The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-06-05
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Many people can do worse than read
spring poetry. They might write it.
Philadelphia Times.
Strawber---"W her father willing
to help you out ?" Singerly---" That's
the way he acted. "--.Brooklyn Life.
"Tom, whom did you say our friend
Lawley married?" "Well, he married
$40, 900. forgot her other name"
lid Bits.
"Do you think the new boarder is
permanently" "Yes, indeed He threat
ems continually to leave. "---Ohicago
nterOcean.
He-'1'm awfully in love with her,
but wouldn't have her know it for
the world" She $50 she told me-"
Pail Mall Gazette.
ooh, doctor, how do you do? You
look killing this evening" THANK
you but I'm not; Tn off duty, you
know. "---Brooklyn Life.
"Oh, my dear Mrs. -, how glad
am to see you. 1t is four years since we
met, and you recognized me immedi-
atelyP" "Oh, yes; | recognized the
hat"
Tommy Asker ---"Now, il you was to
git to be artist, what would you
like to draw" Andy Quick-.-"A
check on the bank. - Philadelphia
Inquirer.
First Boarder-" What's the star
boarder making all that hubbub about
over that berry pie?" Second Board
er-"I guess he found the berry,
Syracuse Post.
Squildig-"He's o great criminal
lawyer, isn't hep" McSwilligen-
"Well, I believe he always stops short
of actual criminality." - Pittsburg
Chronicle Telegraph.
Say, Jack, what is the capital of
Switzerland" Jack (who has just re-
turned from abroad) why, the
money they get from travellers, of
course. Boston Bulletin.
Figgs-"Myl but isn't that pic
ture?" Fogg -"Quite stylish. But
what is itP Looks rather large for
piano lamp, and rather too small for
woman. Boston Transcript.
She 80 the counts relatives con-
slider it mesalliance?" He-"De-
cidedly. Tho girl has only quarter
of n million, and the count owes three
times as much as that. Judge.
Professor Ito his wife) "Elise,
have promised to deliver an address
tomorrow evening on the rational ex-
ran- raN Nha Il ,,,ik Ia.
forget about it. t."-Fliegende Blaetter.
Gussy-"Why do you 50 persist
emily wear the hair of another woman
ON your head?" Beatrice --"For tho
same reason that You wear the skin of
another calf on your feet. The Great
Divide.
Goutran burst like a whirlwind in
upon his friend CASTOR. 'Will yon
be my witness?" "Going to fight?"
"No, to get married" CASTOR latter
pause) -"Can't you apologize?"--
Los Angeles Herald.
Her--"John, do believe the baby
has swallowed your collar button.
Him-"It won't take long to find out,
If he has he will be trying to crawl un-
der the bureau in few minutes. -
Cincinnati Tribune.
Wife Ito unhappy husband)-"I
wouldn't worry, john; it doesn't do
any good to borrow trouble. Husband
-"Borrow trouble? Great Caesar, my
dear, l ain't borrowing trouble; I'vo
got it to lend. - Colorado Sun.
Stern Parent-"You tell me that
you love my daughter and wish to
marry her. But how do you expect to
live on $500 year?" Loving Swain
-"Oh, come, now, your income must
be more than that V--Boston Tran
script
Nell-'Do you know, was all
alone in the conservatory for ten min.
utes with that fascinating Charles Ful'
lerton last evening, and l was 50
afraid" Belle-''So afraid OF what?
Afraid he was going to propose to
yon" Nell-"No; afraid he wasn't"
-Somerville journal
Mr.. Shandy (petulantly from his pill
low) -"Ethel, 1 know | heard noise.
Pm sure there's a woman in the house.
1 won't sleep wink unless you go
down and see." Mrs. Shandy texit
with reyolver) "Blame it all, Willie,
If you bother me like that again, I'll
send you baeE to your father. New
York Herald.