davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04
HUMoR OF THE DAY.,

Sweet meets--Lovers' appointments.
Never strike man for Eve dollars
when he is down.
Life is so short that man is but
collar on the neck of time.-Puck.
The worn-out clock usually comes TO
an untimsly end.--Glens Falls Repub-
lican.
Yes, Minerva, there is a vast differ
ence between fast days and fast nights
-Elmira Gazette.
Delsarte was nowhere alongside of q
dogs tail in the art of expression -
Boston Transcript.
When money talks, sven the deaf
mute can get on to Its meaning with
out the aid Of signs.
'sThe modern servant doesn't know
her place" t'She can't. She changes
it too often. Puck.
When a friend turns out not to be q
trump, then is the time to discard
him.--Boston Transcript.
There are some friends who can't be
good to you unless you will let them
own you.-Atchison Globe.
A girl may be almost pardoned for
throwing herself at q man II he Is q
good catch. Albany Press.
'There is q time for everything
when the clearinghouse cook makes
hash.-Binghamton Republican.
Woman may be the weaker vessel,
but it's always the husband that's
broke. cleveland Plain Dealer.
Bakers ought to make good friends.
They can always raise something for
you In time Of knesd.-Hartford
Journal.
with bloodless lips, the villain
glared at her." His eyes, doubtless,
were otherwise occupied. -Bostop
Transcript.
''The great trouble with Duff d that
he doesn't know anything" "0h on
the contrary, that doesn't trouble him
ut all."-Puck.
Be careful Of your Language whsn
talking with the elevator boy; be q
apt to take you up very Quickly
Boston Bulletin.
"How did you discover she was q
woman masquerading AS mani" ssShs
sent me q letter with two postscripta.
Yankee Blade.
Hicks-"Snider says he hates . hum
bug" Wicks-"Well, there'snothine
egostical about Snider, is there?"-
Boston Transcript.
She--'sThis is SO sudden" He
"That's where you are mistaken. I've
been thinking about ii for q whole
ycar."--New York Press.
A scientist, who is probably still
owing his tailor, claims that sllstht
diseases Of humanity are due 10 wear
ing clothes. Hartford Journal.
Wife-"What would we do without
q doctorY" Husband-tfWell, we
might get along, but what wouldtths
druggists dof"--Texas SiftingA
That Nioetown man who namedfhii
hen 'Macduff" has q neighbor who
called his rooster Robinson" because
be e so.--Philadelphia Record
"Have you gained her fathers con-
sent to your marriage?" 81 cant
tell" "He's away, eh2" "No; her
mother is. "--Chioago Inter- Ocean.
Mrs.. Hicks-.sThat girl broke only
sno dish to-day" Hioks-'How did
hat happen?" Mrs. Hicks--sTt was
The only one left. New York Herald.
"You cannot Judge q man by the
umbrella he carries" "Why not7''
because the chances are it belongs to
,omebody se."--New York journal.
Uncle-'Well, Robbie, how did you
stand at school last term?" Robbie
Sometimes with my face in the cor
ner and sometimes up ct the teachers
aesk."-Chicago Inter Ocean.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04

Salt fish are quickest and best fresh
ened in sour milk.
Cold rain water and soap will re
move machine grease from washable
fabrics.
Fish may be scaled easier by first
dipping them into boiling water for I
minute.
Apply kerosene with . rag to the
stoves you put away in summer, and
they will not rust.
One teaspoonful OF ammonia to
cup of water, applied with a rag, vii
cleanse gold or silver iewelry.
A tablespoonful of turpentine
boiled with your white clothes viii
greatly aid the whitening process.
A teaspoonful of borax put into the
last water in which the clothers art
rinsed will help make them white.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04

A pneumatic tube Is to be placed on
Brooklyn Bridge to expedite mail com.
munication between the two cities.
1t is claimed that proxide Of hydro
gen in combination with the electric
current will bleach discolored teeth in
q few minutes.
According to . recent lecture Of Pro.
fessor Shuster, of London, the safest
course for q human being In 8 thunder
storm is to get thoroughly wet.
In the Philadelphia rogues' gallery
g the picture of . man who was one
Of the 600 who made The Charge Of
the Light BrisadA"
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04

A good way to use q cupful Of cold
boiled rice is to put it into gems fol
luncheon. Separate the yolks from
the whites of three eggs. beat the
yolks light, and add TO them . pint Of
sweet milk and three oupfuls Of -four.
Mix thoroughly, then add o table
SD ,onful Of butter melted (which il
not one tablespoonful of melted but
teri, q teaspoonful of salt and the CUP
full Of boiled rice. Beat vigorously,
then add two teaspoonfuls Of baking
powder and the ~well-beaten whites Of
the eggs. Grease the gem-pans thor
oughly and bake twenty minutes in
Quick oyen,-New York Post.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04
sow HUNTINGTON SUCCEEDED
What He Would DO II He Were
Young and Had 100000.

What He would DO II He Were
Young and Had 100000.
I asked Coils p. Huntington. the
great railroad magDate, to what he at
tributed his success in lire, and he re
oiled:
Attention to my own business"
Mr.. Huntington vas a '49er. II ar
rived In Sacramento with nothing" he
said, "and was glad to get a job In q
general store at a very small salary.
lOur customers were mostly miners.
There were three other clerks, who de-
voted most Of their time In running
around with the boys. l stuck to the
store and gained the confidence of tho
proprietor. By and by I became a
partner, and after that fortune came
,asily.'
"If you had to begin life anew"
asked, what would you do? What do
you regard as the best field for a young
uan7"
"If I were young and had 100000"
he replied, II would go at once to ths
Congo Free State and buy rubber.
lover across the mountains you car buy
It crude for one cent a pound. To gel
II down to the coast for shipment you
would probably have to pay a cent OF
two more. The natives will carry II
over on their backs for that price. II
doesn't cost much to ship 1t to New
York, where you AN usually count on
about 81 q pound. It's an adventurous
Isort Of business, but l know Of moth.
ing that will pay better. ia be worth
Ia million IN ten years If I were a
yonng man and could start with $780,
hoo.
"But suppose you did net have the
e100,000% I asked.
.Then I'd start with $4,000 and take
my chances" he replied.
"But, Mr.. Huntington" I said, at
3 not every man that has $4,000.
What would you do If you did not have
hat sum-"
"A young man in this day and gen
GRAFTON who does not possess $4,000
had better stay at home and work al
something till he gets it." was the an
swer. "And," he continued, 81 guess
he only way to get it Is to save it"
Ward McAllister, the social director
Of the 400, endeavored to persuade Mr..
Huntington to invest in certain stocks
In Wall street. "Mr. McAllister," said
the pioneer, II have made 1t the rule
Of my life never to go outside of my
,wn enterprises for investment. They
,fYer me all the opportunities for
speculation I iced. 1 do not believe
In scattering my resources. II I do
not have faith In my own companies
how can I expect others to take stock
In themT
Mr.. Huntington's fortune Is various
" estimated at from 100000 to $50
100000. He began with nothing.-New
York Herald.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04

The Esquimaux count their nngers-
one, two, three. four, Eve. Above Eve
and mp to ten they use the second baad;
thus, SIX 10 "ths irst finger Of the
other hand" Above ten, they employ
the toes. Thirteen, for instance, is
three toes upon the n foot" and
eighteen "three toes on tho second
foot" Twenty they describe as a
whole man." They seldom 80 farther
than this, but they a do 90 II necss-
sary. For example. they express TWEEN
ty-two by saying. two on the second
man." thirty-ssven By "two toes on the
second mans FOOT" forty 10 'the whole
Of q second man." According to DR..
hansen they cannot or at least do not,
count beyond 100. which 10 "ths whole
OF the NTH man."
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04
"a n, n N. FoadicF. 400 to %

TO M. and Mrs. Fosdicf, $500 to Co
linda and Clara and $4,000 to Marie.
Show strange that she did not nen1
tion her farm in Vermontl She nag
not spoken of disposing Of it; but peri
haps she has done so and this money
is the price. Still, I should Thought
she would have mentioned it" salo
Marie to Abner.
The next morning it was raining as
Marie stepped into the darkeneo
porch.
sThere's o chance for your new
umbrella, Abner," said Marie, smiling
q little. He answered with a look
which showed nc signs of otfense.
tNow, Abner, we must make ar
fangements for you to have more help.
We can do it now. You have orked
too hard. / shall never forget your
faithfulness and you shall be paid as
far as money is concerned. Most
young men would have gone away n
left us in such straits"
81 don't know who could leave yon,
Marie" he said, with an earnestness
which made her cheeks flush just
then Celinda called from the dining
room:
81 want to go out, Marie. Ny UNI
brells is broken, and SO is pas Can't
l take yours?"
Eyes, came the reply, and they
watched Celinda and Clara as they
waded persistently through the little
puddles between the door and gate.
81 think I'll take my new one" said
Abner, and he soonreappeared with it.
As he opened it q large paper fell to
the floor from the inner folds and q
folded note also fell out. Abner read
the note first:
'sTo Abner Mason , I hain't watchedSyou
all summer for nothin', an I've made upmy
mind that what is yours will be pretty likely
to be Marie's, too. So l hereby give you the
deed Of my farm In Vermont. know you
will make good use OF It. Keep the old nun
berel In remembrance of me.
"TABIrHA smNDs."
1t was several moments before the
young people could speak, and then
Abner said:
sis it true, Marie? Will you lie,
what il mine be yours?"
Marie's answer was tesrfully but
happily given.
'sBut we will not leave father and
mother at present"
"Surely not-but by and by we can
make our plans"
When the winter SHOWS came they
fell upon the graves of the agedconple
to whom sickness could come no more,
and in the early spring Abner and
Marie went to their new home. The
old brown umbrella was carefully pre-
served as a most precious relio-Chi
cago News.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04
o 40 A W Y


"When Rigf1, Zen Beat You When
wrons, You Must Be Careful
"Abraham lincoln" said Senator
Voorhees, recczty, was known TO me
long before he ever came TO the White
House, or l dreamed Of Congress, l
remember him when / was q young man
hs q tall, angular figure, with q shaggy
lhock Of dark hair, who used to ride
lhe circuit an q lawyer, and whose
business occasionally brought him o.
Far as my bailiwick IN Indiana Even
IN an early day Lincoln had considara-
Die fame as q successful trial lawyer
He told stories as effectively then IN
DO did IN after years when, as a Prost
lent his stories were bound to be q auo-
sess. BE was . singularly good taIker
30 turies, ana had that convincing gift
which few msn possess Of talking with
his audience rather than to n Most
speakers taIk to an audience. Lfn-
coin talked with hiA and that With htL
homely rhetoric, through which ran an
eternal current Of sentiment IA tho
real secret Of his victories.
Few lawyers cared 70 most Lincoln
On even terms. Even when he had q
weak case he was dangerous Douglas
once said Of him. when lincoln 10
right you can't beat him, whom he 10
wrong you must be id careful or hon
beat you. This makes q strong ma Of
lincoln Douglas was right, and tho
history Of his later collisions With Lin
coin on the stump, and final great con-
test with him at the ballot box, might
20 . long ways toward proving It
Lincoln was q man Of tremendous
physical strength. He had long, gorilla.
like arms, and was as powerful as Ar
ogre. In his younger days be had great
fame as q wrestler. It was the COM
mon practice Of lawyers in that day to
put In the loon hour in wrestling, leap.
Ing and running. The members Of the
bar an we'll known for their wrest.
ing as for their strength before judge
and Jury. Lincoln was unQusstioDably
the champion wrestler Of his time and
circuit No one ever succeeded In act.
ting him on his back. with Lincoln's
strength and facility for physical e.
~ercises, 1t should be no wonder that be
was a famous rail splitter" a..
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04
One MissIng Link.


att is not true" remarked the learned
play actor, "that Shakespeare created
all kinds of characters, for I do not find
In his dramas any characters that bear
any resemblance to the great Ameri-
cans who have figured In our country's
history. There Is not In all of them
even the shadow Of a personality like
Abraham Lincoln, than whom there Is
not a finer theme for some future Amer
lean dramatist, able to Illustrate the
scenes In his career, from the Kentucky
log cabin to the theater in which he
was assassinated. Shakespeare has no
George Washington, no Andrew Jack
son, none of our heroes or sages, none
Of our many unique notables and none
Of our wondersome women. His crea-
lions belong to many countries, but he
never gives q forecast Of the peculiar
American product which came into ex'
istence centuries after his death.
Few Of Shakspeare's characters
would ever have been tolerated in this
country. We could not have Falstaif
among us, or Macbeth, or Lear, or Call.
ban. or the ghost of Hamlet's father, OF
Ophelia. much less any Of his royal OF
classical characters.
"We have plenty Of Americans
worthy of dramatic honors, fitted fol-
the tragedy, the comedy, or the histor'
icai play, totally different in their traits
and deeds from the shakspearean peo.
pie, and the like Of whom were never
suggested Dr. f~orsshadowed by shaks
peare. The oft-repeatsd statement thai
the play writer Of Stratford conceived
and drew all types Of human nature
and all varieties Of human life is a &c
hon. Should q man Of his genius evei
be born in the United States he would
find here an abundance Of material fol
dramas as grand a eve were written
New York Sun.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04

Take smooth, medium-sized pota-
to, wash and cut the small end partly
of, leaving just enough attached to
form a little hinge. Scoop out part
of the raw potato and fill with beef or
mutton that has been prepared by re-
moving all .gristle and fat, chopped
very fine and seasoned. When flled
tie the potato cover ON, and bake
until tender. When done, take from
the oven, raise the cover, and, If the
meat looks dry, turn over it a little
dressing made with butter, water and
-four, or, If there is any on hand, o
little meat gravy. Serve in the skin,
and, as its name suggests, it will be q
tempting surprise. Or, for a change,
simply bake the potato and when done
cut off the little end and scoop out all
the inside, season this with butter,
salt and chopped celery; beat up fine
and light, then refill the skin and
serve.-Detroit Free Press.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04
,nurr1no AvAY PROM MAMlGE

Running away from mamma.
Bareheaded u pthe street,
Kicking the dust into yellow smoke
with little roguish feet.
Tossing 1t over his clean white dress
Into his stocking heels,
Checking the little wooden horse
That trundles along on wheels.
Dreaming away with wide blue eyes,
And specializing Why
God won't give him the golden ball
That drops In the quivering sky.
What ia the use ofthat pretty pink cloud,
Sailing away 80 high.
nhe can have q ride In ~
And MS no use totry.
II that woman grew with glasses on,
II this house IL papa's;
Why that mica red COW won't talk him
Looking across the barr.
Into the neighbors' gates and doors,
Under their cherry trees,
Into mischief and out again,
Wherever he may please.
Wandering at last to the old church steps,
Little horse and all,
Climbing up laboriously-
Too bad II he should fall
Pushing in with dimpled hands
The great doors strong and tall,
Letting the warm, sweet summer light
Slide down the Swallowed wall.
Standing still in the solemn hush
OF chancel, nave and dome,
Thinking 1t is prettier
Than the sitting room at home.
Not a bit afraid, ali no, indeed,
OF the shadows vast and dim,
Quite at home, and sure 1t was made
All on purpose for him.
The old, old story ZONES up to me
Written 30 long ago,
About the heavenly temple,
Where you and / must go,
The beautiful waiting temple,
That has no room for sin-
Something about a little child
And the way Of entering In.
Boston Transcript.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04

There Ia more Catayrh in this ~seotionsot the
country than all other diseases put together,
and until the last few years was supposed to be
inourable. For q great many years doctors pro.
remedies, and by constantly failing to cure
with local treatment, pronounced 1t fncurable.
Science has proven caterrh to be o oonstitu-
tional treatment. Halls Catarrh Cure, man
ufactured by f. J. Cheney d 90, Toledo, Ohio,
Is the only constitutional cure en- the market.
1t Is taken internally in doses from l0drops to
q teaspoonful. 1t acts directly on the blood
and mucous surfaces Of the system. They offer
one hundred dollars for any case 1t falls to
cure. Send for circulars and testimonials
Z. J. CHENEY 8 Co., Toledo, O.
ED- Sold by Druggists. 75c.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04
usrso srArr nRnAp.

Bread pudding with cherries Is one
OF Mrs. Rorer's ingenious methods OF
usin9 stale bread. Put one cupful
lone half pint milk in q double boil
Ell, When hot add two ounces Of stale
bread crumbs, q grated rind of lemon,
one tablespoonful butter. Cook ten
minutes. Beat two eggs, without sep
arsting /; add four tnblespoonfals sugar
and another cup of milk; add these
now to the boiler, then turn into 9
creased baking dish, sprinkle with
dried cherries and bake in q moder.
ate oven until q golden brown. Serve
hot. York Observer.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04
simple Remedy for POISON Ivy.

A correspondent wrttasi "As many
d your readers are OF or going to the
country. where not a few are likely to
become victims to the poison oak (poa-
con ash and poison ivy are its aliasesl,
tel them that the best and almost al
ways ~unfailing remedy ID crude pstro,
sum - . lotion l have seen . chtsd
whose Nae was terribly swollen ana
Elshorted. and whose ~sufferfngs were
gitaebla. alnost iystAntiy ralisvsd and
Kept comfortable until ne inaamsAA,
y1A I'D ra4ss1 away
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04

window shades that are pulled down
their entire length and busted regu-
larly will preserve their fresh appear.
ancs and last twice as long as those
that receive no such attention. Dust
helps to rot the shades, and If the shade
becomes spotted with the rain the dust
leaves an unsightlY mark.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04

A lady Of Neuhaldensleben, Ger.
many, who died last month, has ; be
queathed the sum of $1,000 to a subal
tern officer who, during the battle Of
Mars-la-Tour, twenty-five years ago,
carried her wounded brother from the
field.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04

Alderman John Sheehsn, Of Buffalo,
N. Y, saved a Polack's life. The Pole,
to prove his gratitude, offered sheehan
his baby boy as a gift, explaining that
he was poor and had nothing else.
Sheehan declined with thanks.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04

'Mrs Brown never sits up to wait for
der husband"
"Nof"
mo When she expects him to be out
hts she redres early, sets the alarm
iiock at 8 o'clock and gets mp refreshed
md rsproachful."-Lfe.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04
He Makes Both Ends Meat.

81 don't know Of another beast" OBJ
Ierved the Hog. who Ia abba to make
10Th ends meat"
He was obliged, however, to explain
mat he meant headcheese and picked
,Igs' feet before the fun favor Of his
ION mot was appreciatcd.--Detrott
tribune.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04

A GOULD Of the Sleepless'' is pro
posed by q victim in insomnia in an
English church paper. The proposer
suggests a plan for utilizing the sleep
less hours by systematic meditation
and prayer.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04
HOUSEHOLD ArRAzEs.
BANANA sourrLHa

Peel and pound six bananas TO q
puIp; mix with it the juice Of two
lemons, rub Il through 3 sieve, add a
pint of whipped cream sweetened, then
freeze. Have ready some paper soufie
cases; pack the bansna-ice into these
in q charged ~ice-csve, for two and q
half hours. To serve, remove the ex-
ira paper bands and lay Q c~rystallized
violet on each soufHe. New York
Ledger.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04

Remarkable is the case of the sew
enty-seven-year-old citizen of Neat
Falls, Wash, who is growing young
again. His hair is changing from
white to black, his eye brightens and
his muscles are as timber, as an ang le-
worms.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04
Amount. - ~. 6...N,..

Arnounts TO the eame rhinG.
Mt. Bilkins-What q sad face that
roman has.
Mrs. Bilkins-Yea poor thing. she
las either loved and lost or ioved kn0
tot hin.-Texss slftings.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04

The Pueblo Indians are a moral race.
They have resisted all attempts of ira
ders to introduce whisky and playing
cards in the midst of them.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04
AUNT TABBY'S UMBRELLA

Of the three
Fosdick girls as
pired to wealth and
social. position.
They claimed 9
few rich relatives,
who visited then
occasionally and
raved v e the
'1ovely fields" and
darling cows.
but nevertheless
would have suf'
fered the pangs o.
hunoer before they
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04

In England there is one divorce to
SIT marriages; in France n to eighty
seven marriages, and in the city of
Paris one to thirteen marriages.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04

MrA McBride-John, dear, why are
soms grocers called green grocorsf
Mr.. McBride-To distinguish them
rom cash grocers. dear.-Exchanao
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04
ASSIST

a little nov ana then
in removing offend
ing matter from the
stomach and bowels
and you thereby
avoid a multitude
of distressing de-
engagements and dis
eases, and will have
less frequent need
of your DOCTORS
service.
of all known
agents for this pur-
pose, DR.. Pierce's
Pleasant Pellets are
the best. Once
used, they are ale
a in favor.
The Pellets cure
bilious sick
and bilious head
ache, dizzines cos
%tiveness, or const.
patton, sour storm
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for children
\ ton, allays pain. cures wind collie. zoe q bottle
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04

FITS stopped free oy DIR. KLrNE's GREAT
NrRyn RnsroRER. No ats after first days nse-
Marvellous cures. Treatise and q 90 trial bot.
tie free. DR.. Kline. o3i Arch St. Phtla-, IA.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04
A lady of NeuhaldensIebep.

After SIX years' suffering, I was cured by Piso's
Cufe.-MARY THOMSON, % IL Ohio ave., ALE.
gheny, Pa, March 10, "a.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04

A Chicago parrot was caught In the
act of turning in a fire alarm. He had
already called up the police and a liv'
cry stable.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04

ach, loss OF appetite, coated tongue, indi-
g%estion, or dyspepsia, windy ~belchings,
=" Heartburn" pain and distress after eat
ing, and kindred arrangements of the
liver. stomach and bowels.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04

Dr.. Kilmers SwA Mr-Roor curei
all Kidney and Bladder troubles
Pamphlet and Consultation free
Laboratory Biughamton. N. Y.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04

needs no magic elixir. 1t only requires q litti,
daily care OF the health. Ripans Tabules reduce
dootoring to its lowest cost.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04

NOS an Unaixed Hvtls
hs-so you think ! am drinking too
nuchf
shs-N9 but I think you wlz kin
oursslf u you keep on-Llf&
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04

For . dinner pill and general family cathartic
we confidently Recommend Hoods Pills.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04
Peculiar

In combination, proportion and process,
Hoods S~arsaparilIa possesses peculiar
curative powers unknown to any other
preparation. This is why it has a record
OF cures unequalled in the history Of
medicine. 1t acts directly upon the blood
and by makingitpure, rich and healthy
it cures disease and gives good health.
Hoods ~SarsapariHa
Is the only true blood purifier prominent
ly in the public eye today. 81; six for IS.
The Penn's Grove record., 1895-10-04
THE FLOWER OF soRRow

Summer comes and summer goes,
But all months Of all years
There IL falling OF tears
Summer comes and summer goes,
All hours are grIefs, and the sower sows
To-day and tomorrow
The Flower of Sorrow
Buds and blows.
John Vance Cheney, in Century Magazine