The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1895-01-16
All Sorts OF Paragraphs.

taste.
Every woman believes that she
would be better appreciated if. her
husband had to put up with some other
wife for time.
= The longest distance letter can
be carried within the limits of the
United States is from Key West, Fla,
to Ounalaska, 6,271 miles.
Happy is that man that Gates
only for hunger, and drinks only for
thirst: that stands upon his own, and
lives by reason, not by example.
"You have bad cold," he said.
"I have" she replied huskily. ~
am so hoarse that if you attempted to
kiss me couldn't even scream"
= Brown-"Is young Flyingwedge
practicing law ?" Jones-"I think
not. He was admitted to the bar, but
think he's practicing economy
- The paupers in Japan number
less than 10000 quito a population Of
38,OOO,000. 1t is considered dis
grace to be an idler in that country.
"What is it, Lizzie, boy or
gal p "Augal p "Dear, dear me
There's someone else who's got to
worry about gettin' husband
= The Odd Fellows, Knights Of
Pythias, and Sons Of Temperance are
now placed by the edict Of the Pope
on the same basis as the Masonic
order.
| Use often noticed dat de man who
keeps poundin' right erlong in de mid
die OBJ de road an doan' stop toe pick
flowers ebery little while am dc man
dat wins.
"A little girl, busy working pair
Of slippers as a birthday present for
her grandfather, said to a little play
me "Ahl You're well off, you are;
ye granddad has only one leg!"
:" "Talk is cheap observed the
man who believes in proverbs.
"Humph!" replied the man who doesn't
'That remark shows that you never
hired lawyer or rented a telephone
= Ralph-"Suppose fellows best
girl gets mad when he asks her for a
kiss?" Curtis--"Take it without
asking" Ralph-Suppose she gets
mad them" Curtis-"Then he's got
some other fellow'sssgirl.
-"Do you love me, mammal"
eyes, my child" "But not SO much
as love you, I am sure" 'Why
not 2" Because you have to divide
your love between me and my two sis
ters, while I have only one mamma to
love-
-Daughter-Maw, I want you to
stop bossing'paw until..after I get mar
ried.- Mother-Why, I should like to
know? Daughter-Just as quick as
I get little bit intimate with young
man, they begin to ask..if I take after
you.
-"What won tthese city women do
next, 'Smanthy? What's I'll this talk
about umbrella skirts ?" "I never
did see man yet, silas, that didn't
make fool of hisself when he took to
talkin' about wimen's fxin's. Com
mon sense ought to have told you they
raised them skirts when it rains.
= The lady was making some re-
marks about the kind Of clothes some
other ladies at church had on. "The
finest garment woman can wear,"1
said her husband, "is tbs mantle Of
charity eyes" she snapped, "and
it's about the only one some husbands
want their wives to wear.
Detroit, Mich, has within it's
limits what is believed to be the larg-
est representative of the horse family
| now in existence. The animal is 9
Percheron-Norman, and was imported
from France before he had attained
his full growth. AS he stands to-day,
he is 81 hands ga inches) in height,
and weighs $500 pounds.
From the stamp duties paid by
patent medicine makers it has heen
estimated that at least 100000 pills
are taken by the inhabitants Of the
United Kingdom every week. In
France the quantity is about half.
Only about 100000 pills are taken
weekly by the people Of Russia. The
largest pill takers in the world are the
Australians.
An Irishman, having been ar
raigned and convicted upon full and
unmistakable evidence of some fla
grant misdemeanor, being asked by the
Judge if he had anything to say for
himself, replied, with the characteris-
tic humor of his country, "Never
single word, your honor And it's
my real opinion there's been great
deal too much said as it is. J"
: The well-defned spiritual life is
not only the highest life, but it is also
the most easily lived. The whole
cross is more easily carried than the
half. It is the man who tries to make
the best of both worlds who makes
nothing Of either. And he who seeks
to serve two masters misses the bene-
diction of both. But he who has
taken his stand, who has drawn a
boundary line, sharp and deep, about
his religious life, who has marked off
all beyond as forever forbidden ground
to him, finds the yoke easy and the
| burden light.