Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-03-14
Sprink1es of Spice.

Sprinkles of Spice.
II lost my head completely. And then
| kissed herr Il don't quite see how
you managed itr'-Life~
Ella-"You ought to have seen Jack
when he proposed" Stella meanly)-
"Oh, I've seen him. Boston Courier.
Miss Elderbody-"I hate men who
box-"To others?'-Boston Transcript.
Kitty-"Isn't that very expensive
suit Dicky Doubtful has on?" Tom
Eyes; for his tailor Smith, Gray &
Co.'s Monthly.
He-"I think Percy Giblettes is. a per-
feet calf" She-"You misjudge him.
He could not be perfect in anything."-
Syracuse Post.
us Miss Hicks as shy and backward
as she used to be-" 'Well if you don't
think SO just watch her get off a street
car once."-Chicago Inter Ocean.
Cynic-"How's that novel of yours
coming along?" Scribbler-"It isn't
! coming along. l forgot to inclOse
stamps for it's return. "-Syracuse Post.
How is your sister getting on with
her singing lessons?" "Well, papa has
taken the wadding out Of his ears for
the first time to-day."-Fliegende Blat-
ter.
"Scientists say that there are mi
crobes in kisses'' said Miss I<ittish to
Mr.. Hunker Happy microbes" ex-
claimed the young man, ecstatically.-
Life
Wife lat breakfasD-'I didn't hear
you when you came in last night"
Husband--'I guess that's the reason l
didn't hear YOU -Philadelphia In
quirer.
Mrs. Watts-''You have a most re-
markably hard face, to tell you the
truth" Dismal Dawson-"Yes'm, that
is because it is so dry" -Indianapolis
Journal.
Blobbs-''Do you think the average
man is as stupid before he marries as
he is afterwards?' Cynicus-"Certain-
ly, or he wouldn't get married. "-Phila-
delphia Record.
After the concert: Hell envy that
man who sang the tenor solo" She
"Why, l thought he had. very poor
voice." He-''So did l. But Just think
of his nerve!'-Life. -.
(Which is my part in this duet?"
asked the prima donna, of her husband,
who was the tenor. "Your part? Here
it is, of course. The one with the last
words in Washington Star.
Mrs. Murphy-"Yes, sonny, I've had
a fruit stand on this block for thirty
years" Tim Ryan-"If you'd have ad-
vertised you might have owned the
block by this time. Boston Globe.
She-"Do you think 1 look as old as
they say do?" He-"If you mean the
gentlemen, say yes; but if you mean
as old as your lady friends say, I say
no, decidedly. Boston Transcript.
Collector-You say that you are not
liable to income tax? Why, you must
be spending $4,000 year! Jack Dash
ing-Very likely; but what has that to
do with my income?-New York Sun.
Hamlet had a funny experience on
the road recently. Yorick-What was
that? Hamlet-Why, the management
gave us our salary regularly every
week for two weeks.-Syracuse Post.
Wiggins-'My boy, if you live beyond
your income you are bound to come to
grief" Spenditt-"My dear fellow, if
| had to live within it, would be mis-
cradle even now!'-Harper's Bazaar.
Mrs. Ashpen-I found it almost inn
possible this morning to get man to
shovel snow. Mrs. Dustbin-Poor fell
lows! l suppose they're all too busy
looking for .-Roxbury Gazette.
you don't seem to think this story
very funny" complained Smallwort,
after he had finished. "Oh yes, / do"
answered Ford. eco ahead and tell
some more of it" --Cincinnati Tribune.
Boy" Shovel off your snow?' Lady
NO. I've got husband who can do
it." Boy-"My goodness, you look too
young to be married" Lady--"Ahem!
Well, you can do it.'-Harper's Weekly
Mr.. Wixham-"Did you ask that new
girl to show you her recommends
tons" Mrs. WiXham-"No; recon-
mendations don't amount to anything.
I've given them myself" -Someryille
Journal.
Sayboy-'I want to make match
with Madge." Gayboy-"Why don't
you do it!' Sayboy-"Her father says
it takes money to start match fac
tory on his premises" Philadelphia
Inquirer.
Banl1s-"The Chinese should engage
some New York boarding house keep
ers to sail their men-of-war." Tanks
Not to serve meals for them,
hope?" Banks-"No; to repel board
erS judge