Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1895-02-15
HUMOR or THE DAY.

with sawed-OH trousers. PUCK.
When man is resigned to fate, fate
usually accepts the resignation. Puck.
Things are not what they seem.
Free lunch, for instance, is not Free
Atchison Globe.
Tell a girl that she writes an inter-
esting letter. and she begins to dream
of writing book.-Atchison Globe.
1t is all right to court the Muse:
but her editorial guardians make it
awfully hard to get hold of any of her
money.-Puck.
If we may Judge by wigs and shaven
faces, the barber seems to have been
the most important eighteenth-cen-
tury parsonage. Puck.
The tide taken at the flood only
bears man on to fortune when he is
smart enough to walk ashore before it
can take him back. Puck.
Caller -"Where are you going for
your vacation, dear?" Mrs. Make
bread "Going to let cook go for
couple of weeks. - Inter Ocean.
Mistress thinking about dessert)-
"What kind of pies are you most Ia
miliar with?" New Girl Bakers
pies, Num- New York Weekly.
II cannot live without you,'
The love-.orn suitor sighed
''And could not live with you,"
The wealthy maid replied.
New York Morning Journal.
Harry-"I understand she gave you
a fiat refusal?" Jack-"Yes; nothing
but four-s story brownstone would
satisfy her. Kate Fields Washing
ton.
You can not raise flowers with last
years sunshine; but the rosiest flow
ers of fancy often spring from the
glowing warmth of last years over
coat.
Jinks-sI understand you were
pretty we'll off before you were mar
ried." Blinks-"Yes; but ! didn't
know it. Smith, Gray & Co. s
Monthly.
Little Boy-"How old are you"
Miss Antique (confusedly)-"Iou
should not ask lady how old she is"
Little Boy-"Oh, 'xcuse me. How
young are you?"-Good News.
"Blamed if ! see any fun in having
to put up at hotel" muttered Blk
er to himself as he handed his watch
and chain over to the clerk as security
for his board. Buffalo Courier.
The ancient knight leaned lightly
upon his lance. Marry" The
modern maid was on his neck in an in
slant. "Oh, Roderick," she cried,
"Thls is so sudden Pick Me Up.
Young Sculptor "Well, Bronson,
what do you think of that bust?"
Bronson-"H' may be a good
bust-but, really, Chizzle, it strikes
ME as bad break. - Harper's Bazar.
os, don't you remember Sweet Alice, Ben
Sweet Alice with hair so brown;
| How she clipped It all of and bought
blonie wig
As soon as she got into town.
uMaude lat the piano)-'I do hate
| these finger exercises. l think they're
Just horrid." Edith why, think
they're lovely. They do show off
ones rings to such advantage, you
know. Boston Transcript.
Nettie-"What did Mr.. Knowall
write on the card he put in the basket
of howers?" Blanche--"For the one
I love best" Nettie-"The horrid
creature has bought them for him
self Chicago Inter-Ocean.
II marriage is failure, as the critics of
have said,
And the wedding-bell but tolls Loves
II marriage is failure, and love SO soon is
A clear case OF heart -fai ure II must be.
Carolyn Wells.
First Pater-"Loaded down as usu-
al" Second Pater-"Yef. It's piano
music for my daughter" First Pater
-"Apparently she gets it by the ton. ;"
Second Pater (wearily)-"Yes, but
she delivers it by the pound. Pitts
burg Bulletin.
II can tell You, baron, that when
my offer of marriage was rejected by
the prima donna was SO utterly mis-
erable that 1 was on the point OF
throwing myself out of the window"
"What prevented you?" "The
height. - -Karlsbaden Wochenblatt.
In Active Practice at Ninety .eight.