Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-12-28

station that he had found it and claim
the reward. My ears are rather promi
nent. He called them andes to my
cad. My nose is not quite Grecian il
outline. He thought it must have been
put on hot and run over my face. My
mouth is rather large. He asked if it
buttoned behind.
Having disposed of my face and fig
ure, he passed on to my clothes. Of my
serge suit he had not much to say. In
deed it appeared to satisfy him more
than it did rue, for | had addressed a
few deprecatory remarks to my tailor
on the subject few days before. My
gloves he suggested / should wear on
my feet and hoped they would fit bet
ter than my shoes did.
His structures were we'll grounded,
for, wanting pair Of shoes for bicy-
cling some weeks ago, I bought some
ready made ones Of brown calf and had
been i'll advised enough to wear them
on this occasion. They did not fit me
we'll and were fast wearing out. I
should have liked the man who sold
them to me for As. Sd. to have heard
my critics remarks upon them. From
the technicalities he employed l rather
think he must have been interested
in shoe leather.
Otherwise, from the general tone of
his criticisms, I feel sure he would have
attributed some Of their deficiencies of
appearance to the feet inside them. My
shirt did not please him. 1t was Of blue
striped flannel. He asked me how much
Igave for it, but I did not tell him, be-
cause he would not have believed me.
He pointed ont that he himself was
man enough to wear white shirts, and
indeed it was quite conceivable that the
one he had on might have been white a
week ago, and, given large expendi-
ture of soap and labor, might some day
be white again.
He wanted to know why /, who call
cd myself toff Il never have), couldn t
afford anything better than flannel. He
said he was ashamed Of me. He had
said that before, and he said it often
afterward. I felt rather apprehensive
about the treatment my tie would un-
dergo, and when its time came it was
very fully dealt with. It certainly was
rather gaudy. It was made Of Indian
cotton, in a pattern of yellows and
green's and reds.
After its cheapness Of appearance, the
thing that seemed to strike him most
was its inadequacy as protection
against cold. As it was only rather a
narrow bow, this deficiency was perhaps
not quite so remarkable as he was in
clined to make out He said if I would
make him present Of it he would give
it to his missus for pair of garters,
but did not offer to do SO.
He offered me half crown for my
bag, sixpence for my stick, ninepence
for my umbrella and various sums rang
ing from farthings up to nearly d
shilling and amounting i'll the aggregate
to about four and sixpence, for all my
clothes as / stood. There was no ques-
ton for myself-in fact, he said he had
seen better men made out Of tea leaves.
My gun and cartridges he did not iden.
tify as belonging to me, but carpet
bag which was over my head ruled the
market at one and sixpence, because he
said it would be useful for his old cat te
kitten in.
This mistake proved his downfall anG
nv salvation. The lady to whom it be
longed, virtuous female who was con
voying two children and husband tt
the seaside, was very much offended al
this allusion to her property. She sale
she was respectable married woman
which was obvious; that she had left
home that morning with headache ant
fixed on nonsmoking carriage for the
curious reason that she didn't want te
travel in a smoking one.
She rebuked my astounded aggressol
in no measured language for his treat
ment Of me, whom she was kind enough
to refer to as Every civil spoken gen
tlema1, and took me under her wing
generally. I was very grateful. My as
sailant, who had hitherto been under
the impression that his witticisms were
much appreciated by large and ad'
miring gallery, dried up completely ano
only recovered his spirits after nap
from which he awoke only in time tt
alight at his destination. He then sale
Good evening" quite politely, and add
ed that if were to step out of the train
he would give me in charge for abusive
language. Pail Mall Gazette.
A Modest Philosopher.
.Jobn Smart Mill uaa an nnassnmine