The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-04

o.
amusing. 1t is always anus
q, study humanity. And such
p,,e said. so long ago, that the
- study of mankind was man, it al
goes without saying that the proper
81. If womankind is the eternal femi-
s-s Here she is extreme, and almost
s-v tvpe is represented except that one
81 ,.,b. being a man, you would admire.
-,s whole social structure of the place is
-..e,,aI. Everybody knows that every
Xiv else wears her clothes to be stared
That it is a continual dress parade.
.r5 that the various types of women are
,rays on exhibition. 1 was tempted to
say on sale to the highest bidder.
The most common type is the Extreme
GIL The puffs of her sleeves and the
-,ses In her hat are bigger than anybody
lse's Her hair, which last year was
Monde. is now a violent and essertive Ii
ian red, rolled in a knot that is higher
4 liam that worn by any other woman. Her
waist measures nineteen inches, and her
. shoulders and hips are so large that pad
ding is suggested. Her shoes are pointed
/ ike swords, and her frock is wider and
/ fares more than the average family UNI
brella She is the first on the ball room
f5or and the last to leave it. She knows
he latest dance and she makes up after
/ The French fashion, putting a bit of rouge
on the lobe of each ear and around
her nostrils, while she accent
yates her eyebrows and lashes with
some black stuff. Her voice is loud and
shrll. and she either despises or adores,
l1ves or loathe. There is no between. She
S ready for a midnight drive or an early
morning Irritation. and she seems to have
but one object in life, that is, to surround
herself with as many fast men IS pos
sible and to win compliments from them.
sac is about as bad a type as can be found,
and 1 often wonder if the men who laugh
with her ever think of the kind of an
old woman she will be. She will never be
called an old lady. 1t is much more prob
able that she will be spoken of as an old
bag. Dancing all night, flirting all day,
with intervals Just for dressing and
drinking, are not calculated, either ply
scally or mentally, to make an elegant
old gentlewOman.
Another type is the horsey young wo
man. She is tailor made, body and soul,
and her idea of a becoming hat is a stiff
sailor with somebody's racing colors for
The ribbon band. She calls every man
friend by his first name and is ready to
give odds on anything from the number of
cocktails she will drink TO the number
Of traps that will pass in half an hour.
she can give you the pedigree of the best
known racing horse. She can tell you
The good points, so called, of the most
bdeous dogs, and she trots but never
walks. If she is talking to you. she stands
with her hand on her hips and her jacket
thrown back, and if she is thinking of
something she will bite the end of ci-
lrette which she has taken out Of
gold case that has her monogram on II.
Then she will invite you to have one, as
she tells you that they are pretty good,
made especially for me, old fellow, got
my name on them" She don't care much
Ger women, though she has her special
chum, who is usually her exact opposite,
Tor she is clever enough to know that
one Will bring out the points of the other
The horsey young woman is usually
young, and if she marries the right sort
Of man, one who will be her master, she
may reform and become a very proper
person; but if she unites herself to a
dude she will grow harder and harder
and less womanly as she grows older.
very common type here, and one that
is peculiarly American, no other nation
would be charitable enough to endure it,
IS the infant phenomenon. She is usually
about seven years old, lanky of build, pert
OF speech and bad of manner. She is
trightfully overdressed, wears a pink silk
frock trimmed with white lace, diamond
ring, small diamond earrings and some
bracelets. In the evening, she is trotted
Out TO do a fancy dance, and people sit
around and say how clever she is, while
most of them, in their hearts, wish that
Herod was mayor of Saratoga. This child
can be heard of at any time during the
cay She makes personal remarks to
strangers which are smart, but for which
she ought to be. spanked, and she hangs
around the men, volunteers to kiss them
ana induces them to buy her lemonade
with little bit of claret in it, Take her
ior all in all, it may be said that she
lermeateS the whole place, and is a gen.
eral nuisance. At II o'clock at night she
IS carried to bed screaming and kicking,
While her mother passively remarks that
lossie Is so nervous" What F'lossie
ana her tribe want is a toning down. They
want to wear cotton frocks; they want to
De kept out of the way of older people,
ana they want to be taught good manners.
IKE children. l specially like girl chill
Heh. But the infant phenomenon and her
noe are not children, are not even human
eengs, and they ought to be wiped off the
race OF the earth, for they never would be
missed
By the hundreds there may be counted
NE Clean Young Man. He Is pink of
salrt and white of eye He is bland in
manner and his face shines with limo
cehce and soap. He is intensely correct
IN mis- dress He knows just what stick
SUITS certain trousers and just what hat
sues with certain hour of the day The
an never shines on his mistakes in dress.
ne IS a trife languid, but then he has so
n0ch to think about He is quite dis
.dhce from the haberdasher, and for all
ne Knows he may be twenty-four hours
ldte IN getting a certain kind of tie. And
,Adt would be sad. He doesn't talk much,
Jul when he does he is very long on silly
GOSSIP and very short on sense. He likes
you 10 know that he has eighty-three
.ldrI-plns, and that his mamma thinks
mat by next Christmas he will have a
hundred. He isn't a sin, he is a blunder;
1'l sometimes blunders make more trouble
man absolute vices. He is not fond of
.sllIls. They are too energetic He thinks
''ey expect fellow to muss ones coat,
set ones tie ont of order in their nasty
rough old games" and he would rather
us, SIT st.n. Fortunately, he can do 1t
- because the summer population is
.~'sely composed of fools and knaves, and
'.Sre are plenty of arm-chairs.
ne athletic young woman is less con-
Slicuous here than at some other places,
Uul sun she has her representative. She