The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-09-04
BRIGHT BITS.

lie BudBe OF QedI mute is a thing
tnat goes without saying.-Texas Siftings.
The History n.-Teacher-When
did the thirty years war commence?
Pupil-l don't know, sir, but If you'll
tell me when It left off can reckon up
Fliegende Batter
dying about p. mr." says the Marion
tOhlol star, speaking of a recently de-
ceased citizen, his spirit took it's flight
IN good time to attend the evening service
in heaven.-Buffalo Express.
She goes without a chaperon,
And that's one reason, sir,
Why everybody joins, l ween,
In looking after her
Detroit Tribune.
"A Speedy Change-He (about to pro-
pose)-My dear Elise, / do love you.
She-You know. of course, l am poor.
He-Yes, Miss Elise, and 1 hope you will
permit me TO be a brother to you.-Humor-
istische Batter.
The reason that women are not in
clined to join in the general denunciation
OF Holmes is because he built numberless
closets in his house. Many closets are the
of them do contain family skeletons-Chi-
cago Times-Herald.
Here's a matchi" exclaimed the first
sweet girl when they had reached their
room after an evening spin on the bou-
leyard; now, who will light the gas?"
Give the match to Mabel replied the
second sweet girl, shes the only one
in boomers. Chicago Post.
"A few years ago there was a man in
Devonshire who had six or seven very
corpulent daughters. When asked how
generally something of this kind: 81 have
three boys, and about thirteen hundred
weight Of girls. ''-Tit-Bits
His Angel-"What is that, dear?' the
young husband asked.
Angel food said she sweety.
I-I-guess you better eat IL yourself
You are the only angel in the house"
And he helped himself literally to the
bread hppf a
Eastern stranger-What are they lynch
ing him for?
Quick Drop Dan-Attempting suicide.
Eastern Stranger-They might just as
we'll have let him kill himself.
Quick Drop Dan-No,- stree. The bows
out here don't believe in a Teller being so
SelhSh.-Life.
Hell had a queer dream about you
last night, Miss Louisa. / was about to
give you a kiss, when suddenly we were
separated by river that gradually grew
as big as the Thames.
She-And was there no bridge and no
boat.-Household words.
That's what you would call Trilby
cocktail, wasn't It, bartender" said Riy-
ers' setting down his. glass and reaching
for a Glove. '"Trilby? 1 don't understand !"
replied the bartender You tried to make
something unusually fine and you put YOUR
foot in it"-Chicago Tribune.
whisky" said the temperance ora
tor, in tones of much earnestness, as he
pointed his finger at the audience. whisky
has killed more men than bullets" 'sAiI
the same" said the watery-eyed citizen
near the middle aisle, 'I'd a heap rather
a man filled me with whisky than with
bullets.-lndianapolis Journal.
At Their Five O'Clock Tea.-The
Daughter of the Revolution-At our last
meeting Mrs. Oldfield told how her great
grandmother sacrificed the family plate
for the cause.
The Calonial Dame-Yes, I've heard that
the continentals were often hard pushed
10 ind lead for their bullets.-Truth
Only One Hitch.-''Yes," said the in
Ventor, Il think l see millions in it if 1
can only get the thing to work"
NO doubt" said the doubling friend
what have you in mind now?"
"A scheme for combining cyclones in BIZ
Gle tires. See? There is your ideal motor
at merely the cost of capture.-Indianap-
oils Journal.