Pawtucket tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 1890-189?, 1895-08-12
SOME QUEER NAMES.
FOUND By A CURIOUS MAN IN CHI
cAoo's DIRECTORY.


Behind Them.
What is tho funniest name you ever
heard off Was u Knockcrmus, NigRertoo
or WiDdmillf Wbnt do you think of Up
percrnst Wintcrplggin or Dcathdew for
the last namo Of 10 man or womanY How
about Blucbag for an appellationf And
what IN your opinion Of Mugboy az cog
nomenp Shouldn't Sunnyday bo chccry
sort of fellow, and who could blame Trou-
blesoul for being OF a worrying turn Of
mindf
Pretty funny names these, all of them,
but there are plenty just as odd In tho di-
rectory and on the streets Of Chicago.
Take any profession or line OF traslo and
follow IL up with this idea In mind, and
quite IA budget OF odd names can DO col
lectcd In an hours walk about the down
town streets. Lawyers are prolific In the
use OF peculiar names, and hero arc few
OF them Talker, Blower, Splitter, Nagger
and Windyman are all to be found I'm down
town Offices Hardmouth, Dustdry and
Slowgoer inhabit the upper floor Of West
Side justice shop. Tho North Side is re-
sponsible for Slangcr, Swcarcr and Long
tongue, and n South Side suburb supports
members OF the legal profession who re-
joicc In the appropriate names Of Patience,
Alltimc and Neverquick. The South Side,
too shelters Mr.. Killjustice and Mr.. Hang
man.
Doctors are well represented In the con-
gress OF funny names, and tho list might
be headed with Sawbones, Killer, Murder
er and Killim. DIR. Fierce Is near neigh
Dor OF his medical brother, DIR. Gentle,
and DIR. Merryman lives not far from
either. DIR. Sadheart would hardly be
cheerful physician, DR.. Mournful should,
according to his name, be just as bad, and
who would want man named Greif to
sit at ones sick bed sidef Dyer has not q
cheerful sound, and Graveyard and Green
grave might reasonably be expected to
handicap struggling physician. But the
gentlemen so named do not seem to have
suffered from their melancholy sounding
names. DR.. Gay Is said to be an unusually
solemn man, and DR.. Hothead is declared
by his friends to be the very reverse of his
name. None of the Dr. Stouts attempts to
live up to his name, all of the Shorts are
tall, not single Giant Is above medium
height, and solitary Dr. Dwarf is In reality
anything but pygmy.
Dentists come next In point OF appro-
pirate names, and perhaps DR.. Fuller de-
serves first place in their section OF the
names which provoke merriment. Filler,
Scraper, Filler, Polish and Makewhite are
not bad as advertisements of their owners
business, and Teether ought TO be posi-
tive help to the dentist who signs it after
his given name. Goldplate, Rubbermouth,
Harlequin and Rooter will serve as good
illustrations OF how funny names can be
when consideCs In connection with the
1ttct Of ,h<.~ 4
the name of Burr will awaken painful
recollections In the minds Of many per-
sons. Forcept is dangerously like forceps,
and Pain Is too suggestive to look well on
a DENTISTS sign.
Preachers in Chicago seem to have good
names as a rule, but Messrs Blowhard,
Gossip and Cruel have departed from the
correct path in this respect, and Mr.. Free
thinker has followed them. Mr.. Dipper
is, of course, Baptist, and Mr.. Waterlove
should be temperance worker. Swing,
Blackheart Herring, Sandhater and
Smudge are all queer names for preachers
to own, but perhaps Gracebucket is the
oldest Of all. Goodvessel is evidently
relic of Puritan times, but who can ex-
plain Deathhunter and Devilsfootp All
these names are owned by men who have
once lived in Chicago If they do not now,
and all are familiar to old settlers. Mercer
should by rights rather belong to dry
goods man than pastor, and Topheavy is
hardly appropriate to the ministerial call
ing. 1t is certain that the name Of Gam
bio would go sadly against divine who
wished to preach against cards and bill
liards, but Makepeace and Goodfellow
have decidedly pleasant sound. Shep-
herdbOy does very well for q Chicago di-
vinity student, but his classmate, Mr..
Goatskin, doubtless regrets that his father
happened to possess this particular name.
Tailors seem to be especially fond of
names which arc applicable to and descrip-
tive Of their calling, and Beshears might
be taken as q good example of this kind of
name. "Cutter & Stitch" is the inscrip-
tion above the door, Of down town firm,
and Threadneedle & Wax must surely have
hailed from London. Filter Seams, Pad
ding, Sewer, Yardman and Measurer are
all to be found among the lists Of city
tailors, and Longbill is printed on the let
ter heads Of q we'll known tailor and fur
nisher.
Dressmakers are not far behind in the
race and the West Side boasts Nine.
Scissors, Mrs. Trimmer and O Miss
Chargehigh. 1t Is not known whether the
latter tries to live up TO her name or not,
but 1t is suspected that Mrs. Poormaker
would like to return to her maiden name.
Mrs. Venus regards her name as part Of
her stock in trade, and Miss Graceful looks
upon hers in the same fashion.
Book names arc very well represented in
Chicago, and any one who doubts the
reality Of Dickens characters need only
take n walk down Wabash avenue. Wild
dicomb, Boffin, Pecksniff, Snagsby and
are all to be found there, and
State street has Chevcril, Dorrit, Jatty-
coram and Jellyby. Twist and Chadband
arc just round the corner on q side street.
and tho Dolly Warden store Is known to
all old residents at least by sight.
Thackeray is represented by Pendennis
and n small army OF Newcomes, and Scott
has Waverlcy, Derwent, Quentin and
Quackenbotham to show that he is not for
Tribune.