The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1895-04-24
HETEROPHEMY.
An Awkward Trick For Which the Tongue
or Nerves Are Responsible.


An Awkward Trick For Which the Tongue
or Nerves Are Responsible.
In the Contributors Club" in
The Atlantic the following incidents
are related of persons suffering from
heterophemy:
Heterophemy, the curious disease
which consists in using one word
when meaning to use an entirely
different one, gives rise to many
amusing combinations. An old lady
living in town on the Hudson river
is thus afflicted. She is tall and
stately in appearance, courtly and
gracious in manner, and this makes
her homogeneous sentences all the
more ridiculous. Strange to say, she
herself is totally unconscious of her
infrmity, for the family, friends and
even the servants endeavor to save
her from the modification she would
feel
Not long ago when she was recov-
ering from a serious illness the bish-
CD of the diocese CHANGED to make
his annual visitation, and at the sug-
gestion of the rector they went to-
gether to call upon Mrs. Drew.
She was delighted to see them and
entertained them with her usual
grace and cordiality. The converse
ton naturally touched upon her ILL
ness and her thankfulness at her
recovery, which for time had been
despaired Of.
Presently she turned to the bish-
op, saying earnestly, my dear bish-
op, let us have little drop"
The startled prelate glanced at the
rector He, knowing his old friends
infrmity, cast about in his mind for
her probable meaning.
Bishop" repeated the old lady
seriously, let's have a little DROP"
Certainly, Mrs. Drew, interpos.
ed the rector, waiting for her to
make some move which might dis
close her meaning. But Mrs. Drew
waited expectantly also.
IF you have not your Wade Me-
cum with you, there is a prayer
book" she said after a moment.
The rector, with sigh of relief,
turned to the bishop. Mrs. Drew
will be glad to have you read prayers
with her" he said quietly.
Prayers were read, and then the
gentlemen prepared to take leave.
Your visit has been pleasure, :"
Mrs. Drew said warmly Nov,
Mr. Belknap, won't you take this
little boy homo to your dear wife
with my best love?"
For moment Mr.. Belknap Won
dered if she could mean the bishop,
but she relieved his mind by lifting
magnificent bunch of roses from a
vase on the table.
Allied to this is another form of
misspeech, to which most of us are
occasionally subject-the exchange
of syllables. A certain young lady
who, to her intense modification,
often reverses her vowels thus, says
she is entirely unconscious of it even
after speaking.
One summer evening she was
sauntering with friend toward the
village postoffice of the little town
where they We're staying. On the
way they encountered an acquaint-
ance with handful of letters.
"Ah, good evening"" she said in
her peculiarly gracious, suave man.
ner. Are you strailing out for your
mole?"
The mystifed young woman made
some inarticulate reply and passed
on. AS soon as tho friend could re-
+. cover her gravity she gasped, II sup.
pose you intended to ask Miss May
if she was strolling out for her
mail?"
Tho same young lady was relating
a sad story of various misfortunes
which had overwhelmed a dear
} friend.
Think" she concluded pathetic
ally, "of losing husband, children
property and homo at one swell
foopp And howl of laughter rent
the roof.