Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1895-03-21
ASSOCIATION OF sMOnERs.
Suggestions az to the Value of sucf
n National Organization.

For the Dispatch)
/ have been requested TO give my opin-
ion of a proposition to organize a ma
tional association Of cigarette-smokers,
and | cannot forego the opportunity Of
expressing my views on 30 momentous a
subject. II Is one on which | have re-
fect.d long and seriously. and have
come TO the conclusion that there are
two facts which the American people
might as well understand and recognize
once for all-the cigarette-smoker r. mere;
and. more than that, he has come TO
stay.
What. then. Is his normal position as n
rep, sentative factor Of American civili-
cation? In other words. what Is the ma
tiCrGl significance Of smoke? why,
smoke is the very sign and symbol or
our Country's greatness. 1t represents
the mechanical and commercial enter
prise and power Of the land. For with
out the smoke OF our furnaces and fac
tories and steamers and locomotives our
grandeur as a nation would be abso-
luteIy unsubstantial and invisible. Thus
the cigarette-smoker shares with the eagle
the exalted honor Of being a national
representative. But Is he to stop at this?
Has he ~ higher destiny than that
Of being a mere emblem or token
If the energetic performances or the
doughty football player furnish the ma
ticnal standard OF heroic inspiration and
high muscular achievement; II the spas
mode jerkiness and grim comicality OF
the baseball pantOmime can be justly
regarded as the typical expression OF
manly grace and beauty; II the ghost-like
locCmotion Of the bicycle-rier constitutes
% al Hs -. IA
nifty; and II each OF these modes Of vital
eLergy contains within Itself a sufficient
ra,son d'etre for separate organization,
why may not the gentle cigaret,e-smOker
come to the front. assert the Grcgarious-
ness Of his nature. and claim the Tignt 10
have a national association?
What IS the grand object Of national
associations generally? Obviously, first.
the creation Of a few official positions
with hieh-sOunding titles. whereby OBJ
scure individuals may become suddenly
endowed with national regulations; and
secondly. 10 encourage ana facilitate So
cial intercourse among congenial spirits.
But can II be truly said that cIgarett,
smokers are not cOugcnitl spirits? Il
there no such thing as honor or COMPETE
ton In the production Of smoke. and.
therefore. no opening for a national
.
are not cife- tie smokers men in tn,
fullest and foggiest sense Of the term
II 30, let them organize, and the esprit
du corps will not be wanting. The auto
matte consumer Will soon fraterniZe with
the buyer Of the ready-made article and
the cigarette VIII in time become beau
uful substitute for the pipe Of peace. Ny
automatic I mean tine smoker who does
his own rolling) 1t Is certain that neither
the match-seler nor the papsr-maker will
object 10 such an Org nizatiOn 3s H. here
proposed, TO say nothing Of tho tobacco
grower, the physician. the funeral direc-
tor. and many others who are materially
interested In cultivating not only the
weed. but a universal taste for IT,
As | have not been asked 10 formulate
n scheme Of organization viii only
hlnt that no club ought 10 consist oi
more than thirty members, as the smoke
produced by Hfteen vigorous puff Rs
would be amply sufficient for thirty
lnhaieTs. including the buffers thCm-
selves, thus saving much expense. The
subordinate titles Of honor among III,
fraternity might be such az Capdcious
Inhaler, Graceful Curier. Rapid Nhihr-
lnfallible Single-Stroke Ga match-lighteD
Instantaneous Igniter-l e., ono who SIC
ceCds IN lighting his cigarette in the very
slant he has struck IT, which Is a pretN
trick The national dignitarles might b,
known as Thrice Illustrious Cloud-Com
peller. Vicar of Pens Nephelegereta: Su
preme Master Of SUblmated Nicotine
Prince Of the Brazen Lungs and suci
other appropriate designations as circum
stances may suggest.
Yes. let us look forward 10 the tim,
when the Grand National Conclave o
Cisarette-SmOkers will assemble annual,
10 consult for the good or the ORDER an,
il may come 10 pass, through the process.
Of evolution. that the remote descendant
Of the present patron Of the cigarett,
Will have become natural balloon, need
ing only 60 Initiate his lungs with smok,
In order to mount up like the eagle. and
when he is tired Of soaring, find a con
genial resting-place on the summit Of
Nesuvius, or the yapory bosom of a cloud
FUMUS.
Richmond. Va.