The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-11-23
WHAT MRS. GRUNDY SAYS.

That fashionable people may be sure
their evil deeds will find them out
That the act drop did not come down
soon enough on the Newport season.
That there is more cruelty to animals
in the country than in the cities
That funeral eulogies over departed
/ sinners ought to be prohibited by law.
That the calcium light is again
| turned on the habits of good society.
That the affections of women are
blunted to those who only love horses
and dogs.
That surgeons look upon the bicycle
as a great help to their bank account.
That some missionary work in church
choirs is suggested as likely to do good.
That some men as big as Goliath are
in their actions no larger than the ant.
That there seems to be an unusually
large number of Macawbers in Wall
street.
That the number of people in the
fashionable procession who can keep
step is sad
That stories about great people of
today are as silly as those of Mother
Goose.
That the modern agnostic insists
upon proof that the moon is made of
green cDeeSe.
That it is a misfortune not to know
when to keep silent when others want
to talk.
That artificial plants largely .Gke
the place of natural ones in the ''h Be
beautiful"
That no woman ever confided to her
maid who did not live to regret her
garrulity.
That it is great compliment to
horses that people come 5000 miles to
admire them.
That some of the so-ca1led Sunday
night concerts are a disgrace to the
metropolis.
That silk and cloth merchants will
never consent to big sleeves going out
of fashion.
That impure drinking water at sum-
mer resorts is accountable for much
typhoid fever.
That a Chicago woman who enjoyed
Paris says She will never forget those
Parasites
That there would be more money in
circulation if all women who go shop
ping bought.
That supposed harmless firtatlns
between married people frequsGtly
lead to dangerous scandal.
That bargain counter and football
ruShes are almost identical.
That soon the simple. transformations
wedding will be a novelty by contrast.
That social distinction is thought en-
HANGED by having ones portrait
painted.
That it is significant races ceased
when laws against gambling were en-
forced.
That theatre-goers protest against 81
for a play not worth half the money.
That French chefs sniff at the sew
eral women who are teaching US how
to cook.
That the tribulations of the socially
great are multiplying in every direc-
ton.
That one does not need to be an
foot in it.
That men who can, but do not.
vote ought to be treated like the OBJ
stinate canary.
That many agree with Charles Eliot
Norton on the woeful lack of courtesy
in public.
That many shopkeepers who Ike
bad debts have. nearly always, t8sin-
selves to blame.
That there is a suggestive perfume Of
turkey and mince pie in the national
atmosphere.
That fashionable churches are not
the ones where sinners are brought to
repentance.
That a few more years of football,
and those who come after us will be
driveling idiots.
That the modern cook confers a ia
vor by coming home to prepare three
meals day.
That college students who don't go
in for athletics" learn more than those
who do.
That the degree of I'D. d. to many
women is not ecclesiastical, meaning
Dakota divorce.