Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1895-02-24
LAWYERS EPISODES.
AMUSING jokes ny LEGAL LIGHTS
OF SOUTHWEST VIRGINIA.
How Judge Johnson Played Cry
Ing Baby on Colonel Uumes-The
Judge, n Pawpaw, md Hog-b"a
Handwriting of Judge Burnes.

them in the decade Immediately preceding
the civil war. The profession here en-
braced many prominent lights at tha'
time. such as Judge Peter Johnston Col
onel James Humes. Judge william T..
Burnes. and Judge W. u. Aston, all OF
whom have long since gone TO the court
of final resort, Judge Aston, whose peace-
full and handsome home looked out over
the bluegrass fields Of Russell. being inc
last to 90. The practice was on hish
plane at that day. courteous and manly
dignity characterizng the proceedings
in court. and a deep and wholesome Know
ledge OF the law bearing the banner oi
justice high and spotless. But those goou
men were not aveTse TO a little hartnlesS
amusement in the way Of practical Iohes'
In fact. victimizing each other In thls
way seems to have been their chief DIVER
sion on the long rides over hills ana
mountains In going to and from the diner
ent Courthouse
a CRYING BABY.
On one occasion Judge Johnston, Judge
Aston. Colonel Humes. and some DINERS
stopped at n roadside inn early one AFTER
noon for the purpose OF remaining over
night. II happened that the COOK was
absent and the good lady OF the mousse
was compelled 10 do all the work herseii
I'm addition to nursing a very cross paDy.
II there was anything In the world That
Colonel Humes detested with any degree
OF perfection II was a crying BABY. tuh-
ming old Johnston saw an opportunity
here for some fun. and assuming serious
expression. kindly volunteered TO take
care OF the youngster awhile Hls cooihg
and drollery coon pacihed the infant ana
the good woman hustled down TO the
spring house to cburn. "for II Would
never do 10 set the lawyers down 10 'he
table without butter" Scarcely had she
gone when Johnston requested huines 10
hold the baby a few minutes while ne
and the other lawyers went out TO see
about their horses. They had gone but a
few steps when the infant proceeded
to demonstrate the power OF It's lungs IN
81 way that was simply maddehihg 70
the mckless victim. Up and down inc
room he walked. trying to quiet the TER
ror." while his companions reclined' con-
vulsed with laughter. in the shade OF
distant apple tree. When they returned
an hour later they found the looking
glass broken. several chairs turned over
the Cooners spectscles lying in bits on
the floor, and that irate gentleman trying
TO amuse the infant h. standing II on its
head.
EATING a PAWPAW.
Johnston was n ready wit one day he
and Judge Burnes were riding along on
IN eir way to Lee Court. when they came
to a pawpaw patch. Johnston saw some
nice. ripe ones on the ground and got
down and commenced eating them. gene
rously Offering to hand up some to
Burnes.
THANK YOU" said Burnes; Il do not eat
them. why. n hog won't eat a pawpaw. y
Every WE'LL" replied Johnston sucking
away at the luscious fruit, (which OF us
f. the most like a hOgY'
Eccentric old Peter spent many OF his
earlier years in a clerks office. and per
hsps no man In the State understood
more completely the duties OF n clerk or
the details Of an Office than he did. In
his attendance upon the different courts
IL he ran upon a new clerk he was very
kind I'm giving him instruction and as
slstance seeming TO derive great pleasure
therefrom, and In this way h. greatly en-
deared himself TO that overworked class
of public servants.
LEARNED A LESSON.
On one occasion he found the Clerk OF
Russell county i'll and a young man In
the Office who knew very little about the
business judge Johnston at once yolun-
teered to assist the youth, TO the great
delight OF tn whole court. lie sat down
Mt desk and began work. The young
man looked over his shoulder and In a
few minutes stopped him. asking him II
he wasn't wrong. Instantly dropping his
pen ne sprang up and walked out. saying
that tho young man already knew too
much. Upon the solicitation Of the law
yers and the apology Of the young man
| he went back, however. and worked faith
! fully N the desk through the court. But
! the young man learned a lesson that day
he never forgot and became In time an
| efficient as well as most courteous clerk
judge Johnston often spent the summer
| al the Holston Springs. n delightful re
treat on the placid north fork - liolston
river now the property OF eX-Attorney'
| General Ayers. While there he spent
| much Of his time walking about the coun'
| try, mailing the farmers In the furrow,
| and beguiling the tedlum OF their labor
with his pleasant anecdotes. Everybody
was glad TO see him coming. and the older
citizens Of that community stu revere
| his memory. The good man has for many
| years slept with his fathers, but better
| or drawer heart than his never beat II
| the bosom OF even his illustrious brother
| 1tlti ~ JN0'Ih - "'A''''N''
WROTE A BAD HAND.
Judge Burnes was n native OF Kentucky
| and located at Russell Courthouse
| think. Just a few years before the war
| lie was recognized as one OF tho great
| est lawyers of all the circuit and wa
| retained in all the important cases; ou
! he wrote a remarkably bad hand. once
| he prepared bill and filed ii with th'
| - - Ian
| IT, When the Judge came 10 the cour
| again the bill was handed him in th'
! courtroom, with the request that he reaC
| It, He looked at 1t moment, and ther
went into a towering rage, declaring ina
| the man who would write such han(
| ought to be aent to Africa. The laugh tina
| went around the bar did not in the leas
dlsconccrt the stern old man, and NJ
| roared:
What in thunder is 1t, and who wrote
it?"
ut IL supposed to be the bin from Mr.
| ---. and you wrote It, was th'
reply from one Of the lawyers.
every WELL" said he, with the utmos
| complacency. now | can read it," and
| sitting down. he did so with the creates
ease.
WHERE HE PROPOSED TO GO.
| Judge Burnes won his tue In heh
| lucky, where he served on the bench
| quarter Of a century before the war i
! IS said that he began To study FOR th'
! ministry. and being very poor kept
! book In the field, and read while restins
! from his work. After a time he change'
| his mind ard decided to become a lawyer
| He went % q lawyer to borrow books
! who tried TO dissuade him from his pur
| nose saving that The profession was al
| ready crowded.
But" said the youth. is there no
room above the common crowd|'
"Oh. yes" said the lawyer, III you coui'
only get there"
There" said Burnes. 'is where pro
pose TO 60"
And he did. Although he has been deai
fifteen years, his powerful influence IA
scarcely abated any Of its force. and ther
Is seldom court passes in the large eir
cult Of his practice but what some OF III
wise maxims are brought into use.
LEGAL GIANTS.
Judge Aston was qu-et MAI, but
| profound and most conscientious lawyer
Colonel Haines was the most eioquen
man OF them all, although Burness Dol
and rugged eloQuence often scared TO
sublime height. especially when aeienu