The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1895-09-05
CLASS IN JOURNALISM,
How the College Moulds the Plastic
Mind of the Journalist.

tRecitation room of college. which In.
cludes instruction in the bright, brainy and
breezy" journalism Of the present day. Enter
professor and Glass;
Professor-Mr. wagear arc you prepared
with your suicides
Wagear-Yes, sir.
Professor-Please outline IT,
Wagear (reads) = Thirty.eight caliber re.
volver clinched tightly in his right hand. No
cause assigned for the rash act
Professionalism do you refer TO the suicide
himself?
Wagear-As "the unfortunate man."
| Professor-Correct In the second day q
notice you should say that Among the neigh
bors rumors are rife of a love affair"
Wagear-Should | not also say that ssre-
| mains Will be inferred in their last resting
place tomorrow 4"
Professor-Certainly. Mr.. Frenzyeye have
you corrected your murder in accordance
with my Instructions
Frenzyeye-Yes professor.
Professor-Giye us the ending OF H.
Frenzyeye-The deceased appeared to have
met his end by blow from a blunt instru-
mont. Foul play is suspected. The police are
reticent, but they are believed to be possessed
of important clew.s Bad blood is believed to
have existed between the dead man and his
twin brother.
Profcssor-Yery good. Tomorrow you NAV
diagram the mans henhouse. Mr.. Young
fellow, what is fad
Youngfellow-A fad is anything which hap.
pens more than twice.
Professor Would a series OF sandbaggings
be a fad?
Youngfellow-No. sir. They would consti-
tuto carnival OF crime unprecedented in
the history Of the police department"
Professor Mr.. Dickybird. how would you
speak of heavy snowstormg
Dickybird- AS a "veritable blizzard" sir.
Professor-Give the opening for the account
of collision in which no lives are lost.
Dickybrd-Yesterday serious accident
was narrowly averted at
Professor-very well-that will be suffi-
cient. Mr.. Callowlad, how do Won begin a
sentence containing nothing out of the Or
dinaryf
Callowlad-with the words oddly enough"
Professor-Give the keynote of the report
OF burglary.
Callowlad-Shots wero fred after the re-
treating tniscreants.
. Profossor-Is other journalistic use made
OF shots?
Callowlad-In2 a shooting affair the man
fired at either "returns the shots" or "seeks
safety in flight" shcts also ring out" and
"startle the inmates OF the building"
Profossor-How does a runaway horse pro.
ceed2
Callowlad-He "dashes wildly"
Professor-A cable car over which control
has been lost also dashcs wildly down a hill.
suppose2
Canowlad-No. sir. IL "rushes down tho
steey incline with terrible velocity"
Professor-verv good. Mr.. Gocart. you
may tell the class how the bright. brainy and
breezy journalist refers TO people.
Gocart-"Paintcr Smith" "Ash Collector
Jones'" "Cab Driver Robinson" "stono.
mason Brown, "lnsuranco Broker Thomp-
son."
Profcssor-Under what circumstances are
all women bcautiful2
Gocart--ln court and by telegram.
Profossor-How IL woman married. and
how does man present his idea 20 tho |
publici
Gocart-T The woman Is married "quictIy.' |
and the man prepares statement"
Profcssor-That will do Mr.
Gocart--you told mo 10 look up the condi. |
ton OF farmers after n rain.
Profossor-Truc. ! beg your pardon. How
do you find them
Gocart-"Jubilant"
Professor Certainly. Mr. Readviaw. sr,
you prepared with your political outlinef
Readyiaw-Ycs. professor.