Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-03-07
Let U. All Laugh.


He-"Oh, you may talk, but you
would have been mad enough had
married anybody else" Shelves;
anybody l cared anything about
Boston Transcript.
Mr.. Newcomb-"What is the latest at
last three nights 1t has been young
Mrs. Felix in her latest Partisan gown"
New York Ledger
Our statesmen now, the truth to tell,
In deeds Of muscle oft excel;
While our approach to fame must be
Through long debate and repartee.
Washington Star.
"Can't you manage to get up some
thing new to attract people here" II
have 1t. Wen advertise that Trilby
will not be among the living pictures"
Chicago Inter Ocean.
She-"Why, this Is only thirty-two
inches, and you advertise 1t as a yard
wide. Three feet make a yard" Gal
liant salesman-"Not such feet as yours,
dy."-Boston Transcript.
Let the country still be merry
And raise hopeful tune;
For a freeze in February
Means a rosy peach In June!
Atlanta Constitution.
Traveller Qnquiring at famous castle)
Can l see the antiquities to-day?'
Servant am afraid not, sir. My
lady and her daughter have gone to
town."-Household Words.
There's good deal that is swell
about Cholly Cadkins," said one girl.
Eyes" replied the other; 'the only
trouble is that most of 1t has gone to
his head. Washington Star.
He loves to steal an hour away
And give himself treat
On reading up on supstrokes
And sufferings from heat.
Chicago Inter Ocean.
81 saw De Castro, the magician, make
a 500 gold piece disappear in three
minutes" That's nothing You
ought to see my wife with $50 bill at
church bazar."-Atlanta Journal.
"Oh, Georgie" Laura, dearest, I'm
So" 'Stop where you are, George!
I'm ever so glad to see you, of course,
but just will not have my sleeve
rumpled!'-Los Angeles Times.
OF all sad words of wife or cook
These probably are worst,
To man with slender pocket-book:
1.-THE water pipes have burst"
Kansas City Journal.
II do not like big women" said the
needless gentleman sitting next to an
unusually tall lady at dinner, and then,
seeing his blunder, he added, "At least
when they are young.
II say, Doctor, tell me what the diff
ference between the grip and cold
really Isl DR.. Pillem lin n cOnfiden-
tial tone)-The doctors fees People
don't call physician for a cold.--Buf-
falo Courier.
In the spring the young mans fancy
Turns to love and tender sonnets,
But the maiden meditates on
Wrap and dress and new spring bon
nets.
-CnlcaSO luter ocean.
"AIy wife," complained Mr.. n. Peck,
in an outburst of confidence, "keeps
me in hot water all the time" And all
the other passengers in the car looked
at him i'm shivering envy.-Indianap-
oils Journal.
Little sister-Any new studies this
term? Little INSTRUMENTATION
whats that?" 'It's learnin' how to
read thing so 1t will sound rs II you
was at the other end Of q drainpipe."
Good News.
Mr.. Djones you think Johnny
is getting too big to be a messenger
boy? Mrs. Bjones-No; I'd rather keep
him there, because there Is no danger
of his getting into fast company
Philadelphia Record.
"Why does Bliggins always insist on
his wife being present when he makes
a political sppech?" "Hum-I guess it's
the only time he enjoys the satisfac-
ton of having her do the listening."-
Washington Star.
o, don't you remember sweet Alice,
Ben Bolt?
Sweet Alice, with hair so brown?
She puts as much calico now in her
sleeves
AS she used to put In gown.
Chicago Tribune.
Mamma-"You and your little visitors
are doing nothing but sitting around
and looking miserable. Why don't you
play something" Little daughter
1--WE Is playin'." "Playing whatT
"Ye Is playin' that we Is growed up
Good News.
Briggs-"How old do you suppose Is
our neighbor, Mrs. Gauntley" Higgs
-"She claims to be 49," Briggs-"Oh,
pshaww Higgs-"Well, I've been ac-
customed these many years to hear her
say so, and now 1 really begin to be-
lieye it."-Le Monde Illustrc.