The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1895-07-19
PITH AND POINT.

PITH AND POINT.
A Change of Base-Pessing counter
felt money.
One way to chang up drink is to
suspend drinking.-HeIlo.
The man who works himselfto death
finds that his money is onlya Funeral
pile"
The ladies' tailor has hard lot. He
has to reform SO many of his GUS
tomers.-Binghamton Republic.
The professional photographer and
the amateur hold entirely different
views of the same thing. Statesman.
Mollie-sThat old man Hattie is 60
ing to marry isn't worth dollar"
Sarah-''Of course not; he's only
remnant. Detroit Free Press.
-*FWhat did ye ave the coopay
widened out at the top like funnel
for?" The misses ave got their new
cloaks. ""-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
'It's funny about bridal pairs.
They're not like other pears at all. -
tfWhy not?" 'sThey're softest when
they're green. Retailer and Jobber.
The man who pay the printers debt
His life is always merry,
And, dying, he is sure to get
A free obituary!
Atlanta Constitution. =
T. Charles-'There's the dombell ring
ing. wonder who it is?" Edward
ga man. just saw sister Nellie run
to the looking-glass. Chicago Rec
ord.
- elbow is Johnny getting along with
his writing?" asked the fond parent.
Rapidly" replied the teacher. ST
think he is already competent to write
his own excuses. ''-Indianapolis Jour
nal.
tsWhat do you suppose is
meant by writing for posterlty'?''
Wicks-s Sending to magazines arti-
cles which seldom appear during the
life of the writer. Boston Tran
script.
ssMy FRIEND" began the solemn man
with the red nose, 1--WE are all dust"
sGowan!" replied the new policeman,
''or I'll soak you, an then your name
will be mud. See?'-Indianapolis
Journal.
'sDid you hear about Dick propos-
ing to Mile by postal card?" s'No-
the brute. How did she punish him?"
accepted him through the personal
columns of the daiies. - Detroit
Tribune.
Beak fwho has nose that is painful
~ prominently s1 am SO blind that I
can't see any further than the end Of my
nose" Fogg-''Great Scott, man!
You have eyes like telescope. Dos
ton Transcript.
'sI'm agin this labor agitation, said
Meandering Mike. s'So'm l." said
Flooding Pete. ssEvery time I run
up agin a piece of work git SO agita-
ted I purity near have heart disease. -
American Industries.
Glow do you know, then, the young
artist has an income outside of his
profession?" asked the landlady's
daughter. Because" was the con-
fident reply, she pays his rent regu-
larly. Washington Star.
Junior Partner ssOur traveller
ought to be discharged. He told one
of our customers that am an ignorant
fool" Senior Partner-'1 shall
speak to him and insist that no more
Office secrets be divulged. -Tid-Bits.
Reggie Quarterback-''One of the
girls told me that I looked like a
human chrysanthemum. Rather clever.
eh?'' Miss Figg-'.I had noticed the
chrysanthemum part of the resem-
blance myself. indianapolis Journal.
ssWhat an inconsistent creature wo-
man is, to be sure!" the young man
exclaimed. "What's the matter now?"
ssMiss Ritter has just sent me note
signed in haste and delivered by
district messenger boy. Washington
Star.
Maude-ssW hat do you suppose Gus
De Goodle said when I told him I
wanted to speak to him moment last
night?'' Beatrice-'1 don't know.
What?" Maude-'' Replied that he was
all ears" Beatrice-''The donkey!'
Buffalo Courier.
Judge Dufy-'What induced you
to commit this theft?'' Prisoner
"Your Honor, I have been accus-
toned all my life to have place
for everything and everything in its
place. I can't bear to see anything
lying around loose. Texas Siftings.
ssMy daughter gets 100000 as a
wedding present; but she has an i'm
pediment in her speech, said wealthy
father-in-law to a would-be son-in-
law, who was poor. 81 know; but I
do not regard that as an impeachment
to our marriage" replied the impe-
cunious one.-Texas Siftings.
The lady had given the small boy an
apple and he had said nothing in rec
ognition. "What does little boy say
when he gets anything?" asked the
lady insinuatingly. He hesitated a
moment. ''Some little boys, he said,
''says thank You; some says much
obliged, and some just keeps thinkln'
how much better an orange is than al
apple. Detroit Free Press.