New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1895-06-30
A POUND OF BUTTER.
AND THE QUEER WAYS OF MRS. HOLLAND.

that huttermaking was very romantic In novels,
she had noticed The hero often begged for
drink OF buttermilk and he continually ad-
miring the beautiful. round arms Of the heroine
as she slapped the dcsher up and down. For her
part Gertrude expressed wish that the writer's
Of these novels had to slap that dasher up and
down themselves for Al hour or two II would De
good discipline for them. and would put stop to
all that rot about the beauty OF darywork
Not that Gertrude had a churn with dasher.
We kept only one COW, and the cream was In an
upright earthen Jar. In this jar was a smootn,
hardwood "pudling-stick." and this puddins-
stick It was Gertrude's duty to turn around and
around in the cream until the butter came" II
there was ever in this world an unreliable. anta-
lizing. mysterious substance 1t Is butter When
you have expended your entire stock OF lore
thought in trying 10 make the conditions right
from the moment the milk was MIXED into the
pail until the cream and puddng-stick meet in
the stone jar then the cream may just come 10 a
state OF what looks like sem-grsnulation and re-
main In that state and laugh at you as you toll
and sweat. and perhaps swear. or. what Is Just
as bad want 70 swear.
don't make butter. said when we came 70
Ransom that would follow the plough. would
groom the horse clean the stables. and do any
would not make butter. Gertrude replied that
nobody asked me; that she would do II herse'.
And she made some remarks at that time aoo 1t
the beauty Of the white. foamy milk; the luscious
lovellness OF the creamy cream: the richness OF
the golden. dewy butter.
She doesn't make those remarks now Instead
when the subject Is mentioned and quote TO her
about the creamy cream she asks me II am
willing 70 talk Of something else She herset
says that dairying always makes her think OF
Kathleen Mavourneen. that 1t may be for years
and IL may be forever before the butter VIII con-
descend TO come: and when 1t does come II may
not be in tho mind to separate" She has also
Informed me that there is no position In which
mortal human being may be placed In which that
being feels SO thoroughly helpless Az before butter
tina, refuses separate. II is here. and YET IL
Is no, here.
Irc-water is poured upon the substance;
still that same appearance Of putty. with an odor
81 fresh cream. The Jar T. set away that the con-
tents may have time to think over their misdeeds
and to resolve upon reform. The wretched Ger
trude goes on, and pulls weeds from the straw
berry bed. hoping thus to distract her mind.
She returns She brings back the pot Of cream
and dashes In more water At last white.
waterv stun detaches Itself from somewhere II.
the lar. and that Is buttermilk. II IS going 0
separate The butter is going to come. TIL
umphant moment to the perspiring. despairirg
darymaid,
My friend has informed me conhdentially that
there Is not a moment from the frst Swimming
OF the cream to the putting Of the result OF her
work in the mould. when II Is an appropriate
time for the appearance OF an admirer. or "heh
an admircr II he did appear. would not be dis
illusioned give this assertion TO the world for
what II may be worth.
Although we do a great deal OF hard work. like
hoeing in the garden. washing our democrat
wagon. and other things which require strong
minded person to PERFORM we do hate I WASH
clothes.
Therefore we have for long time had Nancy
Holland do our washing. We usually pay her In
cash but last week che requested. as she was
out Of butter. and the grocery man didn't come
round until the next day but one and she ha' mt
ordered butter. anyway. that We let her have but
ter In payment.
Whereupon the following conversation en-
sued:
was not present. I usually escaped into thee
small bedroom that led out OF the Ions kitchen.
Here sat on the bed heard every word. and
thought " a great deal better answers than Ger
trde gave
Mrs. Holland came in all Of a fiutter. as was
her ordinary condition.
Il come after my butter she said You
know you told me could have some Tor that
last washing"
Yes How much do you CHARGE?
wall I thought a washing was wuth a pound
OF butter: don't your
THAT depends on the price OF washing and the
price Of butter
II amt got nothin' to say 'cept that a washing
is wuth n pound OF butter"
The ouavcring tone was trine belligerert
But surprising you charged s5 cents for wash
ing and butter was 30 cents; or supposing the
other way?
Gertrude very calm and clear In her state
mcnt II almost seemed as n even Nancy Ho-
land would what she meant.
But Mrs Holland only raised her voice and re
iterated her assertion that a washing was worth
a pound Of butter
Again Gertrude patiently repeated her explana-
ton.
There was silence for a moment. took one OF
the pillows from the bed on which sat. pounded
1t few times and replaced II in Its position.
II was OF no possible consequence. but when
person comes and says a thing like that 10 you
YOU are directly seized with an imperative desire
to make that person understand.
And Mrs Hollands attitude was defensive
attitude-as II We should not be likely to give
her her just pay
wall. anyway. a washing is wuth a pound Of
butter"
but Mrs Holland. don't you see. might owe
YOU 80 cents. or even dollar for a washing. and
/ shouldn't pay you enough. In that case Or
might owe you less than :he price OF butter now.
Why can't you tell me what do owe your
7 the i,,' "a
into that" in a high voice. Now. don't you say
that washing Is with pound OF butter?"
I took I'D the pillow again and pounded It
still harder
"Why In the world" whispered to myself.
doesn't Gertrude make that woman know what
she means? could do II: ! know could do IT,"
At this moment my friend appeared In the
doorway.
..uave YOU heard?" she asked.