San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1895-07-15
plIH AND POINT.

Il had rather believe all the fables
in the Talmud and the Koran than
that this universal frame il without a
mind.-Bacon.
-She-"Men think they know every,
thing" He-'Well, if it wasn't for
that the women couldn't fool them
Detroit Tribune.
The arrows of sarcasm are barbed
with contempt. 1t is the sneer in the
satire or ridicule that gals and
wounds.-W. GLADDEN..
Male Inquisitor-"What page of
the womens paper did the women read
: frst?" Female Philosopher = The
mems page. Buffalo Express.
You say the colonel is a great
military manP" "A perfect hero. y
Whats his record?" Seventeen oaths
a minute. cleveland Plain Dealer.
-Bookkeeper-iT see by the paper
that our customer, Scudkins, is mar
ried." Fashionable Tailor-'Indeed!
| shall be sorry to lose him. "-Clothier
and Furnisher.
We can't tell you, Constant Reader,
what days are considered unlucky to
be married on. Authorities differ; some
say three hundred and sixty-five.-
Philadelphia Record.
Sub Editor-"How is Pennington
on spelling, anyway" Editor-''Well,
he is little too quaint for ordinary
English, and not quaint enough for
dialect. journal.
-Watts-"Did you try the hot-water
cure for your cold?" Potts-'Yes. 1t
is simply great, too. You see, mixed
it with little whisky and lemon, and
never had anything to slip down so
easy."-Indianapolis Journal.
I'm all my career, F." said the eminent
statesman, II can say that have never
done anything to be ashamed of" You
mean" sneered the cynic, that you
have never done anything you were
ashamed of. "-Indianapolis Journal.
Chess and the Mind.-Mr. King
"Do you think, as they are now dis
cussing, that chess has an injurious
effect on the mind?" Mrs. Queen-''In.
deed, do. If had to keep as still as
a chess player does. I'd explode. De
troit Free Press.
80, papa, what makes old Mr.
Grabenheimer walk so stoop-shoul-
dered? He looks like horseshoe"
81 have heard, my son, that many
years ago, when he was very little
boy no bigger than you are now, he
found ent."--Life.
Gypsy telling an elderly coquette's
fortune from the lines of her hand)-
81 am sorry to tell the young lady
that she will pass through a serious
illness in her twentieth year" Lady
Good gracious!" (Sighs and gives the
gypsy dollar.)-Fliegende Batter.
-Tommv-"Paw, what is an ego
tist?" Mr.. Figg-"He is a man who
thinks he is smarter than anyone
else" Mrs. Figg-"My dear, you have
thought wrong. The egotist is the
man who says he is smarter than any
one else. All men think that way
Indianapolis Journal.
First New Woman-"That Mrs.
Umphry is horribly lacking in man.
ners." Second New Woman-"What's
the matter?" First New Woman-"I
saw her in a street car the other day
when number of gentlemen entered,
and she never offered to give up her
seat to em."-Chicago Record.
Chicago Wine Comes Cheap.-Cus-
tomer-"A table d'hote dinner, includ-
ing bottle of good wine, for seventy
five cents? Yes, that's cheap enough;
but l don't care for any wine and
can't afford it. How much will it be
without the wine?" Waiter-"I'll do
what's right with you, boss You can
have the dinner without the wine for
seventy cents, sab. Chicago Tribune.