Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1895-09-05
TALES OF THE TIMES.
Observations OF Jersey city by Dyspcptie
Now Yorker.

frNNturncN ms Set wiue river OetWeeh
New York and Jersey City, This scpa
rates the two most rhnarkahle communi
ties ON this continent by u space of some
what moro than mile In actual distance
In all other essentials tho two places AFRO ~
far separated rs the poles, Jersey City IL
not even suburb of New York, II il
merely n place where persons ON their way
| to tho suburbs have fallen by tho wayside
Jersey City Is divided Into two parts
the heights and the swampS, Those whom
| the gods lovo die young VI malaria or ~
rhoid from the swampS,
Some places IN Jersey City are tougher
| than others, In tho Quietcr places men
carry pistols in their pockets, In the
tougher localities they carry them In their
| hands,
Many Jokes have been made about the
| Jersey City mosquitoes All OF them arc
! true, The mosquitoes COLLECT poison from
the swamps and nooulate newcomers with
| IT, Thanks to this, on tho homeopathic
principle, "Smilia stmilihus ourantur
| some persons escape typhoid and malaria
What u stranger might take for fonders ON
| the trolley cars are not fpndcrs nt all, but
struck, tho mosquito catcher with sud
don twist tosscs It's body from the track
| More mosquitoes than citizens arc killed
| yearly by tho trollcys
There is great deal OF money IN Jersey
| City, Some OF 1t is u homo product not
| redeemahle at par or anything else. Other
| branches OF this industry are tho hunko
| game, tho sawdust bond trick and the gold
| brick enterprise, II must not bc supposed,
| however, that other limos OF business do
| not flourish, There aro faro Joints and
| nickel In tho slot machines ON almost ey
| cry corner Atfahlo gontlemon In checked
clothes who extend tho glad hand should
ho Shuurcd by strangers, and all invita-.
| tions to drink with such should bo firmly
but courtoously declined They aro full
Of financial designs,
The principal outdoor sport Is grabbing
| In tho bay. No visitor can escape II. On
pain of mortally offending his host by de
olining, hn must Rct up at o'clock In tho
morning, take trolley car for some miles
and stand on float In the blazing sun,
| dangling In tho water piece Of meat fas
| tened To string In tho hope that u crab
may taston TO II, II lucky, he may catch
n dozen crabs In mornings work, worth
| In tho aggregate cents In the evening
another form Of sport claims general at
tontion, This Ia whisky poker ut 10 cont
| limit for o u's In tho morning the
pnterfamilias turns over hs q US to the
children to play hare aud hounds with
Street signs are quito unknown. Visit
ors In search Of eny particular place will
| In wall n, nul la SIR "A a tlpiul a tina
| ferry. lilo can usually direct within ton
blocks of any house. Don't ask police,
man A eitlzcn may toll you or ondcay
or to tell you, policeman mover, asked
policeman where n certain institution
was "llow'n'ell dwl KNOB" no replied
urhanely lit amt on my bent, =
Ono Of tho wonders Of tho now world Is
| tho Jersey City watnr, Ii In not blue Ike
the ocean or yellow like tho Schuylkill rir
or poison that phllndulphinns drink, IL Is
green Newcomers buy drinking water
| imported from tho country ut IL cents u
gallon. Tho confirmed inhahitant uses the
homo supply In tho natural M u beverage
and, when boiled, rs food Tho boiled wa
| ter Is called poor mans soup. On tho bills
of fare Of cheap eating houses whore the
customers do not understand French, II
| figures ms congummo do mlerobo and ~
quito popular, The bathrooms aro most
remarkable, Load plummots surround tho
| tub These arc for the purpose Of sinking
| the bnthor, for 40 solid IN the water that u
man will float ON II like u llfo prosorvor
| This winter hns ono advantage namely,
that, aftor drinking II and bathing In IT.
for II few weeks, ono Is exempt from mos
quito bites
The municipal drink Is apploinok IL
costs cents drink, inoludlnga Chaser
Of beer Sometimes IL Is made up into n
mixture called liberty cocktail Only
saloons furnished with ambulance calls
serve this drink,
| told Jersey City man. while no was
In New York, that thought his city the
worst place IN tho United States. with
the beautiful frnnkness characteristic Of
Jersey civilization he replied; you n
liar We're YOU over In Long Island CityY"
Until few years ago Jersey City felt
tho need Of locating herself within the
| limits Of civilization, and on all tho city
bonds she issued tho words. "tho city of
Jersey City, opposite New York, : woro
printed.
A eonnding foreigner once wrote book
about this country on information furnish
cd by his friends. In one place he oh
serves; Across tho North river from Now
York Is II city Of exile called Jersey City
Persons convicted OF small oifenscs are
transported there for brief periods, tho
usual sentence being 80 days, This II
called going up for month. New York
| Sun.
|
/ An Original Epistle.
Hero IL unique letter from rural cor
respondent:
August 10, 1898, In tho year OF our Lord