New-York tribune., 1895-09-01

| only said In reply: Il ma 'e sometimes hao SUI"
homes. but then"-and there she stopped and
d,d not on any future occasion express herself
NOR. fully regarding her remarkable nephew and
,h. uso n which he might hereafter put his gifts
| Ahout this time began to be annoyed by
| worry ANAL matter, which vexed me more than 1t
! should have done. though 1t was unpleasant to
| many others In our congregation IL was the
| nersistent misbehavior OF Captain Barnhams
, dog. FYdo He more than usually in'eii-
gent animal and had many peculiar habits. one OF
which was his abstinence from eating until some
thing WAS cooked suited TO his fastidious taste.
when he would eat voraciously all that was given
| 10 him. and like oliver Twist. ask Tor more
with a similar result. This and some other OF
FYdos pecuiarities afforded us considerable
| amusement.
Rut a different effect was produced on some OF
| us at least. by practice which he had recently
| oao,,ed IN connection with our Sunday afternoon
services On these occasions Ffdo was sure TO De
ono ~ tho CONGREGATION. Usually he came In
| somewhat late generally just as l was about 10
| hee,n the service He would run up the steps or
| tho nulnIt which was one Of the old box-snapeu
! nattern with a door opening on TO the small
| landing AT the top Of the steps. Having reached
| this elevated spot Fido would jump up. and pac-
ing his forefeet on the top of the door OF the pull
pit would look inside If to satisfy hirnseii 'hat
| I was there. attending to my duties. lie "ouiu
| then let himself down on to the little iahulhs anu
deliberately view the congregation as IL TO assure
himself that everything there was as IL shouId De-
| This part Of the performance being endeu' ne
would lie down and go TO sleep. occasionally utter
| ing a most irreyerent snore Sometimes he would
| wake up In the middle Of the service, and after
| prolonged yawn would repeat his previous pro-
| ceeding Of. looking into the pulpit as II to inti-
| mate to me that in his opinion my sermon was
\ little too long
| OF course, all this fine fun for the younger
portion Of my congregation, and very annoying
! TO It's more sedate members | often felt that
| Fidos tricks had utterly spoiled the whole SER
vice for any good effect which it otherwise might
! have had.
| On one occasion a good deacon had tried to
| turn the dog out Of the church, but this caused
| so much disturbance that the attempt was never
| repeated The dog barked and yelled. snapped
and bit right and left as he first carried and
| then kicked out Of the building No sooner was
the deacon back in his pew. wiping his heated
face. than Ffdo reappeared in his former position
| at the top of the pulpit steps, snarling and bark
| ing at his enemy. This was not to be borne, and
the deacon quickly laid hold of the dog put him
out Of the church second time. and shut the door
| to keep him out
| Then there followed such scratching and tear
| ing barking and bowling from the enraged beast
| as almost drowned my voice. Two men went
| out and drove the dog away. but almost soon
| as they had resumed their seats Fido was again
| at the door making his noisy demands for adms-
| sion until there was nothing left for me to do
| but TO close the service. with my sermon only
half finished During the whole OF this affair
nearly every one present was shaking with laugh
| ter in which found 1t difficult not to join.
| II was the talk Of the town for week after,
| and gave rise to number of jokes in which the
words dogmatic and dogmatism largely figured
| OF course most people blamed Captain Barnham,
and said that he ought to keep his dog at home,
and asked why he did not lock 1t up on Sunday
| and not let II annoy the congregation and minis
ter
| | can bear witness that the captain was not
| guilty of any neglect of duty in this matter. If.
when able 10 attend church. he had not sat with
| the choir in the gallery at the front end OF the
| building am confident that he would have made
| short work Of Fido. One Sunday he happened to
| be present when the dog was going through ms
usual performance at the top Of the pulpit steps.
The captain came down the gallery stairs and
I along the aisle as quietly as possible. but when
ne had reached the pulpit Fido had disappeared
Fully understanding what that vacant seat in the
choir and slow, soft creaking OF boots portended,
| the sagacious animal had slipped away from the
| pulpit much more quickly and quietly than It's
master had come to II. But when the captain mad
returned TO his seat in the singing gallery, Fido
| came forth from his hiding place and reoccupied
| his post at the pulpit door. First taking a look
inside to assure himself taat had not left during
| his absence he carefully inspected the choir to
| make sure that his master was where he ought to
be. Satisfied upon that point, he delivered him
self Of a loud yawn and then lay down and went
TO sleep. or at least pretended to do so.
All attempts to shut up Fdo on Sunday ended
In compete failure He semed TO know when the
day for worship had come as well as we did.
Early on the Sunday morning he would disap-
pear. and no search for him was ever rewarded
with the discovery Of his hiding place But as
surely as we were on our way to church in the
afternoon. Fido would be seen trotting on ahead
of us at a safe distance, and occasionally turn
ing around and looking back at us In the most
provoking manner. When We had arrived at
the church Fido could not be found. but without
fail as was about to begin the service. he would
put In an appearance and 60 through with his
regular performance Of pulpit inspection, for
which all the children present would be looking
with eager expectation.
had one alleviation Of the annoyance and vex-
alton this grotesque affair caused me. that Of wit
Messing the department of FtZ during its occur
renee. Others might be amused by the dogs an
tics but not he. There he would sit, looking up
at me with an almost sad countenance, OCCASION
ally casting glance Of reproof at some boy or girl
who was laughing at Fido's audacious conduct.
Fftz really appeared to be surprised and pained
that any one should find pleasure In that which
caused me so much annoyance. Evidently that
boy had In him good deal Of the angelic, or of
something else not usually found in the average
boy But, unfortunately, 1t was not the angelic.
but the something else" that was there. for fitZ
himself the cause and originator Of F1do's
Sunday performances. and Of much more that
was of far worse nature: and this is how 1t all