Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1895-10-10
EVESING cHoEs.

No man was ever so much in love
that he was unable to sleep on Sunday
morning. Texas Siftings.
The Wife-"It must be bedtime. "
The Husband" Hardly. The baby
hasn't woke up yet -" It'd Bits. .
This is no laughing matter, said
the editor to the author as he handed
him back his jokes. -"Texas Sift-
ings. p"
When you see banana peel resting
on the sidewalk and fat man uncon-
sciously approaching it, the indications
point to an early fall. -" Texas Stiff
ings.
The Best of Reasqns-"Do you re-
member, Julian, why they shot poor
Saint Sebastian full of arrows?"
: q they hadn't any gun. y
She-"It will be pleasure to me
to share your troubles and anxieties.
He But haven't any. She-"Oh,
you will have when we are married. =
"Tid Bits. ~
The End of Vacation. He lin Ieav-
ing l-"I think | have said good bye
to you before, Miss, - She Well, |
am always glad to, Say goodbye to
you. "--''Truth. f"
Guest-"What beautiful china! l
never saw anything like it before.
Flower of the Family-"G Good! Ma
wasn't sure whether you ever called on
the Joneses or not. -" Puck.
Papa, where are the most diamonds
found?" asked Willie. ''In somebody
else's hand when they are trumps, y
growled papa, who'd been having hard
luck at whist. So Harper's Bazaar. "
Cohenheimer-" Acht! Mergenthaler,
have you heardt der news? GeldheimeI
hat failed again!' Mergenthaler Tim
pressively) it's der old saying
- holdings succeeds like SUCCESS. -
Puck"
$50 Maud has title at last, said
the dear girl in pink. Yes, but its q
second hand one, y replied the dear CIR
in blue. "How SOP" 1.-THE noblemar
she married was a widower. "--"Chi
cage Post, -
lis it really true,'' said the little
boy, "that politicians are sometimes
not strictly honest?" Eyes, " replied
Senator Sorghum sadly 81 am sorry t.
say that it iR. | have known politicians
who got votes years ago and have mo-
paid for them yet. Washington
Star.
Young husband (severely) = IN!
love, these biscuits are sour, horribl.
sour. :" Young wife (who took tn
chemistry prize at boarding sehool)-
81 forgot to add the soda, my dear
but never mind. After tea we cal
walk out and get some soda water. y
New York Weekly"
; Silver and Green Goods. -Hirar
Hayrake (the Populist leader) :
3 Here's Teller writin' that | XII
I buy two thousand dollars in bank note
Q in New York fer a hundred and fifty
Bill Stebbins Indignantly -" An sti
r them darn critters in the East
Q blamin' us fer wantin' cheap money !!
I Puck. "
Two Ifishmen were once discussn
j the respective merits of the sun an
r moon. "Sure, said Patrick, the su
gives a stronger light than the moon,
True" answered Brian, but tn
I. moons the more sinsble." "How d
< you prove that?" says Pat. "Aisy,
5 responds Brian, for the moon shine
. in tho noight when we made il, an
u the sun comes out in the broad day
I light, when one-eyed man can sc
Y without ii. -" Household Words. "
: His Place What is the name
that now thing on your head?" asko
Mr.. Oldhusband, as his wife stood b,
fore him with a new hat on. "Thi
o dearest, Is named the Defender,
= answered Mrs Oldhusband sweetly
g land il has its iib topsails up, its ba
+ loon sail set, and is all ready to run
the teeth of gale HIN! Perhal
s since you're so glib in the use of mai
h teal phrases you can tell me where
n come in pursued Mr.. o. "Well,
: said his wife, when the bill com,
in you'll be wreck ~" Detroit Fir,
d Press. "