Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-12-04
TEA-TABLE SALAD.

NO NEED FOR 1T.
She says she can't afford a cab
Expenses she must curb.
Yet when she walks upon the street
Her carriage is superb.
New York IIe;ald.
WITH GOOD REASON.
The ancients thought the world was flat
We know that isn't true
But when our fondest hopes are dashed
New York Herald.
= x q
The story about Gen. Harrison's max
ing a fortune out of Kafir mines was
pure invention. Il have never made
any money he says, that | have not
worked for
Harry-"Is this Miss Wallace that /
am going to meet tonight a pretty grip
Ned-"Well, that's a matter of opin-
ion. My own idea is that she is much
more likely to get engaged on a moon
light buggy ride than at a FASHIONABLE
baI."-Somerville Journal.
Husband-"Don't you know that every
time Il woman gets angry she adds Il
wrinkle to her face?" Wife-"Yes; it's
a wise provision of nature to let the
world know the kind of husband she's
SOl. X uOjOS anu bhelCIloS.
AN AMBITIOUS HOPE.
Oh, statesman, struggle bravely on
For glory as a slayer;
In time you'll be as much admired
AS any football player.
You are worth your weight in gold to
me, darling" he murmured. Then do
come home early, George, dear?' she
replied YEARLY. I've lost ten pounds
since we were married just sitting up
late for you. We can't afford such ex-
trayagance."-Harper's Bazaar.
Appreciation-'I wish them things
wasn't so high-priced," said Mrs. Jason,
anthemums. II think I'll raise some
next year myself. They ought to be
jist lovely to sprinkle clothes with
Indianapolis Journal.
Her object-"Oh, l do wish the count
would propose to mel" Would you ac-
cept him?' mo, but / could tell Harry
all about it after we are engaged."-
Brooklyn Life.
Bligg-"Pushleigh deserves great cred
it for his success in life. He rose from
a poor boy"
Blagg-"Does he, indeed! Let me tell
you that Washington deserves far more
credit. He rose from a rich boy."-Rox-
Ou1y 1dZcllt
John-'Did your wife go to the coun-
try this year,"
Tompkins-"Yes; she spent the sum-
mer with friends at Blue Point"
JOhn-"You must have been pretty
l~onesome?'
Tompkins-"Yes, I was; especially on
Saturdays and Sundays"
John.,"Why couldn't you range to
spend those days with her?'
Tompkins-"I Wallpapers Bazaar.
= =
'Some OBJ de worl's smallest men,
said Uncle Eben, seems ter devot dab
intiah intelleck ter fndin' new kinds OBJ
trouble ter git into."-Washington Star.
Gozzins-"How many voices are there
in that choir at your church,"
Bazley-"About seyen.''
Gozzins-"Why, 1 had an impression
that it had forty or fifty members"
Bazley-"So it has. but you asked me
how many voices"-Roxbury Gazette.
y II
Beautiful fall weather" remarked
Crimsonbeak to Miss Wheeler, as she
stood over her fallen wheel, brushing the
dust from her boomers. And now they
don speak.-Yonkers Statesman.
A A
Here's to the day
When it is May
And care as light as a feather.
When your little shoes and my big boots
Go trampling over the heather.
Here's to the night
When our delight
Shall hold the stars in a tetner,
When your little shoes and my big boots
Are under the bed together.
Bliss CaIman in New York Evening Sun.
ON CONDITION.
Wilt take a little smack with me?''
They loitered by the sailful sea.
She dropped her laSheS modestly,
And mildly, meekly, blushin',
Said she: II will participate
In such diversion as you state,
If you the same will designate
A labial concuSsion.'
-Pearson's Weekly.
A CONTRARY WORLD.
If all the days were holidays,
Before the year was done,
The hardest work that you could do
Would seem the biggest fun.
EXPERIENCE.
Time fits a strange glass TO our eyes
By which we learn, on looking through,
How precious little twas we knew
IN days we held ourselves as wise.
Truth.