davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

*Daily except Monday.
+Daily except Saturday and Sunday
For freight and passenger rates apply to
O. n. LESTER, Supt.,
seashore Railway Co Seaside, Ore.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

Spend Sunday at Clatsop Beach! Round
trip $1.0O. Tickets on sale at steamer
docks Thompson, Gatzert, and Dwyer
leave Astoria at a. m. Sundey.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

What brings people back to the Asto-
ria Wood Yard after they have Rorndsd
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

Our milk Is guaranteed strictly pure
and fresh from the cow daily. Reith
&c Wilson.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

Among the passengers on the outgoing
State of California yesterday were Mrs.
C. d. Jones and son, Mrs. Tony Doetero,
and Mr.. BriX and wife.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

Mrs. w. L. johnson left for up rive
on the Gatzert yesterday morning.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

Pacific lodge, K. p, last night installed
the recently elected officers with all due
ceremony.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03
FURNISHED ROOMS WITH BOARD.

A well-furnished suite of rooms, with
use of parlor, and, if desired, good
table board, at reasonable rates. 4O5 Du-
ane street, corner of Ninth
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

Miss Bessie Keltner, of Portland, passed
through the city yesterday for "a short
stay at Seaside.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

Captain III. B. Parker returned from
Seaside yesterday. He left his family
there at his cottage, where they win re-
main for the summer
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

The board of school directors will hold
a meeting Monday evening.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

James Seeley, of Gray's River, who was
kicked In the stomach by a horse last
week, Is still at st. Mary's hospital and
his condition is somewhat serious.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

in new telephone poles In the eastern
portion of the city.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03
CoNNEcTIoNs.
TRAINS LEAVE SEASIDE.

Fi:45 p, ,m...............lDay boats for Portland.
q n. m,................. Boat for Astoria.
II l5 D. m ............. Night boats for Portland.
+4l5 D. IN .... m .... Boat for Astoria.
2.45 D. m. Saturday. Boats for Astoria and Port.
land.
5:45 p. m. Saturday. steamer Potter for llwacO.
D. m. sunday. Boats for Astoria and Port
land.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

Mr.. A. w. Prescott, of Salem, was a
passenger for Portland on the Potter last
evening, having spent two weeks at the
beach.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

Mr.. G. W. Dickinson, assistant general
superintendent of the Northern Pacific
Railroad, is in Portland and has sent
for his wife to meet him at that point.
Mrs. Dickinson, who is now at Gearhart;
will go to Portland today.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

Born-Thursday Aug. 1, to the wife Of
C. A. Enberg a daughter.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

The Astordan will hereafter be found
on sale at McGuire's Hotel at Seaside.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

State Superintendent G. M. Irwin is still
at Gearhart delivering lectures before the
summer school. He is delighted with the
place.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

Only the lat st and most improved method
used. Investgat on bv physicians d scien-
tiic people courted. Examination of children's
eyes specially. Diagnosis of the eyes made
by the Op halmoscope (eye Ieading) and no
questions asked of the patient.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03
AROUND TOWN.

P. ]. MCGOWAN left on the Potter last
evening for Portland.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

$4,000 PER WEEK using and selling
Dynamos for plating watches, jewelry,
and table ware. Plates gold, silver,
nickel, etc., same as new goods. Diff
ferent sizes for agents, families and
shops. Easy operated; no experience;
big profits. w. p. Harrison & Co.,
Clerk No. IA, Columbus, Ohio.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

THE SPA-Colman's old stand, is th
place for fresh candies and ice cream.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

THE SAME PLACE-118 18th street Il
the place to buy fresh fish every day.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

Grant Trullinger was a passenger for
Gearhart yesterday, at which place he
will spend a. few weeks.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

The steamship State of California,
which left for San Francisco yesterday,
had 92 cabin and 60 steerage passengers.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

Rev. Charles III. Curtis and j. W. Gilt
camping near Clatsop City
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

Mr.. and Mrs. R. p. Elmore, father and
mother of Samuel Elmore, arrived in
this city from milwaukee, yesterday Mr..
Gilmore and wife enjoyed a delightful trip
and were highly pleased with the country
through which they travelled
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

Mr.. and Mrs. I. III. Amos, and daugh-
ter Of Portland, are in the city. They
will remain several weeks.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03
Ti9he Hotel, Rooms 10 and II.
A HOUSEHOLD TREAsURE.

Ladies' entrance. A lady in attend
ance.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

The property owners at Seaside are OF
the opinion thai II concerted action could
be had IN the matter OF bohding weeks
about the grounds, and along the prin-
cipai streets It would greatly add to
the attractions of that resort. A system
OF paving that would keep down the dust
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

Best Ice cream and ice cream soda in
the city at the Bonbonniere. &c U
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03
YESTERDAYS WEATHER.


Local weather for the twoney-four hours
endiPg at s p. IN. yesterday, furnished
by the United States department Of agri-
culture weather bureau:
Maximum temperature, rs degrees.
Minimum temperature, So degrees.
Precipitation, none.
Total precipitation from September LIST,
1894, to date, 1906 inches.
Excess Of precipitation from September
1st, 1884, to date, 400 inches.
BUSINESS LOCALS.
Try Smiths ice cream.
Get your milk OF Reith G. Wilson.
Fresh candies every morning at Smiths.
Sweet cream at Smiths 20 cents, pint,
Fresh candles every hour at the Bon
bonniere.
Bottle of Gambrinus beer and sandwich,
Is cents, at Jos. Terp's.
Best Ice cream and ice cream soda in
the city at the Bonbonniere. cc @
THE SPA-Colman's old stand, is the
place for fresh candies and ice cream.
|
THE SAME PLACE-118 18th street Is
the place to buy fresh fish every day.
The Astoqdan will hereafter be found
on sale at McGuire's Hotel at Seaside.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

Mrs. U. B. Scott and the Misses Scott
were passengers from Portland on the
Telephone yesterday.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

his condition is somewhat serious.
Mr.. G. w. Dickinson assistant general
superintendent of the Northern Pacific
Railroad, is in Portland and has sent
for his wife to meet him at that point.
Mrs. Dickinson, who is now at Gearhart;
will go to Portland today.
Mr.. and Mrs. R. p. Elmore, father and
mother of Samuel Elmore, arrived in
this city from milwaukee, yesterday Mr..
Gilmore and wife enjoyed a delightful trip
and were highly pleased with the country
through which they travelled
The state VS. Nick Davich, charged with
an as sault with a dangerous weapon,
was on trial in the justice court yesterday
afternoon. Davich was bound over to
await the action of the grand jury and his
bonds raised from $500 to $500.
Bids for the improvements to be made
to the school house were opened in the
office of School Clerk Ferguson yester-
day. There were eleven bidders in all.
William Miller's bid of $2S75 was the low
est, The highest bid was $4,15O.
Two transfers were filed for record in
were: G. Wingate ct. al. to Rachael Kin
dred lots 2 and g. block 6, First Addition
to Kindred Park, ST. and N. U. Corenssn
and wife to Asmus Bricks, lot 4, block
GO, Adair's, $500,
The report of the county clerk for July
shows receipts from all sources to be
$72Sl.64 Disbursements on all accounts
$9,0ai57. OF this amount 81 ,223, 80 was paid
in cash account special road fund, Nnd
$7,SO1.27 In warrants on the general fund
for miscellaneous accounts.
There will be a concert at the audlto-
rum at Gearhart Park today, under the
auspices of the Summer School," Miss
Gladys Jones and Mrs. ]. T. Ross will
be among the soloists. A good program
is promised, and the AFFAIR will no doubt
be one OF the events of the season.
While riding Gown the hill near O'Bri
ems hotel yesterday morning, Mrs. Dam
zlger, wife of Simon Danziger. was
thrown from her bicycle and quite badly
hurt. The lady was taken to her home
and a physician called in, who found that
she had sustained q painful Fracture of
the wristibone.
George Alles returned Thursday evening
from a two months visit In the East.
He saws that he had a pleasant trip and
that the meeting OF Christian Endeavors,
held In Boston, and to which he was a
delegrate from this state, was the largest
gathering ever assembled together in that
city. Fifty-three thousand regular dele
gates were in attendanca ! Il a ~
The property owners at Seaside are OF
the opinion that II concerted action could
be had in the rrstter OF building w'slks
about the grounds, and along the prin-
cipal streets. 1t would greatly add to
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

The summer girl is looked for but has
not yet appeared In Astoria.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

The state VS.. Nick Davich, charged with
an as nult with a dangerous weapon,
was on trial in the justice court yesterday
afternoon, Davich was bound over to
await the action of the grand jury and his
bonds raised from $500 to $500.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

Bottle of Gambrlnus beer and sandwich,
Is cents, at Jos. Terp's.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

Bids for the improvements to be made
to the school house were opened in the
office of School Clerk Ferguson yester-
day. There were eleven bidders in all.
William Miller's bid of $2,S75 was the low
est. The highest bid was $4,150.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

Two transfers were filed for record in
the office Of the recorder yesterday. They
were: G. Wingate ct al. to Rachael Kin
dred, lots and 8, block 6, First Addition
to Kindred Park, 81; and N. U. Corenssn
and wife to Asmus Bricks, lot 4, block
GO, Adair's, $780,
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

would be great boon, at least on few
of the main streets from the station,
where there is the most travel and the
dust becomes annoying at times.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-08-03

The report of the county clerk for July
shows receipts from, all sources to be
$L3S1.64 Disbursements on all accounts
$9,02i57. OF this amount 81 ,223.SO was paid
in cash account special road fund, Nnd
$7,SO1.27 In warrants on the general fund
for miscellaneous accounts.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1895-06-12

we talked together? Do you remem-
ber2"
Ten she faltered.
Yes. ten. Think of it, It was like
taking the heart out Of my body to see
You golng away
But IL is all over"
And l was so poor and so hamper
ed"
You are rich and beloved now
True. but hard TO realize even yet.
How long ago since YOU realized that
You loved me. Margaret
She turned scarlet. Ii was not like
him TO be so relentless, to triumph over
any one
THAT cannot interest you now"
II want TO know"
Pardon me, Wen drop the subject.
[ have humbled myself have made
all the amends in my power"
He stretched out his hand and took
hold of her arm as she would have
turned away.
DO YOU think so? Do YOU suppose l
shall be satisfied with so scant a resti-
tuition after waiting ten years? Come
here Margaret; come herer
That tone Of command, that impera-
tive pressure upon her arm, reused
angry resistance.
You forget yourself, Andrew Hart. "
III / do. am I not eXcusable, Mar
garet? Could YOU be calm and cool
headed if YOU had waited ten years for
certain persons love and, then sud-
denly found out that it was yours?
Not if You were a man, and 1 tell you,
dear. it will take a good deal of loving
To make up for those wasted years. 1t
viii take q lifetime. whole lifetime.
But that other wOman?'
rs a myth. There never has been
another woman. Don't look as if you
thought my head was completely turn
/ Ell. 1 never deceived YOU, did l? l love
I YOU. Margaret, and if you don't marry
me-
why didn't YOU come and tell me
I this long ago." she asked later.
Because l intended YOU to come TO
me- At first I had to study to make up
for lost time. I couldn't present my
self 90 YOU as an ignorant '--
/ Shesuddenly lifted her face and kiss
/ ed him.
did chance lead YOU here tonight?
"No. knew YOU were to be here.
"You gave me the opportunity
yes"
No one came TO disturb them. They
were dancing right merrily out in the
saloon. an these young people, and SO
absorbed in their pleasures that Miss
/ Martin and her story had been utterly
forgotten. Tickle young people
/ T-rica Press.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1895-06-12

THE PITTSBURG
Commercial Gazette. 6 cents per week: the
Pfttsburg Times, q cents per week. Eas,erE
and Western Dailies. Weekly Papers. Fashion
and Literary Magazines delivered everywhere
Books. Stationery. Gospel Hymns.
Z. II. QUIMBY, l4ii Marketstrest.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1895-06-12

While in Topeka last March, &. T.
Rarber. a prominent newspaper man
Of La Cygne, Kan, was taken with ch3i,
era morbus very severely. Inc hlsnO
Jerk M the hotel where he was stop,
MING happened to have bottle OF
E2bi1aImheriain's Collie, Cholera and Diarr-
booo Remedy and save him three doses
which relieved him and he thinks saved
bis life Every family should keep
This remedy in their home at all uI'i3 IS
No one can tell how soon 1t may De
~ n costs but a triiie and may
b ,s me means Of saving much suffering
and oT II" perhaps the lie OF some member ,al3sr
o 81 The family. 25 and 50 cent bottles
Cb9s R. Goethe, VIII w. Irwin, JG }
Kari. VIM z. Williams, 7. , 3ienhs-
heller. VIM. II. Hague, II. c. stewart
a p Schaele. J. Coleman. c. Schnepl'
T ", - Nenkemeller. Wheeling. W. va
Rowie G Co. Bridgeport; B. i. Peabody
& Son, BenwOod.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1895-06-12
1n11N KING.


............. -. 1t.,
{" Won see. we've got to work in llJA
tle sentiment says the postmaster
Then we detailed the two niggers TO
s+ond watch an watch every night III
further orders. OF course we Weren I
afraid that Jack would get out, but tna7
The covotes was shore to come an Dig
for him So the niggers had to stand
guard. cause we didn't aIloW 10 nII
hunks an scatterins' OF JACK rouuu
loose after the trouble we took.
ALFRED HENRY LEWIS.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1895-06-12

4 GOOD APPETITE and refreshing
sloe, M this season indicate a coadl-
+ion If bodily health. These are given
by Hoods Sarsaparilia. IL makes pure
blood and good health follows.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1895-06-12

uOOD'S PILLS are purely veget-
able harmless, effective, do not pam OF
rrr.frea
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1895-06-12
~ THE MEAT MARKET.

Rutcher-Wil YOU have a round
steak. miss? 49,. oo.o
what shape it is in, so It's IenueI'
Detroit Free Press.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1895-06-12
rHEDARK


his best style, out inc
named only half spent.
we doe exclaimed a
.rrn down the lights ana
tH-s Martin viii tell one
N Martin viii tell one.
r- hostess.
suffered moment 5 e--'-
-e silence -el- .l U.y -, t ,',~
She was S,.~-s1' ...,.
ANA ne, e0..'e-''o' u' '-s
....i. i'-s,.,
ou-. l-" "o'9
inner very loo"@ -ol ,0-'
ar.es. ana lot s--',' , , 1,-l,''
nor e-. ,,i -,
a.. -,e circre of ev-
t..
,.-.
,J Il cannon '1-. q 49,,
n -o" zone SUI 077l',.7
.iS'u1 iee''"7 VA
.o ghost story
u. of q STORY VIII uo'
cam write suon V"-'l ''..S
tell Jnen. ,o0' s"Lu
-cet1..l.
l---e story Wulcu u,'s
Ull1lul-e7s' ll Ao'l--us
l'' l-'-e p-vS.S
many pl'SS' -'7 10
"-.-- '"--o "-"O' arg
..,.....- -,--f.s i+..ls
.,--'' ...-....l.. -....,
., ,,,.,' ..,..'I,.
---o' ''' '''''7
-.
',@ o-o 0' Gus, ~.
.- '0o- So"
,,r~7,ursa the co.
.5 ,ro-ssr voice
so s'aS 20 ~ S 5.s.
- 49, and
-, -. .....,, ',.
20 N9-S0'- "9 ",l'
one ",S ''1'''7
sAe nau d ll'Ss.'-l. q
nome M" go guy 49,
ANA she also lleue l-e
lrosins JlaJ DOORS l"aC
"-eaee ana "oIN "oOIo
that she dldn neeu io'e'
opportunity or maNllS ueI
She had lover. But ne
US herself. and even less
ned. She recognized his
..lrac-er. his sJeadtaslness
ness. but they counted Tot
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1895-06-12
NOTICE
OF the Drawing for Redemption
of Bonds of 1885 of the City Of
Wheeling.

Notice is hereby given by the commits
soners of the loan Of 1855 OF the city 81
Wheeling, that on June 81, 1888, pursu-
ant TO the requirements Of the or1i-
nance of said city. passed May ~,
1SSj entitled "An Ordinance 10 Pro-
vide for the Issue and sale Of Bonds Of
the city of Wheeling. TO be known as
Bonds of 1883, and for the redemption and
payment thereof, and providing for the
pavment into the city Treasury OF GER
tain amounts from the revenues Of the
CAS- and Water Works" the following
described bonds Issued under said or
dinance were duly determined by lot
bv said commissioners for redemU-
ton and payment on the first day
of July 1895, 10 wit: Bonds No. one
~ for 500. No. two (2), for 800, No. six
as for 500 No. twenty-three (2D. for $3.50.
No sixty-three 63), for $500, No. seventy
two C72) for 500. No. seventy-siN G6l, for
$500. No cighty-five C5l, for 900; No.
and ten 0lD. for 500. No. one hundred
and nineteen OlW. for $1,000; No. one huns
drei and thlrtv-four O3D. for $1,000. No.
one hundred and lorty-threc Qf5) Tor
81 OO0. No one hundred and lfty-six $50.
FOR 81 600. No one hundred and seventy
1--WE O75). for 81 100. No one hundred and
ninety-six $3.50. for $1,000. No two hun
bonds viii Doe rcdemmrd and paid at the
Bank Of the Ohio Valley 80 the city OF
Wheeling. West virginia, by said COM
r1issioucrs on and after said first day Of
Julv 1850. and that said bonds so deter
mined will cease 20 bear interest from tho
last mentioned day and date.
COMMISSIONERS OF THE LOAN OF
jeiera BY P. b. Dobbins Chairman.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-02-07

| After two days of terrible hardships and
| exposure he returned with a good supply
| of venison. From that day the two men
| lived on meat until they reached Mt.
| Idaho, six weeks later. As soon as the
| wounded prospector could be moved, Mr.
| Campbell placed him on litter and
| dragged him over the snow and up and
down those hills, little by little, day by
day, living on an exclusive diet. When
the strong young Scotchman reached the
settlement he was mere skeleton and
the flesh was worn from his bony arms on
| which he had borne his burden.
Seven years ago William Rhodes (the
| discoverer of Rhodes creek placer mines)
John Rise and j. d. Crane we're over
taken by the winter SHOWS in the Bitter
Root mountains near the Lolo trail These
men were developing a prospect in that
district and the early SHOWS sur
prised them. Before they could get
started homeward Rhodes was stricken
with paralysis and could not be
moved. They had a limited sup
ply of grub, but they never thought of
running from the hideous fate that was in
prospect. AS the win er became severer
they worked and watched in turns until
they had a cabin and a supply of wood.
search of game. Finally they found the
haunts of a herd of elk, but they were Is
miles from the cabin. They killed,
dressed and cached winters supply of
meat, and thereafter transported it over
the long snow blocked trail they had
blazed through the forests, as occas on
would permit. But these true friends
watched their charge until he passed
away.
The snow fell to depth of 30 feet, and
they passed to and from their cabin by a
long winding stairway of snow so feet
long. When they looked over the white
expanse the only evidence of a human
habltation to be seen was a smoke-black-
ened hole that was kept open above the
top of the chimney by the fire below.
Poor "Blll'' Rhodes was buried in snow
at least % feet from the ground. Messrs.
Rsse and Crane were rescued in the early
spring by friends from Lewiston, who
went to their relief.
Warren p. Hunt was q mail carrier in
mining days, 30 years ago. On one of his
journeys to alleviate human misery he
came to the raging treacherous Salmon
river when it was hewing and grinding
great gorges of ice. The bridge was gone.
Across the chasm was a single, sagging,
swaying cable. He grasped this and went
hand over hand the whole distance of 400
feet.
Men who are familia with such deeds
as these and know the heroes who enac-
ted them cannot conceive combination
of circumstances that would justify the
desertion of a companion to die alone and
unattended. In fact there was an I'M
written law in pioneer DAYS that made it
a crime as heinous as murder to desert a
fellow man who was helpless and in need.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-02-07
CURREN HUMOR.

"And why" said the thoughtful young
lady, 'do you think the Gowanuses are
Irish? l never heard of any member of
The family being on the police force."-
Boston Transcript.
You never accept any more of my
jokes about lady shoppers who never
buy" said Smokers to the editor. mo;
I'm married now" was the satisfactory re-
sponse.-Detroit Free Press.
Mrs. McBride-John, dear, why are
some grocers called green grocers? Mr..
McBride-To distinguish them from cash
grocers, Vogue.
Gus Clamwhooper-So you are happily
MARI ed to Miss BERTHE McGinnis? Peter
Amsterdam-I suppose so. She IS happy
and l am married.-Teras SJtings.
"It's almost disgusting to see the man.
nIsh airs Miss Whrler takes on" what
is she doing now?' Learning to sharpen
a lead pencil. "-Chicdgo Inter Ocean.
Customer-What in the world is that I'M
earthly bowling overhead? Clerk (smil-
ing)-There is a painless dentistry estab-
lishment up stairs, sir.-Yonkers States
man.
Sibyl-When Steve proposed to me he
acted like fish out of water. Triple
Why shouldn't he? He knew he was
aught.-Burlington Gazette.
"Oh, by the way, Henry" twittered Mrs.
Wickwire, II heard the queerest thing on
the car to-day. A rough looking man who
sat next to me was telling another one
that his dog had won $50 bones in a fight
last night. That will be enough for him
TO gnaw on for nearly a year, won't it Pr
Indianapolis Journal.
~ never give anything to a young,
healthy person." Beggar-Do you expect
me to become an old cripple just to suit
you ?-Ffiegende Bldetter.