West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1895-07-04
FORECAST FOR July, 1886.

The month will begin about sixty
minutes after III O'Clock on the last
(Snnday) night in jane. There
VIII be a pretty fair display of stars
at the tirhe-=seen by the young men
especially, in the eyes of the young
ladies, about the time they arc get
ting ready to say "Good night. "
On the lst, 2nd and Ord it will be
warm and dry in some parts and
wet and muddy in other parts, ac-
cordlng TO where the rain falls and
the sun shines. On the 4th il will
rain somewhere, of course, and it
will be variable I'll day, so much so
that some people will want ice
cream and lemonade to cool them
selves, and others will want and
freely take "0ld Uncle Jack" to
warm themselves up. OF course
everybody will be patriotic, Old
soldiers in the far Sunny South,
who never saw the Potomac River
or Mason and Dixon's Lime, will
tell of the good beer they hooked in
pennsylvania when they got Who'll.
Topped ut Gettysburg. And lots Of
soldiers, who had to fight so hard
to save the railroad, will tell their
little grandchildren that they had
to 90 to Gettysburg on that day,
and they lost their health so badly
that they had to have u pension to
live on. The 5th will be cloudy
and misty to many in southern and
northern and western and eastern
parts. especially those who got too
patriotic the day before. 1t will be
variable, according to the localities Of
the clrcumrevolutionary orbs of the
planetary system. in their increas-
ing flight around the superextra.
ordinary in the incomprehensibl
extent Of the incalculable space for
some time afterwards, and corn
will all be land aside, where they
don't have to pillow 1t some more,
and wheat will be hauled in, what
amt too wet. The grass, when it
is big enough, will be cut, but none
of it will, on account of the astro-
nomical definition gwen above. be
in such shape to gladden. the yeo-
men in singing the following
Let all your work be early done,
by lazy sloth, no prize is won,
And time and tide Will wait for none.
About the Goth there will be snow
In far mp northern parts, and it
may be cool, and may be hot, in
the southern and middle parts.
But the weather won't have any
effect on the common course of
events. Lawyers will quarrel; work.
men will work, unless they can
shirk; boys will fish and play in
the mud; girls will chew gum and
eat peanuts, and laugh and smile
when the boys are around and Ma
isn't too near.
The last week of the month will
be interesting to astronomers aud
all other folks. BOOSTERS will crow
early in the morning, and old hens
will cacSle, and the great sun, the
source of light and heat, will rise
III the morning and set in the even
ing, just little while after the pigs
are fed. Some Of the farmers will
wonder why it rains so much, and
others why it don't rain more, and
landlords Will wonder why the
boarders don't take a lunch for
dinner and go fishing, instead of
staying at home and eating square
meal. There will be drouth in the
west and south wherever it is drv,
aad mud on the roads where it is
wet, and an event will transpire on
the 3lst at midnight never before
seen, and in all probability never
seen hereafter, that is the ending
of July, 1895.
This Is my first representation
of the weather, and it will i'm all
probability be the last, but | will
leave candid world to Judge, after
the month has ceased to be, wheth-
or it has not come nearer the mark
than any produced by Rev. Hicks
or Prof. Smith.
JACOB WBATHERwIsE.
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