Democratic Northwest and Henry County news. [volume] (Napoleon, O. [Ohio]) 1894-1905, 1895-06-06
SOME QUEER MISTAKES.

SOhbi bliBuVi ShotUl oAN "AVh~A wa
good company, and sentative on one
point only-her age. She was thirty
If day, and the fact worried her
AS an intimate friend of the family
visited her frequently, but never but
once did the subject in question in
trude itself on our minds. 1t was
this way: We were sitting in the
parlor talking, when / laughingly told
her that could prove something
had said by the Bible, and thereupon
swept the old family record into my
lap and began to scan its pages.
what do you mean, Harry2' she
said, starting up.
why, I can prove anything by tae
Bible, 1 replied, turning the leaves
one after the other.
4 think-I really think, she STAN
mered. What impertinencel'
Still I went on turning the leaves
the very picture of innocence.
4 am surprised
This time looked up, but too late,
for my hand rested on the family re-
cord Of births, marriages, and deaths,
as written in the Bible.
So this was the cause of her agita-
ton! l saw the point at once, and
not knowing what else to do, slam
med the Bible on the table and asked
her to marry me.
This hapf ened fifteen years ago,
and, will you believe me, my head
swims yet from the suddenness with
which she gave her consent.
This was one of the mistakes we
read of-very seldom-and it was moi
much of a mistake either. The fol-
lowing is much better one:
1t happened in a rough mining
town in Colorado. There was grand
ball at the ranch of Whisky Jack, 9
well.known character in the 'dlggins,
and the elite of the district respond
to the call IN full force. The party
was held in a rickety old barn belong
ing to the host, and what with few
red strips of flannel, grotesque &C
cumulation of mountain roses and
row Of dripping candles, the appoint
ments of the place were perfect.
My first partner in the giddy dance
was the wife of the man who killec
the village postmaster because he re
fused him a letter; she was fat, fai,
and forty, and danced with the grace
of COW. My next partner was th'
daughter of this charming pair,
young girl just bursting into lovelines
of early womanhood; she was badl.
freckled, and sported wart on he
nose. My next partner was bloom
ing grass-widow, a fresh arrival; ant
then ! rested. I did not know al
who were there, and SO, while l rest
ed, began to comment on the nev
faces in the room. My companion il
this pleasant pastime was heavy
bearded miner uncouth, roughl,
dressed, tobacco-slobbered, and yer.
profane. This was cur first meeting
and l hoped it would be our last
There goes hard-Iooking case,
I whispered, as the wife of the NAL
who killed the postmaster sailed by
She's a bad 'un.
yes replied the man, I'D hate t.
have the critter step on me. Wha
an elegant target she would make TO
poor marksmanp
Yes ! said, and turned my eye
on tall, rawboned creature sailiD
towards US, supported by little ma
with sandy whiskers, and red-to
boots. Here comes the boss
'How?'
The boss, say; amt she lovel
chimpanzee7'
A what2'
'Chimpanzee?'
He glared at me a moment an
then reached for his revolver.
what is chimpanzeeT he growl
ed, fercely, his red eyes GROWN
large.
| 1 saw that I had made some mis-
take, and fastened to explain.
'Why-why,' l stammered backin.
off, "a chimpanzee is lovely creatul
found in Africa-nothing SO gloriou
ly beautiful as chimpanzee. Th'
Is the highest compliment lady ca
receive
| or and the man looked relieved
Yes, think SO myself stranger; sf
is q lovely chimpanzee; she's m
| wlfe