Blue-grass blade., 1895-01-13

godly names that think ought to be
changed by compulsory act of the Leg
islature, that always suggests to me the
days of the Barebones Parliament and
old Crook shanks, and Shanklin and the
whole Shanks family.
have been reading "Trilby" and was
struck by that allusion it makes to that
queer experience, we have all had, when
we get to thinking about any one word
in our language, until that particular
word seems so strange we begin to won
der If there is really any such word in
the language. The family name Shank
lin affects me that way, until I wonder
why in the devil any, man would want
to call any man Shanklin unless he had
something against the man.
AS Shanklin played a sort of second
fiddle, or "supe," according as we regard
him as in the orchestra, or on the stage,
of the dramatic high comedy entertain
ment in which Colonel John T. Shelby
and I carried the principle roles and did
the heavy work, we will dispose OF
Shanklin first.
When Colonel John T. Shelby intro
duced ME to his man Shanklin, and ex-
planned to me that Shanklin had been
brought along simply as a witness of
the words and deeds that we're likely to
fo1low-a kind of locker on in Venice,
as it were-I recognized the face as that
of a masculine bifurcation that had pre-
viously seen in the busy marts of men,
that had blonde complexion to it that
would do for one of these complexion
advertisements, but of which, further
than this. knew naught.
Won can fake hicr hr,uk IF dnuoh
and make face out of it, and it will al
ways have on it one feature that is very
fne-the complexion.
As the nation asked "Who in the hell
is Buck ?" when Senator Beck sent that
bugologist to South America, so, except
for the profanity of 1t involved, would
onel John T. Shelby introduced him,
and writing as am now in the country
do not know what Shanklin is, but
think he is lawyer, real estate man, or
insurance agent, the three learned pro-
fessions that seem to require the largest
brain force in this town. But since COM
ing to the country understand he is a
connection of Colonel John 7. Shelby.
would suggest to Colonel John T
Shelby that in any case, and more espe-
tally in those cases where veracity is in
evidence, as was in this one, that he
take along with him witnesses, who are
not relaled IN any way to Nim, and who
are not otherwise personally prejudiced
in his favor, and that the Colonel shall
take special pains to see that the man he
selects to umpire the game, without any
consultation with the party of the Sec
ond part, shall not take any part in the
game, and especially he shall not do so
on the Colonel's side, as the Colonel will
distinctly recollect was done, if his men,
ory retained, through the episode, its
wonted equilibrium, by the man Shank
ling-corrupted into Shanklin by the
Kentucky disposition to drop its final
g's-whom the valiant Colonel will ie-
member he introduced as merely dis
passionate witness, picked up on the
street, as l supposed, from the Colonels
explanation, entirely at random, just as
jurymen are selected, except that in the
case of jurymen perhaps, there is some
little more pains taken to see that they
are not exactly the right kind of men
than the Colonel took in the selection of
his man.
1t is all very fortunate however, Just
as it happened; for while very much
more damage than l received at the
hands of Colonel Shelby would not have
tempted me to strike him, or any man
my physical inferior, even if a $1,000
dollars had been offered ME to do SO, in
these hard times, l might have in an
unguarded moment been tempted to
change, very materially, the fine COM
pleXion of Shankling, man younger
than and big enough to be my physi-
cal equal, had even remotely suspected
that after hearing, as he did, Colonel
Shelby's statement of the terms upon
which Shankling was present, Shank
ling was intending to take hand in the
scrimmage; though l would not at all
have objected had Colonel Shelby stated
squarely and fairly, in the beginning,
that he brought along Shankling to
supplement his own Colonel Shelby 's)
shortage in avordupois; for Colonel Shell
by, with bigger and stronger stick
than he had, with Shanklin to do the
more materialistic part of scrimmage
in which the Colonel was to do the brain
work, would have just made a team
about fair to fight me, and feel but lit
tie doubt now that, had tried to do so,
could have thrown Colonel Shelby
ehAouSh shS piS SioSo VI ehS SSSohu Sto-
ry window where we were, and then
could have thrown Shanklin after him;
but | would not have done it because
the steam engine under the iron pave
ment under the window had melted the
recent snow bank off, and that iron
pavement has on it knots that would
have raised bumps not recognized in the
works and charts of the lamented Fowl
er, and which are not now found even
OH the highly phrenologic head of Col
onel Shelby.
Under all the circumstances, and with
all the light on the subject that had,
acted just as exactly as am now glad |
did act, and as | would Ihave acted had |
had two days instead Of two seconds to
mature my plans.
have never yet in my life, struck any
human being in anger, or any other way,
and hope never to do it, and am not
going to do it in anger any time, and
am not going to do it at all, until that
gets to be all that | can do. But if
ever do strike man | would, four to
one, rather strike big fellow and get
whipped than strike little man and
whip him.
After all the bulldozing have taken
from big fellows, if | were now to hit
some little man about as big as a cock
sparrow, | would feel like the biggest