Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1895-05-30
DOLLARS IN SKUNKS.
An A. B. G. Lesson in Finance

Editor Register:
The following Is conversation
overheard in one of the cloak rooms
of the House OF Representatives be-
tween Populist Congressman elect
from Kansas and New York repre-
sentative:
Kansas-"Are your people inter-
ested in the money question:"
New York-'Yes, and great many
of them think there is not half enough
in circulation to do the business of the
country"
Kansas-'I am surprised; that is
exactly what my constituents think,
but had supposed that you Eastern
ers were all gold bugs, and wanted
less money instead of more.
New York-"Well, there has been
some change of sentiment in that
direction in my village. You see
we've got literary society there that
has been giving entertainments for
the benefit of the village library.
Some of its exhibitions didn't prove to
be very attractive, and instead of maxi
ing any money got behind, and, cast
ing around for a way out of its trouble,
1t was found that old DIR. Nc OF
- College had lecture on finance
that he would deliver for $50. Tbs
price was low, the cause popular, and
as the people were all interested in the
money question,it was thought to be a.
good idea to hire the Doctor, make a
special effort to rout out a good audi
ence and liquidate the society's indebt-
edness So the Doctor was engaged.
and on the appointed evening the hall
was packed. The President of the So
ciety introduced the speaker, who
took the floor and delivered himself
of the following:
"Ladies and gentlemen: This SUBJ
ject, finance, is one that I've given q
lifetime of study to. l have written
several works that have become text
books in the schools and of recognized
authority, so I think know some-.
thing about the subject | am not q
rich man, nor ever expect to be. For
many years 1 have been supported by
my college, and suppose I always will
be. And thus, having neither money
or the want of it, am an unprejudiced
witness. I understand this matter
thoroughly myself, but to make it.
clear to you, like the sleight of hand
performer, need confederate; so if
you will send up from the audience
some one with money in his pocket Til
make it so plain that children can I'M
derstand it.
Charley G., the Populist leader of
the town, elbowed his way through the
GROVE. and got upon the stage, and the
speaker said to him:
young man, have you got any
money! Charley said he had fifteen
dollars.
"'Where did you get it?' he was
then asked. And Charley told him
that he'd just sold ten skunk skins at
81. so each. The Doctor then asked
him who he sold them to, and he said
to a man that came along buying furs;
and on being Intercepted as to where
the buyer came from and went to, he
said he came there from the first town
to the east and went on west buying
peltries. The Doctor then asked hing
if the man wanted to buy more wheR
he sold him the ten skins, and Charley
said he did; that he would buy all ht
could get.
essay, said the speaker, why didn'e
you sell him more? and Charley told
him it was because he had no more.
The orator then turned to the audi
ence and said:
"'There, ladies and gentlemen, lies
the whole question in a nut shell. There
Is wide diversity of opinion about the
amount of money required to do the
business Of the country, and what the
per capita circulation should be; some
think it should be at least seventy-fve
dollars, some fifty and others think
that twenty-five is about right, but
everybody agrees that it should be,
more than fifteen. 1t is then perfectly
clear that this young man has not got
as much money as he should have, but
the fault appears to lie, not in any
scarcity of money, but rather. in the
paucity of skunk skins. This money
is like pigeon that fieth where it
listeth, and has no respect for per-
sons, State or National frontiers, po-
litical or geographical divisions.
Where the mast is, there also is the
pigeon. So say to you wherever the
skunk skin is for sale, there also is
the dollar to buy it with. Good even
ing And the orator we'd paid $50
to thus dismissed the audience and
the subject. Well, some Of the peo-
pie were disappointed, but I've no.
ticed ever since that there $ great
deal less talk about finance, and more
trapping for skunk going on "
Kansas-"Some folks think they're
cussed smart. IF. NJ. Todd in Friend"
ship IN. W Register.