The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-07-09
new OHIO GOLDBUG.
IKE HILL RETURNS A CONVERT
TO THE YELLOW METAL.
IF His PARTY Declared for Diamonds He
Would Promptly Become a Full Pledged
Diamond Bug.

ssNo. I'm a goldbug now, SAID Col,
Isaac Hill, of Ohio, to a Post reporter.
From now on I wear a yellow jacket"
Col Hill shook his head in the fashion
of one giving himself up to sad yet
sapient retrospection.
1--WE been a Democrat in Licking
! county, Ohio, ever since I was born.
Every night of my life I've said
"'Now I lay me down to sleep
-"by the side of the Democracy. I'm
what you call a veteran Democrat, a
silver veteran, at that. l stood by the
organization when it was part of the
daily life of Licking county Republi
cans to shoot at wandering Democrats,
and I never finched or failed. And
then I supposed we we're for silver.
But it's all changed. I've just returned
from a meeting of the Ohio State Dem
ocratic Central Committee, of which
I'm a member. We got together at the
Neil House in Columbus the other day
-twenty-one of us; one from each con
g%ressional district-and since then I'm
for gold.
Il went there for silver, and out of
the twentyo one members I only found
four for silver where there should have
been fourteen. I made 'em a speech
and declared myself, but I couldn't
turn them. So I went with them. I'm
for gold now. I'm old, but you cant
lose me, Charlie You can't get by
your Uncle Isaac in the dark"
Here Col. Hill assumed an air of
profundity.
What did your State Central Com
mittee doc"
I'VE decided to hold a convention at
Springfield August goth and 21st," re-
piled Col. Hill. Il wanted it at Column
bus. The goldbugs wanted it at Toledo.
There were eight votes for Springfield
and I gave 'em the four votes cast for
Columbus and that beat Toledo"
"I changed four votes from Column,
bus to Springfield I said, after we'd
voted, and I'd Q the cat jump. This
would give Springfield a majority.
"'What authority has Mr.. Hill to
change four votes9" asked one of the
Toledo ducks.
"'Never you mind my authority 1
said, shaking my finger at him like
this. Never you worry about my au-
thority. You can gamble I've got the
authority all right, and that's enough
for any gum shoe goldbug to know
But you should have heard the
speech l made 'em in executive session. "
Ill ask you about the speech later"
said the reporter. WAS Senator Brice
there9"
NO." replied Col. Hill. Senator
Brice was in New York But his PEG
pie were there. We had Walter Richie
and that man they call the Bob Flush,
and a lot of others"
Why do you call him the Bob
Flush7"
Because he never beat anything in
his life," retorted Col. Hill. "Well,
Walter Richie and the Bob Flush were
there for Brice, and they used to get an
armful of kilograms from him every
hour. I'd see them with their kilograms
and say ecornfully, What does he tell
you to do9" It made them tired. In
executive session l fred off a speech.
1t ives 9 s'Zz suorter. You have mingled
in agriculture in your boyhood- Were
you ever present on some gala occasion
when they accidentally fed the monkey
wrench to the thrashing machines
Well, that's the sorto aspeech Imade.
I told them you"
80 you're for gold now?'
Il am" replied Col. Hill, firmly.
your Uncle Isaac HILL will hereafter
befor j4undiced currency. Why, what's
the use? We are helpless beneath the
: rule of the money power. Crush usG
Ny boy, they car crush US by wire.
Yes, sir; beat US by telephone. They
did it in Ohio the other day.
| And look at Kentucky. I So " Sena-
tor Pngh since I returned and he said,
speaking of Kentucky: Don't mind
Kentucky, Ike. That little wrestle be-
tween gold and silver didn't decide
anything. 1t was only a dog fall
Dog fall!' continued Col. Hill, a
trife wildly; "dog fall! Senator Pugh
may be able to call that cataclysm in
politics a dog fell; but to my mind you
might as well call the fall of Ce ar a
l dog fall When they turn down such
men as Joe Biz ckburn your Uncle Ike
can see the hand writing on the wall
without an opera glass. I know when
to put up an umbrella as we'll az any
man In Licking county. and you listen