The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1895-11-01
upon BILL NYE.
The Decorative Order Of the An
cieDt Egg.
COyFERS A DEGREE AT PATER-
son, N. j.

Eacetious Willie Was Anything But Fun
ny-He Makes a Painful Show of Him
| self-Now Has a Chance to Practically
Apply One of His Stock Jokes.
New York, October 81. "A special N
the Sun says: Among barn -storming COM
panies the city of Paterson is held in ill
repute. There fourishes within it's limits
unique institution, the Decorative
Order of the Ancient Egg. The latest
entertainer to run up against this order
is the lecturer and humorist, Bill Nye,
who encountered it on Tuesday evening
and was decorated extensively, pictur-
esquely, and odoriferously before he could
escape from town, i'll recognition of his
efforts to amuse Patersonians. He left
behind him many regrets, whose basis
was the fact that his manager got away
with $3.50 for an exhibition which, as far
as Nye was concerned, was, SO the Pater-
son people say, inferior in quality to the
eggs that emphasized his exit.
Announcements that Bill Nye, assisted
by Bert Poole, the lightning illustrator,
would give an entertainment in the First
Baptist Church caused rush for tickets,
and the young mems class of the church,
who had the matter in charge, this being
the first of series of entertainments
were greatly elated over the sales. They
had secured the combination through the
agency of a literary bureau, which highly
recommended Nye as ''the Heading
American humorist. - A few days before
the night set the committee got a, report
from Atlantic City that caused them
some uneasiness. The report intimated
that the lecturer on his appearance there
had fortified himself beyond his own
capacity, and it embodied the mournful
expression of Manager Fralinger OF the
Atlantic City Academy:
Bill Nye has been here and gone. May
he never come again -
Paterson is chanting this refrain now,
but at that time the committee in charge
could not foresee the impending fiasco
Nye appeared as advertised, but if any
thing he said was funny his auditors
could not detect it-in fact it was rather
painful. 1t is intimated that there We're
other than natural causes for the feeble
condition Mr.. Nye appeared to be H.. At
any rate the audience left the church in
supreme disgust.
tits all oVer We've been sold p were
the remarks heard on all sides.
Meantime Nye and the others had
occupied some time in getting ready to
leave the church. They emerged at an
unfortunate moment, to find themselves
in a crowd of young fellows, who began
to hoot, their rem arks being aimed at
Nye:
the bald headed fakir. Run him out of
town. Ride him on a rail y
Gentlemen" began Nye, drawing
himself up with great dignity. I trust
you, are not tdis-dis-dissatisfied with my
endeav-"
.sHooray Speech! The prize takers
talking again. Soak him with brick =
Something that looked like shoe
sailed past Nye's ear, and the Others of
his party seized him and hurried him in
to a carriage, which was driven rapidly
away amid chorus of hoots A few
minutes later delegation Of twenty or
thirty youths called at one of the big
grocery stores.
K'sGot any nice, ripe eggs?" they asked.
"Pve got plenty of good, fresh eggs, If
that's what you want" replied the clerk.
ssThat's just what we don't want We
want eggs that haven't been fresh for SO
long that you couldn't tell they ever had
been, and we want all you've got. !"
After a search the clerk succeeded in
raking up dozen or so and produced
some turnips which. he said, could not be
recommended from a sanitary standpoint,
but were excellent in certain emergencies.
The delegation bought up the lot. Half
dozen other stores were visited and
quite a collection of ammunition was
acquired. Then the youths sauntered
down to the Erie station to wait for the
late train to New York. Nye was in the
station sleeping peacefully. Even had he
been awake there was nothing in the
appearance of the young men. barring
certain bulging of coat pockets, to arouse
suspicion. Peacefully he slept until tho
roar Of the incoming train aroused him.
Then he sailed forth unsuspectingly to
the platform, where the young men had
| formed in line to greet him.
"Here he comes; give him the egg"
sounded the cry, and fusilade of eggs
and vegetables pured in upon him. With
yell of dismay he covered his face with
his arms and bolted for the train, and just
as he reached for the step particularly
big missile struck him fairly in the back
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