Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-05-30
Let Us All Laugh.

The statesman's brave who singly
dares
To fight clique or ring,
But Drawer far is he who wears
The first straw hat of spring.
Boston Courier.
Dewey Fave Geadfnc)-W wvr
Il decade? Wandering Willie-Hold on
dere, pard! Yer gettin' PERSONAL
Judge.
Hobson-What do you suppose
dogs pants are made of? Wigwag-
Probably of sort of very light bark
Philadelphia Record.
"In my business, lady, it's impossible
to get a days work" You don't say!
What's YOU business?' I'm night
wa lehman. "--Scribner's.
Green Gates--Is your son doing well
at college? Halsey Putnam-Not as
well as expected; he is only playing
center field.-Brooklyn Eagle.
"Ah," said the magazine reader, con-
templating his friends new baby.
'Fine child. Is it a Napoleon or a
Trilby ?"-Cincinnat Tribune.
She-There's no use in talking, it's
the small things that annoy one most.
He-Ies. Even a little mosquito bores
me Observation-Disclosures Record.
"Why was the bee selected as a mod
el of Industry" asked Tillinghast "Be-
cause business with him is always
humming," replied Gildersleeve.-
Judge.
Trolley car conductor-Settle now, or
| get off. Digniied citizen-What do you
take me for, sir? Conductor-Fi' cents,
same as anybody else.-Indianapolis
Journal.
Mrs. Norris-In this book have writ
ten down most of the little incidents Of
our married life. Old Bonder-Ah!
Sort of family scrap-book, eh ?-Brook-
Ign Life.
Sad-faced tramp-Madam, / am q
homeless man. Patient housewife
Well, if you are home less than my hus-
band is, l pity your poor wife.-Tam
many Times.
Judge-And you are accused of throw
ing a mug of beer at the plaintiff.
Plaintif-Anybodv who knows me will
tell you that that is inconceiveable.-
Fliegende Blaetter.
Gaggs-Self-made is man who thor
oughly believes in himself. Wages
Then he must be next to an infidcl,
for an infdel believes ia nothing
New York Tribune.
Hobson-Don't you think that Martin
girl is frightfully dull? Jobson-Well,
hardly You should have seen the way
she cut me on the avenue yesterday
Philadelphia Record.
Wigwag-There is at least one time
Of the day when | am sure of my stand
ing. Hobson-When's that? 'When
Philadelphia Record.
First wall fower-How gracefully
Miss Western holds up her train. Sec
ond wall fiower-It ought to come natu
raj, for they say her father started life,
as road agent-Truth.
Mr.. Fosdick-I want good tea. Is:
that genuine Bohea? Honest, now?',
Mr.. Peck (as he weighs it out-Yes,
sir; will guarantee it, / believe that
honest tea is the best policy.-Judge.
emily, if William to-day asks you
to marry him you must tell him to
speak to me-" Eyes, mamma; but if
he does not?" "Then tell him I want
to speak to him!''-Fliegende Blaetter.
beautiful every day! Lady-You have
been telling me SO for a good many
years; what a horrid fright / must
have been to start with.-L'Illustra-
ton.
81 understand that your son went
West, intending to rise with the com
munity,' said the neighbor. Eyes An
he did what he started out for" "How"'
'He hadn't been there n week before a
cyclone struck the town."-Washingt
! Star.
Adam Dunn-Good morning, Mr.
Wunt; have called to collect that lit
tie bill. Willy Wunt-And SO you are a
collector, too! have no doubt have
one of yours among my collection.
What do you care to pay for it?-Bos-
ton Transcript
"Pa," said a small boy, "what are the
penalties of greatness?' "Wel," re-
piled the eminent officeholder, with q
sigh, lone of them is having the in
come tax collector know, off hand, just
how much money you get year.
Washington Star.
Mrs. Gadd-"Oh. have you heard the
news? Miss de Ledger and her fathers
bookkeeper were secretly married six
months ago." Mrs. Gabb-1Dearie ME!
How did it leak out?' Mrs. Gadd-
"Some one overheard them quarreling.''-
New York Weekly.