Birmingham age-herald., 1895-02-02
KICKING A KINGS sHtNs.

Swatting the Right One Meant for Ills
 Majesty to Say Yes and the Left No
 Whatever may be said of the kings of Hawaii they had true sense of royal dignity, as this story will show.
 Once Lord George, Paulet, in com mand of the British man-of-war Carys- fort, was cruising in the Pacific. He ran into. the harbor of Honolulu, and took look at the islands. He liked them. Accordingly, with true British instinct he decided to annex them to the extensive dominions of her Britain nic majesty. He landed company of marines, hoisted the union jack, fired a cannon, broke n bottle of wine, and announced that Hawaii was British colony
 There were not many whites in Ha- waii then, and the native government was not strong enough to resist Great Britain. The few whites there were chiefly American missionaries. But they were the genuine New England stock. They never lacked for back bone One of them, Dr. Judd, the father of A. F. Judd, the present chief justice of Hawaii, was man of singu- lar courage and great mental force. He was the first white man to hold office in Hawaii, and was then prime minister of the king, Kamehmeha, third of the name. In fact, Dr. Judd was the real ruler of the kingdom.
 Dr. Judd prepared to visit Washing ton to induce the United States to in- terfere in behalf of Hawaii. But be- fore he could go Admiral Thomas, in command of the British squadron in the Pacific, arrived at Honolulu. He disavowed the act of Lord Paulet and ordered that the British flag be taken down. Soon. afterwards his government approved his action.
 Admiral Thomas became an immense favorite with the Hawaiians. They thought there was nobody like him. The king decided to give him splendid banquet at the palace. But the kings knowledge of topics such as Admiral Thomas would be likely to discuss at the banquet was limited. So Dr. Judd arranged that the king and the admiral should sit opposite each other, while he would sit beside the king. Admiral Thomas, who was known to be fond of talking, was to be allowed to monopo- lize the conversation. The king was to say merely yes or no. Dr. Judd was to kick him on the right shin when he should say yes and on the left shin when he should say no.
 The afternoop before the banquet Dr. Judd coachled the king carefully, and the king said he understood.
 The banquet was really sumptuous. The admiral was much pleased with the well-meant and well-cooked com pliment to himself The king also was in his best humor.
 By and by, when the edge was taken off the appetite, the admiral began to talk about public topics, and frequent ly he would appeal to the king to know if he didn't think just that way, too.
 At the first question Dr. Judd kicked the kings right shin under the table, and the king promptly answered no to the admirafs question. According to the prearranged code he should have said yes. Dr. Judd gave him another kick, and he hastily said yes. But minute later the king got mixed again, and the doctors kicks confused him more than ever
 The king made so many mistakes that the doctor was busy throughout the banquet kicking his shins. And his vexation at the kings mistakes caused him to kick pretty hard, too.
 But the king was king, sure enough, mindful of his dignity. He never kicked back, nor did he cast one cross look at Dr. Judd. He merely lis. tened to the admiral and smiled and said mo" when he should have said ''yes," and ''yes' when he should have said ''no." The signals were inextric. ably mixed in his mind.
 When the banquet was over it was found that the king's shoes were full of blood, and his shins were gashed like freshly pounded tenderloin steak by the toes of Dr. Judd's stout boots. He had to be carried to his bed, and he was so lame he could not walk again for two weeks.
 But the king was the right sort. He had true grit. He said to Dr. Judd in Hawaiian:
 "You did right. It was my fault. I got mixed. But you kicked pretty hard. ."-Chicago Times.