The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1895-08-16

I am a bicycle.

Not such as, swept along by the full tide
of power, tho conqueror leads to crimson
glory and undying fame, but plain. ordi-
nary-no, not an Ordinary" but safety
bicycle for hire.
True, am In good state of repair and
am as comfortable as my keepers can
make me, but am not decked In ribbons
and purtured In commodious quarters and
ridden only by the aristocracy over smooth
pavements and for short distances.
never even had such luck when first
came from the factory. j thought was
going TO fail into that good fortune, but
man took me on trial-that Is 10 say, no
took mo ON the installment plan and tried
to pay for me, but couldn't, and was
forced to return mo at the end of month,
and then l was only good enough TO go
among tho hirelings, and there have
staid ever since. Goodness me, how long
II seoms since got the first wrench to my
steel ribs and had my frame skinned
against tree box
i was born n combination wheel--that
Is, you can take out my spinal column,
and then can be ridden by lady not In
bloomers, and thank my stars no bloomers
have ever yet enveloped me in thcir folds.
That time the man had mo ON trial, I
think, was my most uncomfortable expert
enoe, for no was green at tho business, and
90 was /, and tho result was that both Of
US got bumps innumerable, and, though
he came out of IL with twisted knee, and
sprained ankle, and IA barked nose, and a
lame arm, and a hurt back, and black
eye, with few other incidental casuali-
ties, i was nothing TO brag OF myself
That's why when no had 20 give me up
they put mo on the hireling list.
n..s n nj kat
something.
A bicycle has n good deal TO learn when
II first leaves the factory.
People who came 20 hire wheels looked
little shy at mo as stood quietly In my
rack and then passed me by, but not for
long My keepers put new coat Of en-
amel on me and otherwise put me In shape,
and thereafter / became quito popular
Riders who had me out for q spin when
they returned would say they didn't know
why IL was, but seemed 20 bo more In
telligcnt than other wheels they had tried
and was not half as liable TO make
sudden swerys and bang into wagon in
the street or into a Ratepost or over q
bank or 10 do any OF the 40 dozen other
things bicycle is likely TO do when the
rider is least expecting 1t.
or course i knew this myself and was
constantly trying TO please, just as any
other public servant Is, for hadn't 1 had
enough Of bang and batter with that in
stallment plan partyf l guess yes, and 1
am sure aproperly regulated bicycle knows
when IL has had enough.
Sometimes, though, I couldn't help be-
ing a little frisky. Oncc I remember an
athletic sort of fellow took me out, and
for six mortal hours he pedaled me all over
In ha m
smooth, aud almost drove every bit of
breath ont of my tires. / submitted be-
cause couldn't well do otherwise, but the
time of my revenge was at hand. He was
pumping me along "a bit Of pleasant coun-
try road where the shade would have been
very grateful 10 me IL he had only run
along slowly, when no caught up with a
pretty girl on an awfully ornamental
wheel.
could hear him laugh with a chuckle
at his luck, and he sailed alongside of her
and began talking OF course he had no
buslnessrto, but bicyclists that way arc
not SO extremely formal, and she talked
back at him, and il wasn't long until he
was entirely absorbed In the girl and was
leaving all tho rest Of the matter To me.
Then pricked up my ears and got ready,
and all ut once, when we came TO a good
place, 1 took header into ditch. The girl
screamed, the man swore, and lay over
OH my side helpless, but happy. He and 1
rode home In passing pie wagon, the girl
disappeared, and IL cost him 81 for repairs.
don't know why IL Is; but, after some
years of experience, am prepared 70 as.
sert that fat woman weighing 200
pounds is just twice as heavy rs fat man
of the same weight. II some scientist will
explain this, he will do oil of us bicycles u
great favor. However, don't care very
much about It, because / made IL con-
venient to dump thefat lady one evening
into a pond Of water, and sho came so near
drowning that she has organized crusade
against the wheel and has bought an inter
est in patent antifat remedy.
But there was another woman-ah, me,
what delight IL was to go flying with
herl She was dainty little creature,
light as fairy and strong as wire, and
she know whcro all the prettiest places
were, and there we went together, and she
drew pictures of sylvan scenes while 1
leaned up against a tree and watched her
by the hour One day a handsome young
follow wheeled by, and they nodded pleas
antly, she blushing bit and he smiling.
Several days after that they came to my
place together, and she took me away with
her for three days That was n delight TO
me, for we went far off by easy stages, and
tho young man on his own wheel-a
beauty 1t was, too--went with us.
There were others in the party, but my
interest was in these two, and paid no
heed to what the others did or where they
went. The third day as we were bowling
homeward my lady appeared to be i'll at
ease, and there were times when, II had
not had all my wits about me, we would
surely have gono off tho road and over the
bank into whatever may have been below
TO have received us. The young man was
never far off, but he was not as no had
been, and after wondering nearly all day
what could have happened / remembered