davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1895-09-06

n Ccuttpeue iAlnte0 on Dish Sea red the
Guests.
The fact Of painting a fly or bee 50
true to nature that the observer at
tempts to brush II away is not SO Diff
cult as is generally supposed, remarked
a painter Of still life, reports the Bos-
ton Traveller. The art lies in making
the insect stand out from the back
ground. Not long ago a patron
brought me six sauccrs, and a card
upon which was pinned a house cent?
pede. or Thousand legs, requesting me
10 copy II exactly upon each of the
saucers So that the base Of the cup
would cover it. ! did so. Afterwards
he told me that he had given little
tea party. and, without the knowledge
Of his wife, had substituted the paint
ed saucers for the plain ones. Ills
amusement consisted ia observing the
Mortified expression on the faces of the
guests when they raised their cups,
and the quclncss with which they
put them down again to keep the
monster imprisoned. II was only when
the hostess noticed that none of the
guests drank their tea that the deccp.
ton was discovered.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1895-09-06
A MATTER or LIGHT.
This Woman Has an Experience That
Made Her Avoid Cable Cars.

This Woman Has an Experience That
Made Her Avoid Cable Cars.
There is Georgetown woman who
is put to great expense for cab fare
every time she comes over to the city on
shopping tour. for the reason that she
has boycotted the cable cars. says the
Washington Post. The reason of this
Is Enthusiastically feminine one.
She is Of rather sallow complexion, and
cannot stand certain lights. One day
she was returning home or the cars.
about that time in the afternoon when
the sun sends his beams slantward from
the west. Suddenly a male acquaint-
ance approached her. and in agitated
tones inquired If she were i'll.
why. mol never felt better in INV
life" said she. "Why?"
We'll. you look SO queer" faltered
he. "a kind of sickly green, as il you
had cholera"
Then she noticed that the sun. shin
ing through tine pale green fan lights,
gave - his face just the hue he de-
scribca. And that is the reason why
you couldn't hire that woman To ride
on cable car to Georgetown in the
afternoon.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1895-09-06

PROFESSIONALS Are Unable to Account fer
Increasing Prosperity.
II the average reader can divest him.
self of the anxiety induced by trouble
between capital and labor At a time
when their harmonious action would
be 50 potent in the promotion of gem
cral prosperity, there is amusement in
the efforts Of some Of the organs that
arc trying to make political capital
out OF the strikes now going on in the
country. This disposition is especially
noticeable on the part OF those papers
that think the republican party should
make the tariff question the leading
issue in the next national campaign
and are doing all in their power to in
fate the boom of Gov. Mckinley. They
may possibly bc embarrassed by the
fact that they are publishing their own
Inconsistencies broadcast. bat there Is
a heroic effort to conceal this conces-
sion to common honesty behind bold
front and a reckless indulgence In un.
supported assertion.
No explanation is attempted Of their
contradictory claims that prosperity
has come because republican congress
has been elected, and that there are
serious labor troubles because of un-
wise legislation on the part Of the
democrats when in power. Whatever
plcascs the people these organs credit
to their party. Whatever is regretted
by popular Judgment they charge to
the democrats. Pursuant to such poll
cy they of course attribute the present
strikes to repeal Of the Mckinley
laws 1t would be sufficient answer to
this absurd claim to recall the disas-
trous uprisings Of labor when those
laws were operative. but this would
give an inadequate idea Of the gro
tesque attitudes which these boomers
are assuming.
Those who own the ore mines in tho
upper peninsula are still the bcnc-
ficiarics Of a protective tariff, which
they acknowledge to be entirely salts
factory. The demand for their product
is brislxer than IL has been for years.
and IL they are not bagging all the
profits incident to advanced rates il Is
attributable to their own lack OF bust
nNss foresight The carpet manufac-
turers Of Philadelphia get free wool
and hence pay less for their raw ma
terial There is IN ample demand for
their products and IL is difficult to see
how a reduction Of expenses would i'm
pair their ability TO meet the demand
OF the weavers for better wages The
same fact has "a like significance with
the manufacturing clothicrs OF New
York. and they are oil the better of
tended since the Wilson bill went into
force. There is no attcmp; on the
part Of the ,,rotcctionists TO tell what
causes the conditions they affect TO
lament. but they go II blind and de-
clare that there Is safety only in tho
restoration of Neutrality-suspicious.
Free Press
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1895-09-06
HUMOROUS.

Eli Jimmy. wot's de matterr~
Backs blistered.- ''swimmin' OF
lickin'?- Both. Chicago Record.
They say Hamsby is generous to
q fault" Yes. he is. IL it happens to
be one Of his own faults y Buffalo Ex-
press
In = Bad Boat-"So De Land has
taken to navigation 'Ihaven't heard
OF IT," Eyes: he's been arrested for
sailing under false colors- "-Detrois
Free Press
--Jack-"l think my brother is an
awful cross fellow" Mother-"Don't
you think you're q little to blame at
times. Jackg- Jack-"No; because he
can't help tits the W in his name
makes the i'll Will.--Iiarper's Round
Table.
-Bellefeld-.'I understand that
Mrs. Spiffins claims to be self-made
woman Bloomfeld-"It isn't quite
true. My wife has seen her add the
finishing touch-rut on her com
plexion. Pittsburgh Chronicle-Tele-
graph.
The Best Man -wigglcs-''who
was TIC OtSi I.18u ~ MISS JOO
wedding?" Giggles all thought
that her father was until we found out
that his wedding gift Of one-hun-
dred-thousand-dollar check was only
dummy
What excuse have you to offer
for your beha Tor. Jack? C"me-.reals
up." II haven't ANYTHING Ia say until
! see my mother" sai the iny. I'VE
have . rule Il, our SCHOOL that no cx-
cuses are COOL unless written by one
of boys parents. ani ! amt a-goin'
20 break It r-IIarpcr's Bazar.
--Mother---Where have you been,
Johnny? Your hair Is dripping wet
and your stockings are full of sand.
Surely you haven't been in bathing,
when told you You mustn't?- Johnny
That's just like woman; always
trying to find out how man spends
his time when away from the house!~
Boston Transcript
The stout man wiped OF his fore
head. "Yes, l was good deal run
down before ! got bicycle" he said;
but now" he added. determinedly
gripping the handles and taking aim
at an old lady crossing the street. .'it
is the other people who are that way
The old lady was piled up in the gut
tern. Y. Recorder.
-Gratuitous Inscrtion.-"That's all
right" The advertising manager
leaned over the PROSTATE form Of the
burglar whom he had caught in his
room He had struck the robber down
H.,,t ~. hand xxas IN ;u vx,d bv fbe lIps~
IL put IL in a bold-faced type. be ninrs
INJURED. Then kicking the fallen rob.
Der. he again scanned the mans face.
"Nicely illustrated with cuts" he con.
tinucd,- but I'll not charge You for
the display Then the moon went be-
bird cloud and wept, willie the
stricken thief Srosncd inwardly. N
Y. World
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-09-27

sumod To shine, and his cousin falsi1led
his sinister predictions by prospecting be-
yond tho usual lot of man.
There is scarcely an intelligent human
being who does not recognize the element
called "luck' in shaping our destinies.
There is n family in Philadelphia that
has been rich since 1880, and the third
generation is now basking in luxuries
won for them by "1uke" as pronounced
as winning in the lottery. There was IL
firm here of three partners, doing a large
western business. Two Of them were ox-
cellCnt business men, tho other q mere
dead weight and his partners resolved to
get rid of him. So they dissolved the firm.
and taking the cash and bills receivable
made him take his share in 100 acres If
land in the northern part Of the town site
of Cincinnati. He kicked, but was bullied
into compliance. So they made new
partnership, went on getting richer and
richer, while the other partner was max
ing poor living trucking on his city
land. Then times changed. Lots in Gin
cinnati began to sell; the rich partners
failed and died poor, while their victim
grew into millionaire. No forethought
or sagacity could have under the circum-
stances brought about such a result.
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-09-27
An Insnnerahle Obstacle.

Together with the question of bloomers
for women, some Of the souls which i'm
agine themselves to be filled with aesthetic
longings arc making desperate effort at
another revival Of the long desired knee
breeches or knickcrbockers. They allege
that trousers are baggy at the knee and
liable to become dirty at the ankle. They
also hold up the knee breeches as things Of
beauty and call upon masculine fashion to
adopt them.
We do not think it will be done. We
need not dispute with the aesthetics rs to
the beauty of breeches themselves, as the
fatal deficiency is in the men. 1t is sad
fact that the majority of masculine hu
manity is subject to indictment as being
spindle shanked. 1t is bad enough to have
the suspicion borne in upon our souls
without having it paraded before our eyes
upon the streets.
The stockings and knee breeches of the
past centuries, idealized by art, look very
imposing, but when n realistic picture Of
shrunk shanks is presented the aesthetic
quality disappears. Trousers have served
the nineteenth century well. They are the
custom of the age of steam, electricity,
ironclads and newspapers. 1t is not to
be expected that the twentieth century
will go backward on the dial of progress
and produce n generation that is enslaved
by knee breeches, garters and shoe buckles
-Pittsburg Dispatch.
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-09-27
Gnnll Salary.

In former times Presbyterian congrega-
tons in tho north of Ireland were not, as a
general thing very liberal in their pay
ments to their ministers. In one such con-
gregation there was u well to do farmer,
who cultivated several acres of ground and
was tho owner of numerous floCks and
herds.
This man was in the habit of contribut-
ing two and sixpence year toward the
support Of his church, and even that he
paid with grudgo. One year, when he
was asked for it, he grumblcd as usual,
and finished by saying:
"This prcachin ought to be unco' good,
for it's unco' dCarr'
Even the small sums that were promised
were by no means always paid. An an
nual stipend of less than two and sixpence
has been known to be ~ years in arrears.
Tho following entry occurs in the diary Of
one of the hard worked ministers of those
days:
"Settled with the treasurer of my con-
gregation for my annual stipend. Amount
under g10. Providence has cast my lot
among a peculiar people; they promised
me little, and they pay me less. ''-Youth's
Companion.
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-09-27

telegraph operator at Maricopa had neg
| lected to give us meeting order for this
train. Had it not been for the pumps we
would have dashed on to what would prob
ably have been one of the most terrible
collisions in the history of railroads
"Now comes the remarkable part of the
story. From the time we left Big Wells
both pumps worked like charm-bear in
mind that found nothing whatever the
matter with the pump that had taken
down, and there was apparently no reason
for it's not working-and she old engine
seemed to dart along with twice her usual
speed. Gradually she began to pick up
time again. and in the next 50 miles we
made up 10 minutes, which was lightning
speed in those days. There were just 10
minutes to make up the last 90 miles in,
and need not say that we pulled into our
destination on time. Herewas an instance
of cranky engines saving a collision that
would probably have resulted in great
loss of life and property.
"Railroading is full of such experiences.
AS to the peculiarities Of engineers, it is
not best for mo to say much, for 1 am a
queer sort of fellow myself. But there
is one engineer running on this road now
who thinks his engine can feel, for when
she doesn't run fast enough to please him
he beats her with heavy oak club that he
always has aboard the locomotive when he
takes her. Old Hank Turley, who ran on
the Central Pacific from Ogden to Reno
for % years, would never sleep anywhere
but in his engine cab when he was out on
the road, because, he said, he knew from
hundreds of experiments that his own en-
CINE wanted constant company day and
night in order to give the best speed in
her. He told me that he had left his en-
CINE alone several times in the roundhouse
at night, just to prove to himself that he
made no mistake in his belief, and that he
invariably made poor time and had much
trouble with the machinery for several
days afterward.
1.-THE locomotive engineers here think
heap more of their engines than the east
ern engineers. Many man out here will
stick to an old engine after it has become
so worn and old as to be dangerous, be-
cause he can't bear to give up his old ma
chine. 1 suppose the memory of the plains
and hundreds Of miles we travel on the
plains without seeing villages and cities as
the engineers do in the eastern states
makes the western men more attached to
Elcir engines.-Los Angeles Cor. New
York SIM
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-09-27
GRANT AS A POKER PLAYER.
Hs Had Nerve and Self Possession and
Was Always Cool.

Hs Had Nerve and Self Possession and
Was Always Cool.
An army officer has recently been relat.
ing some "reminiscences of his to reporter,
among which is the following:
"Thc difficulty we all experienced in
playing poker with Grant" remarked
this officer, twas his extreme reticenoe and
wonderful impassiveness, which none
could penetrate Ninety-nine men out Of
hundred, under the excitement of high
play, will betray emotion to greater or
lesser extent, but Grant was a sphinx that
never spoke. He was always cool and self
possessed, oven when the wine flowed too
freely and we were all somewhat the worse
for wear. No one could measure the
strength or weakness of Grants hand by
any outward sign or the circumstances of
his play. Apparently he was obliyous to
all surroundings, but close inspection re-
vealed the fact that he watched his advGr
sarics narrowly and could detect Il bluff
with unCrring certainty. He would call a
man with an inconsidGrablc pair when it
cost good round sum to see the bet.
"It was undoubtedly the outcome of
military genius which enabled Grant to
detect either the strength or the weakness
of his adversary at cards. We did not then
comprehend that his play was strategic,
and his methods of gaming really conduct
ed upon military principles. Subsequent
events developed that his passion for gam
ing was not hedgcd upon winning money
nearly as much as it afforded him oppor-
tunity to engage in strife and conquer.
General Rufus Ingalls,, who, in 1871, was
a captain and assistant quartcrmaster, and
subsequently attained the rank of quarter
master general, was one of the Pacific
coast party which played daily with Grant,
but although recognized as past master Of
the game, Ingalls, was no match for the
little close mouthcd infantry captain.
Zen Holiday, the pioneer mail contractor
of that section, was likewise on the poker
tapis with Grant, and so were Joe Lane
and Jim Ncsmith, both senators subse-
quently from Oregon, the former the can
didate for the vice presidency on the ticket
with John G.. breckenridge in 1860. Ben
Holiday was an invctorate poker player,
but Grant, Ingalls, Lane, Ncsmith and
Holiday are all dead, and but few are now
alive of the old coterie which gathered to-
gethor at the card tables of that epoch on
the shores of the Pacific. Washington
Post.
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-09-27
HAVE YOU BEEN
ABROAD ?

If so, a complete illustration of
your trip is almost a necessity, and
the arrangement of the album is
simplitied by following your route
exactly as you travelled, interspers-
ing the paintings and sculptures
which have made an impression on
your mind in their proper places.
If you did not have time to pur-
Chase photographs while aw?y, or
if you wish to fill in pictures or
views which you were unable to Sc
cure, we can be of great assistance
to you. If you will send us an out
line of your journey, we will send a
selection of photographs to you on
approval, covering the chief points
of interest in each city visited.
The cabinet size, costing $3.50 a
dozen, may be obtained, but a larger
size may be had in most cases, if
desired, at $500 per dozen.
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-09-27
SHAKESPEARE INCOMPLETE.
He Had Not Foreseen the American Type
of Human Nature.

He Had Not Foreseen the American Type
of Human Nature.
cit is not true, ;" remarked the learned
play actor, "that Shakespeare created all
kinds of characters, for l do not find in
his dramas any characters that bear any
resemblance to the great Americans who
have figured in our country's history.
There is not in all of them even the shad-
ow of personality like A braham Lincoln,
than whom there is not finer theme for
some future American dramatist able to
illustrate the scenes in his career, from the
Kentucky log cabin to the theater in which
he was assassinated. Shakespeare has no
George Washington, no Andrew jackson,
mono of our heroes or sages none of our
many unique notables, and none of our
wOndersomo women. His creations belong
to many countries, but he never gives a
forecast of the peculiar American product
which came into existence centuries after
his death.
"Few of Shakespeare's characters would
ever have been tolerated in this country.
We could not have Falstaff among us. or
Macbeth, or Lear, or Caliban, or the ghost
of Hamlet's father, or Ophelia, much less
any of his royal or classical characters.
eve have had plenty of Americans
worthy of dramatic honors, fitted for the
tragedy, the comedy or the historical play,
totally different in their traits and deeds
from tho Shakespearean people, and the
like Of whom were never suggested or fore
Swallowed by Shakespeare. The oft repeat
ed statement that the playwriter of STRAIT
ford conceived and drew all types of human
nature and all varieties of human life is q
fiction. Should man of his genius ever
be born in the United States he would
find here an abundance of material for
dramas rs grand as ever were written. -
New York Sun.
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-09-27
Luxury.

1t is strange that the authors who have
written so much about luxury, whether
they praise it satirically, or condemn it
very seriously, or merely inquire into its
history and traditions, should never have
been struck with the amount of dscom-
fort it entails. In modern, as well as in
ancient times, the same jealous pursuit of
prodigality results in the same heavy bur
den of undesirable possessions. The youth
full daughter of Marie AntuInette was al
lowed, we are told, four pairs of shoes Il
week, and NJ. Tainc, inveighing bitterly
against the extravaganccs of the French
court, has no word of sympathy to spare
for the unfortunate little princess, con.
demned by this ruthless edict always to
wear new shoes. Louis XVI had 30 doc.
tors of his own, but surely no one will be
found to envy him this royal superauity.
Chicago Tribune.
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-09-27
ARE YOU LITERARY lN
YOUR TASTES {?

If so make an album of your ia
vorite authors. Use first the por-
trait of an author, then his home if
obtainable, and let these be fol-
lowed by illustrations of his works.
Scott, Shakespeare, Burns, Dickens
and many others may be treated in
this way, making most interest
ing collection. We also publish
full sets of illustrations for books
on art and travel, such as "The
Marble Faun," "Ben Hur," Gro
mola," Corinne," Grimm's life of
Michael Angelo" Taine's "Italy,"
and a host of others.
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-09-27
THE FlNlCAL MAN.
How He Ordered His breakfast of the
Knowing Waiter.

How He Ordered His breakfast of the
Knowing Waiter.
A man afflicted with the disease of fin
ickisIn, an ~yacgcratiOn Of the value of
details, was giving his order for breakfast
to hotel waiter. The man was finical in
the extreme, and the eXactitudo of his or
der respectfully amused the waiter, who
was somewhat of a judge of human ma
turc, inasmuch as he had served breakfast
to many men.
Breakfast time is invariably when you
get down to the bedrock Of mans true
disposition. 1t is too early in the day, and
he is too close to nature itself to have put
on the little Disgusting frills that he be-
gins to assume along about II o'clock. At
all events, the waiter understood and took
his order respectfully even servilcly, with
out losing his own estimate of the man.
The man had n morning cough and sip
ped ice water as he gave his order.
bring NE pot Of coffee, " he said
"And mind it must be hot-hot and
strong, don't forget to have it strong And
a sirloin steak, rare-remombor, have it
rare and no fat. l can't bear the sight Of
fat in the morning"
''Yessir, yessir. No fat" replied the
waiter.
"And bring me some dry toast, hot,
mind you-hot toast-and have it made
from stale bread. 1 don't want it toasted
outside and soggy within. Now don't for.
get that"
NO. sir; all right, sir; not soggy in
side, sir, echoed the waiter.
"And let's sco Yes, bring me some
fried eggs. Fresh eggs, you know, per-
fectly fresh, and l want them fried on
one side only. Don't forget that"
"Ycssir; fried on one side. And which
side, sitS'-kansas City Star.
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-09-27

fortunes of disease with iorccd smiGe
ono! My ideal is u wo nan who has 40
cepted her being as sacred trust, and
who obeys the laws of nature for the pres
ervation of her body and soul.
"Do you know, my knee involuntarily
bends in homage when 1 meet the matron
who reaches middle age in complete pres
ervation?
"That woman is rendered beautiful by
perfect health, and the stalwart children
by her side arc her reward. That's my
ideal woman. London A. yurtiser.
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-09-27
A Land of WindmiIls,

Western Kansas is entirely unlike Hol-
land because of the scarcity, almost alb
sence. Of water, but is becoming very like
the Dutch lowlands in the great album
dance of windmills which arc becoming SO
numerous as to fill up the landscape. In
the town Of Wilson traveller counted ~
windmills in view from the hotel veranda.
There is an excellent water supply u few
feet below tho surface in that region, and
every man has an individual supply,
raised by the windmills.- Chicago Trib-
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-09-27
Crockett's Revenge,

There is story of Crockett, of "Stickit
Minister" fame, to the effect that when he
offered his first volume to a Scotch firm
they returned it with a polite note assur-
ing him that there was no market for that
sort of thing. The letter was marked "No.
396b." In later years when the same
publishers asked him for one of his manu-
scripts he politely requested them to refer
to their previous correspondence with him
marked "396b"
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-09-27
The VesuVius Path,

An improved path has been made up
Vesuvius which starts from Pompeii. 1t
is managed by the directors of the Hotel
Diomede at Pompeii, and to good pedes-
trian the labor is not excessive. The ascent
is made on ponies to the base of the cone
the same us in the cable road on the other
side of the mountain, but the cone itself
is reached on foot.
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-09-27
He Didn't Know.

SIS this the way to Warcham?" asked
Massachusetts girl on her bicycle of n way
side farmer, adopting the local pronuncia-
ton of the towns name
"Dumbed if l know, was his reply. IT
never wore anything like them things. -
New York Tribune.