davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13
about solnothlng

ADout something
 "Yaas, dad was sot. Nam she was sot, too, but not so much as dad"
 What were they sot aboutf"
 We was cOmin to town with the mewl and cart. When VIC got to the railroad, says to dad, Better wait fur the bullgint to whoof along Dad looked at the rail road fur a mint and says to me. 'Durn the hullginc-driyo onP"
 Was there n train comingp"
 Fur shore. Nam took snuff and saiO mebbe we'd better wait, but dad took a ohaw of terbacker and yelled at the mewl. held back, but dad was sot, and we. went ahead"
 And what happenedS''
 Then the mowl got sot, Got right on the middle of the railroad and wouldn' do nuthin but kick. Nam hollcrcd, and
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13

sary Thing to Save Her From an Early What Can He Done.
 lCopyright. i>95. by Charles B. Lewis.l
 Mrs. Bowscr," said Mir. Bowser after dinner the other evening. II have been puzzling OvcE your case for some time, and believe have at last struck the key. note"
 My case' What do you mean'' she asked.
 Why, your being all run down in flesh, Respondent of mind, not able to sleep nights and su cn.
 But hayN not lost an ounce of flesh and am not dcspnndent or troubled with insomuia!" she protested in great surprise.
 Mrs Bow>vr, the loving eye of n hus band cannot he deceived, The change has come so gradual that you have not felt it, but ! have been worried for weeks. have found the remedy. however, and have faith that it will huild you right up.
 What is your remcdyF"
 He went ont into the hall and returned with pap>g hux, On opening the box a toy balloon Luatcd to the ceiling.
 You havv heard of parlor athletics, supposC;' he QucriCd. What you need is parlor athletics You want expansion of the chest shoulder exercise, muscular development of tho limbs. You get 1t all by knocking this balloon about. I will exercise with you, although do not actu- ally need it. You will now get up and punch the balluon."
 II do not think l need any exercise of the kind, she quietly observed.
 But you certainly do. If you run down hill for another month, you will be booked for the Gravcyard."
 II cannot believe that chasing around the room after d balloon Is going to help any ybody'S health Mr. Bowser. wish you would drop all these queer notions"
 Queer notionS!" he shouted as he turned on her. Because I sec you gal loping to the grave and want to save you it's a queer notion, is it:"
 It iS very good and kind of you, Mir. BowsCr, to hc so concerned about my health, hut assure you that am feeling perfectly well and do not need any such excrCiSc
 That's you to n dot! Always opposed to anything l suggest! Mrs. Bowscr, if you wan; to hc a mule and go tu the gravc, I've nothing more to say, Hero are life, health, strvnEth and happiness. but you refuse them Don't blame me when too late."
 T Shan't, and if wcrc ycu wouldn | go pranCing around after that ball and heat yourself up
 Of course nut, Because you can | live a month you don't want me tol Mrs Bow ser, will now give you a practical illus tration of tho health giving qualities of parlor cali>tGcnicS
 II wi$L you wouldn she said as he removed coat. vest and collar and dropped his suspendCrS of his shoulders
 But l wIll A half an hour of this Is better than half dozen prescriptions
 Then you mustn't blame me
 B!an> y W fu- what Blame you ba. cause ! I'E1 going ,o work or this dUlIncsS and feel as ]: eNu!6 !itt rant Now yeu
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13

watch my smoke There is touch of neuralgia in my left shoulder. I shoot out my left hand-thus-fulluw 1t with my right-left agaiu-cNpand my lunSs-left -right-sCc the play of the muscles It's the most beautiful exercise in tho world. I already feel as if I had taken a drink of wino"
 Well, don't smash anything.
 Smash nothing! By striking tho ball you work every muscle in tho back and shoulders. By following it up you bring into play every muscle ot''-
 In lodging around tho center table MT. Bowser struck a chair and went down and rolled over on his back.
 That is part of tho exercise, 1 sup pose'' queried Mrs. Bowser from the cor ner to which shc had retreatcd.
 It Is, or 1t is not, replied MT. Bowser as he slowly got up, That Is what is called q stage fall, and the idea Is to mako the flgure moro supple. You needn't be surprised if fall several times like that"
 Won't you please stop; Seq how you arc shaking the chandelier and everything else in the room. The people next door will think we arc having n war dance in here.''
 The people next door can think what they please. don't propose to go into quick consumption to accommodate the people next door, Watch that ball! Sec therel And there! And therel Mrs. Bow ser, if you want robust health, if you want to fccl''-
 MT. BOwser accomplished two things at Once-he missed tho ball and struck the chandelier and knocked off two globes, and in springins back hc struck the big family rocking chair and went clean over it and lay in a heap on the floor. Mrs. Bowser gathered up the shattered globes. | carried the balloon 10 the window and sent 1t sailing into tho night and then ad- vanccd to MT, BOwser. who lay on his hack glaring Rt the ceiling, and said That was another stage fall suppose, and your GcIre certainly appears more supple!''
 Mir. Bowser turned over, got up with a painful effort and after feeling of his neck to see if 1t was broken he hoarsely ex 1 claimed:
 If you want to kill me why don't you do it with bullet or poisong'
 Why, Mir. Bowser, but what can you means'
 Never you mind! understand! should you wish to go home to your mother until our lawyers can arrange matters, let me know in tho morningl You may also give me your idea as to alimonyl Good night l Mrs. Bowser, good nightl would suggest
 that you resume your maiden name, and
 trust you may have better success ir
 killing your next hushand!'
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13


 she wears silk rohe that falls from her covered with designs of gaudy birds and flowers.
 The legation is in a brownstone building on an eminence overlooking Washington and commanding a beauti- full view of the Potomac. Mme Yang is rarely visible except when tho Chi ncse minister cntertainS or attends some ball or dinner. and she is even deprived of the great joy of going shopping and buying things that have just been mark ed down. All her shopping is done by servants, who select samples, from which she gives her orders. The ladies of the upper class of Chinese, to which sho belongs. never enter store or shop of any kind
 Mime Yang professcS to be very fond of America, but she says the average American seems 10 know very little about China. Sho is charmed, she says. with Washington society, and she and her husband arc very gay members of the diplomatic circle. They attend nu- merous balls, dinners and teas and seem to be amused by their futile efforts to mako themselves understood when an interpreter is not at hand. Very recent. ly the Chinese minister gave ball that was considered one of the great events of the Washington season. About the only fly in the social ointment in Wash ington, so far as they are concerned. is the fact they now and then get uncom- fortably near tho Japanese minister. A meeting is usually avoided. however. owing to tho Chinese minister's prac- tice of going carly and leaving early, while the Japanese minister goes late and remains until the affair is over Mime. Yaag doos not think that Chris tianity is obtaining any hold in China
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13
TIE ENR
TrnIlcr Car WhceIs.

Car wheels do not last long. as the dirt and sand on the rail. together with the almost constant application of tho brakes, have the tendency to wear them out As soon as tho flange becomes sharp or the tread uneven the wheel must be removed. A wheel on Q motor car averages about $50 pounds, is made of chilled iron and will make about 35, 900 miles before it is thrown on the scrap heap. The average cost of wheel is 2 cents per pound. and to replace . wheel costs about s to s. while the old wheels aro taken back at from $l. 10 to $2. 50 apiece. according to weight. Steel tired wheels cost considerably moro money than cast iron. yet they are not very popular, and but comparative ly few are used. even if they last longer in service ce-philadelphi Press
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13
The LnrkN .I.

A Michigan man in Washington not long ago had little experience. He was seated in the reading room of his hotel, lvrLiuS idly ont of the window. when one If the Wa> a>hinEtun contingent Of respectable lOafvrS <auntCrcd in and sat down uvlr him In few moments the newcomer had opened mp a Conver- patton with h:uu, and the Michigan man WAS quItr l.lt, rested i'll the stories told by his H, N avquaintancc-
 By the way. he said aS fine looking ,Ean passed the window, there goeS a Washington millionaire. and his first nanle tcgius with J. Have you ever nUtICesi that ! scene d 10 be a lucky letter in a i,uancial way Take, for in- stance. Iav GoUld, T '. Astor, T. D. Rockciell,E. ] c, Fair. !. w. Mackav. :. G Dtu.ttt, ,JoLn Sherman, q W. Garrett Jun W22aLllktr, James NJ. Milan. J. E. HasSin and q whole lot moro all with a ! somewhere i'll their names, and every man of them with a million or III 'rr.
 "Cm, Well, I never noticed il bc- fore, '' rcplioi the Michigan man. but l see it now very clearly since you have called nay a':.n;ion to it.
 Its quit" remarkable, isn't it:''
 ''Verv. IT r:n 10 wish that my par ents had ,:.v,n ue name with a ] in it"
 Tho o;is,r IArty laughed.
 "I como Un,l,r tho head very nicely. '' he said. My name is James Jay Jacobs
 "You ought 10 be in very good fix, indeed"
 ''I'd consider myself 50 if you'd be kind enough to lend me a dollar till to- morrow. he said. with bow. II was expecting q check tonight, but for some reason it has failed to come, And be- fore the Michigan man could recover his , wits tho other man had the dollar and ! had asked him out to tako a drink with him Detroit Free Press.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13
HE ARIZONA KICKER.
How a New England JournaIIst Proved
 Himself Game.

Two ME> >D A BEAIL-l4ast Friday Mir. O. G Cnr,rr. New England journal ist who carries an cyCSiaSs, parts his hair in the center and writes tho most tender and pathCti& hook reviews of any man liv ing on earth. stopped over here while on his way tu Prescott to pay uS q visit. WhiiC Wr ntNvr Gid bank on man wear ing his hair in that fashion, we gtvr tho strln+;.r a cordial reception and thu free dom uf thv InNn We took him Nut tn OuI private Ernv'>ar.l containing ten last rest ing plu",>. and hp was disappointed ut not finding al l,'Ist d sCurv ut tn!nIl>tunr> We walk, G lh'n Up aud doNn Apache avenue, and t!.uu-h the L,3~ >hut three hnllvtS thIuu-h I- plug Lat hv I,rNvrrvct winCrd. S-tuiGsy morning some rf Ihr hulS came in ll,m Rcd lluu~r creek tu report stIing a lig c.n::. ,.,u2 tear luAtim.. ar,,und at the cru~-!!l.,, .,.!,l Nir tuT;,r ut Jl,Cc CApr ->vd a drsjr, Ia 7: ,,uI and find and pur,Ir the animal Ip Ll- ,t,..lh. llr h,:l EVvvr ~y,n a g1ul'aiiUR .rs:u (u A id state, and We arranged tu .., with him uudvr the hrliIt that a sight ut tn l,ar would jump him clean into t,,h We hiNi a rlyE~o tcI him. lntun:.rl ,u@n,vH H ruuI,' and l,tt town soon 2il,r U'tl On the way through Corhisc ula"- t',, new plus hat which Mir Cartrr h.:l .-.,', "u5 of his trnrk for tho occasIor t-rr}vcI t>o bullets. hut when we locke! tack to see how be took it his countenonce was ns impassive as a pane of Ela>s
 We took the lead, giving our mule free rein and eXncctirg tO soc tho citoto jour nalist lie down in his saddle or roll to the Ground, but 10 eur surprise he stuck like a bur We had offered him a rife and revolvcr hut he refused them and stuck to little sawed od pap which didn seem to have energy enough to tickle n wolf at Is fCCt. The bear was found in tho scrub about half mile atovc tho forl-that Is, he found us We cwcrc still In tho lead and looking for signs of hruin when he sud
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13
rAE MAIDEN AND THg BURGLAR.

She was 0 maiden, coy, but forty, Unsullied by dream of man. No thought however slightly naughty, Had ever crossed her life's short span Till one dark night, when all were sleeping, She found the wretch she long had soughA Fnr underneath her bed lay peepinR 4 poor. lone burglar freshly caught. She locked the door, and, quickly turning, Pulled forth pistol fully cooked, And with a voice that told its yearninR Her prisoners plight she stcrnly mocked- "Now. listen to my ultmatun:
 You've got to marry mo or die. Though you're the very lowest stratum. I'll have a husband or know why" Then Iuse the burglar, sadly speaking: Your proposition docs not suit. Rather than br the man you are seeking, Why. darn you, madam, darn you, shootl"
 Youngstown Tindicator.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13
LOSING AN OPAL.
But You Cant Expect a Man to See
 Through Anything.

Adelaide is a bandit" rcmarkctAShe girl with the black eyes. and told her so as soon as Jim left yesterday"
 "A-a whor" nskrd the blue eyed girl in surpri~r
 II said bandit, hut II substitute high way robber if you prefer"
 Him. I En,r that she sometimes ab- straCtCd other Vcuple'S admirCrs, hut I didn't think she would take anything else ''
 ''Oh. didn't yuu: We'll listen You know that siNcc the list ot January Ade aide and I have ,,ccn roominR together. We have what the laudlady calls two rooms, hut "no Is only n closet large enough tO hold a folding bed. The other Is our sitting as well drCsSinS room. You wruld never guess
 Oh, Yes. would, my dear! I've board sd. You keep your toilet things in book case and Your tea and crackers in q foot stool Don't waste time on that. hut tell me about Adelaide,
 I will Jim ToCkCr has been awIully nice to me this winter He told me tho 5iSer GSy ,AaI the drEl L2d decided to 3ord him ta Mexico to so:t!l sc..c matters for them. He didn ' know iUst.wkeH he would start but l!e would run lip to say gCodhy tu me for SurC.
 Perhaps he will bring you Mexican opal when he comes back
 That was just what thought, l have one, hut l want it set in buckle, and need at least one moro. left the one l had out in full view on purpose to attract his attrrtion But
 Oh, did he call when you wcro out"
 He thought he did. had bECn read ing tho most delightful novel yesterday and was just about to dress for the after noon when heard the bell ring
 And the maid brought him right up to the room Oh, know all about it!''
 ''Shc did. and had barely time 10 hide in tho other room. while Adelaide, who is always vol dreSsod-so vain of hcr-wcni to tho door and told him she was expecting me home any moment. Whatever did you do'" Nothing couldn't even call her tC bring me my new tea gown. for II was in the couch, which is only box. and Jim was sitting on it, Poor Rhoda. It was too bad!' ' Too had-wait' Adelaide made herself perfectly lovely and said so many nicC things that his head was simply turned Then she actually showed him tho Opa and asked if he had ever socn one" | Tho lit;lC Cat!'
 But that wasu' all. She told him il was mine, and she had always cnvied ma so much
 And he promised her one'" "Of course he did. You can't expect man to see through things. And thcro | had to stand on the other side of tho door for didn't dare to let down tho folding bed because of tho grating noise 1t makes and listen to her cxclamations of delight and ratituder'-Chicago Tribune.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13
IN HE iEAn

denly appeared He was close at hand
 He had his mouth wide open and his eyes wrrc shining like electric lights as he came charging down. Our mule boltcd and flung us hnad over heels, and during the next 3O seconds we lay on our back won- dcring how it felt to bo eaton by cinna- mon hear Tho events of our past life hcctcd rapidly before Us, but tho only thing we distinctly remember was feeling sorry that we had lied so terribly about the circulation of THE KICKER \ New York editor in the san:rr ..l wnuld havo felt sorry that he h.G jed twice as hard, but that is one nt the differences between eastern and western journalism. We heard a lisping. drawling voice crying "Shoo"' at the bear, followed by the re- ports of popgun and great thrashing in the brush. and when we sat up it was to see the bear running for his life and the soft and tender book reviewer in full chase. He ran that bear mile and put six bull lets into him and then returned and pattcd the back of our head, and wiped the tears from our eyes, and helped us into posi- ton in which we could imbibe a little whisky to restorc our enthusiasm. When we gasped and gurgled and tried to express our thanks, that wee little chap, with his hair parted in the center, smoothed down our spinal column and said it was a mere nothing-nothing tall.
 We are not only a surprised and heart broken editor. but our opinion of eastern | journalists has undergone such n complete change that We feel tired all uVcr. We knew they had more or less sand In New l England, but had no idea th, any of 1t had ever worked into the craM uf pour nalist. We would have wasar,d THE
 KICKER office against dead rai'nit that | Mir. Carter would have lain right down at | sight of a coyote. and whom we rcnlize l that he saved our life and scared that hrar out of years growth we wipe away "ur
 tears with one hand and apoloi .:c to ev- | erything east Of Chicago with the other, l OBITU Yester1ny we received a
 telegram from Denver announcing tho
 death of Captain Baxter, who had bccR a
 resident of this town for the last two years and the proprietor of the Pioneer saloon.
 The captain came hero from some small
 town in Montana, and while he was no
 tenderfoot in general matters ho was rot
 up on gas and several other articles of ! commerce not to be found In mining
 towns. About e week ago he decided to go to Omaha to get some pointers on run | ming 6 saloon, and whom he so informed
 us we printed for him . card reading;
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13

clIst. -- Dull uluw QnI tne gHsS
 "Secont -Don't try to smother it with
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13
Cut This Out AND
 SAVE TT.

To show how valuable this information is considered tO be Ter the hOusekeeper. the last time we put this in print as an ad. it was copied by an out of town daily as reading matter. We say;
 For Cup of Delicious Tea, the Kettle must be filled with Fresh water and boiled quickly for about five minutes. There will be a sparkle from Tea made from fresh boiled water. that wiH not rc- csiye froA the hot wasr that has been boiled long and repeatedly. Fer moderate strength. il requires one tea spoon of good ten to half pint of boiling water. An ordinary teacap balf full to quart. of W ter Will make a strong aui in fusion for five persons. An eaEtben Cr china pet is the best vessel for drawing tea. Then put she tea in. allowing to heat fcr few minutes. adding the boiling wafer just ten minutes before itis wanted to be poured ouA
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13
\ Word ritly spoken.

Dialogue between q very pretty song stress and famous composer, who has no pretension to pose as bel esprit;
 Tell me. my dear maestro. If you had your choice, which of the two would you prefer-to be blind or deat:
 Deaf, madam, when am looking at you, and blind when hear you sing. Petit Meridional.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13
An InAtanHA.

At the session of the school for noncom- missioned officers of one of the companies stationed at Fort Wayne the following question was asktd of sergeant -: What is strategy, Give mo an instance of it." After studying for Q moment Oi two the sergeant gave tho reply, When in battle, and you are out of ammunition and don't want the enemy to know it, it is good strategy to keep right on firing. " -Argonaut.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13
The Diary of a Lady.

First day On the high seas stormy weather, disaerccahle company.
 Second day Captain very amiable. Made a declaration ot love and offered mo his heart and hand Rejected.
 Third day. Captain returns tO the chargc, Thrnatcus to kill mo, commit sui eide and blow up tho whole vessel with 800 persons, Rejected.
 Fourth day, Saved the lives of 500 per sons.-Tit- Bits.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13

ister to the Unit ed States She is described us 0 vision of orien- tai lovelineSs, '"
 with her black hair piled high upon her head and her face so we'll rouged that each cheek is an island of red in an ocean of yell low. Surmount- ing her hair is 0 gilded fan which extends some dis tanco above her head. When she receives callers,
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13
Wear and Tear.

Arc you writing any moro storiesY'' "No. Two given it up. Too much fric tion."
 Worried you too much, you mean!" No. My manuscript was worn out go- ing through tho mails so much. "-Atlan. fn .Innrnnl
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13
nroke In the Meeting.

Mir, Rasp-Well, my dear, did the Emancipation club decide on their candi- datcSE
 Mrs, Rasp-Oh, my, must hurry right back. Somebody started to talk about the church fight, and we adjourned without making any nominations.-Pitts Dis patch
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13
A ssuned Skeleton.

Don John of Austria. Staveley tells us. governor of the Netherlands, dy. ing in his cainp at Nemours, was car ried from thence to the great church at Havre, where his funeral was solemn ized and monument erected to him by the Prince of Parma His body was aft erward taken to pieces. and the bones. packed in mails. were privately carried into Spain. where. being set together with small wires. the body was rejoint- ed again, and. beiLg stuffed with cotton and richly habited, Don John was pre- sented to the king entire, leaning on his commanders staff" It was the grew some custom in Spain to set up the corpse of its king in state and to have him waited upon as though he were alive. London Illustrated News
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13
Total Ignorance.

"Poor Jenny! IL must be an awful shock to yOu. sympathized her friend. And think that you trusted your hus- hard all thcss years while ho was ,Im, bezzling such enormous sums
 Yes" she sobhed. II knew my mil linery alonu came to more than his sal ary, but never suspected him of suck an act. Tit Bits.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13
The Real Trouble.

Mrs, Witherby-I wish you would be more particular, Henry, when you are iD company.
 Withorby (savogely)-Dont you con. slider that have good mannersi
 Mrs, Wi;Ac-by-Ycs dear, but q rec, memory New York World
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13
Indlsncnsahle Now.

''Jant,.~" called out FwCddy to his man. hWing mo a chair to stand on. l am going to put on mo ovacoat "-Chi- caSo Tribune.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13
No Autograph Fiend.

Can I write my name under tho re- ceivcd payment on this billE" asked the collector who likes to put things as deli cately as possible.
 No. thank you, replied Mir. Brokcly I'm no autograph fiCnd. .''-Washington Star
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13
Cruel.

Miss Sil slcwun-What a hateful thing Lyddy White l.!
 Mis- Th:ngummy-why, what has sh. been saying HOW!
 Miss SIng!vwun-I just happened to sa! shed never seq +5 again, and she said, Not when look at you. ''-Boston Tran. script
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13
Strcc. Car Manners.

Jonts-I gave my place to a lady q rhe street car this morning.
 Bruwn-What did she say
 JonCs-Thanks; no.
 Brown-Ah' They usually say nc thar ks Detroit Free Press.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13
A nor,estIc Scene.

Lady of the Hoase-My dear. have you lit the fire:
 The Husband of the HOuse-Ies, my dear.
 Lady of the HoUse-NOw. don't burn the biscuits this time, and be sure and beat the steak tender. I'm going to the suffrage meeting. and I expect some friends home with me!-Atlanta ConSti- tuition.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-02-13
A Tenant For Life.

Have you boarded long at thi' house:" inquired tho new boarder of the sour, dejected man sitting next to him, "Aboat ten years.
 'I don't see how you can stand it, Why haven't you left long ago?''
 "No other place to go " said the oth CT dismally. "Ths landladr's my wifs- .