The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1895-07-03
ON THE FOURTH.
Love, Romance and Why He Was
p a, q, = Never Married.. u r. N.

jack sat on the piazza smoking cigar.
1 Joined him. A parcel Of mothers were
gathered together in the front yard watch
ing their respective kids, five of whom
belonged TO Jack. They were making
perfect racket Pit wheels swished against
the blackened gattposts, powder crackers
spit and snapped, skyrookets banged
through the air, and the youngsters
squealed with delight Now and then q
frightened "Oh" from one of the mothers
could be heard above the din.
"What are you laughing at, PeteY" said
Jack as 1 threw my bead back and gave
vent to the most uprodrious laughter
"Well, TO tell the truth, " said l TO my
innocent companion, 81 was thinking Of a
Fourth of July experience once had with
an auburn haired girl" and l again
laughed.
"Fire away" said Jack very appropri-
ately.
"Well, you see," answered I, "a new
girl came to visit my cousin Jane was
completely gone in half an hour after the
introduction. invited her to go sailing
on the night OF the glorious Fourth. A
fine lunch slowed away in the bow of the
boat. Roman candles and skyrockets lay
cuddled together in the stern, and powder
crackers by the package were there. That
evening arrived. Opposite me in the
stanch Clarlssa sat the witching girl Her
eyes were bright, her cheeks pink and her
Intoxicating auburn bang would have
knocked an artist dead on the spot. After
an hour or so of small talk verging awful
ly near the will you be mine period
thought l would frighten her just little
bit, so that might console and pet her
afterward, SO set off u flrecracker under
the scat on which she was sitting. Glori-
ana Johnsonl With q noise like q rebel
yell Nhe shot up two feet In the air, bias
like, and dropped into the water with o
thud that dcnationalized my soul She
arose to the surface. made dive for her
and just reached her hair. l clutched 1t,
and the struggling owner dropped again
to the bottom, leaving the wig in my
hand. i soon again observed an object
shining in the moonlight, and / grabbed
her just in time. l hauled her into the
boat and gave her my handkerchief with
which to mop her face. She clapped it or
her head In "a jiffy and tied it under hel
chin. then Tipped the wig toward her
1t landed on the overturned .lunchbox
| Such messi Divorced slices of bread anC
ham lay strewn in the bottom of the mucl
bedraggled Clarissa Cookies swollen tC
twice their normal size decorated the side!
of the sarsaparilla bottles. The edan
cheese that prided myself on rolled hithel
and thither among the other stuff likt
something demented. Not a word wa
spoken between us. Mutually shocked, W,
sat like mummies. landed her at tn,
boathouse, and as she stepped upon tn,
boards she turned and said, For heaven
sake, Mr.. Waterman, If you have any char
ity in your heart, any honor in your soul
swear that you will never divulge wha
has happened this evening" She looked
so drizzly, faded out and woebegope
promised faithfully never to speak Of 1t t.
ahuman soul, and of course 1 never have.
Jack looked at me curiously for mo
ment, then he said ~
"My, my, that's the reason, then, you't
never get married."