Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1895-01-22
GOT THE HEN DRUNK.
A ROcUlsH cAcKlER BROKEN FROM
SCRATCHING UP SEED CORN.
The Farmer Took tho Parsons Advice,
Soaked His Barley In Liquor. and Was.
Not Troubled Further.


reporters room perusing with some de-
gree Of pleasure the literary gems that
| had contributed to the paper the day
before, when 4 rustic civilian ambled
ewkwardly into the Office With a good
natnred smile ami "good-morn!ng-ms-
ter" he removed a straw hat from his
brow and a bag from his shoulder.
yes, I am one Of the reporters" I
said. in reply to his query. Want to
tell me about the Chrlstmas-tree enter
tanment at your church or renew your
subscription % the paper?'
Neither. Ny name is John Wayback.
AMI live in Caroline county. usually
come 10 town about the first Of the year
and bring down some nice fresh eggs
that the old womin has been keeping in
salt since summer. X Is no trouble to
work them OFF on Manchester people;
and then. to-. | Ike 10 get In a full
! supply Of good resolutions. which are al
ways abundant in Richmond a this sea-
son OF the year. and can be gotten cheap
and on tick. But have good story
want 10 tell you. II you think it worthy
Of publication ana Will make a nice ac-
count of it,
Certainly; will make beautiful ac-
count Of it. provided the city editor is
not troubled with dyspepsia to-day He
has A big blue pencil and when he is
not feeling very we'll We re-
poriers can hardly tell the next day the
matter we furnished for the paper. How
ever. I Will Do my best, 50 90 ahead with
your story"
"Well. have a nelghbor who lives
across the road from me, AMI his wife
had rather raise chickens than 30 To
preachln' son the NTH Sunday. She IS
one - those unfOrtunates who sam
Jones says the Lord has thrown OF on
AMI she has no children. She devotes her
time - these chickens. AmongSt her
fock IS an old specklel. buffalo hen-a
regular old PUllel Holstein cackler, That
was once the banc Of my existence anu
caused me t. make use Of expressions
that would not have sounded well Al Il
Methodist camp-mee,ing.
"In the spring when ! was planting
Woods garden seeds this old female
gallinaceous creature would come over
and scratch up every one That put IN the
ground. Her propensity for tearing up
the earth was equal 70 patent htrfo"
rake. and there was about as much use
Of my planting corn and tomato seed as
it would be t. try and have a bruins
wick stew without these vegetables IL
was fearfully annoying. and | did every
blessed thing | could to keep her away.
| chased the vile creature out or the
enclosure repeatedly, threw bricks ana
household goods at her. but the horr'd
wretch didn't care cent.
zone morning as knocked n plank off
Of thrown
az the Old hon. and sailed my hat at
her. accompanied by an adjective as she
disapuearnd across the road, the parson
rode M with a benign smile and linen
buster.
John, John, John, What was that
you said" inquired the ecclesiastical gem
tlenan as h. placed his gioved hand in
my paw.
Brother peepwater. that old hen would
make You forget your calling II you had
her 10 contend with for twenty-four
hours" / said. | love nice garden. ana
take pride I'm cultivating Tn" squashes
and cucumhers and other things but no
sooner than my back T. turned after
nIantin, the seeds that speckle1 vixen
scratches them all up again ana eats
them. Of course"
IN tell you what % DO" said the
parson Make her drunk" and with
merry good-by lie cantered down the road.
road.
Capital ides " thought. and 1t makes
me laugh now as ] think Of the result
of Brother Deepwater's suggestion Sc
curing handful Of barley, | soaked II
in the strongest whiskey | could buy In
the county and planted ii. then went
into the house and watched. ana in
few moments the old Pclled HOlstein hen
was digging away at the drugged seeds.
II called all the members Of the family
70 see the fun and IT wasn't long before
1t began. After eating about half the
seed that had been planted the old cackler
became unsteady and would pick two or
three times at one OF the grains Then
she would stand Off little and with
sde-way look seem to wonder what was
the matter with her aim or that grain Of
barley. Then she would try again and
after several efforts would get IT, Then
she seemed 10 imagine that the row the
seeds were planted in was about three
feet high and she would make n motion
when scratching as though she were try
ing to step over the garden fence In
about half an hour she was Keeling around
the garden with the biggest Jag on that
you ever saw and evidently looking Tor
Ashland or some other Kelley institu-
ton.
well. she was just the drunkest old
hen that ever tried to walk on wings
and | really felt sorry for her. She
seemed 70 want To tell her distress TO
her hiped cousins and sisters, but she
couldn't cackl. for hiccOughing and ran