Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-11-07

~As2 So
Among the prophets of to-day,
Which men are aggrandizing,
The greatest profit, so they say,
Is that called Advertising.
West Union Gazette.
There is a difference between a cold
and the grip. but you VIII not realize
it until you receive the doctors BILL
Truth.
The Wife-How did you come to pro-
pose to me. John? The Husband-I
wanted to be different from other men,
suppose.-Life.
''See here, you impostor, you've beg
ged from me four times in the last ten
days" Huh! Yer amt got no kick;
yer amt gi'me cent.'-Chicago Rec
| ord.
"My rich uncle is dead" "He left
you something, did he not?' yes"
"Good! What did he leave you?' PEN
niless." Pittsburg Chronicle-Tele.
graph.
"Going to live in the country, eh?"
eyes" II suppose the city air doesn't
| agree with your family?" ''Well, city
| airs don't agree with my pocketbook."
Truth.
Merritt-Under the circumstances,
why don't you go West and get di1
vorce? Cobwigger-Because if | had
a divorce I might be fool enough to
marry again.-Life.
'"This is hard world" murmured the
young man. eyes," replied she, lone
doesn't realize how hard it is till one
falls off a bicycle once or twice week"
Washington Star.
Once more the genial candidate,
Both gracious and astute,
Puts up his campaign promises
In packages to suit.
Washington Star.
SMITH see that Jones was at that
dinner the other night. What did he
think Of the speeches? Brown-When
/ saw him he was just going to read
them in morning paper.-BrooklyD
! Life.
II suppose you have forgotten that
you owe me $10," said Phillips, severe
~. "No, I haven't retorted Wilbur.
81 meant to have done so. Give me
| time, old man, and l will.''-Harper's
! Bazaar.
She-My mother is so particular about
the young men go with. He-But she
doesn't object to me- does she? She
Oh, dear, no! She says she knows YOU
are perfectly harmless.-New York
| Herald.
Miss Ingenue Ton yacht)-Is there
really a cable in the ocean? Sailor
| Yes, mum. Miss Ingenue with convic-
| ton, after studying the man at the
wheeD-Then that must be the grip.
| man.-Brooklyn Life.
She--Did you know that Miss Will
| lowsnap has been taking lessons in Del
! sarte? He-Oh, yes; she showed me
| how to sit down the other night. She
She didn't show you how to get up,
did she?-New York Herald
| The girl to her doting father brings
| Her love with fond salute;
| But as time goes on there's change in
things
She brings him lover to boot!
| Judge.
| Ethel Gotrox-Papa, you must let me
| marry Jack. He says he positively
| cannot live without me another day.
| Old Gotrox-This is more serious than
| | thought it was. had no idea he was
| so hard up as that.-New York Herald.
| She-Well, if l can't live on my in
| come, and YOU can't live on yours,
| where would be the advantage in our
marrying? He fhoughtfully)-W
! by putting our incomes together one Of
! us would be able to live, at any rate
| Harlem Life.
'That was very kind Of your uncle
to pay your debts 'Humph! don't
think so. He might have given me the
| money and let me pay 'em." WHAT
difference would that have made?' 'It
would have re-established my credit"
-Harper's Bazaar.
what we need to do" said the new
director, lis to establish a sinking
fund.- ''Humphr' said the old director.
w men you We Deeu III here WHO
longer you'll have more sense. What
we need is fund that can keep it's
head above water."-Harper's Bazaar.
You can trust the man who sings at
his work." said the CHEEKY citizen.
Yes replied Sinnicker; Il wish
some one would persuade the man who
works around my wood pile two or
three nights week to sing loud enough
h