The herald., 1895-11-03
HIS NERVE
WAS AS GOOD AS
A TICKET

He sat IN the hotel smoking room.
The air was blue but the men were happy
happy and reminiscent. He stretched
out his legs, thrust his hands desp into
his pockets, and between the puffs spun
this yarn:
"For dead cold icy nerve had always
thought we travelling men took the cake.
/ thought our right there was none to
dispute, unless 1t be among newspaper
mon. But the prettiest game of bluff I
ever saw was put up by man who was
neither a drummer nor a reporter; but
merely an overworked bank clerk who
had applied for a leave OF absence and
gone south to recuperate. He had drawn
a certain sum for the trip and resolved
not to exceed it. Foolishly he had
neglected to buy an excursion ticket,
arguing that he might want to return by
a different route. And then, as matter
OF course, he found that he had spent his
money not wisely but too well; so.that
he was hund! of miles from home,
ticketless and friendless, and well-nigh
penniless. His cheek book was useless,
for no one knew him and he must be
identified.
"All this l learned later on. NY &C.
quaintance with him began on the train
on one of the southern roads whom he
asked me to stake HIM to enough to see
him home. l had already been touched
several times that trip, so, expressing
every confidence in his probity, declined
the honor he would do me. He tried sew
eral other passengers with ike result.
Then he gave il up, out made us all
prom Sc not to interfere with any game
he tried to play.
Presently the conductor came along.
The Impecunious One, his hat cooked
| q
one corner of his seat, leaning toward an
open window. The conductor shook him,
| gently at first, so that he stirred, and
his hat dropped further over his eye,
but he did not wake; then more roughly.
! saving: Come, sir, your ticket. please
''At that the Impecunious One awoke
with a big start. His hat flew ont of the
window and he flew into great rage.
| He swure at the conductor, abused him
up and down, him and his forefathers
unto the third and fourth generation.
! What did he mean by waking him in that
! valuable to an invalid? That such sud
den, rude awakening might be fatal TO a
weak heart? Were his nerves OF no &C
count? And now he had lost his hat and
would catch his death of cold. 1t was
outrageous.
1.-The conductor bowed before the
storm, and when il had somewh hat abated
offered to replace the hat at the first stop
ping place. And now, sir, let me sac
your ticket. please.
1.-The Impecunious One felt in all his
pockets; went through them all again
out: why, you blankety- BANKED idiot.
YOU. all my tickets not only on this road
but straight through TO Chicago were in
the lining of my hat, and you Knocked 1t
out of the window. I'm in pretty
pickle now. haven't enough with me &c
| Tnia iNiOcv UiI
cost YOU your job. III report YOU to the
company ana teach you to be more care
full how Won startle nervous man.
'sThe conductor tried to soothe him
offered to take him through to the end oil
his division. But ths Impecunioas One
would do him to be landed in some little
near by, one-horse southern town hun
dreds of miles from nowhere. He wanted
70 Get through to Chicago. He must gel
through. He had an appointment there
that was worth thousands OF dollars.
Finally the conductor. by this time hadl,
Frightened. promised to get him tickets
or passes all the way through, and the I'm
pecunious One subsidized. And to the enc
Of that road the conductor, having re
placed the dear departed hat, maintainet
an moy apologize ood ZONE tre tina. s, Woul(
"And it was only bluff after all, 81
we'll carried out that the conductor wa'
completely taken in, and the rest of u
rubbed our eyes and wondered whethe
the Impecuiious Ones attempt to toucl
us was not after all dream.
Later on, travelling over the same
roau | told the conducor how he hst
been worked. And ne said he knew it
for shortly after that tip he received
letter and a check, the former confessIni
the fraud. the latter paying him the full
price of the passage. And he added
That fellow was a genius. If he hat
made fuss at first about the ticket II
been onto to him in minute, but hi
tickets were forgotten. 1t was his nerves
MS health. his heart. his hat that wer
of Importance. And to think that he ha,
no nerves, nor health. nor hat, nor heart
O, is was wicked But that man ha
missed his vocation. He ought to be Of
the stage
And" said the drummer, THROWN
. away the stump of his cigar. 81 though
so, too. for that was the prettiest game G
bluff | ever So W, and | speak from larg
, and varied experience. "-ChMsgo. Trit
| une'