The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-08-24
THE VILLAGE ORACLE:

THE NlLlIAGE ORACLE:
Beneath the weather beaten porch
That shades the village store
He sits at ease an aged man
OF three score years or more.
That ample seat for him is placed
Beside the open door.
His face is very keen and shrewd,
And piercing are his eyes
AS with an air Of prophecy
He scans the cloudy skies.
And children look with awe on him,
For he Is weatherwise.
And jolly farmers riding by
on fragrant loads Of hay
Call out. Good morning. Uncle Dan,"
And. "Will 1t rain today?"
And boys who would a-fshing go
Await what he will say.
"waal. IL the wind should change about
They listen eagerly,
But he Is very slow and calm,
For thus should prophets be
"Mebbe them clouds will bring us rain,
But dunno" says he.
And ever as the seasons come
And as the seasons go
The oracle is asked the signs
OF wind or ram or snow,
And still ne never hesitates
To answer. II dunno"
Cleveland Leader.
wISPS OF WIT:
She-"What fine talker your friend is."
He-"Yes. he inherited It," She--"HOw
so?" He-"His mother was a woman
New York Herald.
There is a good story aflOat of a man
who has 5000 Bank of England note and
makes good income renting II out for
weddings. where It appears as the brides
fathers g.ft.-New York Recorder.
Judge-I can't see what I am to hold
this prisoner for He says he only hit
Prosecutor-"Yes, your honor. but ] was
under the hat at the time" Judge
Mr.. Mann-"And so you have been estab-
llshed In this town for several years. Have
you had many cures?" DIR. Jalap--"No:
but, you see. I've not got along so far as
that yet. I'm only practic.ng just at
present. "-Boston Transcript.
"Only think" exclaimed Henderson, "Of
the many uses to which paper IL now put -
II know" replied Bass. II was at the
was all paper. And II was a fine sub
stantial.look!ng structure. too."-BOston
Transcript.
The Rev. Arthur Mursell tells that dur
Ing time OF great domestic afi.ct.on
SpurgeOn was glad to get a friend TO no
with him for few hours Into the country.
Sometimes he would call for Mr.. Mursell.
"The first time he did s0." adds Mr.. Muir
sell. 81 said will come with you II you
won't talk good to me-" What do you
mean" asked Spurgeon. Mr.. Brock tells
me- ! replied. that when you and he 30
ont into the country and get into a pretty
spot you begin o little prayer meeting: not
that don't like prayer meetings. but that
X would not he natural to me- ] added.
Don't you bother replied Sturgeon, 4
don't throw my Dearls'-and then he
stopped. AN right I replied: ! vii, go
out with you on those tcrms' We then
went to Boxhill. and he talked In the raci-
est way and avoided anything Serious
News Age.
A FIN DE Steele PLAY:
Wel.Known p'aywrIght-"Our fortunes
made. boss. I've just completed the play
what now. ou,ils?" w. X. P-"Hero.
Napoleon: heroine. Trllby. Napoleon.
alarmed at revolt against income tax, IA
about to abd,c,te: Tr.lby's singing OF the
WASHINGTON Post Mnyrch f'res him with
cd by Trilby marriage ceremony performed
by Mgr. Satoii with battle Of Waterloo
raging In the background After the battle
Napoleon determines TO fee with Trilby.
but syeraal. hypnot'yes him into volun-
tebleau: Napoleon Ealing away TO ~.
Helena, Tr.ibv, on shore committing su,-
eide, and LITTLE B.l,sc made ~ for a w.
ing picture angel. looking on from the
louds"-Truth.
This story is told by commercial Arav-
eier of ore Of the local railways In Scot
land which .s faid to he stll q little sha,sv.
1--WE were bornd.nR along" he sad, "at
the rate Of about seven miles an hour,
and the whole train was shaking terr bly,
expected every minute TO see my hores
protruding through my fk.n. Passergcrs
were rolling from one end Of the carriage
tn the other. held on hrm'v TO the arm
Of my seat. Presently we settled down
on, and my teeth didn't chatter. There
wss 4 qu!et-iook.ne man opposite me J
looked up with ghAstly smile. wishing to