Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1895-04-05
A TRUTH SEEKER.

He was seeker after truth, and rs
he shivered up the snowy stairway in
which the wind was blowing blindly
there was look of worried anxiety in
his face. He knocked at the door of the
slate writing medium, and after wait
| ing for a moment in an anteroom was
ushered into the presence.
II DESIRE" said the seeker after
truth, Ito speak with Philip Augustus
Of France, or Frederick Barbarossa Of
Germany, or Richard of the Lion Heart.
They are now in the spirit world and
have been for 700 years, more or less
can't just recall their numbers 7"
The medium went through the usual
form required by the spirits in such
cases and said:
81 find that the gentlemen you want
are, all talking now, but there is
young man at Richards instrument
who says he would like to communicate
with you.
"All right said the seeker after
truth, maybe he will do. There is a
little matter want explained, and he
can do it as we'll as anybody. What
want to know is how on earth the peo-
pie got along in the days of sheet iron
armor when the snow and the cold
winds came. :"
Then there was scratching on the
slate, and the medium handed it over to
the truth seeker. It read:
"Goodi That's just what I want to
tell you. My name is Ichabod Potts I
lived on earth in the twelfth century
and was with Richard the Lion Hearted
and Frederick Barbarossa and Philip Au-
gustus in the crusade that lasted from
1889 to 1892. and I'm the man you
crusade that history has botched up. In
the first place, we called Richard Our
Dick. and Frederick, Reddy, and Philip
oh, we called him several uncompli-
mentary things Do you want the story?
Let me know at once how many words -
LET her go" said the truth seeker as
he looked over the slate and arranged
with the medium for the use of the line
all day
WELL" began the slate, ''as said,
l am Ichabod Potts. yeoman. I left
London in 1883, or such matter, to go
to Jerusalem with Our Dick. The boys
always called him that just before
war Several thousand of us pulled out
and marched across country i'll the fall
and got down into southern France for
the winter, and by good luck got through
that winter without misfortune. Then
we fiddled around France and Italy and
Germany, drumming up crowd, when
the fall of 1889 found us over in Aus
tria, with lot of Dagcs. Dick got gay
one day and ordered a lot of the Eye
Italian armor-a job lot, with automatic
clasps and lot of duplex levers and
swivels that he was mighty proud Of.
He kept us drilling in those old base
burners all fall, and Reddy-him they
call Frederick Barbs.rossa in the book
looked on mighty jealous, for his men
only had one dog chain armor that
didn't clank nor glitter, nor nothing.
Its only advantage was it was comfort
able. Well, to make long story of
magazine length, the winter of 1889
came on-you remember of course the
sold winter-but of course you don't.
Well, it was fearfully cold-rained all
December and took the stove polish off
them armors and rusted 'em up some.
And then OH the 9Th of January there
was the worst blizzard on the 25 years
record of the University of Vienna. The
hinges of them automatics were wet
and rusty, and. by Johnnie, when we
got up the morning of the 9th, we had
to thaw 'em out to get 'em on. 1t kept
getting colder and colder, and at 10
O'Clock Thursday morning it began to
snow. Say, but it did blow and snow!
Dick, he had some tin ear muffs and
didn't care cent for the cold, so he Or
dered the boys out for dress parade.
''It was awful The snow drifted into
the crevices of their breastplates and
leg guards and iron shoes till every man
was a walking snow blockade. But
Dick wanted to make the Dutch dog
chain armor look sick, wanted to show
Reddy that his job lot of armor was
good for all kinds of weather, sort of
general purpose armor, and he put us
through the Knights Templars' drill.
and the fire drill, and the K of p, and
the Sicilian circle, and the cheat or
swing, and the ring around the rosy
and all the rest of it. But / saw old
Reddy, who was looking OH, wink the
other eye, and one of his head men rode
off to our camp. say noticed this at
the time, but | didn't think Of it until
after.
"Well, the rime frost was a-gathering
OH their breastplates and arm covers
and sheet iron helmets and hauberks Of
our'n an inch deep, and the thermome-
ter was getting down deeper and deeper
in the tube. When we broke ranks and
went back, you could see the steam
come up from under them iron breast
plates and through the bars in our
yisors like the steam comes out OF the
manhole of sewer on q cold morning.
1t was awful. The snow had drifted
through the slashes in our boots, and
We had to empty 'em out before the
track was open. !"
The slate was read and erased. and
the pencil began again:
was puliIuS through AL eAtrd ueSE
cut going back to camp when 1 spies
lady who had ON one Of the new high
hats they were wearing that winter.
Old Dick, he was going on ahead 81
me, and saw him bracing up to make
killing He felt hurriedly all owe. his
armor to see that it wasn't wrinLled
nor unbuckled any place-he was such
p skeezicks among the women that way
land as she went by he fi1pped his
hand up to his iron helmet that was
covered with an inch of frost, and as
he started to salute her the hand didn't
come Froze fast! And the lady, she
huns as she passes, where Did You
Get That HAITI | thought the Lion
Heart would just burst his hFeastplate,
he was that mad. But he pretended