Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-08
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND Do
INGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Joke1ets that Are Supposed
to Have Been Recently Born-SayinGs
and Doings that Are Odd, Curious and
Lau.hable-The Weeks Humor.
Let Us All Laugh.

Laushable-The Weeks Humor.
Let Us All Laugh.
| This world would land in glory yet
And make lively stir, i
If in these days we could forget
The mad thermometer! ~
! Atlanta Constitution.
The Wife-It must be bedtime. Hus-
, band-Hardly; the baby hasn't walked
up yet-Life.
"Hi, Jimmy. wot's de matter?'
Backs blistered." "Swimmin' Or lick
IMP" "Both."-Chicago Record.
''They say Hamsby is generous to a
fault" Eyes, he is, if it happens to be
one of his own faults. Buffalo Ex-
press.
Host-Never shall I forget the time
when first drew this sword. Chorus
When was that? Host-At a rattle
Firefy.
Young Man Tin periodical store)-I
want a Fireside Companion. Lady
Clerk (archly)-How would do?-Tex-
as Siftings.
Al hear that your friend X. has
gone to South America. Was it upon
his physicians advice? B.-No; his
lawyers .-Tid-Bits.
The summer girl is great on changing
her suit. She goes seward with dia-
monds and returns home with hearts,
Yonkers Statesman.
Belle-Mr Jolyer is such nice man.
He said had a voice like bird. Nell
Yes; he told me you sang like an OWL
Philadelphia Record.
"Isn't he rather fast?" asked the anx-
ious mother. eyes, mamma, in one
sense of the word. don't think he can
get y."-Indianapolis Journal.
How to make the new dress: Take the
material for two skirts and make the
sleeves, then take the material for one
sleeve and make the skirt-Nashville
American.
Oh, sweetly tender was her look,
Her hair was bright as gold;
I bought three copies of her book,
And then her glance grew cold.
Chicago Times Herald.
Patient-The heat is so oppressive,
doctor, l feel like committing suicide.
Doctor-Oh, that would never do. AS I
said before, my friend, what you need
is change.-Life.
''Ihat woman dispenses a great deal
of social lemonade what do you
mean" Simply that she is always
i, :;
Indianapolis Journal.
"Papa!" What is it, johnny" II
read poem in my school reader which
spoke of dogs Of high degree
''Well?" Papa, does that mean skye
terriers ?''-Pittsburg Chronicle.
Nibbs-What a perfect poem the
counts rich wife is!'' Dibbs-Yes; the
count is the only man l know of who
can make poetry pay him thirty thou
sand year.-New York World.
Won't some inventor, sage or mentor,
Find that chief Of boons,
The wear-resisting, long-persisting,
Non-bagging pantaloons?
New York Recorder.
She-Oh, my! there's something gone
down my back! He-It's one Of those
laundering bugs, l suppose. mo; L
guess it's one of those lightning bugs,
George. "-Yonkers Statesman.
She-Do you know, Harry, father has
forbidden you the house? He-Forbid
den me the house! / never asked him
for his house His daughter is good
enough for me-Boston Transcript.
"Have you the Relics of By-Gone
Days?'" asked the young lady, enter
ing book store YES" replied the
polite clerk, with a bow, "we have some
of last years calendars. "-Yonkers
Statesman.
If bicycles known as "bike,' !,
A tricycle. must be a ''trike," /
And when winter comes round
1t will doubtless be found
That an icycle goes as an "ike."
Washington Star.
Lea (sadly)-I don't know what to do
with that son Of mine. He's been two
years at the medical college, and still
keeps at the foot of his class. Perrins,
(promptly)-Make a chiropodist of him.
Puck.
yes" said the girl who was chewing
gum, 'it is simply awful the way the.
poor people do suffer this frightful
weather. How I pity them! And the.
worst of it is, of course, that ones hair
simply won't stay in curl. New York
Recorder.
] Little Girl-Did the newspaper re-
porters notice your papa was at the.
great banquet last night? Little Boy.
Yes Little Girl-Mamma said she.
couldn't find your papa's name in the.
list. Little Boy-No, but the list ends
up with land others That means;
papa They always mention him that
way.-New York Weekly.