Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1895-11-09
One Woman Explains the Whole
Matter Over a Tea Cup.
A STALWART POLICY ADVISED
When to Breach Money Matters
and When to Be Quiet.
EFFECT OF ENCE

dick, you would give me your recipe for
keeping your husbands admiration-you,
" no seem to have your spouse still at your
feet. after whole decade of welded life.
Your opinions might benefit these wives to-
be. and would, at any rate, make interesting
reading, favored they would be with
novelty-most of the advice to brides-elect,
as you we'll know, consisting in directions
for the management of servants, the con-
coctng of Christmas cakes, the manufa ctur-
ing of jellies. with never a word as to the
rot unimportant item of conserving hus-
bands devotion"
1T depends altogether upon the kind of
husband one GETS. remarked Madam Bene-
dick. sapiently. as she slowl y dropped a
lump of sugar into her own tea, '.for l. now.
not only would not desire the admiration of
a narrowminded, effeminate meddlesome
man-even II I were unfortunate enough to
find myself married to him-but wouldn't
know how In the world to go about it to get
1t. In order to do anything, you know, you
must have at least little material where
with to work, and u man of that sort is
merely disagreeable negation."
There is no engaged girl" returned the
scribbling woman, but that is sure her
lover. whatever he may be in reality, is the
personitication of all manly worth. So what
ever you may say would for the present, al
least, apply to every last one of them. Pray
proceed"
well, them" began Madam Benedick, re-
f1ectively, as she stirred her tea with tiny
gold-bowled spoon, granted an average
broad-minded, manly man, who is neither
mean about money nor inclined to snoop in
the kitchen TO usurp my place as chairman
Of the committee on domestic affairs-and all
one has to do to keep him dangling after one
In the years succeeding marriage, as in the
months preceding it, is simply to act after
marriage as one did before marriage.
There's the whole secret in NUTSHELL
That sounds easy" remarked the scrib-
bling woman, taking sip of tea.
ut sounds easy conceded Madam
Benedick, crossing her shiny pointed-toed
feet on the fender, but the trouble is, few
try it, the generally accepted after-mar-
riage theory of conduct being diametrical-
ly opposite to the before-marriage theory;
in the engaged period a woman is on her
best behavior, she is dressy, she is elusive,
she is entertaining-she is making a dis
tinct effort to be nice; after marriage she
is not infrequently on her worst behavior.
toilet methods are no longer carefully con-
cealed. she Is over frank. she is ennuied.
and she doesn't care who knows it. Now
is 1t any wonder that men are sometimes
disenchanted. since the creatures they have
welded are SO different from the creatures
they wooed?
keeping a husband enamored of one"
she went on, like the maintainment of any
other art and science, requires a little eff
dividends of satisfaction in the long run,
why l advocate practicing it.
The Point of View.
Nor is 1t so much of an effort. either"
she explained, "for men are supplemented
souls, and being predisposed by nature to
admire their wives, 1t isn't at all difficult.
by using a little thought, to appear utterly
charming in their eyes,
IN any domestic crisis, this is what I
do; I Immediately sit down and reflect,
Now. were 1 engaged. instead Of married.
how would conduct this affair."? And you
have no idea how viewing the proposition
in this light often alters all my plans Of
action. Take the act of Quarreltng itself
as an instance, and one can exercise as
much choice as to how the campaign is to
be conducted, as my military tactician will
tell you, as in the selection of a winter hat.
For example, to endlessly complain, and
ceaselessly nag, is conjugal and matronly,
while to fight downrightly while one is at
it, but to finally kiss and make up and be
quite done with 1t, is lover-like and maiden
ly, hence always choose the latter method.
Certainly, I sometimes quarrel. Spring
summer and autumn beautiful as they are
would not be one-half as beautiful nor one
half as highly appreciated were there not
touch of winter against which to contrast
them: quarreling is the winter of welded
life, and SO long as spring invariably fol-
lows no harm is done; but whining woman
makes even more than six months arctic
winter of the situation; she makes perpet-
ual frigidity, which is both disagreeable and
monotonouS.
.When quarreling, however, it is we'll to
restrain oneself little. and not say things
that rankle too deeply in the remembrance,
else one is apt to get oneself unpleasantly
associated-a quicksand, of course, to be
avoided.
When to Talk Money.
another way of getting oneself unpleas-
antly associated is to introduce painful top
les, like bills and depleted wardrobes at i'm
proper times. Men are creatures Of moods
and have. as result, their amiable and I'M
amiable periods. The unam:able epoch, &C
cording to my researches, is, with the most
of them, early in the morning. and yet that
is the very time that untactful woman with
her hair quite probably in curl papers) takes
to prefer her monetary claims, thereby get
ting herself confused in his mind with house
rent, gas bills, shabby cloaks and other dis
tasteful things; whereas, had she possessed
her soul in patience till that night after din
Eer, and then stated her wants with rose
in her hair she would quite as fully have
achieved her purpose, and at the same time
have maintained her reputation with him as
a wingless angel l think it Is Scripture,
isn't it, which says there is time and a
place for all things? At all events, the say
ing is true as Scripture
But the best of men sometimes in
clined to interfere in domestic matters" in
terposed the scribbling woman, helping her
self to another chocolate wafer.
Which is largely the fault of their
wives" explained Madam Bepedick, her
self appropriating a wafer. Never give d
man a footnold on that sacred and purely
feminine territory by asking his advice re-
garding anything pertaining to it, or by
lunning to him with calamities arising
from it. If a servant leaves. let her leave.
Go and get another forthwith instead of
wasting time by falling on your husband s
neck with tale of woe an hour long.
Men, by nature, do not willingly mix in do
nestle affairs either; when they do it is a
perverted taste, like that for tobacco and
alcohol. which women ought never to
countenance far less foster.
Conversely, a woman shouldn't pry and
peep into her husbands business, but
should take it for granted that he is pos
SCISSOR of at least as much sense in the
conducting of his downtown life as is she
in her home realm. Conjugal infelcty. in
deed. arises largely, in my opinion, from
each trying to run the other, and from en-
deavoring to keep the ether even in sight.
Now, a woman doesn't want her husband
tagging her around every second, and may
it not be just barely possible that he, too,
could mi ster no fortitude to endure her
absence few minutes at a time once in a
while?"
AIv0ntHUe Of A1,xcnce