The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1895-11-14

would that Corbett and FItz5lmmon5 were MIN
neSota lakes.
Is it likely that Coxey and Carl Brown sue
cumbed to the drouth' They haven't been
heard from for weeks.
**x
Let us do justice to a woman, though she
may be down. Queen Lii seems to have been
a very respectable. benevolent, well-,uling po-
tentate, compared to the Sultan of Turkey and
the Emperor of China. Her lotteries. opium
joints, gambling etc, were innocent and
healthy recEeations compared to what some OF
her brother sovereigns have been accom-
plices in.
Among tho numerous prairie fires out West
have seen none attributed to the burning
eloquence of the campaign orators
In his bulletin on Increased Foreign Mar
kets for Our Home Products" Secretary Morton
has very curiousy not mentioned the trade in
American heiresses
This time at least John sherma mas shown
himself the poor mans friend. He has placed
the price of his Memoirs at 500, which will
keep any poor man from reading them.
xss
Captain General Campos had several more
narrow escapes last week, in one of which his
cloak was riddled By bullets. For conquer
ing General on whose banners victory con-
stantly perches, he has an awfully tough time.
Conquering Generals usually are able to keep
tba 4, 4, Al - III.
wardrobes from constant danger. I don't re-
member that Grant. Sherman and Sheridan
all together had as many clothes ruined by the
enemy's fire as Campos loses every week or so.
x*x
Truth: First Tramp-It makes me nervous
to sleep in one of desc lodgin'-houses Sup
posin' fire WIZ to break out in de night?
Second Tramp-Dat'sso. Dem fremen would
turn hose on yer in minutel
x*x
A grave-digger's work is full of vaulting
achievements.
Constant Reader-No; "Ten Nights in a
Bar-room" does not run in New York now.
As long as Roosevelt is on deck they must stop
over Sunday.
s"#
1t is not singular that fast men get broke so
frequently.
d. B. Hill says that he is quite sanguine that
the Democrats will carry New York. have
an indistinct remembrance of the Senator's
making similar remark about this time last
year.
If JEFF Davis, Bob Toombs, ct al, had only
been as coy and reluctant about coming down
to actual fighting as Corbett and Fitzsimmon,
what world of trouble would have been saved
this country.
EInlira Echoes: I hear that you have broken
off with Miss Brooks. What's the matter?
Weren't your relations PLEASANT
Craik-O. yes; mine were all right. 1t was
hers that did the kicking.
80
Truth: She Ito her fance)--I heard an old
lady pay you great compliment yesterday.
He-Quite natural. What was it?
She-Sbe said you must be very bright man
to attract me as you did.
Inc agent OF lie insurance company In
Massachusetts, advertises:
Wives of smart men should remind them
They can make their homes secure
And departing leave behind them
Something solid, something
sSx
Truth: st. Peter-Well, are they all awake,
yet?
Gabriel-No, will have to blow again for
Life: The Wife-How did you come to pro-
pose to me, John!
The Husband-I wanted to be different from
other men, suppose.
The american: Probably a woman would be
a bride to her husband longer if she would con-
tinue making company of him. Most women
begin to save their jam for visitors when they
have been married three months.
Durrant in San Francisco and Holmes in
Philadelphia have been sentenced to be hanged.
They are long way apart now, but it is as
easy to reach their destination from one place
as the other.
The Cleveland Chamber of Commerce pro-
tests against long campaign next year. There
is no necessity for any. Peoples minds are
thoroughly made up now. They are as ready
for Presidential election tomorrow as they
will be next year. ] know at least one party
that will find any campaign that may be fixed
upon entirely too long for it.
x*x
Will not somebody move the previous ques-
ton ON Corbett and Fitzsimmons?
n.y.
Study Of the Church statistics develops the
surprising fact that the only part of the United
States where the Methodists have failed to make
an impression is Utah. They have less than
one per cent. of the population there, which is
an astonishingly small proportion.
-.
The Christian Leader says that lately clergy
man-an Irishman, of course,-made the follow.
in g astonishing announcement: Next Sunday,
in this church. the Rev. Mr.. - will renounce
the errors of Rome for those of Professionalism"
xsx
Life: Have you smoked that cigar / gave
your"
"No; the doctor says mustn't take any
violent exercise"
Mr.. J, J. Van Allen is of the superhne
Newport set, to which COL Waring belongs. He
is altogether too nice to mingle with common
people ain the dirty work of politics." but he
go 00O 70 Mr. Hiavaloud,c eapn-