Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1895-04-20
sprink1es of Spice.

SprinkIes of Spice.
''She's very pretty girl. She is really
immense" ''And she has an immense
father, to oot"-SXracuse Post.
Mamma, see how cold that poor
chestnut man looks! Do give me five
cents so he can earn something. -
Fliegende Blaetter.
Colonel-"Are you one of the 'ad-
vanced' women, Miss Passe?" Miss T.
haughtily) )-"Indeed I am not. was
only % last birthday York
World.
Jimson-"NOw, you wouldn't marry
me, would your Miss Sears Most
certainly not, but why do you ask such
question: Jimpson- -"Just to decide
a bet."-Kate Fields Washington.
Maud-''That Swattles girl is wildly
infatuated with her new chum, that
Molly Jamesby. What does it mean,
wonder?" Madge-"It means that
Molly has a brother. r."-Chicago Record.
She-''I have been listening to an aw-
fully clever man for the past hour"
He-''Then you may find me dull" She
mot at all. One can't stand too much
of that sort of thing, you know. Wife.
Kicksy-"Wife, can you tell me why
1 am like a hen?" Mrs. Kicksy-"NO,
dear, why is it?' Kicksy-"Because /
can seldom find anything where /
laid it yesterday. y."-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
"What has Mrs. De Style done with
the money her uncle left herr" ''She
did intend to build house, but see
she has come out with new sleeves In
two dresses, nstead."-Chicago Inter
Ocean.
Jilson says he does not see why there
should be any objection to woman
entering the legal profession. Nine out
of every ten married men know weu
enough that her word is Iaw-BuffalO
Courier.
First dog-What is that row down
the aisle? Second dog-That's one of
Mulford's pups. He won his first prize
yesterday and his head has swelled so
they can't get his collar oh.-Chicago
Mail.
''How did Ohltimer like the act OF
the lion tamer? asked the circus pro-
prietor 'He was bored to death. Yott
see, he used to be the manager of an
opera company with three prima dom
mas IN Washington Star.
Mistress Why, Nettie, you are nice
girl! What are you doing with two
sweethearts? Maid-O! please, ma'am,
1 have only one. The other only comes
when the one is i'll or on fur1ough.-
Miss Wahbash-Will 1 see you at the
Thornborne's masquerade tomorrow
Mr. Beaconstreet-Yes; L shall go as q
monk 'Oh, how lovely! And will a
hurdy -gurdy man have you on a
string g?'-Indianapolis Journal.
At the Assizes: Judge-Have you
anything further to say? Prisoner-I
should only like to ask that the time
occupied by counsel's speech for the
defense be deducted from my term Of
imprisonment.-Il Popolo Romano.
"What is the correct form for the
opening sentence of a marriage license
when an heiress captures an impover-
ished noblemanT he asked. 81 give it
up," she replied. "Know all men by
these cash presents. Chicago Post
'T am afraid" said the languishing
sentimentalist, "that your being Is not
attuned to welcome sweet spring once
more" Eyes it is,' replied the praci-
cal man. ST took fifteen grains of quiz
nine this morning. g."-Washingto Star.
"BilI Doolan's band has been cap
tured in Oklahoma" remarked the
newspaper reader. "You don't say so,'s
replied the man who pretends to keep
posted, but doesn't "What was Bills
band doing?. Playing Sweet Marie?'' %
Washington Star.
Merchant to clerk applying for sit
uation)-So you speak French and En-
glish? Clerk-And Dutch into the bar
gain. Merchant-We have no dealings
with Dutchmen; therefore will take
one-third of your salary.-Plauder-
ecke.
Mr.. Sharpp-If there were no wom-
en-, the men would have nothing to
laugh at. Mrs. Sharpp-If there were
no women, the men wouldn't want
anything to laugh at. They would
not feel like laughing. New York