The morning times., 1895-08-18

The mail received at the Municipal
Building ~ the course of a year develops
some rare specimens OF literature, aud re-
veals as many examples of the man with
wheels, perhaps, as can be discovered q
a similar way in any other department Of
the Government
The District Commissioners, being the
recognized head of the municipality,
are appealed to upon every topic, aud
their corTespoude nts reside in every State
In the Union, in Canada, Mexico and even
far away Europe.
An official, who happened TO be in a
reminiscent mood, has furnished The Times
with few of the many inquiries that
have fallen under his eye in the years of
his service at the District building
ut would require a book OF very large
dimeusions," he said, Ito contain all OF
the class OF iuterrogatories suggested, uor
can I recall tenth part of them; but re-
member Que notable communication.
WISE WESTERN sOLON.
"A Western solon devoted twenty-five
closely written sheets of letter paper to an
exposition of his comprehensive knowledge
and advice Without troubling himself to
punctuate or divide his screed into para
graphs, he informed the Commissioners
that a fence should never be built on the
wane of the moon; that under no conditions
should the wax be removed from the ears;
that hogs should not be permitted to eat
russell apples; that oats should always be
mixed with grass seed; that he had a novel
invention for building pig styes; that light
ming rods We're of no avail on a barn; that
the only way to make fire burn was TO
pour water into the lower part OF the stove;
that putty was made of linseed oil and
whiting, and thus, without an internlission,
he presented an array of facts of such vast
magnitude that it required the entire clerical
force 10 diSsect and digest it,
Among other incidents related are these:
Periodically an insane gentleman in Eng
land addresses postal card 10 the COM
missioners beseeching them TO release his
wife and daughter from jail, where, he says,
they have been most unjustly imprisoned
through the Vaccinations OF jealous lover
of the girl.
lone man. who claimed TO be the owner
OF the Capitol, had his letter set up in type
ana anu ditilOuSh II lAAG Ot-
sired effect of attracting attention, it did
not produce the expected settlement of his
claim,
Another method OF attracting attention
| was indulged in by one whose claims were
not SO eXorbitant as those OF the man just
mentioned, but who, nevertheless, thought
them worthy of careful attention. His
| plan consisted in the use of a typewriter
| and different colored ribbons. All the en-
| phasized statements We're written in fiery
red, which stood out in bold contrast TO the
| green ink employed in the more quiet por-
| tions OF his epistle.
"Sometimes those whose moral seDsi-
biities have been shocked by an observed
! violation of the divine law, indulge in
ominous warnings to the Commissioners OF
| the wrath that is about to descend upon
| the iDiquitouS people OF the National Cap
ital. These portentious commu nications
are generally very freely embellished with
| quotations from the prophets and with other
sCriptural excerpts, in confederation OF
the predicted destruction which is about to
fall upon the world, probably because
some indiscreet or ungodly bill-poster has
a''Owed the e-picture of some fair nymph in
dishabille to be displayed on a fence
within communicating range OF susceptible
| souls