The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-05-10
2 RooL's ROAD TO WEALTH.
Teiephons No. ss.

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The following recipe for getting rich,
individually and as a people, is given. by
COINS Financial Fool. 1t is found on
page III of a pamphlet which is taken as
gospel by the free silver extremists:
We express values In dollars, the unit
of our monetary system. That unit is
now the gold dollar Of twenty-five and
two-tenths grains of pure gold, or twen-
ty-hve and eight-tenths Of standard gold.
II we were to cut this amount in two and
make eleven and slx-tenths grains pure
gold unit, or dollar, we would thereby
double the value of all the property in
the United States, except debts.
Certainly And by the same rule, says
the Chicago Tribune, the farmer could
double the amount Of his crops of grain
and haxseed by cutting down the bushel
to one-half its present dimensions. He
can double the area of his farm by the
simple process OF halving the acre by
which he measures the extent of his land.
and having performed both divisions,
would raise precisely the game number
Of bushels Of grain to the acre as before
the change. The grocer and butcher can
double the quantity Of sugar and meat
sold by them without increasing the num-
Der OF customers, all that is necessary
to the desired improvements in business
being to call pound what they now call
half pound. The coal merchant can
effect like improvement In his business
by selling half ton for a whole ton,
and then get just as many of the half
worth dollars for the half worth ton of
coal as he received full worth dollars for
the full weight ton Of coal.
This would be a beautiful" arrange
ment 80 long as It was confined to GER
tain classes Of objects, but would not
answer for all. If farmer were to cut
his wagon In two in order to double the
number, or chop each Of his horses, cows,
and hogs In two with like intent, he
soon would find himself loser by the
operation. And none but the rankest kind
Of financial fool can fancy that the
farmer or any other honest man or wom-
an could gain anything by the halvlng
process as applied to the unit measures
for grain, land, sugar meat, coal, or any
other OF the things which it may be de-
desired to buy or sell. Obviously II the
new crank plan for getting rich were car
ried out as far as possible the ratio or
the unit OF value to the half unit Of
measure would be precisely the same
as that OF the full unit OF value to the
full unit OF measure Of weight, and the
only persons who would gain anything
by the change from one plan to the other
would be the sharper class, who always
are on the lookout for some means or
opportunities for taking base advantage
OF the rest Of the community. Obviously
the same rule would hold good II the
change were confined to the money unit
as proposed by the financial cranks and
would-be swlndlers. And that is just why
they are clamoring for It because they
hope It would enable the few to get rich
at the expense OF the whole people.
What does the sensible reader think OF
the asinlnity that can seriously propose
us royal road to wealth the halving Of
the unit by which wealth is measured?
The proposition is flttlngly put into the
mouth OF boy, for no sane man would
advance II unless with intent to cheat,
or as a bubble akin to that by which
we are told that to take our bank bills
and fold them across is to double our
money. Yet this kind OF trash is said to
find thousands OF admirers, and Is adopt
ed into resolutions which have been pass
ed by some associations Of workingmen
and several political conventions. 1t is
enough to make sensible man blush to
think It possible that any considerable
number of supposedly intelligent Amer
lean citizens can be mlsled by such trans
parent claptrap as that of Coins Finan.
cial Fool.