Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1895-05-04
TOLD ABOUT TOWN.
A Smooth Young Mans Serious
Predicament.
RECEIVES THE HUSBANDS LETTER.


Two CSmmunicaeions. Hubby Getting
Her FsBsnd's-An Awkward Cyclist-Con-
soied Himself By walking.
A young gentleman employed by
ore of our real estate dealers is I'M
dcrgoing a siege of uneasiness, made
doubly serious by the painful sus-
pense which he is subjected to
whether the husband of his lady
friend will take satisfaction out of
him for a little incident in which he
is implicated, or whether she will be
held responsible for explanations.
He has a weird and confused express
sion in his countenance. and has q
hard time to temporarily erase the
matter from his memory. Every
time the thought of meeting that
husband comes over him, the per-
SEPARATION on his brow becomes chilled
into icicles.
He is what might be termed a
smooth fellow, especially SO as re-
CARDS his maueuvers with the tender
sex, and would not have teen
trapped on this occasion but for
blunder Of the second or gcntler
party. One in his position natur-
ally becomes acquainted more or
less. In some manner he struck up
fiji tation with this lady whose hus-
band is a travelling salesman. This ne
cessitates the latter's absence
at different intervals. These circum-
| stances assisted the young man in
cultivatiug quite a friendship with
the woman during her times of
loneliness. Recently she left the
| city on a visit. Her affections for
the bookkeeper contained a sparkle
of warmth. but no greater than that
" hich he entertained for her. Both
promised to keep up their aImirs-
| ton by correspondence. Daring her
| stay the husband was out Oh one of
his prolonged trips. and she also
| carried on q letter comm unicatiOn
! with him.
In the course OF n few days the
| young man received a missive adj
dressed in the handwriting Of his
dear lady friend. Opening it he was
| dunn bounded to discover at the
headline, "My Darling Husband ="
His hair tecame la ponpadour.
Illus band-" That surely did not
mean him. There must be some
mistake. Reading further, the let
| ter rehearsed family matters entirely
foreign to him. Scanning the last
sheet he found the epistle was signed
..Your wife," etc. it was unueces-
sary to ponder. He realized at once
where the difficulty was-he was in
q beautiful mess, and all on account
of her carelessness. She had ad-
dressed the wrong letter to him, and
the one containing the sugar-coated
and chin-tickling language was re-
ceived by the husband. This was a
natural conjecture, assuredly it
couldn't be possible that he hadn't
gotten it. No-and what would
he say? What would he do? Here
was a pretty state of affairs. The
young man has been shivering with
fear since. in anticipation of disas-
trous termination. If he comes to
his place of business with his physi-
ognomy bandaged with applications
| to heal the infections of an avenged
hubby, it will create little surprise to
| those familiar with the circumstances
| of his predicament.
wheeiy Awkwardness.
Speaking of awkward bicycle rid
| ers, there is an individual connected
| with one of our railroad companies
| whose ridiculous performances are
| sufficient to cause the average minded
person happening to witness his
appearance perched astride of an
| instrument to SILVER at the thought
of ever attempting to master a
wheel. An occurrence, although
happening some time ago, is illustra-
tive of his awkwardness and en-
firms beyond a doubt the theory ad-
vanced BY different parties that his in
tellectuality, emanates by means of a
circular process stationed within his
knowledgebox, and when he strad-
dies a bicycle the two revolution
airy bodies conflict, thereby caus
ing disorder in his manner Of car
riage and guiding propensities.
He was coming down street run
L iutO luc SuOuIpS "uCh NC w.
served q COW in the distance. The
animal would pause occasionally to
lasso q pestiferuos fly. not paying
any attention to the approaching
| burlesque. With head downward, as
though keeping tab on the wheels
revolutions. with his heels on the
pedals, aud his pedal extremities fol-
| lowing each other in a bow-shaped
manner. he neared the quardruped,
his wheel wigglirg in ali directions.
The COW, manperly-like, turned to
the right. With the gracefulness OF a
wooden man, he tried to steer to the
opposite side. but couldn't do it.
The COW stopped to let him pass. but
it was useless, and there was q col
lision. with apologies coming to the
| COW. The animal caught its foot
between the spokes of the wheel.
which paused abruptly. landing its
| cargo onto the pavement with s
heavy thud. The animal extricated
| its foot and proceeded on its way.