The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1895-06-27
PuNaENr PARAGRAPHS.


-She-"You mustn't forget that va
are engaged" He-"There's no dan,
ger. l haven't paid for the ring yet'
Life.
-Father-'So you wish to make my
daughter your wife?" Suitor-.'Well,
it's the only way 1 can see of becom-
ing your son-in-law. "-Tit-Bits.
-''Have you ever visited the cham.
Der of horrors at the museum" She
mo; but have seen the posters TO,
several magazines. Inter Ocean.
Mr.. Commonstock = But is the
count gifted with common sense?'
Daughter Indignantly y should
hope not, papa He's a nobleman."-
Boston Post.
Are there any more jurymen who
have a prejudice against you?" in
quired the lawyer. mo, sab. de jury
am all right, but l want to challenge
the judge. "-Green Bag.
-'Slimson is in fair way of max.
ing fortune" What at?' HE in.
vented contrivance by which two
people can make love while riding
their wheels. brooklyn Life.
Bills Little Jest-"There is some.
thing about you," remarked Rubber.
neck Bill, as he gently removed the
travellers money belt, there is some.
thing about you that like. Indian.
apolis Journal.
-"Oh, how delightful" exclaimed
the artless young creature at the re.
ception. you are an authoress!" 81
presume" replied the Boston celebrity,
with cold smile, 81 am what you
would call a novelistess." - Chicago
Tribune.
-Hoax-"I told him whopping big
lie to square myself" Joax-"Did il
make an impression on him?" Hoax
Not exactly; it simply strengthened
the impression he had already formed
of me. ''-Philadelphia Record.
I hear" said the Cheerful Idiot,
that they are liking of revising the
costume of the Goddess of Liberty"
"And what will it be, pray?" asked the
typewriter boarder, who has wheel.
Red, white and boomers, said the
Cheerful ldiot.-Indianapolis Journal.
What is the use of seeking wealth,
Destroying soul and brain,
Since folks declare who have been there
1t nothing gives but pain:
But all the secret here we greet;
1t is the kind OF pain that's sweet
Boston Courier.
The burglar turned with a sheer
of malignant triumph. If you shoot
me-" he Kissed, you'll wake the baby"
There was nothing to do but permit
him to load all the silver into sack
and carry it away, leaving the front
door open behind him.-Detroit Trib-
une.
1t is said there is a language of the
hair. We see no reason to doubt this
assertion. At any rate we have heard
of well authenticated cases where a
single blonde hair on dark coat col
lar has talked palmer than a guide
post and furnished material for whole
course of lectures.-Truth.
Now, sir" said the professor OF
medicine, you may tell me to what
class of maladies insomnia belongs"
''Why-er-" replied the indolent youth,
Its contagious disease" II never
heard it SO described. Where did you
learn of this?" From experience.
Whenever my neighbours dog can't
sleep, I'm just as wakeful as he is."-
Washington Star.
She had now become desperate.
Your family has a grand name" he
observed. Il would prefer almost
any other" she rejoined with a
promptness sufficient to suggest that
she had given the subject thought.
After time she sat as one in trance
and wondered what would be the
chances OF his tumbling if wheat
elevator were to precipitate itself upon
him-Detrnit Tribune