Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-11-14

And heavy jackets, too.
"He said / was his life's sunshine"
IL guess you will find that all moon
ne."-Boston Courier.
Professor, how does the haircut
suit you? 1.-The hair Is altogether too
short-a little longer, please."-Flie-
gende Blaetter.
"What would You do, miss. II i should
attempt to give you kiss?" II should
certainly set my face against it, SIR
Richmond Dispatch.
''TeIl me, guide, why so few people
ascend that magnificent mountain"
because no one has ever fallen of It."
-FIIegende Blaetter.
"1t may be weakness said the dying
editor ''but i can't help but feel CRATE
full to this town." what forY For
life enough to leave ft-r-Atlanta Com
stitution.
"That whisky Is fifteen years old !
know 1t because I've had it that long
myself" The Colonel--By Jove! sir,
you must be man of phenomenal self
contrOl.-Life:
"Now that we are married, Penelope,
and have nothing to conceal from each
other, how" Pm %, George. How
much did you give the. preacher?'-
Chicago Tribune.
Tommy-Paw, why is it the good die
young? Mr.. Figgs-They don't die
young because they are good, but they
stay good because they die young.-In-
dianapolis Journal. i ~ jg.
He (waxing serious)4-Do you believe
in the truth of the saying, Man pro.
poses; God disposes" She (archly)-
1t depends upon whom man proposes.
to.--Brooklyn Life.
Oh, Peary, please now settle down,
While you with life are blest;
And give yourself, the world at large.
And poor north pole a rest
Boston Courier.
Slobbs-Jenkins told me- Miss Bea-
construct was an old flame of yours.
Blobbs-An old flame? IMPOSSIBLE!
"Why impossible?" "She's> from Bos-
ton" -Philadelphia Record.
"Oh, boy, I'll give you a dollar to
catch my canary bird" '.He's just
caught, ma'am." "Where-where Is
the precious petT' BLACK cat up the
roads got 'im."-Chicago Record.
"I reckon" said Mrs. Corntossel,
"that these politicians says good
many things they're sorry for" YES"
replied her husband, "an' a good many
more tibet they orter be."-Washington
Star.
"It's cold day when get left" said
the pawn broker, as he hung up the
$50 overcoat ON which he had advanced
$4 "Its the other way with me-" aptly
remarked the overcoat.-New York
Herald.
"Do you think" he asked, that your
father would consider my suit favor
ably?" Really, Herbert" the mer-
chants daughter replied, 81 couldn't
say. Did you buy it at his stOreT-
Washington Star.
Oh, legislators, while you strive
To remedy our ills,
If you would keep us all alive,
Pass some ten-dollar bills!
Atlanta Constitution.
"Did you like the matineeT said
Mabel to Blanche. mo. l couldn't
see the stage" "Your seat was well
! toward the front, wasn't it," "Yes;;
but a football player sat directly in
front of me."-Judge.
A.-"When 1 see you l always think,
of the proverb: To whom God gives
an office, to him he gives understand
ing" B.-"But have no office! A.
"Well. don't you see how that'fits?--
Bliegende Blaetter.
Husband-"I have made all sorts OF
sacrifices for you. Now, what did you
ever give up for me" Wife-"What
did ever give up for you? Well
never! why, / gave up half-a-dozen
of the incest young men in town.
New York Weekly.
Years ago." said Mr.. Barnes former,
the. eminent tragedian, II started out
to be the architect of my own fortunes,
but in the school of experience 1 have
learned that a successful architect
ought to be able to draw good houses"
indianapolis Journal.
The black-bearded pirate, with n
knife between his teeth, boarded the
passenger ship. Throw up your
hands!" he shouted The passenger
hanging over the rail smiled feebly.
Il think did, not less than an hour
ago" he said, gaspingly.-Cincinnati
Enquirer
Are all these young men anxious to
become surgeons? asked the visitor.
.aThey are" replied the lecturer>upon
surgery. "But how can so many ex-
pect to make a, livingf" Easily, sir;
easily" answered theSfect,irsr. @Ihink
of the effect of the present bicycle
raze."-Chicago Evening Post.
In reply to the cry for assistance, the
professor said IF 1 could help you,
couldn't help helping you. 1t is because
I cannot help you that cannot help
refusing to help YOU" And the men,
dicant darted around the corner, with
terror In his eyes and cries of "Help!"
in his mouth.-Boston Transcript.
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