The herald., 1895-08-26
THE LAWYERS
AND KISSES
Legal Proceedings That
Were Caused by
Oscillation
SOME QUITE NOTABLE CASES
The Kissers Do Not Always See Where
the Laugh Comes In, but the
Lawyers ard Judges
Think They Do


TIE grave and digniflcd members Of the
legal profession appear to derive much
amusement from the subject of kisses,
which comes before them most frequently
in the form Of superabundant supply of
crosses in the letters of lovers when these
are being read-as they never were intend
ed to be-in court, in breach of promise
cases. The learned gentleman who has at
the moment the business in hand Of read
ing aloud one of these wonderful produc-
tions generally pauses when he comes to
the first stop in the gushing effusion,
where the enamored swain has found
words too weak to express his sentiments,
supplying their place with q string of
symbolic oscillations and, with q we'll
feigned look Of innocence, says there is
hero gap in the letter, which the defend
ant "has filed in with a lot of KS" re-
garding the meaning of which some BROTH
er, more learned in these weighty matters,
may perhaps be able to enlighten him.
This some "brother" never fails to do,
saying that If he is rightly informed-he
has, Of course, no personal knowledge of
the matter (winks all round)-these mystic
signs signify kisses In the language Of Gu
pid. Thereupon this mighty, time hon.
ored joke is greeted with the usual chorus
of outlaws, and the interrupted reading
proceeds.
But kisses sometimes make their ap-
pearance in law courts in other circum-
stances, though they never fail to be made
the subject of numerous legal witticisms.
Ho i,,dO hov IT,.
humor-and yet who knows but he may
have been laying down, with all due
solemnity, some fundamental principle Of
justice and equity-who once asked the
plaintiff, who was suing his former sweet
heart for the return of the value of GER
tain articles Of jewelry which he had pre-
sented to her in the happy days of their
courtship, whether he chad ever kissed
the young ladyY' "Certainlyr' was the
reply, as was to be expected. Whereupon
the judge dismissed the action, declaring
that kisses and caresses were full legal
payment for presents given in such cir
oumstances. The obvious moral may be
laid to heart without much difficulty by
present giving young men.
1t happened one day that pretty young
widow, travelling by train fom Louisville
to Nashville, had taken her seat near a
newly married couple. The bridegroom
left his wife for a moment, and when he
returned the train was passing through o
tunnel. He took advantage of the dark
ness to snatch a kiss from his wife, as he
suspected, but unfortunately he had made
mistake and kissed the young widow in
stead. She was highly indignant, and re-
fusing to believe that it was an accident
sued the young husband fo1 81 1000 as
solatium to her wounded feelings and ruff
fled dignity.
There is given as an example of the le-
niency Of New York judges the case Of
man who was arrested for kissing another
mans wife. The sentence passed upon
the culprit was that he should there and
then kiss his own wife, who was present
in the courtroom, which, IS may be sup
posed, he gladly did.
In British law courts 10 has been fire.
quently brought home to offenders that 1t
Is rather an expensive amusement to kiss
lady against her will, but in Holland it
walls in Judicial circles. A young man
who had assaulted q young lady in this
way on the streets of village near Utrecht
was brought before the burgomaster, who
took the matter up, demanding that the
offender should be fined a forin, or, in de-
fault, be imprisoned for a day. But the
Utrecht court and finally the appeal court
at Amsterdam both dismissed the case,
the judge declaring "that to kiss person
cannot be an offense, as it is in the nature
of warm mark of sympathy!" This is
pretty much like the Yankee judge who
dismissed similar offender, remarking
that the plaintiff was SO temptingly pretty
that during the trial he had to keep him
self down in his chair with both hands, he
felt SO much inclined to get up and kiss
her himself.
A stolen kiss once brought the culprit
Into possession of q fortune. He was o
butcher in Sydney and had taken the lib
erty Of kissing one Of his customers, a
pretty girl, who resented the affront and
had him prosecuted for assault He was
fined heavily by the local magistrates, and
the case was commented on freely by the
press. The publicity thus given to the af-
fair happened to- arrest the notice of firm
of solicitors in Sydney, who had been ap-
pointed trustees of some property which
had been left to the man by distant rela-
tive 20 years before, They had failed to
trace the heir, but when his name appear
ed in the papers in connection with the
case Of assault they communicated with
him, and he was able to establish his iden-
tity.
A certain Senior Talca of Valparaiso,
however, had o very different experience
and paid heavily for his momentary freak
Of kissing lady on the plaza without her
permission. She prosecuted him, and the
magistrate, as indignant as the lady, sem
fenced him to go days imprisonment.
This severe penalty Senior Talca considered
himself justified in appealing against, but
the higher court SO far from bestowing
any sympathy on the offender, sentenced
him to an additional 80 days imprison-
ment. The amusing part Of the affair is
that the higher court took 400 days to con-
slider the appeal, and during the whole Of
that time the senior had to remain in Jail.
Even this, however, is outdone by tho
beries Of tribulations undergone by man
who had stolen kiss from pretty girl.
TO begin with, he was brought before a
magistrate and fined. Then he was horse
whipped by the girls brother and harried
into brain fever by his wife The clergy
man Of the district referred to the affair in
sermon and reviewed the case In print,
and, finally, the caterpillars ate up every
blade Of the malefactor's wheat CROP
Florida Times Union.