davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
The Professors Mistake.

The college boys are laughing over
little joke. that they played on one
of the professors this week. This par
ticular professor is somewhat near
sighted, as are most professors. The
boys thought that they would play a
harmless joke on him. So one of them
got his coat and hat and fixed up q
passably good dummy before the said
professor came into the class room.
When he came in the first thing that
met his eyes was student who was i'll
hammered enough to wear his hat in
the class room.
"Will that gentleman sitting be-
tween Mr.. A and Mr.. B remove his
hat?" the professor said mildly.
'fWill that gentleman with his hat
on please remove it?" again spoke the
professor.
The hat and coat suddenly disap-
peared and the recitation went on as il
nothing had happened. 1t is doubtful
if the professor knows now that he
had been fooled. Syracuse Post.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
SEEDS AND sHEAvEs.

Three things come not back; o sped
arrow, a broken word, q lost opportu-
nity.-Ara6 Prouerb.
"Work for thy character until it is
renowned; then it will work for thee" !"
Not by appointment do we meet de-
light or joy; they heed not our ex.
pectancy, but around some corner OF
the street of life they on sudden
greet us with smile.
''S.lfshness is o glass prison; we
do not know we are in 1t until we try
to get out of it..
The test OF civilization is the esti-
mate of women.
A good many people fail in their
own business because they spend SO
much time in attending to that Of
other people.
You eat too much when you eat that
you have not honestly earned. You
talk too much when you begin to talk
about your neighbors.
If you begin to think that you are
of considerable importance just stick
your finger in tub of water and see
how much of hole will be left.
Gray hairs are honorable if they
grow on an honored head.
No mau is better off because his
neighbor is poor, nor is any mar
poorer because his neighbor is honest
ly rich. Farm NeWS.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
Mexican Dancing Beans.

The familiar ''dancing beans"
which have been displayed Of late in
the shop windows have become very
popular novelty, and great quantities
of them have been sold throughout
the country at ridiculously high prices.
The bean is the seed of the Sebsstiana
palmeri, a shrub which grows abun-
dainty in Alamas, Sonora, and other
parts OF Mexico. The curious move
ment or "dancing" is caused by the
antics of larva, the Carpocapsa sal
titans, which is imprisoned in the hol-
low shell of the bean. The larva re-
semLles closely the common apple
worm of our orchards. The bean has
no particular intrinsic value. --Scie9
tiGc American.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
A Kind Friend.

It is good for man to have friend
who knows how to say the right thing.
When Tommers got so hard up that he
had to take job at laying gas pipe he
was astonished to find his friend Brown
looking down at him in the trench one
day.
s'This is not the first time I have
seen you here" said Brown. ''And,
by the way, I saw Miss Willis the
other day and she asked about you.
'For heavens sake, you didn't give
me away, did you?"
"Well, you know, I cannot tell a
lie."
You contempfible--"
"Hold on. When she asked what
had become of you, told her that the
last time I say you, you were at the
corner turning up the street. Gin
ctnnati Tribune.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
Only q Box Of Cigars.

She got out of her carriage and
walked into the cigar store, at the
same time unfastening her sealskin
coat.
81 want box of cigars for my hus-
band, please. Let me see all kinds" :"
"Now here are some Key West goods
we can sell for So, and here are domes-
tics from that down to $780," said the
obliging clerk.
She looked at them carefully.
"You may wrap up that box for
$780," said she, with dignity. Il
like the shade better. 1t will about
match his smoking jacket. "-lndian-
apoLiS Sentinel.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
A Wonderful Light.

The idea of an electric light which,
fed by current from dynamo actu:
ated by forty horse power engine,
and giving 1000 candle power, can
have its Illuminating power intensified
IS, 900 times, is not easy to grasp. 1t
means the projection of a stream of
light OF about 250, 100000 candle
power, and it is no wonder that the
announcement that such light Is
about to be used in this country has
been received with some incredulity
in Europe. Yet this is the efficiency
of the light which will be shortly,
erected ct Fire Island for the :iilnyaia.l.
alton Of the adjacent coast anasthe
protection of the fleet of ships enter.
ing New York Harbor. Aremote sugs
gestion Of the power of this lamp may
be arrived at by bearing in mind that
an ordinary oil lamp is about thirty
eight or forty candle pewcr, and then
trying to imagine the combined beam
of 5000, 900 lamps. The ordinary
electric street light may be put down
at 1000 candle power, and $50, 600 of
these would about represent the
strength of the Fire Island light.
The most powerful oil lamp yet
made is supposed to shine out on
clear night for distance Of thirty.
five or forty miles, but the new light
will flash its welcome rays to the in
coming European liners when they
ore 100 miles away. The light re-
wolves rapidly and throws out: its
beams with the intensity of speed of
lightning. The motive power which
actuates it is simple clockwork ar
rangement contained in box two
feet square, and although the revolv-
ing portion of the light weighs fifteen
tons, the mechanism controlling it is
so delicate that the pressure of two
fingers will turn it. The value of this
marvellous lamp can only be deter
mined by practical working, but it
promises to represent an immense
stride in the science of coast light
house illumination. - Philadelphia
| Draco .
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
q thougnt so,D She confealsd bash.

81 thought so, J" she contested bash.
fully.
Then propriety asserted itself.
"I don't know you" she said, with
sweet, half laughing horror. s.And
here I'm talking to you in broad day
light, like-like an old friend I"
'sAre you going to the postofice 2"
said the artist from the city, valor-
ously. $50 am I. want some post
age stamps. /"
The fourteenth of February was
some distance in the past by the time
Lemuel Parks's meadow was entirely
and satisfactorily put on canvas. It
was said in Trumbull by the more far
seeing that if the artist could have
made the task last all summer he would
have.
Ifit had been necessary, uudoubt.
edly he would. But it was, in fact,
only in the edge of spring that the
prettiest girl in Trumbull Tor any.
where else, her lover firmly belieyed)
promised to marry him.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20

so many women owe their beauty to Dr.,
Pierce's Favorite Prescription? Because
beauty Of form and face radiate from the
common eerter-health: The best bodily
condition results from good food fresh air
and exercise coupled with the judicious use
Of the Prescription"
If there be headache, pain in the back,
bearing down sensations, OF general deA
bility, or if there be nervous disturbahee.
tls5yous pTqstratio ad seeplesiness a the the
trouble and corrects it. It dispe1s. aches
and pains, corrects displacements and cures
catarrhal Inflammation of the lining metri-
branes falling of the womb, liberation, IL
repularities and kindred ma1adies.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
Some Rare Vegetables.

There are three members of the cab
bage family that are very rarely seen
in farm gardens and but seldom in any
other. I refer to kohl rabi, Brussels
sprouts and kale.
Kohl rabi is 2 mixture seemingly be-
tween the turnip and the cabbage. 1t
has stem like cabbage stalk and a
bunch of cabbage-like leaves but the
edible part is the stalk which swells
out into round ball the inside of
which is very like the pith ola cabbage
stalk. There are several varieties and
in the old country they are grown to
quite an extent for cattle feed. They
are best for table use wheI not quite
fully grown though the smaller varie-
ties are very good at any time. They
are cooked the same as turnips and
taste considerably like cabbage.
Brussels sprouts have long stalk
and wide leaves at the base of which
little heads like cabbage heads grow
and these are very tender and delici-
Gus. When well-grown they are much
nicer than ordinary cabbage and each
little head may be served whole.
Kale is both ornamental and useful.
The leaves are beautifully fringed and
rufied and thrifty kale plant does
not look at all bad in flower bed.
Their principal use is as greens and
very large crop of them may be grown
on small plot of land.
All these require exactly the same
treatment as cabbage and will do best
when heavily fertilized and frequently
cultivated. The seed may be sown OF
any time after the frost is out of the
ground and the plants transplanted
the same as cabbage. All of them are
worthy of cultivation and give variety
to the supply of vegetables.-Faran
Mems
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
aGreenies' Not All From tho West.

"Some of the greenest people in the
world come from the old settled states, !"
remarked the head clerk of an uptown
hotel. "Some of our far western
guests are trifle crude in dress, and
care little for style at the dinner table,
but they never refrain from pressing
the electric buttons about the house
for fear it will call out the fire depart
ment. I have known rural visitors
from the interior of New York state
to abstain on the representation of the
mischievous bell boys, who had caught
on to their verdancy, and who would
walk down six flights of stairs to make
known their every want. - Washing
ton Post.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
A Hard Beat.

"Oi dunno phwat Dim goin' to do. "
said the policeman, disconsolately.
"Oi'll hov to give up me job an the
foorce unless they transfer me"
"What's the matter?"
"They've put me an beat where
there's nothin' but electric loights
frum wan block till the next, an Dim
purity nigh dead fur want av slape. -
Washington Star.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
The Greatest rledical Discovery
of the Age.
KENN EDYS
Medical Discovery.
DONALD KENNEDY, or RoyBuRY, MASS

Has discovered In one Of our common
pasture weeds remedy that cures every
kind of Humor, from the worst Scrofula
down to common pimple.
He has tried 1t In over eleven hundred
cases, and never failed except in twooases
(both thunder humor). He has now In
his possession over two hundred certtf-
Gates of its value, oil within twenty miles
OF Boston. Send postal card for book.
A benefit is always experienced from the
first bottle, and a perfect cure is warranted
when the right quantity Is taken.
When the lungs are affected it causes
shooting pains. like needles passing
through them; the same with the Liver
or Bowels. This Is caused by the ducts
being stopped, and always disappears In
week after taking it. Read the label.
If the stomach is foul or bilious 1t will
cause squeamish feelings at first 6
No change Of diet ever necessary, Eat
the best you can get, and enough OF 1t.
Dose, one tablespoonful in water at bed
time. Sold by all Druggists.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
VALENTINE.


Unknown to you this rhyme who sends,
Yet are we, Love, the best of friends:
But should you scorn this waif ofsong
OF him who loved in silence long,
Be cruel then-be cruel then,
And send young Cupid homo again;
And he who loves with love forsgo
Because Loves first reply Is No!
But, Sweetheart, when this message lies
Beneath the heavens OF your eyes,
And looking into them above,
Whispers the secret Of my love:
Be kind pray-be kind I pray;
Remember Valentine, his day,
When he who loves may love confess
And hope to hear Love answer Yes!
IF. D. Sherman, in Harper's Weekly.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
To. Accelerate Industry.

The old colored uncle applied to the
druggist for some whisky mot because
he needed il, -h,aC because he wanted
"We can't let you have it Uncle,
except for medicinal or mechanical
purposes. You are not sick fare youg
It was a powerful temptation, but
the old man overcame it.
"No, sah," he said, weakly.
Sand you don't need it for mechan.
ical purposes?"
"Whst's dem, sah3"
ooh, well, for manufacturing OF
other industries. F"
"Dat's it, sab; dat's it, exclaimed
the old fellow, with Frightening
face. ''De boss done tol me 1 had tc
be mo induschiis er he waa't gwinte1
hab the 'roun' no longer, sab, an
spec you better lemrne hab d leetle
liquor, to kinder lub'icate tiy j'ints.
Bout er tablespoonful, sab, to each
j'int'll do fer today, sab. "-Detroi'
Free Press.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20

The reader of this paper will be pleased to
learn that there is ut least one dreaded disease
that science has been able to cure in all it's
stages, and that is Catarrh. Halls Catarrh
Cure Is the only positive cure known to the
medical fraternity. Catarrh being ccnstitu-
tional disease. requires constitutional treat
ment Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken internally.
acting directly on the blood anil mucous sur
faces of tho system, thereby. destroying the
tient strength by building up the constitution
and assisting nature in doing its work. The
proprietors have SO much faith in its curative
powers, that they offer One Hundred Do lars
of test monlals. Address
F.J. CHENEY g. Co., Toledo, o.
~Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
Little Dots Luck.

Little Dot-I'm just the luckiest
girl that ever was.
Aunt-Why SO?
Little Dot-When I was out walkin'
my foot began to hurt me so 1 had to
sit right down and take off my thoe !;
and what do you think it was that
hurt? It was button-hook that had
got in my shoe.
Aunt-But where was the luck?
Little Dot-Why, don't you see? 1
had the button-hook to put on my
shoe again.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
The management of the A. &W.P.R.R,.

The management Of the A. & ". P. R. R., al
ways alive to the comfort and convenience of
its patrons, w II put on an extra sleeping CIR
between Atlanta and New Orleans during the
period of the Mardi- Gras festivities ut the
latter point. Diagram, are now ready at the
office OF Mr.. Geo. w. Allen, T. P. A., No. II
Kimbnll House, and those desiring to make
this trip will do we'll to coll on him some days
in advance to secure sleeping car accommo-
dations.
GEO. w. ALLEN, T. P. A., Atlanta, Ga.
JNo. a. GEE, Gen. Pass. Agt., Atlanta, Ga.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
Papa Caught.

First Little Boy--What you laugh
ing at?
Second Little Boy-Papa is scoldin'
everybody in the house, cause he says
he can't lay thing down a minute
without some one pickin 1t up an
-hv, ] he,
What's he lost ??''
ellis pencil. y
tffWhere is it?"
Behind his ear"
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
Noficr

I WANT every man and woman in the United
States interested in the Opium and Whi,ky
habits to have my book on these diseases.
Address B. N. Woolley. Atlanta, Ga, Box 3sl,
and one will be sent you free.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
RlacH Rinna

under the eyes and sallow complexion show
biliousness. Thisis one of the most disagree
able of stomach disorders and If allowed to
have its own way will result in grea harm.
Cure biliousness at once by using Ripan's
Tnhnles One tabulo gives relief.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20

NH 1"POR'"He D''feR
To make it apparent to thousands, who think
themselves i'll, that they are not affected with
any disease, but that the system simply needs
cleansing, is to bring comfort home to their
using Syrup of Figs. Manufactured by tine
California Fig Syrup Co.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
He Never Learned to Run.

Cherry.hill Pete--Git gate on yer,
boss! Dey's mad dog comm.
Benjamin franklin Schoolkyl---
Heaven protect me! Why was ! born
in Philadelphia?--JAdge.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
,Twas Ever Thus.

ST want an apple" said Tommie.
'sYou've just had one," said his
mama.
"I know at, said Tommie, ''but it
wasn't the one I wanted"
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20

Mrs. winslow's Soothing Syrup for children
lion. aiiays pain, cures wind collie. 25c. q bottle
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
His Attitude.

Looking for work, are your" asked
the good lady.
"Oh, not that bad, num-" answered
Mr.. Everett Wrest. 'Jist merely
waitin' fer it.''-Cincinnati Tribune.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20

Piso's Cure is wonderful Cough medi.
Blake AYES, Brooklyn, N. Y, Oct. &c, '94.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20

Karl's Glover Root, the great blood purifier.
gives freshness and clearness to the complex
lon and cures constipation. 25 cts., 50 cts, IL.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20

DR.. Kimer's SWAMP ROOT cures
all Kidney and Bladder troubles.
Pamphlet and Consultation free.
Laboratory Binghamton, n. Y.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
The Valentine He Sent.
BY EMMA A. OPPER.
ERRNARD BENT.

1RhNahD DLNI-
ley, the young
artist from the
city, s n a t c b Q d
down his canvas,
strapped his easel
and paint-box aud
ca m p-s t o ol t o.
gether, and strobe
toward home, or
toward the Trum-
bull Hotel.
There " q 8 q
black snow-cloud
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20

It is difficult for man crooked in his ways
to walk straight before his fellow men.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20

1t takes something more than argument to
satisfy hungry audience.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20

II afflicted with sore eyes use Dr.. Isaac Thcmp.
sons Eye.wste Druggists sell at 25c per bottle,
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
How the Wind Roars.

How the Wind Ronrs!
How the vessel tosses at sea! Reader, did you
ever cross the "briny?" If so, we will bet a
good cigar you were sea sick. Don't deny the
soft impeachment. If you had Hostetter's
Stomach Bitters with you, you were all right,
otherwise not. This medicinal cordial re-
leves every disturbance Of the stomach. liver
and bowels, malaria, rheumatism and kidney
trouble, and is highly commended by tourists
and commercial travellers.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20

not see for two or
three days at a
time. I became 80
I could not walk
ut tim es. The
rheumatism had
such a hold on mo
I never expected
to get well. At
last I decided to
try Hoods Sarsa-
parilla. The first
bottle helped my
appetite and be-
fore the second
vns all Nona nv
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
An Important Difference,

There is no progress, however rapid, but
that clouds may intervene.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
Gould Not Walk
Rheumatism in Hips & Back

Eyesight Affected but Hoods Sar-
sapariila Cures All.
AT was troubled with pains in nv back
and hips. Ny eyes swelled so that 7 nonld
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
ON THE ROAD.

g. to recovery, the.
young woman
who is taking
-. Doctor Pier fee's
=. ,-..-5FavuthsPte
scriptio In
maid nhood, wo.
s manhood, wife.
Hood and tnoth1
. ethood the I" Pre-
! sciptioti % Is a
supporting tonic
\ and nervin e
Y that's peculiarly
adapted to het
needs, regulating,
etigtheilir1g and cur-
, the defangen1ents
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
a1a0 Reward. 210n.

Tho greatest conqueror is he who can con
oupr himself,
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-02-20
with a heaviness which startled th'

with a heaviness which startled the
landlord below.
The postofice-didn't he need some
postage-stamps2
He had his overcoat haE on before
his sterner judgment prevailed.
Whew it was showing furiously; he
would get lost in it.
He poked the fire and lighted his
lamp, in desperation, and his dis
quieted eyes fell suddenly on the cal
endar on the wall.
February-the twelfth. H'm His
enthralled heart bounded. By George |!
he would, anyhow. They were going
out of style, he supposed, but that was
all right; she wouldn't mind that. He
would make handsome one, a stun
ming one. Thank goodness that he
brought his water colors!
Good! He would take all day to-
morrow, if necessary. Lemuel Parks's
meadow was under the snow, anyhow
he couldn't go on with that.
He whisked his paper and colors out
Of his trunk, drew out the table,
rubbed back his hair, executed a
round dance in the centre of the room
and went to work.
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1895-05-16
she PRICED THINGS.

From the Chicago News.
A lady in bugled cape and love
of bonnet went into State street
silversmith's Saturday and drifted
into strange department. Pointing
into a showcase, she said, GLOW
much is that silver pie knife with the
ivory handle?"
"That is not pie knife" answered
the clerk. "That is trowel used to
lay the corner stone of building.
1t puts on the last trowelful of NOR
tar, ard is given to the one who
uses it,"
"Well, it would be a pie knife if
my husband got it," replied the Gus
toner.
After awhile she continued: "How
much is that beautiful silver basin?"
"That," said the clerk, mildly, "is
not a basin; it is a bason-an aims
bason." Then he explained that a
basin was used for water, whereas a
bason was used to receive money
offerings in an Episcopal church.
Then, as the woman drifted toward
the realm of souvenir spoons the
clerk looked at the hall clock man.
She came back again, and, pointing
to brass lecturn, wanted to know
how much that music stand might be
and whether it was not strange to
have such things in jewelry store.
"This is not really a jewelry
store," continued the clerk, affably.
"You see, this is a goldsmith's, but
there is little distinction of the terms
in the west. We have a jewelry
department down that way. This is
the ecclesiastical department"
swell, declared" said the lady,
whose shopping instinct waf now
really aroused. SHOW much would
that cost, now?"
The panied clerk had to set a price
on pocket pyx, get out the cruet,
chalice, paten and ciborium, get out
an oilstock, make an estimate on the
luuotte and monstrance, and exhibit
an SIS font.
When it was all over the woman
cast one lingering look at the pie
knife and asked which way Monroe
street was.