davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26
Tho stage Paid BETTER thnn tho Army

Tho Stage Paid Better than tho Army
Mario, tho born tenor, was the son of
an ltNlinn count, ana lie himself was
formerly known as Mario, Comic oil.
Camilla, but Italian noblcmen are not
always rich, and Mario's father found
oil hin resources exhausted when he
had bought his son commission In tho
army. Expensive tastes soon com,
PEELED the young conto to seek some bet,
ter means of gratifying them than tho
salary OF lieutenant, and Mario went
on the stage In 1887, to remain thcro un.
I'll 1867. when hls voice gave way ana
he retired. IIc had lived like n prince
spending money for every within, and
TO crafty not only tho cnpriccs OF him.
self but also those OF his wife, tho al.
most equally renowned Grlsl.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26
A sINEcuRr ron THE COOK.

Mr.. Newedd-"Whatl No cook
stove in the house9 gave you money
to buy one"
Mrs. Newedd-"Yes, my love, but
l found hadn't enough to buy stove
and hire cook, too, SO let the stove
so. But the cook is here, and she's q
treasure. She has just gone out to
get us somo crackers and cheese
New York Weekly.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26
If misery loves company. We will all
1T least have one thing we love In ha,I


What little spark can do is ILLUSTRATED by
tho burning down Of Chicago, and tho modern
apparatus for putting out great 6ros. The
spark too enters tho human family With dc.
vastating offects; honco we hear OF 50 many
deaths by accidents with IRE omonq careIcs9,
cooks and children. This Is 6nother field OF
operation-but o bottle OF ST. Jacobs Oil Is
the apparatus to put the ilro out OF the sys-
tenn. Used according to direction II Will
soothe, heal, cure and leave no ugly scar be-
hind Tho healing process gives now surface
md kindly does its WORK
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26
A aovERNADng Proxy.

Jinks-"F From what you told mo of
your mother-in-law, should think
you'd have heard enough from hor in
person, without having carod to in
duce her to talk into your phono
graph"
Filkins-"Oh, you can't imagine tho
pleasure it gives me to start tho ma
chine going, and then shut it off right
in tho midst of sentencel"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26
POOR MAN.

"Been to The concert, chi What
did you see?"
~ saw large black hat, with five
ostrich feathers, rhinestone buckle
and two magenta roses. And once
there the strong mans voice trem-
bled), once, for one moment, thought
I saw half of sofa at the extreme left
OF the stage; but ! cannot be sure. -
Life.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26
THE TRAMp's TERROR.

"why don't you look for work9"s
"I'm afraid"
"Afraidl What aro you afraid OFF,"
"I'm afraid I'll find it. "-Lifo.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26
CALCULATIONS.

Parker-'I met Lyon, the English
author, the other night. He is writ
ing book on this country, and he
seems anxious to get information from
everybody"
Barker Eyes; he figures TINT tho
people he asks for information will
read his book to soc if tho information
is in it."
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26
HIS DREADFUL THREAT.

Mildred-I wouldn't have accepted
him if he had not made such per-
fectly dreadful threat"
Blanche--"What did hc threaten to
do? Commit suicids?"
Mildred "Worse than thatl He
threatened to marry some one else."
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26
pErTER 1Err uNsLm.

A lady had been looking for n friend
for long time without success.
Finally she came upon her in IN un-
expected place.
WELL" she exclaimed, "I've been
on perfect wild goose chase all dny
long; bgt, thank goodness, I've found
you Mt last?
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26
Timely Caution.

Clerk (of Western hotel)-I thought
1t best to caution that old fellow who
Just came In about blowing out the gus.
roprlctor-Where's lie from7
Clcrk-From tho Greater New York.
-Iife
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26

DR.. Kllmcr's SwAMp-Roor cures
oil Kidney and Bladder troubles.
Pamphlet and consultation FREQ.
Laboratory Binghampton, NY.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26
IIenIth Is Eeonoln

men who are" under tho weather." and do it
better. A box ol Rirans Tabules In tho oillce
will save clcrk-hirc. ~
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26
THE BEST QUALITY.

Mrs. Nowriob->.'I don't caro- about
this ten. The next buy shall be tho
five-o'clock tea of which read SO much
in ladies' papers. Judy.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26

Jingu Kogo is the legendary En-.
press of Japan who is said to have
conquered Corea many centuries ago.
The present Empress is named Haru
Ko.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26

Mira. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for children
tcething, softons tho gums, reduces inflnlna-
lion, nllnys pain, cures wind collie. 70 q. u bottle
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26
A SUM IN nELAr1oNsIrIp.

Your brother9 I did not know
that you had brother"
cob, yes; or, what is tho same
thing, I have two half brothers. -.
Life.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26
A LOFTY STAND.

Hecker-"Wha do you think ofthc
high moral ground Smith takesp"
Deokor-tIt's bluff. PUCK.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26
on THE Ratio.

Benvolio Wherefore dost thon
hoist thino umbrella upon SO effulgcnt
u dnY as this 2"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26
HAD NONE TO GIVE.

Cholly Chumpleigh-" Yes, Miss
Coldeal, Theosophy is subject to
which 1 hnve not been able to give
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26
WHICH HURTS WORSE {

"Going to fashionable dentists,
eyes, to get my tooth pulled.
Where are you going?"
"Going to fashionable PHYSICIANS
to got my leg pulled. Life.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26

Some OF tho Paris compAnles refuse to In
suro persons who dyo their hair.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
Tho Flattcst-A Lofty Stand-The
Tramp's Terror-The Best Quail
ity-Exponsive-y Which Hurts
Worse? ETC., Etc.

We SEQ all kinds OF books
Those TINT are stupid and gay
But tho --LATEST ono NO find ls
Is tho pocket book OF to-day.
-Intcr-O Ocean.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26
EXCITEMENT IN BOSTON.

Friend "This must be bargain day /
l never saw such q crowd in your store
before"
Dry-Goods Mani should say it
is bargain day. Wo aro selling Ho.
mcr's Iliad, in the original Greek, at
ninety eight cents Puck.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26

"What harm was there in that?"
"Why, I had accepted him only the
night before"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26

Miss Coldeal-"[ can readily UNDER
stand that; MIR. Chumpieigh. "--Life.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26

AT tho present day ton OF diamonds would
DO worth S35, 900, 0OO
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26
TOO MUCH FOR HER.

"why did you quarrel with
Jack?"
Flora-'Last night he proposed
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26
LATENT ENERGY.

Parker--'1s there any lifo Mt all in
your oflico-boy?"
Barkcr--''Any lilo? Hos only rostee
ing for squirt. Wait ten minutes
and you'll SEQ him close tho Office. -
Puck.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26
Bcst orAn

10 cleanse the system in a gentle and truly
beneficial manncr,when the sprlngtime comes
use tfo true and perfect remedy. Syrup of Fiss.
ONO Dottlo will answer for all the family and
costs only 90 cents; the largo size 81. Tryit
ana 20 pleased. Manufactured by tho Califor.
MIA Fig Syrup Co. only. ''i'f-
millionaire Storm WIS peddler.
II afflicted with sore eyes use DIR. Isaac Thomn
SON Eye-watcr. Druggists soil nj 25c pcr bottiS
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26
EXPENSIVE.

Old Million2"What, marry him ?
Why. he can't buy the clothes you
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26

Malvolio-"To keep yon sun from
filching the color from this, my two
dollar derby. Puck.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26

Miss Million-'WelI, papa, every
body can't DO amillionairo. Detroit
FREQ Press.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26

England uses 100000 paunds Of tea daily.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26
Blood Will Tell

Most surely upon tho condition of tho ply
steal system. If tho blood is .puro and full
of vitality 1t Will carry health to oil tho or
gans of tho body; it will oxpol tho germs of
disease and tho result will DO n condition of
perfect health. If it is Impure and i'm
povcrlshcd, such n condition will be i'm
possible, Tho best way to
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26
Keep the Blood Pure

Is by tho use Of Hoods Sarsaparilla, be-
cause Hoods sarsaparilla is tho best blood
purifier that medical science has over pro-
duced. This Is tho sccrct OF its wonderful
cures of scrofula, salt rhoum, nervousness,
sleepleajncss, rheumatism, and all other dis
eases which originate in tho blood. Take
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1895-04-26
Hoods issssaaii'' Cures

person. I can do my own work now and
help others. L would advise all those who
aro in poor health to try Hoods Snrsnpa-
rilla." Mns. EL,nRA @. CANNELL, North
Loods, Maine.
The National tribune., 1895-11-28

that wasn't his name. Poor fellow He
afterward died on the glacs of Vicksburg on
the memorable May 90 bravely fighting for
ms country and the flag. Johns bedfellows
and disease had kept him awake to a very
late hour, and he had ust fallen into his first
sound sleep when the battle began. Waking
up IN the midst of the racket he was so badly
scared that he decided to leave, and didn't
stand on the order Of his going but left at
once. In his precipitate fight he forgot the
bank OF the river 10 or IL feet in perpendicu-
lar hight, with talus at the bottom six or
eight feet wide of the softest, deepest stick
lest mud in creation.
When we heard the cry for help from the
rear some of us proceeded TO ascertain the
difficulty. At the bottom of the bank we
found John sticking in the mud ND to his
waist, struggling Intellectually to get out.
We procured some driftwood and poles, con-
strncted platform, and pried him out.
Not much slumber visited our eyes that
awful night. When morning dawned.
slowly and cautiously reconnaissance crept
ont TO ascertain, if we could, the damage
we had done to the enemy. We found the
canebrake and trees pretty badly wounded.
generally at hight of eight to - feet above
the ground. AT last, nearly opposite the
PcS'eiNA' Va ihS WIN HTeu The nTSb
shot, we found the corpse of long, laDk.
sandy-haired native of Arkansas, cold and
stiff In death. AS we gathered around the
body, strange to say, our thoughts were not
OF pity that one had been suddenly cut off
in the prime and flush of youth, but the
question that agitated our souls was how on
earth we could manage to supply a whole
regiment with fresh meat from the carcass
of one poor hog.
Thus ended the battle of Wood Lake
Landing. 1t was our own battle. No
other regiment was in it, We were selfish
about it, When we arrived at the front we
didn't tell the other regiments. But to this
day If you want to illuminate the wrinkled
face OF veteran of that regiment, just men
ton the name of that battle.
Vicksburg had been captured, the battles
around Chattanooga fought, the Atlanta
campaign finished, the march to the sea and
through the Carolinas completed, the re-
view at Washington held, the war was over
and we were at Louisville. KY, awaiting
muster-out. Our old, tattered, blood
stained flags, with shattered and spliced
stalls, had been sent to the Capital of our
State to adorn its arsenal. New flags had
been procured, and on the white stripes of
The National tribune., 1895-11-28

eioseOf the late war the highest pension paid to
an enlisted man was So per month. This
continues to be the highest for nearly 10
years, then it was raised to Sl4, and after
several years was again raised to SIS, and
again after several years intervening il was by
degrees raised TOTS present rate.
For years after the close Of the war a COM
mon farm hand received $40 to $50 per month
and board. A man who lost an arm, after
years of service at Sl3 per month, was forced
to support himself, and possibly family on
s. per month. This is wrong.
The remedy is to have Congress pass bill
authorizing the payment at the present rate
from date Of discharge, deducting the money
already paid This can be advanced by in
ducing the various State Legislatures to pass
a joint resolution requesting their Representa-
tlves IN Congress to work for such bill In
this way great wrong can be righted. Much
could be said in favor Of this.--H f. Stout
ENBURG, Co. E, 10th n. Y, Delhi, N. Y.
The National tribune., 1895-11-28

Old Glory were inscribed in golden letters
the battles in which we had been engaged,
and every stripe was full from end to end
Some of the officers, including the Colonel,
were about the flag admiriug it as it stood
in place on the color-line. A private of the
regiment with that air of respectful famili-
arity which comes Of mutual confidence be-
tween officers and men and from tolls and
dangers shared in common, approached, and,
taking a corner of the flag spread it ont and
read the names inscribed thereon. Having
finished, he turned TO the battle-scarred
Colonel, whose face plainly showed the
pardonable pride with which his heart was
swelling, and drawled: Colonel, there's
one battle you haven't got on here"
Wha-whats that; what battle is that?"
anxiously inquired the Colonel, stepping
forward to examine the flag. The private,
beginning stragetical retreat, answered:
1.-THE battle of Wood Lake Landing" In
stanGy the retreat was changed into flight,
whereby he barely escaped a savage attack
in his rear from the toe of the ColonePs
boot. C. X, Washington, Mo.
The National tribune., 1895-11-28
Fac-Simile Free.

A copy Of the New York Herald of April Is,
1865. Full and authentic account of the sssss-
sination and death of Abraham Lincoln, with
portrait; JEFF Davis at Dsnville; Grant and Lee
in Richmond, etc. Details of the surrender.
Sherman and his army moving, etc. Sent to
all subscribers of this paper absolutely free.
Your name postal card is all we require.
As a souvenir worth much. Write at once.
Sent all postage prepaid.-L. A. MCLEAN, SO
Pemberton Square, Boston, Mass.
The National tribune., 1895-11-28

OAA ASA1h Ol.b AbSlh KHAN MUSK
vigorous than pious We then and there de-
cided that the war would last good while
longer than we had expected. If the Gov
eminent, as il appeared, was under the con-
troll Of a lot Of sapheads who couldn't see the
absolute necessity Of giving us the best
arms going, il couldn't be expected that
wisdom would guide the councils of the
Nation in the prosecution Of the war.
But what could we do? When we passed
Cairo hadn't we left Gods country" the
land Of the free and the home OF the brave ~?
Wasn't Kentucky on one side of us and Mis-
sour on the otherg And were we not, there
fore, IN the heart of the enemy's country?
But let us return 10 the Austrian muskets
j hope my readers will pardon me for de-
tanning them " so long in the porch.D as The
good Bunyon hath it, but the memory Of
those Austrian muskets fingers with me like
the recollection of the time in each mans
life when he mustered up courage to ask the
ideal OF his heart the privilege of seeing her
home from church-and got the mitten. The
cartridges were examined with good deal
Of interest. They were the first we had ever
seen. The cartridge consisted of an oblong
package OF powder with large leaden ball
and three bUckshOt tied TO one end of il.
We all, with perhaps few exceptions, knew
chat The proper way TO load frearm was to
The National tribune., 1895-11-28

put the powder in first and the missile next,
but il became a matter of very serious dis
cusson whether it was necessary to tear a
hole in the paper of the cartridge and pour
the powder into the barrel of the musket, or
whether we put the cartridge In without
tearing it. One of the advocates of the lat
ter theory. in trying to demonstrate with a
match and a cartridge that the explosion of
the nercusson cap was sufficient to pene-
trate the paper and ignite the powder, burnt
his eyebrows of. This nearly settled the
controversy until an advocate of the tearing
theory found amongst the complicated mill
tary evolutions of loading musket as laid
down in Hardee's Tactics the command of
"Tear cartridge!" This was deemed con-
elusive, but at the same time it was ad-
mitied that if an officer in the heat of action
should accidentally omit that command mill
tary discipline would require the soldier to
ram cartridge without tearing it; in which
event a whole company might be put hors
du combat at most critical period of the en-
gagement, unless the cartridge was so con-
structed as to go off without hole being
made IN its cuticle.
Then. the noise those muskets made! To
hear the explosion of one of them without
seeing il one would think a howitzer had
been discharged. When our regiment was
in action we never knew that we hurt many
of the enemy; but we had every reason to
believe that we scared them badly. / have
no doubt that they thought that the artil-
lery of an army corps had been concentrated
within the space OF regimental front; that
every gun had o full complement of men,
and that each man was serving his gun at
keen Jump 1t can readily be seen that we
might have been very useful and have won
good share of glory and renown as a kind
of scarecrow had it not been for another
of our Austrian muskets.
The National tribune., 1895-11-28
Good News for As.hmotics.

We observe that the Kola plant, found on the
Congo River, West Africa, is now in reach of
sufferers from Asthma AS before announced,
this new discovery is positive cure for Asthma.
by addressinga postal card to the Kola Import
ing Co., 1164 Broadway, New York, who are
sending out large trial cases free, by mail, to
sufferers.
The National tribune., 1895-11-28
One Armed Pensioners.

EDITOR NATIONAL TRIBUNE: Expecting
some pension legislation by our next Con-
gress, would it not be we'll to advocate
through your paper, certain lines to be fol-
lowed in each class, so that those interested
can work together? Take, for instance, the
class who lost limbs in the service. At the
The National tribune., 1895-11-28
A Red Flag is symbol of danger the

world over, but nature has different code
of warnings. Skin eruptions general weak
ness and other symptoms speak as plainly as
does the red flag. They tell of blood i'm
purity. DIR. Peters Blood Vitalizer, the
long-lived root-and-herb remedy, will cleanse
the entire system. Not druggists, but only
retail Vitalizer agents can sell it; or write
DIR. Peter Fabrney, Chicago, Ill.
The National tribune., 1895-11-28
a Punster Comrade.

FL. j. McGivern, Light Battery B, 4th u.
). Art, Wheeling, w. Va, sends a commu-
nication in which he sets forth the reasons
why it took the North four years to subdue
the South, by some clever plays upon the
names of the various Generals on either
The National tribune., 1895-11-28
From Now Until Spring

Overcoats and Winter wraps will be in fashion.
They can be discarded, temporarily, while
travelling in the steam heated trains of the
Chicago. Milwaukee & st. Paul Railway. For
solid comfort, for speed, and for safety, no other
line can compare with this great railway of the
West
The National tribune., 1895-11-28
Better than a Pension.

Y Apleasant and profitable business.
d 1t pays better than a pension. 1t
\ is something that almost any COM
rade can manage successfully. 1t
is war exhibition, and the sale of
9 actual war photographs. 1t is
y splendid entertainment, and de-
Z lights any audience; everybody
I likes it-men, women, and chill
] dren. Not imaginary war scenes,
but real war photographs taken at
the front during the great war
Thousands of genuine war scenes.
We give our agents sole right to
all the territory they can handle.
Come and visit US, and see an ex-
hibition, and we will give you full
! information on all the points of the
business. If you cannot come and [
see us, write for Catalogue and in
vestigate the matter. You will
! only need a little money to start !
the business you cannot find any :
other business that will pay you as !
well, and that you will like as well, 3
as you will this. We give the first !
preference to comrades, but In g
case any territory is not applied
for by a comrade we will assign it e
to son of veteran, or member
of the Woman's Relief Corps, or =
any other reliable person. b
The War Photograph and Exhibition Company, !
No. II Linden Place, HARTFORD, CONN.
The National tribune., 1895-11-28
THEIR RECORDS
Brief Sketches of the Services OF
Various Commands.

fTHE NATIONAL TRIBUNE has IN hand several
hundred requests for regimenta histories. All such
requests will be scceded TO in due time although
those now received cannot be published for at
least year. owing to lack of space. Numerous
sketches have already been published. and OF these
none can be found room for n second time until all
have been printed.I
The National tribune., 1895-11-28
Massachusetts Soldiers Home.

| THE NATIONAL TRIBUNE has received the
| 18th Annual Report of the Trustees of the
| Massachusetts Soldiers Home, at Chelsea
| Mass. This is very concise, business-like
| publication, and quite interesting. Past
| Commander-in-Chief j. G.. b, Adams is Presi.
dent George s. E. S. Converse, Vice-Presi
dent George S. Evans, Secretary; Thomas f.
Barker, Treasurer, and George W. Creasey
Superintendent. We extract the following
| statistics:
Number in Home June so. 1895. ......... 25S
Average present during the year ............ 234
Average present and absent during the
29t
Greatest number i'm the Home during the
year. Jan. 20 and II, 1895 .................. 34t
Smallest number in the Home during the
year. July and d, 1894 22C
Total number admitted since the Home
was opened, July 25. 1882 500
Total number cared for since the Home
Number sick in hospital June 30, 1885,. IS
Total unfit for duty June so, 1895 ia
Average age of membership June 80 1896. 5S.77
Average age of those admitted during the
year 5S. 40
Number of deaths during the year .......... 80
Average age ut death 50 IS
Death rate in 1000 of whole number cared
for SO 90
Total number of deaths since the Home
was opened. al
The oldest man in the Home June 80, 1895,
is 81 years of age.
The youngest man in the Home June so,
1895, is AZ years of age.
The receipts for the past year have been
from the following sources: The annual ap-
preparation by the State, $4,000 from the
United States Government, $25, O52. so; d0na-
tions from the Woman's Relief Corps, $164. "a; ;
Individual donations, $402. so; bequest, $3.50;
pensions for men in the Home, So, 3i2. 81;
interest account, S2,13465; from other
sources, 81, 097.96.
The National tribune., 1895-11-28
The 11Sth Ohio


The regiment was organized at Cincinnati
and Camp Mansfield, o., from Sept. - to
Nov Z, 1862, to serve three years, and
was mustered out June "a, 1865. Col.
Samuel r. Mott resigned Feb. 10, 1854
Lieut-Col. Edgar Sewers was in command
of the regiment when it was mustered out.
At Messy Creek, Tenn, Dec. %, 1868, the
command lost five men killed and 81
wounded. At Resaea, Ga, while in Judah's
Division, Twenty-third Corps, it lost IL
killed, SO wounded and 10 missing. The
command also served in HascGlls Division
Twenty third Corps The total loss was one
officer and So men killed and one officer and
127 men died.