Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-12-04
s,cycLE TALE NO. 1854.
The Duchess Is In a Dilemma, hut Makes
II III Right With the Duke.

pOSlt3tAif fCAS. N-s.S "sN
the greatest of great ladies, tull CT FIRE
and fashion, and with purple blush
,Ehe was born that color) flung bcnSly
Erlss around tine neck of her lord and
master The unfortunate man was
shocking euffcrer, having bad Mlearn-
cd increment and enduring constant
pain on account of his back being broad
or than his views.
''Pomposet," she cried. "Duky dar-
lingr'
(When first married she had ventured
to apostrop.lize him as ''duchy," but
his grace thought it infra dig, and they
COMPROMISED by omittinS the vulgar
"c.'D
"Duky," she said, raising pale, dis
tinSuished eyes to Chippendale mir
ror, ~ have made mp my mind.
"Don't!" expostulated the trembling
peer. lyon are so rash !"
''What is more, I have made up
yours"
"To make up the mind of an English
duke he remarked with dignity. IRE
quires no ordinary intellect, yet be-
lieve with your feminine hydraulics you
are capable Of anything, Jane.
(That his aristocratic rib should have
! been named plain Jane was chronic
! sorrow.)
Don't keep me in suspense, he con-
tinued. "In fact, to descend to IL COLO
quislism, insist on your grace letting
the cat out of the bag with the least
possible delay"
"As you WILL" she replied. "Your
| blood be on your own coronet. Prepare
for revelation. l have fallen! Not
once, but many times.
! "Wretched woman II beg pardon
wretched grande dame! Call upon De-
brett TO cover ycu.'
Il ain lnadly il love With
| "By my tafTeta and ermine. l
swear
peace, peace" said Jane. "Com-
pose yourself, duky-that is, Plantage-
net. Forgive tie slip. l am asitated.
/ My mind runs On slips"
The duke groined.
! "Horrid, awful slips"
With q countenance of alabaster he
{ tore at his sandy tcpknot.
~ have deceived you. l admit 1t.
! STOPPED TO folly"
! A supercilious cry rent the air Is the
duke staggered on his patrician limbs.
With womanly impulse, flinging caste
/ to the winds, Jane caught the majestic
/ form to her palpitating alpaca and, wa
! tering his beloved features with Ouch
/ essy drops, cried in passionate accents:
"My king Ny sensitive plant! Heav-
ems It's his unlucky back! Be calm,
Plantageues! 1 have-been-learning-
to-bike' There! On the siy3
The duke tapped a revivirS toe and
squeezed the august fingers.
i Il am madly enamorcd of-1ny ma,
chine"
The peer snootiied rralcd tcpkno:
With i,:sffable grace.
"Likewise ! AN determined you shall
take lessons. Now it is no use, duly.
mean to be tender hut firm with you. y
TIE potentate gave stertorous chor'
} tie, ard, stretching opt his arms, fell
in strawberry leaf swOon on the par
cuet floor, his drcal head on the lGp oi
! his adored Jaue.-Punch.
he Prepared Himself In Advance.
Colonel a. I. VoselsarG, the attor-
Dey. is regarded as one Of the Iest ra-
contours OF the legal profession. In the
Palace grillrcom yesterday he let out q
string OF excellent bar anecdotes. he
: said few weeks ago that Dennis Sper-
, Ger, the Napa luminary, was called up
: on by Chinaman one evening, when
! the following dialogue ensued:
; Zone Chinalnan kill another China
man with hatohet; how much you
charge make him clear?'
4 al II take the case, said Mr. Spen-
, Ger, 'for 81 GOO
"'AIlec right said the Chinaman,
3 I be back after while
"n about week he returned to Mr..
Spencer's Office and laid down 81 ,00O
in gold coin on his table. Mr.. Spencer
sw ept the money into the drawer.
"'Well, the Chinaman, he dead.
' "'Who killed him?'
| 81 did
"'When did you kill himT
j, "'Last night. -
There was some curiosity on the par,
Z of the audience for further light on the
G disposition Of the 1000, but Mr.. Vo
s gelsang Immediately SPUN off on to an
= other stcry-San Francisco Call