The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1895-04-19

! something OF his supernatural powei
in all my senses" May she not become
still more imbued, and if she Inger toe
long may she not represent the princess
I, dust storms have been so frequent the
past. month:
''Satan's Roof Garden, Dec. %, 1894.
/ ITO the Editor.
The papers tell of the wheat dying in
Kansas. The prayer is for rain Water
water, water, Moisture Of some kind
| to save from this condition. Yet the
drouth, which has lasted for months
still continues in the greater part o!
the state. / know of a natural curios-
| ity of which the public Is ignorant. II
Is Satan'S Roof Garden. Kansas Is
! Satan's Roof Garden. That is the
natural reason for it being SO dry.
The features CT the garden are varied
and interesting. Sudden sand and dust
storms are common. They are caused
/ by a New Yorker dropping in unsx-
pectedly on Satan, when the fire in the
most desirable spare chamber is some
what low, and his majesty is obliged
/ 10 use his monStrouS bellows as an eX-
| pedienl to make things more CHEEKY and
comfortable for his distinguished visitor
in the least time.
The action OF the bellows causes the
dust to rise from the ground for miles
twenty or thirty feet in the air. The
| wind carries it on and on. Then the
kansan says: I'VE are having another
| dust storm" II he is driving he gives
rein TO his team as he can rot see 20
guide them. For the next twenty-four
hours, perhaps, we live on real estate.
Xerknodd fears the Lord. and defies
Satan Therefore his Satanic majesty
respects me. and courts me on his own
Roof Garden, and ! roam here at will.
and when l am tired Of the confines OF
the garden (for 1t contains but 81. 100
square nliies) | clear the wire fence,
and take up my abode in the Indian
Territory. For my dear New Yorker.
that is all that divides Kansas from the
Territory. Should you visit the Roof
Garden and wish 10 do the same. | viii
here advise you how to proceed, and
not charge You anything for the advice.
/ begin by rolling my skirts upward I'M
Ill they form a belt, and rest on the
curved contour of my anatomy imme-
diately below the belt line l can then,
with one bound, clear any barbwire
fence, but have roamed here for years
and am in practice. If you are not. /
would advise that you proceed serpent
fashion, and If You weigh anywhere in
the neighborhOod OF 200 pounds that
you prop Up the lower wire with the
first thing that comes handy ere you
begin your serpentine motion. II pos
sible strike the Pond Creek trial, il is a
good one, and proceed.
Among the 100 that abide in the sod
houses, dug-outs, etc, you Will find
that you are a sore tender foot. So
right here l will say TO the New York
editors in general, for they have been
very kind TO me, with the exception OF
one or two, and ] place this little coal
of fire on their heads and include them
also in my invitation, that ct any time
they feel inclined TO visit the roof-gar-
den and adjoining territory they have
but to call me up at Wichita, and &C
quaint me with the fact, and | shall be
only too happy If may have the pleas
ure of showing them the garden, in
structing them in the proper manner
OF the 400. also some general tips in re-
gard to the best conditions under which
TO cultivate the friendly acquaintance
of the beloved red man.
This is the 22d day of December. and
/ am out on the roof-garden writing
this invitation, and Sin, nay little In
dian pony, is grazing near. and Night.
my pet dog, IS lying at my feet.
1T is pleasant and comfortable here
and l feel that all is well beneath me.
over the garden there floats faint
wave as of human voices. l feel that il
must have travelled miles and miles.
for as far as the eye can see in any
direction across the unbroken straight
Ness Of the country not human form
is to be seen. and i realize that as
Coming events cast their shadows be-
fore so coming responses murmur their
almost inaudible sound. j recognize
this as the nurmur of thanks that is
to come from the editors when this in
vitation reaches them, and l bow in ac
acknowledgement. Having dwelt so
III -
my existence L feel that L share some
thing Of his supernatural power in all
my senses and credit il to that.
Il trust you will not require any
mental pepsin to digest my few truths.
Now, for unaduterated facts. /
deeply regret that by some mistake
stamps were not inclosed in one of my
last contributions to n New York edi-
tor Consequently ! caused him To be
guilty of such breach of politeness as
to send n business letter unsealed.
Here it is considered an insult TO send
any letter by mail unsealed unless of
an advertising nature.
Il have never been in New York
City, and do not claim TO be familiar
etc, in that - square miles. but ] al
ways presumed it was proper, very
proper.
Whenever / had business TO trans
act, by mail i'll that most renowned
city IL was with the greatest trepida-
ton that l took up my pen. suspect
ing all the time that 1 might offend the
refined and fasudious with whom had
to deal through my being so unsophisti-
Gated and ignorant of all convention
alities. Again L prefixed initials only
before my name. The editor therefore
placed Mr.. before il, which he had q
right 10 do under the circumstances.
Still l do not wish To stand as mas
culine, even enormously. so take this
to correct my error. Xer-
knoGd is a woman, "a wild woody west
ener, and such a mossback ] cannot
wear my gowns decolette in the back
always drop a French word as ! do
a hot potato. SO If the poor thing did
not fall in line properly il is the fault
OF the droppeT. To the editor in ques-
ton ! will say that as / bought stamps
before and did not have sense enough,
10 inclose them l will not try it again.
Please consign the matter TO the waste
basket, as l have the original on the
bottom OF my brain pan
Il bought my stamps at a postofice
not far from the territory. and mailed
two letters there. Perhaps ] got the
stamps all in one letter. Be that as il
may. | received replies To both letters
On the same day. one unseaIed. the
StAANA '|AAAfAAsAAAsc -NA--'tANaAA-
sirable to me than the matter ! had !
sent to be considered. There Is another
editor u whom ! sent some matter, and (
which in due time appeared in the /
columns Of his paper. i did not ask I
space. Yet have had no returns. am 4
too familiar with the mysteries OF all I
- to expect any returns unless il comes 4
out as II were. But when II 6Oe< come /
'ut in black and white l expect ~ hear I
from IL.
However I am sadly ignorant OF 1
-. u 49, 4