Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1895-02-07
Let Us All Laugh.

ture, indeed! Why, It's no more like
nature than | amv-TidB
She-"And what would you be now if
1t weren't for my money!" He--"A
bachelor"-Pall Mall Budget.
But what earthly use is it to dis.
cover the north pole? can't see"
ut will save future expeditions. "-Har-
per's Bazaar.
"Why so glum?" asked friend
aren't you doing roaring trader
Eyes, am" admitted the basso, "but
1t is all on otes"-Cincinnati Tribune.
Lady-"Are you full of gratitude for
that meal l gave you" Lane Walker
-"Better than that, lady. I'm full Of
your splendid Observation-Disclosures
Record.
Papa-"Where did the count say his
castle was-on the Rhine?" Agnes
Eyes; on high cliff" Papa-"Guess
it's on high bluff, rather, New York
World.
New Boarder (shiverlng)-"This stove
is too small for this room" Landlady
0iindly)-"So 1t is. an have 1t moved
into smaller room for you" New
York Weekly.
Cholly Chumplelgh-"Yes; gloves are
worn in bed at night to make the hands
soft" Miss Coldeal-"Indeed DO you
wear nightcaps, Mr., Chumplelgh?"-
New York Weekly,
"Beln' funny" said Uncle Eben, Fam
sumpln' dat er man hez ter be mighty
kyahful bout. Tain so much in know
In how ez Y is In KNOWN when, -
Washington Star,
Tie Boy-"How old are your" Miss
Antique (confusedly)-"You should not
ask lady how old she is," Little Boy
-"Oh, 'xcuse me. How young are
you"-G0od News.
Miss Passe-"Don't you consider 1t
unlucky getmarried on the thirteenth
of the month";" Miss Rose-"Not so
unlucky as not to be married at all,
dear. Boston Courier.
you'll please look over this small BILL"
Exclaimed the dun. The debtor took
1t;
And then said he, with weary smile,
I'D rather overlook It,"
Philadelphia Record.
"Why do follow the vocation Of
wandering tramp2" said the perlpatetic
scarecrow. "I'll tell We, marin. A
tramp don't have to pay no tips to
walters. Boston Transcript
~ would kiss you If l dared" he said,
"If were man." she replied, with n
determined air, ~ think l would dare
anything" Just then n cloud passed
over the moon.-New York Press.
Colonel Spouter claims that the
women supported him during his cam
paign, If the men didn't" eyes; his
wife took In washing and his mother
plain sewing. buffalo Courier.
Grimes-"I don't believe a woman
could be kept from talking during a
game Of cards, even with club"
Grumper-"Certainly not, If 1t happens
to be u whist club,"-Buffalo Courier.
Policeman to Wheelman (who Is rid
ing on the side path here, young
man, you can't ride there" Cant, Ell?
Well, you just watch me- And he shot
out of sight.--The American Wheel
man.
We see all kinds Of books
Those that are stupid and gay
But the --LATEST one we find
Is the pocketbook Of to-day.
Chicago Inter Ocean.
"Some women can't believe a word
their husbands say" she remarked,
well" con1ded the other, "I'm not
quite so badly off as that. My husband
talks in his sleep occaslonally."-Wash-
ington Star.
Nettie-"What did Mr. Knowall write
on the card he put in the basket of flow
ersY Blanche-"For the one love
best" Nettie-"The horrld creature
HAS UOuBuJ lutAh LOl hllhbNlls OhiSubu
Inter Ocean.
Fenderson-"Evldently my friends
think I'm smart, whatever you may
say 1 know that whenever | say
bright thing they remember 1t for
months" Togg-"I should think they
might. Boston Transcript.
Frlend-"Mercy! don't that drum and
whistle drive you almost crazy?" Hos
tess-"NO, l rather like the noise; you
see we are going to move into the fiat
right above the lady who gave them to
Willie. Chicago Inter Ocean.
II cannot live without you"
The love-lOrn sutton sighed;
"And could not live with YOU"
The wealthy maid replied.
New York Morning Journal.
Upton-"Don't you think that Mrs
Wabash was in rather an unseemly
hurry to marry after getting her d.
vOrceY Observation-Disclosures, no! She
waited until the decree was brought
to her by messenger boy."-Bufralo
Courier.
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