The morning times., 1895-08-11

them to a poor stenographer at very
cheap rate of pay. Some of them are, all
the same, quite conscientious, and do the
work personally.
JUST AS A SIDE ISSUE.
Some of the men whose names appear on
the rolls are not the recipients of all the
cash. 1t is said that some newspaper
men, for the privilege it gives them of
getting on the floor of the Senate, have
their names on the Senate rolls, while
other folks get the pay, or very large
proportion of it.
Senatorial courtesy includes the appoint
ment of brothers, sons and daughters to
positions ia the north wing of the Capitol.
Some committees are quite family affair.
1t is said that when the Democrats needed
the Populists to vote to reorganiZe the
Senate two years ago one Of the Populists
had three relatives in Senate places and a
promise of several others.
This was the time when the Republican
clerks to committees groaned and stepped
down and out The dominant party always
has the high grade clerks and the latter are
already beginning to calculate on the chances
OF the Republicans getting control of the
Senate next December. In that case nearly
all the high grade, So 500, and So, 220; and
Sl44O Democratic clerks Will be fired, and
reduced TO the ranks now held by ma
jority OF the Republican clerks.
HOPE FOR THESE.
The Republican private secretaries who
are nowlaboring along manfully at 81 ,20Oa
year doing nothing, viii be promoted to the
first-class places and the Democratic clerks
viii take reef in their high salaries and
live more in their committee rooms than in
the Senate restaurant.
The pie counter OF the Senate restaurant
is where the Private Secretary is at his
best To see him in the act OF the deglu
tition of Pages famous aplpe Pie one would
suppose that he had merely stolen few
moments from labor and loane ed them to re-
freshments.
Whenever you see young man without
| his hat at the pie counter he is a secretary.
| If he is alone he is not clerk to the
| dominant element. He is III the economic
stage. He used to get perhaps, from $4,000
| to $4,000 and now the Democrats or the
! Republicans, as the case may be, have re-
| duced his pie allo vance to a measly 500
! month.
But on the other hand If you see young
| man at one of the tables in the restaurant,
who speaks to every other young man who
| comes in, he is a clerk in clover, and you will
| be sure of that If there is young lady or
! two at the same table. He recks not of
| the day OF reorganization and be blows him
| self to pieces, especially on the 9th and end
! OF each month.
Nothing in what has been said is intended
| TO convey the idea that the Senators do
| all the drinking. On the contrary, many
poor 81, 900 clerk has been driven to drink
| to while away the lonesome hours between
| pay days.
THEIR REAL USES.
Well, then, hypercritical people will
ask. has this genus, SUI generis, no use
or occupation at all? Oh, yes, but they
have. They are buffers and bumpers and
! the most accomplished prevaricators out
side OF a lady offashion. He stands bet ween
his principal and unbidden guests i'll the
! committee rooms.
Sometimes cranks have TO be humored,
and applicants for office have 10 be en-
tertained, cocktails have TO be brought
down into the subterranean vaults, where
some of the Senators have their committee
rooms and where they do their Pharisaica
! drinking Most Senators, no weyer, do
| not stand on ceremony or subterfuge when
they want a drink. They as frequently go
right straight to the bar as to the private
| Senatorial lunchroom or 10 their COM
| mittee room.
The thousands of people who ramble
! around in the corridors OF the Capltol IN
the terrace, catch glimpses in the summer
time of young men in their shirt sleeves
seated in the committee rooms with their
feet on the tables and the cigarette In
| hazy evidence.
Heis full OF himself and appolinarls lem
onade He does not buy this delicious
beverage 1t was manufactured summer
before last by the sbarrelful. Bottles o1
it went down to the committee rooms In
| pursuit of Senators who fled from the
thunder and lightning of incessant debate
over nothing That was where Me and
| Napoleon" got together and kept cool, coy
and quiet until the electric bell sum-
moned the Senator to call of the Senate
or for q yea and nay vote.
EIGHT HOURS LAW OBSERVED.
No secretary has ever complained that
his Senator ever compelled him to work
more than eight hours a day. Senators
who have no very important committees
stroll down to the Capitol about IL O'Clock,
and get away as fast as possible. The sec
retary then sh-i.s up the shop, and the busi-
ness of the d'y over.
In this way letters accumulate, and
some fine day the Senator finds that he
has TO answer a great many of them or
anger his constituents.
4 a Senator swore one day that he wouid
devote twenty-four hours to catching up
with his correspondence.
He dictated three, each of which con-
tradicted the other, and finally said
"Ob Smith, answer all of them you
can evasively and politely and III attend
to the rest.'
very good" said Smith, and when
the Conscript Father retired Smith put
the whole kit into the waste basket.
Next day tie Senator said
"Well, Smith, my boy, how did you
get along with that mess?'
.I answered them all. I put the last
one of them in the basket, and they re
gone, l find, this morning"
The Senator first got mad as hornet
but after awhile, thinking it over, he
said: "Smith, that was very clever
solution of the difficulty. 1t was linpos-
sible to answer them in any other way.
THIS is REAL WORK.
In some very extreme cases, where an
apology is absolutely necessary, the Sen
ator will dictate to his secretary some
thing like this:
"Dear Madam. Owing to the prolonged
illness of my secretary" ETC., etc.
The secretary grayely writes THIS out,
and away it goes, and as soon as IL mas
gone he goes upstairs to take a prolonged
remedy for his racent nrotracted spell OF