The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1895-10-11
Chains Don't Cham.

measure was the only present solu-
tlol Of the drink question. went
home, retired and dreamed.
thought our telephone wire in some
manner became crossed with one
the cxistenc of which | had never
suspected. The bell rang; listen
ed; the conversation wa, as follows:
Hello, heaven. ~
'Ilello."
"Who is it spcaking?"
Gabriel y
"All right; this il Satan, Where
is your Mastcr?"
'lle is engaged y
'AlI right. Say, do YOU think
He still counts on claiming me for
thousand years."
"Ycs, Hcd,cs. You are making
an unu-al amount Of trouble. You
are destroying manhood, woman
hood, childhood, home and country.
You are filling the earth with pow
crty and crime, to the great injury
of the pure and innocent, and Just
as : non IA the chains are ready, on
they 90.
"Oh. what are you talking
about?'
"Fact. ~
.Sav.'
.'What?"
-Say, now don't you know lie
can't stop me-?
''YcS, we can. We propose to
absolutely prohibit your doing any
more mischief. +"
Say, now, don't you know that
chains won't chain? In other words.
prohibition won't prohibit use
the word, Of your servants, the min
isters. I'll admit He can hamper
me, and rather than be bothered
with chains | would be willing to
come to some kind OF an agreement.
See?"
"No; what do YOU mean?'
"Whv, hem. agree on some plan
or rules for regulating my work. Or
| will pay something as license to
do business. Or, if not made too
onorouS. combine the two. y
..Ah Ia that's the idea, is it,"
eyes, | would rather sacrifice
some Of my personal liberty than
to be loaded with chains; and, be-
sides, it would be better for you
folks, as you can't stop me anyway,
because chains don't chain
swell, what is the proposition?'
ellen /, III be liberal. You have
Just laid out a new addition to your
celestial city, | believer
'lesthcHighland Park addition
one hundred thousand lots and iif-
teen hundred miles Of Streets
SCOT the streets paved?"
.No.'
"What?'
"I'll tell you what; I'll start my
smeltcr and furnish you gold enough
to pave those streets, and III agree
to close up at eleven o clock at nigh,
keep closed on Sunday. (sotto vol G,
except side door, and l'llnot inter
fcre with minors, or confirmed or
habitual sinners. What do you say?
Amt that liberal? | am sure il
would be better. Its good restric-
tive measure, the best that can be
done under the present state Of pub
lie opinion. tell you chains wont
chain"
A sudden thunder clap awoke me
with start. | was dripping wet
with pcrspiration. For moment |
could not collect my senses; then
thought, such a dream But it Isl
not more unreasonable than for
Christian peoplc--thc church of
Christ to take tribute in license
fees from the saloon--thc earthly
type Of Satan and his kingdom.
A bad man generally hates good
dog.
To listen to doubt is to listen to
a devil
No mans character is any better
than word.
The cloven foot is often covered
with patent leather.
The devil is not afraid Of your
Bible il there is dust on it.
II doesn't take bit Of meanncss
out Of a rascal TO polish him.
Prohibition should be made party
principle, not party policy.
To b. slow to anger i better than
to own the bast kind Of seven
shooter.
The survival OF the fittest is the
doctrine that always wins dog
fight.