The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1895-05-03
AFTER-DINNER ORATORY
Bottled Eloquence Uncorked at
Big Banquets.
A Tiresome Experience for the Average
Citizen-Briilisnt Post Prandial
Speakers Are Always
In Demand.

and oratory, and the inclination To mix
the two is leading TO interesting conse-
quences. 1t is "a matter of easy calcula-
ton TO show that from the first of No
vember to the first of May the public
dinners given in this country average
more than a hundred a night, and, as
there are at least six speeches at each,
the total is usually impressive. AT
many of these dinners, says Frank Les
lies Weekly, the same stories are told;
speaker who originates happy illus
tration or a successful bon mot is re-
echoed wherever his performance is
known. II wish had said that" said
Oscar Wilde to Whistler, after one of
Whistler's best epigrams "Oh, but
you will say it," responded the merci-
less James. 1t is largely that way with
after-dinner oratory, and we may well
inquire where the fashion is going to
end unless it is more judiciously di-
rected.
There is an awful suspicion that the
people who buy ten dollar and twenty
dollar tickets, and who simply eat and
drink and listen, may get tired of being
bored. 1t is one of the disadvantages
of the growth of total abstinence that
it makes the after-dinner audience
more critical. When under the full in
SEPARATION of unnumbered bottles the
banqueter cares very little about the
quality of the speeches. All that he
hopes to do is TO keep his eyes open,
his body steady, and occasionally to
pound the table by way of showing
those around him that he is the soberest
man in the company. 1t is easy for a
prosy speaker to work off moss-covered
anecdotes upon an intellectual condi-
ton of this kind. And it is still easier for
the victims of the evening to sing For
he's a jolly good fellow" whether they
really think he is or not. But nova
days intemperance, even at banquets,
is distinctly questionable. The many
wines are tasted more than they are
drunk. The quality is praised, while
the man who "goes in" for mere guam
tity is set down as bulgarian. There
are exceptions, of course, and there are
many dinners which end in mental fog
and physical uncertainty. But the
great majority of the banquets are
tor finds before him hundred or more
of clean, keen and intelligent faces that
measure him at his own height, and do
not magnify his size or his words
through an alcoholic atmosphere. The
increase of sobriety. therefore, distinct
ly threatens to bring after-dinner speak
ing down to a practical basis on which
q bore will be recognized as bore and
a plagiarist as plagiarist.
At best a banquet is tiresome eX-
perience for the average citizen, and If
the people who support banquets
should make up their minds TO revolt,
what is to become of the numerous
gentlemen who are assured in their
own minds that they are very happy as
after-dinner speakers, but who some
times fail TO prove the facts to those
who hear them? A mania of this kind
is practically incurable. Heretofore it
has existed upon the good-natured toll
erance of friendship, and in years to
come, as there may be necessity of
finding a way to handle it, there will
doubtless arise post-prandial audience
agency, which will supply on short no.
tice TO orators of this kind brilliant
and appreciative assemblage, who will
applaud at the right time and with the
fervor of real enthusiasm.
There is another thing. The really
brilliant post-prandial speakers are be-
sieged with applications all through
the year There are SO few of the
really good ones in proportion to the
demand that they cannot begin to ac-
cept a third of the invitations that are
extended to them. Now, all this
means work, and the men who are
worth listening to are generally men
who work hard in their profession or in
their business. More than one of them
has sacrificed a part of his life for
after-dinner speeches, which at best
could only be feeting in their interest
and results. The dinner with us has
not yet come to an occasion for the
PRONUNCIATION of important principles
of policies. The speeches are most sue
cessful when most fragmentary; but
the strain is there just the same. AS
the world grows older every leading
business man becomes more engrossed
in his particular work. We have not
yet succeeded in cultivating leisure.
But among the men who bear the hon
ors in the different walks are many
who begin to see that they must con-
serve their energies, and that they
have yet to learn that sitting six hours
at a table and eating and drinking
lot of things which the human stomach
does not especially want is a poor way
TO take care of health. Perhaps these
gentlemen may revolt from banquets
and leave the field TO the great army OF
mediocrities, who mean well, but who
do not love their fellow-men as much
as they should Perhaps there may be
a way out of the difficulty through the
monograph and the kaleidoscope, but
that is yet TO be developed. 1t is GER
tain that the giving of banquets will
go on, and that there will be need for
speech-making. We must look at the
question fairly and then do what we
can to reform it. The first great step
should be for the listeners to put down
the stupid orator, and the next great
n 4. r.. a -