Connecticut western news., 1895-01-03
QUERY COLUMN.

Some people think that newspaper office is bureau of general information and we are the frequent recipients of billet-doux asking for enlightment and advice. Quite a collection of these doux land some other dues) had gather ed on our desk and we engaged a com p .tent authority to clean them up and answer them through tue columns of our paper s'What you see in the Query ColumnHof the NEWS is liable to be so {"
 CITIzEN-The Canaan band is not in exis- terce. want of talent and of sufn tent business to keep it going were the causes of it's demise. The band stand was built by subscription and given to the band. it being expected that the band would give concerts in il for five or ten years gratis and pay their own expenses,
 AaENT-No; Canaan Is not the best show town in New England
 MEkcH.NT-The present officers otwangum Club. Canaan, are: s. tddy, pres.; F. A Peet, vice-pres.; M. Rood. sec'y.; F. F. Stevens, treas. A.W. Nicoll, 0. D. Milliken, A. P. Freeman, executive committee.
 DRYoNE-Canaan Cream Ale is made at Ca- naan. N. Y and a large percentage of 1t uTttuh Ill CauhAu, COuu.
 SENsATIoN-The Canaan Valley investiga- tion is not the result of Lexow committee but Is little of the red tape workings of the State Board of Charities. It amounts to nothing, only to bring into unneeded prom thence a refuge for the unfortunate.
 ANXIOUS FATHER-The moral atmosphere of our village is as pure and wholesome as a Quaker settlement. boy here will have no opportunity of being led into vice by such f.a,n nflfiA th.a mi fan nr the dance du venture. Such little worldly accomplishments as he may get onto here are nothing more than go to make up the modern sport
 PRoHIBITIoNIsr-The little wooden boxes that you see at the station with glass tubes in them are J. W. Ps Latest" glassophone, from the musical house of W Pepper, Philadelphia, hence the trademark "J.W.P."
 IN NEED-Fuller X Peet do not run "free clothes counter"
 MAN-AFRAID-oF-A-BI.AzE- answer to Merchant.
 CURIoUs-Ben In Mud will not furnish us his photograph or his New York address as he is airaid he will be sued for debt.
 FIREMAN-The water main from the reser- voir to the village is six inches, through Main street four inches. on Prospect Ave. two inches. on Railroad St. above the Gum mings block one inch.
 YoUNG MAN-In advising you as to a career why not try that of a country editor. It Is blissful existence and a great school. Every body will hate you and you will not be spoiled by dattery. Your heart will be steeled to disapointments as many a subscriber who is seven years in arrears will die insolvent. Your health will be benefited by the long hours of work and the frugal repast nec- cessary to the business. Your best girl may shake you and marry the foreman ard you will have to hire her as book-keeper in order to keep the foreman but these things will stop your writing love stories and guide your pen in the way of brilliant and sarcastic editorials. When your advertising grows lean and your cash draw leaner your printers will strike on account of having to set more matter. The duties of a country editor are not in the ast arduous, being only to wri @ the local news. the editorials, obituaries, the ads for most of the advertisers, the re- ports of any great happenings, edit the cor respondence, read proof, keep the books, send bills, figure on job printing, sweep your sanctum. clean cuspidors, wash the windows, fill your lamps, mend the furniture and build the fire. The devils duties do not extend to the sanctum, the only connection that the editor has with him is to pay him and grieve over his mangle citation of some sentence when he begins to correct galleys. But this Is not the place to introduce new words or to explain tho workings of journalism.
 SNowBoUND-The Village Improvement Society has these officers: President, vice. president, secretary. treasurer, and board of directors. The society Is eighteen years old.