Evening journal., 1895-09-17
tbs UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE.
How voiapuk Carried MIR. spruanoe
Through Red-TIannei Busing Expedi-
tion In the Land OF the Dutch.


Through Red-FIRnnei Bus ing Expedi-
tion In the Land OF the Dutch.
Honorable William @ spruance cannot
speak either high Dutch or low Dutch.
His tongue has never mastered the
infections OF French; the liquid vowels
Of Spanish and Italian, or the gutterals
OF German. He could not pronounce
one Of the thirty-seven sylabeled
words Of Russia II he tried, and the
chin chin Of Scandinavia would no more
appeal TO his ear and understanding than
the dulcet tones Of the Orient he can
understand good New Castle county
English as spoken in this reign OF
Grover ii, but as to al other living
languages bis ear Is as useless to him
when abroad az Il is when he is listening
to good old Democratic speech when a.
home.
Because Of this declaration Of bis short
comings as linguist the reader must
not Jump at the conclusion that Mr
Sprusnce cannot make himsef under
stood when abroad He has q stock Of
gesticulations which will carry him
anywhere, even by 81 Peter at the
golden gates saint who Is attributed
with being wholly unable to appreciate
an oral plea for admission when made BY
a lawyer Bis various muscles speak
a universal language Il is not the Vola
pax Of Johan Martin Schleyer, OF \ SWiiz r.
land, or Of any OF his contemporaries,
but muscular Volspak OF Mr. sprusnce's
own invention It appeals TO the under .
standing Of anyone but blind man
During his recent tour 10 Europe Mr.
Spruance found himself 10 Flemish
town. He had caught Dutch cold and
II had settled on his kidneys Being
desirous Of swRthing his body with red
flannel he walled 70 the business end
Of the town aud entered a store ROSY
checked woman advanced and stood at
attention, with arlns presented on her
well-rounded hips
"Do you speak Englishg" asked Mr.
Sprusnoe, by way OF an opener.
"Nsin, was the reply
IL want some rcd flannel" said the
Wilmington lawyer.
"Nein, Was what he got again
By this time another womsa had
advanced TO help her sister "a her dis
tress
Finding that New Castle county Eng
lish wouldn't cut much Fl hinnel 10 that
store, the lawyer put his YclaDuk muscles
into play De twisted up bis expressive
face until It was a sunburned reproduc
tion Of oil the torments Of hell his body
became as contorted as though every
muscle had beel knotted and double
knottsd his trembling hands were
passed around his suffering waist Ia q
manner which must have made his
kidneys feel glai that they had such au
owner Then they began tesring strips
Of rcd htnnel sir and winding IL about
the body and pinning It where the endl
met When the swathing was done the
horrors Of hell we're replaced by smile
Of heavenly peace, conteutment nnt
happiness. The muscle1 Of tho body los
their riRidity. and the hands hung al
though nerves had never entered int,
their makeup.
The two women looked a. him s
though they were not sure whether b
was a DR.. JekY II and Mr.. Bydo artist on
for lark. a victim OF epileptic hts or
man ia physical torment.
All At oncs it dAWned upon one o
them, and size rushed back Of tn
counter aud threw down a bolt Of rei
| flannel Then the muscles came iut
play Rgain They smiled approval
measured the strips. took 81 the loos
change be had 10 his pocket and allowei
the buxom Hollander 70 select what sh
regarded as fair compensation for tn
material and the wear ana tear upon he
womanly terrors Then Mr. Spruauo
went back TO his hotel and sUathe
himself and Afterwards DID the town Of
the strength Of mis- Volapnk muscles