Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-01-24
An Exciting Scene.
MIR. TIBBs HANGS OUT THE CLOTHES

|
1t was windy day. Washing
days are generally windy unless il
happens to storm, which it is quite
likely to do.
Mrs. Tibbs lifted her hands from
the suds, and felt of her crimping
pins to make sure that none of them
had slipped out, for the sewing so.
ciety met that afternoon, and she
wanted to look well, and she re.
marked with emphasis that "shs
wished to heavens that it didn't al.
ways blow like sixty on washing
days !" And she added, as a mete-
geological fact, that cit blowed last
Monday, and a week ago last Mon.
day, too !"
MIR. Tibbs was reading an article
on the tariff, the writer of which
had proved conclusively to Mr..
Tibb's mind that if the present tariff
continued the bottom of all things
would tumble out inside of six
months; and the paper he had read
before breakfast contained an arti-
Gle which had shown him just as
clearly that if the existing tariff
should be changed, creation would
go to everlasting smash in the
twinklIng of cats tail.
Tibbs scratced his head, and gave
vent to his perpleXed state of mind
by exclaiming, Wall! by jinby
l don't see what man can do ~
"1'll tell you what to do" said
Mrs. Tibbs, whirling the clothes
wringer round with a will as she
ground out the grist of Tibb's shirts
and drawers into the clothes-basket,
"you go and put up that clothesline
and hang out them clothes. The
wind blows enough to take woman
right off her feet"
Tibbs rose reluctantly. All men
dread the clothesline racket. 1t is
trying to the masculine nerves.
Tibbs put his hand to his back, and
volunteered the information that he
"guessed he was going to have an
other spell of lumbago into his
spine."
Mrs. Tibbs was not in the slightest
degree interested in Mr.. Tibbs'
gloomy anticipations, but went on
wrestling with the clothes wringer
and spattering the soapsuds in every
direction.
Mr.. Tibbs put on his hat, buttoned
his coat, tied his neck up in a red
muller, and shivered. "Seems to
me-" he remarked, "that feel a
touch OF that old sciatIca in my hip
joint"
"Now you put that clothes-Iine up
tight !" said Mrs. Tibbs, entirely ig-
noring his observation. "Last week
the sheets dragged on the ground
and l had to rinse 'em over! Pull
it tight. Mind the hooks don't come
out of the posts! BE careful of it
where it it's tied. Put up the oldest
part of the line under the pear tree
for the towels, and don't go to hang
ing out them clothes in none of your
slipshod ways, Tibhs. Hang all the
stockings feet down. Put Annie's
flannel petticoat in the sun. and hang
it square. Pull therI tablecloths out
around the hens after you get 'cm
on to the line. Pin the col0red
things on with them oldest clothes.
pins, for they'll mildew the white
things. Hang that ragged sheet un.
der the shirts SOS the holes won't
show. Folks is allus staring at a
clothes-line. Put that embroidered
night-gown of mine next to the
street. Mind, now, and not set the
basket SOS it'll tip over"
And in the midst of it Tibbs went
out, with a bag of clothes-pins and
the line in one hand and the basket
balanced on the opposite hip, and the
water which the wringer had not
squeezed out running down over his
leg in little rills. There had been
some snow, and then, by way of va
riety, there had been some rain, and
then it had frozen, and the footing
was exceedingly slippery and inse
cure. Tibbs soon found that beyond
a doubt that passage of Scripture
which tells us that "the feet of thu
wicked stand on slippery places" i.
true. He had great difficulty in pre-
venting himself from going dowr
the side hill, where the clOthes-postE
were located, faster than he wanted
to. or course the line was full O
kinks, which Is family trait o
clothes-lines, and Tibbs skinned hi
hand by pulling the line through
them to get out the kinks; and whel
he got mad and banged the board
on which the offending line VIA
9 wound, against the woodpile, h
, barked his knuckles and tore off on
corner Of his thumb nail.
I Mrs. Tibbs and her cousin, Sail,
| Green, who had dropped in for
s morning call, were looking out O
! the window to see how he was get
r ting along, and they both laughed q
his mishap, and said that was jus
q like man.
Mr.. Tibbs got desperate. He too
his pocket knife and severed the lin
:, in its kinkiest part, and having tie
t up one piece OF it, he began to han
up the clothes. He had his mout
y full of clothes-pins, just as he ha
o noticed Mrs. Tibbs always had he
J. mouth on such occasions, and h
J. slapped the clothes on to the lin
with will.
Up flew the kitchen window, an
d Mrs. Tibbs stuck out her head.
h "Turn that shirt t'other side up
Don't hang them sheets by the corr
ers! Put the towels on that oil
n line Don't hang them fam,
l. drawers of Toms up by the legs
II Pull out that edging on Mary Ann
skirt! Look out, there! you'y
stepped right into the clothes basket
u What fools men are! knowe
'r you'd make a mess of it! / wis
I'd hung 'em up myself, if / ha
't blowed to Guinea in doing 1t -