St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1895-01-23
THRO' DEDON'S HAT
Came the Dazzling Statistics
Of the Pine Land Com
mittee's Report.
GLITTERING GENERALITIES
Which Look Well on Paper
But Will Not Stand the
Test of Courts.
$4,000 LOSS TO THE STATE
The Net Result of the Investi-
cation as the Case
Stands Today.

Stands Today.
The expected sensation, consequent
upon the publication of the report OF the
pine land investigating committee, has
failed to materialiZe, and the rush for
copies of the report has not yet begun.
The committee evidently expected that
this priceless volume would be the oc-
casion of great trouble, and when it was
found that men were not fighting to Sc
cure first place in the row OF applicants
for copies they were disguSted. As a
matter of fact, 4 dray load OF the res
ports were Iumbled into the Office of the
secretary of state one day last week.
and with the exception of a dozen or so
copies taken by idle reporters and the
number copped out by the committee to
mail to interested parties, the supply
has not been materially diminished.
The report as whole is worse than
the synopsis of it published at the time
OF its SubmIttance TO the governor
worse because there Is more of it. On
its face it Is the greatest economic work
of the century, ana from its investment
of speculative theory it reaps a harvest
of speculative prohts that is positively
appalling. But the trouble is that it is
all on paper. Had it stopped at one
quarter. or better still. at one tenth, OF
what it claimed to have accomplished,
the public would have placed some
scant confidence in its character
as substantial statement of
fact, but 1t has gone so far that it will
rank in literature with nothing short OF
MunchaUsen. There may be few of
the school children who were raised on
the prairie, and VINO never saw pine
tree, who will give some credence to
the marvellous figures, the pOetical Ia
b!es and the astounding claims of the
committee; but any thoughtful man
who ever gave the matter moments
consideration, will see the utterly pre-
p0sterous ~absurdity of The Items in
many cases set down for the edifcation
Of the reader OF this rare work.
As an instance, tD4 c. nmiltee, afte
setting forth in detail and fractional
parts of cent the amounts it pro
poses" to collect for the state, proceeds
TO enumerate few of the things it has
done, between drinks, as it were. Hav-
ing rounded up a total of seventeen
suits, ''in which the
Evidence Is Well Worked Up.s'
to use the language of the report, that
good person, W. 5. Ded0n. the Off
expert witness of the committee. is
turned loose 10 gather few facts rs
foundation for another legislative ap-
preparation and continuance Of
the present committee in its char
liable work.. Evidently the ex-
pert was not hampered in
the work laid out fer him. They Just
took the bride and saddle off and
turned him loose TO Craze in the green
pastures of ficcadilly, with no weights
on MS imagination and no bell punen |
on his pedOmeter. One would naturally |
think that, after working up'' the evil |
dence in seventeen suits. involving
1898, ,094S715, Mir. Dedon would have |
needed a little rest and recreation.
Possibly he did, and possibly the |
"tables,'' which are submitted |
as kind of after thought,
a sort of appetizer between
the sherry and the champagne, !
were compiled while lie was resting in |
his tent on the shore of some beautiful |
lake, surrounded by majestic hills, ro-
antIc scenery and all the other ad- |
juncts necessary to the production of !
symmetrical poem. Of a truth this man |
Dedon hath virtues and gifts that few |
VINO know him WOt Of They don't |
even dream that slowed away under
the shade of that slOuch hat there is a |
brain that would be credit to yoke
of oxen. 1t is true that in the
court this man of genius lost I
his grip for an hour or two, and |
could not rememember where, when or
how ne acquired some OF the alleged
facts which he submitted to the court as
evidence, but he made up for it when he
got back to his camping ground on the
lake shore. and the way he shoYeled up
the statistics for that committee was a
caution to all evil doers. Having de.
voted several days to careful survey
and scale of some fifty sections selected.
presumably, at random, as the report
indicates 10 locality, Mr. DedOn makes
the following statement:
Some Dizzy Figures,
Taken from the land as shown by the
scale of the committee, 70 1883 feet:
reported from the same land to the state
auditor as shown by the surveyors gen.
eral reports, being about 81 per cent of
the amount actually taken. 23,324.I .I13
feet; loss to State through dishonest and
incompetent officials. 90, 749. $40 feet.
Without propOunding any irreverent
as to the competency of
this table 10 knock one silly let the fact
gradually trickle into the mind of the
reader that here is a genius who can get
the odd foot Of 73, 000, 900, ana do 1t with
out turning hair.
But if this is not sufficient. and If
there is yet lingering doubt as to the
divine inspiration upon which these re-
ports are based, just take look at the
next table.
On an estimate of seventy-eight Sec
ions, as above stated, we found that
hey had taken away and removed, 49,
49, 01S feet; amount reported to state
auditors Office from the same sections,
IS shown by the reports of the surveyors
general on file in the Office, 4l.562. .5S5
seet: total shortage on the seventy
eight sections Of 37,969, 433 feet.
Here is a grand total of 152, ,705 ,977 feet
If stray lumber, passing under the pam
)ramic view of this shorthand mathe-
natican in the few hours he has TO
;Dare from his regular duty of ''Work-