Omaha daily bee., 1895-11-11

New York Truth: The maiden sobbed
wildly as she bowed her head over the fam
lily bible. my days are numbered" she
cried When her passion had spent itself
she looked at the page once more. There
1t is, In indelible ink; 1t is recorded that |
was born in 1859" Once more her sorrow
overcame her.
Philadelphia Inquirer: you are a liarw
The words rang out clear in the air. A
hush of dread fell upon the spectators.
Curse you!" Repeat those words and
"BahH' cried the first speaker. "I defy
you-do your worstY The two men sprang
to table and seized
Pen and ink. They were pugilists.
Texas siftings: Mrs. Anglo-saxon (to but
ler-Matthew, his grace the duke of
Tweedledom dimes and sleeps here tonight.
l want everything in the most correct man
ner. Matthsw-Ho, yes, hindeed mum.
Serve tea in the drawing room at 5. Dinner
at $50 o'clock. Have no napkins at break
fast tomorrow and serve cold game pates
from the sdeboard." "Ho, yes, hindeed,
mum" And, Matthew see that the weather
is foggy. l want his grace to feel entirely
at home" "Ho, yes, hindeed mum"
Chicago Post: These big sleeves" he
began.
"Well?" she said inquiringly.
She knew that he had primed himself with
some sharp remark, but she had learned that
it eased his mind to make them and did not
hurt her. So she led him on
What about them?" she asked, as he hest
tated.
"These big sleeves" he said when he had
finally arranged the witticism to his salts
faction, always make me think of the way
people do up packages that won't bear in
spection."
Westminster Gazette: The window display
made by Glasgow newspaper in connection
with Saturdays race included a dial to in
dicate American time.
THAT clocks clear wrong" said man
as he pushed his way into the thick of the
enormous crowd that had assembled. Its
gweed five hours ahint."
"Hoot, MINI! answered a wag; 'if they
hadna pitten back the time the race wild
hae been encroachin' on the Sabbath day"
"Losh, freen, l never thocht O. that Nae
bady can beat tnae Yankees for cute lodges.
Cincinnati Enquirer: The cyclone, with a
howl Of fendish glee struck the eastbound
California fruit train full amidships, as It
were.
In an instant millions of small, blush,
wrnkled objects were hurtling through the
circulatory atmosphere. The cyclone took
one look at himself and then
Great heavens!" he shrieked, Il am full
of prunes!"
With that he lay down and died.
San Francisco iost: A tired looking little
woman, with her thin cape spread out TO
protect her burden from the rain splashed
through the mud on Mission street to a car
last night. The platform was crowded with
men who could not find seat, but they made
way for her and helped her into the packed
car. She stood unsteadly in the aisle try
f,rr -. I.i.,
along.
Keep still, dear!" she sighed in a weak,
tired voice when a slight disturbance under
the cape was observable.
why don't some Of you fellows give that
woman with a baby a seat?" growled a fat
man who was hanging to strap.
Two or three men sprang up and each in
sisted that she take his seat She sank into
one of the vacant places, thanked the man
who had made way for her, and a frowsy-
headed terrier sprang from und ar her cape
and sat in her lap while he barkei at the fat
man.
Chicago Tribune: What is the present
condition of the city's finances, Mr. Mayor %
inquired the alderman from the Umpty-
second ward.
"The city is heavily in debt" replied the
mayor, 'and at the present rate of ex-
penditure 1t is running behind several hun
dred thousand dollars year."
In the midst of dense silence the alder
man from the 'Steenth ward rose up.
MIR. Mayor" he said, land fellow alder
men, there is only one thing for us to do.
AS members of the city council, charged with
the duty of looking after the interests of this
great city, solemn responsibility rests upon
us. We cannot evade it. We should be less
than men If we sought now to shirk tn,
issue forced upon us In this crisis of the
cltys fortunes. | propose, fellow members
OF the council" he continued, in voice that
trembled with excess of earnestness, that
we come as individuals to the relief of the
city! l suggest that we contribute from our
private purses 10 per cent Of the profits of
the aldermanic business this year"
The council rose as one man. Deafsning
cheers drowned the speakers voice and the
entire body of siXty-eight aldermen csme
forward to the city clerks desk each man
opening his purse an he came
"At this point" explains the narrator, 81
awoke. 1t was only dream"
Mrs Jane Hudson of Maple Rapids, Mich.
has been very close to poverty for several
years past, while she waited in vain for a
pension. While she was stricken with an i'll
ness largely caused through want, she re-
csived letter from the pension department
inclosing a check for 81 900 back pension
money. Two hours later she passed away.
The New York State Woman Suffrage as.
ISOLATION will hold its twenty-seventh annual
convention in Newburg November SIP
Among the speakers will be Mrs Mary Say-
mour Howell, Mrs. Lille Devereux Blake,
Susan b. Anthony, Carrie Chapman Gait.
Margaret Livingston Chanler Rev. Anna
Shaw and Harr!ette A. Keysor.
Mrs Wesley Jones OF Boston, while camp
ing In the Adirondacks, was walking in the
woods when buck sprang in the path. In
stead Of being frightened she leveled her
Winchester and he dropped in his tracks.
Paper of Tacks.
When in doubt, tell the truth.
Clerk and shrk may rhyme but they
don't sound well together.
The young man who knows only a part
OF it learns more than he who knows it ALL