davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04
PITH AND POINT.

"Isn't he rather fast?" asked the
anxious mother. eyes, mammn, in
one sense of the word. / don't think
he can get away. ."-Indianapolis Jour-
nal.
There is one redeeming feature
about the bicycle craze; the father
who buys his girls one each has no
money left to buy a piano. --Atchison
Globe.
'eThree minutes for dinner : yelled
tAs railroad porter. "GoodT ex-
claimed the editor. "The last time
it was three dollars. Atlanta Corstl-
tuition.
McSwatters-"Row is it that Figson
can always tell when it is going to
rain?" McSwitters-"oh, he makes
dates for all the church picnlcs. -
Syracuse Post.
eNo, 'Lije, I can't marry you, said
the belle of Tater Holler, with n
shiyer. "pm afraid it would bc on
lucky. You wear No. 10 shoes. D.
Chicago Tribune.
At French Hotel "Tell him to
clean your boots, John-and mine,
too" GAIL right. Er-Garcong,
nettoyez may bot, 81 VOC play-et
aussee nah fam Punch.
Ellis-'sMius Ballad has remark
ably sweet voice" Warburton-" "She
ought to have. 1t has cost me about
sixty pounds Of chocolates in the last
six months. Boston Courier.
A witty Frenchman said: "only
death is an excuse for not keeping n
| dinner engagement, and even then a
polite man would send his undertaken
to apologize for him. -Tit-Bits.
The skies are blue. the sunshine bright,
No cause for gloom at.all;
For crops are good and trades all right.
And the home teams playing ball.
Kansas City Journal.
She-"So there are the Alps at
Iast!' He-"Must be. You don't
suppose first-class tourist company
like this would work of any substitu-
tions or limitations on its pstrons?-
Life.
"What makes men Of mature years
wear SO sad Oh e1pression" "Prob-
ably they are 50 mortified to think
they have forgotten all they thought
they knew when they left school.
Boston Transcript.
..Keap your temper, laddie.- Never
quarrel WI an angry person, specially
a woman. Mind ye, soft answers
ave best. It's commanded-aud for
bye, it makes them far madder than
onything else ye could say.-Tit-Bits.
He-"Is there anything I can do to
prove my affection, so that you will
not doubt it?" She-"Thereis: Marry
my sister. She is ten years older than
I, and mamma is determined not to let
me marry till Sophia is dispose | OF ?"
-Houshold Words.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04
Largest Mississippi Catfish.

The largest Mississippi river catfish
or bullhead, ever captured OF which uc-
curate record was kept fell into tho
tolls of some negro fishermen at point
tMe miles bele# GaiFe HI, III ia in
mer of 1890. 1t was known in the
neighborhood that the monster was
"using" in certain. bayou for several
months before his capture was finally
effected, and different persons had
tried to shoot the giant with their
squirrel rifles, knowing that it would
be useless to attempt to "swing him
in" with the regulation hook and line.
At last nature assisted in tho work of
capture. Immense preparations were
made for the freshet which was
known to be coming down the
river, and when "Whale Bayou, "
as the home of the giant cat
was known, was flooded watchful fish
ermen took il upon themselves to see
that the "whale" was carried upon the
tide out into On adjoining marsh.
When the waters receded from the
swamp the big fish was grounded
among the weeds and marsh willows,
and easily captured. After being
dressed for the market and before the
head was removed, he was weighed
and found to tip the beam at exactly
312 pounds, being 1913 pounds heavier
than the famous "New Orleans whale, !"
which was captured in 1865. have
never seen figures on the length of
this big Cairo fish, but the data from
which the above was compiled says
she would square up IA inches be-
tween the oyes."
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04
How Many Apples Did They Eat2

"can you tell me" said Will to Bob,
chow many apples Adam and Eve ate
in the garden of Eden ?"
4sFFlrtaftt Fhrtaft chestnut r Bob answered.
"Eve ate one and Adam ate, too; that
makes three"
'sYou don't add correctly, Bob. The
total is 163."
GLOW do you make that out?"
"Wby, as you said, Eve ate one (s1l
and Adam ate, too 1927. Add 81 and
80 together, and you get 163, don't
you?"
Bob thought moment and then ex-
claimed; "I guess they ate more, after
all. Eve ate, for one (s41), and Adam
ate too (S2). Total, $685."
"Oh, 1 con do better than that, u
said will. Eve, for one, ate one (4181)
and Adam, too, ate one (2SD. Thai
makes total of 4,362. Can you beat
that?"
eyes, indeed! How is this? Eve ate
one, for one (S,141), and Adam ate,
one too (S12). That is total of 1858.
Now it's your turn"
"I'll quit, said Will. "They must
have eaten the whole crop. "-Neu
York Recorder.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04
FARMS AND FARMERS.

/
The first buckwheat state is New
York, with $50, ,019 acres and 4, CTS, 735
bushels of product.
Illinois claims the largest number OF
improved acres on her farms, having
1853, ,O6O.
Ohio has the greatest number OF
farms, 251, 43O, having 23,352, 40S
acres; Illinois is second, with 240, 6Sl
farms and 80, ,49S,277 acres; Missouri
being third, with 238,013 farms and
80, 7SO, 300 acres.
New York has the greatest amount of
capital invested In farm implements and
machinery, the sum total being $46,-
659, 465; Pennsylvania is second, with
S39, 046, 1855; Iowa is third, with $780,
665,315.
In the estimated value OF farm pro-
ducts, according to the returns of the
eleventh census, Illinois is first, with
S184, 759, ,013; New York is second,
with $l6l, ,593, ,009; Iowa is third, with
59,847, ,s44.
Illinois has the greatest value in
fences and buildings-$1, 1862, $40, ,5S7,
the second place belonging to Ohio,
which has 81, 1850, 931, 1913, and the
third to New York, whose fences and
buildings are valued at $96S, 127, ,2S6.
Kentucky stands first in tobacco,
having 274.5S7 acres, producing 22l,-
88O,303 pounds; Virginia is second,
with 11O,579 acres and 4S,522, 655
pounds, and North Carolina is third,
with 97,077 acres, producing $685.,
258 pounds.
The first corn producing state is
Iowa, with an acreage of 1855, 522
and 313, 130, 1872 bushels; next comes
Illinois, with 1868, OPS acres and 2S9,
697. 1855 bushels; the third being Kan
SOS. with 7,314, ,665 acres and 259, 9,674,
56S bushels.
Among the barley-producIng states
California stands first, having 815, 995
acres, yielding II, ,54S, 1856 bushels; the
second is Iowa, with 518, ,729 acres and
10, 406, ,122 bushels; the third being
Wisconsin, with 474, Ola acres and Is,
225, ,872 bushels.
According to the statistics furnished
by our consular service, the farmers
of this country are better clothed, bet
ter housed, better fed, give their chill
dren better education and have more
money in bank than the rural popula-
tion of any country in the world.
The first state In faxseed is Mime.
sofa, the fields of that commonwealth
yielding 2,721, 9S7 bushels OF seed and
5000 pounds of fiber; the second in
rank is Iowa, with 2,2S2,35 bushels
of seed and 6,261 pounds of fiber; the
third being South Dakota, with 1, ,SOl,-
ia bushels of seed and 3,27S pounds
of fiber.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04
a Farewell sermon.

A county minister in certain town
took permanent leave of his congrega-
tion in the following pathetic manner !:
brothers and sisters, I come to say
good-by. don't think God loves this
church, because none of you ever die.
I don't think. you love each other. be-
cause I meyer marry any of you. /
don't think you love me, because you
have not paid my salary. Your dona-
tions are mouldy fruit and wormy ap-
pies, and Shy their fruits we shall know
.hem.' Brothers. ] ana going away to o
better place. I have been called to be
chaplain OF penitentiary. Where 1
no ye cannot come, but I go to prepare
place for you, andmay the Lord have
mercy on your souls. Goodby."
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04
Swallowing Accidents. !,

The doctors of the London takospi-
tails have an incredible number of pa
tients who have swallowed strange
things. OF course, children are the
most frequent sufferers. The com.
monest objects that they swallow are
small metal whistles and tin "sqaeak-
ers." The most dangerous of toys for
very young children are the India
rubber air balloons, which can be In
Aated by means of small mouthpiece.
These Gun most readily be drawn in
by the breath, and then each SUCCEED
ing respiration infatss the India rub:
ber bag. These have caused scores Of
deaths, and 80 have th1mbles. Achlld
sees its mothers bright thimble, and
there is no worse article to swallow.
Among grown people, young women
of the domestic and working class are
the most frequent patients, this being
because they habitually carry
small articles in their mouth, and are
often prone to what is called clark
ing" Only a week or two ago cook
in West End mansion swllloyed a
small glass vial containing faA Aging
essence. The physicians have nofbeen
able to do anything for her as yet.
One of the strangest cases Of this kind
on record was that of gentleman
who about two years ago was treated
at one of the London hospitals, he
having swallowed o tiny live tortoise.
He had bought several Of these crea-
lures, and was amusing his children
by pretending to eat them alive, and
SO on, when he actually swallowed
one. 1t was several days before the
creature was even killed. Scores of
these cases come from public bars.
where people seem fond of attempt
ing silly tricks with coins, pencil cases
and rings. The present Earl of Gran
vile has below his vest half crown,
swallowed during the course of con-
juring entertainment when he was o
lad. Only the other day man died
at Greenwich through swallowing one
of the noisy toys called a siren, and
no medical aid could save him.
Home and Farm.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04
THE LOOKOUT PRESS.

The Lookout Press, of Chattanooga,
Tenn, has just issued q special edition
of $4,000 copies that is Of especial in
terest. Cuts of Lookout Mountain,
Chattanooga, National Cemetery and G
Cbickamauga Park monument and OBJ
servation tower, also good map of all
the battlefelds about Chattanooga ap
pear. Short articles on Lookout
Mountain, the Chickamauga aud Chat
tanooga National Military Park and
other interesting subjects are printed.
Our readers can get copy of this
special edition free by addressing the
publishers and mentioning this paper.
Address (enclosing stamp for postage),
The Lookout Press, Chattanooga,
Tenn.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04
A Word to the sleepless.

DR.. j. E. Huxley, of Maidstone,
England, thinks he has hit upon the
natural remedy for sleeplessness. 1t
is, in brief, to curl under the clothes
like kitten, or put the head under
the wing like hen. He says: "This
insomnia seems to be now universal
affliction. We live wrongly; sit up
late and overwork the brain, and then
90 TO bed in On excited condition. No
one seems to have hit upon the natural
remedy. I think I have. People take
chloral and the like at their peril, and
the fatal consequence not seldom en-
sues. 1t is oil wrong, for you cannot
control the dose required for the exact
circumstances. But try natures plan
instead. Lower the supply of oxygen
to the blood, produce little asphyxia,
limit the quantity OF air to the lungs
and heart, and circulation becoming
quicker, the brain loses its stimulant
and sleep follows. When you And
yourself "in" for sleepless night,
cover your head with the bed-clothes
and breathe and rebreathe only the
respired air. Thus you may reduce
the stimulating oxygen and fall asleep.
There is no danger. When asleep you
are sure to disturb the covering and
get as much fresh air as you require,
or when once drowsiness has been
produced, it is easy to go en- sleeping,
though the air be fresh. What do the
cat and dog do when they prepare to
sleep? They turn around generally
three times, and lastly bury their noses
in some hollow in their hair and "off'
they 90. They are in no danger.
although it might look as il they were
from the closeness with which they
embed their noses. "-Medica! Press
and Circular.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04
THE VANISHED VOICE.


There stood tree beside his boyhood's door
That faced the west, and often, just before
The sundown, seemed transagured with the
light
That flooded in, and keen upon his sight
Burned images of flame; and from the tree
Fluted a nameless bird so goldenly
He seemed part of the sunset and the sky.
The listener has listened for that cry
Of love and longing many weary timc
And heard it never; nor can mortal rhyme
Encompass half its sweetness. Could the
place,
The homely homestead, and the subtle grace
Of youth return, the magic moment when
The westering day shows heaven to morta
men.
Though transient!y, perchance the chanting
bird
Would be there too, perchance his voice were
heard.
The listener listens vainly. Song is rife
Still in the world. still love illumines life.
But he would give the all of after-years,
Its triupphs, wisdoms, and revealing tears
To list that little bird-soul from its nest
Leap into lyric rapture, sink to rest,
Youth in the air, and sunset in the west.
2 Richard Burton, il Harper's.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04

what it is not one of the congregation
is smart enough to find out. !"
"Perhaps he will make his meaning
plain in his own good time and way, +"
Ruth answered with her quiet smile,
''and in the meantime I don't suppose
it matters much to us what he is driv.
ing at"
Sunday after Sunday when Israel
Weston took his place in the pulpit
his glance wandered inquiringly to-
wards the Temple pew from which the
calm, demure face was now absent,
and Sunday after Sunday a tide of
bitter disappointment pulsed through
his heart and fingered there to the
detriment of all other sentiments ne
tried to call into activity. One day
he came to sudden determination.
ALI morning the thought of her in.
truded and had hopelessly tangled it
self with the half-formed outline of
his next sermon. Shortly after noon
he closed his desk and started towards
Miss Temples home. She was alone
and her face expressed considerable
surprise when he entered.
'tI came to tell you why have
been preaching on the text, Tt is
not we'll for man to be alone,'" he
said, sitting before her and fumbling
awkwardly with his watch chain. 81
meant it for you in certain sense,
but the message has far greater sig.
nifcance for myself. Can't you see,
Ruth? I preached at both OF us. I
thought it would strike responsive
chord in your own heart and that you
would understand intuitively. Per-
haps it was not right. perhaps it was
not manly. I'll have hurt you pray
you to forgive me and let me repeat
the text with no listener but you.
He said it again: "'lt is not good
that man should be alone. will
make him help meet for him. Can
you say it with me?" he added
gravely.
Her pretty lips curved into their
quiet smile, but she shook her head.
"Not to-day" she answered, "but
I'll think it over, and if ever ] can 1
will let you know"
1t was two months before he saw
her again. One day when he came
home from call he found note
awaiting MIN which would have seemed
an unsolvable enigma to any one but
him.
81 can say 1t now," the line read.
"Do you wish to hear it?"
When Israel Weston returned to his
study TINT evening he destroyed the
half-fnished outline for his next ser.
mon and plunged head first into a
semi. religious essay on political am
bition, and from that time on he has
never beeh known to preach on mar
rying and giving in marriage.
Last month the committee got out o
new report aud general history of the
Methodist Episcopal Church. The
name "Ruth Temple, spinster," was
conspicuous only by ;ts absence, and
away down of the end of the member
ship list is another on which her in
dex finger often rests and its owner
reads it with smile Ruth Weston. !"
Chicago News.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04
Remarkable Memory.

Brown Ito waiter who has at last
brought his order)-Did you ever see
me before ] gave you my order9
Waiter-No, sir!
Brown-Have you seen me since?
Waiter-No, sir
Brown-Well, you have the most
wonderful memory for faces lever saw
in my life.
Waiter-Do you think SO, sir9
Brownies; the idea of man who
only saw me once remembering my
face SO long afterward is little short OF
miraculous. .-Puck.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04
Made False Measures.

In the course OF crusade against
the users of false weights and meas
ures the Philadelphia police last week
found a manufacturer who displayed q
sign over his shop door reading
"One-half peck measure, oil shapes
and sizes, made here" When inter-
viewed 40 TO the exact meaning of the
sign he said 1t meant just what it said |;
people wanted measures of different
sizes, and he made it his business to
give his customers what they wanted.
He made tin quart measures on the
same basis, too, he said. New Yorr
Sun,
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04
Exnosnd tie Trick.

A dog was advertised to play on q
piano at circus. When the time
came for the dog to perform he'got OF
d seat and began playing. Suddenly
a wag in the crowd shouted Gratis T.
upon which the dog bounded off the
seat. But the piano kept on playing.
Minneapolis Baptist.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04
New way of Smuggling.

A new way of smuggling was recent
ly unearthed in Bristol, Conn. A
clerk employed in wholesale house
there had bale of hay consigned to
him, sent from Nova Scotia. On ex-
amining the bale roll of expensive
broadcloth was found in the centre
of ~
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04
Don,t Drayr yo,,,r,. nee,

Many men do because the nerve centres,
weakened by the long-continued use Of to-
bacco, become so affected that they are weak,
tired, lifeless, lstiess, etc. All this can be
, easily overcome II the tobacco user wants to
quit and gain manhood, nerve power, and
enjoy vigorously the good things of life.
Take No-To-Bac. Guaranteed to cure or
money refunded by Druggists everywhere.
Book FREE The Sterling Remedy Co., New
York City or Chicago,
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04
Ruth Temple, Spinster."

UTH TEMPLE
slowly turned the
pages of the red
backed, large.
typed book, os,
tentatiously Ia.
b ell ed in gro.
tesque gilt letters
"The Report and
General History
of the Lebanon
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04
The Cox College.

We congratulate the management OF the
Southern Female (CoS) College upon the re-
moval OF the institution from LaGrange TO
the magnificent buildings ut Manchester, At
lapta's most beautiful suburb This grand old
institution is now better equipped in the va
rious departments, and has larger and
with pleasure we learn Of The flattierlng pros
poets for q larger attendance this fall,
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04

The first in the list of wheat-produc-
ing states is Minnesota, having 1872
627 acres, which yielded $4,000, 247
bushels of the grain; next comes CALI
forhia, with 9, $40, sO7 acres and 49,
s69, 1897 bushels the third being North
Dakota, with 2, 2,709,4 acres and 26,-
409. 365 bushels.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04
800 Reward. sIoo.

The resders Of this PAPER will be pleased to
learn that there is at least one dreaded disease
that science has been able to cure in all its
stagos. and that Is catarrh. Halls Catarrh
Cure Is the only positive cure now known to
tho medical fraternity. Catarrh being con;
stitutional disease, requires o const utional
formally, acting directly upon the blood and
mucous surfaces Of the system, thereby de.
stroying the foundation Of the disease, and
giving the patient strength by building up the
work. The proprietors have SO much faith in
its curative powers that they offer One Hun
dred Dollars for any case that 1t fails to cure.
Send for List Of testimonials: Address
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04
The Man for the Place.

Applicant-You advertised for an
assistant editor, believe.
Editor-Yes. Do you know any
thing about agriculture2
"I know enough to write paragraphs
warning farmers not toleaye their $500
mowing-machines outdoors ell winter. "
"You'll do"
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04

commends to public approval the California
liquid laxative remedy, Syrup of Figs. 1t is
pleasant to the taste and by acting gently on
tho kidney. liver and bowels to cleanse shesys-
tom effectually, it promotes the health and
comfort of all who use 1t, and with millions it
Is the best and only remedy.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04
THESE days the man who has ice to
melt is richer than he who has money
Tie sworn Tormentors

lures more dreadful than those endured by
the victim of inaammatory rheumatism. The
chronic form of this obstinate malady is
sufficiently Painful. Arrest it at tho start
with Hostetter's Stomach Bitters and avoid
becoming lifelong martyr. The Bitters will
remove malaria and kidney complaints, dys
pepsia, constipation, nervousness and neu-
ralgia, remedy debility and hastens conva-
lescence
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04
"a New View nfLife.

It is surprising how often the troubles of
this life spring from Indigestion. And more
surprising how few people know IL. You say,
I'm blue,'' o.; My head feels qIIeer," or II
can't sleep, y or Everything frets me.' Nine
tiElesin ten Indigestion is ut the bottom OF all
..scid gfYs Vol an ansifelT new TfsW cf Ilc:
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04

DR.. Klmer's SWAMP ROOT cures
all Kidney and Bladder troubles.
Pamphlet and Consultation free.
Laboratory Binghamton, n. Y.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04

In lis FnvOr.
Some time ago Judge Andy E. Calhoun,
casion to pass sentence that was gratifying
to him, and If people will take his advice
much suffering will be a5leviated. The judge
Is subject TO nervous sick headaches and dys-
pepsia Here is his sentence:
"I am O great sufferer from nervous sick
headache and have found no remedy so effec-
tive as Tyner's Dyspepsia Remedy. If taken
whom the healache first begins it invariably
cures"
Price 90 cents per bottle. For sale by ali
druggists.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04
w- Sold by Druggists, TIC.

FITS stopped free by DR.. KL1NE's GREAT
NERVE REsToRER. No fits after first dav's use.
Marvellous cures. Treatise and 81. 90 trial bot
tie free. DR.. Kline, 931 Arch ST., Phila., Fa.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04

Mothers Appreciate tho Good Work
of Parkcr's GingerTonic, with it's reviving quail
itics-a oon to the pain-sirlckcn and nervous.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04

When You Como To Realize
that your cofns are gone, and no pain, how
grateful you feel. The work OF Hindercorls. 15c
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04

The personal pronoun az" should be the
coat-of-arms of some individuals.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04

Wife used MOTHERS FRIEND" before first
child-was quickly re lieved; suffered but little;
recovery rapid. L. E. JOHNSTON, Eufaule, Ala.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04

Piso's Cure is the medicine to break VI
children's Coughs and Colds.-Mrs. NJ q
BLUYT, Sprague, WASH, March 8. 'o4.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04
Pure and WhoIesome Qunlity

Be careful to make friendship the child, ant
not the father. of virtue.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-09-04
In the Police Court-Triea and JudEmen,
I'm les Favor

The most araiable people are those who least
wound the selt-love Of others.