Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1895-02-03
II you don't want an urch,. !. =. :
thing. tell hira to do II. " W

thing. tell him to DO II. ~ !" W
Wen. well. well, soma fo,h. = ..v
certainly are getting up IA mi. ~aw,s
ana putting on airs about n. tool rn.~.<.
foik Miller, whom I used 10 know a. :
boy tand a tarnation, uxiy. freck,s. .s.c.S
ooy ne was, too. with an awful ,ro.,ts
TOT pie). who goes about the strssts 80
a-dsys smoking scent cir,rs' ara -,ss
his shoes all shined up slIek-ns. 80
store-ciothes on his back Ths ola es,S.
OK Prince Edward and tho "a,d hss-,s
we used to chase wouldn't recosn,x. M
now. he's 50 proud and stuck up- No.
things too good for him these t,mss u.
rides vp home on the streat-csr everv
Gay, ana wnen the last circus came to
own ne spsnt 20 cents IN peanets ana
red lemonade. And It's all on sc,,--s
OF that sermon he breaches ne e,,i. ~
recital" but I'll bet he don't knoS
how TO spell the word, and hls nc,,s~
little way OF asking the brethren "a hsrA
round the hat after he has an,shex
'argifying." Other day saw whs,s
he had been TO 81. Louis. and where ~
talked to a $,1c-house." FveryhoS.
seemed TO think hat was 30 smart
don't. can go up on Franklin st,..s
this minute and talk 20 an $50 COO honse.
leastwise I could II chose 10 mat.
monkey OF myself. But you don't catch
me standing on the sidewalk and taking
TO a house. That amt my style. polx
Miller can keep on talking To n ac.
houses. or N,5O ones, either, for th.,
matter; but I'm going 10 do my taking
to the wimming-folks and TO the fellows
at our corner grocery-store No wonft.r
he created sensation In Mlssouri-s,ana.
ing there on the ourbstone ana prn,lrt.
ing with that real estate Just as Ne un-a
to do when me and him drank too mueh
persimmon beer. But haven't got anx-
thing agin him for that--lts causa ha.
so proud that I'm mad.
sss
Horace Smith. his business agent saw
he's queer sort o. cuss, anyhow. ana
thai when he takes an idea into his CO.
coanut It's like pulling fodder TO r.s ~
out. Now, Horace. unlike Polk. IA A
man who always did wear store-clothss
and had pair OF shirt-studs when he
was only u years old. He wears a col.
lar every day--don't make any difference
whether the weather Is hot or cold-aud
even puts on celluioid cuffs when he oes
out. IL was but natural that he should
want TO fix Polk up when he put him ON
the road to lecture. but Polk lust wouldn't
Horace had pursuaded him 20 do ors,
thing right be would 60 wrong on
something else. Smith spent weeks try.
ing TO bulldoze him into wearing a .bll.d
shirt before his audiences. and when
he finally succeeded Miller ambled out
on the stage without a single shirt-.tld
In his bosom. And then he whose name
Isn't Jones foamed at the mouth with in
dignation and besought Polk to get some
buttons. The prosperous Prince Edward
man consented, and the next time he
showed up before his audience with two
gold studs and an enameled one. To
further aggravate the citizen who con-
graduates himself that he isn't desig-
mated as Brown, Polk once appeared in
dress coat and vest, with blue serge
pants on. And nothing can induce him
to wear white cravat Smith can't
understand why Miller Is so queer. but
I know. No wonder he kicks against A
billed shirt. He never saw one till he
came to Richmond.
But, after all. Polk amt bad. He's
kinder hifolutin. IT'S true. with his cigars
and store-clothes, but II make YOU feel
mighty good when he catches hold OF
your hand with his own great, big corn
shelter and saws How are you-your
liver workin all rkghtY' In his cordial.
the-drtnks-are-on-me style. IL he tes
wouldn't talk quite so much like a Niger
when my friends are around. II makes
me kinder 'shamed OF hlm-mskes me
feel kinder po' white
THE IDLE REPORTER.