Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1895-09-12
THE HUSBANDS GUIDE


scented.
That children have a right to ask quss.
tions.
That an honest confession Is good for
the soul
That If you must play poker. pay Il
at home.
1bat there are limits to a woman's
credunty.
That the landlord ioye,h promp,-ps
ing tenant.
That the walls of an apartment house
have ears.
That phosphate of soda Is good for a
torpid liver.
That It is undignifled to dodge your
wife on pay day.
That no onu has anything to gain by
hiding your hat.
That a dozen bone collar buttona Will
not last forever
That an Old bachelor Is usually a pereon
to bo pitied.
That no woman ever Intentionally burn
ed a peetateak
That you had better make the best or
your situation.
That you should learn 10 tie YOUR own
"four-ln-hand,"
That You are not the only man that
can dress salad.
That your car fare foots up to 81 in a
single day.
That no gentleman Rsits hts wife to
rush the Erowler.
That " is "a woman'a way alWays 10
have tho last word.
That yours was not the first baby ever
born IN this world
That Il doesn't pay to accuse the janitor
OF stealing coal.
That family affairs should never be
mixed with your drinks.
That you should set the example whore
there are children.
That you may furnish your home with
CLUB comforts"
That your cigars cost more than your
wtfe'n perfumrry does,
That every man who chances at your
wife II not 'mRsher."
That only a brute rmaTks. mo one
ever died OF n toothaehe."
That an occasional dinner down town
is enjoyed by your wife.
That an apartment req hed by elevator
Ia worth tho eAtra rent.
That you can get n certificate Of at.
tendance at TurklAh bath.
That II may be profitable to get your
wife to learn the typewriter.
That women. when given a ehanes, be-
come enthusiastic anglers.
That you aro not the possesser Of the
only palate In the household.
That no gentleman leaves his wife at
the theater between the acts.
That you should keep UP your lie in.
That a safe rule is to avoid the occasion
Of iufraetien Of marital duties.
That q rood stery 10 as much appre-
oiAted in the household as IN the cafe.
That after shaving It Is best immedI-
atoly to apply wltohhasd or baylum.
That the differences Of the families in
the hats are no concern OF yours.
That your wife may grow as tired OF
'the house as yen do Of "the offlco."
That no woman over Erows too old not
10 enioy the gift of cut nowers
That it Ia well to pretend nm interest
in the contents Of the letter from ma"
That you should never 20 to any place
where you would not take your wife.
That fow dellara In the savings bank
is a comfortable thing9tu reflect upon.
That It iH hogEisn thing 10 carry the
morning paper away from the house.
That no household In which there are
growing girls should be without A piano.
That no gentleman allows his wife to
support the family by taking IN wash.
ing
That women have many things TO make
them cranky" aHd you arc one OF them.
That tic man who buyH an ice cream
freezer is generally called upon to turn
It.
That letters intIusted 10 your care ar.
"a be mailed. not filed In your inside
That there arc Just as good pies turned
out today rs those your mother used 10
make.
That It Is u fine thing to have wife
who cares for anything else but buying
clothes.
That It Is possible for man to learn
the rudiment0 OF sewing, and that pa
thence and persistcnce ara valuable quail
tiles TO poases when attempting to thread
a needle.
That the latest popular novel rarely
costs more than the price OF u round Of
drinks.
That smoking cap is not necessary
to the enjoyment OF an hour with My
Lady Nicotine.
That constant dict OF coffee. eggs and
toast for breakfast IL sure to bring on
dyspepsia
That it IL wen 10 keep your prom
ises to tho children, even though It be a
promised walloplng.
That reasonable allowance OF pocket
money does not necessarily. make u boy
a spendthrift.
That 1t is proverbizlly bad pollcy 10
refer In your wife'B hearing TO "those
Jolly bachelor days"
That II your boy reads trashy reveis Il
is because you do not supply them with
better pobulum.
Thai doing Sunday afternoon away on
n sofa lounge 10 net Spending the day
with your wife.
InAt u 10 a kcOn ioca 70 urop IN once
In while upon the public school that
your little ones attend
That your wife Will think none the less
Of you II YOU raise your hat when meat
Ing or leaving her.
That you should DO prepared 90 offer
your visitors tho class OF rsfroshnsnts
they most desire.
That oscuiation and other dernonstra-
tons OF conjuxsl srsetiep should not take
place IN public.
That the Stray hair on your shoulder |
shovld rraetiy match the tint Of that on |
your wife's head.
That thu wedding anniversary Ia an &C.
cnHion for soue remembrance, let the |
token be ever so slight.
That your wife ~ not responEibis for |
the decline IN ntecits and tho depistion |
OF the gold reserve
That tho wonderfully bright Sayings Of |
your S-year-old are not always rss 70 |
get the table ia q roar"
That you have no right 10 DO siovefity |
In your attire because you are no Longer |
In the matrimonial market.
That ninety-nins women IN hundred /
would rather see a man smoke a pirs Ia |
the houp- than cigarette.
That Sunday r. not day or rest 20 the |
wife. who IL required TO Spend the greater |
porticn OF u IN the kitchen.
That the average wife 10 as smart as
you are and can readily detect the Gausi-
ness Of the fabric OF your tale
That II 10 an nnt or cruelty 20 the /
women folks 10 take home n Newspaper