Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1895-08-03
ponr.s AT SUMMER RESORTS

poNT's At SUMMER RESORTS
Advice Intended Especially for the Benefit
OF Men.
When starting for the resort which
you intend to honor with your pres
ence be sure that you have ut least
eight trunks You may find II difficult
to I'LL them all, but your wife may be
counted on to assist you, and by TAX.
ing along winter ulster and hall
rug or two II can be managed. The
surplus baggage will cost you trifie
more for transportation, but the extra
expenditure Is fully justified by the
sensation your arrival will produce.
As for the porters, just announce to
them carelcssly that You will see them
later; this sayos wear and tear on your
trunks and. Ekides, gives the porters
something to live for.
1t is probable that you will discover,
shortly after your arrival, something
that displeases you, which necessitates
what is technically known rs com
plant" To complain Is one thing
but TO complain we'll requires study.
Always approach the Office shortly
after dinner. when the lobby Is well
filed; wear calm hut panied express
sion; leun over the desk contidentiaily
and speak as loud rs possible-this
pleases the clerk. BE sure TO compare
the occurrence OF the displeasing affair
to the excellent management of the ho-
tel Mt which you put up the previous
summer. and do not neglect to threaten
to give up your rooms ut the end OF the
week IL the thing occurs again Above
all keep your voice raised: the rest OF
the guests will lie interested. After
placing the clerk in state OF nervous
prostration. saunter carelessly away
with the final request to "have 1t at
tended tn Immediately" This never
fails of effect.
IL Won have your own horses and
coachmau with You, 1t Is advisable TO
make the fact known. II the office Is
connected with the stables by tele-
phone. ask permission to give your
own order. DO it In this manner:
Ring the bell violently: when you have
attracted attention. say, in voice suf-
fici, ntlv loud to he heard outside on
the veranda: "llello! What? Hello,
hcl. send Mr. Snobleigh's man to the
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Is that you,
James? What? Well, this is MIR.
Snobleigh. Put the bays in the surrey,
james, and bring them around right
away. And. James, put in the heavy
robes And. James, my daughter will
want the gray in Stanhopc at four
sharp. What? Yes, the Stanhope, four
sharp. That's all" Ding. ding.
1t is advisable to emphasize your So
cial prominence by retiring to the bill
lard room Immediately after dinner,
in ease there Is only one billiard table,
and holding possession of the same
throughout the evening. This will in
sure YOU the respect of your less for
tunatc acquaintances, and also perfect
them in that greatest Of oil virtues,
patience.
You will have your bill placed among
your mail at the end of each week.
When calling for the latter, sort 1t over
before leaving the office. and return
the bill with the nonchalant: Never
mind that now; just place 1t back in
the box, will you?" BY doing this for
several days you will gain the love and
esteem of the management.
Audible remarks derogatory to the
fish or game are very telling. and stamp
You mt once as connoisseur. The fact
that they are excellent need not deter
you from stating them to he vile. New
err let day pass without sending back
the soup or game. Remark succinctly
to the rest of the table that not one
chef in hundred knows how to roast
q bird. In this way you will soon ac-
quire the reputation of an epicure.
1t Is an excellent idea to drop into
the managers private Office as often as
once in every week for little talk. he
careful to select time when you know
him to be busy; never mind II he APP
pears to be disturbed; your visit will
afford him needed rest from the cares
and worry of his business. Open the
conversation by observing jovially that
sit must lie quite trick to look after
a house of this size" lie will appre-
ciate this remark for its refreshing
originality. But should his counte-
nance still remain unamiable. face
tiously add that you suppose he will be
o rich man by the end of the season at
the prices he is getting" After letting
drop few gems of advice regarding
the improvement OF the cuisine, hand.
him cigar and retire gracefully, after
promising to look in again in day or
so.-Life.