Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1895-07-17
PITH AND POINT

A Change of Base-Passing counter
felt money.
One way to chang up a drink" is to
suspend drinking. Hello.
The mar who works himselfto death
finds that his money is onlya funeral
pile"
The ladies' tailor has a hard lot. BE
has to reform so many of his GUS
mers.-Binghamton Republic.
The professional photographer and
the amateur hold entirely different
views of the same hing.-Statesman.
Mollie-'sThat old man Hattie isgo-
ing to marry isn't worth a dollar"
Sarah-"Of course not he's only a
remnant. Detroit Free Press.
"What did We ave the coopay
widened out at the top like a funnel
for?" The misses ave got their new
cloaks. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
'1t's funny about bridal pairs.
They're not like other pears at ALL"
''Why not?" They're softest when
they're green. Retailer and Jobber.
The man who pay the printers debt
His life Is always merry,
And, dying. he is sure 10 get
A free obituary!
Atlanta Constitution.
Charles-"There's she doorbellring-
ing. l wonder who it is?" Edward
ga man. l just saw sister Nellie run
to the looking-glass Chicago Rec
ord.
"Hov is Johnny getting along with
his writing?" asked the fond parent.
Rapidly" replied the teacher. II
think he is already competent to write
his own excuses. Indianapolis Jour
nal.
Hicks-"What DO you suppose is
meant by writing for posterlty'f'
Wicks-"Sending to magazines arti-
cles which seldom appear during the
life of the writer. Boston Tran
script.
"My friend" began the solemnman
with the red nose, 1--WE are all dnst.
"Gowan!" replied the new policeman,
cor I'll soak you, an then your name
will be mud. See?"-Indianapolis
Journal.
'Did you hear about Dick propos-
ing to Mile by postal card?" "No-
the brute. How did she punish him?'
accepted him through the personal
columns of the dailies. - Detroit
Tribune.
Beak who has anose that is painful
" prominent-' am 81 blind that /
cant see any further than the end of my
nose" Fogg-"Great Scott, man
You have eyes like q telescope. Dos
ton Transcript.
'Tm agin this labor agitation, said
Meandering Mike. som l." said
Flooding Pete. Every time / run
ND agin a piece of work l git so agita-
ted | purity near have heart disease. -
American Industries.
Chow do you know, then, the young
artist has an income outside of his
profession?" asked the llndlady's
daughter. because" was the con-
fdent reply, she pays his rent regu-
larly. Washington Star.
Junior Partner - "Our traveller
ought to be discharged. He told ono
of our customers that i am an ignorant
fool" Senior Partner-'1 shall
speak to him and insist that no more
Office secrets be diyulged. -Tid-Bits.
Reggie Quarterback-'One of the
girls told me that / looked like a
human hrysanthemum. Rather clever,
eh?" Miss Figg-'1 had noticed the
chrysanthemum part of the resem-
blance myself. "-Indianapolis Journal.
''What an inconsistent creature wo-
man is, to be surel" the young man
exclaimed. whats the matter now?'
"Aiss Ritter has Just sent me a note
signed in haste and delivered by a
district messenger boy. Washington
Star.
Maude-"What do you suppose Gus
De Goodle said when ] told him j
wanted to speak TO him a moment last
nioht?" Beatrice-'1 don't know.
WHAT" Maude-" Replied that he was
all ears" Beatrice-"The donkeyl"
Buffalo Courier.
Judge Dufy-"What induced you
to commit this theft?" Prisoner
"Your Honor, I have been accus-
toned all my life to have q place
for everything and everything in its
place. / can't bear TO see anything
lying around loose. Texas Siftings.
'1Iy daughter gets s2O,O0O as a
wedding present but she has an i'm
pediment in her speech, said a wealthy
father-in-law to a would-be son-in-
law, who was poor. 81 know; but ]
do not regard that as an impediment
10 our marriage, replied the impe-
cunious one.-Texas Siftings.
The lady had given the small boy an
apple and he had said nothing in rec
ignition. ''What does a little boy say
when he gets anything?" asked the
lady insinuatingly. He hesitated a
moment. "Some little boys, he said,
"says thank you some says much
obliged, and some Just keeps thInkIn
how much better an orange is than N
annie Detroit Free Press.