Evening journal., 1895-09-03
Captain sam Is Desponaent.


Captain Samuel Harkins, Of the Puritan
Baseball Club, an aggregation Of VII
mington juvenile wonders, is sad and
disconsolate. IL has been a slow and un
profitable Summer to him and the lapse
Of time but adds TO his wretchedness aud
general dlsconient with everything
worldly. He wears knickerbocker trousers
and pensive look with the grace Of a
wrath Of some new woman who has
exchanged terrestrial bloooers for those
Of more celestial cut Pedestrians who
pass mp aud doWu Market street are un
consciously attracted BY this uuususl
and deplorable condition OF Judge Ball rs
office boy.
The ball owned by the club Is green
with mildew the bats so new and glossy
6t the beginning OF the season are now
lack lustre and perforated With worm.
holes, the result Of the activity OF the
little borers while the heavy we,plns
Of the Puritan Baseball Club we're ia a
state Of innocuous desuetude
The club began the season with the
bii lhtest of prospects Captain Harkias
issu q sweeping manifesto written on
one Of Judge Balls letterhsads. IL
challenged any litter of fourteen-year old
baseball pups in the universe to cross
bats with the Plymouth Rock bantams o {
the Seventh ward In addition TO Offering
unusual inducements In the matter Of
percentages Of gate receipts, the captain
promises all visitors police prote stion,
exemption from oil authority vested In
the Municipal Court, and suspension II
{ he babeas corpus law In all cases where
violation Of the laws Of hospitality
occurred aud the visitors fell victims to
the rooters who frequent the bleechers
on the grounds Of the P0ritsn Club in the
Seventh ward.
The frst acceptance Of these extraol
dinary Inducements offered by the
Purltan's plenipotentiary was by the
Shemrocks. Captain Sam ohuckled
! gleefully and smiled his most sardonic
smile Tbs fateful day came. The
Shamrocks wilted aud died beneath the
fire OF Captsin Sans battery aud bis
uaquifcent suit Of hair The score was
,425 TO / 326 runs in favor Of the
Puritans Captain Sam swelled up Co
such proportions that .he Shamrocks
claimed the game on the grouud that
Captain Sam was a man Ia disguise. but
he settled the matter by allowing himself
TO shrink to bis natural proportions
The new America Club Of Newark
was the next TO take cognizance OF the
manifesto It made all arrangements to
fan beneath the bats OF the Philistints.
but three minutes before the train left
Newark Centre station the mother Of
the boys who acted as pitcher and
catcher for the New America Club
walked IN and told them that size was
clear out OF wood and that they must go
home Immediately and saw and split
some. Having no battery In ieserve the
club had to submit Captain Sam and
his warriors waited and waited but their
victims did not come. When the true
reason Of the failure OF the Newark
team came over the wire Captain Sam
ground his teeth in impotent rage and
hissed; "DsnawomanandWo dWoodhossand
sswanyway Foaming at tho mouth be
was led from the grounds. amid the
plaudlts OF the assembled multitude.
Since then days have been dark Ia the
land Of the Puritans. The Senator
Juniors received a special invitation to
spend the afternoon with Captain Sam
ana his friends but the only response
WAS 8 shudder accompanied by nervous
Pre- stration.
Then Captain Sam grew melancholy.
AS the season advances his depression
increases. He Is constantly on the front