The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1895-03-06
PITH AND POINT.

a man may run, into debt, but he
seldom comes out at anything faster
than q walk.-Texas Siftings.
They say when Cupid aims his darts,
He rarely ever misses;
Yet when he shoots Ut woman's hear, :.
IT'S then he makes the Mrs.
Syracuse Post.
Mans greatest responsibility in this
world is woman and she is kept busy
seeing that he doesn't shirk it
Puck.
Mr.. Broyn-"I've got cold or.
something in my head" Mrs. Brown
-"It must be cold, dear, I'm sure.
Judge.
The wicked flee when no man pur-.
sueth, so as to get into training for the
time when flight is necessary. boston
Journal.
Never put off until tomorrow the
man you can do to-day. His relatives
may come and rescue him. Boston
Journal.
"Do youlike golf?" asked the Phila-
delphia girl. "I'm really not sure
whether ever tasted any," gurgled
the Chicago girl.-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
Humorous Editor .-"You have car
ried this joke little too far" Sad
Humorist--"Yes, sir; that is why l
wish to leave it with you. boston
Courier.
A-"How do you know that Mailer
has come in for fortune?" B.
''Why, formerly people always said
he was crazy; now they say he's
original "-Lustige Blaetter.
zone of the advantages of college
life," soliloquized Reuben Wayback,
'9s, as he pulled himself out OF the
rush on the campus, els that you
meet so many people. Wrinkle.
Mrs. House----"Have you any idea
what the sapers mean, when they say
a man is dabbling in stocks?" Houser
---"Er-.-that he has gone into pool,
most probably. "---Bufalo Courier.
Duffy That's pretty bright dog
of yours, Jawkins." Jawkins---"Why,
yes; I believe that if he only knew
how to talk, he'd be smart enough to
keep his mouth shat !"---Harpers
| Bazaar.
Johnny lwho has jammed his fnger)
-."Plsgue take it," Teacber--"Oh,
johnny, you shouldn't say that!"
Johnny--"You'd oughter hear my
papa when he hurts hisself"-Boston
Transcript.
Wiggs (quoting)-" There's moth.
ing like leather you know, old boy"
Waggs-'' isn't there, though! You
never saw any of the pie crust that
our new hired girl turns out. som.
erville Journal. -.
Friend from the next street tic
happy father)--" -"Halloa, Jills; let me
congratulate you. l hear that you
have new boy at your house" Happy
Father--"By George! can you heal
him all that distance ?"---Tit Bits.
Arizona Pete -"What's that thing
that whiszed past?" Citizen-"A
trolley car" Arizona Pete-'1n my
country we sometimes hold up rail
road trains, but You bet we'd let that
blamed thing have its own way."-
Philadelphia Inquirer.
Her Yonng Man-"1--I-l, sir,
would like" Her Father -"Weu,
what is it, young man? Why don't
YOU stop mumbling? What have you
got in your mouth?" Her Young
Man-"I-I'm afraid it's my heart,
sir. "-Pearson's Weekly.
eff you must know, ma'am," said
the doctor, "your husband won't live
twenty-four hours longer" "Good
gracious!'' calculated the broken
hearted woman, land here you've
gone and prescribed medicine enough
for five days. "-Tit-Bits.
Judge-'I understand the plaintiff
is suing for horse" Attorney-"fes,
your honor, but there seems to be a
hitch about the evidence" Judge
"Well, YOU can't saddle the RESPONSE
bility on the court. Let the case pro-
ceed."- Atlanta Journal.
First Vassar Girl--"He said he could
not live without me--that l was, IN
short, sine qua non" Second Vas
sar Girl-'.And you said =" First
Vassar GirI--"Well, I gave him to un-
derstand thai he was not exactly per-
soma non grata. "--Harlem Life.
Married Man. "Why don't you get
married, Miss Perkins? You are get
ting to look like r back number
YOU will soon be an old maid" Miss
Perkins were as easy to please
as your VIE was, would have been
married long ayo."-Boston Home
Journal.
Mistress-"I don't know what I am
to do, Bridget, unless you get up
earlier. Breakfast is never on the
table when Mr.. Smith is ready for it. "
Bridget don't know, mum, unless
you can prevail upon Mr.. Smith to
have his breakfast an hour later. -
po,to,