West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1895-04-11
BROTHER GARDNER.
HE LECTURES ON THE USE OF
BIG WORDS.
Several High falutin" Members OF
the Lime Kiln Club are Uncere-
monionsiy Called Down by
the Venerable Sage.

"V"S' ~ WV Slosc VI regular OuSl >
ness at the last meeting Of the Lime
kiln club, 81 hev ttter on my
mind wish TO spoke to yo' about.
| am, rs yo' know, u strong advo.
cate of eddecashun, but hev bin
panied to oesarve dat some OF yo'
hev got things mixed up. Yo'
pear to go on de idenh dat dc use
OF big words makes up fur yo'r lack
IN everything else. Fur instance,
l was in u wood yard dc odder day
when Sir Isaac Walpole came in
dar' to order 60 cents WORT ofwood.
lie dldn't see me, but when dat
woodward man meushuned sunthin
bout de great railroul strike Brud
der Walpole replied dat do articula
shun OF de mprehensiveness ex-
cceded his mos sanguine deviashun.
DE woodward man didn't suy muffin
to dat, but he did a heap of lookin'
at Sir Isaac. would now like to
ak de brudder what he meant by
dem words ?"
II meant dat it was de biggest
strike | cber heard or, replied Sir
Isaac as he arose in his place.
"An why didn't yo' say so in
plain words ~
"Duune."
"No; | reckon yo' don't, onless
1t was dat yo' wanted to show Off.
Yo' showed. Artcr yo. went away
dat woodward man said it allus
made him tired to DO bzness wild II
! Guild man wAo had swalorod "A
wheeIbarrer. Yo' paralyzed him
wild yo'r big words, bat he knowed
da, dc ramliicashun Of de com bina
shun didn't procolatc dc consan-
guinity. | sec Brudder Giveadlm
Jones OH one OF de buck benches.
happened to be in "a bakery de odder
evenin wien Brud,ler Jones walked
in arter his LOAF. De baker pre-
dlc'e dat -four must riz, an Brad.
der Jones squared off at him an re-
Piled dat. OWN TO dc coincidence Of
dc gineral corporashun Of affairs in
Eu'o opc, dar' was hardly possibil
ity OF de cxtingulshmelt OF sich IL
disfranchisement. should like to
AK Bruddci Jones what he really
meant by his lauguidge ?"
Il meant dat flour wouldn't go
up, replied Brother Jones.
"Oh, | see an l'zc glad To know
1T. De baker stood dar wild his
mouf open fur five minutes arter
yo' had gone out, an he finally
turned to me an axed if yo' had
cher bad "a roliu pin driy frew yo'r
skull. Seems to me dat il yo' had
wanted to 'spress yo' opinyun dat
-four wouldn't rIz yo' could hey did
IL IN few plain words an at de
same time preserved dat bakers
good opinyun. From dis time on
ebery time go go in dar he's gwine
to te ready to jump fer the back
door il yo' make a mosbun fer he
believes yo' to be half crszy.
notice Elder Toots ober by de stove.
When dc elder come TO me de odder
day to borry TO shillin' +. he stated bis
errand IN mighty plain English, an
not one ob dc words was ober foot
long. Dat same night jist outside
my butcher shop / diskibered the
elder argyfyin wild - strange cuPd
man who bad cum up yere from
Varginuy lookiu fur job. when
he dun axed de eide. IL he kuowed
Whar he could find work, de latter
waved his right arm and his left
arm an got right clus up to dat
pore man and replied dat dc sim
ilarity Of de bizness torpidity had
annihilated dc ponderosity Cf dc
circumspecksbuu, and bis advice
was fur DC man 10 dissipate 70 some
mo iuculcated locality. Bruddef
Toots, what was yo'r zact meaniu
on dat occashun ?"
"Reckoned he'd better 60 west,
sab" replied the elder.
dat was il eb Well, reckon
he went dar. Lestwiso soon as go
turned yo'r back he started OF on
j run in de middle Of De road, an b.
trabbled like man who wanted ia
git somewhar mighty sudden. 4
, few cayenin's since Brudder Way
down Bebee had lsctle party al
his cabin Quite number of ni
war dar wid our wives. When a