The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1895-06-18
HOW JACK PROPOSED

NV N1Ss ps OeShs
himself into my most comfortable easy
chair, and looking the picture of mis-
cry. "It's not a bit Of usel"
"What isn't?" l asked.
Trying to propose to her" replied
Jack.
"Why isn't it,"
Because I can't" moaned-or,
rather howled-the poor boy, savagely
kicking my waste paper basket over.
"Why can't your"
Because l haven't enough pluck"
Haven't you@'
"Oh, confound your q%uestions!'
yelled Jack, tumbling right backward
in his desperation. Its bad enough to
be frantically in love with the most
beautiful girl who ever lived, and not
possess the courage enough to put the
question, without having to submit to
the cross examination of a Johnny who's
reading for the bar and wants to get
practice in b~ullyragging witnesses. l
tell you. l won't answer your Internal
questions. Isay, r" concluded Jack stand
ing up, and looking like one of the
witches in Macbeth, - II won't SUBJ
NIT to it!'
"All right, old man, all right" l
said soothingly. Nobody wants you
to-"
"The fact is, said Jack, sitting down
again and assuming a sepulchral tone,
IF don't bring it off, 1'll-I'll''-
"What?''
"I'll die Of felo-de-se."
This was being legal with a venge-
ance. Here was my dear chum-six
months since the brightest, happiest,
merriest fellow in London-deeply in
love with a young person called Cissy
Il don't to this day know her other
name, Jack never mentioned it), and
in the depths of despair because he
couldn't bring it off, if I may use
his own terse ~phraseology. We held
conversations of this sort about six
times a day on an average, but never
before had he threatened to
1T shall be either by pistol or rope
growled Jack hoarsely, and for the mo-
ment l believe he was thoroughly in
earnest.
thought I'd try the cynical, man of
tho world method and scoff him out of
his foolishness, SO / said:
Fancy being knocked over in this
way by a pulling girl, o weak, silly
creature, who isn't even a new WON.
AMI
Jack wa all on fire in q moment.
she's 10 q weak, pulling, silly crea-
ture, and she is q new woman" he
shouted, forgetting for the nonce that
it is not altogether a desirable thing to
be in love with that feminine novelty.
$50 nowv'
Internationally l may ask, Why is
it that people always end up defances
Of this kind with those mystic words,
$50 now" Why is itD
Jack" I said, write to her."
Splendid ideav' said Jack, who had
been thinking of different ways of pro-
posing for six months and now hailed
that Of doing it by post as an entirely
n and original idea. Here goes, and
thanks awfully, old chap, for giving me
the tip
Selling quite a quire Of %notepaper
Jack scrubbed and tore up about a doz-
en- proposals in writing. Then he turned
round, almost crying, and said that he
couldn't do it that way, and he wouldn't,
and he'd hang himself, and perhaps
then she'd be sorry, and-and-and-
why was he born?
My dear boy" l said, laying my
hand on his shoulder in the most father
ly way imaginable, let's talk over the
matter quietly. Now, suppose l propose
for you?"
NO" said Jack. "She'd think l
was afraid to ask her myself and refuse
me on the spot. No. l won't write, and
l won't do it by proxy. Isn't there some
other way? Why don't you suggest
something. You great. long idiot, in
stead OF sitting there and grinning all
night:"
Now, ! wasn't grinning, and l had
been suggesting things all the time, SO
naturally l felt much hurt. l therefore
curled up and was silent.
For some time Jack smoked savagely
without speaking a word. After about
20 minutes OF this he laid down his pipe
and began in a very ~apologetic tone:
II say"
"Well:"
Cant You think Of any other way of
proposing?"
Wear a flower which means 4 love
you A pansy o. crocus or something.
Then, If she wants you, she'll wear one
meaning, Your sentiments are recipro.
cated.'"
Don't think much of that way, " sale
Jack. KNOW any other?"
Now, ! have never been in love il
my life. and never intend to be, and &c
l found it rather hard to give Jack ad,
vice. However, ! racked my brains and
at length evolved this startling method
Propose to her through her father!'
"Oh, yon hopeless mass Of imbecil
ity!' yelled Jack, bouncing up ant
grabbing his hat. "How am l to do tina
i when she hasn't got q father"
And he flung himself out Of the o
in q towering passion and did not com,
near me again for quite a period. Well