The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-05
FUNNY MISTAKES.
Slips of tho Tongue that Are Provocattona
Of Nirth.


Slips of tho Tongue that Are Provocattonl
Of Mir,h-
Heterophemy. the curious disease
which consists in using one word wher
meaning to use an entirely differe n!
one. gives rise to many amusing comb
nations. An oldlady in a town on the
Hudson river is thus afflicted. She il
tall and stately in appearance, couftlJ
and gracious in manner, and this
makes her. homogeneous sentences all
the more ridiculous Strange to say
she herself is totally unconscious O
her infirmity, for the family, friends
and even the servants endeavor u
save her from the modification she
would feel.
Not long ago, when she recovered
from serious illness, the bishop o
the diocese CHANGED to be making hi.
annual visitation, and at the sagges
tion of the rector they went together
to call upon Mrs. Drew
She was delighted to see them, and
entertained them with her usual grace
and cordiaIity. The conversation nat
urally touched upon her illness, AMI
her thankfuiness at her recovery.
which for time had heen despaired of.
Presently she turned TO the bishop,
saying earnestly. MY dear bishop
let us have a little drop"
The startled prelate glanc ed at the
rector. He, knowing his old friends
infirmity, cast about in his mind fol
her probable meaning.
Bishop" repeated the old lady seri-
oussy, lets have little drop"
Ger tainly, Mrs. Drew" interrupted
the rector, waiting for her TO make
some move which might disclose her
meaning But Mrs. Drew waited ex-
pectantly also.
'If You have not your Wade Mccum
with you, there is prayer book" she
said, after a minute.
The rector. with a sigh of relief
turned TO the bishop. MRS. Drew
viii be glad to have you read prayers
with her," he said quietly.
Prayers were read. ard then the gem
tlcmen prepared to take leave.
"Your visit has been ! pleasure, y
Mrs. Drew said warmly. Now, Mr..
Belknap, won't you take this little
boy home to your dear wife, with my
best love"
For moment Mr.. BeIknap won
dered il she could mean the bishop,
but she relieved his mind by lifting q
magnificent bunch of roses from vase
on the table.
Allied to this is another form of mis-
speech, to which most of us are occa-
sionally SUBJECTIVE extent of the syl-
tables. A certain young lady. often
reverses her novels thus, says she Is
entirely unconscious of it, even after
speaking.
One summer evening size was saun-
tering with friend toward the viii
lage post Office of little town where
they were staying. On the way they
encountered an acquaintance with a
hand full of letters.
'Ah. good evening" she said. in her
peculiarly gracious, suave manner.
Are yon strolling ont of your mole
lole?"
The mystifiea young woman made
some inarticuiate reply and passed on.
As soon as the friend could recover her
gravity, she gasped, II suppose You in
tended to ask Miss May If she was
strotiing out for her mait?r
The same young lady was relating
sad story of various misfortunes which
had overwhelmed her dear friend.
Think, she concluded patheticalIy,
''of losing husband, children. proper
ty and home at one swell foop.' And
u howl of laughter rent the roof. AT
tantic.