Birmingham age-herald., 1895-04-28

took of an adversary when he was on the shoot. He always came up square and though he has never failed to kill his man, he never was known to stay away from the funeral, or fail to help the widow out on any occasion. Let us hope he is all right wherever he has gone, and feels pretty comfortable under the circumstances.
 When the days continue to go by, merging into weeks, weeks rolling into months, months into years and still the old familiar sight of ourself and Miss Bloodgore perambulating along the street with look of bliss upon our child like faces appeareth not again perhaps those who have witnessed the sight so often with sly winks and suggestive mods may wonder and draw false conclusions. So to prevent wrong ideas predomi- mating and utterly false differences being drawn, we shall explain the circum- stances, both in justice to ourselves and the young lady in question, leading up to the shattering of our dreams of the flu ture, wherein we have thought of a snug cottage and yard full of little editors. All true love stories have snake In the grass, and ours was no exception. The scaly reptile who destroyed our hopes, who placed his dark form between the sun of our love and the object thereof Is one Bill Coats, better known as "Coun- terfeit Bill" Unknown to ourself he has for a long time forced his unwelcome at tentions upon Miss Bloodgore. She tried by all peaceable means to give him the shake, but he wasn't made of shakeable material, and still stuck to his job of an moving the lady until last Friday night, when in fit of desperation she took the old mans six shooter and opened fire upon the fleeing would-be lover. And there is where the trouble commences. She fired every blasted bullet in that gun, killing pet dog, taking both ears off tho old mans favorite horse, broke every window within two blocks of her bat tery, but never turned hair on Bill S head. Now, we owe too much to ourself and the community at large to risk our young life by marrying lady who is lia- ble to blow our head off by shooting at something in an entirely different di- rection. So goodbye to loves young dream, which banned out wire-ribbed nightmare.
 The editor of the Cyclone has been asked to become candidate for the of flee of mayor of Bungtown. A delega- tion of our representative citizens dropped in on us Monday morning, and through the chairman, Major Burgin, ad- dressed us as follows: "Honored and es- teemed sir Bungtown needs new may or. Do you want the Job?" There are soul so base as to be imper- vious to the charms of elo- quence. We listened with rapt at tention to the major until the very last words, and are we to blusl. to own that manly tears stood in our eyes and strong emotion shook our sturdy frame? The major has a style peculiar alone to him. self, and this latest effort has covered him with an oratorical effulgence of glory that is good to see. For few min utes we stood unable to utter a word, but when we recovered the editor arose and addressed the delegation as follows: MT Chairman and Fellow Citizens-You bet I do," and took our seat amid wild ap plause. We are no slouch as an orator ourself. A collation. had previously been prepared at the Little Dewdrop and there we escorted the delegation. We put the finishing touches to our mayor alty fences and got home before day.
 "WHISKERS,"
 Managing Editor.