Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-05-02
Let Us All Laugh.

Strawberries her father willing to
help you out? Singerly-That's the
way he acted.-Brooklyn Life.
"TCm, who did you say our friend
Lawley married:' 'WeIl, he married
100000 l forget her other name"-
Tit-Bits.
"Do you think the new hoarder Is
permanently Eyes. indeed, He threat
ems continually to e"-Chicago In
ter Ocean.
Applicant-Please, mum. the lady wot
washes the steps for that woman which
lives opposite says as you wants girl.
Pail Mall Budget.
ooh, doctor, how do you do? You
look killing this evening" THANK
you; but I'm not: I'm off duty, you
know Brooklyn Life
Tommy Asker-Now, If you was to
TO draw? Andy Quicl-A check on the
nank.-Philadelphia Inquirer
Squildig-He's a great criminal law
yer, isn't he? McSwilligen-Well, l be-
lieve he always stops short OF actual
criminality.- Pittsburg Chronicle Tele-
graph.
First Boarder-What's the star board
er making all that hubbub about over
that berry pie? Second Boarder-I
guess he found the berry.-Syracuse
Post.
Johnny fools his parents
It's very sad to state
They think he's making garden
When he's only digging bait.
Washington Star.
Mrs Jackson-Do you cali this sponge
cake? Why, it is as hard as stone.
Cook-Yes, mum, that's the way q
sponge is before it is wet. Soak it in
your tea.-Truth.
Figgs-My! but isn't that a picture?
Fogg-Quite stylish. But what is it?
Looks rather large for a parlor lamp,
and rather too small for woman
Boston Transcript.
She-So the counts relatives consid-
er it mesalliance? He-Decidedly. The
girl has only quarter OF million,
and the count owes three times as
much as that.-Judge.
Professor Ito his wife, Elise, have
promised to deliver an address to-mor-
row evening on the rational exercise of
the memory. Don't let me forget about
it.-Fliegende Blaetter.
ooh, my dear Mrs. -, how glad I
am to see you. 1t is four years since
we met and you recognized me imme-
diately" ooh, yes. I recognized the
hat ''-Fliegende Blaetter.
She-I know I'm cross at times, John,
but if 1 had my life to live over again
l should marry you just the same. He
I have my doubts about that, my
Philadelphia Times.
The lady arrives q little late at the
sewing circle. Servant-ExcuSe me.
madam but I'd advise YOU to wait a
few minutes. Just now they are talk
ing about you!-Humoristiche Blaet-
ter.
Gussy-Why do you SO persistently
wear the hair of another woman ON
your head? Beatrice-For the same
reason that you wear the skin Of an
other calf on your feet-The Great Dr.
vide
Artist-Tm half distracted trying to
think up subject for my picture, 1.-THE
Queen of May Practical Friend
Why not paint a picture of servant
girl taking up carpets-Chicago Rec
ord.
Goutran burst like Il whiriwind in
upon his friend CASTOR. "Wiil you be
my witness?" "Going to fight2' mo,
to get married" CASTOR latter PAUSE
Can't you apologize?-Los Angeles
Herald.
She-I can't help thinking have seen
your portrait in the newspapers some
where. He-Oh, no doubt; it's often
been published She-Then / am not
mistaken. What were you cured off,
Judge.
Mrs. Kicksey-I see by the head line
in this paper that Spain has her hands
full. Kicksey-Yes, and if she fools
with this country she'll have her whole
anatomy full-of holes.-Philadelphi
Inquirer.
Here comes the carriage, Maudi.
Fancy having to go and pay calls in
such weather! It's enough to give one.
ones death of coldv' Worse than
that, mother! Everybody's sure to be.
inr'-Boston Budget.
Mother-"Don't you feel able to sit
UP to-day?'' Boy-"No, mamma, am,
ZOO x,,oal- ,Namma-ssWoil lot mo
see. I guess you will be able to go to.
school Monday. Tomorrow is Satur-
day, and" Boy dumping out Of
Saturday! I thought it was FIR
day."-Harper's Bazar