Birmingham age-herald., 1895-07-14
There Are Worlds and Worlds.

Teacher-"Johnny, what is the greatest wonder of the world?"
 Johnny--"De nerve uv It's circulation liar.''
 A. s. L.--"Why are the Philadelphia Sons of the Revolution attempting to prevent the removal of the Liberty bell to Atlanta to be exhibited during the ex- position?"
 before the public, and the only way 1t can be accomplished Is by making unmiti- gated asses of themselves.
 While in the act of>sgning our name to a check for 75 cents on last Wednesday afternoon, the amount being our donation toward replacing the Little Bethel church steeple, which was blown off by the ex- plosion of keg of powder last week, we heard shooting near the Cyclone office. Upon looking out of the window we be- held Mrs Fastclip with a brace of smok- ing six-shooters, and much to our sur prise 1t was learned that we were the game she was trying to wing. She banged away at us seven or eight times, and fearing that she might accidentally hit us, we went out and took possession of her guns. She then paraded the town trying to get up a lynching party. claim ing that we grossly insulted her. The fact of the matter is that she sent us a poem last week, which we returned with polite note stating that she didn't know as much about poetry as our devil, and suggested that it would be in her line to take in washing. Some people get angry over very small matters.
 5 In the death of Lying Joe Bungtown loses a citizen who has done more toward the development of the place than any man, woman or child within its borders Joe was as his name indicates liar; a most accomplished and entertaining liar. He made a business of it, and was howling success in his chosen profession. Joe could take the most barren, God forsaken piece of land that ever dis graced the face of the mother earth, and with few well chosen words. convince the stranger that it was the fairest, most fertile spot in the whole universe. That's the way he developed Bungtown. All honor to Joe; long will he live in the memories of those to whom he sold acre after acre of land that never has, and never will produce anything, but cuckle- burrs and red ants. Joe met his death at the bottom of 40 foot well. into which he tumbled 1t an early hour Satur- day morning. If they have any use for first-class real estate hustlers in hell. the devil may well congratulate himself upon securing the services of Lying Joe
 Something has gone wrong with the Cyclones devil. He isn't the same old ink-streaked, happy-go-lucky devil of yore. He spent a solid hour washing his face and hands last Tuesday even z, operation was finished, so great was the change. His face was about as clean as our own. and but for a dark streak which encircled his neck. and refused 10 yaeld to soap. lie might have been mista- ken for a rosy cherub. We sat spell i'd in our chair watching his every move ment After the first startling perform ance he opened a bundle and exposed z to our view brand new white shirt and stand up collar. When he had crawled into the shirt and buttoned on the collar, the dark treak around his neck was effectually concealed, and he might easily have been taken for the walking lad" of a Paris haberdasher When he sailed forth from the office, wearing a red necktie, and leaving be- hind an odor of cologne de rose, we wondered much, and followed him with our eyes as he wended his way down the street to the residence of Colonel Darling, where he disappeared only to reappear within few minutes with the beautiful Miss Darling, Bungtowns most accomplished belle, hanging on his arm Then came dashing team of horses, harnessed to the swellest rig in town. into which MT. Devil assisted Miss Darling. He then sprung in after her, and away they sped to attend big ball over at Snortville.
 When we came down to the Cyclone office Wednesday morning we found thc