The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1895-09-22
INCOMPETENT, IaRELEvANr. ETC.

INCOMPETENT, IRRELEVANT. ETC.
Someone with a masculine chiro-
graphy and signing himself .'Subscrib-
| CT. writes to the Eagle to know what
IS the origin of law. and what its great
potency is. Before going further into
the matter We will say frankly that we
do not know except this far: Law IS
| an enactment. Courts are established
TO determine how the law shall be con-
strued. Courts consist OF the Judge or
judges, a clerk, a stenographer. the
baiilff, a jury and the members of the
bar. Every member of the bar is a
part of the court. They accept among
custom or established laws, certain
rules which must be obeyed.
1t may be in this circumstance that
the potency of law turks. This sub
scriber says he has been closely watch
ing the unprogreSSive progress of the
liquor trials here in Wichita. He says
he is of an argumentative inclination
himself, that inclination having been
fostered industriously for the last fif-
teen years by his wife, who is some
pumpkins on argument herself. He
declares he went TO the court Tor the
express purpose Of determining how
lawyers conclude their wrangleS. He
had never understood how, i'll cases of
great and bitter controversy, tie at
tOrneyS on opposite sides could re-
frain from walking into one another
and settling it by physical force. After
watching the court for a few hours he
says he came to the conclusion that he
had discovered the potent actor which
kept the wrangling from drifting into
an exhibition of physical force. He
noticed that when one attorney did
not like the remarks of the opposite at
tOrney the first attorney said: lob
ject. Incompetent, irrelevant and inn
material and not the best of evidence"
These few words, he says, seemed
to settle the whole matter. and under
their spell the court moved along
smoothly. No matter how bitter the
dispute or how acrimonious the charge
when the charmed words: ''IncOmpe
tent. irrelevant and immaterial" We're
pronounced the clouds cleared away
and the bright sunlight of peace broke
in and flooded the court room.
He went home, he says, completely
convinced that all differences must
fade away before those magic words.
SO absorbed and entranced was he
with the witchery of incompetent, ir-
relevant and immaterial' that he for
got all about the loaf of bread which
his wife had asked him to bring home.
According to his story, when he reach
ed the front door she asked him if he
had not forgotten the bread. She
asked it in a Sneering manner, too.
He squared himself and said: ''Object.
Incompetent, irrelevant and immater-
ial."
For a second she was baffled and he
beamed with the success of his first
legal experiment. She then wanted
to know if he ever remembered any
thing in his life. Still smiling he told
her that that was also incompetent,
irrelevant and immaterial. She then
squared herself and told him that he
had gone clean daft, and threatened to
call in a policeman. This he said, with
the same cool, legal smile, was incom-
potent, irrelevant and immaterial.
Then she went for him. She brought
up his family history, raked his grand
mother over the Goals, charged his
mother with murder and his sister
with theft, and still he smiled, and re-
peated that it was incompetent. irrele- |
want and immaterial. He felt that he |
had discovered the potency of success |
full wrangling. To another assault on |
his family name he was reiterating |
the objection that it was incompetent, |
irrelevant and immaterial and not the |
best Of evidence, having nothing what |
ever to do with the loaf of bread, when |
the counsel for the plaintiff, his own |
wife, 80 this Subscriber" says, grab
bed broom and caught him one along |
side the face At the same time she /
biffed him another in the eye and ram
med her foot into his stomach and
knocked him down, put her foot on his
neck and damned the broom into his |
face. She then asked him TO apologize.
He says he did. We expect he is
right. Now he wants TO know what
the law has in preventing
violent ends to bitter wrangles. We
don't know