Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-10-31

preechin. Severul moved-sum moved
out doars, sum moved neerur frunt, wun
woomun moved tew talk kollexyun,
and wun man moved tew konfes awl the
sins NV Abburdeen eksept hiz oan, sum
moved tew grone and sum tew laff, and
on the hull thare wuz a deel NV time a
movin. The preechur woar hiz loks
aphtur the patturn Nv Sampsun, butt he
didunt seam tew hev tibet old heeros
powrfool phrame. / tux him tew be a
ranchur jest in frum hiz klame, and no
mummy tew pay fur good, descent shave
and hare kut. Hare ma indykate jeenyus,
butt sumtimes thare is moar hare than
jeenyus in man. l he'd text fur him,
butt yung pheller got the fore ahed,
tawkt socialism, popylism, anarkee, ct
settury, so l wuz shet oph. Mi text wuz
l Cor. II IA, ware it sez ef man hev
long hare it il a shaim unto him. The
preechin wuz jest adaptid tew most Nv
the lisuners, and lurn tibet he IL maxim
hiz grub out Nv the sopht heds Nv our
villidge, speshully frum sech ez nevur
he'd mulch tew give thru the proper
channil. The preechin wuz speshuly
adaptid tew gamblurs and sloon keepurs,
fur l hurd him sa tibet the cuurchez ware
wurse than the sloons and thare wuz moar
preechurs in hell than emmy luther phase.
He didunt naim the date when he kali
kylatid tew meat hiz bretheril in tibet
dismal aboad; but eli hiz oan proffeesy
kums trew, and this urth liz smasht tew
phlindurs in short time, he vii sure
shaik hands with them ez hev GAVIN b
fore. Then woomun with bunnet
witch wuz moar yooseful than orneemen-
tul, bunnet witch he'd shed ruff
slopin the rong wa, TUX the fore, and told
the awdyence tibet the churchez wuz awl
aphtur THAR mummy, and eff tina wud KUN
out NV EN- an jine the meetin tina wud be
saved, butt eff not, tina ware on the strate
rode tew hell, an b fore the meetin broak
up thare wuz kollexyun tux up fur the
nu preechur-all the saim churchez.
Wen KUN out a man sed tew me,
"Thet IL the kind NV preechin fur me-"
1 sed, "Wy?" He sed, "B kaws, he givs
the preechuis and churchez partikler
fits" l axt him hoo wuz doin most Nv
the good in emmy toun, wether it wuz
sloon men err kristchun men. He wuz
kwiet. l then axt him eff the best wa
tew korreckt the phaults Nv kristchuns
wuz tew sling mud at EN-, and raik EN-
doun jenrally tew a awdyence Nv out
sidurs. "Well," he sed, "theze foaks air
gittin lots NV jiners." sed tew him,
"Wot dew tina jine?" He sed, "Tha jine
the meetin, NV koarse." Seem ez how l
kud not drive emmy sense intew hiz he'd
without sledje hammur, 1 dezistd tew
wunst and forevur.
KUN ava with the follerin reflections
Scriptur il bein fulfilled. fur we air told
in the book tibet in the last daze THAR
shud kun phalse profits, and shud draw
ava lnenny weak mead kristchuns aphtur
them. l also konkludid tibet the klas Nv
liners theze kumonters air Citing will
releev the churchez NV sum Nv THAR rub
bage witch tina hev karrid long time.
Sum foaks hev wantid tew send this
sekkund Mozez out Nv toun tina doant
want him tew pla in our yard, er holler
doun our ranebarl; but ez fur me, am
konvinst tibet awl theze nu lites mead liz
plenty Nv roap-tha'll dew the rest.
J. BILLINGS SAGE,
Suksessur tew Josh Billings, deseest.