Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-07-11
Let Us All Laugh.

Cease to deplore thy fate,
Get out toward the river
And so to digging bait!
ATLANTA Constitution.
Visiting New Yorker-Hav you read
"Trilby" yet? Philadelphian-No, but
have heard Of it.-Somerville Journal.
Son-Father, is the position Of Sem
ator higher than that OF Congressman
Tather-It comes higher, my boy
Boston Post.
Kingley-Does your wife try to boss
you as much as she used to? Blngo-
| No; she doesn't even have to try now
New York Herald.
Figg-Are you at all interested In Sc
cret orders? Fogg-Only in connection
with the soda fountain Mt the drug
store.-Boston Transcript.
Biggs-Why does Brown always write
his jokes on such thin paper? Digs
So the editor can see through them, !
suppose.-Albany Journal
SWELL" said the monkey to the organ
grinder as he sat on top of the organ.
'I'm simply carried away with the
music. "-Philadelphia Record.
slave you read my last poem In the
magazine" "No; but II it's really your
last just name the magazine, and Ill
buy it"-Atlanta Constitution.
"Yass," said Cholly, "the guvnah
gives me money to burn, but don't do
| It, y know. Going to the races II
| quickah."-New York Recorder.
Cholly-Why do so many of the girls
get married In June? 'June Brides"
you know. PoIly-That's easy. It's be-
cause they're asked.-Chicaso Record.
"What makes you think he cares for
you" "Why, mamma talked to him
| for more than an hour last evening, and
he really seemed to enjoy it."-Punch.
She-I was playing whist also last
night. 1t was the first meeting OF our
Young Ladies' Whist Club. He-I Won
dered what made you so hoarse.-Har-
lem Life.
Tommy's pop-Why is it the little boy
who lives across the street seems to
have no friends? Tommy-Why, his
| fathers a base ball umpire.
phia Record.
"When an 1S-year-old girl says her
mother won't let her accept an invita-
ton to a party 1t Is certain that the
wrong person has asked her to co.
Atchison Globe.
He-You see, the free coinage of sill
yer would initiate prices She-Would
It? Then you'd better let me have some
money so 1 can get in some bargains ut
once.-Brooklyn Life.
Casey-Phat made Mulligan fall of
de ladder? Did his fut ship? 4Rellly4
1t did not OF told him joke an hour
ago, an sure he jist now tumblea,v
Philadelphia Record. -rt
Willie-What does alimony mean, pa?
Does 1t mean all the money? Pa (bit
terly)-Yes, all the money man cau
scrape together, and more, too, some
times.-Ncw York World.
"Talk about daylight robbery being
the height Of imposition" said the man
as he shook his fist at the gas meter,
at Is not in it with gaslight robbery.
No. "-Indianapolis Journal.
/ love to swing upon the gate,
Say, just at eventide;
That is, IL 1t will bear the weight
OF some one else inside.
New York Herald.
'Do you know?" gushed Miss May
flower, 81 think Jack is very much in-
terested In palmistry. He told me he
paid $25 one evening last week just to
look ut another mans hand."-Boston
Bulletin.
She lin the art gallery)-I wonder IL
my hat is on straight; everybody stares
at me so. He-Naturally they do; you're
the most perfect picture here. And
now the cards are Out.-Philadelphia
Record.
Mrs. Mcbride (entering the kitchen)-
Bridget, didn't l see that policeman
kiss you? Bridget-Well, mum, sure
an yez wouldn't hev me lay mesilf opin
to artist for restrainin' an officer, mum7
-Harpers Bazaar.
Alberta--I do wish 1t were not the
custom to wear the engagement ring
only on the third finger of ones left
hand. Alethea-So do 1. I can't get
ut one time now.-Life.
Bass-Do you know that Henderson
Is a regular lady-killer? Cass-I sus-
pected as much from what he said
about the woman In the big hat just in
front Of him at the theater the other
night.-Boston Transcript
Blobbs-They say an actor is never
afraid to live In haunted house.
Slohbs-I suppose because he is usually
full of Spirits" anyhow. Blobbs-
Yes, and then he always likes to see
the ghost walk.-Philadelph Record.
Husband-This cake Is very good. my
dear; but 1t seems to me there ought to
be little more Wife lin clear, in
cisivc tones)-That cake came by mail
and was made by your mother. Hus.
band-Yes, as l was saying, there ought
to be little more Of it.-New York
Weekly.
you have been a good while getting
upstairs" said Mrs. Smarte, who with
her lord and master was stopping at
one OF our hotels. EYES," replied
Smarte; II stopped to take an cleva-
tor "Oh, you need not have taken
thetrouble to tell me-" said Mrs. s.. toss.
Ing her head. II smelt your breath
the moment you entered the room
Boston Transcript.