The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1895-06-26
TOBE SPILKINS.
THERE SEEMS TO BE NO PROS
PERITY AT BONEY
FORKS YET.
"We've Got Lots Nv Prosperity
Kumin tn Us, But it Haint
Got Here Yit.

er, Hardy, Ark.
Mistur Editur: 1 hev .jist finished
stickin' the pees and kuttin a lode Nv
stove wood fur Creeshy and while I'm
restin, will rite fu lines. Thare haint
emmy harmony tn speak NV doun here
at Bony Forks-and, it il aulso proper
to staff, there haint emmy prosperity,
neither. We've got lots NV prosperi-
ty kummin tn us, but it haint got here
yit. The Dimockrisy here IL awful badly
mixed. Some NV it liz fur gold munney
and nashnul bank munney; sum Nv it
IL fur free silver; sum NV 1T il fur
hi taruff, and sum fur a 10 taruff, and
sum fur no taruff. There il only one
thino we kin agree on-that liz that the
Demikrats ort to hold aul the Offices
and dra aul the salaries. But he
kant agree an which Demikrats ort tn
hav the offices. The uther mite we held
harmony meeting up at koon-tail
school hous. There wuz speeches and
handshakin', and cheerin' and. every
thing tn maik Demikrat's hart glad
but whiskey. We appointed a kommit-
tey on rezolushuns, ad while it wuz out
we wuz enjoyin' ourselves mitily with
speeches and the like. 1t il good
thing we took our enjoyment furst, or
we woodent hav got it at aul. 1t is prop
per tn staff that the kommittey dident
git emmy Enjoyment. Tha wuz out over
a nour and when tina KUN in thar faces
wuz aul scratched up and thar close
wuz torn and sum had black ize and
swelled nozes. Thar had evidently bin
sum differences NV opinyun tn settle in
the kommitty rune, and the members
ences. When tina filed intu the rune
tina wuz doubtful lookin' site. Pete
Jones wuZ the presidi' offiser, ad when
he asked the kOmmitty if it wuz reddy tn
report it said it wuz. Pete then asked
the house if it wuz reddy tn reseev the
report We spit on our hands, and sum
wv us pulled oph our cotes and sed we
wuZ. Jim Duggins then red the report,
which wuz as follows:
Whereas, the Demikratick party pints
with pride tn it's past rekord and looks
with hoapful ize tn the future; and
Whereas, Thare IL sum difference NV
opiyun as tn what we ort tn du, which
leads tn diskord and fackshunal flies
within the party; therefore be it
Resolved, That we doant mead a plat
form with moar than one plank, as fol-
lows:
Resolved, That we ort tn hav the off,
ses and the salorize thereof.
Signed. Jim Duggins, Chairman.
Bud Larkin, Secretary.
Jim Ddggins hadent emmy more than
got the last wurd out Nv his mouth when
old 81 Ramey, WHO'D liz postmaster at
Boney Forks, got up and sed he OBJECTED
tn the adopshun NV emmy SIGH a milk
and waiter report. He ,sed it wuz in
favor NV sound kurrency, and he wanted
the whole wurld tn kno it. when l
sci postige stamps sez he, 81 want
mummy that il good in Yurrop, and not
q dishonest silver dollar only wurth
fifty sents.'"
Uncle Dan Roper sed ST wuz a gold
bug, and a cuckooo and tory. l doan't
know what else he wood have sed if old
ST hadent throwed a ink bottle at him,
and everybody got up and wuz gettin'
reddy to fife, except the kOmmitty,
which seemed to hav had enuff. But the
PRECEDENT picked up the poker and
cauledt him tn order be tina gor tu-
gether. After this a gard NV men wuz
appointed tn perfect each speaker while
he wuz talkin'. Sum wanted free sill
yer plank, and sum wanted hi taruff
plank, and sum free traid and sum
incum tax, and sum wuz opposed tn it,
and sum wuz for indorsin' Clevelands
administrator, and sum wuz opposed
tn it, and tina talked, and talked and
talked and coodent agre, and tina wuz
about tn git intu anuther row, when Ike
Hawkins, WHO'D IL a Populist, proposed
that tina git up sum Kind NV kompro-
mise. Now Ike is a bully good felller,
and the intlligentest man in the ma
berhood and everybody likes him, only
he is dad-durned Populist, and tina feel
sorry fur him. Ike sed it wuZent his
meetin, and he didn't hav ennything tn
ga in it, but tina wuz aul nabers, and he
tbot 1t wuz no harm tn suggest that the
report be referred back tn the kommitty
and then rite one that aul kin adopt.
But the kommitty turned pail and said
it 0den twant the report back emmy moar
and if tina wuzent discharged tina wood
resine, crawl out the windo and go home.
Then Ike suggested that a new and fresh
kommitty NV strong yung men be ap
pointed. This wuz finally agrede tn, if
Ike would help EN- git up the kbmpro
mise. which, he said, he wood du pro-
videdhedident hav eny fitin' tn du. The
president then appointed the kommitty
and after bein' out about nour tina re-
turned with the follerin report:
Whairaz, Thar liz SIGH wide difference
es Nv opiniyun existin' amung members
Nv the Demikratick party on the econo-
mick questshuns NV the da; and
Whairaz, These differences are Great
ing diskord in our ranks which IL likely
tn maik us luze the offices; and
Whairaz, We regard the offices and
the salarize as the paramount isshue in
aul campaneS; and
Whairaz, 1t liz not knone what kid
NV platform our next nashuna1 conven-
shun will adopt and it is dangerous tn
ga ennything fur feer we wood hav to
tax it back after that platform wuz
maid; therefore be it
Resolved, That whatever the Demi-
kratz du in their nashunal konveshun
In 1896 will be rite, and we hereby pledge
ourselves tn stand by it-silver or no
silver. taruff or no taruff, incum tax or
no incum tax.
Resolved that emmy Demikrat kin
talk fire silver aul he pleezes, provided
he will pledge hizself tn vote fur gold
bug if one IL nominated.
Resolved, That vOtin' the ticket il the
only test NV tru Demikrisy.
Resolved, That prosperity ort tn be
haro NV this time