The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-05-25
HETEROPHEMY.
An Awkward Trick for Which the Tongue
or Nerves Are Responsible.

An Awkward Trick for Which the Tongue
or Nerves Are Responsible.
Heterophcmy, the curious disease
which consists in using one word when
meaning to use an entirely different
one, gives rise to many amusing COM
binations An old lady living in a
town on the Hudson river is thus af-
Hicted. She is tall and stately in APP
pearance, courtly and gracious in man
ner, and this makes her homogeneous
sentences all the more ridiculous.
Strange to say, she herself is totally
unconscious of her inirrnity, for the
family, friends, and even the servants
endeavor to save her from the morsiti-
cation she would feel.
Not long ago, when she was recover
ing from serious illness, the bishop OF
the diocese CHANGED to be making his
annual visitation, and at the sugges-
ton of the rector, they went together
to call upon Mrs. Drew.
She was delighted to see them, ana
| entertained them with her usual grace
and cordiality. The conversation nat.
urally touched upon her illness, and
for time had been despaired OF.
Presently she turned to the bishop,
| saying earne,s =, MY dear bishop, let
us have little drop"
The startled prelate glanced at the
rector. He, knowing his old friends
infirmity, cast about in his mind for
her probable meaning.
Bishop" repeated the old lady, SER
iously, ''let's have a little drop"
Certainly, Mrs. Drew" interposed
the rector, waiting for her to make
some move which might disclose her
meaning. But Mrs. Drew waited ex.
pectantly, also.
eff you have not your Wade Mecum
with you, there is a prayer-book," she
said, after a moment.
The rector, with a sigh OF relief,
| turned to the bishop Mrs. Drew will
| be glad to have you read prayers with
her" he said quietly.
| Prayers were read, and then the gen
tlemen prepared to take leave.
Your visit has been pleasure,
| Mrs. Drew said warmly. Now, Mr.,
Belknap, won't you take this little boy
home to your dear wife, with my best
| love?'
For a moment Mr.. Bellenap wondered
if she could mean the bishop, but she
relieved his mind by lifting magnifi
cent bunch of roses from vase on the
table.
Allied to this is another form of mis-
speech, to which most of us are occa
| sionally subject-the exchange OF syl
tables. A certain young lady, who
to her intense modification, often re
verses her vowels thus, says she is en-
tirely unconscious of it, even aftel
speaking.
One summer evening she was saun
tering with friend toward the villag'
post Office of the little town wher'
they were staying. On the way the.
encountered an acquaintance with ;
handful of letters.
/ "Ah, good evening"" she said in he
peculiarly gracious, suave manner
Are you strailing out for your mole?
The mystified young woman mad
some inarticulate reply and passed on
AS soon as the friend could recover he
gravity she gasped: II suppose yo7
intended to ask Miss May if she wa
strolling out for her mail?''
The same young lady was relating
sad story of various misfortunes whicl
had overwhelmed a dear friend.
Think" she concluded pathetica1ls
"of losing husband, children, propert
and home at one swell foop" And
howl of laughter rent the roof. AT