The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-21
PROFESSIONAL AMENITIES:

1871, when the government of M. Theirs
was at Versailles, and before the national
assembly had decided whether the new
constitution was to be monarchial or
republican, the late Comte de Paris WIS.,
tied the palace at Versailles. As he was
about to enter the door M. Simon met and
recognized him. Bowing politely, NJ.
Simon said: "If we are a republic. you
are in my house. and shall be delighted
to do the honors. If we are q monarchy.
am In yours" The count laughed, took
his arm and replied: Let us 80 In to-
gether."
RHYMES OF THE DAY:
mo, sir the trolley's not broke;"
Twas the motorman, sad, who spoke;
"Im waiting, as the hours roll by,
While those two women say goodbye
Washington Star.
Soon will the busy hen get feed
In every shining hour,
By scratching out the garden seed,
And exc the front-yard flower.
Answers.
strip of red flannel she wears round her
neck,
She talks in a hoarse kind Of way;
The pretty rose tints of her cheeks are a
wreck,
For she was a queen Of the May.
Exchange.
The summer girl, with crimp and curl,
Is getting into trim
For killing smiles in forest aisles
Or by the oceans brim.
But find who can the summer man,
Oh, who has heard of him?
New York Recorder.
Burlesques on Trilby abound which Is
our excuse for reproducing this one from
the Argonaut. 1t represents Little Billees
domestic status as 1t would have been had
he welded the O'Ferrall: "Trilby," said
William Bagot, warming himself before
the open fire in their pretty little English
home, II wish you would not say My
eyer so much" Trilby did not reply for
moment She stood looking out of the
window onto the monotonous line OF Eng
lish hedges. Presently she turned, yawn-
ing, toward her husband, standing with
her hands on her hips and gazing with her
large, calm eyes into the fire. Her figure
had lost a bit of It's svelte charm and her
features had not quite the clean outlines
of former days, but the mouth still held
its expression of imperturbable good hui
NOR and her low brow its unruffled calm.
BILLY, my boy" said she "you know
didn't want you to marry me. 1t would
have been far better for us to have lived
together in Paris without all this fuss
about a marriage; then, when you felt
like visiting your English friends and re-
lations, what a simple matter to cross
over alone! How much pleasanter for
you and''-Trilby paused. shook her head
mournfully and sighed-"and so much
pleasanter for me! / cannot get used to
England, l cannot adopt its manners, l
cannot, oh, / cannot stand o'clock tea,
Billy" and, with burst of sObs, she threw
her arms about her husband, very nearly
pulling the little gentleman to his knees.
"Hush-sh, calm yourself, Trilby, you'll
wake the baby, or. what Is worse, arouse
the servants" "Oh, the servants al
ways the servants Why do we have SER
wants? / long to take that pudgy-faced
maid and shake that SNUG look out Of
her. long to put wasps in the trousers
of the butler. The cook Is the only living,
breathing soul in the house with whom
can chum. She once In awhile gets
d-d-drunkr' and Mrs. William Bagot
her face in her hands.
FACTS FOR THE CURIOUS:
Doctors, nrescrintions must not he writ
ten in Latin in France
There are some n. 900 peopIe in London
whose professional occunation ia writing
for publication.
A certa;n cvn;ca, stat,stic,an estimates
that n neriod af twenty months will cover
the average widowbood of women under
95
ENGLAND has OOO OOO nersons who are
either na,,ners in workhouses criminals
in prisons homeless of great cities or
wanderers