Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-03-28

Our Own Day-A Budget OF funs
sprinkles Of Spice.
"She's very pretty girl. She Is really
immense "And she has an immense
father, TO boot."-Syracuse Post.
Mamma, see how cold that poor
chestnut man looks! Do give me i've
cents so he can earn something
Fliegende Blaetter.
Colonel--"Are you one of the 'ad-
vanced' women, Miss Passe?" Miss p.
(haughtily)-'Indeed am not. was
only % last birthday."-New York
World.
me, would your Miss Sears-"Most
certainly not, but why do you ask such
question:" Jimpson-"Just to decide
bet" Kate Fields Washington.
Maud--"That Swattles girl is wildly
infatuated with her new chum, that
Molly Jamesby. What does 1t mean.
wonder?" Madge-"It means that
Molly has brother."-Chicago Record.
She-"I have been listening to an aw-
fully clever man for the past hour"
Hc-'Then You may find me dull" She
mot mt all. One can't stand too much
OF that sort Of thing, you know."-Ilife.
Kicksy-"Wife. can you tell me why
i am like a hemp Mrs. Kicksy-"No,
dear, why is it?" Kicksy-"Because
can seldom find anything where l
laid it yesterday. "-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
what has Mrs. De Style done with
the money her uncle left her?" 'She
did intend to build house, but see
she has come out with new sleeves In
two dresses, nstead."-Chicago Inter
Ocean.
Jilson says he does not see why there
should be any objection to woman
entering the,legal profession. Nine out .
of every ten married men know well
enough that her word is law.-Buffalo
Courier. n
First dog-What is that row down
the aisle? Second dog-That's one OF
Mulford's pups. He won his first prize
yesterday and his head has swelled so
they can't get his collar off.--Chicago
Mail.
"How did Ohltimer like the act of
the lion tamer?" asked the circus pro-
1rietor. HE was bored to death. You
see, he used to be the manager of an
opera company with three prima DON
mas in Washington Star.
Mistress Why, Nettie, you are nice
girl! What are you doing with two
sweethearts? Maid-O! please. ma am.
] have only one. The other only comes
when the one is i'll or on furlough.-
Neueste Nachrichten.
Miss Wahbash-Will l see you at the
Thornborne's masquerade tomorrow?
Mr.. Beaconstreet-Yes shall go as n
monk. "Oh. how lovely! And will
hurdy-gurdy man have you on
string y"-Indianapoli Journal.
At the Assizes: Judge-Have you
anything further to say? Prisoner-I
should only like to ask that the time
occupied by counsel's speech for the
defense be deducted from my term Of
imprisonment.-Il Popolo Romano.
w HIT Is Tic COTTeCt lOTlu LUZ Tic
opening sentence of marriage license
when an heiress captures an impover-
ished noblemanT' he asked. 81 give 1t
up" she replied know all men 10y
these cash esents."-Chicago Post.
Il am afraid" said the languishing
attuned to welcome sweet spring once
more'' "Yes it u.s." replied the practi-
cal man. II took fifteen grains of quiz
nine this morning. "-Washington Star.
"Bill Doolan's band has been cap
tured in Oklahoma" remarked the
newspaper reader. "You don't say So"
replied the man who pretends to keep
posted, but doesn't. "What was Bills
band doing? Playing Sweet MarieT"
Washington Star.
Merchant to clerk applying for sit
uation)-So you speak French and En-
glish? Clerk-And Dutch into the bar
gain. Merchant-We have no dealings
with Dutchmen; therefore l will take
third of your salary.-Plauder-
ecke.
Mr.. Sharpp-If there were no woin-
en-, the men would have nothing 10
laugh at. Mrs. Sharpp-If there were
no women, the men wouldn't want
anything to laugh at. They would
not feel like laughing.-New York
Weekly.
Customer (timidly)-I-er-sup
you have some-er--suitable books for
n man about to-er-be married? Head
clerk (promptly)-Yes. sir. Here Ski;-
giles, show this gentlman our line of
largest sized pocketbooks.-Buf
Courier.
At the Hairdresser's.--A barber, af-
ter applying some sticking plaster to a
cash made with the razor, prepared,
nothing daunted, to continue the opera
ton. Customer only fight up to first
blood. The duel is at an end; let Us
shake hands.-Il Motto per Ridcre.
Little Dot-"Uncle George says I'm
too loquacious.' What does that
mean?" Mamma-"That means you
talk too much" Little Dot (after re-
fection)--T s'pose big words was made
so folks could say mean things wifout
hurtin' anybody's feelings" Good
News.
"Well, Mrs. Pnrslow. suppose you