St. Paul daily globe., 1895-02-08
FROM MANY SOURCES.

/
sWho is that little man over there?"
Isasked travelling man of the hotel
clerk, pointing across the corridor.
- "Oh, he's the register of deeds of
PRedwood county" was the reply. cg
7 '.What is his nationality" -
Is American"
"Ah, indeed. Up here on exhibi-
ijtion, suppose. He's the only Amer
ssican officeholder I've heard of since
I struck the state" re ae3 ''
+ A big delegation from the Second
/ ward appeared before the school
board last night and demanded a
l21school house. The demand is just.
There is nothing needed more in the
T Second ward than place where they
teach arithmetic, judging from the
returns at the last election.
Even if Tom Prendergast didn't
get the $35. 5000, he has the satisfac-
ton of knowing that the council is
decidedly Democratic on joint bal
lot, and he isn't worrying much.
''The Hanlon brothers never allow
any of their actresses to appear on
the stage in tights" said a show
man to a friend.
why, the idea," said the other.
things come out in their bare legs 2"
They took him around into the
alley and threw snow on him.
There are few more handsome
women on the American stage than
Miss Elsie Irving, the fairy queen.
Her mother was Spanish, and Miss
Irving has the jet black hair and
flashing black eyes characteristic of
the race, while her features very
nearly approach the classic Her
eyes are full of witchery, she is very
graceful and shapely, and, strange
to say, utterly devoid in the arts of
the coquette. The dudes will be
panied to hear that she is betrothed
to a wealthy young man in Detroit.
'Isaacs had the toothache the
other night" said Charlie Gordon,
| the agent who never talks, land it
was so bad that he awakened a
| doctor living on the seventh floor.
The. doctor came all the way down,
lighting the gas on each landing,
and in a little while had Isaacs
| in the chair. AS the dentist was
suddenly said:
"Ducter, no much will it be to pull
de tooth?"
j ga dollar with gas and so cents
| without" said the doctor.
\ "Ducter," said Isaacs, sliding out
| of the chair, turn out de gas, I'll
| be aroond in de day time"
q another story" continued Cor
don, breathlessly, concerns a He
| brew who had lived most of his mar
ried life in a fiat. Finally he rented
"a house and furnished it fsplendidly.
Then he gave a house warmin' and
invited all his friends There was
| one man in tn party that he was
| especially desirous of pleasin', and
| he took him all over the house from
cellar to garret. When they had
returned to the ground floor, the
host asked his friend:
Levi, vot you tink of de house?"
"It's all right, Jalley, but hoo
abote de bath, you haf no bath
room"
'Oh, veil, Levi" was the reply.
'I only rented de house for year"
Little Bill' Fielding relates a
funny incident which occurred in
Fargo on the occasion of the opening
of the new theater erected soon
| after the fire.
1.-THE theater was a handsome
one," said Fielding, "and everybody
was proud of it. The house was
crowded, and everybody had on his
or her best clothes. There were men
there in dress suits who didn't know
what a dress suit was, but they were
all happy. Well, anyway, as Gay
lor says, the piece presented was a
very pretty one, but after a while
the manager noticed that the peo-
pie in the audience were paying no
attention to the stage. They were
chattering away and using their
opera glasses to see what each other
had on. The manager was sore. He
concluded that if he turned off the
lights in the body of the house the
audience would be forced to look at
the stage. He sent his agent back
to order the lights turned off,
Turn off those lights the agent
commanded of the man in charge
of the lights.
'What for?" he asked.
''The manager says so. The peo-
pie are not paying any attention to
the show. Turn off the lights
''Not by a d-n sight" roared the
man. 81 donated these lights for
the occasion and, by gosh, I propose
that my donation will be seen as
AtANCAA SeS eNiiJ OOOS LICIll
don't get turned off,
'"'And they were not turned off,
either,' said Fielding.
And now it appears that Eddy o.
nun will not succeed in having any
Of his pyrotechnical bills passed
through the judiciary committee.
The committee has been stringing
him, and yesterday, when the mem
bers had all grown tired of laughing
at his pomposity and the absurdity
of his measures, one of them asked
him if he thought them chumps
enough to favor the passage of his
so-called corrupt practice bill. Eddy
never will realize what others think
of him until a phrenologist has ex-
planned to him the significance of the
fat spots on his Uranium. It might
help him little to buy a small hand
pump and initiate the spots.
&C