West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1895-01-24
THE MINORITY REPORT.
lone OF the Two" Writes Column OF
Fun, Fact and Fancy

much iun, good natured and otherwise,
At TWO heretofore" Democrats who,
you allegc, at the late municipal cleo
tion i'm this city, who voted with the
Republicans" AS it is neatly and am.
biguously put
know those two fellows, for zone
of whom / am which" and the identity
OF the other l have learned since the
hurting OF your powerful diatribe.
la the light OF recent developments,
when IL is seen that the big stay-at-
homes could have out-voted the two
recalcitrants, Repu blicans and all, does
IL not look 20 you like the tail was
wagging the dog" and that the dog"
and not the tail" is TO blame? As you
say, About half the Republican vote
was cast" Alas and alack, il your
(dare ! say QUIZ Democrats had come
out and voted, either u straight Demo
cratic ticket or mongrel mugwump
ticket what n dark. deep hole the
RAIDS" would now occupy.
III instead of TWO democrats going to
the polls, ALL went and voted straight,
Cas you and l know they would have
done, were il not for fear of a licking,
remembering the recent November cy-
clone to which you refer) we would
now have control of the city offices,
from Lord Mayor down TO Public Prin-
ter, emoluments and all; and this, re-
CARELESS even of how the Two" voted
80 may say, with slight apology to
Shakspeare's Puck, that Chairman
tortney may again give vent to his
contagious customary chuckle and re-
peat. What fools those Democrats be,
especially those who did not vote"
What we Democrats seem TO need is n
Shepherd with good strong crook to
pull us together We couli have beaten
the RAIDS, couldn't we? But THOSE WHO
STAYED AWAY did not know it. WHY
didn't you, dear ARGUS, with you ac-
custoined foresight, good Sir Oracle,
advise us TO pull together, rather than
to sulk in our tents? Why, even with
but two Democrats Of WE still be SUCH
voting, our good Democratic friends,
Joseph jackson, Julius Kemble Monroe,
and perhaps others, were voted for, not
To mention Joseph Ami Martin and
other RAIDS" not on the Job" ticket,
to give the matter show of non-parti-
sanship, don't you know" WHAT
victory for such men, with n hurrah,
could have been gained if all OF the
stay-home Democrats had come out 1t
strikes me, and have no doubt that it
srtp -,
that it is the other fellows, the stay-at-
homes, that should "be ashamed of it
as long as they live" If there should be
any bushes. And that, verify, il there
be any dark spots on the party es-
cutcheon or any IDIOT on the Democ-
racy OF the town" for a failure of duty,
why, then, "Shake not thy CORY locks
at me, thou can'st not say / did it."
There are more Republican than Demo.
cratic voters in our city Consequently,
when the former held "a convention, we
thought we saw the handwriting
Hence these tears hitherto II our
fores. GIT were only as good as our hind
sight, we would to-day be THE people"
The indications being as you say, that
THE people are in favor of bonding the
town." the aforesaid people" would
now be in position to do what the
people are in favor OF doing. This
would be both logical and patriotic.
(the word patriotic" is used by per-
mission of Chairman Fortney.) Stay
ing away from the polls is not a good
way 20 inaugurate or carry out needed
reforms, or to smash political Jobs"
OF course even thick-slsulled Repub.
lican can see that the minority party is
often in favor of a mixed or indepen-
dent ticket, when If that party were in
the majority, it would take its politics
straight.
When the devil was sick, the devil
monk would be;
When the devil was well, the devil
monk was he"
Notwithstanding this accusation OF
Irritation, have still hopes for myself
Not since the 'Barbarians" came
down like wolf on the fold" has there
been such slaughter And all because
the loyal Democrats stayed at home.
With obeisance TO you, my dear ARGUS,
may still claim TO be a Democrat?
Let me drag myself together and in
quire, WHERE AN Ar?"
All, distinctly remember how I voted
last November
For our favorite Sainted Member,
(een whose GHOST still a1ore)
And TO think that man Of Barbour such
"cussed" thoughtshould harbor.
As 20 take HIS place upon the floor,
But my soul from out that shadow, that
lies floating ON the floor,
Shall be lifted never-more
with profuse apologies 10 the depart
ed Spirit Of Ejgar Allen Poe) Those
are Democratic sentiments, and "them's
my sentiments, tew."
Again in the year OF Grace and Gro.
yer 1892, WE ALL voted. while the
RAIDS Gshed Result for us: Every
thing ia sight including post Offices.
In the year OF Elkins 1894. the RAIDS"
all voted, and our fellows dsbed. Re-
suit: Nothing for us but the post
Offices
And at the late municipal election.