davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10
On tho Prnmenada.

When taking his walk abroad, Horr
Won Pump is generally to be seen in the
company Of plain looking but wealthy
heiress. His creditors arc thus deluded
into tho expectation OF marriage be-
tween the pair and give him little
longer respite.
Suffle, tho student and joyous boon
companion, prefers to BIO seen walking
arm in arm with Sanftmeier, candi-
date for tho ministry. People are then
heard to remark, "Suffle is beginning to
grow steady, 1t appears.
Ehrhnber. the manufacturer, likes to
trot along with Krieger, the old veter-
an, whose breast Is all covered with
medals and ribbons ga little borrowed
splendor, Ehrhnber thinks, will
shine upon my empty buttonholes. F"
Anna, not particularly good looking.
always goes out with Bertha, who is de-
cidedly plain. Then folks will say,
Gamma is not bad, after oil. "-Humor-
istischo Blatter.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10
Feminine IngenuitIes.

OF the multifarious uses of the hair
pin, some at least are we'll known. They
are suggested by a French travellers de-
scription Of pin which tho Indian
women of Peru wear as fastening for
their shawls It's head is in the shape Of
q spoon. In fact, it is spoon and q
shawlpin in one.
1t is odd, the Frenchman says, to see
a woman pull out the pin, letting her
shawl drop from her bare shoulders, and
proceed to use it for eating her soup or
porridge. After the repast she passes
the bowl Of tho spoon carefully between
her lips two or three times, gathers up
her shawl and fastens 1t in place.
The same women use their slippers
instead of pocketbooks - a point in
which they may be said to have the adj
vantage of their North American sis
ters. who, having no pockets, or mono
within comfortable reach, are compelled
to carry their purses In their hands.
The money of Lima consists of bank
notes, which go very well into the bot
tom of slipper
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10
RESEARCHES IN THE AIR.
There Are Millions of Dust Particles In q
Cubic Foot.

There Are Millions of Dust Particles In
Cubic Foot.
The air of meeting room, tested in
different places and at different times
during the progress of the meeting,
showed numbers of micro organisms
varying from 1876, 900 to 3, 500, 900. The
dir near tho ground contained fewer
than the air near the ceiling. For exam
pie, tho air some four feet from the
ground contained s70, before the
meeting and at the end of the meeting
400, 900, whilo near the ceiling the
amount at tho beginning of the meeting
was 5000, 900, and at the end of the
meeting this had been increased to
8, 500, 900.
Air near burning jet of gas showed
the largest figures Of all. Thus, in the
immediate vicinity of bunsen flame the
gigantic number of 10000, 900 was
found in a cubic centimeter, or $780,
900, 900 per cubic inch. In Mr.. Atkins
own words: "It does seem strange that
there may be as many dust particles in
one cubic inch Of air of room at night
when the gas is burning as there are
inhabitants in Great Britain, and that
in three cubic inches of gases from q
bunsen flame there are as many parti-
cles as there are inhabitants of tho
world"
Possibly tests on the air of smoking
rooms would reveal still greater num-
bers. Mr.. Aitken has not yet tested such
air, but he found that q cigarette
smoker sends 1000. 600, 900 particles.
moro or less, into the air with every
puff he makes. -Gentleman' s Magazine.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10
PracticIng n Fit.

Crossing City Hall park one day re-
porter saw an Italian boy suddenly fall
fiat on his back on tho pavement. Sew
eral companions instantly knelt by his
side, some slapping tho palms of his
hands, some rubbing his face. They
were all laughing very much, and after
q minute or two of this work the boy
rose and in two or three moro minutes
repeated tho game, this time all being
serious, especially SO when they noticed
that tho same man was watching them.
The boys who were doing the slap
ping and rubbing looked out from I'M
der their tangle Of hair and grinned at
the reporter little at first, and then
became serious again.
"What is tho gamer" the reporter
asked newsboy who was also watching.
Dem kids is pract' Gin fake" ho
replied.
"a fake?'
"Sure, having fits t. work guys. Any
old guy takes pity on kid wild dc fits
and gives him nickel. See?"-New
York Sun.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10
Thought lie Was Deooher.

When Henry Ward Beecher was at
tho height of his career, there were q
few men who resembled him near
enough to BIO ablo to duplicate him in
public. Among these was Judge -
of Buffalo, who sometimes found the
likeness source of annoyance. At one
time the judge was travelling with q
party of ladies who were under his care.
He gallantly ascribed tho attention he
received to them, but on an occasion
when he retired to the smoking car the
riddle was solved The moment he left
tho parlor car couple of strange men
hurried in, and after apologizing to tho
ladies for the intrusion asked very ear
nestly if the gentleman in their company
were not Mr.. Beecher. Upon being as
sured that he was not, one man turned
to the other, and handing him roll of
bills said:
Take them; you've won." Then,
turning to the ladies, he explained, II
bet 800 that your friend was Mr..
Beecher, and I've lost" And he fol-
lowed his companion from the car. Tho
judge laughed heartily when told of the
incident and said it was not the first
time that another mans greatness had
been thrust upon him. Detroit Free
Press
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10
QUEER ADVERTISEMENTS.
Some of the Remarkable Announcement
That Appear In Austrian Papers.

Some of the Remarkable Announcements
That Appear In Austrian Papers.
Austrian matrimonial advertisements,
according to a contemporary corre-
spondent at Vienna, are marked by an ac-
ceptable humorous audaoity. Here, for
instance, is one that ran for six or seven
days: "Wanted. "A rich lady, no mat
ter how old, who will finance stu
dent of medicine until such time as he
obtains his degree, when ho engages to
marry his benefactress. -
And another is quoted wherein a
young prince seeks handsome girl with
dowry of not less than e250, 900.
When the desired mate is obtained,
all ones needs are apparently satisfied,
judging from this advertisement for q
purchaser for "a we'll trained monkey,
talkative parrot and beautiful sym
pathetic cat, !" which belongs to lady,
who, owing to her approaching mar
riage, has no further use for them.
The most amusing of tho advertise
ments quoted by our contemporary is,
however, that of the very Irish peru
quier, who makes wigs for linen of in
telleot, philosophers, scholars and poll
.icians, whose severe mental labor in
the cause of humanity has filled their
brains with genial ideas, while depriv'
ing their heads of their natural capil.
larry envelopes. These "artistically
finished wigs, the advertiser continues,
"while extremely useful and highly or
namental to the wearer, are guaranteed
absolutely invisible to the spectator
They can be seen any day in my private
+"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10
REVERSED BY A COLLISION.
An Old Brake man Tells Of q Queer Rail
road Accident He Witnessed.

An Old Brake man Tells OF q Queer Rail-
road Accident He Witnessed.
The most remarkable wreck / was
ever In, said an old brakeman, chap
pened on the Short Line between Pewee
and Boards some years ago. It was
freight wreck. had charge Of the La
Grange accommodation and was bound
in to Louisville. We were following
hard upon the trail Of train No. 80, also
bound for Louisville. Train No IA was
coming in our direction. It had been
delayed some minutes at Pewee, but ex-
pected to mako up tho time and side
track between Pewee and Boards on
schedule time, SO that train No. 80
would have the right of way.
'The delay was what caused tho
trouble. The side track am tellingyou
about was just behind and under hill.
Train No ii had just backed on to tho
side track, and before tho switchman
could shift the switch train No. 80
came dashing around the hill. The en-
gineer saw the danger. He turned down
the throttle with hard shove and whis-
tied down brakes His efforts were of
no use, however Train No. 32 turned
in on tho side track and went crashing
into No. IA. All tho cars of the train,
IA, were stripped off the track as clean
as If they had been peas in pod. The
shock of the two trains meeting was Of
course, terrific The whole of train No.
32, including the locomotive toppled
off the track. Remarkable as it may
seem, only the cars of No. IA were
thrown off the track.
"When the two trains struck, the en-
gineer of Ii had his hand on the throt-
tie, about to stop his train. The shock
threw him out of tho cab, and the wrench
threw open the throttle again and re-
versed tho engine. When the cars had
been stripped off the track, the locomo-
tive went wild down the track toward
La Grange. We of the La Grange accom-
mediation had by this time neared the
curve. was at tho head Of tho train as
lookout. l heard the sound of locomo-
tive approaching and signaled the en-
gineer of our train to reverse his engine
He had hardly time to jump to the
throttle whom tho wild locomotive
crashed into US. was thrown, l reckon,
30 feet and came out of it with two
broken legs. No one else was hurt, but
tho La Grange accommodation was day
late. No, l don't railroad any more.
louisville Courier-J ournal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10

One of those grammarian friends met
me the other day and asked me which
was correct, Tomorrow Is Sunday" or
Tomorrow will be Sunday" l told
him the following story: Years ago the
Reading Railroad company issued an
order requiring its brakemen, as soon as
a train started from any station, to call
out the name of the noxt stopping place.
For awhile the trainmen, instructed
doubtless by some grammarian Of the
road, would do this by saying, Next
station will be'-Allentown, Reading,
etc. An editor took them to task for 1t,
pointing out the absurdity of using the
future tense in speaking of that which
always is in the same place. After that
the brakemen dropped will be" and
cried, Next station" - Allentown,
Reading, etc. -Philadelphia Call.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10
Astonishing an Oriental.

Mohammed Abu Said. "Chief Spoon
and Ladle Maker to tho Commander Of
the Faithful" came to know what
Owen thought about the phenix and
whether the bowl of ladle which he
brought with him for examination was
not made from the beak of that bird. 1t
was identified as coming from more
authentic source--the helmeted hornhill
of Ceylon, of which there was fortunate
ly specimen in the museum.
'The head and beak were brought In
to my study and handed to the oriental
He examined it very deity, comparing
the hoax with the bowl, and then ex-
claimed, with establishment and rover
ence: God is great. That surely is the
birdi' Academy.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10
The .nreathing Cave.

In tho state of North Carolina, in the
western part, in tho range of noun
tains known as the Fork range, is located
the most remarkable cavern now known
to exist. 1t is called tho Breathing
Cave" and is certainly most wonder
full natural curiosity. During the summer
months current Of air comes from 1t
which is so strong that full grown
man cannot walk against it, and In
winter the "inrush" of air is equally
strong. At times most unpleasant
odor is emitted from the cave. which is
supposed to BIO from tho oaroasses of
dead animals which have been sucked
in and killed by coming in contact with
the inner walls of tho inanimate, breath
ing monster. During tho spring months.
when tho change from inhalation to ex-
halation takes place, the mir is filed
with pellets of hair, dry bones, small
claws, ETC., which are supposed to come
from creatures sucked into this dry land
maelstrom in times passed.
Many scientists have visited and re-
visited tho place for the purpose of
studying its peculiarities, but still tho
mystery remains unexplained. st. Lou
Is Republic.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10
SURE FER TOOTH WAS PULLED.
The Power of Imagination as Exempiined
In Dentists Chair.

The Power of Imagination as ExempiiAed
In Dentists Chair.
Dentists have a splendid opportunity
Of studying tho power of imagination.
An up town practitioner by way of IL
lustration told reporter about one of
his women patients. She entered, &C.
oompanied by her husband, and point
ing to her swollen face asked the dem
fist to extract tho offending tooth. He
placed her i'll the chair, and taking the
small hand glass which dentists use put
it into her mouth for the purpose of ex-
amining tho molar which was to be OK
tracted
The glass had no sooner touched the
tooth thanshe uttered a frightful scream,
and, bouncing out Of the chair, rushed
out into the waiting room, crying that
her jaw was broken. The united efforts
somo time unable to persuade her that
the tooth was not extracted and that
she could not possibly have been hurt.
After examining her mouth with the
aid of glass she finally became con-
WINGED that tho tooth was still in its
place. Taking her seat in the chair
again, she submitted to the operation Of
extracting tho tooth without murmur
and expressed her surprise that tho pain
was SO slight. New York World.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10
uis Hard Luck Story.

Mr.. McSwat-I made a most annoy
ing discovery this morning about o
clock Two had in my house for the last
six years E.l.
Mr.. ugwater-Turned out to be an
eight day O'Clock, suppose, and you'd
been winding it regularly every morn
ing for
"Oh, no. That's tho old, old story.
This is altogether different. thought
1t was an eight day, and under that Inn
preston had wound it regularly every
Sunday morning for six years. My wife
had been winding it tho other mornings
Of tho week and saying nothing to mo
about it. This morning she forgot it. and
the blamed clock ran down. "-Chicago
Trihuna
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10
wehster In tho Water.

River steamers went down to City
Point occasionally, during the war,
with prisoners to exchange AS there
were torpedoes in the river anywhere
from Drury's bluff to Trent's beach.
and below, their captains ran great
risks. On one occasion two boats were
returning from City Point, fortunately
with no passengers, when one of them
struck torpedo and Immediately went
down. A boat went from the othe.
steamer and found the captain strug-
Cling in tho water, with Webster's
Unabridged Dictionary in his arms. AS
he was pulled into tho boat he said, II
did not have time to get 1t on" He
thought he had seized life preserver.
New York Dispatch.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10
DETAILS OF scHWENINGERlsM.
The Authority on Fat Reducing Enlarges
His Directions.

His Directions.
Professor Schweninger recently gave
this elaborated summary Of his treat
ment to a correspondent of The st.
James Gazette Eat rs much as you
please as often as you like, but not too
much at ameal. Drink no liquid at any
meal. When thirsty, drink little good
aerated water, with few drops of lom-
on or orange juice squeezed into it, but
only an hour before or an hour after
meals. You may also take littlo white
wine or cider that is not sweet or now
and then cup of tea, but never coffee
Smoke little and indulge with mod
Grafton in the other little luxuries to
which you have been accustomed.
Battle often, but do not wet tho en-
tire surface of the body at once. Exer-
else should be regular. Change your po-
sition as often as possible. Do not re-
main standing or sitting or lying too
long at time nor pass too many hours
in bed. Take your meals at different
no6fs, but Whenever you are hungry,
and, If it be not too soon before or after
a meal, drink whenever you are thirsty
Better eat dozen times day than
overload your stomach at two or three
heavy meals at long intervals. Do not
eat the Same article of food too often.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10

The Elmira Advertiser tells story OF
q Clergyman about to leave his parish
who had endeared himself to every one
in it by his self denying pastoral work.
Among those who called upon him to
say goodby were an aged couple who
were particularly fond of him. When
they were about to leave. the old lady,
with much feeling and many tears,
while grasping tho pastor by the hand
(who was moved to tears HIMSELF, said.
"The Lord only knows, Brother s.,
how often Two bitten my fingers that |
might keep awake to hear your good
sermons. The moral of tho story up
pears to be that fine preaching is not tho
only necessary qualification of a clergy
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10
Frozen MILK.

The French industry of icing milk is
an original departure in timed commod-
tiles. The milk is frozen and placed
in block form in tins and ON the part OF
the purchaser requires to be melted pre-
vious to use. Being Theoretically sealed,
the commodity thus iced preserves its
form un.il 1T is required, when a min
ute's exposure to the SUMS rays or to
the heat of the fire is all that is necessa-
~ to reduce it to liquid condition. -
Baltimore Sun.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10

A broader experience is needed to
compose a full grown novel than to
sketch q short story, and tho great nov
elists have often essayed their first elab-
crate fictions when no longer young.
Scott was more than 40 when no pub
lished the first of the Wayerley novels,
Thackeray was not far from 40 when
VANITY Fair" was finished, George
Eliot was almost 40 when adam
Bede" appeared, and Hawthorne was
40 when he sent forth 1.-THE Scarf ct Let
tor" in 1850. --Brander Matthews in
st. Nicholas.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10
Many Crippled German Professors.

An American in Germany was sur
prised to find q number of oripples
among the celebrated college professors,
men whose high standard Of learning
makes them famous the world over. One
Berlin professor is wheeled into his leo
ture room every day, and there are
others similarly, though, for the most
part. less painfully, afflicted. This is
due partly to the fact that, under the
military regime in Germany, when q
boy is disqualified for the army, no is
trained for science or the law. New
York World.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10
ABOUT HEARTBREAK.
Diseases of Slight Importance Become Fa-
tai When Patients Suffer Grief

tai When Patients Suffer Grief.
Grief does not kill, and it is indeed
very seldom that heavy sorrow causes
death to any one when in healthy con-
dition. 1t is, however, very often the
indirect cause Of death, either by bring
ing disease to climax or by rendering
the sufferer more liable to its attack. If
man is convinced that his grief is
more than he can bear, those who have
studied tho matter agree that, through
the force of his own imagination, the
man will actually die from "broken
heart.
The great Napoleon was killed by an
internal disease, but it is supposed that
it would not have been fatal had not
his spirits been so depressed through
exile and defeat William Pitt, the or
ator, is said to have died from a "bro-
ken heart" caused by his great grief at
the failure of his cherished hopes and
plans. And there have been many other
such instances in this country. When
plaques are raging in town, statistics
show that as many die from fright and
imaginary causes as from the real cpl
demio, so great hold has the fear of
death on some people.
If man is condemned to DO shot, it
has often occurred that on the word
fire he has dropped lifeless, although,
through accident or design, no bullet
has in reality left the gun.
There is queer case ON record con-
corning the daughter of n celebrated
novelist, who was deeply interested i'll
one Of her fathers stories. 1t appeared
in installments, and the heroine was suf-
fering from consumption. AS the girl
brooded over the sad fate of the heroine,
she, too, suddenly manifested the same
symptoms. A physician recommended
her father to restore her to health,
which he did few chapters on, and at
the same time as the girl in the novel
recovered so also did his too senti-
mental daughter. New York Dispatch.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10
To Remove Ink Stains.

Ink stains on carpets or wooden goods
can DO removed while they are fresh by
taking common baking soda or salera-
tus, rubbing it we'll into the spots and
then rinsing with warm water. The
Same process will remove dried ink
spots from cotton goods il tho spot has
not been wet with water before the sal
oratus is applied. Jewellers Circular.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10
Whore Silence re- BEST.

"What should Teller say" asked the
young man anxiously, when his wife
asks him If he would marry again If
she were to die?''
"Say nothing, of course" answered
the elderly adviser. eff he says he
would, she'll think he doesn't like her.
If he announces his intention of staying
single, she will have the idea that he is
tired of matrimony. p indianapolis
Journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10
WHY She Did.

Husband-For heavens sake. what
makes you talk 30 much?
Wife pleasantly You do, love
have to keep talking so you will not
have SO many opportunities to say rude
things. Detroit Free Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10
WHOLE NO. LII


So You are dead and gone, old Sorrow.
Only yesterday there you were,
Filling my heart with an aching care
OF grief for today and fear for tomorrow.
Now the skeletons gone, and the cupboard's
bare.
And In your stead is born, old Sorrow,
Hope, whose bright torch burns night to day
And makes winter bloom with the flowers OF
May
Till even your memory seems to borrow
Bright hues because you have passed away.
Old grief, once l thought you could never
cease.
Now sing your requiem. Rest in peacei
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10

ALL READY.

He bought large umbrella
With satisfaction grim,
Likewise a life preserver big
In case he'd have to swim.
He bought diamond star that held
A hundred stones or SO,
A pair of snowshoes for his feet
In case that it should snow.
A book of modern slang he got
And learned it page by page,
And then he was equipped to go
Upon the modern stage.
Tom Mason in New York Sun.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10

"The Campbells Are Comm" is very
old Scottish air. Copies Of it, dating
back to 1920, are known to exist.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10

"Who'll Do King but Charlio?" came
from tho pen of Carolina Oliphant. Tho
air is from a collection of old Scottish
ballads.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10
Ambitious.

Minnie.-The man I marry must be
one can love and respect.
Mamie-Whatl BothP - Cincinnati
Tribune.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10

Among the curios unearthed at Troy
by Dr. Schliemann were several golden
lamps dating from 900 B. g.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10

Essex, tho favorito Of Elizabeth, had
n set of shirts which cost $50 apiece.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-04-10

Barbes were coverings for the lower
part of the face. They reached from the
nose to tho waist. In Italy and France
widows were by law compelled to wear
them