Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1895-06-21
HERE n THERE.

4A1s IL d great crop season., re-
marked a farmer to me this morning.
Probably the greatest growing weather
which has been experienced since this
country was settled. Out our way we've
never seen anything like it. Everything
on the farm is strictly on the grow, ex-
cept the lumber wagon, and we had to
put that in out of the rain to keep the
axle-tree from sprouting. Th' old lady
left her switch hanging out of the win
dow a little last night, and this morning
there was a whole grove of willows in
the middle of the cucumber patch. My
old sorrel horse, who's been kept thin
carrying around a 500 chattel mortgage
for three years, stood out in the storm
the other night and gained $50 pounds,
and my game roosters are growing the
finest lot of ostrich feathers this side of
Australia"
"There's no doubt at ALL" he con-
tinued, hitching up his trousers with a
throat latch, and taking a deep breath of
pure air, "that this soil of ours is the
most wonderful on earth, when it does
rain. There's bark a quarter of an inch
thick on the shingles on the new barn
we put up last month, and tomatoes
which we put up last fall are eproutin
10 the cans on the cellar shelf. Taln't.
goin' to be possible t. raise any navy
beans this season, cause they're all COM
in up Limas, and they won't grow any
smaller. We set out some cabbage plants
With willow props, about a week ago,
and the willows grew up a foot in the
night and pulled the whole lot of 'em
out of the ground. Wheat's got so we
have to keep the children ricketed to
keep 'em from gett;n' lost in it, and the
other night we hunted till nigh 10 o'clock
to find the old brindle COW, who strayed
into the potato patch, and wore herself
clean out tryin' to find her way back TO
the house."
He stopped a moment to take breath,
and continued, "First year, too, that 1
ever saw horns grow on a mooley COW,
but they're dom it this time. I'm look
in to have to dehorn my saddle stock
most any day now, if they happen to get
caught out in a shower" he added, re-
gretfully, "but I suppose we can't have
everything just right, and to suit us.
Another trouble We have, too, is with
our fences. We have to get up every
morning and let each of the wires down
about a foot, and then saw the posts off
that much at the top, they keep CROWN
so. A neighbor O mine left his for a
week, while he was off on a visit, and
when he got back the posts were about
twenty feet high, and all the loose stock
on the prairie was runnin's into his corn
field right under the wires.'
cts a great CROWN year-g1eater'n I
ever saw" he concluded. "Of course,
it's a little i~nconvenlent to mount a step
ladder every time you want to clean the
cut worms and bugs off your potato
vines, but it wouldn't do to have every
thing just as we want it, so I won't kick
on buyin' a few extras, till the rainy sea-
sons over, and we get to harvestin'."
Then he went away.
There are amusing incidents in the
lives OF even the most melancholy of
men. Each day adds to the collection
humorous anecdotes in existence, and
some of them which I have noticed in
the past few days are worth publication.
The first n is a joke by Treasurer Tay-
lor of South Dakota. While he was
lunching on milk toast at the Palmer
House in Chicago few days ago, a news
paper reporter approached him.
"Do you expect to refund to the state
the funds which we're borrowed tempo
rarlly for your southern trip, Mr.. Tay-
lor?' asked the reporter, atfabIy.
"Oh, yes" answered Taylor, winking
across the table at Attorney General
Crawford. 81 shall pay the entire amount
in time"
The joke here lies in the fact that the
time referred to will be put in at Sioux
Falls-two years at s175,O 900 a year.
The reporter went his way quite
pleased.
One day, while President Cleveland
was fishing in the bay, a violent squall
capsized the boat, and he aoundered
helplessly in the water, when Secretary
Thurbur ran wildly up to the beach.
"What would please you most, Excel
lency" he cried, across the raging
waters, wringing his hands in despair.
"a buoy responded the president,
family.
Secretary Thurber burst into such
loud and prolonged laughter that the
president, greatly surprised, stepped out
upon the beach and dried himself.
Secretary Hoke Smith one evening
sat doubled up in his velvet arm chair,
swearing %profusely, when Postmaster
General Bissell stepped into the room.
"Oficial trouble, Hoke?" he queried,