davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Birmingham age-herald., 1895-01-16
THE BIRD OF NOBILITY.
How the Swans of England's Peers Were
 Distinguished by Branding.

How the swans or EnEland's Peers Were
 Distinguished by Branding.
 Our English swan has long become private possession and one that in old times was highly prized. Great ecclesias- tics, the prior of Spalding or the abbot of Petersborough, rivaled noble earls Hunt ingdon or Leicester or Essex, in tho goodly focks which they maintained upon the marshy flats of the eastern districts. And in the west they were preserved with the same jealous care Richard III, just before his reign closed at the battles of Bosworth, directed a commission ito all manners shireffes eschetours, baillieffes, constables, swanneherdes and all having tho rule of freshe ryvers and waters in Somersetshire, especially in the fresho waters or ryvers of Merkmore, Cotmore, etc., that the king hath given all swannos In the said waters late appertenying to the Marquis Dorset and Sir Giles Dawbeney nowe in the kinges handles by reason of their forfeitures to my lord prive scale.
 The swan marks scratched upon the bills, by which wealthy owners dstin- guished their birds, form n study almost as curious as that of heraldry. Several manuscript volumes from the fourteenth century down to the seventeenth, are pro served i'll the British museum, recording the marks of various owners of all ranks up to the king and queen. The swan with two neoks, which may Do seen now and again on the sign of d riverside hostelry, is properly the swan with two necks, the special mark of the Vitners.
 The swans Of the Duke of Suffolk were marked sometimes with one nick of cres- cent form, sometimes with five parallel lines set in a square, like gridiron, while the Duke of Clarence's had two parallel lines, and tho Duke of Norfolk's had cer- tain devices like keys. Tho kings swans were distinguished sometimes by rudely drawn crown, as the proper mark of royal ty, sometimes by pair of swords for the ducby of Lancaster. Gentleman Maga. zine
Birmingham age-herald., 1895-01-16
THE COMBINATION CHAIR
Howard Fielding In @ Variety of
 Novel Attitudes.
He Sits on the Back of His Neck and ReclInes the Small of His Back With an Iron Foot-Rest for
 Pillow.
IcoPYRIGHr, 1894. l

The comic papers have lots of fun with the woman who buys things for her husband. She is not limited to the holiday season, but runs all the year around, like the sea bathing-suit pie lures in Truth. She is represented as squandering large sums of money. have written that sort of thing myself, and I remember distinctly now pleas ant it was to imagine man who could be wheedled, henpecked or otherwise defrauded of ten-dollar bill at break fast, dinner and supper. No woman can do that with me-till literary wood- saving commands a better price per cord. As matter of fact, don't be- lieye those stories, anyway. It's my opinion that the level-Feaded man vol untarily permits his wife to do the buy ing, and the other fellow, in these grasping days, hasn't anything to buy with
 A woman will go into ten stores and spend ten dollars, while a man will go into one store and spend ten dollars, after which he will accuse his wife of the shopping habit. It will be found almost every time that the woman has obtained the greatest amount for her
Birmingham age-herald., 1895-01-16
Very Tired Indeed.

It has remained for little girl in Brooklyn to nearly if not quite equal d famous witticism of Leigh Hunt. Of course she spoke in childish innocence, where the English essayist and wit used his ripened intellect.
 Hunt, in describing an exceedingly warm day, it will be remembered, spoke of it as one which tempted him ito strip off his flesh and sit in his bones. '
 The dear little Brooklyn miss had been romping and running all day. Toward nightfall her father met her. "Are you not very tired, little onof" he asked.
 "Oh, not so very tired, papa" she re- piled. Then in burst of confidence she whispered, "Only do feel as though I'd like to take my legs off and carry them awhile Nov York Horald.
Birmingham age-herald., 1895-01-16

money, for she at least has got the sat isfaction of feeling ill-will towards nine shop-keepers before the purchase and one afterwards, while the man, as a rule, has only the friendliest feeling toward the person who has taken his money. In order to illustrate how much woman can get for very small sum 1 have only to describe recent purchase of thing which, in the goodness of her heart, she pur- chased to promote my comfort and hap piness. The thing was advertised to do that, and she believed the advertise ment, which is what a man never. would have done.
 It couldn't have cost over thirty dol lars, even though it's merits were pre-. sented to the feminine mind by so agreeable and truthful villain as the salesman whom Maude had described to me. It is patent, adjustable, self acting, combination, reclining chair, with special arrangements for reading, writing and arithmetic; smoking, chew- ing and swearing; sleeping, dreaming and enjoying hallucinations of all kinds. In short, there is almost no limit to the number of things man can do in that chair, not to mention falling out of it, which is one of it's specialties. It is also a folding chair, and is so remarkable in this respect that it was sent to our house in a box no bigger than half medium-sized coffin.
 should never have known 1t was chair at all if the dealer had not put
 zs~. s~LN The pictures showed an elegant gentle man enjoying the delights of this chair. This person appeared in O great variety of attitudes, but he always looked com fortable and happy. I once saw a man in a suit of light-blue tights concealed by evening dress walk out on slack wire forty feet high and stand on one foot while he removed his pantaloons. He, too, looked comfortable and happy, but could not do it. My face would betray anxiety. That is what it did when Maude asked me to sit down in that chair. We had removed it from the box, and had set it upon its castors There was an uncertain and treacher- ous look about that chair which made me hesitate. However, Maude was watching me, and man never likes to exhibit cowardice in the presence of his wife.
 So sat down. Immediately the back of the chair fell down upon the floor, and the portion upon which my legs had rested stood up perfectly straight like the side of house. realized in an instant that I had at last found truly adjustable chair, and one that was self-acting to the verge of indis- erection. The accompanying circular had declared that person could as- sume attitudes in that chair which would be impossible in any other, and
Birmingham age-herald., 1895-01-16

why am writing this letter with my left hand. did not actually sacrifice any of my fingers, but some of them are now done up in cotton cloth, after being anointed with Stebbins' gelatinous furniture polish which Maude keeps in vaseline jar But anticipate.
 Having mastered the secret of the guillotine, investigated two big iron things, shaped like overgrown carpet tacks. They had left their mark in my scalp. I could not understand why they had been put exactly where one might be expected to lay his head. Maude suggested that they were in. tended to hold up pillow; and then suddenly she remembered. They were designed to hold up persons feet. had sat down in the chair wrong end foremost.
 After this discovery, progress became easy. Before the close of the day l was able to sit in the chair and stay there by holding on to the arms. Twenty four hours later could read in it, by selecting something of restful and soothing character, not calculated to make person jump. I am now able to write in it almost as well as William Shakespeare, and expect to catch up with some of the really frst-rate pen men by the end of the week.
 Yet, from literary point of view, there will always be something lack ing. Sitting in a chair which may stand you on your head at any moment is conducive to nervous style which offends against good taste. If were delineating the character of the mod ern woman as she appears in current
Birmingham age-herald., 1895-01-16
A Bust of Berod.

The imperial hermitage in St. Peters. burg has been enriched by valuable his torical and archaeological relic-viz, the bust of Herod the Great, the ruler of Judea in tho days of Jesus Christ This bust, says our St Petersburg correspondent, was discovered some years ago in Palestine by the Russian Arehimandrite Anthony, the late head of the Russian mission in Jerusalem, and has been pronounced by experts to be genuine and the only one of Herod existing in our times. This valu- able treasure has been bequeathed to the hermitage by the deceased archimandrite. London Chronicle.
Birmingham age-herald., 1895-01-16

fiction, could probably do quite we'll, for know just how she feels. I have a hysterical uncertainty while sitting in this chair which would make it easy for me to do and say things that are not characteristic of human beings who are actuatcd by reason.
 But for the quiet sort of work which want to do, shall dispense with this combination reading, writing and re- clining chair. I shall probably pack it up quietly and send it to an old gentle man who has mentioned Maude in his will. think he may find rest by means of this chair. narrowly escaped do- ing so, and he hasn't half the grip on this unquiet life that have.
 HOWARD FIELDING
Birmingham age-herald., 1895-01-16
TO SALLY IN EXPLANATION.

Oh, Sally, I've a notion that You wouldn't think me true, In spite of all the times I've sworn Fidelity to you, If you could sec how make love, In my impassioned way, To such q pretty Cambridge girl, And do it every dayl But, Sally, it's not fickleness That makes me seem untrue. l still affirm my heart belongs - Entirely to you. She's waitress at our table, and l worship at her feet Because know that if don't I'll get cold things to eat.
 Harvard Lampoon
Birmingham age-herald., 1895-01-16
Not In His Way.

''Is my hat in your wayP" inquired the sweet girl in tho parquet seat as she turned and spoke to the man behind.
 Not all. said tho man behind grump- fly as he surveyed her big hat and grabbed up his overcoat. My way lies toward the box office to get my seat changed. "-Chi- cago Record.
Birmingham age-herald., 1895-01-16

had proved it on the very first trial. The circular had promised novel sensa- tions, and certainly had never before experienced the pleasure of sitting on the back of my neck. Considering that the chair permitted a great variety of attitudes, all for one price, decided to try another. l therefore attempted a back somersault, but at the very start, my hand touched the hidden. machinery of the chair, and the part which supported my back rose to per- pendicular position. was in the at. titudo of man who has sat dswn in coal-hole and has failed to gonaA through. The human jackknife q
 exhibiting at metropolitan musey
 would have fou nd this attitude not
 together uncomfortable. but it did
 suit me. My hinges are somew
Birmingham age-herald., 1895-01-16

which appeared between the lines and faded again as the paper cooled The moral of this is that love will find way, and so long as chloride of copper in solu
 tion is to bo had advise every keeper of a girls school to toast all letters well be- fore sho delivers them. .-Wash fngton Post.
Birmingham age-herald., 1895-01-16

Walter Savage Landor married girl for her beauty, and after the charm wore of he found her shrow. He endured her tongue for a time, then turned over his property to her and left her.
Birmingham age-herald., 1895-01-16
Plain Talk.

From tho Cleveland Plaindealer.]
 "There are hundreds and thousands of people in the large cities and towns who cannot afford to pay the prices de- manoed for the best dairy and cream cry buffers. Oleomargarine is in every respect better and more healthful than country store butter. Give the middle class chance to place on their tables an artificial butter that looks like but ter, that tastes better than most dairy butter tastes, and is absolutely nutri- tious and healthful. Let there be fair ness in this matter, and a repeal of all prohibitive laws that work injury and injustice to a large number of people. ]" Silver Churn Butterine is prepared by superior methods under careful scien- tific supervision It is sold largely throughout the United States, and fas. tidious housekeepers proclaim it the best table article obtainable.
 Prepared Solely By
 ARMOUR PACKING CO, Kansas City. .. s. 4.
 H.CLINTON, AGENT, No. 5 N. 2Oth Street.
Birmingham age-herald., 1895-01-16

Minnehaha means Laughing Water." The Indian word is Minnerara, the Frenohmar, Hennepin, having mistaken the sound
Birmingham age-herald., 1895-01-16

Although on land clumsy animal, the seal is wonderfully quick in the water, and in fair race can generally catch al- most any fish.
Birmingham age-herald., 1895-01-16
The Reason.

The Author (to tho printer)-Why dc you not increase the wages of your com postors?
 The Printer (to the author)-Becauso since we are printing your sensational novel they are constantly falling asleep. Paris Revne Aucrdotique,
Birmingham age-herald., 1895-01-16

The translation of Potomac is ''Place of the Burning Pine," an allusion to grand council.
Birmingham age-herald., 1895-01-16
Who Took Pity on Him?

ChollyAIt wained so hard had to get under shelter.
 She-Who told you it was raining?- Tife
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1895-07-05

MoHANMED. TUE GREAT CoNQuERoR.
tiniani, Genoese captain, who led 500 of
his countrymen. In the fourth assault the
TURKS made breach, but the defenders
under the eye Of Constantine drove them
out and followed beyond the walls. The
emperor was so excited that he wanted to
ride through and Join the melee outside,
but the imperial suite and guard kept him
back.
The Turks succeeded in battering down
the main tower at the Roman gate at the
end of six weeks cannonade. In front of
another gate they rolled up an immense
wooden tower, armored with layers Of
| bulls hide. Secreted in the tower the
| Turkish aTchJrs shot down the Greeks by
| hundreds. Constantine and Justiniani
| trspplsd with these two evils in one night,
| ana TO the amazemcnt of the sultan his
| Wooden tower was burned to the ground
| with Greek fire thrown into it by men who
| climbed the outside walls with the nimble-
ness of squirrels, and new tower was run
up at the Roman gate in place of the one
thrown down.
On the 2Sth Of May, the eighth week of
the siege, tE5 fiery sultan gave the order for
"a grand assault the following day, but not
without summoning Constantine to sur
render under pain of the usual pillage and
massacre il the assault carried. Constan-
oine's advisers begged him to withdraw and
save his life, but to the sultan he said, 1--WE
are prepared 60 die here and to his friends,
II will die here with you" The sultan
promised kingdom to the first of his sol.
diers who should scale the walls and to the
rest license to piilage for three days. The
city's wealth, its silver, gold, silk and wo
mep-will be yours" he said; only the
bHifuings and walls will be reserved for til,
sultan"
The first assault of $4,000 men was re
pulsed in an hour, the bailled wretches
turning from death i'll front to nnd IL Oh
lance and sword points OF The Spahees anu
Janizaries ia the rear. A second line OF
nercenaries next advanced, ana cannon
bali tore out IA piece of the outer wall al
the Roman gate. The Turks rushed
through the breach, but were repulsed, anC
then second ball tore down sector
alongside the first. Through that column
of JaniZaries rushed and planted scaling
ladders on the inner wall. Constantine ant
Justiniani hurried to the breach, and the
wave of Turks was once more rolled back
Constantine cheered On his men, but un
luckily Justiniani was struck by bullel
! and turned to leave Constituting begged
him to stand, but Tor once the hero wa
deaf to the appeal.
| The Jauizaries saw the confusion in til,
Greek ranks and returned to the attack. \
giant named Has-an scaled the wall ant
died lighting munlully Tor the promised re
ward. Then Il cry arose that the Turk.
had entered the city by another gate, allt
the emperor, followed by IL band OF nobl
men, spurred on into another street to mt.
them. One by one they fell, and tine e.
peror, left alone, fought ON until lie WAS G.
down by some Of tine mob OF iuvad
Turks, who lutte knew their swords dra
the blood of the last emperor of tue Gree
sultan MUhaumed's dJugEticst fDumau
GLnEGE L. KIM
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1895-07-05

1855 @,l+.vsss'
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1895-07-05

Janizaries, specially trained from youth
up to be as fauaticGl and cruel "A, the sultan
himself. Armed with larCc and .cimotCr,
their duty was to cut down in cold blood
every man who shirkcd his duty or turned
back from an assault
When Constantine counted the rolls pre-.
| pared to show the number Of Romans or
| Christian believers who could be put upon
| the walls to defend their homes, he found
but 5000 warriors. The sad truth was kept
Il secret with himself and trusted abide
camp, and the defenders placed in groups
in the different towers under brave leaders
| The emperor took the post of danger and
honor at the Roman gate, opposite til,
great guns of the Turks, and where the!
! bad posted their choicest soldiers.
The Turkish cannonade opened witt
signal from the giant gun called the "Ba.
silica" The earth trembled, and the heav
ems seemed torn apart by the conclusion
! Not alone women aud children, hut men
rushed into he street, beating their breasts
and or ing; Lord of mercy What is to
| happen row?'
| The smallest Turkish cannon balls
weighed from 80 to $50 pounds more than
! the largest known TO the Greeks. How
ever, a week Of commandment PASSED with
F, out breaking the walls. 1.-THE end Of thai
time, about . O'Clock one evening, Their
was n sudden clash of cymbals, crash ~
drums and DlOw of nOrns ana trumpets
along the Turkish camp, and dark masses
of warriors leaped with frantic shouts to
ward the city gates. Along the battle
ments and on the lofty towers the report
| of guns, the clang of arms and lee of
fighting men made an answering din,
which the screams of terrified women and
~ 4
like thunder.
The Turks reached the moat and even the
glacis, but were beaten of at midnight aft
er most horrible slaughter that filled the
ditch with helpless victims. Two days later
- T"'.l -. 'o"our''"d hv y seco"d
victory, with odcJ as great as those con
fronting them on the walls. Early in the
morning four Greek ships loaded with
troops and corn from the Grecian isles
sailed into the harbor and were quickly at
tackled by Turkish fleet of l45 sail
The Greeks were the better seamen, and
with their heavy ships ran down the Turks,
Kidding them with cannon shot and re
polling boarders with showers of liquid fire
To inspire the faithful, the sultan urged
his horse into the SEA, and with frantic
cries and gestures prayed and threatened,
but TO no avail. His fleet ran away in con
fusion, and the Greek ships anchored under
the city walls. More than 1900 Turks
were slaughtered in that affair, and the sui
tan would have quit the siege b At for lhe
voice of his military commanders. They
were for war to the end.
MOhammed's enterprise was backed by
fanatical zeal, boundless riches and des-
potism that knew no restraint The fail
ure in the assault and the naval aasco
| tau.sht him that he musL enpOmDass he
city by sea and land. His ships were
numerous, but were kept at distance by
chain that the Greeks had stretched
across the entrance to the inner harbor.
With an energy worthy of Napoleon he sci
10 work and built u CREASED shiproad six
miles long through valley leading from
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1895-07-05

It's UCCllnt, nut u |
faithful adherents sworc that its death
should be us glorious IA its life had been
noble ami grand.
Byzautium (thc ancient name for the
realm had stood us II light to the word
throughout the dark ages when Home
was but "A stv wherein wallowed barbarian
Ignorance and brutality. But the sceptei
had passed back to Rome. the seat OF ire.
vived Latin civilization. Only the Grceh
rmperor and his yuucrated capital anu
court, with "a small circle Of half hearted
and semloyal dependent states, remained
to reflect the ancient splgudor of the first
Constantine aud his brilliant SUCCESSORS.
Clnging by desperate but gradually
loosening hold to the eastern edge OF Chris
tendon, surrounded by vigorous and fa-
natical Moslem foes whose mosques cast
shadows uuon temples sacred to the Chris
tiap God. and actually owing its preserva-
ton to the cautionary policy Of the sultan
such was the state of tho empire in the
middle Of the century that beheld thedis
covcry of America and that nurscd the
reformation in northern and western Eu-
rope.
Coustantinople in l453 was II city OF 100,
OOO inhabitants. Its shape was that OF T.
triangle, one side extending along the rock
/ bound shore OF the sea Of AlarmOra, nnOth
/ er along the gentle banks of the River Boz
/ porus, and the third, six miles in extent
/ from water to water-tlUt l., from river to
/ sea-iuland and facing the territory occG
| MED by the Turk On the land side no
/ barrier to Nloslem invasion existed outsid'
/ the ancient city walls. The walls were ia
two lines, very massive aud formidable I"
| look at, but not very strong. In front Oi
the outer wall was n ditch 100 feet deep.
The contest did not begin until u long
duel of eastern diplomacy had raspcd TIE
temper, of both sides to the fighting point.
| Aluhammcd who was IA young man OF -
wears. told his grand vizier, when the latte,
| urged peace, that the sultan turned on he
| bed all night long from one side to the
other. His heart was filled with admra
ton for the worlds great couquerurs, whose
deeds he knew in detail, and his soul was
fired by a fanatical notion that Allah had
destined him for Il great conquest Having
been warned oil from Constantiuople, rs ht
| thought, by the weak yet valiant emperor
whowa gliding into old age, he couldn'l
drive out the idea that the hour had cont
and the prophet demanded the overtime
! of the power of the cross in the east.
Constantine, aware Of his plight, desertC,
as he was by the Christian kingdoms of tn,
west, offered to give allegiance to the sui
tan and pay large annual tribute if onl!
the possession of the holy city should b
| allowed to remun with the Christians
When Mohammed answered no to that
| Constantine met the crisis with true Ro
man firmness and dignity Said he ~ re
lease thee from all ouths and treaties Will
me, and closing the gates Of my capital
will defend my people to the last drop o
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1895-07-05


I'm tell you how it is" said the
wild eyed patient to the asylum physi-
clan. 81 met young widow with a
grownup stepdaughter, and l married
that widow.
"Then my father met our stepdaugh-
ter and married her. That made my
wife the mother-in-law of her fathcr-in-
law and made my stepdaughter my step
mother, and my father became my step
son. See!
"Then my stepmother, the stepdaugh-
ter of my wife, had a son. That boy
was, Of course, my brother, because he
was my fathers son, but he was alsc
the son of my wife's stepdaughter and
therefore her grandson. That made me
grandfather of my stepbrother Then
my wife had son.
my mCther-in- law, the stepsister OF
my son, is also his grandmother, be-
cause he is her stepson's child. My IA
ther is the brother-in law of my child,
because his stepsister is his wife. | an
the brother of my own son, who il alsl
the child of my grandmother. l am my
mothers brother-in-law my wife l.
her own child's aunt, my son is my ia
Tiers nephew and I'm my own grand
father-and l can't stand it!'-Truth.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1895-07-05

Dashaway-Ah, general, just got
back from your yacht cruise in the Med
iterranean?
The General-Yes, sir. And we came
near losing our lives, sir.
Dashawny-Gotc caught in gale!
The Goneral-No, sir; worse than
3hat, sir.
Dashaway-Didn't get ashore or run
on a rock, did you;
The General-No, sir; we ran out Of
whisky. Life.