Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1895-07-29
KISSES AND THE LAW
LEGAL PROCEEDINGS THAT. WERE
CAUSED BY OSCILLATION.
Considerable Amusement Afforded Law
yers and Judges, but the Kisser Doesn't
Always See Where the Laugh Comes In.
A Lost Heir Discovered.

legal profession appear to derive much
| amusement from the subject of kisses,
which comes before them most frequently
| in the form Of superintendent supply OF
crosses in the letters of lovers, when these
are being read--as they never were intend
ed to be-in court in breach Of promise
cases. The learned gentleman who has at
the moment the business in hand Of read
ing aloud one of these wonderful produc-
lions generally pauses when he comes to
the first stop in the gushing effusion,
where the enamored swain has found
words too weak to express his sentiments,
supplying their place with a string of
symbolic oscillations and, with well
feigned look of innocence says there is
here gap in the letter. which the defend
ant "has filed in with lot of ks, - re-
garding the meaning of which some broth
er more learned in these weighty matters,
may perhaps be able to enlighten him.
This some brother never fails TO do,
saying that if he is rightly informed-he
has, of course no personal knowledge Of
the matter (winks all round)-these mystic
signs signify kisses in the language of Gu
pid. Thereupon this mighty, time hon
of outlaws, and the interrupted reading
| proceeds.
But kisses sometimes make their ap-
pearance in law courts in other circum-
stances, though they never fail to be made
the subject of numerous legal witticisms.
The judge may have been in a testing
humor-and yet who knows but he may
have been laying down, with all due
| cnla,,, Gonna prippiDla Of
Justice and equity-who once asked the
plaintiff, who was suing his former sweet
heart for the return of the value of GER
tain articles of jewelry which he had pre-
scented to her in the happy days of their
courtshipS whether he ''had ever kissed
the young LADY," "Certainlyp' was the
reply, as was to be expected. WhereupOn
the judge dismissed the action, declaring
| that kisses and caresses were full legal
payment for presents given in such cir
cumstances. The obvious moral may lie
laid to heart without much difficulty by
present giving young mon.
1t happened one day that pretty young
widow, travelling by train fom Louisville
to Nashville, had taken her seat near a
newly married couple. The bridegroom
left his wife for moment, and when he
returned tho train was passing through a
| tunnel. He took advantage of the dark
ness to snatch kiss from his wife, as he
| suspected, but unfortunately he had made
a mistake and kissed the young widow in.
stead. She was highly indignant, and re.
fusing to believe that it was an accident
sued the young husband for 81 900 as
solatium to her wounded feelings and ruf-
fed dignity.
There is given as an example Of the To-
niency of New York judges the case of a
man who was arrested for kissing another
mans wife The sentence passed upon
the culprit was that he should there and
then kiss his own wife, who was present
in the courtroom, which, as may be sup
posed, he gladly did.
In British law courts 1t has been fire.
quently brought homo to offenders that it
Is rather an expensive amusement to kiss
a lady against her will, but in Holland it
appears that rather different Wow pro-
walls in judicial circles. A young man
who had assaulted young lady in this
| way on the streets of village near Utrecht
was brought before the burgomaster, who
took the matter up, demanding that the
offender should be fined form, or in de-
fault, be imprisoned for day. But the
Utrecht court and finally the appeal court
at Amsterdam both dismissed the case,
the judge declaring "that to kiss a person
cannot be an offense, as it is in the nature
of warm mark of sympathyl' This is
| pretty much like the Yankee judge who
dismissed similar offender, remarking
that the plaintiff was so temptingly pretty
that during the trial he had to keep him
self down in his chair with both hands, he
| felt so much inclined to get up and kiss
her himself.
A stolen kiss once brought the culprit
into possession of fortune He was
butcher in Sydney and had taken the lib
erty of kissing ono of his customers,
pretty girl, who resented the atfront and
had him prosecuted for assault. He was
fined heavily by the local magistrates, and
the case was commented on freely by the
press. The publicity thus given to tho af
| fair happened to arrest the notice of firm
of solicitors in Sydney, who had been APP
pointed trustees of some property which
| had been left 30 the man by distant rela-
tive 20 years before. They had failed to
trace the heir, but when his name appear
| ed in the papers in connection with the
case of assault they communicated with
him, and he was able to establish his iden-
| tity.
A certain EenOr Ialca OF Valparaiso,
however, had very different experience
and paid heavily for his momcntary freak
of kissing lady on the plaza without her
permission. She prosecuted him, and the
magistrate, as indignant as the lady, SEN
fenced him 20 60 days imprisonment.
| This severe penalty Senior Talca considered
| himself justified in appealing against, but
the higher court, SO far from bestowing
any sympathy on the offender, sentenced
him to an additional 80 days imprson-
ment. The amusing part of the affair is
that the higher court took 200 days to con-
slider the appeal, and during the whole of
that time the senior had to remain in jail
Even this, however, is outdone by the
series of tribulations undergone by man
who had stolen kiss from pretty girl
To begin with, he was brought before a
magistrate and fined. Then he was horse
whipped by the girls brother and harried
into brain fever by his wife. The clergy
man of the district referred to the affair in
a sermon and reviewed the case in print,
and finally, the caterpillars ate up every