The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1895-12-05
MAN AND WIFE.
AN ARTICLE INTENDED FOR BENEDICTS
READ.
Advice For Those Who Have Just
Come into the Rights of a Husband
Also For Those Who May Be
Called "Old Stagers" in the natri-
moniaI Harness.

Iendis in Berkley (Va.) Graphic
You now. no doubt, consider your
self the happlest of men, and you have
reason to think yourself so. You have
obtained that for which you have beer
seeking. 1t has been an object Of YOU
pursuit to find someone worthy of you
affections and calculated to increase
your happiness. You have found the
prize and she has left her home, he1
family and friends, to share in YOU
pleasures and sorrows. She has giver
to you her whole heart. On you nov
rests much, most of her happiness. A:
the vine twining around the majestic
oak makes it far more interesting
object, while at the same time it &C
knowledges its superior height and
strength, SO is the love of woman
Meek and coniding, she leans on him
she has chosen for companion. She
looks to him as protector. She ex-
poets from him sympathy. Oh! il
there is aught that is pure and heav-
emily on earth it is sacred unison o
souls, this affection which knows no
desire beyond the happiness Of each
other no wish nor pleasure that both
may not share. But in proportion as
these feelings are ardent, these affec-
tions are pure and holy, SO are they
delicate and sensible to neglect. The
heart that is barren Of fond affections
feels an unkind word, but that which
is full of con6ding love an unkird
word will wound. Bear this, then, con-
stantly in mind; if You wish to keep
the affections Of Eer you have chosen,
show her ever that she has your whole
! heart. True affection can not be
gained for naught. Friendship which
truly deserves the name is not caught
with golden bait, nor lured with one
sunny smile. Glove, and love only is
the loan for love-"
Most young females possess warm
affections and know but little of life
and its realities. They expect when
they marry to be in state of perfect
happiness. They think not of care or
responsibility. They think only of
being with one whom they love above
all others. Shall this fond expectation
be disappointed? Shall these affec-
tions be destroyed? Shall this devoted
heart be crushed with all these bright
hopes clustering thick about it? All,
no! 1t is the duty of the husband
with kind and gentle hand to temper,
rather than with cold hand to chill
them. He must never allow that vul-
gar expression to prove true-"Court-
ship and marriage are very different
things They should not be differ
ent. You may, and you ought to,
show to your wife all those endearing
attentions which first arrested and
fixed on you her affections. Never
let her feel the difference between a
lover and a husband, or rather be as
much lover after marriage as before.
1t is often said that man is an active,
restless being, full of excitement and
pleased with all that is new. But if
he is this he is also a social and do
mestic being. You are actively en-
gagged in business, and while you are
so, are contented. You mix much in
society, enter into public affairs Of in
terest, and Join with others in the
familiar discussion on the topics of the
day. But are you satisfied with thesee
Will these, and these alone, make you
happy? They cannot. When the
day, with its hustle and cares is over,
you return to your quiet freside. And
then you desire to meet one on whom
much of your happiness depends. Do
you wish your step to give her pleas
ure? Would you have her welcome
you with smile and receive from her
kind words? Do the same by her. You
wish your family we'll arrangeds Are
you desirous that prudence, order,
neatness and good taste should make
its several partse Make these cares a
pleasure to her, by being yourself
pleased when you see them we'll per-
formed. She will, if before deficient,
gradually acquire a habit Of attention
and consideration, as indeed they are
eminently her sphere of duty. When
you chose wife you did not probably
think her handsomer than any other,
or more learned than any other.
But you thought she possessed that
union of qualities, that "happy medi-
UNI" which was best calculated to
make You happy. Never fear to let
her be sensible of this. Never let the
fear Of Jokes or smiles prevent your
showing it, in the presence Of Others.
A foolish fondness, an affected polite
ness is indeed almost disgusting as we
sometimes see it displayed by married
people. Aud it is often to my mind
an indication of want rather than
an oyerplus Of affection. But there is
politeness that springs from the heart;
there are attentions which a true in
terest and affection prompt, and these
should never be neglected. Ga, tell
it not in Christendom that your af-
iections are not inviolable. Common
consent and the providence God has
made the husband superior to the
wife. But it is not necessary to assert
this superiority. If done, it tends to
lessen the affection of both, If your
wife has the proper views and feelings
she will show sufficient difference to your
opinion without being reminded of it.
1t is the distinguishing mark ofcivllized
society, it is a peculiar excellence of
! Christianity that woman is made the