The Portland daily press., 1895-02-02
FLASHES OF WIT.
Some That Have Been EmbaImed in
History OF Fiction.

Not a Few European Sovereigns Have
Been Fond of and Given to Repartee-
Clever and Brutal Jests Passed Among
EngIishmen of Long Ago.
Generally speaking, the strong have re-
| fused to put up with testing from the weak.
The CZal Nicholas, who had some fine quail
tiles. was hardened against a meditated act
Of clemency by the undaunted spirit OF a
prisoner. Relief, lnan OF letters, had
been. implicated in the conspiracy of 1879
and sentenced to be hanged. He was
launched from the fatal ladder. when the
rope broke aud he was thu own to the ground
severely bruised, but conscious. lie picked
himself up and said quietly, They can DO
nothing in Russia, not even twine cord
properly" 1t was customary in Russia to
pardon the condemned after similar faseo
but on Releff's words being reported to The
car and his pleasure demanded he reJoined,
Prove him the contrary"
Henry VIII. with all his violence and ty-
ranny, could bear with a retort as well as
give one. for he loved wit. says the Phila-
delphia Telegraph. When 1t was told him
! that the pope had sent the cardinals hat to
Fisher. Bishop of Rochester. he said. "He
may have the hat, but he shall have on
head to wear it with" and the bishop was
| brought to the block. On one occasion the
| turbulent Earl of kildare was brought before
the king, charged with setting fire TO the
Cathedral of Cashel. Il own it, said the
| earl "but / never would have done it had
not believed the archbishop was in it"
| Henry laughed and pardoned the culprlt.
His hittersst enemy was the Bishop or
Meath, who accused him to Henry o.
divers misdeeds, and CLOSED his arrafgn-
ment with THUS, my liege. you see that
all Ireland cannot govern the carl.
'Then." said the perverse monarch. 1.-THE
earl shall rule all Ireland and instantly
made him lord deputy because his good hui
NOR equaled his valor.
Elizabeth resembled her father in her
Willingness TO put up with retorts from
saucy subjects and to pay them back in,
kind-not always with the greatest refine
ment. The little scene with the Inflated
| Earl of Essex. when she boxed his ears for
insolence and he laid bis hand on his sword,
saying that he would not take such treat
ment, even from her father. is familiar to
everyone.
Going back TO still earlier dates. we con-
|
giving and receiving retorts that bear wit
ness of great independence among some OF
their powerful subjects. It was Edward L..
who, ON the refusal of the ''Black Dog of
Warwick to Join the king with vassals and
supplies for war, said: '.Slr Earl. you shall
I either 60 or hang" The retort was: ''Sir
| Rex, will neither go nor hang"
/ VERBAL TILTS WITH ROYALTY.
Henry w., of France, was good natured
| above most monarchs in repartee. AS a rule
it is impossible to reproduce in convention
al English dress the jests OIL this wise and
witty king. On one occasion it was the
turn of NJ. d'Aubigne to sleep in the king S
/ ante-chamber. Fancying the monarch was
asleep, he began to talk to n. de la Force,
who shared his watch. saying, Your mas.
ter is the most ungratefu1 of men," La
Force, half asleep, asked him what he was
! talking about, when Henry cried OUT
| Wake up! he's telling you am the most
| ungrateful of men"
pray go to sleep, sire" interrupted
Id'Aubigne. "We have great deal more to
say about you.'' Henry never showed less
kindness 10 his servant on account OF
W hat he had overheard.
But the cynical generosity of Frederick
the Great is unique. A lackey who owed
| him a grudge had determined to poison MIN.
One morning he brought in the kings choc-
olate and appeared visibly troubled IN
countenance. What ails your" said Fred
erick, looking fxedly at him. You look as
if you had put poison in my 1000. Inc
wretch fell at his feet and avowed ms
| crime. "Get out of my sight. you sooun-
drel." said Frederick, and took no further
notice of the mans attempt to murder him.
A delicate compliment is work Of far
| higher art than the most biting sarcasm
Everyone knows the story of the poor Great
ure who found himself seated between Nine.
Recamier and Niue. de Stael and managed
to offend them both by saying that he sat
between wit and beauty and was crushed
by the retort CT Nine. de Stael that he pos
sessed neither. The court of Louis XIV
was the school where this art was brought
to perfection. The Aattery offered TO the
king by the men of genius was at once
coarse and exquisite. Witness the lnlmii-
able reply Of Mignard. who was painting
the kings portrait for the tenth time, when
Louis asked him: do l look oldert
/ 81 see few more campaigns on the brow
of your majesty"
One of Louis marshals. Bassompierre, was
in the bastile, and. on emerging, his majes-
Nv asked him his age. Fifty. sire.'' To
the surprised look of the king tie marshal
added, L don't count the ten years passed
in 5astile did not spend them in your
,najestys service"
| Louis found amusement in Bassompierre's
re, orts--a curious illustration Of the pleas
ure that is sometimes derived from remarks
that might reasonably be supposed TO be
far from f1attering. On ono occasion he
was telling the court how be first entered
Madrid as ambassador. ~ was mounted. =
he explained ON the very smallest mule
in the world"
The king remarked, 'lt must indeed have
been an amusing sight to see the biggest
ass in the place mounted on so small a
quadruped."
With a profound obeisance came the re-
ioinder, II was your majesty's representa-
| tive"
"By Jover' said the country squire who
had got the worst of an argument with sgd