The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1895-03-08
BETTER NOT DO IT
ADVICE CONTAINED IN THE EXPERT
ENCE Or AN ACTRESS.
Trials and Circulation of Twenty-four
Hours With One Night Stand Conn
pany-Cheeriess Waiting Rooms, Delay
ed Trains ard Wretched Hotels.

pany-Cheeriess Waiting Rooms, Delay
ed Trains and wretched Hotels.
Isn't it odd how many people are stage
struck? More than half of my acouaint
ances have voluntarily confessed the soft
impeachment, among their number tive
clergymen and snowy haired state sena
tor. No doubt their inaginations picturC
(mine did a joyous vision of triumphs in
which wealth, fame, laurel wreaths, ETC..
are jumbled in artistic and cloudy confu
sion. The reality is different. Looking
backward-I won't say how long-I sec
only a never ending perspective of railway
coaches, sleeping cars and one night
stands.
Picture to yourself the bare walls, tbs
hard benches Of the little railway station,
the solitary kerosene lamp, that smells &c
heaven, hung at the far end just by the
ticket office, the sheet iron stove in the
center OF the roon-redhot If the weather
is warm. stone cold if a blizzard is in prog
ress without-tbe close sitting atmosphere
Of the place, the Jays" as the comedian
dubs them, lOuEging around chewing to-
bacco TO TN. last man, eXpectorating at,
on and around the cuspidor as though II
was some new kind of target, but never,
on, never, making bullseye.
You enter this charming place TO await
the train which carries you to the next
one night stand You hare rushed from
the theater after packing your trunk in a
jiffy, locked it three separate times only
TO find an important article Of your ward
robe left out each time, your face covered
with thick veil TO hide the makeup you
have not time TO remove, for the stage
manager has notified the company, one
and all, that the train leaves at 11:l5 p.
III. As the curtain falls at quarter to
IL, you have just 80 minutes to change
your costume, pack your trunk and get to
the station.
OF course you hurry for all you are
vyorth-it is goo miles to the next town,
and if you get left you pay your own fare.
\ long wait VIII that train never
come? The click, click of the telegraph
after our agent announces in tones the re-
verse OF cheerful:
'Our train is two hours late, and we
shall most likely miss connections at the
next junction"
junction, only to find our train gone and
over five hours to wait till the next one
arrives. We interview the station master
and are informed that there is a very good
hotel in the tOwn-the Pickwick House.
The town is mile or more from the
depot. The gentlemen Of the company an
nounce their intention of walking, but
the ''old man. declared he preferred to
die where he was. After a struggle a
covered wagon with seats was procured,
and the ladies, accompanied by the afOre-
said o. m, who consented to live a little
longer, jolted merrily away.
To say we were tired and hungry but
feebly expresses.our condition. However,
the prospect of breakfast and bed for a
few hours inclined Us all TO treat the
affair as joke.
Mine host of the Pickwick, who met us
at the door, bowling, smiling and rubbing
his hands, ushered us into the office,
where the omnipresent sheet iron stove
fiourished. a few wooden chairs, a small
desk and very large cuspidor completed
the furniture. Across one end of the room
was a partition about seven feet high,
from behind which came a suspicious
clatter of dishes. We looked at each other
In dismay. What had we struck?
Just then the agent came forward. La
dies, I'm very sorry, but you'll have TO
double up. There are only two rooms
available. The gentlemen will have to
sleep in the chairs
This was the last drop in my cup of bit
terness. / knew the leading lady would
chum with the soubrette, and the odd
woman fall to my share-and she snored
We'll, show us the rooms. Let Us rake
tho cinders from our hair and remove
some of the railroad SCOT from our faces
that at least would be something" we
said
The landlord turned his whole battery
of bows and smiles upon Us. Wouldn't
We take breakfast first? 1t was ready,
and
No, we would not" we unanimously
Informed him. Wash up first we must
and would, breakfast or no breakfast.
Show us the rooms at once"
''Impossiblei They were not made up
yet. If we would breakfast
No, Ho"--this from the old woman,
who did all tho talking. ''Show us tho
once.
smiles. Help was scarce and hard to keep,
and-well, TO tell the truth, the chamber
maid was also waitress and could not
leave the dining room till breakfast was
over"
In desperation I take a hand. Then
Well do up the rooms ourselves, only, for
goodness sake, let's get to them.
This time no bows or smiles, instead
logged look of determination The
landlord was in his last ditch. He was
sorry not TO oblige the ladies, but the
guests who were at present occupying the
rooms were not up yet.
The dining room was behind the parti-
ton, and the odor of stale tobacco floated
over il and mingled with the menu, which
consisted OF tough steak. eggs that any
self respecting hen would unhesitatingly
disown. very queer bread that some one
said was adulterated with bone dust, cot
tonSeed butter and coffee that the come
dian declared was Of the bootleg varie-
u, whatever that may be.
After this repssJ we cooled our heels in
the Office until the chambermaid conde-
sCcDdcd 10 let Us go To our roOms-cham-
bers Of horror rs they proved We were
called AT half past IL and rode hack 10 the
station in the ark On wheels This time
we got the train and arrived at our next one
night stand just in time 10 get supper and
rush 10 the theater, go through the Per
formanCe and leave town after il again
This i the record of - hours on the
road. Do ecu wonder that one night
stands arc bugboar 10 theatrical foikg-
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