Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1895-01-16
TEA-TABLE SALAD.

How quickly a waiter ''tumbles' when
you give him tip. "-Richmond Dis
patch.
Are you much taken with boomers 2"
well, rather; / never go out in them
but | am kodaked a dozen times. DE
troit Tribune.
Jillson says the greatest sticklers for
form must sometimes bow to the inevita-
BILE without having had an Introduction.
Buffalo Courier.
Shelf you are a professed woman
hater what are you going to marry for?'
He-"So that can live up to my profess
sion. Brooklyn Life.
Mrs. McBride-"Jo John, dear, why are
some grocers called green grocers?'' Mr..
McBride-'"To distinguish them from
cash grocers, darling. Vogue.
IT heah they was a good dead oh cuttin'
up at yo' las dance, Miss Cindy." ''Dey
wuzznt muffin oh de sort All de ladies
an gemmen lief dey -razzers in de cloak
room" Cincinnati Tribune.
,-'Cholly didn'tt. have much luck with
with her glances." '"Then he is in a bad
way?' No; he was thawed out by all
old fame" New York Press
NO." said the college professor of
literature, II haven't read novel in five
years. | am not very fond of scientific
uIScuSSlOUS OF CTedllSeS Oh PHYSIOLOGY OF
pathology Boston Transcript.
seventh heaven" Waggiies-1T guest
means de hero didn't have de price of an
orchester seat. Syracuse Post.
There's no doubt" said Mr. Dolan,
''about there bein' wan great advantage
in bein' born in this country" "An'
phwat's thotT' inquired Mrs. Dolan. sit
+1,o cto ~ +,aIy
ct over. Washington Star.
Mrs Wantsagiarl-"S you are a good
cook, Ell? | suppose, then, there is some
Which You eScelY' AppiicaRntNaTndade
there is, mum! All me friends do be say
in that me raw oysters bate the Wur-r-rld,
mum. Buffalo Courier.
I'm afraid said the rural justice,
chat I shall be compelled to fine you
$40 and cost" "But, your Honor, the
evidence proves that | am innocent" Il
know it, replied the justice, 'but, my
friend, I've got a family to support.''--
Atlanta Constitution.
Henry" said Mrs. Parvey, 'you
will see to it that from time to time the
mistletoe is moved from one part of the
room to another"
What's that for?" interposed her hus-
band.
It's to keep the girls from wearing
out the carpet in any particular spot. p
Washington Star.
"A lot of popcorn balls hung all over
Christmas tree will create more interest
in a Sunday school than twenty miracles
possibly could.-Siftings.
-Spacer-" What can [ say in this obit-
uary of Lusher, the bartenderT Liner
Work in something about his having
smile for everybody. Truth.
What did the editor get for his Christ
mas, "A gold collar button. We'll,
isn't he satisfed?' No. Now he wants
a shirtr' ATLANTA Constitution.
DO look at that huge woman dancing
with Uncle Bob. What is she?" "A
Quakeress" HIM! rather an Earth
quakeress, [ should London
Punch.
Bobby Jagged four)-''Papa's awful
good" Mother-"How do you knowY'
Bobby-"Why, nurse was cryin this
mornin, an papa tissed her an said new
er mind .'-Syracuse Post.
Every man must some day
settle his account with his Maker" Tail
OFT wish you could impress Mr.. Palmer
with that idea He hasn't settled with
me for about two years. HARLEM Life
--He--'You said, before we were mar
ried, that / could sit around with my
coat off and smoke when | pleased"
Shelves; but you don't please when
you sit around with your coat off and
smoke. Philadelphia Inquirer
I'll bet, remarked Mr.. Jason to his
wife as they sat III the family circle at
the play, I'll bet. from the looks of it,
that the dress that there woman in the
box is wearin' is one Of them elegant
dresses one-half off we seed advertised
Yesterday in the papers, Indianapolis
Journal.
What's all the excitement?" asked
the tourist. They're lynchin' the gro
ceryman," said Rubberneck Bill. Gang
o. the boys had little railroad specula-
ton on hand and he sold em axle grease
an sawdust fer dynamite Cheatin'
don't go here, podner." Cincinnati
Tribune.
Il hear that Miss Roseleaf is going to
leave the church. Do you know Why"
Yes. She helped trim the chancel
Christmas eve and while she was la bor-
iously lacking up Good Will to Men
Miss Lily White got the minister to pro-
pose Roseleaf thought it was too under
hand performance and so she's left the
church New York World.
Where the Gold Goes.