Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1895-12-13

tet seated at the breakfast table when
Mrs. Denim, to the horror OF her husband,
began questioning Mr.. Sharplelgh about
his wife's esoapade and his own purposes
Had he anticipated the possibility of her
doing such thing9 How did he feel about
it2 Had he any idea where she had gone
or II she went alone, or, II not, who ao-
companied herP What had he himself been
doing to afford the immediate provocation
for her leaving himP Would he apply for
o divorceP Would he try to bring her backf
Jack was astounded at his wife's heart
lessness and want Of tact. He could never
have believed her capable of such conduct,
and Miss Meech's manifest enjoyment of
the cruel batting to which his friend was
subjected completely disguised him with
that young woman. In vain he tried again
and again to switch his wife off to some
other topic, but she would not be side
tracked. As for Mr.. Sharplelgh, after q
little evident annoyance at first he bright
ened up and even grew jooose in adapting
himself to Mrs. Denim's humor.
"Bring her baokr" he exclaimed. "To
prove myself a tyrantP Oil no. Where
she is now she may remain the rest Of her
life with my full consent"
Both ladies burst into laughter-laughed
Denim, when she could speak, gasped,
ooh, you must excuse us, Mr.. Sharpleigh,
but your philosophic ohivalry is so funny"
"Annie, I'm amazed at you'll I'm
ashamed of your cried her husband in
dignantly. But she only laughed the more.
"They are quite right, interposed Mr..
Sharpleigh. "Why should they not Taught
You are behind the times, Jack, or you,
too, would laugh. What else are womanly
honor, wifely fealty or hymeneal happiness
than food for laughter How stupid our
ancestors were to reverence such thingsl
We of the century's end are wiser. We
realize that married life is farce in three
acts-love, marriage and elopement. No,
1 should have said four, for there is di-
vorce, in which all the fun olimaxes. That
reminds me. shall start for Dakota to-
night / have time to establish a legal
residence there, turn Mrs. Sharpleigh loose
with due formality and get another wife
by Thanksgiving
ooh, you wretch believe you would
and would be glad of the ohancel" cried a
handsome little woman in a wrapper, en-
tering the room quickly through a door
behind Mr.. Sharpleigh, and, more than
half in earnest, "wigging' his head as
she spoke.
Mr. Denims sprang up with an exclama-
ton of surprise, and the ladies at the table
laughed more heartily than ever, but Mr..
Sharpleigh, with perfect mperturbability,
responded personal violence in presence
of witnesses. My case is perfect. Have
you returned for your bed socksY'
"Bed socks? Oh, Dick You uncon-
scionable villaini To charge me with
such grandmotherly thingsl You know
don't wear them"
"You would have been more oomforta-
BILE last night If you'd had them. That
attic room must have seemed chilly"
"How did you know l was there"
~ suspected that you were in the house
when Jack ana 1 returned from the club
and found the dining room windows open
ed to let the smoke out and left open,
with, before one Of them, the chair or
which you had climbed to pull down the
upper sash. Ny suspicion was confirmed
when looked again at your note and un-
derstood the bubble that 1 could not
"bring you back to this house" 1t be
came certainty when Mrs. Denims, after {
long stay up stairs this morning, camt
down laughing, having been told Of YOU
supposed elopement, and talked to me N
am sure she would not if she hadn't seer
you. And II you were in the house, wher'
else could you hide SO we'll as in the attit
roomP'
"Oh, dear! If I'm SO easily caught il
just little sham elopement, shall neve
have the courage to try a real one"
"But really don't see the object in it,
observed Mr.. Denims.
"Oh, you stupid old jack AS II
woman wouldn't naturally want to know
what her husband would do under certain
circumstances. It's lucky for you neve
happened to think Of it" retorted hi
wife.
Perhaps lucky for you, too" smile
Ethel, "for you might have learned tina
he, too, could figure upon replacing yo
by Thanksgiving.