Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1895-05-09
ErEsiNs EoHoE s

n 5Ecub NUN IeCtuLly ulcN III MIS-
souri,. His name was eastman, and he
weighed 425 pounds.
II is proposed now that the dictates of
fashion require that women buy larger
shoes and smaller hats.
Life reports that a housekeeper calls
her Irish servant "Japan," because she
has such grudge against china.
Jeweler-This cup costs So extra on
account Of the chasing. Farmer Way
cross-Ycr don't halter chase me, pay
cash.
"Vefe is dat major, lnajor-vat you
call hing" said French officer, calling
on Major Hyde. Somebody goes away,
nobody can't find him"
Wiggles-"I know just what to take
for seasickness. Waggles (eagerly)-Do
your What is it? Wiggles--An ocean
steamer.--!Som6rUiiieJ Journal
"Sayin' de right thing at de right
time" said Uncle Eben, Fam er great
glt'. But not sayn' anything at de
right time am mos ez good an er heap
mo relpble. ~ Washington Star.
A little girl who had been taken to
church cast her eyes, for the first time,
on group of choir boys in SUPPLIES,
and very mach disturbed the equa-
nimity Of her mother by inquiring," Are
they going to get their hair cutY"
a new candidate for Job with the
Oshkosh Fire Department wrote /.
Hereby put in my application for a
job in the Fire Department. l can run,
jump or CLINE like cat and have no
feer and stand smoke like u ham"
Oshkosh Herald.
Mamma" said Willie, "do you pay
Jennie $l5 a month for looking after
me" mo, SIG" said mamma. "She
is good nurse and deserves it," "Well,
| say, Ma, I'll look after myself for $40.
You'll save So by it. "--HTper'S Young
People.
Pat--Ye SEE Ofm not ez good an
Amerikin rs we are. Bggorro, Dim q
dom sight better wun. Native A. =. A.
How Is that, you bog trotting Fenian
Pat-Becase ye wuz born an Amerikin
an cudn't help ycrself, whole Oim ono
Of me own free will.-Br00klyn Life
Texan lat the grocery store)-"What
do you call them things?" Grocer
"rhose arc olives" "Are they good to
eat?" "Certainly! Try one OF them. =
| (l3tes into one) jest us | expected
Got wooden core. Come from Con.
nectcut, don'tthey Chicago Tribune
A newspaper man 10 a person who
can sharpen his pencil with pair 0:
scissors, while journalist has to have
his pencil sharpcned for him. Again, 9
newspaper man walks over TO the sub
sidewalk restaurant for 10 cent lunch
while a journalist takes cab for dinner
at the club. Boston Transcript.
Buyer-That eve is worth about ii
cents. Mountaineer-lIit air worth jes
dollar m or half. Buyer-You are
joking, the old thing is lean and
Mountaineer drawing huge pistol ant
cooking it-Strcnger, wat did ye say a
that air eve was wo'th? Buyer (5riskly
Nigh on to seven dollars is what
sail.
On Virginia farm two small coloret
boys who were hired to weed onions
were started at opposite ends of row
and told to weed toward each other
as done mon what you's DONE" sait
Dan, presently. mo, you amt, nuther,
asserted Sam. "Ses, l is den" glanc
ing down the row. us lots nearer t.
yo' than yo' is TO me. "--Hdrper's Bazdr
William Hunter Baltic, who recent,
died in England at the age of SO years
was the only son Of Matthew Bailie
NJ. D., who attended George LII durini
his frequent illnesses. His mother wa
one of the twin daughters of Thoma
Denman, NJ. d., John and William
Hunter were his great uncles, and 81
Benjamin Brodie was his first cousi
once removed.
susan" said Farmer Punkin q
Kansas, yell have to take the lid off
them two lack rabbits er they'll bile to
much" "Im most skeart to-" answere
his wife. "Ihere amt nuthin' to b
skGarcd Of" 81 don't know bout tina
The Legislatures made that anti-gam
bin law so strict tibet they'll have til
+ police down on us ef they know we wa
! openin pot with pair of jacks"
i Near Moulins, recently, vicious blu
/ gave the occasion for testing the powe
/ of the label carbine. The soldiers wei
5 called out to kill the bull. A built
e from an army gun entered at the bull
8 shoulder and came out at the grippe
i completely trayersiug the bulls body
! the large bones were pierced with roun
e holes without splintering. 1t is believe
!. that the bullet would have passt
s through eight men in row.
o Much of k.note literature is sorl
e rhyme scriboled by idle persons, b
IS occasionally It is opposite to the purpo
of bank-notes. Sir Walter Scott a
/. mired these lines, written on the BAT
Il Of guinea.no'c:
IS Farewell my note, and whereso er We WEI
d Shun gaudy scenes, and be the poor mar
a friend.
You've left q poor man: go to one as pc
And drive despair and hunger from L
door.
>, Abdurrahman Ameer of Afghauista
n is one OF the most interesting despots
- the world. He il over so years of aG
i, Il man of great stature and coloss
- strength, with a broad, massive cou
Ia tenance and brillilnt black eyes. He
- dlgnitied and commanding in bearin
~" and can be genial i he cares to be. /
is n man of great Intellectual power III
,t of a wide range of information. lie
Nv feared by his enemies and adOred by /
friends.
y An office boy attended at the cole
:, tors office on the last day for payi
~ the income tax. Tive come to pay NJ
RS tax" SAID the ,,outh, putting DO
49, arms on the counttr, al suppose v
VI allow the usual two aud half?" an
my boy" said the Inspector gazing
!. nignly through his ipectaclcs Mt t
le small specimen Of humanity, there
no discount here" VERY we'll"
:. piled the small boy, "tlen I'll pay it Il
VI time, but my instructions arc to Gle
the account lid Bits ...