The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1895-08-22

string Of impertinent questions about
my private affairs, occupying the be t
part Of a four foolscap pages Of fine
p int--questons. MY remark, got
ten uD with such marvellous ingenuity
that the the Oldest man in the world
f. couldn't understand wLPt the most of
t3em were driving at-questione, too,
. that were calcuatad to make a man
report about four times his actual IN
come to keep from swearing to z false
hood I looked for a lo0phole. but
there did not appear to be any. In
quiry No. /, covered my case as gen
/ erously as an umbrella could COW
( er an ant hill.
What We're your profits, during the
/ past year. from any trade, business, or
! vocation. wherever carried on
/ And tilat injury was backed up by
| thirteen Others Of equally searching
nature. the most modest Of which re
I quire information as to whether /
I had committed any burglary or high
way robbery. or by arson or other Sc
cret source Of emOlument, had acquir-
/ ed properly which was not eGumerat
I ed in my statement Of income as Op-
! p0sito 10 No. j.
! 1t vas plain that that stranger had
( enabled ms t. make q goose OF myself.
! 1t was very very plain; 50 l went and
! ntred another artist. BY working on
I my vanity, the stranger had seduced
/ ine into declaring an income Of SzI4,
! 900. BY law $1,000 OF this was ex-
empt from income tax-th only re
| lief I c0gld see, and it was only a
drop in the ocean. At the legal 5 per
cent. [ must pay the government the
sum Of go 500 income tax.
Il may here remark IN this place,
that / did not DO it,
| anu acquainted with a very opu-
lent man. whose house is a palace.
whose table is regal, whose outlays
are enormous, yet q man who has no
! income. IS | have often noticed by the
revenue returns: and to him | went
i9r advice, in my distress. He took
my dreadful exhibitions Of receipts,
he pat on his glasses. he took his pen,
and presto ! was & pauper It was
tGe neate5t thing that ever WAS. lie
did It simply by laftly manipulating
| the bill OF Deductions lie set down
my state. national and municipal
taxes at 50 much: my losses by ship
wreck, hre, ETC." at so much my
! losses On sales Of real estate" on live
stock sold" on payments for rent OF
homestead" on repairs, improvements
interest, on previously taxed salary
as an officer Of the United States az
my. navy. revenue service" )" and other
| things.
He got astonishing "deductions'
out OF each and every one Of these
matters each and every one Of them.
And when be WAS done he handed me
tue paper, and / SAW at q glance that
| during the year my income IN the way
II profits had been $3.50 80.
Now" said lie, the $1,000 is exempt
! by law. What you want to do Is to
| - and swear this document il and
pay tax on the $3.50.
(While he was making his speech
his little boy Willie lifted a - green
| back out OF his vest pocket and van
| ishad with il, and | would wager any
ching thBt if my stranger We're to call
on that little boy tomorrow he would
make a false return OF his income.)
DO you, sad I, ''dc y.I always
work up the 'deductions' after this
! fashion in your own case, SIR"
We'll, should say SO. fit weren't
for those eleven saving clauses under
| the head Of deductions L should be
neggard every year to support this
hateful and wicked, this ezt0rtiOnate
and tyrannical government"
This gentleman stands away mp
/ ampa4 the very best cf the solid men
q the city the men o. moral weight
= commercial integrity Of unimpcacl-
| able social spotlossnsss- | bowed
| 81 his example. / went down 10 the
! revenue Office, and under the accusing
eve Of my old visitor | stood uD and
swore 10 lie after lie, fraud after fraud.
yilIa.Gy after villainy, TIL my soul was
coated inches and inches thick with
| perjury, and my self respect gone for
ever ana ever.
Bat what Of ii? 1t IS nothing more
han thousands Of the richest and
proadest and nOstrespe ii, and non
0rel men iE America do every year.
| aud 80 / don't care | am-not asham
Ell. [ shall simply, for the present,
tax little. and esclew fire proof gloves
lest ] fall INTO certain dreadful habits
! ureyocably.