The herald., 1895-12-08
SOME VERY QUEER NAMES
found by a Curious Man in Chicago's
Directory
Md Cognomens That Bear Fun ny Relation.
ships to Their Possessors-Lawyers
Head the List, Doctors Next

what is the funniest name you ever
heard Of? Was 1t Krockermus, Niggertoe
or Windmill What do you think of Up
percrust Winterpiggin or Deathdew for
the last name Of man or womanp How
about Bluebag for an appellationi And
what is your opinion of Mugboy as cog.
nomen? Shouldn't Sunnyday be a CHEEKY
sort Of fellow, and who could blame Trou.
blesoul for being of a worrying turn Of
minds
Pretty funny names these all of them
hut there are plenty just as odd in the di.
rectory and on the streets Of Chicago
Take any profession or line of trade and
follow 1t up with this idea in mind, and
quite budget of odd names can be col
lected In an hours walk about the down
town streets. Lawyers are prolific in tho
use Of peculiar names, and here are few
of them: Talker, Blower, Splitter, Naggor
and Windyman are all to be found in down
town Offices. Hardmouth, Dustdry and
6lowgoer inhabit the upper floor Of West
Side justice shop. Tho North Side is 70.
sponsible for Slanger, Swearer and Long.
tongue and a South Side suburb supports
members of the legal profession who re.
3oice In the appropriate names of Patience,
Alltime and Neverquick The South Side,
too, shelters Mr.. Killjustico and Mr.. Hang.
man.
Doctors are we'll represented in the con.
gross Of funny names, and the list might
be headed with Sawbones, Killer, Murder
er and Killim. DR.. Fierce is a near neigh
Dor of his medical brother, DR.. Gentle,
and DR.. Merryman lives not far from
either. DR.. Sadheart would hardly be a
cheerful physician, DR.. Mournful should,
according to his name, be just ns bad, and
who would want q man named Greif to
sit at ones sick bed sidep Dyer has not a
cheerful sound, and Graveyard and Green
grave might reasonably be expected to
handicap struggling physician. But the
gentlemen SO named do not seem to have
suffered from their melancholy sounding
names. DR.. Gay is said to be an unusually
solemn man, and Dr. Hothead is declared
by his friends to be the very reverse of his
name. None of the DR.. Stouts attempts to
live up to his name, all Of the Shorts are
tall, not single Giant is above medium
height, and solitary Or. Dwarf is in reality
anything but a pygmy.
Dentists come next in point Of appro-
pirate names, and perhaps DR.. Fuller de-
serves first place in their section of the
names which provoke merriment. Filler
Scraper, Filler, Polish and Makewhite are
not bad as advertisements of thor owners
business, and Teether ought to be posi-
tive help to the dentist who signs it after
bis given name. Goldplate, Rubbermouth,
Harlequin and Rooter will serve as good
Illustrations Of how funny names can be
when considered in connection with the
business Of the people who own them, and
the name of Burr will awaken painful
reoollections in the minds Of many per-
sons. Forcept is dangerously like forceps
and Pain is too suggestive to look well on
. dentists sign.
Preachers In Chicago seem to have good
names as rule, but Messrs. Blowhard,
Gossip and Cruel have departed from the
correct path in this respect, and Mr.. Free
thinker has followed them. Mr.. Dipper
\ Of course, 9 Baptist and Mr.. WaterloYp