The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1895-02-06
HUMOROUS.

lou KNOW tnc HSn NOOK IL tne cause
of many sinful, awful yarnsP Yes; /;
it's nuisance something to a-bait.
'Such matters must be minced
eaid the butcher as he dropped a cat
into the chopper
Billing and cooling hourishes during
the honeymoon. Afterwards the bill
ing sometimes stops the cooling.
Clara-So Lottie ia married? Is
she perfectly happy do you think9
Florence--Oh, dear, yes; am sure
so. Her troussenu was faultless.
Raoul-I had dog who attacked
all the rascals. His Friend-What
did you do with him? Raoul-I had
to get rid of him. He was everlast-
ilgly biting me.
Servant Maid lin breothless excite.
ment)-Professor, there's n burglar in
the dining-room Professor deeply
absorbed without looking up)-Tell
HIM I'm engaged.
"If my employer does not retraci
what he said to me this morning,
shall leave his store" "Why, what
did he say?" "He told me i could
look for another place"
"'But what can you do, young manl
Haven't you some special talent OF
taste-some bent ms they say?" APP
plicant (dubiously) -"N-no, not that
1 can think of-except that l am
little bow-legged.
First Tramp-Are you in favor Of
the income tax? Second Tramp
You bet l am. 1 go further'n that,
I'm in favor of given every man al
income to be taxed.
Sammy-Let's take this basket back
to grandma's now. Danny-No, sir
it's raining terribly out. 1 just came
in, and I've got one pair of wet feet,
an I'm not going to get another pain
of 'em.
"There, that will teach you what's
what" puffed the teacher, as she
banged the whipped boy back into his
seat. "I-I-I already knowed what's
what" sobbed the boy; its pro.
noun
In courting her he told her that
He'd die for her without misgiving,
Yet. married now and well insured,
He doth still persist in living.
Amy-Why did you marry Harry
who never sent you any presents, while
you refused Jack, who was always
giving You jewelry, candy, books and
the like? Mabel-Jack had spent all
his money.
"May I not, he pleaded, "kiss
those matchless lips?" "Not for an
instant" she rejoined, "can think OF
such thing" Patiently he waited
until an instant had elapsed, and was
duly rewarded.
Mother-Johnny, on your way home
from school step at the store and get
me stick of candy and bar of soap.
Father-What do you want of stick
of candy? Mother-That's SO he'll
remember the soap.
First Lobster-It's getting lone
some here now with all the society
bathers gone. Second Lobster-Never
mind, we are liable to meet them after
supper this winter, and then we'll get
the rest of our fine work in.
Hardacres-You say that Whipple's
horse jumped that ditch? That was
wonderful jump. Huntley-Yes; but
1t was nothing to the one Whipple
made. He landed at least twenty
feet farther on than the horse did.
Mother-I gave you ten cents to be
good yesterday, and today you are
just trying to show how bad you can
be. Willie-Yes, but am just trying
to show you today that you got the
worth of your money yesterday.
Miss Latest Fad-The beauty books
say every woman should have hobby.
Miss Growing Older-What is wor-
rylng me more than anything else just
now is the fact that should have a
chubby. "-Pittsburg Dispatch.
Mrs. Watts-Isn't it in Turkey that
woman is not allowed to see her hus.
band until the day of the wedding?"
Mrs. Potts-I don't remember, but
anyway it is not much worse than the
American way of seeing SO little OF
him after marriage"
"Papa" inquired the EDITORS only
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