Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1895-08-04

other side is the south pole. And the whole world, nanny and billy and all, whether ye believe it or no, is whirliny around on that big pole, thousand miles second, like a button on a nail"
 Dye tell me, Mickeyl and that's what science t'aches, is itl Bad luck to me, but I'd like to have the conthrec3 for t be furneshing the axle-grase at d raysonable price"
 A host of stars winked shyly down at MT. Finn, as he slowly digested this marvellous Irish hypothesis. He slow ly emerged from his trance of incredul- ity and wonder to inquire:
 What is the pole made of, Mickey?"
 Well, there's some O them thinks 'tis made of ice, bekase 'tis that cold at both inds O the pole that the ears of an iron dog would drop off if he left the stove while ye be winlzin'. But if ye be axin' my opinion, as is ignorant O sciences but has common sinse, I'd say twas made of safe metal"
 ''Safe metal, is it? I've seen iron and brass and steel, but divil wan O me ever heerd tell O safe metal What is it like, Micl1ey?"
 ''Why, father it's the kind O metal they make safes out of"
 "D'ye tell me so 'avicl And what makes ye think they made the axle of safe metal and not of ice?"
 "Belkase 'twould not melt by hate"
 'Arrah, what nonsinse is this we're sayin, Mickey! Ain't ye afther sayin' it's so cold at the north pole that the tall w'ud be frozen off the goat if he didn't put it in his pocket?"
 '.Troth, thin, I am, father. But lis ten: Whin 1 open the flood gates O me classicality I'll sweep ye away on the torrent O my learned eloquince and"
 You're right, Mickey" interrupted his father admiringly. You wouldn't be getting down on your hunkers (haunches) to amy O thim that has eddicashun. But what was ye tellin' me?"
 "Wel, resumed the youthful scien- tist, with a grin of self-appreciation yell mind was tellin' ye that twas cold at the North pole and the South pole, but I didn't tell ye anything about the middle O the globe"
 "No. ye did not, Mickey; and what is it like?"
 "Whisper, father: It's hotter down there than the door-knob O tormint, so 'tis.''
 "God save us intire1y, Mickey" ex- claimed his father, crossing himself de- voutly "Ye don't mean t tell me"
 sI mean t tell ye," continued the boy, in hearse whisper, that the pole goes right through the bad place itself, and that Old Nick drives nails in it to hang his ralzes and polzers on. There, now, what dye think O that?'
 "So, that's the how of it, Mickey, is it? Sure I niver thought O that, and l twice your age Faith was thinllin' the bad place was here in the shanty whin yer mother got mad. And now ye tell me 'tis in the middle O the earthl Well if that's the case it's aisy seein' why they didn't make the pole out of ice. Begorra, wonders1I niver cease, as the barkeeper said whin Tim Conlin refused drink And how long have they been lool1in' for the pole?"
 t'Oh, for ages and ages" replied the boy, with a move of the hand indica- tive of infnity."
 ''And in all thim years they niver saw the pole, ye say?"
 "Well, see by the papers that Lef- tenant Peary is afther thinkin' he clapped an odd eye on it five hundred miles away"
 "Whist, now, Mickey, don't be tellin' any lies. How could a man see five hundred miles?"
 .'Sure, father, he couldn't see wid his naked eye; but he had wan O thim ob- servatin' instrumints they call tiliscopes that magnifies things. He clapped this up to his eye wan day and what should he see but big pole higher nor St. Mary's steeple stichin' up out O the water. Anyway, that's the word he's afther sindin' down to the giver'mint by telephone from Umpsumervik, where he was stoppin' in an ice house, it being only fifty degrees below zebro, a warrum day for Greenland, and he wantin' to keep cool. Sc, now the giver'mint is maxim balloon bigger nor tin-aere lot"
 And what will they be afther doin' 'wid the balloon?"
 | '11SIeI, nOWy ldGtlCI, blllS ID VICh sehame-I dunno will it work or no; yell mind the big derrick they have down to McEntee's foundry to hist boilers out of steamboats! We'll, they are going to put the derrick in the bal loon, sail away up north, hitch the der rick to the pole, rise the balloon and pull the pole out O the hole!"
 "Wirra, wirra, Miclzey And what'ell happen thiu?"
 1.-The pole is standiSl' in big oeeant O water filled with white bears bigger nor Mol1 Kelly's heifer, and hunks of ice and walruses. Whin the pole comes out of coorse there1l be big hole, and all the water and ice and bears and things Il be pourin' down the hole. The water will put out the fires in the bad place, drown the divil and all his wicked angels, so therell be no more torment and"
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