The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1895-07-31
THE OLD PARTY GOSPEL.
HOW TO PREACH 1T

Skunk Mizzery, July 25, 1895.
To the Editor:
The other day, Republican speaker
wuz here and ez usual wuz invited to a
sect on the platform and 1 procured Nv
him a copy of the Gold Bug Skripters,
ov which the follerin is extrax:
Verify, say unto you, the farmer is
like unto the goose which lays golden
eggs, inasmuch as he acts as If he didn't
know eny more than a goose, allowin
NV us to squeeze him to maik him pro-
duce more, and then ez fast as we take
his golden ekks or silvern ez case may
be, he straitway goeth and prepareth an
other settin, and he never IL allowed to
set still under penalty of starvin.
Agen the farmer is like unto an ass OF
an OK, inasmuch as long as he hez enuf
to eet he will work contented, but when
the krops fail and there is no fodder to
chew, hiz intileck commences to move
and he kicks down the stall, in other
words he is gethered in by the Populist.
Pray to yore gods fer good krops fer then
we shell git the postoff1ses.
Again the farmer is like unto an ass
in that he shows lack Nv brains in let
tin us subdue him, leedin him by the
nose to pull the party machine; in fact
an ass would kick wuss, fer the farmer
comes ez lam to the slawter or eff he
does blat, he blats fer us.
nr;11 fn fof vIynn q
constootnel convenshun IL held we shell
hev the staff by the slak of it's pants
and down hill pull, moreover the vot-
ers will hold the staff till we git hold.
The Republican, and Dimikratek par
ties air like unto two appuls, wunce rosy
checker, healthful and good, but hev
since grone rotten and filthy to see and
smell and shood be cast on the manure
heep only fer defilin the manure. But
we are the chosen wuus to convinse pee
pie tibet they kin all hev a bite us sed ap-
pies takin Their choise, and tibet sed ap-
pies air exceedingly good. Verify, they
shud know how full their bellies hev bin
of sed apples heretofore and jist wat they
taste like, but behold Their is too classes
NV voters fools and dam fools and we
shell gether them in yet agen.
Behold, the voter is like unto too dogs
witch fought over dry bone while a lit
tie fyste Wv no beefsteak ov which they
cud hev partaken eff they he'd looked
around, but they went it blind and they
eet bones while the mOnopolist git stake
and wax pussy in belly and pocket.
The Populist vote il like unto the hairs
NV mans he'd in tibet no man numbers
them at elexyuns. They also compare
in numbers, but we pertend not to bleeve
it.
Grover Cleveland is like unto a king,
no komparison Of explanashum bein
nessessary.
l bleeve in Grover, Jonsherman and
Rothschild, father Nv the gold idee, son
NV the saim and evil spirit to kerry it
out 1 bleeve the Populist party il an
ever prezent trubble and a mocker in
time of danger and to be beeten and
Stunned ez the smallpox or the itch.
bleeve tibet Grover wuz sent into the
world to save the too old partize that he
wuz found wantin in the eyes NV the
peepul and retired fer four yeers, whence
he came with greater gall and less branes
and now doth rule at Washington when
not fishin and IL one only hope NV sal
vashun.
I merely send 700 this to show 700
wot trubble mite ensoo eff one Nv the
kommon people got holt of this book. Is