Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-09-05
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND Do
INGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Joke1ets that Are Supposed
to Have Been Recently Born-Sayings
and Doings that Are Odd. Curious ana
LaurhabIe-The Weeks Humor.
Let Us All Laugh.

WIN rOO ana reel anu uy,
And then went home and reveled in
One long luxuriant lie.
Philadelphia Record.
'"This reminds me of my school days."
remarked Fogg, as he dropped into his
new easy chair. "Caned seat, you
know Boston Transcript.
The Younger One-I wonder if I will
lose my looks, too, when get to your
age? The Elder One-You would be
lucky if you did.-WaShington Star.
Thomas-Have they named the twins
over at your house yet? John-Yep;
pa called them Thunder and Lightning
as soon as he heard about them
Truth.
Van Twerp-I hear your daughter
has reached a high place in the theatre
cal profession. Won Swipe-Ies; she's
singing on a roof garden.-Brooklyn
Eagle.
"How do you stand on this here mon
ey question, Major?" Il don't stand at
all, sir! Moneys SO scarce that when
I strike dollar it jest keels me over!''
Life.
Weston--Do you think q young man
can safely marry Oh $40 Il week? Eas-
ton-Well that depends on how much
the girls father is worth.-Somerville
Journal.
''Say, guide, what does that memoir
ial stone commemorate!" Il put it
there. 1t it upon that spot where q
tourist once gave five marks. '-tlle-
gende Batter.
Carry-Why was it, I wonder, my
poor husband never said anything to
me about remarrying? Anna-Proba-
bly, you were not the person he wanted
to Warn.-Life.
Justice-What is the charge against
this prisoner? Otficer-Having an infer
nal machine in his possession, yer hon.
or. Justice-Anarchist or bicyclist =
Brooklyn Life.
In popping the question he did prefer
To do it in manner firm and steadyi
He did not go on his knees to her
For she was on his knees already.
Life.
Teacher-If your father was to hear
of your conduct it would make his hair
turn gray Bobby beg your pardon,
sir, my father hasn't any hair left
The State.
Harry-Come. Johnny, let's play
horse Johnny-Oh, you're behind the
times; we don't play boss any more. If
you want to play bicycle, I'm with yer
Boston Transcript.
Summer Resorter-And Is everything
on your farm nice and fresh? Farmer
Nice and fresh? l guess you'd think
so if you'd see some of our city board
ers-Boston Traveller.
Did you receive an affectionate let
ter from Bar Harbor from your wife?"
Eyes. but she didn't waste any words.
She merely wrote, Love! Send me
$1OOv Boston Gazette.
Hobson-I hear Cholly Sappy is out
of his mind, poor fellow. Costique-I
think he is rather to be congratulated.
He must have been frightfully cramped
in Philadelphia Record.
Young Lady ION the grand stand)-
even see a feather. Her Escort-But
you must remember that this is q pick
ed nine-Sacred Heart Review.
81 see they've nominated Coxey fur
Governor of Ohio" said one ex-Com.
monwealer. "Yes," replied another.
"But we won't have no such walkover
en- we had last summer. "-Washington
Star.
Cholly Chumpey-I see that earrings
are coming into fashion again. Have
your ears ever been bored? Miss Caus-
tic-What question:! Haven't often
listened to your twaddle ?-Syracuso
Post.
Yabsley--Did you carry out your
threat of telling Samuelson what you
thought of him? Mudge-No. The
telephone girl said she positively could
not stand such anguage.-Indianap
Journal.
Princely-Did you see Jaberson last
night, spending money like a prince!
Like prince? He blew In about 81.
Do you call that like prlnceF sure.
The money was his wife's. INDIAN
apolis Tribune.
"Ah," said the jovial friend Of the
man with the valise, going for a little
rest, are you?' NO" was the reply,
Will a hurried glance at the time table,
I'm going away on my VACATION
Washington Star.
I'VE must ny," said Murat to Napo-
leon on one occasion when the battle
had gone sorely against them. 1T Is
impossible" replied the latter. ..Thc
enemy has destroyed both wings Of the
army .'-Harper's Bazaar.