Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1895-08-20
Do11f1e11y Roasts Powers.

Some years since there was
a railroad strikein this good city
of Minneapolis, and conspicuous
among those who took the part
of the workingmen was a half
starved. clergyman by the name
of@ReV. =. g. Powers. Hewas
fierce, fanatical and abusive in
his advocacy Of the cause of the
men, having few defenders from
the professional class, and still
fewer from the clergy, took the
emaciated advocate of human
rights to their bosoms and hearts;
and. soon after when a vacancy
occurred in the Labor Bureau,
established by the Legislature,
as part Of the permanent admin
istration Of thestate government,
the reverend radical was pushed
forward by the workmen and
made commissioner of it. -
Then came a transmagri1ica-
ton which night make the an
els weep. Every time the rever-
end gentleman drew his salary
he saw with increasing clearness
that he had a "soft snap and
that his first duty was to try and
keep it. And so he cut off his
hoofs and trimmed his horns, and
softened the glare of his anar-
chistic eyes; and the hoarse bel
lowing Of the bull of Bashan died
away in the soft and gentle COO
ing of a milk-white turtle dove.
He perceived clearly which side
Of his bread was bnttered; he
recognized the fact that the La
Dor Bureau was machine to
work the workmen, in the inter-
est of the G.. 0. P. and the Plu-
tocracy; and he determined to
keep his place if active survility
could accomplish it. And so he
proceeded to cook up a lot of
garbled statistics to show that
the people Of MINNESOTA were
prominently prosperous and
happy; that there were no debts
or discomfort worth speaking of;
and THAT everything was lovely
and the goose hangs high in the
pure, upper air of serene content
ment. And all this in the face of
the census of 1890, which showed
that there we're $197, 100000 of
mortgages on real estate, in this
pleasant commonwealth, with it's
30O,0 900 voters; and in the face of
the state auditors report that
100000 people in Minnesota
paid every year $13,000,000 of
taxes, whileit would puzzle them
to say what they got in exchange
for that enormous sum.
And then when the silver ques:
tion came up the Reverend Mr..
Powers rushed into authorship,
with reply to Harvey's great
book, "Coin's Financial School. .
He called it Farmer Hayseed in
Town. "a sheer in itself, for it is
based on the idea that man
cannot be a farmer unless he has
hayseed in his hair. Mr.. Harvey
WAS of course unconscious that
this very small fee dog, with the
G.: O. P. collar on his neck, was
nibbling at his heels: and so the
reverend brother proceeded
down to Chicago, when the Horn
Harvey debate WAS going on, and
attracted national attention tc
himself by asking 'Coin'' silly
question. And now he has re
turned and is making himself
still further conspicuous by writ
ing nonsense for thenewspapers
in advocacy Of contraction and
the gold standard.
All this inspires melancholy
reflections upon the infirmities Of
human nature. If Mr.. Powers
had continued in Minneapolis:
making street-corner sermons il
behalf of the workingmen, will
his belly SO empty that you coulo
trace the vertabrae of his back
bone among his vest buttons, he
would be to-day an honest man
advocating free silver and al
abundant currency, but, as Low
81: says:
- -2ercifuiProv NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
us hollow
On purpose. that We might ou1
| principles swallow.
| And Powers was dreadfull1
hollow when Plutocracy began t.
feed him.-the pap ran down into
the very calves of his legs; and
in six months there wasn't any
thing left Of the original street
preacher except the hide.
Surely the Minnesota Labor
Bureau is a:great institution
As an appendage to the G.. O. P
it is useful; and as the means O.
making q limited number of con
verts to pernicious and damnablt
doctrines5it is superb. -
Nextyears we hope the Farmer
lAayseeds will take possession 0:
the state government, and restore
Workman Powers to his pristine
poverty: and honesty. We Ions
| to hear him once more leno11nc