The Forrest City times., 1895-08-23
HIS SAD PREDICAMENT,
A Would-Be Swell Loses His Shoes and
 His Girl in a Rain-storm.

 A Wouid-Be Swell Loses His Shoes and
 His Girl In Rain-Storm.
 It was midnight-everythin dread ful always happens at that time. The lightning was flashing and the thunder roared. It was raining rything but money.
 Charley, who was just returning from swell hop had climbed down from North Clark street car and sought the shelter of an awning before dash ing around the corner to his boarding house. He stood for several minutes discussing the weather, when suddenly he discovered directly across the street a dark object emerge from the alley, look cautiously about, and then glide over the street and in under the very same awning which was sheltering him. Then came a flash of lightning and the dark object took the form and features of one of Charley's friends, who was also returning from the swell "hop.'
 Hello, Jackl Is that you?" said Charley. '1 see you're working the alleys now"
 "Sh! not so loud," was the reply.
 Why? Whats up?"
 Well, if l haven't played to bloom In tough luck tonight" growled Jack, mo mortal ever did," and just then flash of lightning revealed the fact that his shoes were missing. Eve got cluster of stone bruises on my left hoof," he continued, "and enough on the right one to drive a man to the hospital For fear of being seen, TveI limped it through the alleys all the way from my girls house, and, blame 1t all, l wouldn't care so much if they hadn't dropped of while she was with me-"
 Dropped off! What do you meanY'|
 "l mean just what I said-dropped on. You see l told the old gent the other day that our ball wasn't goin' to be any hoe down and that I'd have to | have pair of patent feathers in order to be in the push. So he said I'd either wear the shoes l had or I'd stay at home. and just made up my mind to fool him. You know he's kind of a particular old guy. and he's got a burial suit put away in a trunk, so as to have it ready when he goes to Fid- dler's Green just went to that trunk on the sly and dug up the shoes aud slid 'em on. They were just what the doctor ordered, and had a luster on 'em to beat the band. I left lem over in the next ward. or, rather, they left me, and if the old gent don't miss 'em in time, he'll pass out over the great divide in his stocking feet, and land on the sunny shore with mess of stono bruises.
 Well, anyway, things went all K tonight till l started to take my girl home in the rain. She only lives al short way from the hall and it was nearer to walk than take d car, so we both hugged up tight in under my shower stick andI made a bee line for her home. d didn't know that burial shoes were made of paper, and we hadn't gone fad before the right one sprung a leak and then the left one followed suit. l tried to smile and look pleasant when one of the blamed things quit me on the corner; half block fur, ther and the other one got a divorce Then we passed a street lamp, and my girl saw what was up, and she said oh, Jack, what ever has become o your shoes?" tried to act surprised but it wouldn't go and she never said another word after that. When I said good night at the gate she just stuck up her nose and tucked into the house l never saw such luck in my life, all on account of those tissuepaper shoes But l must be going. old man, Tn catching cold already. So longw And Jack shook his friends hand. buttoned up his coat and disappeared in the al ley.-Chicago Inter-Ocean.