The Hartford republican. (Hartford, Ky.) 18??-1926, 1895-04-26
Highest of all Ieavenng Power-Iae U. s. Govt Report
R@!A!!! BRskldRg
ABSOLUTELY PURE

leaf and being very model man and
father. Well, you don't need to say
it. Maria has given it to me on my
bread and butter until I'm as thor.
oughly drilled as a West Point cadet
doing chapel duty. never say any
thing that ought not to say, and l
never forget to say anything that
ought to be said. When l whack, or
smash, or jump my fingers, as will
happen when there's crib to be
shifted around every time the wind
changes, and forty pound bath tub
to be brought in every morning half
full Of water, never lose myself for G.
minute. At the first crack on my fin
ger / suddenly remembered Maria's
instructions and yell "Grog" At the
second put my fingers in my mouth
dance little and softly calculate un-
der my breath, "Grab itI' By and
by when a real calamity happens like
the one that occurred the night l was
called up at 2 o'clock to bring the wood
stove up out of the parlor into Maria's
bedroom, jump up and down, call
ing as loudly as please, "Gal fetch it
pell NELL Gal fetch it pell mellp
"You said looked a little tired,
didn't your Well, it isn't from be-
ing up nights, because L IN in training
for just that sort ofthing. can drop
off to sleep in the day time to make
up for nights, and can take a nap
between the beefstake and the griddle
cakes at breakfast, and again when
the girl is finding my clothes brush in
the morning. Yesterday l snoozed
Of as l walked home from my train,
and had to be walked up at my own
front door by the hired man, whom
had told to be on duty at the front
gate to stop me. and to~day I'm plan
ming a nap while / sign my checks.
It's all matter of habit, these maps,
Maria says, and she shows me pair
of baby shoes she made while she
was asleep. They say that sou and
heir is apt for the first few weeks to
come between a man and wife, absorb
the mothers whole attention, keep
her from her husbands society, and
all that sort things. But don't you
believe it. That's all nonsense--or
at least, it is in our family. I'll tell
you what mean. Last night got
home rather late, and after dinner l
sat down in the library to read the
misrepresentation seen the papers
all day.
"In a minute the upstairs girl came
down after me. Mrs. Marsh wants
ter see yer, PLACE, sir, said she, in
the bedroom
al went up stairs and found Maria
in Mysteries. My dear girl, / ex-
claimed, what is the natter What
is the matter? What can be the trou-
bier
oh, Augustus, she sobbed, 4
knew it would be so after baby came.
OH OH OH Augustusl
" But, what? What, my dearH
oh, Augustus shall never have
the pleasure OF your society any more.
You'll go in the library and stay
forever
:" But, my darlipg-'
"Well, to make long story short,
I didn't go down stairs again, but sat
in the upstairs room and read aloud
an article on infant regurgigation in
a medical journal. You see from that
that my baby is not going to come
between my wife aud me. But here
l am near my corner. No, | can't
meet you at lunch to-day. Fact is,
I've got little pamphlet to read
promised Maria I'd look it over at
lunch-about the remuneration of the
pin, but never mind; don't despair,
old friend-better luck next ii ne we
meet-after I'm better posted on
things. S'longp" Aud. with one
hand holding tight the little book in
his pocket, the domesticated Marsh
stepped off at his place OF business
[Exchange