Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-02-21
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND Do.
iNGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Joke1ets that Are Supposed tG
Have Been Recently Born-Sayings and
Doings that Are Odd, Curious, and laugh
able--The Weeks Humor.
Let Us All Laugh.


| thing in my head Mrs. Brown-It
must be cold, dear, I'm sure.-Judge.
Hobbs-How is your furnace work
ing this winter? Pitt-Like the mis-
| chief on warm days.-Chicago Inter
| Ocean.
Baron-My former coachman was
| drunk every other day. Are you So
Der? Coachman-O, very often.--Flie-
gende Batter
| Since the fair sex took to wearing
mems apparel the average brother and
sister are bound together by q good
many ties.-Buffalo Courier.
"Do you like golf?" asked the phila-
| delphia girl. ''I'm really not sure
whether l ever tasted any," surgled
| the Chicago girl-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
! Mrs. Bacon-It is terrible down at
your clearinghouse. You can never
get any hot water Mr.. Bacon-Only
| we have soup, my dear.-Yonkers
Statesman.
| Robert Extending a cigar)-There Is
a cigar that l can recommend. George
Thanks; but | should prefer one
that you would care to smoke yourself
Boston Transcript.
Blinks OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES a greedy
world this is; the great majority of
| people always after money. Hardup
! (sadly)-Yes; and a long way after it,
too.-Buffalo Courier.
"How could you conscientiously tell
Miss Elder that she is the only woman
| you ever loved?' ''It is a fact. Com
pared to her, the others were mere
girls. Boston Budget
They say when Cupid aims his darts,
He rarely ever misses;
Yet when he shoots at woman's heart
Ills then he makes the Mrs.
Syracuse Post.
$50 Rusher has got a job at last, Ell?
| wonder is it that one with the sleep
! ing car cOmpany?' II guess not. AT
least he told me he'd struck comfor-
table berth. Buffalo Courier.
Lillie-Why did you speak to that
horrid fellow in the car? Weren't you
afraid it would affect your standing?
| Millie-Not a bit He never offered IL
| girl a seat in his life-The Sketch.
Mrs. Goodsense is going to start a
dress reform movement here. What
do you think of it?' Mercy! ! had
never noticed that her figure was SO
bad as all that."-Chicago Inter Ocean.
Insurance agent-Any poetry in your
family? Poet-Why, yes-that isl
-" Insurance agent-Sorry you men
toned it. There are some risks the.
company won't take.-Atlanta Consti-
| tuition.
(Which do you think is correctT'
asked the studious young woman, 81
would rather go home, or had rather
go home?' Neither" replied Cholly
Nairgo 'T'd rather stay here WASH
| ington Star.
Jones-Why don't you go to work
and earn living? Smith-What's the
use? [ tried it once for a very little
| while, and no sooner did I earn dol
lar than had to spend it. So I gave
it up-New York Recorder.
Her young man-I-I-I, sir, would
like Her father-Well, what is it,
young man? Why don't YOU stop num-
bling? What have you got in your
mouth? Her young man-I-I'm afraid
it's my heart, sir.-Pearson's Weekly
First Vassar grille said he could
not live without me; that ( WAS, in
short, sine qua non. Second vassar
girl-And you said First Vassar.
girl-Well, l gave him to understand
that he was not exactly persona non,
grata-Harlem Life.
"AIr. Bluft1y,' she said, graciously,
''you are one of the most original men
have met in ever SO long You haven't
said a single word about the weather.
NO." he replied, with tinge Of regret
in his voice, Il couldn't in the presence
of Washington Star.
Married man-Why don't you, ger
married, Miss Perkins? You are, get
ting to look like "back number
YOU will soon be an old maid. Miss
Perkins-If were as easy to please RS
your wife was, would have been mar
rid long agO.-Boston Home Journal.
Mistress-I don't know what am to
do, Bridget unless you get up earlier.
Breakfast is never on the table when,
Mr.. Smith is ready for it. Bridget
don't know, mum, unless yon can pre-
vail upon Mr. Smith to have his break
fast an hour later.-BoSton Transcript
Willie Dazzle-Weally, Miss Black.
I dawnced so vigorously in that last
waltz that my head feels dwedfully
light. Miss B.-That's startling l
supposed that sensation was SO com
mon with you that you had long since
ceased to be annoyed by it.--PittsburS--
Dispatch.