Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-03-14
FUN FROM A PRISON.
The Joliet Crowd Indulge In Restrict
cd Journalism.

The Joliet Crowd Indulge In Restrict
cd Journalism.
Some OF the prisoners Of the State
penitentlary at Joliet edit and publish
n monthly paper called Up To Date.
The January number contains the fol
lowing account Of n difference between
the deputy warden and the prison or
chestra. 1t may be necessary to ex-
plain that Ispen Is an abbrevlation Of
Illinois State penitentlary:
l. Concerning the tribe Of Ispen,
which dwelt in the valley Of the Des
PLANES river
9. And the tribe Of Ispen numbered
1900 souls, and they were in bondage.
3. There was then no king in Ispen--
deputy ruled over the land.
4. And Josephus, the deputy, was u
kindly man-albelt he was mighty
mana man Of great stature and valOr.
B. And 1t came to pass that Josephus,
the deputy, singled out the musical
members of the tribe Of Ispen, and
commanded them to appear before him,
as was the custom in those days.
6. And he gave unto each an instru-
ment-every one after the kind he de-
sired.
7. And he said unto them: "This day
shall ye have new name"
8. And he called them the "Orr-Kess-
Trah," which is the mighty men Of
noise.
8. And the Corr Kess-T rah" was fav-
ored above the rest Of the tribe Of
Ispen.
10. And 1t came to pass that the Corr.
Kess-Trah" became grasping and proud
beyond warrant.
II. And they took counsel among
themselves as to how they should dis
tingulsh themselves from the common
run.
II. And it came to pass that they re-
solved that they were "Samsons," and
their strength was in the hair Of their
heads.
13. And it came to pass that each one
did get his hair cut, each one after his
own fashion.
IA. Now, Josephus, the deputy, albeit
he was kindly man, remarked the
style which the Corr Kess-T rah" took
unto themselves, each one after his own
kind.
10. And he issued a proclamation for
bidding the Corr Kess- Trah" from this
pOmpadour style which was only worn
as mark of high degree in the tribe of
Ispen.
16. Now when the Corr Kess- Trah"
heard this edict they took counsel
among themselves.
II. And it came to pass that they
made for themselves banner on which
was Inscribed mo Pompadour Hair
Cuisine Music"
1S. Now the rest Of the acts Of the
"Orr-Kess- Trah" and all that they did,
and the hair that they lost and the
privileges that they no longer get-Are
they not written in the book Of the
chronicles Of the Deputy?'
Here are some items gathered at ran
dom from the pages of the paper, show
ing that even a prison has its news:
Present population, 1858.
Last consecutive number, 3,95S.
December discharge list, 49,
Fresh fish since last issue, 100.
Received during 1894, 945.
Sent to insane hospital, 2.
Why haven't we got your subscrip-
ton?
The editorial staff of Up To Date
spent Christmas in its usual hilarious
manner, and we wish to remark right
here that it took us all day to spend it,
Three hundred and six visitors pass
ed through the prison in December.
Seven thousand four hundred and
twenty pair socks darned, 500 new
shirts, 1917 pair new drawers and 5S7
new handkerchiefs were made in the
female prison in December.
Try to be kind and civil to your cell
mate-remember he has his own trou-
bles, and no doubt feels that he is just
as much abused as you are.
Quarreling don't pay-yOu don't get
any satisfaction from it, and if it is
kept up it leads to Il row and then the
Hole-so you see the best you can get
is the worst of it.
Don't worry the guard with tales
about any one else-he has his own
troubles.
Up To Date extends an invitation to
all members of the press to drop in and
see us, even if they don't stay as long
as we do.
Special Notice-The editor Of Up To
Date having nearly completed the SEN
tence under which he has been con-
fined here is DESTROYS of securing n po-
sition on some newspaper where he can
enlarge the experience obtained in run
ming this paper.
Unacceptable.
An amusing incident connected with
Handel, the composer, Is told by Doctor