The morning times., 1895-10-06
When makins
Your Calls
ETIQUETTE OF CARDS FOR ALL
POSSIBLE OCCASIONS.
Old Customs That Have Disap-
peared With Society's Ever
Changing Fashions.

well known authority says Nothing
but death or a mortal illness should excuse
a failure to call personally within five
days after accepting an invitation to dine
and according to the strict rules governing
such matters, a week is the extreme limit
you may allow to pass without calling
after any social function to which you have
been asked. In France the -'yisite de d.
ges tion,'' as it is termed, positively must
be made within three days.
1t has been said that in New York this
rule, like many others, is more honored
in the breach than the observance but
have found 1t not so. On the contrary,
fashionable women in Gotham are the
powers socially and know it. They do not
expect quid pro quo except as they are will
ing to consider the scrupulous and unvarying
courtesy and Difference of those for whom
they do so much, q social equivalent. They
very properly insist upon the observance
OF every social law and no man defies
the ethics OF good society and escapes I'M
scathed.
CARDS OF SYMPATHY.
Elderly persons, young mothers, and
literary or professional women are ex-
empted from many social obligations ex-
acted from others. People in mourning
should use a blackbordered card and are
not expected to pay visits for several
months after their bereavement. 1t is
de rigeour for friends to leave cards for
those in affliction and TO leave them in
person, with an inquiry at the door for
the health of the family, but without
asking for Ambulance. 1t Is also GUS
tomary to call or at least to send cards
on the announcement Of n betrothal or
after a marriage, or upon the receipt OF
q marriage announcement. These cards
should If mailed, be addressed to the
brides mother.
WHEN AND HOW TO USE THEM.
Some years ago it was the fashion TO
turn and crease cards in a most unsightly
fashion The turning down of the right
end indicated one had called in person;
turning down of the right upper corner
that the card had been left for more than
one person; the doubling up of the card
that one called upon the whole family,
and the bending over of the left end some
thing else, 1 capnot for my life remember
what Happily, the fashion is obsolete;
it was not only a slovenly but most con-
fusing one. The custom Of to-day differs
radically from that of even ten years ago,
as to the presentation OF cards where a
lady is at home. 1t is no. considered in
correct to leave a card when the lady called
upon is at home. The servant announces
the guest: when her ladyship is out you
leave your card.
Cards are not used at fashionable func-
tons, teas, receptions, ETC.. except. to
furnish the footmau with ones name
Guests are always announced. custom
which saves much confusion and is in
every way to be commended. With the
announcement OF the guest the old and
disheartening spectacle of invites hunt
ing high and low for the host and hostesF
to greet them, hs. passed away:
RECEIVING OR NOT.
It is no longer proper to ask a servant
If Mrs. Brown is at home You should
inquire If Mrs Brown is receiving; if she
is you will simply add: VIII you say Mr..
Gordon asks if he may see her" You
offer no card. In case the servant replies
that Ars. Brown is not receiving you
leave your card
The custom of setting apart one day
in the week for receiving ones friends
has, like most fashions, its advantages
and drawbacks 1t is delightful to know
a charming woman will certainly be at
home a given day and we may call. but
to the hostess the at home day often be-
comes a good deal of bugbear and Fate
usually arranges many delightful oppor-
tunities for pleasure which fall upon the
Wednesday or Friday of ones reception
days and must be heroically declined. No
woman is so secure in the favor of her
friends as to successfully defy her self
made obligation to remain lat home"
at given hour aud day. Unless you have
strength of mind enough to resist the tempta-
ton sure to come, you would far better
determine not to bind yourself to a re-
ception day.
1t is customary and quite correct for per-
cons VINO are temporarily staying in any
large city to send their cards, with address
upon them, to any friends they may have in
the city. Married ladies may send such cards
to men of their acquaintance. Chaperons
usually send cards and formal note to gen
tlemen whom they know are desirable ac-
quaintances of the fair and silent young girl
who may not personally express her pref
erence. The chaperon may write little
note after this fashion:
Dear Mr. Livingstone:
am in town for a month. Miss Drayton
is with me. and we should be glad to see
you during our stay. We are stopping at
the Waldorf and usually take tea about ..
Sincerely yours,
HENRIETTA RATHBONE SCHUYLER.
June, the 11th-
Invitations for a social function from a
new acquaintance require immediate rec
ognition. 1t is customary not only to re-
spond formally to the invitation but also
to send visiting cards in separate envelopes
to the hostess. If several members of one
family have been invited each must send
his card separately.
Occasionally a much pressed woman
finds herself in arrears to many people in
the matter of ceremonious visits and dis
covers her delinquencies only when she is
such cases she may inciose her visiting
card 1t is simply an acknow ledgmens
Of her Indebtedness a-sd passes current
for the visit W hich social duties and time
have prevented her making.
When one wishes TO invite strangers,
people Tho have recently come to live in
the same city or guests of friends, hostess
may, if really pushed to the last extremity,
inclose her card with invitations 1t is,
however, far more polite to call in person
HOURS FOR CALLING
The hours for formal calling have change,
very much within the past twenty years
Formerly gentlemen called upon ladies' only
N the evening. More recently fashionable
men, in fauItless afternoon attire, paid
visits from to 6. Within the past few
years, however. men OF leisure have been
permitted many privileges, and it is quite