Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-01-24
PlTH AND POINT.

-Teacher-sNow,b boys, if one OF you
were to find something petrified what
age would you attribute to it?" Smart
Boy-s'Stone age."-Harper's Young
People.
en- supported him during his campaign.
II the men didn't. +" Yes; his wife took
in washing and his mother plain sew
ing."-Buffalo Courier.
-"Cholly didn't have much luck with
that Boston girl" mo; she froze him
with her glances." ''Then he's in
bad way?" mo; he was thawed out
by an old flame. Y. Sun.
How could you endure talking SO
long with that ugly old woman with
that frightful costume without laugh
ing in her face?" ''Oh. that's easy. She
is my wife. "-Fliegende Batter.
Have You any idea what the rela-
tions are between Miss Welloff and
young Slimpurse." Ger yes; father
and a mother. Both her parents arc
opposed to him. Buffalo Courier.
Had Been Abroad-"Andi isn't Lake
Como beautifully" Lake Como? Oh,
yes; remember it distinctly now-be-
cause my husband complained so much
that the train was SO slow in passing"
Vogue.
-"Some women can't believe q word
their husbands say" she remarked.
WELL" ccnfided the other, 81 am not
quite SO badly of as that. My husband
talks in his sleep occasionally."-
Washington Star. ~
The Priest-"This man is SO tipsy
he can hardly stand. / can't marry You
to him unless he's in his normal state"
The Bride-"Faith, thin yen have to
hurry, for it's soberin' up he is this
minnit. Life.
-Fenderson-'Evidently my friends
think I'm smart. whatever you may
say. l know that whenever I say
bright thing they remember it for
months" Fogg-"I should think they
might. Boston Transcript.
There's no doubt" said Mr..
Dolan. ''about there bein' wan great
advantage in bein' born in this coun-
try" "An' phwat's thot?" inquired
Mrs. Dolan. 1T saves yez the proice
av a steamship ticket over."-Wash-
ington Star.
-Dillaway-''Talk about your arts.
tocratic descent! Why, my father Of
ten had ten thousand men directly UNI
der him" Caraway-"Ah. A gener-
alp" Dillaway-'Wel, not exactly"
Caraway-'A wholesale contractors"
Dillawav-"No; an aeronaut. Tit.
Bits.
--"Lay off your overcoat, or you
won't feel it when you go out, said the
landlord of a Texas hotel to a newly
arrived guest. THAT'S what / am
afraid of" replied stranger; ''the last
time was here laid off my overcoat
and di"n't feel it when l came out,
and 1 haven't felt it since."-Texas
Siftings.
-"Your account of the concert last
night" said the musician. omitted all
mention of the very thing 1 wanted to
see printed. The violin played, as
was careful to tell your reporter, was q
genuine Stradivarius. and one of the
best even made" THAT'S all right"
said the editor. "When Mr.. Stradi-
varius gets his fiddles advertised in this
paper, it will cost him half a crown .
line. Good morning, Tit-Bits.
Never" she said, haughtily,
''never darken my doors again" He
stood before her humbly and would
have spoken, but she silenced him with
. wave of her bejeweled hand, and
went on: 81 told you in the first place
that wanted them doors painted y
robin's-egg blue, and here you've went
and grained them. I know what I
want and I'm going to have it." Weari-
| ~ he got out his putty knife and sand
paper and began to rectify his error
Buffalo Commercial.