The Washington times., 1895-05-05
OBTAINED AFFIDAvITs
THE GAS METERS REVENGE.
Being a True Tale of Two Monopoli'
Little Defenders.

Being a True Tale of Two Monopolies
Little Defenders.
Gas Meter took the cable car at the
Baltimore aud Ohio depot the other day to
go to be inspected at the gas inspectors
office, Tenth and D. 1t planted itself
suuarely IN the most comfortable corner,
drew up its little legs prin1ly aud disposed
OF its hands in the most correct attitude
OF well-bred repose.
1t viii be Observed that the Meter was in
most comfortable state of self approba-
ton.
The wiuter OF it's arduous labors was
over. 1t had just passed through the
softening and purifying period OF Lent, in
which it had reflected upon and Tepented
OF any sins of overregistry il had been
guilty OF III the long nights.
The time of the year was come when bills
must be reduced, anyhow and the Meter was
conseientiously performing It's duty OF go
ing to be inspected.
At the National Hotel quite a number OF
lady tourists came in and everybody moved
up. at Seventh street another addition
was made to the crowd in the car,
and two or three ladies were left standing
after every gentleman, except the Gas
Meter, bad given up his seat. The Wash
ington and Georgetown fare register here
took occasion to call down at the Gas
Meter:
Come, my little gentleman" he said,
.'can't you get up and let this lady have a
seat?"
mo, I won't, you big buffer" re-
responded the gas meter.
Don't them was the reply. you're
nothing but nasty little sneak thief any
how"
Il am, am II? I'd Just like to know what
you are. It's true / may stretch things
little in my winter reports aud do shave
the public occasionally by not lighting the
street lamps till it's half hour late. It's
true / started not many years ago with
$50 900 and now reckon my estate at
So 900 900. / have in addition drawn
regularly an average of 10 per cent. which
have invested in large properties outside,
/ have had to furnish some congressman
with gas free of charge to keep them quiet
and in act have become SO accustomed tothis
that l never think of registering anything
in a Cong ressmans house. l have oc-
casionalIy been forced, much against my
will, to go even furtherr than to furnish free
gas to persons in power. But it is utterly
unfair to assume that / am guilty of any
thing that is not sanctioned by ordinary
business usages.
But you'll You ask the people to tear
up their streets and give permanent posses
sion of half the road"
You cripple and MAIN without care for
anything except your unholy profits.
"You lie and cheat, saying to the public
you'll carry them to their destination
and give them seats to ride in, and then
run the cars on purpose so far apart that
whenever there is the least crowd some
body has to stand, and frequently half
car full are on their feet swinging to the
straps while you jolt and jerk them along
worse than an ox-wagon over a corduroy
road.
''You don't remember how you promised
US you would stop this jerking, do you,
liar, cheat, homicide?''
The Gas Meter did not seem excited as
it uttered all this. There was faint
CLEAN in its little, bead-like eyes as it shot
q glance OF aristocratic contempt with the
last words and settled bcak comfortably
inso its seat, leaving the ladies TO stand.