davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1895-02-15
A Birthday Rhyme.

Born on Monday, fair of face
Born ON "a Tuesday, full of God s grace:
Born ON Wednesday, merry and glad;
Born ON a Thursday, sour and sad;
Born of n Friday, godly Rivn;
Born of a Saturday. work for a living;
Born Of IA Sunday, never shall want;
SO there's the week and the end ont.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1895-02-15

No. 4O5. -Geographioal Arithorcms:
England dinburgh, y lie, Greece,
L-anark, a tlantic, \ orwich, ID enmark
No. 406. a Match Trick: No answer
required.
No. IO7. -- ilourglass: Centrals, nagco.
let. Crosswnrds l. Bcnclicrs , drilled
3. Flame. :. Ago .. T.. s. Con Z
Bales S. Calends 9. Constrain.
No. 40S Numerical Enigma: a roll.
ing stone hers no moss.
No. 100. Transportation; Source course
No. llO.---HnIf Square and Sauare:
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1895-02-15

eve got a cold or something in my
'ead, was what the simple little chapps
said.
The pretty girl, with roguishncss de-
mure, replied, ON, it must be "A cold, I'm
suren
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1895-02-15
VITAL TO MANHOOD.

DIR. +. c. VESTS NERVE AND BRAIN TREAT
MENT, specific for Hysteria, Dizziness, Fits, Neu-
ralgia, Headache, Nervous Prostitution caused by
alcohol or tobacco, Wakefulness Mental Depression,
5oftening OF Brain, causing insanity misery decay
death, Premature Old Age, Barrenness, Loss Il
Power in either sex, Impotency, LoucorrhCea and "A
Female Weaknesses, Involuntary Losses, Spermn-
torrhea caused by over-exertion of brain, Self
abuse, over-lndulgence. A months treatment, 81,
tor g. by mail. With each order for boxes, with
3 Will send written guarantee to refund If not cured
duarane es issued by agent. VESTS LIVER PILLS
cures Sick Headache, Biliousness, Liver Complaint.
sour stomach, Dyspepsia and Constipation.
GUARANTEES issued only by
w. II. SHELDON sole Agent
Middlcburv. VI
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1895-02-15

No. 4II-CentrAI AcrOstic: Centrals,
Farragut Crosswords: l. ProFfer. g
BloAter 3. ChaRiot. A. ClaRion. g.
Broaden. Il. DraGged. z FraUght S
Clothes
No. Photographed Anagrams: l.
Port Royal sound 2. Galveston bay. 3.
Raritan bay. 1. Long Island sound. 8.
Gulf Of Saint Lawrence. s. Barnes sound.
z. Barents sea. S. Gulf of Finland 9.
IPeconic bay, 10. northumberland strait,
M. Persian gulf. ~. Albemarle sound.
ll3. Strait of Juan de Fuca. IA. Bay OF
Honduras. 10. Barnegat bay. l6. Eng
lish channel II. Sligo bay 10. Strait
OF Otranto 10. Massachusetts bay 20.
Strait OF Gibraltar.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1895-02-15

The initials Of the names Of the Objects
placed in order as numbered. will form a
word sQMnrc
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1895-02-15

COUGHING LEADS TO CONSUME
TON. Kemp's Balsam stops the cough al
once.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1895-02-15
WHY /?
QUESTION: Won AgI
Here Answered win Cool Sound
Reason.

ESPECIAL TO our LADY READER
Why do people say that Lydia E.
Pinkhams treatment, especially her
Vegetable COMPOUND, effects cures be-
You'd the lysicjan's skillp
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-12-08
UNAppRECIATED.

She was a nice old lady with specta-
cles, and she got ON at Adams Basin
and took a seat by my side.
She had the programme of a W. c.
T. U. convention in her hand, which
she consulted occasionally, with the
evident fear that she was going to be
late at the morning session. She look
ed so nice and kindly, and as though
she must be some fellows dear old
aunt or grandmother, yet so evidently
i'll at ease that wanted to talk to her,
but hardly knew how to begin.
Just then the tTainman called out
South Greece. South Greece!' and
remarked that I thought the name Of
the station seemed very funny, it open
ed up such possibilities of "West Jeru-
salem,'' North Pisa or East Caper-
naum.''
1 thought that it was a pretty bright
thing to say, but the dear old lady
never smiled. She just gazed at me
over her spectacles as one who was
glad to give from her store of knowl-
edge what she could, and she said
solemnly and kindly: 1.-THE name may
seem peculiar, but the reason they call
this station South Greece is because,
about four miles away on the county
line road, there is another village called
Greece Center, and they have to call
this station South Greece to tell them
apart and the sweet faced old lady
with the self-satisfied look of one who
has impaired useful information and
done a kindness by the wayside, re-
sumed the study of her programme,
and L haven't tried to say a funny
thing since, except once, when my
wife asked me if her hat was on
straight, which the same also was a
failure-NeW York Sun.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-12-08
TRAINED MONKEYS.
THEY ARE CLEVER ATHLETES.
BARBERs, SCI ssoRs GRINDERS.
Monkeys Cannot BE Taught Through
Their Intelligence, But Are MINI
les With Poor Memories.
BY OLIVE f. GI1NRY

ut has taken eighteen months to train
them but they are worth $3.50 week to
me now. Corbett is the stockiest of the
two but FitZsimmons is the most wiry
and agile, so he gets ahead of him some
times''
Here Fitz!" handing that parsonage
a. banana, give Corb a piece and the
monkeys partook of the dainty while the
attendant fastened a. red sash around the
waist of one and a blue sash around the
other.
Ready For Fight.
Put their gloves on now" directed
the trainer, and the plethoric boxing
gloves were fitted on the quaint little
hairy paws upheld to receive them. Odd
enough the pair looked thus armed and
equipped for the fight, the thin gauze
sweaters covering their brawny chests
and arms, the white knee-pants fitting
close and allowing a liberal display. OF
hairy legs. The boxing gloves gave a for
gay sash knotted about the waist inn
parted a touch of festivity.
What part do they take?" was asked
in allusion to the two grave looking mon
keys attired in gray checkered trousers,
black coats, and white vests with a
glimpse of watch chain dangling from
the fob of each.
''Those are seconds. 1t is their duty to
and to resuscitate the principals when
they are knocked out or for any reason
need their services. They have on hand
whisky TASKS, SpongeS, fanS ana every
thing neeoed.
"Time!' called the keeper, watch in
hand, when after the first round Corbett
lay sprawled on the floor, seemingly In
a spent condition.
In a flash the redoubtable fighter was
up again, ready to go" for his opponent
with all the vigor OF baffled fury, They
cuffed. battled and closed in with each
other Gust for all the world like human
beings, and, when the second round was
called off and there was cessation Of Of
hostilities, the efficient seconds sponged
and an mo mopped their sweating brows exactly
as do their prototypes III a world-fam-
Gus contest of prize fighting: In the
hut the agile Fitzsimmons quickly re-
covering himself planted a telling blow
right between his opponent S eyes and as
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-12-08
STROBE stumbled and fell, throwing his

strobe stumbled and fell, throwing his
rider to the ground.
His fall served to shake Francisco
without disabling him. Springing up just
as the advanced Britisher rode up, he
saw the fellow level his musket and pull
the trigger. The gun missed fire. Peter
closed with his adversary, dragging him
from the saddle.
A fierce struggle enslIed, the cavalry
man getting the worst of It. Francisco
snatched the sword he had dropped, and
the Britisher ran toward his approach
ing friends overcome with fright, while
Peter waving his sword, shouted:
Come on, meni Well lick EN- YETI!
This bold move on the part of the
American proved his salvation.
The frightened cavalryman, on reach
ing his friends, assured them that a
whole company of rebels was coming
through tho woods, and in consequence
a panic ensued, the British beating q
hasty retreat.
Nor did Tarleton's dragons discover
their mistake until Francisco was too
far away to be overtaken.
That night he returned and stealing ur
to the enemy's camp, appropriated the
horses of the squad and made off with
them.
There is no telling what would have
been the outcome Of Peter Francisco
military career had not one of the stoler
horses kicked him, breaking his neck, a
week later
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-12-08


two-thirds of them died before they
could be disposed Of
Perhaps the training that these per-
forming monkeys go through worries
and frets them, causing sickness" sus-
gested a by-stander. mo. 1t is their ma
ture to initiate and to do things. don
think they mind that, but they miss the
warmth and freedom that they are used
to among the cocoanuts and palms.
What else do these monkeys do?" he
was asked.
ooh! lot of things. would put them
through but they are tired now, as
said Rex seems out of Sorts
HE is very fond of playing scissors
grinder. and of sharpening knives and all
sorts of household implements. That
dun colored little fellow rings the bell
to attract custom. The one with the
white face over in the corner turns the
whasstone and the others struggle. up
with the things to be ground. They look
funny dressed up with their hats on"
Fitzsimmons enjoys bundling Rex in a
wheelbarrow and splitting him out, and
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-12-08
do a thing but you can't tell him, as you

do a thing but you can't tell him, as you
can dog.
In teaching these monkeys every detail
must be gone over and over, before their
eyes. day after day. or they will forget
1t from one performance to the next A
dog will remember. He is not initiative,
he can be taught through his intelligence.
THE hardest thing l ever did was to
teach those red monkeys the shaving act.
Finally they understood, however, and
the Gathering of the soap and rubbing it
on the customers face was great fun for
them. Now, when the two barber mon
keys shave a. customer or two they do it
so earnestly and their expression of
countenance is so serious and painstak-
ing that the on-lookers have to laugh in
spite of themselves.
As BARRIERS.
Here Rex! Fix your soap.' he called
to w1stful-eyed red monkey who was
sitting short distance away rolling an
empty spool over and over after the
fashion of a kitten. The trainer made
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-12-08
PETER FRANCISCO.
A Hero of the Revolution.

gagged on such errands as Francisco's
The captain of the squal of nine men
relieved Francisco of his watch, boots
and such other things as he thought
would be of use to himself. In order to
secure the plumber he put his sword
under his arm, with the hilt toward the
prisoner.
This was a fatal move on the part of
the British captain, for the instant he
did this Francisco, with quick move
ment, drew the sword from under the
officers arm and struck him over the
head.
FUNCTIONS about robbing his prisoner, he
was a brave man. He drew his pistol;
but Francisco was too quick for him,
and with a terrific swing of his right
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-12-08

arm. he nearly. severed the captains
head from his body.
AS the Englishman fell. Peter leaped
through the open door, mounted one of
the cavalrymens horses and rode to-
ward the woods in the rear of the house.
1t was only for a moment the soldiers
gathered about their fallen captain, then
they were in hot pursuit of his slayer.
Peter had soon made half the distance
that interVened between house and
woods. One pursuer was at least ten
rods in advance of his fellows, armed
with an old musket Wand had placed in
his hands.
As Francisco drew near the woods this
cavalryman gained rapidly upon him
Even then Peter would have made good
his escape had not the horse he be-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-12-08

motions with his hand about his mouth
and chin, and Rex hoped up to a small
cup near and Selling a brush in his
hairy paw began to mix soap-sudS.
Get your razor" was the next COM
mand, accompanied by another sign, and
Rex picked up the wooden razor and
bobbed his head TO a grey monkey, lone
of the seconds in the prize fighD, who
had seated himself in the miniature bar
b-r's chair and laid his head back, at
the first intimation that Rex was get
ting ready. Rex, laid the razor on the
table and was about to dip up some of
the lather to daub his customers face,
when the trainer stopped him.
eli! now, there, Rex!' he said sternly.
and, Immediately Rex dropped the
lather-brush. took up white cloth which
lay convenient, unfolded it, and put ii
round the customers neck, spreading it
out neatly over his chest, to protect his
clothing.
The two looked quaint and grotesque
enough as the hairy chin and cheeks
were lathered by the dark paws, the
lather well rubbed into the skin and
the imabo-beE(Eet razor applied. The
monkey then seemed to ask the other if
he wished his hair cut and the latter
nodding affimatiVely, that little panto-
mime was enacted, two or three men
ing on. giving way to explosions of
laughter at the life-lilze and very human
movements of the monkey.
He has seen man shaved million
times, | should say" affirmed the train
er, "and now the performance has be-
come second nature with him. He seldom
omits anything. as he did the napkin
just now, but I don't think he is quite
up to the mark today.
Have Weak Lungs.
care monkeys apt to get sick?" mot
so apt to get sick as they are apt to
die outright Unexpectedly. The climate
in America, particularly in the northern
states IS too variable and cold for them.
A monkeys lungs are not his strong
point Frequently a trainer devotes in
monkey a certain performance only to
lose his before the season is half over.
A whole ship load was brought over
from Africa about year ago, to be sold
at retail throughout the country, and
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-12-08

Corbett sometimes goes out walking with
his wife and wheels the baby carriage
with the youngest child in it, the baby
lace. Those little red men there all can
ride bicycles. and sometimes we make
boomer girls of some of them. They
look quite coquettish, with their glen
garry caps. They can go through a dig
nified dinner, also using knife, fork, and
napkin cleverly.
1.-THE monkeys in the Zoo never do
cute things, do they?" asked one of the
spectators.
They initiate their keepers move
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-12-08

tain something to eat. He had nearly
finished his meal when he heard cavalry
approaching along the road.
He picked up his hat and started for
the door. when he was confronted by
Mr.. Wand, who refused to let him pass.
Peter reached in his pocket for his pistol
but it was gone
did you think I'd let a rebel dog eat
at my table without pay?" cried Mr.
If you attempt violence, 1 will use it on
you"
There was no avenue of escape other
than that guarded by Mr.. Wand, so Pc
ter suffered himself to be made a pris-
cavalry. which had been sent out by
Tarleton to capture men who were en-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-12-08
BY RAYMOND HALE MERRILL.
Copyright 1895 by Raymond Hale MerrilD

Copyright 1895 by Raymond Hale MerrilD
Among the humber heroes of the
American Revolution. none were Drawer
than Peter Francisco. In the year 17S1,
ali Virginia was in an uproar. The
British troops and their allies. the Tor
les, plundered all patriot citizens. and
burned their buildings, leaving desola-
ton behind them.
1T was during this scene of desolation
that Peter Francisco nearly lost his life
at the hands of Tarletons men.
He was travelling along the road one
afternoon, accommodating, and stopped
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-12-08

Coughing irritates the delicate organs
and aggraVates the disease Instead of
waiting, try One Minute Cough Cure.
1t helps at once. making eXpectorat ton
easy, reduces the soreness and intIam-
nation. Every one likes it. For sale
by all druggists. Nelden-Judson, whole
sale dealers.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-12-08

Another:
IF you want to know what kind of q
man l was, wait Till the day of re;ribu-
ton, and you shall be satisfied"
On a hosier:
He left his hose, MS Hannah and his love
To sing Hosannahs in the land above.
sDied by a stroke Of casualty
One on an aged couple:
Their warfare is ended
And still another:
Here lies the body OF Samuel Proctor,
Who lived and died without doctor
Shoe and Leather Reporter.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-12-08
A HALF DOZEN EPITApHs.

On a. retired sea captain in the GENE.
terry at Manchester-by-t he-Sea:
Through Boreas' blast
And Neptune's wave
/ anchor here at last
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-12-08

ments occasionally but they don't have
the chance to see much going on except
people walking about and staring at
them. In their natural state monkeys are
only interesting because of their re-
sembIance to man. They have to see
things repeatedly done before them, be-
fore they feel inclination to ape them
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-12-08

he fell to the floor and failed to rise when
the significant timer was called the
victory went to F'itzsimmons.
''At first had to put muzzles on Them
said the trainer. 'They got really in
earnest over the business and would bite
each other and have a real set-to. AS
they do this prize fighting act seven
times each day now, for six days in the
week, it would be bad for them to take
it seriously"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-12-08
Are Difficult to Teach.

"Are monkeys hard to train? Very.
A monkey can mimic, exactly, whatever
he sees a man do, but he has no native
intelligence. You can show him how to
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-12-08

But that thinking
nothing needed much appreciated
much Mighty
u.s. We have all the latest Shoes Slippers
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-12-08

Whl and eddy branches
of the crea Neutrality-suspicious. warmth
and comfort Department is filled with sucb
suggestions How would pair Christmas?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-04-10
KANSAS PARAGRAPHS

One Newton girl looks down on all
the rest of her associates because she got
the pattern hat
boy at Newton was sent to the re-
form school on no specific charge what
ever except pure devilment.
The W. A L L T. c. A. T. G. Y. club
is the most recent distortion of the alpha
bet Tor the name of Winfield club.
A mummy said tc be 5000 years old is
exhibited by a Hutchinson merchant
presumably to make his wares look new.
1t is said the only reason an Atchison
spinster objects to being kissed is because
she is afraid her false teeth will drop out
An Arkansas City minister was versa
tile enough to preach on the F'Origin of
Satan" and "Cherubic Forms" both on
the same day.
Some tramps at Wichita have been ar
rested for peddling pants" No town
can become truly great where her hoboes
call them that
The proprietors of the Times Head
light at Hutchinson have reconsidered
and concluded to call the paper just
plain Democrat.
The Abilene Reflector says the gradu-
| ating essays and dresses of the high
school class are in about the same stage
of Advancement
The only way they can tell whether an
engagement is a sure enough thing at
Atchison is when the girl spends most OF
her time at the dressmakers.
An Emporia paper recalls that one
swallow doesn't make a summer. No,
but one long thirsty summer is RESPONSE
BILE for a great many swallows.
Mrs. Chester I. Long got back to Med
icine Lodge from Washington just in
time to meet Mrs. Jerry Simpson coming
/ to market with basket of eggs.
Three law books have been missed
from the office of a junction City attor-
ney, and it is suspected that some young
man has concluded to set up practice
by himself
The wonderful fossil bones alleged tc
be had at Humb oldt turn out to be just
ordinary whales bones. There has
evidently been some shark business
somewhere.
Careful research has disclosed the rea-
son an Emporia young man takes his
| girl TO church every Sunday night is be-
cause there are only portieres between
the parlor and sitting room at her house
|, Atchison Globe: The story is told tha
an Atchison man was recently invited t
a party where nuts wrapped ia date:
were served. He carefully unwrappeC
each nut and threw the date away, re
marking that was a new way to keeI
nuts fresh, and that the hostess needn'
have gone to all that trouble for him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-04-10
AMONG KANSAS IRRTGAT0Rs.


E D. Lowe of Bird City, Cheyenne
county, is irrigating from a well 244 feet
in depth.
A we'll in Pottawatomie is said to sup
ply fresh water one week and salt water
the next
Water can be reached all over Grant
county for irrigation purposes. at depth
of 20 feet
In Barton county a prospective irriga-
ton canal is causing an advance in the
price of real estate.
A 7. Biggs, who lives near Sylvan
Grove, will irrigate 20 acres with plant
which cost him but $40.
Nineteen new pumping plants for ir-
rigation purposes are said to be under
construction in Finney county.
Thomas Story of Ellsworth county has
built dam across a spring branch and
corralled q thousand barrels of water.
J. Sorem of Hallet in Hodgeman
county, is constructing an irrigation sys-
TEN by damming a creek which runs
through his farm.
More irrigation plants will be built in
Kansas this year than in all the years of
the past. Whether it rains or not, irri-
cation has come to stay.
Alfalfa fields that we're watered during
the winter in Finney county are looking
very fine and the frst crop will be ready
to harvest by the middle of May.
The time was when the growing OF
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-04-10

rily mean cheap material of which to
make it. It means rather the money
given sum of which can be obtain
ed for the least amount of labor.
The advocates of the free coinage of
silver believe that the opening of the
minis would be followed by the opening
of the mines, which would in turn lead
to an increa sed demand for labor and its
products and general rise in prices. If
as a result men who are working for
dollar day or are not working at all,
should be able to obtain two dollars
day, that would mean cheaper money
though the price of bullion remained the
same
The gold standard people will say of
course that there would be no advantage
in this for the laborer, because while re-
ceiving higher wages he would be COM
PEELED to pay correspondingly higher
prices for his necessities, and they
would be right that far, but it
must be remembered that the
same cheapsned dollars will pay just
as much of debts and taxes as the dear
dollars we now use. On but say the
sound moneyites" it is not fair to pay
our obligations in cheapened money.
The answer is that it would only be
righting a wrong. Money has been
made dearer by legislation to the en-
richment of the class receiving fixed in
comes in the way of interest, dividends
and official salaries and to the great
detriment of all others. There is nothing
unfair in demanding restitution. 1t is
only justice.
The greatest of all goods, however,
expected from the coinage of silver is
that the owners of silver bullion after
receiving their coined dollars must do
something with them. They cannot af-
ford to hide them away and they cannot
loan them because there is now plenty of
money to loan. What then? They are
forced to make investments, start enter
prises, build railroads, irrigation systems,
open up farms, start factories. and
thereby furnish employment for those in
enforced idleness. The whole industrial
system would be made to fairly hum and
that is what the free coinage man wants
1t is no consolation to tell poor man
that he can buy more for dollar now
than he ever could unless he can be
shown some way to get the dollar.