Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1895-10-26
PEN, PASTE AND SCISSORS.


1t is difficult to humiliate woman
who wears boomers.
Even poor, tired old girl whose
laugh sounds like a wall, likes to be
told that she has miSchieyous eyes.
The girl who boasts of the number
of times she has been engaged, makes
the discreditable admisgion that none
of the young men were in earnest.
A wedding at Columbus, Ind, was
abruptly postponed because the bride
to-be was too long in dressing. The
groom-elect became impasient, tore
the marriage license to pieces and de-
clared the game off.
Charlie Finch: Ingalls, says the man
is now living who will see a journey
made across the continent in one day.
1t is his own personal experience that
has led him to this belief. The Pop
ulists once fired ingalls, from Wash
ington back to Kansas in about fifteen
minutes.
After a mind-reader had demon
strated to a party of ladies and gen
tlemen his ability to read a newspaper
through two thicknesses of horse
blanket, one of the girls left the room
with the remark that she ''wasn't
going to stay any longer with that
calico dress on
\ Liverpool paper says young man
was arrested in that city charged with
kissing young lady against her will.
The prisoner pleaded that she was in
boomers and he mistook her for his
long lost brother. The magistrate
discharged him, and it is said the
local tradesmen can now scarcely sup
ply the demand for bicycle and
boomers.
The dispatches say that the reason
the Defender failed to win out on the
second race with the Valkyrie was
because her boom broke just as the
race began. Now that is language
the Kansas man can grab hold of
mentally. He knows what happens
when the boom breaks. If it hadn't
been for just that, there would have
the all-firedeSt lot of plutOcrats in
Kansas to-day you ever saW.-Mail.
Old people never pretend to stay in
bed all night. They get up fully
half dozen times, and go wandering
around with lights in their hands,
! looking for the origin of noises. to see
what time it is, and on half dozen
other pretexts. If you feel like wan
dering around the house at night with
your night clothes Topping around
your knees, it is an indication you are
not as young as you used TO be.-Atch-
son Globe.
| Young man get move On you.
Don't wait for something to turn up.
Ten to one your toes will turn up and
the daisies will be growing over you
before the job you are waiting for
comes to you and bids you good morn
| ing. Don't stand around with your
hands in your pocket like YOU were
holding onto your wealth for fear you
were about to be robbed You know
know you have nothing in them but
an old jack-knife, and a piece of to-
bacco left over when you bit off more
than you could chew from the last
fellow you borrowed of. Hunt some
thing to do if you can't get more than
your board for it. Better wear out
than rust out.
How often we see the look of scorn
upon the cOuntenance of an individual
when he fails to find a notice in his
paper on some commendable act. Who
is to blame? Do you ever stop and
tell the editor what you see in your
daily routine? He appreciates such
things; it costs you nothing and your
community is benefited. Our craft
has no talent for displaying superna-
tural phenomena.
An exchange says the man who
thinks marriage is a failure is COM
mended to do his own cooking for a
few weeks. Most men can spank
baby all right, dig potatoes enough
for meal, milk COW, build fire in
the kitchen stove in self defense. or
do many other little errands now and
then, but when it comes to eating his
own cooking for any considerable
length of time, the best way to tire OF
it is to try it. Every man who has
tried the experiment will paste this
item in his hat.
One Prize and One Diploma for Chanute.
Tho fret animal convention Of the |