Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1895-05-02
eprinkles Of Spice.

Our Own Day-A Budget OF Fun
eprinkles Of Spice.
Mrs. Gadzley-"Do you suffer much
from toothache." Mrs. Blazzer-"No-
that is, not unless my husband has it. y
-Roxbury Gazette.
$50 the insolent fellow refused to pay
his rent" "IIe did not say so in words
but he intimated It," How soY' HE
kicked me downstairs" lie Figaro.
Bryce-"Algernon Fitz Sappy is one
OF those fellows who has more money
than brains, isn't he!" Knowso-"Yes
and he is poor, too."-Life's Calendar.
Mrs. Nuwed-"Our landlord thinks Of
nothing but the rent" Nuwed-"You
wrong him, my dear I'm sure he
never thinks of the rent in the roof
Judge.
"Mrs. Trout. why do you look 50
down in the gills?" Trout, my dear
l can't help worrying when l remem.
Der that it's most fly time asain."-New
York Recorder.
AJAouOc~ AO Jou tuc average
man is as stupid before he marries az
he is afterwardsy' Cynicus-"Certain.
ly, or he wouldn't get married" -
Philadelphia Record.
With Joy greets you, gentle spring;
You bids us smile agin-
Nc wood ter saw, no snow ter sweep,
No coal ter carry in.
Washington Star.
"Chollie is a changed man. He sent
$40 to the mission in China last week.
He must be changed indeed, or he
could never make $40 80 as far as thatv
-Harper's Bazaar.
Its her disposition to make light Of
serious things" he SAID mournfully.
eyes," replied Cholly Luvlorn. "She
even burns the poetry l write about
her."-Washington Star.
Lipper-I wonder why it is that Miss
Primper always takes such good care
Of her complexion?' Clippers She's
SO Conscientious; it isn't her own, you
know. "-Cincinnati Tribune.
"Our first impressions most readily
slip our memories" said the teacher.
''Oh, know WHY shouted Johnny.
swell, why? Our first impressions
are slippers. ''-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"And this-this is elocution! sighed
the poet, as the recitationist finished
his pet poem. Eyes, what did you think
1t was" Execution returned the
poet, with moan.-Harper's Bazaar.
Cholly Uppers-"Twed. can you spare
me small bills for ten:" Freddie
Heeled-"Suah, deah boy" Cholly-
Thanks, WEAKLY, Ill hand you the ten
to morrow."-St. Louis Globe Demo
Graf.
get your cook up so earlyy' Mrs. Dash
well, hunted up young and good
looking milkman and hired him to come
at 5 o'clock. "-Louisyille Courier Jour
nal.
what is the matter with that man"
asked the inquisitive small girl in the
theater. '"The man sitting in the front
rowy" "Yes'm. The one whose hair
is too small for him" Washington
Star.
Author-"What's the matter with the
dialect in that story: Isn't it plain
enough?" Magazine editor - Yes;
that's the trouble. Anybody can read
it without glossary "-Somerville
Journal.
Impatient tourists ito small boy fish
ivr -, el.> 1olyoi t<,t<3 NC bo hon
always left here at 4. and we have
waited now till past g." Boy-"Oh, 1t
doesn't begin to run till May.'-Flie-
gende Batter.
Experience is the best teacher" re-
marked Flooding Pete. YES" re-
piled Meandering Mike: but my per-
sonal observation is that it's mighty
poor way ter study law" Washington
Star.
Wife Ito unhappy husband)-"I
wouldn't worry, John; 1t doesn't do
any good to borrow trouble" Husband
borrow trouble? Great Caesar. my
dear, amt borrowing trouble: l have
II to lend."-Colorado Sun.
Old Eache-"That's handsome pair
OF slippers you're wearing. Harry"
Harry-"They ought to be; I'm sure
they cost enough. My wife made them.
and then coaxed out of me the price Of
i sealskin jacket" It'd
Stern Parent-"You tell me that you
love my daughter and wish to marry
her. But how do you expect to live on
eight hundred n year," Loving Swain
-"Oh, come, now. your income must
be more than that!'-Boston Tran
script.
Clara-"How under the sun did Edith
happen to marry Mr.. Awkward:'
Dora-"He was the bane of her life at
every ball she attended. and presume
she married him to keep him from
wanting to dance with her.'-New York
Weekly.
Judge Ito prisoner)-"Have you any
thing more to say" Prisoner-"No,
my lord; only would ask you to be
quick. please, as it is near the dinner
hour, and IL l am to 60 to prison !
should like to get there in time for the
soup."-Francais Illustre.
CHI sSEN,,nw~, n~n &~ >rr,~ 1900