The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1895-02-15

tiiat the present NalnglOrious ant
somewhat u%prcarious congress 0
rural and dissatisfied statesmen ar
about to adjourn. Not that we ar
hankering to keep them in session
any longer, but because our heart
and souls are filled with dire fear a
what is to become OF Us and on
children, il that august assembly o
men is once more let loose upon tn,
country 10 seek a vindication at th'
hands of their constituents.
We read with JOY and enthusiasm
your letter, which wiped up one 0
your foremost constituents, the en-
thusiastic editor OF the humorou.
Jasper COURIER. We thank yol
very much for that letter, and We
are now willing to admit with child,
like faith that YOU have earned al
least part Of your salary. If YOU
could manage to find the sweet time
to hit the bombastic editor Of the
Huntingburg News a whack, We
would become overwhelmingly sat
isfied that you had earned all OF
your salary in its enormous entire
~, with compound interest payable
in Cleveland's brand new gold
bonds.
We thank you very much, dear
old John, for the several packages
of seeds YOU sent us in the over
whelming goodness of your heart.
We shall cherish those seeds with
much pride, and we shall hug them
to our humble bosoms until the
warm days of Spring, when we will
bury those seeds in the mother
earth composing our garden, 4 feet
by 4. We noted with some misgiv-
ings that you sent several ackages
of seeds to a few lawyers and doc
tors at Jasper, who have neither the
land whereon t. plant nor the in
dustry to cultivate them after they
are deposited in mother soil. True
It's, and pity It's. It's true, that
those doctors and lawyers have
added materially to their income by
selling their packages Of seeds to
their nearest and dearest neighbors.
But as " notice with pain, and not
without personal discomfort, that
doctors and LAWYERS always feel the
hard times the first, the money they
may have acquired from the sale Of
the seeds YOU furnished them in the
overwhelming simplicity of your
may in the future bear fruit
Or take root and help you upward
and onward on the political ladder
Of fame and fortune. Take my adj
vice now, John, and during the linn
tied and valuable time you are still
yourself at Washington, don't
send any more seeds to the lawyers.
and doctors, and preachers, and re-
tired millionaires Of Jasper. but
send the seeds to the farmers, who
will appreciate your sagacity to such
IN extent that they will swear YOU
ire the greatest statesman IF the age.
On the other hand send those
,onderous, wise. well bound. non
Illustrated, and non-dccorated books
IN statistics to the town-iolks.
will never forget you in this
old and rccord-brcaking weather.
when they arise in the morning
'hivering in their WiIson-bill taxed
light-shirts and seek to kindle a fire
With free wood, and free coal, and
rec paper, the latter furnished
hem even postage-iree by their
considerable and considerable mem
'er Of congress, that dear and beni-
icient uncle John.
But surely and trucly, John, YOU
rave done everything YOU could for
our country. Besides wiping up
brother Doane, and sending Us those
eeds, and books, and miscellaneous
YOU have stuck to your
eat in congress with a pertinacity
hat would have done honor 10 a
'ound Of glue, and you have fur
lished amusement and consolation ,
0 many Of your constituents by
and worrying the president !
a party, poor old granny !
'leveland.
Over and beyond this, except :
a bill to pay the salaries Of {
he national and international Office
FOLDERS Of the T.. $. government, in
old too we are confident. it strikes
IS. as If the present congress has /.
wisely, and grandly, and gloriouslv. !
nd sometimes uproariously failed ,
0 do anything. We have enough !
avs, and the country a well man. i
ge to get along with the old laws !.
Or a while longer. II is true, o II
the tariff bill by calling it
ne Wilson bill instead Of the Nc
linley bill. But outside Of that L.,
your constituents fail to ]
Sc to the occasion and to notice =
ny other change worth noticing. !,
gu sit there now like n lot of !"