New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1895-06-29
THE TALK or THE DAY.

THE Boston Pilot satirically suggests TO sensa-
tlonal clergymen tina, good topic for sermon
would be The Ins and outs OF Baseball
First coming woman-That Mss Hardyhood will
second ditto-How do you make that out?
FIRST coming woman~Why she got Percy willets
in the surf and held him under water tii ne prom
isei TO be her acknowledgements Post.
In one OF the Buffalo public school examinations
the pupils were required write a stanza OF Amer
lea" Some OF the verses submitted were remarks
BILE Here Is OF them:
NY country Ills OF thee
Sweet land OF number three
OF the | stand
Land where my fathers die.
Land OF the pilgrims pie
From every mountain sigh
Let freedom ring
Another pupil started of in this way:
My country It's OF three.
Sweet land OF bert tea
Curious answers given 10 other questions Ia
the examination. For instance: Question-Who y
the Chief Executive OF the Nation? Answer-Ch'e1
Cleveland. QuestionTel all you know about him.
Answer-fIe has two babies. Another question was
What becomes OF the water in Lake ErieT' and to
this one youngster replied: I'VE drink IT,, while
another said. 1T washes out the Hamburg Canal"
Obvious Mistake OF the MISUNDERSTANDING.
The project OF bringing the trolley downtown Will
be opposed by all the undertakers in the city That
can't be right Is that the II is in the copy?
Copyholder-Yes. but know he didn't mean to
write it that way. The undertakers won't oppose the
trolley Change it 10 underwriters and go ahead
Chicago Tribune.
An old-timer In The Lewiston Journal" tells
about a pioneer Maine doctor. Cute old Dr. B.
was. | can tell you. and mighty long-headed, too.
lie didn't say Il great deal. but he was n tremen-
dous worker Them Wing and Democratic
days and the doctor Democrat He run
| everything to suit himself and made the cod chls
| run down the Wings backs in more ways than one.
1t used TO be common saying about him that II he
had Wing for patient any time within three
t.. fnA snaH
too sick to until after the election had gone
| by"
Il feed YOU. didn't II" said the CUES, who had
waited long and patiently for his dinner ,Yessah"
vel you ieed me, Mnat van. his Is n ,re neri
and then murmured; - Sc sorry boss; put Use
80 far as our observation goes says The Watch
man" Episcopal clergymen. take II for all in all.
! the readers This is strange. as the prin-
cpal part of their service in public worship is to
read sentences out OF book The ministers who
have taken lessons in eocuton are also pretty uni
| formly poor readers OF the Scriptures. They de-
claim mouth dramatize the narrative. One
brother went far gesture during his read
ing OF the Bible. That Is very bad The simple
natural interpretative reading OF the Scriptures adds
great charm TO public worship. 1t is difficult art
to acquire. but worth acquiring.
The Surroundings The heroine had the centre OF
the stage.
Ing rapty at the people who could not be happy ?'
i'pon her felicity broke the villain rudely,
"Ha ha" he laughed through his nose. Wait"
she shiyered Win INA, nam sn dread: ..
| get when go on the oad"-(De;roit Tribune.
4 London paper tells a story TO illustrate
| womans tendency TO change her mind young
and weil-dressed woman entered Charng Cross
| telegraph office the other day and wrote out a
| dispatch be sent TO Manchester She read II
| over reflected for moment. and then dropped
| II ON the floor and wrote a second. This she also
| threw away. but satisfied with the third. and
sent II of. The three kilograms read: First
! Never let me hear from you again. Second
mo expects You TO return," Third-"Come
| home. dearesi-a.l Is forgiven
| ranch down In Texas haven't you. COLONEL
Colonel Ahmo-Oh. Just little seven by
nine concern
| Seven by nine what ?!
| Miles. Indianapolis journal.
Just outside the city OF Chcaso 5000 men are
engaged in digging the biz Chicago drainage canal
The local town officials have licensed twenty eight
saloons for their especial ben ,ht on the ground
that the saloon us the only door open to the man
who drops his pick after az days OF the most
arducus tot. under the sun Ii Is said that already
these saloons have been responsible for twelve
murders committed by the men.
The disciples of lzaak Walton living in Bristol
Of piscaioriai experiences The ceracates Of mem.
bershp are as follows:
ANCIENT RECKLESS AND INDEPENDENT
ORDER OF PREvAEICATORs
LIARS LICENSE. 1896
This is to certify
ned liar. and having satisfied zs-zas Fishing Club
hand aSS sea to noa
'"''''''''..''''.........A. d., 1895.
Secretary OF zzis-Zag Fishing club.