The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1895-05-21
4coINs1 DOCTRINE OF HONEY.

School, is evidently disciple of the
Barnum philosophy that the world loves
to be humbugged. That curious hodge
podge of facts that are not so, and theo-
ries that could not be sustained even if
they were so, appeals to just about that
level of intelligence to which the salve
peddler of Barnum's story appealed
with such profitable results. ''If a
dogs tail is cut off," said the peddler,
sand little of this salve is applied to
the stump, a new tail will quickly grow
In place of the old one, and, by applying
enough of it to the severed tail, a new
dog will grow out of that also." The
peddler retired from business in short
time with fortune.
ttCoin'' deals with currency instead of
dogs, and his miraculous salve is the
free, independent and unlimited coinage
Of silver by the United States against
the world in general, and what he is
pleased to call ''the English octopus" in
particular. The virtues of this salve, if
We will only apply it with full faith and
courage, are set forth with wonderful
assurance and 1uency. It will make
the payment of all our debts twice as
easy. At the same time it will double
the price of all that we have to sell to
England, France and the rest of the
xold-using nations. It will make the
United States "the most prosperous ma
ton on the globe,'' and, as for England,
We are assured that it will ''blot her
name out from the nations of the earth'
If she makes any fuss over it. Consider
ing that England is by far the largest
and best customer for the bulk of our
exports, it is not quite clear how we are
to become "the most prosperous nation
On the globe" by sponging England off
the map. Nevertheless, "Coin" is quite
positive that his free-silver salve will
easily accomplish both things, and,
somehow or other, bring wealth to the
pockets of American producers by de-
stroying their markets and running
their customers.
The light and airy assumption that
underlies this whole superstructure of
Stiffness is that if the United States
mints would only coin all the silver that
can be brought to them at ratio of 16
TO i, an unlimited demand' will have
been created for the white metal by
which so cents worth of it will be made
~ good as 81 in gold all around the
world. AS if our government, or any
other government, or all governments
acting in concert, could create an Sun
limited demand" for anything at an ar
bitrary, fixed valuation, by the short
and simple method of stamping it as
worth 80 muchI
There is infinite humor in this idea
that the government can call real value
into existence by the magic of it's mere
mandate. The joke is not new, how
ever. Nations have had fun with it on
MANY historic occasions. Jack Cade an
ticipated "Coin'' on Blackheath Com
mon over five centuries ago, when he
addressed his motley following and said ::
Your captain is brave and vows ref
ormation. There shall be in England
seven half-penny loaves sold for q
penny; the three-hooped pots shall
have ten hoops, and 1 will make it
felony to drink small beer" "God save
your majesty" cried his hearers. 81
thank you, good people," said Cade /;
there shall be no money; all shall eat
and drink on my score ''Coin is sim
ply Jack Cade revised up to date. He
will make sixteen ounces of silver equal
TO thirty-two ounces at Amerlcon minte,
and all the world shall accept it at his
valuation or ''there shall be no money p
and then we shall all ''eat and drink on
his score" Two pecks of wheat shall
be > bushel in Liverpool, or we will keep
and eat our wheat ourselves and let Eng
land howl with hunger. The people
who have loaned us money, whether
fOr. igners or natives, shall accept silver
at ur valuation or get nothing.
There is no difference between euct
incoherent idiocy as this and the famous
financial lunacy of John Law, the crazy
experiment of revolutionary France with
her assignats, or the wild delirinm oi
England in the South sea bubble cpl
sode. The same deIusion that is dane
ing in the brains of 'sCein" and his
financial school for the feeble-minded
danced in the brains of the men who
gave the world those astonishing exhi-
bitions of fiat-money madness. They all
believed, as "Coin" assures his dupes,
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