The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-08-13
MR.. AND MRS. BOWSER.
An Umbrella Forces Itself Be-
tween Them.
OTHER INCIDENTS MAR THE PERFECT
Harmony of Their Welded BIlss-The
Limit rs Finally Reached and Bow
ser Makes His Usual Declaration.

Limit is Finally Reached and Bow
ser Makes His Usual Declaration.
It was pouring rain when Mr.. Bowser
came home the other evening, and Mrs
Bowser, who was watching for him
from a front window, saw that he was
soaking wet and realized that a scene
was at hand. She opened the front door
for him with the remark:
"I'm SO sorry Get into some dry
clothes right away
Mr.. Bowser made no reply. He hung
up his hat, walked into the sitting room
with his feet all muddy and the wet
dripping from his clothes, and then
turned on her with:
''Mrs. Bowser, what did say to YOU
as left the house this morning? Don't
attempt any evasion, now, but tell me
what I said!''
"Why, I remember you said it looked
bit like rain, - she answered.
81 said it would rain before night,
and it basl I'm wet to the hide!''
CHATS too bad!'
''Too bad! And whose fault is it? Nv
mind was occupied with business af-
fairs, and you knew it was, and yet you
saw me walk off without an umbrella
Mrs. Bowser, r.
"Why, you took your umbrella along"
she interrupted.
Never p
"Of course you did! Don't you re-
member dropping it at the gate? You
walked right out of the Office and left
it there. -
81 did, eh? Why don't you call me a
first class idiot and be done with it?''
"You must have done so, for you
surely carried it away with you. F."
That's exactly what he did do, and
he knew it, but he squirmed out of it
by Offering to bet her 1000, 900 to
cent that the front door had been left
wide open all the afternoon and that a
hall thief had carried off half the things
down stairs.
One morning there was a smell of gas
down cellar and Mr.. Bowser went down
to see if he could discover a leak. He
put on an old hat kept for "poking
around, " and when he left the house he
wore it away. It was rusty and spotted
and broken, but it was only when the
boys down town began to ''Shoot that
hatP' that he tumbled to it. Then he
few back with his eyes hanging out and
his face plum colored, and he was no
sooner inside the house than he shouted:
''Look as it, Mrs. Bowser! Look at
that internal old junk shop which you
deliberately saw me wear away on my
head and never said a word about it rs.
Did you wear that hat down tOwn?'
"Did I? Did I?'' he shouted as he
banged it on the floor and jumped ON it.
But suidn't see you go. was up
stairs when you went Mr.. Bowser, you
are certainly very absentminded :"
81 am, eli? It's wonder that don't
forget to come home, isn't it? Mrs
Bowser, if there is another house in the
United States as badly mismanaged as
this. I'd like to see it!''
But can you blame me because you
wore your old hat away?" she protested.
:'That s it-that's it Shoulder it off
on me. The papers talk about the star
thing number Of divorces. It's a wonder
to me there are not five times as many. "
One day Mr.. Bowser brought home
patent corkscrew, which some fakir had
sold him, and Mrs. Bowser saw him
drop it into wall pocket. A week later,
after wandering around the house for
half an hour one evening, he halted be-
fore her and said:
''I'n be hanged if I don't get some
chains and padlocks and see if I can't
have things left where put them"
''What is it now?''
81 brought home a can opener a few
days ago and left it on bracket in the
dining room. It's gone, of course, prob
ably given away to some big, lazy
tramp. It's a wonder we have thing
left in this house. :"
"a can opener?"
Eyes, a can opener. If you never
heard of a can opener, I'll hire some
one to write you out a history of it. It
was invented to open cans. "
"Why, we have two or three in the
kitchen. Do you mean can opener?"
81 don't mean windmills or thrash
ing machines. 3"
''You had it in pink paper?''
eyes, mas am"
''It was the day the man fixed the
gate?"
SIT was.
''Well, I saw you drop it in that wall
pocket, and it is a corkscrew and not a
can opener"
''It is, Ell? Perhaps I don't know a
hitching post from the city hall!'' he
growled as he reached for the parcel and
unrolled it. It was corkscrew. It could
only be used as a corkscrew. 1t was
made and sold for a corkscrew
Didn't I tell you?'' queried Mrs.
| Bowser.
''Tell re what. You told me it was a
corkscrew, and it's a can opener, just as
| I said it was. -
cts a corkscrew, Mr.. Bowser, as ev-
erybody will tell you. -
81 say it's can opener, and if all
the world was to say to the contrary it
would still be can opener. Mrs. Bow
| II