Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-12-28
UNDER FIRE.
"What GLASS, sir?"

"What class, sir?"
"Third-not smoking carriage"
The porter deposited my gun and
cartridge cases on the rack and my
dressing bag on the seat in the corner
and accepted his sixpence with the non
chalance of man who, on Saturday
afternoon in holiday time, can make
plenty more Of them.
From Charing Gross to Cannon street
I had my compartment to myself. Hav-
ing reached that point, 1t was invaded
by horde Of the type generally referred
to as ones "fellow creatures. The
aristocrat Of the party was a clerk on
his way to Ramsgate for week. He
proceeded to fill and light a brier wood
pipe AS he was sitting at the other end
of the carriage and was smoking ira
grant tobacco from far Virginia, I neither
felt nor made any objection to his doing
so. 1t was different matter when a
gentleman of an obliging familiarity Of
manner joined us at London bridge, car
rying clay pipe charged with the
blacklist and most pungent Of shay.
Now the close proximity Of smoker
of shag is very abominable thing, and
it was for the sake of avoiding it on
journey Of some three hours duration
that had resolved to forego the COM
partnership Of my own pipe for that
length of time and had sought the Sc
clusion Of anonsmoking carriage, where
a possible baby would be my sole an
noyance. Consequently, when my
neighbor, after decent interval, ram
med a horny forefnger into the bowl Of
his pipe, and, producing dirty wax
match from his waistcoat pocket, pro-
ceeded to light up, I addressed polite
and carefully worded remonstrance to
him.
"I'm afraid this isn't a smoking car
rage" I said. He looked at me.
ooh, isn't ita' he said.
"No."
''Do yer object them"
81 don't object to it Oh the other side
Of the carriage" said "but I do OBJ
ject as you are sitting next to me"
"And who wants to sit next to yer,
ugly?" he inquired, with rising asper-
ity. eyer amt female, are yer, to
object to little bit O. baccy? It's a
pity yer didn't get into fust class car
rage"
cts a pity you didn't get into a
smoking carriage if you wanted to
smoke, I retorted. Sat any rate you re
not going to smoke here.
eli assure yer, my lord" he said,
with laborious suavity, "hi don't want
ter sit next t'yer. Hi shed be sorry to
contaminate my morals by such con-
ventuality,'' and he moved over to the
opposite seat in the middle Of the car
riage.
9Th tell yer wot I'll do" he pur-
sued. "I'll put out my pipe, SO there
now. I" He did SO and restored it to his
pocket with the air Of man who has
scored heavily. Then he leaned toward
me with his elbows on his knees and
took me in with whitening glance
from head to foot.
Hand may I harsk wot yore persi-
ton in life may be?' he inquired.
"Hare yer socialist or numbug, or
wot are yer? Do yer teach in the Sun
day school? P'r'aps yer'd like glarss
O. milk. !" Note the decreasing respecta-
bility Of the employments suggested as
his scorn ripened. "Wot dyer want to
prevent respectable man enjoying Of
is pipe for? / tell yer wot yer oughter
done. Yer oughter taken special train,
yer ought. That's ter say, he added,
with great elaboration and intense dis
dain, "if yer could afford it, yer know.
J don't serpoose they pays very Ugh in
the establishment wot commands yore
services" He was quite right. They do
not.
At this point, perceiving that I was
in for protracted harangue, took up
my Pail Mall Gazette and feigned an
absorbing interest in it's contents. did
it rather we'll ! ran my eye along the
lines, ] turned over page, and even al
lowed q smile to curl my lips at an en-
tirely imaginary joke.
THAT'S right commented my as
sailant. II am glad they taught yer to
read at the board SCHOOL. Yer 60 on and
yer'll be able to read The st. James
Gazette soon. J" The point Of this latter
sarcasm is not vet plain to me, but the