New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1895-08-28
AN INNOCENT PARSON.
HIS ATTEMPT TO DESCRIBE A RAM
FIGHT IN RING VERNACULAR.


Caught On-The Preacher Didn't Full,
Succeed In Appearing Unsophisticatetl
The Little RAMS Ring Tactics.
A preacher told this story at wed
ding supper on the South Side the othe,
evening:
l was riding along a country roat
near Bloomington" he said, swhen
noticed group of sheep in pasture
There was large open space in the
of the flock, and at either end O:
the space stood a ram. In the center
but standing little at one side, was
third ram. The two rams had evidently
had falling out about something, OF
else they had come to settle in friend
~ contest which was the better ram
Ram No. 8 seemed to be acting as
judge, umpire-what do you call it
Referee? Yes, that's it, the third ran
was the referee. I don't know under
what rules the meeting took place. L
may have been Queensberry or Rosebery.
You see I am not up to these technical.
matters.
'When all the preliminaries had beer
arranged and both contestants had beer
cautioned apparently that there was tx
be no 'fouling'-I think I h2~t seer
that word in the newspapers occasional
ly, and therefore I suppose it is a cor.
rect word to use in this connection
each backed off to the farthest limits OF
the circle, which, by the way, was not
a squared circle. The referee stepped
out of the way, and the rams dashed to.
ward each other. When their heads
came together, there was terrific crash.
and the force of the conclusion threw
them as far apart as the length of this
table,"
All the guests looked the full length
OF the table from the passion flowers al
one end to the brides cake in the f;;1
perspective, and then at the preacher il
the middle distance, but nobody sal,
anything.
''Then,' continued the preacher
"they took their places, apparently none
the worse for the encounter. Again, evi
IDENTIFY at a preconcerted signal from the
referee, they dashed together This time
the shock was even more terrific thar
the first, and I noticed that as one OF
them went back to his-ah, what dc
they call it, corner?-he was little un-
steady on his legs.
"Groggy'' ventured the bride.
ho1inuo that ic tho +o,.,,,
replied the preacher, "although, as ]
have intimated, am not at all familiar
with sporting phraseology. When time
was called for the third round-ahem-
that is, mean to Say when the rams
had recovered strength for third col
lision - there was another rush, 8
crash, and one Of the rams, the one you
so aptly described as 'groggy' with an
acknowledgment to the bride) fell tC
his knees. His adversary did not seem
inclined to follow up his advantage, but
possibly he may have been restrained by
the rules of the meeting. At any rate
after contemplating his fallen foe grave
~ for a moment he walked back to his
place. The other ram, after resting
briefly, struggled to his feet. The third
ram-the one I have called the referee
looked at him rather inquiringly, as
it seemed to me, but the warrior show
ed no sign Of recognition. He ambled
to his side Of the ring and faced about.
A murmur OF some sort seemed to 20
through the flock. The odds were ap-
parently 3 to l in favor of the other
ram-that is to say, it seemed to be the
general opinion that the ram with the
weak knees had been Outclassed, as the
other one was decidedly the heavier of
the two.
''However, the smaller ram seemed
to have wonderful recuperative powers
When the proper interval had elapsed,
he came up smiling, as it were. I even
thought 1 could see a twinkle in his eye,
for I was quite close to the fence, and
this thing took place only little dis
lance away. AS the referee stepped back
from the center Of the ring, where he
kept his position between the meetings,
the other two rams drove at each other
pellmel At the very instant when
IuclI uiIu uOIuS WOulu nave met, now
ever, the smaller ram suddenly changed
his course to the right, and the other
went through the ranks like catapult.
"Just as he turned about, evidently
boiling ever with indignation at the
trick which had been played on him,
the other one, with the added force given
by longer run from one side of the cir
Gle to point several feet outside of it,
where the larger rams momentum had
carried him, shot at him like cannon
ball, striking him full in the face and
driving him several feet away, where
he lay limp and helpless. The third
ram, who was promptly on the spot, as
I suppose every competent referee should
be, nodded his head several times-in-
deed it looked to me as if he was count
ing-and then the fallen ram failing to
rise the whole flock marched away to-
ward knoll in another part of the
meadow with the victorious ram at the
head. Presently the defeated ram got
on his feet and made his way to a Sc
cluded spot down by little run, where
saw him reclining in the shade of a