davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1895-03-02
JEsTS OF THE JOKER.
HUMAN FOIBLES FURNISH FUN FOR
THE WITS.
Amusing and Entertaining Reading
for Young and Old, Carefully Sc
lected From the Brightest of the
Humorous Exchanges.

Pat Devlin had not been in this
country very long, but he had already
acquired a prosperous business as a
contracting mason. He was a young
and unmarried man, and although he
made considerable money, he wa con-
sentative about spending it. While ut
work he had watched the bicyclists
go spinning past, and he envied them.
BE the powers, Callahan, they bate
the wrrruld" he cried, enthusiastic
ally, one day. AN there'd be wan
woild Oirishman straddIin' a newat-
tic toire this %avenin', shure, if he had
the money to sphare."
why don't yez rent wan?" inquired
Callahan.
Can yez be afther rentin' thfmy"
"Sure!!"
"Oil have wan ov thin out this
avenin' or me names not Devlin!"
cried Pat.
True to his vow, Pat strobe into 4
bicycle store early that evening, and
sought the head clerk.
"How do yez rent yer boicicles?"
ne inquired.
Fifty cents the first hour, and %
cents the secosd,'' was the reply.
Fifty cents for the first hour and
Is for the second, is it," Pat said,
quickly. Then, me man, give me wan
fer the second hour"
Philosophy for a Dill Collector.
A collector Of unpaid bills has a
hard time of it, but one met a philo-
sophica debtor recently who convinced
him of some astounding facts. The
collector said hat he had been chas-
Ing the said philosophical debtor for
! about six months, and was getting
tired. 1t was always Come around
tomorrow" or Haven't got it now"
Say" he said, when he made his
last trip, ARE you ever going to pay
this bin?"
why, yes, some day." the phlloso-
pher replied. But look here, young
man, I want to show you a thing or
two. How many bills have you in that
pack"
about FORTY said the collector.
"How long does it take you to visit
all these people?' the philosopher in
quired.
about a dsy."
What if. all paid up promptly!'
why, that would be great"
Would it? What would you do for
a living if all these debtors paid up
In one day"
The collector looked blank for a mo-
ment.
Great Jerusalem! Id be out Of a
Job"
"Well, then, don't be so anxious to
collect every penny due to your peo-
pie. One bill a day is enough. AS 1or
me. come around some time next week
and I may do something for you"
and the philosopher faded away.-The
Amusing Journal.
Commence, the Apnorreo.
Listen Reginald Mulvaney."
She had promised to be his wife, but
nevertheless she confronted him pale
and r~esolute.
"The wealth which you lay at my
feet" she said, intensely, you stole
when you were an alderman"
He bowed.
"I am led to believe that you were
elected an alderman by a.
She shivered.
ca trade. Am l right?"
He shrank away in terror, nor an
swered, such was his discontinue.
"Trade," she repeated, in horror.
II cannot touch wealth made in trade.
Avaunt. This is final"
Crushed, he selected what seemed
to be the best overcoat in the hall
and left her forever. -
A SOftened Heart.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1895-03-02
ventiIatinS Car wiHodws.

Two Of the greatest banes of steam
railway travelling are smoke and dust,
and any attempt to enable a traveller
to reach his destination with wen a
moderate sense Of cleanliness will
meet it's own sure reward. A ventilat-
ing window has been tried for some
time In the cars of a progressive rail
way company, with av lew to remedy
the ~inadequacy of the ordinary meth
DDS OF car ventilation. The window
has a single sash hinged at both ends
and sides by slip hinges, o that either
side can be opened, or the sash, can
be pushed outward, parallel with the
side of the car Under ordinary con
ditions the window is swung open
from the front hinges, so that the op-.
ening is protected by the sash. There
is such a supply of fresh air that prac-
tically no Inconvenience is experience
ed from the smoke of the locomotive.
The rush Of air past the window
creates an exhaust and draws out the
air from the car, fresh air being sup
piled through the deck windows in
summer, while in winter the leakage
Of air around the deck windows and
front door is sufficient for ventilation.
So that a continuous exhaust goes
on. through the windows at all times.
The nuisance of dust and the entrance
Of rain is prevented by a water table
over the window, and there is also a
brass shield on the bottom Of the sash
to hinder the dust from entering from
beneath. This shield slides in a
groove in the sill. The sash closes
against rubber strips, making an air.
tight ft when closed. To prevent the
sashes being opened the wrong way
q locking rod extends the length of
the car, which is fitted with a handle
over each platform This rod is under
the control of the brakeman who locks
the hinges Of the leading side Of the
window In the same way as on subur-
ban cars tie altcrr ate decks lights
LIZ opened or closed according to the
direction In which the car Is running.
In q test Of this new v~entilator, thu
windows were rurposely opened In the
tunnels and the small quantity Of
smoke that lenked In around the drop
window, in the doorway ard at the
the forward deck lights were exhaust
ed by the window air current, and
the air at the rear end Of the car was
sweet and clean.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1895-03-02
spoilinE ! Fine old Lesend.

Spelling = Fine Old Legend.
Can you leave It alone? applies with
special point to mounds ii which It Is
supposed that ancient Britons and
such-like bygone people have been bur-
ied.In Parliament Hills Fields there is
i mound, and tradition had 1t that
Queen Boadicea was buried there. Ev-
erybody Is in association Of ideas.
probably q good mary people visiting
these fields haG coniured up before
their eyes the queen In her chariot
calamity resisting tie Romans. Alas!
Id an il-advised moment sone anti
quaries were allowed to grub for her
British majesty. They did not find her
nor did they discover anything be-
yond that she could never have been
buried there. Thus an interesting and
suggestive legend has been destroyed.
sISsttrrnlst That IL future that We shall
tomb depaEtad W6rtLieS fOrI
S66111tsd insfead q inyestie4tinS them
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1895-03-02

White 10 Always the Best.
Chloe-"Did yo' hang up yo' stock
in?" s I
Aunt Eliza-"Yes, indeed, chile: but
1t war brack, and / guess ole Santa
couldn't see it,
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1895-03-02
SOftened Heart.

Little Dick-Mamma, may l go and
play with Robby Upton, and stay there
to dinner if they ask me?
Mammal thought you didn't like
Robby Upton.
81 didn't, but as I passed his house
Just now, my heart softened toward
him."
"Did he look lonely?" ~
"No'm, he looked happy"
"What about?" r.
"He said his mother was maxim ap-
ole dumplings.'-Good News.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1895-03-02

1T the Baby is Cutting Teeth.
Be sure and use that old and well-tried remedy, Mrs.
WISsLow's SOOTHING SYRUr Cos CklG~an Tsathins.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1895-03-02
Electrical Switzerland.

The snug little republic of Central
Europe is a busy producer and con-
sumner Of electrical apparatus. Her
magnificent water powers are now
frequently utilized for lighting and
for power transmission, but her cleo
trical progress is by no means due
merely to that cause. The latest sta
tistics show that there are in Switzer-
land no fewer than ST. lighting plants
II power transmissions, ISL storage
battery plants, 14O7 dyr:amos and mo-
tons, 1925 arc lamps, and 145,949 in
"candescent lamps. The general rate
of increase last year over 1892 was
more than SO per cent, and it may be
doubted whether we would equal that
rate in this country. In some respects
we are decidedly behind for of the ZIG
new lighting plants, no fewer than for
ty were equipped with storage bat
teries. That entire dependence is not
placed on water privileges is shown
by the fact that of the private install
lations SO per cent s steam engines
to drive the dynamos, 8 per cent gas
engines, 1 IL per cent oil engines.
Almost all the rest is driven hydrau-
Ideally. 1t is a notable fact that in
many parts Of America, owing to the
reckless forest denudation, the water
privileges are giving out, and have to
be supplanted by engines, but the
Swiss are said to be wiser in their day
and generation, and to conserve their
streams and forests jealousy.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1895-03-02
Do the Next Thine.

Don't live a single hour Of your life
without doing exactly what 5 t. be-
done in it, and going straight through
it from beginning to end. Work. nlav
study; whatever it is, take hold at once
and finish it up squarely; then do the
next thing. without letting any mo-
ments drop in between. 1t is wonderful
to see how many hours these promot
people contrive to make Of a dav. IT
Is as if they picked up the moments
the dawdlcrs lost. And if you ever find
yourself where you have SO many things
pressing upon You that you hardly
know where to begin, let me tell Won
a secret: Take hold of the very one
that comes to hand and you will fan
into line and follow after like q COM
pany Of well-drilled soldiers; and. al
though work may be hard to meet
when it charges in a squad, it is easily
vanquishcd if you can bring it into
line.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1895-03-02
Electric Printing Presses.

. - AACCNVAC XSN0CS
The use of electric motors in print
ing presses is an old story. A great
many newspapers and not a few job
offices are now driven by electric pow
er, and the number is rapidly on the
increase. Hitherto the motor has-gen-
orally taken the place of the gas or
steam engine, and has been belted to
a line Of, shafting, so that the economy
Of the change has not been as great as
it might be. A decided innovation Is
now being made by literally building
the rotor right into the press, SO that
it drives the machine in about the
same manner as an electric motor pro-
pels a street ar. There is not only
an ecol ony Of space, but an economy
Of power, and printers are reported to
view the new departure with much
favor, especially as the same presses
will now yield q much higher and
steadier output. as
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1895-03-02
Tastes Differ.

Mrs. Dix-Husband thought the play
was funny, but to me it was very AZ
fecting; l cried through every act. !
Mrs. Hicks-I suppose he went out
after each act .or a quiet smile.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1895-03-02
A. w. GLEASON

~, A. ". GLEASON,
| Notary Public.
HaH's Catarrh Cure is taken internally and
acts directly on the blood and mucous sur
faces OF the system. Send for testimonials,
free. FL. CHENEY g. CO.,
~ Toledo, o.
eg- Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Halls Family Pills, Csc.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1895-03-02

~ A1t6matio ERE ExtinsuisAsR.
1sA new method of extinguishing nree
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1895-04-13
S|0|II|Iia
For Infants and Childre1

For Infants and Children.
Castoria promotes Digestion, and
overcomes Flatulency, Constipation, Sour
Stomach, Diarrhea, and Feverishness.
Thus the child is rendered healthy and its
sleep natural. CastoriR contains nc
Morphine or other narcotic property.
''CaStoria is 20 well adapted to children chat
recommend. it as superior to any prescription
known to me-" II. A ARCHER. n. D.,
IN South Oxford St., Brooklyn, NY.
"For several years have recommended your
sCastoria,' and shall always continue to do so,
as it has invariably produced beneficial results.
EDWIN T. PARDEE, n. D.,
125th Street and 7th Ave-, New York City.
SsThe use of 'Castoria' is SO universal and
It's merits 80 well known that It seems work of
supererogation to endorse it. Few are the in
religent families who do not keep Castoria
within easy reach"
CARLOS MARTYR, D. D.,
New York City.
THE CEsrAuR CoMPANx, II Murray Street. N. 7.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1895-04-13
Diseuss the Income ra1.

New YORK, April IA conference
was held yesterday between representa-
tives of several transatlantic steamship
companies to discuss the subject of the 2
per cent exaction on incomes, and, if
thought best by the majority, to organ
ize for the purpose of attacking the con-
stitutionality of the new law. The
meeting was secret but informal one,
and the matter was discussed generally,
as it would if enforced affect the foreign
steamship companies docking and trad
ing in this port.
The companies, it is said, take the
stand that as the principal lines are for
eign corporations, their shares being
held by foreigners, and the earnings of
each voyage not being credited until the
arrival of vessels on the other side, they
are not liable to the income tax.
The agents present were loath to talk
on the subject, and beyond the fact that
the meeting adjourned without taking
any action as to whether concerted ac-
ton should be taken against the en-
forcement of the law, no information
could be obtained. Vernon H. Brown,
of the Cunard line, when seen last night
at his home, however, said that the sub
ject was discussed informally, and that
it was finally referred by each company
to it's respective counsel, who will report
back at a future conference of the agents,
who will then take such action as the
counsel suggest.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1895-04-13
Great oaks

From little acorns grow, go also do
fatal diseases spring from small begin
nings. Never neglect symptoms of kid
ney troubles; If allowed to develop they
cause much suffering and sorrow. DIR.
S. H. McLean's Liver and Kidney Balm
IS certain cure for any disease or weak
Eess of the kidneys. A trial will con-
vince you of its great potency. Price
$1.00 per bottle. Sold by Snipes- Kin
ersly Drug Co.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1895-04-13

that bullet had penetrated little be-
low the left eye and grazing the cheek
bone had lodged under the nose.
The excitement and indignation caused
by the event were indescrible. The
Japanese plenipotentiaries hastened to
the viceroy's lodging to inquire and con-
dole. Count Ito telegraphed to the en-
peror in Hiroshima asking that the two
chief court physicians be despatched at
once to attend the illustrious patient.
The emperor issued arescript declaring
that the country had been dishonored,
and invoking his subjects everywhere to
guard against such national disgrace.
The empress dispatched two nurses with
bandages rolled by her own hands. The
mobiles, the houses of the diet, the jour-
nalists, the chamber of commerce, the
universities, the public schools, the
municipalities, the prefectures all sent
kilograms of coincidence and delegates to
express their profound sorrow.
The viceroy's assailant proved to be a
youth of 26, by name Koyama Rokun-
osuke. Of small stature, meager frame
generally Insignificant appearance, and
wearing the shabbiest of garments, he
seemed the last person in the world to
be plotting, single-handed against the
life of foreign empires greatest states
man. Surrendering quietly a rusty six
shooter that he carried in his sleeve, he
walked to prison with the police and
answered the questions of the magistrate
without the least perturbation. His
father was a member of the prefectural
assembly of the Gumma prefecture,
away up in the north of Japan. Watch
ing the course of events for some years
back, Rokunosuke had come to the con-
clusion that as the control of China's in
reference in Corean affairs was vested
in the Viceroy Ii, on him also rested the
ultimate responsibility for all Corea's
foreign complications. There could be
no permanent peace in the Orient so
long as the viceroy lived. Hence he de-
termined to kill the old statesman, and
had even projected a voyage to China for
that purpose, but his means proved in
sufficient. Barely by great economy,
had he succeeded in travelling 600 miles
to Simonosaki, procuring en- route an
ancient six-shooter in Yokohama.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1895-04-13
China and Japan Come to an
Understanding.
TERMS OF PEACE ARE NOT KNOWN
What Extent HAS Not Been Announced
What Caused the Delay in the
Negotiations.

WASHINGTON, April 12.-Oficial ad-
vices received at the Japanese legation
today from Japan, indicate that an un-
derstanding has been reached between
the Japanese and Chinese plenipoten-
tiaries, and news of the definite conclu-
sion of peace may be expected at any
time. The exact terms of peace cannot
be ascertained, but it is understood that
in response to the repeated requests OF
the Chinese plenipotentiaries have
granted some concessions.
As brief as the foregoing official mes
sage is, it marks the close of the Japan
China war, barring the possibility, of
course, of some unexpected hitch at the
last moment. The announcement of the
exact terms of peace is to come, but from
what is known of the negotiations thus
tar, the general nature of the terms is
evident. 1t was officially announced
that the terms being insisted on were as
follows:
First-The independence of Corea.
Second-The permanent cession of the
island of Formosa to japan.
Third-An indemnity of 100000, 900
taels, Chinese money.
Fourth-The permanent occupation of
Port Arthur and immediate surrounding
territory.
Fifth-A new Japan-China treaty,
= opening China to commerce.
The two conditions which have caused
trouble are the permanent occupation of
Port Arthur and the payment of 300,
100000 taels. While no official informa-
tion is available, and no statement what
ever regarding the terms of peace can be
obtained, probably these are the only
conditions in which the Japanese pleni-
potentiaries have yielded. Just how
much they have yielded on the occupa-
ton of Port Arthur may have vital con-
sequences. If they have yielded entirely
it removes Japan from all occupancy of
the mainland and from the strategic
command of the Gulf of Pechili, leading
to Peking. At one time Japan was will
ing to occupy Port Arthur for term of
years, and this may be the ground of
agreement, although it is necessarily
conjectural at present. The purpose of a
porary occupation, it is said, would
be to prevent China from rearming and
retaliating against Japan for a term of
years, at least. If the money demand
has been reduced, little significance will
attach to the fact, except that it will
tighten China's burden.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1895-04-13
The Assault on Chang.

TOXIC, March 9.-Correspondence of
the United Press, per steamer Coptic:
On March "a, the third conference of the
peace plenipotentiaries took place. 1t
began at 8 p. M, and lasted until 80,
and when the plenipotentiaries separated
satisfactory termination of the war was
within sight. The viceroy, Ii, entering
his palanquin, was carried rapidly to-
ward his lodging. So narrow was the
street that space of only nine feet re-
mained clear on either side of the palan-
quin. In that space policemen were
stationed throughout the entire distance
at short intervals.
When more than two-thirds had been
traversed of the 600 yards separating the
conference building from the viceroy's, a
pistol was fred by a man standing under
the caves of a sandal-maker's shop. The
viceroy threw up his head and raised his
hand to his left cheek, from which blood
was flowing copiously. A moment after
ward he was in the hands of his French
and Chinese physicians. 1t was found
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1895-04-13
Truce WIN Not Be EXTENDED.

YOKOHAMA, April II. 1t is stated
here on reliable authority that unless
peace is concluded within the period OF
the armistice, the truce will not be ex-
tended and the Japanese armies will, in
May, advance upon Peking. 1t is ofici-
ally stated that cholera in the Pesca-
dores islands, recently occupied by the
Japanese forces as base of operations
against the island of Formosa, is abating.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1895-04-13

Fields dissenting opinion is discussed.
Failing to break the force of that opin-
ion, the friends of the income tax are
asserting that Judge Field is too old to
remain longer on the bench, and they
further allege that he is not as vigorous
of mind now as he was few years ago.
But these insinuations emanate from
persons blind with rage at the calamity
that has befallen their pet scheme-the
obnoxious and mortally wounded income
tax
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1895-04-13
AraInat Judre Fields.

CHICAGO, April 12.-The Tribune's
Washington correspondent sends the
following: 'The advocates of the in
come tax are clamoring for the retire
ment of Justice Fields from the supreme
court so as to permit the president to
appoint as his successor some one who
will be less hostile to the measure. In
the departments and wherever friends of
the income tax assemble the unanswer-
able argument set forth in Justice
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1895-04-13
symptoms OF kidney troubles should

Symptoms of kidney troubles should
be promptly attended to; they are
natures warnings that something is
wrong. Many persons die victims of
kidney diseases who could have been
saved had they taken proper precautions.
The prompt use of DR.. j. II. McLean's
Liver & Kidney Balm has saved thous-
ands of valuable lives. Ifyou have any
arrangement of the kidneys try it.
Price $1.00 per bottle. Sold by Snipes
& Kinersly, druggists.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1895-04-13

DR.. Miles NERVE PLAsrERs cure RHEUMA-
IIsM. WEAK BACKS. At druggists. only 26e
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1895-04-13

w. t. Sanford, Station Agent Of
Leeper, Clarion Co. Pa, writes; I can
recommend One Minute Congh Cure as
the best I ever used. It gave instant
relief and quick cure. Snipes-KInersly
Drug Co.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1895-04-13
movements of warships.

WASHINGTON, April 12.-Admir i
Mead's squadron sailed yesterday from
Port au Prince, Hayti, for Colon. The
Charlestown arrived at Che-Foo, China,
and the San Francisco at Smyrna. The
Mohican has sailed from Port Townsend
J. A. Richardson, OF jefferson City
Mo-, Chief Enrolling force 3sth general
assembly of Missouri, writes: wish 20
testify to the merits of One Minute
Cough Cure. When other SO called
cures tailed. Iobtained almost instant
relief and a speedy cure by the use
of One Minute Cough Cure. Snipes-
Kinersly Drug Co.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1895-07-19
Oahu College Affairs.

Professor Hosmer has finally
been fully exonerated from the
charges brought against him as
principal of the Oahu College.
The Board of Trustees have also
passed series of resolutions ex-
pressing their high regard for Mr. {.
Hosmer. Attorney General
Smith, one of the trustees, stated
that neither the proceedings of
the investigation nor the resolu-
tions passed would be made pub
lie, on the ground that Oahu Col
lege WIS no. public institution.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1895-07-19
THE POLICE COUNT.
The woodward Seduction Case DC
cupying Judge Perry's Time.

The woodward Seduction Case Oc-
cupyIng Judge Perry's Time.
At this morning session Of the
District COURT, All Wing pleaded
not guilty of maintaining che. ia
game. His trial is set for to-mor-
row.
Kaliaka and Kswaha VIII o yes
terday pleaded not guilty of hav-
ing che-fa tickets in their posses
sion changed their pleas to guilty
this morning. Sentence was sus-
pended till moved on.
The remainder of the morning
session was taken up with the ex-
animation of e. Woodward, a
Oahu College school boy, who is
charged with seducing Mary
Akau under promise of marriage.
General Hartwell is specially re-
tanned by the Government in this
case, while Paul Neumann is for
the defense. The case still being
heard this afternoon.