davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1895-12-25

IS 19eint, als ob bas 6ieiige Rau6geiin=
bel it6 DerIbporen bat, benz Snfpetto1
SGoad, Dem taum pon i9perer araat9ei
geleIenen 8d6errf9er Der NorD1eite, 0as Sc.
ben 10 f9per tpie m0gli9 gu MAIDEN. 81
tDurDe Sdm1tag Mbenb gegen z ubr IN be1
GldrffraBe, Der belebteIten 8erfe6rsaber Je:
1es StaDttbetls, BON 3lpet 8anbtten Elm +
oeriregener &aubiberfaQ beriibt, tDte er n
rer 8erbre9erSGbronif bes g}orbleitezpoli;
5e;z0itrtfts po6l nod niht per3ei6net 1tebt
I'm bic angegebene 3eit iprang an be1
Gcfe BON Glartz unb Map1etruBe Der 9ol3=
bdnbler Wiliam eSones, ipel9er nit ietnea
Satin i'm 6auie go. 349 Dearborn Mbe
nnbnt, bon Der &dbel<Gar unb {6tdte id
an, Ieiner Wobnung au3uI9reiten, ols e1
BON 5pet ne6en einem 5ubrpert itebenoer
&erlen niebergef9lagen tpurbe, Die ibr Spfe.l
auf ben bereitge6altenen @agen parfen, nit
9efen aubedten unb bas 9ferO bur9 fret
qebiee @npenbung Der Beit1@e gu rale1be1
Gle entrieben. Na9bem lie ben 8eiinnungsz
10 fen u~ntertpegs Inn leine aus $3.50 bette
senbe 8aar19aft unb UNI lI6r uno Settle
erleidtert, iparfen tie i'm am 6uBe Der Snz
tariozStraBe in ben See unb iagten oapon
Das unfreitpiuige talte Sab erpedte biz
Qebens9eiiter bes 8etGIbten, benz es mad
et.:iaer &nitrengung gelang, bas retten0t
ufer 3u erreiben.
YubelnaB begab er 1i9 na@ Der St Gbiz
cago Mpe. : polt5etftutiDn unb meloete bor.
benz Gapt. S9aad 1ein fatales Mbenteuer
bas linn beipabe bas Qeben 9efoiet, begaf
ii9 banm nn9 6auIe unb lieB etnen Org
berbeirufeqn, Der fetiteQte, baB Der Patient
uuBer Spei Murbsn an Der re9ten Seltt
bes SCOPES cine ftorfe @rtGltung Dapon=
getragan bat, Die ibn fir me6rere Sage al
bas 8ett fefeln tpirD.
eSnfpeftor @6aad betru1te bic Mufarbei=
tung 6es Sales Gapt. 2arIen, 2ieutemani
Gu6mpre urtb 5ipei 9stectipes, pel6e ii
Der Ontario @traBe, in Der gfdbe bes Gee
ufers, 3erbrp9ene @agent6eile gefunoer
6a6en, : bus bette s3ei9an bafiir, baB BIZ
8anbiten es iebr eilig batten, ii3 aus BEN
@taub gu maben 9tefes (bus Nuffinber
Der @agentbsile) lit obsr Bis jebt Der ein3igt
M~n6altspuntt, BEN bic Yotiaei but. Sn.
Ipeftor S9aad ~erfldrte, oaB er an Der
Ma6rbeit Der Nn9absn Sones' stpeifle, b
es i6m .tnberrfbar 5ei, baB ein 10 berpe9enes
&Guberfiid in ieinem 9iftritte osriibt per,
BEN f0nne. 4u9 5erbri3t er ii9 ben &opi
bariiber, dpie !Spnes, trDbbem er uiabergez
f9lugen unb ms 8aRer geporfen purbe
10 5d6lebtg fem fOnnte, 6uB er ni9t ertranf
Nher fatal lit u1b bIetbt Tim bic mpiteri01e
Nffaire bo9, bd. bqst Bubtifum bon inn
bsr1an9en tpir6, baB er bic fre9en Gduz
Der einfangen lln6 bef ftrafenben @ere@tig=
felt iberlpeiie.
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1895-12-25
Gin 0pfer oes Trunkes.
nlidael :. Bern, Elm friberer 21u:
eeiteuter Ger pabf'faen 4raueret,
Ourd oeu Grunf gum Daeabunoen. herobeez
f%unfen. = Or beIdiiet feline uueIld!ide
frau uno miro ~perhaftet.

Mt3aeG s. 8ern, Der nod bor 5tpei Sab
rem ols @orI teber beg 8erianbt9e59Gftes Der
Babitf9en 8rauerei inW1ilpaufee nit etnem
iGbrlt9en @ebalte BON $4,000 angefieqt mar,
lpurbe Son1tog, Elm berfommener berz
f6napiter @aga6onb, in eine 3eQs
Der Sbsffiel0 Nbe. : Poli3eiitation gez
fperrt. 8ern, benz bas @lenb <unb
bic Sruntiu9t ibren unbertil9baren Sten1z
pei aufgebriidt BADEN, lit iebt ,35 Sabre alt.
@r berbeiratbete ii9 Dor II Sabren nit Der
SCOOTER bes biefigen prominenten &npalts
6. s, @oOt. Sn jener 3ett betleibste CT bic
Stelung etnes 8ertebrsz&gente Der Daz
baiba@iienbabn unb be5og Elm iGhrIi9es Sc
balt BON $4,000. Die @be, Der, Elm Sinh.
pel9es iebt 8 Sabre 5dblt, entfproB, mar
cine fe6r gliidli9e, Bis fi9 Bern benz Srunfe
ergd6. Ils ale 8oritelungen ieiner 8Or=
gefeBten ni3ts mebr alien, tpurOe er bor
Is WOnaten entldfen. SeBt begann er Elm
mItes unge3igeltes Qeben, betrant fi9 tGgz
li9, perieBte allein i'm leBten Sabre fir
$500 Mn5iige unb b~erfaufte fir $1,000
M0bel, um ben @rl0s bur9 feline INNER
burtige 8eble gu iagen.
@Dr 6 Monaten 0erlieB t6n feline 5rau,
bic er miB9an0elt bate, unb fam NIT ibrer
SCOOTER na9 G6icago, tpofeG6f ite i'm 9auie
No. 6O8 Burning StraBe Wobnung na9m,
.6raitag Mbenb bate iGr iebt gdn3lih Derz
fomnener 8atte, Der nit alerlei @e5tnbel
in ben bi1igften .Spelunfen logirte, d9re
QDre1e ermittelt, bate, Da inn Die S9iir
ni9t geDFfnet purbe, cine Sen teri 9ef6e 5erz
triimmert, mar bann gepaltFum in Die Wo9z
m1ng eingebrunasn unb bate bort mebrere
8il6er uno SpiegsI 5ertrimmert, als Die
Oetsctibes @rie6enop unb 8rOOerid auf
Der 8ilbflG@e erf6ienen unb lin feitna6men.
SFruu 8 ern erf9ien Montag Dor Gi@ter
8onnef oi, Der3idtete iebo4 auF cine geri5tz
li6e 81 rfplgr1g ibres @atten, bu Derielbe
6o6 urb beilig Oeripra3, Elm anoerer Meai6
tperben gu tpoaen.
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1895-12-25
GtabIirt iett 1851.
Henry Sehoellkopf.
Wholesale T. Retail Grooqu
232 & 234 Df=Ranoolph.Str,
amIlWen sSranfli1l. unO W}arfets StrIs.

232 & 234 Of=Rdnoolph.Str,
awIrue Grauflin= uuO WtartetsStrIs=
Gbttago Sus..
empfieblt fir bic fDmmeroen SSeiertaQe:
Neimitem 9ii,rnb erger uao Nmbc&er Mtarsipan,
Stirnber9er &0migstMdjen,
WeiGe MISUNDERSTANDING t,
Wtiien=, Uaniuas nito @&AfroneM=2ebfmdlen,
@ranni dDtp. &OnisIebfmd,e Ell, YfeferminIe,
Sestite 9Iactrte SHaitericiMe,
4(tte= SNriitgcrlem. 8M5elbro0,
SdJaMmfrniect, @eilmGd d. sIt6bter,
gpritgerieeformten, @ola= nnS Si4beridennt.
ssriSd,e u laneu, Norintbem, 8trmet,
UriId)e yttIe, Naitaniem,
@ed,tem Sismsmbomie, Metp orIeems @oIaHes
fritdleS H~etfdIcmmus. @sobmiNn1em,
4Sonttnerld)e @111i tic ituo 86uleteuIen,
&}raMnidlu GcrOelatlpnrjt,
gtgaGb. 8amsIcb er=Ss a tete.,
9eatiG)e @ierfartoffela fir gaIat,
9aSeaer epareein, s6mittbobnem,
SeItotUer Sttbcit, &ofcufrbL,
SrabGater SatSelcs, GaaHeGcnbmtter,
9sppefit=GiIo, Iiclcr Sprotten, StodHIG,
0;Mrintetc S3a,tb. yettuGrin9e,
notwithstanding, gsiSm ar6=@itringe,
Vcr1IdierfeH istD ttaEitirtct Mlal,
TrGn3. Nnqneforts uno 6 ann et.b ert=&GIe,
Tromagc De Srie, WeuidlateI=S3Gie,
VbiIaoeiph. !sat'i= nnS Asanotdfe,
Stel. NertacfaM= r1s0 bpa. GSamerzSS6Se
EcffifteG G1tnie'tD. diOciSerfGl
GGtr. S~intbnrsers n:S ssrduterf1le,
@iiiIelSOrfer GemI tno ySciarSi0,
s~seinfieS Sltnca= TITO &sobn0E,
eted)ten nH9artids DER N oiemAs aptifa.
Ssene 9ettoGmete GiISe rnO ThaMpignpmS,
Teiasten a~teffa=, 5aDa= uao Mio:seaTee,
Iriidlen Barrier g0nupftabaf,
Sftti1e Gptntt1Oer, S9OISld)ubc,
Aues an ben btaigften 3reIen.
kfeRefY ciaOeilk0 a.
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1895-12-25
uom Dodbabn9erii f
Starst Elm maesou DER Wetropoli.
tan.Ginie.
motormaun uno GOnoufteur uerIebt.

~ "SV 0NhSG0Ls
On Der gnbIfattpn Der Metropolitanz
9o9babn, an Der &reu3ung Der 0arriIon
un0 W. 48. Ctr, berlpr Ntontoq Wtoreen
fur5 Dor 4 u6r Der Mptprmann bic gon=
trolle iiber ben Mptpr unD Der Magen
ronnte in SOlge beffen bic puffer am @nbe
bes perrons I'm unb ftiir3te aus elmer 906e
bon na6e3u 20 SUB bonn @eleiie auf bas
Strabenpflater. @liidli9erpeiIe befanb
it9 auber Dem Motormann 9. $. 8rabD
unb Dem Gonbucteur Wtutdm Sing Niez
manb i'm Wagen.
Oils Der Stura %erfolgte, ftanb Sing NIT
ten i'm @agen unb fiel nit FOLDER @u9t
oorniiber, baB er ii9 cine tiefe &opFpun6e
5u5og unb in bepuBtloiem 3uitanbe mad
Dem Maggoni4 uppen gei6afft tpurbe.
8rabp fam etDas better meg, oa er in 1einsr
Gabufe iteben blieb, unb trug nur einige
un6ebeutenos 9uetI9ungen BACON.
8etoe tpur6en, na9bem i5re Wunben oerz
bunoen tparen, na9 i6ren Wo9nungen gez
bra9t.
u.ber bic birefte uufohe 1T @snuues nt6t
in @rfa6rung gu b%rinaen, Da Die 8eamten
per @eieli4dft ii@ auBerit 5ugetnDpft oerz
6dlten.
8rabp erflGrte, boB er, o1s Der Bug in
bic Station einfubr, bic 8remfen ar3Dg.
Oie1elben ber5agten iebo9 ben Oien1t un6
nit boiler Sdbrgeff1pinbigfsit pralte Der
53ug gegen bic beiben @nbpluffer. 9ieIelben
paren aus 18301igem Gi4enbols a~ngeferz
tigt unb bur9 Ell erne SrGqer geitiiBt. Srobz
Dem e~rtpieTen fe fi@ als at f6ma9, Inn ben
Mnpraa aus5ufalten, unb Der Motorpagen
~itiir5te nit einem furbtbaren @epolter DON
benz @eleiIe auF Die StraBe binab.
SIM Safe traf Der Wagen ben 2eitunesz
braht Der elettrii@en StraBen6d5n unb 5ers
rib beni e06en, 70 bab Der aelabsne Draft
auf bas 9~traBsnpfluiter FL liegen fam, unb
es als elm 4pabres Wunber an3uIshen it,
baB Bel ben @ufrdumungsarbeiten Die Toz
fort %begpnnen tpuroen, Niemano oerunz
gliidte.
Die 4oliaei ipurbe ert unaefa9r cine
Stunbe. na9bem ii9 bas ungliid e%reiqnet,
6ena9ri9tigt unb ifieB bunn, als lie Na9z
for79ungen aritelen tpollte, bel ben 8ez
amten Der 6odbo9n ouf beftiaen Wiberz
ifanb, bd nah beren Meinung Der 8orfau
bic Dolisei ni9ts anginge.
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1895-12-25
GntfebIides un9ldd.
Bel elmer DYuomit. Grplofion am Drainage
Canal fommen 5wei lrbeiter un's Sc
ben uno fteben erIeioen tootIide Der
lebuneen.

Sci elmer 9Dnamiterploiion, bic Montat
9udmittag in Der Section 500. IA bel
Drqinagez& anaGs, ungefd9r Il Meilen iiib:
pe1tlid BON GomeopiIe, MiQ Gountb, itatt:
funp, tpur0en 5pet Mrbeiter getootet I'M
fia5sI me6r p6er peniger perlebt. St
Spbten 1tnD:
SCENES Mc&ntg6t,
Saniel McNGi1ter.
Die 8erleBten iino:
George Mc5ettrid,
8arne1 S'Nourte,
2puis &edrneD,
So6n Mi9re,
Wt6ael 9arrfon,
9ugb S'8purfe.
Die f9redli9 beritiimmelten 2ei9en muir:
ben mad G6amberlain's Morgue in 2odpor.
a1nb Die 0~erlebten nu9 benz ct. SDbns:
9oIpital in Solicit gebra9t.
Ous l1ngliid trq1g fi9 in Smit5 uni
GnItmun's yGamp" s1 un6 tp1rbe angebz
Gi9 our6 bic Na6lG5iigteit BON So6n 8rotDr
berbeigefii6rt, Der bpr3eitig cine Obnamtt.
la6ung erplObiren 1teB, tpdbrenb gegen 50@r:
better in benz Ganalbett bel9Gftigt paren
8Oipen bate Nues 5u elmer @ppenguno
fertig gemubt unb bic eleftrii9e Mdi4ine
Die gu: @rploDirung bes 9Dnamits ge=
broudt pirb, ungeIeBt unb probirt. Na9=
Dem er bunn cine 3inbtupiel an Die S9nul
geleet, lteB er ben Strom IN Der 8atterie
Dur9ee6en. SIM nddy1ten Nugenbltd En-
folgte eine fur9tbare Defamation, Die a1i
Dem Sellen bert6eilten 9bnamttluDungen
erplcbirten eine mad Der anberen nit einem
Settle, apel9es bautfi9 in benz elf Meileu
entfernten Solicit gebDrt &purbe.
Nl5 Der Ruu6 it3 ber5Dgen battle, fanf
man, baB 5Gpet Der in Dem Ganalbett BE-
16Gftigten Qeute uuf Der ct eue 9et0btei
unS iteben f9redli9 berlebt paren. Ollie
paren tpo6l 100 SUB melt gei3leuOert NOR
ben urb batten entfehli9e @~erlebungen ba=
bonqetraqen. Die 2etber Der beiben 5obter
tparen bubitGbli9 in StiiGe g~erifen, 10 BAT
mon Nrme unb 8eine ouIammeniu3en
mubte.
9te SofpttaG : acknowledgement tpurbeu
1ofort gerufen unb man 56affte nun 5uz
nG9it bic @erpurbeten, na9bem 1ie notb=
biirftig perbunben, na9 Solicit. Die @ins
5igen, Die na9 &usfuge Der Nerote etne Nlsz
ii9t baden, nit benz 2eben Unemployment,
finO Mt4ael 9arriion unb So3n McSetz
trid.
Mls bic Na6ri6t bon Der Grplofion in
RomeobiGe befannt tpurbe, elite Der Ser
geant 6elfner bon Der 0rainage>poliaei NIT
mebreren Ieiner 8eamten na9 Der ungliidsz
ftdtte unb begann, na6bem bic 8erlebten
fprtge59afft tDaren, eine genuue Inter III
dung. Oas &eiultat berIelben mar, BAT
Der 8ormunn &i9arb Boomers, Der bic
@prenear6eiten leitete unb So6n 8open.
Der bas l1ngliid be~rbeigefii6rt bate, Derbafe
tst u1r6 in benz SrtsgefdngniB BON Romeoz
biQe eingeiperrt tpurben. Sort tperben lie
AUDI f~eftgabalten tperben, Bis Der Snqusft
tottgefunoen bat.
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1895-12-25
Staot Chicago.

= 11nfere gprrefponbenten unb @3sntsn
beIuden Die foIgenben @taaten:
9err pau1 TrtebeG Die @taaten Soma,
MtnneIpta unb 9atota.
9err Sreb S9erf Die Gtaaten 8isconfn
unO Mti9igan.
0err Otto 90. &p1enbale ben Staat Sui
npis.
!9err SenrD @9aal ben @taat Snbiuna
9err @6as. s. @. PfeifFer ben Steat
Suinois.
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1895-12-25
9dRet =Aqenfnr

iii otc Sentf@e 81 / d. It.
Sic 11nteraei6neten ~befbroern 8afete bis au 100 @fb.
tpege1t, 91nernnet uub Der SGtpeis gu ber re9els
rn6Btgen BON Der oeWtid d. e,0t rid pn tag
feit9eleBteu=8reiIeu.
@beuip beiDrgeu bieielben Observation-Disclosures BON lrS
nod o1en GbeiIen @urDpoS Iuo Nmerifas gu ben biltgs
Itei Staten.
KHenSel, Buchanan & LOrbacher,
20 Gr6amee pIace, 9tetp BORT.
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1895-12-25
9re1es Rduberltu&
Deribt an etnem 8emohner Ger
Dearborn 2lpenue.
Ser SOl3bGnoler @iaiam Sunes

miro an DER GIarf= uno maplefra6e pom
Stra6enrdubern iiberfalIen. = Sic wer=
fen i'm auf einen Waecn, p!iinoern ihn
aus mo werfen inn am Su6 DER Ontaz
rioitra6e III oen See. Das beoanerns=
werthe Opfer beridtet fcin dbenteuer
DER poli5ei, Ole ieood bis jebt feline Spur
BON ocH R6ubern hat.
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1895-12-25

81 II # att benz b~efaunten beaeuhen 6u1ter ouf Softer
9elner Sun9e rub 9eires 9olics ireien 2aui gu iaien
gretIe tleter gu DR.. y. Jaynes EXpectorant. bag
Ieoen 9niten nnb aae Grfdltuuqen turirt uub aat
Sungell. nm. SelssSrontbeiten ltnbert un0 belt
uuterltliBe pie @eroauung nit Jayne's Painless
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1895-12-25
Detroit gitn, Minn.

State S6nen biermit meinen beiten 9anf
ob fir Die uns 5ugefenOete prdmte Ser
Staat55eitungs=&alenbe fir 1896. 9ur4
ben 6umoriitii9en Snbalt beiiel6e1 9aben
mir NANCE frObli9e 4bemounter6altung ges
6abt.
9p9a3tenb
j. Or. S. Oftus,
2ancaffer. Wp.
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1895-12-25
0uIhriften aus inherent Geferfreis.
st o B, Sn,,
ben 20. 9e3ember 1885,

ben 20. 0esember 1895.
@enn ie ettpas in etr1em beuti9en 9uus<
balte BON N0t6sn 1T, 10 tit es 5rau grica's
&p66u9, Mtun fam es nit gutem Sc
ipiffen aQen 6rauen empfeblen, Die nit Der
omerftanii9en Slide ni3t pertraut iinb.
SD bate meme liebe glot6, e6e i9 einen
guten. Safe" Obsr gar ei1en nPie" ma9en
tGnnte.
gln 1T one @Orgs Derflogen. @s tbut
mir nun LIB, buB i4 bas Bud ni9t f4on
Dor 10 Sa3ren bate. Gs tpirb in iebem
beuti4en 9uuie Elm ipiQfommener 8erat6er
fem.
Q9tungsboG
Sruu ST. a @oppermamt
gs biene S6nen hermit CUR Na9riGt,
baB i4 Das 8u9 unb ben &alenber erbaGten
babe. Sd bin polfommen nit Dem 8u9
n%ltnIere MISUNDERSTANDING" 3ufrieOen unb
freue MIDI, eS gu BADEN. @s 1T, tpie a1gez
5eigt, elm pra9ttperf, le6rrei9 unb bietet
quite ltnter6a1tung fir Die Winteraben0e.
@s IA biaig fir ben Preis uno tb mO6te
mild niemals BON ibm t~rennen. SD min
nur fpiinf6en, baB ieber 2eier Sbrer 3eiz
tu1g biefes tpert6oplle Bud erpirbt,
Santenb griBt Sic
S6r
&nrnh Grid
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1895-12-25
VaricoceIe,
Nerv0ser SChWaCh0.

leioen, ioatcn an mid nm Gatb l6reiben. SD babe
iet btelen Sabren bic S6pd6e bel Wldnnern gum eiHs
gebenoen StuOiun gemadt; Sbatia6e lift, DaB i9 an
6emielben ltebet lit. sali6s S6aml belt mid ab, bic
@ilfe alterer 2eate oOer %eriagreTer Ierate in anipru@
smtbedte elm ourdOrtnoenOes, einfdbes @etlmittel, iOas
mid D6atg turirte nnb meme suiammen9e% lunfenes sers
fDrte 9erfafuno tDieoer in natttrfibe StGrte uno @'r0be
pcrtpannelte. --,
Mein Muni6 iH, bes iebsm iungen oOer olten Wlann
tpifen su lafer. sd nebme peri0nli6es Sntereie an
gu i6reiben, ba aGe GorreipOnDenaen als i'm 8srtrauen
geiGricben bctra@tet lnereen. SD isnee elm Ofscept
6ieies @eilmittels bDlig toftsnfrei. S6iebe es ni6t
ouf, fonoern fbreibe mir iofort augfhbrli6. Su nirt
fets ben Sag fegnen, an Incident gu es tbatft. MDreifre
unter 8eifiieung elmer Briefmarte:
BOX 89S.
Kalamazoo. Mich
Shipper of Famous Kalamazoo Celery. 2OnolStp6
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1895-08-17
FOR YOUNG PEOPLE.
CROSS LITTLE SUE.

Did you ever hear tell OF o girl named Sue.
Who pouts and frets the whole day through.
Whose face hns the look Of u thunder cloud.
Whose voice In whining. and cross. and ioudi
She's o smaii-sized GIRL with sweet little
brother,
The dearest papa. and q fond. loving mother
To love and mako glad; but moro than all
these
She loves her ili-tempcr. and It tries 70 please
Sometimes her poor mother is quite in de-
spair.
And the father and brother her feelings both
share.
And the homo wears o gloom: whom instead
the whole place
Should be frightened by Susie's bright laugh
ter and face.
Now. children, dear children. don't look cross
and pout.
Keep that side within and the bright side
without,
Be cheerful and merry; on your face wear =
smile.
And the whole world will iovo you, as 1t does
evory sweet child
Nellie Burns. In Houseleeper.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1895-08-17
HUMOROUS.

An Ellinwood (Kas.) man offered
the editor of the Advocate quarter to
'roast" his wife for running away with
hack driver. Cincinnati COMMERCIAL
Gazette.
Not Soothing. -lIe-"Is this the
first time you've ever been in love, dar-
ling?" She (thoughtlessly)- but
it's so nice that hope it won't be the
last!'-Tit-Bits.
lis there much dissipation here?''
asked New Yorker of n Maine native.
mary Il Bit was the reply. "Why,
the sun can't even dissipatc the fog"
Texas Siftings.
Tho Husband Seeing his wife Off
you must promise not to ask for
money every time you write" The
Wife-"But that would necessitate my
writing so much oftener. Life.
II notice you never give credit in
your columns said the captious read
err. "No," said the editor of the Punk
Vile Bngle, but you jist ought to see
my subscription st."-Indianapolis
Journal.
-Maud-"Were you overcome by the
heat, Mabel?" .Mabel-'No, dear; /
was Frustrated because l couldn't
think of new combination in soda
flavor; it surely couldn't have been the
seven glasses l had taken."-N. Y.
World
An absent-minded young preacher
in New England, wishing to address
the young ladies of his congregation
after the morning services, remarked
from the pulpit that he would be very
glad If the female brethren of the con-
gregation would remain after they had
gone home. -liarpers Round Table.
Don't you" said the summer
boarder, 'some times envy the city peo-
pie who come here with nothing to dc
but recreate?" mo" replied Farmer
Corntossel, ~ dunno's l do. swing
the scythe till l get right tired an
imagine it lorn tennis, an set out on
the front porch ter get bit by the mers.
cutters of evenin's an manage ter have
Union Signal
One of the best stories told by Dean
Hole in his Memories" is of an old
fashioned cathedral verger, ''lord OF
the aisles," who, one noon, found a
pious visitor on his knees in the sacred
edifice. The verger fastened up to
him and said, in tone of indignant
excitement: "The services in this ca
thedral are at ten in the morning and
at four in the afternoon, and we don't
have no fancy prayers"
Sir Benjamin Guinness, of XXX
stout fame, was in Dublin and had
shown an American tourist st. Patrick's
cathedral restored by Guinness the
schools founded by Guinness" and
the brewery founded by Guinness"
well" said Sir H., what do You think
Of that?" II guess" quoth the Yankee,
~ guess l never saw more remark.
able combination OF salvation, educa-
ton and intoxication." Guinness didn't
speak. Household Words.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1895-08-17

round an Enright was in the chair,
an we're busy settin' up n big front
about hearin' the case, when Tucson
Jennie with a scream as scares up sur
roundup things to sech limit that
five ponies hops out of the corral an
flies, comes chargin' into the Red
Light, an the next instant she drifts
around TUFTS neck like SO much snow.
"'What for game do you call this.
anyhow says Moore, who's a heap
scandalized. is this yere maiden play
IN this campo
"'She's plum locoed with grief says
Dan Boggs, who folders her in, AN
she's done got EN- mixed in her mind.
She thinks Dave is Wallace
THAT'S it, says Cherokee. Her
minds stampeded with the shock. Me
an Moore takes her over to Jim's
corpse, an that's shore to revive her.
An with that Cherokee and Moore goes
up to lead her away.
"'Save him, Mr.. Enright, save himv
abe pleaded, still clingin' to TUFTS
neck like the loop of lariat. Don't
let EN- hang him! Save him, for my
sakev
Hold on, Jack says Enright, who
is loolrin mighty thoughtful. Jest
everybody stand their hands yere till
counts the pot an notes who's shy. II
looks like we're cinchin' the hull onto
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1895-08-17

the wrong bronco. Let me ask this
young female question. Young
woman, he says to Tucson Jennie, be
you're hangin' TOP
ITS Dawes, amt it,? she says,
lookin' all fearful in his face to make
shore.
"Enright an the rest of us don't say
nothin', but jest looks at each other.
Tut fiushes up an looks pleased both
at once, but jest the same he puts his
arms around her like the dead game
man he is.
'Whatn you have, gents" Enright
says at last, quite thoughtful. The
drinks is on me, barkeep.'
Excuse me- says Doc Poets, but
as the author of this yere plot, takes
it the p'isen is on me. BarlSeep, set
out all your bottles
"'Gents, says Jack Moore, I'm as
peaceful man as ever jingled n spur
or pulled gun in Wolfville, but as
re ELECTS on the active part / takes in
this yere play, won't be responsible
| for results if any man comes between
me an payin' for these drinks. Bar
keep, I'm dom this myself
"'Well, it's hard encomeratin' just
| how many drinks we do have. Jim
Wallace throws away the wagon cover
an comes over from the New York
store an stands in with us. 1t gets to
| be a orgy.
"'Of course it's all right says En-
right; the camp wins with Tut in
stead of Wallace, that's all. 1t illus
| trates one of them beautiful character
istics of the gentler sex. too. Yere's
Wallace, to say nothin' of twenty
others, as besieges an beleagues this
yere female for six weeks an she scorns
'em. Yere's Tutt, who amt sayin' a
| word, don't bat an eye. nor wag n
year, an she grabs him. 1t is sech
uncertainties, gents, as makes the love
of a woman valuab le.'
"'You should have asked me- says
Faro Nell, who comes IN right then an
rounds up right close to Cherokee.
why, could tell you two weeks ago
Jennie's in love with Tut Anybody
could see it. Why, she's been feedin'
of him twice as good grub as she does
any body else ''-Washington Post.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1895-08-17

donleys of all sorts to be found in
Egypt. The little kittenish, fluffy
beast of few weeks old takes the
cake for charm and good spirits, es-
pecially If he be white one, with black
points. Perhaps the most curious dom
key was one that would always sing
when requested. He was dubbed the
Musical Moke." But the adjective
was questionable, and he sang the same
tune on all occasions, sometimes accom-
panied by the banjo, sometimes having
to read from notes which he would
hardly recognize, and certainly the joke
contained in them could never have en-
tarcd his asinine head.
But he did his best, and none of us
can do more. lie may not have en-
joyed it, but 1 doubt il donlseys can
ever be said to enjoy anything; they
take life from philosophical point OF
view, bearing the iicks and half-pcnce
with the same placid equanimity and
patience.-London Daily Graphic.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1895-08-17
MY REWARD.

I met Ger atthe sea shore; twas lovely July
night;
Tho band was playing gayiy, and the moon was
shining bright
met her In the ballroom, and / danced the
two-step so
She said: You dance the very best of ali the
men know"
walked upon the saffron. wave.beat sands
with that fair maid,
And told her that I loved Der, that my love
would never fade.
And She she smiled SO sweetly that knew
that sho was mine.
1t needed not her yves" to prove my blessing
so benign
bought ring-a beauty-'twas brilliant
1t dazzlcd all behodiers; twas, indeed, beyond
compare
1t cost two hundred dollars, and it came from
Bnany,
And when she put it on she seemed o'ercome
with ecstasy.
We drove together, walked together, braved
the sea and storm;
We strolled at eve when 1t was COOL at noon
when II was warm.
bought her books and roses. and / took her to
the dance,
And told her that my best reward was just one
smiling glance
And all went we'll until one night another fell
low came,
never knew, and do not wish to know. that
fellow name.
But when she introduced him, when we met
that awful day,
Said she to me: II want you, George, to know
my tiance
And in the fall, when VIC arc we'd, hope that
YOU will be
Ono OF the ushers; you have been so very good
to me.
You've helped me while away the long, dull
hours pt the shore.
While poor old Jack was toilng in the city at
the store!'
-Harpers Bazaar.