The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1895-01-26
Govt \


-Teacher-'.Now. boys. 80
were to find something pet
age would you attribute TO -
Boy-"Stone age. Harper
People.
--''Col. Spouter claims that the w
en- supported him during his campaigii.l
IL the men didn't" "Yes; his wife took
i'm washing and his mother plain sew
ing. buffalo Courier.
-"Cholly didn't have much luck with
that Boston girl" ''No; she froze him
with her glances- Then he's In
bad way?" mo; he was thawed out
by an old flame. IN. Y. Sun.
-"How could you endure talking so
long with that ugly old woman with
that frightful costume without laugh
ing i'm her face?' "Oh. that's easy. She
is my wife. "-Fliegende Batter.
--"Have you any idea what the rela-
tions are between Miss Wellof and
young Slimpurse. "Er yes; father
and mother. Both her parents are
opposed 10 him. IL Buffalo Courier.
Had Been Abroad And isn't Lake
Como beautifully" Lake Como? Oh,
yes; | remember IL distinctly now-be-
cause my husband complained so much
that the train was SO slow in passing"
Vogue.
-"Some women can't believe a word
their husbands say" she remarked.
WELL" ccnfided the other, ~ am not
quite SO badly off as that. My husband
talks in his sleep occasionally. -
Washington star.
The Priest "This man Is so tipsy
he can hardly stand. can't marry you
10 him unless he's i'm his normal state"
The Brde--"Faith, thin yen have To
hurry, for it's soberin' mp he is this
minnit Harlem Life.
Henderson Evidently my friends
think I'm smart, whatever you may
say. | know that whenever | say
bright thing they remember it for
months" Fogg-''I should think they
might. - Boston Transcript.
There's no doubt" said Mr..
Dolan, about there bein' wan great
advantage in bein' born in this coun-
try AN phwat's thot?" inquired
Mrs. Dolan, 1T saves yez the proice
nv steamship ticket over. WASH
ington Star.
-Dillaway Talk about your aris-
tocratic descent Why. my father Of
ten had ten thousand men directly un-
der him" Caraway- "Ahl gener-
alp" Dillaway-"Well, not exactly"
Caraway-'A wholesale contractor?"
Dillawav- an neronaut. Tit
Bits.
Lay Oft your overcont, or you
won't feel it when you 90 out, said the
landlord Of Texas hotel 20 n newly
arrived guest That's what / am
afraid OF, = replied stranger; "the last
time | was here | laid off my ovcrcoat
and didn't feel il when | came out,
and / haven't felt it since. Texas
Siftings.
Your account OF the concert last
night" said the musician, omitted all
mention OF the very thing ! wanted To
see printed. The violin ! played, rs |
was careful to tell your reporter, was n
genuine Stradivarius. and one Of the
best ever made That's all right"
said the editor. "When Mr. Stradi-
varius gets his fddles advertised In this
paper, IL will cost him half crown n
line. Good morning, sir!"- Tit-Bits.
Never" She said, haughtily,
"nevcr darken my doors again He
stood before her humbly and would
have spoken, but she silcnced him with
wave Of her bcjeweled hand, and
went on: 81 told you in the first place
that ! wanted them doors painted n
robin's-egg blue, and here you've went
and grained them. ! know what
want aud I'm going TO have IL" Weari-
~ he got out his putty knife and sand
paper and began TO rcctify his error
Buffalo Commercial.