davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29
"A LITTLE NONSENSE"

miss Wheeler was arrested
What for?'' mo bell on her bike
What did she do?' s'Wrung her
hands. yale Record.
Country Vicar-"Well, John, what
do you think of London?" Yoke1-
"Lor' bless yer, sir, it'll be fine place
when it, nished!''-Househo1d Words.
"A Soft Thing.-Dobson- Per-
kins has struck a snap" Domby-
You don't say!" Dobson-''Yes,
stepped on rat-trap in the dark last
night. Thine.
at it over your left shoulder She
pointed mutely to her balloon-sleeves
Chicago Record.
-''What're We up top asked crook,
as his pal lifted handful of coin out
of the money drawer. ''S-h-h! Don't
say word. It's a free silver move
ment of me own. "-Washington Star.
Saving said the populist board
er, sis merely habit $50 is a
beard,'' remarked the Cheerful idiot.
Just look how it grows on man as
he gets older. "-Indianapolis Journal.
-Teacher-s'Well, Tommy, you were
not present yesterday; were you de-
tanned at home in consequence of the
inclemency of the weather?' Tommy
NO, ma'am; 1 couldn't come cause
of the rain. Tit
-Clerk-''Yes, sir! That's one of
the best clocks we have in the store.
It goes eight days without winding. -
Hayseed-''Is tibet so? How long do
you figure she'll go when you do wind
her?"-Harper's Bazaar.
Mrs. Jonaes-"How do you do, Mr.
Brown? Flossie, this is Mr.. Brown;
he thinks everything of little girls -
Flossie-''Funny, but there's a man
who lives in our street with the same
colored name as u."-Boston Tran
script.
You're a wicked, lazy tramp!''
shouted the red-faced woman. Ma
DAM" rejOined the tourist, calmly. 81
decline to be drawn into any contro-
versy. You will take notice that do
not claim to be aJune bride. Detroit
Tribune.
superintendent Ito citizen sweep
ing the streets in the hot sun)-"You d
better put on your hat, Mike. This
blazing sunshine will affect your
brains" Mike-"Sure, do you think
I'd be sweeping the streets if I had
any brains, sir?''
Uncle, how do you stand on the
enforcement of the Monroe doctrine?'
Amt got no time to fool wild such, -
answered the old man. DE good.
straight Baptis' doctrine am good
enough for me, an it's been for nigh
more'D thutty yeahs. "-Cincinnat
Tribune.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29
CHEAP RATES

To @. A. Il National Encampmenfs Louis
Vile, KY. September II, IL and Is.
On September Sth to IIth, inclusive, the
Louisville, Evansville & ST. Louis Consoii-
dated Railroad (t'Air Line'') will sell tickets,
good returning until October 9th, 1895. The
rate via the "Air Line" barely amounts to
one cent per mile. This line is making spe-
cial preparations to afford visitors splendid
equipment and unexceled service; besides,
it is the shortest route, by So miles, between
St. Louis and Louisville, and makes the
quickest time.
See that your tickets read via "Air Line. >"
r. A. CAMPBELL, G.. p. A,
St Louis, Mo.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29
PERSONAL. AND iMPERsoNAL

"A Frenchman of some literary dis
tinction, after studying English for q
few months, wrote to an American
friend: -'In small time 1 can learn so
many English as I think / will come
to the America and go on the scafold
to lecture"
lis there something in the thirteen
superstition after all? On the thir-
teenth of last month an Ohio man left
home with only thirteen cents in his
pocket. Exactly thirteen minutes after
he was informed that an uncle who
had recently died left him thirteen
thousand dollars
"A man in Kansas City, with cigar
in mouth and match in hand, halted a
street ear, crossed to it, struck the
match on the car, coolly lighted the
cigar, thanked the gripnan, waved the
car on and returned to the sidewalk.
The gripZnan was hypnotized by the
fellows cheek, and amazedly ex-
claimed We'll, may be jiggered"'
In a recent speech in London Sir
Henry Irving mentioned his son as a
striking instance of the social ban
against the actor in England His son
is a barrister, and as such was eligible
to be presented at a levee held by the
prince OF Wales, but now being an ac-
tor, though still barriSter, the honor
is forbidden him.
Abraham Dehuff. who died July 3
at Erie, Pa. matchmaker by trade,
received in 1855 a gold medal at the
Pennsylvania state fair for making a
gold watch the size of a three-eent
piece. He afterward made two SINH
lar watches, one of which was pre-
sented to President Buchanan and the
other of which was purchased by the
prince of Wales during his tour of this
country.
M. Lobin de Laiaive. a venerable
but robust French gentleman, says of
his longevity: 81 have always Stunned
strong drink and reveled in sea bath,
ing. I used to be an even more intre-
pid swimmer than Lord Byron, and
never had to call a doctor in until /
was eighty-nine. AS regards tobacco,
I have consumed a verita BILE mountain
of cigars. My two greatest passions
have been reading and poetry, and
still write verses at the age of ninety
eight"
Col. North, the English nitrate
king, is now negotiating with the king
of Belgium for the purchase of the
beach between Ostend and the parish
of Mariakerke. situated few miles
to the south of the famous seashore
resort. This territory belongs to the
royal domains. and a bill permitting
the transfer of that property has been
introduced in the chambers. The pro-
ject of the English capitalist, who has
offered $780, 600 francs Isl, 500. OOO) for
the property, comprises new sea
bathing resort which shall surpass any
of those now existing in Europe.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29
Tarin REFORM Benefits.

The Iron and Steel association esti-
mates the present years production OF
pigiron at 9.OS5. 900 tons. This is
pretty close to the best record in the
history of iron production in the
United States. The maximum output
in single year is 9,2O2,7 0a tons. That
was five years ago. We shall do better
this year than we did in any year
under the Mckinley tariff. It is
worthy of note, too, that the business
improvement we hear SO much about
now did not begin until winter was
almost over. The iron industry was
the last to be affected by the revival
st. Louis Republic.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29
Merely Synonymous.

give always said," remarked Mr..
Scrubbles, "that too much education
jest amounted to maxim people furgit
all about common sense"
''What'S the matter?"
'tMy daughter this mornin' asked me
how 1 felt I told her was in purity
bad shape. oh papar said she, like
she was goin' to faint, don't you know
that bad shape is bad form? Ez if
anybody didn't know thatP'-Wash-
ingtOn Star.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29

a republican organ which heaps
daily abuse upon the president and the
secretary of the treasury says that
Cleveland and Carlisle have accepted
the financial principles of the repub-
Gcan party" It is notable that the
louder the republicans cry that C1eve-
land and Carlisle have accepted repub-
licanism the louder the repu blicans de-
nounce Cleveland and Carlisle. Louis
vile Courier-JournaL
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29

THIS Is theexcellent foppery of the worldi
that, when we are sick in fortune we make
guilty of our disasters the sun, the moonp
and the stars; as if we were villains by
necessity, fools by heavenly compulsion;
knaves, thieves and PREACHERS by spherical
predominance-Sha
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29
Tobacco-Twisted Neryes.

Millions of men keep asking for stimu-
lants because the nervous system is con-
stantly irritated by nicotine poison. Chew
ing or smoking destroys manhood and
nerve power. It's not a habit, but disease,
and you viii find guaranteed cure in No
To-Bac, sold by Druggists everywhere.
Book free. The Sterling Remedy Co., New
York City or Chicago.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29
Forbearance Appreciated.

Figg-Have ever told you the story
about what my little boy said when he
saw his aunt on a bicycle for the first
time?
Briggs-No. old man, you never
have. And wish to say to you that
fully appreciate your forbearance.-
INDIANAPOLIS Journal
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29

The cinch Mckinley has on the
presidency hinges on three contin-
gencies-the session of the Ohio legis-
1ature, the nomination and the cleo
ton. The days of feregone political
conclusions are past. = Fostoris lO.)
Einea
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29

WHERE IT Is FOLLY TO TRUsT.-'Don't
you think the man who marries for money
is a fooIl'' ''He is, unless he gets it in ad.
vance. "-Indianapolis Journal.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29

TRAMP-"Say, boss, could yer give a felle
a dime for square meal!'' Kind Gentle
man-''C Certainly. If the meal is a gooC
one. Where is it?"-Harper'S Bazaar.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29

DoTING Mamma Ito Alfred, who is strut
ting about in his first rousers)-"Alfred,
come over here and kiss me.' Alfred
(firmly)-''No mamma, can't love you any
more. Pm too old.'
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29

''SURE, sorr, Ord loilke t. git me name on
sae pinsion hst.'' ''Were you in the army?''
mo, sorr, but moi svmpaties was enlishted
all troo tn war. n-Harper's Bazaar.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29

No FLATTERY, boy! An honest man can
not live by it; it is a little sneaking art,
which knaves use to cajole and soften fools
Withal.- Otway.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29

IMAGINATION is melted horse that will
break the riders neck, when q donkey would
have carried him to the end of his journey
slow but sure.-Southey.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29

THE man who carries q single state
Is accounted now of worth;
But in early days old Atlas was
The man who carried the earth.
Indianapolis Journal.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29

'WoGaLEs had a lot of money at one time.
What became of it!' He blew it in
''How?'' Invested it in pnuematic rail
way scheme. Washington Star.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29

THE excessive pleasure we feel in talking
of ourselves ought to make us apprehen-
sive that we afford little to our auditors
-Rochefoucauld.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29

A HOME She-''Do you
think it is true that marriage delights in
contrasts!" He-''Certainly! You know
you are continually contrasting ne with the
man you supposed me to be before we were
married. PUCK
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29

SAFETY to mother and child and less ur
pleasantness after confinement, result fror
use of Mothers Friend" Sold by druggists
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29

DESTIsT-"The nerves are dead: that!
what's the matter" Celtic Patient -''Thin
be the blessid Virgin, tn dom tooth must b.
houldin' q wake over thin l''-Puck.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29

CLICKS has married an armless woman -
"Did he tell you his reasonS!'' Eyes; he
said that hewOuld never be under any wom-
ans humb."-Syracuse Post.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29

USE Piso's Cure for Consumption both i
my family and practice.-DR. g. w. PAT
TERsON, Inlzster, Mich, Nov. 5, 1894.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29

FATHER What was your mother talking
about awhile agol" Son-'I don't kEow.''
Father-'.Why, you sat and heard it alp
Son-"Yes, but she was talking TO the ba
by-'-Chicago Record.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29

FORTUNE is ever seen accompanying in
duStry, and is as often trundling in a
wheelbarrow as lolling in a coach and six.
Goldsmith.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29

MANHOOD has contempt for cowardice
That is why you get angrier when you sc
the other fellow isn't going to fght.-Plai
Dealer.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29

A HISTORY will live, though written ever
so indiffereutly; and it is generally less
suspected than the rhetoric of the muses.
ShenStone.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29

WIFE-''What do youS think of Bridget's
cookingl'' Husband-''I think if she tried
to boil water she'd burn it.''-Truth.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29
Do You Desire to Adopt Chude

Address the International ChiIdren's
Home Society, 234 La Sale ST., Chicago, H.
linois, Rev. DR.. Frank NJ. Gregg, General
Manager. Such child as you may desire,
of any age, viii be sent you on ninety days.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-08-29

Halls Catarrh Cure
Is taken internally. Price 75c.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1895-05-08
Transplanting Onions and Cabbage


G. w. c., of West Virginia, wants to
know how l transplant onions and
cabbage plants. Why, it seems that is
simple enough. Pull up the plants
from the seedbed or cold frame. and
set them out in rows in we'll prepared
and we'll manured ground. We usu.
ally do this with hands and fingers
alone. The left hand grasps and holds
the plant, while the right one make q
hole where the plant is then inserted,
and the soil pressed about the roots
with both hands. All this is done nj uch
quicker than l can tell it. If the soil
ispacked, as is sometimes the case W hen
we set out onion plants, when rain
has fallen upon the land already pre-
pared, we use small dibber in place
of the index figure of the right hand
for making the hole. While 1 am on
this subject will illustrate new style
OF dibber, that may come very handy
for transplanting onions. The idea
was given me by Thomas Hiday, of An.
derson, Indiana. The dibber is made
of hardwood, eight or ten inches long:
the point covered with tin. The gauge
is simply piece of wire bent with a
square angle and inserted through q
hole in the dibber. 1t can be set to
mark different distances as desired.
The wire makes the mark for the place
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1895-05-08
New York States Great Cavern.

1t has puzzled the writer not little
to understand why it is that SO little
has been said or written concerning
Howe's cave. 1t is situated in New
York State, only about 40 miles from
Albany, and is the third largest cavern
in the United States, Mammoth cave,
Kentucky, and Luray cave, Virginia,
being the two which outrank it in ex-
tent and magnificence. The cavern in
question was discovered by one Lester
Howe in the year 1S49 and was former.
ly known by the name of Otsgargee
cave. Howe penetrated it's winding
passage for distance of over 10 miles,
but visitors do not usually go beyond
Stygian lake, small body of water
about four miles from the entrance.
The stalactites and stalagmites are
both abundant and beautiful. 1t is
well lighted with gas back as far as
the Stygian lake, and is, in the writer's
estimation, one of the wonders of the
the continent.-St. Louis Republic.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1895-05-08
Close Fisted.

MIR, Putterby, my old time neighbor
OF forty years ago, was what we call
in the country close fisted," said the
man from the rural districts. "He
could drive the closest bargain of any
one ever met and could keep house
with the least buying. Ono of our
coins in those days was the old silver
12t cent piece, variously called nine
pence, York shilling and bit, &C.
cording to the part of the country you
were in, and it was the existence of
this coin that enabled him to make a
crowning triumph in the way of close
trade.
"A farm boy came along one day
with load of pumpkins which he was
peddling about the village at cent
apiece. Mr.. Putterby, after examining
them, thought he would invest, but
half pumpkin was all that he cared
to buy.
but whole pumpkin is only a
cent said the boy. How are you
going to pay me for half one2'
"'The easiest thing in the world,
said Mr.. Pntterby, and SO pumpkin
was cut, and he took one of the halves
under his arm and handed the boy q
shilling. Now give me the 10 cents
change and taking the 10 coppers
from the astonished boy he walked
away with his purchase, New York
Sun.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1895-05-08
A Theological Wonder,

The prize wonder in the shape of a
clock is the invention of Russian Pole
named Goldfaden. The inventor is q
clock maker of Warsaw, and boasts
that ne worked over 1900 days on this
time keeping oddity. The clock repre-
sents railway station, with waiting
rooms for travellers, telegraph and ticket
offices, and very pretty and natural
platform, well lighted, and having in
Its center flower garden and spouting
fountain. There are also signal boxes,
lights, switches and water tanks: in
TACT, everything used in conjunction
with we'll regulated railway station.
Ihere is a dial in the center tower
winch shows time at New York, Pekin,
Warsaw and London. Every quarter of
an hour the station begins to show
signs OF life. First, all of the little
hgures OF telegraph operators begin to
work their machines, the head automa-
ton going through the form of sending
dispatch to the effect that "the line
is clear" Then the door opens, and
upon the platform appears the station
master and his assistants. Next long
line of little figures file up to the mini
ature ticket office.
After this the porters appear carry
ing luggage, the bell rings, and in
stantly miniature train dashes out of
a tunnel and halts before the platform
OF the station house. While the train
is waiting miniature figure tests the
wheels and axles with tiny hammer;
another pumps water into the boiler of
the engine, while third busies him.
self slowing away small Jumps of coal
in the silver plated tender. There is
one signal of the bell, whereupon the
door of the signal coach opens and the
little figures all slide in on an almost
invisible wire, the opening closing af.
'er thein' a second tap OF the bell is q
signal for the wheel tester, waterman
and fuel carrier to retire into the sta
ton house. After the third signal the
whistle gives two toots, and the train
quickly disappears in tunnel opposite
to the one from which it emerged FIVE
minutes before. When the train is out
OF sight the station master and his as.
sistants leave the platform, the doors
close behind them, and they all retire
to the other side of the station house,
where, at the expiration of fifteen min
utes, the train again appears, and the
passengers file out and seat themselves
In the building preparatory to taking
another trip around the station house.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1895-05-08
To Prevent Smut in Corn.

Much has been said of late of cattle
and horses and other stock mysterious
~ dying, and the cause has been traced
10 the smut on corn or a similar fungus
on other grain or grass fed to them.
Inc common smut of grain crops is a
minute plant consisting of white
threads, like those of mildew, which
grow in plants, and generally concen-
trate in the heads. That of corn ap-
pears in every part of the plant, even in
the roots, but mostly in the seed heads.
Inc seed of the smut fungus consists
OF extremely minute black or brown
balls, called spares, and, when this
smut dries, it is carried off by the winds
and spread far and wide. But some of
it lodges in tuft of minute hairs at
the end of the seeds of the grain, and
thus, when the grain is sown, the smut
is sown with it, and in this way is most
effectively spread among the new crop.
10 prevent this the seed, whether
wheat, oats or corn, if stepped in so.
luton of four ounces of bluestone (sul-
phate of copper in five gallons of hot
water, and this, when cold, is used to
steep the seed in. The smut spores are
thus killed, and, of course, the danger
OF new smut is greatly reduced, as only
that floating in the air will infect the
crops The seed is kept in the solution
for few minutes, then out and drain.
ed and spread out to dry; it is then
sowed Immediately. Or the wet seed
may be mixed with some dry, air slack
ed lime, which is great help, and,
thus dried, may be sown at once, either
by hand or by a drill.-Colman' 8 Ru-
raj World.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1895-05-08

where TO set the next plant. We usu-
ally have onion plants three inches
apart. The kind and amount of ferti.
lizer to use for cabbage and onions de-
pend on the character of the soil. For
my land Iprefer old compost to any,
thing else; but also use potash (asur-
late of potosh) nitrogen in the form of
nitrate of soda ESPECIALLY valuable for
cabbages) and perhaps phosphoric acid
in bone. High grade, completes vege.
tables manures may be used. They
supply all necessary plant foods. For
500 pounds you will be asked to pay
about $40 or more. Nebraska Farmer.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1895-05-08
AN UNPLEASANT SOUND.
Short Story of Civil War Told by an
Old Soldier.

II was certainly more or less scared a
number of times when l was in the
army" said an old soldier, "in fact, |
thlnk soldering in time of war is more
or less harassing occupation anyway,
but never was more scared than |
was once for minute by something
that had nothing to do with fighting
whatever. This happened once when
was on picket in Virginia. The post
was in piece of woods. 1t was bad
enough in the daytime, but at night,
when you couldn't see anything at all,
1t was worse. 1t seemed as though it
got darker and darker, and stiller and
stiller, and it seemed as though it would
never end.
Suddenly it was busted wide open
by the awfulest sound l ever heard.
Scaredy Well.
"lf you've ever felt the feeling that a
man has before he actually gets under
hre, when he's lying back somewhere
in reserve and pretty safe, but hearing
the crackle up ahead, and thinking
that pretty soon he's got to 90 in him.
self, why, you know what it is to have
one of the most unpleasant feelings a
man ever had, but there you know
what's coming. This came with q shock
I.think it was the worst scare ever
had. 1t came right out of the air square
overhead and close, too, where hadn't
been looking for anything, the fright.
fullest, most unearthly sound l ever
heard, and all could do was to stand
there in the black dark and wait. A
minute later it came again. What a
tremendous relief. A screech owl. I'd
never heard one before, but / knew
now what it was. New York Sun.