The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1895-01-05
STORIES OF PROFESSOR SWING.
Wit and Human Nature In the Man Chi
cagO Thought So Well OF.

cago Thought So Well OF.
A reporter who enjoyed the late
Professor Swings acquaintance met
him early Sunday morning at
the corner of North State and Divi-
sion streets waiting for a al to take
him to Central Music hall. On that
corner is a building, the windows of
which bear the familiar legend,
Family resort" Outside a stairway
leads to a basement, and on the iron
guard rail around it sat Professor
Swing with coattails parted, COM
%placently whiting a piece of wood.
Directly in front of him stood tele-
graph pole braced by a stout iron
rod. 1t had rained the night before,
and water stood in the cutters. A
party of small boys we're tempting a
ducking by swinging from the curb
out round the iron brace and back
again to the other side.
AS the reporter approached Pro
fessor Swing paused in his whiting
and dryly remarked:
I've been watching those boys
swing around that iron rod, and I've
been wondering if l could do it too.
Do you think l could? My name is
Swing, you know, and l guess that
iron is strong enough to hold me-"
The reporter admitted he had no
dea of the minister's athletic pow
ers, but volunteered to try it in ad-
vance He did so and stepped into
the water.
II can beat that anyway, remark
ed Professor Swing, You hold my
knife, and I'll show you"
He took a firm grasp of the rod,
and out into a horizontal position
few his legs and coattails.
There, what did I tell you?:" he
painted as he reached the curb safe
ly. Il often had harder things to do
than that"
Then the "a came along, and Pro-
fessor Swing proceeded to his duties
in the Central church.
One slippery winter morning Pro
fessor Swing was sauntering slowly
along Scott street near his home.
The stone pavement was covered
with ice from the falling sleet, and
pedestrians We're generally choosing
the safer footing of the roadway.
Opposite Professor Swing a woman
who lived i'll the neighborhOOd "a
cautiously picking her way over the
glare of ice. Suddenly the catastro-
phe came, and without warning her
feet flew out, and she came down
hard upon the sidewalk. Professor
Swing paused to satisfy himself that
she was not seriously injured. Then
he remarked:
Mrs. s., l think you are a very
good woman"
Slightly piqued at his remark and
at the same time at her predicament,
she retorted:
"Idon't know why. What do you
meanl"
Scripture has it., gravely replied
Professor Swing, that the wicked
stand in slippery places You seem
to be sitting down"
Another afternoon a reporter met
Professor Swing in n North Side car.
1t was during the grand opera sea-
son.
I'm going to dissipate a little this
afternoon" was his remark I've
been working hard this week, and
feel it my right and privilege"
"What are you going to do?" was
asked.
Il am going to the matinee" he
replied.
80 am l." came the answer.
"Ah, WELL" exclaimed Professor
Swing warmly, but you haven't
seen my girls! What would Lucia
di Lammermoor' be without them
Later the reporter saw the''girls. !"
Early in the first act Professor Swing
walked down the aisle smiling and
happy. Holding his hand on either
side walked two pretty little girls,
both under Is years of age.-Chicago
} Tribune.