Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1895-08-10
A Lone Star State. Representative
Praises Washington Weather.
DESCRIBES TIE HOME TEMPERATURE
The Capital, However,. Suffers
From Sultry Saturday.
MERCURY ON THE JUMP

"Hoti You don't call this hot, do yer?"
The Hon. Sampson Hoptoe looked around
at his friends with an unmistakable ex-
preston of mild establishment. His high
choker collar sat stiffiy under his chin; the
pleated bosom of his shirt shone with
bright laundry luster and the low-cut black
vest was covered with his buttoned broad
cloth coat.
'"rhis yere atmosphere is jest sooburbin,
he continued. Fore 1 lef Texas my son
tole me Washn't'n was torrider n Aspin-
wall when tn sun gifts ter goin' acrost til
line. but tibet boy O. mine, find. is got
some O. his Cousin Tom Ochiltree's strain
in i'm Pears ter me tibet yo' bode er
trade er yo' chamber err commerce, er sum
sech body whut runs things yere, oughter
git up er poplar subscripshun ter advytize
tn attracshuns O. Wash'n'tn ez er sum-
mer resort. Now. ter my way er feelin',
this yere weather Is jest simply salubr' u.s.
Course, man kin git out In tn sun an
git hisse'f hot, but eff he jest goes relong
smooth an cert'n, like er burro goin' over
a bowlder trail, they amt no 'scuse fur
i'm kickin' ergin tn weather.
EFF you all wanter feel Whut hot weather
is" continued Mr.. Hoptoe. you'd oughter
come down along nth me toe Brazoria sum
time. Right thar now tn farmers don't
hev ter use no fab ter cook vittles 18th
Jest go out in tn corn fier an pick roas'-
ero IN in tn gyardin' an git baked per-
| taters outen tn grcun' white an mealy an
busted wide open, jest a-waitin' FUR tn
| butter an tn salt. Termartuses, too, hang
| erOun down thar on tn plants ready
stewed in thare own juice.
Caught a Boiled Catfish.
| 81 member wun day last July went out
a feeshin' in tn Brazos river. Thet time
| err year tn feesh keeps in tn deep holes,
| an a man has ter have err line erbout er
hunnerd yards long. You see, Their water
| down tibet deep amt much hotter'n Balti-
| mo- bo'din house tea. Well, subs, went
| out thar an put on a wum an throwed
her over Ig erbout two minutes ! pulled
deadern er smoked harrin' when 1 gifts i'm
| in. Didn't flop kick er do nawthin
| Them kind er preformince sorter 'sprised
| me, an 1 'xamiLed tibet feesh. Hope
| may never git outen this cheer eff he warn't
| cooked! Yassir, tn water in the river near
| tn top wuz so doggone hot tibet 1t he'd
billed tibet catfeesh whites I wuz a DRAWN
| Of hin. up fun tn deps below"
When the drinks were called every man
| demanded hot scotch and shivered.
How 1t Was In Washington.
Despite the assertions Of the Hon. Samp-
son Hoptoe. however, the day was a
scorcher to people not akin to salamanders
or who were not just arrived from Bra
zoria, Texas; Fort Yuma, Ariz, or other
and unmentionable places. Stiff collars be-
came limp before 10 o'clock, and by noon
could have been used to tie bundles with.
Negliges were formless washrags, and
even the summer girl, who usually retains
her aggravating appearance of GOODNESS I'M
der most adverse atmospheric circum-
stances, gave up the attempt TO look
breezy ana suffered like a hired man.
| In the shopping districts buyers and
clerks alike were listless and wilted, and
those who were out were bound on business
and spurned even the suggestion Of getting
samples. The soda water fountains did al
enormous business up to noon, but after
| that hour the streets were deserted by al
save those whose duties made it imperative
| for them to be out. Anything in the shape
| of change would have been acceptable &c
these unfortunates cyclone would have
| been hailed with delight, AMI even an in
crease in the heat sufficient to absolutely
drive them from work would have beer
| welcome. They were like old Jasper Sun
flower of Podunk county. who one day me
his ueighbor Reuben Jaggs coming along
the road. They hadn't seen each other fol
: fifteen months, because in Podunk county
7 friends lived twenty miles apart and neigh
bors thirty.
Hello. Jasper" said Reuben. "how's tn
poly, Reuben. poly; fiat on her bacl
an shakin'," responded the other dole
fully.
wy, she wuz thatter way wen I SCI
| you befo'! Amt she never got none bet
ter?'
, Mary a Bit" replied Jasper. Then h,
8 whacked his horse and said earnestly: ''
(; do wisht Jane I'D git well er do suthin' "
(; That was the way with the enforced
:. | strugglers with the heat today, they wish
= ed it would get cool do something, ant
. they all swetered and stewed, and SOM
= of them swore.
v Even the weather bureau thermomete
: in it's cool perch on the roof showed ad
, | ditional Feasibility and at l o'clock toda.
= | marked SO, or one degree hotter than a
: | the same time yesterday. The old standb,
f indicators along the streets and thorough
e fares where people live. move, splutter
[. fume get nervous and think about sui
l. eide told the real story of what the hea
e was that humanity was compelled to en-
:. dure
Mercury Records Today.
; Inside the business Office of The Sta
= a thermometer hangs against the wall nea
# the 18th street door. AT o'clock it mark
a. ed SO degrees. At the same time in Harri
l.. & Skaters breezy doorway the mercur
IS stood at 90, or blood heat. The talkativ
ii thermometer at James Y. Davis Son
smiled broadly at being in print.
+ Thought you were funny, didn't YOU
e writing down what 1 said yesterday"
n remarked. WELL it was all true. but
d don't like publicity. No use in swabbin
is your neck and trying to get cool. II
le showing 100 now and Pm going higher
,e Why, 1 struck 1902 degrees at o'cloc
" yesterday and didn't half try
Hagertys showed lob at 1 oclocl
d Ogram's tube was at 90, and at Hende
ID shott's, 18th and F streets, inside the shad
p doorway, 1t was 93h. The sun never ge,
within five feet of this mercury, and tt
breeze from an electric fan blows out tt
door continually. s. Desio's thermomet.
on F street, opposite the Boston Hous
was going up at lis and marked 96. TIE
o ephonic communication with drug stor.
all over the city between 1 and o'cloc
H. showed readings running from 95 to 10
of and still rising. The breeze that BILE
=. steadily aided immensely in the evapor
10 ton and probably prevented many cases
e prOstration.
s.
as NEEDED AT SEA.
ed
DIS Naval Constructors to BE Assigned