Birmingham state herald., 1895-12-08
A TRAGIC RECITAL.
Or the Very Remarkable Episode in Alkali af Ike,s Life.

Or the Very Remarkable Episode in Alkali sf Ike's Life.
 Puck
 9 Adventures" modest1y replied Alkali Ike to the question of the inquiring young tourist from the east. "Eh-yah, I've had a few little scraps of one kind an another in my time, but nothing that you could really call adventures. Mach erh enough, bein a man of the world, I've been shot by the Indians four or five times, an stabbed an the like time or two by personal friends, an lost in few blizzards, an mixed up in an occasional fight, an narrowly escaped lynching twice for one thing an another, and tarred-an -feathered quite numerously, an run over and laYishly horned by about 1000 stampeded steers, an drug across the township with lariat-rope around my fool neck by own broncho, which had previously bucked me off and then kicked me senseless before I hit the ground, an pretty tolerably near brained with the butt of a revolver in the hands of a presidin' elder, an shot in the back by charming young grass wider lady for little suthin' or ruther, an branded by gang of drunken cowboys. an ripped an torn and sech like by several kinds of varmints; but after all thar aint nuthin happened to me really worth callin' an adventure"
 N~J 6oodhtSS. eJdCuldleu lHe lOuIlSlp If you do not call those adventures I should like to know what you do call them 9" @e- s
 "Awi" returned the modest Isaac; q reckon episodes is about the proper word. But, comes to think about it. thar was one little circumstance that hap pened to sne that mebby you might call an adventure. I was traipsing around in the mountains, the time I'm speakin of, With huntin' party, an one day I sets out up the canon alone, sorter look in for grizzly. I found him after a spell: I'm erawlin' along on narrer shelf of rock whur the side of the canon lowered up quite piece in the air above me an fell off on the other side in a sheer preeipice to the bottom of the gulch, about 1000 feet below. Well, bme-bye, I comes to whur the shelf ends against the plank wall, an I'm sorter figgerng on a turnin an erabbin back over the trail, when all of a sudden yere comes the grizzly I'm lookin' for, rumblin' round an elbow in the trail behind me, lookin' as pig as load of hay an as savage as a buZZ-saw."
 Good heavensi" exclaimed the listen CT, "how did you fee1?"
 "Sorter streaked, thank vel Thar was nemmed in like a cat in a bag, on that thar narfer shelf, with the snow-capped mountain above me an the roarin' catty- faet beneath me, as they say in stories with solid wall of rock before me an a rampin', ragin' grizzly bear behind me, gnashing his teeth a whole lot an growl- in shameful. The varmint utters a hidjus road an comes at me a-faunchin'. throws up my rifle like this an pumps slug into him, which same he don't mind no more than a sugar-coated pill. With one sweep of his mighty paw he knocks my gun spinnin into the abyss below, an nacher1 enough I begins for to pick at the coverlid an grow blue around the mouth. An then-Har? Whats that Hank? Why, shore yes. reckon you'll nave to excuse me now, MT. Eastman Hank Bitters is hollerin' for me to come over to the Red Light an take a little suthin' with him. So long! See you 9u But, heavens, man!' Tell me how you escaped There you were completely at the mercy of the monster who was on the point of devouring you. What did you do?"
 !. !. HAh! I jest stayed thar an let him deVOllr me