The Washington bee. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1884-1922, 1895-08-31
BORROWED MIRTH.

He-"Your friend, I hear, paint.
faces beautifully" She-"Only one.
Syracuse Post.
What would you want first if vo,
nad great big fortune?s' Greedley-
A Digger one."-Chicago Inter Ocean
He-"Darling, there's nobody in thu
world like You" She-''Do you near
70 say l am a freak"-Boston Trans
cript.
Teacher-"What does your father
work at Johnny" Johnny O'shea-
de don't woik at nuttin': he's 2
policeman. See"-Brooklyn Eagle.
He-"Why are you forever ROASTING
Charley Henderson," She-"Simplv
because he isn't half baked. Boston
Evening Transcript
The new parlor maid-"Miss Alice
says she's not at home, sir" He-"Oh
-er-really! Then tell her l didn't
call."-Boston Budget.
She-"You say you love me- but
doubt 1t What you take for love is
merely a disease" -He-"I wish ii
were contagious. New York World.
why NStS D8 Smytne
hesitate so when he is talking? Has
ne an impeachment in his speech %
Dawson-"No; in his mind Brook
Ign Life.
Debtor-"I can't pay you anything
this month" Collector-"That's what
you told me last month"; Debtor
Wen, L kept my word, didn't ~
Tid-Bits.
The young man with Miss Millions
Is the one she is so in love with. -
Flo-"Ies. and now where is the one
she intends to marry T'-Chicago In
ter-Ocean.
tAlasr' sighed the sack coat, as it
looked up humbly to the silk hat
towering above it on the street II
fear | was not cut out for a gentle
man"-1ndianapolis Journal.
The gas-"You and L don't stand
much of a show when there are a
pair of spoony lovers around, do
WEI" The Iamp-'Nop; get turned
down every time. Buffalo Courier.
''Ths.t fortune teller must have
thought / was an heiress." ssWhy,
dear"' ''She said l was to marry
u.
indianapolis Journal.
Fanning-'Great Scott! You a lady
Killer Manning-"YeS Why, a lady
On the street ran up to-day, kissed me.
and then cried because | was not her
husband Life
Mr.. Hicks-"Are you sure that you
married HE for myself alone?" Hicks
-"Of course. Having your mother TO
live with us was not strictly an idea
Of mine Harlem Life.
Hubby-"Well, l guess I'll have a
shave" Wifey-"'Wait till Willie
leaves the room 1t is so hard to
break him Of bad words when once
he gets started ON them."-New York
Herald.
AuthOT-'Tm troubled with InSom-
MA. lie awake at night, hour after
hour. thinking about my literary
work" Friend-"Why don't you get
up and read portions of it?'-Tid- Bits.
Conductor stumbling in the aisle)-
Are these your feet, sir?' Passenger
Yes, sir" Conductor (Sarcastically)
You should have them checked. p.
& S. S. S. Co.'S Bulletin.
1lIIle Nlrl- on VIII nave 10 DGg
me a new waterproof, some oversboeS
and an umbrella" Mpther-"What's
the hurry Little Griffin invited
to 4 picnic next week.'-liood News.
Are you going away for the sum-
mer| asked the New York reporter.
WHY exclaimed th3 prominent poll
tician, anxiouSly. who's getting ready
TO investigate w:''-Wa shiDgton
Star.
First sweet young tling-"How can
you endure that lorrid Will Empty un?
He is such dullard." Second sweet
young thing-fYeS, he is a dullard,
but he is also dollared. Indianapolis
Journal.
DO you believe thai animal life
undergoes constant changes in the pro
cess of evolution?" Certainly.
Haven't all the young women you
knew last winter become summer
girls ?"-Chicago Record.
"Why do You say Drop down? No
thing can drop any other way" ayes,
my dear fellow, but only two days ago
you asked me TO drop up and call on
you at your apartments. "-Philadel-
phia Call.
Philanthropfst-'If l were to give
YOU this half dollar, what would you
say?" Everett Wrest-'Id say moth
ing and-Gee! But / come mighty
near putting my foot in it that time.
indianapolis Journal.