Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-03-15
sEMEWEEKLY BANNER, FRIDAY, MARCH is, 1895

$ policeman came up with the usual,
Now, then, what's all this aboutr
II explained the facts. The poulterer
stepped to the edge of the curb and apos-
trophized the universe generally.
q" Look at the shop, he said. It's 20
minutes to IL, and there's seven dozen
! geese hanging there that I'm willing to
! give away, and this fool asks me if want
to buy another
II perceived then that my notion had
been a foolish one, and followed the po-
! licem O advice and went away quietly,
taking ,ne bird with me-
"Thcn l said to myself: III give it
away. I'll pick out some poor deserving
| person and make them present Of the
ID thing! passed good many peO-
pie, but no. one who looked deserving
enough. 1t may have been the time, or
it may have been the neighborhood but
| those | met seemed to me to be unworthy
of the bird. offered it to man in Judd
street who, thought, appeared hungry.
| He turned out to be "a drunken rutlian. l
could not make him understand what 1
meant, and he followed me down the road
abusing me at the top of his voice, until,
turning corner without knowing it, he
plunged down Tavistock place, shouting
after the wrong man. In the Euston road
] stopped half starved child and pressed
1t upon her. She answered, Not mel and
ran away. l heard her calling shrilIy
after me, Who stole the goosef'
Il dropped it in dark part of Seymour
street. A man picked it up and brought
it after me. was unequal to any more
explanations or arguments. l gave him
twopence and plodded on with it once
more. The pubs were just closing, and l
went into one for a final drink. AS mat
ter of fact, had had enough already be-
ing, as | am, unaocustOmed to anything
moro than an occasional glass of beer.
But l felt depressed, and 1 thought it
might cheer me. think had gin, which
is a thing l loathe.
Il meant to throw it over into Oakley
square, but policeman had his eye on me
and followed me twice round the ratings.
In Golding road l sought to drop it down
an area, but was frustrated in like man
ner. The whole night police of London
seemed to have nothing else to do but pre-
vent my getting rid of the goose.
They appeared so anxious about it that
l fancied they might like to have it, l
went up to one in Camden street. called
him Bobby and asked him if he wanted
goose
"'I'll tell you what don't want he
replied severely, and that is none of your
sauce.
He was very insulting, and naturally
answered him back. What actually passed
forget, but it ended in his announcing
his intention of taking me in charge
Il slipped out of his hand and bolted
down King street. He blew his whistle
and started after me. A man sprang out
from doorway in College street and tried
to stop me- tied him up with butt in
the stomach and cut through the Crescent,
doubling back into the Camden road by
Bait street.
AT the canal bridge looked behind
me and could see no one. l dropped the
goose over the parapet and it fell with a
splash into the water.
"Heaving a sigh of relief, turned and
crossed into Randolph street, and there
constable collared me. was arguing with
him when the first fool came up breath
less. They told me l had better explain
the matter to the inspector, and l thought
SO too.
1.-THE inspector asked me why l had run
away when the constable wanted to take
lllC III tldIBt. ItpllCu UlldO IL was DC-
cause l did not desire to spend my Christ
mas holidays in the lookup which he evil
IDENTIFY regarded as a sngularly weak ar
gument. He asked me what had thrown
into the canal. 1 told him goose. He
asked me why had thrown a goose into
the canal. told him because l was sick
and tired of the animal.
"At this stage a sergeant came in to say
,l,1 f,1.
parcel. They opened it on the Inspectors
table. 1t contained dead baby.
Il pointed out to them that it wasn't
my parcel, and that it wasn't my baby,
but they hardly took the trouble to dis.
guise the fact that they did not believeme.
The inspector said it was too grave
case for bail, which, seeing that did not
know soul in London, was somewhat
immaterial l got them to send a tele-
gram to my young lady to say that l was
unavoidably detained in town and passed
as quiet and uneventful Christmas day
and boxing day as | ever wish to spend.
In the end the evidence against me was
held to be insufficient to Justify a convic-
ton, and got off on the minor charge of
drunk and disorderly. But lost my sit
iiation, and l lost my young lady, and l
don't care if l never see a goose again"
We were nearing Liverpool street. He
collected his luggage, and taking up his
hat made an attempt to put it on his head
but in consequence of the swelling caused
by the horseshoe it would not go any
where near him. and he laid it sadly back
upon the seat.
No." he said quietly. Il can't say
that 1 believe very much in luck. "-Jer-
ONE X. jerome in Chicago Tribune.