The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-07-27

then proceeded on to the family sitting
room and sat down on the couch with
weight that Jared the chandelier.
Anything wrong, dear?' persisted
Mrs. Bowser, who had dutifully fol-
lowed him up.
Mr.. BOwser united and kicked his
shoes across the room, and holding up
his stockinged feet to her gaze he hoarse-
~ whispered:
''Look there! Holes, Mrs. Bowser-
holes in my socks!'
Eyes, I see 'em, - she calmly replied
''You woke up ten minutes late this
morning, and when heard you rushing
around I wondered if you wouldn't
make some mistake. You see''-
eyes, I see, - he interrupted. 81, see
holes in the heels and toes of these socks
holes which have set me almost crazy
all day long. That's the sort of a house
keeper you are. That s the kind of in
terest you take in your husband s COM
fort and welfare. Nice thing if I'd met
with an accident and been taken to a
hospital; wouldn't it:''
''Where did you get those socks this
morning?'
Where! Where! Why, out of the bag
in the closet, of course. You don't sup
pose went up on the roof looking for
'em, do you, though they might have
been there for all you knew
''Mr. Bowser, 1 put those socks away
three days ago to prevent you from get
ting hold of them until I could look
them over. Why on earth you should go
to all that trouble when you have four
or five pairs in your bureau drawer is
more than l can tell. -
-Four or five pairs IL my bureau
drawer!'' he shouted. 'Neveri Not a
pair, not a sock, not even the heel
of a sock. I looked thare, but nothing
was to be found but an old hairbrush.
IF this house was run Oh system, Mrs.
Bowser; if it wasn't left alone to run
itself, I might find at least one pair of
old socks without wasting half an hours
time to look for them, but I've given up
all hope. Is it any wonder I have corns
and bunions and varicOse veins and rheu-
matisn? Is it any wonder I limp and
hump and halt and go about like man
100 years Old:"
For reply Mrs. BOwser went up stairs
and returned in minute with five pairs
of clean and almost new socks and held
them up for him to look at.
eyes, 1 knowr' he said as he turned
his head away. Probably had 'em IN
der your pillow or hung up to the cell
ing. I'm neither cross eyed nor near
sighted nor an idiot. II those socks had
been in my bureau drawer, I should
have found 'em.
''They were right there, Mr.. Bowser.
You've had that same drawer for the
last ten years, and there's never been a
time when you hadn't clean socks in
it.
''Womanv' cried Mr.. Bowser as he
rose up, "am the head or the foot Of
this establishment? Am your husband
or the man who cuts the grass in the
yard?"
''You are the head of the house and
my husband, - replied Mrs. Bowser.
''Then treat me as such No wife
should dispute her husband. When say
there were no socks in my bureau
drawer, say what I know, and it's not
for you to stand up and talk back. If
that were all-but it isn't! Look at the
way I'm all bumped up like blamed
old camel 1 haven't had my feet On
the ground today
''Your trousers are too short, - said
Mrs Bowser as she stood off and looked
at his ankles.
"Don't 1 know it, and how came they
too short? Yesterday these trousers were
all right; today they have been lifting
me off the earthl I found 'em in the
bag with the socks, suppose -
1.-The matter is that you buckled
up your suspenders too tight. Why
! didn't Won let 'em down."
Yes, why didn't I do this and why
| didn't I do that?" he growled as he
walked back and forth and kicked the
chairs aside. IN give $40, 900 reward
for the arrest and conviction of the fend
who got up in the night and meddled
with my suspenders! But it isn't socks
and suspenders alone, Mrs Bowser-
look at this collar!''
1--we been looking at it, she re-
! piled. 'fYou woke up late, dressed in a
hurry, swallowed your breakfast before
got down, and the fact is you hadn t
half dressed. Your collar wasn't but
toned behind, and as a consequence has
been up around your ears all day. Turn
around here. No; it ism buttoned. -
And why not, Mrs. Bowser-why
not?'' he demanded as he stopped be-
for5 her and drew himself up. lis my
head filled with sawdust? Haven't
enough common sense to button col
lar on? Who got up in the night and
and''-
Nobody got up in the night, but you
got up in the morning, - she said as he
paused to find words to finish his sen
tence. "You must have something be-
hind your shirt bosom to make it puff
out that way. Well, if that isn't just
like you'll