River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-10-17
PITH AND POINT.

Health, beauty. vigor. riches, and
all the other things called good.
operate equally as evils to the vicious
and unjust, as they do as benefits TO
the just--Plato.
-Bookkeeper-'I see by the paper
that our customer, Scudskins, is mar
ried." Fashionable Tailor-"Indeedi /
shall be sorry to lose him "-Clothier
and Furnisher.
Van Jay-"Miss Meeks called me
fool. Do look like fool?" Mil
licer mo. you do not. don't think
she judged you by your looks
Brooklyn Eagle.
Miss Planephace (exhibiting her
photograph" Everybody says it does
not do me Justice" Miss Pert-"Evi-
IDENTIFY the artist is man OF tact
Boston Transcript
The Bicycle. long do
you suppose the bicycle will remain so
popular among the fashionable peo-
ple?" He-"Until 1t becomes estab-
lished as useful vehicle. Detroit
Free Press.
Horse Dealer - "You had better
buy the horse, colonel. You will never
find healthier animal" Col. Jones'
II believe it. If he hadn't been healthy
ali his life he never would have lived
so long."-Tammany Times.
-Edwards-'Brown's system re-
duces horse racing to an exact science"
Richards-"Does it?" Edwards-"Yes
In order to tell how much money
man will lose it is only necessary to
know how much he has brooklyn
Life.
The vocalizer -Tyro-"Well, now
that you have heard my voice, what do
you think of itP" Teacher-"Wait, my
dear sir, till / have had you bound
over to keep the peace, and l shall be
pleased to tell YOU" - Detroit Free
Press
--Blobbs-''What nonsense it is for
the newspapers in their accounts of
weddings to describe the bride being
Blobs-"Well, most girls could find
their way there in the dark. "-Phila-
delphia Record.
-"0f course" said the practical
girl, "there is such thing as love at
sight" I'm so glad to hear you say
It," replied her romantic friend. Yes,
but I'd always advise giving it at least
thirty days to settle, just the same. -
Washington Star.
~ have been almost a hermit"
sighed the successful man. Now
that my fortune is made, and / have a
little time of my own, | find il impos-
sible to get the touch with the world. +"
''You ought to get a bicycle" sug-
gested his friend. indianapolis Jour
nal.
"A lovers hope resembles the bean
in the nursery table; let it once take
root. and it will grow so rapidly that,
In the course of few hours, the giant
imagination builds a castle on the top,
and by and by comes disappointment,
with the curtal AK, and hews down
both the plant and the superstructure.
Scott.
Men seem neither to understand
their riches nor their strength; of the
former. they believe greater things
than they should; of the latter much
less. Self-reliance and self-denial will
teach a man to drink out of his own
cistern, and eat his own sweet bread.
and to learn and labor truly to get his
living. and carefully to expend the
good things committed to his trust
Bacon.
Slow to Tumble.-She had now be-
come desperate. Your family has a
grand name," he observed. II would
prefer almost any other" she rejoined.
with promptness sufficient to suggest
that she had given the subject thought.
After time she sat as one in trance,
and wondered what would be the
chances of his tumbling If a wheat ele-
vator were to precipitate itself upon
him.-Detroit Tribune.