New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1895-03-12
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

2I434,O44 pounds were imported making an aver
age OF almost 10000 pounds day. The trade in
the leaf with China has grown less, while 1t has
greatly increased with India and Ceyon.
Sympathetic od Lady-win you please tell N. e
your paper every week? | want 10 tell her how
m Ss Bas a'q N the he 9,5 PeFu'ns her articles on
Once B0y,He's yonder. .ma'am. That's him who
is standing there with pink shirt on and smoking
his pipe.-Ia Semana Comica.
A canny Scot has built yacht:
To Cannes he goes and sails her;
modest Fife proclaimed her life.
And every sportsman halls her,
Brl;annla's Wales has stretched her sails
No blessed thing avaiis her;
In winds that blow drifting slow.
There's something canny Alsa-
Where Silence Is Best.-"What should a fel,er
say" asked the young man. anNl9isF, wnen MS
wife asks him II he would marry again Z she were
say nothing Of course" answered TIE elderly ad:.
wiser III he says he would she'll think NJ does1t
Ike her. II he announces his Intention oi sAy!ns
single she will have the idea that he - tired Of
matrlmony indianapolis Journal
The Indian HELPER" SAYS that AZ the commence
men, luncheon OF the Carlisle. Penn. Indian school
the other day one OF the articles on the table was
"A dish OF deylle1 eggs. An obseryant indian g.H
who helped to walt on table carried 10 the kitchen
a guests plate containing several smooth hard ex-
cayated whites Of the egg. Whose plate is that
girl designating a certain person at the table. she
only eats the devils out OF her eggs"
Jagwell-What makes that hen in your back ylri
cack.e 50 loud? Wigway-Oh, they've just lail =
cornerstone across the street. and shes trying ID
make the neighbors think she lid iL-CTid BIS
local paper tells how the boys % Sandwich
Mass, have been bunco.ng the authorities tho
muskrat question The town OF sandwich offered
a bounty OF - cents for every muskrat head, and
the town Of Bourne, adjJlnins. offered = cents for
every muskrat tail. The boys began % hunt musk
rats. selling the heal in sandwich and the tail in
Bourne every animal thereby netting them % cents.
The authorities in each town discovered wha; was
going on and changed their offer az the same tine
Sandwich paying FOR the tails and Bourne ior the
heads. The boys cheerfuy acquesced. as II made
difference TO them whether they sold the head
In town or the other. In either case it was
Heads wia tails You lose"
In for It The captain turned ra'e': trembling
None" answered the executive officer. solemny.
The commander raised his trumpet 10 ms Ups
Man tho lfeboat" lie shouted through tAe 'eH-
moment later he left the ship.
No, she was not sinking She was four hours late;
ana the captain preferred 10 take MS ehancTs WI" tt
picture in the newspapers.-(Detroit Tribune.
OF greater effect at longer range than even the
shots from a Iebel Man rife Is the new bullet
invented by officer named HELLER OF the SWISS
Army 1t Is shaped somewhat after the fashion o,
a goose quill. and with charge only slightly over
81 grammes $50 grains) OF powder Will travel NV
yards and penetrate block OF wood 10 the depth
OF nine feet. At longer range the penetrating
power Is still great. as the shot will enter block
OF wood at distance OF 500 yards. or nearly three
and half mics.
Horrible Dream.-Caesar's wife-You seem Il. at
ease, my lord. What vexes YOU? 49, -.
Caesar-I dreamed last night. Corne'!a tha' mo
American papers, 1900 years from now, aier we!
had got tired OF Napoleon Bonapar;e. began print
Ing lot OF fake stories about me-tCAe"S'
Tribune
The question rs TO what constitutes a domesuc
animal and what Is meant by the term wild beast
is becoming more and more complicated. For wmle,
tho hand the Supreme Court o. Nary1aha
has recently decided that the cat Is Wild amman
within the meaning OF the law. the Supreme Court
OF Appeal In France has just issued decree 10 'he
effect that a wild bull is domestic animal TINS
remarka bic decision has been rendered In connection
with the question to the illegality OF buil-hSh'
ing. which has hitherto been quite as much OF a
national pastme In the south OF France as In SPAN
and Portugal Inasmuch "a the court has now
once and for all determined that bu-fshting IS
contrary TO law and therefore criminal. no one
need complain OF this Interpretation of the code'
except FOR the precedent that IL affords OF trans
forming Wild beasts into domestic pets by Legal
procedure instead OF by ordinary methods Of tam
ing.
A Jolly FellOw.-W tse-Why do the lrlenuS W
Sanchez that he Is such jolly fellow -,
Husband-Because he is always pleasant ana sUoI So,
tempered: he is very obging spends his nons!
freely and neglects his family shameful extent
Mons Calpe.
When Stuart Sinclair OF York. Penn. says iao
Philadelphia Inquirer" put his autograph on VI.
register OF the Lafayette hotel recently he drop''
the pen as II paralyzed a blank expression spis"H
over his face. and then he strobe across me o"S
To "A big mirror and intensely scrutniEed MS ~
Election, as II 10 gain assurance thar nc
really himself. Then he looked through MS pr
cts and pulling out every letter he cousd hhu
carefully read the addresses. The envelopes 10"
all been directed to stuart Sinclair" ana 80 uo
gentleman from York seemed TO be satished tha'
| there was no mistake. and he was really the MAJ
he had supposed himself 10 be. When Clerk ''ue''"
| sought to find a reason for his guests strange eo
| duct, he glanced at the register. and the'e. "
| rectly above Mr.. Slnc,air's name. was the sigma
! ture OF Sinclair Stuart, OF New-York Inc IVA"
! from York hunted up his counterpart from ->o"
York. and they smiled.
First Theatrical Manager-Well what Du , -
have you been doing out West with your III ' ,.il.
| "Jlm the Burglar" hear you engaged d '''' '
| bird for the part OF jim. =, ,,.,sos a, 20
| Second Ditto-Buslness? Grand! Houses IL ~
burst! Money In the cashbox as pientiiui as '"''
! But in the end we failed after all. J.,
First Ditto-How came that 10 pass! g., .,,r ira
Second Ditto-Why. you See Jim prohe 49, ...en.
cashbox and evaporated With the pie.-is~J
Hsxss.