The San Francisco call., 1895-12-02

few Government advertising contracts,
amounting to some $85. AT odd moments ne
would assault the subscription books and yank
out the French and English mail-list, with an
occasional swipe at the Eastern subscribers.
This sport was mere bagatetle for Booze when
he was in liQuor, and by 2 o'clock in the after
noon he was beyond control. He once came
staggering in from the Heaven about 3 O'Clock
and found baby-carrage containing babe
drunker that day than ever, and at once pro-
ceeded to make friends with the youngster.
The fond mother happened to be out IN the
omposing-room, and Booze was master OF the
situation The presence OF the bottle gave him
supreme delight and twisting his tail around
the neck of the child he managed to choke
him off from very close association with the
food supply. The next instant the monkey
had inserted the nipple in his face and was
cleaning out the baby's meal at great rate.
In less space of time than it takes to tell 1t he
had removed the entire contents and had
heaved the bottle into the street. He then
made a few grimaces at the frightened child,
and after slapping him couple OF times for
his failure TO provide more milk, proceeded to
twist his nose and pull his sparse hair. Some
very effective howling about that time brought
the mother on the scene and Booze fell out on
the floor and made for the betting, into which
he managed to climb. No sooner had he To-
Gated himself in the shafting when the milk
and beer got in its deadly work and Booze was
suddenly taken with fit OF sea-sickness which
so dazed him that he fell off his perch into the
lnk-barrel, almost disappearing from view
lie was fshed out and looked like O tarred rat.
Several attempts were made to remove the
gelatinous substance and he was finally
treated to q lye bath, which proved a failure
benzine bath was then given him, and to-
gether with the ink his hair came out and he
was as bald as the youngster he had so uncere-
moniously slapped.
The shock Frustrated him for some days and
he managed to sober up, during which time
the genuine monkey began TO appear in all its
wild and unrestraired deviltry On one occa-
sion he got up on The cases where he had seen
the printers set type so often, and when no one
was looking he picked up handful after hand
full of matter set up on galley and began to
distribute it all over the case. He slammed 1t
in by the pound, and after each scoop of live
matter he would look over his shoulder to see
how it struck the office-boy. Both of them
thought it was an intensely humorous exh1bl-
ton, and i'll less than minute Booze had pied
two cases and ruined two columns OF local
news. For something like half an hour he was
chased around the office by the whole force
and pelted with billets of wood and old shoes.
He finally made his escape up chimney lead
for forty-eight hours without food or beer. He
was finally coaxed down anb forgiven, but I'M
med lately went into disgrace by getting drunk
again. One afternoon the editors wife came
in with small handmirror and laid it down
on the desc. 1t was wrapped in pink paper
and caught the monkeys eye. He took
possession Of and opened it 10 There Was Was
other monkey and made wild grab be-
hind the glass so as to reach the animal.
He failed in this ana then began series
OF discovery as the attempt to grab the oppo-
sition. He twisted the glass around and looked
under and over it. Several times he essayed
to get around the other side OF the mirror be-
fore the other monkey escaped, and finally
gave vent to his feelings by bringing the ar
tce down on the corner of chair with un-
derstood results. His heart was broken and
that afternoon he began debauch that was
the cause of his undoing. From TO o'clock
he camped in the Transfers Heaven and hit
the flowing bowl with unabated zest. After he
had drained the can to the dregs he came home
and staggered over to the stove, where he fell
down and went to sleep. On the following
morning he worked his way back to the Heaven
TO get bracer and found that the drippings
had not begun yet He walked around the
can few moments and returned to the Office
with fit of the snakes and trembling with
nervousness. By noon he was as weak as a
kitten and all attempts to revive him failed.
Shortly after that he passed in his Darwinian
chips and was buried with great ceremony
among the leading citizens in the back yard
who had tried to point out needed reforms in
the Appeal during political times.