The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1895-10-12
STORY OF C-234-M. G..
BY Percie w. Hart.

BY Percie w. Hart.
It is now the forty second day of the
spring season, in the year 5000 A. D.
My name-C-234-M. G., tells the reader
my residence, family and phrenolog-
tcal classification; and when l state
that have reached the mature age Of
ten, any one must realize that l have
something worth telling or I would
never risk the penalty imposed by law
upon the pulpOseless author.
No question but that we have made
long strides in civilization during the
past thousand years for Gf we were to
credit the accounts handed down by
contemporaneous historians) it is very
doubtful if our ancestors at the begin
ming of the epoch had as yet progress
ed any further than primitive electric
ity and aerial navigation.
But there was one great advantage
the ancients possessed. This was the
privilege of publishing a book upon
the slightest pretext, and sometimes,
1t has been recorded, without any pre-
text whatever. In these latter days,
when every subject has been covered,
classified and consummated, it is hard
ly possible to imagine the condition of
literary science ten centuries ago.
There was then complete originality
of thought and word, and a reader
might spend his life in vainly seeking
for exhaustive literature upon any
subject. Instead of the publishing of
a book being an exceptional event, as
now, it is said that one or even two
new books each week was not -uncom-
mon. p - #ss@sf. g - 49, -
But to return to my narrative-I am
a clerk in the Bureau Of Carpet Tacks
Department of House Furnishing, of
D continent formerly North America).
Although my labor is credited to Guth-
rie (rhe governmental center of D con-
tinent) l prefer to reside on c. CONT
nent formerly Africa) by reason of
its superior climatic advantages. as
we'll as the greater selectness of it's
single tax areas. 1 have the reputa-
tion of being honest and Industrious,
and although it takes me nine min
utes to reach my office from my home
via the electric fash system of govern
mental transit, yet I am as regular in
my hours of attendance as those living
within a few hundred miles.
Having recently finished my proper
tion Of individual labor for the COM
mon good during the current year and
received government tickets for the
same, l determined to devote my va
cation to making slow journey
throughout the world. To the gener-
ality of mankind this might seem an
absurd manner of spending a holiday:
but they should remember that youth
and animal spirits cannot always find
relaxation in scientific pursuits.
MY first destination l had determin-
ed should be the newest continent of
all-continent H formerly Antaricana)
and the slow passage thither on an air
ship freighter, was a novel sensation
indeed. Under the most fayora BILE con-
ditions a speed of over 100 miles an
hour was impossible, and the VOYAGE.
although enlivened by numerous we'll
told legends of ships that sailed on the
water, seemed interminable When
we flew over the gigantic system of
mirrors that by DETECTING the rays of
the sun have made a semi-tropical
country out of this erstwhile ice-bound
cc:>st, the air became rather oppress-
i've, but in very few moments we
had reached the elevated landings.
Rapidly spreading my wing-planes I
Jumped outwards from the deck, and
soon reached the ground in safety.
The moving sidewalk carried me
rapidly through the streets, until at
Sracted by the announcements from
the automatOn stationed in front of
the public place of amusement 1 STEP
ped off and went in.
The manager came before the cur
tain, and, in an Introductory speech,
stated that his company would give
faithful reproduction of the wonder
full American allegory entitled "Uncle
TOMS Cabin He stated that in the
days of Mark Antony (or Mark Twain,
as he was sometimes enormously call
ed and Mckinley Bill Immersed au-
diences gathered to witness this pagan
spectacle, and that thousands of ne
groes were torn to pieces by savage
bloodhounds for the delectation Of the
assembled populace. In accordance
with the rudely drawn pictures to be
found in the eXtant copies Of a curious
publication called comic OF comic
weekly. the part of Little Eva was
played by a woman Of advanced years,
and the cakes Of ice were represented
by. specially constructed and labeled
soap boxes.
On leaving the public theater I kept
on the moving sidewalk for a few
miles, and then stepped off and walked
for fully twenty minutes on the road
way. This unaccustomed exertion was
rather -fatiguing, and as night was