davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01

The following is genuine production
of a school boy ten years of age. 1t is
worth preserving:
Dear Nal wright to tell you am
very retched and my chilblains is worse
again. l have not made any progress,
and do not think l shall. l am very
sorry to be so much expense, but l do
not think this schulz is very good, one
Of the fellows has taken the crown of
my new hat for a target, he has now
burrowed my watch to make a water
wheel with the works, but it won't act.
Me and him have tried to put the works
back. but we think some of the wheels
is missing, as they won't fit, i hope Ma
tilda's cold is better, am glad she is
not at schulz.
81 think have got consumption. the
boys at this place are not gentlemanly,
but of course you did not know that
when you sent me here, i will try not
to get bad habits. The trousers have
worn out at the knees, think the tailor
must have cheated you, the buttons
have come off and they are loose at the
back i don't think the food is good.
but should not mind if was stronger,
the peace of meat l send you is off the
beef we had on Sunday, but on the 9th
er days it is more stringay. there are
black beadleS in the kitchen and some
times they cook them in the dinner.
which can't be holesome wen you are
not strong.
Dear Ma, l hope you and Pa are
we'll anC do not mind my being so I'M
comforta BILE, because do not think I'll
last long, please send me some more
money, as owe pence. if you cannot
spare it / think l can burrow it of a
boy who is going to leave at the half
quarter. and then he won't ask for it
back again, but perhaps you would not
like me to be under obligation to his
parents, did not mention it, or / dare
say you would have put it down in the
bill. Your loving but retched son.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01
What Do We Weigh =?

A French doctor has pointed out that
several fallacies are common with re-
gard to the weight of the human body.
The man who congra tulates himself on
his gain of several pounds in weight
over a given period may have no cause
for rejoicing, for he may be under a
delusion. Very few people. says this
French investigator, have any correct
idea of their own weight AS a rule,
the correctness of his scale may be
doubted, the weight of the clothing not
taken into account, the time which has
elapsed since eating, etc.
AS matter of fact, the weight of the
body is continuously changing, owing
the innumerable influences. On a warm
day after breakfast a man will lose
more than third of a pound per hour
Seventy per cent OF the body consists
of water, and thus its weight must vary
with the Transportation of moisture.
Therefore the differences drawn from
the loss or gain of a pound or two may
be miStrusted. Fluctuations of a few
ounces per day are a sign that the body
is in healthy State.-Chambers' Jour
nal
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01

The verdict of murder in the second
degree" rendered against Joseph Spath
at New York was simply absurd. The
man tried to kill another wholly with
out provocation, and killed instead a
third person. If there is any law of
homicide at all in the State he was
guilty Of murder in the first degree
The Recorder in his charge, occupying
an hour and a half, made this point SO
clear that even a stupid juryman must
have understood that the prisoner was
either guilty of murder in the first de-
gree or not guilty of any crime what
ever. The verdict is doubtless what is
called compromise" one, one by
which jurymen convinced Of a murder
ers guilt shirk the responsibility OF
bringing in verdict which will con
denim a man to death, by stultifyine
themselves
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01
no nollere athletic world is M

The college athletic world is now agi-
tated by so many conflicting fine points
of honor that it begins to look as if in
tercollegiate contests might soon lapse
altogether through the inability of one
college to find another with which it
can "honorably" compete. Yale can
not play Harvard unless Harvard alb
jectly apologies for ever having init
mated that Hinkey was not a perfect
gentleman. Harvard thereupon has to
drop all contests with Yale and take up
with Cornell. Cornell already had a
GOODNESS with Yale, and now, of course
must look upon her as mortal enemy.
Princeton bristles up at Pennsylvania,
and as for the relation of Pennsylvania
to both Princeton and Yale, they are
strained much beyond the breaking
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01
A Trained Cat.

DR.. Samuel Hopper, of Bound Brook.
n. j. has cat that is the talk of the
town. 1t is large tiger-marked tom of
pugnacious disposition and very b.
hemian habits, and the doctor has
taught it to hold tirecrackers in its
teeth while they are exploded. He says
it took considerable patience to accom-
plish this result, but that, now the cat
has become accustomed to the noise.
it comes and begs for firecrackers every
evening. DR.. Hopper, by the way, is
the physician whose trained rabbits
keep his grounds clear Of the neighbors'
chickens and protect the flower beds
from their attacks
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01
ne kindly and liberal United States

The kindly and liberal United States
Government, which pays ambassadors
S17,5OO a year for doing nothing, is in
need of an assistant in it's bureau of
animal industry. The lucky appointee
must be able to translate technical
French and German and must have
scientific knowledge of chemistry, phy-
siology, bacteriology, microscopy and
histology. If fortunate enough to ac-
uuire this desirable office he will re-
ceiye the muniticent salary Of 1,2O0 a
wear and the worst of it is that prob
ably a qualified man, can be found to
take the place for the beggarly pay.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01

point. The coaches and the captains
are filling the papers with complaints
Of each other and with explanations
about what "self-respect" compels a
college athlete to do or not to do. Don
Quixote, or possibly Sir Lucius O'Trib-
ger, might thread his way through all
this maze of the college code Of honor.
One thing is clear, however, that ath-
letics fully deserve all the praise they
have received for making their devo-
tees models of courtesy, good fellow
snip and manliness.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01

Chicago's way of Introducing cleo
tricity as the motive power on elevated
railroads is to adopt it, make contracts,
put them through and let it whiz! New
York's way. as illustrated by the Gould
Sage management, is to watch eX-
periments" and keep on running the
noisy, dirty and Anticipated locomo-
tiyes. second elevated line in the
Western metropolis has closed a con-
tract for an electrical plant, the first
one being in successful operation.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01

BY the death of Prof. Huxley Eng
land has lost or of her greatest in
uuirers. HuXley's name will stand
with those of Tyndall, Darwin and
Spencer at the head of English science
of our generation. His views on the
relations of science to religion and his
attacks on revealed religion caused
endless controversy, which has been
oftentimes renewed during the publ
cation of his collected works. But his
true fame was based on his works as a
scientist pure and simple, and as such
he will be honored in the annals of sci
entific research and literature.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01
WHAT SENTIMENT is.
An Orator Gives a Clear Analysis Be-
fore the Lime Kiln Club.

An Orator Gives a Clear Analysis Be-
fore the Lime Kiln Club.
At the last session of the Lime Kiln
Club, Brother Gardner introduced as
the speaker of the evening Hon. Higgin-
bottom Lawless, Of Mississippi, who
addressed the club on Sentiment. Hon.
Lawless, after mounting the platform
like steer climbing a side hill, bowed
RIGHT and left in response to the APP
plause. and quietly began:
MY frens, l cannot dispresS de pleas
IRE an gratificashun which feel to fin
myself standin' heah under de sacred
shingles of Paradise Hall. l would
rather stan heah dan be buried under
a $4,000 monument. De subjick OBJ
nv address am Sentiment. What am
sentiment? What do we git it, an
what am it WORT by the pound when de
market am not oberstocked? l answer
dat sentiment am sort O. 'lasSes an
mush surroundin' de heart. In some
cases it hardens up an turns to stun,
while in oders it ,hins out until the
heart fairly floots in pond O. sweet
ness. (Applause.) Sentiment has con-
siderabull to do wild cherry ackshun in
our eberyday lift. 1t am bizness when
you start out to borry a pan of -four
or basket OBJ taters. 1t am sentiment
dat causes a naybur to lend, instead
of demandin' spot cash.
'Bizness acktuates de lazy an de
shiftless to sot out an beg cold vittles
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01
GOOD-BY TO STEAM.
Electricity Taking Its Place in Nov.
ing Passenger and Freight Trains

Electricity Taking It's Place in Nov
ing Passenger and Freight Trains
The steady whirr Of the worlds lars-
est electric locomotive is singing the
death song to steam on the Baltimore
and Ohio Railroad, and electric motors
q tritie smaller are joining in the song
on branch of the New York, New
Haven and Hartford Railroad at Nan
tasket Beach. And thus a new era in
railroading is being organized and that
which but a few years ago was but the
dream of inventors and electricians is
now reality; and so used to wonders
has the world become that this latest
gigantic stride in the science of rapid
transit will cause not the least surprise.
AS far as actual operation is concern
ed the New York, New Haven and
Hartford Railroad has the lead, al
though the line upon which the new
electric locomotives have just been put
in operation is only seven miles long
and of an experimental nature. On
the other hand the Baltimore and Ohio,
which will be but few days behind it's
predecessor in point of operation, will
give it's three Cotton electric locomo-
tives such practical work to do that the
test will be perfect one. The three
giant motors which the Baltimore and
Ohio will use to propel both freight and
passenger trains through it's new tunnel
under the city Of Baltimore are the
largest in the world The tests which
have been made With the one locomo-
tive which is already completed have
shown that it's power is in excess of
that Of a steam engine Of the same
weight. These locomotives are the tri-
umph Of the age, for they demonstrate
beyond a doubt that electric traction
for railroads now run by steam is prac-
ticable.
The trolley system is employed for
conveying the current to the motors,
but the arrangement of the trolley
shoe is different than has ever been
made before. The locomotive itself is
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01
Combustion.

When a subtance combines with OK
ygen heat is evolved, and if the UNION
is rapid and fussy light may be emit
ted as well. The burning of candle
seems to be very different thing from
the rusting of a nail; but in truth tne
latter process is simply a mild and di'
atory species of combustion. 1t is real
~ little conf1agration, though it does
not afford sufficient heat to SINCE tne
wings Of a moth Or sufficient illumlna'
ton to enable one to read a line.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01

sentiment am all solid. If she am only
average, an in debt fur her las spring
hat, de sentiment am purity thin an
won last longer dan de first bill fur
meat comes in.
"My frens, sentiment writes poetry
wild one ham an tans de backs oh
chill'en wild de oder. 1t guides our
thoughts to frens ober de sea, an sends
ole clothes to relashuns in Wisconsin.
1t makes us shed tears fur de dead, an
Wit warns us to cut de undertaker's
bill down 20 per cent. Sentiment tells
us to luv our feller-men, an yit whis-
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01

an ole clothes an dimes an quarters.
Sentiment acktuates women to shed
huff to loaf on fur mother month. When
we have a kickin' boss our sentiment
am 'pealed to. We argy dat de salty
of our loved ones requires us to trade
dat anamile off to some preacher who
wants a PERFECTLY reliable boss. OATS
one kind of sentiment. When we luv
we reveal another phase of sentiment.
If de gal am hign-toned an rich de
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01

you consider the means by which the
pictures are made, the result is sur
prisingly good
Some amusement may be found in try
ing to make them, and if successful.
an effort to represent other people
might have an equally good result
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01

pers to us to lock our doahs an place
torpedoes in our hen roosts. 1 have
bin lookin' into de matter fur de las As
vars, an / has cum to Gle conclusion
dat it was wise thing to purvide de
human race wild sentiment. If it had
bin lef' out by any accident in de mixin'
got a bid if put up at aucshun along
with lot oh fence posts"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01

Probably the Spanish authorities are
correct in their assertion that the Cuban
insurgents are doing some robust lying.
The fact, however, that the rebellion
sticks, and that where there is any
fighting at all the rebels do the attack
ing, proves that Spain is hard pressed.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01

And now Hetty Green is suddenly
devout. She says, says Hetty: Il am
going to get together all the religious
persons | can and go to some quiet
place where we can pray that my lltl-
cations with MI Darling may be ended
during the next twenty years"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01
Easily Cured.

The most careful persons are likely to
catch cold in their chests that will
extend swiftly to the lungs if not at
tended to. 1t usually makes its pres
ence known by CONSTRUCTED sensation
under the breast bone, where the flesh
is thinnest. When person experiences
this feeling he can rest assured he can
procure almost instant relief by drink
ing cup of water as hot $ he can bear
to take in the mouth and to swallow.
There is no better medicine in the world
to arrest the progress of a cold than hot
water, and. besides it's effect upon the
stomach and the system generally. is
beneficial in the highest degree. And
in sore throat the same remedy will be
found almost specific.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01

There is 'let up in the campaign
to "mend or end" the Lords. However,
a change in the constitution of the sec
ond chamber will have to be made in
the near future, but second chamber
of some sort will remain. The Radical
crusade for a single-branch parliament
cannot succeed.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01

The republics Of Central America
have got together on one point, and that
is to make common cause against any
more such ultimatums as the one re-
Gently forced on Nicaragua by the Brit
ish navy. The Central Americans may
have their little revolutions but do not
propose to be held up habitually for
the benefit of Europe.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01

The position of President Of the Unit
ed States involves many peculiar trials
and Affections Somebody has written
to Mr. Cleveland to suggest the name
of Gladys Gwendolen for his youngest
daughter
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01

of indefinite representation Of various
objects, but just now, in Paris, it is
said to be fad to make actual por-
traits of well-known men.
Here, for example, is representa-
ton of Bismarck and also one of Glad
stone. The likeness is hardly equal to
that noticed in photograph, but when
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01

Public HOusekeeper and Preacher
A London paper says that for the last
eighteen years the Rev. Osbert Nor
daunt, an Anglican clergyman, has
been the proprietor Of the public house
at Hampton Lucy, in WarwickshiTe|
When entering his parish he had to de
eide between one of two courses-eithd
to abolish the public house altogether
and thus leave the parishioners to pro
cure Indifferent Or bad drink at the
nearest point or through the grocer, o.
try personally the experiment of sup
plying the community with good
wholesome beer at a properly conducted
establishment under the charge Of q
salaried manager, where the sale Of
intoxicants to those who had ALREADY
had enough was prohibited. He cour
ageously took the latter course, in spite
Of the opposition and criticism he coul1
not hope to escape when entering upon
such an unclerical undertaking. Mt
Mordaunt showed further his eXcellen
common sense by making the bushes
pay a reasonable amount, the proilc
being devoted to local charities AM
works, according to the Scandinavia
system. The results, it is claimed, haV
thoroughly justified the experiment
The inhabitants Of Hampton Lucy Oh
tain good and reasonably priced BEEF
drunkenness is prevented, and the pal
ish benefited by the proceeds of the I'd
dertaking.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01

II can't have whistling at the tape'
Mr.. Slocum." said the boarding-house
keeper. Il thought you said YESTERDAY
YOU liked to hear a man whistle at n.S
work z" replied the boarder, as he maue
another Intellectual attempt at cut'lns
his piece of beefsteak. Yonkers States
nan.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01

An Englishman has willed Henry
George $4,000. AS the last legacy to
the single-tax champion cost more than
it's face value to defend, he may look
on this new benefaction as gift of
the Greeks.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01
An Old TIifchoat.

What is asserted to be the Oldest life
boat in existence is preserved at South
Shields as valued relic. 1t was built
in 1880 and during more than fifty
years Of active service was instrument
al in saving 1923 persons.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01

The War Department advertises for
$4,000 yards of red tape. Why doesn't
it borrow what it wants from the other
departments?
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01
TRICK ON A DRUMMrp
The Boys Filled His Hand Gro
with Turpentine

It was into the small town of :,
nan, Georgia, several years ago
after the invention of chemical
grenades for extinguishing fires
young man strolled with wallis.
of these globes to sell to the good
pie of the village. Eyes, sir" he tola
crowd that gathered around hin,
half a dozen Of these will pnt -,
whole house afire. The grandos,
vention of the age. In few momo,'
gentlemen, / shall get numbers of
goods boxes, set them afire, and -
show you the workings of this remss
able fire eXtinguiSher" Now "
nan is famed the world over for N.
tuteness of its practical jokers III
valise had been left under tros
the public square While the drumn
went for the dry goods boxes. Anal
of genius took possession of some M
in the crowd. He WHISPERED -
friend, the friend laughed incontipuns
and ran over to the drug store. Comm
back presently with four-g gallon ~
of turDentine. The grenades Wa,
snatched from the valise, uncorEas
and filed as fast as these wicked ma
could pour the turpentine into tban
They had just completed their tai
when the exhibitor returned on dr.,
piled high with shoe boxes.
"Now, gentlemen" he said with
busy air, lust be patient and wen Sta,
the circus" 1t was a difficult main
for the crowd to be patient, but the q,
hiDitor came to the conclusion III,
there never was such an interesta
gathering.
The boxes were heaped high, sns,
was piled about them, and the han
grenade man wiped his brow of fl
dampness of ardor and touched
match.
NO." he said, mot yet. Wait till 81
gets little higher. l want to give 70
a good test"
"Now, look out, everybody!' be shOu
ed, taking up one of the grenades an
hurting it into the midst Of the Seethr
flames. 1t struck, broke, and gre
flame shot up twenty feet into the air.
"That's the way she acts sometimes
said the fire eXtinguisher. at general
+oJyoc tbroo ~, fo11r''
With that he seized a half dozen al
hurled them in quick succession intOt
fire. Seldom, if ever, was there
large and we'll fec conflagration.
exhibitor, in frenzy, threw his emit
stock into the midst of the boxes, a
when he had completed the task a
stood pale, chagrined and aghast
great shout went up from the Newm;
ties, and one of the best practical jol
for which the town is famous had be
successfully performed. Shortly af
this an interview took place betwt
the drummer and his firm: The dru
mer told the firm candidly that he
not propose to work for set of damn
rascals; the firm told the drummer t
he was poor fool-and the drum
took up other lines of goods.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01
TRY TO MAKE THEM.

Ingenious People Now Make Portraits
by Hand Shadows.
The art of making shadow pictures
by peculiar arrangement of the hands
has heretofore been confined to sort
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01

J Reary probably hasn't stayed out
many nights up there, after all; there is
only one night year where he is.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01

The wicked get fly when no man
purSueth.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01
PREACHER
Ray York, of Missouri, the Youngest
Evangelist in the World.

Missouri boasts of 13-year-old evan
gelist named Ray Roy, who is meeting
with signal success as a preacher. kay
wears knee pants and looks younger
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01

We have noticed that no one desires
to try Christian science on smallpox.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-08-01
EAGLE RIVER REVIEW.
EAGLE RIVER, WIS.

0. B. MOON. Editor and Proprietor