davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-08-05
FORGOT HIS OWN NAME.

Some of the most amusing stories
of the tricks Of memory are those
which illustrate the faculty with which
proper names escape the recollection.
They elude you like creased pigs.
'sThen 1 had it on the end of my
tongue" and 81 recall your face, but
for the life of me can't place YOU"
are so commonly heard as to excite
no comment. "By the way, how do
you spell your name?" inquired a
young lady of an old acquaintance.
She took this way OF recalling, with
out embarrassment, name that had
unaccountably escaped her recollec-
ton. "Sm-i-th," he replied to her
confusion.
1t is related of Joe Jefferson that he
was one day introduced to General
Grant, an event that naturally inn
pressed him strongly. Later in the
day, he got into an elevator of the
hotel at which they were stopping. A
short, heavy set man also got in, lift
ed his hat to jefferson and made some
remark. ct beg your pardon. Your
face is familiar to me, but cannot re-
call your name," said the actor. Gen.
Grant courteously gave his name. 81
got off at the next floor for fear
should ask him if he had ever been in
the war;" jefferson said, in relating
the story.
Worse than that, he once forgot his
own name. He had gone into post
office at some small resort and asked
the clerk if there was any mail for
him.
"What's the name?" asked the
clerk.
shame? Oh, yes, certainly. Why,
let's see! play Rip Van Wrinkle you
know" Jefferson" said the aston
ished and delighted clerk. eyes JEFF
ferson, thanks" he answered polite
ly, as he received his mail and bowed
himself out.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-08-05
Two Corporations Clash.

''This BILL" protested the man at the
window, "calls for So 81 for gas burned
in June, and there wasn't anybody in
the house during the entire month, to
my certain knowledge"
THE meter tells a different story,
sir, . replied the cashier at the gas COM
pany S Office, land we have to go by the
meter; So. "a is right.
"Well, I'll pay it., said the other,
taking out his pocketbook with great
apparent reluctance. "Your name, L
think, is Ruggles. Here is your ice bill
for last February, amounting to So. 96.
We have called your attention to it sew
eral times, but you have always refused
to pay it on the ground that you did not
know any ice was left at your door dur
ing that month and you didn t need it.
1t wasn't our fault if you didn't know
it. The books show that the ice was left
there, and we have to go by our books
The difference is 80 cents, and if you
will just hand over the amount
Here they clinched. Trib-
une.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-08-05
Bikes and Books.

The latest charge brought against the
bicycle is that it Injuries the bookseller s
trade. Books never have the same sale
in summer as in winter, despite the fact
that paper covered novels are in demand
by the loungers at the seashore, but this
year there is said to be more than
usual depression in the trade. The
wheelman is blamed for this, as it is
logically argued that while INDUCING
in his favorite pastime he cannot posi-
bly, be reading book, and that when he
gets home from his spin he is too tired
to read. AS the cycling craze is con-
stantly increasing, the result of its
growth upon literature would make an
interesting study.-Philadelphia Rec
ord
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-08-05
WHEELS OF RESTAURANT REFORM.
Made to Spin by a Jealous Lover of Truth
Tn Tempting Signs

| A refor1nar, with cast iron principles
| of is1stice. cas-, find plenty of odd Jobs to
fill in his STARE moments. Firmness. to-
gether with a judicious display of con-
seuuentia1 Importance, will often make
the laws of corporations totter. and a
pat argument bring them to the ground.
There was a sign in the window of a
New York ice cream "parlor' reading,
city our strawberry ice cream with the
Strawberries frozen in When those
cooling words caught the eye of the re-
former on a recent hot day, his wilted
spirits revived and he entered the place
radiating peace and good will.
strawberry, he said confidently,
beam;ng upon the presiding Hebe Then
he sat back and thought how good the
frozen strawberries were going to taste
When the dish was brought, he scanned
it closely, but failed to see any material
signs of the berries
tsWhere are the strawberries?'' he ask
ed, the genial expression giving way to
one of stern inquiry.
'3There amt none in dish cream, -
said Hebe. ''Only our quart bricks has
the Strawberries frozen in -
"What do you mean, Them said the
customer, humping the floor with his
stick, .'by putting such a sign in the
window? That is promise that this
firm is bound to fulfill. I want some
cream with Strawberries frozen in I
insist upon having it. If the public in
general consents to be bamboozled by
that fake sign, I don't; so run right
along and get me some frozen strawse
ries. -
IT tell you we don't sell it by the
plate, said Hebe, who was Beginning
to show symptoms of hysteria.
.I'll have a plate of it, said the
man, cor the firm must take in that
sign and make me an apology"
The girl then left the field to the pro-
prietor, who approached the customer
with a conciliatory smile.
Every sorry, sir, said he. fbut we
are just out of strawberry ice cream.
"Does the sign come DOWN."
cit does. -
And now the reformer goes three
blocks out of his way to pass that store
for the sake of experiencing again the
satisfaction of an accomplished purpose.
New York Herald
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-08-05
Actually Stealing Wind.

"Say, officer, I wish you'd drive
those hoboes away or run them in, - re-
quested the manager of a Market street
cyclery. They're hanging around the
door trying to steal our air all day long. f"
"Trying to steal what:'
"Our air-what we use to blow up
pneumatic tires with.
"Do you fellows own the air here?
Did you rent it with the premises?
You'll be accusing somebody of running
off with your sunbeams next. suppose
those hoboes grab handful of air when
you amt looking, jam it in their pock-
cts and run, eh?''
"Well, if you don't believe it, just
come back here and watch. -
The clerk led the way to the back
part of the establishment, where he
and the officer concealed themselves
behind curtain. In moment big
tramp peered in at the door, mopped
the perspiration from his face, slipped
up to the little rubber hose attached to
the air compressor in the basement,
thrust the nozzle into his steaming col
lar and turned the stop cock. The wind
whistled through his clothes, and for a
moment he was the picture of content
ment. Before he could get cooled off
two more were anxiously waiting their
turn at the nozzle.
The officer took him to the city prison
and wanted to charge him with petty
larceny for stealing air, but had to make
it disturbing the peace. San Francisco
Post.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-08-05
GEN. MILES, POKER STORY

1t was time when stakes we're high,
and it happened in the spring of 1865
on the day when the rebels were in
full retreat from Richmond toward
Danville. That day we overhauled
and captured a Confederate wagon
train, and found, greatly to the de-
light of the boys, that several of the
wagons were loaded with Confederate
bonds and counterfeit bonds, and
| Confederate money in transit from
the Confederate treasury department
| in Richmond to wherever the govern
ment now on wheels, might make it's
last stand. The soldiers simply help
ed themselves to the bonds and the
money, and the officers did not care
to deprive them of the spoils to which
they were richly entitled. At night
we knocked off work for supper and a
few hours of rest and sleep. 1 had
occasion to ride along the line, and
found, greatly to my amusement, a
every camp fire. Stopping to watch
one of the games, this is what heard:
elbow much is the ante?"
ga thousand dollars"
"And how much to fill?'
give thousand
"Well, here goes. I raise it ten
thousand
"Good; I see you and go you ten
thousand better. Twenty five thous-
and to draw cards!"
Then cards were drawn, and pres
emily bet was made of fifty thous-
and. Fifty thousand was the limit.
However, there was $4,000 in the
pot when it was hauled down by
the winner, who had three treys and
pair of jacks. I expressed my sur
prise at the size of the game, and told
the boys that they had better go slow
or their funds would run out.
''Never fear, General replied one
of them, eve will keep within our
means You ought to have been here
just now Why, we had jack pot of
81 200, 000.'
ct think you will agree with me-"
continued Gen. Miles, "that no bigger
poker game than this was ever play
ed, and for my part l am sure that
Confederate money never served a
better purpose than to amuse those
Union soldiers in that resting hour in
that most wearing of brief cam
paigns.'
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-08-05

The duties of the bride maid were
in olden times more important than
at the present day. She attented the
bride elect in her shopping expedi-
tons and helped direct the invitations
if these were used. She also helped
to dress the happy maiden, and made
herself particularly entertaining to the
guests in waiting upon them and put
ting them at ease. 1t is said that the
bride maid was often the one who had
the best time at a wedding, and it
frequently happened that she captur-
ed husband for herself, as the Eng
lish termed it, and if she did not do
this much she was looked upon as un-
attractive indeed. An English super
stition is that the maid must throw
away the pins used in the BRIDES toll
ct, or else evil fortune would follow
her, and she who kept any of these
need not hope to become bride be-
fore the following Whitsuntide.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-08-05
Getting the Money.

Father-He says he loves you, but
can he support you in the style you have
been accustomed to?
Daughter-Evenb better, father. dear,
If you will just furnish the money.
That is all that discourages him.-Kan-
sas City Catholic.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-08-05


Rev. Bodell, who used to preach
Methodist doctrines out West was
what is called ga jack of all trades"
While he was living at Newton, it was
related of him that a young runaway
couple, seeking to get married, came
to the ferry at that place and called
for the ferryman, when Bodell re-
sponded and put them across the riv-
er. While doing SO the young man
inquired for blacksmith, as he want
ed some repairs made on his buggy,
Bodel replied
II am blacksmith, and will repair
it,"
The young man next inquired for a
hotel to stop at. Bodell replied
"Come with me; L keep the hotel,
and will entertain YOU"
The next inquiry was for the clerk
of the court of ordinary in order to
procure marriage license. Bodell
answered.
81 am the clerk, and can issue Ii
cense."
He finally inquired for a minister to
perform the marriage ceremony. The
man of many occupations was again
equal to the emergency, and inform
ed the would be bridegroom
81 am minister, and will perform
the ceremony"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-08-05
His Gentle Hint.

Mr.. Spriggins (gently)-My dear, a
Kensington man was shot at by bur
glar and his life was saved by button
which the bullet struck.
Mrs. Spriggins-Well, what of it?
Mr.. Spriggins (meekly) Nothing,
only the button must have been on
Pearson's Weekly.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-08-05

If the children want pets, pray in
dulge them, but insist upon their TAX
ing sole charge of them as well as Civ
ing them the best OF care.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-08-05
A q

While building our New Stor(
we shall endeaVor to carry gu
usual full line of goods, and Car
be found just 42 feet north o
where we have been doing busi
ness for the past 10 years.
Barron & HambIGt, : Barton, Vt
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-08-05
knights of the Maccabees.

The State Commander writes us from Lin
colin, Neb., as follows: ''After trying other
medicines for what seemed to be a very OBJ
stinate cough in our two children we tried
DR.. Kings New Discovery and at the end of
two days the cough. entirely left them. We
will not be without it hereafter, as our exper-
fence proves that it cures where all other
remedies fail" Signed F. w. Stevens, State
Com. Why not give this great medicine
trial, as it is guaranteed and trial bottles are
free at H. G. Pierce's drug store. Regular
size SOC and ST.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-08-05

The state of Kentucky, including blue
grass land, blooded horses and 'bbacco,
is worth 1870, 743, 384.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-08-05

OF the four thousand criminals who
have passed through the Elmira Re-
formatory, 1877 per cent were the
children of drunken parents, with the
probability of Ill per cent to be add
ed, making 1913 per cent of the Grim
inals who had been prisoners there
the victims of hereditary alcoholism.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-08-05
AMBITIOUS WOMEN
She VIII Brave Anything for Oh
Man She Loves.
tsrrolAL TO oun LADY nrAprnsl

When an ambitious woman lovcI
man she will spur him TO heroic cnd
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-08-05

GiUen up by tloo Doctors. Read aohGt Mrs.
Annie HOyt, of Letete, ". B., says: by tJe
saUed by taking SAG bottles Of Dr. Thomp-
sons SGrsa pGriLLG, the Great English REM
edy- She Says:
was given up TO die by two celebrated doc
tors. Thirteen months ago was a great suf-
ferer with a sore ankle and leg. Could not
bear to touch my foot to the floor 1t grew
every day and my leg from the knee to
the ankle, began to turn black and mortlfy
/ had to take to my bed. After a time the sore
flesh away, leaving the bone bare. sent for
the doctor at ST George. He came, examined
me and left Il wash and salve which used,
receiving no benefit. After short time
sent for him again and he brought another
doctor with him for consultation. They de-
cided that the only way to save my life was to
old lady of sixty seven, the chances would be
decidedly against my surviving the opera
ton, when L was wasting away to shadow.
would not allow them to do this. short
time after this, neighbor advised me to try
DIR. ThOmpson'S SarSapariila, the Great
English Remedy. Said it would purify my
health and the would heal. 1 sent for six
bottles. commenced using it and began to feel
better from the start. My leg began to heal
and my general health began to improve;
after using the six bottles, the sore healed up
and / could bear my weight on the foot,
could walk around the house. Just think!
For over thirteen months had not been able
to touch my foot to the ground or leave my
bed, and have since then walked two miles
without resting. 1t is truly wonderful how
well am today. This great blood purifier
saved my life and it gives me great pleasure
to testify so. Any one wishing to know fur
ther OF my case. write me and with pleasure
will furnish any further testimonial if by
doing some poor sufferer may be benefited
MRS. ANNIE HoYT.
Letete, n. B., Sept. l, 1874
FOR SALE
C. C. GROW, Barton.
o51 E. E. FRENCH, Glover.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-08-05

ambition come with perfect health,
vanish before sickness and despair
American women are, unfortunate
particularly subject TO those painful
male diseases that are the cause of
much hopelessness and misery
Could all women realize the und,
able fact that they suffer unnecossar
how much brighter life would bel
Lydia +. Pinkham devoted her lif,
the study of female diseases and n
cause and she discovered I'm the We
table Compound an absolute remedy
succeeds i'm removing the cause of
trouble.
Women who rely more upon their O
natural cOmmon-sense, rather than
the theories of their physicians, WRIT
Mrs. Pinkham, az Lynn, Mass, and
soon restored TO health.
Here is a living example: " III
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-08-05

he riRor|
Oxen MOI
.couraPcl
ing dang
almost
surniOti
able
Wornl
arc by
turo an
tious
corling
their h
steal a
Hone
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-08-05

months ago /
was unable TO
stand on my
feet. 1 had
falling of the
womb, kidney
trouble, and
Inflammation
of the bladder;
the backache
and bearing
down pains
were dreadful.
me no relief.
II. PinkhdB's
Well, L did.
woman would
be cured, cured
as / ami" NJ
Seymour St., p
Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1895-05-01

Kimberly In planting the British Nag
and extending British rule over Nj
carngua Is admired and applauded Nv
every loyal subject OF the queen and
Will secure for yau the love and re-
spect OF all true Englishnien.
1.-THE people of the United States
will view with satisfaction the pre-.
paration which you and Lord Kimberly
are making to present the claims OF
American subjects who In the interest
of the mother country consplred 10
overthrow the Republican government
OF Hawaii.
"The fact that the conspirators were
unsuccessful aggravates the crime OF
the republic in .maintaining its con-
sututional government and furnish
Ing you and Lord Kimberly ample JUS
tification for demanding impossible re-
paratlon to make an excuse for plant
ing the British flag and extending the
British rule over the only remaining
outpost on the Pacific where military
establishment by an unfrlendly power
would menace the commerce OF the
United States.
The ob,sct lesson OF your broad
and comprehensive Craftsmanship is
already instructive. When you have
fully secured the protection of England
for our extended sea coast on both
oceans and the construction OF the
Nicaragua canal at the expense OF the
United States for the benefit of Great
Britain, your economy will be appre-
ciated.
Although the policy OF relying on
British craftsmanship Ia not new. YOU
have enlarged and illustrated and ear
ried into effect that policy In such a
manner as to make the American peo-
pie realize that the sovereign power
to coin money and maintain a Imam
clll policy Of our own ls Inconsistent
with that OF hrotherly love and cordial
submission which we owe to the coun-
try that gave birth to our ancestors,
and to whose fostering care we are
indebted for life, with such liberty as
the mother country VIII graciously be-
stow"
May we indulge the hope that your
hdenty to the British crown has secured
you such influence as VIII enable YOU 10
induce the mother country to take
charge OF and regulate our commercial
relations in such a manner ms will re-
move all the unpleasant and unnatural
disasreements between the two conn
tries toward tarlr legislation. Why
should England be more unwilling To
regulate our customs dues than 10
manage our foreign relations and TO
control our financial policy?
Keep an eye single to the glory and
the renown and the imperishable name
you VIII leave to posterty by achiey
Ing union OF 125.00O0O0 of English
speaking people under the benign and
unsclilsh rule of the British crown"
Yours respectfully
WILLIAM NJ. STEWART"
Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1895-05-01
eREENvILLn BUDGET.


Greenville, Tex. April 3O.-Claude
Childresa, the little boy that was
burned yesterday afternoon from the
explosion OF can Of coal oil. may
recover, though his face and hands
are very badly burned. The house,
which was totally destroyed, with it's
contents, was Insured for $3.50. T.. =. Eight
county convicts broke out of the Gala
boose on the poor farm seven miles
north of town last night and escaped.
Seven OF them were carried out there
yesterday afternoon and went TO work
at once TO effect their escape. They
set fire to the floor of the cage about
10 o'clock. This was discovered and
put out. The keeper then came to
town for more guards. leaving young
man in charge He went to sleep, and
when the keeper got back at o'clock
this morning he found that the pris-
oners had torn the bars out of n win
dow and all but two of them were gone.
Hounds were put upon their tracks,
but they have not yet been caught.
Those who escaped are; Doc Abbott,
theft. Jim Mccarthy, theft; Peter Ry-
an, carrying pistol; steve Coffey gam
ing; May Robinson, theft; Rome Mat
thews, carrying pistol; George Morrell,
a. A. and b. Jim Davis, theft.
Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1895-05-01
A SERIOUS CRISIS
Now Impending Between Japan and
Russia.

London. April SO.-The Times will to-
morrow publish n dispatch from Kobe
dated April 20 saying that there is no
installing the fact that there Is evil
dence that there is serious crisis in
the relations between Japan and Rus
sta.
But the correspondent adds, the Jap
anese press has been forbidden to re-
fer to IT, and four newspapers OF To-
klo, including the semi-oflicial Nichi
Nichl, have been suspended for re-
porting the fact that a secret council
of the ministers was held, The other
newspapers in which reference TO the
crisis appears are defaced.
Continuing, the Times correspondent
says;
Information reaches me from a re-
liable source at Hiroshima that the
ministry has adopted resolute at
tltude against Russian dictation. They
deny Russias right to interfere, and
even contemplate a defiance of Rus
sla, believing that the Russian mill
tary forces in the East are not pow
erful enough to enforce her demands.
The foreign warships are assembling
at the ports OF Japan and the French
vessels have been ordered to prepare
for emergencies.
Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1895-05-01
LEXINGTON RACES.

Lexington, KY Aprn so.-First race
Selling; s-year-olds and up; seven
and a half furlongs: Nance won, Pro.
pasco second. Royal Prince third. Time.
1885 IT,.
Second racc-3-year-old and up; six
turlongs: The Commoner won, Buck
Massie second, Alabama third. Time.
Third race-rho Pepper stakes; 2
ycer-old hlllles guaranteed value. Si25O,
Tour and half furlongs; Amanda
Vrurner), to /, coupled with Leila Dell.
won driving, by half length Merry
Ihought, ll5 (Afnrtin). to I. second;
brSee Girdle, lib dsaac Murphy. to
], third, Time. .57.
Fourth race--Handicap mile and n
es,,Ssts1nth' La Joya won, Girdle second.
Mickle third. Time. 1.as i-2.
fiitn race-2-ycar-olds; four and a
half furlougs; Essie won, Ben Elder
second, Pollock third. Time. ;56 ga.
Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1895-05-01

Roby, Ind, April s0.--First race
Six furlongs; Lady Rose won. Aspen
lis S-4.
Second race-Mile and an eighth: De-
ceit won. Uncle Jim second, Tattersall
third. Time, 2,Ol 1-e.
Third -I1leven-sixteenth OF a
mile; Colo won, La Gartia second,
Caesar third. Time, tli So.
Fourth race--lcive and one-haif FUR
longs FoShall won. Barguard second.
Melnerney third Time. i'll "a.
Firth roce--SiX furlongs Ellie T won,
l:1S.
Echo, entered in the second race
turned out to be a ringer" his marks
showing him 90 be w h. who was
stolen from Jerome park Janaury 20
and FOR whom a reward OF $1,000 had
been offered by his owner. W. j. Mortg.
Echo's price was 40 to / and he was
played heavily In an foreign books
throughout the country. He was left
at the post, however.
Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1895-05-01

San Francisco, April SO.-First race
Half mile; maiden 2-year olds. Tiny
NJ won, Lady Gray second, Caldwell
third, Time. 5l5 ii.
Second race-SlN furlongs: selling:
Del Nortc won. Norhllch second, War
rago third. Time, i17
Third race-,Short six furlongs. Sill
yer won. Gypseite gc;ding second. In
herman third. Time. ZIG IA.
Fourth racc-SiN furlongts; inside
course; Joe Cotton won, sir Walter
second, Charmcr third. Time, 20 "a.
Firth race=-Miie; selling. Royal Flush
won Claudius second, Ccnturian third.
Time, lA5.
Sixth race-lIalf mile; 2-ycpr-old mai
dens; Monitor won. Zcla second, senn-
tor Mnhoney third. Thne, 80 IA.