Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-10-03
Let Us All Laugh.

washington Star.
Jones-How's Wheeler getting along
since he bought q bicycle? Brown
On crutches, believe.-London Fun.
Blobbs-Did you spend pleasant
vacation? Slobbs-No; my wife al
tends to all the spending.-Philadel-
phia Record.
"I am moving to-day because l could
not pay the rentv' That's first rate, I
am moving for the same reason; let's
change quartersv'- Fliegende Blaetter.
No, Maude, dear, the tailor would
scarcely make good matrimonial
agent, although he does press other
peoples suits for ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Record.
Miss Planephace exhibiting her pho-
tograph)-Everybody says it does not
do me Justice Miss Pert-Evidently
the artist is man of tact-Boston
Transcript.
Some joys of life make me most sad -
When l think of how / miss em.
The girls want to kiss are those
Who don't want me to kiss 'em.
Life.
what do you think of your engage
ment ring?" "You dear, sweet old
boy, it's the handsomest l ever had-L
mean like it ever so much."-Chicago
Times Herald.
"They must be having electrical
storms at home," said Mrs. Harley,
reading letter from her sister. "Jane
says they are having shocking wealth
er."-Harpers Bazaar.
The Bashful One-They say that
there are bacilh on a woman's lips. !
wonder what they are like? She (en7
couragingly)-Why don't you try and
find out ?-Syracuse Post.
She sat before me at the play,
She was beauty quite;
The house was full, the air was cool,
The play was out of sight.
Boston Courier.
Mrs. Brown-You really must join
our sewing circle. Mrs. Jones-My
dear, | haven't the time to spare. I
have to do SO much mending for the
children.-New York Herald
Customer--A loaf of bread, please.
Baker-Five-cent loaf or ten-cent loafY
Customer (precisely)-I will take one Of
the loaves that you sell for five cents
Somerville Journal
Once more unto the play goes she,
Serenely conscious that
The man behind her cannot see
A thing except her hat.
Washington Star.
Boatlnan-No, mister, l can't let you
have boat now; there's heavy swell
just coming along. Irate 'Arry-Swell
be hanged! Amt my money as good
as his?-Boston Globe.
YEAST never saw such a man as
Jumply. He seems to get new trunk
every month. Crimsonbeak-Ye he
changes his boarding place every thirty
days.-Yonkers Statesman.
They set out ON bicycle built for two.
Alas, ere the year was done,
We found them-'tis very sat, but true
On salary built for one. t5iN,
Washington Star sos s@s@
The Complaining Boarder-This meat
is about the toughest that | ever came
across. The Philosophic Boarder-Yes;
bet then there is very little of it, you
know.-Boston Transcript.
\ maiden writes: ''Can you tell me
how TO change the color of my hair,
which all the young men tell me IS red?''
Certainly we can. Get rich; they will
then call it golden or auburn-Erie
Messenger.
Thirty days hath September
The clam sang ON the bar.
The oyster sighed: 'If remember,
1t also hath an r."
Life.
And. speaking of the cup, the col
orcd gentleman was not far wrong
when he said: "Good name for dat
boat OBJ ours. Missey. She done keep all
de udded boats off, so she's de eenderg'
New York Recorder.
wonder why Jones moved away
from here. He was doing good bust.
ness, wasn't hep "Oh, yes-there were
was of telling storiesY Eyes, / guess I
do well, he's been forced to take
these stories to new country Chi
cago Record.
Old Mercator Ito little Billy Ducks,
just left school, who applies for situa-
ton as office boy, and produces testi-;
monial from clergyman)-sWe don't
want you on Sundays, my good little
boy. Have you a reference from any
one who knows you on week days2"-.