Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1895-02-14
THE CITIZEN.
He Saw The Joke.

THE CITIZEN.
He Saw The Joke.
Lord Fitznoddle the second cousin OF
Lord Dundreary had with his valet, the
estimable James Yellow plush, come to
America and gone West in the hope OF
baeging few grizzly bears and buiialoes'
America and the Americans seemed to the
noble lord ''beastly vulgar, doncher know
and this opinion ne frankly told those
Americans whom he favored with his lord
Is society. say the Boston Budget. Never
theless, fate compelled him to accept as
travelling companion a rampant American
They were travelling on horseback across
the prairies and one day after vain search
for the settlement in which they were to
spend the night, they came to cross road
which boasted a charcoal blacksmith's hut
and a sign post The sign read; "Mugg :
Corner four miles on the right hand road.
If you can't read ask the blacksmith
Tbereat the American laughed long and
loud, but the Euglishman remained silent
and pensive.
sI say me good fellow, ," he expostulated,
rT cawn't see the joke, doncher know.
WHAT is 1T
"If vou don't see it, replied the Ameri-
can. 'I'n tell you. But I will tell you
what will do. Ifyou see it before we
leave the inn tomorrow I'll pay the bills
All through the rest of the day and even
ing the Englisnman remained silent. lie
was working the brain Of five centuries OF
culture. When the Amercun retired 10 Ills
straw mattress there had as yet dawned
no CLEAN OF intelligence on the EngLsh-
mans face. But in the middle of the night
The former was awakened by loud knock
on his door, accompanied by hearty
laugh. 81 say, my good man" came the
voice, cit is a good joke, doncher know.
suppose the blacksmith should be out.
PLAIN truth is good enough for Hoods
Sarsaparilla. No need Of sensationalism.
Hoods cures.
The stalest bread on record is an Assy-
rian loaf which has been discovered by
French explorer, NJ. Monthon. This Loaf
is supposed to have been leavened and
baked about the year 500 B. c. 1t is round
not unlike the common bun in shape, and
in color of a delicate brown. 1t Is, we IN
derstand. in perfect condition, having
been found, along with the remnants OF
several similar loaves, wrapped in cloth IN
tightly sealed sarcophagus, the custom
being quite common in Asseria as IN b
gypt TO inclose food in the tombs of the IL
lustrious deceased.
How often we hear middle-aged peo
pie say regarding that reliable old cough
remedy, \. Ii. Downs Elixir: Nv ny, my
mother gave it 20 me when | was child,
and | use it in my family; it always cures.
1t is always guaranteed 70 cure or money
refunded.
The highest death rate of any town IN
the civilized world is that of the City OF
Mexico-40 per LOCO The city is 1000
feet above the sea level, but in spite OF
this fact its defective drainage makes the
mortality very great. Mr.. Romero, the
| Mexican Minister at Washington, explains
in a recent article that when the water in
Lake Texcoco is high it backs up into the
sewers until the soil under the houses and
streets il saturated withlsewage.
The most remarkable case of rapid
growth is said to be recorded by the
French Academy in 1929. 1t was boy 6
years of age, feet inches in heigth. At
the age of 5 his voice changed, at his
beard had grown, and he appeared man
of 80. His decline was as NAKED as his
| growth. At bis hair and beard We're
gray; at ten he tottered in his walk, his
teeth fell out, and his haud became palsied
and at II he died with every outward sign
of extreme old age.
| Every mother should have Arnica d
| Oil Liniment always in tue house in case
| Of accident from burns, scalds or bruises.
Judging by the Blair-White contest
"nooze and Doodle" are the prime factors
in the politics of Indiana county.
For sneezng at a theatre and refusing
to g out, San Francisco man has been
fined $40 and costs. Sweet land of hber-
ty."
in 1924, a deposit of $40 was made in a
bank at Brunswick, Ne, for the benefit OF
Miss Salome II Snow. She died recently
and her executors find the little saving
| grown into a sum of 81, 3O5.
| A butcher in Belfast, Me-, is training
a hog to harness, driving him behind a
sled He has also two tame skunks who
act as tramp discouragers.
rheumatism cured III day-"MyStic
| cure" for rheumatism and neuralgia, radio
ally cures in ! to days. Its action upon
the system is remarkable and mysterious.
1t removes at once the cause and the dis
ease Immediately disappears. The hrst
dose greatly benefits. 70 cts. Sold by j. q
Redick, druggist. Butler.
The German Emperor's recent allus-
ion to himself as a decendent of Frederick
the Great is a good match for the Prince Of
Wales famous reference to my ancestor,
Queen E Elizabeth" Frederick the great
hayeing died childless, and Eli v
ing been a maiden queen, the royalties OF
this day are placing themselves on para
lell as to historical accuracy with the oc-
casional dicoyeries in this country of elm
cal descendants of George Washington"
Itch on human, mango on horses,
dogs and all stock, cured in 80 minutes
by Wooliord's Sanitary Lotion. This
never fails. Sold by j. c. Rediek, drug.
gist, Butler Pa.
There died recently at Jacksonville
Fla. a full blooded negro, and the only