davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
A Mean Man.

II wonder" said young Harlem
lady. ''why Hymen is always repre-
scented as carrying torch"
To which her bachelor uncle sneer-
ingly responded: ITO indicate that he
always makes it warm for people who
marry."-N. Y. Journal.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
LIES LESSON.
with What madness, untold sadnssa


With What madness, untold ssdneSA
Spin We the tangled threads Of lifSe
With what worry, undue hurry,
And such eagerness for strife,
Do We 60 reeltpg, devoid Of feeling,
Save for self, and solf alone,
Through al the day, in LIES pathway,
4 noble hope unknown.
Tread We fonrless. blind ana fearless,
On many IN aching heart:
While 1t lies bleeding We, unheedtng,
Race on rs swift as ct the start,
Knowing never, II, or ever.
The thing wo seek to clasp
Shall finally, in security,
Rest In our Eager grasp
And then, at last, when life Is past,
And We hear the breakers roar
On the great sea Of eternity.
AZ they dash upon it, shore
Too late We learn our chief concern
Were something else save trying
10 pluck tho flower, born Of the hour,
That fades while We are dying
Chicago Inter Ocean
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
Plaln anfl a,rn.nnanta]

At first the drinker' DRINKS are '.platn."
But should he fre hnently renew them
with WHISKY, beer hnd vile champagne,
Z He'll add dcliriui = trimmin's to them.
IL "A w. Bulletin
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
In the Interest Of Economy.

Neighbor-Mr. Gayboy is going to
the ATLANTA exposition, is he? Won't
it:cost him great deal Of money?
Mrs. Gayboy- lot very much. l am
going with him. Chicago Tribune.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24

that will meet every requirement of a
more expensive structure just suited
to the needs of the farmers wife. It
can be built at cost of $40 to $50,
easily.
The size depends upon the number of
fowls kept; for say 80 hens, make it 80
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
A Possible Reason.

DO you know, Jay, asked Miss Daisy
Medders, significantly, shat. there are
a great many more single men than
married men in the prisons? And do
you know what that proves?"
'Mebby it proves" answered jay
Green. automatically, ''that they'd
rather go to'prison than get married"
Puck @
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
From the Remnant counter.

!" It Is painful SO self possessed to be,
Was the elderly maiden's mournful pleA,
1" When for many years. ] am free to say,
Ihsve yearned to give myself away"
bay City (Mich. Chat
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
Against All Precedent,

1T pains me to report" said the
chairman of the investigating com.
mittee, ''that we have been grievously
betrayed, grossly deceived"
"How?" asked several members in
unison.
II have just learned" explained the
chairman, regretfully, ''that there are
some members of this committee who
really wish to investigate. Chicago
Evening Post.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
Covering q Gr.ver Crime.

Mrs. Outertown-That Mr.. Subbubs
shows more consideration for his neigh
bors than any man ever saw.
Mr.. Outertown (astounded9Con
erationl Good heavensi Do you call it
consideration to wheel q lawn mower
up and down his grass plot every morn
Ing at six o'clock?
Mrs. Outertown-Yes; but he does it
50 the neighbors will not hear his
daughter practicing her singing lessons
Puck.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
WASHINGTON, d. O.

Say, pop, what does the letters D.
G. mean, dat dey always puts after
Washington?"
''Dey means daddy of his country,
yo' fool chile, yo'. Why doan' yo' read
yo' hist'ry?"-Judge.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24

by 20 by feet. This will be found
ample, and if properly lined with tar
paper inside it will be snug and warm
and be just the place for your winter
hens In the second figure is shown
the interior, with nests and roosts.-
John w. Caughey, in Country Gentle
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
Hit Explanation.

doctor, how much flesh can one lose
In day under your treatment?"
'That depeilds-I have one patient
who lost thirty-five pounds yesterday. :"
"Graciousl"
"Fact-I cut his leg ofh Chicago
Record.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
HELPING His Friend.

Bagley-You might help fellow, If
you wanted to- I'd like to have Ger
trude find out all about my good points
from an outsider
Bailey-1'm helping you, Bagley.
Why, it is only yesterday that did my
best to convince her that you were no
fooli-p1cL
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
Woman. Woman, Lovely Woman

Esmerelda Longcofin Il saw you
kiss Miss Elderly yesterday when you
met her on the street. thought you
and she we're at daggers' points. I
know she talked shamefully about you.
Birdie McHenepin-I know it, too,
but she has grown so old and ugly that
have forgiven her everything.-Texas
Siftinps.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
Learning His, Ground.

Tho man that never y3t has tried
The silent steed OF st BEL to ride
Should never say ''hetknows his groundf
But when he falls and rolls around,
The bruising that he gets reveals
Not only no " It, looks but feels
- IN Racor6Ap
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
Filling It IN.

Clara Winterbloom-Ther is only
enough to about half fill this trunk.
What shall do, fill it with papers9
Mrs. @Winterbloom-No. Let your
father pack it.-Bay City Chat.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
Couldn't Have Understood.

Eyes, had a long conversation with
Miss Beaconhill, of Boston, but don't
think she understood half said.
"What makes you think that2"
"Well, she didn't have her spectacles
on."-Judge.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
A Henpecked Hero.

"A hero Of hundred battlesi''
She cried. admiring him through her tears
Indeed, am" he murmured, sadly.
"For I've been married twenty years.
Cincinnati En0Nffep
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
His Failure.

Indignant Employer = Only three
days ago you assured me, that you had
found clew that would lead to a
speedy solution of the whole mystery
and now you come here to tell me that
the clew was an illusion and to ask for
more expense money. They call you
the ''lynx-eyed sleuth," I believe? Bah,
you are fraudl
Detective-No, sir, I have merely
dropped one Of my links, that's an.-N.
Y. World.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
A Big Regular Army.

A Big Regular Army.
The mightiest host of this sort Is the army
of invalids whose bowels, ivers and stom-
Stomach Bitters. A regular habit of body
is brought about through using the Bitters,
not by violently agitating and gripping the
intestines, but by reinforcing their energy
and causing flow Of the bile into its proper
tendency to inactivity 81 the kdneys a are
conquered by the Bitters.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24

TEACHER-"Are there any exceptions to
the rule that heat expands and cold con-
leaves lot bigger twenty-pound chunk
since it got colder."-Indianapoli Journal.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
How he Made Bells HinR.

Recently, 1T one of our large hotels,
while party were holding an areu-
ment on the subject of spiritualism.
ono young fellow expressed his belief
that there was something in it, ~ he
himself was sort OF medium"
''How mediumY' inquired one OF
tho speakers.
why" replied the wag, 81 can do .
good many mysterious things, for In
stance, I can make bell ring without
touching it."
The other offered to wager that he
couldn't. The wag persisted, and said
that he would lay him Eve pounds he
could make at least a dozen Of the bells
In the passage ring within two min
utes, without leaving his seat
''Donep' exclaimed the sceptic, and
the money was staked.
The young fellow turned round on
his seat, opened closet door, and
turned of the gas from the upper part
Of the building In less than one min
ute half the bells in the passage began
TO ring violently, the persons above
having suddenly lost their lightsL
And SO, of course, the money was
fairly won. -Tit.BitA
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
.Er.n Wit.

Nothing b ut leaves, !" said Eve with
attwinkle If her eve, when Adam COM
flimented hkr upon her new garment.
Boston Tfs tnscript.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
A FINE PHYSICIAN.

"Visit your master? But I'm told
that he's very bad pay"
II don't deny that, but his heirs.
want you to treat him-they will pay
you promptly for your services
Monde Corniuue. ..,.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
Not His Fault.
-. vo- hova haon -

10ne8-1Ou nave Deen az my W1ne
again?
Sambo No, sab; you does me an In
justice. De cork wouldn't come out.
Texas Siftings.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
Ho Knew Him,

Charlie is very foolish fellow; he's
always borrowing trouble. !"
Eyes, and I'll bet he never pays II
back. That's just like Charlie. ~"
Judge.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
GauAntrya

Miss East lat an Okiahoma ba1i)-
Pardon me for treading on your toe,
sir.
AlkaB Ike {gallantlkENot a-toll,
moml Not a-toll, ! ASSUME youl Parding
me 8oy lhavin' = toe, Puck.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24

'THERE's one good thing about the melan.
choly days Of autumn,' said Sneersby.
"What is thats" ''When man gets plain,
ordinary cold he can't go about calling it
hay fever ,n-Washington Star
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
Her Reason.

Mr.. Younghubbe-Dont you think,
my dear, that you cook twice as much
rs we need?
Mrs. Younghubbe (artlessly)-1 did it
on purpose, darling; want to try some
of those "Hints for Housekeepers-
How to make dainty dishes from what
was left over from Observation-Disclosures
Sun.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
Important Appearances.

Essie-My dolly is better dressed
than yours.
Ethel don't care to have my dolly
90 very finely dressed; it makes me ap
pear like a nurse.-Judge.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
Bis Reason Why.

Miss Singleton-It seems romantic
that Count Hunterup should always
propose at food tide.
Miss Sageby-Not at all; that is the
tide that leads to fortune, you know
N. Y. Recorder.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24

ARTIST thought you said you were
FrenchW Model no; said fused to
be in French laundry. ''-Sydney Bulletin.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
Highest Of iii IN Isatenns povet-Iate u S Gov Report
R&!a!!! RB skasgz
ABSOLUTELY PURE
ABSOLUTELY PURE

AN amusing printers error occurred in Q
recent issue Of The London Times. In an
nouncing the marriage of young city man
Sheerness, few words of telegram
which apparently belonged to some
note from China or from Armenia We're
printed after the interesting intelligence.
They read as follows: .Trouble is ex-
uacta6 -
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24

How Ny THROAT HURTS Why don't you
use Hale's Honey OF Horehound and Tart
Pixies Toothache Drops Cure in one minute.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24

"You never told me Miss Fairgirl was an
throWn me over aEDetroit Free Press se Aa'
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
.Gcnuino.

Hairdresser Yes; I pride. myself o.
the fact that all the false hair = sell i
thoroughly genuine. N. :. Jonrnsl
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
Thsy Feared

'sWhV Ao.syou suppose the hings Of
old warerththed in purplep" 60
$50 III at they nEsght b, insyiolet, !
guesse'. Il Y. Recorder. 4.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24

BEEcHAM's PILLS for constipation 1Oc and
S5c Get the book 9free} aty9 cur od1 DRUGGISTS
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
Naturli.

Mrs. Gossippy-And you don't object
to the feminine bicycle costume, pro-
fessOr?
Prof. Flower-Not at all It is the
course of nature after the "buds"
come the "bloQners. IN. 7. Journal.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24

CAN recommend Piso's Cure for Con.
sumption"to sufferers from Asthma.-E. D.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
WINTER HEN HOUSE.

Particularly Suited to the Needs of the
Farmers Wife.
The simplicity of the house illus
trated commends it to anyone keeping
few hens near his dwelling. It is a
plain yet neatly-constructed building,
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
Wanted Truly Feminine.

Miss Chatterly-I wonder why Jack
Manley Is SO devoted to the old ladies
of late?
Grafton-I suppose It's because
they're not new women.-N. Y. World.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24

A QUESTION in geography-Are the Scot
fish lochs fitted with Quays9- Boston
TRANSCRIPT,
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
hoe MIDI nxnt Farene

Il call my girl lAdelina Patti'
What for?''
She says bobby so>many times q
the front door. Chicago Record.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
Tho Teachipes of Adve,rsity

The Bitter Ome-I tell you man
changes his mind about his friends and
enemies.
"How so, old man?"
Ibis enemies stop hitting him when
he's down, but it's then that his friends
begin.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
Como Astr0y.

Former Resident-Well. everything
In the old town seems the same. But
what became of the Widow Smiths
boys? They always seemed such bright
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24

"A Radical Cure. John +. Martin,
clerk in the second division, newspaper
department, general post Office. writes:
''The other day you prescribed rem.
edy for sleep walking Now will you
bo good enough to prescribe ono for
that annoying creature who disturba
ones repose, to wit, the fellow that
talks in his sleep9' Certainly. Keep
him AWAKEN. Y. Press.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
JUVENILE GENEROSITY.


give yer orangelt Wot for9''
:" Cos that one I bought last we.sk
was bad 'un.' ~
where is ftp"
II gave it to my s. kter. Sketch.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24

-Mentesquieu wittily observes, that,
by building protested mad houses. men
tacitly insinuste that all who arc out
of their senses are to be found only in
those places. -Warton.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24

Hope is like the sun. which, as We
journey toward II, casts the shadow,
Of our burden behind us,-a Smiles.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24
To Make Rarleta

Many housekeepers who are envious
Of the attractive ''raglets" and pretxels,
fancy figures and names on frosting
and similar devices in cookery might
make them all for themselves 40 well
% pay confectioner's prices for them If
they but owned q pastry bag. This 10
nothing but little metal pipe, which
any good kitchen furnishing stere sslls
for = few cents This il put into .
homemade bag Of white drilling; the
bag is made Of square fold to give .
triangular shape, tho edges then being
stitched together, leaving the wide
end open. The pipe is slipped into the
opposite corner and the batter for
making the raglets, etc, 10 put in the
bag and forced out of the pipe by
twisting the bag, just as one sques1ss
paint out OF one Of the collapsihle
tubes. The icing or whatever il put
into the bag comes out in . little
stream, and SO slowly one can write .
name with it oromake any shape de-
sired for batter dishes fried in figures,
etc. -St Louis Republic
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-24

A PUBLIC compliment never Offsets pri.
vate growl. .z-z5
The St. Johns herald., 1895-08-29
Published every Thursday
SUBSCRIPTION RATES.
WE hail with delight the knowl

WE hail with delight the knowl- edge of Winslows prosperity, ru- mors reach St. Johns from time to time, of the impetus in all branches of business. now being manifested in Navajo's fairest city, and we glory in it. The citizens of that town de- serve the entire credit, as their eff forts have always been expended for the general good, business en- terprise and capital rarely seeks a location unsolicited. It must be sought, and induced to come. and Winslow's citizens are never found shirking at such time, for unani- mity of purpose and public spirit edness; commend us to such peo- pie. That the school bonds will carry at the coming election, there can hardly be any question, the town has grown beyond and away from the old house, the time has passed when it was sufficient, then Winslow was a small railroad sta ton, but now, it ranks az one of the large town on the line of the A, & P. railroad, and still growing, and with its broad streets and beautiful modern cattages, The present school house is ill assorted and a hide0us blot on the otherwise fair exterior Winslow is modern town laid out and built up on modern plans, in- habited by 18th century people and they want school building that will be an ornament and lasting pride, and whats more to the point, they'll get itl
The St. Johns herald., 1895-08-29

sociation is rent. He must have a shelter for himself and his family
 As a renter, he has rent bills as
 vochers, but they are not an asset.
 His monthly payments, on the con- trary, as a member of such an asso
 citation, on the advance made him, cancel every time portion of the principal, and are, therefore, a solid asset. When his stock reaches ma turity (s1O0 per share) the advance is repaid and the house is his. If he desires to buy house on the old plan of so much cash down and the remainder in the usual annual in stallments. with interest, it might be hard for him to get enough to- gether to make the cash payment; :; but, assuming he has it in hand, he must certainly provide, in some way, a sinking fund to meet the de- ferred payments as they mature and If the money IS lodged in bank he would hardly get more than 4 per cent. per aEnum on 1t for the average time 1t was so lodged. But his sinking fund lodged with The Columbia Building and Loan As sociation (fifty cents per share pel month) is earning very much more than that rate. and these earnings tend to continually reduce he c,.,t to him of the advance made him. Should death oyerlake him before
The St. Johns herald., 1895-08-29
SEWER CONTRACT.

Bids will be received by the Board of Supervisors of Apache county, and will be opened at the regular meeting of the Board of Supervisors, Oct. 7th, 1895, for the construction of drain from the Jail Sewer tOa point TYPO feet from the jail north. TT drain to be constructed of either lumber 2 inch planks) or earth- en pipe, and bids will be received for either or both. The length of drain 172O feet, width of drain inside 8x8 inches, depth of drain under ground, for the first 70 feet from Jail, an average depth of feet for distance of so rods, from this point an average depth of 11a feet, and for distance of 20 rods from this point an average depth of 2 feet. At the end of the point 70 feet from the jail, Man Hoe will be required.
 For al further information apply to the Clerk of the Board.
 The successful bidder will be required to complete the drain in 30 days from notice of the acceptance of hIs bid. 2 The Board reserves the right to reject any or all bids. s.,.,-ess.s-g...
 Chairman.
The St. Johns herald., 1895-08-29

Mark Twain, the greatest Am"ri- can humorist, at the age of 60 year. goes out into the world to battle for riches, not for his own comfort but to pay debts contracted by the publishing firm of which he was a member, bereft of his fortune, old and infirm, without any appeal for sympathy. He bravely faces the world in aiecturel;our covering 4year to secure means to pay the debts of firm of which he was a mem Der, accumulated on the faith of my name by those who had a pre- sumptive right to use it," as he tersely put the condition.
The St. Johns herald., 1895-08-29
TOOK HIS OWN MEDICINE. Will c. Barnes Gets a Taste of the Enforcement of
 Rigid Laws.

Will c. Barns, member of the as-
 sembly from Apache county in the
 Eighteenth, was father of the bill
 that compels shippers to unload, | feed and water stock while in tran
 sit on the railway, allowing only
 twenty eight hours to intervene be- tween drinks. On Saturday last he started from Holbrook with a lot..of cattle for this valley. Upon reach ing Ash Fork he missed the regular freight. Not daunted he struck Superintendent Healey for special permission to be pulled through by the passenger train. His request would have been granted had not MT. Healey about this time re- ceived a message from the'train dis patcher stating that Barnes cattle could not reach Phenix within the prescribed twenty-eight hours. He was compelled to unload and al- though there are no stock yards at Ash Fork and 1t is necessary to haul water to quench the thirst of the cattle. In doing this some time was consumed and the cattle went forty hours before they got feed and water. Barnes demonstrated but Superintendent Healey reminded him that the law was drafted in Barnes own hand writing and he was glad to be able to administer to him the first dose of the law. Mir. Barnes will now try to get to the next leg islature and have the law extended so as to enable his own cattle and those of his neIgbors to ride thirty six hours without feed Gazette.
 Oh, ye mighty solons of the '' Eighteenth p how your callow eff forts at law making works out your own undoings, like unto the boom erang.
The St. Johns herald., 1895-08-29
Punishment for Prosperity.
N. Y, World


 It appears from unmistakable threats in the Tribune, that wool and iron manufacturers who pre- sume to prosper under.any but q Mckinley tariff, are to be severely dealt with as soon as the Republi- cans can get at them.
 After reciting the fact of their increasing prosperity and consa- quent satisfaction, it says that "if they indulge the notion that they can perpetuate the special advan- tages which the most infamous tariff in American history may have given them in comparison with other American producers they will learn their mistake"
 And thIs is what the Tribune calls dealing with monopoly" The crime which wool manufacturers and iron manufacturer have com mitted is in rresuming to become more prosperous than the Tribune is willing to allow before a Repub- caa President is elected and the Tariff law changed. Hence it thraet- ems loudly that if the price of iron does not d. op, five do not quit ship ping iron to England andtJapan, il wages is not at once cut in all the iron mills, if general gloom and de- pression are not at once substituted for cheerful prosperity. there will be a great deal of trouble for all concerned as soon as the Tribune and it's friends get a chance at them
 This is really funny. Or at least it would be if the Tribune were not always sadly serious in it's best jokes