davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1895-05-22
Humorous Department.
4 TEST CASE.

1t wasn't late when the Pitcher street
man came home, aud Notwithstanding
he walked in with a smile and sat
down on the other side Of the lamp
stand from his wife and picked up a
newspaper, as men do when they
come home, she, for some unaccount-
able reason suspected him. She look
ed up over her work at him two or
three times and finally spoke:
''By the way, John," she said, twill
you do me favor?"
"Certainly, my dear what is it?"
said John.
II want you to say this for me, Gaze
on the gay gray brigade
'Graze on the gray gay bigrade," re-
piled John triumphantly.
"Lovely," she exclaimed. "Now
try this one, "Give Grimes Jim's gilt
gig whip.'" :,
"Grive Jimes Gins gig jilt whip"
responded John, as glibly as you
please.
Excellent, excellent" she cried.
"Now this one Sarah in shawl shov-
eled soft snow softly.'"
He shivered little, but never let on.
"Sharah in sawl soveled shoft snow
softly," he said, with oratorical effect.
ooh. you dear old thing" she
laughed. "Now one more and then l
won't trouble you again"
"No trouble, I assure you, my dear, "
said John. $50 ahead"
"Well, say this, Say, should such a
shapely sash such shabby stitches
show"
John gave q great gulp to his Adams
apple, which oscillated in his throat.
"My dear" he said slowly, Il begin
to shuspect that you suspicion me, but
YOU are mistaken-entirely mistaken,
and positively decline to pose fur
ther as pronouncing dictionary. You
have observed that I have made a
sucshess as far as I have gone, but
there is a limit, and the next thing l
know YOU will be asking me to say
the scene was tuly rural a thing l
never could say without getting my
tongue twisted, and you will think
your suspicious are well grounded,
when YOU ought to know they are not" "
And John buried himself in his news
paper and utterly refused to hear any
further appeals from the other side of
the table.-Detroit Free Press.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1895-05-22

ADVISING THE PASTORAL young
lady organist in church was capti-
waited with the young pastor of a church
in the next street, and was delighted
to hear one week, that by an exchange
he was to preach the next Sunday in
her own church. The organ was pump
ed by an obstreperous old sexton, who
would often stop when he thought the
organ voluntary had lasted long
enough. This day the organist was
anxious that all should 60 well, and as
the service was about to begin she
wrote a note intended solely for the
sexton's eye. He took it, and, in
spite of her agonized beckonings, car
ried it straight to the preacher. Wha-
was the gentleman's astonishment
when he read: "Oblige me this mornt
ing by blowing away until / give you
the signal to stop. Miss Allen."-st.
Louis Republic.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1895-05-22
for tht Aomr Girtlt.
4 GENTLEMAN.


knew him for Il gentleman
BY signs that never fail
His coat was rough and rather worn,
His cheeks were thin and pale
4 lad who had his way to make,
With little time to play
knew him for Il gentleman
BY certain signs today.
He met his teacher on the street;
OF came his little cap.
My door was shut; he waited there
Until heard his rap.
He took the bundle from my hand,
And when dropped my pen
He sprang to pick it up for me
This gentleman of ten.
He thinks of you before himself,
He serves you if he can;
For in whatever company,
The manners make the man.
At ten or forty tits the same,
The manners tell the tale;
And | discern the gentleman
BY signs that never fail.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1895-05-22
g A@DU U4IE..!!.'g.!A,,a 5,

strained for Yeas. Last week matters
eliminated in a row. which resulted in
n separation. When the war Of words
was at its height, the wife cried. Bit
terIy. "Then ynu love me no longer"
"Ma,lam." replied the husband, with
his very best bow, Il have that happi-
ness Even in that trying moment,
he knew how tc live up to his reputa-
tion.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1895-05-22
SHINGLES

and LUMBER of all kinds at rock bottom
prices; or if you have the lumber, we
Shall be glad to DRY and DRESS it for
you in the most approved manner at a
VERY LOW FIGURE.
We have the most approved Sturdlvant
HOT-BLAST DRY-K1LN, and the very
best Goodell & Waters Keystone Plan
ing Machine. Yours for business,
CAROLINA BUGGY co.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1895-05-22
CAROLINA BUGGY co.
SPECIAL NOTICE !

WE find ourselves very much over
w stocked with goods, and have con-
cluded that they must go. Hence if you
want anything that goes on wheels, it will
pay you to see us before buying. For
cash, or absolutely good paper, we will
sell you goodsat prices never before heard
of in this country, quality considered.
In order to hold our men together TIL
we begin to manufacture largely again, we
have concluded to PAY SPECIAL AT
TENTION to REPAIR WORK OF ALL
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1895-05-22
Mr.. II. B. McCLAIN

Is now superintendent of the manutactur,-
ing and repairing departments, and THIS
FACT ALONE should be a sufficient
guarantee that your repair work will be
done in the very best manner. Since we
are making repair work speciality, we
are making SPECIALLY LOW PRICES.
You will find them as LOW or Low Elk
than the LOWEST, and the quality Of
the work SHALL be the VERY BEST.
You'can now get your old buggy made
new for mere song.
NEa offer yOu
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1895-05-22

pS They tell it of member of a
well-known club that he never under
any circumstances forgets to be polite.
The relations between the gentleman
in question and his wife have been
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1895-05-22

The best wearing, most stylish, and
the greatest value Of any $500 Mems
Shoes on the continent.
Best calfskin, dongola tops, solid
leather soles, with all the popular toes,
lasts and fastenings, and Lewis Cork
Filled Soles.
Each pair contains a paid-up Acct
dent Insurance Policy for 800, good for
90 days.
Wear Lewis Accident Insurance Shoes
once and you will never change. The
insurance goes for "full measure"
Talk with your dealer who sells Lewis
Shoes.
For Sale By
Glover, s. c.
November7 45 1y
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1895-05-22
v. f.. FERGUSON. J. NJ. FERGUSON.
FERGUSON BROS.

ALL
HONEST
PEOPLE
SELL
GOODS
FORA
PROFIT;
OTHERS
HAVE
THE
RIGHT
TO
AS
THEY
PLEASE.
FERGUSON BROS.
P. S.-Corn, Peas, Chickens and Eggs
wanted at all times. 'sM
Correspondence OF the Yorkville Enquirer.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1895-05-22

STRAWBERRY DUMPLINGs.-Crust
made same as for shortcake, and roll
out one-half inch thick put as many
berries in the centre of each dumpling
as you can, and fold over as you would
for apple dumpling. Bake one-half
hour, and serve with sugar and cream.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1895-05-22

BEDROOM HINTs.-Restful sleep re-
news the life.
Never sleep with the face turned
toward a near wall.
Never have children habitually
sleep with older persons.
Pure air is fully as important in
sleeping as in waking hours.
New-York tribune., 1895-02-12
TUO CONTRADICTORY CHARGES.

The opponents Of a reform administration in
this city do not appear to be aware OF The fact;
but they are continually making Use OF two
arguments against the rcformcrs that are
mutually destructive Of each other. First, they
start out by saying that the only reason why
the rcformcrs Of this city 20 into the reform
business is in order that they may get al office
Now ii is a wcknown fact that 10 profess
sional politician nothing Is more disgraccful
Than the spectacle OF decent man not a poll
tician getting an Office He looks upon il as Il
most un-Americin proceeding-a proceeding.
moreover fraught with danger 10 the Repub
lie or what amounts TO the same thing. To the
professional politician Therefore he denounces
If with breezy, not TO say windy, cloquencc
thar can be heard all over the State. from No. -
Broadway TO where the waves Of Lake Erie
bo,t upon IFS western shore. When such heaven
ordojncl ofiice-seekers as Jake Patterson and
.Wjcked' Gibbs contemplate the possibility of
thc ..gang Of reformers' serving the city by
holding office they at tncc begin TO despair OF
the Rcpublic The very thought OF such ducks"
os .Joseph H. Ch0atc William BroOkiicld, James
G. Carter or Seth Low taking part in the govern
ment of the metropolis is maddcning to men
like Barney" Martin. "Paddy" Diver, "Joc"
Koch and their friends and fellow-dealcrs among
the machine Republicans Down with the re-
formers. They want office
But, strangely enough. the organs which repre-
sent the professional politicians make another
point against the reformers that is the best pos
sible answer 10 their first point These political
dudes and so-caled reformers, they say, are un-
worthy Of notice. because they are not willing
to do anything hut talk. They are so much en-
crossed in their business or their pleasures that
they would refuse 10 take any office When il
comes to making sacrifice for the city by hold
ing fat office, II Is found that the professional
politicians are the only persons who can he de.
pended upon Ard since that is the case. what
are the reforners growing about anyhow:
Now, unfortunately, there Is some truth In the
New-York tribune., 1895-02-12
Nmnsements.


ABREY'S TIIEATRE-2-S:3 :30--A Bunch OF Nlolets.
ACADEMY OF DESIGN-Day and evenng-EAhioi'ioh
ACADEMY OF MUSIC-Si5-Rory OF the Hill
AMERICAN THEATRE-s-The Dstrfct-Attorney'
ATLANTIC GARDEN. 80 to "a Bowery-Evenng-Con-
~ and Vaudeville
INCOMING DAIE'S-Napol Exhibit
BROADWAY NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Sans Gene
CARNEGIE HALL-3-Reciial
COLUMBUS THEATRE-s:I5-The Rainmakers
paIy,s THEATRE-s:i5-The orient Express and A
Tragedy Rchearsed
EDEN MUSEE-S-The Dresden shepherdess
EMPIRE NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Masqueraders
FIFTH AVENUE THEATRE -s-Gismonda
GARDEN THEATRE-s:l5-Little Christopher
HARLEM OPERA HOt'SE-s:15-The Little Trooper
HARRIGAN'S THEATRE-S-The Major
HERALD SQUARE THEATRE-sl5-Rob Roy.
HOYTS THEATRE-s:3O-A Milk White Flag.
IRVING PLACE THEATRE-Si5- -Papageno.
ROSTER & BIAL'S-Naudevie.
LYCEUM THEATRES :3O-The Case OF Rebellious susan
METROPOLITAN OPERA HOCSE-s-Falstan
PALMER'S THEATRE-S-Thc Fatal Card.
PROCTORS-lO a. m. TO 1890 p. m-Naudevile.
STANDARD THEATRE-s:3O-Too Much Johnson
STAR THEATRE-s:lj-The Old Homestead
TONY PASTOR -2-S-Vaudevie.
18th STREET THEATRES
New-York tribune., 1895-02-12
THE GREATEST KNOWN AID
TO DIGESTION.
Drop a Nickel In the Slot.
PUSH. THEN PULL.


At the top Of the machine a handle to b
pushed. then pulled and many townspeople who
could not resist the temptation Of trying some new
device for the same that Timothy took the
wine-"for his stomach's sake'-dropped in their
nicke.s and took a push and pull out of the ma
chine But that was all. No result followed ana
there was some talk OF blowing open the boarded
appeared unlocked the machines, garnered the
wealth and retired. after explaining that exercise
was the greatest thing for digestion in the world"
The crowd was parayzed that the agent TOOK the
train without harm.
Wendell Phillips was friend Of General Butler.
else In responsible positions. In that most trying
period for those in authority at Washington, the
War OF the Rebellion. Mr.. Phillips cared nothing
for the Union he could nothing but the Goddess
OF Liberty weeping the shacklsd slave. Judge
Hoar resented these attacks men whom he
rowed by a bitter rhetorical attack OF Phillips on
the Judge himself Ralph Waldo Emerson sided
with the Judge and when Phillips presently lect-
ured in Concord. and wished 10 call on Emerson
the poet refused to receive him. Phillips died frst
Some one probably not a resident Of Concord meet
Ing Judge Hoar, asked II he meant to attend tho
funeral mo" answered the Judge, Il don't; but
/ approve of IT," This need not be taken 10 imply
that the Judge nursed malice after the death OF his
enemy. IL simply his humorous way OF putting
everything The constant use of his wit was a
habit he could not lay aside at moments notice.
1t recalls Horne Tookes irreverent bon mot. do
you go to church. Mr.. Tooke?" asked the
Archbishop Never, was the grave reply. and
Tooke added: Not that mean to say that there
Is any harm in it."-(Worcester Gazette.
New-York tribune., 1895-02-12
MIRA HELLER IN CARMEN"

\ pretty talent gone wrong through excess OF de.
sire TO do right and want of knowledge how 10
do it-this would to be the most succinct and
comprehensive criticism that could be passed
Mile. Mira Heer's effort the part OF
the heroine of Bixet's Carmen" at the opera last
night Many pleasant things have been spoken OF
Mile. Heller IN the course OF the season draw
ing to close-very many considering the small
number OF times that she has appeared, and last
night 1t seemed H. possibly these pleasant things
had had an exceedingly injurious effect upon her
IL is plain that she has great deal OF talent.
though II Is not evenly divided between her
musical and her histrionic faculties as is desirable
In dramatic singer She knows the value OF
defamation in singing. but she does not quite know
the value Of singing il the same artistic activity.
and In consequence she displays a plenitude Of
vocal Vices out OF all proportion to her merits II
is probable that this is due largely to an excess Of
desire to do justice to the drama but there has
never yet been a composer OF operas or lyric
dramas who has been willing TO sacrifice business
OF pitch to truhfuness OF verbal utterance, least
OF all Bizet. who, with all his dra matte potentially
Is musical FIRST last and all the time Therefore.
when Mile. Heller last night distorted the measures
OF Carrpen" TO the verge OF carlcature. she could
not hope to satisfy anybody gifted with a musical
ear and an understanding OF the ingenious musical
creation OF Bizet. II Is not now and never will b
pleasant or even endurabe to hear a whole num-
ber sung out OF tune. matter how zeaiousiy the
arms try to impress the listener with the
notion that she Is seeking to realize a dramatic
ideal. Neither Is II or will It ever be pleasant or
agreeable to see what in the truest conception is
i,.,s ias,cnating animasm degraded to the Level o.
SseS the S Nile da sr 5s' last nsh
very likely that this was only seeming. and that
the young woman was actually trying TO interpret
conception OF Merimees creation, which VEAL we a.,
Know. Is In no sense gentle refined. SIN between
the worst that Merimee. Bizet and his lioreits.s
accomplished and the vulsarism that Mic. Ell nisas ds
succeeded In embodying there is a tremendous ar
ference: and in that difference lies the artistic es
sence OF Carmen lies all that makes here interesting
and can make her fascinating The fault ,,cy,,x ny
her exaggeration musca,ly. well as dramaISanys
and though II Is easy to believe that ~ ~inte.isen'
sef-crlticism may eventually make her impersonts.
ton charming. for she has all the requisite smyii si
and requirements Il Is equally plain inat ehs ,hat
impersonaton can never be accepted as an 10
performance or one calculated to give P.edsuIo
an experienced and judcious public InsteaaM Mss 81
Lucille Hill sang the music Of Michaeia at is Idle
to speak OF dramatic impersonation n eomn,vcd and
with this character and sang II 80 discree.y ,s,ss
well that those who know the limitations OF MIss s
Sanderson's art could fee, no sense OF oIsaPp"SV
ment at the substitution.
New-York tribune., 1895-02-12
THE TALK OF THE DAP.

The Bible Institute, OF Chicago. OF which MI D.
L. Moody is president. will have special course
of Bible study for clergymen during me month OF
April The rates. including room and board VIII
be s. a week. The wives OF ciersy"e" VIII "e ~
mitted at the same rates
,as nroved n heaviv on NV mind since we were
engaged. and l am almost AFRAID 10 tell Sou a''u'
what is It, Charlie? Speak out"
dS am is tsat ai" she exclaimed with sigh Of
relief: II have always been rniversalist my;
SELF but OF course wnsn nr we Sit.
ings.
A writer in 1.-The Religious Herald" OF Hartford
relates the following incident, which occurred IN
the theological department OF Berlin ohi'ers'ty'
"One of the professors. coming rather iate 10 'he
lecture found the students in an uproar, ana when
1t continued, begged to be informed OF the Gauss
and amid roars and Kisses and stunning or rect
was told that there was lady in the room. The
professor said politely that he would continue as
usual but the students would not let MIN. ana ne
was forced to ask the cause OF the trouoie 10 re-
tire She had to walk up in front OF the students
and pass by the desk to reach the door. "neh
that closed peace was at once restored. iha' WAS
the theological department. too
THE oLD-FAsHIONED FIREPLACE.
How dear to my heart are the days OF my chilo-
When there were no cold gas stoves to rouse
49,
When the hickory backlog, brought In from ths
Gave out the bright heat of the od-fashions4
fire,
How it cracked and sparkled, and huttered ana
How nice il all seems when It's put into rhyme!
Yet to tell the plain truth, to our youth unen'
You Couldn't warm more than one side at
time.
Ah the oId-fashioned fireplace, the roaring OLD
How brightly it glowed with its sparkle ana
How it warmed up your shlns to point Of real
While the cold winter breezes played tag on
your spine! -Qndianapoiis JourhaL
New-York's advantages as health resort are
viv,dly indicated by the fact that there hasn't
been a case Of sunstroke within her limits In more
than week.
Some time ago the Austrian Temperance Society
offered a prize OF 800 crowns for the best essay on
how the growing abuse OF alcoholic stmulants can
be count teracted in schools Nlnety-six essays were
received and the prize was awarded 10 PROFESSOR
Ritter Won Kraus.-(Medcal Record.
A Chicago paper says that smooth stranger 70
Gently placed a number OF nickel-in-the-s.ot ma
chimes In the town OF Evanston. The machines
bore the following inscriptions
New-York tribune., 1895-02-12
TWELVE PAGES.
THE NEWS THIS MORNING.

Foreign.-The Chinese deny that the Chen
Yuen and Ting-Yuen were sunk at We-HaWei.
- There was a severe eastery gale in the
North Sea and the Channel; several steamers
put into Queenstown because Of storm. -
Miss Boecker the only woman saved from the
Elbe, told her story to the Queen and Empress
Frederick at Osborne. 80 The revolutionary
forces Of Tolird. Colombia have surrendered
Congresr-Both branches IN session. -
Senate: Tie Postoffce Appropriation bill was
debated. - House: Most Of the day was
spent in consideration Of the Legislative Execu-
tive and Judicial bill.
Domestic-Governor Morton signed the Power
of Removal bill - Assemblyman Gray intro
duced a racing bill drawn in accordance with the
anti-pooselling provision Of the new Constitution.
- Acknowledgement McAlpin issued an order
constituting Troop A a squadron with two troops,
Nos. / and 9. - Charles +. A. Gayarre, the
Louisiana historian. died in New-Oreans -
II Is believed that Secretary Gresham will de-
mand redress for the banshment of Americans
from Hawaii. - Jouett Meekn. the pitcher,
was signed by Manager Davis of the New-York
Baseball Club.
City and suburban-The French line steamer
Ia Gascogne eight days overdue from Havre,
was sighted off Shinnecock, L. l., yesterday
afternoon and at HIS o'clock last night was
anchored off the Bar: her steering gear was dis
abled. - Intense interest was shown in the
coming appointments of the Mayor. =-= An
nual dinner OF the Society Of Colonial Wars took
place - Stocks dull and heavy; declines in
the Grangers and Cordage; foreign exchange
higher
The Weather-Forecast for to-day: Generally
fair westerly winds Temperature yesterday:
Highest 33 degress lowest is; average, 24%.
New-York tribune., 1895-02-12
PERSONAL

Mrs Louisa r. Roble "A granddaughter OF Cen
eral Stark now eighty-hve years Of age. is living
In Manchester y. n. She is in excellent health,
and is In full possession OF all her faculties.
j. Takasusu. a japanese graduate OF oxford has
translated into English description OF India and
the Malay Islands written 200 years ago, by l.
Using a Chinese Buddhist priest.
The Rev John Hazen White. OF Faribault Mimi.
who has Just been elected Bishop OF the Episcopal
Diocese OF Indiana has had varied experience,
having been for sixteen years a rector, and for
many years connected with the Seabury Divinity
School. in the diocese OF Minnesota. He is about
nfty years OF age. man OF strong physique. and
distinguished for his energy and capacity for az
fairs He Is said to be unusually effective as a
preacher. Those who know him say that he Is ex-
he is not only essentially spiritual but that he has
the practical administrative qualhcations which
ncated at Hobart College and at the General
Theological Seminary. OF this city.
Dr. Goodwin, the eminent antiquary and expert
In heraldry and genealogy. who died recently In
Edinburgh passed life OF extraordinary advent
ure He had accompanied exploring expeditions into
the Arctic regions the Australian wllds. the South
Pacific Islands and siberia. He returned to Edin-
burgh ten years ago. and has since lived a very
quiet life among small circle OF friends
Herbert Putnams election librarian OF the
Boston Public Library is regarded as an ideal ap-
pointmcnt by the press OF Boston 1t Is said that
his name was first suggested last month by Mr.
Tnghast. the State Librarian. lie has been de-
clared by President Eliot. OF Harvard to be one OF
the three best librarians In the United States Mr.
Putnam is OF the late g. L. Putnam the pub
Usher. and born I'm this city In 1861. lie was
educated In the public schools OF this city and en-
Tered tered Harvard W M sS 6emE graduated In 1883 lie
and In the fall OF 1884 he went to Minneapolis. where
law to become libra, Ian OF the Minneapolis Athe-
naeum. lie held that position for seven years, dur
New-York tribune., 1895-02-12

son alone should not be accepted except uPo"
rho cleares, indi, atoms OF its practical utiil'!.
tyn, -, such indications are disccrnible III l's
nrov,siors II begins by creating salared
Board of Education. in defiance OF all the 'each-
,,,. of .xncrience and Of all reasonable prenic-
lions as to the dcmoralizng effect OF SUCH an
innovation: and on that foundation 1t proceeds
-. oors,ruct an cxtravagant. unstable and inogi-
.o, svs,om Of which enough can he foreseen I'D
,n,o,r II and which would probably develop
additional evils in application
rho pavey bill. on the contrary. not OH!
comes into public observation Win tue i''p'''
s,ve Endorsement Of exceedingly competent au-
thoritIcs who have no personal interest," III ''
odontion. buf Immediately commends Itself 10
general favor by its simplicity. pfccisioh' e"'''
nrcbcnsvcness and practical character II pro-
vides for an unpaid Board Of Educa'ion as 'h'
source Of all authority in school matters "''n
larger powers than the present Board. bu' Tree"
from minor burdens of administrations lor
Roard of Superintendens selected for th'ir SIKH
and rcputc as educators: for the appointment OF
teachers from a list Of candidates proved ny
od.ou,to fest to bc eligible: for the complete
scnorotion of the business from the cducaiional
administration. and for the abolition OF 'he pres
cnt inspectors and the retention OF the prrSe"'
trustees with modified powers OF visia'ioh 'h"
recommendation. These are the mann 1'a''"'H"i
thc bill. and they are rounded into Il compie''
whole by harmonious details Of construction IL
is an honest piece Of work beyond the poSSipih!
of doubt. and we believe that II would prove
cffect,la I'm eliminating the abuses ana supply
ing the deficiencies of the present ougrown ana
Jiscrcdtpl sySicuI