The Van Buren press., 1895-02-09
HARD ON THE PoULrHYMAN.
Tho Purchaser Was Carrying Out 1ile
Wifc's Directions In Buying Turkey.

The Purchaser Was Carrying Out 1fte
Wifcs Directions In Baying q Turkey.
He had been gazing long and earn
estly at the rows of turkeys hanging
ff6in the hooks of stand in Washing
ton market, and the poultryman began
to eye him suspiti5usly. Yet he did
not look like thief, the mild look in
his eye denoting anything but the
CLEAN of acquisition. Still, his actions
were not calculated to inspire conf
dence.
Every now and then he would walk
ip to the faek and feel gobbler's
breast bone, then staffd of and take
side look at the fowl, moving around
presently and gazing at 1t from the
other side. In this way he would adj
mire it from all points OF view and
seemed to derive immense satisfaction
from the observation.
The poultrymnn was fast becoming
nervous over these strange proceed
ings, and to put an end to his anxiety
as to the mans intentions he ap-
pro2ched him and asked:
well, sir, what can do for you?"
The man started, and for moment
appeared to be disconnected, but recov-
ering himself somewhat he blushingly
stamfnered:
"Why, you see, I don't quite know
yet"
"Wel it's about time you did,"
grufly replied the poultryman.
"Ye-yes-I suppose SO, but l don't.
want to get n turkey, but want to
be quite sure of my ground before I
proceed"
The poultryman looked at him still
more suspiciously.
II dare say you will think me lit
tie peculiar" continued the stranger,
"but the fact is my wife is not very
we'll, and she has sent me to buy tur-
key for our dinner. Now, ] never
bought turkey in my life, and l don't
want to make any mistake in it.
have full instructions from my wife,
but still IL requires great care to carry
them out"
"Oh, II that's ALL" said the poultry.
man, rcassured, Il will help you out"
"You will?' asked the man, eagerly.
"With pleasure. What's the matter
with this one?" and he took down q
turkey and held it up to view.
docs the breast move in or out un-
der pressure2" asked the purchaser
doubtfully.
"Try it for yourself"
.It seems flexible" said the man
gingerly, pressing his fingers upon the
part mentioned. "You know my wife
is great judge of these things and she
told me all about it. Now, about the
color OF the legs. They should be
purpley blue, with just q tinge of
gray"
"Well, there they are; you couldn't
get anything nearer the description
unless we painted them for you"
mo, no; l don't want 'em painted.
She said the color should be natural.
Now, about the flesh; 1 want to pinch
that and see that it is elastic.
well, PINCH" said the dealer.
The purchaser pinched and pinched
until there was not an inch of the bird
not fairly covered; then he gave sigh
of satisfaction.
THAT seems all right. But there's
one thing more-the wings. You don't
mind my twisting them according to
my wife's instructions? She calls that
the crowning test of tenderness" and
he delicately turned them around as
he would the knob of door. This
done, he opened the beak and looked
into the mouth devoting considerable
time to minute examination Of the
tip of the tongue. Finally he an
nounced his satisfaction, paid for the
turkey and started of with it.
He reached the door, then suddenly
turned.
"Great Heavens! foygot to exam
inc Aexibility of the spur, and without
being backed by that all other tests
are useless"
But the poultry man had vanished
into nearby saloon and at that mo-
ment was engaged in toning up his
nerves for the next customer.-N. Y.
Herald.