Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1895-04-14
plenty OF herring and cabbage I suppose
we ought to be- satisfied.


Away down among the sea brctzes of
the grand old county Of Princess Anne,
where the sand-addler fddles ard tile
backward crab moves forward. ard
where several bucketfuls OF the Atlantic
ocean wash q shell-studded beach, these
is q fair one who puts her trust in ME
and asks for guidance. Figuratively
speaking she has put her hand In mine.
and in poetic language shes asks me 10
lead I'm the way that she should go. Here
~ what she says:
-Four suitors are seeking my heart and
And ali have the doodle at their con-
Bu,.re 's sadly deficient in cerebral lore
Their efforts 10 talk are painful and sore.
they dress "in the latest with hcrupu-
And part in the middle their few atranls
T own I'm, In love- and some day viii wed.
But not TO a dude--Id rather be dead
But not a mere drone with nougnt In ils
Now, why can't 1 wait, for I'm Just
tAnd. by by tie way, "Idler" how old ara
Please answer me soon. for mothers
I'll miss a rare chancs" and die an old
She's ali up in co. because I've de-
And thinks her poor child Is losing Ter
Decide the great problem Of dollars and
Write frankly and freely your own sentI-
enclose you stamp and one of r'y
with name and address. I'm yours with
' PRINCESS ANNE
Before responding to your puzzling
!nterrogations. my dear Princess Anne, OF
the royal (baking-powder) blood, l WIZ
state that the stamp which you so poet
icalIy aud kindly alluded 10 was not
enclosed. merely remind you OF this In
order that you may always keep awake
to little social niceties, even II they do
sometimes cost you cents. III you have
four suitors and all have Doodle az their
command, there Is but one answer TO your
question. Take all four of them. The
judicious administration OF rough on
rats" can soon make you a quadruple
widow and then, after you have collect
ed your dover rights and gathered In
the personal property OF the late quar-
tetta. I'll give you the details about my
age. For the present, however, you mist
pardon ma II I am a bit coy about that
matter. I, too, will have to administer
trough on rats" TO respond to your over
lures. In these degenerate days love is
at a discount so l wouldn't experiment
with II. Ii doesn't feed; neither does It
clothe. Whatever you decide to DO, how
ever, don't be an old maid. One spinster
is like a little piece OF lemon-peel In
whiskey cocktail. She goes long ways.
Some days ago party Of ladies visited
a certain colored church In this city. and
heard the sermon Of the heolosian as
he disseminated his pious ideas among
his ebon audience. Imagine the surprise
OF one Of the fair ones on the next day,
when she received the following letter
My Dear Lady,-We Is making few
complimentary members OF our church,
and as 1 seed you in our congregation yes
terday. and notice how you listened TO
me preaehn' / now take my pen In
hand TO ask a little more help from You
TO help pay for our church. an you VIII
then become a complimentary member.
We is poor and II our white friends don't
help US out faint no use to pray to the
lord, cause where is the poor nlggers
goin' TO git money from sept they steal
When you gifts a complimentary member
ship we all calls you sister l hope that
you will send us something.
Your humble servant,
Reyd. IN J--er.
Pastor OF TIL Mt IN Church.
OF course, the lady was astounded at
the communication. and at the prospect
of being called sister" and IL was only
after she happened TO recall the fact that
IL was received on April LIST that she
suspected fraud And the letter was
fraud. Ii had been written by 1ocose
doctor In this town, who subsequently
killed a patlept just to thoroughly rid
himself Of his April-fool exuberance.
THE IDLE REPORTER.