Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1895-12-13
STORIES or The DAY
Funny side Of LIE at me Capitol - wssh
inrton.

Unrou the map OF the United States
and draw a straight line from Boston to
San Francisco. There is q Democratic
representative in congress from each end
Of the line, which will not cross or lie
south of another Democratic district
The Boston district is represented by
John f. Fitzgerald, who was born in
that city In 1895. The San Francisco
district is represented by James q. Ma
guire, who was also born IN Boston in
1858. These lonely Democrats shook
hands across the continent for the first
time yesterday.
"How did it happenf" asked Mcguire
'I don't know" replied Fitzgerald,
"but l think IL is because God is still
good to the Irish. F"
Representative Harmer Of Pennsylva-
MIA is the father Of the Republican side
Of the house. After carefully looking
over this body" remarked Representa-
tive Steele of Indiana, 81 am convinced
that Solomon in all his glory was not
better equipped with offspring than is
Father Harmer. ="
AhD OOAhOlAaNAO NAhDhH ONCA tbp AOaA
appointees allowed the minority was
more hotly contested and more exciting
than the average election for speaker.
The principal contest was between Isaac
Hill of Ohio and Henry Mohler of Illi-
nois, for the position of assistant SER
geant-at-arms. Ike Hill, who has held
the place for many years, was extremely
worried over his prospects. He predicted
his own defeat, but came out triumphant
by vote of 81 to 48.
"What fool am, " said he. GIVE
been making a mountain out of Moh
ler-Hill. "
Representative Curtis Of Kansas
proudly claims a fair share Of Indian
blood. He won a good seat in the house
rattle, and then courteously surrendered
it to Dingley Of Maine, whose black
eyes, .aquilinenose and dark complex
ion give him an even more pronounced
Indian aspect.
Curtis is part Injuh, said one Of
his colleagues from Kansas, "but he's
not an Injun giver, at any rate.
Rev. Mr. Milburn, chaplain Of the
senate yand Rev. Mr.. Couden, the newly
elected chaplain Of the house, are both
blind.
"If these two ohaplains weren't
blind, said Representative Crowley Of
Texas, "they would have to wear blink
ers. Congress wants its sins prayed for,
but not SEEM"
1.-The only reason why object to
blind chaplains In both houses, said
Senator Lodge, "is that the American
press may think 1t was done intention
ally"
Representative Josiah Patterson Of
Tennessee, who has been making sound
money speeches through the south,
brings back disoouraging reports Of his
experiences in Mississippi. he encoun-
tered Private John Allen Of Tupelo In
joint debate at that place.
'There was good crowd" says Mr..
Patterson, "and gave them a logical,
convincing and absolutely irrefutable
ment in short discourse Of an hour and
half. And then what do you think AL
len did2 He just got up and walked to
the front Of the platform and said:
Friends and fellow citizens, what this
man says is all bosh. l will demoiish
him with a single question.
"Then no turned on me like tiger,
his eyeballs glaring, and his forefnger
shaking under my nose, and shouted:
Mr.. Patterson, / want you to tell this
intelligent audience, without the slight
est attempt at evasion, whether il is or
is not true that an English duke wAs re-
Gently paid in New York city the sam
Of $15, 900, 900 in gold as bribe to in
duce him to marry an American heir
essi'
'Then that set up a yell which you
could hear FIVE miles of, and they shout
ed: You've got him, john Stick to
him Don't let him throw you OF,
John. He can't answer it'll You've set
tied him.
II took the next train north
II say" said Felix McOloskey. I'd
you know why the senators, when they
heard there was new red carpet in the
house, got a new green one for their
chamber?'
"No," replied Henry CLAY Sulzet.
"You know more about these fellows
here than l do, Felix Why was itf''
Because the senate is the upper
house, and proposed that even in the
American congress they would do all In
their power to keep the green above the
red. These Republican senators know
how to catch,the nish vote. And Felix
winked and Sulzer nodded wisely.
The only original Felix McClcskey,
whose face almost alone makes the hotel
corridors homelike to wandering Demo
crats familiar with Washington during
the last two Congresses, sat in the Ar
lington the other night retailing stories
Of the period Of 1s49. McCloskey's
stories are far from clerical. As he
talked stranger took notes. McCloskey
now and then casting sidelong glances
at the writer. When At last the latter
went away McCloskey exploded:
That's what I call cheek. To take
notes of my ialk and pat It in paper
without my consent. I"
One Of McCloskey's companions, who
is something Of q WAg, ran after the re-
porter and soon returned laughing.
That's all right BE miHtook you
for DR.. Talmage. that's all 7"
81 Is that soi" said McC Closkey, straight
ening up in his chair and rubbing his
smooth shaven face with q pleased eI-
preston. That's another matter, Of
conrao -