The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-06-13
HOW JACKP ROPOSED.

'It's no USE" said Jack, throwing
hi,::self into M most comfortable easy
chair, and looking the picture OF mis-
cry. "It's not bit of use."
"What isn't?" I asked. -.
'"rrying to propose to her," replied
Jack. 81.
"Why isn't it?"
Because can't" moaned, or rather
hoWled the poor boy, sayagely kick
Ing my waste paper basket over.
'Why can't youW
Because I haven't enough pluck"
Haven't you?'
"Oh, confound your aues.1ons" he
yelled, tumbling right backward in
his desperation. "Its bad enough to
be deeply in love with a handsome
girl and not possess sufficient courage
to put the question without having to
| submit to the cross-eXaminat ton Of a
Johnny who's reading for the bar and
wants to get practice in bullyragging
witnesses. I tell you, I won't answer
your Internal questions. say" con-
cluded Jack, standing up and looking
like one Of the witches in ''Macbeth,"
Il won't submit to it, =
"All right, old man, all right" l
said soothingly. Nobody wants you
to-"
"The fact is," said Jack, sitting
down again and assuming a sepuhhral
tone, eff don't bring it off, Ill-Ill-"
"NNhat?"
'|L'll die Of felo-de-se"
This was being legal with 4. 9en-
geance: Here was my dear chum, six
months since the brightest, happiest,
merriest fellow in London, deeply in
love with a young person called Cissy
Il don't to this day know her other
name. Jack never mentioned it.-and
in the depths Of despair because he
couldn't "bring it off," if I may use
his own terse' phraseology. We held
conversations of this sort about six
times a day on an average, but never
before had he threatened to-
1T shall be either by pistol or rope"
growled Jack hoarsely, and for the
moment I believed he was thoroughly
in earnest
1 thought I would try the cynical.
man of the world method and. scott
him out Of his foolishness, so said::
"tancy being knocked over in this
way by a pulling girl, a weak, silly
creature, who isn't even new WOm-
amp
Jack was all on fire in a moment.
"She's not a weak, pulling, silly
creature, and she is a new woman"
lie snouted,. forgetting for the nonce
that it is not altogether a desirable
thing to be in love with that feminine
novelty. $50 now"
Internationally I may ask, Why is
it that people always end up defiances
of this kind with those mystic words,
$50 now" Why is ito
"Jack," I said, write to her,
"Splendid idea" said Jack, who had
, been thinking of different ways Of
| proposing for six months, and now
hailed that of doing it by post as an
| entirely new and original idea. "Here
| goes, and thanks aWfully, old chap,
| for giving me the tip"
Selling quite a quire of note paper
Jack scrubbed and tore. up about
dozen proposals in writing. Then he
| turned round. almost crying, and said
| that he couldn't do it that way, and
he wouldn't, and he'd hang himself,
and perhaps then she'd be- sorry, and
and and-why was he born?
NY ucdT DoE, L Sdlu, laying my
hand on his shoulder in the. most
fatherly way imaginable, lets talk
over the matter quietly. Now, suppose
T propose for you?'
! NO" said Jack. "She'd think I
was afraid to ask her myself and re-
fuse me on the spot. No. 1 won't
write and I won't do it by proxy.
isn't there some other way? Why
| dnn'f
great, long idiot, il stead Of sitting
there and grinning all night ~
Now, 1 wasn't grinning. and 1 had
been suggesting things all the time.
so. naturally, I felt much hurt
therefore. curled up and was silent.
For some time Jack smoked savage
1y without speaking a word. After
about twenty minutes of this he laid
down his pipe and began in a very
apologize tone:
81 say"
'Well?"
Cant YOU think of any other way
of proncsing!'
swear a flower which means 4
love you.' A pansy Or crocus Or some
thing. Then, it she wants you she'll
wear one meaning Your sentiments
are reciprecated.'
Don't think much of that way
said Jack. know any other?
Now, 1 have never been in love in
my life, and never intend to be, and
so found it rather hard to give Jack
advice. However, I racked my brains
and ut length evolved this startling
method:
Propose to her through her father!"
ooh, you hopeless mass of imbecil-
ity!" yelled Jack, bounding up aud
grabbing his hat. How am 1 to do
that when she hasn't got a father?'
And he flung himself out of the
room in a towering passion and did
not come near me again for quite a
period. Well, how was to know that
the wretched girl hadn't a father?
Was I expected to keep a register of
all the births. deaths, marriages and
divorces which occurred in those fam
lilies which contained girls Jack was
in love with? No, thank you. I had
not quite come down to earning my
living by being a love registrar.
Well, you no doubt want to hear
how Jack did propose. In telling
you, I must give you plainly to I'M
derstand that I am only repeating
| what Too1- toll mo woc not on