New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1895-03-03
SOCIAL NOTES.
THE CARD QUESTION ONCE MORE-MR.
p,.,INr AND MR.. GLADSTONE A
MYSTERY OF CARD ETIQUETTE
WASHINGTON ETIQUETTE-VlS
IT'S AND CABINET DAYS

intricacies Perhaps YOU have TO inherit these
ATTITUDES or to move continuously iOr some year.
in the sphere In which exact knowledge vi SUCH
matters is a primary requisite OF social eAIS'e"'''
How otherwise are yot to understand loi 'N-
ample. the true reason for the omission OIL 'he
address on the card Of the young man ~ NV
period? To omit IT is. am told the smart tn"s'
rho theory seems to be that everybody In soci-
Of, Lnovs whore every body else lives. a card IL
no, for information or convenience but for ele-
ranco If that be 3d. WHY have cara "' "'''
If II r. to be assumed that your address ~
known why not assume also thht the '''' ""'
been left, OF that the Intention OF l'aN'nN Wv
had been formed. and so the social "phRo''o" WI
the oavcr had been duly Acknowledged WY
not take Il all for granted? hut To '"N' '""N'
for granted H. as remarked the "'h'' ""S' VIZ
note OF London. not of Ncw-i"rN
Hut though the address ~ struck on 20" "'
not sparcd n single initial Of the smart young
- l,,sowbore ,hnn on cards IL observablc(
., Amcrica a taste for wcarsomc particularly
1, tri,ioIs The newspapers. To the day OF MS
doath and after his death. used t. talk OF James
G. Rloine. with the Mr. omitted. There seems to
be n theory that II you give mans CHRISTIAN
name and the initial Of his middle name you are
dispensed at least in print, from the ordinary op-
legations of civility. How would 1t answer III
private life. what woild be thought II
stranger or acquaintance walked up To MT
Choate and said; How do YOU do, Joseph H.
Choate?" Yet are the obligations of civihty less
in print than In private? Mr.. Blaine mad an
ferent feeling about such matters in private
though / suppose politics might nave STOOD IN
the way OF any public expression OF his opinions
on n mere question Of etiquette. lie put on MS
cards MIR. Blaine" simply;-no Initials mere
was but one Mr. Blaine So. in TINS country
"Nr Gladstone" Is thought 10 identiiy the III
dividual sufficiently. There is but one MI "iad-
Stone and his card bears that inscription. and
no more But of the smart Joneses ana SHli'hs
Of the. period. in New-York and elsewhere, there
are several and initials are therefore useful as
addresses would also be- if the smart young
Io,os should on reflection condescend TO add
bis He can hardly be expected 10 take mint
from newspaper If the newspaper always calls
hin, Homes or John ] Jones. 1t has always
been dificult 10 understand why a newspaper
which is the censor of morals and manners
b0th should think itself privileged IN manners
on think bad manners good
London is in truth. much less advanced III
some respects than New-York. The Enghshhiah
in his social capacity is not easily surprised y!
ANYTHING but ne might be surprised II d lau!
left her card on him. He might be sui more
surprised IL he received cards from TWO laoies'
hoth unmarried and even If II were explained
.b him that he was to consider himself invited
nv one OF these ladies to be present al an AFTER
mon tea IN order to witness the coming out OF
the other lady. Ceremonies OF That sort are saiu
10 be not infrequent in New-1ork. lhere Is io
raoson in the nature Of things why invitations
should not be sent in that way. IN 90 not
com, from the advanced or new" woman but
nd Ap1iY
Nor do know that the Londoner would criticise
tho method nor that 1t is open TO criticism. he
would simply say to himself that they did Things
a,t,arortlv IN his mart Of the world Which Of
the two ways is best Is an open question Ana
NJ course even in London ladies do send cards
20 gentlemen: but they are cards Of invitation
merely and not visiting cards
Washington etiquette seems TO be Still more
severe than that of New-YOrk Cards, certainly,
and a great many of them. but also visits ana OF
them also many. 1t appears that the men IN
Washington are much occupied with politics ana
other trivial matters, so that 1t Is LETT 10 the
ladies to transact most OF the really important
business Of life. The ladies call upon each other
in a spirit OF cOnscientousness which cannot De
too much admired. To omit to return WISH
,s OF course ar offence. But Il must not only
be returned; IT must be returned In particular
way and in strict obedience 70 a code compared
10 which that Of Draco was lax. The visitor
informs the visited that she Is at home on
certain dav. There may be many visitors at the
same time; the day Of each must be rernem-
bered and the visit repaid on that day; under the
most awful penalties for omission or mistake.
AS training for the memory this system has
great advantages. A tragic story was whispered
in Washington. A lady perhaps from the Far
NraS mi called
on another day, and. Mrs. Smith being Of course
ont bod left cards They returned TO her
nv most. Whether the husbands were dragged
into this feud and bloodshed the result, | know
not.
Az there are but seven days in the week-in-
decd I suppose only six for visiting purposes
MANY ladies must receive on the same day
Hence perhaps the existence Of the institution
known as Cabinet Day, when the wives of Cabi-
net Ministers all receive, and seven or eight or
nine visits must be paid between certain fixed
hours OF the same afternoon human nature as
serts itself on these other occasions. The
law is memorable, but in practice there are miti-
cations There are two doors The hostess stands
AT one The guests enter by that door, are re-
ceived. pass on, and forthwith pass out by the
other. The reception becomes procession. Thus
IL is found possible 10 do the whole NUMBER OF
obligatory Cabinet visits within the prescribed
hours Of the same afternoon. The essential thlng
IT, in the phrase which the politest nation In the
world have invented for such purposes, fare acte
de presence. Having done that. you 60 home
with a clear conscience. 1t is not intended that
either hostess or visitors should derive pleasure
from the performance. any more than from
fagellation or wearing hair shirts. Flagellaton
and hair shirts and Cabinet Days were not in
vented for recreation. They are for modification,
or for repentance. or at Washington, for the
satisfaction Of the social conscience.
The influences which prevail in American
cety, far they are not aboriginal. are
French. OF English influence there is little no
trace. Whether NJ Paul Bourget noticed this