The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1895-04-04
FALSE PRETENSES.
A "ShOrt and Stupid' Little Story tn
Points a Moral.

ihSIC 10 d very OlI SlOTy VI WOl1du
who cured her husband of the habit OF
profane swearing by taking to swear.
ing herself. On just the same princi.
pie am going to ask you to listen to a
stupid little story that shall point a
moral, in order to disgust you, as far
as my skill permits me, with all stories
that point to morals-and that don't
bear sign of warning posted conspic.
uously at the entrance.
Here is the story, and I will only say
for it that will try to make it as short
as it is stupid:
The little boy had had a pretty hard
day of it. He had worked hard at
school, and then he had gone on sever.
al errands for his mother, and he had
mended some toys for his youngest sis
ter. After dinner he had studied hard
for an hour; and then, looking at the
clock, he had found that it was just
eight o'clock, and he made up his mind
that he would read for the half hour
that lay between him and bedtime.
He had new book with pirates in it.
l think they were some of Mr.. Howard
Pyle's pirates-and / never so earnest
ly wish that could be boy again as
when | encounter Mr.. Pyle's pirates.
know of no more satisfactory pirates.
They have black, curling boards, and
rings in their ears, and their foreheads
are done up up in CORY handlerchiefs.
| never had any such pirates when l
was boy-nothing half so good-and
whenever ! run across them they wake
the boy in me to such an extent that
could lick any quantity of them. Deep
in my heart l know that couldn't. |
know that any one of them would be
too much for me; but they bring with
them the smell of gunpowder and
blood, which rouses the fighting in
stinct, and l sigh as l think of the
slaughter could have done among them
in the days of my imaginative youth.
Well, the boy had such a book as
this, and meant to read a chapter in il,
and then to go to bed to dream of
decks slippery with blood, and of belcn.
ing cannon and broken rigging and all
the rest of it.
But just then a grcwn-up came in.
The grown-up was an uncle who had
just returned to this country after a
long absence in Europe. From what
he did on this occasion l think that he
must have been living in England, and
had not got over it. He said to the lit.
lie boy:
Charles, see you are about to read.
If you will give me nice stamp out
of your album, will tell you story in
stead. Now this was great temptation
to the little boy. Any boy might buy
book and read a story out of it, but
here was an offer of an original story
told all for himself
Need I tell you what the story was
that the little boys uncle told him aft.
err the stamp had been delivered? Do
you want to hear the tale of a suppose.
tious little boy of course of just the
age of the little boy who is listening to
the story, who entertained doubts
about revealed religion, or carried an.
glewOrms in his vest pocket, or did
something else that he shouldn't have
done, so that there was no health in
him, and he was properly punished in
the end? | don't think you'd care tc
hear it. know the little boy didn't
When the clock struck half-past eight
he went up to his little room over the
hallway, and went to bed. lie was
tired and low n his mind. He gener-
ally went to sleep as soon as he got
his head on the pillow, and dreamed
of anything he wanted to dream about
But this night he lay awake a long
time, and thought great deal. He
had one stamp less in his collection
and he had no pirates to dream about
and he wondered why his uncle had
told him such depressing story. As
l say, | don't know whether it was
about religious doubt or the improper
bestowal of angleworms, but it Ger.
tainly was not about this particular
little boys particular favorite sin, and
he didn't see, as he said to himself, why
it was "heaved at him" And when
he awoke the next morning he was
still thinking of it and wondering
about it, and he still felt tired.-H. c.
Bunner, in Century.