The morning times., 1895-07-05
IN THE PHANTOM VILLAGE
Fourth Was a Grand FiasCO in
New Alexandria.
CROWDS WERE NOT THERE
Only a Few Misguided People Went
to the Miusmatic Frog Pond on the
Grass Are Palmed Off-Scenes Dur
Ing the Celebration"

One OF the expected fiascos took place
yesterday at that semi-mythical mud-flat
known as the New Alexandria. Heaven
save the mark and the name!
1t is a wonder that the people of old Alex
andria, the classic, and the progressive, do
copyright name by the misguided people
who run the city on paper and in the
marsh, known as the New Alexandria.
The only way TO get anybody with any
sense at all, with the exception of the fellows
and their families who are interested in
these fake town lots, to visit the New Alex
andria is by free tickets and by adver-
tising in newspapers which have been noti-
fled by The Times that the New Aiexan-
dra boom is swindle in the superlative
degree.
1t is perhaps an unfortunate coinci-
dence, but nevertheless true one, that
whenever big thing is advertised at
this alleged New Alexandria the heavens
are sure TO weep copiously upon 1T.
ALWAYS WET IN THE TOWN.
1t would not, however, make much diff
ference as 10 the condition Of the soil
whether il did or did not rain. The mois-
ture is sure to be there whether from
above or below.
The accidental from above met the eter-
nal from below yesterday-the glorious
Fourth OF July-and there was marsh mud
and malediction enough in evidence to
suit even the bullfrogs of the adjacent
marshes.
DiIgent and semi-Complip entary adver-
tlsng induced some people TO go 10 New
Alexandria yesterday from Washington
and Alexandria
Thousands OF tickets were Issued last week
and people were induced to go to the New
Alexandria to take part in the alleged fes-
tivities at zone of the most modern hotels
in the vicinity of Washington"
1t is about time for the genuine hostelries
in the vicinity Of Washington TO protest
against this insult to the name OF suburban
| hotel.
One fact is worth thousand arguments.
The soil of the New Alexandria is not thick
| enough. or consistent enough To sustain a
! greasy pole. Ill truth, the earth cries out
against the patent fraud.
The only thing OF interest at this fabu-
/ lous, this phantom city yesterday was a
/ greasy pole. They stuck 1t in the ground,
! but alas! the soggy, unadheSlve subsOIl
| could not support it, and the pole was
/ established directly in front OF the hotel.
GROUND DWASTOOWEAK.
| Although it was sunk deep, it could not
be- steadied Boys clambered up but they
were shaken down by the incessant floun-
| dcring of the pole in the mud below. 1t
wobhled in such a way as TO show that
Notwithstanding the care taken to make it
a Fourth Of July monument, it couldn't
stick in that kind Of soil And yet they
ask people TO buy lots and build on this
sort of ground
Another diversion was the dancing
pavilion This was erected out of coarse
pine boards just in front of the hotel in the
| suburbs, with the most modern improve
ments. There was very good band at
| one end of the room and a man with ham
sandwiches il the opposite corner. At
least he said in loud voice that they were
ham sandwiches and nobody challenged his
! statement for no one bought them duriDg 6
the hour that The Times attended the
! Fourth OF July bali.
There were four ladies who danced and
eight children who cut capers across the
| peanut shells and lodged the rain that came
down through the skyIght. The rain, Of
course, wet the floor and the peanut shells
made the glissa ndo movement absolutelyim-
possible.
Along the rails separating the dancers
| and the peanu tCTuShers, was motley crowd
of black and white people The male col
Ored people We're smoking cigarettes while
out on the adjacent marsh, were two boys
|
continuously.
ONLY MARSH GRASS.
There was to have been a baseball game
but it was prevented by the rain and the
ancient and eternal condition of what they
called the grounds, " but which were really
water and marsh grass closely cropped fo
the Fourth of July celebration.
The colossal parody of the glorious Fourt
was undoubtedly legend in bad writing
but accidentally good spelling, which wa
nailed up on the front veranda or III
"hotel" which read: Ham sandwiche
in the hotel Office That much of tn
advertisement was true, because The Time
entered the office aud distinctly saw
small boy at the office counter seliu
the same. He was also butchering som
sweet potato pies for the benefit of thOS
who would not or could not eat the haI
sand wiches.
Now as to cheese sandwiches: TIL
man who circulated in the ballroom wit
the ham sand wiches and mustard pot ha
n plate OF them, aud little pot c
it, which would have done full juStiC
to a cake walk celebration. The ha
sandwiches We're very small. as If the
had been erected out of very little pig
but it is true that the mustard was a
lbitum.
As to the crowd 1t was evidentl
1rOn tne country, anu HOt ellueI from oi
Alexandr ia or Washington. The girl
were nearly all of the bucoEc type. i
went without saying that they We're no
from Alexandria or from Washington
because there. was only one in the crow
that had metropolitan chew Of gum i'll
side of her pretty lips.
ALL THERE WAS TO BE SEEN.
The crowd that did not choose to asSim
late with the terribly commonplace col
tingent of negroes and whites in the fort
ground STAYED on the hotel piaZzas, wheI
they saw what was to be seen, as abov
noted, and that was all there was.
was said that there would be firework
last night, but they We're witnessed b
not as many as 100 people.
Since the last time The Times visite
New Alexandria one new frame of builo
ing has been erected. but it is still only
frame. The factories are in statu quo
and the frogs are still singing their requieT
over one of the lonesomest spots in tn
commonwealth of Virginia.
If there was anything possible in visl
to New Alexandria yesterday except tn
m, so Of WHISKY sale pf ham 81 III