davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-10-04
TREES.

The product Of the wax tree of the Andes
cannot be distinguished from bceswax.
The tea party tree in Bowthorpe park,
Lincolnshire, England has hollow big
enough TO place table with seats for sew
eral guests.
The oldest known living tree is the
Soma cypress Of Lombardy, which the rec
ord says was standing and Of unknown
age" in the year AZ Is. G.
The "life tree" OF Jamaica is harder 70
kill than any other species of woody growth
known 10 arborculturists. 1t continues TO
grow and thrive for months after being
uprooted and exposed 10 the sun.
The largest orange tree in the south is a
gigantic specimen which grows out of the
rich soil I'm Terebone parish, La. 1t is 80
feet high and 10 feet in circumference at
the base Its yield has often been 1000
oranges per season
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-10-04
DREAMS OF DRESS.

Among the artistic accessories Of dress
are the Falstatf and Cromwell collars of
point de veniSe or Vandyke lace.
White satin makes "a beautiful evening
gown for maid or matron, especially when
il i softened with creamy lace trimmings.
Pretty dresses for afternoon and evening
wear 1T fashionable resorts are made of the
soft, light pineapple silks so popular this
season.
Charming evening dresses are made Of
cream white satin artisticaily cut and silk
lined 10 give them the desired stand
alone appearance.
Very little jcwelry is worn this season
except in fun dress. but the shirt waists
and nccktics afford an excuse for all sorts
of pretty Scarfpins, studs and neck buttons.
Soft delicate dyes in gray, reseda. fawn,
doe color and brown are among the lead
ing colors on the new sample cards of au-
tumn textiles in cashmere mohair, tailor
cloths and camcl's hair goods.
In navy blue brown and black the new
mOhairs this season strongly rival the
scrgcs and summer sackingS ana twecds
that have for 30 many years been used for
steamer, boating, travelling and similar
outing costumes.
A pretty idea for a nuns gray crepon
gown Is "a cape collar Of primrose MORE cut
square In the back, elongated in front and
turned down on the shoulders after the
manner Of Marie Stuart bertha, and
trimmed on the edge with lace. New York
Post.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-10-04
That Was what lie Meant,

Mr.. Snaggs Miss Bellevue is short i'm
her accuunts-that il. short for woman.
Mrs. Snaggs-I q like TO know why n
woman is less fitted than "A man 10 occupy
"A position OF trust, or why she should he
more likely than man to be short in her
accounts2
Mr.. Snaggs-I didn't mean that there
was anything wrong with her bookkeep-
ing but that she was not as verbose rs
most women in telling a story or narrat-
ing AN Misunderstanding Chronicle
TELEGRAPH
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-10-04
The Cheerful Idiot.

"Why," asked the new boarder, "why
do you say that there is a semblance be
tween riding bicycle and sailinga boat
because, - said the cheerful idiot. "be-
cause you lose the wind when you get ON
the wrong tack. "
Every one with the exception Of the
boarlcr who wore hloomers looked sad -
Indianapolis journal.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-10-04
To Keep From Growing Old.

A swindling firm once advertised that
It would send for the sum of 2s I'd.
a recipe which, If followed to the letter,
would keep folks from growing old.
Some crcdulous persons answered the ad
vertisement, RENTING the required fee,
and received the following reply:
1--WE would advise all such idiots as you
to commit suicide at about the age of 25 %
London Tit Bits.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-10-04
Excessive FIattery.

A prince went 10 inspect rare collcc-
ton of books in little town. The mayor
accompanied him. To his great amaze
ment the prince discovered that all the
books were placed on the shelves the
wrong way about.
"What made you arrange them in that
fashion,"
81 could not permit the volumes 10 turn
their backs ON your highness. La Tri-
buua
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-10-04
A had Outlook.

Madam, said the impecunious board
or TO the landlady, "I.wish to pay my ad
dresses to your daughter. -
All right, sir, she replied. go ahead
II yon don { pay them any more promptly
though. than you do your board, you
never get her in the world, Young man
Detroit Free Press.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-10-04
Ketrnaneciinn.

Notwithstanding 10 you, never told
you a single truth before we were married
Mrs Nuwed-Oh, George, you weren't
quite SO bad as all that. Don't you re-
member you always used to say you were
unworthy Of mef-Lifv.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-10-04
'rt ShtRi BOth DAY.
FRENCH REMEDY

produces the above results in 30 days. IL acts
powerfully and quickly Cures when all others fail
Young men viii regain their lost manhood, and old
men VIII recover thDir youthful ylgor by using
RENINO. II quickly aud surely restores Nervous
ness. Lost Vitality. Impotency. Nightly Emissions,
Lost Power Failing Memory. Wasting Diseases. and
all II, cts OF scfabuse or excess and indiscretion
which units one for study business or marriage. IL
not only by starting AZ the seat of disease but
II great nerve tonic aud blood builder. bring
ing back the pink glow tn pale cheeks and re
storing tie fire OF youth. IL wards of Insanity
and Consumption. Insist on having RENINO, no
other. II can bc carried in vest pocket BY mail.
sI.OO per package, or SIX tor $500. with posi-
tive written guarantee To cure or refund
the money. Circular free. Address
RoYAL MEDICINE CO.. 90 River ST.. CHICAGO, ILL.
For sale at Alma, Mich. by b. g. webb.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20
DOING TOO MUCH.

The article on private corporations,
submitted TO the convention on Friday,
is long. prolix, complicated mass of
verbiage, which will cumber the con-
stitution if inserted, and is in the ma
ture Of legislation. 1t may be said
that the whole instrument is legisla-
tive. That is true, but it is not in
tended for a code Of laws. 1t is
merely to lay down fundamental
principles.
The convention will do good work
by 'chopping the article down and
leaving nearly the whole of it to the
legislature. The same may be said in
relation to the educational article and
Some others introduced. Why will
delegates attempt to make a civil code
instead of a constitution? They are
attempting altogether too much, and
in providing salaries and making laws
on many subjects they are, to a great
extent. spelling the good work which
,they have done.
Let us have an organic law, gentle
men, not a lot of statutes. Say what
the different branches of government
shall do in general terms, and what
they shall not do in specific terms,
cease long debates, close up the bust
ness and quit.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20
THE IRRIGATION FARCE.

The mutilation of the irrigation
article which leaves but one section.
should be followed. if that is all there
is to be left of it by striking that
out as entirely superfuous. Existing
water rights cannot be destroyed. The
legislature could not do away with
them if it tried.
If there is to be nothing more in
the constitution in reference to irriga-
ton than that one section, it would be
much b. tier that nothing be said on
the subject The legislature will be
competent, anyhow. to deal with the
whole question, and that solitary sem
tence proposed will neither confer any
power upon that body nor restrain it
in dealing with the matter.
Something, IN our opinion, ought to
go into the constitution requiring the
legislature to provide for the proper
distribution and conservation of the
water supplies. and for a legal recogni-
ton of existing rights. SO that owners
of the use of water may be able to
obtain proof of what they own as
clear as that of the title to land.
And it is necessary that a board of
control be appointed to settle such
questions. so that moneyed corpora
tons cannot step in, and through the
employment Of great legal talent and
yexations law suits with poor men,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20
THE SILVER CLOUD.

The country seems reused at last to
the fact that there are many more
agitators of the silver question and
believers in real bimetalhsm than the
"silver barons'' and the miners of the
West. Among other Eastern infuen-
tial dailies that see the silver cloud
arising in the West is the New York
World, which has the following perth
nent editorial paragraph.
There is no denying that the most
conspicuous feature of politics at the
present time is the active agitation
which has been started in favor of
free silver coinage by the people of the
western states. The action of the Illi-
nois state Democratic committee call
ing for a delegate convention to dis
cuss the currency question, referred 20
in these columns a few days ago, is
only one out OF many significant in
cidents.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

obtain control of water the use OF
which belongs to the latter. A board
elected by the people to settle matters
relating to water rights, preservation
and distribution would be likely 10 deal
out justice and promote the public wei
fare.
The irrigation article reported to the
convention was a well considered
measure and suitable for a constitu-
tional provision. What has been left
for insertion is worse than nothing at
all. Better let the whole thing go to
the legislature.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20
CONJUGAL OBEDIENCE.

III deciding a somewhat complicated d.
vorce case the other day Judge McAdam
of the New York courts made the follow
ing interesting comment: The only QueS-
ton here is whether or not the wife was
forced by the husband to leave the house,
by her voluntary act. A wife Should be
willing to obey her husband in all his rea-
sonable commands. Under the old English
law the husbands authority was supreme,
and disobedience could be punished by
chastisement. That is. not the law now;
but, nevertheless, a wife must obey a
husbands reasonable commands. The
only exception 1 know of is where the
wife has all the money and the husband
none, and he agrees to obey her. But that
is g. question of money, and has nothing
TO do with this ase."-Commercial Adj
VertiSer.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20
COIN AND THE N. Y. PosT.

The New York Evening Post has I'M
dertaken the task of replying to the
arguments on silver in Coins Finan-
cial School, 1t picks out here and
there some inaccuracies of unimportant
data, such as mistake in the year
when Germany assumed gold basis
and similar small things. and upon
these jumps to the conclusion that the
whole pamphlet is unreliable and it's
arguments incorrect.
But the funniest part Of the Posts
labored editorials is the denial. which
it publishes. of any participation in
the dialogues described in Coin by the
gentlemen whose names are mentioned
The whole plan of the lively little work
is based on an imaginary school, in
which prominent public men are made
to figure as pupils, and colIoquies are
held between them and Coin. the pre-
ceptor.
The Post assumes that Coin claims to
have actually held these conversations
and triumphantly publishes the denials
Of some Of those gentlemen that they
ever held any communication with
Coin. On Page 81 of Coin. Mr.. John r.
Walsh is represented as rising to ask
question. The Post. having men
toned this in serious mood. the follow
ing letter came from the gentleman.
which the Post publishes triumphantly
as settler: 1t says:
AS we were on the point of examin-
Ing this question and the answer to ii,
we received the following letter from
Mr.. Walsh himself. which makes any
further reply Superf1uous:
ITO the Editor of the Evening Post:
'Sir:-I am very glad that your in
curry of April 9 gives me an opportun-
ity TO correct any misrepresentation that
might be caused by the use of my
name in the book called Coins Finan-
cial School, l never attended any of
the lectures referred to in that book,
and. therefore, could not have used the
language with which I am credited.
JOHN R. WALSH.
Chicago. April H.
That any paper published in America
has SO little sense of humor as to take
seriously the personal references in an
imaginary school is excruciatingly
funny. But the Post prints a number
of these denfals. which. of course, take
the place VI " lSlulS SOlu
pungent statements and strong reason
ings.
That is about as sensible as arguing
that the Morals of Esop's fables must
be all wrong. because no conversation
could have been held between a wolf
and a lamb. or a fox with the grapes, |
or with Jove and the wagner
The Post may succeed in advertising !
Coins Financial School," but it has i
not yet succeeded in answering the |
main propositions Of the book. The |
silver question is correctly set forth
in that work. but it is true that some |
Of its minor statements are rashly |
made and it will not do for persons
unfamiliar with the data referred to
in its pages to rely altogether upon its
details. The editor of the Post. in his
grave disputes of the truth Of purely /
silver conversations, simply
makes laughing stock of himself and
Of his denying correspondents.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

North Dakota asked Congress for an
appropriation of s10O0,O0O ito extermin-
ate the Russian thistle, and, failing to
get it. decided to tax its own citizens
for the purpose to the extent of $780,
900. Why should it cost more with
government money. than with state
money? This is a pointer in regard to
Congressional appropriations
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

Our morning contemporary in much
agitation inquiries ''will prohibition be
inserted into the constitution" No. il
will not be inserted into that instru-
snent. Nobody wants IT there. The
proposition is to submit it as a sep
arate question. The Herald hopes it
will not be attached to or connected
with the constitution as a vermiform
appendix or otherwise. Let US have a
constitution without any entangling
.AIiances or tin-can appurtenances.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20
TOO EARLY FOR WORMS.

Every day is becomes more evident
high protection campaign for the presi-
Dental nomination. Since he has been
..'whooping 'er up prices and wages
have been rising steadily to confound
him. The latest is the restoration of the
wages of the thousands of cotton mill
hands about Fall River, Mass. to the
figures in force before the Wilson bill
became a law.-kansas City Star.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

A contemporary is angry over the
waste OF time of the convention "in
foolish talk causing the exhaustion
of the funds for its expenses. Just so.
But our contemporary applauded much
CT that foolish talk extending over sew
eral days, inflated the chief talker and
"seeked'' him on to keep it up, thus
wasting valuable time and costing
several hundred dollars and all to no
purpose.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

The Sprngville Independent has
changed hands. D. P. Felt is the edi-
tor. The paper is non-partisan but it
seems to take the right side ON the
subjects which it handles and has
opinions which are clearly expressed
on public topics, showing that its in
dependence does not mean neutrality.
The Independent is neat attractive
weekly and The Herald wishes it and
Dave unbounded success.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

When Mr.. Gladstone was in Mentone
recently he was met at the station by
hundreds of people and listened to an
address by the mayor. In answer to the
cheers and words of welcome he stood
for some time with his head bare, and
replying to a request to keep his hat on
said: II am not weak from old age yet
don't fear"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

The United States secret service men
have encountered the stamp counter
feiter, Jones by name. To have dis
covered The culprit among the sixty
four millions in the United States
would have puzzled the ordinary de-
tective, but to have dragged him
forth from out of the bosom of the
unnumbereG Joneses would have dis
tinguished Sherlock Holmes.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

General de Campos. it is evident, has
assumed control OF the Cuban press
dispatches. The patriots will hence
forth be denounced as incendiaries and
as torturers of helpless, inoffensive
AMI aged citizens and their encounters
with the imported Don will all result in
their discontinue.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

a cor temporary says the decision Of
the Supreme court has shown the in
come tax law to have been a great
blunder. Is that really so? On the
contrary does it not show that the
court itself has committed series Of
great blunders?
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

The Official proprieties" which for
babe Mr.. Cleveland from attending,
but permitted him to write his views
to, the Chicago gold men, may inter-
pose to prevent his telling Mr.. Bryan
what he considers to be Sound
money" and what the other thing.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

New York surgeons treated a man
with a dislocated hip for alcoholism.
Humane considerations would have die
tated that the accident from which
the victim was then suffering rather
than probable future ones should have
been first attended to.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

A little boy three years old was told
that he must not say goose when he
meant more than one. but geese" Soon
after the nursemaid entered the room
and he applied his freshly gained
knowledge by saying: 'Nursie. when
am alone I'm a goose but when We. are
together we are geese Household
Words.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

The article on corpora tons other
than municipal is just about twice as
long as it would be were it to be re-
Iieved of the matter purely legislative
which encumberS it.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

The late Rev. DIR. Lord of Buffalo of
falos VIGOROUSLY rich and wicked citi
zens. After noting the deceased's par
entage and date of birth he closed hi
tribute by saying. Our dead friend hat
one noble virtue. He always got III
early in the morning.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

The grandfather of William Court
Gully. Lord Rosebery's choice for speak
er of the British house of commons, was
a pugilist and gambler. The house of
commons has frequently shown the
necessity for a speaker who can enforce
the Marquis of Queensberry rules, and
is willing to take chances.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

The payment of the Chinese indem-
nifty to Japan in silver will have
wholesome effect on the silver mar
ket. 1t ought to have a similar effect
il. some degree upon the silver ques-
ton.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

The .postmaster's boy and the profess
s0r,s boy were playing together "A
professors boy exclaimed: You ought
to let me go first. My fathers an IA.
NJ ''Huhr' replied his companion.
That's nothing. My fathers u p. NJ" =
Harper's Young People.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

We stop the press in order to inform
Ex-Governor Thomas that the guberna-
torial Boom of Chairman c. Crane is
in danger of collapse through the in
attention of his friends.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

1t is not yet quite certain whether
1t is white winged peace or an ex-
detrimental flying machine that hovers
over the eastern situation.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

Much regret is felt in the literary cir
cles of Germany at the death of Colonel
Won Cohanseh, who died recently in
Cassel. He was one of the best known
German authorities on Roman archae-
ology, and wrote a number of books on
this and other subjects.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

ya patlenI ea1teT wound ma mas f nealeq1
1 shall carry this terrible scar as long
as 1 live. Surgeon (reassuringly)-Yes
but then. you know, you may live only
a year or two.-Boston Transcript.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

Major Calhoun, managing editor of the
Standard, the new Boston daily, is the
gia-' He was an officer in Sherman's
army and lost leg in battle. He was
captured by the rebels and suffered for
some time the horrors of prison life
south.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20
GONE DEMOCRATIC.

The Ogden wooden mill which has bee:
idle so long has resumed operation. An
other industry gone Democratic
Ephraim Enterprise.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

Judge Mcconnell is a free silver
renegade; he has left the Iroquois res
ervation where he was big chief.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

Ingalls, has Joined the silver process
sion. He is probably tired of being a
statesman "out of a yob.'
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20
PEOPLE OF PROMINENCE.

The Wheeling Intelligencer Rep.)
says. 1T is generally believed that Mr.
Reed has killed his presidential chances
by his course on the financial question
IN Congress-"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

Dyspepsia seldom causes death, but
permits its victims to live on in misery
Hoods Sarsaparilla cures dyspepsia
and all stomach troubles.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

The committee on schedule did well
IN reporting against the submission of
a prohibition article.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

MagistrateaaWhy didn't you anwser to
your name? Vagrant-Beg parding,
Jedge, but 1 forgot wot name 1 gave
las night Magistrate-Didn't you give
your own name? Vagrant-No Jedge,
I'm travellin' incog.-NeW York Weekly.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

A few more such decisions and the
people will clamor for a still more su-
preme court.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20
FUNNY FELLOWS.

You can get very good idea of mat
ural selection in its practical workings
by viewing celery glass after it has
been once round the table.-Tit-Bits.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

Johnny fools his parents
It's very sad to state
They think he's making garden
When he's only digging bait.
washington Star.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

ropean powers may feel impelled to
interfere.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

The committee threw little cold
water on the prohibition scheme.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

lie Comte-A case Of re matrirnony has
saved many of our aristocratlc houses
from re ruin.
Miss Vassar-Yes. when it's matter
of-money case. l agree with you-New
York Ledger.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

Corbett hesitates to close terms on
the Fitzsimmons match because Of his
violent antipathy TO the income tax.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

The Crane promotion bureau seems
TO have exhausted the appropriation.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-04-20

Give the legislature something to do.