Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-01-03
Let Us An Laugh.


He-May j ask. madam. why you
spurn my suit? She-Becausc II is a
notwithstanding
When woman's face is her fortune,
nine times out of ten she will die pau
per.-Falls Greek Herald.
When man leans toward cremation
he may safely be said to have grave
doubts.-Buffalo Courier.
Be generous to an officeholder whose
Office you want Put yourself In his
place.-New Orleans Picayune.
SCOT even with my wife," "Howw
Smoked the cigars she gave me In the
presence Of her curtains. Detroit
Tribune
Ethei-"And did our boys look nice
Turing the gamer Mamie-"They
were just killingv'-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Courtenay-When you proposed to
Miss Dexter did you get down on your
knees? Barclay-No, couldn't; she
was sitting on them.-Truth.
She (severely)-How many more times
are you going to ask me to marry you?
He (calmly)-How many more times
are you going to refuse me Truth.
Mabel" Sunrise in the Alpsv Why,
It looks about noon time. wonder
where it was paintedY" Hortense (con-
sulting catalogue philadelphia"
Life.
Husband Of Her-"Do you expect me
to marry the whole family" Father
Of Her and Seven Others-"Well, you
are young, you know."-Detroit Trib-
une.
A modern philosopher remarks upon
1t as a wise provision of nature that
a man can neither pat himself on the
back nor kick himself.-Youth's Com
panion.
Teacher-"Why didn't your brother
come to school to-day, johnny" John
ny-"He hurt his foot this mornin' SO
he couldn't hardly walk" Teacher
That's lame excuse. Boston News.
Bacon-"What are you doing with
picture Of football player pinned to
your coat?" Egbert-"Oh, yes! My
wife pinned that there so as to remind
me to have my hair cut."-Yonkers
Statesman.
The response Of certain Frenchman
to handsome woman who complained
that she had discovered three gray
hairs in her head was paradexical, but
pretty. He said: Madam, SO long as
they can be counted they don't count"
-Argonaut.
'Why did you tell the preacher that
you never talked shop on Sunday"
said Spudkins to his friend n coal deal
err. "Ie asked me if l saw the error Of
my weighs" replied the lattcr.-Pitts-
burg Chronicle.
Too gallant by far: Laura, old maid
Ito her neighbor at dinner)-You eat
very little, Mr. Jenkins Jenkins fiat
tered, and wishing to return compl-
ment)-Ah, Miss Laura, to sit b. you
takes ones appetite away.-Truth.
Tom-What sort of a fellow is VIII
Norris? Kitty-You know his brother
Jack? Tom-No; never met him. Kit
ty-Oh. well. VIII is just as different
from him as you can possibly imagine.
Smith, Gray & Co.'S Monthly.
Sympathetic friend--I am sorry to
hear that your marriage with the rich
American heiress is an unhappy one.
Is it on account of her disposition?
Impecunious foreign prince-Yes; her
disposition to handle all her money her
self.--Truth.
81 notice." said the tall, pale girl, with
the high forehead, I" that there is much
progress being made now in photo
graphing the stars" "Oh, yes" an
swered the fluffy girl. "They use them
for cigarette pictures. indianapolis
Journal.
"Well, now" said father Pumpkin,
call this talk about what farmer
ought to raise and ought not to raise is
Jest nonsense. What he wants to do is
to raise the hoe often enough and any
kind of a crop will do well enough
Atlanta Journal.
"One of the hardest things I know
Of" said the young author, sis to get
exactly the right word in the right
place" "Yes,' replied the impecuni-.
Gus friend; take the signature to a
check, for instance. "-Washington
Star.
The New York Weekly has this little
item Of news from the suburbs: "Why
in the world don't you grease that
lawn-mower Of yours? asked lady
Of her next-door neighbours hired man.
"Missis told me not to till you had your
pianer tuned" answered the hired
man.
Actress (angrily)-"Did you write
that criticism which said my imper-
sonation of The Abandoned Wife was
miserable failureT' Critic-"Ye-
yes; you see, you looked SO irresisti-
bly, beautiful that it was impossible to
fancy that any man could abandon
you."-New York Weekly.