The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-04-28

81 had a narrow escape from being pois-
oned"
"Aiasl Possibly you took bite at your
own tongueF
This fell like a thunderbolt on the Wis
eomte, but as 1t was told all over Paris,
IT was good lesson for very notorious
backbiter.
For this week / shall use one told by
that clever Fitz Williams, In his mono
logue. A ventriloquist and his dog, a bull
pup, properly, enough named Beauty,
were stranded IN a western town. For
two days they had had nothing to eat.
Then the vesntriloquist concluded that
they must have their dinner. lie went
into the dining room Of the best hotel lie
seated himself, and the dog sat on the
floor beside him. A polite waiter took
his order but. as he started Tor the Kitten
en-, was surprised to hear the dog say:
whats the matter with putting the
bill of fare in front Of me2''
Scarcely knowing what he did he held
the menu in front of Beauty, who said:
Bring me bowl of broth and bone.
The waiter flew into the kitchen believ-
ing the devil was after him, nut brought
back the dinner for the ventriloquist and
the broth and bone for Beauty. Then
he sought the proprietor. Trembling with
excitement he said come right down
into the dining room: there Is the most re-
heard ola talking dog. You ought to
buy him, he would fill the house. The
dialogue; The ventriloquist asked; We'll,
Beauty, how do you like your brothF
Beauty answered: THE broth is good
enough but the bone amt up to time;
but, never mind. wen soon be back 10
New York" The proprietor said to
the ventriloquist: i've got to have that
dog" The ventriloquist shook his head,
and said "Oh no: I'm 10 fond of Beauty
10 sell him, and / wouldn't let him go
for less than a thousand dollars; The
eager purchaser got the thousand dollars,
and handed It TO the ventriloquist, but to
his surprise, Beauty said: Look here, old
man have you sold meg
The ventrilOquist said: Yes; got a
thousand dollars for you.
you are no friend Of mine" announced
Beauty, If you let me go for that little
future I'll never speak id word"
Tableau. OF course, j shan't use the un-
pleasant word. but 1 tell the tale now as
A woman I known is going TO tell this,
which to me has slight odor Of marron
glacee. sim, l may be mistaken. A lit,
saying her prayers. One night, when she
was very sleepy she only said: God
bless papa and mamma, and all the neigh
borhood and deliver us from all our re-
Is II true that dotage and aneedotage
means the same thing2 Some people say
they do but If that is the case, the elder
1y woman is decidedly 10 the fore here,
for anecdotes are given vogue they never
possessed before. 1t is difficult to know
which are chestnuts, but commend me
to a group Of women friends to freeze out
the teller of old tales. They haven't even
the qecehcy 70 pFetehu " AduBut siey looh
straight at the unfortunate soul, and in
that look they combine WEAKNESS and
scorn, 50 that for the rest of her natural
life that woman becomes listener. II
you don't believe me. go to a ladies lunch
con That oft-described festivity which is
never as rollicking as the newspapers
make &c out to be Women are too much oc-
cupied as a general thing in deciding who
made the bodice worn by another woman
which decision Is reached by the perfec-
ton OF it's back seams, to be very jolly. It
fs claimed nv those who know, that only
a French dressnaker can evol a perfect
back and only a woman whose back Is
perfect goes without wrap and kneels
for very long time IN church. rms was
told me by a sister woman, and from her
iudement-the general sister woman i
mean-of our frock. Of ourselves, Of our
homes and of mankind, We need 20 nave
"a specfal litany asking to be delivered
And when Il Is properly phrased am sure
II will be eagerly adopted by all the world
OF women as well AZ by lad