The Monticellonian., 1895-04-12
THE WIFE OF THE FUTURE.
A Sample Case of What She Is Expected
 to Be.

A sampie taso or " nat sne lA Expected
 to Be.
 He stood in the dark at the bottom of the stairs. His coat was over his arm, his shoes were in his hand, his collar was unbuttoned, his hair dishevelled and his breath would have put tho strength of Hercules to blush. He was musing. What was he to say to her this time? That he had been with sick friend? Bahl that chestnut dates with Noah when he got back from his first night out of the ark. Lodge? Political caucus? Poohl as soon might he tell her that there are June bugs in January Why not tell her that he had been dallying lover the chips at the club, and then pass over hundred of his winnings for herself by way of reparation? All right in theory, but where was the hundred? He had lost just a cool hundred and fifty to Col. Keenwun, and, the Lord knows, it would take month of severest econo- mics to make that up. Well, l might as well go and face the music" he said, despairingly, at last, as he softly mounted the stair like wrath of by- zones.
 Once in his room, he disrobed with infinite caution, dranka pitcher of wa ter, ate handful of cloves and nerved himself up to the proper pitch. Open- ing the door of his wife's boudoir, he suddenly stood staring. She was gone! A horrible query seized him. Had she fled to her mothers? Had she eloped with that-that scoundrel of a French sFo to her of late? Oh, no! that thought was madness. He approached the bed. No; she had not even been there. The sweat was oozing from every pore. He made his way to the bureau and drew forth revolver. "Bloodp' he nut tered; "blood!-mine, his-anybody's but blood!'
 There is no telling what he might have done had not at that instant rattle at the keyhole below startled him. He struggled to the banister and looked over. There was the wife of his heart taking her shoes off at the bottom of the stairs and trying to hang her hat on several imaginary pegs. Slyly he crept back and leaped into bed, feigning sleep.
 She entered, Her face was little flushed, her eyes somewhat bleary, but she had the very air of her own hus- band when he has got his story down pat Instantly the outraged sleeper awolze with a start. Madam, what does this mean?" he demanded, rub ping his eyes. Here it is nearly day light and you-you, the wife of my heart, the mother of my chi-hildren- just come in at this disgraeeful hour from God only knows where. Give an account of yourself Where have you | be-hen-oh, wh-here?'
 But the calm wife only faced him cynically. T will not work off any of your own stale old canned goods about lodges, sick friends and eaueuses. she began a trifie thiekly. "but I'll come right to the point and the truth l spent the evening at the Dorcas Aa- vanced Woman's league, ,4where we ha little quiet game. Here. my deaH. she followed, tossing 2 roll of bills aa on the bed. take this and Huy EHaF- self q seaIskin overcoat or Hafa ring Suit yourself. l won two aaH- dred and fifty dollars from Mrs. Keen wun, the co1enets wifea
 Then the foxy old duffer drew long sigh, grabbed the roll as a shipwreciSed sailor clutches spar, and buried his nose in his pillow. "Forgiven.' he murmured moment later when he caught his breath from the sweet shock and lay awake a whole hour winking at the clean hundred the two of them were ahead of the Keenwuns. IN. Y. World,