Little Falls weekly transcript. (Little Falls, Morrison Co., Minn.) 1894-19??, 1895-10-11

IN
THE ANSWER.
the following interstate correspondence
passed between the gentlemanly proprie-
tors of rival magnetic mud springs, and
by suppressing the names am permit
ted to print them, to show how two
great healers may be called upon to heel
themselves:
EARLY RISING MUD SPRINGS,
n MINERAL FOUNTAINS,
All Different,
Saline, Aphrodisiac, Sulphurous,
Chaly beate, Alkaline,
ELI, NO., Sept. 4.
Mr.. Archie Magruder, Clay Bank Min
eral Springs, Ind:
DEAR SIR-I congratulate you folks
heartily on the proprietorship of the
Clay Bank Mineral Springs. l am sure
it is an excellent institution, but arc you
not little reckless in claiming that you
possess the only magnetic mineral mud
in the country? possess the same kind
of commodity here and claim priority
Of discovery, and Of course superiority
of mud, all Of which am prepared to
prove to your candid satisfaction if you
will give an opportunity. Can't you run
over here some Saturday night and in
vestigate for yourself? Truly yours.
E. B. NUDGE
Then follows the hospitable note be-
low, which, as one may see, breathes
spirit Of chi]dlike humility and modesty
Of the wayside violet style, peculiar to
magnetic mud promoters and press
agents for three ring circus and con-
gress of wild beasts without sin:
CLAY BANK MINERAL SPRINGS, Ind,
Sept. 8.
E. B. Nudge, 81 Mineral Fountains, All
Different, Early Rising Mud Springs,
Eli, Mo-:
DEAR SlR-I have your letter Of Sept.
4. Certainly, claim priority right to the
Magnetic Mineral Mud Baths. l
wouldn't be at all backward if were
you. You already claim that in space
of 80 or 40 acres you have ~ mineral
fountains, all different That's the way
to talk to the unsophisticated American
public, but if you had just gone an inch
or two farther you could very easily
have set up the claim that your springs
were situated in the limits Of the great
city of Chicago and that the property
was very valuable and rapidly selling at
800 a front foot.
personally inspected your outfit, includ-
ing the ~ mineral fountains, all diff
ferent, with a view to purchase. He
didn t buy. That tells the story.
1t is one thing to claim priority rights,
especially in connection with the mag
netic mineral mud, which we say can
only be found at the Clay Bank Mineral
Springs, and we have only one spring
here, and we have only one magnetic
mineral mud, and it is black. Prob
ably if you dig around little you
can get red, white and blue mud.
The Lord only knows what is under the
surface of the ear h, and it has been the
writer's experience that there are lot
of funny things on top Of it, and your
combination OF ~ mineral fountains,
all different, is about the funniest thing
he has struck in a long time, except
yourself, Of course.
7 note your invitation to come over
some Saturday night, and thank you.
By the way, if you ever happen to be
travelling this way in the daytime,
say early in the morning, any day in
the week, Sundays included, come in
and see us, and will entertain you
with magnetic mineral mud bath, etc.
After we get through with you, if you
cannot get over the ground for two or
three hundred miles by walking on one
leg without having any use for the 9TH
er, then Twill say our magnetic mineral
mud baths are no good, and you will be
entitled to the priority rights to the
MAGNETIC mineral mud and all that goes
with it, to say nothing Of the ~ min
eral fountains, all different. Yours
very truly, ARCHIE MAGRUDER.
Here follows q reply by Mr.. Nudge,
in which he breathes spirit of i'll con-
cealed bitterness. with dash Of acri-
mony and angostura on the side:
ELI, Mo-, Sept. ~.
Archie Magruder, Clay Bank Mineral
Springs, Ind:
DEAR SRI have your steamed favor
Of the inst. and lock the door upon q
profitable business for minutes whilst
cheerily reply.
You err certainly in drawing the con-
clusion that desire to have my springs
utilized as real estate speculation. It
I am correctly informed by our bank
here you are no more successful in draw
ing at 80 days than you are in drawing
your conclusions.
The former owner Of these springs