Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1895-08-11
WAITING FOR A WOMAN TO GET
READY"

Are you man?
Ii so, you have probably had the
pleasure of waiting for woman to get
ready" to 90 somewhere.
Getting ready is a mighty operation
for woman to perform.
1t always has been so; but in these
days of complicated costumes, and in
Vulnerable appendages Of the toilet,
il is a stupendous undertaking.
You are infatuated with Miss 3. You
are wise enough to know that all women
or the most of them, admire a fine
turnout. and would much sooner be
made love to by a man who owns a
nice team than by one who takes his
airings in horse cars and omnibuses.
You set.the time half-past three p. m.
She sweetly asks you if you could Just
as well come at four? OF course she
would likelto go earlier, but she doubts
if she can get ready; and, OF course, as
YOU are not married to her, you are
only too happy to do just as she wants
YOU to. After marriage, as the French
say. I'VE change all that and madame
must be ready when monsieur bids her,
or she is left behind.
At precisely four the next day. you
drive up to Miss B. gate with grand
flourish. Il. looks old fogyish to be
walking your horses up to hitching
place. and you have been showing the
animals your whip a few blocks away.
They are stirred up by it, and toss their
heads. and paw up Papa BIS concrete
and snap az he shrubbery in vicious
way. and assure you equinely that they
would just as soon not wait for a woman
to get ready.
You think first you won't hitch them
for surely she must be ready; but re-
membefing former experiences with
those of her sex, you change your mind
and give a small boy ten cents to have
an eye on them. You ring the door bell
and are admitted, and the small boy en-
cages in marble playing with another
small boy, and trusts the horses t.
Providence.
rs Miss B. ready?" you ask the maid
servant.
She doesn't know; she'll go inquire
You stand first on one foot and then OIL
the other, and stare at the nat tree, and
pull up your neW-style collar, whicl
ought to stand up, but which has devel-
oped an obstinate tendency 10 lop down
and you wonder where on earth that
servant has to go 10 inquire" and yoc
run out to see 10 your horses, and adj
minister some sharp words 10 youl
small delinquent groom, and h7 thumb.
his nose at you the moment your back
is turned.
BY the time you get'into the house
again Mrs. B. is coming down the stairs
in a toilet made in evident haste. she
IS cordial, and invites you into the par
lors. and says Maria will be down ID
a moment, and she is so sorry to have
kept you waiting.
From above stairs you can hear tnl
sound CT the notes Of PREPARATION. Mucn
treading back and forth, opening Of
closet doors, shutting Of drawers, sco.a-
ings of the maid, In suppressed tones
and liveliness generally.
II you could look INFO Marie's chamber
you would be in despair. Her "crlmD7
are not taken down, her boots are un-
buttoned. her skirts elastic cords are
out of gear, and the maid is fixing hem
she cant find her bracelets, one cuff
pin is missing, she has pu. arnica on
her handkerchief by mistake, thinking
| II Jockey club there is a button of heI
Jacket from hurried buttoning and on
dear! where are her parasol, ana heI
iemon kids. and her lace scarf. and ina.
coral neck-chain, and shawl, and heI