The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1895-01-24

The only objection to this mode is
am very apt to lie It little sometimes
in Il fit of temporary craziLcss lie
a great deal.
No; neither one OF yoa is ioreor-
dained to be an old maid. Girls with
the cheek you all have will gobble up
somebody. If some fellow doesn't ask
you to have him pretty soon, you will
do the asking yourselves. don't
blame you, either. Just the idea of be-
ing sixteen orseventeen years old, and
not engaged to somebody who wears
o white necktie and a 80 calibre pistol
1t is awful. Isuppose you have been
wearing dresses long enough to reach
below your shoe tops whole year,
haven't you? Has no one pAtted you
on the cheek or cnuckled you under
the chin? II not, why not? Did you
ever have "little black nfoustache"
thrust under your nose about ten
o'clock p. m F.? Did you ever sit and
watch the golden stars with an arm
around the wasp part of your bodyH
Ityou haven't, then you have right
to kick. No grand jury could be
found in this country that would in.
dict you even If you kicked the stable
door down and jumped over a staked
and ridered fence. When a girl gets
! to be sixteen or seventeen years old
and can't have her liver squeezed out
Of its normal position at least once a
week. she has a moral and constitu
tional right to complain. There is
nothing sadder in this sad and half
backed world than sixteen or seven
teen year old girl dying for some one
to loYe her. and no one willing to
undertake the job. 1t is real hateful,
Now for the description Of your flu
turc husbands, Nell will wed man
with tall complexion and a dark cast
of countenance. He will spit through
his teeth in a pathetic manner and
wear liver pad. His eyes will be
black especially after somebody "does
him one"
He will be fond of mashed potatoes
and water cress, but will abhor sueG
pie and cistern water He will be a
devoted husband. While other men
leave their wives and 60 out under the
fierce and burning sun to battle with
a wild and uncivilized cabbage patch
he will linger by your side, and ask
you to fan him with dock leaf, Al
he will require is food and. clothing
and if he'doesn't get that he will kicA
like bay steer.
Dots husband will be of medium
height, over all blue eyes His lowe
lip will protrude slightly, and he viii
be so bow.legged that it will be painful
for him to change socks. He will b.
of q gay disposition when under th,
influence of liquor jay. He will have
light hair and light brains to match
His moustache will be light, sand,
loan color, but will be very nice fol
tickling purposes. Shake yoursel
we'll while using an ah We all avoiC
a strong light. Moustache should no
be used only in the cleaning.
Now, Gear Nell and Dot, what | hav
told may not suit you. 1t doesn't me
D but the above are the kind of men yol
a are destined to get. There is only on
e avenue of escape. If you will SER
t me your real names / will get anothe
good young man and we will com
f down and snatch you as brand iron
4 the burning. What do you say?
d | am splendid hand at snatchini
r girls from the burning, I take then
s around the waist and hold on like
d dog pulling at briar root. Do yo
s want to be suatched? II 80, answe
g "yes."-Banner Nan, IN WythevilI
Journal.