The Evening dispatch. [volume] (Provo, City, Utah) 1891-1895, 1895-01-29
DRAWBACKS OF A BLACK EYE.
1t Inspires Humor and Brings Varied Mis-.
cry Upon Its Owner.


1t Inspires Humor and Brings Varied Mis-.
cry Upon Its Owner.
Unfortunate indeed is the lot of the
young man with black eye. In addi.
ton to the fact that it is black and will
prevent his appearance in respectable
society for time are the many expla-
nations which he has to invent for the
curious who want to know how he got
it, Then he has to stand no end of ban
tering, insinuating smiles, hypocritical
sympathy and the stares of men. wom-
en- and children wherever he goes.
The young man in this case got his
black eye in the manner in which the
general public believes 500 out of /, 600
black eyes are receiyed-that is, from
the fist of another young man delivered
straight out from the shoulder. At the
time he received it there was no means
of relief at hand, and he was in no con-
dition to seek it after receiving the blow
that began new course in astronomy
for him. So he went home and content
ed himself with applying heated cloths
to it for the rest of the night. He lived
in boarding house, and when he went
down to breakfast in the morning he
wore a handkerchief bound tightly
around his head, so as to conceal the
black eye. This did not prevent the
boarders from inquiring in unison:
''Where did you get the black eyer"
as he looked around the grinning crowd
he saw that he would have to tell
pretty straight story.
II don't know whether it's black or
not, )" he stammered, although it feels
as if it was. You see, I got in late last
night and in the darkness stumbled
against the hatrack. I didn't like to
wake anybody up and just put some hot
water on it. %
"Why didn't you hit the hatrack
frst?' asked one of the skeptios
81 tried to- butt
'"The scoundrel got the drop on you,"
put in another boarder.
well, he did, butt
81 suppose he's got pair of EN-, eh?"
"Well, there's no use denying it,
fellows" whispered the young man.
81 did have run in with a gang, but
they were five to one, and after 1 had
knocked three of them down the other
two got at me, and that ended it. Say,
what's g9od to take it right away"
Lets see it, )" demanded the board
ers and the young man was forced to
undo the bandage. He disclosed swol-
len mass of flesh on the right side of the
face, which rivaled a Thanksgiving foot
ball field for coloring. In the center a
guilty little pupil of an eye flashed, sur
rounded by the crimson of Harvard.
Shading off on the cheek was the orange,
surmounted by black, emblematic of
Princeton, while the blue of Yale was
predominant.
ga symposium of college colors,"
cried one of the boarders. Suggestions
for relief were then in order.
''Try a piece of raw beef, was one.
"Or raw oyster, % was another.
Tot water and extract of witch ha-
eel.
EPSON salts and hot water will take
the bloodsbot out of the eye"
"Have it painted.
mo have it cut with a razor and
let it bleed"
"Get leech. -
The young man carefully noted all
the suggestions, and as a discussion |
arose about the most efficacious remedy
decided to visit black eye doctor. Aft !
er all the boarders had gone he bandag-
ed up his eye and went in search of one.
''Now, if you had only come to me
as soon as you got it could have re-
moved it in an hour and half" said
the black eye specialist, ''or if you had |
come within % hours afterward might |
have had better chance of removing
it. As it is, it will take week
The young man had his eye washed |
and bathed for couple of hours with |
hot water and other lotions and declared |
that he felt better. The swelling was |
reduced somewhat, and he thought that |
with the help of little flesh paint and |
Chinese white he could face his best |
girl that evening. Surely, he thought,
she would believe any story he told
about it. But she was as skeptical as
the rest, and after listening to his plain
tive story about his encounter with the |
hatrack said:
Nov, really, Charles, who did it?'
New York Sun.