Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1895-02-27
s'irginia FREE 2ress.
Humorous.

A busybody's troublesome person who
wastes time trying TO DO somebody else's
duty.
Chicago Molher-Dear me, Augustus,
what makes your face so dirty. Her Son
I've been playing in the snow
The lines on mans face are not always
traced by care. Dread of work has been
known to produce the same result.
Harry always wear hat to suit my
head hang the style Dick-Yes; | no.
tce that soft hat is your favorite.
Il wonder why he married herr" "As
bargain, suppose, on account her age. =
"Yes; it is %, marked down from 81"
Watts-So you don't believe that the cool
die young Pctts-That used to worry me
good deal when was boy, but know
better now.
Watts-Isn't there play called the Ken
lucky Colonel? Potts-I believe there is.
think il is some sort OF tank drama, tho
am not sure"
'This is a bad habit to get into" remark
ed the girl who had gained fifteen pounds
in month, as she tried to squeeze into her
riding habit.
"When does this cough trouble your wife
most?" Husband When she has her ear to
the key-hole trying to hear what the new
boafders are saying.
Little Gregory-Papa, why do you say
that tie pen is more powerful than the
sword? Papa-Because you cannot sign
checks with a sword
She ION her voyage)-What is that place
down there? He-Why, that is the Storage.
She-And does it take all those people to
make the boat 90 straight?
Bigley- Did Jones loan you ten? Rice
No. Bgley-WLat was his excuse for re-
fusing you? Rice-He said the popular
loan bill wasn't passed yet.
There's one good thing to be said about
Thompkins. He is perfectly truthful. y
"Of course he is. He is too stiney to make
an extravagant statement"
Bobby-Paw, why do you always carry
whiskey bottle along with you when you
go fishing? Paw-It makes the fish look
larger, my son. There run along.
Downtown Here comes Blnkers He's
got a new baby and hell talk us to death
Uptown-Well, here comes a neighbor OF
mine who has new setter dog. Let's in
troduce them to each other and leave them
to their fate.
Bank President You'd better investigate
the third assistant paying-teller Cashier
Have you any reason to suspect him ut
may be only Imagination, bur when spoke
to him this morning he ,eemed short
in his replies
Mother-Johnny 90 down to the grocer's
and get pound OF black tea JOHNNY
heard pa say he didn't like black tea
uother-It makes no difference what your
father says, Johnny. This family is in
mourning just now.
Lady widow DO you know that my
daughter has set her eyes upon you, Herr
Miller? Gent (hattered) Has she really
Lady-Certainly; Only to day she was say
ing That's the sort of gentleman should
like for my papa"
"Mr Blufily,' she said graciously, you
are one of the most original men have met
in ever so long You haven't said single
word about the weather" NO" he replied,
with tinge of regret in his voice, Il could
not in the presence of ladies'"
81 am astonished that a minister of the
gospel should smoke cigarettes" They
saved my life when was a missionary
Every time the King of the Cannibal Is
ands began to think Of eating me- | would
| light cigarette aud make him so sick that
he lost his appetite"
II