Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1895-12-08

the married yet minated. IT has 4
more gentle climate than Dakota, and o.
man can go there as late as December
and get a divorce in his duck trousers
without discomfort. Correspondents
are frequently seen at Alva making
New Years calls in their shirt sleeves.
Viva Kersykes-Vernon, nee Miggs,
says that she will bet her alimOny for
six months that better climate never
grew outdoors than there is in Okla
homa. She was one Of the Messrs
Prickett & Dunn's clients, class of '93,
and says she never felt better i'm her
life.
Divorces are procured without pain
or publicity.
One client writes to the Merrs. as
follows:
Before. I got my divorce I suffered
the perils Of the ID. l was Ostra-
cized from good society and had to live
in New Jersey. | went to the United
States Consul there and begged him TO
Let me return to America. / had sharp,
darling pains up and down the spinal
cOlyum.
"All at once 7 got a permit to go to
OhlAAblA4ft 0uEAk i llfNAn NlnA gNM
were, but unfortunately could not
raise the ready John, if you will pardon
a little lapsus laZuli on my part
Il then heard that clients who wish
ed a divorce could be treated at a dis,
lance through the aid Of your valuable
home treatment. I bought two Of them
and was soon again a free man. So
was my wife. We are the best or
friends, and as happy as the day is
long. On long winter evenings 7 run
over there, and we play domin0s for the
alimony.
Sometimes we play to see who shall
have The custody Of the children.
I've both feel that we owe you 50
much. Go on, 80 on, You dear sweet
thing, is what we both say.
eve are to have a double wedding
Thanksgiving Day. My wife will marry
a gentleman friend. and I viii marry
his dear old mother So we shall be-
again related by marriage wife and I.
Won't that be jolly?
Your climate is real good too"
Alya is on the A. IT, &, S. T.. r. r. and
but twelve hours from Kansas CITY.
II IS the county seat of Wood county and
IS a sort of what was once called tho
Cherokee outlet. Il is right plumb in
the heart Of nature. and ! have taken
the liberty of writing a few lines in
verse, touching on her great beauty and
freedom. will put them I'm here If [
hear no objection
Alva, down I'm Oklahoma.
Can it be you do not know me?
Hearts so sad and tore MP
That ! staid at home from EuroDe
All that ] might 90 and see
You and Oklahoma II.
CChorus)
SECOND VERSE
Seems to me a little coarse
To do nothing but divorce.
Or become too passing fond
OF the wicked correspond
The best people ] have met
Look upon this with regret
So, unless you desire chat I should
write poetry about you. Alva. please
try 10 inaugurate an additional indus
try as soon as you can.
Arkansas had the reputation Of being
a sluggers' retreat, but she has wiped
out that stain. So did Texas. Louis,
lana had the name Of harboring tho
most gigantic legallzed robbery OF the
poor in America, but she has shaken IL
off and reformed beautifully Utah at
one time just seemed to gorge herself
with matrimOny, and some OF tho
ablest elders Of the Mormon church.
who raised seed whiskers for Kansas.
ran the cannubial business into the
ground, but it is past now. and lust
one private wife apiece Is all that Is
permitted there.
Now let Oklahoma. as soon as She
can, introduce other lines Of business
and the cyclone and general rotation
Of crops, abandon this divorce resource
and go into legitimate business. Yon
can't afford it, good people Of the Cher-
olee strip.
Let the Cherokee strip-I say. let the
Cherokee strip, provided the police donc
object, but down with this wicked and
dishonorable divorce invitation to I'M
morality. Don't encourage married
people TO separate because, forsooth. i'm
an unguarded moment their hearts or
feet may grow cold.
/9xee Xxx