Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-02-14
sprinkIes of Spice.

you huOW. SO eNeryD Ouy tciiS Auc.
Pail Mall Budget.
A Frankfort man has written farce
comedy called Vaccine" 1t ought to
take.-Philadelphia Record.
"Dr. White Is a specialist, is he not3
What is his speciality" HE has two
consultation and fees."-yogue.
McSwatters-When was your wife's
last birthday? McSwitters-A good
many years ago.-Syracuse Post.
"How did Smith happen to get such q
big literary reputation" Criticised
'Trilby.' ATLANTA Constitution.
ITO me, her face lacks something"
"Well, when saw her last 1t had about
all 1t could stand."-Brooklyn Life.
Until the skating season shall have
closed a mans bumps have nothing to
do with phrenology. -Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
miss Robbins sings like a bird,
doesn't sheY' Mr. Blank-'No; they
stop singing sometimes. "-Chicagc In
ter Ocean.
Young man, don't you know You
ought to lay something by for rainy
day." ~ do; my rubbers."-NeH
York Recorder.
He-How well Miss Elderberry car
ries her age! She-But then she has
become SO accustomed to 1t, you know.
Boston Transcript.
A Friend-If you love her, old fell
low, why don't you marry herr Bach
elor Doctor-Marry her? Why, she ID
one Of my best patlents.-Life.
"Thank the Lord" said the farmer,
"cotton's gone up at last!' You don't
sayw "Yes; yonder goes ten bales In
a cyclone."--Atlanta Constitution.
Chinese Emperor (nervously)-What
news? Oficial-Japan Is now anxious
for peace. Emperor (gloomily)-Y-e-s,
but how big piece?-New York Week
ly.
Suffragist-I tell you the women are
advancing right along. Gayboy-Yes,
the married ones; single ones never get
beyond certain stage.-BOston Cou-
rier.
He-There Is only half hour until
train time and your trunk isn't half
packed. She-Don't worry, dear;
have my bonnet on.-Chicago Inter
Ocean.
New Boarder-What's the row up
stairs? Landlady-It's that professor
Of hypnotism trying to get his wife's
permission to go out this evening"
Tit-Bits.
Allow do you know that Mailer has
come in for fortune? B-Why, FORM
erly people always said he was crazy;
now they say he's original.-Lustige
Blaetter.
Suitor-I have come to ask for your
daughter, sir. Father-Take her, young
man. You are the only one who want
ed more than my daughters hand
Syracuse Post.
Little Ethel-Why Is it womens Is al
ways complainin' about the hired girl2
Little Dot-Oh, that's just so folks will
know they can afford to keep one
Good News.
First Theatrical Manager-Going to
have tank In your piece this season?
Second Theatrical Manager (enthusi-
astically)-Every man in my company
is a tank.-Life
These sleighings give the tin horn fend
A chance to blow his strains;
But, oh, alas! and oh, alackl
He can't blow out his brains!
Cincinnati Tribune.
Mr.. Cawker (after his wife has read
several pages-Is there any news In
your mothers letter, my dear? Mrs.
Cawker-I haven't come to the post
script yet.-Truth
A Germantown bride grew indignant
when her grocer asked IL she wanted
any cracked wheat She replied that
she could afford to buy the very best
Philadelphia Record.
Benevolent Old Man-Here's a quar-
ter. So you were sent to Yale when
quite young? Ragson Tatters-Did I
say dat? meant jail; can't per-
nounce de "j!'-Philadelphia Record.
The Foreman Sharply -Henry-man
down here at z o'clock-wanted to see
you. Henry (shuffiing into the room
pulling Off his coat at S:15-Who was 1t?
The Foreman with a metallic click)-
Me, sir.-Kansas City Star.
Teacher-History relates that when
Harpagos asked Cyrus to rebel against
his grandfather, he sent him letter in
a rabbit. Why did he do that? Pupil
Because at that time they had no en-
velopes.-Fliegende Batter.
Eyes, young ladies'" said the profess
sor, "Pallas Athene, the Grecian god
dess of wisdom, was unmarried" And
from that day the goose wondered why
those girls wouldn't studyl 1t was q
bad break.-New York Recorder.
II see," observed Mr.. Chtlgwater,
looking over his morning paper,
they're making another effort to put
a tax on bachelors" "Is that the sim
gle tax I've heard so much about?" In
quired Mrs. Chugwater.-Chicago Trib-
une.
Inquisitive Friend-I suppose you
wouldn't be defending that bank rob-
Der IL you really thought he took the
money? Bright lawyer wouldn't
be defending him IL didn't think he
took enough to pay my bill.-New York
Herald.
Hair Powdered with Diamond Dust.