River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-06-27
PITH AND POINT.

Id is meet that noble minds keep
ever with their likes; fer who so firm
that can not be seduced. Shakespeare.
Prayers are sometimes made in
church that the devil would be willing
TO take off his coat and help answer
Rams Horn.
MARY, how was il | saw you treat
ing your friends to my cake and fruit?"
Mary can't tell, ma am. for the loife
of me, for I'm shure | covered the key
hole. "-Chicago Tribune.
"A contemporary contains an adver-
tisement of dog for sale. Among the
good points of the animal are these:
''He will eat ANYTHING, and is very fond
of children. Household Words.
-Guest-.I would like a nice round
steak, rare done, and some fresh fried
potatoes" Waiter lin stentorian voice.
Carnage in the skillet! Fried Pin
grees ON the sider"-Chicago Tribune.
His Rule.-"Yes,' said Rev. DIR.
Goodman, Il always endeavor to write
my sermons so that they can be I'M
derstood and appreciated by even the
dullest intellect. Before delivering
lUSI III puUllc 4 luNdFldblN TSCllc luCul
to myself. N. Y. Herald.
Sure Enough. man VIII o sent
five dollars last week in answer an adj
vertisement promising to tell how to
make one dollar go as far as five, got
his answer yesterday. 1t was a small
red card on which was neatly printed:
mail both to San Francisco. "-Somer
vile Journal.
-Wooing Time. -Weazer-'I lost a
lot of time counting my wife" Beazer
How was that?' Weazer-"Well,
monkeyed around about year before
| popped, and then found out | could
have had her about the second week
after we got acquainted. "-Philadel-
phia Inquirer.
"A Grateful Citizen.-Citizen Ito
country editorl-''That was a very
handsome notice you gave me in this
weeks paper, Shears, and called in
to-" Country Editor-''Er-to sub
scribe for year?" Citizen Mo, to
see if you had an old copy lying about
anywhere. "-Siftings.
Papa" said Jennie, climbing
upon her fathers knee. don't you
think that stead o. ten cents a week
you could give me ffteen?" well.
don't know, my dear" was the an
swer. What do you want of the ex-
ira five cents?" Il thought my dollie
was old enough to have 'lowance,
and want to give it to her. "-Harper's
Round Table.
"A Question of Cosmology. little
girl in Gorham. on first discovering the
electric lights, and seeing the moon at
the same time, propounded this conun-
drum: Mamma, does God know that
we got electric lights?" Yes" re-
piled the mother HE must know il,
because He knows everything" Then,
mamma, why don't He take in the
moon?"-Portland Press.
A good story is told of two old la
dies, who were talking about the
churches. One said: What is the
difference between all these denomi-
nations, anyway" why" replied
the other, 1.-THE Methodists, they go
down in the gutter and pulls them up;
the Baptists, they washes them; and
the Congrega tioualists, they starches
them. Portland Express.
The Modern Idea.-Mrs. Young
husband-"Oh. Charlie, the cook got
angry this morning and left, bag and
baggage. What are we going to do?"
Mr.. YOunghusband-"W my love,
thought you attended cooking school
for seven months?" Mrs. Younghus-
band-"So l did, dear, but that was
merely to learn cooking as an accom-
plishment. Huntington Free Press.
One time on the Texas frontier a
man came into camp riding an old
mule How much for the mule?''
asked bystander. "Jist hundred
dollars" answered the rider. I'm
give you five dollars" said the other.
The rider stopped short,as If in amaze
ment. and then slowly dismounted.
stranger" said he, II amt a-goin to
let little matter of ninety-five dol
lars stand between me and a mule
trade The miles VOurn"