St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1895-01-19

Fl, La, SATURDAY,
ARP EXPLAINS.
lie Sets Himself Right With His Pres.
byterian Friends for the Present.
But Soon He Goes to Florida-Then He
Will Spin Nome of His Fish Yarns.
Ee Is Sorry lie Has So Little
Of This Worlds Goods.
My Presbyterian friends are not happy
because the printer made mo say there
were only 800 Presby terians in Georgia.
They flood me with postal cards to in
form me that there are $4,000. wrote
very plainly that there were 3,OOO voters
in that church-three thousand-n0l
thrce hucired-and that is about right.
The typesetters will make some blum
ders and they are sometimes very ex.
asperating TO the author. II a nsE
writes bad, perplexing hand like
Horace Greeley or Alex Stephens or
Sunset Cox. the typo is excusable for
mistakes. When Cox was invited by
Henry Grady to come to Atlanta and
lecture he accepted. Grady then wrote
him to learn what his subject would be
and he answered something that looked
like "Just Human" And 30 it was al.
vertised and placarded all over town.
"Just Human" was on every wall and
corner. Nobody was very much sur
prised. for they knew that Cox was .
wit and wag and that he could make
that subject ft almost any kind of .
discourse. When Mr.. Cox arrived and
saw the posters he was greatly amused.
why, whoever heard Of such sub
ject?' said he to Grady. II wrote you
that my subject would be ''Irish Humor."
The best way to decipher a bad hand.
write is to read it with the double wabbles
like the fellow who shot out tho bulls
eye in Longstreets Georgia Scenes"
Don't look at any particular word. but
let the sight wabble all along the line.
Take it all in at glace. Sometimes
find no difficulty in reading aletter. but
am perplexed over the signature. More
than once have cut it off and pasted il
on the envelope containing my reply.
His own postmaster will recognize it il
l can't. Sometimes a lady correspondent
or madam, and SO We do not know
whether to address her as Miss or Mrs.
But the most amusing letters that
literary men receive arc from school
boys and girls who beg for original
speeches or compositions. Years ago ]
tried to obligs them, but soon found il
would take all my time and was forced
to decline them. 1t grieved me to do
this, for remember what an anxious,
depressing task it was to me to write AN
original speech or composition when ]
was schoolboy. Some of the boys who
write to me for help have an idea that
can roll of speeches like rain runs from
q roof and that love to do it. BL. this
is great mistake. Not long ago boy
wrote to me for very. very humorous
speech-one that wound bring down the
house and create asensatioE-and hoped
would send it right away. He added .
postscript as follows: while you arJ
about it. wish you would write me Two.
DO that can take choice"
As these letters very seldom have .
stamp enclosed. the boys should not be
surprised at receiving no reply. Another
class of letters are more pardonable, bus
they always grieve me. mean letters
asking for charity or for donation to
some church. They are always reason
able and make deserving case and it
grieves mo that cannot respond to
their wishes and expectations. Tho
writers have an idea that am rich and
have great big heart. L wish they
knew how poor am and how small is
my income. They would be astonished.
1t is a great misfortune to have rich
mans ways and : Ioor mans purse.
The results of the war placed a great
many of US in that condition. We were
reared to live free and easy and we kept
an open house. 1t was pleasure to be
generous and hospitable. 1t was
special pleasure Of our wives and
mothers to feast their visitors, and the
servants took pride in it, too. Aunt
Ann, our old-fashioned cook, has not
gotten over it and had rather show Of
to company with . fine dinner than to
says: Il was raised where dar was bum
dance Of everything and I likes to see
bundance yit. Quality folks can't git
along without bundance." Old fashioned
darkies still call the aristocracy quality
folks" Aunt Ann is in trouble now.
The city marshal has levied on her
house and lot for taxes. 1t is only
seven dollars, but she can't pay 1t. She
thinks it an outrage on freedom. Her
old man voted fer the Populars because
they promised to take of taxes and
give them free schoolbooks. 1t is the
same old story Of forty acres and mule.
And now the legislature is fixing to add
to our burdens of taxation. The edu-
cational bill and pension bill will take
nearly a million of dollars, but they
will pass the bills. The reign of the
is still upon us
But we are of to Florida now, and be-
fore this goes to press we will be bask.
ing in the sunshine and breathing the
balmy air Of the gulf coast. My laugh
ter's house is ready, her furniture gone
down, the fish are waiting. the sailboats
sporting on the bay. l sec the surf
rolling and flashing through the island
passes and I hear the murmur Of the
waters. l see long rows Of pelicans
like sentinels standing in she sand the
tide has left l see the wlitewinged
gulls floating il The air and the black,
ugly porpoises turning somersaults in
the water. We will soon DO in 10 sely COM
munion with tropical nature in all her
but We all are sad at the idea |