New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1895-06-14

Gadzooks-While hear a great deal about Joy.
rul surprise. nothing is ever said about sorrowfu
surprise.
Zounis-And yet the thing occurs whenever a
policeman tries saloon side door on sunday even
ing and finds 1t really locked.
Is great help in teaching boys geography: JACK s
showed this at school when hls tescher asSep S n
IFS on page 81" said Jack. "and i produces more
sets stamps than any other country OF us s~s
In the world "-(Harper's Round Table
Denver clergyman says that there are 1000
men going TO hell on bicycles And Mrs Elizabeth
Cady stanton says that women riding to SUI
frase on a bicycle. From ali Of which it would APP
pear that bicycle is becoming an important lac
in current life.
Indefensible.- Mudge-A fellow called me blamed
idiot last night. Would you challenge him. Il you
YabsIey-No You coudn'. be a blamed IDIOT; be-
cause idiot is not bamable Therefore hls s.sts
ment is worth contendlng over-undanapo"s
Journal
Uncomfortable but Useful.-Mrs. Flutter-Ths
reception chair is very pretty. but looks uncom-
Portable
saesman-Yes. madam: AMI Cor that reason II u
lust the thing TO offer visitors when short call
makes them most welcome.
Political.-"How is politics down your way.
"Wai some Of the voters is committed FER free
smatterin is committed fer hawg-stea.in' an the
ike.'-,Cincinnau Tribune
4 Jury across the river has decided that "A dogs
bite inflicted ss,o worth Of damage on womans
physical ami nervous system Fortunately for her.
II was a rich man, not poor one. that owned the
dog
A Merry Go Round II wondher' said MI. poissJn,;
lis 1t thrue that nhiskeyh cure A SNAKE noi,
"Av coorse its thrue rep.ied his compahhi,o onev
And there's no doubt at all ABOUT "h'shey
maxim mon see shnakesT
'pivll a Bit,
"Phwat's the matter wid yes"
"Oive dishcoverel perpetual MISUNDERSTANDING
ton star.
The demand for space in the Woman's Building at
the Cotton States and International Exposition has
been so great that the Womans Board has been
compelled to ask for appropriation for an annex
The matter has received the favorable consdera-
ton Of the Finance Committee. and will probably DO
approved by the Executive Board. The activity
and the amount OF labor performed by the women
OF this department are phenomenal. considering tho
means at their disposal, and the results attained SO
far are more than astonishing. They have stirred
so much interest I'm most OF the States that an
overwhelming demand for space has been made upon
the management
r;tlmatum-"Nome." pleaded Weary Watkins. Il
would like to saw the wood. but II Is asin my prin-
well" said the hard-faced lady, 81 is Just this
way: II you won't swallow your principles you DON'T
swallow any pe."-lndianapolis Journal
or Anthony Hope for thrilling stories OF adventure.
The newspaper accounts Of the experiences Of the
survivors OF the Colima satisfy the ordinary taste
for romantic horror. one Mexican who reached a
raft went crazy from drinking salt water Three
men found themselves aioat a part OF the cabin
roof and managed to drag on It a keg OF claret
which drlfted near them After long effort the keg
was opened. and two OF the shpwrecked men drank
OF its contents until they brutally drunk one
went to sleep. but the other quarreed and finally
fought with his sober companion. They struggled
there until the intoxicated man was knocked over
board. His antagonist pulled him back to the rude
raft The combativeness was knocked out OF him
by his cold plunge, but he continued to drink the
wine until he fell into the This time there was
no help for him. and he was drowned When the
other drunken man awoke he needed the warning
OF the wretch's example and drank only sparingly.
The two were at last rescued. There Is much fiction
FAR less exciting than this narrative.
A Mean Feilow.-Mr. Binks-I met a woman to-
day that l thought good deal OF once
Mrs Binks-Oh. you did? ,.~
"Humph'
g! did everything could to win her affection
my goodness
And at last l succeeded"
"Wha'--
"She granted all that asked and by so doing
made me the happiest man alive
Il asked her to come right up to the house with
cannot get here until supper-time."
mother"
"she isn't at home my dear. 1t was your mother
that met She gave me you."-(New-York Wsskvs