davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1895-01-31
A We'll AS A BAROMETER.

1t Is on a Cattaraugus N. W County Farm
and Infalibly Foretells Weather.
There is a curious we'll on the Flint
farm, in the town of Great Valley, Cat
taraugus county 1t is a natural barom-
eter. Nobody ever passes that farm,
winter or summer, if the weather is set
tied, without asking something like
this:
docs the we'll threaten a changer?
For every one knows that if there is
bad weather coming the we'll will let
them know it, sure as sure as can be-.
They call the we'll up there the
"whistling we'll" although it doesn't
whistle now But that isn't any fault
of the we'll This we'll was dug about
SO years ago by the father Of Colonel
Flint, who now occupies the farm. He
put it down As feet, but found no water
Z and dug no farther. Instead Of water,
strong current of air came from the
we'll at times. The opening was cover
ed with a big fat stone, and for amuse-
ment a hole was drilled in the stone
I and q big tin whistle fitted into it. This
whistle had two Lonesome when the
air rushed up from the well, and diff
ferent one when the counter current
sucked the air back in the mysterious
depths. 1t wasn't long before the dis
covery was made that within 40 hours
after the outrushing current from the
we'll started the whistle to shrieking a
storm invariably followed. When the
tone Of the whistle was changed by the
reversing of the current, it was discov-
cred that the change meant a change
and the coming of fair weather. These
: weather signals never failed. When the
weather was settled, the whistle was
silent. The whistle got out Of order some
years ago, and for some reason was
never repaired, but the coming and 60
ing currents of air still prophesy the
coming of their respective "spells OF
weather. with unvarying infallibility.
New York Sun.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1895-01-31
JOHN BULLS HUMOR.
1t Is of the Fat witted Kind; That Is What
Americans Think.

1t Is of the Fat witted Kind; That Is What
Americans Think.
I. Hawthorne, observing Englishmen in
England, speaks of them as heavy
witted." Emerson alludes to their 'sav-
ing stupidity" Howells has introduced
to US some typical specimens OF English
responsibility and rank bafaed in their
chase after American humor, but on the
scent and arriving at the point of ap-
probation after considerable silent
i thought, sometimes lasting into the next
day, and here is the testimony OF Low
ell, from his recently published LET
tars'' In "a letter written in 1889 from
England to Professor Norton he thus ex-
plains the warm reception given to Buff
falo Bill by London society:
"But I think the true key to this
\ eagerness for lions, even Of the poodle
sort, is the dullness of the average
& English mind. never come back here
! without being struck with it. Henry
James said it always stupefed him at
u first when he came back from the con-
4 tinent. What it Graves beyond every
4 thing is a sensation, anything that will
Il serve as a Worcestershire sauce to its
! sluggish palate. We of finer and more
3Sstouchy fiber get our sensations cheaper
4 and do not find Wordsworth emotion
\ over a common flower go very wonder
\ full
People are dull enough on our side
sof the ocean stream also. God wot, but
D here, unless I know my people, never
\ dare to let my mind gambol. Most OF
them, if I ever do, look on like the IA
1 nous deaf man at the dancers. wonder
sing to what music am oapering. They
call rs superficial Let us thank God,
dear Charles, that our nerves are nearer
1 the surface, not so deeply Embedded in
Fat or muscle that wit must take pitch
q fprk 10 us. "-OutlOok.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1895-01-31
Tho Dear Child.

Clergyman (anxious to compliment
the host Of a Sunday school outing)-
Now, can any child tell me to what one
person we are most indebted for the
great crowd Of happy and smiling faces
chat are gathered here today?
Dear Child -Adam.-London Tit
1ih ~. -. ,s..5-.a
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1895-01-31

Rheumatism in the back, shoulders,
/ hips ankles. elbows, or wrists, is caus-
ed by accumulation of acid in the
blood. Hood g Sarsapsrilla neutralizes
the acid and cures rheumatism.
Hood, IS pills are the best family ca
sthsrtic and liver medicine. Harmelss
and reliable.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1895-01-31


In Cold Weather..
We observe that about this time Of
year many individuals benevolently dis
posed toward the human race are giving
free advice to their fellow men about
taking care of themselves in cold wealth
or. Advice is perhaps the only commod-
ity we really enjoy giving away free
Perhaps that is why the self appointed
doctors are so profuse and elaborate in
their directions
One genius says you must never begin
q journey until you have eaten your
breakfast Then line or two below
this he says you must never under any
circumstances take warm drinks before
YOU 20 out in the cold. Shall we then
drink ice water with our breakfast, or
shall we drink our coffee stone cold?
Which will be best?
Don't lean your back up against any
thing that is cold, says the adviser:
Keep your back we'll covered up; also
your chest-that is to say, you must
take section of blanketing and cut
hole in the middle to put your head
through. Let half of the thing hang
down over your back, the other half
down over your chest, then put your
clothes on over all this. 1t is true, you
will look like Santa Claus or stuffed
paddy, but what's the odds?
Again, you must never stand still in
cold weather, When the thermometer
registers freezing or Whereabouts, drink
the ice water for breakfast, put on your
padded blanket fore and aft and go out.
Cover your nose with a silk handker-
chief. Then, with the padding on you
and the ice water in you, keep skipping
about every second like frisky young
lamb or flea To be still moment is
death.
After you have taken exercise of any
kind, dom as you value your life. ride
in an open carriage or near the open
window of Car. If you have load OF
hay to haul to market, put box all
around it and then get into the box, so
that you may not ride in an open car
rage Meantime, if in spite of padding
yourself like mummy and never going
out after drinking anything warm and
mailing yourself up in box every time
you go anywhere after exercising, you
still get cold and sore throat, as you
will be certain to do, then stop talking
at once. If we talk while we are hoarse,
our kind friend informs us we run the
risk of permanently losing the voice. So.
if you are hoarse and wish to tell man
his house is on fire, go and learn the
deaf and dumb alphabet.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1895-01-31
4 MOTHERS HEART.

Within her heart she keeps place
Wherein Is chiseled his pure faco
As first she know it long ago.
When life and soul were white as snow.
Unminding what the world doth say,
Alone she goes her weary way,
And he whose path Is rough and Wild
Still is to her pure as q child.
Minneapolis Housekeeper.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1895-06-26
Loading Melons in Cars.
A. T. BOYCE.

The long way of melon is the strong
way. Everybody knows that he can
take an egg lengthwise between his
hands and put his hands between his
knees and he cannot crush the egg with
his utmost efforts, whereas if placed so
as to bring the pressure upon the sides,
it will collapse. If melon has long
diameter it ought to be so loaded in the
car as to bring the pressure of the up
per layers on the lower ones in the direc
ton of this long diameter. In other
words, load the melons on their ends.
Of course, it will require more painstak-
ing to do this than to load them on their
sides, but it will enable the owner to put
an extra course or two IN the Car with
out danger Of breakage. Let the bottom
Of the Car be well cushioned with straw
or pine needles to break the force Of the
thudding. Then let the melons be
placed in regular courses, with the stems
uppermost, until the load is completed.
The ideal Car for the carrying Of melons
would be one furnished with racks or
chambers, perforated like an egg-board,
allowing each melon to stand on end IN
dependent of all it's fellows and free from
pressure. Then the grower could pro-
duce and ship without fear the most
luscious melons of Florida, instead of
the inferior but hard shelled Kolb Gem,
as at present. And he could raise them
in the hammocks, too, if he wished,
whereas now a hammock grown melon
will sometimes burst asunder of it's own
weight and brittleness if the wagon jolts
heavily over a roOt.-Exc change.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1895-06-26

these figures should fail to prove com
pensatorv After due trial this matter
could be corrected and in the meantime
increased production would be encour-
aged, and this is what the TRANSFORMERS
should do before they expect to reap
their due reward. 1t is not fitting to
presume a partly developed field will
afford any real gain. The average bust
ness man expects to labor for time in
laying foundation for trade. He seeks
to encourage patronage by an honorable
means or inducement, and why should
not transporters act upon like principles?
The writer does not advocate course
of restriction upon transportation rates
which would be oppressive to those en-
gagged therein; but WIN should they be
favored and the farmers suffer an uni ust
treatment at their hands?
Any attempt to adjucate upon the
matter of rates must needs call for
board of arbitration, and such should
be composed of five men instead Of
three, one of which should be trans
portation principal or agent Of their
own selection; one should be grower of
the growers selections one a shipper or
forwarder and not grower; one should
be a lawyer, and one an absolutely dis
interested person or neutral as to either
party in contention. Other details
might be properly given here, but suffice
it for the present to state that such is
the shrewdness of TRANSFORMERS that no
pains should be left untaken to avoid
their purchase or inducement to con-
troll action Of the board by such methods
as they not infrequently resort to. 1t
must not be overlooked that transporters
are not working for the public.
Presumably more than one million
dollars per year have been taxed upon
the fruit growers and gardeners Of Flor
ida during the past four or five years,
which the transporters had no right, in
a uSt view of the case, to have taken.
Shall such robbery be allowed to con-
tinue unchecked? 1t is control or else
national ownership will come soon.
A. T. BoYCE.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1895-06-26

or crushed to a worthless mass in tn
handling. 1t would seem as though tn
transporter had no interest whatever ii
getting tender products safely to thei
destination and in good order. Careless
ness in this respect has seemed to be
come the rule in this country, and no
carefuness AS should be the case. What
can be done in this matter is no easy
question to answer.
Now we come to the matter of charges.
A transporter becomes a com mon Car
rer and under no condition should one
mans goods or products be taken in
preference to, or at any lower rates than
those Of another. 1t is in no sense a
matter of friendship-it is public ser.
vice and should be regulated by the
power that grants such charity of per-
mission or existence
We must at the first step encourage
such enterprises, or else the State must
construct the same on It's own account
transportation rates require to be rea
sonably large to cover all actual ex
penses, and where the distance is fully a
thousand miles and only part of the
year, it seems evident that very mOder-
ate rates will scarcely serve TO fully re-
pay all the required outlay. To illustrate
this point let us suppose there to be
chosen six or eight leading points in
Florida for fruits and vegetables, Jack
sonvllle, Gainesville, Ocala, Lawtey,
Orlando, Titusville and Fort Meade.
From only one of these points could a
rightly low or lower rate be made. From
jacksonville only could water and rail
freightage be brought under competi-
ton or in use. The writer will assume
that IS cents per 100 pounds would pay
fairly we'll to traNsporters-in other
words 20 cents per box for oranges, &c
cents for cabbage. 40 cents for potatoes
or pines, Is cents for cucumbers,
squaShes, beets, beans, peas, etc., to
which would be added about one.third
more for the leasing point at Fort
Meade To ask lower rates still would
be to invite a poorer service from the
transporters, and this would be poor
policy indeed. One thousand miles of
distance and as quick transit as can be
secured, with decent handling, is a SER
vice which calls for remunerative pay
and not a meagre dolement of exact
cost or a little less than that even
While these figures are not so we'll ad
JUS ed as might be nor designed for a
final conclusion, they are mainly repre-
sentative of what it seems would be {
just and relatively fair allowance to thu
tranporters, for it is quite fit to bear il
mind the transporters are secondar.
party in this matter and the growers o
producers are first EMIT ed to fai
living, else why have we need of tras
porters at all. The idea of a bill from
transporters to the grower for additional
compensation above what the produc
has brought is a mOnstrOsity of Oppres
sion and injustice, a sort of robbery o.
Peter to pay Paul. Manifestly there
are some nice questions and fine points
to be solved in fixing upon proper
rateage.
A ton of products (gross weight of al
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1895-06-26

The descriptions botanical
wild
of
bind with These
of andes through these
New Ulm review., 1895-05-08
A SONG OF FATHERLAND.

I've wandered east, I've wandered west, 81
In gypsy wise random roamer.
OF men and maids I've known the best,
Like the far travelled king in Homer.
But, oh, for the land that bore mel
Oh, for the stout old land
OF breezy Ben and winding glen &: S@1
And roaring Aood and sounding strand.
I've stood where stands in pillared pride
The shrine Of Jove's spear shaking daughter,
And humbled Persia stained the tide
OF free Greek seas with heaps Of slaughter.
I've stood upon the rocky crest
Where Joves proud eagle spreads his pinion,
Where looked the god far east, far west,
And all he saw was Rome's dominion.
I've seen the domes Of Moscow far,
In green and golden glory cleaning,
And stood where sleeps the mighty car,
By Neva's flood SO grandly streaming
I've stood on many famous spot
Where blood of heroes flowed like rivers,
Where Deutschland rose at Gravelotte,
And dashed the strength Of Gaul to shivers.
I've fed my eyes by Land and sea,
With sights Of grandeur streaming Ger me
But still my heart remains with thee,
Dear Scottish land, that stoutly bore me.
Oh, for the land that bore mel 4 .4
Oh, for the stout old land,
With mighty Ben and winding glen,
Stout Scottish land, my own dear landl
~ .a.e John Stuart BlacEe.
New Ulm review., 1895-05-08
Bicyole G orsn
Little drops of water
hen II should Be fair,
Make the road al mud dy
And the cyclist swear.

lake the IOaQSs hi sLMuuQy
And the cyclist swear
Last weeks rain spoiled the Cycle
program, but the same runs are an.
nounced for this week. ain. i
Frank Webber is the latest Cycsist.
He rides q Victor.
Bicycle records are already being
smashed in the West. Bald rode mile
il q :03s As and two miles Id 2:O5 AS;
both Of these are records ia compel tition.
Very Important business IS to come
before the Club meeting tomorrow, and
every member is expected to be present.
What cyclist has not been annoyed By
9 creaking chain Very few know that
q little graphite is the best remedy. "
ways carry q stick q. graphite and ysu
will never have trouble with your chain
For every quarter IN mans pocket
there are a dozen uses and to use each
one In such a way as to derive the great.
est benefit is = question every one must
solve for himself. We believe. however
that no better use could be made of one
OF these quarters than to exchange itfor
a bottle Of Cham berlai,l's Golic, Cholera|
and Diarrhoea Remedy, a med Gicine that
eeVery family should be provided with.
For sale by O. NJ. Olsen, Druggist. Be
New Ulm review., 1895-05-08
A DUOLOGUE.

This is not problem story. =
Neither does it discuss the advantages
or disadvantages of having ''new wo-
men" in our midst. s=.
1t is true tale. ::. b. @ 4
And it concerns good man and a
bad woman. .
They would never have met if the
London county council had come into
existence a few years earlier than it did,
because he saw her at the Empire. The
exact date was Aug. 25, and it was a
very hot night. Il:
The curtain had fallen on the last
scene Of the ballet. The man rose from
his seat and walked across the prom
enade toward the bar
He passed several women, but he did
not pass her. He had no intention of
stopping, still less Of speaking. #
Yet, when he saw her, he stopped,
and when she stopped he spoke. .
do not remember what he said.
They sat down together at q little
table. A waiter brought them cup Of
black coffee and whisky and soda.
he drank the coffee. .5.
They talked, but again I cannot re-
member what they said.
A man on the stage sang comic
song Awoman on the promenade faint
ed and was carried away.
Then she said. .'Well, are you COM
ing?'' s h. ss.. (.
no" he replied. 81 don't know
why I stopped or why I spoke to you.
am not sone Of the crowd here. I am
not performer in the Comedy Of
Life. am only an onlooker. =
She stared at him. hon why -
s'I have told you ] do not know.
Perhaps I Thought you looked put Of
place here. = .5 III & 81. .:5
Il have been here every evening for
10 months. j ought not to look 'out OF
place'" 80 " III 55 3s5.. u z
why did yon come?'
Do you expect me to answer that
question in this building, surrounded
by these people?'' 515
II am sorry. OF course not. tt would
resemble q performance by The Inde-
pendent Theater society, i suppose?''
= had better 60, then, if you dc
not .-- ..
No; stay and talk. Are you happy?''
Hardly = 81. n
Are you miserable le?''
am not sure. = z a.
Did you ever love anything?''
Yes. ~ sSs .5z
hat?'' s5 B. s5.;
Life 1.-THE trees and fields; the eswili
moorlands; the sea; the birds thai
sing in the hedgerows; the cattle il
the fields; the horses and dogs at tht
farms Yes, I loved life. loved to fee
the wind blowing il my face; I loved
to smell thescent Of the heather; loved
to hear the song of the mountain
streams. Ha. hal I'm almost poetic
I'm, -
Go on. 3 ~ 3.s
Continued nextt week.
New Ulm review., 1895-05-08
Examine the, New line of Buckets and
Belts just received at Hauenstein's.
How to Treat a Wife.
(From Pacific Health Journal.)

II tFrom Fac1hcHealthJ JOurnalJ
First, get q wife; second, be patient.
You may have great trials and perplexi-
ties in your business, but do not there
fore, carly to your home q acloudy or
contracted brow. Your wife may have
trials, which, though Of less magnitude,
may be hard for her to bear. "a kind
word, a tender look will do wonders IN
chasing from her brow all clouds of
gloom. To this we would add always
keep a bottle Of Chamberla Cough
Remedy IN the house. It is the best
and is sure to be needed sooner or later.
Your wife will then know that you really
care for her and wish to protect her
health. For sale By Q. N. Olsen, Drug
.gist. s5... 81 IS. .5.. #5J
New Ulm review., 1895-05-08
JONES .l1,l AKEs Oh.
But the e boz People ~ Mako Trouble
for HIM ct. lssss

y Jones qualified Friday morning
as faci ory Inspector under the state labor
bureau and was assigned to work. The
Iopinion Of the attorney ~ general yesterday
settled the matter as far as the labor
commissioner was concerned. Laboring
people il the two cities have their eye on
the gentleman from Redwood, however,
and will cause him CO.'S siderable trouble
if they can. It is expected that there
may be q row when the state auditor
comes to draw his warrant TO pay Jones
first months salary. The labor people
have threatened to apply for writ Of
court restraining the auditor from max
ing out the warrant.
In the Globe this morning was q state
tment to the effect that there was some
thing personal against Jones in the posi-
tion Which5the labor commissioner took.
This is not true. The commissioner from
the start occupied a proper attitude with
regard to the matter. He was getting
ready to make the appoi ointment and put
Jones to work when the question of
eligibility was raised, and only delayed
the appointment until the attorney gem
.eral could be heard from. Nobody who
is interested in the case or is posted with
regard to it makes any such charge
Minneapolis Journal.
Mr.. d. p. Davis, a prominent livefy-
man and merchant of Goshen, Va, has
this to say on the subject Of rheumatism.
81 take pleasure in commenting Cham
berlin's Pain Balnlsfor rheumatism, as i
know from personal experience that it
will do all that is claimed for it. A year
ago this spring my brother was laid up
in bed with inflammatory rheumatism
and suffered intensely. The first appi-
cation Of Cham mberlnin's Pain Balm eased
the pain and the use of one bottle com
letely cured him. For sale by O. NJ.
Olsen, Druggist.
New Ulm review., 1895-05-08
Trouble Over a Creamery.

The following corresponds has been
received from Lake Hanska: !: .=s5s. d. 81.
Nobody expected when the creamery
was started that there would be so much
fuss about the business and management
as time has shown. 1t may be said that
too smooth sailing is not profitable and
that the fact that the shareholders keep
their eyes open proves an intense inter
est in the concern, but too much is too
much, as the beggar said when he re-
ceived a ducat, for hardly a month goes
BY now without a petition being circu-.
lated, and the only result is bad blood
among the owners. $
While the petition mentioned in the
last issue of this paper was being circu
lated another was started for the purpose
Of removing Mr.. Jorgenson, the presi-
dent. Of course, it was no easy task to
secure signers, for no. direct charge was
made against that official, butin the Ger
man settlement it was claimed that it
was best to dc away with him as he and
Mr.. Ahlnsss were opposed to the Skim
ming Station and that it might be aban-
tdoned in case he was not removed. It
was also claimed that the manager would
give up his position unless Jorgenson re-.
signed. The petition Of course received
signers. and the Saturday, set for the
meeting, was looked forward to with
great anxiety. AS expected the president
did not appear. He sent letter, how
ever, in which he said that he did not
intend to resign until it was shown that
he had made mistakes. The meeting
was largely attended and was heldin the
open air, where the discussion was limi
ted essentially toa sharp dispute be-
tween Hans Frederickson and Anton
Ouren. AS a result, Mr.. BreWbaker re-
signed as manager, his salary having been
reduced to $75 q month, and the bust
ness was placed in the hands of the sec
retary, Mr.. Thormedson. We wonder,
what next. 5 1. t.. 4.
| -
New Ulm review., 1895-05-08

A Cure for Muscular Rheumatism.
Mrs. r. L. Lamson, Of Fairmont, Hi
nois, says sM sister used Chamberlain's
Pain Balm for muscular rheumatism and
it effected . complete cure. keep il in
the house At al times and have always
found il beneficial for aches and palms.
Its the quickest cure for rheumatism,i
muscular pains and lameness Ihave ever
seen. For sale ~ q. n, Olson, Druggist,