davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20
Fnoch up n Tree.

A papcr I'm western Nebraska contains
the outline of a story that shOuid DE Slbhs
into undying verse by poet as Bood as
inc author of "Enoch Arden" Some
vcars ago in the town where the paper
Is published there lived man VINO had
a wife and daughter. lie seemed pro-
sperous. and his credit was good FOR any
thing he desired.
one fine starlight night he disappeared,
1aling with him nearly everything that
wasn't nailed down. he had made about
every man in town a creditor, and when
le went away the people betook them
selves into outer darkness for while
and walled and CRASHED their teeth.
The wife and daughter were treated the
same as the rest. They found themselves
destitute. The nend in human form who
had so long OBLIGATED as husband ana
father had left them not dollar. The
lady and her daughter were. or course,
looked coldly upon for awhile, as people
believed them TO be In collision with the
departed. But they were not depressed
by this. They went manfully 10 work
like little heroines I'm play; the mother
did sewing and the daughter did what
over she could get TO do. They prosper
ell as they deserved 10 prosper. The
older heroine In time established mil
llnery }tore. which captured all the
trade. while the younger became princi-
pal Of the schools They had money in
the bank. and could eat ice cream when
ever they wanted to-
The other day seedy tramp called at
The back door of the lady's residence and
asked for a drink and something TO cat
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20

NO." said young Spooner. II wasn't
really mad when your father drove me
from the house. but L viii admit that 1
was put out."-Bos:on Transcript.
take away woman" shouted the or
ator "and what would follow I'VE
would" said man at the back OF the
audience promptly.-Tid
Mab-"You signed your n)te. I remain
your loving jack II Ia 10 money
what would you remain" JacK-'A
bachelor. darling. illustrated Bits.
Weary Watkins-"The doctors say we
oil ght TO eat more cereal food" Hungry
Hggins-"They is too much Of the Sc
rial business about our style of eatin'
already. '-Indianapol;s Journal.
on yacht-Miss Ingenue-'Is here
really a cable in the ocean, Sailor
eyes. num-" Miss Ingenue with con-
viction after studying the man at the
wheeD-"Then that must be the grip
man. brooklyn Life.
Maggie did you hear the door-bel
rlng?' "Yis, num-" well, why don't
you open the door. them" "shure. /
don't know soul who'd call on me at
this time of the day, mum. IT must be
some one 10 see yersilf."-Truth.
Sister-"There, you have the candy all
over your new suit. What will mamma
say?" Tommy-'Well, mamma won't let
me have any fun in these clothes till /
get them spoiled "-Hartford Times.
A beggar stopped a lady on the steps
of n church. kind lady, have you not
a pair Of old shoes to give me?' 'No.
| have not besides. those you are now
wearing seem TO be brand-new." That's
just it, ma'am-they spoil my business"
La Rlforma.
Maud Ito Low Comedan)-"Say. Teddy.
what did the poet mean when he wrote.
Though lost TO sight, to memory deary'
Low Comedian-Wat, Don't you know,
The lines were addressed to a prompter."
Fun.
1t pleases a woman when we say
Her cheek is like the red. red rose,
And yet a man viii turn away
When told the same about his nose.
Spare Moments.
An eccentric citizen OF Philadelphia
was once met by a man who asked him
the way TO the sheriff's office. He re-
sponded: EVERY time you earn five dol
lare spend ten dollars. "-Christian Adj
vocate.
what principles are You going to ad-
vccate in the next town. asked ths
camp aigners private secretary. Il dun
no. Yon get there next there next train
there and find out what their views IL
are.''-W ashington Star.
He-"AIiss Kitty. I've heard It SAID
that a kiss without n moustache Is ike
an egg without salt. Is that so?"
She-"Really. Mr.. Smoothface. / don't
know. can't tell you. Tor IN all my life
I never"
He-"Now. Miss Kittyl"
She--"Ate an egg without kait:-Couic
CutA
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20

..1.,s a grand place." said the white
..with the fine green cypress hedge all
Ara ivy climbin' about the headstones.
And yellow mrytle on every mound,
But II frets me greatly when l do be
ri. here here they'll bring me when
come to die;
Astbore. I long for my own people;
With nv own people 1 fam would lie.
For I'm dreamin' always Of an Irish
church yard.
Where hardly blade OF grass will
c,oses t hy the sea, on a barren hillside:
xViId you'd call IL and drear. | know.
But my old heart aches as DO be thinS-
How far away from II I'm like TO die;
For long 10 rest with my own people,
With ms own people ! yearn to lie."
To-day walked in that little graveyard
And watched them soddIng new-made
,rsrs Who Ionged for the dreary hillside.
Near the endless sough OF the moaning
But il matters naught; for her weird Is
And she rests at last on the heavenly
T., The smile Of God. with her own people.
Where none can part them forevermore
Sarah Frances Ashburton. In Ave Maria.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20
Galveston News Snap Shots.

With many hard-hcaded people sug-
geston Is more effective than not argo'
mcnt.
No one Is educated until he learns how
to read between the lines.
1t sometimes takes a ton OF hay 10
break the camels back.
Some suspicious people overlook their
friends in wild efforts 10 find enemies.
DO not fancy that You are broad-mind-
ed merely because you have no miha
of your own.
Paderswski has had his hair cut ana
some of the bellies refuse outright TO hear
him play.
About the only title an American cares
for Is a deed to land.
Leave man without any burden and he
will touch the ground only In high places
Telling blows-The speeches of the
br1glart.
Many q person has been written up IN
the pictures.
one man humps himself and another
humps his friends.
Stinginess sometimes amounts TO the
most reckless extravagance.
Ordinary argument is little more than
a quarrel.
Patience Is a great reserve force.
Think kindly OF yourself.
There is nothing more frigid than Geld
wave OF the hand
The bachelor Is welded to his IDEAL
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20
A Smart Woman.

While a woman of New Brunswick was
alono In her house recently a tramp
knocked insolently at the door and de-
manded refreshments.
I'm looking for work" he said. land
7 want something TO eat al once, or there
will be some trouble"
II have fed three big, strong fellows
like you to-day and / think that is SUI
lclcnt," she answered.
well. II you don't give me something
I will stay here all day." and the hobo
cooly sat on the stoop.
The LADY got an alarm clock and wound
II up. Then she went into the front
room where her voice could be heard by
the tramp. Causing the alarm TO ring.
she shouted;
"Hello. Central Give me police sta
tion, please"
The tramp was all attention. Then he
heard the following counterfeit CONVEX
satiOn:
as this the police station? Please send
an officer 10 my house at once. There rs
a tramp here who refuses TO leave the
yard. What? Yes, he ought to be in
prison. All right"
The tramp started for the street In
double-quck time.-philadephia Times.
---e-------
Prejmdced Against the Theatre.
Deacon Ironside, (at the hat store.)-
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20

ing on of that secular chill In the worlds
dolage which We call the glacial epoch.
OF the pine which chiefly yielded am
Der not a single specimen now survives
on our earth: and even the great yelling
tomas, which lowered over the rest, nave
dwindled away in our own time TO two
solitary and dying groves In the upiands
of California The trunks themselves are
gone or reduced TO ignite, but the gum
that flowed from them In such strange
abundance is still common object OF
commerce the world over. and familiar
In our mouths as the pipe II holds there
Nay, more; 1t has supplied our language
with a whole group Of words electric,
and electricity" and "electrotype,' and
so forth-..and In all probability mas
given us the sole clue without when we
might never have possessed the tele-
graph and the telephone. or The unknown
wonders Of the next generation.--cornhi'
Magazine.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20
The i.iiicriY iifii

While the bell was being reviewed an
old negro MANA negro who must nave
seen not less than thirty years OF slavery
stood holding his grandson, younsster
OF ten, by the hani. IL was telling the
boy a story OF the bell. Thoxe who
CHANGED 70 listen heard him say:
Look at IT, niger, kaze hit may be
de las chance darn ever come ter yer
ter see H. Look at II so wen yer goes
back tar yer ma you kin tell what der
bell look LAX.
"Ef hit hadn't er been fci dat bell,
does yer know whar dc niggers ny be
now? Right spang. blank inter slavery
uits des lax | tells yer. When Marse
J,lnk,,m say ter de people dat de Niger
got 10 be set free ne SEN out word ter
his overseer for ter turn loose All oo nis-
GERS wat he got and ter ring de Dig
plantation bell. Den de overseer ne caii
,,n dc niggers an tells EN- what Marse
IInkum done for 'en. an say: 'hing oa'
bell" An dey was so glad twei dey bust
Oh 'er ringing. An People say dey couio
hear IL ali round Dc WORT. An dc wn'se
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20

want TO see fun you should see wolf
pack attack a bunch OF horses on the
plains. The horses get together win
their heads forming the hub OF a wheel
and their bodies forming the spCkes'
Then they fight the wolves with their
hind-legs. They fill the air with wolves
and every wolf lands dead wounded, or
III. Horses avoid right as rule. but
will go out of their way to XIII snake.
They jump on the snakes, clubbing their
hoofs and using them like a mallet.
The only other fights they seek are with
unmounted men, whom they frequently
attack, or else with one another; and in
the latter case they resemble buzz-saw
I'm action. all parts going at once"
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20
Derivation Of Electricity

There Is something strange and weird,
when one comes 10 think OF II, III the
familiarity and commences OF SO an
cient a resin, the indurated gum or
mighty forest trees that fourlshed ana
fell ages before man had set foot upon
this planet. How little we think. when
we put the mouthpiece Of the matutinal
pipe to our lips. that the amber which
forms II exuded drop by drop l.Uo,oo
years back from the stems OF great pines
In a world whose very shores and seas
are now forgotten! The plants which
composed those vast woodlands where
the Baltic now stretches have been driv-
en- southwark long since by the slow COM
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20
aorses' Fighting Proclivifies.

The sun had an interesting Item on
Thursday headed 'Hoofs No Match LOT
Horns" said a rich ex-cowboy who Is
stopping ut one Of the Broadway hotels.
ut described fight between horse ana
cow Now. never saw either cows
or buifalos attack a horse so az TO amount
to anything, but want to rise right up
and testify TO the wonderful hghung
powers OF the horse. He Is built for
more ways and kinds OF fighting than
any other product of nature He can
bite. and he can kick out behind. and ne
can strike with his fore-iegs. When he
is IN action he fights all over. II you
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20

It IS not often that doctors pay for the
privilege of examining patient, yet the
ambulance surgeon at the Fitch Hospitai
did so Thursday. lie found IL his duty
10 examine a Polish child who had fallen
from a second-story window. The child
was guarded by a hundred or more COM
panions. and they absolutely refused 10
allow the doctor 10 toucn the apparently
injured child. Then the DOCTOR
reached into his pocket anu
drew out a shining dime. which
no oavo 10 the largest OF the crowd.
THAT accomplished his purpose.-Buffalo
Courier
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20
AI.eycl Head.

The black philosopher OF Tuskegecs
Principal Was hington. has m tde an ins
terssting remark about the Alabama NOR
NAL Institute. at Tusk@gee, ne sayss
1--WE teach our students that II ~ oeuer
for them to spend their time and strenatn
In learning to be carpenters. nai,yme"'
truck gardeners. or contractors' Una" y"
spand n In making stump speeches"
Asan orator. Principal Washington may
NOT rank with Demosthencs OF Cicero;
hut there ia more solid sense IN him than
in lots of white men.-New York sun.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20
Cpiust Accusation.

''Icw dare you accuse me or peins
t1entoman,acY' she said Indignantly.
"Why." replied the young man, VINO
was on his knees. II didn't"
isn't kleptomaniac person VINO
ppcloins things for which he has no pos
sib.e usc?"
eyes"
.Dian't you Just say that had stolen
your heart g"-WashIn yton star.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20
Knnws Now.

A boys fishing pole was fastened to the
root OF a tree on the river Sank ana ne
was sitting In the sun playing with MS
dog. idlinx the time away. as ne hao
been fishing all day and caught notninS'
'.FishingY" inquired Il man. passing
yes" answered the boy.
mice dog you have there; WHATS MS
manner"
Fish"
"vish? That's a queer name for dog.
What do YOU call him that for7
"'Cause he won't bite"
Then the man proceeded on his way
Erie Messenger.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20

have been fitted to the tacks in order 20
make them stand upright ana rehos1
them the more certain to punctuie
pneumatic tire. Every Sunday seveas'
bicyclists have had their machines ~.
abied, as many as eight sucn casu",s'
being noted IN one day. ana they a1. ~.
ing Of organizing vigilance co'""'''e'
New York sun.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20

IL on the qui vive to look at me. . tnsne
which annoys me extremely. there.
fore desire that all shall abstain from
this curiosity when | 20 on Sunday to
hear divine service. Those who desire
TO have a good view OF me can 40 20
every day when take my Walk IN sne
Thicgarten or drive In my carriage.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20
Sunday Observance,

Some strict Connecticut Sabbatar'ans.
who are hound to have morality even TX
they commit a moral crime TO attain IT,
have for several weeks been scattering
tacks early Sunday mornings over tho
new bicycIe path made from Meriden TO
North Haven. with the design OF discour-
aging bicyclsts from breaking the BAD
hath by riding. In many cases washers
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20
Ion inyrtrrnte q Gnsslp.

"I don't see you with Dolly Dawkins
any more. Have you and she mad . quar-
rel?"
ooh. no; but she gossips too much to
sui, me. Everything I told her she i1-
mediately repeated TO Lille Loving. 80 )
hal to give her ,p. abhor Gossips'
Harper's Bazaar
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20
+" Don't Look At Me-

The German Emperor has ono very
singular popularity. He cannot bear 10
have any one look at him when ne n
saying his prayers In church, ana ~
order that the curiosity OF DIS supJe.s'
shall not disturb his religious oeso, ,',"S
he has Issued the following unparalleled
order
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20

Parson, ION his way TO a new call. y
Ny boys, what are you digging for?"
The Boys-A woodchuck. Mister.
Parson, rsmonstatively.)-Iou don't ex-
pect to get him on Sunday?
The Boys-Gt him-g-i-t him? We got
ter. Tn new minister's goin' ter take
dinner with US tcr-day.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20

His Reverence can't take your cab,
Pat ! see your horse has been on his
knees" Pat-"Arrah, yer reverence, be
alsy about that The last place he had
was wild praste, and faith, he had to
keep up simblance OF religion. Sydney
Bulletin.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20

This style suits me pretty well. young
man INhat DO you call it2
Salcsman-Thats Fedora.
Deacon lronside-A Fedora What's the
meaning Of that word?
Salesnar--lts the name OF play, l
think, that Fanny Davenport, the ac-
tress-
Deacon observation-disclosures Show me
some other style!
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20

Mrs. de Styie-"Oh. John. please buy
me that drum ! know you can get It
cheap"
Mr. de style Gracious
what in the world do you want bass
drum for?''
Mrs. de Style--"Why, 1t will make such
n splendid box FOR my theatre hat. -
Advertiser.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20

Two little girls were chatting together
on their way to school. my father is
n General said the one, boastfuiiy. The
other replied. as she munched a bit of
nice cake: Mine is confeotioner" And
the generals daughter darted a look OF
envy at her little ccmpanion-Der Fioh.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20
Can't Hear His Breath.

The late-hour editor of the Pittsburg
Press doesn't need any schooling. 1T Is
always best TO make midnight explana-
tions to your wife through a telephone
She cannot hear your breath."-Bristoi
Courier
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20
2-And this is all that was left.

The good woman looked at him intcntly
and recognized her husband. And now
the really beautiful part OF this story
comes in. Did the lady kill the fatted
calf for the prodiga and bid him wei
como and forget the past? Not to any
Ireat extent.
She called the family dog. n large cTea-
turc, with "A pcnchant for human re-
mains. aud no man ever climbed ii tree
quicker than did the erring husband
Nebraska Journal.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20

yes" said the young physician of
arisIocratic lineage. our family mas a
motto, but / prefer not 10 use st. II is
a little too sugge stlve In my profession"
"What Is it?" Faithful unto DEATH
Indianapolis Journal.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20

Its test as fawther said II was-they's
yomethin' here that's wrong;
The gran'ther clock Is aiIin', sir-we're
glad you come along.
II stood an sulked week or two. an
wouldn't tick or ring.
Or run it's hans aroun' its face. or DO
a blessed thing.
It's old enough to hev rest. a. people
We often think 1t started out thousan'
years ago.
An Cousin Pete. who sets and tells VI
stories in the dark.
He wonders ef 1t give the time for Noarn
in the ark
We're glad it's goin' to start ag'in, for
when 1t amt no good. -,
IL makes Sort O friendly russ al
through the neighborhood;
The folks enquire as II twas folks. an
stop us on the way.
An anxiously they ask us how the OF
clock is today
They's lots o. timc-machines aroun' that
have a deal o. lack,
An need n steady grsnther clock to keep
'em on the track.
Two sesn folks stan out in the road. an
wait an listen like.
tn set their watch by this ere clock,
as soon's they heard it strike.
We're glad Il stopped. though. sos that
Won could take 1t all apart,
An we could see Its thnkfn WORKS. an
where II kept Its heart;
An. why. before it's goin' totstrike. four
minutes an hair. -.
| T, sort o. up an chuckles. like as Ell II
meant TO laugh;
| An how II keeps the memory goon' al
| though it's got so Old,
| An, how n knows the moon Is new, or
| full o. yellow gold,
| An tells II with its picturc-moons' so
| we can know IL nigh
A. well az Of we went outdoor an foun
II in the sky:
| An ef IL ever has the blues. alone there
| night an day,
An. how It come TO know the facts whef
| baby went away;
For half the night there through th'
dark a-cryin' in our bed,
W. haera II talkin' to itself-"She's deac
she's dead-she's dead.
An, tnen I guess wen. TO sleep, an
dreamed a little while,
An thought saw her In the clouds, an
knew her by her smile;
An when the sunrise woke ne up-'twa'
! maybe 8 or T.
| IT changed it's mind, an says to me- IN
Heaven-in Heaven-in Heaven!
VIII Carlton, IN Everywhere
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20

Dootor-The bicycle gives people the best
exercise in the world. Patent-But L
can't afford 10 ride bicycle. Doctor
On. YOU don't need 10 ride one; Just Dodge
them.-New York Herald.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20
Never susueeied Il Before.

CholNe--Youah daughssh has conseuteo
TO navy me. an--cr-Fd Ike to know II
there Is any insanity In youah famiiyl
Old Gentleman (emphatIcaliy)-Ther
must be.-+TYuth.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20

II suppose that you have forgotten
that you owe me SOP said Phillips Sc
verely. mo. l haven't" re-ortsd VIII
bur. Il meant to have done so. Give
me time. old man. and Will "-Harper's
Bazaar,
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20

folks dey celebrate kaze dey glad dey
got rid or all der triflin' no count Mig
gers, and dey wuz mos 81 many den as
dey is now."-Atanta Constitution.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20

The world il full OF people who are
always looking for sledse-hammer 10
crack peanr.t.--Richrond DISCIPLE
In this barbcd-wire age 1t Is queer now
many people manage to Keep on the
fence-Bible Reader.
.Your brother? | did not know that
YOU had a brother" "Oh, yes; or, what
is the same thing, | have two haif-broth-
ers.-Life.
The wise man IS he who asks great
deal OF advice and takes very little or
it.-Gaiveston News.
Nother-.Well. are you going TO let Mary
marry the young man she met at the
shore? ,.
lv WAS afraid she was gong 10 ne
very hard TO please.-Detroit Free Press.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20

wouldn't worry so much about INA,
bo&, Of Yours az College" said the friend
of the family. Hes rot poker player
II know he isn't" replied the father.
ruefullv. but from the size of his ex-
panse accounts I'm afraid he thinks he
is"-Chicago Post.
Cutten-I met a man this morning VINO
came from your old town in Wisconsin.
said he knew you well. Gave you an ex-
cellent reputation, too.
Drvde-Spoke well of me, did he?
Cutten-Well. no, but he said he didn't
know anything mean about you.-ChicaSo
Tribune.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-20

PrejndIced Against the Theatre.
Deacon Ironside, (at the hat STOREY }
Abendblatt., 1895-01-15
6dnferei in elmer 6emein0e.

@lfbunbsrt 9oGen, Mit9GieOer Der ct,
9ebtptgs= @emeinbe, beren 8ircbe an Der
Gde Der gBebfter Nbe. unb 2eabitt @traBe
Itebt, baben fu9 gegen tbren PaftOr SpIepb
8ar3instt aufgelebnt, unb 3par unter Der
Nnfii6rung BON De1ien e6emaligem Mfiz
~tenten, 8ater Nnton &D3lOnsti5. G5 ptrb
%bebduptet, baB 8ar3instt feline gte9enf9aft
abgelegt babe iiber Die @elber, pel9e er
felt 9eruumer 3ett BON ben Wtitgtiebern Der
9emeinOe ge1ammelt babe. @r3biI9of
6eebon Derfprab einem an i'm abgeianbten
@omite, Die Sa9e gu unterfu9en. Na9
8erlauf elmer @O9e, angebli9 am 3, b.
Nfts., 5pQ er aber befannt gema9t 6aben,
baB 8ar5tn8ti un9ere9ter Weiie beI9ulbigt
tporben pGre, unb DaB er bo6er ouf ieben
San i'm Nmte bleiben niirbe. Oariiber emf
pDrten ii9 bic Mufftdnbigen, unb am Sonnz
tag Morgen ~berfperrten Elm babies OuBenb
8emetnbemttglieber ben @eg 8~ar5inSft's,
als berIelbe bur6 Die Stride CUR &an3el
I9retten wOlte. 8ar3in8tt I9iebt bic 9ar3e
@4ulb auf &o3lOpsti, beifen ~ein3iges @e6z
men unD Srabten e5 bon ie6er qene1en fem
1oQ, 8ar3insft aus beffen Nmt gu tretben,
umseS iel6er bethlehem gu t0nnet1.
@ie Die 3pitigteiten enben tperben, fam
Biz jeBt np3 ni9t ermittelt peroen, ba
8~ar5tnSti itA elmer ebenio groBen, penn
nt9t grOBeren &n6dngerf9aft erfreut, tpie
GD3lppStt.