davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1895-08-29
INDUSTRIAL WORLD.
CURRENT NEWS OF INVENTION
AND DISCOVERY.
A Computing Scale That wni Work
Revolution in the system of weigh
ing as 1t Places Goods Sold directly
Into Money
T Y P f 5 ETTING

T Y p F S ETTTNG
machine W n c h
promises to eclipse
all former efforts by
inventors in this
line is TO pc .iven a
test trial in London
shortly. + a "A e +
Calendoli, a young
Sicili a n m o n k
of the Dominican
order. is the invent
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1895-08-29
This viIe
is Singing

the praises of a
suit of clothes made for her
husband for $50. She helped
pick out the cloth, the but
tons, the lining and gave her
opinion as to what the style
should be. No wonder, then
the clothes were stylish!
There is always something
about my clothes that stamps
a man wearing them as we'll
dressed, and a woman is quick
to see it-quicker than a man.
Come and examine our line
of spring and summer suit
ings. We have a nice selec-
ton. Our prices are as low
as frst-class goods can be
made for and are fa- better
for wear and fit than Cheap
John city houses make.
john JEIDE.
East Of Court House.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12
BRIEF NOTES.

Hose company No. will hold an
oyster supper on the big lot near their
house tomorrow evening.
There Is a big sale of tickets for the
excursion to the Delaware Water Gap,
to be run Sept. 25 by the Oratorio So
ciety.
Chief Of Police Briggs has received
notice OF the theft of three bicycles
from Binghamton. 1t Is thought that
a gang Of professional bicycle thieves
are around.
The Harry Hillman academy will be-
gin its eighteenth year next Tuesday.
The trustees Of the Nanticoke Hook
and Ladder company have called on
ID. T. Richards, bondsman for Conner
d. Lewis, of the Pioneer Fire company,
to pay $80.78. with which Mr. Lewis Is
said to have left town.
A boy named Doran was struck by
an electric car on Halle street last
Tuesday evening and quite seriously
hurt.
The funeral of the late G. M. Ernst
will be held tomorrow with services at
st. Nicholas church.
Mrs. James Campbell. Of South WASH
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12
TODAY'S PARADE,
A Big Demonstration by the City's Fire.
men.

men.
TOday's parade of the firemen OF
Wilkes-Barre and vicinity will be the
biggest parade of its kind seen in this
city for many years.
The route of parade will be: Form
on River street, resting on Union
street. The march will be on River
street from Union to Washington,
down Washington to East Market, out
south side of Square, thence to West
Market, to Franklin, down Franklin
TO Ross, out Ross to Washington. up
Washington to South, thence to Main,
10 Public square, around Public Square
to city hall and disperse.
The starting of the parade will be
announced by two toots OF the fire
gongs and two taps of the court house
bell at p. m. The old volunteers are
asked to meet at 1.30 p. m. at No. Q
engine house. where their apparatus
Will be In waiting for them.
Robert Williams has been elected
chief marshal Of the parade, and his
aids VIII be George l.. Weitzell. ]. d.
Branning. James +. Mack, Fred Turn
err J. A. Finch. II. N. Carpenter, George
d. Kingsley. Frank Innes, Web Clause.
Marshal Of Wilkes-Barre fire depart
ment: Robert Harvey. aids, Ambrose
Constine, Joseph Williams, Hugh
Sharpe. j. N. Montanye, Lewis p. Knif-
fen, Major W. O. Coolbaugh. Fred
kirkendall. Fred Stegmaier, w, A.
O'Malley.
The parade will be received by the
mayor and members of the city coun-
Gil from the city building.
Among the companies which will
participate with be the nine Wilkes
Barre companies, four from Pittston
and the departments of West Pittston,
Edwardsville, Parsons, Plymouth,
Ashley. Kingston. Luzerne Dorrance-
ton. Nanticoke and AvOca A number
OF visitors from Scranton and other
cities are expected to witness the pa
rade ana the test of the new ball nozzle
In which all flremen are Interested.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12
ALDERMAN's QUEER ACTION.
Refuses 10 Accept Bail Offered by
Friend Of q Prisoner.

Yesterday morning Slav APP
peared before Mayor Nichols and asked
advice on "A matter. which. II his side
of the story Is true. places Alderman
Connif. of Georgetown, In a peculiar
light. 1t seems that the alderman COM
mitted John Andraska to Jail on Il
charge of assault and battery which he
never committed. The charge was pre-
ferred by Mary Matzenskai. and from
the evidence II was shown that the lit
tie son of Andraska. aged about years,
was playing with the prosecutors little
daughter recently while his parents
were absent from home, and during a
quarrel which ensued. the girl struck
the boy, who. In return. bit her on the
arm. A lawsuit followed. The squire,
after hearing the testimony, decided
the father was liable for the child's ac-
tions and imposed a fine of $3.50. which
the defendant refused to pay, prefer
ring to give bail for his appearance at
court.
Squire Commit would not accept the
bail offered, though one Of the men
went home and got the deed for his
property. which he offered as evidence
OF his being qualified, and the man was
compelled to go to jail, where he Is
row. The mayor advised the friend to
go see a lawyer, and he left vowing
vengeance on the squire.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12

One of the ordinances passed finally
at the meeting of the council Tuesday
evening was that introduced at pre-
vious meeting and provides for the
employment of policemen during good
behavior. The ordinance is one looked
upon as q most sensible one and Will
doubtless operate to the better eflicien-
cy of the force. Heretofore policemen
We're handicapped in the discharge Of
their duty by fear of dismissal, but
the passage Of THE ordinance referred
to leaves them comparatively safe in
this respect and free to act as their
conscience dictates Heretofore the
entire force has been reappointed at
the beginning of each fiscal year
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12
NICHOLSON.

The Nicholson orchestra, consisting
of DIR. II. X. wilkins coronet; o. d..
Pratt. first violin; o. r. Blakeslee;
second violin; f.. G. Bacon, trombone;
A. j. Shields, tuba; Il. N. Weaver,
plano, played at the wedding of DR..
A. j. Taylor and Miss Cora Wright, Of
Foster, Tuesday evening last.
MISS Grace Crock left for Philadel-
phia and Pittsburg Monday last and
will be gone three or four weeks.
Miss Clara Wilcox returned from
New York Saturday last.
Arthur Weinscheck was the guest Of
Ralph Williams Sunday last.
The Ladies' Aid society of the Uni
versalist church will meet at the home
of Mrs. F.. l.. Bacon, Thursday after
noon. Sept. 12. An invitation is ex-
tended to all.
The funeral of George Walker, who
died so suddenly Saturday last, was
held In the Universalist church Mon
day afternoon. The church was crowd
ed with sympathizinz friends.
Miss Vida Johnson was the guest Of
Miss Ruth Perry, Of Waverly, Sunday
last
Delegates w. s. Billings and ]. NJ.
Carpenter attended the county con-
vention at Tunkhannock Monday last
Mr.. and Mrs. "A. L. Thayer attended
the wedding of DR.. A. j. Taylor and
Miss Cora Wright, of Foster
Leon Boyle is attending school in
Scranton.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12

ington street, fell from a stepladder ON
Tuesday and broke her arm.
The Grant street school building will
not be ready for occupancy before next
Monday.
The gang Of sneak thieves that have
been doing business on the West Side.
have resumed operations In Edwards
Vile.
Checker experts in this city are much
Interested in the coming match be-
tween d. W. Harrison. of Huntington,
and Wright Edgar. Of Wilkes-Barre.
for $50 side.
American Bali Nozzle company. Of New
York. will give practical exhibition of
their great invention on the river bank.
A temporary building will be erected
and then set on fire.
Professor Deans monthly report on
the water used in the city to the city
council last Tuesday was not favor
able.
The city council will take steps to
have the South Washington street
switch taken up at once. as 1t was laid
without permission.
George Watson. aged IA years. was
killed at Inkerman yesterday by beins
run over by a trip of coal cars.
Peter Kllnges. aged IL, son of ID. X.
Klinges. of North Main street, was
drowned In one of the pond holes on
Tuesday afternoon. He was playing on
a raft and fell I'm.
Hugh Boyle and Alice johnson were
married last evening at st. Mary's
church by Rev. Father McAndrews.
Frank Brewick, am old miner. had his
back hurt yesterday by fan of coal
In No. 1 slope, near Nanticoke.
TOday's firemen's parade will be one
Of the largest ever held In this city.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12
ANOCA.

Rev. J. +. Keernan, of Parsons. was
entertained yesterday by Revs. Crane
and McCabe.
william Law was visitor in Arch
bald yesterday.
The borough school board has given
the contract for the erection of the new
school building to Contractor Frye. of
Wilkes-Barre.
Mrs. ii. W. Steever is visiting friends
In Peckvflle.
A meeting of the Epworth league was
held at the Methodist Episcopal church
last evening.
Mr.. Ashley and daughter. Susie, of
Hackettstown. N. j., are spending a
Ing after the interests of the new silk
mill.
The marriage of John ]. HanlOn, OF
this place to Miss Mary Kane, of
PittSton, is announced to take place
at st. Johns church, Pittston, on
Sept. "a.
Frank Austin. formerly Of this place.
now residing at SusQuehanna, Is WIS.,
iting friends here.
Miss Nellie Quinn. Of Pittston, IS the
guest of Miss Nellie Burns.
At a recent meeting of the borough
council. all members being present ex-
cept Councilman Cannon, a tax Of 8
mills on the dollar was levied for the
ensuing year. The treasurer was in
structed to enter liens against all de-
linquents on Pittston avenue. The
amount of corporation tax Is $310.S0;
citizens, $55SS0; total, $S69.lO.
Misses Katie and Maggie McHale are
the guests of Archibald friends.
Mrs. John Higgins. of Clinton. Mass.
Is visiting her mother, Mrs. John
Walsh, of North AvOca.
Mrs. p. ]. Scahill. of Main street, has
returned after visit with her sister,
Mrs. McCarty. of Hawley.
Mr.. and Mrs. Andrew O'Malley, Of
Grove street, are rejoicing over the ar
rival of a young daughter.
Mrs. Frank Ashworth, Of Park City,
Utah. is visiting at the home of her
parents, Mr.. and Mrs. Patrick McKeon,
of Grove street.
Misses Mary Fitzsimmons, Nellie F..
CurIan. Kate Brennan. Alice and Ag-
mes Morahan. Mary Kearney and Lydia
Connor and George Allen attended
The Last Days of Pompeii," at Scran-
ton, last evening.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12
MilkeS=Bappe.

of her disappearance and had a de-
scription Of the girl. Yesterday he was
In West Nanticoke and while passing
through a gypsy camp saw young
girl. whose description corresponded
exactly. He spoke to her and learned
that she was the missing girl. Accord
ingly, he took her to his home and OBJ
tanned a warrant for the gypsies. but
before 1t could be served they had gone.
Lizzie's explana ton of the affair is
not entirely satisfactory. She says
that on the day of her last visit to this
city, she was waiting to take a Pitts
ton car, when she met one of the gyp-
sizes. He told her that he would take
her to the car. and instead of placing
her on the one going to Pittston he took
her to Plymouth. Once getting her into
camp. he informed her that she should
stay there. and II she attempted to run
away, he would have her arrested. The
girl got frightened and fearing i'm
prisonment obeyed him. She says she
had been kindly treated and the utmost
respect shown her. Her brother was
notified at once and he came to this
city, where he met his sister
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12
WHEN HOPE FADED
Mrs White, . Citizen OF Ithaca,
Was Saved.
(From the Ithaca Herald.)

(FrOm the ltnaca heraId.)
Our representative. hearing Of the case
of Mrs. II. T. White. called to see her at
Seneca and Plain streets. We publish their
conversation In the following interview:
"Mrs.- White. 1 hear you have somc-
thing to say about new remedy for back
ache and kidney disorders. VIII you give
me your statement for publications."
Eyes, l am quite satisfied TO do so, I
think the public should know when n
really good remedy is to be had 1t is the
least l can do in gratitude for my recoy.
ery''
"Tell me about your complaint"
"About a year ago ! had the Crime.
and since then my back has pained me
constantly in the region of the kidneys: n
dun pain at times. and at other intervals
sharp, darting pains piercing through me.
were almost unbearable. l seemed to bs
giving out as the pain In my kidneys grew
worse, and at last l had to stay In bed the
greater part of the time. Finally, gave
up altogether. l had terrific headaches.
and suffered SO much pain my appetite
left me-"
"Did the disorder affect the bladder?''
"Finally, It did. The urine was highly
colored, and varied In suppression and ex
cess. l often told my friends believed I
should go insane from the pain. l heard
Of Doans Kidney Pills. and began their
use. After taking them two or three days
I began to feel their good effects. l con-
tinued, and now am perfectly we'll"
"Am l to understand that Doan's Kid
ney Pills have entirely cured you?"
"Yes, that's the truth. l have no more
headaches or pains, and my appetite has
returned. Before using Doan's Kidney
pills l found it very trying to go up and
s,s, 60. oil L,,., \
now l can do SO without n single pain,
feel completely cured, and wish the man.
ufacturers every possible success
For sale by dealers. Price. so cents.
Mailed by Foster NJ ilburn Co. Buffalo N,
Y, Sole Agents for the u. s.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12
A Drilling Contest,

A drilling contest took place yester-
day afternoon in owen ID. Jones yard,
near the Central Railroad of New Jer-
sey depot, in a block of rock. The
contestants were John NJ. Evans and
Henry Francis, and Samuel Miles and
Oliver Tucker for a prize Of s.; time.
fifteen minutes Messrs. Evans and
Francis drilled twenty inches in the
time, and Messrs. Myles and Tucker
fifteen and one-half inches. The con-
test was witnessed by large number
Of rockmen and miners. Richard T.
Edwards was referee.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12
lIa ndsOmc Outfit.

George st. John, of the fire depart
ment, and Robert Williams. chairman
of the fire department committee of the
city council, yesterday tried a hand
some team of blacks which the city in
tends purchasing for use on the new
hose wagon which they are having con-
structed by the firm of Gleason G.
Bailey, of Seneca Falls. The wagon
Is to be painted pure white with gold
trimmings and will cost $675. The
team Is a pair of coal blacks and will
cost about 5000. They showed up splen-
didly in the trial
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12
The Dallas Fair.

1t Is but a short time now till the
Dallas fair will be held. and from
present indications the exhibition will
be a good one. Upwards OF $1,000 are
offered for premiums in the various de-
partments this year. insuring an eX-
cellent display. The catalogues are
now out Should you desire one. drop
q postal to the secretary. j. Harry An
derson, and you will receive 1t by re-
turn mail. The fair begins on Oct.
and ends on Oct 4.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12
Yesterdays Fire.

The fire yesterday afternoon was In
the house Of Jacob Schwab, editor OF
the Wilkes-Barre Sun, on North
Washington street, between Jackson
and North. lit started In the kitchen
roof and was caused by an overheated
stovcpipe. The blaze was readily ex-
tinguished by No. 2 engine, which ar
rived in short order. Several other COM
panics were on the scene, but their SER
vices We're not necessary.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12
The Cut.Off Murdcrcrs.

Judge Lynch yesterday appointed
counsel to defend Nelson Miller and
the other negroes who are charged with
blowing up the shanty on the noun
tain. by which several Hungarians
were killed. The attorneys appointed
were "A. M. Freas. NJ. J. Mulhall Z. A..
iMeixell and b. wv. Davis. Frank Nc
Guigan Will also appear for the de-
fense. having been retained by one Of
the defendants.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12
LIZZIE PERKINS FOUND.
She Is Discovered In n Gypsy Camp and
Sent TO Her Brother,

Lizzie Perkins, the young southern
girl who disappeared 80 suddenly from
her brother. s. +. Perkins. on Aug. q,
has been found and returned to her
brother. 1t will be remembered that
she and her brother came here, as they
travel from town to town, selling small
articles, and one day the girl dis
appeared and all efforts to find her
were futile. Up to yesterday her
whereabouts remained a mystery.
Constable Kulp. OF Nanicoke, heard
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12

(The Tribune has opened branch Of
nee at No. %. Laning building. Pubic
Square, Wilkes-Barre. 1t Is the purpose
of the publishers to issue newspaper as
valuable 10 the general public as the met
ropolitan dailies. and deliver 1t to the peo-
pie throughout Northeastern pennsylvania
from three to five hours earlier than tne
Philadelphia and New York papers can
reach them.1
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12
n the BABY Is Cu,tins Teeth.

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup has been
used for over Fifty Years by Millions of
Mothers for their Children while Teething.
with Perfect Success. It SOothes the
Child, Softens the Gums. Allays all Pain:
for Diarrhoea. Sold by Druggists In every
part Of the world. He sure and, ask for
mrs. Winslows Soothing Syrup" and
take no other kind. Twenty-Five cents a
bottle. -
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12

Distressing Kidney and Bladder diseases
relieved in six hours by the New South
American Kidney Cure. This new REM
edy Is a great surprise on account of its
exceeding promptness In relieving pain in
the bladder, kidneys. back, and every part
Of the urinary passages. in male or fe-
male. IT relieves retention of water and
pain in passing 1t almost Immediately. II
you want quick relief and cure this is
your remedy. Sold by c. NJ. Harris, Drug
gst, 125 Penn avenue. Scranton. Pa. -
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12
Dissolution Of artnershlp.

TI>HE PARTNERSHIP HERETOFORE EX
L istins between j. M. Rhodes, G. W.
Rhodes and Louis ID. Aquino. doing husines,
as the Good Samaritan Salve Co.. has this day
been dissolved bv the retirement Of j. NJ
Rhodes from said firm. All claims against
said fund should be presented to CIV. Rhodes
Elmhurst, Pa.
THE GOOD SAMARITAN sALvE co.
September IL, 1884
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12
HA1LSTEAD.

]. r. Swartz has secured a position
In Scranton.
Mrs. Farmer of Hoboken. N. j., is
visiting at the residence of c. j. Lang
ley
Searle, the bicycle rider. who is try
Ing to break the record between New
York city and Chicago, will arrive In
town this morning.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12
Dr, Young IIurt.

DIR. II. N. Young. the well-known
dentist. was hurt painfully on Tuesday
night while bicycling He was riding
down South River street. and in turn
Ing Northampton. ran into horse. The
animal reared. and when he came
down one foot landed on the Doctors
leg. inflicting very painful, but not
serious, injury
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12
Released on B8i1.

Charles II. Miller. charged with rob-
bling the Moosic pOstofIlce. was released
from jail yesterday on $1,000 bail, fur
nished by his brother. William Miller.
He win have hearing oM Wednesday
of next week before United States
Commissioner Hahn.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12
Transfer Of license.

IN RE: TRANSFER OF HOTEL LICENSE
i of Annie Yatsko, in the First ward Of
Archibald borough, to Joseph Kroschick. No.
tice is hereby given that court has fixed Sept.
23 1895, at y o. m, as the time for hearing in
above case. TAYLOR d LEWIS,
Attorneys for Petitioners.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12

When Baby was SICK, w savs her ca~osA
whsn she was Child, she cried for CastoriA
When she became Min, he chung 10 CastoriA
wAsn she had Chiidrsa, ~ gave thnn CasGos1a
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12

"Now, said the governor to a forger.
who had Just arrived at the prison. "we'll
set you to work. What can you do best?''
"Well. II you'll give me a weeks prac-
tce on your signature. I'll sign your
cheques for you.' said the prisoner.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12
Connolly e. Wallace
KID GLOVES | KID GLOVES

make
gloves good We
describe
includes and shade
display Kids window
Chances we'll you'll
benefit
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12
Annual Meeting.

N1OTICE-THE ANNUAL MEETING OF
~ the members Of the Lackawanna Store
Association. Limited, will lie held ut the Office
Of the association, in the city Of Scranton, on
Wednesday, Oct 2, ls95. at o'clock D. m, for
the election Of managers for tho ensuing year
and for the transaction Of such other business
as may properly come before tho meeting.
j. p. HIGGINSON, Secretary.
Scranton, Pa, Sept. :, 1895.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12

pittstOn Business Directory.
FOR FIRST-CLASS PLUMBING CALL
on Wright G. Co., 81 South Main street.
A new range for sale or exchange; also
secondhand household goods. bought or
sold
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12
'CROSS.THE.WATER FUN.

Complied from Foreign Exchanges.
"A Frenchman was boasting that he had
thorughly mastered the English language
when he was asked to write from dicta-
ton the following choice specimen of our
eccentric vernacular: "As Hugh Hughes
was hewing a yule log from yew tree a
man dressed In garments of dark hue
came up to Hugh and said: Have you
seen my ewes? To which he replied:
III you will wait until hew the yew l will
go with you to look for your ewes'"
After an attempt the Frenchman admitted
his mistake.
Barrister: "Now, sir, you have stated
under oath that this man had the appear
ance of gentleman. Will you be good
enough to tell the jury how gentleman
looks in your estimatiOn?'
Witness: We'll, er--a-gentleman looks
-erlike-er-"
! Barrister: II don't want any Of your
ers, sir: and remember that you are on
oath. Can you see anybody In this court
room who looks like a gentleman?'
Witness with sudden asperity): II can
II you'll stand out of the way"
She was an observant little lady Of six.
and on her way to the park with her nurse
was met by lady nelghbOr, a friend Of
her mammals; and the latter said: II
hear that you have two dear little baby
brothers now. Edith"
eyes. I have" cried the little girl de-
HEnttuIy. lncy were Drought 10 mann
ma by DR.. Ferguson at lunch time yester-
day."
''And do you like them?'
"Oh, yes, / think they are little dears."
"And what are they to be called?'
'Im not quite sure: though I think I
know, for / overheard papa say. as he
came down stairs, Hell and Tommy"
A ways!de inn, standing on one Of the
old coach roads. Is rapidly going to ruin.
A traveller who stayed there one night
complained that the water came through
the roof, and dripped on to his bed. To
this the landlady replied: "All right, sir.
you can soon mend that. You'll find an
umbrella in the corner by the clothes
press"
Lover: you are getting prettier every
day."
Sweet Girl: "Just now 7 am living on
brown bread and water to improve my
complexion"
"How long can you keep that up?'
"Oh. Indefinitely"
"Then let's get married"
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-09-12

A peasant went with his wife to the
theatre. At the conclusion OF the first act
he said to his better half: "COme along,
old woman, let's 20 home: the second act
doesn't begin till five years later"