Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1895-01-04


to read Alright.
Love, then, must be this added sense, or sun
of all combined,
And love for ev'ry living thing the power t,
save mankind
Good Housekeeping
THE MAJOR ESCAPED,
If ever there was a foreordained ole
bachelor, that man was Major Teller.
He was a dapper, thin little man,
something under 8 feet in height, with
-. glossy black wig, closely trimmed
sida whiskers, and costume SO daintily
neat that he reminded you of shining
black cat
1t was high noon on a sparkling
windy March day when Major Teller
came home to the antique down town
boarding house where he had vegetated
for the last 40 years and went to his
room to brush his wig for the midday
meal Opening the door. he stumbled
over an obstacle in the way;
''Oh, beg your pardon, I'm sure, .
said the major, turning very red and
recovering his footing with difficulty:
1t was Miss Patience Pettigrew,> On
her hands and knees, cleaning off the
oilcloth at the door!
Now, the major was afraid Of Miss
Patience-afraid of her as the plump
lamb fears the gaunt wolf or the unof-
Tending robin the dire serpent
Miss Patience was tall and lean and
sallow, but she curled her hair, and
wore an artificial rose over her left ear,
and sang little whistling tunes to lit
tie spindle legged piano. and firmly be-
ieved that if she only waited little
longer she should get married to some
body.
"It's of no consequence, major, said
Miss Patience, recovering her piece Of
soap, which had skirmished out to the
middle of the carpet
''Thank you. 3"
81 do wonder, MAJOR" said Miss Pa
thence, with premonitory giggle, "why
you never got married.
The major retired precipitately be-
hind the coal scuttle and made no re-
ply.
YOU'D be so much more comfortable,
you know" added Miss Patience
Dear me, that was very narrow es-
cape, - thought our hero, emerging from
his sanctuary. 'Some day she'll be too
much for me. I'll look for new place
tomorrow.
Dear me, major, you have no appe-
tite," said Miss Patience sweetly at
the dinner table.
mo, ma 'am," said the major.
Don't you know, major, people will
say you are in love if you don't eat
more?''
II won't go back to that house if
can help it," thought Major Teller,
brushing the cold dew away from his
forehead with crimson handkerchief.
"Her intentions are serious; I know
they are. :"
And the major in his innermost mind
reviewed the catechism and hymns he
had learned as child, trying to think
if there was not some invocation partic-
ularly suited to an elderly gentleman in
great peril and perplexity.
Its 20 years since I've been in the
inside Of church, thought the peni-
tent old offender. 81 wish had gone
little more regularly. l. wonder if it's
too late in life to reform. -
For the major, poor old gentleman,
had vague idea that religion" would
I be sort of safeguard against the wiles
of his fair enemy.
As Major Teller was frantically re
volving these things in his mind he
came to sudden and involuntary stand
still. There was crowd gathered in
the street-a fallen omnibus horse, or an
arrested pickpocket, or some other nu
cleus
Now, of all things. Major Teller most
dreaded crowd, and he looked around
nervously for some means of escape.
An old fashioned church, with open
doors and some sort of service going
on inside, caught the majors eye. He
made an instantaneous dart for its huge
gothic portals, shielded by inner doors
of green baize.
The church was very warm, and the
light, softened by purple and golden
and crimson glass, was dim, and the cler-
gyman's vuice rather monotonous, and
Major Teller was unconsciously becom-
ing rather drowsy, when a plump old
lady came in, and the sexton beckoned
him from his seat
But the sermon was over, and people
were streaming down the aisle, and the
major felt that he did not care to pro-
long the thing, and that he had done a
very laudable act in coming to church,
and
Even while these ideas We're passing
indistinctly through his brain he was
borne toward the altar in an upward
eddy of the crowd and felt gaunt arm
thrust through his.
Protect me, MAORI" whispered Miss
Patience Pettigrew. "I'm so feared in
crowd always
The major strove to withdraw his
arm. but Miss Pettigrew would not let
him. They were standing directly in
lister, old and nearsighted and little
deaf, advanced, probably concluding
that his services were required.
Major Teller's blood ran cold. He
tried to protest, but his tongue seemed
paralyzed. Miss Pettigrew had captured
him as lamb for the slaughter, and
where was the use of further struggle?
A few words-an appallingly brief
ceremony-and Major Teller was mar
1ied to Miss Patiencel
''Take the market basket, my DEAR
said the gaunt bride, land stay-you'd
better carry the umbrella too Well
60 right home. Old folks like you and
me don care for wedding tours, do we?''
The major looked piteously at his
better half and made no answer. She,
however, waited for none, but drew hint
slong with quiet determination that
argued i'll for the future.
''Give me the key to the room, my
deal" " said Mrs. Pettigrew Teller. "I'd
better keep it in future
The major handed over the key with.
out a word of remonstrance, ard his cid