St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1895-05-04
ALL SORTS.
THERE ARE WOMEN.


There are women who are c0mely,
There are women who are homely-
But be careful how the latter thing you
There are women who are healthy,
There are women who are wealthy,
There are women who will always
have their way.
There are women who are truthful,
There are women who are youthful,
WAS there ever . women that was
old?)
There are women who are sainted,
There are women who are painted,
There are women who are worth their
weight in gold.
There are women who are tender,
There women who are slender
There are women very large aud fat
and red;
There are women who are married,
There are women who have tarrie,l,
There are women who are speechless-
But they're dead. Albion News.
"What do you think OF my case.
doctor2" "Oh. your case is all
right; I'm not worrying in tbr least
about that. But there is something
wrong with the vital contents Ut
your case. and that's what Im Try.
ing to find out"
Algerncn-"Do you believe in
love in q cottsge?" Araminta--
Certainly; provided the cottage il
at least three stories high. With all
modern improvements and situated
| in a fashivsble neiyhborhood."
In the next world we mast
give an account for story idle word
spoken in this" Shs-"Then
heaven must be happy place; there
will always bs ~ much to talk
about. Boston Transcript.
"May ! have the pleasure Of your
company 10 the opera Oh Friday
nightl" said the Advanced Young
Woman to the beautiful young man.
II should be delighted ; replied the
timid youth. ii my papa conl;'
60 aschaperon. "-lit.sburg chron'
icls.
Mr. Newman (tssrfnlly )-"Mnud.
I'm sure you don't love me as you
| used to. We've been married onl;
two months. yet you've bolted your
dinner tc hurry away to the Muui-
cipnl Protective League" Mrs New
mnn-"Hush, Willie. Your tears
quite unwoman me. dear. Be n
good brave little husband aud I'll
hurry HON. and brig you a lovely
box Of cig,r.tteS. New York
Herald.
The charge against tho prisoner
is intimidnting VOTERS" eaid the
Judge. did be use actual
vioience?" "Not actual violence,
your honor" replied the prose.
cutting attorney. "bu. it was intimi.
dation. nevertheless He was at the
polls in the interest Of the Repub.
iican ticket. he had a live mouse
in his pocket. with string tied t.
it's tail, aud when a democratic LAZY
arrived to vote he would let The
animal RIM across the floor. You'
honor can imagine the result"
Harper's B"zasr.
Boys" said q teacher in the Sun
day school. ''csn aLy Of you qnote
a verse from Scripture to prove that
It is wrong for mn" TO have two
wive@?' He paused. aud after =
moment or two bright boy raised
his hand. swell. Thom"sg" said
the teacher cncoureginsly. Tho
mas stood up and eaid: mo man Cat
serve two masters. Boston Home
Journal.
| A lady had been looking for q
friend for q Ion. time without sue
cess. Finally she came upon her i,
AN unexpected place. "WelI, she
exclaimed s'I've been or a perfect
wild goose chase all day long; but,
thank goodness, I've found you
ut lastl"
"You have an early spring here.
10 your" said The gentlenlau frou.
the North. "Yee. sir. right airly
You kin always tell when springs
come fer good by the snakes. That
me you're a.stAndia' on now is q
xround rnttler, an this one where
you're s-ju.npin' to is a spre"din'
adder"
She nestled coyly on his manly
bosom after the bIissful question
had been asked. "And a,r I the
only moman you ever loved?'
well. yes-sgccesstal!y." he whis
PEREZ in her encbspted ear --tI"s-
srsville( Tenn. Review.
'lhie is as good .u investment as
rs you can make, MADAM said the
enthusiastic bicyols agent. Not
only does II cost nothing for feed.
but il you ever become famous you
can make back al you paid by writ
ing up your experiences in lea rn-
| ing to r;ds."- indianapolis Journal.
Clubby-"Whv do you dine at
| noon? It's 20 provincial aud Amer.
can" Dracer-"On the contrary.
it's English. I sit down at the
PRECISE moment with the Prince OF
Wales, considering the ai{ hours
difference in time."-Aev York
World.