The morning times., 1895-11-10
WOES OF The CONDUCTOR
Must Have an Angelic Temper
and Jobs Patience.
BOTH TRIED ONLY TOO OFTEN
One Bell Puncher "Cussed Out" by an
Irate Passenger, Into Whose Lap
Fat CoIored Woman Had Been
Thrown by the Cars Lurching-An
Experience With IA Bulldog.

bevy of bluecoated conductors on the
cable line were seated in the waiting-room
of the Seventh street power-house chatter
ing and gossiping. They were waiting for
the O'Clock change, when they would be
relieved from duty by the men who were To,
run the trains far into the night.
Finally the conversation drifted into the
subject of the unfair treatment conductors
receive at the hands OF passengers who ride
in their cars. This subject was brought up
by a bronze-faced little fellow, who re-
marked:
We conductors have TO take everything
on our shoulders now, since the company
has posted in each grip car notices which
read: Don't talk to the gripman.' Now,
if an irate passenger attempts TO lrgue, or
chew the rag with a gripman, the latter
need say nothing, but point in silence TO
the pacard. Thereupon, in nearly every
instance, the angry passenger rushes to the
rear end of the train and uncorks his
wrath in the presence and TO the annoyance
of the conductor"
WOULD HAVE PATIENCE.
IF the travelling public only knew said
another knight of the bell punch, what
we have to contend with during our days
work, / do not think the more sensible
persons would be so ready and willing to
leap on us in n cyclonic manner for every
mishap that occurs, and ON SO many occa-
sions when there is no reason whatever for
them doing So"
THE other day, when we were running
closed cars during a rain storm, an old
man flew into me with fire i'll his eyes
and wrath in his voice, for nothing else
but the careleSsness of a fat old colored
woman on my car. l stopped my train
at the wharf of the steamer Manchester
and toOk ON a seated load. We stopped
again at the ferry wharf, where the old
coIored woman boarded my car. She
weighed about 250 pounds, and, as there
were no vacant seats, she was compelled
to stand up and hold ON to a strap.
when the train struck the curve at L
street.-the only one on the Seventh street
line-it caught the old woman off her
guard Releasing her hold on the strap, she
planted one of her feet, which were as big
as hams squaTely upon the old gentleman's
favorite corn.
SAT DOWN ON HIS LAP.
At the same instant she lurched Ike a
ship in the trough OF the sea, nd descended
with the full force of ber avOirdupois
squarely into the old fellows lap. He
was reading q copy of the Morning Times.
The conclusion and shock caused him to
let out a roar worse than that uttered By
the lions when Daniel left their den.
"Then he sprang up and showing the old
llTDnpf hack
to the platform where l was standing.
lyon Internal scoundrel,' he commenc-
ed, addressing me, you blank blanketly-
blank blank What in the nkblank
do you mean by admitting such monstrosi-
ties to this car to crush and mutilate re-
.pectable citizens? Oh, my poor toe.
Blank you, shall report you a once "
II tried to explain to him, but he only
danced onelegged Jig and continued TO
paint the atmosphere blue with his pro-
family In sthe meantime the passengers
were in an uproar of laughter at the COM
ical scene. This shows what cranky indi-
viduals we have to deal with"
That's right jim chimed In another
man in blue. This town has more street
car cranks to the square yard than any two
cities under the great blue canopy. Why,
they quarrel with ME so much that l look
for 1t now as regularly as / do for my
dinner.
MAKE THE CONDUCTOR SUFFER.
1t appears to me that ON nearly every
trip l make over the road some cranky
passenger wants to throw me beneath
the car wheels on account of the doings OF
some one else. / believe a majority of
these people have rows with their wives
or mothers -in-law before leaving hons
and finding it impossible to get satisfaction
out of them they pay cents car fare
for the purpose of venting their spleen
on a conductor who, they believe, will
take It rather than run the risk of being
laid off or discharged. 1t is a rule of
the company, you know, that we must not
talk back to these people, in the manner we
would like to, let them abuse us as much
as they may. If we did there would be a
vacancy to be filled ON the following morn
ing.
''If tough should get aboard your car
and hit you in the neck" said the conductor,
with the reddish brown whiskers, you
must play the role of the peaceful Quaker
and turn the other side of your neck to be
smitteD, or else politely request him not to do
80 again.
CAN'T RETURN A BLOW.
Then If he don't give you an upper cut
and send your form sprawling from the
platform you may consider yourself in
luck conductor dare not return blow;
II he did his name would quickly be entered
Oh a police station blotter, with the words
assault and battery opposite it,"
"a toothless dog can bark and snarl at a
man when he is assailcd" nut in the fat
conductor, "but a cable co onductor cannot
even as much as bark under such circum-
stances. All he can do is to grin and
bear 1t, or else resent the insult or assault
and lose his position"
"lf that fellow who makes a practice
Of getting on cars and presenting n $50
bill to the conductor ever boards my train
III fix him." said the veteran conductor.
How" chorused half dozen of bis
hearers.
"Why, III put his twenty N my pocket
and then carry him to the end Of the
route, where l can get the bill changed at
the company's office"
us that all you fellows have got to
contend WITH" Queried long, slim, In
dividual, who had the appearance of
washington street car conductor. ''Why
you are as lucky as If you had won the
capital prize in big lottery. l have more
to put up with in one day than any ofyou,
and am getting tired oft"
DIsGUsTED WITH THE JOB.
''1f 1 ever have another such day as
had last wednesday, Will throw up my
job, put on tin bin, and go down on the
farm to pick out a living among the
chickens The first thing / did was to