The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1895-08-08
ONE FOE TO MARRIAGE.
Fear of Poverty Deters Many Men from
Taking Wives.

concerning long engagements anu
whether they should be encouraged or
vice versa, Anna S. Swan says:
THE question appears to press for
an answer. 1t is one which weighs
upon the minds of many people, and it
may be well for us to consider briefly
all it involves. We may take for
granted that it is one which affects
more nearly the middle and poorer
classes, since among the rich strait
ened means, the general wherefore
of long engagements, are unknown. 1t
has been proved that the marrying age
grows yearly later one. This we sup
pose to be inevitable, owing to the con-
ditions of life daily growing harder
and more difficult to deal with. Com
petition in every walk of life is so
pitifully keen that remuneration seems
to have reached the lowest possible
ebb, and there is no doubt that it is
poverty alone which prevents many
men making home for themselves;
and, while it is matter of regret that
so many admirably suited for the re-
quirements and obligations of family
life should thus be debarred, one can
not dispute the wisdom which prefers
to fight the battle siugle-banded
rather than incur additional re-
sponsibilities which resources may not
cover.
This very decision costs many a
man dear and may, nay, does, involve
an amount of self-sacriice and heroism
which is not always recognized. Men
are often accused of selfshness and
blamed because they prefer rather to
spend on self than share meager
means with wife and child. While
there is something no doubt to be said
for this side, 1 am inclined to give
more credit than blame.
ut is no doubt this fear which keeps
many a man hanging on, prolonging
an engagement from year to year, I'M
til his first youth is past. The ques-
ton now arises: Is man justified in
asking woman to become his wife uu-
less he has fair prospect of Offering
her home within reasonable time?
Ii is obvious that no hard or fast rule
can be laid down. 1t is hard for man
who may have learned 20 love to hold
his tongue forevermore because strait
eued means forbid immediate mar
riage. And yet there is no doubt that
a matrimonial engagement prolonged
unduly is undesirable from many
points of view. 1t always seems to me
that anything is preferable, and GER
tainly safer, than hasty marriage,
without proper knowledge of the
tastes. habits and principles Of the
contracting parties. Such ill-con-
sidcred unions are productive of half
the woes Of life. During long en-
gagement, especially if the parties
ing there is ample room for acquiring
that thorough acquaintance with each
other which is likely to prevent disap-
pointnent or heartache afterwards l
think this is the very strongest argu-
meut in favor OF the long engagement,
especially in the case of young people
whose views of life are not matured,
and whose characters have not been
disciplined by experience. And here
it may be urged that the tickle and I'M
stable have chance to break faith
and to fix the wandering star of their
affections on every newcomer. | can
only say to those who may have suf-
fered disappointment and heartache
from such cause that they ought to
be thankful for the disillusionment
which came in time to save them from
the misery of lifelong union with a
companion so undesirabl and SO like
ly to prove unsatisfactory.
Breach of promise cases are pitiful
reading at any time, and seldom re-
dound to the dignity or credit of those
who bring them forward; and it has
always been to me a source of wonder
that the Tilted ones had room for any
feeling but that of gratitude for their
escape from the misery of a loveless
marriage.
''Of course there are cases which are
intolerably hard, when q girls pros
poets, health, and even character, may
have been affected by mans failure
to fulfill the engagement he sought;
but in the main the woman who thus
suffers is to be congratulated on her
escape from such q husband.
liz IlldU L WOulu OllcT
that an engagement of moderate
length Except in the case of long pre-
vious acquain S.nce, which gives sta
bility and confidence that nothing else
can afford, is the surest guarantee az
happiness How far q man is justified
in seeking to bind girl, though he
knows perfectly well he may not be
able to offer her home for years,
should not like to say. In some in
stances the certainty of being loved,
and the absolute trust such love can
bring, is sufficient reward for the long
waiting, and most women would prefer
it to being left in state of uncertainty.
1t is for the woman herself to decide
whether she is prepared to wait, and in
the interval to let other chances pass
her by.
Anything, repeat, is preferable to
hasty marriage without due acquaint-
ance. Wedlock is too serious and SOL
emn an engagement, and too far
reaching in it's consequences, to be
undertaken lightly. The happily mar
ricd, l feel sure, are as earnest and
insistent upon this precaution as those
who are unhappy. Their very happi-
ness makes them tremble for others,
who, through haste or thoughtlessness,
or eo,,,o ofhar cod non, ior, Of Al