Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1895-08-07
THE NUPTIAL KNOT.
STRANGE REASONS COUPLES HAVE
HAD FOR MARRYING.

HAD FOR MARRYING.
Pecuniary Considerations, In Sons Form,
Are the Most Prominent-The Percent
age of Such Marriages That Were Fail
ures Is Not Reported.
In romance and tales of love the hero
and heroine marry for pure heart affec-
tion. Stern papas and scheming man.
mas plan otherwise for their beloved
daughter, but she is invariably obstinate,
and true love always comes in by
head. In real life, however, many and
various are the reasons for tying the
nuptial knot. An ardent philatelist in
serted an advertisement in matri-
monial column, and the wife he wanted,
in addition to being able to boast of the
usual good qualities of womanhood, was
to be in possession of a certain stamp
a description for the guidance of the
matrimonially inclined lady collectors
following rarity Of which rendered
it almost priceless. We do not think
this man would meet his ideal in a
hurry. ~-n.
A gentleman whose hobby was the
collecting of rare specimens of pottery
made violent love to a lady-a matter
of surprise to his friends and the lady's
own people, he being always deemed a
cynical bachelor, holding strict views
concerning the marriage question-who
was the fortunate owner of a lovely
sevres vase. Apparently she was nothing
loath and responded to his wooing fer
vently, finally giving him her hand,
fortune and-the vase. This person re-
verted to his cynical views afterward
and often told his wife it was the vase
he had been in love with and not her.
self.
Cases where money has been left on
condition of the heir or heiress marry
ing chosen person are sufficiently COM
mon, but surely few are so hedged in
with restrictions as the youth who was
to wed his cousin because she was "cross
eyed, redhaired, and had no chin," as
the will read, by which we may under
stand that she of the diminutive chin
was ''heavily moneyed.'
The following is told of two costers
who brought about marriage between
a son and daughter Of the respective
families for unique purpose They
had but one donkey between them, and
though the two costers were quite will
ing to change about, using the animal
in turns, the wives of the hawkers We're
not at all agreeable, and many and furi-
GUS were the quarrels between them.
To mitigate this nuisance and to bring
the two families together the marriage
was effected of the two olive branches,
quite unknown to the mothers-an ar
rangement fraught with satisfactory re-
suits, for the good ladies were on better
terms ever after.
Rather than lose valuable appoint
ment young man went in search of a
wife-the situation he had secured be-
ing only for married men, as one Of
which class he had posed. Therefore it
was essential that he should take unto
himself partner at a moments notice,
figuratively speaking. He had hitherto
experienced no affair Of the heart, and
the finding of q life's partner was not,
under such circumstances, a very simple
task. However, he secured the one thing
needful to insure the retaining of the
position and commenced married life
and new business duties at one and the
same time.
A situation agent declares that he has
reasons to believe this procuration of
spouses is very often effected at the last
moment, purposely to secure coveted
posts whose requirements are for man
and wife. He further AYERS that he is
acquainted with one young fellow who
got married purposely to apply for such
situation, leaving his bride imme-
diately on coming out Of church to make
application for the place.
Few persons would express themselves
in SO matter of fact a fashion as the
farmer who, wooing widow, the own
er of an adjacent farm, told his son that
the lady's niece was just the sort for
him, the girl being possessed of property
III her own right; a double marriage
therefore would enrich the lot. Like an
Obedient son, the lad complied with this
request, and as the farmer rented his
own land through the niece it was
most accommodating arrangement. We
wonder if these marriages were failures.
For an amalgamation Of property and
land they were infinitely successful.
A man, recently united for better, for
tO tho WORTHY xx,l,o hol I1,t
erto ruled over his kitchen, was unmer-
cifully chaffed by his associates, the
lady of his choice being much his senior
and in different ways most unsuitable
to her spouse. His naive reply was to
the effect that it would minimize ex-
penses, because he would have no wages
to pay for culinary labor, as his wife
had agreed to continue her position Of
cook. Her refusal to comply, he declar-
ed, would have resulted in the attach
ment being 'off. "
Most unique was the reason for "com-
mitting matrimony'' as given by city
gentleman. A widow lady had appealed
at a court of justice, and the culprit,
rather than pay the fine imposed upon
him for certain slanderous statements
he had made concerning the fair prose-
cutrix, settled affairs by marrying the
lady. He certainly was possessed of a
GOODNESS below the zero of the proverbial
cucumber to propose marriage when it
must have been obvious to everybody,
the woman i'll particular, what his rea-
sons for so doing were. However, she
like Barkis, was "willin," and wedding
arrangements went on apace So sensa-
tional was this marriage, following i'm
mediately on the lawsuit. that the
couple found themselves the topic of
conversation at every street corner and
considered it essential to their comfort
to leave the country.-London Bits.
A "Genia1" Actor.
I was talking about actors to an actor
the other day, and I happened to say.
regarding certain Thespian now passed
away:
'Ah, genial old Mr.. --p'
"Oh, yes," retorted the actor bitter
~, every genial How he ever got