The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-03
The Prevalence Of Risibilitics Among the
American People on Purely Pathological
Grounds.
Grounds.

| Grounds.
From the Philadelphia Record.
| Despite all the Nineteenth century
triumphs of the bacteriologists, the
Joke Germ still remains undiscovered
| "Quid rides?' inquired the gentle Hor-
ace long ago. and truly why do we
| laugh in preference to crying? If we
| were to follow the advice of the mod
ern professors of the divine philosophy
| of pessimism we would all be meta
| morphosed into weeping willows. And
yet man continues to justify his distinc-
tion of being the Laughing Animal
Malicious misanthropes have asserted
| that the chimpanzees smile, but that Is
| a scandal as slanderous as Garners s
| new monkey-speech. AS the merry
| Vicar of Meudon, Rabelais, has de-
| clared: Laughter is mans property
alone"
Where, then, is the seat of this laugh
ter? Observation discloses three sensi-
| tive nuclei of mirth-the ribs the risible
muscles and the funny-bone (the ole
cranon with it's ulnar nerve). The old
| school physicians may object to this
| third center, on the ground that its
sensations are tinglingly painful-but
| so is much laughter painful, and some
of us sigh in Jest. OF the ribs there
can be no doubt, since we have the
opinion of DR.. John Milton concerning
Laughter holding both his Sides
Which ribs are the ribs of laughter II
would puzzle us to specify, farther than
to assume that they are among the
seven sternal, or true, ribs. 1t is safe,
however, to affirm that when Eve was
taken, the ribs of mirth were left. They
are needed as counterbalance. But
repeated experiments demonstrate that
the chief and characteristic center of
laughter lies in the risorial muscles,
The principal attack too, of the jocus
bacillus is upon the risibles, whence it
may be also termed the microbus risi-
bills.
An ELUSIVE Bacillus.
How joke tickles ones risibilities is
not perfectly clear. The process of a
smile is certainly not identifiable with
the membraneous tickling which pro-
duces a sneeze. And yet some Utilization
akin to that of the nostrils must affect
the lips. A superficial study of the
risorial muscles does not reveal any
latent jocus bacilli, and they probably
attack suddenly and produce the dis
ease symptom of laughter Immediate
ly. Nor have the bacteriologists identi-
fled or isloated as yet any of these joke
germs in their natural element of con-
ductivity, the newspapers and maga-
zines, and even London Punch-a
somewhat rarefied medium in which
the germs are evidently greatly weak
ened. Nor do they attack all persons
with equal force. Some persons vigor-
ously resist all attacks, which leads us
to think that the effect of the joke
germ depends altogether upon the con-
dition Of ones blood and that anyone
may be rendered completely immune
who shall be sufficiently inoculated
with the serum of asses.
The Joke Germ Classified.
Those persons. in whose risorial mus
cles these mysterious Joke germs find
successful development, betray vary
ing symptoms OF the affliction. The
severity of the attack ranges, accord
ing to careful diagnosis, all the way
from the smile 0ocus genialus) to the
mysteries (JOcuS SArlStOpnanlcuS). IN lay
Language, these Seven Ages of mirth
are the Smile Perforce, the Smile Per-
suasive, the Grin, the litter, the
Giggle, the Guffaw Convulsive and the
Serio-comic Hysterical. The Smile
Perforce Is strange variant; for
while the Smile Persuasive seems full
of the milk Of human kindness, the
Smile Perforce seems to be that same
milk soured. 1t has been accurately
depicted in the pathological plates of
DR.. Aubrey Beardsley. The lip curls
but the ,risorial muscles appear as
though in rigor mortis. This phase
may be denominated the Risibilus Con-
tractus. The litter and Giggle are un-
doubtedly feminine germs. When,
however. all the various Jocus bacilli
shall have been identified and isolated,
the Modern Joke germs can be separ-
ated scientifically; the offensive mi
crobes-such as the Mother-in-Law
and Old Mans Foot germs-can be
deadened by means Of neutralizing
lymphs; and the less harmful joke
germs can be cultivated under the
most congenial conditions.