Democratic Northwest and Henry County news. [volume] (Napoleon, O. [Ohio]) 1894-1905, 1895-04-04
mealeswoR1H,s ExpERIMEn1.
he Joins In Snowfall Fight and Learns
Something.


againP
In the vacant lot across the street thC
boys Of the neighborhood. his own among
the number, had cast up the walls Of 4
snow fort, and now a fine mimic battle
was raging. Mr.. Wigglesworth noted the
life and action, and his blood moved
quicker.
"B'george, " he exclaimed, with shuttle
Of his feet, ''if haven't two minds to &c
out and give those boys a try myselfP'
Don't you think you might take coldi'
chirped Mrs. Wigglesworth.
"Ba-h-h-hl" he growled, instantly hoist
ing his voice to high key. You're al
ways wanting me to muffie up and totter
and drop into the tomb. Think you're
going to get my life insurance., don't yei
Where's my mittens9" And the next in
stant Mr.. Wigglesworth was sliding down
the front stoop and plowing across the
yard on his back, having slipped In his
haste as he came through the door, The
boys saw him and staid the battle for q
moment
who's de cove in de red lnittensS" cried
one Of them.
Its pa" shouted little Willie Wiggles-
worth as the old man struggled to his
feet "Hooray, pa-look at our forti''
Mr.. Wigglesworth picked his entnusi-
asm out of the snow and said:
boys, remember when me and the
Dodley twins had forts all one winter, and
I'm going to show you lads how US old
fellows used to run a fight"
''Whoo-pel" yelled the boys.
That's itr' cried Mr.. Wigglesworth,
enthusiasm mounting "I'll stand the
whole crowd of ye. Get into the fort there
and lookout for me, for down comes the
walls at the first onslaught"
A boy with two teeth missing instant
ly lodged SNOWFALL against Mr.. Wiggles-
worth's prominent Adams apple
who did thatf" he shrieked. as the
fractured SNOWFALL slid down inside his
shirt bosom. Don't ye see / wasn't
ready?"
Nobody volunteering an answer, Mr..
Wigglesworth swallowed his passion and
hastily rolled up some balls of snow
''You boys, " he said as he ostentatiously
went through these preparations "are too
slow. You stand off and discharge projeo-
tiles at each other, but what does that
amount tor What propose to do is to
carry your works by assault, understand,
sames used to do with the Dodley twins.
I give ye fair warning, you see, because
I'm a man and don't want to hurt ye.
Once get inside your fort you must scat
ter, else, of course, I'll have to fire you
out. Now, look out, for the old mans
coming and death rides on the galeP'
The poetry of battle mounted in Mr.
Wigglesworth S Imagination as he shouted
these warning words, and then be charged
forward. 1t never was clearly explained
to him what next took place. Mrs. Wig
ellsworth, who was looking on from the
window, said that for an instant the sun
was obscured by 2,000 600 snowballs that
issued from the fort every one of which,
she thinks, struck Mr.. Wigglesworth on
the head.
That was subsequently understood to be
Nj. Wigglesworth' opinion also
Half way up to the fort, her deposi-
tion continues, Mr.. Wigglesworth encoun-
tered quick sands in the form of yielding
snow, into which he sank SO deeply that
his line of attack wavered. This gave op-
portunity for the besieged to discharge an
other volley, wherein was displayed the al
most superhuman accuracy Of aim of the
boy with two front teeth missing. Itwas
a SNOWFALL with marble heart, the mar
BILE having been frozen into 1t overnight,
and it fiattened Mr.. Wigglesworth' nose
SO closely to his face that his own family
never could have recognized him.
A man chopping wood over behind
Dodges mountain put piece in the local
paper stating that he distinctly heard Mr..
Wigglesworth 9 yell. 1t was clear, frosty
day, when sound travels great distance.
who fred that rockf' screamed Mr..
Wigglesworth. He was answered by a
cheer and another volley. Little Willie
Wigglesworth was overheard by comrade
who stood next in line, a boy with freckles,
but said to be quite truthful, to hiss be-
tween his smoke begrimed lips that he'd
give cents to plug one into the old mans
ear, and the boy afterward stated that the
feat was achieved and claimed the cents.
The historian has to confess that the
vehicle of narrative is inadequate to the
rapid action Of the scene which Mrs. Wig
ellsworth, with abated breath, now wit
messed from the window Her husband,
she states, appeared to have abandoned bis
intention Of showing how battles were
won in the days Of the Dodley twins, and
she judged by the frenzied manner in
which he plucked his legs out CT the cling
ing snow and lashed the atmosphere with
bis arms and uttered remarks that it were
not fit for women to hear, though she lis
tened as carefully as she could, and even
tried to get the window open, but 1t was
frozen down, that his purpose was to catch
as many boys as be could in his two hands
at once and pull their legs off, which SEEM
ed to her horrible thing to do, but few
of us realize, unless we have been there,
and none of us have If we could secure
substitute, what terrible thing war is.
But Just as he got close under the walls
and was reaching for a boy Mr.. Wiggles-
worth suddenly disappeared from the gaze
of his Mortified wife The boys, with a
knowledge, of warfare such as the Dodley
twins never in their most twinly moments
dreamed of, had mined the snowdrifts be-
fore the walls and when Mr.. Wiggles-
worth's heavy weight WAS projected upon
the superimpending crust he went through
without waiting moment to take breath.
At the bottom of the excayated space the
juvenile engineers had arranged small
pond of water in which to freeze snow
balls, and which was found to be large
enough to take in all Of Mr., Wigglesworth
at once. The boys then tipped the walls
o; the fort over on him, and with three
cheers for the Dodley twins trooped gayly
away.
why, Elleryi" sympathized Mrs. Wig
ellsworth as she held the door open while
her husband dragged slowly up the steps,
don't you''-
"You get into the housel" yelled Mr..
Wigglesworth, land don't you let me have
any more yap out Of your head about be-
ing young again. f I'd gone to the office,
as intended, instead Of trying to sprawl
around here amusing you, I'd been earn
ing money now to support your extrava-
gances instead of looking like blame fool
for your old maid neighbors to point their
crooked fingers at. Franco me out some
dry clothes, dye hear, and don't be stand
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