The morning times., 1895-10-19
HUNTINGTON SOFT SNAPS
One Genus of Office Seeker That
Is Peculiar to the Capital.
DISEASE OF SNAPOMANIA
How Young Men a re Lured From Good
Homes by Promises From Politi-
Clans and Visions OF Office, With
Little Work and Good Pay, and
Soon Discover Their Mistake.

Not a few men have walked to Wash
ington from great distances to pick up
a sinecure in the shape OF a fat govern
ment position, and not a few have been
sadly deceived.
Washington is full to overlooking with
aspirants for soft snaps and though this
city at this time of the year has its
minimum of such visitors, when Congress
convenes they win flock in in vast armies
and singly from every cardinal point.
These persons GRE a decided and dis
tinct species of crank said DR.. Stewart
johnson, speaking on the subject, land
for want OF proper name we may call
them snapomaniaCS.' "
This physician has made a study of the
softsnap hunting humanity and states
that when a person is affected by that
morbid yearning for '.cinch'' he or she
is a maniac for the time, at least, al
though actuated by promises and hopes
and will undergo almost any privauon
to gain their end
the government departments stand an
everlasting attraction for these easy job
hunters. Every year the city's population
is augmented by thousands of such indivi
duals, and it may be safely stated, but
comparative few ever have their hopes
realized.
It is this way with the usual American
citizen who finally winds up in WASH
ington In quest OF department position.
John Jones works on q farm In Illinois.
From sun to sun he handles the plow, rides
the barrow, or manipulates the hoe, and
at some time in his career such life at
good, honest toll becomes a burden. He has
probably read of the government depart
ments at the Capital. and with an ambition
spurred on by the hope OF getting work
under Uncle Sam at ridiculous compensa-
ton, he leaves bis old homestead, and with
the little money saved from bis daily
pittance he purchases ticket TO Washing
ton. In spite of the prutestatiuDs of bis
parents or friends, the farmer leaves his
plow and field and fees to the Capital
City.
TEMPORARY RESPITE.
Once here, the first few days are spent in
sightseeing and looking for influential
friends. The latter are perhaps not so easy
TO find, or maybe he will bavea re W minutes
interview with a Member of Congress from
his State or district who VIII promise to
look out for him, and take his name on
slip of paper, or card
John Jones waits one week and fort
night, and his little pile of specie diminishes
and decreases until three weeks or month
finds him with a few dollars, or cents, but
still full of blind, dogged hope. He hears
nothing from his Congressman or inrluen-
tial friend, and again interviews him,
only to be told that at present there is no
vacancy where person may enter into the
enticing, seductive realms OF the Govern
ment
The office seeker meets and becomes &C
quainted with others of the same stamp,
and little sensible talk between the two
is anything but encouraging. AS last
resort, the ex-farmer applies for and is
given a civil service examination, but that
fai1 a knows the
first rudiments OF science, the arts, or
official duties.
Then he loses all faith In both methods,
and with an empty pocket tries to concoct
| schemes by which he might secure an office.
| Hisscheming fails. and dpenniless, discouraged
| and frenzied by the ghost of poverty star
Ing him in the face, he stands on broad
| Pennsylvania avenue, not knowing what
| to do. He comes into contact with others
who have passed through the same gaunt-
| let at every turn, but still in his sorrow and
desolation he finds faint ray OF hope.
II he can get little money he will sue
ceed, he thinks, but what a disgrace to
write home. seizing pen, with despera-
ton in every muscle and permeating his
whole frame and spirit, he scrawls on
a postal OF letter home for money. 1t
comes. He spends il as before, and then,
willing to work ot anything, he goes
forth. The dream of glory hasfaded away,
and he realizes that be Is In world
with every object as frigid as polar
spar and as calloused as petrified wood.
Jones is ''snapomaniac" no more.
WOODS FULL OF EN-.
The remains of numerous Joneses can
be found here every day. In every squad
of day laborers, in every army of tramps
we find them and, in fact, we may seek
for them successfully everywhere. but in
the governmental palaces dreamed of In
| theI. infancy of knowledge.
The writer was standing near several
concrete diggers on the Avenue few
| days ago. Among the dozen OF SO black
| and Irish 1aborers was q comparatively In
| telligent-lo oking young man. Like the
| others, he was welding pickax. A few