Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1895-03-23
NUMBER 6.
sprfnkIea OF spice.

three rings. Cldra-'1 guess SQ6'HI
trying to make the greatest show on
earth of herself. ."-Yonkers Statesman.
Little girl-'fWhat did you do in Cali
fornia?" Little boy-'I spent most or
the time learnfn' to pronounce the
names of the towns we stopped at
Good News g%A
''Ahr' said the statesman, governs
ment trying my plan at last" Wife
whats that?" Statesman-"Bor7
rowing money! = Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Kate-"I was out skating last even
ing and 1 fell down no less than ten
times" Ethel-"What! Only ten times,
and Jack there to help you up?"-Bos-
ton Transcript,
Little Johnnie why do so many
cities have floating debts?" Mrs. Flat.
teri don't know, dear, unless it is
to keep them from sinking under their
obligations. s."-Brooklyn Life.
Little Miss Freckles proudIy)-"MY
new doll winds up and walks" Little
Miss Muggs (airily)-"If I'd a-known
that kind was bein' sold, I'd a-got one
for waiting maid for my dollie."-
Good News.
Boy-"Mr. Dunn called to see about
that bill of his" Mr.. Short-'<Well, il
lie comes in again, tell him his bill is
i'll a good state of preservation and Isl
likely to reach good old Boston
Transcript,
He-''What allowance do you think
your father ought to make us when we
are marriedY She-@Well, if he makes
ample allowance for your faults, j.
think he will be doing all that can be-
expected of him. m."-Tid-Bits
At the Fortune Teller's-''That is q
very dark future you predict for mey
madamv' "Why sir, what could you
expect for a sixpence? Pay me shilk
ling and I'll see what l can do for your
lie Moniteur Litteraire.
Mistress (on the second day to new
ok)-"Kathi, just be SO good as to lend
me five marks" Cook (aside) Ha,
ha! that why she said yesterday that
the cook in her house was treated as
one of the famiIy''-Der Schalk.
Father-'So, my dear boy, 1 wish you
many happy returns of the day; and, as
a reward for your diligence and good
conduct 1 will get the dentist to draw
that bad old tooth of yours that gives
you so much pain!'-El Mundo Comico.
Justice (severely)-"How could you,
SIR be so mean as to swindle people
that put confidence in you?" Prisoner
-"Well, judge, I'll make it worth some
thing to yer if you'll tell me how to
work them as DOM ."-Life's Calendar.
The will is opened, the notary reads
Item. bequeath to my nephew, Jean
Pierre, the two sheep that strayed
away a fortnight back, provided they
turn up again; if not, 1 bequeath them
to my faithful servant, Nicholas. lie
GauIois.
Mrs DeNeat-"It seems to me that
for man who claims to deserve chari-
ty, you have a very red nose" MoldX
Mike-"Yes, mum; the cheap soaps
that US poor people has to use is very
hard on the complexion, mum. New
York Weekly.
Mrs B.-'T can't see what's your OBJ
lection to young Mr. Goodly. Every
body speaks well of him." Miss 3.
wouldn't wish me to marry man that
] would never have a right to scoldv'--
Harper's Bazar.
Lover-"You are getting prettier
every day" Sweet girl-"Just now
am living on brown bread and water
to improve my complexion" How
long can you keep it up?' 80, indefi-
nitely'' "Then let's get married.
New York Weekly.
Wibbles Here is a firm advertising
that it has over 100 pianos out on trial"
WabbIes-"Well, what of it?'' Wibbles
Nothing, only if that internal in
strument in the house next door to me
is one of them it certainly ought to be
convicted. Buffalo Courier.
The silvery sleigh bells in the maiden's
ears
Sound like the prelude OF her we'd
ding chimes,
While in them her unhappy lover hears
His jingling wreck of dollars and OF
dimes!
New York Herald.
Theodorus-'I always read the par
liamentary reports very carefully. but
have never come across any speech OF
yours yet" Bernard (M. P.)-"How is
that? Have you never noticed the
words Cheers and Hear, Hear? That's
where come in. -Stuivers Blad.
"Men are such inconsistent Great
ures," sighed Mrs. Witterby. "It was
only the other day they were enthusi-
astic about smashing the machine at
the polls, and now l see that they are
going to vote by machinery. What
won't they do next?''-B Brooklyn Life, i