The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1895-04-02
PITEI AND POINT.

. - - - ' -
At first success makes name, after
ward the name makes the success -
. FIiegen lie Baetter.
When the office seeks the man, the
reception OF the prodigal son is not in
1t with its welcome. Puck.
"Does your new girl break many
new dIshes?' Worse than that. She
cracks old Jokes Philadelphia Re.
cord.
Wigs Did he take her refusal
much to hearth" Waygs--No; he
took her to his heart instead. Som
erviile Journal.
"What d. You @uppose ever made
them call prison Sing Sing?" ~
reckon it WIS because OF the bars. -
Atlanta Journa'.
Il might have gone further and
Jared worse" as the man who was
going TO Brooklyn said when he jumped
off the bridge. Puck.
FAith-"Don't You love the early
poets?" Morton managing editor of
IA magazine) Yes, L do; they're all
deed - Harlem Life.
Wife There comes that tramp
gave some of my biscuits to tho other
day" impossible This
must be his ghost Life.
Poet-"Has the editor read the
poem 1 left here yesterday" Office
boy-'I guess So, sir; he's sick abed
to-day. Boston Bulletin.
Judge--'Were YOU ever up before
this court?' Everett Wrest-"Can't
say. Judge. What time do your honor
git up?"-Ciucinnati Enquirer.
'When the alligator closed its jaws
on you did you give yourself up as
lost?" "No; [ remembered my fold
ing-bed accident and took courage"
Puck.
The Julge-'I hope 1 shall not SEQ
you here again" Prisoner (who is
arrestel weekly mot see me? Why,
yer amt goin' to resign yer position,
are yer?"-Truth.
Mother---"That notepnper is Ger
tainly very quaint, but are you sure it
Is fashionnble?' Daughter -"Oh, it
must be. It's almost impossible to
write on it. New York Weekly.
Mrs. Lougwed- -"Hlye you any idea
what is mennt by the fires OF love,
dear?' Longwej sc rr-thOse the
husband builds the first three months
after marriage, / suppose. "--Buffllo
Courier.
Mrs. Sargent knowingly ---'Tt said
that the Lord never made two women
alike Sargent (tartly) --"Of course
he didn't, or you would never hear Of
n man getting married twice. "-Har-
lem Life.
Mtrgie Don't You think Burt
Sawbuck has wheels in his head?"
Flossie- elm pretty sure he has.
hearl him complaining OF a tired feel
ing 70 it the other gay. South Bos-
ton News.
$50 all is over between Slimpurse
aud Miss Gollcoin2' Eyes. cher
money made the trouble, dill it?"
eyes; he thought she was worth
800, 900, AMI it was only SO, 900. -
Inter Ocean.
Teacher -"Can any Of you tell me
why flannel is comfortable IN winter2"
Bright Boy ,in new underwearj Ut
makes ysh hitch about and wriggls
around, anil the exercise keeps yeh
warm Good News.
AppIicau5-"rdl ike to get @ Job Of
running your bar gain counter" Mer-
chant- --"Havs you hal any expert
euce?" Applictut-'I should say i
had. was four seasons in q football
team. Detroit Free Press.
"I'm O little worried about my wife,
and would like go nave you run mp
aud see her. Doctor What are
her symptons2' ".5he allowed me Co
leave the houss without asking for
money. '-Chici11 Inter-Ocean.
Mu Ice There was girl sat be.
side me i'm the car to-day who had che
prsttiest foot I ever saw. Yabsley-
"Did she have a pretty face p Nudge
OF can't tell you. I couldn't see over
her sleeves. indianapolis Journal
Small Son---''Us boys is getting up
a dog show, anil I bet our Fido viii
take the prize. Father --''Fido has
no pedigree. Small Son --''Thisisn't
any European aristocracy affair. This
is an American dog show. Good
News.
Jeweler The inscription you wish
engraved on the inside Of this ring I
understand is 'Mrcellus to Irene.
Young Man with embarrassment)-
eyes, that's right But er iou't
cus the Irene deep Baltimore