The National tribune., 1895-12-05
BUELL'S ONLY LAUGH.
Result of Unexpected Inspection at the
Military Academy.

Gen Don Carlos Buell. was known as The
man who never laughed. All through hi
| West Point course, and through his Mexican
war service, the best joke of quarters or mes
would fail TO send a smile over his grave face
He may have enjoyed things inwardly, but j
he did he could mask his feelings as well a:
old Gen. Tidball could mask a battery.
Buell. did laugh once, though, and that
laugh saved one West Point cadet from for
feiting part of his furlough and another from
confinement to camp during the jolly hor
season, and both from an unknown number
Of hours of extra guard duty. 1t was timely
laugh, that one Of the grave Generals.
1t was June, 1881, and the examinations at
the Academy were in progress. The "plebes u
had reported, and in order to make room fo1
them in barracks, Co. ID had been turned out
to seek quarters for the few days prior TO 60
ing into camp in the rooms Of the other COM
panies.
This arrangement threw "yearling " and
a second-class man, who were great friends,
together in one ROOM Each had finished his
examination, and did not expect TO be called
out. II was hot, SO hot that the guard had
been ordered into duck clothing and allowed
TO seek the shade A scorching breath had been
coming over the Fort Putnam road for two
days. The cavalry plain was baked and the
cannon at Trophy Point burned the hand at
the touch. In the barracks il was hard work
to breathe.
Cadets were obliged to remain in full dress
when in quarters until IL O'Clock in the
morning Then they were allowed to change
the dress coat fora shell jacket, but to change
nothing else. Smoking was not allowed in
quarters except during release hours. The
bedding was to be piled at the head Of the
bunk at all times, except at night.
The "yearling" and his roommate came
to the conclusion that examination being on
there would be no inspection of quarters, and
having finished the years work themselves
they thought they would take it easy.
it was Just 10 O'Clock, and after trying to
get a breath at the window without success
each threw his bedding on the floor, stripped
off every stitch of clothes he had on, and
loaded and lighted his pipe. 1t was delici-
ously cool on the floor. A draft blew in
through the big crack under the door, re-
fTeshed the smokers. and lifted the smoke un-
til it hung in great clouds at the ceiling.
Good thing forus there are no inspections
of quarters during examinations, I" said the
secoDd-class man, who is now an officer of the
I'd Art
" You make no mistake, " said the yearling
who is now a civilian.
So they smoked and talked. Footsteps
were heard in the hall
Fellows getting back" said the yearling
There was a tap at the deor, that unmis-
taxable military rap which means Stand,
attention, I'm coming"
The door opened and in walked. not the
ordinary Inspecting Officer, but the Com
mandant of Cadets, Col Henry NJ Lazelle,
and Mai. Gen. Don Carlos Buell., u. S. A.
Force of habit and discipline sent both
cadets 10 their feet in the position of ''Atten-
ton" The little fingers were where the
seams Of their trousers ought TO have been.
Their feet were turned out at an angle of 90
degrees Their chests were thrown out, their
chins in. and their eyes were straight ahead.
One of the delinquents had one sock on. He
was better dressed than the other. The pipes
contents were slowly burning holes in the bed
ding, which smeled TO heaven
The COmmandant was furious. He had
counted on finding the barracks in perfect
order, and the cadets in perfect discipline
during the season when the Board of Visitors
was present. lie started reprimand which
doubtless would have wound up by an order
placing both culprits in close arrest, but Gen.
Buell. had been looking at the STRIPPING sol
diers standing there gravely and rigidly at
Attention y and as naked as were privates
Mulvaney and Ortheris at the memorable
stOrming. The ludicreus side Of the thing
struck him. and smiles began running over
his face. Then he laughed lightly. In jump
ing to attention one OF the cadets had put his
toe perilously too near the burning tobacco.
The fire had reached him, and even cadet
discipline could not stand that lie lifted
his leg with smothered snort.
Then Buell. broke out. All the laughs that
he ought TO have laughed during all the years
gone by came out. He fairly doubled up.
He laughed, chuckled, laughed again. and
finally cried and laughed together The
Commandant was disguised. He knew Buell.,
as all officers knew him, for a strict disciplin-
arian. The Commandant was adisciplinarian
himself Ii was his own bailiwick, and he
did not like to have his rule interfered with
But that laugh killed everything. They left
the room, Buell. saying that he had inspected
enough forOne day The last thing the cadets
heard was the Generals laugh as he entered
Headquarters beyond the barracks.
The next night when the delinquency list
was read the names of the two cadets who
had 50 offended, instead of "leading all the
rest, did not appear al all The laugh Of
the General had saved them