The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-06-15
A FARCE BY STEVENSON.

The Chap-Book for June 1 will inter-
est all admirers of Robert Louis Stew
enson, for the reason that it contains
two-thirds of a melodramatic farce in
three acts by Stevenson and w. e. Hen
ley built around the familiar plot of
"Erminie," under the title "Macaire."
The character of the chief vagabond Is
much elaborated in this production, and
freer scope is given to his airy philo-
sophy and breezy soliloquizing For ex-
ample, at the moment of Macaire's es-
cape from prison, and before he has
crossed the frontier into safety, he
comes upon q wedding banquet scene,
In the temporary absence of the guests,
and thus apostrophizes his fellow-dis-
reputable, Bertrand:
This is a favored spot. Bertrand; ten
minutes from the frontier; ten minutes
from escape. Blessings on that frontier
line! The criminal hops across. and 10!
the reputable man. We are what
we are; and what are We? Who are We?
Who cares? Who am L? myself Waht
do we come from? an accident. What's n
mother? an old woman. A father? the
gentleman who beats her. What Is crime :?
discovery. Virtue? opportunity. Politics?
pretext. Affection? an affectation. Nor
ality? an affair of latitude. Punishment?
this side of the frontier. Reward? the
other Property? plunder. Business?
other peoples money-and the end Of life
to live till We are hanged"
At various places in the two acts be-
fore us Macaire let's fall other delica-
cies from his lips. We append some of
them. as showing the versatility of the
pen which could, in one moment. draw
the grim pictures to be found in "The
Master of Ballantrae:" in the next pre-
sent the fine, artistic descriptions and
misunderstanding in David Balfour."
and in the third instance, surpass even
the epigrammatic Oscar Wilde in the
manipulation of famously pointed re-
partee:
What is chaplain? A man they pay
to say what you don't want to hear.
What Is life? A boose and the police.
"What is obedience? Fear.
What is friendship? Convenience.
What is a policeman? Justices blind
eye.
"Modesty is for the poor; when one is
rich and nobly born. tits but clog.
What is marriage? The union of two
souls. and, what is possibly more roman
tic, the fusion of two dowr!es.
what is care? impiety. JOY? the whole
duty OF man.
Gold: What is gold? The world; the
term of ills; the empery of all; the multi
tudinous babble of the change, the sail
ing from all ports of freighted argosies;
music, Wine, palace: the doors of the
bright theater, the key Of consclences and
love-love's whistle"
There is fine scene between Macaire
and Bertrand at the beginning of Act
1I-perhaps the finest bit in the whole
effort. 1t is the night after Macaire's
successful foisting Of himself and his
companion upon the innocent host.
Macaire and Bertrand are seated each
at his table, with bottle and glass, and
Maeaire is watching the upcurlng of
the smoke from his cigarette This
dialogue then ensues:
Maca!re-Bertrand, / am content:
child might play with me. Does your pipe
draw well?
Bertrand-LilSe factory chimney. This
Is my notion of life; liquor, chair, table
to put my feet on, fine clean pipe, and no
police.
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS., YOU stt iHtsc
changing exhalations? do you see these
blue rings and spirals weaving their
dance like a round of fairies, on the foot
less air?
Bertrand-I see 'em right enough.
Macasre-Man of little visions, expound
me these meteors. What do they signify,
wooden-head? Clod, of what do they
consist?
Bertrand-Damned bad tobacco.
Macaire-I will give you little course of
science. Everything Bertrand (much as 1t
may surprise you) has three states n
vapor, liquid solid. These are fortune
in vapor; these are ideas. What are
ideas? the protopasm of wealth. To your
head--which by the way, Is n solid. Ber-
trand-what are they but foul air? To
mine, to my prehensile and constructive
intellect, see, as l grasp and work them,
to what lineament Of the future they
transform themselves; a palace, ba-
rouche, a pair of luminous footmen, plate.
wine, respect, and to be honest!
Bertrand-But what's the sense in hon.
esty?
Macaire-The sense? You see me: Mac
aire; elegant, immoral, invincible in cum
ming; well, Bertrand, much as 1t may sur
prise you. am simply damned by my dis
honesty.
Bertrand-No!
Macaire-The honest man, Bertrand,
that's Gods noblest work. He carries the
bag, my boy Would you have me define
honesty? the strategic point for theft
Bertrand, II I'd three hundred year, I'd
be honest tomorrow.
Bertrand-Ah, don't you wish you may
get it?
Macalre-Bertrand, l will bet You my
head against your own--the longest odds I
can imagine-that with honesty for my
springboard, leap through history like a
paper hoop, and come out among posterity
heroic and immortal.
Macaire endeavors without success
but with side-splitting ingenuity and
versatility to palm himself off as the
father Of Charles, a young man about
to be married, his hope being to make
off with the dowries. Finally, in his
chagrin, he renders it possible for Act
II to close with the following inimitable
scene:
Bertrand-Sold again, captain?
Macaire-Ay, they will have 1t.
Bertrand-It? What?
Macaire-The worst Bertrand. What Is
mama beast of prey. An hour ago, and
I'd have taken crust, and gone in peace
But no; they would trick and juggle curse
them; they would wriggle and cheat
Well, I accept the challenge; war to the
knife!
Bertrand-Murder?
Macaire-What is murder? A legal term
for a man dying. Call 1t Fate, and that's
philosophy; call me Providence, and you
talk religion. Die? Why, that is what
man Is made for: we are full of mortal
parts; we are all as good as dead already.
we hang so close upon the brink; touch but
a button and the strongest falls in disso-
luton. Now, see how easy; take you