Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-12-12
TEA-TABLE SALAD.

TEA-TABLE SALAD.
Father "What was your mother talk
! ing about just now?'
/ SOM don't know
! Father-"Why, you sat and heard it
air.
Son-"Yes: but she was talking to the
| baby. London Judge.
/ Teacher-:.Whata are the principal prod
ucts of Cuba?''
! Tommy-"S aches, kilograms and edi-
torials. ''-Indianapolis Journal.
He's hailed by girls both fair and sweet
| Who greet him from afar,
Yet he is not a hero, but
| Conductor of the car
New York Herald
Whyte-"What made you cnange doe
| tors? | thought Dr. Pellet was your
| family physician.
| Browne-"So he was; but / never like
to owe any one doctor more than $780,
Somerville Journal
ibid you have nice Thanksgiving
| Tommy! - asked the young mans aunt.
! pretty good" was the answer, with
/ the air of one who makes the best of
/; things; though I'm not as sick as l was
| last year.
! Il only wish they'd confne Thanks
| giving to one day"
! WELL don't they"
| Not at my house. I'll have to eat
| cold, minced, deviled and croquetted tur-
key all next weekr'-Chicago Record.
| Observation-Disclosures picking up any,"
| Brown-''Yes. | am thankful to say
| that it has; the hard times are over.
I've got employment for my wife and
| both my little girls. Nothing like hust-
/ ling. Exchange.
How sweet and pleasant it is to be-
| long to some secret society. and after
| many years of listening to the continual
| iteration of one collocation of words. to
be followed to the grave by IN awkward
squad in black coats and white gloves
two sizes too big!-Boston Transcript.
Il think there'd be less sin in the
world if there were fewer command
ments." said Darlington.
Il don't see" observed Whitechokcr,
how that would affect matters"
'"There'd be fewer l., break" explained
Darlington.-Harper's Bazaar.
Was not that a most touching speech
! of our hosts on the satisfaction arising
! from doing good to ones fellow Great
| nres" said one of the guests to his
neighbor.
Il quite agree with you. was the re-
! ply; "why. even old Fitzsenmeier. the
money-lender dropped a-tear into the
| collectors plate. '-Unsere Gesellschaft.
.SIMILITUDE.
! 1t is in football as in life
! So say some learned tutors:
| A few perform the real strife:
| The others are but .'rooters.
| Washington Star
do you think it will rain tonight"'
asked citizen of the policeman. Il
don't know, sir: I've only been i'll the
| force one week." replied the policeman
| Tid-Bits.
| Offspring-'Pa. what Goes it mean
when it says he was person of infinite
| leisurey'
| TIL
I'm awful busy. Means probably that
he was messenger boy
Yabsley-''This is a dollar tie. but I
| got it at a dry goods store for II cents
| Mudge-"Ah! SO you saved 23 cents"
| Yabsley-''No. | lost II cents. | had
to wait so long for my change that when
| came out | had to spend 40 cents for
a shave and haircut. Indianapolis
Journal.
| A miser grows rich by seeming poor;
an eXtravagant man grows poor by SEEM
ing rich.-Shenstone.
Paw asked Johnny, what grows i'll
| a beer garden!
''The head. my son. groaned Mr.. Jag
way, applying some more pounded ice
Chicago Tribune
No man who has once heartily and
wholly laughed can be altogether and IL
reclaimably depraved.-Carlyle.
"Wiggins is a whole lot of sports
man, isn't he?" ''Yes: a dead game
sportsman "a what?' Buys most
Of his game. indianapolis Journal
| $50 you want to marry one of my
daughters, do you? Suppose you take
| the eldest"
But my dear sir. my debts are not
so large as all that. -Fliegende Blaet-
! ter.
Now the merry time comes nigh.
When the lass, so slick and shy.
VIII apprisshiate her haPs weakest joke;
| She will laugh with widest glee-
After Christmas he will find that he is
| broke. Philadelphia Record.
THE RISK TOO GREAT
| '.Gifts are so cheap for Christmas
| She said with a sigh,
! THAT it really seems almost wicked
To let them go by ~
| ''And you are so dear, my angel"
That husbands reply,
'"That cannot bear to let you
| Attempt to go buy"
detroit Free Press
Had some Good Points.-"I can't use
this as a poem, MISS said the editor,
! "but if you'll shorten it Il little I'll pub
| fish it as new college yell Chicago
| Tribune.
| Ethel-''She forgaye me- Jack
'How divine!' Ethel-"And has re-
minded me of it ever since" Jack
How humanw-Puck.
4 Growing Demand r They talk !, .. Of
| the export trade?''-Brooklyn Life.
| Benedict-"Why don't she marry you?
! Is there another man in the case? Sin
gleton-'Yes; her "-Tid-B Bits.
!
| Funny Incidents.