Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-09-26
THE JOKERs' BUDGET.
JEsrs AND YARNS sv FUNNY
MEN or THE PRESS.
\ Clever Recovery Meant
MatrImony - Just Before the
Banquet, Etc.. Etc.
A CLEVER RECOVERY.

A CLEVER RECOVERY.
Miss valse-How much that
woman over there looks like
Chinese.
Mr.. Swain-You think SO? She's
my wife.
Miss V-Y-e-e-s. Her feet are SO
delightfully."- small, you know.
HE MEANT MATRIMoNY.
Count Penniless-My dear Mees
Banks, speak re word Eat will mako
me 20 happisst Of mortals.
Miss Banks-Money.
JUST BEFORE THE BANQUET.
Cannibal-Have You anything to
say before being dished up?
Missionary-Yes. / would like to
testify to the advantages Of a vege-
tartan diet.
HE HAD THE OTHER KIND.
Miss Take-Philander. who wrote
that charming song, Sweet Dreams
are Miner"
Mr.. Sinick-I don't know, but I'll
bet nine dollars it wasn't the man
who went two Welsh rarebits!
CoRRELATIvE.
Tommie was looking over the puz-
zle column of his paper. One OF the
questions was, How can you put
down nine strokes in such a way that
their total shall represent one?"
''Ho! That's easy" said he.
Nine strokes is about the size OF one
spankin. "-Harper's Bazaar.
EXPENSIVE LUxURIEs.
Goodfello-See here, Gayboy, you
are killing yourself here at your desk.
No man can stand working night and
day all the year round.
Gayboy-Can't help it. ] must
have money.
oodfello-Money You talk of
needing money. Why, you own one
of the finest yachts in New York
waters.
Gayboy--Yes, that's why need
money.
HAD TO WORK.
Rural Ragges-It's no use, Tatts;
I've got ter work"
Tramping Tatters-Land O. labor,
Roory, me boy! What's de matter
wild yer9 Are yer losin' yer intel
lec'P'
Rural Ragges-No; but swallered
yeast cake in mistake fer marsh
mailer
II wonder why so short man as
Bimley should marry such tall girl
as Miss Tupper?"
Probably the same reason that
induced Miss Upper to marry little
fellow like Bimley.''
GOOD FOR THE DOCTORS.
Wilkins-I wonder why it is that
the medical journals are beginning
to take an interest in the improve
ment of country roads.
Bilkins-I don't know, but have
heard that bicycling has produced
half dozen new diseases. -New York
Weekly.
BREAKING THE NEWS.
Cara--I wish knew how to get
out of marrying him.
Maude-So do Life.
NOT THERE.
what 1 want to know" said the
early oyster, is whether am to be
in the swim this season."
Not this time" said the cook, as
he scooped him into pattie.
ECONOMY.
This is very pretty for dollar"
said one fair shopper to another.
Eyes. I'm determined to have
one. But the price is too high. Lend
me ten cents for car fare and I'll 60
to Oddson's, where they sell the same
thing for 80 cents !"
GOOD DEFINITION.
Papa" said Benny Bloobumper,
what does the word sophistry
''Sophistry, Benny" replied Mr..
lis the other fellows
Judge.
MONETARY.
He was as pale as death.
No." the beautiful American was
Il will not marry YOU"
The scion Of noble race staggered
from the room.
Capital, he Kissed, as with the
instinct Of gentleman he clutched
the best umbrella IN the rack, lis
still timid, 1 see. Detroit Tribune.
IN THE MUSEUM.
The Candy Butcher-Ths glass
eaters got cholera morbus.
The Zulu Chieftain-Serves him
right. He ought to know enough to
let green bottles alone this time OF
the year.
ONE TOUCH OF NATURE.
Here" cried the war correspond
emit, petulantly, II believe you are
facts from me-"
The King Of Dahomey led him
aside
'The truth is" whispered His
Majesty, my amazons have reported
several engagements with. foreign
troops, but don't believe they care
to have them made public just yet.
You know how girls are about such
things Yes"
1t having been day Of triumph in
the gay CAPITAL, the monarch con-
6nad hin,eaIf I'm N club soda --Da-