davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Greenville times., 1895-02-09
HUMOROUS,

"A country cemetery has the follow,
ing notice over the gate: 'only Il,
dead who live in the parish are buried
mere. Philadelphia Ledger.
II never give anything to youur,
heaithy person" Beggar-"Do Won
expect me to become an old crinrls
Just 10 suit you?'--Fliegende Blatter
-Hicks-"And how did the fellou
LOOK after the fight; serious. ehy
"ieks-"Well, yes, he did wear rather
rapt expression Boston Transcript
There is trouble In store for Long
wed Trouble in store?' ayes, a
IN several of them. His wife cave hin
sample of dress-goods to match d
day.'-Buffalo Courier
Handsome Englishwomuu-eoulv
iancy | have found three gray hairs n
my headF Polite Frenchmnn = 80
long Us they can be counted. madame
uiey don't count. Pail Mall Budcet
--Cholly's Hallucination.-First Girl
-"cholly is a nice boy. only he has .
niueh to say" Second Girl = "ya
mats just where his weak point lies
lie thinks he has. Detroit Freeprcsx
-Griggs-'T say, old man. whats
good for insomnia? | haven't closed
my eyes for five nights Colonel
,r, ion want to have boxing match
me hrst time | tried II, remember,
M, my eyes were closed for fortnight
Tit-Bits.
are you interested In golf. Mrs
SehningsP' asked young Simplsins
iiter racking his brains for some time
Tor something tosay. "rm not familiar
win ms works at all, replied the old
ady. What has he writtenp.-Har
Ders Bazaar.
-'oiopos-"Did you hear how Wiz
'ag attempted to console that unsue.
eas,ui anburn-haired author9n Blobh
no; let's hear it," Slobbs-ssHe told
''in that there was some consolation
! 'ae tact that even If his book wasn't
nd. 'nia NV
:. now, o bribe," said the states
lah' a oribe, as | take it. BIT
~ =, roar OF delighted interruption that
'liowed convinced him that further
marks would not be listened to with
ie respect due the utterances Of
lne.
: mamma said the baby, what
2 you soaking your feet for?p ..Be.
use my head aches. DEAR The baby
= evidently puzzled, and remained
.ap' IN thought for few miputes]
-. isn ne broke the silence again.
aamma, II your feet ached would
u soak your head?-
IA IA, iady was showing visitor the
s ,an. portraits in the gallery. "That
'eer there, in uniform she said.
as my great-great-yrandfather. lie
:. : as orave as lion, but one Of the
:. unfortunate of men. lie never
'sh. a battle in which he did not
~ - an arm or leg carried away
!, - = sue added, proudly; "Hs took
M. ~ 'wenty'four engagements
The Greenville times., 1895-02-09
PERSONAL Ann

Charles \. Roberts h.
i've children have arrived !.
\. J., from Texas. having ~ i
ly the entire distance AMI ~.
a year on the road.
n l. Farjeon. the No.
tributes all the good for,n
has been his to the luck.
Zealand greensboro which is s.
rled for years on his watch 4
Sir Isaac Newton, in biz =
taries on Daniel saws Ia
elesiastieal festivals were !.
fixed at cardinal points il Il
without reference to the d,.a
incidents, dates which h 49,
bic to ascertain.
Beatrice Harraden tbin, !,
women of the United Statas =
things to complain OF, and r.
their frankness, honesty. cls.
and lack Of affeetation. sbs
larly likes the way Amer;a.
behave about men,
Ira Ward, born in g
April 0, 1876, and his Wit n
Graves Crampton Ward. bo,n - !;
mont, October IL, 1897, are liv;a =
farm near New Hudson. VI
We're married November ID. Ia,
enty-seven years ago.
Prof. John Stuart Blael,,.
nous author. is one of tho s;..a ,ae
Edinborough'. His active ~ y
through three generations aaa I
'ighty-six he is still vigorous :
irving so many famous men wha !
us friends, he is justly called ,hs y. y !
J the Scots" '
Foreign papers say that the =.
hat Nile. Helene vacarescr II NJ
'roken engagement with TIA - -
'rince OF Roumania % ttracted ~ :.
vide attention. had been marr;sa i
rroneous. 1t seems that ii WINS
ousin, the daughter OF the court.,,'
hal, i. Vacarescu, who BEGAN. = !.
fife OF Paul catargi.
Mrs. Isabella Beecher Hook..
'ibntes her good health in her u. :
the fact that she EMPLOYS an ~
zeal or magnetic masseur a. ~ ~
vice a week. Mrs. Stowe has Il i
lme treatment, and is strong in bad
Rough not in mind. II is a ,hss.
ith Mrs. Hooker that one can ~ ~
'ung forever in this way.
Miss Emily Gerry, who died . :.
iys ago, linked the DAYS Of Ias' n
ndenee with the present time IN n
rs the daughter Of Elbridre a..
yner OF the Declaration of M
nuehee' governor, vice-president Al,
'm whose name the word age,.. -
inder" was made, and was ninss,
rec years old, having been born wv.
r father was fifty-seven. =
Writers of fiction should be ca,s,.,
W they trife with natural scIeue.
e popular novelist described wi,s
leh eIoquence tropical full moou
! represented us occurring immedt
~ afterward a total eclipse Of Il,
! an astronomical impossibility i
"a a time. An American novelIa
'resents one of his character, Z
nting to a certain star in the conn.
and names as the =.
date OF the incident u day whe.
star is visible in no part Of III
tn.
The Greenville times., 1895-02-09

fon may talk about the sentiment
The ioycly towers teach.
but II yoa want q package sent
That's got a longer reach.
Just step iato the first rice shop
That happens to be handy.
And tell the clerk to send her IN
great big boz Of candy.
Philadelphia Recon
The Greenville times., 1895-02-09
HOME HINTS AND HELPS


TO Boil Mutton: Put into q pot
with water enough 10 cover the meat
skim well as the froth arises on top
Serve when done with drawn butte
and eapers. and parsley laid about ovei
ii and on the sides Of the dish. st
Louis Republic
Scrambled Eggs: Beat one-hali
dozen OF eggs. and add one-half pint Of
milk, salt. pepper. butter and curry
powder il liked. Put into the ehafng
dish in which tablespoonful Of butter
has been melted. Stir constantly for
two or.three minutes. Serve. garnish
with parsley, and eat with hot but.
tered toast, or cold rolls.-Good House.
keeping,
Apples for Immediate Use: Wipe
clean about twenty good cooking ap-
pies of medium size. and place them in
a preserving kettle with water enough
to about half cover them; then add two
large cups of sugar, half cup of vine
gar and dessertspoonful OF ground
cinnamon; cover them tightly and let
the apples simmer slowly until soft:
use them when eold.-Housekeeper.
Shank Soup: When you buy a
shank, have the butcher cut it into
several pieces and split open the thick.
est part of the bone. Boil it three or
four hours and set it aside. The next
day remove the fat, and, if you do not
wish to eat the meat in the soup. take
that out. Strain the soup. Cutup fine
an onion, two or three potatoes and |
turnip, and put into the soup. Simmer
all together until the vegetables are
tender. Half an hour before dinner
add little powdered sweet marioram.
catsup and some salt.-Boston Budget
Roast Beef Hash Drowned: Cut
some nice pieces Of roast beef from
sunday joint, put them in a ehopping
bowl and chop until quite fine, then add
cold boiled potatoes with their skins
,n,season well with salt and black pen.
per and just pinch of red pepper, and
mop the potatoes and seasonings In
With the meat till all are very fine
helt some well-clariied beef drinpings
q . frylng pan, and when very hot ,
'ut the hashed beef and potatoes in. !.
'our over little hot water from the
eakettle, and let the hash cook for !,
en- or niteen minutes, stirring almost
ohstantly; at the end of this time take
out OF the frying pan and put it in }
platter that will stand the heat we'll
rake the hash up in a mound shane
'rown the top Of the hash with a red. ?
ot lron.-Farm and Home. "
--Macaroni and Cheese: Have n .
lrge saucepan Of boiling water IN 7
hich drop one-half pound OF maca. y
'nl Keep the water boiling until !,
ie macaroni is quite tender; drain y
20 Dash some cold water over II !"
ave ready six ounces of grated cheese
farlnesan if you can get it. Place NJ
yer OF macaroni in deep dish, sea. VI
n slightly with salt and pepper and M
of cheese, continue until az
aterials are used, reserving some Of at
G cheese for the top layer. Cover su
9 top with very fine bread crumbs sn
arm without oiling large table. re
ooniul OF butter and pour eyenlv po
er the top. Brown the top with OF
Z shovel held over. Never brown in nc
E oven as the butter would oil and th
impart a disagreeable flavor to the ca
~ In boiling the macaroni, let II
perfectly tender but firm. no port
ginning to melt, and the form on.
eiy ypreserved.-orange Judd Farmer ina
The Greenville times., 1895-02-09
At THE HEARTS cirADsL

uIrr vide thr ehnrIGsh des-s
sAez.4 4sve Gene IN b stealihs
Giving wtti usf make thee poor.
Nes saving tFiAz thee wsaish.
sAfsnE not ienn he motley bsosa
stFslniaE 3. thy gate.
1nen hast little understood
haEaz hearts that zalt.
haaEFx heaFls that seek thelr bread
A TIE hosty ssezs.
slieat on the hard hestesa
I'll Tcry duaoneSS spe=ksi
NAleF epeas lose Of kIa
i tao small cole.
LET tte asstg Earid eane fa-
For thea ART q the Whole
Give the dry and messer crrna
E thy unwilling trust.
Faith g f2ith vill surely eoale.
Aht inre % lore. ihey rns..
snnliSht and the airs et Esar@u
tbs prison house Wlli nlE
he secret q the earth i given
To Lose, the Coaqueror, stIil
-eA@f.e;te 4. PsexaE1 IN n Y. Independent
The Greenville times., 1895-02-09

md you say that her father had
been appointed to a prominent plnce
under the government
Yes"
And to think I was abor, ,o mo
pose to herr ~
has Ia, the appointment changed your
Decidedly. / could sunnor, h.r
very nicely, but don't know wba,hes
! ieel Ike taking chances on being OK.
peeted to chip in and supper, the en-.
tire family. Truth.
The Greenville times., 1895-02-09

fnilosopher-The only thing that
ean make any man. rich or poor. per.
fectly happy, is love, and love costs Pa, ~,
penny. = Ao'
PRACTICAL Man-True, but keep;nr
me loved one IN clothes costs like The
Old Nick. ". Y. Weeklv. s"e
The Greenville times., 1895-02-09

Miss Buyem-I never saw furn,tpre
una una carpets 50 cheap. The papers arc
Just eramrned with bargains.
mrs Buyem-I know 1t. and ,bere
isn't room in this house for anotbsr
thing. "l''iier
hiss Buyem = How horrid, I will
nave to let all those lovely bargains on
or else get married.-N. 7. Weelslr 81
The Greenville times., 1895-02-09

Mrs Hicks-Here l am, keeping two
glris and have to work like a slave
myself '"'o
girl? 0'''ef
AIRS hieks-Not much; come what
may y ! simply won't work nights.-Y.
The Greenville times., 1895-02-09
ReIesated to the Klteh...

Inc question as TO what is the heat
seas, wrote the apswers-to-eorres.
pondents man, in response 10 a onsrr
tnat had just come IN, must be lsft -
1ne COOKS and should be determined bv
rssing vote.s-chieago Tribune
The Greenville times., 1895-02-09

Cholly Tenderfoot-lIave you snv
desperate characters around here now?
Driver lof Deadgulch coach)-Ya-as;
Alkali Ike's purity tough.
cholly-What's his record9
Driver : Why, fore Ilxe's wife "A
been dead a week he got full an rode
yer biooay Vanyon an married
his Observation-Disclosures.
The Greenville times., 1895-02-09

Know Mhat ua Va. A..

Enthusiastic colored Spectator "a.
,ashionaole weddingD-Go it, gents.
keep de rice a-aying-chuck It out live.
Ieneeman-An' fwhot are yer eggin'
av thin an fur-sure, you are not re.
lated?
L. :, s.-No. boss; but rice Is good
Ior enlekins, an | am de sweeper hyahI
The Greenville times., 1895-02-09

Little Girl-our baby is smarter than
yours. '''"N a
Little Boy-Tisn't.
G.. ies tbs. Your baby can't say the
first word yet. Our baby ia beginrinS. ~
TO talk" ''N
Good News.
The Greenville times., 1895-02-09

oosiing-Barher, my skin is tender.
l Wlsn @ you'd shave me down, not M.
irisn Barber-Down. is it2 sure so-
there's nothing else but down 10 shava,
-Harpcr's Bazar. y
The Greenville times., 1895-02-09

..1l na'e you got messenger boy calioos.
,a1s.esscnger-boy calico, madau9s
~ NJ, yes; the kind guaran.a.a
. run, Fou know. ."-TrntA. "o'
The Greenville times., 1895-02-09
From Her Bachelor Uaels

I've secret to disclose.
Sweet Marie.
heoneerns your ruddy noss.
Swee. Marie.
~ would soon come round all right.
And once more be pearly white.
IL you wouldn't lace so tight.
Sweet Marie.
Chicago Tribune
The Greenville times., 1895-02-09
At Home and abro.s
he could tell uithnn, a -,

ne could tell without a stae-sr
-, When out upon the stunip'
how 70 settle monetary national s,,st.
but Of home he lost his ssag<er.
ANA. no matter how he'd hnmn
lie couldn't settle finance with Nd ~.
Boston Traveller.
The Greenville times., 1895-02-09

aoa-is Jack Rogers a atalkatire man,
asien : I've been trying for tvza
SfsFs - Ease him speak.-Life.
The Greenville times., 1895-02-09

Nr. hiehinann-I don't demand that
my daughter shall marry wealth. bu,
do insist that the man she rnarr;as ~. s,,.,,
maze nave oralns enough to get along in the
iouhg siimpurse-Well. think I've
snown very good Judgment in selectins
Weekly. y. 1.
The Greenville times., 1895-02-09

wish, said Mrs. Corntossel. ..thet
,ney wns some way ter keep people
irom rom, talkin' about We behind yer back =
They Is" replied her husband.
"What?,
The Greenville times., 1895-02-09

Kun fer Office. Then they'll talk
snont s ye ter yer face. .n-Washington
The Greenville times., 1895-02-09

Us. Sc pint of meat half a n,,,.
stGeh' ,3.i, a generous teaspoonfnI ns - ~ . 81
al,lc , pepper, a Tablespoonful ~ - ei SAT-
q, : tablespoonful of butter ara ~ hour,
Slices slices Of toast Put the Ina meas s'hsmall Is. "a
snopplng I,, tray and sprinkle eSs orsu On !. the
ra,, ra,,' Pepper end -four, then II ehn ~ 'ne
..a,,. .s'ner coarse. Now put IN : ehop it It
'.empan ';'r,.. with the stock. Coz. small
s,.a. simmer for half an hour tbsn wover ,, and
+ ga'eer' a' Toast the bread and and audit, aud the
,,,'.. :, on a :. warm dish Spread aua ,t arrange
upon it andserve at once eau eau y the e, hash
h.-.. The ! daughters Of Bi.ho,, ~ =
NJ ,yo,,a, me many other prettr ,1a,rlnlo
WIN. WIN ? short time between e'e married
a,s. oeiose the marriage Of al, tbl.a not long
H. ENG e,lla antoher sister ,1. loolaa At the
~ ~ sa.lrch' si' at the bride and ea ,e aooni
'ns NJ seese,n'iy.made ss, brides Of 'b Tue vari
'da ia.. .4ia; Wen, thev saw " ner family |
''''eFFi l'as It "a . Poiy.rTaisSr Ct marriage /
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1895-03-01
25


The people OF Junction are rustling for
the extension of the Oregon Pacific from
Corvallis to that city. The Junction
City Times says: As one of the
Oregon Pacific purchasers win be here
early in next month to make some def
mite arrangements, We have but little
| time to lose. All persons that viii be
benefited by the construction Of the road
| should begin to make up their mind as to
what they can afford to give in the way
of work or material. Do not get the idea
| in your head that the road will be built
any way whether you do anything or not.
You may be sadly mistaken in this.
Your failure 10 do what you should, may
be the cause of the failure of the scheme.
The only way in which we can secure
this road is for every person who will be
benefited 10 do their part and not trust
to providence too much. As to whom il
viii benefit, there can be no question but
it viii benefit every person who buys or
sells anything. The very day the Oregon
Pacific Is built 10 Junction City and we
have competition, your property will ad-
vance from 10 to 50 per cent, for the rea-
son that people coming to this country
will always seek the places that nave
competition. People have had too much
experience in being at the mercy Of one
road. to be led into buying property at
non-competitiye points. Some may raise
the objection that they do business with
Portland and that the building Of this
road can do them no good. This is not
the case. The Southern Pacific now
hanls merchandise, except powder and
high explosives, from Portland TO Albany
or Corvallis at l2h cents per hundred
pounds, while we pay ut an average rate
OF nearly 10 cents per hundred pounds,
and the only reason OF this is, they have
competition at Albany and Corvallis. Il
would not take very close figuring for
any one TO find out the great benefit the
road viii be to us.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1895-03-01
Highest of all in Leayening Power-Lae us Report
RH:A'!I! q! Rs%ass7 RRskiaRs
ABSOLUTELY PURE
LAST SEEN IN ALBANY.

The Brownsville Times says: Many
are the queries as 10 the whereabouts Of
Mr.. Jos. Sawyer, familiariy known az
'Red-headed Joe." Last Thursday
morning he left for Albany, stating that
he was going for the purpose Of cashing
1852 check which he had received for
his hops, and also stating that he would
return Friday evening. Just before noon
on Saturday, he entered the First
National bank, and informed tine cashier
that he was in deuce OF a rush, and
wanted his check cashed Immediately as
he was going to leave On the noon train.
This Is the latest information his friends
have of him, and where he is now, his
most itimate acquaintance cannot even
imagine. Ar. Sawyer leaves a number
OF creditors here 20 ''hold the sack" He
was in debt 500 or 500, besides he had
purchased fifty acres OF land OF L. T..
Blain, and had given mortgage on his
team and wagon-all his earthly effects
for the first payment, which. was al
ready due. Contemplating these terrible
conditions he doubtless came to the con-
clusion that he could not possibly face
the music, and then concluded TO take
the $452 and HE himself away 10 a more
eongenial cline. A few persons express
the belief that Joe Is the victim Of foul
play, but those who are in position to
know best, give no eredence to the latter
theory.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1895-03-01
SATURDAY

| SCORED BY A CoMMITrRR.-The Joint
committee severely scored the soldiers
home management, and no doubt Gov
ernor Lord appreciated the situation for
he appointed a new board OF directors.
The Roseburg Review says: The Joint
| committee which investigated the SOL
dier's home at Roseburg, made very
unfayorable report today. They claim
that the location was unwise. no compe-
| tition being allowed in choosing a site
for it, a course which could not be too
strongly condemned. The building is,
also, unsatisfactory in its arrangement
and convenienees, the officers living be-
low, while the old veterans have toclimb
the stairs. Twelve employees, the COM
mittee regards as too many, and the pay
| OF the officers as too high. The board Of
trustees has held an unnecessary num-
Der OF meetings, drawing per diem in
violation OF the law. Trustees Nickel
and Mullen are scored for taking a Junk
eting trip TO California at the expense of
the state, drawing mileage for same
whiie using free passes during their
travels. The big deficiency which must
be provided for was largely the result OF
mismanagement and extravaganza.
The final resolution of the inycstigat-
ing committee concluded by saying that
they have shown extravagant and use
less expenditures OF the fund and recon-
mend the non-confirmation OF the pres
ent board which is composed OF the fol-
lowing names: J. W. Mullen, Chas.
Nickel, A. l. Bellows, s. S. Train and
James Nyron- The committee further
say they condemn most emphaticaIly the
system OF petty larceny inaugurated and
carried out by the board. II Is claimed
that trustees have pilfered the state and
varied the performance by bsck-biting
each other. The report concludes by
saying the management has not been
able, honest, clean nor economical and
besides recommending & non-eonfrmz-
ton ot the board recommend that suit
bssbegun 10 force the hoard 10 return to
the state stolen money. The report Is
signed: OF the senate: y. T. Alley and
Jno. 4. Smith. OF the house: c. ?.
Yates, j. 5. Boothby and ]. f. Blundell.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1895-03-01

WEgE BRoC6HT 10 ALHAxY.-Mr. and
Mrs. 5. Warner, pioneers OF this county
have, IN the eOurse OF events, become 50
essrangei that il is impossible or AZ least
intolerabie for them 10 spend their de-
clining days IN each others society and
Is relief, Mrs. Warner, no; long since.
secured home fer herself in the city oi
Albany. True 20 mothers love, she
sought the control and care Of her chill
dren IN which she Was successful the
fore part OF this week by spiriiing them
away. While such family trouble is 10
be greatly regretted by ali lovers OF good
morals the fsc; remains that these chill
dFen being taken from the temptation Of
Intoxicating drink and its endless chain
oi evils aud placed in good schools and
surrounded with conditions tending 10
make them good, useful men and women
Is boon 20 them. and an event that
will in all probability save them much
trouble through the course OF their lives,
and should bind them 20 her in bond
Of love and respect never 20 be broken.
|-Harrisbur. Review.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1895-03-01
wAsHINGToN's BIRTHDAY.
The School Children Commemo
rate 1t With Flying Colors.


M1ashington was honored at tn,
w opera house last night by the pu
pills OF the public school in one OF Tho
best school Entertainments ever given in
Albany comforting great credit on teach.
| ers and pupils, and to an immense house
a piano solo by Clara Settlemier open.
4 \ ed the program. IL was followed
by piano duet all well executed, show
ing excellent training. The music ofthe
evening was all good.
tate Superintendent Irwin delivered
- the address, patriotic tribute 10
the father OF our country, presented with
force and containing many seasonabls
ideas. II was s.commended by all hear
ing it.
II ow well Misses Hulburt and Smick
Il l. presented piano duet was shown
by the applause that followed. The
audience sang America, the voices OF the
school children prevailing in energetic
notes.
the salutation OF Jas. Longbottom
i the audience WAS well entertained.
The hatchet story by a class of BOYS
tasttly dressed for the occasion was n
very pretty affair and was enthusiagticIy
applauded.
n othing did credit to the occasion
/ more than the essay OF Edith Row
ell on Washington, an excellent sketch
oil his career, from his boyhood DAYS TO
the closing scenes OF his great and un-
selfish life.
gorge Washington would have been
NJ pleased with the tribute to him in
the acrostic exercise terminating in the
word dear TO every American heart,
Washington. II was performed by a
very bright class OF girls.
he nations color bearers, DISPLAYED
i eleven pretty flags, showing the de-
yeiopinent OF the national coiors into
their present supreme position among
the flags OF the world. 4 beautiful and
patriotic exercise greatly appreciated.
IN its completion Beloved America
~ was sung, when flag was built in
a beautiful exercise by the pupils Of
rooms 1, 5 and 6, with the picture Of
Washington in the front, Maud I.aug-
head paying the tribute with telling
effect.
n OF only the Star Spanyled Banner
N Was good bHt the Washingtos,
march WAS great. ''0ur Own Native Land"
closed the program, a red white and
blue affair from beginning to end, one
requiring much labor and splendid drill
ing to be 50 well presented. The spirit
OF patriotism being worked up in the
pnhlic schools Of the country speak for
the future.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1895-03-01
KNOWLEDGE

Brings comfort and improvement ant
tends to personal enjoyment whss
rightly used. The many, who live b
ter than others and enjoy life more, wiz
less expenditure, by more prompsSS
adapting the worlds best products L
the needs of physical being, viii attest
the value to health of the pure liquid
laxative principles embraced in the
remedy, Syrup of Figs
Its excellence is due to its presenting
in the form most acceptable and pleas
ant to the taste, the refreshing end truly
beneficial properties of perfect lax
ative: effectually cleansing the system,
dispelling colds, headaches and fevers
and permanently curing constipation.
1t has given satisfaction to millions and
met with the approval of the medical
profession, because it acts on the Kid.
neys, Liver and Bowels without weak
ening them and it is perfectly free from
every Objectionable substance.
Syrup of Figs is for sale by all drug
gists in so cent bottles, but It Is man
ufactured by the California Fig Syrup
Co. only, whose name is printed on every
package, also the name, Syrup of Figs,
and Icing well informed, you will not
aecc pt any substitute if offered.