Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-07-25
MIR. AND MRS. BOWSER
THERE WERE HOLES IN THE SOCKS
 OF MIR. 3.

And Led Mrs. B. to Defend Herself by
 Go Down with Her Husband-Just Like
 Man.
 Mrs. Bewser sat by the front window waiting for Mir. Bowser to come home to dinner She saw him when he drop. ped off the car, almost block away, and she knew by the way he struck the ground that something was wrong with him. He came down the street with his shoulders bumped up and his hat pulled down on his ears, and as he ascended the front steps his scuffi scuff! scuff was warning that row was at hand.
 t'What is it, dear?" asked Mrs. Bow ser as she opened the door for him.
 MT. Bowser made no reply. He sort of lodged out from under his hat and let it fall and roll down the hall and room and sat down on the couch with a weight that jared the chandelier Anything wrong, dear?' persisted Mrs. BowSer, who had dutifully fol- lowed him up.
 Mir. Bowser united and kicked his shoes across the room, and holding up HIS 6bOChLuSCu 16Sb JU ktLC u6 uUdISG- 1y whispered:
 "Look therel Holes, Mrs. Bowser- holes in my socks !"
 "Yes, see. 'em,' she calmly replied. -'You woke up ten minutes late this morning, and when heard you rushing around I wondered if you wouldn't make some mistake. You see''- "Yes, see,' he interrupted. ''I see holes in the heels and toes of these socks holes which have set me almost crazy all day long. That's the sort of house. keeper you are. That's the kind of in- terest you take in your husbands com fort and welfare. Nice thing if I'd met | with an accident and been taken to ! hospital, wouldn't it:'' "Where did you get those socks this morning?'
 "Wherei Wharel Why, out of the bag | in the closet, of course. You don't SUD- l pose went mp on the roof looking for 'em, do you, though they might have been there for all you knew." l ''Mr. Bowser, put those socks away three days ago to prevent you from get | ting hold of them until I could look them over. Why on earth you should go to all that trouble when you have four or five pairs in your bureau drawer is more than can tell. 7"
 -Four or five pairs in my bureau drawer!" he shouted. "Never! Not a pair, not sock, not even the heel of q sock. looked there, but nothing was to be found but an old hairbrush If this house was run on a system, Mrs. Bowser; if it wasn't left alone to run 4 GfSa1f r n1iuhf af 1oacR Tooir nf old socks without wasting half an hours time to look for them, but I've given up all hope. Is it any wonder have corns and bunions and varicose veins and rheu- matism? Is it any wonder I limp and
 100 years old?"
 For reply Mrs. Bowser went up stairs
 and returned in minute with five pairs
 of clean and almost new socks and held
 them up for him to look at.
 "Yes, know !' he said as he turned
 his head away. Probably had 'em un-
 der your pillow or hung up to the cell
 ing. I'm neither cross eyed nor near
 sighted nor an idiot. If those socks had
 been ill my bureau drawer, should
 have found 'em.'
 ''They were right there, MT. Bowser.
 You've had that same drawer for the
 last ten years, and there's never been a
 time when you hadn't clean socks in
 it"
 Woman !" cried MT. Bowser as he
 rose up, "am I the head or the foot of
 this establishment? Am I your husband
 or the man who cuts the grass in the
 yard?'
 "You are the head of the house and
 my husband, :" replied Mrs. Bowser "Then treat me as such! No wife
 should dispute her husband. When say
 there were no socks ill my bureau
 drawer, say what know, and it's not
 for you to stand up and talk back. If
 that were all-but it isn't! Look at the
 way I'm all bumped up like a blamed
 old camel! I haven't had my feet on the ground today"
 'Your trousers are too short" said ) Mrs. Bowser as she stood off and looked
 at his ankles.
 Don't know it, and how came they
 too short? Yesterday these trousers were all right: today they have been lifting , me off the earth! I found em in the bag with the socks, I suppose!' 'The matter is that you've buckled up your suspenders too tight. Why didn't you let 'em down!"
 "Yes, why didn't do this and why
 didn't I do that?" he growled as he
 walked back and forth and kicked the chairs aside. m give $1O, 900 reward
 for the arrest and conviction of the fiend l who got up in the night and meddled with my suspenders! But it isn't socks
 and suspenders alone, Mrs. Bowser-
 look at this collar!''
 ''I've been looking at it," she re- piled. "You woke up late, dressed ill a , hurry, swallowed your breakfast before
 got down, and the fact is you hadn t , half dressed Your collar wasn't but
 toned behind, and as a consequence has
 been up around your ears all day. Turn around here. No; it isn't buttoned. " "And why noe, Mrs. Bowser-why
 not?" he demanded as he stopped be- ) fore her and drew himself up. "Is my head filled with sawdust? Haven't ' enough common sense to button col ? lar on? Who got up in the night and
 an3''-
 Nobody got up ill the night, but you got up in the morning." she said as he
 paused to find words to finish his sen tence. "You must have something be- I hind your shirt bosom to make it puff
 out that way. We'll, if that isn't just like your'
 . She held up a towel before his eyes
 and gave it shake, and his face turned
 from red to white and back again as h.
 whispered: n "Mrs. Bowser, how-how did tha s towel get-get behind my shirt?" "You put it there, of course. Hav' a you any old hats, shoes, hair brushes O
 brush brooms hidden away under th'
 back of your vest or ill your pockets?" | "Woman-woman''- l. "Yes, I'm woman. You didn't turl
 the sleeves of your coat wrong side ou