Pawtucket tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 1890-189?, 1895-03-21

hood up to bo failure In all ways.
WAS not 80 handsome as could have beer
|expectcd In the son of my beautiful moth
br and tho young father who died before
WAS born, and who was also beautiful,
fwas told. I was not brilliant, though
both sides OF the house showed men ant
women OF excellent ability, and, worst o.
kii. was not good, Though this puzzlet
|mc not a little as child, for my linton
|tions were Of a magnificent order and th'
resultant behavior not nearly SO repre-
lhensible as that OF many boys knew lesi
Ipunishod.
But In some way the things meant tt
|do failed of complishm0nt or were found
Iwhcn accomplished to have most unhappy
consequences, and tho thingsI did under
|prossuro Of discipline were seldom salts
Factory.
Years of reproof and often overheard
Ioomplaint as to my trying disposition
finally convinced mo OF my unworthiness,
land In timo I grew to look at my life as
q failure, merely an opportunity for az
much self indulgence as could be procured
without too great expense.
Being Of a lazy and luxurious disposi-
!tion, early fell into the habit OF deriving
IAN inexhaustible fund of pleasure from
|mero Imagination of what things might
he, to console myself for my Intellectual
lstruggle to make them such. AS little
lboy was sent to bed with military pre-
lcision by my inncxible mother, usually
with sense Of failure and Ill doing IN
Ithc day behind me, and used to lie muto
land Gtill In my llttlo chamber and make
up to myself In royal bursts OF imaeina-
ition for tho disappointments OF tho real
life How often, so laid and thought to
Ibe sound asleep, have In spirit not only
established my pre-emincnt virtues by a
series of noble acts, SO easy TO imagine, SO
difficult to perform In the gray irksome'
mess of everyday life, but besides this have
II glutted my infant soul with the sweet
vengeance OF magnanimity, arranging
donations and privileges to
Ibc conferred by mo, me the lamentable
land unworthy son, upon my grateful fam
lily and friends Ono sweetest JOY OF those
)fair dreams was that when I should DO
man my Cousin Mary, who dislikcd mo
flor the disagreeable boy 1 was, should
love and marry me.
1t was q sore problem with mo In those
idays to decide whether should indeed re-
)ceive the open gratitude Of my boneficia-
,ries, reveling gloriously therein, or wheth-
FER, proudest hoight Of power concealed, I
should bestow oil benolts In secret, and
lyet remain, condemned ard criticised by
lthe unwilling recipients Of my bounty.
lBut my Cousin Mary In these dreams al
ways loved mo for myself, and then. after
ward, ah, the jewels l showercd upon her!
This habit of informally satisfying my
|self, of paying back in triumphant mag
for all "tbo stings and arrows OF
Outrageous fortune" continued with me
las grew and remained my best consola-
Ition after had become an unaspiring TO-
Iporter on great newspaper. And still In
smy solitary chamber down town, when
Twas not SO tired as to sleep perforco in
what hours remained to me, would con-
solo myself for all the notifications of tho
lday and Of all other days In my unhappy
memory by proud, unhamperod visions of
twhat would do under given conditions
lof wealth and power.
| Splendid conditions these, SO easily i'm
Iagincd, fitting so smoothly to my shoul-
tders rs Iplanned and adapted them, but,
lab, so laughably impossible Of attainment
And then, all at once, by chance no
lstranger, to be surc, than many one
twas in the daily habit cf recording, there
ifell into my hands, not talent and beauty
land power indeed, as had demanded in
lmy boyish dreams, but wealth practically
Sunbounded, such wealth as could never
Iof myself have earned or won or found, or
lin any least or faintest way deserved.
| To be sure, / had been laying myself out
lon the old fellow, as should never have
IA - <lo bod Gnoxry, him, for m mil.
Ilionaire, but that was not from benevo-
Hence, but purely selfish appreciation OF
This boundlcss fund of travel and expert
lence. His society was worth money to me
besides the pleasure Of It, and therefore
Ibid court him assiduously, with many
Ian entertainment and excursion, which
Iagain were no credit to my generosity, for
had not the interminable tickets and
passes and tho duty Of going to all these
lweary things, duty much lightened by
Ithe society Of the lounging, invalid old
(gentleman, whom supposed no richer
Than myself.
I told him my story, such as It was,
land am fain to think that some subtle
lsympathy, some consciousness of similar
lexperience in his own boyhood, made him
take more of an interest than then sus-
lpected in this poor series Of failures I
called my life.
Then no died very suddenly and serene
ny, leaving me some unbelievable millions,
and as no one but his solicitor knew that
Ihe had any money so no ono knew that
had any, and behold mo forthwith In ex-
hctly the position Of my childish hearts
besirel
What joyl What wild, free rapture Of
lplans with occasional bursts of fancy
(which even Idismissed as quite untenable.
For instance, had no longer any faintest
hope OF marrying my Cousin Mary. She
WAS quite taken up with another, cousin,
FIRED by name, and would have married
him long since no doubt had he been able
TO support family. But he was proud
and would not marry until he could offer
something to his wife. I knew that, for
lhe had told mo SO.
However, It was now my delicious fate
Ito be able to arrange matters for these
kwo SO that they should be able to marry,
neither knowing how 1t had como about
NOR In tho least corner Of their hearts sus
pecting me. Then with what swelling