davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23
bright BITS.

why He Did It.-"Johnny, Johnny DO
Keep quiet. You're talking ain the time
Knows Dat, papa. | want to learn
now. is ,dess pwactisin'. Harper S
Slash: Why did your church fire your
pastor? '0N'
Cash: Cause he preached from the text
EVefy cloud has Silver Lining. -
Louisville Courier-Journal
She: Can you spare me a little chance
tn morning?
lie: Certainly. Go and spend few DAYS
win your mother. The change will do Us
botn gOod.-St. Pauis
-JinSon: Doctor, l am getting too stout
Tor comfort and / want YOUR advice
Doctor: Nothing reduces flesh ike wor-
~. Spend two hours a day thinking OF
lhe unpaid bills you owe me.-Spare Mo-
ments. ..f.
Cashier (excltedly): I have Just dis
covered that the receiving teller is Lead
ing double life: What shall we do?
PRESIDENT (coolly) Reduce his salary
one-half One life is enough for teller.
st. James Budget.
Rev. Mr.. Grimes to Judge Tort: Now.
when you have n particularly bad boy
come com before you, what is the first 4ues-
Judge Tort 1 ask him, Where does
your father preach ?-Tammany Times.
-"Bieycling is quite fad nowadays. IS
said wilkes. Il fancy it's because it's
cheap"
That, shows that you don't know any
thing about it," said Barlow. MY FIRST
lesson cost me dollar for the lesson, Sc
for damages to the bicycle 81 for arnica,
and a weeks salary owing to absence
from business with a busted ankle and a
broken head. "-Haper's Bazaar.
Tax Collector: Really Mr.. Biggs. |
can't accept this income tax return of
yours as correct You say your income Is
$4,000 and yet you live a the rate of
$4,000 q year.
Biggs That's all right my dear sir.
Ihat lg income on TO,
That extra $4,000 is an expense in nv
business.
Tax Collector; In what way?
pleasures of life. If she isn't the bnsi-
ness of married man, don't know what
is.-Harper's Bazar
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23
Helping Bun Along.

The most genial fellow l ever met"
said Dave Burlington of BroOkville the
other day, according to the PunXsutawney
Spirit, was a man in a one-horse wagon.
! never saw him before in my life that
/ know of, but he knew me. He caught
up to me just above the iron bridge on the
road that leads TO the depot The bridge
was being repaired, and horses and We
hicles had TO ford the stream, while foot
passengers could pick their way across
on planks.
Hello. Buff he said, cheerily. 'Ges
in and II haul you over
II didn'a altogether like the idea" con-
tinued Burlington, but he greeted me
cepted his invitation He drove into the
water, and not knowing exactly where
the best fOrding place was he soon got in
up to the hubs and then over the wagon
bed"
Buff, old boy. you'll have to hold your
feet up, he said.
Then the wagon bed was submerged,
and the water came over the seat.
g. Bun, Old boy-guess you'll have to
stand up
Il stood up.
The fellow by this time had lost his
bearings completely, and we went into
a plout hole about ten feet deep and
the horse had to swim AS the wagon
box sank beneath the water he yelled
with the same cheerful voice.
swim.
we both swan out, and after the fell
low had his horse safely landed on the
other side he said as he climbed back in
Well. Buff, old boy, you got wet,
didn't you? Good-by, Buff old boy.
Il ought really to have killed the fell
low, but he was so heartily polite that
time I am q little wary of people who get
too friendly on short acquaintance.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23
Personal.

"A great big goo.I-natured man. 6 feet
=, weighing 20 pounds and fond OF talk
ing i the DESCRIPTION Of II Hung Chang
gwen by John W. Fosters secretary.
The money has been subscribd for the
glneer Aneree TO the North Pole The
baiioon VIII be made in Paris az a cost
Of $500.
DIR Thomas .Barnardo Of London
viii celebrate the fiftieth anniversary Of
MS birth this year. Thirty years ago
ne began the work Of rescuing and train
i NE homeless boys. and his success in
thls Work has made his name known In
every part Of the world.
a week ago the Rev r. s. Vincent.
pastor OF the Pencader Presbyterian
church. Wilmington, Del, announced to
~ hSFegation his withdrawal from
the Fresbyterian church. and his inten-
tlon or Joining the Episcopal church. He
mas taken this step because he holds the
views ,, put forth by Prof Briggs. and Tor
IIat reason believes that he viii be more
AT nome in the Episcopal church
Mrs Mary Steelman Disston, widow
OF HenrF DisstOn, the founder Of the
great Philadelphia saw-making works,
mas just died at the age OF a. She was
descended from James and Catherine
Steelman, whose parents were among the
original colOnists who founded SWe1es-
6oro Her grandfather was Mai John
Steelman OF revolutionary times on her
motner side she comes from the Stow
FAMILY, John Stow, who recast the Lib
cry Dell. Delng her grandfather she
married Nov. 9, 1913, by whom she had
nine children, four of them surviving
her. These are Hamilton, Horace c.,
William and Jacob 5.
Francis Schlader, who was a shoe
maker IN Denver two years ago, Is now
WOrshlpped as Christ in New Mexico. He
travels about the country healing the
MANNED, the halt and the blind, and will
take no money for his cures. At Peralta
Ine 0ther day he restored the sight of Je-
sus Ma Nolusquez. who had been blind for
three years. Juliana SOdillO. who had not
moved her arms for sixteen years, was
cured by him and is now working in the
nelds Recently a watch was put on him
day ana night for eight DAYS and il was
no. food. Such are the stories which honest
siah.
-Remenyi tells this story about IAszt
W men he was Z years OH he already
played ike a gTown-up master Bach's
preludeS and fugues. one day his father
Adam List, who was a good all-around
ntaId mute Liszt playing one Of Bachs
IOur-part fugues, but the fugue was writ
teh IN another key than the one I'm which
httle List was then playing The father
was appalled,. He knew too well that his
son had no intention whatever to trans
pose the intensely Dolvphonic fOur-part
tugue He knew that it was being done
unconSCiOusly. He asked the bow WHY
ne ava not play II I'm the right key. The
itltle Fellow was astonished and asked
II the lugue was not written In the key
he was playing in. No: IL was written in
+ fiat and not In G.. The musician knows
wen what It means to transpose compli-
cdteu piece to another key; but for a Z
ytdI-old boy to transpCse q fOur-part fu-
cue OF Bach to key a third belowi
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23

MY dear Mrs. Anderson, how is 1t that
your children never give you the slightest
trouble when you have guests at dinner?
You have no nurse to amuse them, yet
never a sound is heard from the little
chaps"
"Oh, 1 turn them over to my husband
when we have company, Mrs. Brown. He
is such a dear fellow, you know"
is always at the head of the table. What
does ne do with them during dinner?"
George is a mathematician, YOU know,
and his business in life is solving prob
lens. He has discovered that whenever a
child is in mischief, doing something real
deVilish, George calls It, he is quiet and
Well-behayed He works upon that prn-
ciple when we have company For in
stance, last night, when you and Mrs.
Smith and Mrs. Rogers and Mrs. Jones
were here you though the children were
asleep. did you not? Nothing of the sort.
George had quieted them in his own way.
He locked them In a lumber room and
vowed and declared he would whip the
first who touched a box OF water colors
he had left purposely on the floor
"And the poor little things sat there in
silence all through the dinner, afraid to
move?"
"Oh dear, no! They began painting
each others faces and hands as soon as
George left the room, and kept it UP till
bedtime. George always does something
like that"
But weren't they sights?"
Certainly, but they didn't spoil our din
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23
A GrImn Convention Incident.

The Atlanta Journals special corrc-
spOndent reports this incident OF the free
silver convention at Griffin the other day.
On the front seat sat an old man, with
sorrel whiskers on his face. He was a
rampant advocate Of free silver and an
ardent hatsr Of the President and his
cabinet. This was shown by the frantic
manner IN which he shouted and yelled
every time anything was said In praise
OF Tree silver and IN opposition 10 the
auInlnlstra don He got hotter as the
meeting progressed until fl seemed as II
ne would leave the convention han and
hunt up some gold bug so that he could
scatter him over the face Of the earth
lie reached the boiling point when the
haFalsOn county resolutions were read,
an! III ne could nave gotten at tho CAB
met or the President then and there ne
would have taken keen delight in chew
ing them up soul and body and tram
ping them beneath his brOgans. 4 point
OF order was raised on the resolutions.
The point was sustained and the resoIu-
tons were squelched. The sOrrel Whisk-
cred delegate aid not understand Il that
way. ana IN order TO let of his excited
feelings, he arose TO speak. He had hard
~ started before he was declared out Of
order and was told TO sit down. He
Shortly afterward Col Robertson of
Habersham began speaking to show that
money was being concentrated by the
great corporations. SOrrel Whlskers
shook his head, beloved and fOamed al
the mouth when Col. Robertson SAID:
My friends up in my county the other
day a mortgage was filed for record.
mortgage for $1,000 COO. CWhiskers groan-
ed and twisted and ground his teeth in
agonyl II was a mortgage that no one
now alive in Georgia win see the end
Of, as il runs for ninety-nine years. It
was mortgage given by that great ag-
gregation of capital and corporate power,
the Southern railway, 10 the Central
Trust Company Of New York. C'Wall
street" came from the lips Of whiskers.)
Go home and look upon the mort
gage books Of your county and see if that
great mortgage is not recorded therer'
shouted Col Robertson, pointing his fin
ger at Whiskers. whereat, with a blood
curdling yell. Whiskers leaped TO his feet,
lifted his hands aloft and shouted: "Ill he
id If ever l pay a cent Of il. I'll so to
iIil first q"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23

Some Of the silverite organs are trying
TO create a scare by pointing to the small
shipment of gold to Europe last week and
predicting that the time is close at hand
when there will have to be another bond
issue to replenish the gold reserve. They
would like nothing better than to see the
gold reserve again fall to, or below. the
danger line, because they think that that
condition of affairs would help the cause
Of silver.
We do not believe they are going to be
gratihed. We shall no doubt lose consid-
cradle gold during the next month or six
weeks, through shipments of the metal TO
Europe, but the prospect is that we shall
not lose enough to cause uneasiness in
financial circles.
A great deal of the gold that Is going
out now is for the expenses of American
tourists. 1t is estimated that they spend
$lOOOO,OOO or s15,OOoOOO a month in Europe
at this season Of the year. The chief need
for gold just now, however, is to pay for
imports. July and August are heavy i'm
porting months. 1t will not be long, how
ever. before new wheat will be shipped to
Europe. and within six weeks the move
ment OF cotton to Europe will be quite
lively. With wheat and cotton moving
exports of gold will cease.
There Is not much danger of our securi-
ties being returned. Europe is a consid-
cradle buyer of American securities just
now, showing that the fear in Europe that
this country is going to silver standard
is subsiding. The outlook, therefore, for
continued and growing prosperity, not
withstanding the outflow of little gold
is a very encouraging one.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23
The Lawyer and His Client.

The extent to which lawyers can exer-
else their imagination when pleading in
behalf of their clients is almost beyond
belief; but sometimes the tables are turn
ed in q very unexpected fashion.
On one occasion Mr.. s. was engaged
in presenting the case of a woman who
petitioned the court to grant her a judi
cial separation from her husband, a work
ingman, and urged that as she was in ex-
IRENE poverty. she was entitled to ali
mony according to her husbands means.
With voice broken in its pathos the
lawyer dilated on the imperative necessi-
ty of the case, declaring that his client
was utterly destitute, not having a mat
tresS to lie upon, and not possessing the
means to purchase crust of bread.
When the evidence had been heard the
judge, who well knew the counsels I'M
limited powers of exaggera ton, turned to
the appellant and addressed to her a few
ques tons.
Have you, then. no occupation?'
Yes, my lord, am a nurse" was the
incautious reply.
And where are you employed?''
Il am at Mr.. SIS" she unWittingly
rejoined. pointing to her counsel.
1t was with the greatest difficulty that
the judge refrained from joining In the
shout of laughter with which this admis-
sion was hailed.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23

If the flibusters along the southern
coast have been laboring under the i'm
preston that the governments vessels
are steaming about Florida waters mere
ly for a bluff, the McLanes solid shot
sent after the tug George w. Childs will
disabuse their minds of the error. This
government means business 1t is treat
ing Spain just as it would wish Spain to
treat it If there was trouble in United
States jurisdiction and hlibusters from
Spanish territory were a constant source
OF annoyance. However much sympathy
for Cuba there may be in this country. it
IS against the law for armed parties to
leave these shores to aid the Cuban in
surgentg, or for arms and stores 10 be
shipped from this country for the lnsur-
gents. and the government at Washington
Will sec that the law is enforced.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23
The Experience of Union Parson

Just after the battle of Perryville in
October, 1862, DIR. Savage a strong union
man, was at one of his appointments
to baptiZe some children, says an ex-
change. There was large crowd, and a
sturdy southern matron brought her four
children to the altar.
Name this child" said the union
preacher, laying his hand on the child's
head
Simon Boliver Buckner," was the re-
ply which caused a smile to come over
the congregation; but the brave preacher
went on with his duty.
Name this child, taking the next in
order
pierre Gustave Toutant Beauregard,"
and the smile grew into smoker, while
DR.. Savage became red in the face. He
baptized the young namesake of the great
engineer soldier, and went on with the
ceremony.
Name this one" he gasped. reaching
for the third.
ALBERT sydney Johnston" came the
answer.
The smile became audible, and the
preacher apoplectic. HeaVing a sigh of
relief he took the fourth child, a little
girl, whose gender he fondly supposed
would preclude a continuation of heroic
reproduction, and said:
Name this child"
Mary Stonewall Jackson Lee" came
the response that set the congregation in
a roar, while the union parson thought
he had held in his arms the whole south
ern confederacy.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23

A detective story that is good and strong
enough to have won prize of $1,000 in open
competition against the efforts Of the writ
ers of the world must necessarily be an
extraordinary story. That is what THE
Long Arm" by Miss Mary Z. Wilkins,
did. The story is only some 1900 words
expensive short story ever published The
Morning News has purchased the right to
this remarkable story in this section, and
Will on Aug begin its publication in the
daily edition. The instruments will contain
about 1900 words each, and the story will
run through six days.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23
lSDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS

Meetings. Yacht Club; Cal
vary Senate. No. 116 X. A. Z. O.
Special Notices.-Bill of Fare To-day, al
Hinckley's Restaurant; For Your Con-
sideration- Henry Solomon & Son, Sole
Agent for the United States for lie Panic
Cigars; Registered by Examination, Bisn-
op the Druggist; Money to Lend. Title
Guarantee and Loan Company; Electro
Plating. The Burglar Alarm and District
Telegraph Company; II You Wait Too
Long Elsewhere Go to Fried's; A Great
Show at TivoH Park Commencing Tues
day evening July p.
Large Dollars-B. II. Levy & Bro.
Mcdical-Dr. Williams Pink Pills; Shak-
er Digestive Cordial; Hoods Sarsaparilla.
Auction Sales-Two Houses and Three
Lots. by c. II. Dorset; Fine Furniture, by
J. Mclaughlin & Son.
observation-disclosures Dame of Maryland.
Roland Park. Near Baltimore. Nd.
It Keeps Up-Appel & Schaul.
Remember the Hercules-Falk Clothing
Company.
Cheap Column Advertisements Help
Wanted. Employment Wanted, For Rent
For Sale. Lost Personal, Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23

Prince Edward, the infant son of the
Duke and Duchess of York. the grandson
of the Prince of Wales and IN the direct
line Of succession to the throne, is said 10
be deaf and dumb. The report Is widely
circulated, though its correctness has not
been ascertained.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23
pussness. Not Sentiment.
From the New orleans Picayune Dem,.

There should be no sentiment about
money People want what will supply
their needs to the best advantage. They
want dollars that have the highest pur-
terial they are made and to force uDon
the workingman any but the best is sim
ply wrong, a robbery. That is all of il.
More than this. it is a poor compliment to
willing to take his pay in sort of mon ~
which the rich man scorns. The man who
works for wages and gives credit to his
employer for a week or month of his
arduous labor is entitled on pay day to
the best dollars that are made. and he
VIII be satisfied with nothing less.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23
DON'T Go Too Fnst.
From the Macon (Ga3 News Dem.)

All true and wise legislation never. goes
ton Is wise in it's day only. our fathers
legislated for their day, and it is our
business to legislate wisely for our day.
Senator Bacon is not wise in thinking that
legislation can give to silver a value be-
yond its commercial value. The common
sense business of the country Will ever
adjust itself and enforce itself upon the
legislation of the country.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23

The spirit of Kansas is rampant in the
Fifth ward OF the city of Wichita. The
Fifth ward is separated from the city prop
er by the Arkansas river. The ward has
the idea that it is being imposed upon by
the rest Of the city, and it has determined
that it will not submit TO the indignity
longer. If it can secure its rights in no
other way, the Fifth ward threatens TO
socede from the city and set up housekeep-
ing on its own hook. If the Fifth ward per-
sists in its determination, the rest of
Kansas Will, Of course. be under the ne
cessity of taking up arms and whipping it
back into line again.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23

From the Philadelphia Record Oem)

General Master Workman Sovereign's
letter to the labor organizations regard
ing a boycott of the national bank notes
Is characteristic of a class of men alto
gether too numerous in this country
They are men who have axes to grind
and who take the shortest way OF gain
ing their ends. They belong 10 that new
order of beings in our land who manage
TO keep barely without the pale or the
socialist and the anarchist and for thar
very reason are all the more dangerous
The sooner such men shall be driven
from their cover and gibbeted before the
people as the high priests Of selhshness
De for the order-lovlng and nberty.loyipe
elements Of society
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23

The remaining Abe Smalls in prisons
in various parts of the country will please
wait with patience the time when the
Baltimore Abe shall have been identified a
sufficient number of times TO fix positive
ly his identity. Within a few months
Abe seems to have grown almost as num-
erous as William Tascott.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23

There will probably not be any defci-
ency of wind this summer to be made
up all at once, as was the case three years
ago when the cyclone came bowling along
and piled up some hundreds of miles of
wind in a few hours There have been al
ready, 1t would seem, hard blows enough
to about even things up. calculating that
there must be about so much wind each
year.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23

Boston Journal correspondent denies
strenuously that the Puritans of Massa-
chusetts ever burned witches. According to
his statement, they merely hanged the
Witches that's all.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23

The Griffin convention was valuable as
showing the precise strength of the free
silver movement in Georgia. The free sill
yer people were all there.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23
They Were Not There.

From the Valdosta (Ga) Times Dem.).
A powerful small corner in the Griffin
convention accommodated the South Geor-
gia democrats. BY the way, will some one
give us a list of real wiregFass democrats
who attended?
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23

Kier Hardy, the so-caned labor" mem
Der of parliament has been defeated for
reelection In an interview with regard to
his defeat he called the workingmen who
had failed to vote for him such nice little
names as ''curs,' "eaitiffs, " "cads." moo
dies" 'numbskulls," 'ninnies." etc. Hardy
Is very much like some politicians in this
country; friend to the workingman only
so long as the workingman keeps him in
Office
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23

An enterprising Washington newspaper
offered a prize to the first person who
would guess correctly the name to be given
the new Cleveland baby. Nearly 5000 per-
sons guessed, and not one of them struck
upon the name of Marion. Eight hundred
and ninety guessed that it would be named
Naomi. If the President is still sensitive
TO public opinion he viii make a memo
randum of the Naomi vote.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23

II. II. Holmes. the extraordinary muir
derer and villain, in jail at Philadelphia,
had better not attempt to make his abb
too strong. II he were to do so the detec-
tiyes might be able to prove that he is the
only and original Jack the Ripper. s..
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23

The populists put in some good blows at
their Canton, o. convention the other day.
The blows landed on the necks and faces
Of other populists. Coxey stood on u chair
aud applauded the boys.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23

Senator Morgan is going up into the
northwest to deliver some speeches. He
will probably find things pretty much to
his liking in the Dakotas and Minnesota.
The hot winds and the drought have given
little boom to free silverism in those
states.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-23

Among Women.-Kltty: I wouldn't
tell my age If were 80, as Miss Pahst-
over says she is.
Jane (scofingly) She doesn't tell her
age.-Detroit Free Press, = -