Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-10-24
ONLY A PAIR OF FOOLS.
BY p. M'ARTHUR.

May was waiting for her affianccd
lover to call As might be expected,
she was looking her best, and her best
was very good, indeed. She was wear
ing the dress she knew he liked, and
her hair was made up as she knew he
loved to see tin soft folds on the
sides and gathered into loose knot at
the back.
Though there was much about her
petite figure and bright face that sug-
gested sauciness, it was quite evident
there was at least one person in the
world for whose sake she was willing
to subdue her teasing disposition.
Fred was really not late; but as she
happened to be ready to greet him be-
fore the appointed hour she was Just
as impatient as if it were long past. As
she could not spend all her time look
ing in the mirror over the mantel to
see if her hair was just right and all
her ribbons in place, or in admiring
her diamond engagement ring, she
finally picked up the morning paper
and began to read. After scanning
the millinery advertisements she
searched till she found the "Wit and
Wisdom" column. She then curled
herself in capacious easy chair and
prepared to pass the time as pleasantly
as possible
Now it sometimes happens that news
paper humorists are exceedingly wise
young men who frequently give utter
ance to marvellous maxims. AS May
read down the column, laughing at the
jokes and from time to time exclaim-
ing against her lovers hardness, her
eye was arrested by notable bit of
wisdom. 1t read as follows:
"No girl but fool would marry
man whom she has never seen en-
ragged" .""|' ae". 49,
How absurd, she exclaimed. what
good would it do to see him enraged?
Itwould only make him say disagree,
able things" %.
Then she unused awhile. "Well,"
she thought, perhaps it would be bet
ter to know before one is married
than after what disagreeable things q
man can say. l am not going to en-
rage Fred Tor any such foolish reason;
but, perhaps, it would be good fun to
tease him little. What can do? L
couldn't enrage him very well without
flirting, and am not going to do that.
know! He always says a girl with
beautiful hair can make herself look
more hideous by doing it up untaste-
fully than in any other way-and he
hates to see mine made up in knot
on top of my head. I'll jus. make it
up that way and see how he will act.
1t will annoy him SO that can tease
him just little and then make up
friends. He deserves little punish
ment. anyway, for it is almost five
minutes past eight o'clock"
She hurried away to her room to
make the change just as Fred rang the
doorbelL He was admitted by the
servant and was surprised not to find
May prepared to greet him, but went
| into the parlor to wait In his hand
brought in payment of a wager he had
lost. To make wagcrs with his fiancee
and lose them is the duty and delight
of every true lover While waiting ne
| united the ribbon of the box, so that
she might get at the sweets without
delay. But still she did not come.
To pass the time he was at last
forced to take up the paper May had
| left in the easy chair. Finding it
| folded SO as to show the swift and Wis
dom" column, he began to read the
paragraphs. AS became man of the
world, he shifted contemptuously at
the old jokes and smiled patronizingly
at those that were new to him. Sud-
denly he. came to a dead halt at the
companion paragraph to the one that
was inspiring Mays conduct at that
moment. 1t read:
mo man but fool would marry a
girl whom he had never seen cry"
"What ponsensep' he said,s as he
passed on to the next paragraph. But
he didn't read much before he found
himself turning back to that piece of
wisdom.
"By Jove!' he thought, 81 have
never seen May cry. Well, hope /
never shall. l wonder what is keep
ing her? Probably she is preparing
some little surprise for me-" and he
smiled to himself with that blissful
egotism peculiar to men who are en-
gagged. After awhile he reflected: IT
wonder if it would really be very hard
to make her cry? guess not. She is
such dear, tender-hearted little Great
ure it would be cruel to try. Still /
could easily explain everything away
and then we could make up friends.
She, really deserves some punishment
for keeping me waiting. believe III
pretend to be offended and make my
self disagreeable to her. Iknow that
will bring the tears to her eyes in an
instant and then I'll explain To be-
gin witls I'll pretend not to have
brought the candies" He went out in.
to the halfway to hide the box. The
first place that suggested itself was
his hat. and he dropped the box into
Its ample depth. lie had no sooner re-
turned to the parlor. than May ap-
peared Each had the same end in
view--to offend the other slightly. OF
course, neither began the plan of cam
paign until after the kiss of greeting
Then he noticed that her hair was
made up in the way he detested. There
was his excuse for being disagreeable
and 30 jumped at it.