The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1895-10-25
SOME PLAIN FIGURES.

a Waste of Food Product that Nesds oaly
to BE Understeod to he Appreciated
A spare, nervous-lookinR man, Ar
rayed in a rusty suit of black and
carrying small valise in his hand.
went into one Of the leading b. tells and
addressed himself to the clerk
~ see you use q raw potato as pen
wiper" he observed.
Yes" replied the hotel clerk, who
happened to be atleisure and in q mood
to be gracious. 1T is as good as any
| thing else. and keeps the pen from cor
roding"
asked the stranger, leaning forward
and speaking in q confidential tone,
''of the proba BILE effect Of the general
adoption of the potato as Q pen-wiper,
or rather a pen-sticker?"
81 don't think have" said the clerk.
at is worth your while. sir, ;" rejoined
the man in black, speaking earnestly
and hurriedly.
IT here are in this town to-day prob
ably not less than two hundred hotels
that habitually use potatoes to stick
their pens in. Each one takes a fresh
potato every morning. That uses up
two hundred potatoes q day. In q
bushel there are about one hundred
potatoes of the size of this one you
are using. That makes two bushels .
day, or seven hundred and thirty
bushels a year. Do you begin to
see"
my friend
wait a moment That is merely
the beginning. 1 have spoken only
of the hotels The use of tho
potato as pen-sticker is grow
ing constantly. It Is spreading to
mercantile establishments. Imagine
what will be the consequences when
the hotels, and stores, and Offices Of
this town use up one hundred thou
sand selected potatoes every day!
Think of it! The enormous total Of
thirty million five hundred thousand
potatoes, or three hundred and sixty
five thousand bushels in one year. in
Chicago alone! And every blamed po-
tato gone to waste! A potato. sir. is
no good when it is stuck full of ink.
1t is rendered absolutely valueless,
Imagine, if you can"
Say, are you"
mo, sir, am not Mayor Pingree in
disguise. 1 am not potato enthusiast
i am a plain citizen with head for
figures and the figures to show for 1t.
With a view of doing what one man
can do to prevent a custom Thoughts
lessly and inadvertently adopted from
becoming a national calamity" he pro-
ceeded, opening his valise, II have i'm
vented little arrangement of wood,
leather and tissue paper. 1 call it the
Comprehensive pen-wiper. 1t is. as
you see, very much moro ornamental
than a potato. 1t is cheaper 1t in
wolves no waste Of q useful food prod
uct Renewed once a week, it will last
year, at total expense Of"
II don't want it"
AT total expense, was about to
say"
Il don't care what the expense is I
don't want it."
You don't, hey?"
mo. 1 wouldn't have a car load On
them as a gift"
"Ob. you wouldn't You don't care
how soon there comes q shortage in
the potato crop and the price runs up
to ten dollars bushel! That's the
sort of man you are, is it? You're will
Ing to 60 ahead and plunge the coun-
try into a potato famine, are your.
Rather than spend twenty-five cents
for useful invention you'd see the
whole darned country starve, would
you? A man. sir. that will stand right
up in the face Of facts and statistics
a man that can't be reached BY figures
and doesn't care for fgures-is a man,
sir, that would have committed the
crime of 1873 if he'd had the chance.
That's all. SIR"
he put the comprehensive pen-wiper
back in his valise. shut the latter with
q loud snap, and with a look of lordly
scorn strobe swsy.-Chicsgo Tribuna