Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-01-25
A MIXED ORDER.
Tho Metaphysical Husband Tries to Carry
Out His Practical Wife's Ideas.

Tho Metaphysical Husband Tries to Carry
Out Ills Practical Wife's Ideas.
John" said the practical wife to her
metaphysical husband, 81 wish you would
90 down street and get me three yards OF
white lase and two pounds of sirloin steak"
John, who took no earthly interest in
anything less ahstruse than Rants philoso,
ply, started off on his errand, repeating his
wife's command over and over on the way,
lest he should forget it.
"Three yards of white lace and two
pounds of sirloin steak. Three yards OF
white lace and two pounds of sirloin steak"
he kept repeating over and over all the way
to the store. But before he arrived the
steak and the lace were badly mixed in his
mind. When he entered the dry goods
store, he was repeating rapidly to himself:
"Three pounds of sirloin lace and two
yards of white steak. Two yards of white
sirloin and three pounds of steak lace"
He was conscious that he was somewhat
mixed, but he knew he wanted lace of some
kind. So he marched up to the young sales
woman and boldly said:
'Iwant some lace"
Eyes, sir" she replied "What kind,
please?"
"Why, really" replied the saleswoman,
that must be new variety which we have
not yet secured. Are yoY sure that is the
name2"
NO" said John. II only know want
three pounds of lace of some sort"
But we do not sell it by the pound"
said the saleswoman, REFRESHING the giggle
that it racked her immortal soul to hold in.
well, then" said John, "Ill take three
gallons"
I'VE do not sell it by the gallon either"
she said, holding in the earthquake smoker
that was bursting within her. I'VE sell it
by the yard"
well, then, give me three yards" said
John, "but be sure it is not STALE l al
ways insist upon having fresh food upon
my table"
But lace isn't food" said the saleswom-
an.
"Isntit'" asked John innocently. "Well,
giveme three pounds-er-yards of it, what
ever it is, and let me get Off"
"But what kind do you want, sr?" asked
the saleswoman. Point lace, applique,
beaded, Brussels, Chenille, Cluny, Mechlin,
Honton, Dresden, Valenciennes, Damara~
scene, antique or Saxony?"
Il don't know" said John. II guess you
better turn them all in the can together,
stir 'em round and mix 'em up, and then
shall be sure of getting some Of the kind
my wife wanted me to get,"
The irrepressible giggle here burst forth,
and the saleswomans life was saved.
After she had recovered from her spasm
of laughter she said:
perhaps you can assist me some in Sc
Letting the lace if you will tell me for what
purpose your wife wants it,"
"Well, she isputting up canned peaches"
said John. Perhaps she wants to put the
lace in them"
Here another giggle came to the explod-
ing point, and John turned on his heel and
went out in disgust
Although he went away mad, he resolved
to finish his errand as best he could. So he
went into the butchers and said he wanted
three yards of steak, but he couldn't re-
member for .he life of him whether it was
applique, Damarascene, Valenciennes or
antique steak that he was after.
When John arrived home without either
his lace or his steak, his wife said, st is
just as expected. New York World.