The Monticellonian., 1895-03-22
THE MODEL CONFiDANTE.
Some of the Characteristics Which She
 Ought Without Fall to Possess.


 Ought Without Fail to Possess.
 The confdante's lot is not happy one. She may think that it is when she is listening to her friends thrilling tale before the midnight fire, but she soon learns her mistake. When people ask her questions, when she burns with philanthropic desire to pass on her good news or to share her secret, then she feels the misery of her posi- tion. She also finds it embarrassing when she is unable to remember in December what was confded to her in June, and her friend assumes that she recalls 1t perfectly. She has to give just the advice which is desired but if following that advice leads to unfortunate complications, she must assume the blame. She must be inter- ested and sympathetic, and never curi- ous. She needs the wisdom of the sages and the tact of the diplomats, to- gether with the secretive disposition of the Sphinx. Even then she will prob ably make mistake. Only one per son is more to be pitied than the con- fdante, and that is the person who contides. She goes about the world forever afterward convinced that her secrets are in the possession of one who will not guard them properly.
 Nevertheless the custom of confding will continue as long as women let down their hair and unbutton their frocks together. There is something about the act of brushing the hair which invites confidence on the one hand and makes the outpouring of ones soul necessity on the other. As soon as two women take off their street bodices and assume dressing sacques they are bound to be confiden- tial. They feel that there is nothing which should be concealed from the person who has an opportunity to tell whether their seams are bound or merely overcast, and whether their underwaists are trimmed with lace or Hamburg edging.
 There are many things for the wom- an who holds confidential relations with many people to remember. The first one is that it is seldom worth while to make oneself disliked by giv- ing advice or opinions which are con- trary to those desired. At the same time she should bear in mind that she will be held responsible for these opin- ions and counsels till her dying day. She must also resolutely decide to keep silent about what was told her in con- fidence until such time as she learns that the confidential woman has spread her secrets broadcast. It is always likely that the confding persons will do this, and that some other conf- dante will talk. Then every one who knows the stories is released from the seal of secrecy and can talk to her hearts content.
 The confdant must be prepafed to hear the same story frequently, and must display a convenient forgetful- ness if she observes that her friend is in the mood for talking. On the other hand, she must remember even small details most accurately if the confiding one seems to expect that
 The woman who does all these things in such a manner that it satisfies her friend will have her reward She will gain a reputation as an admirable con- tidant, and will then have an opportun- ity to enlarge her knowledge of other peoples private affairs. which is re- ward no woman will scorn