The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1895-03-05
"ruE POLITICIAN
tReaponce hy FinIey E. Fogg.l

/ a modern man OF Drains mas SAID :
"A good politician, 10 keep his position,
must be magician in arts that are
vain; must eat and be merry with
Tom, Dick and Harry, with Mollie
and Carrie and Susan and Jane.
Must fondle and pamper their chill
dren that scamper, love their grand
ma and grandpa and cousins and
aants; love old Aunt Marian, and
Uncle Beniah and good Aunt Kesiah
that patches the pants. With the
wisdom of Pallas, must go with one
'galus, on his hand big callous,
hayseed in the hair; and with fierce
ness primeval, swear death to the
weevil, the later bug evil, the canker
worm scare. AT fairs and horse
ra 'es he must show of his PAGES, his
rhetorical graces, to heifers and
shoats, rouse the people and stir'em,
make tyranny squirrum, while South
downs and Durham bray loud with
the goats" And this is a comprehen-
sive enumeration of the requisite
qualities of this important factor in
our body polite.
The politicianl There is no limit
to the variety of his resources; there
can be no end to the diversity of his
accomplishments. He is the exem-
plification of all that is good, bad and
Indifferent the embodiment of all
that is virtuous and all that Is vicious
The pride of every model and the
perfection OF every art.
His greatness is circumscribed to no
particular cline or class he permeates
every strata of society, and is equally
at home with all he is "of the people,
buy(?) the people and for the people,
AS, with thoughtful mien and meas
ured tread, he saunters down the
throughfares Of our cities, clad in the
consciousness of his own well-earned
importance, with his checked trousers,
patent feathers, tan gloves, aggressive
neck cloth, diamond stud and other
Establishments, bowling sometimes
here and sometimes there, the Ward
McAllister OF the BOwery -Four Hum
dred," "a thing of beauty a joy for
ever" he exhibits in one associated
glow of manly beauty, all the graCes
requisite in any circle from Tenth
ward ratification to a National Con-
ventiOn-frOm cake walk TO the
Presidents Ball.
When at Country Fair we behold
him, with the COurtly elegenCe of a
Chesterfield, do homage at the shrine
of the freckled siren who exhibited
the latest "gob" of butter, and grasp
with grip that ensures sincerity the
hand of the jubilant swain who"fetch-
ed"the biggist pumpkin, "slapping the
boys on the shoulder, patting the
children on the head, hObnobbing
with the graY-haired Squire, paying
his respects to the good lady-we
marvel at the fecnndity of his re-
sources, and admire the sterling quail
ity of his gall"
In the home of his constituent, a.
he adapts himself to the most trying
circumstances, and puts the good
spouse at her ease with an abundance
OF fattery that makes "een her fail
ings lean to virtues side;" as before
the wondering eyes and watering
mouth Of her youngest squalling
pledge of connubial love he juggles d
red and white stick of candy with the
unerring skill of a drum majOr; as
with "heavenly gift of prophecy"
with which he alone has been endow-
ed, he gazes into the grinning cOunte-
nance of little "ThOmas William"
(the "picture of his Pa" and through
dirt veneering as impregnable as
the Notifications of Pekin, traces the
unfaiing evidences of future spent
in the service of his country, a place
in the Senate, aye the Presidency
itself-we are forced to the conviction
that "in the essential vestures of crea-
ton" he doth "bear all excellence"
When we observe him swap French
kisses with a cross eyed girl baby,
who hath tendency to slobber on
her bib, with as much relish as
though he 'sipped the sweet nectar
from the ruby lips" of Venus, we
know that he is credit to his nation,
and without parallel.
But it is not until seated at the
board of glizzlied high priest of the
Farmers Alliance-that Moses who is
to leadu out of the wilderness of
poverty and labor into the land with