The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1895-06-21

HIS ETIQUETTE DEPARTMENT.
that, after almost superhuman efforts to
borrow mo- ~ for the payment of my in
come tax N April, / was obliged to
write the president as follows:
Colonel Grover Cleveland, Fearless Executive
and Fisherman of the United States:
FRIEND CLEyELAND-I am mortified almost
to death to write you, making what is called
tpoor mouth regarding the income tax and
my failure to put up same. At this writing OF
course have slender hopes that the act will
be repealed declared ungrammatical by the
supreme court, but in the meantime have
been repeatedly dunned for same, and only to-
day have had the courage to write and ask
you to give me time. If it will be the same to
you, / am willing TO assume part Of the ma
tionsi debt paying it as ii falls due in 90 or 40
years, but TO realize at once on collateral or
other property during this metallic stringency
Is quite impossible.
The government is fully aware that have
been a stanch friend in time of sore need
Yet have never asked the United States for a
favor. IL now my income tax should be allow
I'd to become delinquent and be advertised, it
would hurt me with people who are now cheer
fully supplying me with rump steak and other
delcacies.
Mr. President, Iwould not take up your time
In this way if 1 had not on every occasion in
season or out OF season stood by you. You can
have no idea how many times my voice has
been heard in your defense. even though do
not belong TO your own party. Time after
time have fought for you against overwhelm-
ing odds when prominent Democrats, whose
names can give il necessary, have called you
Ia biggety, stubborn, malignant, typhoid ca
Iamity.''
/ don't know how many times have been
Four defender to the neglect of my own bust
ness. / have said both at home and abroad that
,ad 70 he III HAY
10 enjoy better health also.
Now, as say, If my tax can be made pay
able after get to lecturing next winter, or if
you could sign q note with me that would be
accepted at the interior department, l could
give you a second mortgage ON a good cottage
organ which am paying for in eggs 1t has
pedal, vox humane stop, flute, piccolo and ire
nlolo stops, and the agent also stops with us
when he is coming this way. tShow this to
Mr. Lamont III bet he will laugh.)
Please write as soon as possible and relieve
Che intense strain which is now rapidly max
ting q middle aged man of me. Yours truly,
E. ". NYE.
P. S.-We now have at our CHEEKY home three
dear little girl babies of the same age. The eld-
est have named Frances, the second Ruth and
the youngest Esther. / saw in the paper where
you sent $500 to "A set of triplets IN Illinois,
who were named after your family, but think
that was too much. Three hundred dollars
would be ample, / think, and thank you very
kindly, Mr.. Cleveland E. w. n.
But 1 have received no reply and
would go on to Washington if 1 felt at
all sure of finding the president there.
However. let us hasten to answer some
of the questions to which I referred
some time since.
Nora, Escanaba, Mich-Grape seeds
are removed from tho mouth with the
fingers. Yoar fiance did perfectly right
i'm reproaching you if you blew them out
of the window, for you might have put
an eye out for some casual passerby.
Maud, Newport-in-t he-Neck, r. l.
You doubtless offended the duke by
snickering at him when he filed his cof
fee cup full of mustache, coming OFT
only to shake himself like big. damp
dog, or big, damp fool, as the case
may be. American girls who cannot be
dignified during the cuttings up of
duke are not suitable society for high
bred mendicants from over the seas. Fie,
Maudie! Tut, tut / say. It's queer TO
me that you cannot tut!
Eleanor, Q street, n. w, Washington.
Yes, you are right. The custom now so
we'll established of riding up and down
Pennsylvania avenue together and speak
ing pieces on the front porch Of the CAPT
tol ON the 4th of March was inaugurated
by Mr.. Cleveland and Mr.. Harrison, and
some think it may continue for years.
Pessimist, Avenue a, New York City.
-You should not fold your napkin while
visiting a friend and at the close Of
meal unless you remain longer than one
meal and recognize the napkin on the
second round. Then you may safely do
it up, taking care not to draw too much
attention while doing it. A good plan
is b get everybody 10 look ont of the
window at the elevated train for few
moments, during which you may deity
fold the fool thing into large spongy
mass and be ready TO converse when they
look around again
Rosebud. Hillgirt, Y. C.-No, can
not recommend any depilatory as abso-
lutel7 safe You make great mistake,
however, III trimming them of with the
scissors. And when You do so. if your
atfianced refers 20 1t and synpathlZes
with the grieved and astonisfled wind,
he is unworthy of You. Cast him aside,
though 1t cost you many bitter tear.
Tell hsm TO avaunt and then see that he
does so.
Lulu, West Superior, Wis.-Jelly is
eaten mostly with fowl or game and in
small quantities If you took the entire
dish from the waiter and used il 10
make ''jell Sanwitch, = IS you write
me, You made a great big error. and, g.
Uncle Remus says, there's where y02
broke ycur molssses Jug" Nothing is
sXeeter t4.c g. innocent. healthy girl.