davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-03-27
TEA-TABLE SALAD.

DO you go to church to hear the
sermons or the music. MaudY'
Il go for the hims,' said Maud
Harpers Bazaar.
Tommy Bingo-"Sister had her young
man to call and see her last night, and
/ was peeping through the keyhole, look
ing at them, when ma came along and
did she do?' Tommy Bingo-" took
a ok.'-Tid-Bi
Yes remarked Mrs. Malaprop, sit
was a great sight First came the King,
carrying sceptic in his hand and wear
ing a beautiful red mantle all trimmed
with vermin. 1t was grand sight
Truth
Miss Waltzer-'Let us have another
round before the music stops. Young
Dancer generously, but absent-mindedly)
Er,-certainly- me, this time
Brooklyn Life.
-Wife-'I am afraid you are not en-
joying my dinner. What are you think
ing of?' Husband-"I was thinking that
there must be miSprintS in your cook
book. '-Fliegende Blaetter.
A barber, after applying some stick
ing plaster to cash made with the razor
prepared, nothing daunted, to continue
up to first blood. The duel is at an end !;
let us shake hands."-Il Motto per Ri
dere.
From a Professional Standpoint
First Lawyer-"Seems to be an epidemic
of embezzlement and that sort of thing"
Second Lawyer-.'Ye and there is one
feature which is particularly unfortun-
ate First Lawyer What is that"
Second Lawyer Nearly all of them are
pleading guilty."-Puck.
Shipwreck and war have I beheld
And many awful things;
Rut worst of all was when | held
-Four jacks and saw four kings.
New York Herald.
1t is said that recent earthquake in
Persia killed 100 women in one bath. We
think we could guess what caused the
convulsion.-Chicago Dispatch.
q can't help my dislike for it, said
Meandering Mike. Il oncet seen Il sign
in the suburbs that said 'waterworks,
an l never could have no respect for it
nce."-Washington Star.
I'll just lie in wait for the next man
that comes along" remarked the defect
i've weighing Observation-Disclosures Rec
ord.
-'B'gosh." said Farmer Corntossel, as
he walked out of the depot, Il never git
ter town without bein' hit somehow.
Fust it's bunco then it's a gold brick, an
now, by hockey, I'm frost-bit. Washing
ton Star.
-Unkletom-'I hear you turned people
I'VE tried to, but they wouldn't so until
they got their money back. "-Indianapo
Journal.
-Judge-"What made you turn bur,
glar?' Tramp-''I am so fat that peo>
pie refused to give me food. '-Fliegen-
de Batter
Teeth inserted without gas as the
fellow who owned a savage dog inscribed
on board outside his garden GAZETTE,
Bits.
-Madly she wept-"You have killed
the last vestige of my affection for YOU
she sobbed rs that SOP he answered
Maybe now you will find some time to
attend to the cooking. Indianapolis
Journal.
Collector-"You say that you are not
liable to income tax? Why, you must
be spending $4,000 year, Jack
Dashing-''Very likely; but what has
that to do with my income? New York
Sun.
She Gin the box)-'I wonder who that
man over there in the orchestra is? He
never smiles when the audience roars.
but instead looks sour" He with herr
He must be a dramatic critic. '-Syra-
cuse Post.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-03-27
Wisconsin Patents.

Patents for the following Wisconsin
inventions are reported this week by Err
win. Wheeler & Wheeler, 5S and SO
Loan and Trust building Milwaukee.
Wis. These attorneys will furnish the
Inventors Handbook free on request.
Edmond l.. Anderson Rhinelander, spoke
dental appliances; William f. Clausen. She
boygan, automatic bridge-gate; Alfred E.
Detwiler, Milwaukee, index; Henry Hagen,
West Superior, nut lock; Nathan l.. Holmes
Racine, bolster spring; Frank Q. Keller,
Milwaukee, flushing tank; Cassius NJ. Paine,
Milwaukee, apparatus for playing duplicate
whist; John Reichert. Racine. seat for vehi-
cles; Hubbard j. Snyder and E. Pitske. Mer-
rill. gauge for rotary cutters; Edmond To-
bin, Marnette game counter
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-03-27
REPAIRING AN OCEAN CABLE.
Delicate Work, for Which Wonderful In
struments Have Been Invented.

struments Have Been Invented.
1t is said that one submarine cable is
laid at depth of $4,000 feet But there
are at least three cables working at Il
depth of nearly 1900 feet, and four in
about 10000. The vast majority lie in
water about 10000 feet deep or less.
Repairing a cable is hard work. The
apparatus has also to be at once sensi-
tive and strong. AS is generally known,
the repairing steamer proceeds to the
point where calculation shows the break
or damage to have happened, and then
lowers a grapnel, which it slowly drags
across the route of the cable at right
angles. AS soon as tension on the
grapnel rope is noted, due to catching
the cable it has hooked, great pains have
to be taken lest the precious treasure
trove slip off at any stage of its journey
up to daylight. Special grapnels have
been devised for this important work.
In one of the latest the prongs project
from a hook like the claws of a crab
or turtle. Should any of them come in
contact with rock on the bottom of the
sen they recede within the shield suf-
ficiently to let the grapnel glide over
the obstruction. The writer has seen
chunks of prehistoric granite as big as
ones fist brought up by a clogged Crap
mel from more than 1000 fathoms Of
water In this new grapnel the prong.
if it has hooked blight of cable. will
still hold on when it retracts into the
shell.-New York Morning Advertiser.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-03-27
Adjust Family Differences.

Bad temper is often merely bad indi-
gestion.
Many quarrels attributed to perverse
dispositions are due to disOrdered liverS
Ripans Tabules adjust family differ
ences, and would prevent them, which is
better if taken in time.
RipanS TabuleS, taken after meals,
morning and evening, for a while, regu-
late the system and sweeten the temper
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-03-27
Honest Politics.

"Yes," said the sporty gentleman, 1--WE
got our little bill through all right 1t
cost us $4,000, but the money was spent
honest. You see it was this way. The
day it was to come up, we throwed our
little ten thou into a dry goods store
feller's hands, an he put up such beau
tiful bargains on his counters that when
it came to vote there wasn't female
member of the Legislature present. In
dianapOls Journal.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-03-27
Next,

Teacher-"Yes, children, the hairs of
our heads are ali numbered
Smart Boy pulling out hair and pre-
senting it-'Well, what is the number of
this hair
TeacEer-"Number one, Johnny and
quilting out several more) these are num-
bers two, three, four, five and six. Any
thing else YOU want to know"
Smart MONO, ir.''-Player and
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-03-27
King Lear Driven Forth

Into the cold and rain, had no Hostetter's
Stomach Bitters to counterfeit their effect.
But the modern traveller in inclement
weather can battle its hurtful influence with
this genial protector. ChiMs and fever rheu-
matism, neuralgia colds are forestalled by
this warming medicinal stimulant and safe
guard. Take wineglaSSful Immediately be-
fore and after exposure. Use it. too, for dys-
pepSia, biliOusneSS and constipation.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-03-27
The Modern Way

Commends itself to the el-formed, to
do pleasantly and effectually what was
formerly done in the crudest manner and
disa greeably as well. To cleanse the
system and break up colds, headaches
and fevers without unpleasant after eff
fects, use the delightful liquid laxative
remedy, Syrup of Figs.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-03-27
A Late Riser.

a. m.)-"Is Mr.. Jones up?'
Clerk-"Ies, sir"
Caller-"Is he DOWN.
Clerk-"Yes, sir"
Caller-"Ah, thanks. I'll step into the
breakfast room and see him. detroit
Free Press.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-03-27
Trouble in the Sanctum.

''See here" said the editor of 1.-THE
Plunkville Bugle' to his new reporter,
you neglected TO refer to the proprietor
of the Silver Star restaurant as genial
boniface' in your article speaking of him
yesterday, and now he threatens to sue
me for my board. You may do for large
cities all right, but you amt on to
Plunkville yet, not by Il heap. "-Indian-
aDOliS Journal
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-03-27
ST. ELMO'S LIGHT.
A Remarkable Electrical Display in tn.
Sky.

DISpIaY the
Sky.
AT midnight last night Detroiters who
were awake witnessed one of the rarest
electrical phenomena to be seen. Just
after the snowstorm the sky cleared off.
and then suddenly a blazing column Of
fiery electrical vapor hung straight over
every electric light tower in the city.
The phenomenon lasted about a quarter
of an hour and then as suddenly disap-
peared, but it was very beautiful sight
and one never to be forgotten Imme-
diately following it there was sudden
rise of temperature and a warmer at
mosphere. Detroit News, March 16.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-03-27
He Nearly SmOthered.

Hotel Clerk Ito rural guest Morning,
Mr.: Smithkins. How did you sleep last
night?'
Mr.. Smithkins (weakly) -"Only fairish
Y see | hain't used to seepin' folded
up in them new-fangled foldin beds yet
I'm hanged if | didn't nearly smother
iSt"-NeW York World
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-03-27

/ am entirely cured of hemorrhage of
lungs by Piso's Cure for Consumption
Louisa Lindaman, Bethany, Mo, Janu-
airy s, 1894.
q see that Hoyt is going to have his
new play vaccinated." What for?' ITO
see whether it will take or not"-Truth.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-03-27
Call 1t a Craze.
AN ALARMING STATEMENT
CONCERNING WOMEN.
HOW BAD HABITS ARE FORMED.

The Nev YORK Tribune says: "The habit of
taking headache powders is increasing to an
alarming extent among great number of wo-
men throughout the country. These powders as
their name indicates are claimed by the inaiiu-
facturers to be positive and speedy cure for any
form of headache. In many cases their chief
ingredient is morphine, opilin, cocaine or some
other equally injurious drug having tendency
to deaden pain. The habit of taking them Is
easily formed, but almost impossible to shake
off. Women usually begin taking them to re-
1ieve a raging headache and soon resort to the
powder to alleviate any little pain or ache they
may be subjected to; aud finally like the NOR
phine opium fiend, get into the habit of taking
them regularly, imagining that they are i'll pain
if they happen to miss their regular DOSE
In nine cases out of ten, the trouble is
in the stomach and liver. Take simple
laxative and liver tonic and remove the
offending matter which deranges the
stomach and causes the headache DR..
Pierce's Pleasant Pellets are composed
entirely Of the purest, concentrated,
vegetable extracts: One Pellet is a
dose; sugar-coated, easily swallowed;
once used, aI7O'ays in favor. They posi-
lively cure sick headache and remove
the disposition to it.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-03-27

Wigs (meditatively)- wonder if
an army cannon ever obtains an honorable
discharge?''
aggs-"Nop; just gets fred Buffalo
Courier
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-03-27

Erick-''NNe impose Il fine of 1 cent on
everybody who enters and leaves the
door open"
Tuttrick-'I see. A sort of income
ax."-New York Morning Journal
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-03-27

Beecham's pills are for biz
iousness. sick headache, diz-
ziness, dyspepsia, bad taste
in the mouth, heartburn, tor
pid liver, foul breath, sallow
skin, coated tongue, pinples,
loss Of appetite, etc., when
caused by constipation; and
constipation is the most fire.
quent cause of all Of them
One of the most important things for
everybody to learn is that constipation
causes more than half the sickness in the
world especially of women; and 1t can alb
be prevented. Go by the book free at your
druggist s, or write B. F. A1lenCo. ,365Cana
ST., New York. Pills, 100 and 25G box.
Annual sales more than 6, 600 COO boxes.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-03-27

OLIcI LtIhc, LCIpcCT Co.,
Mich, writes Il not
infrequently have an at
tack of the headache.
It usually comes OH i'll
the forenoon. At my
dinner I eat my regular
meal, and take one or
two of Doctor Pierce's
Pleasant Pellets imme-
diately after, and in the
course of all hour NV
headache is cured and
no bad effects. I feel
better every way for
having taken them
not worse, as is usual
after taking other kinds
of pills. Pleasant Pei
lets are worth more
than their weight in
gold, if for nothing else
than to cure headache"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-03-27

Belief is gaining ground that the SUI
preme court will declare the income tax
law unconstitutional.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-03-27
Could Tell by the Cork.

Thar is the place whar the major fell
through the ice
How do you know"
Easy enough. Jest look at that cork
foatin' yanderr'
The Sanction of Physicians has been
accorded to that standard disinfectant,
Glenn's Sulphur Soap.
Hills Hair and Whisker Dye" black
or brown, soc.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-03-27
"A PARALLEL.

There is many a slip
'TwiXt the cup and the lip
So the poets satirical sing;
And the world also sees
That there's many freeze
'TwiXt March and the genuine spring.
Washington Star.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-03-27
STYLE.

She is so fond of style,
1t delights her to tell
That her boy has the mumps,
Because mumpS are so swell.
Exchange.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-03-27

DO you go to church to hear TIL
sermons or the music, Maud"
II go for the hims,' said Maud
Harper's Bazaar.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1895-04-16
LOCAL BREVITIES.

Mr.. J. M. Hill has sold to Solomon
Lewis the advertising privileges of the
st. Asaph race track for five years.
The republicans OF Fairfax county
met at Fairfax Courthouse yesterday
and nominated candidates for county
Offices.
John Smith, Secretary McIptyre's
lieutenant at the St. Asaph track, is i'll
with pneumonia, and is not expected
to live.
The Electoral Board met last night
and ordered new registration books for
the Fourth ward, the old ones being in
bad condition.
The regular attendants upon the re-
cent Lenten services are now at loss
as how to occupy the time which
they spent at those services.
The steamer Howard Cassard was
launched from the ways at the shipyard
this evening. She has been overhauled
and repainted and looks well.
Messrs. J. A. & W. W. Cogan have
been awarded the contract for fitting
the custom house building with Wells.
bach incandescent gas burners.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1895-04-16

THE RACEs.-At the st. Asaph track
Yesterday the event was the third race,
the st. Asaph stakes of 81 900 for two
year-olds. OF the six carded three were
scratched, leaving the three crack two
vear-olds of the track to contest for the
purse. Floretta won, Apologize sec
ond and The Hartford third. Time,
.52l.
Fourth race, 5 furlongs.-Trayesty
won. Wilton second, Salvor third.
Time, LOG.
Fifth race, J mile.-Hermia won,
Tyvana second and Old Age third.
Time, :511.
Sixth race, five furlongs.-Hoey won,
Capcain Brown second Lottie Eastin
third. Time, 1:05i.
The entries for tomorrow are as fol-
lows
First race, ( mile.-Benefactor los;
The Kelp, 105; Senator Vest, 1O5;
Mabel Glen, 105; Oxford, los; Her
kimer, 105; Johannes, 105; Chevalier,
105; Wheeler, los; Demo, los.
Second race, ] mile.-Hermia, 1O5;
Religion, los; Summertime, los; Ban
della, 1O5; Felicia, los; Lady Greenway,
los.
Third race, 81 flrlongs.-salvor, 100;
Sue Kittie, 112; Albert Sidney, III;
Travesty, III; Ceremony, 112; Harvard
en-, 112; The Scalper, lO9; Reform, 1l2;;
Founding; III.
Fourth race, l mile.-Major General,
100. Pala6in "a. DOWNRIGHT. l13: st.
Michael, ITO; Peter the Great, 100; Re-
straint, ITO.
Fifth race, { mile.-Lorimer, 1O5;
Lochinvar, los; Ina, los; Velvet Rose,
1O5; Ducas, formerly the Esher-Dolly
colt, los; Cuckoo, los; Lille K, 1o5;
Bound Brook, los; Tancred, los; Minnie
S., los. -.
Stanley NJ, 81; Tolosa, 1O3; Wilton, 81;
Bonniville, los; Teardrop, 9S. 80
The fifth race having failed to fill,
the first race was divided.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1895-04-16
Dls4 GOODS: - GOODS.
AN ARRAY
ATlRAC||OyyFORAPBIL

Our buyer has just added from visit to New York large
line of new and desirable goods in all lines.
In Dress Goods DepartmenThe best stock OF black
pons all the prices from to s275 per
yard Handsome black acquard particularly desirable for
suits skirts Special values in black serges 5oc Black
silk warp hennettas.
New figured aeta silks special values swivel silks at soc
4oc swivel silks at 4oc SOC dainty little check
silks at sec worth Soc
Dress Lnings-Real hair CLOTH black and three shades
grey imitation hair CLOTH the best the market rusng silk
Innings fibre chamos percalnes &c. beltngs bindings,
ngs skirt bones and steels S. H. & M famous velveteens
and corduroys.
Wash Goods Stoc-A new line of crepe de Venne solid
colors just the thing for waists The best line percaes
shown special value inch percale particularly choice
patterns &c. tevot cloths foreign and domestic dtries
pisse cloths aconets cordea lawns piques and ducks.
New embroideres beaded Innings in Van Dyck points,
jet ornaments in great variety.
Special Announcement-The house of E. S. Jaray & Co.,.
after existence of SO years. has passed into the hands of
receiver and purchased from their sale large line of lin
ems consisting of sheeng, towels pillow linens
We offer very special inducements the line of towels from
to IS per cent under value large line of linen buck
towels worth 17c fine linen buck towel
I7c 81 Dozen worth $3.50 dozen fine white buck
towel 25c worth 3oc large and fine buck towel
3oc worth size; wonderful value large alinen
towel just the thing for the BATH 15c fine 1914 all linen
sheehng at 81, worth SIPS.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1895-04-16

INp1crED.-The grand jury came in.
10 Washington Criminal Court No. 1
YESTERDAY before Justice Cole and re-
turned indictments against Billy Will
iiams. eddy" Desmond, and John,
alias Jack" Dempsey for breaking in
to the office of the Washington steam.
boat Company on the night OF the lst
of April. An indictment was also re-
turned against tina same defendants Tor
the larceny of 1879 at the same time.
Williams and Desmond were to have
been arraigned in the Washington Po-
lice Court this morning for prellml'
nary hearing, but they will now receive
their first trial in the Criminal Court.
Williams is still in the United States
{ail in Washington and Desmond Is
locked up in this city. 1t has been
planned to take him to Washington to-
day, and Detectives Weldon and Horn
were here yesterday with bench war
rant signed by Justice Cole for him.
The detectives learned, however, that
there was no danger of Desmond being
set at liberty, and it is only a question
of time until he reaches Washington
Cor trial. The officers also took, it is
understood, bench warrant for the
arrest of Jack Dempsey to Jackson
CITY, and attempted to find him. He
was seen there several days ago, but
could not be found yesterday. Demp.
sey is the mysterious Jack" spoken OF
in connection with the several SAFE
blowing Jobs in Washington.
Mr.. Charles Bendheim, counsel for
Desmond. has returned from Norfolk,
and Judge Hughes will hear the habeas
corpus case in this city tomorrow
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1895-04-16

RELIGIOUS NOTES.-The Union Mis-
sion will hold services in the First
Presbyterian Church, on south Fairfax
street, tonight. Rev. Mr.. Bailey, of
Washington, will conduct the services.
These meetings are held under the au-
spices of no particular denomination,
but are designed as an auxiliary means
of interesting people in the fundamental
gospel truths irrespective Of ecclesiastl-
Cal preferences.
The Baptist Church was tolerably
we'll filled last night by an audience
which evinced much interest in the ser
vices. Rev. Mr.. Butler delivered an
impressive sermon from the invitation
Come, for all things are ready" At
it's conclusion three persons united
with the church and an equal number
made application for membership.
Revival services will begin at Trinity
NJ. E. Church tonight at 7:90 o'clock.
The services will be under the control
of Mr.. Samuel Stokely, of Pennsyl.
vania, who is said to be an able revival
list and a forcible and attractive
speaker.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1895-04-16

ST. JOHNS DEBATERs WINNERs.-A
large audience assembled at Columbian
University, Washington, last evening
to hear the joint debate between mem
bers of La Sale Society of st. Johns
College and representatives of the Her
messiah Society of Columbian Prepare
tory School. Among the st. Johns
speakers was Mr.. L. p. Harlow, of this
city. The question for discussion was
"Resolved, That ambition is productive
of more good than evil" The debate
was so close that the audience was at
sea as to the decision of the judges, but
after short intermission unanimous
a decision in favor of st. Johns wss
announced.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1895-04-16

OPERA HoUsE.-Ellen Vockey's COM
pany appeared at the Opera House last
night before small audience. The
company's engagement for tonight has
been cancelled.
On Wednesday night Mr.. Roland
York, assisted by Miss Jessie Montrose,
Miss Charlotte Andrus and Mr.. Charles
Arthur, will present by complete col
lection of artistically colored stereopti-
can views, picturesque Tour of the
World, starting from New York city,
and visiting Europe, Africa, Asia and
Australia, returning by way of San
Francisco, Salt Lake City, Colorado,
Chicago and Niagara, closing with the
review of the U. S. squadron in Hamp-
ton roads. The stereoptican views are
both numerous and magnificent, being
colored by the best artists in this line
of work.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1895-04-16

LAST N1eHT's SPARKLING CONTEST,
At Henry's auditorium last night, JACK
Ryan, of Chicago, met defeat by Hlte
Peckham in four rounds and bare
ly escaped being knocked entirely out,
as, had Peckham felt SO inclined ne
could have administered such a blow at
the close of the round. Ryan was
whipped in the second round, but
gameIy walked up to the scratch twice e,
afterwards. Mr.. Henry, Lieut.. Smith
and Referee Powers advised cessation
of the fight at the end of the fourth
round, seeing that Ryan was inclined
to continue the fight. Several other
bouts filled the evenings entertain
ment AT the close of the contests
Peckham announced that he was will
ing to meet any man in the country at
1SS pounds, bar nobody, for $500 and
the largest purse that would be offered
by any club for such meeting.