Rock Island Argus., 1895-09-28
TOLD ABOUT TOWN.
The Anxious Travelling Mans Useless Ex
srtlon- Other Incidents.

One morning recently a CONNER
;ial traveller, anxious to catch a
loon departing train on the opposite
,ide of the river, heard what he sup
posed the last tingle of the ferry
boat bell. The man bore down on
his headgear. grappled tightly to
his luggage and ran toward the
craft at break-neck speed.
the dock the boat ap-
peared to be about six feet from
shore. He continued on his mad
career. and with a mighty bound
cleared the watery chasm and Just
alighted on the ferry platform. He
could not stop himself, and bounded
over boat-hand and collided with
commercial man.
WELL" he gasped. finally gain
ing his feet and recovering his
breath, II caught the boat, anyway,
didn't II"
"Yes, you did," replied the deck
hand, as he arose, "but you id
fool, she is coming in"
Policemen and the Poodle.
Lettering about a Second avenue
business house any evening man be
observed a rather cute pug dog,
which behaves exceedingly we'll un-
til the blue-coats put in an appear
ance headed for their respective
beats. Then the poodle begins a
boisterous attack which continues
until the police have disappeared
from his dogship's view. The canine
seems to possess q particular hatred
for the billy-club wielder which he
betrays in vengeful tones as soon as
he hoves in sight. As the night
central beat officer remarked the
other evening: "Just look At that
poodle when l pass. 1t follows me
sometimes as far as the corner
growing and barking. Anyone but
a policeman can pass unmolested.
It's funny snap"
Sundays In the Square.
Every Sunday during the summer
the old gentleman with the beaver
skin hat could be seen perched in the
band stand of Spencer square enjoy.
ing his pipe and the surrounding
scenery.
He would put in an appearance
about 1:3O without fail, save when
the elements interfered, and if it was
very warm remove his coat and sit
down until the bell announced the
supper hour, when he would mean
der and remain away until the fol-
lowing Sunday.
1t seemed to be a cultivated habit
and this is q desirable location or
hot summers day, with sun pro-
lection overhead and elevated SO as
to command part OF whatever
breeze happened along-for the old
gentleman hardly absented him sell
Sunday.
Joke on the Jailer.
Once two young men accompanied
a friend, who had become suddenly
insane. to the county Jail in accord.
ance with authoritative instructions
and desired that he be. locked up un.
til such time as an inquisition be
held.
Presently the turnkey brushed into
the office where sat the three arriv-
ais. He had been apprised of the
circumstances, and without having
the insane party pointed out, limo.
Gently beckoned to one of the gentle.
men, who happened to have been
sane, to follow him. The stranger
apparently didn't understand the op.
erations Of Jail, and they repaired
to the lookup. The door was swung
open and the man told to enter
which he did, the door being closed
upon him. In a short time the turn
key again appeared at the office.
aren't you going to lock this fel.
low up?" inquired one of the bailiffs,
glancing at the insane man.
why. thought I did," replied
the turnkey, looking surprised.
mo you didn't-that's the fellow
you want to lock up"
And the turnkey looked sheepish
He offered explanations and apologies
and the wrong was righted.
Paid Tor Her Own.
Three young folk-one man ant
two ladies-to all appearances from
the country, entered Second avenue
restaurant and ordered dinner. They
were very giddy, laughing and chat
ting while indulging. Finishing,
the young man approached the coun.
ter and asked the damages.
"Seventy-iive cents" came the
reply.
"Darn-75 cents fer two." re
sponded the fellow with much sur.
prise.
beg pardon" answered the res
tauranter, II thought you wanted
to pay for three"
well"-and he glanced a,
one, probably his sweetheart-"jes
fer me an her."
And the the other lady braced NJ
and planked down her own quarter
She looked as though it was nothing
unnatural, and the three departed
smiling.
Probably the fellow expected /,
calling down from his perhaps jeal
Gus sweetheart if he betrayed tn,
expenses of another fair one. Any
how, that's the way it looked.