The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1895-04-27

cheerfu1ly, as he approached the
gloomy group OF mountaineers
All sWho, are you, anyhow?" asked the
man who was covering the express
messenger. - s>..~ ~'r. =
who am I? I'm the manager Of
this railroad. What do you fellows
mean by stopping one Of my trainse"
The man lowered his rifle and
looked at the manager.
"What's the matter with you?"
added Tornpkins..
''The matters just this, Mr. Mana
ger. You. run the gol-darndest rail-
road in all creation. That's what's the
matter, and we amt a-goin' to stand
it no longer. I don't mind your train
men throwing coal at my dog; I don't
mind 'em sassing my wife an making
fun O. my clothes; but when it comes
to monkeying with my whisky, I'm
dod-gasted if I'm a-goin' to stand it,"
The other mountaineers nodded
their approval of these sentiments.
"Monkeying with your whisky?
What do you mean?" cried the bewil-
dered manager.
: Il mean just what say. They can
throw coal at my dog, they can sass
my"
: Eyes, yes; but I don't understand
about the whisky. What have nv
men to do with your whisky?''
manager of the road? Well. moon
shine whisky's all right enough ordi-
nary days; but we allus has good old
Kentucky fer Christmas. Day before
yesterday I gave your man in this
here kyar a jug and So to bring
me some prime Kentucky from
town fur Christmas. Yesterday
bang through goes your train, jug
and whisky and ALL and never stops.
Now we amt a-goin' to stand
that from no road that ever footed a
whistle to scare the steers. I said I'd
bet my boots next train 'ud stop, and
she has I don't allow no man to
monkey with my likker. He kin sass
my wife and chuck COAL
''See here" said the manager to the
expressman. ''Did you take his ss?"
= "'Twan't me-" said the messenger
Must have been Bill Simmons, on
NO. 9, and she must have gone through
without stopping yesterday
'"Then all you want is your whisky?'
asked the manager, with sigh of re-
lief.
Fair fair, boss. 'Tisn't Christian
like to- drink moonshine at this time
OF the year. Besides he's got my So
and the Jug"
"That's all right" cried the mana
ger: ''Have we got jug on the
train?"
'Here's one," said the mountaineer,
taking jug from behind log. They
had been refreshing themselves while
waiting for the train.
The manager grasped it by the
handle, turned it upside down, and
let the remains of the :'moonshine"
gurgle out, to the horror of the
mountaineers. Then he started
through the train, shouting, Here;
you men with TASKS, I want half your
stock. Pour it in here, and be glad
you get off so cheaply.''
Every man who had a bottle pro-
duced it, and before Tompkins had
gone through two cars the jug was
Drumming full. He went back to the
leader, who now allowed the engineer
and expressman to hold down their
hands.
''Taste that" said Tompkins.
The mountaineer smacked his lips
after sampling the contents. ''That's
a good blend" he said, with solemn
reverence.
blend? You bet it's a blend. I've
blended it myself; there's sample of
every known brand in the states
there. Now tomorrow give you my
word that No. stops and unships
your jug, or there'u be a row. Is
that all right?"
..'It's all right, boss," said the lead
er who had given the word. There
upon his lank company had flung the
old ties and tree-trunlzs clear of the
track: you're a white man, if you
are the manager of this road. And
your men can make fun of my clothes
an sass my wife all they've a-mind to,
an heave the company's coal at my
dog, as long as they know you amt
a-goin' to monkey with my whisky
McClure's Magazine.
Making Voices. =
A French savant, one DR.. Sandras,
will go down to posterity as dis
coverer of method of modifying and
improving the quality of the human
voice. He has made number of ex-
periments, and finds that the voice may
be changed by the inha1 htion of various
substances. Some of these, such as