Smyrna times., 1895-10-09
The Clayton Call and Our Town
Council

Our contemporary of Clayton in
making such a strenuous effort to give
our town fathers" a send off last
Tuesday by putting the article under a
"terrifc scare head" seemed to be a
target to the Morning NeWs for a bril-
liant editorial satire. So amusing is it
that we give the editorial, as it ap-
peared in last Fridays issue under
the heading Trouble in Smyrna:
'The town council of Smyrna has risen
to the dignity of having its proceedings re-
ported in the local papers, under a terrific
scare head, and of course the members
of the council are very much elated there
by;
"When town councils attain the years of
discretion wkich come with the publication
of their dOings the council sometimes gets
in wrangles which are neither pleasant nor
profitable. For instance, we learn that one
of the Smyrna cOnncilmen, at recent
meeting, said that "All of the town is
laughing at u.s." This is deplOrable and
the people should not continue to laugh.
| The cOuncilmen should pass an ordinance
| prohibiting persons from laughing at them
| We do not believe however, that this is
true. Were the whole town in continual
| uproar whenever town councilman ap-
! peared we are sure that such levity wOuid
| enumeration
| Gently made of the designations of SMYRNA
| If, however, the town council makes every
one laugh we would inform them that re-
| Gently a cOlOred man in this city laughed
so hard over funny sight that his Jaw was
| dislOcated. He has to be sober and straight
under penalty ofjaw breaking That colored
man will have to keep out of sight of
Smyrna town councilman. 1t would be
| hard on his jaw. .
A notbor OoscibiIifv - bot ,,nIo-, a.
town council ceases to cause laughter many
Smyrna people may have broken or dislo-
Gated jaws. The cause of the laughter ap-
pears to be the conduct of Chief Of Police
and High Constable William b. Grant, who
has held that position for many years The
police force of the town according to the
latest roster is:
W. b. Grant, William B. Grant. William
Berian Grant, w. Berian Grant, William
Grant, Berian Grant. 1t will thus be seen
that for quiet and orderly town of 1900
people Smyrna has ample police protection.
The charge against Chief Grant is neglect
of duty. Recently there has been mad
dog scare in Smyrna and the council gave
peremptory orders to the chief that either
he or some of the patrolmen must kill on
sight all unmuzzled dogs running at large
1t seems that Grant failed to kill any dogs
in fact he refused to do so. 1t was proposed
that unless Grant, before the next meeting
of council showed evidence of having killed
unmuzzled dogs he should be ousted. And
the retirement of Grant would carry with it
the withdrawal Of all the patrolmen. 1t
was suggested that Grant be supplied with
shotgun with which to bang away at all
unmuZZled dogs. Some of the people fav-
ored a battle axe, Others Gatling gun and
not few a butcher knife. Even were he
disposed to kill the dogs he would be in a
quandary as to what weapon to select On
Grants refusal the Hon. II. g. Budd, who
has been alderman of Smyrna for time out
of mind, was ordered to compel the chief
to Kill the dogs. The alderman refused and
said that Smyrna had no policeman; only a
street cleaner. Mr.. Budd's position is i'm
pregnable, and the commissioners cannot
rout him. His remark brought out the
multiplicity of the chiefs duties 1t an
pears that he has TO light lamps, wash win
dows, cut the grass in the COW pound
build fires in the mayors office. arrest
drunken and disorderly persons, keep bows
from whlstllng, singing or any unseemly
conduct on the street, glance frequently at
the hose house, see that the cutters are
clean, that the oyster shells are properly
laid, that young men do not loaf around
church doors to spark the girls, that unruly
boys do not peep through knot holes to see
the baseball games, that all the streets, as
well as sewers are kept clean. This is a
mere prelude to ChiefGrant' duties. There
are numerous and sundry other things
which must command the chiefs undivided
attention. TO be sure, for all this the chief
gets liberal salary" but the duties are
too onerous. And now they wanted Grant
to guarantee to kill so many unmuzzled
dogs week. No wonder he resigned In
addition to the foregoing his successor must
club on sight any one found laughing at a
town commissioner"