New-York tribune., 1895-10-13
THE Talk or THE DAY.

:, pookstore.-customor- you The Prs
oner OF Zenda" in paper?
Salesg.rl-No, bound
Charming Result-A.-You had luck Win yow you,
play dear boy; now you VIII be aDie 10 pay ~"
'1R3.@Oh It's not necessary Ny creditors @ Keep
ali my notes for the sake OF my autograph'-N"e' "e'
gende Biaetter'
1t was a Maine boy who defined a demasosue %
"a vessel that holds wine. gin wh'skey or any oner
liquor"
No Excuse-she dust kissed)-How dare you SIT
Us-I hope you will pardon me; ! lidn ih'Na D.,
sbeIThinko OF course you didn't think BUY
your inability 10 think is no excuse Ior your oSnu voa
had stopped to think you would not have wanted
10 kiss me-(Indianapohs Journal
Railroad kidney is one OF the latest add','ohs 70
the list o, special d:sea-es. and It Is saia 10 p0
wholly due TO the dust and CRIME that hiters in'o
the system through the pores OF the skin ana
ubich under continuous railway travel, II is i'm
ossihla IN eradicate To any with tendency
10 kidney trouble railroad travel for week Is saa
70 he most dangerous. There is no surh danger 10
sea travel for there is no permanent disease KNOW"
which is peculiar TO the ocean
E,ect,oneering. well" said the Kentucky cam
paigner II have left absolutely nothing uhdohe 10
That's good" replied the candidate 49,.
Il have considered no personal sacr.hcs '0'
that's very kind of you"
II knew you would appreciate H. so oir 10 tos IT,
county. | even drank water with the Prohioltlonis'
party-and he's going to be right with US -,"asn-
ington star
In an interesting paper which he read before tns
meeting OF the Actuarial Society OF America III
uontreal the other day william r. Standen. the
well-knoHn insurance man OF this city. discussed
the relation OF certain mental disorders to haru
times lie said that he had learned by investiga'
ton that a marked Increase OF mortality from orah
diseases and trouble Of the nervous system mas In
yar.ably followed the occurrence ot panics ana
periods OF long g-susiained financial stringency ana
he pointed out the physical and mental ailments
most unravorably affected by such conditions.
obliged 10 stop in a small town where there was
but one hotel at which the Accommodations wer::
waiter brought his dinner. the Boston man found
thai he TO have roast beef. sieWed tona'pSess
corn peas, potatoes aad cotee the Vese.ao,e,s
served In the usual store china canoes presently
he said TO the waiter; DICK, pass the SPOONS, oas,
The waiter rolled his eyes In genuine amazemenjs
"Spoons sab. What do YOU want with the spoonH
There's yo' spoon in yo' corn '-tArgonaut
The Philadelphia Record" Of Monday tells the
following amusing nci1e,t: after the regular SER
vice at the Baptist Temple yesterday morning the
communion tables were uncovered and while tnoss
who had merely come hear the sermon were going
ont the pastor the Rev Russell ". Conwei ana
the deacons prepared for the solemn rite that was
10 follow The silver goblas were rilled with wine
bread was broken and the audience was already
hushed by the impressive p'eliminares. wnen man
a little past middle age. wi unkempt whiskers anu
linen besmirched. stepped forward % the ai'a''
Ills gloves and hat were all that remained OF T"
spectablty. and these were the worse for wea''
but his manners were as exquisite as those OF
polished Frenchman He stepped bl!they up 10 ~.
Conwell. touched him gently on the shoulder anu
with the air OF a man paying profuse comphif'e".N
ne said: My friend. may | touch YOU Tor i've "
get back 10 New-York? Tn, touch didn't work. ana
the ceremony proceeded while the unkemp' oH'
moved away absorbed in deep Thought
Adds to His Stock Of FactsEnssh Tourist ,-eys .Sy!
! WesO-Is II always as-aw~danSerous 10 ""'~
Nat %stiye~Great Scott mo- tbs is the time Of yea. nis
when the train robbers are awdys 1olus un' ia "a
sest killing and robbng. That's whytTe eau II Inv
! Indian summer. 80 49,. -, oo,, Good
English Tours: 'whpp.ng or MS ho'eo0oN'
In Meadvne. Penn. the local agrcuturs.
wearled OF his unfruitfu, transactions with the per
| suas,ve and plausible greensocds man. has sons
himself into the business Of c)vnterie'ting turnat
out imitation halves and quarters so IKE w ..s,,.
thing that they circulate really IN tne .,.,s ne's
hood except among It's most eSperen0eu " "a
II is rather an innovation In The cus'or"sl' .,.,ss
! Of farmers but may be IN some way assOs -
with A local theory Of free coiFage not onF - rs.
| or silver hut OF any plausibf imitation OF
metals II the Meadville typeof Agriculture ctr
more abundant there would h no hnan',a
sency anywhere but a pressing need Oh IT,. W.. IA,
jail accommodations such as that co"'"'"
Just experienced.
| peformsl The well-dressel gentleman iasy
| the door OF the house of the knd .hearseaA gente
| Two wears ago" began the weii-I'.ss .sa,rn II 10
! man II came 10 your door as poor ua'np
to you that owe my .sIa rs.o.lnaa sdr sSn.
"Ya. Psrhaps YOU have forgotten H. ,aw Ur more
gave me piece OF steak b!t a. .nhsrns IL NJ spirit q
! usnl ,sseSk
/ determination and resolved to cohauvs, n, The spirit
or die In three days corquerd ", "a a's 90, such
u, d.,.rninstiou before mentioned had So,ro 10
start that Il has kept rsht o' ana
thank you'-- ,, 10 a .,ammed the doon
She resolved 10 never aid anotter uans, n,ss,al vsrn
next one that comes alons WIZ se' '"~
| welo ONE Cincinnati 0axe1t~