Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-10-17

Let Us All Laugh.
He used to say, "Will you be miner
No more the style endures,
OF woman ''new," but still divine,
He asks, "Can be yours"
Washington Star.
Will some fisherman kindly inform
Us how the bass can reach the upper
sea?-Boston Transcript.
"They say that Gertrude's husband
Is almost illiterate." "Well, he signs
. check neutrality-suspicious. Record.
II went shooting yesterday" "what,
has the game law expiredT "Oh. yes;
nothing else did, though. chicago
Record.
Smokeless powder has been introduc-
ed at West Point. The cadets wear 1t
on their coat lapels after every dance
Chicago Dispatch.
The st. Louis girl wrote: "DOn't phale
to be thar" Her Kansas City beau
replied: II will be thar; there's no such
word as phale. Ocean.
Bobby-Paw. what's the difference
between aqua and water? Paw-The
druggist will show you, my son. that
the difference is merely the price,
Syracuse Post.
"Never," began the philosophical
drummer, "never marry woman with
q square, protruding chin" 81 never
do" said the drummer from Chicago
Indianapolis Journal
Fuddy-There goes Widow Grimes.
A great woman, that; always looking
out for number one. Duddy-Always
looking out for number two, you mean.
Boston Transcript.
"No, no; wouldn't dare to have my
husband help when we move" why
notT "He's depot baggageman, you
know, and he'd be sure to forget him
self."-Chicago Record.
"Do you call Peary's latest expedi-
ton to the Arctic regions a successful
One?' asked Hiland. II do" replied
Haklet. HE got back alive. Pitts
burg Chronicle Telegraph.
"He didn't have the sand to propose,
did he, BessieT" Eyes, but she reject
ed him. She said that while he had
the sand to propose, he didn't have the
rocks to marry."-Harper's Bazaar.
"Papa, know what I'm going to buy
for your next birthday" well, what?'
"a nice painted shaving mug" But
have fine one now" ooh. I've just
broken that"-Fliegende Blaetter.
Do you hear the ocean moaning,
Ever moaning, sad and low?
'Tis because that fat old bather
Stepped upon its undertOw.
University Herald.
"These Jokes about the young man
staying so late" remarked ChOllie at
about 11:5S p. M, make me tired"
Dear mev said Maud Edith, g! had an
idea you never got tired."-Indianapo-
| lie Journal.
"There's one good thing about the
melancholy days Of autumn" said
Sneersby. "What is that?" when a
man gets a plain, ordinary cold he
can't 60 about calling it hay fever -
Washington Star.
Teacher-Are there any exceptions to
the rule that heat expands and cold
contracts? Tommy-Yes'm. The Ice
man leaves lot bigger twenty pound
| chunk since it got colder."-1ndianap-
oils Journal.
A short time ago publisher brought
out book entitled advice to Plain
Women" Only one copy has yet been
disposed of, and that was taken by the
office boy to his mother for curl paper.
Fl. B. 90 Kalendar.
perhaps IL l were to boil it down."
suggested the space writer. wouldn't
do any good" said the obdurate edit
or. take a gallon of water and boil 1t
down to a pint, and it would still be
nothing but water."-Albany Argus.
.These yachtsmen don't seem very
different from other people," she said.
as she laid down the picture paper.
"That's true, excepting as to ono fact"
"What Is thatw None of them wear
yachting caps" Washington Star.
.what do you think Of this previous
existence theoryT 81 know 1t Is to be
supported by facts. For Instance,
know n woman only 81 years old who
often thoughtlessly tells about things
that happened 35 years ago."-Indian-
apolis Journal
81 would give the world to call you
mine," he said ardently. mo. Harold"
she answered kindly, but coldly; you
may think you would, but you wouldn't
You couldn't buy the world on eighteen
hundred dollars year, you know
Washington Star.
81 wouldn't worry so much about that
boy Of yours at college," said the friend
of the family Hes not poker play
err" II know he isn't" replied the faith
er. ruefully, "but from the size of his
expense account I'm afraid he thinks
he is."-Chicago Evening Post.
"You are not going to publish every
thing l say, are you" said Senator
Sorghum, anxiously. NO." replied the
reporter; II wouldn't think of II. II
were to let some Of that grammarless
English get into the paper I'd lose my
position before sunset tomorrow
washington Star.
1t hain't no use In talkin' now, they
kennot sail boat;
They think they've got q trotter when
it's nuthin' but goat.
An eff they're goin' tur git the cup for
Johnny Bulls domains,
Il