The University daily. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 18??-????, 1895-06-13


one Of the sweetest loVe-l letters ever
mortal penned. He called her his
.smost best girlie;n said be s.groan-
edp every time he thought Of her
and q lot Of other sweet things that
Shakespere didn't print III his poetry
book because he didn't want to give
the Young fellow away altogether.
Touching this point, Prof. Pearcy
remarks with considerable feeling
as follows: aHamlet's love letter
was true to life. / have written hum
dreds myself. and know from expe-
rience. = Wherenpon Dr. Knntti
boldly confesses that Hamlet's love
letter was tame compared with the
love letters he had written. ssWhy.''
SAYS he. .snot only do / groan like
Hamlet when write nv Girl d let
ter. but she groans when she reads
IT. and quite likely be Is right.
But 1t was Ophelia's time to get
mad now. When her dad came
home she up and told him all about
+ the scrap. and gave him Hamlet's
| love letter to read. This, = said DR..
Stamford twas the meanest cut of
all h then he goes on to relate some
interesting experiences Of his own
| III the same line III il worthy De
remark that Heightly is strangely
silent On this line.
Then old Polonius, Ophelio,s dad,
had to 90 and show the letter to- the
king and aueene. These three plot
| tea to Waylap Hamlet .at once. AS
PoloniusIsays (Act III, scene 3 aI'il
board him soon. So he hid in the
bushes by the road side, but when
| the old codger jumped out as Ham
let came along, Hamlet coolly whip
ped out pair Of brass knucks and
Ia BIG blunt-bladed billy barlow
which he always carried with him,
sWore little at. Polonius, called him
d 'sfishmonger' and some other pet
names, So that Polonius got scared,
dropped the board out Of his hand
without striking and skipped out.
A few DAYS after this, the whole
| crowd set up lob on Hamlet. They
| were to get him and Ophelia to-
gether { Act III, scene and then
the king and Polonius were to crawl
| under the old family sofa and listen,
So Hamlet called, and they crawled.
But the scheme didn't work.
| The sofa was toe, short. Four big
| black boots sticking out from one
end Of the sofa caught Hamlet's eve,
and he caught on the racket at once.
/ He didn't tell Ophelia, but his Irish
raised, and he went back on her on.
the spot. She offered to give him
hack all the presents he had Civ
en- l1er--a little hem-stieched hand
kerchief, a tin type, and q goose
| Quill toothpick-but he would NOT
have them. He told her that be
] never did love her anyway; that he
thad heard that she painted; and
wound IN by telling her to 90 off
4 to q hennery, or some such place aud
stiay there. Hamlet himself here &C.
knowledged in plain English that he
was mad. and all the most reliable
critics. including DR.. Knutti and
| Prof. Pearcy agree that he had am
PILE cause for doing 30. But Dr..
/ Taught censures Hamlet for not
taking the presents back. adding
| that personally he ALWAYS. found
that it paid, inasmuch as it saved
| money in not having to buy new
presents for his next girl. Where.
| upon Prof. Sanders comes right to
| the point I'm following outHanpht's
plan saws Sanders. Il have often
been able to make the same presents
answer for d dozen or more different
girls And DR. Moss incidentally
remarks here. that after engaging
nine different girls with the same
little engagement ring, he sold it to
Prof Keely at the opening Of the
fall term for quarter, and that
Kelly has already sealed his fourth
vow with the tiny trinket. Butgrant-.
ing that Hamlet did make a mistake
in refusing to take back his presents
il. it not the best Of evidence that be
was mad-yery mad. II
However, Hamlet and his girl soon
made up again, as young people gen