The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1895-11-13
CUPID BARRED OUT.
QUEER MATRIMONIAL LAWS OF
JAPAN.
Etiquette Governing the Relations of
Young Men and Women Before
Marriage-No kissing at
the Wedding Feast.

u
\N! ! to get married in Japan
V Y he does not offer his heart
and hand to the girl he
loves, but, if an arrangement has not
already been made for him by his
parents with the daughter of neigh.
Dor, he goes to discreet and trusted
friend who is already married, and
asks that ne and his wife act as mako
dos," or go-betweens, for him in this
important matter. 1t is the most deli
cate duty one friend can perform for
another it is the highest of compli-
ments to ask it, as it is naturally an
evidence of complete confidence. and
the gentleman and lady who under
take it assume responsibilities that
few people in America would care to
accept. They not only agree to find
a suitable partner for the aspirant for
matrimonial honors, but remain
through life in the relation of gcd-
father and godmother to the young
couple. They are expected to assist
them if they get into difficulty or suffer
misfortune, to promote their pros
perity and happiness in all ways posi-
bic and serve as board of arbitration
to settle disputes that may arise in
the family.
But this responsibility is not dreaded
in Japan as much as would be sup
posed. People are used to it, and
nearly every gentleman and lady of
acknowledged distinction have at least
one, and sometimes several couples
under their care.
As rule in the upper circles OF
society marriages between the sons
and daughters of friendly families are
arranged by the parents when the
children are very young, and boy or
girl often know who they are going to
marry long before they are old enough
to understand the nature of that rela-
tion. But they are not allowed to as
sociate with each other. From in
fancy girls are taught that they are
inferior to their brothers, and must
treat them with respect accordingly.
A boy can call his sister by pet name,
but she cannot show the same famili-
arity toward him. He is "Ani-san,"
which literally means "A1r. Brother"
and his authority cannot be disputed
in their play. Usually the boys of
the family take their meals with their
fathef, andsstheir mother and sisters
wait upon them, accepting what food
is left by the superior beings without
a murmer. In this way the spirit of
obedience to mankind is instilled into
the mind of womanhood. Confucius
taught that children of seven years
should be separated, but Japanese are
little more liberal than the Chinese
IN this respect, and boys and girls play
together until they are ten or twelve
years of age. After that their asso'
citation is forbidden.
Nor is there any opportunity for
boy to become acquainted with the
girls of his fathers set. Therefore
courting is impossible, and the chill
dren of families whose houses may ad-
journ grow up as strangers to cash
other. This rules applies equally to
the nearest relations. There can be no
friendship between young men and
women. 1t is disreputable for a jap
apese young man to marry for love.
There is no such thing as love between
the sexes before marriage, and there
is no word to define such affection in
the Japanese language. When young
man and a young woman love each
other public sentiment places them
very low in the scale OF morals.
The social laws of Japan require
that a man shall marry at the age Of
eighteen or nineteen, and it is dis
Grace for q man or a woman to remain