News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1895-08-01
THE BICYCLES STORY.
l am a bicycle.

-
a plain, ordinary-no, not as "Ordi-
nary" but a safety-bicycle for hire.
True, | am in a good state of re-
pair and am as comfortable as my
keepers can make me, but ! am not
decked in ribbons and uurtured in
commodious quarters and ridden
only by the aristocracy over smooth
pavements and for short distances.
[ never even had such luck when |
first came from the factory. |
thought | was going to fall into that
good fortune, but man took me on
trial-that is to say, he took me on
the instalment plan and tried to pay
for me, but couldn't, and was forced
to return me at the end of a month,
and then was only good enough to
go among the hirelings, and there |
have stayed ever since. Goodness
me, how long it seems since | got the
first wrench to my steel ribs and had
my frame skinned against tree
boxl
| was born a combination wheel
that is, you can take out my spinal
column, land then | can be ridden by
a lady, not in boomers, and thank
my stars no bloomers have ever yet
enveloped me in their folds.
That time the man had me on trial,
/ thing it was my most uncomforta-
BILE experience, for he was green at the
business and so was |, and the result
was that both of us got bumps innum-
merable, and though he came out of
it with a twisted knee and sprained
ankle and a barked nose and a lame
arm and hurt back and black eye
with a few other incidental casualties,
| was nothing to brag of myself
That's why when he had to give me
up they put me on the hireling list
But | was experienced and that was
something.
A bicycle has good deal to learn
when it first leaves the factory.
People who came to hire wheels
looked little shy at me as stood
quietly in my rack and then passed
me by, but not for long. My keeper
put new coat of enamel on me and
otherwise put me in shape, and there
after became quite popular. Riders
who had me out for a spin when they
returned would say they didn't know
why it was, but seemed to be more
intelligent than other wheels they
had tried, and | was not half as liable
to make a sudden swerve and bang
into a wagon in the street or into a
gate-post or over q bank, or to do
any one of the forty dozen other
things bicycle is likely to do when
the rider is least expecting it.
Of course l knew this myself and
was constantly striving to please,
just as any other public servant is,
for hadn't | had enough of bang and
batter with that instalment plan
party? I guess yes, and l am sure a
properly regulated bicycle knows
when it has had enough.
Sometimes, though, [ couldn't help
being little risky. Once | remem-
Der an athletic sort of a fellow took
me out and for six mortal hours he
pedaled me all over every road in the
suburbs, rough and smooth, and al
most drove every bit of breath out
of my tires. l submitted because
couldn't we'll do otherwise, but the
time of my revenge was at hand. He
was pumping me alonga bit of pleas
ant country road where the shade
would have been very grateful to me
if he had only run along slowly, when
he caught up with pretty girl on
an awful ornamental wheel.
[ could hear him laugh with a
chuckle at his luck, and he sailed
alongside of her and began talking.
OF course, he had no business to, but
bicylists that way are not so ex-
tremely formal, and she talked back
to him, and it wasn't long until he
was entirely absorbed in the girl, and
was leaving all the rest of the matter
to me. Then l pricked up my ears
and got ready, and all at once, when
we came to a good place, / took a
header into the ditch, the girl
screamed, the man swore, and / lay
over on my side helpless, but happy.
He and | rode home in a passing pie
wagon, the girl disappeared, and it
cost him 81 for repairs.
All kinds of people hired me, and
with most of them l could do very
well. Never, though, with fat wo.
man. There was one of these that
thought she could reduce her flesh by
riding, and she lit right down on me
the first time she came into my place
How regretted that had not been
born mans machine, when she set
tied herself firmly on my saddle, and
began padding like a duck in the
water. After that every day she came
after me, and / began to feel my bur
den was more than | could bear.
But there was another woman-ah
me, what delight it was to go flying
with her. She was dainty little
creature, light as fairy and strong
as wire, and she knew where all the
prettiest places were, and there We
went together, and she drew pictures
of sylvan scenes while | leaned UP
against a tree and watched her by
the hour. One day q handsome
young fellow wheeled by, and they