Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-06-07
The Brakeman at Church.
BY Robt J Burdett

following good thing on The brakeman
at Church.
On the road once more, with Lebanon
fading away IN the distance, the fat pas
senger drumming idly ON the window pane,
the cross passenger fast asleep, and the tall
thin passenger reading Gen. Grant
Tour Around the World, :" aud wondering
why wv | Wooden, II Louis Popular |
Clothier" should be painted above the
doors of A Buddhist Temple At Benares
TO me comes the brakeman and seat
inc himself on the arm Of the seat says:
81 went to church yesterday
Yes" said, with that interested IN
Election that asks for more And what
church did you attend
(Which do you guess he asked
"some union church, hazarded.
NO. he said. Il don't like to run ON
these branch roads very much. ! don
often 20 to church, and when ! do, | want
To run on the main line, where your run Is
regular aud you 90 on schedule time, and
don't have To wait on connections, ! don I
like to run on a branch Good enough
but don't like 1t.
"Episcopal?' guessed.
Limited express. " he said, ali palace
cars and two dollars extra for seat, fast
time. and only stop at the big stations.
Nice line but too exhaustive tor a brake
man. All tram men in uniform, conduc
tors punch and lantern silver plated, and
no train boys allowed Then the passen'
gers are allowed TO talk back to the con
ductor. and 1t makes them too free and
easy. No, | couldn't stand the palace
cars. Rich road though. Don't often
hear Of a receiver being appointed tor that
line. Some mighty NICE people travel on
it, too, -
"Uuiversalst2' | suggested
Broad guage, said the brakeman
docs too much complimentary business.
Everybody travels on a pass. Conductor
dosen't get fare once in nifty miles. Stops
Al all tlag stations, and won run into any
thing but union depot Train orders are
rather vague, though, and the tralnmen
don't get along well with the passengers
No. don 20 to the Universailst, though
know some awfully good men who ruu
ON that road
Presbyterian l asked.
Marrow gauge ehy' SAID the brakeman
"pretty track, straight rs rule; tunnel
rpht through mountain rather than g
around il; splrit-level grade; passengers
: : have to show tneir tickets before they &c
ON the train. Mighty strict road, but The
J cars are little narrow have TO sit one II
, "A seat and no room in the aisle TO dance
Then there Is no stop over tickets allowed
> got to 20 straight through 10 the.statloI
YOU re ticketed tor, or you can't get on "a
: ALL When the car 5 tull no extra coaches
cars are built at the shops to mold just ST
many. and nobody else allowed on. Bu
- YOU don't often near of an accident oi
that road. It's run right up to the rules.
May be you joined the Free Thinkers
| said.
scrub road, said the brakeman, ''dir
road bed and no ballast, no time card an
no train dispatcher. All trains run wild
! and every engineer makes his own time
lust as he pleases Smoke If you want &c
=, KIND of a go.as you please road. To
many side tracks, anu every switch Wiz
open all the Time, with Tue swltchma
sound asleep and the target-iamp dead Oh
8 Get on when you please and oil when 20
want TO- Don't have 10 SHOW your tickets
and the conductor isn't expected 10 q
anything but amuse the passengers. NJ
sir. | was offered pass, but | don't III
, the line | don't like TO travel on roa
that has no terminus Do you know, 81
be asked a diyIson superintendent whe
b., that road run To, and he said he hoped
II die il he knew. asked him If the gener
superintendent could tell me, and he sa
he didn't believe they had general =
n perintendent. and If they had, he didl
IS, know anything more aOont the road TIA
passengers. | asked him who he repOrt'
. to. and he said, Nobody. asked co
ductor who hc got his orders from. al
. he said he didn't take orders from al
living man or dead ghost And wher
asked the engineer VINO he got uis ordC
from, he said he'd like TO see anybo
m. give him orders; he'd run that train to 81
81 himself, or he'd run her in the ditc
45 Now you see, sir, I'm railroad man, a
don't care to run on road that has
time, or makes no connections, runs |
where, and has no superintendent. II m
m be all right, but I've railroaded too 10
to understand it"
. Maybe you went TO the Congregation
i" church, said
popular road, said the brakeman, OF
old road, too; one of the very oldest in t
On country. Good road bed and comforta
81 cars. Well managed road too: direct
90 don't interfere with the superintende
III. and train orders. Roads mighty popul
but it's pretty independent too. y