davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03
sHREDs AND PATCHES.


Only in politics can the human target bs
considered safe.-Chicago Post.
The most helpless creature in the world
is a man with a sore thumh.-Puck.
A friend in need is a friend who generally
strikes you for a quarter.-Tammany Times.
1t seems quite natural that the new wom-
an should be very fresh.-Ph Philadelphia Rec
Populism seems to be the same old eco
nomic freak with whiskers.-Detroit Trfb-
une.
Envy no man his great memory; he must
remember much that he would rather for
get--Judge.
1t is very economical to fall in love with
a girl who thinks theaters are wicked.
--Atchison Globe.
What the world admires is genius that
can make its own hair stand on end.-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
Cleveland has completely cured the coun-
try of all desire to lengthen the presidential
term.-Kansas City Journal.
There is, they tell us. a germ OF good in
everything. But how about the walking
disqualification Transcript.
What terrible lot of new lies are in
vented every time George Washington has
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Post.
Jikniks-The more a man has the more he
wants. Bskit-Did you ever have twins at
your house?-Detroit Free Press.
About the only pleasing thing about the
present United States Senate is that it's
lease will expire this week.-Detroit Free
Press.
( In fighting among themselves the Popu-
lists are gradually arising to the dignity Of
the Democratic party.-Philadelphia North
American.
1t will not be necessary to send out tho
notice Of mo flowers in connection with
the funeral of this Congress.-New York
Evening Sun.
A Leavenworth man swallowed some Mex
lean jumping beans for quinine capsules and
he said he felt like hailstorm inside.
Omaha Bee.
The principal difficulty with Harry Hay
wards alibi is that such a large quantity
of It is furnished by Harry Hayward.
-lWashtngton Post.
A man who appeared in Topeka the other
day with his whiskers tucked In his vest
pocket is the latest senatorial suspect.
kansas City STAR
A Vienna girl has applied for the Job
of chief executioner. OF course she offers
the same old plea for the elevating infu-
ence of woman In the MISUNDERSTANDING
Dispatch.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03

The New York Advertiser remarks
that Indiana has streaks of loyalty and
disloyalty. OF the latter, it cites an APP
preparation of $4,000 for State Sol
diers' Home when $4,000 was asked.
the refusal to pass bill devoting a.
portion of the tuition money of the
schools to put flags upon the school
houses and So, 900 for memorial at Get
tysburg. The advocates of the Soldiers
Home may be said to be satisfied with
SIS. 900, which means. with the land do
mated. more than 100000 in New York.
The Legislature did not appropriate ST.
900 for Gettysburg this year because it
is proposed to appropriate $4,000 for
monuments at Chickamauga, where In
diana had thirty-seven regiments and
batteries. 1t did not vote TO place a
flag upon every schoolhouse. because,
in proportion to its population and
schoolhouses. more flags purchased by
the residents OF the districts are over
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03
THE REAL INFIDELS.

The intolerant but well-meaning min-
listers who have recently attempted to
prevent Ingersoll from delivering his old
lecture assailing current religious beliefs
have done more to cause suspicion re-
garding the claims of the Christian re-
ligion than would be caused by many
repetitions of the denounced infideIs
lecture Colonel Ingersoll has been de-
livering that lecture, in effect, for more
than twenty years. His different lee
lures have been published in pamphlet
form and sold by tens of thousands.
Years ago they were placed by dealers
where they would attract attention and
secure purchasers. In recent years.
however. few are seen on periodical
stands. They have had their day. The
same may be said of the lecture, for if
such silly men as those preachers must
be who attempted to prevent its delivery
had not done so 1T would have attracted
no attention and would not have been
reported. b. their senseless action the
attention of tens of thousands has been
called to the lecture. and the views OF
Colonel Ingersoll have appeared in many
newspapers.
The publications Of Colonel Ingersoll
are of no Importance compared with the
imputation which the conduct Of these
zealots has cast upon the stability of
the Christian religion They have by
their action confessed to the public that
Christianity cannot stand the assaults
of infidels; that if they do not adopt re-
pressive measures to silence it's foes it
is in imminent danger of being crushed
out In all the world no such mischiev-
Gus infidelity can be found as that con-
fessed by the action pursued by the
three or four unheard-of clergymen who
attempted. a week ago, to prevent the
delivery of Ingersoll's lecture. They
have assumed a very great responsible
ity in putting the Christian religion in
the attitude they have.
The truth is that Christianity, in all
it's benefcent phases. was never so po-
tential as it is to-day. 1t is a growing
power in the world, and particularly in
this country. The census of 1890 shows
that in that year there were 1917
church organizations, having 142,521
church edifices and 1884 halls and
schoolhouses, with an aggregate seating
capacity of 1864, 1868 and 20.612,S06 actual
communicates. about one-third of the
entire population, or. accurately speak
ing, 1885 per cent. of it. The value of
the property held by these church or
CARNATIONS was 679,63o,139 Compared
with such statistics as are presented by
the census of 1850, the growth of religion
shows a larger percentage than the
growth in population New forces have
been organized since that period, like
the Christian Endeavor, and not the
least potential of the new forces which
have appeared under the banner of
Christianity is the Salvation Army.
The Journal begs these little fearful
souls, fresh courage take" from these
facts, and let Ingersoll go his way, in
the faith that surely the wrath and
the folly Of man shall praise Cod"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03

There Is reason to believe that the de-
cision of the presidents of the Indiana
colleges not to permit intercollege
football or other games of that charac-
ter will meet with the approval of those
whose opinions are of most value to the
institutions. 1t cannot be otherwise
than that the attention which such
games have attracted must interfere
with that concentration of thought and
purpose which are essential to sound
scholarship. Moreover. in late years the
annual expenses of students have large
ly increased. due partly to the support
of teams and clubs. and the going about
the State. and even into other States,
20 witness contests. So far as physical
training is concerned. il can be much
better secured as a part of the regular
college course. Probably many of the
students will protest. but the most of
them will see that the main object of
higher education is not to have a foot
ball team and to attend games and
shout for their favcrites.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03
LITERARY NOTES.

Jules Verne is now seventy Eight years
old. He thinks Charles Dickens the greatest
of all British novelists.
Tolstoi has just finished a new work.
which he calls Priceless Wealth and all
the Trouble Attached to It.
M. Barthelemy st. Hilaire, who will be
ninety next August. has just completed his
biography of Victor Cousin.
1t is understood that Colonel Sheridan,
brother of Gen. Philip H. Sheridan. Is to
write biography of the General.
Mr.. Richard G. Moulton's new books
Will be on -Four Years of Novel Reading
and 1.-THE Literary Study of the Bible"
Stanley ]. Weyman has given up work
for year, and will travel In Europe gath
ering material for fresh ventures In fic-
ton.
Walter Besant won't write a line under
the settled rate of 10 guineas ($525O) per
Thousand words, and none of the publishers
have struck against it
Francois Cope, the French novelist ana
poet, will soon come to this country to de-
liver a series of lectures on French litera-
ture, and to read from some of his own
works.
Mrs. Oliphant, with a record of seventy
eight novels to her credit, never touches
a pen in the daytime. She thinks the still
ness of the night Is necessary for good
writing.
Mr. Henry nj. Stanley's book will appear
at Easter. It's title will be my Early Adj
ventures and Travels" 1t is said that the
book is designed to have both a historic
and an autobographic interest.
Mr.. Du Maurier is writing another novel.
and who would blame him. "Trilby'' hav-
ing now approached its 2OOo00th he must
feel encouraged to go on. 'Trilby'' has not
yet caught up with "Ben-Hur" however,
for the latter book is in it's 600, 0O0th.
An English writer says that the Swedes
are, OF all European nations, the greatest
lovers of humorous writings, and that the
most popular British author in Sweden is
Mr.. Jerome K Jerome. The second clause
of this statement, a critic thinks would
seem to contradict the first
Henry NJ. Alden. of Harper's, said re-
Gently that although he was on the watch
lac saw no new genius coming above the
story-teller's horizon. On the other hand
Richard Watson Glider believes there is
Just much promising genius in this
country there has ever been, and per-
haps more.
Conan Doyle thinks he has worthy sue
cessor to Sherlock Holmes in the new
character which is the central figure of his
new adventures of Brigader Gerard
a series which is about 10 commence in
the Strand Magazine, the same periodical in
which Sherlock Holmes made his first
bow TO the public.
Mrs Annie Steel, who has attracted at
tention by her folk-tales of India is a
Scotch woman. Her husband is a retired
Indian civilian. and more than twenty years
OF her married life were spent In India
She has acquired five of the native Indian
dialects. and can thus pursue studies in
who know only the written languages could
not accomplish. She is described as "a
a-<sht. cheerful. ruddy-complexioned little
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03

The Atlanta Constitution processes to
be greatly shocked because number
of prominent women in Washington have
expressed grief at the death of Fred
Douglass. or. as the Southern paper
puts it. have gone into mourning for
him and slobbered over his remains"
The Constitution sees in this an APP
prevail on the part of these women of
miscegenation, Douglass having mar
ried a white woman. But was his mar
riage really a case of miscegenation?
Douglass, according to all accounts. be-
longed as much to the white as to the
black race. his father having been
Southern gentleman of the kind SO well
known and so highly esteemed before
the war. who had no personal scruples
against the mixing Of races. Perhaps
it was a mere matter Of heredity that
led Douglass to choose a white wife.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03
A rYRANNICAL MOTION.
He Did Not Like to He Forced to Gave
Up His Paper.
Detroit Free Press.

\
The Kentucky Legislature is in some re-
spects peculiar body, and some of its
members, as individuals. are even more
peculiar. 1t is the custom to give each
member the choice of two daily news
papers during the session at the expense OF
the state, and they avail themselves of It,
One old fellow from mountain county a
new member, when he chose took as his
choice the Louisville Courier-Jo urnal which
was the gospel to him. He was thoroughly
verdant and IMMERSED I'm parliamentary
usages, and the first morning after he had
chosen his paper and lay 1t on the desk be-
fore him he heard some member move to
dispense with the reading of the journal.
which was part of the regular routine OF
the body. He said nothing but laid aside
his paper. The next day II was the same
and so on for two weeks and then for
bearance ceased to be virtue and the
member rose to his feet.
MIR. Speaker" he said in thunder tones
for he was hot. Il rise to a pint OF order
Fer two weeks err sich matter have sat
enin to what is goin' on around me and
larnin' the ways Every mornin' Mr.
Speaker, about the time I git to readin'
NV my copy Nv the cooyah Journal up
jumps some Republican and moves to dis
pense with the readin' NV the Journal In
all this time, Mr. Speaker, hain't never
heered a single member movfn' to dispense
with the readin. NV the Louisville CONNER
cial. and I'm gettin' tired NV sich tyran-
meal oppression. Mr.. Speaker, and move
to lay the matter on the table SOS we kin
go on. with our readin' Nv the Journal In
peace"
The members motion did not carry. but
the matter was explained to his satisfso-
ton.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03

If the natives of the country are to
hold the credit they claim they must
protest against having statistics regard
ing thrift made along the lines of ma
tivity and race. 1t is a fact of the in
exorable census that native Americans
own the smallest percentage of the
farms they occupy. On the other hand.
the Irish. who are generally adjudged
as thriftless people, stand at the head
of the list as owning the farms they oc-
cupy eighty-seven of every hundred oc-
cupants being owners. In the cities the
natives make a better showing. The
percentage Of home owners in cities to
the whole number of occupants is 39.41,
while the percentage of natives who
are owners of their homes is 1852.
The French in the cities of $4,000 popu-
lation and over head the list as home
owners. with 71.64 per cent. of the whole
number; the Irish and the Germans are
close behind. but they are much more
numerous than the French in the total
population.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03

People who remembered the Lucy w.
Hayes Temperance Society,"" about
which so much was said few years
ago. had their doubts IS to the truth
fuIness of the story that Mrs. Cleveland
had joined the Woua,fs Christian Tenn
perance Union. aae were not surprised
when the story was deried. The Lucy
w. Hayes Society existed only i'm the
imaginations of gifted Washington cor
respondents. who invented 1t in a dull
season and gave animated and circum-
stantial accounts of its proceedings at
leisure intervals during the remainder
of the Hayes administration. 1t was
alluded to with great frequency by tenn
perance speakers throughout the coun-
try. and served to point many a tale.
Although mythical, it may have served
good purpose. and 1t seems rather
pity that the fiction about Mrs. Cleve-
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03
The Mills of the Gods.

The aged mendicant crept tremblingly into
the office of the successful young lawyer.
'Only a few pennies, SIR he said.
The young man gazed at him keenly.
rs not this William Wilwats?' he asked.
The aged mendicant admitted that such
was the case.
Then, listen, William Wilwats, said the
young man, his voice trembling with sup
pressed satisfaction; twenty years ago,
when you were a prosperous merchant, you
met a little barefoot country boy in the
highroad and called him 'bub.' That is
an insult no boy ever forgives. My time for
revenge has come at last. You don't get
cent. Get out,
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03

Ever since chemistry has been a prac-
teal science it has been taught that the
air we breathe is composed of nitrogen
and hydrogen, but now two British scien-
lists have discovered new element, which
is called argon" by the discoveries. While
this discovery may be of great interest to
investigators, one may rest assured that
the air we breathe will be the same, and
that ventilation is still more important
than the discovery of argon as an equiva-
lent of vital air.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03

The Journal has criticised actor Richard
Mansfield on account of his egotism, but
he showed at st. Louis a few nights ago
that he can make neat speech. The play
in which he appeared closed with a death
scene, and the audience encored. Mans
field failed to respond. and the audience
became boisterous. Finally he walked be-
fore the curtain and in voice that showed
anger said:
If you insist on raising the dead you
must not grumble at the remarks of the
corpse. The size of this audience, which
is not up to that of a one-night Texas
stand, argues that / am not appreciated
in ST. Louis. / am not a hypocrite, and
will say bluntly that / return the want Of
appreciation with interest
Then he lost no time in getting behind
the curtain.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03

Logansport paper tells of a man living
near that place who has received ten bap-
tismal dimensions. He first united with the
German Baptist or Dunkard denomination,
and, according to their rites, received three
submersions face downward. Later he be-
came member of the new Dunkards, and,
in accordance with their custom, was bap-
tized once with the head backward. Similar
experiences attended his subsequent connec-
ton with the Baptist and Newlight church,
es, while in the Methodist Episcopal water
was sprinkled upon his head. A few days
ago he concluded. to return to his first love,
the Dunkards, and was received back into
the fold with the regulation three clippings,
face downward. He ought to be able to ex-
pound the merits of the different modes of
baptism from personal experience.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03

- While the women are gallivanting off
in Washington advocating in special
congress of their own all sorts Of re-
form movements. including equal suf-
frage, what becomes of the suffrage
question in places where something
might really be accomplished in it's be-
half? Have any of the champions of
the cause. for instance. even so much as
asked the Indiana Legislature to grant
them any privileges in this line?
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03

.Fhree-sevenths of the business failures
OF 1894 in the United States resulted
either from insufficient capital of those
going into business or from incompe-
tency when once embarked. Such facts
should afford a lesson.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03

The Mexican mission has one advan-
tage peculiar to itself. The salary, $17.-
800 a year. is the same as that Of the
first-class European missions, and be-
sides being a much cheaper place to
live than any European capital, the
fact that Mexico Is on silver basis is
largely in the minister's favor, his sal
airy being paid in gold and all his liv-
ing expenses in Mexico in silver. The
difference between American gold and
Mexican silver adds several thousand
dollars a year to the minister's salary.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03

OF the many good measures which
will become laws by the action of the
majority of this Legislature, none can
be more important and far-reaching in
Its benefits than the bill presented by
Senator Shively regarding the benevo-
lent institutions as the decision of the
Republican caucus.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03

That is not an encouraging declara-
ton of the superintendent of the schools
Of Indianapolis to the effect that he has
been lobbying in the Senate to defeat a
bin which places the appointment of the
employees in the public library on the
merit system and abolishing the abuses
of nepotism practiced by some Of the
School Board
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03

Messrs. Warren and Clarke, the new
Senators from Wyoming. are figuring in
the papers as the handsomest men in Con-
gress, and Clark comes with home record
of being the Apollo of Wyoming. Unless
the papers can do better by these unfortu-
mates in the matter of portraits than they
have yet done the only possible conclu-
sion the public can draw is that the con-
gressional standard of manly beauty is
VERY low
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03

schoolhouses than IN any other State.
AS early as in any State flags were
placed over schoolhouses in Indiana.
and in no State is patriotism more gen
orally or better taught than in the pub
lie schools of Indiana
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03

The Hon. George w. Prince. who was
nominated by the Republicans of the Tenth
Illinois district on the 1,476th ballot, to sue
coed General Post, deceased, started in life
a poor boy, and paid his way through coli
lege by teaching and serving as janitor of
the college building. He has served several
years in the Illinois Legislature. and is one
of the rising men of the State.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03
New York Commercial Advertiser.

4NtW IUfh <tuftItIStT.
There is no longer any question as to
the practical value of the work or the Sal
clergymen are forced to admit not only the
sincerity of the leader and OF many OF the
officers and workers. but also the usefulness
of their labors. That the Salvation Army
has come to stay seems to be beyond ques-
ton. and however distasteful to cultivated
minds their noisy methods may be, II is
reasonable to ex pnd aid TO most OF their
enterprises
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03
PAGES

New York is still ahead of Chicago.
In the latter city buildings do not tum-
BILE down till after they are completed,
while in the former they collapse while
in the course of construction
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03

voluminous official correspondence be-
tween the Governors of Missouri and I'LL
nois is published, in which every letter is
addressed to His Excellency.' etc The til
tie is unauthorized. and the too common
custom of using 1t is more honored in the
breach than the observance
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03
The Cause of the Trouble.

whats the matter here% asked the
policeman, getting between the two dark
skinned disputants.
HE called me Niger explained the
blacker one. AN l don't low nobody to
call me niger wen / done hit policy an
got my bes' clio es on
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03

The National Butter and Cheese Makers
Association. which has just closed its an
nual convention at Rockford. ILL.,, elected
Tor its president named Segar. They
would probably draw the line on cigar
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03

If that Indiana man who goes without
sleep six months at a time without any dis
comfort and then begins period of sound
and restfui slumber will undertake to In
struct others how to do the same thing hA
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03
Busfness Chancc.

WANTED, Partner-Man with left leg off
wanted by man with right leg gone as a
partner in the business Of soliciting contri-
buttons of old shoes. Address Peg Trotter,
Mud AIlav
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03

The San Francisco Argonaut shows that
for every 500 of gold produced in Colo
RADIO in 1892 1854 was produced in 1898 and
1858 in 1894, which shows that there is
gold In the land
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03

land, with all its details of the kiss Of
initiation by Miss Willard. the donning
of the white ribbon. ETC., should be dis
covered so soon
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03
BUBBLES IN THE AIR.
Raining in London.

He became a social favorite in
The little Western town.
Until he turned his trousers up
And then they turned him down.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-03-03

can make great fortune. The knowledge
of how to do without sleep would be only
less valuable than panacea for insomnia.