The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-03-12
MR.. W1GGLESWORTH
He Joins In SNOWFALL Fight and Learns
Something.

II declare, 7" said Mr.. Wigglesworth,
who was looking out of the front window,
g If that doesn't make me feel like a boy
againi's
In the vacan lot across the street tho
boys of the neighborhood, his own among
the number, had cast up the walls of a
snow fort, and now fine mimic battle
was raging. Mr.. Wigglesworth noted the
life and action, and his blood moved
quicker.
s'B' george, he exclaimed, with shuttle
of his feet, IF haven't two minds to go
out end give those boys try myself!'
Don't you think you might take cold?"
chirped Mrs. WiggIesworth.
''Ba-h-h-hp he growled, instantly hoist
ing his voice to high key. You're al
ways wanting me to mufie up and totter
and drop into the tomb. Think you're
going to get my life insurance, don't ye?
Where's my mittens?' And tho next in
slant Mr.. Wigglesworth was sliding down
the front stoop and blowing across the
yard on his back having slipped in his
haste as he came through the door. The
boys saw him and staid the battle for a
moment
WHO'S de cove in de red 1nittens?'' cried
one of them.
Its pa, shouted little Willie Wiggles-
worth as the old man struggled to his
feet. ''Hooray, pa-look at our fortl''
Mr.. Wigglesworth picked his enthusi-
asln out of the snow and said:
Boys, remember when me and the
Dodley twins had forts all one winter and
I'm going to show you lads how US old
fellows used to run fight"
"Whoo-pel" yelled the boys.
"That's it!' cried Mr.. Wigglesworth,
enthusiasm mounting. I'm stand the
whole crowd of ye Get into the fort there
and lookout for me, for down comes the
walls at the first onslaught
A boy with two teeth missing instant
1y lodged SNOWFALL against Mr.. Wiggles-
worth S prominent Adams apple.
who did that?'' he shrieked as the
shirt bosom. Don't ye see I wasn't
ready?"
Nobody volunteering an answer Mr..
Wigglesworth swallowed his passion and
hastily rolled up some balls of snow.
You boys, - he said as he ostentatously
went through these preparations are too
slow. You stand off and discharge projec-
tiles at each other, but what does that
amount to? What propose to do is to
carry your works by assault, y understand,
sames used to do with the Dodley twins.
I give ye fair warning, you see, because
I'm a man and don't want to hurt ye.
Once get inside your fort you must scat
ter else of course I'll have to fire you
out Now, look out, for the old mans
coming, and death rides on the gale!'
The poetry of battle mounted in Mr.
Wigglesworth' S imagination as he shouted
these warning words, and then he charged
forward. 1t never was clearly explained
to him what next took place Mrs. Wig
ellsworth. who was looking on from the
window, said that for an instant the sun
was obscured by 1900, 900 snowballs that
issued from tie fort, every one of which,
she thinks, struck Mr.. Wigglesworth on
the head.
That was subsequently understood to be
Mr.. Wigglesworth' S opinion also.
Half way up to the fort, her deposit
tion continues, Mr.. Wigglesworth enooun-
tered quicksands in the form of yielding
snow, into which he sank SO deeply that
his line of attack wavered. This gave op-
portunity for the besieged to discha rge an
other vollcy, wherein was displayed the al
most superhuman accuracy of aim of the
boy with two front teeth missing. 1t was
a SNOWFALL with a marble heart, the mar
BILE having been frozen into it overnight,
and it hattened Mr.. Wigglesworth's nose
SO closely to his face that his own family
never could have recognized him.
A man cbopping wood over behind
Dodges mountain put a piece in the local
paper stating that he distinctly heard Mr..
Wigglesworth' IS yell 1t was a clear, frosty
day, when sound travels a great distance.
WHO fired that rock?'' screamed Mr..
Wigglesworth. He was answered by
cheer and another volley. Little Willie
Wigglesworth was overheard by comrade
who stood next in line, boy with freckles,
but said to be quite truthful, to hiss be-
tween his smoke begrimed lips that he'd
give cents to plug one into the old mans
ear, and the boy afterward stated that the
feat was achieved and claimed the cents.
The historian has to confess that the
vehicle of narrative is inadequate to the
rapid action Of the scene which Mrs. Wig
ellsworth, with abated breath, now wit
messed from the window. Her husband,
she states, appeared to have abandoned his
intention of showing how battles were
won in the days of the Dodley twins, and
she Judged by the frenzied manner in
which he plucked his legs out of the cling
ing snow and dashed the atmosphere with
his arms and uttered remarks that it were
not fit for women to hear, though she lis
tened as carefully as she could, and even
tried to get the window open, but it was
frozen down, that his purpose was to catch
as many boys as he could in his two hands
at once and pull their legs off, which SEEM
ed to her a horrible thing to do, but few
of as realize, unless we have been there,
and none of US have if we could secure a
substitute, what terrible thing war is.
But Just as he got close under the walls
and was reaching for boy Mr.. Wiggles-
worth suddenly disappeared from the gaze
of his herrified wife The boys, with a
knowledge of warfare such as the Dodley
twins ne yer in their most twinly moments
dreamed of, had mined the snowdrifts be-
fore the walls, and when Mr. Wiggles-
worth s heavy weight was projected upon
the superimpending crust he went through
without waiting moment to take breath.
At the bottom of the excavated space the
juvenile engineers had arranged a small
pond of water in which to freeze snow
balls, and which was found to be large
enough to take in all of Mr.. Wigglesworth
at once. The boys then tipped the walls
of the fort over ON him. and with three