The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-31
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Hartford Times.

We wish we could feel as contented
as q girl in shirt waist looks. -Atch.
ison Globe.
Teddie-"Whata are woman's rights,
pa?" Participating they want,
my boy; always remember that p
Boston Courier.
''You seem to be cuitivating old
Kajones. Whsr do you sec about him
to admire?" ellis laughter Laura.
Chicago Tribune.
Clubman-" "Colonel, ! understand
you are &C quainted with warfare in all
its formsl" Colonel-"No, no not
in all forms. Pm bachelor. Spare
Moments.
ga man died in Turkish bath in
New York yesterday, said the Mere
Newsgetter. "Another sweatshop out
rage" commented the Sociologist. -
Buffalo Express.
A Pioneer Student Ito Professor)-
''Has it ever been discovered who was
tho man in the iron mask?" Pro-
fessor Oldsport-"H -"He was the origina.
umpire. Harlem Life.
That's what call getting out of
bad scrape," groaned the man in the
first straw hat as he tottered from the
barber shop, rubbing his bleeding
jaws. .-Rockland Tribune.
"The curious things about my busi-
ness" said the mosquito, alighting
softly upon the nose of the sleeping
victim, sis that it's more fun to go to
work than it is to stay to hum. Chi
cago Tribune.
Prince Arsene karageorgevitch and
NJ. Dollfus fought duel at Paris with
swords, and NJ. Dollfus was wounded,
but the Princes name came out of the
fight without any abbroviation. Pitts
burgh Chronicle-Telegraph.
"Are you ball crank, Miss Beekin-
strete?" 81 was afflicted with a mild
attack of spheromania last summer,
answered the Boston maiden, "but
this year | have taken but little in
terest. indianapolis Journal.
"I'm very much afraid" his mother
said, "that this pie needs more short
ening." "Mam na," said the boy in
an audible undertone, "that isn't what
my piece needs" Isn't it?" "No'm.
My piece needs lengthening. Wash
ington Star.
Mrs. White And do you mean to
say that you and your husband always
agree about everything?" Llrs. Black
always; except, of course, now and
ylaY haf Of
headed, or something Of that sort. -
Boston Transcript
'Keep out of debt, young man."
sand the philosopher. People will
think better of you for it, per
haps, was the thoughtful reply; "and
yet I've noticed the more / owe peo-
pie the gladder they always seem to
see me. Washington Star.
"Only think, exclaimed Henderson,
''of the many uses to which paper is
now put !" 81 know" replied Bass.
81 was at the theatre the other night,
and was told it was all paper. And it
was Il fine, substantial-lookiug struc-
ture, too. Boston Transcript.
Ananias- Blood and death, but
there are some insults too great to be
borne! !" Saphira- "Well, what now ?"
Ananias--"I don't mind being calle
Il pretty big liar I'm used to that
But fellow just accused me of being
the author of the Cuban war news -
Buffalo Express.
Judge-"Do You mean 10 say, sir,
that you prosecute this man for theft,
when you have no better evidence OF
his guilt than that he had so on his
person." Attorney -, eyes, sir"
Judge-'How dare you ask a conYic-
tion on such eyidence?" Attorney
The man is a poet, your Honor, ~
Chicago Tribune.
Doctor--'I would advise you, dear
madam, to take frequent baths, ilenty
OF fresh air, and dress in cool gowns.
Husband IAN hour later 90" What cd
the doctor say?' Wife--.''He said
ought to so TO watering place, and
afterwards to the mountains, and 10
get some new light gowns at once. "
Fliegende Blaetter.