The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1895-01-19
HILLICAN BEN AGAIN,
He Goes After the Farm
er,s Friend.


I bid you a very hearty welcome,
Farmer Friend, for I did suppose
my fate was like the ground hog
that saw his shadow, to crawl into
my hole of seclusion. Your coming
Is timely and portentious, with
surplus of produce and no market
but the editors sanctum, but with
al am rather glad of your appear
ance, little on the right side not
withstanding your faults In criti-
cism. l would rather suffer con-
tradiction than endure silent wags,
for many great men have suffered
reverses for their expressions and
convictions and stamped with
brands as Adventures and cranks.
The first dash you have cut is a
charge entered against the Logan
merchants en- masse and the ar
raignment. If true, Is grave
charge, that should excommunicate
them, or else prophet, like Jonah,
should be sent to preach to them
that Farmer Friend would take his
produce to other markets if Logan
didn't have reciprocity. What say
ye to this charge, merchants of Lo-
gan? Guilty or not guilty? Your
silence and antiquarianism bear
fruit of semblance against you, To-
Gated as you are in lovely, healthy
country, surrounded on every side
with inexhaustable resources of
mineral with fine grain and graz
ing lands with water powers and
railroad facilities, and not a COM
mercial town so that our Farmer
Friend has to drag his produce to
other places in order to get any
thing for it, and he says there has
been panic in that place, and he
expects it to ever exist. How can
a panic reign in a place where moth
ing ever existed, pray tell me, for
he says you can't get anything in
Logan for produce, nor never could,
hence there never was a market
there.
You want the remedy pointed out
how to make q market. First, I
will answer that by figure. Why
didn't Noah refuse to build the ark
till the water was furnished to float
it, or why didn't the earth bring
forth grass before it was created? :?
Are these not as sensible sugges-
tions as yours? Is it not evident
if Hooking county has the foresight
to make these needed improve
ments she has, also, the skill
and capital to take advantage of
the opportunity, and say she has
not the love of gain is migratory,
composing land and sea for filthy
Iucre, e,capital will come for induce
mont. Farmer friend, your propo-
sitions submitted betrays short
sightedness throughout. You are
not of New England birth. It is
wrong of you to openly condemn
and expose your country and neigh
bors as you have done. You admit
that you take your produce to other
-markets-you don't patronize home
merchants and home industries.
l don't wonder you feel panic is
on you and your theories will keep
Hooking county in the same old rut
of panics as of yore. You intimate
that Hillican Ben is new beginner
at farming-a novice. How do you
know? I said nothing about the
manner and kinds of farming in
connection with good roads and
markets. You are not logical, and
either you or the U. s. Agricultural
department are mistaken, for I am
reporter for that department and
have been for years.
Again, understand that you as
sociate my honest efforts with a
glosery called something like cater
ing with the fair sex. Well, 1 am
grieved that l am past the period
to consumate and appreciate fllir-
tations in u rollican way. But 1
would prefer being goose under
the Improvement plan than the
Falstaffian initiation to the period
where Farmer Friend stops at.
Women, like good roads, is an inn
provement over man, and they are
made to love, and you find a man
that don't have heart to love a
woman and / will show you man
that hasn't dollar for public i'm
provement-not bite of bread to
feed the hungry. Adam tried to
live without woman but his heart
was always sad till he welded Eve.
But if I am not deceived he is a
bachelor If the hardest cast, and his
penurious and hogish propensities,
with feminine aversion. have shut