Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-06-27
CUPID HAS AN ENEMY
PERSISTENT SOLICITORS WHO DETER
WOULD BE BENEolcTS.

4 Raising Warning From Life Insuran
4 Man.
When the young man walked into Il
newspaper office and timidly asked Il
so. 'iety editor if she would kindly inse
A no, ice of his approaching marriage,
little thought of the trouble he W.
triuging Iown upon his head
The annot.n cement was printed Sun
day. When h., reached his Office MOI
day, he found sack Of letters waitin
for him, every one addressed in hant
writing Ire did not know. He whistle
when he opened the first, ditto the sec
ond, looked a bit surprised at the con
tents of the third and swore fuentl
through the balance Of the pile. At moo
there were more At night there wer
others.
Despite the evident curiosity of hi
fellow laborers in the Office he did no
take soul into his confidence until tht
third day. Then he remarked to hi
| deslmates
Say, the great American life insur
ance man isn't overlooking any bets
! these days, is he?"
Wherefore this outburst?"
For answer the groom to- be went to a
drawer and produced stack containing
147 letters-he said that was Che exact
number, though his friend did not count
them-the accumulation since that fate
full Sunday morning.
EVERY blamed one of them rs from
some agent for some life insurance com
pany who wants to insure my life. Each
one represents the best company On the
face Of the earth. Each pays the largest
dividends Each invests the money Of
It's patrons to the very best advantages.
Each moralizes on the uncertainty Of
life and seeks to impress upon me the
solemn duty owe TO my wife that is TO
be to get my life insured for million
or two Of dollars. And each blessed one
hns come since the announcement Of my
approaching wedding was printed. "
The young man paused ? moment,
then he dug into the pile and after a
few moments search produced a'docu
ment which he showed at his friend,
simply saying:
'@:Eust look at the Gevilish ingenuity
displayed in the construction of that
thing"
The ching" was about the size of a
theatrical poster known as three sheet,
in other words, three Of them will paper
the, side of barn. DOVE the center, at
regular intervals, We're lot of notices
and warning exhortation printed in type
three times the size Of the context, and
in red ink. Here is one choice extract
from, the document: Elm the midst Of
lie we are in death. F"
"Let US CALI your attention that it is
every husbands duty-his solemn duty
to provide for those dependent upon
him. No one knoweth when the angel
OF death may knock at the door Of howell
on mansion and; how cancns be prepared
for his coming. unless time is taken by
the financial forelock2 Think of the ray
Of hope which breaks through the clouds
of bitter bereavement when the sorrow
ing ones reflect that by the careful fore
thought of the dear departed poverty has
been prevented from adding its horrors
10 those of the grave. It iB your duty to
provide for your loved ones. Do not put
it of until tomorrow. nor in the Ian
snage Of tins poet, Tomorrow never
comes.
There was another paragraph in the
document that showed the touch Of q
master hand. 1t ran something like this:
"Our policies are devised and de-
signed to meet the wants and needs Of
all people desiring insurance. They are
liberal They are honast They bring
the very hest returns. We have ideal
policies which we can safely recommend.
We can and will guarantee endowment
results at much less than endowment
rates. And again we pledge ourselves to
furnish paid up policies at far below the
usual cost. Our dividsnds are often five
times IS large as those Of other COM
panies ON similar policies. We also make
q specially of making liberal loans to
our Chants on their policies We are in
the field for business and we mean to get
it. And don't you s0rgct it."
A~ hOs 4coFO ISsAA WAN oA@~A Ss~1ASo
dependent ON charity"
The elocutionsry effect the benedict
to be threw into the reading Of these ex-
tracts gained hinA q round Of applause
from his companions It also brought to
him tho knowledge that every other
man in the office who was married-in
Chicago-had been similarly afflicted
But that brought no balm to his soul,
and he continued to kick. He didn't
think it the proper thing TO do and he
announced his intention Of writing a
circular letter to the various individuals
who had importuned him to take a
risk" and informing them of his feel
ings.
Z Don't do il, my boy" said the head
bookkeeper. "Wait until after you are
married You Will get forty of these
things then to one now, and then you'll
have to get out another letter. Wait till
then, and then you can address yourself
at one and the same time to the life in
surance agent, the furniture dealer, the
grocer, the man who has a second hand
sewing machine to sell, the philan-
thropist who wants to see young people
get along and who offers you lot way
ont in the suburbs that will make you