Morris tribune., 1895-07-10
PlTH AND POINT.

-He-"You reject me because an
poor" Heiress-"Say, rather, that yor
are poor because reject you. "--Bostor
Transcript.
Miss Amateur-"Are you musical
Prof. Bisten?" Prof. Bisten-"Yes
but if youwere going to play anything
don't mind my feelings. Sing Sing
Courier.
sit seems to me-, observed Criticus
"that Scribber's book reads as though
he were addicted to the BOTTLE" Eyes,
assented Wagg. 'To the mucilage'
bottle. "-Harper's Bazaar
| The Recipe. "How did Woodby
White get his reputation for being
bright?' "Why, by promptness. He's
always the first to say chestnut when
somebody essays clever observation.
Washington Star.
Mrs. White-'.And do You mean to
say that you and your husband al
ways agree about everything?" Mrs.
Black-"Always; except, of course,
now and then when he's out of humor
or pigheaded, or something of that
sort. Boston Transcript.
! Mean, Even Then. MIR. Flushley-
sDo you know that Jazblin beats his
wife almost every night in the week?"
Mrs. Flushley-'N does hep" o, the
monster!' Mr.. Flushley-"O, don't
know about that; you see he plays a
much better game than she does. =
Roxbury Mass.) Gazette.
| proverbs was largely the ruin of
me-" said Mr.. Everett Wrest. ''How?'
asked the sympathetic citizen. Take,
| for instance, that one about the race
not bein' to the swift. l guess that
there has made me lose more money on
4-to-1 shots than would burn wet
dog" -Cincinnat Tribune"
-Wife-"Why, Charles. what do
you mean by burning our old love let
ters?" Husband-'T have been read
ing them, my dear, and it occurred to
me that after 1 die some one who
wished to break my will might get
hold of them and use them to prove l
was insane. Harlem Life.
-''Uncle George" said the little boy
from the country, ARE these the build
are, Tommy" answered the city uncle.
Tommy took comprehensive look
overhead. '"The sky does need scrapin'
here pretty bad, don't it, Uncle
George?" he rejoined, Chicago Trib-
une.
This original paragraph from Ed-
itor Hams recent New York letter is
going the rounds of the country: st
would not give one good, wholesome,
hearty, rosy-cheeked Georgia girl who
can swing a pot, whistle tune and
kick dog all at the same time for all
of these military mumnies between
Battery park and Harlem suburbs =
Atlanta Constitution.
First Gentleman entering the
apartment Of second gentleman
"About year ago you challenged me
to fight a duel" Second Gentleman
(sternly)-''I did, SIR" First Gentle
mainland told you that had just
been married, and did not care to risk
my life at any hazard" Second Gen
tleman (haughtily)-"I remember, sir"
First Gentleman (bitterly) Well, my
feelings have changed; any time you
want to fight let me now."-House-
hold Words.
Helen" said Mr.. Whykins, who
somehow never gets hold of an idea
until it is old, 81 have good one for
you. think you'll appreciate it, oaly
you must not let it make you angry"
"What is it, Henry?" whats the
difference between woman and an
umbrella?" '"The difference" she an
swered serenely, lis that man isn't
afraid to take an umbrella with him
werever he goes, and that he doesn't
try to conceal the fact that it's above
him when real emergency arrives.
That's the principal difference, Henry"
Washington Star.