The Windham County reformer. (Battleboro, Vt.) 1876-1897, 1895-08-16
,,LIMPsEs OF LIFE.

The author OF the play ooesh
the way you acted the part OF hosoi
msl,o. - remarked one amateur 10 an
other. o.,
"What was the matterF' ,. y,
"He says you were regular stick.
"Well," replied the subject OF cru
cism, thoughtfully, you know h G.an
usko was n Pole. - Washington STAR
Great Memory.
Schoolmarm, who had been telling
the story of David, ended it with;
"And all this happened over three
thousand years ago. mia
A little cberub, his blue eyes wlde
open with wonder, said, after mo- no.
|ment. "Oh, my, what memory
you've got! ".-(San Antonio hSpress'
You will find a box of Ayers Pills an
|excelIent travelling companion. FOR
|costiyeness, Indigestion, sick headache,
and nausea. they are prompt, safe, and
|ef,icacious. Taken in season, they may
nreyent serious illness and veXations'
delay and disappointment. ADV
His Applause Well Put.
Friend lat "A French play why ana
YOU applaud so vigorously when that
comedian made his speech before the
curtain! C. I'm,
Spriggins (confdentially)-So folks
would think | understood. what ana
Ihe say? r.
Friend-He said the remainder OF
Ibis part must be taken 10y an unuer
study, as he felt very i'll. -(Tit-Bits.
Only In an Emergency.
Pupson Pownes- say, old chap, do
YOU think it the proper caper to bow TO
lyour tailor on the street?
Upson Downcs-Why, yes; if you
haven't time to cross over to the other
lsidc.
Guess Again.
Eth Il Knox Why are you like my
piano lamp?
Staylate- Because | shine in your
drawing room?
Ethel Knox You are turned down,
but you don't go out.
Dandrutf forms when the glands OF
the skin are weakened, and if neglect
ed badness is sure to follow. Hall g
Hair Remover is the best preventive.
Realized II.
Mrs. Peck didn't do the counting :
you were crazy to marry me.
Henry Peck i was gibbering idiot.
Hoax-"That horse of mine sets a
good example that some men would do
we'll to follow.
Joax Why, the nag is no good. lie
Iinterferes
Hoax THAT'S just it. He interferes
but only with himself - Philadelphia
Record
Agricultural Note.
Amy Belle Don't you think she
has cultivated voice.
Sue Sharp Yes; it certainly is
narrowing. y Puct.
Horrible Thought.
First New Woman It's no use,
Susan: we will have 10 give up. 1t is
impossible for us to take man Is place.
Second New Woman -Whyf
r. n. W. Think of being a priest
and having a horrid man confess to
Iyou.
Kenneth Bazemore had the good for
tune to receive a small bottle Of Cham
Iberlain's Collie. Cholera and Diarrhpa
Remedy when three members of his
family were sick with dysentery. This
lone small bottle cured them all and he
Ihad some left which he gave to Geo.
Nv. Baker, prominent merchant OF
Icured him of the same complaint
when troubled with dysentery, diar
Irbra, collie or cholera morbus, give
this remedy trial and you will he
Imore than pleased with the result. The
praise that naturally follows its intro
Iduction and use has made it very popu-
lar. - and 30 cent bottles for sale by
IF. r. Durgin, Druggist. adv.
Result OF Fits.
Missionary What brought you to
this place, my poor friend?''
Convict Fits, sir. -
Missionary -"Fits?i
Il Convict Yes, sir; fits of abstrac
ton. y Halloa.
Mrs. Tupenny-"'D you know that
the Uppertens have IA family skeleton?'
Mr.. Tupenny-" yes She's out
there on the beach now. y Louisville
Courier journal.
Cruel Punishment
Mother My dear, on opening our
daughters prayer book during the ser
mon this morning, | found .she had a
French novel concealed in it. What
shall | do to punish her?
Father tsternly The next time that
same rector breaches take it away from
her and pass it along.
On the Hotel Piazza.
MANI tell you, nothing succeeds
like failure.
Dan-Nonsense you mean ''suc-
lcess. -
Mann-Not a bit of it. There's a
man who has failed nine times, in
twelve years and now he's a million
, Iaire.
, Nv boy was taken with disease
resembling bloody flux. The first thing
| thought of was Chamberlain Collie,
Cholera and Diarrhpa Remedy. Two
| doses of it settled the matter and cured
him sound and well. Heartily recon-
| mend this remedy to all persons suffer
ing from like complaint. Twill an
swer any inquiries regarding it when
stamp is enclosed. refer to any
T county official as to my reliability. -
VIM. Roach, j. p, Primroy, Camp
bell Co., Tenn. For sale by F. h.
Durgin, Druggist. -adv.
A young lady visiting Cape Cod was
plying her way to neighboring town
on her bicycle. Being one of the NEW
women" she wore boomers Not be.
2 ing familiar with the road she inquired
of an old Codite who drove by perched
: on load of hay, "Is this the way tc
I Wareham?'' Critically cycling her the
farmer responded: "Dumbed if know
but sh'd think ye'd got 'em on hind
! side afore." Exit maid with red lights
I on her cheeks. ( Winchendon Cour.
e Ter.
! Mrs. Rulem-Your husband is still as
l devoted as lover. l don't see how
you manage.
Mrs. Kissum-It's very simple. Wher