The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1895-01-22
PITH AND POINT.


Bulletin.
There is wide difference between
n shingly beach and beach Single
Evansville IN. W Breeze.
Ink plants grow in New Granada.
They have to be built in this country.
Evansville IN. " Breeze.
If every tree is known 10y it's fruit,
will somebody say what kind of fruit
n boot tree bears p Boston Transcript.
He figured out just what he knew,
BY his own chosen rules
And found that any way. twas true
All other men We're zoos.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Time is said to be money, and yet
people have no scruples ut all about
taking up all of your time. Atlanta
Constitution.
Judge-"What's tine charge against
:his prisoner, officer?" Oficer-
Didn't know he was loaded, your
honor. "-Somerville Journal.
Professor, why is Pallas Bthene
considered the goddess of wisdom?"
".5he was the only goddess who didnot
marry. "-Flieg lie Blaetter.
"What an easy going fellow Tom is !
He makes the best OF everything"
cor, rather, he takes tho best OF
everything. boston Transcript.
In becoming popular with the girls
n young man will find horse and
buggy more useful than either good
looks or brilliancy. -Atchison Globe.
Ha loves me in pRssonage way,
And my voice no likes TO hear,
But he never smiles when he hears me say,
THE coalhol is empty, dear"
New York Press.
The Moon Ito the sun)-"Can't you
stay out with me for while Tonight"
The Sun-"Td like to very much, but
really must decline. South Boston
News.
Jinkbot5-"Y complain of tho
expense of a typewriter; why don't
you have your wife do it?" Henpeck
-'I can't dictate to my wife. "-Syra-
cuse Post.
The Scissorsman- "Why have they
fred the new political editorial
writer?" The Humorist -"Becanse
there wasn't any fire in him. New
York Press.
Pushpen-"Do you suppose that I
could get a bigger price for my poem
if had it set to music?" Jolliem-
"No. You'd have to sell it for n song,
them. Harlem Life.
When politician tells you that it
is time that the best men were nomina-
ted for public Office it is pretty safe to
conclude that he has bee III his bon.
et.-Boston Transcript.
When woman begins to show
dislike to being called by her pet
name she may be considered as Of
ficially ont OF the matrimonial race.
HUDSON IN. " Register.
Passonger-'M Mercy on us! A rob-
Der has held up tho train" Robber
Don't be alarmed, gentlemen.
Just throw the porter of, and the train
can proceed. Atlanta Constitution.
Upon the football field sc lad
With energy doth kick a goal,
And then at homo kicks twice as hard
When told TO hustle in some coal.
Buffalo Courier.
Fweddy "Aw-what does it mean,
deah boy, when it says wheat went
all TO pieces at the opening?'" Cholly
"Why-why, / weckon that's the way
we get ouah cwacked wheat. Chi
cago Tribune.
Mr.. ADJUST look at that old dolt
of a man. What charming wife no
has. How true it is that the biggest
fools always marry the prettiest girls"
Mrs. A. 49, "Oh, you hatterer. boston
Commercial Bulletin.
It doesn't hoip ms any,
As we sit 10 have him jerk,
TO think the careful dentist
SpIrcth no pains Ia mis- work
buffalo Courier.
"Tell u.s." cried the group of maid
ems, chow Co remain always young
and attractive" "That is easy, re-
piled the sage without even lifting his
eyes from his book "G5t fortune
and stay single indianapolis jour
nal.
Have you time table nero?"
asked the seedy stranger. "Our
terms, replied the restaurant keeper,
care cash in advance" 'FOiied
again, Missed the seeiy stranger be-
tween his useless teeth. -IndiauaDolis
Journal.
io4ng husban Is with slim sliaris
VI ~ now peg N 10 NGur5
Upon the probability
rhat sleeves will soon be bigger.
Chicago Tribune.
owe don't shouted the impas-
stoned orator, eve don't want nothing
else but the English language spoke
in this country, and don't you forget
itl' And the hearers promised them
selves toremembcr what he had spoken.
- indianapolis Journal
Dusty Rhodes" Fitzey an was
partners for years, but had TO scare
mm away. Weary Walker -"Did
hc do vronS?' Dusty Rhodes
Yep; he got so he'd sit by the road
side Tor hours, taSin' what be called