The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1895-10-16
WILL FAYE,s CosEr HURT Us?

Faye's comet is going to paint the
world red and planets had better keep
off the road
When NJ. Javelle, Of Nice, discovered
the thing Sept % it was making direct
for this world of ours, and the statisti-
clans have settled it that they are both
due at the crossroads in the immen-
sity of space at the same moment.
Faye's comet travels several millions
of miles every day and is coming with
such momentum that collision with
it could only be compared with cham
pion's blow below the belt Of a light
weight. The power of the conclusion
would be something enormous. as the
force is said to equal several milliop
pounds 10 the square yard.
Many weli-informed astronomers be-
lieve that comets are made up OF gas
eous material, but no matter how
ethereal Faye's comet is, travelling
with such rapidity, it is thought such
a force would badly demoralize our
globe; though, as the New York World
puts it, the Earth when il got its second
wind would step into the ring and put
an end to the comet in a way TO make
Mr.. Faye, its discover, shed bitter
tears. The world might simply roll
over Faye's comet in its majestic
course through space, and ali that
would be left on the track would be
stain in the Ether. But to the folks
on the globe it would make but little
difference what became of those two
bodies after their collision, the heat
would be so great that dogs would
stick out their tongues and pant for
breath, then as it became more intense
in the vain effort TO still further pro-
trude their tongues, would turn inside
out.
The men. according to Camille Flam-
erion, would at first experience a con-
Stunning thirst, which in this locality
would be attributed to the assistant
attorney generals efforts, and then an
inability to eat anything.
The heat will rise, Flamerion says,
until the mercury spouts out of the top
of the thermometer, and as 1t gets hot
ter men try to fry eggs on the sidewalk
and fall over dead.
The temperature continues its as
cent until people start their baseburn
ers and get inside to keep cool.
The air is filled with flying meteors,
and the population rush to the Great
Arkansas river, to find that the gov
eminent has made no late appropria
lions TO make 1t navigable, and in con-
sequence its bed is dry as usual.
There is still some water running in
Chisholm creek, and that now being at
the boiling point is filled with packing
house tea With all these winter COM
forts and the noxious vapors accom-
panying them, the inhabitants find out
what dry town is, and the tempera-
ture rising to 1900 degrees, don't care
TO live any longer, and cease to care
how the comet and world come out.
Faye's comet still continues to swing
In view. with a full head of steam,
pointing straight at US and right up to
schedule time; but some astronomer
has discovered that this world in place
Of being up to date. is pokey and slow |
while the opportunity Of her life is
passing by. So the probability seems
TO be that our world will go bowling
along, with great big American flag |
hoisted on the liberty pole on top, as
Faye's comet crosses our bow, too far |
off to be within hailing distance.