Kansas City daily journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1892-1897, 1895-03-11
MY FIRST MUSTACHE.
Electrical sensations-i,ut the Jokes and
,Iibes scared Them Away.

/ 'iptN tWuy.
remember it as though it had occurred
| but yesterday, and what my sensations
| were when, waking at early morning |
| casually put some Of my tongue out on my
upper up and experienced a soft little elec-
trical surprise. once, when | came to be
| an older man, | was struck by lightning
anh rendered numb for quite q period, but
that didn't begin to compare with the thrill
that launched through me now as trailed
9Hl my tongue u second time TO make sure.
my Knees wobbing a good deal. for ] had
ptcn praying FOR this mustaChe ever since
] graduated from the high school
.Ihere II was, the dnintlest, fantest bud
OF 4 suggestion, yet full OF promise.
rubbed some more cold cream on 1t and
"Bilrs' gotter mustashr yelled my broth
er, a boy of Keen perccptive faculties, but
kicked him under the table, but he
areW IN his knees, sudden-likc, and not
fetching up whore had intended, my leg
shot clear across under the table, closely
followed by myself, and ! must have gone
quite out Of sight but for my chin. which
the whole lower end of my face In the
saucer of oatmeal which mother had just
put down there.
Zee, said father in his kludest manner
II was cup with little cross piece let
~ al one side, to keep your mustache from
HraEEHnE down inside Of 1t and making the
Goitee riley" l think 1t was the only one
IN our town at that time, FOR new fashions
penetrated slowly TO our little corner OF
the world, ana had often told myself that
J would give my right arm to be able 10
GFlnk out OF IT, aud yet when father prof
Tered IL to me In that ostentatiously kindly
fashion, / blushed, TIL mother arose and
pulled down the curtain, thinking it was
the morning sun shining across the table.
-, called IN at the crockcry store on my
way down town, to see If | could get one
OF those cups for my very own.
IL want to look at your-your cups for
gentlemen" I stammcred.
The crockery man beamed inquringly
look of more than Intelligence slid into his
Gouhtehance, ana he reached down a gaud-
Iiy gilt monstrosity, built thick for pound
ing upon the table, and with a handle like
a butCh Jug. SPRAYING across its front in
scfagsiy letters. bla2el the legend:
FOR \ GOOD BOY.
Years afterward that crockery man failed
own Ii plaae, but do not know that / care.
i, IL seemed to me that as | went through
the streets that morning people came ont
OF thHir shops and houses to look at me,
was was known to everybody.
E,;NNsGptmg Fidelia.
We had grown up together, ar at lsae,
part way, for she was quite short of body
WhiIe broad. rich freckes CLEANED here
ana there athwart her countenance, and
SnJ S.Ini suffered a good deal, but she was
G,ri you couldn't help liking after you got
The hardest trials came to me at the
store ! remember. where, at "a modest
Stipend, bestowed my clcrkIy services, ana
Mhefe the rlGicule of my fellow clerks burst
IN storm about my head no sooner thar
had got inside the door-I think / was mir
bbosrts a trame ne Iate' Tor pride seethed in my
ne5Il. ~ was the first mustache the shon
naI produced, though 1t had tried hard
SonIdnt @ e'g ,e, H. hor, or at Least tried to, but
aGrstahd, being the first day.
wouldn't think It possible that so many
aH'hgs s 9sr.. eoGd De- said about one mustache
ES 10 NSIs % cried out in that store that morn
.iiGi1iokes mat ] now suppose to have
laken ,i,.. their rise with the original mustache
stars sang together, which is quite differ.
pay them double saiaries"jokess wbSicb Scbh
have annually appeared in tho nevs,,aTnri @Isgn
IIlnec, bnt which, We're new to me then. and
! ,lTiarEi niarEieled at the ingenuity OF man, par
bring customer around to the iannel de-.
partment, where 1t was my province to
neither shrink nor fade, and cali his oatt atI
tenti2n TO my upper lip, and the customer
wouiq Won utter bon-mot that apparently
WaS n porn on the instant, and then laugh
nj ,t, tiiPi PIX ! bore mis- ribaldry as well as
llshed certain evidence that had mus
tache which the world was taking coeni-
%ahce n, .i, OF, ana my pride was battered by ii.
llangh' ana forgave the clerk who opened
r"NeS 10y aH4 who noting, me frr,iva!y stsok-
looking came clear across the floor to
prefer me little Instrument he used to
Ing that 1 would Gnd It nuts for ketchi6g
nolt'-those We're his words-but, when
tn, the ,yyoung man who was hired to direct
ordered PIN 30 into the ha2hnci h2htS'Rs depaTt aaH
brush and deSteroGsiy K sKetdRed RSH '9oE dar5 nlS
piInG streak over my lip, and shrielled
off ner throne and / fell upon that scotin
drel and pulled him down on top of me
and put my hair into both his hands and
floor, until his arms were exhausted with
me me violence OF my motions. When they