Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-11-20
WiGGLESWORTH WASN'T SICK.
A Sunday School Excursion and VIII
Happened Thereon.

settled on water excursion for its annual
summer outing and Willie Wigglesworth
came home filled with it.
"Will gof" said Mr.. Wigglesworth
grandly. "Of course I'll go. And I'll
show ye how to take day off and enjoy
yourself too. If your mother wants to
hang around the house here and be a
mummy, she can, but l don't propose to
dry up that way"
The day was bright and a royal breeze
from the northwest filled the air with in
MIGRATING life and made the waves in the
harbor to dance merrily. The steamboat
Daniel Webster, gay in bunting, lay at
the wharf while the children swarmed on
board and fell over things that were APP
parently made for land people to fall over.
The Wigglesworth party arrived just as
the lines were casting of and the paddles
entering upon their preliminary ohurning.
Mrs Wigglesworth had the basket in one
hand and Willie in the other, and her face
was very red with haste.
With much shouting and pulling and
some language on the part Of the deck
hands that didn't accord with the charao-
ter of the picnic, but which seemed in .
measure justified Mrs. Wigglesworth and
Willie were hoisted over the rail and Mr..
Wigglesworth followed, trailing his white
duck trousers over rope that appeared to
have been newly tarred expressly for that
purpose.
"Glad to see you here" said the minis
ter, cordially shaking Mr.. Wigglesworth s
hand and getting some Of the tar of it,
eyes, I thought I'd come, /" responded
that gentleman, gloomily contemplating
his trousers.
"DelightfulP' the minister said with
enthusiasm. "We are large party and 1t
rejoices my heart to behold the little folks
In their fresh young life and exuberance
of spirits"
"That's so, assented Mr.. Wigglesworth,
somewhat Modified as the salt breeze be-
gan playing through his whiskers.
Gathering speed, the Daniel Webster
clave the dancing waters, the flags daunt-
ed bravely, a brass band on the upper deck
crashed into the measures of "A Life on
the Ocean Wave,n and boys Of remarkable
smallness began to implore their mothers
for cake Mr. Wigglesworth, cooking his
wide brimmed straw hat rakishly to one
side, started for stroll about the deck.
Don't leave me, Ellery," pleaded his
wife, II beg Of you"
"What's the matterP" querulously re-
piled Mr.. Wigglesworth. Think we're
going to strike on the rocks and go down
with all hands-with tar on emf" he add
cd, glowering at his own.
"These boats are never safe," Mrs. Wig
ellsworth limited.
II guess this one Is, }" retorted her hus-
band They've got her tied with rope.
What ye 'fraid of, anyway Think some
body's going to bore hole in her and
sink her SOS to drown the whole Of us
and get our life insurance."
"But-but suppose it should tip overs"
suggested Mrs. Wigglesworth, clutching
neryously at her husbands arm.
"Yah!'' exclaimed Mr.. Wigglesworth,
shaking off her grasp, "what ye think 1t
Is, lanlpP Puts We in mind Of center
table with vase on 1t, prob'ly. Why
can't We act rational, now we've got me
out herep What's the use coming on an
excursion II ye can't enter into and enjoy
yourself, same's I do?"
"But I begin to feel sick, Ellery," ex-
pOStulated his wife,
"That's it!' Mr.. Wigglesworth cried;
''that's the way to have a good time.
Come out here for fun and then call for q
Doctors certificate the first thing. Why
didn't ye stay at homer What's the use
breaking out into society that way and
spelling the whole thing?"
Under the soft side Of an island, near
the mouth of the harbor, the Daniel Web
ster lay to, while the excursionists, with
merry hearts, opened their baskets and
had dinner. Men and women of high
character, but low digestive faculties,
flung themselves into perfect abandon Of
hard boiled eggs and pie, while the min.
lister, special favorite, had something
from every basket. Children with jam on
their fingers came and took hold of pure
white dresses belonging to their maiden
aunts and begged for more Washington
pie and got it. Young men in the first
faint flush Of early mustaches took theil
third and fourth cream tarts, and smear
ing some of the cream over the lnustaches
left 1t there, and thus established in thu
eyes Of the world what they were striving
to accomplish. Maidens, giddy with ex'
element, spilled uncounted glasses of lem
onade into the laps of their lawn dresses
and laughed aloud. Even Mr.. Wiggles
worth, under the excitement of the mo
ment, forgot his dyspepsia and loaded
himself to the muzzle.
Then Vhe Daniel Webster turned PROV
for home. The local papers have OK
planned how the wind had Unexpectedly
whipped around to the southeast and gont
to prying up the lower waters, over whose
crested and yeasted tops the Daniel Web
ster nov went rockily careering, but mont
of their columns has been equal to AIDE
quately setting forth the scenes that thu
decks Of the steamer speedily presented
Nor does the present historian consider
himself equal to that emergency.
Mr.. Wigglcsworth, his hat blown over
board and smears Of jelly mingled will
the tar on his white duck trousers, stag
gered aft along the deck. Mrs. Wiggles
worth saw him coming and tottered for
ward.
"O-o-h.h, Elleryl" she moaned, falling
Imply about his neck.
Get outl'' shouted Mr.. Wigglesworth
his pale face twitching in passion. "Wha
ye trying to act out now?''
"Oh, feel $3.50 sickl' groaned hi
wife.
.'Sickr" snorted Mr.. Wigglesworth
struggling to get free. what that got {,
do With ltp Wha'd ye s'pose when =,
came out here? Didn't ! tell ye how
'twould bep Ever know me to miss 1t
Lego my neckl"
Saying this, he wrenched himself loos
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