The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1895-10-16
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.

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- We would soon get rich If We
were paid for all the useless things VI
do.
- Religion that is kept for Sundaj
use becomes rancid in the middle d
the week.
- It is good thing to stop whel
you've nothing more to say but it i
an art few comprehend.
New York barb = =
have a number of
customers to be shaved. -
"A recent Parliamentary return shows,
that the average of ships and sailors in
the port of London every day Is 900 ships
and 9 900 men. 1s,
If you should have just what:
you really deserved-no more, no:
ess-would you be as happy as you
are now
Some men forget all their prom.
Uses except their bad ones, which they
always insist on keeping for the sake
Of their honor. S
- Snakes are said to live to very
old age. A large boa in London some
time ago was estimated to be about
1000 years old. #
- Small Nephew sUncle, why do
you always take g dog with you when
you 60 out shooting? Are you afraid
Of the rabbits ?'
of every man and woman living
to-day at the age of rs, one out Of two:
will live, according to the tables, to:
be IS years Of age.
"A petrifed frog found in an
Albany On. W stone quarry was two (
feet eight inches in length and weighed
over 100 pounds.
Every man, however humble his
station, or feeble his powers, exercises
some influence on those who are about
him for good or evil.
Truth and love are two of the
most powerful things in the world, and
when they both go together, they can
not be easily withstood. =
They have found out in Califor-
MIA that peach stones burn as well as
coal, and give out more heat. They
sell at the rate Of So ton.
There is always something to oc-
cupy girls mind. When she dis
covers Santa Claus is a farce she
begins to believe in love.
"A Hungarian penman residing at
Vienna exhibits a grain Of wheat,
upon which he has plainly written 303
words, all properly punctuated.
The prime Of life in a man. .of
regular habits and sound constiE bnl
is from 80 to IS years Of ags f q
woman, from "a or rs to abef 4 40 /
years Of age.
To call man German spy is in
France sure way of securing his arr
rest, and it is said to be the only form
Of calumny for which there is no legal
redress.
Fitzbooby: Glow many direc-
tors are there in this company, boy r. ~
Office boy: ''Six and myself" Fitz-g
BOBBY: "You director! Absurd r.
Office boy eyes sir; I'm the direc-5
tor of envelopes" !"
Between 300 and 400 persons are.
employed in making writing ink In
the United States, .and-their yearly
wages amount to botweeh $500, 900
and $4O0, 900. About the same num-
Der are employed in making printing
inks.
Twenty years ago the forest area
Of the United States was estimated at
76O, 900, 900 acres. The estimate now
is 375, 900, 900 acres. In another 20
years, if this death rate continues,
this continent will be naked Of trees.
Imagine the prospect
= Patient: "Doctor, I have an inn
portant physiological question to ask
you. When I stand on my head, the
blood rushes into my head. Now, when
I stand on my feet, why does it not
rush into my feet?" Doctor: "Be-5
cause your feet are not hollow" J"
A widower was at the altar for
the fourth time. During the marriage
service the sound of sobbing came from
the rear Of the family group, and an
astonished guest inquired, "Who is
the woman in tears? I? Is it some old
fame 2" ''That's the cook" answer
ed one of the children. "She always
cries when papa is married"
If your children are subject to.
Group watch for the first symtom of the
disease-hoarseness. If Chamber
lain's Cough Remedy is given as soon.
as the child becomes hoazse it will.
prevent the attack. Even after The
croupy cough has appeared the attack
can always be prevented by giving
this remedy. It is also invaluable
for colds and whooping cough. For
sale by Hill Bros.
- A woman in the waiting room of
a railroad depot in Philadelphia, the
other day, had great deal of trouble
with one Of her two children boy
of 7 or Sand a man who sat near her,
stood it as long as possible, and then
observed: Madam, that boy Of yours
needs the strong hand of father
eyes, know it" she replied, "but
he can't have it. His father died
when he was 6 years Of age, and I've
done my best to get another man and
failed. He can't have what I can't
get
= A story is told of Mississippi
darkey named Scipio, who fell in love
with dusky maiden named Mary, and
was accepted by her. Believing tha.
under the circumstances he ought to
give her present, he went one day to
the country store, and, after. examin-.
ing the entire stock, purchased two
hoopskirts and took them back to the
girl. She was delighted, but pretty
soon she said, 'Look heah, Scipio,
what fur d you get two Of desc hupes
fer" why, honey, responded
Scipio, II didn't want cher t look
lopsided." "Whus' at? Lopsided2
Huh ?" "Suah, honey got one
fur de right laig, an one fur de lef.
The Hunger Cure.