The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-02-26
HE TENDED THE FURNACE.
AIr. wigglesworth Thought He Was En-
tireIy Competent.

GAK0Ay &OA4AE%ecsAGs
"Here's the furnace mans bi1l,'' said
Mrs. Wigglesworth meekly as her husband
put her feet over the register and opened
the evening paper.
Mr.. Wigglesworth took the bill impa-
fiently, as a man does when his wife
hands it to him, and glared it over, his
brow darkening. It had been numerous
day for bills.
Its too muchI'' he exclaimed. sFe1-
low comes here in the morning, puts on q
few shovelfuls of coal, shakes the furnace
down, goes away, comes back and does the
same thing at night and charges SO a
month for it. 'S'noutrage, and I WON'T
put up with it. I'll tend the furnace my
self -
''Do-do you think northumberland
it?'' ventured his wife.
''Underst- There, there" returned
Mr.. Wigglesworth pityingly, ''don't be a
fool, Emma" And he smiled that lofty
smile which a man keeps on hand for his
wife.
The next morning he Intercepted the
man, dosed the furnace literally with
coal, gave it good draft and went to The
office. Two hours later boy without any
mittens on his hands blew violently in
with note stating that the house was
burning up. Mr.. Wigglesworth went
home at once. He did not run exactly,
but the recollection of those open and for
gotten drafts struck cold1y to his heart
and spurred him on. That was why he
got there in time to prevent the woodwork
doing anything more than to break out in
large dropsica1 blisters.
''Why didn't ye shut off the drafts?'' he
yelled as he rushed down the cellar stairs.
t'Think I'm bloated bondholder that
can leave business any minute to run
home and tend fires?''
Mrs. Wigglesworth made no reply. She
had been married long enough for that.
Mr.. Wigglesworth snatched open the doors,
scooped in some coal and banged to the
drafts, doing all this with a mans en-
phasis then went back to the office.
When he came home to supper, he found
his wife with her winter cloak en-, and
there was blue cast to her features. The
mercury had concealed itself in the bulb
of the thermometer that hung by the
looking glass and was giving vent to
blood eurdlifg chuck1es.
"Br-r-rl'' cried Mr.. Wigglesworth as he
bulged into the room. What ai1s ye?
Running cold storage plant? Got a con-
tract on hand to ship beef south? Why
don't ye do more and freeze to death?'
"I-I think the fire is OUT" his wife
returned apologetically.
stOut nothing!" snorted Mr.. Wiggles-
worth, charging down the cellar stairs.
But it was, though. Two umpires could
not have declared it more SO. Mr.. Wig
ellsworth didn't come up from the cellar
for q hours, which time he was down on
his knees working with steaming brow
and some mysterious wrenches to oyerturn
the furnace CRATE. People going by and
looking in at the cellar window might
have seen his eyeballs goggling far, far
out into the night. At the end of the first
hour Mrs. Wigglesworth came half way
down the stairs. 1t was just at the mo-
ment when the wrench for the thirtieth
time had slipped off the CRATE bar, taking
with it the last knuckle on Mr.. Wiggles-
worth hand.
Cant I help you, dears" she said
softly
You get up stairsl" screamed Mr.
Wigglesworth, taking his fingers out of
his mouth to make way for the remark,
and his wife understood at once that that
was the thing to do.
By and by he had a fire going and
came on deck for arnica.
II s'pose you'd set here and let fire
walk right out over you," he said, with
fine sarcasm. Didn't appear to know
enough to open draft and save your life. -
81 didn't understand that you wanted
me to help you with the furnace" his
wife answered cooingly as she wound
some more bandages around him.
Mr.. Wigglesworth g eyes glared bale
fully, and there was language on his lips,
but having neglected to open the smoke
pipe he had to rush down stairs again. It
took him some time to find out where the
trouble lay, and he came back coughing,
with his eyes running.
''Why don't ye open a window?'' he
called. WANT US to be asphyxiated, don't
We, and have to be brought to with direc-
In
windows somewhere and let's have some
fresh airl''
Which was done, and when the smoke
went out two cases of incipient pneumo-
MIA came in to take it's place. Mrs. Wig
ellsworth went early to bed, accompanied
by a rubber hot water bottle prepared ex-
pressly for the occasion. Her husband sat
up to nurse the furnace. She never
! learned what hour he came to bed. She
! was dreaming at the moment of being
| afioat in the tropio seas. Beautiful foliage
and flowers gladdened the shores neal
| which she sailed, and anon the soft note
| of the bulbul came, borne on the spicy
breeze that waited warmly from the dis
| tant groves.
| Next morning the man came and built
| new fire. Mr.. Wigglesworth stood gloom
| lily over him watching how it was done
| Then he came up stairs, where gentle
heat was diffusing itself throughout thu
! rooms.
Don't you think his wife began.
Don't you think nothingl' he cried
angrily. you're always whining around
about my economizing with this thing
and that thing, but don't you ever sa!
anything more to me about tending you
! old furnace. You're like all these smar
aleck women who are always snuff1ins
around about the ballot and all then
things, but the next time you've got an!
economizing to do with a furnace yol
take and borrow the money of your Owl
father and do it,
And to this day Mrs. Wigglesworth be
lieves that somehow she was responsible
for it.-W. o. Fuller, Jr., in Rocklant
| Tribune.
Nature and Art Crowding Each Other.