Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-09-13


A Lost Heir Discovered.
The grave and dignified members of the
legal profession appear TO derive much
amusement from the subject Of kisses.
which comes before them most frequently
IN the form of IA supcrabundant supply of
CROSSES i'm the letters Of lovers. when these
are being rcad-as they never we're intend
ed 10 be-in court i'm breach Of promise
cases. The learned gentleman who has at
the moment the business in hand of read
ing aloud one Of these wonderful produc-
tionS generally pauses when he comes 70
the first stop in the gushing effuSion,
where the cnamorcd swain has found
words too weak 10 express his sentiments.
supplying their place with string OF
symbolic OSCILLATIONS and with a well
feigncd look of innocence. says there ID
here a gap in the letter, which the defend.
ant "ha> filed in with "A lot of X =, re-
Qarding the meaning OF which some broth
er more learned In these weighty matters,
may perhaps be able 10 cnlightch him.
This some "brothrr" never fails 10 do,
saving that if hc is rightly informed-he
has, Of course. no personal knowledge Of
the matter (winks all round)-thcse mystic
/ signs signify kisses in the language Of Gu
pid. Thcrcupon this mighty time hon
orcd joke j. greeted with the usual chorus
of outlaws, and the interrupted reading
proceeds.
But kisses sometimes make their APP
! pearance in law courts in other circum-
stances though they never fail 10 he made
! the subject of numerous legal witticismS.
| The judge may have been in testing
D Il. 1
have been laying down, with all due
solemnity, some fundamental principle of
! justice and cquity-who once asked the
| plaintiff. who was suing his former sweet
heart for the return of the value Of GER
tain articles Of jcwelry which he had pre-
scented TO her in the happy days Of their
courtship, whether he had ever kissed
the young LADY, "Certainly!' was the
reply. as was 20 be expected. WhereupOn
the judge dismissed the action, declaring
! that kisses and CareSses were full legal
payment for presents given in such cir
! cumstanceS. The obvious moral may be
! laid 20 heart without much difficulty by
present giving young men.
II happened one day that pretty young
widow, travelling 10y train fom Louisville
10 Nashville. had taken her seat near "a
newly married couple. The bridegroom
left his wife for moment and when he
returned the train was passing through a
tunnel. He took advantage Of the dark
ness 20 snatch kiss from his wife "a he
suspected, but unfortunately he had made
a mistake and kissed the young widow in
stead. She was highly indignant, and re-
! fusing 20 believe that il was an accident
sued the young husband for $1,000 as
solatium 10 her wounded feelings and ruff
fed dignity.
There j. given as an example Of the le-
nlency Of New York judges the case Of a
man who was arrested for kissing another
mans wife The sentence passed upon
the culprit was that he should there and
then kiss his own wife. who was present
in the courtroom, which, Us may be sup
posed, he gladly did.
In British law courts 1t has been fire.
quently brought home TO offenders that il
! Is rather an expensive amusement 10 kiss
! "a lady against her will, but in Holland il
appears that a rather different view pre-
! walls in judicial circles. A young man
| who had assaulted young lady in this
| way on the streets Of "a village near Utrecht
was brought before the burgumaster, who
| took the matter up, demanding that the
offender should be fined "a form, or, In de-
| fault be imprisoned for "a day. But the
| Utrecht court and finally the appeal court
at Amsterdam both dismissed the case,
! the Judge declaring that TO kiss "a person
cannot be an offcnse, as it Is in the nature
of a warm mark of sympathy This is
pretty much like the Yankee judge who
| dismissed a similar offender, remarking
! that the plaintiff was so temptingly pretty
that during the trial he had TO keep him
self down in his chair with both hands, he
a II
| her himself.
A stolen kiss once brought the culprit
| into possession of "a fortune. He was IA
butcher in sydney and had taken the lib
erty Of kissing one of his customers a
pretty girl who resented the affront and
had him prosecuted for assault He was
! fined heavily 10y the local magistrates, and
the case was commented on freely 10y the
| press. The publicity thus given 20 the af
| fair happened 10 arrest the notice of firm
of solicitors in sydney, who had been ap.
| pointed trustees Of some property which
! had been left 10 the man by distant rea-
| tive 20 years before. They had failed TO
trace the heir but when his name appear
ed in the papers in connection with the
case of assault they communicated with
| him, and he was able TO establish his iden-
tity.
\ certain Senior Talca OF Valparaiso
however had very different experience
and paid heavily fer his momentary freak
of kissing lady on the plaza without her
! permission. She prosecuted him, and the
magistrate, as indignant rs the lady, SEN
fenced him 10 90 days imprisonment
This severe penalty Senior Talca considered
himself justified in appealing against, but
| the higher court SO far from bestowing
any sympathy on the offender, sentenced
him to an additional 30 days imprison-
ment. The amusing part Of the affair is
that the higher court took 200 days 10 con-
slider the appeal, and during the whole OF
that time the senior had to remain in Jail.
Even this, however, is outdone by the
series Of trihulatons undergone 10y a man
who had stolen kiss from pretty girl
To begin with, he was brought before a
magistrate and fined. Then he was horse
whipped by the girls brother and harried
into brain fever by his wife The clergy
man of the district referred to the affair in
a sermon and reviewed the case In print,
and, finally, the caterpillars ate up every
blade of the malefactor's wheat crop
IL.