Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1895-05-04
THE POSTPONED WEDDING.
Uncle Reuben Explains Why HI,
Daughter Was Not Married,

Uncle Reuben Explains Why His
Daughter Was Not Married.
Written for The Evening Star by H. N. Dorsey
well, Uncle Reuben" said his old friend,
Geo. johnson, meeting him on the street
yesterday, how are you feeling today?
Rheumatism no worse. hope?"
The word rheumatism brought a savage
CLEAN to the old mans eyes, and leaning
heavily on his cane, he replied:
well, 1 amt feelin' quite so well today,
sence TUX dat new medicine wat dat coon
wat used ter cum ter see my darter Lie
recumend me ter take"
'Why, how is that? Isn't he going to
marry your daughter? l thought it was
settled, and they were to marry this fall"
"Dey was gwine ter be married." said the
all changed now. an dar amt gwine ter
be no weddin' dis var"
After much persuasion, the old darkey
consented to give a synopsis of his case
1t was jes' dis way said he. Dat coon,
Geo. Washington, was cumin ter see my
darter Lie regular, an burnin' my lie and
coal but l didn't kick about dat, caus' 1
thought he was deSarvn' young man. He
on de avnoo, but hev sence found dat he
only dun de scruhbin dar. Well, one chen
dat niger comes round ter take supper
wild Lie and his pa (dat's wat he used ter
tell Lie he was gwine ter call me Wen he
was marrid). In de cours of his remarks,
and seem dat was sufrerin' nightly wild
de rheumatism. he said he knowd jes'
'xactly what wud cure me of dat disease.
l nebeT did think much of dat Niger no.
how. but de way he did talk. De elequence
jes' rolPd out but l didn't let on dat 1
paid much 'tention to him.
After dat coon left dat night 1 got ter
thinkin' wat he said. He told me ter take
glass of vinegar, den git piece of gold
and put it in dat glass, let it STAN all
night, den drink it, an l wouldn't have no
more rheumatism. Dat coon came nyar
bein' right too, l tell yer. Causin' de doc
tors thought 1 was gone niger fur long
time. Howsomever, 1 gifts de vinegar, but
fore de Lord an l amt got no gold. Den
1 thinks Of de diamond ring dat de niger
dun glib my darter Lie fer an engagement
ring, so l says to myself: Wen Lie gifts
asleep I'll jes' slip in de room, git de ring,
put it In de vinegar, den git up arly in de
mornin' an put it back, an she won't know
nuthin' about it.
We'll, l crawls into de room and gifts de
ring out of de bureau drawer. Den 1 puts
1T in de vinegar, and goes ter bed wild de
larm clock under my pillow SOS to wake
fore Lie gifts up. Four clock in de
mornin' l gifts up and takes de Dose
thought 1t taste mighty funny, but / man.
ages ter git it down. Golly, how 1 did feel.
jes as eff dar was race horses tarin' 'roun'
in dar. Wen 1 cudn't stan it no longer I
gin ter yell. Lie cum runnin' out, and de
Majors cum runnin' In. Dey all thought I
was er goner.
soon de doctor coined, and de way he
pumped dat stuff out of me was a sin.
After 1 gifts ter feelin' little better, goes
ter git de ring ter take back ter LiZe an I,
fore de Lord, an eff de ring hadn't all
turned green. an de diamond melted. Golly,
how I did cuss dat niger fur gibin' my
darter dat glass diamond and dat brass
ring. I swar dat was gwine ter get ven
geance. I didn't say nuthin' ter nobody,
but jes' laid fur dat coon. Sunday eben' he
Gums up de street wild his patent ledders
on and silk hat, wat he dun stole some
whar. He gifts ter de door and Gums in
Den closed it, and convarses wild him fur
about two minutes. Wen dat conversation
was ober dat coon was sartainly changed.
If he wasn't horned black he would have
hen. Den I opens de door and tell him ter
git. Jes' as he goes out Lie dumps a
couple of buckets O. water on him. So OATS
de reason dar amt gwine ter be no we'd
din dis var"