The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-06-09
BURGLAR AND PUDDING.
The Effect Was Mor,iiyinG to "a Proud CHI
cago Family.

The Effect Was Mortiiying to Proud 'ni-
caco Family.
A certain family in popular residence
die,rict OF. the north shore Is IN tenn
norarv disgrace with its neighoors' anu
an because of a series OF ludicrous ms
adventures in which the members OF lne
family referred to were the actors, anu
which resulted I'm a racket that MADE
some people think the noise-maker5 hau
rot mixed up in their dates AM were ceie-
brating the Fourth Of July SIX OF seven
weeks ahead Of time, says the Chicaso
Intcr-Ocean. ,o.-
father. mother and twelye-year-old SON
II occpnies a pleasant home and mas
been always regarded by friends ana
acauaintances as the po5sessor OF doInes-
tic happiness Of an unauthorized Drahd.
II would. no doubt, still hold good uie
TO general esteem II its serenity had not
been disturbed some time ago by Nisi-
tor. The visitor was parsonage that
has the faculty Of making himself upi-
ouitous in Chicago-to Wit, gentlemahiy
industrious burglar.
Mr.. Burglar took precautions TO give the
family as little trouble as possible our
ing his visitation. Toward TINS end nc
removed his shoes before crawling through
as The means OF ingrcss. probably be-
cause he desired TO strengthen himselt
with a slight collation. before proceeding
TO active labor il was this lunch That
spoiled his enterprise. In the gioanlihs
he mistOOk a bottle Of Worcestershire
sauce for imported beer, and he helped
himself TO a generous swig Of the iquld
10 wash down some sandwiches ne haa
eaten. The fiery relish took the ROPER
breath away and severe MT OF coughing
aroused the household. The thief escapei
knocking down a shelf fun OF crockcry
as he squeezed himself through the win
dow. but he was so thoroughly scared
that ne forget TO pick up his shoes III
passing.
The cough. which was louder and more
rampant than the most boisterous lung
disturbance ever described in patent med
icIne literature. the avalanche OF cups
dishes and preserve bottles, and the shoes
which the milkman next morning suggest
cd might 1--we been stolen from a suicide,
have. proved monuments OF terror TO the
family ever since. Father, mother or
son has scarcely slept Every night there
Is a pilgrimage through the rooms and
q thorough examination OF closets, cellar
and attic When the inquisitors retire 10
bed IL IS only to fan into a scmi-slumber
ana dream OF IldThFf hfiAh l't+"'i4'+f 49,
volvtrs and other accessories Of the mid
night maraudor. The family is living ii
a state of constant alarm.
The menu of Sundays dinner included
English plum pudding. Plum pudding Is
about the last thing that nervous people
should eat. When taken in large quaint
ties by little boys II is positively hob
goblin producing. The little boy in the
north shore hcme had no appetite foi
ANYTHING only plum pudding Sunday. lie
ate IL at dinner and again at supper. and
would have eaten more later on only nc
fell asleep on the sofa and had TO be car
led TO bed. The inevitable, OF course
happened. He had an attack of somnam-
buism about midnight aud got up tc
search for burglars and plum pudding.
When his mother. awaking from IT.
full sleep, discovered the outline of a
ghost-like visitor in her room she scream
ed "Murderw In an instant paterfami
las was on the floor and moment lateI
two white-robed figures were rolling over
on the carpet in hopeless confusion.
Its ], papa" roared the boy, who haC
been literally chOked into consciousness
Meantime the mother kept up tornado
Of wells. believing her husband was beini
murdered The boy. when he got through
shouting on his own account commenced
yelling for the sake of his mother, undel
! the impression that some one was attack
ing her.
Ii took several minutes 10 straighien
things out. When al was quiet every
body felt ashamed and mortified. Hal
the neiehbOrhoOd sat up all night an'
was afraid 10 venture out TO look for al
explanation of the noise. The actors II
the racket have kept a discreet silence.
The father told a friend yesterday that
there is sewer gas In his house and IL D.
likely he is looking for an excuse 10 move
AWAY.