The herald., 1895-10-15
Tried to Light His Matches on
the .MOt0rman's Back
WAS ROLLED in THE DUST
A Dirty and Demoralized Appearing
Young Man
And the Big Injun Story He Told His Land
lady Regarding the Occurrence-fiit
Him In the Left Optic

On Friday evening very inc briated
gentleman boarded Second street ,elec-
trio car at the corner of Spring, Just as
it commenced its trip up the hill. The
said i. g. was ;ali, passably good looking,
about ;33 or 35 years of age and was
dressed in good taste. His clothing was
of . rich, black material and a glance
sufficsd to show that 1t had not long left
fashionable tailor's establishment as a
new suit. The footwear of patent leather
exhibited the latest in toe shapes; his
linen was immaculate; his necktie was
faultless and his hat was a black Fedora
with generous brim. A clean shave
added 10 the neatnsss and general thor
oughness of his grooming-but he was in
toxlicated, verv so. His condition was
manifested by an unsteadiness in his
legs. flushed face. peculiar eye and
a righteousness that was startling in its
spontaneity and originality. just as the
car started up Second street the fellow
swung himself upon the front platform
and took up position behind the motor
neer and against the front door. Within
few seconds the fun commenced.
First he transferred a cigar from his
waistcoat pocket to his mouth, bit off
the end with many a contortion and then
from another pocket produced match.
The most convenient thing within easy
reach upon which to strike it was the
back of the motorneer and instantly
the conclusion was acted upon. The man
at the switch and brake handles felt
sharp and swiftly drawn line down from
the northeast corner to the southwest cor
ner of his back and marvaled greatly
thereat. Thinking, however that it was
an accidental brushing of the we'll
dressed passengers finger tips he looked
straight ahead ard said nothing. 1t was
not long before zip! and ccompanying
it was again the swiftly described line
drawn diagonally down the motorneer's
back. This time he turned quickly SO
as to look into the face of the /. &. and,
with the object in view of having a great
curiosity satisfied demanded in tone full
OF business:
What the blansely blank are you do
ine?"
A Figureroa street smile lighted up
the face of the !. g., as he laconically
,sw ered. Striking, hic. a match"
well, say, young Teller, don't git too
gay; you strike your demned match
Somewhere else but on my back. See?"
mine. Great scheme And SO saying.
ran his fingers down into his vest pocket
in search of another match.
The motorman attended strictly to his
duty after the above quoted brief con-
veisation, not thinking that ne was to
be annoyed again. Inside of sixty
seconds, however. the effort of the i. &. to
get light and to get it in the same man
neY as before was felt. For the second
time the man at the brake handle turned
upon his we'll dressed passenger and in
exceedingly pointed lang Lage demanded
an explanation of the latter's conduct.
For reply the l.g. tried to draw the still
tt<,I t0y> = t,pv -
mustache, which was decidedly red III
hue. Tho owner Of it became angry and
threatened to throw the funny party off
the car.
Throw me off?' querried the i. e. !;
you'll throw, hic, moth ing off. I'm
going to shtay right here an I'm going
to light this weed. Sno use getting funny
with me. 1 live on carmsn]an'6it,ll be a
cold day wher you throw me off. Bet
chur boots! Fie}"s '.'ii @afi 9i' 7s7'' ~
By thar time the car had reached Olive
street and just whe:e the finely triturated
dust on the hill is the thickest. Business
was not rushing; the car had but one
scene too we'll to be annoyed at a little
delay. Approaching all Of these con-
ditlons, the motor mi n. brought his car to
stand-st and then sailed into the
obstrepe,ous fellow. 1t was but the work
of a minute to dislodge his nibs and
10 Toll MIN OVer ana over III tn6 aust.
Then the car went on.
An hour later a dilspidated, dusty, de-
moral disappearing young man sum-
moned to his aid ull the will mower If
which he was capable. opened the front
door OF Flower street residence. entered
with an admirably checked lunge and at
last stood before lady. He took off his
hat and from the dent or crease in mis-
Fedora there fell upon the hall floor
about a pint OF sand. ""WLy, jack"
asked the lady, rapidly and infection
be.raying the emotion she felt. where
have you been? What has happened to
your"
Looking his landlady and friend as
squarely III the eye as his condition
would permit the j. e. said: Had a
hght whaling big fight. Licked four
mon: one of 'em-hic-one of 'em u been
looking upon the wine when it was red
and got funny with me-hic-Hit him in
the lef optic an then l mad to tackle
three more men. But 1 licked 'em,
though. KnocKed 'eln COLI; knocked EN-
silly. But this is nv busy night-hic-
and I'm going to bed. Goo eve." And
so saying the bibulous gentleman disap-
peared through the doorway of an adjoin-
ing room. closing the door after him and
AGAIN repeatinp 81 licked 'em-vou hot