The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-09-01

human body floating in the bay, and while
debating in their minds what was most
profitable and safe to do they saw small
platform on the edge of the water above
their heads in the boughs of a great oak.
These ancient and noble oak trees of Oak
land and Alameda Cites
sLordl Lord Cut the oak trees of Oak
land and Alameda Cut 'em quickp' .
''Cut, sir"
"Perched there among the boughs, and
quite secure from observation, they fast
ened their eyes on this glistening and
glorious diamond which was being slowly
borne toward them by the incoming tide
The diamond shone with resplendent bril-
liancy in the flashing and FLASHING spray.
The dying sun laid his sword of gold at
the feet of San Francisco, and then passed
out through the Golden Gate in token of
submission"
"Cut the gate and sword and sun and all
that sentimental and Internal rot. Do you
hear?"
"Cut, SIR"
"Then quick, quickl What did they
do?"
Eyes, yes; I'm coming to that, I'm COM
ing to that. 1t is very interesting, very
scientific, sir. Only medical students would
have thought of it and acted on it, !" and he
read on:
The medical students, finding the noble
diamond was about to become less lumin-
Gus as the sun went down and possibly be
lost in the darkness, began to devise means
of fastening the approach of the body.
The younger of the medical students
asserted that the firing of guns over body
in the water would break the gall in said
body and cause such a sudden fermenta-
ton and formation of gases"
ceases? Gods! man, what did they do
Cut all that and tell how they got the body
ashore!"
"Cut, sir''
"Well, readp'
1.-The elder and wiser of the two said to
the younger of the two that such stuff was
rot; the only thing that raised bodies
from the water by the firing of guns was
the agitation of the water by the explosion
of the powder and the consequent disturb
ance OF the impregnated atmosphere, and
the
Heavens and earth, Israeli Did they
shoot and get the body ashore by shoot
ingy'
"Well, you can go to that-to that other
place, too. Git! Times up"
The excited and triumphant editor wrote
TWO more big black head lines, touched the
button, handed the lines to the bow. and as
the boy melted away into the dirty hall of
darkness and left him quite alone, he threw
up his exultant head like noble warhorse
in battle. (See Job.) The old reporter with
the humpbacked nose and bony hand had
disappeared, as ordered, leaving his crum-
pied manuscript on the table before the
eyes of the exultant editor. The button
boy had collided with him in the dark and
dirty hall as he was theoretically feeling
his way to the descending stairs and street.
Dead body! Mayor CT Alameda! Dia-
mond big as nut! Gods, what a scoop!"
And thus chuckled the editor as he threw
himself back and pushed out his new boots
under the rickety old editorial table till
they creaked and cried out against the
boards of the opposite wall.
At last, instinctively, merely out of
curiosity, he picked up the crumpled bunch
of paper that had been laid before him by
the bony hand as the Wandering Jew dis
and read: "And indeed the firing
of the guns did raise the body, and right in
For the Mayor of the beautiful
and most orderly city of Alameda turned
on his face, withdrew the gor-
geous diamond from public gaze and
struck out for the shore, where he
scrambled into his clothes and ran hastily
up the street to find policeman.
&TS~r