St. Paul daily globe., 1895-12-23


my back lifting it, and couldn't do JUS
tice to ordinary trunks for the next
fortnight. However, l thought l had
showed proper respect to the dead, and
and the remains would be going on to
Garrison's bridge the next day, and
that he had only brought them down
to New Berlinopolis to have funeral
service, the church In West Tangiers
being closed for repairs in consequence
of the minister's having eloped with
one of the deacon's wives, / wished
that l could go to the funeral myseif
and back Cy up. But my duties were
imperative, and 1 said good-by to Cy.
hoping that he would take some other
train than mine the next time he want
ed to carry any deceased corpses with
him.
paid the station master at New Berlinr
opolis to let him keep the coffin locked
up in the baggage room for the night 4
with the privilege of keeping the key
and going in from time to time to see
body who went to the funeral at New
Berlinopolis, but 1 did hear that Cy, in
spite of his grief, showed his samples
to all the business men in the town
and made some unusually good sales.
'"Fhe next day when my train came
along there was Cy on the platform
with his coffin. He told me that the
funeral had been a brilliant success,
and that he was now going to take the
remains down to Spartansville and set
tie them comfortably in the cemetery
there. I thought to myself that the
man was running the funeral business
into the ground, for one funeral Is all
that any one corpse is entltled 10, acT
cording to my notion. However, 1
didn't wish to interrupt Cy's mournlnS
by any remarks of my own so L just
called the brakeman, and we got the
remains aboard the train. Mhen we
got through, dropping the CONN on one
of my feet and one of the brakeman
hands, and everything was comfort
able again, the brakeman said, II these
here remains is any relation OF yours L
wish for to say nothing, but IL they
amt none of your family's III just re-
mark that whoevers in that coffin
must have been filled up chock full OF
| lead and served him right. don't
! doubt that there have been hfty shot-
guns fired into that corpse, for IL
Weighs four times what any healthy
corpse ought to weigh You see the
! mans thumb was pretty Well smasne9,
| and in the circumstances ne couion
| have been expected TO leel hliiuiS
"At Spartanville Cy, as was told py
| the station master there, wanted to
leave his mother-in-law in the baggage
room for the night with free access 70
her, but the station master 81 W. woHarit har r.
| the hotel A friend of mine who hap
pened to be in the hotel at the time
| told me all about 1t. and he salo ne
| never saw a man so full OF Sfiei as ~
seemed to be when he walked into taae as.t
| after him. ~, ,,o
| he says to the clerk, I should nke 10
! have that coffin placed in my room for
=" What's in it?' asked the clerk.
The remains Of my beloved wire 8
mother said Cy, in a broken sort ol
THAT settles it., said the clerk:
| Sorry to disoblige you, but we can't
| allow no remains in no room IN tne
| house. Well put your good laoy out ill
the woodshed, where sheil pef peraettury p,1eta1S,
: nor yet no undertaker's shop, ana we
don't furnish accommodations inside
the hotel for anybody's remains.
But says Cy, she's all righlt: T. E, % Sae ne
this section, and there's no earthly rea-
| son WHY / shouldn't have her In my
room. She'll give deal less trouple
/ than most of the women you take IN.
This is a hotel for live folks, and not
i for remains. If you don't like our rules
! all You have to do is to leave.
L"Cy stood rejecting for a minute,
and then he leans over ana Whispers 70
] said: oh, very we'll! That affairs the
! case. Considering the character Of
your remains, 1 don't mind letting them
go into your. ROOM And with that ne
calls half a dozen porters, and they
carry Cy's mother-in-law up three
pairs of stairs, and pretty hard work
they must have found it.
| "The next day but one my train got
Il to Spartanville an hour and a half late.
/ You see the accommodation train had
gone off the track just below Spartans-
. | Vile through getting mixed up with a
| pair Of oxen and load OF nay thaI
was trying to cross the track ta; aneaa a, o,l 1l
was clear. A little while before we
were ready to start l saw Cy Trueht
come on to the platform with his coffin
following behind him on a truck. He
and I didn't mind letting him see that
was astonished to find that he hadn't
| buried that coffin yet.
"'What does all this mean, Cy?' says
I; 'ain't you never going to get your
remains comfortably underground
Couldn't bury her at Spartans-
ville,' said Cy. The cemetery was
closed for repairs, so I'm taking her
rangements to have the funeral tomor-
, ROM.
4 never heard of closing a cemetery
for repairs, said L.: What kind of re-
pairs do you mean?
, oh, whitewashing the tombstones.
and moving the grass, and such like
5 says he They won't be able to bury
anybody in that cemetery for a week
, business of mine how they managed
! the Spartansville cemetery, so I SAID
; no more, but the brakeman and got
. the coffin into the baggage car and sat
, on it to rest, for it seemed heavier
than ever.
"'That fellow is playing a game on
you,' said the brakeman.
'How's that? said I.
2 There amt no corpse in that cof-
! fn,' says the brakesman. 1T weighs
weigh, unless it was Barnum's fat
; woman. Then again 1 see that chap
laughing in his sleeve when you and
me were wrestling with that coffin. Ii
he was a mourner he wouldn't run the
! risk Of being caught laughing in pub
" Tt is mighty curious how he keeps
this coffin above ground, says L. 1t
more than a week now since he started
out to bury it, and he's been riding all
over the line ever since
Where's. he going to take what he
calls "the remains to now?' asked the
".Down to Smyrna says I.
There's a pretty long. platform
, there said the brakeman, and if you
! and I were to give that coffin a twist
just as the train strikes the platform,
: we'd probably find out what's in it.
"eThat wouldn't be showing fitting
| respect for the dead says l. That is,
; if there really is a dead woman In the
4 coffin
"Dead woman be hanged! says he.
Il Does Truefit pretend that she's en-
: ebalmed?
I" so he says, says I.
"sWell, then, gimme a screwdriver,
and we'll know the truth about this
J yer affair inside of two minutes, says
| / the brakeman.
sfHe went out and borrowed screw
driver from the engineer and went to
work to unscrew the coffin lid. There
! wasn't as much remains in that coffin
t as there generally is of a man that's
fihlown up with dynamite. 1t was
chook FIJI as far "a nods we eGud sueb Ses s cS
was in the habit of travelling with. We
couldn't quite uuigb understahd # aid h9T f tRe Re
| had nartly unpacked it, and then we
that there gs wfre IN he bos
TOM of the coffin. This hurt my feel
ings. for l saw at once that Cy had put
the lead there just to make trouble for
!. me or any other baggage master
:" what do you say now? says the