The Forrest City times. [volume] (Forrest City, Ark.) 1871-1919, 1895-12-20

BY EUGENE FIELD.

Havin' lived next door to the Hobart
place FIR goin' on 30 years, l calc'late
that / know jest about ez much about
the case ez anybody else now on arth,
eXceptin' perhaps it's oil Jcdge Baker,
and he's so plaguey old nd so powerful
feeble that he don't know nothin'.
1t seems that in the spring NV ~
the year that Cy Watson's Oldest boy
wuz drowned in West river-there come
along a book agent sellin' volyumes
nd tracks Err the diffusion NV knowl-
edge, nd havin' got the recommend
of tie minister md NV the select men,
he done an ALFRED big business in our
part NV the county. His name wuZ
Lemuel Higgins, md he wuz ez likely
I. talker Ell / ever heerd, barrin' Lawyer
Conkey, nd everybody allowed that
when Conkey wuz round he talked so
fast that the town pump nd have to be
CREASED every 20 mir ltes.
One NV the first NV our folks that this
Lemuel Higgins struck wuz Leander
Hobart. Leander had jest married one
NV the Peasley girls, nd had moved
HlO tItB O1ll nOiDcSlCdtl Oll llIt l. lsiil-
vile road-old Deacon Hobart hasin'
give up the place to him, the other boys
havin' moved out west (iil<e a lot o
tlarned fools that they wuz.). Leander
wuz feelin' his oats jest about this
time md nuthin' wuz too good FIR him.
TO lay in a few books FIR readin' in the
winter time, nd I've a half notion to
subscribe fr cyclopeedy. Mr. Higgins
here says they're inyalerable in fam
lily, and that we orter have 'em, Dein'
as how we're likely to have the family
Dime by!"
"Lor's sakes, Leander, how you talk!"
SEE Hattie, blushin' all over, ez brides
alters does to heern tell Nv sich things.
WAL, to make long story short,
Leander bargained with Mr.. Higgins
for set Nv them cyclopeedies, md he
signed his name to long printed paper
that showed how he agreed to take
cyclopeedy oncet in 50 often, which
wuz to be as often ez a new one NV the
Volyumes wuz printed. y cyclopeedy
isn't printed all at oncet, because that
would make it cost too much; conse-
kently the man that gets it up has it
strung along fur apart, so as to hit
folks oncet every year or two, and
gin'rally about harvest time. So Lee
ander kind NV liked the idee, and he
signed the printed paper nd made his
affidavit to it before Judge Warner.
The fust volyume of the cyclopeedy
stood on a shelf in the old seclTerary
in the settin' room about four months
before they had any use FIR it. One
night Squire Turner's son come over
to visit Leander nd Hattie, and they got
to talkin' about apples, nd the sort NV
apples that wuz the best. Leander al
lowed that the Rhode Island greenin'
wuz the best, but Hattie and the Iur-
ner boy stuck up Fl the RoXbury rus
set, until at last a happy idee struck
Leander, and SEE he: Well leave it
TO the cyclopeedy, b'gosh! Which
ever one the cyclopeedy SEE is the best
will settle it'll"
but YOU can't find out nothin' bout
Roxbury russets nor Rhode Island
oreenin's in our cyclopeedy," SEE Hat
tie.
"Why not, I'd like to know?" scz Lee
ander, kind of indignant like.
"'Cause ours haint got down to the
r vet" SEE Hattie. ''All ours tells
about is things beginnin' with A"
"Well, hain't we talkin' about APP
ples?" SEE Leander. You aggervate me
terrible, Hattie, by insistin' on KNOWN
what you don't know nothin' bout"