The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1895-04-24
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.
- Promises made to self should be
as binding as those made to others.


Promises made to self should be
as binding as those made to others.
1t is always best for a man to
keep his temper. No one else wants
it.
The man who is willing to learn
one thing at time will soon know
mulch.
When the best things are not
possible, the bestmay be made of those
that are.
Two thousand patents have been
taken out in this country on the man
facture Of paper alone.
= In the Argentine Republic drunk
ards are sentenced to sweep the streets
for eight days.
The best way to get ones cup
full is to praise the Lord for what he
has already put in it.
Sadie: "When are you going to
ask papa ?''' Dick: "Just as soon as
he has rheumatism in both legs and
can't move"
Keep your thoughts pure. If
the fountain is pure, so will the stream
be.
- It is the close observation Of lit
tie things which is the secret of sue
cess in business, ia art, in science,
and in every pursuit in life.
Mr.. Greely said that tho solution
of the question whether woman is
equal to man depends upon who the
woman is and who the man in.
-"Oh, doctor, how do you do /?
You look killing this evening
"Thank you, but I'm not. I'm Oft
duty, you know"
"A Leavenworth man swallowed
some Mexican jumping beans for
quinine capsules, and he said he felt
like hailstorm inside.
- An adult has ordinarily twenty
eight pounds Of blood, and at each
pulsation the heart sends ten pounds
through the veins and arteries.
"A traveller who has been as far
south as Patagonia, and as far north
as Iceland says that mosquitoes are to-
be met with everywhere.
The Chinese government leyies
a regular tax on beggars, and gives
them in return the privilege Of beg
ging in certain district.
1t is calculated that in large;
ocean steamers more than 5000 arti-
cles Of glass and china are broken on
every voyage.
Claude: "Did you get April
fooled ?" Wawbert Dang it, yes.
Claude: Chow 2" Wawbert: 81 pro-
posed to three girls and every one of
them said yes"
Gussy-"Why do you SO persist
emily wear the hair Of another woman
on your head ?" Beatrice-sFor the
same reason that you wear the skin OF
another calf on your feet.
She-"I know I'm cross at times,
John, but if had my life to live over
again I should marry you just the
same" He-"I have my doubts
about that, my dear"
"A man brought a divorce suit in
Oklahoma on the ground that his wife
deceived him regarding her beauty be-
fore marriage by using face powder.
- Mamma-Robbie, did you divide
the orange in equal parts between your
little friend and yourself? Robbie
Yes'm. I give him the outside, and
I took all the inside. =
Wife Ito unhappy husband): II
wouldn't worry, John, it doesn't do
any good to borrow trouble" Hus-
band: Borrow trouble? Great Cae-.
sar, my dear, amt borrowing trou-:
BILE; I have it to lend.
Sweet girl-'Papa says you can't
afford to marry" Ardent youth
"Nonsense I can get preacher to
perform the ceremony for two dollars. =
Sweet girl-"Can you? How foolish
papa is.
Center county, Pennsylvania, has
a man who claims to have telescope
eyes," He can tell the time by the
town clock when separated from it by
q d;eionce of two miles.
1t is said that man at Hem
iug's Corners, Tenn, shrinks once
lonth from 180 to ITO pounds and re-
,ins in that condition for week,
ter which he regains his original
weight.
"Fact u.s." said the one man, Il
married because was lonely, as much
as for any other reason. To put it
tersely, I married for sympathy"
"Well," said the other man, "you
have mine.
Johnnie "Whew This medi-
cine you have to take is awful tasting
stuff" Jimmie "Well, I'm glad of
it," Johnnie "Why 2" Jimmie :
"I'll have to eat lot of things to
take the taste out Of my mouth.
Mrs. Upptowne-Dr. Storkman
was telling me that he never saw the
ike of girl babies this year. Of 18
blessed little strangers on this block
not one was q boy. Mr.. Upptowne-
Well, it only goes to prove what say
this is the age Of the coming woman.
She-"Why do you look so un-
happy, George Don't you know that
we are one now p George-SeYes,
darling, I know that; but judging
from the hotel bill I've just had hand
ed me, the manager doesn't seem to
think so.
"Mercy Goodness p exclaimed
Mr.. Watkins, dropping his pipe in
CONSERVATION, "what is that awful
riot in the kitchen ?" ''That's the
war with China" answered his wife
placidly, going en- with her book.
The Gear is the most comfortably
fixed, financially, of any European
monarch. He has no civil list, salary
or allowance. He just helps himself
to all he needs, and the treasury's
only duty is to see those needs sup
piled.
"A new kind Of cloth is being
made in Lyons from the down Of hens,