The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1895-08-28
CUPID HAS AN ENEMY
PERSISTENT SOLICITORS WHO DETER
WOULD &c e1NEplcrs.

PERSISTENT SOLICITORS WHO DETER
WOULD BE e1NeDlcTs.
Matrimonial venture. made sstra Hssard-
ous by the Hunt For Busines.-A Hair
Raising warning Prom Life Insurance
Man.
When the young man walked into the
newspaper Office and timidly asked the
society editor II she would kindly insert
a notice Of his approaching marriage he
little thought of the trouble he was
bringing down upon his head.
The announcement was printed sun
day. When he reached his Office Mon
day, he found stack Of letters waiting
for him, every one addressed in a hand
writing he did not know. He whistled
when he opened the first, ditto the SOC
ond, looked bit surprised at the con
tents Of the third and swore fiuently
through the balance Of the pile At noon
there were more. At night there were
others
Despite the evident curiosity Of his
fellow laborers in the Office he did not
take a soul into his confidence until the
third day. Then he remarked to his
| deskmates;
"Say, the great American life insur-
ance man isn't overlooking any bets
these days, is be9"
Wherefore this outburstT'
For answer the groom TO be went 10
drawer and produced a stack containing
i47 letters-he said that was the exact
number, though his friend did not count
| them-the accumulation since that fate
| full Sunday morning.
Every blamed one Of them is from
/ some agent for some life insurance com
pany who wants 20 insure my life. Each
one represents the best company ON the
face Of the earth. Each pays the largest
dividends Each invests the money Of
its patrons TO the very best advantage.
Each moralizes on the uncertainty Of
life and seeks 20 impress upon me the
solemn duty owe to my wife that is TO
he 10 get my life insured for million
or two Of dollars And each blessed one
has come since the announcement Of my
approaching wedding was printed. "
The young man paused a moment
then he dug into the pile and after q
few moments search produced docu-
ment which he showed at his friend,
simply saying:
"Just look at the deyilish ingenuity
displayed in the construction Of that
thing.
The thing was about the size Of a
theatrical poster known as three sheet
in other words, three Of them will paper
the side Of barn. Down the center. Al
regular intervals, were a lot Of mOttoes
and warning exhortation printed in type
three times the size Of the context, and
in red ink. Here is one choice extract
from the document: "In the midst Oh
life we are in death.
LET us call your attention that IL II
every husbands duty-his solemn dutJ
to provide for those dependent upoi
him. No one kmoweth when the ange
of death may knock at the door OF hove
or mansion and how can one be prepare'
for his coming unless time is taken b.
the financial forelock? Think Of the ra.
Of hope which breaks through the cloud
' of bitter bereavement when the sorrow
ing ones reflect that by the careful fore
thought Of the dear departed poverty ha
been prevented from adding its horror
TO those Of the grave. 1t is your duty 3
provide for your loved ones. Do not pu
il off until tomorrow, for in the Ian
guage Of the poet, Tomorrow nev'
comes.
There was another paragraph in Il
document that showed the touch OF
= master hand. 1t ran something like thii
"Our policies are devised and d.
signed to meet the wants and needs
all people desiring insurance. They al
liberal They are honest. They brin
the very best returns. We have idea
policies which we can safely recommend
We can and will guarantee endowmer
results at much less than endowmer
rates. And again we pledge ourselves
furnish paid up policies at far below tn
usual cost. Our dividends are often fiy
, times as large as those Of other con
y panies on similar policies We also NAL
a speciality Of making liberal loans
our clients on their policies. We are
= the field for business and we mean to g
>, it And don't you forget 1t. "
CS "Do not leave your wife and babi
dependent on charity.
mi The elocutionary effect the benedi
TO be threw into the reading of these
tracts gained him a round Of applau
'' from his companions 1t also brought
him tho knowledge that every 9th
= man in the Office who was married
Chicago-had been similarly Athlete
But that brought no balm to his sol
and he continued to kick. He did
think it the proper thing to do and
announced his intention OF writing
circular letter to the various individui
who had importuned him to take
risk" and informing them of his fe
- ings
Don't do it, my boy" =" said the he
bookkeeper. "Wait until after you
married. You will get forty of The
things then to one now, and then you
IS have to get out another letter. Wait
then, and then you can address yours
at one and the same time to the life
surance agent, the furniture dealer.
; l. grocer, the man who has second ha
sewing machine to sell, the phil
thropist who wants to sec young peo
get along and who offers you lot
out in the suburbs that will make
,as, rich in five years. the rental agent,
iceman, the millman. the cockroach
terminator, and all their hth and
You'll hear from them all, for they
read the society columns OF the di
mp, p papers and the newly married are Il
legitimate prey. Chicago Tribune