davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19
o N GUN.

Gen. /, n Tartan commander in the
Chinese army, can probably boast OF
having the shortest name in the world
But he has q long ancestry.
in the construction of the new battle.
ships tireproof wood is to be employed
The process of hreproofing consists in
forcing sulphate and phosphate of am
monia into the wood by hydraulic pres
sure
At the seige Of Jerusalem by Titus
the captive Jews We're crucitied by the
Romans in such numbers that Jose
phus says, there was no longer WOOD
OF which TO make the crosses O spac'
for them &c stand.
The war department is experiment
ing with rubber heels for shoes, an,
the tests made by troops at Fort Leav
enworth indicate hat the new heels
lessen the jar to The body in marching
and thus add to the comfort of thu
troops.
Arrangements have been made by tn
German military authorities on tn
first intimation Of war TO instantly con
vey by rail all the women and children
in such large towns as Meta and Stras
burg, as well as smaller places, int
Germany.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19
SHORT LIVES OF PRESIDENTS.

Only Eight Chief Magistrates Have Eg-
ceeded Their Expectations of Life.
From some recent life Insurance.
statistics il appears that the presiden-
tial office is a fatal m
At Washington's inauguration his
expectation Of life, according TO the
insurance tables, was sixteen years,
but he lived only ten years.
The next seven presidents not only
lived out their expectation of life, but
the two Adamses, Jefferson, Madison.
jackson, Van Buren, and Tyler exceed
ed it.
But Harrison fell nine years hort OF
his expectation of life, Polk seventeen,
Taylor eleven, Pierce seven, Lincoln
sixteen, johnson seven, Grant seven,
Hayes three, Garfield twenty-five and
Arthur fifteen. 1t is true that Lin
coin and Garfield were assassinated
but the assassination of a president
should always be taken into account
as a possibility.
Our first eight presidents exceeded
their expectation of life forty-five
a in the aggregate. while their
successors fell one hundred and ter
years snort lniS mhy seem s.ruhbe
when it is recollected that the length
of human life has steadily increased
during the century. The compiler OF
these statistics suggests an explana'
ton. He says:
THE fact seems plain to me that the
presidential office is becoming toe
heavy a burden for any man to assume
without almost certain shortening o.
his life. The responsibility is sc
great, the tension so destructive, tina
i never again expect to see a presi
dent survive the full period of his nat
ural expectation"
Evidently the presidential office is
dangerous one, but very few of oul
patriotic statesmen will ever decline
it on that account-Atlanta Constitu
tion-
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19
WOMAN'S WIT.
Told by a Society Girl.
Something About Morphine, sulphur. Mo-
lasses and other Things.
From the Erentno Ners, Nenark, N. J.

From the Erentnp Ncrs, Necark, ". J.
Among the popular society leaders in
East Orange, N. j., Emma l.. Stoll, Il charm
ing young maiden, stands In the foremost
rank. She is of q lovable disposition and
the light of the social set in which she
moves. For two years she has been q sick
girl from informal troubles peculiar to wom-
en-, and having recently recovered, has
given our reporter the following interesting
account:
'Instead of improving under the care of
my physician 1 became worse. For five
weeks / was unable to get out OF bed and
about six o'clock each morning | suffered
horribly. My lips were sore and lacerated
from the marks OF my teeth, for in my eff
forts to keep from screaming l sunk my
teeth deep into my lips. At such times /
rolled and tossed until the bed shook like
an aspen leaf aud 1t finally got so serious
that the doctor-I Won't tell you his name
gave me some morphine pills TO take. The
very thought OF them now makes me SILVER.
These morphine pills simply put me TO sleep
for. awhile aud when l became conscious
again my agony was renewed.
1.-THE pain In my stomach M back was
more than l could stand. Your blood is
poor said the doctor, take sulphur and mo-
l%asses,' and l did until 1t was u great wonder
that l was not a molasses cake 1t was time
wasted in taking IL because l was not bene-
fitted in the least; my suffering continued,
but Dy q mighty EFFORT AlJer De1nR In Deu so
long, / got up. Oh, but l was a sad sight
then. From liz pounds, l had fallen to
ninety; my cheeks were pale and sunken
and Ilimped yes, actually hobbled from the
extreme pain In my side. hen / read of
DIR. Williams Pink Pills for Pale People
and the testimonial in the Ne,rs inspired me
with hope. l got the pills and took them.
Before many days l began to improve and
before | had finished one box l felt as If /
could go out and walk for miles. / soon
stopped limping and through the Pink Pills
| soon bid goodbye to my headaches while
the pain in my stomach and back slowly
but surely ~succumbed to the influence of
these pills that seem to be able to persuade
all pain to leave ones body. o i am as
| used TO be; well and strong, light-hearted
and merry but never without the pills. See
l have got some of them now" and from
a nearby desk she handed out one of the
boxes.
DR.. Williams Piuk Pills contain, in q con.
densed form, all the elements necessary to
give new life and richness to the blood and
restore shattered nerves. They are also q
specific for troubles peculiar to females
such rs impressions, Irregularities and al
blood, and restore b glow ofhealth 10 pale
and sallow cheeks. In men they effect Q
radical cure in all cases arising from menta
worry, over-work or excuses of whatever
nature. Pink Pills are sold in boxes (neve'
in loose bulk at 80 cents a box or six boxes
for $3.50, and may be had of all druggists
or direct by mail from DIR. Williams Med
cine Company, Schenectady, N. Y.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19
An oreronian's Great scheme.

A young nan who not long since
found the pleasures Of city life pail on
him and went out into Washington
county TO be a jolly farmer claims TO
nave discovered a method of utilizing
oak grubs, which, II it works. says
the Portland Oregonian, will prove the
greatest discovery of the age, as far as
farming in Oregon is concerned. Every.
one who has had anything to do with
farming in the Willamette valley
knows what n nuisance oak grubs are.
They are young oak trees, which in
many places cover large tracts, and
are called grubs because the only
way of getting rid of them is by
grubbing them up. They have caused
more backaches and heartaches and
the use Of more profanity than any
other kind of grub in the state, though
the grub furnished in some places Ii
enough to make a saint swear. Well,
this genius of a farmer has grated al
his oak grubs with chestnut scions, and
says they are doing finely, and in q few
years he will be ~fattening vast drove;
of hogs OF chestnuts, and he can af
ford TO laugh Mt farmers who raiss
wheat TO fatten hogs,
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19

An old watchman, who used to keep
guard in the department of justice,
says Kate Fields Washington, from
long association with the legal lights
in the building believed he had inn
bibed fair share of learning in the
law, and so when one night a telegram
addressed to The attorney general came
after hours, he had no hesitancy in
opening it and reading its message. II
asked the question: us n man to be
held responsible for n crime committed
while under the influence of liquor?"
The watchman pondcred over this mes.
sage for some time, and, as he knew
what the influence of liquor was, he
sent the laconic answer: No, indeed,
(Signed) John Jones, in charge of de-
partment of Justice" OF course there
was an immediate attack on the attor
ney general for such n decision. and
the matter came to the ears of the de
partment. An investigation was made
and the watchman suspended for three
months. This did not worry him, how
ever. With ~effrontcry that simply
d~umfoundcd the clerks, he came to the
building every payday during tina
time of suspension and drew his salary
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19
II ~CHIFFONIER.
A Ruined Institution In the Great City OF
Paris.

Paris.
The chiffoniers of Paris have lost
their trade least it has become SO
totally modified that they no longer
pursue IL in it's ancient form. The
vast and dirt from every house used
to be poured out into the street before
the front door each evening at nine or
ten o'clock, and the %chiffonier, with
his lantern and his hook in his hands
and his basket on his back, arrived at
once and raked the heaps over, to see
what he could find in them. But it be-
came forbidden, says Blacswood's
Magazine, either to throw the refuse
into the street or to bring it out at
night.
1t was prescribed that it should be
carried down in the early morning in a
box, which is placed, full, at the door,
and is emptied before nine o'clock in
the dust carts, which go round each
day. The ~chiffoniers, therefore, have
no longer the opportunity of picking
over the dirt, for 1t has ceased to offer
itself in an accessible form; they have,
for the most part, to carry on Their
trade after the refuse is discharged
from the carts at the depots, and, con
sequently, have almost disappeared
from the streets They nno be re
gardcd as a loss, for they were, o.
necessity, dirty and bad smelling, and
looked, Us they provided about will
their dull lanterns in the dark, lik,
specters of miserable evilness. But
all the same, they were thorough,
typical of old Paris.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19
ITEMS OF

The butterfly collection belonging to
Prof. Nenmoegen, of Brooklyn, n. T.,
is valued at 100000.
It has been legally decided that a
man is entitled to vote on the day pre-
ceding the 21st anniversary of his
birth. In other words, II he was born
on November G, 1874, he can vote
On November 5, 1895.
A chapel in honor of st. Paul gave
a new name TO the Minnesota city
1t was originally called Pigs Eye,
from q nickname given TO q one-eyed
Frenchmsn who kept a drinking shan
~ at the place.
Mr.. Fred Snow. of Ninalhaven, Me.
while making repairs 10 his house, dis
covered In the wall three bags contain
ing silver coins to the value of $1,000
The latest date on the coins was 1850
indicating hat the money must hav'
been put there over 40 years ago.
The executors of the estate of III,
late Samuel J. Tilden have determines
TO sell the plants Mt Greystone at pub
lie auction. One of the plants. q sag
palm, is over 200 years old and is salt
TO have been at one time owned b,
George Washington.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19
II PARIS FUND.
Hew the Irish Money Was Brought from
France TO England.

Hcw the irish Money Was Brought from
France TO England.
An interesting account OF the trans
mission of the released Paris funds from
Paris TO London has been furnished by
the London correspondent of the Free
man. With the exception o. a very
small proportion, the funds, IT should
be explained, are in the form OF Amer
lean bonds of various kinds, payable to
bearer.
When the order for their surrender
TO Mr.. Mccarthy was delivered by the
French courts to the Paris bankers,
Messrs. Monroe, the question arose as
TO the best means of transporting them
across the channel. The junior part
ner of the firm of Messrs. Longmans 81
Co.. who acted as Mr.. McCarthy's sole.
l~icitors, considered it undesirable to
travel with so large a sum of negotiable
bonds in his possession without insur-
ing them. However, on inquiring of
several leading Insurance companies
he found hat none of them would un-
dertake the risk. The result was that
Mr.. Longmans decided not to hazard
the chances of the road with the securi-
ties.
Inquiry was instituted among per-
sons accustomed to sending valuables
of various kinds from the French to the
English capital, in order to discover
the plan usually adopted. To the sur.
prise of those concerned, they learned
that the only really safe method in the
case of such valuable parcels was &c
tend them by registered letter, and
this method was ultimately successful'
w adoDted.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19

Annual Half Rate Excursions to Canada.
Via Chicago g Grand Trunk hallway.
The Chicago & Grand Trunk Railway has
arranged for the usual Half Rate Holiday
Excursions TO principal points in Canada
for season of 1898.
Thursday, December 10th,
Friday, December Goth,
Saturday, December 21st.
Tickets good to return up to and includ-
Ing January 9th, 1906.
Avail yourself of this opportunity TO visit
Canada aud spend the Holidays with the
Folks at Home.
All through trains Of the Chicago & Grand
Trunk Railway pass through the Great st.
Clair Tunnel, one of the wonders of modern
engineering skill, aud is the only line offer
ing the public advantages Of through Pull
man car service to Canadian points. Tickets
may also be purchased reading via Detroit
IL desired.
Excursion tickets on sale at all stations.
For further particulars apply to Ticket
Agent, l03 So. Clark st.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19
AN AMERICAN LEGEND.
Don't Make n Row Unless You Know yOe
Are Right.

Don't Make a Row Unless You Know Yoe
Are Right
Once upon q time an eminent citizen
entered the Office of a gas company and
threw down the months bill he had re-
ceived that day and shouted:
Now. by the beard of my father,
but / am wroth and want gorel'
Anything wrong?" kindly and sym
pathetically queried the young man at
the window.
"WrongP Wrong? Can you not readP
Can't you get that sum total through
your young and innocent headl'
'Of q surety ! can. sir. see by this
bill that o are charged with fifty
thousand feet of gas at m dollar and
a half per thousand, for the month of
August-total, seventy-five dollars.
Prithee. sir, but why this fervidness Of
speechY"
~ never burned that gas!'
"But the meter, sir--the meter makes
no mistakes! However, l will summon
here the secretary, who is a man OF
more duency of speech than myself"
"Why this kick, my dear sir"" kindly
asked the secretary as he appeared.
because of the size of thai bill"
But you must remember that last
month was a long one"
But / was away on n visit and my
house was deserted. ] did not even
burn one foot of your Internal old
gas!"
'"Tis passing strange" quoth the
secretary. ~ will summon hence our
president, who hath the knack OF un'
raveling strange things
MAN, hath thy better senses left
thee?" severely asked the president al
he looked out upon the kicker. Haiti
news of war or the excitement of poll
tics turned thy headg'
"Not by a jugful! How could
burn your gas in my house was shu
up9'
''Prithee, sir, 10 n says you burned
the gas, and no one denies that you
house was shut up. This bill is simpl.
Cor the leakage which always take
place in a house when the family is at
sent. IT'S but a trife, and II thou ar
inclined TO raise a great row and"
''Oh! mol no! mol l simply did no
understand. 1t looked like highwa
robbery. Your explanation is not onl
satisfactory, but here is the cash and
beg your pardon for my unseemly cor
ductr'
And he counted down seventy-hv
big dollars, shook hands all aroun
and wished them peace and prosperit.
and his shadow had scarcely turne
the corner when q oma came in an
said they might take the shoes of h'
feet before she'd pay the outrageo'
bill of one dollar and s~cventy-fve cen
they had sent by the same mail!-D
froit Eraa Press
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward
for any case of Catarrh that can not be
cured by Halls Catarrh Cure.
F. j. CHENEY a. Co, Props, Toledo, o..
We, the undersigned, have known F. j,
Cheney for the last 10 years., and believe
him perfectly honorable In all business
transactions and financially able to carry
out any obligations made by their firm.
WEST 81 TRuAx, Wholesale Druggists, To
ledo, o. =,
WALDINa, KINNAN & MARVIN, Wholesale
Druggists, Toledo, Ohio.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally
acting directly upon the blood and mucous
surfaces of the system. Price t5c. per bot
tie. Sold by oil Druggists. Testimoniali
free.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19

mother was in the boat, too, and she
often told me how she fired dads old
pistol at the beasts head"
"well, you've certainly had your re-
yenpe on the chief of the clan-even II
my gun has made your nose bleed. Ill,
you boatmcnl Haul that head mp the
bank and well boil IL for the skull. The
skins too knocked about tokeep. Como
along TO bed now. This was worth sit
ting up all night for, wasn't it?'
Curiously enough, the jnclsal and tho
adjutant made the very anne remark
not three minutes after the men had
left
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19
Legal Papers.

Nearly all legal papers are now typo
written, though documents are en-
countered now and then which have
been laboriously written out by the
hand Of one of the counsel The men
who still cling TO the habit of writing
their w legal papers are usually old
lawyers, often of good practice, who
cannot accommodate themselves TO the
new order of things. Young lawyers,
no matter how small their practice,
manage in one way or other TO obtain
the services Of a stenographer. Some
of the older men find IL practically inn
possible TO work with q stenographeI
or typewriter at hand.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19
Fire, Fret That Dreadful or,

Is fraught with import doubly dire to tn.
unhappy man who beholds his dwelling or
his warehouse feeding the d~evouring ele-
ment uninsured. Happily most people who
can, insure-everything but health. Nine
tenths of us neglect the preservation of this
when it is in palpable jeopardy. 1ncipient
indigestion, liver complaint. 10 grippe, mac
ton of the kidneys and bladder and malaria
are all counteracted by Hostetter's Stom-
ach Bitters.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19
To Cleanse the system

EffectuaIly, yet gently, when costive or bill
or when the blood is impure or slug
gish, to permanently cure habitual constir
patton, to awaken the kidneys and liver TO
healthy activity without irritating or weak
ening them, to dispel headaches, colds oil
fevers, use Syrup of Figs
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19
The Pilgrim.

Holiday Number.) Full of bright
sketchesEprose, poetry and illustrations
by bright writers aud artists. Entirely
original, new and entertaining. Mailed free
10 any address on receipt of six (6l cents in
postage stamps. Write to GEO. II. HEAF-
FORD, Publisher, Ais Old Colony building,
Chicago, Ill.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19

sandba-, where they stood admiring
the length of the mugger. Then a ma
tive with an AK cut OFF the big head,
and four men dragged it across the
spit.
THE last time that l had my hand in
a mugger's mouth" said one of the
Englishmen, STOPPING down Qhe was the
man who had built the BRIDGE, 'it was
when | was about five years old-com-
ing down the river by boatto Monghyr.
l was q mgtiny baby, y know. Poor
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19

the gauntlet o punish,
ment supposed TO be peculiar 10 the
American Indians, was originated in
the British navy. Every sailor In the
crew but the offenders TO be punished
was provided with a switch. which he
was required to lay briskly on the bare
shoulders of the man who did the run
ming between the two lines.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19

The class in natural history being asked
the difference between a dog and a tree, the
head boy answered: "a tree iscovered with
bark, while a dog seems to be lined with it.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19

Switzerland is alarmed at the posi-
bility of an attack by w~arships. The
italian government has placed in the
Lago Maggicre and the Lago III Lugano
unarmed torpedo boats provided with
search lights, in order TO catch SNUG
glers. The Swiss papers look on this
as q violation Of neutrality.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19

KASsAS-'Say, Bill, 1t says here that the
crew OF the schooner were compelled to rig
a jury mast. What's q jury mastfn Mis-
sourian -"Why, anybody could tell you
that. It's one OF those big masts that il
takes twelve men to put np.n
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19

The international association esti'
mites the production OF sugar for
1so5-96 in Germany. Austria. France,
Belgium, Holland and Russia at $780,
o2s tons. n falling of OF $4,000 tons
from the total Of the previous year.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19

Hailstones as large as hens eggs
have given place as a remarkable nat
ural product in Washington state TO
apples as big as footballs. Red apples
IS inches In circumference have been
produced in several districts, and pip
pins and greetings measuring from a
foot 10 IA inches around are almost
nlentiful.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19

For whooping Cough, Piso's Cure is a
successful remedy.-M. p. DIETER, 90 Throop
Ave, Brooklyn, n. Y, Nov. IA, ~.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19

ION, pa" said a young lady, "why don't
you get a fir tree2 II would be so economi-
cal TO raise our own furs, and then we could
raise whatever kind we wish"
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19

LIKE Oil Upon Troubled Waters is Hale,
Honey of Horehound and Tar upon a cold
pixies Toothache Drops Cure in one minute
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19

BEErHAM's PILLS for constipation 10c an(
25c. Get the book (free) at our druggist
and go by it. Annual snles $1,000 boxes
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19

1T is no sure sign that the west Is a pol
shed country because so many people scour
the plains.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19

SEEpY AppLIcaNr-'Won't you give me a
penny, sir" Corpulent Gentleman-'A
pennyi Why do you ask me Tor a !,
you'd give it To me unless l asked for It,"
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19

TEACUER-"What does the reign of King
Charles 1 teach usl" Tommie-"Please,
sir, not to lose our heads in moments of ex'
element sir. Truth
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19

THE look on any married womnn's face
should convince the girls that the men are
not worth the exertion necessary to catch
one.-Atchison Globe
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19

ALMOST all my tragedies were sketched In
my mind, either in the act OF hearing music
or q few hours after.-Alheri.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19

A CoUGu SHOULD Nor BE NEGLECTED.
"BroWn's Bronchial 1~roches" are n simple
remedy and give immediate and sure relief.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19

FoND PARENT 81 wish, Bobby, that
could be a little boy again" Bobby
wish you could-iittler than me-"
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19

TnE skipper of q vessel need never be
without fresh eggs. He can always lay To.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19

: THERE is a difference between a cold ant
the grip. but you will not realize it until yol
receive the doctors bil.-Truth.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-12-19

WHEN a tunnel is projected, it is general
ly put through.