Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1895-01-25

teresting and ,mewhat stilted fashion
peculiar to Hoyle's games, or Roberts
rules of order. It is a pronounced di.
gression from the tiresome style OF
p~hraseology which is employedl by too
many of the leading writer's of the period
"a savory highly favored and appetizing
dissemination, with all the fascinating
piquancy and pungency Of a tabasco
sauce, and is partaken of with the same
peculiar relish which accompanies the
discussion of an olive.
TEose who desire to absorb, as it were,
the rules and regulations prescribed by
the learned and experienced general,
who is past master of the hounds, lord
of the steeple chase and grand keeper of
the brush: in the fascinating recreation
of pig chasing, will turn to the report of
the general, page Al. The rules will be
found embodied in a communication to
the states attorneys of North Dakota.
The article does not appear under any
faring headlines, nor is it emblazoned to
the world under any such caption as
"How to catch blind pigs-being a con-
else, complete and correct resume of the
different rules and regulations, employed
at different times during the Christian
era, and compiled from the opinions of
leading statesmen and sportsmen of all
ages, as to the approved methods for the
sharing and final capture of these elusive
animals" But the yearner after knowl-
edge should not cease to yearn because
the rules are modestly presented, in
plain black and white. He will find that
their worth and merit are not dimmed
by the omission of large type and colored
ink. That they possess all the sound,
nutritive value of a beef tonic, combined
with the broad, all.encompassing scope
of the Russian cactus.
Rule l, which outlines the preliminary
location of the game, the careful prepa-
ration of ammunition, ETC., proceeds as
follows:
Ii you can get suitable deputies. which
will require eight, you will make a stimuli
taneous raid on them all. This is a very
important part. First, in the class of men
to be selected as deputies. Don't take any
chumps. Get men of nerve, who are not
afraid to knock down, if necessary.
The wisdom of this rule cannot but be
apparent to any one in whose breast
the instincts and impulses of the sports
man throb and thrill all unrestrained.
What business has a chump to ride with
the hounds at a pig chase? What
chump a appreciate the delicious &C.
stacy Of the chase, as, armed with a
large demijohn of liquid glee, he careers
madly over the greensward in wild pur-
suit of the fleeing pig? What chump
a swell With conscious pride as choked
and fatigued and painting and perspiring
with the chase he finally secures the pigs
brush and waves it proudly aloft in vic.
tory? Echo answers, not one.
The knock down act, too, is impor.
tant. Although explicit instructions
are not given in the report, it may be ex
planned that as soon as the pig is started
and the pack is in full cry after him
the deputies should begin at once te
knock down everything in the till, to-
gether with all of the liquids which car
be consumed before the pig is captured
This may be accounted for under the
head of breakage and leakage.
Rule 2 reads as follows:
Before the raid is made have the depu
ties especially instructed to close all doors
front and back, and tell what they have
orders from the court, and the first thing tt
do is to seize a bottle OF whiskey and hold
it, and they want to taste it as soon as they
get hold of it, to know that it is whiskey.
1t will be seen from this that no pro
hibitionists can te used for deputies.
What is needed is a class of men who
have large, fully developed abdomens
and who are critical judges of rea
Mountain Dew. Closing the doors viii
keep out all outsiders who may rush il
to help test the spirits, and will give the
deputies a clear field of operations. Eact
man should remove his coat as soon al
the doors are locked and the curtains
drawn, and begin without delay to taste
his discoveries. Seltzer water or sof1
drinks may be easily spat out, it tastec
by mistake. No bottle in the place
should escape the tasting process, and il
an exceptionally good grade is found il
should be passed around. After the dep
uties have finished, they may be take1
at once to court as prima facie evidence
of the results of the raid.
Rule 3, which sets forth the dangers
Of a poor grade of deputies, says:
"Here at Bismarck we had a lot of pro
hibitionists for deputies who were regular
chumps. They went into the places ant
stayed until word could be sent to The cir.
Gus, half a mile away, when some OF the
proprietors came pell-mell, called then
into the street. or pretended they couldn't
read, and got the deputies to read the in
iuporiou noporc IN thom uhilo q 6roxr wos