Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-11-28
THE JOKER's BUDGET,
JEsTs AND YARNS ~ FUNNY
MEN or The PRESS.
censId snos- What She Lost--A
Charming Result : Reminded 81
Home. Eto., Etc.


conSld snos What She lest--A
Charming Result Reminded Of
Home Eto.. Etc.
WHAT SHE LOST.
She-Djd Maude lose her heart when
you proposed to her?
He--No; think she must have lost her
head; she said no.
CHARMING RESULT.
A--You had luck with your play, dear
boy; now you will be able to pay your
debts.
Bob, it's not necessary now; my cred
itors keep all my notes for the sake of my
autograph.
REMINDED OF HOME.
Cowboy Pete Glad to git home, shore.
Lariat Lew-Missed yer boss up there
in the city, ell?
You're right was awfully strong re-
minded of him one day, though"
How was that?"
''Fell down four flights of stairs in the
hotel"
HEAVILY HANDICAPPED.
Jones-Pve always been sorry for one
man who didn't have an opportunity to
see much Of the world.
Brown-Who was that
Jones Poor Atlas; he had it on his
back.
Nisitor-Well, Johnnie, suppose your
father thinks the twins are something won
derful {?
Little Johnnie-Yes, but lin confden-
tial Whisper could lick 'em both, easy:
WITH EMPHASIS.
Neighbor- BERTHE, your mother is call
ing you.
Berthe -Yes'um. know it; but fancy
she don't want me very bad.
Neighbor She has called you seven
times already.
Bertie-Ye;, know; but she hasn't
called "Alberf yet.
SERIOUSLY AFFLICTED.
Jnks- Our friend Folsom is extremely
short sighted.
Ocuist-He ought to como TO me to be
treated.
Jinks-rm afraid you can't help him.
Oculist-Wly not?
Jinks-It isn't that kind; | asked him
to lend me SO and he told me he couldn't
see it.
PROGRESS OF WISDOM.
''Bunkins, guess, is about the START
est man of his years in this community"
said the citizen who observes.
KNOWS great deal, docs hc."
'Knows a great deal? | should say so;
why, sir, that man knows almost as much
as his 10 year old daughter who is in the
high school,"
STERN PARENTAL RESOLVE.
Father" said Sammy, ''the teacher
says you ought to take me to an opticians;
he says I've got astigmatism"
SCOT what!'
''Astigmatism."
"Well, if he don't thrash that out of
You," roared Mr.. Wipedunks, II will"
APPETIzlNG.
Minnie Mr.. Yabsley says that you set
he most appetizing luncheons he ever
asted.
Alamie-Indeed?
NIinnie-Yes, indeed. He said that he
ould eat more after one of your luncheons
han he could after anyone else's.
OUTRAGEOUS.
Greatest Champion-IlI meet you any
where. lip to lip and tooth to tooth
Greater Champion accept
"And I'll bet you 100000 l knock you
OFT"
r"You brute" Are you talking of in
trducing personal violence in a modern
pre- fght?'
A NARROW ESCAPE.
Weary Watkins-Wots lie matter, pard-
ner Did she throw water in yer face?
hungry Higgins on me face;
only on me face; / had the presence of
min to shut me mouth when seen it
compg.
HIS INFIRMITY.
A ecruit, wishing to evade service, was
brought up for medical inspection, and
the dctor asked him:
Hive you any defects?"
'Ys, sir; am short sighted.
"Hov can you prove it?"
''Easly enough, doctor. Do you zee
that ma up yonier in the wall ?"
'Ycs'
''Wel dent"
TRACES OF INSANITY,
insurance Examiner-H there been
any insaity in your family?
Mrs. u Avnoo-Well my sister mar
ried n mn who hadn't n cent