The herald., 1895-04-29
THE FEAR
THAT HAUNTED MASTER
-s TOMMY

rs iuOStlv utiiSut lliS peers. Ilc WdHltu -
library, the bigger the better and the big
ger the books the better, too, for large
Quarto gave him leave to sprawl prone on
the floor. He read everything. History
for instance Napoleon's savage straight
forward energy-appealed to him. He
aved Hannibal, and had set of opinions
about the Roman emperors derived from
6ibbon. Philosophy, again. He read
Browns long winded, wickedly verbose
misexplanation of everything, and wan
dered vaguely into metaphysics, which
seemed like nightmare land, peopled with
curious hobgoblins and demon words. He
pondercd nightly on the problems of oter
nifty and space. But he was only years
old. and sometimes did youthful things,
such US reading children's books. This he
regarded as weakness on his part, for his
father babe him learn.
His father was a tall, stern man, with
q trick of getting very angry when Tom
my failed to explain what he thoroughly
understood. He had strong way of talk
ing, and occasionally when words failed
him he got stick. 1t seemed very unjust
to the child, but, as he was the only father
the child knew anything about, he came
to believe that being beaten every now and
again was part of the bitter order of the
universe. As undoubtedly it was. One
day Tonmy's father brought home, three
brand new volumes of a very childish kind,
which dealt with geography in feeble
and pictorial manner Tommy got hold OF
them, and, knowing very little of the out
side world, except from Robinson Cru
soe' and the "Swiss Family Robinson"
began to read with some interest. But
they were uncut and Tommy, cut them.
He cut one page, as he imagined, very
badly.
Now, the elder Thomas had one great
fad at least. A book was sacred to him.
He never turned leaf down, or soilcd one
carelessly. To treat a book with disrespect
was immoral Whether this was not
greatly based on a feeling of property can
not easily be said. But the fact remained
that Tommy expected whacking if he
misused single volume. Now, Far Off
was, as he believed, most seriously injured,
and he hadn't the courage to own up. And
he hadn't the courage to tell lies either.
He knew that if his father roared and said,
"Who has spoiled this book" he would
answer, 81 did" So his life became a
misery to him. He put the wretched little
book back in the shelves and fled to his
own room. What should he do?
He went down stairs again and carefully
dropped it behind the others. That salts
fled him for few minutes. Then he i'm
agined his father going to the bookcase
with an ardent desire to study Far Off;
or, Asia Described and unable to get the
coveted volume.
L IL II
say He knew it. So he went back and
put the volume in its place. But he
couldn't rest satisfied and the mangled
pages mangled his peace of mind. He took
no joy in Austerlitz Hasdrubal's head no
longer excited his pity; he couldn't read
Brown on Memory" because he remem-
bered Far Off.
Then the poor little devil had some sis
ters two of whom were as fond of reading
as himself They would also look for
Far Of, and having discovered the ter
rible condition it was in they would either
blurt the fact out or use it after the man
ner of their kind, saying eff you do that,
we'll tell about Far Off, "
When he saw them going into the study,
he went with them to influence their
choice. He pathetically requested them to
read rather about SO Europe" or Africa"
Asia, he said, wasn't interesting Fortu-
nately they cared little about geography,
for one was reading Josephus and the
other, having native carelessness about
facts, was buried in Macaulay. But he
never, never knew when they would sud
denly be consumed with passion for Far
Off.
When his father went into the room,
Tommy sometimes followed, trembling
Often he staid outside and peeped through
the crack of the door. When Charles Lamb
was requisitioned, Tommys heart rejoiced
at the reprieve, even if he were required to
listen to a whole essay read aloud. He
lost all real interest in life. Books had no
charm for him He disliked leaving the
house for fear his crime should be discov-
cred when he was away. He might forget
about it in the sunshine and come back
almost happy, to find the place in a violent
uproar. He grew so thin and pale that his
mother sent for the doctor. Headvised her
to let Tommy go away for time, and
Tommy implored her not to send him any
where. He would try and get fat at home.
In after years Tommy wondered why he
hadn't stolen some money and bought an
other copy. The misery was so real, so bit
teT anu, WOrSb vi all, DIS nc UnOuRnU, so
likely to be found out. But he wasn't n
bad little fellow, after ALL and he never
thought of this plan. He only suffered
for it
Then he was sent away for two years
For more than a year he never heard Of
his father writing a letter without the be-
lief that at last Nemesis was approaching
If his father came to see him, he expected
the end. At last he was nearly ready to
confess his CHASTITY crime. Yet in a year
and more he began to think that perhaps
his father had never intended to read Far
OFF, himself He believed that his sisters
might not touch it. Perhaps if they did
they would be gentle and compassionate
and say nothing, as he had been too long
from home for them to have any little
grudge against him. So Far OFF, began
to fade out of his mind, as any deed may
if it remains unknown.
When he returned home, his people were
in a new house, and many of the books
were still in packing cases. Soon he quite
forgot about it, and other troubles came in
their due order. At Is he left England and
went away by himself He went very Far
OFF, indeed, for the place was China
Tommy worked there many years, and
learned many things not put down in
books for children, nor indeed in those
for men, and at 30 he returned home i'll.
When he was at last alone, he went into
the library, and sat there thinking Of the
child he once knew. He rose and looked
IN, hoe CHI n ff,p u ic ,i1 fria