The Irish standard., 1895-08-03

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knew to say swlilo Is,
tlual. Az wished he had the
power ato destroy al This 'h1Lils
minister and halls from III Winch and
while pretending to the' public to. be ID ID
second Ingersoll, Ill q crawling, sneaking
ii delivering a Fourth Of July oration
here a short time ago he made a bold at
tempt to give vent to his a. az !. A.S doc
trine hut was promptly tod by a amember
I OF the audience, that his statements we're
AN AMERICAN. 4
MORE FREAKS IN E,LEETRICITY.
Electricity dominates invention nova
days AZ steady stream OF new Ideas re-
lating to the mysterious fluid Is pouring
Into the patent office. 7 Yet this branch of
research is only In its infancy. Before
long, IL progress continues at Its pres
ent rate, the work OF the orld will be
mainly done by electrical apparatus.
| Already electricity contributes enur-
nously to the luxury Of the rich. The
household establishment OF Mr.. Gorgius
Midas is fairly run by harnessed light
W1llS Sl ~ Nv CA1k41S5 =
threaded with maze of hidden wires.
the currents are distributed over it, be-
ing controlled by switches and automatic
regulators. a complete electric plant In
the basement furnishes lights and runs
an elevator which has no attendant,
being perfectly controlled by push-b but
tons. s h .a8 st ts4s Ss.5
On waking in the morning Mr. Midas
summons shis valet by a Dush-button
and presently is notified that his bath
is ready. His ablutions are accompanied
by a mild scrub with an electric brush,
which produces a pleasant tingling SEN
sation and Is hea1thful for the skin.
Emerging from the tub, he rubs himself
to a glow with an electric towel, which
Is woven on a loose web of very fine
wires, so as to be perfectly flexible.
Towel and brush are connected with
small storage battery and the current
may be made as gentle as desired. This
also applies to a comb that hangs by
the shaving glass. Nobody has yet In n
vented an electric razor, but that Will
come in time. {. M Z
Mr. Midas uses an electric toothbrush
for the benefit Of his gums, and then,
feeling fit for little exercise he de-
votes FIVE minutes to handling a pair OF
light dumb-bells These also are electrl-
cal, and give a series Of mild shocks to
the person employing them The gentle
man is now ready for his breakfast.
His coffee is drunk out Of a cup of prec-
ious metal, which is readily attached to
little battery beneath the table by.
hooking it on to the end of a fine wire.
In his left hand he holds small cleo
trode that terminates another wire. The
act Of drinking closes the circuit, ana
the liquid conveys the electricity to the
alimentary canal and stomach. This Is
not only excellent for digestion but It
renders more palatable the fluid taken
from the cup. because the electricity
stimulates the organs Of taste.
Having finished breakfast and read
the morning paper, Mr.. Midas takes his
hat and cane and starts downtown for
his office The stick has q massive gold
head and would be prize for q sneak
thief, but it reposes safely in the hall
rack, which has an alarm attachment,
SO as to give instant notice In case g
coat or any ything else on it is removed.
The cane referred to Is itself electrical,
sending pleasant thrills through the
body 81 the user. Mr.. Midas wife, who
is nusically inclined, spends most OF the
morning in playing on q piano which IS
SO contrived that she receives a series or
shocks while nnanipula ting the keys,
thus undergoing treatment for rheu-
matism incidentally to the performance.
Upstairs the children are playing with
dolls that are made to dance by cleo
tricity. s5; 1s
All this might be considered rather far
fetched, were it not that patents have
been taken out for every one OF the de-
vices described. .sfs3ssff
Mr. Midas occasionally has an engage
rnent at his club that keeps him out lafe.
He may decide to have his shoes shlned.
He drops q, nickel into a slot, sits down
in chair and puts mis- feet upon two
supports provided for the purpose. An
electrical motor actuates sthe brushes
first a brush that carries backing sup
piled from a reservoir, and then polish
ing brushes. On his way home several
hours later, the night being dark, Mr.
Midas wishes to know the time. His
watch is provided with a very small elec-
tric-light bulb. In his, other waistcoat
pocket, connected with the watch by a
chain which serves as a conducting wire,
lis little battery. An fnstant's pres
sure upon a charm that Is attached to
the chain closes the circuit, ignites the
lamp and illuminates the dial
When Mr.. Midas reaches home he has
no trouble in finding the keyhole. He
pushes button and an electric light
shines through round hole in the door,
illuminating the keyhole. AS he enters
the house all Is silent. The only noise
he hears as he passes his wife,s room is
that Of the baby's cradle. which is being
rocked by electricity. He retires to rest
and dreams that he is shipwrecked on a
desert island, where ssavages annuse
themselves by tattooing him with very
improper pictures SO that he will never
again be able to appear IN civilized
society. ssl 4. is352. !.
The process is infinitely more painful
than the modern method, by which q
needle actuated by. electricity, jumps
up and down and makes punctures 50
RAPIDLY that a line is described with it
almost as fast as If drawn carefully on