Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1895-03-30
NUMBER 7.
Jokes and Joke1ets that Are Supposed
to Have Been Recently Born-Sayings
and Doings that Are Odd, Curious and
LaughabIe-The Weeks Humor.
Let Us All Laugh.

MY furnace" said the man who
keeps house, sis out of sight" 80 is
mine," replied another; "out Of anthra-
cite. te.''-Washington Star.
She-"Papa is saying that you stay
too long when you call on me-" He
"AI right will not come so early after
this. his."-Indianapolis Journal.
"And, papa, what did grandfather d0
for his country?' Nothing whatevera
my son. He was a member of Con-
gress!'-Atlanta Constitution.
Beware of the vidders, SamiveI,1
said old Weller ''Werry good, old man,a
returned Samuel. ''IlI never have ona
if can help it"-Harper's Bazaar.
He-"Oh, you may talk, but you
would have been mad enough had =
married anybody else" She-"Yes;
anybody l cared anything about
Boston Transcript
Mr. Newcomb-''What is the latest at
the opera?" Miss Wagner-"For the
last three nights it has been young
Mrs. Felix in her latest Partisan gown-N
New York Ledger. :
Our statesmen now, the truth to telIs
In deeds of muscle oft excel;
While our approach to fame must be
Through long debate and repartee.
Washington Star. y
Cant you manage to get up some"
thing new to attract people hereY IT
have it. Well advertise that TrilbY
will not be among the living pictures.'%
Chicago Inter Ocean.
She-"Why, this is only thirty-twd
inches and you advertise it as yard
wide. Three feet make a yard" Gall
liant salesman-"Not such feet as yours
y.'-Boston Transcript.
Let the country still be merry !,
And raise a hopeful tune;
For freeze in February
Means a rosy peach in June! Il
Atlanta Constitution.
Traveller GnQuiring at famous castIeI
-"Can l see the antiquities to-dayPf
Servant-'I am afraid not, sir My
lady and her daughter have gone to-
town" Household Words.
'There's a good deal that is swell
about Cholly Cadkins,' said one girl.
"Yes," replied the other; ''the only
his head Washington Star.
He loves to steal an hour away
And give himself treat
On reading up on sunstrokes
And sufferings from heat
Chicago Inter Ocean.
Il saw De Castro, the magician make
$40 gold piece disappear in three
minutes" That's nothing. You
ought to see my wife with a $50 bill at
a church bazar." Atlanta Journal.
"Oh, Georgier' Laura, dearest, I'm
So ''Stop where you are, George!
I'm ever so glad to see you, of course.
but L just will not have my sleeve
rumpled!'-Los Angeles Times.
OF all sad words of wife or cook
These probably are worst, 81
To man with slender pOcket-bookI
''The water pipes have burst"
kansas City Journal
81 do not like big women" said the
needless gentleman sitting next to an
unusually tall lady at dinner, and then,
seeing his blunder, he added, "At least
when they are young. g."-Tid-Bits
81 say, Doctor, tell me what the Diff
ference between the grip and a cold
really is" DR.. Pillem lin a confiden-
tial tone)-The doctors fees. People
don't call a physician for a cold--Buf-
falo Courier.
In the spring the young mans fancy
Turns to love and tender sonnets,
But the maiden meditates on
Wrap and dress and new spring BON
nets.
Chicago Inter Ocean.
"My wife," complained Mr.. n. Peck.
In an outburst of confidence, ''keeps
me in hot water all the time" And all
the other passengers in the car looked
at him in shivering envy.-Indianap-
oils Journal.
Little sister-Any new studies this
term? Little brother-One-eloc
whats that?" Its learnin' how to
read a thing so it will sound as if YOU
was at the other end of drainDiDe.'s
Good News.
Mr.. Bjones-Don't you think Johnny
is getting too big to be a messenger
boy? Mrs. Bjones-No; I'd rather keen
him there, because there is no danger
of his getting into fast company
Philadelphia Record.
'Why does Bliggins always insist ON
his wife being present when he makes
q political speech r. "Hum--I guess it's
the only time he enjoys the satisfac-
ton of having her do the listening.n
Star.