Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1895-02-22
nyMaR OF THE DAY.

A man vno is crooked usually fol.
lows his own bent.
You can usually tell an ass by his
lack of horse-sense. e.-Puck.
Miss Elder1y-"I tainted last night"
Maude--"Who proposed ?"--Life.
A man would be surp1isedif he were
what a woman thinks ne is.--Detroit
Free Press.
She-"And what would You be now
# it weren't for my money!" He
"A bachelor. Pail Mall Budget.
Elsie-"She says s-e is twenty.
two" Ethel-"Then she must have
deducted her time allowance. Puck.
Let play house be built
Which no others may use
Than the girls with big hats
And the men with big shoes.
Washington Star.
He-'Darling, will you love me
when I'm goneY" She-"Yes, if You
are not too far gore. London lid.
Bits.
Miss Olds--"Ies; he said yesterday
that to him my face was like book"
Miss Frend "ks plain as that?"---
Puck.
The first setback in many a. mans
life occurred at school when ne was
set back among the girls. -Rockland
(Me.) Tribune.
''But what earthly use is it to Gis-
cover the North Pole? I can't see. -
'It will save future expeditions. -
Horna-'c Ro1or
"How con there be sucn thing as
whole day, yen know" unused
Fweddy, "when it bweaks evewy
mawning g?"-Chicago Tribune.
"You'll please look over this small BILL
Exclaimed the dun. the debtor took 1t
And then said he, with weary smile,
'1'd rather overlook it,"
Pertly-ssT is one thing have
to say in favor of the wind when il
whistles" Dullhead-sW whats that?"
Pertly-"1t never whistles popular
airs. ."-Harper's Bazaar.
No matter how good the deacon is,
he will always look wise and pleased
if anybody suggests that he was
pretty lively young fellow when he
was boy.-Somerville Journal.
81 thought you told me that Miss
Brown had spent great deal of money
on her voice?" "Well. SO I did. "
"But she can't sing" "Well, I didn':
say that she could, did I?"-Truth.
Little Rich Girl-''Don't you wish
you had q pair of lovely red glovef
like me?" Little Poor Girl-"Doni
you wish you had pair of lovely red
hands, like me ?"-South Boston News.
Bronson ''Hnvo the detectives
found out anything about that burg
larry yet?" Johnson-"Yes; they've
come to the conclusion that the mo-
tive for the crime was money. "-Bos.
ton Herald.
There is woman in Georgia weigh.
ing 600 pounds who makes moonshine
whisky. Hasn't woman who weighs
600 pounds got trouble enough of her
own without making it for other
ople?-Rockland (Mc.) Tribune.
She lat the dinner)-"I think our
hostess is the most perfect lady ever
saw" He-tYes, but notice that
she made one break early in the even
ing" She-''Shc always does that.
It puts her guests more at their ease.
New York Herald.
Rambling Ra2gsy-"Will yer please
givc me q dime, sir, to get sumthin'
to eat?" Citizen-"What can you get
for dime?" r. R.--'I kin get q
plate of hash for nickel, SIR" c.
''What do you want with the other five
csnts?" r. R.-"That, sir, is fur tip
fur the waiter. New York Press.
Sir George Look here, John! My
lady complains that when you 500 her
in the street you never salute her.
What do you mean by it?" John
"Beggin' your pardin. Sir George, but
in book on ettyketty which pos.
sess it ic set down that tho lady ought
to bow first. Household Words.
Tie neighber who borrows your
wheelbarrow and rake and sprinkline
hose and lawn-mower and one thing
and another in tho summer never
comes to borrow your snow shovel in
the winter. And when he shovels of
his own walk it is touching to note
with what cxactness hc works up to
the line where your lots divide, with
out infringing the smallest fraction Of
an inch upon tho snow that lies on your
part of the sidewalk. .-Rockland (Me.)
Tribune.