Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-05-03
THE TALL SILK HAT.
IT COSTS A SMALL FORTUNE FOR A
FELLOW TO DRESS UP TO ONE.

A Few Notes on This Deadly Head Cover
ing In General, with "a Word About
Judge Crabtree's First One In Particular.
An Experience ON the NewburG Boat.
You look sad, observed Major Dodge
10 his partner rs the latter strayed into the
office
d" l am always sad after dropping I'm at
the hattcrs 20 have my hat ironcd, " an
swered Judge Cmbtree. There are sad
scenes enacted in any place where silk hats
are sold.
STILL " said the major l have stood
among these hcartrcndiug mes, the floor
all sloppy with the tears OF the wrctches
about me, and been comparatively un
moved.
You may make lielt of this thing il
YOU want to, 80 returned the Judge " but |
insist that there is TO me something inf
nitcly saddcuiug in seeing young man
buying his hr,t silk hat, with a smile ON
his face and the proud fires of youthful
buoyancy burning in his eye. He knows
not what he does-that lac is forging the
first link in "a chain which he can never
rend asunder that lac Is forming habit
which will cling 20 him 50 long as he lives
Little does he realize hat silk hats cost SIS
apiece, and that the shape changes twice.
year just saw Snickctt that young
clerk In the office of Bulydick, Puflcr
Popllins q smith take the first downward
step. Poor fellow, he doesn't know that
he will soon be paying 500 for suit Of
clothes in his effort TO dress up To his silk
hat.
I we'll remember" went ON Judge
Crabtrce, how | myself first forsook the
narrow way of the low hat and entered
into the broad and easy plaisancc of the
silk hat Little did know that the shape
changes twice year, with an occasional
extra, like an evening paper if the matters
get hard up. l went into the gildcd silk
hat palace and said carelessly 10 tho clerk,
silk, please, rs, and -
Your head must have been bigger then
than il Is now
1T was This happened the next day
after l won my first case. seven and five
Clghths | say, and il was a snug ht ]
went out, family catching the stcalthy
footballs Of the Goddess of Fame close be-
hind me.
Il was at this time passionately inter
ested in "A young woman who afterward
married a druggist, IA walking sCoundrcl
who wore "A fur cap. ] had asked her TO
take water excursion with me, and she
had consented The next morning we
boarded an Albany day boat for Acwburg,
our intention being TO come back on the
boat we should meet there My heart was
light, for the sinister shadow Of that UNI
hanged apothocary had not yet fallen across
my pathway. ! talked gayly and leaned
against the rail of the boat with an easy,
graceful air l was mode>tly illustrating
70 the fair one the scene wherein ! had as
tonishcd the judge and caused the jury TO
sit IN open mouthcd wonder when my new
hat tumblcd of my head into the water. |
looked over the edge and saw il pass un-
der the port paddle wheel like a cham
payne cork beneath a tidal wave. ] tied
pocket handkerchief over my head and sat
down on low stool beside the girl and
talked about the interest felt in prison
reform
The corners Of the handkerchief flut-
tered about in the wind. and an lS-month-
old baby which woman was holding in
her lap near 10y called DranmaN every time
ne caught sight of me \ deckhand came
and sympathizcd with me and offered 10
lend me the hat of man who the day be-
fore had reversed my experience, having
left his hat on board and gone under the
port paddle wheel himself, but i declined
it. Ncwburg had moved up the river al
most 10 Albany that day, but we caught
up with il at last. As we disembarked the
deckhand came running 10 me with my
hat Oh the end of "a boat hook He explain
ed that ii had been caught in the paddle
wheel and had floatcd out when the steam
er stopped i took II, shook "a small fish
out of -, and we walked on to the other
boat.
TIN hat was not in good condition. 1t
was much battered with the pounding it
had got while going round with the wheel,
and it was water soaked, and its fur was
rubbed the wrong way and in some spots
worn off entirely, as If the hat was molt-
ing Ii occurred TO me that il needed 10
be gone over with currycomb, like "a
horse. But my handkerchief had become
unbearable, so / battered the hat into
shape with a brick, brushed il with
broom which borrowed from the fireman
and put it on. 1t fitted easier, since much
of the cloth, paper, leather, burlap, limo
leum and other ingredients had come out
felt that presented the appearance of a
passenger who had drowned himself
week before and had now rcpcnted and
come back on board 10 finish his journey.
We went up on the upper deck between
the smokestacks where the hat would dry
rapidly, and talked of the necessity OF
extending outdoor relief in the slums New
York retreated rapidly, but we caught il
10y hard steaminR. | thought felt an eel
wriggling in the hat once but it was only
piece of gimp which had fallen down.
heard q passenger refer to me as the sub
marine wonder and another explaining
that l was "A nineteenth century norman
thrown up by the paddle wheels. i envied
the thoughtful tourist who had gone under
the port wheel and left his hat to battle
with the unkind world We landed at last
and went home in "a cab, the driver look
ing at my hat and collecting his fare in
advance. We dropped the young lady at
her home, and at my door i gave the hat
10 the driver. Up 10 three or four years
ago he was still wearing it, carefully put
ting rubber coop over ii when il rained
50 that it shouldn't get wet. l bought
new hat, but l was really nothing out by
the mishap, as | found that the shape had
changed while | was up the river, and
should have had TO get a new one anyhow