The morning times., 1895-09-01
BOADERS
By the Day Week OF Month.
TERMS REASONABLE.
THE LANDLADY


She was a notaerly old lady, with gold
rmmed spectaeles and a fun stock Of en-
errv. and referred eudearinEly to the
boarders as her family. Perhaps few women
this side Of the shades OF Jerusalem could
b0asts % such a varlcgatCd and picturesque
household Old. Young, short, and tail,
slim. fat ignorant, and wise, pretty and
some rs ugly as IA mud fence struckby lght-
ming Tie king bee OF The family and
the Iaudladv-s confidential adviser, was
q DortIv old fellow from Missouri, " ho was
Known as the colonel" His pate was
as bald and shiny as an arctic iceberg
while his round and rotund region above
the waist. could easily have been mistaken
for be model from watch old Punch was
fashioned
The colonel always wore an air of I'M
porrauce. or else be assumed 81 on entering
The house. and bis fellow buarders re-
CARED him % The light OF the major dumo
of the establishment He came here ten
years ago TO secure the passage 10y Congress
of his war claim for several thousands Of
dollars He is now awaiting the coming
of the new Congress, and living in hope.
I'M fact, as the book agent expressed II
DID The parlor tie other night, ''he has been
living on hope suspicion and credit ever
since the close of the war
Tile colonel is good stOry-tciler, and
maintains q degree Of popularity in the
e street boarding house largely on that
score lie also claims to be well posted
on aH mafters-a sort OF human enCyclo-
pelia. as I'D were-and for that reason,
too. De Is COured by his fellow boarders-
in addition TO these attanmeuts be knows
all about every public man from Ananias
TO Grover Cleveland, and dabbles with the
utmost sang froid in their peculiarities
ana 'strong points" q favorite pet phrase
OF his.
The colonel and the old Virginia landlady,
touse an oId-time saw, are as thick as two
peas In q pod" and, rumor has it that he
viii soon wipe ont his big board bHl by be-
coming her better half, which viii result
IN his promotion to manager OF her estab-
Iishment.
Next to the colonel in Importance is a
tan ana scrawny old maid She wears cork
screw ringlets about her forehead and a
far-away, dreamy expression. The eX-
precision, no doubt, refers to many lost
opportunities in her blooming youth. She
IS not young any longer. The clock OF
time has t0ued at least forty yearly tolls
since her pale, blue eyes first beheld the
genial sunlight She has long been en-
poyed 30 one of the Departments in a minor
position. Being OF a thrifty disposition
she deposits nearly all OF her salary every
month I'D a savings bank.
The old maid is desperately in love with
the impeclnious book agent, q little red
headed fellow, who has TO hustle carly and
late to earn enough money TO pay his week
~ board bin he is not averfe 10 the old
maids suit. but il is The current opinion
OF the other boarders that his love current
runs more strongly in the direction Of her
pile lu the bank than it does toward her
fluttcung heart and hopeful affection.
The fact that there is a big wad Of long
greens" in the background may bring
about a wedding in the near future.
BOOK AGENT DISCOURAGED.
The book agent himself is in hard luck.
Times are duh, be Fays, and people are
notE0ing to invest iuthe Life 0fNapoleon, -
or Tales of the Sea. D." when they haven't
the money % buyrUund steak new potatoes,
OF four cent bread Consequently heis look
ingforan opportunity. and the old maid with
her bank account is The best one in sight.
He viii no doubt seize it
Next on the list OF Queers is q pale
young man, who ekes out an existence
in some precauous manner. BE occupie.
an attic room at Sl.25 per week; does not
take his meals at the house, and wears good
store clothes. This young fellow is an
opium fieud The excessive use OF this
deadly drug has dulled all his finer sensi
bliues, and he does not care for the
company OF ladies OF any form OF amuse-
meut Jhat is common To mankind in
ordinary. The opium pipe and dope"
combine 10 form the god Of his worship.
IN his attic room is a complete layout
for opium smoking, and frequently during
The night the house is filled with the
sic kening fumes OF tie life-desroying
drug. This young man is always a S pale
as a statue and as shaky as an aspen.
He is following the pace that kills, and
some morning his lifeless remains viii be
found in bed, and the coroner viii give q
certificate which viii read: Accidental
death; overdose OF opium"
Another male character, whose odd form
10 wei -knoWn on the streets Of Washing