Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-12-19
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What is home without mother?
What is life without brother?
What is fortune less you have kissed
her,
And life without some other fellows
sister?
Boston Courier.
He-Were you at the Harlem Opera
House last night? She-Yes; did yon
see me? He-No, but recognized YOUR
voice.-Harlem Life.
Miriam-Don you think my new hat
a poem, Ned? Ned (critically)- From it's
height dear, should instead compare
it to a short Story.-Judge.
"Do you think you can read my
mind"' asked the youth. "Not unless
some one discovers it for me-" was her
answer-Atlanta Constitution.
Visitor-But this portrait Of Mr.. Bull
ger is a good deal more than life size
Artist know it. That is the size he
thinks he is.-Boston Bulletin.
Connoisseur-Yo have painted that
picture in the impresionisr style. see,
Artist-No. You have been leaning
against it.-New York Weekly.
Teacher-Have you learned the Gold1
en- Rule, Tommy? Tonmny- Yes'm. LII
is to do to other people like they woHltY
do to you.-Indianapolis Journal.
Dudley-What are you going TO be
when you are grown up, Bobby? Bob
by-Im going to be a man. What are
you going to be?-Harper's Bazaar.
Friend-When are you going to marry
and settle down? Wilde Oates BY
George, must do it pretty soon in or
der to settle up!- Chicago Tribune.
Hamlet Hardupton medtating1-
Things are all out of place with me.
wish l could only get the shine off my
coat and put it ON my shoes!-Truth.
Old lady-Well, here's ten cents for
We; but l should hate to feel that was
encouragin' We to drink. Tramp don't
| need no encouragement mum.-Judge-
Spirit of the age-Do you desire the
peace Of Europe? Chorus of great pow
ers-That depends on which Of us gets
the biggest piece.-New York Tribune.
Had an accident on my run to-day"
said one gripman to another. "What
was it?' woman said thank you to
a man that gave her seat.-Washing-
ton Star.
Miss Gushington-How did You feel
when you found that the ship would
surely go down i'm ten minutes? Capt.
Salted-I felt for e-preserver-Har-
per's Bazaar.
Mazzig-Blower was just remarking
to me that all he is he owes to his
mother. Gazby-Yes; and understand
that all he has he owes to his father
ROXbury Gazette
First Kid-Anyhow I never had no
granddaddy hung for boss stealin'. Sec
| ond Kid-Don't care if he wuz. Hoses
wuz worth stealth in them days.-Cin-
cinnati Enquirer.
AS he thinks of the supper last evening,
That he bought her just after the play,
He signs with regret, for he cannot for
get
He must dine on a fish ball to-day.
Philadelphia Record.
Hicks-Did you hear Of that case OF
safe blowing last night? Wicks-No;
did they get much of haul? Hicks
Ha, ha. Very natural mistake. 1t was
not burglar, but only prize fighter
twenty miles away from the ring.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
Tn fho aJn fuio iYc,fS 70 n1o m
believe that a man has a right to kick,
| under sufficient provocation? Second
standee-Most certainly. First standee
Il am glad you think as do; but how
in time am / to kick unless you get off
my foot ?-Boston Transcript.
now? New Clerk am puzzled about,
some goods | find in my department
"WellY 81 wish to know whether the
material is intended for mosquito net
ting bridal wells, or boarding house
blankets New York Weekly.
Railroad Official must say you put
rather a high value on that trunk
What's in it? Passenger don't know.
My wife packed it. Oficial-Hum!
Perhaps your estimate is correct. If a
woman did the packing, everything
in the house is in it-New York Weekly.
Begin at the bottom and work up,
my boy" said the old gentleman.
THAT'S the way to succeed in life"
..Yes," replied the young man thought
fully, ..but it doesn't work in the imne-
diate instance why not?'' I'm in
venting new style of toboggan''-
w q shin eton Star