The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1895-07-11
~Sprink1es of Spice.

4rliDy, IrllDy, give us your answer
true,
What in the name of goodness have we
eve done to you?
Town Topics.
Miss Cross-What would you do if
you were In my shoes? Miss Sharpe
Turn my toes out.-Yonkers States
man.
"Aw-why do you make your own
cigarettes?" "My-aw-doctor ordered
me to take some light exercise. Pail
Mall Budget.
Citticus-I wonder how it is that so
few women stutter when they talk?
Witticus-They haven't time.-Tam-
many Times.
Chimmie-Wot's de matter wild you?
Chonnie-Tm sick. De doctor says I've
got an ulster in my t'roat.-Philadel-
phia Record.
She-Tell me, when you were in the
army. were you cool in the hour of
danger? He-CoOl? 1 actually shiv-
ered.-Tid-Bits
The boy stood on the burning deck,
And said, "As I'm alive,
This weather makes me thing of June
In 1895" Washington Star.
She-What kind of a lawn mower did
you get, dearie? Hell got a feather
weight, darling, so you can push it
Louisville Courier-Journal.
New Arrival-Are all your room en-
gagged? Hotel Proprietor-Yes; but
there are Il lot of summer girls about
here who arcn't-Philadelphia Record.
Maud-That stupid fellow proposed
to me last night. He ought to have
known beforehand that should refuse
him. Marie-Perhaps he did.-Brook-
Ign Life.
"Oh, wed with me; oh, be my wife,
I'll be the sunshine of your life"
Sunshine. Horrors!' said the maid,
"Such talk at ninety in the shaded"
Indianapolis Journal.
Summer ReSorter-And is everything
on your farm nice and fresh? Farmer
Nice and fresh? | guess you'd think
Sc if you'd see some of our city board
ers.-BostOn Transcript.
First Sojourner-Do you always get
your meals on time here? Second So
journcr-Yes; | have to till some Of my
friends show up. Pm deucedly glad
to see you.-Boston Courier.
Miss Oldgirl-You must promise not
to kiss me while l an unconscious.
Dentist shall do nothing Of the kind.
Miss Oldgirl with a happy sigh)-Turn
on the gas.-Leslie's Weekly.
Experience in the worlds ways shows
That as a general rule
The politician who has the push
Is the one who has the pull.
Boston Courier.
Guest-By Jove, I've eaten such a
hearty dinner that | guess I'll have to
60 up stairs and sleep it off. Hotel
Clerk-In that case, we'll have to
charge you with a meal taken to your
rOOm.-Life.
what is the new boarder'S business,
Pauline?" asked the Cheerful Idiot.
Heisrunninga bicycle school" replied
the waiter girl. "Oh! Teaching the
young idea how to scoot, Is he?CCin-
cinnati Tribune.
Jester-Of course you've heard the
latest about Boozeman; he isn't drink
ing any more. QueSter-DOnt say;
we'll, that's to his credit. Jester-Oh,
no; 1t Is to his lack Of credit.-Rich-
mond Dispatch.
Mr.. Busyman-I have been summon
cd for Jury duty; how can l get of?
Lawyer-Oh, just let them see that you
know how much two and two make,
and they'll excuse you in a jify.-
Brooklyn Eagle.
He-I hear you attend the Handel
and Haydn performances. Were you
present at the 'CreatiOn?' She Qn-
dignantly)-I suppose you will next
want to know If | sailed in NOah's ark?
Boston Beacon.
"Fact u.s." said one man, 81 married
because | was lonely as much as for
any other reason. TO put it tersely, |
married for sympathy" WELL" said
the other man, you have mine."-ln-
%dianapolis Journal.
Willie S.-Mamma says She always
likes to call on you. Mrs. Twicken-
ham (highly gratitied)-DOes she, Will
lie? Willie-Yes'm. When she goes
away she says she feels so satisfied
with herself.-Brooklyn Life.
"But. papa" pleaded the impassion-
ed maiden, 'he is the only man | love"
That's right" replied the brutal old
man; Il am glad that a daughter of
mine does not love more than II nan
at Il me."-Household Words.
"Madame,' began Mr.. Dismal DaW-