davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1895-05-18
FUN IN A SHlPwREck.

Ludicrous 1nclQ(cnts Described by An Old
Salt who Was Thirsty.
IL shall never forget my experience
in the southern ocean in the winter of
49," said the sailor-lool<ing man in a
reminiscent tone.
The other passengers in the smoker
naturally asked him to tell it, they all
having exhausted their supply of yarns
and anecdotes. So, after n little press
ing, the sailor man proceeded.
1T was in the winter of '73 that I
was mate aboard the Nancy Jane, from
New York for Valparaiso. 1t was just
after dou bling the cape that the trou-
BILE began; and right here let me say
the cape was bad enough without dou-
bling it, but orders is orders on ship
board.
about noon it fell dead calm, which
made us all look alive for q gale. 1t
came on soon enough, and our masts
went by the board, leaving us without
a stick of timber. However. we had
plenty of cordwood, and managed to
keep fire going in the galley.
This was lucky. for without the fire
of course we couldn't have cooked the
eggs for breakfast. 1 forgot to say
that early in the gale the ship laid to.
but the ship was doomed and our
hearts began to sink: SO did the ship.
We manned one boat with the women,
and just as the cock crew the crew got
into the other. We had no provisions
save a few fire crackers, and after
drifting about for a week-and 4 weak
lot we were-our boat struck a rock,
the first thing we had struck since our
of water.
'Then we threw the painter over
board, and the carpenter and the rest
of us pulled the boat ashore. The other
boat capsized, but all hands were saved,
though one man lost both arms by get
= l.
were a hard-locking set, not one of US
having seen soap or fresh water since
having left the ship, but we looked
better after having been washed ashore
1--WE found that we had landed on an
| island. There was great swell on
shore the first day, and we afterward
saw a little cove running inland, but
there were no other signs of life.
1--WE had nothing to live on but the
country, and fortunately there was
plenty of that, but it soon became mo-
notonous. and we longed for a change
of diet. About the third day one of
the women deserted a sail-a woman
know-and as we saw the stranger
huggiug the shore we Rugged ourselves
for joy.
"Thc vessel came as near as she
could, then threw over a plank and we
all got aboard, and we enjoyed the
OOlfO nuSely ana n1lco up promptly.
| Then the sails filled and we were off
| and away.
''The vessel was a bark, built of dog
wood, and Il good sailer, though some
| of us had thought tina: dog wouldn' t
float. She was called the Haromasia.
and"
"And never existed except in your
ilnaginatio you old Fraud" shouted
the crowd with one voice, and you
have been only reeling of lot of
cheap puns, confound you!"
And they turned from him as from
one Reconsideration Transcript.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1895-05-18

The Madonna Girl, tho Poets Ideal, is the
KaSo at Present.

The Madonna Girl, tho Poets Ideal. Is the
RaSo at Present..
The bonnet whose plumes stand
straight up to a great height from a
modest Dutch band. looks n great deal
like a Fiji head-dress, but if it be
styled a Dutch bonnet the suggestion
of the South seas is not amiss. For,
be it known, the Dutch bonnet is on
top in a double sense; it reigns
throughout the country, and women
find it universally becoming, too. Isn't
it funny women are modest? They
confess with delight that each fashion
proves becoming, instead of realizing
that it is their own everlasting charm
that is proven No matter what she
puts on, pretty woman is going to
be slightly. 1t is necessary only that
she should not look strangely different
from other girls that her prettiness
may be recognized. So it is that all
tumble unto the same fashions with
ftful frenzy. Harmony being thus Sc
cured, beauty gets its invaria BILE rec
ignition. All the same. the Madonna
girl and the big girl with rather heavy
features and fine eyes is having her
time just now.
A fetching toque is thus described:
1t is of sapphire blue velvet, which is
arranged in a series of pufs and loops
in front and around the bri1n, dimin-
ished in size at the back. On either
side toward the front, feathery aig-
rettes are placed. A pretty varia ton
on the neck ruche binds big roses to-
gether in a strand of bright ribbon.
The ribbon ties in front under the
chin, is fitted smooth y in at the col
lar and sweeps stiff y and Prinly over
the blouse front, turning under with
it to tuck in with it at the belt Cor
responding bands are added to each
side and fit closely. Almost all the
new bodices will show this effect or
some modification of it. Very slender
women may try the bodice bloused in
the back as well as in the front, but
the experiment is risky for nybody
but a ''bean pole."-Boston Traveller.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1895-05-18
A SURE CURE.
Ono Way of Refreshing Husbansi's

Memory.
Two married ladies were talking
about their respective and respected
lords.
docs your husband forget things?"
asked one.
Never" said the other.
''Well. mine does. l think there Is
hardly a day when he comes lone from
his office that he doesn't begin to apollo
gize for his forgetful ness. OF course,
l have to accept the apology on his
promise to do better. and the next day
the very same thing occurs"
'"rhat must be extremely annoying"
ut is. Sometimes 4 get so vexed
with him that really have to scold
him.
And that never is pleasant
II should say not I'm sure I'd rather
be anything else than azAcold, but som Q
husbands actually drive their wives to
it. I've been married. ten years, and
sometimes l almost fear if he doesn't
improve he will have my temper utter
ly spoiled"
''1've been married a dozen years and
I never have any such trouble
MAY be your husband is an excep-
tion?"
mo; he's only average as married
men 60"
Wasn't he ever forge tful?"
HE was at first, but 1 cured him of
it."
''Gracious, thought it was incura-
ble."
"Oh, no. You can cure him easily If
you will use my remedy"
I'm sure I'll only be too glad to
What is it?''
''Never ask him to get anything for
you. Get it yourself. He has enough
to think about without being errand
boy"
"Oh," exclaimed the first woman, AMI
remained silent for as much az TIVE
miuutes-Detroit Free Press.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1895-05-18
A Small Youths fsetort.

The pompous schoolmaster some
times finds himself in position which
is not entirely to his taste. A great
English wit, Mark Lemon, once wrote
a book in which he told of a chu bly,
faced little urchin who passed his con-
ceited instructor upon the street with
out bowling. The schoolmaster stopped
and frowned.
'What has become of your manners.
sir?'' he roared. 1T seems to me that
you are better fed than taught
Yes, SIR replied the little boy.
THAT'S because you teaches me; but I
feeds myself, sir."-Harper's Young
People.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1895-05-18

-''What is the meaning of this, Mary?
This is the second time have found a
policeman in the Kitchen" ''I.or. mum!
I'm so afraid OF the coekyoaehes. "~-Pall
Mall budget,
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1895-05-18

NIadge-I don't like that foreigner
and don't believe he's a count at all.
Mamie Why not? He seems to know
I'LL the mobility. ~ =
~ know. but he's actually got mouey
Of his own,"-ChieaEo Record.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1895-05-18

You soy we must try and get
along with only necessities and here
you 0esoe home from your club in .
csb."-. .Tha's s--nceessty."-Ltfa
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1895-05-18
Taken Literally.

Tommy - Nav, that nasty little
Briggs kid sassed me this morning,
and didn't do a thing to him.
Mrs. Figg-I am glad, Tommy; to
learn that you have exercised the vir-
ture of forbearance SO nicely.-In-
dianapoliS Journal.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1895-05-18
HIS DIAGNOSIS.
Mike Knew the Principal Points In Medical
Practice.

Practice.
A man named Mike Dooley has been
employed for q number of years as
driver by Il well-known physician, who
fell ill and died. Mike was disconso.
late over his employers death. He
was out of a job, and untitled for any
other employment save driving a doc
tors buggy from patient to patient
and mapping during the visits. He sat
around the house in a morose and
mournful sort of way until his ener-
Getic wife grew weary.
''Phy don't yez sthir yezs'f an do
sumthin'?" she inquired with indiGna-
ton.
"Sllurc, an phvat kin Oh Go?" he re.
turned.
..Do!' she repeated. CAV Old bin
wild a dochter foortanc years an sax
hunts Ord know enuff t be dochter
nlois'f.''
Mike frightened up. He knew moth
ing, of course, about medicine, except
a few grandiloquent phrases he had
heard his master use in its praises.
However, he hung out his sign and
next day woman called.
us the doctor imp she asked.
'OTm tn dochter, mom," responded
Mike.
..TLen wish you would tell me what
is the matter with me- she remarked
in the plaintiff tone Of a chronic in
valid.
''Twinty dollars, MON, av you Place"
said Mike, sentcntiously.
The woman demurred.
'Scoience, MON, an a knowledge av
tarrespootics air only acquired boi dthe
axpindatoor ov CRATE toll an tonne an
mummy; SO, MON, my fays air inwaira-
bly, in advance
When Mike fred that at her she
gave up the twenty without another
word.
LET me see yure tung, mom," de-
handed Mike. The woman obeyed.
Lit me fale yure pools," he con-
tinucd, and she extended her hand.
Lit me heer dthe batin' av yure
HART" and Mike, with an air Of seri-
Gus study, laid his shock head against
the patients bosom. After a moment
he drew it away with jump.
1.-The worst fears air realoized,
mom:' he exclaimed; "yez have a wart
on yure Observation-Disclosures Star.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-07

reach of the rich and favored alone; that
in the midst of all these things we have
men and women travelling about doing
their best to turn constitutions into codes,
and codes into mere directions without
mandate; men and women rowing up
and down preaching the gospel of an
ignoble discomfort, doing their utmost to
stir up strife and hatred, to establish
classes and sharply define the lines be-
tween them; to cultivate spirit OF dis
trust of the American system, and boldly
suggest and advocate fanciful changes
and notifications, upon the hazard of
which we are expected to place all our
hopes and liberties. and all else that is
precious that has been won for us by the
blood. courage and lives of our patriots.
and the wisdom, prescience and inspira-
ton of our statesmen and scholars.
Really, when we take these two lines OF
reflection, we are amazed that there
should be such presumption on the one
hand, and gratified beyond worthy ex-
preston on the other, that American in
stitutions are 30 strong that they stand
unmoved amid the railing of the calamity
howlers, the black forecasts of the pessim-
lists, aud the pitiful assaults of those who
would experiment upon the national
body to its death.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-07

and the lower leg besides, you have as
suredly added to your store of knowl-
edge. But you might have learned as
much at that essentially Christian re-
treat and lovely and desirable summer
resort, Pacific Grove, where the best
women in the land think it not immod-
est, as it is not, to don short skirts for
the bathing beach.
And, by the way, it occurs to US that at
many and many entertainments given in
the name of the Lord and charity and the
church we have seen, if the Young Chris
tians Of San Francisco have not, the pur-
est and best and noblest of the women
of California dress in the short skirts of
the women of other lands and assume the
beautiful costumery of the far East and
move among the people soliciting aims
for sweet charity's sake, and not one hui
man being thought them immodest or
that there was in the lower leg exhibit
ton anything whatever to shock the del
icate moral nerve of young Christian
men-nor was there.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-07
AMERICAN REFLECTIONS.
Wilmot II. Goodale, in the american
Magazine Of CfUicS, has these eloquent
and patriotic words:

Wilmot II. Goodale, in the american
Magazine Of Cf0tcS, has these eloquent
and patriotic words:
Have you ever thought how large proper
ton OF the Inventions which IN modern tunes
have conferred benefits upon mankind have
been the product OF American genius? Where
in all the world is thought SO free conscience
so untrammeled, action SO unfettered as
here? Where else but in America can the
fugitive from oppression and misfortune find
q home presented as the gilt OF the people WHO
welcome him 10 citizenship among them?
And where else has it been so fully demon
strated as here that the spirit OF tolerance and
liberaiity pay in the heaven-minted coin Ola
n Jbler MANHOOD and purer patriotism?
Yes, we have thought of it over and
often, and over again, and taken price
in the reflection. And then we have
thought of that other phase Of Amer
lean life, namely, that in the midst
of such land of liberty, liberation,
free thought and perfect individual free
dom, there are those who plot and devise
to overthrow it all; who clamor for the
withdrawal of the restraints of the law;
who find in all activity in our nation only
who can see nothing in the present indi-
eating progression: who estimate the
mass of the leaders among men to be
scoundrels; who hold that the highest
office of industry is to do battle with cap
ital: who would transform the system of
independent States in an indissoluble
union-as there are distinct pillows in one
sea-into a system OF radical socialism, in
which the State should monopolize all
things and direct the ambitions and the
genius of men; for, deny i. as they may,
that it what the doctrine in practice would
lead TO.
Yes. we reflect that in the midst of the
best days for intelligence, art discovery,
science and true living: for human lib
erty. and brain and Drawn alike; the days
in which there are no sealed books and no
closed doors of knowledge; the days in
which the lowliest enjoy advantages that
but little while ago came within the
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-07
EYES ON THE MERCURY.
What is the Outlook for an Uncom-
monty Hot, Trying Summer.

Last winter was long and severe. Will the
summer in its turn be uncommonly hot and
trying? Men ask each other this question as
they gather around the Thermometers, and
wonder if the sun is going to break the record.
Weather cranks, like jealous people, are al
ways looking for information that will make
them wretched.
Unfortunately for the great army OF stay-a
homes in towns and cities, it is not possible
to ignore the heat altogether. 1t will obtrude
itself on the attention with wearisome persist
ence. But 1t is possible 10 keep the body in a
state of active resistance to the health-destroy-
ing influences of the season. This is done by
anything that keeps up the vital force, acts
upon the organs OF excretion, SO that waste
matter is readily thrown of, and generally
exercises soothing, strengthening, benetcent
power.
VI all means devised Tor this end Dutfy's
Pure Malt Whisky is the most conspicuously
useful. 1t is kept III thousands of households,
and is particularly valuable ill all cases where
vital force is depressed and the system is inert
and forceless. That such circumstances de-
mand notwithstanding TO act quickly
and thoroughly-has long been the concur
rent testimony OF the best physicians. In the
best sense OF shamefully abused word
Duhy's Pure Malt Whisky is an '.idesaln stimu-
liant. 1t is free from fusel oil. IL is helpful to
women in all conditions Oh lie.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-07
A PriviIeped Person.

Princess Mathilde is one of the few
Catholics who are entitled to eat meat
during Lent by special decree of the
Pope. This dispensation was accorded
to her under peculiar circumstances.
When the Queen of Westphalia. the moth
err of Princess Mathilde once paid visit
TO Pope Plus H. at the Vatican, the Pope
had a special 'bull' drawn out for her
benefit, in memory of her visit, dispens-
ing her from fasting during the whole of
her lifetime. "Your Holiness will par
don me-" said the Queen. but l am en-
out your holiness permission, for l am
a Protestant The Pope smiled and
said: well, then, 1 will transfer the
dispensation to your daughter, Ma
thifde." This was done, and the order
remains in force to the present day
DahatS.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-07
A Dangerous Gift.

George have been invited to flower
party at the Pinkies'. What under the
sun is flower party?
Jack-Thats one of the new notions
this season. 1t is a novel form of birth
day party. Each guest must send Miss
Pinkie bouquet containing as many
flowers as she is years old, and the flow
ers must have a meaning. Study the
language of flowers before ordering.
Florist Boy Ia few hours later)-A gen.
tlemen left an order for twenty of these
flowers, to be sent to the Pinkies with
his card.
Florist-He's one of my best customers.
Add eight or ten more for good measure.
Household Words.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-07
SpecIaI Agencies.

This paper is for sale at the following placess
l.. P. Fishers, room 81 Merchants Exchange,
California street; the principal News Stands
and Hotels, and at the Market-street Ferry,
San Francisco.
Los ANGELEs.-Eclectic Book Store, corner
Second and Main streets.
SAN DIEGo.-Emmal & Co., $50 Fifth street.
CoRoNADo.-Hopkins q Cox, Coronado
Aotel.
SANTA Observation-Disclosures News Depot
FREsNo.-C. T. Cearley, iii street.
SANTA CRUZ.-Cooper Bros. News Depot
As- Also, for sale on all Trains leaving and
1onaing into Sacramento.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-07

blow in the house of his home. Here is
the San Francisco Call saying to the
Half Million Club that it had better turn
to land help the police force catch muir
derers in order to keep the population
San Francisco already has" For shame.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-07
Weather Forecasr.

Northern California-Fair; continued high
temperature in the interior; norther of con-
siderable severity in the Sacramento and san
Joaquin Valleys; nearly stationary tempera-
ture along the coast; brisk northerly to west
erly winds.
Hight of river. 81 feet inches
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-07

MRS. WINSLOW'S SOOTHING SYRUP
mothers tor their children while teething with
perfect success. 1t soothes the child, softens
the gums, allays pain, cures wind collie, regu-
lates the bowels, and is the best remedy for
diarrhea, whether arising from teething or
other causes. For sale by druggists In every
part Of the world. Be sure and ask for Mrs.
Winslow's Soothing Syrup. twenty-five cents
q bottle.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-07

into society, and womanhood as well, is
an extremely critical period in every girls
life At this time she needs advice, and,
what's more-help of the right sort. If she
puts her faith in DR.. Pierce's Favorite Pre-
scription it can bring only good results.
It's medicine that's made especially to
build up women's strength and cure wo-
mems ailnents-an invigorating, restora-
tive tonic, soothing cordial, and bracing
nervine purely vegetable, non-alcoholic,
and perfectly harmless. For all the func-
tional arrangements, painful disorders, and
chronic weaknesses that afflict womankind,
the Favorite Prescription " is specific.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-07
THE DAILY RECORD. UNION
THE WEEKLY UNION
81 so

Ts the cheapest and most desirable Home,
News and Literary Journal published on the
Pacific Coast.
The WEEKLY UNION per year...............S1 30
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-07

Hs- These publications are sent either by
Mail or Express to agents or single sub
scribers with charges prepaid. All Postmast-
ers are agents.
The best advertising mediums on the Pacific
Coast.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-07

Entered at the Postoffice at Sacramento as
secop6-class matter.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-07

The Oakland Board of Education has
adopted rule that a teacher reaching the
geot 90 years is disqualified and must vacate
his or her position. In the first place, any
such rule is Illegal and void In the next, no
such arbitrary rule can be just. Some OF the
best teachers are those who would fall within
the disqualification provided by the rule.
Chancellor Kent accomplished the greatest
work OF his life alter the age an arbitrary law
ii Nad As that of SuperRnuuatiOn.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-07

The REcoRD-UNIoN and WEEKLY
UNION are the only papers ON the Coast.
outside of San Francisco, that re-
ceive the full associated Press Dis
patches from all parts Of the aOorld. Out
side of San francisco, they haze no COM
petitors, either an influence or home and
general circulation throughout the State.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-07

'Record-Union' Telephone.
Editorial OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. Red 131
Business Office Black 131
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-07
NOTE AND COMMENT.

1t really begins to look as if the Powers are
resolved to compel the Turk to introduce the
needed reforms into Armenia and to require
him to respect the rights of the Christian peo-
pie of that unhappy province. Let all civil
lied nations entertain the hope that the news
is true: that at last the massacres and out
RACES by the Turks and Kurds in Armenia are
to cease, and more that Armenia will attain
such independence as Greece won under not
greatly dissimilar circumstances.
The people who are prosecuting the redenp-
ton of the Second Ward from Barbary Coast
encroachment must not be discouraged by
the persistent and silly whine that nothing
should be doneIuntil some other locality is set
apart for the denlZens of the 'cOast." There
is no authority that can legally or decently
indicate any such locality, and if there were
it cuts no figure in the case. Nor yet do IL
cense and regulation, since the State has not
provided for anything of the kind. Ii "A'
appeals to "B," the latter having authority,
and being in duty boundto abate nuisance
that is an injury to "a, "B' cannot in good
conscience reply that "a" is entitled to relief,
but it cannot be granted until "B' finds some
other spot where the nuisance may lrespass
upon the right of &c" or Sd" or Sc"
Colonel Croker has stated to San Fran
cisco reporter that he heartily favors the
building of the new San joaquin Valley Rail
way. He declares that it Will benefit all con-
cerned; and that he hopes it will be construct
ed Yet we Will hear of people in plenty who
will have the meanness to question the sim
cerity of Colonel Crocker's frank and clear
business statement. The average anti-railroad
crank believes in no one but himself.
The Oakland Board of Education has
adopted d rule that a teacher reaching the
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-07
SPECIAL NOTICES.

F1RST-CLASS PASTURE at ranch of late
Peter Burns Horses So CO. cows 81 month
Vehicles BAKER HAMILTON-Hardw
Carts, Buggies, Carriages, Phaetons, Balm Farm
and Header Wagons. Wholesale Hardware
Send for Catalogue.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-07

Eastern Business Off1cess
IS Tribune Building, New York,
609 ''The Rookery.' Chicago.
8. c. BeckWith. sole agent foreign ad yertising