The herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1893-1900, 1895-04-15
HOW THE
FRANKS OF CHILDREN MADE
A SCANDAL

HOWg
"well, we can play that my Josephine
Maud Angelina dolly died, and that We
buried her"
THAT will be splendid. Let's have her
die at once
Immediately after the death of jose
phine Maud Angelina her grief stricken
mother said:
Now, Katie we must put Grape on the
doorknob to let folks know about ii. You
run over to our house and get the long
black veil mamma wore whom she was in
morning for grandpa
Katie went away and soon returned
with long black mourning veil. 1t was
quickly tied to Mrs. Stoner's front door
bell. Then the bereft Dorothy's grief
broke out afresh, and she walled and wept
SO vigorously that Mrs. Stoner put her
head out of an upper window and said:
"You little girls are making too much
noise down there. Mr.. Stoner's i'll, and
you disturb him. I think you'd better
run home and play now. My husband
wants to go 20 sleep"
How unfeelingl" said Dorothy, snatch
ing up the dead doll and her other
playthings, while Katie gathered together
her possessions. They departed switch
ing their skirts petulantly. They quito
lOrSOb 10 bdkc Ulo Vell OIL tH6 uOOrhnOD.
Half an hour after Maria Simmons came
down the street and suddenly stopped in
front of the Stoners house.
GOOD heavens!' she said. "If there
amt Grape on the Stoners' doorknob
Poor Sam Stoner! knew he was i'll, but
I'd no idea he was at all dangerous
must stop on my way homo and find out
about it. l."
She would have stopped then II it had
not been for her eagerness to carry tho
news to those who might not have heard
it. A little farther on she met an &C.
quaintance.
Amt heard bout the trouble up at
the Stoners, have your" sho asked.
what troubled"
Sam Stoner is dead. There's Grape on
the doorknob. was in there yesterday,
and Sam was up and round the house, but
I could see that he was good deal worse
than he or his wife had any idea of, and
amt much prised.
My goodness me! I must find time to
call there before night" fol -.
Mrs. Simmons stopped at the village
postofico, ostensibly to ask for lctter,
but really to impart her information to
Dan Wales, the talkative old postmaster.
Heard bout Sam Stoncr?" she asked.
mo. did hear he was grunting round
little, butt
:" He won't grunt no more,'' said Mrs.
Simmons solemnly. "He's dead
"How you talkr'
Its right There's Grape on the door )"
"Must have been dreadful sudden! Mrs.
Stoner was here Last evening, an sho rock
onod he'd DO out in day or two we'll as
ever"
II know. But he amt boon we'll for
long time. L could see it if others
couldn't aFN
well, WE'LL I'll go round to the house
soon as my Mattio comes homo from school
to mind the Office II. ..,
The news was spreading now, from an
other source, and in d swayithat caused
those who heard it to declare that it was
perfectly scand 'lous'' for Mrs. Stoner to
carry ON so.' y .. as...-
Job Higley, the grocer's assistant, re-
turned from leaving some things at the
house full of Indignation.
THAT Mrs. Stoner ain tho more feelin
than a lamppost, = said, Job Indignantly
to his employer. There's crapo on the
doorknob for poor Sam Stoner, an when /
left the groceries Mrs. Stoner was cooking
a joint cool as a cowcumber an singin
'Ridin ON a Load Of Hay loud MS she
could screech, an when said I was sorry
bout Sam she just laughed an said she
thought Sam was all right, an then il she
didn't go to jokin me bout Tidy Hop
kins!''
Old Mrs. Peevy come home with an
equally scandalous tale ~
II went over to the Stoners soon as
heerd bout poor SAM she said, IAN II
you'll b'lieve ME there was Mrs. Stoner
hangin out clothes in the. back yard.
went roundto where she was, ans she says,
jest as fippant as ever: Mercy! Mrs.
Peevy, where d you drop down from?' II
81 felt SO sprised an disguised that !
says, Mrs, Stoner, this is q mighty SOL
emn thing, an If she didn't just look at
me an laugh, with the Grape for poor Sam
danglin from tho front door bell knob,
an she says: i don't see nothin very sol.
emn bout washin an hangin out some
O. Sans old shirts an underwear that he'll
never wear agin. I'm goin to fork 'em
up into carpet rags if they amt too far
gone for even that.
Mrs. Stoner, says I, the neighbors
will talk dreadfully if you amt more
careful, an she got real angry an said II
the neighbors would attend to their bust
ness she'd attend to hers. 1 turned an
left without even goin into the house."
The Carbury Weekly STAR the only pa.
per in the village, came out two hours
later with this announcements:
ave stop our press to announce the I'M
expected demise of our highly respected
fellow citizen, Mr.. Samuel Stoner, this
afternoon. A more extended notice will
appear next week."
4 -
"Unexpected I should say so," said
MI Samuel Stoner in growing " rath and
amazement as he read this announce,
ment in the paper. =" "A. more extended
notice next week. I'll write that notice
myself. I'll extend it far enough to lei
that editor know what L think Of him.
mp
But how did this Grape get on the front
door," interrupted Mrs. Stoner. II found
it there when I went out to get the paper.
1t is the strangest thing, and I-theres
the minister coming in at the gate. Dc
calm down, Sam. He's coming to make
arrangements for the funeral, 1 suppose
How ridiculous!'
Mr.. Ravens, the minister was surpris-
ed when Mr.. Stoner himself opened the
door and said:
Come right in, pastor; come right in. +"
said Sam. My wife's busy, but I'll give
you the main points myself if you want