Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1895-11-16

ding.
NO. don't" said the man. settling back
Didn't you Just ring that electric bell?'
questioned the conductor, beginning to lose
his patience.
"Yesh, did," growled the tired passenger,
sleepily.
"Well. what in blazes do you want, any
way?" said the mad ticket puncher.
.Jesh whisky cocktail, thashall."
Ding-ding!
you may take your little saw and cut a
hole in the bottom of the woodshed door
for the hen and chickens" said T street
father to his little boy. The little fellow
had a pet hen with two chickens, and had
asked to have the shed door left open so
they could go in when they felt cold.
When the father got home yesterday even
ing he found a large hole and two small
ones in the door.
What did you cut three holes for, Sher-
MANI" he asked the little fellow.
Guess I want the chickens to go in too,
don't II" replied the youngster.
"Well. we just waxel 'em in Maryland"
said the fat pension office clerk, as he met
a friend on street the morning after the
election.
IT should remark! was his friends jubi-
liant reply.
Half an hour later the clerk met another
friend on eth street. and said:
'"They rather waxed US in Maryland yes
terday."
Yes, and about everywhere else," was
the gloomy response.
Some people carry politics in both pockets.
wonder which way that bicycle is going
to turn?" thought fat man who was get
ting along very unsteady on his feet in the
riddle of 10th street election night Guess
I'd better stand still until it passes and
he braced himself for short stop.
Don't seem to be in any hurry" he con-
tinue1 after weaving back and forth and
watching the light for several minutes.
Most danger GUS thing in the world liable
to run a man down in the dark and kill
him. Always was afraid Of those ma
Chimes" he unused. nervously. Safer to get
on the sidewalk It'll 1t gets by and he
staggered to the walk and hung to tree
box.
Five minutes more slipped along, and he
spoke to q passing boy
Sonny, whatn thunder is that fellow do
ing on that bicycle up street,"
Cant see any BICYCLE responded the
youngster. looking in the direction indi-
Gated.
Don't you see that bicycle light right
ahead. in the streetT' asked the befuddled
man.
That! Oh. that is a lantern hung on a
stick over hole In the street." said the
boy, as he went away whistlins.
"You should be careful about brushing
your clothing near the dining room. The
microbes settle everywhere-the first thing
you know you are sick, and you wonder
what makes you So" And the medical stu
dent lay back in his chair at the dinner
table last Sunday and gave a wise look at
the directory man at the other end Of the
table.
Microbes settle on food and create tox-
- H. -k,,I- rf,,o tr tho
tool with which the microbes get in their
work. and without 1t they are comparatively
harmless. Invisible, they can be traced in
every disease known to the profession.
Now, those spots on your eyes"
"Yes," interrupted the directory man. Il
was spotting business men all yesterday af-
ternoon for advertisements. And talking
of microbes being Invisible. I saw a large
It was Mike Sullivan's new overcoat-"
But the medical student had left the table
and gone upstairs in disgust.
Squeeze the toxine out OF the pie and
was the directory mans remark to the col
ored girl. as he ordered his dessert.
Young man, will you pick out that car
ticket in there?' said an old lady. as she
took her seat in q Georgetown car last
right and handed her open pocket book to
q young fellow seated near her. II dropped
my SIe ctacleS on Ine naVem onC ana broke
them. so I can't see thing"
The young man locked through the pocket
book, but failed to find the car ticket.
II can't see any car ticket" he said, as
he handed 1t back.
"Why. that's very strange" and she
gave him a look Of suspicion, and began
to appear worried. Il am certain 1 put a
car ticket In there not ten minutes ago.
Won't you look again.
fallDpy rarpfulIy
various compartments a second time, find
ing several samples of cloth and some visit
ing cards. but no ticket.
"None In there Tow, sure" he said.
"Strangest thing I ever heard Of" ex-
claimed the old lady. Just then the con-
ductor came along.
Guess I'll have to ask you to trust me
for this ride" she said with a nervous,
worried smile, as he stood before her.
Passengers are lot required to pay more
than one fare" responded the polite off,
clal. You handed me your ticket as you
stepped on the platform"
'Oh" and sigh Of relief came from the
hearts of nineteen different passengers.
A. NJ. Cleland of Dayton. Ohio. tells a
good story of a gambler from that city
who has made a large fortune out Of
saloon and faro room. Last winter he was
in Flc rida with some friends, and visited
church, where few poor colored people
ard the pastor prayed most fervently that
the Lord would provide way to repair the
roof. Then collection was started, the
pastor saying that special blessings would
be asked for all contributors. One good
brother put in dime.
"A dime from Brudder Jones. De Lord
Dress Brudder Jones'"
Then quarter was received.
"Brudder johnson a quatah. De Lo'd
bIess Brudder Johnson
The collector reached the gambler, who
had made a big winning the night before
ard, flashing his roll, put $50 bill in the
hat.
The almost breathless collector said:
"Wha's de rame sah?"
''Never mind the name. I am gambler
from Ohio"
''Gamblah from Ohio, twenty dollars"
shouted tho collector.
The pastor rolled his eyes up, and rails
Ing his hands, said, in a voice choking with
emotion:
Twenty dolars-gamblah from Ohio
May de good Lo'd Dress and prospah de
noble gamblah from Ohio" The gambler
says he has prcspered ever since.
An old man entered a leading hardware
store in Washington yesterday and bought
some blasting powder. His white hair hung
low upon his shoulders, his beard dropped
far down his 10