Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1895-12-08
LIKES IT VERY WELL.
The Idler Comments on the Jefferson
and Its Beauties.
A Stranger Who Did Not Like the
Stafue-Man Feels His Insfgnfh-
Modern Dry-Goods Store.

II Is my unvarying custom to drop into
The Jefferson during my leisure moments'
| and TO borrow therefrom the hostelry's
| gllt-edged stationery, upon which l indite
| epistles TO my out-of-town friends. When
| they see the gorgeous letier-neads OF this
| entlcing tavern, they picture me In the
| appetizing lap Of luxury. enclrcled by
| oyster pates and cut-glass champagne
| tankards, and they sigh and envy my lot.
Little DO they know that up to the pres
| ent time I have received but small In
ternai comfort from the menuistic de-
lights OF the ho;eI-that so far l have
only enjoyed the free-lunch feature In
that department where the soul-stirrlng
duids are dispensed. Little do they sus-
pect-(rnay they never become more sus-
picious y-that the Cuisine which fur
nishes material for my ruminatons sends
forth daily only the same old bacon ana
cabbage, and that the cut-glass from
which L am supposed to drink Is really
naught but an ex-ofiicio tomato-can. II
IS always well to put the pest foot fore
most especially when you are kicking
d NAM, and so | indulge myself win
nese little aece.ts. thereby whetlins in my
imagination my ever-present appetite
and commanding the respect Of foreign
friends.
1t will, no doubt, be a source OF comfort
10 ths managers OF THE Jefferson 10
know that 1 endorse their hotel, and they
81
from the peculiar location OF my neigh
borhood, l have been able to turn my
eyes southwark anu view the State penl-
1entiary Now, instead OF going 10 the
'front.' window, / retreat to the rear ones,
and, looking nortnward, 1 view the beau
,fuly-symmetrical architecture or the
mn. Outlines, when the nights are
starry, and naught save the oratorios oil
our Cary-street mousekillers break
the Stiffness OF the air, l peep out,
c.Othed IN my gauzy robes or night, ana
gaze at the Illuminated gem before me.
sometimes, also, / sigh-sigh 20 be an
clevator-boy in that great paIlce-ahu
then prudence and reason comfort me.
We cannot nave everything in this world
And then, too, IL was my privilege, aiohb
with several others, 10 carry OF some
" THE Jeffersons" new paint on that
memorable night when the hosiery was
thrown open TO the public l really be-
iieve my coat-tails received more than
their quota of the rich green colorinS
which was primarily intended for the
ornamentation of the office. How
cherish that paint. Nothing could make
me remove 1t from my coat-tails-no, not
even turpentine.
The magnificent cour. of 1.-THE Jefter-
walkways, especially pleased me. This
court far surpasses the Police Court, the
Hastings Court OF any magistrates
court that l have ever seen! In the
crystal waters which sparkle like gems
IN marble settings (this flight" is copy
righteD, / saw water lilies and crosses
growing, and every moment / expected
TO hear the thud OF a bull-frog diving
out OF sight. The effect was delightfully."-
realistic. / have no doubt one could
eaten minnowS in that water. though
suppose that privilege is reserved for
guests. And then, too, more beautiful
than all the rest. looms up the statue Of
f. Jefferson. the inventor Of the Decla-
ration Of Independence and the discover
n OF the University of Virginia. This
man was well known In his county
md his integrity, probity. and politica
prominence in his precinct well merit the
lonor OF his being reproduced in marble
In the hotel he is represented as having
i sad, sweet face. and tight pants The
statue is a work OF art. and reflects
credit on AIr. jefferson. They tell me
however. that ii doesn't please every
oody-that one man kicked on it. lie tO.I
Major Ginter if rurnOr doesn't fool me
hat as piece Of sculpture II met his
approval but as a likeness Il was a
q fri m for
out the fellow swore again and again
hat il wasn't good portrature. How
10 you know it isn't?" asked the Major
have you ever seen Jeferson?" The
1wner Of the hotel thought this was
sumner, but ii didn't touch the man
'e promptly and emphatically replied
YES"
when and where?" asked the Major
About six weeks ago. in RIP Van
Wrinkle replied the dsputatious and
lnenhshtened chump. A court OF equity
'ught to Issue an injunction to
prevent man ss ignorant as that from
living. What's the use Of making history
II it's going 10 be battered all to pieces
by people who don't know Revolutionary
doings any better than that? | am tod
this outburst Of stuItitude hurt Mr. Jeffer-
son more than did the burning of the
university. although he carried but little
insurance on the institution.
II ever there Is a time when | awake
10 realization-an awful. painful realiza.
tion-of masculine insigniicance. 1t l.
when my lady friends decoy me into a
dry-goods store, and lose me in the mazes
Of the bargain-ct Jnters. Perhaps / rec al
the fact that just such places as these
nave bankruDted my prosenitors for de
cades before me, or may be the thought