Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-08-22


Little fishes In the brook
That's no cause to fiout 'em:
They'll be whales as like as NOT
When he tells about 'em.
-Washington Star
Cannot we become oneY' he pleaded
earnestly. THAT depends" replied the
new girl. (Which oneY'-Life.
81 can forgive but never forget this
whipping" said Tommy. "That IL just
what I want you to do" said his moth
er.-Boston Courier.
"Jones Is always growlin' at tho
world" "Yes; made before he was
born; an he didn't have a chance at It."
Atlanta Constitution.
"The coming woman doesn't seem to
arrive" said Binks. mo-" said Tub
ley. "She's probably putting on her
hat."-Harper's Bazaar.
Hotelkeeper-Wbat's the matter
here? You're just raising the deuce!
Waiter-No, sir; just dropped the
tray.-National Hotel Reporter.
'No, Maude, dear, we do not think
the cats voice Is musical even II the
animal Is full Of violin and banjo
strings Record.
II see that Johns speakin' on tho
financial question" "Oh, yes" whats
the old man doin'?" 'Furnishin' the
finances. Chicago Times Herald.
Tramp-Say, boss, could yer give
Teller dime fer a square mealf Kind
Certainly, II the meal il
good one. Where is it?-The State.
"What In the world shall I do with
baby, John? She's crying for the
moon" That's nothing. Wait till
she's 10, and then she'll want the earth"
Truth.
"If within the business world
You make yourself berth,
Let printers ink the fact unfurl
That you are on the earth"
Dalton Argus.
Carleton-Did you daily with the
breakers at Asbury Park? Montauk-
Yes; met three charming girls, and
they broke me in a week.-Brooklyn
Eagle.
The Mother-How do you know that
he has ceased to love yOu2 Marriagea-
BILE Daughter-He buttons my gloves
twice as quick as he used to.-Syracuse
Post.
Dorcas-My dear, you remind me Of !,
the new patent folding bed you bought.
Mrs. Dorcas-How so, love? Dorcas-
Because you are so hard to, shut up
Judge. =
In a New England restaurant The
Guest-What can get here? The Mat
ron-We have coffee as mother used to
make 1t. The Guest-Well, gimme tea.
-Pittsburg Dispatch. ~ ST F.
'Tis the same old picnic sorrow ~
That comes as the seasons fly;7r
The man with the whitcst pantaloons
Sits down In the pinkest pie.
Washington Star.
"Some people," remarked the canni-
bal chief, as he passed his plate for Q
second supply, have a mission In LIFE,
while others only have missionary"
Chicago Times Herald
Peddler-That little book on How
to Preserve the Hair" Is the key to the
entire situation. Baldy-I am very sor-
ry; but haven't single lock that II
would fit-Household Words.
He-Do you think blondes have more
admirers than brunettes? She-I don't
know. Why not ask some Of the girls
who have had experience In both ca
pacities New Haven Union
She-Surely, my dear. you will con-
slider the matter carefully before con-
senting to Clara's marriage to old Mr..
eastman. He-Certainly. I shall have
his books examined by an expert.-Life.
"You seem excited, dear. what has
happened?" "Poor Jack Murray, have
Just rejected him." "Oh, don't mind q
little thing like that. Why, reject him
every six monthsr'-Louisville Journal
There was man in our town,
And he was wondrous wise,
He never Dragged to his dear wife
About his mothers pies.
indianapolis Journal.
First Tramp-What would you do II
you had a hundred thousand dollarst
Second Tramp-In that case think I'd
feel 1t absolutely necessary to 60 to
work to make 1t q million.-Roxbury
Gazette.
"a mortal can never tell where he's
going to be next In this life," said the
moralist. mo-" replied the man, with q
bandage over his eye, especially IL he's
learning to ride a bicycle."-Washing-
ton Star.
what is the greatest difficulty you
encounter In a journey to the arctic
regions" asked the inquisitive man.
Getting back home," was the prompt
reply of the professional explorer
Washington Star.
Little Elsie docking at the giraffe at
the Zoo)-"Oh, mammal They have
made that poor thing stand In the sun,
haven't they" Mamma-aWhy do You
say that my dearT Little Elsie
"Look at all its freckles, "-PhiladelphIa
Record.
Landowner Ito party bobbing In the
stream)-"Hello. therei don't you see
that sign, No Fishing H9re'7" Angler
Yes; amt 1t ridiculouss Fine fishing
here; just look ut that for a string
(holding up dozen or twenty big fell
lows); beauties, amt theye The chap
who stuck up that sign evidently didn't