The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-03-05
The Major Hears Bad News--Trying to
Enlist The Sympathies OfThe Chero-
kee Indians in His Behalf.-Wants
The Standing Army In

kee Indians IN
The Standing Army In
creased.
B.-''Hello! Mr.. Editor"
R.-'Hello Major. Still on the
tramp / guess"
B.-"You bet I am. Things were
lookin' briter fer me ontiI I read a
CharIitt paper the other day. 1t sed
that Mister Hileman and Richard
Razor are both candidates fer the Office
ov governor. OF course Mr.. Carr will
be in the fte. That awl tends ter put
me ina hole. Iaint gwine ter run er-
gainst a whole army ov men. I awlso
hear that Mr. Guthrie il the choice ov
a wide sircle ov folks. Things are
gittin' blue fer me I want the stand
in army increased fer the purpose ov
putin down riots among the kandi-
dates in 1895. I'm goin' ter be a whole
mob myself if they git ter tryin' ter
crowd me off the race track. 1t may
look like sur pressin' ayoung industry,
but want / Their legislator to pass a bill
forbidden more than ten candidates
from enterin' the race fer guverner. l
want nine ov them~ter cum frum the
other parties an one, that il myself,
frum the dymakrat party. I Just
wanter git in ter prove ter Betsy
that we dymakrats amt dead yit. 1
won't draw any salary while 1 am in.
I reckon none ov the other candidates
will serve any cheaper than that. But
if they want ter put the offs up ter the
lowest bidder, I'm their man. I jist
want ter see Betsy waltzin' up an
down the hall ov the governors
mansion dressed In her new kali
ker dress one time. Betsy weighs
erbout $40 and looks like Queen Vic,
of England. Betsy would behave purity
we'll all through the inaugural ball an
receptions, but I'm erfraid she would
wanter bring the chickens erlong an
make hen nests under the imitashun
marble steps ovthe Governors Mansion
the first a spring day. She would
awlso wanter Craze the COWS on the lot
Ground the Mansion. Some folks say
that the next guverner will be a Popu-
list. I tell you that il dangerous. Bet.
t r elect me guverner an Betsy
Lieutenant guverner. That would be
CO operashun between the dymakrats
an Populists."
R.-"What is the outlook in the
West now"
B.-"The weather men had up the
fair weather signal a few days ago
while the legislature wuz foolin' Ground
g,tten inter trouble; but they hev gone
an put up the storm signul ergin. No
chance fer us az long az the Legislature
has any sense. I've bin through Yam.
cey an Madison. I am now in Swain
county monkeyin' with the Cherokee
Inguns. When I cum here l thought
I'd find them campin' out with their
ponies hitched near by. I thought the
Inguns would hev on their war paint
an be loaded down with bows an al.
rows. I didn't eve hear a war,hoOp
nor see any flynn tomahauks. 1 soon
saw that I couldn't persuade the Chief
ter take his men an help me fife my
way ter the guverner's mansion in case
I don't get the nominashun. He said:
"UhI Mr., Bilkins, you amt in it. Guv.
erner must be big Injun, have mus.
fash 2 feet long" I tole him I wuza
big Injun enough without any mus.
fash. He said hiz crowd couldn't help
me fite any, but sed if I got inter a row
they'd send a proxy by Kope Elias. /
tole him Iwuz goin' ter git Kope ter
put erbout 10000 in hiz pocket an go
down ter Raleigh an suppress the
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