Daily Kennebec journal., 1895-07-31
SOME QUEER NAMES.
FOUND BY A CURIOUS MAN IN CHI.
cAGo'S DIRECTORY.
Odd Cognomens That Bear Funny ReIs-
tionships to Their Possessors-Lavyers
Head the List, but Doctors Are Not Far
Behind Them.

| Head the List, but DOCTORS Are Not Far
Behind Them.
; What is tho funniest name you ever
heard OFF Was 1t Knockermus, Niggortoe
or WindmillS What do you think OF Up-
percrust, Winterpiggin or I&athdew for
the last name Of man or womanf How
about Bluebag for an appellationS And
what is your opinion of Mugboy as a cog.
nomen2 Shouldn't Sunnyday be cheerv
sort of fellow, and who could blame Trou.
J blesoul for being Of a worrying turn OF
mindf
Pretty funny names these, all Of them.
but there are plenty just as odd in tho di
rectory and on the streets Of Chicago
Take any profession or line Of trade and
follow it up with this idea in mind, and
quite a budget of odd names can be col
lected in an hours walk about the down
town streets. Lawyers are prolific in the
use of peculiar names, and here arc a few
of them: Talker, Blower Splitter, Nagger
and Windyman are all to be found In down
town offices. Hardmouth, Dustdry and
Slowgoer inhabit the upper floor OF West
Side justice shop The Moth Side is re-
sponsible for Slanger Swearcr and Long.
tongue, and q South Side suburb supports
joice in the appropriate names of Patience
Alltimo and Neverquick. The South Side,
too, shelters Mr.. Killjustice and Mr.. Hang.
man.
Doctors are we'll represented in the con.
gress of funny names, and the list might
be headed with awbones, Killer, Murder
er and Killim. DIR. Fierce is near neigh
Dor of his medical brother DR.. Gentle,
| To-
either Dr. Sadheart would hardly be
cheerful physician, DR.. Mournful should,
according to his name, be just as bad and
who would want q man named Greif to
sit at ones sick bed side? Dyer has not a
cheerful sound, and Graveyard and Green.
| grave might reasonably be expected to
handicap a struggling physician. But the
gentlemen SO named do not seem to have
suffered from their melancholy sounding
names. DR.. Gay is said to be an unusually
solemn man, and DR.. Hothead Is declared
by his friends to be the very reverse of his
name None Of the DR.. Stouts attempts to
| live up to his name, all of the Shorts are
tall, not a single Giant is above medium
height, and solitary DIR. Dwarf is in reality
anything but pygmy.
Dentists como next in point of appro
pirate names, and perhaps DR.. Fuller de-
serves first place In their section of the
names which provoke merriment Filler
Scrapcr, Filler, Polish and Makewhite are
| not bad rs advertisements of their owners
business, and Tcether ought TO be posi-
tive help to the dentist who signs it after
his given name. Goldplate, Rubbermouth,
Harlequin and Rooter will serve as good
illustrations of how funny names can be
when considered In connection with the
business of the people who own them. and
the name of Burr will awaken painful
rccollections in the minds of many per-
sons Forcept Is dangerously like forceps,
and Pain is too suggestive to look we'll on
dentists sign.
Preachers in Chicago seem to have good
names as rule, but Mcssrs. Blowhard,
Gossip and Cruel have departed from tho
correct path in this respect, and Mr.. Free
thinker has followed them. Mr.. Dippor
is, of course, a Baptist, and Mr.. Waterlovo
should be n temperance worker. Swing,
Blackhcart, Herring, Sandhater and
Smudge are ell queer names for preachers
to own, but perhaps Gracebucket is the
oddest of all. Goodvessel is evidently O
relic of Puritan times but who can OK
plain Deathhunter and Devilsfootf All
these names are owned by men who have
once lived in Chicago If they do not now,
and all are familiar to old settlers Mercer
should by rights rather belong to dry
goods man than pastor, and Tophcavy is
hardly appropriate to the ministerial call
ing. 1t Is certain that tho name of Gam
BILE would go sadly against divine who
wished to preach against cards and bill
liards, but Makepcace and Goodfellow
have decidedly pleasant sound Shcp-
Nrnrtv oil fnr a
vinity student, but his classmate, Mr..
Goatskin, doubtless regrets that his father
happened to possess this particular namo
Tailors seem to bo especially fond OF
names which are applicable to and descrip-
tive of their calling, and Besbears might
be taken as good example of this kind Of
name Gutter 81 Stitch is the inscrip-
tion above the door of n down town firm,
and Threadneedle & Wax must surely have
hailed from London. Filter Seams, Pad
ding, Sewer, Yardman and Measurer are
all to be found among tho lists of city
tailors, and Longbill Is printed ON the lot
ter heads of a well known tailor and fur
nisher.
Dressmakers are not far behind In the
race, and the West Side boasts a Nine
Scissors, Mrs. Trimmer and a Miss
Chargehigh. 1t is not known whether the
latter tries to live up to her name or not,
but 1t is suspected that Mrs Poormaker
would like to return to her maiden name.
Mrs. Venus regards her name as part Of
her stock in trade, and Miss Graceful looks
upon hers in the same fashion.
Book names are very we'll represented In
Chicago, and any one who doubts the
reality of Dickens characters need only
take walk down Wabash avenue. Wild
dicomb, Boffln, Pecksniff, Snagsby and
Nickleby are all to be found there, and
State street has Cheveril, Dorrit, Jatty.
coram and Jellyby. Twist and Chadband
are just round the corner ON side street,
and the Dolly Warden store is known to
all old residents at least by sight.
Thackeray ia represented by Pendenn.s
and small army of Newcomes, and Scott
has Waverley, Derwent, Quentin and
QuackenbOtham to show that he Is not for
gotten.-Chicago Tribune