Graham guardian., 1895-06-22
w,ot's the Row.

"Say, dad, w'ot,s this ere bloody
row about free silver coinage them
blarsted Yankees are 'avin'?" said
young Johnny Calf to his father,
John Bull.
saw, son." said J. b., "don't e
see it? This 'ere's the way Of it.
We British coin hall of Hindia's
money. Hits hall silver. We coin
New Zealand's money. Hits hall
silver halso. We don't produce sill
yer, so we ave to buy it. We 'ad
to pay one dollar and thirty cents.
or somethink over five shillings and
four pence per hounce for silver so
long as the blarsted donkeys 'ad
free coinage. This was ard hon
hus, cause we couldn't make moth
ink hon Hindla's w'eat, ye know,
nor we couldn't mako nothink hon
Haustralian and New Zealand gold;
but we knocked 'em, son, we
knocked 'em."
-Ow, dad! 'Oh'd ye knock
'em?"
"Well, son, we sent Britisher
hover there hamong the traitors in
the blarsted Yankee congress, and
e fixed 'em. 'E got the 'ole lot of
bank presidents and railroad pres
idents ave 'ired TO serve 'em, to
demonetlze silver, cause we see,
these ere fellers bein' money men,
wanted money scarce, ye know, so
they cauld loan Ugh and buy low.
Livin' costs less, and money
= Z ! = = ] =
hup. The sounds fer the dumb
fools wat does the vorin,' but the
moneys for the williams wat does
the 'owlin;' but they don't see it,
the voters don't, so let 'em vote
same's ever, and later hon they'll
do some 'owlin' too"
"But, dad, did they demonetize
silver, ,sure?"
"Did they? Well, ! should say
they did. And silver did just w'at
we wanted. 1t went down, down,
down, and now, don't ye see, we
buy the Yank's silver hat 60 cents
q hounce, coin hit hinto money,
send hit to Haustralia and New
Zealand and get one dollar and
thirty cents worth of gold for hit,
and we halso com hit hinto rupees
and send hitto Hindia and get over
twice as much w'eat and cotton
for the same money as we did 'afore
SO now we buy w'eat and cotton of
Hindia, and the blarsted fool
Yankees is squealin' cause
prices is low. That's 'ow the row
comes"
"But, say, dad, if the Yanks was
to ave free coinage again wouldn't |
silver come hups
eyes, my boy, it would; cause
wen a man can take lis silver to
the mint and ave it coined hinto
dollars free, ED be a bigger fool
vet an rrrse-Y rs Yanks is if q didn't see
that the silver IN naaaGGlllar aGGlllar is worth
a dollar, an hounce of siIVSefr-> siIVter IS
worth dollar and twenty-nine
cents"
"But, dad, that would be ard
hon hus, wouldn't hit?'
eyes, my boy, it would. Wy
we'd ave to buy w'eat and cotton
Of the Yanks again same's we did
'afore, cause freights from Hindia.
hadded to costs Of w'eat same's hin
would make hit 'igher
and we'd sure ave to go to the
Yanks for w'eata and cotton"
"But, dad, I'd think they'd re-
silver and ave free coin
age again. Why don't they, dad?"
"Well, my boy, I'll tell ye, but
don't ye blow hit. They are just
blarsted fools. They amt more'n
arf civilized. They never was as
smart as Britlsher anyway. Why
boy, the United States is the only
country as CLAIMS to be civilized
at don't own its telegraph system
and run it for the people. A Yank
named Pinkney once said, Mil
lions for defence, but not one cent
for tribute but 'e's dead and hall
is kin is dead, too, and the fool
Yanks is payin' us two hundred
millions of tribute every year in
alone, but they don't know
it, for same reason | gave we. l
expect they'd raise ell hif they
knew, but they don't, so w'ots the
hodds, so longs we're 'appy."-
Coming Nation.
A Tiny Republic.