The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-11-29
ALKALi IKE's PERIL.

A Towering Mountain Above, = Bottom
less Abyss Below, A Grizzly Behind.
From Puck.
Adventures? modestly replied Al
kali Ike, to the question of the inquir-
ing young tourist from the East. Eth
yah. I've had a few little scrapes OF
one kind an another In my time. but
nuthin' that you could really call ad-
ventures. Nacher'l enough, bein' a
man of the world, I've been shot by In
dams four or five times, an stabbed
an the like a time or two by personal
friends. an lost in a few billiards., an
mixed up in am occasional fight an
one thing an another. an tarred an
feathered quite numerously, an run
over an lavishly horned by about
thousand stampeded steers. an drug
across the township with a iariat rope
around by fool neck by my own bron-
off an then kicked me senseless before
i hit the ground. an pretty tollable
near Drained with the butt Of revolt
yer In the hands of a presid1n' elder.
an shot In the back by a charmin-
young grass wilder lady for a little
suthin' or ruther, an branded by a
gang of drunken cowboys. an ripped
an torn an sech like by several kinds
of varmints; but. after all. thar hain't
nuthin' happened to me really worth
calm an adventure"
MY goodness calculated the tour
list. IF you do not call those adven-
lures. / should like to know what you
do call them?"
"Aw!" returned the modest Isaac; 81
reckon episodes Il about the proper
word. But. come to think about 1t. thar
was one little circumstance that hap
pened to me that mebby you might
call an adventure. I was traipsin'
around in the mountains. the time I'm
speaking of, with a huntin party. an
one day / sets out up the canon alone,
sorter lookin' for a grizzly. ] found
him after a spell. I'm crawlin' along
on narrer shelf OF rock. whur the side
OF the canon lowered up quite a piece
In the air above me an fell off on the
other side in a sheer precipice to the
bottom of the gulch, about a thousand
feet below. Wal, bime-bye, / comes to
whur the shelf ends against the blank
wan. an I'm sorter figgerin' on turnin'
an crabbin' back over the tran. when.
all OF a sudden, we're comes the grizzly
I'm lookin' for, rumblin' around an ell
bow in the trail behind me. lookin' as
big as a load of hay am as savage as a
buzz-saw."
Good heavensr exclaimed the lis
tener; how did you feel?'
"Sorter streaked, thank yer! Thar
was, hemmed In like a cat in a bag, on
that thar narrer shelf. with the snow
capped mountain above me an the
roarin' cattyract beneath me, as they
say In stories; with a solid wall OF rock
beneath me an a rampin' ragin' grizzly
bear behind me. gnashtn' his teeth a
whole lot an growlin' shameful. The
varmfnt utters a hidjus roar am comes
at me, a-faunchSn. I throws up my
rifle like this an pumps a slug into
him, which same he don't mind no
more than a sugar-coated pill. With
one sweep Of his mighty paw he knocks
my gun spinntn into the abyss below
an nacher1 enough, I begins for to
pick at the coverlid an grow blue
around the mouth. An then-Har?
What's that, Hank? Why. shore, yes
/ reckon you'll have to excuse me now,
Mr. Eastman; Hank Bitters Is hollerin'
for me 20 come over to the Red Light
an take a little suthin with him. So
long! See you later"
But, heavens, man! Tell me how you
escaped! There you were, completely
at the mercy of the monster who was
on the point of devouring you. What
did you do?"
Jaw! I jest stayed there am let him
devour me-"