The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-10-15
THAT STOVE.
wIggIesworth Thought He Knew How TO
Set 1t Up.

worth as he came in from the Office ''This
house is colds barnl,
Il know it, said Mrs. Wigglesworth,
pulling shawl more closely about her.
II sent Willie down to the store for man
to come and set up the little parlor stove,
but he was too busy today
What you want to rush into expense like
that for?' demanded Mr.. Wigglesworth
yirtuously. "Ain't they crowd enough of
us, I'd like to know, TO set up an 80 pound
stove without paying man 50 to come
and leave an impression of his smutty
hand On the parlor paper?"
but it amt BACKED, said Mrs. Wig
ellsworth.
s'Well, why amt it?' said Mr.. Wiggles-
worth. Whats that hired girl doing, I'd
like to ask, that she can't find time to
smear a little backing around where it's
needed? Been putting a full library bind
ing on one of those fireproof pies, s'pose,
or arranging a loaf of her impervious
cake. Where is that stoves'
He charged out into the shed, where the
stove was discovered, after a considerable
search buried under wealth of debris
such as the North American shed knows
SO well how to accumulate.
"You' re dandy housekeeper, ain It yOug'
growled Mr.. Wigglesworth as he fought
his way toward the stove, while his wife
stood on q box and volunteered advice.
always have things handy, you dol
Hints on Housekeeping, by Mrs. Wig
ellsworth, in two volumes, with full
glossary and key. Specially recommended
for young people who have their own
house and want to Keep it themselves.
That's what you are. -
To this sort of running accompaniment
Mr.. WiggleswoFth snatched his way
through the debris pausing now and then,
when he encountered an ambushed nail,
&c iY1S, hi
parting thereby a weird tone to the howl
that he gave vent to.
WHO nailed the thing DOWN. he an
grily called as he finally got in where his
hands could grip the stove. He was bent
over in the most painful manner, which
afforded him but little breath to spare.
Everybody knows how mad that makes
man.
II think, Mrs Wigglesworth timidly
ventured, 'thet it's heavier than you
thought
ooh yes" growled Mr.. Wigglesworth,
''you're great thinker, you are. You're
the woman that stands around on one foot
thinking up things for the poor I've
read about you in the literary reviews.
/ Thoughts That Mrs. Wigglesworth Has
/ Thought or Particularly designed for
people who have to have their thinking
+ done elsewherel All you want to do is to
/ get Mr.. Gladstone to read one of your
/ books and your fortunes made. Why
don't you come and catch hold here?'' he
yelled.
''Mercyl" calculated Mrs. Wigglesworth,
startled from her perch by the intensity Of
+ her husband command. II didn't know
you wanted me to helpl''
''What's the reason you didn't?'' returned
/ Mr.. Wigglesworth. 'rhink I've got the
only back in the family that needs break
ing? Want me to pull my arins out to
. double length, don't you, SOS you can use
me to feel around on the top shelves of
closets and find things? That's what you
want"
''It's-it's awful heavy" complained
Mrs. Wigglesworth as she bent over and
fastened her grasp on the iron edge.
''Pohr' shifted her husband. There you
go first thing, finding fault. Why don t you
lift and not stop to growl so much?'
The setting sun, looking negligantly in
at the cobwebbed window, impaired an al
most unearthly. radiance to the distorted
countenance of Mr.. Wigglesworth as he
strained at the refractory stove and so set
a noble example to his wife, which that
worthy woman so ably emulated as to
burst both back seams of her waist.
where's that hired girl?' snarled Mr.
Wigglesworth, pausing to wipe his face
and so ornamenting himself with some ar
tistic smocches of SCOT. ''What you got her
concealed for just the time we need her
most? Thinks she's too good to lift on a
parlor stove pro bly,. Has to save her
strength for the dance tomorrow night.
Mrs. Wigglesworth called the girl, who
came out wipirg her hands on the cup
towel
Here" directed Mr.. Wigglesworth,
F'yoa two women take hold of the top,
and I'll snatch out the lower end. See?''
Whether tie hired girl possessed q
strength hitherto undreamed Of or the car
lier efforts had Gisengaged the numbering
i kiualings and other inpedimenta from
abotlt the stove legs, it remains fact that
the very first boost sent the whole process
sion careering rockily across the shed floor,
the stove surging and topping and Mr..
Wigglesworth's vertebra sending forth a
cracking noise that was orninous.
PUT it down, . he grunted as loud as
his bent position would admit. stWhat you
trying to do anyway" he clustered as he
Strengthened up and glared at his assist
ants. 'Want to snap me in twos'
1t seemed to come itself, - painted Mrs.
Wigglesworth looking at the stove
Course it did, retorted Mr.. Wiggles-
worth scornfully. ''Leave it alone, and it
would waltz clean into the parlor pro bly,,
stick its pipe in the chimney and go to
smoking. Great stove, thatl" he added
and then stopped a few minutes to grin
over the unexpected joke he'd made.
NOW kcucn nOlO again, ne Ofuefeu,
and this time he took the lighter end him
self, while Mrs. Wigglesworth and Imo-
gene tugged with freshened zeal at the OPP
posite extremity.
Across the cluttered shed floor they went
slowly shufiing. their heels occasionally
catching against things and threatening
disaster. while Mrs. Wigglesworth, whose
tender hands were Iacerated, dropped hot
tears from hc1 bullying eyes and occasion
ally hoisted up sob.
''What you bellering at?'' pulled Mr.. Wig
ellsworth testify. ''Don't you know any
better than to cry all over a cast iron stove
aud rust? Great household economizer,
you are'
Then they came to the step that rises
from the shed TO the kitchen door, and Mr..
Wigglesworth. by virtue of bearing the