Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1895-05-19
MOTHER IN SOCIETY.
MRS. BURTON HARRISON TELLS
WHAT A CHAPERON SHOULD BE.
The Afternoon of woman's Life-A
Mothers Social Dutics-intro-
ducisg n Daughter Into Society
The Choice Of n Husband.


There 10 time IN the busy mother
life when. her first series Of duties to her
children over, her daughters grown, ner
sons safely launched into school or col
leee. she naturally turns with satisfaction
and relief 20 the prospect OF "a little
folding OF the hands In the beginning
OF the afternoon OF her days Al TINS
epoch no attraction OF outside society
seems 70 the thoughtful woman 10 we
with that OF the home-nook In company
with her husband, from whom the ex-
irencies of bringing up their children
have in a great measure separator "e''
The quiet drawing room or library upon
which has settled, with years OF occu-
pancy. that most charming aspect Oh
daily use by cultivated people, allures
her as can no ballroom, with It's decora-
lions Of an hour, It's parquet fioor' us
uncomfortable seats. Its allowance oi
meagre gossip around the walls WIN
other waiting sufferers. Yet TINS Is what
nv the edict of an artificial age, she 10
compelled to accept as penalty TOT lnIo ,
ducing daughters into society, ana night
after night during the fashionable sedsvh
she goes YEARLY on her rouhus III 80
train OF the pleasure-seeking young pei
son. who. when the race alter say0y
has once begun, knows no sucn ~ 80
nunberIess mothers whose sense oil duty
Ieads them 10 appear always IN puDhC
u,itb their daughters. Viewed from an
outside standpoint 1t can seem heilner
right nor rational.
ALMOST PATHETIC.
Sometimes II is the father who under
,aLes the charge of his debutante IN heI
frat season. Almost pathetic Is the aspyS'
~ these tired elders standing arounu w
doors Of dancing rooms. swallowing thelr
vowns unconsoled even by the supper
which by many men OF middle Ire -
eschewed as dangerous TO dlgesuoI anu
likely TO impair what little is leit Oh tIeiI
ability to deal intelligenty WIN tneu
affairs Of business the next uay, nv
vet there is no help for 1t or then' me
Young lady. to be considered in good
form. must have her own especial chape-
ron To avoid this wholesale sacrlnce
Of parents, what can be doneE Ihere Is
no question Of reconstructing the laws
of society upon this point. what we
Americans have only Of late years adopt
ed has been an ironclad rule OF oider
civilizations for generations past
n
vanced intelligence when lately visiting
this country with his family. declined
TO allow his young daughter to join
dinner of young people at the house or
a near relative, at which the lady giving
the entertainment to her daughter was,
OF course, to be present. When urged
by his American relatives for an expia-
nation, he sad: 81 could never think OF
permitting my daughter to sit at table
next a young man. In party Oh uh-
married people at which l or her mother
was not present" But, why, why?'
urged the Americans. I'm our eyes II
would give the young man virtual permits
sion TO say anything he pleased TO her,
said the Frenchman, gravely. Then,
thank God, we are not in France, and II
is quite clear you don't know American
young men," retorted his questioner.
THAT may be- dear lady," was his an
swer But, / assure you, that were my
daughter to do what you suggest and II
were known at home it would be Sc
rious matter for her in the future"
NAIVE TESTIMONY.
As an example OF widely differing Gus
toms, upon the same scale OF humanity
in modern days may cite the naive tes-
timopy of young American. girl from
western city, given recently in an as
StHUidEt VI lOitlSilflH dbibHAs tiuI'
rons at balls? l should think we didn't
have any! Why. IL the young men didn't
come for us in hacks and take US and
bring us home again, how do you think
we would get there?' This speech, al
though in matter a bombshell in the
ranks was uttered with perfect sinceri-
ty, and was accompanied with the blush
Of innocence startled by the passing
suggestion of a thing improper that car
r..N.N
II is fair to say that made in New
York, or Boston, or Washington, at
Newport, Lenox, Jr Tuxedo. the an
nouncement would have much the same
effect. Society. once cOnventionaliZed.
is not easily Invested of its veneer; and,
although recently so, we are well-coated
with this prejudice In favor Of chape-
rones. So much for the commonly
received aspect Of the question suggested
to me to touch upon. In the society
of large cities and Of summer resorts
the mother should go with her daughter
everywhere I'm public. and should exer-
else a constant supervision over her re-
lations sith the other sex at home and In
society. While 1t is permitted to young
girl to receive the visit Of a male friend
In the afternoon, and TO walk with him
upon the streets or in the park. Ii is al
ways understood that her mother has
given her permission 10 DO so, or mas
otherwise sanctioned the cOmpaniOnship.
on the other hand, 1t is the mother who
must write the notes Of invitation 10
young men to dinner or TO the opera,
who receives them upon arrival at her
house, TO whom they extend the first
courtesies OF every occasion when they
desire to seek out the daughter. Surely
this is small tribute TO pay TO the dig
nifty Of her position and TO the magni-
tude of her self-sacrihce. II is all well
enough to say that the mother renews
her youth in her daughters gayeties and
conquests. but the chief part Of the ser
vice thus exacted of her is a fatiguing
one TO her body, and there must be mo-
ments when the mind of the most plant
chaperon becomes stated with the chit
chat of young society. The people falling
to her lot with whom to while away the
hours of duty are fathers and mothers
themselves yearning for the hour of re-
lease to come, and, at 3 A. NJ, while a
cotillon is still in progress. their company
can hardly be called exhllarating.
SOMEWHAT MODIFIED.
1t must be admitted that as our society
grows at its present rate of speed, every
season adding new and desirable families
10 the list of people TO be invited. the
exaction that mothers shall accompany
their daughters TO evening parties In
private houses has been perceptibly modi-
houses IS responsible for this. A leader
in lavish entertaining in New York OBJ
served recently: my ballroom is Of