San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1895-09-08


agined it to be so.
If a book had run the gauntlet
of all criticism, whether of approx,
al or disapproval, if it had great
sale, just on account of Its utter
worthlessness, catering to the per-
verted taste of the fashionable
idle samplers OF all unwholesome
and revolving literature, then. it
was a hook for her to uphold and
to praise, and was to the in
dependent mind that dared to diff
fer with her in regard to notoriety
and worthiness of such book,
her dictum was to be law, so
she concluded. All others were too
slow and far behind the times to
be able to to appreciate a bad, but
fashionable thing and call it good,
because it had gained fashionable
notoriety. She was in the habit Of
having her friends around her at
home to o'clock tea or a quiet
game of whist, or attending her
very cherished whist club, at all
places where she could air her fads
and her mission.
After she had once taken hold of
the Idea and decided that it would
be of immeasureable good for the
cause to procure suitable wives for
the four newfledged Rev. pigtails,
she put her mind and her wits to
work, how to accomplish 1T. She
had of course many lady friends
among the idle, fashionable, ease
loving members of the church to
which she belonged, as well as
others that did not walk in the
holy light OF the Rev. Theophilus
Buncombe ministratrations. She
could and did count at least a
dozen single ladies, varying from
the ages of twenty to forty, whom
she considered fit and proper SUBJ
iects for her matrimonial project.
After deliberatering how to pro-
coed, she hit upon the plan, to give
a grand tea rarty, kind of holy
missionary Jeopardy, to which she
would invite everyone Of her lady
friends, that she considered as fit
for the great honor intended by
her for them, to become pious
helpmates to those pious almond
eyed Reverends besides she would
invite few enthusiastics like her.
self, that would be willing to assist
her in any absurdity she might
propose, just for the sake Of assist
ing at something, that would be
new or odd, no matter however re-
voting to pure minds, il it was
only sanctioned by the worthy Rev.
Theophilus Buncombe.
She would invite this beloved
pastor Of hers, and place the whole
undertaking under his leadership
and benign and holy influence, and
assisted by his sanction of it and
exhortatIons and her own unlimit-
ed argumentative persuasion, she
did not doubt, in the least, that her
great undertaking would be
crowned with the success its high
aims deserved.
She accordingly sent out invita-
tions to all those that she deemed
worthy or useful for the great OBJ
ject and on certain day her par
lors began to fill with select as
sembly Of pious women and men,
all imbued with the hottest desire
to do their share to sacrifice four
young ladies to the moloch Of sup
erstition and hypocrisy, common
ly known as foreign Missions.
And now we will try to describe
a few of the main personages OF
this remarkable missionary mat
rimonial Jeopardy.
First the immaculate Rev. Tbeo-
philus Buncombe with the mien
OF a saint, (but not Of a fasting
hermit and the heart of Brigham
Young. Next the four newbacked
missionaries, the Rev.
Chang Wang, Rev. Wung Chung,
Rev. Hi Long and Rev. Ho Ling,
in their most gorgeous celestial
robes of silk and felt shoes; Mrs.
Amalgam having de-
cided, that it would be the pro-
per thing for them to appear in
the costume in which their future
spouses would be apt to see them
most, after they had reached their
field of action in China.
First among the lady visitors
that graced this teaparty was re-
markedly well preserved single
lady, who owned up to the mature
age Of twenty-five years, but whose
youthful ways and perfectly youth
full garments did not fully detain
the unbiased observer to think,
that she would never see forty.five
again. She was very girlish, gush.
ing and demonstrative in her man.
ner, and more especially when the
Rev. Chang Wang happened to cast
his slanting eyes in her direction,
or as he once did speak to her as
'his velly glood mclean flend Miss
SoftlyO She WAS very enthusiastic