The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1895-09-25
All Sorts of Paragraphs.

All Sorts of Paragraphs.
- Car the new woman sharpen a
pencil
- The successful borrower is full Of
touch and 60.
= Opportunity, sooner or later,
comes to all who work and wish.
= An Illinois farmer owns hen
which lays twin eggs every day.
Some men are so lazy that they
kick when the fish bite too fast.
- The old maid usually loves des-
perately, because it is often her last
chance.
= If you can bear all your small
trials you will never break down under
your great ones.
Now it is the bicycle woman who
has to wait while her husband COM
pletes his toilet.
No man performs his vows unto
the Lord who is careless about filing
his promises to men.
- Give a young man heap of mon
ey and no education, and you have
made his ruin certain and sure.
We are always complaining our
days are few, and acting as though
there would be no end to them.
There is a man in Missouri
whose feet are so large that he has
to put his trousers on over his head.
A Mississippi woman who chews
tobacco and drinks whiskey thinks
that women have all the Fright" they
need.
Greigersville, KY, is the birth
place of boy who was an inveterate
tobacco chewer before he was year
old.
=" "First love-" said the elderly
man, meditatively, "is good deal
like mug of soda water. Each fuzz-
es up mighty lively for about min
ute. :"
The rice crop of the State is very
fine and full. Unless a sudden storm
floods the maturing crops the rice
farmers have a good thing, for the
prices keep up well.
= Ethelberta Gin runaway carriage)
oh ! Tom let us jump-quick. Tom
Qeisurely)-'Twould only be the
trouble for nothing. We shall be
thrown out in minute.
From all accounts Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy is Godsend to the
afflicted. There is no advertisement
about this; we feel just like saying it.
The DEMOCRAT, Carrollton, Ky.
For sale by Hill Bros.
= Paper, indestructible by fire, has
been invented by NJ. Meyer, of Paris.
A specimen of itwas subjected to Sc
yerc test-148 hours in potter 6 fur
mace and came out with it's glaze almost
perfect.
"A young man, % years old,
weighing 1876 pounds, died at Fortune,
Humboldt county, CAL, recently. He
was six feet two inches high, and his
immense bulk was symmetrically dis
tributed.
= In Burmah it is the woman who
does the wooing. Not only does she
select her own husband, but when
she tires of him she procure divorce
for the asking Of it and marries a
new.
"A New York company expects to
bring out in Few months an auto
mobile" or self running carriage, suit
ed to American roads. These horse
less vehicles make speed Of about
Is miles an hour on good road.
Since the United States govern
ment was organized, less than 9CM;
people has served as United States
senator's, while of these more tAsn2OO
had previously been members Of the :
house of representatives.
"Pa," said the small boy with
the large head, "teacher says the world
is round" eyes, my son. "And the
minister says the end of the world is
coming. Now, which Of 'em is telling
the truth Z"
"What terrible thing it is for
men to know all science and yet not
understand the spiritual arithmetic of
the words: What is man proited
if he shall gain the whole world and
lose his own soul p
- American bicyle factories expect
to turn out at least 100000 wheels
next year, and this will mean proba-
bly, half million new wheelmen and
wheelwomen for 1896. The man who
walks is in danger of becoming curl
osity.
- An Atchinson young man says he
had heard all his life that pretty girls
were not as agreeable as homelier
ones, and believed the remark was
due to envy. However since he has
formed the acquaintance Of a lot Of
pretts girls he is convinced it is true.
The homely girl is a more reliable
friend and a jollier companion.
= The Bessonette method of COM
pressing cotton was invented by
Texas man. AS the cotton is ginned
it is rolled out in bats and wound
around steel cylinders with heavy
pressure so that the bale when COM
plete is as hard as wood. It needs no
hoops or bagging to hold it. 1t is
covered with heavy duck to keep it
clean. 1t is fire proof.
"You must have had an awful
long sermon. You are half an hour
later than usual" said Colonel Yerger
to his wife, who had just returned
from church. "Why, I thought the
sermon was very short" replied Mrs.
Yerger. "Did you have your new hat
on for the first time ?" eyes, dear"
"Ah, that explains it. No sermon is
too long to a woman under those cir
cumstances.
In Arabia there grows "laugh-
ing plant" 1t takes its name from
the effect produced by eating its seeds.
The natives dry these seeds and reduce
them to powder. A small dose Of the
powder has similar effects to those
arising from the excessive use Of
intoxicants. 1t causes the most sober
person to dance, shout and laugh with
the boisterous excitement of a mad
man