St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1895-06-15
..vvhat We standing there all day

bamboo fish poles with German silver
io,nts. don't We? Why don't ye go get
the table, if you're going to. fore
stiffen out here like blamed old mum
my and have to go into private col
lection under exhibit Ar
Mrs. Wigglesworth got back as soon
as possible, but not before her hus-
bands arms had pulled out and he had
dashed the paper on the floor and was
stamping on il. Nothing relieves a
man like stamping, 80 when they had
arranged the table, mahogany table +
with shiny top-beside the wall. and |
put little hassock on top of It. Mr.. |
Wipglesworth felt Sufficiently molliaed /
TO snip off another length Of the |
Beardsley pattern and apply some more
paste TO its posterior surface, maintain
ing a steady currentof growing at hia
wife, on general principles.
ssNow don't be d fool, this time,a ne
said, encouragingIy, as they picked up
the paper and he laboriously climbed
to the polished surface Of the table
with Il. Then he stepped cautiously
upon the hassock and stood there an i'm
stant, his knees wobbling painfully.
.sCan you reach7n his wife called
from below. She was busy keeping her
part Of the paste away from the ma
hogany table.
ssReachq" echoed Mr.. Wigglesworth,
| In q concentrated voice. What ye
| s'pose I'm up here for, anyway Think
| I'm addressing the county convention2
| Want me to move an amendment IN
favor of woman's suffrage, don't YEP"
Then the hassock turned slightly, as
the worm is said to do, and in catching
his balance and breath Mr.. Wiggles-
/ worth ierked the paper out of his wife's
i grasp. The paper turned'a smart corner
and tapped up against the wall and
! clung in a clammy and tenacious en-
brace.
What ye do that for?" shouted Mr..
Wigglesworth, as loud as the uncer-
tain hassoek would permit.
I'll didn't go to- returned his
frightened wife, and with what alacrity
/ she was mistress OF she unpeeled the
cold and deathlike sheet.
Nov you let it alone, dye hear?"
warned her husband, and acting upon
his direction Mrs. WigglesWorth re-
tired to the far side of the room, where
she watched him in species OF fascin-
alton. This is the tragedy that speedi-
lv unfolded itself before her:
Mrs. Wigglesworth, feeling more and
more the treacherous character OF the
hassock. held his knees at that angle
which gives to oeven the strongest man
an appearance of weakness. His arms
were thrust out to their full capacity
and, though at q distance, Mrs. Wig
ellsworth could feel their dreadful
ache. First, her husband pressed his
, end of the strip close up to the Dor
der; the lower end caught on also q
the same instant. but in quite anothel
! bart 81 gl1s room. tsiasl BY the time Mr.
!, Wipglesworth had reached painful,
: downward and fetched it loose, at thu
same moment muttering something
that Mrs WigglesWorth tried hard e
Z hear, but couldn't, distinctly, the up
per end came away and tapped dowr
= over Mr.. Wigglesworth's forehead
j i leaving more paste there than his vii
had thought could be left on one fore
S head in single afternoon. Mr. Wig
~ glesworth's comments upon this trans
' action, as he frenziedly snatched q
oil the paper, were not only clearly aud
BILE to the wife, but even penetrated t
n the hired girl, who promptly opene
r the kitchen door to see il she nigh
!. not be able to hear still palmer. The
g Mr.. Wigglesworth, with an earnes
ness that nobody could avoid noticing
k spanked the moist side OF that pape
- against the wall and slapped it wit
both hands till the creations of Aubre
e. Beardsley's fancy ran all into eae
e. other
n Now fix the lower end, chirpe
p Mrs. Wigglesworth from the distanc
sd This was one of those things th'
le were better left unsaid. Mr.. Wiggle
is worth had stood on that uncertain ha
lg sock till his knees appeared perma
ently fixed at ha1f-cock, his arms we
id stretched clean out of their legitima
" precincts, his head was bursting WI
the hot air of the upper strata, and pc
r. spiration glued his garments SO close
OF him that he appeared to have BET
RS born that way. When this gratuito
i'd direction burst cooingly from his wit
ar lips, he fetched mad snatch at {
a lower end of the paper, and on the
up stant the hassock. w ith q low, fendi
chuckle, turned over on the other sis
de Mr.. Wigglesworth had only time
he one veil, but it was full grown in ar,
In and then vau1ted into the air,
irl paper letting go its hold and tral
e ferring its affections to the falling +
MS tunes Of the house of Wiggleswor
st. and as that gentleman went saih
al through the atmosphere, the
DIS per wound itself in sinuous TO
nd about him, till a stranger looking in
cir the widow would have said that 4
ro- Wiggiesworth was an admirable ivi
gh picture reproduced from the Yell
all Book.
aThat's righti'' he yelled, soon as
.hes could get to his feet and kick the b
The sock through the door. ''stand o
htn there with your thumb in your mo-
I al and toeing,in that's all you're good
per Wha' dye let go that paper for7"
he continued, shaking his fist toward
ste ceiling; .swhy didn't ye steady
nd. table, same's told ye? You make
9Th out the blamedest old fool in Is
linz county, always trying to help you v
your economizing, but want you
hesl understand thai, the next time you
du- me to chore around at honse-clean
nv name won't be Wigglesworth!"
the he rushed up to the bathroom to q
IN q himself.
ine II felt awfully about II, said