Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-07-04
Sprink1es Of Spice.

Sprink1es of Spice.
Trilby, Trilby, give US your answer
What in the name Of goodness have we
ever done to you?
Town Topics.
Miss Cross-What would you do If
you were in my shoes? Miss Sharpe
Turn my toes out-Yonkers States
man.
"Aw-why do you make your own
cigarettes?" "My-aw-doctor ordered
me to take some light exercise. Pail
Mall Budget
Citticus-I wonder how it is that so
few women stutter when they talk?
Witticus-They haven't time.-Tam-
many Times.
Chimmie--Wots de matter wild you?
CLonnie-Im sick. De doctor says I've
got an ulster in my t'roat.-Philadel-
phia Record.
She-Tell Inc, when you were in the
army, were you cool in the hour Of
danger? He-Cool? l actually shiv-
ered.--Tid-Bits ~
She-What kind ola lawn mower did
you get, dearie? He-I got feather
weight, darling, so you can push it,
Louisville COurier-J Journal.
New Arrival-Are all your rooms en-
gagged? Hotel Proprietor-Yes; but
there are lot of summer girls about
here who aren't-Philadelphi Record.
Maud-That stupid fellow proposed
to me last night. He ought to have
known beforehand that l should refuse
him. Marie-Perhaps he did-Brook-
lyn Life.
ooh, wed with me; oh, be my wife,
I'll be the sunshine Of your life
"Sunshine! Horrors!' said the maid,
"Such talk at ninety in the shade!'
indianapolis Journal.
Summer Resorter-And is everything
on your farm nice and fresh? Farmer
Nice and fresh? l guess you'd think
SO if you'd see some of our city board
ers.-Boston Transcript.
First Sojourner-Do you always get
your meals on time here? Second So
journer-Yes; have to till some of my
friends show up. I'm deucedly glad
to see you.-B0ston Courier.
Miss Oldgirl-You must promise not
to kiss me while | am unconscious.
Dentist shall do nothing of the kind.
Miss Oldgirl with happy sigh)-Turn
on the gas.-LeSlie's Weekly.
Experience in the worlds ways shows
That as a general rule
The politician who has the push
Is the one who has the pull.
Boston Courier
hearty dinner that guess I'll have to
60 up stairs and sleep it off. Hotel
Clerk-In that case, Well have to
charge you with a meal taken to your
ro0m.-Life.
What is the new boarder's business,
Pauline?' asked the Cheerful Idiot.
He isrunninga bicycle school," replied
the waiter girl. ooh! Teaching the
young idea how to scoot, is he?-Cin-
cinnati Tribune
Jester-Of course you've heard the
latest about BooZeman; he isn't drink
ing any more. Quester-Don't say;
well, that's to his credit Jester-Oh,
no; it is to his lack of credit.-Rich-
mond Dispatch.
Mr.. Busyman-I have been summon
ed for jury duty; how can l get off?
Lawyer-Oh, just let them see that you
know how much two and two make,
and they'll excuse you in a jiffy.-
Brooklyn Eagle.
He-l hear you attend the Handel
and Haydn performances. Were you
present at the "Creation?' She in-
dignaptly)-I suppose you will next
want to know if sailed in Noah's ark?
Boston Beacon.
Pact is said che man, II married
because ] was lonely as much as for
any other reason. To put it tersely. I
married for sympathy Well" said
the other man, you have mine. In
diauaDolis Journal
Willie SAVANNA says she always
likes to call On you. Mrs. Twicken-
lie? Willie-Yes'n. When she goes
away she says she feels SO satisfied
with erself.--Brooklyn Life.
"But, papa pleaded the impassion-
ed maiden, che is the only man love"
That's right" replied the brutal old
man; Il All glad that daughter Of
neilie does not love more than one man
at time Household Words
Madame" began Mr.. Dismal Daw-
son, you sec before you victim Of
circumstances" ooh, | do?'' said the
suspicious lady. What cirrum-
staEccsY' Straite ed circalm-
stances, ma'am. indianapolis Jour-
nal.