davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning times., 1895-07-07
His Ltkeness 10 a Mummy.

A State street broker said yesterday
to q caller who came in during his busy
hours: you'll have to excuse me to-day
I'm an Egyptian mummy" Then motto
ing the look of amaZement on the face oi
the visitor, he explained: Pressed for
time, you know Boston Record.
The morning times., 1895-07-07
s1o.oo-To Niagara FaIls-sio.oo
and Return.

The B. & o. r. r. viii commence series
of popular excursions to Niagara Falls on
July 8, at rate of SO for the round trip,
tickets being limited for return 10 ten
days from date of sale Special train of
parlor cars and day coaches will leave B.
s o. depot, Washington, at $40 a. M. July
8, running via Philadelphia and the famous
Lebigh Valley route, arriving at Niagara
Falls at IL D. m same day Stop-oyers
returning will be permitted at Rochester,
Geneva, Burdett (Watkins Glen, and Mauch
Chupk
The morning times., 1895-07-07
Btsmerck,s Gold Chessboard

Prince Bismarck was recently the recipi-
ent of handsome present in the shape of
a chessboar rd iniaid with alternate squares
of yellow and mik-white amber laid on
an under surface Of gold. The figures,
which are marvelously carved, are also of
amber, and each minute detail is fault
lcssIv carried out
The morning times., 1895-07-07
Fiftv.Elght Years a Post master

Il Etfty-ElgnE Il ears a IOStildSJeT-
John Datesman, who died at West Milton,
Pa, last week at the age of eighty-five
years, was postmaster of that town for
fifty-eight consecutive years, and was be
lieved to have held office longer, and from
an earlier period, than any other postmaster
He was appointed by President Andrew
Jackson in 1885, and retired in 1898.
The morning times., 1895-07-07
We BEGIN Tomorrow.

10 per cent of all Curtains. Portiere'
and yard goods.
The morning times., 1895-07-07

Our japanese Wash SilEs tNo Rem
Iautsi beautiful colorng sold from
25c TO 35c. sale price. lSc
Our 35 cent Habutai Tap silks. 2ec
Our 65c PIisse sHlls, in Navy, Light
blue Rose stripes sale price, Sc
Our $500 light ground Plisse silks,
handsome designs. oSC
Our 81 .8S Imported PIisse silks, in
Me, Rose, ana Light Blue. sc
Our 3oc Cream japanese silks. 22c
Our sscPnutcd JapanesesnRs, light
grounds. 90
Our soc Printed silks, beautiful
designs q. e.. 55c
our3ec Crepe silks, in Cream. Nile,
Rose, and Canary 1920. $500. 4sc
our5oesaunsuped Duchesse, light
onT59e 5H5Ssi; Plain satin stripes. -. sc
3 pieces Back snk Wool Crcpons,
handsome eEoodsandverydeslrab
usual price S1.45, now. eee
! piece regular price S2.Za. now S4.o0
! pIcc,, each GREY. Black. and Navy
Crepons, sold at 65c- sale price. Sec
Checked Naiuso1ks plain C1lOred
Ducks aud La WIS. DHmltle- etc.
ssch as sold from 3 4 % IL l-2c,
sale price q
All the best makes OF GiTghans IN
Guiding Scotch GinEhams, sCld IS
a.5.-p. .r.s "a remnants &C
india Linen, with woven culoTea de-
signs. imported goods, looks al
most like silk. &C
The morning times., 1895-07-07
Trunks and Travelling
Supplies.
Ladies Underwear De-
Ddrtnent.

Gowns Skirts, Drawers, Chemises
aud Corset Covers: regular value
from 81. Is 10 S2.-5. Sale price......S1 19
Special line OF Gowns. Skirts,
CLemIseS. Drawers and Corset Cow
vers, worth 81 90 to 81 I.4S..............69c
75c Misses Cambrlc Gowns sizes
II. Sale price. e. E. =. ..4Sc.
81 55 Ladies Black Sattecn Skirts.
two rUttles, trimmed with braid. d........S9c.
The morning times., 1895-07-07
S1.25. Excursionto Baltimore $1.25.
yia pennsxlHa MIA Railcnad.

Excursion tickets to Baltimore, satur-
day. July 6. aud Sunday, July 4, rood re-
turning until July 8, $1.25.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-12
A Phenomenon.

Sir Humphreys was alone in his room one
evening attired in a dressing down and a
night-cap, constructed on the ancient conf
cal pattern, with a tassel for the apex, of
which l suppose hardly a specimen could
be found in these degenerate days, says
Blackwood's Magazine. Suddenly he saw
a mysterious light on the ceiling of mis-
room, for which he could not account IN
any way. His scientific zeal was aroused
at once to discover the cause; it must be
a reflected light, perhaps from some celes-
tial phenomenon in the sky. He rushed to
the window and looked out, but all was as
usual in the darkened heavens.
He eXtinguished the lamp thinking that
its flame might have become singularly
polarized on the ceiling; but there was no
change in the circular light over his head
except that it seemed growing brighter
He tried every plan he could think of to
explain it, but IN vain. The great man
was completely puzzled-he stood gazing
upward open-mouthed, while his acute
brain was intent on the mystery. Present
ly, however, he became aware that the re-
ceptacle in which the wise brain was in
closed had Il sensation of unpleasant
warmth, while an odor, apparently due
to the friZzing of hair, was making itself
strongly felt. 1nVoluntarily he snatched
off his nightcap, and then discovered that
he had set fire to the tassel thereof in
bending over the lamp, while engaged in
an experiment, and the strange circle of
light was at once explained, to his no
small Indignation.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-12
A Grating Laugh.

There is never a time for the harsh,
grating laugh that finds amusement in
the mistakes of another. The Detroit
Free Press, admonishing a man in that
town who is disposed to laugh at the err
rors of his acquaintance, writes:
He is a very well educated man, too.
and is especially good in the languages
Not long ago he was talking to a mild
hammered little woman who had asked
him a question about French sentence.
He asked her to repeat it. She did so.
'Ha, ha!' he laughed. "Ha, ha! haw,
haw, haw!' And the little woman
blushed.
What is it?" she asked. much embar-
raised.
"Haw, hawl I-haw, haw-was laugh
ing at your very bad-haw, haw-pronun-
"Haw, haw, haw!' she interrupted, sud
denly 'Haw, haw! ha, ha, ha, har' And
she kept ii up as loud as she could. until
he began to get red in the face and feel
embarrassed.
What is it?'' he exclaimed, when she
gave him the chance.
"Haw. hawr' she responded, uproar-
iosuly. 81 was laughing-haw, hawaii
you very bad-haw, haw-manners-haw,
haw! Good morning" And she turned
her back on him, and hasn't spoken to
him since.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-12
A Great Linguist patned.

The late Prof. stephen J. Young of
Bowdoin was an accomplished linguist.
says the Portland (Me.) Argus. One day
he was on a train bound from Bangor
to Brunswick. when a conductor who
knew him entered his car to ask him to
come out to the second class coach to try
and find out where a. certain stupid for
eigner was going. The conductor had at
tackled him in all the foreign lingo he
could muster, and could get no other re-
Spouse than a stupid stare.
Prof. Young went back to the rear of
the train. The passenger sat there look
ing very much disturbed and bewidered.
The professor went at him in Canadian
French, then in German, then in the Ian
guages of Scandinavia, Egypt. Italy,
Spain and every other country on the
face of this green earth. Still the pas
senger sat mum as an owl" while the
look of beWilderment deepened on his
face. The professor was nonplused. and
was about turning in defeat to his own
car when the man looked YEARLY out of
the window and remarked sadly to him
self:
by gosh. ] wish / wars ter hum.
lie was an AroOstOOk Yankee. and he
. could speak nothing but English -
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-12
Albert Edward., Expensire joke.

Albert Edward Prince Of Wales. is per-
| haps the most popular man in Englani,
says the New York Herald. This popu-
larity is due to his love of sports and
all manly traits, which are particularly
eommendable In the eyes Of the average
Brltlsher. As a youth his audacity and
appreciation OF a Joke, either as a per
petrator or victim, were well known.
one OF his early escapades resulted in
ner majesty the queen footing a bill for
broken crockery and wrecked furniture,
whlch the young prince caused in the
h houses one Of the lesser mem
elderly countess, whose quick tenn
per and sharp tongue drove even her ser
vents away from her, advertised for
HOFFMAN. The prince, TO whose ears tales
OF the peculiarities Of the old lady had
come, resolved TO teach her a lesson. He.
therefore, presented himself in disguise
at her ladyship's house and applied for
the position of fOOtman.
The countess had just finished her break
fast, and, pushing her chair back from
the table, instructed the servant TO bring
before her the applicant The prince was,
therefore, ushered into the room The
countess looked him over from his feet up.
Apparently pleased with the appearance
OF the prince, she said:
Let me see you walk.
Albert Edward did as commanded and
walked backward and forward several
times across the floor from one end of
the room to the other, now walking brisk
" at the request of the old lady and
then pacing slowly as she wished 10 OBJ
tain points on the score.
This performance over, the countess or
dered him to trot. The dining-rOom still
the scene of action. the prince trotted
around it several times. When this eX-
ercise was completed he again came to a
standstill near the head of the table,
where the countess was seated. Her lady
ship seemed pleased, and was just on the
point of asking the young man some ques-
uons about himself, when he shouted:
Now see me gallop!'
Grasping a corner of the table cloth
firmly in one hand, the prince rushed
around the room, pulling the crockery off
on the floor in a heap knocking over the
furniture, and finally winding her lady
ship up in the folds of cloth. He then
bOlted for the door, leaving the countess
sputtering and shouting and the servants
running about in a distracted way TO lib
crate their mistress and quiet her rage.
In the hubbub and confusion the prince
escaped. The next day a check from the
keeper of the priVy purse settled the
amount Of the damages and likewise es-
tablished the identity of the mischief
maker
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-12
The Triple CaII-Down.

There were four of then, as gentle, good
natured, whole-sOuled retailers OF old
wives tales as ever got together in the
smoking compartment OF sleeping car,
says the New York sun. They had all
fed well in the diner and settled down
with the anticipation of enjoying a long
evening OF yarn swapping. They spread
themselves over as many seats OF the
smoker as they could cover, and crowded
into corner large, round-faced, jolly
looking lrlshman, who was enjoying his
after-ulnner cigar Somehow he WASH [
amused by the stories. The narratorS
spread themselves, but they cOuldn't phase
him, and the bored expression on his face
grew in intensity as the stories went on.
The stories We're not funny. once in Il
while there was CLEAN OF humOr, but
for the most part they were just common
place or vulgar. But they seemed lrresist-
IDLY humorous to the FOUR, who pelted
their thighs and wheezed and chorttled
and roared as each in turn finished his
yarn.
At last the big Irishman could endure it
no longer. and ne broke in with
THAT reminds me of the farmer who
caught three boys stealing apples in his
orchard"
The original four turned toward him
with look of eXpectant triumph, ready TO
yell at the first sign of conclusion.
He chased them" went on the Irish
man, and they all ran up a tree. Come
down said the farmer, but they wouldn't
WIN ye come down for once?' asked
the farmer.
We viii not answered the boys.
will We come down for twice.?
I'VE will not
"'Will We come down for three times?'
80 they all came down.
And with that the big Irishman winl1e d
at the only other man in the compartment
who was not of the storytelling crowd.
The yarn SpinnerS laughed uproariously
for second or two and then a light went
up, as the Germans say, and they stopped
suddenly. They looked at one another for
a minute, searching for the point, and
then one said, with yawn and a stretch.
We'll, guess it's bed time. Good night
and the party broke up, wondering.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-12
Personal.

Mr. and Mrs. Stanford had but one son.
and they almost deihed him. The young
man died some years ago when abroad
with his tutor. Everything is preserved
as he left IL when he went away. Among
the play things of his bOyhOOd was a toy
railroad laid across the lawn and through
me shruDbery Of his fathers place AT
one END OF the miniature road is a shed
in which IS still stored the tiny, yet per-
rect, locomotive and cars. The whole
when new cost thousands of dollars.
The recent death in Moscow of State
COuncllor JermakOh deprived the poor
Of RUSSIA OF their most munificent bene-
FACTOR 1t is said that in the past twenty
years Jermakoff gave 5000, coo TO charity.
Hls hrst public act which excited gen
eral attention was the purchase of the
freedom Of all the serfs living in his ma
tive WALLACE. This cost him $4,000. He
came to the rescue Of the poor people
tlIe ana time again when the harVeStS
IalIeu. His funeral was one of the larg-
est ever seen in the old burial place of
the russian czars, thousand Of the poor
OF the capital following the philanthro-
plsts body to the grave.
Able TOlstoi, the son of the famous
Russian novelist, has met misfortune re-
Gently. lie went TO Rome a short time
ago and soon he became one of the sights
OF the city: His photograph was in all
the shop windows and people stopped in
the streets to look at the blond-bearded
bearer OF the great foreign name. He had
visited the Italian capital to announce his
conversion TO the Roman Catholic church,
beheVing that he was called to aid i'm
bringing about the union of the Greek
ana Catholic churches But he was ex-
communicated by the Russian synod. and
then the vatican. for political reasons,
ordered him to leave Rome Tolstoi. how
ever, returned to the capital secretly, and
the vatican, in order TO try his sincerity.
mad him placed in the monastery at Croft
"a terrata. A few days ago however.
the Abee apparently grew tired of his new
surroundings, and escaped to Russia.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-12
BRIGHT BITS.

-Boudoir Badinage-E unice-There's no
marrying or giving in marriage in Heav-
en-.
Madge-Dont take such a hopeless view
or your case.-Life.
Persons of a very fair order OF In
telhgence Will brazenly occupy the piazza
of a summer hotel with books in their
hands which they would apologize for
with feeling of shame in their ow,
homes.-Providence Journal.
Ethel Singleton-But tell me. dear.
does man get really angry every time
ne comes home and finds dinner isn't
Mrs. Benedict (sweetly)-Yes. Just about
as angry as woman gets every time
she has 1t ready and he doesn't come
home.-Puck.
Fashionable Doctor: My dear young
lady you are drinking unfiltered water
which swarms with animal organisms
You should have it boiled-that will kill
them.
His Patient: Wen. doctor, think I'd
sooner be an aquarium than cemetery
Household Words.
-She-Theatrical people would hardly
fancy the advent of that hat and these
sleeves together.
He-But they would be great boon to
the stage.
She-How SOL
He-The stage would have to be eleva-
ted.-Pacific Unitarian.
The editor of a newspaper that has
e'N'Sl,NNN fiAOiiOtAN SPtlliilS' III Il measure.
received a postal card from an old SUB
scriber in the country, which read as fol-
lows u hey TUX your paper for leven
years, but If you kant spell envy bette~
than you have been dom fur the las to
months you may jest stoppit. Tit Bits.
Mrs. Johnsing, what is dem appa-
ratuses you is playing?" asked the tam
DO.
Bones explained the man on the
other end. 1t was with great difficulty
the eminent Chicago detective in the
audience, was dissuaded from making the
arrest then and there. = indianapolis
Journal.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-12

There appears TO be danger OF a con-
hict Of authority between the friends OF
Cuban liberty. 1t viii be remembered
that not long ago an election was held
in this country and elsewhere for a pres
ident Of the Cuban republic. and that
Senior Estrada Palma was declared unan-
imously elected. Yesterdays dispatches
contained the information that at an
election held recently in Cuba Gen. Ma
Geo was elected president. and that a gov
eminent had been set up temporarily at
Camaquey. There cannot, Of course. be
two presidents of the new republic. How
ever the danger is hardly serious. II
the politicians Of the movement place
Cuban liberty above their desire for Office.
Where is Billy Bryan? Has he been
drowned by his own voice?
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-12

The strength of the Spanish army is
nominally l15,0OO men, but London CORE
spondent says the actual strength of the
army is probably 10000 Something like
$1,000 troops have already been sent 10
Cuba, and the dispatches the other day
said Spain would send $4,000 more If they
were needed to put down the rebellion.
II spain does any such thing, it is evident
that she will have TO call out some more
reserves and that even then the Madrid
government will be left with an Inadequate
nome guard IN the face Of conditions that
might under such circumstances result In
an uprising in Spain
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-12

when you've got 4 good thing hold on
70 it; !" that's what everybody says, and itls
good logic, TOO IL applies wonderfully
well TO Simmons Liver Regulator. It's A
good medicine, and there is none better for
the same purpose. For nigh three-quar-
tiers Of a century the people have held on
TO it, Notwithstanding the frauds upon its
good name and sale. It's just as good as
ever, and better when compared with tbe
vile stuff offered you instead. Be sure to
take nothing else instead Of it. It's the
Red 4 you want and must have. Tell
your druggist so. The people are waking
up to the fact that they are being cheated
when they take the various preparations
sold them on the promise that they are lust
as good as Simmons Liver Regulator. and
they are all coming back again TO The Old
Friend. Take nothing else, and you'll live
longer and happier.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-12
lNDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

Meetings-Cunton Lodge No. 81, F. &
A. NJ; German Friendly Society, DeKalb
Lodge No. 9. I. O. o. F.
Special understanding New Under
the Sun, Saline Washing Powder; Three
Square Meals a Day for IS Cents at
Friod's.
Auction sales.-Cigars, Show Cases,
Bic, by c. II. Dorset.
Steamship Schedules-Ocean Steamship
Company; Baltimore Steamship Company.
Hot Weather, Cold Dollars-B. II. Levy
& Bro.
Buy Your Childrens Suits Now, Even
for Next Fall-Falk Clothing Company.
The Last Week-Appel & Schaul
Cheap Column Advertisements-Hel
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent;
For Sale; Lost: Personal; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-12

There is an interesting and lively war
on between the city of Chicago and the
Illinois Central railroad 1t is alleged
that the railroad is abusing its lake front
privileges. and is denying the public the
right of certain landings and dock privi-
leges. A day or two ago one Of the Chi
cago papers had a graphic picture show
ing how a steamboat was forced to land
its passengers with block and tackle. that
being the only way to get cross the rail-
ways tracks
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-12

The mayor of Dallas, Tex, says he
wants the CorbettF itzsimmons prize
fight for his town because it will
attract the leading men of the world and
give these men of capital such an insight
into the the advantages of Texas as
cumstances." There will, indeed, be lead
ing men Of the world-the sporting
world, and bankers-faro bankers-at the
prize fight. But they are leading men
and bankers of the kind that the police
constantly watch. and that every self
respecting city desires to repel rather than
to attract
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-12
The Hon. Lon at COrdeIe.
From the Valdosta (Ga.) Times Oem)

says that the reason LIVINGSTON had so
small a crowd to hear him speak on the af-
ternoOn after Hoke Smith had spoken was
because the visitors had to leave for home
on returning trains This Is a good one.
The train coming south from Cordele left
at 1850 p. m.-three hours after Lon gave
the thing up as a bad job.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-12
Due to the silver Agitation.
From Washington (Ga) Gazette Dem,)

The fall in the value of property in
Wilkes county and other counties has just
been reported by tax assessors. OF course,
this is a great misfortune, but it is largely
marking down There is no general de-
struction of property. Wenever there
comes a fresh report from a Georgia
county, remember that free silver agfta-
ton has been a large factor 10 causing this
mischief and resolve 10 put it down.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-12

Some men Of extraordinary avarice
have lately been operating around VIII
mington. Del. They have been making
counterfeit silver dollars and putting into
them base metal They might make sill
yer dollars as heavy and as fine as those
turned out by the mint, and still clear a
profit Of some forty-seven cents each on
them. But in their greed they wanted to
make fifty or sixty per cent. They are
now in jail.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-12

There is at least one summer girl at
of going rowing without her oars as
without her boomers, and not without
reason. She went out rowing the other
day, and her boat capsized. Her bloom
ers, however, acted as pneumatic life
preservers. and kept her afloat until help
arrived. The much maligned garments
thus score again.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-12
The Calamity HOwIers.
From Cedartown (Ga) Standard Dem)

There are a few men in Georgia so
"dadgasted' mean and so chock full of
pure, unauthorized cussedness, that they
would rejoice at continuance of hard
times. and would block the wheels of pros
might howl themselves into Office on the
calamity racket. But they are mighty
small potatoes and few IN a hill'-and let
US be thankful that they are as little and
few as they are.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-12
Not n Happy Family.
From the Carroll (Ga) Free Press Dem

The populists and free silver demo-
Gratis are not as harmonious as they were
ince the Griffin convention. 1t is old, brok-
en- down politicians that are trying to fas-
ten this populistic doctrine on the demo-
cratic party, but they are going to fail
as completely as they did in trying to pull
the wool over the pops eyes at Griffin.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-12

Up to date it appears that the only re-
suit of the Griffin convention has been
one populist open letter charging that the
thing was conceived in iniquity and
brought forth in fraud.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-12

From the Quitman (Ga) Free Press Dem.,

you, if investing money "as good as gold +"
like to take chances on getting it back
in SOC free silver? You wouldn't, nor are
the people who posses it, going to take
such chances. That's the trouble with
the country now, and that's the way it
will continue TO be until this free silver
talk d!es out
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-12

II seems to be the opinion of some peo-
only correct way to deal with heathens
who kill missionaries is to turn to and
kill lot of the heathens.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-12

There is no longer any ground upon
which to base the claim that there is al
least one gentleman" in the pugilstic
profession. Gentleman Jim" won't go
any more. Corbett may have been a gen
teel young fellow when he was bank
clerk. but since he has become a brulser
he has degenerated into beastly. drunk
en- bar-room brawler. and all that that
term implies. Decency and prize lighting
do not and cannot so together,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-12

Vice President Stevenson is on his way
to Alaska. While there he may tougher
his boom to the frost