St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1895-07-29
WAS DISAPPOINTED.
Spent Four Days and $27 in New
York and Didn't See Much,
Either.

Spent Four Days and S27 in New
York and Didn't See Much,
Either.
"Mebbe you live in this town."
queried a funny-looking man whom
1 met on a Third avenue elevated
train the other day, and who was
on his way to the grand central
depot and home.
Yes, I live here replied.
81 cum down here four days ago
fur the fust time in my life" he con-
tinued. 81 expected to see great
things in New York, but I've bin
greatly disappointed. 1t amt no
SIGH town as looked fur
There are a great many sights
worth seeing"
''Mebbe so; but couldn't find 'em.
spring to see her sister, and when
she cum back home she got me all
excited about New York. She said
that every day she was here one of
these trains run off and killed at
least fifty people. Hasn't single
train run off since I've bin here.
Isn't it the season for 'em to run
off?'
You probably misunderstood your
wife. These trains never run off.
wall, mebbe 1 got mixed, but she
said thar was a big fire every fifteen
minutes, with ingines galloping
along, and everybody rushin' and
yellin'. 1 was lookin' fur fires all
the time, but didn't see one. Don't
they have 'em in summer timer"
Yes, very often, but you didn't
happen to be on hand"
And she said you couldn't go
out and walk forty rods after dark
without hearin' some one yell muir
der! and SEEM great excitement.
| I've walked miles and miles after
dark without hearin' even one yell.
! Don't you murder folks down here
in hot weather."
Some one is murdered occasion
ally, but your wife rather exag-
! gerated about it"
Eyes, 1 guess she did. She said a
| person couldn't walk mile on Broad
way without seem big buildin' fall
| down. 1 walked over ten miles on that
street and not a bui1din' fell. Is spring
the best time to see 'em tumble?'
| 'I think you misunderstood your
wife. / can't remember when build
| ing on Broadway has collapsed"
wall, thar's sunthin' wrong sum-
whar','' he said with a sigh. 1.-THE ole
woman said you could stand on any
corner and see as many as ten horses
/ and buggies runnin' away to once. I
never saw one runaway in the hull four
days. What dye think was wrong?"
81 guess she got that a. little mixed
Yes, it seems SO. She said she
couldn't sleep nights fur bilers blowin'
j up all around her. They must hev got
all through BLOWN up afore got here.
I heard a great jar one night, but they
told me 1t was a Teller fallin' out of
| bed in the next ROOM"
''Then you are going home disap-
pointed in New York;"
ST ar, sir. Yes, I've bin here four
| days and hain't seen nuthin' with see
in, and I'm goin' home disappointed
man."
you expected too much, Think
'Wall, guess I did, and I guess it
was the old woman's fault, but she'll
be wuss disappointed than I am. When
I git home 1 shall say to her: 'Saray,
| I've bin down to New York and spent
| four days and S27 and didn't see a muir
der or runaway or biler explode or any
buildin' tumble down. You ar to
| blame fur 1t, and fur the next fifty
| vars you'll war kaliker dresses and
| go b'arfut and burn taller candles to
make up fur the money I've spent!
| That's what I'll say to her, and, by
gum, if the children ar agin me about
it I'll bring the hull family down to
cornmeal and apple sass and keep 'em
thar till they can't east a shadder q
foot long,