The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1895-06-15
PuNoENT PARAGRAPHS.

Old Beau-"Miss Flossie, be mine.
would give my life for you'll" Miss
FIossie-"Well, You may if it is heavily
insured. brooklyn Life.
-Hoax-"There goes man who will
treat you, and then make you pay for
it." Joax--"What is he-a beatY'
Hoax-"No, q doctor. "-Philadelphia
Record.
First Boarder-"What's the star
boarder making all that hubbub about
over that berry pie?" Second Boarder
~ guess he found the berry.e-Syra-
cuse Post.
-She-''lsn't Harvard very exclu-
sive college?" He-"Weil, rather. ]
was excluded from three courses before
/ had been there two months. liar
ward Lampoon.
--''Oh, my dear Mrs. -, how glad ]
am to see you. 1t is four years since
we met, and you recognized me imme-
diately." ''Oh, yes. l recognized the
hat."-Fliegende Blaetter.
Dismal Dawson-"Kin / use your
telephone minnit?" Merchant-'It
won't work. Dismal Dawson-"Sof
Have you any objection to me shakin'
hands with it?"-Cincinnati Tribune.
New Woman Gin crowded car, speak.
ing Indignantly to herself-"I didn't
mind giving the young man my seat,
but he might at least have had the de-
cency to thank me for it."-Chicago
Tribune.
You see, professor, it's like this: I
can speak-oh, beautifully-when I'm
alone, but just as soon as get up be-
fore a lot of people my nerves leave me.
What ought l do?' ''Tahe lessons Of
sewing machine agent. IN. Y. Re-
corder.
Friend 81 can't think why you
don't attend to yourself instead of hay
ing that young DIR. Gravely." Eminent
Physician-'I can't afford it, my boy.
My charges are two guineas visit,
while DIR. Gravely only charges five
shillings. "-Tit-Bits.
Accommodating = Mrs. Richley-
sPlease, Mr. Burglar, don't take that
diamond pin; it's a keepsake" Bur-
glar--"Dat's all right, ma'am; l give
yer me woyd as gentleman dat I'll
send yer de pawn ticket be mail, de
foyst ting in de mornin'."
"A man would be willing that his
wife should have the last word If she
wouldn't be SO long getting to 1.-THE
wise man never loses his reputation by
trying to answer too many questions
There is nothing so unreasoning as a
woman's love, unless it is woman's
prejudice.-A1bany Argus.
Little Robert Observation-Disclosures
the snow and ice have gone" said the
Sunday school teacher, beaming upon
the boys, land nature awakens from
her long sleep, the tiny buds begin to
appear, and then what do we have2
You may answer, Robert" Sulphur
and molasses," replied Robert, earnest
ly.-Rockland Tribune.
Jones found Smith engaged in Wig.
oronsly polishing his shoes. "What
are you doing that for? thought you
always wore patent leather" These
used to be patent leather" replied
Smith, painfully bringing his spinal
column into it's normal position, but
the patent on them has expired. -
Washington Pathfinder.
Aqua Pura Costs Money.-Customei
Fifty cents for filling this prescrip
ton? Why, at the drug store down the
street they charge me only quarter"
Druggist-''That's all it's worth at that
store, ma'am. They put about four
cents worth of drugs In the bottle. and
then fill it up with water. put in the
same drugs, and fill the bottle with the
finest aqua pura. Thanks Anything
else?"-Chicago Tribune.