New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1895-06-19

,,,,.~,.. M Won consider "Jokelets" a funny
paper? 49,. ,oon,. NH.
Diggles-Not nearly as funny as the people VINO
think II funny.
A youth to fortune and to fame unknow ,,. sent h
Dumas at the Mnnusfr a 6 %,
Dumas for moment Gars yo i"e Sir propose
n,' Yoke pJ together horse and an ass The aa'
thor by return Of post wrote pw aare yeu mr. M:
S Sonr m NAV a ~" my frlend!'~Cchcago News
Gadzooks-I tell you what it Is. CONGRESSMAN
rrInmer IS one of the most extreme bimetal-
lists In the Democratic party.
Zounds-How do you make that out!
Gadzooks-Easy enough; two or three years ago
his speech was silver while just no" mis- sheHce "
golden.
There had been big wedding IN high mfe AZ ne
night before, and Brown and Robinson were az
cuss!ng Its eiores at the the, ci y oh,rso,
..H Msx', rbc Wine t7Iowed.'
h1 DS how s the boys did battle In it! No one took
too much though-exccpt Jones'
YES That's the worst OF Jones. He never knows
when he's had enough I'm sure ne was hah seas
o. Hal r. seas over? Oh mol When saw him he waA
sailing Into port. "-tBos;on Budget.
The Protestant Episcopal Convention OF the d.
geese OF Maine has just granted TO women the rsht
TO vote In parish meetings. II is rather an inter-
esting fact that Bishop Doane. OF Albany. who re-
Gently came out strongly against woman SUI
rrage usually spends his summers In Maine The
Methodlsts Of Colorado have just voted In favor
OF admitting women lay delegates to the Geh-
eral Conference.
Exceeding His Instructons.-The curtain had risen
the third act and the mSmensry nusn 'n nn pSs
stage broken ty stentorlan voice from the rear
u lis Is1 pr' Hggnsp!ker in the house?'
a tall. heavily whekered man occupying 'front.'
III Dr. Higginspiker is in the house" resumed the
sten,oran voice. ne to:d No. was to come nero
Whereupon Or. Hgglnspker. looking very red.
picked UP his hat ana cane ana wa.nea u Ssh.sgo
Tribune.
Members OF the Chicago Board OF Education DO
no, object TO teachers riding to and from school
on BICYCLES One of them, \. s. Trude, THINKS II
would be downright tyranny. just at the time when
every other woman Is riding a wheel or trying TO-
for a few men to get together and say the teachers
shall not ride to from school, MY observation
is that women who have wheels at their neeis are
not troubled with them in their heads
Ready to Quit-"Must you ever pursue me- de, d.
manded the heroine. In sudden desperation. lne
/ villain contemplated her with softened visage "a
quilt right now he declared II could get my
back salary."-(Detroit Tribune
The dismissal OF Paymaster Henry r. Smith
from the Navy Will not surprise his brother OIL
GERS although It Will awaken In them feelings OF
sympathy. Paymaster Smith was an ofiicer Oh 'hs
gunhoat Concord and tried for DRUNKENNESS
absence without leave and scandalous conduct on
the China station" Ex-Paymaster Smith has mad
an unfortunate career About six years ago. upon
his return from the China station IN the Essex
he mysteriously disappeared for about month
The police looked high and low for him without
finding the slightest cew to his movements, ana
IT was finally concluded that he had been the
victim OF foul play. lie reappeared' and refusing
TO give any account o, himself. was suspended ior
one year. Then January -. 1884, lie was cou'' '
martialled ,or absence without leave and conduct
/ unbecoming an officer and a gentleman me last
court-martlal held recently. results in his ceasHs
TO be an officer OF the Navy
SAY mister. how long before the mail man II %
round yere?' was asked OF Officer Barter yestei-
lay by very verlant hayseed. who was loyIns
with the lock attached TO United states mai poA
at Fifth and Morrison SITS , ,,. a.,
Why What do you want 10 kho" iof u"
qu.red the officer IN turn ., 90,
"'Cause I've got letter yere that want 10 se'
to my folks up the valley. -. 49, Nv
We'll look at the card on the end OF the box
that Will inform you when he'll next cali Tor ths
mail" -. .o,, Ar
Il have. but | can't wait so long,. responded VI,
Haysecd "'cause my sister Is up yonder street WIFE
our team. I've great mind 10 break that soi
burned lock TO get my letter In, as want my folk
up the valley TO know right OFF that we've got th'
measles UP 10 our place 49, -.
When Officer Barter showed the verdant one how
to drop HIS letter into the box without tampeT,hi
with the lock, Mr. Hayseed gave 'ohs' 'o'
whistle. excaimine,
"tioldurn mo, we're I've been waiting and hans
ing on two hours FOR that letter man 10 open tn
lock OF that godurned thing say, Inissr, whei
di they invent that new-fansled machine -uorI
land tMe) Telegram