Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1895-08-21
PTTH AND POINT.

w lbS CONtls- uNh-
Poverty may blunt the other scenes,
but it is famousfo Tor sharpening hunger.
After they reach forty, few people
laugh as if they felt like it.-Atchison
Globe.
This is a world in which the roll OF,
honor is too often the simple dry
bread, without any butter. Puck.
A shrewd hardware dealer is adver-
Using ladies' skates that require twenty
minutes to put n .--Courier-Journa
Harmony is all right in its place,
but the barber and his razor should
never undertake to pull together
Buffalo Courier.
Conversation between two thieves:
81 say, what price did you pay for
that watch?" six months hard -
lie Masque de Fer.
Miss Gushly-"Do you believe love
is blind?" Mr.. Hard Head-"When
l see some of his work I'm positive
he is."-New York Press.
Jack-"What did hat horse Gosh
you?" Tom-''It cost me all the re-
spect l ever entertained for the man 1
bought it from. "--Tit-Bits.
Snap-'Di2 you ever notice the ex>
preston on the face of the Venus de
Milo?" Snip-''Oh, yes; she looks
all broke up."-Inter Ocean.
"What will drive a man TO drink
quicker than a sharp tongued woman
ibid you ever try q broiled Sal
mackerel?"-New York Press.
Doctor-"By my treatment I have
given you a new lease of life" Patient
Yes; but you'll admit that You
charge high rent. Chicago Record.
when I first came here" said the
editor, 81 had only one shirt to my
name" "And what have you now?"
''The name l"-Atlanta Constitution
marvel not the wealthy lass
Should hope your heart 10 win
II always takes the man Of brass
To catch the girl OF tin.
Hartford Journal.
"CanI leave a little poem with your"
asked the young author. "You can"
replied the editor, 'all poems get left
in this vicinity. Atlantis Constitu-
ton.
Cholly - "Ny NV anthethtaws
came ovah in the Mayfawr." Jack
Begingsir looking him over)-"Great
Caesar! And for this New York
Press.
Watts-"Doctor, what do you think
of the water cure for fits?" Doctor
Bowless-'It might work all right on
ready-made clothes. - Indianapolis
Journal.
Judge-'You are fined S10 for con-
tempt of court" Offender-"I say
Judge seeing as the sentiment is mutua
why not call it a draw?"-Bosto,
Transcript.
'1mpulsive people" declares a lee
turer on physiognomy, ''have blacE
eyes,, or ifthey don't have them they'I
apt to get them, if they're too impul-
sive. "-Tid-Bits.
Tutter-'1s Miss Nubbins in -" Ser
vant-'No, sir. She's gone out walk
ing with another young man." Tutter
-"All right. Tell her 1 came in a
sleigh. New York Herald.
Chats right, my little mani /
knew those pills of mine would pull
You round. What did you put 'em in
water, or raspberry jam, eh2" "Put
'em in my pea shooter Judy.
Magistrate-'If you were there for
no dishonest purpose, why were you
in your stockinged feet?" Burglar
81 heard there was sickness in the
family, Your Honor. "-Tit-Bits.
"Say, Jimmy. what's a millionaire?
Do you know?" eyes, it's a man that
takes his little boy to all the shows,
an buys him candy 'thout tellin' him
it'll made him SICK. Chicago Inter
Ocean.
The Detected One-"Jack, ] don't
know what to do. Here are a lot ..
bills, and / haven't got a cent. Can't
you suggest some way 10 raise the
wind?" Jack-''How would a draft
do ?"-Princeton Tiger.
"And so, Peter, you spell women
with an 'a?'" said the teacher, correct
ing an exercise. please, sir" was
the reply, my papa told mamma only
yesterday that women were singular
beings. Music and Drama.
excuse me, Herr Strohmaier, how
is it you always wind up your watch
Immediately after dinner?" 'For the
benefit of my health. Ny doctor has
recommended me always 10 take 3
little exercise after dinner. File
gende Blaetter.
81 always suspected that cashier"
said q member Of the Board Of Direc-
tors. "Maybe he'll turn up" said
another. lyon can't always Judge a
man by his appearance?' "No. But
in a case like this it is pretty safe to
Judge him by his disappearance -
Washington Star.
A mendicant approached a benevo-
lent-looking old gentleman the other
day and said Dear sir, / have lost
my Leg" to which the benevolent.
looking gentleman replied as he hur-
ried away: NY dear friend, am very
sorry, but l have not seen anything
of it. "-Tit-Bits.
Edith, ] saw that policeman speak
to YOU. That's the third policeman
I've seen speaking to you this morn
ing. Ican't allow that" mo, nam.
But the policemen always do admire
baby so they can't elp stopping and
askin' about i'm. They all say is they
never see such q fine child. "-Spare
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