The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1895-07-26

| celluloid toliet-set, along comes a man
with an AK and puts an end TO his pom
poslty and conceit Still, some turkeys
who have lived TO ripe old age have
discovered the delusion and have deceived
the man with the AK in his turn, by
taking vigorous calisthenic exercise
every morning, thus bringing the muscles
up TO such state Of perfection that any
OF the new steel-clad cruisers could take
points from him on the power OF resist
anee. The turkey is not always spring
chicken, and you can't blame him, either
People who have agitated the turkey
question over the boarding house table,
/ have entertained SO much prejudice
against that unfortunate bird that he
has been largely superseded by the goose,
which, IL not bird Of SO much sense, is
oet.er balanced, We may Judge by its
ability To stand steady on one loot. The
duck, though OF the same of the family, Is
not the same bird. Call woman a goose
and she frowns, call her a duck and she
smiles; that's the difference between a
duck and goose.
long while ago a man with very
striking name wrote big book on birds,
which described at great length their
piumage, habits and family connections,
and very unwisely informed them that
II was the food they ate that gave a more
or less gaudiness of color to the feath-
ers, which information they received
attention TO those articles OF diet best
suited TO their individual compilations.
Thls was big blunder on the part of the
birds, for finally the splendor OF their
raiment caught the eve OF fashionable
women who had them murdered without
mercy, and adorned their new spring
bats with them, until il raised such hue
and cry that state senators took up the
matter between drinks and introduced
bills Tor the protection of the feathery
whistlers, but for some unexplained rea-
son they excluded the parrot. There has
always been strong inclination on the
part OF over sentimental people to write
songs and prosy effusions about ''merry,
warbltDg birds, quite suited TO the infan-
tile mind, which is read diligently to
future presidents Of the United States. The
moral sentiment is made very impressive.
and has no doubt the desired effect for
many of our youth become bigh-hyers
and decidedly owlish in their tendencies,
II we may Judge by the sounds OF reyelry
that are often heard stealing out upon the
midnight air. Some bad, wicked men,
engaged In the restaurant line, are said TO
the sparrows, whore they fill an improvised
game bag, and after a careful pluoking
deceive the public by exposing them i'm
the windows as Virginia reed birds This
Is unjust TO the sparrow, but good thing
for the reed bird. As to the epicure-well, !
Many birds have a great deal of COM
mon sense and profit by experince, for
they seem to know the ways OF man and |
avoid him, by stayinQ away |
from towns and cities, where they are !
less likely to fall into his rnerciless hands. |
VI course this excepts the sparrow. which, |
like the subjects of its native land may |
be found everywhere.
People who delight in reading senti- |
mental stories 10 children about the dear
little sparrow are reminded that in some /
cities II IL necessary TO employ "A large /
police force to keep order among them |
and that arrests for disorderly conduct
frequently take place. So don't hold up |
these birds as examples to |
children too much, lcst when
he children grow up, they will find out
hat you have been fooling with their
lender sympathies.
Here is a bit OF poetry which nay be of
use In the nursery ana which may be
made effective by whistling in imitation
)f canary bird where. il Is marked
whistle. - Ladies who cannot whistle
an blow over the end Of trunk kew
With good effect:
There came 10 my window one morning in
dear little robin with a nice song 10 sing.
'nan % ever | heard ON the 1ute on guitar.
ne feathers were shaking upon it's rcd
'or, the dear bird was singing its dead level
best
.sch solo was ended with softest refrain.
Ind new ono was started again and again |
(Nhistio.) S''
sa5lg All its songs In a beautiful way,
hon tackled tho kind that the hand organs
play
! got on quite well. tn "sweet Marie a
tired.
Then 70 busted a lung and foil down and died.
nblsuo.l PROF. iuOCC,