Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1895-08-18

Wait a few years, Flossie. I'll Won haya
seen more of the world and then send
me a few cords Of your best poetry.
AT present it is not quite bad enough
TO be funny nor good enough to- be-
keenly enjoyable. l will keep the
poems you sent until Saturday. and ic
not called for then I shall stuff a straw.
berry bed with them.
Common Sense, Omaha.-Yes. Won
did right in kicking your son-in-iaw
across your golf links for flirting with
your wife The fin du bicycle young
man sometimes needs to DO taught a,
valuable lesson in the sternest manner.
1t is bad enough TO be compelled to sun
port a son-in-law without submitting
TO his alterations Of affections which
DO not belong to him. The statutes OF
Nebraska will not hold you responsible
for bodily injury done in the above
premises. Should he return and seek
redress You can look him over and do
as you think best. One Of your old
pairs Of pantaloons may not como
amiss should he show a contrlte heart.
Pastor, Galena Ils.-Yes. the book
you speak of is by me- / dashed il of
at the age Of II years. You and I have
the only two copies extant. Yours was
the first editien and mine was the last
one. / was afraid when | wrote it that
it was going to be above the heads OF
the people. II was. What the people
want is trashy literature. Since
found that out I have been moro sue
cessful. What is wanted is a work
that weighs II pounds and that can be
sold over the counter Of q department.
store for cents. Since I got I'm among
the works Of Thackery and Cervantes
and Moses on the bargain counter
among the boys pants, and slightly
soiled lawn mowers and corset covers.
and molasses and wooden butter stamps
and organdie remnants, my book sells
well and we keep a good deal more help
at home than we did when | wrote on
science and sold my books personally.
Bartholomew On .Cl5l,rE -
Yes, you may be able 10 arrange a
match for October with the boxer You
every possible encouragement. You
should train down a little. however, in
the meantime, if your photograph is
refer to, and this column will give you
correct, and be careful about your diet.
| am sorry to learn that your mother is
opposed to pugilism and that she
spanks you violently whenever she
learns that you have arranged a match.
Police Commissioner. Tichown. N.
C.-Yes, you do right in enforcing tho
stock law shooting at people who are
on the streets after o'clock p. m.
without a permit. Persons carrying
concealed squirrel rifles over eight feet
in length are liable under the statute.
and you did right in kicking those you
saw. MoOnshne whisky sold on the
place without license and on Sunday
should be turned over 10 the authori-
ties. Remarks made by policemen
while under the influence Of liquor WIZ
have to be sworn 10 in the presence or
two witnesses. Property taken from
the person of prisoners should be re-
turned after a while.
Tray Beyond. Erin Prairie, Wis In
entering a public place the lady should
precede the gentleman. but ln going
down the aisle of the church OF course
the usher would precede YOU very prop
erly. If you found the lady, who was
stranger. i'm your pew. You did wrong III
glaring at her and making Der get up
TO give You the corner Of the pew IL 10
barely possible that the usher lhIhklhP
Won had gone for the summer a5 YOU
had not been to service for some weeks
had seated the lady I'm your pew THIS
often happens. One Of tho meanest IN
snlts ever received was under similar
circumstances. and the pew owner was
q woman. so that a personal encounter
was rather to be avoided than other
wise. Il discouraged me so 10 Hhow
that an innocent taxpayer I'D OH iI..,3
church. as ] think IT. was called. 5houll
no bnmiIiated and insulted by % woman
old ole enough to be his mother. that have
f been a little timed about going 70
church without an escort ever Since