Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1895-03-02
SEVENTEENTH YEAR.
Simmons, solemnly Hes dead"
Chow Won talkp'

y
Its so. There's Grape on the door"
"AIust have been dreadful sudden!
Mis- Stoner was in here last evening
an she reckoned he'd be out in day
or two well as ever.
Il know. But he ain't been we'll for
a long time. L could see it if others
couldn't"
"Well, well! I'll go round to the
house soon as my Matte comes home
from school to mind the Office
The news was spreading now from
another source, and in way that
caused those who heard it to declare
that it was perfectly scandlous" for
Mrs Stoner to carry on So
Job Higley, the grocer's delivery
man, returned from leaving some
things at the Stoner house, full of in
dignation.
'"That Mis- Stoner amt no more feel
in than lamp-post,'' said Job, indig-
nantly, to his employer There's
Grape on the door-knob for poor Sam
Stoner, an when I left the groceries
Mis- Stoner was fryin' doughnuts cool
as a cowCumber an singin' Way down
upon the Swanee River loud as she
could screach, an when [ said l was
sorry bout Sam she just laughed an
said she guessed Sam was all right
an then if she didn't go to iolzin' me
bout Tidy Hopkinsr'
Old Mrs. Peevy came home with an
equally scandalous tale
Il went right over to the Stoners
soon as | heerd bout poor Sam" she
said, ''an' if you'll b'lieve me, there
was Mis- StOner hangin' out clothes in
the back yard. | went right round
to where she was an she says jest as
fippant, Mercy! Mis- Peevy, where'd
you drop down FROM?
Il felt SO s'prised an disgusted that
[ says, Mis- Stoner, this is a mighty
solemn thing an if she didn't just
look at me and laugh, with the Grape
for poor Sam danglin' from the front
door-bell knob; an she says, I don't
see nothin' very solemn bout washin'
an hangin' out some o. Sans old
shirts an underwear that he'll never
wear agin. I'm goin' to work 'em up
into carpet rags1sif they amt too fur
gone fur even that
" Mis- Stoner,' l says, the neighbors
will talk dreadfully if you amt more
careful an she got real angry and
said if the neighbors would attend to
their business she'd attend to hers l
turned and left without even going into
the house,
The Carbury Weekly Star, the only
paper in the village, came out two
hours later with this announcement:
eve stop our press to announce the
unexpected demise of our highly re
spected fellow-citizen, Mr.. Samuel
StOner this afternoon. A more ex-
tended notice will appear next week
"Unexpected! I should say sou said
Mr. Samuel Stoner, in growing wrath
and amazement as he read this an
nouncement in the paper. GA more
extended notice next week! I'll write
that notice myself, I'll extend it far
enough to let that editor know what
think of him, I'lI-
but how did this get on the front
door?" interrupted Mrs. Stoner. 81
found it there when l went out to get
the paper. 1t is the strangest thing,
and there's the minister coming in
at the gate! Do calm down, Sam! He's
coming to make arrangements for the
funeral, suppose. How ridiculousv
Mr.. Havens, the minister, was sur
prised when Mr.. Stoner himself opened
the door and said:
'Come right in, pastor; come right
in My wife's busy, but I'll give you
the main points myself if you want to
go ahead with the funeral"
While they talked over the mystery
of the Grape on the door the bell rang
again and a moment later they heard
Dorothy Deans childish voice saying
to Mr.. Stoner:
''Please, Mis- Stoner, Katie and left
mammals old black veil tied to your
door-knob when we were playing over
here, and I'd like to get it again!'-
J. L. Harbour, in Youths Companion.