davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-11-21
SCHOOL AND cHuRch.

The oldest United States college ID
Harvard. founded in 1886.
lit rs said that of the 80, 900 Indians
belonging to the Sioux tribe 1000 be-
long to the Episcopal, Presbyterian
and Congregational churches.
--Tenago Sehyoun, of Benda, Egypt,
is at the Cincinnati law school to study
American and English Jurisprudence.
He Is q graduate of Alexandria law
school. and is the first Egyptia" to
pursue his law studies in the Up.ted
States.
I'm the early days Of Christianity
many styles of dating were in vogue,
and eras were established with the
annunciation, the birth, the transfig-
uration, the ascension and other events
in the history Of Christ as starting
points.
AT q recent religious meeting in
Boston Mr.. Elijah A. Morse said that
although he was Congregationalist
he would advocate the Episcopal Gus.
tom of introducing petition for the
president and public officials in all our
prayers.
Classical scholars all over the
world are at work on "Thesaurus
Lingu@ Latine," under the direction
of the German Pathological associa-
ton. The work will cost $3.50, 900.
The first parts will be issued in 1900,
edited by Professors Bucheler, Leo and
Wolffiin.
1t is common fallacy to state
that the pilgrims introduced into the
Holy Fathers presence kneel down
and kiss his toe. The real facts of the
case are that the pilgrims kiss a cross
embroidered on the toe of one of the
shoes which his holiness wears on this
occasion.
The Bambino di Ara Coeli. Of
Rome, is the Oldest doll in the world,
and, if tradition is true, almost as old
as the Christian religion; for 1t is
claimed to have been carved out of a
tree from the Mount of Olives in the
time of the Apostles, and to have been
painted by st. Luke.
According to an article in the Oc-
tober number of the Century on THE
Marriage Rate of College Women, I
based on carefully-gathered statistics
from all of the women's colleges of the
country, the ultimate probability of q
college woman's marriage is below
fifty-five per cent. against ninety per
cent. for other women-not quite two
thirds as great
"A Congregation in Kansas seems
to have found new way of raising
funds for their church work. They
have agreed to SOW one hundred and
sixty acres of land with wheat, and,
after deducting certain sum for rent,
devote the rest to paying church ex.
penses. The members furnish teams,
plows, laborers and seed, and expect to
be able to provide preaching for every
Sabbath from the proceeds.
The Holy Alliance of 1911 was
formed by the pope, Julius H., with
Spain, Venice and Switzerland against
Louis XII, who had managed to steal
for himself all the benefits of the
League OF Cambria, and had appro-
priated the territory of Venice. The
specific purpose of this league was to
drive the French out of Venice and
take from their control all their pos
sessions in the Italian peninsula. Iu
objects were not carried out on account
of the death of Julius, which occurred
q short time after the formation of the
alliance.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-11-21

o'clock, and, by Jove, can't she dance!
wanted to talk about sylphs and all
the rest, but she was so awfully pretty
/ couldn't think of anything to say.
And, after all, she's ready for the river
before half-past eight the next morn
Ing. Throws himself on the grass
under a tree.) At least she said she
would be; if she turns up in half an
hour 1 shall think her the essence of
punctuality. Orowsily.) Quite right,
too! hate punctual woman, she is
always so deuced superior, understands
Bradshaw and makes you miss all the
trains! Sort of thing that wears fell
low out More drowsily.) But dear
little Lillian, she's-sh-
Voice from Behind-Whoopl
BERTHE (sitting up with start)-
What the dickens .iA.
Lal Coming from the river, dripping
and somewhat notwithstanding!
Bertie-Oh, it's the cub! Well, young
'un, what have you been doing to your
self? tGfl
Lal (finging himself on the ground in
uncomfortable proximity to Bertie)-
I've been punting!
BERTHE drawing away a bit)-Oh!
And you don't quite manage it, Ell?
Lal (indignantly)-Not manage it?
What do you think? Why, I've only
been down once, but the beastly water
splashes so, you know.
BERTHE drawing further off so 1
see! .r.
Lal with frank laugh)-I say! you
should have seen Lii when she began!
Oh, crumbs!
Bertie-But your sister punts beau
tifully, she's the most graceful
Lal-Oh yes, but when she was learn
ing-she used to get up at six, so that
no one should see her, and didn't she
look guy!
BERTHE (indignantly)-Miss Farquhar
could never look anything but
Lal with chuckle) -Of course! only
you just catch her some day with her
fringe all out of curl, and the powder
coming off in streaks, and you'll see if
she can't! a. va b..
BERTHE Qoftily)-Don't you think you
ought to go and dry yourself?
Lal stretching himself nearer Bertie)
I'm all right! I'm not girl! I don't
mind what sees me! Surveys his COM
panion.) I say, you do look beastly
clean!
BERTHE getting further off)-That's
more than you do. What pigs boys
are.
Lal-That's what Lii says! Isuppose
you're waiting for her, aren't you?
BERTHE Gndistinctly),-I-
Lal lin a superior tone)-Of course,
you're going to punt her down past the
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-11-21
FOR YOUNG PEOPLE.
a FELLOWS WOES.

There's very serious matter
That I've pondered long about.
And the more think It over.
The more can't make out.
And wish that all you fellows
Whose sufferings are the same,
Would assist my meditations,
And find out who's to blame.
IT'S this-Whenever mothers
Go to mend n fellows clothes
(And fellows clothes need mending
Pretty often, suppose).
They turn ones trousers upside down
To give the final shakesl
Oh, the tribulation, brothers,
This unlucky action makes!
Oh, my penknife, lost since Christmasi
oh. my marbles. balls and string,
Rusty nails and bits of iron,
Wood and lead-and everythingl
sTrashw they cry, in heartless accents.
AS the contents roll about:
And they briskly brush the dust from
OF the pockets-inside outl
Comrades, number up your losses.
Treasures boarded with such care,
Think upon the risk you're running
When your pants show signs of wear
Then reflect, Is there no method
To escape maternal frown,
Teaching mothers sorrow, caused by
Shaking trousers upside down?
Eva l.. Carson, In Golden Days.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-11-21
it looks2 Iwish mother would give m.

it looks? Iwish mother would give me
q knife like that.
Bertie-Oh you can keep that onel
Go on, what about Miss Lillian?
Lal Tin a transport)-You don't mean
It? You are a bricll Olives him a
prodigious slap on the shoulder, leaving
muddy finger marks on the snowy fam
nels.) Phil never gives me anything
worth having, and he's got lots of tin,
you know.
BERTHE (more impatiently)-Yes, but
he's IA dreadful snob.
Lal-That's what I think, but mother
says that doesn't matter much when a
mans got 10000 year.
BERTHE (horriied) -Oh, but your sis
Lal--Lil doesn't care one way or the
other.
BERTHE with sigh of relief)-Ahl
Lal-She said SO last week when
Aunt Maud and mother lectured her
about it and told her she must get it
all settled up before the end of the sea-
son.
Bertie-Get what settled up?
Lal-Why, Phil, of course-get en-
gagged to him, you know.
BERTHE Tin choked voice)-Does your
sister c-care for him?
Lal Gndignantly)-Lil's not fool,
and she knows one when she sees him.
Bertie-Then she doesn't
Lal (scornfully) Mot any more than
she does for you.
BERTHE (staggered)-
Lal (confdentially)-No, only she's
got to marry some one, you see, and
that's why you've been asked down
here.
Bertie-Why I've been asked down
here?
Lal-Don't you see, stupid? She's
making him jealous. He'll want hes
for himself if he thinks you're going t.,
get her; all fellows are like that
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-11-21

Hayes place, betl (Goes into a fit Of
laughter.)
BERTHE (annoyed)-Isn't there any
body to teach you manners, young 'un ?
Lal-No-but, l say, aren't your
Bertie-Mind your own business.
Lal-.Then, of course, you are! What
set of jugginses you chaps are!' I'll
never be such an ass when L grow up!
Bertie-W'hat do you mean?
Lal-Why, won't go fooling around
another mans sister like you fellows do
around mine, therel
Bertie-Don't talk about things you
don't understand.
Lal Tin lofty tone)-Don't under
stand? Pooh! Amt 1 got any ears?
Bertie-Precious long ears.
Lal-Well-but 1 say-you're not a
bad sort; you were an awful trump
about that cigarette of yours / collarc1
yesterday. Phil would have split, and
you didn't! @
Bertie (at sea)-Phl2 What Phil?
Phil who? b 500 me- aUA
Lal--Phil Hayles, of course
BERTHE (uneasily)-Capt. HAYES?
Lal-Well, who else?
Bertie-You've known him a long
time?
Lal (contemptuonsly)-You bet; and
that's what makes it so awkward.
Bertie-What do you mean? How
awkward?
Lal-About Lii, you know mother
says SO.
BERTHE (interested) But
Lal (sententiously) - Because -
Catches sight of knife BERTHE has
pulled out.) Oh, my! isn't that n
beauty? $50
BERTHE Glands it to him) What does
Mrs. Farquhar say about Capt. Hayles?
Lal (absently, as he examines the
knife) says that it's too much or
not enough, and that Lii must II
say, what's this little blade for?
BERTHE (impatiently)-oh, for any
thing -go OF.
Lal GnsisSing)-But Ii 1t as sharp as
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-11-21
BAD FORTUNE.
An Englishman Cast Upon Lonely Island
and He Died In Squalor.
alliance.

An Englishman Cast Upon Lonely Island
u and He Died In Squalor.
''Some years ago, up at North Haven
island, on the Maine coast, said New
Yorker recently, ~ came across a mys-
terry that haunts me still. A bare,
rocky point juts out into the sea on
one side of the island, and the first
year that / visited the place there was
rude cabin on the rock. Having gone
out there from curiosity one day,
found a man in shameful rags trying
out oil from the refuse from fish-can-
ming factory. When / came to exam
inc the man his appearance astonished
me.
"He was an extremely handsome,
well-made Englishman of forty or
whereabouts His hands, soiled with
the material he worked in, were small
and well shaped. When i tried to
draw him into conversation he at first
answered me in monosyllables, and
was almost sulky in his reserve. He
gradually thawed, however, and /
found that he spoke rare and beauti-
full English--that of well-read and
well-bred man. CHANGING into the door
of his cabin, could see perhaps score
of well-thumbed volumes in library
binding. His reserve was such that
could not ask him about himself, but !
left the island deeply interested in him.
II turned up at North Haven the
next year, and one of the earliest
things did was to go out to the point
in search of my acquaintance. The
rock was bare again and there was no
trace of him and his cottage. / asked
about him of some persons l met on
the island, and here is what learned.
He had come to the place mysteriously
some years before, having been drop
ped by q schooner.
"He found work at the fish cannery,
but later quit the place, built hia
cabin on the rock, supplied himself
with food chiefly by fishing and OBJ
tanned from the factory the privilege
of trying oil from the refuse. From
the product he obtained little ready
money for tobacco and other luxuries.
At some time between my two visits
his cabin was discovered to be on fire
late one night, and, hurrying down,
his neighbors saw him amid the flames
dead, with his throat cut. The fire
had so seized upon the hut that his
body could not be removed until it was
nearly consumed. He was buried and
no solution of the mystery was discov-
cred. Life had evidently become in.
supportable to him and he had taken
the way of suicide as the easiest one
out of misery."--N. Y. Sun.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-11-21
To father,
Parted below.
To mother,
Joined above.
Just Judgments.


Our ideas are our guardian angels.
What passes for purpose is often q
succession of impulses. E
If realism" were real we should have
no time for books and pictures.
Duty is the thin disguise which is
often assumed to hide native meanness.
A truth, posing Gin the altogether"
is sometimes mistaken for an epigram.
a peculiar person is one whose views
on given subject do not coincide with
our own.
Death is the advertisement at the end
of our autobiography, wherein people
discover it's virtues.
We frequently spend our time In
wondering why we are not loved, In
stead Of trying to make ourselves low
able.-Judge.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-11-21
Evidently Cats Cannot Count.

A friend has several cats which have
been taught to make their homes in a
barn. One of the workmen in the es-
adjustment had been for a number
of years in the habit of bringing food
from his house, after every dinner time.
for these cats. A remarkable fact is
that they go from the barn to the en-
trance of the gate property always about
fifteen or twenty minutes before the
workman makes his appearance. just
how they come to learn this exact time
of day is not clear, although it goes to
show that these animals have reason
and judgment to some extent. Strange
to say, although this has been go
ing ON for several years, the cats do
not seem to know that every seventh
day is Sunday, and that the workman
does not make his appearance at the
grounds on that day, yet regularly
every Sunday, for all these many years,
they come to meet him, only to be
doomed to disappointment. 1t would
seem from this that cats have not the
power to count, or they surely would
be able to know by this time that there
is seventh day when they would be
doomed to disappointment in their
daily meal.-Meehan's Monthly.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-11-21

Didn't you see him at the dance last
night? did. 1 was looking after
Dickson and the ices. I saw him.
Bertie-But your sister
Lal-I heard her telling mother after
wards that she expected him to propose
to-day
Bertie-But what about me?
Lal-That's just what mother said.
but Lii says that virtue is it's own re-.
ward, and that you'll be asked to tho
wedding.
BERTHE (indignantly)-Oh!
Lal OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES all
like that, you know. (Bertie has risen
and is going towards the house,. I
say, aren't you going to wait for Lii?
Where are you going?
BERTHE lin the distance) ITO look up
the next train to town.
Lal (anxiously)-Bu I say-(on
second thoughts he sits down again and
pulls out knife.) Oh, it doesn't mat
ter. Lis got what she wants, and,
anyway, this is an awfully jolly knife.
Black and White.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-11-21
Political Secret In Danger.

Boy on the Fence-My paw won't
do thing to you if you don't quit
THROWN stones at our barn! - h.s
Boy in the Next Yard-Your paw
dassen't. He's the agent for the NUM-
cipal Moral Reform club. an my paw
knows how he got the job.-Chicago
Tribune.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-11-21
He Was Absent. Minded.

Prof. c. had to spend the evening
about to leave it was raining very heav-
lily, wherefore the hostess kindly of
fcred him accommodations for the
night, which he readily accepted. Sud-
denly the guest disappeared, nobody
knowing what had become of him. and
the family were about to retire for
the night, when Prof. c. walked in,
as wet as drowned rat. He had been
home to fetch his nightshirt.-
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-11-21
SENTIMENT IN CEMETERIES.
Some Curious Poetic illusions Found
Craven on TombstOnes,


Some Curious Poetic illusions Found
Craven on Tombstones.
Here are some epitaphs brought back
to town by summer tourist. The first
three were found in Clarksville, N. Y.
Henry Gay had three wives-So-
phronia, Emeline and Jane. Sophronia,
died November s, 1880. Her epitaph
reads:
Don't mourn for me; the die is cast.
Our life is like fading rose.
Prepare for death and follow me,
And in your Saviour take repose.
Emeline died November 80, 1882.
Upon her tombstone was this verse:
Submissive to a stern decree
come, Sophronia, after thee;
To rlingle dust and Join thy spirit.
In that blest world that saints inherit.
May Henry and our progeny
Join us in blest eternity.
Jane joined the others on September
II, 1916:
The bonds of earth are severed;
Thou art numbered with the blest;
Where the wicked cease from troubling
And the weary are at rest.
Another epitaph at Plymouth reads
briefly:
..s..s'.....s'...s..s. ............
To father,
Parted below.
To mother,
.HI sH: Joined above. I:
.,....................
Two children have this unfeeling
story cut in marble above them:
Here lies two babes,
~ AS dead as nits,
What shook to death
With ague fits.
This was found in Bladensburg, Md.
IN. Y. Herald.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-11-21

Nautical Point -Kansan = Say.
Bill, it says here that the crew of the
schooner were compelled to rig jury
mast. What's jury -mast?" Missou-
rian-"Why, anybody could tell you
that. It's one of those big masts it
takes twelve men to put up Rox-
bury Gazette. go a
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-11-21
A Streais ofLncI.

Mrs. Portly Pompous-O, Bridget,
you have broken that magnificent Jap
aneSe vase. a, w.
Bridget-Sure, mum, isn't it lucky
that there was nothing in it.-Texas
Siftings.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-11-21
Hard to Understand.

".There's one thing ! don't under
stand, said little Harry. "That's why
good-tasting things like pie make me
sick. and bad-tasting things like med
feline make me well. II ought to be
the other way."--liome and Country.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-11-21
His English Eli.

what makes the rhinoceros so sulky
to-day?" asked the gnu. 49,
"Some one has told him his clothes
did not fit him." explained the spring
box
''Dear! dear! And he is very angry
at that? He is so thin skinned" I'm
dianapolis Journal
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-11-21

Timber is best hardened and pre-
served by withdrawing it's fluid con-
stituents, hardening its albumen and
filling the cells as far as possible With
Nntiseptic preparations !
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-11-21
The Godde.. of the Wheel.

1t is folly to call the bicycle new,
Even mythology recognized it, and
curiously enough, made its divinity a
female. The significance of her mans
has been strangely overlooked Tor ecu
turisA II was Psyche.-Judge.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-11-21
A Kind Husband.

"Wifey, dear, have ust bought you
two bottles of extra old Barolo for
your birthday"
''But you know very well never
drink wine"
"Well, then. I'll drink it myself to
your good Observation-Disclosures rA
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-11-21

dearest girl of ALL" was the way
the letter began. Right there, so to
speaa, he queered himself 'Of ALL"
she said, softly, to herself; then there
are othersr-Indianapo Journal.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-11-21
conundrums Already Answered.

When Is child's hair like a house?
When it is shingled.
When are chime of bells and a po-
tato alike? When they are pealed
(peeled). u
When is your head like window?
When it is one big pain ane).-Youth's
Companion.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-11-21
Tommy Was Very Generous.

Tommy" H
No answer.
"Tom-mee!!"
'Well?"
What are you doing to your brother
Willie?"
"Mothin'."
"Yes you are. You are making MIN
cry"
'.No, / ain't-I'm bein' generous. l'rl
givip' him half o. my codlivex-oil."-t
Harper's Young People.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-11-21

EMILE \yaWu-
1 n g o n tn 9
lawn, In ire
pr o a Q h able
fam ell s } Il
wonder If she's
as tired as / am
this morning :?
TIL e T e s a
physique I o +
you'll Dancing
till past two
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-11-21
SCHOOL-BOY ORACLE.

4 CHARAcrERs: BERTHE stanmore Cc0. Lal
Farquhar QC.
SCENE: The lawn at The Cottage, War
grave. near the landing stage.
TIME: The present: $50 a. m.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1895-02-02
PLAYING TRICKS ON PATIENTS.
Sick People Sometimes Tell WhOp-
pcrs to Their Physicians.


"One meets with many odd freaks of
human nature in my profession said
physician to a writer for The Star. Per
haps the most common is the weakness of
lying to the doctor. When a person goes
to a medical man to be treated, the sensi-
BILE thing is obviously to help him to judge
of the case by giving all details as to pains
and other symptoms with as much accu-
racy as possible. That anybody should try
is applying for advice seems the height of
absurdity. Yet 1 do assure you that it is
done 50 constantly that we have always to
given to that sort of folly than men are.
l have lady on my list of patients who
is truthful enough, L doubt not, in all other
affairs; but she does rot hesitate to mis-
lead me as far she can by false state
ments respecting her own maladieS, though
she is extremely anxious to get well. l
confess that it is a psychological puzzle.
Besides the people who deliberately and
willfully tell lies to the doctor, there are
others who are miSled to astonishing
extent by their own imagination. l will
cite a case in point. Only yesterday i
lady came to see me professionally for the
first time. She told me that her vision was
1 tried her sight by means of card with
printed letters of various sizes. From
across the room she was unable to read
even the biggest of the letters. / put a
pair of glasses in front of her eyes, and
she at once exclaimed:
Merely Imaginary.
"'Oh, doctor! That is wonderful! can
see ever so much better now
I'm fact, she was able to read all of the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1895-02-02

ante found their sole refuge on the bar
rem rock of Monte Carlo. There. thanks
to an exceptional prince. with an excep-
tional stake in European politics. the great
est game in all the world grew up, despite
the virtuous protests of the other nations.
This virtue now is passing into more
softened mood. Why should the Riviera
only profit? Gently and without the slight
est noise the last five years have seen the
opening of public tables in a dozen quiet
resorts in France and Belgium, Dinard,
Vichy, Aix-les-Bains, Trouviile, Dieppe and
Havre compete with Namur, Ostend and
Spa. Now Rome. the latest rumor has it,
Is to sec the setting up of casino under
government permission; and IL Spain
grants Il concession to the rio Tinto Min
ing Company. then Austria and Germany
will have hard work resisting the appeals
Of their own watering places. For the