The Portland daily press., 1895-11-16
THE UNNAMED WHEEL.
Junius Henri Browne Finds 1t Malig-
nans Thing Before 1t Is Mastered.

louS creature In this period OF universal
wheelinQ-sees hundreds of mounted per-
sons spinning past him daily, it must ap-
pear to him that cycling Is spontaneous.
It does not occur to him that many Of the
riders have become proficient only after
weeks of effort and any number OF dis
couragements. 1t had always seemed as II
it would be very hard for one to learn, and
that it proved so reoited In an article
published last summer. But my expert
ence in trying to overcome the wheel
among the White mountains during the
past season I have not detailed. LII is SO
grotesque, so ridiculous that many 10
whom cycling came naturally may De en-
tertained and others to whom 1t comes
hard may be induced to persevere by read
ing Of it.
In the neighborhood where was there
are scarcely two square feet Of soil on the
same level When I went there, l had
taken some lessons In an academy IN
town, enabling1n to make the circuit OF
the hall several times in succession. The
place was most unpromising for novice,
and I had taken an old, heavy, decrep1t
wheel there conscious that should have
| rough work, and that it migN serve me,
an inapt neophyte, nearly as we'll as q
better machine.
Mounting with assistance the crazy BIZ
cycle, could not move the pedals a whit.
The uneven surface held the wheel fast. !
could scarcely Believe that had propelled
1t, few weeks previous, on a smooth
| floor, which, I perceived, was altogether
different. Then I was pushed along and
held up, as at the very beginning. Almost
as soon as the hold was released over
went and the machAe on top Of me- The
attempt was made repeatedly with the
same result. To have seen my awkward
ness, my inadaptibility, one would have
sworn that had never laid eyes, much
less put body, on a wheel began to doubt
that had ever taken lesson. My actual
| ly going round alone In hall must have
been dream. tried and tried and tried
in the country tumbled and tumbled
and tumbled. I could only go, like dumb
watch, when was carried. But deter
mined to persevere SO long as the bicycle
and myself should hold together-longer,
indeed If the bicycle should break, l
would get it mended. II my bones should
be fractured, I would have them set and
continue my clumsy practice. Nothing
save the dislooation of my neck should in
terfere with my obstinate purpose.
After some days of uninterrupted fail
ure I resolved to depend wholly on my
self I was inexpressibly chagrined and
mortified at my slow progress. Icalled my
self an ass, dolt double distilled idiot.
I firmly believed myself to be the one
| American out Of the So, 600, 900 or more
of the republics population that could
not learn to ride. Liberal allowance should
have been made, / suppose, for the hilly,
rough, sandy, unequal soil and the fact
that I was simple tyro wholly apart
| from the circumstance that cycling was
! plainly not my vocation. / grew morbid,
| disordered, monomaniacal. l saw the
world through the spokes of the wheel. !
regarded the springs of human action as
closely connected with the handle bars
| If had ever been vain, hopeful, egotis-
| tic, confident, was no longer so. / was
reduced, fancied, to the lowest terms Of
| abjeot self depreciation. thought,
| breathed, throbbed, talked bicycle. The
bicycle pursued, worried, tortured me. l
lost my appetite, my capacity for sleep,
never particularly good. I ran down In
flesh below what I had weighed for 30
years. Still my physical health, which has
| never been affected, was excellent, what
| ever might be said of my mental health.
| My wrath at myself declined by degrees
1 began to be satirical, sarcastic, at my
own expense. 1 perpetrated hundred
| mordant jokes an hour on my laundering,
| nonbicycling self. But, as the person
| satirized did not seem to mind it, speed
lily gave it up,
| The old machine played various tricks
on me. 1t was very malicious too. 1t
took advantage of my lack of skill apd ex-
perienoe. The chain would slip of, the
tire would slip off, likewise; the handles
would get twisted; the pedals would get
bent by sharp collisions with the earth.
was thrown in every variety Of manner
forward, backward, sidewise. One time,
the handle bars would strike me; at an
other, the pedals; at another, the forward
wheel. would fall, sometimes, every
minute or two. was bruised (uot really
hurt) from hip to heel. My legs and
thighs were covered with yellow, blue,
purple and black spots, as found on pre-
pairing for the morning bath. looked as
if had been tattooed by highly accom-
pllshed Polynesian artist.
| One morning I transferred the wheel
from very rough lane (the DEVILS trap,
I called it) where commonly took my
punishment to an open country road.
had improved by that time and yet was
| o'OA oAo pAoyoAO-Ao WoAAS ~--oo
ditch-head foremost against tree and
rendered insensible for two minutes. My
face and head we're cut or scratched, not
badly, but enough to require my lying BY
a few days for repairs. As soon as the
wounds healed, resumed my violent ex-
ercise, with fresh frenzy for the sport.
| My exercise continued from half an hour
to an hour daily, under the summer sun,
on the rocky slopes and being continuous
and excessive naturally drenohed me In
perspiration. Frequently I was almost
brcathless and my heart thumped so Of
| times as to insure the conviction that 1T
must be entirely sound. But was never
fatigued, the brief sense Of tiredness
| passing as soon as the exertion ceased.
never rested after bout with the maS'
chine, but changed my clothes throughout
and turned once more to reading orwrit-
| ing. While I seemed to gain nothing from
day to day, could readily perceive the ad-
vance made from week to week. Never
| theless had heard SO much of men, mid
die aged even quite old, learning very
y hot o6