davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21
SLIPS OF THE TONGUE

That Is a queer and most embai
RAISING faculty which we all possess
at some time in our lives, OF meaning
,ne thing and saying another.
When a rather dapper young man
was introduced to very distin-
guished lady, he bowed low, and said:
81 think, madam, you have had the
pleasure of meeting me before"
Such mistakes are very frequent on
the platform Of the amateur per'
formance. A regular attendant at
these places noted the following alb
| surd mistakes. some of which wera
| either unobserved by the audience, or
supposed to be the proper thing in
the proper place A charming young
lady thus rendered a climax In cele'
brated poem:
"Go, your liver loves" said Crom-
we'll, ''Curfcw shall not ring to
uight"
In another recitation the reader
"Clasped to her heart the throbbing
boy"
An orator made an unexpected eff.
feet by thus reversing matters: "He
tests ut wounds who never felt .
scar"
The pet Of the family having been
duly instructed in his part. goes On
| the platform and begins boldly:
ct wish had little pat
To dog him on the head"
This is eQualed by recent small
hero who, with all tho confidence in
the world. approached the audience
snd began:
Under the spreading blacksmith tree
The village chestnut stsnda."
A confusion OF memory caused an
elocutlonist to change line Of Bar
bara Frietchic rather surprisingly.
when lee marched over the garden wall"
Tho little alterations are very
amusing to everybody, but those who
are the cause of them 1t is never
pleasant to be tho one who takes that
nguratlve step from the sublime to
the ridiculous
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21
Cnruiy Member.

What an experience 1T was learn
ing to write! And how many of US
amiably and unconsciously made faces
over IL! For after we had learned
where to place each finger, and how
to move the pen, and how to hold the
wrist, there was an unrulY member
that insisted upon helping us shape
each letter.
Little Girl-Please ma'am. Johnny
Smart is maxim mistakes In his writ
ing lesson.
Teacher-How do you know?
Little Girl-There's three capital
sc In the COPY to-day, and he's maxim
L'A
Teacher-You can't see his pen.
Little Girl-NQ'm, but I can sea
bis tonSue. eGood News
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21

'Gent1emen, you do not use von
faculties of observation, said an on, w,
professor, addressing his class. Hora o.u
he pushed forward a ga.lipot conta;D
ling chemical Of exceedingly -,
fensive smell. "When l was a stn W.
dent" he continued. 81 used nv
sense of taste" ard with that y.
dipped his finger in the gallipot ,ns
then put his finger in his mouth.
"Taste it, gentlemen, taste II
said the professor, ''and exercise yon,
lperceptive faculties"
The gallipOt was pushed toward
! the reluctant class one by one. Tba
students resolutely dipped their fin.
gers into the concoction, and with
many a wry face sucked the ab.mi
nation from their fingers
"Gentlemen, gentlemen" said the
professor, 81 mus6 repeat that Won
10 not use your faculties of obscry,.
ton, for had you looked more close y
at what was doing, you would have
seen that the finger which | put in
my mouth was not the finger dim Il
In the gallipot"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21
Ancient Lighthouses.

Lighthouses for the guidance OF
mariners are very ancient The earliest
In England Of a permanent character
were the North and South Foreland
lights. They were merely lath and
plaster buildings, with . light on top
Of them in a glass lantern. The first
Eddystone was erected about the mid.
die Of the last century.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21
Kaiser Wilhelm IL Reb,

Kaiser Wilhelm IL Rebuilding.
Kaiser Wilhelm Is spending 81, SOC, 600
on additions and improvements to his
palace In Berlin. which 1t will take
seven years to complete. Last year
$3.50, 900 was spent in rebuilding the
north western end.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21
PURE AND WHOLESOME QUALITY

Commends to public approval the Cali
fornia liquid laxative remedy, Syrup of
Figs. 1t is pleasant to the taste and by
acting gently on the kidneys, liver and
bowls to cleanse the system effectually,
it promotes the health and COM
fort of all who use it, and with millions
it is the best and only remedy.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21
XilEy.

1rate Eather-Young mani am
outraged, sir, that you should seek to
marry my daughter on so short ac-
quaintance. You are almost a
stranger to her Stubs (flrmly)-
Well, she doesn't take any more
chances than do. She's almost .
stranger to me.-Texas 6iftin9a
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21
A Borrowed Custom.

Our habit Of reading the declaration
Of Independence on the Fourth Of July
Is derived from the old English custom
of having the magma charta read twice
year In the cathedrals. The bishops
not only read 1t. but excommunicated
thos0 who broke It
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21

Elderly Maiden (out rowing with .
possible suitor and little sister who
Is frightened by the wavel-Theodoral
II you Are so nervous now what will
you b at my agep Little Sister
(meQkly)!Thirty seven. I suppose
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21

The Modern obituarys
mis- debts were "a settled
His wife he ado1eds
He died Hke Q Chr1otta0-
Fully insured
Constitution.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21
PRISCILLA'S MANIAC CEMENT,
EY MARAu CROSSE FARLEY.

EACON DODGE
felt "blue" enough,
as he sat down to
his six o'clock tea,
in his humble homo
on Forest Hill. 1t
was not that the
tea was either badly
served or poor in
quality, for he in
variably purchased
the best groceries
t b o m ark Q I
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21

Or. Kilmer's MP-Roor curai
all Kidney and Bladder troubleA
Iamplet and Consultation free.
Laboratory Binghamton. n Y.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21

Mrs. wlnslows Soothing Syrup for chIldrsA
teething, sOftens the gums. reduces infamma-
don. a!iays pain cures wind coke Hbc a bottle
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21
Reoame a Necessity.

When pins were first invented they
were considered 30 great luxury as
not to bs At for common use, and the
maker was not allowed to sell them in
an open shop except on two days Of the
year at the beginning Of january
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21
| Can't Sleep

Is the complaint of many at this season.
The reason is found in the fact that tne
nerves are weak and the body in rev.
erish and unhealthy condition: Tho
nerves may be restored by Hoods sar-
saparilla, which feeds them upon pure
blood, and this medicine will also create
an appetite, and tone up the system and
thus give sweet refreshing sleep.
Hoods SarSaparilla
Ia the only true blood purifier prominently In
the public eye to-day. 81; six for s..
ud,, D;1I. act harmoniously with
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21

A Chinese proverb says: ga hun
dred men may make an encampment,
but it takes woman to make a
home"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21

An average Of three British seamel.
lose their lives emery day by drown
ing.
Bordeaux, France, exhibits a 11o
foot high bottle.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21

When Dr. R. v. Pierce, of Buffalo, n. Y,
published the first edition of his work, The
Peoples Common Sense Medical Adviser,
he announced that after go 600 copies had
been sold at the regular price, $3.50 per
copy, the profit on which would repay him
for the great amount of labor and money
expended in producing it, he would dis
tribute the next half million free. As this
number of copies has already been sold, he
is now distributing, absolutely free, 10000
eGpses eIase interess 1s COUPON ing % and fS 2a
uable common No.11s sense med
ical work ever published
the recipient only being required to mail
to him, at the above address, this little
COUPON with twenty-oue (2r) cents in one
cent stamps to pay for postage and pack.
ing onIy, and the book will be sent by mail.
1t is a veritable medical library, complet.
in one volume. 1t contains over 1000 pages
and more than 800 illustrations. The Ere.
Edition is precisely the same as those sole
at sI.5o except only that the books ars
bound in strong MANILA paper covers in.
stead of cloth. Send NOW before all ar'
given away. They are going off rapidly
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21

Ramie is now being extensively cul'
tivated in the West Indies as a substi'
tute for silk.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21

A hundred thousand right whales
would be required to supply as much
oil as Baku exports yearly.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21

Rev. Fl. P. Carson. Scotland, OAK, sav5
Two bottles of H dis Catarrh Cure con;let..
ly cured my little girl" Sold by Druggists,7jc
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21

The Atlantic Ocean takes its mama
from Mount Atlas.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21

Hungary has sent to our shores Co.
600 descendants of the followers Of
Atilla.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21

use Piso's Cure for Consumption both IN my
family and practice.-DR. q. W. PArTERsoN, Ink
ster, Mich, Nov. g. 1894
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21

The water in the Strait Of Gibraltar is
$50 fathoms deep.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21

Ifafflicted with sore eyes use DR.. Isaac ThOml
cons Eyewater. Druggists sell at DC. per bottle
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21

Makes Pure Blood. These three words tell
the whole story of the wonderful cures BY
Hoods Sarsaparilla. 1t Is the best blood purifier
and spring medicine.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21
DsYou Know 1t. Cause.

Indigestion: Do you know when you have It ?
Do you know its cause and cure? Ask your drug,
gist for Ripans Tabules. One gives relief.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21

Hoods Pills have won high praise for their
prompt and efficient yet easy action.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21

Telegraph lines reach LOGO, 123
miles.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21

llOOu FlllS Hoods Sarsaparilla- 25c
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21
GREAT BOOK FREE

yS2
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-08-21
80

80 yS2
The Monticellonian., 1895-06-07
SHE "STUMBLED."
The Little Lecture That tho Colonel Gave
 Was Necessary.


 Was Necessary.
 Did you ever see a bird like that alive?" demanded the colonel of the young man who sat next to him.
 He was staring at the strange speci- men on the hat in front, which out of his view Of the stage.
 The wearer of the hat became in- tensely interested in the play, and the chivalrous young man glared at the colonel savagely, but made no reply.
 "I say did you ever see such bird slive?o repeated the colonel, nudging the young man vigorously to enforce his attention. Then he answered him self:
 No, sir; no such bird ever lived. Look at Chat combination of colors. Nature isn't good enough as pattern for these milliners They must have impossible combinations and devise birds whose colors and shape would give an ornithologist the nightmare
 The young man glared. The wearer of the hat became nervous.
 There's whole lot of sentiment wasted over the slaughter of song birds for millinery purposes con tinued the colonel. "Vel.y few song birds or any other kind are killed They are not wanted. Nature conld not supply birds with such bills and tails and colOrs as these women want It's the same thing in flowers. Why, 1 know q woman who insists on hay ing the rose in her hat dyed blue, be- cause blue is more becoming to hern
 Apparently no one was listening to him, but the colonel knew the wearer of the hat was not missing a word.
 "l like to see a pretty hat" he went on, but when see an impossible bird like that one 1t loses all interest for me. It's like seeing well-dressed man wearing a cetInloid collar. 1t looks cheap"
 The woman in front turned slightly and looked furieusly at the colonel but he apparently didn't see her, and con tinued just as the curtain was going down on the first act:
 You see natural birds are expen- sive. They cost three times as much as these inventions of the milliners, made mp of rubber, wire. glass and dyed goose feathers. That hat is a beauty, and l should say it cost good price if it did not have that artificial bird on it. That makes me suspect that it's all show and probabl V cheap
 Then the colonel went out to "see man" When he returned the hat was gone. It's owner held it on her lap. Ihe colonel chuelslcd to himself, those about him smiled, and the woman in front was apparently deeply en9rossed in the ads in her progranme.-N. Y. Recorder.
The Monticellonian., 1895-06-07
4 LIVING SHADOW.
Remarkable Transformation Of a
 North Carolina Man.
Strange, Hut True, Story from the Lumber Regions of a Southern state-yer-
 lied by Personal Investisa ton.
(tFom the Greenuille, N c. PtGector

tfFom ths Greenut1s, 1H C.. Retlect0r)
 The following interview has just been given our reporter by Air G. A Baker the overseer at tho farm of Col Isaac 4 Sugg, of Greenville, N c. Itwiu interest any one who has ever had Typhoid fever. Mir Baker said in part:
 'T was living in Beaufort county, and on the 2d day Of October, 1893, Twas stricken down with typhoid fever l had thc best Of physicians to attend mo and on the 15th day Of January, l39l, was allowed to get Up. 1 was emaciated, weak and had no ap- petite could only drag along for q short distance and would be compelled to sit down and rest This continued for some time and began to give up hope of ever getting well. l lost my position i'll Beau fort county and having secured one in Pitt county, clerldng in store, I undertook 1t, but was so weak l could not do the work and had to give it up. The disease settled in my knees, legs and feet. ] was taking frs one kind of medicine and then another, but nothing did me any good. Twas mighty low spirited l moved out to Col Suggs about four or five months ago and com menced taking Dr. Williams Pills. I took three day for about three months. l began to regaln my appetite in a weeks time, and then my weakness began to disappear 4iOpS ollA ttkiS bl " llll et D4G5oGuutS5 bHdb is beyond all telling At tho expiration of the three months was entirely cured and could take my axe and go in the woods and do as good days work as any man. l was troubled with dyspepsia and that has disap- peared. It is also splendid tonic for weak people. l say, Mir. Editor, God bless Dr. Williams. May he live for long time. know he will go up wonder to reap his re- ward for he has done a wonderful lot of good. Tell everybody thatasks you about Dr. Williams Pink Pills for Pale People that if they will come to me can certainly satisfy them as to their merits. l always carry box of pills with me and whenever 1 feel bad take one.p
 We were forcibly struck with the earnest ness of Mir. Baker and his statement may be relied on
 Dr. Williams Pink Pills contain, in condensed form, all the elements necessary to give new life and richness to the blood and restore shattered nerves. They are aa unfailing specific for such diseases as loco motor ataXia, partial paralysis, St. Vtus' dance, sciatiea, neuralgia rheumatism, nervous headache, the after effects of h grippe, palpitation of the heart, pale and sallow complexions, all forms of weakness either in male or female, and all diseases re sultiug from Yitiated humors ia the blood. Pink Pills are sold by ali dealers, or will ha sent post paid on receipt of price (50 cents box. or six boxes for $2 50) by addressing Dr. Williams Medicine Co.,, Schenectady, N.
The Monticellonian., 1895-06-07
The Cows of Delhi.

The crowded streets of Indian cities present manifold attractions, but the study of native life and manners in Delhi Is frequently interrupted by the gray herds of Brahmini cows, which roam about at their will, with the evi. dent conviction invariably entertained by these pampered animals that their own importance far exceeds that of the community which they inconveni- ence by theirpresence. An overturned stall witnesses to the self-assertion of the sacred kline, and as onr carriage disperses blockade of sleek backs and interlaeing horns, an indignant mem Der of the scattered conclave wrealSs vengeance on the battered chariot by pushing it along with these natural weapons to the end of the street. ~The ''raisen d'etre' of the assembled cows is found in the presence. of great Hindoo temple, where glimpse of gilt tering images in fretted shrines is un- willingly granted to the unbelievers, whose feet are forbidden to tread the sacred courts of the Brahmin sanctua- ry.--All the Year Round.
The Monticellonian., 1895-06-07
RUS SiA'S HAND
In the Corean Iasurrection Present
 Situation in tho East.

WAsuINGroN, June l.-The impress sion is growing in diplomatic circles that some understanding will soon be reached by Russia and Japan which will permit Russia to extend her Si- berian railroad through northern Co., req in order to secure an outlet at the seaport of Port Lazeercif This is be- lieved to be the real secret of Rus sia's intrigue with Corea, which has been finding expression almost daily for the past fortnight or so in statements from St. Petereburg and London that Russia might assume a proteetorate over Corea. While Japan engaged in war with China to secure the independence of Gorea, it is not re- gardcd as lilxeiv-that she will engage in hostilities with Russia in order ab. solutely to maintain this independ ence.
 The probabilities seem to be that Ja- pan will permit Russia to control the northern and eastern parts of Corea in the interest of Her great transeonti- mental railway An arrangement of this character being made, troubles Tn the east, 1t is anticipated will soon coue to a close.
 Corea is said to be hotbcd of in- trigue. The people are ignorant and have absolutely no voice in the control of affairs, while official procedure is both vacillating anu weak. 1t is pointed ont that Count Iuauy, who is regarded by many as the Bismarck of Japan, voluntarily accepted the mis- sion to Corea in the hope of bringing order out of chaos and giving some force and direction to Coreas interna- tional affairs. 1t now seems that some of the men upon whom lie relied l,awe been foremost in intriguing with Russia.
 Dispatches this morning state that Count lnouy will be called by Japan if the Corean king ratities Lac treaty which his prime minister has made with Russia looking to a protection from that governmene IL is regarded as not unlikely that Count InoaY him, selfsHggested his recall in this event, inasmuea as his disappointmen at the ingratitude of Che Corean people is known thoughout the eaststo be very great.
 Sc. .fnr IS the trouhes lu Formosa are concerned, the fapaaesc legation is StiH withoutadvices These troubles are regarded as merely local and as such will be qneilei within few hours after the Japanese authorities take the matter in hand
The Monticellonian., 1895-06-07
A Happy Woman.

At last I am a well and happy woman again thanks to McElrees Wine of Cardui have suffered for four years from womb trouble of the most horrible kind. Twelve years ago I went to the San Antonio Hos pital where they performed an operation, but it left me in a worse state than ever. wentto pr. Kingsley and Dr. D. Y. Young, ing sl25 was not able to leave my bed, and mosLof the time suffered pains to equal a thousand deaths. On the tenth of last Octo- Der my friend Mrs, Stevens advised me to try McElree's Wine of Cardui. The first bottle did me good, and I got more, and to- day am q new wOman am able to do all my cooking and house-Work am running a boarding-house and doing all thework my self. l sbill use the Wine and always keep it in the housc-it saved my life.
 fIRs. NJ J. MEYERS,
 Arpleby, Texas.
The Monticellonian., 1895-06-07
Music of the Plnes,

The sound of the wind in the branches and among the slender columns is inexpressibly sad, and affects some people with melancholia, and if they are very nervous often with hysteria am told that there are inyalids in Thomasville who can not endure the peculiar soughing that rises and falls as the wind grows stronger or. sub sides, like the ineessant roar of the surf, and one young woman who was recommended to reside upona ''turpen. tine farm" sc as to inhale the odor as a cure for tl,e asthma, was compelled to return to the city because the pe- ,culiar monotone made her frantic. Less iinpressionable's, people find it , plaasant, and Ifmagine they soon be, come so used to it that they miss if when they go away, as one misses the sound of the sea or the swish of the waves against the sides of ship or the motion and racket of railway train.-Georgia Correspondent of the Chicago Record.
The Monticellonian., 1895-06-07
H0w's Thisf

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any ease of Catarrh that cannot be cured by Hallas Catarrh Cure.
 2. J; CHENEY < Co.,, Props, Toledo, 0. Cheney for the last b years, and believe him perfectly honorable in all business transactions and financially able to carry out any obligation made by their firm West & Truax, Wholesale Druggists, To- Icdo, Q. Walding, Knnan S5 Marvin, Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, O.
 Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally, acting directly on the blood and mucous surfaces of the system. Price, 7bc. per bot tic. Sold hg allDfuggists. Testimonials free
 Haia5 Family Pills, 25c
The Monticellonian., 1895-06-07
Knew What lie Wanted.

"Paintings2" said the artist, fiat. tered by the presence of the millionaire in his studio. "Yes, sir. 1 shah be happy to show you my best canvases. Something allegorical2 Or do you pre- fer landscape?"
 "What l want" said MT Boodelle the eminent contractor, with decision lis somethin' about yard and hal long and yard wide to cover some cracks in the frescoin'. ."-Chicago Fri bune.