davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1895-03-28
WHERE DIALECT RUNS WILD.
specimen Of the Arzot in Use Among
Australian Sheep Shearere.

specimen Of the Argot in Use Among
Australian Sheep Shearers.
If the specimen Of Australian dia
ect which Gilbert Parker gives in the
Idler is fair sample Of what we may
expect when dialect writers begin to
work up that country, we have not yet
,een the worst. Here Is little story
which reads like a missing word puzzle
,r a cipher telegram: "Ten ye 'ow it
was. I toddles of to the shed, pulls
Iown me tongs, 'auls out q bloomfn'
,apfllion, and was go!n' down the whip
jim side, both blades 'eavily loaded.
ven the boss drops and shot me dead.
I takes a 'op skip an jump back to
he ut, put two folds In the OF sh!ral-
ZEE, slings the 'og 'ide on the tall croc-
,dile, goes up the river like a frog, sits
lown along sleepy Jim's muster and
strips hundred and forty by 4 o'clock
aext." And here is the Interpretation
which Mr.. Parker Is kind enough to
furnish US:
"This Is how it happened: I walkeu
IF to the shearing shed, took down my
shears, hauled out a sheep, and was
slipping down the right-hand side with
Lii my might, when the manager came
md discharged me. went back to the
hut folded up my blanket, put the sad
lie on my horse, galloped up the river,
stopped at Sleepy Jim's sheep pen and
shore hundred and forty by 4 o'clocE
next day."
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1895-03-28
A Disappointing N1issiye.

NOW look at that letter. said
young Summers to New York I'll
.bune man, throwing scented square
envelope across the cafe table.
What would you think to find that
in letter box when you came into the
club"
why" said the writer, picking it
up and noticing the delicate hand
writing, Il should think that some
fair young woman was going to invite
me to drink tea with her tomorrow
afternoon"
do you know, that's just what 1
thought when I saw it and that's
why 7 am disguised. The other night
at the horse show l was Introduced
to an awfully pretty girl who lives up
the avenue. The next night l met
her again at the Van Hartman's and
we had quite a chat. She promised
to send me her card. l thought this
was it. It's a shame"
'Oh, but she may send 1t yet; J
wouldn't despair so soon."
III ISL y UldV ~ . oAS t|S% Va
getting such letter as that instead
Of the one I expected. Don't you
see what it is?"
.Do you want me to read it?"
"You may il you care for such
things. There is nothing private
about things that gain your CONT
dence under false pretenseS Of per-
fumed and sealed envelopes and FEM
mime hands. It's getting outrageous
that one should at every turn nave
his heart set beating with visions of
pretty notes, only to find printed
slips telling you Of the virtues OF the
latest clothes-cleaning estab iShment
and the low-priced menu Of the new
restaurant on the corner. Tnat note
informs me that can have my
trousers pressed regularly once week
for 25 cents and the wagon WILL call
to get them. ISN'T that a romantic
message to crave respectful attention
In polite and inSinuating gulSe?:'
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1895-03-28
LOST IN GROWERS PAJAMAa
com ediar Wilson's Expericoee Under
f,IeyeIand,s Roof at Gray Gables.

Comedian Wilson's Expericoee Under
| CleveIaud's Roof at Gray Cables.
When Joe Jenerson's niece was mar
led at Buzzard's Bay number OF the
veteran actors friends In Boston and
New York were invited to be present,
saws the New York Mail and Express.
Among those from Gotham were Mr..
| and Mrs. Francis Wilson. 1t was their
intention to return to their hotel IN
| Boston Immediately after the wedding,
but fer some reason Or other the hour
| fxed for the ceremony was changed,
md when it was all over the guests
found there were no more trains and
| they were obliged to remain oTer
| night. Mr.. Jefferson's ne!ghhors
threw open their houses with rue
Yankee hospitality and made every
body welcome. 1t fell to the lot of Mr..
Wilson to be entertained at the house
of Mr.. Cleveland at Gray Gables. AS
the evening wore along 1t was noticed
that the young comedian was not In
his usually happy mood. He appeared
more thoughtful than was his habit
and several times asked If some plan
could not be devised whereby he might
return that evening to Boston. Mrs.
Wilson inquired Of her husband the
cause for his uneasiness, and he told
her that, as he expected to return 10
Boston the same day, he had come
down to BuZZard's Bay without any
further preparation for the night thai
| tooth brush. Mrs. Wilson at once
sought one Of the servants, and IN
few minutes returned with the assur-
ance that everything was all right and
that there was no necessity for further
anxiety.
When bedtime came the actor was
shown to his room, and the servant
handed him a bundle. Mr.. Wilson
read a novel until he became sleepy,
and then prepared to retire.
"pll be asleep in five minutes" be
,aid, as he unwrapped the paper and
i folded it. for Mr.. Wilson Is tidy and
orderly In his habits. Then he picked
up the bundle, which he unrolled and
held up. He held in his hands what ne
! at first thought was bifurcated bal
loon, but which on inspection proved
10 be 6 pair Of beautiful pajamas, with
= puckering string FIVE yards long.
"This is certainly very kind" re
marked Mr.. Wilson, and into the
pajamas he jumped. Then he sat
down on the side Of the bed and looked
at himself He got up and looked at
bis reflection in the mirror and took IN
reef. He looked again and took IN
mother reef.
Good graciousw said Mr.. Wilson.
I'm carrying too much SAIL" and he
reefed again. Then he hoped into
bed. In the morning he was late for
breakfast, because during the night
the reefs were shaken out, and 1t TOOK
him thirty minutes to find where he
VAS
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1895-03-28
Lesson in Fractions

4 Lesson in Fractions
"Now, boys" said the teacher, II have
few questions in fractions. Suppose
/! had a piece Of beefsteak and cut it in
o two pieces; what would those two
,ieces be called"
"Halvesw shouted the class.
Correct. And If I cut each half into
wo pieces"
"Quartersy'
"Tnat's right. And If the quarters
we're each cut in half?"
"Eighths!"
"Quite so. And II those were each
hoped in two?'
"Sixteenthsr'
every good And when the sixteenth
we're cut, what would those pieces be
alledT
Here there was some hesitation, bu
q a moment Two boys said:
"Thirty-seconds"
"Just right, just right" said the
eacher. "And now we will chop those
half. What have we now?" Silence
!ollowed this question, while the boys
,hifted uneasily and the teacher held
lis breath. "Do none Of you know?"
inquired the young man. "Come-Im
1lre that someone can tell me-"
There was a moments pause, and
hen hand was raised, and the small
st boy In the class piped out:
please, sir, think know"
s'Well, Johnnie, what!"
"Mince," said the youngster; and
here was burst Of laughter.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1895-03-28
Grover Is a Deer, But a Hog.

Grover is one of the attractions al
the East Side park in Paterson, n. J.
But Grover has been behaving very
badly lately and does not seem to be
susceptible to reform. Supt. McGraw
has had to call the attention Of the
park commissioners to Growers case.
He recommended that Grover should
be killed. The commission, instead Of
killing him, will make an effort to have
him placed in the menagerie at Central
Park. The buck Is one Of thrse deer
presented to the city few years ago
by Joseph Jefferson. 1t was nanned
after the President. Grover has grown
very fat while his companions are
wasting away. This Is accounted for
by the fact that he takes charge Of
the trough every meal hour and fills
himself UP, while his companions stand
at q respectable distance and watch
him in fear The crumbs that Grover
leaves are barely sufficient to sustain
life in the other inhabitants Of the pen
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1895-03-28
hHg ooFFiN'sEooNTgNrs:
4 Held Within It GhRsf1y &urpTaee
for One Man.

M.
It Held Within It ohastly surpzias
for Ono Man.
'Trainmen running On the variou
nads that cross the border line between
the United States and Canada" said
man connected with an important rail-
road, "tell a good many funny tales
about smuggling, and some that are moi
npny at all
"a favorite way to smugsle valuable
articles across the line, in either d1rec'
tlon, used to be to pack them In q coffin
nnd then pay regular passenger fare
for a supposed corpse. It was thoughs
that coffin would excite less suspicion
than any other kind Of boz, and that
customs officers would never think OF
disturbing the dead in order to search
for dutiable trinkets. The plan worked
we'll for long time, but one or two
fragrant cases Of fraud were discovered.
Ind finally the officers became more sus'
picious Of collins than anything else.
That was the natural reaction from
their former oyerconhdence.
"Well, one day coffin YVES put or
board a Central Vermont baggage carat
Rouse's Point, addressed to Toronto.
In charge Of it was young man, whose
swollen eyes bespoke much weeping,
md whose mourning garb seemed to
indicate clearly enough that he was a
near relative Of the man or woman
L l-,t t6a
He took his seat beside the coffin and
without moving continued to gaze at 1t.
Such grief seemed to the railroad peo-
pie unnatural, and they became per
suaded that the coffin was full Of SNUG
gled goods. They, therefore, determined
70 examine It
"When the train reached little sta
tion at which q stop was made ZOE
heals, the conductor, after great effort
| Induced the young man to leave the car
long enough to get cup Of coffee, as
surirg him solemnly that the coffin
would be carefully watched and left.
lndisturbed.
"No sooner had he entered the res
aurant than the conductor and bag.
1ageman made rush for the coffin.
"'Wonder what we've got here, Bill
said one of them; silk or lace most like
". Lord! how well that smuggler acts
| ais part. A man'd swear he'd just
,cen left an orphan
"'Too heavy for lace was the reply.
Must be silk or tobacco. He's smooth
,ne, is that young man. Knows his
business, he does
There were other jokes than these
gorse ones, but In the meantime they
lad been prying up the coffin lid.
With a rasping jerk the nails left tho
over woodwork and under the flick
.ring yellow light Of lantern, both
nen peered into the box. They saw
"But Bill had fallen backward.
$50 he said, that's my mothes,
I haven't seen her for years. May God
telp me-"
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1895-03-28
CHICAGO CHARITY MAE.
The Journal Punctures the S1,ooo,ooo

The Journal Punctures the S1,ooo.ooo
Relief Fund Nonsense.
There was more foolish talk at the
meeting Of the Central Relief Asso'
citation last evening about the need
Of 81, 900, 900 to meet the existing
distress Of the unemployed in Chi
cago, says the Journal. The absurd
and groundless estimate OF these as
numbering 100, 900 first put atloIt by
W. P. Rend was again brought Tor
ward as premise for the million
dollar need. Since the Worlds Fair
with it's lavish expenditure OF mill
ions and it's crowds running from
100, 900 to 729, 900 day, it seems I'M
possible for many Of our citizens TO
get down out Of the millions and
hundreds Of thousands to everyday
tens, hundreds and thousands which
are sufficient for the enumeration or
those needing assistance in the pres
ent emergency.
The experience Of every organiZS
tion properly regulated for the dis
tribution Of assistance to the neceS-
sitous during the past two weeks
has been to prove that all the stories
of want are three-Quarters humeug.
At the depots established to furnish
food and lodging it has been 1ound
that out of 1000 that wanted them
free, there were only 500 ready to
work for them. The different wood
yards throughout the city have at no
time had surplus Of labor for food
and lodging. Employment bureaus
find that work outside Of Chicago at
$3.50 day with transportation pro-
yided is no temptation to the unem-
ployed who are deluded by talk about
$1,000, 600 funds Private citizens
find it difficult to get ordinary chores
about their houses done at % cents
an hour. Where the wood-pile test
is applied to beggars they shrug their
shoulders at regular wages with a
meal thrown in and depart 1or
greener pastures.
As for the thousands Of tramps
Who have been invited here by the
million-dollar madness the city Is
preparing to take care Of tn m. The
stone pile at the Bfidewell will af-
ford them the occupation their con-
stitutions demand, They will have
their choice of working on the streets
for food and lodging from the Relief
Association or on the stone pile Tor
quarters and rations furnished by the
authorities, or knowing on" to an
other county. Chicago does not want
it's charitable measures delayed or
wasted by the intrusion OF these
locuStS of distress.
The warning Of Mr.. Harvey against
giving money to people who solicit it
on the street should be needed by
every one. Every nickel or dime be-
slowed in this way is an encourage
ment to idleness and a tribute to
fraud. AS he SAYS, "no honest man
who is hungry will decline to work,
and the association is ready to fur
nish labor for all"
Let mo food for the able bodied
destitute without work." be the In
variable watchword of relief asSo'
Citations, and let US have an end OF
talk about the 100, 900 unemployed
and $1,000 funds
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1895-03-28
Observation Cultivated.

A novel method Of cultivating the
faculty of observation in children has
been introduced by teacher an an up
town kindergarten. She tells her pu.
pills that she is about to have
a coll from someone VINO
will remain only three minutes;
that no one must directly stare
at him, but that the pupil who
gives the best description Of him af'.
ter his departure will receive prize.
The other day her father, a Grand
Army VETERAN in uniform, performed
the part of caller, and some of the
personal descriptions after he had
bowed himself out denoted unusually
quick and accurate attention to de-
tail. One boy had counted all. his
buttons and gave the number cor
recily, another noticed an almost in
visible scar on his face, and various
others gave details Of the color and
5. ape of his beard, hair and uniform.
The one who received the prize was 4
little girl, who declared he had "au
expression on his face "-Philadel-
phla Record
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1895-03-28
OWNS THE NORTHWEST MINE.
Located in Uncle Sans Possession
Under the Midnight SUN.

LOCaGeO SoAA .
Under the Midnight Sun.
There was a man in Seattle recently
who owns a mine located probably
further north than any mine IN the
gorld. He is J. C. Green, and his mine
Is called the Omalik mine. It Is s1tua-
ted on the Fish River on the extreme
northwestern part Of Alaska, near 60
Iovnin Bay, which is about sixty miles
north of st. Michael's. To get a bet
ter idea Of how far north Mr.. Green
has gone in search CT his treasure the
location of his mine is in latitude e5
degrees north, longitude 164 west, over
1000 miles northwest Of Sitka.
Mr.. Green got possession Of his mile
In 1881, and has since spent about
s1OO, 900 in developing it. The mine Is
as unique as its location, being solid
metal" The ore is galena, Is per cent.
Of lead, carrying 143 ounces OF silver
% the ton and very little gold.
Mr.. Green generally spends his win
ters In California, chartering ship
every spring to carry his supply OF
stores and the miners he takes with
him to his northern Eldorado. He pays
his men SIS a month and board, but
thew do not receive their pay until af-
ter the years work is done and the car
20 of ore they have taken from the mine
has been brought down to San Fran
cisco and sold They are then paid of
and receive from 5000 to $1,000 apiece,
which comes to them in lump, for on
Golovnin Bay there are no stores, no
saloons and no opportunity for them to
spend money If they wished.
The natives, the Esquimau1, are d
peaceable, intelligent people, and are
very quick to learn the ways and Gus
toms Of the Americans. Mr.. Green en-
ploys them to work about the mines,
and finds them to be active and will
Ing workers.
The climate is not so severe as one
would suppose it would be In such
northern latitude, the summer being
warm and pleasant ana the winters LOU
so cold as in some latitudes farther
south. It Is the land Of the midnight
sun, and the wonders Of the aurora
borealis are seen in all their splendor.
There are no white people there except
the miners that are taken up each year,
but Mr.. Green says that one doesn't
have a chance to get lonesome, as
there are fish in the streams to catch.
birds in the air to shoot and four-footed
snimals Of the earth to kill.
Mr.. Green Is great enthusiast over
The resources and coming destiny Of
the great northern empire Of Alaska,
and says that few people have an idea
Of its marvellous wealth and the extent
Of its resources.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1895-03-28
rERRoRIzED BY a WOMAN. >
She IL Red-Headed, Wel1-Arucd ana
II PeddliuS DR., Talmase's Book.

She IL Red-Headed, Wel1-Arnned ane
Peddliuz DR.. Talmase's Book.
Tie western part Of Logan COUNTY
Zen lucky, has been greatly excited fol
the last three weeks over what ap'
peared to be a woman tramp, who has
been going from house to house. She
is Of medium size, with reddish hair,
wears a veil constantly at tho table,
and claims to be an agent for one OF
DR.. Talmage's books. When asked ia
see the book she tells the people that
everybody ought to know what it isr
and refuses to show it. She has moi
taken a single subscription, but at eV'
cry house she visits she shows a long
list of prominent people whom she has
visited
She has called at nearly every hous<
In the western part Of the county, ano
never has offered to pay G cent to any
one for her meals and lodging. AT
every place she displays four large re-
yolvers. She says she carries them
to protect herself. No one would care
to molest her, especially after seeing
the wicked engines Of death that she
carries. She has little trouble III get
ing from one house to another. When
the distance is too far to walk she asks
the farmer at whose house she happens
to be to hitch up his buggy and take
her over. OF course, he thinks she Is
rather cheeky" but the picture OF
those four big revolvers comes up be-
fcre his minds eye, and he bitches up
the buggy without protest
She will not sleep in room with an,
one, says the Louisville Courier-Jour-
nal, and has wanted to rent from any
number Of farmers couple Of rooms
for a short period. The rooms have al
ways been refused her. The woman
is never seen without veil, which Is
heavy and almost completely hides her
face. Some think her man masQuer-
aiding In female attire. She has g.
large face, rather coarse voice, ana
wears, as most Of those think who
have seen her, reddish wig. She has
given different names. and claims a
number Of places as her home.
Some believe her an escaped lunatie
while others firmly believe that she !s
the advance agent Of an organized
band Of robbers. Be she man, woman,
or devil, her appearance has terrorized
every family she has visited in the
county. She is now In the Allensville
neighborhood, in Todd County, and the
people In Logan County are breathing
easier.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1895-03-28

Through the use of anti-toxine IL
Trieste, the death rate in cases OF
iiphther1s. has fallen from fifty to
eighteen per cent. in Bukowina from
sixty three to sixteen per cent.
AS result of the examination OF
900 eyes, DR.. Miles Of Bridgeport,
Conn, found that sixty-ive per cent,
required glasses. The women aut
urls far exc ed the nen and boys.
Sirius, the dog star, the briahtest
star in the heavens, moves through
space at velocity of thirty three miles
second. It's di>tance from the earth
exceeds about million times the dis.
lance of the sun.
No parental care ever falls to tn
lot of a single member of the insect
tribe. In general, the eggs of en- Ia
sect are destined to be hatched long
after the parents are dead.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1895-03-28
DEFINITIONS.

Bobby-'Pop, what is musicale?"
Fond Parent-:'A musicale, my son,
is where lot ofpeople who know each
other meet together, and talk in @
loud tone of voice about the rest Of
the people they know. ,.7ho are not
present"
Bobby-"And what is g converse.
zione, Pop?"
Fond Parent-"A conversazione is
where the same people sit in sad and
solemn silence, listening to lot OF
mildewed music. Puck.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1895-03-28
THE GOAL WE NEVER REACH

It was noortime in the city, -
And the crowds went whirling past
Where little grimy bootblack
Rested from his work at lasts
Leaning up against the corner,
AS he etc his bite OF bread,
While the people hurried past him
To more pretentious spread
'Ah, if were but salesnans
That's the very life for me;"
Thus the little Dootblack muses.,
'Nothing else I'd ask to be-"
Twenty years, and now the salesman
Has forgot his bootblack trade,
In life Of ceaseless changes,
And the vow that once he made,
Now be sees the prosperous merchant
And longing finds its way
To his heart, and then he murnurs
AS he did that other day
"Ah, If were but merchant
That's the ideal life for me-"
And the busy salesman muses.,
Nothing else I'd ask to be-"
But when two more decades find him
Busy in the whirl of trade,
Resting but for just one moment
In the quiet noontime shade,
And rich, retired banker
In his coach goes driving by,
Then that same old f1tful longing
Comes again into his eye.
".Ah, if I could but retire
From this busy, fretful strife.~
20 the weary merchant muses.,
'.That is all I'd ask Of life"
Then another score of summers
Sees him in . mansion grand,
Eut his limbs are weak and trembling
And the staff falls from his hand;
Now another bootblack fingers
In that old familiar place,
And the old man looks with envy
On his young but smutty face.
s.Ah, II could taste the sweetness
or that bootblack's MONDAY meal
Once again to feel the deetness
That his youthful limbs can feel,
Iwould barter all the riches
That this life of work has Won"
THUS the wealthy man now muses.
When that lie is nearly done.
-E lsa.1 KlocS, In New York Mercury.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1895-03-28
~ Motive.

81 am surprised that man Of your
intelligence and old family could lind
no better name than Andrew Jack
SOU" "You don't understand my
motive. He will never succeed 10
being a dude with such name as
that" t."-Indianapolis Journal.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1895-03-28

~ are SODeE,
General; !; you
seem preoccu-
p i Q d, sad,
q u ct when
with me. Can
it be from lack
Of interest ?"
Thus spake
t b 9 pretty
c. O u n t e 8 8
Alvis Zelin-
ska. in @ aoff
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1895-03-28
The Milestone.

One Of the Twins (decIdedly)-One
Of US must accept him. The Other
Why? Tie One-Why you know
mamma is under obligations to his
mother for that marmalade recile.-
Truth
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1895-03-28
Willie Was Glad.

William (at his history lesson)-
Pm glad I wasn't born 100 or 200
years from now. Williams Father
WHY, William? Williain-Just tn nix
how much more history those fellows
will have to study.-Puck.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1895-03-28
A VOLUNTEER.

~OU are sober,
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1895-09-19
Ireland Will Speak.

CLEVELAND, Sept. 19.-Mr. Frank A.
Flower, secretary of the international
Deep Water Ways association, the IN
nual convention of which begins here
on Sept. "a, received a letter from Arch.
bishop Ireland of st. Paul. He has been
assigned to talk on Effect of Cheaper
Transportation on Christianity and
Civilization" The archbishop writes
that he has not been able to prepare his
subject owing to recent illness, but he
may come and speak without prepare
tipu