Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1895-07-31
PATTERSON'S BOY.

PATTERSONS BUY.
1t is true saying "there are no days
like the old days." and, indeed, there
is no fiction so laughable as the real,
humorous incidents of our boyhood
days, at least to us, who can so vividly
remember every look and gesture of
some comic adventure or accident over
which at the time we 80 nearly split
our sides that we can't Bear to have a
woman's finger poking us in the ribs
even to this day without getting excited.
With this brief prelude, 1 will intro
duce "Patterson's Boy" Now, it has
always been an unanswered question,
"Who struck Billy Patterson ?" but I
am fully prepared to answer for "Pat-
terson's Boy,n and solemnly declare
that it was not who pulled the string.
In my young days "Patterson's Boy"
and 1 used to go for swimming bath
on Sunday morning during the sum-
mer in the Ohio river. We would 60
at an early hour, before sunrise, and, as
he was sleepyheaded youth, it re-
quired voice of thunder to rouse him
from his snoring. 1 got tired of the
strain on my lungs, and of seeing so
many indignant night-capped heads
pofeu out oY the neighboring windows,
so 1 suggested to "Patterson's Boy"
that he tie string to his big toe every
Saturday night, with the other end
tied to the fence, and 1 could just quiet
ly and gently pull the string, and wake
him without disturbing the neighbors.
This plan worked well for a time !;
but one night "Patterson's Boy" could
not find any other string to attach to
his toe but strong, closely twisted
cotton cord, called in the West TROLL
line, strong enough to hold the largest
fish in the river; so he tied the string
securely to his toe, and with the other
end fastened to the fence, he went to
sleep in all the sweet security of in
nocence, and soon his child-like snore
was mingling with the joyous music of
katydids and jar-bugs.
There was another innocent youth
who lived across the street from the
paternal mansion of "Patterson's Boy"
"The course of true love never did run
smooth"
Now, of course these boys loved
each other; but slight unpleasant
ness sprang up once between them
owing to a game of marbles, in which
"Patterson's Boy" came out so far
ahead that the boy could. never under
stand it, and it had been a puzzle to
him ever since, although he never cast
any imputation on the honor Of "Pat-
terson's Boy" and generously over
looking it, he loved him as well as
ever, and would 60 over and eat pie
with him whenever they had baking
at Patterson's.
One morning, however, this boy got
up early to solve the problem of that
game, and seeing the string tied to the
fence, he thought that might throw
some light on the subject, especially as
he knew the other end was tied to the
toe of "Patterson's Boy"
Now, Patterson's calf was lying
down by the fence near the string, so
the boy went up quietly and patted
the calf on the head, and petted it
until he had gained its confidence by
false pretenses, and then he unfasten-
ed the string from the fence and securely
tied it over the little stubby horns of
the calf; then he went over and sat
on the gatepost 10 watch the result.
In a few minutes I came walking
along to wake "Patterson's Boy" for
our swim, and when 1 approached the
fence, the calfjumped up in fright and
started on a run across the lot. /
heard a terrible racket inside, and the
tumbling over of tables and chairs,
and then a yell from "Patterson's
Boy" as he came through the window
with nothing on but his undergarment,
and with a kind of combination hop,
step and jump he went after that calf,
while the tail of his nightrobe sailed
out on the breeze, and Topped like
an election banner on windy day.
Away they went around the yard,
over the woodpile, through the gar
den, over beans, and peas, and toma-
to vines, and then disappeared in the
corn, where the rattle of the dried
corn blades or the yell of "Patterson's
Boy" was all that indicated anything
interesting down there.
But rackety-clack they came back
again, and ''Patterson's Boy" had
taken a deathgrip on that line to re-
lieve the unpleasant strain on his toe.