The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1895-07-06

oP'iiioiis about the way 1t should be
celebrated.
THE PRESIDENTIAL FIREWORKS
Mr.. Cleveland will probably lay in an
extensive stock of frecrackers. torno-
Toes. pinWheels, chasers. Roman candies.
,reek fire, skyrockets. bombs and Ian
.nese lanterns. 1t will make n fine pict-
Ire and set a glowing example to other
american citizens to see Mr.. Cleveland
1alllns a pinwhecl to a tree and then
touching IT off. while Ruth and Esther
stand by IN eXpectant admiration.
h President may scorch his fingers
ina burn holes in his clothes and per-
1aps set fire to his home, but all these
are permissible on the Fourth, and
should ne sustain some more serious
mishap 1t might boom along his alleged
thlrd-term aspirations, as a father in
lured while amusing his children on the
fourth OF July always arouses emotions
Of admiration. especially in the ladies.
CHAUNCEf'S GREAT SURPRISE.
Ihe people of Peekskill always regard
NJ. Dcpcw as their particular
property on the Fourth. Mr.. Depcw. it
IS said. Is planning ii great surprise for
me inhabitants of the peaceful Hudson
niser town., ana on the great day in
tends reading the Declaration of hide
oendence to them without introducing
any jokes of homemade manufacture.
rms departure will not make n differ
snce to he true Peckskillian, who al
ways laughs every time Mr.. Depew opens
his mouth. In this way he Is sure to
enjoy all the witticisms of the great ora
tor, though the laugh may precede the
Joke by a quarter of an hour or more.
Mr.. Depew is quite certain that a true
reading of TIRE Declaration will provoke
great mlrth in Peekskill, provided he
conceals the title of the piece. He has
yet decided pom this important de-
ception.
On previous visits to Peekskin at this
season of the year. Mr.. Depew always
took along with him a rich supply of
fireworks for his son Buster" The
latter within the past year has almost
grown to be as tall as his distinguished
father. and furthermore has dropped
his riotous nickname. so that he could
be reintroduced to the world as
Chauncey NJ. Depew. jr. The young
man has no further use for crackers,
a development which is a sore disap-
pointment to his father. who acltnow-
lelges that he hugely enjoyed firing
them off.
Deep mystery envelops the doings OF
ex-President Harrison at his Indian
apolis home on the Fourth. Base rumor
has said that he Is going to place the
famous old hat On the top Of a rocket
and see If 1t will stand the strain of
flying again to Presidential heights.
From the same source 1t Is learned
that the dent 1t received in 1892 makes
the ex-Presldent fear that it may not
hold together when his opponents be-
gin to wrestle with it.
ROAR OF THE TIGER.
The poor, old, crushed Tammany
tiger of New-York has gathered its
mangled remains together, and has
seized upon the Fourth as an oppor-
tunity to let out q few roars as a signal
TO The world that e liz, can
liVthg. The tiger has always made
niuch of the Fourth, with Long
Ialks' and Short Talks" by eminent
democratic statesmen, who are always
sure OF boisierous welcome when speak
ing to the Tammany braves. That the
tiger sun lives will be shown in u most
emphatic fashion. the beliefs of the re-
ormer to the the contrary, notwith-
slaASang.
Thomas Collier Plat. the gentleman
VINO expects to mould the opinion of
the next Republican National Conven-
tion. so that it will nominate the man
ne favors, Will not allow the Fourth
He will indulge in some fireworks at
Manhattan Beach. but they won't be
the conventional kind. With a few
choice companions he may explode a
bomb whose mission will be the wreck
or the Harrison army. or lay a powder
my ~ DIoW UP mayor Strong, the ac-
credited New-York agent of the Nc
kinley boom. Platt's fireworks will
all be of the destructive kind, and
while not pretty from a spectacular
standpoint, they are apt to be more last
Ing than the average Fourth of july
kind.
WILL LOSE HIMSELF.
The aforesaid Mayor Strong, as the
chosen disciple of Reform, finds that
wedding out all the evil growths of New
York is a heavier job than he bar
gained for, particularly as his distri-
button OF political pap has not been
satisfactory to the rank and file of the
reform army. The Mayor will try and
lose himself from the Metropolis on the
Fourth. as his troubles and dyspepsia
could never stand the strain Of the din
ami racket of the city.
It is said that he Will seek a shady
nell In some lost ersay district and cele-
pirate the day by dreaming of the happy
times he Will have when his term OF
Office is over, n he is again a plain.
ordinary citizen with no theught of the
V&ckedneSS or gooGnes of New York.