davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05
GRAND OLD PARTY.
MORTGAGES NEITHER A CURSE
NOR A BURDEN.
N Calamity HOwler's Pet Bogie a
Creature of the Imagination-The
Old Soldiers Sacrificed to Benefit the
Fifty-third Congress.

The progress OF the investigation of
mortgage Indebtedness in Minnesota, by
the bureau of labor, has been followed
by the ST. Paul Pioneer Press with in
terest. 1t is now complete; and the re-
suits exhibit conclusively that mortgage
Indebtedness is not the curse and burden
upon the farmer that the calamity howl
ers would have it. On the contrary, it
appears to be the regular and we'll I'M
derstood means by which the poor man
acquires II improves his holding;
increasing where the increase of new
settlement is largest, and decreasing in
the older portions of the state. as farm
ers begin to put their savings into the
paying of debts instead of into better
ments. h mortgage foreclosure is a
pugbea to the city Spectator and city
investor, and to a few of those who
deal in acre properties not only for i'm
provement but for a flyer in the market.
10 the actual farmer it's terrors are
mostly imaginary, save where there has
been drought or the chinch bug or the
hailstorm or some other destructive
visitation of u~npreventable calamity.
The total farm mortgage debt of Min
nesota, according to Commissioner Pow
"oo
600 on the first day of 1890, being an in
crease of between SO, 000, 900 and $4,000
oUO In the preceding ten years. But not
only We're these years of vast develop
ment to the state, years when an enor-
nous acreage was added to it's titled
area, requiring the investment of much
new capital, but they were years in
Which the farmers had added to their
~our improvements and machinery
TO the amount of $3,S26, $50, and live
stock valued at s26, 800, 1862; while the
value of their properties had increased
over $146, coo, 900. It is estimated that
the foreclosures on farm property in
1892 n 1898 were from 40 to 80 per cent
less than they were ten years before.
AT the present time the mount Of fore
closing is very small. The older agri-
cultural counties are putting one in
the savings banks. In the newer there
is the same struggle for existence that
there must be wherever man attacks
the raw resources of nature without
capital of his own. But it is a struggle
less against debt than it is for an as
sured independent livelihood; and it is
one which, with intelligence and indus
try, is in no wise In doubt. Mr.. Powers
has done a valuable service to the state
In collecting the figures which show the
promise of Minnesota agriculture under
conditions which were far from the most
favorable.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05
Almost a Veto.

The country is just made aware Of
the narrow escape it has had from a
great calamity. 1t is given out on the
aL-hority of a cabinet officer" that on
Sunday, March 8, the president was
on the very brink of vetoing the sun
dry civil and general deficiency bills,
and hen ~summoning a special session
of congress. What particular items in
the said bills excited his animosity and
stirred his indignation we are not told.
1t is not often that the president al
most does a thing and doesn't do it.
He is not constructed that way. When
his mind is once set in motion in a given
direction it moves with a good deal of
momentum and is not easily arrested
or turned aside.
But in this case, it would seem, the
cabinet, which was in session, rushed
in and threw themselves in front of the
president, so to speak, n derailed him
and saved the country.
It gives one the cold shivers" just
to think what a narrow escape We had.
We a heard of children playing on
the slopes of Vesuvius, heedlessly pluck
ing flowers. while the imprisoned giant
below is turning himself restlessly, pre-
pairing to vomit forth floods of scorch-
ing lava. So needless and SO uncon-
scious were the denizens of the capital
and the people of this country on that
critical Sunday morning-Detroit Trib-
une.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05

An amusing toy, easy to make and
worth the trouble of making, is the
bugaboo brownie. Boys often find the
hours Of a rainy night hanging heavily
on their hands. Here is something te
make n forget that the dark hours
before bed time are dreary. Obtain g
~rosy-cheeked apple. Stick two ladies
hat pins through the apple, close to.
gether; these form the big eyes of the
roly-poly face. Below the hat pin optics
stick a row of ordinary pins. These
form the teeth. Stick a spool atop OF
the apple where the stem comes out;
this is the hat. Into the under side OF
the fruit insert three long strips of wire
not too plant, and stout enough to beal
the weight of the apple. Cut a piece OF
cloth in the form of a loose
robe Twist up the ends Of
the wire and there's your brownie
no, the bugaboo's nose is missingi This
is a simple peg. Nc need to say where
1T is to be placed. When the brownie is
quite himself, he may be stood up on the
table cloth and by scratching the cloth
In front Of the figure it will walk, dance
or wobble toward the finger. A great
parsonage, this bugaboo brownie.-NeW
Orleans Picayune.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05
Mr.. Cleveland, "Deadhead."

A president of the United States. espe-
cially one who is rich. should be ashamed
to practice the "deadhead" business.
Mr.. Cleveland, however, seems to be as
callous in this respect as in others. If
reports are trustworthy, his recent duck
hunting trip was undertaken wholly
at h expense of the federal treasury.
He not only employed a government
vessel on his junketing expedition, but
he took navy officers and an army sur
geon along with him.
What right has Grover Cleveland any
more than another public servant to
appropriate a government vessel and
the time of government officials to his
private purposes? So far as the army
surgeon is concerned, the action Of Mr..
Cleveland is contemplate. This person
is stationed at Washington in order to
give the families Of army officers medi-
cal attendance free, and while he is
away from duty these officers are COM
PEELED to pay for medical services out
OF their meager salaries. Mr.. Cleveland
might just as well put his hands in the
pockets of these men and abstract for
his own benefit the sum which they are
thus forced to pay.
There is no excuse for "deadheadism"
on the part Of Mr.. Cleveland. Beside
being wealthy, he receives $50, 900 a year
from the government and the use of
the white house for a residence. In ad-
dition, a president Of the United States
should set a better example thar trying
to "beat his way" Such a thing may
be tolerated in a tramp, out it is totally
unbefitting the chief magistrate of a
great nation.-New York Advertiser.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05
SWEET CHARITY.
The Poor Appeal Wrung a
Ready Response from the Mechanic,

Ready Response from the Mechanic.
1t was in a Main street restaurant.
The clerks from the neighboring stores
and offices began pouring in for dinner.
While the waitress put a lamb-stew din
ner, with coffee and pie, in front of the
writer a man came in and sat down op-
posite, says the Cincinnati Tribune. By
his dress a casual observer would have
put him down as a mechanic, but his
hands were as soft as a woman's. He
ordered milk and rolls, and when he
had about half finished a young woman
came in. She was poorly clad, and,
hesitating for a moment at the first
table, she took courage, and going close
up to the table she spoke to the man
who was eating a big dinner. With
a frown he answered MOI" She was
disappointed and her looks showed it.
Then, her eyes falling on the mechanic
with the soft hands, she went up to him,
and with a voice that seemed full Of
sorrow she said:
won't you help me, sir?"
you bet I will. I'm a poor man and
I'm not eating a big dinner with this he
turned and scowled on the man who
was), but I'll help a poor girl from
starvation"
This speech, in a rather loud and ex-
cited voice, attracted the attention Of
everybody in the room and all saw him
lay a quarter or the table. The young
woman's gratefulness seemed to render
her speeches.. h took up the money
in an embarrassed manner, expressed
her thanks, and started to leave. Every
body had a coil in his hand by this time
and as each handed yer his donation
he scowled IN the man who had refused.
The poor young woman went out and
the mechanic" with the soft hands,
having finished his milk n rolls, paid
his bill and left, the hero of the hour.
The writer followed and a few yards up
the street two familiar figures met his
gaze. They We're the young woman and
the man who had ordered milk and
rolls. The pantomime was brief and
plain. She dumped a handful of small
change in his hand and they started
down Main street together.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05
A Musical Item,

Here is a story from New Orleans
which must be taken as it stands. We
do not vouch for the truth of it. "Mu.
steal Shots" says the tale, "are the lat.
est among the sensations of New Or.
leans. A sharp-shooter of the name OF
Pardon fires at the metal bars of a sci
of bells. The bullets, in striking the
bar, sound a musical note, and the shots
follow each other in such rapid success.
sion and with such accuracy that the
marksman is able to shoot any tune
that may be desired" The only thing
lacking in this story is some account
of Pardon's ability, which we presume
he must possess, to shoot chords with
ordinary bird-shot.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05

"With pleasure I viii state that hooos
Sarsaparilla has helped me wonderiuhy'
For several months I could not lie down 10
sleep on account of heart trouble and also
Prostitution of the Nerves.
For three years I had been doetorins, ous
could not get cured. 1 received relief 1or q
while, but not permanent. Soon after De-
ginning to take Hoods S~arsaparilla there
was q change for the better. In q short
time / was feeling splendidly. l now rest
well and am able to do work of whatever
kind. If 1 had not tried Hoods Sarsaparilla
l do not know what would have become OF
me. keep it in my house all the time, and
other members of the family take it, and all
say there is
Nothing Like Hoods
Sarsaparilla. 1 have highly recommended 1t
and one of my neighbors has commenced
taking it. recommend Hoods S~arsaparilla
at every opportunity" Mrs. s. BRAD
DOCK, 4O4 Erie Av., Williamsport, Pennsyl-
vania. Remember
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05
Two Teams.

Here is a really funny story which
will amuse all who are interested IN
football. On the occasion OF a great
match in one of the English countes'
between a number of military offlcers
and a team of barristers, the former
had prepared a splendid lunch for the
visitors before the game. Both teams
did thorough justice to the lunch' anu
the legal gentleman going in strong TOT
the indigestibles, the officers antlclpdt-
ed an easy victory. On looking toward
the football ground, however, AFTER
lunch, the officers espied a remarkably
fresh-looking lot Of giants kicking the
ball about, and, in amazement,
their guests who the strangers Were.
oh" replied n of them, just finish
ing his last mouthful, that's our play
ing team: we are only the ,unchlng
cam, you know"
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05
Bird with No Wing to Speak OF.

Ao "ieh Ao "iHS " EpCdN VIZ
If a child was asked what ability g
bird had which was not possessed by
other creatures, he would probably re.
ply "the power to fly" So a bird who
could not fly would seem to him a con.
tradiction; yet there is sue a bird, and
he is called the penguin.
The penguin does not fly, but he can
walk upon the land and swim in the
water. He swims in the water as a
duck does, and his pictures show him
to look moi unlike a duck when swim.
ming. But upon the land he sits in g
peculiar upright position. with his queer
little apologies for wings tucked close
to his side. Penguins inhabit the south.
ern seas and assemble together by thou.
sands, sitting in stiff rows along the
shore or walking in the same strange
upright position. The penguin subsists
as might be expected, Upon fish, which
he swallows whole.
The penguin makes no nest. The
mother lays but one egg at a time and
carries this about with her under hel
absurd little wing or under her leg, as
some naturalists say. In his style she
takes good care of it until the baby
penguin appears, when both parents &c
out n fish for his sustenance. With
two parents working for one child. the
baby penguin should be we'll provided
for, and he probably is.
There are many varieties of penguins
their habits and appearance being much
alike. They are very noisy birds, max.
ing a harsh, braying sound. They are
not afraid of men and show a disposi.
ton to fight if molested. These birds
are about three feet high.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05
The Roof Saved Him.

The Irishman who went up in the
hotel lift without knowing what it wa:
did not easily get over his surprise.
He tells the story in this way:
." went to the hotel, and says I: Is
Mr.. Smith in?'
Says h man with the sojer cap,
VIII yer step in?'
so I steps into the office and all Of a
suddint ne pulls the rope and the walls
OF the building began rinnin' down to
the cellar.
"'Och, murther,' says I, 'what'll be.
come of Bridget and the childer which
was left below there?'
Says he:
"'Be aisy, sor; they'll be all right
When yez come down.
"Come down, is it?' says I, and it's
no office, but a haythenish balloon that
yez got me in
And wild that the walls stood stock
still and he opened the door and there
L was with the roof just over my head
and begorra that's what saved me from
going up to the hivins entoirely."-Dub
lin Journal.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05
Anecdote OF Nelson.

A very pretty anecdote is told of LORD
Nelson, the hero of the battle Of Trafal-
gar. Besides being a great ommanoe
and a brave man, Nelson was OF the
truest of friends, and while he was as
fond as all other remarkable men of the
praise which good and heroic DEEDS
merit, he knew so little Of jealousy that
ne always wished others to have their
NEED of praise as well as himself.
Presented to King George III. of Eng
land at one of the royal levees, his ma
jesty congratulated the admiral upon
his tremendous victories, closing with
a few sympathetic remarks about the
admiral'S loss Of his arm.
Nelson bowed his acknowledgements,
and then, turning about, presented his
friend and companion in many hot
fights, Captain Berry.
""The loss of my arm, your majesty"
he said, ''is not so great as you imagine,
for here is my right hand"
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05
Robbed from the Pensioners.

But for the robbery of the pensioners
by the present administration the ap-
preparations by the late congress would
have exceeded those of the so-called
"~bil1ion-dollar congress" by forty seven
millions. AS it is, the late congress
appropriated five millions more thar
that which received the billion-dollar
label. Mr.. Cannon has shown I'D the
matter in a very striking light, but did
not go far enough by half in fixing the
responsibility for the detestable work
where it belongs.
Grover Cleveland has received much
abuse for the tenacity with which he
has chung to the members of the cabinet
hi he called around him. Half the
country could not understand what he
wanted Of some of them at least, but it
has been demonstrated by the incidental
outcroppings of time that he knew what
he was about. He had business for Car
Isle, and he had a special job for Hoke
Smith. How well they have performed
the wishes of their master everybody
knows. And with a halfway decent re-
gard for their faithful services he could
not part with them now.
This pension robbery was of vital i'm
portance in the carrying out of the pol
icies of Mr.. Cleveland. With the general
impoverishment of the people it would
not do to have 1t go on record that his
congress spent more of the people's
one than any that had ever preceded
it. There was no other source in which
such an enormous reduction of expense
could be mad at such little cost to the
democratic party. Besides, the amount
necessary to take in each case was COM
paratively small, and there would be no
great interest like the trusts, backed up
by money, to protest against the sum-
mary way of raising the wind for demo-
cratic buncombe. II took nerve to carry
out the plan, and it was best to have it
in the hands of a man whose prejudices
would naturally assist him in preserv-
ing the rigidity of his backbone.
Hoke Smith got the job, and did his
work so well that the last democratic
congress will go into history with an
expense record under the billion mark
but only by a scratch.-Kansas City
Journal.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05

by the wild creatures hat were in the
full enjoyment of unbroken solitude
Unfortunately the owls did not under.
stand the advancement Of settlement
and civilization. and attacked the tame
pigeons Of a neighboring farmer, com.
hitting such depredations among the
doves that one Of the birds of night was
shot for his misbehavior. The mate OF
the lost bird still fingers in the old grove
and sits solitary on the ancient oak
where so many winter nights were
pleasantly spent in company with hei
big-eyed companion.-Pilot MorEd
(Manitoba) Sentinel.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05
Anything Is Possible.

What with %mediating with two wars
in Asia and Africa, depressing a half
dozen revolutions in South America and
the West Indies, and nursing a bowling
neuralgia simultaneously Secretary
Gresham is as busy as a cat with six
skillets to lick. There is really no tell
ing what complications in the diplomat
ic relations of the country may not
arise under these trying circumstances.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05
Professional Market Woman.

The professional market woman is q
Philadelphia convenience for persons
who are too busy or too lazy to do theil
own marketing. There are several
women in hat quiet city who are OF
service to their sex in this way and who
make a comfortable living for them.
selves out of it. Every morning the pro.
fessional marketer start out with hel
notebook, visits her patrons, takes thei,
orders and repairs to the market, where
she superintends the filling of her Or.
ders. She charges a commission TO,
ma the purchases.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05
Too Much for Him.

Some small boys are said to have a
great horror of the bath-tub, and are
disposed to rebel whenever the time
comes for them to get into it. These at
least will appreciate the following an
aecdote, which We cut from an English
periodical:
"A young Scotchman at Aldershot
fell ill, and was sent to the hospital. A
bath was ordered. 1t was brought into
the chamber where the invalid lay. He
looked at it hard for some time, and
then threw up his hands and bawled,
oh, doctorl DOCTOR! I Gamma drink a.
Ahatr"
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05
Alast Poor Owl.

A pair of large brown owls Of a very
rare species have had their home in the
thick woods by the creek on our farm,
and for fifteen years, when the stars
<shone re~splendently during the long
winter nights, these hardy birds, warm
" clad in down and feathers, cheered
the passing hours with their strange,
solemn talk, understood only by them
selves. We had something like an at
tachnient for these owls; they formed
the only surviving link of a wild nature
that connected the present with the past
years when the prairies north OF the
hills were unsettled and inhabited only
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05
The Sparrows and the Chipmunk.

a young naturalist who is a close OBJ
server of birds tells this little story:
"One morning last summer, while
walking through N Of our parks, I
was attracted by a tremendous chatter
ing from a clump of bushes near the
pathway. It sounded as if a hundred
birds were having a fight over their
breakfast-for sparrows think that a
fat worm or a juicy bug is worth max
ing a great fuss about. I walked quick
dy n stealthily up to the bushes and
peeped in. It was not a worm which
caused the commotion, but something
bigger. A large flock of English spar
rows were flying about, screaming as
If they had gone mad and pecking saw
agely at intervals at some small animal,
which was running about on the ground.
1t was a poor little red chipmunk who
had excited their wrath. He was run
ming back and forth, evidently trying
to get away from his tormentors 1t was
of no use, for he was closely surrounded
by them, and he evidently was getting
weak in the unequal struggle. So I
drove away the sparrows and tried to
rescue the miserable little squirrel.
When the birds flew away the chip
munk still lay upon the ground and
seemed unable to move. 1 picked him
up in my hands. He was in a pitiable
condition. The sparrows had pulled
nearly every hair out of his tail. One
of his eyes was entirely pecked out, and
he was covered with cuts and wounds,
where the p~ugnacious little sparrows
had pecked and beaten him. Poor little
chippy! He was nearly dead, and evil
IDENTIFY in such suffering that he had to
be put out of his misery. We had Mr..
aChipmunk stuffed and put him on
the mantel-shelf for an ornament. He
looks much more happy there than he
did the day the quarrelsome little spar
rows pecked his life away. But what
it was that excited their wrath Mr..
Ehipnunk never told.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05
The Use of IT.

Among the many useless invention
thrust upon the world by people who
like to do useless things was a clock
once exhibited in Brussels. The pecul
lar thing about this clock was thai in.
stead Of striking the hours with a bell
it fired a pistol every hour
Its ingenious" said a visitor to the
exhibition; "but of what use is it? Why
fire a pistol?"
ITO kill time" said the witty inven'
for
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05
Another Kind of Poverty.

A Washington dispatch asserts pa
thetically that Secretary Gresham is
poor. That nay be, but it is not on
account of his poverty that Mr.. Ores
ham is not popular. 1t is because his
administration of the office was poor
that he fell from such esteem as he once
enjoyed.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05
They Look the Other Way.

The free-traders are exercising I'M
Wonted f~orbearance. They have never
once charged that strike of 200, 900 Eng
fish shoemakers to the tariff, as they
would have lone had it occurred any
where say in free-trade England.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05
To Obtain a Husband.

A Hungarian woman of rank and for.
tune has conceived an original way OF
obtaining a husband. She has peti.
toned the Hungarian finance minister
to permit her to issue a lottery Dan OF
700, 900 tickets Of one form each, WITH
her fair self as the capital prize! Ac.
cording to the conditions, the winner is
to marry the lady.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05
No Veterans Need Apply.

The duties of mail weigher could east
ly be discharged by old soldiers, but few
veterans will waste time nj postage
by applying to Mr.. Wilson for any Of
the 400 positions to be filed.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05
Profit by Our Experience.

Canada, with a debt already Upward
of $500, 900, 900, is scarcely in the right
condition to try q tariff reform" expert
ment, if one is to judge by the present
plight of the United States.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05
The Country Ereathes Freer.

1t is now safe to look for a steady i'm
provement in business. There will be
no more tinkering with the tariff, and
no more monkeying with the currency,
which is to a that the of a
democratic congress has been removed.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05
New Version,

For 10! the winter is past, the rain
is over and gone; the flowers appear on
the earth; he time of the singing Of
h birds is come, and the voice Of the
cuckoo is heard no more in our land"
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1895-04-05
An Old Stayer's Advice.

Old Player-When ley you try you
want to forget everything but that you
are on the stage.
Amateur Slipupp-That was just the
trouble; I did forget everything but
that.