davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1895-11-28
WAS ALL BUSINESS.
Madam Wanted Her Tooth Pulled with,
out ANY Charge for Sympathy.

Madam Wanted Her Tooth Pulled with
out ANY Charge for Sympathy.
She was mature woman, with high
check bones, dappled face and red
hair, says the Chicago Herald. Fling
ing aside her bonnet she got up into the
dentists chair, leaned her head back,
opened her mouth, and pointed to
tooth on the lower jaw.
81 wish you'd see what is the matter
with that grinder, )" she said.
"Yes, ma'am, replied the dentist, in
q sympathetic tone "Has it beenhurt-
ing you long"
"Who said it had been hurting me?n
BEG pardon, ma'am. Inferred"
well. you don't need to infer any
thing. If you're ready to look at that
grinder, doctor, I'm ready to open my
mouth again" And she opened it.
"The tooth, madam" he said, after
briet examination, "is mere shell.
regret"
"What occasion is there for you to re-
gret any thing? Whose grinder is itPn
81 was going to say ii is too late to
save the tooth. 1t is too far gone. Il
it's troubling you any it will have to
come out"
"Well, that's what I'm here for"
''It will be hard to get hold of with
the forceps and ! am sorry to say it will
hurt
"Does it hurt you to pull custom
er's tooth?" she demanded.
"0f course not, but"
well, then, you needn't feel sorry.
| am here on business. don't need
any sympathy. Yank it out"
The thoroughly-humbled tooth artist
wasted no more words. He produced q
pair of ugly-looking forceps and ex-
tracted the offending molar without de-
lay.
whats your billq7 inquired the
woman.
"Fifty cents"
That's the regular price, is it?
You're not charging any thing fo2 SYM
pathy?"
at is tine regular price, madam"
Here's the money. Good-dayp
After she had gone out of his office
the dentist went and sat down by the
front window to rest. 'sIf ] had that
goman's nerve" he said to himself, as
he watched her striding down the
street, 81 could be an alderman and
own whole ward in less than three
months
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1895-11-28
r,AD n DOWN FINE.
shcre ths dow hafr sill nanks Hieh -
Musical Instrument.


@Lcrc IN. Jpw- tafr ssli nanks Hieh -
Musical Instrument.
The sun had just broken over the tops
d H. Czafts one warm morning in July,
% Chicago Herald. The mist that
cttlcs thickly over these half
AS with the nieht-fall was go
1aaccs and disappearing as the
81 higher, leaving the green and
d,aa lure heavy and wet with the
dcS, ia coy nook, on log over
hsar:ng the wild little stream thss
dus.lcd down from gushing spring
abcvs native was seated. earnestly
playing jcwsharp. He twanged the
vib ,al with his thumb, keeping
tir, ssling one Of his bare feet in
the !. wuger below, After ten min
ntes. gsirr which time the sun had got
high rRoasth 10 shine straight into his
eyes be took the harp from his mouth
and ing it on the leg Of his trousers,
exrla..,a a:
l..rl Et that don settl' 'er, whut
willse
Before be had spoken another word 3
stran rstcnped from behind big tree
an1 ssed him:
9Th was the best tune ! ever heard
played on one Of those instrumental"
The mountaineer looked At the
stranger moment, and then, drawing
himsi Il Up in knot on the log, said:
.sD'ye moan it, misterp'
Mean IL? OF course. Why do ycu
ask?"
''It's lax this, mister. Yer see hev
been Jest on the aige o. jinin' tn
Simpson gal. over n tn holler, fer
more'n or var, an when tn poppin' time
KEN she up an says thet ! KANT hev 'er
less / kin play tber jews'a'p. / bin
practicin' hyar on this log for nigh .
month now, I reckon, every day In tn
mornin' fore sunup, an wuz thinkin'
Ell sot hyar, ez eff didn't git tn ha
o'itpu-.v soon, it'd be goodbye, Sa. /.
But AXE me feel better, stranger,
an round these parts mex week
jes' d.. vsr on ther slope cross tn
way an v Kin be my best man."
As thu Granger moved on down the
path In mountaineer struck up his
tune a4lin and played with q vim that
was evidence that thestranger had been
telling the truth.
Along with the fiddle, tine jewshsrp
still ranks high as musical instru.
mens in the mountain regions of Arkan.
sas and Missouri. A native who can't
play the iewsharp is looked upon a.
having very poor prospects.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1895-11-28
Job Printing
Of All Kinds

Is done at this Office in q
Workmanlike Manner, and at
Prices to Compare with the
Times. Your Business will be
Increased by having Your Job
Printing done at this Office.
The LEBANON EXPRESS.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1895-11-28

Dan Rice, the old-tims clown, Is pass,
ing his summer In New York, and looks
as young and fresh as boy from school.
He lectures some nowadays, and knows
how to give an interesting talk, says the
New York World. Occasionally he meets
. venerable person who laughed at his
jokes and grimaces nearly fifty years
ago, and who recalls his grand old edu-
Gated horse Excelsior, over which
Dan himself has shed many .
tear. One day . United States
Justice shook hands with HIM on
the rear Of Broadway car. "Uncls
Dan" said the justice, ''you don't know
me, and this is the first time In my life
that ! have ever spoken TO you, but
when ] was boy crswled under your
tent to see you, got caught by canvas,
man, and had powdered resin sprinkled
all over my hair" The Justice and the
ex-ciown had great laugh over the in
eident.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1895-11-28
SAID BY THE sAeEs.

In activity we must find our Joy, as
well as glory; AID labor, like every.
thing else that is good, is it's own re-
ward.-E. P. Whipple
MEMORY is the cabinet of imagina-
tion, the treasury Of reason, the regis
try of conscience and the council cham
ber of thought t,--Basil.
HOUSES are built to live in, more than
70 look on; therefore let use be pre-.
ferred before uniformity, except where
both may be had.--Bacon.
WEsometimes congratulate ourselves
at the moment of waking from
troubled dream; It may be so the mo
snent after observation-disclosures.
TIE eliminating power Of adminis.
tration Is to well lSnowh how much pow.
er, great or small, we ough. 10 use in
ali circumstances Montesquciu.
REPAisrEE is tine highest order Of wit,
- II bespeaks this coolest yet quickest
AzsTsisa et gsniua ct moment wlaef
~ af{Sguh hts ksAssai.4-ooates,
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1895-11-28
EnlsoN,s METHODS.
~ OsuA Not Invent by Accident or with
out Hard Work.

~ Osua Not Invent by Accident or With
out Hard Work.
EdiRnna genius comes near to justi-
tying thns definition Of the word
which malzes It an infinite capacity for
taking pains, says the Review OF Re.
viewA Are your discoveries often
brilliant intuitions? Do they come 70
you while you are lying awake
nighssrr asked him.
u never did anything worth doing
by accident" be replied, NOR did any
Of my inventions come indirectly
through accident, except the phono.
graph. No; when / have fully decided
that . result is worth getting l go
ahead on 1t and make trial after trial
until II comes, / have always kept
strictly within the lines OF commercial
ly useful inventions. Ihave never had
any time to put on electrical wonders,
valuable simply as novelties to catch
the popular fancy And he named in
distinction some noted electricians
who had made their regulations
through the pyrotechnics Of the pro-
fession.
What makes you work?" / asked,
with real curiosity. 'What impels
you to this constant, tireless struggle?
You have shown that you care COM
paratively nothing for the money it
makes, and you have no particular en-
thusiasm in the attending fame
Il like it, he answered, after q mo.
ment Of puzzled expression, and then
he repeated his reply several times, as
II mine was proposition that had not
occurred to him before. 81 like it, l
don't know any other reason. You
know some people like to collect
stamps, Anything that have begun
is always on my mind, and am not
easy while away from it until it is fin
ished. And then hate it."
Hate it?" / asked, struck by his en-
phatic tones.
YES" he affirmed, "when it is all
done and is q success can't bear the
sight of it. / haven't used telephone
in ten years, and would go out of my
way any day TO miss an incsndescent
lirht.n
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1895-11-28
CHUNKY TowLEs.
Henry watterson's Anecdots of IN Old.
Tune KENTUCKY Gambler.

Henry Wntters0n's Anscdots of IN Old
Tune KENTUCKY Gambler.
1t is related Of Chunky Towles, says
Henry Watterson in the Louisville Cou.
rier-Journal, that in 1852, grown weary
of waiting for the coming OF the latest
intelligence from the National Demo.
cratic convention, then sitting in Balti-
more, he re tired to his bed. An hour or
two after tidings Of the nomination Of
Franklin Pierce arrived, and Samuel
Bugg, Chunky's political guide, philoso-
pher and friend-sn earnest Democrat
withal, and gentleman Of extensive
knowledge proceeded at once to awak-
en- the sleeping sportsman, ''And who
in t,'nnaa- = Franklin Pisrce?r saws
g. nny, says Mir. BugF.
Franklin Pierce is the son Of General
Bcnjamin Pierce Of evolutionary fame.
He was distinguished Representative
and Senator in Congress from New
Hampshire; he was offered q seat
in Mr.. Folks cabinet and de,
clined it; and he fought gallant
iy in Mexico as the youngest
and most brilliant Of New England's
Brigadiers,r .sIR that case" says
Chunky, with decision, an get up and
dress" lie did SO, and came down to
the City Hotel. in front Of which q good
" company was enjoying the summer
night in discussing the news. As Chunky
approached leading Wing exclaimed:
Here is Chunky Towles now, and I'll
bet him one hundred dollars he never
heard Of Franklin Pierce in his life, and
can't tell who he is, Or where he's from.
Chunky paused moment, gzzed com
passionateiy upon his interlocutor, and
then, with an air Of compOsure and
authority, said; ''Put up your pocket
book, Colonel. 1t amt good sporting
rules to win on certainty. Franklin
Pierce, sir, is a son Of General Benjamin
Pierce, of revolutionary fame. He was
distinguished Representative and
Senator from New Hampshire. he was
offered seat in Mr.. Folks Cabinet and
declined it. And he served gallantly in
Mexico as the youngest and most bril-,
Liant Of New England's Brigadiers. He
is the very man we wanted. / was for
him from the first. Hurrah for Piercei"
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1895-11-28

William Hoffman, Of Sebewaing, Pa,
has four pigs that beat any thing ever
seen in that locality. One has no trace
Of hind legs, another has no hoois, but
claws take the place of the generally
thought necessary porcine appendix,
and the two others have claws and toes
and pretty nearly every thing else that
pigs can very handily get along with
ont.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1895-11-28
FOUND OF LATE

A fARrY OF explorera have recent,v
seoveredan immense forest Of Indis
fubber Trees ~ the valley Of the orin,
0co. pAs4'
II The pockets oS cIctkin0 s,.e.ra.a
by > burglar In Indiana were fonnd =
translation Of c@sar'e commenta~ie. :
and psoblem in algebra.
HzEzE p p new element, a mineral
discovered IN the Bolso mines. Il 4
composed Of cubic crystals Of n an :
.,l olus color and has bean christepsd
oHEvArIER scRos while exploring 4
cavern IN the peak Of tTenariffe found
2 Skull which must hsss belonesa te :
~ j
= - q -. Z 1lIalk
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1895-11-28
RarRlngs in All Ages.

The strange fashion Of mutilating and
adorning the human ear has been prac-
ticed and has been in vogue alj over the
world. 1t has especially enjoyed great
favor among the Orientals, and By Per
SLAMS, Babylonians, Lydians, Lybians
and Carthagenians the earring was
worn as commonly by men as by women.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1895-11-28
l. u Nj B F e.
hl'la sEa

Parties desiring lumber can Get
all kinds at short notice, and at bot
tom prices, ofHumphrey & McNee,
on Hamilton creek; or at S. A. Nick
erson's planer at Lebanon, Oregon,
A large stock of all kinds always
on hand at both places, except black
walnut. HUMPHREY & NCNEE.
s''''t'tst"t4+'t1''t' r'''ss'4tp N
Liberal discount for teams coming long distance.
The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1895-11-28
Notlce of ofAdmlnistrntlon.

Notice OF \ minis EtrHtIon.
Notice Is hereby given, that, by order o
thecoun y cnurtoi Linn county oregon, the
undersigned has been duly appointed and
nop is the duly qualified and acting al
ministfaior Of the estate OF Nancy Marks,
deceased Al parties having claims
against said estate are hereby required to
present the same, properly verified, within
six months from the 18th day Of July 1895.
the date Of the first publication hereof, to
the undersigned at the office Of Sam'l n.
Garland, Lebanon, Oregon.
IoBs II. MRKs.
SAM'L MCFARLAND, Administrator.
Atty, for Admr. Estate Of
Nancy Marks, deceased.
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1895-04-18
THE THIRD DEGREE."
How Superintendent Byrncs of New York
Employed 1t In Recent Murder Case.

How Superintendent Byrncs of New York
Employed 1t In Recent Murder Case.
wonder how many people know
what the third degree" really is. Col
umns have been written about it, but
have never yet seen an accurate descrip-
ton of the process of extorting from the
criminal confession ON the Byrnes
plan. 1t is simple enough. however
Tho famous Now York superintendent
merely organizes modern inquisition in
the deep reoesses of his retreat at police
headquarters and marshals his facts be.
fore the criminal
In the case of Caesar, the negro who
was recently arrested in New York for
tho murder of his mistress, o negro
girl, he used first moral suasion, and
later AN apparition of the murdered girl
appeared, from where is mystery, upon
tho wall Of the room in which Caesar
was closeted with Byrnes.
Tho blood stained carpet was held ND
before his eyes. Tho superintendent told
him TO take hold of it and examine it.
That settled it. Caesar broke down
and made full confession, and tho
third degree" was again vindicated.
st. Louis Republic.
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1895-04-18
SAVED BY A WATCH.
How Doughcrty's Timepiecc Stopped IL Bull.
let Aimed ut His Heart.

Row Doushcrty's TiniePiccc Stopped IA Bull
let Aimed at His Heart.
a silver watch, carried in tho upper
pocket of his vest, directly in front of
the heart, was all that saved tho life of
Martin Doueherty of Wissahicko OH, Pa,
recently. Tho watch was smashed to
pieces by bullet from the revolver of u
robhcr, who, with two others, was
stealing brass fixtures from ali engine
a second shot sent another ball whiz-
zing through the calf of Dougherty's leg
Dougherty and another workman
were working ut the new pumping sta
ton, operating hand pumps to draw OF
the water from around tho building
Dougherty was obliged to go to tho
lower side Of the building about 1880
O'Clock, when his attention was attract
ed by voices.
lie approached the doorway and saw
three men engaged in detaching tho
brass work from an engine. He heard
one say, "Oh, this wrench won't fit, y"
80 he shouted to them to let the engine
alone. Tho one nearest him wheeled
about, drew revolver and replied,
Throw up your hands and duck your
head, accompanying his words With
two shots.
All three men then took to their heels,
two going toward tho falls and the third
i'll the same direction toward the park
drive. Though shot and bleeding and
unarmed, Dougherty pursued the latter,
who was the shooter, until, weakened by
loss of blood. he fell to the ground
lIo was much exhausted from shock
md the loss of blood, but his condition
Is not critical. Philadelphia Press.
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1895-04-18
THE INTENSE OIL FEVER
After Being Long Dormant Likely
TO Break Out Afresh.
HIGH PRICES FOR CRUDE OIL
The Supply Last Year Fell Below the
Demand by Several Million Bar
rels. New Wells Being Drilled.
Standard Oil Buying Lands
Largely.

Crude oil ut so may mean n great
deal to Pennsylvania, Ohio and West
Virginia. 1t recalls the times when ov-
erybody who CHANGED to own timber
patch or COW pasture in tho oilfields
was specializing OH the chance of becom.
ing II millionaire.
There was something which appealed
to tho imagination in tho oil region 30
year ago. Fortunes were made and lost.
Life was fast. Towns doomed and tho
travelling theatrical troop prospered.
The country looked crudo and smell
ed of petroleum. 1t was not desirable
residence for the person who wished Gle
gance and refined surroundings. But
there was fascination about the coun-
try and tho people all tho same.
The oil fever is perhaps to break out
again after long being dormant. That
will depend on the permancnce of tho
causes which shall DO found to havo led
to the present rise in price
New wells may DO drilled and Some
new territories opened up, but the real
significance of the upward movement is
to DO found in the effect exerted OH the
oil producing industry as at present con-
Quoted.
For several years the OWNER OF oil
lands has found it Of littlo use to dcvel-
op tkem. Tho refiners were ablc to COM
mand SO abundant supplies without
long transportation that tho price of
crude oil was kept at an almost imros-
sible figure for the producer
Last year tho total number Of wells
completed was only 8, 54S The produo-
ton in II months amounted to Is, 600,
600 barrels. This supply did not meet
the demand by $500, 600 barrels
The natural result of long depressed
prices has come. American oil is better
than Asiatio. Tho demand for export
has been large without having been for
long time felt by the producer or en-
abling him to get better rates
The number of new wells in course
of construction on April is stated as
], 40l-almost half the entire number
drilled last year. New pipes arc going
down all through tho Pennsylvania
and Ohio fields, and old wells are being
torpedoed anew to increase their flow
Many observers believe that this new
activity IL to continue, Notwithstanding
the natural tendency to return to low
prices when an increased production
has been stimulated
But even if reaction follows with
reasonable Quickness tho boon to the oil
regions is considerable. Reports show
that within n fow weeks the Standard
Oil company has spent SO, 900, 900 pur-
Chasing lands from individual produc-
ers Tho now wells will give profit to
many drNlers. who have had little pros
perity of recent years. And most en-
couraging is tho agreement Of all tho
accounts that it is not the reiiner or tho
Spectator who is tho gamer by the ex-
citement, but tho producer who can
supply the legitimate demand for PC
troleum. Nov York Tribune.
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1895-04-18
HE WANTS A WIFE.
A Lonely virginian Sends n letter to N
New dorsey Postmastcr.

a Lonely virginian Sends n Letter to n
New Jersey Postmaster.
Postmaster Robert Carson Of New
Brunswick, n. j., is in receipt of a
letter from lonely Virginian who is
anxious to secure New Jersey girl for
wife. He writes to tho postmaster re-
questing him to hand letter which he
forwards to some likely young woman.
Tho letter is as follows:
DEAR LADIES' want n good wife,
u girl of good disposition and education,
with dark hair and eyes, with not less
than So, 900 or So, 600 OF her own,
which she can use as sho wants to. She
must he not less than feet 3 to s inch
IS i'll height, weigh 1875 TO 145 pounds,
age about 20 or 80 years. Send photo
graph. ] am B feet inches III height:
wogh 1873 pounds; have dark hair and
eyes; mustachc; ago "a; good DISPOSE
tion, sober, kind hearted and true. State
your wealth in your letter I'm car
pentor and good farmer. Quick CORE
spondence and n speedy marriage arc
necessary. Philadelphia Press.
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1895-04-18
Buttermilk and Ice Cream Mt Macs.
CLEARlNG-UP SALE.

Stock Bought From Trustee. Wrighrs,
1876 Main Street.
10 make room for new goods arriy.
ing daily We are Offering special bar
gains OH oil The stock bought from the
trustee, IN dress goods, silks, table
linens, white goods, lace curtains, che
mile poriieres, stamped linen goods.
down pillows, hosiery, gloves, umbrel-
las. ladies', gents and children's under
wear. outings, giughams, laces. em.
brolderies, ribbons, gents furnishing
goods, etc. etc. Call and see the prices.
WMGHT's, lDG Main street.
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1895-04-18
An NG DnN

Miss Nowage-What was dono at tho
Now Woman international Progressive
club today
Bachelor Girl-Nothing You SEQ, Mrs.
Swootio happened to come in with her ba-
by, md before wo all got through kissing
tho little chcrub IL was time to adjourn
Nov York Weekly.
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1895-04-18

Tho jewelry and watch repairing on.
tablishmept formerly kept by Mr.. III.
L. Maxim. at No. III Main street. has
changed hands. Dir. George ID. Chase
succeeding him. Mir. Chase will make
n speciality OF repairing and will keep
on hand full supply Of iewery,
watches, clocks, musical Instruments.
strings. otc. He will also give special
attention to works Tor the trade.
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1895-04-18
Tho Old Way md tho Now.

Tho Cornell university agricultural
experiment. station announces process
by which butter is made out of whey.
1t is said to be scarcely if any inferior
to butter made by the old whcy-name.
ly, cream. philadelphia Ledger.
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1895-04-18
Work For tho Fool killer.

An east side druggist has killed
baby by inadvertently substituting a
deadly poison for a harmless ingredient
i'll remedy prescribed for group. He
says that he is very sorry. New York
Telegram.
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1895-04-18
He Has sycprnlied Them.

1t is tho belief of Major MoKinley's
friends that he has tho entire country
south of Mason and Dixon's limo under
hypnotic influence. Chicago Record.
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1895-04-18
Our better halves say they could not
Buttermilk and Ice Cream at Macs.
Caupbuii,. Easter uIr.r.ur.

All ordering one dozen cabinets at
So will be presented with one of my
carbon aristos with handsome gilt
frame. This offer is only for Easter
week. 172 MAN street.
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1895-04-18
THE LOSSES.
An Estimate of the Mortality In the Re.
cent War In the East.


Tho close of the war between China
and Japan, now apparently close at hand,
makes an estimate of tho loss of life
quito interesting.
MIR. Ma;su, secretary Of tho Japanese
legation in Washington, has made Il
calculation which shows that tho jap.
anese have had 9l2 killed and 2,0Gl
wounded. The Chinese loss is about
5000, not including the wounded. But
tho fact Is that tho reports in the dis
patches regarding the casualties to tho
Chinese arc not reliable, and they prob.
ably really lost twice as many as air.
Matsu has figured out
Tho loss on both sides, however, is
small, considering that the war extend
ed over eight months The Chinese wero
running most OF the time; otherwise
tho results, so far rs their armies are
concerned, would have been far moro
disastrous. w Washington Post
Our better halves say they could not
keep house without Chamberlnin's
Cough Remedy. 1t is used in more
than half the holmes IN Leeds. SINS
Bios, Leeds, Iowa. This shows the
esteem IN which that remedy is held
where 1t has been sold tor years and Is
wellknown. Mothers have learned
that there is nothing so good for colds,
cronp and whoopinR cough, that it
cures these ailments quickly and per.
menently, and that it is pleasant and
sale for children to take. % and 30
cent bottles for sale by oil druggists.
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1895-04-18
ROOM FOR RENT.

one OF Two gentlemen can obtain nicely fnr-
elsbtd room, centrally located, with all modem
ohxenlences, including bath, gas and heat, with.
On three minutes walk OF the electric line 4 g
J.. care NiIginian. nolo-tf