Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1895-06-09
SECRET ORDERS.
Bill GoSsette Takes His First Lesson In
the Mystery Of GOatmanshlp.
ExTRICATEs HIMSELF NICELY.
DIR. Inndrum's Clever Way Out OF
n PcrpIexing situation-sings from
p.bipd the scenes-A "FemnIe Adj
mirer'sv Request and the Result.

Well. I have just Joined my first secret
order and feel as proud as / did the
morning / donned my initial pair OF
pants despite the fact that l was made
n monkey OF, and in every change OF
procedure the laugh was on me. The
weather really was not so very hot the
night I was given a lesson In gostman-
ship, and there were enough fans IN the
hall 10 keep an army cool. but / never
got so warm in all my life. \ queer
feeling came over me the moment l put
my tan-leather encased Trilby pedal ex-
tremity upon the first step leading up
into the hall. and before L reached the
top OF the stairs my picture would have
made an excellent sign for an ague trade
mark. Talk about going into haunted
castles and making midnight graveyard
visits, but they are as little nothings
in comparison with your feelings when
you are making ready for an ordeal that
you know not OF. When shown two or
three of the little accessories to the tor
ture that / was to be put through per-
spiration trickled from my brow and the
rest OF my face like the sprinkling OF
a Broad-street water cart, while an Icy
sensation filed that part OF my anatomy
usually designated to express sentiment
While I could not see what was going on,
| had a most realistic instructive Know
ledge that everybody was laughing at
me. I was walked around the hall until
IL seemed TO me I had gone thousand
miles. my head was swimming, and !
imagined was again in Chicago having
fun on Mr.. Ferris's wheel. | repeated the
ritual OF the leader until | would have
taken an oath almost that l was one or
Old Man Edisons patent Photographs,
and learned. or rather practiced
enough signs and gestures 10 equip me
in bang-up shape for a flrst-class actor.
was required 70 make more promises
than I did on my weddng-day, and the
law and gospel that was laid down
to me knocked out IN one round my wife's
preaching when / get I'm little late at
night. Despite these little surprises and
Inconvenience, there Is something very
pleasant about Joining an order, and II
had twenty lives l would put them all
In orders. and every last one of them
in Just as many as l could get In.
The graceful and pleasant manner In
which some people can get out Of awk-
ward and embarrassing situations is as
refreshing as the work OF sprinkling-carts
or a small boy with a hydrant
and a hose What could have been a
happier solution OF the perplexing situa-
ton than that Of Or. LAndrum's at the
Grace-Street church celebration a week
or two ago? ! have always been an eX-
travagant admirer of the distinguished
pastor OF the Second church. but the in
cident referred to clearly proves that
the popular minister is thoroughly ap-
preciative OF the humorous and is equal
10 any emergency. My friend. Haddon
Watkins was down on the programme
for a solo. but. being hoarse. the sweet
singer could not appear and got Frank
Cunningham. the old faxorite, TO take
his place. DIR. Landrum had not been
posted" and. as the choir gallery was
behind him, he could not see who was
there After announcing that Mr. Wat
kins would sing he took his seat, and
Captain Frank In his own inimitable
way, sang "Only Remember" There was
a ripple OF amusement In the church, and
Dr. Landrum flushed up little. but
when the singer had finished the Doctor
was himself again. Arising, he said II
declare, every time ! hear Haddon Wat
kins IL seems TO me he sings sweeter
then ever before. Why. one would have
thought q moment ago that Frank Cum
nineham himself was singing. Really.
Richmond should feel proud OF two such
vocalists" II Is needless to say that
DIR. Landrum was the hero. Mrs. A. G.
Harding. Of Manchester. who has possi-
bly, assisted In more charitable enter |
tainments than any other lady on earth, !
found herself last week in an awful di- |
lemms. but she extricated herself from
the embarrassing meshes in most
unique and graceful way. Penelope"
a pretty little opera, was sung by anna
tours for the Meade Memorial church. |
The night of the entertainment Miss |
Lilly May Baird was go hoarse she could |
not sing. or course. Mrs. Harding was |
dreadfully worried, but was not TO be !
outdone. The opera was sung, Miss Baird |
went through her part splenddly.
every gesture was given. every motion |
Of the mouth was made Just as though |
she were singing; but In reality Miss |
Emma Lawton was doing the warbling |
from behind the scenes. Miss Lawton |
is one of the prettiest singers in Man |
chester, and after the opera several peo- /
pie were heard to ask, Didn't Miss Baird |
sing beautifully tonight"
DO not fear very much harm from the |
trolley cars, and feel reasonably safe In /
crossing the street when the big express |
wagons and other vehicles are laundering |
along. and. really. | do not mind the |
smaller turnouts and people on horse
back 10 any great extent. but L have |
a mortal dread OF the up-to-date bicy-
clist These male and female fellows, |
with their silent steeds and fog-horn |
whistles, are just a tribe too fast for me.
Maybe. this is because / haven't been |
from the country very long but all the |
same, If | want to cross the street I'll |
get a policeman 70 take me over. Some
times the riders get their legs or arms |
broken or their noses scratched. but this |
is a small matter. Speaking about bicy- !