The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1895-01-16
ANncs or EYEGLASSES



Ilaiihblh erectaeIes.
Most people have a preiudice
against spectacles writes. one Who
has suffered with lame eyes They
make one look so Old They spell
the expression Of the eyes and leave
a mark across the nose and are I'M
comfort bleoyer the ears. So it fa-
orally happens that when ones eye
sight gives outand every thing grows
woefully indistinct eglasses are re-
sorted to- So much more cOnven
lent than spectacles, said a friend
to rs the other day. Eyeglasses are
a sort of compromise between youth
and ago, and as long as a person
wears eyeglasses he may be regard
ed as not so very old, for when old
age nnnlistalzably sets IN then we
cease TO Shink much Of appearing
and cry out for comfort, and there
IS moro real comfort IN ono pair Of
speutac1es that VIII stav on zolir face
5ror 5.,t aEl
which are always flying OF on bust
ness of their own just when you
want them.
Eyeglasses are made on purpose to
break They are always catching
into something. The springs are
frail as a spiders web. The bows
are as brittle as molasses candy in
January. The glasses are always
falling out, and if you happen to be
nearsighted you might hunt till the
next Fourth of July without finding
them again. When nothing else hap.
pens to them. the spring breaks, and
they get underfoot, and somebody
steps on them, and you are a couple
of dollars out and as good as blind,
with no dog to lead you in the paths
of safety. In hot weather you can't
keep the slippery things on your
nose to save you.
: If you perspire, your nose has no
attraction for india rubber or cellu-
loid just as you are looking at
something and flattering yourself
that you have got exactly the right
focus down go the glasses, and you
have to rub your nose up and stick
them on again and look quick, for
the same thing is going to be repeat
ed again and again. Another char
acteristic of eyeglasses is the fact
that when they are wanted most
they turn up missing. You may look
and hunt, and hunt and look, and
when you dom need them you viii
find them hanging serenely to your
buttonhole or resting composedly
on the table at your side. AS an item
of expense they are formidable
Your boots do not costyou any more
per year Ehe cigars you smoke are
not more expensive by the month
They are always in a crippled condi-
ton. They need the doctor continu-
ally, and you no sooner get thespring
mended than the bow breaks, and
when that trouble is remedied you
lose one glass, and by the time that
is fixed the catch gives out, and so
ON. A man is never safe with less
than three pairs of eyeglasses at a
time unless he wishes to be without
sight. They are the most perplexing,
unreliable of all friends, and the per-
son who is dependent upon them is
to be pitied. Those who wear them
for style-and we are sorry to say
that there are some such consum-
mate fools IN the world-must have
a relish for self torment and owe
themselves an awful grudge for
something. And people who have
good eyes, who can laugh at glasses
and the wearers of them, ought to be
devoutly thankful and pray that the
time may yet be afar off when they
shall fall under the curse of eye
glasses. New Orleans Picayune