New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1895-10-24
THE TALK OF TIE DAY.

.our Dumb Animals" says that poo-playing rs a
meaner sport than prize-fghting. 1t Is cruel ana
brutal and one which ladies that profess respeeta
hu,,y and refinement ought to be ashamed to coun-
tenance.'
Ia What did the doctor say was the matter with
She-Said was run down;
What did he recommend!
II see: that Will make business for him. because
vou'l run other peop.e down III ohkefs slaves
man.
The Swedes Of Chicago and Illinois are about to
celebrate the hfteth anniversary OF their settle
ment in Illinois. There are at present iSoS2 swedish
horn citizens in Chicago. and about 'o'V" 10 t"s
State of Illinois.
snasgs-Do you know. Bkins. l think I'm
R,Ik,nsNWhat makes you think so?
1--WE spoken twice now, and when l sd. , uomd
on both occasions the audiences were much p'easeU
and applauded loudly.'-(Adams Freeman.
Some years ago in Worcester, Mass. says Inc
Gazette, OF that city, when Chinese aundries were
a new thing, a man went TO chinese iauh-
dry with some shirts, and thinking that ne couid
only be understood in 'pidgin English. opened the
conversation as follows: Hello. John. You
washee washee this shirtee You makee all h,ee'
Ne navee YOU. eh?" To which the Chinese laundry
man replied as follows: "Oh, yes. Will WASH H.
On what day would you like 1t back?
- oristocTatic lineage 'our family has motto,
but prefer not 10 use It. IL Is niue 100 sus
gestiye in my procession
Faithful unto death "-Qndianapolis Journal
Already the most powerful thinkers in the various
colleges are graphing with problem that VIII per-
sonaly concern the men who enter college next
war As they will be graduated in the year 1900.
tho question arises how they shall be designated
Eollowing a universal tradition. they ought OK
course to be referred to as belonging TO the class
NJ 90 But for obvious reasons that designation 10
regarded as unsatisfactory
Feuratively Speaking -Whyte-Dont you think
Browne is a good Descriptive writer? o,.,.ks.
Whyte~For instance?
Black-Well, he writing OF naval battle
once and he said that 800 brave sailors on the de-
feated vessel bit the dust-Louisvi.le Courier
Journal
Pierre DELANEY, who posed for years as having
been miracuously cured at Lourdes, has made a
full confession OF his mposture. Some years ago.
when engaged as a worker in hospital. he pre-
tended that he had locomotor ataxia: but the phys
clans were so suspicious that he determined 10 80
where there was less science and more faith so no
went to I.ourdes, threw away his clutches in the
sacred grotto and declared himself miraeuousy
cured His story at once believed; archbishops
end other digntaries OF the Church pubishe~ the
miracle to the world and he'd up to odium those
who presumed to doubt II as wicked unbeievers,
and the Marquis de Villeneuve gave Deanay an
easy and lucrative post Now that he has confessed
his imposture the ant-clercal papers OF France are
asking the Church authorities to say something
about the case. but they have disposition TO DO
this.
No Excuse for Not Getting Well.-"Uncle Allen"
asked the caller, do you know OF anything thats
good for cod"
one Of the pigeon holes large bundle OF newspaper
clippings tied with string and threw 1t into the
"Do, Know Of anything that is good for co sedg'
ne echoed NY young friend know now OF co,i n
them for forty-nine years You try those one after
back nd shd give S ScS 49, aS '0 Bss added
Uncle Allen, with enthusiasm you can always
lie DUG S9a bundle aH yellow ssa1 clippings
out OF another pigeon hole. and the visitor hastily
coughed himself out.-(Chicago Tribune
"Peanons Weekly" tells the following as true
telephone story: A large firm in Aberdeen recently
engaged Office boy a raw country youth. II was
part OF his duties to attend TO the telephone IN MS
masters absence. When first called upon 10 an
the bell. in reply to the usual query Are you
there?" he nodded assent Again the question came
and still again. and each time the boy gave an an
swerng nod When the question came for ths
fourth time. however. the hoy, losing his temper
roared through the telephone: Man. a We DIN
I've been noddin' me held an for { last hauf oor'
A meek looking stranger, with distinctly MINIS MINIS
ter.al air applied for permission TO look over arg
rubber factory. He knew nothing at all about ,ne
rubber business, he said. and after little hsssi
ton he was admitted The superintendent shower
him about In person. and the mans questions ana
comments seemed TO come from the densest 'snv,
rance Finally when the grinding room was
reached ne fingered little. and askei, IN mat Nat
tatinQ way Couldn't | have a specimen OF WIS" na
curlons stun FOR my cabinet? "Cer1any re-
piled the superintendent. although Il Was con- Of
bound the secret OF which was worth thoussnds,
do,,ars certainly cut OF as much as you WIS., os
With eager step the visitor approaened tne mouth
gum, took out his knife wet the blade IN hs nv Ar
and. stop right where you are said the SUE
intendent laying heavy hand upon the s,a"s a
,yon ire a fraud and thief. You dldnt learn ~
puipit that dry knife won't cut rubber % ,Sa
ing ne showed the imposior 70 the d9ori anu
secre, was sti.l safe.-Qndia Rubber Wer@