Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1895-09-10
NEVER AGAIN"

L w ultA tNCA hush ihtp as tiiS
apparent champion Of anarchism anc
bombs? Why did subsequently attemp
to repudiate the insinuation and try e
throw ridicule ON the Russian and Lon
don police? Why, after my recent dis
comfture over that dog license business,
do | appear again before the public
"Concei,. | think / hear you say,
"mere vanity and morbid thirst afte,
| notoriety" IL may DO SO. but just nj
| present am constrained to admit that
these are not the feelings which pre-
dominate in my bosom On the contrary.
| feel sufficiently humble to apologize
for my very existence and am only
driven to my present course by tho feel
ing that a recital Of my latest expert
ence may prove warning TO those OF
my follow creatures who. by persisting
in a reckless waste of ink. hope to at
tain to fame.
How was to know there was real
Inspector Belville at Scotland Yard!
And-but, there, had better begin at
the beginning. II was about week aft
er the appearance in prominent jour
nal Of my tale. describing our attempt
Il refer 10 brother George and myself
TO personate q couple Of designing an
archists. and the subsequent recoil OF
the scheme ON our own heads, that sat
meditating in my rooms. George and
the terrier. the cause Of all the trouble,
were out for stroll. was revolving
in my mind the CHASTITY failure Of that
silly enterprise, and wondering whether
should ever meet that inspector Of dog
licenses again. when heard a knock ai
the door
Ny worthy landlady soon appeared
with neatly engraved card, bearing
the following legend: John Belville
Inspector. II. NJ. Criminal Investiga-
tion Department. Scotland Yard, 5. ". -
"Jehosophat" | family murmured.
here's nice affair. This is the genu.
inc article. and | am lost man. You
will observe my nerves had not yet re.
covered from the recent shock they had
sustained, therefore, when the owner Of
the card entered the room, l must, C
put il mildly. have looked disconcertcd.
''Er-sit down. inspector. Glad TO
see you. I'm sure-uneSpeoted honor.
Anything can do for your" concluded.
with miserable attempt at light heart
edness.
Memories of the aspersions had, in
my story. cast upon the officer Of this
name (then only existing in my imagi
nationl crowded in upon me, and | felt
exceedingly low as the representative OF
the law took the chair l indicated.
"You We're perhaps not altogether un-
prepared for my visit. Mr.. Timbs-Mr.
Reginald Timbs:" queried the inspector
impressively. and felt his eyes look
ing through Inc.
We'll. I replied, somewhat merry
ously, II can't say that expected you,
because-no offense intended, inspector
i had no idea that Scotland Yard was
happy in the possession Of the profes-
sional services Of a gentleman Of your
name
Then how came you, sir, may ask,
to make mention in this widely read
periodical" and here he held out the
familiar green cover-''of my namei"
That easily explained, said. II
invented il. 4"
do you seriously expect me to be-
heve that?" rejoined the august official.
"Have been connected with the yard
for five and twenty years, and well be-
fore the public nearly the whole Of that
time. and then TO be told that John Bel
Vile is not known!" and the worthy III
spector began TO get warm.
We'll. can only assure you" re-
piled
Assurance. interrupted the little
man. for he was not of an imposing
height. II dare say you have plenty of
that, but it won't do for me. No, sir.
it spells damages in my case. ;"
"Yes. but look here. you know, said
l. returning to the charge, "it's no
affair Of mine Ihad no idea you existed
in the flesh; but, in any case, it seems
to me your remedy is against the pub
Usher of the paper. don't pretend to
be well up in the law Of libel" con-
tinued. but ! have always understood
the paper is responsible Hadn't You