Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-10-04
TOLD BY A BICYCLE.

am bicycle.
Not such as, swept along by the full tide
of power, the conqueror leads to crimson
glory and undying fame, but plain, ordi
na-y-no not an ordinary but Il safety
bicycle for hire.
True, / am in good state of repair and
am as comfortable as my keepers can
make me, but am not dccked in ribbons
and nurturcd in commodiohs quarters and
ridden only by the aristocracy over smooth
pavements and for short distances.
never even had such luck when first
came from the factory. l thought | was
going to fall into that good fortune, but
man took me on trial-that is to say. he
took me on the installment plan and tried
to pay for me, but couldn't, and WAS
forced to return mo ut the end of n month,
and then was only good enough to go
among the hrclings, and there l have
staid ever since. Goodness me, how long
it seems since got the first wrench to my
steel ribs and had my frame skinned
against tree box!
was born n combination whecl-that
is, you can take out my spinal column,
and then | can he ridden by lady not in
bloomers, and thank my stars no boomers
IlilNt tNtI Ntu tilNtIbDtNl III lllNll
That time the man had me on trial, 1
think, was my most uncomfortable expert
Cncc for he was green at the business, and
so was l; and the result was that both Of
us got bumps innumerable, and, though
he camc out Of it with twisted knee and
II spraincd ankle, and u barkcd nose, and n
lame arm, and hurt back, and black
eye, with few other incidental casuali-
ties, | was nothing to brag of myself
That's why when ho had to give me up
they put me ON tho hircling list.
But | was experienced, and that was
something.
A bicycle has a good deal to learn when
it first leaves tho factory.
People who camc to hire wheels looked
little shy at mo aS | stood quietly in my
rack and then passed mo by, but not for
long. My keepers put new coat Of en-
amrl on me and otherwise put me in shape,
and thereafter | became quito popular!
Riders who had me out for u spin when
they returned would say they didn't know
why it was, but | seemed to be more in
telligcnt than other wheels they had tried,
and | was not half as liable to make a
sudden sworve and bang into a wagon in
the street or into gatepost or over
bank or to do any of the 40 dozen other
things bicycle is likely to do when the
rider is least expecting it.
OF course knew this myself and was
constantly trying to please, just as any
other public servant is for hadn't / had
enough of bang and batter with that in
stallment plan party? guess yes and
am sure aproperly regulated bicycle knows
when it has had enough.
Sometimes though, l couldn't help be-
ing little frisky. Once 1 remember an
athletic sort of II fellow took Inc out, and
for six mortal hours he pedaled me all over
every road in the suburbs, rough and
smooth, aud almost drove every bit of
breath out of my tires submitted be-
cause .couldn' t well do otherwise, but the
time of my revenge was at hand. He was
pumping mo along bit of pleasant coun-
try road where the shade would have been
very grateful to me if he had only run
along slowly, when he Caught up with
pretty girl on an awfully ornamental
wheel
l could hear him laugh with chuckle
at his luck, and he, sailed alongside of her
and began talking. OF course he had no
business to- but bicyclists that way are
not so extremely formal, and she talked
back at him, and it wasn't long until he
was entirely absorbed in the girl and was
leaving all the rest of the matter to me.
Then pricked up my ears and got ready, .
and all at once, when we came to good
place, took header into ditch The girl
screamed, the man swore, and 1 lay over
OH my side helpless, but happy. He and
rode home in a passing pie wagon, the girl
disappeared, and it cost him 81 for repairs.
! 1 don't know why it is; but, after some
years of experience, l am prepared to as
sert that fat woman weighing 200
pounds is just twice as heavy as n fat man
of the same weight. If some scientist will
explain this, he will do all of us bicycles
great favor. However, don't care very
much about it, because l made it con-
ivenient to dump the fat lady one evening
into pond of water, and she came so near
drowning that she has organized a crusade
against the wheel and has bought an inter
est in patent antifat remedy.
But there was another woman-ah, me,
what a delight it was to go flying with
herl She was dainty little creature,
light as fairy and strong as wire, and
she knew where all the prettiest places
were, and there we went together, and she
drew pictures of sylvan scenes while I
leaned up against q tree and watched her
by the hour. One day a handsome young
fellow wheeled by, and they nodded pleas.
antly, she blushing bit and he smiling.
Several davs after that thew came tC, Ely
Girls who use Ponds Extracts as an