davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1895-03-16
Tragical.

The sort Of story most in favor for serial
publication in newspapers is apt to be
tragical and bloody in the extreme. 1t is
related that a contributor offered a con-
tinucd story intended for such publication
to the head of a syndicate.
rs your story sufficiently dramatic"
asked the syndicate manager. docs it
contain crimes, poisonings-is it dark
e%nough?"
Dark" exclaimed the author. "Why,
tho you begin TO read it you'll
think you're on a train and have gone
right into "a tunnel youths Compan-
ion
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1895-03-16
A Stroke of Business.

Madam said Meandering Mike, "do
re want the snow taken off yer sidewalk"
yes"
"Will yc gimme the contract"
"Of course"
"Would ye have any objection to my
applyin scientific methods to labor which
has hitherto been performed in a most ia
tiguing an imperfeck manner
What's that?"
Il mean, have yer any objection to my
utilizin the forces of nature fur the pur-
poses of practical Industry"
'N-no, l guess not"
A right, ma'am. The paper predicts
warmer weather an showers. You jes' go
right along into the house an leave me
al the thaw ter tend to the job. guar
antee ye clean sidewalks inside of 24 hours
an won't collect a cent till the works
done. detroit Free Press.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1895-03-16
Beaten All HoIler,

This here paper, " remarked Mr.. Jason,
elevating his voice above the clatter of the
supper dishes, this here paper tells of "A
tenor singer whose voice has a greater
range than any the reporter ever heard.
l bet he couldn't beat the hired man we
mad when | was a boy. I've krowed that
teller to be heard three miles when he was
calm hogs of a still evcnin. "-Indianap.
oils Journal.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1895-03-16
Not Hight.

som time ago a man went to visit a
TREND who was an inmate of a lunatic
asylum. After a prolonged chat in a hu-
morous If not very cdifying vein the Wis,
ltor thought it about time to go.
is that clock right, Jock?nh he asked Of
the inmate. Jock gazed at him for a min
ute or so in speeches. amazement. Then.
laying his hand compassionately on his
shoulder, he said:
Man, dae ye think it wild he here if it
was right?'-Household Words.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1895-03-16
Plenty of Chance at Home.

"What do you hear from Hiram?" said
Mrs. Sunup. "How's he doin at collcge?"
II amt hGird nothin direct" was the
reply, ''but it come ter me in a rounda-
bout sort O. way thet he is sowin a good
deal of wild OATS"
"What air We goin ter do?"
"Hev i'm ccmo home. Wrote i'm today
tibet eff he Was so dead sot on agriculture
he might ez well stick to the farm. DE
troit Free Press.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1895-03-16
The Hand of Time.

Mother-Why, my dear, what's the mat
ter?
Daughter (tearfully)eI-I am losing
my beauty.
:. NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..
Daughter-Oh, it's true! l went to
Bargain & Co. IS to price goods, and the
clerk who waited on me began to look
tired before I'd been there an hour. Boo,
hoo, hoo!-New York Weekly.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1895-03-16
In Any Event.

Mother-Why do you pack up your toys
so carefully, Ethel?
Ethel-To keep them for my children,
mamma
Mother-And suppose you never have
childrent
Ethel-Then they'll do for my grand
children -Boston Home journal.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1895-03-16
Not q Work of Necessity.

You mustn't black your shoes this
morning, Johnny" said Mr.. Billus.
why not?"
Because it's Sunday. You should have
attended to that matter last night. Be
Sides, added Mr.. Billus, hurriedly feeling
i'll his upper left hand vest pocket, Il
want you to run over to the drug store
and get me some cigars. Chicago Trib-
me.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1895-03-16
A Grateful Man,

"Here is a man who has a card In tho
paper thanking the doctor"
"Thanking the DOCTOR"
well, he does not say, doctor, but he
must mean him, for it reads, TO those
who so kindly assisted in our late bereave-
ment we desire to express our heartfelt
thanks. '"-Texas Siftings.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1895-03-16

Isn't it bettah, 3" said Willie Wishing
ton to his father, ito let anything alone
than to do it badly?'
1t certainly is" was the reply.
We'll, that's why l don't twy to make
my own living. "--Washingtou Star.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1895-03-16
Impressionable.

Mrs. Highfi-Oh, dear, there come the
children! must get Fido out of the room.
Visitor-Do you feel afraid to have him
with the children?
Mrs. Highfi-Mercy, yes! He's SO
bright he'd be taking up some of their
rude ways next hing .-Cbicago Inter
Ocean.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1895-03-16
Guarding Against It.

Howell. l must be off. Going to the
station to meet my wife's eldest sister.
She-But she can find her way to your
house.
He-She can. But if l meet her in pub
lie l won't have to kiss her.-Life.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1895-03-16

Angelina-My dear, how are we to hang
up our photographs if they won't let us
put tacks in the wall:
Mabel-W-ell, you know, there is al
ways chewin gum.-Yale Record.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-03-26

siam standing nOtC Just behind the
curtain, and in full gLotU of the coming
sunset. Behind me r the shadows on
the track, before me lies the dark galley
and the riUer. When I mihgLe tCtth Its
dark SCuters I WaHt to cast one LfngeT-
Gnq look upon q country whose govern
npent is Of the people, for the people,
and bg the peopLe."-L. L. Polk, july
Eth. 1890.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-03-26

papers rasp the North Carolina legisla-
ture!
Well, it didn't last long. The Mas
sachusetts legislature, then In session,
appointed a committee Of it's members
to visit the South and inspect III cot
ton mills. One of the members of that
committee was a negro named Teamoh.
They came to Raleigh, went to Atlanta
and Charlotte. Returning, they stopped
over In Richmond. The Democratic
Governor of Virginia is named O'Fer-
rail-. He is q big man in that State.
He invited the Massachusetts Legisla-
tive Committee to visit his home at a
certain hour. They went. The Mayor
of Richmond and some other worthless
YER along. They were all invited into
the Governors parlor. There he and
Mrs. OFerrau received the visitors,
including the negro Teamoh and q
Richmond negro named Smith. After
shaking hands and swapping the time
of day, the Governor invited them all
to follow him to the dining room, where
a handsome collation. was waiting.
They went and all sat down and par
took freely. So far so good. But the
newspapers will publish things. The
next day the Northern papers had an
account of it. eve suppose the South
ern papers suppressed the dispatch.)
And for several days the papers have
contained explanations from Gov.
O'FerrAll. He says he didn't know
there was a colored brother with the
committee until the carriages arrived
at his door, ETC., etc. But you will
notice that he didn't tell the colored
men to stay outside. He didn't tell
them not to enter his parlor; he didn't
say, Niger, don't you go with US to
the dining room" In fact he didn't
say a word until three days after the
occurrence.
And now the great Democratic pa
peIs of Virginia are silent regarding
the Fred Douglas incident in the North
Carolina legislature, and our own
papers are trying to spike their own
guns. The great Democratic Governor
of the aristocratic Democratic State
has outdone the North Carolina legis
lature SO far that there is absolutely
nothing more to say on the subject.
He'has introduced social equality at
one leap and-well you can't find a
man in Virginia who will admit that
he ever heard of the North Carolina
legislature or Fred Douglas.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-03-26
SHARP EDITORIAL PENCILS.

People who know a great deal often
find it very convenient to know very
little. -BrOcktOn Ne1Us.
March is a spring month, but she
seems inclined to blow about it too
much,-Chic0gO Dispatch.
When you see a counterfeit coin on
the sidewalk, always pick it up. You
are liable to arrest if you try to pass
it.-TeGas Siftings,
With reference to the demise of
Congress the people of the country
manifest more enthusiasm as pail
bearers than they do as mourners.-
Washington Star.
Sixteen United States Senators have
been laid upon the shelf, and the
greater part of them ought to be la
beled as relics of the foesliferous DC.
ried.-BaItimOre Herald.
AS in a game ov cards, so in the
game " life, we must play what is
dealt tew ue, and the glory consists,
not SO much in winning, as in playing
a poor hand well.-Josh Billings.
The New York San has discovered
that there is electricity in the type
writer. This may explain why so
many wives receive a shock on enter
ing their husbands Offices. -Chicaqo
Times.
Captain w. H. H. Gregory, always
full OF sparkling wit and humor, gets
OIL a.good n on the members of the
present legislature. He says they have
passed everything except a barroom.
-StatesUiILe Mascot.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-03-26
GOVERNOR O'FERRALL AND
TEAMOH.

On the 21st of February Frederick
Douglas died in Washington City. He
stood very high in the North and was
regarded as a veritable Moses by the
colored people everywhere. On that
day a colored member of the lower
House of the North Carolina legislature
arose and announced the death of
Douglas and asked permission to intro
duce a resolution to adjourn at 10
o'clock. This was voted down. Later
in the day the same colored member
introduced a similar resolution to lad.
journ at the regular hour of adjourn
menE out of respect to the memory of
Fred Douglas" or about in that Ian
guage. The resolution was adopted by
a vote of 81 to 20 (many of the mem
b9rs were absent on that day.) The
white members voting for the adoption
belonged to all three political parties
and claim that they voted in favor of
the resolution TO crafty the colored
members of the legislature rather than
as an endorsement of Douglas. The
time wasted was a small matter. The
sentiment was not such as we can ap-
prove. But we do not believe that anv
member voting for it endorses misce-
genation.
The penny-a liners took advantage
OF the incident to spring a sensation.
They even added the false statement
that the legislature had refused to ad-
JouTn In honor of the birthdays of
Washington and Lee. But falsehoods
always prove boomerangs, though a
lie can travel faster than truth. OF
course the little goldbug newspapers
IN the South, with q few exceptions,
took up the matter and made horrible
story out of it. The Virginia papers
were red hot. The Fl. F. VS." of Vir-
| ginia are mighty fine people. But they
do not edit newspapers, as a rule. A
large portion of the papers in that
State are always glad to get an oppor-
tunity to make fun of North Carolina
or critisize adversely, hoping to please
the better class of people there, who,
however, know that North Carolina
contains as good people as ever lived
in Virginia. But didn't the Virginia
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-03-26
ALLIANCE

The Declaration Of Purposes of the
Farmers Alliance are truly grand and
noble. lam a firm believer in them;
and under them I would like to see the
Alliance grow and prosper until there
would be a band of willing workers in
every neighborhood in this glorious
land of ours. Ever since joining the
order 1 have endeavored to forward
these principles; and if every one
who has joined us had lived up to the
declaration of purposes, what a glo-
rious organization we might have
now.
It often puzzles the officers to know
how to create and keep up an interest
in the meetings; and no doubt this is
one of the eason why the organjza-
ton has not progressed as it ought to
have done. Considerable Importance
should be given to the "lecturing" In
the subordinate Alliance; let the most
competent member be selected to fill
this office, and he or she should cudgel
their Drains 20 present. aG every meet
ing something of interest. Make use
of the question box also and then draw
out ideas from the different members,
that the Education of the Agricul
tural Classes may be advanced. CUES
sions of any sort pertaining to the wei
fare of the farmer or his family may
very properly be discus @ed so as to in
terest all. The ritual should be well
studied by the officers that it may be
thoroughly understood, and let the
rules and regulations be adhered to-
Advantage should be taken Of such
arrangements as can be Wsed. If a
library is also provided it adds to the
att~ractiveness Of the Alliance.-N Y.
Exponent.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-03-26
INMAN A

Mr.. Samuel n. Inman is one of the
largest cotton merchants and brokers
in the South. He lives ate Atlanta.
Mr.. Inman has leaned to the goldbug
side all the while, but q recent trip to
Mexico has made a bimetallist out of
him. Cotton Is selling in Mexico at
50, while it is only a little over five
cents here. He attributes the differ
in the price to the fact that silver has
not been demonetized there and the
country is prosperous. Now, will Mr..
Inman vote as he believes, or as he
don't believed 1t is useless to vote for
what you don't want in order to get
what you do want.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-03-26

The State Printing will mot down.
Mr.. Josiah Turner, of Hillsboro, was
conducting a newspaper here some
twenty odd years ago and was elected
State Printer. Some of the "bloods'
did't like him and he never received
full pay. The recent legislature ap-
pointed a committee of three printers
to investigate his claims. They have
decided that Mr.. Turner is entitled to
81, O3O so, and that sum will be paid to
him. Strange that half a dozen Demo
cratic legislatures have ignored his
just claims all these years.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-03-26
AGRICULTURAL DEPRESSION.

The last Congress appointed a special
committee to inquire into and report
the causes of the unprecedented agri
cultural depression now existing. The
committee could not agree, but the
majority submitted a report from
which we make the following extracts:
lit is unnecessary for the commit
Zee to enter into or dwell upon the
fact that agriculture is depressed in
every branch of this most important
industry, that the values of land and
farm surroundings, unless under ex-
ceptionally rare conditions, have de-
preciated steadily as the purchasing
power Of the dollar has increased.
But while the values of property
owned by the American farmers have
decreased in 80 years from nearly one
half of the total wealth in 1860 to less
than one-fourth in 1890, of which 80
per cent. Is now under mortgage, taxes
have steadily increased and debts now
require four times the labor to be paid
off than was formerly required. The
purchasing capacity of the dollar to
secure the farmers land and his pro-
duce has increased fourfold, while the
power to pay his taxes and debts have
remained at q standstill. In 1878
wheat sold for $1.55 to 50 25 a bushel
in New York. In 1894 it sold at so
cents"
Discussing the causes of the depres-
sion, the committee says: "Claes legis-
lation of the worst character encum
bers the statute books, and has been
carried on to the detriment of agricul-
tute and it's depending industries for
80 years, eliminating in the crime of
the age, the demonitization of silver in
1873.
1.-THE demonitization of silver was
a bold stroke in the interest of capital
that has reduced the value of every
product in the world. This is conclu-
sively proven by the fact that just as
silver has deprecated. in like proper
ton have all other values fallen in the
scale. Silver bullion to day has the
power to purchase as much wheat, cot
ton, pork, and corn, and land, and
every other commodity, that it ever
had, therefore, the depreciation of the
white metal simply means the depre-
citation of every article under the sun,
with one single exception, the gold of
Shylock,"
"To secure relief we suggest;
''Fmst-That silver should be remon-
etized at the ratio Of Is to 1.
"Second-That so long as the pres
ent unjust and unequal system of pro-
lection continues that agriculture
should receive just proportion, and, as
this cannot be secured by a protective
tariff, that a bounty on exported agri-
cultural staples should be allowed sim
liar to that on the fish in 1913, and for
which John @. Calhoun voted.
''Third-that gambling in futures
should be prevented by law.
"Fourth-That a national pure food
law should be enacted"
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-03-26
N. r. 2. A.
EDITORIAL NOTES.

~Gov. O'Ferran is q whole Team-oh!
Send in your funds for the shoe
factory. The county Alliances Will
want to know what progress has been
made.
The late legislature made n IN
pardonable(O blunder. 1t didn't leave
a single issue large enough for the
Democrats to get back II on.
The National Bank, of Kansas City,
Mo. failed on the 18th. About S 1,OOO,-
900 on deposit goes in smoke. Bankers
ought to do something to restore con-
6dence."
Your cousin Walter Henry is after
your uncle Matt Ransom witha sharp
stick. Mr.. Henry talks like Mr.. Ran
som has a bad memory regarding ap-
pointments, etc.
The Alliance has been of untold bene-
fit to this country, but it's work is not
half done yet. Every member ought
to make at least n convert and add
to the number of earnest workers.
Two bankers are under arrest at
B~inghamton, N. Y, charged with
burglary. Seems like every time
Cleveland and the other bankers try
to restore confidence" they make
matters worse.
Bro. J. P. Sossaman writes that he
re organized Polk Alliance, No. no
near Charlotte, last week. Nine mem
bers came in and the number will be
increased rapidly. This Alliance had
been dormant for two years.
The good people of North Carolina,
including the members of the legisla-
ture, all bow their heads and aympa-
thize deeply with the good people of
Virginia. the disgrace that Governor
efSFerran has brought upon that State.
Mr.. L. A. Thurston, Cleveland's
minister to Hawaii, has been recalled.
IT is stated that he doesn't approve of
President Cleveland's course in regard
to Hawaiian affairs and has not hest
tated to speak out in meeting. That
explains his getting into trouble.
mo good man will deny the colored
citizen a single right given him by our
Constitution. But social lines are
drawn, and when the Governor of q
State, the Mayor of a city, and other
prominent citizens, all Democrats,
r~uthlessly obliterate these social lines
It is time to call a halt,
The Arlington investigating commit
tee held another session on last Wed
nesday. Campbell had been here drunk
all the while. Phillips got drunk
as soon as he came back. Bryan, Of
Chatham, managed to get Phillips
sober and a meeting was held. Bryan
was elected Chairman and adjourned
the meeting until Mrs. Arlington gets
her specific charges in shape.
= Mr.. Campbell, the member of the
Housefrom Cherokee county, remarked
to some one the other day: 81 am go
ing to break my stick over the head Of
some of these newspaper men before
leaVe Raleigh" The trouble with
campbell is that he hasn't been sober
enougn to tell the difference between 6
newspaper man and a street car fol
Jays; hence nobody gets hurt
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-03-26
EXPENSE AND VALUE OF THE
LEGISLATURE.

The legislature of 1898 ccss $65, 976.70.
Tbe1eoislature of 1895 cost $72, FOB %,
sc 725 80 more than that Of 1893. This
excess includes about s. 100 for con-
tested election cases, while only about
5000 was expended in that way in 1898.
This leaves about So, 725 so on the
wrong side of the balance sheet against
the co-operationis's. 1t may be posi-
BILE to establish the fact that far more
work was done by the last Legislature,
requiring the aid of e~ngrossing
and enrolling clerks. If so, a part Of
the s., 725 50 car be accounted for in a
satisfactory manner. But facts are
facts
We believe that a majority of the
members were in favor of economy.
II there was any extravaganza, and it
seems quite likely, the heads of the
clerical departments and officers are to
blame. Some of the assistant clerks
came before they were actually needed
and we hear that they drew pay for
the entire session, some of them from
the day they were elected. This was
wrong, and those who are responsible
will be so held.
The question is: Was the legisla
ture worth what it COST That is the
only correct way to weigh the matter.
Some things are dear at any price. In
buying a horse it is cheaper to buy a
pretty good one at 800 than to pay
SIS for a worthless one. The legisla-
ture of 1893 was an expensive show at
a cost of $65, 900 The legislature OF
1895 was cheap at $72 600. Judging by
the work done, as compared with that
done in 1898, the last legislature would
have been cheaper ever at three times
$72, 7O2 %. However, we do not mean
that extravaganza was ~justifiable,
But after weighing the UGIue Of the
last legislature in the scales of exact
justice we find that the So. 725 80 extra
expense was a mere bagatelle when
we consider the important legislation
enacted, And yet some important
legislation was left undone.
In the matter of appropriations the
legislature was rather to liberal, we
think. But it had been charged that
it would cripple the charitable in
situations and State schools The
appropriation to the State Guard was
cut down $9O, 900, and some other re,
auctions were made. But on the other
hand, the appropriations to the char
liable institutions and schools, as a
whole, were increased. Many believe
that these appropriations were none
too large. At any rate it is gratifying
to know that the appropriations are
for worthy purposes,and that there are
no indications of favoritism or job,
berry.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-03-26
AFTER THE WAR IS OVER.

The State Guard was never more
needed. The conspirators have crippled
1T. Let the towns rally and keep it up
to the wonted efficiency. Take no step
backward. Let them also buy one each
OF the latest revolving guns that beat
the Gatlings.- Wilmington Messenger.
1t is charged that the editor of the
Messenger used the pulpit as a bomb,
proof during the civil war. If that be
true (and we have never heard it de-
nied) that gentleman has waited a long
time to get mad enough to use cannon
that are more destructive than CAT
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-03-26

4 man applied to the commits sioners
for a place in the County Home. They
agreed to take him in if he would go
without his gun. He said he wouldn't
go unless he could take this with him
and he didn't. There could be written
a great poem on this attachment to an
old gun.-ConcOrd Ve8tt6ule.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-03-26

Plant good garden seeds. Four pack
ages of the best and The PROGRESSIVE
FARMER for only 81.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-03-26

DR.. Sarah Fl. Stevenson, a Chicago
female physician, suggests that men
ought to dress like women, something
after the custom of olden times We
hope the doctor will wait until our
old clothes give out before she sends
us to the milliners.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-03-26

Send 81 for The PROGRESSIVE FARMEB
and get four packages of garden seeds
thrown in.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-12-04
ABOUT VENEZUELA.

1t beng apparent that the boundary
dispute between Great Britain and TIE
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-12-04

conviction that 81 was not compatible
with the dignity of this government
that so large a body Of our dependent
citizens should be thrown for relief up
on the charity of a neighbortng state.