The Van Buren press., 1895-04-06
HE WAS POLITE.
Gus Hawkins Met Ghost That Was very
AffectiOnat0.

Anectionate.
Gus Hawkins was a reformer.
Gus wanted to reform our methods Of
treating ghosts. te
"Why, 1 don't see," I said to him one
day. don't see but We treat ghosta
properly enough" ot
"P'raps you'd like TO be treated like
. ghost yourself? When man gets in
sight OF We hev him take to his laigs
en- run, hey? When woman sees ye
hev her scream an faint away jest 81
II she had seen mouse? Ev'ry human
bein 'skeddadlin' the minute he comel
In sight Of ye, an If he's to scat to
skeddadle plumpin' down on his knees
and face an prayin' the Lord to deliver
him? How'd ye like it?"
swell, Gus, it would be rather hard
II wish could see ghost once, an
I'd show him that there Is little
politeness left in human natur', after
all Nobody's ever been, killed by 9
ghost; nobody's ever been cheated by
ghost; nobody's ever been insulted
by q ghost, an every ghost I eve,
heerd of has behaved like perfect
gentleman. I'd like to meet one. I'd
show him that l could be as much Of Z
gentleman as he"
Well. last May Gus did meet one
after all. While he was passing
through the Spruce Hollow graveyard
he saw ghost sitting with his legs
crossed on Squire Perkins tombstone.
"Hullor' said Gus.
"Hullo" said the Ghost. l.H
"Kinder damp an cold out here,
amt it?" said Gus. ''Come down tc
my house over the hill an get some
supper an hot cup er tea, an then
we'll have little talk together"
"Well, If you'd jest ez soon, we'll GO
into this tomb here" said the Ghost
II shall be kinder bashful in house,
hain't been into one for 90 long. I'm
more used to tombs."
"All right go aheadW said Gus, and
they entered the tomb.
Lets sit down on this coffin to
gether," said the Ghost, fan have q
nice little talk" TEsec
"Jest what would suit me-" said
Gus ,...
''Sit up little closer, I" said the Ghost
''I'm cold"
"Glad to 'commodate ye," said Gus
Is he nudged up as close as he could
get. NQsanTi 5a E4pas
LET me put my arms round ye an
see If / can't git thoroughly warmed
up for once," said the Ghost, throwing
his arms around Gus as he spoke.
"Do you know" said the Ghost
"you're the only fellow that has ever
understood me since I've been dead.
like you. You're a trump. But you'll
excuse me jest q minute. Do you
know feel that there is something
the matter with my body in the fiftt
grave down there. You excuse me Z
minute while l go and see. Sit right
where you are and I'll be back in &
jiffy an We'll have . nice talk togeth
er."
Gus sat still and the Ghost vanished
He sat for Ave minutes; still the
Ghost did not return. s.i ,esi;i
At the end of ten minutes he got ur
and walked out in search of the Ghost
He looked at the fifth grave but il
was undisturbed and the grass wal
growing above it luxuriantly.
"Well, can't wait here all night,
said Gus. "Let's see, what time is it?'
But Gus had no means OF telling
what time it was-his watch was gone
He discovered that by feeling in hi
ieft-hand vest pocket. Also a roll o
bills was gone. He discovered this b,
feeling in his right-hsnd vest pocket.
"Well, l thought thet ghost was aw
full affectionit when he put his arm
roun' me-" said Gus. "Hullol whut'l
this?'' 7. Giasi -af s4flY ~ I
Just here Gus stopped down and lift
ed up . sheet. IDS. - ss ss,. X,
Guess the ghost has been undressin
hisself," said Gus.
When Bill Stives was carried to jai
two months later for stealing horse
Gus's watch was found ON his person
IN. Y. World. sJ0 ano tsHi "a