The record-union., 1895-07-20
SUMMER BOARDERO.
How They Enjoy the Delights of the
Country,
Life at the Farmhouse Not All 1t is
Sometimes Advertised
to be-
to be-

been carefully closed so as to exclude any
stray beam of light which might find its
way in from the hot outside world, CIV
ing the room a haZy, gemi-twillght ap-
pearance, which II not exactly cool-who
could be- cool with the thermometer
climbing way up in the 90s2-was dis
tinctly refreshing. There was bounte-
Gus supply of lemonade in huge glass
pitcher which stood on the table in con-
venient corner, which we of the gentler
sex patronized literally. and IN the
meantime waved huge palm leaf fans
languidly to and fro, the heat not being
conducive of any great amount OF exer-
ton.
The men present scorned the lemonade
and tried to look as though they rather
enjoyed the unusual change in the tenn
perature, while they surreptitiously
wiped the streams of perspiration from
their brow.
1--WE must leave the city at once" said
the stont woman between gasps; IF we
don't will be laid up with nervous pros
tration Or a sunstroke."
81 don't see how you can get nervous
prostration from the heat" said the med
ical student. Now you might get"
but the stout woman stopped him with a
little shrek and implored him not TO go
on; that her nerves were too utterly un-
strung 10 hear more, and then she col
Iapsed utterly and the medical student
had to hold a smelling bottle 10 her nose.
while someone else famed her and l ad-
ministered homeopathic doses Of lemon
ade.
She came to after awhile and gazed
no adj
and pathetically impIored him to remem-
ber how very sensitive her poor, dear
nerves were 10 rude and sudden shocks,
and then she went on and told US how
dreadfully it frightened her to even think
that she was possessed OF blood and bone
and sinew and all the other awful things
which go TO make up the human anat-
omy. Then she painted great deal more
and finally she concluded she would re-
cover, and again asked 'W here we could
spend the summer"
Let's go to the mountains" said the
young man who studies botany, with
far-away look in his eyes, as though he
already scented rocks and fossils in the
distance. But the stout woman gave an
other gasp OF protest and said she would
never be taken to the mountains alive;
that she positively couldnt and wouldn't
climb; that mountains were never IN
tended tor people who wore pettlcoats;
in botany suggested boomers she sub
sided on the spot, and could only glare
her indignation at the culprit.
Then the Oldest member spoke. He
said lie was in favor of the country If it
wasn't for the Postmasters aud then
asked if / remem bored the summer we
spent in the country two seasons ago.
Alter l had given an affirmative nod he
went on to tell how he had seen al ad-
vertisement by farmer VINO would be
willing to take IN couple OF summer
boarders. The description of the house
and surroundings were SO dazzling that
we were quite taken by il and opened an
immediate correspondence, with the re-
suit that a few weeks later saw US set
ting forth for our destination.
The station where we alighted was a
miserable, tum Dle-doWn sort of an affair,
situated in the midst OF an open prairie.
The farmer, a lean, lank. lantern-jawed
individual was on hand to meet US in
rickety farm wagon drawn by a couple OF
weary, bedragg gled-loolhing horses. There
is nothing TO do but to get into the wagon,
which we aid with many mlsgiyings,
and then commenced never TO be for
gotten ride over the toughest, hllIiest,
rockiest country on earth, and when we
finally Ventured to ask how much fur
ther we had TO go were cheerfully in
formed that the house WAS only "a little
ways yonder up the road"
An hour afterwards we came in sight
OF the place. q wretched little affair,
weather. beaten and unpainted. A SLOW
emily looking woman, holding IN her
arms yelling, dirty baby, stood at the
door and grouped around her were two
noisy, fighting children, all III more or
less unclean condition. not only that,
but there were dogs OF the cur Dersua-
sion, who smiled at US suspiciously
while the baby howled dismally and the
children stared with great round eyes OF
Rstonishment.
Our first Impulse was to turn and flee,
but when we thought of taking that
awful ride again our spirits failed us and
we concluded TO try it a week anyway.
The view from the house was utterly
unprepossessing. Instead of the waving
fields, there was nothing but barren
stretch of hilly country, on which a few
acres of wheat struggled for a beggarly
existence. An Odor of cooking was
waited TO US, and our spirits temporarily
revived as we thought of what the adver-
tisement said IN regard to this special
feature. Presently one OF the unkempt
children cautiously opened the door with
out taking the trouble 10 knock, thrust
his frowzy head into the opening and
yelled Supports ready !" at the top OF
his voice, and, having done this, he
slammed the door and left US.
The meal was set III the hot kitchen,
and instead OF linen cloth, the table was
covered with a piece OF enameled cloth.
1t was SO much easier to keep clean. the
unhempt woman explained, apologetic
ally. as she gave the bowling infant a
piece of bread TO keep it quiet. Of course
there were no napkins while the knives
and forks were OF the common kitchen
variety.
We could have stood all this uncom-
plainingIy had the food only been good.
but alas for anticipation; before that aw-
fuI week WAS out we both felt as though
we would begin TO crow II we should eat
another egg. and no words can describe
the close affinity we suddenly developed
for the pigs.
The weather was intensely hot, and
there wasn't a shade tree In sight,
though the advertisement had soielnnIy
declared that there was a grove OF oaks
surrounding the house, aud when asked
TO explain The farmer told Us that there
were only two or three little ones which
he had cut down for tirewood during the
winter. The milk was the only thing tina;
kept cool, and We positively used 10 envy
IL, 1t was so blue and shivery and watery
looking.
In order to get the mail we had TO ride
III that rlckety wagon, the only convent
ence obtainable, by the way, to the near
est town which was ten miles distant.
The postmaster was slow, deliberate
individual, who acted on the theory that
the world wasn't made in 4 minute. and
II you a!Qh get all your mail at one time
it didn't make any particular differ
ence anyway. lie also had an
aggrayating little way of telling
you he believed there had been
some mail for you; in fact, he was
quite positive OF the fact, but someone OF
the farmers family had been in and taken
il home, and then you drive post haste
back to the farm. all unheeding the iolts
aud jars of the rocky road, only to be
told by the farmer that neither he no.