West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1895-05-02
CLEANING HOUSE.
nR. B0wSER APPEARS IN NEW
ROLE.
Ne Essays o. Cleaa House In a Day,
Bat A. usaai Ms Efforts Results
Nery DisastreusIy

oNercoat the other morning. II
wish you would drop this postal
card ia the box on the corner as
you 20 out."
'um - replied Mr.. Bowser as he
reserved it. "Who is Mrs. White
Of ls2 larkius aveuuoY"
81 want her 20 help me clean
house for three or four days"
"Clcan house, chs How many
times 10 you clean house m a year?'
"la che spring and fau. What's
che matter -
Mr.. Bowscr removed his hat and
gloves aud ovorooat ia very lolib
crate way aud then replied
1--WE don't want Mrs. White Of
l12 Larkius avenue TO assist ia
housecleaniug."
"Bat I-l-want'-
"And wo are not going 20 have
this house turned wrong side out
for couple Of weeks. Not being
very busy a. the Office. IN DO all
the work for you this forenoon.
"Why, no one can clean house in
half day"
Cant. eh? Wen see about that.
I'll get my old clothes on and show
you a trick or two about house.
cleaning. This idea Of fooling
around for a week or two is all
nonsense.
"Mr. Bowser, please listen TO
me" she pleaded. "All the fur.
niture must be rubbed over, tho
pictures taken down, tho woodwork
wiped, the carpets swept with salt
and the ceilings brushed. lt viii
take two women
cit will take two womon two
weeks" he interrupted, while a
man can do tho Same amount Of
work in two hours. It's all ia
knowing how TO get at IL. Even
my mother, whose spirit is now in
heaven. had no method in house
cleaning"
IL think wo'll let il go til
fall" stammered Mrs. Bowser.
"No. we won't, rll be with You
in five minutes, aud il wo don't
have this house shining like new
dollar from top to bottom before
noon Pm no hustler"
"But"-
"That will do, Mrs. Bowser; that
will do" he said as he turned on
her. 81 own this house. / run
this house. am the head Of this
family. was helping to clean
house before you had cut your drst
tooth. I'll be down in five minutes
and begin on the parlor."
When he came down, after got
ting into his old suit, the cook in
formed hIm that Mrs. Bowser had
run across the street TO see sick
neighbor, bnt that he could go
right ahead with his work. She
brought him up the stepladder. aud
as he stood it 10 the middle Of the
parlor and spat on bis hands aud
looked around he chucklcd
"I'll say thirty minutes 10 clean
this room opick spaa and give the
old lady q surprise party :"
lie seized the sofa and rushed 10
into the back parlor, followed by
the chairs and stand. and in seven
or eight minutoslhc floor was clean.
Then ho placed The stopladdcr 70
take down the first picture. ne
had just lifted the wire OF tho hook
when the ladder slipped. and thore
was n crash, and q smash, aud a
jingle which brought the cook mp
stairs TO find SIR. Bowscr lying in
a heap on the floor and to czclaim
"Goodness 20 mercy, but ]
thought the whole house had fallen
into the cellarl How did it hap.
/ pen Mr. Bowsor :"
lie slowly got up, looked from
the stepIadder 10 Tho floor and felt
Of tho back Of bis head, finally re-.
/ piled
al stepped of Bring me salt,
and broom, and a rag"
BY the exercise Of due caution
he got theother pictures down With.
ont accident. Tho girl brough, The
things and stopped for q moment
to say
NOBODY would ivor suspect that
yo knew how 20 clane house 60
beautifully Don't thom wiuder