The Forrest City times., 1895-08-09
GRATEFUL BEAR CUBS.
Tale of a Potato Field by a Man
 from Sinnemahoning Way.
His Uncle's Power of Remembering, His Fathers Business Idea, and His Own Willingness to Take
 Homer's Place.

Honestly" said the man from Sin nemahoning way, II feel sorry for this side of the mountain every time come over from old Sinnemahone! I do. really. Honest, I do. Why? Be- cause, in the first place, this side of the mountain seems to feel its littleness and its away-down-in-t the de pthsness. as 1t were, and l can see it wondering what it's on earth for. knowing that Sinnemahone is just over beyond, kick ing its heels in the air, so to speak, like lamb on the hillside and swelling up, and looking sassy, as if it might be a steer in the oats. And, in the second place, because I have noticed prepon- derance of yaller dog on this side of the mountain, and then this side of the mountains bears ain't up to snuff. I'll fares the land, to hastening ills prey, where yaller dogs accumulate and bears ain't gayr Sorry? Why, I'm so sorry for this side of the mountain that if 1 had a bosom of destruction with me I'd sweep every one of your yaller dogs into the Allegheny river wander, and then go and drive herd of Slime mahoning bears over here and give you a new start in life! Sinnemahoning bears! Why, say, Homer made the mistake of his life in not waiting a few thousand years and being born on the old Sinnemahone! Then he'd have had something to twang his Tyre about! He wouldn't have had to tramp bare foot over the hills of Greece and ad1a- cent hailIVyialyS lyinrr hn~Aao nd heroines out of more or less disrep- utable folks, but he could have stamped and sloshed along the storied Sinnema- honing, in pair of cowhide boots, and sung of bear till the cows come home 1 often lie awake nights regretting that Homer made that mistake. Those Sinnemahoning bears ought to have a Homer to put 'em on record as they should be put. But all is not lost. Homer gave old Sinnemahoning the go- by, and preferred ancient Greece to bears grease, but all is not lost. Old Sinnemahone may not have a Homer, but she has Me! And if her bears don't go down to posterity with bells on my name ain't Praxiteles Pettibone!
 "The trouble with me is, my memory isn't long enough to do the Sinnema- hone bear full justice. have to deal with him as contemporary, and con- temporaneous history is trifle dan gerous to handle, for there are other people who are contemporaneous, and they may insist on proofs. It is much nicer to deal with history that was contemporaneous with your grand father, for then the burden of proof is on him, and all you have tQ do is to cite authorities. Now, if l had a mem could go way back beyond this ques- tion with ease, and show up the Slime malone bear in shape that would be much more amusing than any he has put on within my recollection, amazing as that shape has frequently been. That uncle of mine quit working his memory, though, quite suddenly, and the reaction hastened his death. He was letting it have full sway once, and after he had at last called it in, the new school-teacher, who had never heard my uncle remember before, said to him:
 "Tf had your memory and fearless ness in exercising it, 1 would write a book and call it "Recollections of the Deluge, by Survivor"
 ''Somehow after that my uncle quit remembering and went into decline, and never stopped this side of Jordan.
 When was boy, ten years or so