St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1895-07-15
CURB AND CORRIDOR.

|, Cal Stone is an inventive genius and
always filled to the brim- with some
good stories. But he does not want
any outsider to invade his sanctum
and arrogate to himself the exclusive
| privilege to spring" a story, either
old or new. So he has hit upon a new
plan. The unwary story-teller, or the
hapless fellow who thinks he can
crack joke at the expense of Cal.
soon realizes that he has made a mis-
take. Cal has a neat contrivance ar
ranged under his desk, which is moth
ing less than a huge coWbell, with
mournful sound. AS soon as the caller
springs his joke, the cowbell starts in
at a slow gait, which increases with
every stroke of the bell, as it is so
arranged that the momentum in
creases constantly. There is no appeal
until friendly hand stays the racket,
and nine times out of ten the victim
seeks safety in fight. 1t won't do to
fool with Cal
Col Lamont's visit to st. Paul gave
rise to a good many storytelling
seances among the timers about
the hotels. Col. Grace, one of the
established features about the Mer-
present secretary of war a great many
years ago, at Poultney, N. Y. And in
this connection the ST. Paul man tells
that Dan Lamont, as a boy, had the
failing of so many of the worlds great
men. He was the dullest boy in the
school, and, apparently, unable to mas
ter the alphabet. Later along he ap-
pears to have struck his gait, how
ever, and today he is doing quite well.
Hon. P. H. Kelly told Lamont q
story on his predecessor, Proctor. of
Vermont, that will be new to every
body, probably. Away back An the
! late sos Mr.. Kelly, Mr.. Proctor and
two other gentlemen-all young and
robust in those days-found themselves
at Litchfield a Cay or so before the
Fourth of July. They had missed the
boat, but wanted to get to Minneao-
oils. Kelly suggested that they build
raft, and at once proceeded to put
the suggestion into execution. One
man was sent to a saw mill up the
river after some plank while Kelly
went and corralled a, couple of logs.
When the plank arrived they were
nailed to the logs; some cracker boxes
were put aboard, commissary stores
secured, and the four started off. One
of the voyageurs was dated to deliver
Fourth of July address at Winona,
but he gave up all hope of getting
there shortly after they took to the
river. All went we'll until the morn
ing Of the Fourth, when the raft
caught on a boulder in the RAPIDS and
would not float off. There they were,
as Mr.. Kelly says, between the sky
and the land and over the water, but
with a good chance of going under.
Then it was that Proctor produced
wallet containing s., 900, and said:
kelly, if l drown 1 want YOU to
take care of this
But Kelly wouldn't have it. mo.
Mr.. Proctor" he said, you'd better
keep your money, for I'm as likely to
be drowned as you are, and if any one
found me dead with so much money
about me they might hide my body
for ransom. But I'll get into the
water and you go to the other end of
the raft with our friends here When
L say ready, throw all your weight on
that end, and I'll try to push her
clear The plan was tried and the
eyes of the veteran twinkle as he
tells of the scramble for life there was
on that raft when he tilted it clear of
the rocks and sprang for safety as it
Slid Off. But Proctor saved his money
and his life" says Mr.. Kelly, "and
we got to Minneapolis in time for the
Wind-up Of the celebration"