The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1895-07-09
BOSTON NERVE.

| s'0'e"h A' nAbnly hhc Oisy, ucllBnt
full place to live in, a good lively town e
do business in, and an enjoyable place tc
visit.
We have nothing against Boston.
But we are amazed and confounded by
the audacity OF the claim that the chief
charm of Boston is the clarn--tho steamed
clam.
| This claim is set up by no less an
esteemed contemporary than the Boston
/ Advertiser, which furnishes us column
| OF reading on the chief charm OF Boston.
IL reviews the joy inherent in the music
and drama of Boston, the whoIesomeness
of Boston's climate, the beauty of Boston 5
parks, the picturesqueness of Boston's
suburbs, the interest associated with its
historic spots and preserves, and then
throwing these all one side informs us
with fine nerve that Boston's CLANS
steamed clams-are after all the chief
VI ASOolOH. islhltn 10 tnlSs
"Boston's chief charm, according TO
positive testimony of visitors of all ages
ranks, and class, is the succulent clam
steamed and esteemed as il should be.
Before the glorics of the steamed clam the
lrled chicken and the Georgia watermelon
bow PROSTATE, and the statesmen, the
poet, the orator, ana the clergymen each
admits, after having disposed of his 50th,
oOth, or roth steam clam, that the poor
wretch who has lived and died in ignor.
ance OF the indescribable joys of
steamed clans has never really lived, but
has merely gone through the mechanical
motions of existence
"Out in San Francisco they have small
strips OF eoppery-tasting stuff which they
imagine TO be oysters. Over In New York,
they have the un.nviting quahaugs, which
they foolishly imagine TO be "clamsn
The people of Philadelphia, of Baltimore
aud OF Washington think themselves
happy when feasting upon soft-shell
crabs; but all of those dishes are but
apples of the Dead Sea, mere ashes and
clay, beside the dimpled tenderness of
the Duxbury clam, when that treasure OF
the Pactolian sands OF our seashore has
been properly cooked. Kingdoms may
rise and fall, planets may spring into
being and grow cold, but SO long as Bos-
ton has the steamed clam as it now is, all
peoples in other climes must make their
annual pilgrimage hither.'
Humph! Not word about the bean,
mind you. But fine sentiments about the
clam, as IL there were no clans like Bos-
ton clans. Why, bless your provincial
soul, MIR. Advertiser man, you haven't |
the faintest conception OF a clam. Who |
ever heard of anybody making pilgrim |
ages TO Boston TO eat clans? You know |
very well where they make pilgrimages
when they want to eat clans. You know,
but you conceal your knowledge, ron
purpose" You talk about New York and
'an Francisco clans, as if anybody I'm
heir senses ever undertook TO claim any,
hing for the clam OF New York and San
Why didn't you say some
hing about the clans OF Narragansett
BAY? We know why you didn't and you
now, too. You didn't dare mention
hem. But they cannot be ignored. They
1ill survive your omission as they would
lse superior to your criticism, should you
hoose to indulge In criticism They are
ie finest CLAIMS in the universe-we may
Imost say, the only clans worth men,
oning. And the universe knows it.
ilgrimages to Boston to cat CLAIMS.
rsoothl AS well make pilgrimage to
antucket to walk on Macadam streets.
ANS are not the chief charm of Boston.
you so consider them, you but reflect
! your real charms. ]
You have nerve, anyway.
Next thing we know, you will be talking
out Boston oysters, blind to the fact
at on every bill of fare in every hotel ?
d cafe In Boston you quote Providence W
yer oysters as luxury, and charge ten
nts IN order extra for them.