The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-07-11
A PITIFUL CASE.
Sad Fate of a ~urnali Who Was
Employed by the Evening News.

A few weeks ago Mr.. ". Emerson Jones.
a journalist from the East, arrived at In
dianapolis In search of a job. He did not
speak OF his mission in this coarse Western
way; he said he was looking about for an
agreeable newspaper connection, but his
recklessness in connecting with the first Job
that offered proved his desperate need. 1t
may also be explained that his name was
not Jones, but on account of distant friends
who have not yet learned of his unhappy
fate this appellation must serve.
Mr.. Jones brought letters of recommen-
dation from the New York Post and Times.
Philadelphia Ledger and other journalistic
what-is-its. and, as a matter of course,
drifted straight into the Office of the In
dianapolis News. Contrary to his expert
ence in applying for situations, and much
to his surprise, he was received by the edi-
tor not with chilly indifference but with a
manner Of almost joyous welcome. Mr..
Jones had heard that a singular series of
maladies had affected the News staff; one
member had developed a malignant car
buncle. another had been nervously pros
while others were slowly wasting away
from some cause unknown to outsiders. Still,
with all this knowledge, and the consequent
hope that a vacancy might exist, the appli-
cant was not prepared for an ELUSIVE re-
ception. The editor assured him at once
that he could give a position to a compe-
tent man, but that In order to prove his
qualifications 1t would be necessary to put
him through the civil-service examination
established as a test for all would-be en-
ployes of the News. Mr.. Jones was, there
upon. catechized and gave satisfactory evil
dence that he had no conviction worth
mentioning on any public question, that he
current topics which he could not instantly
change for commercial or other reasons; he
showed that he could be tireless in ma
zens who had ventured to disregard his ad-
vice or instructions and had no newspaper
through which to fight back; he proved his
times in every sentence in a column, to
"opine" and say lament" as often as neces-
sary, and to scold like a fishwife. He coulo
also write a column at any time on any
given subject which would read as well
backward as forward, and mean nothing
either way; he particularly reveled in art
but above all he excelled In the turgid and
toploftical style of writing favored by the
News, while his editorial air of assuming
to know more than ali creation was unsur-
passed.
The editor was much pleased with the
test. and assured Mr.. Jones that he had
writer. AS he was TO be assigned to a
special service. however. certain other
things were necessary. He must be pos
endurance, he must nave ingenuity, fer
tility of resource, skill in saying the same
In an endless variety of forms, and
he must be tirelessly persistent.
Mr.. Jones was an athlete-he had once
thought of entering the ring agains. Cor
bett-and during the last campaign he had
written a free-trade editorial every day
for thirty days without loss of intellectual
or bodily vigo-. This showing was suffi-
cient.
.'Come in here, Mr. JONES' said the edi-
tor, land I viii outline your work"
AS Mr.. Jones passed into the private
office he fancied that he detected an ex-
preston Of compassion in the wan and
weary faces of members of the staff as
they looked up from their desks. He went
in and closed the door, but presently TO
those in the outer room came the sound OF
a dull thud. They looked at each other
without surprise before rushing in TO find
Mr.. Jones lying unconscious on the floor.
He had been given his assignment. II was
TO boom the battleship fund"
He recovered after restoratives con-
veniently at hand had been applied. and an
nounced his determination Of undertaking
the task. He felt sure ne would be equal to
it, he said. although the suggestion, COM
ing suddenly as IL had. had been d great
shock.
Three weeks later Mr.. Jones was taken
to the insane Hospital a mental and physi-
cal wreck. His once powerful physique had
wasted until he was scarcely recognizable:
his eyes. which had cleaned with the mug
CLASSY. There he is now. He is not violent;
he only hangs his head on his breast and
gibbers OF booms. battleships, children,
pennies. old soldiers. duty to give-duty-
boom-shipEboom. He Is not violent. but
there is no hope. 1t is pitiful.