The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-11-16

sitOllC " htA"iAHN INV 'pB1C'S-S' 1
II
\ member of a hunting party step
ped into n of cur stores the other
day and addressing the clerk in
charge. said: Give me one of those
horrible reminder travelling bags,
please" The clerk was dumbfounded
and not replying the customer contin-
ued: Il said give me one of those
boa constructor skin bags: and want
it long enough to hold a ~,IOng-necked
quart. too. Look alive. now. young
Teller. I've got to catcha train.
We have from the astronomical
world the announcement that the
comet Faye is approaching this earth
at the rate of several million miles Il
day. If it hits the earth, as some of
them seem to fear, it will strike with
the force of Is. o 900 foot-tons and
the people who are standing around
in the neighborhood are apt to be
hurt. Every once in a while the
astronomers discovers far off in re-
mote space 1t small speck. upon the
strength of which they Immediately
work themselves into 4 state of eN-
citement. which ultimately spreads to
the more ignorant and superstitiOus.
Just at present this phenomena is
bein" Witnessed since the telegram sent
ont from Keil Sept. - hat Prof.
Javellc of Nice had discovered the APP
proach of Fayc's comet. Immediately
there began the calculation of orbits.
The astronomers. some Of them with
out taking time to look up into the
heavens and see the Ominous body
which was reported TO be approaching,
pulled down heirmaps and planisheres.
Upon these they began to hurriedly
draw lines. the while consulting tables
path of the earth as it swings through
space. This was easily marked oil.
The other was a long curve represent
inc the orbit of Fayc's comet. As
was expected. these two lines crossed.
Faye's comet is to cross the path of
the earth. But right here is the inter-
csting point. If the earth in its pro-
@ress through immensely isOn schedule
time. it will be just al this crossrOad
of the heavens ut aboutthc time Faycs
comet is due to arrive. Such Il calcu-
lation and announcement at this time
is characteristic of the astronomers.
The world in its needless plunge
through space would be apt to lose
sight of the astronomers if the latter
did not from time to time throw a
scare into it.
Prize lighting does not seem to be
quite as respectable As il used to be;
in fact, it is getting to be somewhat
disreputable, and ''let all people say,
Amen"
The work of putting in an ~electic
light plant at Dexter will be begun
next week and will be pushed rapidly
until completed.
At a meeting of some of the prOmi-
nent citizens at Cairo last week an
athletic club was organized with a
membership of forty. a constitution
and bylaws were drawn up and an
initiation of ten dollars was charged.
They expect in a few weeks to have a
membership of one hundred and a
capital of one thousand dollars with
which to purchase all ne~cessaries used
in the development of the human form
by indulging in athletic exercises and
social amuSements.
The Old Maids Convention" Il
new organization at Cairo, ILL.,. is
creating considerable comment. If the
ladies of this city were to organize a
society of that kind they would have
an immense membership.
An undertaken advertising in a
Ransomville, N. V, paper says: Il
desire to say to my old friends and all
others who may be interested. that |
have purchased a 81 ,000hearse, robes,
tassels for the horses, and everything
necessary for a first-class funeral.
Cannot be beat in the county, and |
will give a free funeral to the first one
that will patrOnize me from Wilson,
Youngton, Pekin, LewistOwn, and
Ransomville. Also am prepared TO
give funerals 30 per cent. cheaper than
anyone else in the county. | will give
you s. for every funeral you will bring
me. OF course a man a plant a
corpse if he can't spell funeral. My
cry is if You want to economic be
quick and be dead"
The presentation of a loving cup to
Comedian Joseph Jefferson in the
Garden Theater, New York, last FRI
day afternoon added another to the
notable histrionic events of the me-