Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-07-12
A BAD MEMORY.

have q shocking memory. / believe
was "born so;" anyhow l suffered good
deal at school in the process of learning
the dates of our sovcreigns since the con-
quest Even now have to think deeply
before can remember my own date AS
to my wifes birthday-well, don't pre-
tend to guess that within six months
My friends have often advised me to
study an artificial memory system. did
try one, or rather tried to try it. bought
a handbook, and by way Of making u good
start forgot to pay for it, Then forgot to
read it, and when my wife logged my
memory couldn't for tho life Of me re-
member where had left the beastly thing
So that system was a failure and | never
had the heart to try another. 4
OF course it is quite useless to trust mo
with letters for the post. l have patiently
carried important missivcs in my pockets
for weeks together and bHan heartily
abused for my pains AS IL rule, no one
dreams of asking me to do a shopping
commission, but one day, my better half
being laid up with u sprained ankle, was
sent into our town to get stock of house.
uOlu utCtSStlIltS. L was JIONlN " LNll
three similar lists in case lost or mislaid
one and 1attered myself that l should
come out of the ordeal with flying colors.
Just as 1 was starting my wife sent out
final message by the servant and as l
was too lazy to pull out all the lists and
make three notes of it tied u knot in my
handkerchief and forgot all about it.
l got through my list of purchases brave
ly then | suddenly encountered the mno-
monte knot. Did l remember what it
meant? Not bit. hadn't the faintCst
idea At first l was rather amused, then
grew angry and registered a mental oath
that l wouldn't go home without Gxocut-
ing that mysterious commission.
l returned to the George where my
horse was put up, and smoked Il pipe to
sharpen my wits. 1t was no use, SO walk
ed out and stared into all the shop win
dows, if haply the thing" might meet
my eye and cnlighten my understanding.
That plan failed.
l returned to the George and thought
over tho letters of the ulplA bet, coming
at last to the conclusion thai the article
began with NJ That was the nearest l
could get to it,
Then Jones came into the smoking room.
Zones, l said, you know what an aw-
full memory have. Well, my wife asked
me TO get her something, and can't re-
member what it was but l believe it be-
gins with NJ. wish you'd suggest some
thing"
Money" said Jones promptly.
"No; it wasn't that today, for a Won
der" I
Then Jones waxed facctious and wrote
me out list Of M's-machine guns, met
ronomes, mangles, matrimonial news, me
chanical monkeys and so on. / left him
chuckling over his own idiotic feebleness.
at wasn't a mcgatherium, was it?" he
inquired as parting shot
NO." said l, "nor meddlesome mag
pie" (
He had riled me ratherS but, after all,
he had given me a hint. l was pretty sure
of the NJ, and by consulting Il price list l
might arrive at a solution of my enigma
was prepared to swear that the "sOme-
thing" was neither medicine, nor music
nor millinery, nor mullins Including all
sorts of pastry, nor melons, as typical of
green stuff, so that my inquiries seemed
limited to groceries, hardware and butch
er's meat
wasn't quite certain about the last
item, so l went to our shop and feebly ask
ed the butcher if he thought l wanted any
meat. 1 expect he thought was certainly
in no need of drink, but he urbanely in
formed me that he had sent us out a joint
that morning. So thanked him and re-
tired hastily.
Then procured an ironmonger's cata-
I'd cd ~, Thnra
nothing at all feasible under IN" As a
last resource returned to the grocer's,
where had already made extensive pur-
chases, and asked to see his price list.
Even then couldn't spot the thing but
on the off chance of making "a lucky shot
invested heavily in macaroni, mustard
matches, marmalade, picked mushrooms
and timed milk. Then l cudgelcd my
brains till felt quite stupid and finally
gave it up as bad job. l drove home in
disgust with enough parcels of food to
victual polar expedition.
"Nellic, said the moment I got in
doors, "you sent me q message just as I
was starting'-
Eyes, and didn't you''-
"Stop moment Didn't it begin with
mp"
More or less"
"Thcre! l knew it did. But Pm very
sorry, dear, l couldn't remember what it
was. sat in the George nearly two
hours trying to think of it"
"Then ont of the house you go this in
slant! 1 particularly told you not to go
near the place, as they'd had case Of
measles there"
1t all came back to me in moment,
that was her parting injunction! She
turned me out into the garden-I felt too
crushed to resist-and insisted on my
standing in the filthy smoke of bonfire
till she thought was sufficiently disin-
fected. l wasn't allowed to kiss the chill
dren for a week.
Catch me going on any more errandsl-
New Budget.