The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-31

bin Sharon, Pa The office and barruom
were one and the proprietor was the czar
Of the valley. yIe was known as Dutch
Jake and formerly was section boss on
tho c. e. r. road. During that time the
following story is told of him: The divi-
SION superintendent. learning that cow
lad been killed on Jake's section, wired
him to bury 1t and report He received the
following: "Division superintendent.
tsr'e, Pa. Der cow VIC killed yesterday
alnt dead, and besides It wasn't the en-
gine that killed her. She died from eating
buckeyes. Jacob Hansen"
DEVELOPED EARLY;
Woman TO tramp)-"You arc q very
young man to be professional tramp"
Tramp--|'Yes, madam but I was bright
child. I began drinking beer before was
soven."-Philip WEIGH.
DEDICATED TO BARNIE:
There is pleasure In life where with action
tits rife,
When the air thrills with motion we care
not for strife.
IT'S a struggle to rise; true enjoyment we
KNOW
When merrily down the toboggan we 60.
And here, after all. Hes the charm in base
Let pennant-ambdtious weak mortais en-
We have rooted and slid; but we'll never
be slow,
As merrily down the toboggan we go.
-WashinEton Star,
VERY FEW STOPS:
Joncs-"I hear that you have a good
organ at your lodgings. Do you know
how many stops 1t has2" She-"Only
about three day. and those are not long
ones" s."-Boston Globe.
At the Paulist church uptown in New
York there are inches in which the twelve
apostles stand, six on each side of the
main entrance. They are carved In gray
stone and their halos. being Of the samo
material, present q singularly uncclestial
appearance. But not until % small girl
viewed them from passing car did the
sanity crowns receive truly modern des-
ignatlon. Mamma" she plped. ''who arc
those menu "Those are the apostles,
dear ST. John, you know, and st. Peter
and the rest" "Oh" said the child. pom
derinE for a minute. Then she added med
itatlvely: what makes them wear their
sailor hats 30 far back on their headsT
THE RAILWAY MAID:
The train was crowded when she came
A maiden rosy sweet;
/ did not know her face nor name,
But gave'her half my seat
She took It with assumed delight
And tossed her silken curls
So roguishly, an anchorite
Might love SO rare Il girls
Assemblage of soft sorceries,
Which she knew how to show,
And was glad, entranced by these,
To find the train SO slow.
She said she was not travelling far.
And twirled gorgeous fan:
Thrilled by so luminous star.
! was a happy man.
gathered from her facts of note
And found her heart as free
AS an unsailored skiff afoat
Upon tossing sea-
On every theme, severe or light,
Some fit word she could say;
She knew each town that came In sight,
And all things on the way.
At length her journeys end drew near,
And we should have to part;
I told her, In tone sincere,
That 1t would ,grieve my heart.
And when she rose to leave me there,
quite dismal and alone,
She seemed to me more sweet and fair
Than.I should like to own.
She said unto my frank regrets,
Thanks for your words and sigh,
But you'll be soon forgetting me"
A haze came in her eye.
"Dear friend" I said. "your words are
(Once more she twirled her FAM
II should soon be for getting you
We're l single man."
--Blasius' Monthly
This mild bit of repartee is reported as
having occurred once between the poet
SAKE and Oliver Wendal' Holmes. They
We're talking about brain fever, when Mr..
SAKE remarked: II once had severe at
tack of brain fever myself" How could
you have brain fever?" asked Dr. Holmes.
smiling. ut is only strong brains that
have brain fever" How did you find that
out?' asked SAKE.
The Philadelphia Record is convinced
that art is funny thing. In the students
exhibit at the Academy of the Fine Arts,
10 o ,hor. pf pIa CT,
which, as everybody knows, represent
nude figures of both sexes. drawn from
living models On Thursday evening the
members of the Epworth league, then in
convention In the Quaker City, held re-
ception in the galleries. During the after
noon q committee visited the academy
for the purpose OF making the necessary
arrangements, and appeared to be greatly
shocked at the life-class display. A re-
quest was made that the pictures be re-
moved from the walls during the hours of
the reception, which request was promptly
granted At the appointed time the gal
leres were filed with young men wearing
white ties, and demure looking young
women. Some word of the pictures must
have reached the latter-possibly some of
the girls had strayed into the academy
during the afternoon. At any rate they
were visibly disappointed. isn't It too
bad" one OF the young women was heard
to whisper to q companion. "The mean
things have taken 'em down."
RHYMES OF THE TIMES:
where are you going, my Indian maid?''
Back to my tepee, SIR" she said.
MAY go with you, my pretty maid?''
my brother will AK you, sir" she said.