The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1895-03-21
MR.. CHUGWATER'S SURPRISE
Midwinter Nights Experience tn
Seemed to Him Unreasonable.

| IS a commodious downtown structure
built with an eye to comfort. we'll
lighted and thoroughly heated.
For the proper understanding of the
causes that led to the domestic tragedy
he reader to grasp the idea that tie
heating arrangements of the Chugwa-
ter mansion are especially complete.
1t will enable him to understand why,
IN spite of the vigilance of Mrs. Chug-
water and the eXertions of Bridget, the
faithful kitchen lady, there still re.
manned in the house, in spite of the
latencss of the season, a spIall but per
sistent colony of flies. These pestifer-
Gus insects kept themselves out Of
reach of the broom and fly brush, re
fused to be cajoled or driven out Of
doors, and continued to take an active
interest in the affairs of the family
regardless of the state of the weather
and the lateness of the season. They
were no ordinary flies. They were
stayers.
On a certain fateful evening some
weeks ago Mrs Chugwater, driven tc
desperation, went to a drug store and
laid the case before the intelligent
clerk.
She emerged from the store shortly
atterward with package which she
carried with unusual care
After the evening meal, when every.
body else had left the dining room, she
unfolded that package.
She spread upon the dining table an
imposing array of traps designed to
catch the early rising or rather the
early descending fly next morning and
make an end of him; and with smile
of triumph which Mr.. Chugwater could
not have understood had he noticed it,
she joined the family in the sitting
room.
The night wore on. The Pickering
glare of the street lamps outside family
outlined the dim, shadowy forms of
belated pedestrians hurrying home
ward through the fierce tempest In
dismal howls the voice of the storm
king rose and fell as if rehearsing a
midnight mass for the year that was
soon to lay its weary bones in the
neglected graveyard of the past, and
the unresponsive earth decked itself in
a mantle of spotless white, as if mock
ingly displaying its boundless wealth
of material for the swaddling clothes
of the new year soon to be born.
The inmates of the Chugwater man
sion, undisturbed by the fury of the
warning elements outside, slept in
peace, and silence reigned within its
walls, save that from the apartment
occupied by Mr.. Chugwater there came
at irregular intervals jarring sound
like the note of distant foghorn. 1t
signified that Mr.. Chugwater was all
right He always slept that way. And
the night continued to wear on.
:; y
1t must have been nearly an hour
past midnight when Mr. Chugwater
became entangled in an unusually com
plicated and obstinate snore that re-
fused to go either backward or for
ward. He awolle with a jerk and
found he was thirsty.
Climbing olt of bed, he CROPPED his
way down stairs and out toward the
kitchen, with a dimly defined idea of
getting something to drink.
Let us not inquire too closely what
he expected to drink. 1t is perhaps
none of our business. 1t may have
been milk.
AS he entered the dining room he
stumbled over a chair that unluckily
stood in the way. He lunged forward.
striking one of the leaves of the dining
table and upsetting that piece of furni-
ture. II fell toward him, and as he put
out his hands to save himself they came
in contact with something horribly
Shiny and sticky. The impetus of his
forward movement carried him down
with the table, and he rolled over on
something that stuck to his face.
In his struggles to free himself the
sticky thing wrapped itself all about
his face and head. His hands, equally
smeared ard swathed, became more
tangled and helpless at every wild
surge he made. and with mufl1ed veil
he rose to his feet. He was standing
on something moist, sticky and terri
BILE that seemed to trip him when he
moved. In vain he tried to pull off the
beastly wrappings that enveloped his
head. There seemed to be nothing he
could get hold of, and his hands had
lost their power to grasp anything
"Blank-dash the dad-dinged luck!"
came with stiHed roar from what
seemed to be the upper section of Mr..
Chugwater's anatomy. What the
blanlnation is this business, anyhow!
Who the Sam Hill has been smearing
molasses and porous plasters all over
the blamed house? Mfr Ch'f. Bl'l
SIX. DIX! Gr'sh."
With convu.sive energy he clawed at
the wrapping that covered his mouth.
He succeeded in making an opening,
and his voice rang through the house
with force and volume simply appal-
ling.
Bring light, somebody he yelled.
Murder. Thieves! Fire. Call the po-
lice! Good heavens, can't you hurry?
Get move on you. For the blessed
angels sake, be quick
The terrified members of the family
came trooping into the dining room
The gas was hurriedly lighted, and
there stood Mr.. Chugwater in his night
clothes, covered from head to foot with