The record-union., 1895-06-22
ye've denied yerself as much as he to put

ye've denied yerself as much as he to put
it bye jest go on spree too"
1t was early in the afternoon Of a snap
PIN cold winters day. Caleb he was over
to Farmer Nelson's till dark. an so jest
spruced up, tucked the money, handker-
cher and all into my pocket. an, havin'
locked up the larder-tor / was minded
that Caleb should go hungry for once till
/ should come home, at my own good
pleasure, to prepare supper. leastways /
want goin' TO have him messin' round
l started straight for Susan Hodges; she
as is the aunt Of yer Jonathan.
put on yer bonnit, Susan," says [,
''an' come to town with me. Pve some
considerable shoppin' to do. Pm minded
to lay in a stock OF calico an some other
useful things as is sure TO be needed III
course of time, an then We'll take tust
rate hot lunch TO warm US up-the very
best TO be found"
Susan opened her eyes l can tell ye, for
when was Martha Tucker ever known TO
be in funds for sech like! But bein' fond
of pleasurin' she was dressed less in two
minutes, an she, allus good company,
an | in a tearin' unnatural rollIckin'
mood, OFT we started for town gay as two
larks.
Well. ye know that lonely stretch twixt
Hodges an the turn in the road that
leads straight into town. Twas midway
along there we heard awful grOans, an
presently we spied a man lynn all
crooked up i'll the ditch by the roadside.
Susan an L we stepped up an asked what
allied him, an could we be of service,
an. he says, groanin' tit to melt heart
of stone:
Gould ye kindly help me out? Pve
fallen with my leg all a-twisted under
me, an fear it's broke. I've been a
lyln' here full hour an more, am can't
move without drefful pain"
so we set to, an worked an tugged
with will, but it seemed we'd never get
him out, an he fallin' back continual an
a-groanin' With no let up. Try again, +"
he KEEP sayin', an so we did, an finally
we got him on to his feet, an he, a-leauin'
on his stick, found his leg WANT broke
at all, an that he could limp along SLOW
Grateful was no word for it-be Jest billed
over with gratitude, an blessed us over
again Ill it was right Elm barrassin', an
then says he:
''Ye TWO hurry along! I've detained
ye quite enough. And I'll take it crawl
in Till wagon or cart happen by, when
mayhap l can beg a lift"
SO we ler him and hurried on into
town.
''S'pose we take our lunch first. What
with tuggin' at that heavy feller, and the
cold and the long walk, Pm hungry as a
bear. Fac. is. pm all tuckered out"
says l, a-laughin at the pun, which
had deeper meanin' to me than to Su-
san.
She agreein', we went straight to Hobbs
hotel, and there | orders right royal the
best as was to be had-roast duck and
vegeta bles-and l took all the sauces and
pickles as was offered, and | tell ye we
ate with mos unusual relish, which
was no doubt partly Ownin to a French
cook as | heard tell Of after-and then we
ended up with two kinds of pie. But
when IL came payin' time my eyes begun
10 start out of my head at sight of them
hggers as Hobbs had set down, and a
long train of dear knows what, catchups
and the like, that l supposed was thrown
in for seas0nin'. My hand went very re-
luctant-Hke into my pocket, but it came
quick enough out and nothin' in it
either.
My handkercher's gonev' L cries.
"lf it's naught but a Handkerchief, ye
can stand the loss better'n this 'ere diu-
ner," says Susan, laughin' at my fright.
"All my money was tied up in itn
gasps, "and l see it all clear-that groan-
IN villainn'
Up l started crazy-like, and goin' to
where Hobbs sat at his desk. L told him
as how I'd lost my money and would pay
him next time l came to town, and as
how l was Caleb fuckers wife over on
the old mill road near Nelson's. And he
says, so pleasant, L could hav' hugged
him:
"It's all right, Mrs. Tucker. Pay
when it's convenient!-its all the same
to me-"
Then shoppin' bein' no go. I says to
Susan, Lets hurry back and see can we
meet that villain" But never glimpse
OF him, be sure, and, moreover, L was SO
genuine tuckered out by the time l
reached Hodges that l accepted of Su-
sans invite to step In and rest, although
it was amos dark and half mile yet to
travel. l dropped down heavy as lead
with encouragement on to her rockin'
chair and jest 'peared like l was glued
fast for half an hour; then, desperate
like, up | started and made for hum
double-quick time.
I was somewhat curious, l acknowl-
edge, to see how Caleb had taken matters
it bein' long past his winters supper
time So l stepped in through the gate
careful, without lettin' it click, and went
round softly to the kitchen winder. L
tell ye, Flossie, if brigands had come
up sudden afore me, my blood would not
hav' frozen more. There sat Caleb at the
kitchen table, and along with him two Of
the worst fellers as lived down our way.
If he'd taken seven evil spirits hum with
him into my clean and garnished house |
couldn't hav' been more scandaliZed, for
they was playin' cards and there was
money on the table-my clean scrubbed
kitchen table. Think of that, tlosSie.
And If it didn't next day get a sech
scrubbin' as never afore was known, to
get otf the detilement of them low-lived
creaturs and their filthy lucre! But that
wasn't all. There was pieces Oh u dark
kind of bread lynn round, and none of
my bakin' neither; and there was a num-
ber of empty glasses and jars which was
mine, and which, moreover, had been full
OF jam and jelly to my KNOWN not many
hours atOre.
Its mighty good joke on Marthar'
says Caleb, with a bloOd-curdlin' laugh,
takin' a spoonful OF ounce marmaiade.
Locks the carriage house and leIs the
stable-door swing. Ha, ha. hap
Without waitln' 20 hear more [ walked
around, Strengthened up stiff, and, enter
in that kitchen, l cries out fierce-like:
Caleb Tucker, the likes of this never
took place in my house atore, nor never
shall again, and the sooner yer disreputa-
bic companions gets out the batterl"
the two of them shut1led to their feet,
lookin' sheepish. but Caleb, fierce as my
self, shouts:
Set down, ye two. will ye? Amt it
my house? g don't need to be bull
rloZed by mad woman as has stole all
she money in the house"
Then and there l. Martha Tucker, told
the first and last lie as, to nay KNOWN,
Pve ever been guilty of.
"Caleb Tucker" says |, 81 don't know
nothin' about the money!"
What. Flossie? 1t wasn't no lie? l
don't know nothin' about two negatives
maxim alternative, but do know that
whatever the words and the letters, in
speerit l told lie, and a big one.
But. Caleb Tucker" | goes on frantic
like, p'raps ye yerself can tell where
some OF that moneys gone to, likewise
where air all my preserves as was to last
US ill fruit time come again?''
And with that / jest hounced out of
tL,o III hnn and hn III L