The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1895-07-24
HEAR AN ASSESSOR.
He RELATES his EXPERIENCE AND
GIVES A BIT OF ADVICE.

GIVES A BIT or ADVICE.
Hi. Plano and Poverty Problem a rsrro,
That was Cheap At AM Price a scene
In Upper Tendon - An Appeal Dor
Courtesy 10 the Assessor.
When by telling the truth an evil Is
porpotrated, then II is wrong 10 tell the
truth. | suppose that is tho reason 40
many people are doing good by telling
falsohoods TO personal property assess.
ors. The writer is deputy assessor in
the west town, aud at present he is com
piling a book that is full of NAMES and
figures. The names are all right. but
the man who said figures can't lie"
never assessed personal property.
There are about 30 u us assessors,
who form IN line at a. m. move up
TO window In Assessor jacob NJ
Horns west town Office, Haymarket
Theater building, and get our books and
blank schedules. These calfskip covered
books contain little map u some par
ticular district IN the great West Side
We move ont to these districts and 20
20 work. The town clerk registers our
oaths TO faithfully perform the duties
Of an assessor, and the people we as
sess do the rest ~ the swearing That
isn't all. Sometimes they set the dog
ON US and otherwise treat us a. though
we were book agents That makes the
assessor warm, and then he interviews
neighbor regarding property that Is
not accessible. And the consequence is
people who bounced" the assessor will
find a valuation placed upon their prop
erty that will cause them 20 think there
is nothing certain but death and taxes
Occasionally we find poverty and pi.
ano together The piano is assessable,
and the poverty isn't If you assess the
piano, you increase the poverty, and
there yuu are
These incongruities come up, and un-
less you have the wisdom Of board Of
equalization there is trouble. Speaking
about this board, | have an idea that
they will just about double the poor as
SCISSORS figures when they get down TO
work. A keen assessor can locate every
piano In his district II he doesn't hear
it, everybody else in the neighborhood
has, and they tell him about t. asked
real nice looking lady the other day II
she had piano, and she said "No."
"Why, yes, mamma, we have, said
her little girl
The mother said: go into the house
this minute, you naughty girl How
dare youl" And then the child knew she
had done something wrong She had
told the truth 10 a nasty, mean Assessor.
went into little candy store on the
same street. To the woman behind the
counter stated my business.
She replied II am poor widow. My
God, what will ! do7" Tears flowed
down her cheeks, and she sobbed a,
though her heart would break The as
SCISSOR felt so mean that he smeaked out
without asking her name
Even the parrots are down on assess
ors, A Latin street bird told the as
SCISSOR 10 goto - any number Of times
while he was conducting the inquisito
rial ceremony.
"Thnt bird speaks very plainly" said
the writer
Just hear the dear fellow. He can
say - just NJ plainly as | can. will
sell him for $l5. There's bargain. y
And the lady meant every word she said
A parrot that can cuss an assessor il dir
cheap ut any price
This is how they do it on Ashlan'
boulevard;
Scene, front stoop Of stone man
sion. Dramatis personae, lady witt
large diamonds in her ears. Negligeo al
tire. Assessor with book and an oiiicin
smile.
Lady-We are cleaning house today
all topsy turvy, and You cannot come in
Assessor-Not at all necessary, m
dear madam, that | should go In.
have brought this book and my imagi
nation along and can see all that
necessary. ] sec that this is II beautifu
house, and the eye Of my imaginatio
penetrates these walls. see grand pi
ano. statuary by Throwalstere, paint
ings ly the old and new masters, tapes
tries from India. carpets from Turkey
china from Dresden, bric-a-brnc fror
all parts OF the world--in short. every
NhihB Ailat hhil VI sbuI tAheptiouu
Judgment would use In embellishin
such noble mansion.
Lady-Sirl
Assessor-While can hardly yentur
TO place valuation upon such treas
ures will bo moderate and say go,
900.
Lady-Do it IL you dare Come in an
see.
The assessor went in and found hi
mental picture scarcely overdrawn, bu
the final courtesy caused slump in tn
valuation.
: Here Is a bit Of advice to persons VIII
are inclined 10 resent the intrusion Q
an assessor. The advice does not cost
cent, but II you do not act upon 1t yo
may be caused no end Of trouble an
money also, Throw your door wide ope
TO the assessor, invite him in, give hin
TO understand that you are the oblige
party and give him the information b
seeks. and It IL 10 10 that you will /
treated fairly, and point on two ma
be stretched in your favor. Shut hi
out, and he will make a record Of II
fact, and In fixing the valuation ,
, your property find nothing In your Il
vor. II you go TO the Office with yol
schedule, the fact that you refused a.
mittance to the deputy IL noted, and
n that event you will pay all the law d
RI mands. West Side Assessor IN Chic
90 Times Herald