davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Van Buren press., 1895-12-21
A PEsslMIsTlC GROCER.
Why One Storekeeper Believes in Human
NatIlrala IntaI nenra Hity.

Why One Storekeeper Believes in Human
Natures Total Depravity.
81 firmly believe in the total deprav-
ity of human nature" remarked an
east side groceryman to one of his GUS
toners.
swell, don't agree with you" was
the response. why are you so out of
sorts with all the world?'
Nothing more nor less than this"
replied the irate man, ''for the past two
weeks the egg box has been robbed
and we couldn't find out who did it.
This morning young hopeful of five
came in with an order from his moth
er. While filing the order | kept a
close watch on the youngster. In
stepping back to the money drawer he
thought was out of sight, and slipped
three eggs into his pocket. l came
back, gave him the change and pack
age, and then | started home with the
boy. l honestly thought that his
mother should know that her boy was
thief, and would willingly correct
him. ...
when we reached the door Mrs. B.
met US, and l stated the case squarely
and firmly. What did that woman do
but laugh-laughed until you could
have heard her block away.
"'Well, now she said, amt that
Just too cute. Johnnys been a-going
with Georgia, and | reckon he learned
1t from Georgia, cause he's been sell
ing country eggs round on the ave-
nue. lately. My Johnny's awful smart,
he is.
Madam Q was angry by this time,
explained the groceryman), your boy
is thief and nothing. else, and you
should whip him or in some way make
him obey the law while he is yet
young"
"'Whip my Johnnyr" CALCULATED
the mother. No sir, / won't whip the
dear, and his pa won't, nuther, cause
Johnny done broke his leg six months
ago No sir, our boys too smart to be
licked, and with that she banged the
door in my face. l repeat my former
statement to you. ! believe in the to-
tai depravity of human nature. Kan
sas CITY Star
The Van Buren press., 1895-12-21
Got Pizen. Fightin Mad.

"But now presently that sick feelin
kinder wore off, and then commence
gettin mad-rale mean, pizen, hghtin
mad. Rufe, did you ever feel mean
enough to hit your own body and rob
your old grandmother? Well, now that
was me to a mats heel. When I got
way over there in Murder Creek swamp
/ couldn't stand it no longer. So dis
mounted and got down, did, and cut
me good hickory stick and lit into that
old mule Beck. Man sir, give her the
dad-blamdest most alloverest beatin
that any one mule ever had to tote out
of them woods.
"But yet still at the same time that
didn't bring in no tobacco, Rufe, and
tobacco was the mainest thing with me
at that time As your friend and fell
low-servant, / do hope and trust you
never will live long enough to want
anything as bad as wanted tobacco.
By gatlins, | was waterin at the mouth
and slobberin worse than any steer calf
roped off from his nanny for the first
time. But | rid on, and l didn't meet
nobody till got way over there in the
old Staggers lane. Torectly | saw a
man comm up the road ridin of a
mule like me, only he was ridin in
walk and me goin in a full gallop. By
this time / reckon must of been about
three-thirds crazy as we'll as foamin
mad. ] was cussin old Beck at the top
of my voice and plowin up her sides
with my spurs at every jump"
The Van Buren press., 1895-12-21
RELIGIOUS AND EDUCATIONAL.

"A wrong desire overcome is a
temptation resisted. RAMS Horn.
Men admire the light of holiness
until its heat begins to scoreh their
nnholiness Young Mems Era
The Christian has I'D more right to
spend an hour in house built ON the
sand than he has to live in one. Rams s
Horn.
"A marble statue of DIR. James Mar
tineau is to be placed in Massachusetts
college, Oxford, upon the completion
of the doctors Goth year.
Prof. H. G. Sedgwiclk has been Sc
cured by Simpson college, Indianola,
Ia, to organize and conduct an In
dustrial and mechanical school.
The annual report of President
Angel, of the University of Michigan,
shows that the attendance of women
has fallen off during the last two years.
How near must a person live to be
my neighbor? Every person is near to
you whom you can bless. He is near
est whom you can bless the most
William Ellery Claiming.
"A queer way of securing religious
equality is that devised by the Stepney
Board of Guardians, who propose to
baptize every fourth founding coming
under their care as a Roman Catholic.
One secret act of self-denial, one
sacrifice of inclination to duty is
worth all the mere good thoughts,
warm feelings, passionate prayers, in
which idle people indulge themselves.
Cardinal Newman.
"A membership of over LOCO is re-
ported for twenty-seven Presbyterian
churches The largest is the Fifth av-
enue, New York, church, of which
Rev. DR.. John Hall is pastor, which
has membership of 2,244.
I'VE all do fade as leaf" Some
fading leaves are crisp and crumpled,
others are soft, velvety, beautiful The
fading face of Christian is oftentimes
more beautiful than glowing cheek.
The light of Heaven is upon it. United
Presby terian
1t is reported that the domestic or
ganization of the vatican is such that
# the pope were to be taken fatally i'll
it would be kept secret for several
days Lately it has been arranged
that not even the body servants of the
pope could penetrate the secret. But
the health of the pope at present does
not at all justify such proceedings.
In June last DR.. Peter McVicar
rendered his resignation as president
of Washburn college, Topeka, Kan, on
account Of failing health. The trus-
tees declined to accept, and proposed
an extended vacation. DR.. McVicar's
physician, however, insists that he
must have complete relief from care,
as the condition of full recovery. At
the last meeting, therefore, the trus-
tees reluctantly accepted the resigna-
tion, and DR.. McVicar will proba bly, go
abroad for a year or two. He has been
president of Washburn college ever
since 1871.
The Van Buren press., 1895-12-21
sWINoLlNe UNCLE SAM.
unaerupulous Men Make Money by Sweat.
ing Gold Coin.

UnHerupulous Men Make Money by Sweat
Ing Gold Soin.
It has long been known that the
most desperate counterfeiting gangs
in America have for years flourished
and grown rich out OF their unlawful
vocation in the mountain businesses of
the Pacific coast, and it came to light
q few days ago that gigantic scheme
for defrauding the government by
sweating gold coins has flourished
without interruption in San Francisco
for nearly seven years.
These revelations came to light by
the recent conviction of Davis c.
Burke, learned old man, who, with
his wife, has continuously conducted
an ingenious laboratory at his humble
home in a tenement quarter of the
city. The aged criminal had just been
sent to prison for eighteen months for
his crime. His method of operating
WAS adroit and successful 1t is esti-
mated that he made many thousands
of dollars out of his secret operation,
during which he extracted about per
cent. Of the value of every gold coin
that passed through the laboratory, 1t
is also probable that he handled about
$500 worth of gold coin daily.
When secret service agents raided
his place they found several large bot
ties filed with fine gold which had
been taken from the coins by what is
known as the eyanide-eleetro process,
which consists of bathing the coins in
solution of the proper strength of
cyanide of potassium with the electric
current carefully adjusted. Burke
WAS cunning enough to know just how
to time the bathing of the coins, and
as a result he extracted about twenty
grains of gold from each $50 piece and
gold in the same ratio from. smaller
coins. The gold thus freed by the pro-
cess passed through the solution and
attached itself to the positive pole of
the battery, clinging there so that it
could readily be scraped off into bot
tie and afterward treated by the ordi-
nary smelling process and run into
fine bars. So subtle was the process
by which he sweated the coins that
no human eye could detect any dif-
ference between the appearance
of the spurious and the genuine,
and it was only by placing the
sweated pieces on delicate scales at
the sub-treasury that the shortage was
detected. To restore the gold to its
original color the criminal chemist
overcame the reddish appearance
made by the chemicals by polishing
the pieces with five revolving brush,
treated with the finest emery flour. 1t
has been discovered that Burke and
his wife have during the past six
years, sold many thousands of dollars
worth of gold in the form of fine bars
to local smelling companies. They
were also cunning enough to add a
small per centage of base metal-such
as copper or lead-to every run" so
as not to excite the suspicious of the
companies they dealt with by reason
of the unusal fineness of the material
offered for sale N. Y. World.
The Van Buren press., 1895-12-21
BOTH SIDES.
Peculiar Complaining of an Irritable Hus-
band-His Wife's Patience.

Peculiar Complaining of an Irritable Hus-
band-Bis Wifes Patience.
Mrs. Savage was a woman greatly
liked and respected in the neighborhood
n which she lived, and her even dis
position was often praised by her neigh
oors who were apt to be rather plain
Ipoken in regard to her husbands irri-
able temper. II don't see how IT is,
Aunt Temperance, that you are always
10 quiet when Uncle Ichabod begins to
treG about useless things You never
Iay word" remarked her niece, who
had been staying at the farmhouse for
Ieveral weeks and had heard Ichabod's
frequent complainings.
Mrs. Savage smiled placidly as she
answered.:
I'm most afeerd, Miranda, that you
haven't paid strict attention to what
FOUR uncle was saying at the times
Vou men ton, because, il you had,
you'd a seen that he don't need any
body to reply to him; he reasons with
himself, so to speak, and presents my
,iews sight better than l could. You
ust give attention the next time you
hear him a-disputing and you'll see
hat I've no occasion to disturb my
,elf."
The opportunity for listening to Mr.
Savage was soon given.
'Taint no place to put chair out
On that back stoop," began Uncle
lchabod
"But it's kind of pleasant place to
,it," he went on, in milder tone; and
then, raising his voice:
81 don't care if It's; the chair'll be
spoiled: it'll be left out in all kinds of
weather, and / won't have it here"
Then, with just suggestion of a
pause, his voice fell again and he con-
;inued:
"A wooden chair don't spoil very
Easy, and that's one of the kitchen
chairs that never was painted"
Never was paintedr' he repeated in
louder tone. ''There tbs! Just be-
.auee anything amt fixed up TO kill
taint any use" and he lifted the
chair and moved it to the other side of
the stoop
perhaps If it's over this side it will
be more sheltered" came his milder
tones, and then:
"All the talking do don't do speck
If good-not a speck. might just as
we'll never say a word" and, sitting
lown in the offending chair, Uncle
tchabod began tanning himself with
his big straw hat while Miranda and
her aunt exchanged glances of under
standing. -Youth's Companion.
The Van Buren press., 1895-12-21
FUR GARMENTS.
Tho Latest in Comfortable Wraps for the
Cold Weather.


Cold Weather.
Though relegated to a second place
by many, there are others who prefer
coats and jackets for fur garments.
These are now limited to Persian lamb
and seal-sl1in. They have immense
sleeves, each made of four skins, and
the armholes are enlarged as much as
is consistent with a good fit, yet it is
still struggle to get into fur JACKIE Is
unless one wears silk waist with soft,
crushable sleeves. Plain untrimmed
Jackets are most often bought, while
those of previous seasons are modern-
lied by combining with ehinchilla,
black marten, or sal BILE. used as revers,
epaulettes or a collarette. Bordering
of another fur is seldom seen. The
gayest porcelain buttons decorated
with Vatican figures and framed in
rhinestones are used in pairs just at
the waist-line where the revers start.
Double-breasted jackets of seal-slSirs
have two rows of large tortoise-s-ell
buttons with eyes down the front.
Twenty-four inches is the popular
length of seal-skin jackets that have
straight doub ble-breasted fronts with
wide pointed revers that may be COW
cred with the same velvety seal or with
chinchilla. The back is closely but
easily fitted to the waist-line and is
very full below A turned-over collar
matches the revers. The immense
sleeves are plated into the armholes
as If they were of the most pliable
cloth, having broad box-plait on top
to give the long-shouldered effect, and
folded in three fan plaits each side.
The lining is of brown broeade. This
Jacket, made entirely of seal-slSin,
comes in three lengths, twenty-four,
thirty and thirty-six inches. 1t is also
made of Persian lamb
( Single breasted jackets of seal-skin
are closely fitted, both front and back,
and have long revers of chinchilla or
of black marten, starting in point at
the waist-line and extending up wider
to cross the back as full, deep ruflied
collar. A high inner collar is made of
the two kinds of fur-seal-skin next
the throat and black marten outside.
Sleeves of extraordinary size, wide
even below the elbow, are tapered to
cuff of the trimming fur, Two painted
porcelain buttons are at the waist
front where the revers start. Persian
lamb jackets of this style have revers
of chinchilla or of black marten.
The longest fur coats shown meas
ure thirty-six inches, and are for mid
winter wear, for sleighing, and for
very tall women. They are double
breasted and straight in front, with
fitted back and sides, the back below
the waist being left open down the
middle They have broad-pointed re-
vers reaching out on large gigot
sleeves. These come in both Persian
lamp and sealslSin, without trimming,
andsare chosen by conservative wom-
en- who will not adopt the short coats
--Harper's Bazaar.
The Van Buren press., 1895-12-21
Salad Dressing.

Considerable variety may be given to
fish, meat and vegetable salads by the
use of lemon juice, chopped parsley,
and bit of onion which, properly
blended, give piquancy of flavor not
to be had by the use of French or may
onnaise dressings only. Even a cold
potato or two, IA ripe, firm tomato, and
cucumber, combined will make an
excellent dinner salad If served very
cold. Use equal parts of each, chop
ping them fine; season with dressing
made of teaspoonful of onion juice,
tablespoonful of oil, the juice of two
lemons, salt, dash of paprika, and a
tablespoonful of chopped parsley. Cut
stale bread without the crust into
pieces half an inch square. Mix with
the vegetables, turn the dressing over
the top, and stand in a cool place
twenty minutes Beets are excellent
with the same dressing, leaving out
the onion juice, but adding two or
three small onions chopped fine to
each half-dozen beets used.-N. Y.
Daaf
The Van Buren press., 1895-12-21
CARE OF THE SHOES.
Treatment That win Improve Their Looks
and STAYING OualitIes.


and Staying Qualities.
Have three small clean cloths, ba-
sin of water, bottle of cosmoline, vas
cline, petroleum jelly, or whatever else
you like to call it-it is all the same
and clean shoe polishing or cloth
brush.
The shoes should be wiped as free of
mud as possible before drying and
should be hung in warm current of
air, say two or three feet above reg
lister or stovepipe, not underneath the
kitchen range, where they will be
scorched on top and wet underneath.
When they are perfectly dry wipe
the mud stains off with damp cloth;
be sure to get them all off; then rub
hard with dry cloth, then polish with
the brush, being careful about the
stitching and around the sole. 1t is
best to do only a part at u time, say
first the vamp, one side, then the
other, not forgetting the heel.
Unless your shoes have been badly
scuffed and rotted by bad shoe dress
ing they will look almost like new.
Now rub cosmoline over them with
clean cloth and rub it we'll in. Use it
literally, for too little will only destroy
the polish, while plenty Of cosmoine
improves it. The whole shoe should be
carefully done, even among the but
tons and buttonholes, and, presto
your shoes are soft, pliable, black,
and just polished enough to look well
and not stain your underclothes or
fingers when putting them on, and
little water will do them no harm.
Try it once and you will never want
TO do it any other way. y.-Philadelphia
Timas
The Van Buren press., 1895-12-21
NO CHlLLS THERE.
The Aiiment Required a Milder Remedy
Than Ouinine.

ihAn
The colonelzsuggested that / take
along package of quinine in my ride
through the swamp country, as the
towns were far apart and the drug be.
yond the reach of many settlers. At
nine o'clock in the morning | reached
a cabin to find the owner and his wife
and three children sitting out in the
sun. All had blue lips and haggard
faces, and all were shivering with a
chill | told the man that would
leave him quinine, and was about to
undo the package when he stopped me
with gesture and said:
stranger, we amt chillin' for
shucls, but that as them beyand us
that ar. Leave me plug of terbacser
and save yer keenine fur wusser
cases"
On the doorstep of the next cabin sat
lone man. He was trying to scrape
the bark off sassafras root, but he
shook and shivered so hard that he
could make no progress. ! told him
had some quinine as free gift, but he
held up his shaking hands and replied:
cured by kee-nine, but is jist narvous-
ness for the want of sip of whisky.
You'll find chi1lin' further down the
road"
gave him a sip from my flask and
at the next cabin found a woman and
two children on the bed and two more
children on the floor. The woman sat
| In, l.1 o6, Il, 1
clicked her teeth together, and as l eX-
planned the object of my call she re-
piled:
Powerful kind o. yo' stranger, but
thar is them as needs it further on"
But haven't you chills and feverfn
'Wall, sorter, but nuthin to brag OF.
| reckon the most that ails me is thu
want of snuff If you'll be so kind AS
to leave me a pinch or two, I'd be
mighty peart in an hour or So"
During the days ride of twenty
ave miles | dispensed whisky, snuff,
tobacco and pipes several times over,
but no quinine. At the last cabin
before / reached Marion l found
man stretched out on the bed and tied
tdSl. Ills nHnQs were as cold as Ice,
his lips as blue as If painted, and his
shakes not only shook the bed, but the
whole ca bin as we'll.
Tiled he 'un SO he 'un couldn't shake
off," explained his wife.
II see. He has it pretty bad. Twill
leave all this quinine with you and it
ought to cure him in a week or two"
"Kee-nine; What's that fur?"
ITO cure chills and fever. I'll fix
lose for him at once"
stranger, don't bother" she said,
as began at the package.
but he wants to be cured?'
Yes, reckon he does; but don't both
sr with that kee-nine. If yo'd got
drop O. whisky an a plug o terbacker
an some powder an shot, yo' kin make
Sam as peart as butterfly by to-mor-
row. 'Tain't ager as ails him, but it's
bein' discouraged kase coons is thick
around yere and every dawg-gane var
mint can climb faster an higher'n he
kin. Detroit Free Press.
The Van Buren press., 1895-12-21
WIT AND WISDOM.

-''And must we say farewell?' she
faltered. Yes" he answered, She
shuddered. She hated to sit up an
other two hours, but he was firm in his
purpose. Detroit Tribune
When the last sunshine of expir-
ing day in summer twilight creeps
itself away, who hath not felt the soft
ness of the hour sink on the heart-as
dew along the fiower?-Byron.
-Irate Pa-Did you tell that young
man of yours that Pm going to have
the gas turned off at ten? Trix-Yes.
Irate Pa-Well? Trix-Hes coming at
a quarter-past in future. Judy.
Who swerves from innocence, who
makes disuse of that serene companion,
a good name, RECEIVERS not his loss; but
walks with shame, with doubt, with
fear, and haply with remorse. Words
worth.
Society Actress-In'whatd direction
do you think my art lies? Critic-It
lies in every direction. Actress-In.
deed? Critic-Yes; particularly when
it tells you that you can act-N. Y.
World.
The press was not granted by
monarchs it was not gained for us by
aristocrats; but it sprang from the peo-
pie, and, with an immoral instinct, it
has always worked for the people,
Disraeli
The Husband-I expect to be de-
tanned at the office this evening. The
Wife-Late? The Him! Yes,
quite late. The W-Very well, darl-
ing; but pray don't bet too high un-
less you are sure of winning. IN. Y.
World.
MIR, Huggins, entering the parlor
with Miss Kissam on his ARM have
Just had taste of Paradise; I've been
to your conservatory, Major" The
Maior-'Yes, / notice you got some
powder ON your nose getting it. y
Yonkers Statesman.
Gentleman Ito his coachman)-
John, wish you would go to the rail-
way station to bring my mother-in-
law to the house. l will give you a
mark for your trouble. Coachman-
But what if the lady does not come?
Gentleman-Then-then I'll give you
two marks. -Fliegende Blaetter.
A Gentle Hint Wife-Say, dear,
why don't you pay that bill the doctor
sent around? He has called for it two
or three times. Husband-That's all
right. He can afford to wait Wife
Well, you didn't seem to think he could
that night you were sick. Detroit
Free Press.
You don't come to Pepson's Sc
anees any more,' said the lady in
brown. "No, said the lady in black,
"and, what's more, l amt a.goin' to-
The last time called for John, and he
didn't come, the fool that runs the ac-
Gordon played He Never Cares to
Wander From His Own Fireside.' /
list told 'em all what thought of 'em
and walked out, did. Indianapolis
Journal
A good wife makes the cares of the
world sit easy, and adds sweetness to
It's pleasures; she is a mans best com
panion in prosperity, and his best II
non only friend in adversely; the most
careful preserver of his health, and the
kindest attendant on his sickness; .
faithful adviser in distress, q comforter
in afiiiction, and discreet manager OF
ali his domestic affairs. L. M.
Stretch
The Van Buren press., 1895-12-21
she Reaented II.

"How dare you accuse me of being a
kleptomaniac she said, indignant
ly.
why" replied the young man Tho
was on his knees, ST didn't"
isn't a kleptomaniac a person who
purloins things for which he has no
possible useT
ayes"
"Did you not Just say that had
stolen your heart? Hence, MONSTER
hence" Washington Evening Star.
The Van Buren press., 1895-12-21

the case with him, and blame II he
didn't light onto me whilst I had one
foot in the stirrup. So we had it right
there in the big road. up and down and
over and under for few rounds, but he
had got in the first lick and he made it
count. And then, Rufe, was SO scan
dlous weak and nervous till couldn't
fight much nohow. The truth is mighty
even when it hurts, Rufe, aud the naked,
unwashed truth is that the stranger
give me blame good beatln. / found
tremendous big pile of difference be-
tween whippin blamed old mule name
Beck and licl1in man py the name Of
Weaver, which the stranger give me
that as his name.
when it was all over with he wanted
to know what in the thunderations was
the matter, and all | could say was
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. Well, sir,
nobody would of thought it, but blamed
If he didn't pull out plug of the bull
list store-bought stuff have Topped a
lip on in many day, and cut me off a
full square. Inside of three minits
had come to my senses, and we shook
hands and parted friends.
"But remember what tell you, Rufe.
Don't you never start oil to take no
long trips on q blamed old mule by the
name of Beck without plenty of tobacco
in your breeches,
The Van Buren press., 1895-12-21
He Heard the Cu.sIn Part.

Soon as ever I got in hearin distance
Of the man comm up the road lit into
cussin him and eallin for tobacco with
every breath. He heard the cussin part,
and by the time rid up to him, he was
down on the ground, with his mule
hitched and his coat off, ready for a
fght. And nothin else would do him
but a fight. then got down to argIfy
The Van Buren press., 1895-12-21
meteorological Item.

He-Do you know that you remind
me very much of the weather?
She-In what respect?
"You are so changeable."
rs that so? Do you know that 1
don't see the least resemblance between
you and the weather."
"You don't say So"
"You are certainly not like the
weather. You know the weather is
bright occasionally-you never are
Texas Slftings