The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-10-06
STORY OF HARD TIMES.
MT PRUNE TELLS ABOUT A SIHIN-
GENTSPELL
That Once Came His Way Along win
Circus-A Graphic Description OK
the Effects.

thing that can possibly attack huiilal4ss
Droughts may be withstood Dy al 'lii0,'..
means; thirst, by stimulants uisea9S ~
sanitation: insomnia by reaulns re
drawn dscOurses; cold by hle' neA -, ~
fans. but when a genuine, simon Iuic
case OF hard times attacks d p'd0o' '''0''
all signs and cures fan
Hard tines are usually preceaeo ny
circus. and then come severai shlaiiei
shows OF a cheaper denomination, VIZ"
gather up whatever the circus might ia
left. Then "A business failure or tWo' anu
a general shutting down Of all KINDS Oh
work except that Of the medical piols9-
sion-that IS always booming. Out OF d
family OF ten. hard times will inVarlapiy
find eight Of them sick, the fatner out Vi
employment. and the mother allihs'
/ have endeavored 10 tell, as nearly as
POSSIBLE. how hard times come. Nopody
has ever been able 10 tell when they 60
They have a habit of making way IKE
a thief IN the night, and never showing
IN until they come around again.
have never seen any one happy during
hard times; the most rotund races look
as though they had been caught side up
wards In a copying press All fanny
pride and national spirit give way 10 lne
commonplace sentiment. w nat snal
we do about to-morrOw's dinner Inc
credit system Is tlUllINAas -'N
a firm show the largest kind Of ousl-
ness imaginable, while the cash drawer
is frightfully emacated; and mer-
chants sales for two weeks won't pay
his vife's wash bill on Saturday night.
While / wish TO decry hard times IN
general. yet DO | wish chiefly so 10 co ia
reference to peculiarly stringent speh
that struck my native town about TWO
years ago.
All of the spring had been brisk and
gay. Money was plentiful, and every one
was cOngratulating himself upon Delhs
citizen of a locality where one Is always
able to pay for what he gets, ana GET
maid for what he gets rid Of. But the cir
ems came-the precursor Of all evil-1nd
mammoth vender Of California peanuts
and red lemonade Then the village shoe
maker opened the ball by failing as nat
as a founder. All business WAS suspend
cd sine die. The professional men ana
merchants aroused themselves by indulg-
ing I'm match games Of baseball. The
Hod-carriers' Association wrote poetry
and discussed Greek Mythology; and the
young ladies formed a society for the pre-
vention Of cruelty to dudes.
The policemen were all discharged, as
no man had anything to steal ana there
was 10 danger Of crime IN that direction.
And there was not the least danger Of
murder. as no man possessed more than
his neighbor. and there was no room for
envy or malice. A mans wife might
clamor in vain for sin, dress or a seal
skin sacque, or a new bonnet. but II was
useless. The beseeched individual could
only. standing with his pockets turned in
side out, and his bank book showing a
balance Of zero, pitifully exclaim; Take
all that l have. twill make you no fich-
ola ..cs 9Th. rlsia
ed an ice-cream parlor on the arm of
her fellow; but her fellow would only
sigh louder as he fingered his last nickel
that he had been saving for weeks to buy
a package of "Admirals,' when his
friends should give out The wealthiest
men i'm town were down 10 their last
penny, and were eating straight sand
witches, that is. a slice Of bread between
two other slices. while the poorer ones
who had nothing 20 begin on, had become
Illuminating animals, and were anSiously
hunting pea-shells and boot tops.
The BARRIERS had closed up for want OF
patronage. and all of the inhabitants
let their whiskers and hair grow, and in
a remarkably short space of time, every
man I'm town had hair about a foot long.
and whiskers the same; and as they were
all festooned with burs and cObwebs,
stranger in town was not able 10 say
whether they were playing mcnagerie or
paying election bets. People became so
thin that the sun shone through them,
giving the village the appearance OF
settlement of magic lanterns. Col. Token,
who had weighed three hundred and eish-
~ pounds when the times came on, now
used to crawl in a gun barrel when IL
rained or the wind breezed up; and Aunt
Kzzie Knuckle. who had originally
weighed only eighty pounds. now used
TO whistle to let you know she was COM
ing.
All OF the birds left the place except an
old crow who had his eye on five corns
that Parson Jakins had on his lett foot.
The domestic animals dried up and blew
away.
one night famished crowd broke into
the county treasurer's office, and after
ransackng the place, found thirty-four
cents carefully tied up I'm an old stocking
and labelled: Due John Jones from the
direct tax fund"
The sun grew hotter and hotter. and
poured down on those benightcd inhabi-
tants until they were as yellow as an
cient Egyptian mummies.
AT last the climax came. The crisis OF
the disease had arrived. and every one
paused in breathless and anxious sus-
ponsc. awaiting the result of the passing
Of the highest point of terror. Al last,
at last. Congress came together. and the
silver question was Knocked about and
scufed with. The tide began TO turn.
The lovely fruit was pendant upon the
trees, causing the spirit Of the small boy
to dilate. the huge ranks of golden gain
nodded their fcathery plumes when the
wind blew: the stalks tcppled over with
their burdens Of corn: the vines clung te-
naciously TO their supports in order TO
hold up their loads; the farmer shipped
his produce in glee; the banker fingered
his cash with pride the mechanic eager
ly sharpened his tools; the lawyer rejOic-
ed at his docket, the merchants delivered
tons of goods. the young men inform
cd their sweethearts that they had at last
found thcr way clear 20 matrimOny; the
ambitious youth reioiced that he coulb
guished in their Offices when they viewed
the jocund faces OF their former pa
tents: the loafers found Jobs: the old
yarn spnncss could again find some one
70 laugh at their tales; and the world
awoke rubbed his eyes, and INDUCED in a
worldly smile. The curse was over. bet
ter times had come-everybody was hap
pier. the grumblng ceased; aud then the
realization suddenly came TO the world
that good cannot last forever; that we
must have both storm and sunshine: and
that the period pissed through was only
sent by the All-wise Master, that he
might test his creatures, and see how
they bore their crosses, in order that He
might know whether the world is made
up of men worthy of the name, or only of
mortals who are happy and true when
IaI ~