The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1895-06-21
"No sah The cullud post belongs to
me, sab
Itwas not till he had stepped out and
seen the barber's sign that the customer
saw the point. nt.-Indianapolis Journal
The Horses Hone,

Young Horse-Nothing but work,
work, work. I've a great mind to COM
NIT suicide.
Old Horse-,Have patience. When you
are so old that you can walk, you'll be
advertised as suitable for a lady to
drive, and after that you'll live in ease
and luxury.-New York Weekly.
UNCLE DICK OGLESBY.
Two Characteristic Stories of the Genial
Ex-Governor of Illinois.
think it was during the Cleveland,
Blaine campaign that Ex-Governor
Oglesby Of Illinois, "Uncle Dick" as
he is fa1niliarly known, first made stay
of any length in New York.
He and a companion had sumptuous
luncheon, ordered of course by the intro
ducer, who wound up by inviting the
governor to smoke. The clerk at the ci-
gar counter handed out some fine Havana
cigars. Uncle Dick was about to take
one, when some thought arrested his
hand, and he asked:
"What's the price of these?"
twenty-five CENTS" was the reply.
"Holy smoke!" calculated the govern
Or. Put 'em back! Put 'em back,
quickr'
"But, governor, this is my treat
said his friend.
"Daren't do it. Daren't do it! Put
'em back I"
Yes but governor
"I tell you l daren't do it. Why,
man, if they should ever find out in H.
a
New York, they'd turn me out Of the
church, and it would ruin me politically
forever Daren do it! Ten cent cigars
are good enough for me in New York
and cesters at home. -
Uncle Dick always prided himself on
his success in campaigning when called
upon to reach man s vote through his
family pride.
On one Of his tours he passed through
3 country town in Illinois, when he
came suddenly upon a charming group
"a comely woman with bevy Of little
ones about her-in a garden with high
picket fence in front of it. He stopped
short, then advanced and leaned over
the front gate.
Madam" said he in his most in
tiful children''
Certainly, sir, the lady answered
demurelv, "theTe is no possible objec-
tion -
They IRE lovely darlings," " said Un-
Gle Dick, after he had finished the elev-
enth. 81 have seldom seen more beauti-
full babies. Are they all yours, marm?'
The lady blushed deeply.
"Of course they are-the sweet little
treasures. From who'll else. marin, could
they have inherited these limpid eyes,
these rosy checks, these profuse curls,
these comely figures and these musical
voices?'
The lady continued blushing.
'By the way, marin, said Uncle
Dick, may bother you to tell your
estimable husband that Richard J.
Oglesby, Republican candidate for gov
ernor, called upon him this evening?'
Alas sir, quoth the lady, II have
no husband.
'But these children, madam-you
surely are not widow"
l fear you We're mistaken, sir, when
you first came up These are not my
children. This is an orphan asylum !''-
Exchange.
Montrond.
Raikes asked Montrond once if i,
We're true that Louis Philippe gave him
a pension. EIe answered, eyes, 10000
francs year for sic.: ng we'll of him
in the clubs and in Lrgi giaillt. Montrond
before his death Went tEr2l.yh the form
Of a conversion and made his peace with
the church When the priest asked him,
"You probably i'll old times uttered
many pleasantries against religion:"
mo-" said he coldly, Il have been ac-
cused, and justly accused, in my life
time Of many vices. I have never been
accused Of being an imbecile. F"
Montrond was an inveterate gambler.
One day he had a quarrel with some
4 people he had been playing with at
cards. He flew to Talleyrand in a state
of great agitation. Would you believe
it, said he, "they threatened to throw
me out of the Window" Il have al
ways advised you, said Talleyrand
very quietly, "never to play cards ex-
cept on the ground floor. '-Sau Fran
cisco Argonaut.
1t is supposed that the average value
, of furniture per house in the United
Kingdom is about G1G0. This estimate
includes the valuable pictures, plate,
horses and carriages, which are appen
dages of the more pretentiOus establish
ments.
Lobelia also called Indian tobacco, is
known as Il common herb often growing
as a weed in many parts of tie United
) States
wer atect TT G Cov't r eDOrf