The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-11-10


to die and rid the earth of my frightful
presence seized me. | could not bear to
think that | had done so dreadful a'thing.
So long as had thought myself innocent
1 could live. Indeed, 1 was morally inno-
cent, and would be legally SO if my unac-
countability could be established. 1t did
not occur to me to make that effort. l
realized only that was monster; that
loathed and dreaded myself with an in
conceivable repulsion and fear, and that
must rend my spirit loose from the hid
eously distorted clay that encompassed
and imprisoned it.
made the assault upon the guards for
the purpose of having them kill me, as had
| no means for killing myself. They were
too wise and humane. All during my ILL
ness planned ways of drawing the fire of
the guards, but the opportunity did not
come.
At this time something within me
which / did not fully underestimate
now know it to have been the divine
principle which abides in every human
being-was struggling for expression and
exercise. l wrestled with it, because
was ignorant of its character and of what
its encourag cement might lead to, and was
blinded by my self-loathlng and desire
TO die. Many time, when just ready to
take the step which might provoke a fatal
shot, this still, secret and persistent prin-
ciple within me sternly throttled my pur-
pose.
1t was not until the ordeal OF the cell
and of determination and unceasing
introspection began to operate-and likely
they could not have operated had not the
gentleness and human sympathy of my
cellmate weakened the barriers behind
which the principle within me groaned-
that light began to come through the
darkness. What glorious day it was
when the fight had been made and won
r,1 h. ~
full and radiant manhood!
But the best is to come. / have proved
that any man may conquer himself if he
will, and that when he has won the victory
life is so strangely beautiful as to pass the
comprehension of those who have never
suffered the agopIes of the struggle. His
tory is full of such cases, but it is some
thing to see one under our own eyes and
read its glorious lesson. Has not my con-
duct proved it? And it is only when such
a fight is made and such a victory
won that life opens out in all its greatness,
its fullness, its responsibilities, its bright
ness ana its sweetness. 1t is only then
that true good to humanity can be done,
that the vanities and worries of life are
lost and left behind, and that bending to
the will of the inscrutable forces which
govern US produces content and cheerful
ness
1t has come about, therefore, that re.
gard my Affections as the greatest of bless
ings seeing that they have set in force a
chain Of circum stances which have brought
me to my present condition of unspeak-
able happiness and, 1 trust, considerable
usefulness. With it all has come some
thing which the free world will regard as
incredible-a sincere fondness for my life
as a convict. But that must be so, else the
victory had not been won. And now l am
here, freer than ever I was before being
n he Wa Of -fraa ar
to be man, freer to do good to my fellow
man. freer to develop into a still nobler
pattern of human divinity.
And therefore l say in all sincerity-and
that will not be doubted-that would not
accept freedom if it were offered, and that
prison as the greatest calamity that could
possibly befall me. Here | shall be more
than content to spend my days, and here
hope to remain until the good God above
deems it time to take my spirit hence.
Such is the document which the pris-
oner left. Separated from the ante
cedent part of his history it would likely
disclose nothing OF greater value than the
extraordinary explanation of the crime
but when it is compared with the succeed
ing part it will be found, think, to have a
surprising interest. Let US now begin the
close.
1t was contrary to the prison rules to
permit prisoners serving a life sentence
to go outside the walls, where ordinary
convicts worked in the quarries. But
Garland for many years had been so ex-
emplary prisoner, and his superior intel
lgence and strength were so greatly
needed in certain piece of work that was
to be done, that it was decided to send him
outside. Accordingly, one morning when
those who were 10 work inside and those
who were to work outside were falling in
line to be marched to their respective
tasks, Garland, as usual, was about to fall
into his accustomed line OF inside workers,
when the captain OF the yard said:
Garland, fall into this outside line"
The convict started, gazed wondering at
the officer and did not move.
Fall into this line, Garland: you are CO.
ing to work outside for while"
The prisoner caught his breath and
paled, but he did not move.
Fall imp commanded the officer
sharply.
'I-I-can't," gasped the man.
This was fragrant northumberland
from the best ana most obedient man in
the prison! 1t could not be permitted.
Nearly 1000 eyes were watching the dra-
matte scene. The captain was amazed,
but his duty was clear and his action
prompt.
s"Fall into this line," he commanded
sternly, cor go to the dungeon"
An instant CLEAN flashed In the convict's
eyes; his chest heaved once, and then
seemingly crushed he sank into himself,
and in a peculiar slouching manner, en-
tlrely unlike his customary sprightliness,
he shambled into line and stood with his
head hanging and his gaze upon the
ground. Then the file was ordered to
move. The best form in which to tell the
| occurrences of the succeeding few minutes
is the language employed by convict
who testified at the inquest held the fol-
lowing day by the Coroner:
eve marched in twos," he testified.
land Garland and I were together. He
walked heavy and dull like. l never saw
him walk that way before. He kept his
head down and didn't look around when
we passed through the gate. thought he
was sick, but when L asked him about it
he didn't say anything. I think he had a
| pain in his chest, because he breathed
irregular and caught his breath some
times He didn't look up till we got TO
the Toulouse. We went in and some
of us took crowbars, others took drills
and some got shovels and things, Gar
land looked all around. He tried two or
three crowbars and picked up the heaviest
one he could find. He was very strong