The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1895-08-03
PlTH AND POINT.

81 had rather believe all the fables
IN the Talmud and the Koran than
that this universal frame is without z
mind. Bacon.
-she-"Alen think they know every
thing" He-''Well, il 1t wasn't for
that the women couldn't fool them. ~
Detroit Tribune.
The arrows of sarcasm are barbed
with contempt 1t is the sneer in the
satire or ridicule that gals and
wounds.-W. GLADDEN..
Male Inquisitor-"What page Of
the women's paper did the women read
frst?" Female Philosopher 1.-The
mems ge."-Buffalo Express.
You say the colonel is a great
military man?" "A perfect hero.
whats his record?" Seventeen oaths
minute. Cleveland Plain Dealer
-Bookkeeper-'tI see by the paper
that our customer, Scudkins, is mar
ried." Fashionable Tailor-''Indeedl
l. shall be sorry to lose him. "-Clothier
and Furnisher.
We can't tell You, Constant Reader,
what days are considered unlucky to
be married on. Authorities differ; some
say three hundred and sixty-five.-
Philadelphia Record.
Sub Editor-"How is Pennington
on spelling, anyway" Editor-"Well.
he is little too quaint for ordinary
English, and not quaint enough for
dialect. "-Somerville Journal.
--Watts-"Did you try the hot-water
cure for your cold?" Potts--"Yes. 1t
is simply great, too. You see, mixed
it with little whisky and lemon. and
I never had anything to slip down so
easy."-Indianapolis Journal.
I'm all my career, !" said the eminent
statesman, "I'can say that have never
done anything to be ashamed Of" You
mean," sneered the cynic, "that you
have never done anything you were
ashamed of."-Indianapolis Journal.
Chess and the Mind.-Mr. King
do you think, as they are now dis
cussing, that chess has an injurious
effect on the mind?" Mrs. Qucen-''In-
deed, do. If had to keep as still as
chess player does, I'd explode. De
troit Free Press.
10, papa, what makes old Mr..
Grabenheimer walk so stoop-shoul.
dered? He looks like a horseshoe. !"
IL have heard, my SON, that many
years ago, when he was . very little
boy no bigger than you are now, he
f<,,rJ con<
Gypsy telling an elderly coquette's
fortune from the lines of her hande
II am sorry to tell the young lady
that she will pass through serious
illness in her twentieth year" Lady
"eood gracious!" (Sighs and gives the
gypsy dollar. l-Fliegende Batter.
--Tommy-"Paw, what is an ego
tist?" Mr.. Figg-"He is a man who
thinks he is smarter than anyone
else" Mrs. Figg-.My dear. you have
thought wrong. The egotist is the
man who says he is smarter than any
one else. All men think that way
Indianapolis Journal.
Fist New Woman-"That Mrs.
Umphry is horribly lacking in man.
ners." Second New Woman-"What's
the natter" First New Woman-'I
saw her in a street car the other day
when a number of gentlemen entered,
and she never offered to give up her
seat 20 em."-Chicago Record.
Chicago Wine Comes Cheap.-Cus-
tomer-"A table d'hote dinner, includ-
ing bottle of good wine, for seventy.
Ave cents? Yes, that's cheap enough;
but don't care for any wine and l
rant afford it. How much will it b
without the wine?" Waiter-"T'll do
what's right with you, boss. You can
have the dinner without the wine for
seventy cents, sab. Chicago Tribune.