The daily morning journal and courier., 1895-06-21
LAND OF QUEER CUSTOMS
PECULLAR EXPERIENCES OF 4
 TRAVELER IN FATHERLAND.


 COnsternation and Disgust.
 Dresden, May 2S, 1895.
 To the Editor of the JOURNAL AND COURIER:
 When was lad I remembeE read ing Tom Hoods unique and humorous account of his trip down the Rhine; he was often in terrible straits even to ob- tain the necessities of life Che did not know one word of the German lan- gUage); when he wished an egg tho poor fellow would clap his sides like a hen Tapped its wings, and after cack- ling like barn-yard fowl, in this way he would communicate his desires to the hotel waiter, and 10! as if by magic a cooked egg would in due time appear; if he thirsted and desired a cooling draught of milk the unfortunate man was obliged to "moo" after the fashion of a patient sober-eyed COW, and what surprised him above all was the as- bounding fact that all the little fellows of five years of age talked so volubly in the German language, while he, a great man of fifty years, could only make his desires known by the ridiculous ges- lures of a pantomime I have often suffered in the same manner as men, tioned above, especially so when I first came into this land of singular customs. After a residence of nearly two years I find myself moving about with con- siderable degree of intelligence, and I am positive that I shall never starve from the fact of not knowing how to ask for bread and water through the medium of the German tongue I can not but smile when think of my un- fortunate experiences soon after land ing in Germany. We had just left the steamer at Cuxhaven (only eight days from New Yorl), and on our way to Dresden, when at eight o'clock on a Saturday night we made a stop at the pretty little town of Roderan, twenty miles north of Dresden. From pas senger I understood that we would re- main five minutes; so jumped down from the carriage and walked leisurely ito a lunch counter and purchased a ssemel init Schinken" and a glass of Munich beer, One minute later the bell rang, the whistle shrieked and there was a general rush. quickly dropped my "schinken" and started full run for my carriage, which was the very last of a very long train. Now the law in Germany is that no one shall board a moving train of cars. It makes no mat fer how slow the train moves, the law must be obeyed. I frantically endeav- tored to jump on the moving cars, and did succeed in gaining the wide step; there stood the huge fiend of Teuton guard glaring and shrieking "Nein! NeinH as I clung desperately to the step he pushed me off and I verify be- lieve that uncouth official would have calmly beheld me ground to death be- meath the trucks rather than to permit "one jot or title of the law to perish" To struggle was useless; away the train flew into the night, and as I be- held the frightened faces of my wife and three children flattened against the window panes felt as desolate as poor old Robinson Crusoe did when the waves flung him on the wild sands of that lonely little island in the great Pa cific ocean. People glared at me by the lantern lights as vainly endeavored to speak in an unknown tongue. I seemed like a bit of ffotsam and jetsam which had drifted ashore from a shipwreck Tn some countries in the olden days, sailors who escaped to shore from a sinking ship were often put to death as soon as possible by superstitious na- tives, and feared the same might hap pen to me. I fortunately discovered a telegraph office near by and sent off two dispatches to Dresden, and imme- diately afterwards Napolenic look ing individual covered with brass but tons epaulettes and wreaths of blue braid. placing his hand on the hilt of an enormous sword. accosted me, and I was made palpably aware that was sswanted" at police headquarters; for the first time in my life was under ar- rest (and the last time trusD; arrived at police headquarters, I was confront ed by my two telegrams, which by that time I supposed had been delivered a the hotel in Dresden. The chief inquisi- for in that chamber of torments could mot decipher the word "wife" in one of my telegrams, Gas I now recall the event do not blame him, for it was a fearful scrawD; oh! how my education had been neglected; for the very life of me I did not know that Frau" was German for wife" My explanations and protestations were lost upon the stern-faced official; his very buttons seemed to stand up in rage. After a long inquisitorial examination of my personal appearance, which at last did seem to pass muster Cbut I think they suspected me all the same of being an