Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1895-04-17
A Greeley Story.
How Two Chicken Cocks Wrote an Edito-
rial for HIM.

A Greeley Story.
/ How Two Chicken Cocks Wrote an Edito-
rial for HIM.
HAYDEN Carruth tells a great story
in Harper's Monthly for April apropos
of the VIGOROUSLY bad handwriting of
Horace Greeley and the trouble it gave
the compositors of the Tribune One
of these compositors, named Larkway,
a character in the composing room as
Greeley was in the editorial sanctum,
was noted for being able to make some
thing out of anything Mr.. Greeley
wrote. On the occasion two live young
roosters of a new strain were sent to
the editor as a present. but he com
planned that they ate up all his paste,
and he gave them to the foreman of the
composing room to get rid of them.
What followed Mr.. Carruth tells thus;
"After they had been with us a cou-
pie of weeks the boy one day left the
ink-roller of the proof-press on the floor.
One of the roOsters walked over it and
then across piece of white paper. The
foreman saw him and a great light burst
in upon his mind which nea ly stunned
| him. He slapped his leg with his hand
hard enough to break it and shut his
| jaws together like wise to keep from
breaking out in volcano of laughter
| He walked to his desk as if in a trance,
keeping his eye on L.arkway. Before
he went home he spoke to the proof
reader and one or two others, and they
| fractured their legs with their hands
and then they all went off to the hos
pital for the night.
1.-THE next afternoon they were back
at the office two hours before the usual
time. The foreman caught one rooster
and the proof reader the other, and
they took them over in the corner be
hind the imposing stones. They had
previously sent the devil down to Mr..
Greeley's room to get dozen sheets of
the paper he always wrote on. These
they spread on the floor in the form of
a square, carefully linked the feet of the
fowls and set them to fighting on the
copy paper. They had just had meal
of cockroaches and they went at each
other savagely. Every two or three
minutes the men would take them off,
ink the bottoms of their feet and toss
them into the ring again. At the end
of the twenty minutes every sheet of
the paper was covered with their
tracks, and the foreman gathered up
the pages, numbered them and scrawl-
ed a head on the first one. The Plain
Duty of Congress-, in the imitation of
Greeley's hand, marked the whole
sBrevIer-Double Head, and hung it on
the copy book.
Pretty soon the men began to drop
in, but they had all heard the game
was up and picked around the article.
After awhile Larkway came numbering
along. He had just made a new pipe
out of the biggest corn ever raised in
4 70
crooked pigs tail from BrattIeboro'.
Vt, and seemed unusually pert. He
started the confagration in his pipe.
put on the spectacles and walked to the
hook.
"'Hey You fellers still soldering.
amt you" he cried. Still afraid of the
old mans stuff, hey? Can't rastle with
it, can you? Had to leave it for old
Larkway, didn't you? Well, that is all
right. like it You do me a favor
when you leave it to me-
He took it, walked over and slam.
med it down on his upper case, plant
ed handful of leads on the bottom of
it and picked up his stick Every man
in the room held his sides and watched
to see the old flabbergasted, but by the
Goodness of Truth he began to set it. |
"4es, Larkway started to set it, At /
the end of the second line he began to |
look little troubled, laid down his |
stick, and we thought our moment of |
victory was come, but he only swore a |
little, knocked the ashes out of his pipe. |
refilled it, lit it with one of the husks |
from the outside, picked up his stick |
and went on. You could have packed |
every one OF us in hat box The oil
cave dweller worked on and reve look |
al III hn oil,
bottom of the last page Here he stuck |
on the place where the rooster had |
slapped down the end of his wing, also
inky. Larkey studied over it for long
time, then he said to the foreman.
Darn If the best of us don't GET
hung up on word once in a while. |
What's that down there /?
Don't ask me, said the foreman
You know that | cannot read the
stuff Go down and ask the old man
hlmself.'
''Larkway shuffled out with a long
face. carrying his pipe in one hand aud
the copy in the other. He went into
the chief S room and said in low tone:
$ Mr.. Greeley, LIN stuck. WHAT is that
word?'
Greeley snatched the sheet from his
hand impatently. stndird for a mo.
ment, and then squeaked in his high
ST voice:
Demonstrations, sir! Great J, h IS
haphat, it seems TO me sometimes as if
this office was full of pesky college
graduates, and after have given the
jauitor strict orders not to allow one
of them in this buildingn'
IA fearful crank. an awful croak,
My wife has come to be-
So said friend one dreary day.
In confidence to me.
"Did'st e'er inquire said I to him
What pains and aches she knows?
AS like as not she's tortured by
Some one of woman's woes"
Uterine disorders especially depress
the spirits and sap the energies and |
vital force. For these distressing con-
plants. functional irregularities, un |
natural discharges. constant pains |
weak back. lassitude, dizziness. sinking
sensations and all weaknesses. peculiar
to women. DIR. Pierce's Favorite Pre-
scription is the specific.
The rascality O defaulting treasurers
and Others in places Of public trust
produces distrust that is even more
harmful than the loss of money.
Clinker--WiTat do you think of this
Prince Albert? 1t was my brothers.
and | had it made over for me.
Calloway-Don't you think you are
IN oh nrf 10 Loo d.; Al