Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1895-12-04
THINGS HEARD AND SEEN

accident insurance agent won a reputation
in his profession. One night when he was
working fer another man. before he OBJ
tanned an agency for himself, he held
up by two robbers He had SO in his
pocket. for which he had worked whole
week. This he gave to the robbers. and by
tine time they had searched him he began
TO recover his usual composure. When
they had completed their hives legations, he
began speech, reminding them of the dam
| ger attached to their calling, and how very
necessary in such hazardous work for them
to have accident insurance policies He
| warmed to the theme, and soon had them
Interested. He had blank applications in
| his pocket. and they could not excuse
| themselves with the plea that they had no
money, for he had just given them the
price of two policies. In few minutes the
| trade was concluded. the agent again had
his money and the robbers had paid the
fee on two accident insurance applications.
AS this first payment belonged to the solicit
tor he was exactly even. This stroke of
business won for him his first advance
ment. r '-
| :: * = =
| There is n sign On 18th street which
states without explanation or punctuation,
| Shoes shined inside l WAS passing it,
accompanied by a travelling man, who said:
| There could be book written signs
and names. Now that one there; no one
wants his shoes shred inside. There ale
some peculiar combinations of names and
words in signs. notice that a man named
Garden is gardner here in Washington
! Cook N Frey used to be in the hotel bust
ness in Nashville Congressman Steele Of
Indiana formerly had law partner named
Robb at Marion, Ind; Hoss Harness
| copaltners at kokomo, Ind; Day & Knight
are leading grocers of Keokuk, Iowa; Gan
der deals in corn at st. Louis and it is
said that l. ketcham, for many years
leading lawyer of Jacksonville. H., had u.
| Nhan hon fnr rtr,nr n1t ,,oh LOT
ter, since l have known him, has been
farmer in that county, and client of Judge
| I<etcham's. At Paxton, ILL.,, Alex. Sample
| has a sign without punctua ton which reads.
| IA Sample Lawyer" while at Mt Vernon,
| In the same state, an undertaken named
| Fly announces his business with sign
reading, Fly Coffin Shop" Near the Union
| depot in Kansas City Mrs. Murphy has
succeeded her deceased husband in the
| ownership of saw filing shop, and an
ncunces the fact by her sign, Mrs. Mu-
| ply, Saw Dentist"
* x * K x
One of the most scathing criticisms l
ever heard was at a literary club meeting
| few nights ago. young man whose
| friends refer to him "a rising author
read one of his stories. 1t was listened to
| with great attention by all present, among
whom was a lady who is a successful
| writer. She vas asked how she liked the
! story, to which her reply was: 81 have been
informed that he is rising author, and
| do not doubt 1t. If my life is prolonged
until he has arisen, l will be glad then to
hear his latest story"
| l was amused one day last week 1t was
cold and the drizzlng rain chilled the Pc
destrians as they faced the cutting wind.
| A tramp stopped a gentleman on Pennsyl-
Vania avenue and began the old, old story.
EXCUSE me, SIR he said; Il have seen bet
ter days. Indeed have, SIR
We'll, L don't doubt it, was the cheerful
response. You were certainly alive yes
terday. In fact, hope you will see bet
ter one tomorrow. If you have any sug-
gestions to make about improving the
weather, hurry up. If not you will ex-
cuse me- and the gentleman passed on.
the tramp watching him as far as he corld
see him, unable to make any response
whatever. When he stopped the next
man he changed his story and asked for
| aims in the shortest possible way
x x x K
There was an interesting episode yester-
day in a well-known Washington cafe. The
proprietor has a French chef in his en-
ploy, and the result is that the menu cards
can he guaranteed to puzzle any Ameri-
can.
Yesterday two gentlemen sat at a table
One was from the west, and his French
! education had been neglected The other
mad but recently come TO Washington
from Paris. After reading the menu the
vesterner said 20 the waiter: II can't
read French. Bring me good dinner"
Meanwhile the FTerchman was trying to
figure out the words Pardon, monseer,"
he said. 'eet ees not re Francois. Eet ees
not re Eenglish. l know not what Get ees
Zere ees Re soup. Eat ees French for re
rat "ant not re rat soup. Eet ees hor-
| reeble."
The proprietor heard it. and upon inyes-
tisation found that his guest was correct
There will now be a rev French chef, who
understands the French language.
Tommy is five-year-old boy. He has a
dog Tippie. A few Gays ago his mother
sent him after a bucket of milk, and upon
his return he said: Mamma, you needn't
give Tippie and me any. We've had our
share" WELL you and Tippie can have
the rest" she said. Tommy had very long
curls He hasn't now. His sister is an
amateur artist, and Tommy found some
varnish and ran it through his hair to per-
fume II. Then it had to be cut. Tommy
has pet pigeon: he thought it was cold
and put it in the oven to warm it. 1t was
rescued in time to save its life. but all of
its feathers came cut. Now Tommy has
no hair and his pigeon has no feathers.
I; x < x x
NJ. E. Young, who has made electricity
study FOR some years past, believes that he
has finally discovered a small and mex
rensive dynamo and means of generating
power that will work genuine revolution
cation is for lanterns. A man can carry
one of these lanterns in his hand or it can
be fastened to his coat lapel, throwing a
stream of light in trent that will enable
him to walk with perfect safety on the
darkest nights. While somewhat more ex-
pens.ve than the ordir cry oil lantern, these
, portable electric lights will be cheap enough
to enable men of small means to purchase
them.
X x x *
The friends of an artist whose reputation
is national are having a good deal of fun
at his expense. A stranger in Washington
recently built a house, and inquiring of q
friend for a good painter was directed to
the artist.
you a painter. 1 believe, said the
gentleman, entering the studio
Yes, sir"
We'll, l want you to come out to my
house and figure on some work.; said the
caller.
Yes, but you are mistaken. 1 am not
that kind of painter"