The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1895-04-05
5elrtt Misfellunll.
uUM0RS OF THE BENCH AND BAR.

Mr. Soseph A. Willard is clerk of the
his forty years of experience in this and
other courts he has familiarly met many
lawyers and judges. He is well known in
Boston, but some of the anecdotes he tells
are not so well known. The veteran must
have kept a scrap hook in which he pasted
the stories that he read and heard. To
those that know the author, his introduc-
tory account of himself, his parentage, his
early studies and travels and his recollet-
tions of events of the first half of the cen
tury, will be interesting, but to the general
reader there is nothing so remarkable about
his official career as to call for special men
ton. One can imagine an old gentleman
enlarging upon his life to bevy of SYM
pathizers, but history is impartial as well
as merciless, and the fame of this useful
and courteous ornament of the superior
court has not extended beyond the juris-
diction of that tribunal His recollections
of the commonplaces of his life can well
be left for his relatives and personal friends
to enjoy.
But Mr. Wizards stories of the local bar
are different Judges and practitioners
are alike in all courts. There are testy,
stupid, brilliant, lazy, courteous, jocular
magistrates everywhere, just as there are
-awyers who are sycophantic, Independent,
Impertinent, magnetic, dull, pedantic, hui
morous, and plain-speaking Much of the
collection is familiar to the bar, and many
Of the stories have been printed. Yet
well-stocked library needs wall of this
kind, and it is well that Mr. Willard has
found leisure to publish his share. Among
the new and amusing anecdotes are the
following:
When Chief Justice Charles Allen was
Judge, the law as to the juries was different
from what it is now. They were known as
the first and second jury, and were sub
stantially the same men through the entire
term. At the end of a term at which the
chief justice had presided, he thanked the
first jury for their punctualty, attendance,
attention, and the generally satisfactory
verdict which they had rendered. When
he had finished, he said to the other jury;
Gentlemen, | wish l could say the same
to you; | think you could had done better"
Paul Willard to witness: DO you call a
horse that goes lame, all right?" Witness:
Il don't understand that Willard re-
peated the question, and got the same an
swer. Judge Ames, presiding, then said
''Do you call horse all right that goes
lames" Witness: "Oh, no, sir
| A man was complained of for stealing IA
| buffalo skin. 1t was proved that he took
it, and wrapping himself up in it, went in
to a shed and lay down to sleep. "Priso-
ner,' said the Judge, why did you take
that skim" Prisoner (shivering) Il was
very cold, sir ''Shouldn't you have taken
! it if YOU had not been cold:" Moo, NO
no, your honor" "Discharge him." said
the Judge; the intent takes away the
crime"
| The foreman of jury told Judge Lord
that one of the jury was drunk, when the
Judge said in stentorian voice, Mr.. B..
/ SIal1u up. MI D. IoSc, anu HIdSpcu llc
tail in front of him to steady himself.
Judge Are you laboring under a physical
disability.' Juror (reeling:) Not if l
knows myself" Judge: 1T has been in
timated to me that you have been indulg-
ing too freely in spirtuous liquors" Ju-
ror: II guess not" Judge: DO you think
YOU can try a case intelligently:' Juror;
Il guess l could under your honors in
structions in liquor case" Judge: Gen
tlemen of the jury, is Mr.. B. intoxicated:"
Jurors all Yes, sir Judge: Mr.. B.,
take yourself off the panel, and be here to-
morrow
Mr.. ii met him one day, and said: Il
see, Judge Lord, that the supreme court
has overruled you in the case of --