St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1895-05-11
PITH AND POINT.

-llicks-"Grsy says that he ov-oo
everything to his WIFE," Wicks-'Oh.
no. thct can't be. lie owes me ten dol
lara A"-Boston Transcript
-Tom-''Didn't the encore unnerve
Miss Twitter?' Jcss-''Not bit; she's
used TO having the neighbors pound on
the door when she singS."-Judge.
-"What sort of . person is Willough-
by. anyhow?' utterly negative. He
has no mind 1t all. Why. really. that
fellow lets his wifo buy his neckties.
@larpcr's Bazaar.
-Blobbs-"Do you think the aver.
age man is as stupid before he marries
rs he is afterward?" Cynicus-''Cer-
tainly. or he wouldn't get married. -
Philadelphia Record.
Mrs Ashpen-"I found il almost
impossible this morning to get . man
TO shovel SNOW Mrs. Dustbin-"Poor
fellows! suppose they're all too busy
looking for work. ."-Roxbury Gazette.
-"Trimmins has firstrate voice. !"
said the critic At the concert" but he
always comes in behind time" "Yes,"
replied the man who lends money, II
guess it's force Of habit Trimmins'
notes are always overdue. Washing
ton Star.
-George-"My dear Miss Laura. the
highest wish l have in life is to
marry" Laura Gnterrupting him)-
"You had better speak to my mother"
George-'Oh, thanks. l never before
thought had any chance" Laura
"lknow she would like to marry again. :"
|-Fliegende Blatter.
His Idea of It-"My DEAR" re-
marked Mrs. Smuggs to her husband.
''what do you think of the anti-theater
hat bills now under consideration by
various legislatures?" "Well," he re-
piled, reflectively, II have not given
them much thought, but il they are
anything like the hat bills that como
before me. I should unhesitatingly say
that it will take immense appropria-
tions to meet them."-Detroit Free
Preaa.
"A newspaper funny man has in
vented not an absolutely fresh. but .
comparatively new joke upon q very
old subject. Miss Timid was talking
about her own nervousness. and her
various night alarms Ibid you ever
find . man under your bed, Mrs.
Bluh 2" she asked. 'Ycs," said that
worthy woman. ''The night we thought
there were burglars in the house I
found my husband there.
Companion.
History Repeating Itself in Ad-
vance.-''Hark!" exclaimed the consul
rs . tremendous shout rushed up the
street and reverberatcd through the
forum; 'what noise is that, Lucullus?
Methinks the Volscians must be COM
ing DER the wall" Nay" respondit
Lucullus, ut is only John L. Spartacus
addressing the gladiatOrs in the arena
and Offering to wager ten thousand
sersticcs against all comers." ''Sed 1t
tuum," unused the consul. softly, while
the sun. which had been going down
the Appian Way, with = low shudder
vanished from sight-Rockland Trib-
une.
MY friend" said the candidate for
sheriff Of Cheyenne, drawing . one
eyed stranger close to his means Of
livelihood. do you want to make five
dollars easy to-night?" Yep" "All
right. When I say in my speech, "Is
there q man among you who will deny
this statement" you jump to your feet
in the rear of the hall and shout, Yes.
sir. l will. You are . liar and / can
prove itv and read from this clipping.
Then I will call you down and make
you ridiculous, but you will get the v.
nevertheless. Is it \ go?" Nope"
"Why not?" II tried the same thing
in Butte City . year ago. and the can
didate jumped on me SO hard that the
audience kicked me out of the hall and
rode me out of town ON rail. didn't
get the five. either. Try it on some
one else-Ive been there. ."-BostOn
Herald.