Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1893-1895, 1895-12-28
A woMAn's LETTER
Discussing q Retarding Element In
the Social Life Of individuals.

CIiqueism is q growing social cvil It i'
destructive to true soeisbility. On every
hand We see eotene Of fifteen or twenty
friends who among themselves enjoy very
merry times, but each clique is as exclusive
OF the other as though its members belonged
TO far lower social level, when in reality
they belong to the same, and should readily
affiliate. But no Let one look longingly
or expectantly toward the other and he meets
decidedly chilling glance which plainly
says. "Stsy there; you don't belong to our
set" They entertain the mistaken idea that
TOUR SET"
is "the" set. 1t Is likely to be the set that
needs improving as much II not more than
consider it infsllible. In reality every one
Of the separate and distinct sets could be
benefited by enlarging and becoming more
ail'smbracing. There are but two aristocrs-
cies in America. One is The aristocracy born
Of the culture learning gives. The other is
what is vulgarily termed "cod-hsh" aristoc-
Tacy. and is the least tolerant OF the two.
The first judges man by the extent Of his
learning, and the latter by the extent Of his
bank account, without any regard for his
morality or immortality, intelligence CT stu.
Pidity. The former considers that man may
be improved BY associati'n with such as
themselves, and generously undertakes that
improvement. The latter seems to labor
snder the fear that the stranger may in some
manner absorb some Of their wealth, for they
have nothing else. The shekels are all they
csrs anything about, or can appreciate.
just consider for a moment the question
which aristocracy your clique belongs to, and
then proceed accordingly.
You can be
''IN SOCIETY"
and in the "best" society, and never enter
ball room or seat yourself for an afternoon
tea. Indeed, It is by no means necessary
that you do these things. Just be an h nest
maR or woman. and improve your capabilities
to the greatest extent possible and your sue
cess socially Is assured, provided you sbun
that
ExcLUsIvENEss
already spoken Of. Besides retaining friends |
ones object should be to ga n them. One
can't have too many Of the right sort. They
are never gained by going about with "big
|" air, which really shows how small you |
are, Dont say "lye all the friends want
'r need" and refuse to recognize some
worthy person to whom you've been intro. |
iueed. simply because you have so many
friends, or because you "never expect to see |
hem again" Perhaps they are not so for,u.
rate as you, and APPS, you'll some-
line be in position where you'll be glad to
ecognize them as friends.
But there are instances where Il is only
moving ones self respect to be slow in &C
an introduction. Supposing
'ou had upon several occasions been intro.
lueed to wealthy person. who. because your
clothing, while good, was NOT so elegant as
iers, would not recognize you; suppose you
vere ate ward introduced by very wealthy
mutual friend to whose home you had more
rec entrance than she, and suppose that per-
on would then almost 20 around the block to
meet and speak to you,--you'd be rather
ool, wouldn't you II doesn't pay to be too
important, in ones own estimation. lC
MARION. 4