The Press., 1895-05-23

m0ulCIuo, lie KNOWS ne mas lOu1u d rem edy upon which he may rely, and that his lifelong malady is at last conquered Has cured others, will cure you.
 Two words in the English language contain all the vowels in their regular order. They are abstemious and facetious
 IT DID THE BUSINESS MT J. II. Cobb, publisher of the Mirror at Brocton, N. Y., says ''For nearly two years the Mirror has been publishing the advertisements of Chamberlains Remedies. A few days ago the writer was suffering from a bowel trouble and resOrted to an old remedy which did not prove efficacious finally he tried Chamberlain's Collie, Cholera and Diarrh9a Remedy and two doses did the business, checking it completely" For sale by w. W. LathrOp, Stafford Springs G. L. Phillips, South Coventry.
 It is said of Horace Greeley that he once said: ''I have made plenty of mis- takes in my life, but they were always new mistakes. Everybody blunders; it is the wise person who does not blunder in the same way twice."
 w. T. Sanford, Station Agent of Leep- CT, Clarion Co.,. Pa, writes: can recom- mend One Minute Cough Cure as the best I ever used. It gave instant relief and a quick cure. w. D. Heald, Stafford Springs; G. L. Phillips, South Coventry.
 "Once, at least, ridicule was of great benefit to the human race"
 "When was that ?''
 "Whcn Edison made light of electric ity."
 AGREEABLY SURPRISED. .--"I had very severe cold on my lungs that caused much soreness and gave me considerable un- easiness in regard to the result, |" says Mr. | T. E. Smith of Billerica, Mass. "A local druggist called my attention to Chamber lain's Cough Remedy, and on his recOm- mendation l gave the remedy careful trial. The result surprised me; l recov- cred entirely in three days" % and 50 cent bottles for sale by w. w. Lathrop, Stafford Springs; G. L. Phillips, South | Coventry.
 Shopper-"Isn't e rather dear for this?"
 Salesman-''The price is @. That other ticket is meant to be kept on when you make a present of the article"
 Sick Headache, constipation and indi- gestion are quickly cured by by DeWitt's Little Early Risers, the famous little pills. w. D. Heald, Stafford Springs; G. L., Phillips, South Coventry.
 She Can you receive shock through the telephone?
 He-Well, that depends upon who's at | the other end.
 De Witt's Witch Hazel Salve cures scalds, burns, indolent sores and never fails to cure piles. w. D. Heald, Stafford Springs; G. L. Phillips, South Coventry.
 "I guess," said the sharp-nosed girl, ''that l will take the wind out of her sails" Why" asked the fluffy girl, "don't you be up to date and say take the wind out of her tires"
 La Grippe is here again with all of it's old time vigor. One Minute Cough Cure s a reliable remedy. It cures and cures quickly. w. D. Heald, Stafford Springs G. L. Phillips, South Coventry.
 "Oh, children! You a1e so noisy to- day Can't you be little stiller and bet l OCA 4NO"1 SItblldll4Cts SOI IuuSU DC u little considerate and not scold us. You see, if it isn't for for us you wouldn't be a grandma at all."
 Our OF SoRTs.-That is the way you feel as result of the headache you had when you awoke this morning. Get in your usual frame of mind and body by using Ripans Tabule, the standard rem edy for all stomach and liver complaints
 Open hearts, with closed purses, satisfy no neighbours hunger.
 Doctor H. R. Fish, of Gravois Mills Mo-, practicing physician of many years experience, writes: De Witt'sWitch Haze Salve has no equal for indolent sores scalds and burns. It stops pain instantly heals burn quickly and leaves no scar W. D. Heald, Stafford Springs; c. L. Phillips, South Coventry.
 The fires of ambition often end only ir smoke, aud cigarette smoke at that
 -WOULDN'TA A SALARY COME HANDY?- See advertisement of a "Chance to carr money" in another column, if you want 8 position.