Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-07-25
Let Us All Langh.

|
And for nibble beg;
Some use an old tin can for bait
And others use key.
Washington Star.
He-Pve q good mind to kiss you
She-You'd better mind what you're
about.-Boston Transcript
wymble-what is the coming woman
coming to? Slyler-Anything In the
shape of man.-Boston Courier.
He-You say they were both wealthy.
and married quietly? She-Yes. you
see 1t was simply love affair.-New
York Recorder.
Mrs. Hushmore-You'l have to settle
up or leave. Summer Boarder-Thanks,
awfully. The last place was at they
made be do both.-Life.
81 conclude that's fly" said a young
trout. you are right, my dear" said
its mother, "but never jump at con-
illusions. Household Words.
"You will notice that have you on
the string" said the boy to the kite.
eyes," answered the kite. "And that IL
what makes me oar."-Indianapolis
Journal.
Nell-Why did you marry that dried
up old millionaire? l wouldn't have
him with all his money. Belle-But he
said he would die for me.-Philadelphia
| Record.
Friend-If you can't live happily with
your husband, why don't you get d.
vorce from him? Unhappy Wife, am
afraid couldn't get anyone else.-Ncw
York Weekly.
The blossoms fill the fragrant dell,
But not alone the shades they like;
To urban paths they come as well,
For there are boomers on the bike.
Washington Star.
The Husband Seeing his wife off,
You must promise not to ask for money
every time you write. The Wife-But
that would necessitate my writing so
much oftener.-Life.
do you consider LITTER strictly hon
est?' Honest to fault. Why, he
told me without my asking that he stole
that dog he had with him last evening"
Boston Transcript.
| He-How do you like FOppington,
Miss Barrow? Miss Barrow-Not at
all. He can't pronounce his RS, and
do detest being addressed as Miss Bow
Wow.-Pearson's Weekly.
Mr.. Asker-They tell me that the
bookkeeper of your firm Is behind in his
accounts; is that so? Mr.. Tasker-Far
| from it, he came out ahead. It's the
company that's behind.1Pearson's
Weekly.
Clerk-Yes, sir! That's one of the
best clocks we have in the store. 1t
goes eight days without winding. Hay
seeds tibet so? How long do you
figure she'll go when you do wind her?
-Harper's Bazaar.
Lady-It is strange that strong man
like you cannot get work. The Tramp
We'll, you see, mum, people wants
reference from me last employer, an
he's been dead twenty years.-Philadel-
phia Telegraph.
Leading lady lat the tragedy theater)
Il don't like the new lover bit; he Is
such an ugly brute; and his playing! So
clumsy and awkward! Second lady
Yes. and he is married into the bargain.
-Illustrite Zeitung.
"Liz," said Miss Kiljordan's youngest
brother, "do you say woods Is or
woods areT" woods are, Of
course" she replied. "whyY "'Cause
Mr. Woods are down in the parlor wait
in to see you."-Chicago Tribune.
Maud-Were you overcome by the
heat, Mabel? Mabel-No, dear; was
Frustrated because l couldn't think Of
a new combination in soda favors; 1t
surely couldn't have been the seven
glasses had taken.-New York World.
Dicks a big man in the nation
DOM lots an lots o. BLOWN;
Jerry's plowin' the plantation
| Makes enough to keep Dick goin'i
Atlanta Constitution.
Farren-How much wealth do you
think q man ought to accumulate be-
i fore he can safely ask girl to marry
him? Kooler inspecting him)-It de-
ponds on the man. You will probably
have to accumulate million.-Chicago
Tribune.
Blobbs-I hope we have clear weather
Tor our trip. Slobbs-Oh, we will.
Blobbs-How do you know? Been read
Ing the weather predictions? Slobbs-
No; but have just bought new um-
Drella and mackintosh.-Phila
Record.
He-That's just like woman. She
can't view any question impartially.
All on one side, just as she Is on horse
back. She-Yes. John, and haven't you
been on every public question the same
way you ride horseback ?-Boston
Transcript
Theodore-Tell me, now, what Is the
meaning of the expression, pulling
your leg?" Richard-I can't tell you In
so many words; but l will illustrate.
You haven't SO about you that you can
let me have for a week or two? Thanks.
Boston Transcript.
did your boy do well In college, Mr..
Wilkes" VERY. He led his class In
Latin and Greek" Good. His vaca-
ton will be a pleasant one with the
consciousness Of having done so we'll"
"Well, no; he has to study all summer.
He was flunked on his Engllsh."-Har.
per's Bazaar.
Proof Positive.