davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1895-11-13
The Donkey and the Golf Ball.

A curious incident happened the
other day on the Ravenscliffe golf links
to a member who prefers to remain in
cognito. After driving from the first
tee he took his brassy and played his
ball close to the clubs donkey, which
was grazing near the green. The moke,
whose proclivities for beer and tobacco
are already familiar to the members,
promptly went for the ball, and to the
dismay of the players, and the surprise
and amusement of the onlookers, who
endeavored to make him drop it, he
swallowed it. Latest bulletins report
the animal no worse. The player
wanted to claim the advantage as
holed out in two!-Bradford (Eng.) OBJ
server.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1895-11-13
JUST A PINCH.

He Was Boastfnl, But Failed to Make
Good His Threat.
A pinch OF humanity raised fragile
hand In Fourth avenue and q conduc-
tor rang for the stopping of Madison
and Fourth avenue car. A four-foot
man, with package on which sus-
picious eyes would be cast in prohi-
bition town, made frantic clutches at
the grab-rail of the car, and finally fell
with his bundle across the feet of the
| conductor.
why didn't you stop?" he painted, as
he flashed indignant eyes at the bell
ringer. You're too fresh, and I'll
fight you when we get down to Brooms
street" The conductor said: "Bosh!
60 sit down." He weighed two hun
dred and nine and half pounds. The
pinch Of humanity would not harm
the largest scales an apothecary ever
had.
'Sit down! I won'tr screamed the
little fellow. II know my rights, and
I'll fight you when we get to quiet
place."
The pinch went into the car and sat
down between two women who, be-
fore his advent, had been talking to
each other. He couldn't keep still, and
every few seconds would square him.
self into fighting attitude and squeal
| at the conductor: You're fresh! I'll
fight you in a few minutes"
This went on until the car was near.
ing Broome street.-The chosen battle
ground of the pinch. The little fellow
got up and, crossing the car, squeezed
himself into seat beside man who
was talking to woman.
Say" he said huskily, ''do you
want to see a fight? Watch me! I'm
going to do it now. Will you be a
witness? Give me your name, won't
you? l want you to tell about it in
court tomorrow"
Get outr' said the man to whom
these remarks were addressed II
have troubles of my own. Get away
from me! Don't bother me''
WELL" said the pinch, "here goes,
anyway. Watch me. Hold my bundle.
No, guess I'll take it with me. One
hams enough.
The pinch ran to the rear platform
and putting his hands in fighting
position, said:
"Mr. Conductor, you're too fresh.
I'm going to lick you. Look out nowl'
His right arm had swung as much
as two inches. The car was just roll
ing into Broome street. The conduc-
tor caught him by the collar, lifted
him three feet in the air, and dropped
him on the pavement. The pinch's
bundle fell, and he stood, the most
dazed man in the Bowery, looking at
the disappearing car.
''That's all right" he screamed,
shaking one fist, while he reached for
his package with the other. You're
too fresh! I'll lick you next'time I
meet you!"-N. Y. Times.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1895-11-13
The Last Word with the Pastor.

A skeptic engaged in religious dis
cussion with a country pastor thought
to end the whole matter by declaring
that there was no such place as Heav-
en-, and that, for his part, he believed
in metempsychosis. You believe,
then" said the pastor. shat your soul
may enter the body of beast after
your death?" Certainly" "And you
expect to feel quite at home, sup
poser" Thereupon the sKeptic decided
that the last word was with his antag-
Onist-I Oston Record.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1895-11-13

In DOr1nda, ana she KNOWS ~. oHo
would also know if l did not, and would
order her ways accordingly. Derinda
is person of excellent sense. l saw at
once, on this particular occasion, that
she was feeling much annoyed, but 1
did not make any inquiries, conjectur-
ing that they would be unwelcome, and
knowing them to be unnecessary. l
am very well acquainted with Dorlnda.
She pulled off her gloves with nerv-
Gus gesture and tossed them on the
table; her hat followed, then she un-
fastened her wrap and sank YEARLY
into comfortab BILE chair, while l pro-
ceeded with my task of endeavoring to
repair, as inconspicuously as possible,
a very conspicuous rent in diminutive
pair of trousers.
Dorinda watched me absently few
moments, then inquired: ''How did he
accomplish it? Was there nail in the
cellar door? or did the poor child at
tempt to hang himself in fit of des-
peration over the appalling amount of
unpunisha BILE rudeness in the world?"
l lifted my brows with an 30, that's
It, is it?" expression, and asked "From
what point of view has it presented
itself this time?"
1.-THE interrogation point" Dorinda
replied, then taking off her wrap, an
nounced that she would stay to tea.
Every WE'LL" said I. ''You see this
basket, and Jane is away. However, if
you are willing to risk it., don't object
in the least"
''I'll take the chances, I'm not very
hungry" and picking up pair of stock
ings, Dorinda began deity to fill the
gaping heels.
There was silence for few moments,
then she exclaimed impetuously: "Isn't
it the strangest thing that people who
consider themselves well-bred should
ask the questions that they do, and
sometimes very evidently with the idea
that they are being polite and agree
able!" and she darned away with en-
ergy, which method of relieving her
feelings was, confess, quite satisfac-
tory to me-"
"Who is the offender this timer" / in
quired, critically inspecting at arms
length the results of my labor on the
trousers aforesaid.
"There are several of her. I've been
making calls all the afternoon. and
feel ready to renounce the custom for
ever. Now you know it is not my way
to discuss in detail my own or family
affairs. Some people enjoy it, and I
suppose the best intentioned of the
questioners take it for granted that
every one does, their bumps of discrimi-
nation being but slightly developed;
other well-meaning persons are
thoughtlessly curious, while as for
those nominal members of polite socie-
ty who catechise one out of pure in
quisitiveness, they, of course, cannot
be expected to take into account the
trivial question of acceptability. In
quisitive -inquisition," she concluded,
thoughtfully.
After a short pause she continued
(Dorinda is not given to unpleasant
personalities, but she now and then un-
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1895-11-13
DORA BEGAN DEFTLY TO FILL THE GAP
ING HEELS.


burdens her mind to me as on this oc-
casion), II always dread to go to Mrs.
Bayne's; I never do go except when
persuaded that it will seem decidedly
rude to stay away any longer, she is so
kind and friendly. To-day she asked if
I were going home during vacation,
and when l replied that did not ex-
pect to do so, she looked SO surprised,
and then inquired, point blank: why
not?'
'Was under any obligations to tell
her couldn't afford it? didn't any
way, but gave an evasive answer, and
her countenance continued to express
the most exasperating surprise and in
terrogation, and left as soon as posi-
BILE, fully determined never to go there
again.
80, of course SHALL" she added, in
response to my look of disapproval-
Mrs. Bayne is an excellent woman,
''but it will not be for the pleasure of
going, certainly.
"Mrs. George Smith inquired what
wages Tom is getting now, and did
not tell her. I laughed and said that
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1895-11-13
A Fish Story.

Bluegrass-I caught sucker the
other day that weighed hundred and
eighty pounds.
Burbiu-Oh, come off. You fellows
that fish can't tell the truth.
''But I'll swear to it. / sold him
that old boss got from you for one
hundred and fifty dollars for two hun
dred dollars. Detroit Free Press.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1895-11-13
The Fool.

IA girl" he observed with asperity,
makes fool of herself when she
affects the masculine"
'Oh, dear me-" she rejoined. II am
sure you are too severe upon your sex.
Yes"
Really, it was such chilly evening,
but-thank you-strawberry, if you
please. Detroit Tribune.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1895-11-13
Tho Whole Thing.

NO." said the prosperous gentle
man, with the large diamond and both
feet on the car seat, you can hunt a
seat in another car. lam not going to
bother myself for ham actor"
Sir" said Barnes former, with fine
courtesy, 81 would rather be a ham
actor than act the hog."-Indianapolis
Journal.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1895-11-13

The latest addition to Americans
abroad is the smart saying of a New
York girl to an Englishman who took
der what becomes of all the peaches in
your country" he said. ''Oh, we eat
what we can, and can what we can't, F"
answered the ready-tongued maid
N. Y. Sun.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1895-11-13

To be innocent is to be not guilty;
evil feelings and intentions-Penn.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1895-11-13
SOCIAL .[NQUISITORS.
BY G. A. FAsKER.

ORINDA dropped in
the other day, after
the free and easy
and altogether de-
lightful fashion that
she has of SO doing
whenever she feels
inclined. l should
not like this custom
in every one I ad-
init, but I do like it
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1895-11-13

How MUCH that the world calls selfishness
is only generosity within narrow walls--a
too exclusive solicitude to maintain wife
in luxury, or make ones children rich.-T.
w. Higginson.
The Madisonian. (Virginia City, Mont.) 1873-1915, 1895-07-20
A Successful Specialist.

DR.. J. {. Lannerberg, the eye spec
~ialist. has been in town for the past
week and has fitted a large number of
neople with ~syectacles, which are
giving entire satisfaction.
Dr.. Tannerberg understands his
business thoroughly, and as he makes
no charge for examination. those who
have trouble with their eyes will dc
we'll to have him examine them.
Many people who are troubled with
sick headache have an idea that be.
cause they can see that their eyes are
all right when an examination proves
that the whole trouble lies in then
eyes, and a pair of spectacles properly
ajusted will entirely cure them.-
Idaao Falls Register. 1t
The Madisonian. (Virginia City, Mont.) 1873-1915, 1895-07-20
Close Connections with the n. =

Commencing May 10Th and until fur
Their notice. the stage for Sappington
will leave Virginia City at 1:30 a. m,
running through to Sappington with
out lay-over arriving there at : p. m.
The Northern Pacific through east
bound train passes Sappington at 1870.
midnight. The train for Butte and all
points west passes Sappington at 6:3G,
a.. m.
For the return trip the stage will
leave Sappington at 7 a. m. running
through to Virginia City, without lay,
over, arriving at ! p. M.
For rates. time tables and other
information write to w. NJ. Tuohy,
General Agent n. p. r. r., Butte.
Mont.
The Madisonian. (Virginia City, Mont.) 1873-1915, 1895-07-20
BUYING SOCIAL POLISH.
An English Couple Who Instruct In the
Art of Being Fine.

A new profession for ''gentlefolk'
has been discovered in London by two
~impecunious members of the class. They
have discovered that there is livelihood
to be obtained by ''polishing off, the
nouveaux riches and Others whose man-
ners ''have not that repose which stamps
the caste Of We're de We're" They are a
we'll born, We'll bred married couple
who are still sufficiently young TO be
adaptable. They have been used to the
ways Of the leisure class, and they are
clever enough to teach them. Anything
from the cure Of the cockney accent to
the proper way to entertain q duke is
Taught for a consideration"
The wife describes her share of the
work thus: Il generally she says.
undertake to engage the services Of all
specialists, such as superior maids. who
know what is what and can give judi
cious and useful hints TO their mistress ;
also manicuristS, teachers of department
and sometimes teachers of elOcutiUn. |
have cured one very bad case Of mere
outward ~vulgarity in three weeks for 10
guineas. and | have corrected a cOckney
accent i'll three mornings for 3 guineas,
| while, ON the other hand, Il certain city
man, who never aspircd TO anything
better than heavy British dinners. Fri
days to Mondays at Brighton, and Man
sion House balls until he married the
daughter Of a west end restaurant man
ager-she knew nothing Of life beyond
her W narrow sphere-gave us carte
blanche to make fine folks Of them.
"Not much could he done for him be-
You'd keeping him quiet, but she lent
herself to our process. Now they have a
very pretty place III Hampshire and en-
terrain some rather nice people i'll the
summer. We ourselves received l0C
guineas for our advice, but tie husband
must have spent over $4,000 i'll adopt.
ing our hints as to mode Of Living, anG
he tells us that what he has got for it is
worth double as much. '-Philadelphia
Press.
The Madisonian. (Virginia City, Mont.) 1873-1915, 1895-07-20
on Time.

Washington had many admirable traits
worthy Of imitation, and n ot them
was rigid punctuality, This Was we'll
illustrated by an incident during his
visit to Boston 100 years ago. Having
appointed s o'clock in the morning as
the hour at which he should set out for
Salem. he mounted his horse j.st as the
Old South clock was striking that hour.
The company Of cavalry which was to
escort him did not arrive till after bis
departure and did not overtal:e him till
he had reached Charles river bridge
Exchange.
The Madisonian. (Virginia City, Mont.) 1873-1915, 1895-07-20

Once there lived a bachelor maiden,
Years and years ago (2),
And her mind with truth was laden,
But her heart was cold as snow.
For she thought, With good old Plato,
Size could live alone,
So she smiled on many a sutton,
But hcr heart WAS hard as stone.
Cane u bachelor man a-suing
For her friendship ~
This. alas, was her unGoinr,
a it might have been with YOU.
For her friendship still he sued her
Such Il simple thing
Till before she knew he woocd her,
Wooed her with q friendship ring.
Now, although she's fond Of Plato,
Fer cold ho.rt's grown warm,
And her theories If living
Have imliltd q wondruus charm,
For she says: TITS human nature,
81 itc OF Ilato's pen.
Men We're made for loving women,
Women 1uaGc FOR loving mon"
Mary ". Slater in Kate Fiel0's Washingto
The Madisonian. (Virginia City, Mont.) 1873-1915, 1895-07-20
4 BACHELOR MAID.

ny HUM PARKER.
The Madisonian. (Virginia City, Mont.) 1873-1915, 1895-07-20
White CRP STORY
IT COMES FROM CENTEN-
lAL Valley.
They Warn a Wife Reater to Reform
or Leave the Valley-1he Old Story
Of h Man Who Tried to Help the
Prosecuted Wife.

From the Centennial valley country
comes a story OF White caps which has
not heretofore been published. The
MAD1SONIAN gets its information
from a Centennial valley man. who how
ever would disclose no names. but all
the parties concerned are we'll known.
For sometime past a rancher has been
beating and maltreating his wife. Re
Gently she was on a shed roof helping
her husband to repair the roof. when
he become incensed at her for some-
thing. and struck her a blow with his
fist, knocking her clear off the roof to
the ground. A few nights later IA
number of masked men. wearing white
caps, rode up to the wife-beater's home
and informed him that unless he con-
scented to treat his wife better he would
be tarred and feathered. horse whip
ped. and driven from the country.
Thoroughly frightened he promised to
reform.
It did not take long for the news OF
the visit of the White Caps to spread
over the valley. and a few days later an
acquaintance met on the road from
Monida the couple who had received
the MYSTERIOUS visit. He began to
''josh" them about the occurrence
which they did not relish, as subse
quent events proved. While he wa:
talking to the husband. the wife. III.
noticed by him, got out of the wagon
slipped up behind him and struck hin
a heavy blow on the back of the heat
with a bar of iron. knocking him from
his horse. The husband then jumped
out of the wagon and assisted his wife
pounded him numerically. They ler
him unconscious by the roadside, ant
reported. at the first house they passed
that they had killed him. Severa
men at once went out to find the body
but found that the man. while badly in
iured and unconscious. was still alive
He is recovering and out Of danger.
This is the story as it reached tn,
MADISONIAN. Possibly it is eXage1
ated as such stories usually are. bu
our informatant is thoroughly relia
BILE.
The Madisonian. (Virginia City, Mont.) 1873-1915, 1895-07-20
SYNOPSIS OF PROCEEDINGS
Of the Board Of Commissioner Of
Madison County, Special July aes-
sion. 1898.
r DAY-JULf 10.

FIRST DAY-JULf 10.
The board of commissioners of Madison
county, Montana. met IN special session at
the office OF the county clerk, on Monday.
July 10, 1895, pursuant to due and legal
notice, and in accordance with the provis-
ions OF the statutes in such case made and
provided, tor the purpose OF examining,
adjusting and correcting, ii found
necessary, the assessment roll made
and returned by the county assessor, tor
the current year.
Present: Joseph Smith. J. ). Crlsman and
George Copp, commissioners, and Barclay
Jones, clerk.
The first matter considered was the pc
tltion OF the receivers OF the Northern Pa
ciic Railroad Co.. asking that the lands Tt
turned by said company to the county as
SCISSOR and by him entered upon the assess
ment roll, tor the current year. be stricken
from said roll. The petition having been
duly considered, was, on motion, refused.
Mrs. +. l.. Smith appeared before the
board In person and presented her sworn
application for the reduction III the assess.
ment made by the assessor upon the stock
OF merchandise owned by her, asking tina,
the valuation OF 5000 ploced thereon by
the assessor, be reduced to So 600. The
statements OF the petitioner III support OF
her application We're heard; as We'll as the
statements of the assessor, as to his action
IN the premises, and the matter Was taken
under advisement by the board.
The remainder OF the day was occupied
in examining the assessment roll. Boare
adjourned to 10 a. III. OF Tuesday the 10th
lest.
SECOND DAY-JULY IL.
Board met pursuant to adjournment
present, the same members as on yesterday
HIS Gilbert appeared before the board
as the agent, and in behalf, OF Thomas Fore
and presented the statement OF said Ford
with his own sworn statement, praying TO-
q reduction in the assessed valuation
placed upon certain lands owned by tn
said Ford, near Melrose, md there bein;
The Madisonian. (Virginia City, Mont.) 1873-1915, 1895-07-20

of religions. educational, or charitable
purposes. and all free exhibitions. en-
tcrtainments and lectures shall not be
subject 10 any license. Bankers and
brokers SO per Quarter.
The Madisonian. (Virginia City, Mont.) 1873-1915, 1895-07-20
Concealment No Longer Necessary.

Mrs. Oldun-Whv, my dear, you look
ten years older since You We're married.
Mrs. Youngun-And am. 4on know
I have been only % for the past ten
vears.-Detroit Free Press.
The Madisonian. (Virginia City, Mont.) 1873-1915, 1895-07-20
Card Of Thanks.

take this opportunity of expressing
to the people OF Virginia City. my
friends and acQuaintances. my sincere
thanks for the many kindnesses shown
me during my great and lrrepressable
sorrow.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1895-10-25

Aberdeen, October ga delightful hop
was given in the Town Hall on Tuesday even
ing by a committee consisting of Messrs
George and John Roberts, Samuel Sutton and
Il. l.. Morgan. Music was furnished by
Young's orchestra, of Baltimore. As the
evening was pleasant, there was large at
tendance, which made the occasion thorough
ly enjoyable.
Mr.. John Parker Mitchell's barn was totally
destroyed by fire last Saturday afternoon. He
lost fifty barrels of corn, fifty bushels of pota
toes, five hundred bushels of wheat. twenty
tons of hay, and other things. The stock and
vehicles which were in the building were saw
ed The barn was insured, but the contents
were not.
Mr.. William ii. Rawhouser, who was in ur-
ed in a runaway accident last week, We are
glad to note has sufficiently recovered to be
out again.
Mrs. Coale, of High Point, spent last Friday
here with her daughter, Miss Helen Coale.
Miss Nirgie Harris, of Bush River Neck, is
visiting Miss Carrie Cord.
Miss Maggie Butler, of Rocks, is visiting
relatives in this vicinity.
Mrs. Morgan Mitchell and Mrs. 7. l.. Han
way spent last Thursday in Baltimore.
Miss Anna Hilton, of Clarksburg, who is
visiting her brother, Mr.. C. S. Hilton, spent
several day last week with friends in Elkton
Miss Maude Raymond, of Baltimore, is so,
journing at the residence of her uncle, Mr.. G.
Alfred Mitchell.
Mrs. Joseph Bell, of Baltimore, spent last
Saturday and Sunday with her brother, Mr.
ID. f. Mitchell.
Rev. Mr.. Peters, of the Baltimore Confer,
ence, delivered an interesting lecture OIL
'Matrimony' in the NJ. E. Church, Tuesday
evening last.
Rev. Mr.. Bunting, of Havre de Grace
preached at the NJ. Z. Church South last Sun
day evening and the Rev. Mr.. F. Heisse, of
Baltimore, conducted the services in the NJ
L. Church the same evening. VIRGINIA.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1895-10-25
Bitten by n Rabid Dog.

NoRRIsvILLE, Oct. 2l.-The weather has
been very pleasant for the past week, but
every nick or crack in the air is filled with
politics. We still live, and hope to until the
fifth of next month, and then we will help to
elect John E. Hurst Governor.
Miss Ella Fowndes, who lives with Mr..
James Wiley, was bitten by dog last Satur-
day which was supposed to be mad. They
killed the dog and cut his head off and Mr..
Wiley took the young lady and the dogs head
to Baltimore the same day. We have not
heard what the physicians thought of the mat
ter.
A fire broke out In Mr.. James Wfley's
woods Sunday and burned over about five
acres of woodland.
There was Republican meeting held at this
place one evening last week, and every since
the boys have been singing bah, bah, black
sheep have you any wool?
A little child of Mr.. William McCann's is
very i'll with diphtheria.
Mrs. William Hughes who has been suffer-
ing for some time with cancer, is not improv
ing very fast.
MIR James Barton saw pigeon on his barn
roof one day last week, and being crack
shot he got his gun, intending to shoot it. As
he raised the weapon the bird shook its head
and stepped two or three steps back and slip
ping, fell to the ground, breaking its wing.
Mr.. Barton caught it and there silver
band on its leg marked w. Kenenberg, 357 s.
Queen St., Lancaster, Pa, and the letter 5.
16,401. Mr.. c. Miller, who was there at the
time, wrote to Mr.. kenenberg and got an an
swer stating that it was his pigeon, but the
poor bird was cooked for supper and not a
scrap left.
Mr. Barton has had his new dwelling house
painted. E. s. NJ.