The free press. (Poplarville, Miss.) 1890-19??, 1895-04-25
BOB AND HIS UNCLE
Chicago Mans Christmas Gift of
Watch Traded Off for Skates.

| A Chicago man made mis- nephew
present last Christmas ofia watch. The
nephew lives in Indiana "A few days
after the present the beneficiary of the
| gift sent his uncle a telegram, collect,
| like this:
watch received. Does 1t keep Chi
| cago or New York time? BOB"
The uncle replied byiletter that 1t
could be made to keep either. 1t was
constructed that way on purpose. With
in forty eight hours andtner dispatch.
collect, was received by, the uncle. 1t
was like this:
watch an hour ahead Chicago time,
an hour behind New York. What'll
! do? BOB.
The uncle answered THAT, by mail,
explaining what might be done, and
| had postscript as follows:
when you want to know anything
more about the watch. write-don' ttele-
graph. Messages cost money"
Then there was silence for az few
DAYS. One morning at breakfast the
uncle was handed a message which
read:
Dear Uncle: 1t won't run atfaU. l
send this night message cause 1t costs
only half as much as day rate.
BOB"
The uncle was annoyed, but amused,
at the boys persistence and curious
idea of economy. Il was q boy my
self" he said to his elder brother. Then
he wrote to Bob to take the. watch to
the matchmaker. have him, fix 1t, and
send the bill to Chicago. Two days
later another message:
"Uncle: Man says he, don't know
YOU. But he knows me. I'm suffering
for time so send this by;wire.
bob"
The uncle forgot. that he had been
boy and wrote his nephew sharp let
ter lecturing him for!not observing his
request.
"You made a mistake when you pre-
sented that boy with,a watch, said the
uncle's elder brother-s what lhe needs
is a hammer"
"The mischief has been DONE" said
the uncle, land eX-post facto remarks
on your part are out.of order"
A few days later another message,
night rate:
Uncle: Shipped watch to you to-
night by express. Man here says you
can have it mended:in. Chicago cheaper
than he can do it. BOB"
A few hours later a4package was laid
orrthe uncle's deslr Charges 80 cents.
OF course he raved, put the watch in
his desk, and vent about his business
trying to forget it. Two days later this
message:
Dear Uncle: Didlyou get her? Sent
her day before yesterday. Answer.
bob"
The uncle took the watch to the firm
from which he bought it, left 1t, and
wrote to Bob enjoiling silence on his
part until he received the watch. Then
the uncle was called out of town and
did not return for three weeks. He
found on his desk two frantic messages
and two letters from Bob. The office
boy had receipted for the messages
and left them there. The last message
read:
"If / don't get her'in two days your
conduct in the transaction will be pub
lished In our paper. The editor says it's
n GOOD one on Won. BOB"
The uncle concluded it was diplomacy
to answer this by wire He sent this:
Bob: Have been out of town. Just
returned. Watch goes down tonight.
"UNCLE."
Two days later this from Bob (col
lecD:
"Watch received. Not the same watch
YOU sent before. Is this what | read
about as a confidence game? l should
think you'd be ashamed to play it on
your own blood. BOB"
The uncle Investigated. The concern
had sent the wrong watch. Telegram
from uncle to Bob:
Bob: Watchmaker's mistake. Your
own watch goes down tonight. Re-
turn other to matchmaker here
JUNGLE"
Two days later +, Message from Bob
| (cOllecU:
Uncle: Watch received. don't
know watchmakers name nor address
In Chicago. So send it to you. Sorry
to trouble you. BOB"
The uncle sat down in the same at
titude and despair as that described by
novelists where the hero gets it in the
neck at every turn.
"If / ever see that boy again l will
lame him for life" said the uncle to
his brother. THAT watch has cost me
in messages and express charges almost
as much as paid for the drafted thing
originally. And the little rascal has
gone and told the chain of transactions
to the editor Of the sheet that Is printed
in his town."
The other brother stroked his beard
and said he made it a rule to never