Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-01-11
WHAT'S IN A NAME?
SOME VERY QUEER APPELLA-
TIONS ARE MET WITH.
Genius Il Not Always Adorned
With a Musical Name Some Very
Marked Instances Afforded I'm the
Patent office.

think it would be safe to assert that
nowhere can an odder lot of names be
found. Take the good old name be.
slowed in the Middle Ages upon the
youthful heir of John-Johnson-and
we now find it written Jonson, John
son, johnson, Johnston, Johnstone
Johnson and Jonsson, by its different
bearers. Those changes were caused
no doubt, by peculiarities of environ
ment, such as has recently made con.
fusion in the Klien family in New
Jersey. A family Of this name came
from Germany thirty or forty years
ago and separated, the four sons go.
ing to different States and losing all
trace Of each other for many years. A
few years ago they managed to get to.
gether when it was found that one
brother spelled his name Kline"
while another had retained the
klien," of the Fatherland. The
other two had translated their names
into the English language and now
called themselves Little" and
" Small" respectively.
Clearer proof could not be asked of
the fact that Uncle Sam is no respec-
ter of persons in the granting of
patents, than finding on a single page
and near together, record of the
granting Of patents to three men bear.
ing the names of Swinscoe, Swogger
and Swoboda.
1t was also curious to note that
recently, while the whole country was
in y fevsrish state watching to see
what Congress would do with the sill
yer purchase question, the govern
ment granted patents to Messrs. Sill
yer, Silverberg, Silverthorn, Silvernail
and Silverstion.
The an cient and numerous family
Of Smiths, OF course, received its due
share of attention. No less than six
teen separate and distinct members
of the clan, who in school.boy days
answered the name OF " Bill" received
patents in single year.
In the genius of the "Mc's" or
MACS" it was found that in the
same year QS9D there were two hun
dred and fifty-three species recognized,
and all rewarded for their services in
promoting the progress OF mankind.
When the race was young and names
began to be bestowed upon men to
mark their peculiar traits of character
of their avocations in life, the cranial
development of that portion of the
head representing what phrenologist
call amativeness must have been
prodigious, for We find here noted the
fact that patents were issued to men
bearing the suggestive names of Kiss,
Kissher, Kissam, Kissel, Kissell,
Kitsner, Kissinger, kissing and Kis-
sock, while others, apparently ashamed
of the amiable natures OF their pro-
genitors attempt to disguise their
names by dropping an IS" or sub
stituting "z."
Not only do we find here odd names
but we find regular old" jaw-breakers"
for the English-born American, such,
for instance, as Zschech, Yrigoyen,
Kjoellerfeldt, Zwierzchowski, and SIX.
ecy, the last named individual being q
citizen OF Kruiszentmikloz in Hun
gary.
In fact, so hardened have the Off
cials OF the Patent Office become that
they will not hesitate to grant pa.
tent to any person whatever. no mat
ter what name he may give. One
was even granted few years ago to
man who gave his name as Wrba'
and swore to it, too.
The modern fad Of writing an initial
first has given the Office great deal
of trouble, as the authorities have
held that mans real christian name
is his first one, and that his middle
name is "merely ornamental" Ac.
cordingly, when ]. Sinclair Jones asks
for a patent on a new kind OF . hair
dye he is informed that he must di-
vulge the secret of his christian name.
This he does reluctantly. saying that
it is" John," or he cody swears that
it is J and J only. If sn affidavit to
this effect is furnished the patient is
sues in that name.
The genial chief of the application
room told me recently of case in
which it seemed to me the use of in.
itial letters was allowable and even
commendatory. An application came
in signed "P. V. Jones'" No effort on
the part of the Office could extort any
thing else. At last Mr.. Jones, driven to
desperation, came on to the city and
made q sworn statement that what he
had given was his name, his whole
name and nothing but his name. He
said that his father wished his own in
itials to remain in the family but did
not want to blight the life OF his son
by compelling him to bear the
sobriquet of " Pusilianimous Vesuvius
All the names mentioned can actual
ly be found in recent lists OF patentees