Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-08-15

Sprinkles Of Spice.
It's the summer fly that bustles,
Till within the spiders gates.
And the spider never hustles,
But he gets there while he waits.
Truth.
"They say Cholly has more money
than brains" ''Then why don't you set
your cap for himT-Life.
Mrs. Peastraw-"How on earth did
you get yourself SO dirtyT johnnie
81 was in swimmin'."-Truth.
$50 your papa is willing to trust mo
with you, Is hep Eyes. He seemed
sure you'd fetch me back to him.
Life.
Shelves, am very fond Of pets"
He-"Indeed. What, may / ask, Is
your favorite ANIMAL" She (frankly)
-"Man."-Fashion Review.
Mack-"My wife made me a present
of $50 bill yesterday" Wyld-"You're
In luck" Mack-T don't think SO.
have to pay it"-Brooklyn Life.
Bachelor-'T am told that married
man can live on half the income that q
single man requires" Married man
Eyes. He has to."-New York Weekly.
Winks (who keeps house)-"We had
an old-fashioned potpie for dinner to-
day." Minks (who boards)-"We had
an old-fashioned chicken."-New York
Weekly.
Boy-T want to buy some paper"
Dealer-"What kind Of paperT II
guess you better give me fiy-paper. 1
want to make kite. "-Philadelphia
Record.
"Bingle's wife says she thinks heaven
must be something like Boston"
what does Bingle say" "He says he
Is tempted to become an agnostic."-
Washington Star.
"villainw she Missed, "Deep-dyed vii
lainw The tattooed man looked hurt.
"Indeed, ma'am," said he, II hasten to
assure you that it Is only skin deep
Indianapolis Journal.
The grocers grown so very cute
That, measuring out some plums,
He fills the vessel with the fruit
And counts in both his thumbs.
Chicago Record.
Wiggles-"What's the matter with
you, old man?" Waggles-"Oh, several
things" Wiggles-"Well, get engaged
to one Of them, and then let the rest
alone "-Someryille Journal.
Ellis-"Miss Ballad has remarka-
bly, sweet voice" Warburton-"She
ought to have; 1t has cost me about
sixty pounds Of chocolates In the last
six weeks."-Boston Courier.
Bolton-"What is the difference be-
tween a specialist and an ordinary
physician? Cotton =" you'll know
quick enough when the specialist sends
in his bill."-Somerville Journal.
Guest gushing them away from him)
Il don't like the way you cook eggs at
this restaurant. Waiter-Whats the
trouble, sir? Question: don't cook
them soon enough.-Chicago Tribune.
Clerk-That gentleman you sold a
bottle Of hair dye to three weeks age
was here again to-day. Druggist-Was
he after another bottle? "No, sir. He
| wanted to know If we kept wigs
Life.
Old lady Ito motorman on trolly carr
| -"Ain't you afraid Of the electricity
| Mr.. Motorman? Motorman = mo,
ma'am. / amt go no call to be afraid
amt q conductor" - Philadelphia
| Record.
"Well." said the camel in the circus
parade, there's some comfort for me
after all" "What do you mean" MY
hump Is pretty bad, but 1t might DC
worse. don't ride bicycle. wash
ington Star.
Guest (angrily)-What has become OF
that waiter gave my order to most an
hour ago? Head Waiter-I don't know
sab, but most likely he's waitin' on
some gent wot tipped him, sah.-New
York Weekly.
Bellefield-I understand that Mrs
| Spiffins claims to be a self-made WON
an. Bloomfield-It isn't quite true. My
wife has seen her add the finishing
touch-put on her complexion.-Pitts
burg Chronicle-Telegraph.
Hoax-That horse Of mine sets good
| example that some men would do well
| to follow. Joax-Why, the nag Is nc
good. He interferes. Hoax-That's
just 1t. He interferes, but only with
himself Philadelph Record.
Cobble-I don't think the landlord OF
the Ocean Bar House liked what said
to him before went in bathing. Stone
What was that? Cobble-I asked him
IL there were any other sharks around
-Harper's Bazaar.
Sally-An' after we are married, will
you keep on lovin' me? Rube-I'll love
| you till-till the cows come home, al
the Teller says. Sally-Y-a-a-s, an Their
go down to the grocery an let me do al
the milkin'.-Indianapolis Journal.
The reason none can understand,
But examples there are plenty
One pound is the weight of the fish yor
| land -N-
And the fish that escaped weighed