The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-03-16
HEARD ON THE SIDE

One Of the employees of an evening
contemporary tells story anent the
coachman employed by Colonel Trun-
bo, the leading Republican politician of
Utah. The colored man came into the
office of the publication referred to and
throwing down half dollar, remarked:
Let me hab fo' papahs, please" Gag
ing at the half dollar with q. vision of
hotel porters on his mind, the attachee
of the office sorted out the sheets, and,
taking out & dime. the rate given the
news stands at the caravansaries.
handed he of the silk hat and brass
buttons back 40 cents. His sable jig
gers loftily passed over another dime
and said with great dignity: st imag-
inc, sab. that yo' are mistaken in the
man, sab. Is Colonel Trunbo's coach
man, sab, an we always pays de full
rate fo' everything. sab" And the
paper man, overawed by the occur
renee, meekly submitted TO a reduction
in salary.
Councilman O'Meara is nothing if
not funny-sometimes His latest is
in regard to bicycles. At the meeting
of the committee Of the whole on
Thursday night, at which the wheel
matter was so thoroughly discussed
Mr.. Hardy moved that all bikes be
taxed a dollar and q half per year.
This led O'Meara TO rise to his feet
with q proposition that tandems come
in for double rates. eff a wheel built
for one is to pay $780," said O'Meara,
why not levy IS on bicycle built for
two?''
Fisher Harris the genial clerk at the
Knutsford. is poet. Very few, save
select circle of friends, are aware Of
this; but it is a fact, just the same.
Spring" An advance copy of the first
stanza is already in type and reads:
And Joe and pretty Kate
Can spend the pleasant evenings,
In swinging on the gate "
Canto II will be read in a few days
more
Salt Lake newsboys are in need of
a few lessons on the art of selling pa
pers. Instead of rushing down the
street crying the name of the journal
they are vending. and stating its price,
If they would cry out the topics con-
tanned in its columns they would do
bigger business. The average Salt
Lake newsboy gets an armful of PAPERS
in the morning, and, taking place on
a corner, will cry for two hours:
Here's yer Herald and Tribune; only
five. half a dime" when every man.
woman and child in Utah knows that
every journal sold here costs a nickel |
One genuine Chicago lad could give /
the whole outfit cards and spades. /
Take boy on the Mail. for instance. I
He will fight, if need be, for first place /
in the line, and when he has got his /
papers, starts out with a rush and q /
series of yells something like the fol- |
lowing: Mail. All about the murder
at the Madison street bridget Man
shot at the stock yards Two women
killed at Logansport, Ind, Strike on
the C. B. & O., All about Cleveland
going to Buzzards bay after catfish
Anna Gould gets away with the Johnny
CrapeauI Mayor Hopkins won't let
the peelers arrest the gamsi Paper
sir?" And by this time everyone on
the street knows that the Mail has got
something extra. But here, the nearest
approach that one hears to a boy
crying the contents of the naper is:
'All about the horrible murder; only
five" The boy who gets on to the
business right, masters the headlines
in his paper, and cries his news, is 60
ing to make a hit.
Ihere is one restaurant Al which the
horse editor of this paper frequently
dimes. The horse editor is very fond
Of tomato ketchup, catchup, catsup, or
tomato sauce, whatever the proper
term is The cooking at the aforesaid
is of E first-class kind:
but the catsup ketchup. catchup or
tomato sauce is adulterated When the
bottles get low the waiter is prone to
ill them with vinegar, instead of pull
ing a new cork. AS a result, a man
doesn't know whether he is getting
vinegar or tomato sauce, although the
weight of the testimony is with tho
former. The horse editor has directed
the Heard on the Side man to serve
notice that in future all hash found
ries shooting vinegar into the tomato
sauce will be boyeOtted, even il he has
to patronize Chinese cheap labor.
Salt Lake is now able to boast of
some pretty good restaurants and it's
1 pity the proprietors do not pay more
attention to the rights of some of
heir patrons. In some Of these res
there are signs posted up:
No smoking at this counter This
-ule is wise one, for if there is one
hing that will spoil the appetite of
nan who doesn't smoke it is to have
some duffer walk in, take a seat along
side of him and puff tobacco smoke
nto his face. OF course no gentleman
,ver was or ever will be guilty of this
)ffense.