davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09
THE oUT.TO.DlNNsR MAN.
He Knows Why He Is Invited and Thinks
He Pays His Way.
CTo be Continued,

No" said the cynical bachelor to the
n. \. Tribune man. its not because 1
am tremendously popular that | get in-
vitaiions and | don't consider it such an
honor TO he invited To Zine somewhere
every night in the week, with half a
dozen or more Invitations a week to
spare. Why in the world do you sup
pose they invite me? Well, I'm a good
deal like the fellow who is taken on a
ship and made TO work his passage. lie
pays for his voyage with work. work
my passage at the dinners. Oh. yes. !
do. There's no use in being vain about
these things. You see. I'm not mar.
ried, and there's always some young
woman, oil Oil woman for hat matter,
who has TO be taken care Of. Now. a
married man is at a discount at a din
ner. OF course, he takes "A woman out
TO dinner, but some mar has to be pro-
vided for his wife.
I'm just useful at a dinner and that's
why | get invited. I'm not good look
ing and never said a bright thing in
my life but I can talk a streak of stuff
and nonsense that is necessary to keep
a dinner going. I'm g~ood-natured and
amiable. L like everybody and so | get
along comfortably with my neighbors.
In a mild sort of way, / suppose, | am
amusing. And then I'm a good laugher.
| laugh at all the good things that are
said and at many Of them that are not
SO good. | get in my own li.'e jokes
when the time ONE and so we row
along through the dinner, working nv
passage and my hostess smiling APP
prevail on me
"Oh, no; it's mo- a bit damaging to
my vanity. simply know its so and
accept it cheerfully. can't dance for
shuckS; SO I'm of no earthly use at a
dance. If were a good dancer I'd
probably come in for all that, too. My
strong point is n dinner. and so I'm
wanted there and not al n dance. II
doesn't wound my vanity a bit. ! en-
JOY the dinner. Having a lot of pretty
women around the table and listening
to them and taxing to them is lots
more fun than sitting alone in a club
with only a lot of ghostlike walters to
amuse you. It's a perfectly fair bar
gain. talk and am sweet-tempered
for my lerriage, and | get on the ferry
a good dinner and enjoyable surround
ings. That's all there is to it, and as
for the honor of the thing and all that.
there's no more honor in my being in
vited to dine out every evening han
there would be in going out to fiddle
for a party at a regular price. / talk
and get my dinner and pleasant com-
pany. The other man gets his s. or
$40, or whatever the price is, and i'd
dies"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09
KNOWLEDGE

Brings comfort and improvement and
tends TO personal enjoyment when
rightly used. The many, who live bet
ter than Others and enjoy life more, with
less expenditure, by more promptly
adapting the worlds best products to
the'needs Of physical being, will attest
the value TO health of the pure liquid
laxative principles embraced in the
remedy, Syrup Of Figs.
Its excellence is due TO It's presenting
IN the form most acceptable and pleas
ant TO the taste, the refreshing and truly
beneficial properties of a perfect lax
ative; eflectuilly cleansing the system,
dispeHing colds, headaches and fevers
and permanently curing constipation.
1t has given satisfaction 10 millions and
met with the approval Of the medical
profession, because it acts on the Kid
neys, Liver and Bowels without weak
ening them and it is perfectly free from
every Objectionable substance.
Syrup Of Figs is for sale by all drug.
gists in SOC and 81 bottles, but it is man
ufactured by the California Fig Syrup
Co. only, whose name is printed on every
package, also the name, Syrup Of Figs,
and being well informed, you will not
accept any substitute if offered.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09
Care of the Ears.

A prominent physician says that more
than half Of the ear troubles from which
people suffer during the cold weather
can be traced 10 the habit of picking at
the ears with the finger nails or hairpins
or some other hard substance, which IT.
rItates the delicate inside of the ear.
Instead Of this injurious picking" the
ears should be washed ont with warm
water and a little good soap, and thor
oughly dried after the operation. II
th<ears are sensitive a little cotton may
be put in before going into the open
air, though this i apt to make them
even more sensitive. In extremely Geld
weather before veuturing out a good
way to clean the ears is to wrap the
corner Of n towel around the finger. and
with a little cold cream carefully wipe
out the auricle. 1t will remove every
particle of dust and viii really protect
the ears from the cold, but it can scarce
ly be recommended for regular use.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09
Some North German Superstitions.

II you are superstitious there are
many things you must not do. In north
Germany you must not spin during the
twelve nights OF Christmas, lest YOU
should walk after your death; nor after
sunset on Saturday. for then mice will
eat your work. Speaking of eating. il
you want to have money and luck ali
the year round you must not fail to eat
behring's on New Years day; nor, il you
wish to be lucky, must you rock an
empty cradle, or spill salt wantonly, or
cross knives, or point at the stairs. IL
you leave a dirty cloth on the table over
night you will make the angels weep;
If you point upward to the rainbow you
will make the angels feet bleed. and II
you talk Of cabbages while looking ut
The moon you viii hurt the feelings Of
the man In il, who was a cabbage
stealer In his salad days.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09

Mr.. Newedd-well. we are beginning
housekeeping. and ] presume the sim.
p'est plan will be for me to give you a
regular amount every week for ex-
penses. Just figure up what IL will
cost.
Mrs. Newedd-I could never do that
In the world-so many things 10 count
you know; but let-me-see. oh. I have
it' i have thought OF a much simpler
plan.
All right, my angel. what In Il?
You figure up what II viii cost you for
car rare M lunches and give me the
rest.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09
no o that night.

no more that night.
1t h. an early party, ell things ION.
sidered, and Dora Talbot, going TO her
room about two O'clock. stops before
Florences door and knocks softly
thereon.
Come in" calls Florence gently.
Il pave Just stopped for a moment to
express the hope that you are not i'll.
dearest says smooth-tongned Dora,
advancing towards her. How early
you lett us, | shouldn't have known
how early only Mr.. D%ynecourt told me.
Are you sure You are not illyn
Not IN the least. Only a little fatjpu-
ed" replied Florence calmly.
"Ah, no wonder. with your exertions
before the dancing commenced. and
your unqualified success. You reigned
over everybody. darling. Nobody could
hope even 10 divide the honorS Of the
evening with YOU. Your acting was
simply superb
Thank YOU SAYS Florence. who il
moi III bed. but is sitting in a chair
drawn near a window. through which
the moonbeams are fiinging their pale
rays. She is clad III a clinging white
dressing-gown that makes he's beauty
sainthke; and has all her long hair fall
ing loosely round her shoulders.
Nnal Il charming evening il has
been. exclaims Dora ecstatically.
clasping her hands. aud leaning her
arms Oh the back of a chair. Il hardly
know when | felt so thoroughly happy"
Florence shudders visibly. you en-
joyed Yourself, OF COURSE" continues
Dora. Every one Taved about Won.
You made at least a dozen conGutsts:
one or half a one" with "A careful hes
itation IN her ann intended To inn
press her listener-"is as much a. poor
little insignificant me can expect"
Florence looks at her questioningly.
Il think one really honest lover is
worth a dozen others" she saws. her
voice trembling. DO YOU mean me to
understand, Dora. that you have
gained one tonightf'
Florence's whole soul seemed To hang
OH her Cousins answer. Dora shippers.
aud tries to blush. but in reality grows
"a shade paler. She is PLAYING for u
CTo be Continued)
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09
TOMORROW.

There's "A yearning and "A sorrow
In this weary life OF care.
There's a hoping for the morrow
There's a faith from love 20 borrow,
There's a load of grief 20 bear.
There's a waiting and "A watching
In this world OF woe and sin.
Praying that Gods love unending
From the heavenly life descending.
Bids our faith to enter in.
There Is hoping. there Is trusting
In this life we live today
There's a faith In Owe believing,
There is joy i'm faith receiving.
There's a light shines on the way.
Ever hoping, trusting. watching,
Soon this life will pass away
BY the faith from love We borrow
God knows well the long tomorrow
VIII be brighter for today.
r 4. J,
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09

Friend-What are you at now?
Observation-Disclosures thing OF the age.
Millions in 1t. ] am making n steam
man-regular man, all iron and steel.
with steam as the motive pewer.
Can he draw a wagon?
No, I'm afraid not.
Carry burdens, perhaps?
No, he'd upset.
Might row a boat, maybe?
Too heavy.
Might fix him so he could tend the
furnace? ~
Couldn't possibly.
Or carry the baby?
Too risky.
Then what in creation will he be
good for? Where are the millions to
come in?
ahali rem him out to break in new
shoes.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09
RanAde Of In.f GlriA

There ara Gladys and Mae ana Lcnore
And ksthsryn tksthlyu. OF lstel,
But what under heavens blue floor
Has become Of the names out Of
date?
There may h- 4 Mattie or Mate
But these one regards with dtElaiU-
What has become or brave Kate
Aud wher. I'm the wide world Is jane
At the tea parties Melitas pour
And finger the tea pots and plate.
You meet MeliEauds by the score.
With MaTies you 90 out 10 skate;
I'm vain do YOU linger and wait
For a girl with q name short and plain.
Where Is Lille or Rose sedate-
And whore In The wide world is Jane?
Gseult smith Oh, Jet me implore
VIII Guiuevcve Boxes be my fate?
Or That's. Maisis or Houore-
some unprououuteahle wife for Il
mate"
There are Five. Fauchon. and Non
cite
And Zoe and Famine and Elayue-
Have Cora ana Nell Quit the state?
And whore In the wide world ~ Jane?
Princess, IN this tetc-e-fete
You'll likely refuse 30 explain
But where the pardon mel dickens Is
And whore iu the wide world is jane
Chicago Record.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09

Wife-Why are you in such a rush to
get the great America European Ency-
clopedia as soon as il out?
Husband-I want to stick il up in
plain view in my Office, so that the sub
scription agents will see it when they
come to sell me one. IL will save $50
worth of time.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09
InspenkahIY MiserahIe

Ii the man or woman troubled with dys-
pepsia. Heart palpitations. sour stomach,
heartburn, uneasiness OF The nerves, OPP
preston or a sense of emptiness at the pit
OF the stomach, are among is symptoms.
Hostetter's Stomach Bitters eradicates IL,
and entirely oyercomes constipation, bill
iousness, rheumatic. kidney and malarial
complaints. Use this thorough remedy
systematically and II will achieve perma-
nant results.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09

There Is more Catarrh I'm this section Of
the country than all other diseases put to-
gether, and until the last few years was
supposed TO be incurable. For a great
many years doctors pronounced IL a local
disease, and prescribed local remedies. and
by constantly failing 10 cure with local
treatment, pronounced IL incurable. Sci
ence has proven catarrh to he a constitu-
tional disease and therefore requires ON
stitutional treatment. Halls Catarrh Cure,
manufactured by F. j. Cheney & Co, To-
ledo, Ohio, is the only constitutional cure
on the market. Ii Is taken internally in
doses from 10 drops to a t~easpoonful. II
acts directly on the blood and mucous sur
faces of the system. They offer one hun
dred dollars for any case IL fails TO cure.
Send for circulars and testimonials. Adj
dress,
F. ]. CHENEY & CO, Toledo, o.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09
The Plant Of u Child.

Inc fiatnt OF n Child.
Ny little baby brother
soon two years old will be.
j would not like another
As mischievous as he.
~ g no seem TO matter
where try to play.
lie comes, pitter-patter,
ANA takes my things away.
should | with blocks he making
a church both high and grand,
soon Its walls are shaking
beneath his helping hand.
Or. II / am reading
a story I'm my book,
Ills little voice comes pleading
1hat he may have a look.
Oh, he Is such a worry,
don't know what I'll 10.
! wish that he would hurry
And be a big boy, too.
william West In Chicago Record.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09
Head for ECONOMY.

(which would you rather be-, said
m ambitious young nan to another
"a great orator ora great writer?"
"Td rathc- be q great orator." waa
tie answer. awhen you just talk IL
doesn't cost anything for postage
stamps. wAshinkton Star.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09

Shelf every atom OF the human
body is renewed every seven years I
annot be the same woman that you
married.
He-l've been suspecting that for
some time.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09

Wife-How people gaze at 'my new
dress! i presume they wonder if I've
been shopping in Paris.
Husband-More likely they wonder
( I've been robbing a bank.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09

Friend-Why do you kill off'so many
people in every act?
Dramatist-The company ia small
and that is the only way l can work In
all the characters.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09
Already.

he not hesitant with me.
For ! go TO Already.
winter IL stern monarch here,
AND without the window there,
Scornful OF the ~leafless year,
Breathes his frost upon the air.
Now from all the hapless trees
Every frisky dryad fees.
he not hesitant with me.
Let me 40 to Already.
BE not hesitant with me.
Come and go to Already.
We have drunk to- summers wine
Every yellow drop IL gone.
Plucked the last grape from the vine,
1onder woodlands hide the fawn,
Where beneath the Young moons glance,
Iithesome dryads throng and dance,
Be not hesitant with me!
To the woods Of Already
Chicago Record.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09

The Periophthalmus, a native Of the
Malayan mangrove swamps. is the only
fish which breaths with its tail. IL the
tail be painted over with oil or varnish
the fish dies OF suffocation.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09

Daughter-What in the world shall
we do, ma? II will ruin u new din
ner set to have the dishes warmed ip
the oven, and the servant positively
refuse to use hot water for that pur-
pose, because il amounts to a second
dish washing.
Mother Ia lady of intsElect)--Here-
after we shall winter In Florida.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09
1000 Bu. Potatoes Fer Acre.

Wonderful yields In potatoes, oats,
corn, farm and vegetable seeds. Cut
this Out and send sc postage TO the
John A. Salzer Seed Co., La Crosse,
Wis, for their great seed book and
sample of Giant Spurry. Gnu
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09

COMPROMISING must be crazy.
He has married a widow with a family
of children.
Jack-Not SO crazy as You might
think. lie has moved into a street
with a trolley line on it.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09

Husband-My dear, don't you think
hatdress ~a-er-trife immodest?
Wife-Immodest, 6oodness.me% just
look at the sleeves.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09

IL" 1t will be 10 your interest when
writing TO advertisers 70 say you saw the
advertisement in this paper.
SIOUX CRY PRINTING Co. No. 554-lO.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09

First Villager-Wall, that's the queerest
thing | ever saw.
Second Villager-Eh? What?
First Fillager-A bicyclist goin' along
the public street, and he isn't tryin' TO
break the record.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09

Landlord-Most of those restrictions
which | put into operation last fall can
be removed now.
Janitor-Sure | nj, e cud see phwat
good they did except to kape ali the
tinants mad.
Landlord-That was the idea. by
keeping them Tuning at you they did
not notice how little heat there was in
the steam pipes.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09
Drought Proof Field Corn.

Here Is something new. Despite 40
days without a drop of rain. SalZer's
new Yellow Dent Corn yielded on d
large acreage over sixty-eight bushels
per acre. while the Department OF
Agriculture reports the average yield
ON corn but a trife owe twenty bushels
per acre in the United States. Now
think of the possibilities OF this corn I'm
a good corn season! 1t will go double
this yield then, or 1856 bushels.
II You Will Cut This Ont and Send 1t
with 14c postage TO the John A. SaIzer
Seed Co, In Crosse. Wis, you will
get free n package of this Drouti; Proof
Corn and their mammoth catalogue.CNU
Miss Reader-How strange IL would he IL
fashion should go back to the old time
brass Knockers, instead Of electric bells.
Mr.. Sardonique-It would seem strange.
The Knockers always work.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09

Old Grumps-Sure that girl loves you in
stead of your money?
Son-Absoultely. Why, she actually
keeps count of the kisses l give her.
Old Grumps-Hum! That's bad. She
may keep 1t up after marriage.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09

If You a a Worrying Cough. or any
Lung or Throat trouble, use at once DR..
ID. Jayne's Expectorant, and don't parley
with what may prove 10 be q dangerous
condition.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09
Our scandinavians number 1000. go
Jerusalem has l35 liquor bars.

Piso's Cure cured me Of a Throat and
Lung trouble of three years standing
u. Cady. Huntington, Ind, Nov. II, 1884.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09

Jinks-I tell you what it is, there is
nothing like having lots offriends.
Winks-I presume not.
Jinks-No, Stree. Justsas quick as ]
lose a job my friends all rush around
hunting a new place for me. so as to
a V IN the trouble OF borrowing
money from them.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09

There Is a possibility OF an echo organ,
electrically connected with the present
instrument. being placed in the triforium
OF Westminster Abbey.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09
wife-Do not newspaper writers sit

up an uikut'
Husband believe so.
That explains IL. then.
Explains what?
The household department of this
paper recommends roast potatoes for
breakfast. One would have 10 sit up
all night TO have the oven hot enough,
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09
SOUVENIR COINS

One Dollar will buy q Worlds Fair Souvenir
coin. Write the Sioux City Printing Company
Sioux City, Iowa.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1895-03-09

F. j. CHENEY & co, Toledo. q.
Sold by Druggists, Toe.
The Anaconda standard., 1895-03-02

WASHINGTON, Feb. 2S.-Repree entative
Caminetti presented to the house the pro-
posed amendment to the exls ing law per-
mitting the granting of rights of way on
the public domain to the extent OF % feet,
together with the use of necessary ground
not exceeding 40 acres, to any citizen or
association for the purpose of generating.
manufacturing or distributing electric
powers. "In California and elsewhere"
says the accompanying report, "small
towns and cities in valleys can util 70
electric light and power at a minimum
cost if allowed the right of way across the
government lands to the foothills"
The Anaconda standard., 1895-03-02

on one of Paris Gibson's ranches ne ar
town. Pete Pllgram, Jack Eaton and n
number of other bench land farmers have
been plowing for several days. 1t is safe
to state that in few If any places on the
American continent in this latitude have
the tillers of the soil thought of seeding in
February. Early seeding must be the
rule with the bench land farmer If he
wants to raise a good crop. The reason
is apparent. The soil is moist and unless
the weather be unusually cold the germs
will take hold at once even though. several
snow storms may follow the seeding. By
the time the spring rains arrive the grain
will he firmly rooted and in every way in
condition TO be benefited by the May and
June showers.
There is no stauncher advocate of
bench land farming than Paris G lbson, as
the readers of the STANDARD well know.
1t is not n theory with him. He has
demonstrated it's feasibility for several
years on his bench land farm near Great
Falls. His advice to the prospective
bench land farmer has always been to
seed early, if possible about the last of
February. A good crop of fife wheat of a
superior quality will be the result if the
farmer takes time by the forelock and
plants that gram as carry as possible. ii
on the other hand tho bench land farmer
sets down and waits for fine April
weather before putting in his crop it will
be safe to WAGER that he will not make
success of farming without irrigation. He
Will become disgusted and the next
season will find him going up and down
the county telling everybody, IL told you
so, you can't farm without water"
Luckily there are not very many farmers
of that class here this year on the bench
land farms aroun ! Great Falls. Mr..
Glbson's persistent efforts have not been
i'm VAN. HIS advice aud his demonstra-
tions of his theory have borne fruit at
last.
\ piece of property on Central avenue
just west of Third street, % feet front, the
old quarters of the Security bank, was
sold yesterday by c. NJ. Webster to Frank
Coombs of this city for $4,000.