The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-11-23
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.


fine morning when the birds are twitter-
ing and the sun is shining and you feel
your dignity and importance in the world
and give a merry little ring that seems to
say, How am l as a lord of creation,
anyway" and the girl answers you.
You lean against the transmitter with
your left elbow; your right arm is akin DO
and one foot is tipped up on it's toe
across the other
Hello, Central" you say in pleasant.
Eociable tone, "How are you this morn
ing? You are looking we'll"
Number please" says Central
There is something about this that you
don't just like but you don't know what
it ia SO you say:
'SEh? Oh, yes, seven twenty two. Nice
day isn't it,"
What number did you sayf"
"Oh, never mind the number. / have
MT time to look it up. Give me Jonrs'
crematory."
lyon haven't time to look it ups Did
you say that?" X
There is something about Central's
tone as she says this that leads you to
believe that you have been guilty of tri-
fling aud you change the position Of your
feet and say, with an effort to be firm and
friendly:
That's what 1 said" Maybe you
choke some in saying it.
"Will you please look up the number?"
says Central, CURLY.
The receiver is SO frozen to your ear
by this chilliness that you use both hands
to turn up your coat collar but you man
age to say:
"Oh, you know what said; want
seven-twentytwo."
"Then why didn't you say So" says
Central.
You don't know and you wouldn't tell
if you did.
The other people in the room have
heard your side of the conversation and
have guessed enough of the rest, or you
imagine they have, to be giggling about
it.
1t is this that brings you to a sense of
your duty as brave man and you brace
up to imprint scathing criticism. You
say:
whats the matter with you this
morning, Central, you seem to be off?''
"Will you kindly tell me palmer what
mum Der you want and transact your BUSH
ness? And don't talk so loud" returns
Central
You are down again. Your knees are
trembling and your chest presses against
the battery box of the transmitter or you
would fall. while you are doing your best
to melt yourself of the receiver with
your bushes.
You speak as plainly as you can.
"Seven twenty two"
''Seven thirty two," says Central. "AH
right.
No. no" you yell; "two seventy-two"
Two seventytwoI"
"NO, no; two twenty-seven"
"You have called for four differ
ent numbers now. What do you want?"
"Seven twenty-five" you say in voice
that compels a repetition.
Are you sure?"
ayes, yes" you say, "anything will do"
And by the time you get the number
you want you have forgotten what you
wanted to say and ring off and go away
feeling that it is the unanimous opinion
of the whole world that you are silly
bra4nless fool, and you concur in it.
Al
WThis will be hard to believe but it is
true.
Lee Jones was a travelling man once
and sold bibles. He claims to have been
the best bible seller in the west
Or, to be more explicit and less liable to
be misunderstood, be claims to have sold
bibles better than any other bible seller
that ever sold bibles
But that doesn't belong to the story.
This story is about an overcoat
Jones Eeeded an overcoat the first year
he was out when the frost appeared on
the pumpkin and one day one of his trav-
cling friends heard him wondering
whether or not he would be able to get
one with the remnant of his next months
salary.
"You don't intend to pay for it your
self do you?" asked this friend.
HWhv Of cOursa - said Tonaa
why, you puzzle faced emblem of rus
ITCHY" said the friend; "Why don't you
make your firm pay for it. do"
Il don't believe they'd do it," said
Jones.
u hope you wouldn't ask them," said
the other with fine scorn. "Get your
coat and charge it to expense. It'll be
all right"
In few weeks Jones was Tin" and
the sold man" was checking him up.
Look here" said the headcentsr, 81
see you've got US charged up with an
overcoat, $40. We didn't buy any over
coat"
But I did," said Jones with becoming
innocence.
well" said the old man, 1--WE don't
buy overcoats for our statesmen; that
comes out of your salary" And it did.
"Pll get even with you for that" said
Jones to the old man after he was a few
hundred miles out on the road.
The next year Jones had to have an
other overcoat and he got it.
When the boss checked Jones up this
time he chuckled exceedingly-the boss
did So did Jones.
81 don't see any overcoat, $40, here this
time" he said.
It was Jones' turn now.
"Maybe you DON'T" he said, "but it's
there"
And that's how Lee Jones cameto quit
selling bibles.
He was the new Office boy.
y He had a funny little wrinkle in his
nose, was slightly cross-eyed, bit bow
legged. lisped, talked through his nose,
An, Id hin. lahaZad fnka