The herald., 1895-07-01
BY THE WAY

Mr.. Cal Byrne and Charlie Sloane have
added that of being expert wheelmen t /
their many other accomplishments. and
recently were touring about the country
when something went wrong with
Sloane's machine and the two pulled up
in front of a ranch house and Mr.. Byrne
went in to See if he could borrow a mon
keywrench to make the needed change
in the impaired wheel. The proprietor
came out wearing velveteen breeches, a
red sash, blue flannel shirt and brunette
complexion and his query of "Whatta
der matta?" showed that he was an Ital-
ian.
Now Mr.. Byrne, though an artist and
man of the world who speaks Yearly all
the modern languages is q bit shy on his
Italian. and so addressed the ranchero IN
English.
friend;" he said. "have you monkey
wrench?'
The Italians eyes flashed fire, his hand
stole suggestlvely into the folds of his
sash, and he broke into a torrent of
choice profanity. and replied vigorously :
Non, sir; no keepa da monka ranch;
whatta you think me grinda the organ!
Me keepa da chicka ranch, corpo di Bac.
cho!!"
r = =
Lieutenant Governor Millard has been
rusticating at the home of Frank House
at Pomona, where the balmy air and that
noted sideboard of Mr.. Houses is apt to
superheated air of Indio. Mr. Millard
was well located. There is a large prune
orchard next door. and the fruit is ripe.
There is plenty of it,
Z q 4
Colonel Roberts de San Gabriel, by the
way, has fine assortment of clothes fit
for boulevardier. which be is ready to
sell to any one with dudish aspirations.
They belong. or did belong, to Carleton
Kemp, the auburn haired, left-handed re-
porter. formerly of the Express. Kemp
and some friends went to Roberts place,
at the mouth of the San Gabriel canyon
about Il year ago, and hired train of
burros for fishing trip Kemp donned
overalls, a hickory shirt and DOTTED his
store clothes and left with Roberts bur-
ros. He still has the pack train and Rob-
erts has the clothes. Being a Populist,
free silver man and married. and wear
ing volnminous whiskers. Colonel Rob-
erts is little shy about wearing the Pic
cadilly toed shoes, the trousers that can
be heard two miles off, the Stanley coat
and the Fedora bat in which Mr.. Kemp
used to disport himself on Spring street,
SO offers them for sale.
There are serious objections to giving
anyone free ADVERTISEMENT but Colonel
Roberts has done so mucn for his coun-
try in creating fish stories that l feel
that he deserves this notice.
y = =
Speaking of selling clothes, some peo-
pie have been wondering at the sudden.
warm friendship that Colonel Dob"
Northam is displaying towards Charlie
Last. The colonel explained 1t to a friend
Gently. You se'.'' he said, II have
got $3.50 invested IN uniforms which I
b)ught when that great ana good man
Governor Markham appointed me on his
staff. Now Charlie believes, poor boy,
hat Budd is going to appoint him brga-
dier general here, and he and l are Just
OF size; see?'
Fur Colonel Bob still has his uniforms
and Oh Irles is waiting for that letter
that has not come.
r = =
q There was whist party the other even
ing at wnicn could be noted number OF
the inner circle of society women and
their conversation was like unto the fol-
lowing: