Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-04-26
THE CAPTAINS WAR STORIES.
both OF Them Wonderful, Especially the
One About Firing at "a Pun of smoke.

Both 81 Them Wonderful, Especially the
One About Firing AT Pun Of smoke.
When | was commanding cavalry
outpost during the war said the cap
tam, a former confederate officer. ia
nous for his remarkable war stories
I'VE were camped near Salem, Va. and
il was the only time before, or since.
that Virginia has had such heavy rains,
We were wet through aud through, and
almost dead from exposure. had re-
ceived for my own use five gallon keg
of prime old Kentucky whisky from an
old friend but before had cance to
sample the liquor was obliged to ride
out on scout.
AL during that ride was chuckling
to myself at the treat I'd give the boys
when we got back. and incidentally,
how | would enjoy some of the contents
of that keg myself. Well sir, when we
came back after five hours ride in
that rain soaked through, hungry and
Disguised | told the men about that keg
of old John Barleycorn. Did they
smile? 1t was the nearest approach to
laugh tnat had been heard in that
section OF the country for many day.
Upon dismounting, all gathered
around my tent. entered, grabbed a
tin cup. smiled and turned the spigot.
But not drop ran out. | pulled the
air-plug from the top, but there was
only the tantalizing odor of the good
old red eye Kentucky alone brews.
The men were muttering at what they
called my ill-timed joke. The disap-
,,Aint,,,a,,f than cytiaxra1
humanity could bear.
suddenly turned saw a soldier
happy in his unsteadiness, in front of a
tent about fifty feet from me. In all
that outpost the only whisky seen in
two weeks was that which | had re-
ceived. Twas but moment to con-
meet the effect and cause. found three
heavy sleepers in that tent, the ground
was wet with rare, soft fragrant liquor,
every tin washbasin cup and vessel was
TILED with that heavenly liquor. The
secret was out, so was the whisky. |
investigated and found that these men
had learned of my having the keg, had
cut some long rice strawS, made con-
duit fifty feet in length by joining them
together, tapped the key and run the
whisky into their own tent that long
distance away.
The captain stopped. lighted his cigar
anew, while his auditors nervously
shifted their positions. None spoke for
full minute. Then the little man who
had tramped the region about Salem
under odd Glory" asked in "A mild and
apologetic voice, Captain, what does
the rice crop amount to now around the
Salem country?'
NO rice was ever raised there or
Whereabouts, " said the doughty but for
getful warrior
The painful silence was finally broken
by the captain himself who spun an
other yarn, which was a. follows:
when was commanding a cavalry
outpost during the war bad occasion
to make personal examination of the
land. rode with my orderly to a knoll
some halt mile from camp, and leisurely
began to study my position with the
aid of a field glass.
suddenly jerked my head back in
voluntarily. aud whizz, went singing
rifle ball SO close to my ear that | could
feel the wind of its flight. A puff of
smoke was the only evidence of the
sharpshooter. Not once, but five or six
times did this involuntary muscular
action take my head backward from the
line of the shot and save my life. |
never could explain or understand that
provdential muscular action. Turning
to my orderly | seized his carbine.
aimed AT that smoke mile away fired,
and all was still again No more shots
came and we returned to camp. In the
st. .,.ttr 90,
country, and coming TO the spot where
the shots had come from in the morn
ing, heard groans.
They proceeded from wounded
Yankee hidden behind rail fence He
said he had fired severa, shots in the
morning at a confederate officer on
yonder knoll but had not been able TO
hit him though ne had good range and
was considered wonderful sharp
shooter, and the reb had fired but one
shot at him and that with direful re-
suits. The ball buried itself in his leg
cutting one of the main arteries. The
man was beyond human help. We gave
him water and he soon lost all signs OF
life. We rode away and left all that
was mortal of the poor fellow behind
that fence.
This tale was too much. One by one
the smokers arose and moved towards
the door in silence deep and thinkative.
The first man 10 reach the door turned.
and in rich New England twang,
shouted. 1--WE been called a liar for tell
ing that story, captain, but I'm the
sharpshooter you killed that day.
ELOPEO IN AN OK CART.
Characteristic RUNAWAY Mnfch In the