The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1895-05-29

advice given by a father on one occasion t
his daughter He was concealed in the
shrubbery near the front gate. The younG
man stood beneath the waning rays of the
setting moon, holding the shapely hand:
Of the fair maiden unconscious of The
near proximity of the old man pleading
eioquently for q kiss. She resisted and be
insisted. The night air grew colder and
be grew boiler. till finally the old man
issued from his hiding place and spoke il
emphatic tones:
''sALLJE, KISS THE FOOL
and let him 90" Young man, beware Of
the territory about the front gate Dont
linger there. Cross it quickly, for, if you
escape all othor dangers incident to that
fatal spot, some mischievouS embryonic
brothcr-in-law may LIT loose the yard dog
on you Then you will havo to run, fight
or die.
If on the occasion of any OF your visits you
happen Ia sit down on some molasses candy
that little Willie has left on the sof, (whi!e
wearing your new summer suit for the first
time) smile, practice all the arts and de-
meanors Of moonShine life, and remark
that you don't mind sitting on molasses
candy ut all Be sure to say that boys
will be boys" Reserve your true feelings
and sentiments and file them away for
future reference They will come in ad-
mirably well in after years, when you want
to give Your wife one Of your profoundly
theoretical lectures on the proper way to
train children She will need your rich
store Of lore along that line, for she will
have all OF that work to do, besides looking
daily after you.
Whatever you do, don't be too soft !.
Cont say "These little hands shall never
do stroke of work when they are mine
and "Iou shall have nothing to do in our
home but to sit all day long and chirp to
the canarieS, as if any sensible woman
could be happy fooling away time in that
sort of style And you must remember
tl.at a girl has fue retnntive memory for
the soft things and silly promises of court
ship. and occasionally in after years, when
you bava lit cigar and have settled down
comfortably in the great-armed chair by
the stove TO watch the blue rinSlets of
smoke curl toward the ceiling while she is
washing the breakfast dishes or patching
the west knee of your pants or darning the
gable end of your socks with the darning
y.rn you grumbled about buying, she will
remind YOU of such moonshue chat in 4
cold, sarcastic tone Of voice, which will de-
stroy vour little game of watching ascend
ing ring!ets of smoke and send you to pace
the length of the front piazza, whistllnS
Your favorite tune to ease your conscience.
Now. young man, take these moonsh!ne tao
ties and lay them up in your memory.
Practice them then you will have nothing
over which to she'd bittsr tears in after-life,
and your wife will live a happy life even
down to Old age.
There are three things which, in my OBJ
servation, love moonshine--
RABBITS, LITTLE NEGROES AND LOVERS.
Ny earliest reco!lections of old plantation
life is coupled with the frolics of little ne
groes on moonlight nights. Every one
who las lived in the rural districts knows
how fond rabbits are OF capering around in
tie moonshine. As to the other class of
beings partial to moonlight strollS, I may
truthtulIv say that most Of US have been
there. beg pardon How naturally slang
late years, is becoming thing partial to
moonlight, and my observation leads me
partly believe it. am witness to this oc-
currence
4 mother, who had been raised under
the old regime, sat together. with her
daughter in the parlor Both of them held
diplomas from frSt-class female colleges.
Speaking of the attention some young man
was paying to some lady, the daughter
said "Ob, he's dead stuck on her." "Oh,
my child" exclaimed tie mother, don't
use slang. I think it very unbecoming IN
young lady" "Oh, well ma, the daughter
replied, things are different now to what
they were when you were hair-pin.
Everybody lets slide slang now" "Weli.
said the mother, 1T should not be so.
When I was girl young lady did not
dare to shoot off her mouth after that
stvle." "Well ma" replied the daughter,
with laugh, "girls were slow and poky
when you were growing up, and don't you
forget it" Well said the mother, heav-
ing sigh, well daughter, We got there
all the same anyhow
1t is said that the use Of slaug IS on the
increase in our female colleges. II tie
charge is true we may rest assured that 1t
stalks abroad like rabbits, p:ckaninnies
and lovers in the moonshine. Now, 1 do
not want to make q charge which can not be
sustained. but. as an speaking on moon
shine, I wish to place you on guard relative
to everything Incidental to that peculiar
stage Of human life. Besides, the Incl
dent which I have just mentioned l shall
adduce as proof pretty we'll authenticated
fact: Mamie" said Il grammar school girl
to member of the graduating class,
have you finished your essay" "Oh,
yes" gushed Mamie "and it is too lovely
for anything. 4 princess slip Of white
surah, the back cut off a little below the
waist-line. and full breadths Of silk
gathered in so as to hang gracefully over
the tornjere. and three bias rufheS on
the" why, what are you talking
about 2 interrupted her friend. 81 mean,
have YOU finished writing your essay, you
know "Er- no." said Mamie, her enthu
sasm falling below the freezing point IL
less than one second, "but have begun it,
and wish the old thing was in the fire"
Whats the subject!" "The curse OF
slang" "Gracious Isn't that a difficult
subject to write up?" Difficult? Well, /
should giggle. I'll have to hump myself
to get it finished in time for commence
ment. and I've a good notion to let it slide.
might shut op the professors optics by
, pleading illness, but I'm not that sort CT
hair-pin. But come. waltz up into my room
and look at my stunning graduating bar
ness It'll paralyze you.
With such flow of Sang at the fount-
aims of learning which, as 4 matter of
course, 90 far toward furnishing the chief
attraction for moonsline peram bulations, 1t
is easy to see how fourth clement may
enter into the hitherto secluded precincts
of mooushine life. Young man, beware !!
Keep your eyes open and catch on, fo- you
may as well be out of the world rs ont Of
the fashion. ii slang has entered the en-
chai,ted realm, You Gan not afford to be lg-
norant OF that fact. Make yourself a vo-
cabulary Of uncouth words and phrases.
Search the joke columns of county, State
and national newspapers, and fiji your
quivers with darts Of slang, for it may be
that Cupid is getting tired Of poetry.
There are many puzzling problems which
will cause vou much anxious thought when