The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1895-06-29

y L
the table, if you're going to, fore
stiffen out here like blamed old mum
my and have to go into private col
lection under exhibit AT
Mrs. Wigglesworth got back as soon
as possible, but not before her hus-
bands arms had pulled out and he had
dashed the paper on the floor and was
stamping on it. Nothing relieves
man like stamping, so when they had
arranged the table-a mahogany table
with shiny top-beside the wall, and
put a little hassock on top OF it, Mr..
Wigglesworth felt sufficiently Modified
to snip off another length Of the
Beardsley pattern and apply some more
paste to it's posterior surface, maintain
ing a steady current of growing at his
wife, on general principles
"Now don't be fool, this time," he
said, encouragingly, as they picked up
the paper and he laboriously climbed
to the polished surface OF the table
with it, Then he stepped cautiously
upon the hassock and stood there an In
slant, his knees webbing painfully.
"Can you reach?" his wife called
from below. She was busy keeping her
part of the paste away from the ma
hogany table.
"Reach?" echoed Mr.. Wigglesworth,
In a concentrated voice. what We
s'pose I'm up here for, anyway? Think
I'm addressing the county convention?
Want me to move an amendment In
favor of woman's suffrage, don't yer
! Then the hassock turned slightly, as
the worm is said to do, and In catching
his balance and breath Mr.. WigRies-
worth jerked the paper out Of his wife's
grasp The paper turneda smart corner
and tapped up against the wall and
chung in q clammy and tenacious en-
brace.
"What We do that for?" shouted Mr..
Wigglesworth, as loud as the uncer-
tain hassock would permit.
IL didn't go to-" returned his
frightened wife, and with what alacrity
she was mistress of she unpecled the
cold and dcathlike sheet.
Now you let it alone, dye hear?"
warned her husband, and acting upon
his direction Mrs. Wigglesworth re-
tired to the far side of the room, where
she watched him in species of fascin-
alton. This is the tragedy that speedi-
ly unfolded itself before her:
Mrs. Wigglesworth, feeling more and
more the treacherous character OF the
hassock, held his knees at that angle
which gives to even the strongest man
an appearance of weakness. his arms
were thrust out to their full capacity,
and, though at q distance, Mrs Wig
ellsworth could feel their dreadful
, ache. First, her husband pressed his
end of the strip close up to the Dor
der; the lower end caught on also 81
the same instant, but in quite another
part of the room, and by the time Mr.
WigQlesworth had reached painfully
downward and fetched it loose, at the
same moment muttering something
that Mrs Wigglesworth tried hard te
; hear, but couldn't, distinctly, the up
per end came away and tapped down
? over Mr.. Wigglesworth's forehead
leaving more paste there than his wifi
had thought could be left on one fore
) head in a single afternoon. Mr.. Wig
glesworth's comments upon this trans
' action, as he frenziedly snatched a
> the paper, were not only clearly audi
BILE to the wife, but.even penetrated t
q the hired girl, who promptly opene
r the kitchen door to see If she nigh
!. not be able to hear still palmer. The
Q Mr.. Wigglesworth, with an earnes'
ness that nobody could avoid noticing
k spanked the moist side OF that pape
" against the wall and slapped it wit
both hands till the creations of Aubre
}, Beardsley's fancy ran all into eac
+ other.
n Now fix the lower end$ chirpe
)" Mrs. Wigglesworth from the disuanc
s. This was one of those things tn,
10 were better left unsaid. Mr.. Wggle
is worth had stood on that uncertain ha
g sock till his knees appeared perma
emily fixed at half-cock, his arms we
d stretched clean out of their leghima
Y precincts, his head was bursting wi
the hot air of the upper strata, and pc
r. spixation glued his garments so close
,t him that he appeared to have BET
RS born That way. When this gratuito
I'd direction burst cooingly from his wifi
ar lips, no fetched mad snatch ut &
a lower end of the paper. and on the
ip slant the hassock, w it'll a low, fendi
chuckle, turned over on the other sic
lie Mr.. Wigglesworth had only time
le one yell, but it was full grown, In art
In and then vaulted into the air,
ri paper letting go its hold and tral
e ferring its affections to the falling +
rs tunes,of the house Of Wiggleswor'
it. and as that gentleman went saili
al through the atmosphere. the
Dis per wouEd itself in sinuous TO
nd about him, till stranger looking in
sir the widow would have said that \
70 Wigglesworth was an admirable livi
gh picture reproduced from the Yell
all Book.
THAT'S rightr' he yened, soon as
he could get to his feet andaxick tho b
he sock through the door, stand O
1T" there with your thumb in your MOI