The Canton times. (Canton, Miss.) 1893-1906, 1895-01-18
DIDN'T PUSH IT OVER.
A Crank Resists Temptation at the Wash
ington Monument.

A Crank Kesists Temptation az Tine WASH
ington Monument.
Washington is the Mecca OF cranks.
and the monument seems to be their
principal shrine. Even the White
House is not SO attractive to them as
the great white shaft. 1t can be seen
for miles around and seems to attract
cranks as a candle does moths The
watchmen have become accustomed to
the gentry, and as long as they appear
to be quiet and we'll disposed, usually
deal gently with them, however wild
their ideas. One man they tell OF de-
clared that the monument was built OF
human skulls and bones and persisted
in pointing out the faces of friends in
the stones;b but perhaps the oldest speci-
men on record happened down there
the other day.
When the Waterman first observed
him he was leaning heavily against the
shaft, apparently pushing with all his
might-at least he would push for
awhile, and then he would walk around
to the other side, apparently to see II
there were any people there. The
Waterman watched this proceeding for
awhile and then accosted him:
BEG pardon; you arn't going to push
it over, are you?"
II could if l wanted to, responded
the man; then, with immense dignity:
my name is Samson"
''Oh, the strong man?' ventured the
Waterman, sizing up the man, who was
about five feet five, and not apparent
lv very muscular Let me see, you
were down at Kernan's theater few
weeks ago, weren't your"
mo sir" replied the man, sternly-
81 am the reincarnated Samson OF
Biblical times: the one who overthrow
the Philistines, Staying thousands with
!. the iaw-bone of an ass, and afterward
!: pulling down the pillars of the Temple.
WHY, it would be mere child's play for
| me to upset this puny monument"
"Well, wouldn't do it if | were you,
: expostulated the Waterman mildly.
5 you see this is in memory of Wash
ington; proba bly, you have never heard
} of him, as he was little after your
l time: but we moderns think good
l deal of him. Then it cost the govern
7 ment a good deal of money and took
| good many years to build this monu-
/ ment, end good many people would
consider it unkind of you to destroy 1t.
Take me, for instance. | am hired to
watch it, and, of course, you would
throw me out of job. Besides you
might hurt somebody"
mo, 1 was very careful to look on
: the other side first" said the man.
n "But perhaps you think l can't do it?
: Now you just look up and see me
u shake it"
l. The Waterman was agreeable. Now,
), it is a fact that when one stands d1-
It rectly at the base of the monument IT
d appears to be topping over, This is,
of course, an optical delusion, caused
S bv the clouds moving overhead; but it
a impressed the crank with his power
e Ibid you see me shake it?' he in
y quired, triumphantly.
Yes" responded the Waterman
solemnlv, but l wouldn't do so any
l. more You might weaken the founda
l. lions even if you didn't push it over
lr Besides, here comes a crowd OF people
lie and not knowing who you are, they
N might laugh at you. Then you would
a have to push it over to prove it tt
n them"
:. THAT'S So" said the crank, and, bid
I'd ding the Waterman "Good-day," he de
rs parted, and has not been seen abou
g, the monument since. - Washington
lie Post.