Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1895-07-27


demonstrated Just why there shouid NC
kicking when the Richmonds are mo, >,
than n hundred points to the sooo
hard TO understand. The TACT ina, Wy
old Virginia club outclassed the otnei9
I'm the league broke up base-bal mere
several years ago. 80 let us hope that 'nls
will not be the case again. hicH'i'oi''
can and will win the pennant: ScoIT ine
a safa hit on that, please. ana don let
- anv more errors by fault-hndins
and rrumbling at the players. IL Is
reollv surprising how good-natufeuiy
,,rosorne a number Of These tiresomely
good-natured advisers can make 'n'h-
selves.
7 am mighty glad I am not n milton
afro That's honest and | mean II. Inc
fellow that's worth ten hundred thou-
s,nd &c a slave. indeed he Is, ana the
bigger his bank account gets the Bledter
slave he becomes. The average mliiioh-
| afro don't have rs much fun IN year
rs do on one 50-cent excursion on the
| p,oabo,,os have two or three mil
| liouaire friends who come arouha 10 my
bouee occasionally and take bite oil
| broad and a glass of tea. l declare u
| docs nv old heart good 70 see these poor
| devils eat a meal and look as thoush
| tbev enioyed Il. OF course when they
! dine AT home with a menu ut Tor hlns'
! the thought Of the butchers nh 'ne
| grocer's bill, the confectioner DILL anu
! other bills, put them to thinking opou,
] business, and this board Wee,'ns
! mar hoard meeting. and the other boaiu
! meeting. and bless your soul they are
eo nllcd with cares and anxie'les, that
/ ,bere ie no room for dinner. WORK
| nrht hard sometimes when the CITY Edl-
| tor Is not feeling very well whlch ISM
| often. but the millionaire is pushed WIN
! business or business is pushing him all
the time. The poor fellow has so many
| irons In the fire that some are burning
| his fingers while others are Setuhs Coiu'
! Ue is presidcnt Of this concern, director
r. ,bat ana trustee in another. world
without end. and still others coming.
| When | go home at night, or In the morn
| lnr mavhaps, ! raise this Irllby form
! above the worrying cares ana lghOble
| strife OF the madding crowds ana lay
| me down 20 sleep with the CONSCIOUSNESS
! Of having served my paper wei, ana l
| sleop. too. Not go with the feilow whose
bank account takes UP nine columns IN
| the ledger He hasn't time 10 sleep ana
whom he mashes the feathers In his pill
low n night he IS So full OF business
MANS and schemes, and hopes and fears
that rest such as the pure In heart en-
tov comes not to him. No. sir, ! doh
| want 10 be a millionaire.
|
4 very little happiness and n great
/ deal OF worry. and the story OF many
q human life Is told. 4 few days OF
| Measure az the end of the month, when
| the collectors are resting up anu pre-
paring their bills for the first ana then
several weeks OF worry ana dodSihs'
and Won have Il all. Men are the
! %.
! During the heydey Of youth their posses
sions are rag babies few marbles ana
a sore toe. How well indeed do ! Temem-
| Der the latter possession, ana now IL al
| WAYS happened that. though | had nihe
others. the poor little afflicted member
| generally c0lllded with everything III
reach. When people grow htile oIder
| tnev become weighted down with care
ana love affairs. and are filed with Ice
cream potent medicine. and the like
! When they grow old they have a VIII
and the rheumatism. and I'm some IN
| stances a few children and gran4chhdren
| 10 enjoy anything that they may by chahce
| have. The millionaire worries on account
Of his possessions. and the poor man be-
cause he has none People are Just az
certain 10 worry every day they live as
| Knox IS to kick In a game of ball, ana
| fortv-nlne out Of fifty will look at their
l
| magnifying glass thus making them APP
pear long way of.
read in the Dispatch few lays ago
that my friend Ben. Palmer, had ne"
| remedy for a baking horse. l like Ben,
and that society he r. treasurer Of Is
| doing "A lot OF good I'm this town. Jud.
| Wood who seems to be grand-high-cock-
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. Of the orgdniza-
ton. IS also mighty nice fellow. The
! teamsters here abOuts stand IN mortal
fear Of the little doctor, and well they
NAV. for he will put them In jail for
cruelty 10 the animals just as quick as
[ would take - drnk-of lmeade with
| Hugh Card0Za. But, as | was saying
William BENJAMIN Palmer has nice
sweet remedy for "a baking horse. Now
| II there is anything on earth calculated
10 make man forget church Obligations
! quicker than a baking horse. ! doh
| know what It Is unless it's mule.
/ understand that the members OF this SO
| cietv for the Prevention Of Cruelty 10
Animals go around with their pockets
! full Of sugar all the time. and If horse
is seen In the baking state, handful
| of sugar t. thrown In his mouth The
| souine begins at once TO chew the sac
! charine substance, the Society Tor the
| Prevention of Cruelty 70 Animals man
| cluCks TO him, ana away ne goes. Al
any rate that's been my friend Palmer $
experience. and il beats whipping all
hollow, and may save you trouble WIN
Gud. W. I'm the Police Court. Some wise
man has found out that a horse can only
think Of one thing az time, and that
kicking horse will never Kick If you can
attract his attention from his hind legs.
The same rule applies 70 the baking
horse As soon As he begins T. chew the
sugar he forgets about baking. Meal
or brand. or anything he can chew will
answer the same purpose as sugar, so IL
Is said.
AS | said last week, | am not a kicker,
but | notice some bicycle riders spinning
around the streets with little children
strained to the handle bars which Is
dead wrong | believe If the wee ones
could talk, they would say they were not
getting a quadrilateral distribution. which.
10 be commonplace means square deal
II there had been any wheels in the
days Of the great and wise Solomon, and
the old gentleman had been a deyotee of
the silent steed. I'll bet a Bill Gossette
perfecto that he would never have been
caught whirng about with poor little
Rehoboam tied up in front Of him. II
may be new method some people have
OF getting rid OF their children, but |
don't like il, and to say the least, 1t is
very dangerous. BE It said 10 their credit,
there are only few riders here who
engage in the practice.
I am great admirer OF poetry, and
frequently sit up all night drinking IN the
rvthmic effusions Of some poetic genius
who has poured forth his soul in pleasing