Democratic Northwest and Henry County news. [volume] (Napoleon, O. [Ohio]) 1894-1905, 1895-08-08
she WAS CRITICAL
A Hemlock Belt Lady on Her Way ts
Susan Ann Pettiboneh.

Twas driving along the mountain road
leading from Toms Two Bridges 10 Hef-
Inns Drop In the hemlock belt one day and
was approaching q rather neat looking
house ON a small clearing at the side Of the
road, when a woman came running out OF
the house toward the road, waving blue,
baggy umbrella, tied with a white string.
She carried in her other hand an old fash
ioned carpetbag Of red and yellow pat
tern. She waved tho umbrella as II 1 wers
an approaching train that she was signal
ing against danger ahead. stopped at the
signal. The woman was sharp featured
and elderly.
"Be ye goin ez fur ez the Dropf" she
asked.
said was.
"No furderY" she inquired.
That was as far as was going.
"Couldn't ye make 1t handy to squirt on
a couple o. miled furder to my darter Su-
san Ann Pettibone'sH" the woman asked.
1 said was sorry, but couldn't go any
farther than Hcflin's Drop that day.
"That's kind O. tryin," my interroga-
tor said, looking disappointed. "But ]
s'pose kin walk them two miled, though
I hadn't orrer be asst to at my time o. life.
Well, never mind. Jist cramp your wheel,
sonny, an I'll git in an jog with ye ez fur
ez the Drop. Two miled furder, though,
wouldn't be much of squirt fer your hoss,
an the two miled back to the Drop wouldn't
hurt him. 1 guess ye kin stick this here
carpetbag right in front o. ye, there. Be
keerful on it, though, fer tha's can O.
p'served peaches, an a can o. termattuses,
an a can o. p'eserved ounces in that air
bag ez I'm takin to my darter, Susan Ann
Pettibone, an If they git broke I'll hef to
asst ye to pay fer 'em. Jist hold my UNI
b'rel whilo climb inter your wagon, SON
ny.
"Therel guess I'm in, but amt
sure. never see setch an onhandy wagon
to git interl It's enough to stretch the
hind legs of q kangaroo to climb inter it
Hope 1 didn't git no tar on this bomba-
zine dress o. minel Seems To me jist ez II
did! Don't see none, though. Now,
sonny, jist put your legs over that carpet
bag SOS 1t won't fall outen this onhandy
inter, but seems to me ez If 1t was the
handiest kind of wagon fer a carpetbag
to fall out Of But don't squeeze down ON
the bag, fer mebbe ye mowt break some O.
them cans O. reserves that's in 1t, an I'd
hef to asst ye to pay fer 'em. Now guess
I'm all fixed, sonny, an ye kin drive ahead.
I'd be obleeged If yed kind O. squirt your
hoss leetle, too, cause I'm on pins an
needles to git to my darter Susan Ann
Pettibone's an can't hardly wait. I better
take that umb'rel, guess. I'm afeerd ye
mowt let it fall outen the wagon. I've
had that umb'rel more'n 80 year an set a
powerful store by 1t. There. Git ap, now,
sonny"
All this hadn't taken up more than Is
seconds Of time, but 1t was long enough
for this remarkable woman to practically
gain possession Of me and my wagon, for
all the time she was talking she was act
ing, and when she told me that might
"git ap" found myself squeezed into one
corner Of my buggy seat, with my legs
thrown over the big carpetbag, and the
owner Of the bag and her umbrella occupy
ing the rest of the establishment. But
Hefin's Drop was only five miles farther
on, and "spurted" my horse SO that I
might got the agony over as soon as posi-
BILE. We hadn't gone more than quarter
Of q mile when my passenger turned her
sharp face suddenly toward me and looked
me over suspiciously. At last she said:
''Lightnin rods?"
She evidently noticed that was puzzled,
for she supplemented her question with
this one:
81 mean be ye peddlin of 'emp"
"Oh, no!' replied.
"Sure?" she said, eying me dubiously
said I was quite sure.
swell, mebbe ye amt" she said, shak-
ing her head, "but you'm jist the same
size an build of feller that nosed around
through here last year, putin up lightnin
rods, an his receipts fer the money come
back ez Judgment notes that'd take the
shirt often O mans backl Jist the same
size an build e'zac'ly, but mebbe ye amt
him. I'm speotin to see this hoss O.
yourn balk ev'ry minute! If he does, III
hef to dillydally, an my darter Susan Ann
Pettibone'll be powerful worried don't
see why folks can't drive hosses that don't
act jist ez II they was goin to balk ev'ry
minute! Patent hay forks?"
I said no. Not patent hayforks.
"Rakes?"
"No," said I.
"Young man," she said, "you don't
want to set here an tell me you're tax col
lectin?"
I said 1 didn't want to do anything Of
the sort, because wasn't tax collecting
This remarkable woman remained quiet
for few minutes and then turned on me
again.
II dunno whether to congratulate ye or
not" said she, cause 1 amt sure that
you'm the chap from the county seat that's
coming over to marry Squire Polhemus'
darter jimmy up to the Drop. Be YEP
said that was not the chap.
"Then kin congratulate YEP said this
remarkable woman esquire Polhemus
darter jimmy is the stuckuppest whipper
snapper of gal tha' is in all this spread,
an the chap from the county seat IL find
out that he hain't sot hisself down in no
butter tub when he marries that redhead
jimmy Polhemus! So you amt him? Then
1 kin congratulate vel Now. if your hoss
don't balk, We'll be at tha' Drop in ten
minutes. But I know he will! He acts
just like it, an folks seems to hev balky
hosses fer nothin else but to git me ridin
behint 'em an then maxim me dilly daily
Hev ye broke any O. them cans o. p'serves,
think?"
hadn't broken any, and the horse did
not balk, and, sure enough, in ten min
utes we were at the Drop.
"That crossroad yender to the right is
he one that runs by my darter Susan Ann
Pettibone's," said my passenger. "It don't
seem to me ez if it was wuth while fer me
to git out till git there, arter havin had
so much trouble gittin inter this onhan-
dy wagon O. yourn. Iguess ye better squirt