Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-04-11
Showing Uncle Around.
GOOD OLD MAN, BUT NOT AC
CUSTOMED TO CITY WAYS.


CUSTOMED TO CITY WAYS
There are some old men living
who have not seen all the sights of
the city, says the Chicago Herald.
Now and then one comes in who is
a counterpart of Joshua Whitcomb.
Such one was here last week. He
has lived nearly forty years not far
from a Wisconsin town which is
within two hours ride of Chicago.
He has nephew here who took him
around for two days, and the
nephew is enjoying himself relating
some of the antics of his Badger un-
Gle.
1--WE took an elevator" said the
nephew, "in one of the retail dry
goods houses, and while the man in
charge was waiting for others to get
in, my uncle said to him:
Hurry up, now; if you're going
to wait for a load, we'll get out and
walk
Just as the car started he said to
the man:
DON'T let go the rope. I reckon
| could jump out and beat it down /;
but I'd like to enjoy the full ride, if
it's the same to you
We reached the third floor, and
the man called out:
Third tloor-ladies' corsets, un-
derwear, silk skirts, hosiery, and
patterns
stop 'er,' called out my uncle /;
and turning to me, he said, Come
on, jim this is where I want to
land - and as we were leaving the
car, he said to the man in charge,
jest hold your horses here a few
minutes till we come back. Now
don't run away, cause / want to go
down to the roof when | get on
again.
We were soon in the midst of the
Young saleswomen of the depart
ment. My uncle, after looking
about for moment, remarked, in a
perfectly honest way:
Il guess you are all orphans or
widders, maybe, seeing that you are
all dressed in black. ] guess the
concern here is pretty good to you to
give you jobs. Pm awfully sorry
for the lot Of you, and if you ever
get away Sundays and can come out
to, I'll meet you and take you
out to the farm, and give you the
best we got. My ole woman would
be powerful glad to have you. jim,
here, is my nephew; lives here in
Chicago; reckon you all know Jim
hey, Jim?'
The situation was embarrassing,
and pulled him away. The young
women were blushing and laughing
AS we passed out he saw one OF
those ugly Chinese gods in the tea
department. Before I could stol
my uncle he had hit the idol in the
face with his slouch hat, kicked at it
and then said to me:
Say, Jim, if your Aunt Betsy
had that out to the farm she'd use /
for bee gun. / wonder what they'll
let it go for?'
tugged at his elbow until | 90
him away. We were then in sigh
, of descending elevator. He brok
from my clutch and, making a dasl
for the car, he called back to me:
you yet aboard > and when [ reache,
the car'he had hold like wise OF
the cable, while the conductor wa
crowded back i'm the corner. 'Kee
back, or I'll brain yOu,' my uncl
was saying to the conductor. {
know what am doing. Say, jim
I grab the rope a minute till l spit 0
a my hands, and then pll run 'er t
Y the cellar
r BY the time he released the rope
e had him in the corner, where hel
him until we reached the first foo
I | got him out of the car, and finall
got him to his train, and while | eI
l joyed his antics, ] was tickled whe
u | knew he was gone, for | didn
}. know, while he was here. what mil
e ute he would break away and caus
i me trouble. He is one of the be
s old men that ever lived, but liable [
go off half-cocked at anything tn,
l. is novel;"