The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1895-03-23
The Preacher'e Joke.

The Preacher'e Joke.
Little Dot-The preacher said: 'In
the midst Of life we are In death"
What does that mean?
Little Dick-I guess he ewas sort o
Joking about trolley cars and folding
beds.-Good News.
Temptation.
Friend-When are you going to paint
that gastronomic genre picture you
spoke Of?
Artist-Heaven knows! Every time
I get ready the model tempts me and
eat 1t Fliegende Blaetter.
Break It Gently.
'Haye you read that article on how
to tell bad eggT 'No, haven't,
but my advice would be, II you have
anything important to tell bad egg,
why, break it gently Re-
view, New York.
Just Like a Man.
A man will trust his wife to take care
Of his children, but he won't trast her
In the care Of his prize chickens.-Atch.
ison Globe.
One More Unfortunate,
Jackson (meeting Dobson, with whom
he was out all n1ght)-Hello, old boy;
get home all right?
Dobson-Yes. But my wife wouldn't
speak to me.
Jackssn-Lucky fellow. Mine did,
Harlem Life.
A Consultations
Pattent-Doctor my memory has re-
Gently BECOME shockingly bad.
Doctor-Indeed? In these cases, sfs,
1t is my invariable rule to ask for my
fee In advsnce.-London Punch.
A Distinction.
Mrs. Mcbride John, dear, why are
some grocers called green >grocers?
Mr.. McBride-To distinguish them
from cash grocers, darling.-vogue.
The Real Objection
Don't you think that Snobkins' man,
aers are very affected?'
''No. What makes them really objec-
donable is that they're natural
Washington Star.
Lost Her Reckoning.
Staylate-Well, must be going; 1t M
1 o'clock.
Ethel Knox (sleepily) "A. N, or p. m!
New York World.
A Chaperon Photograph.
Niece-Auntie, dear, Mr.. Maaer;; the
artist, has asked me for my photo; ne
wants to make use Of it for his last pic
ture. Ought I to send tito him?
Aunt-Yes,: you can do. So, but be
sure to inclose with it q photo Of your
mother or some elderly lady. It would
be highly improper to send your photo
by itseif!-Deutsche Warte:
Could Be Trusted.
Gallup-Do you think I can safely
trust business secret to Banks?
Highbee-I should say 80 4 lent
him a sovereign last year and he has
never breathed a word about It since.-
Spare Moments. j..
Mutually Appreciated,
sT like your cheek" said the indsg:
nant maiden to the youth who kissed
her.
"And like yours" said he, as he
kissed her again.-Truth.
A Steady Job. =.
Almost any man can have q steady
Job if he is willing to play puginst all
the time.-Galyeston News.
HE Natural Error.
What do you think Of the: New Wo.
man, Mr.. Marley" :.
'I detest the bold, shrieking creature,
Miss stubbs: How much swe4ter and
more lovable Is the gentle and retiring
old woman like you, Whose
"Sir?
'Whose-eh? Oh Lordr'-New York
Recorder.
A Good Reason.
''What makes you think that Ethel
will never look favorably on Georges
ault?"
Because her parents speak so highly
of fhim."-Washingtpn7Star.
The Average Banquet.
There is a rich sound to the word
banquet" suggesting terrapin, quail,
venison, champaign, sparkling wit and
that sort Of thing. But it usually means
cold chicken, Ice water and dull speech
es.-Atchison Globe,
Inc1 edible.
Mr.. Homeman-Did you read that ar
ficle about q football player getting
shot the other day?
Mrs. Homeman-No,J John; but, good,
ness me, you don't mean to- say that
the game: has come to that!-Boston
News. ....,
People neyer:fail to appreciate good
ness. But you can't fool them. WI1h
bogus goodness. - ..,. s. =.
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