Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1895-08-15
CONFIDENTIAL RELATIONS
should Always Erist Between Mother and
y Daughter. ff

BhouId Always Exist Between mother an"
gf.t Daughter.
IN this era Of change the girl al
acme, seeing other girls abroad earn
ing money and spending 1t, developing
their powers, winning success, recoRni-
tion, sometimes fame, and at ali events
what looks like happiness, feels that 1T
is impossible for her to remain placidly
among humdrum duties that others
could perform MS we'll at less sacrifice,
others who could perhaps be paid with
d tithc of what she might earn II she
had her way II she gives voice to her
unrest, she is frequently feproached
for her unwomanly spirit, her premises
are denied, and her conclusions
ridiculed, and help TO change the cur
rent o. her life is refused For the
hope of almost every mother Is to see
her girls do exactly as she lid, repeat
her experiences, her triumphs, her
happinesses; and even II she herself did
not find happiness, then, In the
revenges OF time, she is all the
thore sure that happiness win
come to her daughter. She can
hot rid her mind OF the idea that TO be
womanly is to do exactly what all
Women have done before, and no more
Ito go to church, to visit the poor, to
embroider, to find the tranquil care Of
household affairs contenting, and the
small gossip of the neighborhood ex-
citing; to await lovers, to give small
sign of knowledge of their existence
till they arrive, to wear at last a soli-
taire betrothal ring, IL that may be,
to be married in white satin and with
q tulle veil, wedding breakfast, and
o caterer-all that seems to the mother
the proper part id life for her girl to
play, and the only one that satisfies
herself. II by chance the daughter of
this timid mother wishes to go out in
the world, to have a studio, to go 10
college and have a profession, to bor-
fow d capital and enter business, she
is Mortified, she has no organs Of com
prebension OF such wish on her
child's part; what she does coripre-
hehd is the state Of mild Of tile
proverbial hen which has Matched d
duckling that will take to the water.
Now to some extent the mother has
herself to thank for the trouble which
has ovcrtalsen her when the girl rebels,
thinks herself oppressed, begins to
have her own opinion OF her mothers
poor spirit, limited sphere, and narrow
outlook, Long and long ago she should
have made herself the friend and init
mate of her daughter, no matter at
what trouble. She should not have
allowed herself to be conferred in her
own more personal affairs, in the con-
duct Of the household, the placating
and pleasing of its master, the enjoy
ment of her husbands society, letting
her children in the meantime rely upon
others, especially upon younger com
panions, for that for which, If she
could have forgotten herself at first,
she would have found it repaying her
at last. From the very beginning, II
she could have withheld unwise re-
proof, II she had maintained an upper
ceived oversight, and close acquaint-
ance with her daughters doiugs
that would have made reproof
unnecessary, had shown her inter-
est, and given her full sympathy,
had realized that the leading of this
new spirit was the task that belonged
to her before any pleasure or any 9TH
err task, had made herself agreeable,
besides being so dear, had made her
self close and sympa thetic, then the
child could not have q thought apart
from her. In this way not only would
she have directed the girl by her in
timacy with her, and with her school
mates too, in her own way of think
ing, but she would have advanced
with the girl, moreover, would have
been able to take up new things with
her, and to modify them If they went
counter to her feelings. In short, II
she had maintained deep and true
friendship with her daughter she
would never have been made to suffer
from misunderstanding, contempt, a
headstrong will, she would never have
been made to feel that her daughter
regarded herself as superior being,
and her mother as a mere accident OF
her existence. Where 1t was a
matter of education, even II
she had not had time fol
study, il she had interested
herself, she would have ac
CURED sympathetic information, she
might have kept her daughter, at
tanned new ideas, and possibly have
been swept herself into the larger cur
rent with her For If the truth were
told, every mother would rather &C
with her daughter into the unknown
into the life that in her own you'll
would have seemed bohemian and ir
regular, rather than live without hel
in intense responsibility, provided she
were convinced it was not wrong ant
ruinous to her daughter. For the con
fdence of friendship in growing and
changing era with one whose young
Elasticity felt the growth and chang,
easily, would have enlarged her to al
that her daughter could become, an(
while her sympathy would have mad,
the daughter obedient to her repres
sion or her spur, she would have founc
her own account in it at the same time
-Harper's Bazaar.