The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-08-18
THE COMPANION
OF A SHARK.
BY e. A. Willard and w. c. Morrow.


ehappy. God how thirsty I ami Say,
did you ever feel like thar Did you ever
see binding flashes that tear through your
brain and turn the sun bIack2 Oh, but it s
jolly, though-almost as amusing as you
are.
''Say, old Sharky, you haven't answered
my question yet. It's a hypothetical ques-
tion-yes, hypothetical. I'm sure that
what l want to say. Hypo-hypothetical
question. Question; yes, that's right.
Say, Sharky, suppose you'd been pretty
wild and frisky young shark, and had kept
your mother anxious and miserable, and
had drifted into gambling and had gone
pretty well to the dogs. Say, old chappy,
do sharks ever go to the dogs2 Now,
that's a poser. Sharks; dogs. Oh, what
very ridiculously, sublimely amusing old
Sharky you are! Dreadfully discreet you
are. Never show your hand except on
showdown. What glum, jolly old vii
lain you are!
pretty well to the dogs, and then
braced up and left home to make a man of
yourself. Think of shark making man
of himself! Ha, ha, ha! Now, call that
Easy, there Don't get excited. I only
staggered that time and didn't quite go
overheard. And don't let my gesticula-
lions excite you. Keep your mouth shut,
Sharky; you're not pretty when you smile
like that. AS was saying-ohl -.
"How long was 1 that way, old fellow?
Good thing for me that you don't know
how to climb into a boat when fellow is
that way. Were you ever that way,
Sharky? Comes on like this Biff Big
blaze of red fire in your head. Then
then-well, after awhile you come out OF
it, with the queerest and crookedest of
augers boring through your head, and a
million tadpoles of white fire darting in
every direction through the air. Don't
ever get that way, Sharky, if you can pos
sibly keep out OF it. But then you never
get thirsty. Let me see. The sun was
over there when the red fire struck and
it's over here now. Shifted about thirty
degrees. Then 1 was that way about two
hours.
"Where are those dogs2 Do they come
to you or do you go to them? That de-
ponds. Now, say you had some friends
that wanted to do you good turn wanted
to straighten you up and make man OF
you. They had ascertained the exact
situation CT wonderful treasure buried in
an island of the Pacific. All right. They
knew you had some of the qualities useful
for such an 1pedition-reckless, daredevil
afraid OF nothing-things like that. Un-
derstand, Sharky? Well, all swore oaths
as long as your leg-as long as your-oh
myl Think of shark having legl Ha
ha, ha! How is that for real humor, old
chappy2 Long as your Iegl Oh, my
Pardon my liberty, old man, but must
laugh. Ha. ha, hal Oh, myl
"All of you swore-you and the other
sharks. No lying, no deceit. First shark
that makes slip is to call the skipper and
be sent adrift with one oar and nothing
else. And all, Sharky, after you had
pledged your honor to your mother, your
God and yourself to be a true and honor
able shark. Say, Sharky, it isn't the hot sun
that is broiling you and covering you with
bursting blisters and changing the marrow
of your bones to melted iron and your
blood to kissing lava-it isn't the sun that
hurts, nor the hunger that gnaws your
intestines to rags, nor the thirst that
changes your throat into a funnel of hot
brass, nor binding bursts of red fire in
your head, nor lying dead in the waist OF
the boat while the sun steals thirty degrees
of time out the sky, nor million fiery
tadpoles darting through the air. No,
Sharky, it is none of them that hurts, but
something infinitely deeper and more
cruel-your broken pledge OF honor to
your mother, your God and yourself.
That is what hurts, Sharky.
at is late, old man, to begin life all over
again while you are in the article of death,
and resolve to be good when it is no longer
possible to be bad. But that is our affair,
Sharky, yours and mine, you bold-eyed,
wide-mouthed, hungry old villain, and just
at this time we are not choosing to discuss
the utility of goodness. But 1 don't like
that sneer in your glance. I have only one
oar, and 1 will cheerfully break it over
your wretched head if you come yard
nearer.
"Aha! Thought I was going over, eh,
old chappy? See; I can stand steady
enough when try. But 1 don't like that
sneer in your eyes. Don't believe in the
reformation of the dying, eh? You are a
contemplate dog; low, mean, outcast
dog. You sneer at the declaration OF a
man that he can and will be honest at last
and face his Maker humbly, but still like a
man. Come, then, Sharky, and let US see
which of US two is the decent and honor
able one. Stake your manhood against
mine, and stake your life with your man.
hood. Well see which is the more hon
orable of the two, for l tell you now, Mr..
Sharky, that we are going to gamble for
our lives and our honor. Ha, ha, hal
Gamble for our lives and our honor!
"Come up closer and watch the throw.
No? Afraid of the oarp You sneaking
coward You would be decent shark at
last did the oar but split your skull. See
this visiting card, you villain? Look at it
as hold it up. There is printing on one
side; that is my name; it is /. The other
side is blank; that is you. Now, am
going to throw this into the water. If it
falls name up 1 win; if blank side up you
win. If l win I eat you; if you win you eat
me. Is that go?
"Hold on. You see | can throw card
SO as to bring uppermost either side I
please. That wouldn't be fair. For this,
the last game, is to be square. So l fold
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