Democratic Northwest and Henry County news. [volume] (Napoleon, O. [Ohio]) 1894-1905, 1895-12-19
WTGGLESWORTH INSISTED.
There Was Ice Cream to Be Frozen. and
He Would Do 1t.

He Would Do It.
The invitation to Mrs. Wigglesworth's
afternoon reception had been out week,
the front parlor was becomingly set of
with asparagus green and the brightness
of autumn leaves, and it looked as II the
thing was going to be one of the incest So
oial events of the season.
"Theyll begin coming at O'clock"
Mrs. Wigglesworth said nj dinner, "and
everything is ready but the ioe cream.
You'll have to send up zpan for that"
"I'd like to know what forp" said Mr..
Wigelesworth.
"Why, to freeze 1T, Of course" explained
his wife. "It's awfully hard work turning
the crank an hour
"Humpr' grumbled Mr.. Wigglesworth,
who held q mans opinions concerning an
afternoon function. Seems to me you
and that hired girl might find time to
twist galvanized iron crank around
few minutes without subjecting me to ex-
ira expense. Want to ruin mes"
CELERY Wigglesworth, returned his
wife severely, "do you think am going
to put on my best dress and freeze ice
cream while the first ladies In town are
arriving every minute and having to be
talked to9''
"B-a-a-h-hf' commented Mr.. WiRgles-
worth. "Where is this freezer? I'll show
you how to make a dollar
| Down in the cellar Mrs. Wigglesworth
had got everything ready. There was the
freezer, borrowed Of neighbor, duly filled
with six quarts Of liquid, and there were
1 ice and salt and other things necessary.
Mr.. Wigglesworth loaded the salt and ice
into the wooden cylinder and gave the
crank a few preliminary revolutions.
Don't see anything the matter with
this, do youf" he asked. Don't knows
you like to have dollar saved. Rather
make folks think you'd spent a fortune
pro bly,"
Merrily twirled the crank, while Mrs.
Wigglesworth crowded in some more
pounded ice.
Regular picnic this is, said Mr.. Wig
ellsworth, "side of the old churn used to
work when was boy. Mother used to
keep me at it all the time. Said that one
good churn deserved another-he, he, hel"
"What did she mean by thatp" Mrs.
Wigglesworth innocently asked.
"What did she mean by thatp" tartly re-
torted Mr.. Wigglesworth, whose muscles
|
mean by anything? Can't you understand
q joke when it's shown to your"
~ don't see any joke in your mother
saying that one good churn deserved an
other" Mrs. Wigglesworth persisted. "If
she had one churn, I should think that
would be nice, but how could it deserve"-
"Y-a-h-hr' snarled Mr.. Wigglesworth,
grinding savagely away, whats the use
to try and have any fun with you? You
couldn't see joke If it was pasted on the
end of the Lick telescope Quit jamming
in that ice!" he shouted as the machine
went trifie harder. "Want to stop the
thing?"
"It amt me, Mrs. Wigglesworth mild
ly rejoined. "It's the cream beginning to
harden.''
"Great lot you know about itp' grum-
bled her husband, pausing to wipe the
perspiration from his brow.
Mrs. Wigglesworth said she must now
go and "dress, - and with few encourage
ing words vanished up the stairs. Mr..
Wigglesworth turned on, pausing now and
then to mop off his forehead and mutter
things to himself
Every man of weak and yielding ma
ture who has allowed himself-once-vo
be bound to the chariot wheels of the ;re
cream freezer can recall with CHASTITY clear
ness how the lemon colored mixture on
the interior of the tin can, after reaching
a certain degree of hardness appears to be
content to remain there. Round and round
spun the handle, Mr.. Wigglesworth paus-
ing at intervals to .gloomily contemplate
the growing blisters on the palms of his
hands.
Overhead he could hear the shutting of
feet as visitors arrived and went stifdy
through the ceremonies ofiintroduction.
ooh, Ellery," hoarsely walled Mrs. Wig
ellsworth, rushing half way down the
stairs, "can't you hurry upf Everybodys
looming, and it's dreadful to give them
only tea, and they are looking around and
wondering what the table Is for with
dishes on 1t and no ice ereami'
"Wha5 you s'pose care2" returned Mr..
Wigglesworth, wanting 30 yell, but forced
to keep his voice under. "Think I've got
Inothing to do but prance around here
Twisting blamed old hand organP You
Ego on back and shake hands with the rest
Eof them false crimp females, Win you, and
IIlet me alone!"
"What is that singular rumbling noiseP"
asked one of the guests little later.
'1-tI don't hear anything" faltered
Mrs. Wigglesworth, forcing distorted
smile into her face.
"Iihear something" said another guest,
% Mllin, little woman, with an inquisitive
nose. clark"
The soomful of ladies CONCEALED into ST.
lenae. There was small need OF Mrs. Wig
gleswOrth,s dissimulation. From beneath
their feet, muff1ed by the carpeted floor,
came a sdrange series of noises, the bur
of machinery, 1t might be, punctuat-
ed by a grunting sound as of railroad
engine getting under way, and now and
then thud like man falling out of a
balloon and alighting on the roof of a
Presbyterian church.
"Burglars!" lucidly cried fat woman
in red dress. "They're boring their way
in through the cellar wallP And she
stood up in chair.
Then, just as everybody was turning
pale and getting ready to talk all at once,
the mixture which for two hours had gone
on making Mr. Wigglesworth madder
suddenly went thick, and the dasher, re-
volving slower, quickly exhausted his re-
manning strength.
"Gash fummux the old thingp' he
yelled, losing all regard for the society
event overhead. "What ails it now'" And
he twitohed the machine sayagely across
the cellar floor. "Why don't you twist
around here, same's you been doing since
tackled you last springi" he beloved, and
he flung it against the granite wall.
"Want to keep me here grinding this old
crank till Christmas, don't youp' And he
knocked down one Of the furnace pipes
with 1t. "But want you to understand -
be howled in finishing blaze Of wrath as
the falling pipe struck his head and emp
ltied load Of sant ON hin-