Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1895-04-18

and the fellow feeling that is born of
misfortune would not allow me to
! turn him away with a gruff word.
| The necessities of the eXigency stimu-
| lated my brain, and, like an inspira-
ton. the way out appeared to me. [
said to him:
eff you want a meal badly enough
to take beating FOR it, my man. you
must want it badly, indeed
Dere amt no doubt of it in my
mind said he.
Well said I, come in. I was Just
going in to have dinner, and you shall
eat with me. | shall soon know
whether or not you are the imposter
| half believe you to be- And l gave
| him a severe look-as though he was
a witness for the opposition, and |
knew he was lying
Fore God, it's my stomach talkin'.
not me- said he. And he followed
me in.
81 went in with the bravest air-the
air that belongs to the young man who
has not tried the world, and who, con-
! sequently, knows it all-and marched
down the length Of the room, the
tramp, like a dog, at my heels At
the very end I found a vacant table,
and there I sat down, putting my
tramp opposite me. The waiter eyed
him with disfavor, but I uttered
rallying All right, WAITER and he laid
out the bill of fare in his best style. I
gave him every prospect of a tip.
Now said I to the tramp, what
do you want to eat? Give the waiter
your order
"'Ef yer'd le' me have a plate of
BEANS he began, but I cut him short
in trice
Beans? Nonsense! You are dining
with me, and you shall have as good a
dinner as l have. You can have beans
some other day. Now, look here. I'm
going to have'-and l picked up the
bill of fare, began with the raw oys-
ters. took soup, fish, game, roast and
every side dish | could see It was
ordering by the card with vengeance.
The waiter stood like one petrified
Shall I duplicate that order for youE
said | to the tramp. He was speech
less, seemed to doubt the very truth
of his existence. All right, waiter;
make it for twO' said I.
while waiting l tried to appear like
q man who was accustomed to such
dinners every day of his life, and by
the time the waiter staggered in with
his tray piled to the shoulder. the
tramp believed he was sitting opposite
a gold mine. | have always observed
that there is a great deal in keeping
up appearance. especially before a
jury-and the tramp was my jury. A
bluff will win a verdict where the cold
ruth of logic fails. The tramp was
under the spell of my bluff.
81 nearly spoiled it all when the din
ner was put on the cloth. I was raven
Gus, and with difficulty kept my fin
gers from insanely grabbing at the
nearest mOrselS of food We filled our
plates, the tramp and I, and began
eating. This, of course, diverted the
tramp's attention from me-fortun-
ately. The poor fellow was half
starved, as he had said, and he ate
as though dinners were far scarcer
than sunrises. So we sat opposite each
other. said never a word, just ate and
ate Occasionally we would pause-he
unable to comprehend the good fortune
that had Overtaken him, I to divert
suspicion of my status from his brain
and stare for moment at each other
over the faSt-lOwering array of food on
the dishes before us; then, without
word. each would fall to again. dig
ging away like piece laborers at our
plates, until finally there was nothing
left on the dishes to be eaten.
'The tramp breathed twice, deeply,
in satisfaction. Then he reached for
his hat and murmureG his humble
thanks.
"'Hold on said I, putting out my
from leaving the table-'hold on! We
are not done yet. There is still the
dessert and coffee and fruit I mean
you shall have a square meal this once
if never again. You've got nothing to
do but eat, and I want you to enjoy
yourself Now for the pastry And
[ ordered several kinds of pies and
buildings, a dish of assorted fruits,
some creams, and black coffee. The
waiter got a helper to clear away the
debris of the heavy dishes, and went
to bring in the light repast. He could
not say word, and perhaps he i'm
agined I was determined to feed him
to death. But he fell to on pies and
buildings like a brave man. For my
self | ate but sparingly: and, after
picking at pudding, I said:
"'Now, my friend, I have got to
leave you. | have an important en-.
gagement 20 fill, and shall have to
abandon the rest of my dinner But
DON'T you be disturbed by that'-for
he was already shutting his feet get
ting ready to sneak out behind me,
as he had Sneaked in. You must stay
and finish your dinner. Eat all you
want Now [ will go out and pay at
the desk, and tell the cashier am pay
ing for you also. She will look back
to see who it is I am paying for, so
you must be on the watch. and when
you see her looking, raise your hand.
so she may make no mistake. Do you
understand
Yes, boss, and tank yer. I never
had so good q feed