davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Marshall County independent., 1895-09-13
Amusing Advertisement

Matrimonial advertisements. accord
ing to Il contemporary correspondent az
Vienna. are marked by an acceptable
humorous audacity. Here for instance.
is one that ran for six or seven days:
''Wanted-a rich lady-no matter how
old-whO will finance student of med
icine until such time as he obtains his
degree, when he engages to marry his
benefactreSs."
Another is quoted wherein a young
prince seeks a handsome girl with a
dowry of not less than one million dol
lars. When the desired mate is obtain
cd. all ones needs are apparently salts
fled, judging from this advertisement
for purchaser for "welltrained
monkey, talkative parrot, and beau
tiful. sympathetic cat" which belong
to a lady who, owing to her approaching
marriage, has no further use for them.
The most amusing uf the advertise
ments quoted by our contemporary is,
however. that of the ~ Irish peru
quier who makes wigs for "men of in
tellect, philosophers, scholars and ply
sic.anS, whose severe mental labor In
the cause of humanity has filled their
brains with genial ideas. while depriy-
ing their heads of their natural capil-
larry envelopes" These 'artistically
finished wigs" the advertiser cont.n-
ues, while extremely useful are high,
ly ornamental and are guaranteed alb
solutely invisible to the spectator. They
can be seen any day in my private show
rooms"
Marshall County independent., 1895-09-13
The "ROSin" Billie.

In 1909 there was published at the
sign of the 'HOly Lamb in Douai. a
town in the northeast of France, not far
from the Belgian frontier, an edition Of
the Bible which, in consequence Of the
quaint translation of n WE'LL known pas
"Rosin" Bible. The first portion of the
twenty second verse of the eighth chap
ter Of the book of the Prophet Jere-
miah ran thus in the first edition: "Is
there noe TOsin in Galaad: or is there
no phisitiSn there" 1t seems hardly
necessary to say that we now read
balm" iC,itead of ''rOSin."
Marshall County independent., 1895-09-13
Lament of the EnniSrant.

Lament of the EmiSrant.
I'm sitting on the stile, Mary,
Where we sat long ago,
I've walked a many mile, Mary,
To find Sapoio.
| mind me how you told. Mary,
When we were side by side,
Its match could not be bought for gold
In all the world SO wide
Our home was bright and fair, Mary,
You kept it so for aye,
And yet had time to spare, Mary;
Would you were there to-day.
You made the work but play, Mary;
All women might do so,
And all should know the charm you say
Lies in Sapolio.
But now l sit and weep, Mary,
Nor fear to break your rest,
For laid you. darling. down to sleep,
With your baby on your breast
The graves are not i few, Mary.
Hard work brings many low;
1t was not so with you. Mary.
You used Sapolio.
Marshall County independent., 1895-09-13

And with look that made Ben Kelly hot
Answered: The name of that which
leaves no spot
"And what is that?" said Abou. "Not so
fast"
Replied the scribbler Kelly opened vast
Her mouth angelic; then in whisper said,
What IS this marvel. quick? | must to
bed"
The scribbler wrote and vanished. The
next night
lie came again with much awakening
light,
And showed the names that nations long
have blessed.
And 10. Sapolio's name led all the rest
Marshall County independent., 1895-09-13
RcI,uS,

When fingers spring in winters lap,
And thoughts of love are rife,
To get my first, the trees they tap;
The sweetest thing in life"
When winter evening fresides cheer
And music fills the soul. heigho;
When mixed selections charm the ear,
My second is in the folio.
Like Sunshine in shady place."
My whole each object heightening,
Makes labor light. and work delight;
1t cleans ''as quick as lightning"
Marshall County independent., 1895-09-13
DON'T PAY ANY DUTY.
The Old Lady Took Unnecessary
Trouble in Smuggling Her Muffs.

The Old Lady Took Unnecessary
Trouble in Smuggling Her Muffs.
Il see by an advertisement Of
yours she said. putting down a big
| bundle on the counter of Il Sixth ave
nue. fur store and fumbling her hand
kerchief, that you store valuable furs
| through the summer and guarantee to
keep out the moths. Is that so:"
1T is, madam" said the clerk. po-
litely
We'll. | own two mighty fine muffs,
and kinder like To store 'em. Wouldn't
think of bringin' 'em to you only last
year ! put up my best plush coat in
camfer-a dollars worth Of it-and
| along came them buffaler moths and
! chawed up the whole back breadth.
They just seemed To banker after cam
fer, and now | feel bit skittish about
the muffs''
We'll take good care of them, mad
am
"'Taint too early to put EN- away
'Oh. no."
Il see they're having sleighing out
West"
1T won't last"
Reckon L won't need them muffs,
hey"
II do"
Gould l get 'em if it came off cold?"
You could"
We'll. l guess I'll leave EN-" con-
cluded the camphor skeptic, untying
the strings on the bundle. There are
valuable furs. young man." she added.
You don't get no such lynx skins
down here. | bought them muffs in
Canada last fail, and l didn't pay no
duty gettin' 'em in either"
"How's that:" asked the clerk
Il wore 'em in
81 don't understand" said the clerk.
Don't hey? Well, | put Il foot
through each muff See?"
Weren't they-weren't they rather
warm = ventured the clerk
Warm? Well, you can bet l per.
spired and blushcd all the way over
the border; though, of course" she add
ed, mOdestly. them muffs was only
just above my shoes"
"Of course" echoed the clerk, hasti-
ly. May see the muffs. maam:"
She opened the bundle and an ex-
preston of surprise crossed his face as
he examined the contents.
You said you didn't pay duty, be-
lieve:' he asked.
"Icu better believe didn't"
Il think cats are on the free list,
ma am
Hey
Il say cats are free"
suppose they are:"
Merely that your muffs are catskin,
treated and dyed, that's all Shall I
give YOU receipt:'
What asked the woman again,
unable TO believe her ears.
"Catskins, madam
The owner of the muffs quietly gath
cred up her property and arose
They're no more catskins than you
are" she said, with an expression of
utter contempt. ITS just envy. You
couldn't bring in muff the way | did
TO save your neck, because there amt
enough shape on your whole body all
the way from your head to your feet to
hold muff"
BY this time she had reached the
door, but she screamed back:
Cats. hey? You pore. skinny little
man with 4 fishpole shape. mebbc they
are cats, but | reckon wore evenr'
And by the looks of the pale-faced
and popping-eyed clerk they were
Marshall County independent., 1895-09-13

The first electric sawmill on the Pa
ciiic coast is now building at Tacoma.
1t rs an experiment, which, if success
ful. will mean much for the greater de-
veIopmcnt of the lumber region about
Puget Sound.
Marshall County independent., 1895-09-13

He who learns and makes no. use OF
his learning is beast Of burden with a
load Of books. COmprehendeth the ass
whether he carries on his back q H.
brary or q bundle Of fagOts?
Marshall County independent., 1895-09-13
THREE.

One, Two, Three.
Now where can the baby be?
Only the briefest while ago
We went into ecstaSies over his CROW.
Then he was creeping about the floor,
And into our hearts he went all four.
II then we had lost him, what had we
done
In the wonderful year of One!
One! Two. Three.
What q kidnaper Time can be!
He's stolen my little child away
That spoke my name but yesterday.
'Take all that have of silver and gold
And give me again little Two-year- y
Such reward had offered to you, and to
you,
In the beautiful year of Two!
Onei Two Three,
'Tis Gods sweet mystery,
Times not thief. but bringer of JOY,
And has doubled my blessings in this dear
boy.
Oh. give me to love him, and do not re-
fuse.
Kind Fortune. what's needed for stock
ings and shoes,
To love him in WISDOM that he may love
me
Long years that may follow year Three!
William 5. Lord
Marshall County independent., 1895-09-13
4 Ballad of Nav.

You must wake and call me early;
Call me early, Bridget. Go,
For tomorrow such busy day
| fear We'll ne'er get through
With the scrubbing and the cleaning,
And the securing up. you know,
If il wasn't fer our tried old friend,
Morgan's SAPOLIO.
Marshall County independent., 1895-09-13

WigwaS-I never knew what a mar.
row escape from death once had till l
read the papers few days ago. Hob
son-What was il? II see that / was In
Chicago two years ago while Holmes
Marshall County independent., 1895-09-13
AhOu Zen Kelly.

Abou Ben Kelly (may her tribe increase)
Was much disturbed one night and ha NO
peace;
For there upon the wall within her room,
Bright with the moonlight that dispelled
the gloom,
A man was scribbling with q wand of
gold
Now, Mrs. Kelly was a warrior bold,
And to the presence in the room she said,
"What writest thou?' The scribbler
raised his head,
Marshall County independent., 1895-09-13

She owned that her foot was number
six,
And the grateful clerk did not divine
That she was up to the same old tricks.
Till he saw that she really wore num-
Der nine.
Chicago Record. Il.
Marshall County independent., 1895-09-13

4 Boston paper has column of clip
ped items under the heading Of Looted
Wit DILUTED Wit" would be proper.
Marshall County independent., 1895-09-13

A judicious reticence Is hard to learn,
but 1t Is one Of the greatest lessons of
life.
Marshall County independent., 1895-09-13

How tired we are of picnics at the
close of the season.
Marshall County independent., 1895-09-13

Needles and pins. needles and pins,
When man marries his trouble begins"
But all of us-know that it would not be 90
If he would provide her with S-A-P-O.
LILO.
Marshall County independent., 1895-09-13
Onei Two Three,
CURING BROWN
OF SKEPTICISM.

s s$%S Il %:; 4; 4; E.; 9:;s;s ss .s, ii al q; e
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1895-03-14

jects, to seize or secure arms, to de-
tain suspected persona and even
to meet armed force with armed
force in the open field.
IF he hesitates the opportunity
NAV be lost OF checking the first
outbreak of instruction, whilst
by vigorous action the conse-
quences of allowing the insurgents
to take the field in force may be
averted."
The attempt to belittle the posi-
bilities of the rebellion, which has
cropped out SO frequently, can be
answered in no better words than
those of the Judge: "The very
efficiency of his measures may
diminish the estimate of the danger
with which he had TO cope, and the
danger once past, every measure he
has adopted may be challenged as
violent and oppressive, and he and
every one who advised him or acted
by his authority may be called
upon, in action at the suit Of indi-
viduals dissatisfied with his con-
duct, to establish the necessity or
of every act in detail by
evidence which it may be against
public policy to disclose.
"The bare litigation to which he
may be exposed may be harrassing
and ruinous. Under these and like
it seems plainly
within the competence of the Legis-
lature, which could have author
lied by antecedent legislation the
acts done as necessary or proper
for preserving the public peace,
upon a due consideration of the
circumstances, to adopt and ratify
ike acts when done, or, in the Ian
yuage of the law and consideration,
10 enact that they shall be, made
and declared lawful and con-
irmed'"
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1895-03-14

To WHAT extent the issue ct
stake should be kept alive in the
minds of the people, as brought
out in the discussion Of the pre-
amble of the indemnity law, is a
feature ofthe recent rebellion which
cannot we'll be overlooked. There
is a fine medium between rubbing
it in" and sweeping the whole
affair into the forgotten past,
which must of a necessity be main
tanned. It is always a good plan
to search for the silver lining Of the
cloud, but it will never do for the
brilliancy of the reflection to blind
one to each and every aspect which
the cloud may present. 1t would
be most despicable to constantly
flaunt the red flag of the past in
the faces of those defeated, but
there are hard, cold, undeniable
facts which, in justice to those who
are to come after, this country
cannot afford to pass, trusting to
luck that the situation will always
be understood as it is today. 1t is
much better to look matters
squarely in the face, rather than
depend on gilt edged hopes that
stand an even chance of having
little more than a theoretical
foundation. This is no time to
back and fill, though there is no
necessity, nor is it desirable, to go
to extremes.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1895-03-14
AAROONED,
OR THE
IIACKMAN,H ISEXENGE
OR THE

The waiter had gone. Whom do YOU love
more than your life?" asked Cascar, bending
over the girl who sat with him at the little table
NinOl.a poised the spoon before her lips and
locking up - Hmm out of her big, soulful eyes
replied: ice cream" Cascar expected differ
ent answer for ne drove hack aud well
brook no rival. He bethOught him of lonely
islet which high tide submerged a fathom or
more and next day he hired boat. purchased
4 m ghty rub OF ice cream ard invited Yinolia to
picnic. She smiled and they rowed TO sea On
the rock be placed Nino'ia and beside her the
bounty of her hearts desire. $50 good of YOU
dear Casclr!' said the girl. But he turned ayav
ms eN es and pulled for the distant hore. Then
the sun sank low, d, as the topmost wave of
the tide Tapped the summit Of the rock, nothing
was visible above the shimmering sea- but the
young lady eating the ice cream.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1895-03-14
PRECEDENT FOR INDEMNITY LAW.

The act of indemnity and OBJ
livion introduced in the Advisory
Councils yesterday, is a natural
and necessary measure growing out
of the extraordinary conditions
thrust upon the community by a
rebellious body of men. Precedents
for such action may be found in
English and American history,
where the Executive and their sup
porters have been called upon to
rule with high hand, performing
acts which under civil law would
not be countenanced.
An instance particularly pertin-
ent to the present situation in this
country, is found in a case brought
before the Queens bench as a re-
suit of the Jamaica rebellion of
1865. Martial law had been de-
clared in those portions of the
country where the rebel spirit CEN
tered. In the course If the sup
preston of the uprising the Gov
srnor Of the island subjected a Brit
ish subject to imprisonment, fog
ging and deportation from the col
ony. After martial law had been
revoked, this man brought suit
against the Governor of Jamaica,
who sought protection under an
indemnity act the legality of which
was upheld by the court. In reAd-
ering the decision of the court the
judge called attention to the fact
that for the Governor to act, during
q time of peril, within the precise
limits Of the law of ordinary peace
would be a difficult and impossible
task and to hesitate or temporize
might entail disastrous conse-
quences. "It is manifest, how
ever, that there may be occasions
in which the necessity Of the case
demands prompt and speedy action
for the maintenance of law and
order at whatever risk and where
the Governor may be compelled
unless he shirk from the discharge
of paramount duty, to exercise
de facto powers which the legisla-
ture would assuredly have con-
6ded to him if the emergency
could have been foreseen, trusting
that whatever he has honestly done
for the safety of the state, will
be ratified by an act of in
demnity and oblivion. There
may. not be time to appeal to
the Legislature for special powers.
The Governor may have, on his own
responsibility, to arm loyal sub
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1895-03-14
ONoNKA EUoAR CoMPANy.


PAPAIKoU, HAWAII, February %, 1851
Mr. JOHN A. COLT, Wainaku Hawaii.
DEAR ~IR The Onomea Augar Com
pany has now in use three of the Stubble
Diggers.
l think these machines are indispen-
sable for the proper cultivation of
rattoons.
We have never had an implement that
would 80 thoroughly loosen the earth
around the stools, and put the soil in
such condition that the air. moisture and
fertilizer would so readily find access to
the fine roots of the cane and the soil
around them
L am glad TO testify to the merits Of
these tools The.~ugar Land Disc Gull
tivators arrived too late for mu h use in
the cultivation of the Last young plant
AMI rattOons, but l believe they will
prove to be very useful and labor saving
implements in districts where cane is
raised without irrigation.
Yours Truly,
WIN W. @ -oDALE,
Manager Onomea Sugar Company.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1895-03-14
ChrOnOMotor
Repairing and


Requiring skillul handling, is work
which we are especially fitted to do.
The attention OF Sea Captains aud all
owners of fine Chronometers which they
value, is called to our excellent faciIi-
ties for putting their instruments in
p RECT SHAPE.
The long experience OF our Head
Matchmaker with the best concerns on
the Coast in just this kind Of work, ena-
bles us to guarantee absolute
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1895-03-14
TimQiy Copies
MarcIs Q, 1899.

When a man puts his wits
together and invents maChin-
cry that saves money to the
farmer, the manufacturer or
the planter he is called the foe
to labor. The fact that he
gives TO the world the means
of producing staples at a less
cost, and consequently be-
comes a benefactor of the
masses indirectly is not re-
cognized. That he has taken
work from an individual or
certain classes of wage work.
ers is sufficient cause for the
condemnation that is landed
on his head.
The man who invented the
sugar land implements that
we sell did that which acts to
a certain degree as an offset
to any tariff Legislation in the
United States.
A whole colony of planta-
ton laborers could not do in
one day what an Avery Stub
BILE Digger operated by one
man can perform. 1t saves
labor and consequently coin.
In distributing fertilizers every
plantation manager knows
that it cannot be done by hand
without loss Of material. By
the use of the Avery Fertilizer
Distributor the material is
spread SO evenly that there S
40 loss whatever, and one
nan with one of these machines
IAN do as much work as
line without it.
The results that follow the
lse Of these implements ap-
oly as we'll to the Stubble
Showers and Disc Cultivators. |
The following testimonials
'egarding the implements
should be a sufficient guaran-
zee of their usefulness.
HUTCHINSON PLANTATION COMPANY, Nal
AIEHU, HAwAII.
March LIST, 1895.
:. R. HENDRY, ESQ Hawaiian Hard
ware T. Inpany.
DEAR SIR: In answer TO yo-r letter
mourning about Avery Stubble Dig
ers and Fertilizer Distributor, | Won
ay that the fact that we have just re-
eived the second Stubble bigger speaks
n itself. We have dug over tour hun
red acres of rattoon stools and consider
will be great benefit.
The Fertilizer Distr. butor is a good
ming AMI has effected a material saving
labor in the application of Fertilizer
nd applies it better than can be done
y hand.
These machines are very simple and
ell c)nst' ucted and we have had no
oubl- with the working of them and
e consider them one Of the most useful
Dor saving machines that can be used
n plantation.
Yours Truly,
q G.. HEWITT,
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1895-03-14
SATISFACTION
IN EVERY
CASE.

We spoke casually in our last ''Ad" of
complicated work. You'd ought to see
the array of Chronographs and Repeat
ers repaired during the last few weeks.
Surprising where they all came from.
People appreciate this kind of work at
home, and it won't be long before we do
every complicated watch in the country.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1895-03-14

RUMoRs circulating among the
natives would indicate that many
of them are still inclined to look
upon President Cleveland as not
particularly friendly to the Re-
Dublic.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1895-03-14
The Maps :. :. :.

with the mountain habors
of hundred of the towns the islands.
1t excellent reference for the home office.
looking
distinct idea of unique geographical position the the
Pacific This illustrated integenty by
showing distance
three steamer the Pacific indicated.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1895-03-14

HAKALAU, HAWAII, February 16, 1895.
Mr. r.. X. HKNDRY, PreIIdent and Mana
ger Hawa Ian Hardware Company,
HoEoluln, oahu.
We u5 the : very stumble Digger. Fer
til z-r If~irihI-"r and Cane Cultivator
hey sare lIbp and 30 the work claimed
for them. the STA bl.- Digger cyn-id-
er 4 par,i .Uld " good imp1ement
Yours Truly,
GEO, o-s,
MANAGE Eaka'lu Plantation Company.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1895-01-12
SrEUBENvILLE's CENTENARY.

Some Interesting Krlic. Recently I'm
cnrihed In That City.
sp,ciG! DuDaini TO n. ha,iIiaeaoer.
STEuBESvILRr, O., Jan. 1.-THE Wells
historical association Of this county,
which is collecting and preparing data
to be used in the celebration OF tue ono
huudrcd,h anniversary OF the laying
on. OF s,cubenvilIc in 1897. are finding
great trouble in fixing the location OF
the first land office in Ohio a. this place.
as well rs the birthplace OF Secretary OF
War Edwin NJ. Stanton, and ,hat OF
Benjamin Lundy, the old abolitionis., at
Mt. Pleasant. Committees have been
appointed to make these locations OK.
act. The high school graduates have
started monument on tho West Viz
GINA hills across from this city near a
rock called "Stauton Rock" and zach
pilgrim to this revered spot whore Stan.
ton spent many hours OF study, adds his
mite in the shape OF stone to the con.
stantlr growing monument
In these days. when banks and cur.
rency are the main topics, the fact that
n copy OF President Jackson's message
yetoinc tho rechar.ering OF the United
States Bank in 1882, printed on silk
cloth. has been unear.hed here in good
preservation, will create come interest.
County Recorder Vance has dug out
fiity-scyen old land grants 70 BezaecI
Wells and James Ross, early settlers
here, for land in every county from Je:.
ierson and ColuInbiava as far west as
Ceryahoga. Tho grants belonging to
this county. having never beon recorded
here, were placed on record. The
patents wero granted by Presidents
Adams, Jefferson and Madison.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1895-01-12
KNOWLEDGE

Brings comfort md improvement and
tends to personal enjoyment when
rightly used. The many, who live bet
ter than others and enjoy life more, with
less expenditure, by moro promptly
adapting the worlds best products to
the needs of physical being, will attest
the value to health of the pure liquid
laxative principles embraced in tho
remedy, Syrup Of Figs.
Its excellence is due to its presenting
IN the form most acceptable and pleas.
ant to the taste, the refreshing and truly
beneficial properties of perfect !ax-
ativc cilcctually cleansing the system,
dispelling colds, headaches and fcvcrs
and permanently curing constipation.
1t has given satisfaction to millions and
met with the approval of the medical
profession, because il acts on the Kid
ncys, Liver and Bowels without weak.
cning them and it Is perfectly FREQ from
every Objectionable substance.
Syrup Of Figs is for sale by all drug
gists in SOC and 81 bottles, but it ia man.
ufacturcd by the California Fig Syrup
Co. only, whose name is printed on every
package, also the name, Syrup of Figa,
and being vol Informed, you will not
accept any substitute if offered.