Tombstone epitaph., 1895-02-24
A VENDING BUREAU.
WHERE THE BATTERED AND 1'c RI
 MAY LIE UP FOR REPAIRS.

Nickel-Buttons sewed on While You
 Wait.
 You will readily guess what mendin3 bureau is IL is n place where the tat tered and torn may lay up for repairs, where the elusive button may be fastened in it's socket 90 tight that it stays there for the rest Of his natural lip, where he that hath Il torn lining to his over coat may have n new lining put in it's place or the old one brought to proper frame of mind, where lip in the coat sleeve may be doctored in genunely scieD- tific style, where the right sort of .reat- nent is administered to all sort3 end con litions of dilapidated garments.
 A reporter stood in front of a big jew elry store, wondering if there really were ''great rcuuatious in watches and dia- nionds," wh5n he encountered an &C., quaintancc of erstwhile seedy but present dap"er appearance.
 live just been toN N-nending bureau" said this worthy, As l feel like new man. Tho lining O. l coat had slipped its n.oorin44. and every time put on the coat i swore new and attractive oaths. There was fringe on my trOuser legs. My cuffs were pinned on. My pants were supported, oaly by shoe string and piece of clothes line. SuspendCr buttons 1 had none. TLere were only two buttons 1 :; my vest, and l kept it on with a bent | hairpia. If l had sneeZed hard I should haze stool pantlcss and forlorn before 6 ! gaping. ibinL world.
 1 OFFICIATING GOOD ANGELS. ' ''Whila in this sorry plight l found this morning a circular of the me"ding bureau ! It was sent to ne by some special dispel- | hation of pityiug providence. I went to | the mendin, bureau and stayed twerfy | minute. They did not repair me con- | ,:lete!y-. fer 2:n 2 modest n.an, and the | officiating angels are Ill of the gentler sex, but my cont lining is in q staSe of perfec- ton that fills me with admiration. My | cuffs are now properly attached to their | buttons. My vest dsp3ys d Coodiy array | of buttons upon is f"caie am going 1 home, where 1 shall go to bed and send boy down to the meadIng bureau with those articles of apparel, the meudinG of | which cannot well be done in my pres ence," anl so saying the mended and | happy man vanished.
 l The reporter felt his external raiment l all over, but failed to find anything for | t!.a mending bureau to experiment upon. | Finally he hctnoucht him that there vas | but one button on the back of his Prince Albert coat. What do they have those two buttons on the back of coat for, | anyhow? The absence of one Of .he duo | of buttons had caused the reporter much 1 annoyance for several seeks. IL detracted from the symmetry Of his figure, and caused him to walk lcT sided. Relief | was at hand. The reporter sought the 1 mending bureau. As yet it consists of single good sizcl "noT, light and airy, | and containing sewing machines, work tables and chairs. Two or three middle l aged Indies aLi three 1r four young ladies l pa saatGI lgy.r rfta 1.r1sfly- y1lHiue, the needle. One was threading q needle, nnd she performed that intricate opera | ton so quickly and neatly that it made the reporter cnvOus as he recalled pas. | struggles of his own. 4 tall yoTng lady l with an amused expression ill h>r eloquent dark eyes asked the blushing repctte-
 -ha. he wished to have nendcd He It. strained an inclination to say that hIs heart had suffered compound fracture,
 and coyiy explained that another button
 on his coat tails was the esseD1i-l to his
 happiness. The young lady smiled anS
 asked the reporter 10 remove his coa:.
 Being an unmarried u.an, unused to
 feminine society, he i.lushed like q red,
 red rose; then, remembering with glad
 ness that he had put on lis pink striped
 shirt in the morning, he took courage,
 took of his coat and accepted a preferred
 chair. The othe: ladies kept on sewing
 ana pl-u 10 hL -eHJlUn to tLe CuSI | TIE CONVENIENT BUREAU.
 There were two other customers in ths room, both minus coats. One was having a button sewed on his shirt cuff, and the other had his coat up for repairs. The ladies sewe;l rapidly, and the three con- tracts were soon completed. The re- porter was assisted into his coat by the .all, dark eyed young iaGy. This alone was worth the price of admission, and Ave cents was all that was charged for the replacing of the button, for which the assurance was given that it would stay as long as the coat were worn.
 We have no regular scale of prices as yet" said the Iaanageress of the establishment, ''as the mcnding bureau
 has oniy been running few days. It is
 the first institution of the kind in the
 west, though there is one in New York
 that has made good deal of money. We thought that there was a demand for Q | bureau where the uending of underwear
 couid be done with neatness and dispatch
 Single gcntlcmcr. will appreciate the con-
 venience of bureau where their clothss
 nrc looked after in good, homelike way.
 Ladies who ere overburdened with the
 cares of housekeeping will also find the
 bareau convenient, and we expect to have
 considerable trade from people who visit
 ihe city and stop at the hotels. We in
 tend to make arrangements whereby for small sum pail weekly or monthly wo
 will keep wardrobes in good repair. We
 all do quick work and when we sew
 button on it stays there every time"
 The reporter realized fully the truth of
 these statements. There are careless
 mortaIs who would quite as leave have
 their r7rments in bad repair, but they are
 in the minority. The great majority will prefer to have their clothes kept in order,
 and if they have no women folk of their
 own to do that sort of thing, the bureau will be q full fledged boon to them The
 alarming of stockings will be special ben
 eft. The average man, who has no one
 to do his incnding, now wears a pair Of
 socks two or three times, and then throws
 shedl away total wrecks, rent asunder and
 worn through by the disastrous processes
 of laundries. Here at tie bureau socks ccn
 ce alarmed at low rates, and money will
 be saved the wearers thereby. Altogether.
 The bureau is an institution that neit1a
 ,ncour sgaz.ls.as --l ;hicago Herald.