Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1895-09-22
SOME PLAIN FIGURES.
Waste Of Food Product That Needs
BE Understood to Be Appreciated.

Chicago Daily Trlbune)
A spare, nervous-looking man, arrayed
In q rusty suit OF black. and carrying a
small vallse In his hand. went into one
Of the leading hotels and addressed him
self to the clerk.
II see you use a raw potato as . PEN
wipsr." he observed.
yes" replied the hotel clerk, who
happened to be at leisure and In mood
TO be gracious. 1T Is as good az any
thing else, and keeps the pen from cor
roding." =.
Have you ever made an estimate"
asked the stranger, leaning forward and
speaking In a confidential tone. "of the
probable effect OF the general adoption OF
the potato as . pen-wiper. or rather
pen-s,icker?"
IT don't think have" said the clerk.
ut is worth your while. sir" --'oined
the man in black. speaking earnestly and
hurriediy.
"There are in thi, town to-day proba-
bly, not less than 800 hotels that habitu-
aliy use potatoes TO stick their pens In.
Each one takes a fresh potato every
morning. That uses up 200 potatoes a
day. In g. bushel there are about 100 po-
tstoes OF the size Of this one you are
using. That makes two bushels day,
or 80 bushels year. Do you begin to
see"
"My friend"
await a moment. That IL merely the
beginning. ! have spoken only or the
hotels. The use OF the potato as PEN
sticker is growing constantly: IL
spreadinx 10 mercantile establishments.
Imagine what will be the consequences
when the hotels and stores and Offices OF
this town use up 10000 selected potatoes
every day! Think Of 1t! The enormous
total OF S. 1900 potatoes. or $4,000 BUSH
els in one year. In Chicago alone! And
every blamed potato gone TO waste!
potato. sir is no good when II Is stuck
nun OF Ink. It Is rendered absolutely
valueess. Imagine, IL you can---
SAY, are you
mo, sir; I am not Mayor Pinsres IN
disguise. I am not potato enthusiast
am q plain citizen, with head ioF
figures and the figures 70 show FOR II.
With a view OF doing what one man can
do 10 prevent a custom thoughtlessly and
Inadvertently adopted from becoming a
national calamity" he proceeded. opening
his yalise. II have invented little ar
rangemen. OF wood. leather, and tissue
nauer. I call II the Comprehensive Pen
WIper. II is, as you see. very much more
ornamental than a potato. II Is cheaper.
II Involves no waste of a useful food
nroduct. Renewed once Q week. II will
last A year. at a total expense Of"
II don't went II.
AT a total expense. I was about to
say"
II don't care what the expense Is.
don't want It,"
"You don't. hey"
mo, wouldn't have q carload OF
them as O gift"
"Oh, you wouldn't! You don't care
how soon there comes a shortage In the
potato crop, and the price runs up to
ne a bushel! That's the sort OF man
YOU are. Is III You're willing to 90
ahead and plunge the country into a
notato famine, are you? Rather than
spend Is cents for useful Invention
you'd see the whole darned country
starve, would you! man. sir. that
will stand right UP in the face Of facts
ana statlstics-a man that can't be
reached by figures and doesn't care for
agures-is a man. sir, that would have
committed the crime Of 1873, II he'd had
the chance. That's all. SIR"
He put the Comprehensive Pen-Wiper
hack ia his valiss, shut the latter with
a loud snap, and with . look Of lordly
soorn strobe away.