davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hazel Green herald. [volume] (Hazel Green, Wolfe County, Ky.) 1885-19??, 1895-12-05
A PARROTS INFERENCE.
What the Bird Said About the Minis
tcr's Head.
N. Y. Truth,

What the Bird Said About the Minis
tcrs Head.
Among the neighborhood stories told
and implicitly believed in the Massa-
chusetts town of W is one which
we should be slow in asking any reader
to credit, but which is interesting us an
example of the local wit in story MAX
ing. The wife of Deacon Saunders. an
excellent citizen of the place, is said to
have possessed parrot of exceptional
intelligence and remarkable eonversa.
tional powers.
On one occasion Mrs. Saunders was
making cucumber pickles. She had the
cucumbers IN a dish on the kitchen
table, and was stirring kettle of hot
vinegar and spices over the fire with a
wooden spoon. While thus engaged
she CHANGED to turn about, and saw the
parrot making or with one of the GU
cumbers.
''Ha, YOU rascal You've been steal.
ing pickles." she exclaimed. and threw
the wooden spoon, dripping with boil
ing vinegar, at the bird. sgl%5 + z.
ult struck him on the top of his head.
and, though it inflicted no serious in.
jury, its effect was To take the feathers
entirely off the top Of the birds head
leaving him bald for season. Il
Some time afterward a minister from
another town came TO preach al the
w church, and took dinner at pea
con Saunders He was quite bald. AZ
the famil II and ,he minister Sat down
at the table, the parrot who had tbe
freedom Of the room, came up and
perched on the TAN back 81 the chai:.
ard eyed the top Of his head with 4
close and highly interested scrutiny.
And then the bird called ont harshly:
lIa, You rascal You've been steal-
Ing piclSlcs!"-- Youths Companion.
The Hazel Green herald. [volume] (Hazel Green, Wolfe County, Ky.) 1885-19??, 1895-12-05

1
| don't wonder that you felt il necessary
to do something. What is your plan of
campaign? WIN you lecture before the
Press club?"
Dear me! That will not be neces-
sary, will it?'
Not absolutely necessary; but it is
the usual mode of proceeding in such
| matters"
20, couldn't think of that"
We'll, will you direct your attention
towards reforming the managing
| editors or the reporters? l think a
great deal might be accomplished by
individual work among the reporters -
30, don't know yet what shall do
My plans are not fully matured."
Finding that no definite information
could be got, Percollum and Scorch be-
gan to offer suggestions, to which she
listened eagerly. When the interview
was ended she felt very much encour-
aged and was sure that reporters were
much maligned class.
Mrs. De Ferd was Mortified on hear
ing who her daughters callers were,
for she is one of those old-fashioned
women who think a woman's name
should never appear in the papers en-
cept at her birth, marriage aud death.
But Hope soothed her fears and assured
her nothing would appear in the pa
pers about it, And the reporters We're
really such nice young men, there could
be no harm in having chat with them
Nothing further happened until
about five o'clock. when there was a
furious ring at the door-bell. A mo-
ment later Mr. De Ferd was heard
roaring: .-a. .#. L IT.
Where is that little fool2 Hope!
Hope! Where are you? Hopper J."
What is the matter, papa?" she said,
in alarm. as she ran 10 him.
80. that / should be the. father of
sucha blathering idiot! What did You
mean BY talking yards of driyeling
lunacy to rcporters?" za III . Il, .s...
why, they haven't put anything in
the papers, have they?'' 1T. Nj j
Haven't, Ell? Look here? Columns
oft! You have made us the laughing,
stock Of the town r@l /. .*% Z I& #&
And they seemed such nice young
men she murmured, sobbing
Reporters NIGEL Aw--! !" and fling
ing the bundle Of evening papers to the
floor. he rushed away to commune with
his brandy bottle. IA
Picking up the papers, Hope fled to
her room. The first she looked into
contained this attractive heading 20 a
two-column article:
HOPE IN THE HEARTS.
Pretty Miss De Ferd Organizes i Reform.
DEATH TO sENsATIoSAL.ss;...
The HYDRA Headed Press TO be Given a
Haircut and Shampoo
That was enough. She threw her
self ON the bed and cried as IL her heart
was broken. She wanted to die When
her mother came up little later and
put her arms about her, Hope hid her
face In her bosom and they cried to-
gether. When the culprit grew quiet
err, Mrs De Ferd went away feeling al
most happy. The oond that bound her
daughter to her was stronger than
ever She was now prepared to act as
Hopes champion and protect her from
the nnrighteous Indignation OF her fa-
ther.
Finally Hopes tears were exhausted
aud she began to read what the popeis
said about her. AS she read paragraph
after paragraph of ridicule and merci-
less sarcasm, her shame .as only
equaled by her rage.
She did not 60 down to dinner that
d.
The Hazel Green herald. [volume] (Hazel Green, Wolfe County, Ky.) 1885-19??, 1895-12-05
HOPES TWENTY-FIRST.
by r. M'ARTHuR.

ttE1 Were STU
ting in I he
p d RI D r D 4
Hopes home.
and for about
the twentieth
time he had
asked her to
be his W life
and had been
a n S W ere
mo. Pro.
posing h a d
become n sort
of habit with
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1895-12-26

trict in citizens clothes,g statioasd himself
rear window where q crowd of women
afways fingered. lie knew that sooner or
ialer he would have chance to make an
arrest.
In the early afternoon he saw man
deity remove gold skirt pin from the back
Of reckless woman who probably knew
little about the danger of shopping in the
holiday season. The policeman grabbed him
and the thief seemingly lost his footing and
slipped 10 the ground, but was on his feet
again loudly protesting hjs innocence He
decla-ed it an outrage to accuse an honest
man Of such crime, but confident Of what
Ne had seen, the policemen then and there
searched his prisoner for the stolen pin. 1t
wasn't found and then the sidewalk was
searched with the same result. There was
no doubt that the pm had been stolen, for
the policeman had seen the theft and the
victim stood weeping while the sympathetic
crowd tried to find it.
HOW THE PIN WAS FOUND.
The man was locked up, but none Of the
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1895-12-26
Returned the Compliment.

A young man and young woman lean
over the front gate. They are lovers. 1t is
nooniight. He was 10th to leave, Is the
parting i ths last. He i about to 20 away.
She Is reluctant ~ rec him depart. They
swing on the gate.
''I'll never forget YOU" he says, land II
death should claim me, my last thoughts will
be Of you"
1sI'll be true TO you," she sobs. ssI'll new
er zee anybody else, OF love them a long q
] live"
They part. Six years later he returns.
His sweetheart Of former yeas has married.
They meet at party. She has changed
greatly; between the dances the recognition
takes place.
'sLet me see" she muses. with her fen
beating tattoo on her pretty hand; twas il
Jon or your brother who was my old sweet
hearth"
Really. don't know" he says, ''proba-
bly, my father"
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1895-12-26

was standing In the lobby of one OF
the hotels the other night when the bell of
the indicator began to ring violently, and
one OF uhe small arrows jumped around to
146. The clerk stepped to the box, turned
the crank to strengthen the arrow, and pro-
coeded with his work again. Again the
bell rang. and again the arrow pointed to
the same plumber. The clerk turned the
crank again and registered guest Then
he bell rang again and the arrow pointed,
to the same number third time, and the
clerk went through the same operation.
this continued for about halt an hour.
Then my curiosity was aroused and In
CURED the reason OF the continuous ring
ing from the gentleman behind the desk
who was busy at the crank.
''Oh, that's just Colonel-aLd drunk
axain, he said, land he's ringing for
drinks, but we let him enjoy himself
pressing the button till he becomes tired,
and than rOlls into bed. He gets that wav
ahout once . month. and we're always
pfopared for it"-Louisvills Commercial.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1895-12-26
Al ovsr tie World.

Al oysr The World.
Japan has two monthly journals Of photoe-
faphy.
Her majesty's theater in the Haymarket
e to make way for big hotel.
St. Petersburg has 1 new and wonderful
prima donna, Helene Chsvrier.
At Erfurt, in Prussia, government attor-
ney has been fined for insulting 1 social
democrat editor.
A new edition Of Chamber Euclyclo-
pedia has been begun; the volumes are 10 be
published monthly.
There were 10000 wine shops in France
in 1891, according to lie Figaro, OF one for
every S. grown men.
q Pasteur's successor in the direction Of the
Pastcur institute is M. Ducluax, formerly
sub director; DR.. Roux Is the new sub
director.
Meissonier's statue has been dedicated IN
Paris. Il stands in the infanta's garden Of
the Louvre, facing the church Of ST. Ger
main iAuxesrois.
BARON Hirsch has sold his 40. 600 hunt
ing estate at 81. Johann, il Bohemia. to
Prince Frederick Charles Of Hohsnh0he.
cousin q the reichsxanzier.
A check Tor k5.ooo has been sent to Dr..
w. q. Grace, representing the 10000. shil-
ling subscriptions 70 the testimonial started
fos him ~ the Daily Telegraph.
! Hi Excellcncy Il the title 81 which
Esness Cnftais, the Historian q Greece, Il
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1895-12-26
police could identify him IN court as :

police could identify him IN court as regu-
lar crook and the woman refused to appear
against him, fearing the publicity. The man
was held for short time and then discharged
Later the woman advertised for the re-
turn of the missing pin and subsequently it
was returned to her by a young lady, who
said she found it stuck in the folds of her
dress on her return home one day from shop
ping. Further conservation disclosed the
fact that the young lady was looking in the
window at the time Of the theft and had
seen the whole affair. She did not know
who the owner Of the pin was or would have
returned it sooner.
1t seems that the instant TIE thief felt
hand on his shoulder he dropped to the
ground, sticking the pin into the dress near
est him. He knew it would be dangerous
to DROP on the sidewalk as it would easily
have been found and might helped towards
would have fallen into this error, but the
quick wit Of. the adept did not fail him.
THR sHoPLIFTERs.
In the shops themselves there are hordes
of shoplifters, mostly women. So many
private detectives, both men and women are
euplOySu IN Sue large StOIeS maklDE SnOp-
lifting SO hazardous that only the most
daring women follow il, or the rankest anna
teur crooks. of the latter scores are caught
every day. Many of the professionals
carry baby with them for the double pur-
pr Of hiding the goods in the long clothes
q TIE infant and appearing to belong to the
respectable married class to divert suspic-
ion.
Slowing away the stolen goods is diff
cult matter. The present fashion of gowns
6ttiag close to the hips does away with the
l'slack'' or shoplifter's pocket, extending 10
he bott m of the skirt. One ynung woman
rseaatly caught had a neat contrivanee fas-
tened around the leg just below the knee.
It was strong band Of heavy cloth, which
fitted like q garter, and to it was, attached
number Of small hooks. The instant she
stole anything she would strop down = it
to tie her shoe and slip the article on one OF
the hooks, She could only steal small
things, but when she was caught I tiny
watch and several pieces Of costly lace were
found in the unique hiding place.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1895-12-26
Turned The Tables.

"From some of the reports circulated In
the east" said German p. Tetnew, OF Gall
weston, Tex, the other night, lone Is led
to believe that the western. particularly tho
far southwestern. citizen is pretty bad
man. whose chief amusement and means
of gaining livelihood consists OF highway
robbery. But think the finest piece OF
holding up ever heard Of was accomp-
lished by young New Yorker who travel
ed in our state and Mexico for druggists
fancy articles mandatory.
'vThis young man." he continued, "was
travelling In the state of COahulla. Mexico,
about two Gears ago and went one night to
Saltillo, the capital Of the state. 1t was the
first time ne had been in the town. and,
after transacting little business, he start
ed out to see the sights. As he entered the
isolated street he was suddenly confronted
misunderstanding sell0w, who, IN glib
mOngeral Spanish. demanded his valuaDles
with accompanying gestures that made his
meaning perfectly Ineligible to the intend
ed victim. The highwayman held in one
hand a long, sinister-lOOking knife and
waved it about In q suggestive manner
which implied the necessity OF ready COM
pliance with his wishes or tragic result.
''But the salesman was man OF quick
wit and ready resources. Instead of hand
ing over property he thrust his hand into
his pocket, and moment later the cold
shidv barrel of what seemed to be rebol-
yer was pointed at the would-be robbers
head.
Excuse me- said the young man, but
this Is my game
Naturally, the surprise caused By the
unexpected production OF the suppose re-
volver produced a change in the confident
manner In which the r0bber had confrOnted
tho New Yorker. and he started back. In
stant.y the salesman knocked the knife
from his hand, stopped down, picked it up,
took the highwayman by the collar before
he could escape and marched him before
the police authorities. At the preliminary
trial of the wonld-be robber the following
morning the guilt of the prisoner was
already established, and his commitment
was about to follow when he asked IL 1t
were not an 0ffense for strangers in the
country to carry concealed weapons. He
was told that 1t was. Then he demanded
the arrest Of the young salesman, charging
him with carrying q revolver. The native
justice asked the salesman II the charge
was true. This was admitted. He was
then asked II he still had the weapon con-
cooled on his person. The young man
said he had, but pleaded that Its possession
had the night before prevented q robbery
and possibly murder. He was informed
that such circumstance did not alter the
case and that he had violated the law.
The prisoner smiled sardOnically on be-
holding the tight place into which the au-
thorities were seemingly drawing the New
Yorker, but his mirth turned 10 disgust
when the young man pulled the revolver
from his pocket and laid it down before the
magistrate. 1t was nothing but . cologne
atOmizer fashioned In the shape Of q revolt
yer, such rs were manufactured in Quanti-
ties several years ago. Baltimore Sun.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1895-12-26
The Apology Was Accepted

'sThere Is . good story on the Examiner, u
said ]. Ross Jackson. the ex-newspaper man
to soaae friends u the Palecs recently, sand
although I'm OFT a the business Il can,
overlook il mSiiss. q thu accouna. Il ap.
pears that 2 1ruggik nsmed Putnam Va,
killed in Willows recently bya man named
Sehorn. The telegraph report came to the
Call and also the Chronicle. The next
morning when Managing Editor Hamilton,
OF the Examiner, was looking over the re-
cord OF the day, he discovered that his paper
bad been sscooped' on that particular item.
He thereupon sent Tor MI. Corey the coas,
editor Of the paper.
!. MT. Corey he said, with dignifed
look on his face, have We = correspondent
in Willows2'
|" YES
J, /" Did he send report Of that murder7'
- Fire him.
How? By mail?'
!" No. By telegraph. We can't dispose
o. man like that too quickly. A cores
Pondent who doesn'. know that murder
has been committed ii his town isn't Ct for
the position, Bounch him.
WI. SOfey went to his book OF correspon-
dents, and presently returned to the man
aging editor.
\ 'M. Hamilton, there IRE certain cir
|cumstances IN this mans favor that
There are no circumstances that would
Justify such an exhibition Of incompetency.
!" but MI. Hamilton, this case has NO
parallel. The man has good excuse for
overlooking the Importance Of the story,
Well, what was his excuser INQUIRED
the editor, becoming nervous.
Well answered Corey, scratching his
cnin moment, he was the man who GOT
killed. 8, = -.
"Mr. Hamilton lapseds into silencs, and
vent on reading some proofs Of the story 81
Mr. Hearst's latest investment Ia the news-
papers. San Francisco Call.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1895-12-26
At Tho BARRIERS.

A. he took his seat In . Brooklyn bar
berss shop the fat, jolly looking customer
turned to the knight Of the shears and
sale:
':Dot vas pretty good joke on Hans, vat
keeps the barber shop around the corner
don't it?'
swat vas It; guess don't already hear
Of IT." replied the enlongated German bar
Der a. he stfOpped q razor before begin
ming work on his customer.
s'YOu don't have heard that joker" said
the latter. 1T vas 60 funny l laugh my
self Ill ofer efery time tink of 1t. 1t vas
like this: A man come into Hans placo
md Hans shave him. He says to Hans:
There vas something de matter wild dot
razor. und Hans be says, Mix Thin
the man laugh like de devil nearly out OF
his chair, and say: Yes. dots it--nicks
ha, ha, hav Bretty good joke, wasn't itP''
n II don't see where the joke comes out, I"
replied the barber rs he dabbed the lather
In his cust0mrr's lefteye.
''You don't see that joke-nlcksp" asked
the customer impatientiy.
mix. Isee no joke init nix; und l tink
you vas crazy replied the barber en-
phatically.
.veI, il you don't see some joke nit
hicks you vas briefly thich-headed,' an
swered the customer In ali angry tone OF
voice.
lyon vas foolish or drunk-maybe sun.
stroked," sacastically replied the barber.
"Maype vas drunkard loafer." yelled
the customer, ''but find me barber who
wasn't SO thick-headed he sees no joke
init hicks" and with that parting shot he
went out of the shop slamming the d0Ol
after him.
Next" called out the barber, and a
the new victim took his seat in the chair
he said: dot fellar vOt goes out vas .
flamfiimmer or . cIaxy lunaticks."
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1895-12-26
Slippers Gentry Reap a Hair
vest in Holiday Times.
SHOPPERS ARE QUITE EASY
Hard Work For the Sly De-
tective.

The holiday season is supposed to bring
JOY and gladness to every one, but the
detective force Of the city is perhaps the ex-
ception which proves the rple.
Christmas time to them IS a period of
ceaseless work, unlimited bother and often
times with not much to show for their labors.
1t is the harvest time of the pickpocket and
the sneak thief and they haunt the shopping
district in droves. What makes it paticular
ly aggrivating to the police is, that this class
Of criminal is the most difficult to deal with
Cowardly and shrewd and gifted with per-
verted intelligence which is constantly en-
ployed tocreate new schemes by which i,
can safely follow the trade and prosper.
Men versed in the different types Of crimi-
nails agree that the pickpocket and sneak
thief are hopeless from standpoint of pos.
sible reformation. They represent the low.
est strata in criminology, because their vo.
cation is carried on without personal danger.
Their natures in time become honeycombed
with evil and there is nothing substantial
enough left on which to build structure Of
honesty. On the other hand, the burglar OF
highway arobber must possess some kind Of
courage and where there is courage there is a
chance of reformation.
THE CRIMINAL POPULATION.
Estimates recently made place the mum.
Der of professional criminals in this country
1t Ioo, 600 and the bulk of the whole mum.
Der in the FIVE largest cities. Crooks from
all over flock to the great centres during the
holiday season, even some Of the finest
cracksmen being unable to resist the tempta.
ton to do'a piece of work among the woman
shopperssburdened with Christmas cash.
The criminal population Of New York %.
day is clase to 10000. Before The day on
which Santa Claus makes his rounds, hun.
dreds of them will Be in jail for safe keep
ing until the holiday season Is over. When-
ever we'll known croob appears in the
shopping district he is nabbed at once and
held on the charge of being Suspicious
character.
It is very hard to obtain suficient evidence
against any of these light fingered gentry 70
secure their conviction for theft, owing to
the adroitness they display in getting rid OF
discriminating articles. Time and again de-
tectives have pounced upon man TIE very
second he was seen to steal purse or bit OF
jewelry,, but nothing could be foand when
be was searched Immediately after.
WORK IN SHALL SQUADS.
The reason Of this II that the 4clever~et
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1895-12-26

49, w : q! !. !: eood tAins INT tAe
w. - not known ~ Whist
& Vt ~ know IN yAe3
US s 4 II
~ g - y Il ll1lln6aS. WAat Jlapf
Ky = ~ 49, Qkfial ~ bofnY IL He
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1895-12-26

- 49, glnasy intsPst beauseef -
$500 nniteG s6@rh of1he phristia& En-
alAyou1s o ClevslandA 01ao, tos eing
l4Dut III N6aSera3On ~ ugayek Un4oabt-
e4y III u ikeeedSpf o0nvoasion, but q
WOul4 10 0llIcult 10 md any one who could
express inner Christmas sentiments than the
ri s beautiful TO give one day 70 the
Ideal 10 have one day apart
ssOne day for generous deeds. Tor good
\ = 5n Ii dsyso.iUsxse she shadows, tnsnins
the storms Of life; TO remember the sun
chime, the happiness Of youth and health.
on the winding q, y rslnenbsr the fruits
zone day ID which u fsed tle hungry,
TO salute the poor en6 loWly.
Zone day 70 feel the bfoth0rhood OF man.
''Onc day to remember the heroic and
loving deeds Of the dead.
'.One day to got acquainted with children
10 remember the old. the unfortunate and
the imprisoned.
s.One day 10 which to forget yourself and
think lovingly Of Others.
Zone day for the family, for the hreside
for wife and children, for the love aAd
laughter. the Joy and rapture OF home.
''One day Ia which bonds and stocks and
deeds and nDtes and interest and mertga-
ges and all kinds Qf business md trade are
forgotten, and alf1tosss andsshops and lac
tories and Offices and banks and ledgers and
accounts and laWspite ~ east sasides put
away and locked up, and the weary heart
and brain are given voyage to fairyland.
/ Let us hope that such . day is q pro-
pheey Of what I'll days will be.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1895-12-26
Cause and Exact.

When Dolly says I'm naughty
And tOsses high her head
In manner cold and naughty.
And cheeks . vivid red.
Perhaps you think | tease herr
Or crave her sweet g00d-willr
Oh, no. I simply squeeze her
And-she gets madden still.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1895-12-26

yesterday e. -
.ls he elated over itfn
He will be- Il wae ) eaeo VI 49, al,a /
Lost TIE bek.n - Is Ii 4
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1895-12-26
~ oman Abbott and 4
Tristan Scientist s.
HE ATHEIST IDEA.
:! | Religious Meaning Of
ne Day Dying Out.

~ haye differed about religion since
Non 81 tho world, and they will 60
lnG = long 6 the earth lasts, but
sabject d the Christmastide season
S 4 cn . rsplets with religious mean
sn md women Of Ill beliefs and no
q m agree In the main and applaud
~ which showers 30 much happiness
- universe.
MI ri laSt a aptly illustrated BY the fol
lA1 Sisws oti The Christmas season made
oar pefsons Of religious and anti-relig
~ pu9ht To Of the viewa represent
- religion, one represent orthodox
~ represents tho Christmas Idea
o nnost formidable foe Of religious be-
'k q ~ Az. and tho other represents the
20 Nhat u generally described u mis-
n rsliGion. These views speak for
ID On. LYMAN ABBOTT.
| sgelD ~ Christmas Idea Of Dr.. Lyman
4 uo(f pastor 81 Plymouth church In
IN, : man reGaided q fitting sue
4 lpf q Henry Ward Bsecher:
lsss night have thouGht Il hardly worth
T. ~ apd answer this question did
- ~ ltasksd ~ othSrs, and varlously
Il = trus that Christmas has
M N tlnas1 past aeeSmpanisd ~ excsss,
T. ~ stlmss now. i = true that Il
u Tldsd ~ supsrstitiona pef-
slimes ~ % degraded now.