The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1895-04-05
BUSY METHODISTS.
Ladies Attend the Confer
ence at Sleepy Old
Tottenville.
MR.. ROONEY ANXIOUS TO DIE
The Surroundings Seem to Have
a Depressing Effect Upon His
Spirits-Today's Doings.
snecfnl TO the Jerseu cftu Ns,rs.

session of the second day of the Newark
Annual Conference of the Methodist
Church, held in this out-of-the-way VII
lage, the very touching spectsGse was
witnessed of grey1haired, battered old
veterans in the church's army declaring
that their lifawork was nearly done,
and now they only awaited the call OF
the Heavenly Commander 10 pass into
the ranks of the Eternal army.
Bishop Hurst had just asked the TWEEN
ty-second question in the disciplinary
rules, who are the -supernumerary
preachers" when a tall, white-haired
old man, the Rev. S. B. Rooney, rose
from his seat and tottered to the front
of the rail surrounding the Presidents
desk. On a trembling voice, scarcely
heard beyond a few feet away, he said
Brethren of the Newark Conference,
I am here with you for the last time,
1 fear. Do I say fear? oh, no! l am
ready to go, and marvel that I have
not been translated before. A year ago
the current of my life was just about
to turn back, but for some inscrutable
reason it was above to resume ITS
course. Soon it will stop, and l viii be
glad to go into my grave"
my dear BROTHER interrupted Bishop
Hurst, with a gentle wave of the hand,
pray, don't be in such a hurry to die.
You have been a valuable servant, and
we don't want to lose you just yet"
SOMEWHAT ILLOGICAL.
But the good brother could not be dis
suaded from wanting to die light there
and then, and observed that, although
ministers were always preaching and
prating about the glories of heaven, they
usually did their level best to keep out
of it as long as possible.
And we only go there" he g%roaned,
wiping his glasses with a big yellow silk
handkerchief, when we can no longer
stay on earth. My hand has lost its
cunning, and even now I believe my time
is short, exceedingly short"
A very different supernumerary is Rev.
John l.. Hayes. a wizened, hard-faced
little man. with a tremendous amount
of energy and nveliness bottled up IN
his small carcase. He has a kindly
CHEEKY humor, which enlivens the dry
proceedings of the conference. and when
is on his feet just as if the reverend
gentleman yas in the habit OF standing
A 100 MUCH TONGUE.
Brother Hayes" said the Bishop,
glaneingg at that Pastor. what have You
Assuming a snufhing, whining tone,
which set the conference into immoder-
ne wasn't sick enough to die just yet,
and accompanied the thrust with a mis-
chssyous g gTsba at Rev wsn :. p p, Roon bSspital
not long ago, and the doctor told me
NY lungs were all right, SO was my
lsad- I don't drink, you know. Qaugn-
"oh. no, it wasn't that which troubled
me. The doctor told me talked toe
nalsch; Cloud daughter and cries OF
Of course it's true" quickly rejoined
ar. Hayes, and I knew it, and. marx
long, skinny han at a few IN one corr
rer. 'if you only knew the same, you
would be. a little wiser than you are,
and talk less. (Renewed laughter.)
TITS no good saying. Bishop, that l
work. Some day I'll die and go straight
MS tormentors coughed here. and
Brother Hayes retorted:- m
as .Wh ;yyo,, TheTe 6 else w mel G ! go Laughs nne
Sick. O Pshaww he continued, after
teen people last week-ten adults and
and cries yoae q Where's WHERE : your aTlthmefies5
cerned," Mr.. Hayes quickly returned, a
sentiment which Bishop Hurst applaud
ed by a hearty Hear. hear" 1870.
lLlElSL bC-4A AO A-HtcAA -
Hayes,s fitness to remain as a super
riunerary preacher, his relations were
continued with cheering laughter and
a GENEROUS PATRON.
On the motion Of Rev. Samuel Haller-
vas an, Of asc 5sGssay 70 I'M Mr.. q w PaaFf i. MMe aroag,
OF NeEa RI, the Treasurer OF the Gem
tenary Fund Mr.. EaJ1oran described
money and time he had expended in FUR
thefing the aids of the society. and
round up by i~ntroduc;ng lin 70 the
modestly deprecated his snare OF the
work, and told the. conference what :
good thing the society IS, and advised
the members to give Il their countenance
and support.
Memorial services having been fixed for
Monday afternoon next, to be followed
by a business session, the conference ad-
All NBoi7T ewrFFERs."
The ladies Of Tottenville neglected the
conference meetings yesterday morning
talked about that two bright, very nice
places, Jersey City and New York. wee
TO be present yesterday evening, and talk
about Sunday sehools and the PPrast
mond Valley, T~ottenville, Fart Heights
and Pleasant. Plains .focked n twes and
this TERRIBLY interesting thing, q tract
Half an hour before the meeting was
opened, three7fourths Of the seats IN
and women. young .'missesses' and SER
want girls, farmers wives and daughters.
and other peoples daughters dressed
well. Solomon in all his glory was not
arrayed like one of these.
When Rev. VIM. e. Palmer, A. M, a
young and, of course, a highly interest
ing pastor, rose to talks about tracts.
there was a such a rustling OF silk
dresses, such a setting of hats straight,
such a fixing of back hairs, such a
swapping of handbags to get out pocket
handkerchiefs, that the. poor preacher
looked around for a hole to drop into
Silence and attention restored, he began
BY complaining that only $4,000 out OF
$500 required to run the Tract Society
had been raised
Many of the older n more. expert
enced matrons instantly scented a col
lection. n quietly began to edge away
towards the door. The speaker saw the
move, and adroltly covered up the mis-
take by saying that he wasn't going to
beg. No, he didn't; but those who fol
lowed did.
Mr. Palmer dropped the tract subject,
called a milf, tree, and exhibited a
drawing of a leafless stump, on the
branehes of which were a dozen birds
with human faces. The tree representa-
the church, and the birds were the
"miffers." What the Gnuerwa1np n GOO
goo man are in politics. SO is the milf
Miffer No. i is he who dreams of the
good old times, twenty years ago. when
not ignored in the management Of the
WHICH IS YOUR CLASS?
Tho eapnnd bird. according to the ma7.