The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-09-08
FOR HUMANITY'S SAKE.
BOGGs TRIED no REFORM THE
World, BUT FAILED.
Nat Prune Relates the Sad Experience OF
the President of the the Citizens Ec-
form Club of Pathacket.

Boggs was comicaI. There was no
| doubt OF that. l do not mean 10 say 'nat
| Boggs was a humorist-far from H. lie
did not joke for a living, but, then, he
was unconsciously humorous. In reaiy
| he was a sober-mnded fellow, niue gwen
TO joking and the like; but unfortunately
| he was one of those beings VINO are con-
! unually doing or saying something -
maize people look with pity upon nm.
AS for saying anything to amuse people
| Boggs would not have done II Tor the
world. but nevertheless, he amused them
and they were satisfied. SO long as the
| people are amused they do not care
| snap who does it or how st Is done. Inc
| aforesaid Boggs was one OF those people
about whom ii Is always being said:
81 believe he means we'll"
The generality or people might be 90
ing "A certain thing all day long. and 1t
| would cause no particular comment. but
! Just let Boggs take off his coat, or silt
| upon his hands to begin. and immediate
| ~ the horrid public would open its huge
| Jaws to enjoy the spectacle. 1 really he
licyc that when Boggs shuines Off this
| mortal his friends Will remark after the
| obsequics are over.
Wasn't he the most comical corpse
you ever saw?'
It's just that way.
The last idea that struck him was
| club lie came 10 me early one morning
and in his comical way suggested that II
would bc a good thing 10 start a CLUB.
had never heard Of "A club in our vicinity
before, but / had always said that II one
ever came. Boggs would be the cause OF
it. Boegs said that ne had suggested II
to Jabbs. and Jabhs said he thought II
would be a good thing. / did not Know
what il was like but ! said that !
thought 80 too. That IS the way 20 en-
courage BOges and keep MS schemes
afoat. lie would die without our help.
When l had nodded my asseIS ne pro-
ceeded to give me his line ofv~.rgument
| and his reasons for organizing this CLUB.
He said that il had been the tendency In
all ages for men 10 band themselves
together for their mutual protection and
entcrtainment Caesar, Crdssus. and
Pompey had formed Il trio TO possess
themselves of the world, the Europea-
countries had formed one TO crush Napo-
leon. they had formed one in Kew YORK,
known as Tsmmany, 10 put the town IN
their pockets, and on and on went Boggs
enumerating club after CLUB that had
been formed since the ausplcious land-
ing OF the ark under Admiral Noah. lie
said that Mr.. Addison has given glowing
accounts OF Fat Mems Clubs and Lean
Mems Clubs, and all sorts Of clubs, and
that we ought TO originate one by al
means.
l asked him what kind Of a club II
was that he proposed starting lie said
with his philanthropic look that II was 10
be formed for the sake Of suffering nu-
manity. Poor humanity-Bogg always
was a kind OF foster-mother TO humani-
~. / cannot imagine what in the word
would become OF humanity II n wasn't
for Boggs. When he gives up the ghost,
humanity will droop and fade, and final
~ die, / suppose
did not see exactly what BOggs was
driving at There was very little Of the
actual substance of humanity in Pat
hatcket II was one of those old towns
built on two streets which cross IN the
middle Of he town and divide It into
quadrants like pieces OF lemon PIE. Al
the nearest newspaper was ten miles
away. II was the custom Of the place
for the population TO gather on these
cross streets In the evening, after sun
set. and talk over the days happenings.
Everybody knew everybody else. and
everybody else knew Boegs They knew
that something was ahoat in the town.
The idea OF club i'm Pathackct anus
ed me very much indeed But B0ggs said
we had TO have It II ii did come high.
The main point that seemed 10 worry
him was a name for the onsprins JabDs
had suggested the "Pathacket Missionary
Club" but BOggs intimated with know
ing look with due Difference 10 Jabbs).
that that would not do at all IL had
too much OF an African or South imcrl-
can flavor about IT, ! was anxious 10
encourage Boggs without getting mixed
up IN the organization myself. 1 knew
that was not exactly right. but YOU
know It is general farlt with "suiter-
ing humanity" 10 let some other cat pun
out the chestnuts. / asked Bcggs what
he thought Of THE Citizens Reform
Club for . name. lie snapped at the
idea. and IL was Immediately formed
with BCggs as President, Secretary, ana
Board Of Directors.
His line of work was unique. Il was
his intention. so l gathered from his re-
marks. TO put down all forms of vice II
the village. i asked Bogss why he ara,
not form an army instead of a club. lie
winked and shook his head. He said con-
fdentlally that he had been thinking tins
plan over for a long time and il had
just burst through TO the surface.
/ commended the idea as q noble one
IN my friend.
lie said that great many people had
laughed az the idea-in fact. l was the
only man who had not laughed al II. /
ing for a chance.
He was going 70 start in the first OF
the month and also begin his fiscal year
at that time. HIS work would all be per-
sonaL I told him l thought that an
excellent plan. ! had often travelled on
these personally conducted tours myself,
and mad an excellent Unexpectedly de-
lightful. Boggs said that another part
Of his scheme was TO get out a circular
which would read as follows:
'Do you smoke? DO you chew? Do you
swear? DO you drink? DO you abuse
your wife? DO you gambley"
And right across the circular, in deep.
black type, no would have stop it,"
told him l thought that an excellent
plan, and that any man who INDUCED
IN the vices would give them up cheer
fully after reading his circular Boess
smiled. I saw that he was encouraged
alarminsly. / made a few notes and
asked il the following questions would be
amiss thereon:
do you eat onionsP DO you carry your
umbrella under your arm? Do you Keep
a bowling dog? DO you ride a Wheel
What Is your chest measurement"
BOggs looked at me in the most com.