The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-04-27
WHEN. MARIA Is MAYOR:

When Maria James elected to the Mayor
atty chair
There'll be many wrongs corrected that
are now apparent there.
The sidewalks will be carpeted, the streets
swept thrice day, d.
The alleys be as fragrant as fields Of new
mOwn hay.
What with parties and receptions and oc-
casionally u ball.
There will be transformation around the
City Hall. o..
And each ward in the city will be repre-
sented then
BY lovely Alderwomen and not horrid AL
dermen.
When Maria Jane is Mayor, none but la
dies will, of course,
Be appointed members of the city police
force;
And In their boomer uniforms they'll
- look 50 very sweet .N.
The gang to be arrested will consider 1t a
treat
The stores will be compelled to have q
bargain sale each day.
And for chewing gum and soda you will
not be asked to pay.
Oh, great reforms will be projected. all
the wrongs will be corrected, .~.
When Maria James elected to the Mayor
atty chair. Chicago Record.
Miss Jane L. JBrownell, the Bryn
Mawr fellow in. political economy for
1894, made an original investigation
into the growth and limitations of pop
ulations in the United States and took
her, masters degree with thesis on
''The Significance of a Decreasing Birth
Rate" 1t was published in the Annals
Of the American Academy of Political
and Social Science. and has received
wide recognition from political econo-
mists in this country and in Europe.
Herbert Spencer has added page to
the fifth edition of the principles of
Biology to welcome. Miss Brownell 8
statistics as confirmatory of some
views which he put forth many years
ago regarding the laws of multiplied
tion.
HOW TO WIN A WOMAN;
The woman is cold and hard to WOO
Who is of q nature royal;
She is distant, shy, and her friends are
few,
But to every one she's loyal.
To win her act ever q manly part,
OF meanness be guilty never.
And II ever she gives you home in her
heart
She will keep you there forever.
New York Press.
II all the clamor of the shrielling sis
terhood concerning rights and privi-
leges has no result more momentous,
says the Chicago Herald, than instilIng
into the feminine mind a belief in the
duty of taking care of the body. 1t will
not have been in vain. A social econo-
niSt makes the statement that "old"
women, of the house-mother, home
maker description. always put house
and home first and health afterward.
The new woman" according to the
same authority, knows that the
career" for which she strives is i'm
possible without good health. Since
her advent the eclair-and-tea style of
luncheon has been going out, and the
chop-and-baked-potato sort taking its
place. 80. - ~.
what on EARTH" inquiries Amber"
In the Chicago Herald, "is going to be-
come of us If this awful wave of effem-
macy which has struck the race does
not soon subside? Ear-muffs and ga
loches, heated street cars in April and
double windows up to rose time have
done their best to make molly coddles
out of men, but when we are starting
generation of boys to play marbles
with cushions to rest their hands on the
sex had better abolish hats and trou-
sers and take to hoods and shoulder
shawls. Give me a boy and not a
pocket edition of an old woman. He
need not be a tough nor a bully, nor
need he be cruel nor untender because
he is boy, but / want him jolly and
brave and up to every harmless prank
that's going. / want him to use slang
and wear muddy shoes, slam doors and
make all sorts of futile feints at keep
ing his hands clean, provided. always,
he appreciates the opportunity offered
to show the gentleman that's in him by
never appearing at table looking like
tramp. Even that is better though,
than being. a sissy Give him time
and the untidlest boy in the world will
develop into a gentleman, but eternity
itself could not evolve a man out of
the boy who plays marbles with a
cushionv'
WOMAN'S CHAMPION:
Thus spake little married man
To his ambitious spouse,
With voice and gestures which were
- meant
Her terrors to arouse
what mean these knickerbockers vile,
Theoe 'Tnannish' CATERS rollph aud