davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1895-11-07
ARE WE TUFT HUNTERS?

C1ssy Fitxxerald Says Americans Are More
Given to Tosdyism Than English People.
"What do the English people think Of
the Duke of Marlborough's marriage with
Miss Vanderbilt?' ~
"They regard it as farce, and give II
the laugh" said Cissy Fitzgerald. 1.-The
American people make a mistake in think
ing that the queens subjects bow the knee
o. Difference to men who happen to wear q
title. Because man wears q lozenge on
his coach and has line in Burke's Peer
age that is no reason why he Is better
than you or l. or any one else.
'That is the way we in England have
OF looking at 1t in these days. The ideas
that the snobbish Anglo-American mani
oos of this country have Of looking OH the
British nobility is belated and old fash
toned and out Of date. You bow down
low to our men of title and what iscalled
family as we used to do hundreds Of years
ago. But we have outgrown it. Still you
censure US for worshiping these sprigs OF
nobility.
"The tuft hunting Americans do the
wopshiping, not the English. l read in
the American papers column after column
devoted to the color of the Duke of Marl-
borough's hatband and the amount OF
chocolate that Miss Consuelo Vanderbilt
consumes with her morning chop. Why,
when it was announced that Marlborough
and Miss Vanderbilt were betrothed, the
London Times (o}d Thunderer) had IL sim
pie, dignified few lines about IL and let it
60 at that.
"The Duke of Marlborough was rather
m insignificant person in London, so far
as publicity went. At the theater or in
any public place he passed almost unno-
ticed. 1 have often seen him from the
stage, as he sat in box at Mr.. Holdings
heads Gaiety or the Princess theater. He
wasn't any greater than any one else, and
we never paid any attention to him. We're
he man of brains, such as Anthony Hope,
the writer, or Sir Frederick Leighton, the
painter, we would become Immediately
impressed with the Importance of the per.
sonage.
''If Sir Frederick Leighton or Anthony
Hope occupied 1. box in an American thea
ter you may imagine that he wouldn It
laonopolize such curiosity and attention as
q sprig of blue blood like Marlborough.
Why the duke pever knew lie was per
son of Importance till he came to America
and read what the newspapers said Of hin
and contemplated with stage fright the
open mouthed crowds that gazed on him.
ut is American dollars, not English
alteration, that is fostering tho encourage.
ment of the artificial class that thoy call
nobility. 1 may be too sewers on English
nobility, and if l am, then Lily prejudice
is due to tho idiotic samples Of English,
Scotch and Irish blue blood that l have
seen tagging after burlesque actresses in
London. '-Interview With C.ssy Fitzgor.
aid in Washington Post.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1895-11-07
The New Tiara.

'fho'return of the tiara seems to de.
note that the style Of Undressing is
ssain i'll the ascendant. This ought tc
be gooi2 news to all except the divinely
tall woman, to whom the loss of an
inch or two by a cciffure dressed low in
the neck was immaterial. To the aver
age woman the Madonna style Of head.
dress was certainly a handicap. It sug.
gested a revival of the archaic scarcely
more in keeping with the ordinary Brit
ish profile than the professed apprecia.
ton of Botticelli is with the ordinary
British character. Pail Mali Budget.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1895-11-07
Loves ProliRality,

A Michigan avenue youth was dilat-
ing to friend upon the charms of his
adored one. His friend was disposed to
distrust somewhat the accuracy of the
young mans vision.
"She is beautiful, you say?'
GAS a star!''
"And rich?''
"Bah! I know not nor care. "
"True, that is a secondary considera-
ton. But is she very wise:"
"Wiser than Solomon!''
Excellent. I suppose she is also of
fine family?"
"Family, my boy? Family? Why,
that girl has a family tree that would
shade Lincoln park !''-Chicago Times
Herald.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1895-11-07
LAST CENTURY HIGHWAYMEN.
When They Went to the Scado1d, Titled
Ladies Wept For Them.

Ladies Wept For Them.
The gentleman of the road was long
the terror of the highway between Ken.
sington and ightsbridge. AS late as
the year 1899 detachment of light
horse was employed to patrol nightly
from Hyde park corner to the former
place. Foot passengers waited until a
party could be made up sufficiently
strong for mutual protection, bell be-
ing rung when start was deemed
prudent. An extract from Lady Cow
per's diary in 1715 speaks volumes:
II was at Kensington, where / in
tended to stay as long as the camp was
in Hyde park, the roads being SO secure
by it that one might come from London
at any time in the night without. dan
ger, which did very often.
The romance which such writer's as
Ainsworth have given to the highway
men is not so highly colored as may be
supposed. During his brief term Of Of
fee he was man of note, the darling
of the fair sex, the hero Of play and
ditty. He danced at Ranelagh and dined
at the clubs with IMMUNITY, and when
at last he became notorious enough to be
worth apprehension he passed in trium-
phal procession from Newgate to Ty-
burn, dressed in the newest fashion.
bowling gracefully to the windows,
where ladies Of position shed real tear.
Of grief, and gayly quaffing farewell
cup with adlniring friends Of his OWE
sex.
The courtly McLean-grocer and gal
ant-made Hyde park his chief scene
of action. Here Oh November night in
1749 he nearly put an end to Horace
Walpole himself That gentieman's
coach was stopped by Mclean and his
accomplice, Plunket, as he was return
ing from Holland House. A pistol, &C.
cidentally going off, grazed the skin I'M
der his eye, and stunned him. "The
ball went through the top Of the chariot,
and if I had sat an inch nearer to the
left side must have gone through my
head But he freely forgave the fasci.
mating scoundrel, when the law at last
Mtervened.
He writes: "My friend Mclean is
St11A tlle ItSillou di1\e iOt L IeitsOu lC
call him my friend? He says if the pis-
toll had shot me he had another for him
self. Can 1 do less than say will be
hanged if he is:?'' He gives all amusing
description of the rush that was made
to see the condemned man in Newgate.
Three thousand people visited him in
his cell OH the first Sunday after the
sentence, so that he tainted twice fro11
the heat. The noble members Of White.
came in body. Lady Caroline Peter
sham and other ladies of title wept over
him and uttered broken words of com
fort. "Some Of the brightest eyes wer,
at this time in tears ''-Atalanta.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1895-11-07
WHY MOTT,


Our memories are shadow viewu
On which the fancy plays. r.
"Tis fancy gives that tender charm
To long departed days. - y
Like modern hnishers, who work
Upon the pictured face, T..
It fills out dim, uncertain lines
With it's own curves OF grace.
It softens what is harsh and hard;
It shadows what is bold; r..
II wipes out times defacing marks.
Each telltale frown and fold.
Then lightens up the doctored scene
With its dim, mystic rays.
And we, enraptured, gaze and cry,
80 dear departed days!"
Now fancy Is servant that,
Though hayward, may be led.
Let's bid it leave the past and work
On passing days instead.
It can make present ills seem light,
The present joys enhance,
And prose is turned to poesy
Where it's soft colors glance.
All things are good, all things are bad
When thus they seem to be,
And life is this or life Is that,
Just as we think or see.
Laura G. Carr in Boston Transcript
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1895-11-07
~ DOCTOR aaga sSEiaallzalsas #
VM. ~ I'D SPECIALIST, .E44s8E 1E1H&1EH
President of and Senior
sNR ST. PAUL MEDICAL #eS$9zEHBHHFHHaI
Wednesday, So"Der1"f at ""t'd"s Hotel
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rheumatism Hdf
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r0ue eendB Dh b
Liver Stomach Heart Throat and Lung diseases kadquast no
GAIARRA, asthma Gote' Or Big Neck F II STEW % % d* mat
Piles a3d RgMs S s$ S $ :SS S e S
All Diseases Of Women ssss yin % % . H = = | IT, r S
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ST. PAUL MEDICAL AND SURGICAL INSTITUTE Merrill Bldg Ssr St. Paul. Mimi
MEDICAL AND SURGICAL INSTITUTE Merrill BLDG, Cor 5 and St Peter Sy Paul. MIMI
"Think you are better man than

"Think you are better man than I
am, do you:"
II should hope so, said the other.
"You're liar!' exclaimed the ter
ror, and made pass at him.
That is where he made the mistake
The gentleman from Bradford let 60
with his right and sent the fellow
sprawling against the iron portion of a
seat, cutting his head 80 that it required
five stitches to sew up ting cash. After
he had recovered somewhat and began
to realize what had happened he said:
II didn't think the dashed thing was
loaded. '-Punxsutawney Spirit.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1895-11-07
II Am Dying, Egypt, Dying"

General Lyle did not write his ia
NOUS poem the night before he died,
though there is superstition that he
did SO. A few years age a friend sent
me copy of Nashville paper of 1853,
containing the complete poem. Apple
toms encyclopedia Of American Biog-
raphy" says it was written in 1857. s
Since the time of Koerner, if not from
an earlier time, it has been customary
to assume that any song written by q
soldier since dead was composed the
evening before he died. So we have
Lytle's II Am Dying, Egypt, Dying
and Williamson's "Stonewal Jackson's
Way the latter wrongly ascribed to q
Major King. 1t is almost wonder that
we haven't had history reconstructed to
allow of General Dix dying in battle
the day after he finished his translation
of "Dies He," but probably we shall
have that yet.-Letter to New York
Sun. t
Got 1t Mixed. %MaE
"When is ship like a woman? When
she is in stays"
"By George" exclaimed Henderson
when he heard this old timer, .'I'll
spring that OIL the boarders tonightl'
and he did. When they had all given it
up, he exclaimed with pride and pleas
ure in his eyes, when it has its corset
on-no; that doesn't sound just right
either. But IN sure it was something
about corsets, and it struck me as pretty
cute when heard it. Boston Tran
.sH a+SEF5.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1895-11-07

Marshal Ney said that the best meal
he ever made was on piece Of half
raw pork. During the Russian campaign
Of 1912 he was passing by campfire
where soldier was roasting part of a
pig he had shot. He offered the marshal
. piece, which the latter thankfully
accepted and devoured on the spot,
with an excellent appetite. I,
Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1895-10-11
4 PATH.

Mayor Hazen s. Pingree of Detroit, it
is feared, has surmounted the column Of
achievements which:he has been rearing
steadily for the past few years with a
pinnacle which is likely to ambulance
the whole majestic pile, and bring it
down with a clatter aid crash to the
earth. A report from the home of the
mayor states that he has started a news.
paper.
There is no question but that Mayor
Pingree has done much good in his ma
tive city. He has brought about a g.
cent street car fare, and is also the in
ventor Of the Pingree potato patch plan,
which has been adopted in a number of
cities. AS a result of this, MI. Pingree
has had a species of potato named after
him, thus placing his name in the mouths
of a great many people, rs it were. In
deed, in the graceful vernacular of the
whole great lake region, a potato is no
longer a potato, at all. It is a "Pingree.'
Why, having mounted along the
craggy precipices of fame to such a dizzy
height.as this, the mayor should choose
to endanger the security of his foothold
by starting a newspaper. is difficult to
say. Had he refrained from so doing he
might have continued to climb steadily
onward and upward, until he had gained
the proud distinction OF having had a
cabbage named after him, in addition to
the potato, of which he is already the
proud godfather. But he appears to
have cast this glittering possibility reck-
lessly to the winds, and plunged into the
whirlpool of journalism, in which he can
achieve little beyond poverty and re-
proach, along with the consciousness of
having done right at great personal ex-
pense.
1t is characteristic of humanity that
it must have put one foot in the quag-
mire before it will see the wisdom of
turning back to the graveled highway.
There is still an opportunity for Mayor
Pingree to retrieve himslf from the
swamp along whose edge he is dallying.
But he must not delay too long. For ere
be wots, the newspaper octopus will
have him inextricably folded in its close
embrace, and he will waste away, grad
ually and surely, and go down to
posterity a broken mau-for nothing
will break him more quickly and with
less apparent effort than a newspaper.
Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1895-10-11

bureau would have robbed it of its prey,
and the pilgrim calf would join with the
aged steer in hooking at the fury Of the
gale. WY.
There are boundless possibilities in
this signal business. With a sufficiently
intelligent class of range cattle, the
blizzard will no longer be the dreaded
destroyer of former years. A captive
balloon, a red lantern and an educated
beef steer, and we have a combination
which is practically u~nbreakable, and a
most magnificent tribute to up.to date
science.
Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1895-10-11

by the exploding Of noisy speeches to
the exclusion of every other kind Of
labor. There were enough speeches
made in the last congress to supply the
demand Tor years to come. What we
need now Is & sprinkling of honest, earn
est and patriotic consideration OF the
welfare of the whole people. Matt RS
are beginning to re-adjust themselves
now, after the upheaval of the past two
years. Congress can aid or hinder this
REIMBURSEMENT, as 1t Wills. It is to be
hoped it will see the wisdom of the
former course.
Congress is the doctor who attends the
diseases of the nation. Ever since che
last n went out of business, it's men,
bers have been diagnosing t~he..troubles
which are now besetting the country.
In fact the country has been diagnosed
to the verge of distraction ana demorall-
cation. Every congressman and senator
has promulgated an individual diagnosis,
and the diagnoses range from yellow
fever to recommendation. If the next
congress will refrain from this super
tuos diagnosing, and agree quickly upon
some simple and effective treatment,
the country will recuperate and come
smilingly to the front again. But it
must be remembered that it is not neces-
sary to amputate all of it's limbs, when
ever there happens to be a slight attack
of industrial collie or financial bilious
ness. If congress will refrain from up
setting the industrial situation every
year or two, these other ills will right
themselves.
1t is to be hoped, therefore, that the
next congress will not see the glaripg
necessity of ..o%vertoppling the entire
economic system which appeared to
dazzle the eyesight of the last one. Let
us have a little good, sound, earnest wis
dom in future congressional deliber-
atoms.
Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1895-10-11
A NEW

That highly esteemed authority on
public morals and venerated expounder
of social culture, Mr.. J. Lawrence Sulli-
van, late of Boston, Mass, has delivered
himself of an opinion relative to the
high-handed and altogether ~inexcusable
slap at the pugilistic world recently de-
livered by Gov. Culberson of Texas.
The remarks of the late lamented idol
of the %prize-ring and knight-errant of
the barroom will fall with crushing force
upon those who have so far forgotten
themselves as to oppose "de profesh,'
and will tend to elevate Mr.. Sullivan to
a still higher plane in the estimation of
his admiring fellow-bruisers. Mr.. Sui
livan says:
What do such n%amby-pamby weaklings
like Mayor McNiSsOn or Gov. Culberson
know about the ethics of pugilism , To
my mind the right scientific use OF ones
fists is the best athletic exercise, as it is
necessary to the cultivation of a noble
mind. Give me a nation of fist fighters
aud | have a nation OF men.
Here we have a plain statement of the
case which must appeal to every student
of social and moral economy, and it is
laid down with all the firmness and i'm.
~moveabllity which ch~aracterizes the lay.
ing ont of Mr.. Sullivan after q night out
The development of a noble mind
through the medium of the fists is a dis.
tinctly novel proposition, but in demon.
stration of the efficacy and all around
i~nfallibility of this mode Of intellectual
Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1895-10-11
OFFICIAL PAPER BURLE|GH co.
LET THE CONFLICT CEASE.

r. CONFLICT CEASE.
The war between the two great tobacco
companies has reached such a stage that
government interference is not only nd
visable, but almost imperative. So bitter
has the feuu become that the price OF
cigarettes has been reduced to twenty
for S cents. These are the approved
brands OF cigarettes, containing every
one OF the deleterious authorizations pop
ulur with the consumers of these ready
made implements of gradual suicide,
and the great reduction in price will
enable cigarette smokers to consume
two to three times the number to which
they have been accustomed at no greater
cost than formerly, thus placing gradual
decline and ultimate death within the
reach of every small boy in the nation.
While it Is a matter of serene indiffer-
ence to the nation to what an extent this
conflict is carried, so long as it is con-
fined to the companies, it is Il crying evil
that the outside world, or part of it at
least, should be dragged into it by this
ominous reduction in the price of manu-
featured cigarettes. The sale of twenty
cigarettes for SO insignificant a sum as 5
cents is a direct blow below the belt of
civilization. It furnishes the cigarette
smoker with material for the creation of
four times the odor and amount of
smoke. at the expenditure of the same
sum. 1t is something in which every
law.abiding citizen is vitality interested,
and any further reduction in the price
Of cigarettes should be the signal for a
general uprising and a forcible protest.
At the old-established price, the cigar
cite was the occasion of as large an
amount of sadness and gloomy misery
as it is within the ability Of non-con.
sumers to endure. ANY one who has
passed a brief five minutes in the vicinity
Of an adult cigarette when in active con-
hagration can attest the truth of this
statement. If, at the reduced prices, the
consumers feel it incumbent upon them
selves to increase their individual con-
sumption III order to avail themselves Of
this undoubted bonanza in low-priced
cigarettes, what is to result? Overtaxed
humanity will prove unequal to the
strain, and widespread insanity will
signify the disastrous effects of the
cigarette war. In the name of civiliza-
ton and of humanity, whose burdens
are already of sufficient weight, let this
cruel conflict cease.
Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1895-10-11
4. WISE PROVISION.

South Dakota does not propose to
have its range interests injured by
severe storms this coming winter. The
observer of the weather bureau at Pierre
proposes to convey to all parts of the
cattle region, simultaneously, warnings
of approaching storms. His plan con-
sists of sending up large kites of differ
ent colors to a height Of 1000 feet or
more, which would make them visible
over a large scope of the range country.
The kites could be sent up at stated
hours during the day and at night
colored lights could, the observer thinks,
be attached. Should the kites prove
impractical colored balloons held captive
by light cables would, 1t is suggested, do
equally we'll.
After this plan has been set fully in
operation, all that is necessary is TO edu-
cate the range cattle up to the proper
standard, in order that they may take
advantage of the warning gwen. The
great natural intelligence of the range
steer will prove of considerable advan-
tage in this case, and it will only require
q few lessons to teach him that when he
sees a captive balloon floating 1000 feet
high, with a dozen red lanterns dangling
from the bottom of it, it is time for him
to hunt his hole. After the storm has
passed, the weather bureau might pro.
vide a supply of doves, each with a sprie
of holly in its beak, and send them out
over the range. This plan would ap.
prise the range animals of the likelihood
of fair weather, and show to them thai
it was safe to venture out again.
1t might, of course, take several seas
ons to bring about a complete under
standing of the warnings and a prope,
appreciation of the code of signals. Blu
in the course of.time, the great advan
tage of the system could not but be ap
parent. Every morning in the white
season, the traveller over the cattle rang
might espy some aged beef steer scar
ming the heavens with his eagle eye II
search Of danger signals. A red balloon
with colored lights would come to b
the signal for q general stampede TO
shelter, and the storm might rage IN
needed. The genius of the weathe
Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1895-10-11
A BITTER RIVALRY,

A bitter rivalry appears to have grown
up between the cities Of Fargo and
Grand Forks. Nor is there any soften
ing of the bitterness as the days go by.
| AS flint and steel are the sister cities of
the Red river, and sparks arise in their
clashing to prove the intensity Of their
rivalrySto the outside world.
1t all appears to grow out of a dispute
as to the relative advantages of the two
towns as divorce markets. Up to a
short time : ago, Fargo reigned undis-
puted. None made so bold as to ques.
ton the excellence Of her facilities for
the granting Of safe, certain and speedy
separations. None questioned the supe-
riority of her accommodations. Grand
Forks at"with n finger in the corner
of her mouth and modify watched the
Red river roll by. The tide upon which
the Divorces hoated invariably washed
up it's charges on the Fargo beach, and
Fargo took 'em in, dried 'em, and allowed
them to bask in the sunshine of renewed
hope, and pleasing prospects of coming
single blessedness.
In the course of time, all sorts ard de-
scriptions of mis6t matches came to
Fargo, for adjustment. Royalty came
to have it's matrimonial mistakes cor
rected, and dukes, duchesses, counts,
countesses, and men and women from all
classes sat on the bank Of the divorce
pool and angled for DEGREES. And all
this time, Fargo rolled it's other eye in
the direction of Grand Forks and
grinned.
Then Grand Forks swore a mighty
oath which startled every microbe IN the
Red river into temporary flight, rolled
up her sleeves, and waded into the di.
vorce exchange. Quotations began to
huctuate, and the stream of Divorces
started up the river.
And the climax Of her efforts has been
reached. For only a day or two ago, a
countess drifted in on the tide. And
ransack the town as she will, Fargo is
unable to produce a countess at this
time. Not long ago, she had countesses
to throw at the birds. But they have
gradually slipped away, and ere it was
realized that the supply of nobility was
running low, the last one had gone, and
Grand Forks bangles her feet in the
placid wavelets of the Red, and smilingly
challenges Fargo to produce a countess,
or consider herself out of the race.
1t is not probable that Fargo will
allow herself to be so easily vanquished.
That indomitable spirit which builded
a new town upon the still smouldering
ashes of the old, will manifest itself in
this time Of trial, and ere long Fargo
will present for inspection some new
divorce to make Grand Forks eyes
open wide in wonder, and her mouth
water in envious contemplation. Let
Grand Forks be not too proud, in this
hour of victory. For pride goeth before
destruction, and a naughty spirit before
a fall.