Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-03-21
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO.
IN0S HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and JokcIcts that Are Supposed
to Have Been Recently Born-sayings
and Doings that Are Odd. Curious ana
Lauxhable-The Weeks Humor.
Let Us All Laugh.


isn't he? Treacle-Yes; but his hat will
get down over his mouth.-Springfeid
Union.
Judge-Your age, Miss? Miss Elder
-Thirty-two. Judge Ito secretary
Put down born in 1S32.-Fliegende
Batter.
Miss Dixby-Do you draw everything
larger than it really ought to be? ArtisS
Everything but my salary.-Washins'
ton Post.
'Your brother? I did not know that
you had brother" "Oh, yes; or, what
Is the same thing, have two half broth
rs."-Life.
First Beat-Wot yer doin' fer Twin
now? Second Beat-Workin'. f. B.
What? s. b. Same oil racket-Bos-
ton Courier.
No. 1t Is not proper to speak OF the
"modern woman" as ''the woman of the
age" Don't forget this.-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The man who signs for the happy day
When barefoot boy he run
ls the same old boy who used to say:
II wisht wuz a man."
philadelphia Record.
HAZEL can't realize, old man, that
you are father? Nutte-Can't you?
Come around and spend the night with
me.-New York World.
"Are you the boss hereY Mr.. Meek
ly-Do 1 look like a man that would
allow his wife to get along without
cook ?-Chicago Inter Ocean.
Carleton-Did you see much cham
payne flowing on your trip across the
ocean? Montauk-No; but l saw tre-
mendous Ice foe.-Brooklyn Eagle.
"Man wants but little here below"
Now, I'm inclined to doubt it;
He gets but little; wants pile.
And has to do without 1t.
Truth.
Hardup (scribbles) My dear fellow
couldn't U lend me v? Virgins
(scribbles below)-My boy, you must
think am J!-Harper's Bazaar.
"Have you named the baby yet?'
"No; but my husband has sent for three
sets of encyclopedias, and we may ar
rive at one before long.
Post.
SIS your sister succeeding well in her
elocution lessons?'' Beautifully;
whenever she begins to recite people
get up and leave."-Chicago Inter
Ocean.
Love laughs at locksmiths, so they say
But not at locks, that's plain.
For once grim wedlock shuts him in
He seldom laughs again.
Life.
Miss Waltzer-Let us have another
round before the music stops Young
dancer generously, but absent-minded-
-Er-certainly--on me, this time
Brooklyn Life.
"Ef women" said Uncle Eben, sam
ez contrary ez some folks 'clah's dey is,
de bes' way ter git 'em out of wantin'
suffrage am ter tell 'em dey gotter vote"
Washington Star
Miss Logan Square, suppose thistle
down is the lightest thing in the world.
Miss Diamond Street--Did you ever
hear young Lighthead try to talk?-
Philadelphia Inquirer.
cousin Ethel. is Col Blazer brave
SOLDIER" "Oh, don't think he's afraid
Of powder" mo, l don't think he is,
for saw his nose against your face
last night" Minneapolis Tribune.
'If you want to sell me an overcoat."
said the customer at the clothing store
decidedly. you'll have to show me the
heaviest you've got. am going south
for a few weeks. Chicago Tribune.
Old Player-When next you try you
want to forget everything but that you
are on the stage. Amateur Slippupp-
That was just the trouble; 1 did forget
everything but that.-Boston Courier.
Wiggles-w Why did they call it char
ity concert, do you think? Waggles-I
don't know. Possibly because 1t is so
often necessary to be charitable toward
the performers.-Somerville Journal.
Laugh. and the world laughs with you;
Yell and the world yells, too.
But you'll most always find,
If your rent is behind.
You will have all the grooming to do.
Atlanta Journal.
Cholly Chappey-I see that earrings
are coming into fashion again. Have
your ears ever been bored? Miss Caus-
tic-What question. Haven't 1 often
listened to your twaddle?-Syracuse
Post.
"It's all nonsense, dear, about we'd
ding cake. l put an enormous piece
under my pillow and dreamed of no.
body" "WellT "And the next night
I ate it and dreamed Of everybody
Life.
Old Drywater-My boy, In all creation
you won't find any animal except man
who makes habit of smoking. Young
Puffs-Yes, sir; but neither do know
any other animal that cooks his meals.
-Harper's Bazaar.
Tom-If you had the privilege of kiss
Ing a pretty girl on the right or left
cheek, which you do? Dick-It would
be hard to make choice, but between
the two should probably find wayy
out of the dilemma. Transcript.
"Trimmins has a first-rate voice."
said the critic at the concert. "but he
always comes In behind time" Eyes"
replied the man who lends money. II
guess it's force of habit. Trimming
notes are always overdue. Washing