The daily morning journal and courier., 1895-03-09
TIE ELEETTNG sHOW.
some of Its Facts and Fancies.

l Written for the JoURNAB AND CoURIER.l GRAAIMATICAL "DECEPTIONS," , Or, How Timmy Got Mixed. "I've had a horrid time at school" Said Timmy with whine, , And don't want to go no more To Miss Virginia Pine.' "Twas 'plurals' in the grammar book,
 Just 'cat-cats.' and 'bird-birds' Who wants to study half an hour
 On little bits O words?"
 Say, ma, is grammar any good?-
 We stood LID to reete.
 And everybody laughed and said didn't get things right.
 "I thought I'd do just like the rest,
 And Billy said, 'man-men,
 So when Miss Pine put fan to me,
 piped right up, fan-fen.'
 "'Tooth' come to Kitty smith; she said
 The plural form was 'teeth:' Say, ma. what made 'em giggle so,
 Because I said 'booth-beeth?' Goose, said the teacher, and 'ocrrect
 When susy answered geese!
 Moose was the next word. and I
 s'posed
 Twas right to call 1t 'meese.' "A word that came to Joey Sims. | o,nd bo sotJ And then Miss Pine laughed right out
 loud
 Just cause said 'boot--beet.' "But they all laughed the loudest, when,
 Cause Jimmey said mouse-rnice, I kind O stammered over house.
 And said I guessed twas 'hice.' "When all the rest were marked with 1
 only got a 3.
 And I don't see why those queer words
 Should all have come to me. "If I'd studied, teacher said.
 'Cordn' to her directions, I would a found little list,
 Of what they call 'deceptions.' Well, I thrashed Jimmy after school,
 But Billy-he thrashed me- Say, ma. don't make me go no more,
 'Taint no use I can seer
 SHE SLANT!
 "The Wheelwoman," a bright little  cycling journal conducted by Mrs. Mary Sargent Hopkins, gives the fol- lowing as an accurate report of a con versation. Those who are so unfortu- nate as often to come in collision with the arbitrary and tyrannioal will see in it's very inconsistency prima facie evidences of its truthfulness.
 Man with an opinion-"No, my wife does not want to ride wheel, and if she does want to, she shan'tr'
 Friend-"But supposing she should | change her mind?"
 Man with an opinion-"That would | not make any difference, she shan't."
 Friend-But supposing you should | change your mind?"
 Man with an opinion--"That would | make no difference, either, she shan'tW
 AN EFFECTIVE SCREEN
 To screen Ia window that looks out upon blank walls of buildings, untidy back yards or an unpleasant, dreary street, or that is too near the windows of a neighboring house to be entirely agreeable try a screen that has been noticed with much admiration by a traveller on the Continent If you can have vines whose roots are in the earth, clambering up over your window on the outside, you are pleasantly pro- vided for, but if you cannot have them try growing them inside the room in a suitable window box. Have very light and open diamond-shaped lattice made and painted white, F'asten it to the window frame, inside. with few screens, and twine the light sprays of some delicate vine in and out of the woodwork. It shall be a joy to you, and the daintiest, arrest of curtains, in summer or winter. A MEMORIAL TO MRS. BROWNING. The memorial building to Elizabeth Barrett Browning, at Ledbury, Here England, is so near comple- ion that it is hoped it may be ready Or dedication next June.