davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-01-24
ON A SHARKS BACK.

fhe Man Who Stands Alone Among
Jockeys.
Joe Garcia is perhaps the only man
living who has ridden any distance on
The hack of man-eating shark, says
The San Francisco Chronicle. Joe was
at work for the Pacific Mail Company
1T Panama, and came to this city on
one of the company's steamers.
Sharks OF the man-eating variety
are plentiful at Panama, and make
40 bones of scratching their backs
against a boat when they feel that
way. Joe was going ashore in the
,ompany's steam launch one day, and
before the boat had got half way to
the landing 12-foot shark was OBJ
served swimming alongside the craft.
Garcia tried to drive the fierce brute
away by throwing Jumps of coal at
him, but the big fish took no notice OF
the coal. Garcia then picked up q
chain hook lying in the launch and
waited for q chance to strike the
shark. The hook had beckett on it,
and in order not to lose the hook Joe
slipped the beckett over his hand, and
inside of two seconds was very sorry
he had done so.
The big shark edged closer to the
launch and cast a longing look at Joe
as he leaned over the side OF the boat.
This was the chance Joe had been
looking for and he struck with all his
force at the brute's head. The sharp
hook penetrated the eye OF the big
fish, and the hext instant Joe went
over the side OF the boat like a
flash.
Maddened with pain the fierce tiger
OF the sea tore through the water at a
speed that threw the spray high in
the air and gave poor Joe no chance
to extricate his hand from the beckett.
Those in the launch at once gave
chase, but the fish darted hither and
thlther at twenty-knot gait, and
they had about as good chance to
catch it as they would have had to
capture a comet. The strain on the
mans arm was terrible, and it seem
ed as if that member would be torn
from the socket owing to the great
speed he was being towed through the
water.
Luckily for Joe the brute kept on
top of the water, and at last, blinded
no doubt by the sharp iron hook, it
dashed high and dry on the reef, drag
ging Garcia with it. AS quickly as
possible the boat was brought along
side, and one OF the men cut the beckett,
but not before he had been nearly
stunned by blow from the sharks
tail. Joe was nearly dead from pain
and full Of water, but he soon cameto.
His clothes were torn off by the terri
BILE rush through the sea, and he was
badly scratched by contact with the
sharp rocks.
The shark was killed, and in it's
stomach was found half a bushel part
ly digested bones, a shoe, and the bowl
of a pipe. Garcia preserved the back
bone of the big fish, and will make a
cane of it to remind HIM of the time
when he rode shark around the Bay
Of Panama
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-01-24
TOSSINCS.

Not wink all night. Toss? should saw
Turned fifty times. more or less: counted
sheep
a great, flock disappearing, leap by leap,
Over fence into dreamland, watched the
OF dim waters: thought myself in show
Riding the merry go-round with a sweep,
And several that made me dizzy; still no
sleep
III Then fell to thinking whether or no
There were crumbs in the bed, laughed
blamed the seams
An II, the sheets; got up, turned them unfast
Inc blinds; again lay down longing for
dreams
And sweet slumber that came not, till at
last
Just as across the hills the daylight crept
And the redbreasts sang of morning
slept.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-01-24
Cromwell's Idea Of a Joke.

These two curious extracts are
from contemporary annals: Recently
was my Lord Proctor's daughter
married to Earl of Warwick's grand
son. Mr.. Scobell. as justice of the
peace, tied the knot, after a godly
prayer made by one of His Highness'
divines; and on Thursday was the
wedding feast kept at Whitehall,
where they had forty-eight violas and
fifty trumpets and much mirth with
frolics, besides mixed dancing, a
thing heretofore accounted profane.
"The Protector threw about sack
posset among all the ladys to soyle
their rich Clothes. which they took as
a favor and also welt sweetmeats
and dawbed all the stooles, where
they were to slit with wet sweetmeats
and pulled of Riches his perucaue,
and would have thrown it into the
fire, but did not, yet he safe Up
Temple Bar.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-01-24
Literary and Musical.

His hair was long and flowing and
it would have been difficult to say
whether he was poet or musician,
at first blush. After blushing several
times, however, the casual observer
would have about concluded from the
air about him that he was musi-
clan. Somehow, the air is more dis
tinctly defined in music than it is in
poetry, anyhow.
The young woman in the case was
clearly literary. Her hair was in a
slump, and her cuffs looked as if they
ought to have the hose turned on
them.
''Have you,' she asked after they
had been talking some time, "have you
read 'Trilby?'
81 beg your pardon" he replied,
starting as if the name were not en-
tirely unfamiliar.
81 said," she repeated, 'have you
read 'Trilby?
"Oh, ali, him." he hesitated; "well
no, I haven't You see, have been
SO very busy learning Sweet Marie,
for my approaching recital that really
I have not had time to read much
recently"
And the conversation happily con-
tinued.-Detroit Free Press.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-01-24
WHAT THE WITS SAY.
LATE PRODUCTIONS OF THE AL
LEGGED FUNNY MAN.
he Picks Out the FOibles and Weak
nesses OF Human Nature and Makes
Them the Subjects of JcSts-Queer
Things Said and Done.

Did you attend the Bircher- acklong
wedding out at Billy-bee am last
night lke?" asked the able editor of
the Hawville Clarion.
. Jaw, yes" answered AlkaH Ike,
YEARLY; ~ was thar"
"Ot course there was o. lively time.
and all that?'
"Accordin' to how you looked at it.,
l called 1t mighty slow Outside of
the regular routine and the eatin'
nothln' happened worth mentionin'."
ITO be sure the preacher and the
groom got into L row because the d.
vine wanted his pay in advance; but
that Is a common occurrence. Tha
Rev. Mr.. Harps is too old a bird to
take any chances.
"Of course, Jack Howcome, the fid-
dler, had too much, as usual, and
this time he fell off from the table
and broke his bow arm; Jack was al
ways more trouble than he was worth.
1.-The brides mother who didn't like
the groom, anyhow, jumped on to tho
poor fellows neck jest before the cere-
mony with a rollin' pin, and it took
half dozen Of us ten minutes hard
Work TO tie the old lady fast in
rockin' chair, and carry her u few
yards out on the prairie.
"Durin' the rumpus somebody stole
the feed, and we never saw hide nor
hair OF it the rest Of the evenin'. They
accused me Of it, but 1 was as inner
cent as lamb, hain't that kind Of
man; and, besides, I had a private
snack of my own.
THAT was every blamed thing that
happened, except that deputy sher-
III slid in and arrested Coyote Pete
for horse stealin' or a little suit
that Away, and some Teller had j.
"Shucks! Weddin's hain't nowadays
what they used to be few years ago.
Lord! them was the times! But now
everything is gittin' to be too much
like it is in the East. Wrappers Maya
CINE.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-01-24
Height Of English Girls

Everyone is noticing how tall Eng
fish girls are now. The fact was dis
cussed at dinner table the other
evening, and someone said that men
seemed to be growing shorter in the
ratio as the girls taller. And what
was the solution offered for this puz-
zle? it was nothing more nor less than
that men smoke far too much and be-
gin the practice much too young. it
stops their growth and Injuries their
health; while their sisters, tobaccoless,
grow tall, graceful, and show the soft
roses and lilies of abundant health in
their fac,S.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-01-24

Kansas Air.
A man from the tamarack swamps
went to Kansas thinking to improve
his condition, but after three years Of
it he returned to his native heath.
'How did you like it out there?"
asked an acquaintance.
"Not very much"
tits good country, amt it?"
1--WE seen better"
here, amt it?"
"Sometimes it is, but not always"
II don't see why it amt as good one
time as another
well, it amt"
"Why?'
"Cyclones."
II thought they purified it?'
''That's what I thought till I tried
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-01-24
The Young AvenSer.

He was pretty little youngstcr,
with little fat legs that stuck out be-
meath clean, stiff~starched clothes.
what are you going to do when you
grow to be a man?' asked a visitor
The little fellows face assumed an
expression Of earnest gravity as he re-
sponded with voice which was evil
IDENTITY shaken by sad memories of the
past: whip a."-Tit-Bits.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-01-24

It, but when I had to breathe flrni
ture and weather boardin' and bed.
clos and shingles and live stock and
household goods, and farms and fence
rails and that sort Of thing about three
times a week l sort Of changed nv
mind and come away. Kansas may
have some advantages but air amt
one OF them as steady thing."-De
triOt Free Press
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-01-24
A Dictionary Dispute.

The other day great gaunt colored
man entered the express office, and
edging up to the man in charge took
off his hat and asked if there had been
anything received for George Wash
ington.
The clerk looked at the man search
ingly, and then with a knowing air
remarked:
"Ah, what game are you trying to
work on me now? He's been dead Iong
ago"
This story is much the same as the
story about the congressman who r.
clared in an address to the house:
GAS Daniel Webster says in his great
dictionary"
ut was Noah who wrote the die
tionary." whispered colleague, who
sat at the next desk
"Noah, nothing" replied the speaker.
"Noah built the ark. "-Florida Citizen.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-01-24
With or without.

II sell all my periodicals with or
without" said the train boy to the
traveller. Regular price with; double
price without"
"With or without what?" asked the
puzzled traveller.
'Those without have all references
to 'Trilby' eliminated"
without"
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-01-24

Wife-You are the most uncivil man
l ever met. / mended the hole in your
waistcoat pocket last night, and you
don't even thank me.
Husband-Yes! but how did you find
out there was a hole in the very peck.
ct l keep my money? Eth? Better let
sleeping dogs lie.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-01-24

of you.
He-Nonsense!
She-It is true, too true.
He-Impossible. You are an angel.
She-No, no, you are wrong. 1 am
an idle, silly birl, Utterly unfit to be-
come your companion through life.
He-This is madness. What sort of
wife do you think 1 ought to have?
Shea careful calculating, practical
woman, who can live on your small
salary.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-01-24
In Society.

Society Queen-I want a family
Bible.
Dealer-Are you one Of the -Four
Hundred?
Queen-Yes.
Dealer-Then we have them es-
pecially made for you; with forty
blank pages for marriages. forty for
divorces, two for deaths and none fol-
births. How's that?
Queen-Gimme six..-Kansas City
Gossip.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-01-24

She (significantly)-Why don't you
go out and see man?
He-Thanks. There's a man out
there waiting to see me. L owe him s..
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-01-24
Noble Resignation.

Fiance-Dearest, don't you think you
could love mother enough to have her
come and live with us?
Reggy Observation-Disclosures, darling,
more.
Fiance-How much more?
Reggy-Enough more to havo us 60
and live on her.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-01-24
The Opera in Chicago.

Romanticus-Ah, the days when
man could order his coach and four
have gone never more to return.
Practicalicus-Yes, alas. It Is now q
case of coach and five. At least that's
what I have to pay every time take
a girl to the opera or dance.-Chicago
Tribune.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-01-24
"When you answer this, !" he said to
Mabel, "tell Fay that papa kissed her

NV hen you answer this, no said to
Mabel, "tell Fay that papa kissed her
letter." -
Mabel laughed s
"Somebody told you," she said;
Fay's mamma kissed it too"
Fenwick colored. &c..
"Did she see it, too"
"Why, yes, when went to school
this morning, you know.
Does she know you come here2"
Mabel laughed again.
"Why, yes she said.
els she very lonesome?"
"You both ask me the same ques-
tions. When Igo to my new nam
ma she says: "Do you think Fay's pa,
pa is very lonesome?'"
els that so?"
Mabel nodded
~ am going to see her now" she
said, after minute.
"Who?" asked Fenwick.
"Who have we been talking about?'
said Mabel, smiling; "my new NAM
ma. She had a headache this morn
ing, and l thought I'd better 60 twice
to-day" -
"That's right" said the new man.
mas husband. "Was she very ill?"
~ think So" y 49,.
Ralph Fenwick ran his fingers
through his dark locks.
"Suppose you send her something
by me?' said Mabel.
"What!" cried Fenwick.
Mabel nodded.
Don't you remember when FAY
and took the tin candlestick, and
how pleased she was?"
Fenwick walked around the Office.
II remember" said he.
"You might send me a pair OF scis.
sors, only that isn't a good sign
something awful might happen"
ooh, we'll then, I wont send them,"
said he, with faint smile.
II suppose flowers are what the sick
should always have, but you don't
have flowers in your store" said Ma.
bel.
"You wait here and I'll be back in
minute" said he.
He took his hat from behind the
door and went out OF the store. Pres
emily he returned with q little bunch
OF violets in his hand.
"Here are your flowers" said he,
holding them out to her. "Give them
to her if you want to-
Mabel reached for them with little
scream OF delight.
"Violets!" she said. "And knowa
nice little verse to say when gave
them to her. Wouldn't that be nice??"
Every NICE" said Fenwick.
Mabel ran away joyfully. She could
hardly wait now. Every little while
she lifted the flowers and smelled
them.
"They are different from our little
vIlets," she thought "bigger, with
more leaves, and they smell more"
She saw Mrs. Fenwick in the win
dow as she neared the house, and ran
in without knocking.
'.See what I've brought!" she cried,
holding out the bouquet.
She raised them to her nostrils.
English violets and tender associa-
tions for her.
"rhey are yours" said Mabel, put
ting her. hands behind her. Fay's pa
pa sent them, and he said he thoug ht
it would be very nice to say this verse
with them:
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-01-24
A Dangerous Encounter.

Sargent-Poor fellow, did he lose his
eyes in the war?
Morton-Why, no; he tried to pass
woman in the street when she had her
umbrella up.-Truth.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-01-24
Had Tried 1t.

Cora Fee-You have husband, I
suppose?
Flory Fay-Oh, yes; and lately I've
taken up Mr.. Cookers idea, Of having
q business man as an associate.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-01-24
"The rose is red,
The violet blue,
Do you love me
AS I love yOu?"

J
Mrs. Fenwick did not move her
head. The color slowly mounted to
her forehead. Then she raised the
flowers to her lips and kissed them.
81 thought you'd like 'em," said
Mabel. Then noticing that the tears
were running down Mrs. Fenwick's
cheeks, she ran and threw her arms
around her. Don't cry; don't, please
DON'T" she said, entreatingly.
Mrs. Fenwick drew the little face
down to hers and kissed it.
"Did he really send them?' she ask
ed.
"Of course" said Mabel.
Mrs. Fenwick was silent minute.
Then she detached one OF the violets
from the others.
"Mabel, are you very tired?" she
asked.
Mabel looked out of the window.
"Not so very" she answered.
"And will you do something for
me?"
"Of course I WILL" said the child,
smiling.
'"Then take this to your new papa
and tell him I sent it,"
"Only one?"
Zone is enough" said Mrs. Fenwick,
smiling through her tears.
Her mind went back to the time
when she first sent Ralph a violet, a
token of her love for him. After the
child had gone she went to the door
and watched her down the street.
Her heart throbbed loudly, but she
still kept the fragrant violets clasped
in her hands.
Mr.. Fenwick had not been himself
since Mabel had departed. The books
lay open before him, but he paid no
attention to them. He had hardly
stirred when Mabel returned. She
was very tired, but held out the flower
to him with smile.
81 wish it was more than one," she
said, a tirae ashamed of the gift she
was bringing, "but she said one would
be enough"
Mr.. Fenwick's heart gave a bound.
"Who did," he cried, and almost
choked in asking the question.
"My new mamma" answered
Mabel, frightened at his emotion.
"She liked the flowers very much, and
kissed them, and told me to bring
this back to YOU"
"God bless the child" cried Ralph,
catching up his hat and taking the
little one in his arms.
Up the street they went, faster and
faster. Mabel did not dare ask to be
left at her own house.
Mrs. Fenwick saw them coming.
She started toward the door, but It
had already been opened. Mabel
walked in, and Ralph and his wife
stood motionless in each others
arms. Mabel walked about the
room feeling g. trife ill at ease.
Finally she returned to speak to
them, smiling bravely, though there
were tears in her eyes.
II wish," she said, that it was time
for Fay to come back. Idon't think
I can take care of you two much long.
er." a..-
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1895-11-29


penetrated the tender part OF her foot. She
was In intense agony and almost wild
with the pain.
Long before we reached the enclosure
In which she was we could hear her pite-
GUS trumpeting' and when we entered we
found her on three legs, swinging the hurt
FOOT slowly backwnrd ana Forward ana
uttering long cries of anguish. Such
dumb misery In her louks-poor thingl
Even DICK quailed now. You can
never get near her, he whispered. she IL
XIII you sure
Her keeper diyined what he said.
Don't you be afraid, Sir, he called out to
me: Hebe's got sense.
II TOOK my Dox OF instruments from
Mr.. Bnrnum.
ike your pluck, my boy, he SAID
heartily, but Town that felt rather queer
ana shaky as went up 10 the huge Deaso.
The mon employed ABOUT the snow
came around us curlousiy, butat arespect'
iul ana omlnently saie distance as L Den'
ooWn 70 examine the iooo.
mhiIe 1 Wns uolnB So as geney "s
could, 1 ieit' TO my horror, hghe touch
on my mar IL was as hBht as Woillnn 3
put as turned ana saw the great trunK
Dehlnu me IL hhu an awful suggestiNehess'
Shes only CURING your har' sang
OUT tne Keeper Doh lnlnu ner'
shaH nave 10 Out' anu Cu' ueep'
salu py way 0, reply.
he salu ieW worus IN soIie lihgo
Whlon were eVluehtiy intehueu ior the eie
Phhnts uhuersIanulhg onIy' men me nc
shouteu' "iVh Ohe uVInosO coOihesS' Cu'
away. ,,
me man laltn lnsplreu ms Ine,e e,t
nc stoou' ansolutely unprouecueu, uirect,y
III ,n Ironu Vi Ihe sreaU creature aIu quIoVly
lao9ereu AWAY 10 her us IL tnis were an e''
eryuny Oo1urrence'
me,i, ! minus one s,sii "iun .ne Ahile'
& rev tne grasp ON my mar tighteh peroep
uply, ycU hoO unBoh'iy' Colu urops vi per'
spifaelon pr ae,' sIoou OUT an over me,
0h"ii L ou' again' hianaseu u ot'ii
ouv' A.,
CuO awuy 0aihe Asaih Vhe enoour
Sging iiT Icsponse' ~,
LUIS s,,Uke uiu .ho MorA. srea'
n.ass Vi le.lu matter lolloweu Ille p''ss'sg' w
vi Iho hIilte' .iie aosoess was laii1eu. iIp wy
sprayeu OUT the Ioot Paokeu WIN oakuin
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1895-11-29

New YoRK, Nov. 26.-FLOUR-State and
western dull and featureless city mills pat
ents, SLlOd4.35; winter patents, Sj.5Od3 10;
city mills clears, S4G4lO winter straights, $3.50
63.4O.
WHEAT-No. 2 red opened active and high
er on foreign buying, hut fell Of losing all ad
vance; communication with west all cut Off;
May, 6795G6SISc.; Decemb r, 05A@Gi1fc.
CORN No. = quiet, but steady; May. 359sc.
OATS-hiay, 20 0-lGc.; track, white, stste, "A
d27c
PORK-Dull: family, SllG13.
LARD-Nomib Il; prime western steam. $3.50.
BUTTER - Steady: state dairy, l5G2ic.;
state creamery, l5D23y6c.
CHEESE Quiet; state. large, 7I4GlOc.;
small, 794Ql0Ac.
EGGS-steady; state and Pennsylvania, ga
26c.; western. 2l02Sc.
SUGAR-Raw quiet; fair refining, &c.; CEN
trifugal, 90 test, 39sc.; refined quiet; crushed,
b%c.; powdered. 4Ac.
TURPENTINE-Dull at 2734l12Sc.
MOLASSES-Dull; New Orleans. 2993ic.
RlCE-Dull; domestic, 33sG61sc.: japan, 3)s
6Ac.
Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1895-11-29
AGRATEFULPATIENT A

"I was a full fledged NJ. d. once and
never should have thought Of adopting my
present profession If it hadn't been for
queer accident when first hung out my
shingle.
~ had rich neighbor, a man was
bound to propitiate, and the very first call
had after days Of waiting for patients
who didn't come was TO his barn to see
what was the matter with his sick mare.
cured the marc and took in my shingle,
for from that day to this I've never pre-
scribed for a human being. l had won a
reputation as veterinary surg,Sn and had
to stick to It But that is mel ther here nor
there Only II you think Animals can't
show gratitude and affection perhaps you'll
change your mind.
"When I'd been in business a year OF
two, sent for my brother Dick. He was
a wonderful chap with all kinds of ami
mails, and thought perhaps could work
out Of my part Of 1t and leave that for him.
never did, for Dicks a cotton broker In
New York now, and should have to be-
gin all over again to make first rate
physician. But that's what / meant to be
then.
1.-THE very next day after Dick came /
got telegram from p. T. Barnum. I'd
been down there once or twice TO his own
stables, and he had good deal of faith In
me. The dispatch was:
Hebe has hurt her foot. Come at
once.
"Hebe was a favorite elephant-a splen-
did creature and worth a small fortune.
"Well, confess hesitated. distrust-
cd my own ability and dreaded the result.
/ But Dick was determined TO go, and &c
we did. When We got out OF the cars, Bar
mum himself was there with a splendid
pair of matched grays. He eyed me very
dubiously. ia forgotten you were such q
little fellow, he said in a discouraged
tone. I'm afraid you can't help her. His
distrust put me on my mettle
" Mr.. Barnum,' said /, getting into
the carriage, II 1t comes to hand TO hand
fight between Hebe and me, don't be
heve an extra foot or two Of height would
help me any
"He laughed outright and began telling
me how the elephant was hurt. She had
stepped ON nail or bit Of iron and IL had