The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1895-01-05
keM,6YsHS
'sAa Us saS'l1
HOW TO TALK TO MEN.

There is Il Turkish legend that gives
good index TO this part of social ethics.
A mendicant was dying. He called his
son to his bedside and said: " My boy,
you must go through life trusting to
yourself now. | can leave you no money,
but much wisdom and this mirror. Carry
it always with the back to your face,
presenting the mirrored surface to the
world"
Years passed on, and the boy mendicant
became rich merchant. Gold had poured
into his Golfers as he walked through the
world, his shining shield rejecting all he
met.
Contentment came with these riches,
then curiosity. Why, he thought, am | so
loved? What do | do that men should
call me fair and agreeable? What occult
magnetism do possess to so easily compel
this flow of riches? And he turned the
mirror for the first time toward his own
face. He was charmed. 1t gave back his
features beautiful and glorifed. He saw
himself in its shimmering surface a creature
fair to behold, agreeable to be WITH Il laugh
ing enchanting picture Lost in rapture
and love for himself he paused in his way
thereafter to gaze into the exquisite depths
of his fathers gift.
Gold there was none left. People passed
him by unsmiling. He wondered, when
not absorbed with self, why this condition
was and he died poor and forgotten.
The legend is to society as the laws of
the Pundit to the Brahmans. 1t explains
all. Go through life rejecting people, not
as they are but as they wish to be,
and the good things Of the world are
yours.
Why present to any man an ugly image
of himself when his faults can be ignored
and his virtues pleasingly presented with
out seeming ostentation or t1attery?
Some veritst may exclaim that such an
attitude is not fair one-but now prove
his theory. There need be no ''toadying,'
no cringing, no 'playing for favors," but
the brighter side of each mans life sug-
gested to him by conversation.
Another claim to remembrance is this:
Said society woman known for her
tact and quantity of friends, whom |
quericd as to her social tactics: :" have Il
plan-possbIy not original, but certainly
successful - of ignoring the especially
pleasant thing a man necessarily knows
about himself. Each one has particular
accomplishment that this world invariably
tacks to his name. He is pleased. OF
course, to possess this one accomplishment,
but rest assured, he secretly wonders if it
can be the sum total Of his attraction. SO
! try to discover some other quality.
find if he has the virtue of dressing we'll
then also discover some immensely clever
remark of his. | make point of mention
ing it to him.
If, ON the other hand, he is clever, then
| particularly admire a certain suit of
clothes or the fashion in his ties. If he
dances well then find that he has made
some good business deals. Be perfectly
sure, my dear, he will think You vastly
more appreciative than any other woman,
and the underlined gratitude he feels at the
bright side of himself you have reflected
back brings you many delightful attcn-
ton" And she concluded: "This is not
hypocrisy in me, nor silly vanity in him.
| love to be treated after that manner
myself and my gratitude is equal to the
MANS
third point is to remember, if possible,
what man talked most interestingly or
earnestly to you about the last time you
met 1t shows interest in most subtle
way. Naturally this is no easy task if the
lapses between visits are long, and you
meet goodly number of men. But if it
is possill lie to remember the result will
prove its wisdom. ''As you once said "
has penetrating sham for the listener,
be it man or woman. 1t is useless to deny
that for human nature the first person sin
lar is the most agreeable con ugation in
grammar And this brings up final bit
of advice which is one of the well-known
arts of versation-paradoNica as it may
seem-be a patient, sympathetic listener.
For it is essentially true that he who proves
you a clever talker by his attention will
impress you more with his cleverncss than
had he talked.
A GRACEFUL BEARING.