The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-02-03
PARIS WITHOUT FRENCH.
Adventures Of Americans Who
spoke Only English.

aus jan AN~A ne HNI EtNN fH nun OF
tales of trouble told b. Americans who do
not speak French. In fact. it sometimes
seems as II the people who try to .shpake
the langwidse pairfect" as the Irishman
said. have more trouble than their less
ambitious countrymen. II certainly is
fact that some people get alons very com
fortably without the slightest knowlodse
Of French. There was Miss b. for In
stance. who was in Paris last winter. and
who has since married a well known New
York illustrator
II have tried to learn the fool language"
she said one day in burst of despair.
and can't I won't try TO spea. It any
longer And she didn't.
Il wouldn't believe her when she said
she spoke nothing but English" said an
acquaintance of Miss B. when telling the
story. until one day / happened TO meet
her down town on a shopping expedition
We went into dry goods store and clerk
stepped forward.
-" I want some gloves said Miss b.
" Pardon. madame
q" I want some gloves. Fiverand three
quarters, please calmly.
" Gu est-ce que vous desirez. madame -
with "A puzzled expression.
Gloves. You know what 1 want
Gloves. and I'm in a hurry too.
The clerk shrugged his shoulders AMI
went of for another salesman with whom
the same experience was repeated. Final
~ We had the larger part OF the establish
ment gathered around us. none of them
knowing a word of English But. Miss
b. got her gloves. just the same Another
time met her just as she was about TO go
home. She walked out to her cab and said
genially to the driver
" Now | want to so home
Comment
&c 1 want TO so home .-
shoulders.
oh. yes. you do. Home. you know. the
place we started from She had taken
the cab at her own door and kept the same
one. Go on and she got in and shut the
door Cabby shrugged his shoulders and
evidently not knowing what else to do.
drove back to the place he had started
from. and. there she was. It's perfectly
easy. she said.
Another time, right after the anarchist
outrages at Paris she hailed a cap. ana
after the usual preliminary skirmish. In
which she succeeded as usual in being
understood, she stepped in and off they
went In less than two minutes. however.
the cab door flew open. and Miss r.. s
voice was heard calling upon the driver to
stop. The man drew tho cab up along the
curbstone and Miss e. jumped out
Take that thing OUT! she demanded.
pointing a shaking finger toward Che in-
side Of the cab. The man looked In and
then turned a perpleNcd countenance to-
ward his excited passenger.
Take il out, / tell you! Take 10 out"
she insisted, but the cochcr only looked
from her to the cab and back again in ut
ter bewildcrment
The drivers of other cabs gathered
around, and there was a great pol1ing of
heads i'm and out of the vehicle and volubie
French remarks, TO all of which Miss j..
responded only by her demand to have
it taken out, finally adding:
I know it's "a bomb. ! just know 10 is.'
AT the word bomb the drivers began
to look intelligent and went off into con-
vulsions Of laughter when they We're fin
ally convinced that Miss 3. had taken the
footwarmer for an Internal machine of
some sort. They assured her that Il was
simply TO warm her feet and after much
explanation she understood, and the drive
4 was resumed"
4 Last summer an American and his wife
arrived in Paris the day that Carnot's body
was placed in state at the Elysee Palace.
I They thought il would be "A nice thing 20
drive out toward the Bots de Bouiogno
and come back past thopalace SO that
they could see see The people going I'm and
out. 1t was the first time they had been la
Paris. and Mr.. S. had assured his wife
before they came that he knew ooh.
enough French to get along with, you
know" and like the dutiful wife She was.
she trusted implicitly TO him. and gave
herself up to the delights of the new
sights and sounds When they went out
of the hotel Mr. S. hailed a cap. an open
one. and helped his wife in Then he
turned to the cocher, who bent over'atten-
lively
"Er-r-r-" said Mr.. s.
The cocher smiled.
"Er-r-r---' said Mr. S. again. nlshing
more than he had since he was a boy.
The cocher smiled again and so DID
/ Mrs. S, trihe malciousiy4 II seemed TO
/ her unhappy husband. In despair he
/ jerked out "Bois de Boulogne." and with
| a nod the driver whipped his horse and
/ off they started.
I thought you understood French. =
! said Mrs. s.
Well l never said I understood much
/ of II, growled her husband and 1nvr
way. ! can't plunge right in and talk
/ fuently at the first attempt"
/ 1t was late In the afternoon and the
/ Champs Elysees were crowded with car
| riages. They drove on and on, into The
Bots and through the Bots and finally
/ Mr.. S. began to show signes Of unoasi-
ness
That fellow viii drive on all right
he said
why don't you tell him to 20 ba 2'
said Mrs. s., with nonchalance which
would have driven an ordinary man to
suicide.
We'll how am l to say. Driver turn
around now and drive back to the hotel.
but take us around by the palace where
| Carnots body lies in state How / ask
you, am / going to say that?
Il don't know
We'll why don't you try to help a TEL
low2"
Il never said 1 understood French.
OH
And they drove on and on. Finally 1Ir.
5. poked the cocher in the back The
coher looked around. Mr.. S. sail never
word, but waved his arm with wind
mill motion in the direction from which
they had come. Cocher smiled, nodded
and turned the horse around. AMI they
drove on and on.
This fellow will take us back to the
hotel now, and we won't get to see tho
palace after all" growled Mr.. s.. after
they had reached the Champs Elysees
and were bowling along toward home
Yes" said Mrs. S.
Mr.. S. swOre under his breath. IT
! last he poked the cocher in the back
again. He turned around
"Carnot" CALCULATED Mr. S. in despair