Crawford avalanche., 1895-06-13
Let q. All Laugh.


who lows not when the peanuts shed
Their husks. and quans beneath the
shade
The ruby tinted lemonade?
Washington Star. o
"Algy and May have tabooed ham,
mocks.v "Why 2" Zone was the cause
of their first falling out."-Harlem Life.
Wiggles-I have just one cigar here.
You haven't any objections, have you?
Waggles-Not II smoke it.-Somerville
Journal.
"Now, Charles, let us make list OF
your debts" Zone moment. dear un-
Gle, till have filed up your inkstand."
-yliegende Blaetter.
Johnny-Mamma, can count all the
way up to twelve. Mamma-And what
comes after twelve, Johnny? Johnny
-Recess.-Harper's Round Table.
Held Just as lief be hung for
sheep as a lamb. She-Well, you'll
be hung for neither: you'll be hung for
a calf or nothing.--Yonkers Statesman.
Jimmy-Timmy Grogan is talkin' OF
gittin' him a bicycle. Mickey-Him!
He amt got de price for de wind wot
goes in de etires.-Indianapolis Journal.
.Attorney-You say. when you asked
him for the money, he used blasphe-
nous language? Riley-I did not, sor.
1 said he swore at me like trooper
Harper's Bazaar.
Simpson-How do you know that your
rival and her father will fall out ana
fight? Jimpson (gleefully)-They'v
both Joined the same church choir
Tammany Times.
Jones-I hear that you have a good
organ at your lodgings. Do you know
how many stops 1t has? She-Only
about three day, and those are not
long Ones.-BOston Globe.
Mr.. Busy Body-If you hang those
turkeys by the feet you will keep them
longer. Mr.. Butcher Business-That
amt what I'm trying to do. l want
to sell 'em.-Harlem Life.
Mr.. Droppin-Is Mr.. Bate In to-dayf
Mr. Bates Partner-No, sir; he's down
at the Rangleys. Mr.. Droppin-Ah!
fishing.-Boston Courier.
Guest-I would like a nice round
steak, rare done, and some fresh fried
potatoes. Waiter Tin stentorian voice.
Carnage in the skillet! Fried Pingrees
on the sideLChicago Tribune.
So devotedly does the Hubite love his
native city that when he calls to the
telephone girl, "Give me Boston," he
invariably adds involuntariIy, ''or' give
me death."-Boston Transcript.
She-The man marry must bea.qRly
a little lower than the angels. "gs4io
(suddenly fiopping)-Here l am on my
knees little lower than one of them.
He got her.-New York Weekly.
81 will work night and day to make
you happy" he said. "No," she an
swered thoughtfully, "don't do that.
Just work during the day and stay at
home at night. t."-Washington Star.
Mrs. Poorman-This money question
seems to be getting very bitter. How
do you feel about it, dear? Mr.. Poor
man-Bad enough. Really, I'm all
broke up.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
There doesn't seem to be anything
selfish about that man Pingree," said
Uncle Allen Sparks. ''In that potato
patch scheme Of his he has let every
body In on the ground foOr."--ChicagO
Tribune.
Hoax-What 1 object to In your
boarding house is the lack Of tone.
Joax-Huh! i guess you haven't heard
the girl in the next room singing when
Summer Comes Again. n."-Philadelphia
Record.
Mrs. Malaprop-Who are the two
young ladies playing that duet on the
piano? Herr Strawitzki-One is the
daughter of the hostess. Mrs. Malaprop
And, pray, who is her accomplice?-
Eulenspiegel.
"Georgy, DEAR" said the loving moth
er, "Fm very proud nothing has been
brought up against you this term Of
school" GeOrge-So'm /! Wish't
nuthin'd been brought down agin me!
Cleveland Plaindealer.
Cobbs-That was pretty sentiment
young Masher got Off the other night
when bidding Miss Plumpy good night.
Dobbs-So! What was It? Cobbs-
He said he wished she was locked up
In his arms and the key lost.-Truth.
Mrs. Hammand-Mrs. Hashcroft has
Dragged again to-day about keeping
her boarders so long. Mrs. Foraweek
She doesn't keep them long. She
keeps them so thin they look longer
than they actually are.-Indianapolis
Journal. 9
The Salesman (holding up a vellum-
bound brochure)-The price Of the
book Is SO. Mrs. Nurich-Nonsense
You can't impose upon me in that way.
Why, a minute ago you offered me a
book of twice the size for $1.50--Chi-
cago Record,
Mr.. Billus-- Maria. how does It hap
pen that Fanny isn't going to church
with you this morning? Mrs. Billus-
You know as well as do, John, that
when Bessie and Kate and 1 60 to
church somebody has to stay at home.
There isn't room for four pairs Of
sleeves In our pew.-Chicago Tribune.
At the table-''Do you know. Am
aryllis," asked the Cheerful Idiot, "why
the letter 8 Is like the presentation Of
a cigar to colored gentleman The
waiter girl gave 1t up. 81 will tell you.
Angeline," continued the Cheerful Idiot
1T Is because 1t makes the moke
smoke v--Iudia N r,oIfs Io,,-col