davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-01-10

" WHAT makes you think he is 80
In love with your"
"Oh, I know 1t, because he Is so
attentive to other girls when 1 am
present.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-01-10

No DEMAND FOR IT.-Quester
Away back in the ancient times they
say that water-clocks were In com
mon use. 1t would be quite treat
to meet with one now, wouldn't 1t p
Jester: Hardly, old boy.
Quester: Why not, pray2
Jester: Because water doesn't en-
ter into the vocabulary Of "treats'
nowadays.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-01-10

ONE of the surprising things of
this world Ia the respect q worthless
man has for himself.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-01-10

A GREAT MAN" How did
Sniffer make such reputation as a
detective? Was 1t some great
case ?o
Well, rather. He was able to go
through and understand portions Of
his wife's household account book.n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-01-10

How true the saying of Carlyle
"All honest men will bear watching.
1t Is the rascals who cannot stand
It,"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-01-10

THE people who have the softest
carpet to kneel on do the least pray
ing.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-01-10

A BUSINESS seldom amounts to
enough to give all the employees the
credit they claim.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-01-10

IF man hires a girl, he does not
think his wife has anything to do.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-01-10

WE have queer experiences In the
house of mourning" said the cler-
gyman of the party. sit was only
a few weeks ago that / called upon q
middle-aged shoemaker who had
lost his wife. spoke to him as
thought meet, and especially en-.
Joined upon him the duty Of being
resigned. When / had got thus far
he interrupted me to say, In a quiet
tone, 'Oh, that's all right, Mr.
Prooftext; / amt a kickin.D
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-01-10

DOMESTIC RETRENCHMENT.--
Father (at tea)-We must retrench
in every way, my dear, and you,
too, Laura, must do your part.
"Yes, papa"
Father (next morning)-Had you
company last night, Laura?
Yes, papa; Mr.. Billcoo was here"
"Seems to me you had very little
light in the parlor."
Eyes, papa; 1 remembered what
you said about my doing my part in
retrenching."
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-01-10
THAS. M. ANDERSON,
~ ATTORNEY AT LAW.

WILL practice in the Courts of
w Greenbrier and Summers and in
the State and Federal Courts at Charles
ton. Prompt attention to all business.
Office with j. K. Chiffon, 75i Capitol
Street, Charleston, w. Va.
April 26-6mo.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-01-10

LOVE Is a game at which both
players always cheat.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-01-10
GALE HOUSE,
COVINGTON VA.

w ON
III RST-CLASS accommodations
Cne dollar and a.half per day
Bar attached. Special attention given
TO orders from a distance. Good Ii.
quors at 80 90, $3.50, $500 and up
Send us an order.
J. f. GALE, Prop'r.
June lily.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-01-10

A NAN is fooled In some new way
every day.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1895-08-15

Tie Singular goci. Formation on the Aus
tralina Coast.

Tile Singular goci. Formation ON the Aus
traliaa Coast
One Of the most pleasant rs well as
famous tourist resorts in New South
Wales is situated ON the coast some 20
miles south Of Sydney. The center OF
this district is Kama, a picturesque
and thriving town surrounded by rich
agricultural country, and which has
been built upon an old igneous flow OF
basalt that has sOlidified and crystal
liked into huge columns Of what is pop
ularly called "bluestone. F" This forma-
ton is seen TO perfection ON the west
coast of Scotland and north of Ireland
at ST. Fingal's cave and other places,
and those who are acquainted with the
rugged appearance Of the coast IN these
places can form "A good idea of the ap-
pearance of the New South Wales coast
at this point. Kama, unlike other tour
list resorts, can be thoroughly enjoyed
in either fair or stormy weather, and
those who visit the town when good
gale is blowing have an opportunity OF
witnessing sight the like of which
does not exist elsewhere on our globe.
The famous "Blowhole" here situated,
in the middle of rocky headland run
ming out into the sea, forms a truly won
drous sight. With each successive break
CIR the ocean spray is sent shooting up
into the air sometimes rs high as from
800 to 400 feet, descending III a drench-
ing shower and accompanied by rum
bling noise as of distant thunder, which
can be heard for many miles around.
This "Blowhole" is singular nat
oral phenomenon. and consists of a per-
pendicular hole, nearly circular, with a
diameter of about ten yards across, and
has the appearance of being the crater
of an extinct volcano. This is connected
with the ocean by cave about 100 yards
in length, the seaward opening of which
is i'll all respects similar to st. Fingal' 8
cave ON the west coast of Scotland, the
same perpendicular basaltic columns
forming the side walls Of each. Into
this cave towering waves rush during
stormy weather, and as the cave extends
some distance farther into the rock than
the "Blowhole," on the entrance OF
each wave this cavity becomes full OF
compressed air, which, when the tension
becomes too great, blows the water with
stupendous force up to the perpendicu-
lar opening. Photographic Journal
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1895-08-15
HANpcuEEs STOP TALK.
And Breaking . Prisoners Jaw Keep
Him From Running Away.

And Breaking q Prisoners Jaw Keeps
Him From Running Away.
A police officer was under cross ex-
animation in the police court The de-
PENDANT was charged with using vulgar
language, battery, disturbing the peace.
drunkenness and resisting an officer.
"You put the handouts on this man,
didn't your" asked the attorney for the
defense.
eyes, sir. /"
"Why did you do that? Was he resist
ing or attempting to escape at that
time?'
"No, sir. F"
"He was walking along quietly
enough, wasn't he?"
Eyes"
sThen why did You handcuff him?"
HE was using vulgar language. -.
''But why did you put those things
ON his wrists?'
81 couldn t put them ON his mouth. =
"What did he do them"
''He tried to run. "
"And what did you do?'
81 broke his jaw for him.
Why did you break ms jaw!
"Well, couldn break his leg, could
I?v
"Then, as understand it, you put
handouts on him to keep him from MS
ing vulgar language and broke his jaw
TO keep him from running?'
eyes, sir; that's right that's what ]
did"
Ibid the handouts stop his vulgar
languagef"
That's what they did. I"
"How?"
swell, he's deaf and dumb, and he
was swearing with his fingers. "
Ibid breaking his jaw stop his run
ning?"
Eyes, sir. When he came to he was
wherehe couldn run. San Francisco
Post.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1895-08-15

IN early times the Dutch farmers OF
the up river farms of New York had an
ingenious way of recovering pocket
HALVES that might have been dropped or
mislaid while blowing or gardening was
going ON. Cutlery was not as cheap then
and abundant as in these days; so the
farmers took the thrifty precaution of
keeping two or three sunfiower seeds in
their knife handles. Then if the knives
fed upon broken ground and could not
be readily found, the owners would wait
until the seeds sprouted, and an isolated
sunhower stalk or blossom in field or
patch would signalize the possibility of
a missing articles being at its root
True, the owner did not always realize
the result of the scheme, because a pass
ing boy who understood the token often
''got there" before the planter. New
York Tribune.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1895-08-15
DAv OF THE DEAD IN PARIS.
Curious Scenes During the Pilgrimage to
the Graveyards.

Curious Scenes During the Pilgrimage to
the Graveyard.
Paris, it is said, thinks once a year of
those whom she has lost The truth is
she thinks very much oftener of them,
for their touching devotion to the mem
DRY of the dead is one of the finest sides
of the French character
The day after All Saints is the "day
II the d''-the jour DIES morris
Then Parisians visit the great ceme-
teries - Pere Lachaise, Montmartre,
Montparnasse, Passy, Vanguard and
Saint-Ouen. 1t is a curious sight to see
the crowds sweeping like torrent along
the boulerards of Bellevue and Menil-
montant between the two rows of booths
piled mp with emblems of grief and
piety.
About half the number are simple
Observation-Disclosures who are attracted
by any crowd, and who can be readily
recognized by their indifferent and gap
ing air and empty hands.
The others, in mourning habits, carry
in their hands wreaths of everlasting
flowers, sprigs of lockwood and yew. bon
quets. medallions under glass. with a
weeping willow and some artlcss in
scriptlon a ma mere, a notre pere, etc.
The cemeteries themselves present an
Hnaccustomed spectacle. The entrances
are guarded by mounted guardes de Pa.
ris in full uniform policemen ara sta
toned to regulate the circulation in the
interior, and around the cemetery hawk
ers of all sorts spread ont their wares in
tempting array-immortelles for the
dead, cakes and petit bleu-cheap wine
for the living.
The exterior boulevards are too small
for the crowd of mourners, and the inns
and wineshops too small for the Gus
| tom.
Side by side with the sellers of SOU
venirs eterna you find the camelo, who
offers his collection of 800 jokes for
cent; the open air lotteries with their
grating and rattling wheels and an
asthmatic hurdy gurdy playing the eter-
nal 'Boulanger March. This is the
| first act of the tragi comedy.
Each proceeds to the tomb that inter-
ests him or her. The old wreaths are re-
moved, and the glass covered medallion
of the most approved design is hung up
in their stead. st. Louis Globe-Demo-
GRAFT
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1895-08-15

Miss Inland Ito old salt, who is show
ing the party over the fiagship)-And
what arc all those soldiers ON board ship
for?
Bo'sun's Mate-Thim? Oh, thin s
the marines, mum.
Miss Inland-Marines And what are
they for?
Papa Inland-Don I ask so many fool
fish questions, Mary Ellen. Everybody
knows those gentlemen are employed by
the government for the sailors TO tell
stories to. Pearson Weekly.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1895-08-15
Found Great Relief.

Mr.. r. S. Cheek, of Raleigh, N. c.,
says: "A friend gave me bottle of Qura
tol to use on my head for bad case OF
eczema, and / have found great reliei
from 1t. Mr.. Epps, who works in the
same Office with me, sprained his foo,
very badly several weeks ago. gave him
one application Of Quratol, and in one
night it cured him" Quratol is equally
efficacious In sprains, burns, cuts, wounds
scalds, eczema and all skin diseases. AL
druggists sell 1t at 80 cents bottle.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1895-08-15
LAMENT OF the LAST LEPRecHAuN.

For the red shocn Of the Shee.
For the falling a the leaf.
For the wind among the reeds.
Ny grief
For the sorrow Of the SEA.
For the songs unquickened seeds.
For the sleeping Of the Shee.
Ny griefl
For dishonore3 whitethorn tree
For the runes that no man reads.
Where the gray stones face the sea.
My griefi
LizsAkeole. that used to BE-
Filled with music night and noon.
For their ancient revelry.
Ny grief
For the empty fairy shoon,
Hollow rath and yellow leaf.
Hands unkissed 20 sun or moon,
My grief, my grief,
Nora Hopper
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1895-08-15
IA ChiId scaIded.

A young child Of Mr.. S. G. Shane, iiv.
ing at No. 601 Church street, Norfolk. Va,
was painfully scalded some time ago. Mr..
Shane applied linseed oil and other RENE
dies, but the little one got no better until
he tried Quratol. In letter he praises
Quratol, which Is sold by all druggists at
80 cents a bottle. Quratol cures burma,
scalds, cuts, wounds and all skin troubles.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1895-08-15
A Carpenter,. Good Lue,..

John Clark, a carpenter living at No
81 K street, N W., Washington. ID. c.,
has had run of luck which he will never
forget. For two years he has suffered
with sore and swollen feet, but could get
no relief until he tried Quratol, which has
cured him, as it has hundreds of others
Quratol will cure burns, scalds. cuts,
wounds and all skin troubles. Fifty cents
a bottle at drug stores.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1895-08-15

Thursday, August 18th, the Royal
Blue Line viii repeat its excursion to
Niagara Falls, Watkins Glen. Mauch
Chunk. Glen Onoko. Rochester and
Geneva. A special express with Pull
man Par1or Cars attached in charge OF
an experienced tourist agent. will leave
b. & .. station. Washington. $40 a. M,
Baltimore 9.05 a. m. a irving at the
falls 100 p. m.
The route is via the famous Lehigh
VALLEY, giving tourists daylight ride
through the ss6witzerland Of America
Round trip tickets good ten days, s1O.0o
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1895-08-15

Anna---I wonder what makes Mr..
Droopley down in the mouth tonight?
Gaybelle-Force Of habit, suppose ;
he's dentist. you know. Boston Cou-
rier.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1895-08-15

She-Why is Mr.. Scherzo SO sad when
he sings?
He-I suppose he wants to be in sym
pathy with his audience. New York
Herald
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-31

A queer story comes with first-class
recommendation all the way from
England. Thirty-three years ago, in
1860, member of the Chaplin family
died at Blankney, Lincolnshire, and
was laid in the family tomb. This par
ticular Chaplin was a naturalist, and,
among his other pets, had large gray
bat. That bat was permitted to enter
the tomb and was sealed up alive along
with the corpse of his dead master. In
1866 the vault was opened and to the
surprise of all the bat was alive and
fat. On four different occasions since
the Chaplins have looked after the
welfare oftheir dead relatives pet, and
each time it has been reported that
the bat was still in the land of the liv-
ing, although occupying quarters with
the dead. He was last seen in 1892.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-31
SUICIDE PARTIES.
Entertainments That Would Not Find
Favor with American Girls.

favOr with American GIRLS.
Mr.. Medhurst. for many years British
consul at Shanghai, tells. in the Lon
don Million, of a singular card of in
vitation" which he once received in
China. 1t was from lady. intimating
her intention to commit suicide on
specified date. She was very young
and attractive, and belonged to
wealthy family, but the Chinese gen.
tleman to whom she had been affianced
from childhood having died just before
the date fixed for their nuptials, she
gave out that she deemed it her duty
to render her widowhood irrevocable
by dying with her betrothed. So she
sent cards around to the local gentry
giving notice of her purpose. No at
tempt was made by her relatives or
the local authorities to Illustrate her
design, though Mr.. Medhurst appealed
to the mandarins, the general opinion
being that she was about to perform a
meritorious act. Eventually, on the
day named, the woman did deliberate
ly sacrifice her life in the presence of
thousands of spectators. A stage was
erected in the open fields, with a tent
ed frame over it, from which was sus-
pended a slip of scarlet crepe. One
end of this slip she fastened round her
neck, and then, embracing a little boy
presented by one of the bystanders,
she mounted a chair and resolutely
jumped off, her little clasped hands
saluting the assemblage as her body
twirled round with the Tightening
cord" The woman was not bounded
on by fanatic mob, as was the prac-
tice at suttees in Indio, but immolation
appeared to be an entirely voluntary
act. Sacrifices of this kind, according
to Mr.. Medhurst, are not uncommon in
certain parts of China, and. strange to
say, they are rewarded with monu-
ments, sometimes erected by order of
the emperor.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-31
Not What They Ate

1t is customary for the railroad com.
panies to treat witnesses well when
they are subpGnaed to court. When q
witness for railroad company has to
leave his work To testify, says the Phil
adelphia Press, the company pays him
fully for the loss of his time in case the
legal witness fee is not SO much as the
witness would have earned in his usual
occupation. In addition. witnesses are
given an order for their dinner at a
restaurant near Sixth and Chestnut
streets. The other day when the agent
for the Reading railroad went to
pay for the checks turned in by wit
nesses he found one for the unusually
large sum of two dollars.
What in the world did the witness
eat" asked the agent, that his check
should be two dollars?"
1T wasn't what he ate," replied the
caterer, but what he ordered made his
bill so big. After he finished his dinner
he ordered a whole chicken in box to
take home with him."
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-31
Japanase EmIRration.

The Japanese, who SO long remained
true to their beautiful islands, have
now begun to follow the example of
the Chinese and emigrate in COM
paratively large numbers. The gov
eminent, according to Globus, looks
with favor on this change in the
customs of the people and encourages
it as much as possible. Last year. ac-
cording to the statistics recently COM
piled, twenty-four thousand men and
eighteen thousand women left Japan
to find homes for themselves abroad.
Most of them went tol Hawaii and
Australia and few to Canada and to
this country. In Australia the Japa-
nese, the journal says, easily find en-
ployment, and are fast superseding
the natives in the plantations about
Cairns, Dungeness and Mackay. They
accustom themselves quickly to the
new manners OF life, learn the
language readily. and work diligently.
Many Australians already prefer them
to the Chinese as house servants, gar
denerS, and coachmen.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-31
MUMBLING LECTURERS.
How English Audiences Are Entertaine,
by Men of Science.

How English Audiences Are Entertained
by Men of Science.
Nothing can surpass the patience of
the British audience at certain of these
lectures. We have been present, SAYS
a writer in the London Globe, on one
such occasion when a distinguished,
but perfectly unintelligible, member
of the Royal society engrossed the at
tention of about nine hundred ladies
and gentlemen from eight o'clock until
ten. What he was saying no one
knew. He mumbled on unremittingly
and the company loudly applauded
him in the intervals, when he drew
breath for fresh lease of indifference.
But he held long rod in his hand and
periodically he raised it and pointed at
an enigmatic agglOmeration of lines,
which were believed to be an illustra-
ton. This of itself alone would have
satisfied his audience, coupled, of
course, with the spectacle of his own
respectable person. And when the
lecture was over the secretary compli-
mented the old gentleman on his most
instructive discourse, there was a rush
of eager seconders of the resolution,
and the general public streamed out,
yawning and happy. This gentleman
received twenty-five guineas for his
effort, and it is not known to this day
what he was talking about. There is
no civilization in the world to equal
that of the average provincial audience
at lecture. 1t tolerates all things
uncomplainingly. We have known
these kindly people endure long Sc
ries of lantern slides upside down with
out murmur, though their pictorial
matter was believed to be of a very ex-
citing nature.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-31
MEN OF AMERICA.

GEN. GRANT once declined to serve
as president of the Panama Canal COM
pany, with a salary of S2s,00O, because
he thought its scheme impracticable.
julius STERLING MORTON is a grad.
uate of the University of Michigan,
class of 1855. He was private secre-
tary to Lewis Cass before moving to
Nebraska.
FoRNEY MELnoRN, of Smithfield
township, jefferson county, O., sixty
five years old. has finished blowing
thirty acres OF land. using a team of
horses, each of which is thirty years
old. The man and horses finished fresh.
DAVID ii. SMITH, son of the Mormon
prophet, Joseph Smith, has been an in
mate of the asylum for the insane at
Elgin, ILL.,. for seventeen years. He
was a brilliant man and has written q
book of poems and one of psalms, the
latter being now in use.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-31
WELL UP IN YEARS.

MARY BURTON, q coy maid Of one
hundred and one summers, was mar
ried in the Grimsby (England) parish
church recently.
TWINS in Glen Ellyn, near Chicago,
lately celebrated the ninety-frst ami
versary of their birth. Their names
are Mrs. Alderman and Mrs. Christian.
CHARLES REVERE CURTIS, who is still
male and hearty at eighty, lives at
Rockland, N. ", and is great grand
son Of the immortal Paul Revere of the
famous ride.
VICToR BALLOT. one Of the few SUR
viving veterans of the French army at
Waterloo. recently celebrated his one
hundredth anniversary in his native
village in the Yonne.
AN Irish woman named Mrs. Todd
died recently at Donaghmore, Newry,
at the age of one hundred and ten
years. She well remembered many of
the stirring scenes of the rebe lion of
700
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-31
OUR DEBT TO THE DUTCH.
America Owes More to Nick Van Stan
Than 1t Can Paw.

America Owes More to Nick Van Stan
Than 1t Can Pay.
One never reads in American colo
NAL history of the Dutchman seeking
gold like the Spaniards or English
men, remarks Harper's Magazine. His
head was too level and his eye too
clear. Excelling as farmers, yet even
more as traders, the Dutch laid the
foundations of the commercial SUI
premacy of New York by inherited in
stincts reinforced by wise policy and
large ideas. They gave points not
only as to fish, fur and wampum to
their neighbors down east.
Quickest to catch customers, they
sent out their agents among the In
dams, forestalling the fur and other
crops. Incompatible as is the modern
Boston drummer" he is but the
evolution of the Dutch bos-loper, or
wood-ranger, who secured the forests
for trade.
With perfection of dress and man
ners, irresistible in tongue. brainy and
resourceful always. as is our CONNER
cial tourist in this Columbian year, he
probably does not proportionately ex-
eel the skillful bos-loper, who in the
seven teenth century secured the In
dian villages along the Mohawk and
even to Duluth.