Mississippi leader. (Jackson, Miss.) 1892-1895, 1895-07-16
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

--"Cholly believes in himself thor
oughly," said one girl. Yes" replied
the other; "he's so credulous. Wash.
ington Star.
-Biggs-"Why does Brown always
write his Jokes on such thin paper9'
Diggs-"So the editor can see through
chem, suppose."-Albany Journal.
From Her Standpoint.-He-
do you like my new diamond scarf
pin?" She-"It would look much better
made over into Q ring."-Detroit Free
Press.
First Sojourner-"Doy you always
get your meals on time here?" Second
Sojourner-"Yes, have to till some OF
my friends show up. l'm deucedly glad
to see you. boston Courier.
-Lumleigh-"What makes you think
young Phether Waite is drummer for
q bicycle concernp" Chumleigh-"Any-
body can see that He carries samples
In his head."-N. Y. World.
"A Lively Time. was play
ing whist also last night 1t was the
first meeting of our Young Ladies'
Whist club" He-"I wondered what
made you so hoarse. Harlem Life.
-Helen-'How could you give up
Harry Haussman for Tom Waterman?
You used to think everything OF
Harry" Martha-'I know; but the
theaters are nearly all closed now,
and Tom has such a lovely yacht
Boston Transcript.
Visitor Ito attendant friar In the
refectory of a convent)-"Are we al
lowed to smoke here?" Friar-"No,
SIR" Visitor-"Then where do all
these stumps of cigars come from that
1 see lying about?" Friar-"Fron
those gentlemen who didn't ask"
Tagliche Rundschnu.
Putting Him on His Mettle.-
Doctor said the sick man, who is
painfully shrewd, II haven't dollar
to leave to posterity; not square inch
of real estate, nor a scrap OF personal
| property" II don't quite see how that
concerns me-" II dunno that it does
in particular. Only I was hopin' that
I'd get well right soon SOS to hustle
around and earn money to pay your
bill. Washington Star.
"A New York undertaken, or funeral
director, as the reader may prefer, ad-
| vertised for driver for q hearse, and
among the applicants he selected a
good looking, strong fellow, with a
solemn couutenance, and took him into
his private office. Before employing
you," said the undertaken, II want to
know if you have had any experiences
in this business?'' "Well, l never
drove hearse," admitted the ap-
plicant, 'but I've drove the next thing
to it, and guess I can give you salts
faction" How do you mean? don't
understand" and it was evident from
the undertaker's puzzled look that he
was speaking the truth. why" said
the applicant, with confidence, II drove
a rapid delivery wagon in Philadelphia
for seven years" He got the job.-N.
Y. Sun.
1t was Tennessee Methodist class
| leader who had before him six
months, probationer whom he was
questioning for admission to all the priv
| ileges of the church. well, Sambo,'
said the class leader, II hope You are
prepared to live q Christian life in ac'
cordance with your profession. Have
you stolen any chickens during the
/ last six months?' mo, sahi 1 done
stole no chickens" "Have you stolen
any turkeys or pigs?" Sambo looked
grieved. mo, sah!" 81 am very glad
to hear this good report" continued
the class leader" "and trust you will
continue to live an honest, Christian
life." After church Sambo hurried
home with his wife. who bad overheard
the catechising. When they were fair
ly out of everybody's hearing he drew
long breath of relief and turned q
self approving glance to his better
half. "Golly," he said, in half-can'
tlous whisper, ''ef he'd er said ducks I'd
ben lost niggah, suah. boston
Budget.