New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1895-05-22
THE TALK or TIE DAY.

Wigges--Are the insurgents or the royallsts COM
Ing out top in Cuba;
Digges-That depends on which paper you read.
There is a woman out West who wants a divorce.
and this is her plea She says that me" kept her
rats and snakes fried in skunk OIL and that sh.
really would like to get a divorce. We are not
jec bur think she ought at least 10 get divorce
from bed and board 4 not full decree ylnculoi
by him is not We believe. quite 50 good as Il
should be.-tJersey City Journal.
Some one is recalling the fact that about thirty
FIVE years ago men wore balloon sleeves very SINH
lar to the big sleeves now worn by worn-n
Le, This BE Warning -Traveer-Joliyet seems
to be crowded this e N,nnn Can't you give ME
Frsid Hotel Clers-cant accommodate you at
Nex, Traveer-Jo-lI-et appears to be rather quiet
same Clerk-"Front. Show the gentleman TO Par
lor 4. first hoor.-,Chcago Tribune
Brown County (Mo) farmer who recently sent
n dollar in answer 10 an advertisement How 10
&c, Rich" received In rep.y card which
read: THE best plan is to lay for suckers"
watts-Helo. You have let your typewriter 20.
Potts-yes. She was too lsnorlnt-cOuldnt spell
''Dii she get mad when you tod her she had to
'Oh. no | gave as my reason for parting with
her that she was SO PITY shai IN. 9,"rFs e@nrn r
nat! Tribune.
The latest development OF the automatic machine
in Holland f. the Doctor Curea," II Is a wooden
figure ~ man. with compartments all over It.
labelled with ;he names OF various ailments II
you have a pain find its corresponding location on
the figure. drop coin into the slot. and the proper
pill or powder Will come out
Friend 10 professor o. philo,ogy)-What struck
your attention particularly on your vacation trip
Professor-A hundred and twenty-five uhor'Ao-
graphic Observation-Disclosures Batter
In an address before the State Sunday School
Convention AT Eg.n. H.. last week. the Rev Or.
Henson sail: BY the fall OF Adam man became
sensual and dev!lish. Human nature became de-
prayed by being deprived We children Of Adam
and not children of God by nature We are moth
ing like the creature God created In his own image
The do Urine OF the fatherhood OF God IL deviiish
lie and It's outcome is Unlversasm pure and sim
pie
Explaned.-she had been putting away the win.
examining her sealskin sack. and finally remarked
to her husband ,
Henry we've oeeh '"ea'e''
.~rhs is not genuine seal fur: I'm sure o. T.
You told me- that you paid the very highest figure
for i Now. how DO you account ;or the decep-
why my dear. | can't account for 1t unless
and his face brghtened WIN inspiratlonm,un ness
tho seals have gotten INTO the way OF wearing taSe
ha.r."-(Washinston star
the first half or the last half Of the week?
Zounds-Why wha, Is the difference?
Gadzooks-We, you see. he gets his salary every
Saturday and the first hat OF the week. while ne
Is spending II. he Is devil OF fellow. and during
the remainder OF the week he is a poor devil
In a certain li.,.e Scottish town some time ago
they he'd A temperance meeting During the pro-
ceedngs old MAJ who was not cxactly cele-
bratcd for sobrety. got up 70 address ne audience
lie SAID. after a few remarks upon ne beauty and
advantage OF moderation: MY friends. there's Just
m,vcd bv the nuns and ''hahs.' which ensued,
he continued: "Ay. l Just TAX whskey when I
haze nssss fSr Thc re Of he spesh ws lost
i'm the storm OF applause that broke forth-(Bos,on
Globe.
I, is said tina; the future prosperity OF many
port,ons OF the state OF Washington depends upon
finding some feasible method OF DISCRIMINATING the
r,yriads OF squirrels that infost the state. Traps.
guns bombs, arsenic and strychn.ne being
tens!vely employed for the purpose. The bombs
operate on the same principle as the giant powder
cones now In general use except that they are
charged with sulphur and other paralyzlng ingredi-
en,s. and Mt the close OF the process slight ex-
p.osIon occurs producing pyrotechn!c display that
send, the Victims OF squirrel heaven In a b,aze
OF glory so to speak. from beneath the depths Of
the earth.
How tie won.-"ra'se onev' he Kissed.
Mesnns me asked The oWner Of Se sz nn0 or ns
"you bet. Last Christmas the candy I bought
for you came to a. Valentines Day sent you
81 for theatre tickets. And comes along that
odous smlthsrs and takes you 70 the music fest
corsage bouquet at less than half the money and
time i expended on you and you give me the cold
II. The azure eyes tynk:sd, We'll you see" she
lis Journal