The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1895-12-23
TRAGEDIES OF THE MAIL
Christmas Souvenirs That Never
Come or Never 60.
RESULT OF BROKEN RULES
Some Memoranda for the World of
Senders of Souvenirs by Post and
by Express-PracticalI llust ratiOns
of Failure to Remem Der e he Regul-
,ations-Cases of Mixed Pickles.

are the two things in which all good and
bad Christians are Interested just now,
more than IN any other two considerations.
Christmas is an exception to the rule that il
is more blessed to give than TO receive The
Timely rule is perhaps that q fair exchange
Is no robbery.
People are however, apt TO forget that
many well intended presents go wrong III
some cases, that they do not go at all
In others and that some of them when they
arrive at destinations are merely carica-
lures of their former selves. This is because
the rules to be observed III sending presents
by mail and by express are ignored.
The express rules are 80 simple that IL
is only once i'll long while that anything
goes wrong. The sender has the advantage
In ninety nine cases out of hundred of hay-
ing a personal interview with the express
agent at the main office or with the ma n
on the wagon" All the mistakes are
usually rectified, but not SO when the SOU
venirs are to go by mail.
At the postoffice, any fine day until next
Tuesday night you can see a constant stream
of people going and corning and the
greater part of them you will see congre-
gated down at the north end of the dim
corridor. where people go to do their own
mailing. All they apparently look at is
the signs NORTH East South and
West and especially the hole in the
wall where the packages are dumped.
There is no better phrase than dumped for
the hurry and scurry that takes pla ce at this
box. There is no time TO talk with the
agents. who are inside working like dear
life; for. just now, the stamping machines
are going at rate that reminds one OF
the constant thunp, thump thump of a rice
mill.
ONE FREQUENT MISTAKE
A stumpy little woman elbowed her way
through the crowd Saturday afternoon IN
the act of plastering a special delivery
stamp on a small pasteboard box. When
she got near enough she fired IL into the
gaping. oblong hole in the wall and went her
way rejoicing over the happiness the pack
age would receive at the other end of the
line. Alas. maybe il will, and maybe
1t won't. Less than a minute after it was
entombed. a man with an apron on wanted
to know If Miss Clcary had gone" or
course She had, but her package was adj
dressed to Mr.. -. of jefferson. She
had evidently read the rules but was in
too much of hurry to recall all of them
at one time
Her own name was on the box and her
address, bit the address was different
city from Washington and a different State.
Ten to one she was Just passing through and
bought her present here, but where is JEFF
ferson or what jefferson is il?
This question will probably never be
answered, even al the next postoffice sale
of the mysteries of the mails. But in the
language OF Digby Bell, "whatcould thepoor
clerk do" 1t is possible that year hence
somebody will buy u dollar and a half
silk necStie for ten cents and Mr. Blank of
one of the hundred Jeffersons viii perhaps
never believe that Miss Clcary thought OF
him in her flying trip through Washington.
Are there any of this class of people in
Washington" The postoffice clerks think
that there are. They live everywhere, and
while the post office authorities solve great
many mysteries and keep hundreds OF Well
intended letters out of the tombs Of the
dead letter division, yet many things either
go wrong OF never go at ALL which is Just
as bad for the little OF big people who are
waiting or watching for the souvenirs of
their distant friends.
YOU CAN'T BEAT THE MAILS.
Loosening purse strings and divers MEM
oranda have taught us already that this
is the gracious season when everybody,
more or less, takes his pen in hand to
say something TO everybody else whether il
be to write a letter or to SupersCribe one OF
the many million packages which pass
through the postoffIce as Christmas pres
ents. A little talk on tie rates OF postage
and the rules of the postoffice will not be
anIiss i'll tie hurry and scurry to get pack
are destined to points which will hardly be
reached before Christmas Eve.
One of tie best illustrations of the fact
that you can't beat the postOffice out
of it's Just dues and demands is that of a
man who went 10 the postoffice a day CT
two ago 10 send a jug OF very good whisky,
worth 81, to friend in Arkansas. He had
with him this rule of the postoffice:
Postal cards having anything attached
or having writing or printing ON the face
other than the address are subject to letter
rates of postage" This ingenious, rather
than ingenious, gentleman had his jug OF
whisky attached 10 the postal card and
argued that for its transmission he would
10y the rule, be obliged to pay only letter
rates of postage on the POSTAL card.
The department. however. held that the |
whole outfit would cost him SEQ by
mail even surprising it were mailable
matter. Having string tied to his Christ
mas present. The man has il yet. but is
not al all convinced that he wasn't right |
about the law as to his big jug of Jcrfcr- |
sonan simplicity.
One of the first things 10 remember in |
taking the pen in hand is that il is better |
to write on the package or letter ones |
own name and address. If this is done,
you can get your present back If not |
delivered or it is declined.
THINGS TO REMEMBER.
The next imng To remember is that |
nearly all the things which are sent rs |
Christmas presents come under three heads. |
of second third, and fourth-class mail |
matter.
The second class includes newspapers |
and periodical publications.. etc, and will |
Cost / cent for every four ounces.
The third class includes books. circulars, |
photographs. seeds, scions, and plants. |
These and such matter will cost l cent |
for each two ounces or fractional part of |
two ounces.
The fourth class matter includes tags |
labels. patterns, playing cards, visiting |
cards. ornamented paper, land all other |
matter of The same general character. the
printing upon which Is not designed to
instruct, amuse, cultivate the mind or
taste. or impart general Information"
In this class Is included also The majority
Of the things which are sent as souvenirs
of the season. as II embraces merchandise,
samples of merchandise. metals, miner-
ais cut flowers, etc.
1t is the law that nothing which will