davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-11-14
MORE OR LESS HUMOROUS.

1t is hard to believe that man Is
telling the truth when yor know you
would lie were you in his place.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
Mamma, where do eggs come Irom?"
Chickens, my dear" We'll, that's
funny. Papa says that chickens come
from eggs" Harper's Round Table,
Patient-What! Three dollars for
pulling tooth? Well, you do earn
money quickly! Dentist-oh, If you
prefer l can do 1t very slowly.-Rox-
bury Gazette,
Doctor-Countess should be 81 I'D II
you would let me hear you cough
Countess don't feel disposed to do so
just now. CTo her maid) Eliza, please
cough as did this morning. Motto per
Ridere.
Hungry Higgins-Don't you believe
that every bloke that kills hisself is In
sane? Weary Watkins-oh, dunno
But did know Teller oncet that shot
hisself because he couldn't git no work.
indianapolis Journal.
Now, Max, what did you learn in
school to-day?" I'LL forget, papa"
"You forget. Why, look at Charley
Hopkins. He remembers everything he
learns at school," "Oh. well, he amt
got so far to go to get home."-Flie"
gende Blaetter.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-11-14
whools a, LIrhtpInr protootorg.

Lightning rods have had their day,
and tube OF dry air is said to be the
best possible protector against the
electric fluid. Thus n cyclist on his
machine may, like Ajax, defy the very
flash of the heavens-the lightning
connot touch him. 1t dislilles tho
twin coils of dry air on which he rolls
through space. A wheel is, therefore,
the safest place, even when indoors,
when the thunders crash and the
forked lightning plays about. At
least, so say fists, and some of
that fraternity have worked out the
odd against rider being struck as
about 80, 900, 900 to one.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-11-14
Agony Easy to Boar.

Husband-Now, darling, be sure to
write to me the moment you arrive at
your sisters, telling mo all about your
journey, and exactly how you felt
after the wearing ride. shall be in
agony of suspense until hear that
you arrived safely and in good health.
Wife-0h, l won't waite to write
I'll send you nice long telegram.
Observation-Disclosures is very thought
full, my angel; but-er-these telegraph
companies are very unreliable. Put
your telegram in an envelope and mail
it to me, and then I'll be sure to get
it. Here's a two-cent stamp,
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-11-14

COMPLETELY BROKEN DOWN.
ais not the term to use. l have let them
alone, that is ALL"
II cannot never could-comprehend
why, in this respect, you are so differ
ent from other men-insensible to fem
mime charms. But I have no time now
for discussing the subject, as | have
several patients to visit this afternoon.
Good day"
Good afternoon" the lawyer re-
sponded, and was again alone.
When by himself an expression
which it would be difficult to describe
stole over his countenance as he NUT
tered:
"of 'frigid temperament and in
sensible to feminine charms am 1?
Having my reason therefor, other men
you'd be So"
AS the words fell from his lips his
head dropped, the muscles of his face
tEitched convulsively, his hands clutch
ed the arms of the chair in which he
sat. Then, rising and pacing to and
tro, he exclaimed in sad tone:
II am not to blame"
n
On bed in handsomely furnished
apartment lay man, apparently not
far from so years of age, whose stay
upon earth would be brief, at whose
side sat DR.. Ashton.
II am afraid that he viii not get
here in season" the invalid said, in a
acarcely audible tone.
Eyes, he will" reioined the doctor,
sncouragingly. II am expecting him
every moment"
Almost simultaneously with the ut
aerance of these words Lawyer Seward
was conducted into the room.
Here he is" observed the physician,
and then, turning to the lawyer, he con-
tinued: "My patient, Mr.. Walter
Burns, wished me to send for some one
10 draw up his will, and summoned
Jou here"
Seating himself near the bed, Mr..
Seward quietly remarked
lam at your disposal, Mr.. Burns"
I'm the left-hand corner Of that writ
ing DESK" the invalid began, pointing
10 the article, you will find pens, ink
aud paper, as you also will an inventory
OF my unincumbered property. Before
you draw up the will have story to
tell you"
Exhausted by the effort required to
say this much, he paused and the doc
A0r administered stimulant. Soon
after he resumed:
Nearly thirty years ago I embez-
8led $4,000 from a firm whose book
Keeper I was and went to seek my for
tune in the mines of Colorado, whittier
7 was never traced.
Ten years later, we'll supplied with
money, came here, where I located I'M
der the assumed name of Walter Burls,
my real name being James Stanley, ard
have rapidly increased my worldly pos
SESSIONS.
Immediately upon my arrival here
! sent note to my half-sister to come
10 me at orce cad she did, without in
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-11-14
The waybaois Code.

Mrs Wayback--La, cakes, et / ain't
forgitful. After all that trouble iin-
ishing that new dress before them
folks come, and all that time / wasted
gittin' it on l forgot the most i'm.
portant thing of all.
paughter-What was that?
Mrs WaybaclS-I forgot TO say: "Ex-
cuse my appearance, cause 1 amt
dressed for companv.n
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-11-14
Fast in a Sewer Pipe.

AICnIsoS, Kan Nov. G.-The Swear
old daughter OF W L. Guthrie, the at
torncy, in some luanner slipped down
into a ten inch sewer pipe yesterday,
gong down ten or twelve icct The
chlld's cries attracted pedestrian,
but it was found impossible to rescue
the child, and ten foot hole had to
be dug, portion Of stone wall torn
down and the pipe broken in order TO
get it out Of its unusual position. The
child was not injured, but badly
frightened.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-11-14
Freight Wreck at Manhattan, Kan.

MANHATTAN Kan, Nov. 5.-The
northbouud freight ON the Blue Valley
railroad was wrecked here this norm
ing between 1880 and s o'clock. The
main pin that connected the parallel
rod with the driver on the right side
Of locomotive No. l025 broke while
crossing a bridge, and for about a
quarter Of n mile the track was torn
up, derailing the engine, tender and a
number of loaded box cars.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-11-14
A Touch OF Nature.

Mr. Meek, on the street carl find
that have no money to pay my fare
this morning, ] have had my pocket
picked.
Conductor, bluntly-That old story
WONT go here. Pay or get Off
Mr. Meelk-It wasn't picspoclSet.
My wife went through my clothes be-
fore l got up
Conductor, alphabetically = All
right. Pay next time.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-11-14

w. p. Montgomery, wcll-known law
yer of Hays City, is dead from old age.
The Little Arkansas is being stocked
with fish near Halstead by the State
fish commissioner.
Charley Kellogg, crack football
player of Emporia, is laid up with
broken collar bone
James Jeniinsou, an old pioneer of
Kansas, cut his throat with fatal eff
feet at Osawatomie.
Sumner county had l9,373.66 in the
First National bank Of Wellington,
which recently failed.
The second crop of Maiden Blush
apples has just mature1 in the Crow
don orchard near .Lecompton.
Governor Morrll's MAI is loaded
with applications for Judge NJ. B.
Nicholson's job at the hutchinson re-
formatory.
For some uuaccountable reason,
number of Scdgwick county farmers
have lost cattle that were allowed to
eat corn stalks.
There are seven cities in Kansas
having population over 10000, sew
enteen over 5000, fifty over 1000 and
ninety-five over 1000.
j. W. Parker of Atchison shipped
twenty-eight barrels of apples to the
Emperor of Germany, besides two car
loads on special order.
E. T. Carr of Leavenworth, was
elected Lieutenant Grand Commander
at the Supreme Council of Scottish
Rite Masons at Washington.
Clay Center is to furnish the new
band for the Third regiment that is to
take the place of the Minneapolis or
ganization, recently mustered out
Colby has the diphtheria and the
schools have been closed. October 20
Professor McDougal died of it and the
day following his little daughter died.
Ex-Governor Click has Just com.
pleted new barn at his farm. at an
expense of nearly IS, 900 Probably it
is the best finished structure of the
kind in Kansas
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-11-14

A discharged Turkish soldier boast
ing Of the outrages he had committed
in Armenia recently in a cafe in AL
exandria was invited to step out by
two Armenians present and was neat
ly strangled by them,
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-11-14
Milking Sure.

Housekceper-The potatoes to-day
were so salty we could not touch them.
New Girl - Well mum it was this
way After they got to cooking /
couldn't remember whether they was
sailed or not, SO l put in a double
quantity to make sure.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-11-14

GOurteous, generous to fault ne "ae
Aeld in the highest esteem by an wno
formed his acquaintance, put he 10
ISOLATED only with those OF his own
sex, as had been his custom from boy,
hood, on which account he was deeiheu
-Odd," particularly by the CENTER sex
AS he sat alone in his once Que
August afternoon, pondering over an
important case which he had IN manu- .no,
gentleman of about his own age NAoJ
entered his presence, dropped ihtC
chair, wiped the perspiration from MS
brow and remarked
1T is a deuced hot day, Tom
No other person in the city wouiu
ghus Familiarity have addressed him. puI
the caller-Frank Ashton by name,
physician by profession-had been MS
ehum and bosom friend in college.
~ have been very comfortable" was
the reply. you know a lawyer must
Keep cool under all circumstances, ne
added, with a smile.
AS one can who has your 'frigld
temperament, to quote what ! heard
lady say Of you the other evening
$50 she placed 'frlgld tempera-
ment to my credit" and again ne
smiled.
why don't you get married"
What do want to burden myself
with n wife for?"
"A wife is not burden, but bless
ing, If wisely chosen"
There is just where the rub comes
in--in making a vice choice. Most
women are influenced to marry by sell
FISH motives, and many Of them prove
Rnfaithful."
Ever since formed your acqualnt-
ance you have manifested an aversion
E0r ladies and"
Aversion" the lawyer interrupted,
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-11-14
Doing No Harm.

Mrs, Mulcahy-Dosent't 1t not worry
yez TO know y'r son is in tn liquor
business leadin men ter drink, Mrs.
Mulhooly?
Mrs Mulhooly-0h, no. The men
he sells to does not made any ladin'.
Thay're all politicians. III.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-11-14

A dentist Of Liege, Belgium, while
extracting tooth for a patient, had
his hand slightly scratched by the
tooth. inflammation followed, which
in time spread to the shoulder, and
the arm had to be amputated.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-11-14

ATCmsoN, Kan, Nov "A fire in
the rear of Porter &c Swans dry goods
store at SO Commercial street at 2
o'clock this morning bid fair for n
while to wipe out one of the most val
uable blocks in the city. Prompt ac-
ton on the part Of the fire department
eNtinguishcd the fire, but the stock Of
goods was almost totally destroyed by
fire, smoke and water. The stock was
insured for S2O,0
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-11-14
What She Gave Up.

Husband-I have made all sorts of
sacrifice for you. Now what did you
ever give up for me?
What did l ever give up for you!
Well, neverl Why, gave up half a
dozen Of the incest young men in
town ....,~
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-11-14

The largest steam shoveler in the
world is at work in the phosphate beds
of st. John island, near Charleston, s.
G. 1t weighs fifty-six tons.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-11-14
Killed by a Live wire.

ATCuIsoN, Kan, Nov, b,-Gcorge
Claypool, liheman Of the Electric
company, was found dead in the street
near trolley pole at z o'clock last
evening, 1t is supposed that he came
in contact with live wire in some
way. He leaves family.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-11-14

An ordinary elephant produces 100
pounds of ivory. Two exhibition tusks
in London weigh l62 and iG3 pounds,
respectively.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-11-14

There are COOS pieces in the modern
locomotive.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-11-14
Two nnllcts In nlslon.s noad.

TOPEKA, Kan, Nov. G.-Thc body of
Edward lllston, who was slain by Abe
Coulter, was taken up to-day and eX-
amined by experts. Two bullets were
found in the head. Coulter claimed
that he had shot lllston only once.
The discovery lessons his chances of
escaping the pcnltcntiary on the plea
of accidental shooting
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-11-14
"A GRIEVOJJS MISTAKE

AVING graduated
from college and
completed a course
Of legal study
T h m as Coward
established himself
in one of our most
lourlshing cities,
where he soon Sc
cured a large ellen
tage.
Fine looking,
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-11-14
STATE NEWS.


Mdlvhne Gets INC lOptlfn CApltnl'
TorgNA, Kan, Nov, The an.
nounccment was made this afternoon
that John 4 Mulyanc had purchased
e {. Bakers $4,000 mortgage against
tic Topeka Capital and had also
purchased Mrs p, b. Plumbs 10000
mortgage against the paper. This
places the paper in Mr.. Mulvanes
hands as he holds the only other
mortgage Of any considerable amount
against tho paper
This is generally held to mean that
Major hudson will soon be retired
flom the editorShip, hut the future OF
tho paper is Still problcmatical'
The paper willtontinuc Republican,
but the opinion prevails that il will
be for }. Il Burton for United States
Senator, The Mulvanes have been
for Burton all along.
Dave MuIyanc is nephew Of John
r., and was liurtons manager in the
campaign last winter AS John 4.
Mnlvanc putup money enough to save
the Capital from wreck and ruin by
uniricndly creditors, IT. is natural that
he should have something TO say
about It's policy "With the Capital
at Burton's back" said prominent
Republican politician last night, "thc
other Senatorial candidates will have
to hustle"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-11-14

Examination and Advice as to Patentabiity Of In
vention. Send for "lnventors Guide, How to Oct
Patent, PATRICK o'FARltELL, Washington ID. y.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-11-14
Two Lives Wanted.

TOPEKA, Kan. Nov, s. About 500
citizens Of Edwards county have asked
Governor Morrill, to order that the
sentence OF death be executed upon
Carl Arnold and William Harvey. who
were on November 10. 1891, convicted
of the murder in cold blood of John Il.
Marsh. mayor OF the city Of Kinslcy.
The petition was presented Saturday
by Judge S. w. Vandcvcrt of the Ed
wards county district court, and Ed
T. B'dwell. brolher-in-law Of the
murdered man. The Governor took
the case under adviscmcnL, and prom
iscd to render a decision IN the near
future.
This is the first petition Of the kind
ever presented to q Kansas Governor.
Under the Kansas law the death pcn-
atty cannot be enforced unless the
chief executive signs the warrant. No
Governor has ever seen TT to order the
death of murdcreraud no legislature
has ever seen tit TO change the law.
AS a consequence there are now about
forty people in the pculLcntiary under
sentence Of death. Arnold and Ilar-
vcy Of Edwards county arc among the
number.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1895-10-27
CnRlSTCHURCa WORK
History q the BraHs Struggles Of This
House Of Worship.
relebration of the Fifth Year Of
Rev. Preston Nash's Pastorate--
semethins OF the Lsbors Of Other
Ministers I'm This Congregation.

Rev. Preston Nash VIII on next Sun
day celebrate the nth anniversary OF
his pastoratc of Christ church. There
win DO special services at II A. NJ. and
s:s0 p. NJ. at the church. and at the
Chapel OF the Redeemer at night. Al II
"A. NJ. the rector will give resume of
the church history. At $50 p. NJ. Mr..
&. NJ. Mckee. the new secretary OF the
Young Mems Christian Association.
and Mr.. =. a. Arthur will ad-
Dress a mass-meeting OF the Sunday
schools. and Captain Frank Cunningham
will assist the choir. At night Christ
church choir and congregation will unite
with the chapel congregation.
On Tuesday evening. November 9Th. the
ladies Of the congregation VIII tender
the rector q reception in the lecture-room
from 8 to 10 p. NJ, when an interesting
programme will he rehearsed.
In 1872 Or. Rice. Presbyterian MN
lister OF distinction. came 10 Richmond.
and preached with such eloquence that
large crowds were attracted 10 near
him His admirers erected for MIN
church building in the then fashionabie
part OF Richmond-on Grace street pe'
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1895-10-27
A Charnde.

ny FIRST In the far-away past
Was the site OF Pagan see.
Though strange, as the sea was out OF
sight.
The fact may seem TO be,
And from It's great High Priest
The men of Ephraims race,
With all their pride In Jacobs blood
A farther lineage trace.
A group of three preceded me
In getting on the train.
A little lady in advance
or an attendant twain.
He looked as meek as Moses.
And their every act betrayed
The uncle OF an angel
With his SECOND and her maid.
Let the dead past bury Its dead,
And cease from your repining
Der chances lost and pleasures ned.
The sun may yet be shining
tn blaze a way In which you may
A future stiii achieve.
And pressing WHOLE with steadfast soul
A wasted life retrieve. Y. II. D.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1895-10-27

too, putting in for their ticket some Of
the best and most effectua work In the
history Of the party here. Rogers. the
Republican candidate for the House. Is
not only making q close, house-to-house
canvass. but Is making a series OF
speeches at nearly all the stores and
public places I'm the county. The silence
and apparent reticence on the part of
the Democrats Is a disappointment to
the masses. since they opened the CAM
paign under such favorable and promis-
ing auspices weeks ago. The truth
Is, the bright prospects at the inception
OF the campaign, and overcon1dence
since simply resulted In apathy. The
Republicans have gained strength here
since Tuesday of this week. Verbum sat
sapienti.
RAILROAD TIES.
An increased demand for. and slight
advance in the price Of. railroad ties have
greatly revived the business in that
commodity" along the Potomac and
Rappahannock this month, and the
sound of broad-axe and the saw is
abroad in the land" as Of yore. This
temporary revival in the tie business Is
hailed with great Joy by large class
Of laborers in the county.
The several butchers here have done
thriving business in their line since the
lst Of September. Beef has been In
brisk demand all the fall. and mas
commanded extraordinary prices from the
first OF the season, This has ere
ated an unusually good local market
for cattle, and our farmers have. con-
sequently. disposed of their live STOCK
at very satisfactory figures.
A large number OF horses will be put
on the market by King George farmers
about the first OF November The pas
lures dried up the latter part of August,
SO that stock had to be taken up and
fed. as In winter; hence. the supply OF
proyerder will be nearly exhausted be-
fore midwinter. thus forcing many farm
ers to reduce their stock as early as pos
sible.
New corn shipped from this section the
early part Of this week nets from 70 to
% cents per bushel. after paying
freight. etc. The low prices and failure
In the corn crop the present season have
greatly embarrassed the farmers and
those dependent upon them.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1895-10-27

and Mr. John L. Williams. The we'll
known banker of this city. new consre.
cation was gathered In Cnr'st
church. and a Rev. Mr.. Carmichaei
was chosen rs Its rector. ns
left after one year, and was sueceedsaa
by Rev. Mr.. Webb. Once more tne VI.
church was busy with active rens'ous
life. and the way seemed open ios ,,,,s
long and useful career. Unhappiy, WHY
affalrs were prospecting. there came
calamity, which almost put an Gnu "
the church organization.
BURNING OF THE PINEAPPLE.
Tn April 1856. Pineapple church was
dest,oved nv fire. The congregation
was once more scattered. and now, WITH
OF. n fold in which 10 shelter 'nes
were go much demoralizcd py theii Us,
that they made no effort 10 nepunu
Two years after the fire hev. n'ehai'
Wilmer. now Bishop of Alabama. COM
.ssanani 20 rreach IN an old iecture-room
81 The church. which had escaped 'he
aepoes re attracted crowds 10 near
him until Isl when the war put an emo
10 the work and dispersed the cohsresa'
ton OF workers. . ,,-o . .ard
Nine years passed, and In 1870 a band
NJ Jealous young men. among whom were
DALLAS Tucker. w. g. Bentley, IhoHas
Poindexter. &. e bausn'h,,", r.
rs.ee DIR. John n. Cpshur. ana pr.
Ch,,stonber Tompkins. determined that
once more Christ church should rise from
the ashes. and begin new career OF
usefulness. The Sunday school was re-.
orranlzed in the old lecture-room. ana
Sor two years a flourishing work was
carried on. They then sold the old LOT
and bought the corner property on wash
ington and buchanan streets. where tney
erected Il neat gothic church ana caieu
Doilas tucker. just ordered deacon. to
be the rector.
Mfr Tucker remained four years with
tbe church. and was succeeded by Rev.
Mr.. Sans. who only served few months
Rev. Robert S. Barrett. who to-day closes
a most interesting mission at Monumental
church, succeeded Mr.. Sans, and re-
NAMED rector for nearly four years, 90.
ing most effective work. He was beloved
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1895-10-27
Ladies' ClOaks.

Tremendous values. enormous s'oeA'
irreDroachable styles.
Ladies' Stylish Beaver Coat. box styie'
s.; golf style.
Ladies' Short Refer Coats, In cater,
pjllar. Cheviots, Diagonals, Boucies, anu
Plain Cheyiots. with cloth and yelVet COZ
lars, price 50; special, at So-C IlPp'e
backs. Melton sleeves, and goir iroh..
Ladies' Chinchilla Goats, very stylsn
satin, price. 80. at 80.
Ladies' Real Astrakhsn Double-Breas
ed Coats. in Blue and 1eck. hali hn go
with silk. large peaa sntona price w.
special, at @.
Ladies' Plain Beaver Refer Coat,
striped with tailor seams, front ana PACK
lined throughout with satin; price 49,
now sl2; in Blue and Black.
Ladies' Diagonal Coats, In Blue ana
Black. tailor-made, lined with eatih'
price 81; now $3.50.
Ladies' Beaver Capes, in Jet, Blue, ana
Black, $50.
Ladies' Beaver Capes. 50.
Boys $50 Suits for 81.
Boys 81 Suits for $l.35.
Boys $3.50 Suits for $50.
BOYS $50 Suits for s.
Boys Knee Pants. SOC.
Boys Knee Pants, o5c.
Boys Corduroy Pants, zoe.
Boys Blue and Brown Chinchilla Reer-
ers &, o.