The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-11-20
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

AS rule, when a story is funny, it
is not true. - Atchison Globe.
II nobody considers you crank,
you must have attracted very little at.
tention.
The family tree would be all very
fine if it were not all tree and no
crop. Life.
A dog will always fight another dog
quicker if it has a ribbon around its
neck. -Atchison Globe.
''I will snatch kiss !" he exclaimed.
"Iveriiy believe" she faltered, shyly,
"you have the face to try it on. "
The man who can compose song
without the word "Oh" at the begin
ming should be given a medal. -Peck's
| Sun.
Friend-"Was the season satisfac-
tory?" Actol-"Well, we escaped
with our lives and some of our
| trunks?"
1t is hard to believe that a man is
telling the truth when you know you
would lie were you in his place. -Bos-
ton Transcript
Cave Gnome--"What's driving you
ashore?H Sea Serpent (shudderingly)
1.-THE mermaids are trying to wear
bloomers. Chicago Tribune.
Here : fact that s true to the cynic
As to the old gray-bearied sage:
The up-to date woman is never
Right square up to date in her age.
Puck.
miss Passe INDUCED in somewhat
withering sarcasm when she was talk
ing of you. 20 1t is her privilege, poor
thing. She is somewhat withering
herself. indianapolis Journal.
"Anyhow, said Dismal Dawson,
"they amt no man can lay his hand
on his heart and say truthfully that l
took his job of work away from hun,
and that goes !''-Indianapolis Jour,
nal.
"Bettcr wait awhile, said the Gum
mingsFille sage. After you get to be
a few years older you won't want any
thing to live for. Just living will be
considerable satisfaction. - Cincin-
natl Enquirer.
Hortense-"I suppose there is al
ways something in life to spoil mans
happiness? Van Jay-"Yes; if
man is poor he can't be happy, and if
if he is rich the chances are lie will
get married. ."-Brooklyn Eagle.
The Guest--"Here What do you
mean by waking me up three times
this morning and telling me it is
breakfast time? And here catch you
running away with the sheet" Boy
"Well, you see, sir, we've got to git
the tablecloth whether you get up or
not. "-Tit.Bts.
Old Mercator Ito little Billy Ducks,
just left school, who applies for situa-
ton as Office boy, and produces testi-
monial from clergymanl--"We don't
want you on Sundays, my good little
boy. Have you a reference from any
one who knows you on week days?"-
Sydney Bulletin.
"Why," asked Dismal Dawson,
leaning over the fence, "why do you
keep on diggin when the boss amt
aroundw "Because / really like the
job, said the new farm hand, 'Got
real likin' fer work?" Sure |"
you'd orter take treatment. IN
dianapolis Journal
Judge b. fell down fight of stairs,
recording his passage in bump on
every stair until he reached the bot
tom. A servant ran to his assistance,
and raising him up said: 81 hope
your Honor is not hurt?" "No, said
the Judge, sternly. "My honor is not
hurt, but my head is.
The latest addition TO Americana
abroad is the smart saying of New
York girl to an T. nglishman who took
her in to dinner. 81 sometimes won
der what becomes of all the peaches
in your country" he said ooh, we
eat what we can, and can what We
can't" answered the ready-tongued
maid. New York Sun.
First Office Boy-"Do you like your
job?" Second Office Boy Nav
The typewriter is thirty-hve, the book
keepers sore cause he can't be a dude
on SS week, the instalment company
took the head clerks bicycle away
from him last week cause he hadn't
paid up on it, and the boss won't let
me whistle anywhere. "-SOmcryille