davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02
He Was Tired of Calendars.

A long, lean, lank man, apparently la.
boring under some strong motive for ex-
element, stepped into prominent insur-
ance office ON La Sale street this morn
ing and asked:
do you give away calendars for 1895
here?"
Eyes, SIR" answered the agent.
"Are they printed with great big black
letters with red letters for Sundays and
little birds flying all over themi"
Eyes"
''Is there a string tied to them SO they
can be hung up in front of your"
Yes"
"Got plenty of thems'
"We have any quantity Of them, sir.
Want one?'
"Are there notices at the bottom telling
you about watching out for fires and where
to get insured and all that?"
Certainly"
Elbow many companies do you repre-
sents"
'sSix or eight There's the old reli'-
Never mind. Do all Of them send out
calendars?"
YES sir, all except one, butt
"Do you mean to say that you have one
company that docSn t send out calendars
and doesn't intend to send out any for
1882"
eyes"
"Then," cried the lank, long, lean man
feverishly, that's the one I'm looking for.
1 want to insure my life for $50, 600 in
that company. I've had AZ calendars for
1896 from AZ different companies stuck on
my desk since the beginning of this week,
and the worm has turned, sir the worm
has turned Chicago Dispatch.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02

The California Limited leaving Santa
Fe at $40 p. m. is solid vestibule train
Chicago to Los Angeles and San Diego
without change, free chair cars Chicago
to Albuquerque, same equipment east
ward. Only 3811 hours between Santa Fe
and Los Angeles.
The California and Mexico Express
leaving Santa Fe at 1920 p. m. carries
Pullman Palace andT Sleeping cars
Chicago to San Francisco, without change.
Tho Columbian Limited leaving Santa
Fe at $40 is solid vestibule train to Chi
cago, only 4SK hours between Santa Fe
and Chicago, 82H hours between Santa
Fe and Kansas City. This tram makes
close connection at La Junta for Denver
and Colorado points. Parlor and chair
Sars La Junta to Denver. Time 10 hours
between Santa Fe and Denver. All trains
carry dining cars between Chicago and
Kansas City. Between Kansas City and
the Pacific coaet, meals are served at the
famous Harvey eating house.
Close connections ARE made in Union
depots at all terminals north, east, south
and west. For particulars as to rates,
routes and through tickets to all points
via the Santa Fe Route call on or address:
II. 8. LUTZ, Agent.
q. T. NICHOLSON, 9. p. q =. 4.
City ticket office, First National bank
building
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02
ERIE MEDICAL co.. Buffalo, NY
BlUEGoGGLE WAS CRUSHED.
And He Wished He Hadn't Been So LIZ


And He Wished He Hadn't Been So Lo-
quacious.
He was prosperous young man, and
thrifty mammals smiled upon him, while
willy papas did not disdain half hours
talk with him upon the tariff.
He had called to escort Miss Eve
Ign to the theater and her mother was Ct
tertaining him while he waited, having
carefully placed him where he could not
see the clock.
Miss Evelyn is such sensible girl, -
he remarked. She
Indeed she is" replied her mother. .
don't hesitate to say SO, for, as often tell
her father who should know her good
qualities as well al II"
who, indeed? 1 was struck by her
good sense
THAT shows your perspicuity, for she
Is SO modest that she sometimes conceals
it,
'She displayed it upon the occasion to
which l refer in contrast to Miss Madge
Prettypink. She"-
Eyes, l am sure Of it. What people
can see in Madge I'm sure l don't know.
But Evelyn is blind to her faults. She Of
ten says to me: why, mamma, it is not
poor Madge's fault that she is silly. 1t is
her misfortune So sweet of Evelyn"
Every. Upon the occasion to which |
Just referred had escorted Miss Madge to
the theater, and
Now, that was very kind of you, Mr..
Bluegoggle, for what a brainy man like
you could see in poor Madge's silly prattle
/ don't know. Evelyn often says, Poor
Madge has so many masculine callers, and
really don't know how she could enter
tain them if 1 did not stay with her so
much and help her. So self sacrificing of
Evelyn"
eyes Miss Madge was wearing hat
can only compare to the tower of Babel
and the remarks Of the people who sat be-
hind us quite destroyed all my pleasure in
the play l decided then never to ask
Miss Madge to accompany me again. Now,
Miss Evelyn sat near us, with her father,
wearing a modest little hat, and why,
good evening, Miss Evelyn, IL
Mr.. Bluegogglo was just telling me-
dear, that he saw you the other evening
at the play" began her mother nervously.
sob, was he?" replied Miss Evelyn,
tossing her head, on which was perfect
mountain of lace and feathers. I'm sor-
ry he saw me such fright. You see, Mr..
Bluegoggle, had selected hat just like
the one Madge was wearing, and the hor-
rid milliner never sent it homo until the
next day. couldn't take off my hat, for
it always gives me such a cold, SO l just
had to sit and suffer. 1t was SO kind of
you to give me another chance to really
enjoy the play in my new hat. am quite
ready now"
And Mr.. Bluegoggle gasped, opened his
mouth as if to speak, closed it again and
meekly followed her into the hall.-Chi-
cago Tribune.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02
My Baby

was a living skeleton; the doc
tor said he was dying of Maras-
mus and Indigestion. At 10
months he weighed only seven
pounds. Nothing strengthened
or fattened him. l began using
SCOTS Emulsion of Cod-liver
Oil with Hypophosphites, feed
ing it to him and rubbing it into
his body. He began to fatten
and is now a beautiful dimpled
boy. The Emulsion seemed to
supply the one thing needful.
Mrs. KENYON WILLIAMS,
May 1894. Cave Springs, Ga.
Similar letters from other
mothers.
Don't be persuaded to accept a substitate!
Scott 4 Bovine, NY. All Druggists. Soc. and ST.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02
v1AT.oPEN1Na BLANK BOOKS

Being satisfied that If you have once
used hat.opening book. you will al
ways use them, and in order to get
you to try ono the New Mexican
Printing %. of Santa Fe, will sell you
HANDMADE BLANK BOOKS,
bound in full leather, with patent
T.oPENING STUBS, with your
name and the number, or letter, Of the
book on the back in gilt letters, at the
following low pricss:
5 Or. (AOO pages) Cash Book $3.50
s3F: SO 9 IesEer $50
They are made with pages 1OHx1o
inches, Of . good ledger paper with
round cornered covers. The books
are made in our bindery and we guar
antss every one Of them.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02

While in Stockton, CAL, some time ago,
Thos. F. Langan, of Los Banos, that state.
was taken very severely with cramps and
diarrhoea. He CHANGED to meet Mr.. G. M.
Carter, who was similarly afflicted. He
says: II told him OF Cham berlain's Collie,
Cholera and Diarrhea Remedy, and We
went to the Holden drug store and pro-
cured bottle Of IL. 1t gave Mr.. Carter
prompt relief and I can vouch for It's
having cured me-" For sale by A. @.
ireland, jr.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02
A MARTYR.
OF tho Modern Type, but None the Less .
Real Hero,

ne A. x,, ~. N.,,.
- -''
~
Il am extremely tiahed OF an THIS wot
apouo 'he he"oisH .! Ihe oiu inawtahs
aoncher Know said fercy radaielord'
tne p~opper young man. " Dahiei MA
glhnls' inc morse ooc'or'
boh't take any stocK M INC oiu lei,
lows heys lou 10 nov pe.''he on tne oio
martyrs thene salo the horse uoc'or' as
ne took announcer chew OF topacGo.
Na"' cahn' eMah1 Gu 'he saIc'ion
OF my app"ovai. lhere are lnawtahs 10
Jay oohcher KNOW WIZ are inoal he"oic
thah Inc pwolesslohal lna a, .i'as you
"eau ABOUT III 'l'e hom WV, history poohs.
Ihere De' W 'ney' rep'ieu 'he horse
DOCTOR. Name iew VI en-.
foung Fa"oiu Moh.'ho"ohol' who
was very ueah lweielo VI inihe-lho
oean poy!-namoio Mohsiho I'VE. was uile
Oh inc ewea'es' NAV nhs onis ~oiiu mas us
ever pwoauCeu' pom my nunah' no was'
"ha' alu no uo. asAeu Ine norse
uoo.Ui' as no pus us 100. y. yn1 oaOio
he "orkeu lor eigh0 uo.iahs WEEK.
uoncher Anow' Duo ~ sp.'o " Sno "a
owelhe p"ioo' ono"sou ~ o.Iyos, no us
Gh"isnou .ho pwalso"yivn' aO.on VI
heep,he niin ,, u"'s'00 -" ''o 'o"S -"
Vese ,asnion'
Weii' ho" ho 'oiii0 on' "'Aou 'l''
morse uoctor.
we.i'. uohcner Ahow, no 'N"inpeu
nillseii W llve VI Swo s,a"ssos Vi lille,
th"oo owus's VI pmouu' 'o"" o""0Aeis
any oisa"es s, 10Y
,,M noSe lieshs a 1n.s t .ae nolse uuo.o, ,,
~ mp. Wy 'nIe o"ns no"o.o"y,
o ~, 'no pmoppoi yoahs nun, ~
vi he nau an en.'An sun VI oio'nos ~ 'ho
'0"y ne" , i "a ..a ~, uo . nno"
uoo" 10y sai Nl, .,,e ho ot;e u4otor :,
~, anu :no" 'ol"lpio Sn'ns n"ppenou'
Inc iashlon, uoicnel hno", cnahgeu rom
D"o"u p" ,, i'A'' w A"i W." ""''A
li'eu ha's'
w o"u, saIu snc noiso uoo.oi.
1""s. nuo i,"woio was o"avo anu
nomolo SUI, anu no saso Wy nis V"o
sia"ases VI MIN uay anu oousn' Hill
''" a.Me,t t p"..n' .'u nav ,:.,.,
re1O oel''r 'nei'' "ion he' asAou 'A0
morse uoceol.
a .a nuU .nol "n nun s lnoso ulsas-
',ouS onihs n"pponoa no lasnion, uon
ol'el Ahow' ona a,l rum shaMD Sa i
ooaos w. ions 'ailou ooao' anu no was IA
'etwiuio peiu,G a. ohue ,noan, -.
HorOer pu. nm Ill no'e asain' ASH
." VIZ Aoi'o ",o'ui
aas ouD ne was HAWAII u ,ne
. .wue hewolo pwee . anu ae sase up ms
,'"oo y" oo'o =. nou "' anu oousnO
MN MN long 1alleu Goa. ~ place u MS
shawt talieu one uoncner KNOW.
Nooie SOU! saio we horse uoo'or aS
l'e CUok ano'ner chew u tooacoo.
hewolo cwea.ulel salu 1ne Pwoppef
yo.ns inan nut l.s , S"i" 1ss anu WHY ~.
,aUiohs "ere no. yeV wal ousS 'hen '.o
,aslioh chanseu l"oih 'leh' '"ousers W
iooso t"ousers' a., =,
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02
A Hop, skip and Jump.

An athletic caper of this sort would
scarcely be considered indecorous in one,
even of mature age and sedate habits,
impelled thereto by excess of Joy on re-
covering his digestion through the in
strumentality of Hostetter's Stomach
Bitters, foremost among remedies for dys-
pepsia, biliousness aud constipation, a
trio of evils, usually found in conjunc-
ton with each other. As the stomach re-
covers it's tone, and the gastric juices are
secreted in healthful plentitude through
the agency of this superb restorative,
nerve tranquility, appetite and sleep
return, the body gain in substance and
the muscles in vigor. For the prevention
and cure of malarious, rheumatic and
kidney trouble the Bitters is most d.
rect and thoroughgoing medical agent.
Its effects are speedily felt and compre-
hensive.
She: I think there is considerable
room for Improvement in ladies dresses
nowadays. He: Well, in the sleeves
especially, should say there was room
enough for almost anything.
Any one who has ever had an attack of
infammatory rheumatism will rejoice
with Mr.. j. A. Stumm, 22O Boyle Heights,
Los Angeles, over his fortunate escape
from siege of that distressing ailment.
Mr.. Stumm is foreman of Merriam's con-
fectionery establishment. Some months
ago, on leaving the heated work room to
run across the street on an GRAND, he was
caught out in the rain. The result was
that when ready to 60 home that night he
was unable to walk, owing to inflamma
tory rheumatism. He was taken home,
and on arrival was placed in front of a
good fire and thoroughly rubbed with
Chamberlain's Pain Balm. During the
evening and night he was repeatedly
bathed with this liniment, and by morn
ing was relieved of all rheumatic pains.
He now takes especial pleasure in prais-
ing Chamberlain's Pain Balm, and always
keeps bottle of it in the house. For
sale by A. G. Ireland, jr.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02

Curfew Tide.
"The long day Closes
The thrushes sing In every tree;
The shadows long and longer grow;
Broad sunbeams lie athwart the lea;
The oxen low.
Round roof and tower the swallows slide,
And slowly sinks the sun
At curfew tide, ......
When day is done.
Sweet sleep, the nighttime's fairest child.
Ger all the world her pinions spreads.
Each flower beneath her influence mild,
Fresh fragrance sheds;
The owls, on silent wings and wide,
Steal from the woodlands one by one
At curfew tide,
When day is DONE
No more the changing rookery rings
With voice Of many noisy bird.
The startled wood doves Gathering wings
No more are heard.
With sound hike whispers family sighed,
Soft breezes through the tree tops run
At curfew tide,
When day is done.
So may it be when life is spent,
When ne err another sun can rise,
Nor light one other joy present
To dying eyes.
Then softly may the spirit glide
To realms Of rest, disturbed by none,
At curfew tide,
When day Is done.
Chambers Journal
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02
The Grand Canon Of the Colorado

the most sublime OF natures work on
earth, INDISPENSABLE, can easily be reached
via Flagstaff, Williams or Peach Springs
on this road. To the natural bridge OF
Arizona and Montezuma's we'll you can
Journey most directly by this line. Ob.
serve the ancient Indian civilization Of
Lapuna or Acoma, "the City of the Sky"
Visit the petrifed forest near Carrizo.
See and marvel at the freak of Canon
Diablo. Take hunting trip In the mag.
n,ficent pine forests of the San Francisco
mountains. Find interest in the ruins OF
the prehistoric
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02
CONNECTIONS.

ALBUQUERQUE-A., 7. & s. F. Railway
for all points east and south.
ASH FORK-Santa Fe, Prescott & Ph@-
nix railway for points in central and
southern Arizona.
BLAKE-Nevada Southern Railway for
Purdy and connection with stage lines
for mining districts north.
BARSTOW-Souther California Railway
for Los Angeles, San Diego and other
California points.
MOJAVE-Southern Pacific Company for
San Francisco, Sacramento and other
northern California points.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02
Not So Serious.

It is related that two persons, one OF
them wheelman and the other an oppo-
nent of bicycling, were discussing the
chances of injury through riding wheel.
Injury? Pooh!' said the wheelman.
"Ive been riding three years, and I've
had only one accident, and that wasn't Sc
rious."
"What did you break in thats'
"Only leg"
"Only leg! l should think that was
enough"
ooh, but it was my teachers leg"
Youths Companion.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02
THE NEW MEXICAN.

Daily, English Weekly and Spanish
Weekly editions, will be found on
sale at the following news depots,
where subscriptions may also be
made:
A. @. Teichman, Cerrillos.
8. E. Newcomer, Albuquerque.
B. T. Link, Silver City.
J. B. Hodgen, Deming.
O. 9. Miller, Marlborough.
B. Daley, East Las Vegas.
L. r. Allen, Las Vegas.
San Felipe, Albuquerque
Jacob Weltmer, City.
Fletcher & Arnold. Bland, N. NJ.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02
"FEMALE WEAKNESS"
Mrs. WILLIAM HOOVER, of Bell,Tve

N7CHf0Nd CO., ono,
writes: i had been
a great sufferer from
female weakness >
I tried three doc.
tors +; they did me
no good ; I thought
/ was an invalid for
ever. But l heard
of DR.. Pierce's Fa-
vorite Prescription,
and then I wrote to
him and he told me
just how to take it.
I took eight bottles.
I now feel entirely
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02
None ON Hand.

Waiter" said the regular customer,
"brng me porterhouse steak and cup
of your alleged coffee. -
Tho waiter went away and was gone
long time
Mister, he said, returning at last hur-
riedly, 1--WE hain't got no ledge coffee in
tho house, SO help me- Won't the reg Ter
kind dor'-Chicago Tribune.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02

My Daughters Learned to Cook.
We used to have old fashioned things, like
hominy and green's;
We used to have Just common soup, made out
Of pork and BEANS
But now its bouillon, consomme and things
made from book,
And pot AL feu and Julienne, since my daugh-
ter's learned to cook.
We used to have piece Of beef-just ordinary
meat
And picked pigs feet, spareribs, too, and 9TH
er things to eat
While now it's fllet, and ragout, and leg Of
mutton praised,
And macaroni au gratin, and sleeps head Hol
landaised
Escallops a la Versailles-a la this and La
that,
And sweetbread Ia Dieppoise-its enough to
kill catl
But while suffer deeply invariably look
As if l were delighted cause my daughters
learned to cook.
We have lot of salad things, with dressing
mayonnaise,
In place of oysters, Blue Points, fricasseed
dozen ways,
And orange roly poly, float and peach me-
Enough to wreck stomach that is made Of
plated brasil
The good old things have passed away, in ST.
lent sad retreat.
We've lots Of highfaluting things, but nothing
much to eat.
And, while never say word and always
pleasant look,
You bet I've had dyspepsia since my daughter
learned to cook.
Court Challis,
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02
Pullman Palace Sleeping Cars

No change is made by sleeping car pas
senpers between San Francisco, Los
Angeles oiSsan Diego and Chicago.
The Atlantic l. Pacific Railroad, the
great middle route across the American
continent, in connection with the rail-
WAYS of the "Santa Fe route" Liberal
management; superior facilities; pic
turesque scenery; excellsnt accommoda-
tions.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02
Got His Bearings.

The Sinner-Yes, parson, love to hear
the church bells on Sunday morning.
Parson-Because 1t tells you 1t is time
to go to church?
The Sinner-Oh, no. When hear that
bell, know that I have about two hours
more Of sleep ahead of me- Syracuse Post.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02
sUNBEAMs.

Jennie has married man who plays
poker. Isn't it dreadful? said Harlem
women to her husband. 1t isn't half as
bad as marrying man wlD thinks he can
play poker, but can't, was the reply,
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02
PrecOciOus.

Father Showing of his baby boy to
bachelor friend)-Well, what do you think
of hims Fine boy, isn't her
Bachelor Friend-Yes, very flno boy,
but he's bald. But then (glancing at ia
theirs bald head), children are not salts
fed nowadays unless they can begin
where their fathers left Of. Tit Bits.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02
Cave and Cliff DweIIers.

View the longest cahtilever bridge 10
America across the Colorado river.
JNo. j. BYRNE,
Gen. Pass. Agt., Los Angeles, Cal.
c. H. SPEERs,
Asst Gen. Pass. Agt., San Francisco, Cal.
q. .. VAN SLYcK,
Gen. Agt., Albuquerque, N M.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02
An Old Fashioned Girl.

Revolt my Myrtle never chose.
Nor comedy gentleness derided.
No cylinders her limbs incl0se;
Her simple skirt is not divided.
She neither swears nor bets nor smokes,
lola she hasn't read word of,
Nor takes delight in doubtful Jokes
Like some young ladies that I've heard Of.
She is not forward in her speech,
Nor yet too silent to be winning;
A kiss for one, smile for each,
Too frank for fear, too pure for SHINING.
She does not overdress, and yet
Is always trim and neat and tidy
Thanks to her mother, pretty pet.
For she was eight months old last Friday.
st. James Budget.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02
His Fruits Shall Follow.

His Fruits Shall Follow.
The books say well, my brothers. Each mans
life
The outcome of his former living is.
The bygone wrongs bring forth sorrows and
woes;
The bygone right brings bliss.
If he who liveth learning, whence woe springs,
Endureth patiently, striving to pay
His utmost debt for ancient evils done
In love and truth alway-
II he shall day by day dwell merciful,
Holy and just and kind and true, and rend
Desire from where 1t clings with bleeding roots,
Till love Of life have end
He, dying, leaveth as the sum of him
A life count closed whose ills are dead and
quit,
Whose good is quick and mighty, far and near,
So that fruits follow it.
Light Of Asia"
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02

First Lieutenant: By Jove, as we were
going over the river on the plank bridge
it gave away and the men fell in. Second
Lieutenant: What did you do! First
Lieutenant ordered them to fall out
of course.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02
Science.

"Bacteriology, said the studious young
man, "has shown that kissing is very dan
gerous.
HAS it?" she rejoined.
"Still, that's only theory"
''And what a pity it is, she comment
ed demurely, "that it always takes such
lot of experiment to prove scientific
theory. "-Washington Star.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02

Bobsled accidents are going out, but a
good crop of drowning will soon be
seasonable, and the snake-bite institutes
are laying in large quantities of the
sovereign remedy.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02
Silent Theater Parties.

Mrs. do Style-I wonder what is the
best way Of arranging theater parties and
the supper for thomf
Philosopher-Serve the supper in the
box during the performance. While their
mouths are full they can't talk.-New
York Weekly.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02

She: Do you make love to every girl
you know, as you do to me? Young Law
yer: Ny dear young lady, you shonld not
ask question that would tend to incri-
inmate the witness,
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02
The Mother Poet,

My mother was poetl
And, though she left no song
To ripple down the centuries
And cheer the world along,
Her soul was full of music,
Her thought was set to rhyme
OF little feet, that kept her heart
A-singing all the time.
She gave herself 90 freely,
Thought had she for us all,
And time to note each flower.
And the first bluebird's call.
Oh, what a wondrous poem
Ia mother duty donei
My mother was q poeti
Pm sure that yours was one.
Mary A. Mason
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02
All One Way.

He-Since have been studying PALMS.
try have examined the hands of over 30
young ladies'.
She-And what did you find outY
He-That they all had negative temper
ENTHUSIASTICALLY Life.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02
He Was Sensitive.

"You are an ignominious ass"
"Look here, I'll not stand that. I'll see
my lawyer and have him sue you for
libel"
IL ought not to have used such Ian.
guage Here is quarter. Let us call it
square.
"No, sir; never! You don't know me.
Whom man calls mslln ignominious ass,
l mover compromise under 50 cents. y
Texas Siftings.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02

He (rapturously): How beautiful you
are! just to gaze into your eyes intoxi-
Gates me. She Tin alarm: Hush-sh-sh
Don't speak Of IL. This 10 a local option
town, and may be arrested and fined.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02
WhOODing Cough.

There is no danger from this disease
when Chamberlain's Cough Remedy is
freely given. 1t liquedes the tough mucus
and aids its expectoraton. 1t also lessons
the severity and frequency of paroxysms
of coughing and insures speedy recov-
cry. There is not the least danger in Civ
ing the remedy to children or babies, as
it contains no injurious substance. For
sale by A. @. ireland, jr.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02
Not Too Liberal.

"How many feet are there In one yard"
Tommy-Well, about 1000 II you count
all the chicken tracks In the new flower
beds in our yard. Chicago Inter Ocean.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02

What!going to leave your place, Bridget
Why, it was only week before last that
your mistress raised your wages. That's
just it, mum. OF am not to be patronized
by the loikes of her.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-05-02

The baby's awful bald, said Mabel.
Yes; they come bald on purpose. If they
had any hair they'd pull it all out, and
then all that hair would be wasted, said
Tommy.