The evening times., 1895-08-16
variesated Chats.

II n W0Al knOWu ula6 tne bftOns dp'
probation of American humor is not marked
by any great amount Of keenness, case
In point occurring at the Rittenhouse Club
the other day says the Philadelphia Record.
There is a young Engtshnian stopping in
Philadelphia who makes his headquarters
there, and one morning he overheard
one OF the members ask another how he
felt "Oh, out of sight," was the Response.
The EDglshnan made a mental note OF
this, and determined to get II off himself
at the first opportunity. The next day hc
met friend, who offered the usual sali-
tatioD. The Eng hshnian's face broad
ened into grin. Striking an attitude, he
exclaimed: "oh, you cawD't See me, old
chap, you cawD't see mel"
The Lion once summoned his councillors,
the Ass, the Fox, and the Monkey, and in
quired what reform was most urgent in
the Animal Kingdom. -
II suggest. said the Monkey. with a wise
smile. that your Majesty eat all the young
lambs-their morals are not what they
should be- ef,.-i -a......s..i
And l." quoth the Fox. would eat the
sheep as well, for It's they set the bad ex-
ample"
Then the Ass. in his rooI's cap and bells,
said, Take my advice, o King, nd eat
only tine fat ones; the lean may even 60 free,
be their morals good or bad"
At this the Lion roared with delight,
saying, verify in the mouth of an ASS
is wisdom. But what, gentle knave.'' ne
added. "shail we call this reforn?"
"FOrsooth Sir" answered the Ass."..we
will call it a graduat ted taxr'-Pail Mall
Gazette.
That a tender heart often lies beneath
ragged coat was well illustrated by q
little incident which attracted the .tte1,-
tion of number uf pedestrians near Twen-
tieth street and Montgomery avenue, yes
terday morning. says a Philadelphia pa
per. A happy tot was crossing Montgom-
cry avenue. with a tri-colored penny
kite trailing behind, when5 the string
broke and the frail paper TOY fell in the
middle of the street. The child was about
to return in order to pick IL up, but feared
to run the risk Of being run over by a
catamaran-a high-wheeled truck used to
haul stOne-which was coming down the
avenue. drawn by long line of thirteen
horses. and carrying a block of stone
weighing perhaps five tons. The driver,
big, rough Irishman, noticed the child's
dilemma, and, thinking perhaps of a little
one of his own, halted the cavalcade, and
beckoned to the youngster to pick up the
precious kite. Still the child hesitated,
seeing which, the driver left his horses
and handed the toy to its owner. The by
ISLANDERS smiled, the child laughed and the
Irishman shouted, Git upr'
W. W. Scott came near being bitten by
rattlesnake last week while on his way
to the forest to chop some wood, says the
Dahionega (Ga Signal Just as he went
TO cross rail fence he happened to look
down before he placed his foot on the op-
posite side. Had he not done so he would
soon have rested on a big fOur-foot rattie-
snake. To say that Bill was sea red doesn't
express il. He jumped back crossed the
fence at another place, and with a stroke
that would have killed an elephant severed
its head from its body burying the axe deep
into the ground 1t has made quite a change
in Bill Next Sunday he was AT the church
house long before anybody else arrived,
and when the minister appea red and finished
his sermon Bill didn't wait until the cortri-
button basket WAS presented to him, but
went up voluntarily and gave freely for the
support of the ministerial cause.
withstanding Uncle Charlie Besser Is
S5 years OF age. he is always up and doing
when anything comes forward which he
thinks will benefit the town, according to
the Atlanta Constitution. He was the first
one to subscribe anything to the Dahlonega
n fl.I Lem ia
very much enthused over the matter. and
says that he feels like he will live hong
enough to ride on this road yet.
At Glenaltl the children and grandchil-
dren of Mr.. and Mrs. Newton Harris met
the old people and spent Il very pleasant
day. There were forty seven children and
grandchildren on hand. and as there was a
travelling artist present. the whole group
was photog raphed. Uncle Newt Harris
has seen his three score and ten, but Is stout
and Jolly and can do more hard work
than half th- young men of20.
A veteran, who testifies that his age is
lO5, has applied to the State for q pen
sion, under the INDECENT pension act. He
is W. A. Kipat rick, and his home is in Bar
tow County.
There are three negroes in Lee County
whose com bined ages aggregate $40
years.
ErAr, 0Do~ tho n-o.A