The record-union., 1895-05-25
TEE HOUSE ON THE ZIGZAG.
Written for the REooRp-UNIos.l

written for the RECoRD-UNIoN,l
so you really want to go to house
keepingp' asked Jack, for at least the
1ortleth time that day, and he paced up
and down our sitting-room at the board
ing house, his hands clasped behind his
pack, and cigar in his mouth, at which
ne was pulling away vigorously. l was
seated before the fire toasting my toes and
playing idly with my little Skye terrier
Dom Pedro, amusing myself by tying his
long silken ears into various and sundry
knots, thereby sending him into impo-
tent agonies of wrath. and causing him to
make sundry vain and futile efforts at
escape. l nodded an affirmative answer
to this question without taking the trouble
to turn around.
II don't see why you want to make a
change" growled Jack, scowling at him.
self IN The glass. and gnawing the end OF
his cigar. I'VE are very well fixed here"
sweeping comprehensive glance around
our cozy, comfortable room containing
dainty bits OF fancy work, here aud there
pieces of rare and costly bric-a-brac, for,
before Jack settled down in life to a
had been a great traveller. BESIDES, l
hate moving" wound up my liege lord
and master, with all a mans instructive
dislike OF worry and disorder.
but want change. jack" pouted,
showing Dom Pedro of my lap, and ha II
turning in my chair 10 look at Jack, who
still continued his moody pace up and
down the room. 'Pve never been house
keeping in my life, and l think it would
hOnlQ q
own.'
Fun" re-eohoed Jack, wrathfully,
throwing the stump OF his cigar in the
CRATE. and gazing down at me as l sat
coiled up in the big armchair. "Yes, it
would be deucedly funny when the cook
packed up some day and left you in the
lurch TO get the dinner, wouldn't it?"
Then Jack shifted his position bit,
and leaned his elbow on the mantel shelf
expectantly, but as l vouchsafed no re-
ply TO his question, he went on:
Now, just TO crafty a little pardona-
BILE curiosity l have upon the subject
allow me to ask what can you cook?
Anything?"
II can cook hard boiled eggs and make
potato salad" replied with what dig
nifty l can command. l am rapidly
growing wrathful at Jack, who ought to
know better than to cast aspersions
upon my ability as cook, or anything
else. He wouldn't have done SO two
years ago. but that was before we
were married, and things were different
in those halcyon days Of our courtship.
l am almost on the verge of tears, but
manage TO control my emotion while l
say that l can soon learn to cook a great
many things; but Jack laughs sarcasti
cally. He can occasionally be particu-
larly aggravating, and tonight is one of
those times.
"Hard-boiled eggs and potato salad!
Truly an appetizing feast TO set before
hungry man. How long will be
obliged TO subsist upon this somewhat
questionable diet before you learn to
cook the other things. eh, Dido? And
In the mean time have you thought what
internal havoc will be played with my
digestive organs if l were confined to
such menu three times day?"
Then Jack pauses for want of breath,
while l, quite overcome, give way to my
no longer to be controlled grief. Pro-
ducing tiny lace bordered poke hand
kerchief from one of those dear, delight
fully mysterious places which women
delight in, proceed to weep into it with
praiseworthy ardor in spite of its dimin-
utive size.
This action on my part breaks Jack all
up. Like the rest Of his sex he hates to
see a woman cry, especially if he thinks
he capitulates upon the spot, and the end
of the matter is that l have my way in
this as well as in everything else where
Jack is concerned.
The very next day I went to an enter
prising house agent, and in his company
looked over all the available houses he
had on his list. l will never forget what
a weary, unsatisfactory day it was. Not
one of the houses suited me, and when l
returned to my boarding-house at night,
tired and discouraged. and almost hating
the world in general, ii required all of
Jacks reinsurance to induce me to start
out the next day. Each day / went
bravely forth only to return at night,
cross and disappointed. l began to look
upon house-renting agents as sworn foes
to the race of womankind desiring to rent
available houses, and no words can ade-
quately express the opinion l held of
grasping landlords who would not make
needful improvements upon would-be
desirable houses when good and pros
pective tenant was in view.
However, as ''all things come to him
who waits" SO at last my chance came to
me. 1t was just about the time l was
nearly giving my quest up in despair
that Jack came home one night and told
me of house he had seen that day which
he thought might suit us. / received
this intelligence in gloomy silence; new
ertheless / took the agents address, who
happened to be one l had not yet con-
suited, and next morning in his company
looked over the house. 1t was square
two-story building painted light brown.
Its chief attraction in my eyes was the
splendid view OF the grand and faraway
snow-capped mountains which could be
obtained from its large, roomy bay win
dows.
The house stood almost on the top of
iol, nd Gto
hill. 1 found the rooms. seven in all, to
be rather small, but this was an advant-
age than otherwise, as L confess, the
thought of staying all day alone in a big
house had not been a very cheerful one.
A large garret in the roof reached by a
ladder from the hall upstairs, completed
the interior.
Into the house we moved. and took
up housek seping for the first time on my
own account. l was chlldishly delighted
with everythlng in my new house-took
great interest in experimenting things,
though, in reality, Jack was the power
behind the throne, and he aided and
helped me over all the rough places.
Our cook was an Irish jewel and showed
no disposition to leave. while l, taking
time by the forelock. was, under her
tuition, rapidly developing into first
class culinary artist. My secret am mbiIion
was to learn to cook so well that some
day / could give Biddy well-deserved
holiday and cook the dinner all myself.
at last the opportunity came when [
felt proficient in this most necessary art,
and after the breakfast dishes had been
washed and dried, and Jack had gone to
the office, L startled that worthy damsel,
Biddy, by suddenly announcing that she
could have that day tor holiday. The
sky was overcast by great threatening
clouds, and stiff breeze was blowing
which bore upon its breast suspicion of
Sl,a ha