The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1895-05-25
PUNoENT PARAGRAPHS.


-Butler-'I may be poor. but there
was time when / rode in 4 carriage. ;
Cook-"Yes, and your mother pushed
t."-Pall Mall Budget.
--May-'Iwonder what The men do at
the club?" Pamella-"From what Jack
says guess they play with the kitty
most OF the time. "-Harlem Life.
Aunt Rosa-"Well, Juanito, what
would you like to be when you are
grown up?" Juanito (whose parents
are very strict)-"rd like to be an or
phan. Ell Dia.
- sometimes feel as if would like
to be real bad man." sadly said the
small gentleman, but fear am not a
good enough man to back it up."-In-
aianapolis Journal.
-"Great Scott, / put through a ter
rible night" what was the trouble?''
" thought I'd borrowed five dollars
aud woke up and found it dream
Chicago Inter Ocean.
Young Wife (who has cooked the
dinner)-.'You don't seem to relish the
dinner" Husband-"O, yes, only sus-
pect there are some typographical err
rors in your cook book. --Fliegende
Blaetter. ~
Mamie and I have made wager
on the age of the prima donna we saw
last week." said the young woman.
Are the stakes high?" 'Yes, indeed.
We bet brand new theater hat
Washington Star.
-Fraulein Mabel Ito her young NAM
But now you must ask papa for his
consent" Young Man very shy)-
"Oh, certainly! Your-papa-has-I
hope-a-telephon = at-his = Officer
-Ueber Land und Nicer.
-Jack--'Madge has beautiful hair.
hasn't she?" Nell-"Yes, she gets that
from her mother" Jack--'.I didn't
know her mother had hair of that
color" Nell-''Oh, yes. She has all
kinds in her store. "-Philadelp Rec.
ord.
Has Been There Himself-Mr.
Mildman--'Professor, my wife per-
sists in saying i seen when l think it
ought to be L saw Which is right?"
Prof. Knowall-.Well. if your wife
says Il SEEM would say the same if /
were you-"-Detroit Free Press.
-"How many characters are there
In your play?" asked the manager.
Characters" said the astonished dram
atist. Didn't just tell you this is
an up-to-date drama? Not a single
person in the piece has even shred of
character. indianapolis Journal.
-"Eustace has been cured of his
habit of boasti ng." "How was that
miracle accomplished" 'He was dilat-
ing on the size of his income the other
evening in mixed crowd when one of
The persons present spoke up and re-
marked that he was an income tax col
ector."-Chicago Record.
Mrs. Twickham entertaining Mrs.
8ingo at dinner)-"Have another olive,
Mrs. Bingo. do think they are such
luxury" Bobbie Bingo-"You must
ike them, don't yon?" Mrs. Twick-
lam-"Yes, Bobbie, do. Why?" Bob
says you don't have |
many Injuries. IN. Y. Herald.
I'm His Wife's Name.-At a church
Meeting in one of the suburbs OF Chi |
ago, the inquiry was made whether a
ertain lawyer of the congregation,
whose financial affairs were somewhat
involved, had got religion" To which
mother lawyer present responded:
No, think not, unless it's in his wife's |.
'ame. "-Argonaut.
81 want to git collar fer my hus-
and" said the hard-faced woman;
and l declare l have plumb forgot the I
ize. ginerly buy all his collars and
les fer him, too" ''Ahr' said the as
ute clerk. ''Then You probably want
bout thirteen and a half or four-sf
Gen." Eyes, that's right; but l don't
ee how you guessed it so easy?" 'Oh,
have noticed that a man who let's his
Tife buy all his haberdashery for him
sually has neck about that size."-
incinnati Tribune.