Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1895-02-07
Scared Out of a Wife.

write was told to me one black, cold
night, in country parlor. 1t was
one of those nights in midwinter, when
the wind swept over the land, making
everything Jingle with its frosty breath,
that | was seated before a blazing fire,
surrounded by a jolly half dozen boys
and an old bachelor-Peter Green,
about forty and eight years old.
1t was just the night without to
make those within enjoy good story,
so each of us had to tell his favorite
story, save Mr. Green, and as he was
jolly old fellow, we all looked for a
jolly story. We were somewhat sur
prised to hear him say, Il have no story
that would interest you, so We had to
find other entertainment for time,
when one of the boys told me to ask
him how it happened he never got
married. So l did.
We'll, gentlemen" he began, sit
don't look right for me to tell how
that happened, but as it is about my
self | don't care much. You see when
1 was young we had to walk as high
as FIVE miles to church and singing
school, which was our chief enjoyment.
But this didn't have anything to do
with my getting a wife, but | just
wanted to show you that We had some
trouble them days in getting our sport.
"John Smith and l were like broth
ers, or like Mary and her little lamb;
where one went the other was sure to
90. So we went to see two sisters, and
as we were not the best boys magma
bic, the old gentleman took umbrage
and wouldn't allow us to come near
the house, so we would take the girls
to the end OF the lane, and there we
would have to take the final kiss.
1--WE soon got tired of that kind of
fun, and l told John on our way to
singing school one night, that | was
going to take Sadie home, and that |
was going into the house, too.
"He said the old man would run
me il did.
81 told him l was going to risk it
anyhow, let come what would.
"He said he would risk it if would.
80 home we went with the girls.
"When we got to the end of the
road l told the girls we proposed 60
ing all the way.
They looked at each other in way
| didn't like too well, but they said
the old folks would be in bed, so they
didn't care if we did.
They were little more surprised
still when l told them we thought of
going in little while, but as all was
quiet we had no trouble in getting in
to the kitchen.
"Then and there we had our first
court, and | made up my mind to ask
Sadie to be my wife the next time |
came.
at was now past the turn of night,
and we had four miles to walk. |
told John we had to be going. So we
stepped out on the porch, but as we
did so, the sky was lit up by lighting,
and one tremendous thunder peal
rolled along the mountain sides. Its
echo had not died out in the far off
wales until the rain began to drop
from the garnered fullness Of the
clouds. We waited for it to stop I'M
til we were all sleepy, when the girls
said we should 90 to bed in the little
room at the head of the kitchen; as
their father didn't get up early, we
could be home before the old folks
were astir. So after bidding the girls
a sweet goodnight, and hugging them
little, and wishing them pleasant
dreams and promising them to come
back next Saturday night, we started
for bed.
1--WE didn't have far to go, as the
bed stood near the head of the stairs
John was soon in bed, but as l was al
ways a little slow and full of curiosity,
l was looking around the little room.
cat last | thought | would sit down
on chest which sat spread over with
a nice white cloth, when, stars of the
East, l went plump into big egg
custard pie.
Il thought John would die laughing,
for he said l had smashed the custard
all to thunder, and the plate right in
two.
"You see we had to be awful quiet,
so that the old man would not hear.
81 was now ready to get into bed,
so l put the light out and picked up
my boots, thinking to put them in a
more convenient place, when down my