The herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1893-1900, 1895-02-07
EFFECTIVE ALARMS.
THE RETIRED BURGLAR TELLS or
AN ANNOYING EXPERIENCE.

He Encountered Most Remarkable sys-
tenn Of Burglar Alarms In = House With
Unlocked Doors-BelIs, Tin Pans and .
Baseball Bat-The Explanation.
Zone night late, said the retired
burglar, II went into house in viii
lage il 'insrn Connecticut, entering
by c. p window, as l usually did
whom l was late. so as not to disturb
the folks. looked around the cellar
and located the stairs and started up.
About three-quarters of the way up q
rope that was stretched across caught
me under the chin and toppled me over
down stairs. There was only the stone
wall Of the cellar on one side and no
rail OH the other, SO there was nothing
to grab to, and just tumbled down.
AS l bumped along something scattered
along down with me, whang- banging
down the steps over me and under me
and around me, chasing me all the way
down, and when finally got to the cell
lar bottom that thing was lying across
my chest. TWAS the coal shovel, which
had evidently beon stood up against the
rope and which 1 had Jared loose.
"But the worst thing Of all was that
my lamp was broke. l lost my jimmy
on the way down, but hung on to my
lamp, but now the light was out and
the glass was broke, and the slide was
jammed around in front, and / could
not turn it. felt around till found
my jimmy, and then 1 waited to see il
I'd woke anybody up. l didn't hear
anybody, and SO I started again, and
this time 1 felt my wsy up the stairs
carefully to the door. found it unlock
ed, and had got it open about an inch,
/ should think, when heard little bit
of a scraping on the other side, and the
next instant the dreadfulest racket that
anybody ever heard. the falling of a
dishpan that must have been hanging
on the other side on the doorl1nob or
the key, and at the same time what
imagine must have been the potato
masher-I don't know, because didn't
look for it-dropped from the top of the
door upon my head.
"This door to the cellar opened from
little square hall or entry way that
had, as l learned by feeling, door to
the left, to the kitchen, suppose, and
one to the right, guessed, into tire
front hall. WAITED again, but no sound
from up stairs, SO turned to the right
and opened that door and stumbled the
first thing over chair close by in the
hall and almost broke my shins I felt
along and found row of chairs stand
ing close together from that door clean
to the front door. sat down in one Of
them and nursed my shin and waited.
Still no sound, and tried again, and
got along all right this time, and turned
off to the left and into the parlor, and
back from that into the dining room,
for wonder without falling over any
thing, and began to feel encouraged.
But in the dining room there was moth
ing but plated spoons and forks which
of course I could tell by the touch just
as we'll as though I'd had an electric
light. If they had any silver, they had
carried it up stairs, as some people do
at night.
~ turned back into the hall and
CROPPED my way through that row Of
chairs to the foot OF the stairs. To make
sure of the first step in the dark I STEP
ped high and stepped into pan Of wa
ter on the bottom step. That made me
mad, but didn't make any noise, and
l stepped out of it and started on up.
At about the third step my leg struck
string that was strung across these stairs
and set bell a-ringng that was hang
ing on it, and kicking that string start
ed down on me from above a shower Of
pie plates, and presently fell over q
wash boiler that had been set on the
stairs step or two up and brought that
down on me.
GAS was floundering around in this
tinware and string and bells and things
I heard children's voices up stairs and
a minute later I heard steps in the hall
above, and could see in the blackness
up there the white of a nightgown at
the head Of the stairs Then something
came slamming against the banisters,
hitting me as it ratified down and final
ly landing with a great bang on the
floor among the chairs in the hall. The
minute he threw it, whoever he was,
he ran, and l began to think it was
about time for me to 60 too. Ihad freed
myself from the bellcord by this time,
snd got down the stairs and into the
hall again, and there this time step
ped on baseball bat--that was what
had come banging down at me from
rolled out from under me
and upset me once more among those
chairs.
II got up and opened the front door
it wasn't locked-and got out on the
piazza. Before had got to the top front
step heard horn blowing from an
up stairs window on the side Of the
house, and an instant later shot from
a revolver and a big bell ringing. There
was late moon just rising and little
light now, and as went away looked
back and saw three children all in
white, all leaning ont of one window
on the second story. On one side there
was boy of about IA, as should guess
BY that light, firing pistol. He was
the boy, no doubt, that had thrown the
baseball bat. On the other side was his
younger brother with a good pair of
lungs blowing fishhorn about as long
as bean pole, and in the middle was
their little sister swinging n bio hell