Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1895-07-04
A BAD MEMORY.

l have shocking memory believe
was born so;' anyhow suffered a good
deal at school in the process of learning
the dates Of our sovercigns since tho con-
quest Even now have 70 think deeply
before l can remember my own date As
to my wite's hirthday-wcll, don't pre-
tend to guess that within six months,
My friends have often advised me to
I study an artificial memory system. did
! try one, or rather tried To try it, l bought
% handbook, and by way Of making . good
start forgot to pay for it, Then forgot &c
read ii, and when my wife logged my
memory couldn't for tho life OF mo RI.
member where had left the bcaStly thing
SO that system was u failure and never
! had the heart TO try another.
OF course it is quito useless to trust me
with letters for tho post. l have patiently
carried important misSiVoS III my pockets
for weeks together and been heartily
abused for my pains As u rule, no one
dreams Of asking mo To do shopping
commission, but one day, my better half
/ being laid up with u spraincd ankle was
sent into our town To get u stock of house.
hold ncccSSarieS l was provided with
lilEtt SlllluE ilSlS III CStSt 1 ANSN vi lllANiaN
one and battered myself that | should
come out of the ordeal with flying colors,
just rs l WAS starting my wife sent out
final message by the servant, and as |
was too lazy to pull out all the lists and
make three notes of it | tied knot in my
. handkerchief and forgot all about it,
got through my list of purchases brave,
! ly, then suddenly encountered the mne'
/ monte knot Did l remember what 1t
< meant? Not bit | hadn't the faiutcst
idoa At first was rather amused, then
l grow angry and registered II mental oath
that l wouldn't go home without cxCcut-
ing that mysterious commission.
I l returned to the George, whore my
horse WAS put up, and smoked pipe to
sharpen my wits. 1t was no use, So walk
ed out and stared into all the shop win
dows, If haply tho thing" might meet
my eye and cnlightcn my understanding.
That plan failed
l returned To the George and thought
over the letters Of the alphabet, coming
at last to the conclusion that the article
began with NJ That was tho nearest /
could get to it,
/ Then Jones camr into the smoking room.
Jones' | said, you know what an aw
full memory have Well, my wife asked
ne to get her something's and ! can't re
member what it was but l believe it be.
gins with Nj. l wish you'd suggest some
thing,
Money" said Jones promptly
! mo; it wasn't that today for Won
der. ~
Then Jones waXcd facctious and wrote
mo out u list of M'S--machinc guns, met.
ronomcs manglcS, matrimonial news, me,
chanical monkeys and 81 ON left him
ohuckling over his own idiotic fccbcnoss.
1T wasn't Iuogathcrium, was it?" he
inquired rs parting shot.
mo, said |, NOR u mcddlcsome mag
pic. "
He had rird me rather; but, after all,
he had given me u hint. l was pretty sure
of the Nj, and by consulting price list ]
might arrive ut n solution of my enigma.
l was prepared to swear that tho some
! thing was neither medicine nor music
, nor millinery, nor mullins Gncluding NIL
sorts of pastry, nor melons, rs typical OF
green stuff SO that my inquiries seemed
/ limited to groceries, hardware and butch.
cr's meat.
l wasn't quito certain about the last
! item, so | went to our shop and fccbly ask
cd the butcher if he thought wanted any
in no need of drink, but he urbancly in
formed me that he had sent us out u joint
that morning. So thanked him and re-.
| tired hastily.
Then procured m ironmongcrs cata-
! logue and studied it in vain. There was
nothing at all feasible under IN. (" As
last resource, | returned to the grocrr's,
where had already made extensive pur-
chases and asked To see his price list.
Even then | couldn't spot the thing, but
on the Oft chance Of making n lucky shot
| i invested heavily in macaroni, mustard,
matches, marmaladc, picked mushrooms
and timed milk Then ! cudgclcd my
] brains till | felt quite stupid and finally
gave it up ms "a bad job, drove home in
disgust with enough parcels Of food TO
victual polar expedition.
"Ncllir, v | said the moment got in
doors, 'you sent me y message just rs ]
was starting
Eyes, and didn't YOU
"Stop q momcnt Didn't it begin with
Mp"
"Nore or less.
"Thcrc / knew it did But I'm very
sorry, dear, couldn't remember what it
was. | sat in the George nearly two
hours trying to think OF it,
Then out of the house you go this In.
slant! | particularly told you not to 90
near the place MS they'd had a case OF
measles there. y
1t all came back TO me in II moment,
that was her parting injunction She
turned me out into the garden felt too
crushed to rcsist-and insisted on my
standing in the filthy smoke Of n bonfire
till she thought ! was sufficiently disin
fcctcd ! wasn't allowed 10 kiss the chill
drcn for % week.
Catch me going on any more crrands!-
New Budget
Names Babes In the Woods Story.
In 1879 James Adams of York became
.ltI - Lii. II..1.r..