Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-06-20

troycd by Eminent WORD Arsisse o.
Our Own Day-A budget Of Fun
sprinkIes Of Spice.
His teeth are loose and his nose IL .
sight.
And his head!-they'va in bandages
bound It.; t~
He went out to look for trouble last
night
And he found It 81
Boston Courier.
Wyld-Can't you overcome your thirst
for rum? Tramp-Yes, sir, with a
dime.-Iife.
He-I've been watching for chance
to kiss you for the last ten minutes.
She-You must be near-sighted.-Life
He-You reject me because ! am
poor. Heircss-Say, rather. that you
are poor because reject you.-Boston
Transcript.
The Soft Answer-He Dust proposeI
You hesitate. Have l rival. them
She-Oh, no. On the contrary, you are
my fiance's rival.-Vogue.
Father" said the boy" "what is in
solventY "Insolvent," was the reply,
''is merely long word used to describe
n short condition. Household Words.
Shell have an instructive feeling that
can trust you. He DassiOnateiy,
All, my darling, would that some 9TH
ers felt that wayLNew York Herald.
"You used to do little trading on
Change, didn't you, HiggsY yes"
"Were you bull or bearY' Neither,
Blobbs. i was lamb."-Chicago Tri-
bune.
New Boarder-What's the row up
stairs? Landlady-It's the professor
of hypnotism trying to get his wife's
permission to 60 out this evening"
Spare Moments.
81 hear, Miss Impecune. that you
have the bicycle craze" "Yes. That
is, / have the craze. but I'm sorry to
say that l haven't the bicycle. "-Har.
per's Bazaar.
This worlds a most eccentric place.
The thought we can't dislodge-
One-half is begging for the work
The other wants to dodge.
Washington Star.
Stern Father Of the Girl saw you
kiss my daughter as passed the parlor
while ago, and l want you to know
don't like it. Young Man-You may
not, but do.-Boston Globe.
Proud Father-This Is a sunset my
daughter painted. She studied paint
ing abroad. you know. Friend-Ah!
that explains it. l never saw a sunset
like that in this country.-Tid-Bits
Perdita-If you continue much long
err to play poker with my fatherf WON'T
marry you. Jack Dashing-If your faith.
er continues to play poker much longer
with me / won't need to.-PriHtetpn
Tiger.
Landlord Logic.-Prospective Tenant
Il like the top floor best. Why doesn't
the fireescape go lower than the third
first three floors are empty.-Harper's
Bazaar.
New woman has lot to learn,
Emerging from her prison.
The new man says it's now his turn
To talk; she's got to listen.
New York Recorder.
Little Miss Mugs Chaughtily)--My
sister never goes out without a chap
eron. Little Miss Freckles (disdainful-
ly)-My sister wouldn't be allowed to-
either. if she was like your sister.-Chi-
cago News.
Eot Jrrffz Il an w nI In f i'm
helping home an intoxicated student
Don't do it again; it makes bad i'm
preston. Fritz-Oh, that's all right. I
only did 1t to get even with him.-Flie-
gende Blaetter.
Figg-Wonder why 1t is that these
professional pugilists are such con.
founded takers. Fogg-Perhaps it Is
part never to be struck speechless
Boston Transcript.
I'm very much afraid" his mother
said. "that this pie needs more shorten
ing" Mamma" said the boy In an
audible undertone, that isn't what my
piece needs" isn't itY "No'm. My
piece needs lengthening. "-Washington
Star.
Mrs. White-And do you mean to say
that you and your husband always
agree about everything? Mrs. Black
Always; except, of course, now and
then when he's out of humor or pig
headed, or something of that sort
Boston Transcript.
Roddster-I say, old fellow, can you
lend us pair Of scales for few days?
Married Chum-We have a pair, but
sorry to shy they are out Of order:
they weigh heavy. Roadster excited
ly)-The very thing; we're going fishing!
Boston Courier.
Outertown enthusiastically
old man, you ought to move out to
Lonelywood. Its peacefulness and quiet
would make you live twice as long as
you will. Citily-But II were living
out there shouldn't care to live twice
as long.--Judge.
"Only think" exclaimed Henderson.
'of the many uses to which paper Is
now putv' II know" replied Bass. ~
was at the theater the other night, and
was told 1t was all paper. And It was
fine, substantial-looking structure,
too."-Boston Transcript
~ heard, sir, that you said my piano
playing sounded part of the time as il
l were jumping on the keys with both
foot ssIvvaotIxv ,rcIo,~