The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1895-05-22

est and happlest place on eartn.
We never knew person who was
not saturated with some fool notion.
The State Of Texas is now insol-
vent. The treasurer has paid out the
last dollar and there is still shortage
of s504,0O
According to the Medical Record,
caster oil has not failed in any case to
remove warts to which it was applied
once day for two to six weeks.
= One Of the religious papers an
swers a query as to the true posture
for prayer in this wise: "The only
posture to be avoided is imposture. "
"A pious man is never sure he
will not do something that will send
him to hell until he dies, and then
nobody knows whether he is saved or
not.
A lady of Paris, KY, sold a va
cant lot in Chicago the other day for
$4,000. The lot was accepted a few
years ago in payment Of debt Of
$500.
General Booth, of the Salvation
Army, has followed the example of
Pope Leo, XIII, in forbidding members
Of the organization to join secret soci-
eties.
- Profound observers have remark
ed that when man don't know any
thing, he is singularly apt to disclose
the fact whenever he has an oppor-
tunity.
= Are blacksmiths who make liv-
ing by forging, or carpenters who do
little counterfeiting, any worse than
other men who sell iron and steel for
living?
In spite of all this talk about Sun
safe" money and "Aat' money, every
body seems to be dead willing to get
hold of any kind Of money, if obtained
honestly.
"I.rise to a question of personal
privilege" exclaimed an agitated lady
member Of the Colorado Legislature,
addressing the Speaker. "Is my hat
on straight"
She: "You must ask father for
his consent" He: "He won't give
it to me-" She "Why not?" He:
"He's too close. He never gave any
thing to anybody in his life. !"
The man who boasts that he
works with his head instead of his
hands is respectfully reminded that
the woodpecker does the same, and is
the biggest kind Of bore at that.
"Listen to the Mocking Bird
was written forty years ago last week.
The composer, Septimus Winner, is
still receiving royalties from it, as the
copyright does not expire until 1897.
She-Why do you look so un-
happy, George Don't you know
that we are one now Z? eyes, darling,
I know that; but judging from the
hotel bill I've just had handed to me,
the manager doesn't 'tseem to think so. :"
Wife: "John, dear, what would
you do if I we're to die ?" Husband :
"Don't speak Of such thing |
would be desperate. "Do you think
you would marry again p "Well,
no; I don't think / would be as des-
perate as that"
"Can you cook, knit and do plain
sewing, dear?" said the Emancipated
Young Woman to the loving young
man upon whom she had been bestow-
ing her attention. eyes" was the
timid reply. 'Then be mine!' ex-
claimed the impetuous lover.
"He who waits to do great deal
Of good at once will never do any
thing" Life is made up of little
things. 1t is but once in an age that
occasion is offered for a great deed.
True greatness consists in being great
in little things.
= Mrs. Crimsonbeak-Why is it,
wonder, that woman will always turn
to the end of novel and read the last
page before reading the other part OF
it. Mr.. Crimsonbeak- Her propen-
sity to get the last word, 1 suppose,
leads her to do it.
There is disagreement between
the two daughters Of the late Prof.
Swing of Chicago as to final disposi-
tion Of the body. Mrs. Kicker wants
it buried by the side Of his wife, in
Oxford, Ohio, while Mrs. Starring
wants it buried here. The courts will
decide.
A young Spartanburg bachelor is
steadfastly opposed to woman suffrage.
He seems to think that if they are al
lowed to vote, they will crowd the
Legislature and pass a law taxing all
men very heavily who remain unmar-
ried after they arc twenty-five years
old.
y Mrs. Quickleigh: "The first man
who ever proposed to me said that if
1 would not marry him he would blow
his brains OUT Miss Wonder
ffn IT, waved bouo hoop