The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1895-06-25
SHE WAS CRITICAL.
A HemIock Belt Lady on Her Way {
Susan Ann Pettibones.

SHE WAS CHI lCAL.
HenIock Belt Lady on Her Way to
Susan Ann Pettibone's.
was driving along the mountain road
leading from Toms Two Bridges to Hef-
Inns Drop in the helnlock belt one day and
was approaching rather neat looking
house on small clearing at the side of the
road, when woman came running out of
the house toward the road, waving blue,
baggy umbrella, tied with white string.
She carried in her other hand an old fash
toned carpetbag of red and yellow pat
tern She waved the umbrella as If were
an approaching train that she was signal
ing against danger ahead. l stopped at the
signal The woman was sharp featured
and elderly.
"Be We goin ez fur ez the Dropf' she
asked.
l said / was
"No furder?" she inquired.
That was as far as was going
Couldn't We make it handy to squirt on
a couple O. miled furder to my darter Su-
san Ann Pettibone'sP' the woman asked
/ said was sorry, but couldn't go any
farther than Hefin's Drop that day.
"That's kind O. tryin," my interroga-
Tor said, looking disappointed. "But I
s'pose l kin walk them two miled, though
l hadn't orter be asst to at my time O. life.
Well, never mind. Jist oramp your wheel,
sonny, an I'll git In an jog with ye ez fur
ez the Drop Two miled furder, though,
wouldn't be much of squirt fer your boss,
an the two miled back to the Drop wouldn't
hurt him. I guess ye kin stick this here
carpetbag right In front O. We, there. Be
keerful on it, though, fer tha's can O.
p'served peaches, an a can O. termattuses,
an can o. p'eserved ounces in that air
bag ez I'm takin to my darter, Susan Ann
Pettibone, an If they git broke I'll hef to
ast We to pay fer 'em. Jist hold my UNI
b'rel while climb inter your wagon, SON.
ny.
"Therel 1 guess I'm in, but amt
sure never see setch an onhandy wagon
to git interl It's enough to stretch the
hind legs of a kangaroo to climb inter It'll
Hope I didn't git no tar on this bomba-
zine dress o. minel Seems to me jist ez II
did Don't see none though Now,
sonny jist put your legs over that carpet
bag SOS it won't fall outen this onhandy
wagon O. your'n. It's onhandy to climb
inter, but seems to me ez If it was the
handiest kind of wagon fer a carpetbag
to fall out Of But don't squeeze down on
the bag fer mebbe we mowt break some O.
them cans O. deserves that's in it, an I'd
hef to asst We to pay fer 'em. Now guess
I'm all fixed, sonny, an We kin drive ahead
I'd be obleeged if ye'd kind O. squirt your
boss leetle, too, cause I'm on pins an
needles to git to my darter Susan Ann
Pettibone's an can't hardly wait. better
take that umb rel guess. I'm afeerd ye
mowt let it fall outen the wagon. I've
had that umb rel more'n 80 year an set a
powerful store by it. There. Git ap, now,
sonny"
All this hadn't taken up more than Is
seconds of time, but 1t was long enough
for this remarkable woman to practically
gain possession Of me and my wagon, for
all the time she was talking she was act
ing, and when she told me that I might
git APP found myself squeezed into one
corner of my buggy seat, with my legs
thrown over the big carpetbag, and the
owner of the bag and her umbrella occupy
ing the rest Of the establishment. But
Heflin's Drop was only five miles farther
on, and I"spurted'' my horse SO that l
might get the agony over as soon as posi-
BILE. We hadn't gone more than a quarter
of a mile when my passenger turned her
sharp face suddenly toward me and looked
me over suspiciously. At last she said:
I "Lightnin rOds?"
She evidently noticed that was puzzled,
for she supplemented her question with
this one:
II mean be We peddlin of 'emS"
"Oh, nop' / replied.
"SureP" she said, eying me obviously.
| said was quite sure.
"Well, mebbe We ain :" she said, shak-
ing her head, "but you'm jist the same
size an build of Teller that nosed around
through here last year. putin up lightnin
rods, an his receipts fer the money come
back ez Judgment notes that'd take the
shirt often mans backl Jist the same
size an build e'zac'ly, but mobile ye amt
him I'm s'pectin to see this boss o.
yourn balk ev'ry minutel If he does, I'll
hef to dillydally, an my darter Susan Ann
Pettibone'n be powerful Worried don't
see why folks can't drive bosses that don't
act jist ez if they was goin to balk ev'ry
minutel Patent hay forks9''
Sd4A III. ANOo ktheOhO AAehJ AOA No.
"Rakes9''
mo- said l.
young man," she said, "you don't
want to set here an tell me you're tax col
lectinP"
/ said I didn't want to do anything Of
the sort, because l wasn't tax collecting.
This remarkable woman remained quiet
for few minutes and then turned on me
again.
II dunno whether to congratulate We or
not, :" said she, /" cause l amt sure that
you'm the chap from the county seat that's
coming over to marry Squire Polhemus
darter jimmy up to the Drop. Be yer"
said that 1 was not the chap
"Then I kin congratulate yep' said this
darter jimmy is the stuckuppest whipper
snapper of gal tina is in all this spread,
an the chap from the county seat'll find
out that he hain't sot hisself down In no
butter tub when he marries that redhead
jimmy Polhemusl So you amt him2 Then
kin congratulate vel Now, If your boss
don't balk, Wen be at tina Drop in ten
minutes But / know he will He acts
just like it, an folks seems to hev balky
bosses fer nothin else but to git me a ridin
D6nlnG CHI an OIl6n maxim IIle ullly uAllyi
Hev We broke any O. them cans O. pserves,
Think"
hadn't broken any, and the horse did
not balk, and, sure enough, in ten min
utes we were at the Drop.
"That crossroad yender to the right is
the one that runs by my darter Susan Ann
Petitioners" said my passenger. " 1t don't
seem to me ez If it was wuth while fer me
to git out till git there, arter havin had
so much trouble gittin inter this onhan-
dy wagon O. yourn. guess We better squirt
on to Susan AIMS.
But l took a different view Of it, and
this remarkable woman and her baggage
got out at the crossroads. When. she had
got to the ground, she turned on me and
said
"If that amt the onhandiest wagon to
git in an out of that ever see, then I'll
eat the greaseri An I've heerd O. onac-
commodatin an disobligin folks, but you
beat 'em allP'
Then she strobe away toward her daugh-
ter Susan Ann Petitioners, shaking her
head as she went, and hurried on to the
tavern at Hetiin's Drop to find such relief
as it might grant.-Hew York Sun.