The Pascagoula democrat-star., 1895-01-25
JERUSHY'S DILEMMA

Dlu cNcI Ucll you HOW nlgn L cum
to bcin' Mistress Hezekiah Wiggins-
he that lives over the way and is a
lawyer by trade?
No! Well, that's funny, for I allus
love to talk about the bows l had,
when was young, for you know it
gives ME a youngish fcelin' agin. I'm
not an old woman now, but you see l
was younger woman thirty years
ago.
l don't think any old woman loves
to remember she is old: it is so hard
to grow old becomingly, and think
all the ladies who amt married or EN-
gagged will back me in what l say.
Why, when the first gray hairs cum
in my he'd l jest cried my eyes most
out. But I soon remembered my eyes
couldn't stand it, for they git so red
an1 swell so big l knowed I'd look a
fright, and your uncle was comm that
mite, and l didn't want him to sec me
with red eyes and a nose like a lobster,
for you may talk about woman
lookin.well in tecrs-but I've got my
fust one to see yet.
Now talk about noses, | think my
nose Is OF the puttiest kind. Old Dea-
con Wells says it is decided roming.
Now, that's what | call nice. There's
widow Mal0ney-she says her nose is
of the haristocratic turn: that's queer,
for when I look right strait at it l
think it is an old fashioned pug, a
real atumpy pug. and it looks kinder
like she TUX snuff, and both sides has
a little black ring around them, for
all the wurld like two little black
ringed peas.
l never TUX snuff but onct, and that
was for the gittar in the he'd. The
doctor subscribed snuff-the drug
man putit Inland like to a sneezed
my blasted he'd off. I seed moons and
stars a hole hour.
When was a gal, l was the put
ticst gal you ever sOt eyes on. A rale
scrumptiOus, putty gal. Now all The
old folks In our town SAID so, and you
know there obleegcd to be good
jed1es. At the quiltins' applebees,
and kissin' plays, I always got most
kisses, gumdrops and compliments;
and when going home time cum,
there was always a scramble as to
who would see me home. Them was
the happy days! Every gal had one
bow-some had two, and some had
more! That was what l call living.
But In spite of all folks sed, and all
the sweetharts l had, l didn't git
stuck up one bit. l knOwed l jest
had to lie down and die some day
and go to nothin' hut dust agin, so 1t
tickled my vanity to be made lots of
while l staid here.
Among the fellers that liked me
very much was Hezekiah Virgins.
Hez was long, slim feller-for the
world like bean pole that had run
up among the skies, and II a few more
had run up so high, would have loosed
a few OF the stars, and caused what
that perfeaser called metregarlic
shower. Now, l don't jest know egs-
actly what that means; ! know we
sing long and short metre, down to
the Sunday-school, and garlic grows
In our garden; two queer things to 60
together. l didn't much like Uezeki,
but l didn't downright hate him; and
l wanted to keep him on hand until
l found out whether your uncle meant
bisness or not. ! meant to bring
Ezra to the pint, i'll could, but II /
couldn't, why, then, Il ment to take
Hez, as l had no notion Of beIn' an old
maid. as
/ allus managed that Ezra and
Hezeki should not be to our home
both the same time, for l knoed they'd
be cutting ut oneanother, and didn't
know but thoy'd cum to blows. So, as
l sed, ! managed to keep them apart,
and th0t maybe Ezra would quit
coWin', and go-to see that good for
nothing Mehitabel Slacx-if he new
! HAD another bow.
Ode night Hez cum wheu was