The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1895-01-12

Wv Xxx
viewer of Whom Something Was Known.
Seeing the sign over the door, / enter
ed. az you wish TO confer with TIC
president, SIR" said the Young ran il.
front, "you viii Gnd him in IL; private
Office and thark;n@ him I eatcre. the
rear room, whore a pleasant faced l4an
greeted rle cordially.
"Wou't yea be sa@tct.::' he said,
grasping nc By tho hand. is your
Observation-Disclosures
"Not 1T ALL" l replied. CAS- I WIS
passing Try I thought | woall stop in
and inquire into tho nature and scope
of the Lovers Guarantee company,
which SEQ advertised so extensively"
Certainly" be responded. 81 shall
be only too glad to Inform you what we
are here fer. The Lovers Guarantee
company WIS formed for the purpose Of
securing good husbands to all maidcns
fundamentally inclined, and the great
success we have met with thus far
proves that there is an excellent reason
for our existence. The average man 0f
affairs has littlo time to look up the
character AID a~iltGcedents OF The yonn.
fellow who applies for his daughters
hand. We lock him up, and if he is sat-
lsfactory he gives rs y bond, which en-
titles hin. TO q certificate guaranteeing
him to be I'll tlat he claims. This bond
may DO good fer Ave or ten years. a
mans financial status Is OF course easy
to determine, but it is INFO tho finer at
tributes Of character that we examine
particularly. 0.r certificate is an ALSO
Lutte guarantee Of the man. OF course
we have to be particular, for should tic
wife at any time insist upon q separa-
ton and show cause under the contract
we would have to pay all her legal OK
penses and furnish her Il new husband
or make over to her certain payments.
But suppose" said l, latter the
man is married off, there develops some
hidden trait, some idioayncrasy that
causes unhappiness, bat not separation,
what do you do them"
Such cases" replied the president
Of the Lovers Guarantee company, ''are
rare, but Of course they do occur. In a
case like this we examine into the cause
OF the difficulty, and if the MAJ be
wrong the fact that he is under bond
gives us a power over him, and generally
we bring him to terms"
But" said I, suppose the woman
in the case is wrong?'
"This, explained the president, sis
extremely unfortunate, as we hayo no
means OF reaching her direct, having no
power over her. We can, however, adj
wise the man what to do, generally with
most felicitous results. AS a rule, these
differences come from ignorance on both
sides. Where they are extreme and a
separation is advisable we have in Our
employ the best lawyers, and divorces
are obtained in the most private wav.
I'VE have in u employ one of the
most eminent ~phrenologists il the coun-
try. who examines the hea0s of all ap-
plicants. Our head physician. who gave
up a large practice to come with us, has
q growing staff of assistants, and these
look carefully into the physical condi-
ton OF the applicants. You nav depend
upon it that when an applicant has sue
cessfully run the gantlet we lay nut for
him he will make "a good husband. We
advise all young married people to have
Of their own, no matter how
humble, and have g home bureau through
which a member can obtain advice on
b most desirable way to live, the best
locations, a list of houses and apart
ments Il the lowest rents. By this
means we arc enabled TO make an IL
rangement with landlords SO that U
patrons can obtain certain discounts and
privileges. Were you neutrality-suspicious.,
entering upon the new Iife?:"
Oh, no. l replied modestly. 81 am
already married, and. l added LAUGH
lngly, "ldon't suppose cases Of thi5 sort
under your jurisdiction"
'Indeed they do, replied the presi.
dent of the Lovers Guarantee company.
I'VE have lately formed a department
the benefit of married people and
lind 1t to be q great success. For aslnall
sum yearly, in advance, we furnish Ia
dies with advice as to the proper man
agemcnt Of husbands and direct t.cra /
NV" y eeo III epeGlal eLlerS6ncleS. EOr
instance, should g husband be called I
away too frequently at night 'on bnsi-
ness, imbibe too freoly-I may say this
is one OF our greatest ohstacles-c-
he become i'll natrred or nc2
tractable, we tell her what to do"
us this department sccret?:'
mot at al, " he responded. 'sIndeed
invite publicity. Such is cur rerr-
that the mere fact made known
% q man that his namo is on orr book
Will have tendency to bring him to