davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
APRIL MEDICINE.

There Was No Fight First Boy Ito
ERE and I'll fight you" Second Boy (up
| the pole)--"Shan't." First Boy-"Yer Il
coward an afraid to come down." Sec
ond Boy-'Yes, an yer know it, or you
wouldn't have wanted to fight me-
| Harlem Life.
-Clerk-"That house you let to Mr..
and Mrs Suburb has nothing but els
| tern, and that is fifty feet from the door.
| You told them there was water IL the
| house" Agent-"So there is. The eel
lars half ll.''-Tid-Bits.
| Mrs. Rash-'How do you manage to
| get your cook up so early?" Mrs. Dash
| Well, / hunted up a young and good
| looking milkman and hired him to come
at . o'clock. louisville CouriT-Jour-
| nal.
Nurse" Sure, ma 'am, the twins have
been making a fuss all day, ma'am."
Mrs. Olive Branch-"What about"
Nurse-'It's because they can't have
birthday apiece, like the Dawson chill
dren next door. ''-Tid-Bits.
Shop Assstant-"Really, madame,
that white feather in your hat makes you
look ten years younger" Old Maid
rs that so? Then give me another
Tid-BitS.
Don't the soprano have better
showing than anyone else in the choirT
asked Fitzgoober. 4 don't know"
| unused Philgit. They all have the same
! chants, it seems to me.'-Atlanta Con
| StitutiOn.
-Poet-"Has the editor read the poem
left here yesterday" Office Boy
guess SO. sir; he's sick abed today
Boston Bulletin.
Wife (to unhappy husband)-"I
wouldn't worry. John; it doesn't do any
good to borrow trouble" Husband
Borrow trouble? Great Caesar, my
dear, [ amt borrowing trouble; I've got
it to lend. Colorado Sun.
-Hecker-'I'm glad to see you out
again, old man. I hear you've been very
near deaths door" Decker-'Yes, L
went as far as the doctors House
hold World.
-"Only Think exclaimed Henderson,
''of the many uses to which paper is now
putt Il know" replied Bass; Il was
at the theater the other night, and [ was
told it was all paper. And it was a fine,
notwithstanding structure, too."-Bos-
ton Transcript.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
ODD CONCEITS IN CANES.
Human Bones and Teeth for Handles
Sticks Made of Skins of Animals.

Human Bones and Teeth for Handles
Sticks Made of Skins of Animals.
''Some queer articles are made up into
canes," said leading maker Of walking
sticks to New York World reporter.
The curiOuS-lOoking knob on that stick
is the top of a mans thigh bone. 1t was
left here to be repaired by a customer,
whose business partner had lost his leg
through an accident. The leg was am
putated, and he had the knuckle of the
femur made into a head for a walking
stick. When he died not long ago he
Willed it to his partner, who left it here
this morning"
stick handles made out of human bone p
asked the reporter
well, not often, but / know of at
least four cases since [ have been in
business. 1t is very difficult to make a
satisfactory handle out of human bone
on account of its spongy texture. You
soon wears out or decays. This stick
here, you see. has head studded with
little pieces of bone. What do you sup
pose they are? Why, teeth; a customer
of ours had Riggs disease, which causes
the teeth to gradually drop out one by
one. AS each tooth fell out he would
come in and have it inserted in the head
Of his cane. | am just putting the last
one in today. This is not a solitary
instance, either.
lone of the best and most expensive
materials from which a stick can be
made is rhinoceros horn. A frst-class
rhinoceros horn will measure from thirty
to forty inches in length. One horn will
make seven or eight sticks. The horn
is prepared and pressed into any shape
or length. A good stick is worth from
$75 to 500.
Another material which makes very
heavy and tough stick is the skin of the
manatee The skin comes in lengths of
about feet and is dry and shriveled.
They say, and [ believe it to be true,
that if blow is struck with a manatee
stick hard enough to draw blood the
death of the victim will follow. It is
claimed that it is poisonous if any of it
gets into the blood. There are very strict
rules against carrying them in Cuba and
the West Indies generally"
Snakewood is the most expensive
wood used in canes. 1t is also the
strongest and lasts longest A plain
cane is worth So when mounted. The
dealer showed a stick made from one Of
the oak slabs used as a temporary foot
path over the Brooklyn bridge before
it was opened. The backbone of shark
makes an odd stick, light and very strong
of skins are also made into canes. For
handles boar's teeth and the tusks OF
hippopotami are generally used; that is,
for the high-priced sticks. Cheaper han,
dies are made from different grades of
buckhorn. Walrus tusks are also largely
used for good handles. The hardest thing
IN the world in the way of bone is the
grinder of hippopotamus. You can
strike fire from it with steel. No tool
will touch it and the enamel has to be
eaten away with acids before the tusk
can be worked at all.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
1T STALLED ON THE WAY.
The Negro Had an Idea that the Messag
was Being Delayed.

was Being Delayed.
At Madison a gentleman wrote tele-
gram and gave it to a negro, with in
structions to hand the same to the tele-
graph operator.
Mr.. Leak says send dis telumspatch
off immejitly."
The operator told him he would do SO
as quick as the wires could carry it.
AS the negro was leaving he spied a
paper, which the March breezes had
gathered up and were whirling along the
wire towards a pole, on which it lodged.
He watched the paper for some time
and becoming satisfied it could not get
away, went back to the office, called the
operator and said
Boss, Mistah Leak am in a powerful
hurry bout dat bizness."
The operator tod him the message was
already at its destination But that
scrap of paper on the wire had convinced
the darkey that the telegram had stalled
before it got out Of town, and he was
determined to let it be known.
Boss, [ amt gwine to 'spute your
word, but you look on dat pole. Dat
telumspatch will never get to whar it
gWine 'cept you send somebody erlong to
knock it off'n de polesr'-Atlanta Con
StitutiOn
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
Music 5000 Years Old.

Some fine old music will be given at
Athens shortly. 1t has been discovered
ON marbles Of great antiquity. and in
clined, on touching, to disappear into
crumbs; but such has been the handlins
of NJ. Homille, the director of the French
school at Athens, that he has been able
to entirely restore the tablet and likewise
to rewrite the prayer to Apollo, which
was engraved upon it. The sculptor did
a further service by engraving on another
stone the music entitled the 'Paean,'
the famous warsong of the Greeks. The
music is being studied by an able Greek
orchestra, under the supervision and in,
struction of half a dozen savants, and
will be shortly produced in Athens.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
TREATED A WHOLE ARMY.
The Polite French President Has Enlist d
the Friends hip of Rank and File.

M. Felix Faure, on the day of his cleo
quarter of bottle of wine to every pri-
vate soldier on active service to drink his
health. The bill has now been sent in to
him and comes to about f4000 He has
made conquest of the privates who
have in rotation served to guard the
when he is going out to drive or walk he
steps into the guardroom.
The soldiers there rush forward to
stand at attention in row. He walks
slowly past, stopping before each to say
something friendly. Before leaving he
wine for each NJ Faure understands
better than any former President how
to take workingclass folks, and has quite
broken the ice which kept them out of
touch with the Elysee.- Philadelphia In
Quirer.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
Wisconsin Patents.

Patents for the following Wisconsin
inventions are reported this week by Err
win, Wheeler 81 Wheeler, IS and SO
Loan and Trust building, Milwaukee,
Wis. These attorneys will furnish the
Inventors Handbook" free on request.
Emil f. Birkholz, Eden, manual boat pro-
pulson; Charles S. Brown and f. 3. Fargo
Lake Mills. churn and butter worker; Frank
E. Davis, La Crosse, sulky plow; John Du
moulin, Marinette, Sawmill carriage; Frank
B. Fargo and G. S. Brown, Lake Mills, but
ter packer; Joseph Noyotny, Oshkosh, grain
measuring. bagging and registering machine
Trademark: Henry E. Horne, La Crosse
paints, filters, dressings and VarniSh.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
Like a Machine.

Which kept in order runs smoothly and regu-
larry, SO the bowels keep up their action if
measures are taken to keep them in good
working order. This infers, of course, that
they are out of order. The surest recourse
then is to Hostetter's Stomach BitterS, n
laxative mild but effective, which is also q
remedy for dyspepsia, malaria, rheuma tism,
nervousness and kidney trouble.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
WITH AND WITHOUT FEATHERS.
Two Kinds of GuIIs the Thames Shore
in London During the Frost.

in London During the Frost.
During the frost the starving sea gulls
seem to excite more compassion in some
quarters than the starving unemployed;
but at least one needy fellow had the wit
to turn this curious phase of "humanita-
rianism' to account for his own benefit.
Having collected quantity of fish offal
and other animal debris from the pave
ment and cutters in Clare market, this
With the ue'l stuff He then announced that hat
he was feeding the poor starving birds
''at his own expense" and made an APP
peal for contributions toward the work,
which met with a ready and generous
response in silver and copper from the
sympathetic crowd. Sea gulls are not
the only gulls.-London Truth.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
Doesn't Want a Husband.

A maiden lady in Newburg keeps a
parrot which swears and a monkey which
cheWs tobacco. She says between the
two she doesn't miss q husband very
much.-Southern Ulster
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
The Tardy Millionaire.

The millionaire walked into church
An hour late or so;
t'He comes thus late said Mrs. Knox,
THAT he may make a show
''Ah. no; that's not the reason, DEAR"
Replied shrewd Mr.. Knox;
Gle comes so late that he may dodge
The contribution box"
New York World.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
Only Two.

1T takes all kinds of folks to make
WORLD" sighed Farmer Poore, as he laid
down his paper.
We'll, Jabez,' said his good wife Ma
rindy; so far as my observation goes,
it takes only two kinds, men and wom-
en- !"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
EPITAPH.

From place to place he rode life's race
The devil neer endorsed him;
Pald ms respects, passed in his checks,
And the good Lord Endorsed 'em
Atlanta Constitution.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
A CrriOuS WnDnr

A curious wager was that made by
member of parliament, who bet a gen
tleman well-known on the British turf
that a man could 60 from London to
Edinburgh in any mode he chose while
another made a million dots with pen and
ink upon writing paper.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
Annotated Index Copy Laws 1895.

We are preparing to publish on the adj
journment of the Legislature a supple
ment of the copy laws passed, with an
notated index, for the lawyers of the
state. The book will be printed on good
paper and strongly bound, for 90 cents
each; with library binding, 81.
The Evening Wisconsin Co.,
Milwaukee, Wis
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
Every Cause But The Right One.

Your headache: You lay it to every
cause but the true indigestion. So
few people know what indigestion really
is. Hardly know they have it. The
cure is Ripans Tabules. A single one
gives relief. Ask your druggist
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
A New Method.

The Cuban guerrilla bands have a
queer way of burning up standing sugar
cane in the field. They tie fuses to the
tails of a number of snakes, light the
fuses and let the snakes loose
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
Promises of Spring.

The tiny fishes dart and skim;
The lambkin frisks in play;
And the buds proclaim from every limb
That June is or her way.
But small fry grows to common fish;
The little lamb that frOlics
Of mutton makes a homely dish
And the apple buds make COLES.
Washington Star
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
SOME DAY.

The lilies bloom along the vale,
The robins sing their lay;
Or if they don't, the chances are
They will some time in May.
Detroit Free Press
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
SHE MUSES..

What beautiful thing is thought said she
boon it is to myself and jim
l sit and think he is thinking of me,
And he sits and thinks l am thinking o.
him EXCHANGE.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
BARGAINS.

She took hand at poker once;
Indeed, twas very funny
She only played with white chips, cause
She got more for the money.
Washington Star
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24

man, without reserve, and the answer
will come from one of her own sex. Be
one Of the vast army of women who write
to Mrs. Pinkham, at Lynn, Mass, and
preserve your health. ''Only a woman
can understand woman's ills"
A prominent actress, in a letter to
Mrs. Pinkham, says:-
You cannot imagine the fear
full condition I was in when first wrote
to you. I was simply of no use to myself
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
TRICKY.

Mary had little hen.
Twas feminine and queer:
1t laid like smoke when eggs were cheap,
And quit when eggs We're dear.
Louisville Courier Journal.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
Pay Day in PHILADELPHIA.

You may talk about the jingles
And the jangles of all climes.
But the sweetest jingle ever tangled
is the jingle of the dimes
philadelphia INQUIRER.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24

Piso's Cure for Consumption is an es-
pecially good medicine for Croup.-Mrs.
NJ. r. Avent, Jonesboro, Texas, May 9th,
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24

In the New England Kennel clubs an
nual show at Boston, which opened in
Mechanics hall. Edward A Burdette of
Chicago was awarded second prize on his
English setter, Cincinnatus Pride.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24

ishing !. I'm all right now, and am
gaining flesh daily. follow your advice
faithfully in everything. Thank you ten
thousand times for what your knowledge
and Lydia E. Pinkhdm's Vegetable Com
0ound have done for me-"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24

Tom, who did you say our friend
Lawley marriedT' ''Well, he married
100000. | forget her other name. lid
Bits
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24

ran the
gauntlet
of doctors
theories,
till my
health and
money
were rap
idlY van
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24

Japan is an Anglicized conception OF
Hifong, the name of the principal Jap,
aneSe island in the emnire
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
g HELp!"
A WOMAN's DEsPAIRING CRY.
Ut is Heard. A Prominent Actress
Escapes Great Danger.

ESPECIAL TO QUE LADY READERs.J
How startling is a Woman's cry for
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
The Evolution

Of medicinal agents is gradually relegat-
ing the old-time herbs. pills, draughts
and vegetable extracts to the rear and
bringing into general use the pleasant
and effective liquid laxative. Syrup of
Figs. To get the true remedy see that it
is manufactured by the California Fig
Syrup Co. only For sale by all leading
DRUGGISTS
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24

or any one else. l
had worked hard,
and my nervous
system was shat
tered from womb
trouble and travel
ling constantly. I
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
The lrnpressionistic school.

Limned on blotch of purple fog
A greenish haymow lies,
While cows stand dank and oyster-IkG.
In ghostly panoplieS.
A jaundiced sun with prickly edge
Slabs through the pudgy mist,
Where a dreamy-legged farmland holds
The milkmaid he has kissed
New York Press.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24

Did stop to think how completely the AermotOr
Co. made the modern windmill busness2 How has monop
ozed this entire line of manufacture because of
inventions, designs qualities prices forced otherz
to be literal and servile imtators Witness steel
wheel the back geared pumper, the high geared power
mill, the steel towers fixed and fitting the gayanztns
of work after completion, the grinder centrifugal feed
the improved rrgating and other pumps, steex
pole of the popular things
the steel storage and stock tanks. Everything
touched have bettered and oeapened. thing
have delighted in and it hs paid have established
of branch houses to have all these
want them. The kermotor Co. has but ambition IL
wants to build and fill one building 1t has
of land at its present location unoccuped by buildings 1t
poets to in June to tnat with snes
building stories high This will
space Then when the public demand
than can be produced with this added space will
extend further make effort will have
to supply TINT demand It will then turn all
UNTIL THAT TINE 1T EXPECTS TO CONTINUE TO SEPPLT
THE WORLD WITH THE GREATER PART OF ITS WIND
WHEELS, TOWERS, GRINDERS FEED CUTTERS. PCFPS.
STEEL FRAME BUZZ SAWS, STEEL STORAGE AND STOCK
TANKS, STEEL SUBSTRUCTURES, ETC., ETC, GAL
VANIZED AFTER COMPLETION. IT WILL CONTINUE TO
DEAL MOST LITERALLY WITH THE PUBLIC, FURNISH Elk.
PAIRS AT LOW PRICE, AND BE THE GREAT BODRI
soUARE-DEALING WIND POWER AND WATER SUPPLY
HOUSE OF THE WORLD. AERA0TGR CO.. CHICAGO.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24

Cold Winds Roughen and Chap the
Skin. Glenn's Sulphur Soap softens and
reunites it.
Hills Hair and Whisker Dye" Black
or Brown SOC
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
UNWISE POSTPONEMENT.
Neg1ecting a Duty Which Ought to Be
Done Now.

Neg1ecting a Duty Which Ought to Be
Done Now.
On general principles there is no
more foolish method of taking life
easy than by deferring an obvious
duty. Especially foolish is the per-
son who postponeS the work of cleans
ing his blood. There are many rea-
sons why this work should be done in
the spring. This is the cleansing sea-
son, and the blood needs cleansing be-
fore all things else. That tired feel
ing is due to vitiated condition of the
vital fluid. The pimples and other
.eruptions which appear are indications
that the blood has become loaded with
impurities which should be expelled at
once. In no other way can health be
maintained. Now there is but one true
blood purifier prominently in the pub
lie eye to-day, and that is Hoods Sar-
saparilla. By taking q few bottles Of
this great blood cleansing medicine
the bodily health can be built up SO
that when the warm weather comes
the system will be able to resist the
debiliating effects Of the heated sea-
son. Those who start with good health
IN the spring, given them by a thor
ough cleansing of the blood by Hoods
Sarsaparilla, will be likely to pass
through the summer without serious
illness, and when the autumn comes
they will find that they are supplied
with strength which they had never
known at that season before. The
work of cleansing the blood in the
spring is one of the most important
duties Of the season, because pure
blood means good health, and good
health is essential both to happiness
and to the highest usefulness in the
world
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24

of all epidemic diseases diphtheria
was most fatal in Paris last year, caus
ing 1909 deaths.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-04-24
Told Her EYerYthinC.

Son of follow, yus - an my
missus gifts on fustt-c!!o-ss tergither, sir
Regular chummy. we are. l tells her
everythink!'
2hilanthropist-" Ever tell her lie?''
Son of Toil-"Tells 'er everything, I
fell yerr'-London Punch.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1895-08-11
WILLIAM SCHARFENBERG.

William Scharfenberg an old and well-known mu-
stefan Of this city, died suddenly at Quogue. Long
Island on Thursday. and his burial took place in
Gre enwood Cemetery yesterday
Mr.. Scharfenberg born In Germany more than
seventy-sx years ago. but he spent the greater part
Of his life here. He accomplished organist
and pianist and had been organist Of several
churches He attended the Fifth Avenue Presby-
terian Church At one time he a member OF
a firm having large music store In this city. In
politics he Republican.
Mr Scharfenberg took a great interest in strug-
Cling musicians and often helped and even edu.
Gated. those who showed musical talent He had
lived a retired life during his later years in apart
ments at No ISL Park-ave. son and daugh-
ter died some years ago. Mr.. Scharfenberg. with
his wife and daughter Mary. went to Quogue about