Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-08-26
JUST FOR FUN.

the shape of man.
els your daddy doin' much fishin'
these days?'' 'sNo; he's paralyzed an
he can't lie like he used to-"
She-Yes, I am very fond of pets.
He-Indeedl What, may ask, is your
favorite animal? She (frankly)-Man.
ct would send you kiss, papa,"
wrote little Lucy, who was away on
visit, "but 1 have been eating on
| ions.n
"Woof, are we wich?" asked Char
lie. "No," answered Ruth, mot rich"
care we poor, ven?" "No, just mid
die Sized"
| Little Tommy-Mamma, papa has
been drinking. Mother-Why do you
shink so? Tommy-He said that you
were an angel.
Groom-I guess that man we just
passed is married. Bride = Why do
you think so? Groom He merely
glanced at you.
Papa, said little Willie, isn't cynic
a man who is tired of the world? No,
my dear, a cynic is man of whom
the world is tired.
els Bunkins as good as his word?"
asked one business man. 81 guess he
is, replied the other. ellis word isn't
good for anything"
Gin my business, lady, it is impos-
sible to get days work" "You
don't say! what's your business?" II
am night Waterman"
Said a little boy who, during visit
to Florida was obliged to drink con-
densed milk: s'Mamma, I just wish
that condensed COW would die.''
She-Don't you think my new hat
is as pretty as a picture? He-Oh, no;
the hat is pretty frame for the more
beautiful picture that goes with it.
Friend-Don't you belong to any
club? Business Man-No; can't af-
ford it. Takes all I can spare to pay
dues at the clubs my wife belongs to.
A little Philadelphia girl, while
watching the rain, turned to her
mother, and said, "Ma, I guess the
weather is SO warm it is melting the
clouds.''
Clara Winterbloom- There is only
enough to half fill this trunk. What
shall 7 do; fill it with papers? Mrs.
Winterbloom- No. Let your father
pack it.
''That girl can't talk little bit.''
'tIs that so?'' "Sure. The only thing
she said to me the whole evening was
No. and had to propose to her to
get her to say that.'''
Little Girl oh, mamma, come
quick Mamma-Mercy! What is the
matter? Little Girl-There's a mouse
in the kitchen and the poor cat is
there all alone.
Lady Cycler-George, how do I look
in my new boomers? George very
promptly -Hideous. The Lady Cy-
cler with joy) : George, dear, how
good of you to say so!
De Sappy-I don't understand why
some people require so much sleep.
can get along with four hours. Miss
Redbud- The body doesn't require
so much rest as the brain.
"When we got to the house," said
the fireman, tive found the piano
ablaze." ''Did you turn the hose on
it?" calais, no! You see had never
learned to play on the piano"
Doctor-The bicycle gives people
tient-But I can't afford to ride BIZ
cycle. Doctor oh, you don't need
to ride one; just dodge them.
An exchange calls attention, apro-
pos of the pompadour sleeve, to Eze-
kiel, chapter xiii. verses II, IS, where
a woe is pronounced upon the women
''that sew pillows to all armholes."
"Uncle," said Harry, "please buy
me goat" Harry" said his uncle,
ct can't afford it.' "But, uncle," ar
gued the youngster, "the more little
goat you buy, the more money it
won't COST
'Liz," said Miss Kiljordan's young
est brother, "do you say woods is or
woods are?' y 'sWoods are, of COURSE"
she answered. "Why?'' "'Cause Mr..
Woods are down in the parlor waitin'
to see you"
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