The evening times., 1895-08-14
Thr8e Good Steries.

when the electric telegraph was new
tiiinx its operations were complete aston
ishnient to thousands Of people who II
they had heard II talked about had scarcely
needed what they heard. Many were in
creduious and refused to believe that
messages had been sent by wire even when
the messages were In their hands. Such
excian,ations as these were common:
THAT q message from my son John?
know better. That isn't Johns handwrit-
ing"
Even well-inforned people were aston
ished at the invention, says the Youths
Companion. Mr. Jnseph Jeffers rson, the
comedian. has lately told the story OF his
first telegraphic message.
.''I received II In Cumberland, Nd" he
says. II could not believe it, but there 1t
was-a reply To my letter Of the day before.
called at the office to inquire II it was
really SD.
"A group Of people had collected about
the operator, all wearing look of sur
prise and increduiity. We began showing
Ole another our dispatches and looking with
awe at the mysterious little machine that
was ticking away as IL worked by some
spirit Of the other world
AuC WhoiC tOWA Woo CA~ssSos -
were now TO receive a message from the
planet Mars / could not be more aston
ished than l was on that day"
There is lots of money in the barbering
business on board q man-ofwar," Faid n
ueJacket, on whose cap was black band
hearing in letters of gold the name Of the
hoodoo ship Olympia, and who was in
u,,r hn, ef rox.f veSterfax
waiting for his turn, says the San Fran
cisco Examiner.
"How's that.'' asked the man at the
and Is always on the lookout for an oppor-
tunity To do better.
"whay. taat's easy" answered the blue
Jacket Take the Olympia, the ehip I
belong to. She's got SCO men On board
They all get shaved and have TO have their
hair cut"
But how can a man get 1ob?" asked
the man at the second chair Hes got TO
have n pull hasn't he?''
but you needn't pull the hair out by the
roo;s," said the customer in the chair. 1t
strikes me you have very good pull
already"
IAN you've got TO do" responded the
blucjacket, lis to ship as a lar Gfman for
three years and be assigned to the barber
shop. Your pay irom tie government will
be $36 q month, and you will rank as
petty officer. Then you'll get $50 from
every man on the ship every three months
That makes s45O. Add to that $50 a
month, which is $1Os quarter, and there
you have $55S a quarter. That's not bad
for a barber"
The man at the second chair, who was
making an upstroke on the customer 8 face,
almost cut off a portion OF his ear when be
suddenly turned around to ask: washing
thrown in:"'
mo; the barber gets another landsman
TO wash the towels and other fixin's for $50
a month; but, tell you what, the barber
has 10 hustle"
The man in the secord chair, turning TO
the one at tSe first chair, said;
'Doss, when / Quit tonight I'm going to
look for q shIp-S166 a month at sea is
better than SIS week on land" q.
He may have been n haysecd. He
looked like 1T; but way DOWN deep in his
eyes the second time you looked you
seemed to notice a suspicion OF real
'.slickness'' that escaped you at first
He held a ticket to .Tecumseb when he
got ON the train at Topeka, according to
the Topeka State Journal, and he gave
| 1t up promptly to the conductor on de-
| mand.
When the conductor came through the
train after he had left Tecumseh he was
surprised to see the same man sitting
compiacently in the same seat.
"Ticket-' said the conductor.
Haven't got any" said the man.
Then you'll have to pay said the
conductor.
Cant do it, said the man.
Then I'll have to put you off, said the
conductor.
what, right out here in the country"
asked the man.
Right out here in the country" replied
| the conductor.
A good many of the other passengers
were Interested at once. and the argument
continued. The conductor nOticcd-he said
afterward-that the man kept looking out
OF the window as he talked, and did not
seem to be in a hurry. or course, the
train was running all the time
The farmer finally went down into his
pocket and got out his purse. He was not
III a hurry about it 4 md after he had opened
| it, seemed lost in thought.
Come" said the coDductor, II can't fool
with you all day.
Must pay or get off, eh?" asked the
| farmer.
II said that" replied the man with the
| punch. There was another moments ST.
leDce. The farmer took another look out
OF the window.
II guess you can put me off, ,"he said.
The train was stopped and the conductor
went to the rear platform to see that he
| got off and stayed off.
'See that white house over there?'
asked the son of toll.
The conductor could see 1t easily.
That's where work." said the farmer.
''This is the nearest the railroad con,es to
it. l am much obliged to you for letting
ME off here. 1 was afraid 1 wouldn't be
able to keep you interested till we got
here. Have cigar" and the granger
| jumped lightly to the ground and was gone.
The train was two minutes behind time
before the conductor recovered his breath.
We'll, III be -" lie salu, LII an hum If,ied
| tone. and then he went in and kicked the
| Dewsboy.
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