The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1895-01-16
VARIETIES.

AS you sail through life take pains and steer
Away from the Island that lies too near,
The Isle of Boredom which all men fear.
The Island sets up like shelf of rock.
But woe to the sailor who lands at the dock,
And offers the people chance to talk.
For they talk all night and they talk all day.
And try You will to get away,
They pin you down and they make you stay.
They talk of the things they have done and said,
They talk you awake and they talk YOU bed,
Till you almost wish they would talk you dead.
And the queerest thing, and one to deplore,
About the jewellers upon that shore,
Not one of them knows that he is a bore.
SO steer away from that Island shelf
That is governed they say by wicked elf.
Lest you he a bore and not know it yourself.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox in the Post Express.
He Was Not Court Martiaed.-Lewis Cass, sec
rotary of war. at the White House one
day with some important papers for President
Jackson to sign, among them being a
tial findings. ''Cass what is this?' inquired
Jackson, he about write his name to
the document. ut is a court MARTIAL" answered
Cass What have | do with it % asked the
president. 1T disn!isses officer from the serv
ice, and the president must sign such orders
ingly: Dismiss him from the army, eh? Why?'
Drunkenness; getting dl unk and falling down
on parade, or something of that kind answered
the secretary ''Who ordered the court?' asked
jackson. Gen. Scott answered Cass. who
is it? inquired the president with more interest.
"Inspector- Ceneral Kraun,'' replied Cass.
WHAT shouted Jackson my old friend
Kraun? Cass just read what that paper says
The secretary read the usual form of the court
martial sentence in such cases. The president
then took the paper and wrote across the bot
TOM where he about to sign his name:
The within findings are disapproved, and Col.
Kraun is restored to his duty and rank He
passed the paper back Secretary Cass, and
said, with vehemence: by the Eternal, Cass,
when YOU and Scott serve your country well
as that has You get drunk duty
every day '-Argonaut.
A Strange Costume.-Naval officers tell many
amusing stories of Robert Louis Stevenson's life
in Samoa. He once invited to lunch Oh
one of the warships. He presented himself in
loose, Tapping trousers above his ankles. a short
white jacket, and without stockings. The officers
were in full regalia. But when the lunch was
under way, in the brilliance of his alton
they forgot the nondescript costume and realizod
the honor of his company. At his home they
found the family in native costume. This. n
the part of Mrs. Stevenson. Samoan
Mother Hubbard her hair down and her fee
bare. Mr.. Stevenson and his stepson Wore strip:
OF cotton clOtn WOGnu ABOUT them anu S4loit
slceved knit cotton shirts above. Mr.. Osborne is
very tall and very thin, and his appearance il
this garb something to be remembered. Bu
for gentleman in town Robert Louis Stevenson
would not have gone to Samoa. He had finished
the cruise he had undertaken and was about =
return home when he met this English yachts
man. who advised him that he had not seen tn.
South Sea islands until he had visited Samoa
| Mr.. Stevenson impressed by his account, ans
a visit to Samoa ended in making it his home.
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