Connecticut western news., 1895-03-21
A CURE FOR BORES.

A CURE FOR BORES.
 II am in trouble" said Bremner. to his friend Sommers, land want you to help me out.
 Financial" asked Sonmers, with a slight contracting of his eyebrows.
 "Oh, no Worse than that a good deal.''
 ''I didn't know anything could be worse in-these panicky times What is it?''
 "I have friend" said Bremner, "or a man who thinks himself my friend, and whom for certain reasons I wish to shake off, but he refuses to be shaken. Now, you are a resourceful man and may be able to give me hint. l have tried everything with Snaggs-every- thing short of positive insult-and all to no purpose.
 "What is the matter with him?" ask ed Sommers
 ''The matter is this: He has boy years old or whereabouts, and he always persists in talking about the lad-ip fact, he can't talk of anything else and imagines every one as deeply inter- ested as himself. have nothing at all against the boy. He is good enough, rest of them. never see any difference in boys myself. They all seem equally objectionable But Snaggs comeSto our house, sits down and talks about his boy until am nearly driven crazy. hope you can suggest something for my relief. !"
 "I suggest" said Sommers, "that you take Snaggs to the state of Michi- gan, U. s. A., and kill him."
 "Why to Michigan" queried Brem- ner.
 "Oh, simply because they don't hang for murder there, and any penalty short of hanging should be cheerfully borne to get rid of man like Snaggs-"
 'I didn't know you were acquainted with him, '' said Bremner excitedly.
 'I'm not, but I'm afflicted in the same way myself.
 ''Nonsensep cried Bremner. "I never even heard you mention your children.
 II mean that I am afflicted with a friend like Snaggs. It's a daughter in his case. His name is Gregsby. I'm even worse off than you are, for this only daughter is but years old. You are two years ahead of me. By and by the boy will reach years of discretion. and he will get there quicker than Gregsby's girl.
 "I don't know about that" Bremner replied gloomily. Girls grow up so much faster than boys do"
 ''But they never reach years of dis erection, you know"
 will either. The boys father hasn't, at any rate. But say, Sommers, an idea strikes me. Why not introduce Snaggs and Gregsby to each other?" That wouldn't be bad plan, re- piled Sommers cheerfully, land then we might bet on them. I'll back my man to be the greater bore" ''There wouldn't be any use in bet ting" said Bremner; for if your man is as bad as mine it could only end in a draw"
 Bring your man round, and we'll test the case"
 Shall bring Snaggs to your house tomorrow night then?" asked Bremner.
 "Yes. and if you're in for bet Pm your victim. I have great faith in Gregsby and would like to have little stake on hin"
 ''It's a serious subject with me-, re. piled Bremner.
 "Oh, very we'll, then, I'll expect you tomorrow night about 8 o'clock, though I suspect your man is not half so capa- | ble bore as mine"
 It was few minutes before o'clock l when Gregsby pressed the electric but. ton at the Sommers residence Sommers heard him talking to Mrs. Sommers il the hall, saying: "Oh, yes, thank you she is quite we'll I'll tell you some thing funny that she said today to hel mother" :"
 Sommers groaned and helped himself to quantity of the stimulant provided for his guests. The next moment Gregs by appeared, smiling, and Sommers greet ed him with well feigned cordiality. .l Very soon the bell rang again, and { ! few minutes after Bremner was intro ducing Snaggs to the two sitting in tn, smoking room.
 "Beastly weather this" said Gregsby to the newcomers. ''I don't mind tn, weather myself, but when 8 man ha children he is compelled to think of it. ,
 Have you children?" asked Snaggs with appar ent interest "I've a littl, boy myself, but he doesn't mind tn, weather in the least. " -ea
 T shouldn't say children, ]" replied Gregsby. "I have one little girl, ant she is only years old, but wonderful. knowing for her age, and this weathe is so bad that she misses her walk witt her mamma. We never trust her with out nurse, you know''-.
 '.I was saying" broke in Sraggs "that I have little boy myself. He z, and he goes out in all sorts of weath CT. I don't believe in coddling children And that reminds me of a clever thin he said to me this morning. He aiway comes little piece of the way with m when I start for the office~ He"- ,, "Ah, yes" interrupted Gregsby, "bu girls are delicate little creatures an
 have to be taken care of. Quite SC" agreed Snaggs. II admi
 that there are disadvantages about girl 3 that boys are quite free from" 8 "Disadvantagesl'' cried Gregsb, "You don't mean to say that a gre:
 clumsy boy is to be compared with
 naat little girl? I would rather have