Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1895-06-13
HE HANGS PAPER.
Mr.. Wiggle sworth's Experience at
Spring House Cleaning.

made into the front nail MS 1901 rested
upon o moist cake Of soap, and in
another instant he was over by the
dining-room door with his arms around
the hat-tree and some language trailing
on behind that left coppery taste in
the atmosphere as it slowly curled up
the front stairs.
"Who left that soap on the Aoor?" he
yelled, as soon as he could unlock him
self from the hat-tree.
"Why-I-I guess Mary must STAN
mered Mrs, Wigglesworth, who had
rushed in from the kitchen with a
potato masher in her hand. We've
are cleaning house, you know
Cleaning house," said her husband;
well, s'pose ye are? You needn't think
you're going to use me to flop up your
noors with" Mr.. Wigglcsworth meant
to say mop up your floors. but the sud-
denness Of his entrance had temporarily
unhinged his tongue. "Think you've
seen me advertised In the back end Of
the magazine, don't YEP he continued,
warranted tosave labor or money re-
funded Reckon I'm to be had Of all
grocers, spose, or sent prepaid on re-
ceipt Of price,
These retorts were SO keen that Mr.,
Wigglesworth found his good.nature
coming back through their exercise,
and he ate dinner without grumbling
more than a man has to do ordinarily.
When he went into the sitting room he
found the carpet up and there was a
bundle ofwall paper in chair.
whats this9' he shifted, suspl,
ciously.
'lt's wall paper his wife respondedl
n got it at a great bargain down TO
Root & fredericksburg out Of new
spring goods just received, at less than
cost"
"lIuhs grunted her husband, unroll-
ind package and holding 1t wrong
side up. Looks like case Of delir-
ious trimmings"
"Ycs," Auttercd Mrs. Wigglesworth,
ut is the new art. the man said-after
Aubrey Beardsley."
"Who's Aubrey Beardsley?' coldly
returned Mr.. Wigglesworth with a
falling infection.
''IIe-hc is-the-the man that has
got Np so many new ideas of-of art, =
Mrs. Wigglesworth explained they
are quite crazy over him. you know, 50
the man said-''
well, u they're any crazier than
Beardsley ! pity EN-" growled her
husband, dropping the roll In disgust,
"Who's going to hoist this nightmare
onto our wallsq" he added.
III want You to step In and speak
to the paperhanger on your way down, 4"
his wife returned, tinidly,
"0h, yes, that's IT. Mr.. Wiggles-
worth snorted, 'fcller with a black
board on his shoulder and hinge In
the middle and four dollars q day
and then an idea shot into Mr., Wiggles-
worths active brain. "lIgeorge'' he
cried, firing with it, "l'll hang this
paper myself!' and he began peelinp
of his cont,
'But, Ellery,' his wife said, in mild
expostulation, "you haven't had any
experience
Experience nothing retorted Mr..
Wigglesworth, whats experience got
to do with a handy man? -Four dollars
days experience enough Tor me, and
| must be chnmp # | can't smear
some moist flour oyer the rear end of q
few sheets Of paper and slap 'em up
against a smooth wall.''
When Mr. Wigglesworth had made
up his mind to a thing It was like the
French revolution, it had to go, In
brief time he had the hired girl
boiling some paste and Mrs Wlg.
ellsworth had tied one OF her aprons
about his neck, much to his disgust
She said when all nature was vocal
with the melody of spring, when birds
were fluting their first glad notes and
q thousand streams made music IN theiE
journey toward the sea. shs didn't pro-
pose to have her husband going through
the street with flour paste daubed all
over his new spring clothes
Mr.. Wigglesworth opened one Of tho
rolls Of pa per, spread Il out on the
dining-room table and, taking q sight
at the altitude Of the room, cut off a
strip that appeared to be the proper
length. Utilizing q crumb brush he
spread on q oopious quantity Of paste
and then lifted the paper by one end.
He put his arms up to their full length
but the other end Of the paper still lin
gered on the table,
"Why don't We take hold Of it?" he
said testify to his wife, who stood du-
biously looking on.
So Mrs. Wigglesworth appraised the
other end and her husband stood in
chair. lie reached for the border line
Of the wall. but fell short Of It,
"Why don't We 90 fetch table?p he