Hutchinson gazette. [volume] (Hutchinson, Kan.) 1895-1902, 1895-09-26
HERE'S A CORKER.
POINTER FoRDEMoCRATIc FREE
SILVER CONVENTIONS.
Tom Watson Tells the Boys What Is
Necessary in Order to Make 1t
Grand success-HarmleSS PastIme for
on Years.

Inasmuch as there are quite a num-
Der Of cities yet left in which no dem
ocratic free-silver convention has been
held, and it being highly desirable that
everybody should know how to conduct
one of these innocent affairs, we hereby
publish a recipe which has been tried
by a number Of the best political cooks
in the country, and which may be re-
lied on to furnish you pleasant polit-
ical pudding-warrante to sit lightly
on the stomach, and guaranteed to Gre
ate no internal discomforts.
LIST. Secure lot of free passes over
the railroads, good to fetch as well as
to carry. Have these passes distributed
by some great and good newspaper
which advocates free-silVer and sup
ports the men who vote against 1t.
End. Secure the attendance Of lot
Of senatorial fossils who may be safely
relied on not to do anything rash
men whose easy movements will not
jostle the moss on their backs, and to
whom the passing of ringing resO-
lution," or two, seems the climax OF
political daring.
Harris Of Tennessee may be counted
on. He's safe. He won't do anything
rash. He will vote for a resolution
demanding" the instantaneous coinage
Of silver. VIII meet you next week
and vote for another one, il you want
1t. Will meet you next year, and vote
for another one. No matter how strong
you put your resolution you can't scare
Harris. He is warranted not to be
afraid of any resolution the English
language can hold. After voting for
the resolution, Harris will then go to
sleep.
Sd. Invite some brilliant orator who
can reasonably be expected to have in
fuence enough to carry his own vote,
and let this orator come to the conVen-
tion loaded with speech against Cleve-
land.
The bitterer this speech is, the bet
ter. It doesn't hurt Cleveland, and it
immensely relieves the free-silverites.
A speech Of this character is well-nigh
equivalent to the reopening Of the minis
TO silver.
4th. Invite Lon Livingston to attend,
so that the moral character Of the as
semblage may be at once pitched to
such high level that no carping critic
will be encouraged to make disparaging
remarks.
9Th. Read a letter from Billy Bryan
20 the effect that "There is not room
enough in this country for two repub-
lican parties" This somewhat care
worn and fatigued statement of Billy's
is an eminently true saying, and its
gloss cannot altogether be rubbed off
by the disagreeable fact that the two
republican parties are still in our midst,
and that Billy continues to belong to
one Of them.
9Th. Read letter from Hon. Rich
ard Bland stating that he has now got
to the forks of the road, and has sat
down on his coat tails leetle to the
democratic side Of the fork.
9TH. Introduce some resolutions
about the "crime of 1873" Make 'em
hot. 1t will please the boys. Intimate
that you will hurt somebody If some
thing amt done to help the country.
Bounce Carlisle. Bounce Sherman.
Bounce Rothschild. Bounce Wall street.
Invite Dan Voorhees, to help you abuse
the Shylocks. Say nothing against the
democrats who In 1898 shut the minis
to silver.
Put the world on notice that the
down-trodden people are relatives Of
yours and that you are going to make
1t personal matter If the John Sher-
man policies are not cast overheard.
But avoid all unpleasant reference to
the democrats who closed the minis in
1898. Some of them will be present,
and 1t would be bad manners to per-
senate them.
Sth. Tip a wink to the gold-bug
democrats; they will understand the
wink to mean that you are not so
madly mad as you seem to be, but that
on the contrary, there are indications
of well-defned method in your mad |
ness.
LAT n craduaIixy ooza ana - -, A. -