Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-09-26
Sprink1es OF Spice.
Beside the brook.


My love and did splash and dabblc.
| begged kiss.
She answered this:
''You surely know how brooks will
: babble.''
Philadelphia Record.
Help! help!' cried the man who was
being robbed. Calm yourself" said
the highwayman, Il don't need any as
sistance. Town Topics.
Hell believe l will propose to her by
telephone. Do you think she will ac
cept me? She-She ought to if you ring
her up properly. Bazaar.
Customer-These trousers don't sit
right about the hips. Tailor-They're
all right-what you need is something
more in the pockets. Record.
-Caddington's still suffering from
that toothache, though / advised him
to take a drop of carbolic acid and kill
the nerve. Perrins-Didn't he do it?
Lea-No; he didn't have the nerve
Judge.
Cholly-Thought you were going to
marry Miss Kostique? Gussie-Going
to awsk her tonight. Ny chawnces are:
about even. "How so, deah boy?' "She
must say either yes or no '-Phila-
delphia Record.
Dozber-Do you think that constantly
wearing a hat has a tendency to make
man bald? JaZlin-No; but when
man is bald I've noticed that it has
tendency to make him constantly wear
a hat.-Roxbury Gazette.
81 don't see any use in getting blue
over it, old man. She isn't the only girl
in the world ''That's just what I'm
blue about. Think of the chances I
have of making the same kind of fooi
of myself again. brooklyn Life.
Although she had a gift, as people said,
A generous gift Of song from Nature
free,
Her dear papa with rage fell nearly
At finding each short lesson cost V.
-Pittsburg Dispatch.
"You are charged said the rural
justice, with stealing two gallons of
whisky Why did you do it?' "Steal
two gallons?'' Eyes" Zoos I couldn't
git away with a barrel, yer honor.
never wuz very strong! Con-
stitution.
An exemplary patient-"This morn
ing the doctor ordered me to drink
warm water an hour before every
meal; and here I've been drinking for
the last forty minutes, but I'll be jig
gered if l can swallow another drop
-Humoristische Blaetter.
To folk in city and village and farm
The time is coming, and woe betide,
When campaign speakers view with
alarm
And then incidentally point with
PRIDE
Chicago Record.
The physician-Grea Scott! young
lady, you say you had eleven dishes of
ice cream, four soda waters and ham
sandwich. Can you wonder why you're
sick? The young lady (feebly)-It must
| have been the ham sandwich, / sup
! pose.-Louisville Post.
sive?" he asked. EYES," she replied:
''it's very hot and tiresome." would
it make matters more endurable if
| were to propose to your ooh, yes. Do
propose ice cream, soda water ana
drive" Washington Star.
How will you have your eggs cook
DE-" asked the waiter. make any diff
ference in the cost of emp inquired
the cautious customer with the brim-
less hat and faded beard. mo" '"Fhen
cook them on the top of slice of ham, .
said the customer, greatly relieved
Spare Moments.
Mr.. Urban-Why is it that you coun-
| try people charge SO much more for
board than we have to pay in the city?
Mrs. Ensilage-La me! What ques-
ton! In the city the boardin' house
keepers has plenty Of markets, but here
we has to raise everything.-New York
Weekly.
eve couldn't help liking each other,
you see,
The yacht met with very rough
weather;
And while she was pitching and toss
ing, you know,
Wewere constantly thrown together"
Brooklyn Eagle.
Doctor would advise you, dear
madam, to take frequent baths, plenty
of fresh air, and dress in cool gowns.
Husband Tan hour later)-What did the
doctor say? Wife-He said | ought to
go to watering place, and afterwards
to the mountains. and to get some new
light gowns at once.-Tliegende Biaet-
ter.