New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1895-03-31
THE Talk OF THE DAY.


The other day, when prim. precise NewEngland
professor sat down to dinner in d Southern hotel,
three walters in quick succession asked him II he
would have soup. A little annoyed. he said to the
last waiter who asked rs it compulsory"
mo. sah." answered the waiter; mo sab. think
It mock turtle"
A. Matter of Mere Patience.-"well" said Mr.:
Sorkins, i've quit worryn' about the fate OF the
country and the destiny OF our present social sys-
Have you solved all the prob.ems?'
NS haven't soye ar any Of EN- But mn my qagsh
tier dn asssy pre oon and u well
make my mind easy and ind out al ABOUT IL when
she gets through "-(Washineton star.
The following stanza has been carved on tomb
stone in Burlington. Iowa:
Beneath this stone our baby lays.
He neither cries nor hollers;
He lived just one and twenty days
And cost us forty dollars.
There Is a pretty sharp point in an illustrated
soulb in The Harlem Life" A well-dressed lady
and gentleman. the lady with bird on her hat. are
walking along a country road On branch OF
tree sits an oriole with several young orioles by
her side And as she sees the lady she Is repre-
scented as saying: Look my children! There goes
the monster that wears your poor father"
Thoroughly Experienced ohicia-Yes, we have
room for a few more road guards Had any
hppltcant Observation-Disclosures
wake up! Don tbeallday! steplvely! shakea-
legv'-(New-York Weekly
An attempt is to BE- made to introduce Sunday
baseball in indianapolis in spite OF law prohibit
ing it, enacted in 1885 This leads The Indianapolis
News 10 remark: The managers OF the baseball
team and the officers OF the Citizens company are
among our best and most reputable citizens. Can
they afford to enter upon policy OF deliberate
violation OF law OF the StateT'
Alberta-I believe you call yourself an advanced
woman dear?
Alethea--Yes love.
Alberta (sweetly)-Then you may UP the "d'leI'
dear.-(Judge
THE Boston Transcript" rcbukes the Massachu-
sets LEGISLATURE Tor not adopting the McTammany
voting machine, which :; says is even better than
the Myers voting machine. The owners OF the ma
chine agree to furnish the machines 70 the state
receiving in compensation only the difference In cost
between an election under the present method and
one In which the McTammany machine Is used.
They think that under this arrangement they would
make something like 100000. But. as the State
would lose nothing The Transcript" thinks the
offer ought 10 be accepted
May-I wonder what the men DO at the club?
pamella-From what Jack says. guess they pay
with the kitty Most OF the time.-uiarlem Lie
In THE Christian Advocate" OF this city, the
other day DR.. Buckley called attention to the large
number OF practical printers among the Methodist
Episcopal clergy OF this city and vicinity: 1T may
be remembered" he said. that some years ago we
received a letter from a member OF labor union
not the Printers Misunderstanding that II we d'o
not sympathize with certain strike then In prog
ress the Printers Union would be called upon 70
strike alphabetically. and should not be abe
TO get The Christian Advocate printed. WINS
we had absolute confidence in printers. little
inquiry revealed the fact that by simply Gazing
upon the ministers OF our church In TINS ''e'hS
who understood the printers art We could get 'hs
paper out without difficulty"
Citizen was walking up the street one s aa,A
Night when Man sprung out from Ia.ass,ran's
way and thrust u Sx-shooter In the feues
Face saying: 80. ,,oLe M
Hand over your PocketboOk and don't make no
Il am helpless" responded the Citizen. and WIZ VII.
obey. but first lst me Inquire why DO you eNP'N' "''
Because" said the Man. Oblisnsly as he eb sezel
Party that you do. and our Views on the Iar'h are
tional Politics has to do with local Elections-'0"'
| cago Record.
| In his win the late John Crerar. OF Chicago eA
| cluded French novels and all sceptical trash
| from the great library which he endowed "h''e
his intent Is plain, difficulties in carrying out '"''
prohibitory clause may possibly arise. Under us
terms. for instance, would II b. necessary TO eN-
clude French novels which free from objection
on the score OF morals? For immoral French
novels evidently in the mind OF the testator'
and the force OF the fact Is not weakened py u.
| possibility that Mr.. Crerar may have Thought a'
| French novels immoral. Again, would the pro-
| hbiton exclude sceptical literature that Is NOT
| trash? Probably majority OF orthodox Chris
| tians look upon the works OF kuenen, the great
Biblical critic as sceptcal; but they certainly do
| not fall under the category OF trash.
In the early days OF Montana, says an exchansS
the name OF Brown Of such frequent occnrren1
| Poker Brown" Hog" Brown. Diamond X:
| Brown Log" Brown ''Snagge Tooth ROCKY
! Can Brown, "Whiskey" Brown. Deaf Brown:
The appliance OF names to individuals for some act
resided "Spring Heel Jack Sweet or Bob, sum,
mer House" Charley, "Four-Jaek" Bob .slipIPeryy.
Jim. The latter gentleman was an expert N az
propratins horses not his own. for which onenss
he served a term at the stone fort above winnipeg
good story could be told OF each Of the others
majors. captains judges and doctors were nlA"utuA
-(Iieiena Herald