The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-04-21

T.
may so without gentlemen as escorts. for
the number OF ladies generally outnumbers
that OF men al weddings
As TO visits. fifteen minutes Is quite long
enough Tor formal one. and the proper
hours are counted as between three and
siN The most formal ones being between
four and five. while ones inumates drop In
between five and six Well-bred people do
not write "R. s Y. p" on a dinner invi-
tauon nowadays as ones friends are sup
posed 10 know that such an invitation re
quires an answer. and the letters suggest
giving a lesson In pOliteness. II is very
ndu form Tor "a man who meets either "a
married lady or an unmarried one al a
tea 10 presume 10 call on either without a
sugges iion that he would be welcome. And
% the bye, when Mr. Algernon smith is
old enough to pay a formal visit he is
quite old enough TO take care of his own
hat and coat. and to retain his immacu-
late gloves. And also by the bye (al-
though Boston objects TO this), in enter
ing theater. lady precedes a gentle
man down the aisle with the usher ahead
of her. This method is preferred because,
II the gentleman were a head he could not
protect the lady from being pushed
against, and 4 makes il somewhat easter
FOR her to take the inner sea; and leave
the outer one for her escort
! think that is all they have asked me.
believe / have done my duty as solemnly
as know how, and l hope / won't bring
on my innocent head the Judgment Of the
writers on etiquette who do know such an
awful lot. They always say. as If IL
was the easiest thing in the world BE
at once reserved and yet pleasant" 1t
sounds very easy. In real life II Is very
difficult. Then, too, there are situations
where Il might be possible and others
where 1t mightn't. l can imagine a COM
binaion Of reservity and pleasantly
when YOU have the toothache, and know
the dentist IS going TO take 1t away very
soon That IS, when there Is hope in the
| future; but l can't imagine a combina-
ton OF reserve and pleasure at an auc-
ton You want to get something, and
four other women want Il Just as much
as you do. You said dollar. and that
hateful woman said a dollar ten. And
then woman who dyes her hair said
dollar fifteen; and then you said a dol
lar and quarter and tried TO look pleas
ant; and then the other woman said a
dollar and fifty cents. and you try 20
took reserved, and only succeed, in achiev-
ing AN expression of crossness. The auc-
tioneer remembers your name and speak
to you and you feel pleased, but not re-
served, because you laugh. tell YOU It is
wise auctioneer who finds out the
names Of the different women. Women
love to be Thought of Importance. They
like to have Mr.. French call out. when
he Is selling Corot, and he knows an
awful lot about pictures; Now, Mrs.
Calvert. you are judge OF good work,
you are not going to see this beautiful
picture go for a mere song" And Mrs.
Calvert feels that she Is appreciated aud
bids on the picture; and, suddenly, the
agreeable auctioneer says. why, Mrs.
Tompkins, didn't see you before; | don't
pretend to teach you anything about this
picture. You have forgotten more about
art than / ever knew. I'll just ask you
to look at It," And Mrs. Tompkins
raises the bid, and so the tempter goes
on. and lovely woman tries to be reserved
and squanders her money. l always
think, when l go to an auction, andsI so
/ often, that the only safety for me lies in
| Mr.. French not seeing me: for IL he does,
/ / am gone. And l am one In a hundred
who knows that pleasure is certainty,
while reserve Is a. positive doubt.
Then the etiquette book says. never dis
| cuss personalities. Speak Of things, not
people" Wen, your bosom friend calls,
and you start china as discussion. l
4 mean china cups. not the Chinese war.
] Ethelinda says Did you ever see such
mean china as Mrs Parvenu had on her
/ table the other day?" And you tip-tilt
| your nose as If you smelt something not
/ quite nice and answer: She is horrid
I thing, anyhow. l am surprised that you
| went to her house"
And Ethelinda says; "Oh, she says such
/ funny things. You know, her daughter is
/ going to marry an Englishman. They
| made their money in the retail way In
/ Chicago. / think. Well, a society reporter
went TO interview Mrs. Parvenu about the
i wedding, and she came down stairs in her
wrapper, and think of II, dearest, she said
1 to him: i hope you viii excuse my APP
| pearance, but / thought l had better not
i keep you waiting and SO just came down
IN my non de plume Then l told
! Ethelinda forgetting all about the china:
| II can give you a better one than that
| The daughter was out on the Veranda one
night and some one said to her mother:
| Mrs. Parvenu. you ought TO tell Miss
/ Mary to come in; she has no wrap on, and
there Is a strong draught out there, and
| she looks very delicate Mrs. Parvenu
replied oh. no. you are very much mis-
taken; Mary is the most indicate girl
well" said Ethelinda. there is a
story about the father that l think is
worse. The daughter introduced Mr.. W.
| D. Howells TO her father. saying: Father
this is Mr. Howells,. the great writer;
| Old Parvenu grabbed him by the hand
/ with this greeting: Glad to meet you,
sir, and If ever at any time you want
| an account of anything that is going on
tell you everything and give you a bill
| of fare But" added Ethelinda, bad
as this was, there is something worse
They have a younger daughter who is
woman, who is forced to earn her living
is her day goVerness. The other morning
this snip said: I had such a good time
last night. and then proceeded to tell
seen. The lady said: i had a pleasant
Where were your asked Miss snoo
Paryenu
answered the lady and by-the-by, add
ed Ethelinda, this is the most exclusive
affair in Washington
'Oh. said this impudent girl, I though.
they only had nice people there My
dear" added Ethelinda, THAT young wo-
man needs the services of the professional
yes" said 1, "one can forgive ignor-
ance, but one can't forgive that sort OF
thing"
mo" said Ethelinda, blood will tell. ."
And then we looked at each other and
realized that we hadn't lived up to the
book of etiquette; that we had been talk
ing about people and not things. And
If ever there were two guilty wretches
they were Ethelinda and her friend,