The Somerset reporter., 1895-11-28
A LEARNED TURKEY.


The oatfields were cropped bare as a
convict's head The corn was in the
shock and there was a touch of winter
in the winds which blew over the hill
pasture. The months had gone by since
the thoughtful turkey had been brought
III squawking from the lane. He had
grown large and portly and carried him
self with dignity. Fortune, which had
appeared to him i'll the guise of Hilda,
had been very kind to him. He had
been permitted to share the lawn with
an aged peacock of great personal beau
ty, from whom he had learned gentle
manners and department, He had dined
daily at the kitchen door. III the even
ings he had stood near the doorstep,
where Hilda and John-John was the
farm servant-sat and talked. Their
conversation was not instructive, They
talked chiefly about themselves and q
cottage and love and other foolish top
les, but it afforded the turkey food for
thought He would stand somberly on
one leg as the shadows deepened and
the stars came out and watch the work
ing of their minds.
at is plain, he said one evening,
that they are thoughtlessly optimis
tic "
He was watching them closely. John
had taken one of Hilda's red hands in
his brown hand and was looking par
ticularly and fatuously happy.
"When the corn's in, Hilda, John
was saying, "I'll ask the old man if we
can have the little wooden house.
Hell be only too glad, said Hilda.
81 guess he's expecting it, " said John.
It'll be big enough for us, said
Hilda.
For tho present. said John, and
looked so particularly, foolishly happy
that the turkey turned away i'll disgust.
He strolled across the Lawn in deep
thought. Like all those who are solitary
or have the society only Of interiors, he
had fallen into the habit of talking to
himself
at is evident" he said, speaking his
thoughts aloud, THAT these two people
will marry They will move into the
little wooden house. They Will live
there They are such poor, dull crea-
lures they will not even know they are
unhappy. They will have children and
in their fatuous way be happier still.
Poor things! 1t is bad enough to be I'M
happy and know it. How much worse
is the state of those who are unhappy
and think they are happy! Poor things -
He stood on one leg and thought.
The moonlight streamed down and
made "a silhouette Of him in black shad-
ow ON the whitening lawn. He stood
there for an hour, immovable; only his
brain kept turning, turning and eyolv-
ing thoughts.
"It is really very ridiculous" he
said, "but can't think of any way Of
putting an end to this wretehed state of
affairs. | am not mt my best tonight. !"
"What seems to be the natter asked
the peacock who came up, trailing a
yard of rainbow plumage behind him.
Il am thinking said the turkey
rather disdainfully. ut is an operation
which will not interest you, my friend. !"
"Ab, perhaps not, said the peacock.
"What were you thinking about? And
why were you doing it?"
~ was thinking" the turkey replied,
for be was always willing to talk. Il
was thinking, or, to be more accurate,
was trying to think of some way of
stopping this silly habit people have of
coming into the world, eating and GO
ing out of the world again, leaving be-
hind certain number of 'understudies'
to use phrase taken from the slang
of the theater-to repeat the ridiculous
operation. p"
$50 you We begun to think about that,
have YOU" said the peacock, laughing.
well, | should think You would. "
"What are you laughing at?' the
thoughtful turkey asked sharply.
ooh, nothing, said the peacock; of
course you re interested in the question,
I'm not, you see. "
"Well, don t see "
lyon don't see? Well you re partic-
ularly slow witted, even for a turkey,
said the peacock.
Perhaps you'll explain the turkey
rejoined sarcastically.
Certainly" said the peacock "why
not?"
go on, said the turkey
"Well, they come into the world,
don't they"
"They do, D." said the thoughtful tur-
key, Though I've never yet thought TO
think where they come from. III do 1t
tomorrow Go on-people come into the
world. "
"What do they do?" asked the pea
cock, with growing triumph.
what do they do2 Eat said the
philosophical turkey,
Eat what?'
"Oh, all sorts Of
You'll screamed the peacock in a
burst Of triumph, 'you They eat you.
They pick your bones. They suck the
marrow out of your thigh bones. Some
of EN- prefer white meat, and some Of
'em dark. and sumo of EN- say, It's I'M
material. thank you. So it is to them.
But it's not to you. Oh, no, it's you
they are eating, and
Stop stop" cried the thoughtful
turkey. ''This is too horrible. 1t is some
CHASTITY, grim and fearful jest Eat me?"
Eat you" said the peacock more
calmly, they eat you, my learned
friend, after you have been roasted to q
heau tiful brown ~