New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1895-12-09
THE TALK or THE DAY.

THE Rochester Union" tells OF seven-year-od
boy OF that city who recently got even with his
governess. She was Obliged TO punish him, after
which she administered a solemn sermon for the
youngsters benefit Now. Willie" she said. IN
concluding the lecture you must remember this
that at all times you should respect your teacher
"Yesm." sobbed Willie. duly impressed Il sposs
I'd ought to respect you on account OF your age"
Tommy Suggests Remedy. II can say Of our
nelshbor, Harkaong' observed M Lucker nat
bis left hand never knows what his right hand IS
why doesn't he take boxing lessons?' asked
Tommy Tucker.-tChicago Tribune
THE Wheeling Register says that IN West Wiz.
sin,a there is an old custom making game legal
tender or nearly go. Merchants out in the noun
ta!ns take in deer. turkeys or almost any game IN
exchange for goods, and the Wheeling jobbers ac-
cept these in payment for goods bought by inc
merchants As a result hardware dealers are fire.
quently found handling venison, buckwheat and
country produce. Recently however. there has
been more venison on sale here than be-
fore owing to a law. which forb!ds the ship
ping out of West Virginia of deer killed In tho
State This makes Wheeling the leading market
for deer.
Yeast-r hear the tramps are going to have .
convention in a Western town.
Crimsonbeak-Itll be failure.
They won't be able to get working majority"
--(Yonkers Statesman.
The English papers have been telling stoy
about an alleged country parson who recently got
the best OF Barney Barnato He wrote 10 mo
King OF the Kaftirs," asking FOR relief from en-
barrassment on account OF an over!ndulgence 10
Kaffirs MY aim" he wrote, has always been
investment-not speculation. When your bank
came I regarded its shares as an investment ana
purchased 400 OF them "a. sinking my little all
In them and a good deal more. They have no"
fallen e. and | am undone. cannot race my
parish as 4 bankrupt and what am 10 do!
throw myself upon your mercy. MI Barha'o
was deeply moved by the appeal, and replied tnat
he would buy back the shares at H. On receipt
OF this reply the gulleless parson wired 10 Ms
brokers to buy 400 shares OF Barnato stock st
and send them round Barnato Brothers, VINO
VIII give you "a for them"
Driven in by Fear-Farmer's Wife-See herel
What you dong in our chicken coop? ,,,
Tramp after n pulet)-Please. mum, was only
huntn' place to sleep, and the barn Is locked.
Pretty story, tough such as you can sleep
well enough outdoors in such mild weather as ms;
IN papers about this beln' IN time fer meteorle
showers. num- and was afraid I'd get hit'-tNew-
York Weekly
The oldest paper published in Paris in the Enghsh
language. THE Galignan Messenger now IN US
eighty-second year, informs the public that on ana
after January l. 1896, the title OF the paper VII! %
The Daily Messenger" The reason given for the
change is that, although the name has a most hon.
orable history Il gives the travelling public OF 'hs
Ang.o-Saxon to-day the idea that II Is the or
gan OF a retrograde policy, rather than an energetic
and progressive newspaper. A new order OF Things
will be begun in The Daily Messenger" II VIII
endeavor 10 be no longer exclusively English, pu'
a trustworthy organ OF British and American IN
tellgence. To insure the latter a special depart
ment has been organized. which Will embrace inc
latest from every centre Of the United States
Of ala
evidence OF the large place which American
affairs occupy In Europe.
The Last STANDARDIZATION say your baby
doesn't walk yet? Mine does. Same age, too Your
baby cut his teeth yet?
Nodd-Mlne has. all of them. Your baby taks
Todd-Not yet Can yours?
Todd Cdesperateiy)-boes he shave himself or so 70
q barbers?-(Truth.
The Marquis OF Queensberry is TO visit his son
Sholto In California and he is only the most
eminent authority on pugllism anywhere KNOWN
but the founder OF its most authoritative code OF
statutes the occasion might be embraced TO pun
or the Corbet-Fitzsmmons fight somewhere o"
the Pacific slope. with the distinguished nobleman
as bottleholder. 1t would be In line with most OF
his public appearances and It is not 10 be douoteo
that he would perform the duty In a satisfactory
manner. polishing OFF a recalcitrant. II necessary Al
handsomely as he did his own son In the London
streets not long ago
Aunt Maria-Now Johnny don't be naughty. BE-
cause Lily wouldn't pay horse with you this MORN
ing Is no reason why you should not play schoo
with her this afternoon. Remember the golden
rule'--
Johnny from the wesU-whatre yer talkln
about? ain't no gold bug.-(Boston Transcript
That It costs something TO launch a big battle.
ship Is shown by the that the expense OF
getting the Victorious, the latest addition to Eng
lands fleet afoa: was about $4,000 She Is sister
ship to the Magnificent and the Majestic, and Is ~
feet long rs feet BEAM and 27, fee, draught There
were used up on the ways which she slid into
the water 1900 pounds OF Russian taiow leo gallons
OF train oil and 700 pounds Of soft soap The gross
weight OF the ship, equipped and ready for SEA-