The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-03-16
OUGHT TO BE A JURYMAN.
An Astounding Example OF Blissful IL
norance Furnished by Susquehanna

UUUlI IU DE- JUNIMhNs
An Astounding Example OF Blissfnl Is.
norance Furnished by Susquehanna
County.
II was recently a witness and took
part in a conversation which. in this
enlightened age not only dumbfounded
me but without discount showed ig-
norance in a malignant FORM" said an
old acquaintance to Tribune reporter
at the Valley House yesterday
1T had special bearing on the recent
eclipse and happened in a small town
in Susquehanna county, l was in a
store there where they sold everything
from Goldfish to pongee silk, when the
person with a paucity of ideas entered.
He had u crock of butter and his son
a large basket of eggs They wore the
regulation garb of the Pennsylvania
farmer. The proprietor with several
others, was discussing the eclipse of
the night previous. when Jake, as he
was called. came near.
Eclipse? What's an clipse?'
why" said one of the party, the
earth comes between the sun and the
moon and casts its shadow on the moon
so 1t gives no light"
You can't fool me-" said Jake; "how
kin they tell bout such things? l
don't believe there's no such word"
There certainly is,' said the pro-
prietor. "and we all saw 1t last night"
How'd you know bout it?' asked
Jake.
Every paper in the country gave the
information-told the hour and min
ute 1t would start and when the moon
would be entirely eclipsed and also at
what time II would end" said one.
Yes. and every almanac had the same
thing, just as they tell of the moons
phases, the tides, the hour of sunrise
and sunset and all such Information,
and they are right in every case" VEN
tured to remark.
Moons phases. tides n sunrise n
sunset?" said Jake. What be they?"
"A few of the peculiar phenomenas
of nature which science has solved" |
replied.
What's science?" he asked.
Science" / replied, "is the immedi-
ate result of a saturated solution of
gray matter of the brain judiciously
applied upon phenomena and matters in
general with the purpose Of ascertain
ing the ultimatum'
Wall / swash, fenomener an solu-
tion; you are tryin to make fun of me
with all your highfalutin dictionary
words. but you can't do it,
Now" said | you are entirely mis-
taken when you Imagine that l am
certainly not trying to ridicule you.
but on the other hand. supposed you
were trying to make game of me. You
see the eclipse is an important event
to astronomers. They are enabled by
observations to further enlightenment
and sometimes when the sun is eclipsed
men go to the uttermost parts of the
earth where they can get a better view
of 1t. The eclipse is one proof that the
earth Is round, for its shadow on the
moon shows the arc of a circular body"
THE earth roundr' Jake said incred-
uously. mo stree; II can't be. Its
f'atter'n a pancake; why how could 1t
stand?"
tried In vain to explain how gravity
kept things going and Of the earth's
daily revolution and annual trip around
the sun-even secured an almanac and
showed him wood cut giving the entire
matter. and as final clincher, told him
that I had been around the world and
knew 1t was round like baseball
This seemed to please him but he said:
you foller the snake creek road from
here to Blnghamton and she's fiat"
This was reasonably true and was
forced to admit 1t.
Now, It is 90, OOO, 900 of miles from the
earth to the moon, and the recent tele
scopes of great power bring the moon
apparently within thirty miles of the
earth" said !.
How do you know It's so many miles,
and don't believe no man can see thr-
ty miles Here you get up on top of a hill
and you can't see no more'n four miles.
This idea of men havin tellerscopes en-
newfangled -"paraphernalia." l sug-
gested whats that. more solution or
fenonemy?" he said sharply. II don't
care; these fellers go to squintn' round
and say the earth's round an It's so
many miles from here to the moon an
they don't know nothin bout it--them
fellers don't know oats from wheat"
Jake" said a man who had said
nothing up to this point how do you
account for sunrise and sunset and how
can these learned scientists predict over
n year ahead the different. changes
which will occur|
"Well. as to sunrise an sunset them
fellers kept time last year an put 1t
down Just the same this year an so far
as the 'clipse. solutions an your fenon-
emy. they guess at them things an IL
they do hit It all right once In while
faint their fault"