Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1895-04-25
THE JESTER.

paniOn.
THE JESTER.
Did you know that science had
discovered microbes in Kisses said
one student to another. "Humph," re-
plled another, that shows that a mi
Washington Star
Il WISH said Mrs. CorntosseI, that
they Wus some way ter keep people
from talkin' about ye behind yer
back" They is replied her hus
band. WHAT" Run fer office. Then
tey'l talk about We ter yer face
Washington Star.
Hostess Ito Logan, six years old.
who is taking dinner with them)-
Why, Logan! You say they don't ask
a blessing at your house? You don't
thank the Lord for what you have to
eat? LOgan-We don't have to. We
pay fc" what we get.-Judge.
You made a slight mistake in my
poem this morning" said the poet.
Sorry" replied the editor. what
was it," 'Well, l wrote: The clouds
hang murky Ger the west" and you
made me say: The crowds hand
turkey DER my deskr Atlanta Con
stitution.
Mrs. YOungwife-When Jack and
go anywhere now we have to walk.
When we were engaged we always
called a carriage. The Experienced
One-That's why you have to walk
now.-Brooklyn Life.
FOreman-Big sensation! There's
the devil to pay outside! Editor (ab-
stractedly)-Tell him I'll settle here
after.-Atlanta Constitution.
Mr.. Uptown-I'n have to cancel that
invitation | gave you to dine with
me. We are going to keep lent this
year. Mr.. Westside-All right, my
boy; l am glad you are taking an
interest in religious matters. There's
nothing like notifying the flesh. Up
town-Oh, it amt that. Our cooks
got married and quit and my wife
is going to do her own cooking.-Tam-
many Times.
What that tragedy needs sai|
one critic, sis more realism
Yes replied the other, they ought
to kill the actors sure enough. -.
Washington Star.
Absentminded Professor Cwho has
been snow balled by naughty boys on
the hillside)-'I must send commun-
icatiOn to the academy regarding the
phenOmenany large Snowffakes this
winter ''-Fliegende Blaetter
Customer know that the service
here is quicker than at other places;
but the portions are certainly only
half the size
Waiter-"The same thing, sir; Re
member that he gives twice who
gives quickly "-Harlem Life.
Isaacs-'Der doctor says l will be
sick dree weeks undt he must come
efery day."
Mrs. Isaacs-'Dots vot he said
Isn't is awful?"
Isaacs-"I guess We better get es-
Inmates on the chOb. Harlem Life.
DO you think that marriage is a
failure. Mr.. Askin"' said Miss Elder,
to a young man whom she knew to
be engaged. 4 haven't got that far
yet" was the frank reply. but I'm
pretty well convinced that courtship
is bankTuptcy.-Har Life.
Why" asked the turkey. gently,
"d0 you weep"
At the sound Of the sympathetic
voice the hens tears flowed afresh.
80 many Of my eggs" she sobbed,
turn out bad and go on the stage
Town Topics.
Mrs. De Style-''I wonder what is
the best way Of arranging theater
parties and the supper for them"
Philosopher-''Serve the supper in
the box during the performance.
While their mouths are full they can't
talk. New York Weekly.
Miss Greenfeld-So Mr.. Van Tackle
has given up his college?
! Miss Browning-Not much loss, IS
far as l can see.
Miss Greenfeld-But you forget he
distinguished himself in the late foot
ball games.-New York Ledger.
\ Scotch elder was asked how the
kirk was getting along. He answered
"A weel we had 400 members, then