davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22
Needs of Local Charities.

Information received from Harrisburg
is to the effect that the appropriations
committee of the house has decided to
| report in favor of giving to the Carbon
dale hospital the full amount, $4,000
sought for it by Representative oMal-
ley. Only four requests out of the many
which have come before the committee
have been thus favored fact which
speaks well for Mr.. O'Malley's steward
ship.
The Carbondale hospital however
fully deserves this generous corsidera-
tion. 1t is one of the best, neatest and
most serviceable institutions of its kind
in the anthracite region, and Scran-
tonians can consistently proffer to their
friends in the Pioneer City cordial con-
gra atuations upon this happy recogni-
tion.
AT the same time, it must remain a
matter of profound regret that the ap-
preparation committee has not seen lis
way clear to more liberal treatment
of the charitable institutions of Scran-
ton. It's sla3h!ng of the Oral school ap-
preparation in particular Is most deplor-
able, and If not corrected must almost
inevitably involve a regrettable curtail-
ment of that excellent schools useful
ness. with no wish to underrate the
merits Of other institutions, we think 1t
least, the legislature is in danger of
making a serious mistake.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22


the alert business men Of Pennsylvania
to make q valuable bid for more inti-
mate commercial relations with the
people OF the southern states The
Pennsylvania exhibit atAtlanta should
be of such a character as not only to
attract favorable attention from
Americans, but also to appeal to the
shrewd agents who will be present
Money prudently expendedin this man.
ner rarely fails to bring good returns;
and the South is the section in which
future development promises to be
most brisk.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22
That Absurd Apportionmenr

The present senate bill reapportion-
Ing the state into congressional dis
tricts commits two manifest injustces
entirely apart from its gratuitous yol-
ing of Lackawanna with Susquehanna
1t slaps the Republicans of Wayne
county fatty in the face, By consign-
ing them to the hopeless oblivion in
volved in a union with Democratic
strongholds like Pike. Northampton,
Carbon and Monroe; and Il repays the
splendid work of the Republicans of
Schuylkill county by throwing upon 1t
the wet blanket of an unnatural alli-
ance with Democratic Columbia. In
each of these cases, nothing would be
gained by the suggested change; and
much would be lost.
But the crowning error of this alb
surd reapportionment bill is found in
its treatment of the present Eleventh
congressional district, which was al
tered unknown to the senator from
this district, Mr.. Vaughan, who Is a
member of the committee having the
bill in charge, and is persisted in
against the expressed desire of nearly
every leading Republican in Lacka-
wanna county. 1t is no reflection upon
Susquehanna county to say that in a
congressional sense it has almost moth
ing in common with Lackawanna. Its
interests are agricultural; Lackawan-
mas are wholly Industrial It's popula-
tion is stationary; Lackawanna's is
growing rapidly. No bond Of common
interest would unite the two counties;
and an alliance between them now
would doubtless have to be severed at
the next reapportionment, because the
district then would probably far exceed
in population even the new ratio.
The three counties of Schuylkill. Lu-
zerne and Lackawanna, representing
almost the whole of great fuel indus
try in whose prosperity every Ameri-
can Is interested, amply deserve their
present representation in congress. The
attempt to interfere with that repre-
sentation is as impolitic as it IS unnec-
essary and unsolicited. We call upon
the representatives of these counties at
Harrisburg to unite in a protest against
the senate committees unwarranted
attack upon the existing order of
things. The matter Is too important to
be thus lightly juggled about. without
consultation with the people directly
Interested.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22
WISE AND OTHERWISE.

Sometimes the courteous politician over
reaches himself. This was evidently the
case with the "wefl-known congressman
concerning whom the Youths Companion
tells this story: The congressman in ques-
ton who had been farmer before he went
into politics, was visiting his district not
long ago, and in his rambles he saw man
in stumpy patch of ground trying to get
plow through it. He went over to him
and, after a brief salutation, asked the
privilege of making a turn or two with
the plow. The native shook his head
doubtfuly as he looked at his visitors
store clothes and general air of elegant
leisure, but he let him take the plow. The
congressman sailed away with 1t in fine
style and made four or five burrows before
the owner of the field could recover from
his surprise. Then he pulled up and hand
cd the handles to the original holder. by
gravy, mister" said the farmer, admir-
ingly. "air you in agricultural busi-
ness?' NO" laughed the statesman.
"Y' amt sel!in' plows?" NO" "Then
what in thunder air you?" I'm member
of congress from this district" "Air you
the man | voted for and that I've been
readin about in the papers doin' legislatin'
and sich in Washin'ton?" yes" "Well,
by holSey, mister" said the farmer. as lie
looked with admiration over the recently
powed burrows. "ef I'd a had any idea
that | was votin' fer a waste of sich good
farmin' material I'd voted for the other
candidate as shore as shootin'"'
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22
lentist's I'd have to stay at home to my
wife's 8 O'Clock tea"-Life.


dentists I'd have to stay at home to my
wife's o'clock tea."-Life.
Impresario (engaging singer)-"We will
treat you with every consideration.
madam, and assure you you will have no
one to quarrel with" Prima Donna with
decison)- l Just won't take the
engagement."-Life.
"But how do you stand on the financial
problem" asked her paternal relative.
"Oh. the money Of the fathers is good
enough for me-" answered the prospect
i've sonin-law.-Albany Argus.
Farmers Wife Ito tramp)-"Why don't
you work." II should like to work.
marm." said Weary William, the wayside
wanderer; "but. yer see. have been hyp-
noticed by feller what won't let me do o
stroke."-Answers.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22

Kate Field pays one Of the handsom.
est of possible tributes to Admiral
Meade when she says: II have never
known more ardent American" 1t
is because he is an American that un-
der this denationalized administration
he is no longer an active admiral.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22
Tribune is for Sale Daily at the D, l.. and W.
Station at Hoboken.
SCRANTON, MAY %, 1895.

Tho American people, from tradition
and interest, FAVOR BIMETALLISM, and
the Republican party demands the use Of
BOTH GOLD AND SILVER AS STANDARD
MONEY, with such restrictions and un.
der such provisions. to be determined by
legislation. as will secure tho maintcn.
ance of the parity of values OF the two
metals. SO that the purchasing and debt.
paying power Of the dollar, whether Of
silver. gold or paper, shall be ut all times
equal."-Rcpublicau National platform
limo 1900
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22
Whitewashing the Sultan.

Rear Admiral Kirkland, commanding
the European squadron, has sent to the
navy department at Washington an ex-
tended report upon the recent Armenian
massacres. He has ascertained from
casual talks with various consular Off
cials that If there were any massacres
in Armenia, they were not so black as
they have been painted; and they oc-
Cured, if at all, unknown to the sultan
and contrary to his desire.
All this is interesting; but it cen hard
ly be deemed important. Testimony as
good as Admiral Kirklands and a good
deal more direct, has been adduced in
proof that the alleged massacres did
occur; that they were frghtful satur-
nalias of lust and ferocity; and that, If
the Turkish authorities did not openly
encourage their commission, they at
least were wholly powerless to enforce
law and maintain order.
The question for civilization to de-
termine is not what some half-dozen
consular officials scattered along the
Turkish coast think of the sultan. but
whether government which utterly
fails to protect its citizens against wan
ton rapine, cruelty and assassination is
sufficiently in unison with modern ideas
to be allowed to continue on its in
competent way. Admiral Kirkland's
report to the navy department hardly
touches the real issue.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22

The British admiral who claimed that
England's recent seizure Of Corinto put
an end to the Monroe doctrine Is re-
commended not to make that state
ment after March 4, 1897.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22
TOLD BY THE STARS.
Daily Horoscope Drawn by Ajacchus, The
Tribune AstrOlOgcr.
Astrolabe cast 2.45 a. m. for Wednesday,
May 22, 1895.

Moon rises 2.35 q. m.
II is safe to remark that theme of the lay
OF u child that's poetical. born on this day,
VIII be, as his countenance tlngles with
pain,
II wonder If summer Will e'er come
again?"
The man who says ''is 1t hot enough for
you?" still has frog In his throat.
There Is something in the atmosphere
that indicates that 1t Is a trife early yet
to predict who will carry Pennsylvania 8
Republican delegates in his vest pocket
at the next national convention.
Regard for the naked truth compels
the assertion that Mr.. Davis has an all
round gilt-edged attraction in his living
statuary entertainment.
Ajacchus' Advice.
Avoid ice water
Sit by the fire.
DO not attempt to corner" palm fans.
Shun lawsuits. Remember that the final
decision of the highest bench Is at times
as uncertain as the verdict of Sullivan
county jury.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22

Whatever may have been Mr.. Cleve-
lands secret hopes, his treatment of
Admiral Meade puts the finishing touch
on the mausoleum of his political fu-
ture.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22

the average woman is longer by several
months than that of the average man.
Perhaps these inequalities would not
exist Of we should admit fewer un-
qualified male immigrants from Europe.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22

The knocking out of the income tax
will prove welcome relief to thousands
of apprehensive journalists.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22

This congressional district Is already
safely Republican, and the Cleveland
administration is rapidly, making 1t
safer.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22

Il is an interesting discovery Of the
last census that in 16 out Of 2S of our
leading cities the males outnumber
the females; while in the whole country
there were. 1906, $3.50 males to only 3O,-
554,370 females. And yet, the life Of
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22

Secretary Herbert Is probably the
only ex-Confederate who would care to
take the initiative in lecturing patriot
like Admiral Meade on loyalty.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22

Robert Il. Lincoln made fairly good
cabinet minister. but he VIII propaDiy
never be asked to serve as president.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22

The household goods of John and
Marian Manola Mason have just been
forcibly sold by auction in Boston: but
1t Is hoped that the sale did not include
the home-like domicile Of Fritz Ko-
bus" whose geniality and winsome
charm have carried sunshine to thou
sands,
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22
NOT WORTH THAT:

"a penny for your thoughts!" she cried
To the dudeling by her side,
Then she stopped to reconsider
And her calm reflection bid her
Not to cling
To a bargain quite so rash;
So she spoke up like flash:
Hold That's what bad habits bring
In my eXtravagant way
/ always do pay
About two prices for thing!'
Exchange.
Here Is a story, though he did not tell 1t
himself, that went the rounds of the New
York clubs when Harry Furniss, the cele-
brated English caricaturist, visited the
states two years ago. Be 1t known that
American journalists and American fan
eurs read Punch as a production abso-
lutely devoid of humor. Two men were
quarreling violently in club smoking
room. II tell you i saw a man sitting
hore an hour ago laughing over a copy of
London Punchp "Impo3sible.' replied
his companion. II don't believe there Is
q man in America who could laugh over
London Punch" The discussion waxed
furious and at last bets were made on the
subject. Suddenly a thought struck the
second man. What was the fellow like
you saw reading Punch?" "A little,
sandy-bearded man, with a rather bald
head and a big mustache" "Ah!' replied
his interlocutor, NOW I see. Why, that
was Harry Furniss himself"
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22

The Philadelphia Inquirer imagines
that Thomas c. Platt is mot as dead
as his enemies wish" Mr.. Platt is un-
doubtedly a good Slayer; but 1t is
doubtful If he can long survive the loss
of popular confidence.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22

Wouldit not be we'll on the part of the
senate committee on congressional re-
apportionment to take the trouble to
consult with the representative citizens
of this district before summarily yoking
another county to Lackawanna? Or Is
that committee desirous Of discourage
ing Republican progress?
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22

What do all this stuff about woman
suffrage meanT" little Danny Grogan
asked, looking up at his paternal parent
from the morning paper. ''It means. I"
said Mr.. Grogan, that pretty soon no
man will be allowed to vote except the
women."-Cincinnati Tribune.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22
LOCATED AT LAST:

"Sience is golden" remarked the man
who loves to quote.
Are you sure of that?" asker Mr.. Meek
ton, ray of interest lighting up his de-
jected countenance.
Certainly"
well, that's the first intlmation ever
had of my wife's politics. She is in favor
of free coinage of silver. Washington
Star.
The queen of Italy is an excellent musi-
clan, whereas King Humbert displays but
little artistic taste and has certainly no
ear for music. OF late the queen has been
compelled to use spectacles when reading
The first time her husband-who detests
them-saw her wearing a pair, he ex-
claimed: "Margherita, take off those
glasses"' But the queen laughingly re-
fused to obey; and the king, having ex-
hausted his powers of persuasion, at last
said solemnly: "Margherlta, If you don't
put away those glasses, / shall start sing
ing" The effect of this simple threat was
magical. Rather than listen to the false
notes of her spouse the queen instantly
gave way.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22

Dora-"How do you like my new Slip
pers?" Cora-"rhey're sweet! I shall have
to get pair like them" Dora--"I am
afraid you are too late. When got these
yesterday there were no larger slices left. I"
Answers.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22

Goodnight, Mrs. Prown. I haf to sank
you for de most pleasant efening 1 haf
effer schbent In my life!' ooh, don't say
that. Herr Schmidt" "Ach! bot do say
dat! 1 always say dat!'-Punch.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22

Moberly-"You look pretty happy for a
man whose on his way to the dentist to
have two teeth extracted" Hanson (with
great joy)-"You see. II didn't 60 to the
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22

He: "Can you give me any good reason
for liking these impresslonist pictures. ~
She: Eyes, indeed; they can be hung
either side up with equally good effect."-
Answers.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22
$50
REVERSIBLE:


queer little boy who had been to school
And was up to all sorts of tricks,
Discovered that when upside down,
Would pass for the figure G.
SO when asked his age by good old dame.
The comical youngster said
I'm when stand on my feet like this.
But when I stand on my head!"
The American.
A novelty In bicycles has appeared on
the Gotham boulevards, and may. in due
time. be expected in Scranton. The Pitts
burg Dispatch thus describes 1t: at was n
three-wheeler. one In front and two behind
carrying phaeton-like body, which Ia
pered like fashionable shoe, Just under
the saddle provided for the muscular
power provider. Beneath the canopy over
the hind wheels the complaisant owner
and his wife-or perhaps, his best girl
sat as comfortably as In coupe. The
hired man on the cyce-rigged forepart
was clad In wheeling livery and with an
parent ease furnished the motive power
Cog chains on either side of the bike
proper carried 1t to the rear hubs of the
wheels behind, and on the level n speed
sufficient to keep ahead OF ordinary vehi-
cles was attained. 1t was genuine cycle
carriage. and was enjoyed by all. except
Ing. perhaps, the big fellow who worked
the forward pedals"
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22

In the Coming Time-First New Woman
That Mrs. Umphry is horribly lacking In
manners. Second New Woman--What's
the matter? First New Woman-I saw
her in a street car the other day, when a
number of gentlemen entered, and she
never offered to give up her seat to them.
Chicago Record.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22

Harry-We met. Twas IN crowd
Belle-Much of a crowd? Harry-Well
her mother was there.-The American.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22

The English papers never tire of printing
the following joke, which was old even II
George Washington's day: In st. Paul.
one day a guide was showing an American
gentleman round the tombs. THAT sir,
said the man, "his the tomb Of the creates
naval 'ero Europe or the whole world eve
knew-Lord Nelson's. This marble sar
cough-hogus weighs forty-two TONS Hin
side that is a steel receptacle, weighing
twelve tons, and hinside that Is leader
casket, 'ermetically sealed, weighing two
tons. Hinsde that is a mahogany coffin
'olding the hashes of the great 'ero.'
WELL" said the Yankee, after thinking
awhile. II guess you've got him. If he
ever gets out of that, telegraph me at my
expense"
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22

Hell think your family name is such a
fine one. She-Do you? I'm beginning to
get dreadfully tired Of 1.-THE American.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22
EMBARRASSING:

"A young lady was taking her nephew,
aged years. by train, when gentleman
whom she knew entered the same COM
partment.
After vainly endeavorlng to make friends
with the baby boy, the gentleman said:
well, Will you give me a kiss?' The
baby looked from him to his auntie as he
answered:
mo, baby won't; but auntie will"
Foreign Exchange.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22
A CONDENSED MOVE.
-

He was asking the old man for his daugh-
ter in marriage. He was talking trem-
blingly, hesitatingly. as you read of In
story books. and the scene was full of
color, SO far as an irate father and a
nerveless young man could make 1t. 1t
came the old mans turn to speak, and
as he began his face was white with pas.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22
JUST IN JEST:

II would die for 'passlonately ex
claimed the rich old suitor; and the prac
teal girl calmly asked him: How soon p
-Somerville Journal.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-22

sion. and his voice shook with excitement.
you want my daughter?" he said. "Ah,
now Is the time for my revenge. Twenty
years ago your father almost ruined me
In a business matter, and / swore to be
revenged. And now my time has come"
He paused for breath. and the aspirant
for the maiden's hand was about to beat
hasty retreat in the face Of supposed
defeat, when the father broke forth again:
"Yes, sir, swore to be revenged, and now
I'll strike the father through the son.
Want my daughter, eh? Well, take her,
and may she prove as expensive to you
as she Is to me-" The old man dropped
into his chair worn out with the excite
ment of his plot, and the young man
fainted.-London Answers.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1895-11-30
APPREHENDeD BY CHANCE
And Arrested for the Murder OF Edward
Drake Last October.

CHICAGO, Nov. 26.-John w. Fletcher,
alias Red" who is wanted by the
Texas authorities for killing Edward
Drake, is locked up at the Central
station. lie was captured at Contra
liza, H., by coincidence of names and
the clever strategy OF Detective We'll
basky, of Chicago.
The detective was sent to Centralia
Saturday to arrest Wm. Fletcher, alias
Dunlap, who killed Fred Finsler, a
milkman, July, 90, 1894. When he
reached the Prell house he imme-
diately recognized the fugitive from
Texas. lie read him the warrant for
the arrest of VIM. Fletcher. Fletcher
was outwitted and took no exception
to being arrested on the warrant for
another man. Welbasky was familiar
with the Texas murder from reading Il
circular sent to the Chicago police by
the chief of police of Sulphur Springs,
Tex
Drake was murdered at that place
by Fletcher on October 1G last. Both
men were Chicago gamblers. Drake
had borrowed II slot machine from
Fletcher with the avowed intention of
having one made like it. Instead OF
this he took tri ip over the country,
using the machine for gambling pur
poses at county fairs, Fletcher was
soanprv that hu fnllo,yn1 him M and
on first sight Shot him dead. The
prisoner is held for the arrival of the
Texas officers.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1895-11-30

A few miles north of Center, Ala,
resided w. H. Walker and his family.
According to an account from Center
Walker had been in the habit OF get
ting drunk and going home to abuse
and curse his wife and two children.
When he was on these sprees he was
very violent, and oftentimes his
wife had to fee from home to save her
life. The other evening he went home
in drunken condition and proceeded
to follow out his usual programme.
He was unusually boisterous, and after
cursing his wife he told her that he in-
tended to kill her and one Of the chill
dren. She started for the home OF her
sister, short distance away, taking
the precaution to take a pistol with
her. Walker followed, cursing and
threatening to take her lie.
AS she reached the door Of her sis
ter's residence, she turned and saw her
husband enter the gate intent upon
carrying out his threat. Worked into
fury by the past insults and injury
the man had heaped upon her, and
driven to the extreme by his present
attitude, she raised the pistol and
fired. Walker fell dead at her feet.
No arrest has been made. They were
both about so years old, and have three
married and two single children.