The Louisiana populist., 1895-04-05
Sap.-It sounds pretty nice; I believe
will do u exit Saphead).

Sap.-lt SOUNDS pretty nice; believe
will do u exit Saphead.
II.
Sap.-I don't live the way this thing
Is workin.
Shy.-Why so?
Sap.-Well, it's this way. I draw out
so much but nave to take back more'n
l draw out. There's more going back
than ever comes out.
Shy.-Well, what of It?
Sap.-Why. it's only a question Of
time when you'll clean me up.
Shy.-I guess not. You must econ
omize and work harder and produce
more. Even If it's as bad as you say.
you don't expect me to furnish you pro-
visions for nothing. That's anarchy.
Sap.-But want out of this. want
to handle my own stuff.
Shy.-Why, Sappy, am surprised at
you. had supposed you would be con-
tented when III had nothing to both
er your head about but work. But here
you are with lot of wild and visionary
notions that are absolutely impractic-
able. The idea of producing and issu-
Ing to yourself and controlling your
own victuals is preposterous. Look at
Argentine! I am a philanthropist and
public necessity. The fact that you
patronize me proves that. You ought
to rejoice that you know where to go
when you are hungry. should have
abSolufo copfroI ~ yo,r sscbuclrO In mr.
der to keep it at a parity with all other
chuck" You are not so much inter-
ested in quantity as you are in quality.
You should not desire to possess SO
much as to make 1t worthless. The
value OF your feed should be equal to all
other feed, pie, sorghum and squash
always convertible into each other. BY
any other system there would be danger
OF slump to basis of degraded and
debased material that would leave a
bad taste in your mouth.
Sap.-It may be. I'll try Il again.
Let me have some more of that SOW
belly and another sack of meal.
Shy.-I can't do 1t.
Sap.-You can't?
Shy.-No. We have retired part Of
our circulation. I have orders from
headquarters to draw up on the puck
ering strings till confidence Is restored.
That isn't all: you are eating too much
meal-so much that there is danger of
driving all the doughnuts and fried
cakes out of circulation.
Can-uyoll l~~tS - 10
Shy.-I can tell you. Hard work is
the best cure for hard times. Just
dig right into it and never look up.
Don't bother your head about questions
that should be left to those who have
made them a study. You are not COM
petent. You have nothing to show for
the success of your theories. / have.
exit Sappy).
III.
Shy.-What's the matter, Sappy?
Sap.-I would like to know what
haint the matter. In the first place
am suffering for something to eat, and
have declared war on this Baltimore
plan." want to abolish 1t. I believe
you said 1t was elastic, like "inje" rub
Der; that 1t would give and stretch and
then dry up-stretch when you want to
stun man and draw up when you wan
to take of his feed. Now, 1t hain't
working that way. So far, have done
all the stretching and elieve I am
the only one where the drawing-up
business is gettin' in its work. Their
hain't any elasticism in It. Hash is too
scarce. There is got to be more Of 1t in
Shy.-It isn't scarce. We have got
dead loads Of it, and IL you will jrst
hold up a bit and not frighten capital
with your appetite you will get an op-
to fill up.
Sap.-But must have something
now.
Shy.--I see that we will have TO in
crease the United States army. There
is no reasoning with you.
Sap.-An empty stomach has no rea-
son and it don't know what fear Is.
Look out!
Press dispatch: Last night, about
dark, Shylock was raided by one Sap
head, who seemed to be thirsting for
and at this writing the doctors
have not been able to find all the pieces.
Saphead is known as a desperate an
Miller, In Farmers
Tribune.