The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-12-20
THE CYCLOPEEDY."
By EUGENE FIELD.


Hav1n' lived next door to the Hobart
place FIR goin' on 80 years, calclate
mat know jest about ez much about
the case ez anybody else now on airth,
exceptin' perhaps it's Of Jcdge Baker.
and he's so plaguey old nd so powerful
feeble that he don't know nothin'.
1t seems that in the spring NV AZ
the year that Cy Watson's oldest boy
wuz drowned in West river-there come
along book agent sellin' volumes
nd tracks FIR the diffusion NV knowl-
edge, nd havin' got the recommend
OF the minister nd NV the select men.
he done an ALFRED big business in our
part Nv the county. His name wuz
Lemuel Higgins, nd he wuz ez likely
"a talker ez | ever heerd, barrin' LAWYER
Conkey, nd everybody allowed that
when Conkey wuz round he talked so
fast that the town pump nd have to be
CREASED every 90 minutes.
One Nv the first Nv our folks that this
Lemuel Higgins struck wuz Leander
Hobart. Leander had jest married one
NV the Peasley girls, nd had moved
into the old homestead on the Plain
lille road-old Deacon Hobart havin'
give up the place to him, the other boys
havin' moved out west Qike lot o
darned fools that they wuz.). Leander
wuz feelin' his oats jest about this
time, nd nuthin wuZ too good FIR him.
Hattie" sez he, 81 guess I'll have
10 lay in few books FIR rcadin' in the
winter time, nd I've a half notion to
subscribe FIR cyclopeedy. Mr.. Higgins
here says they're invalerable in a fam
lily, and that we orter have 'em, bein'
as how we're likely to have the family
Dime by!"
"Lor's sakes, Leander, how you talk"
SEE Hattie, blushin' all over, ez brides
alters does to heern tell NV SIGH things.
Waal, to make long story short,
Leander bargained with Mr.. Higgins
for set Nv them cyclopeedies, nd he
s;%ned his name to a long printed paper
that showed how he agreed to take
cyclopeedy oncet in so often, which
wuz to be as often ez a new one Nv the
volyumes wuz printed. A cyclopeedy
isn't printed all at oncet, because that
would make it cost too much; conse-
kently the man that gets it up has it
strung along fur apart, so as to hit
folks oncet every year or two, and
gin'rally about harvest time. So Le-
ander kind Nv liked the idee, and ne
signed the printed paper nd made his
affidavit to it before Judge Warner.
The fust volyume of the cyclopeedy
stood on a shelf in the old seckretary
in the settin' room about four months
before they had any use FIR it. One
night Squire Turner's son come over
to visit Leander md Hattie, and they got
to talkin' about apples, nd the sort Nv
apples that wuz the best. Leander al
lowed that the Rhode Island greenin'
wuz the best, but Hattie and the Tur
ner boy stuck up f'r the Roxbury rus
set, until at last happy idee struck
Leander, and sez he: well leave it
to the cyclopeedy, b'gosh! Which
ever one the cyclopeedy sea is the best
will settle It'll"
"But you can't find out nothin' bout
Roxbury russets nor Rhode Island
greenin's in our cyclopeedy," seq Hat
tie.
"Why not, I'd like to know" SEE Le-
ander, kind of indignant like.
"'Cause ours haint got down to the
r yet" SEE Hattie. "All ours tells
about is things beginnin' with A."
well, hain't we talkin' about APP
ples?" sez Leander. "You aggervate me
terrible, Hattie, by insistin' on KNOWN
what you don't know nothin' bout"
Leander went to the seckertary and
took down the cyclopeedy md hunted
all through 1t fr Apples, but all he
could find wuz apple - See Pomolo-
ogy."
"How in thunder kin l see Pomolo-
gy," sez Leander, when there amt no
Pomology to see? Col durn a cyclic
pedy, anyhow"
And he put the volume back onto the
the shelf nd never sot eyes onto itagin.
That's the way the thing run f'r
years md years. Leander would've gin
up the plaguey bargain but he could
MT; he had signed printed paper nd
had swore to it afore justice of the
peace. Higgins would have had the
law on him if he had throwed up the
trade.
The most aggervatin' feature Nv it
all wuZ that new one Nv ther cussid
oyclopeedies wuz allus sure to show up
at the wrong time-when Leander wuz
hard up or had jest been afflicted in
some way or other. His barn burnt
down twonights afore the volyume con-
tainin' the letter b arrived, nd Leander
needed all his chink to pay FIR lumber,