The herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1893-1900, 1895-04-17
HOFFMAN'S FATE SETTLED
he Would Wooing Go, Right and
Left
Placed Between a Matrimonial Moose and a
Vista of Worse Discomfort,
He Marries

Fred Hoffman is one OF that despicable
class of men whom the novelists call Gay
Lotharios and common every day vile de
ceivers. This beefy Don Juan, who is q
butcher by trade, employed, it would
seem, all the time that he could con
veniently spare from the cutting up OF
chops and the chopping up of necks for
sausage meat. III making the unsophist-
Gated single Gretchens of his own father
land believe that he was consumed with a
love of Al burning qualities for them.
The girls were not adamant against his
'Acn lch liebe dch so treu, sung to
them in a butchers basso profundo.
tremolo, reminiscent of a playful thun-
derstorm on Mount Lowe. And the con
sequences of his wilcs caused Anna CABIN
and Louisa Schwitzer TO curse the day
that Hoffman had sold them Wiener
! SchntZels for the first time. 1t is all very
fine to narken t. the establishments of Il
harmonious butcher, and even IL sing
duets with him, but it is a very different
proposition when the duet degenerates
INTO a trio, and the falsetto that is
added to the concert is the weak, wailing
voice of fatherless baby.
=. That was the exact condition of affairs
between Fred Hoffman and the two
Gretchens, who didn't know each other
from Eve, when the blizzard came along
that was to dispel all dreams OF love and
quietude. to be replaced by the furies of
hate ana jealousy. There may have been
other young women from Bavaria or the
Rhine who have been deceived by Hoff
man, but of these the court speaketh not,
at least mt present. But if there are other
countries to be heard from, vel and
good; Hoifman's back is broad, and he
will have to take his cough mixture.
Anna Calm threw down the gauntlet
before the deceitful Fred some time ago
when she went to visit III distri attor-
ney. She told plain story of man 5 de-
celt of woman at the time, and Mr.. Hoff-
man was transferred with neatness and
dispatch from his butchers block 10 the
township justices court, where he was
required to give bail to ensure his APP
pearance when he was to be examined on
the charge OF having ruined the guilelcss
Anna under cast iron promise of mar
rage.
1t is more than likely that Miss Calm
succumbed thereafter to the supplcations
of Hoffman and his friends, and CON
cluded that she would not have the
recreant butcher spend some of the years
OF his youth in the penltentiary cutting
up leathery beef for the criminal aggrega-
ton of convicts because she failed to
show up yesterday when Justice Young
called the case. 1t was then dism .Ssed
within a reasona bic time. for lack OF pros
ecution
But the tates were decidedly against
the buScher, and matrimony, call it Calm
or call it Schwitzer, was on his trail with
the pent-up energy OF desperation. If the
county Jail be the frying pan and mar
riage the fire, then Hoffman fell into the
latter as awkwardly as he had escaped the
former adroitly. During the time that
the justice and the district attorney, the
constable and his minions, were anxious
ly awaiting Anna, in order to shut up
shop quickly and go to the procession,
another damsel, with wicked fire in her
eye. paced up and down the corridor, like
a lioness in cage.
This was Miss Louisa Schwitzer. the
second known victim of the butcher :
serpent tongue. Whether she was pre-
pa. ed to swear out a complaint or condole
with Hoffman if his fate were to lead
him to a dungeon cell she did not dis
close
= But when he had been discharged from
custody there was held between them a
conversation in that lovely language
| which Charles the Fifth said was so emf
nently appreciated by horses. 1t began
in the court room, lasted all the way
down the elevator, continued in the mar
riage bureau presided over by Cupid
kutz, and is probably not ended yet, now
that Miss SchwitZer is Mrs. Hoffman.
But the butcher had to do it.and he did
it like little man. He dug two big dol
lars cut of his leather purse and in re-
turn obtained a license by which the
nearest clergyman was empowered to
| marry him and the lady who could not
be denied