Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1895-03-23
the most sensible.
@a+ - A Mefher's influence.

1a.+ - A Mether's influence.
A charming society woman once told me
that her success in her trying social posi-
ton was all owing to her mothers gentle
tuition at the time when her character was
forming and her mind in it's most receptive
state for retaining Impressions.
We were very poor" she said, land my
mother, being a good seamstress, made our
hving-by doing fine hand sewing. She was
lady in every sense Of the word, and did
not forget her early rearir :, even when her
fortunes were at their lowest ebb All day
long she bent over her sewing. and play
ed about the room, my few playthings all
being of home manufacture-we could af-
ford no Others My chief delight was in
mother. y.trained dress-for Of course,
all great ladies wore trained gowns,
thought-was my mothers big Bingham
apron tied on behind. She made me pair
OF mtts of white pique such as she used
to wear when she was child, and told me
that lady always wore gloves when she
went on the street. She taught me to keep
my shoes we'll vanished, as lady never
wore rusty shoes, and as lady never wore
soiled clothes or ragged ones either, was
particularly careful of mine, and was ex-
tremely happy when I found that could
sew up tear In my apron or rent in my
little frock quite to my mothers satIsfac-
ton.
Mother taught me how to enter a room
accept favor: indeed, before I was six
years old think 1 had quite mastered
every rule Of The Young Ladies' Guide to
Good Behavior and had learned a great
deal about books, for my mother got at
last to talk to me as though 1 was a real
grown up I was a restless child, ard
noisy one and in self defense my mother
had to devise some means of keeping me
employed. OF course, she could not stop
her work, but her method of amusing me
was instructive to me. and helped to divert
her own mind When was ten years old
my mother died, and the next six years
were very hard ones for me- I had to work
for my own living. and could not go to
school, but the taste for books that my
mother had fostered in me, and the little
that she had been able to impart to me,
as she stitched away, was my salvation.
l am sure that her admonitioas about what
lady should or should not do. given as
much to keep me quiet as with any thought
OF their after effect. perhaps, held me in
check very often, and her gentle counsel
and talks about the world and the people
who made 1t happy place to live in made
me ambitious to be one of the prime movers
in 1t. read and studied by myself, every
moment could get away from my work.
and when fortune at last turned smiling
lace on me was quite ready to take the
place in the world and in society that was
really my right by birth.
Eject of Nagging.
IF my mother had been like SO many
mothers, Of the opinion that children should
be suppressed. kept ignorantly quiet or in
the background; or II she had turned me
loose to play on the streets, or to seek
companions Of my own choosing, sixteen
z Of the best years Of my life would have
been a blank. I have tried to teach my
children as my mother taught me. When I
must deny them anything, tell them why,
so that they may not think am unreason-
able, and try to keep them employed. or
else interest and amuse Them so that their
meddlesome fingers will not be put where
the nurse or myself must be constantly say
Ing don't to them. Admonitions of that
kind are no more to children, after awhile
than laws that haye no penalty attached,
and, besides. I believe that a constant
nagging OF that kind is absolutely injurious
to child or man. have known children
who were actually nagged into being per-
feet little terrorS."
There! That is the word wanted. Don't
rag! 1t is worse to the temper than a per-
be great deal better to actually bruise the
flesh of your child in passionate punish
ment than to keep its temper black and
blue with an everlasting humping of
"don'ts." that finally callous it into utter
indifference. II 1t must be denied thing
reasonable excuse for the denial, and then
provide it with employment of some kind,
either amusement or work, and 1t will soon
forget its denial. But If you want to make
small anarchist out of it, just say don't"
and give because as a reason, as it flies
from one forbidden thing to another, tin
both OF you are worn out, and you, being
the biggest and most powerful, spank 1t and
call 1t possessed. Anarchy grows fat on
that kind Of treatment and a child an
archist is the most difficult Of all malcon-
tents to deal with.