Hutchinson gazette. [volume] (Hutchinson, Kan.) 1895-1902, 1895-08-01

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Dana lives at Conway Springs.
Indications are that the Kansas vo-
ter will return Mr.. Ingalls, love.
A Coffeyville inebriate uses his wife's
powder puff to take the shine off his
nose.
A Lawrence minister whose first ar
ticle of faith is keeping cool wears
duck trousers.
The clouds in Kansas are having a
depressing effect upon the corn mar
kets of the world.
The Kansas Millers inadvertently
put up the price of wheat 4 cents day
before yesterday.
The corn crop is already cramped for
room. A Beloit farmer is showing a
stalk with eight ears on it.
John E. Frost of Topeka is one of
the stockholders of new bank which
has been started at Halstead.
A Topeka woman who is wise in her
day and generation says she tries to
make home rival her husbands club.
A Lawrence girl started on her bri-
dial trip by riding to the depot on the
express wagon that carried her trunk.
An underground tunnel is being dug
at Haskell institute. This is probably
to facilitate making good Indians of
them.
An artist from Rome is painting the
brick houses and trees on the scenes
for the remodeled opera. house at
Atkinson.
The Lawrence man who had to take
musk to get rid of the hiccoughs, is
undecided which is worse, the remedy
or the disease.
1t now begins to appear that the corn
crop in Kansas is going to grow to
maturity without evoking single
original or new joke.
No one would suppose salina bicy-
clists much given to literature and yet
after hard road race every one of
them comes in rider, haggard.
Two miles of Santa Fe track have
been pulled up in Kansas by sunlight.
This is much better than if the train
had been held up by m oonlight.
Twenty-Five Atkinson men who
counted on the saloons furnishing the
city with revenue, are about to be ar
rested for not paying their poll tax.
There seems to be new COW as well
as new woman. A Topeka man is
advertising "a pneumatic tire bicycle
for thoroughbred shorthorn cow"
The advertisement of "liquid cleo
tricity" at Manhattan leaves room for
the suspicion that the prohibitory law
is not working there as smoothly as it
might.
The young men of Gaylord ought to
be ashamed to let the old fathers in
Israel take all the pretty girls to sup
per whenever there is a festival in
town.
It has been so long since there was
knock down fight in Burlington poker
room that it is thought the practice of
dealing from the bottom has fallen, in
to desuetude.
Nothing short of catastrophe or
pestilence can keep Ottawa county in
the background when the births for
the past three years have exceeded the
deaths by 257.
II was so hot at Manhattan the 9TH
er day that celluloid collar encircling
mans neck exploded. This should
teach us not to wear celluloid collars
except on Sunday.
Because a young man at Washing
ton has lived in the place almost two
years, and has never got married nor
taken any steps toward it, the old
women call him hirt.
"a good laugh" is advertised to be
had at the Manhattan opery house
Tuesday night for % cents. "Smiles"
continue at the same old price of so
cents at the drug stores.
Mrs. Ida E. Peacock, the authoress,
has been granted divorce from Thorn
as Brewer Peacock, the poet, by Judge
Hazen of Topeka. The proceedings
were conducted secretly.
A Wichita girl, who is big enough to
know better, stretches her chewing
gum out of her mouth, and when re-
proved says she does it for calisthen-
in exercise to make her biceps larger.
If some of the editors who are wor-
rying themselves and patient public
about the ''new woman" would devote
as much time in an effort to make new
men of themselves the world be greatly
benefited thereby.
A washerwoman, in Solomon City,
applied for help to a gentleman, who
gave her note to the manager of BIZ
cycle club. 1t read as follows: Dear
Mr.. c.: This woman wants wash
ing" Very quickly the answer came
back: 81 dare say she does, but 1 don't
fancy the job"