West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1895-06-20
B0WSER ON A BIKE.
HE WANTS TO GET WELL AND
STRONG.
His First Attempt with the DeIusire
Machine Proves n Very Disastrous
Failure For Sale Cheap.

| drove up aud unloadcd and wheeled a
big bicycle 10 the basement door Mr..
Bowser was called down to receive II,
and when he returned TO the sitting
room Mrs. Bowser inquired
Didn't the man make "A mistake =?
There is nobody here 10 ride a bicycle
THE man knew what he was about"
replied Mr.. Bowser with bland smile
as he looked out into the back yard.
! 'Hou-you don't mean
GO ON, Mrs. Bowser, go on"
Have you bought bicycle ?"
II have bought bicycle II is pro-
nounced bike for short
And you are going to ride IL and
make a show of yourself at your age ?"
Il am going TO ride bike. Mrs Bow
ser, age or no age. Something has got
to bc done for my dyspepsia, and tho
doctor also says that the only thing
which will take the kinks out OF my
legs is the work of the pedals. Exer-
else is what want-eXhilaratinge exer-
else. A five mile spin before breakfast
| will make new man of me i'm n month"
- And you-you have bought bicy-
Gle y gasped Mrs Bowser as she held
up her hands in astonishment
Call it bike, Mrs. Bowser Yes,
have bought bike, and what of it?
What is there TO be surprised about ?
II thought you had bought every
foolish thing ever made and offered for
SALE but 1t seems ! was mistaken. If
there was ever n grown up man who
needed guardian you are the one"
Mrs. Bowser, are you talking TO me?"
"Of course ! am"
Then you want to remember who I
am. not only run myself but / run
this house. IL want to buy even a
balloon, it's nobodys business but my
own. l may be a lunatic or an idiot
but the general public hasn't found IL
out yet"
We'll, go ahead" she sighed, ''but
know just how it will turn out"
Yes, ofcourse. twill turn out that
will gain about ten pounds in the next
month and get some of my old enthu-
siasm back. will now get into my
old suit and have a little fun IN the
back yard. expect IL will take me a
couple of weeks 20 learn to ride the
thing, but I'm bound 10 get there"
And Of course you'll lay il all to
me-"
Lay it all TO you Lay what to you
Mrs. Bowser. why can't you look at
things in sensible light? You talk
as If were a child. There will be
nothing to lay TO you or anyone else.
Instead of carping and fault finding
you ought TO he glad that / am doing
all can TO preserve my health.
Mrs. Bowser had nothing more TO
say, and as she took seat by n back
window he ran up stairs 70 change his
clothes. Ten minutes later he had his
bike in the back yard. lie at first look
ed pleased and happy then he looked
anxious then he appeared doubtful.
Expect 20 get "A few tumb bles at first
you know" he said as he looked up at
Mrs. Bowser with Il painful smile, but
I'll get there in time"
Aren't you going to tic it up to the
fence ?" she asked.
For why ?"
$50 you can get on TO it. You'll
either have 20 do that or have some one
hold IT, Shall come down with the
stepladdcr."
NO ma'am, you needn't come down
with the stepladder. I'm just leading
the thing around few times TO get ny
legs limbered up. When want step
ladder, Ill let you know Here I go !'
He went. lIo had noticed several
different riders mount their bikes and
had figured ON an easy thing. lie made
spring fO- the saddle, and there was
wild exultation in his heart as he found
himself safely seated The wild oxulta-
tion lasted about a half second, or
until Mr.. Bowser struck the earth with
his head and his heels hit the fence and
the bike piled on top Of him.
"Are you hurt ? Are you killed ?"
called Mrs. Bowscr from the window.
DO you want 20 tell the whole town
that : fell III bike p" growIed Mr.
I'owscr ia reply as he slowly gathered
his wits and his legs and ms arms and
got up and looked at her.
But you might have broken your
neck"
"BOsh The wheel hit something I'm
the grass. Every body expects a tum-
bic or two. a fall like that wouldn't
hurt a baby. llavn't you got anything
20 do but sit there and watch me ?"
"Is IL any harm 60 watch you p"
lie didn't say. lie lifted the bike up.
carefully examined It 20 see If IL had
hind feet 20 kick with aud then con-
Quoted it twice around the yard 70 get
mp feeling Of mutual confidence. lie
would have cheerfully given Mrs Bow
/ ser sl0 to retire from The window, but
as he knew she wouldn't 20 ne made
/ mp his mind not 20 be bluned. lie
made ready for another try. and all OF
a sudden he landed in the saddle and
began 90 paw around for the pedals. A
I smile of i0v and pride started 60 flicker
across bis face. but before it had time
I 90 spread over two inches OF surface
I Mr. Bowscr wabblcd 20 the east and
/ grabbed to the west and went over
with q great crash. lie realized that