The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-04-21
THE SCHOOL OF SOCIETY.

have heard my first bit of instruction
criticised so severely by my best friends
that it is with no small degree of timidity
that / again venture upon the treacherous
sea of truth. don't see why one isn't fully
privileged to write ones observations OF
society" just the same as she would her
observations in natural history One is
just as interesting as the other to people
who have not been over the ground The
purpose of this particular talk is to give
information and advice to the socially am
bilious girl. In one sense this is little
more difficult than the instruction of the
young man, for so many more and such
serious problems present themselves but,
ON the other hand. it is made easier by
the fact that the social sense" is so
much more keenly developed in the girl
than in the youth / presume this is given
us as compensation in some measure, for
the fact that social success or failure is
a matter of so much more magnitude to
us than to the men. When they are barred
out, or, being in. are cast out, they can
go in for work or travel take to drink,
but young woman can do nothing but
be wretched Then the way of the girl
is SO much narrower. In her social prog
ress, as in her womanly reputation, one
false move means shipwreck. irretrievable
forever. But if / continue in this strain
1 shall fall upon that old topic of the
worlds injustice to woman, upon which
my husband has been kind enough to fire.
queritly declare me crank.
The person who can discover precisely
what it is that makes a girl "go'' socially
will have something more sought after
than Dr. Koch's consumption cure. Money.
of course. plays its part, but have seen
girls worth their weight in gold'' sit out
three or four dances in succession Beauty,
vivacity and the ability to dress well UNI
doubtedly have much to do with it, and
yet r have known plenty of girls with
all three of these to gradually drop out
of society" Another curious fact / have
noted is that occasionally girl will ''go"
beautifully in one city and prove a fiat
failure in another. Not infrequently
young woman will come here to visit and
be the reigning belle during her stay, and
you will have difficulty in learning her adj
dress when you so to her own city. On
the other hand. you will sometimes go
q visit and be dumfounded to find the
town in social furore over the beauty
and accomplishments of some Indianapolis
girl you have never heard of. Again. you
will often be surprised to learn that some
girl whom you have known here as
removal, become a great social leader in
her new home This is a social principle
so we'll recognized that it is quite the usual
thing for rich New Workers to break into
New York exclusive circles' through the
London, Philadelphia or Boston door.
The socially ambitious among girls in
cludes pretty nearly all of Them Even the
girl whose success is practically assured by
the high social standing of her parents and
her own beauty, regards her "coming-out
party as an event of Importance hardly
secondary to her marriage. But upon this
fortunate creature l have liz time to
waste, 1t is the girl-or rather her mother
who has obstacles to overcome that /
would aid. take 1t that you are in one
have grown rich elsewhere and have come
here 70 live, or they have lived here all
their lives and, having made money, are
ambitious to give you the best in life, or
you are poor and have come here to live
with well-to-do relatives Otherwise you
might as well not try. If you have lived
here all your life and are poor you have
probably dreamed of the fairy prince that
never comes. but you have formed no seri-
Gus intention of assaulting the gates of
exclusive society and are fairly content
with the quiet circle in which you have
grown up. 1t is better so. for the pleas
ures of the Endeavor' meetings, progress
sive euchre, and The Hyperion Dancing
piness than does the hidden struggle for
social eminence, where every slight means
pOlSldHt SflcL tOI your EOOQ mother ana
not a little heaviness for your own dear
heart. The society reporter will not
hunt you up, II is true, but you can get
your name III the paper by writing her a
neat little account of your party. and really
you would be surprised to know how many
of our society leaders, do that very same
thing. I am constrained to believe that
many of them get their first literary prac-
tice in this way.
If your father has amassed means and
your mother has acquired social ambition,
they have doubtless looked well to your
future. If they have been unable to them
selves form the social connections they
desired for your sake. they have probably
taken good care that you should form no
friendships. IL not useful ones. They have
probably sent you to the Classical School
or st; Mary's before. you acquired any girl
friends at the public schools, and then
they have sent you away to some girls
finishing school, taking care to send you
where the daughters of some OF the ..best
people" of Indianapolis were being polished
on IL you have been wise in your gener-
alton you have formed a warm friendship
with AZ least one Of these and have had
her az your home to spend the day when
eyer YOU, gould. And, by the way whether
You originated here or have recently come