Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-02-18
JUST FOR FUN.

| Teacher-JOhn returned Gn0 oooA.
in what case is book? Dull Boy after
hought)-Bookcase.
don't see why you don't let me eat
all my candy, whined Wally on Chrlst-
masmorning. 1t didn't hurt my stock
in to be full of it and Pm bigger than 1t.
Teacher explaining that the earth
is round) -Tommy, what country on
the globe is China underneath? Tom
my (who reads the newspapers
Japan.
The judge hope shall not see you
here again. Prisoner (who is arrest
ed weekly Not see me? Why, yer
amt going to resign yer position are
yer?
What became of the man who had
81 medals for saving people from
drowning? Wharfminder = He fell in
one day when he had en- all on and
the weight Of EN- sunk him.
What was the principal object Of
interest in America when you were
there? The eminent British novelist
looked at his questioner with scorn,
and replied: I was, of course.
lam not suah whethar she loves me
or not, said Willie Wibbles. Have
you had any encouragement? Yes, in
deed, am informed that she wefers
to me as it, just as she does to her pet
dog.
Mrs. Benedict = Now what would
you do, Mr.. De Batch, if you had
baby that cried for the moon? De
Batch (grimly) I'd do the next best
thing for him, ma'am; I'd make him
see stars.
Father Ito small son with black
eye)-What's the matter, Dick? Small
son-Johnny Higgins hit me this af-
ternoon. Father-Well. he's a boy Of
your size. hope you hit him back?
Small son-Oh, l hit him yesterday.
Cholly- trust, Miss Sharpe, that
you don't think that when [ met that
dog ran away because that aw- be-
cause 1 was afraid. Miss Sharpe gen-
erously-Oh, no indeed. If any one
was scared, it should have been the
dog.
Book on farming.-Book AGENT
should like you to take this book, it
tells you how to raise everything.
Farmer Howler-Waal, I'll take it,
cause l wan ter raise nine dollars
pretty durn quick.
Dorothy (Confdentially)-"I was
naughty yesterday and mamma
spanked me. Did you ever get spank
ed?" Elizabeth-'Yes;. once, l did,"
Dorothy = "What for?" Elizabeth
60 Zoos, gran'ma was away"
She ca woman's rights woman)-Do
you believe that woman should have
the right of being the equal Of MANI"
if she wants to let herself
down SO far don't see any reason why
she should be prevented"
1--WE don't play the piano at our
house on Sunday said the first little
girl, ''and you folks do. We amt
heatherns." stNeither are we," said
the second little girl, ''but We don't
believe in using up all our religion on
Sundays, SOS there won't be none left
through the week, like some folks do"
Parent-''Who is the LATEST boy in
your class, Johnny?" Johnny-"I
dunno.n 81 should think you would
know. When all the others are in
dustriously writing or studying their
lessons who is he who sits idle in his
seat and watches the rest instead of
working himself?'' ''The teacher"
He was beautiful little dog, said
the caller, doing her best to offer sym
pathy. 1t must be real bereavement
to have to lose him. Can't-can't
you take his remains to the taxid-
ermist's? 81 Think" said Mrs. Go
frequent, with fresh burst of tears,
twelve already paid the taxes on him."
Karl's Clover Root,the great Blood purifier
gives freshness and clearness to the COmp1eX4