Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-10-17
OUR BUDGET OF FUN
SAYINGS AND DOs
iNGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes aad Joke1cts that Are Supposed
to Have Been Recently Born-Sayinge
and Doings that Are Odd. Curious an0
Lauyhable-The Weeks Humor.
Let us All Laugh.

No more the style endures,
OF woman new but still divine,
He asks, Can be yours"
Washington Star.
VIII some fisherman kindly inform
us how the bass can reach the upper
ea?-Boston Transcript.
''They say that Gertrude's husband
is almost illiterate" well, he signs
a check beautifully. Chicago Record.
Smokeless powder has been introduce
ed at West Point. The cadets wear it
on their coat lapels after every dance
Chicago Dispatch.
The ST Louis girl wrote: Don't phale
to be thar Her Kansas City beau
replied; 81 will be thar; there's no such
word as phale. Inter Ocean.
Bobby-Paw, what's the difference
between AQUA and water? Paw-The
druggist will show you, my son. that
the difference is merely the price
Syracuse Post.
Never" began the philosophical
drummer, "never marry a woman with
Il Cuit. HSSCA
do" said the drummer from Chicago
indianapolis Journal,
Fuddy-There goes Widow Grimes.
A great woman, that; always looking
out for number one. Duddy-Always
looking out for number two, you mean.
Boston Transcript.
NO. no; wouldn't dare to have my
husband help when we move" why
notY Hes depot baggageman, you
know, and he'd be sure to forget him.
self Chicago Record.
DO you call Pearys latest eXpedi-
ton to the Arctic regions successful
one?" asked Hiland. II do" replied
Haklet. He got back alive."-Pitts-
burg Chronicle Telegraph.
''He didn't have the sand to propose,
did he, Bessie?" Eyes, but she reject
ed him. She said that while he had
the sand to propose, he didn't have the
rocks to rry"-Harper's Bazaar.
Papa. know what I'm going to buy
for your next birthday" well, what?"
"A nice painted shaving mug" But
l have fine one now" ooh, I've just
broken that" -Fliegende Blaetter.
Do you hear the ocean moaning,
Eyer moaning, sad and low?
'Tis because that fat old bather
Stepped upon it's undertow.
University Herald.
'"rhese Jokes about the young man
STAYING so late" remarked Chollie at
about II :5S D. M, make me tired
Dear met" said Maud Edith, 81 had an
idea you never got tired. "-Indianapo-
lie Journal.
There's one good thing about the
melancholy days Of autumn said
sneersby. what is that?" when
man gets plain, ordinary cold he
can't go about calling it hay fever. =
Washington Star.
Teacher-Are there any exceptions to
the rule that heat expands and cold
contracts? Tommy-Yes'm. The ice
man leaves lot bigger twenty pound
chunk since it got older."-Indianap
oils Journal.
A short time ago a publisher brought
out book entitled advice to Plain
Women Only one copy has yet been
disposed OF, and that was taken by the
office boy to his mother for curl paper.
II +. '96 Kalendar.
perhaps II | were to boil it down.
suggested the space writer. Wouldn't
DO any good" said the obdurate edit
or Take a gallon of water and boil it
down to a pint. and it would still be
nothing but water Albany Argus.
what do you think Of this previous
existence theory q Know it is to be
supported by IS. For instance. !
know woman only % years old who
often thoughtlessly tells about things
that happened 35 years ago."-IIl!an-
apolis Journal.
II would give the world to call YOU
mine,'' he said ardently. mo, Haroli'
she answered kindly, but coldly; YOU
may think you would, but you wouldn't.
You couldn't buy the world on eighteen
hundred dollars year, you know
washington Star.
II wouldn't worry so much about that
boy of yours at college," said the friend
Of the family. He's not poker play
err Il know he isn't" replied the faith
er, ruefully, 'tbut from the size Of his
expense account I'm afraid he thinks
he is Chicago Evening Post.
1t ha.n't no use in talkin' now, they
kennot sail a boat;
They think they've got a trotter when
it's nuthin' but a goat
An eff they're goin tur git the cup for
Johnny Bulls domains,
They've got-to get better boss Or push
upon the reins!
Boston Courier.