St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1895-08-02

stand on his head so nice. May |
stand on my head ?"
Mother-"It is not nice for a little
girl to stand on her head"
Fanny with a sigh)-"Then sup
pose I'll have to wait until | am
big girl."- Boston Home Journal.
Cousin Rob was exhibiting a
new photograph of himself, when
Stella on seeing the picture said:
"Oh. Cousin Rob, let's take it in
the other room and scare Carrie. -
Philadelphia Times.
All Smiths There.-They tell story
in Dalton OF recent revival meeting
in one of the rural districts of Whit
field county. In the middle of the
services the preacher said:
"Will Bro. Smith please lead in
prayer?"
Seven men arose and began pray
ing at once.
This embarrassed the preacher and
he said hurriedly:
II mean Bro. John Smith !"
At this announcement one sat
down and five more got up and be-
gan praying. The preacher saw his
mistake, said nothing and let the II
pray it out among themselves
From the Atlanta Constitution.
Advance Notice. We are contem-
plating publishing volume contain
ing 1 $685. 01 sure ways to extermi-
nate flies. While we have not per-
sonally tested the efficiency of every
one of these recipes, we have been
solemnly and gratuitously assured
by persons of responsibility that each
is the only one which never fails.
The book will be of such size that,
should none of the recipes give salts
faction, 1T can be used to smash the
pests Individually, with no further
exertion than lifting it over them
and dropping it.-[From Truth.
Mr., De Peach is exceedingly fond
of good story, ISM he p II should
say so. When he gets Ole, he never
parts from it, Washington Star.
Mistress-''Why do you bring back
that prescription instead of the med
icne ?" Maid" Because | couldn't
read it and didn't know what to ask
for."-[ Fliegende Batter.
"There's one comfort" said the
philosopher, when his wages were
reduced, when I'm laid up sick, now
| shan't lose so much money. BIOS
ton Transcript.
Could Improve on It.-Mrs. Norris
WHATS the matter, Robby are
you choking?' Robby (feeIingly,
with his mouth full of bones )-"Say,
mamma; I'd like to build just one
shad p Puck
"Well," said the good-natured man
as the friend OF former days left the
room, Pm 81 ahead on that trans
action" why, he borrowed dol
lar" "Yes, but thought he was
going to ask for five. y Washington
Star.
Poets who sing of "shoreIess
sea" leave nothing in their magma
ton for the waves to break on and
for shi ps to arrive at and land whale
oil after a long voyage = New Or
leans Picayune.
A country bridegroom, when the
bride hesitated to pronounce the
word obey" remarked to the Office
ating clergyman: GO On, measter-
it don't matter, can make her. -
[ Tit-Bits.
1t is natural for woman to re.
sent the imputation that the # minint
mind is not SO strong as the mascu
line, and this spirit of independence
was early manifested in a schoolgirl
living in a Massachusetts town
She had, too often, perhaps, beer
made to acknowledge the superior
ity of her brothers. One day hel
mother remarked upon the apparent
utter lack of intelligence OF a hen
you can't teach hen anything,
she said. They have rnined NOR,
of the garden than a drove of cattl,
would. You can teach cat, dog OF
pig something, but the hen-never !!
Him u exclaimed the child indig
nautly, II think they know just a.
! much as BOOSTERS. YOUTH Com
1, panon.
: ~ think" SAID the cheerful idiot
that it will not be long before thu
A fellow who was arrested for tn
A murder of that man Saturday will b.
, convicted"
do you think he is going to con
= tess ?" asked the landady.
5 ooh, no. said the cheerful idiot
q II base my idea on the fact that tn
D confinement in prison may tell o,
D him. - Indianapolis Journal.
Why" asked the philosopher
e why, is it that a man-the mobiles
e created object why is it that a MAJ
d should have such doubts of his abili
+ ty to win woman's affection, whel
he considers the success in that lin
OF pop-eyed, pudding-shaped
pretzel tailed pug dog?' But tn