River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-03-28
PlTn AND POINT.

--Hicts-''Gray says that he owes
everything to his wife, Wicks-'Oh,
no, that can't be. He owes me ten dol
lars. Boston Transcript
-Tom-.'D Didn't the encore unnerve
Miss Twitter?" Jess-''Not a bit; she's
used 10 having the neighbors pound ON
the floor when she sings. Judge.
What sort OF q person is Willough-
by, anyhow" Utterly negative. lie
has no mind at al. Why. really, that
fellow lets his wife buy his neekties.'
-Harpers Bazaar.
-Blobbs-"Do you think the aver
age man is as stupid before he mfrries
as he is afterward?H ,Cynicus- Scr
tainly, or he wouldn't get married -
Philadelphia Record
Mrs. Ashpen-'I found it almost
impossible this morning TO get man
to shovel snow" Mrs. Dustbin-"Poor
fellows! suppose thes're all too busy
looking for work. "-Rpxbury Gazette.
-"Trimmins has a frst-rate voice,
said the critic at the concert" but he
always comes in behind time "Yes,"
replied the man who lends money. II
guess it's force of habit. Trimmins'
notes are always overdue. Washing
ton Star.
-6ieorgc MY dear Miss Laura, the
highest wish | have in life is to
marry" Laura Gnterrupting HIM
You had better speak TO my mother"
George-"Oh, thanks. II never before
thought | had any chance" Laura
'Iknow she would like 20 marry again. :"
-Fliegende Batter.
His Idea of lt.-s'My dear" re-
marked Mrs. Smuggs TO her husband,
'what do you think ofthe anti-theater
hat bills now under consideration by
various legislatures. well, = nc re-
piled, reficctively, II have not given
them much thought, but If they are
anything like the hat Hills that come
before me. should uBhcsitatingly say
that it will take immense appropria-
tions To meet them; Detroit Free
Press.
"A newspaper funny man has in
vented not an absolutely fresh, but a
comparatively new joke upon very
old subject Mis-, Tintid was talking
about her own nervousness, and her
various night alarms4 Did you ever
find a man under Your bed, IRIS.
Bluff - she asked. sHes," said that
worthy woman. The night we thought
there were burglars in the house
found my husband There. Youths
Companion.
History Repeating Itself in Ad-
vance 'IIark.'' exclaimed the consul
as tremendous shout rushed up the
street and reverberai Jed through the
forum; what noise is that, Lucullus?
Mcthinks the Volsciaas must be COM
ing DER the wall" Nay" respondit
Lucullus, sit is only Johr. L. Spartacus
addressing the gladiators in tae arena
and offering to wager ten thousand
serstices against all comers." 'Sed ct
tuum,' unused the consul, softly, while
the sun, which had been going down
the Appian Way, with low shudder
vanished from sight.-Rockland Trib-
une.
MY friend, said the candidate for
sheriff of Cheyenne, drawing one
eyed stranger close 90 his means of
livelihood, do you want to make five
dollars easy to-night2" Yep" ''All
right. When ] say in, my speech, us
there man among you who will deny
this statement? you jump to your feet
in the rear of the hall.and shout, Yes,
sir, will. You are q liar and can
prove it, and read from this clipping.
Then will call you down and make
you ridiculous, but you will get the V.
nevertheless. Is it q go?" 'Nope. :"
"Why not?" Il tried the same thing
in Butte City year ago, and the can
didate jumped ON mo SO hard that the
audience kicked me OCT of the hall and
rode me out of town on a rail. didn't
get the five. either. Try it on some
one else-l've been, there. = Boston