The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-06-25
cARE coHoRr WRITES.
R4PENsToCK }

Mr.. EDTToR:-The '~'greenest" young
man I ever had the pleasure of travel
ing with lives just a mile or two from
our house. We met on an excursion
train bound for Columbia, 8. c., and
struck up a conversation on the
weather, ETC., when he interrupted by
asking if we had crossed the South
Carolina line. 1 told him we hadn't
crossed it yet, but when we did I would
inform him Of the fact.
After a while I noticed we were in
the land of Tillman, 80 / turned to my
friend who was gazing intently out the
car window and said: young man,
we are now in South Carolina"
"Well, by Gosh" he exclaimed, this
looks just like North Carolina. I
thought South Carolina was red"
"RedI' 1 replied, "What put suchan
absurd idea as that into your head9"
"Why," he said, in tones which be-
trayed his verdancy, on the map what
pa has hung up in the sitting-room at
home South Carolina is painted red"
Immediately fell asleep anddreamed
of the 90 years to come before our
Superintendent of Public instruction
could again ladel out free education to
those benighted mortals hanging
around the free school counters.
I received the following letter last
week, and for the benefit of a large
number of my readers, will answer it
publicly:
"DEAR COHoRT:-How should a man
comport himself while playing a social
game of whist where his partner is a
ladyG Should he smile pleasantly at
all times, and never criticise or show
annoyance at his partners blunders9
HoYLE."
Ny DEAR HOYLE:-I feel incapable
to the Gask your letter imposes upon
me. I fear I cannot answer you salts
~factorily; nevertheless, I will giveyoua
set of rules I use in cases similar to the
one you describe above, and leave you
to adopt or reject them, as you may
determine:
LIST. If your partner has plenty of
trumps, together with q long suit of
clubs, and leads from the ten spot of
spades, and you lose your king by play
ing it third in hand, laugh immoderate-
ly. Tell her the play was brilliant
that you never saw it done better-that
it was played exactly according to the
rules laid down by the American Whist
Players Association.
2nd. When you get the lead and
play the ace of your long suit of
diamonds and your partner trumps it,
laugh till your sides hurt. Tell her she
will certainly make six odds without
your aid.
3rd. When she leads back the ten of
spades and the player on your right
illnesses with his queen while you are
forced to follow with the jack, lean
back in your chair and roar. When at
last you catch your breath, tell her
you never enjoyed a game more in
your life that you never before played
with such an accomplished partner.
4. When you whist for trumps, and
your partner with six trumps in her
hand fails to return your lead, throw
down your cards and with a beaming
countenance quit the game. Plead an
urgent business engagement which
cannot be postponed. Before leaving,
though, assure your partner that you
trust at an early date to have the pleas
ure of again benefiting by her skill in
the charming game of whist.
Follow these simple and easily com
piled with rules, and you will certainly
have no trouble in securing a fair
partner whenever you desire to engage
in a game at cards. CABE COHoRT.