The sun., 1895-05-19
TINE MAN FROM BnooxLrx.
observnt,ous sna Ccuunerts Concerning va
rious Topics OF the Present Tr,e.
LONE SHORT CROP

fellow, who was boasting of the liveness Of the
metropolis. He was 40 oppressively metropoli-
tan that. Just to stir him up bit. offered to
show him grass growing In the streets Of New
York within 800 feet OF the United States Sub
Treasury. He was very shrewd and wary about
II. and after pinning IRE down 10 my assertion
as carefully as the Liliputians pinned Guiliver.
he ctfercd to bet me 500 could not do 1t. Then
mildly mentioned thai the grass I'd show
shouh not only be In the street. but the side
walk. At that he raised his ante to $1,000.
I told him $1,000 was no object TO n man
as rich as l was. but luncheon wns.
and II he'd reduce the wager to that,
and pay up on the spot, It was bet. Then
took him in,o Nassau street, between Cedar and
Pine. There right in front of the Equitable
building, there are two littlo openings In the
| sidewalk, covered with q sort of opepwork brass
lids, flush with the flags, but running q little
below them. lr these little spaces below, per-
haps twenty blatcs we're sprouting away. per-
petually shaven of at their tops Of course by
tho passing feet, but thriving well enough
otherwise In the fertile dust.
The face OF my friend was q sight to see.
suppose he had ia ssed over that particular spot
a couple Of thousand ZINES in the last two or
three years. Then weAad good laugh, and
then a GOOD luncheon. with the appurtensnces
ance. The crop OF 1905 isa failure Some VII
enders % or co duss into hstIs Hrsss s. sarsn %
and the poor Sraye ltts blades s s Are dead Bqs
| part 1t was good luncheon.
lL-LoRp RosEBERr's INSOMNIA.
When q common man steals, he Just steals;
| when he takes TO drink, he is juat drunk ard
manage %asS re these things better among tho noble
upper classes. When dienitares seal, that is
| Iiepton.anla; aud when exoellent es exceed.
hat Ia An in m % Inf IA
It Is this last that troubles. the Premier of
ing vigilance OF q great Government is all very
we'll. but when II comes to embodying 1t n ones
guard ali angels OF aristocracy, and the spirit Of
| Liberalism and tho genius Of Brit institu-
T & of hqssnE EofS
he1y trailing clouds o,s Of ,ssnsses,on and sym
first thousand--of ne specifics that have been
poured out Apo him MI Glaa,,snes is
been one of his own reposeful recrea-
empire and evolving the true theory OF the
| Homerlc saga. But when he would limit his
noble neophyse 70 ancient . theology. protest i, in
i scorn and spurn and repudiate the ,assump::
tion Of somniferous superlSIIty on tho behalf Of
| strange coming from q regular attendant at the
most sedatiye Of services in the most soothing OF
|
| its members comfortable. entreat Lord Rose
berry not to decide in favor of the Gladstone
m ae sUen pe r 1 IN,
offer. would bid him rely implicitly on the un-
rivalled resources Of M his native land My pre-
s1 Braid Of Manchester. Let Riin rise no1t sunday
him go out for an hours sharp spin on nm extra
| light British bicycle-sav forty -hve.pound
not ess the u.1s Usual English
and-te aggravation, but a solid north of Tweed
neal, fit for a scottish peer. He had better eat
100 much Of it IL he can. rather than too little.
| Then let him saunttr, carefully disguised 20 the
highest: most ritualistio. pististio church he
ly on the band OF the clergy yman's surpllce just
at the point where 1t would be intersectcd by a
ab!ndon hin, elf TO the spell of :the swell and
cadence Of the clergyman's voice. "Spdrgcns
hIaS Sronsn8 ,H Ee p@ presently
ger into his cab, which should Be ready, and be
! long lost sleep and will wake in q day or two
able to tackle any trouble. from an Armenian
any theology but that of to-day.
m.-APRopos OF ouADRUPLETs.
Josh BILLINGS nays there are two things In this s
world that a man never is prepared for, and
past or possible father to depict to himself what
would be lis feelings under the successive shock
even q veteran poker player finds fancy de-
liquesce into chaos and the future is nothing
Without mercifui cause that Providence has or
in and of quadruplests one in $4,000
Brooklyn was rightly chronicled in the newspa-
pes last week as a remarkable occurrence in
ness Of its own. as q crucial and eliminating
illustration of certain rrles which long age
OBJ f%,d; a. or eVoXea' tor myself on the general
SUI The y rst .eid thns note in the newspaper ao
Was little WomanmtHe % report DC ns SAYS Ave- rees
tall. That is right in the line OF my observation.
Nineteen-twentiethso of the large families have
ing little mites of women. and pretty much
ever. one OF them has pleaded guilty 70
was married. In some rare instances it
nine snt
Was. precisely .nine:y:nine pounds. + he prao::
| tical value OF this fact is equally obvious and
whose in
/ whose programme for the twentieth century
consists chiefly of pions trust and general hope.
she
about about weighs St ninety-nine pounds or near it
Rss , the sss ss ssAs,ns PATH
| pay your family shoe bills. and you will be walk
Ing, about with fHrrows in your features that
M snd 4y
will weigh a hundred and sixty or better.
But this observation Is not all: the case tallies
more curiously still with another experience of
! mine. During the war-in 1853. to bo exact
the Government had some sort of census taken.
and for some inscrutn hle reason Of Its own COM
the hS 9 to the 9f
tob-and Gedssnd 4 seemed. too-of enqmer;
st; Louis. Armed with big fat book,
n clear majority of tho United states,
| sailed out fyll of tho enthnsiasm of
| twenty years, and the modest pride OF an
Assistant Assessors Subordinate Assistant, and
enumerated furiously many days. The story
trouble with thsm was that the loss educated
Supplemented denizens OF the Green Isle, got
the rooted idea that was spying out the land
beforehand to make basis FOR draft Into the
army; and the revilings endured, and tho hot
water dodged, and the encouraged bulldogs
| interviewed, for my countrys sake, are chap
ter unto themselves There were hours when
! the godsend looked like something very much
| the opposite.
My main consolation In my daily woes was an
| unconscious composition In fecundity. Almost
from the first | noticed that the fathers Of the