The Louisiana populist., 1895-04-12
HELL, JANUARY -, 1895. ,

NY Dear Fellows: Have q piece
of chicken. The Lord bless you.
May you always have plenty of
chicken. May you grow fat and
''eat, drink and be merry" l
write this letter to you in all conf
dence. l hope it will not be pub
lished. If it don't get into the
"Buzz-Saw' we are safe. 1t beats
the devil how much that ''Blzz-
Saw" man knows about my busi-
ness on earth. If there were many
such papers there l would have to
fold my tent and 90 to some other
planet. Have some chicken. Now
to business. Things are all right
up here. The ''lake of birthstone"
is red hot and secthing. Tbs Is
no joke. Have another piece of
chicken. rs You know, my lot
has been cast on hard lines since l
was kicked out of Heaven. You
will never know just how l felt
until it comes your turn. An an
gel one day and a devil the next.
Of course l had to start from the
ground. / never even had q change
Of clothes. l struggled along un-
til I got u little He'll started and
then went down On earth to enlist
recruits. Of course you have read
of some of my failures and tri-
umphs. When l took Jesus Christ
up on the mountain and tried to
buy him he was awfully hungry.
But he wouldn't sell. Men are
much better dressed nowadays
and are cheaper, too. ! have thou
sands of men working for RE for
their board and clothes. Of course
you ministers are not all working
for me but most of you arc not do
ing me much harm. As hong as
you can attract the peoples att,n-
tion to the church and its doctrines,
they won't think much about Chris
tianity. Every time one of you
breaches doctripal sermon l occu-
py a front seat and JOIN in tho
amens. Just keep up that lick.
There is this difference between
Churchianity and Christianity; one
gently leads people tc he'll, while
the other directs them to Heaven.
All hail to Churchanity! Since
the preachers have begun to preach
doctrinal sermons and holding joint
debates, and the politicians began
to talk tariff, l have had easy sail
ing. Now allow me to give you a
little advice. have been in the
service much longer than you.
Talk Churchianity and Charity,
and let Christianity and Justice
take care of themselves. The peo-
pie would rather wrangle over the
question as to whether they should
be soused clean under the water
(which, by the way, is very un-
pleasant and undignified), or just
have little sprinkled on their bare
heads. AS far as I'm concerned it
makes no difference. can get
them one way as we'll as the other.
| depend upon you preachers to
keep up these dissensions among
the different churches. You all
have plenty Of Scripture to do it.
/ think the less you say about
Christ and his teachings the better.
Of course you all know he was a
tramp and a Socialist. Besides he
was old-fashioned and his clothes
never fit him good. If he was on
earth now he would not be permit
ted to enter most of your frst-class
churches. He was always harping |
about hypocrits, and lawyers; and
even went so far one time as to up
set the tables of the money-chang-
ers and scourge them out of the |
temple. For this reason he was
always unpopular, could never com. |
mand any salary, or stay at one
place long. Finally he became so |
unpopular with the big men who
wore fine clothes and had the mon !
ey, that they had him killed. You
ought to take warning by these
things. If you want to flourish |
like a green bay tree don't take Je-
sus Christ as an example. Myron
Reed triad n and eo did RofH;n |