The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1895-07-05
WISE AND OTHERWISE


- -,
More are overcome by drink than
by the eat.
Old age is the twilight of eternity
Baronne d'Huart
Stick to your fannels these days II
you Ike a Turkish bath.
A pessimist is a man with near
sighted soul.-New York Press
Trifes make perfection, and perfec-
ton is no trifle. Michael Angelo.
We can finish nothing in this life;
but we may make a beginning and be-
Queath a notable eXample.-Smiles.
Train up hired girl in the way
she should 60 and the first thing Won
know she Will go.--Rockland Tribune.
A St Louis man set a camera to
take burglar, but by some chance
the burglar took the camera.--Yonk-
ors Statesman.
he was a wise man who was
grateful there were so many things he
could do without Goodness with
cortentment is great gain"
Father-My son. no man ever ac-
complshed much who talked at his
work? Son-How about a lawyer,
dad?-Detroit Free Press.
Learning maketh young men tenn
pela;e, is the comfort of old age,
standing for wealth with poverty, and
serving as an ornament to riches
Cicero.
When er man talks er tremenjus
sight bout whut a good frien' OBJ
yOur'n he is" said Uncle Eben, "1is-
ten ter i'm, but doan trade hosses wild
i'm"
She kept the gift of the fairy--the
beautiful g!ft-to the end and when
ever her heart touched another she
found the heart of friend.-M e.
Sangster.
One of the sweetest traits of the
good housewife is that she always be-
leves she can stretch carpet better
than her husband can.-Clevel
Plain Dealer.
Didn't that wax figure of the Gear
lying In state look natural?" Yes;
very life-like. Why, it just looked
like a live man lying there deadw-
Norristown Herald.
'Mein fraulein. l am over head and
ears in love with you" Really! But
my cousin has told me the same
thing" yes; but my ears are longer
than nhis"-Dorjbarbier.
"How's buslnoss?" asked the hot
tamale man of the fruit vender with
the push-cart. "Oh, I'm running be-
hind" replied the vender. as he trot-
ted on."-Yonkers Statesman.
q
said Uncle Eben, "orter be kyahful
how he handles his own weapons. Hit
am pow'ful hah-d ter sympathize wifi
er bee dat's stung by its own stinger."
Gambetta once offered a prefecture,
with a salary of six thousand francs,
to an incorrigible Bohemian, who,
however, declined with thanks, saying:
Il can make more than that by bor-
rowing"
Mr.. Kansas-Yes, sir; whole pas
senger train was held up while cross
ing the Missouri River the other day.
Lord Blazonberry-Ah, by the bridge,
suppose? Was that considered re-
markable?-Brooklyn Life.
Aunt Ann-Do you mean to tell me
that them Hii1ies actcoally served
S4ui CT puilNH llltll SdlltA IlOW
wicked. Maud Edith (who sampled
some Of the punch)-Not wicked.
aunty. merely weak.-Cincinnati Tri-
bune.
Mr.. Flushley-Did you know that
Jazblin beats his wife almost every
night in the week? Mrs. Flushley
No; does he? Oh, the monster! Mr..
Flushley-Oh, don't know about that;
you see, he plays a much better game
than she does.-RoXbury (Mass) Ga
zette.
Did ye ever hear of those priests
in India" said Ragged Reginald, the
tramp, that stick needles through
their cheeks an burns their skin jes'
fur fun?" That amt nothin," re-
Piled Cadging Clarence; II know a
man that tuck bath every day cause
he said he liked itr-Detroit Tribune.
Helen" said Mr.. Whykins, whats
the difference between a woman and
an umbrella ?" "The difference" she
answered serenely, lis that man isn't
afraid to take an umbrella with him
wherever he goes, and that he dosnt
try to conceal the fact that it's above
him when a real emergency arrives.
That's the principal difference, Henry"
Washington Star.
NOTED REALITIES.