Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1895-09-05
FILINGS AT THE FAIR SEX.


earnestly. ''That depends" replied
the new girl. (which one?"-Life.
Young husband: 'YOu never sug-
gest an economical idea" Young wife:
Yes, do! I suggested that we should
buy a pug to eat the scraps we throw
away, and YOU laughed ait me. PUCK.
''Mrs. Brown never sits up to wait
for her husband" mo" mo. When
she expects him to be out late she re-
tires early, sets the alarm at 3 O'Clock
and gets up refreshed and reproach-
full. ''-Puck
First new woman: ''That'S a rotten
cigar you're smoking, Maude." Sec
ond new woman: yes, my husband
gave me a box of 'em for Christmas,
but if 1 don't smoke 'cm it will break
his heart. "-Detroit News.
He: Carrie, do you know, darling,
that you are the only girl I ever"
She: There, that will do. Don't tell
me any more of your fairy stories"
He: But hear me out. You are the
only girl, l say, that l ever thought
was fool enough to have me-" She:
you. Yes, Charlie, I think you may
buy me that ring ais soon as you like"
Boston Transcript.
'Wow," she shrieked. ''WOw."
There was a sound of many feet.
"Wow" Nightmare they suggested
''Nightbicycle," sighed the fin de steele
young person, and surrendered herself
again to slumber.-Detroit Tribune.
George mervously): ''Td like the
| best in the world, Kittie, to marry
you, but don't know how to propose"
Kittie promptly and practically.
''Tratis all right, George, you've fin
ished with me; now go to papa
Detroit Free Press.
Jones: 81 don't think Mrs. Better
days ever enjoyed her money so much
as she does now" Mrs. Jones'" Why,
she lost her money some years ago."
Jones: TRUE but it has supplied her
with an unfailing topic of converse
ton ever since'-T1-uth.
Papa: ''WIhere is your mamma p
Little daughter: 81 fink she has gone
to Mrs. De Fashions 4-o'clock tea
her say she wished Mrs. De Fashion
was in Halifax, an she went out
about 5."-New York Weekly.
Stella: Don't you think it shocking
the way Maud swings i'm the hammock
before the men?" Della: "Well if
you paid $50 for a pair of Partisan
silk hosiery you wouldn't want to hide
them under a bushel all the time
would you?''-New York World
A Haverhill woman has brought
suit against the Lowell, Lawrence anS
Haver'hill Street railway for $1,000
damages, resulting from loss of dig
nifty and nervous shock, caused by the
conductor pulling a man out of the
car without first asking her to make
room or to get out for the time being
!. She flung the package ON the coun
ter and stood like AN angry queer
; while the clerk unwrapped the bath
ing suit which she had purchased only
a few days before. His cheek palet
and his glance fell when it met he
flashing eyes. Really, madam" b,
said hoarsely, sit is PARTLY your owl
. fault. You should have told me vol
{ wanted one that would wash. Wash
: ington Star.
Nine. Paul Blouet, who was Mis-
Mary Bartlett of England, is cerItainl,
one Of the most helpful ''helpmeets
a literary man could have She lis no
only the translator of all her hus
bands books into English, but size
also an excellent cook, a model hostes
e and lis to be seen at her very bes
:, when entertaining her husband
V friends, whose name is legion. Sh
: lis brunette, with dark brown eye
S and there is about her a combina ito
t Of that vivacity and quiet retiremen
S which is so seldom found. She ofte
e finds recrea ton in drawing, althoug
{ her artistic efforts are only seen b
L her husband and daughter and a fe'
: intimate friends. She is eXtremel
y we'll read in French and English lite
It ature. In matters of dress she is
nc believer in the simple and is general
II to be seen i'm black