Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-08-16
PREACHER STORIES.
HUMOROUS INCIDENTS IN THE LIFE
or MINISTER'S.


used TO relate az experience ho once had,
which CouVulscd his congregation with
laughter ana nearly broke up his services
for the day. He was tho rector of a church
IN Connecticut.
one day as the timo for the annual wish
tation Of the bishop was approaching, and
he was preparing u class for confirmation,
he was sent for 10 visit a woman who de-
sired % talk with him on the subject Of
baptism.
The woman, who was very stout,
weighing somewhere in the neighborhood
Of 800 pounds, informed him that she had
long been attracted toward the Episcopal
church, but had rcfraincd from uniting
with it because she had strong convictions
In regard 20 baptism and felt that she
ought to be immersed.
Tho minister told her that, although
the church believed pouring or Sprinkling
20 be valid baptism, it did not prohibit
Immersion though, as it was Il somewhat
Inconvenience method, it was not often
used
lie pointed out the difficulties in the
way, saying that he had 10 fount in the
church large enough for such a purpose,
and that there was 40 river or beach in
the vicinity. In reply she suggested that
he obtain permission 10 use tho Baptist
church, which had "a large baptistry under
the pulpit platform. This he consented to
do, though with much misCiying. Tho
consent Of tho Baptist brethren was read
lily obtained.
Tho next Sunday Episcopal services
were held IN the Baptist church. At the
proper timo in the service the candidate
for baptism went forward, and, with the
minister, went down into the baptistry.
All went well until 1t came time for the
immersion Then the minister for the first
time realized his ineXucricnco in admins
tcring that form Of baptism. When he at
tempted 20 immCrso tho woman, his foot
slippOa, and they both went under the
water together
He hastily scrambled 10 his feet, but, TO
his consideration and horror, found, when
he attempted 90 raise the woman, that sho
could not De moved. There she lay like so
many pounds Of lead noundcrng in the
water and screaming for dear life. In vain
ho tuQgol and pulled She could not be
even started.
FINALLY several men in tho congregation
went 10 the assistance of the minister, and
by their united efforts succeeded in bring
tng tho frightened women TO her feet. The
men wcro wet % the skin, having been
obliged 10 go in'1 the baptstry. The
congregation struggled with It's pentup
laughter bat finally it burst forth in
roar which could not be suppressed. The
services were continued with great diff
Guilty, and tho minister dsow long breath
Of relief WHOM they Wcro ended
Boys in church, as is well known, are
not infrcqucutiy the cause Of great annoy
..I..
Methodist minister was delivering a SER
mon with good deal of carncstncss when
his attention was attracted TO u boy In the
gallery The youug,tcr was leaning over
the rail and apparently lowering some
thing attached TO cord, which ho occa-
sionally pulled up, whom he would throw
it over again with moro gusto than ever
DO what he would the preacher could not
keep bis eyes off that boy
Shifting his position in the pulpit
slightly, no had q better opportunity 70
see what was going on and observed that
an old gentleman in a pew under the gal.
lery had fallen asleep and was sitting
with his head back and his mouth wide
open. Seeing this, the boy had attached
a cork 70 "a string and was oudoavoring to
lower il into tho old mans mouth lie
as the cork gently swayed to and fro it &C.
casionally ticklod the slccpcr's nose. At
such times he would stir a little uncasily
and brush il away with his hand, to the
evident delight of the grinning youngstcr
The whole scene was so exceedingly com
ical that the minister came near laughing
outright. At lcngth he was obliged to
bcchOn 10 the sexton and request him to
put an end 10 the boys fishing for the
day or else send him somewhere else to
do It,
An uncomfortable experience which be.
fell PEARSON Bartlett, Unitarian minis.
ter Some years ago, used 10 De related by
his clerical brethren with "a good deal Of
qleo. The rar-1u had been invited 90 ex-
change puiu.ts with a Clergyman in Sa-
lem, and 10 being a delightful Sunday in
tho spring tLo pars0n walked across the
fields from his home in Marblehoad, start
Ing carly enough in the morning 10 be on
time when the hour for service arrived.
Tho congregation assembled at the usual
time, but no minister appeared. Minutes
passed into bali hour, and from that into
an hour, and il began 20 be apparent that
there would toe no services that morning
Just as the congregation was about to dis
pCTso the parson arrived. He was covered
with mud from head 10 feet. His coat was
torn, his hat battered and a telltale streak
on his shirt front exposed his darling vice
of chewing tobacco
An explanation was in order and was
given. While the parson was sauntcring
leisurcly along, enjoying the bracing
morning air and the picturesque views,
thinking now and then of tho points In
his Sermon he heard following behind
him, and, looking around, saw bclliger.
ent bull, with his nostrils dlatcd and his
tail in the air, rushing directly for him.
The parson ran for wall near by and
jumped into the next field. But the bull
was not 10 be cludod in that way He was
over as soon as his clerical victim. The
parson jumped over the wall again into
tho field he had left, but the bull was there
before he was. In this way thcy kept up
the jumping and running, first over one
wall, then over another, until by scaling
fence the parson reached the open road.
The bull was thus brought TO a standst!ll
and ran off suorting defiance. Parson
Bartlett, exhausted with his unwontcd
excrtion, bruised and sore in every limb,
made his way as best he could to Salem.
Boston Globe