The herald., 1895-02-20
DooLEY's VERSION OF rRILBY
CHICAGO POST

'Jawn," said Mr. Dooley, "d'ye want
a book to read?'
"I don't mind" said Mr.. McKenna.
Take this home with ye," said Mr..
Dooley, sliding a volume across the bar.
"An' read it behind the dure, an be
get hold of it. It's French book an ,
tough
Trilby, said Mr.. McKenna, examin-
ing the cover That's a queer name.
Where did you get it and what's it all
Dooley, "an' it's about a girl be tn name
iv Thrlby, French girl, dye mind. I'll
tell ye. Ye see, this here girl Thrilby,
she amt no better than she ought to be,
an tn beginnin iv the shtory she's a
milkman. l tell We thrue. Yen see f'r
ye'erself So she gets in with some lads
that does be learnin to paint pictures in
the city iv Paris, France, an she gets
sthuck on wan iv thim-a kid be tn
name iv Little Bllee. Now this here kid
his people is hazard workin', industri-
Gus people, an they re sore again him
marryin' this here Thrilby, for she's no
better than she shonld be- so he goes off
an gets his little skate on be himself an
two Frinch sojers be tn name iv-well,
niver mind tn name iv thim-an' has the
delirum thremens to beat tn divvle.
$50 then they're two other lads come in
wan a greeser with long whiskers like
fire escapes be tn nme iv Molasses Candy
an th' other a Scotchman called tn lard
because iv him bein' smooth lad.
Well, things goes on from bad to worse an
more of it whin in comes Jew
man-what TIL ellis his name-well,
niver mind, Wen call him Mose-an'
a tougher lookin' gazabo ye niver
see in yer life. He's a piano chuner
an theayter manager. That there's him
with th' whislkprs all over his hpnI. Rut
they was nawthin' th matther with Nose
He was all right He had the evil eye an
he goes an puts tn comether over this
here Thrilby an takes her round the
wurruld shown her in tn theayters she
done one night stands in Rooshiaan
Boolgaharia an think | see her wanst at
the Lyceem, but maybe I'm wrong.
Anyhow, twas dam good thing f'r
Nose whin he stole her away firm tn
kid, f'r he can make more coin be means
iv her singin' thin he could be chunin
pianos. Ye see, she culdn't sing whin
he wasn't around, FIR save an excipt
whin his evil eye was on her she had
voice like Mulligan's COW. an was only
good FIR wan song, Don't Ye Raymimber
Sweet Alice, Ben Bolt But whin he had
her right she'd melt tn hea-art iv amy
wan. Well, things wint on firm bad to
worse, an tn kid was called home an got
into row with a Prowtestant minister.
This here kid was an nfidel an didn't be-
lieve in no Gawd, dye mind, not KNOWN e
amy betther, bein' rasd among the
French, who are immoral be nature. He
was still stuck on Thrllby in spite of her
bein' no betther than she shud be an
runnin' off with Nose. Wan day wan iIv
they called Molasses Candy-meets
Nose, an they have throuble, an his gum
dhrops belts TIL Jewman in tn eye. 1t
was tur-rble fight, but no wan was
killed. Thin this here Chocolate Crane
got mixin' it up with some Frinch lads,
beat tn others with him till he'd killed
most OF thin, whn he wint out an took
Tarkish bath.
"Well so it kept on firm bad to worse
an no wan heerd tell iv Nose, but he
was around countin up tn house in Roo
shia an Boolgharia an maxim money be
tn wagonload till he was wan iv th'r
night he had a fit at tn theayter where
he wa shown off Thrilby. They called
doctor, but twas no use an Nose
he foated,; So Thrilby cudden't sing
any more"
''What was the matter with her?' asked
whin Nose got his lamps off her she lost
her voice" said Mr.. Dooley
why didn't she get new manager?'
asked Mr.. McKenna.
She cudden't find wan with the evil
eye, !" said Mr.. Dooley. Her pipes was
frosted if any wan but Nose took her out.
So she had to go off tn stage"
''What did she do them" asked Mr..
McKenna.
"She wnt away an died"
''Well, that was tough.
ut was so, the poor thing"
But | don't see anything wrong about
that story" 9t hraoflr
''Iv coorse We don t. y said Mr.. Dooley,
holding his cigar between his thumb and
forefnger. ''1v coorse We don't All tn
tough things is in Frinch so that tn polls
cuddent get at thin. I-r-read- thin
there. Booswaw, Jawnny, booswaw!