The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-02-12
z N. A.


T7TYFH\N
The Major is Freezing in the Mountains
Blaming it on GrOVer--Ihomas
Jefferson Sneed "ov
Bunkum."
B-'HeIlol Mr.. Editor"
R.-''Hellol Major Bilkins. What
ia the news in the mountainsF"
B.-"Mity little news agoin'. we
air awl frozen up here jist waitin' lei
thaw. I'm nifty Uneasy. II Betsy
haint froEe she il NIFTY nigh. The
people up here say Grover Cleveland
" resoonserble fer this awful weather.
I'm stavfn' with Thomas Jefferson
sneed. IN Bunkum county, for the
present. Tomizatlue blue dymakrat,
but he iines us awl in blamin' 1t on the
preserdent. In fact, he blsmes every
thing on Grover. Tom an his boys
were out haulin' wood the other day,
an Toms old bay horse, one he has
owned fer ten years, got to 0aulkin'
an wouldn't pull g pound. Tom says
that horse never refused to pull IN his
life before. He got stubborn an spoiled
a Young horse that Waz hitched beside
him by rarin' an pitchin' GROUND 30.
They had ter unhitch them an pull the
Vaughn ter the house themselves. Tom
sed it wuz awl on account ov the ad-
ministration at Washington. One ov
hiz best COWS got choked by a nubbln
ov corn last week an he bless'd u
Cleveland an Kongress for causin' 1T.
TIE minks got into his hen house the
other mite an killed erbout twenty
chickens. Tom sed he. wuz q dyma
krat. but he'd be shivered if the minks
amt twice az bad az they were before
Cleveland got holt ov the ropes.
About two months ergo hiz purtiest
darter run away an married a rever-
new officer an disgraced the family,
an Tom sed Cleveland Wuz ter blame,
fer gurls he'd moro sense mol ter marry
q revernew ofiser before the Cleve
land calamity fell on us. He lowed
that Cleveland has cut off a guide deal
o7 the price ov products and ruined
the wheat crop tetottally, an he ex,
poets the land won't sprout peas by
the time CIeveland's time IL out !
never seen a fellow take on like Tom
does. The Majors are aWl the same
way. I think the church folks ulster
sorter blame the devil with awl the
bad doins, but now they say Cleveland
IL leadin' the people from the strate an
r path ter e%verlastin' ruin. l
believe Cleveland will keep On till he
gifts the people ter be more down on
him an ter think less ov him than
they do ov Satan. / wuz talkin' with
Tom erbout that last mite. He said ii
Wuz a fact. He sed that hades mite
be GUIDE deal hotter than it IL here,
but a climate that il too cold an 6
country run by Cleveland an Wal
Street are bad enough ter punish the
worst people,"
R-"Perhaps Mr.. Sneed Is too hare
on Mr.. Cleveland. We all admit tina
he is the meanest man that aver liveC
among a civilized people, but we hard
" expect he will do as much mischie
az the old gentleman you mentioned
He is quite mean enough, but vii
hardly live long enough to give man
kind as hard a tussle as his prototype
Has your political atmosphere cleareC
up any since last WeekT"
B.-"Mity little. I'm gittin' mysel
aWl rite with the folks Whut ] meet
but they say they don't care whether
they vote fer another governor or not
They say the State hes bin hummin
along without a governor fer sum time
an they amt emmy use in payin' feI
one. But I'm kissin' the children an
gittin' square with the ole folks te
make the race, providin' we kin re
sussitate the dymakrat party frum tn
state it hes fallen into GUIDE bye"
CONCLUDED FROM FIFTH PAGE
mid NV CTN TI