davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1895-07-24

EANIE Ca NJ p
bell came back
from the tailor 5
shop where she
worked, aud found
a company1G boys
and girls congre
gated round the
doorstep of the
tall tenem {
house in which she
rented one small,
back o They
were hooting and
ieerng at a man
seated in his shirt
sleeves on the door
step placidly smok-
ing a huge German
porcelain pipe.
The man did not
e in the least
disturbed at their
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1895-07-24
COOKERY.

Young Husband-"Say, darling,
what a peculiar flavor this stewed steak
has %
Young Wife (difidently)-'I really
cannot account for it. Indeed, in
order to take away the bad taste OF
the onions, / scalded them myself in
Eau de Cologne. "--Neckar -Zeitung.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1895-07-24
Pir.t ShOt of tine civil War.

There died recently in the little
town of Union Springs, in the south
ern part of Alabama, a man who
figured in one of the most interesting
events recorded in United States his
tory-Colonel John l. Branch. 1t
was he who gave the order to fire the
first gun of the late war a Fort Sumter,
where he was stationed at the time
chicago Herald.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1895-07-24
MERELY ASKED FOR FORM SAKE.

Borer-"Good morning. hope you
are not busy to-day"
Mr.. Busyman-"Ia m-very. Why?
Borer-"Because I'm going to take
up three or four hours of your time. u
Chicago Record.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1895-07-24

She-"Should you die, are you op-
posed to my remarrying?'
He-"No."
She-"Why not?"
He-"Why should I he SOLICITORS
about the welfare of a fellow l never
knew?"--Life.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1895-07-24
A DIFFICULT SUBJECT.

He-"Beiong to a ladies' debating
club, do you? Well, we'll What is
the subject for your next debate?'
She-"Avery difficult one: Should
a woman marry for wealth; or only
because il is a fashionable fadg"-
Puck.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1895-07-24

The Mother-'That boy of mine is
always wanting something. Last
month I bought him a bicycle, and
now 1 have just had to buy a pair Of
skates for him. Idon't know what TO
do with him"
The Uncle-"You don't know what
to do with him? II you have just
bought him a pair Of skates, | should
saw, put him on ice. New York
Press.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1895-07-24
Els IDEA OF GENIUS.

Freddie Van Twiggen had been silent
for such n long time that everybody
concluded that he must be thinking
again. Quite unexpectedly he said:
ga genius is WEAKLY u vewy ex-
waordinawy pawson."
Yes" replied one Of Freddie's
friends; ''there is no doubt of that
BY the way, what is your idea OF q
%genius?"
"a genius" said Freddie after some
consideration, sis a fellow who makes
you wondah how such a smaht man
can be such an utter chump. -
Judge.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1895-07-24
CHECK.

Bishop-"What did your landlord
Say when you told him that all your
Ssluables were in pawn and you had
no money with which to pay your
rent"
Knight-"He said it was my move."
Truth.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1895-07-24

Rural Rsgges-''This idea Of bein
perlite ter folks amt what it's cracked
up ter be-"
Tramping Tatters How so
Roory?"
Rural Ragges-'1 was workin' the
deaf an dumb racket, the other day
an pulled a woman ON fer a rattlin
square meal After / got through,
forgot mesilf, an said, Thank yer,
mum An she sic the dog onter me =
Puck.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1895-07-24
AN Exr1ANAr1oN DEMANDEn.

'rDid you say that some of my
transactions we're shady?" said the
young salesman to the floor walker.
YES" was the reply. 81 referred
to the sales you were making over the
parasol counter. Washington Star.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1895-07-24
LIVE 10 Eight AyorHER CASE.

"Now," said the Medical Professor,
''if a man were brought to you, Mr..
Hawkins, suffering from an nnmistak-
able case Of smallpox, what would you
do?"
sid light out" said Hawkins. =
Harper's Bazaar.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1895-07-24
TIE HEIGHT or EGor1sM.

Cora--"How is it when a nan writes
one famous story he very seldom writes
another?"
Merritt---'Becaus he deyotes the
rest of his life in telling US how he
came to write il. PUCK.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1895-07-24
TOAST WITHOUT THE QUAIL.

'Poor Jarley-the boys rugged up
a great game on him." said Bigelow.
farley went shooting for quail, but
all he bagged was a rabbit. The boys
stole the rabbit and filed the bag up
with toast, and when he got home he
told Mrs. farley that that was all he
got, emptying the contents of the bag
on the floor. She'll never believe
that farley was sober"
"What did she say?'
Nothing, except that she thought
he must have done his shooting IN a
restaurant. '-Harper's Bazaar.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1895-07-24
Shall I 90 out and get an

breakfast. Shall 1 go out and get an
other?"
Mistress-'1s there any news in the
morning paper?'
Eyes, indeed, ma'am-big accidents
and horrid murders, an bomb explo-
sions an rumors of another war;
Every we'll. Warm over something
left from supper, and place the paper
by my husbands plate. Puck.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1895-07-24
SHUT HIN Up.

Hhsband-''You should get over the
habit of talking to yourself when
you're going about the house"
Wife-'1 like to talk to somebody
with sense. New York Press
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1895-07-24
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
To Make a Man-Check-Shut Him
Up-Reasonable-The Height
ofEgotism-Live to Fight
Another Case, Etc.

II may take nine tailors to make q man
But unless he's a gold mine TO stake NM
Dollars to cents is a mighty safe b.
That it won't take that many 10 break MIN
Buffalo Courier.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1895-07-24

Last yea1 Ae Q ited,Ststes imported
more than 400, 900, 600 pounds of beet
sugar and three-fourths Of 1t from
Germany.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1895-07-24
A GOOD MANAGER.

Cook r a. m-)-'Please. ma'am, tn
dog got hold Of the steak that was fol
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1895-07-24
JEANIES LOVE LETTERS.

msnEANIE CAMP.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-08-16
Some Costly Perfumes.

Monte Carlo is the place TO get. essence
Of orris, and the only place. When Il wom-
an is caught in that wicked little princi-
pality and feels called 10 explain she can
always say that she camc for a supply Of
orris violet and be believed The price
like everything else, is as high,as the Alps.
A four ounce bottle sells ut - francs, but
one drop on the lace collarctte or revers
will make the whole dress smell like q
violet The violet of Grassc, which be
longs TO Nice, is exquisite and preferred to
Monte Carlo by the people who dctcst the
very mention of the gamblers paradise. IL
has such an affinity for silk that if the dry
stopper is wiped with u ruflr the scent
will cling TO it like roses in Noon 5 vase.
But the violet of violcts is the ajcardi,
found in San Reno which is mentioned
In the gndcbooks and has actually added
to the fame Of the place The scent, a
triple extract, is sold exclusively lit q little
shop below the sidewalk, ut SO a bottle Of
about six ounces. This violet shop is vio-
let scented and bottle walled, and buyers
come from all the courts and gay cities OF
Europe. No lover of violet scent will over
know the truo scent of yiolets until she
goes TO san Reno with IL francs TO spare
To use one drop of it is to- feel n fine con-
tempt for all other perfumes. York
World
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-08-16
Hard on the Cats.

a private English gentleman lives on the
outskirts of that sacred inCsosure-the pre-
serves. 1t happens that there are a good
many rats in the neighborhCod of his house,
80 IL is necessary 20 have eats in order tc
keep them down. These cats have n strange
way of disappearing one after another. IL
Is OF course easy enough to replace them,
but still it is very annoying TO have to do 50
continually, especially To lovers of cats.
The neighbors account for'their removal by
unanimously ascribing it to'the gamekeep
tr. This official seems a very civil and do
cent fellow personally, 50, the aggrieved
housekeeper accosts him, and asks him
pointblank whether he c;insaccount for the
disappearance, mot to | at too fine point
upon it," IA Mr.. MicaSber would say
which means Of course whether he has not
shot the animals. The yamekeeper makes
no attempt to repel the soft Impeachment,
but very candidly replies:
well, sir, you see l''Ika servant. have
my orders, and I've got to.obey them"
But are you aware, keeper, that this is .
penal ofrense"
Dare say it is, SRA butVthat's my or
lers."
"Who from:'
why, the squire, youeknow,, of courser
The discussion tlnls tar inmates distinct
~ I'm favor of the gansl<,s per. because the
squire j., - before, "a m lgistrTlte and by
virtue ot uniting thetwo functions in his
pwn person he can aliord 20 defy the law
with impuuity aud 20 have inis own way.
there As in fact. na rem sdy at ,au.-Wsst
NSps.er Revisw.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-08-16
Game Law.

The "open season" for game birds In
the lower peninsula of Michigan Is as
follows:
Woodcock: Aug. ID to Dec. Is.
RULED grouse (partridge) and quail:
Nov. to Dec. 10.
Duck, geese and snipe: Sept. to
Jan'y. /.
No person shall directly or indirectly
sell or expose for sale any quail, wood
cock, or grouse (partridge) in the state
Of Michigan.
Penalty, line from $40 to $50, or jail
not exceeding thirty days.
Violations of the above law should be
reported to Chas. s. Osborn, State
Game and Fish Warden, Sault Ste.
Marie, Mich, who will bring offenders
to justice.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-08-16
An Emective Warming.

Tho train was just ready to start for
Boston vixen detective from Superin.
tcndent Byrucs' Office got on one of the
smoking ears and said, "Be careful,
gentlemen; believe there are q couple
of sharEurs inside.
Good WaciousV' exclaimed very
stylish locking gentleman, preparing to
get out "Id no idea there were such
people here I'm sure | shall get out. q"
Another, who was sitting in a seat
opposite, exclaimed:
Il have largo sum Of money with
NE, and | have no wish to lose it, {"
whcrcppon he, too, got ont,
"All right, gentlemen" tho officer
calmly remarked; they are both gone
now "-Mi.imd j Bloomer in Harlem
Life
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-08-16
NOT ON TIE 6lLLS.
He at His Job, hut Made Sure OF I'll
Girl.

Cifls
An actress who has toured in Eng
land told me tale that thought in
terosting. She said:
In "A play produced in tho provinces
there Is q scene in which the hero strikes
the villain, who sinks away without
seeking 10 defend himself.
Zone night in large manufacturing z
town tho young follow who played tho
deep dyed scoUrdTol remarked to the
leading man before the curtain rose:
" / say, old chap I've got my Gancee
out in front tonight with her father and
mother Now, of course they don t
know anything about our business, and
I'm afraid it would rather hurt me with
them if | received a blow and got away
in the usual cowardly fashion. So, dear
old chap, can't you omit the blow to-
night:
But, my bog, Encouragement viii
fine rlo ? shlliL-s.
Well, III pay the fno.
'Oh, yes. that's all very we'll for
you. But what do get out of it? Moth.
ing but bad name with tho powers
that be.
''Oh, well, I'll give you shillings
extra, or, better yet, you hit me as usu.
al, and III hit back! They'll fno me,
not you, and III give you the . shil-
lings besides. You SEQ how I'm situat-
ed. | shouldn't like tho girl'to mix rae
upwith the character play. Outsiders
are SO funny that way.
$50 the compact was made, and that
night when the hero cried, Sir Daniel
Doopwatcr'--or something of that sort.
base offspring of a noble race. take thatp
Sir Daniel not only took that, but
gave it back with such force that the
pit rose ut him, including his relatives
TO be by marriage, and no walked off
the stage IL triumph.
Il ain sorry to add he lost his situa-
ton, but he gained his point. New
Yorl, Recorder.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-08-16

The satisfactory mounting Of photo.
graphs Is troublesome operation, and
tho following suggestion from con.
uibut0r to The Outlook may be Of assist
anco to 2ma,ows: Il have found q
method ly which a photograph or en-
craving can be mounted on the thinnest
paper without Curling or wrinkling II
the picture is photograph, it should
be irCned out smooth with a hot iron
and then trimmed. Mix little gum
arabic in hot water so as to make q
rather thick Mucilage Place the pic.
ture ca the page il position and mark
just inside the corners Remove the
picture and take some of the mucilage
on ruling pen and draw heavy line
Of mCcilaro from ono point to another,
80 as to make line Of mucilage all
around the place where the picture is to
be, rs soon IS the mucilago is sticky
put the picture in place and bool, over
it to keep it fat When dry, YOU Will
have q smooth mount that will not
curl. 1"
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-08-16
Sulphur Water For the Hair.

Buy an ounce Of flowers of sulphur put
In can with "a quart Of boiling water; use
when cool. AS the water Is taken off moro
may be added to the rosiduum of sulphur
until the water ceases To be inprognatCd
with 1t. The question is asked whether
this may not tend TO bleach the hair, or TO
turn it gray, and how often IL may be ap-
piled. 1t is not generally considered wise
To wet the hair more than once a fortnight
or 81, but this wash was used in certain
case mt least twice week for some months
and has been tried ~ often Us that in other
peculiar instances where the hair fell out
80 rapidly that extreme meas ares seemed
necessary. In no ease known mas IL harmed
the color of the hair In thu iulst or failed
to help Its growth New York World
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-08-16

Hon. Edwin Willis, expires. of the
Agricultural college and ex-Sec'y
of Agriculture, delivered the address
before the graduating class of the
Agricultural college Wednesday, in
which he said that strong, well de-
veloped boys and girls are the best
product of the farm. He said that
farming pays better than any other
pursuit, and that the average farmer
ought to be, and in fact is, happy,
contented man.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-08-16
Religious Notes.
METHODIST CHURCH.

Regular services by the pastor. The
morning subject will be Modern
Ephramites. Evening subject, 1.-The
Garden of Life" Miss Addie McLar-
en- will sing Sunday morning.
PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH.
The subject of the sermon next Sab
bath will be christian JOY" The
pastor will preach. No evening service
BAPTIST CAURCH.
DR.. Brooks will preach on Sunday
morning and w. +. Jones in the even
ing.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-08-16

Free eggs are of great assistance
TO the British farmers. The imports
of eggs into the United Kingdom
during 1894 were worth SlS,427,11s.
With protective tariff upon eggs
most of this money would have been
retained in the British Isles instead
of being sent to France, Germany,
Belgium, Denmark and Russia.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-08-16
Formation OF SILVER MINES.
How Nature Acaumulatcs the Great Store
Of Valuable Orc.


Of valuable Ore.
The process ly which nature forms
her silver mines il very interesting. 1t
must be remembered that the earth s
crust is full of water, which porcolatcs
everywhere through the rocks, making
solutions Of clements obtained from
them. These chemical solutions take AZ
small particle, If the precious metal,
which thcy Ind here and there Some.
times the solutions IN question are hot,
the water having got so far down "a
to be set boiling by the internal heat Of
the globe Thn they rush upward,
picking Up tie bits Of metal as they 20.
Naturally heat assists the performance
Of this operation
Now and then hestrcams thus form.
ed, pclpctuaily flowing hither and thith,
er below thc ground, pass through
cracks or cavities in the rocks, where
they deposit thcir loads Of silver. This
is kept NJ for . great length of time
perhaps thousands Of years-until the
tissure or pocket is filed up. Crannies
pcrmcSting tho stony mass in every di.
recticn may become filled with the pre-.
cioos Io.al, on occasionally "a chamber
may be stored full Of it, as if million
hands were fetching the treasure from
all sides and hiding away future mine
for some lucky ToSpCctor to discover III
another a9e.-I'ittsburg Dispatch.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-08-16
Village Council.

ALMA, MICH, July 30. 1896
The Common Council Of the village of Alma
met on above date. There were present Pres
protein Gargett and trustees Montgel, Glass
and Delavan. Pres Ely and trustees Baker
and Kelly being absent.
Upon motion the minutes of the last meeting
were read and approved.
pom motion the following claims were al
low cd and clerk instructed to issue orders for
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-08-16

The drain on the gold reserve OF
the treasury has commenced, and an
other issue of bonds may yet le
made in preference to calling an ex-
ira session of congress.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-08-16
.Inscul Ennnnnrin.

Joseph Bonap1,o fed to America
after the hundred days and bought a
homo IN Philadelphia, whore no lived
~ winter, and mansion in New Jer
sey, where he passed his Summers. He
was much liked in this country, but
could not mako ZIP his micA to stay
here, SO returned TO Europe, hoping 10
profit by the changes Of government in
France Eo was always disappointed
and found himself an unwelcome guest
in every country save England. lie
finally secured permission to live in
Italy and died il Florence in 1874 -
Exchange.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-08-16

Tho lamp used by Epictctus. the
philo.oi her. eola for 5000 drachma,
soon afer his death, IA the year 16I A. ID.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-08-16

An Inch OF rain" means gallon OF
water spread over "a surface of nearly
two square fc or fail of about 100
tons upon an acre.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1895-12-12
CHRISTMAS rs COMING.

At his time of the year more than
any other. Jersey buyers are focking to
the big New York stores to avail them
selves of the attractive Christmas dis
plays now on show. Prominent among
these stores. and also one especially
handy to residents of Jersey, Is the
large house-fuuudshing establishment of
Cowperthwadt. seven stores together, on
Park Row, near Chatham Square.
This .told reliable" concern. now do
ing business in it's eighty-ninth year. is
stocked full of useful and substantial
Fancy tables and chairs, tasteful rock
ers, pictures, easels. checks and lamps.
in brass and ONYX. rugs. .portieres, cur
tains, desks, easy cha5na. lounges,
divans, ~tabourettes, corner chairs, mir.
roIs, Stoves. ranges, white enanlelled
goods. chiffoniers, bedroom suits. din
Ing room suits. parlOr suits and lots
of other goods are TO be found there.
A person must be very hard. indeed to
please. IL unable to selectSan appropriate
n useful gift from the endless variety
here shown. No extra charges of aGly
kind are made, and the delivery Is of the
quickest. Until Christmas Gowperth-
wait, Chatham Square, New York. will
be open every evening.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1895-12-12
I ENTERTAINED.
Music, supper and Dancing Enjoyed
at ArmOry Hail..

Lafayette Lodge No. 10, Knights of
Pythias, held an entertainment and re-
ception at Armory Hall last night. A
long programme was well rendered and
immensely enjoyed by a large audience.
Mr.. Vermilyea started the ball rolling
with a short address of welcome. Then
each of the artists took pains to see
that the sphere never succeeded in gath
ering moss. Miss Grace Elliot sang some
sweet songs, Miss Jordan and Miss Kate
Elliott each recited acceptably, Mr..
Pitch played the piano. a string trio,
consisting of Messrs. George Ennis. H.
Rehan and Edward Lewis played popular
airs on a mandolin, guitar and either,
Mr.. Fred Peters sang, Mr.. Scott did a
clever dialect speciality, Mr.. Dinscombe
r Tsag Dar Mr. Fra a1a0ss' poi Mlsi pl nsFsaiix yse
mandolin and Mr.. Harry. Russell was a
very funny humorist. The accompanist
for the singers was Mr.. Esterbrook.
Dancing and a supper prolonged the fes-
Among those present were noticed Mr..
and Mrs. James Davis. Mr.. and Mrs.
Robert Elliott. Mr.. and Mrs. James Dun
lap, Mr.. and Mrs. William H. Vail. Mr..
E HaS van Biarcom n MISS Van
mouze, Mr.. and Mrs. William ]. Davis.
M. and Mrs. Metzger, Mr.. Newkirk,
Mt; E Ke55g' M and AND w4fe Mrs ch :1obe J. p Rob.
erts, John r. Scott and wife. Mr.. Arrow
smith, DR.. w. d. Ramsey, District Dep
uty McDonough,- Mr.. Austin, ex-Alder-
mar Anthony Hauck, Frederick Zeug-
Miss Agnes Dunlap, Mr.. and Mrs.
Schrimgeour and Mr.. and Mrs. Weigel.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1895-12-12
AN ARABIAN NIGHTS FAIR.
Ladies of St. Mary's Episcopal
hurch EntnngIe AL Visitors.

st. Agnes, st. Mary's Guilds of the
st. Mary's P. E. Church opened a fair
last night in Commences Hall, Magnolia
avenue, which reminded one of an Arab
ian Nights tale, the hall and booths
were so deliberately decorated. On en-
tering the hall, all that could be seen
was a profusion of flags. banners, shields
and streaners of bunting. The decora-
lions are so thick tina it takes the great
est pains to keep from getting entangled
in them.
The fair is under the supervision of
the Rev. D. w. Warren, pastor of the
church; MI. George Smith, Miss Rachael
Cole and Miss Mary Potterton. The va
rious booths. with the attendants at
each, are as follows:-
Fancy Booth, Red and White Bunting
Miss Carrie Macs, Beatrice Van Zand
and Mrs. H. Reilly.
Candy Booth, Yellow and White Bunt-
ing-Miss Lulu Drew, Miss Lulu Ogden.
Miss Kitty Wright.
Fancy Booth, Red, White and Blue
Miss Minnie Lawson, Miss Hattie Sny-
der, Miss Ida Neblung, Miss Fannie
Newband and Miss Rachael Cole.
Cake Table, Yellow and White Bunting
Miss Bessie Gray, Miss Sara Cole
Supper Table-Mrs. E. Cole, Miss Mary
Patterton.
The fair will be continued this even
ing, and at ten o'clock dancing will be
held. The fair is a financial success.
More than $65 over and above expenses
was taken in last night.