Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1895-11-08
Che Storu Veller.
MIR. RASPBERRY'S RUSE.
BY MARY KYLE DALLAS.

Mr.. Raspberry used often to say
this to his valet, and the valet always
answered
"La, sir; you couldn't do it, sir, you
know; because after folks is expired
why, they air removed from this wals
of tears, sir. 1 think-begging par
don, sir-that it would be an unhappi
ness"
"No, no, Perkins," said Mr.. Rasp
berry; "no, no, you don't understand
these finer feelings"
This was before Mr.. Raspberry:
wedding, and for year after this GER
emony Perkins had heard nothing o
the formerly often expressed wish.
But one winter morning, as Mr.
Raspberry read the account ofa dread
ful railroad accident, he said again, a:
though he had never left off:
"How delightful it would be to see
ones friends mourn for one !"
This time Perkins answered:
"But the missus would take on so. y
"The very thing" said Mr.. r
"Perkins, can you keep secret ?"
"Inwaluate," said Perkins who was
prone to the use of words. but vaguely
understood od-"inwaluate."
"Then, Perkins," said Mr.. Raspberry
IL am going to meet with railway
accident"
"Gracious !" said Perkins.
Sits all arranged" said Mr.. Rasp,
berry,"
"nl2ear me, sir, 1 hope not, sir" said
Perkins.
"I'm to be put at the head of the list
ofkilled," said Raspberry. IA reporter
| I know has promised to do it. On an
average there's an accident once a
week-the next one I'm to be in."
"Beg pardon, sir-won't it be susin'
eide ?" asked Perkins.
81 don't mean to be killed." said
Raspberry "only reported So"
ala !" said Perkins, "but poor young
missus
"The very thing" said Raspberry.
II am much older than she is-2C
years." He was IS. "And l should
like to see how she would morn fol-
me after l was gone, if it should be
my fate to 90 first. l shall bid her
adieu as though going upon a journey
and then hide myself in these.rooms
of mine. When the accident occurs
and she sees the paper, I'll take care
to be at hand. My nephew, Julius,
will grieve, too. I've been indulgent
to him, and she will break her little
heart"
ayes, sir; but, sir, won't she be an
CRY when she finds out it's hoax %
asked Perkins.
"She shall never find it out" said
Raspberry, "never. III tell her it
was false report. That l was on the
train, but escaped"
"Yes, sir" said Perkins, doubtfully
and brushed his masters hair in a
thoughtful manner.
Remonstrance was in his eye, but
his master cared nothing for that. He
had determined on his course of con-
duct.
That very day he went through a
little drama of his own concoction,
received letter, declared that urgent
business required his presence in an
other city, packed valise, wrapped
himself up in shawl, bade adieu to
his wife, and jumped into a cab at the
door.
At midnight he was secretly assist
ed to re-enter the house by buck win
dow, and repaired to his dressing
room secretly provisioned as for siege
with potted meats, canned fruit and
other delicacies by the active Perkins.
There he remained for at least d
week before Perkins, glancing over the
morning paper, saw list of the killed
and wounded in great black letters on
the front page, with Mr.. Royal Rasp-
berry's name at the head thereof.
Then Perkins's heart quailed.
"It's too bad for missus," he said.
"If she is sorry, it may half kill her
If she isn't, she'll pay for it. I'll tell
her, and if I 90 for it hope I'll find a
master with more hair to fix and less
anxious to have it done various and
becoming"
Then Perkins took the paper and
walked into his lady's sitting room.
"Please'm," he said, I've some
thing to tell you-don't be alarmed
it's about master"
"Oh, Perkins - cried the lady.
"Oh, Perkins you've got the newspa,
per? What is it? Oh! oh oh !"
at amt nothin' of that natur', "
SAID Perkins. "NIaster is alive and
we'll, and upstairs, eating potted shad
and crackers"
"When did he Gomez" asked the
wife, "and what do you mean by shut
ting the door ?"
"Perkins," cried Mr.. Raspberry's
nephew, julius, "if you have anything
to tell, out with it don't stand there
alarming US. My dear uncle is not
| ill?"
He will be if he eats much more
shad," said Perkins. "But he's well
at present, but he's too morantic. He's
attemptin' to harrer up your feelings.
In pint of fact, in order to see you
mourn for him, he's hiding upstairs,
while he's reported squashed in this
here railroad accident. It's q dretful