davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09
A Valuable Find.

After years of study and labor, there has at
last been discovered u sure and neverfailng
remedy. 1t has hecn tested on patients, who
have despaircd of ever being cured. the results
have been. in every case, wonderful. Groffs
Rheumatic Cure is uncqualcd as positive
remedy in all cases of Chronic and Acute
Infammatory Rheumatism. Cont. Lumbago,
Sciutaca, Neuralgia; especially Ovarian Ncu-
ralgia. Dysmenorrhea and all kindred affec-
tions. 1t is also valuable Blood Purifier,
being especially useful in Eczema, Psoriasis.
scrofala, all Glandular Enlnrgements and
diseases of the Liver aud Kidneys. 1t is
attacks are relieved in from one to three days
and n positive cure effcdtcd in from five to
eighteen days. For sale by j. ?. Bishop.
Charles Town, w. Va. Mh12-6m.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09

Mr.. c. B. Rouss recently sent a
$50 check to the Independent Fire
Company of this place as token OF
his appreciation of beautiful floral
tribute by that organization to the
memory of his beloved dead in Mt.
Hebron Cemetery, Winchester, Va.
Charles I'oecn Tree Press,
We might add to the above item
that the fire organizations of this
town which placed flowers in the
'Rouss Lot" on the sixth of June
were also the recipients of check
for similar amount.-Win. Times.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09
The keystone OF the Arch

In the ediace of health is yigor, which means
not merely muscular energy. but an active
discharge of the various functions OF the BODY,
snch ms digestion, secretion of The bile, the
action of the bowels, the circulation of the
blood. Nothing more actively aud thoroughly
contributes 10 the united performance of these
functions than the renowned tonic and reguia
of its use is speedy gain of strength, together
with the agreeable consciousness that Inc
tenure of life is being trengthened-that one
is laying mp store of vitality against me
nnayoida bic draughts which old age makes
upon the system. The terrifying influence OF
the Bitters constitute it reliable safeguard
against malaria. rheumatism and kidney
trouble Appetite and sleep improve through
it's use. and it protects the system from the
effects of cold and damp.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09

Apprehended serious trouble in
the Pocahontas mining district has
caused Gov. MacCorkle to place the
I'd Regt. w. V. N. G. under arms.
A telegram from Col. Fast to Capt.
Pyne, of Co. L, 1st Regt., of this
place, Saturday, inquiring if the
Company was ready for active SER
vice, was responded to by Capt. p.
with the information that they were,
with the exception of tents, and re-
questing his company to be used if
possible.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09
Secure a Position.

Wanted for office work, on salary, in most
every county in the South and West young
lady or gentleman. Those from the country
also accepted. Experience not necessary. In
fact prefer beginners at small salary at first,
say. to begin from $50 90 TO $4,000 per month,
DEPOSIT in bank cash, about 10000 No
Ioan asked no investment required. 1t is a
salaried and permanent position, (strictly
office work.. Our enterprise is strongly en-
dorscd by bankers. Address P. o. Box 433,
Nashville, Tenn. (Mention this paper)
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09
just What's Needed

Exclaims thousands of people who have taken
Hoods Sarsaparilla at this season of the year,
aud who have noted the success of the medi-
cine in giving them relief from that tired feeling
waning appetite and state of extreme eXhaus-
iion after the close confinement of Il long win
ter season, the busy time attendant upou Il
large and pressing business during the spring
months and with vacation time yet some weeks
distant 1t is then that the building-up powers
of Hoods Sarsaparilla are fully appreciated.
It seems perfectly adapted to overcome that
prnstratiou caused by change of season, climate
or life, and while it tones and sustains the sys-
TEN, it purifes and vitalizcs the blood.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09
How's This I

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward fol
any case of Catarrh that can not be cured by
Halls Catarrh Cure.
+. J. CHENEY & co. Props, Toledo. o.
We the undersigned. Lave known F. j.
Cheney for the last Is years, and believe him
perfectly honorable in all bust ness transactions
and financially able to carry out any obliga.
tions made by their firm.
West s. Truax, Wholesale Druggists, Toledo o..
Walding, Kinnan 81 Marvin, Wholesale Drug
gists Toledo, Ohio.
HALLS CatarrhCure is taken internally, acting
directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces Of
the system Price, 75c. per bottle. Sold by al
Druggists. Testimonials free.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09
The Fourth at shannondale


Old Shannondale Springs came out
last Thursday in almost pristine
glory. Independence Day was cele-
brated there by tournament and ball,
and exercises by Co. I, 1st Regt. w.
v. N. c., of this place. An immense
assemblage was present, the weather
suspicious, and the occasion a pleas
ant one.
In the tournament the knights were
addressed by Mr.. William II. Wilson,
who acquitted himself handsomely
Mr.. B. f. Yates was chief marshal.
and performed his duties in an adj
mirable manner. Fourteen knights
were entered for the contest, and of
these the honors were carried off by
I. w. Beans, Knight of Round Hill,
who crowned Miss Halle Eubanks
queen of love and beauty; John
Hurst, Knight of Meadowbrook, who
crowned Miss Agnes Beans first maid
of honor S. CT NJ. Risler, Knight OF
Sunrise, who crowned Miss Ida Mil
Ter second Maid of honor; and Mar
shall Hardesty, Knight of Upton, who
crowned Miss Julia Montague thirc
maid of honor. The coronation ad.
dress was made by 1st Lieutenant
Braxton Davenport,o of Col, 1st Regt
w. V. N. G., in eloquent terms anc
happy manner. The tournament ant
coronation were succeeded by bal
at the Springs Hotel.
Capt, j. NJ. Pyne's company {,
1st Regt. w. V. N. G) was escorted
to the Springs by the Charles Towl
Cornet Band which renderedexcellen
music, both enroute and atthe springs
The company in the afternoon gav'
drill exercises and sham battle OF
the lawn, which were much enjoyed
and highly complimented.
MIR. L. S. Crawford, the genial ant
enterprising landlord at Shannondale
gave his best efforts to make the da.
pleasant one to all, and with hi
able corps of assistants, succeeded tt
an admirable de gree.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09

The Washington Star of a recent
date says: General Will
son has bought of Ella r. Flemming,
for S13, 800, lot 1877 in square 155.
The property fronts 20 feet on the
north side of Q street, between 18th
and 18th streets, and is one of the
row of houses built by L. Franklin
Schneider.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09

In looking over the new Fashion Magazines
at hnnd we find the s'Paris Album of Fashion"
'La Mode de Paris ''The French Dressmak-
err and ''La Mode, published by A. Mcdowell
81 Co., 4 West 18th Street, New York City,
unusually attractive this month. ia Mode dc
Paris" and paris Album or Fashion" cost
$3.50 each for years subscription, or 35 cents
u copy. "The French Dressmaker'' is $500
per annum, or 80 cents n copy; and q La Mode
81 so q year, or 10 cents u copy. If you are
unable to procure either of these Journals from
your newsdealer don't take any substitute, but
apply by mail to Messrs. a, Mcdowell 81 Co.,
4 West 18th Street, New York City
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09

HARpER's MAeAzrNE.-one of the notewor-
the story of A Frontier Fight, by Gen. q. a.
Forsyth. U. s. A., with illustrations by r. F.
Zogbaum-a story to arouse enthusiasm in
even the most blose of mngziuc readers.
House Boating in China and Rome in Africa
are articles of uncommon interest, and for that
matter, so are The New Gar and The Grand
Prix and other Prizes. Add to these the
chapters of two serials, Personal Recollec tiOns
of Joan of Arc and Hearts Insurgeut. and
poems and short stories of the highest rank.
and still the literary treasures of this Number
of the old new Magazine are inadequately
sugaested
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09

In the Circuit Court of jefferson County,
West Virginia
II G. GREEN. Administrator, C. t. a. of
Mary E. Vanvacter, ..-...-........ Plaintiff
AGAINST
FANNIE r. ALLEN, Annie Dunn Rnst. Har-
riett s. Langc. Susan. II. Peavey, Virginia
Vanvacter Della F. Vanvacter. Robt. Van
vacter, Lottic o. Vanvacter, C. Wilbur Van
yacter Hattie p Vanyaeter, Jos. III. Van
vacter, Frederick Lange, Geo. G. Peavey.
w. s. Maltby. Valley Fertilizer Company
md C)lin Bcall. Defendants.
[Ertrcct from Decree of June 11ah, 1881
It is adjudged ordered and decreed, that
this cause be referred to Commissioner Cleon
Moore with instructions to settle the Admin
istration accounts of T. q. Green, Admiuistra-
tor of Mary Z. Vanvaeter. to convene the
creditors of the said Mary e. Vapvactor. to
ascertain the real estate of which she died
seized, its value and annual rental value, to
audit the liens thereon, if any. and ascer-
tain their amounts and priorities, to con-
vene all the creditors of Mary e. Van
vacter.
copy-Teste.
JNO. NJ. DAN TEL.
Clerk.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09

An attempt was made short time
before midnight Monday of last week
to blow up the Chicago Express of
the B. & o. r. r., near the Monoc-
acy river, short distance east of
Wa shington Junction. B. & Q. de-
tectives are investigat ing the matter.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09

Gov. MacCorkle has given the
leader of the coal miner strikers
some very plain talk, and says tur-
bulent demonstrations must cease or
troops will be sent.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09
NOTICE TO CREDITORS.

To. the creditors of Mary q. Tanvac-
ter, decd:
In pursuance of decree of the Circuit
Court of the County of Jefferson, made in n
cause therein pending to subject the real es-
tate of the said Mary Z. Vanvacter to the
payment of her debts, you are required to
present your claims against the estate of the
said Mary E. Vanvacter for adjudication to
Cleon Moore, commissioner, at his Office in the
said county, on or before the 10Th day of Au-
gust, 1895.
Witness, John N. Daniel, Clerk of the said
Court, this 9th day of July, 1895.
July o, 1876. Clerk.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09
New Barber Shop.

The undersigned hereby announces to his
friends and the public that he has opened
Barber Shop in the corner room of Hunters
Row, opposite the courthouse, Charles Town.
/ have the Latest Improved Chairs. and every
thing will be kept neat and clean. Prompt
ness and politeness my motto.
Respectfully,
July 9 ISg5--y JAS. II. THOMPSON.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09

Coco Cola is refreshing medicinal
beverage to be had at the soda foun-
tain of Light & Watson. 1t is pop
ular tonic. Exhilarating, but not
Intoxicating.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09

T HAVE 100 Bales of Prime Hag and 50
i bbIs of Corn which wish TO dispose of
for cash at retail. C. r WALL
TUST in-s5 head good weli-bred stockers-
q For Sale. q r WILL
T CAN ship Veal Calves with lambs every
i few days now. See me- c. T. WALL.
T HAVE two nice fresh cows for sale, good
i mixers u r WALL
WANT to buy I've good Fresh Cows-must
/ be gentle aud good baggers, and Snd 70
Bird calf e r. WALL
April 16. 1895.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09


A JOKE on RoUss.-EX-Co nfeder-
ate private and multi millionaire,
Rouss, sometime our friend and COM
rade. gives vent to his genial humor
by perpetrating jokes at the expense
of his friends. Unlike many who
engage in this practice he rather en-
joys it when lie is made the victim.
He relates the following with much
gusto and JUNCTION:
s'A solicitor came to me for sub
scription for an inebriate asylum,
which it was proposed to erect. He
had proper credentials and talked TO
the point. His list showed suhscrip-
tions from good citizens. ranging in
amount from $40 to $3.50. 1 was
favorably impressed and subscribed
81, 900. / said to the solicitor: /
make my contribution larger than the
others, not only because / approve
of the building of the asylum, but
for the additional reason that wish
to set an example that will induce
liherality on the part of my fellow
citizens. Yes, replied the solicitor
a good example exercises good in
fluence,' and quietly exhibiting u
portion of the subscription list that
had not seen. he showed me that
Mrs. A. L. Stewart had given S25, 900.
1 retired with the best grace that /
could command
Nesg Orleaps Eaily iSta.es, ;
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09

BECKER BROS PROPRIETORs.
Charles Becker. ONCE z1OE. Lombard ST.,
Louis Becker. Baltimore, I'D
The Wines and Brandies for which we so
licit your orders are of our own Production,
and and Emperor 10 any native Wines and Bran
dies offered The iaud Of the Blue Ridge Fruit
and Wine Company embraces the foot bills Of
the Blue Ridge Mountains. on the east bank
OF the Shenandoah River in Jefferson County,
W Va This district fs known 70 contain fle
same soil has a similar climate aud location
as the rell-known ClareDfe aud Champagne
districts of France; (their coil Is Of 4 broken,
chalky formation. coufatuipg nllaTgc percent
age Of Oxide Of Iron that imparfs 10 their
Wines and Brludies the peculiarly that has
given them Q Worldwide rcputafioIi.) So far
nowhere in the world has \ eifniiar location
been discovered Until the locating of the Bine
Ridge Fruit aud Wine Company IN West Vir-
gfnfa- The Blue Mountain Peaches to-day
stand prc-emiuent; nleo the Grapes and In
offering our Wines and Braudies we do not
claim them as Imported. but Of our own pro-
ductiou from the newly dist oTered Fruit Belt
and worthy Of fair compatlsou with the
finest Imported goods.
Special attention e called 10 orr Cognac aud
Brandy as being absoluteiY pure
The Peach Cognae Z made Of the pure jniec
Of mountain peaches Quo seed OF pomace i
usefil and il distilled for medicinal rise
Peach Brandy Is made Of Peach poriaec
all seeds are taken ont before distiiIin2.
The Grape Co2nac Is made Of choice white
vino, and Is distilled FOR medicinal nse
Grape Brandy Is made of pomace.
Sample cases containing i've varieties Of
Wines q bottles eaeh1, and two varieties of
Cognac n bottle each, u IS. % per case OTIS.
Feekages charged extra Gallon 80; Cal
lou KEGS S1-O0s 10 Gallon KEGS 5I-25
Barrels and Half Barrels free.
THE BLUE RIDGE FRUIT & WINE co.
address al orders 70 BECKER BRos., 40 E.
Lombard St. Baltimore, Nd.
Dec 49, 1875
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09

The State Teachers Association
closed its meeting in shepherdstown
Thursday evening, after most in
teresting session of three days.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09

Mr.. and Mrs. Cleveland are now
the proud parents of three of alSind-
Ruth. Esther and little lady who ar
rived at Bazzard's Bay Sunday.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09

Maj. A. W. Mcdonald addressed
rood audience at Berryville, Tues
day, in favor of the free coinage OF
silver.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09
sUPERIoR QUALITY
July :, 1891. Harpcr's E, Ferry cry y. ! u
Garter House Bar.
THE BEST LIOUORS
House and Lot for sale.

For sale. privately. the House and Los be-
longing TO Mrs. John Kahn, situated on Mord-
ington avenue Charles Town, near the prop
erty Of the late e. L. Mitchell. Terms easy.
Apply to JNo. 7. coLSToN,
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09
For Rent.

Goldsmith on Main Street in Charles Town,
known as the " Twin Fronts.' Possession
given September LIST, 1895. VIII rent them
either separately or together.
For Terms apply to
FORREST W. BROWN, Atty,
Charles Town, Jefferson Co., W. Va.
July 9 lS95-tf.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09

The Pullman Palace Car Company
has advanced the wages of its en-
ployes at the Pullman shops 10 per
cent.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09
For Sale, Rent or Ex-
change

Several town properties ia Charles Town,
including desirable store-room on Washing
ton (iain) street. for rent, sale, or will ex-
change for land in the country. Apply to
s. 8. DALGARN.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09

Because of the threatened lynching
of Henry Robinson, colored, con-
fined at BerryvilIe, Va, charged with
criminally assaulting Miss Nails,
Governor o'Ferrall has sent a mill
tary company from Charlottesville to
BerryviIle. The trial of Robinson is
not yet concluded.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09
GENERAL REPAIR SHO
Statesmen Wanted.

To sell NoN-NTCoTINE MIDGET CIGARS.
Samples free. Salary or Commission. Good
side lire. Address, Lands & CO..
Fob. 26. 1895. Shiprensburg. Pa.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09
For Sale.

House and lot on Eagle avenue. Building
new. contains four rooms. with cistern. etc.
VIII be sold low, on reasonable terms. Apply
juno %. 1s95-tf.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09
NOTICE.

Notice is hereby given that will execute
Town, W. Va, on the 10th day of August,
1898.
Given under my hand this 9th day of July,
CLEON MOORE.
July 9, 1S95-4t. Commissioner.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09
To WheeImen.

The riding of bicycles on the pavements Is
forbidden. Wheeimen will take notice
GUSTAV BROWN.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09
Notice.

All parties having insurance in our Agency
and maISfne a change in their residence and
also all property owners having vacant BtIlld-
ings will please advise US promptly. so thst
proper alterations may be made 10 their poll
ciss. WASHINGTON & ALEXANDER
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09
New Harness Shop.

The undersigned has rented the stOre-room
of Mr. Jas. A. Thomas, Washington street.
four doors west of the Bank OF Charles Town,
and will conduct therein n
GENERAL REPAIR SHOP,
Repairing Harness of all kinds in durable
and workmanlilSe manner. at very low prices.
A new collar made ont of an old one II You
only have the rim left. Bring in your work.
and you will be surprised to see how little IL
viii cost for me to put it in good trim for
you. New work made to order in best style.
April o. '95-tf. l.. 4. OSBOURN.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09

ORDER YOUR WINES AND BRANDIEs
DIRECT FROM THE PRODUCER.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09
DIED.
CT Obituary notices exceeding five lines
Ten Gents per line.

SNYDER b., little son of John and Katie
Quick, died June Goth. 1895, aged six years,
months and days.
Jesus said: Suffer little children to come
unto me aud forbid them not, for of such is the
kingdom of heaven,
free Press please copy.1
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09
Commissioners Notice.

Hoods Pills gs '- 81 si.aa MID e &c
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09

nNE large Secondhand Refrigerator for
" sale on reasonable terms. Come aud
sec it. YESTERDAY d CO.,
South Charles ST.. Charles Town, w. Va.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09
The Blue Ridge Fruit
and Wine Company.

BECKER BROS. PRoPRIEToRs.
Charles Becker, ONCE zi9E. Lombard ST.,
Louis Becker. Baltimore, I'D
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09

Prominently in the public eye today.
Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1895-07-09

NKTE have some very cheap Refrigerators
w for sale. Those in need give MS a call.
YESTERDAY 81 co.
South Charles st.. Charles Town, w. Va.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1895-04-12

Maj. John Phelps, of this city, is
announced by authority today as a
Democratic candidate for circuit court
judge at the ensuing election. Maj.
Phelps has frequently presided as
Judge pro tenn and displayed unusual
fitness for the position. He has had
long and successful experience at the
best bar in the district, is fine Judge
of law, has well trained legal mind
and is capable of discharging the du-
ties of the Office in an able and
acceptable manner. II mas been more
than 80 years since Christian county
had the judgeslzip and as fully half
of the busir JSs of the district is trans
acted he1e, it is proper that Christian
shout have the nomination this time.
Unless there should be other local
candidates Maj. Phelps will of course
carry this county without contest
and would need only three more votes
to secure the nomination,
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1895-04-12
WITH INTENT TO PLsAsE.

"Why has Snoozer quit going I'd
church? Is he out with the new min
ister?' Yes; he doesn't like his ser.
mons; he keeps everybody awake 3
Flypps--Do you suppose scribble
gets paid for his jolxesp Flopps- He
certainly must. They show of them
selves that they can't be written for
fun
II wonder" painted the turkey,
CHANGING hastily over ais shoulder at
the pursuing farmer--sI wonder
whether he wants to get ahead of me
or abreast of me.
Mistress---I think you handle those
fine china dishes very carelessly Do
mestic--Don't worry, mum. They are
so light that they wouldn't hurt even
II dropped them on my tees, mum.
HusbaNsd-Oh, give me restl You
remind me of parrot. Wife--Why?
Because l talk so much, I suppose.
Husband-Not at all; because you
never know what you are talking
about
There is no doubt" said Mr.. Dolan.
'about there bein' wan great advan-
tage in bein' born in this country. d"
AN phwat's thot9" ing Tired Mrs.
Dolan. 1T saves yez the proice av a
steamship ticket over"
Philosopher-The only thing that
can make any man rich or poor, per-
fectly happy, is love, and love costs
not penny. Practical Man--True,
but keeping the loved one in clothes
costs like the Old Nick.
Dillaway-Talk about your aristo-
cratic descent! Why my father often
had 10000 men directly under him.
Caraway-Ah! A general Dillaway
We'll, not exactly. Caraway--A
wholesale contractors Dillaway-No;
an aeronaut.
why" asked the philosopher,
why is it that a man the mobiles.
created object--why is it that man
should have SUCH doubts of his ability
to win woman's affection, when he
considers the success in that line of a
pop-eyed, pudding-shaped, pretzel-
tailed pug dog?" But the assembled
listeners answered him not
Clerk-I am to be married shortly.
Couldn't you manage to increase my
salary a little? Employer-Couldn't,
really. But I'll tell you what I'll do,
my boy. I'll shorten your hours dur
ing the first three months so that
you can spend your evenings at home,
and after that I'll lengthen them
again, SO that you will have an ex.
cuse to get away.