Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1895-05-12
EGGS DIDN'T HATCH.
rook HIM FOR A TRAMP.
Amusing Experience Of . Marches.
terian-Triais AID fluctuations Of
Church-Cheir 1'eaders-A Very Sin.
pio singer.

distressed soul In pathetic Language.
l am not a policeman. not even q ius.
tice OF the peace. and have a mighty liz.
tie pull with the politicians. II Is true
the Mayor OF Manchester and are quite
thick. He calls me Bill and l addrssa
him as Bob. and 1 take pleasure In
writing a column or so two Or three
times month announcing the fact that
the popular officer is hunting in cumbsr-
land county. understand Bob xees
dear" hunting. and II he has the sams
luck I had once 1t Will be mighty
dear" hunt. sure enough. But, as was
saying, some people come ~ pne with
their troubles. just as though I were
a patent medicine warranted to cure any
ailment on earth.
A Chesterfield farmer cams into the
office few days ago and talked to me
for four hours-that Is. talked and cried
together. for a portion OF the time the
poor fellows weeping wac like tho sprink.
ling OF a Broad-street water-cart, Simply
because he set an old hen on sixteen
eggs and che didn't hatch but fourteen
little Plymouth Rocks.
Later, a gentleman from Fulton came
TO see me- and shot on his lip until
, two OF the machines up stairs stopped
running, Just because SEVERAL street
signs had been put ny In dear. sweet little
Fulton labelled "Rocketts." or course
my sympathetic soul goes cut " these
people In deepest sympathy. AMI feel
as sorry for them as for the poor coll
| lectors who have so often left state
ments upon my desk. but can't % any
more for them than fop ths latter. ans
can only say, "Call again. old fei.'
Some one has aid that no good thing
could come out OF Manchester, but I am
willing TO deny the allegation. and sub
nit the following letter. which | Will
stand sponsor for. as evidence.
MANCHESTER. VA. May 2, 1895.
Dear BIZ Gossette-I give you tho fol-
lowing true story, which you can use II
you wish.
! AN ARDENT ADMlRER.
"Of course you know that the suburbs
OF Manchester are u haven OF rest and
a paradise OF glory for tranps. They
I congregate here from all parts OF the
! earth, and some places not on tho earth,
, and what they do In the way % making
/ It disagreeable for the residents In this
section Is \. T.. IL Is true We have an
ordinance here that prohibits the knights
to come In the city. and provides that II
caught they shall be made to work IN
a chain gang, but this does not seem
to operate very well. for the tramps ara
not used TO labor. and 1t makes bissteis
on their hands using the shovel ana
nick. so the hind-hearted officials Just
wink the other eye and let them go.
II came home from the shops few
nights ago without changing my working
clothes or removing from my face any
OF the accumulated dust and dirt NJ the
day IL was just as twilight was forming
a partnership with darkness, ana the
aroma OF broiled ham was waited gently
through the unlighted streets. that l un'
latched my back gate 10 Walk H. "hen.
who should | meet but tramp. Lake
myself he was big. s,rons, healtny-iooh'
ing fellow. and Ia the asm light he TOOK
me for a brother knight
Jack, you are at the right domcle'
he whispered. Easiest place you eve
saw to work, plenty OF everything good
10 eat. and no questions about your ALI
cestry or previous history
"'Dll you see the landlady! what sor
OF a looking woman il she, and what do
she sayg | asked as took In the STU
alton. and determined to carry The Joh'
on little.
Ion. she is a fine lady and just as good
and Kind as she Is pretty. Aiter ha'
these filed and he put his hands on NJ
puff.d-out pockets), i asked her u sh'
would like TO have some WOOD saver -
.xchanee for something Ia eat. she sal
I no. flt. lufUTtnl
ton and told her II saw sent.et'ai
who wanted the Job I would send nm
around. She got mad. but you can wor'
,he same racket, and with this the fei
low chucked me under the chin. and WIKI
n good-natured smile at his own uick am
cunning he left before ] could htroiuc'
him TO the toe Of my brosans. 10 say ina
wiley was mad that night only espresso
II mildly. She was Yed hot bus cal
trithfully say she hasn't fed any tramp
since"
YOUNG married peoOls sometimes &C
very queerly, and oftehStmes adord amuse
ment for others when they are ~ sneoh
scious OF what Is going on aboNt MN
You can usually tell them a housan'
miles away. They are however w
easiest people on earth 70 dupe. A your,
a
incident that happened to him Oh ~
brlds, trip. While In Atlanta stroiiins VI
one OF the pretty streets he was ~lais'
BY a Jehu, who told him there were man,
places OF interest in tho Georgia. city INA
M. should visit. Groom.iike he was take'
In, and In a few moments he was rV'is''
merrIly down the street. The as"s
pointe,i out several places OF Interest. ~
citing a bit OF history at each stop ftes
emily the carriage began 10 DUMP '",
tumble about over some very rough roap
and the doctor asked where ne WAS. -
dar soon, boss" replied tho driver. -
. where?' Down de road. boss; be oar y
a minute" and bumpety.thump tho Sehle'
a went. Here you IL. boss" called Out VA
driver, as he stopped his team wv
. heads leaned out the window put .ne.
! ! was nothing visible except a piece
, woods, a negro shanty. ana t"' us"-
; squalld surroundings.
..weIl- what Is il you want to SHOW
? us9" "Dar SIS" "What-where
fright dar. boss" Right where: wha
is ity' Dat house dar in front OF ysu'
"Well. what about ity' Oats whsr
lives. boss" and two people sat d9"'
without a word, and the driver cnueHie'
as he fondled a crisp new V. In MS insld
pocket, which had been previously va''
him.
The trials OF the organist OF voian
| tary church choir are only equshei .
the trlbulations OF the Henr.co cops,aos
at West-End Ball Park, but sun ths'
axe little pleasantries sand"Icnei ~
among hts many duties that make his ",
bsarable. and an opportunity Is often al
| | forded him 10 set down on someoooy
something other than the organ s'v''
, | The organist. Of course, KNOWS " az
and a little besides and VIII w''hou
hesi,ancy, Jump on the soprano Tor no
/ | singing ND to time. Like the MAJOR va
regiment the high singer lights opto 10
, alto about dragging. and thus II - passe'
ON down TO the bass who, IKE 'he pee
priyate. has the brunt 70 bear JUST wn'
the sonrano. alto. and tenor want 10 CIV
a comedy performance whsn .ne 80"
ist is trying 10 teach the pass n's
IL about as easy to understand as "n'
. a woman puts enough cloth IN the sisss
81 her dress TO make man q su'.
cIothes. I heard a good Ting aoo.s
Srssh youngster a few days ago: he
a member OF west-End church en"s'
and remarked at rehearsal 10 tone
; ironv. III wish I had a sweSt .o's. ~
our organiss." Tho soprano. VINO dlan
IKE the fellow much. out Wa ~ 80. ~,
| OF the leader. remarked. Why. 20" -.
eat honsyY' The twentieth s"Ss
man didn't take In the JOKE OUT ~ -
, since that time taken "a ~ h,,.v usss