The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1895-12-19
WlGaLEsWoRTH GETS UP.
There Is q Cry of "FIrcp and Ho NobIy
Responds.

| Ting forco and sickcns tho hearts of tho
property owncrs
Apparently not approaching this fact, q
| bibulous gentleman, faring uncertainty
| past tho dnrkoncd house Of Wigglcsworth.
| lifted tho upper pnrt of his head with a
hiccoughing gesture and projected his
voice in stridcnt shrick:
He then Mhoopcd onco or twice and dis.
! appeared on tho horizon.
"Ellery!" cried Mrs. WigRlcswortb. sit.
/ ting-up IN bed.
"Wummpmhmf" Mr.. Wigglcsworth in.
oohorcntly answered
Get u3-gct up Mt onco!" called his
| wife, shaking him violently. "Thero's n
fret
With ono bound tho half wakoned Wig
ellsworth WAS in tho middle of the room
Iclawing for his garments.
What 80 dono with my clothos9" he
exclaimed, waving his arms around in tho
darkness.
They TO on tho chair, right where you
left them, responded Mrs. Wigglcsworth,
making tho answer that wife ALWAYS
makes. "Oh, Elloryl Where do you sun
pose it isp'
How do knowP' answered Mr.. Wig
ellsworth testify. II hung it right on the
bcdpost when undrcsscd"
Il don't moan that, said Mrs. Wigglos-
worth. II menn the fro. Whcro do you
think, Ellcry?''
"Whcro do I Think" repeated Mr.. Wig
ellsworth, impaling himself on n bayonot
belonging to tho rocking chair and lifting
his voice into u Shrek. 'Whcro does any.
body think that knows anythingp Oh, nv
foot, my footv'
What ails your foot?' asked Mrs. Wig
ellsworth, strnining her eyes through the
darkness.
what ails itP" howlcd Mr. Wigglcs-
worth, picking up his poor, MANNED men,
bor and hopping about tho room with it.
What 20 sposc? Think it's got tho
measles, don't ye? Who put that rocking
chair side Of my bcd?''
"It isn't beside the bed, /" returned Mrs
Wigglcsworth earnestly. "Its way over
by tic window"
81 know bcttcr yelled her husband.
II got right out of bed, and tho very first
thing it up and kicked mol Oh, my foot
my foot!' And ho rocked to and fro
moaning.
Can't you put something on it?" sug-
gestcd Mrs. Wigglosworth in q voice OF
sympathy.
Put something OH it!' snapped Mr..
Wig9lesworth angrily. "Ain't that what
Two been trying to do? Think I'm going
out barcfootcd? Whore yo hid my stock
ings?'
"Thcy'rc on tho bureau" said Mrs
Wigglesworth.
What 20 put 'cm there for?" growlcd
Mr. Wigglcsworth, and ho crawled across
the floor. Bringing his head in contact
with tho washstand, he broke forth afrcsh.
Can't yo get out of bed and l;-ht that
lamp" no cried. "Think 1 want TO M
providing round hero till sunrise, knock
ing off things with my hcad."
Mrs Wigglcsworth, thus adjurcd. tot
tered with woman's unerrng instinct to
tho bureau and broke lamp chimney.
Inat' S tho way" said her husband
tierccly. Put the pieces over here, where
can step ca 'cmr'
J. There's another ono in the bathroom,
Mrs. Higglcsworth replied
When she got hack with r. and c,st lite
rays about tho roor-.,. n scene of dcsolntion
Mas made manifest. Mr. Wigglcsworth
had thrust himself into pair of bicycle
trousers belonging to Willie, ono arm was
invested in his wifcs spring cloak, and he
sat III the center of II great array of debris,
which, by tho ccntripctal forco of his hasty
Journcying, had been gathered in tho mid
die of tho apartment.
"Ob, Ellory," walled Mrs, Wigglos-
worth, appalled, By the sight presented to
her view, what have you been doing?'
What have been doipts?' repeated her
husDF-nd, looking himself over with strong
disgust. |"I'd like to havo tho answers to
correspondents man find out! Whose
trousers arc thcsc;" he yelled, noting the
garments cStrcmo brcvity. "What lind
OF Il things this?" he added, puoking off
tho spring cloak and stamping ar it.
why, said Mrs. Wiggicsworth, "that
is my clcaS, you know. and those are Will
lie bicycle trousers
"Wcll," cxclai:ncd Mr. Wipglcsworth.
esayG3;cly, "what 20 got mo dressed up in
'cm fors What yo 1Aink it is, IL masquer-
ado blll:'
81 was taking them up attic" meek
iy replied Mrs. Wigglcsworth. "to put
away for winter, you know 1 only laid
them on the bureau overnight. 1 don't
SOC how you got them way on the other
side Of tho room So
"ltell yc they was right hero on my
CHAIR, " bullicd Mr.. Wigglcsworth, "just
where left my other things when i blew
ont the light. Yo changed 'em, that's
what yo did"
How could II" protested his wife.
"You came to bed last
That's it-that's the way to argue!"
snarlcd Mr.. Wigglcsworth. "Mean to say
did it pro'bly. Got up in my sheep like
~, and went round changing 'em. Wig
| ellsworth, tho great sleep walker Re-
marknbo instance of hypnotism Substi-
tutes "A pair of bicycle pants and appearg
in public. Going to writo it up for the
| papers, amt yep
Meantime he was shuf1ling ont of tho
offending rcgalia and gradually accumu-
lating, with the assistance of his wife, his
accustomed wardrobe. The vest was In
tho bathroom. the stockings on tho bureau,
| ono of them having got involved with a