The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-05-30
CONVERSATION FOR ONE.

R0Oplo VINO never Hear the 1SSnAIAS
of Others.
Human talk is of two kinds-conver-
satiOn and nonologue. You may be
excellent as a monologist and very
poor at conversation; you may be cap
ita1 at conversation and repartee, but
quite incapable of a sustained effort.
The difference between tallzer and a
conversationalist is something anala-
gOus to the distinction between a fine
set Grafton and a brisk debate. Some
of the finest orators have been but
poor debaters. What would become of
some most eloquent sermons were the
preacher obliged to conduct a debate
over his own rhetoric at the end?
shudder to think. Few clergymen,
but most barristers, are good at de-
bate.
But whether you monologue or con-
verse, one thing is indispensab le-a
sympathetic, receptive, harmonious, or
excited and emotional atmosphere.
The most valuable remarks are a little
impertinent when they are not want
ed. He who has not the ear of his
audience may dispense his wit and
wisdom in vain. He who would be
listened to best must choose or create
the psychological moment. The charm
of all social intercourse is its spOnta-
neity; but the besetting snare of char
tered takers and the old-fashioned
anecdOtists is the tendency to lead up
to their stories, and pave the way for
their opportunities.
l can tell five minutes before it
comes off where Jowles means to let
off that anecdote bout the foreigner,
which ends, as we all know, with
'''AIio friendo,' said I, for 1 had
learned a little Italian, 'come-o-to VOC
along-O with me-o to the porto;' and 1
took him by the scruf of the neck and
kicked him down STAIRS
If you have not heard the story be-
fore it is rather funny; but to see it
looming in the distance-Jowles mono
syllable and distract, his eye wander
ing when you talk. only waiting to cut
in and get the attention of the com
pany off you, who happened to be
quite entertaining about Chicago and
Stead's book - bah! it is nausea ting!
Can't the fellow carry his stale trash
elsewhere, and let you have an inning?
This leads me to observe that the
gift of listening well is almost as rare
as the gift of good talking. 1 listen to
Smithers' story about the cockroaches
Ill UnG CdD1u, because WANT MIN 10 pay
respectful attention to my tale of the
snake in the wardrobe, and may rea
sonably hope that my (apparent) atten-
ton to his yarn will be the measure of
his attention to mine. l regret to say
that this is not ALWAYS the case; for
there are people who, If they can only
discharge themselves of their own
trumpery wares, will, in the most
10
an interest in the most valuable infor-
nation you may have to offer. But
this only proves that although you
have displayed politeness without
sympathy, they are inca pable of either.
OF course, we all know that there is
d great deal of polite so-called hypoc-
risy in society-that Miss Fitzgibbon,
who receives you at the door at her sat
home is not really excited with the lit
tie speech about the azaleas in the hall,
which you made up as you assembled
the staircase. She is looking over the
banisters to see whether Maj. Me-
Slaughter is there; and while she
shippers to you, her real ear is open to
a stray remark just inside the door
a bout the same major, let drop by that
odious f1irt-the little grass widow
from Hyderabad you know.
Well, if things were always what
they seemed-or rather, if people
seemed always what they were, and
said always what they felt-it would
be sad, mad world, hardly possible to
| live in.
In the Judgment of charity, while
wishing the world better, until that
time arrives let us make allowances
| for those who affect virtue if they
have it not''-'tis kind of back-handed
tribute to the worth of virtue, anyhow;
and if our words and looks are at times
fairer than our souls. tits sort of faint
aspiration in its way, at least some
| thing to live up to.
Talleyrand says: IF you want to be
thought agreea BILE in society, you must
! often be willing to listen to things you
know very well and have often heard
! before" Nothing marks the ill-bred
man more than this-the habit of cut
ting in, finishing up peoples sentences
for them, talking through them, or
talking them down. These are ill bred
forms of self-assertion to which the
natural man is prone, but which must
be educated out of the person who
wishes to be agreeable and sought
after.-Rev II. r. Hawers, in n. Y In
dependent.
A Sensible Rule.
The secret of keeping ones wardrobe
in good condition, even with a few