Pawtucket tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 1890-189?, 1895-03-28


Scene. Dining room OF Mrs. and Mr.
1.Atsrday.
Each is arrayod In a costume reversed
from the custom of their ancestors The
wife wears an ultra style Of b'oomers, with
vest. cutawny coat and black four-in- hand
necktic Hair short and partod In the
middle. The husband IL clothed In light
Gluo Wrapper, fluffy sleeves, close cpt besrd
and long hair arranged Ia mode pf tho
latest French knot. They sit at the break
fast table, Susan reading the morning
paper, while John IL slowly pouring out
the coffee frowning and muttcring inco-
herent sentences as tho right sleeve OF his
morning gown falls accidentally into the
dark, Brazilian beverage before HIM The
children, Mary and Willie, respectively l3
and II years Of age, occupy seats on either
sido Of tho table.
Johns mind wandors In retrospection
as with n dolly no dries tho moistencd
sleeves. This Is tho tenor of his thoughts:
"Little did the fathers Of 1895 conceive
that their postority would think, act and
dress as they do today Here am con-
tinual home body and haven't tho oppor-
tunity Of leaving my duties evon for n mo-
ment. The entire morning is consumed
IN caring for the children, getting them
ready for school, cleaning their faces and
hands, and above all plating little Will
He's hair, which reaches to his waist-and
such lovely color. Then 1t Is so hard to
keep his dresses clean, more SO than my
own, though / am constantly In the kitch-
On, and darn the holes In his stockings.
''Alasl wish boys wore pants as they
did 100 years ago. But then i can't com.
o. ha &c nulQt
he were but like Mary and could dress as
she dresses, / should have no trouble in
keeping him clean and respectable Her
bloomers are never soiled, her short, bar
ber cut hair so easily brushed, and II she
were not SO robust, rollicking and mis-
chieyous l should dote on her. live In
constant dread that Willie may become
TON girlish' and Mary lose hor head or
limb while playing football or cricket. A
housekeeper's life is indeed hard one. ("
At this juncturo Susan lays aside the
paper saying: This is miserable. Stocks
and bonds arc depreciating rapidly, the
'Roldbugs' of Wall street arc riding rough
shod recklessly over all competitors and
monopolists are expressing private indus
tries with heels Of iron. Cooking up)--
John, dear, the coffee Is very weak. Why
don't YOU scold the cook3 You know l
haven { the time to overlook domestic af-
fairs, being absent from homo all day.
And the biscuits, dearest How different
from those my father used to make.
(Sighing)-Poor me, shall have dyspep-
sia before another week Is cnded. (Turn-
ing to Mary)-Daugbter, how do you like
your new bicycles" ..,.,
Mary-Oh. 1t Is just too nice for any
thing, and have outstrippod every other
girl in the neighborhood racing round the
block. They are all obvious of mo. But
what do you think, mamma? Willie ask
cd me yesterday to let him ride. and strad-
die at that willie bushes and covers bis
face with his hands as he violently coughs.
The idea of my brother, boy, wanting
to ride bicycle 1t Is ridiculous, inde-
cent. What would the other girls say!
Mother (almost unnerved by the disclo-
sure of Willie's desire)-I am astounded
that my son, Laterday, should so far
have forgotten himself as to act in man
ner so unbecoming a little gentleman
Be content, my child, with your dolls and
dresses These are bettor suited to your
position.
Father (soothingly)-Thcrc, darling,
don't cry. Mother didn't intend to hurt
my little angels feelings. Susan, you
should deal more gently with the eentler
sex.
Mother--Unsh, John. You arc littlo
bettor than your son. Your head il rs
soft as putty.
Tears come into Johns eyes. He and
Willie weep violently, while the mother
and daughter eat In silence, apparently
deploring the weakness OF tho male sex.
After the lapse of q few moments John,
an ideal husband, believing his wife's criti-
cism TO bc just and proper, RECEIVERS a smile,
and Willie, replacing fallen hairpin,
stuffs q battercake In his mouth. At this
interval tho maid an Irishman, clad In
lavender skirt, green waist and leather
belt, enters, hands warm buckwhcats
around, and with a slight "curtsy" exits.
Wife-John, prefer that you engage a
German or an Englishman. Tho Hiber-
nian, In my opinion, Is not suited for
his labors. Now, our butler, the French
girl, is exemplary, and none bettor could
be secured. BY the by, John, while
think OF it, Lucy Harrison was inquiring
yourIage on yesterday.
John bursting into a tempereThe ideal
The ,impertinence of the woman! OF
course it Is all right to ask yours, but o
husbands age should be held sacred and
above the curiosity of tho vulgar.
Tears again steal into his eyes and
trickle noiselessly to his bread as he con-
templates this objectionable insult
Breakfast over, Susan arises, calls for
overcoat and rubbers and turns to go out.
John Cnterrupting)-W desire to
do some shopping this morning. Please
give me $50.
Susan-Oh, John, John, you are very
extravagant and will break mo yet. /
think you might try to eoonomize during
these hard times.
John-But, Susan, you know my cos
metics are out and / must have moro be-
fore tonight, because dom care to make
worse appearance than Mrs. B. s hus.
band. Besides, my pug Is unwell and
must have the immediate attention of a
skillful physician. But shall take Fido
in the carriage to DIR. Cure instead Of pay
ing extra for visit.
Susan-very we'll, John. You shall
have IT, You were ALWAYS dear creatr re-