St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1895-12-21
SOME PLAIN FIGURES.

4 Waste of Foed lsrolsee that Neads Oaly
70 He Uadersto0A to De Appreciated.
A spare. nervous.looking man, ar.
rsyed In . rusty suit Of black and
carrying small valise in his hand.
went into one of the leading hotels and
addressed himself to the clerk.
II sec you use raw potato rs pen
wiper" he observed.
"Yes, replied the hotel clerk, who
happened to be atleisure and in mood
to be gracious. ''It IL rs good as any
thing else, and keeps the pen from cor
rodinR."
Have you ever madeean estimate, !"
asked the stranger, leaning forward
and speaking in . confidential tone,
''of the probable effect Of the general
adoption of the potato - . pen-wiper,
or rather . pen-sticker~
81 don't think I have, said the clerk.
1T is worth your while. sir, |" "rejoined
the man In black, speaking earnestly
and hurriedly.
"T here are in this town to-day prob
ably not less than two hundred hotels
that habitually use potatoes to stick
their pens in. Each one takes fresh
potato every morning. That uses up
two hundred potatoes . day. In .
bushel there are about one hundred
potatoes Of tho size OF this one you
are using. That makes two bushels .
day. or seven hundred and thirty
bushels . year. Do you begin to
SEQ
SSMu t~S>~A
"Wait . moment That Is merely
the beginning. I have spoken only
Of the hotels The use of the
potato ~ . pen-sticlker is grow
ing constantly. 1t 10 spreading to
mercantile establishments. Imagine
what will be the consequences when
the hotels, and stores. and Offices of
this town use up one hundred thou
sand selected potatoes every day!
Think of it! The enormous total of
thirty million Ave hundred thousand
potatoes, or three hundred and sixty
five thousand bushels in one year. in
Chicago alonel And every blamed po-
tato gone to waste! A potato. sir. is
no good when it is stuck full of ink.
It is rendered absolutely valueless.
Imagine, If you can"
''Say. are you"
mo. sir, am not Mayor Pingree in
disguise am not = potato enthusiast
am . plain citizen with head for
figures and the figures to show for it.
With . view Of doing what one man
can do to prevent = custom thought
lessly and inadvertently adopted from
becoming = national calamity" he pro-
ceeded, opening his valise. II have in
vented little arrangement Of wood.
and tissue paper. call It the
Comprehensive pen-wiper. It is. rs
you see. very much moro ornamental
than potato 1t is cheaper. 1t in
wolves no waste of . useful food prod
uct Renewed once a week, it will last
, year. at . total expense Of"
Il don't want it"
"At total expense. was about to
say"
Il don't care what the expense il I
don't want it."
"You don't, hey7"
mo. I wouldn't have . car load Of
them as gift"
'Ob. you wouldn't! You don't care
how soon there comes . shortage in
The potato crop and the price runs up
TO ten dollars . bushel! That's the
sort OF man you are. is it? You're will
ing to gc ahead and plunge the coun-
Try into 3 potato famine. arc you?
Rather than spend twenty-five cents
Tor . useful invention you'd sec the
whole darned country starve. would
vou? A man. sir. that will stand right
up in the face of facts and statistics-|
| man that can't be reached by figures
Ind doesn't care for fgures-is . man,
Iir, that would have committed the
rhine Of 1873 il he'd had the chsnce.
That's all. sir"
He put the comprehensive pen-wiperl
oack in his valise, shut the latter with
! loud snap. and with look of l0rdly
corn strobe away.-Chicago Tribune