The islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1891-1899, 1895-11-07
REV. EVOLUTION WHALEBACK.

My belubed Teller nigers rs Der
bounced by er good many ob de per
fesliional members OBJ dis yer meetir
house bout wat said to you all bout
zageration. Now dar aint one OBJ de
whole shootin match but wat would Oil
up OH his hid lagos an howl eff YOU
done sinuate dat da was cher gilty oh
de sin Oh zageration but da low dat
yer belubed pasture was very pussoneI
i'll his remarks. l cant zackly splain
dat ar, but it pears like dars some con-
screpensy dar somewhat cause er man
wat neber sold er clam amt bleeged ter
blow er hawn, an eff grabs up dis ere
himbook an says rs gwine ter hit de
niger spang i'll de head wat stol. nv
chickens wlHltfur you all Grail under
de bench to git outin de way eff 70
neber visited er hen coop, OATS wat l
| want ter know. An huccolu dat Jake
Samonbery wat shout so loud bout his
honesty ter go ter Jail las summer, tell
me dat. Why he went ODER to de big
camp meetin ober in de waly, an OH de
way he met up wild err nice plump
chicken all he done wiring its knock an
hid it in de top Oh lis plug hat under
his hankitcher. When he got to de
meetin he sot down cloes by Cunnel
Davidson all arter spell de Cunnel he
move his foot an he knock ober Jakes'
hat, an widOut waitin to see weder q
diskivery had ben made er not Jake
jumped un hollered out "Cunnel de
man wat put dat chicken in my hat
aint no friend oh mine." "Who say
anything erbout er chicken your in hat, !"
said de Cunnel, den da proceeded wild
de Investigation an de Cunnel he
recognise dat pullit fer his own an dat
fool niger git six months in de pen fer
cause he's er little too previous wild his
declimatin OBJ innersense before any
body done promulgate de fust decep-
ton dat even spishionated him oh dis
tractin dat chicken. An so you's mighty
apt ter find it my friends an when
hears one Oh desc ar goody goody fell
lers bragin bout dar honesty I goes
home an zamines de fastnins OBJ de
kitchen winders keerfully an tends
pussonaly to de lockin OBJ de chicken
coop an de root house door fer Is got
er heap NOR dependence in err four bit
pad lock dan l has in de pertentions
OBJ er man wat hab SO much honesty to
de square inch dat he am erbleeged ter
spend de heft Oh his time impressin dat
fact on de incredulity oh de public.
When I catalnarised de young nigers
last ginin time ak one Oh dem eff he
done stole any chickens since he ben
er probationer? An he say no. Any
ducks? Nope! Has you done stole
any pigs, er yalns er watermilyens?
An he says no sab! So 1 took him i'll
ter de chuch, but when we's gwine
home he say to ME Parson Whaleback,
[ done thought my poor sinful soul
gwine ter be lost shuIe dis day. Hue
come dat? AK. Way, when you cata-
marised me bout dem chickens all
things was mighty feared you gwine
ter AK bout tuckies, eff you had I'D ben
er lost niger shure. l done read one
ob Brudder Talmages sermons onct
all he say dat it ain Coincidence wot
max err man glib hisself erway like dat
an rs boun ter BELIEF dat Brudder
Talmage am correct, but de more /
study erbOut de matter de more l kin
see wat er unconvinient thing dat COLI
chence must lie to some fellers wOt I
know all recon dat counts fer a thing
wot happen to yer belubed pasture
when he sermonized de people ODER OIL
Tidle de Wink island one time last
winter. Yo1 see it was dis way, some
undegenerated niger done stole my
gingam umberell an jes before meetin
was out 1 announced te meloncolic
fact to de congregation an added dar
dat de pusson was known to me an eft
dat umberell was left at de residence
ob Brudder Simon Lilywhite before
sun up de next mOrnin dar'd be no
questions axed IF not it would he my
painful duty to speak de guilty ones
name. But tells you my bredren /
was altogeder unprepared fer de see
quell, fer de next mOrnin when we got
up Brudder Lilywhite's front yard was
pretty ner been covered wild umberells;
dar was all kinds an cOlors all l don't
recon dat Brudder Simon done got
shut Oh EN- all yet. You see cherry one
Oh dem nigers thunk I meand dem. I
done touch de umberell an Coincidence
done de rest. hope my friends dat
you all amt so honest dat you's
bleeged to deni er siniration before one
has eber ben made, er glib yerselbes
erway by bein to previous wild yer de-
ninal OBJ er crime wOt no body amt
neber done cused you Oh.
We will sing de closin hymn while
you drop your nickles in de plate an
dis meetin will stan deiourned till
furder notis.