The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1895-05-07
PITH AND POINT.

. a
II you want TO retain mans ro-
spect, don't read poetry to him At.
Gibson Globe.
We always find wit and merit in
those who look at us with admiration.
Texas Sittings.
The man who nssiduousiy courts
trouble VIII in the end be married to
it.-Syracuso Post.
In the procession of life there are
too many people hanging on to tho
band wagon. Albany Argus.
After man marrics, he begins to
take the mans sido when he hears of
domestic troubles. -Atchison Globe.
Folks who are always growing at
this world are too scared To hire y
balloon and get out of it, Syracuse
Post
Millionaire Honesty, my SOP, is
always the best policy" His Son
"Well, maybe it is, father, but still
you've done pretty well. Boston
Post.
He-"A little knowledge is
dangerous thing, don't you know"
She Yes; / know. Have YOU hal
your life insurel?' Detroit Free
Press.
Little Villie-"Pa, what's an ex-
pert accountant" Mr.. Bookkeeper
(who is working can expert account
ant, my son, is bookkecper who is
out Of job"
Dr.. Brush q won Ter why Barguet
always speaks OF his wife ~ dream ?"
Mrs Brush-'I suppose because she
always goes by contrlrios. Mount
Vernon Echoes
yes" remarked Mrs. Malaprops,
sit was a great sight. FrsCcame the
king, carrying skeptic in his hand
and wearing n beautiful red mantle all
trimmed with vermlu. 1t was grand
sight. Truth
Mrs. Markctmade Extraordinarily -
"Anu you not married yet, Hulda?
Really, | think the men must be
blind" Huldu-" That's what Aunt
Maria said when you were married"
Boston Transcript
Cholley Chumpey IL see that ear
rings are coming into fashion agaia.
Have your ears ever been bored?"
Miss Caustic -"What question:
Haven't 1 often listened to your
acknowledgements Post
Did you manage to explain to
your wife why You got home 80 late
last night?' said the convivial friend.
"Y-yes." what did she say?"
".5he said she wished CO Id be lit
tie more original. - Washington Star.
Apprentices to butcheD Master
wants threepenuy worth of ham,
sliced, and would You please wrap it in
the continuation OF the story as you
sent him the first chapter of with thu
Bausagos yesterl lay. Lustige Blaot-
ter.
Tommy-"Do You say Your prayers
every night?' Jimmy Eyes" "And
does your NAV say hers?" eyes"
'And does your paw" 'Naw. Paw
don't need TO- It's almost daylight
when he gifts TO bed. Cincinnati Tri.
bunc.
In the Reserves: Mistress ''Why,
Netti, you are II nice grill What are
you doing with two sweetheArts?"
Mmi1-"Oh : plelse, mn'am, I have
only one. The other only comes when
the one is III or on furlough 49,
Neuoste Nachrichton.
Tommy Bingo -"5istcr bad her
young man call to see her last night,
and / was peeping throu gh the KEY.
hole, looking Ht them, when ma came
L.. 4 90 !
son -"What did she do?' Tommy
Bingo -'ohe took look. - T.t-Bits.
Grandfather -''Nevcr Gu a knot,
my son; it's shameful waste. At
ways unite 10. Grandson lwho goes
to school what? Aud ret my
hands full of microbes from the
fingers of tine person who tied it?
think its cheaper to cut IT. grandpa"
Good Sew ~,
MI. Musical vOrei@RPfT is said. vii,
n4u explosives to 90 off. and
this must De SO, else WIN docs the old
man who lives upstairs get 30 mad ut
the youth who rOoms below and de.
votes his evenings To- INSERTING his
lungs into ON ivory late. -Rocslaud
WEI Tribune.
What lesson should we learn.
Wendell, asked enc Sunday.school
teacher IRON this story oi demon
i1col possession cone OF the les
sons we should learn from it, replied
tine ltdc Boston boy, "ls that the
word demonaou is accented on ths
anteponultimot, Chicago Tri5une.
Insr' VISA sign upon rsr,
Ihg' -igu was Paint
And evfry mortal tnat went bv.
Sinner cad saint
Put ou. finger. .ouslei Che f,nes
Ani onward sped.
And as they wiped their nnesr lirF-.
"it H. they said.