The Wilmington daily Republican. (Wilmington, Del.) 1890-1902, 1895-11-07
MleaLiswoarn AND Ins IADDsH.


eAo'norsn nousos Ancn follower tne
driving rains and the leaves, IN sodden
masses, packed themselves closer and rem
dered the guttors quite obsolete.
What was the surprise Of Mrs. wiggies-
worth on looking out Of the window 20
soc her husband taoking up tho street un-
der the Encouraging weight of q 30 foot
ladder. His hat was damned severely on
the back OF his head, an angry light played
upon his features, and his wife could read,
even at that distance, that all had not
gone well with the ladder. Even as she
gazed, with amazenent browning her Wis.,
age, the autumn breeze caught at ono end
of tho ladder and thrust 10 about. 30 that
Its other end picked of the bonnet and top
hair OF o woman who was on her way TO
the pcstoffioe, and who instantly emitted
startled scream, whereupon Mr.. Wiggles-
worth whirled the ladder around just In
the nick of time to project 10 into the
stomach OF n fat gentleman, whose breath
II instantly shot out OF him with a loud
WOOL
Mrs. Wigglesworth could easily discern
these particulars, and her imagination
supplied the language of the fierce alter.
cation that Immediately ensued. Full of
kindly interest for her husband, she rushed
to the front door.
why, Ellery" she cried in a voice
charged with sympathy, "what have you
got theref"
what ye s'pose 1t isf' retorted Mr..
Wigglesworth, who at that moment had
the ladder involved in the gate where ii
caught in seven or eight different places
Mt once. "Think it's soda fountain,
don't yer Looks like a horseless wagon
prob'lyr"
81 SEQ that it's a ladder" said Mrs.
Wiggleswortb in o plncating tone, "but
what are you going TO do with itp'
"What does anybody do with a LADDER"
snarled Mr.. wigelesworth, MASKING
picket out of the gate, and then, as the lad
der suddenly fetched loose, staggering vio-
lently into the yard and poking out a cell
lar window. "Going TO use 10 to sift ashes
with. of course. wha'd ye s'pose got 1T
for, to wear to q masquerade ballf"
Throwing the ladder to the ground
and kicking IL once or twice as relief to
his feelings, Mr.. Wigglesworth pulled his
necktie of his shoulder and took O critical
survey of the house caves.
First thing, /" he said whom his breath
had got to playing regularly through his
lungs, sis to hist the thing up"
"You want to get right under 1t and
keep pushing" suggested Mrs. wiggles-
worth.
'That's IT," returned her husband,
Eye hit IL first time. How to Find
Out Things by Mrs. Wigglesworth, for
the use of wives who want Co make home
attractive In spite Of themselves"
Grasping the ladder at one end, he raised
it above his head and walked slowly under
1t until Its weight became excessive.
"Catch hold here, can't yer" he cried
"Want to see the thing fall and cave In
my head2"
Mrs. Wigglesworth promptly lent assist
anoe, and the instant her husband felt the
relief he took down his own benumbed
arms and ceressed them. Mrs. Wiggles-
worth endured the burden for a few brief
seconds and then, with a loud cry, dropped
her hold and jumped away. The ladder,
Gathering downward, soraped closely to
Mr.. Wigglcsworth's ear and nearly broke
off one of his shoulders.
When he had recovered, they called the
hired girl. Mrs. WiRglesworth was shown
how to rest her weight upon one end of
the ladder, while Mr.. Wigglesworth and
Imogene should begin at the other end and
by slow progression raise 1t against the
side of the house.
"Lifti Lift" grunted Mr.. wiRgles-
worth to the hired girl. "Don't leave IL
all for me TO dol"
Its beginning to lift at this end,"
called Mrs. Wigglesworth in agitation,
well, hold 1t still, )" bawl6d her hus-
band.
~ can'tl' screamed Mrs wiRRlesworth,
and then, to her horror she felt herself
slowly rising from the ground.
MIR. Wigglesworth and Imogene, having
penetrated beyond the center of gravity,
acted as u fulcrum, and the longer end of
tie ladder, following the law of physics,
trailed DOWNWARD, lifting Mrs. WiQgles-
worth at the opposite extremity. The
weight pressed awfully upon Mr.. Wienles-
worth, but he dared not loose his hold for
fear it all might come down upon him In
disaster. Then he noticed his wife.
"Got off that ladderl" he yelled. "What
We doing up thereP''
"I-I can't help It, ElleryI'' screamed
Mrs Wiggles9orth, gripping Tremendously
at tho rounds. "Oh. do let me downp'
"Let ye downu howled Mr.. WiCeles
worth. nHow We s,pose Pm stopning yep
girl, who, with eyes stonily set in her
head, held nlofs q pair of red arms that
never WINGED nor faItered.
Staggering about In this pninful fash
ion, a seesaw motion was oommDnioatei
to the ladder, and Mrs. Wiagiesyyorth bob
bed slowly up and down like an old fash
toned pair of steeIyards.
"Quit that teeteripRIn sbouted Mr.
Wieglesworth, the veins of whose neol.
were getting ready to burst and RIM an
over his wiited COLLAR. s.Wbat va think
this is. n uameP Reckon tia n SUNDAY
school picnic. don't vaY''
Those observations seemed to BIO forced
out of him explosively, as he trod up and
down the soegy lawn. People going by
mao 10 stop, astounded TO see man and
woman balancing ladder above their
heads FOR no ostensihie reason and another
woman boboing away upon one end OF 1t
and screaming. A crowd OF these people
now lined the fence, and some of them
oven volunteered adyina