Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1895-06-13

on the go. Joke after joke. Course,
when he's got the hump he's different
Amiable Youth Sor Their a good
thing in one of the papers the other
| day. Chap meets another chap on a
bus; and he says ''Ullo," he says,
F., what the
laxative girl Gnterrupting)- Buses
| are very cheap nowadays, aren't they !?
/ say they're too cheap. Why, the
money can't pay even for the poor
; 'orses.
Amlable youth (Slightly annoyed at
| interruption)-O, 1 don't know You
can pick up 'orses cheap enough if you
| only know the right plice 20 go.
] Talkatiye girl-Well l had an aunt
once
(BaId sets firmly its silk hats and
| recomn-enceS. Joyful larrikinS in cir
culating crowd dance on peoples toeSl
Scarlet waiStcoat (reSpectfully)-
| Now. then, ma am, must trouble you,
please; you're blocking up-the way
Enthusiastic mamma with much in
| dignation) -Ermyntrude, come away at
| once!
Ermyntrude-Yes mamma
CThey go. Band prepares for last
item-a galOp.)
Stout lady Ito husband)-And 'er jest
at the bank of the Edg'are road. with
nine of 'em, and the youngest a mere
biby. All, and they are bitter and
full, too. She's so different to what she
was 80 years ago. Only a week DOR
two since Sarer declared that the poor
woman didn't cheer up one single bit
the ole of the evening. And they ad
tidy drop to drink, too. SO low
spirited, you know-and, o! isn't that
lovely bit they're playing of now?
| (Rolls head to rhythm of music, and
| humsD I've card that somewhere be
fore, l know.
Husband (crossly)-Well, wat if you
have? You've no call to go 'umming
of it now.
wild galop finishes. Band rises and
plays national anthem.)
Amiable youth Gnterrupting talkative
girD-Which way did you say you was
a-going, miss, may | ask?
Talkative Girl-O, L go this way.
(Waves parasol vaguely
Talkative damSel drawing diagrams
on gravel with end of parasol, and
looking down modestly at her brown
shoes)-Reely, l don't know what to
say-pe0ple do talk so.
Joyful Larrikins-Ere, / say. Let's
ave gime of shown one another
about
If yip1 on tho hnL0
Where's Adler gone to? I've got her
blanky at.
Nah, then, OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES!
Park keeper, in scarlet waistcoat
taking two ears of two boys)-Yes,
III copper you. Clear out d'year?
Move yourself.
They move themselves.
Enthusiastic mamma-Its so very
pleasant to see the masses enjoying
Themselves Ermyntrude. Depend upon
it that the true source of England's
peace and prosperity is to be found
not Are you listening my love?
Ermyntrude dong, straight hair,
long, straight body, long, straight
ShOeS)-Yes, mamma.
Enthusiastic ma mma-I was saying
oh, do be careful my boy!-saying
that if we could only be little more
advanced in our efforts to make the
teeming millions happy with this sort
of thing, listen-Do you mind where
you're coming, young man-to sacred
music, and-I suppose with sudden
fear), / suppose it is sacred music
my love?
Ermyntrude-No, mamma.
Enthusiastic ma NINA (ShOcked)-O,
what painful thing!!!-Look here my
lad, if you run up against me again l
shall have you severely punished.
They showed you? Who showed you?
You're a very naughty little
Amiable youth with cOmmendable
defiance)-Let 'em talk!
Talkative damsel (rising)-I remem-
her so well once that one of my cousins
she was what you may call an attrac
tive girl, tOO-She went to a dance and
-(They go)
Band SmOotheS it's silk hats with
arm-sleeves and departs. Everyone
else goes.)
Social DEM crat (shrieking to NOV
ing crOwd)-Wot l want to awsk you
comrides, tonight is simplee to consider
with me whether you are going to be
trompled on like sEves by the bourjoys
of this sO-called England Of ours, or
whether you'll mike up your minds
once for all to assert yourselves, and
Departing Larrikins Gin tones of
fatherly reproof)-'Old your silly rah.
Social Democrat holds hiss silly row.
Exit all. The Sketch.