davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12
HUMOROUS.

An Ellinwood (kas.) man offered
the editor of the Advocate a quarter to
sroast" his wife for running away with |
a observation-disclosures Commercial
Gazette.
Not Soothing.-He-"Is this the
first time you've ever been in love, dar-
ling?" She OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES; but
it's so nice that l hope it won't be the
lastr'-Tit-Bits-
Us there much dissipation here?
asked New Yorker of Maine native.
Mary bit," was the reply. why,
the sun can't even dissipate the fog.
Texas Siftings.
| The Husband Seeing his wife Off
You must promise not to ask for
money every time you write" The
Wife-.'But that would necessitate my
writing so much oftener. Life.
-Tommy-"I think / am better at
eating than am at studying" Mamma
why do you think that. Tommy"
Tommy-"Why, because l often miss
MY lessons, but never miss my meals. :"
II notice you never give credit in
your columns" said the captious read
err. NO." said the editor of the Punk
Vile Bngle, but you jist ought to see
INF subscription list. "-Indianapolis
Journal.
-Maud--"Were you overcome by the
heat, Mabel?" .Mabel-''No, dear;
was Frustrated because / couldn't
/ think of a new combination in soda
favor; it surely couldn't have been the
seven glasses / had taken. IN. Y.
, World
An absent-minded young preacher
{ In New England, wishing to address.
E the young ladies of his congregation
/ after the morning services, remarked
. from the pulpit that he would be very
l glad if the female brethren of the con
e gregation would remain after they hat
gone home. -Harper's Round Table.
Don't you," said the summe
boarder, sometimes envy the city PEG
pie who come here with nothing to d.
but rccreate2" NO." replied Farne
Corntossel, 81 dunno's l do. swim
the scythe till ] get right tired ar
g imagine it lorn tennis, an set out o.
/ the front porch ter get bit by the mers
| cutters Ol cVcuiu du indno6O WI 10 '
'boutez good time as the rest OF 'em.
o One of the best stories told by Dea
u Hole in his Memories" is OF an ole
y fashioned cathedral verger, lord {
4 the aisles," who, one noon, found
pious visitor on his knees in the sacre
r edifce. The verger FASTENED up
e, him and said, in tone OF indignar
n excitement: 1.-THE services in this G.
n thedral are at ten in the morning an
at four in the afternoon, and we don
10 have no fancy prayers"
c. Sir Benjamin Guinness, OF Xxx
,e stout fame, was in Dublin and ha
" shown an American tourist St Patrick
" cathedral restored by Guinness. II
schools founded by Guinness" an
a. the brewery founded by Guinness
s. "well." said Sir B., what do you thin
- of that?'' II guess" quoth the Yanke
lii 1T guess I never saw q more remar'
ne able combination of salvation, educ
N ton end iutoxication. Guinness didp
pssk.-Boueeheld Wsrds
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

freouentlv as they ought Statistics
show the clergymen and gardeners at
tain the greatest age and enjoy the
hest health. Undoubtedly the longev-
! ;tv in these two classes is greatly due
to gardening. and its productions ana
The effects 81 these are doing wonders
| for the Sd q 6{1oyment of mankind.
Good Vs. Init, pure water and
air ar 4 Importance; and.
H. + IA. 81 4 ~ lone it would be
The foIlG hote as to the me-
dicinal valu6 81 vegeta bles. by an En-.
rlish authority, may be of interest:
Satisfy is recommended to those who
suffer from biliousness.
Carrots and parsley are powerful di.
uretics.
Spinach has direct effect upon the
kidneys.
The common dandelion and nettle,
used as greens, are excellent for the
same trouble.
Asparagus and sekale enliven tho
blood and keep it pure.
|. Celery acts admirably upon the nerv-
GUS system and is cure for rheuma'
tism and neuralgia.
Beets and turnips are excellent APP
petizers and blood cleansers; likewist
is cabbage.
Lettuce and cucumber are cooling II
their effect upon the system. catel
cooked or raw; the former is said Il
cure jaundice effectually.
Onions, garlic, leeks and shallots, al
of which are similar, possess medical
virtues of a marked character, stimu
iating the circulatory system, and tn
| consequent increase of the saliva an.
. the gastric juice promoting digestion
Red onions are an excellent diuretic
and the white ones are recommended
be eaten raw as a remedy for insomnia
They are tonic and nutritious.
A soup made from onions is regarde
bv some as an excellent restorative ii
debility of the digestive organs
Peas, beans, carrots and parsnips ar
{ very nutritious and fattening.
Watercress, endive, satisfy. mustar
and cress and the tomato are perfe'
= liver regulators.
Grapes are almost as good as quinn
for malarial troubles-indeed, they al
;. "cure-all" for many unpleasant fee
g ings.
y Pineapple relieves sore throat. whil
:, the juice of lemons is a valuable drinl
= A cabbage leaf placed inside. the hi
~ in summer will keep the head cool an
. easy under the influence of burnir
= sun.-American Gardening.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12
A Bears Queer Memento.

A big bear killed recently in the Dead
Indian country, Oregon, was found to
be carrying an odd memento Of pre-
vions episode with hunters, in which
he came off victorious. though not un-
scathed. In the stifle joint of one OF
his hind legs was an unusually large
tusk of a dog which the hunters said
must have belonged to big bear dog.
The tusk was we'll overgrown with
skin, and apparently had been in the
bears le~ many years.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12
VALUABLE VEGETABLES.

The Medicinal Value OF tho Various Prod
ucts OF The Kitchen Garden.
There can be no doubt that many
ailments we suffer from are the results
of abstinence from vegetable diet, or q
too great indulgence in other foods.
Custom has made the potato an essen
tiai at The dinacr table. but other vege-
iabses do set gsd taeig Nsy there u
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12
rob.cco-Twisted Nerves.

Millions of men keep asking for stimu-
,ants because the nervous system Is con-
stantlv irritated by nicotine poison. Chew,
ing or smoking destroys manhood and
nerve power. It's not habit, but olsease'
To ac. sold by Druggists everywhere.
Book free. The Sterling Remedy Co., New
York CITY or Chicago.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12
Tn. Most sensitive Thing ON Earti

Il human nerve. Thisin a state OF health
Let il become overstralned or weaKeneu'
and the sensitiycness is increased tenfold.
For weak or overweight nerves, Hostet-
ter's Stomach Bitters is the best tonic IN
existence. since it invigorates and quiets
them at the same time. 1t also possesses su
perlative efficacy indyspepsia, constipation
maIarial and kidney complaints, rhuema-
tism and neuralgia.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

AdHces Just received at the Nor1e7,
Pacific of3ces, st Paul, Mimi, from MT. y:
p Howe. in charge of the lunch station at
the Upper Geyser Basin, state that the Gey.
sers are playing better than ever; ; anu one
Of the finest in the park, plays to the height
Of $50 feet. Last year its eruptions took
Mace once In about five days and continued
Tor 60 minutes. This year 1t Is playing
oftener. Mr.. Howe is taking the temper
AZURE of the Giantess, another OF the large
Geysers. 1t is also playing frequently and
it, Temperature at the time ranges from
1893 to l9s degrees Fahrenheit BY sending six
cents to CuAs s. FEE, Gen'l Pass. Agent,
st. Paul, Mimi, you car obtain beautiful
Tourist Book that describes the Park.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

WHERE Ir Is FOLLY TO TRUsT.-"Don'f
vol, think the man who marries for money
Ia fool,n He is, unless he gets 1t IN adj
vance. indianapolis Journal.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

Docron- "Madam, much regret TO sa ;
that your husband has appendicitis, WIZ
Nov know where all my raisins nav
zone Truth.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

DoTISe Mamma ito Alfred, who Is strut
ting about in his first trousers)- "Aiircoi
come over here and kiss me-. An IT,,
(firmly)-"No mamma, can't love you any
more. Pm too old"
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

A uour J1usrRArIoy.-She -s'Do you
,h;n,r r. Is true that marriage delights in
c so He-sCertainlyl You know sSs
Won are Continually contrasting me with inc
man You supposed me to be before we were
married ,-Puck.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

"WoGGLEs had lot of money at one Tune
What became of itr' 'sHe blew IL IN,
"Howln "Invested 1t in pnuematic ran
yyay scheme. n-Washington Star.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

DENrIsr-"Thc nerves nre dead; that
what's the matter" Celtic Patient Thin,
be the blessid Virgin, tn dom tooth must be
houllin' a wake over thin l'-Puck.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

FATuER-"What was your mother talking
about awhile agor' Son-"l don't Know
Father."Why, you sat ana ,.i neare II u, al =.
by.n-Chicago Record.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

SAFETY to mother and child and less un-
pleasantness after confinement, result from
use of uMother's Friend. Sold by druggists.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

TRAMp-"Say, boss, could yer give e teller
a dime for q square mealP' Kind Gente,
man-s.C Certainly. II the meal IS gooo
one Where is it9"-Harper's Bazaar.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

"HrcKs has married an armless woman. y
"Did he tell you his reasonsf' Eyes; ne
said that he would never be under any WON
ans thumb. "-Syracusc Post.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

He drew the sword, but not, alasl
His country's foes to baffie, -,
He drew the sword because ne heio
A ticket at a rattle. prd
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

ALEXANDER received more bravery OF
mind by the pattern of Achilles than 6y
bearing the definition of fortitude.-Sir r
Sidney
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

Address the International Children's
Home Society, 234 La Sale ST., Chicago, IL.
iinois, Rev. DR.. Frank NJ. Gregg, General
Manager. Such child as you may desire,
of any age, will be sent you on ninety days
III
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

FORTUNE is ever seen accompanying In
dustrv. and is as often Itrundling In
whceibarrow as lolling in coach ana Blk
= Goldsmith.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

MANHOOD has contempt for cowardice.
That is why you get angricr when you see
the other fellow isn't going to fight.-Piain
Dealer
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

"SuRs, sorr, ORD loike = GIT me name on -,
rho ninsion fist.n "Were you In the army
mo, sorr. but moi sympaties was ennsn'oo
ali troo tn, ."-Harper's Bazaar.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

Tur excessive pleasure we feel in talking
- nnrseivrs ought to make us apprehen-
.ive that we afford little to our audito-s'-
-Rochefoucauld.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

wrrE-"What do youe think Of BndgG;s .;
.ooh;npr, Husband-'.I think II she tried
~ hn;I water shc'd burn it."-Truth.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12
Halls Catarrh Cure
Ia taken internally. Price 75c.

IMAaINATroN is melted horse that Will
break the riders neck, when adonkey would
have carried him to the end Of his journey
slow but sure.-Southey.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

EpocHs of faith are epochs OF fruitful'
ness: but epochs of unbelicf, however gilt
terine. are barren of all permanent GOOD
Coethe
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

He "Do you really think s.,i kissing is ,l.! Is
s,,,;cLed7n The New Woman-"t ID WORSE
man wicked. II is insanitary. "-lndianap-
oils Journal.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

Tr,cHER-"Who was president OF the
first French repubiicr' Scholar "Napo,
leon.n Teacher-"And who was ms wlies
The Class (vociferously - "Irloy'
Rrooklyn Life.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

M yrArrERr, boy! An honest man can
not live by it: It Is little sneaking ftS,
which knaves use to cajole and soften ioois
vithal- Otway.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

A HISTORY will live, though written ever
an indinerently; and it is generally less
suspected than the rhetoric OF the muses.
shenstone.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

TIE man who carries ae0ngle state
Is accounted noy fo1th;
But in early days "a - ias was
The man who cafffAh the eartn.
indianapolis Journal.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

IrsE Piso's Cure for Consumption both n
INV family and practice.-DR y. w. PAT
rEssoS. inkster, Mich, Nov.5, 1884. /
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12

he is always slave who lives beyond MS
means.-Irrigation.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-10-12
Highest Of m in Leavenne Powe-Lates u S Govt Report
Roe! R Rs.dsss
ABSOLUTELY PURE

TVS is the exceuentfoppery of the worlds
that, when we are siss Yin fortune we make
guilty of our disaBtefsthe sun, tne moon,
necessity, fools by frvenly .compulsfon;
lrnaves. thieves and tSs. tchers by spherical
predominance.-S Shakespeare.
Morris tribune., 1895-08-28
THIN FABRICS.
Orsandy and Swiss Vie with Each Other
for Preference.

Orsandy and Swiss Vie with Each Other
for Preference.
Swiss comes in almost as many va.
rieties as organdy. The meshes are
rather too wide to admit of pretty pat
terms in colors, but this difficulty is
surmounted by making the patterns in
silk of the same shade as the ground
work. A dainty pattern has a blue
ground with silk dots and bow-knots
in an all-over effect.
But organdies are finer and come in
such alluring patterns that it requires
firmness of purpose to resist them. An
organdy gown over silk is correct for
the most elaborate occasion. Made
over white silk and trimmed with
Valenciennes lace it is dainty for even
ing wear. For afternoon it is often
made ovess dark silk to match some
tint in the figure.
Modistes sometimes make up for the
lack of flowers in the dotted Swiss by
trimming them with wreaths and
punches of artificial flowers.
One of the sweetest and freshest
gowns of this kind is white-dotted
Swiss made with very wide skirt. 1t
has punches of roses set all around the
bottom at intervals of about ten
inches. The bodice is round blouse
fastened at the waist with belt of
ribbon that ties at the sides and hangs
in long ends. Another bunch of flow
ers is set on at the head of the bow.
A null collarette finishes the neck. It
4 n ~ u
neck, and another around the lower
edge The leghorn hat has frill Of
lace standing up around the crown,
and another which spreads out over
the brim, with velvet band to join
thein.k A bunch.of flowers is the only
other trimming. Chicago News.
Morris tribune., 1895-08-28
SCREWS FOR REPAIRS.
In Most Instances They Are Far More
Serviceable Than Nails.


Serviceable Than Nails.
A good supply of screws, of various
lengths and sizes, should be kept, for
in very many places where nails are
commonly used screws would be very
much better. Screws will hold two
pieces of wood more rigidly than nails;
whereas it is difficult in most instances
to tighten loose work with nails in
places where there is an unusual strain
on the parts to be held together. By
the gross they can be purchased very
cheap and, in the long run, found no
more expensive in many places than
nails. Screws may be made to bold in
soft wood or where the cut has become
too large, by the use of glue. Prepare
the glue thick, immerse stick about
half the size of the screw, and put it
into the hole; then immerse the screw,
and drive it home as quickly as pos
sible. When there is some article of
furniture to be repaired and no glue is
to be had handily, insert the stick and
fill the rest of the cavity with pulver-
lied. resin; then heat the screw sufi-
GENTLY to melt the resin as it is
driven in.
In broken plastered wall the best
plan is to enlarge the hole to about
twice the diameter of the screw, fill it
with plaster of paris, such as is used
for fastening the tops of lamps, ETC.,
and bed the screw in the soft plaster.
When the plaster has set the screw will
be held very firmly. If screws are
warmed and dipped in melted tallow
or raw linseed oil, it will prevent their
rusting and they can always be un-
screwed with ease. A large quantity
of screws can be CREASED in few
minutes, and the operation is one
which will result in great saving of
time and labor.
Morris tribune., 1895-08-28
ALL AROUND THE FARM.

OUR export horse trade is rapidly in
creasing.
SOLITARY confinement in a dark
stable will make a horse vicious.
BREED to suit your market, and not
according to your individual taste.
SEE that the collars fit the shoulders
and that the names ft the collars
IT is estimated that in Oregon.
Washington, Montana, Nevada and
Idaho there are at present 1900, 900 of
half-breed wild horses, for which no
market can now be found.
THERE being no law in this country
against selling or eating the meat of a
horse, the department of agriculture
has decided to prevent deception being
practised by sellers, and has issued.
regulations regarding the exposure and
sale Of horsefesh. II A
HORSES are multiplying in Australia
almost like rabbits, living entirely
upon grass, and never under cover
from birth to breaking. In fifteen
years few hundred have become
million. More than three-fourths of
them are fit for the saddle or light
harness.
CRoss-BREEDING of cattle and sheep
is tolerable and is largely practised,
because, though the progeny may be
lacking in trueness to type and may be
very rough specimens the meat value is
always considerable asset. A misft
In horse-breeding is, however, an abb
soluta loss-N " World
Morris tribune., 1895-08-28

simple and inexpensive protection
for the manure, such as is illustrated
herewith, is not out of the reach of
anyone, however, and with it's use the
manure can be kept safe from all
teaching. The manure is usually
thrown out in heaps by the side of the
barn. A shed roof can be built over
these at small expense. The cut shows
the method of framing. the dotted
lines showing the boarding of the
ends. The only mistake likely to be
made is in getting the roof too narrow,
with the result that rains accompanied
by wind may beat in and wash the
outer part of the piles, which will
spread out upon the ground more or
less, even with careful management.
The outer edge of the roof need be
only high enough that cart can be
backed under it, and being thus low
will aid not little in keeping out the
rain; but even with low roof should
want width of at least twelve feet,
and a good gutter upon the outer edge.
Let the ground be level under such a
shed roof, or, at most, but slightly
sloping, else the manure will be con-
tinually rolling out from under the
shelter of the roof when thrown out of
the windows.
Where such an arrangement is used,
care must be taken to have the cattle
stalls well lighted from the ends of the
barn.-Webb Donnell, in N. Y. Trib-
une,
Morris tribune., 1895-08-28
FARM AND GARDEN.
PROTECTING MANURE.
Webb Donnell, OF Maine, Describes New
England Method.

webb DonnelI, OF Maine, Describes New
England Method.
call it New England method"
for, though it may be practiced else
where, have not in other places OBJ
served its use to anything like the ex-
tent that is to be seen in New Eng
land. This matters little, however.
The main point is to bring the value of
the plan to the attention of farmers
that now permit their manure piles to
be leached by every rain and by the
melting SHOWS of winter, such manure
heaps being usually situated alongside
the barn and directly under the caves
which may or may not have cutters to
carry off the rain that falls upon the
roofs. OF course, those who leave
their stable dressing exposed to such
conditions do not fully realize the loss
they are suffering, for it seems hardly
credible that anyone would be SO ex-
travagantly wasteful if he realized
the truth about the matter. have in
mind now one farm where for sixty
years or more the dressing of from ten
to twenty head of stock has been thus
thrown out under the gutterless caves,
and after every heavy rain during all
that time a thick brown stream has
run down from the barnyard and
coursed along through ravine till it
emptied into a river. Fully one-half
of the value of all the dressing made
on that farm for sixty years has thus
run down into the ocean. AS matter
of fact, I presume that much more
than half of the value has been lost,
for on this same farm the liquid por-
ton of the manure go per cent at
least in value of the whole) has been
allowed to run down through the
"tie-up" floor, instead of being saved
by a tight manure gutter and the use
of absorbents. 1t is just such wretched
management as this which keeps so
many of our farms run OUT and so
many of our farmers discouraged.
There is little enough stable dressing
made on any place, and when this is
leached OF. from so to IS per cent. of it's
fertilizing qualities, it is small wonder
that the crops are meager and that
one crop seems to use up nearly all the
dressing put upon the land, leaving
little for subsequent crops of grain or
grass
Some barns have manure cells where
all the dressing made, including the
liquid portion, can be saved; but such
barns are the exception and not the
rule. Barnyards entirely covered by
one or more roofs are excellent where
+bov con he a ffordad Int IL is ,1Sa1esS
to urge the great body of farmers to
roof over their entire yards for the
of both stock and manure.
Morris tribune., 1895-08-28
The wide skirt Must Go.

Our prayers have been answered.
The heavy, widely-distended skirts will
very soon be thing of the past. They
are an abomination, and ought never
to have been allowed to become fash
ionable. Why, it would take four hands
to manipulate the folds in such way
as to keep the skirt out of the dust,
and when woman tries to accomplish
the task with two her gown is soon
forgotten in her cramped fingers, and
she gives it up in despair. How any
thing so totally unfit to be worn in the
street ever became fashion is mys-
terry to everyone, except, perhaps, those
who manufacture hair-cloth. But phy-
sicians have denounced the heavy lin
ings as injurious to health, and this,
with the men who have patiently tried
to endure the burden for fashions sake,
has brought about decided reaction
against them, and the heavy skirt must
go Philadelphia Times.