The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1895-03-20
HILo BOOMING
Socisl weather Notes From the Rsiny
Town.

Town.
Hilni'es say that Hilo is booming
hat Honolulu cant see it-that
tn n r'h Puls ~ shifting-that it's
cropping ou' Olaa-that Hilo has
an immense dulg factory 10 the very
heart OF the town-that the sanitary
committee occasionally roost blind
folded and nose-calked on one OF its
sweet. seeming heaps that the
acoustics of the Gilo stables Is as
good as that of a thousand bass
drums-that Wilson's quadrupeds
have too much oats in their hoof.-
that they kick of all nightcaps 10
the wide neighborhvod-that all
lamentable nocturns would cease II
ia, k paved his new stables with bales
Of hay-that the sheriff is a jack-in-
a-boI that will not jump-that
devil we know is better than a Sam
DO we don't know--that CrowalPs
Portuguese Brass Band sprung up
like q mushroom forty nine strong
that the auricular APPENDICES OF
humanity within . radius OF half a
mile from their blow house are
tightly cotton corked - that DR..
Williams deemed it necessary to
quarantine the band on Cocoanut
Island till his sore-eared patients
have fully recovered from the stun
Mug effects OF q muscular embou-
chure-that the government intends
to employ the band for blasting
rocks on the Puma road-that the
Starvation Army is coloring bridges
and telephone posts with artistic
religious eye.openers - that the
pupils Of the Hilo Boarding School
object to being escorted to banjo
concerts when they feel more like rs.
pairing to the Land Of Nod-that
Vanetta brought tidal wave over
the Hilo water works and drowned
them-that the manager OF the Hilo
hotel wears pair of spurs when
waiting on strangers-that the newly
established Sow-bug Dairy is too
lean to swallow the Golden Calf
Dairy--that Lady Pollynose con-
demned the Hilo tinker's teapot
that she and her friends went about
town advertising Joe Cauario's
saloon-that soda swill can be had
at the Red Bull for fifty cents a case
that the Red Bull means to lift up
the Brown Soda Pup for doing his
business in bottles originally intend
cd for beer-that the Red Bull and
Brown Pup will ultimately end in
disaster--that the wakeful lawyer
does an immense business ever since
he was hung-that Richardson's po-
litical friend cut his own throat
that Loebenstein's annexation flag,
owing to dry weather, shrunk into q
moss-grown pole-that the Portu.
guese mill reports p'ogress,-that
the shareholders will soon be crack
ed-that either Wainaku or Waiakea,
il not stone blind, will fall into the
crack-that Ross, the Puma coffee
expert, has an engagement to make
thirteen thousand bean-tight coffee
cribs for the planters in Olaa-that
Ross intends starting a model plan
tation on the sunny tops OF Mauna
Kea-that Greenland labor is al
ready contracted for to do the pick
ing-that a new life insurance is
about to be started on account of
the great number OF butchers in
Hilo-that every butcher would fain
butcher every other butcher--that
Hilo is going to have a newspaper
that its Christian name will be The
Hilo Smokestack-that its motto
will be Puf-that only second.rate
cranks are leaving Hilo--that the
end Of the world is coming to Hilo
that the last judgment will be
passed by the sanctimonious owls OF
Hilo-that Kilauea will be stirred
up for those who try to oppose the
onward march OF Hilo-that okole-
hao and glory are promised to those
who close the saloon Of Hilo.
RUIy RrII0Ws