Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1895-09-19
EVENING EcRoss.

nowY2 Writing" 81 didn't think
he was literary "He isn't He
writes home for remittances. 'l--"Tid
Bits .l
"How do you like my new trolley
hatY'' Trolley hat It's very pretty,
but why do you call it that?n why,
John says it's perfectly killing. "
Brooklyn Life. - tf
Emma, 1 Just saw the lieutenant
kissing you. Don't let me see that
again. Certainly, mamma. We
shall be more cautious hereafter''--
"Lustige Blatter" 9
The Real Trouble. -Auntie--" John
ME, you must never be afraid to toll
the truth. y johnnie No, auntie,,
amt. It's to tell lie without being
afraid that bothers me. "--"Life.r
Optician Ito his new clerk -" Now,
in sending out those price lists write
the addresses as small as possible, so
that those reading them may feel bow
badly they. need glasses. -" lid Bits. y
Why not2---Johnny-" Papa, want
to ask you Ia question:" Papa
Well, what is lit, my son?" Johnny
e If the ruler of Russia is a Gar, is
his wife ~" Pick Ne.
Up"
A Peculiar Man. -Brown--"Don
you think Smith 10 an exceptionally
modest mani" Jones'" Yes, indeed.
| never heard him claim that his rheu-
matism was the worst on record. ~
PUCK"
"Wbat do you think of this new
lake-fron park idea?" Excellent;
don't you think soS'' Eyes; undoubt-
oil 30 huua in
which TO keep off the grass, -" Chi
cago Record. y
q Favorable Indication Mac
"What makes you think Toperly's
yacht is SO we'll fitted out with sup
pliesY" Van--fI offered to bet him
that we would see a sea serpent the
take me up. ''-"Life. y
First Lieutenant-"B Jove, as we
were going over the river on the plank
bridge it gave way, and the men fell
in.o Second Lieutenant-"W What did
you do2'' g ordered them to fall out,
of course. ~" Household Words
Miss De Fashion" Mother, what
shall we send Miss De Style for her
wedding prePent?" Mrs. De Fashion
Twill the list. be published in the
paper?" mo; she says that's vulgar. "
Send her plated saltspoon. -" New
York Weekly"
Retrospection. -Nuwed- - According
to you, never told you single truth
before we were married. Mrs. Nuwed
-"Oh, George, you weren't quite as
bad as all that. Don't you remember
you always used to say you were un-
worthy Of meY"."L Life. "
Cheap Firing Professor visit
ing a student in his chambers -" How
cold it is here! Do you never have a
fire? How can you work in this tenn
| peratureY" Student" Professor,
when / begin to feel cold, l just
think of my exam, and then / perspire
all over. -" Leeskring.
At one time the Presbyterians of
Ulster were discussing the ignorance
and stupidity of one of their number.
"And what notion he has in his
head nown' exclaimed one of the
elders in dismay. His head!'
echoed one Of the ministers; he has
no head What you call head is
only a top-knot that his Maker put
there to keep him from ravelling out. +"
=" Argonaut.
A Conditional Reward. Woman
"My husband has disappeared, and
may be dead. / want to offer reward
for his body" Chief of Police Yes,
madam. A description will be needed
and this, with the reward, will no doubt
prove effective. He may be alive,
you know, III which case we may soon
be able to return him to you, +" Wo-
unless he is returned dead, Just remem-
! har That 80 Nauy Xnrlr WoalrIv >
How the Colonel Made Room Do
you think, " asked the colonel, as
he cooked his revolver, "that you can
make room to- morrow for that commu-
nication of mine which has lain on
Certainly !" gasped the editor, "if
we're crowded i can enlarge the
paper, or ''That is satisfactory, y
interrupted the colonel, still cycling his
weapon. Il heard that you were
crowded for space up here, and
thought if l got you and the foreman
out of the way there would be more
room. Good morning. -" Atlanta
Constitution.
ITS all right, Mary he said,
patiently. SEQ into politics and run
for office if you want to. But remem.
Der one thing. the cartoonists III be
after you as soon as you're candi.
date. 81 don't care. " "And they'll
put your picture in the paper with
your hair out of curl and your hat or
crooked. " do you think they would
do that?" she inquired, apprehensively.
"Of course. And they'll make your
Paris gowns look like 10-cent calico
and say that your sealskin coat il
imitation. " William" she said,
after thoughtful pause, 8" / guess III
just stay right here and make homt
happy. Washington STAR