River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-08-22

n
Was not to be distinguished. Shocks
aud Brooks were NJ. P.'s., one was a
retired linen draper and the other a
shOpkeeper. not even retired. There
were six hundred and seventy mem
bers. she reminded him. and the names
of most were never heard of, except in
division list. No. he must become
prominent, though she did not stipu-
/ late for a place in the government
There were no vacancies just then. and
besides, she knew. as every body knew,
that the front bench was overloaded
with mediocrities. 80 Cheeseman,
though across the first ditch. found
there were even sitter ones before him.
lie was a model member lie had
read somewhere that the first step t.
parliamentary success was thorough
knowledge of the forms Of the house
He carried the standing orders about
with him and tried to understand them
| That, of course. was impossible, but
| by sitting for eight hours a day in his
place and doing his best to follow
everything, he learned a good deal, for
| il was an Irish session. He had scarce
~ been in the house q month when he
actually put a question down on the
paper, and when he read in the Times
next day that the minister of agricul-
ture. in answer to Mr.. Cheeseman, said
that there was not the slightest founda-
tiOn for the statement in the honorable
members question--it alluded 10 an
alleged outbreak of swine fever among
the pigs of his constituency-he felt
that he was on the high road 10 legis-
lative hOnors.
Lady Helen, however, was severely
practical. She remarked, with knCwl
edge OF things that awed him. that ask
ing a question only meant handing a
paper to the clerk one day, and on an
other, when the speaker called your
name. saying: 81 beg TO ask the right
| honorable gentleman, the secretary of
state for the sealing wax department,
question No. ESQ.," and of course that
was not to be denied. Lady Helen in
formed him. too (she was a young lady
with a remarkable fund of informa-
tom. that though men had attained
parliamentary distinction in a great
variety of ways, IL was not on record
that a reputation had ever been made,
except perhaps for that of bore. by
putting questions to ministers. That
decided Cheeseman; he would make his
maiden speech
There was certain bill down for
second reading-a "Bill Tor Giving
Every body Everything" let us call it,
the bill that above all other bills was
the bill of the session. He would speak
on that, Cheeseman told himself. lie
also told Lady Helen, and when he had
done so he felt that half the ordeal
was over. for there could be no going
back now. Lady Helen applauded his
determination and asked him n what
night he proposed TO speak.
ION the fourth" Cheeseman replied;
''the division WOULD certainly be taken
them" he addeI with esoteric air.
LOT course" said his 1iancee, who
probably knew more about the matter
than he did. But would he speak
early OF late? 1t was no good speak
ing during the dinner hour, with only
the reporters to hear him"
''Oh, between ten and eleven o'clock, a"
said Cheeseman, airily.
But" Lady Helen began, and then
she stopped. That will do nicely"
she added, but mind you are not shut
out" She was going to tell him what.
seemingly, he did not know, that the
fourth night would be the verv dressiest
of full dress debates, that big guns
would be booming nearly all the even
ing and that popguns would stand a
very poor chance of being heard.
Even il he does make fool of him
self he will be talked about" was Lady
lIelen's reflection. land that is better
than nothing at all"
So Cheeseman, and especially Cheese
mans secretary, went to work. The
secretary was IA man of resources. lie
knew that members of parliame mt
never read newspapers, so he artfully
extracted the most pithy passages
which would serve his chiefs case
from the numberless articles on the
bill, and pieced them together, max
ing a very presentable speech indeed.
Then his real labor began. Cheese
man was to speak a quarter of an
hour, his secretary said; shorter
time would show him incompetent; if
he We're longer the house would vote
him bore. Ana the house, of course,
would stand anything; hypocrisy, IL
literacy, vulgarity even, but never
boredom, except from the front
benches, use being second nature in
the house of commons, as elsewhere.
lie must learn his speech by heart,
and have the manuscript by him,
which he might follow with one eye.
He mustn't read his speech. that being
allowed only to right honorable gentle
men who could conveniently place their
vOluminous notes" on the treasury
boxes. Cheeseman adopted the speech
with touching humility. He begged
hard for just one Latin quotation, but
this his secretary sternly forbade. 1t
was certainly true, the latter said, that
you would always be sure of some APP
plause in the house for a Latin or
Greek quotation-it being the natural
weakness of man to applaud what he
does not understand. But il was a
dangerous thing TO do, and could not
safely be done by man under fifty.
So Cheeseman learned his speech, and
managed to assImilate quite a consid-
NEdbAc part VI H. ne OlltEtu 10 TcClit
il to Lady Helen, but she said, being a
woman with great presence of mind,
that she would far rather hear it fresh
from the ladies gallery.
The great debate came on. The sec
ond reading of the bill was moved in a
speech of unexampled power and
pathOs by the leader of the house, at
least SO said the government organs
while the opposition papers rather
thought that il gave evidence of fail
Ing powers, long suspected. The de-
bate languished on the second day, as
debates have a habit of doing, was
deadly dull su the third, and rose again
on the fourth. Cheeseman came down
TO the house early So as to secure a seat
well within the range of the speakers
eye, and thus unconsciously made an
enemy for life in the person of a prom
inent member. who looked upon that
seat As his natural right. and who as
an exile at the bar Indignantly re-
garded his dIsposSessor. IL must be set
on record. for this is true story. that
Cheeseman, during that memorable
evening, had more than one brandy and
soda at the lobby bar, which the re-
forming hand had not then swept into
outer darkness. He burned to get that
speech off his tongue. il was so deadly
oppressive. Once, when the house was
almost empty and the speaker as is his