davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1895-03-08
CAUSE ron KICKING.
The Confidential bakers Encounter with
m Insurance Agent.

m Insurance agent
"Vait till kick Of minescli.n said
ihe confidential baker. "Not | kick
Of minosolf vorl Because vos a tam
WOOL Iadst August man gone In
hero. and no says; "'Mino vifo und
me viii take Of our breakfast nero. und
viii hay you OF tho end Of der week.
Und / say. Dot vos all rights be-
cause no vas dressed init pig style. und
his wife vos shoost ~ sweet looking as
baby. Dot vos on q Toosday, und
next Toosday morgon his wife como
all alono und say dot hor husband vos
seock. und she would init hcr carry his
breakfast. IND I say. 'Sho" und she
say, Yah und look 10 sad dot but
moron FIVE shcnts extra coffee In the
pitcher vot she prings nit hor. IND
next day ven ho gone oack 10 preak.
fast he no say holdings about bay"
"And what did you sayP"
"Me, Veil, say holdings. too, be-
cause, ven they como In, she smile
and say. You sec. Mishtor Diotch. no
yos pottor to-tay,' und schmilo too
und don't say holdings about der bay
so. II goes on for yiyo vocks. und don
day don't gone no more, und am
aout tcrvolf dollar und halloi."
"You never saw them again. thonpn
yah. | do sec them again. / SEQ
thcm shoOst now. und dot IL vhyfore
kick Of mincsclf. vos boosting der
charlotter rushe ven hear sOmopody
say. 'Goot tay. Mr. Dlctch, und dor
vos dis man und his wife. und poioro
| can't say anydings no say. Mr..
Dictch. owe you q tccriGc, poliovc.
und shut hov bay you pcforo, but I
hoy der city away from boom lind
With that no put his hand TO his prcst
bogit, 20. und say, How mooch vas
10, Mr.. Dictch" Torvcli dollar und
"a hallcf ! say. und no say no vos
gcs.od dat vos aboud II, und bull
aout his bogit pook ven his wife
pullit him dor arrum by und say.
Don't forged aboud der lnshooranz.
VIM IND he say, 'py -hminy, !
commit dor ace OF yorgodding aboud
H. You sec, he say. i am Won in
snshooranz angund und mine wife say.
Wy not aslSo dot gut Mr.. Dlctch ocf he
viii not insure his life. 80 mako out
der bolIcy for zwci iousand dollar. und
hero 10 vas Ind his wife smile und
say # vos der pest company
In town. und would hollup vim, b.
cause dor brcmium would go mt der
pin. So like u tam WOOL | say AN
right und dal,o der bollcy, und den
Vim say dor premium vas kortwonty
dollar. und II glf seven dollar und a
hallci Il would bc hallof slSowarc be-
dwccn ms und ] pay ct; yes, sir, bay
ot' und den doy go away schmiling,
und | schmilo too, maybe, on the
upside down OF mcir waco. Say, dol
yos brctly slick. Ell? Oxcuso mo, vile
/ kick mincsoli once moro for ver.
richtcn jackass."
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1895-03-08
THEY DO BUT JEST.

McSwattcrs, In dime museum How
much do you weigh without clothes
ON? Living skeleton Why, II didn't
have me toys ON | wouldn't weigh
anytingw
"Er man." said Uncle Eben, IAN in
titled to his own opinions Hit am
only when he tries ter mex some
body err present ob EN- dat lac gifts
disagreed
Voice NJ the Head OF the Stairs
Georgc, have you been drinking?
George-No'm. Voice Say ohrysan'
themums George, silent moment
Tin drunlSsh, m dcarl
What was the principal object Of
interest In America when you were
thcrc?" Tho eminent British novel.
list looked at his qucstioner with
chilling scorn and rcplied' II was,
| of course"
lone Of the hardest things know
Of" said the author lis TO get ex'
actly the right word in the right
I place" YES" replied the impscuni.
GUS friend take the signature to a
check for instance. Washington
star.
lyon didn't enjoy being m advance
agent9" mo" replied tho young
man, lit was too monotonous. hat
to divide my attention between bill
boards the first OF the week and bill
boards the last and II grew weari'
some"
Father-Why don't you work, m!
son? II you only knew how mucl
happiness work brings you would be
gin at once, Son Father am try
} ing TO lead life Of self.denial 4
. which happiness cuts no figure, d
, not tempt me.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1895-03-08

running downward and forward from
the smokestaCk Go the track in front.
On this inclinol piano rails are laid.
aud these rails arc continued along n
platform which runs over the top Of
the engine and for the entire lcugih Of
the train. descending 10y another in
clincd plano 70 tho track at the rear.
Imagine that train A Is rounding a
curve at the ratio Of fifty miles an
hour. Train Is Is seen approaching
on the same track from the opposite
direction. A collision Is inevitable.
Both engineers shut OF steam and put
down brakes; but Il Is too late. No
power on earth, apparently. can pre-
vent a catastrophe which may cost
scores Of lives. Astonishing 10 OBJ
serve, the locomotives come together.
or nearly. and train u glidcs up tho
Inclined plano In front OF train A. runs
along over the top Of train A and
down the inclined plane at the rear
end, rosuming the track again. loot,
toot' Choo. chooi And both trains
go on their way rejoicing.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1895-03-08
DANES IN NEW YORK.
Their Number IL small aud They Are
Noted for Observance Of the law.

iher NUMBER IL small aud They Are
Motel for Observance Of the law.
In his speech Of presentation at tho
unwilling Of tho Thorwaldscn statue
In this city recently, George Kirkc-
gard said.
''ln this country wo Danes do not
number many compared with other
nations, but although few In number
We are not less interested In the well
fare Of this. our adopted home says
tho Now York sun.
Both statements arc accurate. Tho
Danos In the United States are not
numerous; and thoy are marked In
thoir scrupulous obedience 70 the
laws and their patriotic discharge of
all tho duties Of citi Ionshlp. There
wore, according to tho last federal
census. 10000 nltiyos Of rcnmark
IN tho United States Tho great ma
lority Of The q arc to DO found In the
agricultural districts o. the north
west, and very few, relatively. In the
big citlcs. There are only 900 Danes
Ia New York city, 1000 in Chicago.
1000 In Brooklyn l,TOD IN San Fran.
G SEQ and Loco each In Minneapolis
and 81. Paul Tho American city
wh .ch has Ia proportion 10 IT, total
population tho largest number Of
Dan sh inhabtant, Is Omann, which
contains 1910 DuncI out OF a total
foreign population Of lp.COl.
Tho Danes In New York city. are.
as n rule, pcaccablc and law.abiding
citizens. The total number OF Danes
arrested In this city was l35 In 1892
and l0j In 1898. but these figures
would bo misleading II not accom-
panied 10y the statement that major
ityof tho uri.nncrs wore not actua
residents OF tho city. but sailors tom.
porarlly In New York. Tbougb tho
number Of Danish inhabitants 81 i,, :.
York city Is very small. New York
doe, quite u largo trade with Den
MARI. and It's volume l. likely TO boz
come Increased now that Copenhagen
has become free port Tho Copon-
hagen steamers brought 10 this har-
Dor last year 1900 passengers. and
the value Of American exports shipped
10 Denmark amounted 10 81. 100000.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1895-03-08

"You aver" said the black browod
bandit. "that you arc the celebrated
cantatrlco. Mile Squallklna. Prov,
II and you are FREQ. Never shall II
bo said that Cuttawco1anda would
offer indignity to an opera soprano
II IL against all the tonots OF the pro-
fcssion.n
GLOW shall provo my IDENTIFY
asked the captive.
"By singing, OF course"
What. Sing In this cave Nc
bouquets. no steam heat and not a
cent In tho boX.o.liooP Noyor!'
"Gontlcmon,' said the bandit, ut Is
evident that tho lady Is what she
claims TO bo, Escort hor to the near
est village and SGT hor FREQ. Indian
1polis journal.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1895-03-08

tricc. don't know what ! should
have done without him; these people
In brittany are delightfully."- pietur-
esqus and all that but somehow my
French does not seem 90 penetrate
beneath their caps ! can hardly make
them undorsiand a thing I want"
Mrs Merydith laughed.
II don't think George has ever been
credited with celestial qualities be-
fore; but now tell me, how do you
like this placer
Charming Exquisite, and so ro-
mantle"
"What cnthusiasml I hardly cN'
pcctcd such rnpturcs though To be
surc they are well deserved" and
Mrs Mcrydith glanced apprcciativoly
round the long low oak.panellcd
room with ~ old-iashioncd bahut its
qua ~ pictures, aud heavily carved
chairs
"Thc whole adventure $50 delight
full Fancy Aunt Felicia leaving me
sweet. little, old.fashioncd house
IN brittany Mn 20 myself, on condition
that I live Ia Il for three months
every year There Is something "a
charmiugly unreasonable about tall
ANYHOW, here am, ready 10 fulhll
everything 10 tho letter What a
lovely coincidence that you and your
husband should bc settled here, too?"
eve have spent several springs at
Maryaus. GEORGE likes the scenery,
and be- ends he eau work bottcr here
than anywhere.
"Ycs-it must be very mic, 10 be
married TO some one clever and
learned aud all that, only u my hus'
baud wrote novels and plays, should
always be afraid he'd put mo In one
Of thcnl There's no fear OF that
with poor Leslie, however -"
"Mr Travcrs will join You here, Of
coursc7" asked Mira Merydith.
"Lcsiio2 Certainly not! My dear
beatrice. everybody can't 20 Ia for
the ultramatrimonlal like you and
Gcorgei My husband and arc tho
best ~ friends; aud we think the less
wear aud tear we give our conjugal
bills, the longer II is likely To last 80
while am fulfilling tho conditions Of
my aunrs will and cuitivatinR my
complexion at Maryaux, my lord aud
master il devotinF himself to rouge
ct nolr at Monte Carlo"
Mrs, Merydlth knew hor friend too
well TO bs astonished ut this sortie
from her earliest youth stephanle
hnd In virtue OF pair OF innocent
blue eyes aud u quantity OF rebellious
bright hair, been allowed n certain
irrcsponsibllity Of speech and man.
ncr Few p,oplo-hersclf Included
had ever drcamt OF taking little Mrs
Travers seriously. Perhaps mothers
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1895-03-08

now AnsuRp, now RIDICULOUS"
with manageable daughters, and
elderly wives with volatile husbands
were the only ones who regarded her
otherwise than indulgently.
You'll have some tea, Bcatrice2'
asked Stephanie rs she moved toward
the old.fashioned bell'ropo.
"roa? You don't mean 20 say you
have made them get you tea here2"
Certainly, my dear. | imported
the teapot and the tea, and your
good husband made them realize the
hot water aud tho tray"
You're marvell" laughed Mrs
Merydith, as she pulled OIL her gloves
aud drew one Of her heavy oalSon
chairs up TO the ANAL table which
stood by the couch on which her
friend had seated herself.
Not at all, only understand the
art ~ living my dear
Meantime neat tea.tray had mad'
ats appearance and Mrs. Travors cas-
"a triumphant glance at her com
panion.
'Not BAD after a ten days stay, Il it9
You've done wonders, Stephie. |
a. quito like being at home Have 20
made friends with any one here yet?
"a haven't spoken TO soul bu
your husband and the old woman /
the market"
~ only hope you won't find III
place terribly dun
stephanie gave her pretty head
toss
Il don't think so"
There are not many people her
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1895-03-08

Tho salt cellar dates back to remote
times. and that is natural, since the
first use OF salt Is lost in obscurity,
Among the wealthy II was OF silver
and gold, and was handed down from
father to sou. Bonyonuto Collini
chased some for Francis |. that were
OF tho most exquisite workmanship.
There are likewise some beautiful
specimens In faienco, and at the
Louvre may bo seen those made al
Orion for tho celebrated set called IA,
service OF Diana OF Poltiers, or o.
Horny II. Although salt cellars were
lilSowlse made Of very common earth
cnwarc, at ordinary ropasts the sal
collar was often "A pioco Of bread hol
lowed out TO receive the salt, aud thi
was placed noar each guest,
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1895-03-08
coULp Nor rlND "MARIER..


The Guidc uoot bu rri cutie Come
Up to ills IRp.stitionDi
They were standing at the corner
Of Madison and state streets and
seemed thoroughly lost In the roar Of
the traffic and the busii.ng crowd on
the sidewalk. II was very evident
10 the Chicago Times man, that this
was their Gr-t visit 70 the city. and
equally evident that they were newly
welded pair on their honeymoon trip.
a gentleman who had all the ear
marks " broker al.o stood on the
corner, stopping for some reason not
apparent. unless 10 was 10 observe the
bowildcrmcnt of the two strangers,
on whom his Dyes were intontly fixed.
Presently tho male member Of the
pair caught this genileman's eye, and
a look Of infinite relief sprang into
his own. lilo said something 10 the
young woman, and left hcr side 10 APP
proach the broker. whom ne accostcd
as follows:
"Yow belong to the city, don't yew.
now?"
"Ycs, sir" replied the broker, good.
naturally.
"Bin hero long?" was the next
query.
IAN my lie" answered the broker,
smilingly.
81 guess ycw was bred on born
hero" said the countryman. confdon-
TALLY.
That's about it, replied the
broker. still smiling and willing To
humor him, though for the life Of him
he could not imagine what he was
trying TO &c, at
"Wcll,' said the stranger. after
pausing rallcciivcly. "sccms TO mo
yow oughtcr know something about
1t, big a. 1t u.s."
81 ought admitted tho broker.
III there's anything ! can do for you
I'll do II with pleasure"
"Wcll,thcrdow ! a some pinis guess
ycw could give mo ~ would b. kinder
useful. Ycw SEQ. lt's like this. Down
tow our town / was sort Of u all
round sport an was pretty generally
looked on rs u dcyll Of follow, but
up hero | don't seem to BIZ anythin'. |
tell ycw, mister, feel it-in her oycs.n
cit Is rather awkward. b" replied the
broker. sympithctIcllly. What You
need Is a guide book 20 the city That
will tell you everything you want to
know. just stop up the street a lttlo
and I'LL show you store where you
can got one
"Can l leave Maricr standing
thcro?'
III YOU think II necessary
"lt be-"
Gan right; come along
The Accommodation brokcr No.
companlcd him 10 statloncry s,nro
and selected a guide book Co.,. Li,,.
then, Us no said he would like 10 ioni,
t. over a spell before he Joined Marior
he lott him to go up town.
Elm over 30 much o'blocgod 10 YOU,
mister" was his final remark. "You
have been real kind and done heap
fer Maricr.n
Some hours later the broker jumped
from cable car aud saw his whiiom
country friend proppcd up against IL
lamp-post studying the guido book with
bullying eyes and contracted brow.
'Ah" exclaimed the broker. ,.what
are you doing horo?"
why said the conniryman. look.
ing up with start, "rm tryln' tow
locate Marlor, but the blamed thing
don't say word about the place loft
hor.n
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1895-03-08

Reindeer aro now success Ia
Alaska. says DIR. sheldon jackson.
general education agent for Alaska.
who has late arrived In Seattle from
Port Clarence. The animals arc
thriving finely. and the lnplandors
imported by the government TO teach
the EslulmauN how 10 raise and train
tho roln lccr are succeeding well In
their work. Two hundred fawns
were born at Port Clarence last
spring, and there are now somo $50
reindeer In the herd there. Noxt
January two herds Of 100 each arc TO
b, turned over TO the natives DR.
jackson thinks tho successful intro
ductlon Of the reindeer has solved tho
problem Of what will bccom, Of tho
fsluimaux whom all OF the seals have
disappeared.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1895-03-08
pur,,Ion a, I.lrh,nI,r II,.he,.

by using at measured distance In
front OF u photogra HE camera an ink
or mercury dropper liboratIng drops
In rapid succession 20 one another G..
Is, Warner, OF Wormloy, near Bro.
bourne. has curiously Illustrated an
exceedingly interesting method Of es-
timating tho duration OF light
thing flashes. Mr.. Warner has
made negative showing the
flashes, the images OF which are
distorted by relractlon due to rain
drops falling close 10 tn, Photographic
lens tho aperture Of which was, pre-.
sumably. Of small diameter,
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1895-03-08

Malno's two Indian tribes, the Pc
nobscots and the Passamaquaddys
wcar the dress OF the whites and for
the most part have adopted tholr ways
OF living. But tho nomadlc splri,,n-
still strong within Thorn. and no yori-
mer finds parties cam0occs maxine
and soliIng l,"."i6d purses aud woven
grass md basket work trlnkets' while
Inc saunws turn many silver piece
by toll " fortunes In some wood
lot. where the ash trco that supplies
them with working material Is plonti-
mi. thew sometimes build their camps
of LOGS and sapllngs, rooted with bark
or shingles and well climbed with
moss. There II a feeling among own
ors Of forest lands In Malno that tho
Indians. rs first proprletors, have u
claim TO reside In tho wilderness
wherever they choose, and, Us they
are pcaceablo and do little damage TO
valuable forest growth, permission to
occupy piece OF woodland is seldom
refused thom.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1895-03-08

Tho late Father llcalcy 10 com
plain that II was sometimes painful
duty TO 1.-Two up 10 the character Of a
wit. ono night, when tired, ho
sighed and groanod To think that his
car.man expected joke Of him. hut
no was kind. and would not refuse
the first chance OF contentlng tho
man. A donkey brayod, and Father
Iloalcy said. across the cart; "Woll,
do you hear your brother calling you,
Ihomast" Quick camo the response
,Indeod an do. fathor,' with tro
mondous emphasis ON tho father
Argonaut
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1895-03-08

Mrs. wayupp-I sympathllo with
You dearly. II must bo worry painful
To lose u fortune.
Mrs lliuck Its terrible! Whor
We were rich We used nothing but IN,
most exquisite antique furniture, bu
it's all gone, every piece.
Mrs, Wayupp Tho new furniture
which You have hero looks worry com
Portable.
Mrs. rluck That's the trouble,
IL 80 comfortable that am continual
~ reminded OF tho awful fact that
Is not antique.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1895-03-08

"pid you iorecloso tho mortgage
Johnson's mulePN
"Yes.n
"What did he doPn
"Kickod,n
"Mhop Johnson?N
"Nol tho mulem
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1895-03-08
Mn, n,m,rl.,hie m,Il.tnrm

The most wonderful hailstorm o
record rs having occurred In Oh
United States was that at Dubuqu,
Iowa, Juno 10, 1882. II began az 2;S
d. m. and lasted but thirteen mlnute
but within that timo hail foil TO IN
depth OF three fcot, The hailstono
which weighed from one ounce to tW
and one-halt pounds, werc Of all kin,
Of fantastic shapes and were wov'
around rocks, sticks. earth beetle
frogs, etc.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1895-03-08

Another unchanged Whitehead tor
pedo has exploded, this time while
the French warshIp ConGance was
practlcing. Tho stnerinE gear won't
wrong. tho torpedo ran full speed
against rock ana the compressed air
blow II topicccs, scndlng some frag'
ments GOO feet away.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1895-03-08

The Jowessos Of st. Louis have
formed the Sisterhool OF Personal
Service, charitable organization
which will care for the poor OF their
own denomination and educate their
children,
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1895-03-08
In Memory OF II,Ins.tone.

A hospital In memory Of tho great
explorer and missionary, David Llv-
ingstOne, has been established at
hartford, England. Al the laying of
the corner stone the address was mado
by Henry NJ. Stanley.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1895-03-08

The longest timo during which Il
noto has remained outside tho Bank OF
England Is m years, II was for G25 =,
and II is computed that the compound
interest during that long period
amounted to no less than co, 600.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1895-03-08
rraIneh WIN a rnknr

A man In Melbourne has train
kangaroo lie makes II jump Ia
distances by prodding It with a r
hot poker. Its longest jump is u
ty-four feet seven inches,
The oasis., 1895-09-14
lad
ACRossTHH BORDBrS

Yellow fever is raging at Vera Cruz in very malignant form. The death rate is exceptionally heavy. It is noted that patients do not perspire, and this induces fatal results.
 The CompaTia Industrial Mexicana at Chihuahua have just placed in posi- tion the new and powerful Corliss en- zine, built in their own shops. This is the first engine of its kind ever built in Mexico. It is destined to run the dynamo for the electric lighting of the city.
 General Rocha, Doctor Preciado ar d the seconds in the Verastegui-Romero duel case, will not appeal to the supreme court, but have accepted q second jury trial. There will probab- ly be a new judge in the case. Ro- mero's appeal will be heard the last of the month or early in October.
 The committee which went to Mex ico to invite President Diaz and his Cabinet to the Cotton States and h. ternational Exposition, found that the president was prohibited by law from leaving the country, but it is likely that Mrs. Diaz and the mem bers of the presidents cabinet will at tend.
 At Hermosillo, cook who had over turned coal oil lamp, the scattered oil from which, was suddenly all ablaze, poured upon the flame the con tents of can of milk which was, luckily, close at hand. The milk in- stantly subdued the flame, which water would not have done.
 Traffic is increasing so rapidly on the Tehuantepec National Railway that the government has just given orders that ten locomotives and large num- Der of passenger, freight and platform cars be brought from the United States. Traffic from the Pacific Coast to the eastern terminus of the road is excellent. Eight hundred men will be immediately put to work in the con- struction of the Puebla coal road, which promises to be one of the best paying lines in the country. The charter is liberal one, and Mexican capital is behind the undertaking. It is anoteworthy sign of good times that Mexicans are going in for railway building on their own account.
The oasis., 1895-09-14
Oppose the Census.

In Mexico there is some opposition to census which is to be taken Some of the Mexicans are inclined to regard the scheme as though it were labeled dangerous, handle with extreme care" But on the whole the census is welcomed as it will show just how the republic stands in population and general resources. The advanced sen- timent is voiced by the "Voice of the People" weekly journal published at Topic, which says editorially: Much might be said and written in making plain the importance of compiling q census of the population of the coun- try; and more, seeing that civilized nations take it constantly to learn their strength. We should not hold back, considering it from an economic stand point. From taxation point of view, there is no doubt but that the census will bring with it adyant- ages important to the government as well as to the tax payers whose duty it is to bear public burdens. The Knowledge of the number of the in- habitants of the nation, of the states, and other organized divisions will re- suit in an equitable distribution of taxes, the public offices will be organ ized adequately to the numerical strength of the population; and capi- tai and labor will produce better re- turns because they will have a com mon base from which to start"
The oasis., 1895-09-14
FRATERNAL SOCIETIES.

Nogn1e~- I~eoclRe No. e.
 10. c. I-,. Officers: Al Peck N G.; Richard II. Clarke. V. G.; U. B. Mix, T.; Ed. Pierson s. Regular meetings every Thursday evening at 7;3i o'clock. AL PECK, N. e.. E. L. PERSON. secy