Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1895-01-15
ADVICE GRATIS,

etLucT III yOoI SOcthi VI uustucoo huuue -
do not be the first to speak Of It. Per-
haps 1t may have passed unnoticed By
others. Ii Is foolish bird that fiutters
over its own nest when the egg stealers
are about.
Never brag about your success with
the fair sex. This IL matter upon
which truthfulness Is thrown away, for
nearly every body does you the honor to
believe you are lying, and II Il only the
insanely credulous who insult you by
taking stock in your yarn factory.
II drinking does 90 so far towards
making man Of you as you imagine,
why Is 1t the more you drink the less
manly you becomeg Possibly the wrong
brand Of liquors Is being foisted upon
you.
When you visit the theatre behave
yourself In seemly manner, and II you
happen to be an ass, do not obtrude your
personality too prominently upon the
audience. The people come to see the
play, and not an Insignificant section OF
the menagerie.
DO not make spectacle Of yourself,
unless you desire, by your department,
to reconcile the young ladies to the dis.
pensation Of Providence which created
them females instead of males.
Show proper and becoming respect
for the mlddle-aged, as we'll rs for the
aged: for you may some time be middle
aged, or aged even, and In that event
there will be one fly the less In your poi
Of ointment.
When you have accomplished some
thing creditable TO yourself, do not OBJ
trude the fact upon others. Really GOOD
work always speaks for itself, and whet
the worker calls attention from thu
work to himself, as he inevitably doe,
by talking about Ii, the contrast between
him aud Il Is In most minds earth-wide
DO not be so severe la your censure.
upon the young ladies. II Is not theil
fault that they took after their mother,
instead OF after their fathers. The fac
that they are so unfortunate as to b,
women should excite your pity rathcI
than your derision.
II Is hardly necessary for you to sweat
loudly and TO act obstreperously In ordeI
10 prove that you are an asa. Most per
sons will take you for what you arr
without this Acknowledgement; and re
member, my son, that though the ASS
voice Is silent, his ears are obvious Il
all.
Never tell q lie unless you can manu-
facture one that has an air Of probability
There are so many fool lies floatin!
about nowadays that mendacity IL fas
becoming discredited.
oh .snnrsA1f ar=tsfantt /,
upon other peoples time and attention
Look at the AZ. IL Is in everybody
mess. And vet you seldom, II ever
hear the ny spoken OF In terms OF unal
loved flattery.
And finally, my son, be as indulgen
as you can Of the faults and short com
ings Of your parents. You should re
member that their characters were form
ed ere YOU arrived or the scene: there
fore they are not really To blame tina
they have not fully avaiIed OF your dis
tinguished example.
jim AND MYRA WE'RE JUST TOO MEAN
"The world Is hollow" remarked tn
girl In red.
1T is" gloomlly assented the gir
whose new gown does not Mt; "but
don't see how you ever found II out"
"By accident, dear. IL happened tn
day after the cards were sent out. hs'
note from Dan saying that he must se
me once more before | was Jim's wife
or course didn't really care for Dan
but IL IL soothing TO ones vanity TO know
that the best man IL dying OF envy OF tn
| bridegroom, who has no idea OF H..
$50 you said you would see him."
~ did. | felt that 1t would do Jim M
harm IL Dan did tell me once more tina
life was blank without me; and II WA
really my last chance, too. still didn'
dare To let him come To the house.
But where else could you see him.
Al Myrs's. She Ia TO he maid o
honor. YOU know, and Jim used To b
quite devoted TO her, so | knew She
never dare 10 tell on me lest people thinl
her jealous"
"when want advice shall know
| where 10 come for H."
"Very well, do. Well, didn't sen
her word that was coming, for didn'
want anything down on paper. As luc'
would have IL, just as was starting jim
sent up box Of roses and melanchol,
note saving that a business engagement
he couldn', shirk would prevent hin
from coming up that evening"
You were In luck"
$50 | thought. Well, | just threw
myself on Myrs's mercy. She wasn't
Bit pleased, as l could see, but she sub
mitted with the best grace she could
She said she would keep everybody ou
OF the library so we could have long
quiet evening, and not TO worry abou
her, as she would probably have CON
psDy."
THAT was nice OF her."
20, very nice. Dan came early, an
we had perfectly lovely time. II
begged me 10 elope the day before tn
wedding, recited two poems about hi
despair, and limited at suicide. o,
was splendid, | cried myself almost 10
Jelly. At about half-past ten j couldn'
stand Il any longer, so told Dan tina
we must 90 in and speak TO Myra for tn
front parlor was so quiet that her GALE
had evidently failed 10 come. So, sfte
another eternal farewell, we went in"
"wellF'
"It wasn't well; il was III. Myra'
caller WIS there; he was jim: he wa
holding her hand, and bidding her good
| bye forever. q, was ever poor girl s.
cruelty deceived as :'
PREPARING HER FOR MATRlMoNY
Petted manifestations. what ha