Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-01-01
TAKING HIS UNCLE AROUND.
4 Kindly Nephew Is Bothered by the Old
Man In q Store.

There are some old men living who have
not seen all the sights of the city. Now
and then one comes in who is a counter
part of. Joshua Whitcomb. Such a one
was here last week. He has lived nearly
40 years not far from a Wisconsin town
which is within two hours ride of Chica-
go. He has nephew here who took him
around for two days. and the nephew Is
Enjoying himself relating some of the an.
tics Of his Badger uncle.
1--WE took an elevator" said tho nephew,
''in one of the retail dry goods houses,
and while the man in charge was waiting
for others to get in my uncle said to him:
Hurry up now. If you're going to wait
for load, We'll get out and walk just
as the car started he said to the man:
| Don't let go the rope. l reckon l could
jump out and beat it down, but I'd like
to enjoy the full ride if it's the same to
you We reached the third floor and the
man called out: Third floor. Ladies' cor
sets. underwear, silk skirts, hosiery and
patterns Stop 'er called ont my uncle,
and turning to me he said: Come on,
jim. This is where l want to land and
as we were leaving the car he said to the
man in charge: Jest hold your horses
here for few minutes till we come back.
Now, don't run away, cause l want to go
down to the roof when get on again.
eve were soon in the midst of the
young salosladies of the department.. My
uncle, after looking about for a moment
remarked in a perfectly honest way: I
guess you are all orphans or widders may
be, seeing that you are all dressed in black
guess the concern here is pretty good to
give you jobs. I'm awfully sorry for the
lot of you, and if you ever get away Sun.
days and can come out to - I'll meet
Vou and take you out to the farm and give
.ou the best we got My ole woman
would be powerful glad to have you. Jim,
here, is my nephew; lives here in Chicago.
Reckon you all know Jim, hey, Jim?'
1.-THE situation was embarrassing and
pulled him away. The young women
were blushing and laughing. AS we pass
ed ont he saw one of those ugly Chinese
gods in the tea department. Before
could stop my uncle he had hit the idol in
the face with his SLOUGH hat, kicked at it
and then said to me: Say, Jim, if your
Aunt Betsy had that out to the farm,
she'd use it for a bee gum. 1 wonder
what they'll let it go for?' tuggod at his
elbow until l got him away. We were
then in sight of a descending elevator
He broke from my clutch, and making a
dash for tho car he called back to me:
Come on, jim. I'll hold her till you get
aboard, and when reached the car he
had hold like wise on the cable, while
the conductor was crowded back in the
corner Keep back, or I'll brain you, my
uncle was saying to the conductor. L
know what I'm doing. Say, Jim, grab
the rope minute till l spit on my hands,
and then I'll run her to the cellar.
by the time he released the rope l had
him in the corner, where l held him until
we reached the first floor. got him out
of. the car and finally got him to his train,
and while 1 enjoyed his antics l was tic
killed. when 1 knew he was gone, for l didn't
know while he was here what minute he
would break away and cause me trouble.
He is one of the best old men that ever
lived, but liable to go off half cooked at
anything that is novel. ''-Chicago Herald