Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-12-19


What Is fortune less you have kissed
her.
And life without some other fellows
sister?
Boston Courier.
He-Were you at the Harlem Opera
House last night? Shc-Yes: did you
see me? He-No, but recognized your
voice. Life.
Miriam-Don't you think my new hat
poem, Ned? Ned (critically)-From its
height. dear. l should instead compare
1t to short story.-Judge.
do you think you can read my
mind?" asked the youth. mot unless
some one discovers 1t for me-" was her
answer.-Atlanta Constitution.
Visitor-But this portrait of Mr.. Bull
| ger Is a good deal more than life size.
Artist know It, That is the size he
thinks he is.-Boston Bulletin.
Connoisseur-You have painted that
picture In the impresionlst style, l see.
| Artist-NO. You have been leaning
| against it.-New York Weekly.
Teacher-Have you learned the Gold
en- Rule Tommy? Tommy esm. 1t
is to do to other people like they would
| do to you.--indianapolis Journal.
Dudley-What are you going to be
when you are grown up. Bobby? Bob
by-I'm going TO he a man. What are
you going to be?-Harper's Bazaar.
Friend When are you going to marry
and settle down? Wilde Oates-By
] George, l must do 1t pretty soon in or
der to settle up!-Chicago Tribune.
Hamlet Hardupton meditating)-
| Things are all out Of place with me.
wish / could only get the shine off my
coat and put II on my shoes!-Truth.
Old lady-Well. here's ten cents for
| We: but should hate TO feel that was
encouragin' We to drink. Tramp-I don't
need no encouragement mum.--Judge-
Spirit of the age-Do you desire the
peace OF Europe? Chorus OF great pow
ers-That depends on which Of us gets
the biggest piece.-New York Tribune.
| Had an accident on my run to-day"
said one gripman to another. What
! was it?' Woman said thank you to
a man that gave her a seat.-Washing-
ton Star.
Miss Gushington-How did you feel
| when you found that the ship would
surely go down in ten minutes? Capt.
| Salted--I felt for a Representative
pers Bazaar.
Mazzig-Blower was just remarking
to me that all lie is he owes to his
mother. GaZby-Yes; and understand
that all he has he owes to his father
Roxbury Gazette.
First Kid-Anyhow l never had no
granddaddy hung for boss stealin'. Sec
ond Kid-.Don't care IL he wuz. Hoses
wuZ worth stealth in them days.-Cin-
cinnati Enquirer
AS he thinks of the supper last evening,
That he bought her just after the play,
He signs with regret, for he cannot for
| get
| He must dine on fish ball to-day.
Philadelphia Record
Hicks-Did you hear of that case of
safe blowing last night? Wicks-No;
did they get much of haul? Hicks
Ha, ha. Very natural mistake. 1t was
not burglar, but only prize fighter
twenty miles away from the ring.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
In the electric First standee-Do you
believe that man has right to kick,
under sufficient provocation? Second
standee-Most certainly. First standee
Il am glad you think as do; but how
in time am to kick unless you get on
my foot Boston Transcript.
Proprietcr-Well, what's the matter
now? New Clerk am puzzled about
some goods 1 find in my department.
"WellY' II wish to know whether the
material is intended for mosquito net
ting. bridal wells, or boarding-house
blankets. New York Weekly.
Railroad Official-I must say you put
rather a high value on that trunk.
What's in It? Passenger don't know
MY wife packed it. Official-Huml
Perhaps your estimate is correct. If q
woman did the packing. everything
in the house Is In it-New York Weekly
begin at the bottom and work up
my boy" said the old gentleman
That's the way to succeed in life. .
"Yes," replied the young man thought
fully, ''but 1t doesn't work in the imme
date instance" "Why not?" "Pm in
venting a new style OF toboggan.
Washington Star
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