davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1895-02-06
is THAT ALL?
What the Single Tax Amounts To

Mr.. C. J. Buell. said, in last weeks
REPRESENTATIVE, that the Single
Tax would raise the tax on vacant
suburban st. Paul lot from $500 to
$4.64. Holy smoke! Is that all?
Would an increase of $l.55 compel a
rich man to give up lot worth sew
eral hundred dollars, and turn to a
poor man and say,-"Here; take this
lot and pay $l.55 extra, and build on
it, drop it,"
And even if the national taxes
tariff and all-were put on the lot,
Mr.. Buell. assures us, it would only
raise the tax from $500 to $9.2S-an
increase of Sc. 10. Can Mr.. Buell. find
any one who will say that such an in
crease would make him abandon sew
eral hundred dollars worth of property
and throw it away?
| takers:
They proposed to pile all the taxes
on the land so that the rich would be
obliged to relinquish it, and the poor
step in and take possession of it. But
when we pointed out that burden of
taxation great enough to drive rich
man off the land would certainly
crush the poor man who entered into
possession, brother Buell. turns around
and shows that the increased tax
would be so inconsiderable that it
wouldn't hurt anybody;-hence the
| ~ ri 1Of
and the poor man could not get pos
session of it! If the Single Tax is to
be effective it must be crushing;-and
if it is large enough to drive
out the millionaire it is
large enough to impoverish the
mechanic. And if it isn't large
enough to drive off the millionaire
then it does not attain it's alleged OBJ
ject:-to get the poor man home.
Brother Buell. is like the boy wh(
tried to sell a tanner a dogs hide.
"Was that dog fat?" asked the tan
ner.
"Fatr responded the boy, ''why he
was just the fattest dog you ever die
see"
"Well then,' said the tanner, s
don't want the hide. Fat dogs hide
are never good"
"Wall now mister" replied the boy
"See here!-I want to say that tina
dog was not so gaul darned almight
fat after ALL"
He was bound to sell the hide; an
was ready to adapt the facts to tn
necessities of the occasion. /. D.
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1895-02-06
AN IMPORTANT QUESTION.
Proportional Representation.

"The adoption at Wednesday even
inq's meeting of the Civic federation
at Bricklayers' hall, of resolution de-
claring "that there can be no perma-
nent correction of congressional, leg
islative, and municipal corruption un-
til the presen district or ward system
of representation is abolished and the
proportional system of represent ia tion
substituted therefor" is significant.
A large number Of workingmen were
present and took the llvellest interest
in the discussion. They asked the
sneaker a great many questions which
evinced a ready and intelligent grasp
Of the subject.-Chicago Times.
We think highly of the Proportional
Representation. Look at Minnesota.
We cast 81, 800 votes out of 296, ,249-
nearly one-third. Suppose we had
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1895-02-06
MORE FRUITS

OF the Pine Land Inye stigation.
While the st. Faul Globe is indus
triously engaged proving that the
Pine Land Investigation did no good,
and that the timbersthieves are all
gentlemen, items of news like the fol-
lowing crop out:
Estate Auditor Dunn, has received
for the state a check from T. 4. Foley,
of Aitkin against whom Judgment
was rendered In one of the pine tres
pass cases. The amount OF judgment
included the following items: Expen-
ses of committee, $467 90; expenses oJ
attorneys, $19s,S0; attorneys fees,
81 900; check to treasurer, Sc, ,O0 80; to
tai, $7,7O7,22. The check, submitted
by Mr.. Foley was for $7,673.60, leaving
$33 62, still due.
We wait to see il the present Legis-
lature will order the continuance OF
the Investigation. l. d.
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1895-02-06
The TWine Trust.

On January 3Oth and 31st, nearly all
the daily papers of Minneapolis and
St. Paul published long articles in ia
vor of overthrowing the manufacture
Of twine in the state prison at Still
water.
Evidently every rascal in the United
States understo TODD the recent 10000
Republican plurality to mean that the
gates were wide open and all the thieves
invited to come in and despoil the
people.
On with the dance! l. u.
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1895-02-06
Cash WHEAT 49 CTS.
That's the Price In
Chicago
And Sixty Thousand Republican
Plurality In Minnesota!
Think of IT,!

The Chicago Times Of January 3Oth,
said:
Cash wheat at 49 cents and Nav
delivery at 50 cents on the Chicago
board of trade yesterday. broke the
low price record for the United States
and in all probability for the world"
We wish all the asses in Minnesota,
who voted the Republican ticket last
November, in the belief that it would
bring good times, could be trotted up
and forced to contemplate that an
nouncement. With wheat 40 cents in
Chicago what is it worth in Mime
sofa?
And think of the poor mortgaged
people who are to pay their gold notes,
principal and interest, by the sale of
their wheat. 1t is enough to make the
angels weep. Id.
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1895-02-06
g. MINNEAPOLIS MINI. WEDNESDAY,

any other purpose. It is satan's organ.
1t has telephone connection with the
Internal regions: and every day
Wheelock asks the devil-"What can
we do next to injure mankind?" And
his majesty responds with a lot Of
fallacious arguments and lying statis-
ticS-prosy but pernicious. l. d.
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1895-02-06
WHAT CUsH DAVIS IS DOING.
Paid $1,000 a Year For Snoring.

We always knew that Minnesota
was great state, and that it was rep
resented in Washington by some of
the ablest men in the nation. And
yet we have been puzzled, at times, to
answer the inquiry:-"What is Cush
Davis doing?" Fortunately Wash
ington correspondent of the Chicago
Times has relieved our perplexity. 1t
turns out that the great Cushman is
not legislating but snoring. The
Times says:
'Since the days of Daniel Webster
and his chumS congressional ingenu-
ity has dictated way in which to
pull the wool over the eyes of Uncle
Sam and secure few hours extra
rest, but the most recent method is
that practiced by Coke of Texas,
Davis of Minnesota, Stewart of
Nevada, and Harris and Bate, of Ten
nessee. Not infrequently do they HE
themselves to the leather-covered
couches in the senate lobby and
few minutes ride around the gardens
Of dreamland. They are all great
snorers, and the music of this quintet
under full blast is as effective as Dud-
ley Bucks greatest organ voluntary
rolled off by the master hand. Harris
contributes an Eitfeltower like tenor;
Coke and Stewart furnish all the
notes of a chrOmatic scale, from mid
die to the third octave above, and
several other raspingly discordant
tones eXtempOriZed for the occasion.
while Bate keeps up the rhythm by a
rip-roaring, snorting, Plutonic bass.
This quinti-formed homo-organ is a
stronger combination than wheeling
steam calliope on circus day, and it
| exerts telling effect on all the sur
roundings. It is almost Orpheus-like,
SO much so in fact that the lobby
| doors have to be closed TO prevent the
enchanting strains from drawing the
| colleagues of the sfeepers from their
seats and leaving the senate without a
quorum"
Now, some OF our captious readers
may think it an Imposition on the
public to have to pay $1,000 year for
the tuneful music Of the nostrils of
even tatesman. But that shows a
narrow view of the subject. A criti-
cal listener, standing in the magnifi-
cent lobby, could no doubt, detect in
the spasmodic gruntings Of the olfac-
tory Davis, fragraments of his great
essay ON "Modern Feudalism m, that
burst of radicalism which made him
Senator, and which now enables him to
snore away the golden hours on the
senatorial lounges.
The ancient Greeks flocked to the
temple Of Delphos, to gather from the
disjointed utterances of the narcot
ised sybil, intimations of futurity
Who is there will find the key to the
roarings of Davis's nostrils and ex
tract therefrom musical suggestions
for the government of the nation?
Unhappy America! The Gold-Bugs
dominate our government and oul
rulers sleep.
Wrong rules the land and waiting justice
| SnOreS."
Sleep on! Let Nero make his horse
consul and gild his oats. Sleep on
while the people think. l. d.
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1895-02-06
The Devils Advocate.

When you want to find out what
rascality Satan intends to practice
next on the people of Minnesota, read
the Pioneer-Press. But don't read it for
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1895-02-06
proportional representation. Then

prUpOrC1OnaI repreSentatlO Then
instead Of IA votes in the Legislature
We should have about so votes. In
stead of no congressman we should
have two. AS it is now party with
one majority out of million votes
takes everything and the other half
million arc as powerless as if they
lived in Kamschatka.
Give us proportional representation
and the initiative and the referen-
dunn. Let us hear from our friends
in the Forum on these issues.
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1895-02-06
Magnaninity.

The Minneapolis Times says, / have
not treated Washburn and his accom-
plices with proper magnanimity.
What magnanimity did they show
me when they not only drove me out
of public life; reduced me to poverty;
ridiculed my books; covered me with
abuse; and agonized all those who
were dear to me; but forced me to 60
into court of justice to defend my
good name, when these scoundrels
knew perfectly well.- for they were in
the center of all the rottenness. that
T had been honest in the midst of cor
ruption? Magnanimous! Was God
magnanimous to the devils when he
drove them into He'll? No one knows
how long ago that was, but he hasn t
''let up on them" yet; and-if the
Christian creed is right,-he never
will!
Magnanimity to scoundrels is dis
loyalty to ojustice. You cannot change
the nature of tiger by patting him
on the back and calling him good
| fellow; he will devOur you and youl
compliments in the same breath. II
| pardon one knave is to encourage 9
| hundred others. l have all charity
| for the weaknesses Of mankind, bu1
not a practcle for it's strong rascali
| ties.
| The evil these men have done was
not to me alone-but to the whole hu.
man family. They have corrupted the
public conscience, befouled the ballot
box and imperilled free institutions
Let them be accursed living, and re
membered dying, as enemies of thei
| country and of mankind. /. d.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1895-05-26
Crcdulity Of Russian pea,an,-r.

a writer in q French review tells
curious story serving to show the misery
and credulity Of the peasantry in some
districts of Russia, as well as the au-
dacity OF the INSCRIPTIONS swindlers tyy
whom they are sometimes fleeced. An
adventurer was recently tried Mt Saratof
for having induced number Of peasants
to abandon to his keeping all their world
" possessions, with the view Of emf
grating under his guidance to-Jupiter.
There they were to find land in album
dance. easy to work and marvelously fer
tile When the local authorities inter
vened. it was found that quite band of
emigrants were preparing to start for
the blessed planetary colony. We arc not
told what defense was made by the pris-
oner, but it was quito apparent that his
dupes were aware that it was to no ter
restrial land of promise that he was to
lead them. He was therefore indicted
and condemned for spreading false re-
ports about Jupiter. "-Westminster Ga.
zette.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1895-05-26
knights of the nIaccabees.

The State commander writes us from
Lincoln, Neb., as follows: "After trying
other medicines for what seemed to be q
very obstinate cough in our two chill.
dren, we tried DR.. Kings New Dis
covery, and st the end Of two days the
cough entirely left them. We will not
be without it hereafter, as our expert
ence proves that 1t cures where ell other
remedies fail. Signed, r. W. STEVENS,
State Oom.-Why not give this great
medicine trial, as 1t Is guaranteed
and trial bottles are free at Christian q
Barbee's drug store. Regular size, sos.
andal
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1895-05-26
THE ROANOKE TIMES, SUNDAY. NAY %, 1895.
Mr. Jefferson yielding to the environ.
mputS nud covinU.

hiSHsS anu saying.
Alas, poor Yorick! vas acquainted
with him. knew him, Horatio, consid-
erable He vas all der dime making
ohokes. Vonce blay horse nit Yorick
and ride on his pack / 900 times
Look at his intellectual town lots.
never know we look dot way OH the head
ven We are dead N.Y. My Myl
Dot blaze you tink vas der baseball
ground vos mirthfulness and funny bust
hess vot he got Oh his prains. Dot vos
funny Yorick! Here you sec some moro
| nice faculties he got marked oud NIT
plue bencil. Dot vos de blaze we're no
t'lnk of his home. Dot is we're he lofe his
wife. She is marrit two times now since
dot 1000 legged worm got his nest in
poor Yorlck's love of his vifei Poor
Yorick! Vot make you shmile like dot?
You t'ink you got de laff on Mrs. Yorick?
Eth?
II pet you. If you could now speak to
he, Yorick, NIT dose chapless chaws and
dot pallhead, NIT intellectual additions
marked out on de oudside, you would
said to me, RIP Won Wingle, I tolt Won
py oursefs Mrs. Yorick she cuts no ice
NIT meP
Still dot vas de same nit Alexander.
You might trace Aleck till he yos a rail.
road init moggage on him or a fair
ground. We must all come to dot, Ho-
ratio, some day when we are dead. We
must not be stuck up too much.
"Chorge Washington and Charlotte
Corduroy vos like dot. They come to be
dust by and by. All the great men vot
hat to keep sober and make the after
dinner sbeoches must be like dot.
"Imperious Caesar and Henry Clay
both dead, you can't tell witch is the
other one
But 1 never know Yorick have his
faculties marked out dot way nit plue
bencll, SO he can find out vot he is t'ink-
ing about. Maybe ho get dot prains
plotted ont dot way so he can tell vot his
taxes vas and den he can pc careful and
not overtax his prains. Yorick vas u
funny man. bet you dot ven the angels
get tired i'll the recording office they like
to come and fold their wings and spend
the effening NIT Yorick.
The Queen wore during this perform
ance now dolman that was very much
admired. and after pouring the poison
i'll her husbands ear she won the hearts
of both one and all by stepping to the
upright piano, which stood against a
tree in the royal garden, and singing
stanza of little musical hit, beginning,
Il don't like to play in your yard,
or something of that kind, to attract at
tention from whole passle of Danes
who were taking the corpse to the am
bulance.
Ophelia wore new street dress and
came i'll on rubbers. Mr.. Booth had all
he could do to keep her from playing the
part supported by small white dog,
and the manager says that in the burial
scene she had to get up out Of her grave
twice to drive the dog back.
Mr. Jacques said that everything was
perfectly dignificd except this wretched
dog.
He bit the ghost twice on the calf of
the leg and got all tangled up in the
mosquito netting. (The ghost wore mos
quito netting over a macintosh
Yet with all these odd surroundings,
even when Laertes looked at his watch
to see if the funeral was due, and when
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1895-05-26
BOONE AND THE INDIANS.
Tho Old Kentucky Hunter Was u Prisoner
InHThcir Hands For nIonths.

Boone frequently took to tho field OH
set expeditions against the savages.
Once when he and u party of other men
were making salt ut lick, they wero
surprised and carried off by the Indians
Tho old hunter was prisoner with them
for some months, but finally made his
escape and came home through the track
less woods as straight as the wild pigeon
flies He was ever on tho watch to ward
off the Indian inroads and to follow the
war parties and try to rescue the pris-
OncrS
Once his own daughter and two other
girls who were with her were carried
off by q band of Indians. Boone collected
some friends and followed them steadily
for two days and night Then they
came to where the Indians had killed q
buffalo calf and were camped. Firing
from little distance, they shot two In
dians, and rushing in rescued the girls.
On another occasion, when Boone had
gone to visit q salt lick with his brother,
tho Indians ambushed them and shot the
latter. Boone himself escaped, but the
Indians followed him for three miles by
the aid of tracking dog, until Boone
euhASot cAAoo eiiO uOS tihtl tIleA cluUSQ HIS
pursuers. In company with Simon Ken
ton and many of the noted hunters and
wilderness warriors he once and again
took part in perilous expeditions into
the Indian country. Twice bands of In
dams, accompanied by French, Tory
and British partisans from Detroit, bear
ing the flag of Great Britain, attacked
Booncsboro. In each case Boone and his
fellow settlers beat them off with loss.
At the fatal battle of the Blue Licks,
in which 200 of tho best rifemen of
Kentucky were beaten with terrible
slaughter by great force of Indians
from tho lakes, Boone commanded the
left wing. Leading his men, rif1o in
hand, he pushed back and overthrow
the force against him. But meanwhile
the Indians destroyed tho right wing
and center and got i'll tho rear, so that
there was nothing for Boonc's men ex-
cept to fec with all speed Theodore
Roosevelt in ST Nicholas
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1895-05-26
WELLINGTON WAS WARNED.
"A Design Which Might Have Materially
Affected the Destiny of Europe.

"A Design Which Might Have Materially
Affected the Destiny of Europe.
The story goes that Wellington used
to ride over daily, with one or two of
his staff, from his headquarters at St.
Jean dc Luz, and take his stand on tho
top of q wooded sand hillock, called
Blanc Pignon, on the left bank of the
Adour, Which commands view of both
banks and the town itself two miles up
stream. This had been noticed by the
French, who had still command of the
river and the opposite shore, and the
Jealous sailor aforesaid, Bourgeois by
name, conceived the plan of entrapping
the great English captain by lying In
ambush for him, with few men.
among the underground ON the sand
dune, which happened to be ON neutral
ground Just outside the line of French
picketA
General ThouvcnOt very honorabfy Che
clincd to sanction this tricky proceeding,
but, seeing through his glasses from the
clock tower of the cathedral In Bayur1ne
that it w8s actually being carried out,
notwithstanding bis disapproval, be cent
mounted orderly, as fas8 as he could
SdAkOpb OOHA LIZ fOVhl OIl tl0 USIIlB
OF the river (tbe present site Of the Al
lees Marines) pass tho French pickets,
to ~nrn Wellington Of his danger The
message WIS just In time When within
short distance Of tho ambush, awniti1g
him ON the narrow little track winding
up the sand dune, he turned his horse
and moved quietly OFF in another direc-
ton
So says tho story, which, entirely DO
heved by the French, is placed m record
by Morel, declared in footnote 10 To
correct, and then (1S46) within the
memory of living witnesses. We can en-
tlrely agree with the author in his sue
ceeding remark, "Thus, by one of those
strange chances beyond all human ex-
PLANTATION, there fell through design
which might have materially charged
the course Of events. "-Macmillan' 8
Magazine.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1895-05-26
Terriblel

Mrs. Gray-What a terrible thing has
happened to the Blacks Mr.. Black was
coming home from his club the other
night and ne fell down and broke his leg
SO badly that he has had to have it am
putated
Mrs. Green-Lost his leg Isn't it
awful! And his family saw so little of
him before Boston Transcript
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1895-05-26
His Little Trap.

Storekeeper-How did you ever man
age to get such crowds of women i'll
your store?
Retired Merchant-Well, now that 1
have gone out.of business myself I don't
mind telling you. In the first place, I
used to advertise. In the second place,
didn't you ever notice those two big
plate glass mirrors just inside the en-
trance doors?-Somerville Journal.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1895-05-26
A Field of Relics.

Eyes, sir" said the Georgia land
agent to the northern prospector, "you
kin pillow up peck ho bullets here ev-
cry week"
"But are they genuine?"
"You bet they air Don't buy 'em
an plant EN- myself? An right whar
you're a-standin is n bombshell that
traded COW for, an it's gittin jest as
rusty as If it wuz throwed thar by the
war l"-Atlanta Constitution.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1895-05-26
A Female Fire Brigade.

The credit of saving the large railroad
restaurant from destruction by fire mt
Rockingham Junction, n H., Is due to
the young ladies employed at the rcstau-
rant. Manager Graves gave each girl wa
ter pail, and they mounted the roof, and
by systematic arrangement the water
was passed up to them one phil Mt timo
and ompticd on tho slowly burning tim
bcr whenever it blazcd cut ancw. It was
an interesting sight.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1895-05-26
@x4A <we


An echo of the war between Japan
and China is the statement that jap
anese scout fell into the hands of tho
Chinese. His captors went to the Chi
ncsc commander and said:
General, we have captured Japa-
nese spy.
What luck" exclaimed the general.
Perhaps he can tell mo where my army
is !-Youth's Companion.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1895-05-26
(Copyright, 1895, by Edgar W. Nyc.1

(Copyright, 1896. by Edgar W. Nyc.1
On the pleasure exertion" which 1
took last spring in company with others,
all of whom missed a watery grave by the
merest chance, there were two passen-
gers from Waterbury, Conn, called by
our crew the first and second WATERBURY
watch.
One was the Jeanial Jacques, who runs
the opera house ut Waterbury, and the
other was DIR. Axtelle, who keeps Water.
bury out of the jaws of death.
At Mr.. Jacques opera house Edwin
Booth and his company played "Ham-
Iet' without costumes. I had heard
about it, but only indirectly. So I asked
Jean to give me the facts.
1t seems that at first Mr.. Booth gave
up all idea of playing i'll tho absence of
the costumes, and the company said,
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1895-05-26
Ambiguous,

A provincial paper concluded an nc
count of local wedding with the fol-
lowing surprising announcement:
The bridegroom present to the bride
was handsome diamond brooch besides
many other beautiful things in cut
glass. "-Youth's Companion.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1895-05-26
Unde,erved Fame.

$50 you donot think that Shakespeare
had an original mind?'
"No, I do not. Why, just look over
his writings and you II find thousands
Of instances where he used whole sem
fences that are i'll cverybody's mouth
and as common as household words. -
Boston Transcript.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1895-05-26
Gave It Up.

Mrs Urban-So you feared to remain
In the country any longer2 We're you
afraid Of tramps?
Mrs. Lawnville--No, was afraid Of
the terrible dogs we had to have to scare
tramps New York Weekly.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1895-05-26

Horatio telephoncd for the ambulance in
the last act, the wonderful beauty and
strength of the lines and the melancholy
dignity Of the great tragedian won every
heart, and with the close of the perform
ance tremendous, aggregated, sympa-
thctic sigh came up like the first stealthy
approach Of great billow along the
sand, and then the mighty wave of ap-
plause followed with tho roar that swells
the actors heart.
AS Booth threw down tho scabbard of
his X. p. sword, he turned his eyes on
Horatio and said, "If wo had played
Hamlet at the Princess theater as we
played it tonight, the results would have
been different"
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1895-05-26
ErIendless.

Have yon any friends in this city?',
asked the paying teller ut the bank.
mo, he replied I'm q baseball
umpire. "-Washington Star.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1895-05-26
Very Suanicinus.

May think Count dc Rox is DO.
gus nobleman.
Pamela-Why?
May-He has plenty of money
Brooklyn Life.