The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1895-06-04
UNCLE SETH AS A CONSIDER.
Priceless Philosophy From a Man VINO
Earns 60 Counts GNerY Day.

Priceless Philosophy From Man VINO
Earns GO Cents Every Day.
Wal, so ye he'd yer lag sawed off in a
sawmill, did ye, Sawed right off two inches
above the knee? Wal. it's tie best thing yer
could do. Hold yer horsesl Hold upl Don't
say a word! ! came down here on purpose
to console ye nm now don't 90 to gettin ried
| tell ye a man ought to be happy who is
lucky enough to get his laig sawed off.
Hold on, now; don't yer see I'm consoln
We? Wen a feller's tryin to say sweet words
Vf comfort an peace to ye, it's plague-on pro
vokin to hev We 20 an r'ar up about it. !
tell ye, Ab'rum, it's the biggest thing We
ever did wen yer went an he'd that ar laig
sawed off. It's money in yer pocket, an it
would ha' been more money in yer pocket to
he'd yer other laig sawed off too--on'y in
that case yer wouldn' had no pocket to put
yer money into. He! hel
Oh, so you can't see any use in any SIGH
tom-fool, fol-de-rol nonsensei tell We it's
Jest as,true rs Scripter mixed with the CEN
sus report that every experience II man has
is worth 81 to him. Any mis- rable, every
day experience is worth 81 to him if he is
the right kin er man. Ye know young Bob
Perkins, who couldn't earn his salt fore lie
lost his right laig. Then he went circusing
roun TO all the shows in the country as the
one laigcd bicycler an made 81 200 in one
summer Wen he fell oif'n his bicycle an
lost his other laig he went roun with n
menagerie an circus walkin on his hands,
an he made $1,000 in one trip. If you
want to ketch a fortune, you can ketch it
quicker on one laig than yer can on two,
an ye can kotch it walkin on yer hands in
no time. You know oil Cy Perkins, who
wuz born up here at the Bean place? A
L.. ~ L.
an lost his laig. Guess he lost it runnin
away, COZ he wus so scarf he allus run away
from an angleworm coz he wuz feered 1.
wus n snaik. Wal, he wuz so scarf that
wen some of the Union bays shot some
,ame turkeys he heerd the firm an thought
he rebs We're comm an started to run SO
fast that one laig tumbled over the other,
IN he got all mixed up with hisself an
broke it. Wal, sir, he came home, an we
all kinder pitied him-he wuz sich gawk
an we made him sillickman, an mex year
we pitied him some more, coz he wuz
gawkier than ever, an sent him to the leg
islatur, an I'll be dinged if the deestrict
didn't take him up an run him for congress
on his soldier record.
Wal, sir, he run good deal better than
the other man, coz the other man didn't hev
either wooden laig or "A wooden head an
Cy was well supplied with both If the
other Teller he'd he'd five laigs an a bicycle,
he couldn't ha' run for congress az quick AZ
oil Cy with his wooden laig an his head of
the same material.
i tell ye, Ab'rum, as / said afore, every
expcriurce is with 81 TO a man II he knows
how to use it. OF course losin yer lag is
with thousans. But every little miserble
experiunce is wuth 81 If you've only got
gumption enough to carry it to the right
market an sell it. Ye might give a hungry
man a bushel of taters an he would starve
to death If he didn't know 'nough TO cook
EN-. An experience amt wuth nothin IL
sc don't Know how TO use it. Neither is a
$40 bill.
/ tell ye every experience is with 81 to
ye, an every man ought to hev three ex-
perfumes day-like gettin cinder In his
eye, losin his pocketbook or fallin of ahay-
mow-he oughter get three a day, an that's
49, an that's 81 200 year; an 80 every man
who's GO years oil ought to be with $50 OOu
How oil am II Wal, Pm 60 myself How
much am l WORTH Oh-er-er - mighty
pleasant weather we're heyin now, amt III
Good grass weather, good weather for
garding sass, good weather for critters,
good GROWN weather, good wealth How
much and wuthS Wal, I've got thirteen
dollars AN some odd cents in the bank, but
then | hain't never had no time to 20 foolin
roun to fin market for my experiences.
But | can't hang roun here no longer. Bill
Smith is givin me 90 cents a day to take
care of his stock, an | must hurry home to
water the eows.-S. W. Foss in New York
Tribune.