Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1895-12-25
A Word ms to SANTA Claus.

Can nothing be done for the rehabili-
tatiOn of Santa Claus? We may present
two facts and defy their successful de-
NAL: First, that Santa Claus was a cheer
full old parsonage, whose continued eX-
istence was desirable. Second, that the
present-day child has about as much be-
lief in him as he (the child has in the
dangers Of the second piece OF pie at a
Christmas dinner.
The idea has been put forward By some
thinkers that Santa Claus is out of date
and a relic Of past age. This We deny.
1t Is true. as We have intimated, that
the modern child puts his tongue in his
cheek when he speaks Of Santa Claus. but
this does not arise from the Saints hay-
ing Outlived his usefulness by any means,
Santa Claus was not meant for an age,
but for all time. II comes rather from
Santa Claus's having allowed his meth
DDS TO drop behind the age. He is try
ing TO do business in the old way He
should have realized years ago that he
is not a good business manager. He has
the artistic temperament. and is but ill
fitted 10 grapple with the real problems
of life. Note his ridiculous notion of try
ing 10 keep up his alleged chmney-de-
scending methods, when nine tenths OF
the chimneys IN the land have sunk to
u siX-nch huc.
When stoves and other inclosed and
cast-iron heating apparatus were intro
duced Santa Claus should have changed
his tactics. and If he had had a live
business manager We dare say he would
have done so. Chimneys were once OF
such size that person, even Of the some
what generous proportions of Santa
Claus, could descend them without dilfi-
Guilty, but the troubles which would beset
the way OF even a professional living
skeleton in an attempt 10 stem the con-
tracted and tortuous course OF the sheet
iron sove-pipe Ougnt 10 have been APP
parent 10 the most casual observer. At
least they were apparent TO the child
and he has had his tongue i'm his cheek
ever since the first stove-pipe appeared
whenever the alleged chimney habits OF
Santa Claus have been mentioned
And take, too. the matter OF reindeer;
they should have been dropped long since.
They may be moderately lively cattle as
such things 90, but how do they compare
with steam and electricity, not TO men
ton the bicycle? Yet 1t is observed that
Santa Claus is still allowing the i'm
preston 10 so forth that he travels by
reindeer. Santa Claus should have stuff
ed his reindeer in the chimney and cast
the whole thing away fifty years ago.
But Is il too late for Santa Claus 20
regain MS Olu pOSltlOn. we titHh NOT,
IL the thing is gone at properly. He
must throw overheard his old methods
and bring himself up TO date. He must
devise some way other than the chin
ney to effect his entrance TO the house.
and get something better than lot OF
antler-tossing reindeer for his long and
necessarily somewhat hurried trip about
the world on Cnristmas-Eve. The modern
child is ready, even anxious. to believe
In him If he will only cease coming in
such a questionable shape. Santa Claus
ought TO secure the services of one OF
those enterprising theatrical managers
who sends accounts of their stars abilities
10 the newspaper offices which fairly
glow with their own light and greatly
reduce the gas bills OF editorial rooms.
II one OF these gentlemen could not place
the Saint in his old position then his case
is indeed hopeless.