Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-08-29

6prinkles OF Spice.
Now doth the glad reporter write
Those interviews that burn
And boom each citizen he knows
For President In turn.
Washington Star.
He-The lamp Is going out She
Yes, 1t hasn't been filed since Jon
came.-Life.
There goes q man that keeps his
word" HE doesY Eyes; no one else
viii take t"-Phlladelphia Press.
He-You can't impose upon me; there
are no fools In our family. She--Sir,
you forget yourself.-New York Her
aid.
Sapphira-Truth Is stranger than fic-
ton. Ananias-Yes, but that 10 be-
cause we meet truth so rarely.-Brook-
Ign Eagle.
Candidate can't imagine what
caused my defeat. Friend-The cleo
ton Of your opponent. should say
Albany Journal.
Johnny-Is 1t true. pa, that people live
longer In the country than in the city,
Pa-Life seems longer there. my son.
Boston Transcript.
"Yes," papa sighed, ut costs lot
To clothe a summer lass;
But when the days are long and hot
save heap Of gas"
New York Recorder.
Edith-What! Mr.. Worth asked you
to be his wife? Everybody says he is
a woman hater. Kate--Yes, but 1 don't
seem to be the woman. Boston Tran
script
BERTHE D'Gote-When old Gold-bag
married Flo. why did she say that she
was only "a? Sylvia-Well. you see
she made discount for cash.-Sydney
Bulletin.
People are having the same trouble
they used to have. If their horse got
out of wind they had to walk; now it's
the same with the bicycle-Boston
Courier.
Tommy-Paw, what sort Of prices
are fabulous prices? Mr.. Figg-Well,
actors salaries as published In the pa
pers are usually that kind.-Indianap-
oils Journal
The acrobat Is paradox,
His life is both high and humble;
He may be unable to see a joke,
But no one Is quicker to tumble.
Boston Budget.
Physician-And you have felt this
way for several days? HIN Let me see
your tongue. Patient-It's no use, doc
tor; no tongue can tell how I suffer-
Boston Transcript.
Bumpus-Say, McSmith, am &C
| quainted with the president of this
road. McSmith-Oh, that's nothing:
am acquainted with the porter Of
this train.-Brooklyn Eagle.
Little Dick-Miss Mamie is awfully
shy, isn't she? Little Dot-Why? Lit
tie Dick-She has most of her clothes
made just like mems, so men won't get
| in love with her.-The Sketch.
In gallantry the youth again
| Responds to beauty's call,
And goes away on picnics when
He'd rather play baseball.
Washington Star.
"weIi, my dear, what did you do at
the sewing circle to-dayY "Oh, nothing
much. We tore up a few regulations
and sowed a few seeds of dlscord In
the congregation. "-Harpers Bazaar.
Jamie" sharply called out his moth.
er, you've been loafing all day. Satan
always finds some work for Idle hands
to do. Take this basket and bring in
some kindlings. "-Chicago Tribune.
| Amateur Artist should like to pre-
sent the last picture painted to some
charitable institution. Now, which
would you recommend? Cruel Lady
Friend-The blind asylum.--New York
Journal.
| ut seems to me-" groaned the SUI
ferer, apostrophizing the reflection Of
| his aching tooth in the looking-glass
"that for as small a customer as you
are you have lots Of nerve."-Chicag0
| Tribune.
"What's thatT asked the public off,
cial as the package was handed him.
IAN Internal machineY EYES," replied
the clerk. chats exactly what 1t il.
Somebody has presented you with one
of those fountain pens. "-Washington
Star. as slst
"It seems to me-" said the manager,
"that you do that part of receiving the
money from the chief villain In most
awkward manner" "Mebbe do" ad-
mitted the actor; at has been so long
since had any chance to rehearse with
the real stuff."-Cincinnat Tribune.
As they passed an open gateway q
dog within the enclosure growled and
bristled up very perceptibly, where
upon Jester remarked: mo doubt about
his being Watchdog" SLOW. can you
[tellY" inquired Quester. 'why," re-
turned Jester, didn't you see the hair
spring ?"-Richmond Dispatch.
This budding craze for bicycles
The whole broad country feels;
And soon the horse thief way out
West
VIII take to stealing wheels.
Philadelphia Record.
Johuny-But my teacher says so, and
I guess he knows. Uncle Reuben-I
don't know about that A man what's
all the time givin' away knowledge to
other people can't have much left for
himself. I'd rather trust to man who
isn't all the time partin' with what he
knows.-Boston Transcript.
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