Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-10-24

HoaX-Why do you call your hunting
dog Indian? Joax-Because he's al
ways on the scent.-Philadelph Rec
ord.
He delighted with new play)-Isn't
it grand? She-Perfectly lovely! 1t
must have been made by Worth!-New
York Weekly.
barley is in dreadful trouble
whats the matter-got into debtF'
''No; that's just the trouble. Nobody'll
trust him, and he can't" -Harpers Ba-
gar.
In judgment now / daily err,
AS cycles past me whirl;
l gaily call Good morning, sir!'
Then find it was a girl.
-Pearson's Weekly.
He-Dearest, my whole heart is de-
voted to you. She.But how about your
pocketbook? He-Excuse me, but l
was thinking about yours.-Boston
Transcript.
Hello. Jasman, where are you living
''And where is your wife living?" ooh
why-with her father.
natl Enquirer.
"Cleopa ira S needle weighs 1870 tons
or so | have been told" said Harkaway.
Il don't wonder she preferred flirting
to sewing" commented Dawson.-Har-
per's Bazaar.
Hotel Clerk-Sir. the visitor in No. 80
complains that the room is haunted.
Landlord Then put down on
his bill, zone ghost. 10 marks. H Offer
Stadtanzeiger.
Weary Watkins-The doctors say we
ought to eat more cereal food. Hungry
Higgins-They is too much Of the serial
business about our style of eatin' al
ready.-Indianapo Journal.
Hello, are you back?' said Squildig
to McSwilligen. as the latter came in
after weeks absence. mo; I've just
gone" replied McSwilligen, mildly
Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
The melancholy days have come,
When man bewails his lot;
The leaves we know too well, will fall:
The price of coal will not.
Washington Star.
Hoax-I never saw such an impudent
policeman as that one. Joax-ThatS
not surprising. He couldn't be cop
per without a large percentage OF brass
in his compostion.-Phil Philadelphia Rec
ord
SDecula tor--Is there any money in in
ventions? Manufacturer--NOt as much
as there used to be. The inventors are
getting SO smart now that they actually
demand a share of the profts.-Brook-
lyn Eagle.
There are some cases." said the
young man. lin which scientists say
that smoking is beneficial "Um-yes, y
replied the man of years. Its good
thing for ham, for instance. '-Wash-
ington Star.
what principles are you going to adj
yocate in the next town. asked the
campaigner's private secretary. Il
dunno You get the next train there,
and find out what their views are. =
Washington Star.
Softly-Your trip to the mountains
seems to have benefited you. Bilkins
1t has made different man of me.
Softly-Is that so. Then what has be-
come of the man | loaned $40 to when
you left the city?
When winds do blow, predicting snow
And all is sere and brown;
The festive tramp breaks summer camp
And rambles back to town.
philadelphia Record.
Punster Ito ballet dancer)-You peo-
pie are almost always old. Ballet
Dancer-Yes, and you can take the
word almost out of the jokes that
YOU people try to make about us.-Phil-
adelphia Bulletin.
Dudely-Do you think Miss Elderkin
is serious in her intentions regarding
me? Chumleigh-You bet do. Dude
ly-Well, say now, honestly. do you
think she means matrimony or adop-
ton ?-Chicago Record.
Lawyer-Have you formed any opin-
ion on this case? Juryman-No, sir.
DO you think. after the evidence on
both sides is all in. you would be able
to form any Opinion! No, sir.
you'll do."-Nev- York Weekly.
Nj. Spinks-W Well, Willie mas your sis,
ter made up her mind tc go to the con-
cert with me? Willie-Yep. She's
made up her mind, and she's making up
her face now She'll be down in a
m.nute--The Great Divide.