Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1895-05-08
attausiae Gathtrinas.

HS4 L 1uC OopauSSO hiGSa aNAoS Ill
the street by tying his forefeet together.
s@ Let any one be idle long enough,
and he will break out into some fol-
ly.
p@ What should be done with peo-
pie who are too mean to live, and who
are still not fit to die?
~ If a man dies and leaves his
estate in an uncertain condition, the
lawyers become his heirs.
s@ More than 100 callings, profess
ions and occupations are open to wom-
en- of the present day.
D9 Babies do not hear we'll because
the bones of their ears are too soft to
convey the sensation of sound.
B@ The average man does as he
pleases, and then growls because other
men expect the same privilege.
B@ The older a man grows the more
convinced be becomes that he will
have to be his own best friend.
s@ Doctor-Well how do you feel
today? Patient-I feel as if I had
been dead a week. Doctor-Hot-eh ?
s6F 1t is somewhat paradoxical that
the man who most worries about his
health is the man who has none.
s@ Never do anything that you need
be ashamed of, and then you never
mead be ashamed of anything you do.
~ Many men claim to be firm in
their principles, when, really they are
only obstinate in their prejudices.
sdT Encouraging reports of return
ing prosperity are received from repre-
sentative manufacturing centres.
R6 A tombstone is about the only
place where the average man really
doesn't care to have his name in print.
sdF Why is it bad for boy to be
given a mans clothes? Because in
such way he acquires loose habits.
Rar Some people give their conf
.dence as others give presents-for the
sake of what secrets they will be told
in return.
B@ Extravaganza begets poverty,
and poverty begets so many children
that several Of them haven't got
names.
B@ An authority on such matters
states that the United States have lost
more men in war since 1776 than any
nation in Europe.
sR The metal in Scent nickel is
worth about half a cent, and Is cents
will purchase copper enough to make
% worth of cents.
s@ Men are very much like the boy
who grumbles about his sore toe, but
can't tell which foot it is on without
taking off his shoes.
~ The czar of Russia smokes
pipe, and no brand of cigars has been
discovered that can tempt him to for
sake his meerschaum.
s9. If the law against carrying con-
cealed weapons was literally enforced,
some people would have to carry their
tongues out Of their mouths.
% A flea can jump over barrier
500 times it's own height. At that
rate a man. could jump over a wall
more than half a mile high.
s@ It is we'll that there is no one
without fault, for he would not have
a friend in the world he would seem
to belong to different species.
a@ Language is curious assortment
of incongruities. We say, for example,
that a man is in his cups, when as
matter of fact, the contents of his cups
are in him.
pdF A snake was recently charmed
out of hole by the music of concer-
tina. No doubt the reptile preferred
to die rather than listen to the awful
strains any longer.
BE- Gold is coming into the Carson
mint from California mines at the rate
of 81 100000 month. If the hydrau-
lie mines could be worked, the amount
would be more than doubled.
s@ If we could bear our own disap-
pointments with a small fraction of the
equanimity with which we bear the
disappointments of others, what a
sweet and delightful world this would
be to live in.
~ A hog. fell into we'll near Snap
ping Shoals, Newton county, Ca, dur
ing Christmas, and remained go days
without food or water. 1t weighed
only Is pounds when taken out, hav-
ing lost 100 pounds.
B6 A happy misquotation by young
lady, whose gentleman caller stayed
too late, caused a speedy good bye.
The clock struck l2, and she remark
ed, "Now is the witching hour of night,
when people yawn."
W Nevada is the most sparsely set
tied State. There are nearly two and
a half square miles to each inhahitant |;
next comes Idaho, with one inhabitant
to each square mile. Montana and
Wyoming each have less than one.
@ 1t is ruled by the postal authori-
ties that any reduction in the size of a
postal card by clipping, rounding off
the corners, or otherwise, will subject
the receiver of card to a charge Of
one cent on delivery.
Mp The distance of the sim from the