Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-10-10

Tnat Is, II we are IN luck.
Washington Star
Little Girl Ito her mamma)--What n
dead letter, please? Mamma-Ons
that has been given to your father to
post-Household Words.
Passenger-That fellow back there 10
raising great row because he has tc
stand. Conductor-Yes; he's riding on
a pass!-Chicago Record.
Cholly Yachtsman-O, could ] be
your mainstay? She docking at the
clock)-You are. No one else stays
after half past 11.-Syracuse Post.
Bixby-what idiots girls are when
they initiate men! Marie (flattered)-
Do you think SO? That proves how
excellent the imitation is.-Truth.
Fogg says they are quite stylish at
his boarding house. The servant Is not
in livery, but the breakfast Is, six
mornings In the week.-Boston Trans
crfpt.
'Why, Mr. Councillor, you are trying
to open the front door with your cigar"
Really, now! / wonder IL I've been
smoking the latch key T-Schome Blaue
Donau-
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. you know,
uncle, dreamt last night that you lent
me $40! Uncle (generously)-Is that
so? All! well, you may keep them,
Ottov-La Perroquet-
Uncie-"YoGi only write me once every
month, when you want money"
Nephew "a student)-"I beg your par
don, uncle; last month ! had to write
twice."-Lustige Batter.
"sIiss- Passe INDUCED I'm somewhat
whitening sarcasm when she was talk
ing Of YOU" 1T is her privilege. poor
thing She is somewhat whitening her.
self."-Ind;anapolis Journal
"Papa, where are the most diamonds
found?" asked Willie. In somebody
else's hand when they are trumps,"
growled papa, who'd been having hard
luck at whist-Harpers Bazaar.
EYES," said the business man to the
clergyman, 1--we lost a good deal Of
time in my life." -'By frittering 1t
away. 1 suppose?' mo, by being pune
tual . to my appointments."-Bo
Courier.
IF deres any invention dat / have
a. profound respeck for" said Move
along Mike, Its de founting-pen."
"Whut's de reason?' inquired Flooding
Pete. ''Dey never Notwithstanding
ton Star.
Hazel-I have. one of the incest dent
lists you ever saw. Nutte-In what
way? Hazel-Why, he pulled out the
wrong tooth the other day and wouldn't
charge me cent for it.--New York
Herald.
Mudge-Another man called me liar
last night Yabsley-What did you do?
well. as he was three sizes bigger
than /, l asked him why he couldn't
say something original. "-IndianapOlis
Journal.
"Ah, but it'sN his good record that
stands in his way" "How?" He has
foolishly always made it a point to pay
cash for everything, and consequently
he hasn't the least bit of credit."-Chi-
cago Evening Post. "a
what was the most confusing case
you ever hadT' asked-the doctor Of the
lawyer. Cease o. champugnes% return
ed the lawyer. II hadn't got half
through it before was all muddled
up."-Harper's Bazaar.
For various reasons men go to the sea,
And manifold benefits CLEAN;
But fair woman's reason Is best, you'll
She goes to the sea to. be seen
Brooklyn life.
Ever have any trouble with your
wheelT' mot yet" said the Sweet
Young. Thing. $50 far whenever have
run over anyone have been able to
get away before he got up."-Indiana-
polls Journal
In Boston, OF course: Hicks-"But,
really. what kind Of looking girl Is
this Miss BeekonY' Wfcks-"Welr I
can hardly say; you see, she didn't
have her glasses on the day / saw her."
Boston Transcript.
If you have anything to say, why
don't You say 1t, and be done with it?"
Il nevef east my pearls before swine"
"Well, don't know as can blame you;
1t would be an insult to the swine."-
Boston Transcript.
There's money in Stocks" said the
man who Is young and enthusiastic.
"Yes," replied his seasoned friend, I'm
sure there Is. have been putting half
my salary there for the last four years,
and It's all there yet"-Washington
Star. r.
Cheerup Ito Tom Hardup, who has a
lot of bad debts and no money, but
who is the only heir Of very old, very
healthy and very wealthy aunU-"Now
don't get discouraged, Tommy; there is
your Aunt Maria" Tom Hardup-
''Yes, there she is; that's the trouble
Boston Transcript.
Miss Townsend-"Do you find much
difficulty In keeping help here" Mrs
Suburb--"Indeed, yes. 1t Is next to i'm
possible to keep a girl more than .
week." Miss Townsend-"Why is,that
too far from the cityy Mrs. Suburb
-"Oh, no. / think not; but you see we
have only one policeman in the town,
and he's married.
Hospitable.
A peculiar epitaph Is inscribed on a
tombstone in the old churchyard of an
Ohio town Gouovol xVovn, xxcs ~ a -