Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1895-04-14

fcssndiy devout commandment OF nc
church. waN promptly iu her Mace At
the beginning Of the services Her mis-
tross was also commuplcnni, and
watched with interest To SEQ if ntunh
would pnrtal\o OF the holy communion.
But Dinah. apparently had no con-
fcicntlous acruples 10 keep her away.
She inclt az the altar rall "a dovoutly
az u her conscience had been deviod OF
guilt
on thcif roturn home the mistress
called tcr servant TO her. and IN a
tone OF mild rcproach said "oh, Dlnnh.
now could you ~ 10 the holy table
with such a load OF sin On your soul2"
u nin't rot no ain ON my uould,
missy was tho reply.
why nluah, not after YOU stole
that turkey and gnvc II 70 your friends
and then He'd about itg'
20, Ia, missy" exclaimed the inpcu-
ltont cook do you sposc lso goln TO
lot that old turkey ben stan' between
me and my Dressed i.awdY'
IL Is related OF n good old Baptist
minister IN a suburban town that one
day whom II was beginning to rain, he
was vending HIS way along tho street
when he met tho pastor Of the Com
gregatlonal church,
Good morning, brother D." he cx-
claimed; "a disngrocahly day, isn't Il
~ thought YOU liked water" was the
laughing roply
80 ! DO" Willingly rpioincd tho Ban.
ust hut l abhor sprlultl'ng'
An Episcopallan clergyman, now
dead, used 20 relate an experience he
once had, which conVused his congre-
cation with laughter. and nearly broke
M the services for the day. IIe WINS
the rector or a church In Connoeticut
One day. as the time for the annual
Nlsltntien FOR the bishop was approach
ing ana he was preparing class for
continuation, he was sent for tu visit
q woman who desired tu talk with hin,
on the subject of baptism.
Tho woman, who was very stnut.
weighed somewhere IN the noirhhor-
mood OF 800 pounds, Informed him that
she had long been attracted toward
lhe Episcopal church. but had refrnInrj
| from uniting With " because she had
strong convictions In regard to han.
tsm, and felt that she ought 10 be IN
morscd ' "'
The minister told her that although
me church believed POURING ar snrI,i'
ing 10 be valid baptism &c ana moi prn-
mint immersion. though, as II was N
a'i'rWh1t lne9nvehicnt method, Il was
Ihen he tried 10 convince her TINT
! mo usual method of tho church bn6
been recognized from the nus of thn
| apostles as Wild. aud ,tlei Ia induce
! her To conform 10 g.
hut she would not he convinced. shc
| Desired 10 he baptized. hut only bv I'M
mrfslon. The minister pointed out the
/ alillouitles OF the way, saving that he
had no font In the church large enough
/ ior such a purpose, and that there was
| no riNor or beach In the vicinity,
IN reply, she HuggostCd that he oh
| tain permission To use tho Bnptlst
| church. which had a large baptlstry
/ under the pulpit platform.
/ This he consented 10 do. though
/ with much mlsgiylug. The consent ID
/ tanned
Tho next SUNDAY Episcopal services
/ We're hold In the Baptist church. At
| the proper time In tho service tho onn-
| dldnto for baptism went forward. and,
! baptlstry,
An went wen until it came time for
| the immersion. Then the minister for
| tho nrat time realized his lueNpurlonoe
IN administering that form OF bap-
When he attempted to lmmcrae the
| woman his foot Slipped aud thry both
| went under the water together
He hastily HcrRmblvd to hts feet, but
! To his CONSERVATION aud horror found
! when he attempted to raise the woman
| that she could not be- moved There
/ she lay like so many pounds of lead.
] laundering IA the water aud screaming
/ FOR dear life, In vain he tuggcd and
| pulled, She could not be even started,
Finally several men in the conErcEa-
! ton went to the assistance Of the MIN
1 lister, and by their united efforts sue
/ cocdrd In bringing the frightened woo
/ man to her fect, The mon wore wet TO
| the akin, having been Obliged to 30
| into the hnpustrN
The congregation struggled with It's
] pcnt-up laughter hut finally It burst
| forth iu a roar which could not be
suppressed, The services were contiu-
uod with great difficulty, ana tho min
/ ister drew LONG breath OF relief when
thuy were ended, But lac declared that
he would never again lmmerat another
woman,
Roya In church. as Is wen known. are
/ not nfroQuontly the cause Of great an-
nnyance to clorgymen.
Some years ago Mothodlm minister
was delivering u aerInnn with good
| deal Of carnestuess. when his attention
was attracted 10 boy In the gal-
| lcry.
The youngoster was leaning over the
rail, ana apparently lowering some
thing attached to u cord, which he &c.
cnslonully pulled up, whom he would
throw II over again with more guato
than ever,
Ia what he would tho preacher could
not Keep his eyes on that boy.
shifting his position In tho pulpit
slightly, he had hcttcr opportunity
to see what was going ON, ana observed
thut nm old gentlemun In n pow under
the gallery had fallen asleep, and was
sitting with his head back and his
mouth wide open.
seolng this, the boy had attached a
corr, 10 a Rtriug. and waH ondeayoring
TO lower II into the old mans mouth,
lIe came near succeeding several times
mud as the cork gently awayed TO and
frn Il occasionally tlckled the sieopor'a
nose. At such times he would stir
little uneaslly and brush II away with
MIA hand TO the evident delight of the
Yrlnulng youngatcr The whole scene
was 80 exceedingly comicRl that the
minister came near laughing outright
At longth he was obliged TO bcolton TO
tho soNton and request him TO put an
cnd to the boys nshiug FOR the day or
else send him somewhere oluc TO do H.
An uncomfortable experience which
befon Pnrson Hartlett, Unitarian
minister. some ycnra ago, used 90 be
related by his clerical brethren with
good deal Of giec. The parson had been
lnyit0h 70 exchange puldta With
CLERGYMAN IN eeicm. ana It being
dellghtful SUNDAY In tho spring. tho
pursun walked across the acids from
IFS home IN Mnrhlehoad. starting carly
enough In the morning 10 be IN time
whom u.o hour for service arrived
The congregation assembled ~ the
uquu1 limo but no mlniqtor apuaarpd