The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1895-12-25
Clippings from Exchanges.

Clippings from Exchanges.
DUNRAvEN sets sail again to-day.
Alloy therel-Get off the ocean, every
body!-Ibed.
IN Norway and Sweden, before any
couple can be legally married certif-
Gates must be produced showing that
both bride and bridegroom have been
duly vaccinated.
The lady complained that she had
found three gray hairs on her head.
The gentleman CALAMITY replied that,
so long as she could count them, they
didn't count.
A NATURAL BEAUTIFIER. - Karl's
Clover Root Tea puriies the blood and
gives a clear and beautiful complexion.
For sale by w. E. Terrill & Co., Mont
pelier, Vt.
A GENTLEMAN considers bis daugh-
ter thoroughly equipped, both from a
classical and domestic standpoint; and
cites as proof the fact that she has
translated cookbook into Greek.
LUsHER had to 90 home sober the
other night, because his wife said she
wouldn't let him in without the pass
word, which she gave him as ire
pressible prehensibility.'
KARL's CLOVER Roof TEA is a sure
cure for headache and nervous dis
eases. Nothing relieves so quickly.
For sale by W. E. Terrill & Co., Mont
pelier, Vt.
AoHARMINa young lady named Hannah
Slipped down on peel of banana;
gentleman ran to assist her,
And picked up her muff and her wrister.
Did you fall, ma'am?" said he,
Did you think replied she,
Il sat down for the fun of it, Mster?"
HoBsoN-" Why does Newpop call
his night-lunch cafe The Baby's
Mouth?' That's funny name" Jobson
=" Because it's open all night"
PERRY PATETTIC-" Mister, kin you
give me dime?" None of my good
money goes for whiskey, my friend"
I" 1t don't? How do you work it?"
ITSAvEs LIVES EVERY DAY.-Thou-
sands of cases of consumption, asthma,
coughs, colds and Group are cured every
day by Shiloh's Cure. For sale by w.
E. Terrill & Co., Montpelier, Vt.
THE young lady was crying in front
of d" Romeo and Juliet" when her prac-
teal father gently reproached her, say
ing, "They amt to be pitied-they
make a good bit of money out of IT,"
Lost a small calf, his two behind
legs is white. He is a she calf. Every
body who finds him gets five dollars"
A Dutch farmer posted this in Penn
sylvania tavern, and the advertisement
10 pODiad harp without pbarup
A FACT WORTH KNowING.-Con-
sumption, la grippe, pneumonia, and
all throat and lung diseases are cured
by Shiloh's Cure. For sale by w. E.
Terrill & Co., Montpelier, Vt.
TEACHER of class in civil govern
ment-" OF how many bodies is con-
gress composed?" 1.-TWO" "What
are these bodies called?" "The house
of representatives and "-hesitating-
" and the house of correction"
mo man. remarked the youth who
would be oracular, "can achieve sue
cess without achieving enmities."
s. Certainly" assented the cornfed
philosopher. Gwen if there is no one
else to be at enmity with, he is bound
to hate those who helped him in his
struggling days"
THE ILLS OF WoMEN.-Constipa
ton causes more than half the ills of
women. Karl's Clover Root Tea is
pleasant cure for constipation. For
sale by w. E. Terrill & Co., Mont
pelier, Vt,
IT seems like the irony of fate that
Lord Dunraven should have to put
back in his own waters by the over
crowding of ships in the line of his
voyage hitherward. We trust that his
lordship has filed his customary protest.
Boston Herald.
A YOUTH, to fortune and to fame un-
known, sent Dumas the manuscript of
new play, asking the great dramatist to
become his collaboration. Dumas was
for a moment petri6ed. How dare
you, sir, propose to yoke together
horse and an ass?" The author, by re-
turn of post, wrote: How dare you,
sir, call me horse?" Dumas, by next
mail, "Send me your play, my friend !
A CoLoRED lad recently asked gro
cerymau for a match to light cigar
stub. We don't give matches away,
here said the elicatessen-purVeyor
shortly: "we sell them for cent
box" The ebony youth handed out the
required price, took one of the slvtrs
of civilization, lighted his remnant, and
handed the box back TO the vender.
" Mex time gen'Pman asks fur
match, give him one out o. my box" he
said, with dignity enough for hotel
clerk; and strolled up the street.