Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1895-03-21

To see fit will prove us at our best.
Henry Coyle in Boston Transcript
HOW JACK PROPOSED
tits no use, said Jack, throwing
himself into my most comfortable easy
chair, and looking the picture of mis-
cry. "It's not bit of uset'
"What 't?" / asked.
Trying to propose to her, = replied
Jack.
"Why isn't it?'
Because I can'tl' moaned--or,
rather howled-the poor boy, savagely
kicking my waste paper basket over.
"Why can't you?''
because haven't enough pluck. +"
Haven't you?''
''Oh, confound your questionsl''
yelled Jack, tumbling right backward
in his desperation. Its bad enough to
be franticaily in love with the most
beautiful girl who ever lived, and not
possess the courage enough to put the
question, without having to submit to
the cross examination of a Johnny who's
reading for the bar and wants to get
practice in bullyragging witnesses.
tell you. won't answer your internal
questions Isay, concluded Jack stand
ing up, and looking like one of the
witches IN Macbeth, . II won't sub
NIT to itl'
"All right. old man. all right, =
said soothingly. Nobody wants you
! to-
"The fact is, said Jack, sitting down
again and assuming sepulchral tone,
if don't bring it off, I'll-I'lI"-
"What?''
'I'll die of felo-de-se. -
This was being legal with a yenge-
ance. Here was my dear chum-six
months since the brightest, happiest,
merriest fellow i'll London-deepiy in
love with young person called Cissy
q don't to this day know her other
name, Jack never mentioned it,, and
in the depths of despair because he
couldn't bring it off, " if / may use
his own terse phraseology. We held
conversations of this sort about six
times day on an average, but never
before had he threatened to-
1t shall be either by pistol or rope, y
growled Jack hoarsely, and for the mo-
ment | believe he was thoroughly in
earnest.
thought I'd try the cynical, man of
the world method and scoff him out of
his foolishness, so said:
Fancy being knocked over in this
way by a pulling girl, a weak, silly
creature. who isn't even new wom-
an1'
Jack was all on fire in moment
She's not a weak, pulling, silly crea-
ture, and she is new woman, he
shouted, forgetting for the nonce that
it is not altogether desirable thing to
be in love with that feminine novelty.
$50 nowl''
(Parenthetically may ask, Why is
it that people always end up defiances
of this kind with those mystic words,
So now" Why is it?)
Jack, y said, write to her."
Splendid ideal" said Jack, who had
been thinking of different ways Of pro-
posing for six months and now hailed
that of doing it by post as an entirely
one and original idea. Here goes, and
thanks awfully, old chap. for giving me
the tip.
Seizing quite a quire Of notepaper
Jack scribbled and tore up about a doz-
en- proposals in writing Then he turned
round, almost crying, and said that be
couldn t do it that way, and he wouldn't,
and he'd hang himself, and perhaps
then she'd be sorry, and-and-and-
why was he born?
My dear boy, said, laying my
hand on his shoulder in the most father
ly way imaginable, ''let's talk over the
matter quietly. Now, suppose / propose
for you?'
mo-, said Jack. ''She'd think /
was afraid to ask her myself and refuse
me on the spot. No i won't write, and
/ won't do it by proxy. Isn't there some
other way? Why don't you suggest
something. you great. long idiot, in
stead Of sitting there and grinning all
night?''
Now, wasn't grinning. and / had
been suggesting things all the time, SO
naturally | felt much hurt / therefore
curled up and was silent
For some time Jack smoked savagely
without speaking word. After about
20 minutes Of this he laid down his pipe
and began in very apologetic tone:
II say"
"Well?''
Cant you think Of any other way Of
proposing?"
Wear flower which means I love
you. A pansy or crocus or something.
Then, if she wants you, she'll wear one
meaning, Your sentiments are recipro-
Gated -
Don't think much of that way, said
Jack. Know any other?"
Now, have never been in love in
my life, and never intend to be, and SO
found it rather hard to give Jack ad-
vice. However, racked my brains and
at length evolved this startling method:
Propose to her through her fatherr'
'Oh. you hopeless mass OF imbecil-
ityp yelled Jack, bouncing up and
grabbing his hat. How am to do that
when she hasn't got father?''
And he flung himself out of the room
in a towering passion and did not come
1ear me again for quite period. Well,
low was | to know that the wretched
girl hadn't father? Was expected to
seep register of all the births, deaths,
marriages and divorces which occurred
IN those families which contained girls
lack was i'll lova with? No. thank you.
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