davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-08-04
THE woRLD-rEFoRMER AND HIS
WIFE.

e,tS Farmer John 10 Joiner Ned;
come ptt a back door on my shed.
GAYS totner Ned to Farmer John:
n cannot put your back ooot "u'
,rhe Guild I'm Interested IN
Frer she adjustment OF SIN
,fsets ~ nv house this very day.
And 80 / cannot get away.
nyveu. after you've abolished sin
come Down tomorrow and begin
! want that hack door On my sltd,
S,fa Farmer John 20 JOINER Ncd.
.-r,,,,crro,v neither can I come.
,,.,,s r>rief,ds OF the Millennium
-, - a., ,he house Of Deacon Kent.
Ard am nrst vice president
wei then. next Wednesday, without
u.,., G2 ,nmr n,llenniuu's started out,
r,,st t.. ~ take tts course and sprcad;
Ana nut that back door on my shed
..t cod an essay "Wednesday. John.
Yecfora TIE culture club. upon
''rhe Easiest Method % Restore
,DuY T .ong-lost Eden Herr once Mofc.
To foster pcsCe. abolish war
And render virtue popular
NV sunsoNn. prompt ncNt "Wednesday
,rs th ,.r next THURSDAY morning. Nei.
come not that hack door on my Sned'
.o1,,, Anti Hunger CIuh convenes
-. -rhnrsssv Down 10 Hiram Green's,
srf have promised 90 CRATE
49,, how 20 crush and extirpate
Mans tendency for nsh ana meat
MS rroveling desire 10 cat
..r,,, won't Vou come down. ~ and by.
Nye,U sav two years from next JuiyF
Vc,-il have your various schemes put
YIN saN-s tha universe built new
.,,r,s Down. then. with yoUr tool-kit Ned.
And pat that hack door on my aned-
az ,hink !" SAYS Ned II ! take that ch2nce
- ,.,st will nav me IN advance;
Ear my wife saws that We ne no meat
- - aour IN che house In cat
,,s,fs 18Th may save domestic strife
Al" A'''' Sam Walter Tess.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-08-04
TaufaiiTing.

lnaaANh NpitS SpHf Aat+
Little Rastus was reading aloud for the
edifcatinn OF the rest Of the family from
his book OF fairy tales. lie began.
once there was a mock or chickens
which wandered after dark into a water
melon patch
see heah, boy his father interrupt
Cd ''W hen De preacher comes mex Sun
dav 7 gxine ask heem II dem words Is
reaIlv dar an II you deE ben maxim dat
IN fer 70 tantalize me. ! gwins dust 20
Jacket twell 20 tongue hang outt'
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-08-04

owing 20 the large demand fer the canal
-, ~ ga, Post-Intcll 3Eenccr. Il has been
s,,,,,t necessary go print an extra EDITION
- ,rs n seklv Post-lnfelllgencer. contain
ING a fuu description of ne Sealh ea'"i
t''N y. -, Economics attending the actual
-. ,..t-,.. ~ work Cosses can be had az
- b,,sir-ess offce. wrapped ready Cor
,.,afltne price. : cents.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-08-04

"Bllly." the son 81 a Ncw York lawyer.
f. "A large overgrown hoy, who attends 81
TsauFs academy al Concord. -. n. and
has a desire 70 Re placed on the football
team. consequently he allows his hair -
grow q Ia chrysanthemuTn.
Eie wore such ihatch last winter, az
the time that one ~ has favorite professors
died re vas sufficiently affected by the
death 70 lngars The news o. Il 10 his
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-08-04
Sc Had .tmdled Frcnch.

"Hays YOU any boa-vivant this morn
lnR?"'
Butcher Ronea VIA. mum2
''Bon-vivant. why. that's French for
good Hverw "
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-08-04
His Disqualification.

FnIfaH"TpUId ft"NHFHs
Reiily-Did Sc hear about Casey's hard
luck?
Royle-Oi did not Thwat Is it7
TITS tn yaller Jaunders he has. He
was goln' = help break up tn fardown's
parade on July r.. hut vas afeared he'd
be took fur an Orangeman."
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-08-04

mother on a postal card. He did as fol-
lows.
Dear Mother: Professor Is dead: and
what do you think his last words 20 ma
were? Billy. why don't you have your
hair cut? Your loving son. BILLY"
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-08-04

po~ IN Tho rnraJlne" and "serenta" viii
white away an idle hour. and the series
Of articles on The Evolution In Early
rtrlfar rttt sfifl rIins ON.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-08-04
Tic small BOYS Idea.
r.biiadeiphia Record.


Boy want 20 bury some paper.
I,eaIer-~W hat kind 81 paperg
Bov--r guess You better gimme fypaper.
I want 10 make kite.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-08-04
Acid Criticism.

lugtig9 Biaetter.
Ianaiord-Did you ever taste anything
TO match this Fcd wine7
Customer OH yes. only ths other
week + stuck the wrong end % the PEN
holder IN my mouth by mistake.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-08-04

Great Northern pa,a;ial steamers NaT'h-
v~@sr and Nor1hiand leave Pa-ata every
Monday and Friday. too h'hs - = ~ :
- ~ ,fsrktrac. uc.Co3t. Cleveland
- 49,, Re sure % get reserve ms
On these magnificent steamers. a. g : s0A'
street.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-08-04
No Doubt -he Took II.

PUCK
zones wife Is kicking about the milk
Arain." said the dairymGn's assistant.
That's all right replied the chief:
ON 20 around there myself tomorrow
and make her take water"
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-08-04

fsaisfe-.. =. VI z niia<elphiz. Or Law. r.
-, 80 "a, GeoFge kreer, q Whining
-. and Harold s439eu. az New r--s-is
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-08-04

..The OLD Dominion,

who Ike mild. pleasant smoke. should
Try the Old Dominion.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-08-04

the town OF waila Walla has already
raised 500 Of the $1,000 needed 20 Sc
cure Or Pearsons GIT aHu nc ~
CIV indication that the rest viii be
raised soon.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-08-04

Is ire lates. novelty IN cigarettes.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-08-04

60 - -. 80 -.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-08-04

TIE Ola favoratss can now be found -
every cisar store
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-08-04

s.oId Dominion" Cigarettes
Are now sold BY al leading dealers.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-08-04

MA9NSS!., ees. druggists , the
$50 cents OK is sent 10 e
psu ST.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-08-04

RIPANS TABULES

The Tabus universally
les, is always slight.
is in daily n
n
70 derng OF the stomach live ad
If organs b Yep danger of
Hines human with is rae directly to an S Tmmg
liver h perform is lie
tina their natural action is rhred
On is dose 1t Should e allowed wi a at me 1t tim
he o 1t d IS regulate " he need OF
long the caHut effect is strong
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1895-01-09
Watch Your wife!

Not lest she do some great wrong. but that you
prevent her suffering many of them. Watch her
that she suffer not from the any il sidious dis
cas- which aiict women, dragging lhem down
and enfcebling them till life becomes a burden,
and from which too few ere altogether exempt.
By getting her a bottle Of DR.. Pierce's Favoritc
Pr, scription. the great female restorative tonic
and nervine, You will furnsh her the means ia
alleviate and speedily cure "F cmalc Weakness y
dispacements. dragging pains. liberation, weak
back and geoeral debility, and the wan, jrd,
look y III give place to the rudy glow of health
before its innuenoo. DIR. Pierce guarantees q
cure, or Mickey refunded.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1895-01-09
No Relief for sugar Men.

WAsHIyGToS, Jan. 9.-ln refusing TO
grant "a maudamus to the Miles Sugar
Manufacturing and Planting company on
the treasury department requiring the
secretary and other proper officials to pay
bounty under the sugar bounty law, the
District court of appeals holds that the
repeal of the sugar bounty provisions of
the Mckinley act by the new tariff law
was immediate and complete and con-
tanned no exception or protection of any
right held at the time of the passage Of the
law by virtue of the provisions of the Me-
Kinlcy act. Consequently there remains
no duty that the respondents Carlisle
and Millcr) might or could lawfully per-
form. The only appeal now lies To the SUI
prcme court ofthe United States.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1895-01-09
Ben Rich at the Front in Kansas.

TOPEKA, Jan. 9.-Accortiing to the eau
Gus nomination c. +. Lobicll was elected
speaker of the house of representatives,
and other caucus nominees for the remain
ing placcs-all Republicans, and then
took recess to wait the governors pleas
urc. The incident of the senate organiza-
ton was the election of Ben Rich for read
ing clerk He was chief clerk of the
"Dunsmore' house and it was his arrest
two years ago tina; brought the legislative
war to a crisis. The governors message
will go in today and the Inauguration of
Governor Morrill, will take place on
the 18th inst.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1895-01-09
POOLING WITH OUR AFFAIRS AGAIN.
British Anti-Lynci,erS Pass Resolutions
Justin Mccarthy a Recruit.

LONDON, Jan. a.-Thc Anti-Lynching
committee, of which Miss Florence Bal
rarnic is secretary. is receiving acccssions
constantly. Justin Mccarthy, NJ T.,
and chairman of the Irish parliamentary
party, is the latest notable recruit. The
committee has adopted the following roso-
luton: The Anti-Lynching executive
committee having heard. from undoubted
sources in Memphis, Tenn, New York
and Boston, that jury at Memphis,
composed exclusively of whites, refused
to convict those of whose guilty com
plicity, according to the Memphis Com
mercial-Appeal, there was no doubt what
ever in the CHASTITY, cowardly and
brutal massacre of six help
less negroes near Millington, Tenn, and
having learned from William Lloyd Gar
rison, of Boston, that il is impossible to
find jury which will convict white
man for lynching a colorcd man in the
south, the committee desires to express to
the six widows of the murdered negroes
and to all colorcd people suffering under
oppression, its warncst sympathy and the
earnest hope that the spirit Of justice ir-
respective Of race, may yet be kindlcd
throughout the United States The COM
mittcc has read with deep satisfaction the
powerful denunciation of lynching by
Malcolm Patterson on behalf of the pro-
sccution'
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1895-01-09
eose Of Dionysius, when he was again In
tsfrupted by Outhwaite: WAS II Diony-

eoae Of Dionysius, when he was again In
terrupted by Outhwaite: WAS ii Diony-
sius who put the paddock on your iipse
Sibley made no reply, and proceeded to
address himself TO the details of the pend
ing bill
johnson Of Ohio was as strong against
the bill as any of the Republicans He
said he owed an apology to the house for
speaking against bill that was already
dead. He said the bill would not take the
government out of the banking business,
and asserted that no bill could be devised
for sound currency issues which would
not place them under government super
vision and in effect make then alternately
redeemable by the government he
sketchcd a scheme by which a dishonest
man, entirely within the terms Of this
bill. could make ST., 800 in two weeks by
starting bank.
Gould that not be done under the
present law" asked Springer. No, sir.
replied johnson, because he must deposit
slli, coo worth Of bonds to get s9o,"o IN
circulation"
Gould not the Canadian banks perpe-
tratc the same frauds:" asked Springer,
returning to the assault. mo, replied
johnson, because the Canadian system Is
a government monopoly.
Bland predicted that if this bill became
n law the grcenbacks would disappear
and to secure the gold standard silver
would be entirely eliminated. In conclu'
sion he declared: Neither this house nor
this administration is the Democratic
party" and / appeal to the masses of
Democracy to reorganize on the lines of
the principles of jefferson and Jackson.
App!ausc
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1895-01-09
SENSATION IN THE HOUSE.
siblcy nj Pennsylvania Makes Things Lively
for r Time.

for a Time.
In the house the interest was conferred
i'm what Sibley Of Pennsylvania said as
soon Us the debate on the currency
bill began. Sibley is Democrat and
members fockcd around when he began
n characteristic address against the bill.
He was applaudcd when he said: IF
ever a rcbuke was needed to one who has
attempted to trample down the prcroga-
tivcs of the people. it Is needed for him
who has attempted to usurp this entire
government to himself. The time has
come when there should be something
more than brains. belly and brass to this
government" He referred to George III
and said it had been given out that any
one who voted against this bill would in
cur the displcasure Of the king. Four
days after the repeal of the Sherman act,
members had told him that they had been
promised revenue collectorships if they
would vote for repeal
The gentleman makes n very broad as
scrtion." interrupted Coombs, and asked
Siblcy to mention names.
Il went three days ago to a member
and asked him to allow me the privilege
of calling him up here replied Sibley.
''He said: Mr.. Sibley, you will place me
IN Dstu WIFI
but continued Sibley, within ten feet
of Inc sits a man who heard him make the
statement that he had been offered federal
offices for his vote"
"But do you consider it fair" asked
Coombs. ito make SO grave charge
against the administration and not give
names and places in order to permit a de-
fcn>e:'
Every man Is the guardian of his own
conscience, declared Sibley. Already
the padlocks have been on my lips too
long and intend to throw them off,
when were the padlocks put on your
lips:" INTERCEPTED Cultivate.
There was great confusion and excite
ment following the question. Il have
not thrown them off before" continued
Sibley. because hoped to sec the ad-
ministration redeem its promises. and
did MOI wish to utter a rcbuke when there
was hope of honest performance
Outhw lite had pushed forward and
again uttered his question: who put the
paddock on your lips?"
Sibley hesitated for a moment. and then
wit h increased earnestness said: Let
Inc tell the gentleman that am talking
today to men who believe in going 10 hell
in a handcart instead of to Heaven sup
ported by truth. let me tell him also that
l am not addressing men who believe
moru in a bobtail flush than in a contrite
heart"
SIbley proceeded to relate the expert
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1895-01-09
ABBREVIATED TElEeRAMs.

Three CHICAGO firms are about to estab-
iish mammoth department stores in New
York city. They are Siegei, Cooper *
Co. Morge,tnau, Bolani * Co and q
third whose uanc l. not given.
Obituary: At Bermuda, DIR. G. W.
Jones, o: Danviiic. Ills. At Pittsfield.
Ills, Lawyer William \. Gri;nshaw, 81.
At kcokuk, Ia = J Wilkinson. At Ok
ford, O. d.. j. II. Porter. At Clovorland.
Ind. William H. Carpenter. At Boston.
ex- Alderman George Dunbar, formerly OF
Chicago.
The Spanish government is said to have
decided to again accord TO the United
States the benefit OF the minimum tariff
schedule on exports To Cuba and Porto
Rico.
The Dc Beers Diamond Mining com
pany, of south Africa. has sold its entire
output of diamonds for 1895 to London
syndicate for SI1 53o.0Jo
Colonel James Van Hook. at Jefferson
vile. Ind, has been acquitted of the MUIR
der of Anton Schaetfcr.
| The Nashua, n H., police commission
has been asked to investigate charges that
a hotel proprietor received notice of raid
in time to hide his liquor.
The Republicans Of Wayne county, Pa.
nominated Homer Greene OF Honcsdalc,
to fill the vacancy in congress caused by
the death OF Myron b. Wright Mrs.
Sarah Aldrich Kelly was pressing her
canvass for the place bu. failed to get be-
| fore the convention.
The Republican caucus for United
States senator in Delaware has been post
poned until Jan. II.
Petroleum has been struck in an tx
haustcd gas well ut Summitvillc, Ind,
causiHg much excitement in that place.
| Over fifty boats were swept from their
moorings in the Nonongahela river
around Pittsburg by the flood. Several
bargcs. each loaded with $1,000 worth
of coal. sank. Bottom lands aroun Etna
and Sharpsburg are entirely submerged
Three hundred striking cloakmakers
have gors to work cleaning streets at
New York at 81 per day.
The Massillon CO.,, district miners have
concluded to go to work at the price, IL
cents, fixed by the board of arbitration
which they ut first repudiated.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1895-01-09
Jap Atrocities at Port Arthur.

LONDON, JAN 9.-The Pail Mall Ga
zette, referring TO the massacre at Port
Arthur, says: The responsibility for
the horror rests not with the japanese
peasant, whom everybody knows is a
lacquercd barbarian, but with Marshal
Oyama and his officers, whose civilization
profcsscd to go a little deeper. Whether
they permitted the outrages or not, or were
unable TO check them they are unworthy
to command the armies of power which
calls itself civilized
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1895-01-09
Only Missed Church Nine Times.

WILKEsBARIE, Pa, Jan. o-Mrs. Kate
Horn, of Paramount township, who died
at the age Of 90 years, was a member of
the Methodist church for eighty years.
To the best OF her recollection in that
time she missed church on sunday nine
times
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1895-01-09
Will Carry the Income Tax Money.

WASHINGTON, Jan. a.-The senate com
mittec on appropriations has authorized a
favorable report on the urgent deficiency
bill, which has been held in the commit
tee since Dec. IA. The bill as it will he re-
ported today viii! carry the provision for
the collection of the income tax, and it
will not contain any amendments for the
alteration of the present tariff laws as it
at one time seemed probable it would.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1895-01-09

WASHINGTON, Jan. 9.--The house com.
mttec on invalid pensions has reported
favorably bill granting pension of SloO
per month to General j. a McClcrnand,
Of Springfield. Ills.
The broad ax., 1895-09-07
WHAT THE RECORDS SHOW.

TIE chief stock in trade of the
Republican campaigners this year,
who dare not discuss either the
tariff or the currency question, is a
general indictment Of Democratic
rule in which the only thing of
weight is the specific allegation that
under Republican rule the country
hourished like a green bay, while a
Democratic administration of affairs
produced industrial distress, COM
mercial failure. and a regular cata-
clysm of business desOlation and
misery. Like most of the Repub-
lican campaign statements this one
will not bear investigation. In
deed, the only reliable basis for any
statement of this kind proves very
conclusively that just the reverse is
true. The report of business fail
ures as given by Dun's Mercantile
Agency for the last ten years affords
little satisfaction to these brave
campaigners, who are afraid of
nothing but the truth. That report
is as follows:
The broad ax., 1895-09-07

STATISTICS show that the negro
race has made marvellous progress
since the abolition Of slavery. 1t
now has in the United States 379
colleges and schools for higher
education, 10 of the l.l75 teachers
being colored. In the common
schools there are 1885 colored
TEACHERS and l,46O,477 colored
pupils. The negroes also have 2O6
newspapers and forty-seven maya
zines and $50 of their number are
lawyers and as many more are
physicians. The wealth of the race
is placed at s263,0OyOOO. Prac-
ticall, all of this has been accom-
plished within a period of thirty
years.
The broad ax., 1895-09-07

inaugurated. Immediately times
improved. The barometer of bust
ness shows a falling off in failures
as well as in liabilities, and in 1887
the number Of failures had fallen
to 1854; or 1884 fewer than in
Arthur's closing year.
In June, 1888, the Republican
national convention at Chicago
adopted the famous Mckinley re-
solution favoring prohibitive pro-
lection duties. The number of fail
ures leaped up at once to 1869.
Harrison was elected, and one year
of his administration sent the num-
Der up to 1882. Another year
and the numb,r went to TO-
907. The next, or 1891, the
number passed high-water mark
and reached 1928, and he closed
his administration with a year in
which the failures numbered TO-
34l, with liabilities at only $ll4,-
GA, l67-more than twice as many
failures as in 1873, with less than
half as great an amount in liabili-
ties. In other words, while the
average liability of 1873 was about
SIS, 900, showing that the small
business men were not largely re-
presented, the Republican policy,
faithfully carried out under Harri-
son, had resulted in reducing the
average liability to about Sll 900
in 1922 fact which unerringly
points to the gradual elimination
from trade and industry of the in
iividual and their complete control
by ulti-millionaires in the form
Of trusts, combines, and syndicates.
March a, 1893, Benjamin Harri-
son stepped down and out of the
presidency. The treasury he had
sUund overlooking with a surplus
he left bare, with an actual deficit
or his successor to supply; he had
lishonored silver and discredited
he currency of the nation; bis aG-
ninistration had fostered monopoly
md discouraged individual enter
rise. One month later the results
# his corrupt rule became apparent
n the number of bank failures
which occurred in April. By May
he condition had become critical
nd from the 4th of May to the
9th of July, 1893, before the
administration had had
ime to do thing, saUe to try to
rert impending disaster, nearly
200, 100000 of individual deposits
ad been withdrawn from national
anks alone, and failures occurred
n every hand and in every line
ne lineal heritage of four years of
misrule.
If, from these figures, which are
orrect,the Republican party mana
FRS can gather comfort they are at
berty to use them in their cam
aign addresses. But the less said
y them about the business pros
Gritty the better for their cause, for
neither we take the party's record
II the last four years or 60 back
} the time of the reconstruction
,riod, when the door of success
God wide open and waiting to all,
e find a record of stupid neglect
1 the one hand and shameful dis
,nor and venality on the other
hicGgo Times.