Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-11-16
HIS INVENTION.
A Device to Insure Satisfaction With the
Decisions of Umpires.

Device to Insure Satisfaction With the
Decisions of Umpires.
The enthusiasm of genius burned in the
seedy mans eye as he entered the office of
the manager of the great metropolitan ball
team.
"Good morning" he said in cheerful
tones. ~ have here something to which I
would like to call your attention. /"
The manager stopped in his figuring up
of averages and looked the man over, then
proceeded with his work, remarking,
"Don't care to look at any new catchers'
masks. Haven't any use for rubber lined
bats on my team. Don't take any stock In
Easements gloves with glue on EN-. Never
use patent creased trousers for base slid.
ing. Couldn't use an automatic pitching
machine for practice If had it. Baseball
novels are out Of my line. Have no wish
to look att
"This is not patent machine or book,
SIR" said the seedy man softly. at is
little device of my own to insure satisfac-
tion with the decisions of the umpire. ~
Nervously the manager looked at his
visitor, but the man showed no evidences
of disordered brain. He interpreted the
glance.
"No; am not crazy" said he "All
ask Is fair consideration of my plan.
You have had trouble with your umpires
from time to time, presumed"
1T is no exaggeration to say that, re-
piled the manager.
"Crowd gets excited occasionally"
eyes; I've seen that happen too"
"Calls the umpire names perhspsS"
cts quite possible"
maybe even hurls missiles at him."
"Well, I've seen things thrown at an
umpire" admitted the baseball man.
Captains get mad and threaten to
punch holes In him?''
"And he fines 'em 500 cach Then
there's trouble all round" sighed the
other.
well, my plan will obviate all that"
declared the seedy man. "Once use the
American umpire protector and oonvincer
Of kickers, and you'll never have another
bit Of trouble. Now, here's the scheme:
OF course most of the trouble comes on
close decisions on outs My umpire pro-
tector consists In small camera worn un-
der the umpire's shirt, with the lens pro-
jecting. On a close decision the umpire
PUSHES forward toward the base, calls his
decision and at the critical moment presses
the button. An instantaneous picture Is
taken. The crowd kicks, the players howl,
the umpire sends his picture by an assist
ant to q convenient dark room, and by o
quick process 1t is developed in two min
utes. The players are still kicking when
the picture ia brought out and shown.
The plate cannot lie. There is the picture
Of the player wildly sliding to base, still
few inches away, while the other player
has the ball on him. Spectators can buy
copies Of the plates after the game at 5
cents apiece and thus preserve the star
features of the game. II the picture fails
to bear out the umpire's decision, the de-
oision must be reversed. It's the greatest
scheme ever designed. Now I'm prepared
to hire out next season to umpire games
by the Photographic process at 5000 per
game or at reduced rates for contract for
the season. What do you say9"
Young man." said the manager sadly,
"you are too bright and beautiful for life
in sporting world. What you want to
do is to devote your energies to consid-
GRAFTON Of croquet."
And as the seedy man walked slowly
out the manager returned to his figures
and the attempt to convince himself that
even II his team did lose every other game
during the season it would still end in
front of the tail enders. New York Sun.