Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-07-06

An" remarked Mr.. Quilp, but women
haven't the play Of intellect that men en-
Joy"
Quilp. "Woman's intellect works"
why have you got such a bare neck.
Mummie@"
I'm going to a dance, darling. One
has TO dress like this for a dance"
do the aides dance In one room and
the gentlemen in another. Mummie?"
Bacon-Did you see Hooker when he
came in from hshing%"
Egbert-Yes; | was on the float.
Was there any fish lying about him"
mo; he was lying about the fish"
Jimmy-Aunty! Auntyl \ great big b-
cycle rider run into uncle down street.
Aunt Sarah-Th' ole fool. He must
n-bin practisin' his Fourth D July speech.
II viii work night ans day 10 make you
happy" he aid
No" she answered, ~thoughtfully.
don't do that. just work during the
day and stay home at night
Miss Youngun-The regents Of the
State University have abolished the de-
gree OF bachelor OF letters.
Miss Oldun-I am so pleased TO hear II;
II I had my "a l would abolish bache-
IoTs entirely.
1T was this way: He came UP To me
and shook his fist under my nose and said
] had TO fight"
And you DID,
"Of course l didn't. Do you suppose
there Is a man on earth who could get
me TO do anything by saying l had TO do
IL? Any mar who expects me TO night
has to say 'pleass'"
Ieacner-lc-.ry rs what Is a root
let?
Tommy-I-I guess it Is where a Teller
don't take much interest in the game and
roots kinde easy like.
Dukane-what is the Order Of Cincin.
natl. Gaswell?
Gaswell-I was never in the town more
than two or three times, but then ]
gathered the impression that the usual
order was beer and bologna"
Mrs. Poorman-This money question
seems to be getting very bitter. How dc
you feel about II. dear?
Mr.. P~oorman-Bad enough. Really,
I'm all broke up.
What do you publish a paper for. I'd
like TO know inquired a politician of Q
country editor.
For 81 a year in advance. and you owe
me for four years" was the reply.
Statistics prove that nearly two-thirdl
OF all the letters carried by the postal
service Of the world are written, sent to
and read by English-speaking people.
Hush he whispered. with q warning
gesture. isn't that the night watch
mans rattle?"
mo. Mr.. Sampson" replied the girl
suppressins a yawn; that's the CIR
grinding coffee for breakfast"
II understand that a fellow has te
know a lot to get into Office under the
District government" said the youns
a
"Y-e-e-s.' replied the old employee. "It's
Pretty Girl-rm engaged to Mr.. de
Shy.
Envious RIVAL am astonished.
II thought you would be-"
Yes. Everybody said he was sc bash.
full that only an experienced widow could
bag him."
You know, dear" said Miss Dolyers
frankly. to her accepted sutton, ''yor
know We get none Of papa's money while
he lives"
1T quite understand that. my preciou.
pet" replied the young man. with the
light Of love in his eyes. w will invite
him to live with us. put a folding bed ir
his room. and hope for the best"
Harry. here are three apples; now sup
pose l wanted o to divide them equally
between James. John and yourself. how
would you DO IT."
"rd give them one and keep the 9th
ers."
"why, how do you make that outr'
We'll. you see. II would be one fo'
those two, and one for me, too
Corporal = When approaching you,
horses from behind you must call out te
them, else they will kick your thicl
skulls, and the end Of the story will 81
that-we have nothing but lame horses
I'm the squadron.
a good idea for him to know considerable
nrovided he doesn't tell any of it,"
Landlord (apologetically)-This elevat
or seems 20 run a little slow just now.
Question, that's all right. There's 9
clerk on board with one Of the guests
bills