Morris tribune., 1895-09-04
TRouBLEtNrHE JASON FAMILY.


Ulam and Chloe Pointedly Disagree ON q
Very Essential Point.
Mrs. Chloe Jason, a "laundress and
charlady," as the sign in front of hes
residence declares, reported a few days
ago at police headquarters that her
husband Ulam Jason, had suddenly dis
appeared.
dat ornery Niger owes mem de
young uns a Twin N he's jis' gotter
wuck fer it; dat is" she added, refec-
tlvely, "ef dey hahn done kilt him, n
! specs dey is, ur he's jumpt inter de
laik.' ny ~
Acting upon advice. of the desk SER
geant the 'schar-lady'' charged her
missing spouse with non-support and
desertion, and the officers were in
structcd to find him. Before an hour
had passed diminutive, wrinkled,
black and crook-legged darby ran into
the station with terror depicted upon
his countenance. Giving the name of
Ulam Jason he begged that he be lock-
ed up at once.
When the case was called on the fol-
lowing morning Mrs. Jason, who is q
woman of vast proportions, tall, broad,
round, fat, and a most decided bru-
nette even for an African, took the
stand and tearfully recited her criti-
cism upon the conduct of Ulam.
"Dat niger, jedge," she said, as she
scowled upon the prisoner, ''ain' no
manner count. wucks day m out,
erwashin' n er scrubbin' way inter de
night, M he projics erroun', comm
home drunk cherry night"
Here tears overcame her and she
swayed her body back and forth, while
a female friend, who accompanied her,
applied soothing words to her spiritual
wounds.
''Jedge, dat CONAN mommucked me
jamby ter def interjected Ulam.
This remark stirred up the prosecut-
ting, witness, 80 that she promptly re-
sumed: & 81 q
!"Yaas, jedge, I did lam him; haster
lam him, err dar'd be'no Twin wiz him.
Lais' Chewsday night he cum home
frofn' drunk n kiss de bedpos' m call
hit Daisy. Den 1 foored him wiz de
scru' broom, arter witch I tuck him in
ter my lap m spanked him p'intedly.
ledge, wan5er you maik Ulam stop
er gittin' drunk m gimme somefn fer
ter talk keer on me n de chillun."
'Jedge," interrupted Ulam, "dat
DOMAINS de berry debbil I runt erway
m rs gwinter stay plum erway s'longs
rs live. She's a debbil, jedge, n IL
kill me shorely, eff she gifts anudder
chaince.'
The evidence, as it progressed, plain,
ly showed that Ulam failed to make
necessary provision for his household,
but as it also proved that all the
breaches of the peace originated with
the prosecutor the justice 'lectured the
prisoner and dismissed him with in
structions that he go directly home
with his wife and provide for his fam
lily as duty demanded. =" = ! = n 4
''No, sub; so sub. Go wiz dat oom-
an? Akin yer pardin', but shaint do
no such erthing. ALI I axes is dat you
keep me locked up FIN her; OATS wot
gin myself up fer"
whats that?' demanded the Judge,
angrily. "You refuse to obey my
order?" Then turning to the clerk, he
said crisply: ENTER upsfve and costs.
Next
''Look ere yere, jedge," said Ulam
''datter hahn enough.
Meek it ffteen; datter CONAN hahn
ergoin' ter furgit me in five years, dat
she amt. Jes' meek it fifteen years,
jedge, n mebbe afo' OATS done gone
she'll be daid."
When matters were explained to
Ulam he burst into bitter tears of dis
pointment-Chicag Tribune.