The Washington times., 1895-01-02
THE DYING GAG.

There was an affecting scene on the stage
of a New York theater the other night-a
scene invisible 10 the audiencs aud not down
on the bills, but one far more touching aud
pathetic than anything enacted before the
footlights that night althoughii was q min
strel company that gave the entertainment.
II was a wild clustering night, and the
wind howled mournfully around the street
corners, binding the pedestrians with the
clouds OF dust that caught UP ftfrom the gut
ters and hurled into their aces
Old man Sweeney. the stage doorkeeper,
doing in his little glazed box, was awak-
ened by a sudden gust that banged open the
stage door and then went howTlng along the
corridor. almost eXtinguishin4 the gas iets
and making the Minis rel7 shiver in their
dressing-rooms.
What You here to-night?'' exclaimed
old man Sweeney, rs frail figure, mufiied
up in huge ulster. staggered through the
doorway and stood leaning against the wall
trying TO catch lis breath.
YES; | felt that | couldn't stay away from
the foot.ights tonight. They toll me im-oid
and worn out and had bette: take a rest, but
III 90 on till [ drop" and with a hollow
cough the Old Gag plodded slowly down the
dim and dragchty corridor and sank wearily
on Il sofa in the big dressing room where the
/ other Gags and Conundrums were awaiting
their cues.
Poor OLD ieiow!" said one of them sadly.
| He can't hold out much longer"
''le ought not TO go on except at matt
nees. replied another veteran, who was
! standing in front of the mirror trimming his
! long, siverY beard, and Just then an attend
| ant came in with several basins OF Cruel and
| the old Jests tucked napkins under their
chins and sat down to partake Of Il little
Dourishment before going on.
| The bell tinkled and the entertainment be-
| gan. One after the other the Jokes and CO.
| nundrums heard their cues, went on, and re-
| turned 10 the dressing room, for they all had
! TO so on again in the afterpiece The house was
| crowded to the dome, aud there was scarcely
| dry eye IN the yasI audience as one alter the
other OF the old Quips and Jests tnat had
| been treasured household words in many a
| family came on and then disappeared to make
| room for others of Their kind
! As the evening wore on the whisper ran
through the theater that the Old Gag was GO
ing on that night perhaps for the last time.
and many an eye grew dim, many a pulse
| beat quicker at the thought OF listening once
more 10 that hoary Jest about whose head
| clustered so many sacred memories.
Meanwhile the Old Gag was sitting in the
| corner of the dressing-room, his head bowed
on his breast, his Cruel untasted on the tray
before MIN. The other Gags came and Went
| but he Needed them not His thoughts were
|
his early struggles for fame, and of his friends
| and companions of years ago. Where are
| they nows he asked himself sadly '.SomC
are wanderers on the face Of the earth il
comic operas. Two OF them found ignoblt
graves in the Tourist Company. Others are
| sleeping beneath the daises in Harper.s 'Edi
| tors Drawer :"
You're called sr!''
The Old Gag aYoke from his reyerie anG
| started TO his feet with something OF the old
time fire flashing in his eye Throwing aside
| his heavy ulster he staggered to the entrance
and stood there patiently waiting for his cue
You're hardly strong enough to go on to
| night" said Merry Jest, touching hin
kindly on the arm, but the gray-bearded one
| shook him OFF, saying hoarsely:
| Let be. Let be. / must read those old
lines once more-it may be for the last
time
And now a solemn hush fell upon the vast
audience as q sad-faced minstrel. in tear
| compelling accents, spoke the most pathetic
words in all the literature of minstrelsy:
And so you say, Mr.. johnson, that all the
people on the ship were perishing OF hunger
| and yet you We're eating fried eggs. How dc
/ you account for that?" ste
For moment a deathlike silence prevailed
Then the Old Gag stepped forward, and il
clear, ringing tones replieds II
The ship lay to aid got oMe.'
Wild, heart-rending sob game from the
audience and relieved the tension as the Ole
! Gag staggered back into rthe entrance anC
fell into the friendly arms that were waiting
10 receive him.
Sobbing Conumdrums bore him to coucl
in the dressing groom. Weeping Jokes strov,
in vain 10 bring back the spark of life to hi
inanimate form; bat all to 40 avail.
The Old Gag was dead. Literary Shop.
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