Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-01-03

l NJ ''''S'N w Wv IlSul, anu I'm RO-
ing to do right, socially, CONNER
cially, and religiously, so help me
God. L never tried to pray for but
one politician, and then | couldp' t
pray as high as / can spit. You
hear the Old fellows down my way
say they can't raise cotton for 5
cents pound, and, yet, with Jug
OF old, red liquor, they can go home
and raise hell for nothing. Some of
those old fellows will be in Heaven
for about two days, when you will
hear them going to the angels and
ask when the next primary comes
off. (1aughter.)
HOW TO GET THERE.
Now, let us take a broader view
Of the question and see how to get
there. Did you ever see a royaI,
brave, true man? did once, and |
sat down and listened to him.
grew more and more interested in
what he was saying, and at the same
time grew smaller and smaller,
while he grew larger and larger. |
went away from him and since that
time my prayer to God has been to
make me royal man such as he."
Here the speaker paid high trib-
ute to President Cleveland, pictured
him as great man, and said that
although he was meeting with many
vicisSitudes now he would finally
guide the ship of state into placid
waters, and would receive that
honor to which he is justly entitled.
Continuing, he said: "a true
man? The more l look for them
the scarcer they grow. There are
60,OOO,OOO ladies and gentlemen in
the United States, but mighty few
men and women. a fellow asked
me the other day if didn't believe
that all niggers would steal. No, [
don't believe all white men will
steal.
Mr.. Jones told of negro who OBJ
tanned some calomel from doctor
to administer to sick mule, and re-
ceived instructions to insert it i'm a
quill, place one end of the quill in
the mules mouth, and blow through
the other. The next day he was
sent for by the negro, and upon
reaching his house found him in
bed. Why" said he, 81 thought
1t was the mule that was sick 2"
" so it was, DOCTOR" Well, what's
the matter with you?" ITS all
along of that calomel, SIR" "What,
did you take the calomel?" "No,
sir; you see, l put it in the quill
jest like you said, and put the end in
the mules mouth. put the other
end in my mouth, and -, we'll, well,
sir, de mule he blowed fust. -
Laughter.
This story he applied to the fool,
saying; You can't doctor a fool.
He'll always blow first. | saw" he
continued, ca noble, grand wo-
man, the other day, and looked up
into her noble, intelligent face, and
said: 'Thank God for a noble wo-
manhood You don't see many of
them, though. We have mostly
nowadays these novel-reading girls.
If | was married to one of these
Kind, and l came home and didn't
find her, / wouldn't ask the children
where their mother was I'd simply
say: Where's it?'
HONEST AND LIVE MEN.
Oh, do like to see an honest man,
live man. There are lots of
young lawyers in this city who can't
plead So Police Court case without
indulging in agnosticism lots of
young doctors who can't roll a sim
pie pill without becoming skeptics.
They've never been 500 miles away
from Richmond, yet they know
there is no God. Why, the little
fellows won't be down i'm hell two
minutes before they will jump and
crack their heels and cry out: sOh,
Lord! I've made a mistake.'
About all a fellow needs to give
him life is motive, and about two
motives will give him all the life he
wants. To illustrate: 1 was driv-
ing along the country road one
morning when a big dog jumped
over the fence and attacked my
dog. He knew what to do at the
right moment, and he tucked his tail
and ran, and l tell you he moved.
Nancy Hanks wasn't in it. After
about half mile of this, another
dog, bigger than the other. one,
jumped over the fence, and put out
after both Of the others. Then, if
ever dog did hump himself, that
middle one did. He had two mo-
tives-my dog in front and the big
dog behind. Every Christian is
like that middle dog. He has God
in front of him and the devil be-
hind him."
The speaker then dwelt at some
lpnOth n
though he wasn't fighter he
wouldn't give cent for man that
wouldn't protect his wife's husband,
and a bachelor was even worse.
Mettle, he said, was what man
wanted to he successful, and ne told
several anecdotes to illustrate his
point. a Methodist minister, he
thought, should be the most cOur-
| ageOus man on earth. All they
could do with him was to get con-
ference to move him, and then all
he had to do was to pack up his
blacking-brush, whistle to his dog,
and move on to some other post
(Applause.)
RE PATIENT AT HOME.
Patience was his next point, and
he dwelt at some length on patience
in the home circle. a mother who
had patience would be better
mother, and mother who had still
more patience would be a grand
mother. Fussy wives were alluded
to, and the speaker said that he
knew numbers of men thus afflicted
who could sing with sll sincerity
81 Would Not Live Away"