The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-11-10

out aeuantly against its unseen assaiiant-
-Arlopp- " tEts me t-leNlus Story i1
go 49, .i-I'E one W 7llrilltH sl-a - -
Airilts with tl1e Indians lt u sa-d tnat ms
1nen. being taken unawares by the red
skins, mad no time o. remove their moln-
tam hoWltzer from -t- mules back so
tnty accepted the alternative and blaze
away, sending mule ana gun tumbline 1-
4ether down hill upon the Indians, Wl2
cook fright and fled tle scene one 81
t4ein captured a Few DAYS iater was ass
60 why ne ran away. lie replied, Me oi
lnluni me not afraid o. little guns OF DIS
guns; bat wncn white man nres Whole
mules At InJuns, nc don't know what 70
20. one may question how the gun ana
the mule could go in the same direction
but there's the story.
But an the absurd Ingenuity in the world
Is moi exercised on inventions military.
Let me describe a few OF the ridiculous de-
vices which from time 10 time have come
While mentioning the pepper bullet,
was reminded OF a cayenne burglar alarm
"a ny Bostonian. 1T was a cQnLfiFahct
10 be placed over door or window, IN
such a position that anyone seeking 10 en-
ter unlaWfully would bring down upon
himself shower of cayenne pepper. Inc
result can easily he magined- j don Z see
why the device would not be enectlYe,
hut believe II somehow did not ma
ready market.
/ have in mind also a machine called
the Deadly Beetle Buster, TO be used in
tho hOusekecDer's war against all sorts OF
obnoxious insects. As I recall it, II was
constructed on thoroughly scientific prin-
ciples. II worked with an air pump. l pom
eAhaustng the ar IN the receiver q cur
rent Of air would be produced. drawing an
the Vermln out of their hiding places ana
sucking them all into hopper. where they
were 20 be visited according TO their lniqu-
II Is quite probable that the inventor
of the Deadly Beetle Buster, haG heard
James Russell Loweifs story aooue
uelghbOr or his. The gentleman IN CUES
ton purchased a machine, doubtless Of
somewhat similar CONSTRUCTION, 10 increase
the draught Of his chimney One morn
ing, according to Mr. Lowell, he pu; the
cCntrivance on the fiue of the break fast
room, and, stationing himself outside, lac
watched results through q crack IN me
door. The first object ne beheld was NE
reVercd mOther-lm-laW mounting tie Tue
ike witches on brOOm-stlck. AMI then
he saw the family cat drawn backW2rd
across the carpet, vaanly chng.ng with
her four sets of claws, and disputng every
inch of the grown. This was enough Tor
the watcher, he simply turned and ucd.
How he eNplained matters To the ladies'
afterward the verac.ous story teller DOES
not say.
The war of love has also called out a
rlnlber Of inventions. One of Chicago or
leiu. IS a courtship clock, described by tnc
inventor as patent cOmpenso- retardlnS-
accelorating clock, for use in families
whore they keep unmarried daughterS IN
stock. If a young man is of an eligible
sort the retarding attachment is turned
on, and the clock compounds with old
AliNc at elAnty minutes 10 llc uoul
Thus at a. m. 1t only indicates II :05 D.
m, and the young woman is justified in
staying the young man when he reaches
for his hat with ,'Oh, don't go yet char
If; however, the visitor should be OF
the undesirable order. the indicator is
pushed up, and by half past nine, the
clocks hands mark two in the morning
and the prudent damsel has fair excuse
for giving him his dismissal.
Then there is the lovers alarm clock,
doors, presenting to view a little man,
clad In dressing gown and slippers, ana
holdingin his hand card inscribed Good
night, hint to the Obvious pair that
Il is time to cease billing and cooling for
that occasion.
Some years ago a Mr.. Masse Of Brook
lyn, who was somewhat timid driver,
purchased patent electrical cOntriVance
for stopping runaway horses. 1t consisted
of an electromagnetic apparatus to he
placed under the drivers seat. Connect
ed herewith was a wire which was car
ried through the rein TO the bit, and an
other wire which was attached to the crup-
per.--By- mpVing-a small lever, a current
of electricity would be sent through the
horses spine, and the shock. 1t was
claimed, would at once bring the animal
prepared with his runaway preventer,
Mr.. Massee started out one morning for
a drive. He was jogging along very pleas
antly, when up dashed a fast roadster,
drop went his horses ears, and soon he
was straining every muscle to keep the
lead Now was the time to try the ma
chine, he turned on the current. For an
instant the astonished horse stood stock
still, and then his driver thought earth
and sky were about to meet. The animal
jumped four or five feet in the air, came
down, and dashed along the road as if
bent on breaking every precious record
to everlasting smithereens.
Meantime the terrified Masse held on
to the handle, administering shock after
shock, and yelling, Stop him! Stop him.