davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-10-23

The Sarceo Indians recently in
formed the Governor General OF
Canada that they did not intend to
work, nor did they believe in it, as il
was unhealthy. The idea is not origi.
nal with them, observes the Trenton
IN. J.) American, but 1t shows that
the savage mind is not equal to Crap
pling with philosophical problems that
have asitatel their civilized brethren
for ACES.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-10-23
A DELAYED ERRAND.

ELL, OF all the
thingsl Jim Car
roll, hev you got
home Mt last !"
A red faced and
angry W o m a n
stood in til G
kitchen door, her
sleeves rolled up
and her arms
akimbo. A meek
little man dis
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-10-23

lie (pleadingly)-"Why can't we be
married?"
She (coyly)-"Oh, I can't bear to
leave father alone just yet.
He (earnestly)-"But, my darling,
he has had you such long, long time?"
She (freezingly)-"Sir ~ Pittsburg
Dispatch,
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-10-23

The people of the United States
use, on an average, 10000, 900 post.
age stamps of all kinds each and every
day of the year, or total of about
1880, 900, 900 per annum.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-10-23
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE.
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.

The Bicycle Face-Those Gentle Crea-
tures-SumcIent Cause-Why lie
Did It-A Touchy oint, Etc, Etc.
"Ah, me, what perils do environ
The man who NEEDLES with cold ironi'
started on my flying wheel
The flush of exercise to feel
When, disconnected with its load,
1t scattered me along the road,
And though / lit on every place,
The most Of 1t was on my face
New York Sun.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-10-23
Must Provo mar Dan Rile.

Bicycle accidents are very rare in
ST. Petersburg, Russia, for the simple
reason that the authorities do not
allow the use of the bicycle in public
except by riders who have given salts
factory proof Of proficiency before o
severe board of examiners,
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-10-23
KILLS EVERY TIME.

81 see they are introducing an army
musket which is said to be very dead
ly."
'Yes, it is 50 constructed that no.
body can tell if it is loaded or not. "
---Detroit Tribune.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-10-23
THE TROUBLE WITH HIM.

"Rising nicely. ain't he, mammal"
JIMMY What on earth have you
been doing with Fido?"
Hes just ct three yeast cakes aud
drunk pan of sour milk. Chicago
Record.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-10-23
AT A LEGATION RECEPTION.

Miss Fuller-"When our Americans
go to China they build railroads, start
live enterprises, and are of great bene'
fit to your country. When a China
man comes here he is content to open
a laundry. How do you account for
it?"
Mandarin Hit Rice-"Molicans need
hleep more cleaning. "-Les!ie's
Weekly.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-10-23

Rabbits may yet save the country.
The Secretary for Agriculture has re.
ceived letter from Mr.. Berry of the
the Agent-General' Office stating that
it is expected during the coming sea-
son that the price of rabbits will be
from twenty cents to twenty-five cents
each. The charges for dock dues,
carriage and commission at London
are about two cents per rabbit, and 20
Hull or any other manufacturing pro.
yincial cities about two cents extra.
He adds: "lhero is not the slightest
doubt that very large trade indeed
is open to Victorian rabbits in the
great manufacturing districts, such n
Leeds, Manchester and Sheffield,
where all the members Of a family
work at the mills, and therefore have
not much time to spare for cooking.
Rabbits can be easily cooked, and ara
accordingly much favored by mill
workers, and it Is no unusual thing
when rabbits are cheap for them to
he the sole local meat food eaten by
tue family during the week He
strongly urges Victorian shippers to
take "a small profit in order TO assistin
pushing trade in rabbits ia these dis
triets. Melbourne (Australial Argus.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-10-23

The Minnesota census this year pre-
aents NnanomOly. Excepting Duluth,
the cities haven't grown much, but the
farming population has greatly in
creased.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-10-23
WHY HE DID IT.

Fond Parent-"Bobby, did you pick
oil the white meat of this chickenP"
Bobby-"Well, pop, to make clean
breast Of it, l did"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-10-23
ToMMY's LOGIC.

Mr.. Bliss-''No, Tommy, you can
not have any more cake. Don't you
know it is very wrong to ask the sec
ond time for auything?"
Tommy Bliss-"You did it, papa.
Mr.. Bliss-'I did it, Tommy Why
what do you mean?"
Tommy BlIss-"Why, mamma's
your second wife. "-Yonkers States
man.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-10-23
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

He-'I can tell woman's age. no
matter how old she is" She-''You
must be brute. Puck.
Magistrate -"Now tell me why you
stole that watch" Prisoner-"Oh,
just to while away the time. "-Phila-
delphia Record.
'Help Help" cried the man who
was being robbed. "Calm yourself,
said the highwsyman. 81 don't need
any assistance. Town Topics.
Adolphus-"Why, Ethel. are you
looking at mo so intently?" Ethel
(dreamily)-'I was gazing at vacan-
cy, Dolly. Boston Transcript.
Manager Eyes, we advertised for
a night watchman." Applicant
"Then I'm Just the one for the place.
The slightest noise will wake me up"
Customer-"These trousers don't
sit just right about the hips" Tailor
They've all right-what you need
is something more in the pockets. y
Chicago Record.
A.-"Have you ever heard the eight
year-old violin player who is creating
such sensation?" Bob, yes
heard him in Berlin twelve years ago !"
-Ephemere Comique.
Alphouse-."You never hear of
women ca shiers running off with their
employers money" Henri-"Not
often but when it does happen they
take the employer too"
Old Girl-"You say that you would
hustle after man." "New Girl
"Yes, certainly" "Why do such an
unseeming thing?' 40 reduce my
wait. Adams Freeman.
"I've an idea in my head, exclaimed
young Mr.. GosliD. "But are you
quite sure that you can distinguish
between ideas and wheels?" asked Miss
Kittish. Detroit Free Press.
He-"What pity that Miss We're
de We're should have lost her good
name" She greatly shocked d-"In
heavens name, what do you meanP"
He-"Why, marrying man named
Jones, of course"
"We must hy," said Murat to Ma
poleon, on one occasion when the bat.
tie had gone sorely against them. at
is impossible" replied the latter,
"The enemy has destroyed both wings
of the army. "-Harper's Bazaar.
Visitor-"I don't hear that awful
piano up stairs?" Bagley-"No, they
don't play it any more" Visitor
whats the matter?" Bagley--" "P 80
bo,r,bt N 1narboun,I oh Ia ovpls nvarvy
time he hears music Chicago
Record.
School Teacher-"It you had your
choice, Willie, would yoI rather be
rs wise as Solomon, as great as Julius
Cesar, as rich as Crssus, as eloquent
MS Demosthenes or as tall as Goliath ?''
Wilie-"Id rather be drummer in
a brass band !"
They were driving together, when
Miss Rocks, unsolicited, gurgled forth
her views upon matrimony. "Love is
dreary desert" she said, "and mar
riage an oasis. Whereupou Mr..
Shyly remarked that 'it certainly did
require deal of sand.
Weary Business Man hanging tC
strap)-"Why in creation don't you
run more cars?" Street Car Presi
dent-"My dear sir, it would pain me
exceedingly to deprive courteous gen
tlemen like yourself of the privileg,
of giving up seat to II lady"
'Jeremiah, said Mr. Jingle's wife
rs that gentleman came home some
what late, "you don't write me touch
ing apostrophos Us you use to.
"No, replied Mr. Jingle, "and yoy
didn't used to talk question marks an,
exclamation points as You do now.
Washington Star.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-10-23

1t is proposed to run an aluminium
works in Great Britain by power from
the falls of Foyer, but the "National
Trust for Places Of Historic Interest
or Natural Beauty" is fighting the pro-
loot
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-10-23
SUFFICIENT CAUSE.

Daughter-"Pspa went away in
very good spirits this morning."
Mother-"Good gracious That re-
minds me that forgot to ask him for
some money!
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-10-23
AND HAD NO RETURNS.

"Odd about that killing of Smodly,
wasn't it,"
81 hadn't heard"
eyes; took out a 5000 policy only
last week and yesterday was shot and
killed"
"Well, some fellows were born
lucky-Pve been paying premiums for
twenty-five years. "-Chicago Record.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-10-23
HIS ANGEL.

"What is that, dear?" the young
husband asked.
"Angel food" said she, sweetly.
IL guess you better eat it your
self. You are the only angel in the
house"
And he helped himself literally to
the bread and beef. indianapolis
Journal.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-10-23
ONE or TIE COMMON HERD.

Mrs. De Style-'T an afraid that
young man who called on you last
evening is not accustomed to good So
ciety."
Daughter-"Why, mother3"
Mrs. De Style" Whenever he
speaks, he says something. New
York Weekly.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-10-23

Not one life insurance company is
now doing business in Kansas. The
statutory conditions nro so onorous
that all have withdrawn.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-10-23

Tho new woman is pleased to reflect
that there are, according to the cen
sus, a million and hulf more men
than women in tho United States.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-10-23
THOSE GENTLE CREATURES.

Miss Oldum (playfully)-'I'm older
than you think 1 am.
Miss Caustique-T doubt it. -
Chicago Record.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-10-23

Michigan has decided that for judi
cial purposes an oath administered by
telephone is binding.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-10-23

u Massachusetts, and New Jersey are
leading the country in road improve
ment.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-10-23

dozen times he felt Minervy's hand on
his coat collar, and he knew that if it
we're there he would have no choice
but to go back. Such time was never
made since the days of Tam O'Shan.
ter. Over fallen tree trunks, around
upturned roots, vaultIng over gullies,
lodging low hanging limbs, dragging
himself free from the embrace of toe
affeotionate briars, away he weiIt down
the hill, pursued by the avenging
shadow OF Minervy.
At the foot Of the slope, where the
hill and valley met, he emerged into
the road. 1t was quite dark, and The
fear of pursuit haunted him no longer
that is, not to any great extent. He
didn't run now; he only walked rap
idly. He carried his hat in his hand,
and mopped his perspiring brow with
his handkerchief, and remarked in al
amazed undertone:
"By Nedn
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-10-23
RA1Es OF ADvERrEslMo.

One Square, one inch, one innsrtton, = 10
One Square one inch, one month. H0
One Square, one inch, three months. ~
One Square, one inch, one year ....s 0W
Two Squar3s, one year.. ..,....... 70 ~
Quarter Column, one year. ...~.sssss. ~ "
Ons Colunnn- onS year -. -. 100 10
Legal advertisements tn cents per In
each insertion.
Marriages and death notices grads.
All bills for yearly advertisements colNuoSe
quarterly. Temporary advertisements -
Be paid In advance.
Job work-cash on delivery. -
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-07-18
PRIZE TOULOUSE GOOSE.

to sit. Geese average about forty-fve
eggs in year, but occasionally run up
to sixty, or even seventy. Breeding
geese should be kept rather thin in
flesh and have a free grass range.
Newly Matched goslings do not require
food for the first twenty-four hours.
They should be fed on hard boiled
eggs. chopped fine, stale bread soaked
in milk, scalded meal. boiled potatoes,
etc, and kept away from the water for
the first fortnight and housed in dry
place until strong enough to run about
wei.
Geese require grass as much as cat
tie and should have it in abundance.
They also feather out more quickly
when permitted to run on green pasture
and have plenty of water. Under these
conditions they should produce good
crop of feathers every ten weeks They
should not be plucked while laying, as
it is impossible for them to moult
artiicially and produce strong eggs at
the same time. If the feathers are
ripe they will come easily and are dry
at the quill end. If soft and bloody,
they must be left for some time
longer.
Geese usually sell best at the Christ
mas holidays. and not at Thanksgiv-
ing, as many suppose. The demand
for them is greater in the colder
weather. The Irish and Germans are
the largest consumers of geese in this
country. Before marketing geese
must be fattened. This process will
occupy from two to three weeks. They
should be put in a darkened room,
with sufficient light for them to see to
eat, and be given all the oats and corn
meal they can consume. They must
not be separated like fowls. as they are
very sociable and pine away if kept in
solitude. AS soon as the desire for
food slackens, they should be killed,
as they are as fat as they will get and
will lose flesh instead of gaining it
n. Y. World.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-07-18
AGRICULTURAL HINTS.
ABOUT GOOSE RAISING.
The Most Profitable Varieties and How tD
Rear and Eatten.

The Most Profitable Varieties and How n
Rear and Fatten.
Geese as an article of food are more
highly esteemed in Europe than in this
country, where the turkey occupies
first place in our affections. Neverthe-
less, the juicy meat is most toothsome,
and larger demand for it might
readily be developed. Under suitable
profitable. If given the range of
good pasture, with plenty of water,
they need less care and attention than
turkeys or chickens. They are hardy,
easily raised and less subject to lice,
while their food is less expensive.
Their feathers should pay the expense
of their keep, the returns from the
birds themselves being clear profit
The Toulouse and the Embden are
the best known breeds of geese, and
there is more money in raising them
than in the small mongrel stock often
seen, as they produce twice as much
meat and feathers and fatten more
readily for market. The Toulouse are
the largest geese known. They have
gray plumage and are quiet and gentle
in disposition.
the Embdens are pure white, a cir
cumstance which causes them to be
preferred by many. They are some
what smaller than the Toulouse and
their plumage is more compact. A
good cross for the market is a Tou-
louise gander and Embden goose.
Geese begin to lay when about a year
old. The gander is best for breeding
purposes after his second year, and he
will remain in vigor for several sea-
sons. Old geese make better mothers
than young ones and should be kept
FOR breeding and laying. When first
commencing to lay, geese are apt to be
irregular, but as they mature they will
lay regularly and give litter of if
seen or twenty eggs before attempting
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-07-18

You can carry the
little vial of Doctor
Pierce's Pleasant Pei
lets right in he vest
pocket of your dress
suit, and It will not
make even a little
lump. The " Pellets !"
are SO small that AZ to
"a of them go in a vial
scarcely more than an
inch long, and as big
round as a lead pencil.
They cure coust;pa-
ton.
One Pellet" is a
laxative two q mild
cathartic. One taken
after dinner will slim
ulate digestive action
and palliate the effects
of oxer-eating. They
act with gentle eff
cheney on stomach,
liver and bowels.
They don't do the
work TIL e m s selves.
They simply stimulate
the natural action of
ID e organs tn e m
selves.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-07-18
MY JENNY.

Ny Jenny hasn't penny
SIt that matters not to ma:
She mas two fine eyes,
As soft as Ehe skies,
And deep as the tranquil sea
There's nothing of art
In her true-blue heart:
Sae's Just like a morn in MAY
Wnen the young years song
Is tripping along,
And winter is far away.
My Jenny hasn't a penny
her dress is a gingham gown:
You wouldn't look at
Her old felt hat
And her shoes are all run down.
She hasn't glove
On her hands: but love
Has dressed them with many a kiss:
And we envy none
Meath the rolling sun,
In a fine old world like this.
My Jenny hasn't a penny
TIE truth Is, neither have II
We're burdened with health
But not with the wealth
That makes our poor neighbors sigh.
We never need groan
With holding our own,
For our own is as light as air;
But from spring to spring
We whistle and sing
It's folly to care for care,
John Ernest Mccain. il McClure's Maya
zine.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-07-18

lin Philadelphia the first bicycle
luncheon was given several weeks
ago and now they are the rage.
The first one was the conception of .
Broad street girl. She had learned to
ride recently, and when her papa had
just purchased handsome wheel for
her she was very proud of it and she
accordingly invited several of her
friends to lunch with her and see tho
bike" The table was spread with
triangular napkins. which made its
round top appear like bicycle wheel.
The center piece was bicycle model
supporting some flowers. There were
other evidences of the presence of .
bicycle girl about the house.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-07-18
Proper Food for Chickens.

Chickens FED or An exclusive corn
diet will not make satisfactory de-
yelopment, particularly of feathers
The bones of chickens fed on a nitro
geneous ration are fifty per cent.
stronger than those fed on a carbona-
cious ration. Hens fed on corn, while
not suffering in general health, be-
come sluggish and deposit large masses
of fat in the internal organs The
flesh OF nitrogeneous-fed fowls con-
tains more albuminoids and less fat
than those fed on carbonaceous ra-
ton. is darker colored. iuicier and ten.
dereE.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-07-18
Honesty the Best Policy.

eyes" sighed the virtuous grocer. ''is
Is really too bad" The honest blood
coursed through his veins and lit up his
kindly face. He bent down and looked
into basket intently, while a sudden
spasm passed over him. YES" he re-
peated, lit is too bad" and he picked
the egg out of the basket marked thirty
cents. and gently dropped it among
those for twenty-fve.-Truth
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-07-18
Rye, $50 nusHE1.s PER AcRE.

Do you know Winter Rye is one of the
best paying crops to plant? Well it is.
Big yields are sure when you plant
Salzer's Monster Rye. That is the uni
versa1 verdict Winter Wheat from 20
to 60 bushels Lots of grasses and
clovers for fall seeding. Catalogue and
samples of Rye, Winter Wheat and
Crimson Clover free if you cut this out
and send it to the John A. Salzer Seed
Co., La Crosse, Wis tKl
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-07-18
LIVESTOCK NOTES.

Don't allow the cows to be driven by
dogs.
SAVE the heifer calves from the best
mixers
Do NOT forget the calves in the ''back
lot" They need shade and water.
If the weather is dry and hot in your
section-all the more reason the hogs
and other stock should be provided
with shade.
Do NOT be SO unwise as to grow only
the frame of hog this summer. Have
some meat on it, then it will be an easy
matter to lay on the fat this fall
MIDDLINGs or shorts, with the house
Stops, will help out the hog pasture.
These with plenty of pure water and
free access to salt and ashes ought to
give you healthy hogs and cheap pork.
Western Rural
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-07-18
No Longer q Crime.

Tourist lin Oklahoma)-H are
they?
Allali Ike-Cheap? They are so
blamed cheap that when we capture a
horse-thief we send him to the lunatic
asylum instead of lynchin' him.-Puck.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-07-18
A BaRpiDe in Pain

Our George is very tender-hearted, SO
when he saw a bagpipe for the first
time the other day he cried out: ''Oh.
mamma, that man is squeezing some
thing under his arm and is hurting it
awfully. can hear it scream. "-Popu-
lar Educator.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-07-18
Old Heads and Young Hearts

You sometimes see conjoined in elderly in>
dividuals, but seldom behold an old man or
woman as exempt from infirmities Az in
youth But these infirmities may be miti-
gated in great measure by the daily and reg
ular use Of Hostetter's Stomach Bitters, an
invieorant, anti-rheumatic and sustaining
medicine Of the highest order, which also
removes dyspepsia, constipation, biliousness
and kidney trouble. 1t is adapted to tho
use of the most delicate and feeble.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-07-18

Ammonia is said to have been first
analysed by Joseph Priestly. in 177a
The substance was well known to the
alchemists. and by them was assigned
many remarkable powers Its pun
gency caused it to be regarded with
much superstition.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-07-18
Breed for Eggs or Meat.

Hens afford profit from eggs and
flesh, and yet they excel, according to
the breed used. in either direction. He
who wishes to make eggs speciality
should pay but very little attention to
the market qualities of the breed,
while those who wish to raise the best
birds for the market should make eggs
a secondary matter. 1t should be the
aim to secure both, if possible. but no
breed combines in itself all the re-
quirements for eggs and flesh. If we
secure breed that comes up to such a
standard it may be lacking in some
other direction. perhaps tender when
young and not hardy. Always. how.
ever, have definite object in view.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-07-18
For RumanIty,s Sake.

Young Man tbcastfully)-I am going
to cross the Atlantic in this twenty-foot
boat. with no companion but this dog
Good-by. friends
Humane Oficer-I mxst stop You, sir!
"Stop me? And what for, pray?"
Humanity
Humanity! Haven't I a right to risk
my life If II
so, that's all right; but must inter
fere. The dog can't go!'-Cleveland
Plain Dealer
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-07-18
A Born Detective.

Little JOHNNY know what the
baby is goin' to be wen he grows up.
He's goin' to be detective.
Mother-Of all things! Because he's
SO smart?
Little Johnny-No'm. Because he
never sleeps.-N. Y. Weekly.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-07-18
Why He Logged HIs Eat,

Why He Loved His Father.
(Which do you love most, your papa
or your mamma?"
Little Charlie-I love papa most.
Charles Mother-Why, Charlie, I am
surprised at you; thought you loved
me most.
Chariie-Can't help it, mamma; we
men have to hold together.-Jewish
Times and Observer.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-07-18
An Important Subject.

Miss Bricl1row-Is that lady a new
boardcr?
rented quiet room here to work in.
She is writing book on ''How to Bring
Up Children"
''Why doesn't she write at home?"
"Too noisy. She has children.
Y. Weekly.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-07-18
Depended On Circumstances.

Bass-And OF which variety is your
wife. the clinging-vine or the self-as-
sertive?
CASA little of both. When she
wants new dress or new bonnet she
generally begins in the clinging-vine
role; if that doesn't bring the money
then she changes TO the self-assertive;
and-well-she invariably gets the
dress or the bonnet.-Boston Tran
script.