davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Morris tribune., 1895-07-31
He ui11 Not Droun Himself.
(From the Troy, N. r, Times. }

| X. w. Edwards, Of Lansingburg, was
Frustrated by sunstroke during the war,
and it has entailed on him peculiar and Sc
| r1ous consequences. At present writing
1 Mr.. E. is a prominent officer Of Post Lyon,
u. A. r., Cohoes and past aide de camp on
the staff of the commander-in-chief of AL
bany Co. In the interview with reporter,
he said:
81 was wounded and sent to the hospital
at Winchester. They sent me together with
| others to Westinghouse ride of about 100
| miles. Having no room in the box cars we
were placed face up on the bottom of fat
cars The sun beat down upon our unpro-
| tected heads. When I reached Washington
was insensible and was unconscious for
ten days while in the hospital. An abscess
| gathered in my ear and broke; it has been
gathering and breaking ever since. The
result of this 100-mile ride and sunstroke
was heart disease, nervous prostration, in
somnia and rheumatism. A completely
shattered system which gave me no rest
| night or day. AS a last resort took some
Pink Pills and they helpedme to wonder
full degree. Ny rheumatism is gone, my
heart failure, dyspepsia and constipation
are about gone, and the abscess in my ear
has stopped discharging and my head feels
as clear as bell when before it felt as
though it would burst, and my once shat
tered nervous system is now nearly sound
Look at those fingers" Mr.. Edwards said,
"do they look as if there was any rheuma-
tism there?" He moved his fingers rapidly
and freely and strobe about the room like a
young boy. sAyear ago those fingers were
gnarled at the joints and so stiff that could
not hold pen. My knees would swell up,
and could not straighten my leg out. My
Joints would squeak when I moved them.
That is the living truth.
"When I came to think thatI was going to
be crippled with rheumatism, together with
the rest of my ailments, l tell you life
seemed not worth living. suffered from
dependency. I cannot begin to tell yqu,"
said Mr.. Edwards, as he drew a long breath,
''what my feeling is at present. l think it
you lifted ten years right off my life and
left me prime and vigorous at forty-seven,
could feel no better. l was an old man
and could only drag myself painfully about
the house. Now l can walk off without any
trouble. That in itsef,'' continued Mr..
Edwards, s'would be sufficient to give me
cause for rejoicing, but when you come to
consider that I am no longer what you
might call nervous and that my heart is ap
parently nearly healthy, and that l can
sleep nights, you may realize why may APP
pear to speak in extravaganza praise of Pink
Pills These pills quiet my nerves, take
that awful pressure from my head, and at
the same time enrich my blood. There
seemed to be no circulation in my lower
limbs year ago, my legs being cold and
clammy at times. Now the circulation
there's as full and as brisk as at any other
part of my body. / used to be so light
headed and dizzy from my nervous dis
order that frequently fell while crossing
the floor of my house. Spring is coming
and never felt better in my life, and am
looking forward to a busy season of work"
Morris tribune., 1895-07-31
WIT AND WISDOM.

Miss Cross-What would you do il
you were in my shoes? Miss Sharpe
Turn my toes out -Yonkers States
man.
-He-Everything Scribbler writes
seems to go. She yawning)-Well, I
wish he'd write something about you.
IN Y. Ledger.
-Figg -Are you at all interested in
secret orders? Fogg-Only in connec-
ton with the soda fountain at the drug
store.-Boston Transcript.
DE man dat hab de mos advice
ter glib away" said Uncle Eben, ''dosn'
ginerally look laik he had done hissef
much good wild it. Washington Star.
If man had prescience of his pros
perity he would be careless, and If un-
Outstanding of his adversely he would
be despairing and senseless. Angus
tine
Morris tribune., 1895-07-31
News In BrieE.

Martin Olson, an empl oye of the Car.
yer Free Press, was drowned while
bathing in the river at that place.
Russell Liggett fell through hay
chute of the barn at the Agricultural
farm, a distance of 80 feet. The floor
of the stable is of cement, and the fact
that there was a large pile of hay at
the bottom of the chute is all that saved
the boys life. AS it was, his ankle
was broken and his back and head
were injured.
George Holmes, 10 years old, while
laying brick on the Ray building at
Mankato, fell from the third story onto
pile of stone and was so badly injured
that he is likely to die.
At the opening of the summer school
at Fergus Falls s49 students were on
hand Fl
A 1O-year-old SON of J. C. Varney, of
Princeton, met his death by being
jerkedinto deep well by the slipping
of the bucket from the curbing. He
was trying to hold the bucket, but it
carried him down. His skull was
crushed.
The parents of Miss Helen Reid, of
Minneapolis, have made application to
have her placed in the insane asylum
at st. Peter. Miss Reid is not yet II
years of age and he1 trouble is the re-
suit of over study.
Johu Zirkelbach, sergeant of police
at st. Paul, was drowned in White
Bear lake while boat riding. 1t is
thought to have been accidental.
A young man named White, while
out hunting near Lake Cohasset, acci-
dentally shot himself in the side. He
died i'll great agony.
The contract for the high school
building at Candy was let to A. G.
Ochs, of Springfield; amount, $11,9
Work is to gin9immediately.
Fred w. Merritt, aged 10, was acci-
dentally killed by his elder brother
while the latter was moving grass.
Fred was about to take up an armful
of hay when the scythe struck him
just above the temple.
Gov. Clough recommitted Timothy
Rowles to the penitentiary to serve out
an unexpired term for grand larceny.
He was pardoned by Gov. Nelson upon
a promise to refrain from drink. This
he failed to do.
At the meeting of the state game and
fish commission held at st. Paul, Clar-
ence Watkins was appointed superin-
tendent of the state fish hatchery, to
succeed s. S. Watkins, deceased.
Morris tribune., 1895-07-31
A SOCIAL PEST.
Sketch of the Talkative Woman Who Tells |
Her Troubles.

Sketch of the Talkative Woman Who Tells
Her Troubles.
The travelling female who rushes into
condolences and is no sooner seated by
you in the train than she begins to
give you full and detailed account of
herself, her family, husband. children,
servants, physician, minister and mil
liner. She is also much given to col
laring the conductor and asking him a
string of questions in breath. She
is a great trial. Her first attack be-
gins something like this:
please put up this window. No,
never mind; am afraid I will take
cold. Yes, guess you might as well
put it up. Well, declare, did not
think it was so cold; please put it
down. Would you mind changing
seats with me? 1t makes me sick to
ride backward. I am going out to
Ohio to see my sister Mariah. She is
married and has twins and a trifing
named for me and the other-well,
I declare, if u haven't clean forgot
who the other twin is named for. Let
me see, it begins with NJ. 1t is not
Madge or Maud, or Marian, or Maria,
or Margaret. Why, it is Maria, I be-
lieve. Of course it is Maria. That is
the mothers name, and maybe she is
named for her mother. It's horrid
name. and 1 hate it. Oh, Irecollect
now, it is not Maria at all. 1t is Susan.
How stupid Of me not to remember the
dear little things name. Well, as 1
was saying, l am going out to Ohio.
Do you know how far Ohio is from
here? 1t is near the Ohio river, /
think, GAINESVILLE. or some name like
that, is the place where get off, I
shall be so glad to get there. Wonder
what they are all doing at home? !
am crazy to get back, and have been
worrying all day for fear Joe, he is my
husband. will take off his f1annels just
as soon as my back is turned, and"
Here you make bolt and get the con-
ductor to give you another seat
Washington Post.
Morris tribune., 1895-07-31
A Fiend Incarnate.

"Villain, do your worst!'
Bound as he was, no help near, yet
the brave old capitalist never faltered.
Torture me if you WILL" he said,
but not one penny of mine shall you
touch!'
The dark face of Throckmorton
Knatchbull was turned towards him
with sneering smile.
'We shall see, old man." he said.
STOPPING down he struck match
Man! man! Have you no pity!
Here! Give me the check! will sign!"
gasped the victim family.
The villain turned with scowl of
triumph.
II thought this would bring you to
TERMS he said, and with a quick
movement he extinguished the cubeb
cigarette, whose deadly fumes already
filed the room.-N. Y. World
Morris tribune., 1895-07-31
Lightning's Work.

Lightning during the storm at Hills,
played number of peculiar freaks.
It struck a barn belonging to Mike
Rudy, several miles east of there, con-
Stunning the barn and several head of
horses. Nels VERSIONS barn, one mile
east, was struck, but was discovered in
time to save the building. The seat of
buggy driven by E. w. Colby was
sh1vered in pieces beneath the driver.
who miraculously escaped injury. A
shock of grain and several fences and
other things were also struck. That
section was visited by water spout;
water stood three inches on the level.
Morris tribune., 1895-07-31
A FORTUNE IN IT.
Joseph Jefferson Refuses the Offer Of q
Lifetime.

Joseph Jefferson Refuses the Offer Of g
Lifetime.
Joseph Jefferson has been telling q
story about his last rip Van Wrinkle"
trip There was man in the audience
the first night who followed the play
closely and applauded SO vigorously
that he made himself conspicuous.
His enjoyment of the play was inspir-
ing to the actors on the stage. He oc-
cupied the same seat the following
evening. This man didn't miss sim
gle performance for week, and the
attendants in the theater all knew him
by sight.
On Saturday evening he went to the
stage entrance and asked if he might
see Mr.. Jefferson for just moment.
The doprkeeper took his card, reading
.'Mr. j. E. Blank to Mr.. jefferson
and told him that this man had been in
the theater every night during the
week, and very much wanted to say a
word to him. The veteran actor is a
man of kind heart, and he said to the
doorman:
well, let Mr.. Blank come in. I'll
see him for a moment"
Mr.. Blank entered modestly and be-
gan:
$ Mr.. jefferson, this is indeed an
honor for which thank you. I have
great appreciation for artists"
Mr.. jefferson made conventional
reply.
"Yes," continued Mr.. Blank, shave
SD;r Wv W;v,1>1o, ,,,o,o +dox,
any play that have ever seen"
THANK you," said Mr.. jefferson.
II came to see it with purpose"
continued Mr.. Blank, "I've heard so
much of Rips long sleep, and being
wideawake man myself, I thought that
/ could do little business with you
that would be to our mutual advan-
tage"
Nh. jefferson was surprised at this
turn of conversation, and he said:
81 haven't the slightest idea of what
you are limiting at, Mr.. Blank. Will
you please explain.
''Well, you see, Mr.. Jefferson, I'm
the inventor of patent spring bed.
It's dandy, sir, and all that claim
for it, or shouldn't have come to you.
It will not sag in the middle with you
and it is an article that is warranted
never to wear out. Now, here's my
idea. and there's ten dollars a night in
in it for you. I'm willing to spend
money. You will earn it dead easy.
just want you to put in a line in the
play after you wake up saying that
you had slept in one or Blanks patent
spring beds. That's all you've got to
do, and there's ten dollars a night in
it for you, and it is an article that
but Mr.. jefferson had fed. Detroit
Free Press. ~
Morris tribune., 1895-07-31
VICTIMS OF A VILLAIN.
List of Ten Persons Thought to Have BEN
Slain by Holmes.


Slain by Holmes.
CHICAGO, July 27.-Every day brings
to light one or more atrocious murders
committed by H. H. Holmes. In all.
so far as known. circumstantial evil
dence of the strongest character points
to the man as the slayer of the follow
ing:
Conner Julia L. who lived with Holmes as
his wife: supposed remains found in basement
of Holmes building, 7sl Sixty-thi street,
Chicago, @
Conner, Gertrude daughter OF above: sup
posed remains found in basement OF Holmes
building, 79i Sixty-third street, Chicago.
Cigrand, Amelia Holmes secretary; disap-
peared.
Pitzel, BENJAMIN F.; dead body found at
1916 Callowhill street, Philadelphia
Pitzel,. Howard, II years old, son Of Ben
jamin Pitzel disappeared; supposed to
have been murdered in Indianapolis.
Pitzel, Alice, daughter of Benjamin F. Pitzel:
dead body found in the cellar of St Vincent
street house. Toronto
Pitzel, Nellie, daughter of Benjamin F. Pit
eel; dead body found in the cellar of St Vim
cent street house, Toronto.
Williams, Minnie disappeared from 70l Six
ty-third street. Chicago, where she lived with
Holmes; supposed to have been murdered.
disappeared as did her sister.
Wild, Miss, formerly clerk in Holmes en-
ploy at the "Castle' she disappeared two
years ago and has never been heard from
In addition to this Holmes is be-
lieved to have been concerned in the
murder of Mrs. Cron, the old woman
who was SO ruthlessly killed at Will
mette two years ago.
Other persons known to have been
identified with Holmes at Englewood
and other places have disappeared, but
as yet little evidence has been found to
show that Holmes had hand in their
sudden retirement from usual scenes.
The searchlight of police investlga-
ton is gradually but slowly disclosing
the worst features of Holmes career
in Chicago. Chief Badenoch said unre-
servedly Friday that he believed that
the house in Sixty-third street had
been built to make murder feasible
and that many of Holmes victims per-
ished within its walls.
Morris tribune., 1895-07-31
PlTH AND POINT.

The only reason why we don't sec
the face of truth everywhere, is be-
cause we live too low down.-Ram's
Horn.
-Citticus-"I wonder how it III that
so few womt SHUTTER when they talk?'
Witticus-'They haven't time. Tam
many Times.
-Wyld-"Enpec takes his wife and
mother-in-law out sailing quite often. ("
Kellogg-"Yes; he is trying to drown
sorrows ~ Harlem Life.
Summer Resorter-"And is every
thing on your farm nice and fresh?"
Farmer-"Nice and fresh? I guess
you'd think so if you'd see some of our
city boarders. boston Transcript.
"A blind beggar stationed near the
Cheteau d'Eau exhibited a card in
scribed as follows: Kind. charitable
souls, don't be ashamed of giving me a
halfpenny. am blind. Petit Paris
len.
Uncle John-.'Jimmie, if were tc
take one dollar and divide it into four
parts, and give quarter to each OF
your brothers, what would be left?"
Jimmie-'I would. "-Harper's Round
Table.
-Dolly-''I told Mr.. Nicefellow that
I bet Reggie twenty kisses our boat
would win a race at the regatta"
Daisy-"Well, wasn't he shocked?"
DollyA''No, let him hold the stakes. ;"
Boston Globe
-Grant-"Can it be possible that
Hawkins is in love with that fat girl?
Why, she weighs three hundred at
least" Hobbs-''No; 1 don't believe
he's in love: he's just infatuated."-
Boston Courier.
Not the Kind She Wanted
Teacher Children, you should al
ways respect your teacher Now,
Willy Green, tell me why you should
respect me-" Willy-"On account of
your ge."-Puck.
"A Congressman's Concerns. what
has your sentative done since he's
been in congress?' whats he done?"
Eyes" Built two houses, paid off
mortgage, an opened grocery store"
Atlanta Constitution.
-"Do you know" gushed Miss May
flower, 81 think Jack is very much
interested in palnistry. He told me
he paid twenty-five cents one evening
last week just to look at another mans
hand. Boston Bulletin.
AT the Boarding House.-Boarder
Whats that noise out there? Some
body beating a carpet?" Landlady's
Husband-''No, it's Jones trying to
beat his board bill, and my wife is onto
him. Detroit Free Press.
Great Editor-"And did you write
this essay all by yourself?" Literary
Aspirant-'Yes; it is all my own
work." Great Editor-"Well, then,
Charles Lamb, I am very much pleased
to meet you" Syracuse Post.
Willie S.-"Mamma says she al
ways likes to call on YOU" Mrs.
Twickenham (highly gratifed) -"Does
she, Willie?" Willie-''Yes'm When
she goes away she says she feels so
satisfied with herself. brooklyn Life
my daughter is too democratic in
her IDEAS" sighed Mrs. Hawkins. II
wish there was some way to make her
an aristocrat.'' Send her to cook
ing-school, said Mrs. Barlow. ''There
is nothing more naughty in this world
than a good cook. "-Harper's Bazaar.
Morris tribune., 1895-07-31
VIII Close,

~ concerted action all the offices, or
nearly all, in the capitol building will
be closed hereafter at l o'clock on Sat
urday afternoons until Sept l., While
this agreement has been generally
signed by the heads of the different de-
partments, and acquiesced in by the
governor, some of the offices will con-
tinue to remain open until much later
hour. The attorney general says he
will practically be found in his office
at all business hours, for the reason
that peremptory writs and other legal
processes may be sought for at almost
any hour. The auditors office will
also be found open at least the greater
norton of the afternoon
Morris tribune., 1895-07-31
MINNESOTA NEWS.
A Fiend.

Edward Anderson, the inhuman fend
who at Eureka, near Pennington.
killed his 12-year-old niece Josephine
Sherdahl, by cutting her throat with a
razor, is now safely secured in the Da-
kota county Jail at Hastings. The
crime is the most unexplainable that
has yet been recorded among the
bloody deeds that have stained the fair
name of this state. Anderson was
arrested at once and brought to Farm
ington, about 10 miles away, and there
he lay over night in custody of W. H.
BrowneIl, the village marshal, and the
next morning he was taken to the
county Jail. He freely admitted his
crime, and when asked why he did it.,
answered: ST don't know; the devil
must have been in me.
Morris tribune., 1895-07-31
A Chance for Hayward.

Harry Hayward recently received a
postal card, which reads as follows:
DULUTH, July 10.
My dear old boy Harry:
AS see your money maker lie give
you chance to inrich yourself $40, 600
that's $4,000 more than you made out
of Miss Cling lie give you $4,000 for
your sceleton after you're hung to ex-
hibit around museums as the greatest
villain of the 10th century, you know
me l am the Chief of Police of this city
as am soon going to resign want
some occupation to follow | know |
will have great crowds and lie take
care of your Bones and put you in a
nice Aluminium box Harry hear is a
chance to make thousands better ex-
cept your Friend Chief of Police address
Duluth MINI.
Morris tribune., 1895-07-31
Killed.

James Hoban, assistant roadmaster
of the Great Northern road for the
Fergus Falls division, was killed at
Evansville by passenger train. Mr..
Hoban had been at Evansville and
about an hour before the train arrived
he came into the station and told the
operator to call him when the train
arrived. When the train whistled the
operator closed his office and looked in
the waiting room for Mr.. Hoban. He
did not see him, but as he stepped on
to the platform he saw him lying on
the track few feet in front of the
train. He could not save him and
Hoban received injuries from which he
died in an hour. He leaves a wife and
five children.
Morris tribune., 1895-07-31
Badly Mixed.

Citizen Tin drug store)-Please give
me ten cents worth of nux populi.
Druggists Sir?
'Ten cents worth of vox vumica-1
mean vumuli-that is, pux .vopica-I
should say yum populi- er-er-nux
vomica."
Certainly, sir! But, pardon me,
that was rather peculiar mistake OF
yours.
81 am regular contributor to the
Weekly Whooper, oyer the nom de
plume of s'Vox Populi," and l seem
somehow to have gotten my nom and
the name of the tonic mixed. Puck.
Morris tribune., 1895-07-31
Fire i'm an Iowa Town,

OTTuMwA, Ia, July 26.-The bust
ness section of Melrose was swept by
fire early Thursday morning. Ten
buildings, including the Bank of Mel
rose, were entirely wiped out. The
total loss will reach nearly SIS, 900, and
is but partially covered by insurance.
Morris tribune., 1895-07-31
Tobacco Sinking Breath.

Not pleasant to always carry around, but
it don't compare with the Notwithstanding
power that tobacco keeps at work night and
day to make you weak and impotent. Dull
eyes, loss of interest in sweet words and
looks tell the story. Brace up-quit. No
To-Bac is a sure, quick cure. Guaranteed
by Druggists everywhere. Book, titled
"Don't Tobacco Spit or Smoke Your Life
Away" free. Ad. Sterling Remedy Co.,
New York City or Chicago.
Morris tribune., 1895-07-31
league:
TWO LIVES LOST.
Fatal Result of the Burning of Norwich
IN. W Parsonage.

On. W Parsonage.
NORWICH, N. Y, July 25.-A disas.
trous fire which caused the loss of two
lives broke out here Wednesday even
ing, the Congregational parsonage,
occupied by Rev. William L. Scudder
and family, consisting of wife and
seven children, being totally destroyed.
The children, who. occupied a back
room, were just retiring when coal gas
in a chimney exploded. and instantly
the house was ablaze. All the chill
dren escaped with the exception of
Clariz and Mary, both bodies being
burned to crisp.
Morris tribune., 1895-07-31
Didn't See Worlds Fair?

II you failed to visit the great Worlds
Fair in Chicago in 1898 you ought to visit
the next greatest fair of modern times-the
Cotton States and International Exposition
in Atlanta, Ga, from Sept. 18th to Dec.
3lst, 1895.
If you will please send your name and adj
dress to T. W. Teasdale, general passenger
agent c., st. p, M. & o. R'y, 1.-THE North
Western Line, J" an illustrated pamphlet de-
mailed you FREE, and the chances are you
will feel so interested that you will want to
see the great show, and of course when you
plan your trip you will look to your COM
fort and secure your tickets from Mime
apolis, st. Paul or Duluth to Atlanta, either
via Chicago or Kansas City, via the best
line-'.The North w estern Line"
Morris tribune., 1895-07-31
Fast Composition.

DENVER Col, July 81. What is
claimed to be the best eight hours
work ever done on a typesetting ma
chine has been accomplished by Eu-
gene Taylor, a Mergenthaler compost
tor on a paper here. In eight hours
Taylor set IS. 500 ems.
Morris tribune., 1895-07-31

The Ashley river, in South Caro-
lima, was named in honor of Sir An
thony Ashley Cooper, afterward the
famous earl of Shaftesbury. The In
dams called the atream HAWAII, q
word Of doubtful significance
Morris tribune., 1895-07-31
The Most Pleasant WAY

Of preventing the grippe, colds, headaches,
edy Syrup of Figs, whenever the system
needs gentle, yet effective cleansing. To
be benefited one must get the true remedy
manufactured by the California Fig Syrup
Co: only. For sale by all druggists in SOC.
and 81 bottles.
Morris tribune., 1895-07-31
BASEBALL.

Standing of the Various League Clubs for
the Week Ending July 20.
The following tables show the num-
Der of games won and lost and the per-
centage of the clubs of the leading base
ball organizations. National league:
Morris tribune., 1895-07-31
Inhunan,

Inhuman.
Col Windbagger (the prominent poll
tician) That fellow, Grimshaw, is too
Internally mean to live!
Friend-What has he done?
Col Windbagger-D Done? Why, con-
found him, I published card.in the
Bazoo yesterday, announcing that
was not candidate for congress, and
in to-day's issue he comes out with q
card asking who said / wasi-Pnck.
Morris tribune., 1895-07-31
Not Up to Date.

Mandy said Farmer Corntossel,
''the world moves an we orter move
with it. But I'm afeared that out in
this part o. the country we're purity
nigh certain ter git left
.Whut's the matter, Josiar?"
''.We're livin' on the slowest railroad
on earth.''
'sThet's fact
'"The clocks never less'n four hours
Slow
Never"
well, I've discovered tibet it's wuss'n
that. looked at the thermometer, an
that's three months behindhand at the
lowest calc'lation. Washington Star.
Morris tribune., 1895-07-31
A. tho Soda Fountain.

"What will you have, dear?"
81 don't know what want"
81 don't either"
What's yours?"
sob, don't mind me-"
"Yes / will, too"
mo, dear, suit yourself"
Eyes, know, but which do you pre-
fer?"
"oh, don't know; give me choco-
late?''
Dear me. / don't see how you can
drink chocolate; give me vanilla,
please. Buffalo Times.