Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-02-07
Let Us An Laugh.

/ Let Us All Laugh.
"Bilkins Is one of the most popular
men In town." "Whn is your author
ity?" "Bilkins himself Chicago In
ter Ocean.
did you say you wanted Shakes
peare's works." asked the book store
clerk. mo-" replied the naughty girl,
II want his plays. Washington Star.
"Where In thunder are you going
with that stove and all those over
coats" II am going, my friend, to
spend the winter in Florida. Atlanta
Constitution.
II shall expect you," said the justice
to the colored culprit, "to tell the whole
truth" de whole truth, subj" Eyes,"
, ledge, jes' gimme six monthsv-At-
lanta Constitution.
Mistress-You broke my Sevres plate.
You are discharged. How did You
break 1t? Servant carelessly drop
ped one of the biscuits you made yes
terday on it.-Woonsocket Reporter.
"Ah, Jack, did your rich old uncle re-
member you in his will?" Jack-Yes,
he inserted clause requesting his ex-
ecutors to collect at once all the loans
he had made me.-Boston Bulletin.
Brace-I paid a man $40 to-day for
carrying my overcoat. Bagley-Isn't
that an extravagant price? Brace
Oh, l don't know, he had carried 1t
since last spring.-Smith, Gray & Co.'S
Monthly.
Behold the felicitous father,
His daughters wedding when at,
| Supporting the bride to the altar,
And the bride and the groom after
that.
Atlanta Constitution.
"Good-by, Old Slowv' shouted the
bicycle. "You are not in my class"
Anyway" retorted the cart horse, II
am not as awkward as you are.
don't fall down standing still."-Cin-
clnnati Tribune.
Bobby = You ought to see my big
sister. Everybody says she's a beau
ty. JOHNNY bet she can't hold can
die to my sister fer looks, Why, my
sister sold twenty-five tickets for q
charity concert-Good News.
He = Mrs. Swelltop certainly is a
beautiful woman. She carries all be-
fore her. She (spitefully)-Force Of
habit, suppose. hear she was wait
ress before Swelltop married her,
Philadelphia Record.
Mrs. Empec-I can't understand how
a man can love a woman who has a
physical deformity, can you? Empec
oh, don't know; shouldn't think
less Of woman who was tongue-tied.
! p. & s. s. Co.'s Bulletin.
Schoolmate = why do you never
touch your piano." Miss Thumper-
Ewes buying it on installments."
"What difference does that maker
"Tm afraid IL paw should hear me
play, he'd stop paying."-Good News.
"What do you think of these eggsY'
whispered the lean boarder. "These
eggs" responded the fat boarder,
whose occupation was that of adver-
Using clerk in newspaper office, 'are
too late to classify. Chicago Tribune.
"When was down in Texas" said
tie returned drummer, II found just
one busy man. He had the salt rheum
and Waterbury watch. When he
wasn't scratching himself he was wind
ing his watch."-Chicago Tribune.
A nosegay rising to majestic height;
A feather with mastodonic curl;
A wilderness Of bows and laces light.
And somewhere meath the fluffy
heap, girl.
Washington Star.
"Here have to talk three hours be-
fore you will even let me have a dol
lar" "Well, isn't that pretty good pay
for doing what you take delight In
You would talk anyhow, even If you
didn't get a cent"-Indianapolis Jour
nal.
She was new telephone GIRL
"What number, pleaseT Zone hun
dred and fifteen" II didn't catch
that" zone hundred" "Yes?'
"And fifteen" "All right. Here ID
100. Fifteen is busy just now
Harper's Bazaar.
Mrs. Quizby-Why didn't you sell
your house after you advertised It'll
Mrs. Homester-When we saw the de.
scription that the real-estate agent
gave of it we thought it would be q
paradise lost il we did.-Philadelphia
Inquirer.
II don't believe in that proverb
Marry In haste and repent at LEISURE y
said Cynicus. why not?" asked Bit
terhouse. 1T strikes me as being
good" "Ah," said Cynicus, ''but you
forget. The married man has no lei
sure."-Harper's Bazaar.
you're not a cousin or anything
like that Of our fair hostess, are you p
"No; nothing of the sort" swell, did
you ever attend such a stupid affair In
your life" "Ye-es, a good many. L
I'm her husband, you see, and 1 have
to."-New York Recorder.
Tramp-About year ago came by
and you gave me an old vest You may
not know 1t, madam, but there was q
IS note In that vest Lady of tho
House-Mercy! Have ycu brought Il
back7 Tramp-Not much! 40 come
for another vest.-Tit-Bits.
Stranger - Zum Donnerwetter, now
you have cut my chin a second time. II
you can't shave better than that YOU
will lose all your customers pretty