The record-union., 1895-04-29
THE FAT MANS JOKE.
How He Was Helped on the Car to q
Good Seat.

How He Was Helped on the Car to q
Good Seat.
| skip lively nowr' shouted the con-
| ductor.
But the fat man on the corner was evil
| IDENTITY very feeble. The conductor
Jumped off to give him helping hand
| but his strength seemed not sufficient tC
boost the passenger aboard. So-for the
car was somewhat behind time-the
driver came to his assistance. Still il
was quite lift, and it was only with the
ald OF asympathetic department clerk in
glglamps that the new fare was finally
lifted into the vehicle. The driver and
conductor pushed from behind, while the
individual in giglamps held on to the
Iapels OF the fat man S overcoat and pulled
with might and main.
At length the fat man was showed
| through the rear doorway of the convey
ance and dropped into a seat. The anna
bly, disposed department clerk wiped the
perspiration from his brow, while the
driver resumed his stool in front and
whipped up his horses. The conductor
gave yank at the bell strap and re-
marked:
well, that's the nearest thing to a
corpse l ever handled"
Fully two minutes had been lost, and
the muttered profanity of the driver was
IN measure pardonabIe The car, under
an impetus given by few lashes be-
slowed upon the horses, sped rapidly
onward, while the fat man proceeded TO
! dlsengage himself from his hat which
had been crushed down over his head
to some extent. 1t was observed that his
nose was red, perhaps from the biting
air, and that cheerful smile irradiated
! countenance. Furthermore, he wiuked
pleasantly twice or thrice at a pretty
young woman who sat opposite so that
/ 81 I4agRD fgNr
| lZlng probably that such signals, when
given by stout gentlemen of a certain
! age, merely indicate respectful admira-
! ton,
And him on the edge of the grave!''
| thought a respectable Irish woman with
market basket, half-aloud She sat
next to the pretty girl and took notice oi
| those Winks.
Perhaps ten minutes had passed, and
| the car had got eight or nine blocks fur
| ther on its journey, when 1t stopped at a
| street corner, and the fat man rose to get
| out. Without exhibiting the slightest
| symptom of his previous decrepitude he
! walked out upon the rear platform-the
| conductor being at the moment in the
| forward part of the vehicle-and refus-
| ing an arm proffer6d by the department
clerk in giglamps, jumped lightly down
ana OH the steps. The conductor, giving
pull at the bell rope, and fastening out
just in time to witness this surprising
spectacle, could only say:
by goshr ~
The fat man, turning and waving a
sky-blue umbrella which he carried
shouted back:
''Oh, l forgot!"
Forgot what?" asked the conductor
not al all recovered from his amazement
Il forgot was so feeble" replied the
erstwhile decrepit passenger. Then he
added, TIA, tan' and skipped lightly upor
/ the sidewalk.
We'll, Pm dashed" calculated the de.
| p1rtment clerk
Il should say sor' said the conductor
Ihat teller was just putin up a job Oh
US, pretendln' he was most a corpse
j lust wait till he tries that on me again
and I'll drop him into a mud puddle"
The car sped onward, but for a while
all the Joy had gone out of the life of two
human beings. And the driver had no
yet heard of the little game which haC
transpired.- -Washinton Star.