Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1895-04-23
HOUSEKEEPING.
Mr.. WiggleswOrth Saves a Dollar by
Hanging Paper.
Mrs. Wigglesworth Stands by an
Unwilling Assistant Without any
Salary-She Tells Some Ladies
Who Called Soon Afterward That
It Was Really

When Mr.. Wigglesworth went into
the sitting room the other DAY ne
found the carpet UP and there was a
bundle of wall paper in a char.
What's this:' he shifted suspl-
ciously.
ITS wall paper" his wife respond
ed. u got it at q great bargain down
town to Root q Glider s-closing out
of new spring goods, just received, at
less than cost. The man told me SO
himself
Hunt" grunted her husband, I'M
rolling a package and holding it wrong
side up. Looks like a case of Uellr-
ious trimmings
YES" huttered Mrs. Wigglesworth;
lit is the new art, the man said
after Aubrey Beardsley.
Who's Aubrey Beardsley? coldly
returned Mr.. Wigglesworth, with q
falling infection.
-He-he is-the-the man that has
get up so many new ideas oI-of art,
AIRS. Wigglesworth explained. They
arc quite crazy over him, you know,
SO the man said
well. if they're any crazier tnan
Beardsley l pity them. growled her
husband dropping the roll in disgust
who's going to hoist this nightmare
on to our walls?" he continued.
II want you to step in and speak
to the paperhGnger on your way down
his wife returned, timidly.
20. yes: that's it, Mr.. Wigglesworth
enorted: teller with blackboard on
his shoulder and a hinge in the middle
and 81 q day'-and then idea shot into
Mr.. WiggleswOrth's active brain.
"B'georger' he cried, firing with II,
IN hang this paper myselt!' and he
began peeiing off his coat
But. Ellery,' his wife said, in mild
expostulation, you haven't had any
experience. 50
Experience nothing" retOrted Mr..
Wigglesworth. What's experience
got to DO with q handy man? -Four
dollars a days experience enough for
me. and | must be chump if / can't
snWar some moist flour over the near
end of a few sheets OF paper and slap
EN- uD against a smooth walln'
When Mr.. Wigglesworth had made
up his mind to do thing it was like
the French revolution-it had 10 go.
I'm brief time he had the hired girl
boiling some paste and Mrs. Wiggles-
worth had tied one Of her aprons about
his neck, much 10 his disgust. She
said when all nature was vocal with
the melody of spring, when the birds
were fluting their first glad notes and
a thousand streams made music in
their Journey towards the sea, she
didn't propose TO have her husband go
ing through the street with flour paste
all over his new spring clothes.
Mr Wieglesworth opened one OF the
rolls of paper, spread it out on the
dining room table, and taking a
sight at the altitude of the room, cut
of q strip that appeared TO be the
proper length Utilizing q crumb
brush he spread on a copious quantity
Of paste and then lifted the paper by
one end He put his arms up TO their
full length. but the other end Sf the
paper still fingered Orthe table.
why don't you take hold Of it?" he
said testify to his wife, who stood anX-
iously looking on.
So Mrs. Wigglesworth appraised the
other end and her husband stood on a
chair. He reached for the border line
OF the wall, but fell short of it.
why don't YOU 80 fetch a table?'
he augrily roared TO his wife. That's
right" he shouted, as Mrs. Wigglcs-
worth dropped her end Of the paper
and the pasty side trailed over the back
of the chair and chung about his knees.
You told me 10 get the table Mrs.
Wigglesworth protested, considerably
abashed.
, 20, Of course" Mr.. Wigglesworth
snarled, lay it all on me, Ed told va
20 jump through hoop I s'pose you'd
done it, Well he yelled as his arms
/ began to draw out of their sockets,
what We standing there all day on one
/ foot for? Think my arms are bamboo
/ fish poles with German silver points,
don't ye? Why don't We go set the
table il you're going to fore | stiffen
out here like a blamed old mummy and
! have to go into a private collection
under exhibit Az
Mrs. Wigglesworth got back as soon
/ as possible, but not before her hus-
/ bands arms had pulled out and he had
! dashed the paper on the floor and was
! stamping on it, Nothing relieves a
man like stamping, so when they had
arranged the table--a mahogany table
with a shiny top-beside the wall and
put the little hassock on top of it, Mr..
| WigglesWorth felt sufficiently moili-
fed to snip of another length Of the
Beardsley pattern and apply some more
paste to its posterior surface, main
tanning a steady current Of growing at
his wife on general principles.
Nov, don't be a fool this time" he
said, encouragingly, as they picked up
the paper and he laboriously climbed
TO the polished surface Of the table
with it. Thence he stepped cautiously
upon the hassock and stood there an
instant. his knees webbing painfully.
Cant you reach?' his wife called
from beloW. She was busy keeping
her part Of the paste away from the
/ mahogany table
J "Rcachr' echoed Mr.. Wigglesworth