Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1895-04-26
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND 90.
iNos HERE AND THERE,
Jokes and Jokelet. that Are Supposed
to Have Been Recently Born-sayin9s
and Doings that Are Odd. Curious and
Laushable-The Weeks Humor.

xla08hoOle-T0e weeks
Let'Us All Laugh.
"Does this roof leak always" Agent
-"Oh, no., ma'am; only when 1t rains"
Chicago Inter Ocean.
EYES," said the tree. 81 suppose I'm
ready. SO far as my trunk goes: but I've
decided not to leave until spring.
Life.
Miss Old-"I would never get mar
ried IL 1 had to ask the man." Miss
Peart-"Maybe you wouldn't them
Philadelphia Inquirer.
Belle-"was George very much cast
down after he spoke to your father?"
Nell-"Yes; three flights of stairs."-St
Louis Globe;Democrat.
"Can this PERSONS word be depend
ed upon?" "Heaven's. yes! You can
bank on it that he'll never tell the
ruth."-Chicago Inter Ocean.
Butler-'I may be poor, but there was
a time when 1 rode in IL carriage
Cook-"Yes, and your mother pushed
it."NPall Mall Budget.
"WlMt the new woman wants to
learn" says the Manayunk philosopher,
"fs to buy a larger shoe and a smaller
hat."-Philadelphia Record.
Lady artisD-"Have you noticed the
new art movement in show bills!"
Philistine-"Yes, but If that is art, 1
I'M a fool" Lady-'It is art."-Truth.
Burglar Gust acquitted, to his coun-
seD-"I will shortly call and see you
ut your Office, sir" every good; but in
the daytime, please."-Blumenlese.
Here is Col. links. He wants you
to explain the financial question to
him." Certainly, Colonel. Can you
lend me $1O?'-Atlanta Constitution.
Hiland-"My horse is the most intel
ligent animal / know" Harket-"Go
IN" Hiland-"IIe's away up in gee"
-Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
May-"I wonder what the men do at
the club?" Pamela-"From what Jack
says. l guess they play with the kitty
most Of the time."-Harlem Life.
SpoOns-"And will my ducky trust
me in everything when we are mar
ried?" She-"Everything, Algy. pro-
vided you don't nsk for II night kcy."-
Scribner's.
Mrs. Poore-"Jabez. why do they say
hush money! Mr.. Poore-"I don't
know, Marindy, unless it is that money
talks."-New York Morning Journal.
Aberta-"I believe you call yourself
an advanced woman, dear?" Alcthea-
Eyes, love-" Alberta (sweetly-'Then
YOU may tip the waiter. dear."-Judge.
"scaggs is getting fat" said Willough-
by. He's developed u double chin"
well, he needed it," said Parsons.
Ills original chin was overworked."-
Harper's Bazaar.
Aunt Rosa-"Well, Juanito. what
would you like to be when you are
grown up?" Juanito (whose parents
are very stricD-"Td like to be an
orphan.''-M Dia.
Mrs. Mealer-"I am sorry to say. the
tea is all exhausted" Crusty boarder
IL am not surprised. 1t has been very
weak for some time. '-philadelphia In
quirer.
Woman ut the door-.Are you a
tramp| Waggles-"No. madim; I'm
de pet model ov de Moo York cumick
artists, an somehow l has lost me way"
Syracuse Post.
Maud-And Mr.. Meanitall really said
that 1 was better looking than ever:
Marie (wickedly)-No. dear. He sim
ply said you were looking BETTER
Life.
what, you are going to ask your
employer for his daughters hand!
Suppose he should kick you out!'
"Oh. l have already secured another
place.'-Fliegende Batter.
Mrs. Talker is u very obedient WON
an" "All 1 ever noticed about her is
that she is IN awful gossip "That's
why. What you tell her goes."-New
York Morning Journal.
Pertly-There's one thing which |
have to say in favor of the wind when
it whistles. Dullhead-What's that
Pertly-It whistles popular airs.
Boston Home Journal.
He (encouragingly)-I'm sure of one
thing, my angel. you and 1 will never
quarrel as that couple are doing. She
with decision)-Indeed we won't. II
YOU V speak to me as he did to her,
Ill call the policemen York Weekly.
Mrs. Strongmind-If women would
only stand shoulder to shoulder, they
would Don win the suffrage. DR.,
Guffy-But. madam, that is something
they can't do with the present style
in sleeves.-Tid-Bits
Jack-Madge has beautiful hair,
hasn't She? Nell-Yes; she gets that
from her mother. Jack-I didn't know
her mother had hair of that color,
Nell-Oh, yes! She has all kinds IN
her store.-Philadelphia Record.
Bjones lvery parsimoniously)-It is
n great comfort to me to reflect that
time is money. Browne-Why:
whenever I want to be particularly
liberal to my friends l go out and
L cnon6 cns1,A <fr,o ~,,3<l~ %l,..ry me-,