The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-12-08
THE TELEGRAPH HABIT,
Cranks Who Use the Wires for the
Most insignificant MessaEes

CrAnhs VINO Use the Wires for the
Most insignificant Messages.
''AIl sorts of cranks in the world" SAID
the girl in the telegraph office of a
Broadway hotel to a New York World
reporter, 'but 1 think the telegraph
cranks are the queerest- Against the
rules of the office TO give away our bust
ness, you know, but a body can general
lze- DO you know there are lots of men
VINO have the telegraph habit? 1t is like
the cigarette habit When it once fas-
tens on man IT IS seldom ne ever breaks
himself OF II Till he's broke himself
That's poor pun, but it's true. If it
wasn't Tor the telegraph crank We
wouldn't begin to do the business we do.
You'd be surprised to know the moRSg
some men dlssipate in telegraphing "a
any and every excuse.
IAN sorts of state secrets go over the
wives and important affairs are trans
acted by telegraph every day, besides the
usual routine of deaths and weddings
and business orders and women starting
on journeys notifying their friends TO
meet them at the station But the regu-
lar telegraph crank comes into the hotel
and PUSHES into the office here and tele-
graphs half a dozen OF his friends: Ar
rived safely Next time, half an hour
later. he wires them TO address mall TO
him here. Shortly after that he adj
VlSeS them that he will leave New York
on Monday. After awhile he changes
his mind and wires that he Will stay IN
RES because he has not heard from
home and wires them to ask il anything
is the matter. He gets a letter by noon
and wires again to say that the letter
came safely by the next mail and he will
answer by the afternoon post Maybe you
think L exaggerate, but L don't. Why,
in a week a telegraph crank will give
me his entire pedigree and most of his
family secrets.
"a lot of men do their lovemaking by
telegraph, and a lot more do their ok-
ing with business friends in the same
way. ANY amount OF chaH goes over
the wire at regular tariff rates. Some
men haVe a fad for sending wedding
congratulations and death condolences
by telegraph to great people who proba-
bly, never heard of them. Egotism is at
the bottom of most Of this particular
kind of insanity. The man thinks it
makes him look important to rush into
a telegraph office as soon as he strikes
the town and dash off a message.
Then some men are nervous and it
somehow acts as Sealative to let off
steam on telegraph blanks. L hate a
take to get there?' How soon Will [
get an answer" And men Of business
and common sense, who ought to know
better, ask those same questions over
and over again.
THE way people write kilograms make
me smile. 1 know a millionaire who will
work for five minutes to get what he has
to say in ten words for a quarter. But
usually people write around Robin
Hoods barn when they begin a tsse-
gram, and use twice as many words9as
necessary. Women are the worst for
that, but very few men or women seem
to understand the art of brevlty.
Another funny thing is that tele-
grams, usually written in hurry and
Sometimes under stress of great excite
ment are literary curiOusItieS in ahe
line of spelling. Funeral is one of "a
words that is a stumbling block to MS
mourner. Until is another hoodoo w6prf.
You would be surprised at the orthog
raphy of the average American in a
hurry. You learn lots of things in a
telegraph office, but you have to keep
your mouth shut. OH a body can gener-
alize. ofcourse!'