The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1895-01-10
A GREAT LECTURE,
JUMPIN' JOE OF CHEROKEE IN
A NEW ROLE.

He Does Himself IfProud-Niagary Falls,
the Alps, NapoIean and the Pilgrim
Fathers All Shown Up in Their True
Light, With Side Remarks by the
Lecturer.
l hev bin reshinglin, repaintin and
otherwise improvin the lectur' which
goes with my panoramy until it now
stands forth bold faced and enthoo-
siastic as follers:
Pictur' Of Niagary Falls" This
plctur' represents one Of the most
notorious and successful waterfalls on
the face of the airth. 1t has bin rushin
biziness fur the last ten or fifteen
thousand vars, workin twenty four
hours day and seven days in a week,
and the performance isn't half over Wit.
| sot out with detarminashun to git
thar or bust, and though leetle old
fashioned in some of its ways it has
secoored the confidence of the Critica |
public and established reputashun OF
which it may we'll be proud. Feller
critters, as yer gaze upon this patriotic
wonder Of natur' let it be a great
moral warnin to ye 10 persevere in
the paths of sobriety, integrity and
trooth. Thar's nuthin but plain water
yere, nuthin mixed in and no nutmeg
floatin around on top to flavor it, and
even if ye own saloon the moral is
plain and can't be disputed. At the
proper time l shall interdooce my
jumpin frog and Civ everybody present
an opportunity to bet that he can't
jump nine feet without any sort of
encouragement from the Undersigned"
Pictur' OF the Alps" Thar ar no
pertickler moral lesson connected with
this pictur', but who among this
cultivated and enlightened aujeence kin
gaze upon it without bein impressed
by the mighty power of natur'? The
Horsepower required to heave up the
alrth and create SIGH mountains as
these is sunthin beyond calkerlashun.
The Alps, as nigh as kin make out,
ar mostly in Switzerland. The idee
was to git 'em all in thar, but it was
too crowded, and a few had to hunt
other locashuns. 1t ar needless to
add that fall from the top of one of
them peaks to the vally below would
seriously injoore any one not used to
SIGH performances. My Cherokee
sassyparilly kin be taken in Connection
with this pictur' with the happiest
results. Warranted to tech the vital
spot in case any remains to be
reached"
Pictur' of Napoleon.-" This pic,ur'
represents a critter whose career
furnished the hull world a moral lesson
to profit by. He wasn't satisfied with
good thing, but itched and yearned
and ached to git sunthin bigger and
better. He was maxim his $40 a day
and over as emperor of France, with
the best of board and lodgin throwed
in, when he got the big head and
started out to round up the hull
creashun. He fit and fit, and he
licked everything he run up agin fur
two or three vars, but just as he got
ready to swing his ole hat and declar'
that he was the broadest and biggest
and heftiest kuss on the claim along
cum an army which throwed him
down and made dog meat of him. Be
not too vain and conceited and puffed
up. Be not too ambishus to conker
and win new power. When ye hev
good thing, hold on to it and hev hoss
sense huff to know what a good thing
ar. Ambishun and enthoosiam ar
to be cultivated with profit up to a
sart;n pint. When ye git beyand tina,
when ye jump on yer hat and declar'
that ye ar the only critter in the
world who weighs ton and kin bite
railroad spike in two at one chaw,
thar's a calamity gittin ready to
stampede and run over We and tread
ye into the airth. War yer hat on
yer ear like Napoleon, sot on yer hoss
as ye see him thar, but don't let
vainglor'us ambishun gallop ye up
agin a barbed wire fence on a dark
night. My magic cement, warranted
to be the best thing ever used by a
respectable family, kin allus be bought
arter the close of each exhbishun."
Pictur' the Landin Of the Pilgrims.
-"At iust sight of this pictur' the
gineral idee among my large and
cultivated aujeence is that these pilgrim
fathers and mothers hev heard of
boom in America and ar in 4 power
full hurry to stake out claims and git
two or three towns under way. That
idee does them injustice. They ar
simply in s'arch of personal liberty,
and they hev cum to the right spot TO
find it. As nigh as kin hgger, they !
was cheerfully willin to live on roots
fur the sake of doing as they pleased |
and folerin out thar own Convick-
shuns. You and me can't be pilgrim
fathers and mothers, bekase the time
has passed for SIGH enterprises, but We
kin live on roots and ioller out con-
vickshuns and hev our names and
deeds descend to fucher ginerashuns
on the pages Of history. Don't git .
these pilgrims mixed up with any wild |
west show O, the crowd which signed .
the Declarashuns of Independence,
but keep 'em in 4 heard by themselves
till properly branded. AS the pictur'
slides from yer sight please remember
that hev an eddecated hog with this
grand aggregashun whose cuteness will !
be exhibited later on without any sort
of colleckshun bein tooken up 10
defray expenses /
Pictur' Of the Landin OF Columbus.
" Is thar patriot or patriotess in this