The free press., 1895-12-26
EXCHANGE FL ASHES.

are sad, and laughs with you when
you e glad, and swears with you
when you are mad ? The editor.
Who has to be both kind and wise,
and never (hardly ever) lies, and
when he does, creates surprise ?
I he editor. Who owns a heart as
well as cheek, Is possessed of a
pirit proud but meek, and lives
on 40 cents week ? The editor.
Hamilton 'Va.) Enterprise.
Money used to be- made from the
skins OF animals. Sono of it Is
made now-a-days by skinniug hu~
man beings -Democrat-S.ar.
G. w. Truitt, of Georgia, raised
fifteen bales of cotton from five
acres of land, and broke the worlds
record by gathering one hundred
bales OF cotton with the labor of
only two mules.-Biloxi Banner.
SCANDAL.
The scandal monger is person
to be heartily despised by all class
es, and The person who repeats Il
scandal is even worse than a thief
or a murderer.-Rev. DR.. Ferry,
Methodist, Winnipeg, Manitoba.
WILL SHE?
When the coming woman gets here
Will she offer up her seat
Will she offer her umbrella
When there's rain or SLOW or sleet9
win she help us in the wagon J?
Will she bate our fishing hook?
Will she step into the water
That We dry may cross the brook I?
W i'll she seize rail- and rescue
When the bully chases us a?
Will she push the wheezy mower
Every eve and make no fuss
Will she run the locomotive.
Shovel coal aud han die brakes? :?
Win she level mount and forest,
Carry bitters for the snakes?
Will she march so bloody battle,
Snap her fingers at the hurtss
Well, I guess not she will merely
Hide be hind her husbands skirts.
Chicago Home Blade.
The New Woman--the plain truth
must be told-ls simply a feeble
and pathetic imitation of man,
with his faults more conspicu ous in
the copy than his force and his
strength. -Uompercial Appeal.
The press of the state is having
a good deal to say about the pros
hibition law. If there is such a
law, or rather the enforcement it
must be in some country not yet
discovered by man. The prohi-
bltion law in this state is not only
farce so far as the law is con-
cerned, but it is doing more injury
than all the open saloons hereto-
fore IN force. Prohibition is one
thing and prohibition law not en.
forced is entirely a different one. -
Newton County Progress.
"One is never too old to learn"
is decidedly proven when we are
informed that Martin Van Buren,
Stevens, at the age of 70 years, is
now a student at the University of
Kansas and will graduate next
spring aud take up the practice of
law.-Charleston Herald.
The Democratic party has been
pronounced dead so often-and al
ways comes up as clipper as ever
again-that there is left no ground
for doubt that it is immortal
Washington @. H. (Ohio) Register
Dem Ocrat.
Bro. Walker, editor of the Will
iamsburg Watchman, is sockless.
He says if he can borrow pair he
Will hang them up Christmas. His
delinquent subscribers are treating
that poor editor shamefully, and
we are certain they vii, get what
they deserve--a hot place when
they leave this world.-Democrat-
Star.
Eighteen hundred and ninety.six
will be no more than auy other year
do you say ? Hadn't you better
think over it? Perhaps past years
haven't been much to you, but was
the fault in the years, or IN you ?
Some man or woman who reads
this item, perhaps ffippanuly, will
end this life in 1896. Oh, yes, this
year may mean very much to yon.
But brother, there IS more 10 living
through it right, than in dying out
of 1T wrong. Living and dying,
may 1T be TO you all that God in.
tended.-Word & Works.
LOST, STRAYED, OR STOLEN.
From the parish of st. Helena,
La. on or Ab0ut tha spcon6 dav of