The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-10-12
HIS INVENTION.
A Device to Insure Satisfaction with the
Decisions of UInpires.

~~HI@eA-=
The enthusiasm of genius burned in the
seedy man 5 eye as he entered the Office OF
the manager OF the great metropolitan ball
team.
Good morning, - he said in cheerful
tones. Il Have here something to which I
would like to call your attention. -
The manager stopped in his figuring up
Of averages and looked the man over, then
proceeded with his work. renarking:
Don't care to look at any new catchers'
masks. Haven't any use for rubber lined
bats on my team Don't take any stock in
Easements gloves with glue on EN-. Never
use patent creased trousers for base slid
ing. Couldn't use an automatic pitching
machine for practice If I had it. Baseball
novels are out Of my line. Have 10 wish
to look att
''This is not a patent machine or a book.
sir, said the soedy man softly. 1T is
little device of my own to insure satisfao-
ton with the decisions Of the umpire. -
VIGOROUSLY the manager looked at his
visitor, but the man showed no evidences
of tisordered brain. He interpreted the
glance.
No; I an. not crazy, . said he. "All
ask IS a fair consideration of my plan.
You have had trouble with your umpires
from time to time, 1 presumed"
1t Is no ezaggeration to say that, >" re-
piled the manager.
Crowd gets excited oceasionally?"
Yes; I've seen that happen too"
Calls the umpire names perhaps?''
IT'S quite possible
"AIaybe even hurts missiles at him?''
We'll I've seen things thrown at an
umpire, admitted tic baseball man.
Captains get mad and threaten to
punch holes in him?'
And be fines 'em 800 each. Then
there's trouble all round" sighed the
other.
well, my plan viii obviate ali that,
declared the seedy man. "Once use the
American umpire protector and convincor
of kickers, and you'll never have another
bit Of trouble. Now, here's She schemes:
Of course most Of the trouble comes on
close decisions on outs. Ny umpire pro-
tect0r consists in a small camera worn I'M
der the umplre's shirt, with the lens pro-
jccting. On a close decision the umpire
rushes forward toward the base, calls his
decision and at the critical moment presses
tho button. An instantaneous picture is
taken The crowd kicks, the players howl,
tho umpire sends his picture by an assist
ant to 4 convenient dark room, and by q
quick process it is developed in two min
utes. The players arc still kicking when
the picture is brought out and shown.
The plato cannot lie. There is the picture
OF the player wildly sliding to base, still
few inches away, while the other player
has the ball on him. Spectators can buy
copies Of the plates after the gamo at )
cents apiece and thus preserve the star
features Ofshe game. If the picture fails
to bear out the umpires decision, the de-
cision must be reversed. It's the greatest
scheme ever designed. Now I'm prepared
to hire ont next season to umpire games
by the Photographic process at $500 per
game OF at reduced rates for contract for
the season. What do you say?"
young man. said the manager sadly,
E'you are too bright and beautiful for life
in a sporting world. What you want to
do is TO devote your energies to a consid-
Grafton Of croquet."
And as tho scedy man walked slowly
out the manager returned to his figures
and tho attempt to convince himselfthat
even if his team did lose every other game
during the season it would still end in
front OF Tie tail cndors. York Sun.