The Atlanta constitution. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1885-19??, 1895-12-30
ARP TALKS PEACE.
He Doesn't Believe There Will Be Any
War With England.
HIS EXPOSITION EXPERIENCE
Feels Be1ligerent Toward a squealer
who Unloaded Some Exposition
Handkerchiefs on Him.

They told me OF various things tney
would like TO have for Christmas presents
for friends and posterity. They wanted
seventeen l think. OF course | listened IN
a subdued manner. but an elephant nau
trod on my pocketbook ana IL was 50 lldI
| couldent see through this business my
wife said that handkerchieis were sOou
thing-nice handkerchiefs were always ia
order. She had some in her truhk 70 senu
10 the BOYS There are various things IA
that trunk 1t is a sort of subtroasury, a
cache. but il won't hold enough things LOT
the grandchildren. Dolls and baby Cur
riayes and jumping jacks ana picture po'i-'
had TO be bought and some h'ce hheh ha'iu
kerchiefs. Wen. as | was turning the NOT
cross corner / heard a squealer s1ueanhs
hapdkerchiefs. There was a stack OF lHoh
on n box and a crowd around ana ne was
nassin, handkerchiefs along for exanina-
ton. "Genuine linen, pure irish lncn' ai'
Guaranteed, only cents apiece. i-N4lii'iio
them gentlemen. These are eNpo@luoh ~
hibit goods that we are obliged 10 SCH o"e'
for We are going home. Home s"ee,
home" etc. Never heard man squea'
more sweetly. / was shy at first but look
hold of the handkerchief 1t was 5000
size and nicely bordered and looked IKE
linen and felt like linen, ana l heard 4
man say This is linen, shore SO thouSh1
! had found the very thing my wife wanted
and | told him ] would take ten. IhailA
You, sir" he said politely, ana ne looN
them off the folded pile and wrapped tAe"i
up and ] put them i'm my htue grip anu
handed him dollar-a silver dollar. he
dide,t hand back the change, but leaned
IN close to me and whispered, You are q
family man, reckon YES Sald l.
well. | will give you twenty more Tor
the other half dollar" said he. SO took
them and put them all in my satchel. Good
gracious! Thirty linen handkerchieis Tor
a dollar Enough to keep all the grand
childrcn's noses clean and leave some ior
me I was proud.
when nv wife opened the package she
was Mortified. why they are all cotton
and the veriest thinnest slaziest cotton AZ
that You have been cheated again as
usual" That rascally squealer had handed
round a nice linen handkerchief rs a sample
and wrapped up poor thin cotton ones 50
quick We dident suspect anything wrong.
But they Will do for the noses,
reckon. In fact, l rather Ike them
for my grin, and ] carry two all the time
one for each side Aud I bought beaud-
ful little doll carriage with a parasol over
it for 20 cents ana a lunch basket and a
mice that runs around On the floor ana a
spool case and some other little tricks ana
came home happy. for Christmas is sea-
son to make others happy. on earth peace,
good viii to men. and especially 10 The
children Yes that's it, on earth peace!
We are not going 10 hove any war with
England. But III be dosoud ID Johnny Bun
shall step over here and take land that
don't belong 90 Eim-laEd and water for
there is the mouth of the Orinoco that
ought TO be open and free TO our commerce.
War is a horrible, devilish business and
it ought rot TO be considered seriously. No,
sir, We are not going o have any war.
but III be dad blasted u Johnny Bun shall
have aay tni2~ oyer ac1. t't0t Cons rlsht-
fully belong to him-tac greedy old rascal
The fact IS, / don't believe those English
know where Ncnczucl:. is or who Mr.. Mon-
roe was. but they have got a big map and
stake out the earth and claim TO thc
stakes. Fifty years ago they put down
their stakes on an island in the Caribbean
sea ana the island sank in an earthquake
and went down and England is SIN guard
ing the hole and waiting for tine island
to rise again. That's what man told me.
But the idea of war with our old mother.
Cod bless her and bless her noble queen,
who for over hf,y years has been a model
woman--a noble-hcartod lady OF the olden
times-an ilustrious example of good, old
fashioned, honest motherhood, had nine
children right straight along and nursed
them in the old-fashioncd way and give
taem castor oil ana sails and sung to
them at night just like we do. i have
great respect for any woman who has rails
ed nine children, and have 10 per cent
more respect for woman who has raised
UP ten, like my wife has; hut
an be ding-donEed If johnny Bull
or any other bul, shall put "a chip on
our hat We are going to investigate our
committee viii go over there aud report
and maybe by the Fourth of July we Will
know something about this business, and
then we VIII let it fret along for a year or
two and Xix up an arbitration, and by the
year 1900 the dispute Will be settled. That $
the way we did the Alabama claim and
the Boring seal fisheries We incident be
in any hurry about fighting. In fact, IL
looks like sacrilcse for Christian nations 10
talk war during Christmas times We
ought to have waited until tho Fourth OF
July-thuts the time 10 crow-but Old
Johnny Bun had better mind how he steps
over our hemisphere. The OLD rebs have
had their disabilities removed and they
haven't forgotten how England treated us
thirty-three years ago. 4 predicted that
congress would turn our boys loose just
a. soon as war was threatened That was
nice, wasent it, so generous, so magnani-
nous After waiting thirty long years
they did it in a. day without debate. We
dident ask it ana they showed it on US
sherman, Tom Reed q co. got together
the night after Mr., C!eveElnds war
message and said if We should have war
with England. where are we going to get
our mercenaries from. We can't get any
more from England or Ireland or Germany
or Spain, where we got them during the
last, and we win need those rebels down
south. The fact is, they are the best fight
ers the nation has got. We had five -
their one in the field and then it took four
years TO subdue them and they have pct
90O.O00 Of our men on the pension rolls
besides what they killed. The fact is we arc
Just obliged to have them and now is "a
good time to tender the olive branch.
Tba.t's what a man told me they said. Now
II they viii put our one legged, one armed
and one-eyed and disabled veterans on the
pension rolls too. we viii have some faith
in their magnanimity, but not until then.
II wouldent be any very big drain on tho
treasury, Tor we haven't but about 1o0,0C1
veterans left, all told, and not more than
one fourth of them would be pensioners.
our boys have been dying for thirty years,
but somehow or other theirs don't die
but keep on multiplying. There IS
another thing about it. That resolu-
ton was too short and too sdngy OF
language 1t ought 10 have had q pre-
amble and Soma words that indicated
regret for the long delay. Ia fact they
should have apologized and begged our
pardon and done the clean thing while
they were at it. My fear now is that II
x.rsll