Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-09-23
TOLD BY A BICYCLE.
I am n bicycle.

am q bicycle.
Not such as, swept along by the full tide
of power, the conqueror leads to crimson
glory and undying fame but plain, ordi-
nary-no, not an ordinary" but safety
bicycle for hire
True, I am in good state Of repair and
am as comfortable as my keepers can
make me, but am not decked in ribbons
and nurtured in commodious quarters and
ridden only by the aristocracy over smooth
pavements and for short distances.
never even had such luck when / first
came from the factory. I thought was
going to fall into that good fortune, but a
man took me ON trial-that is to say, he
took me ON the installment plan and tried
to pay for me, but couldn't and was
forced to return me at the end of a month";
and then was only good enough to go
among the hirelings and there 1 have
staid ever since. Goodness me, how long
it seems since got the first wrench to my
steel ribs and had my frame skinned
against tree box
was born combination wheel-that
is, you can take out my spinal column,
and then can be ridden by lady not in
boomers, and thank my stars no boomers
have ever yet enveloped me in their folds.
That time the man had me on trial,
think, was my most uncomfortable expert
ence for he was green at the business, and
so was l. and the result was that both Of
us got bumps innumerable, and, though
he came out Of 1t with a twisted knee, and
sprained ankle, and barked nose, and q
k,,x% Ill oh
eye, with few other incidental casuali-
ties, I was nothing to brag Of myself.
That's why when he had to give me up
they put me on the hireling list.
But l was experienced, and that was
something.
A bicycle has good deal to learn when
1t first leaves the factory.
People who came to hire wheels looked O
little shy at me as l stood quietly In my
rack and then passed me by, but not for
long. My keepers put a new coat Of en-
amel on me and otherwise put me in shape,
and thereafter I became quite popular.
Riders who had me out for spin when
they returned would say they didn't know
why it was, but seemed to be more in
telligent than other wheels they had tried,
and was not half as liable to make q
sudden swerve and bang into wagon in
bank or to do any of the 40 dozen other
things bicycle is likely to do when the
rider is least expecting it,
OF course I knew this myself and was
constantly trying to please, just as any
other public servant is for hadn't had
enough of bang and batter with that in
stallment plan party? guess yes, and
am sure aproperly regulated bicycle knows
when it has had enough.
Sometimes, though, couldn't help be-
ing little frisky. Once remember an
athletic sort of fellow took me out, and
for six mortal hours he pedaled me all over
every road in the suburbs, rough and
smooth and almost drove every bit Of
breath out of my tires 1 submitted be-
cause couldn we'll do otherwise, but the
time Of my revenge was at hand He was
pumping me along bit of pleasant coun-
try road where the shade would have been
very grateful to me If he had only run
along slowly, when he caught up with q
pretty girl on an awfully ornamental
wheel.
I could hear him laugh with chuckle
at his luck, and he sailed alongside of her
and began talking. Of course he had no
business to, but bioyclists that way are
not so extremely formal and she talked
back at him, and it wasn't long until he
was entirely absorbed in the girl and was
leaving all the rest of the matter to me.
Then pricked up my ears and got ready,
and all at once, when we came to good
place. took header into ditch. The girl
screamed, the man swore, and lay over
OH my side helpless, but happy. He and ]
rode home in a passing pie wagon, the girl
disappeared, and it cost him 81 for repairs.
I don't know why it is; but, after some
years Of experience, am prepared to as.
sert that fat woman Weighing 200
pounds is just twice as heavy as fat man
Of the same weight. If some scientist will
explain this, he will do all Of us bicycles
great favor. However, I don't care very
much about it, because l made it con-
venient to dump the fat lady one evening
into pond of water, and she came SO near
drowning that she has organized crusade
against the wheel and has bought an inter-
est in patent antifat remedy.
But there was another woman-ah, me,
what delight it was to go flying with
herl She was dainty little creature,
light as fairy and strong as wire, and
she knew where all the prettiest places
were, and there we went together, and she
drew pictures of sylvan scenes while
leaned up against a tree and watched her
by the hour. One day handsome young
fellow wheeled by, and they nodded pleas.
antly, she blushing bit and he smiling.
Several days after that they came to my
place together, and she took me away with
her for three days. That was delight to
me, for we went far off by easy stages and
the young man on his own wheel-a
beauty it was, too--went with us.
There were others in the party, but my
interest was in these two, and paid no
heed to what the others did or where they
went The third day as we were bowling
homeward my lady appeared to be Ill at
case, and there were times when, II had
not had all my wits about me, we would
surely have gone of tho road and over the
bank into whatever may have been below
to have received us. The young man was
never far off, but he was not as he had
been, and after wondering nearly all day
what could have happened remembered
to have seen them the night before on the
piazza, where I leaned up against the wall.
I was feeling the need Of rest and did
not pay much attention to them, but re-
membered that they were quarreling Zone
Of those lovers quarrels, you know, and
she was an independent little body, quite
equal to cope with any man. knew this,
and 30 let it pass, and took my rest quite
oblivious Of my surroundings or theirs
What really happened don't know, but II
must have been more serious than I sus-
pectcd, for our homcward trip was any
thing but pleasant.
Then didn't see him any more, though