Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1895-04-13
TOLD ABOUT TOWN.
A Young Cigarette Fien !-Caught ~ .
Matrimonial Bureau.

u3uCc, 0utcEcu CiSoI StOEc Tue OtucE
afternoon, and threw five pennies on
the counter:
.sGive us bunch of Sweet Caps,
he said to the proprietor in q COM
mandant tone. assuming the man.
nerisms and vocabulary of a dead
tough mark, so to speak, to perfec-
ton.
The proprietor stretched over the
counter in search OF his youthful Gus
name. my boy?"
willie Jinks," was the sarcastic
reply.
willie Jinks?" continued the man
behind the counter. casting q smiling
glance at the by-standers, who were
becoming amused at the little fell
lows apparent uneasiness. We'll,
Willie, how old are you and where do
you live?"
Il don't know as dat cuts any fig
ure." retorted Willie. squirting
stream of tobacco juice from between
his teeth onto the floor.
Don't you know that l could be
prosecuted for selling little boy like
you cigarettes?"
81 'spOse dats some Of my business
nit. Holy crimps! you fellers alus
chewin' de rag about de laws. You
gives me de shakes. Hand me over
me coin if you don't want it, and I'll
60 where dey thinks jes as much of a
kids coppers as any un else's."
After plagueing the little fellow
awhile longer. the proprietor gave
him his money, and babe him mosey.
Willie started for the door, an
swering the man thuslv: "Remem-
Der, dis settles us-yOu1l not have
another chance to handle my coin,
see?"
Outside we're three of Willie's
companions awaiting to indulge in
one of the paper-covered coffin nails.
where's de Gigs, buddie?"
asked one.
Yes, give US one. I'm purity
near dead" said another.
Didn't you get emp" asked the
third.
Nav" he replied, emptying his
mug and scratching his tangled locks.
ode Indian wouldn't sell me cause !
was too small, he says; wouldn't it
frost you? An he was breakin' me
off a whole string about de laws
you'd tink we didn't have a license
to pull cheeroots. But tell you,
stuck into him right for bein' so per-
ticlar. and let him know dat l was
no gee er. What de blazes," and he
%kn l. vr-sf l. CT 6af
friendly punch. and they started down
the street whistling in search OF
some one willing to accept their CT
garette money.
Claimed by an Unknown Female.
The persistency of lovelorn mai
denhood in pursuing one whom
she is DESTROYS of making her brave
protector is undoubtedly realized to
the fullest extent by Rock Island
young gentleman, who has been re-
ceiving letters from a Davenport wo-
man who is outspoken and emphatic
in her claims upon him OF matri-
monial promise. She persists he is
her lawful husband if he is wont to
retain his standing as man of word
which signifies nothing more than
that he should fulfill his part of the
contract. tenderly grasp her right
wing, meander forth to Hymen's
throne, be promoted with the title
of benedict, and spend the balance
of his days in the happy and holy
throng.
The womau's apparent seriousness
h,c of N
commence rapping beneath his vest.
as her missives are accompanied by
no explanation of how he made any
matrimonial overtures other than
that his name was forwarded her by
a MISUNDERSTANDING securing agency.
with instructions to go after him. as
he was manageable. How this
matrimonial bureau succeeded in
getting his name on its roll of wife,
seekers is another question. which he
is unable to explain. But as she had
forwarded a monetary consideration
in order to secure q marriageable's
address, she of course has a kick
coming in meeting with total igno-
rance of her notification of accepta-
bilitv, and instead of seeking re-
course through those who buncoed
her is pushing her case with the
young gentleman, and keeping the
mail man busy conveying messages
of troubles and demands for affec-
tionate consideration. and intimat-
ing legal pursuance if suit
able response is not forthcoming.
she demands that he marry her or
she will come and get him. Enough
to dislocate the mental faculties Of
one of his nature. chase his heart
down to freezing temperature. and
make him feel as though ne was
dropping through his shoes. No
photographs accompanied her let
tiers, and whether she is of a voting
age or remembers when the Indians
dominated in this section; black.
white or n tenderfoot; auburn
headed, dark-headed or bald-headed
armless, toothless or blind, he can
not tell as she is an utter stranger to
him