The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-02-10
DAWN OF A NEW ERA.
Beneficent Measures That May Fol-
low the Tall Hat Legislation.
Nam Xnrlr Trihl1no

New York Tribune.
There is no doubt about it. This legis-
lative campaign against the theater hat Is
q big thing, almost as big as the hat itself.
Already it is raging in three States, and
where. Even in its present stage it must
be recognized as one of the most promising
and sngg w,tb,e , moyem as Mr. OF u tna age wo,, II
say, the promise and potency of almost in
finite reform. Its most immediate effect, Of
course, will be a vast renascence. of dra-
the deplorable decadence of the stage is due
well-nigh exclusively to the big hats which
vent any member of the audience back of
the front row from seeing anything what
eseF felt Sn f free s to pat ON ma ali sorts Of 5nf infepior
plays. Why not? No one can see and few
can hear them. But once abolish the big
hats and let the audience see what Is on
the stage and a thorough reform Will be
effected. The people. IL they could see,
would not for one hour tolerate the inferior
behind an impenetrable screen of millinery
Abolish the hats, and We. shall forthwith
have new ShakspeareS and Sneridans, and
a whole army of Siddonses and Garricks,
Booths and Nelson's.
The great reform. howe Ter VIII surrey
cent principle will be extended to other de-
partments of human interest. For example.
the collar button. II we regulate by law
the size of the hat, why not also regulate,
or. rather. abolish, the button? 1t is per-
the collar button is doing more than ali
other evil agencies united 10 sap the founda-
lions of social order and to destroy the
moral and physical stamina of the race.
According to the best availa BILE statistics,
in the United States some nine million men
spend each morning of their lives an aver
age OF fifty-five minutes on their hands and
knees searching for elusive collar buttons.
That is a total of $4,000 hours of time
wasted every day, or one million men kept
idle all day long. Indeed, the time is even
worse than wasted. Each man is estimated
to bump his head against the furniture sew
enteen times in each days quest. That
means 153,0 400 COO bumps a day, making an
awful aggregate of Injury to physical tissue.
Moreover. for each pump, according to the
census, a man utters at least four exple-
tives, more or less profane. There is thus
a macltinal chorus of 6l2,0 900 cuss words
arising every day. Can any one doubt that
the effect upon our national morals is shock
ing in the extreneT Or can any conscien-
tious legislator consent to fool away his
time over the silver question, or the tariff
question, or any other such bagatelle. so
long as the collar-outton question confronts
us?
Then, again, there is the umbrella. Few
people realize how great a part it Is play
ing in the worldwide tragedy OF human
woe. There is, of course, no one who has
not suffered from it. But, through a strange
be the only one. That is, perhaps. because
he has only one eye. and therefore takes
partial views of things. Jnhappily. he is
not the only one. There are others. All
that we spend half our time climbing stairs.
and that every man. woman and dude car
ries an umbrella horizontally. The rest of
the story Is simple enough. Ii is to be read
stairways 10 sweep up and cart away the
~gouged-out eyes which fall in inceSsant
showers. IN the vast blocks of glass-eye
factories which rise on every hand. a in