Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-07-12
she WAS CRITICAL.
Hemlock Belt Lady on Her Way to
Susan Ann Pettibone's.


house on a small clearing at the side of the
road, when woman came running out OF
the house toward the road, waving blue,
baggy umbrella, tied with white string.
She carried in her other hand an old fash.
Toned carpetbag of a red and yellow pat.
tern. She waved the umbrella as If were
an approaching train that she was signal
ing against danger ahead stopped at the
signal. Tho woman was sharp featured
and elderly.
"Be We goin ez fur ez the Drop" she
asked.
said was.
"No furder?" she inquired.
That was as far as was going.
Couldn't 70 make it handy to squirt on
a couple O. miled furder to my darter SUI
san Ann Pettibone's2' the woman asked.
I said I was sorry, but couldn't go any
farther than Helms Drop that day.
"That's kind O. tryin," my interroga-
tor said, looking disappointed. "But l
s'pose kin walk them two miled, though
I hadn't orter be asst to at my time O. life.
Well, never mind. Jist cramp your wheel,
sonny, an I'll git in an jog with We ez fur
ez the Drop. Two miled furder, though,
wouldn't be much of squirt fer your boss,
an the two miled back to the Drop wouldn t
hurt him. guess We kin stick this here
carpetbag right in front O. ye, there. Be
keerful on it, though, fer tha's can O.
p'served peaches, an can o. termattuses,
an can O. p'eservcd ounces in that air
bag ez Pm takin to my darter Susan Ann
Pettibone, an If they git broke III hef to
asst ye to pay fer en-. Jist hold my UNI
b'rel while climb inter your wagon, SON
ny.
"There! I guess I'm in, but I amt
sure. never see setch an onhandy wagon
to git interl It's enough to stretch the
hind legs of kangaroo to climb inter it
Hope I didn't git no tar on this bomba-
zine dress O. mine! Seems to me jist ez II
l did! Don't see none, though. Now,
sonny, jist put your legs over that carpet
bag SOS it won't fall outen this onhandy
wagon O yourn. It's onhandy to climb
inter, but seems to me ez If 1t was the
handiest kind of wagon fer a carpetbag
to fall out Of. But don't squeeze down on
the bag fer mebbe ye mowt break some O.
them cans O. deserves that's in it, an I'd
hef to asst ye to pay fer 'em. Now guess
I'm all fixed, sonny, an We kin drive ahead
I'd be obleeged If ye'd kind O. squirt your
boss leetle, too, cause Pm on pins an
needles to git to my darter Susan Ann
Pettibone's an can't hardly wait l better
take that umb'rel, guess Pm afeerd ye
mowt let it fall outen the wagon I've
had that umb'rel more'n 80 year an set a
powerful store by 1t. There. Git up, now,
sonny"
All this hadn't taken up more than Is
seconds of time, but it was long enough
for this remarkable woman to practically
gain possession Of me and my wagon, for
oil tho time she was talking she was act
ing, and when she told me that l might
"git ap" found myself squeezed into one
corner of my buggy seat, with my legs
thrown over the big carpetbag, and the
owner Of the bag and her umbrella occupy.
ing the rest of the establishment. But
Helms Drop was only five miles farther
on, and I "spurted" my horse so that l
might get the agony over as soon as posi-
DlC. W. uuNu SOllC AllOlC UllIl q uItCk
Of mile when my passenger turned her
sharp face suddenly toward me and looked
me over suspiciously. At last she said:
"Lightnin rods9"
She evidently noticed that I was puzzled,
for she supplemented her question with
this one:
II mean be ye peddlin of 'emp''
ooh, mol" replied.
"Suref" she said, eying me obviously.
said was quite sure.
"Well, mebbe 70 amt" she said shak-
ing her head, "but you'm jist the same
size an build of Teller that nosed around
through here last year, putin up lightnin
rods, an his receipts fer the money come
back ez Judgment notes that'd take the
shirt often mans back Jist the same
size an build e'zac'ly, but mebbe ye amt
him. Pm s'pectin to see this boss O.
yourn balk ev'ry minute! II he does, I'll
hef to dillydally, an my darter Susan Ann
Pettibone'll be powerful worried don't
see why folks can't drive HOSES that don't
act jist ez if they was goin to balk sv'ry
minute! Patent hay forksp"
said no. Not patent hayforks.
"Rakes?"
"No" said I.
"Young man," she said, "you don't
want to set here an tell me you're tax col
lectin9'
said I didn't want to do anything Of
the sort, because wasn't tax collecting.
This remarkable woman remained quiet
for few minutes and then turned on me
again.
II dunno whether to congratulate ye OF
not" said she cause 1 amt sure that
you'm the chap from the county seat that
coming over to marry Squire Polhemus'
darter jimmy up to the Drop. Be yer"
said that was not the chap.
"Then kin congratulate ye!'' said thia
remarkable woman. esquire Polhemus'
darter jimmy is the stuckuppest whipper
snapper of gal tina Is in oil this spread,
an the chap from the county seat'll find
out that he hain't sot hisself down in nc
butter tub when he marries that redhead
jimmy Polhemusl So you amt himp Then
kin congratulate vel Now, If your hosa
don't balk we'll be at tina Drop in ten
minutes. But I know he will He acts
just like it, an folks seems to hev balky
bosses fer nothin else but to git me ridin
behint 'em an then maxim me dilly daily
Hev We broke any o. them cans O. p'serves,
think"
hadn't broken any, and the horse did
not balk, and, sure enough, in ten min
utes we were at the Drop.
"That crossroad yender to the right Il
the one that runs by my darter Susan Ann
Pettibone's," said my passenger. ut don't
seem to me ez If it was with while fer me
to git out till git there arter havin had
SO much trouble gittin inter this onhan.
dy wagon O. yourn. Iguess ye better squirt
on to Susan AIMS"
But took a different view Of 1t, and
this remarkable woman and her baggage
got out at the crossroads. When she had
got to the ground, she turned on me and
said:
IF that amt the onhandiest wagon to
git in an out Of that I ever see, then III
ia