Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1895-08-27
THE INVENTOR.

Tupfnorc T. not q bad sort Of follow. but
BIZ bump OF invention and tho domestic
rocentrcitics to- which u gives rise make 10
STAY Of biz house rather a trial 10 person
Of weak nerves. 4 fortnight ago ! spent
few days nt his place In Kent and am
only ius' getting over that painful expert.
enro Turmorr WIS very glad 20 src me
when arrived, conycr-cd ON current top
ies and. up 90 lunchUmc. had shown me
only ono 0f his inventions. patent foot
latch" as hr called it-anono Of bis ideas
vclo patented, by tho wny-nztd TO his
orchard gate This "lbtgt' was q dcylco
Cor opening tho gate by stopping on q sort
Of trridle leaving both hands FREE Tor car.
rying washing baskets. ITO, and The great
beauty OF 90 wa. that there was no ordinary
handle BY which horsc- or cattle could No.
cldcutally undo the fastening. Whllo We
wcro examining IL lunch was announced,
and We wont In 20 feed. Presently lup.
more asked mo 90 ring tho boil rosc
nom my 1ont NJ once
Don't pct up, " said my host, smiling.
"wc have our bell fixed to tho table fnf
convenience, and your, next to H. ~ NE
missus is away. lt's right In frunt ui
you, level with your knees
CROPPED under the thhlocloth and found
nothing. Then I put my head under,
making myself frlghtully nroplcctlo and
nj last discovered tho machine un tho op.
poslio side OF thc table. / told Tupmoro.
lilo wns very voxed and said the silly srrv.
ant must have turned tho table round
whom she swept the room. He seemed 20
distressed about it that I hastily changed
over 60 the other side Of the table and tried
60 ring the bell N wouldn't move.
"You must pull II toward YOU" or.
plAincd Tupmorr.
did ~, whoroupon tho table rocked
Violently, and my glass n olhret omnticd
itsolf upon my wnistooat
owe pulled 40 noHfly n yard, ] nid,
"but 10 doesn't Soon to mako any differ
enco."
"Ah. that's 81 You must pull and
then lot 60"
I LEI go. There was another miniature
earthquake. accompanied by an ear piUrc.
ing combination n table gong and bicycle
bell, which made my hair stand on end,
snow do you hear iti' asked tho inven.
Tor triumphAntly.
Did hear iti Good heavens My outlet
Ind cooled down 10 zero during the excite
incnt, whereas had made myself unplcas.
antly hot, and when tho servant answered
tho bsll Tupmor had quite forgotten what
he wanted.
After lunch, NJ my fricnd had letters 20
write, | strolled out into tho orchard and
took 20 winks on rustic seat. When I
opened my cyo-, bohold full sized cow
staring at mo In distinctly unpleasant
manner. ! am droadfully nervous about
cattle. having once been chased by M IN.
furlA,ed bullock, 90 | promptly reiterated.
The COW followed-sho had most h'd'
nassllko pair Of horns--and snortcd. ! ut.
tcmpted TO open tho cato; but, 20 my Ia.
tense dismay | could ind Mother handle
nor trcAdle-Tupmuro had only shown mo
tho other side of his hhuminnblo patent
when tho lunch boil rang Ny prosecutor
came closer and tossed her head, This
denomination may have been caused by
dies, but put II down 10 M temper, and
forthwith bundled awkwhrdly over tho
fence, allghtinR on my back. and jerking
all tho loose money out " my trousers
pockets. Twas still cropping for stray coins
when Tupmoro came out, and explained
that had dropped something IL didn't
like to mention the cow. Then wo walked
round tho farm. My friend dolugcd mo
with inventions, which | dutlfully nd.
mirud. some u thum were really pucrilo,
some incomprohunAbio. aud l couldn't
help thinking, whom We inspected the pig
sties, that no might well turn his Atton-
tlon 10 producing patent" porkcr that
would consume it, own evil odors.
About 4 O'Clock an unonrthly hooting
disturbed tho rural calm.
That's my siren, said Tupmorc. 81
had II fitted 10 tho kitchen boiler 10 call
me In when I'm ON tho farm. l expect IL
means afternoon tea or visitor"
The siren was not pleasing ut a distance.
A. close quarters IL was simply fondlsh.
IL performed about ten times n day during
my visit gonunlly when l was indoors,
aud has made mo partially, and, I'm
llfrnid, permanently, deaf In one ear,
Tho house brlstlod with unpleasant sur.
prifos. II l moved hn innocent looking
chair, out came a pair u slippers or book
from some hidden receptacle Ia tho scat,
and n l pulled n seeming bell handle II
gave way and down fell a Hap disclosing
a ridiculous rccoss In tho wall, Of no earth
ly use n any ono but hoptumaniao or u
magpln
When i went 10 bed, had inventive
Nightmares. In tho small hours % clock
on tho landing struck hundred or two
and was only deferred from further efforts
by Tupmorc, who afterward came IA to
apologize, Ho explained that tho clock
was a repeater connected by u wirn with
his bedroom 70 that no could make 10
strike tho hour II he woke in the dark,
which, as no owned no never did. "Thoso
beaAtly mice must have been fooling about
over tho wires. " he said. "1hey do some.
times Z"
asked him n no had over thought u
inycntinB a really efficient mousctrhp, Ot
course he hndu' Z done anything 30 sensible.
Early IN the morning | was Violently
aroused By the committeeman OF the FOL,
lowing programmes
ga m.--Siruu.
$50 Ditto; also patent pumping
operations tho pipes being conveyed
through tho wall nt tho head Of my bed.
7.-SirCu.
Machinery In motion Just below
my patent" coffee grinding, OF
some nonsense.
7'80 --Siryn
After that glt mp fully expected "a
have my shaving wntcr pumped mp to On,
dressing Table or projected through "a trap
door In the floor aud was both surprised
and relieved when u was delivered Loo tht
usual way. 10 was the looking Elass that
put tho finishing touch 20 my disrlsfr ioi
Inventions. II was at tho wrong anglo fli
my puuy stature aud refused 10 hudr,
when ! tried 90 adjust o. So proceeded
% shave standing ou my pUrfmlntrau
on some hvAstly patent catch. Tor th,
~