Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1895-06-12
JACK KINGS FUNERAL.

"This here which I'm mentionin',
said the old cattleman, was the hrsI
funeral the town had had. or course
some of the boys had been doWned al
one time an another and gone shoutln
home TO heaven by various trails, but
the remainders had been freighted east
or west every time. an the camp got
left. lie was hard luck, but one day IL
came toward us. an therewe were WIN
q .coprse all our'n. no partnership Win
nobody nor nuthin'.
ms the chance of our life, said the
postmaster. an we plays it. There S
nuthin' TOO rich for our blood, an these
obsequies are going TO be spread-easie'
YOU bet. Wen show Mutt an Rincon
am sech hamlets they amt sign camps
compared with Deming.
so we begins TO draw in our belts
an get a big ready. Jack King was
the corpse. mergin. out of a game or
poker as such. He'd been peevish an
irritable an pesyerin, an perVadln
round for several days. The town
stood a heap of trouble with him an
tried to smooth it along by giving him
his whisky an his way about as ne
wanted, them hoping for a change. But
man is only human, an when JACK
started in one night to make flush beat
a tray full for $40 he asked too much.
There weren't no undertakers, so we
called the camp to order, and known
he'd take pride in il an do the slam-up
thing. we put In the postmaster 10 deal
the game unanimous.
Gentlemen, he said in assumln
the present pressure I feel the compll-
ments paid me i'm the selection. shall
act for the credit Of the camp, an l neeo
YOUR help. I want these rites to be a
howlin' success. l don't want people
comm round next week allowin' there
tint been no funeral, an 1 don't reckon
much they will. We've got the corpse
an If we fall fiat now it's our fault
so we Dinted jim Sweet and French
Paul to 90 to the Santa Fe shops for a
box for Jack an detailed a couple OF
nisgers from the corral 20 dig a grave.
~'And mind you ais said the post
master Il wants the hole at least a mile
from town. In order 20 make q funeral
81 success YOU need distance almost as
much as a stiff. IL gives the procession
a chance to spread an show up. You
couldn't make a funeral imposing an
have it I'm your back yard
Everything went smooth right OIL
the reel We got a box and grave all
ready an the postmaster stuck up u
notice on the depot door scttin, the hi
l9ritv for o'clock the next day.
PROMPT at the drop Of the hat the camp
let go all holts an turned loose In a
bodv to- put Jack through right. ne
WAS laid out in great shape in the New
York store with nuthin 20 complain Oh
if he'd been asked to make the Kick
himself. He'd a silk neckue' 0lue
shirt an pearl buttons. trousers an
boots. Some one. Whisky Sue, think
Ind Dastei some court plaster over the
hole on his cheek bone where the DuIieO
got i'm. an all around, Jack looked pet
ter than I ever saw him.
"T.et the meetin come to order
said the postmaster, sittin' down on
how of boots no ut Jacks head, an. as
many as can. please get something 10
si+ on Now. nv friends he continued
There amt any need Of me putin on
any frills or gettin In any scroll Worh X.
The object Of this convention IS PLAN
an straight. Mister King, here pres
emf is dead Deceased was a very
beadstroug person an persisted yeSJer-
6av i'm en-ertainin' views as to the Value
of a club flush, queen at the hedu'