The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-06-19
HUM0R OF TIE DAY.

Before marriage-Dude. After mar
riage-Subdued. Albany Argus.
You never know how fond you are
of boy until you become engaged to
his sister. .-Tit-Bits.
If you could slip belt on Cuba,
her revolutions would run the ma
chinery of the world. Detroit Free
Press.
Friction matches we're first made in
1929. The other kind originated in
Adam and Ewes days. Hartford
Journal.
Man is never 80 busy but he can
spare few minutes to watch the fell
lows who post the circus bills. Wash
ington Post.
Subscriber-"Why is my paper SO
damp every issue?" Editor-"Becau
there is SO much due on it."-Chris-
tian Register.
She-"So you wouldn't take me to be
twenty. What would you take mo
for?" He-"For better or worse. -
Philadelphia Record.
Tommy-"Pop, what is a popular
song?" Tommy's Father-"One that
everybody gets sick and tired of hear
ing. "--Philadelphia Record.
Billy, the Goat-"That manuscript
] just ate has given me an awful pain"
Nanny--"Yes, dearest; that's called
writer's cramp. "-Harpor's Bazaar.
rs now the frolicsome Jap
Puts feathers galore in his cap,
Rescrving one quill
That, with vigorous skill,
He may turn in and edit the map.
Washington Star.
Mr.. D.-"If you get my coat done
by Saturday shall be forever indebt-
ed to you" Tailor-'tIf that is the
case, it won't be done. New York
Recorder.
Nell-"If you really liked young
man, what would you do if some day
he should kiss you suddenly, against
your will?" Belle-"He Couldn't
Somerville Journal.
The Tourist -"You seem to be
proud of your family title" The New
York Millionaire Abroad (proudly)-
"Of course, am. paid for it in good
hard dollars. Chicago Record.
Mrs. Bellefield-" Oakland has
q great secret" Mrs. Bloomfield
80, mol She can't have" "Why
not?" eff she had she would have
told it to me. "-Pittsburg Chronicle
Telegraph.
Mrs. Hicks-"How do you like this
little theatre toqueP 1 made it all
myself" Hicks-"It isn't very big,
is it?" Mrs. Hicks-"No-o; made
it out of an old jet bracelet. New
York World.
81 guess" said the sharp-nosed girl,
"that 1 will take the wind out of her
sails" "Why," asked the fluffy girl,
"don't you be up to date and say take
the wind out Of her tires ?"-Cincin-
natl Tribune.
Nodd-"Our nursegirl has just had
terrible fit of sickness" Todd
eyes? What was the matter?" Nodd
--"By mistake she took some medi-
cine she was going to give to the
baby."-Judge.
"Here's the latest thing in Watches"
said the dealer; ga warranted water
proof case" 81 believe" said Nudge,
"that one that could be soaked would
be better suited to my needs In
dianapolis Journal.
Hurrying Stranger lin Squee-
kawket)-"Is there time to catch the
train?" Languid Native "Waal,
stranger, ye-ve got time enough, l
reckon, but I'm dead sure ye hain't
got the speed p'-Harper's Bazaar.
l have before me a letter from
Partisan friend, a gentleman of some
literary note in his own country, who
informs me that he is learning Eng.
lish by the aid Of a small textbook
aud n dictionary, without any other
instructor; and he adds: ''In small
time l can learn so many English as l
think / will TO come at the America
and go on the scafold to lecture. -
Detroit Free Press.