West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1895-02-07
JANUARy's Shetland ICE.

D"'" W 80 'hc UofSt In tue memory
OF the Oldest People--Serious Aeei.
dents TO Man and Beast.-Stacks of
Side-splitting Pun as Seen by n
ReedsyiIle Correspondent.
On the evening of the 9th. one of
those chilling East storms that curls a
fellow up in the chimney corner where
the chilIs play Hide and Seelz',,up and
down his spine, set i'm. During the en-
tire night the rain and sleet fell in tor
rents. freezing on the trees till they
were unable TO bear their coat of mail.
and large timber was broken down by
the weight of ice. The greatest dam
age being done TO fruit trees. Whole
orchards were almost absolutely de-
stroyed.
But, Mr.. Editor, this is not the fun
we want To tell you about, as IL was
not the one where the FUN CANE IN.
and cured us of the BLUES for a season.
On Friday evening, the goth, another
storm from the East set in and sheeted
the world with coat of ice that EAR
outrivaled it predecessor, and, indeed.
occasioned remarks from the oldest
people that IL surpassed anything of
the kind within their recollection. On
Saturday morning, when the suns rays
fell asfance over its CLASSY surface, IA
poetical scene was presented; and we
felt that there ought to be a Homer
to describe il. THIS we shall defer. as
Homer, being dead. we have no desire
to take any undue advantage or pre-
sumo upon his fame CD But the ice
having no snow under il, lay upon the
ground compact, rendering it impossi-
BILE to get over its polished surface with
out occasioning "a smile to Turk about
the corner OF bystander's mouth.
ready, ut any moment to run riot over
his features. And this occasioned no
ofense whatever on the part OF the
parsonage who gave the free circus"
for each fellow in turn got MS laugh.
And, Mr.. Editor, il you could have
stood on the corner OF Market Square.
Saturday, and taken in the sights, you
would not wonder now why our mouth
looks like it had been put on hot and
spread over our face We saw holes
torn in the atmosphere, knees knocked
together all manner OF gyratious and
change Of base, eliminating in the fol-
lowing curtailed synopsis:
Joe Manear, badly mutilated wrist
from falling on n cross-cut saw.
Casper Born, seriously cut from fall
ing on drawing-knifs.
d. q. Watson, hand and wrist badly
sprained
Jennie Loar, patella fractured
Following victims seriously, but not
fatally, hurt:
Charles Wheeler was coasting down
the alley on a small sled, which ran
against curb-stone, unloading Charles
against the next curb-stone, forcing
two joints of vertebr@ above the top
of his head. viii recover.
Dave Loar descended tire same alley
on the small OF his back with two buck
cts of water, at the sacrifice OF "A yard
square cuticle. Dawes still mad.
Jim Dill's head and feet instanta-
neously snapped ends, removing the
occipetal bone. Patient doing we'll
Major Dill used his elbows for ice
cutters in descending a hill for about
forty feet Major says he'll not apply
for patent
John Gross got his trousers torn off
in wreck, and hastily replacing them
while yet dazed, got them reversed ::
and when asked If he was hurt, said
The believed he was fatally twisted"
The saddest accident in the whole
category befell Tom Loar, who started
with horse and sleigh to take his girl
out sleighing. In going down steep
hill. the sleigh ran over the horse and
upset. This frightened the horse so
that it started to run, fell down, and
horse, sleigh, driver and all reached the
bottom of the hill in hopeless confu-
sion. In the general disturbance Tom
lost his pants, and had to hide in a coal
bank till dark before he could return
| home.
| Mr.. Editor, the HALF has not been
told, but the ladies forbid