Birmingham age-herald., 1895-07-22
KISSES AND THE LAW
LEGAL PROCEEDINGS THAT WERE
 CAUSED BY OSCILLATION.

yers and Judges, but the kisser Doesn't
 Always Sec Where the Laugh Comes Tn.
 A Lost Heir Discovered.
 The grave and dignifled members of the legal profession appear to dorivo much amusement from the subject of kisses, which comes before them most frequently fin the form of a superabundant supply of crosses in the letters of lovers, when these Rro being read-as they never were intcnd- ed to be--in court, in breach of promise eases The learned gentleman who has at the moment tho business iE hand of read ing aloud ono of these wonderful produc- lions generally pausos when he comes to the first stop in tlie gushing clfusion, whcre the enamored swain has found words too weak to express his sentiments, supplying their place with string of symbolic osculations and, with well feigned look of innocence, says there is hero gap in tho letter, which the dcfcnd- ant ''has filled in with lot of KS" re- garding the meaning of which somc broth or, more learned in these wcighty matters, may perhaps be able to enlighten him.
 This some "brother'' never fails to do, killlnR tilttt II Hc N IiSbttl iitpiiiit'--lo has, of course no personal knowledge of tho .atter (Nvinks all round)-thesc mystic signs signify kisses in the language of Gu pid. Thoreupon this mighty, tiinc hon orcd joke is greeted with the usual chorus of guffaws, and the interrupted reading proceeds.
 ,.But kisses sometimes make thoir ap- pearancc in law courts in other circum- eto,,ooe tbnuob fhav t,avnr fail to 1n rpat1a the subject of numerous legal wtticisms. Tho judge may have been in u testing humor-and yet who knows but he may have been laying down, with all due solcmnity, some fundamental principle of justice and cquity-who once asked the plaintiff, who was suing his former sweet heart for the return of the value of cer- tain articles of jewelry which he had pre- sentcd to her in the happy days of their courtship, whether he had ever kissed the young lady?" "Cortainlyl' was the reply, as was to be expected. Whcreupon the judge dismissed the action, declaring that kisses and carcsses were full legal payment for presents given in such cir cumstanccs. The obvious moral may be laid to heart without much difficulty by present giving young mon.
 It happened ono day that a pretty young widow, travelling by train fom Louisville to Nashville had taken her scat near newly married couple. The bridegroom left his wife for moment, and when he returned tho train was passing through tunnel. He took advantage of the dark ness to snatch kiss from his wife, as he suspected, but unfortunately he had made a mistake and kissed tho young widow in- stead She was highly indignant, and re- fusing to believe that it was an accident sued the young husband for 1000 as solntium to her wounded feelings and ruff fled dignity.
 There is given as an example of the le hiency of New York judges the-ease of n man who was arrested fer kissing another mans wife. The sentence passed upon the culprit was that he should thoro and then kiss his own wife, who was present in the courtroom, which, as may bo sup. posed, he gladly did.
 In British law courts it has been fre- quently brought home to offenders that it is rather an expensive amusement to kiss q lady against her will, but in Holland it appears that rather different view pre- vails in judicial circles. A young man who had assaulted a young lady in this way on the streets of a village near Utrecht was brought before the burgomastcr, who took the matter up, demanding that the offender should be fined ilorn, or, in de- fault be imprisoned for day. But the Utrecht court and finally the appeal court ats Amsterdam both dismissed tho case, tho judge declaring "that to kiss person cannot be an offense as it is in tho nature of warm mark of sympathy" This is pretty much like the Yankee judge who dismissed similar offender, remarking that the plaintiff was so tomptingly pretty that during tho trial ho had to keep him self down in his chair with both hands, he felt so much inclined to get up and kiss her himself.
 a1 A stolen kiss once brought tho culprit into possession of fortune. He was butcher in Sydney and had taken the lib- erry of kissing one of his customers, pretty girl, who resented the affront and had him prosecuted for assault. He was fined heavily by the local magistrates, and tho case was commented on freely by tho press. The publicity thus given to tho af- fair happened to arrest tho notice of a firm of solicitors in Sydney, who had been ap- pointed trustees of some property which had been left to tho man by a distant rela- tive 20 years before. They had failed to trace the heir but when his name appear cd in tho papers in connection with the case of assault they communicated with him, and he was able to establish his iden- tity. !, A certain Senor Talca of Valparaiso, however, had very different experience md paid heavily for his momentary freak of kissing lady on tho plaza without her permission. She prosecuted him, and the magistrate, as indignant as the lady, sen- teIiced him to 50 days imprisonment. This severe penalty Senor Talca considered himself justified in appealing against, but tho higher court so far from bestowing my sympathy on the offender, sentenced him. to an additional 30 days imprison- ment. Tho amusing part of tho affair is that tho higher court took 900 days to con sider the appeal, and during the whole of that time the senor had to remain in jail. { Even this, however, is outdone by tho series of tribulations undergone by man who had stolen kiss from n pretty girl. To begin with, he was brought before a magistrate and fined. Then ho was horse- whipped by the girls brother and harried Into brain feUr by his wife. The clergy man of the district referred to tho affair in q sermon and reviewed the case in print, and, finally, the caterpillars ate up every klol., if fto ,no1afnptnr'e xvbant cron