Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-04-11

Cs8O Whcuo AuefhcO oHdo you Aos'
your all?
Everett Wrest-Yes, mum; all
save me honor = and an elegant
thirst.
His love, he said, was like the sea
The maiden answered quick
She thought that he was right in
that,
! Because. It made her sick. !,
IN THE NORTHWEST.
She with q newspaper)-Bark ID
the favorite fuel of the Northwest.
He-Suppose we suggest to our
neighbors next door that they send
that dog Of theirs out there.
OR, RATHER, SELLS.
4Kind hearts are more than coro-
nets"
But somehow with the bellies,
In choosing mates for life, it is
The coronet that tells.
HIS BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
Father-So, my dear boy, lavish
you many happy returns Of the day ;
and as reward for your diligence
and good conduct 1 will get the
dentist to draw that bad old tooth
Of yours that gives you so much
pain.
CHANGE DESIRED.
HOAX wish we might have q
little change in the weather.
Joax-What kind :?
Hoax--Well, I'd be satisfied II it
rained five cent pieces.
DESPERATE.
''Its my last chance" said Ii
Hung Chang, when he started for
Japan. IF don't make peace any
better than l made war / might as
we'll get my goods together and start
over for an American lecture tour"
NEEDLESS OF FARES.
Streeter-There goes a man that
has left great many behind him in
the race of life.
Meeter-Who is he?
Streeter-He's street car con-
ductor.
HIS MISPLACED PROPOSITION.
The villain CRASHED his cleaning
teeth with the grating sound Of the
breaking up Of an ice gorge.
"Ha, hal my proud beauty" he
Kissed, II will yet bring you to the
duet!"
The proud beauty smiled a wan
little smile.
Never" she twittered. You
are on the wrong tack. The man to
win must bring the dust to me-"
THE THIRD OFFICER ON DECK.
Are you the boss of this ranch?"
asked the tramp.
Yes, said Mr.. Timmins, thought
fully, II think that at the present
moment / can truthfully say that
am the boss here. The hired girl is
taking an afternoon of and my wife
is out riding bicycle"
A NAN OF RESOURCES.
"Wouldn't you like one of these
new lamps? Give light so strong
that"
Don't want 'em. Got seven
grownup daughters.
"Ah, exactly Let me show you
set Of our extra strong parlor fur
niture. See? Iron clamped and
braced underneath. We call 'em
our counting specials.
SAD OCCASION.
Hell called to see you last even
ing.
She-Yes?
He-Yes; the servant told me you
were not in.
she-Yes; I was SO sorry to have
missed you.
Hell thought you must be. /
heard you laughing up stairs in such
grief stricken tones that / almost
wept myself out Of sympathy.
UNPRoDUCTIvE INDUSTRY.
Il don't know what's going to be-
come of us, said the woman who
talks about her family troubles
John doesn't seem to get along
the way he used to-"
why, he never seems to be idle"
Idle i should say not. He's
got political boom on'his hand, and
he's full Of the Napoleon fad, and is
learning Trilby by heart. and be-
longs to a debating society. II he
gets any buster than he Is I'm
afraid we'll come pretty near starv-
ing"
AND SAVED TRAVELLING EXPENSES.
by gosh, believe in patterniz-
in home institutions" said Uncle
Seed in the course of the usual gro-
Gerry discussion.
81 know one time you thought
different, replied ST Hawkins.
I'D jist like to know when it was?"
IVY, the time you went to New
York an paid $500 for brick that
you could 81 got right here at home
fer less'n than nickel"