davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-02-28

The king Of Dahomey received some
hrupp cannon not long ago, and conceived
the idea of having them mounted on ele-
phants backs for use in the field saws
the Amusing Journal.
With much difficulty this project was
carried out, and at the military review
the king ordered that one of the guns be
nred Immediately in front of the royal res
ldence, first taking the precaution to place
a couple of thousand prisoners where it
was calculated the ball would strike. so as
10 Judge Of the effectiveness of the shot
Wnea all was ready one of the biggest
elephants was backed around and sight
ed. just as the lanyard was jer6ed. how
ever the animal turned half round to
reach for peanut or something and the
shell took off the prime minister's head
and Knocked hole as big as a sewer
through the royal palace.
His majesty wouldn't have cared so
much If the matter had ended there-as
the minister wasn't very prime and the
palace needed Ventilation-but it didn't
On the contrary the elephant. which had
been stood on its head by the reCOil picked
itself up in a fury and started in on the
down grade ahead of its ticket
1t upset the grand stand the very first
rush, slung the grand chamberlain and
the past grand carver Of missionaries into
the next street. 1t then jumped into the
brass band with all four feet, and if it
hadn't gotten the big drum over its head
so that 1t couldn't see it would probably
have cleaned out the entire congregation.
The king was not found until the next
morning, and then, as he slid down out of
a banana tree, he was heard to remark
that there was only one thing needed to
success-that was to get the enemy to
ADOPT it.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-02-28
% I'D EdIson.. EarIg seheme..

at was while Thomas Fafsor and 7
were co-tramD or,ar9fors t0a-efh.-r long 60
that the then verv arnt,sirP sre-lits 81 me
great inventor was made r0srifesf and
utilized hv him ia sribsarve. .his r.l-rDozes
in obtaining sleeD while on durv al a small
town in New YORK state" said CoI. n. 81
Weir. presfdear IF rhe Adams F,xrress
Company. to a Cincinnati En0uirer re-
porter We bad both secured Situations
as operators al tha rafIvav srati0u
being the day and Sir. Edison me night
man. As Mr. T8isOnrs whole mind was
absorbed in Ms electrical Studies ne spent
his entire time when Sri dtItv ana sflrtsosed
To be Sleeping fn ais ax1e-1-in1arts and
when the time FOR him 10 relieve she dav
man came he was very much rneutaIIv and
physically fatfeIted IN facr / nave seen
him come in tha Once to begi1 as DAVIS
work almost worn our Bur fo-rlluatsfv
there was little FOR hirn to II. other man
answer the calls sent over the wire every
two hours hy file jisrascbar ~ ,s.artsf-,
if an the operators we're on lft,tv. n F,sIi-
son 10 have TO keep awake for sflch trivial
duties as this was very irving. and though
then quite a noviate ne concaEved az 4 man
by which he could sIesp and wake in time
to answer the calls.
1T was this: Neay his instrument he
placed his cot md over the head 81 thar
he placed a bucket BY means of a rub
Der tube hi. couveye1 the t-arsr fro',7 ! N
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-02-28
BRIGHT BITS.

A little girl, busy working a pair of
slippers as a birthday present for her
grandfather, said to a little playmate
'Ah, you are well off, you are; your
granddad has only one lcgr'-Le Masque
de Fer.
Amy parlor matches, lady?' he asked
as he offered a bundle of his wares Not
yet answered the mother Of four daugh-
ters; "but We hope TO make some before
spring and she closed the door on the
astonished ch4vender.-Detroit Free
Press.
Slug One-Ain't there a copyright law in
this country?
Slug Seven-Of course there is Why?
Slug One-Nothin'. only | wish some
one would call the attention of that new
reporter to it. He's had his copy right
only three times In six weeks, an blamed
If l amt gettin' tired of correctin' it fer
him.-Buffalo Courier.
Janitors wife (St Fashion Flats)-A
number of the fine ladies in the upper flats
called on me to-day and stayed here chat
ting quite while.
Janitor-You ought to feel proud
Janttors wifc--Y -e-s, but the trouble is
| can't tell whether they came because
they liked me, or because they wanted
to set warm.-New York Weekly.
Good morning, Mrs. GiIligan How is
Patrick this morning. Sure he is no
better, sor WIN don't you send him to
the hospital to be treated p ITO be treated
is it2 Faith, an it's the delirium trim
mings he has already. Texas Siftfugs
Allow. do YOU know that Maler has
come in for q fortune2
B-Why, formerly people always said he
was crazy now they say he is original
Lustige Batter
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-02-28
Rheumatism Quicl1Iy Cured.

Abel Pettigrew, a farmer who lives on
the Westdeld road, near Springfield, n. j.,
suffered with rheumatism all winter, says
the New y Ork sun. Last week both feet
were so swollen that he was not able to
leave his bed. A neighb0r suggested as a
remedy that half a dozen bottles of hot
water be placed in the bed close to the
swollen feet, the water to be as hot as the
patient could stand It. The bed on which
Pettierew lay was in the kitchen. When
he heard of the remedy he told his wife
to get half a dozen empty beer bottles
and fill them with water and place them
in the oven to get warmed. Mrs. Petit
grew did SO. In few minutes there was
a loud explosion, which was rapidly fol-
lowed by several others. The oven doors
were blown off and the pieces sent skirl-
ing over the room.
Mrs PettiereW shrieked and ran out
Mr. Pettigrew yelled, jumped out of bed
and ran across the room and into the
road He ran on for a few hundred yards
and then stopped, turned around and
waited to see his house blown up. There
ing was heard after a safe interval Mr.
and Mrs. Pettigrew Ventured TO return
The stove was a wreck. the window paneS
were broken, a big patch of the ceiling
lay on the floor, and broken glass was all
around. The six bottles had exploded.
This was on Friday night, and since then
Farmer Pettigrew has had no rheumatism.
Neither has he used any other remedy.
He has not quite made up his mind
whether the rheumatism was scared out
of him or whether the 300-yard sprint
down the icy road in his bare feet eff
fected the cure.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-02-28

II once produced Yoricks skull from a
real grave" remarked BILLY Crosby to
the Chicago Times 1T was years ago.
in Virginia City. New. when that was a
was maintained at Piper's opera house,
on B street. The theater was bUilt-the
whole town was on the steep side Of
Mount Davidson. A street was thirty or
forty feet higher than 'B street. so that
they had to blast out rock to make a level
for the theater The stage rested square
on rock. We got along very well until
Booth came there and Hamlet was to
be produced of course We could not get
along without a grave, so a section of the
stage was sawed out. and some workmen
with crowbars and picks dug down about
three feet.
Booth knew nothing about this until
the grave dlgger's scene was on. I was
the first grave digger, and as Hamlet APP
preached l lifted my pick and began dig
ging for keeps. You know, we usually
lift the pick alOft and do business of
digging letting the pick fall lightly on a
box of earth, which is on the trap plat
form where we stand. But [ pitched in
and picked like a good fellow. and when
Booth heard the steel ring out from my
hard knocks against the honest rock he
was the most surprised looking Hamlet
| ever saw. He got between the grave
and footlights, facing up stage, and
looked down into my real grave with a
puzzled smile and whispered.
What have we here, Grave Digger
We're going in for Shakespearean
realism" / whispered out, throwing out
a shovelful of rock l had loosened.
Booth went on with the scene all right.
but whenever he faced up stage he would
look down into that real grave and smile
it more carefully and got down into the
grave"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-02-28

The action taken In the House Of Com
mons Tuesday. and reported in our Euro
pean dispatches yesterday. makes Il al
most certain that there win be another
international monetary conference in the
near future. The English government Is.
of course. strongly opposed 70 making any
change IN its monetary system. but there
is strong ana growing sentiment among
the English people in favor Of some sort
81 an agreement for the larger use Of sill
yer in the currency systems Of the nations.
While it is true that absolutely nothing
was accomplished by the last information
81 conference. it does not follow that moth
ing would be accomplished by a conference
at This time. The conditions are more IA
vorable now for accomplishing something
than they were then. That this is true is
shown by the action that has just been
taken by the House Of Commons and b.
the similar action which was taken by the
Rcichstag "a Few days ago. There is In
France also a strong and growing sentI-
ment IT, favor Of remonetlzing silver. IT
viii be seen, therefore. that another con-
'- fNt-i+ it++FN - A-4At4 Hti -itsct sup
port than the one that met In Brussels at
the request Of this country, and might.
therefore, have a better result
This country is, of course, anxious for
a conference. There is no opposition to
much larger use OF silver. or TO what is
called bi-metallism, provided there is
agreement TO that effect among the great
commercial nations. For this country
alone however, to undertake the free and
unlimited coinage of silver would mean
silver monometallism, and that would re-
suit in widespread financial disaster. That
this country would commit such folly is
hardly within the bounds Of probability.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-02-28
CARS Lottery Resolution.

Senator Can must be greatly diappoint-
ed at his failure to have his resolution
to thoroughly investigate the Honduras
lottery concern that has its headquarters
at Tampa passed. He has been most per-
sistent in his efforts to have a commit
tee appointed TO find out all about the af-
fairs and purposes of this lottery con-
Germ, but somehow or other the Senate
has not sympathzed with him. When
first introduced his resolution provided
for a sort of drag-net Investigation. 1t
was a yoluminous affair and outlined
work enough to keep "a committee of
equity and sleepy senators at work for
several months. The aim of il was to
find out all about the business Of the
lottery company, and whether the com
pany was the owner Of newspapers. or
contributed money to help support them.
whether it was taking hand in the cleo
ton of congressman and members of the
state legislature and whether it was US
ing the mails and the interstate railroads
contrary to law to carry on its business.
Had Senator Can made his resolution
simpler at the outset it might have met
with better success. The senators evil
IDENTIFY thought he wanted to know too
much and was moved by desire to break
up the lottery for personal reasons rather
than for the public good. But whatever
they thought it is certain they did not
seem to be so deeply interested in the
resolution as Senator Can was. and so
they side-tracked it. and side-tracked it
win remain for the remainder of this
congress.
one inference from the wording OF the
resolution as it was when originally in
troauced is that the senator is inclined
to the belief that there are papers in
Florida which are supported by the lot
terry. If this inference is correct the
senator must have in mind those papers
which do not appear TO be friendly to him.
1t must be admitted that there are papers
in the state which do not appear to re-
gard him as the most desirable man to
be one Of the senator's Of the state. They
are quick to publish anything that is cal
cuiated to 3essea the respect of his CON
stituents for him, and the senator not in
frequently exposes himself to various
kinds of attack. lie appears to regard the
Washington correspondent as particular
ly Objectionable. If he were as wise in
dealing with the correspondents as he is
in dealing with some other matters he
would make friends instead of enemies
of the correspondents.
His lottery resolution may meet with
better success in the next congress. 1t
certainly win If he succeeds better in
showing that what he wishes to do is for
the public good rather than for the graf
incation of personal feelings in respect
to an institution that appears to be
against him.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-02-28
Eeusskesgers wars ths BertFooa;

Eozsskespers Wait ths BeEt Foo65
What Scientists say:
Prof. Arnold Of the University Of
New York: ST consider that each and
every ingredient OF oleomargarine but
ter or butterine IS perfectly pure and
wholesome. that the olcomargarine
butter differs in no essential manner
from the butter made from cream. L
is great discovery, blessing for the
poor, in every way perfectly pure,
wholesome and palatable article.
Silver Churn Butterine is prepared
especially for fre table use. Every de-
tail of its manufacture is perfect. Re.
cent chemical experiments show that
in rutritive and digestive properties
Silver Churn Butterine is fully equal to
the best creamery butter; while in
keeping quality Silver Churn Butterine
IS much superior.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-02-28

Newspaper men art Washington and else
where appear too much disposed to make
a freak of the new senator from South
Carolina They are surprised that there
is $50 little Of the hayseed about him, {"
and that "'he dresses as well as the aver
age congressman" because, as they al
loge, 1--we years ago he had never been
sixteen miles from home, and had never
seen a locomotive" Such stun is rot. Mr..
Tillman is an educated man, and comes
from a section of his state noted for its
refinement, quite as much as for the hot
blood of its sons. He saw a locomotive-if
that is a measure of ainly
as much as nineteen years ago, when he
went over to the neighborhood of Augusta
or some urgent business for the Demo
cratic party His hayseed ways are prln-
cipaly for political effect. An old confed-
crate colonel of cavalry one day watched
Tllman, whom he had never seen before,
fguratively comb his hair for hayseed dur
ing political speech, THAT man." said
the colonel, after deep study-"that man
is a gentleman in Disguise"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-02-28
The HomeGoing OF the Congressman.
From the New York Post Gndl.

Representatives Of neither party will
uents when they return 70 their homes
next week The ine1iciency Of the demo-
too generally taken the position openly
avowed by an Ohio congressman, that he
would vote even on a question Of the ma
tional welfare. like the recent bond bill
to put the democrats in a hole" a large
manufacturer of Cincinnati, who is him
self republican, quotes this remark in
a letter to the Tribune of that city and
severely condemns the representative of
his party Who take this narrow view Of
their duty. When such congressman get
away from Washington, they win realize
once more how sadly their political vision
has been blurred by the unhealthy moral
atmosphere that pervades the national
capital
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-02-28

The Chicago Herald does Mr.. ST. John,
president of the Mercantile Bank of New
York an injustice. Banker St. John is
slIverite. He is very persistent in his adj
vocacy Of the free and unlimited coinage
Of silver, but ne may not be quite as
much of a silverite in practice as he is in
theory. He is about the only prominent
fnancer in New York who believes that
the free and unlimited coinage of silver
would be a good thing for the country.
Recently he wrote to Congressman
Springer as follows: Urge the Secretary
Of the Treasury to exercise the option con
ferred upon him by law to redeem the
United States notes in standard silver dol
lars. The achievement will be. in all de-
tails and in every respect, a happy one
on the other hand, if the Secretary of the
Treasury still negleets this opportunity
the neglect may prove one more just
ground for fault-hnding with his adminis-
tration of public finances"
In answering Mr.. st. Johns letter Mr.
Springer wrote that Banker st. John had
the same Opportunity" to pay all checks
on his bank in silver dollars that the
treasury has to pay silver dollars for
greenbacks. and in conclusion said; IF
you should pursue this course for rea-
sonable time the achievement would be
in all details and in every respect a happy
one. on the other hand. if you should neg
lect this opportunity the neglect may prove
one more ground for fault-fnding with
those hnanciers who preach one doctrine
and practice another"
Banker ST. John has not, of course.
accepted the advice of Mr.. Springer, His
reasons for not accepting it are not known.
1t may be assumed that they are good
ones.
In commenting upon the correspondence
between Mr.. Springer and Banker St.
John the Chicago Herald says: by the
way. there is a curious story ahoat to
the effect that some one, who is designated
only as one of the most ardent silver
ties has been sailing away no less than
81, 100000 in gold. Can it be that Banker
ST John is the person referred to? Can
it be that he put aside 100000 of gold
in the expectation of getting a premium
on it shortly? Can it be that he wanted
Secretary Carlisle TO refuse gold and pay
only silver dollars for greenbacks in or
der to put a premium on the former and
take snug profit on $1,000, COO"
This inference of the Herald is unjust
to Mr. st. John. Those who know him
will vouch for it that he has not been
slowing away gold with the hope Of get
ting a premium on it. He is not the sort
of a man to advise the Secretary of
the Treasury to pursue a course that
would put gold at premium in order that
he might be benefited by selling gold at
a premium. stll tho correspondence
leaves the impression that he is a better
siverite in theory than in practice.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-02-28

A railroad system in Pennsylvania has
adopted unique ticket-redemption sys-
tenn which it is thought will prove Of
great convenience 10 its patrons. Its
mileage ticket coupons will pass as cur
rency at hotels and theaters in every
some cities clothing, furnishing and other
stores will accept them. The idea is 10
accommodate travelling men who may find
themselves short Of cash and lack the
time to wait for a remittance. The cou-
pons are redeemable for their face value
in cash at any Of the companys ticket
offices.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-02-28

A rival to the Sultan of Turkey has
been discovered in Ohio at town called
East Callipolis. For an unknown number
OF years he has been living there with
four wives. all of the women dwelling
happily together under one roof with
their lord, who had evidently discovered
the secret Of harmony in the harem. Re
Gently he proposed to add a fifth wife to
his stock, and it was not until then that
the neighbors objected. At last advices
they were talking about Directing with
hickory switches and tar and feathers.
In so far as the dispatch detailing the
affair shows. nobody had thought about
a certain institution called the law.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-02-28

Such climatic conditions" as are fav-
orabie to New England cotton mills in
winter are made to order within the
walls Of the mills. The Climatic condl-
tons on the outside frequently reduce
the canals at water power mills to solid
sheets of ice and stop the turbines. In
the south it seldom happens that run
ming streams are frozen, and any kind
of artificial Climatic conditions" wanted
inside the mills can be made as easily in
Georgia as in New England.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-02-28
washington's Notion About the Sen.

Sir John Macdonald, the first prime min
lister of Canada, says the Philadelphia
Record, was fond of relating this story
to illustrate the need of an upper house:
OF what use is the Senator? asked
a cup of tea in his hand, pouring the tea
into the saucer.
you have answered your own question, I"
replied Washington.
What do you mean?"
why do YOU pour that tea into the
saurer?"
ITO cool it,"
Even So" said Washington. THE Senate
IS the saucer into which we pour legisla-
ton to cool"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-02-28

A queer state OF affairs has arisen in
Queens county. New York from the ac-
tivity of county constables in working up
fees. They set an average Of s. 10 s. in
fees for every tramp arrested. During
the winter they have been doing quite a
brisk business in tramps. until 800 Of them
are ia jail So close had become the
competition among the constables that
some Of them were forced to divide the
fees with the tramps arrested. The 300
tramps IN jail are costing the taxpayers
500 week. They get chicken once a
week, pie every Wednesday and large
quantities Of food every day Naturally
The tramps like TO stay in Jail during the
winter The county supervisors say it Is
the duty Of the warden Of the Kings
county penitcntiary to take the tramps.
The warden won't do il. The supervisors
are trying to force him to DO so. The
tramps fake sides with the warden. They
don want to be moved They claim the
right 70 stay in Jail, ard talk Of employing
counsel to defend their rights in court.
Some of the tramDs are well to DO and
have bank accounts, which they are viii
ms TO tap in behalf Of their alleged right
to stay ia jail where they may sing,
dance. play cards and see their friends.
ana where the feed is regular and good.
a rather unusual controversy is agitat-
ing the people Of Cleveland, 0. It seems
that IN some of the schools. dancing forms
a part Of the physical exercises. Some Of
the church people object to that kind Of
thing. and have taken steps to have the
dancing stopped. They object on the
ground that dancing IS morally injurious
on the other hand. the friends of the
dancers have secured physicians certia-
Gates to the effect that dancing when not
carried to excess is physically beneficial
A dispatch says the anti-dance people
seem likely to win.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-02-28
some Forethought Needed.
From sprlnsaeld CaIass) Republicandnd)

Organized labor in some quarters seems
to be losing its head. The electrical work
ers at New York are acting as if higher
wages and shorter hours and a scarcity
Of idle workmen were the order of the
day. And the men in the building trades
seem to be labOrins under the same i'm
preston, and threaten sympa thetic
strike in behalf OF the electrical workers
Recent strikes have shown that for every
man who quits his place there are two or
three ready to take it even in the face of
riotous opposition, and yet more strikes
are being projected. The people at work
seem to be a little too particular in view
Of the numbers Of those out of work.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-02-28

1t is hardly fair to blame Chinese com
manders for all of the disasters that have
overtaken their troops and ships during
the war with Japan At Wei-Hai-W Wei
there were eleven white officers in com
mand OF various subdivisions of the
defenses. Some OF them We're German.
some English and one American. So far
as is known not one of them developed
ability or even bravery under fire. The
Chinese instinctively hating the foreign
devils, probably had not a grain of con-
fdence in their leaders; and no soldier
can fight his best under a leader in whom
he lacks confidence. 1t may be that the
Chinese would have given a better ac-
count of themselves if they had been
commanded altogether by natives.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-02-28
As TO n Money Conference.
From the Philadelphia Record Dem3.

1t is expected in Washington that SEN
ator Wolcotts resolution to empower the
President to appoint delegates to any
monetary conference that may be ar
ranged in Europe viii be passed before
Adjournment. There is no harm in CON
ferences Of this sort; yet if the interna-
tional silver conference is to end as the
international seal conference ended II
would be money in the governments peck
ct to send regrets instead OF Joining the
party