Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1895-07-06
MY MAN JENKINS
81 WILLIAM z. WASsELL.
Copyright, 1895, by William Fl. wssscu,

| Copyright, 1895, by William f. wassc!l3
| For a second lieutenant who has been
in the service only six months fatter my
self that I have, quite decent establish
ment. My furnishings are very limited
| most of them belonging to the quarter
| masters department; but in the west, you
| know, one can keep up quite smart ap-
| pearance by constantly referring to the
| antique furnishings one has stored away
| in the city, mean New York, of course.
| 1 sometimes fancy that some of my brother
| officer fellows are laughing at me, but
| don't mind that. Am living up to prin-
| ciple. and on the whole, am quite con-
| tented with myself. And every one admits
| that I have the best trained man in the
| post.
| Elatvisky, or something like that-forget
! what-was his name when he first became
my striker; but, of course, in talking to
my smart acquaintance, the ladies of the
garrison, could not refer to him as my
| striker, Blatvisky, don't you know So 1
! changed his name TO Jenkins, so English
| it seemed to me, and, of course, 1 preferred
to call him my man Jenkins. rather than
Jenkins, my striker.
| Simultaneously with this change I per-
suaded him with a So bill to remove his mus
| taches.
| During my very short experience In the
!
| many diSpleas.ng facts. 1 am quite taken
| with the idea of getting a soldier to wait
on me hand and foot for only s. a month:
| and it is delicious to have him drink my
| whisky on the sly-so like real English
servant. you know. And really. 1 am glad
| when he drinks the horrid stuff. because
| when l drink it, it makes me cough and
| brings the tears to my eyes-I have to
| drink it straight, without water because
| all the old captains drink theirs that way
| And 1t is very pleasant to have a man
txyrI, te .i,,1. Tny,
| kins-no matter what tell him he always
answers most respectful Yes, SIR" For
| instance, when any one IS with me drawl
out, Jenkins, don't forget to varnish my
| boots.'
| YES. sir" says my man without the
| slightest hesitation.
But as matter of fact being in the in
| fantry. l don't wear boots; and Blatvisky
merely goes out to the unfurnished kitchen
| and blackens my shoes But between "B!at-
| risky, blacken my Shoes" and jenkins,
| varnish my boots" there is wide social
difference that l am most anxious to main
| tain. And jenkins is a man of my own
| creation; for when 1 got him. he didn't
even know that man who pretends to be
| at all smart wears one scarf on a bright
| day, but a different one if the skies are
cloudy.
| When first Joined my regiment thought
I was TO be thrown among very smart
! young men. Imagine my surprise / was
| invited to the bachelor mess-mess sounded
very clever-just what an English Dragon
would say. But when dinner was served.
| the senior first lieutenant threw away his
| cigarette, whistied mess CALL and said
| Come a-running." OF course 1 laughed,
bat l was very much shocked.
The same evening l went out to play
tennis. My duck trousers, my coat my
shoes, my Madras shirt were all of the
| latest; but horror of horrors, 1 played with
a fellow whose trousers were not turned
up at the bottom.
He beat me- too; But fancy the sight of
those trousers nnnerved me.
The only redeeIning feature of that even
inE was the cal. Of an old captain, who
talked until l O'Clock in the morning about
his travels in dear old England. OF course,
never having beea nearer England than my
Weil-thumbed guide book. could not follow
him very well. but his conversation was so
interesting.
Ny captain is horrid fellow, SO decided
iy american, don't you know. Once he
sent an orderly to tell me to drill the COM
Pany L put on my best clothes-made in
London to fit the figure-and gave them
what l call deucedly fine drill said
Rlght shoulder arms, present arms" and
nasty little book,
When the drill was half over, three fell
,oWs CT the company came to me and said
If you are ill., said reprovingly. .you
may go to your barracks" l always say
tafracks, it's SO much more English
imam quarters" and I could sympathize
with. the poor company fellows because
I've been i'll myself-the first night l tried
to drink my whisky straight.
After my drill fellow from the COM
rany came I'M. over to my rooms and said he
would like to talk to me. He was an
EnSiishn1an, l could tell by his delicious
accent. He told me really interesting
E 1se about lo being the younger son of an
away I lent him $40, which he promised
to return to me as soon as his father. the
lord. sent him his next monthly remit
tarce.
Tie following morning nv st,,ni5 ca,-
tair came to tell me that thereafter lie
would drill the company himself. 1 told
him about the younger son. and he actual
~ laughed at me. the great stupid. He
TOLD me that the younger son got drunk
as II an Englishman would ever get more
than tipsy. He also said that he had to
send the younger son to the guard house,
Efch would probably remind him of his
fathers ancestral castle. and that 1 would
never see my $40 if 1 waited until an En-
gi1sh lord sent monthly remittance to
Fort Barrenall. But anyhow, 'Se fellow
was an Englishman, and if one has to
lcse his money it is comforting TO know
that he was beaten out of 1t Ey an En-
glishman. In fact, it is quite the smart
firg, and on the whole I'm awfully glad
it happened. Again must say 1 am per-
fectly contented with myself.
But about my man jenkins.
One morning I awoke and found to my
horror that the horrid chill had not been
taken from my room by jenkins usual
small fire.
Hes such a stoopid." said I to myself.
l went into my dressing room, and there
another surprise awaited me. My tub was
in plain sight, but it was filled with water
that was perfectly cold and had not the
slightest suspicion of perfume. My boots
stood at the door, but not a sign of var
nish was on them. Soiled underlinen was
in confusion all around the room.
Heaven alone knows how l managed to
pull through that beastly morning. Before
doing anything, put on Ny cigarette jack
ct and took a B. and S in my big, thick
glass in order to gain the strength neces-
Sary to think.
A brilliant thought came to me, deuced-
ly fine idea 1 resolved to act as my own
man in the absence of my man Jenkins.
Don't know how l arrived at such a happy
conclusion, but at once became more con-
tented with myself.
First spread out my underlinen to make
a proper selection for the day. A glance
out of my window showed me that the
skies were cloudless. Now, my underlinen
is all the same, but principle is prin-
ciple, and one must live up to it. And real
ly, the mental task was quite fatiguing;
after making selection. l found 1t neces-
sary to take SECOND B. and s.
My uniforms are all the same, too-a
horrid restriction placed on a fellow by
army regulations, allowing one no oppor-