The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1895-03-08
sKuLE ALEcKsHuN 4 SUCCESSES

kweshchunabul Sucksess tina kolled
out tn men fur Derecktur--oune NV
them had lots NY whiskers on hiz chm
an, no hare on the top NV hiz he'd an
the uther fellow had no whiskers on
hiz chin an lots NV hare on the sumet
Nv hiz he'd, an Therefore he kood tok
the most an wuz alecked. voted for
both NV them. but hwen the fellow
that namd the votes Kun tn mine he
| kolled them blanks--I had a noshun
ugit MP an tel him he had maid miss
take fur waz a thinker ov the difu-
renee between the tu men an reflecktin
ovur the plezhyoor it wood Civ tu the
diffunt kinds Nv peepul in the dees-
trickt If tha wur both alecked an |
maid slilesmisstake and r0te down
| WiiShytrS on won halut an No Uhis-
icJtrS OH the uther Won-then the
felew whut red out The baluts kolled
them blanks-gess he thot wuz a
| (grene-ide- Beetle or "Santeeam Sue
kur" that dident no enything about
names, but gut awl mi nolege bi taste
and smell don't like the ide.ur purity
good, but CESS i've gut tu take mi med
isun, so I've swollerd it.
4 / wuz sum whut refined tu mi fate
hwen hurd the discushun ontu the
skule teachurs az tn ther pleb tefulnes.
I it wuz brite an deep-so many Nv us
had tot skule befour that wee kood hit
the week pints in he prezunt admin.
nnstrashun, (ide like tu sit down on
the fellow that maid that last wurd, it
1t texas so awl fired long tu spell it) an
sho um how extFayegunt onnessesary
crewul an preposturusly purnicketty
wuz the sistum Nv skweezing b techurs
4 intu A romz ali 8 Nv EN- wimmin at
that. jest thun sum Zig fellow that
was man in EVERY cents NY the
wurd hwen it kun tu DRAWN air, be-
lowed out ''5 rooms il the lure" an
you ort tu hev hurd the applawze that
went up! it was sole--inspirein. The
rattlin Nv them fete cawzed concushun
IN mi branez an yoo just ort tu hev
hurd NEE tok to thet ass-emblage Nv
skule patturns, until teers az big az
guse egs fel frum mi blurred ize an wet
the booZum Nv mi blue fanell shirt
that had wore awl wintur so that i
mite be abel tn git galluses fur mi 8
boys SO tba kood awl go tu skule 7
dase. hwen hi sum streek NV deviltry
born in him frum the kingdum after
wich he wuz named, he urned the
most deep-seeted lickin that ever
tuehed the feelins Nv boy. The
Perfeur maid him lay down OH a chare
like he wus lookin down a crawfish
hole an tim he give him Solomuns
kure frum the reer an that boy had an
awful spel NV brane fevur-now sa
no pursun IL fit tu teech skule onless
he studdis the annotomy Nv every
child. Kaws awl childrun air MKT
sum-mi 8 boys has gut ther branez in
difrunt phases now the Perfesur hit
Brit write on his brane-pan-now he
mite a licked Tad enywher if he
didunt bit hiz handz an nevr hunt hiz
branoz kawse he IL the smartest boy at
steelin ever sea. then thers mi Zeke
he mite bud him tu Kingdum Kun
an never hurt hiz brauez, kawse he IL
like "a Sukker his branze air in hiz tale
and cents he haz gut out Nv the mon
key stage the tale IL gon an so he haz
no branze,
| kant sea whut the skule borde wus
thenkin abowt hwen tina hired teech-
ers for 4 rooms--tha furgut that the
peepuls voises wus republican an ort
tu bee hurd-why mi hired man Peet
gifts up at foUur okloek EVERY mornin
an feads the horses milks the kows
lslops the pigs kleens the the stabel
then goes tu the field an plow frum
oklock til dark so he doze, an awl fur
Il SIS munth with borde an whut is a
teecher but hired man if he aint a
J hired wonun. yes ime fur ekonummy
SO much so that koled mi ol6ust
gal Ekonunmy an i've meyer regretted
1t kawse her iniioounce over her II
sisturs is eggzacktly along that line.
lme in iayur NV maxim the skule da 10
ours long sted NY 6 an then them
teechers MI hev sum thing elce tu du
sides korallin um UNI selvez-5 in
|numbur--in 4 roomz with 26l kids.
Yes fellow votuis an tacks pa urz,
ime goin tu yell fur roomz If have
hav tu put kottun in mi Eerz tn stop
yOor noize-I wus tokkun with wun
NV them paper mill felowz an he told
NEE he lhot the borde kood rent wun
Nv the back rooms NV the papper-mill
verIG cheep and git it seeted with Kot-
tun-woud bloks, which woud max
very soft an plezunt seets an the chill