Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-09-12

| Sprinkles OF 1Daces
Neber min de comm fros'.
Honey, don't you fear;
When de watahmillion's gone,
De 'simmon will be here.
Washington Star.
Magistrate-Now tell me why zoe
stole that watch? Prisoner-Oh, just
to while away the time.-Philadelphia
Record.
Adolphus- Why, Ethel. are you look
ing at me so intently? Ethel (dreamily)
Il was gazing at vacancy, Dolly
Boston Transcript.
Britisher-Are your humorists here
in America generally read? well, no;
those have met have been most Infer
nally blue."-Toledo Blade.
Don't you find it rather lonely
hereT asked ChOily, with nobody to
talk tor" EYES," she replied. 'and it's
getting worse every minute.'-Wash
ington Star.
Zones seemed to be awfully mad
when / overlook him this morning"
whats the matter, / wonder" "Why,
you see. had the faster horse."-Chi-
cago Tribune.
Old Girl-You say that you would
hustle after man? New Giri-Yes,
certainly. ''Why do such an unseen
ing thing" ITO reduce my weight"
Adams Freeman.
II am very sorry, Karl, you didn't
admire my new frock. Everybody says
it's charming "Your friends, my
dear, pay you compliments; pay your
bills."-Lustige Blaetter.
Nature" said Uncle Eben, "doen'
nebber bestow all her gifts on one indi-
willie. De lightnin' bug ain got no
singer, an de skeeter ain got no
lamp. Washington Star.
Green tea or black tea, MissT in
quired the shopman in sort Of medico
bedside manner II don't think 1t mat
ters," said the girl; ''missus is color
blind.--Fort Worth Gazette.
Blobbs-Your ocean voyage seems to
have improved you. You look stouter-
Slobbs-I lost five pounds, just the
same. Blobbs-Seasick? Slobbs-Ne;
poker.-Philadelphia Record.
| Bingo-I want to change the combi-
nation of that house safe of mine. Safe
| Man-What's the natter Servants
| found out the old NUMBER Bingo-No.
My wife has.-Brooklyn Life.
when first took hold of this place."
said the new proprietor of the grocery
store ON the corner, 1T was doing abb
solutely nothing, and now the business
has doubled" Tribune.
Incredulous Friend-You'll never ac-
complish anything by trying to reach
| the pole" Arctic Explorer-Just
wait till you see me coming down the
mestrctch.-Cleveland Plaindealer.
ut was by bein' too tender-hearted
| that got here" explained the gentle
man behind the bars. "Stid of takin'
all the Teller had left him enough to
hire a lawyer and jury Indian
apolis Journal.
Blabzer-Out in the country where
you live, don't you find 1t ,aggrayating
! having to hurry to catch trains? MAJ
ner-Oh, no! It's hurrying to miss
them that we find agravating.-Rox-
bury Gazette.
Tramp interviewing Herr Butherz
at the front door)-Excuse me-yester-
day you gave me this hat and the light
top coat I am now wearing; couldn't
you let me have walking stick to
match ?-Fremdenblatt.
"Do you think" said Chappie, "that
a gentleman ought to speak to his bar
Der when he meets him on the street,"
"Certainly," said Briggs. at Is about
the only chance he has to get word
Indianapolis Journal.
| Cumso-George Washington is re-
sponsible for the damage to the wheat
crop. Cawker-I thought it was the
Hessian fly which was doing the dam
age. Cumso-It is; but Washington
made the Hessian fiy.-Judge.
"Have your baggage checkedT said
the man with handful of brass disks.
'4If It's all the same to YOU" replied
Familiman, nd prefer to have you put
"a check ON the man who handles the
baggage."-Boston Transcript.
"You are working too hard" said q
policeman to q man who was drilling
hole in a safe at 2 o'clock in the morn
ing. whats that?'" asked the bur-
glar, In a discontinued tone. II say
You need arrest. Boston Globe.
"How did you feel on your fiftieth
birthdayY asked one Of Boston's bach
elors of another who Is beginning to
grow old. "Never happier or friskier
in my life," said he, "but 1 had bad
headache next morning."-Boston Her.
aid.
Miss De Fashion-Mother, what shall
we send to Miss De Style for her we'd
ding present? Mrs. De Fashion-Will
the list be published in the paper?
'No; she says that's vulgar" ''Send
her a plated saltspoon."- York
Weekly.
''Our side is going to spring some un-
looked-for disclosures on you" said a
lawyer to one Of the opposing attor-
neys. We've been expecting some sn-
looked-for disclosures" was the reply,
$50 you'll not take us unawares'-
Pittsburg icle-Telegraph.
Jeremiah" said Mr.. Jingle's wife,
as that gentleman came home some
what late, you don't write me touch
ing apostrophcs rs you used to do"
NO." replied Mr.. Jingle, "and you
didn't use to talk question marks and
exclamation points as you do now
NVo IA cfov,