Birmingham age-herald., 1895-06-23
THE CYCLONE

TACT that few crooks ana piackieSs,
who posed as judges of election, declare
Lushton elected, will not influence our
action one iota 1t is the desire of the
respectable people of this place that we
hold the office, and we shall do so, de-
spite the kicks of the ballot box suffers
and bride dispensers.
The election was the most disgrace
full affair that ever took place in the
west, and we would be very weak and
white-livered indeed to let the judges
decision stand. This city has voting
population of 732, yet last wednesday IN IN
the municipal election there were zlo5
votes polled. In other words, there were
1431 Illegal votes cast. According to the
official count we received 9S2 leaving
1881 for Lushton, giving him a majority
of 1879. We had our eye on Major Bufglh
when he voted thirteen consecutive times
We also noted the fact that Major clay
threw one vote after another into the bal
lot box in the same reckless manner that
he ordinarily displays when throwing
whisky into his long-suffering interior
We were on hand when Lushton himself
threw double handful of ballots in the
box We saw Bill Judson vote seventeen
times in his own name, and eleven times
for General Saltwater, now defunct
There were many other crooked Deeds
too numerous to mention, and II Lushton
has any idea that he will hold over an
other term, we will speedily undsceive
mayoralty perch at the expiration of his
present term, we will shoot both his
legs off and send him to the penitentiary.
Little Lottie Lushton, whose father we
have Just defeated for mayor of Bung-
town, sent us the following composition,
which she read at school last Friday,
requesting us to put it in the Cyclone
We do so with pleasure, Lottie. You
evidently don't take after your. sire Tor
the composition is real good and you are
a nice little girl:
Cows-By Lottie Lushton.
Cows are female genders and
live on grass. They give the milk
which we all like so well and
he calf has to be kept off. The
cows calf is cute little animal with
a sad expression and no horns. 1t loves
its mama's milk ever so much and goes
to headquarters for 1t, and drinks 1t Out
of the bottle. The COW is sometimes cross
and hooks at it's own child, but the child
never goes away. because it loves its
mama so. wish more little girls and
boys were like calf Some bad boys
run away from home and never come
back, and some little girls go behind the
house and cry because they can't run
away, which is real naughty, but the
beautiful little calf has to be drove OIL
with fence rail, and then always comes
right back | forget how many stoin-
achs cow has got, but there are several,
most of them being invisible. "A COW
chews it's food twice, and comes nome
every night to be MIXED. We have a
muly COW at our house, and have wrote
a piece of poetry about him. 1t is called
"A Node to a Muly Cow and this is 1t:
oh the muly COW, without no horns.
Your fate seems sad to me;
While other cows are horn-adornea'
No horns are gin TO thee.
I grieve with you oh. muly COW;
My tears in sorrow fall,
To watch you, I'm DOING now,
Without no horns at all
When other cows are blythe and gay,
How sad doth seem your lot;
Your spirit seems too sad to play
For horns you haven't got.
r. L. Lighthead Bungtown's represent
tative at the Memphis free silver convert
tion was never known to blow IN an
empty gun but he worked for three
years on a perpetual motion machine.
Bill Judson's youngest kid has measles
Subscribe for the Cyclone
Will some of our southern exchanges
inform us as to the truth of the rumor
that the mayor of Memphis competed
hotel keepers to shut off the gas ana
use lamps during the free silver conven-
ton?
S. T. X.-"What are young mans
chance of becoming PRESIDENT? he
stands no show at all. The constitution
prohibits the employing OF a person I'M
der As years to hold that job.
We took dinner at the "Old Glory" no.
tel last Sunday just for a change ana
because we happened to have the change,
During the progress of the meal OLD MAJ
jor Clay, who sat next to u.s. eating on
ions and ice cream, said II believe it il
customary to tip the walters at this ho-
tel: do you know anything about it?"
We said no. we didn't, but were consld-
cred a pretty good hand at learning
filings and if it was the style to tip the
waiter we could do the job as well as
professional To illustrate our remarks,
when the coon returned with dish OF
gravy and bottle of beer, we got up and
tipped him. He turned three or four
eomersaults the first tip, but not wishing
to appear a novice in the business, we
kept it up for several minutes. We tipped
him over four or five chairs, over the ta-
BILE and under the sdeboard. He was
well tipped when got through with
him. He is now tipping the doctor, but
in different way. Major Clay looked
at us moment as though we were somel
new gambling device unheard of be-
fore, and remarked: ~ eS, you'll 90,
and got up and left.
Jerry Borum of Snortville dropped in
on us Friday. He wore last years
straw hat two Colts revolvers, a Win
chester rifle and double-barreled shot
gun. He also had on pair of black
eyes. broken nose and enough sticking
plaster to make fashionable bathing
suit. He had gore in his eyes, and It
was evident that he was on the warpath.
We always have great deal of respect
for a man who is looking for trouble,
and when Jerry came in we shook his
DUKE