Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1895-12-21
DOOLEY ON THE JURY,
How the Philosopher Dealt With q
Stubborn Jurymnn.

stubborn Jurymnn.
From the Chicago Times Herald.
Il haven't seen you lately" said Mr.. Nc
Kenna.
Sure" said Mr.. Dooley, 81 haven't had
time to be colloquin with tn likes iv you,
Jawn, or wastin' me intellect on me own
business. I've been tindin' to tn inthrists
iv me country an ladlin' out justice be tn
huckitful. I've been on jury
IF you'd asked me, I'd got you off," said
Mr.. McKenna.
I'VE wud not, thin" retorted Mr.. Dooley,
sternly. I'm citizen iy this here town in
good standin' an 1 have me rights. Wan Nv
thin is to be dragged downtown to admin
lister tn law an l wint with a kind heart to
it.
Twas befure me Oh frind Hogan an
tn thrle was wan iv tn mos momintyous
that was liver known. Twas this way: A
n an named Schmidt, a German man, had
wurruds with a Kerry man be tn name Nv
Dorsey over COW an Dorsey he toll tn
reighbors that Schmidt, this mere German
man. was so-an'-so an this-an'-that an
Schmidt hired a awyer be tn rame iv Cas-
sidy to bring suit. Dorsey he got German
lawyer called Krootzmeyer FIR to difind hun
an they took their conners an called Inc an
ilivin other la-ads FIR to sttle tn matther.
TIL charge was defamation Nv charak-ter."
whats that you say? asked Mr.. Mcken-
ma.
Why" said Mr.. Dooley, Schmidt swore
Cassidy attacted his charak-ter. Anyhow,
twas thrile FIR yeer life. Cassidy argued
twas shame FIR even an 1riSnman to go
around disthroyn' tn charakter iv dacint
German an Krootzmeyer pointed out that
twas thrait iv tn race to be outspoken.
Schmidt's witnesses were near all iv tn
right sort an they swore to prove what
Dorsey said an Dorsey had twinty German
min rr to prove that what Dorsey said was
thrue an that Schmidt stole tn COW. Cas-
sidy called Krootzmeyer liar twict durin
r. 1rila avn II h In haC rot
through his argymint twas his intintion FIR
to kick hole through Cassidy. That looked
fair enough 1 thought but tn coort, his
honor. Judge Hogan said he'd tine thin both
If ayther iv them come to blows in tn room.
III say this, though, he wint on, that If
tn gintleman does right he'll wait till he
gets outside an thin put tn boots into his
larned brother IN note an ixciption,' says
Cassidy. If ye'er honor PLACE it's not in tn
breed iv Brother Krootzmeyer to muss me
up ayether,' he says, 'accordin' to Coke or
Queensberry, Blackstun or Bill Bradburn,
he says.
..They give us TIL case in tn afternoon
an we ma-arched out 1 had me mind made
up. Dorsey give me tn office durin' tn
thrile an 1 recognized him to be wan iv
TIL" here Mr.. Dooley lowered his voice to
a whisper.
You don't say" said Mr. McKenna, with
But" said Mr. Dooley, 9TH German was
sthrong, too. He belonged to TIL (whis-
GLORY ber' cried Mr.. McKenna, in amaze
nent us that so?"
1T is; an twas hard case to decide. I
stuck be Dorsey, though. We set down in
tn room an wan Nv tn Jurors says: Well
here we are. We have to have foreman
L sh'd say not says man named Nc
CURE. IT'S too much like wurruk.' But
says tn other man, I'm a professional jury
man. he says AN l know it, We've got
to have a foreman We ilicted tn man to
tn job. an thin we had vote on tn var
dick. They was six votes FIR Dorsey an
five FIR Schmidt One OIL man with bald
head voted FIR to convict tn lawyers, but
he changed to my side whin 1 tor him tn
law. Well, we a'argyed 1t out, an our side
was tn stronger. On tn mex to tn las
vote twas iliven to wan. an tn wan was a
little man with long whiskers He shtud
out brave FIR Schmidt. He'd have nawthin'
else. Will ye be a fool all yeer life?' says
l. We're iivin to wan l says. Faith,
says he, I've lived all me life in a Swede
ward he says. But says tn foreman
don't we believe Schmidt stole TIL cow Nv
coorse.' says tn blockhead. But what tn
divvil did tn little lawyer stand tn lie
FRI says he. Sure, if it'd been me I'd We
rolled him if twas in tn coort iv tn
O'Donnells lave alone Hogan's shop Are
We goin to keep us here all night? said tn
foreman. 'Divvil tn bit I care says TIL
lad. I'm not keepin' ye,' he says. TIL
folks is out iv town, were paid be tn day,
an 1 was wanst night Waterman an
cud sleep on tn top Nv pole
well he was a stubborn man, but
knowed him years ago, an I'd heerd he was
bit iv a ca-ard player. Jawn. Now, look
here says l. IT'S no use keepin us out w
bed all night, little man. says I. I'll tell
We what I'll do I says. I'll play ye wan
game iv swim up 1 says I have ye,' Gays
he. An We wint at it. At tn ind Nv tn
third hand twas six-and-six, an he give
me tn cards to dale. TIL foreman made out
a vardick FIR Dorsey"
How was that?'' Mr.. McKenna asked.
"Jawn," said Mr. Dooley, sole1nnly, "in tn
INTERESTS " law an justice an not to skin
tn little man, but to uphold tn Constitu-
ton, l turned tn jack"