Democratic Northwest and Henry County news. [volume] (Napoleon, O. [Ohio]) 1894-1905, 1895-07-25
- mODEniN tIv1 r1iNOE,
Painful Story of n Man Who Bought q
Wheel.

| Painful Story Of n Man Who Bought o
| Wheel.
He was old enough to know better, but
| It's still true that there's no fool like an
old fool. After week of practice in the
riding school, after learning to mount and
dismount and to turn to the left and the
right, he got his wheel, and with an expe-
rienced rider as escort made tame but
entirely successful debut on the pavement.
He went home that night little lame,
but holding his head pretty high for head
that was full of new wheels.
"I'm going to use the bicycle entirely
going to and from the Office" he announc-
ed to his amiably SIX &tical wife. ut will
save at least 81 week ON cdr fare. Be-
sides need the exercise. l think it will
be good for my appetite"
$50 1t will cost 81 week moro to board
your" laughed madam. Women ere SO IL
logical and malapropos.
"Nevcr you mind. I'm going to open a
wheel account with myself, and in month
Ill show you figures that will open your
eyes"
1t was just week later, as he lay In
darkened room, with a bandage around his
head and splints on his arm, that the wife
opened memorandum book and read:
Friday. Rode down town and home
again on back streets to avoid crowd. Say
ed 10 cents. This is great.
Saturday Main street this morn.
ing. Never realized before how busy the
STREET is. Awfully full of teams and peo-
pie. Looked ahead and saw heavy coal
wagon coming. Tried to give it wide
berth, but the more tried the more
couldn't. Ran into its front wheel and
broke handle bar. Think it must have
been loaded with magnetic iron ore 1t
pulled me in so Driver asked me If I was
loaded, an what in ell was tryin to cut
i'm down for. "Why don't you use baby
carriageP" he jeered. These low people
don't understand athletics.
Sunday. get my wheel repaired
until Monday Just as well. l couldn't
sit on it If had it. Must get saddle chang
ed. Mine looks all right, but feels as if it
were all edge. Curious effect of yesterdays
collision. I can't walk past people with
out hitting them. Kept stepping off the
sidewalk all the way to church and bump
ed up against everybody. Stepped on three
dresses and going down the aisle late hit
Struck him amidships, bow on, and they
are looking under the pews yet for the sill
yer. | can't keep off of people. Must find
4G acre lot tomorrow and practice walk
ing.
Monday. Thought I was O. K. again.
Got my wheel and was coming up the ave.
in great shape Two ladies on sidewalk;
heard one of EN- say, "There, that's tho
way l like to see q man ride; he sits up
straight like o gentleman" Looked
around and tried to raise my hat; bicycle
fell over and 1 put my Trilby smash
through front wheel. Repair shop prom
isos wheel tomorrow. Hope those ladies
won't know me next time l look like q
gentleman.
The entries stopped here, 60 tho wife
added:
"Tuesday.-Wcnt out to park, where
the roadway wasn't crowded. Met a lady
On o wheel. turned out and she turned
in"-
"What arc you doing there so stillt"
said the remains in the bed.
"Trying to bring your bicycle economy
account up to date, dear
"Just say I'd rather meet drove Of
IeSuS sleers all long Horneu anu Liau,
than a woman on wheel. The streets are
not wide enough for me and any woman
that ever held handle bar. Just say that
the way to meet woman rider is to get
over into the fields as soon as you sight
| her,"
"Shall put down the expenses in the
casep''
Expense bo BIZ See here; you write
. letter to one Of the papers and get the
address of tho secretary Of the antibicycle
league. I'm going to join when the bone
| SETS"
Never mind, dear: get another wheel
and cconomize some more. And-it isn't
SO bad you kno4; your life's insured. -
| Buffalo Express.