The record-union., 1895-06-22
TIT FOR TAT.

How dye do, Flossie? Pm more'n
half glad to see ye. Step right i'll. Dearie
~, ye look as fresh an smilin' as
blush rose all a-bloom! Set ye down in
my old rocker yonder in the further
most corner O. the kitchen, for fear ye
might get spattered with the syrup. My,
but ye be passin' fine, Flossie! What's up,
1 wonder? Be it Sam, or Jonathan, or
Lemuel this evenin'-or mayhap that
blessed fool as | don't nohow approve of?
Gilchrist, that's it = Walter Gilchrlsti
Xe needn't color up so at mention O. his
heathenish name. Blush roses air heap
prettier an more becomin' for check
wear than great tlamin' peonies.
Speakin' o. names, now what sort o. a
name do ye consider yer own for re-
spectacle female to be called by? Elossie
fluffy -dimsy-bah! They're all of a
piece. Might suit one o. them fools o.
dogs sech as that last summers boarder
to Willie's was forever a-Iuggin' about
under her arm, but a gal as calls herself
a Christian-never! Time was when we
looked to the sacred Scrlpters for all our
storehouse neither. Pve allus been right
proper glad my ma persisted till she got
right O. way. Pa was for namln ne
Rachel. l wa'n'to O. The natur TO be sold
TO any Jacob l can tell ye; no, not for any
amount o. workout II ye can hnd
name as fits my character better'n Mar
tina I'd like to hear what it is, an more
over, l believe the natur IN measure
can be made, with proper edicatlon on
the subject, to ut the name chose.
Anyhow Pd a heap rather be bustlln'
Martha than submissive Rachel-there
is no mention o. her bein' consulted much
In the matter either. Martha, Martha
Tucker better yet, hts me like the gloves
! mos never wear. Don't 1t sound like
the busy housewife I've been, sence | had
= house o. my own TO keep goIn'-an'
without meanln' to brag, l can say as
how l never was a slow coach like yer
ma.
Then as for Caleb; if didn't study up
all about him IN my Bible even atore he
proposed, an there was Samuel an
Hiram in the case, too, as l let him ride
over. Somehow II seemed TO me as
though Caleb ought to be the chosen one,
seein' as how he was chosen o Moses, he
actin for the Lord, to go on an import
ant missiOn-an' proved trusty too. An
besides all that | took nightly TO the no
lion o. his bein' found worthy to enter
the promised land.
An to think that niece O. Martha
fuckers should be called Flossie, an
should De keepin' company with nigh
flynn city swell, who spends more on
cigars an neckties an them shiny low
shoes than my Caleb does on all his
clothes. big high boots, with some stuff in
'em, included. To think ye can let sech
as him, with first name as means moth
in an a family name as is worse, beln'
as il pears to me almOs' SacrilegiCus-he
might as well be called anti Christ an
done with it-for sech as him to be let
take the reinS an ride clean over real fine
chaps like Jonathan Hodges, an Sam
Lawton an Lemuel Ricks-its enough
TO make a saint sick to heart. AM it all
comes o yer unwise parents, along with
the degenerate age, beginnin' wrong with
yer name am follOWin 1t up with topsy-
turvy edlcatlon.
All, want To turn the conversation on
to my preserves, do ye? So ye think it
queer that one akin to ye. an a-livin' in
pretty upplsh house, an If not rich, for
sartaIn not poor, can make preserves to
sell? Would ye really like to hear how
IL come abouu Not that l consider II
anythin' to be ashamed OF, nor that needs
apOloglZin' for, tiOsSle, but for yer own
future good Pm willin' to gi' ye a chapter
out o. our lives, Caleb's an mine. Ay,
there's lessons to be larned outside O. fam
q
o use in travelin' along the stony road o.
life. KNOWN the experiences o. others
may ye keep out o. some Objectionable
ones y6rSelf.
Well, FlossIe. it's a pretty long story,
but If ye have the patience to listen I'll 60
ahead. an II ye haven't, why, l can put
II all in nutshell, a-sayin' never give
Tit for tat' unless II be for good, an not
for evil. oh, ye wish to hear II all, do
ye? Then, just to whet yer appetite PHI
tell ye in another nutshell as how what
started yer Aunt Martha a-making pre-
sarYes was her hayin' been thief an
liarl Ne needn't stare an look 80
skeered. Ha, ha, there's not much o. the
the blush leit-its white rose, chalk
white now. Lor, child, don't yer see L
can laugh? Them ways. thank the Lord,
didn't get sot-an' repentance was sim
cere, | can tell ye.
saAn' so, Flossie, to begin at the begin
MIN, L was named right, an edicated
right so far as readin' an spellin' an
hggerin' up enough to keep accounts
square was concerned, an all the house
wlfe's qualities was rubbed in diIigent
by ma o. blessed memory, who WAS a
model woman If ever there was one.
Then come 'choosin' time' for what gal
as has passable good looks-Pm not set
tim up 1or beauty, understand. (Ah. so
ye've heard tell as how Aunt Martha was
pretty as a picture, have Ye? Well, about
that ye can consult Caleb an ye will.)
But. as l was sayin', no fairly good
lookin' gal is let go far without some
beaus a-danglin' after. an as pve al
ready told ye l chose Caleb-part on ac-
count o. his name, an part, Pll acknowl-
edge it frank. on account o. his good
looks, an some uncommon takin' ways
o. his'n. He was - an but 19 when we
was wed, am we come straight to this
house a-toOt, a two-mile tramp across
fields from pas and mas house-no
money wasted on weddin' journeys in