davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1895-07-25
MOST PERFECT MADE.
More Important business.

More Important Business.
Breatheless Observation-Disclosures, I
have been looking for you everywhere!
Your house is on fire!
Ruggles Qntently watching some.
thing across the ,streeD-I'll be along
In minute. l want to see how they
are going to get that safe into that
fourteenth-story window.-Chicago
Tribune.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-12-04
She Had TO Go.

"If you tell lie, you must stick to
IT,"
This is old and to some extent true,
rs woman of my acquaintance proved
recently.
She is stopping at a hotel here and
intends to return shortly to her home,
In Utica.
While out shopping tho other day she
met mother and daughter from her
own town whom she doesn't know so
very we'll or like 80 very much.
But they fell upon her neck.
ooh. Mrs. J. cried the elder,
"if this ism I just glorious To think of
our meeting you here. Wo don't know q
soul In New York, and know you'll
take us round and show us the sights. y
Well, my friend just made up her
mind that she'd do nothing Of the sort
She wanted what little time she had
for herself. So she replied 1T was
wrong of course-
Tim awfully sorry, but I'm living at
New Rochelle, and have just run In for
some shopping. I'm going out again this
afternoon.
ooh, isn't that too bad? What train
do you talsef"
"The 8 o'clock. I"
"Well, we'll go up and sec you off. "
Here was nice state of affairs, but
there was no way out Of 1t that my
friend could think Of without being abb
solutely rude.
So up they all went to the depot, and
that unfortunate woman bought ticket
to New Rochelle, and actually had to &c
there, as her friends upon the platform
gave her no opportunity of escaping
from the train. New York Herald.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-12-04
The Bill Was Paid.

McRad and his wife were going over
their business ledger one evening, con-
templating the overdue accounts which
its pages revealed, and reluctantly ac-
knowledging that many Of them would
have to be written off as bad.
"What' il ye dae ABBOTT this amer" said
McRad mournfully. Here's twa pund
aucht shillings for coat and vest been
OWN by Elder Doolittle since Martin
mas last. I'm fearin we'll no get the
money"
"weel. I'm no sac sure, replied his
wife. leave me to try onyhoo."
Accordingly, the next Sabbath morn
ing, when the collection was taken up,
Mrs. McRad dropped the elders little
bill, f" neatly folded up, into the plate,
and before the week was over the amount
was paid.
"Kirsty, woman" said McRad joy
fully, marriage may be lottery, but
I'm thinkin I've drawn prize. -
Pearsons Weekly.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-12-04

Some amusing anecdotes are related
in the press with respect to the kaiser
and the new Berlin Opera House His
majesty may often be seen in the morn
ing, in civil dress, wearing white
cloak and smoking cigarette, crossing
ON foot from the palace to the Opera
House. There arrived, he takes his po-
sition ON the stage or follows the re-
hearsals from his box. Many comical
encounters have occurred in the semi
darkness between kaiser and scene
shutters, ignorant of the visitors iden-
tity. The emperor, indeed, leaves the
discovery Of his presence to chance, but
this is often betrayed by an objection
from a coulisse which unexpectedly
breaks in during the progress Of re-
hearsal This fortunate gift Of observa-
ticn is usually so we'll employed in
criticism Of the arrangements which
have been made that the general man
ager, stage manager and director Of the
ballet are unable to better achieve sue
cess than by following his suggestions.
The kaiser, it is related, once forgot to
throw away his cigarette ON entering
the Opera House. The inspector there
upon respectfully called attention to the
fact, and his majesty replied, "The
regulations for the preservation of or
der in this house naturally hold good
also for me. Westminster Gazette.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-12-04
Tho Midnight Sun.

1t was glorious night, and the heav-
ems being void of clouds we all felt it
foretold fine view Of the midnight sun,
SO we sat out ON the deck watching it
slowly near the horizon over the town
and hills of Tromso We gathered on
the hurricane deck and on the bridge, by
special favor of the officers, while some,
to have a clearer view, mounted to the
"crow's nest, and others, more agile,
climbed to greater heights in the rat
lines The Norwegian midnight was
at II IA p. M, and we watched with
intense interest the great red orb de-
scend. But hill, higher than many adj
joining, was directly in line of the view
of the sun, although there was de-
preston in the landscape on each side OF
it. The sun came closer and closer to
the horizon, touched the mountains, and
as we looked at our watches we saw 1t
had altogether too much time to spare
before it reached its lowest point. Soon
it was gone from our eyes on deck, but
we could still see, away up the bay, its
full radiance shining on the water.
The first officer suggested the use Of
the naphtha launch and chase after 1t.
No sooner said than done, and as a
number of us scrambled down the steps
and jumped into the boat the officer said
we had but ~ minutes to spare. Away
we flew, first in the shadow and at last
into the full light of the sun, with only
minutes lacking as we regained the
latter. But we had accomplished our
purpose. and when the officer announced
it was just the exact time, 1 1 IA p. m,
and the sun still in sight, we sent up
shout in our enthusiasm that could be
heard the entire length of the bay. The
writer had his faithful compass on his
knee, and gazing down upon it discov-
cred that the midnight sun had set ex-
actly in the north
In the future. when any one attempts
to guarantee the correctness Of state
ment by saying, cts as true as the sun
sets in the west, we shall certainly
doubt his truth and veracity. We know
better The continuous bright light, day
after day and night after night, was
producing an unpleasant effect on our
eyes. They felt strained and weary, and
regardless of the prophecy we were be-
ginning to like darkness better than
light. "-Hartford Times.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-12-04
ENGLISH STREET DOCTORS.
They Make Good Living Peddiing Their
All Curing Pills.


eyes, guv'nor, some on us make o
lot o. money at street doctorin, an some
on us DON'T" said a medical practition-
er, MS he styled himself, to newspaper
man who was passing along the White
chapel road. The street doctor in ques-
ton was one of those who could afford
q horse aud trap, decorated with gor-
peous colors and elaborate lamps, and
an assistant, who helped to pull out
teeth and hand pills and medicine to
purchasers.
"In my case, 1 am glad to say make
something out Of the business. But you
can't do anything with 1t unless you've
plenty of cheek. It's cheek as does 1t.
and no mistake. I guess makes ON an
average durin the summer season, in
Whitechapel an at country fairs, at
least 60 week. Sometimes ! makes
much more. AT Oldham once drew e0
O day. / was sellin q compound pill,
warranted to cure anything, except bro
ken limbs. But | knew q man who did
even better than this. He once had q
week durin the summer Of 1894 when
he made e10 each day.
"Wet weather Is bad time for us, %
then nobody ventures out to buy. I've
sometimes only drawn threepence In
day, an all this time had the expense
Of man an trap 60 stand. remem-
Der once maxim only three an six for
two weeks runnin.
"Of course there is lot O. profit in
the business. My pills aren't dear, an
as l sell them at penny each, or shil-
lin box, you can see there's plenty o.
money to be made In the business. -
London Correspondent.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-12-04
LIGHTNING.
A FrolIo That Yves Beautiful II Terrify-
ing and Hurt No One.


Speaking of lightning rods," said
an army officer, "when I was at West
Point, old Hank Kendrick, our profess
or Of chemistry, electricity and SO
forth, used to give us an experiment.
with lightning rods, which is the only
thing reoollect in connection with
them. He had a battery rugged up to
furnish the lightning. Then he had a
house Of blocks, nice two story house
painted white, with green shutters. On
this house was lightning rod, minia-
ture affair. made fike the ordinary light
ming rod of commerce. He would make
few remarks on the necessity of hay
ing the ROD properly connected with the
ground, explaining that wet earth or
water connecting directly with the
earth was the very best. Then he would
make ground connection of this kind
and proceed to fire few big electric
sparks, or lightning flashes, through the
rod. They would go through all right,
not doing the slightest injury to the
house. Then he would make o few
more remarks, this time to the effect
that little learning is dangerous
thing, and tell about good minister
in the neighborhood who wanted to pro.
tect his house by a lightning rod and
who had heard that water was q good
thing for the rod to end in. So he set
up the rod and had it end in his els
tern, where, as it was carefully cement
ed, there was always certain to be wa
ter The old professor would then put
the end Of the rod in glass Of water,
to represent the cistern, and turn on
his lightning. The big spark would
leap across to the rod and down would
come the house, a heap of blocks, u
Zone Of the most beautiful and at tho
same time one Of the most terrifying
sights ever saw" said another mem
Der Of the group, veteran of the war,
"was down in Arkansas in 1862. was
drilling my regiment one summer after
noon, when a sudden thunder shower
| came up. The men had bayonets fixed,
| and as we started for camp were carry
ing their muskets at right shoulder
shift. Suddenly there began at the tips
| of those bayonets the most marvellous
| electrical display had ever seen. The
| Lightning played about them, dancing,
rolling, flashing, leaping from one to
another, as if it hugely enjoyed the frol-
ic. For an instant thought the whole
| company would be struck down, and
| the men themselves were badly fright
ened. No one was hurt or even shocked
by the brilliant display. York
| Suu
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-12-04
LlNcoLN,s ELoouENcE.
His EARLY Reputation as Debater and
Story Teller.

story TelieT.
One man in Gentryville, Ind, Mr..
Jones, the storekeeper, took Louisville
paper, and here Lincoln went regularly
to read and discuss its contents. All the
men and boys Of the neighborhood gath
cred there, and everything which the
paper related was subjected to their
keen, shrewd common sense. It was not
long before young Lincoln became the
favorite member of the group and the
one listened to most eagerly. Politics
was warmly discussed by these Gentry
vile citizens, and it may be that sitting
on the counter of Jones' grocery Lin
coin even discussed slavery. It certainly
was one of the live questions Of Indiana
at that date.
Young Lincoln was not only winning
in these days in the Jones grocery store
a reputation as debater and story tell
er, but he was becoming known as kind
of backwoods orator. He could repeat
with effect all the poems and speeches
in his various school readers, he could
initiate to perfection the wandering
preachers who came to Gentryville, and
he could make political speech SO stir
ring that he drew crowd about him
every time he mounted stump. The
applause he won was sweet, and fire.
quently he indulged his gifts when he
ought to have been at work-so thought
his employers and Thomas, his father.
1t was trying, no doubt, to the hard
pushed farmers to see the men who
ought to have been cutting grass or
chopping wood throw down their SIC
kles or axes to group around boy when-
ever he mounted o stump to develop
pet theory or repeat with variations
yesterdays sermon, In his fondness for
speechmaking he attended all the trials
of the neighborhood and frequently
walked miles to Bonneville to attend
court.
He wrote as we'll as made speeches,
and some of his productions were even
printed through the influence Of his adj
miring neighbors; thus local Baptist
preacher was SO struck with one of
Abraham's essays on temperance that
he sent it to Ohio, where 1t appeared in
some local paper. Another article. on
"National Politics." SO pleased law
yer Of the vicinity that he declared the
"world couldn't beat it. Ida M. Tar
bell in McClure's Magazine.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-12-04

tie indiscretion in eating, he may be able to
do nothing at all. He isn't capable of con-
tinuous and vigorous effort. His bodily dis
comfort affects his mind. Even when he
knows just what is the matter, he neglects
the simplest precautions and the simple
treatment that would cure him. Most of
dyspepsia starts with constipation, and con-
stipation can be cured. Constipation is the
cause of nine tenths of all human sick
ness. Some of its symptoms are sick and
bilious headache, dizziness, sour stomach,
loss of appetite foul breath, windy belch-
ings, heartburn pain and distress after eat
ing All these are indicative of derange-
ments of the liver, stomach and bowels,
and all are caused by constipation. DR..
Pierce's Pleasant Pellets are the quickest,
easiest and most certain cure for this condi-
ton. They are quick, but not violent in
their action. There is nothing about them
that will give the system any shock. They
not only relieve Immediately, but If taken
according to directions, they will absolutely
cure. "You do not become slave TO their
use" They are different and better than
any other pill or preparation offered for the
same purpose Almost all druggists under
stand this, and are conscientious enough to
tell you so. The druggist who tries to sell
you substitute is not a safe man from
whom to buy medicine. If you will send
your address, we will send You a sample
package, containing from 4 to 7 doses, and
YOU can see exactly what the Pellets !"
will do for you.
If you win send 81 one-cent stamps to cover
cost Of mailing only, we will send you FREE the
nb useful hs e s e1Ss
Medical Adviser, IN Plain Language q book Of
1908 pages, profusely illustrated, the great ex
pense Of preparing which has been covered by
sale of $4,000 copies at the regular price SIS
| per copy Address, Worlds Dispensaty Medica
| Association, No. Cog Main Street, Buffalo, N.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-12-04
LAMBERTvILLE, n j WEDNESDAY DECEMBER A. 1895:

and Lucien was still sitting at the in-
formal table Finally, a minute before
2, the proprietor arose brusquely and
said in loud voice: 1.-The bank is
closed, gentlemen. Enough for today. "
Lucien bounded to his feet Roughly
repulsing the gamblers who crowded
about him and regarded him with en-
vious admiration he hurried and ran to-
ward the stone bench. From distance
he saw the child under the gaslight.
"Thank God p he cried "She is still
there.
Hewent up to her and took her hand.
ooh, how cold she isl Poor little
thingp
He took her in his arms and raised
her up. The child's head fell backward
and she did not awaken.
"How soundly one sleeps at her age ~
He pressed her against his chest to
warm her, and seized with vague anx-
iety he was about to kiss her on her eyes
to awaken her. Then he saw with ter
ror that they were half open, and that
they were set and CHASTITY. A horrible
suspicion crossed his brain. He put his
mouth close to the child's. No breath
came out.
While Lucien was winning fortune
with the gold louis stolen from the
child she had died, died with cold.
Choking with anguish, Lucien tried to
cry out, and in the effort he aroused
from his nightmare and found himself
| 1xxs. ~ ok
where he had dropped asleep shortly be-
fore midnight, and where the porter,
the last to leave in the morning, had
left him undisturbed, out of sympathy
for his misfortune.
The December morn shone through
the frosty panes. Lucien went out,
pawned his watch, took bath, ate his
breakfast, then went to the recruiting
office, where he enlisted as private in
the First regiment of African chasseurs.
Today Lucien De Hem is a lieutenant.
He has only his salary to live upon, but
it is sufficient, as he is prudent and
never touches card. 1t seems that he
oven saves something A few days ago
q comrade who followed him distance
In the steep streets of La Kasbah saw
him give aims to little Spanish girl
sleeping in doorway and had the in
discretion to see just how much he had
given to poverty. He was much sur
prised at the poor lieutenant's gener-
osity.
Lucien De Hem had placed gold
louis in the girls hand l-Omaha World
Herald.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-12-04
TIE PINK VII

An old log house in the l'astarc lands,
Shattered, forsaken ard brown,
It's windows gone, its broken door
And its doorstep tumbled down.
But spirit fingers near the spot
With sweet old time repose,
For in the tangled masses round about
Blossoms the pink wild rose.
/ gather a bunch of the fragrant flowers,
And picture seems to rise.
stand in the past hundred years
And see meath the sunset skies
The housewife stand by her spinning wheel
Toiling at twilight close.
An old brown jar on the window sill
Is filed with the pink wild rose.
The husband sits on the doorstep there,
With the children playing near,
And then time marches with silent tread
Till it passes ySar by year,
And the old log house, deserted, is
A prey to the rains and SHOWS,
While the only voice of the days gone by
Is the voice of the pink wild rose.
Florence Josephine Boyce.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-12-04
wouldn.t WANT hoe presenoe.

The boy had smashed his fathers
shaving mug and done sundry other
damage, when his mother discovered
him.
ooh, Freddiel' she exclaimed, hor-
rifed. "What will your papa say when
he comes home and sees what you have
donef"
"Well, mamma, I don't think !
would like to repeat it before you. -
Pearson's Weekly.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-12-04

There are several holes in the Yellow
stone park region which are locally re-
puted to be bottomless. " Geological
authorities say that they are dry gey-
sers. y Into one of them, known as
"Hell's Back Door," 10000 feet OF
line, with weight attached, has been
lowered, without striking bottom. st.
Louis Republic.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-12-04

"Are these the photographs I order
ed?" asked the customer.
eyes, SIR" replied the photographer.
"They're paid for, believer
eyes, sir. -
"All right. Wrap them up. Thanks
Good mor-say, do you think look like
tho photographer"
"Oh, yes, the likeness is excellent"
"Say, will you do me the favor to
come out with me into the alley? I'd
like the privilege of building face on
you like that ''--Chicago Tribune.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-12-04

Human life, which is fluid and not
fixed, is like other fluids in seeking a
level. 1t has always done this in times
past and has not rested till it has found
the level Of equality in some place or
other. 1t once found this in classes, and
these became continent with the gradu-
al effect of time on their borders and
flowed into orders, larger and vaster.
At last the larger expanses have begun
to burst their bounds and to meet In
the Unreasonable level Of equality Of So
oiety.-From Equality as the Basis Of
Good Society,"" by W. D. Howells, in
CentnrY.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-12-04
Art and Time.

~ never" said the young man,
"could see any sense in that line about
art is long and time is fieetipg. T"
at is evident" said the elder man,
"that you never have had occasion for
your wife to construct her complexion
preparatory to attending the opera. -
indianapolis Journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-12-04
unuII,lnr 70 Experiment..

She-No, Ned, it wouldn't be ju-
dicious for us to marry until after you
have had your salary increased.
He (pleadingly)-But two can 1--we
cheaper than one, you know, Nellie.
She-Yes, know, that's what people
say. As matter of fact, they have to.
-Goneryille Journal
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-12-04

In all the affairs of life let It be your
great care not to hurt your mind or Of
fend your Judgment. And this rule, II
observed carefully in all your deport-
ment, will be mighty security to you
in your undertakings. -Epictetus.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-12-04
A Governors Daughters Name.

The pretty little newcomer at the
governors mansion in Atlanta has been
chistened Georgia Hardeman Atkinson
in honor Of tho state of which her IA
ther is the popular chief magistrate and
its big hearted treasurer, Uncle Bob
Hardeman -Columbu (Ga. Enquirer
Snn
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-12-04
After Eating . Gentleman.

Pa Tiger-I don't think I'd care to
be in the midst Of civilization.
Ma Tiger-Why not, love?
Pa Tiger-It's so much nicer to let
civilization be in the midst Of me-
New York Sun.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-12-04
Explained.

"Pa, what is trip hammer"
''It's the hammer, my son, that your
ma leaves ON the carpet when she hangs
ap O picture. Detroit Free Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-12-04
The dysnentic car.

The dyspeptic car
ries a dreadful load
on his back. 1t seems
as If he were really
made up of two men.
One of them ambi-
tious, brainy and en-
ergetic ; the other
sick, listless, peevish
and without force.
The eak m a n
weighs the other one
down. The dyspep-
tic may be able to do
pretty good work one
day, and the next day
hecauaa IF aor,a i;f-
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-12-04

The strangers who go up the railway
to vesuvius, in spite of the long journey
(eight hours there and back and the
high price (Rl). number about 10000
yearly.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-12-04

Over 1000 patents have been issued
in the United States for the manufac-
ture Of inks.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-12-04
Dauchy's Advertisements,
BREAKFAST-sUPPER

900 ORDERS In three weeks 40 orders iu
OOV every IL calls; :" "$5 to $40 every day of
the year," :" 1870 orders in S15 days" Terms free.
Outfit 80 cts. JAS. II. EARLE, Publisher, Boston.
Nov. 12-4w.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-12-04

The LATEST EDITION of our VEST PoCK-
EFT STOCK AND GRAIN STATISTICS" book
which we issue quarterly. will be mailed FREE to
you upon application. This book contains
cord of the markets monthly price of Stocks the
High and Low on Wheat, Corn and Provisions for
THIRTY-TWO YEARS; also other valuable in for
nation. Write for our WEEKLY MARKET LET
TER p" sent free.
JAS f. TAYLOR 4 CO.,
s0s Produce Exchange, New York City.
Aug 81, 1e95-4w