Mohave County miner., 1895-04-13
That Wall from the PopuIist Hencoop,

A short time ago the Mineral Wealth
published story, written by the editor,
impossible fantasies OF Rider Haggard
and the strange, wierd mystery OF Jules
Verne. but after lengthy introduction.
OF gyraticai conior,ions Of the English
language, he stopped short. 81 It IL
~ish this impromptu editor all the time
OstensibIy he started a republican paper.
and the wheel-horses and strong men OF
that party pledged support, but as time
rolled by this far-siahied editor caught =
glimpse OF the promised land. and the
P)prlist party was his Moses to pilot him
through. He deserted his lifelong follow
ing and launched forth as an advocate Of
the great upstart party which ignomin-
iously went to the wall at the last elec.
ton. Immediately after the slaughter
Of this socslled upheavsl-reform party
he takes down his popnlist heading and
cries "Free Coinage, 10 to l." "Oh,
consistency, thou art a jewel"
In his issue Of yesterday he casts cross
legged slurs at our bald head and sd.
vises US to have IL cracked and some.
thing inserted into the vacuum. We
admit our insuperionty and bow down TO
this mon strosity Of brain power and
humble ourselves before It's purile ex.
uberance Of thought, and confess that
our head don't need diamond hitch to
keep II in shape.
He also says we are in love with red
headed gIrl. Good Tne list OF his
courtships run MP into &C IRE oi unsuc-
cessful attempts yearly, and extend from
Kinsman al; the way to the Moq,i Ia.
dian reservation. He is now ready to
make love to any one Of the feminine gen.
der, though her hair be white as snow
and her head as toothless as forty year
old burro. Start up the matrimonial
bureau again, old boy.
Those original poems he inflicts on the
public would make maverick cry for
its mamma and stop q twenty-four mule
team on its way from White Hills. Great
jumping tsrsntulas! how they make us
weep.
Not finding any flesh for his meat after
the scoring he got last week he jumps
after the inoffensive fat printer and pokes
fun at him in way that would shame a
Zulu. Oh, thou gymnssticated over.
worked brain fowl, spread your wings
and soar In the fantastic flights of garbled
language, and work out your croakings
iii corns grow upon your brain and the
excrescences swell your head inst little
more. Take another hitch in the cinch,
Lew
Why this blonde editor is wasting
away his energies out in Arizona we
can't understand. Now, ST., don't hide
your light, but let it scintillats across the
continent. and before long you may be
offered lucrative position on New
York daily in the capacity Of cuspidor
cleaner.
We fain would close this eulogy Of q
great man withou. putting on record some
deed Of bravery or romantic episode that
has occurred in his checkered career as
horse tanner, fat-bost captain, colonel Of
4 pack train, and general sllround hippo
drome, but feel that it would be unkind If
We did not. The most pathetic and start.
ling event occurred last fall just before cleo
ton. One Of the speakers and prom.
nent candidate happened to arrive in
Kingmsn on Sunday evening, end, of
course, his constituents received him with
. boom and roar Of giant powder. st..
was mincing over three line local, and
at the first shot leaped to his feet, yelled
:" train robbers" seized his blunderbus
and sprinted for the depot, and we heard
him shout above the roar OF the powder,
hang on to the safe, st. Charles to the
rescue" When he realized the situa-
ton he fell limp and helpless, and as
we carried him home to his castle he
family murmured, 4" Please hand me that
bottle Of acid phosphate. as / have tired
feeling" THE MAsToDoN.