The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1895-10-03
LAZY MANS COLUMN.
An Article Creates o Dis
turbance.
WILL NOT Be DRAWN OUT YET,
Some Other Matte:s in Which Poetry
Figures, Which You Will do
Well to Read.

l have been approached recently by q
young friend of mine, who correctly sus.
poets iny identity, and urged by him to
make myself known, at least to certain
person who is foaming at the mouth 10
know who am. Should do so, am in.
ciined to think the person in question
would have some regrets for having
soughtso diligently for the hidden treas~
grer." Besides other ingenious plans to
draw me oct, he has given expression to
some very naughty epithets, with sight
draft attached, and l will return his draft
this time, but will honor it at some future
date say when the robbins nest again. I
began this column with purpose in view,
and don't propose to be drawn out lust
yet. When this column has served it's in
tended purpose, and is numbered among
other successes that have gone before,
will LET all my friends, as we'll as foes look
behind the curtain.
AS a rule, all incognito writer's, have
some good purpose IS an undercurrent-
either the promotion of the public vel.
fare the suppression Of bad behavior the
advancement of society or some other
worthy motive may be relied upon
am told that this individual caused
the air to become .ery sultry for few
minutes week before last, when his eye
chaneed to fall upon particular section
Of The Lazy Mans Column, which was de.
void OF Intentional offense He paved the
earth and loaned at the mouth and swore
by all The freaks On the mid" that ven
gesnee sbfSasd be his.
If any man with blood in his eye shouiS
buttonhole you on the streets and demand
if you are the Lazy Man, say no, and say
It quick; for this man has girded up hi.
loins and paws" and swears he can clear
up all the sidewalks in town With my hum.
BILE carcass.
The article that will shorten the lie o.
The Lazy Man, and rob the public OF SC
much delightful reading, came to me in
rather circuitous manner, and / merely
mention this fact in justice to popular
young blonde friend of mine. who is suf>
fering with too much red and feels that
he has to bear the burden of another man s
sins. He having been accused of being re
sponsible Tor the articles debut.
-.
1t is never my desire to wrong anyone
upon the contrary | take great care tc
avoid it, and in this connection permit me
to say to one and all, if any unusuall,
bright, intelligent person with a resource
full mind, feels that the public is on thu
eve of accusing him of being The Lazy
Man, let him or her, as the case may be-
come out N public card, refuting the
allegation instanter. Il would prove yer,
embarrassing to build a reputation for be.
ing as bright as 'The Lazy Man." anG
then not be able to sustain it in all the
common walks OF life. Let all "selfcon.
denned" men come before the public and
make due Acknowledgement of their non.
connection with this column
Decide in your own mind, which is
worse 10 deprive my readers of something
good, or give it to them at the expense Of
very popular beau? Ii you decide the
latter is worse, then skip this paragraph
put it in my letter Tor the benefit of those
who don't agree with you.
The young man, who is at present be.
fore US, until late years, prided himself on
being fine reader OF human nature, thi:
rare gift blended with affabilty and grace,
tul manners, more than aroned for the
absence of personal beauty. FROM tnt
day that he was as big as a minute, he ha,
been a much courted individual. N,
dance, card party, moonlight ride or Other
social gatherings. were complete withou
him. At dances, be led at card parties
he won on moonlight rides, his voice wa,
loudest Though trihe strange it ma
seem, yet it is true, he attributed all thes,
iavors to his understanding of human ma
ture No man was puzzle to him ant
as for women, they were easier understood
than long division-but l am making m,
premises too long happened to lay hi
hat down in q careless place The othe
day. and neatly fastened in the crown O
his hay head cover, found the iolowin,
verses
just what it has cost him to learn tn,
lesson they teach, have promised not /,
tell
What the way to win a woman
1t is not by deepest sighs,
Nor by efforts superhuman,
TO be noble in her eyes