The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1895-07-06
A COWBOYS "AD."

n matter of Introductory fact, this
tale throughout is of a character
very commonplace. Mr.. Jacob With
am wanted a wife.
In seeking, however, for a part
ner with whom to share his name,
liberty and other Entertainments he
resorted to the not unprecedented
but somewhat unconventional meth
cd of publishing his craving in the
newspapers of San Francisco. More
over, the advertisement was not hid
den away in that wcarisome laby-
rinth of type popularity termed the
want ads, but in bold face, which
occupied at least ten squares of dis
play, 1t read:
Il want a wife. | am 35 years
old, a thoroughbred and square. ]
own 1000 cattle, 600 horses, have
$50, 900 sunk, and barring billiards.,
northers and other visitations of a
glorious climate shall never tighten
the cinch strap for hunger. Morally
| am on the fence. | drink when |
please and swear at the cattle, but |
would not swear at q wo1nan That's
all. Where is tho woman? She
must be under 25 and show up a
registered pedigree. Jacob Witham,
Quemadura Fiat, Cal"
But Mr.. Williams aspirations, pro
claimed beyond all misinterpreta.
ton, were destined to be considered
by an individual manifestly insult
ed to it's requirements. In a cozy
parlor within the aristocratic limits
of San Francisco it had caught the
eye of one Frederick Weldon, and to
that gentleman's handsome features
it brought q smile of amusement
Possibly he was contrasting the ad-
vertiser's position with his own-he
was being entertained by a young
girl Of admirable wifely adaptations
And yet such was not the exact
trend of his thoughts. Miss Dor
othy Halsted was a very pretty girl
and withal charming. Moreover, she
was at that moment seated beside
him on a low sofa, and her dainty
head seemed Is if created by nature
to rest confidingly on some strong
male shoulder. But San Francisco
was graced with many of her kind.
They were all attractive. He loved
the sex.
But in Mr.. Williams announce
ment, which he had carelessly lifted
from a table at his elbow, Fred dis
cerned an opportunity for possible
diversion, and he extended it to his
companion.
Let's apply, was his suggestion.
Miss Halsted smiled.
Il am only 10, she returned. Il
can wait a year or two longer before
resorting to any such desperate
means
Fred was on his knees metaphor.
ically at once.
Dolly! Miss Dolly!" he ejacu-
lated r~eproachfully,
But his assumption of tender dep
recation elected only a light, rip
ping laugh. 1t is to be feared that
the young girl deemed all such cour-
teous platitudes her just tribute.
Nor need it be stated with what
equally specious phrases she divert
ed the conversational bark into 9th
er channels. Suffice to say that she
exhibited the skill of an adept.
Meantime, however, Fred retain
ed the newspaper, and after a brief
interval he again asked:
why not answer it? I'll write
the letter, and you copy it. Then
we'll inclose the photo of an actress
If you can find one consistent with
his idea of a registered pedigree
and await results"
Again Miss Halsted laughed, but
it was only a musical murmur, man
ifesting little appreciation. She ever
appeared somewhat bored by his per.
sistency. Nevertheless she rose and
procured the materials requisite for
correspondence.
But what name shall l sign?'
she asked when at last it had been
copied.
You might use a composite,
was the reply. Yes, that's it-make
it Dorothy Weldon"
The young girl colored and lower.
ed her eyes, But she accepted the
suggestion, and over such pseu.
donym was the letter sent,
AS an e~pistolary precursor of fu-
ture hymeneal joys it was a master
piece-or so at least Fred averred
1t was to be presumed that the un.
known Mr.. Witham was a cattle
baron-i. G., a cowboy on whom for
tune had smiled-thereforeall stilted
elegance of ~phraseology was avoid
ed. Moreover, the gentleman APP
peared to desire a wife considerably
his junior, and for that reason a GER
tain maidenly coyness and naivete
were necessary. But Fred was equal
to the task. Miss "Weldon was
ashamed, almost afraid, to address
Mr.. Witham. She was alone, how
ever, with NJ one to advise, wa,
what people vulgarly termed a
"shopgirl." She had also been told
that gentleman in his walk of life re-
tanned much of that chivalric ele-
mapf IF 1icpocitioo 1o,r c