Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1895-01-03


sonal life, and the "old maid' was more
or less an object of levity to younger
members of the family and in the neigh
borhood. This was in the days when
girls were expected to marry in their
teens" and when 90 was considered a
dangerous period to reach with no pros
pect of wedding in view.
In those times the outlook for the
spinster was a most hopeless one. She
knit and spun and wove and embroider-
ed, she was her mothers companion,
and she went to church and prayer meet
ing and to toas given by old ladies who
talked of nothing but their domestic
affairs and the gossip about approaching
marriages of younger girls, interspersed
with jests at her single state. She was
sent for to help nurse the sick and to
look after the poor Of the town in COM
pany with the clergyman's wife. and
these dreary duties bounded her hori-
zon.
But all that is greatly changed by the
progress Of the world Girls seldom
marry under 90, and the advance of wo-
man in freedom and independence of ac-
tion has enlarged the horizon Of the
spinster In fact, the name is no longer
used to any extent tits now the ''girl
bachelor" who between % and 35 pur-
sues her art, her profession, her studies
or her fad, and who goes about alone or
in company with other girl bachelors
and enjoys life to it's utmost. This is
the position of the spinster today in cit
les and the larger towns, and through
her independence, her enjoyment Of her
opportunities, her culture and power of
pleasing she is exempt from the ridi-
oule and pity which fell to her lot in
days Of yoIe.
But the environed spinster still exists
in smaller towns. and it is to her I
would speak or those who surround her
in the position of parents or relatives.
Almost invariably the parents or rel
atiges of such woman take it for
granted that she is submitting to her
lot cheerfully, and her own pride fos-
ters this delusion. She parties the thrusts
Of her young married friends and de-
clares that she would not change places
with them, pointing out the unhappy or
divorced couples as proof of the desir-
ability of her lot Her parents and rela-
tives listen to all this and fall back on
the conclusion that she is wholly salts
fed with her life, and therefore they
make no effort to brighten her lot or to
occupy her mind. Meanwhile there are
cyclones Of rebellion and tornadoes Of
despair going ON in the girls heart.
She has no profession, and the simple
duties of the home life, which were mere
play when she was a young girl, look
ing forward to an evenings frolic with
her companions, become insupportable
now that they form her only occupation.
There is nothing to do in the evening
unless it is to attend dull card party
Of married people and listen to their
jests about her single state. She carries
a brave front and ready reply, but her
heart is slowly breaking in the mean
time. The undiscerning parents or mar
ried brothers and sisters see the smile
and never dream of the heartache under
it. But they are inexcusably blind and
dull that they do not. Human beings
are but continuation of plant life.
1t is natural for them to have their
time to bud, to flower, to yield fruit. If
circumstances besides these result, a
law of nature has been perverted,
and broken law always brings suffer
ing. Relatives ought to think Of these
things in a natural way and to do all
in their power to brighten and lend va
riety to the life of a girl who sees a
spinsterhood as her inevitable fate. In
stead of making cruel and senseless
jokes on the subjects, they should be
planning some pleasure for her. They
should club together and purchase a
railroad ticket and send her away on
some pleasant visit, or they should aid
her to pursue some line Of study or ac-
complishment which will broaden her
mind and divert her thoughts
But we find them instead sneering or
frowning at any such suggestion of hers
and assuring her that she is too old to
begin to do such things; leave that for
younger people If she wants to make a
visit or take a journey, they ask her
what in the world makes her SO restless
and assure her that she has reached a
time Of life when she ought to be sat
isfed to settle down and keep quiet.
Yet this is the very time of life when
''to settle down and keep quiet" is tor
ture. The woman of natural impulses,
who has the normal craving for home,
love and children of her own, does not
resign these things without a struggle.
Nor is it a struggle in which she can
conquer herself easily or at once 1t is
an ever recarring battle which she must
fight over and over again. To imagine
xI.ot rl.o ,.a,, ba catiefiad with a r1norota.