Democratic Northwest and Henry County news. [volume] (Napoleon, O. [Ohio]) 1894-1905, 1895-12-26
THE WALLER BABY.

cessity-1ust as men are. Wv course II
there warn't no wimmin folks there
wouldn't be no men folks-leastwise
that's what the medibil books say. But
] never wuz much ON discussin humin
economy. What hev allus thought md
said wuz that wimmin folks wuz kind
nv luxury, md the best kind too. Maybe
it's because hahn It he'd much to do with
'em that I'm sot ON 'em. Never did get
real well acquainted with more'n three
or four nv 'em in all my life. Seemed
like it wuz meant that I shouldn't hev
'em round me as most men hev. Mother
died when / wuz little tike, md Amt
Mary raised me till wuz big enuff to
make my own livin. Down here in the
southwest, you see, most nv the girls is
boys. There amt none nv them sivilizin
influences folks talk uv-nothin but
flowers nd birds md such things as
poetry tells about. So kind Nv growed
up with the curis notion that wimmin
folks wuz too good for our part Nv the
country, md hevn't quite got that no.
tion out'n my head yet.
One time-waal, / reckon 'twuz
about four years ago-I got letter
frum ole Colonel Sibley to come up to
Saint Louey md consult with him bout
some stock int'rsts we had together.
Railroad travelin wuz no new thing to
me. I he'd been prutty p p'osperous-hed
got past hevin to ride in cabboose md
git out at every stop to punch up the
steers. He'd money in the Hoost'n bank
md use to go to Tchicargo oncet year.
He'd met Fill Armer md shook hands
with him, nd oncet the city papers he'd
a colume article about my bein mil
lionaire. Nv course It warn't SO, but
feller kind Nv likes that sort Nv thing,
you know.
The mornin after I got that letter
from Colonel Sibley started for Saint
Louey. took bunk in the Pullman
car, like ] he'd been doin for six years
past, md reckon the other folks must
hev thought wuz heap Nv man, for
every half hour ] give the niger haf a
dollar to bresh me off. The car wuz full
nv people-rich people too, / reckon, for
they wore good clo'es md criticised the
scenery. Jest across frum me there wuz
lady with big, fat baby-the prutti
est woman / he'd seen in a month Nv
Sundays, md the baby-why, doggone
my skin, when wuzn't payin money to
the nigger, darned if didn't set there
watchin the big, fat little cuss, like he
wuz the only baby l ever seen. / ain
much Of hand at babies, cause hain't
seen many NV 'em, md when it comes
to handlin 'em-why, that would break
me all up, md like IS not 'twould
break the baby all up too. But it has
allus been my notion that nex' to the
wimmin folks babies wuz jest about
the incest things on earth, So the more
/ looked at that big, fat little baby set
tin in its mothers lap cross the way,
the more I wanted to look. Seemed like
wuz hoodooed by the little tike, md the
first thing I knew there wuz water in
my eyes. Don't know why it is, but it
allus makes me kind Nv slop over to set
md watch baby cooin md playin in its
mother s lap.
Look a. hyar, Sam, says I to the
niger, "come hyar nd bresh me off
aginl Why amt you tendin to bizniss"
But it didn't do no good t all. Per-
tendin to be cross with the niger might
fool the other folks in the car, but it
didn't fool me. I wuz dead stuck on
that baby-gol durn his piotur. And
there the little tike set on its mothers
lap, doublin up its fists md tryin to
swaller 'em, md talkin like to its moth
er in lingo I couldn't understan, but
which the mother could, for she talked
back to the baby in soethin lingo
which I couldn't understan, but which
! liked to hear, nd she kissed the baby
md stroked its hair md petted it like
wimmin do.
1t made me mad to hear them, other
folks in the car criticism the scenery md
things A mans in mighty poor bizness
anyhow to be lookin at scenery when
there's a woman in sight-a woman
md a baby!
Prutty soon-oh, maybe in hour or
two-the baby began to fret md worrit.
Seemed to me like the little critter wuz
hungry. KNOWN that there wuzn't no
eatin house this side nv Bonneville, I
jest called the trainboy md says I to
him, .'Hev you got any victuals that
will do for baby?''
How is oranges nd bananas!" says
he.
"That ought to do," sez I. "Jest do
up dozen NV your best oranges md a
dozen nv your best bananas nd take 'em
over to that baby with my compli-
ments. y
But before he could do it the lady he'd
laid the baby on one Nv her arms md
he'd spread a shawl over its head md
over her shoulder, md all nv suddin
the baby quit worrin an seemed like he
he'd gone to sleep.
When we got to York Crossin look
ed out'n the winder md seen some men
carryin long pine box up toward the
baggage car. Seein their hats off, I knew
there wuz a dead body in the box, md /
couldn't help feelin sorry for the poor
creetur that he'd died in that lonely
place Nv York Crossin, but I mought
hev felt heap sorrier for the creeters
that had to live there, for I'll allow that
York Orossin Is leettle the durnedest
lonesomest place I ever seen.
Waal, jest afore the train started
agin, who should come into the car but
Bill Woodson, md he wuz lookin pow
erful tough. Bill herded cattle for me
three winters, but he'd moved away
when he married one NV the waiter girls
at Spooner's hotel at Hoost'n.
Hello, Billr' saysI. "What air you
totin SO kind nv keerfullika In your