The Windham County reformer. (Battleboro, Vt.) 1876-1897, 1895-09-27
tsLIMpSES OF LIFE.


w nat u Nerve.
The great manager scOwcd.
Ever lose any diamonds:'' he asked
Of the woman before him who wanted
to star.
| "No. -
Ever been mixed up in a newspaper
story
Indeed. mo-"
Ever get divorccd?'
NO, sir! My reputation is ire
| proachable. said she. with warmth.
well, you've got nerve to come
Ia me and ask me to star you with
| all those disadvantages" and then he
! plunged into new play.
| 4 Convenience ofTravei
! They had ribbons all over their hug
gage and the young woman's back
hair was full of rice.
| The porter approached the happy
| looking young man, and said:
Dab s present fob you. wifi de
condiments Of de road. -
What is it,
"A map and a time table.
"Ah thank you. And what are
these marks in blue pencil:''
Dem is the important paht. sab.
Dcy shows jcs' whah de tunnels is. =
Ayers Sarsaparilla is not secret
preparation. Any physician may have
the formula on application. The secret
Of its success as a medicine lies in It's
extraordinary power 10 cleanse the
blood of impurities and cure the most
deep seated eases of blood disease,
sympathetic Nature.
He Why does my darling weep"
She Because Mr.. Jones has given
to his wife diamond breastpin that
cost him 500. -
but why does that make you cry"
"On your account
"On my account
Eyes. know how it hurts you Ia
spend money and You will have To-
buy me q diamond brcastpin that costs
more than 500. - Texas Siftings,
CapitaIIstic Meanness.
O'Flahcrty: Sure, the dirthy name
ness Of Thin capitalists does bate all.
Bostwick; Why | heard that the
company had voluntarily raised your
wages ten per cent
O'Flahcrty: That's iist phat they
done, an niver gev us the chance To
go on strike first
Mistress don't want you to have
so much company. You have more call
Domestic ~" Well. mum, perhaps il
you'd try to be little more agreeable
you'd have as many friends as | have. -
New York journal.
buckingham Dye for the Whiskers
is the best, handiest, safest. surest, |
most economical and satisfac
tory dye ever invented. 1t is the gen
tlemen's favorite. adv.
These firemcn must be frivolous |
set, - said Mr.. Spilkins, who was read,
ing paper. why sou | read in
the paper that after fire was under
control the firemcn played all night on
the ruins. Why didn't they 60 home
and go to bed like sensible men, in
stead of romping about like children?'
Texas Siftings.
"lf understand the latest slang of
the hour said A gentleman famed
for his eloquence and learning recently
at dinner, | should say you were off
your trolley" "Oh, father, that's
Did, interrupted the ten year-old who
had been allowed down at the table.
you mean he's got puncture in his
fire. y Philadelphia Press.
Henry, you look worried what is
The trouble?
| was stung to the quick by an adder
his afternoon.
Heavens. How did it happen?"
"Why, | went to the bank this after
noon, and the bank clerk. afrer adding
Up the ledger, told me my account was
,ver drawn. III Erie Messenger.
Al
.irl | ever heard of.
Miss Keedick: What makes you say
hat?
Miss Fosdicll: The silly thing
links she would look attractive in
boomers.
The Summer Girl-Oh | love TO hear
'ou read your poems. 1t makes me
ealize how brave you are. Poet
5rave? Girl-les, brave: you said
'ou took them yourself TO the publish
RS New York Ledger.
The best is what you want when you are in
,ced of a medicine That il why YOU should