The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1895-03-27
All Sorts of Paragraphs.

gcs IN Spain, the ages OF tnc contract
ing parties are always given.
What wits we should be if we
only uttered the bright things We
think of when the occasion has passed.
If you get mad, 60 to the look
ing-glaas and watch yourself growl,
and see how quick you will quit it.
A farmer in Spartanburg says
that during the cold spell the teats of
one of his COWS froze, and the ends
turned black and dropped off.
- The Sac and Fox Indians arc said
to be the purest blooded red men in
the country. They neither marry nor
give in marriage outside their own
tribe.
- The word "humbug" is Of Irish
origin and means soft copper or worth
less money. 1t was originally applied
to the money issued by James Ii at
the Dublin mint.
-'I told her I'd never smoke
another cigar" he said softly, "and |
won't. A pipes enough for me" as
he gracefully drew match over the
leg of his trousers.
- Man Cat front door)-''I want to
see the boss of the house" Houser
-"Walk right up to the second story
back and tell the nurse to show you
the baby
Magistrate: "You are charged
with playing cards for money. What
have you to say p Prisoner "Thc
charge is false, your Honor. It was
the fellow that skinned me that played
cards for money"
Photographic clocks, which YER
bally announce the hours Of the day,
are made in Germany. You can get a
clock that will speak in any Of the
modern languages.
- Young Arduppe: "Is it right to to
say deem or consider, Miss Arress?"
Miss Arress ooh, both are allowa-
bic. For instance, I deem you very
nice young man, but I cannot consider
you at all. F"
Lawyer-''What's that book you
are reading Law Student-"Ch,
it's work on common sense. Law
yer-"Yes, sir, and one day with such
a book as that would ruin your mind
for legal work forever.
A Florida Judge warned his peo-
pie in regard to coming into court in
toxicated, and used these words II
wish to put everybody on notice, that
if they come into this courtroom while
1 am sitting on this bench drunk,
they had better look out. ~
Out about Ashland, Kentucky.
some sort of disease is carrying off
men by the score. 1t begins in the
stomach and then attacks the throat
and the victim is choked to death.
1t is fatal in nearly every case. About
10 people have died in the Mud River
country.
Chambcrlain's Cough Remedy
gives the best satisfaction Of any
cough medicine [ handle, and as a
seller leads all other preparations in
this market. I recommend it because
it is the best medicine l ever handled
for coughs, colds and Group. A. w.
Baldridge. Millersvillc, III. For sale
by Hill Bros.
Beating a COW is brutal and
wrong, dcmoralizing alike to the
beater and the beaten, and it is no
more desirable with child than with
COW. No one was ever reformed or
made better by beating, while mil
lions have been taught to be detesta-
BILE by the process. Keep your tenn
per; don't get excited and don't be a
beater.
"A scientifc authority states that
by covering bullet with vaseline, it's
fight may be easily followed with the
eye from the time it leaves the muzzle
of the rifle until it strikes the target.
The course Of the bullet is marked by
ring of smoke, caused by the vase
line being ignited on leaving the muz-
zle of the gun.
= Success is wary thing. 1t can't
be caught with chaff, nor by sitting
still and waiting for it accidently to
pass our way. He who seeks it must
bait his hook with good bait, and rise
ND early in the morning to drop his
line in the stream of faithful endeavor.
The real wishes and needs of humanity
must be known.
= Mr.. Dumblcton, who is too eco
nomical to keep any extra collar but.
tons on hand, and who devotes good
share of his matin moments to hunt.
ing for these wayward essentials OF
male attire, startled his wife the other
morning by more than usual over
flow of emphatic language. "What is
the matter now p she exclaimed.
"Matter enough p he returned, with
series of paralytic gasps m 1--we
swallowed my collar button ''Thank
goodness p snapped Mrs. Dumbleton,
"for once in your life you know where
it is p
= "Gentlemen, I can't lie about
the horse he is blind in one eye,
said the auctioneer. The horse was
soon knocked down to citizen who
had been greatly struck by the auc'
tioncer's honesty. and after paying