davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
The Baby Alarm,

The most curious continuance to
which the brain of the ingenious In
ventor has given birth Of late is the
''baby alarm" At first blush there
would seem to be little market for
this new patent; for the baby is gen.
orally perfectly successful as his OWE
alarm. To this fact President Cleve-
land can probably testify, as we'll as
many other unlappy-excuse us, hap
py-father of three infants. A SEN
sitive microplone. placed near the cot,
is connected to a battery and an induc-
ton coil and thence by wires to O
small electromagnetic. When the baby
cries, the microphone sets up an un-
dulatory circuit. which actuates the
electromagnetic, and by it's oscillation
closes IL bell circuit. The bell will
ring as long as the child cries. This
would seem to be a twinning of mis-
cry. Nevertheless the new 'baby
alarm" may come into high favor with
nurses. who can thus go down into
the kitchen and fiirt with the cooks
policeman Philadelphia Record.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13

III 0aelgaatfen ana RreDhstio Mos
sage 70 kheAlve TewAk Pasha.
A correspondent says: One chilly
morning ut Euex, In the winter Of 1870
30. I received a message from Cd.
Gordon. He had just landed from
euaklm, and wished to see me. 1
found him seated in room at the old
Suex hotel, with his black secretary
and trusty factotum, Mahomed Ell To-
hamy, and a few friends, including the
governor of the town.
Poor Mahomed I'll Tohamy (who was
destined to see his master fall at
khartoum, and probably shared his
fate) was looking cold and miserable,
and noticed he was slipping some hot
mixture, of which the aroma did not
seem familiar.
On my entering, Gordon exclaimed:
-! have resigned the governor gen.
cralsllip OF the SOudan, and aMreturn-
Ing to England. The khedive's minis
tiers dared to send me instructions, and
~ have resigned. Now, tell me,
honestly, what will the world say Of
my work In the Soudan after the years
l have spent there? What Is the up
parent resulty'
l said something to the effect that
his name would live and be rcmem-
beretl.
"Aye," he replied. "but what visible
trace remains Of my exile and labor?
1t is now Gods will that l should
abandon my task, and there Ia absO-
iutely nothing to shOw-nothing for
the world to gaze at-eXcept-" he
added this with a curious smile, and,
pointing to the shivcring son of the
tropics Mt the other side of the table
except. perhaps, that I have taught
my Mohammetlan secretary to drink
hot toddy in the morning."
Certainly Gordon's Work waa not in
tended for show. At Alexandria he
had an audience with the late Khc,live
Tewfik Pasha ,at which lie rendered
his resignation. and then. removing
his fez-the badge Of allegiancc-ad-
dressed some words Of stirring advice
to his highness, "as from an independ-
ent English gentleman" Before en-
barking for Europe, Gordon wrote a
famous telegram to the khedivc,
Meme, Meme. Tckel. Upllarsin."
which was shown to me and to the
correspondent. but 1t is a question
whether 1t was ever dispatched from
Malta. In any case. 1t was curiously
prophetic Within two years the Sou
dan was In open revolt and Egypt I'M
der foreign control.-ScottisllAm cri.
| can.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
CAUSED BY VACCINATION.

fFrom the Journal. Detroit, Mich.)
Every one in the vicinity Of Meldrum
avenue and Champlain street, Detroit.
Knows Mrs. Mcdonald. and many q
neighbor hiss reason to feel grateful to
her for the kind and friendly interest
she has manifested in cases of illness.
She is a kind-hearted friend, a natural
nurse, and an intelligent and refined
lady.
To a reporter she recently talked at
some length about DR.. Williams Pink
Pills. giving some very interesting in
stances In her own immediate knowl-
edge of marvellous cures, and the uni
ycrsal benenccnce of the remedy to
those who had used 1t.
/" / have reason to know" said Mrs.
Mcdonald Something OF the worth Of
this medicine, for it has been demon
strated in my own immediate family.
My daughter Klttte is attending high
school. and has never been very strong
since size began. / suppose She studies
hard. and she has quite a distance to go
every day. When the smallpox broke
out all of the school children had to be
yacciaatcd 1 took her over to DIR. Jane
son ard he vaccinated her. l never saw
such an arm in my life and the doctor
said he never did. She was broken out
on her shoulders and back and was just
as sick as she could be. To add to 1t
all neuralgia set in and the poor child
was in misery. She Is naturally Of n
nervous Temperament and she suffered
most awfuily. Even after she recovered
the neuralgia did not leave her. Stormy
DAYS or days that We're damp or pre-
ceded a storm. she could not 80 out at
all. She was pale and thin and had no
appetite.
~ have forgotten just who told me
about the Pink Pills, but I got some for
her and they cured her right up. She
has a nice color in her face, eats and
sleeps we'll. goes TO school every day,
and is we'll and strong III every partic-
ular, / have never heard of anything to
build UP the blood to compare with
Pink Fills. l shall always keep them in
the house and recommend them to my
neighbors."
DIR. Williams Pink Pills for Pale Peo-,
ple are considered an unfailing specific
in such diseases as locomotor ataXia.
partial paralysis, st. N::us' dance. SCI
atica. neuralgia. rheumatism, nervous
headache, the after-etfects of In grippe,
palpitation of the heart, pale and sal
low complexions, that tired feeling re-
eulting from nervous prostitution; all
diseases resulting from Nitiated humors
in the blood, such as scrofula. chronic
erysipelas. etc. They are also specific
for troubles peculiar to females. such
as suppressions, irregularities and all
forms Of weakness. In men they effect
a raiic:., cure IN all cases arising from
mental worry. overwork. or excuses Of
whatever nature. DIR. Williams Pink
pills are sold by all dealers, or will be
sent post paid on receipt of price $50
cents box. or six boxes for S2.5o-they
are never sold in bulk or by the lGW By
addressing DR. Williams Medicine Co..
Schenectady. n. y.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
A nor.c Of Another Color.


SIT is something" museG the poet.
Ito have an imagination that scorns
the bondage Of earth and scars I'M
trammclled through the ceru'eaD ill.,
finity."
He paused TO jot the phrase "ceru-
lean inlinity" in his note book, hoping
to make use Of it a, some future
time.
But"
He gazed wistfully into the window
Of q cheap restaurant where the white
robed cook was industriousiy turning
sinkers, ito have the price of plate
of ham and beans in your pockets is
another thing"
He sighed meckiy and once more
mingled with the hurryins throns.-
Truth.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
Bicycles Now and Next y.or.

The flood of inventions that ia beinp
poured into the bicycle market is al
most unprecedented. Bicycle tires,
gears, lamps, stands and every part
of bicycle have been used as Il basis
of experiment. A clever Canadian Of
fered to a manufacturer a neat and
practicable little device to make bicy-
clcs stand. 1t could, he said. he car.
ried on every wheel, and he wanted q
royalty. He was met by the response
that bicyclists were stripping their
wheels of every ounce of superfluous
weight, and that in the struggle for
lightness many men went so far rs to
leave the tool bags off their wheels,
and In case Of breakdowns on the road
they depended on kindly disposed bi.
cyclists who carry theirs along. Sew.
eral devices have been invented for
facilitating the manufacture of
wheels. 1t is said that the woman's
machine Is n difficult thing for the
maker to produce and keep up to
date, for the reason that the improve
ments are being made Mt rapid rate,
the needs Of the woman blcyclist be.
Ing better understood. Saddles are
turned out ut terrific rate by q new
machine. One machine cuts the leath.
or into assorted sizes. These are
passed into another machine, and
when they appear again they IRE COM
plete. The hubs, washers, spoke nip
pies and all the other small parts are
handled separately by skilled men.
One authority maintains that the
wheel of the future will be of wood,
and believes that the hickory bicycle
will lead all others In popular favor.
There are NIL sorts of prophecies as to
next years bicycles, but SO far there
is little beyond conjecture. What is
announced Is that the wheel will be
heavier by a few pounds and great
deal stronger. The tendency il to re-
action against the lightness and finn
siness Of wheels that cannot stand
wear and tear. 1t is also said that
the wheels will have a greater diam
eter and the tire will be about one-llalf
larger than that now in use. This
increase In the size of the tire will be
mainly In the thickness of the rubber
tubing, which will lessen the liability
to puncture; six-ply rubber will not
tear as easily as two or three-ply.
Makers are looking to expeld their
skill on lessening friction and increas-
Ing speed. Although the coming wheel
is to be heavier, it will probably car
~ rider much further upon u like
expenditure Of physical energy than
the wheel of to-day, and more safely.
A large Western syndicate is to put
wheels on the market next year for
$50 each. This cheap wheel will in
crease the number of riders, for many
persons will buy it, and thus become
prospective purchasers of a wheel
that will last, who would not learn to
ride for many years vet If they wer0
compelled to pay standard prices.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13

Hoods Pills s s,e ':. q, isss. mill, eyee.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
Other Sun. than Ours.

If our sun could be us far removed
from us as are the seven stars. It
would hardly be visible in an oper,
glass, yet there are sixty or seventy
such groups as the pleiades in sight
every night, each group being COM
posed of scores Of suns larger and
more brilliant than that which makes
life in our world possible.
Alcyone is a sun 1000 times more
brilliant than our "orb of day." and
Electra and Mala are each 800 times
larger than Old Sol. Several of these
immense sun groups (taken collective
ly and not reckoned on the basis of ill.,
divitlual members) are believed to he
as much as 4O,OOO0OO,OOO miles In
diameter. If this calculation is not Mt
fault, it would take light seven years
to flash from one extreme of such a
group to the other.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
Tea superstitiins.


Even round the "cup that cheers"
some quaint superstitious notions have
been woven. For instance, IL you put
cream into your cup before the sugar
1t will "cross your love-" SO be very
careful. If, while the tea is being
made, the lid, removed to pour in the
water, Is forgotten to be replaced, It
Is a sure sign of the approaching ar
rival of a stranger. If tea stalk
floats in the cup 1t is called "beau,"
and when 1t Is seen unmarried woln-
ell should stir their tea very quickly
round and round and then hold the
spoon upright in the center Of the
cup. If the "bcau'' is attracted to
the spoon and clings to 1t lie will be
sure to call very shortly, II not That
very evening; but If the stalk goes to
the side of the cup lie will not come.
In East Anglia, however, this same
thing Is also said to denote tue COM
Ing of stranger, and II the stalk is
soft the newcomer will be n lady, II
tough a gentleman. If you want to
know how many years will clapsc be,
fore you may expect to be married,
balance your spoon OH the edge Ut
your cup, first noting. that 1t is per-
fectly dry, fill another spoon with tea
and, holding it above the balanced
spoon, let the drops of tea gather to
the tips of the spoon and gently fall
into the one below. Count the drops;
each one stands for year. II the.
cluster of small air bubbles formed
by the sugar collect and remain In
the center of the cup it is IL sign of
fair weather. II they rush to the
sides there will lie rain shortly. IN
some parts of the country these same
bubbles represent kisses; in others,
silver money. We have all heard, too,
of telling fortunes from the grounds
left in the bottom Of the cup.-IOuis.
vile Courier-journal. ~,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
Tho Modern R....-

fhrives on good food and sunshine. with
plenty OF exercise in the open air. Her
TORN CLOVIS with health and her face
blooms with its beauty. II her system
needs the cleansing action of a laxative
remedy. she uses the gentle and pleas.
Int liquid laxative. Syrup of Figs.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
Imwportn mt information.

a smart Galveston boy, coming to
New York OH one of the Mallory
steamers, said to the engineer OH the
boat:
you'll get your discharge If you
amt more careful"
"What for, sonny?"
"You forgot to wind up that clock;
the hands haven't moved since we left
Galveston replied the youth. point
in to the steam gauge.-Tcxas Sift.
ings.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
Too Much for m. N...,

Too Much for His Nerves.
Caspar CorkerSay, Scraggy Dust
mans got nervous prostratlon.
Jonas Deadbeat-Wot's dc matter
wild i'm?
Caspar Cookery see. he went in a
Of buildin' ter sleep t'other night an
we'en he got inside he saw 1t wuz q
soup factory.-Chicago Record.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
saving the Erasments.

Chemistry. like Il thrifty housewife,
economies every scrap. The horse.
shoe nails dropped in the streets are
carefully collected and rcappear as
swords and guns. The main ingre-
dent Of certain ink was once the
broken hoop Of an old beer barrel.
The clippings Of the travelling tink-
cr are mixed with the pnrings of
horses hOOfs and the worst kind, of
wooden rags, and these are worked up
into an exquisite blue dye which
graces the dress Of courtly DANES.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
Golden Rod,

Look for the first golden rod in or
near swamps. 1t blooms In the rich,
damp earth some time before the
blossoms appear OH the dry roadsitlcs,
There are eighty different varieties In
the United States. The fat-top is Of
ten taken for tansy. The dusty var
iety with bright yellow flowers. is
found In fields. tho blue-stemmetl sort
in woodlands The sweet smelling
species is easily recognized by its
bright satiny, and fragrant leaves.
The silver rod is interesting, and not
so much known as it's golden sister.
1t bears a whitish flower and it he
longs to the same family. In flower
language golden rod means encour.
ageMent.-New York Times.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
Some Advantage

"They tell me your wife is a new
woman" said the lean man with the
yellow vest. "Of course. l suppose it
is rather tender subject
ooh, l amt worrying" said the fat
man. "She's all right. She licked the
hired girl yesterday for burning the
steak. "-Indianapolis Journal.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13

Friend-say, old boy, how in the
world did you, with your small in
come, get such a reputation as great
philanthropist!
Sharp-1 announced, far and wide,
that l would pay the railroad fares Of
all the unemployed who wished to go
to work on farms.
well"
"Well. total expen,e, so fur, IL
ems. '-N"w N"rS Week..
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
On the Lawn.

Dills-Do you believe that the scien.
lists are right in saying that we are
taller In the morning than ut night?
Mtii--No; from personal experience
snow that l am n good deal shorter
IL the morning, particularly after a
aight out with the boys.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
Her Practical Suggestions.

"Do you not believe" lie mulmured
just ut that instant when the moon
sent long bar Of silver across the
water; when the song of the breakers
attuned itself to the rhythm Of heart
thr0ls; when nature was all that is
mystical and melodiors. do you not
believe that we could walk through
life together hand in hand?"
yves. Harold, DEAR" replied the
girl who has been proposed to before.
I'VE might walk it. But 1 think 1t
would be better to save up enough
money to pay car fare once in a
while" Washington Star.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
In New Quarters.

Among the business houses In Minnenpo.
u that have shown u steady growth dur
ny me past two or three years, there Is
proDaDiy not one that makes Il better
moving than the 4. NJ. Roberts Supply
company. They have been compelled by
Reason Of this growth to look for new quar-
:ers: and have removed their main office
70 the new block at Ill, il9 ana III Nlcol-
ct avenue. While the old store Is still kept
Up Tor the hardware business, the new one
= the headquarters Of the largest and most
complete supply Company" in the North
vest, where you can obtain anything from
baby rattle to an elephant. Terms cash.
They will be glad to have their many cOun-
ny friends who come to the city this fall
10 call and inspect their new place, where
! hearty welcome awaits them.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
"Hansou's Magic corn salve."
Warranted to cure o. money refunded. Ask ,,
druggist for It. Price 15 cents.
Rosie. Explanation.

The teacher told the children how n
wise man once said that We have only
one mouth aud two ears. SO that we
may listen ard iicar twice as much as
I'VE speak. Aftcrward. to see how
much of the instruction was rclncn-
bered, she asked:
"Why is it that we only l.ave two
ears and one mouth. Frances:'
because we would not have room
in our face for two mouths. and We
would look too crooked il we had one
ear"
mo, that is not the reason. You
know, do you, Rosie:"
Eyes, nnl'am Sc that What we hear
may so in one ear and cut the other"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
Popular Astronomy.

Volume 3 of this valuable magazine com.
mences with the September number. AS
Its name indicates. 1t Is II popular monthly
devoted to the science Of astronomy, and
IL almost necessity to the student and
amateur astronomer. Subscription price,
$3.50 per annum. Published by w. w.
Payne, GOOdsell observatory. Carleton col
lcge, Mortified, MINI,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
A Point of Law.

Lawyer-Your case would have been
stronger, Mr.. Mcclure, If you had act
cd only OH the defensive. But you
struck first. If you had let him strike
you first, you would lave had the law
on your side.
Mr.. McGuire-Yis. Old had til law
on moy soide, but Old had him on my
stomach a-paundin' the loifc out av
me.-New York Weekly.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
"How to Make Good Roads,"

A very interesting book on the very timely
subject of "H0w to Make Good Roads," a
subject which is Of interest to every farmer
In the Northwest and every person who
drives a horse or rides bicycle, has Just
been issued by the Passenger Department
Of .The Northwestern Line" e., st. r..
NJ. & 0. R'y. and a copy Of this book will
be sent to you free on receipt Of your adj
dress and three cents to cover cost Of post
age. T. w. Teasdale, General Passenger
Agent, st. Paul.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
Dill Not Want ~. N,

Dill Not Want the House.
She-Do you know. Harry, father
has forbidden you the house?
He-FOrbfdden ME the house! 1
never asked for his house. His dauyl,-
ter is good enough for mc.-Boston
Transcript.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13

The United States Government Re.
port OH baking powders shows Royal
superior to all others. 1t is pure, made
from wholesome ingredients, and
greatest in leavening strength. 1t is
the only baking powder for those de.
string the finest, most wholesome food.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
Splitting shackle. Asunaer

BY merely licking the muscles Of his arms
= an easy task for Sanlow, that superla-
lively strong man. You will never be
able to do this, but may acquire that de-
gree Of vigor. which proceeds from COM
will enter on course Of Hostetter's Stom-
ich Bitters, and persist In 1t. The Ritters
will Invariably afford relief to the malari-
BUS. rheumatic and neuralgia, and avert
serious kidney trouble.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
Knew Where to Find It.

EYES," sneered the Somerville man
viciously to his nephew, "you think
you have the better of me now, but.
proud as you are, ! will soon bring you
to the dust"
And he led his enemy across to Mys
tic avcnue.-Somcrville Journal.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13

"Therc" said Mr.. Johones, after a
labored explanation of why he had
stayed out SO late. II hope that il
satisfactory"
ut is more than satisfactory" Mrs.
JOhones told him. "It Is simply beau
tiful."- Journal.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
An Accommodating Domestic.

"why didn't you come when rang%
said n Texas lady to her servant.
because did not hear de bell"
replied Matilda Snowfall.
thereafter when you don't hear the
bell you must come and tell ne So
"YeS'm,"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
A Looker.On I'm Gotham.

Mrs. Mcadow-I don't won.l.. there
is SO much poverty in the city. / seen
the cause of it all the other day when
was there.
Neighbor-What did you notice?
Mrs. Observation-Disclosures. Never saw
such idlcness. Bout half the people
was loafin' on tho corners lOokin' Mt
the thermometers. and the other half
wis rusllin' round huntin' for stnndin'
room near some other thermometer
New York Weekly.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
A sy,npathetic hoy,

Mother-What axes you cry tina.
way2
Jolinnie-Onr poor teacher has been
sick SO long, and-and-
what! Did he die?'
"No--no-He is getting well-boo
hoo"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
A Natural Error.

He-Come here. Anna! Here's
vegetable peitller.
She Churrying to the door)-Non-
sense! That's the milliner with my
new hat.-Fliegende Blaetter.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
A Useless Invention.

n UseIesD InventtOns
Peddler-That little book on "How
to Preserve the Hair" is the key to
the situation.
Baldy-I am very sorry. but l have
MT single lock that It would fit
Household words.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13

drue, When VA u6naiiy ie1sfded q 8
harmless ore. No Instance Of polso1.
Gus action had ever come under the
notice Of any one Of shem there.
ut would be very difficult, II not i'm.
possible, to detect In analysis" said
one.
And that was all the conclusion that
these three wise sons Of Esculapius
could arrive at.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
In For II Anyway.

Motler-I am not whipping you be-
cause you went In swimming. but be-
cause you told me story about It.
Boy (lAubberingD-Well.i II you didn't
want to whip me anyhow, what did
you ask me about 1t for?-Harrisburg
Telegram.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
Guided Arieht,

Father-"I am very much afraid our
daughter will elope with that young
rascal"
Mother-"No danger. / reminded
her last evening that girls who eloped
got no wedding presents. and l feel
sure that my words sunk deep irto
her heart."-New York Weekly.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
Serve Hin, Right.

Paying Cashier-Madam, you will
nave to get some one to introduce you
before l can cash this check.
Lady Qhaughtily)-Rut l don't care
70 know you, sir.-Philadelphia Led
ger.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1895-09-13
Plain as Day.

"sorry, madam, but you will have to
get somebody to identify you."
'The Idea! Don't you see D.y name
right there on the chcckY'-B0stOn
Transcript.