Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-03-15


and the Fierce Bull.
An Episcopalian clergyman, now dead,
used TO relate an experience he once had,
which convulscd his congregation with
laughter and nearly broke up his services
for the day. He was the rector Of IA church
In Connecticut.
One day as the time for the annual visi-
tation Of tho bishop was approaching, and
he was preparing a class for confirmation,
he was sent for 10 visit woman who de-
sired TO talk with him on the subject Of
baptism.
Tho woman, who was very stout
weighing somewhere In the noighborhood
OF 800 pounds, informed him that she had
long been attracted toward the Episcopal
church, but had RETAINED from uniting
with It because sho had strong convictions
In regard 70 baptism and felt that she
ought TO be immersed.
Tho minister told her that, although
the church believed pouring or sprinkling
to be valid baptism, 1t did not prohibit
immersion, though, rs Ii was a somewhat
inconveniont method, 1t was not often
used.
He pointed out tho difficulties in the
way, saying that he had no fount In the
church large enough for such purpose,
and that there was no river or beach in
the vicinity. In reply she suggested that
he obtain permission TO use the Baptist
church, which had large baptistry under
the pulpit platform. This he consented TO
do, though with much misgiving. The
consent Of tho Baptist brethren was read
lily obtained.
Tho next Sunday Episcopal services
were held in tho Baptist church. At tho
proper time In the service the candidate
for baptism went forward, and, with the
minister, went down into the baptistry.
All went well until it came timo for the
immersion. Then tho minister for the first
time realized his incxperience In admins
tering That form Of baptism. When he ut
tempted to immorso tho woman, his foot
slipped, nnd they both went under tho
water together
He hastily scrambled to his feet but, to
his constCrntion and horror, found, when
he attempted 10 raise the woman, that she
could not bo moved. There she lay Ike so
many pounds OF lead nounderng In the
water and screaming for dear life. In vain
he tugged and pulled. She could not be
even started.
Finally several men In tho congregation
went to the assistance OF tho minister, and
by their united efforts succeeded In bring
Ing the frightened women TO her feet. The
men woro wet to tho skin, having been
obliged 10 go into tho baptstry. The
congregation struggled with its pentup
laughter, but finally 1t burst forth In
roar which could not be pressed. The
services were continued with great diff
Guilty, and tho minister drow long breath
of relief when they wcro ended.
Boys In church, as is we'll known, arc
not infrequcntly the cause Of great annoy
nncc to clcrgymen. Some years ago
Methodist minister was delivering a scr
mon with n good deal OF earncstncss when
his attention was attracted to n boy In the
gallery. The youngstcr was leaning over
the rail and apparently lowering some
thing attached TO n cord, which he occa-
sionally pulled up, when he would throw
II over again with moro gusto than ever.
Do what he would the preacher could not
keep his eyes of that boy.
Shifting his position in the pulpit
slightly, no had n better opportunity to
sec what was going on and observed that
an old gentleman in pew under the gal.
lery had fallen asleep and was sitting
with his head back and his mouth wide
cork to string and was endeavoring to
lower 1t into tho old mans mouth. He
came near succeeding several times and
as the cork gently swayed 20 and fro IL &C.
casionally tickled tho slceper's nose. At
such times he would stir little uncasily
and brush 1t away with his hand, to the
evident delight Of the grinning youngster.
Tho whole sccno was so exceedingly COM
tDn hot kn INT In y In
outright. At length he was obliged to
beckon to the sexton and request him TO
put an end To the boys fishing for tho
day or else send him somewhere else to
do IL.
An uncomfortable experience which be-
fell Pnrson Bartlett, Unitarian minis
ter, some years ago, used TO be related by
his clerical brethren with good deal OF
glee Tho parson had been invited TO ex-
change pulpits with clergyman in Sa-
lem, and It being delightful Sunday in
the spring tho parson walked across the
fields from his home in Marblehead, start
Ing carly enough In the morning to be on
time when the hour for service arrived
The congregation assembled at tho usual
time, but no minister appeared. Minutes
passed into n half hour, and from that into
an hour, and 1t began TO be apparent that
there would be no services that morning
Just as the congregation was about To dis
perse the parson arrived. He was covered
with mud from head to feet His coat was
torn, his hat battered and n tclltnlc streak
on his shirt front exposed his darling vice
OF chewing tobacco.
An explanation was In order and was
given. While the parson was sauntcring
leisurely along, enjoying the bracing
morning air and tho picturesque views.
thinking now and then OF the points in
his Sermon he heard believing behind
him, and, looking around, saw belliger-
ent bull, with his nostrils dIlatcd and his
tail In tho Dir, rushing directly for him.
The parson ran for wall near by and
Jumped into the next field. But the bull
was not 10 be eluded in that way. He was
over as soon rs his clerical victim. Tho
parson jumped over the wall again into
tho field be had left, but tho bull was there
before he was. In this way they kept up
the jumping and running, first over one
wall, then over another, until by scalinga
fence the parson reached the open road.
The bull was thus brought to a standstill
and ran off snorting defiance. Parson
taI xrtt hfe ta6