The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1895-09-11
THEAD. SIGNPAINTER
ONE OF THEM RELATES CHAPTERS
FROM HIS EXPERIENCE.


How IIe Managed to Advertise on tho
Walls of Fort Sumtcr-Whcn tho Bees
Objectcd--Let n Farmer BLOW Ills Steam
On-The ObIiging Stenmboatman.
The experience of sign painter ut
Fort Sumter makes diverting story:
"You see, got u darby to take me
over from Charleston i'll ono of those lit
tie boats that they sail down there closer
to tho wind than anything 1 over saw
before. The fort was unoccupied except
by an old soldier, who showed mo all
over the place. Have drink. corporate
said to him after awhile, No objcc-
lions, said he. andwe walked and talk
ed little further. Pretty lonesome
here, ell, sergeant?' Very, indeed, an
swered the old duck, warming to me rs
1 brevetted him u grade higher every
two or three minutes.
'Ah,' said I, it's tough old biz,
the army, amt it. lieutenant?' Faith,
and it is, upon me life, said he.
We'll, 1 brought my flask out again
and pressed it upon him Now, look
here, captain said I, You don't mind
me painting sign around tho old fort,
do you?' Net bit, my son. Paint rs
much as ye Place no answered quite
willingly, and away I went to work,
finishing tho lettering before shutdown
"That- littlc business nearly got me
into trouble, and I left Charleston i'll
hurry. Nearly as bad was the time was
painting OH a beehive. 1 was walking
along tho railway track with my pots
and brushes and saw the hive, which
was i'll Al position, bound to be seen by
everybody i'll the trains. stole ND to it
and slathed OH the paint, taking care
not to make much noise. Buz-z-zl One
little fellow came to look at me, then
another, then another and then score
or more all at once. They didn't seem
to object-in fact, seemed to admire the
richness of the coioring-but i'll Singing
my leg over the top of the hive I upset
my can of turpentine, and not one bee
i'll the crowd would listen to word of
reason. was laid up for week or two
after that, but can't be quiet long. 1t
amt i'll me to DO still I'm an out and
out Yankee, and it warns my heart to
be off with tho paints, and it ain in
cumbent upon me now"
He added this with complacent and
pregnant glance at his massive watch
chain and jeweled sleeve buttons, which
indicated 40 little prosperity.
"When anybody gets his back up mt
me, just let him blow his steam off,
and then talk to him." he continued.
down i'll Maryland one day 1 was
painting fence, and a fellow working
i'll a field near by hollcrcd out: Eli Git
away from that var fence' let on not
to hear him. You git now = the old
man shouted once more, but I dabbcd
and dabbed away us industriously rs
ever You won't, won't yer?' said he,
and then he came for me with pitch
fork i'll his hands. Folks i'll MARYLAND
are generally pretty much i'll earnest
when they are mad, but / didn' move
an inch. He'd have lifted mo like Il
piece Of toast if had, and instead of u
toast it would have been roast for me.
Il looked as mild and innocent as !
could, shaped ont the letters and held
my head back HOW and then as if to
study the effect. Don't YOU like it?'
said l us he got up to me. Well, he met
me with some high seasoned cxpostu-
lations; but, rs l told you, never in
terfcrc with a man when he's blowing
off steam; it isn't safe. The pitchfork
did not look salubrious, but | held to
my work, and as | WAS finishing it he
began to cool OIL and ut the Same time
to take an interest in the sign Got Il
"a " S.ns I No,
uns too, maybe. Yes, said he again.
We'll, now, said I, amt you ashamed
OF yourself to let your temper get the
better of you in this way: Think of the
bad effect on your children But I'll
paint it out. No, leave it on, stranger;
L like 1T, he answered, and we went
over to the house together, which proves
that when mans blowing off it's best
not to sit on the safety valve
Il went up tho Mississippi with old
Captain feathers in the NatchcZ, with
her smokestacks painted crimson to
signify that they would be burned red
hot before she would be passed, and at
tho first landing 1 set to work on all the
rocks. The old captain was immensely
tickled with the idea. Look at the
darned Yank' he cried to tho passen-
gers. How long before you start, cap?'
shouted l. Well wait till you get
through, ho answered, and he did the
same thing at every other landing But
the newspapers have made such an out
cry against the dcsccration Of nature, as
they call it, that law forbdding it
has been passed i'll some Of the states,
and, on the whole, rock painting is dis
couragcd by our patrons, who think it
spoils the sale of their articles. Chi
cago Times Herald.