davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28
Thomas Was Right.

Boys" said teacher in Sunday
school. can any of you quote a verse
from Scripture to prove that it is wrong
for a man to have two wives?' He
paused, and after moment or two a
bright boy raised his hand. We'll,
Thomas said the teacher encourag-
ingly. Thomas stood up and said: NO
man can serve two masters" The
question ended there.-Boston Home
Journal
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28
One Way Out.

Sweet Girl-Oh, papa, have found a
way for you to escape the income tax.
Father-GueSS not.
Sweet Girl-Yes; I have. You give
half your stocks to Mr.. Slimpurse. and
then I'll marry Mr.. Slimpurse, and SO
all the money will be kept in the fam
lily, and the government won't get a
cent.-N. Y. Weekly.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28
A Domestic Crisis.

Two ladies were conversing together,
when one of them remarked:
Il am troubled with nightmare al
most every night
well. I'd rather have the nightmare
seven straight nights than do what I've
got to do replied the other, whose
husband is very stingy man.
whats that?"
I've got to tell my husband that the
coal bin is empty.'-TeXas Siftings.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28
A Cheap Trip South.

Tickets will be sold at one fare round trip
to points in Tennessee, Kentucky, Alabama,
Louisiana and Florida, on the
line Of the Louisville Il Nashville, and
Chattanooga & St. Louis Rail
roads, on January s, February 5. March 5,
April 2 and 80. 1895 Ask your ticket agent
about it, and if he cannot sell you excursion
tickets write to c. p. Atmore General Pas
senger Agent, Louisville, KY, Jackson
Smith. D. P. A, Cincinnati, O., or Geo.
L. Cross, N. w. p. A, Chicago, Ill.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28

George Washington is the father o:
his country" said one boy, thought
fully. ''Of course he is" replied the
other. well, I'll bet that he'd feel
like takin' his country out in the wood
shed if he could see how it's carrying
on to-day. '-WaShingt Star.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28
Not Wholly Disinterested.

Lea-Bimley is much interested il.
passing law to help out the present
depleted revenues by taxing all bachel-
ors between the ages of twenty-five and
thirty.
Perrins-Yes; he has five unmarried
daughters--N. Y. World
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28
Blessings of Ignorance.

Visitor-Is that cat really so old az
you say? She plays around like a
kitten.
Little Girl-Yes; cats hasn't any fam
lily Bibles, and they never knows how
old they are.-Good News
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28

1t is to have strong nerves, and how many
are denied 1t. They to whom nature has
been niggard in this respect can enjoy nerve
vigor and quietude if they use Hostetter's
Stomach Bitters, one of the finest nervines
and tonics in existence. Dyspepsia. a pro-
life source of nerve inquietude, is invari-
ably overcome by this genial medicine,
which is also potent as a remedy for ma
larial and kidney trouble and constipation.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28
Echoes of the Wedding.

ding cake. 1 put an enormous piece
under my pillow and dreamed of no
body"
'.Wel1?'
And the next night 1 ate it and
dreamed of evervbody.'-Life.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28
Found an Angel

Husband-Got a new girl. l see-
Wife-Yes. and she's an angel. too.
How can you know that? She
hasn't been here half day, yet"
True; but she tells me that she
once lived with your mother, and stood
it for three weeks."-N. Z. Weekly.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28
When You Want . rhresher,

When You Want . Thresher,
Saw Mill, Self Feeder. or an Engine, ad.
dress the j. L CASE T. M. Co., Racine, Wis
They have the largest Threshing Machine
plant in the world, and their implements may
be relied upon as the best. Business estab-
lished 1912. illustrated catalogue mailed free
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28

-Willie-''I often dream that / am
being chased by giant" Teddy
Doesn't it frighten you awfully?'
Wiliie-''No, because 1 know that just
as the giant is going to catch me l en-
sure to wake up."-Harper's Bazaar.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28

WHATS this parrot saying?" asked
the visitor in the bird-store. ut doesn't
sound like Polly wants a cracker
NE. It's Polly wants a beam I'm
educating the birc for Boston lady"
Washington Star.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28

The only American order ever
founded was that of the Cincinnati, in
1888. It was soon dissolved, Society
of Cincinnati taking its place. 1t was
composed of the officers of the revolu-
tionary war.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28
Af.er Famous Authors.

Tn going TO call my baby Charles
said the author. after Lamb, because
he is such dear little lamb" ''Oh, I'd
call him William Dean" said the friend;
''he Howells SO much."-Philadelph
Ledger.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28

s'SoMETIMEs," said Uncle Eben, ''when er
man tells yoh he's discouraged he doan'
mean muffin by it 'ceppin' dat he's bout
made up his min ter be good an lazy de
res of his life. '-Washing Star.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28

AN actress appearing in Johnstown, Pa,
recently was referred to by the local press
as favorite in that city The paper re-
marked: ''She appeared here just before
the flood" The actress has erased Johns
town from her ,nap.-Dramatic Mirror.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28

II HEv noticed" says the corn-fed philos-
opher, ''that man is a heap like whisky
the poorer he is the liabler he is to stay in
the jug."-Cincinnati Tribune.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28

AS recognized state institution,
chivalry is first found in France.
whence it spread to Spain, to Italy, to
Germany and to England.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28

To cleanse the sy stem in a gentle and truly
beneficial manner, when the springtime
comes, use the true and perfect remedy,
Syrup of Figs. One bottle will answer for
all the family and costs only 50 cents; the
large size 81. Try it and be pleased. Manu-
featured by the California Fig Syrup Co.
only.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28

''BY the way, didn't you say the count hao
fortune in American securities!'' Eyes
About two millions in matrimonial bonds. ~
indianapolis Sentinel
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28

THERE goes an old fame of miner as the
sun said when the comet came into perihe-
liOn.-Puck.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28

A MAN may be as honest as the day is long,
and still do great deal of mischief during
he night-TeXaS Siftings.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28

81 sHorLD have you know, sir, that I AMI
a Londoner, as I was born in London"
'sBut 1, sir. was born in Cork, and am .
Corker r'-Boston Globe.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28

WE don't know what we can do till we
try. and then we frequently find that w
cap'x-Puck.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28

$50 YoU won her handa' II don't know.
I'm under her thumb, in any event.'-De-
troit Tribune.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28

"YouR brother? did not know that you
had a brother "Oh, yes; or. what is the
same thing, have two half brothers"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28

WrrTIcUssE-'What do you think of these
Lines to a Gas Company Petticusse-
''The meter is false" Witticusse-''That's
done Intentionally to make it realistic."-
Life.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28

HIS PREFERENCE.
'entist-Will you have gas?

Dentist-WilI you have gas?
Ole ST Tuttle-Wa'al. l swow! We
don't know much erbout gas t hum. l
guess you'd better give me ker'sene.-
Iudpe
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28

I cannot speak too highly of Piso's Cure
w. I'D ST., New York, Oct. 90, 1884.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28

THE constancy of sages is nothing but
locking up their agitation in their hearts.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28
Call 1t a Craze.
AN ALARMING STATEMENT
CONCERNING WOMEN.
HOW BAD HABITS ARE FORMED.

The Nr1v York Tribune SAYS: 1.-The habit of
taking headache powders is increasing to an
alarming extent among great number of vvo-
men throughout the country. These powders as
their name indicates, are claimed by the manu-
facturers to be positive and speedy cure for any
form of headache In many cases their chief
ingredient is morphine. opium, cocaine or some
other equally injurious drug having a tendency
to deaden pain. The habit of taking them is
easily formed. but almost impossible to shake
Of. Women usually begin taking them to re-
lieve raging headache and soon resort to the
powder to alleviate any little pain or ache they
may be subjected to, and finally like the NOR
phine opium fend. get into the habit of taking
them regularly. imagining that they in pain
if they happen to miss their regular dose"
In nine cases out of ten, the trouble is
in the stomach and liver. Take simple
laxative and liver tonic and remove the
offending matter which deranges the
stomach and causes the headache. DR..
Pierce's Pleasant Pellets are composed
entirely of the purest, concentrated,
vegetable extracts. One Pellet is
dose; sugar-coated, easily swallowed;
once used, Arrays tn favor. They posi-
lively cure sick headache and remove
the disposition to it.
Mr. E. VARGAsoN of otter Laks /nS,>~ Ia
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-03-28

se
Mieh., writes :. II not
infrequently have an at
tack of the headache.
1t usually comes OH in
the forenoon. At my
dinner I eat my regular
meal. and take one or
two of Doctor Pierce's
Pleasant Pellets imme-
diately after. and in the
course of an hour my
headache is cured al
no bad effects. Z feel
better every way for
having taken them
not worse. as is usual
after taking other kinds
of pills. Pleasant Pei
let's are worth more
than their weight in
gold. if for nothing else
than to cure headache"
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-10-20

Since physicians are nov admitting thar
nearly all common chronic naiadies-iung
and kidney disease, stomach and bowel
troubles throat and bronchial affections.
etc.-are but varying forms OF catarrhal
disorder people are beginning 70 feel
very animated interest in catarrh. The
tonic comes home to all. like that OF grip
or cholera, IN times OF epidemic prostrs-
ton or slaughter. While DIR. Copeland
was among the first to recognize the
catarrhal principle as the most -rfghtfuliy
prolific and destructive among all disease
germs. and the first 10 develop treatment
for its radical mastery. his Views are now
quite generally accepted by the profes-
sion. Many accredited authorities main
tain that nine out OF every ten persons IN
our climate have some taint or seed OF
catarrh.
Everybody wants either 20 be sure of
immunity from disease-germS involving
such awful possibilities of evil. or to be
receiving corrective treatment so that
the tests now being made az the Copeland
Medical Institute, the Collins building,
corner Second and James streets. which
DR. Copeland has invited all who feel an
interest in 10 attend are being taken adj
vantage OF very freely by all classes OF
the community. though small fee Is
expected Of ali " no tsse treatment, he
total exp use. however. be ng limited tn
medicines and TO office nd nail patients
ply ng in person
The list OF symptom questions IL given
below To facilitate diagnosis. cut ont
the Est mark those that a apparently apply
20 your case. and bring 20 Dr. Copeland,
or send by mail II out OF the city.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-10-20

wonder Il hss uniform was SO dusty and
old n appearance. Moreover, he had a
feeling that hfs face was covered with @
compound OF dust. CRIME and pe-splra-
ton He took a step forward and sad: II
csdn't mean 10 fr4ghten you" But his
voice was coarse from MS hattle-howltng.
II seemed 70 him 20 have henpen Ebres
IN Il
The girls. breath came in little. quick
gssps. and she looked az him as she
would have looked at a serpent
4 didn't mean 20 frightea you." be
said again
The girl, stiIl with her hands behin1 her.
began 20 back away
is there any one else IN the house" he
went On. while slowly following her. Il
don't wish to disturb you. but We had
fight with some rebel skiruisheEs In he
woods. and thought maybe some OF them
might have corne in here. In fact. was
pretty sure Of It Is there any OF them
here2'
The girl locked at him and said: MOI
He wondered why extreme agitation made
the eyes OF some women so limpl1 and
bright
who Is here besides yourself7'
By this tine his pursuit had driven her
TO the end OF the hall. and she remained
there with her back 10 the wall and her
hands stIl behind her. When she an
swered this question, she did not look at
him but down at the floor. She cleared
her voice and then said: There is no
ore here"
NO one7"
She lifted her eyes TO him In that appeal
that the human being must make even 70
falling trees. crashing boulders, the sea
ia a storm, and said: mo. no. there Is no
one here" lie could plainly see her trenl-
bic.
or sudden. he bethought him that she
had always kept her hands behind her. As
hs recalled her air when first discovered,
he remembered she appeared precisely IS
a child detected at one OF the crimes OF
childhood. Moreover, she had always
backed away from him. He thought now
that she was eoncealng something which
was In evidence OF the presence of the
enemy in the house
What are you holding behind your" he
said. suddenly.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-10-20

Did you order Up the horsesT' IN
CURED the captain.
Ties. we thought
Wen. then. LET'S get on, OF here" inter-
rurted the captain. r1orossiy.
The men began 20 filter out into the o7e-
air The youth n gray had been hanging
C4Smaily 10 the railing OF tia stairway
lie now Was climbing slowly ND % IKE
second 6oor. The old man was addressing
himself directly 20 the serene corporal
Not chicken on the place" he cred
Nel didn't take your chickens. DID
No. maybe you didn't. but"
The captain crossed the hail and stood
before the girl in rather a cuIprst's fash
ion You are not angry al me. are YOU -
he asked timidly.
No" she said She hesita,ed moment
and then suddenly held out her hand.
leu were good to me-and I'm -mucn
obliged"
The captain took her hand and then he
hlushed. for he found himself unable 70
formulate a sentence that applied N any
way 10 the situation
Shs did not seem 10 need tina, hand fer
a time
He looseaed his grasp presently. for he
Was ASHAMED 10 hold IL 50 long without
saying anything clever. At last with an
air OF charging an intrenched brigade. he
contrtvec 70 say; ~ would rather do any
thing than frighten You or trouble you.
His brow was warmly perspiring. He
had sense Of being hidecUs IN his dusty
uniform and with his grlmy face
She said: "Oh, I'm so glad IL was Won
instead or somebody who might have
might have hurt brother Harry and grand
pa
he tod her: II wouldn't have hurt 'enn
for anything
There was a little silence.
Well. good bye he said. az last.
Good bye
He walked toward the door past the Old
man who was scolding AZ the vanishing
figure OF the corporal The captain looked
back She had remained there watching
him
At the bugles order, thu troopers stand
ing beside their horses swung briskiy into
the saddle. The lieutenant said to the first
sergeant.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-10-20

- could not manage &. He struggled
herosc2lsy. The bay charger wath as
srszs naySsically solemn eyes looked
around the corner OF Ess shoulder at ths
girl
The captain s.nfsea pine tree. The
girl inspected the grass beneath the win
dow. The captain said hcsrsely. II
don't suppose don't sapposs-i'l ever
see yoa again
She looked az him afxrsxhtedly and
sArank hack from the window lie seemed
% have woefally expected a reception OF
this kind fer his question He gave her
insanity q glance 81 appeal
she said: way. no. doa't suppose
we wiz
Never
WHY. no-'tAint possible. You-you
are a Yankee
on. l know 81. but Eventually ~.
continued: Well, some day. yen know.
might" He observed that she had again
Withdrawn suddenly into he shadow, 50
he said: We'll. goodbye"
When he he'd her fingers shs bowed her
head and he saw a pink blush steal over
the curves OF her cheek and neck.
Am never going 70 see you @gainT'
She made no reply.
Never he repeated.
After a long time he Blended over 70
hear n fain. repsys Sor1efiDcs-when
there arc no troops IN the neighoorAood-
grandpa don't mind IL 1-wask over as Ear
as that old oak tree yonder-ln the after
moons"
1t appeared that the captains grip was
very strong for she uttered an cSosams-
ton and looked at her fingers rs Il she
expected 20 find them mere fragments.
he rode away.
The bay horse leaped flower bed. They
were almost 10 the drive when The girl
uttered a panic-stricken cry.
The captain wheeled his horse violently
and upon his return Journey went straigat
through flower bed
The girl had clssped her hands. She
heseeched aim wildly With her eyes. "oh.
please. don't believe 4. ] never walk 20
the Cd oak tree. Indeed, don't. never
--never-uever walk there"
The birdie dropped on the bay chargers
neck. The captains figure seemed limp.
With an expression OF profound detection
and gloom, ne stared or ar where the
leaden sky met the dark-green line Of the
woods The iong-tnpending rain began
20 fall with a mo1rnful patteF. drop and
drop. There was a silence.
At last a low voice said: we'll might
sometimes I might--perAaps-bu only
once in a great whne-I might walk 20
the old tree-in the afternoons
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-10-20
Tire Tirl had been fAltsring: "Grandpa'

The xiri had been ALTERING. Grandpa
On. grandpa"
The captain looked al the girl aAe r.
.urne1 MS glance from the shadow or the
ola mans shoulder. After studying Der
face a moment. be said 'N Ell, we via
70 now" He STROBE toward the door and
sis men clanked docfa~-y after him
A. THIS time there VAS the sound a
harsh cries ana rTsning footsteps from
without. The door few open AMI whirl-
v.ra composed q bICs-coated troopers
came IN with = swoop. Il was headed By
-Na lieutenant ''Oh. here you ara" he
cried. cso-aing bis breath. I'VE thought
-hif look a. the girl"
TIE captain sad intensely: shut up.
you fool"
TIE men settled 20 4 halt with a clash
and hang. There could - heard the 1uifel
sound OF many hools outside tee house.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-10-20
DON'T WAIT.

Ships tia. have been crippled By the
tempest and enfeebled by hard voyages.
are me nded and strengthened against
coming thunde=& and sea buGetinxs
while yet fn~eSsc quiet f the decks. To
wait Till they ar. again rocking In mid
ocean s.orms Is to tempt the destroying
angels. And Dr. Copeland " onid X md
IL warn the invalid that one months
treatment now, at cost Of So, inclusive
ef medicines. and aided by summers
helpful nursing. f. worth twS months Of
uuhnI docterinx aga nsf the rixors and
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-10-20
rovyrisht. Isss, by Irving Bacheaer.)

s~s.yrfsht, 1876, by Irving Bachesler.)
PART :.
-. lookg as y il might rain this after
-.sr." remarked the Lieutenant Of art.l-
30 /, does" the infantry captain as
.~.sa. He glanced casually a. ,as sky.
Essu hls eyes had lowered TO the green
,sssoxed landscape before him he said
s-,ffa.ly. II wish those fellows out yOn-
~ would quit peitiug at us. They've
ssea al Il since noon"
81 tie edge OF grove OF naples. across
-rse feds. there occasionally appeared
s..,s yufTs OF smoke Of n duh hue In this
s.sgu Of SKY which expressed an impend-
= rsla The long wave OF blue and steel
: tse assG moved uneasIly at the eternal
s.rkiHg OF the far-awsy sharpshooters,
ri TIE men, leaning upon their rifles,
s.zref AZ tho grove Of naples. Once a
s-gais turned 10 borrow some tobacco
sran eomrade in the rear rank, but,
s.ss hiz hand still stretched out, ne con-
.ssed to twist his head and glance at the
ssza, trees. re was afraid the enemy
said shoot him a. a time when he was
10. boxing
ssddsnly the artillery officer said: "See
ssxsx coming"
Asag the rear OF the brigade of infan-
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-10-20

- n voice - hoarse fury. His face
Violently resl
g. 1oopers ,arcw themselves upon the
a.. LAe wolves upon great animal.
- ele whole front ~ wood there was
suss tIaeAAny of uUsketry-. with hitter,
So aAsees OF smoke that writhsd like
IS 4ean;oaas The ,roe1ers yelled shrl-
- Sp1nget tgnets low .nto the foliage
~ moment. when near the woods,
a. - Almost halted. The men struggled.
se.s-..ss - i Tor a rnc IKE swimmers en-
s...sssag powerful current. Tnan with
ess|e.s. '..e e.iort tGcy Weaj on asalu- They
fae-s - ''sety az the grove. whose fol!sge
-Aase As a wan.
srsss s-e3etly each detail ~ the calm
go. .S4iae apparent ara with a few
raal 49, lesrs the men were in tire
Ma. - % ihe wno3s. TAere was
SO. - lEel s2Fas pager. W.sas
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-10-20
CATARRH OF THE KIDNEYS.

Catsrrh of the kidneys results either
from colds or FROM overwork OF the kid
ncys I'm separating from the blood the
poisons that have been absorbed from
eatarrh Of other organs. speedy and In
exps sivs cure bv the Cope ard system
DO your hands and feet sweIi7
Is this more noticeable IN the mornings
Are they cold and ciarnmy7
Is there pain In small OF hafkl
rhe urine dark and cloudy
Does a deposit form when LETT standing?
Is there desire 70 get up at night
DO you see spots floating before the
eyes?
are the eyes dun and staring
is there a bad taste IN month";
Have you rain IN top % head7
Is your hair getting grayF
II so, is 81 silyery white
Is the skin dry anc. harsh
Is the hair dry and britsief
Il there nausea after eatfngg
Has the preparation bad odorf
Is there Dufliress under the eyes
Are there dark rings around the Syesr
Is TIRE skin pale and dry
IFas the skin a waxy fookF
DO YOU ses unpleasant things while
asleep
Have you chiliy feelings down the back
DO the joints pain and aehsG
DO the legs feel too heayyg