davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-05-19
CURRENT HuMoR.

Anyway" said the cornfed phiios-
opher. when the women get into con-
gress you won't hear any more Of that
i pause for a reply chestnut. They
won't pause. No."-IndianapoIis Jour-
nal.
Church fairs are devices to make the
goats pay for the pasturage OF the
sheep.-Ram's Horn.
s Gaggs-Selfmade is a man who thor
oughly believes in himself Waggs-
Then he must be next to an infidel. for
an infidel believes in nothing.-New
York Tribune.
i The new woman hasn't progressed 30
fast that she can spade UP her own
flower garden yet.-Boston Globe.
shopper-Isn't e. rather dear for this?
Saiesman-The price Is f.; that other
ticket Is meant to be kept on when
you make present of the article.-Tid
Bits.
Talking about marvellous memories"
said Wilkes, there was Julius Caesar.
He could repeat 5000 lines of poetry"
mo wonder they killed him." said OAR
row.-Harper's Bazaar.
at don't believe these stories Of starv-
alton and suffering out West" said
Miss Welloph. Surely there must be
asparagus and new tomatoes ana
strawberries in the market out there
by this timer'-Chicago Tribune.
"What 10 the golden mean we hear
about z" asked one small student OF an
other. ut must be . miser," replied the
latter.-Dstroit Free Press.
Wifs-What do you think OF my new
walking dress, Charles? Husband
Should think there was room for quite an
extensive promenade in the sleeves alone.
Boston Transcript.
a. ~~~x snl~ hA- vv1ildonf~looxf =
devil ever saw" he averred, a. they sat
watching . ssBlack Crook" performances.
ssPerhaps," she ventured, ''he 10 only .
| cigarette fiend."-Indianapoli Journal.
The salesman (holding up . vellum-
bound brochure) The price of the book
| 10 $40. Mrs. Nurich-Nonsense! You
can't impose upon me in that way. Why,
q minute ago you offered me q book OF
twice the size for n.50.-Chicago Record.
A large majority of those who think
they need coaxiug really require club
bing.-Milwaukee Journal.
I'm my business, lady, it's impossible
| to get q days work." "You don't say
What's your business ?'' "Pm q night
Waterman. "-Scribner's Magazine.
"Well," said the good natured man, al
the friend of former days left the room,
,I,m 81 ahead on that transaction
"why, he borrowed ST." Eyes, but
thought he was going to ask me for So
! Washington Star.
| Mrs. Blues-Do you have to treat your
1 cook as if she were a member OF the
| family? Mrs. Greys-Goodness, mol We
have to be very kind and polite to her,
It'd Bits.
| There's something always spells our
fun,
| And makes life's journey rough;
The fiend already has begun
To ask, list hot enough?"
| Boston Courier.
The oyster now is out OF date;
| He's getting long and slim;
He's feeling mighty easy for
There are no RS on him.
| Detroit Free Press.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-05-19
CURRENT COMMENT.

According to Susan b. Anthony the
new woman is earnest and lofty. but
the real question is whether she Will
hold pins in her mouth while dressing
the baby.-New York World. y
The Gem of the Antilles. should IT
eventually come into possession OF the
Standard oil monopoly. will doubtless
be known as the Standard isie.-St-
Louis Post-Dispatch.
China is saving quite a number Of
the broken pieces.-New York Record
err. a.
A Colorado gentleman who failed to
agree with the local school board on
the choice of a text book promptly
shot and killed the three members OF
the board. Education Ii making rapid
strides In the bounding West.-Chica-
go News.
A Cincinnati citizen picked up a live
wire and became dead man simultan-
eously. One of them ought not TO be
put under the ground without the 9TH
er.-Chicago Dispatch.
There can be no greater injustice
than a denial of the right to work. and
vet the labor leader seems tofconsider
II the foundation of freedom.-Chicago
Post.
The sugar famine I'm st. Louis will
lead to the consumption of a vast
quantity of straight liquor, which was
intended originally for toddies.-Chica-
go Times-Herald.
The dreadful intimation is current In
some of the papers that Joseph III
Choate. lawyer, Is to be paid for his
services in fighting the Income tax In
the supreme court.-New York Jour
nal ~ s NA9>>~
There are some doubts as to whether
| the Chinese royal family can afford e
| spend much time at a summer resort
| this season.-Washington Star.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-05-19

II may be that the insurrection In
Cuba has grown with tremendous
strides" as is recited IN one Of this
mornings dispatches. yet the chances
of success for the rebels seem highly
improbable. since one must reasonably
conclude that Spain has the ability to
put down a revolution that seems 30
Insignificant
The recurrence of troubles IN Cuba
naturally turns attention to the fact
that the possession OF the island would
be a good thing for the United States.
Indeed. the property ought to have
passed to this country when. in 1s4s. In
President Folks time, the proposition
was to pay one million dollars for the
island. In illustration Of the shifting
of popular opinion 1t IL worth while to
recite that the sentiment which re-
sisted the proposed million-dollar pur-
chase In 1s4s had 90 reversed itself
that, ten years later. the suggestion OF
paying ten millions for Cuba found ia
vor with the American public; and this
sentiment would probably have re-
suited In an actual sale but for one Of
those little incidents that sometimes
prove to be Of momentous account-a
tribe checked. in the senate at Wash
ington. the progress of the discussion
Of the proposed purchase.
It would take q pot of money to buy
Cuba now; perhaps the island would
not be deemed worth the buying by
our government. since the borders OF
the United States are 80 broad. At the
same time. sympathy is quickened
among our own people in behalf Of a
Spanish dependency that has suffered
so much and that will continue to suf.
fer as long as the naughty policy OF
a distant home government is permit.
ted to prevail.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-05-19
The Military Idea.

The press Of Brooklyn is disposed to
criticise the postmaster of that city for
issuing an order requiring letter car
riers to give a military salute to their
superior officers when they meet them.
as IL they were soldiers. There are
eleven people whom the letter carriers
are to regard as their superior off,
GERS, and whom they are TO recognize
by hating. bringing the right hand to
the rim of the cap and then dropping
II in the regulation military style. The
Brooklyn Eagle fears that all this will
result In delaying the delivery OF the
mails. 1t is true that 1t may be ar
gued that 1t not infrequently happens
that carrier has not only his bag and
his pockets full of letters and papers,
but his hands also. and to hunt around
for doorstep or an ash barrel in
which temporarily to deposit his let
tiers will involve loss of time and tenn
per, and possibly mail. But this is
perish and far-fetched criticism. The
carrier, after he has given the salute.
has only to snatch up his letters and
go at double-quick to make up for lost
time: and the picturesQueness of the
whole proceeding will be. theme of
admiration for blocks around.
What we want In this country is
more military discipline and military
style. We need to take a few lessons
from Kaiser William of Germany. and
keep our government employees on
dress parade. Possibly II would be
asking too much for letter carriers to
wear white gloves and carry a gun at
present arms while discharging their
duties in a large city like Brooklyn.
But at least the carrier could be
trained In a few simple maneuvers
with his bag, to be performed as a
complement to the military salute. He
could. say, yank off his bag. whirl IT
three times around his head. toss IL
perpendicularly sixteen feet in the air.
catch It and adjust II on again-ail
with charming military dash. delicacy
and precision. 1t Is true that these
exercises, when performed by a novice,
might be attended with an involuntary
distribution of the contents of the bag
over a considerable extent of territory
but practice makes perfect and there is
no reason why a trained letter carrier
should not be an exact and experienced
juggler. At any rate, the people de-
mand more style and theatrical effect
in the postal service. and the only criti.
cism that may be rightly applied to the
postmaster of Brooklyn is that h,
hasn't gone half far enough.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-05-19

ps. :. Q. WRISTS NERVE AND s1AM gslATx1HT
is sold under positive written guarantees, by
Loss OF Brain and Nerve Power: Lost Manhood;
Quickness: Night Losses; Evil Dreamsi Lack OF
Confidence; Nervousness; Lassitude; all Drains;
sex caused by over-exertion, Youthful Errors. OF
Excessive Use of Tobacco. Opium or LIQUOR.
which leads to Misery. Consumption, Insanity
and Death. BY mail, 81 a box; six for s.; with
written guarantee to cure or refund money.
Sample package. containing five days treatment
with full instructions. % cents. One sample
o-,v snld to each person NV mail.
The Smith Drug Co. Sole Agents. Anaconda
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-05-19

Gus fact in the history Of that state
that q generation ago the legislature
elected James A Bayard and Thomas
II. Bayard. his son. to the United
States senate on the same day, the
father for an unexpired term and the
SON to succeed him Subsequently
when Gov. Cove salisbury contested
the United States senatorship with his
brother Willard. who had already
served twelve years. the legislature
compromised q very bitter political
quarrel by electing another brother
Ell Salisbury. who served three
terms. Now the legislature splits on
the Du Pont brothers. and one Of them
claims to be elected. The Philadelphia
Times notes that they are men Of very
different type. and while the election
of Col H. A. Du Point would have been
a credit to the state. that Of William
Du Pont il not relished by the repub-
leans of Wilmington. because he II In
sympathy with Addicks and his polit-
ical methods.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-05-19

Recorder Con. the man who leaped
into fame and . $4,000 a year Job
through his connection with the Lex
ow investigation. II going for the sin
ners Of the metropolis; with q sharp
stick. One OF New York's laws makes
an attempt at suicide . crime. This
law was permitted to remain . dead
letter until Goff determined to enforce
1t. Two men have been convicted In
his court of the offense Of failing to
commit suicide and severely PUNISHED.
1t will teach them q lesson. and UNI
doubtedly they will make better Job
Of 1t next time. This thing Of trying to
commit suicide In a slip-shod, slovenly
way and making a botch Of the bus
mess must be stopped. Such at least Is
the only reasonable construction that
can be placed on the meaning and in
tent of the New York law.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-05-19

The Presbyterians are having
good time at Pittsburg this week. The
general assembly of the church is In
session in that city. and there are
about 600 delegates. representing 1000
churches and 100000 members. These
figures include the aggregate strength
of the Presbyterian church in this and
in foreign lands. This is the one-hun-
acknowledgements anniversary of the
organization of the church In America.
1t is also the twenty-fifth anniversary
of the reunion of the "old school,
Presbyterians and the new school
Presbyterians. The reconciliation took
place in 1869 at Pittsburg. and the
choice of that city as the place for this
years meeting is therefore peculiarly
appropriate. 1t was in 1887 that the ia
nous split occurred. The brethren had
been wrangling for some time about
points in the Calvinistic doctrine. and
finally agreed to wrangle no more but
10 quit and separate. The two branches
staid apart for thirty-two years before
they adjusted their differences and
kissed and made up. Both sides were
brought to admit that the points OF
disagreement were really too trivial to
be worth quarreling about.
The Presbyterian church Is q splen-
did organization. and the Presbyteri-
ans are most excellent people. They
are still sticklers for doctrine-more
SO perhaps than any other denomina-
ton, unless II be the Baptists-but
they are energetic and enterprising.
they believe In going forth into all the
world and preaching the gospel to
every creature. The missionary depart
ment is one of the most distinctive
features of the church. II raises and
spends nearly a million dollars every
year In foreign fields. There Is an air
of conservativism about the Presby-
terrain church,; IL Is often criticised for
being too set in its orthodox beliefs
and orthodox ways. too impatient OF
anything that suggests the faintesi
faint of heresy. too bitter in its treat
rnent of those OF its clergy who are In.
cIined TO deviate from the straight
and narrow paths of Calvinism
II is hardly within the province OF q
secular newspaper TO discuss the jus
tice or injustice of this criticism But
this much will be universally admit
ed: the Presbyterian church pays
great attention 10 education; Ia
schools and colleges rank among tbs
very best in the world: It's clergymer
are gentlemen Of learning. refinement
piety and patriotism; 1t attracts to it
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-05-19
SUNDAY. MAY 10. 1885.


The financial world has been anxious
to know what President Hill. OF the
Great Northern railroad. went to Eu-
rope for. The theory was that he pro-
posed. II possible. to get control OF the
Northern Pacific railroad. II gossip Is
right Mr.. Willard. formerly OF North
ern Pacific fame. has had In mind the
same conquest that has engaged the
attention of Mr.. Hill.
All sorts of rumors have been cur
rent. This morning a press dispatch
announces that Mr.. Hill has landed on
his return trip. and 1t quotes what he
says regarding his intentions toward
the Northern Pacific. Those who can
make out anything after reading the
interview are good guessers. Evident
Iy, Mr.. Hill can say nothing and say 1t
admirably.
At the same time the printing Of the
interview serves its purpose; 1t let's
people know that Mr.. Hill has made a
flying trip to Europe. There are a good
many people in this country who won
dered what had become OF him and
who began to suspect that he had
gone astray. A clever gentleman is
President Hill. He goes to Europe with
a gripsack as informally as most of
us would cross'a ferry. and when he
comes back he tells New York what he
has done with the result that New
York cannot imagine what he went for
or whether he did what he started out
to do.
Mr. Hills talk TO the New York re-
porters was blind. But along comes a
telegram under Berlin date which is In
evidence of the fact that Mr.. Wizards
aspirations are of no account and that
In the speech of the street, Hill Is
strictly In II. All that is recited in
this mornings news about bonds and
stocks and consols and that sort OF
thing is beyond the comprehension of
most OF US. Yet all of US are able to
grasp the salient fact that a change is
about to be wrought that will throw
out of power the clique that has been
30 long In control Of the Northern Pa
cific's affairs. Surely. there is no harm
In that.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-05-19

Professor Starr. who teaches the
science of anthropology at the Univer-
sity of Chicago, announces that
eventually the American people are
going to bear a close physical resem-
blance to the aboriginal red Indian.
Even now we are informed. the typi-
cal white American tends toward the
ianky. slender figure. the straight hair.
and the high cheek bones of the In
dams. This is especially displayed in
the typical Yankee Of New England
and the Southerner. whose heredity
has not been much affected by inter-
mixture with other races" Nor is that
all. In time Americans VIII probably
lose their white skin and find It re-
placed by cuticle of a copper color.
This may all be true enough. but life
Is too short to worry about II. IL time
ever coppers the American people. II
won't be in our day.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-05-19

SO far as heard from. about all the
republican organs think that Du Pont.
the Delaware claimant. Is entitled TO
a seat in the United States senate.
while the democratic journals seem to
be almost unanimously of the opinion
that ne isn't. One of the curious incl
dents brought out In connection with
the case is that there are two brothers.
II. A. and William Du Pont. and that
the Delaware legislature cast ballots
for both Of them Political honors In
Delaware run in families. 1t is curl
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-05-19
Nervousness

Is only another name for impure
blood, for no person is weak and ner-
yous whose blood is perfectly pure.
When the blood is full Of the germs
of disease, and lacking in the red cor
puscles which give it vitality, when it
fails to properly nourish the organs
and tissues of the body, what can you
expect but that tired feeling and ner-
vousness?
OF course Scrofula, Salt Rheum,
Catarrh and Rheumatism are uni
versally recognized as blood diseases,
for which Hoods Sarsaparilla, as the
best blood purifier, is everywhere
scknowled the greatest remedy.
Therefore, as Hoods Sarsaparilla
cures all blood diseases, it is the best
remedy for that condition of the blood
which causes Nervousness.
1t is a false idea to think you are
curing your nervousness when you
are taking . preparation which only
ouiets your nerves. 1t is like trying to
adrown" your sorrows in the flowing
bowl. They are sure to return.
We wish to make most impressive,
then, this truism:
You cannot purify your blood by
pEApENING or oUIETrNG your nerves
with opiate, narcotic or nerve COM
mounds. Ii you take such articles
Won are only THRILLING with your
troubles. There is SURE to be q REAo-
rroS which win leave you worse than
you were before.
Why NOT then, take the true course,
follow the bee line to the state OF
health. purify your blood and cure
vour Nervousness by taking
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-05-19

membership people OF culture. wealth
and broad intelligence. These certainly
are not evidences OF narrowness and
bigotry.
The Presbyterian church Is q spien-
did force in modern civilization
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-05-19

Notice of stockholders' Meeting.
So:ice is hereby given that q mecsns .,
ssark holders OF the Anaconda Mining company
ss 'ralied for and will be held on Monday. . une
"a Isan. at 10 o'clock a. m. at tue omce.oI sno
company, room 10. futrle block. bes's Vi, ~.
s1orsholaers OF the company the proposition 70
ali All and several the tracts and pieces 2,
property particularly described a. 's srs,,ers
eoneanlrafors and reduc ion works OF SAID com
MANY. and also such other OF said com psnses
nrronerries as shat be decided upon " sno
>socAnoae signed: J. B HAGGrS.
IRWIN c. STUMP.
IA b. Parsons.
,ox.xr Secretary. Trustees
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-05-19

Acting through the blood, Hoods Sarsa
parilia not only cures scrofula, salt
rheum, etc., but gives health and vigor to
the whole body.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1895-09-21
GERARDsTOWN.

From the Times:
We are glad TO see Mrs. A. r.
Potter able to ride out again.
Mr.. Jas. VIM. Brady, assistant
mail messenger, was off service day
or two. having hurt his back by a fall
from hay NOW.
The Union Sunday School at the
Southern Methodist Church has
changed its hour of meeting to $50
a. m.
Miss Ida johnson received very
severe and painful sprain of the RICH,
ankle by fall a few days since.
Goodbye and good wishes to Miss
Martha j. Silver, who went on Mon
day to attend the Nurses Training
School at John Hopkins Hospital, in
Baltimore.
Mr.. George Pofenberger, OF Lu.
ray, visiting the family of Mr.. Sam.
uel Catlett, near Ganotown, was
thrown from horse yesterday after
noon, and had his left arm broken
DR.. Willy, was sent for and rendered
needed attention.
Rev. g. W. White, d. D., of Moore
field, spent last Sunday with his sor
in the village on his way home from
the meeting of the Presbytery al
Round Hill. He preached morning
and night to full congregations, who
enjoyed his practical and impress
i've sermons.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1895-09-21
Troops at the Mines.

PARKERsBURG, W. VA, September
17,-Upon the arrival here this eve
ming of Gov. William McCorkle, he
was handed a telegram from Sheriff
Hineman, of Fayettc county, which
stated that the situation among the
miners Of the Loup Creek region was
becoming very serious, and feared
that troops wuld have to be sen to
to teat point. Col. Thomas E. Hold
ges, of Huntington, who was in the
city tonight, has been sent by Gov
ernor McCorkle to the scene Of the
trouble. A strike has been prevail
ing there for several weeks, and the
owners OF the mines have, it seems,
filed the places of about 1000 of the
striking minesr with other men.
The strikers have been intimidating
the new men and the situation is be-
coming very serious, although Gov
ernor McCorkle says he has the mat
ter in hand, and the troops are ready
to move at moments notice.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1895-09-21
BERKELEY SPRINGS NEWS.
From the Messenger and Neacs:

From the Messenger and NeaCs:
Miss Sue Colston, of Martinsburg,
has been visiting the family ofDr. ],
81. Hunter.
Miss Edith Pendleton and Miss
George while riding their bicycles in
the grove on Tuesday collided and
both were thrown. Fortunately nc
one was hurt.
The bathing receipts are about
$500 less than this time last year.
H. G. Harrison left on Thursday
morning of last week, for visit tc
friends in old Kentucky.
A special term of County Cour,
was called for the 10th, and held on
that day.
George Dyche came home last
Friday from Pen-Mar and has beer
confined TO his bed ever since, threat
ened with typhoid fever. The doc
tor is in hopes OF avoiding the at
tack.
Miss Lille Buzzcfd returned home
last Saturday from Martinsburg
where she has been for the past three
months visiting her uncle John
Compton.
Company D will hold a two days
encampment on the ball grounds
Oct. 18th and 10Th. Everybody
must come to see it.
J. ". Alderton, of Good Hope D.
c., spent Sunday in Berkeley.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1895-09-21

GUARANTEES AGAINST WHEELING
RAIsED.-The small pox scare which
many counties and cities has assumed
toward the city of Wheeling and
which materially interfered with the
travel and trade to, from and with
that city was put to an end on Mon
day by the action of the State Board
of Health through DIR. n. D. Baker,
the Secretary. The following is the
action of the Board.
"Whereas, Upon personal inspec-
ton of the outbreak of small pox in
the city of Wheeling, the disease
was found to be under control, the
cases we'll isolated and guarded day
and night; and.
Whereas, The establishment of
quarantine by one county or town
against another only tends to in
crease the panic among the people,
and unnecessarily obstructs and in
terferes with travel and business, and
as the Board of Health deems quar-
antine against the city of Wheeling
unnecessary; it is therefore
"Ordered, That, by virtue Of the
power conferred upon the State
Board of Health by sections 5, 6 and
I, chapter $50 of the Code Of West
Virginia. all guarantees declared by
local or municipal boards of health
in the counties of Hancock, Brooke,
Marshall, Wet1el, Tyler, Peasants,
Wood, Marion, Upshur, against the
city of Wheeling,are hereby raised.
"Other counties contemplating
this step will first confer with the
secretary of the State Board of Health.
Spy order of
"THE STATE BOARD OF HEALTH,
BY DIR. N. D. BAKER, SECRETARY.