Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1895-12-21
THE CASE OF SANTA CLAUS
VS.. S|LAS SINGLETON.

"Jemimy Jane" soliloquized Mr.. Single
| ton, as he banged away at his lonely old
| bachelor stove, 'if Santa Claus ever gets
down this way he's going to have to leave
that fat stomach of his out on the roof"
and he chuckled softly to himself as he
| stuffed a cr,.mpled up newspaper through
| the stove door and touched ii with a match
| to burn out the fiue.
Then he sat down, and listening to the
| roaring flames within, he let himself think
awhile. 1t was only three days before
| Christmas, and Mr.. Silas Singleton was I'M
| happy Truly an uncalled for condition of
| mind at so merry season, but Mr. Sin
| gleton was unhappy, and there was no
| other Interpretation of it. He was bache-
| lor of forty, but that was no particular
| reason why he should be unhappy, for a
bachelor Of forty has much to be thankful
| for. He might have been a bachelor of
| fifty. and surely. he had ten years the adj
vantage of that. His room was small and
| was on the top floor of the boarding house,
| but the rent was low, and there was some
| compensation in that. Neither was pow
| erty grinding the happiness out of Silas
Singleton's soul. for Silas was thrifty. and
! despite his poor quarters he had half dol
| lars in plenty, and could have bought two
|
| disposed.
| To come to the plain and undisputed facts
| in the case, Mr. Singleton's unhappiness
was due solely to emotional difficulties. ag-
| gravated by one Jane Smith, charming
| typewriter, who occupied a hall room on
| the second floor and Mr.. Singletons heart
| at the same time.
| Now, the reader may think that girl
ramed Jane Smith couldn't very well be
| pretty and sweet and all that. but the
| reader may err, for Jane was all of that
and a thousand times more to Silas Single
| ton.
And slas Singleton wasn't anything to
her. Not a thing.
| For hadn't she told him so only the even
| ing before? And that. too, with an en-
| phasis which fairly made the cold chills
| system.
All. me- what perils do environ the man
| who NEEDLES with Cupid. Especially an
| old bachelor who has been accustomed to
| having things pretty much his own way.
| Mr.. Singleton and Jane Smith had come
! to an understanding, they say when re-
| ferring to these things, and the under
| standing practically an engagement
| course of true love failed to glide or had
dropped a cog or something. Anyway. 1t
was off the track, ard Silas Singleton had
| been caught in the wreck without an &C
| cident insurance policy.
And the more he thought of it as he sat
| gloomily before his lonely old bachelor
| stove iE the little bare room on the top
| floor the more he thought and the less the
softered roar of the flames in the hue
| seemed to soothe his perturbed spirit.
What the end would have been is of no
moment here, for his thought was dis
| turbed by a sharp rap on his door.
| Come in," called Siias. with start. as II
the intruder might possibly be Santa Claus
| That's what I'm here for responded the
| bluff voice of a man with a white whisker
| that might have been plucked from the
Christmas deity. he swung the door open
| and came in with thufnp.
He was a large man and powerful, not
| withstanding his sixty more years. and
| SilaS did not openly resent his vigorous and
| unconventional entrance, but he looked up
at him in mild surprise and remonstrance.
| Are you Mr.. Silas Singleton?' he said, as
he dropped into chair with an emphasis
| that made it squeak in protest.
Il am" responded Silas. stiff1y.
| Bachelor, l presumed" looking around the
| room as If there were no need of asking the
| question.
Il am" more stiffiy than before.
| You ought to be married. continued
| children and more grandchildren than can
take census of. 1t seems to run in our
| family"
Il have entertained aspirations to matri-
mory." said Silas. softening somewhat I'M
der the pressure of his caller
Don't do it." was the unexpected re-
| with a wife and a lot of children? They'd
| fit in place like this amazing well.
wouldn't they now?" and the visitor looked
about him disdainfully.
There are other places" ventured Silas.
Yes. and other men have filled them up
| with their wives ard children. What do you
| want to break in for?"
REALLY. don't know" stammered Silas,
| thinking OF the poor prospect just then that
| he ever would.
| of course you don't. Give it up" and the
visitor rose and walked about the room curl
ousy. by the way" he broke out sudden
ly. aren't you in love-"
Silas started if he had been shot, and
| he looked around nervously to see If his
visitor had found any of those little souve-
| rirs of affection maidens send to bachelors
| for decorative purposes
| Il don't know who you are. SIR" replied
Silas with dignity, ''and I don't see any
| reason Why l should answer such a uues-
ten, granting, even. that you have a right
| to ask it,
'Oho." chuckled the visitor. its worse
| than thought it was. Bad case: bad case
| Why don't you go right down to that Smith
| girl on the second floor and tell her she
doesn't know good thing when she sees
it?"
| If the visitor had hit Slas in the face with
| wet rag, he couldn't have disturbed his
| equanimity more
| Sir he exclaimed in surprise and
anger, Il have permitted your unusual visit
| this evening because it took my thoughts
| from sadder things, but you have presumed
| upon my forbearance and transgressed the
laws of hospitality 1 will answer your
| qoSSlioh ny lSiliHS YOU IL is none OF your
busino IS and ask you to get out of my room
| at once"
In response to this rather peremptory re-
| quest of Mr.. Singleton the visitor sat down
| and actually laughed at his host
| II like that" he chuckled TITS emphatic
But just the same it is my business. and
want to know. sir. why you are trifiing with
| the affections of my niece and ward, Miss
Jane Smith. Perhaps that isn't my bust
| ness either" and the big old man rose up
| before Mr.. Singleton until he looked as tail
| as a giraffe and as big around as an ele-
plant.
1t was putting very different phase on
| the situation. and Mr. Singleton began to
prepare a retreat
| Evidently you are ignorant of the facts
| in the case. SIR he said. hedging slightly
| Not a bit of 1t: not a bit of 1t. Mr. Single
| ton." retorted the visitor. 81 know all about
| 1t. I've talked with the young lady and
know exactly. You have been trifng with
| her. sir, and 1 shall remove her from this
| house. sir. at once, sir. and If you obtrude
yourself upon her again, sir. you will hear
| from me. sir. Do you hear, STRIP and with
| shake of his big fist at Slas he stamped
| out of the room and stamped down stairs
| Silas sat down again and began pinching
| himself to see If he were really awake or