The Globe-republican., 1895-08-01

Indications are that the Kansas vo-
ter will return Mr.. Ingalls, love.
A Coffeyville inebriate uses his wife's
powder puff to take the shine off his
nose.
A man living near Lebanon will
have 200 bushels of Apricots this year
with long a.
The clouds in Kansas are having a
depressing effect upon the corn mar
kets of the world.
The Kansas Millers inadvertently
put up the price of wheat cents day
before yesterday.
There is no truth in the report
that Cowley county corn has been
ruined by the hot winds.
A Topeka man walked up an alley
back of restaurant and hasn't been
able to eat anything since.
DR.. Goblin was not at Baker univer-
sity very long but it was sufficient to
catch the marrying fever
It is charged that Governor Morrill, is
responsible for the prohibitory law not
being enforced in Leavenworth.
A Topeka man who tried to be a
gambler and failed, told reporter one
evening how to run a newspaper.
Bountiful rains have made life so
interesting in western Kansas that
| even wells have ceased to be bored.
Kansas will furnish the corn-juice
this year for the balance of the states,
but not a drop for home consumption.
The only hot winds Kansas has had
this year were written down on white
paper and licked eastward over a fine
wire.
D. H. Robinson, professor of Latin
language and literature of the State
University died at Lawrence Sunday
morning,
When the sun gets to pulling up
railroad tracks you can understand the
awful strain on the roots of the Kan
sas corn.
"The pathway of the Kansas farmer
is not strewn with flowers" says a
New York paper. No but it is strewn
with corn.
Elk. Gov. Humphrey says Kansas
"suits me to dot" and will therefore
stay in the land of Sunfowers and big
ears of corn,
The Lawrence man who had to take
musk to get rid of the hiccoughs, is
undecided which is worse, the remedy
or the disease.
It now begins to appear that the corn
crop in Kansas is going to grow to
maturity without evoking single
original or new joke.
No one would suppose Salina bicy-
c1ists much given to literature and yet
after hard road race every one of
them comes in a rider, haggard.
Two miles of Santa Fe track have
been pulled up in Kansas by sunlight.
This is much better than if the train
had been held up by moonlight.
Twenty-Five Atkinson men who
counted on the saloons furnishing the
city with revenue, are about to be ar
rested for not paying their poll tax.
It has been so long since there was a
knock down fight in Burlington's poker
room that it is thought the practice of
dealing from the bottom has fallen in
to desuetude.
Nothing short of a catastrophe or
pestilence can keep Ottawa county in
the background when the births for
the past three years have exceeded the
deaths by 257.
Mrs. Ida E. Peacock, the authoress,
has been granted a divorce from Thorn
as Brewer Peacock, the poet, by Judge
Hazen of Topeka. The proceedings
were conducted secretly.
A Wichita girl, who is big enough to
know better, stretches her chewing
gum out of her mouth, and when re-
proved says she does it for calisthen-
In exercise to make her biceps larger.
THE new board of managers of the
state reformatory held their first ses-
sion in. Topeka, Saturday. The prin-
cipal business transacted was electing
Judge Peters chairman. Sometime
was spent in examining the institution
and the work of the old board. It is
their intention to receive prisoners at
the earliest possible time.
A washerwoman, in Solomon City,
applied for help to gentleman, who
gave her a note to the manager of a BIZ
cycle club. 1t read as follows: Dear
Mr.. c.: This woman wants wash
ing" Very quickly the answer came
back: 81 dare say she does, but l don't
fancy the job"
If some of the editors who are wor-r
fying themselves and a patient public
about the new woman" would devote
as much time in an effort to make new