The Van Buren press., 1895-09-07

but it cannot be said that the fort
night preceding the polling day was .
period Of happiness to Cheeseman,
even though Lady Helen ceme down
tocsnvass for him, and her brother
presided at more than half Of his meet.
ings, ON the distihct understanding
that expenses on the most liberal
scale were to be allowed him. There
are few pleasures In the life of the
worlxingmAn, but hcckling is one OF
them, and, TO do him justice, he makes
the most Of IL. 1t was this part OF tho
programme that nearly finished poor
Cheeseman. With diligent cramming
he was able to murmur few coherent
platitudes to the free and independ-
ent" when his noble chairman called
upon him to address the meeting, but
the crosse Examination BY the village
cobbler and his friends, which fol-
lowed, was Q trying ordeal.
OF course, he was returned, though
the majority. dwindled to thousand,
and the other side claimed q moral vic
tory and talked about dissolution.
cheeseman was in ecstasies. not 30
much because he could write NJ. P. after
his name as because Lady Helen al
lowed him to imprint kiss upon her
blooming cheek when the poll was de-
clared. He begged hard for marriage
at once. He said--artful feliow-that
as Lady IIelen's husband, and with her
conjugal support, he felt he could do
anything, even make speech. But
Lady Helen was adamant She pointed
out, very justly, that to be an NJ. ?.
was not TO be distinguished. Snooks
and Brooks were NJ. P.'s., one was
retired linen draper and the other q
ehopkeeper, not even retired. There
were six hundred and seventy MEM
bers, she reminded him. and the names
of most were never heard of, except in
i, division list, No, he must become
rfoninent though she did not stipu-.
iste for place in the government.
There were no vacancies just then, and,
besides, she knew, as every body knew,
that the front bench was overloaded
with mediocritie& So Cheeseman,
though scroo the hrst ditch, found
there were eyen sitter ones before HIM
He was . model member He had
read somewhere that the first step to
parliamentary success was thorough
Of the forms of the house.
He carried the standing orders about
with him and tried to understand them.
That, of course, was impossible, but
/ by sitting for leiGht hours . day in his
place and doing his best to follow
Everything, he learned q good deal, for
1t was an Irish session. He had scarce
ly been in the house month when he
actually put question down on the
paper, and when he read in the Times
next day that the minister OF agricul-
ture, in answer to Mr.. Cheeseman, said
that there was notthe slightest founda-
ton for the statement in the honorable
members -question-it alluded to an
alleged outbreak of SWINE fever among
the pigs OF his constituency felt
that he was on the high road to leRis-
lative honors. AK zyuszsssa . =.
Lady Helen, however, was severely
practical. She remarked, with a knowl-
edge OF things that hwed him, that ask
fling question only meant handing =
paper TO the clerk ono day, sndson am
other, w hen the speaker called your
name saying; ~ beg to ask the right
honorable gentleman, the secretary OF
state FOR the sealing wax department.,
question No. $780," and Of course that
was not to be denied. Lady Helen in
formed him, too (she was a young lady
with . remarkable fund Of informa-
tionl, that though men had attained
parliamentary distinction in q great
variety of ways, it was not on record
that reputation had ever been made,
except perhaps for that of a bore. by
putting questions to ministers. That
decided Cheesemaus he would make his
maiden speech. 49, s
There was certain bill down foi
second reading "a t"Bill for Giving
Every body Everything" let us call it
the bili'thstBbove all other bills wal
| the bill of the session. He would speal
on that. Cheescman told himself. He
also told Lady Helen, and when he had
done SO he felt that half the ordeal
was over, for there could be no going
back now. Lady Helen applauded hil
determination and asked him on whaa
night he proposed to speak.
'On the fourth" Cheeseman repliedi
"the division would certainly be taker
them he added with esoteric air. a
''Of course, said his fiancee, whs
probably knewmore about the niattel
than he did. but would he speal
early or late? 1t was no good speak
ing during the dinner hour, with only
the reporters to hear him. !"
S"Oh, between ter and eleven o'cl ock,
said Cheeseman, airily. &
But" Lady Helen began, and ther
ahe stopped. s"That will do nicely
she added, but mind you are not shn'
OUT She was going to tell him what
seemingly, he did not know, that tht
fourth night would bethe very dressiest
of full dress debates, that big gum
| would be booming nearly all the. even
Ing and that -popguns would stand I
very poor chance of being heard.
4 Even il he does make fool of him
self he will be talked about, was Lady
Helen's reflection, s'and that is better
than nothing at ALL" f
So Chceseman, and especially Cheese
mans secretary, went to work. The
secretary was man of resource. Ht
knew that members Of parliament
never read newspapers. SO he artfully
extracted the most pithy passages
which would serve his chiefs case
from the numberless articles on the
bill. and pieced them together, max
ing very presentable speech indeed.
Then his real labor began. Cheese
man was to speak a quarter Of an
Ii. IA. n chorfo,