The National tribune., 1895-04-25
TRIBUNETS.

| lnere are many more people In the world
now than ever before since 1t was created.
| Consequently, there are more FOOLS cranks and
| criminals than ever before. Still more, all oil
| these are more closely in reach of the news
| papers, telegraphs, etc, than ever before, and
We hear from about every one of them now,
| where, at the beginning of this century, the
knowledge of their folly and evil would have
been confined to their own little neighborhoods.
| This is what makes silly people think that the
world is growing worse and more foolish, when
the reverse Is really the case There are not
only more really good, sensible people in the
world than ever. but the proportion of these in
every community Is much greater. The only
difference is thst we hear all about the foolish
and vicious people. and very little about tho
good ones A man rarely gets into public notice
unless he does something absurd or wicked.
IS.
Literary Digest: ais this where you vote"?
said the Ohio voteress to the election officer
"Yes, Madam"
"Then please cut me off samples of all the
tickets, and I'll take them home and see which
like the best"
Nothing indicates the depressing effect of
the low price of cotton so well as that the regu-
lar selling rate OF an Arkansas Legislator is
$780, This raises question for the quack econo-
mists. Why shouldn't man be allowed to buy
Legislators as he buys other thingsEwhere he
can buy them cheapest and sell them where he
can sell them the dearest-in other words buy
them in Arkansas and sell in Ohio. Illinois,
Pennsylvania, etc. Eh2 Let's discuss the
natural rights" of this branch of business.
-.
Collector Desha Breckenridge has contrived
a way to make the SD Congress e1ecrated by
the Kentucky molders OF public opinion. He
claims that the income tax applies to racecourse
winnings. why didn't we secede. too, in
1867? gasped every Kursel in Kentucky,
when he read the announcement.
s*x
They say that the way the new counterfeit
stamps were discovered was by their being so
much better engraved, printed and gummed
than those turned cut by the Government
This recalls that the fac smile" of the Con-
federate Government could always be readily
detected from the genuine by the superiority
of its workmanship.
There is lots of trouble ahead for Postmas-
ter-General Wilson. He has to pass on the in
dorsements for West Virginia Postmasterships
he made while a member Of Congress.
IS.
ON HON. STEVE ELKINs,
The newspapers are having some fun with
new story on Hon. Steve Elkins. It runs that
when Elkins was q great, numbering boy in
college, he and another student who is now
Representative john T. Heard. went to a
small river near Columbia, Mo-, for little sport
They had bad luck-not fish, bird or squirrel
and came near starving. Finally, as a des-
perate resort, they were driven to raid neigh
boring hen-roost one night. They climbed the
tree where the chickens were, but the dogs
raised the alarm, the farmer came to the door
with gun, fired into the tree, and Elkins fell
to the ground. terribly scared. but unwounded.
The farmer gathered him up locked him in
the smokehouse over night, and started with
him to the Squire's next morning but Elkins
broke away, and never stopped in his flight until
he was safe in the college walls, 80 miles away
In the meanwhile Heard "he lay low" in the
tree, and was unnoticed by the farmer. The |
jury oiouSnb III
Elkins. and this seemed to com pletely crush |
him. He had prepared great speech for COM |
mencement day, but hadn't the heart to deliver |
it. until he heard the good news that the indict-
ment had been nollied. Then he went on with |
his speech in great shape until when, in the |
midst of one of his finest passages. the rascally
students let loose chicken in the midst of the |
hall.