The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1895-10-17
TRIBU ETS.
A FANTASIA OF FOOTBALL.

| The football boy is in the field;
o, here's to his ropy hairi
He has gritted his teeth and he's out on the heath
| With blood to spill and spare.
| lie has pads on his legs and muffs on his ears,
And a shield across his nose,
And he dives in the game with eye OF flame.
And massacres his foes
o, hurrsh SIR the lad with the lusty legs
And the glad yociferous shout;
Football lie play in the orthodox way.
Aud kick your front teeth out.
The football boy is out for bloodi
o.. here's TO the leathery jswl
He smash all his bones. break his face on the
stones,
And then sing out for more
He has Drawn in his arms and thews in his thighs
And muscle all over his frame;
He knock you dead with butt OF his head.
Aud froIic OH just the same.
o, hurrah for the lad with the iron chest
And the hnyriek of shaggy hair
May lie trampe aud pound all his foes In the
ground
And make merry at their despair.
The football boys again on deck;
%. here's To his ardor hotl
He would crack all your ribs, would his festive
nibs,
Ses, just as soon a mott
Your chest he will crush with one soulful thump
OF his fairy foot, you bet
And won't give n - If your whole diaphragm
He skaters, without regret.
o, hurrah for the lad with the Iivid jowl,
Who's out for CRIME and gorei
May he kill all his foes with n kick in the nose
For that's what we're living for
WANT COLUMN.
WANTED-A pleasant. convenient method
of getting back into the Republican party,
without any jolt. or attracting too much atten-
ton. Address, with full plans and specifics-
tions. w. A. PETER, u. S. Senate.
WANTED-Immediatel some infallible
Anti-Fat Specific which will reduce the weight
of the Republican party at least two-thrds
before Nov. II. Price no object for certain
remedy. Address c. S. Brice, Lima, o., or
New York.
WANTED-A literary genius to frame
Constitutional clause which will absolutely
prohibit negro from voting in South Caro-
lima, and yet comply with the Constitution of
the United States. Big money for the right
kind of clause. Address Ben Tillman, Co
lumbia,.S. C.
WANTED-Somebody to hypnotic Teddy
Roosevelt and DIR. Parkhurst until after cleo
ton. Liberal reward Tor effective work Ad-
dress ID. Il. Hill, Tammany, N. Y.
@@a
believe in Sunday laws as much as any
man. am strenuous advocate of the Sunday
closing of drinking places and the prohibition
of all common labor, public games, etc. But |
really think that those excessively pious Con- |
neclicut people, who every Saturday night |
strew lacks along a road much frequented on |
Sunday by bicyclers, should be given an adj |
monition on the rights of others by the hand |
OF the law. OF course, hicyclers can make as
much of a nuisance of themselves on Sunday
rs baseball players, and they frequently do,
but shat is not the way to repress them. Every
man and woman has az much right to ride his
or her wheel on Sunday a has TO ride
his horse or drive his carriage. That he or she
should not indulge in boisterOus racing, with
crowds of spectators loud cheering, etc. on
Sunday should not be tolerated any more than
a similar performance with horses. But there
is better way to prevent this than by MUIR
ing the wheels of innocent and guilty alike.
Rs.
Why don't Corbett and Fitzsimmons try
Cuba, Honduras, Greenland, or the North Pole
81
An odd scheme of raising money was tried
1t the Baptist Church in Saco. Me-, two Sun.
lays ago. Every person present was asked to
,ut in plain envelope as many cents, or their
Equivalent. as the giver had years. The en-
7elopes were not marked for Identification,
md the givers were put on their honor not to
heat the church by msstating their age. The
esults were satisfactory.
The latest namo for wheel-woman is
'cyclestrienue" It's French. you know.
The average cost of making a frst.class BIZ
ycle is said to be less than $40
Sc
Boston University has Joined the Anti-To-
aeconists Students must either give up the
SO of tobacco entirely or leave the institution.
So
The long discussion is over, the brilliant
Drensic display is ended, and the title is to
ontinue to be THAT part of the Catholic
hurch known in law as the Protestant Epis-
opal Church." with tho senior Bishop at its
cad with title of "Primus." Thus every
ishop, if he live long enough, will have his
arm as head of the Episcopal Church in
merica.
Truth: Parishioner-Do you think there is
ny valid objection 10 fishing on Sunday?
Pastor-I do A man who goes fishing on
unday often finds it very difficult to tell the
ruth on MondayP
DIVORCE OF AMELIE RIvEs CHANLER.
Miss Amelie Rives was a young lady of some |
literary ability and wild longing to be re.
ardcd genius. She cultivated her liter
ry talents with considerable assiduity, but
'orksd still harder to develop personal eccen-
-icities in which she made the usual mistake
mediocre young people, who think that &c
,ntricities develop young genius, whereas it is
equently genius that develops eccentricity.
hus, aspiring young lawyers used to think :
ecauss Clay and Webster were victims to alco-
olism. They could not be made to understand
lat the love of liquor was frightful drawback
both those great men, and it was marvellous !.
lat they did SO we'll, in spite of what would
ave com pletely crushed weaker men.
Miss Rives wrote some things which were =
ad than q pnual NTba Ouink | =