The morning times., 1895-10-19
GRAVEYARD L1rFRATURE.
Solemn Subjects That You Cant
Help Laughing at.
Let's talk of worms and graves and cpl

10 ueclpner, 80 oiu and moss covered are
the stones on which it is carved. 1t is at
times pathetic, at times amusing, but al
ways quaint. What, for instance, could be
more unique than the following, which
may be found in church yard at Llau-
fllantwthyi, Wales:
Under this stone lies Meredith Morgan,
Who blew the bellows of our church or
gan.
Tobacco he hated, to smoke most unwilling,
Yet never so pleased as when pipes he was
filling.
No reelection on him for rude speech could
be cast
Though he made our old organ give many
blast.
No puffer was he, though a capital blower;
He couid fill double G, and now lies a
note lower.
And the vicissitudes of long life are
tersely set forth in the following eptaph,
copied from tombstone in Lincolnshire,
England:
Beneath this stone, in sound repose,
Lies William Rich, of Lydeard close;
Eight wives lie had, yet none survive,
And likewise children eight times five;
or great grandchildren five times four;
Rich born, rich bred. yet fate adverse
His wealth and fortune did reverse;
He lived and died immensely poor,
July tue teiituf dRcu fliHtty y-iouT
Sometimes composer of the inscription
seeks to impart Il profound moral lesson, as
witness the following, which may be read
upon the tomb of Dr. Samuel Rutter, once
Dean of fLitchfield, ,and la ter Bishop of Sodor
and Man. 1t is al st. Gerniain's, in the Isle
of Man. The original is in Latin, but the
following is fairly good translation:
In this house,
which have borrowed from
my brethren. the worms,
lie +,
Samuel, by divine permits sion.
Bishop of this Island.
Stop, reader,
behold, and smile at
THE PALACE OF A BISHOP!
who died May 80,
1868.
The advocates OF temperance may find
encouragement in the following voice
from The tomb in Thetford cIurcbyard, In
Norfolk:
Ny grandfather lies buried here,
My cousin Jane and two unclcs dear;
Ny father rcrished it'll Inflammation
In his eyes;
Ny sister droped down dead
In the Minories,
But the reason why I'm here inferred,
According TO my thinking,
Is owing 70 my good living and hard drink
ing,
Therefore. good people, if you with TO live
long
Don't drink tco much wine, brandy, gin
Or anything strong.
follow cr of Aesculapus lies buried
in HanCon ohurchyard, Niddlcscx. That
he was familiar with ,otLer liquids than
those which he carried in his medicine
chest may be inferred from these lines
carved on his tombstone, y hich run thus;
ON THOMAS CRoSSFIELD, NJ. d.
Beneath this stone TEN Crossiield lies,
Who cares not Row whoIarghs or cries,
He laughed when sober aiIa when mellow
Was a harum-scarum, harmless fellow.
He gave 10 none designed oifensc.
So "Honi soft, cui nal : Tense
In Chlswiek chufrbyafd is cured the
great IaInter. William Hogar,h His cpl
laph was written by David Garrick:
Farcw ell. great painter or mankind,
Who reacted the noblcst POINT of art,
Whose piciurd morals ohafm tie mind,
And through Il a. eye correct tie heartl r.
II genius fire thee. reader, stay:
II nature touch Itce. crop tear;
II neither move thee, turn away,
For Hrgarlh's honor'd dust lies lcre.
A rather chcap attempt at panning may
be read in Selby ohurchyard, York, where
tut EftNt Ok It4t
This tombstone is a milestone:
Hah. now so?
Because beneath lies Miles,
Who's miles below.
Another in the same vein is in st. Ben
nett's, Paurs Wharf. London:
Hero lies one Moore. and no more than he:
One Moore. and M more, how cahtbat be?
Why one Moore and no more may wen lie
here ulOuP.
Bat here lies one Moure, and that's more
than one.
In st. MichaeI's churchyard. 4 berytswitb,
is another, though uf a somewhat higher
order. 1t is on the stone above the grave
OF David Davis, who in life was a black
smith:
Ny SIedge and Hammer lay reclined:
My Bellows, tou. have lost their wind;
Ny Fires extinct, my Forge decayed,
And in the dust my vice is laid.
Ny coal is spent, my iron gone,
Ny nails areDrove-ny work is done.
One of the local Histories of Cornwall is
authority for the following:
Father and Mother andI
Lies buried here as under:
Father and Mother lies buried here,
And l lies buried yonder.
y For brevity, the following copied from st.
MichaeI's churchyard. Crooked Lane Lon
don, can scarcely be excellcd:
Here lieth wrapped in clay,
The body of William Wray-
have no more T., say.
Lord Byron's wit may be seen in the
following epitaph on the tombstone of a
man who had been carrier at Southwell:
John Adams lies here, of the parish of
Southwell,
A carrier, who carried the can to his mouth
well;
He carried so much, and he carried SO fast,
He could carry no more-so was carried at
last.
For the liquor he drank, being too much for
one,
He could not carry off, SO he's now carri-on.
4 n
The COnsta BILE 81 Perquisite.