The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1895-02-21
NORTHINGTON ADVANCE.
February Fl, 1896.
Aunt .Jernshy Goes to the Mems
ss35j .@l IA! .z VI @7 Social.

wus a settin' in Sary AIMS settin'
\ room with about as mulch as a bush
M el-basket full ov Johns and the
youngsters socks and stockin's await
lin fur me with CRATE gapin mouths at
4 heels and toes. Sary AIMS IA CRATE
hand fur all sorts ov fancy stitches
like Kensinton stem. long and short
1 and outline, but nary d darn stitch
will she take in the stockins. lIhls
\ is Sub Rosy.
All at onct the dore bell went a
tinklin'. and Sary Ann had arter-
u noon caller in the front room, and
while WIS darnin' away, l herd:
MEMS sochul," All the cookin','
'sNo wimen in it" "Oh my" ''Oh
DEAR" ''Such fun ''Such mess
"Oh! all! ha, ha, ha.'
Ny curiosity riz wonderful.
I'm goin,' says as soon as Sary
cum in from the front dore, I'm a
COIN to see sum ov the conceit taken
+ out ov 'em, for they haint got it out
ov 'em yet, even tho the Lord did
give Adam a settin' down in the gar
ding, when he was Il tryin' to lay the
blame all onto Eve, and if they don't
cit it taken out of 'em tryin' to feed
a lot oy folks who haint hardly ct
enything all day so as to git their
moneys worth at a church sochul, |
miss my CESS.
It was hard waitin fur the time
to come, l wus that GURUS. but it
cum at last, and Sary Ann had on
her lemon yeller silk checker, and l
had on my best black bombazine,
and we wus on the way.
We got there quick enuff; my rizin'
curosoity helped along my rhoomi
tisiky ankel wonderful, and the fust
thing we knowed we wus inside. and
a man with his hair combed pomp-a-
p. dore fashen, and gold spectickles on
his nose said cleft gin him one
SCARE, cuttin' glance, but Sary Ann
pulled me along by the sleeve, and /
hadn't time to say: "Young man. or
old one, whichever you be, if you
think cum here to mite to git left
YOU don't know as mulch as you
think you due; maby you'll git left
! yourself"
By this time we cum to a nuthe1
4 dore. Here wus nuther man with a
air distinkue-as the Frenchman
says-and sandy moustache. Says
he real kind ov perlite: :Have you
!. been waited one" It was on my ton
CUES end to say: mister. what's
your name? Ebeneezer waited on me
nigh on to six years before he popped
the question, but since then I've been
waitin on myself purity mulch ov the
time,' when I seed he wus a helpin'
Sary off with hur fur coat and over
shoes, and I knowed what he wus
Their fur. l got my over shoes off aw-
full quick, wus that scarf fur fear
he'd cum snd yank away at my rhoo-
mitisikv ankel.
got cheer and sot as near the
dore ov the room where they WIS a
dom the cookin' as [ dared. They
had sort ov look that sed as plain
as words: THUS fur and no further"
watched a sort ov a motherly wo-
man as she wus a maxim ov hur way
up to that dore. and l heerd her say
to man inside with night cap on
his head: ''Is that SO that you're
nearly out ov bread?" He riz nearly
five inches in his boots and said, with
a voice as full ov condesenshun as a
dog is ov fees: "Bread. Bread, imy
good woman, we've got oceans Of
bread" That woman went Away
! with the idee that inside there some
where they had a place where the
bread growed on stalks the same as
ear ov corn does.
AFTER while man got up that
had for'ed like Daniel Webster, and
thumped little with his fist. and
sed, keep STILL" nuther man that
\ had a better opinion ov hisself than
had, said: "Oh, them women; they
havn't any thing else to do, SO they
VI just buzz and gable like lot o,
h gees
Purity soon a young man got up il
# meetin' and read a pome. He sed h
didn't rite it hisse]f, but man nam
ed Will did. l want to thank tina
u man named Will fur tellin' how the
wus man so mean onct that sed hi
SSss e., Il ;In,% kpoxu ouuf IN drive c0ue