Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1895-05-01
atausiae Gatherings.

else.
g9 No money can buy so much as
the dollar that has been honestly
earned.
Egn Do. not lose faith in mankind.
He who doubts everybodyis himself to
be doubted.
sa% Man is a good deal like fish.
You know the fish would never get
into very serious trouble if it kept its
mouth shut.
sB When you go in to collect bill,
the man at the counter is less apt to
INQUIRE about the health of your fami-
ly than when you 60 in to pay one.
sdg English is fast becoming the po-
lite tongue of Europe. Mullhall claims
the number using the English Ian
guage in 1893 at over III, 100000.
sdr The wretch who can stand in a
pair of slippers worked for him by his
wife, and scold her, is brute, who de-
serves to have the gout in both feet.
e9 A health journal says you ought
to take three-quarters of an hour for
dinner. tits we'll also, perhaps, to add
a few vegetables and a piece of meat.
s9 An immense plate-glass trust has
been formed in our country for the pur-
pose of controlling the manufacture
and maintaining the price of that
product.
R9 1t is easier to forgive everybody
in general for everything they have
done against us in lump, than to for
give one man in particular for talking
about us yesterday.
s9 The lady arrived little late at
the sewing circle. Servant-Excuse.
me, madam; but I'd advise you to
wait a few minutes. Just now they
are talking about you.
sB He-What do you think Of Py-
thagoras's doctrine that man may
become a brute after his death l?
She-After his death? Plenty of men
do that few months after marriage.
s9 The man who is careless about
keeping his engagements with men,
cannot be depended on to keep his en-
gagements with God, however pious
he may claim to be.
s1 Teacher-What is the difference
between industry and luck? Boy
One door. "Hump! How do you ex-
plain that?" "Industry is what you
has yourself. Luck is what your
neighbor has,"
B4- "These are hard times !" sighed
the young collector of bills. "Every
place I went to today was requested
to call again, except one, and that was
where 1 dropped in to see my sweet
heart"
g9. What is said to be the first book
made of ground wood paper was placed
in the Berlin testing Office for examina-
ton recently. 1t is said to be in good
condition despite the fact that it was
printed in 1852.
s9 MARY" said the sick man to his
wife when the doctor had pronounced
it a case of smallpox, "If any of my
creditors call, tell them I am at least
in a condition to give them some
thing"
g9r Little Ethel (horrifed) We've
invited too many children to our tea
party. There isn't enough for them to
get more'n a bite each. Little Dot
(resignedly)-That's too bad, we will
have to call it a reception.
Ba Ladies who kiss their pet dogs
are warned by no less authority than
Dr.. Megnin, of the Paris Academy of
Science, that the little beasts are one Of
the greatest agencies in spreading dis
ease, especially consumption.
pa "Papa," said little boy, "ought
the teacher to whip me for what 1 did
not know" "Certainly not, my boy"
replied the father. "Well," replied
the little fellow, "he did today when I
1 didn't know my sum-"
B1 Father-Yes, I admit your lover
has good income; but he has very
expensive tastes, very. Daughter
You amaze me; what does he want
that is so very expensive? Father
Well, you, for one thing.
B@ Squabbles, an old bachelor, shows
his stockings, which he has just darned,
TO a maiden lady, who contemptuously
remarks, "Pretty good for man darn
er." Whereupon Squabbles rejoins,
"Good enough for a woman, darn her,"
pa Studious Boy-What is the mean
ing of market value" and ''intrinsic
value?" Father-The market value"
is the price you pay for a thing; Gin
trinsic valne" is what you get when
you sell it to secondhand dealer.
s9 "Oh, my friends, there are some
spectacles that person never forgets," !"
said a lecturer, after a graphic descrip-
ton of terrible accident. "I'd like
to know where they sells 'em," re-
marked an old lady in the audience.
B9 Johnny Smart-Is there any diff
ference between a duel and a fight {?
Old Smart-Yes, indeed. A duel is
between two people. When your
mother and I have an argument it's a
duel. When your grandma sails into
the controversy it's fight.
pSFo Tho volume of water that flows