Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1895-06-27

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What inquired ths-youth.
YOU are late again.
| rs that so:'
YOU know 1t is so. Have you an,
excuseT "
Nm like the deaf and dumb fellow
that fell down the steps and stepped on
himself-he didu't have word TO say
Then l shall haye tochastise you.'
u didn't know people was chastised
only when they got religion. Marin,
she caught religion when it was ragin'
last'fall and the minister he thastiaed
her in Jim Goslosh's pond. Itwas more
fun than a dog fight. Me and all the
other fellers was there, and when the
minister ducked marm she opened her
mouth to holler Glory She didn't
get it shet till so much water run in that
the pondwas lowered soGoslosh couldn t
run his grist Mill till there came anoth-
er rain. The waster it was kinder thick
and marm she e-'
THAT will do, sir, squeAked Ichabod,
as the scholars began to litter.
'All right drawled the boy looking
eomewhat disappointed" But ! did
want to tell ye how the doctor took the
water out Of marm with squirt-gun.
That squirt-gun business kinder give
me new idee. Marin she was always
great on soup-had it ev'ry time she
had comp'ny. She uster have me bring
it on, so the next time she had comp'nY
which happened to be the minister
and some Of the church members-I
brung on the soup and squirt-gun
] walked round behind the the folks
and says Soup 2 then when they'd open
their mouth, Id run the squirt.gun in
ter their throats and give them an in
lection. Then they say they didn't
care for soup, Id run the squirt. gun in
again and draw out the charge. 1t was
Ichabod smote Reuben oyer the head
with the starboard side of book.
I Reuben sat down on the floor.
will you be silent?' shrieked the
professor, executing a skirt dance above
the surprised lad.
Reuben nodded.
MI tell ye the rest of the story some
other time
YOU needn't bother about it. Get
up
: Reuben arose.
AS punishment for being late, pro-
to place you in a humiliating position
before the entire school. Please stand
here by my desk
Reuban stood.
Then Ichabod made little speech
that was supposed to lead the scholars
to look on Reuben with great contempt.
lie stood beside Reuben as he made
the speech, and the boy was busy all
the time the professor was speaking.
With the skill Of a conjuror the in
famous young wretch was busy trans
ferring several very decrepit eggs from
bis pocket to Ichabods pocket in the
tail of his long black coat.
When the speech was finished Reuben
was instructed to stand in a corner near
the professors desk.
Then the first class in arithmetic was
called, and Mr., Flip sat down on the
pocket in which the sickly hen fruit had
been deposited.
Reubin grinned so wide that his
mouth nearly dislocated his ears.
Ichabod caught him in the act.
Up he popped like aJack.;n:the. box.
The broken eggs were already begin
ming to stream out through the lining of
his pocket: '' ~ '','''
The smell Of them was quite profound.
When Ichabod sprang up and whirled
round, the drippings from his pocket
made figure eight on the floor.
The scholars laughed.
NIL teach yon, you young scoundrel,
shouted the professor-I'll teach you
to stand there and make the whole
school laugh Sc"
l. He was 50 angry that the PRECIPITATION
began to run off his face.
His hand went round for his hand
kerchief, which he always carried in his
Coat tail pocket. w.
Out came his handkerchief, we'll sat-
urated with QUO of date hen fruit.
+ In his excitement Ichabod fetched it
slosh across his countenance.
Then he gave yell Of dismay that
cracked the Joints in the stovepipe.
| Murder he howled, holding on to
his nasal organ with one hand and hold
ing the handkerchief up for inspection
with the other. What is this? Some
thing has died in my pocket