davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1895-08-09
THE FAKlR FLooREp.
when tho Man In the Crowd Asked
Question the Answer Wasn't Ready.

when the Man In the Crowd Asked
Question the Answer Wasn't ReAdy.
A new fakir struck town. He was
new in two senses. He hadn't been
long in the business and his fakement
was novelty. He WIS a young fellow
from Connecticut farm, whom the
king of the fakirs, who does business
in Grand street, New York, had in
v0igled into buying the territorial
rights" for western New York for a
burglar-alarm, which consisted simply
of a paper cap, such as children use in
their toy pistols, fitting into socket
near the catch in the window frame.
When burglar attempted to open a
window by manipulating the catch, so
the inventors theory ran, there would
be an explosion sufficiently loud to
awaken the household and result in
the cracksman's capture. the cap and
socket could also be used to play a
practical joke on the buyers friends.
They could be affixed to door, which
a victim could then by induced to open.
Imagine his CONSERVATION and the
hearty laughter of the assembled COM
pany," etc.
The new fakir did pretty well at
first He selected an eligible corner
on busy street and usually had an
open-mouthed crowd around him. On
the second day fate sauntered along in
the person of sad-eyed. thoughtful'
browed man, who listened for while
and then interrupted the lecturer thus
"Will you allow me to ask you a
question, mister?'
'C't'nly, sir" replied the fakir.
well, them" suppose the burglar
knows the cap is in the window and
pulls the sash down from the top, in
stead of showing up the lower half Of
the window to which the alarm il
affixed-what provision does your de
vice make for such contingency
The fakir thought for awhile. NJ
such emergency had been provided fol-
in the printed lecture which he hat
bought with his territorial rights
He hemmed.and hawed and quibbled
but he had no answer ready. TIL,
crowd appreciated the fact and jeeret
and melted away.
That night an idea came to broker
hearted man who was riding in DO,
car toward Cleveland. 1t was thu
failed fakir. "Why durn itr' he sait
to himself, "a man couldn't crawl il
through the top of window withou
showing the sash down far enough t.
touch the catch and strike the cap
Why didn't think of that when tina
teller was joshing me this afternoon?
Il But it was then too late.
| Thus does fate make monkeys o
men.-Buffalo Express.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1895-08-09
Whipped Cream.

In whipping cream the secret of sue
cess is to have cream and dish as cold
as possible If the froth is SKINNED
off, as is recommended, it is apt to fall
after time. 1t is better to beat stead
lily until the whole mass is the proper
consistency. 1t may be sweetened by
adding little sugar at time and the
favoring can be dropped in when 1t is
nearly solid. Very thin cream can not
be whipped. If it is too thick it must
be diluted with little milk or it will
turn TO butter in the proces@--Ladies'
| Home journal.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1895-08-09
The Words mt Parting.
"Ha! Hal!
The diving miser chuckled.

"Ha! Ha!'
The dying miser chuckled.
1T wasn't for nothing built bur-
glar-proof burial vault, for l intend
lie leered maliciously at his disap-
pointed heirs
THAT all my wealth shall be sealed
up there with me, inviolate till dooms-
day.
"Yes, yes"
1t was the nephew with prodigal son
proclivities who spoke.
1--WE have always known, dear uncle,
that you had money TO burn"
He was won't to say that the memory
of this parting shot was more sweet to
him than the breaking of the eccentric
niggard's will and the combustion Of
his share of the estate by far. IN. Y.
World. -
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1895-08-09
pin,nx-Room Refrigerators.

Refrigerators are now made to look
so like buffet that their real use is
completely disguised. This adds much
to their usefulness, permitting them,
as it does, to occupy some more promi-
nent position than was once accorded
them, and fitting them for place in a
dining-room. The emptying the water.
pan underneath. and the bringing in
the ice to fill the chest are the only
things now that initiate against the
refrigerator's standing in ones dining.
room if that is sufficiently cool to per.
init t.-Philadelphia Press.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1895-08-09
The Uncertainty Of F.ms.

"Hinncry Clay" said Mr.. Dolan,
"wor great mon"
ale wor that same" replied Mrs
Dolan.
"IIc wor that great mon," her hus-
band went on, that he had a cigar
named afther i'm"
"Thruc for yez Only 'twor nocigar.
Twor poipe. Washington Star
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1895-08-09
He Never Finished It.

II once read" began the boarder
near the foot of the table, helplessly
laying down his knife and fork and
gloomily cycling the fragment of meat
on his plate, ''of man who took his
own life, and under the English law,
they drove steak through his heart
That was tough" murmured the
boarder with the hollow cough.
Then they noticed the glitter in the
landlady's eve, and the meal proceeded
in silence. N. Y. Recorder.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1895-08-09
---------------------------- -
A Cheerful View.


The following story is told of cor
respondent who has recently returned
from trip to the far west of the
United States.
Two men who had been sitting to-
gether in the seat near the door of a
railway car became engaged in an ami
mated controversy, and their loud
voices attracted the attention of all
the other passengers.
Suddenly one of them arose and said:
Ladies and gentlemen, l appeal to
you to decide disputed point. My
friend here insists that no more than
three persons out of five believe they
have souls. l take more cheerful
view of humanity than that. VIII all
of you who believe you have souls raise
your right hands?"
Every hand in the car went up.
Thank you," he said. with smile.
keep them up just moment Now,
will all of you who believe in a
hereafter please raise your left hand
also?"
Every hand in the car went up
Thank you again" he said. Now,
while all of your have your hands
raised" he continued, drawing a pair
of revolvers and leveling them, my
friend here will go down the aisle and
relieve you of whatever valuables you
may happen to have. Lively, now,
Jim. "-Pearson's Weekly.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1895-08-09
why He sauealed.

Neig What made your little
brother squeal SO loud this morning?
Boy--Ia made him squeal shat way
sc tho re:sh sofS would believe we hat
killed pig. TEXAS Siftings-
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1895-08-09

Uncle Hiram-"If yer want ter
have good dogs yer must edjicate 'em
to il. took as much trotble to rear
my dog thar ez | did with my son Ike. !"
But that dog is no good."-Uncle
Hiram-.'Neither is Ike"
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1895-08-09
HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND.
It Was His wife's Parasol That Was Weigh
ing on His Mind.

ing on His Mind.
A tall, lank, son of Pike county stood
looking in the window of Pine street
haberdasher for ten minutes. His gaze
was directed at sign therein, and he
was heard to mutter:
"Wal, by gosh, that's luck! I'd give
two bits to git it back 'thout Mary
KNOWN ! lost it."
He then went inside and asked the
clerk for piece of paper, which was
readily furnished him.
He wrote on this: SIT had Mary's
name cut in the handle an wus kinda
blue culered an had wun rib broke"
Then addressing the clerk he said:
young Teller, I'll give you two bits
eff you'll git it back fur me. You see,
eff Mary knowed as lost it, she'd say
right away, them stock fellers was
showin' me the town an got full an
somebody stole it. Now see eff you
KANT git it fer me, will you?"
what on earth are you talking
about?" asked the clerk, who thought
he was dealing with an escaped luna
tic.
"Why, my wife's parasol, of course.
Don't you find 'em when they are
lost?'
Are you crazy, or what is the mat
ter with you? We sell umbrellas; we
don't find them when they're lost
This is no detective office"
''Wal, by gosh, what's that sign in
the winder mean, then?" said the Pike
county citizen, as he led'the clerk to the
window and pointed to the cardboard
sign reading: Umbrellas Recovered.
St Louis Post d Dispatch.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1895-08-09

The devil gets many boy by get
ting his father first. Rams born.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1895-08-09
THE SERVICE m ALL RESPECTS WILL 81
FIRST CLASS nv EVERY PARTICULAR.

Consult your ticket agent in regard to those
parties, or send for descriptive pamphletto
ia GRADY, Manager Burlington Route Tours
oil Clark Slreet Chicago, Ill.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1895-08-09

1t took strong men with crowbars to
release my friend. By good fortune
the rock that had fallen was conically
shaped, the smaller end uppermost,
else he would inevitably have been
crushed to atoms. AS it was both his
! legs were shattered from the knees
| down.
| No sufferer was ever nursed as Archie
was. Dorothy, whose grief was pitia-
BILE, would never have left his side, if |
had not forced her to do so. Her aunt
was equally devoted, while I, of
course, hid what could.
For a month he scarcely spoke.
Then he whispered to me one evening:
II suppose it's all up with me, Jack?'
Nonsense, my boy" ! answered
huskily, you're good for fifty years
yet"
II know" he murmured wistfully,
"but cripple for life, eh Jack?"
could not speak, and left the room.
Had not the great London surgeon told
me on his last flying visit that there
were but two alternatives-amp
tion of both limbs, or deathp The de.
cision, moreover, must be made within
a week.
had, of course, written to the Trev.
or family Of the accident, and then
one divinely beautiful August night
Lieut. Guy Trevor, Archer's elder
brother, came to Rose cottage to see
him.
His ship, the NewYork. was at Ports
mouth, and the moment he heard of the
boys mishap he hurried to him. Ant
the great big sailor-he was over 81,
feet, and looked like some giant of the
orient, with his splendid proportion.
and tanned features-kneit by hi,
young brothers bed and spoke to hin
with sobs in his deep bass voice.
Through the window saw the meet
ing between the sailor and Dorothy
and have often wondered since tber
why | did not scent the trouble at tbs
time.
| Both stood for an instant perfec .ly
still, transfixed by each Others won
dArful physical beauty. Then Guy in
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1895-08-09

The cost Of tickets for these Tours includes railroad
Transportation seepng-car fares meals and lodging
carriage and side rips-eyerythng save the incidental
Great Falls weekly tribune., 1895-05-03
A SHORT TALK WITH YOU.

We have purchased many Dry Goods and Shoes little
while dark Dry Goods quarters could stow
away just certain of goods Now have the randes
best lighted and most commoous Dry Goods and Shoe
the West We have bought too much We have enough for
wholesale house. Enormous Quantities. and must be Unloaded
Only way of it. We hate to spoil the profits for
brother competitors but they must CO. Commencing today WE
SLASH EN- Do us the read Prices and visit the
See what we do
Great Falls weekly tribune., 1895-05-03
Here's a Circular that
Slashes Prices.
Read It
READ THIS
Carefully.
CHOICE CALICO, 48C

We sell the best solid colors and
figured Prints, the best standard
goods, both light and dark color
ings. We offer only the best
qualities.
Great Falls weekly tribune., 1895-05-03

WE ARE ALWAYS LOWER ON
AS WE DO IN
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1895-11-20
How to Prevent Group.

SOME READING THAT WILL PROVE INTER
EsTING TO YOUNG MOTHERS. HOW TO GUARD
AGAINST THE DISEASE.
Group is terror to young mothers and to
post them concerning the cause, first symp-
toms and treatment is the object of this item.
The origin of Group is common cold.
Children who are subject to it take cold very
easily and Group is almost sure to follow.
The first symptom is hoareness this is
soon followed by a peculiar rough cough,
which is easily recognized and will never be
forgotten by one who has heard it, The time
to act is when the child first becomes hoarse.
If Chanberlain's Cough Remedy is freely
given all tendency to Group will soon disap-
pear. Even after the croupy cough has de.
veloped it will prevent the attack. There is
no danger in giving this remedy for it con
tains nothing injurious. For sale by Gruhle
Bros, Druggists.
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1895-11-20
NUGGETS OF NEWS.

The wife of j. X. Emmett the actor, has
brought suit for divorce at San Francisco.
1t is understood in London that Sir
Philip Currie will become British ambas-
sador to France when the Turkish troubles
are settled
Cholera has reappeared in st. Peters
burg and other parts of Russia. Since
Nov. nineteen fatal cases were reported
in the capital.
Senator HOar, of Massachusetts, has can
celled all his engagements to appear in
public before the opening of congress, on
the advice of his physician
A dispatch from Lowell, Mass, SAYS:
Fearful condagration in business district
threatened Explosion and possible loss
of life. Probable loss, $3.50, 900.
Large expectations of oranges is going
on from the state of Jalisco, Mexico, to
the United States, and the crop has been
bought by American fruit dealers.
The commission appointed by the Choc-
taw and Chickasaw Indian councils TO
consider the propositions of the Dawes
commission report against accepting the
land in severalty.
James Goldman, an attorney of Macon,
Ga, and Mason Stevenson, the 9-year-old
son of Rev. r. M Stevenson, of Bethany,
s. c., were admitted TO the Pasteur insti-
tute at New York yesterday.
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1895-11-20
Charges Against New Yorl,,s sheriff

ALBANY, Nov. 2O.-Henry Grasse, of
New York, has filed charges Of malfeas-
ance in office against Sheriff Edward Tam.
sen, of New York county, and asks for his
removal from Office. The petition charges
that the sheriff was guilty of negligence
and mismanagement in having incompe-
tent men about Ludlow street Jail, which
resulted in the escape of the three post
office robbers; that he unlawfully received
S15 week from these prisoners, for which
they received the liberty of the Jail; that
he wrongfully employed James p. Archi-
bald as warden, who was arrested for in
toxication while he held that position, and
that the sheriff extorted excessive fees
over what is allowed by law.
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1895-11-20

strikers" will shout vigorously against the
proposition, but it has worked so satisfactor-
lily in Lancaster county that we have no
doubt that it would be the same in Schuyl-
kill. The fact that Shenandoah, Mahanoy
City and now Ashland have adopted the
system in their local elections, shows con-
clusivcly that the people of the upper part OF
the county are partial to it. We believe il
Republican convention to vote of the party
the sentiment would be strongly in its favor
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1895-11-20
ENTERTAINING ROYALTY.
Some of the Curious Rules That Are OBJ
served at the Dinner Table.

Some of the Curious Rules That Are OBJ
served at the Dinner Table.
Many people are not aware what bust
ness entertaining royalty is, how they are
hedgcd off by hundred little observances
from ordinary mortals and treated as if
they were a different order of beings en-
tlrely. If any one, for instance is honored
by being allowed to entertain prince and
princess at dinner, all the other guests in
vited to meet their royal highnesses are
asked for a quarter of an hour before the
time, so that there may be no chance of
the illustrious guests waiting.
One very curious rule is that at dessert
none but the royal guests must have finger
glasses put before them. The origin of
this rather uncomfortable restriction is
interesting. At a time when Jacobites
were more common than they are now, and
when the chances of rising in favor of the
Stuart pretenders to the throne were not
altogether remote, certain highbOrn rebels
were accustomed to drink to the king,
holding their glasses over the water in the
finger glasses. And so, while apparently
drinking loyal toast, they We're really
drinking to "the king over the water"
When the ladies have left the dining
room, cigarette at the dinner table is the
lnNaFldDlS CuSlOll. Liz prince WnO6N6r
he may be, must not be asked to light his
cigarette with an ordinary match, but has
little spirit lighter handed him for his
sole use
Upon one occasion, when the Prince of
Wales was dining in the hall of Trinity
college, Cambridge, in which it is consid-
cred by the dons sort of sacrilege to
smoke, he was not offered the customary
cigarette. The prince had been an under
graduate at the college and may have felt
some hesitation in defying the well known
custom.
But nature prevailed, and his royal high
ness pulled out his cigar case and lit up,
an example which was gratefully followed
by many of the other guests.-New York
.TOurnal
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1895-11-20
PENNSYLv vANIA RAILROAD
sCIUYKILL DIVISION.
NOVEMBER II, 1895.

Trains will leave Shenandoah after the above
date for WiggaHs, Gilberton, Frucl5vile Dark
Water, st. Clair, Pottsville, Hamburg, Reading,
Pottstown, PhoeniNville, Norristown and Phil
adelphia Broad street station) at OS and IL 40
a. m. and 10 p m. week days For Potts.
vile and intermediate stations 10 a. IN.
SUNDAY.
For Wiggans, Glberton, Fracl<ville, Dark
Water, st. Clair, Pottsvile, at Os, 40 a m. and
10 p IN. For Hamburg, Reading, Pottstown,
PhueniXville, Norristown, Philadelphia at 90,
40 a. M, 10 p.
Trains leave Frackville Tor Shenandoah at
10 40 n. m. and IL Ii, o. ~ and TO- p. m.
Sunday, IL 13 "A. IN. and 40 p. IN.
Leave Pottsville for Shenandoah at 10 10, II 4s
a. IN. and 40, 10 and 100 p. m. Sunday Mt
10 10 n. m, 10 p.
Leave Philadelphia, BROAD street station), for
Shenandoah mt 3 81 and 35 a. M, 10 and II
p. m. week days Sundays leave mt so o. m.
Leave Broad street station, Philadelphia, for
Sea Girt, Asbury Park Ocean Grove, Long
Branch, and intermediate Stations $50, S.25,
II 80 n. M, $50, 400 p. m. weekdays. Sundays
(stop at Interlakeu for Asbury Park, s.25 a. m.
Leave Broad Street Station, Philadelphia,
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1895-11-20

AUBURN, n. Y, Nov 2O-In the United
States district court, before Judge Coke,
Mary T. McMillen, alias Mary Mack, is on
trial for counterfeiting United States
postage stal1ps to the face value of $50, 600
Nathan Herzog, of Chicago, a tobacco
dealer, and Edward Massouth, a stamp
dealer, of Chicago both testified that they
ordered stamps from the Novelty Supply
company, but refused to accept them be
cause of the counterfeits. George II. Law.
renee and Homer H. Drew, clerks in the
office of the Wells Fargo Express company
at Buffalo, identified the woman as the
one who expressed the stamps to Chicago
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1895-11-20
READINGS REORGANIZATION.

The proposed plan for the reorganization
Of the Philadelphia & Reading Railroad Com
pany was made known in New York Monday
and is likely to meet with considerable OPP
holders appearing to think the assessment of
90 per cent. on the steck excessive. 1t is re-
is also to be paid by holders of the $44 600, 600
general mortgage bonds and the S56 900, 900
first, second and third preference bonds
which are to be wiped out and two classes Of
preferred stock issued for them.
The dispatches state that the plan may be
modified, and as some of the leading bankers
of New York have already indicated their
opposition to it, this will probably have to be
done before it can be adopted. The expecta-
tion that reorganization can be effected with
cut assessing somebody cannot be realized,
and it is more than likely the shrieks of the
opposing faction are intended only to scare
the committee into giving them better terms.
1t is generally conceded that 250OO, 600
will be needed to carry any reorganization
scheme to successful ISSUE and an assess
ment of 20 per cent. on the stock will produce
only SsOOO,O 600, or about one-third Of the
amount needed, leaving the balance OF
$4,000, 900 to be raised among the holders OF
the bonds. 1t is a question whether the
payment of these assessments will not be
advantageous to all the security helders il
the greatly increased value Of their holdings
which, it is stated, will likely be greater thar
the present value of the securities with tn,
amount of the assessments added.
However it is accomplished, it is to b,
hoped it will not be temporary eIpedien
like the reorganization of 1887, but will pu
the company on such footing that it will
have no difficulty in paying its way an'
making at least fair return upon its capital
ization Such consummation is devoutl,
wished for by the people of Schuylkil
county, the interests of which are so closel,
identified with those of the Reading company
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1895-11-20
A CAMPAIGN TRICK.
Gesting the Best of an Abusive Adversar,
In Kentucky.

In Kentucky.
The following story is told by Edward
j. MoDermott in an article entitled "Fun
on The stump" in The Century;
A few years ago plain country doctor
and n Mr. May, who was fond of iewelry
and wore a valuable diamond stud in his
shirt bosom, were running for the logisla-
turo in one of our counties The race was
close and hot At one speaking the doctor
made the following fierce and dangerous
thrust ut his opponent; "Fellow citizens
don't you want an honest man in the
legislatures OF course you do. Now what
sort of man is my opponentp Why, gentle
men, look Mt that magnificent diamond he
wearsl 1t is almost as big and bright as
the headlight on a locomotive. Your eyes
can hardly stand its glare. 1t is worth
hundreds-maybe thousands-of dollars.
AT what valuation do you suppose he has
put it for taxation in his return to the
state assessor2 Why, at the pitiful sum of
S20r' The crowd yelled for the doctor.
Three days later the two met again in
joint debate. Again the doctor took up his
telling theme and held forth eloquently
and passionately in denunciation of dis
honesty and diamonds and false assess
ments, and then he again told of Mays
false return to the assessor. Look at that
gorgeous pin, gentlemen My eyes can
hardly endure its dazzling rays. Solomon
in all his glory
"Hold on there, dootorl' said May. "Do
you mean to say this pin is worth more
than S20?'
eyes, do-2O times or 30 times S2O"
"Would you give $50 for it, doctor?'
"Of course l would"
"Well, you can have it for that
Gan rightI' said tho doctor, and he
hurriedly counted out the money and took
the pin. Then May rose to speak, and the
crowd oheered him. He was undoubtedly
"gcme' and honest. He was willing to
take what he said the pin was worth. He
was elected. A week after the election he
called on the doctor and said: doctor,
don't want to rob you of your money.
Here's your 500 That pin you bought was
paste. got it in Louisville after your first
speech. Here is my real diamond. If 1 can
ever serve you, let me know"