Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-07-18

sprinkles OF Spice.
In languid summer when each tree
In lazy cadence rustles,
The biithe MOSQUITO seems to be
The only thing that hustles.
Washington Star.
Hoax THAT story of yours reminds
me OF tramp" Joax-"How sol"
Hoax-"It won't wash."-Philadelphis
Record. fr.s
The teacher-"Now, who can tell me
which travels the faster-heat or cold?"
Johnnie Bright (promptly)-"Heat, Of
course. Anybody can catch cold
Tid-Bits.
Judge-"You say you have some
means of subsistenceY Tramp-"Yes,
you honor" Judge-'Then why 10 IL
not visible?" Tramp-"T ate THAR
lem Life.
Miss Parique-'Tn New York do the
prominent social lights smoke" Miss
Caustique-"Yes, particularly after
they have been turned down."-New
York World.
Briggs-"You say the phrenologist
who examined your head wasn't very
complimentary" Hardly. He told
me I was fitted to be leader In so
ciety."-Life.
'I'm going now; yes. I'm going, go
ing" murmured Steigher. what an
excellent auctioneer you'd make" said
the heartless but tired Miss Nycegerl
Boston Courier.
Tramp-"Do you know what 1t is,
sir, to be Stunned by all; to not have
the grasp Of single friendly hand"
Stranger-"Indeed, 1 do. I'm life in
surance agent"-Judge.
First Carpenter-T can't see what
you are driving at" Second Carpenter
(howling with pain)-"Well, can now;
l was driving at the nail, but hit my
thumb. Boston Courier.
Smallwort-"Well, 1 have to hunt up
another cook. Our latest one left yes
terday." Ford-"Did she basely desert
you for gold" mo. Copper.
burg Chronicle Telegraph.
First cycler (uearing a road-house)-
Do you suppose we can get anything to
drink there? Second cycler-Just look
at the enormous aggregation Of wheels
in the carriage shed.-Life.
Principal Ito new apprentice)-"Ha
the book-keeper told you what you
have to do in the afternoon" Youth
Eyes, sir; was to waken him when
saw you coming.
Stoutlady, ut street crossing Ito police
man)-"Could you see me. across. the
street, officer?" Policeman-lfSure.
madam, 1 could see We tin times the
distance, aisy."-London Tid-Bits. ~
Walk o. Nights-Doctor. what II "a
simple remedy for sleeplessness? Doc
tor-Let the person count Until he Is
asleep. Walk 0. Nights-He can't count.
It's the baby.-Philadelphia Inquirer.
.'My face is my fortune, sir" she said.
"Er-excuse me, madam, but you can't
really mean it." rejoined the astonished
male. Certainly. I'm the lady with the
iron jaw in the dime museum."-Wash-
ington Star.
Baker got into rumpus with po-
liceman the other night said Pink
ney. HE offered to bet the policeman
he didn't dare arrest him." what did
the copper do?" "Took him up."-Har-
per's Bazaar.
"What was the principal object Of In.
terest In America when you were
thereY The eminent British novelist
looked at his questioner with chilling
scorn and replied: II was, of course
Washington Star.
"Begob," said Mrs. Dolan, "that by
Pat of ours'll soon be KNOWN more
than his father does" "Oi'll niver moind
thot," replied Dolan, "if he'll 20 ahead
an know 1t for sure insted nv only
thinkin' he does."-Washingto Star.
"You made a slight mistake in my
poem this morning." said the poet.
Sorry" replied the editor. "What was
it?" "Well, wrote The clouds hang
murky DER the west and you make me
say The crowds hang turkey over my
desk "-Exchanye.
Upguardson-I had singular expert
ence last Tuesday. You remember Il
looked like rain and the weather proph-
cts predicted rain? Atom-Yes. "Well,
I brought my umbrella. raincoat and
rubber shoes dow town that morning."
Eyes" "Well, it rained.' Chicago
Tribune.
81 have come to ask for your daugh-
ter's hand, Mr.. Herrick," said young
Waller nervously. "Oh, well, you can't
have It," said Herrick, "I'm not doing
out my daughter on the installment
plan. When you feel that you can sup
port the whole girl, you may call again."
-Harper's Bazaar.
Edward-Isn't Dick going or in his
writings? Forrest-I haven't noticed
1t. Edward--It seems to me that he has
lost that exquisite delicacy of touch he
used to have. Forrest (ruefully)-By
Jove! You wouldn't think so II you had
seen him work me for ten this morning.
New Rochelle Life.
Friend Perrichon, accompanied by his
wife, took q trip to the outskirts Of
Paris. Very tired and hungry, they
entered an eating house. The proprie-
tor declared that he had nothing but q
chop to offer them. "Only oner' ex-
claimed Perrichon; "then what Is my
wife to haveT-Le Gaulois.
Safely Housed.
In St Paul's one day, London guide
was showing an American gentleman