The Forrest City times., 1895-05-10
HE HANGS PAPER.
MT. Wiggle sworth's Experience at
 Spring House Cleaning.

8At the first step MT. Wigglesworth made into the front hall his foot rested upon moist cake of soap, and in another instant he was over by the dining-room door with his arms around the hat-tree and some language trailing on behind that left coppery taste in the atmosphere as it slowly curled up the front stairs.
 "Who left that soap on the floor2" he yelled, as soon as he could unlock him. self from the hat-tree.
 "Why-I-I guess Mary must" stam- mered Mrs. Wigglesworth, who had rushed in from the kitchen with a potato masher in her hand. We've are cleaning house, you know"
 Cleaning house!" said her husband; well, s'pose ye are? You needn't think you're going to use me to flop up your moors with" Mir. Wigglesworth meant to say mop up your floors. but the sud- denness ofhis entrance had temporarily unhinged his tongue. Think you've seen me advertised in the back end of the magazine, don't ye?" he continued, warranted to save labor or money re- funded! Reckon I'm to be had of all grocers, s'pose, or sent prepaid on re- ceipt of price!"
 These retorts were so keen that Mir. Wigglesworth found his good-nature coming back through their exercise, and he ate dinner without umbling more than a man has to do ordinarily When he went into the sitting room he found the carpet up and there was bundle of wall paper in chair.
 What's this?" he sniffed, suspi- ciously.
 "It'swall paper" his wife responded; "I got it at great bargain down to Root & Gilder's-closing out of new spring goods just received, at less than cost"
 "Huh!" grunted her husband, unroll- ind a package and holding 1t wrong side up. Looks like case of delir- ious trimmings"
 "Yes," fluttered Mrs. Wigglesworth, ''it is the new art, the man said-after Aubrey Beardsley."
 "Whos Aubrey Beardsley?" coldly returned Mir. Wigglesworth with falling infection.
 "He-he is-the-the man that has got up so many new ideas of-of art" Mrs. Wigglesworth explained; "they are quite crazy over him, you know, so the man said"
 "Well. if they're any crazier than Beardsley I pity 'em," growled her husband, dropping the roll in disgust. "Who's going to hoist this nightmare onto our walls?" he added.
 "I-I want you to step in and speak to the paperhanger on your way down." his wife returned, timidly.
 "Oh, yes, that's it" Mir Wiggles- worth snorted, Heller with black board on his shoulder and a hinge in the middle and four dollars day" and then an idea shot into MT. Wiggles- worth's active brain. "B'george!" he cried, firing with it, "Tll hang this paper myself" and he began peeling off his coat.
 But, Ellery," his wife said, in mild approximation, ''you haven't had any experience.
 Experience nothing!" retorted MT. Wigglesworth, whats experience go. to do with a handy man? Four dollars a days experience enough for me, and I must be chump if can't smear some moist flour oyer the rear end of a few sheets of paper and slap 'em up against smooth wall!"
 When MT. Wigglesworth had made up his mind to thing it was like the French revolution, it had to go. In brief time he had the hired girl boiling some paste and Mrs. Wig ellsworth had tied one of her aprons about his neck, much to his disgust. She said when all nature was vocal with the melody of spring, when birds were fluting their first glad notes ana a thousand streams made music in their journey toward the sea, she didn't pro pose to have her husband going through