The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1895-05-29
A BIMETALLIC CONFERENCE.


IT ENDED IN THE USE OF THE sELr-
FER BOTTLE ON THE CONFEREEs.
There's wan thing I'll tell W now,
lawn, an that's not two things-I'll
have nav more discussions Nv the silver
question in this house," said Mr.. Doc
ley. 1--WE had enough. an tn mex man
that opens his head to mintion 1t I'll
bounce into tn middle iv tn sthreet at
ratio Nv sixteen to wan-sixteen wal
lops with tn bungstarter to wan head.
Las night was settin' here dhrin-
kim me peaceful dhrink an smokin' me
tin-cint see-ga-ar whin in come Dinny
Gallagher an that rufin Cassidy, an
ordhers tub Nv beer apiece. give it
to thin, an while they was waitin' IF
collar. to dhrop of Cassidy ups an says
he: I see Jawnpee an Wash Hising
have come together he says, over tn
silver question: he says. Yis,' says
Gallagher, an l wondher Jawnpee
didn't tear his whiskers out be tn roAts.'
For why?' says Cassidy. Wash was
right he says. Dye name to tell me
ye'er goldbug?' says Gallagher, Sure
am says Cassidy. Sure thing he
says. If We don't presarve tn goold
standard he says, 'ye'ell bring roona-
ton on tn country
How was 1t befure tn act Nv sivinty-
three says Gallagher, 'whin tn British
to hash tn brogans into silver 2 he says,
Was tn country liver betther of than it
was thin" he says. I raymimber we'll
our back ya-ard was so full Nv tn bones
of reed burrds we'd ct that tn milkman
thripped over thim.' That may be- aays
Cassidy, but silver wasn't tn cause "
It, he says, Dor il 1t was how como 1t
that no wan had reed burrds two years
ago whin tn governmint was turnin'
out silver dollars like link sausage? he
says. TIL rale cause iv our financial
disturbance u.s. he says, that tn med
joom Nv exchange Is not on q pafatty
with tn, yalyoo " tn difference he
says. Or he says, to make it more
palmer he says, tn exchangeable com
modify varies according to tn balance
av tn unit he says. SO whin give ye
wan dollar In goOld that is wan dollar
in goold, an whin I give We wan dollar
in silver that Is wan dollar, nAyether
dye catch the dhrift Nv me remarks?
II do, says Gallagher, but wasn't II
tn moxies an tn British that done it?'
he says. Not at ALL says Cassidy. 1T
was Greshams law Now, what tn ell
do care f'r Gresham's law says Gal
lagher, Iknowed Gresham whin he was
Justice iv tn peace with hair enough
on his face to stun a bed he says. But
tn currency We contract tn ability Nv
min to pay their debts he says. They
sh'd be no kick comm on that says
Cassidy. What hurts IL maxim people
pay thim, he says. 'Thrue, f'r ye.' says
Gallagher, but suppose We have ye'er
watch up says he. What thin?' Rob
tn spout says Cassidy. But that's
neither here nor there in Connock,' he
says. TIL point is this, that cheap
money dhrives out dear money he says.
HOVE says Gallagher Well says Cas-
sidy, suppose We start out tonight with
yeer time firm tn mills in yeer pocket
he says. 'Whin We wake up in tn NOR
min ye'er pockets Is full Nv quarthers
thim, he says. so be counthries.' he
says. "Tis there tn paratty comes In
he says. TIL paratty Nv tn booze is
not sufficient to keep up tn medjoem Nv
exchange he says.
"'Well, look here says Gallagher.
Dye know II / borried wan hundred
thousand dollars firm We in eighteen
hundred an sivinty-three I'd have to
give We two hundred thousan' bushels
" wheat today?' 'Ye would not says
Cassidy. I wouldn't take it, he says.
They'd be no place to put 1t. Ye'd pay
me in dough or I'd have tn law on ye'
Thin says Gallagher, I'D have to pay
We two hundred thousan' dollars For
uyhvY 60So1Av Al
silver firm We an silver Is now rejooced
by tn sheenies an tn British 50 that
it's worth only fifty cints to tn buck
he says, AN goold, conthrawise, is worth
two dollars dollar Well, it's too bad,
but Yell have to sittle in goold, says
Cassidy. I'll have no silver he says.
"A man might as we'll have money mada
out of false teeth he said. Thin ye'er
Jew says Gallagher. 'Ye'er a liar
says Cassidy. I'll have no lip firm ye,'
he says. 'Ye can hang onto ye'er dirty
little OIL hundred thousan', but I'll take
it out ~ ye on tn fiure,' he says.
Hol' on there says I, Well have
no fightin' here ! says. Settle up an
f'r beer Well, Jawn, they dug in their
pockest. Cassidy, the goold bug, pro-
jected nawthin' but a nail an a button
an tn Dist tn free silver man cud do
was two copper cints"
What did you do about it," asked
Mr.. McKenna.
II give thin tn con-tints Nv tn sitter
BOTTLE" said Mr.. Dooley, An | give
notice that hinceforth all bimetallic con-
frinces ii pay cash In advance I'll re-
store the parity bechune a shell iv beef
an tn nickel Nv commerce II have to
break some vans ck."-Chicago Post.
CIT WED yyyrvrnnHy