The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1895-07-27
ghe adehita Badly Eagle Saturday Woruine Gully az 1885

counJeo on 70 assist yoa, ana oy tax
ing along winter ulster and hau
rug or two it can be managed. Inc
surplus baggage will cost you . tribe
more for transportation. but the extra
expenditure is fully justified by the
sensation your arrival will produce
As for the porters, r announce TO
them carelessly tlsat You Will see them
later: this saves wear and tear on your
trunks and, besides, gives the porters
something to live for.
1t is probable that you will discover,
shortly after your arrival, something
that displeases you, which necessitates
what is technically known as com
plant" To complain is one thing,
but to complain well requires study.
Always approach the Office shortly
after dinner, when the lobby is well
filed; wear a calm but panied express
sion; lean over the desk confdentiaiiy
and speak as loud as possiole-tnls
pleases the clerk. Be sure TO compare
the occurrence of the displeasing affair
to the excellent management of the ho-
tel at which you put up the previous
summer. and do not neglect to threaten
to give up your rooms at the end OF the
week if the thing occurs again Above
all keep your voice raised; the rest or
the guests will be interested. After
placing the clerk in state Of nervous
prostration, saunter carelessly away
with the final request to have it at.
tended to Immediately" This never
fails of effect.
If you have your own horses and
coachmau with you. it is advisable to
make the fact known. If the Office IS
connected with the stables by tele-
phone, ask permission to give your
own order. Do it in this manner:
Ring the bell violently; when you have
attracted attention, say, in a voice suf-
fciently loud to be heard outside on
the veranda: Hello! What? Hello,
hello! Send Mr.. Snobleigh's man to the
'phone-ah-er-hellol Is that you,
James? What? Well, this is Mr..
Snobleigh. Put the bays in the surrey,
James, and bring them around right
away. And, James, put in the heavy
robes And. James, my daughter will
want the gray in Stanhops at four
sharp. What? Yes, the Stanhope, four
sharp. That's all" Ding, ding.
1t is advisable to emphasize your So
cial prominence by retiring to the bill
lard room Immediately after dinner,
in case there is only one billiard table,
and holding possession of the same
throughout the evening. This will in
sure you the respect of your less for
tunate acquaintance, and also perfect
them in that greatest of all virtues,
patience.
You will have your bill placed among
your mail at the end of each week.
When calling for the latter, sort it over
before leaving the Office, and return
the bill with the nonchalant: Never
mind that now; just place it back in
the box, will your BY doing this for
several days you will gain the love and
esteem of the management
Audible remarks derogatory to the
fish or game are very telling, and stamp
you at once as a connoisseur. The fact
that they are excellent need not deter
you from stating them to be vile. New
er let day pass without sending back
the soup or game. Remark succinctly
to the rest of the table that not ono
chef in hundred knows how to roast
a bird. In this way you will soon -ac-