Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-17
TEA-TABLE SALAD.

How quickly a waiter ''tumbles" when
you give him a ''tip."-Richmond Dis
patch
WELL rather: | never go out in them
but / am kodaked dozen times. De
troit Tribune.
Jillson says the greatest sticklers for
form must sometimes bow to the inevita-
bic without having had an Introduction.
Buffalo Courier.
Shelf you are a professed woman
hater, what are you going to marry for!'
He-''So that | can live up to my profess
sion" -Brooklyn Life.
Mrs. McBride-"John, dear, why are
some grocers called green grocers:' Mr.
McBride-"To distinguish them from
cash grocers, darling. "-Vogue.
Il heah they was a good dead OBJ cuttin'
up at yo' las dance, Miss Cindy.' ''Dey
wuzzn't muffin Oh de sort! All de ladies
an gemmen lief dey razzers in de cloak
room Cincinnati Tribune.
-"Cholly didn't have much luck with
with her glances.'' "Then he is in a bad
old flame. New York Press.
NO." said the college professor of
literature, Il haven't read novel in five
years. | am not very fond of scientific
discussions or treatises on physiology or
pathology" Boston Transcript.
Weary Wilie-"Wot do dey mean,
desc novelists, Wen dey say. He was in
means de hero didn't have de price of an
orchester seat. ''-Syracuse Post.
There's no Doubt" said Mr.. Dolan,
''about there bein' wan great advantage
in bein' born in this country" An
phwat's thot?' inquired Mrs. Dolan. 1T
saves yez the proice av a steamship tick
ct over. Washington Star
cook, Ell? 1 suppose, then, there is some
Which You excelY' Applicant 'Indade
there is, mum! All me friends do be say
in that me raw oysters bate the Wur-r-rld.
mum. Buffalo Courier.
that 1 shall be compelled to fine you
$40 and COST "But, your Honor, the
evidence proves that | am innocent" Il
know it, replied the justice, but my
friend, I've got a family to support"'--
Atlanta Constitution.
--"Henry,'' said Mrs. Parvey, ''you
will see to it that from time to time the
room to another"
whats that for?' interposed her nus
band.
Its to keep the girls from wearing
out the carpet in any particular spot =
Washington Star.
a Christmas tree will create more interest
in Sunday school than twenty miracles
possibly could.-Siftings.
-Spacer-"What can [ say in this obit-
uary of Lusher, the bartender?' Liner
| Work in something about his having I,
smile for everybody. Truth.
What did the editor get for his Christ
| isn't he satsfed?'' mo. Now he wants
shirt -Atlanta Constitution.
do look at that huge woman dancing
with Uncle Bob. What is she? "A
| Quakeress?" HIM! rather an Earth
quakeress, I should fancy. London
Punch.
Bobby Jagged four)-"Papa's awful
good Mother-''How do you know,
mornin an papa tissed her an said new
er mindr'-Syracuse Post.
-Preacher-"Every man must some day
settle his account with his Maker, Tail
OFT wish you could impress Mr.. Palmer
with that idea. He hasn't settled with
me 19e a"3He ts soia ae before we We're mar
ried, that | could sit around with my
/ coat off and smoke when | pleased"
Shelves; but you don't please When
you sit around with your coat off and
smoke. ''-Philadelph Inquirer.
TIL bet" remarked Mr.. Jason to his
wife as they sat in the family circle az
the play, ''I'll bet, from the looks of it,
that the dress that there woman in the
box is wearin' is one of them elegant
dresses one-half Off we seed advertised
Yesterday in the papers. '-lndianapolis
Journal.
whats all the excitement?'' asked
the tourist. '"They're lynchin' the gro
ceryman,'' said Rubberneck Bill. "Gang
o. the boys had little railroad specula-
ton on hand and he sold 'em axle grease
an sawdust fer dynamite. Cheatin'
don't go here, podner." Cincinnati
Tribune.
L hear that Miss Roseleaf is going to
leave the church. Do you know why?''
Yes. She helped trim the chancel
Christmas eve and while she was labor
iously lacking up Good Will to Men
Miss Lily White got the minister to pro-
pose. Roseleaf thought it was too under
hand a performance and so she's left the
church. New York World.
Where the Gold Goes.