The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-04-23
ROMANCE OF JANET.

seven IdQe1 46IL6FS ana q memory now
cruelty vivid again are all that time has
left of the sweetest romance of a life. I
could not hope for sweeter-and would
not-but oh, how brief it wasi Seven let
tiers and memory. Oh, yes, and photo
graph, which I cannot destroy, and yet
which brings unshed tears to my eyes
when chance upon it some lonely even
ing.
A romance with no beginning and no
end. Fate brought us together, and loved
her. Fate gave her great sorrow to bear
and loved her more and more. Then
fate, or madness, parted us. never knew
If she loved me then. read in her words,
her letters and in her eyes at parting that
she dreamed of love, but she was young
and lonely-perhaps she only felt my SYM
pathy, and grew happy under kindness.
did not realize at first how impossible
my hope was. My youthful dabbling in
literature assumed a new Importance.
was to lay fame at her feet in place of the
wealth I did not possess. My writings
were characterized by new energy. The
Leader accepted them. She read them and
said: 81 liked your last sketch. liked
your verses in Saturdays paper. - 1t al
most seemed to me that fame had come. [
aimed higher. The editor of monthly
magazine published pOem-for it was a
poem, being inspired by love of her-and
sent with the check kindly encouraging
letter. This was the beginning of my TO
nance, but there was no end.
She was wealthy, while must hesitate
between two scarfs, and choose the cheaper
one 1 must write sometimes what 1
knew would sell readily though knew
truly that the writing was not good. 1
was going through the university with the
allure in manuscript does not pass current
for board. The struggle was unpleasant,
but not hopeless. And what goal to
strive toward Oh, Janet hope you may
never know how one man loved you
Then her uncle came. How clearly he
showed me what was ''not advisable and
chow the world looks at these matters.
Janet is young, and she was lonely when
she knew you first = Alas l realized that
he was right "Janet does not yet love
you. Will you be cruel enough to make
her love you if you cam" l made no
promise, but [ could not forget ''cruel to
Janet And yet my love was cruelty.
Fame is so far away from man; hunger
and storm so near. l used to think that if
1 had won Janet, though l were coward
enough to take wealth as gift from her.
I could have made her happy. No one who
shall come after can love her more tender
ly than L have. But that mad thought has
passed
Our meetings became more formal. The
last time called the piazza was crowded
with her uncle's friends. We talked be-
| hind the vines where we had sometimes
! fingered until we were scolded like two
children. There were the same ivies, the
same stars twinkling through the leaves,
but Janet and were changed. 1 have for
| gotten if she gave me her hand in greet
| ing. We talked commonplace and parted
! like mere acquaintance.
So the romance ended-with no end
Would that we had quarreled. If l had
made her jealous and she had sent me
away in her anger, it would be well. But
| [ loved her too sincerely for that. If / had
found her false, how easily 1 could hate
her. But the romance has no end. Sum
n1ers and winters have passed, not many
but long. have spent several vacations
/ in her city, but have never seen her A
( friend of hers is one of my classmates. We
often meet officially, but her name is never
mentioned.
e. My ambition is exhausted. My home is
distant. I have friends, but to them I am
only clever failure. They cannot guess
that even youth may have history.
/ When / met Janet, l was not wealthy
Now am worse Mrs. Osmond, who pro-
vides the shingles above on which the
March rain is just now drumming so mu-
! sically, and who clears up my desk once d
week by throwing valuable papers in the
wastebasket has asked me, could you let
me have a little money soon?' Mrs. Os-
nond is trsgically polite, but she's bust
nesslil1e. Mrs, Mckeon, whose plain bat
honest board is supposed to be paid for ill
advance, has begun to place my little
memorandum ofaccount' in obtrusive at
titudes by my plate, and cali attention to
it by biockhouse of glasses and butter
dish The mail is unpleasantly full If
business communications these days. /
used to wait for the postman, hoping Jan
cts letter viii come today.
There are only seven of them, and 4.
memory. And still the romance has no
end. will graduate in June. My diploma.
is forthcoming, though my heart knows
that for the last two years have done lit
tie work worthy of any reward.
L shall graduate in June And what
then? What should / become rich for, if
couldS There is the army. Once 1 hoped
to be an officer But private does not
starve, and B. A. ought in time to merit
cheverons. This is worth the effort In
the quiet and monotony of the life might
forget what is so sweetIy bitter to reInem-
Der. And if war should come, the shut in
energy of life would find an outlet.
But if 1 should walk in the city and see
her once more, think the madness would
win. How love and pride, OF love and rea-
son would war togetherl But still the ro-
nance has no end, since it had no begin
ming Exchange.
Postponed the Duel.