The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1895-04-30
PITII AND POINT.


herself irresistible and then orders
man to keep his distance. = Galveston
News.
Hicks-"Gray says that he owes
everything to his wife. Wicks-"Ob,.
no, that can't be. He owes me S10. nm
Boston Transcril !"
She-"Do you RI, -et all the love
you have lavished on her?" Rejected
Lover-"No; but l regret all tho
postage stamps. "-Somerville Journal
Teacher Ito cambridge street boy)
Now, if you have meal at IL
o'clock, what do you call itY'
Luck" said the boy. Philadelphia
Record.
Wife (at brealSfast -'l didn't hear
you when Won came in, last night. y"
Husband 81 guess that's the reason
didn't hear you. Philadelphia In .
quirer.
Old Lady-'I want thermome-
ter" What grade do you
wish?" Old Lady-'About seventy
degrees would suit me. "-Philadel T
phia Record.
An accompanist at a concert should
\ ui"hNS Blug oOltiy' SASSPbinB, VI
course, in the cases where it Is mercif
full to drown out the soloist. -Somert
/ Vile JGslrnal.
"Mammn," said little Elsie, rs theS,
family circle was discussing ncquaint9
ances, 81 know two men; Que is GEM
tlemen, and the other is papa. "-Ad.
ans Freeman.
few nights ago farmer WENT
homo late and drunk pint of yeast in ;
mistake for buttermilk. He rose three
hours earlier the next morning Me.
dina Tribune.
Phamliman, whose crockery bill, v
thanks tc the efforts of his maid of OH
work, is excessive, says that what is
needed in his house is o cup defender. y
Boston Transcript.
Glow many children have You be.
sides Teddy?" Mamma-"Well, any
where from fifteen to twenty sinc1
Teddy has had his new pony ant,
cart. '-Chicugo Inter Ocean. -
Excited Passenger Captain, viii
/ you weather the Storm" Captain
CTS doubtful; but don't let that
bother yOu-every member OF tbs,
crew can swim!"-Rochester Post-E j.
/ press. a.
Pawson Ito stranger at Mrs. De
Noos reception) -"Who is this Mrs
| De Noo?' Strauger-"Sh is Mr.. DIP
Noos wife. " Pawson -"And who os
earth is De Noo?" Stranger "a. ~
Tit-Bits.
''Now, here IS n furnace that wet
guarantee to be simple enough for the
average servant to run" I'm What
you need is one taat will run in spite =
of tho average servant. Smith, Gray
& Go. 3 Monthly.
"Where's the other one?" askei 90
Aunt Mandy, after n long look at til
Aubrey Beardsley picture. 9Th
other one?' said her niece. "Yaa'u
Where's the after talin'? INDIAN,
npolis Journal.
"But truth will out at last, MUIR
INJURED the shoemaker es the cosietgn-
young lady left his shop an hs pre-.
pared 10 make her SO ne number three
shoes from uumber five measurements =
-RockIand TrlbuG
The hen is n cheerful bipel. Sh6
will sit unruflied on n china egg Il, ~
three successive weeks md then comrlo
ont into the barnyard aud serenely il
form the farmer that no needs hair
cut Aiams Freemal.
e-'I have no wealth. Oars wi, Z
have to be case OF 1--we in n fat n n
She-'runt will be delightful IWn
love rom1nce. You can be my oy''
true hero, and protect me from tp
IlnitOr. New York Weekly. -
She tin the box)-"I wonder wetst
that MAJ over there ia the orches,n rs
d.? lie never smiles when the eAnl
ence rOars, but ia stea looks souf f.
He with her) de must b. dc ii,
matte critic "-Syracuse Post g,
The smallest book in tue world
seems has just been prolucsl,
Paris. Lots OF men whJ have 5s rs
trying to square of new yeah biz go
have Ill along thought that they pc doc
sessed 1t. Rooklaud Tribune. e
Little Sister Any nsy stuio"
this term?" Little Brother -"Ons nseI
clocutiou whats that?' SCI -
lrarnin how to read tnin 50 1tE,
s'un as II yoI was at tho o,hor e We
OF n drain-pipe. '--Gool New jund'
"Nhat is that younz mauRsy O..
trving 20 do" Ill a., Soart"k,m it,
came from t1o couatry. "Hos ltfls
,stiu his v0ic5, rep)hl tbsi' - te 5,
hotrjer "tiJsli / don't see lS'
he's dOin' thst fJr. / should've u zen p
he'd want it to gros, De Yrkcnt by
tress. vi
fbi cbo