River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-10-10
PITH AND PolNT.

Next Door Neiglfbor-"My new
organ has twenty stot s." The Suffer
er-"Why don't you use 'em once in
awhile?"-Syracuse Pd st.
DO you know yorf letters. Jackw'
''No, sir; but the postTfan does, and he
always tells. 1 don need to know
'en. "-Harper's Round Table.
--He-"You know khat man pro.
poses, She-"No, z don't. Mr.. Soft.
ly; I've only heard r." CThen BUSH
ness was begun. Bottom Globe.
well, old chapI how did your
wife receive you Will Ia you got home
last night?" "Wouldf speak to me?'
Lucky dog. Mine Judy.
-He-"I believe Twill propose to
her by telephone. b you think she
will accept me?" Shd -"She ought to
if you ring her up properly. "-Har-
per's Bazaar.
AT the Cat Show. Mrs S.-"What
Is the name of your tat2" Mrs. W.
"Claude." Mrs. 5. fNhy do you call
it ClaudeP" Mrs. =" Because it
scratched me-"
-Tommy-''Paw. NAT sort of prices
are fabulous prices?" ir. Figg-"Well.
actors salaries as abolished in the
papers are usually tha4 kind Indian
apolis Journal.
-"Well nv dear, bat did you do at
the sewing circle to-Cby?" "Oh, moth
ing much. We tore p few reputa-
tions and sowed few seeds of discord
In the congregation Harper's Bazaar.
-"Some of the woods finest litera-
ture is out of prin9" remarked the
bibliophile. 'That'sI right" replied
the poet, 81 can't get an editor to
touch my productions. Washington
Star.
Little Dick-'Msss Mamie is 'aw-
fully shy, isn't ship" Little Dot
"WhyP" Little Dick -"She has most
of her clothes made hst like mems, so
men won't get in low with her. The
Sketch.
Jamie" sharplf called out his
mother, you've beef loafing all day.
Satan always finds 81 ne work for idle
hands TO do. Taxed this basket and
bring in some kiHfilings.
Tribune.
Editors Wife yWho wrote this
beautiful article on How to Manage a
Wife9" Editor = fYoung CUTLER
Editors Wife-''Wh1 l didn't know ne
was married" Ed Eor-"He isn't
Philadelphia Post.
Perhaps He Gait Stay On.-Mrs.
Darley-"You Gon'4 looll very well,
Jack. Why don't ybu go and take a
bicycle ride? Or ar&you too i'll to ride
a wheel?" Mr.. Darf y-"Well,I think
I'll be better off y Retroit Free Press.
"A Case of Corr ction.- -Custo mer
Tin dry goods stortf -"Will this stuff
wash?" Clerk (frfn Boston) mo,
madam Custome well, | don't
want it." Clerk1f Bat 1t can be
washed madam. ~ etroit Free Press.
Whats that?" asked the public
official as the package was handed
him. IAN infer nal thachine?" "Yes,"
replied the clerk. That's exactly
what il is. Somebody has presented
you with one of thefe fountain pens. :"
Washington Star.
-He-'1 had a Queer dream about
you .last night, NJ IS Louisa. | was
about to give you a kiss, when sudden
ty we were separated by river that
gradually grew as tg as the Thames. p"
She-"And was theAe no bridge and no
boat?'-Household Words.
lit seems to N !" said the mana
ger. "that you do That part of receiv-
ing the money frou4the chief william in
q most awkward m4nner." "Mebbe /
do" admitted the kctor; lit has been
so long since | had chance TO rehearse
with the real stuff Trib-
une.
IL tell YOU" sid the pessimistic
iyspeptic. lit il imb POSSIBLE to convict
a rich man of crinfe in this country"
"You are right for bnce," admitted the
other fellow. by ue time his lawyers
get through with bim there isn't any
rich man to con2 ct."-Indianapoiis
Journal.
81 think l havei b pretty good story
here" remarked the occasional con-
tributor, as he sfated himself and
lighted one of the tlitor's cigars The
editor glanced ovefthe story. Eyes, ="
he said, II think Il is is pretty good
story. tell it to M yself occasionally"
Chicago Times-Hk BRAID.
AT Their Fivd O'clock Tea. The
Daughter of the Hevolution-"At our
asst meeting Mrsk Oldfield told how
her great-grandm4ther sacrificed the
family plate for the cause" The
Colonial Dame-"Yes, I've heard that
the continentals were often hard
pushed to find lead for their bullets"
Truth