The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1895-10-16
Clippings from Exchanges.

Why uonJ you marry That glrlT
She is real pearl" "Ah, yes; but 1
don't like the mother of pearl"
I TOOK header off my wheel
And then was forced to say,
Better fifty years of Europe
Than cycle of to-day"
do you boil your drinking water?"
said one Pittsburger to another. "No,"
was the reply, "we grind it and then
fry it,"
VAN Jay" Miss Meeks called me a
fool. Do look like fool?" Milicent
-" No, you do not. l don't think she
judged you BY your looks"
KARL's CLOVER Roof TEA is a sure
cure for headache and nervous dis
eases. Nothing relieves so quickly.
For sale by W. E. Terrill & Co., Mont
pelier, Vt.
JONES" There is one thing worse
than dying" Brown" What is that?n
Jones" Living until all the people
you can borrow from are dead"
SOME joys OF life make me so sad,
When l think OF how miss EN-.
The girls l want to kiss are those
Who don't want me to kiss 'em.
A FACT WORTH KNowING.-Con-
sumption, la grippe, pneumonia, and
all throat and lung diseases are cured
by Shiloh's Cure. For sale by w. E.
Terrill & Co., Montpelier, Vt.
EDITORS WIFE" Who wrote this
beautiful article on How to Manage
a Wife?' Editor" Young CUTLER"
Editors Wife" Why, l didn't know
he was married." Editor-"He isn't"
CALLER" Is your mistress in?"
Maid" Did you see her at the win
dow as you came up the walk?" Caller
-" No" Maid" Well she said if
you hadn't seen her to say that she was
out"
"PUT away the little dresses
That our darlings wore, and let
Us be resigned" the men are signing.
1--WE may have to wear them yet"
ode kind of a man dat inks he
knows it ALL" said Uncle Eben, " GIN
rally seems justified in de low average
he seems ter put on human intelli-
gence."
F1vE.DoLLAR bills and teu-dollar bills
Are things 1 don't often see;
But four.dollar bills and nine-dollar bills
Are presented quite often to me.
A NATURAL BEAUTIFIER. - Karl's
Clover Root Tea purifies the blood and
gives clear and beautiful complexion.
For sale by W. E. Terrill & Co., Mont
pelier, Vt.
GATES" The only time 1 use whis-
key is when | am getting tooth pulled.
My wife will not allow me to touch
it under any other circumstances"
Barnes" Had auy pulled lately?"
Gates" No. Haven't any left"
see her turn the corner,
hear her mannish tread,
I feel an awful presence
That fills my soul with dread.
Great Scott she's drawing nearer,
I'll vanish while I can.
II she's the coming woman,
Then I'm the going man.
A READINESS to apologize for an Of
tense it not worth much unless it is ac-
companied by disposition not to re-
peat the injury. Johnny and Jenny
were quarreling, and Jenny began to
cry. "Oh, WE'LL" said Johnny, 1" don't
cry-Ill take back all the mean things
I've said" eyes, you'll take 'em
back" sobbed the girl, $50 you can
have 'em just ready to use over again"
A MIGHTY glimpse of sunshine,
A glimpse OF waning moon,
And "Oh, my love-"
And q creamcheese dove,
And the sound Of the loud bassoon.
II the mystified reader wonders
What in thunder this rubbish means,
IT'S hash like the trash
For which poets get cash
From most OF the magazines.
"MY dear nephew" wrote Uncle AL
len Sparks, who was spending his vaca.
ton down in the country, " l send to-
day peck of fine, large, juicy peaches,
fresh from the tree. They are the best
l have seen this year, and | hope you
will enjoy them. Your affectoDate
uncle. p. S--The quantity l really
send you is bushel, but there won't
be more than a peck of them when
they reach you. They go by express"