Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-04-25
A GrccIy Story.

Hayden Carruth tells good story
in Hdyper'S M0nthLy for April apro
pos of the n0toriosly bad handwrit
ing of Horace Greedy and the trou
ole 1t gave the COmpOsit0rs of the
Ir'6u1e. One Of these compositors
named Larkway, II character i'm the
composing room, as Greely was in
the editorial sanCtum, was noted for
oclng able to make something out
OF anything Mr.. Greely wrote. Or
one occasion two live young roOsters
of IA new strain were sent to the editor
rs present, but he complained that
they ate up all his paste, and he
gave them to the foreman Of the
posing-rOOm to get rid of them
What followed Mr.. Carruth tells
thus:
"After they had been with us a
couple Of weeks the boy one day
left the ink-rOller of the prOof-press
on the floor. One of the roosters
walked over it and then across a
piece of white paper. The foreman
saw him and great light burst in
upon his mind which nearly stunned
him. He slapped his leg with his
hand hard enough to break it and
shut his jaws together like a wise tu
keep from breaking out in v0lcanC
of laughter. He walked to his desk
as If in trance, keeping his eye on
Larkway. Before he went home he
spoke to the proof reader and one or
two others, and they fractured their
legs with their hands and then they
all went off to the hospital for the
night.
"The next afternoon they were
back at the Office two hours before
the usual time. The foreman caught
one rooster and the prooE-reader the
other, and they took them over in
the corner behind the imposing
stones. They had previously sent
the devil down to Mr.. Greeley's
room to get dozen sheets of the
paper he always wrote on. These
they spread on the floor in the form
of square, carefully linked the feet
OF the fowls and set them to fighting
on the copy paper. They had Just
had meal of cOckroaches and they
went at each other savagely. Every
two or three minutes the men would
take them off, ink the bottoms OF
their feet and toss them into the
ring again. At the end of the
twenty minutes every sheet of the
paper was covered with their tracks,
and the foreman gathered I'D the
pages, numbered them and scrawled
head on the first one. The Plain
Duty of Congress- in the imitation
Of Greely's hand, marked the whole
Double Head and hung
ii on the copy hook.
"Pretty soon the men began to
drop in, hut they had all heard the
game was up and picked around the
article. After while Larkway came
numbering along. He had just made
new pipe out of the biggest corn
ever raised in Cayuga county and a
particularly crooked pig's tail from
Brattleboro', VT, and seemed unusu-
ally pert. He started the confagra.
tion in his pipe, put on his specta.
cles and walked to the hook.
|" Hey! You tellers still soldier.
ing, amt you?" he cried. Still
afraid of the old mans stuff, hev ?
Can't rastle with it, can you? Had
to leave it for old Larkway, didn't
you? Well, that is all right. Hike
it. You do me favor when you
leave il to me-
He took it, walked over and
slammed it down on his upper case
planted handful of leads on the
bottom Of it and picked up his stick
Every man in the room held hi.
sides and watched to see the old mar
tiab bergasted, but by the G0Odnes.
OF Truth he began to set it.
Yes, Larkway started to set it
AT the end of the second line he be
gan to look a little troubled, laiC
down his stick, and we thought oul
moment Of victory was come, bu
he only swore little, knocked tn,
ashes out of his pipe, refilled it, ii
it with one Of the husks from tn,
outside, picked up his stick ant
went on. You could have packet
every one Of us in a hat-boX. Th
old cave-dweller worked on anC
never looked up again until he 90
almost to the bottom of the las
page. Here he stuck on the plac
the rooster had slapped down tn
| ShA W. ITO wing, tiSo lnhy. LtGke'
studied over it for a long time thel
he said to the foreman
SO Darn if the best of us don't ge
hung up on "A word once in while
WHAT'S that down there 2"
60 Don't ask me- said the fore
man. You know that | cannO
read the stuff. Go down and as
the old man HIMSELF
Larkway shuffied out with
long face, carrying his pipe in on
hand and the copy in the other. III
went into the chiefs room and sal
in low tone: Mr.. Greeley, III
stuck. What is that word ?"
"Greeley snatched the sheet fror
his hand mpatiently, studied for
moment, and then squeaked in hi
highest voice:
So Unconstitutional, sir! Gres
JehOshaphat, it seems to me some
times as If this Office was full {
pesky college graduates, and after
have given the Janitor strict order
not to allow one of them i'm tn
: building."'
: Too CLEAN.-A young man hi
been misunderstood. He was ira,
cling salesman in the employ of or
of the large Western hOuseS and