Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-07-25
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
SAYINGS AND DO.
lNGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Joke1ets that Are Supposed1
to Have Been Recently Born-SayingsI
and Doings that Are Odd, Curious and
Lauphable-The Weeks Humor.
Let Us All Laugh.

some use jill Gu ILL Sdu Ioi UhAI
And others use a key.
Washington Star.
He-I've a good mind to kiss you.
She-You'd better mind what you're
about-Boston Transcript.
Wymble-- is the coming woman
coming to? Slyler-Anything in the
shape of a man.-Boston Courier
He-You say they were both wealthy,
and married quietly? She-Yes, you
see it was simply love affair.-New
York Recorder.
Mrs. Hushmore-You'll have to settle
up or leave. Summer Boarder-Thanks
awfully. The last place was at they
made be do both.-Life.
81 conclude that's fly" said young
trout ''You are right, my DEAR" said
it's mother, "but never jump at con-
illusions. ''-Household Words.
"You will notice that l have you ont
the string" said the boy to the kite.
eyes," answered the kite. ''And that Is
what makes me soar."-Indianap
Journal.
Nell-Why did you marry that dried
up old millionaire? wouldn't have
him with all his money. Bclle-But he
said he would die for Philadelphia
Record.
Friend--If you can't live happily WITH
your husband, why don't you get dr.
vorce from him? Unhappy Wife-1 am
afraid l couldn't get anyone else.-NeW
York Weekly.
The blossoms ill the fragrant dell,
But not alone the shades they like;
To urban paths they come as we'll,
Tor there are boomers on the bike.
Washington Star.
| The Husband Seeing his wife off,
You must promise not to ask for money
every time you write. The Wife-But
| that would necessitate my writing sd
| much oftener.-Life.
DO you consider Litter strictly hon
est?' ''Honest to a fault. Why, he
told me without my asking that he stole
| that dog he had with him last evening"
| Boston Transcript.
| Mr.. Asker-They tell me that the
bookkeeper Of your firm is behind in his
accounts; is that so? Mr.. Tasker-Far
from it; he came out ahead. It's the
company that's behind.-Pearson's
Weekly.
Clerk-Yes, sir! That's one of the
| best clocks we have in the store. 1t
goes eight days without winding. Hay
| Jc, hot
| figure she'll go when you do wind her2
-Harper's Bazaar.
Lady-It is strange that a strong man
| like you cannot get work. The Tramp
Well. you see, mum, people wants
reference from me last employer, ans
he's been dead twenty years.-Philadel~
| phia Telegraph.
''Liz," said Miss Kiljordan's youngest
brother, ''do you say woods is or
| woods are?'" ''Woods are, Of
course" she replied. "WhyY "'Cause
! Mr. Woods are down in the parlor watt
| in to see you."-Chicago Tribune.
Maud-Were you overcome by the
heat, Mabel? Mabel-No, dear; was
! Frustrated because / couldn't think of
a new combination in soda favors; 1t
| surely couldn't have been the seven
| glasses / had taken.-New York World
Dicks big man in the nation
Doin' lots an lots O. BLOWN; .
Jerry's plowin' the plantation
! Makes enough to keep Dick goin'1
Atlanta Constitution.
n
think a man ought to accumulate be-
! fore he can safely ask girl to marry
| him? kooler inspecting him)-1t dex
| ponds on the man. You will probably
! have to accumulate q million.-Chicago
| Tribune.
Blobbs--I hope we have clear weather.
| for our trip. Slobbs-Oh, we will.
| Blobbs-How do you know? Been read
| ing the weather predictions? Slobbs4
| No; but | have just bought new UNI
| brella and ckintosh.-Philadelphi
| Record.
| He-That's just like woman. She
| can't view any question impartially.
All on one side, just as she is on horse
| back. She-Yes. John, and haven't you
been on every public question the same
way you ride horseback ?--Boston
| Transcript
ssDid your boy do well in college, Mr..
| Wilkes" every. He led his class in
| Latin and Creek Good. HIS vaca-
| ton will be a pleasant one with the
consciousness of having done so Welln
| "Well, no; he has to study all summer
He was f1unked on his English. '-Hars
per's Bazar.