The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1895-10-22
MIR. DOOLEY ON "rHE GRIP"
in on McGuire's Wake and Got
Chuck Full of Miokrobes,"


Chuck Full of Miokrobes,"
From the Chicago Record.l |
Mr.. Dooley was discovered making a
beverage consisting Of one
part syrup, two parts qulnlne and tif-
teen parts strong waters.
Whats the matter2' asked Mr., Nc
Kenna,
81 have tn lah grip" said Mr.. Doc
ley, blowing his nose and wiping his
eyes. bad cess to 1t! Oh, me poor
back! 1t feels as If a dhray had r-run
over it. Did We liver have it? Ye did
not. Well, we're lucky. Ye're a lucky
man.
Il whit to McGuire's wake las week.
They gave him a dacent snd-off. No
porther. An himself looked natural
as fine a corpse as liver Gavin laid out.
Gavin tould me so himsllf, He was as
pr-roud iv Mcclure as it he owned him;
fetched half the town in to look at him
an give livery wan iv thin his ca-ards.
He near frightened old man Dugan into
a faint. 'NIisther Dugan, how old a-are
ye? 'Sivinty-five, thanks be- says Du-
gan. Thin says Gavin, take wan iv
me ca-ards,' he says. I hope ven not
forget me- he says.
"'Twas there / got TIL lah grip. Las
teways tits me opinion iv it, though tn
docther says 1 swallowed a bug. 1t
don't seem right, Jawn, FIR TIL Me
CURES is a elane family, but tn doc
Their says a bug got into me system.
What sort iv bug?' says I, "A lah grip
bug he says. 'Yez have Microbes in
yer lung he says. What's thim?' says
T. Trims tn lah grip bugs says he
We took one in an warmed it, he says,
an it has growed and multiplied till yer
system does be full iv Thin he says,
millions iv thim,' he says, 'ma-archin
Ian conference.-the through ye.' Glory
be to tn saints, says I. Had betther
swallow some insect powdher? I says.
| Some iv thin in me head has had a
fallin' out an is THROWN bricks Fool
| ish man. says he. Go to bed he says,
| AN lave thin alone he says. 'Whin
they find who th're in, he says, they'll
quit We
$50 I wint to bed an waited, while
| TIL Mickrobes had fun with me. Mon
dab all iv thin was quiet but thin in
| me stummick. They stayed up late
dhrinlin' an carousin' an dancin' jigs
till wurruds come up beehune TIL Kerry
Mickrobes an thin from Wexford an
tn whole pa-arty whit over to me lift
lung, where they could git TIL air, an
had it out. TIL mex day tn little Mick
Irobes made toboggan slide iv me spins
an manetime some Mickrobes that was
wur-r-kin FIR TIL tiliphone comp'ny got
lit in their heads that me legs was poles
an put on their spikes an climbed al
might long
They was bred out tn mex day til
about S o'clock, whin thin that was il
me head begin fiushin' out tn rooms
an knew there was goin' to be doings
in the top fiat. What did thin Mick
/ robes in me head do but invite all tn
other Mickrobes in FIR tn avenin'. They
all come. Oh, by gar, they was no
wan iv thin stayed away. At o'clocl
they begun to move firm me shins t
me thrawt They come in platoons an
squads an dhrovas. Some iv thin
brought along brass bands an NOR
thin wan hundred thousand iv thin
dhruv through me pipes in dhrays. !
lIOlley l!llG Nto - tEIl uD lie DdSh OIL
ivry car r-run into a wagon load i
scrap iron at TIL base iv me skull
9TH Mickrobes in me head mustv
done thimselves proud. livery few min
utes some wan iv tn kids d be STINT GU
| with tn can an I'd say to meself
There they go, carryin' tn thrade t
Schwartbmeister's because TIM sick al
can't wait on Thin / was daffy, Jawr
) dye mind Th' loikes " me film
J pitcher FIR little boy bug! Ho, he
Such dhreams. An they had a game i
, forty-flves an there was wan Mickrob
| there that larned to play tn game i
( tn County Tipp'rary, where tits playe
on stone, an livery time he led thrumr
t he'd like to knock me head off. Who
thrick is that? says tn Tipprary Mich
robe. ''Tis NINE says little re
9 headed Mickrobe firm tn County Ro:
| common They tipped over tn chair
! to tell tn whole pa-arty was at i
$ They'd been a hurlin' game in tn bac
iv me skull an tn young folks wa
] dancin' break-downs an havin' leppil
e matches in me forhead, but they a
: stopped to mix in.
'On, Twas grand SuInulS-tlH III
t lions iv thin min, women an childhre
S rowin' on tn flure, hands an feet goir
q ice picks an hurlin' stick, clubs, bricl
e bats an beer kags flynn in tn air. Ho
t NANNY iv thin was kilt I'll niver know
e FIR l whit as daft as hen an dhrean
e iv orga Min q Mickrobe campaie
: club. that'd sweep tn prim'ries a
/ maybe go acrost an free ireland VIII
: | woke UP me legs was as weak as
s day-old babby's an me poor head inn
ty as a cobbler's purse. | want no mo-
iv thin. Give me amy bug firm
cockroach to an aygle save an excipti
1 Il i.,a1 h IL