The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1895-05-03


prayers came on the same morning.
but 1t Was not quite satisfac' DRY, for
there were two baby brothers and
only one rabbit. Robbie was greatly
dlsgusted at The mistake. The next
dav his father found the following
notice tackled to the gate post.
FOR SAIL.
Que nice fat baby, or will swap
him for hite Rtb-Ret.
"You are at your best now, Cyrus, ;"
said his uncle, ''and just about the
right age for marryin-. You ought
to make hay while the sun shines.
Cyrus Immediately put on his hat,
went out of the house and proposed
Is minu es later to grass witow.
A lecturer gave utterance TO the
following: "All along the untrodden
paths of the future we can see the
hidden footprints of an unseen Hand. :
At another time he exclaimed: Eve
pursue the shadow, the bubble bursts
and leaves the ashes in our hands
A certain politician condemn ng he
government for its r, cent policy con-
corning the income tax. said: "They Il!
keep cutting wool off the sheep that
lays the golden eggs until they pump
it dry
Matt d. SNOWFALL, the colol ed
domestic in a eyas family was suspect.
ed of helping herself to some wine.
Gown mp, Ma Ida that you have be- II
drinking out of this bottle of Rhine
wine," said the lady of the hons "No
mum, | nebber has been near dat
bottle care you sure?' COB course
is. k@tch ne a drinkin dat ar sour
stuff wha' Fuckers up yer mont. No
mum. has got better sense dan da'
ar.
A stranger once walked into a court
and spent some time watching the
proceedings. By and by a man was
brought up for contempt Of court and
fined whereupon the stranger rose and
said 'sHow much was that tine?' Gone
pound replied the clerk. "Well, :"
sail the stranger, laying down the
money, if that's all, Id like to jine
in. I've had few hours' experience
in this court and no one can feel a
greater contempt for it than | do.
sWell, mother" said the young
sailor home after his first voyage, Il
have seen flying fish, "Oh no, my
SON. replied the woman; don't try
to foo your mother like that. You
may have seen some queer things, but
don't believed any s'ories of flying
fish, So the sailor changed over to
another tack. '.When we were in the
Red sea one day we fshed up on the
flukes of our anchor chariot wheel
that belonged to Pharaoh's host. which
was lost when the wat rs swallowed
them up 'Oh how [ should have
liked to have been there to see it, ex-
claimed the good old soul in delight.
(Which would you rather be, Willie
monkey or eiratfe:' ''Glraffe
every time. 1t would be bully in the
summer time for looking over the
baseball fence
Glow far can You 90 in day on
your machine jimmy inquired his
friend. Il can't go outside of the
county with it, replied the boy with
the new bicyce. II isn't all paid for
yet"
Uncle Jack: Well, Madge can you
CONT as high as your big sister? Madge
SADLY: fink TODD, but when | diets
IS far as 'leven | loses my breff.
Mamma: Sally, If you had little
spunk you'd S and better in your class
DO you know what spunk is? Sally
(moodily): | suppose it is the past
participle of Spank mamma.
Weary Walker: Say, mister, gimme
a dime? Dignified Wayfarer: Give you
Il dime. think You are more in need
Of manners than money.
Weary Walker: We'll | struck yer fer
what | thought We had most nv.
"N hat was the explosion | heard a
few moments ago? asked the head of
the house.
Gone of Miss Charlote's pneumatic
sleeves was blown up too tight and
burst sir" replied the servant; "l've
just telephoned for TWO surgeons, the
ambulance and seven reporters
Cora: Where could st. Patrick have
done more good than in Ireland.
Merritt: In the garden of Ed n.
Mrs. Hamfat: Your daughter sings
beautifully. Is she studying musics
Mrs Sparerlb: Indeed she She is
studying to be bella-donna.
PROF Claims Harold: Yes, AuntIe
Connie, | do love you very much; but
love mamma better" (Apologericallv
You see | met her frs,
CkBONE.