The morning times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1897, 1895-10-06
JUST A COMEDY OF ERRORS
Society People Announced as Aft
anced to the Wfdng Individuals.
Army Post Romahce In New York
witha DivorceSequelt In Washing
ton-An Epid4hi1c of weddings.


by the press. First came the news that Miss
Lucille Blackburn would wed Mr.. Edward
Lane, an awkward misstatement. for Mr.
Edward Lane is resident of the n oru,andie,
where Miss Blackburn made herhoEie, while
her fiance was Mr. Thomas Francis Lane,
of New jersey.
Second-Mr Edward Plaza, second secre-
tary of the Mexican legation, and a general
favorite, was made aware through the
social columns that his engagement to Mis'
Rogers, of Pittsburg, had been promptly and
enpha tically denied by Mrs. Rogers and her
daughter. Lately it transpired that there
| are two Mesdanies Rogers in Pittsbgrg. that
each is a widow, and that each has lovely
young daughter Explanations would be
superf1uous This COMEDY OF errors has
produced no little comment and Some con-
sternation.
| Two or three are gathered together
socially speaking if returns for the season
| are slow, and every group is confiding to
| every other busy Knot OF Chatterers the
| latest news.
Quite a choice, sketchy bit of gossip
which occa siOns regrctful sort of aDiuse-
| nlent. the brightest high lights OF fun being
dimmed by mild .pathOs. is served from
certain army post not thousand miles
from New York.
There was lover and his lass is, OF
| course, the refrain that Madame Rumor
Is softly humming.. Such a pretty little
maid, with beauty. grace, gentleDess, and
modesty, the daughter of an army officer
well known here, and fine young fellow
in the service, who is sowing iis wild oats
at the rate of sixty miles a minute. They
| met and Ioyed-naturally enough The
wedding was postponed by disappearing
parents-also naturally enough.
The fair one and her devoted talked it
over with tears, and he finally put the stua-
ton to her in such convincing fashion that
I to qnote her own words ''she felt so sorry
~ him, she just consented" and was
welded. At the conclusion of the cere-
moDy they returned to their future home
and with many loving farewells, he left
her on the piazza, and went off TO break
tile news to Mamma"
On the way to accomplish his mission.
with bounding step and bright eyes. the
newly made Benedict encountered num-
Der Of brother Officers. and impaired TO
them the glad tidings of his marriage.
Congratulations were in order-and drinks.
They wined Ito the iIleanh of the groom"
to the health of The bride"-"to the
health of the happy pair" 10 ''long life
and rapid promotion OF the groom"-to
LONG life and conteIHnient to the bride"
The father of the groom was then toasted
the mother of the groom-the father of the
bride-the mother OF the bride-the fatheI
of the father of the groom-the father Of
the father of the bride-and so on. after
the fashion of that popular ballad con
corning the various relationship of ttf.
Wild Man of BoFueo.'i This conyiviai
gathering was kept up until an early hour
next morning, ceasing only when Tie
mutual cash and credit had been exhausted.
Meantime the fair, good. silly little
bride, weary of waiting. had sent for her
dear mamma. confessed. aud wildly de-
plored what papa 'gpnid say on his return
to the post. With uncertain step. but
highly delighted withshis cordial compan-
ions, the happy, Syonng soldier faitered
honieward. Reaching the doorway he was
promptly met by brace OF bulky revolvers
poised on a level with his eyes, and field
by the steady hands of his newly acquired
mother-in-law, who. in stern, unrelcnting
tones. forbade him the house
The Young woman is now in Washington,
the guest of friends and, it is said, divorce
I proceedings Will at once be begun.
Poor, pretty, little girl,
Every man." it has been said, '.has his
price"
What womankind will pay to acquire
him is daily demonstrated by international
marriages. The latest development in
statistics, however, Is the price the new
woman will pay to get rid of him.
l. Last week a car went out from Wash
ington, crowded with excursionists of
the gentler sex on their way to the Mime
apolis Episcopal convention. Every berth
had been taken bit two, and the perfidious
conductor had sworn solemnIy-only to allow
possession of those to women. Hardly had
the train gone q hundred miles on its way,
when two masculine invaders entered ana
presented their tickets. There was wild
excitement, and such unreasonable terms
as traitor" and ''dissembler' from these
fair monopolists were applied to the con-
ductor.
Seeing by sidelong and whitening glances
that he was most unwelcome, man No.
withdrew, but No. 2 was less complaisant
and more tenacious of his rights He dis
regarded the whispers, the kissing com
ments, the swish OF petticoatS Indignantly
flouncing about the aisle, frowningly ar
ranged his various bags and books, un-
folded his newspapers, and prepared to
make long and comfortable journey.
The miserable conductor was meanwhile
surrounded by a weildressed mob who
persistently demanded that the intruder
be elected. Approaching the rightful
owner of the berth, who showed his temper
in the most pronounced manner, the trem-'
bling official with diplomatic conversa-
tional skin, and submitting patiently to
many insults, persuaded him to remove to
a rear car.
Following his withdrawal a mass meet
ing was held and it was resolved that the
two berths must be bought to insure ''Uur
having it all to ourselves"
A stern hooking lady, from Boston, who
it was whispered .'bad lots of money! i'm
Ilediately purchased No. 10. while the other
women, who were all from Washington,
Clipped in eighteen cents each, and secured
No. z.
The new woman of this city, 1t thus
appears by figures is willing to pay as much
as eighteen cents to be rid of masculine
society.
A few "Dont's" to those benevolent souls
who are about to interest themselves in
musical entertainments for charity this
season:
Don't select luliabies, dirges, ornaments,
vocal, instrumental OF reeitative.
"Dont's include the tremulous and feeble
soprano who sings as if she had only Just
swallowed a fluttering English sparrow.
Don't engage the volunteered services
of the basso genius who would have
splendid voice if it was cultivated"
"Don't'' intrust numbers to the contralto
whose reverberative tones seem to have
been brought to present perfection by in
struction in territory where earthquakes
are matters of almost daily occurrence.
"Don't' allow the lamps to glare all I'M
shaded in the tired eyes of the drowsy
audience, astissue paper is cheap and young
women are alwaysready to prettify things.
DON'T allow small boys to hover about
the doors playing pranks during the per-
Torrance.
Light, bright music, humorous or senti-
mental Rotations with an occasional del
.cateiy sad melody, OF bit of verse for
shadow, will not be amiss, but DON'T be
and 1trcf1 r1a.<J