Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1895-08-04

He is quite a distance LOlh INC H"o01
dashers. and for all he knows he may
ba rwentv-four hours late in getting a
certain kind of tie. And that would be
sad He doesn't talk much, but wneh
he does he is very long on silly gossip
o7d very short on sense. He likes you
no know that ne has eighty-three scarf
Minis and that his mamma thinks that
bv next Christmas he Will nave nun
dred. He isn't a sin, he Is oluhueI'
but sometimes plumbers make more
trouble than absolute vices lie Is not
fond of girls. They are TOO energetic
He thinks they expect "a fellow 70
nuss ones coat. get ones Tie out or or
der in their nasty. rough old games,
and he would rather just sit still For
tunately. he can do it here, because the
summer population is largely composed
of fools and knaves, and there are
plenty Of armchairs.
GIRLS WHO ARE AFTER SPORT.
The athletic young woman is less
conspicuous here than at some other
places, but still she mas her represeta-
tive. She cares nothing whatever
about her appearance in evening dress.
Tn the ball room her frOck looks aS II
it had been thrown at her, her gloves
are apt to be s0iled. and all her belong
ings have a doubtful look as il they
weren't sure whether they we're her
property or not. All her thought Is
given 10 her riding habit and her BIZ
cycle get-up. The fit OF her habit IS
perfect When she jumps on her
wheel. from her leggings TO her tan
Sat, from her gloves TO her tie. she feels
sure she is correct. She can talk about
nothing but her wheel and her horse,
with the preference given to the first.
She takes no interest i'm books or needle
work, and she looks at men only as
good riders or good "bykers.' Ii any
body should object TO the bicycle, it
seems to her ridiculous, and that a man
might have a fancy for rowing boat
himself strikes her 2s idiOrC. Men are
comrades. never admirers. They are
good fellows, never pleasant gentlemen.
/ am not fond of this girl, nor do / adj
mire the bicycle, and she considers me
a fool. so that We stand equal
THIS WOMAN Is VERY LITERARY.
OF course the literary woman is TO
the fore She is very willing to tell
You Of her work and she was kind
enough 20 suggest to me the other even,
ing, who she only knows as an often
sive person embrOidering a tea cloth.
that it really isn't difficult 20 write
If one has q certain subject. and that
perhaps If you tried and explained it
thoroughly, somebody might be in
terested in knowing about embrOid-
cry. | thanked her and said that I
would hardly like TO attempt to write
about 1t because after all I didn't know
very much as 20 fancy stitches myself.
and [ might not make my reader under
stand She finally said. Perhaps
not and may be it would be better if
You didn't take up anything that you
wouldn't succeed in She is perfect
ly satisfied with herself She reads
French novels in the original and leaves
them on the veranda with her name
written on them in large letters and
very sarcastic motto under IT, Then
somebody returns the book to the desk
and asks who she is, and says she must
be very clever, and the clerk tells her.
and she goes upstairs and gets Nor
dau's book and dalies over il. She
save me q beautiful notice in an out
Of town paper She didn't know my
name, but she spoke Of me as the daugh-
ter of my mother and described a new
bonnet I had and I bought twenty-five
copies of the paper and blue-marked il
and sent it to my friends. And we an
do that And the literary lady con-
desCends and calls herself a Bohemian.
and told me she would introduce me to
some people who wrote, and l thanked
her and 1 hope if she sees this she will
keep her word because it might help
ME along / don't think 1 ever met
anybody who Was more willing to help
people along than she was, especially
people who didn't need her help.
MIR. AND MRS. PRIM AND FAMILY.
There comes from one Of the cottages.
for they wouldn't stay at the hotel, the
Prim family. 1t consists of father and
mother, two daughters and a son. and
before they are introduced to anybody,
they ask ina whisper: Are they pe0-
pie we would like 10 know If they
hear anybody laughing Mrs Prim says
in a stiif way: If what you are laugh
ing about is quite innocent, do tell it
to me- If somebody says that a GER
tain young man is very handsome, the
oldest daughter raises her eyes and in
Quires: But is he really goOd?' They
so through the world intoxicated with
ramrOd tea. overcome by the prophet
les and looking for sinners everywhere.
Each holds his lips like the steel mount
ing of an 0ld-fashiOned purse. and if
YOU say a woman is pretty the mother
draws her lips down in a way that
hints that beauty is a snare and a de-
fusion: if you say a man is interesting.
the father curls his lip as if to insinuate
that brains and vice usually so hand il
hand. and even if you happen to re-
mark thatthesunshine is lovely. the son
twists his mouth up as if he doubted
whether sunshine was so desirable after
all. They take everything in sips, and
they bite their words as If speech We're
wicked You can never imagine one of
the Prim girls having to pin on a rib
bon bow 20 hide where q button ought
20 De. On dear, no. Their buttons
and buttOnhOles are welded Their
hooks and eyes unite, and every part
of their wearing apparel is as exact
as if it had been wrought by Euclid.
I don't think they get much pleasure
in life They are TOO critical They
are the sort Of people who, when they
20 10 heaven. will object to harps and
want automatic pianos
THIS WOMAN ALWAYS WORKS
MEN
The Lady with a Past is prevalent in
SARATOGA. She is dressed in the latest
fashion. and accompanied by sheep
dog middle of age and dOwdy OF dress
Last year her name was MoDtmorency.
this wear il is Howard. Heaven only
l-..,.r-- -..l,.t iL r-ill hn -l.Nt L saarns