davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning times., 1895-09-08
il pidn,t Prove Suitable.

''We can let you have the brt4al cham
Der, " ventUred the genial hotel clerk, as he
rubbed his hands aud looked confidentially
across the register at the youthful couple.
That is very kind OF you," replied the
young man, as he drew q nervous flourish
beneath the abbreviation land wife" and
laid down the pen. but we contemplate
remaining ten days or SO, and you might
need the room"
You shan lot be disturbed, assure
you" continued the clerk, "and the apart
B'ent is a lovely one"
'.Airy?' asked the young man.
LAS TO that" and q CLEAN Of intense
pride surmounted the clerks face, Il VIII
say that the room contains seven windows,
all opening upon the verandas."
The young couple looked at each other,
Then the young woman spoke:
Il don't think we shall care for that room,
You see, our three children VIII be here
with their nurse in the morning. They can
ell climb like goats, and I'm sure they
would be Falling off those yerandas inside
OF fifteen minutes"
Front" murnured the clerk in voice
that betrayed deep emotion, show this
gentleman and his lady up to the sky floor,
and have the maid put the NURSERY in order
Truth.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
SHE WAS HIS.
BY Confession He Was Not So Bad "a
She Dreaded.
New York World.

SHe OTedueQs
New York World.
She knew he was going to propose There
was a strained look about his four-in-
hand tie that clearly betrayed IT, 4
"Antigone," be commenced, II ask you
to become my wife" :
She glanced at the third finger Of her
left hand, then clasped both hands to-
gether and lowered her eyeIds to an
angle OF forty-five degrees.
But" he continued, II feel that
ought not 10 deceive you
The angle was raised 70 sixty, but she
answered not :
II am not what seem to you; you
are completely mistaken in me The man
you have pictured me to be and / have
nothing in common" 4
Go on" she said, coldIy, her eyes
now open to their fullest extent.
However" he went on, desperately, II
am going To lay my inner self bare to yoUr
come what ma u"
We'll" she said, in one dull, heavy
nlonosyllable. He shivered. II had the
tone of a funeral knelL
Il am not model man." be resumed, +,
with an effort. Il am not even orC@
narily well behaved I smoke, drink, and
bet-often. / read French novels and 90 TO
burlesques. ROOF gardens attract me, and
prefer fa=rs-conedy 10 Shakespeare. 3
have even flirted with living pictures; nay.
I have :.
Good graciousl How you frightened
me-" she interrupted, with sigh OF res
lief. II was afraid you were going to say
that you did not care ror any or those
things"
Then bUrying her face in his four-ins
hand, she whispered:
You cannot shake me, darling, I am
yours"
The morning times., 1895-09-08

THE new woman" said the conserva-
tive boarder, lis mostly talk"
Then / am to understand" said the
Cheerful Idiot, that she does not differ
materially from the old style of woman,
eh?"
The bachelor boarder admitted the truth
of the contention, but the married boarder
said nothing indianapolis Journal
We wish we were a girl and had moth
ing worse to worry us than the debt Of
quarter we owe our mother.-Atchison
Globe. .
Mrs. Vaneering the wagon with
the piano we bought to-day. You can just
send IL back.
Mr.. Yaneering-Why?
Mrs. Yaneering-Do you suppose that we
are going to buy an $500 piano and have it
brought home at night when the neighbors
can't see it? Never!-The Pathfinder.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Two Summer Girls.
Cynthia comes equipped to the fight
With ten trunks in line and an English

Cynthia comes equipped to the fight
With ten trunks in line and an English
maid;
Her gowns are dreams of pure delight,
And her gloves just match them-soft
shade for shade.
All things are fit and quite >au fait,
Save her poor little heart, that beats too
fast.
Will victory this time crown the day
And perch on her maiden flag at last?
Phyllis comes as looker-on
To this matrimonial field of strife;
In a sailor hat and gown of lawn,
And beautiful, fresh. abundant life;
And men kneel down to her russell shoe
And fly TO answer her slightest call;
But she does not care what they say or do
She is having lovely time-that's IN
Back to the town in sore defeat,
Doth. lucklcss Cynthia make retreat,
'Tis Phyllis, the wild, unwilling thing,
Idle and tickle, who wears the ring.
-PHSk
The morning times., 1895-09-08
That Would Do IT.

Old Totterly-And you say Your love for
me is sort Of intoxication?
Tottie Twinkletoes (absent-mindedly)-
Yep.
Old Totterly (delightedly)-And there is
no cure for this intoxication?
Tottie Twinkletoes (waking up)-Well,
you might try the gold cure.-New York
World.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
The Perils of the Benedict.

Dills-Have a drink?
Stills-NeveT! I've sworn off.
Diils-Since when?
StiliS-A week ago Wednesday. My wife
presented me with son and heir, and l
went oat 10 receive congratulations at the
club. When l got back I'm dashed If
didn't see triplets! / tell you, a shock like
that
Dills-Ah, yes; poor fellow! Thank heav-
en- I'm a bachelor New York World.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Might Cool Him of.

Arriving Missionary gather from your
cordial manner that ! shall meet with
warm reception from yslr king.
Fill ISlanders-Not necessarily At this
heated season Of the year he is rather fond
OF cold roas6 with a selad.-New York
World.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Quite So.

Askins-My stars, old fellowi Weren't
yon terribly frightened when you revived
from your trance and found yourself in the
Coffin and the clergyman utterlng the last
Solemn words over you?
Teuer-oh, no: you see, it was really none
Of nay funeTaL-New York World.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
A Pamiating Circumstances.

'Bumply seems wonderfully well salts
fled with himself"
Yes, there's nothing you can mention
He has no children old enough TO ask
that he doesn't think he knows all about"
well, 1 suppose you can't blame him.
questions and take the conceit out Of him. "
Philadelphia Item.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
SOCIOLOGICAL.

watts-I'H bet that If women are allowed
the ballot we viii have socialism in less than
ten years.
Potts-That is all you know about #.
With socialism there would be no business
competition. and with no business compett-
tion there would be no bargain sales. So
that settles your notion right from th6
start.-Exchange.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Intended 10 Wear the

Mrs. Findesecle-Have you commenced
TO buy any OF your trousseau yet for your
marriage next month?
Miss Emancipus-Yes, indeed. Yesterday
I got six new pairs OF bloomers, dozen
shirts and some embroidered suspenders. -
New York World.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
A Surgical Operation.

0'The Rev. Mr.. Gayboy is looking very
badly since the amputation." :
''What anptuRtion? What do you mean?2
t'Nhy, haven't you heard? The bishop Of
the diocese recently cut OFF the young clergy
pans sacercotal functions. New York
World.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
He Had No Objection.

The occasional contributor seated himself
comfortably and replied to the busy editors
civil nod with a pleasant ''how dye do?"
Would you have any objection he saidr
'if should drop iDtopoetryo yoccasionally?''
Not in the least the busy man replied,
provided you don't bring me any ofit."-
Chicago Times Herald.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Rnt Did Nnt. Sncceed

Lord Tuffnutt-I wonder why go many
OF you Americans try to be English.
Miss Manhattan-You ought not TO OBJ
ject. You tried hard enough TO make us
English in 17T6.-New York World.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Placing Him,

She turned upon him imperiously. -
"Whas have you to say for YOURSELF"
The dude covered before her abashed,
and then passed through the door without
a word.
She shook her head sadly.
"Once more is the old saying verified,
1T goes without sayingP
She gently locked the door behind him.
pause" he began
You misjudge me- she interrupted,
II am not a girl of the period"
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Retaliation.

Inkleigh-Did you read that last story
OF mine?
Pushpen-I did.
Inkleigh-Well, I'm going to write an
article on how l came TO write it.
Pushpen (savagely)-By Georgel If you
do IN write an article on how l came to
read it-New York World.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
A Worse Calamity.

Mrs Boardwalk-What do you want a
new bathing suit for? Has the old one
shrunk?
Ethel Boardwalk-Goodne no, NAM
ma; how stupid you arel 1t has stretched.
New York World.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Her Power.

''How beautiful Miss vanwyte
Sings those old songs she said.
know
The tears were in my eyes tonight,
For, oh! her pathos moves one So
"a moving power it appears"
He answered, with sarcastic candot.
Her singing moved you, dear, TO tearsj
1t moved me-out to the verandar'
Brooklyn Life
The morning times., 1895-09-08

"Yes, sir, Sect observed the stenog-
rapher, this is the denial of your last in
terview-r
Great politician: What kind OF a head
have you got? This is a denial of the de-
nial!' Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Rrfbed by the Nelghbor

"Now, professor, tell me how to preserve
my piano"
Put will you do eet?"
"oh, dear, yes; If you'll teIl me how"
"Zen / should say don'dt blay on ett-
you-vit your handts. Chicago Record
The morning times., 1895-09-08
NJ Excuse for Waste.

81 understand that your father has dis
covered a very rich oil well on his land
said George.
YES Ethel answered, pettishly.
"But we ought not to be extravagant on.
that account
And ne must have agreed with her, for
he turned the lamp down.-New York
World.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Too Iate.

Visitor Ito widow)-I am SO sorry to
hear of the sudden death of your husband.
Did they hold a post mcrtem examination?
Yes, and like all those doctors, they
did not hold it until he was dead, or they
might have saved his life. Boston Tray
eller
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Hardly.

Choll V humpleigh- h-Extraordinary
thingl Champagne never seems to give me
a head.
Miss Coldeal-Did you think that cham
pagne was stronger than God?-New
York World.
The morning times., 1895-09-08

A Composite Sweetheart.
Is il you love, dear?
can scarcely tell.
When you smile, your eyes, dear,
Make me think of Nell
When you're sad, your mouth, dea1r
Makes me think of Sue;
But, dear, when / kiss you
am sure it's you.
Truth
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Very Likely.

How thet dog do bark!' said Aunty
Humsted, who had run down from Reu-
benville to pay visit 10 her Fifth ave-
nue. cousins. Lands sakesi / guess
there must be somebody going by
Puck
The morning times., 1895-09-08
His Inst Recollection.

the grocer.
II most forgot what mamma sent me
for replied the perplexed little boy on
the outside of the counter; but 1 think it's
a can of condemned milk. Chicago
Tribune.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
The Kiss.

'Sirl' said she to be, Indignantly, ''jusr
you put that right back where you gos
itl'
Indeed" remarked the bacillus to
himself, this is a surprise. I had no idea
she would miss me."-IndianapSli Jour
nal
The morning times., 1895-09-08
She ConIdn,t Keep II.

Il wouldn't like To tell an important
secret TO mat woman said Gummey to
GargoyIe, indicating d lady with a very
low-necked dress.
''Why not2"
See how she unbosoms herself New
York World.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
A Setback at Seaside Park.

Willis-So you proposed to Miss de
Bullion last night, eh?
Reggy-Yes. l am going to have her
father arrested for arson to-day.
Wills-Arson? What did he fire?
Reggy-Me.-Ncw York World.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
So Soon2

AT the steamer wharf:
Il can see Jones yet"
what is he doing?"
standing by the starboard rail throwing
up his hat" -
Goodness me!'-Chicago News.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Accented.

She (coldly)-I hardly know how to re-
ceive your proposal. You know 1 am worth
a million, of course.
He (diplomatically)-Yes, worth a mill
ion other girls.
She (rapturouslyl-oh, Jackl-Truth.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
That Ended 1t.

Tippie-I see that Maud and Ned have
broken off their engagement.
Sibyl-How perfectly dreadful How did
il happen?
Tippie-They got married.-New York
World.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Bud Sign.

''Alasr' the politician cried
His brow was wrapped in giOom-
Defenders lost, for | have tried
That fatal hollow BONN"
Cleveland Plain DealsE-
The morning times., 1895-09-08
An Fsta bIiShpd Fact.

Miss Ineenue-Did the fig tree bloom
in the Garden OF Eden?
Mr.. Meanitall-Of course it did. Did
not Adam aud Eve use the leaves as
bloomers?-New York World.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
He Knew Him.

Dedbroke (who has just unseccessfully
tried to borrow ten)-Next time / borrow
any money from you youT remember it,
sly Dig-I know shall. But you won't.
New York World.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Get There.

The nervous man may not win fame,
Nor altitude sublime;
But, in his frenzy, an the same,
He'll reach The niche Of time.
Cleveland Z lam Dealer.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
She Wns ParticuInr

He-Dont you believe in 'bread-and
cheese and kisses?
She-It depends upon the cheese. 1t
might bar out the kisses.-New York
World.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
A Deadly Disea Sc

she-They say there are microbes in
kissing.
He-Nonsense. What dangerous dis
ease do they develop into?
She-Marriage, sometimcs.-New York
World
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Easy.

Tom Toole-what can you do with four
in-hand?
Jack P Potts-If 1t is four aces I can come
pretty near scooping in the pot.-New York
World.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
No Touch Necessary

much of a musician. He does not seem to
have any touch"
ChesDey-'He doesn't need to. He has
an income."-New York World.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Tnterfered win Fashion.

Dfmelv-You don't see SO many Of those
CircasSian girls in the museum now.
Timely-No They can't get their hair
smoothed down again into TriIby style on
their days off.-New York World.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Proof.

BaX-Aren't pugilists men with very
large heads?
RaN-well, they certainly wear large
hats, Judging from the Lose li.ry n...-e
talking through them.-New York World.
The morning times., 1895-09-08

Whenever you see a woman wearing
suspeDders, you ca safely wager a nickel
her hus band has borrowed her belt
Atlanta Constitution. -
The morning times., 1895-09-08
AllnOnY.

Triggs-what is your plan OF life now
you are divorced?
Briggs-Ins tallment plan.
Triggs-InstalIment plan? How's that?
Briggs-I have to pay so much a week
New York World.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
w hat Sent 1t Up.

Manhattan-They tell me that real estate
out your way wentup very suddenly.
Montana-Yes. Wehad mine explosion
New Y York World.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
just the Thing.

When I proposed she did not blush
And not a word she said
The maiden did not tell me yes
She simply shook her head.
She simply shook her head, and YET
No man in all the town
Gould be more pleased than / was, foI
She shook it up and down.
-Life.I
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Disappointed.

First ColoDel-What is causing that great
concourse of citizens at yonder cornah,
sah?
Second Colonel-Majah Bleeds just shot
q niggah in the back.
'oh is that all? thought it might be
a dog og-fight."-Indianapo Journal.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Danger Past

The report that Mr.. Doe was about TO
Throw up his hands in Hawaii may have
been based on the cholera reports.-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer
The morning times., 1895-09-08
One Kind of Pnuner

"Humph! Funny thing" meditatively
what is that?"
"Why, I've smoked cigars for twenty
years, and / never bought match in my
Iife"-Chicago News.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
The Most Appropriate.

Press AgentLWhat sortof notice are you
going 10 give that new singing soubrette OF
ours?
Criuc-Notice to quit-New York World.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Had weighed His Words.

miss Octave fs beautiful player"
"You mean abe plays beautifully"
''No, that's exactly what don't mean"
Chicago Record
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Ah

Her life is an open book,
But if one looks with care,
He'll find number of pages STUCK
Together here and there
Detroit TribunA
The morning times., 1895-09-08
CURRENT HUMOR.

1t is something OF a shock to find that,
after all, Holmes had nothing to do with
Perry's es escape.-AI bany Argus.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
In Doubt.

BE Ton the hotel piazza These electric
lights are Very unreliable.
She-That's so. A girl never knows
what minute she's going to be kissed.-Life.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Changing the Suit.

The summer girl is great on changing her
suit. She goes seaward with diamonds and
returns home with hearts s.-YoEkers States
man.
The morning times., 1895-09-08

A man who cannot kick a pulpit TO
pieces and bang the cover off the Bible,
is no longer considered great preacher
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Chicago Inter Ocean.
As He Sa w II.

''And these
The traveller marked the dreamy languor
OF the scene, the coral beach, the waving
palms
Are the Society Islands,"
The chattering Of the parrot broke loud
upon the stiffness.
Queer name, but"
He saw for the first time the approach
ing bevy of dusky bellies radiant in their
beauty unadorned-
lit is not at all inappropriat te."
And there amid the tropical splendors OF
the South Sea, his fancy drifted back to
opera nights in the land from whence he
came.-Puck.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Making the Best of 1t.

Mr. Bronston-where is the dessert, my
dear?
Mrs. Bronston-The pastry cook has left
You'll have 10 be satisfied with kisses for
dessert to-day.
Mr.. Bronston-All right Bring on your
French maid.-New York Weekly.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Hie Idea OF an Offense.

Npgik Tster mains amt dere2
rAa6 EeAeheak-1 sh'd say so.
HasFa3 EsTlNt~sMieht t'ink somebody d
ssHfs6A ffs1ery!--C Chicago Record.
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Possibly.

az thought you were going to have q
wheeI?"
$50 / was, but I've decided to wait untiL
next year and get it with pound OF tea.H
The morning times., 1895-09-08

1.-The new woman" said the conserva-
tive boarder. lis mostly talk"
The morning times., 1895-09-08
Wiling to Accommodate.

Wiling to Accom- modate.
Pretty Girl docking in crowded elevator
Can you squeeze me in there?
Polite Young Man (promptlyl-I don't
know. miss But can come out and squeeze
you.-New York World
The morning times., 1895-09-08

what be ye pullin' of the pigs tail fer,
Mandy"
We'll, you see, the dinner horns broke,
and my voice amt strong enough to reach
where the hands are, SO hit on this idea. :"
-Harper's Bazaar. "a
The morning times., 1895-09-08
As to Critics. .

When critics saymy work is bad,
1 don't indulge IN wall or woe,
l simply smile and go my way,
And say the critics do not know.
But when they pat me on the back
And say they think my work immense,
I. take a roster view of life
To think they show such rare good sense.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1895-05-11
KrxAuA PLANTATION. March d. 1895.

KEKAHA PLANTATION, March y, 1925.
Messrs. Honolulu Iron Works Co., DEAR
SINS: We have been working the kra1ewskt
Or sher since the beginning of October 1894,
without DELAY and with the mos sat sfactory
results from the start. our daily work has
increased from 60 clarifers to ~ CHARTERS 900
gallons) with the same number of laborers as
we used before. Since we are using the Crusher
the extraction has increased considerably and
the trash leaves the roller mill drier than
formerly and make excellent fuel. by adding
the Crusher we apprehended that our steam.
ing capacity might be insufficient, but we hnd
that the Crusher and the three roller mill to-
gether consume less power than did the roll
er mill before alone. The extraction OF the
Crusher amounts to 20 per cent. OF the Juice
and the roller mill receives II steady and
| regular feed thereby decreasing the risk of
breaking the roller shafts.
We ean recommend the KreJewski Cane
| Crusher as a valuable addition to "a mill which
will pay for itself in a short time.-We remain
yours truly,
For Kekaha Sugar Co.,
+. w. GLADE,
in our shops and shall be pleased to show
y interested.
IRON WORKS CO.,
for Hawaiian Islands.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1895-05-11

The Four Mile Jaunt Was Won by
Beardmore.


The H. A. A. C's. four-mile
road race started from Waikiki
bridge at sos last evening. The
entries were Beardmore, c. Brew
ster, w. Bolster, B. Petrie and w.
Lyle. Beardmore had the start
from the jump, but was closely fol-
lowed by Brewster out to the King
street road. Bolster and Petrie
fell behind, but picked up on the
home stretch. Lyle had the mis-
fortune to fall sick soon after start
ing and had to stop. He came in
in a buggy.
Quite a large crowd stood near
the opera house to see the runners
come in. Beardmore turned the
bend in the road first. His time
was 22 minutes and 5S seconds,
which was considered very good.
The champion was tagged out
when he crossed the line, but soon
recovered. Brewster was second
at IS minutes IS seconds. Bolster
made it in exactly 27 minutes.
Petrie ran in i'll 27 minutes and 80
seconds. Beardmore takes the
handsome shaving cup.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1895-05-11
PAAuHAU PLANTATION Co,

WN. G.. IRWIN g. co., LTD., HoNOLULU:
GENTLEN .N--Ihe min ha, Uo,u running dur
ing the past two weeks, with the National
Cane Shredder lately installed, giving the
most satisfactory rcsult,
Our mill consists of three sets Of two roll
lers, ~ in. dia. by ~ in. long, the shredder
discs being #. Z in. long, driven hy an
automatic engine II in. tsa cylinder 10y IL
in stroke
Tie Rattonn cane being millcd Is as hard
as it is possible for came 10 be-, having been
subjected to a severe drought during the
whole period of it, growth, and growing ON
land with trade wind exposure. Our ex-
perience with the Shredder particularly with
above cane, proves DO % te Just what our
mills required, the shredded cane being better
prepared to have its Juice extracted than for
merly after passing through the first mil.
The first nil is now allowed TO open $40 III.
instead of x in. as formerly, so that the trash
now leaves the first mill, better ground, than
it formerly did the second, and this without
the old timed groaning, choking, and strain
ing of the machinery.
Behind the first and second mills we apply
hot water the quantity for the past ~ days,
as per statement attached, has averaged 70
per cent. ON the total juice from the cane.
The trash from the last mill is cut up much
finer than before the Shredder was applied,
mt, ,ch of il resembling saw dust, it contains
as per statement 80 per cent. OF moisture and
makes good fuel, the juice from the last mil
stands degrees BriN., 50 that the molsture
in the trash il Of per cent. sugar solution.
The Boilers make steam much easier than
before, now care has 60 be taken TO keep them
from blowing Off whereas before great care
was necessary TO keep the steam from going
too low when the Pan was on.
BY the use of the Shredder we have us
pensed with six men, formerly necessary TO
distribute the cane ON the carrier, feed the
first mill and throw back the long pieces.
The Shredder Machinery is good sub
stantial jop. and should cause little or no
trouble as it is subjected 10 but light strains.
You will see that by applying the Shred
der, our work in all departments has been
very materially mproved-obtainlng
better extraction at less expense than former
| w. The great improvement in our steam,
causes much satisfaction to those engaged in
the Mill
Yours Respectfully,
A. MOORE.