The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-07-09
The Glorious Fourth Out on the Neuse--
Mrs. Bilkins is Fireworks Herself
Zeke's Grafton.

~ G4OL4OuS SuG I'LL Viz SN~SS~
Mrs. Bilkins is Fireworks Herself
Zeke's Grafton.
B.-"HeIlol Mr.. Editor"
R.-"HeIlol Major. Did you cele-
brate the Fourth of July in due form7'
Bot course 1 did. Inever fail ter
edo that in guide shape"
R-''You had fireworks, crackers,
speeches, barbecue, and everything else,
did youG"
B.-"Yes, awl the appearances were
on hand. But I didn't buy anything IN
the way of fireworks. 1 wuz in town
Tuesday, an sum ov the fellows wanted
ter sell me sum crackers an Roman
candles an SIGH, butt tole EN- the
woods are Hhf0v Pops now, an SO far
IS their Roman candles an red an
streaked fireworks are c~onsarned, L heV
'em at home. Betsy il awl the fire
works and chain Iightnin' a.man with
only two ewes wants ter try ter loo at
on the Fourth or any other time. She
ia whole owreallis, circus, menagery,
balloon assenshun an sham battle by
herself. When she gifts mad she is
equal to a sighclone. If l we're to ex
claim, "Give me liberty Or give me
death" it wouldn't be liberty I'd git.
She says a goldbug amt entitled ter
emmy liberty, an if he amt nifty igno
rant death is too guide fer him"
R.-"Did you deliver an orationG'
B.-"Yes, I got a crowd together at
Hunters School House an fired sum
solid Democracy into 'em. Ny subject
wuz: Democracy VS.. Clevelandism.'
Sam Tinker lowed that I'd git things
mixed if I didn't watch, but l didn't.
You kin awlways depend on a poler-
tishun like me keepin' things in guide
shape. 1 began my speech as follows:
Ladies an Gentlemen, an Teller
DymGkrGts:
We are here terday fer a CRATE OBJ
ject. Jist one hundred years ago ter
day Kurnel Walter Raleigh wuz born
where the city ov Raleigh o stands
He wuz the first dymakrat whut ever
saw the light on Amerikin soil. 1t is
handed down ter US frum tradishun
that Walter cried fer a postoffis when
he wuz only two weeks old, an that he
made speeches promisin' ter reduse the
the tariff, give free coinage ov silver
an cut off pensions when he Wuz only
ten years old. Be that as it may,
ladies an gentlemen an Teller dyma
krats, he has left a CRATE %posterity.
His descendants are now as numerous
as the leaves ov the trees. If we kin
git enuf ov EN- tergether next YET r
we will redeem the State an do the
State printin' ergin. Methinks 1 kin
already see us as we meet together in
State Convention an adopt the Popu-
list platform and nominate Kurnel
Kope E las fer Governor, he bein' a
Cleveland man, or vice versy. Ny
subject, Democracy VS.. Cevelandism,
may sound a little strange ter you,
nabors, but if any ov you is fer sound
money you will not be alarmed at
strange an curious sounds. In these
stormy days we must git use ter mys-
terious sounds. 1t would appear strange
to sum ov yer Pops were I to tell you
that an ice factory is the place ter GO
and git warm on a cold day, but that
isbekase you hev bin misled by ofiis
huntin' leaders. You can't understand
why the way ter make money plenti
full is ter quit maxim it, hence yol
can'G grasp the situation when l nam
my speech Democracy VS. Cleveland
ism" Your corrupt leaders tell yol
that the Dymakratic President, Senat
and Congress demonetiz9d silver onl.
q little over a year ago, an tell yo'
that it is folly to stay in the Dyme
kratic party if you want silver remor
cited. Wy, ladies an gentlemen, al
feller Dymakrats, if we hadn't demon
cited silver there wouldn't have bi
no use in clamorin' fer i5 ter be remont
tized. Elect US Dymakrats ergfn a
we'll demonetiz3 silver over ergin al
then denounce it as the crime ov th
age an ask you ter elect us go We ca
make another campain issue. That
why Democracy vs.. Cievelandism
the greatest party on earth. We XII
do enuf devilment in Washington j
n year ter make campain materia
fer ten years. By this time the crow
had awl gone over ter where the be-
oecue was cookin', an I s1on close
With a beautiful little burst of ell
4uehce about the advantages ov a gol
standard as a strife promoter. Cue
bve.'"
LET % C(