The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-25

the bargain when / bought ms estate
were. II properly considered. real treasures
ana that any one, for instance. would be
very dull OF perception If he did not see
in that silly fellow who was a mere laugh
ing machine. enc % the most faithful
servants breathing. He brought me my
breakfast singing and dancing. How he
laughed as he entered my room polishing
enc Of my top-boots Faithful, too, was
that watchman whom no thief could sur
prise, ana who finished every sentence
with. This lord is lord even in the realms
beIow'-not "A very pleasant SUGGESTION,
but one with which / must put up. And
then that gnome with his slttering eyes
what would not a French novelist give
TO possess him for a character study.
The coachman. always crying about his
imaginary crime. would not steal one grain
of his masters oats. Finally. my schOl-
arly steward. whose knowledge Of chem
istry had sent a little on his head, knew
every intricacy of my estate; and alto
gether the late count, while exercising
philanthropy by adopting these lunatics'
had made Of them a body Of most de-
voted servants; and I felt it would be
a great pity on my part not to continue
his noble work. Honestly. however. 1 must
confess that underlying this fine resolve
in my mind was a deep curiosity 10 solve
the mystery connected with that siren
whom / had heard. but not seen.
l did not quite know what remedy would
be the best to administer to these domes-
tics for their mental ailments. but l felt
sure that nothing was 80 effective IN the
cure Of imbecility as a good idea, and
applied one or two Of the ideas which
occurred to me with great SUCCESS.
Louis was very fond of wine, and if he
could only get hold of il he was so jocund
ali day that you could do nothing with
him by reason of his continual
explosions of laughter. One day as he
was laughing most heartily l told MIN
10 bring me bottle of water. He brought
1t and placed it before me: whereupon l
shouted to him: what have you put IN
this bottle2"
Il? Nothing. my lord-nothing but the
water" he replied. laughing.
Haven't you put poison in it?'
~ Ha. ma; he, her
LET me see whether you have the eour-
age to drink 1t yourself"
The laughter departs from his lips, and
ne got frightened, not of the poison. but
of tine water
III it is true that you didn't poison the
water, drink it here before me-
tie drank a few drops and put 1t down
again, looking at me with an undecided
glance as II not knowing whether l was
in test or earnest
Drink the whole of it," / shouted, in
an angry tone.
The unfortunate man then applied the
bottle to his mouth and swallowed the
whole contents. He was awfully serious
- t.a.1
indeed nightly offended. l said to him:
''Henceforth, whenever ] ask you for wa
ter, bring two glasses--I Will drink one
and you the other
This cure had excellent results, and rid
him of great many of his laughing fancies
though he complained to the servants
that he feared that his master had gone
a trihe wrong in his head. After that
we agreed very well together. He drank
his glass of water every day. and got
more sensible. once only did he play
practical joke upon me. When l sent him
for a bottle of wine he brought two glass
es, and poured one out for himself to show
that there was no poison in it,
The excellent gatekeeper gave me less
trouble. The little idiot of a huntsman
had no ambition higher than that Of
wearing a red coat such as in worn by
fox hunters | bought him one, and
1henceforth | don't think any man living
could have driven it out of his head that
he was the most important man on the
face of the earth.
also did a good turn for the coach
man One day when he was crying very
much, and felt sorry for him, inquired,
Have you ever been punished for the
crime which you committed2'
mo, sir, never" he replied, mournfully.
THAT is a great pity. If you were pun
fshed, your heart would feel lighter. What
do you say TO my giving you forty strokes
with a stick as an eXpiation for the mis-
deed?"
The man jumped at the idea, saying, I'm
deed it would do me world of good. l
have thought of this for long time, but
never dared to ask for its fulfillment. But
] should feel so much better after it. He
lay down before me on the floor so that
should beat him then and there. NO my
friend" l replied, Il am not profession
al torturer, but l will send for Louis, and
he will doubtless give you satisfactory
tsirashing"
l summed Louis. made him drink whole
bottle of water so that he should not ex-
plode with laughter during the perform
ance. The experiment was wonderfully
successful / had told Louis not to beat
the fellow too numerically, but the coach
man implored me to count the strokes so
that he should not get less than thirty
and he kept calling out to Louis to deal
him heavier blows. which Louis did most
conscientiously, the last one-the thirtieth
being so tremendous that the fellow
seemed quite satisfied and DESTROYS of no
more. A great weight had been lifted
from his mind. He regained his good hui
NOR, and when anyone asked him how
this had happened he replied that by the
consent of his master, he had been able
TO expiate one of the most awful crimes
imaginable. AS regards the little gnome
he still gave himself all the naughty airs
of Roman knight.
He fancied he could do all kinds of
things, and he in fact managed to catch
several live wolves and cage them, and
was not afraid 10 enter the cage, but he
would nor be ordered to do anything. He
reflected that he was the King of Lapland
especially when the moon was at the
full. At such periods you could do moth
ing with the little dwarf and he would
attempt to throttle anyone with whom
he had a grievance.
One night l heard that the wild bears
had made a raid from the forest and were
treading down my Indian corn. / seized
my gun and called for this Nimrod, asking
him to come out and help me shoot them.
He looked at me with glittering eyes and
distended nostrils, and ] could see that
he was feeling for the huntsman's knife
concealed in his belt Louis. the valet