davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1895-01-10
One of Blair's Yankee Stories.

On that occasion, during his long
speech, to illustrate the acumen of OBJ
scure men, Senator Blair read from a
New England newspaper, as a part of
his speech, the following story:
Deacon Cole came into the town of
New Hampton, \. H., n evening,
and driving up to the store at which
he always traded, in front of which
there were half a dozen loungers, he
inquired if anyone had seen his wife
Polly that day. No one had, and he
went on to say that she had suddenly
disappeared about nine o'clock in the
forenoon, and he had not seen her sIncc.
do you figure that she has skipped
out?" asked one of the crowd.
Hardly. Polly's f~ifty-seven, you
know, and as homely as a toadstool."
but wimin is Gurus critters OBJ
served another citizen. "She might
have gone off to the nayburs in a huff"
I've bin to all the nayburs,' replied
the deacon.
Searched the house?'
"Yes."
"Ain't in the garrett"
"No."
saint down cellar?"
"No."
"Ain't in the barn?"
mo"
Nor in the smokehouse?"
"No."
"Well, that beats me. Bet you ten
TO one she's gone crazy and wandered
off. OF else she's got tired of You and
skipped"
What's the fuss here?' asked a tin
peddler. as he drove up.
The facts were given him, and he
turned on the deacon with:
why, dang your buttons, you don't
know even a little bit! She fell into
the well, in curse, and you'd better
hurry home and get her Quit"
The deacon drove away at a rafting
pace, while the crowd laughed at his
EXPENSE; but mex day when he ap-
peared in town l asked him if he had
any news Of his wife, and he replied:
"Oh, yes, Polly was in the we'll all
right enough. and had been STANDING
in water up TO her chin all day. Rather
blamed me for not hearing her holler,
but siic got all over it after being dried
out"
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1895-01-10
The Poor Fellows.

Banks Did you enjoy the play last
night? ..
Rivers-No; there was "a woman in
the seat behind me who had seer it be.
fore.-Truth.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1895-01-10
Two Children .SuYocated.

NEW YORK, ian. 5.-The apartments
occupied by NJ chael Berbrick at 434
East Seventy sixth street were dam
aged by fire Friday morning. Ber-
bricks children, John and Michael,
aged 5 and 4 years, respectively, were
smother ed to death.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1895-01-10
A Joke on Honest John Irwin.


Many men try to defraud the gov
eminent in the matter of the payment
of taxes, in customs duties and in other
ways. Occasionally these men have
twinges of conscience and send money
to the secretary of the treasury. Large
amounts in the aggregate are thus re-
ceived annually, and all such contribu-
tions are recorded in the books as cred
tied to 1.-The conscience fund" the
broad assertion may be made that all
of these moneys come from violators Of
the law.
Hon. John n. Irwin, of Iowa, was
made governor of the territory of Idaho
in 1888. and visited that country, but
declined to reside there. He returned
to Iowa, resumed his business and sent
his resignation to President Arthur.
The resignation was not Immediately
accepted, and many months passed be-
fore a new governor was appointed.
Finally, in order to settle the treasury
accounts, a draft was SEN to Mr.. Irwin
for 81, 500 in payment for his services as
governor of Idaho. Being an honor
able gentleman and scrupulously care
full in such matters, Mr.. Irwin Endorsed
the check and returned it to the treas
ury department without collecting the
money. TO his surprise, amazement
and Indignation, it vas credited to the
conscience fund" Mr.. Irwin tried in
vain to have the books changed; but
there was no other place in the treas
ury to put the money, and there it
stands credited to the conscience
fund" 1t is in no sense discreditable
to Mr.. Irwin, but a matter of really
great credit to him: for most men
would have accepted the money. But,
at the same time, he was annoyed at
first with the disposition of the check
which his conscience would not allow
him to accept.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1895-01-10

print it as news or as opinion, just as
yon please; but / am telling you a fact
which is beyond question"
Senator Hansbrough was elected to
succeed Senator Pierce, as predictedi
but when he told me the story, it
looked improbable enough to be M Of
Dick Bright's fish stories. lie has been
a very good senator, too. He was al
ways a hard w~orkingman; struggling
in youth for bread and butter. Political
elevation has not changed him. He is
always up with the sun and never idle.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1895-01-10
What Counts Nowadays.

II was surprised to hear Browns
book sold so well; II was a miserably
poor story"
Yes, but it was beautifully bound,
You know."--Truth.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1895-01-10
An EyDeriment.

Sweet-What in the world did you
buy hat kodak for?
Sours-I wanted to see if l couldn't
get my wife to look pleasantly. Y.
World.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1895-01-10
BELGIUM FOLLOWS SUIT.
American Beeves Denied Admission to- the
Port at Antwerp.

IUTt ~ HHtWtTp.
CHICAGO, Jan. 2.-On New Years day
Nelson Morris, the well-known packer
and shipper of dressed beef and ex-
porter of live cattle, received a cable
gram from his agenta t Antwerp which
conveyed the unwelcone ne WIS that the.
Belgian government mas prohibited the
importation of live cattle from the
United States on the ground that pleu-
ro-pneumonia is prevalent in this coun-
try. This closes all the ports of con-
tinental Europe against American
cattle and beef products and leaves to
the exporter only the British market
which, in its present condition is moi
a desirable one.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1895-01-10
A Detected Lover.

Tom-You look awfu! blue. / sup
pose it's because of Miss Maybelle's
having rejected you.
Cholly-Yes. can'thelp feeling sorry
for the poor girl.-Chicago Record.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1895-01-10

LONDON, Jan. Z. - The Standards
Vienna correspondent telegraphs that
a dispatch from Constantinople de-
MES the report that the governor of
Bitlis has been assassinated. Con-
stantinople newspapers of January s
published a telegram from the COVER
nor, Tahsin Pasha himself, stating
that the district of Bitlis was COM
pletely tranquil.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1895-01-10
A Senator's Good Resolution.

Senator Pettigrew, of South Dakota,
was in Washington during the two
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1895-01-10

There has bAen no material improvement
in general trade within a week. A { ,bulation
OF Bradstreet's ~telegraphed Iepor S from The
more important trade centers does not reveal
specially hopeful views as to an Improvement
in business in the near future. In many in
stances trade revival is declared to depend on
a settlement of the currency question. The
most encouraging expressions OF opinion are
that merchants are hopeful"
The Louisiana populist., 1895-07-26
A Pretty Window.

Another beautiful window. tho sub
lect of which, symbolizcd. is the ex-
ploration of the Mississippi vailev.
will soon be placed in Memorial hail
at Harvard 10y the class of 1895. The
late Francis farkman, the historian.
furnished the designers of the window
with Il copy of the only known por-
trait Of La Sale from the original at
Rouen. The color scheme of The
window is golden, running from yell
low to deep orange. The figures, life
size, are in dark colors. La Sale is
standing bareheaded, holding in his
right hand a sword and in his left a
scroll. Marquette, in the garb of the
Jesuits, upliGts a cross in his right
hand. In the small panel beneath
the figure OF La Sale is the royal seal
OF France, and below Marquette is
the seal OF the Society of Jesos. The
design of the window is taken from a
dormer window in the palace of Louis
XIV at Versailles, and is in the style
of that period. with heur-de-dis in the
ornamental border.
The Louisiana populist., 1895-07-26
Dog Dentists and Taylors.

It Is well known that there are
dentists in London and Paris whose
specially 1t is to fit lap dogs with set
OF false teeth. 1t now appears from
a Partisan monthly magazine Of fash
ion that there are tailors and fashion
plates for dogs. The list of garments
includes mackintoshes, Jaeger vests,
comforters and respirators, side pock-
cts with q handkerchief inside, fur
collars, small silk umbrellas, which
dogs are taught to carry over the
head.
The Louisiana populist., 1895-07-26

Says correspondent OF a Washing
ton paper. | met man recently who
had just come back from one of these
upronounceable towns up in the Penn
sylvania oil regions. He has been
spending l don't know how many
months among the Swedes up there,
and he has a great many things to
tell of them. He says that just be-
fore he left--I can't remember the
towns name-there was Methodist
revival. A great many of the Olsens
and Petersens and Knudsens were
converted. To one of them, Nels
Petersen, the leader of the meeting
he said: ''Nels, will you work for
God?" Nels shifted uneasily. A
Swede. you know, can't express any
thing at all with his face, except the
national stolidity. "Ae don't know"
he said, hesitatingly. 'Ae got a
guide yOb at sne factory. Ae take ae
keep dat"
The Louisiana populist., 1895-07-26
Some Ely Observations

ia fly drops into beer glass, says
a German paper, one who has made q
study of national characteristics can
easily tell the drinkers nationality by
his action. A Spaniard pays for the
beer, leaves il on the table and goes
away without saying a word. A
Frenchman will do the same. except
that he swears while he goes. An
Englishman spills the beer and or
ders another. A German carefully
fishes out the fly and finishes drink
ing his beer as If nothing had hap
pened. A Russian drinks the beer
with the fly. A Chinaman fishes out
the fly. swallows it and then throws
away the beer. An American, IL it is
on Fourth of July, does not see the
fly. 1t all goes.
The Louisiana populist., 1895-07-26

A woman claiming to be a Boston
woman, and at the same time saying
''pants" instead OF trousers. says
that, because of the difference in the
formation of the knees OF men and of
women, pants, when worn by woman,
do not bag at the knees so soon nor
so badly as when worn by man.. Thus
it is seen that not only have women
a moral and historical right to wear
pants, but also physical and an aes-
thetic one. But this discovery will
not interfere with the introduction of
the Bloomer garment, which is moth
ing but bag at the knee and which.
like charity. will cover multitude of
crooked shins.
The Louisiana populist., 1895-07-26
WORTH KNOWING,

A project is on foot to erect a monu.
ment to Lavoisier, the great French
chemist.
The sky is whittier over the cultivated
than over the uncultivated portions of
the earth's surface.
A Malaysian spider which is normal
ly of bright golden tint, is said to have
the power Of 'darkening down its bril-
liant coloring when frightened"
Nearly every Japanese trading Junk
has its cat, because cats have the DOW
er to chase away the O-bake, the "hon-
orable ghosts" of men drowned at sea
A cat of three colors is best.
The unrolling Of an Egyptian num-
my, supposed to be that of a princess.
disclosed a curious fraud. The priests
who did the embalming probably spoiled
or mislaid the body intrusted to them,
and for it substituted that of an ordi-
nary negro.
Strasburger, an authority on veget-
able biology, finds Transportation to have
much effect on the size and shape of
plant leaves, and deduces the general
law that the more sunlight and the
drier the atmosphere the thicker and
smaller the leaves will be.
1t is now believed, and with high prob
ability of the truth Of the theory. that
the shooting stars which sometimes fall
to the earth in semi-molten condition,
are almost or wholly devoid Of heat
when they enter the atmosphere. They
are set on fire by friction against the
air. due to the rapidity Of their motion.
In the sixteenth century there was a
curious enactment in England whereby
street hawkers were forbidden to sell
plums and apples. for the reason that
servants and apprentices were unable
to resist the sight Of them. and were
consequently tempted to steal their en-
ployers' money In order to enjoy the
costly delicacies.
The Louisiana populist., 1895-07-26


a comparative tenderfoot.
1t was the noon hour, and the two had
halted to partake of their small store
of rations. They had been eating for
several minutes in silence when at last
jonas said
Looks kind O. discouragin' at the
present writin', don't it?"
Rather" Robert replied.
We've been away from camp week
now," Jonas went on. IAN though we've
put in the time steady lookin' for Old
washita's great heaps O. gold, we hain't
seen no hair nor hide of it so fer"
NO" Robert admitted, "and 1t be
gins to look a little like we were not
going to see anything of the kind"
ut does look a leetle that way, fer
fact" Jonas agreed. ITO my mind the
chances air that the blamed Injun was
lynn all the time when he told bout no
much gold"
"Then you've about concluded that
we are on a wild goose chaser"
Yes, jest about. You see, Bob. Old
Washita said the gold was to be found
on this here slope, 'twixt the foot O. the
spur up thar an the river down yon-
der"
Yes, that's true
oval, we've searched the ground over
faithfully time an ag'in, hain't we?'
"Yes."
AN we hain't had a smell O. no gold
neither, have we?"
mo"
Then don't it begin to look kinder
like the old Injun lied?"
We'll, it does look that way, Jonas;
but yet 1 can't hardly believe he did.
You know the old man was dying, and
We had taken him in and cared for him,
and can't believe that he would hatch
up lie under such circumstances just
to get us to make a chase like this"
at don't look like he would. shore
enough" Jonas admitted, scratching
his head perplexedly. But what
puzzles me is this, Bob. If thars any
gold here like that old Injun told bout.
whar is it? That's the question I'd like
to have answered, If you please.
Its question 1 can't answer, sure"
Bob said, with a shake of his head.
Still, think Old Washita was honest.
and that the gold is somewhere in this
vicinity"
II wish to gracious knowed whar
bouts in this vicinity" old Jonas said
with a sigh. I've counted lots on
f1ndin' that gold, an figgered out
how how I'd go back East to
my wife an children an make a nice
home for 'em; an now it comes mighty
hard to be disappointed an have all my
fggerin' go for nothin'."
Yes, it's pretty tough" Bob admitted
sadly; "but IL we can't find the gold we
can't help 1t. We've done our part in
searching for 1t faithfully"
Yes, an thar's nothin' more we kin
do. Tough as 1t is to do so, we've got to
give up the sarch an go back to camp,
an take to work for wages ag'in. Our
dream o. wealth is shore knocked out"
1T certainly looks like it,"
There followed long silence, during
which Jonas and Bob appeared very
thoughtful. The failure to find the
af uva h 4
The Louisiana populist., 1895-07-26
The Game of Golf.

People are apt to consider that
golf in England is quite modern in
PRODUCTION, and it will be news to
many that it was popular and that it
fourished pretty close to London
more than a hundred years ago.
Evidences of this may be found in q
fine engraving by Valentine Green of
a picture after l.. F. Abbott, entitled
'Golfers on Blackheath." and dated
17Q0
The Louisiana populist., 1895-07-26

THE GOLD LAY IN SHINING HEAPS
told about was a great disappointment
to them both.
Old Jonas had spent years In the
West seeking a fortune, and always
luck had been against him. Time and
again he had been one of the first to
reach a new goldfield and stake of q
claim, and while others who came aft
or, struck wealth all around him, his
claims invariably turned out worthless.
To him 1t began to look as though for
tune had decreed that he should never
gain a stake.
Bob was a new hand in gold hunting.
and as yet he had not received very
many rebuffs from fortune. Only for a
few months had he been in the noun
tains, and consequently he had not had
time to get taste of the disappoirit-
ments that had fallen to the lot Of
Jonas. Still he had come out full of
confidence, and even a few months de-
lay In the accumulation of fortune
was a great disappointment.
Bob, however, was more regretful of
their failure this time on old Jonas ac-
count than on his own.
Two or three months before he had
been very sick, and old Jonas, seeing
that he had no friends near. took care
Of him as a father would, and nursed
him back to health again.
From that time Bob had loved the
old man, and had been anxious at all
times to do something to repay his
kindness.
He knew how much Jonas wanted to
return to his wife and children, and
when old Washita. who came to them
sick and dying. and was taken In and
cared for by them. told them of great
heaps of gold over on the slope to the
east. Bob resolved that for Jonas sake,
more than his own. they would find
that gold.
But now they had made the search.
and had made 1t thoroughly. and no
gold had rewarded their efforts.
1t was long time before either spoke.
but at last Bob said:
Jonas. what do you think we had
better do next?"
II hardly know" Jonas replied.
'Shall we 60 on searching?"
<what's the use? We've sote over
the ground time an ag''n. an II thar
The Louisiana populist., 1895-07-26
just About.

A London paper, as a sample OF
American meanness, relates very cir
cumstantially how an American gave
one shilling to a man who found his
lost purse, containing GAO. II he had
been an Englishman whose purse was
restored, he would likely have had
the fellow arrested on the charge of
ttealing il.
The Louisiana populist., 1895-07-26
Galvanized Steel Wire Fencing.

The most extensive and complete
plant for the manufacture Of wire fenc-
ing In the United States Is the De Kalb
Fence Company, located at De Kalb,
Ill. For years prior to 1890 barbed
wire was extensively used for
fencing. but those using 1t often lost in
fine stock, more than its cost and to
avoid danger to man or beast there was
need Of. and o demand for, q barbless
fence.
The proprietors Of this company
having spent more than IL years In the
manufacture of wire fencing, recog-
nized this fact. and have produced the
best lines Of smooth wire fencing for all
purposes now in use. The success Of
this company II due to the managers
adopting the trus business principle Of
making good what they make. putting
enough material In their lines to make
them both strong and servicsable. in
stead Of producing a cheap flimsy ar
ticle only to meet the price OF q fence
that has never given satisfaction. This
IS what has made their fence so popular
and In such great demand and to-day
they have over 10 special machines
with q capacity OF over p miles Of
fence per day. and their fencing Is used
In every state In the Union. The fence
most used II their Cable Steel and Hog
Fence for field fencing. Cable Poultry
Fence. Steel Web Picket Fence, and
Park and Cemetery Fence. and to COM
plete same they also make gates Of wood
or steel frames to match. and also fur
nish iron posts. All Of their styles OF
fencing are strong. neat. durable and
economical In price.
And everyone needing fencing Of any
kind will consult their own interests by
sending to the De Kalb Fence Co.. 121
High street. De Kalb. ILL.,. for their A
page catalogue and prices. The reader
Is also directed to their advertisement
In this paper.
The Louisiana populist., 1895-07-26
Tobacco Chewing Dog.

Supt. McAlvey has a little English
mastif pup, eight months old and weigh
ing l35 pounds, that has developed an abb
normal appetite for tobacco. He acquired
his taste for it by watching Amos chew,
no doubt, and he is never happier than
when he is given "chaw" He chews and
spits like any other man and has never yet
been sick. His tobacco habit is very ex-
pensive one and he will be given treat
ment of No-to-bac in the hope of curing
Argus News.
The Louisiana populist., 1895-07-26
Turkish Marriage.

Among the Turks bath money forms
en- item in every marriage contract,
the husband engaging to allow his
wife a certain sum for bathing pur-
poses. II it be withheld she has only
to go before the cadi and turn her
slipper upside down. II the complaint
be not then redressed it is ground for
divorce.
The Louisiana populist., 1895-07-26
Chine No Flghte.

Official report of Japanese losses in
the late war with China show that an
empire of 500, ,000,000 or 400, 200. 600
people was conquered with loss Of
only 62S Japanese killed in battle.
Apparently the Chinese soldier did
not know just where the Jap was at.
The Louisiana populist., 1895-07-26
WASHITA'S GOLD.

LID JONAS and his
companion. Robert
White, had strayed
away from the
mining camp and
were alone in a
wild, desolate part
of the Rocky Noun
tains.
Jonas was an old
time miner, and
knew the mountains
as well as any man
living,
The Louisiana populist., 1895-07-26
Best Weather Prophets.

The birds are weather prophets.
Fishermen and shepherds often are
guided by the augury of birds, some
of their actions SO surely foretelling
change of weather. When the rocks
come home by dap and indulge in one
of those mad and may dances. cav
ing loudly, this is sure presage Ct
coming rain.
The Louisiana populist., 1895-07-26
KNOWLEDGE

Brings comfort and improvement and
tends to personal enjoyment when
rightly used. The many, who live bet
ter than others and enjoy life more, with
less expenditure, by more promptly
adapting the worlds best products to
the needs Of physical being, will attest
the value to health of the pure liquid
laxative principles embraced in the
remedy, Syrup Of Figs.
Its excellence is due to its presenting
in the form most acceptable and pleas
ant to the taste, the refreshing and truly
beneficial properties of perfect lax
alive; effectually cleansing the system,
Gispelling colds, headaches and fevers
and permanently curing constipation:
1t has given satisfaction to millions and
met with the approval of the medical
profession, because it acts on the Kid
neys, Liver and Bowels without weak
ening them and it is perfectly free from
every Objectionable substance.
Syrup of Figs is for sale BY all drug
gists in 6Oc and 81 bottles, but it is man
xfactured by the California Fig Syrup
Co. only, whose name is printed on every
package, also the name, Syrup of Figs,
and being well informed, you will not
accept any substitute if offered.
The Louisiana populist., 1895-07-26
Tobacco Weakened Resolutions.

Nerves irritsted by tobacca. always craving
for stimulsnts, explains why It II so hard 10
tobacco habit euro because It acts directly on
affected nerve eeptcrs, destroye irritation, pro-
notes digestion and healthy. refreshing sleep.
Many gain 10 pounds In 10 days. Yos run no
Druggists everywhere. Book free. Address
Sterling Remedy Co. New York City or Chicago.
The Louisiana populist., 1895-07-26
Ten Thousand Miles or Thirty,

tt matters not which, may subject you to sea
sickness on the "briny deep" Whether you
kre yachtsman. an ocean traveller out for
day or two's fishing on the salt water, or even
kn inland tourist in feeble health, you ought
TO be provided with Rostetter's Stomach Bit
ters valuable remedy for nausea, collie, bill
pusness, acidity OF the stomach. malaria, rheu-
matism, nervousness and sick headache. Lay
In an adequate supply.
The Louisiana populist., 1895-07-26
Celebrated Several Dates.

The early Christians celebrated
Christmas at several different dates.
Some communities observed the 1st
of January; others the 9Th; others the
29th of March, the date Of the Jewish
passover; others the 29th of Septem-
Der. the date of the feast of the taber-
nacles.
The Louisiana populist., 1895-07-26

Sea water contains silver in consid-
erable quantities. 1t is deposited on
the copper sheathiug of ships in
amounts sufficient to make its reduc-
tion profitable.
The Louisiana populist., 1895-07-26
II!

Il the lava and ashes vomited from
Vesuvius since A. ID. 79 could be
moulded into bricks there would be a
sufficien. number to make city as
large as New York and London COM
hined