davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Press., 1895-11-21
Fond of Show.

The men of Portugal are as fond of show as are the women Their fingers are nearly always loaded with rings, and about their bodies, which are often as round as the bowls of their tobacco pipes, hang chains as thick as ropes, from which are suspended punches of trinkets.
 The Portuguese dandy is very fond of anything that will attract public atten- tion to his much esteemed person, Above his snowy vest he wears a cravat of gleaming colors, while i'll his buttOnhOle is stuck d full blown rose of inordinate size. l tL.L... l 2.4 pretty right in saying that most of the promenade E l have seen strutting about i'll the cEief thor oughfarcs on Sunday with a riding whip in their hands and handsome spurs on their heels, have never set foot i'll stirrup.
 The spur to them is a sort of sign of nobility, which they arrOgate to them selves, relic of the privileges of the old chivalry I have noticed that a good many state officials work ill spurs, as if about to do battle, and when these knights of the quill, these ficados with silk braces, peacefully render up their souls, I have no doubt that their spurs will be laid upon their tombs. s.-BostOn Traveller
 Mrs. WIZ Meek, who resides at Camp tonville, Cal, says her daughter was fol several years troubled at times with se- were cramps in the stomach and would be in such agony that it was necessary to call in physician. Having read about Chamberlain's Collie, Cholera and Diar- rhGa Remedy, she concluded to try it. She found that it always gave prompt re- lief. It was seldom necessary to give the second dose. "It has not only saved us lots of worry and time," she says, "but also doctors bills. It is my opinion that every family should have a bottle of this remedy in the house." For sale by w. w. Lathrop, Stafford Springs; c. L. Phillips, South Coventry.
 If people could only look into the homes, how different would their esti- mates of one another be.
 A. c. Bartley, of Magic, Pa, writes 1 feel it duty of mine to inform you and the public that De Witt's Witch Hazel Salve cured me of very bad case of ec- zema. It also cured my boy of a running sore on his leg. w. D. Heald, Stafford Springs; G. l.. Phillips, South Coventry.
 Fond Mother-My darling, it is bed time All the little chickens have gone to bed. Little Philosopher mann. ma, and so has the old hen.
 Ayers Hygienic Coffee is the only drink that contains all the elements one's sys- tenn requires. Grocers sell it.
 There are many good reasons why you should use One Minute Cough Cure There are no reasons why you should not, ii in need of help. The only harmless rem edy that produces immediate results w. D. Heald, Stafford Springs; c. L. Phillips, South Coventry.
 Every baby is the sweetest baby in the world. You were once considered the sweetest thing in the world, although you may not look it now.
The Press., 1895-11-21
For sewer gas, use chloride of lime.

Its just as easy to try One Minute Cough Cure as anything else. Its easier to cure severe cough or cold with it. Let your next purchase for a cough be One Minute Cough Cure. Better medi- cine; better results; better try it. w. D. Heald, Stafford Springs; G. L. Phil lips, South Coventry.
The Press., 1895-11-21
Deafness Cannot be Cured

by local applications, as they cannot reach the diseased portion Of the ear. There is only one way to cure Deafness, and that is by constitu- ttonal remedies. Deafness is caused by an in- famed cond1t1on Of the mucous 1fhingo Of the Eustachian Tube. When this tube gets in- famed you have a rumbling sound or imperfect hearing, and when it is entirely closed Deafness is the result, and unless the inflammation can be be taken out and, this tube restored to it's normal condition, heanng wf11 be deStr0yed for eyer; nine cases out of ten are caused by .caA tarrh, which is nothing but ah fhnamed eOndt- t1on of the mucous surfaces tt @.ss{ ..5. s-
 We will give One Hundred Dollars for any case Of Deafness (caused by ScataTrh) that can not be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure. Send for circulars, free. s;'
 ...-. Ed. CHENEY < CO, Toledo, O.,
 e%s0ld by Druggists, 7Sc. .
The Press., 1895-11-21

Say, why don't you try De Witt's Little Early Risers? These little pills cure headache, indigestion and constipation They're small, but do the work. w. D. Heald, Stafford Springs; G. L. Phillips South Coventry.
The Press., 1895-11-21

It is a truth in medicine that the small est dose that performs a cure is the best De Witts Little Early Risers are the smallest pills, will perform a cure, ant are the best W.D. Heald, ,Staf'rd Springs c. l.. Phillins, South Coventry.
The Press., 1895-11-21
LOOK UP.

Whats the use of doubtin9 Whats the good of fearsG Whats the good of cryinr Whats the good of tearsG Whats the good of sunshine Elf yer goin to nope In the shade and lose the Sheer you've got in hopef
 Detroit Free PreGA
The Press., 1895-11-21

TT GIVES WARNXNVs that tn4re's trouble aheaa If you're getting thin. It shows that yoT baoed is impoverished, and your organs deranged, so that whatever you eat fails UO properly nodrish you. And just as long a4 JoH remain in this condition, Consumption, Pneumonia, and other ScrofuloUs and dangerous diseases are likely to fasten upon you
 You should buiiG your self up with Dr. PiercS's Golden Medical Discovery,
The Press., 1895-11-21

It isn't always the greatest talker tha says the most.
The Press., 1895-11-21

4 P. BRADWAY, Dealer in Grain \ and Feed, Fertilizers, Agricultural Tools. Agent for the No. 76 Swivel Flow. Cutaway and Solid Wheel HarTOWS. Stewards Celebrated Paints for OutbutIdings, elsO a High Grade Paint for Dwellings. All goods sold at bottom prices. | West Stafford. If
The Press., 1895-11-21

A journal at Madrid, Spain, tries to in, crease it's circulation by printing it's news not on paper, but on cloth. Instead oi ink, composition is used which readily a square of white cloth.
The Press., 1895-11-21

Teacher Sammy, in the sentence I have a book what is the case of the pro- noun 'P?" Sammy (promptly)-"Nomi- native case" Teacher-"N boy, tell me in what case to put the noun book. '' Next boy (thoughtfully) -"Bookcase."
The Press., 1895-11-21

A tired stomach is very much like a sprained ankle, If you suffer from any of the symptoms of dyspepsia, your stom- ach is tired. It needs a crutch. We must relieve it of all work for time, or until it is restored to it's natural strength. To do this successfully, we must use a food which is already digested outside of the body, and which will aid the diges- tion of other foods that may be taken with it. Such a product is the Shaker Digestive Cordial
 The Shakers have utilized the digestive principles present in plants for the manu- fracture of this article, and it's success has been truly phenomenal. You can try it for the nominal sum of 10 cents, as sam pie bottles are sold by all druggists at this price.
The Press., 1895-11-21

Acts at once, never fails. One Minute Cough Cure. A remedy for astt1z&a, >and that feversh condition which aeeeAnpa- nies a severe cold. The only harmless remedy that produces immediate results w. D. Heald, Stafford Springs; G. L.. Phillips, South Coventry.
The Press., 1895-11-21

blood, rouse every organ into natural aa. tion, and build up healthy, wholesome. necessary flesh. Ooea,, po,t N
 DR. R. V. PIERCE: Dedr Str-We have upe 6 your e. MD" in our family and find notring else to equal it. One of our children had the pneumonia and one lung become cOnsoM> dated, but by tl.o-use of the "OiscC "erC" she has entirely recovered, and is DOW in good health.
The Press., 1895-11-21
DIRECTIONS
 for using Cream Balm

Apply a particle o the Balm well up in to the nOStrilS. Af ter a moment draw strong breath thrO the nose. Use three times a day, afte. meals preferred, an( before retiring.
The Press., 1895-11-21
At Budapest.

Budapest has for me an invincible attraction, and when on the morrow-a warm, bright day-I was at last permit ted to install myself ill the shade high up on ono of the balconies of the Hotel Hungaria, overlooking the Danube, I experienced one of the most agreeable sensations that recall. Here the ample breadth of the stream diminishes the force of the current, and the Danube passes majestically under the two i'm posing bridges, which hide its course where it bends far below beyond the town with the dimensions and the ap- pearance of a stream opening out into the sea. Ill front frowns the ancient and lofty fortress of Buda, which formerly held Hungary abject and trembling un- der it's cannon, and the burg, formerly imperial, where watched the implacable eye of the cOnquerOr. Both fortress and burg, however, arc to disappear forever.
 A new royal chateau is going up near by, which will take the place of the old yellow barracks, which serve now as a dwelling for the king of Hungary in this capital, finally recovered from the age long domination of Austria. Below the life of the river is unceasing, and the whole warm, brilliant, animated picture is most enlivening. Budapest the very word names an idea which is big with the future. It is synonymous with restored liberty, unfolding now at each forward step; it is the future open ing up before a growing people. Whole districts of the capital will one day be rebuilt and reappear under fresh as pect, and this immense meeting point between the east and the west adds daily to it's power and it's attractions. - Nineteenth Century.
The Press., 1895-11-21

LAxOL Is the best medicine for child ren. Doctors recommend it in place of Castor Oil.
The Press., 1895-11-21

ELY'S CREAM BALM opens and CleanSes the Nasal Passages, Allays Pain and h. fammattOn, Heals the Sores, Protects the Membrane from
The Press., 1895-11-21

Ayers Hygienic Coffee is the only drink that contains all the elements one's sys- tenn requires. Grocers sell it.
The Press., 1895-11-21

Fond Mother-My darling, it is bed time All the little chickens have gone to bed. Little Philosopher-Yes, mann. ma, and so has the old hen.
The Press., 1895-11-21

If people could only look into the homes, how different would their esti- mates of one another be.
The Press., 1895-11-21

A. c. Bartley, of Magic, Pa., writes |: feel it a duty of mine to inform you and sore on his leg. w. D. Heald, Stafford Springs; G. L. Phillips, South Coventry.
The Press., 1895-11-21

There are many good reasons why you should use One Minute Cough Cure. There are no reasons why you should not, if in need of help. The only harmless rem edy that produces immediate results. w. D. Heald, Stafford Springs; c. L. PhilIiDc SOOfh COunntrv
The Press., 1895-11-21
NO MORE RHEUMATISM
Sheriff Howe Cured of Rheumatsn by Dr. Greene's

aREENs
The Press., 1895-11-21

"Then, flying back to my rooms, slipped on some clothing, put my watch and money in my pocket, and ran to my front room for my jewel casket. put my hand in the safe in the wall, but the casket was not therel Across the room was another and similar safe, and, hurrying across, I was about to move the picture from in front of it when a fireman rushed in, shouting
The Press., 1895-11-21

"Good day. .Oh,, something else! Here's a letter I brought up for you from your hotel It's from lady, post marked New Haven. Scented She c6aldn't have ~Rnown you were here when she wrote, Look l. MT. Jack Con- nor. A friend probably. I'm going mp
 "On1yothatitts fortunate for you I'm
 "Capitali" soli1oqGdii;zsed MT. .Martinot oh1 thB train. ''' He fSldH his tongue be- cause this cWpmaii' s zih thu soraDe. I'll have to put 8; little personal, in tomor- row's Planet from her. Then I'll come
The morning times., 1895-10-13
JOLLY JINGLE.

Mr.. Easy Rider-Me only regret is dat
de bizzy freight agent wot give ME de
job recanin' dis easy chair didn't pay ME
fer it In advance.-Judge.
Hoax-Why do you call your hunting dog
Indian?
Joax-Because he's always on the scent.
-Philadelphia Record.
He, delighted with new play-Isn't it
grand?
she-Perfectly lovely! II must have
been made by Worth.-New York Weekly.
Halo, Jasnun, where are you living
now?"
with my wife, of course
And where is your wife liyiDg?'
''Oh-er-why-with her father. Gin
cinnati Enquirer.
Richard-Wonder if We can get drink
at this place?
william-Don't know We can find out
by going in. l suppose.
Richard-Thanks, don't care if do
Boston Transcript.
speculator-Is there any money in in
ventions?
Manufacturer-Not as much as there used
to be. The inventors are getting so smart
now that they actually demand q share
of the profits.-Brooklyn Eagle.
Artist-There, sir, Is my latest picture.
Ingenious FrieDd-Weil, you haven't
The morning times., 1895-10-13

POKER ANDJURIsPRUDENCE.
Chief Justice Beatty Says 1t Is Not a
Gambling Game.

Chief Justice Beatty Says 1t Is Not a
Gambling Game.
Chief Justice Beatty, of the California
supreme court, has decided that In the eyes
of the law poker is not game that
comes under the head of gambling.
This decision. says the Los Angeles Her
aid. is the result of an application for a
writ of habeas corpus made by Julius Meyer,
who was held to answer on a charge of
perjury. Meyer was juror in the Paulsell
case in San Francisco, and when examined
as q talesman swore that he knew nothing
with regard to gambling games. Paulsel
was on trial In the superior court on u
charge of robbing the proprietors of a
faro bank. Meyer was asked by the counsel
for the defendant:
'Do you know a man named Carroll or
Ross or Webber, the men who were proprie-
tors of the gambling house at 620 Market
street,"
To which he answered:
.'No, sir; have nothing to do with such
places"
The charge is that the latter part of this
answer is false; that the prisoner did have
something to do with "such places"
After the trial 1t was discovered that
Meyer was a constant visitor at certain
poker establishments, and was employed to
help along the game by taking hand in
The morning times., 1895-10-13

order to revive interest. On this informa-
tion the district attorney made out COM
plant in which he9eIfarged him with per
jury. ~
Judge Murphy, before whom the case
was tried, found the ex-juror guilty, but
later Chief Justice Beatty rendered his
decision. In his opinion he said:
Poker playing for money, however OBJ
jectionable in fact, is in the eyes of the law
as innocent as chess or any game played
for recreation, and its votaries and the
places where it is played are not criminal.
There is no consistency, therefore, be-
tween the declaration of petitioner that he
had nothing to do with such places as a
faro bank and the fact that he did fire.
quent clubrooms where poker was played
for money. And since there is neither evil
dence nor accusation of any other false
statement made by himA it follows that he
cannot be held for perjury and must be dis
charged from custody
Much comHent has been caused by this
action on the part of the justice, and some
of 1T is of an adverse nature.
The morning times., 1895-10-13
1t Set Him Thinking.

81 want to thank you, DOCTOR" said Mr.
Cawker 70 Rev. DR.. Thirdly, "for that ad-
mirable sermon on the higher criticism"
II am very glad you liked it," replied
the minister. modestly, but much gratified.
Yes, doctor, l like to hear discourses
which make their hearers think. instead OF
sermons which go in at one ear and oat OF
the other"
Il ike to have attentive and thoughtful
hearers. and it gives me great pleasure to
hear Won say that it made you think, Mr..
Cawker." added the minister.
'WelI. can honestly say that it did, doc
tor BY the way, there is one question I
wanted to ask about that sermon"
"Go on, Mr.. Cawker."
(which side of the question do you
fayor?r-New York Sun.
The morning times., 1895-10-13
al! SIS III
have fine one now" "Oh, I've lust
broken that."-FIiegende Blaetter.

have fine one now" "Oh, I've lust
broken that."-Fliegende Blaetter.
Did you ever hear the ocean moaning,
Ever moaning, sad and low?.
'Tis because that fat old bather
Stepped upon its undertow.
university Herald.
Customer-Can't you wait upon me?
I've been here for nearly an hour. Two
pounds of liver, please. Butcher-Sorry,
but there's three or four ahead of you.
Surely, you don't want your liver out of
order.-Boston Herald.
Wiggles-I hear Bienks has been very
III. is he out of danger yet? Waggles-
Well, he's convalescent; but he won't be
out of danger until that pretty nurse who
has been taking care of him has gone
away.-SomervilleJ Journal.
''Wbat do you think of this previous ex-
istence theory?'' Il know it is to be sup
ported by facts. For instance, know "a
woman only twenty-seven years old who
thoughtlessly tells about things that hap
pened thirty-five years ago."-Indianapoli
journal.
The morning times., 1895-10-13
QUEER SHAMPOO.
Joe, the Whiskbroom Boy, Got His II
Sfrucfions Rather Alixasd

Joe, the WhiskbroOm Boy, Got His III
structiOns Rather Mixed.
In one of the hotel barber shops small
Italian boy named Joe officiates with the
whisk broom. The other day. says the Buff
falo Express, the hotel housekeepcr sent
down to the proprietor of the shop and asked
him to fix her up bottle of shampoo. He
fixed it and told Joe to take it up to the
housekeeper.
"You tell her." said the barber, ''to take
half a teacup of the shampoo and put it in
two teacups of water and apply"
Joe took the shampoo and went up to the
housekeeper with it. In short time he
came back, and the barber asked: 'Give it
TO her all right?"
Yes" said Joe.
with the directioHs?"
YES" said Joe, again.
Half an hour later the barber noticed the
housekeeper out in the hal looking curious
ly into the shop. He walked out to where
she was.
Hello" she said. (which is it? Are you
drunk, or crazy"
what do you mean" asked the barber
with much dignity.
"You must be one or the other, Judging
The morning times., 1895-10-13
IT WAS A PEACEFUL TOWN.
But 1t Was Well to Keep Out of the
Reach of Playful Shooters.

Reach OF Playful Shooters.
As sat on the veran a OF the village
tavern and looked about me thought IL
one of the most peaceful towns 1 ever saw
and said as much to the justice of the
peace who occupied a chair beside me.
Yes, purity peaceful, but he replied
as his right hand went slowly back to
his pistol pocket.
'.But WHAT" l asked.
'But yo' don't want TO mix In when it
comes off. Yo'r, best way will be.to ge
through that door and up stairs, and don't
come down as long as you hear any
shootin'."
But don't understand, judge. Is there
to be any shooting around here?"
"Sartin to bei'
"Whcn?"
Purity quick, reckon"
"But what about?"
wall" he drawled, as he pointed down
the street, "d'ye see that onery hawg wal.
lerin in the mud down thar"
Yes / see a hog"
'He belongs to Sam Patterson, the COOP
er, and Sam feels mighty tender to-ards
that hawg since his wife died. Now,
then, dye see that pesky dawg up the
street by that shade tree?'
YES, | see him."
"He belongs to Joe Stivers. the harness
maker; and Joe thinks SO much of him that
he makes his children sleep on the floh that
the dawg may have a feather bed all to his
self In about five minutes that pesky
dawg win see that onery hawg and thar'n
be row.
'.The dog win pitch into the hog, you
mean"
"sartin to-"
"And then"
"And then Sam Patterson viii pitch inter
the dawg, and Joe Stivers Will pitch inter
Sam Patterson, and the fust thing yo'
know the hun town will be pitehin' inter
each other, As 1 Eaid befo', yo'd better
keep yo'r eyes on that doah onlesss yo'
want to mix in
but Judge, why should little scrap
betw cen a dog and hog lead to"
Thar goes the pesky daTg,' exclaimed
the Judge, as he sprang up and started
down the steps, drawing his pistol as be
went
made for the door and the stairway and
reached my room. The shooting opened
lively and was well sustained for about
ten minutes When it appeared to be oyerI
descended to the veranda The judge was
just coming up the steps from the street.
lie had his hat in his hand, and there was
blood On his cheek where bullet had
grazed it.
wall, it's all over till next timer he
remarked, as he sat down and examined
his pistol to see how many cartridges were
left in the cylinder.
Anybody kined?- I asked.
Zone or two, l reckon, and three or four
hurt. but it don't begin to be as lively as
usual. Tie pesky dawg was shot, however,
and now Joe Stivers viii be layin fur sam
Patterson every day in the year, and thar II
be no end of public enthoosiasml"
FrceP ress.
The morning times., 1895-10-13
A GROUP OF LITTLE CHAPS.

The politician who wrote an open Letter
wishes now that he had kept 1t closed
Texas Siftings.
Cows are now MIXED by machinery
Milk is aduiterated by hand, as usual
Texas Siftings.
"I went shooting yesterday" "Wbat,
has the game law expired?" "Oh, yes;
nothing else did, though. Rec
ord.
The st. Louis girl wrote: "Don't phale
to he thar" Her Kansas City beau re-
piled: 81 will be thar; there's no such
word as phale."-Inter-Ocean
Laura-George, look at that dog! VIII
he bite? George-Bite? If he's a dog of
any Judgment, Laura, he'll try to eat you!
Get out, you brute!-Chicago Tribune.
Mrs. Sweet-Do you find 1t economical to
do your own cooking? Mrs. Burnem-Oh,
yes; my husband doesn't eat half as much
as when we had cook.-Yonkers States
man.
"Never," began the philosophical drum
mer, 4'never marry a woman with a
square, protruding chin" II never do"
said the drummer from Chlcago.-Indian-
apols Journal.
Papa, l know what I'm going to buy
for your next birthday" well, what?''
"a nice painted shaving mug" But
The morning times., 1895-10-13
whv He Didn't Catch Fish.

A miner in the North of England went to
fish one day. He had no rod. so he let out
his line and seated himself on tn e side OF the
dock Now lie was very stout and was
afraid TO look down at his line for fear Of
overbalancing himself, SO he kept fishing
away for over two hours without success
when some men CAME along in boat
ANY bites?" asked one of the men.
mo" answered the miner, mot yet"
Nor" replied the boatnlan. laughing.
"you won't get any till you let your line
down farther. or the fishes get step-ladder
to climb up to your hook"
He had been fishing all the time with hi.
line about a yard out of the water.-Pier
sons Weekly.
The morning times., 1895-10-13
The Right TbinratJss.

Ex-Gov, Roberts, of Texas, is a queer
character. Recently he was called upon TO
Gellver an address to the inmates of the
State penitentiary. The Governor CON
sented, and after reviewing his audience
for few minutes began:
'Gentieme6-'
But no." he hesitated "you are not
gentlemen Of YOU would not be here"
he paused for another moment.
''Fellow citizens, then"
He stopped again.
NO; you are not citizens. either"
The Governor grew impatient for want of
something to say.
Wen, " he began again, ait doesn't mat
ter what you are. I'm id glad to see so
many OF you here. New York Journal.
The morning times., 1895-10-13
The Logical Conclusion.

He was leaning dejectedly against lamp
post, contemplating immensities, when ac-
cidentally brushed against him.
Look out!" he exclaimed. Don't you
dare disturb me-
why not?" l asked. turning as recog-
nized his voice.
"a Cause I'm the shenter OF the unicorn
no, 1 mean unv versh," he explained,
thickly.
How did you find it out?" asked, ad-
miring his egotism.
Go way, foolish man, before you pre-
presshipitate Chaos" he expostulated.
First tell me e.how You know you're the
,eater of the universe" / insisted.
'.Ain't everything revolving around me?'
he demanded, indignantly.-New York
Truth.
The morning times., 1895-10-13
The eLong-Distance Telepbone.

ht S-DlSIhDce Telephone.
Hello, CentraE"
What number, please?"
connect me with the City of Mexico,
wish to speak to President Diaz."
Hello! Who wants the President of
the Mexican RepubIic?"
''Is that President Diaz?"
Yes"
This is President Cleveland"
AM Good morning, Mr.. Cleveland.
Glad to see you at long range Anything |
can do for you?"
MT. Diaz, I want to ask how many
Mexico?" 0-
"WelI'r began in 1884, and have been 1t
1t ever SINCE
Then you are in your fourth term now?''
'Yesi"
Great Scott When You have time. Mr..
President, wish you would write and tell
me how you worked it, That is all. Good.
byi''
Good by!"-Pittsburg Chronicle -Tele-
graph.