davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1895-12-18
THE STORY OF A JOKE.
two Men Made 1t, but Another Fellow
Got Paid For 1t.

OOG EaAU TOE ACs
The managing editor of now dead
and forgotten newspaper was an admirer
of humor. Without spark Of it in his
own composition, he had learned in his
long newspaper experience that a jU-
dicious injection of wit and fancy made
a paper popular He learned the lesson
earlier than the other editors in the
town, and his was the first paper to en-
liven it's pages with bits of humor. The
cold man" recognized his own incapac-
ity in the matter of jokes. He knew that
thousands laughed at things that SEEM
ed foolish and flat to him. When he
started using humorous matter, he hired
a young man to supervise the prepare
ton and publication of the stuff. Know
ing absolutely nothing about jokes and
jokers, he employed man who had
made reputation among other people
by his work on an eastern funny paper.
The young man had brilliant idea.
He offered reward of So. so for every
original joke brought in by members Of
the staff. The "old man" backed him
up-nothing was too expensive if it sold
papers. The result of the prize offer was
a remarkable outpouring Of alleged wit.
One man caught the fever the first day.
Timidly he went to the professional
humorist.
"Do you buy jokes here?' he asked
The humorist took the proffered pa
per from the new man. hand and read
it. eyes," he said, and handed back the
paper.
The newcomer retired crestfallen.
Immediately following this passage at
arms Frank Walsh, the best hearted fell
low in the Office, scrubbed few lines on
sheet of paper and handed it to the
professional humorist. Without word
the latter wrote out an order Oh the
cashier for So. so. The other members
of the staff wondered at the occurrence,
and watched the paper for the appear"
ance of the joke. 1t was not published,
and after few days the boys began to
ask about the witticism the editor had
paid for and did not use. Finally Walsh
told them what it was Here it is:
"Young Man (handing paper to edi-
tor)-Do you buy jokes here?
editor (returning paper)-We do.
Chicago Chronicle.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1895-12-18
Herald.
REORGANIZATION.

How mankind defers from day to
day the best it can do and the most
beautiful things it can enjoy, without
thinking that every day may be the last
one and that lost time is lost eternity
Max Muller.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1895-12-18
Abraham Lincoln's Peach.

A young lady sends to the Chicago
Tribune a little anecdote of Abraham
Lincoln. She says that a good many
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1895-10-25
p. LORiLLARD COMPANY.

ST. Louis. No, sept. IS, 1898.
GENTLEMEN;
after examining an the leading makes on
t,-,,..e,.-i... f,,l fI. ruarlet. We selected the
.aTrfEfAgI "a. enc best, and after using
f. several months are more than JuStined IN
the wisdom of our selection. Its visible
writing and elegant work. heavy manure i''-
i-,.- .,-,,,..- and many other qualities COM
bin,. 10 ul., ss IL O. very satisfactory machine
fr.l,-,f Yours truly.
Signed JUN A. -4--.'-'-
COPP g. DEVORE,
General Agents.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1895-10-25

If YOU have tried others and failed to
get glasses to suit your eyes, consult
and have your eyes examined free by
Prof. Shelf, the Optician, lilo Main
street
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1895-10-25

All is not serene beneath the surface
in Island ferry matters.
In fact, quite a storm has been brew
ing for several days past and last nigh1
it broke, and there was some very point
ed talk at the meeting which assembled
in the vacant room in the Myers block.
Several gentlemen expressed them
selves as being very much disguised
with Jhe turn affairs have taken, and
when the meeting adjourned il appear
ed thai ulass something deduile is
uone wIchin the next few days the
whole thing would so 20 pos.
The trouble is primarily due to the
lack Of interest on the part OF a large
number of Island people, but the inn
mediate cause Of the present situation
is @ refusal on The part OF The sUbscrib-
ers to the fund for the liquidation OF
the debts OF the Company TO produce
the cash until there is an assurance
that the total contributions viii equal
the gross amount of the debt. This de-
termination upon the part Of subscrib-
ers is looked upon by the end0rsers Of
the thirty notes of S100 each as an in
Sinuaion ,LaJ they might lake snap
Judgment and perhaps tie up or order
tine sale Of the boat after Uhe $l,4OO now
subscribed outside of the nCJes had been
collected and expended in liquidation
Of floating debts and Over-check in
bank.
To make the situation clearer, the
facts may be briefly reviewed. Three
thousand dollars of the COmpany's debt
Is secured by thirty notes for 500, en-
dorsed by thirty individuals, who thus
became responsible for the ultimate
payment OF the paper. The other in
debtedness, consisting Of an Oyer-check
I'm bank and some unpaid bills, aggre-
eating something like fifteen hundred
dollars. is unsecured, except as q debt
on the Company Ii was at first pro-
posed 10 raise the gross sum Of $4,000,
take up the notes, pay Off the floating
debt and Over-check, and use the re-
mainder-abOut SOON making al
ter tons and repairs TO the boat. Work.
inc upon this idea. about $1,000 or so
was subscribed. 81 600, or sum ap-
Dvovimating that amount, being by en-
lDN-eIr OF LLlE nN.1o. Al t|AN 'tAtt-.7 --i-
parent that the $4,000 could not be rails
ed i'm that way. it was next proposed 10
raise $4,000 outside of the $4,000 of
notes. the endorsers upon which would
carry them along for an indefinite time
in the hope that the ferry might event.
ually make money and pay them on,
and if it did not turn out that way, thai
the endorsers would ultimately pay the
paper. as they would be bound to do.
With this understanding, subscripti
previously made by endorsers on the
notes were set aside. which lett about
81 400 of subscriptions, and made a
total. counting in the $4,000 Of notes, OF
81 400 This left about $500 10 be raised
to make up the full sum Of $4,000, which
n was thought would be made mp IN
part by the supper to be given by the
ladies and partly by additional sub
scriptiOns.
The matter stood thus at the last
meeting. when a committe of two was
aDDoin-ed to collect the subscriptions,
meaning thereby all subscriptions out
side the endorsers on the notes. Inls
commi--ee went to- work. but early ran
eoairsf q snag. subscribers refusing 10
Geo.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1895-10-25
ARRIVALS AT THE HOTELS.
Some of Those From Out OF Town Who
are Now IN Wheeling.

Some of Those From Out or Iown VINO
are Now IN Wheeling.
McLure-G. w. Crawford, Emlenton
Pa: c. K. LOOMS, gainesville, o.; D.
L. ODonnell Warren, Pa.
St. Charles-J. R. c. Irwin. Bolton,
w. Va: David c. Ellis, Cambridge, Pa;
John B. Conoway, Fairmont, w. Va;
w. NJ. Miller and family, Warren, Pa;
w. e. Henderson,, 0. r. r. r.; James
Schunghnessey and wife, Manning
ton. W. Va.
Windsor-Fred S. Rich, Parkersburg'
w. vac Thistle, Sistersville, w. va;
Amos n. Prichard, Warrington, w.
Va: II. 0. Patch, Washington, Pa.
Behler-S. z. McDonough, Fairmont,
w. va; Joseph Snakard Warrington,
W. Va; G. P. Schmidt, Henry Koch,
East Liverpool, O.; J. NJ. Curry and
Mrs. Brown. Sistersville; J. S. William
son. Washington, Pa; S. M. valley
Sistersville, W. Va; c. NJ. Coyne'
Washington, Pa; M. d. Sheridan, Man
Stamm-S. Watson, C. F. Newton,
Joseph Hamilton, Washington, ia;
los SAMPLE. Coon Island, Pa; ?. Il.
willard. Cameron; Chas. Croft, Mid
wav. G. o. WOODBURY., w. w. Stidger,
Noundsville: Mrs Snodgrass, New
Nartinsville. W. Va; S. c. Douglas
Pbilippi. w. Va; F. S. Lowry. Man
nington: J. W. Johnson, Amos, W: va
! B. Kuhn, Pennington, w. va; II: -
Harvey. Wellsburg; c. W. McCormick'
Buckhannon; T. H. Leayis, Butler ID
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1895-10-25
TWO ON CRONTFS.

Wills new 1.-TWO Old Cronies' gave
a pleasant performance to a large audi
ence at the Grand Opera House last
night. The comedy has been re-writ-
ton and improved on until everything
is bright and new except the title. The
company is headed by John B. Wills,
an exceptionally clever comedian, who
is a whole show by himself The sup
port, with one or two exceptions, is very
good, while the spec.alties OF some of
the various members Of the company
were received with rounds Of applause.
The performance will be repeated for
the remainder of the week, and the out
look is good for large audiences.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1895-10-25
ABOUT PEOPLE.
Daily Chronicle of the Movements of Indi
viduaIs.

ElduhiS.
Mrs. Kate Goldrick, from Kittanning,
Pa. is visiting friends on the South
Side.
Mrs. VIII Delaplain, Of Graysville,
Ohio, passed through the city, yesterday,
en- route for Charleston, where she will
join her husband, who has been there
several days She will be the guest OF
Governor and Mrs. w. A MacCOrkle.
Joseph w. Gallaher, one Of Mounds
ville's most prominent merchants, is a
late arrival at the Mcclure.
Mrs w. A. Delaplaine, Of Woodstield,
O., formerly OF this city, is at the Wind
sor.
d. Abersold, a Proctor lumber deal
er, is in the city on business.
J. P. Spriggs, a business man from
Woodsfleld, o., is registered at the
Windsor.
T. A. Paulscraft, advance agent for
OHooligan's Masquerade, is a Behler
guest.
W. A. Brast, proprietor Of the Brast
House, New Martinsville, is a Behler
guest.
Mrs. Henry Eichenberg, accompanied
by her daughter, Anna, and son, Oscar,
Of McCollooh street, are visiting rela-
t.yes in Quaker City.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1895-10-25
PlTTSBURG. PA.

OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES FOR BLANK
House Leases, Oil LeaSes, For ReAS
Cardg. For Sale Cards. and Rooms Tor
Rent Cards. Can at Register Office
FOR SALE-OIL LEASES OF ALL
kinds, ar Register Office. lyon
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1895-10-25
5 HING ON ROUGH WATER.
The Island Ferry Situation Not Such
as toCausa Happiness TO Its Friends.

Subscribers to the Fund Refuse to
Pay Until There is an Absolute
Assurance of Enough Money to
Pay All Debts, Which Determine
ton Causes Pointed Talk-An-
other Meeting Last Night - Ad-
jOWned Until Tuesday.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1895-10-25
4 BTAUTIFu1 HOME FOR SALE.

The residence Of the late Lewis Jones. on
North York street, Island, viii be sold at
public auction an Saturday, October 10th
IT 10 O'Clock "a. m at the front door of the
Court House. This Is one Of the best resi-
dences in the city, Is situated on the highest
ground on the Island. has all the modern
improvements. beautiful grounds. etc. 1t
will be "A great opportunity to purchase "a
handsome home ut "A bargain.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1895-10-25

- - sH0Es-L0cKEs.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1895-10-25
OIL NEAR BELLAIRE.

Bellaire people have reason to con-
graduate themselves that oil has been
found within five miles due west OF the
CITY. The drillers on the John sutton
farm are down $50 feet in the Big In
iun sand and have a showing OF about
30 barrels per day. But they Will drill
on to the Berea sand and test that win
this same hole All the territory IN
that section is taken up and the men N
charge will thoroughly test the held.
The find Of oil IS of such character as TO
warrant further development and TO
almost guarantee sure pay to the seek
ers for oil. There has been such delay
i'm putting down this first well on ac-
count of the scarcity Of water, etc, but
the second one VIII go down much
quicker. and at least two other indie
pendent wells are already located
Bellaire Independent.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1895-10-25
A RARE OFFER.

F. w. Banner & Co. are offering secondhand,
seven octave, Stenway Square Piano for two hun
cred dollars nciuling stool All cover This is an Op-
portunity for any one wanting piano.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1895-01-09
Ministers Must Pay.

By reason of the abuse by a large number
of the clergy of the courtesy extended to
them by the Erie Ry., "half fare rates to
preachers" has deservedly received black
eye from that road. To protect itself from
further abuse, instructions have been issued
from the General Passenger Agents Office to
all Agents and Conductors not to sell or re-
ceive clerical orders after March 81 next.
While this is no reflection upon such as have
not abused their privilege, which consisted
of sub-letting their orders, it is the only way
in which the Company can protect itself
from the abuse of those having such loose
ideas of integrity in connection with trans
actions with r. RS, whether as "proxy "
benefciaries or certified half-fare Gospel
"headlights."
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1895-01-09
SHALERSVULE.

Old Mrs. Albright is very sick, but still
there are hopes of her recovery.
Pearl Porter is now able to attend school
once more.
Onr schools are all in full blast again after
4 pleasant vacation of two weeks.
The meetings at the Methodist Church are
being well attended, the house being crowd
I'd Sunday evening, notwithstanding the
darkness, mud and rain. The blind singers
are highly spoken of and are winning many
friends. Six additions to the Church men,
bership are already reported. The meetings
will continue part and perhaps all of this
week.
Don't forget that the third number of the
Lecture Course will be delivered this week
saturday evening, by Rev. w. 7. S. Culp;
Subject, American Knots, Split and I'm
split"
Miss May Morris spent several days with
friends in Alliance recently.
Rev. Fost preached a very excellent SER
mon at the Methodist Church on Sunday
last. PHGBE.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1895-01-09
ATWATER.
THE FIRST CHRISTMAS.

lHE FIRST CHRlSTMAS.
Homes are made by friends. Try the at
mosphere of gracious giving, which means
not only the mere sharing of the bread, but
the sharing of the good and loving thoughts
When He came on earth, so many hun.
dred years ago, as a little child, He came as
d present to us all, the first Christmas gift
When he grew to manhood, and when the
day came that was to show to an unbelievine
world that he would die for it, almost the
last thing he did was to call about him those
whom he loved and who loved him, that they
might break bread together. He sci US the
example of hospitality. And we must no
fear mistakes, for when Christ sat down Il
the table, there was Judas also. How much
it meant to us all-that first Christmas gift
A little child that lay in the arms of it
mother and looked to it's mother for helI
and care. Somewhere there is little chile
this beautiful Christmas day who is looking
TO you and to me for care and pleasure
Happy women have their own, but the
women who have none should look out int
that she can help, to give to it merry anC
a happy Christmas.
All glory be to God on high.
And on the earth be peace;
Good will henceforth from henVen to men.
Begin and never cease.
To how many of US has that verse com
when we were little children? to you? Il
your neighbor? to her neighbor ? as it did il
the Christmas of long ago.
A Happy New Year to all.
1t seems that Winter has commenced il
earnest.
Tom Bath and wife, of Rootstown, spen
New Years with her parents, Mr.. and Mrs
John Hogle.
Orda Heiser was at home Christmas.
Fred Andrie and wife were at H. Nichols
S. E. Nichols and family visited at A
Wireman's, in Edinburgh, New Years day
VIM. Heizer will move his sawmill to I
Douthitt's farm in a few days, to saw on
timber for repairing barn. and will also say
for neighbors who bring in their logs.
T. Douthitt lost fine three years old col
few days ago cause unknown. N.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1895-01-09
CHARLESTOWN.

JAN. Z. A wedding New Years evening
ter Genevra was marriedto Olin Harmon, OF
Ravenna. Rev. Miller performed the cere.
mony. We congratulate this estimable
couple and wish them a prosperous and
happy life.
While some are rejoicing others are mourn.
ing. In the home of Taylor Mowen sickness
and death. Laura, jagged years, died last
Monday, of malarial typhoid fever. Burial
on Wednesday. Owing to the Frustrated
condition of their daughter Retta there will
be no funeral. This family has the deep
sympathy of our community in their afhic-
ton For the past five months some of the
family have been i'll and under the doctors
care. Retta is now very low, and other
members of the family are complaining. II
has been thought that the germs of disease
arose from some impurity, and the Health
Committee, or Trustees, investigated as
thoroughly as they could. They found nc
mould, or anything in cellar, only damp
ness. We were told they had the water an
alyzed and found that pure. There is still a
belief that something is wrong, to create this
malarial typhoid that has Frustrated some
member of the family fornearly five months
The Board of Education met last Saturday
night and hired Grant Noble to teach the
winter term of school in district No. 5.
Our College students return to their re-
spective places this week, to resume work.
A little surprise party was given Miss Edna
Dibble last week. 1t was very pleasant
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1895-01-09
SHALERSVILLE PUBLIC SCHOOLS
ROLL OF HONOR


For the Month Ending Dec. 2l, 1891
Names of those neither absent or tardy.
DISTRICT No 1-P. B. ToMsoN, Teacher.
Enrolment, 20; Perfect, II.
Ralph Jones, Robbie Reynolds, Alfred Heri
tage, George Heritage, Jay Haight, Spray Hine
Hennie Hinman, Ed Rhodes, Pearl Haight
Grace Bonney, Edith Mason.
DIST No. 2-MIss MILDRED SCANLoN, Teacher
Enrolment, 8; Perfect, 3.
George Gallagher, Ruby House, Mary Hoskin
DIST. No. 3-MIss ZELL DANIELS, Teacher.
Enrolment, 13; Perfect. 9.
Elsie Pierce, Emma Teller, Pearl Springer
Ray Pierce, Lizzie Teller, Dora Springer, Ray
Pierce, Ethel Mahan, May Goodell.
DIST. No. 4-MIss NETT1R McINTosH, Teacher
Enrolment, II; Perfect, 5.
Pearl Parker, Goldie Parker, Mary Priebe
Lena Trueb, Rolla Kimes.
DIST. No. 5-MIss SUE HINE, Teacher.
Enrolment, II; Perfect, 3.
Ray Price, Herbert Roosa, Blanche Roosa.
DIST. No. 6-MIss KATE MCCARTHY, Teacher
Enrolment, II; Perfect, I.
Ray Kimes, Gertie Jones, George Severance
Howard Severance, May Pero, Arthur Severance
Mercie Severance.
DIST. No. 7-MR. J. D. COLLINS, Teacher.
Enrolment, 8; Perfect, 3.
Asahel Hawley, May Hawley, Maud Miller.
DIST, No. 8-MIss ANNA AUSTIN, Teacher.
Enrolment, 8; Perfect, 1.
Annie Collins, Leoni Collins, Alfred Scranton
Harry Haven.
DIST. No. 9-MIss MARY ROBERTS, Teacher,
Enrolment, 13; Perfect, 9.
Edna Bosworth, Bessie Corbett, Ida Cook
Blanche Worth, Iva Roosa, Ray Corbett, Watson
Corbett, Charlie Reese Herbert Reed.
P.B. TOMSON, Sup't.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1895-01-09
HIRAM.

The winter term of College commenced
last Tuesday, with an attendance of over
three hundred, and several more yet to be
enrolled. Some who were dissatisfied in
terms passed, tried other Colleges, but have
returned to" Hiram, F." satisfied their change
was of no benefit. One young man named
Allen, left Hiram year ago to try " Drake
University" of DesMoines, Iowa. He has
disappeared from that institution and no
trace of him can be found. 1t is feared that
he has been foully dealt with.
Our neighbors who intended to winter in
Florida, have abandoned their intention on
account of the cold wave that struck that
State, and are now basking in the icy
zephyrs that their less favored neighbors
enjoy.
Prof. Dean is on the sick list, with bron-
| chial trouble. Under the treatment of DR..
Miller he is convalescing.
Mr.. and Mrs. NJ. E. Landfear were the
guests of Mrs. Thayer week before last.
DR.. J. E. Garfield, of Cleveland, was the
guest of Mrs. and Miss Thayer last week
Sunday.
Mrs. Lyons, of Cleveland, who has been
with Mrs. Murray the past season, returned
to her home last week. She will return to
Hiram in the spring. H.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1895-01-09

the next morning, and was sick all week.
Mr.. Campbell. from the far west, is a Wis
itor at Geo. Esworthy's. He stopped off at
Chicago, looking for job of work, and be-
fore he realized the fact the time for which
his ticket was good expired, so he started on,
hoping to strike a job, but found none, and
walked the distance from Chicago to this
place, where he found his former friend.
H. H. Thompson is at work in Windham
this week, and his next town is Freedom.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1895-01-09
1t Lowered His Opinion.

The following story of the late Henry
W. Paine was told to a gathering OF
legal gentlemen the other day:
A young lawyer consulted Mr.. Paine
in regard to the construction of a GER
tain statute, and, after receiving that
gentleman's Interpretation of it, brought
suit, depending upon The legal acumen
of his adviser. The case was tried be-
fore a justice of the Supreme court, and
was decided rgainst Mr.. Paine's pro-
tege.
The latter was astounded, for he had
the most implicit confidence in the con-
struction of the statute given by MIR.
Paine, and, smarting with disappoint-
ment, Immediately sought that gentle
man.
"Mr. Paine" he said. "the Judge ruled
against your Interpretation of the law!"
HE did?" replied Mr.. Paine. "Well,
Judge - is not SO good lawyer as !
supposed. "-Bost0'1 Budget.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1895-01-09
The Ruling Passion.

The ruling passion gets away with
woman every time, says the Boston
Globe. At the theater the other night a
lady appeared suddenly at the box office
and asked the manager for an admis-
sion ticket.
Don't you wish seatP" the ticket
seller asked. 1--WE have a few good
seats in the balcony"
81 haven't time to sit down." said the
lady. my husband is waiting for me
outside. and besides l have seen the
play already"
The ticket seller didn't know what to
say to this.
Il only want to go in for few min
utes," the fair visitor continued. Il
saw lady pass in moment ago, and
she was SO elegantly dressed that want
to have good look at her and see ex-
actly what she had on. That's all"
The manager, to whom this explana-
ton was made, escorted the dress-fas-
cinated woman into the auditorium, and
she went around to a side aisle and
made a thorough observation of what
the ultra fashionable dame "had on"
"Oh. it was perfectly lovely!" she ex-
claimed as she joined her husband at
the door,