davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10

best cover we could find. and there
was plenty of it within reach. and be-
gaa firing Al the daring Indians
e had some of the finest marksmen
Of she frontier in our company and a
dozen shots were discharged within
few more seconds. SOM of the balls
must have passed close, but we saw no
evidence of their execution. The
Apaches. however. were not fOOlishlv
reckless. for. after a lew more min
utes' exp sure, as if daring us to a
contest Of skill, they dropped behind
the rock and renewed their fusillade.
There was change in the situation
now, for both parties were screened,
but To our humiliation, the next two
shots from that wonderful trio did exc
cution. One entered the shoulder of
private and the second wounded a mule
80 badly that put ball from M re-
volver thr Dugh MS head TO end his suf-
fering. There was Apache marlsman-
ship for you ard no mistake. Thus
far they had not thrown away a shot
They have only to keep this thing
going through the afternoon" re-
marked the captain, for them to
clean US all out"
There must have been a good deal
of chance about it, I replied, for how
could they secure any sort of ain?"
Chance doesn't continue so long
ali. how is that?"
Only my head and shoulders were
exposed 10 view, as / lay fat, squlnt-
inc along my rifle and watching for an
opening. when one of the Apaches
fired again. The bullet nipped the
end of my mustache and passed
through the sleeve of the captains
coat. grazing the skin.
We'll. I'll be hangadr' I exclaimed;
I'VE ought to catch those fellows and
enter them for the international cham
pionship; they can beat any shooting
ever saw"
Pedro" said the captain. sharply,
''are you going to let your people beat
you in that fashion?'
Don't beat me-beat you" replied
the guide, with grin.
See what you can do, for we can't
do anything"
Pedro and Masque had already
formed their plan; il was to steal down
the river bed a short way, sheltering
their bodies behind the powders and
rocks. then climb the mountain slope
in the same manner, and work around
u point above, or in the rear of the
three Apaches. who were so much SUI
perior to us in craftsmanship.
Captain" said /, have your per-
m 'ssion To 90 with them"
Yes, 20 If you wish; l expect them
To make a sieve of You"
Ny blood was up. My friends con-
ceded that had some skill with the
rifle and | was eager for a chance at
those fellows
II was a tedious and laborious task
that we three undertook. | saw that
the guides did not fancy my sneaking
along behind them. but they made no
oh ection, for it would have done no
good. The necessity for extreme care
prevented their drawing away from
me. and I was on the heels of Masque
almost al the time. as he maintained
his place close to Pedro. the leader.
While we were advancing in this
wearisome manner. little firing took
place. \ shot was heard now and
then. the most being fired by our folk
in the valley below. The result, as |
ascertaiuel afterward, was that a.
other of our men received 9 wound,
though not a severe one.
Our ruse succeeded to perfection
We reached a point not only above
that held by the Apaches, but quite
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10
THE FARM ICEHOUSE.
To Build One Does Not Call for Very
Much Expenditure.

To Build One Does Not Call for Very
Much Expenditure.
No particular architectural ability is
needed in putting up an icehouse, sug-
gests the American Cultivator. All that
is needed is to put up frame, inclos-
ing it both inside and out, in a locality
where there is good drainage, SO that
water from melting ice can be carried
away without letting current of air
come up through the ice. The filling
In of the air spaces between the double
wall is commonly done with 5awdust.
This is cheap. and In localities where
there are lumber mills, it Is often so
plentiful that it is given away to any
one who will take it. 1t is necessary,
however, even then, to get the saw
dust early, for as the time for filling
icehouses approaches, there is always
demand for it. A new material
known as mineral wool has lately been
introduced. 1t is mineral, and, of
course, is not wool at all, though it
looks and feels like wool. 1t is the
glass fibers made in refining iron ore
by the action of heat on the particles
of sand that it contains. Once this
Stag remained in immense piles around
iron ore refneries, but its value for
making mineral wool has caused de-
.nand for all that can be got of it
The cost of mineral wool IL near to a
factory will probably be near ST per
ton. but it's bulk in proportion TO
weight is so great that it cannot be
transported far 1t is the cleanest
and best non-conductor of heat. 1t
contains a great amount of air, and
when laid in the walls is a non-con-
ductor of heat and of sound also. No
kind of insect or other vermin will
live in walls where the filling is with
this glass material. For this reason,
ss well as non-conductor of heat. it
is considerably used for sheathing
dwelling houses. II also greatly re-
tards destruction when houses are at
tackled by fire.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10
SERVED A RARE DISH.
No One Ever Heard of Corniqnes Until
John" Served Them In jest.

John" Served Them In jest.
A jovial Brooklyn chop house keep
er is really a great joker He is o.
terms of great intimacy with his r <.
ular customers, who always call him
by his first name, and rough him
whenever they see an opportunity.
One evening recently habitue of the
place. who had given the American
lied Briton many hard rub. entered
the chop house for his evening meal.
1t was a hot night, one of those times
when no one relishes eating, and when
the appetite of nan is to be tempted.
The gentleman certainly did not know
what to order.
What have you got, John?" he
asked languidly of his host.
The latter went through his bill of
fare ard enumerated steaks, chops,
soft shell crabs. bluefish, squads,
chicken and the like. The list was
certainly sufficient for any man to
make a selection from, but somehow
or other nothing mentioned seemed to
Just suit the occasion.
Haven't you anything else?" asked
the customer. Haven't you any little
| thing-something cold?"
''Nc-yes / have. too" replied his
host. as thought flashed through his
mind, and he saw an opportunity to
even up an old score. II have some
fresh corniques. Did you ever try a
cornique. MIR. Chapman"
'John" very much wanted his guest
to ask what a cornique was, but he
didn't. He was too wary for that. He
replied: mo, don't know what il is
and don't care. Give me a portion.
I'd like to be surprised for once in eat
ing a novel dish"
How to furnish a cornique did not
for any great length of time perplex
tie host. He went outside to the
kitchen and presently returned with a
platter. upon which were four objects
decked about with sprigs of parsley
and sliced tomatoes
The dish had an appetizing appear
ance and the guest commented upon
the fact Then he attempted to fasten
his fork in one of the corniques. This
was difficult, for the object slipped
about and seemed to be impenetrable
to the fork. Finally it was secured
and the guest made an attempt to cut
off piece. Eventually a small frag-
ment was secured. 1t was most unpal-
atable in taste and was promptly
elected.
Il say" shouted the man, in a rage.
Take this thing away. What is a
corr que, anyhow"
Nv hy, thought you had heard OF
them, Mr.. Chapman" replied the host,
chucllling to himself. Il thought you
were joking when you said you did not
know. They're raw shanks of lamb
cut well down. gave them the name
myself. but | never heard of anyone
trying to eat them. l guess that at
! tempt of yours just about squares us
on that last joke you played on me-
y. Y. Herald.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10

Marriage is not Heaven, any more
than Heaven is marriage.
Nature christens the flowers with
drops of dew.
A mans heart has many entrances.
No night was ever so dark that
morning did not come.
Honesty has a disposition to swag
down ia the middle if too L-uch gold
is loaded on il.
Molasses may catch flies, but il
won't catch spiders.
The longest pole won't knock the
persimmons unless the right kind of a
man has held of it.
Money is a slim diet for a hungry
heart.
Generosity thrives best in poor soil.
Detroit Free Press.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10
A Joke ON Honest John irwin.

Many men try to defraud the gov
eminent in the matter of the payment
of taxes, in customs duties and in other
ways. Occasionally these men have
twinges of conscience and send money
to the secretary of the treasury. Large
amounts in the aggregate arc thus re-
ceived annually, and all such contribu-
tions are recorded in the books as cred
tied to 1.-The conscience fund" The
broad assertion may be made that all
of these moneys come from violators of
the law.
Hon. John N. Irwin, of Iowa, was
made governor of the territory of Idaho
In 1888, and visited that country, but
declined to reside there. He returned
to Iowa, resumed his business and sent
his resignation to President Arthur.
The resignation was not Immediately
accepted, and many months passed be-
fore new governor was appointed.
Finally, in order to settle the treasury
accounts, draft was sent to Mr.. Irwin
for 81, 800 in payment for his services as
governor of Idaho. Being an honor
able gentleman and scrupulously care
full in such matters, Mr.. Irwin Endorsed
the check and returned it to the treas
ury department without collecting the
money. To his surprise, amazer4ent
and indignation, it was credited to the
conscience fund" Mr.. Irwin tried in
vain to have the books changed; but
there was no other place in the treas
ury to put the money, and there it
stands credited to the conscience
fund" 1t is in no sense discreditable
to Mr.. Irwin, but matter of really
great credit to him; for most men
would have accepted the money. But,
at the same time, he was annoyed at
first with the disposition of the check
which his conscience would not allow
him to accept.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10
A Prediction Tnst came True.

Henry C. Hansbrough used to be a
Chicago newspaper reporter. He went
to the territory of Dakota and estab-
Eshed a newspaper at Devils Lake,
called the Inter Ocean. / used to write
letters for his paper. He came here
as a member of congress when the state
of North Dakota was established. One
evening in July, 1870, he said:
'John A. Logan walked into the Of
lice of the Chicago Tribune one day
AMI told Mr.. Medill that he was going
to be the next senator from Illinois.
He gave it to Mr.. Medill as an item of
news, but Mr.. Medill said it was not
news, and only Logan's opinion. Gen.
Logan was elected to the senate in
January following, and then Mr.. MediIl
printed the story. Wen, | came in
here tonight to tell you that ] am to
be the next senator from North Dako-
ia, to succeed Senator Pierce. You can
print it as news or as opinion, Just as
you please; but am telling you fact
which Il beyond question"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10
One of BiaIr,s Yankee stories.

On that occasion, during his long
speech, to illustrate the acumen of OBJ
scure men, Senator Blair read from a
New England newspaper, as part Of
his speech, the following story:
Deacon Cole came into the town of
New Hampton, n. H., one evening,
and driving up to the store at which
he always traded, in front of which
there were half dozen loungers, he
inquired if anyone had seen his wife
Polly that day. No one had, and he
went on to say that she had suddenly
disappeared about nine o'clock in the
forenoon, and he had not seen her slnee.
"Do you figure that she has skipped
out?" asked one of the crowd.
Hardly. Polly's fifty-seven, you
know, and as homely as a toadstool."
But wimin is Gurus critters" OBJ
served another citizen. "She might
have gone off to the nayburs in huff"
1--WE bin to all the nayburs," replied
the deacon.
Searched the house?"
"Yes."
saint in the garrett"
"No."
AIN down cellalE
"No."
saint in the barn?"
"No."
"Nor in the SIN )kehouse?"
"No."
swell, that be; Is me. Bet you ten
TO one she's gone ray and wandered
off. or else she's got tired of you and
skipped"
whats the fuss here?" asked tin
peddler. as he drove up.
The facts were given him, and he
turned on the deacon with:
'Why, dang your buttons, you don't
know even a little bit! She fell into
the well, in course, and you'd better
hurry home and get her out!'
The deacon drove away at rattling
pace. while the crowd laughed at his
expense; but next day when he APP
peared in town asked him if he had
any news of his wife, and he replied:
ooh, yes, Polly was in the well all
right enough, and had been standing
in water up to her chin all day. Rather
blamed me for not hearing her holler,
but she got all over it after being dried
out"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10
lie Hadn't Wings.

"Of course, before your marriage
you told your wife that you would
never be absent from her side except
when business demanded your presence
elsewhere?"
Yes"
And you said you would crafty
every wish of hers?'
Yes
And that YOU would never speak a
cross word to her?"
Yes"
Have you kept your promise in
these things?"
"Say. what do you take me for?
Do look like winged seraph?"-
Boston Courier.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10
WASHINGTON CHITCHAT.
Some Pleasant Tales About Ex-
Senator II. w. B,air.
For Ten Days He Talked to Senator In
gals and an Empty Room-senator
PeItigrew's Good Resolution
Twins Conscience Money.
Especial washington letter.

Ex-senator Henry w. Blair, of New
Hampshire, who was famous through
out the length and breadth of the land
a few years ago as the author, defend
the Blair educational bill, was a grave
and dignified senator, but a fellow of
infinite jest with those who knew him.
lie was a natural born wit and story
teller, but maintained gravity of de-
pertinent on account of his scholarship
and intellectual standing as well as
because of his official position. There
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10
JOHN MCBRIDE PRESIDENT AMERICAN FEDERATION OF LABOR
Senator Hansbrough was elected

Senator Hansbrough was elected TO
succeed Senator Pierce, as predicted;
but when he told me the story, it
looked improbable enough to be one of
Dick Bright's fish stories. He has been
a very good senator. too. He was al
ways hard workingman; struggling
in youth for bread and butter. Political
elevation has not changed him. He is
always up with the sun and never idle.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10
SmItten nv cold or Damn.

The kidneys become sore and cease 70 act
properly. Relieve their distress and set
them in vigorous motion with Hostetter's
Stomach Bitters. and all will be well.
Otherwise, apprehend Bright's disease. dia-
betes or albuminuria, all dangerous mala-
dies. Malaria, dyspepsia, constipation. bill
iousness and nervousness all yield to this
benignant and agreeable medicinal agent,
which promotes appetite and gain in vigor
and flesh.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10
Beware Of Oiutments for Catarrh That
in

as mercury will surely destroy the sense of
smell and completely derange the whole
system when entering it through the mu-
cous surfS.es. Such articles should never
be used except on prescriptions from rep
utabie physicians. asthe damage theywill do
is ten fold to the good you can possibly de-
rive from them. Halls Catarrh Cure man.
ufactured by F. J. Cheney q Co, Toledo, o.,
contains no mercury, and is taken inter
nally, acting directly upon the blood and
mucous surfaces of the system. In buying
Halls Catarrh Cure be sureyou get the gen
aine IL is taken internally. and made in
Toledo, Ohio, by F. }. Cheney q Co. Testi-
mCnials free.
~ Sold by Druggists, price 75c. per bottle.
Halls Family Pills. % cents.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10

Jenks-Yes, l always take my boy
along when / GO to the minstrels
That's the only way ! can get my
moneys won tn.
Einks-How SOP,
Jinks-The muse is new to me. and
the jokes are new to Hmm. Y.
Weekly.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10

A young man, fresh from college,
wore as a scarfpin jeweled gold po-
tato bug. One day he called the atten-
ton of an old German bookseller to it,
asking: Isn't that pretty, Dutchy?"
ia. ja," was the reply. dot ish
der biggest pug on der sehmallest Boz
tato | hat ever seen. "-Muncie ind
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10

Under present arrangements grain
can be taken to the market only dur
ing a small part of the year, the usual
consequence of which is a crowding
down of prices by the plethora of sup
ply, so that the farmer realizes the
lowest figures of the twelve months
for most of what he has to sell, in
stead of having the choice of times for
disposing of his produce.-Chicago
Tribuue
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10
&C 90 tn CALIFORNIA;

Is price Of double berth in Tourist Sleeping
Car from Minneapolis on the famous
''Phillips-ROck Island Tourist Excursions
Through cars on fast trains leave Aiinneap
oils Tuesdays via Kansas City, Fl Worth
and FL Paso. a superb southern route
Write for particulars TO A. PHILLIPS 4 Co.,
Il3S Guaranty Loan Bldg, Minneapolis.
john SEBASTIAN, G. p. A, Chicago.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10
,,c,,n,for,al,le Comfort.

Mrs. Wayupp-I sympathize with you
deeply. 1t must be very painful to lose
a fortune.
Mrs. Illuck-It's terrsble! When we
were rich we used nothing but the
most exquisite antique furniture, but
it's all gone, every piece.
THE new fulnit IRE which you have
here looks very comfortable"
That's the trouble. 1t is so COM
Portable that am continually reminded
of the awful fact that it is not antique"
N Y Weekly.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10
MIR pErrIGREw HANDS IN HIS CARD.

winters preceding the admission of his
in congress he had the privilege of the
floor of the house; but when he wanted
to see senators he was obliged to sit in
the public reception room and send in
his card, like all the ordinary private
citizens. Being intensely in earnest
about securing statehood for his people,
he begrudged every minute thus spent
He regarded it as time wasted He
was exasperated at the slowness of
senator's in responding to his card.
Statehood came at last, and he was
elected by the legislature as their first
senator from South Dakota. Soon aft
EDWARDS l met him, and asked him to
tell his first sensation when informed
of his election to the senate. He re-
piled:
MY very first thought was now
won't have to send in my card in order
to see the big men inside of that big
marble senate chamber, but can walk
in without interruption or delay. And
whenever any citizen sends his card to
me I'll answer him right away"
And he mas 1apt that resolution.
Senator Pettigrew never keeps man,
woman or child waiting to suit his con-
venience. He always drops current
business to respond to cards of people
outside who are waiting to see him.
SMITH n E'Py
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10
A Candid Confession.

Father of the Bridegroom-Before
cemsnting this close relationship 1
think it hut right to tell you that 1
once had little unpleasantness which
involved the loss of my liberty for a
considerable period. Both my daugh-
tiers are, / am sorry to say, rather
Eighty; my dear wife is suffering from
kleptomania and my son was mixed up
in little forgery affair. Won't that
make any difference?
Father of the Bride-Not the slight
est! From the fact that am quite in
favor of our alliance you may judge
how matters stand in my family.-Der
Schall<
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10
Inilinr ,ne IandInrd.

Its a splendid day outside. Suppose
we take little walk" said Mr.. Up
town TO his wife, who is very close.
take walk and leave this expen-
sive Hat for which we pay such high
rent unoccupiedP Not much, propose
to stay right here and get the worth OF
my money ---rTexaS SiftlnrS-
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10

FAGAN-''I got thot full the other payday
night thot Oi whit 10 sheep an the step ay
the dure, an didn't wake up till tn goat be
gan chewin' me phwiskers. Mcbride
Sure you can't blame him. II was hot
Tti
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10
GExr-"what is the reason you charge

twice as much for my cuffs as you did for
merlyE' Washerwoman - Because YOU
have begun making pencil notes on them"
Gent-s.What difference does that makes'
Washerwoman-s1The girls waste so much
time in trying 70 make them out."-De Am
sterlammer.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10

WIFE-''There, nowl This paper says
that married men can live on less than sin
gle men, Husband -'But, my dear, all OF
US haven't wives who take in washing. -
Dubuque Times
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10

If you want to be cured of a cough use
Hale's Honey of HOrehound and Tar
Pixies Tootllache Drops Cure in one minute.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10

"YoU say you AMI your wife never quar-
relf' ''NeYer, YOU see, whenever she fires
up always get out. ''-Atlanta journal
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10

JIxKs-(At the door impatientlyl-" Are
you all ready, dear" Mrs. Jinks-"All but
putting on my bonnet" Jinks - m
We'll, I've time for two more cigars, any
WAY ,,-Harper's Bazar.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10

IHAvE found Piso's Cure for Consump-
ton an unfaling medicine f. r. ] OH.
1896 Scott St, COvington, Ky, Oct 1, 1881
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10
S48 FOR ONLY 81.
DEMORESTS
FAMILY MAGAZINE
To those who
have never
subscribed TO

We win be given for the expended
be world
two dollars If you wish this with other as to mat
quality designed
really
Here mentioned above The next
Longpres
Roses which the exquisite octure that has been published
giving lady patterns wishes during the and
feature introduced DEMORESTS
eight cabnese portraits
month of the worlds celebrities with biographical each person
of distinguished
when inserted the Portrait Album which furnish forms handsome
valuable information refer
friends The collection
other Of tnse
with
collection the
ptoE
entitled
viii include well those already given
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10

oil extracted from maize is one OF
the best-known illuminauts, but has
not been generally manufactured on
account of the expense of making It
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10

SIMPLICITY, of all things, is the hardest to
be copied.-Steele.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10

fst
Examine carefully the foundations
of any quarry. then go and build roads
! likewise
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-01-10

Shakespeare,
Rev. Charles III. Parkhurst,
George w. ChiIds,
Susan b. Anthony,
Abraham Lincoln,
Mile Emma CaIve,
william H., Emperor OF Germany
Prince Bismarck,
William VI. Evarts,
Oliver w. Holmes,
william Lyme Wilson,
Rev. ThOs. DE witt Taimage,
John RuskIn,
Adeflna Patti.
Mrs. Fran. H0dgsOn Burnett,
Louis koesuth,
President Carnof.
Nine. Emma Eames-Story,
Elizabeth barrett Browning,