davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1895-12-21
THE GIRLS PLANNED IT.
Alarm Clocks Set to Play Practical
Joke That Failed.

Alarm Clocks Set TO Play fraCtacai
Joke That Failed.
"Girls. I've got a scheme that will help
us TO get even with John for some Of his
practical jokes OH u.s. said young lady
to her sister and cousin on Capitol Hill
Thursday night. where can we borrow
some little alarm clocks
ST know of several" said the sister:
and by dinner time they had managed to
borrow and smuggle five into Brother
Joints sleeping room. While the rest OF
the family were at the dinner table the
girls went up to Johns room, and the
alarm to one clock was set for l a. M.
and the time-keeper hidden behind a
picture in one corner. The next was SET
for 2 O'Clock and placed behind his look
ing glass; the 3 o'clock alarm was placed
carefully behind the washboWi, Wh1le the
4 o'clock was laid away in good shape
under the bed. They had fixed one for
S O'clock and hung it by a string BE-
hind the center of the head-board of the
bed. BY this time they we're ready to
dress for the t1eater, save the Washing
ton Star.
About 9 o'clock Johns grouty Uncle
Harry came rather unexpectedly from
Boston. and as the best thing to be done
ne was given John room for the night.
Of course he was very tired. 1t was
nearly midnight when the girls came
home, and they knew nothing of the
change in the sleeping arrangements
They awaited the first gun. When
o'clock was w-h-i-r-r-e-d out by the clock
behind the picture, the girls heard roll
ing over in bed and one or two tndlstinct
grumbles. At o'clock there was some
muttering, and course that clockP' came
in a gruff voice from under the bed
clothes. At the machine behind ihe
washbowl gct in its work, and the
girls heard the occupant of the bed
bounce out On the floor and an evident
skirmish after matches, accompanied ny
several remarks in full-faced .ltailc.
Then when o'clock came:
t:Blankety-blank that blank clock to
blanknationr was the suppressed howl Of
a. hoarse voice. as a heavy body bounded
out Of the bed again. s'What the d
has got into the blanked thing anyway
and the girls heard him rummaglng
around and fall over chair. They had
kent awake to enjoy the fun, but the
explosions were getting SO hot they be-
came frightened Finally quiet reigned
again.
At 5 O'Clock the alarm behind the head
board commenced it's reveille and it was
too much for the old man.
"Well, TIL be blankety dash blanked;
I'd just like to smash the face OF the man
who made the Internal thing and the
blankety fool who bought it.
The girls heard him land OH the hoor,
all the while growing to himself. In
a short time they heard the front door
open and close, and then they went to
sleep The early morning train NORM
carried very irate Boston man toward
home. and at the breakfast table on Cap
}tol Hill the opinion was expressed that
"IJncle Henry must be late sleeper.
The reason for his hasty departure is
stjll a mystery to the old people at the
house, but it was given to Star man in
confinedce by one of the young ladies'
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1895-12-21
Every Day Things.
BY ADAMS SCHOLES.

There's poetry in winning ways,
III every soft and tender tone;
There's poetry in simple lays;
There's poetry in love of home. L ...
There's poetry in ripping brooks, !,
And in the ocean wild and wide;
There's poetry in loving looks,
When these we love are by our side.
It's in the soft,low whispering breeze
and in the tempests fearful roar,
,rhat rends to shreds the giant trees,
And aashes wild waves to the shore.
There's poetry in every flower
Dispensing fragrance on the air: =
And in the calm. still tWilight's hour
, When nature seems in silent prayer.
We hear it in the whispering pine, /,
We hear it on the mountains crest,
IT'S in each tree, each shrub and vine
Ii Ana shady bush, where birdlings nest
lft,e in the feathered songster's notes
III In every tender, sweet refrain;
@fmposingly serene it floats,
f7sO'er 1dewy n1eads and waving grain.
All nature is one varied poem,
Mysterious though the lines may seem
Througfout the universal dome.
The writings, Of a God are seen.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1895-12-21

been the occasion for sincerest regret
among his numerous sffr lends. For 81
teen years#he has had chargeYof the ALI
gnstinian Friary, and the improvements
he effected during that time are many
and great, among them being the cree ,sc
ton OF a beautiful residence, and the
decoration Of the church, Indeed to his
interchangeable exertlons may be attribnt-
ed the existence OF an Augustinlian Fri
5ary in the town. b ':.S7l. 3.
Mr.. J. B.. Dillon, J. IF Ballina.: has
given an abatement Of three shillings in
the pound to the tenants Of the 3TaaIfe
estate, over which he is receiver. .T 8 .ss
On Sunday moraing November 10, a
melancholy event took place in Castle
bar, in the sudden death Of Mr.. Patrick
Kelly, railway guard on the M. G.: ".
railway He had arrived by the morn
ing train from Ballina. and expired Il few
hours after, being attended by Rev.
Father Eeany, C. G.. Deceased was in
disposed for some time previously, but
his demise was unexpected. He was
general fayorite among all classes, and
much sympathy is expressed for his
family. ts7ss
The death is also announced, at Castle,
bar, on November 3, after a brief Illness,
of Mr. Andrew Jennings. His funeral
took place on the 5th, when the remains
were inferred in the Old Church. De
ceased leaves widow and young family
to mourn his loss.
DR.. NJ. S. Lavan. of Bangor, has been
sworn in as magistrate for the County
of Mayo.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1895-12-21
BY ELLA DARE.

%I hear 'em talkin ey'ry day
s'BGut little folks an how they play, 49,.
Ar how they're havin' lots of fun.
The boys an girls at jump an run.
!. An how no trouble ever sticks ss5
TO, young uns with their little tricks
An so they set to wishi1S' then,
At they was young 'uns stead OF men
y s:ut, now, 7 tell We! 'tisn't so,
As all the little fellers know.
If they was us, an we was them.
They'd ph wish to gracious they was men
There's lots OF things we want to do,
Butt sure as anything, it's true, %
The more we want the more we can't,
4 ITS Yes, you will! It's mo, you shan't!,
Come here, Il say, an answer me,
An tell me quick as quick can be
Just where you've been, an what you've
333s d done; i
An did You walk, or did you run?'
#"Do see your Jacket! How it's torn!
It's all in rags, an can't be worn
Till I have sewed, an stitched, an
An, worst of all. It can't be matchbox
.tDon't step so hard! Don't speak SO loud
Do stop your noise! Don't bring croWo
of ulaymates here! Be careful there!
Don't rock SO hard in that new chair!
If they was US, an we was them, ~
They'd wish to gracious they was men.
Of course all little boys is bad,
An makes their mothers awful mad;
An needs lickin' ev'ry day
For 1eavin' school, an runnin' way.
70 20 a-swimmin' when it's hot,
lest over cross the nledder lot
Down to the river, don't We know,
Where all the biggest fellers go.
we 6asn't whittle- not bit,
Or else the folks 'ud have a mt,
If we should scatter on the floor
Some nice clean shavin's-three or four
An what's a knife for, If it amt
To cut your name out in the paint
An make the letters jes' as good
AS letters can be, writ i'll wood?
But, all the same, they're awful cross,
An scold about the dreadful loss,
An shut us up an turn the key.
THEY'LL let us know! They'll let us see!
An. what's a. teller goin' to do?
I'D like to find Out--Wouldn't you!
Seems like we boys don't have no sight!
Seems like we never can Go right!
AM then we're hankerin all the time
For sonethin in the eatin line;
DIR stomacts' empty AS can be,
But ''goodies'' are locked up, you see!
An we most starved atween the meals!
It's awful how q Teller feels, r.
.A-1ongin' like to eat an eat I
All sorts of stuff, ats nice an sweet!
But grown-up folks all smile an say,
do watch the happy boys at play.
IT'S little care that they can know;
I sometimes hate to see 'eln grow"
If they was us, an we was them,
They'd wish to gracious they was men!
Oak Park, Ill. .
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1895-12-21
ACIF'IC Line

Is hest to Vancouver, Victoria. Seattle,
Tacoma. Portland and San Francisco.
Sleeping and Dining Car serviee be-
tween st Paul and Minneapolis and .'#s
Vancouver and Seattle daily Conneot
ton ut Vancouver with Canadian Pa
cific Royal Mail Steamships for China.
Japan ana Australia 81 ,. 3s2 f1 ,.ss
For tickets and further in formation !.
apply to d.
" S. THORN, City Ticket Agent, y ss
500 Robert ST.. ST. Paul (Hotel Ryan,
II. E. HUNTINGDON, City Ticket Agent
273d ST. s., Minneapolis. Guaranty Bld'g)
C. B. HIBBARD, G.. 2. A.,
Minneapolis Mimi.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1895-12-21
NYE ON FARMING.
How He Would Borrow Money and

How He Would Borrow Money and
Succeed.
The following advice from Bill Nye to
the farmers will explain itself:
/. Let every farmer borrow every cent
he can, securing the capitalist on farm
and stock, tools, hay, grain, feed. growing
crops. bees, hornets, fruits, timber lands
Entertainments and appurtenances there
unto belonging or anyWise appertalnlng
everything, in fact, of which he is law
seized, whether in fee simple, fee tan,
in escrow, escheat or possession, expec-
tation, reversion, felony, attainer, cham
petry, forfeiture, dover, eleemosynary.
rights, Inheritance, by tenure or at suf~
ferance by conquest or grand larceny,
freehold or for life or during good be-
1avior or by the courtesy, or by hook and
crook or shifting use, or by remainder
CT auottent or for the cigar, or on the
side. Or sub rosa, or vi ct armis or interim,
or willy nilly. or pune pro tune, or out
side the city limits, Or to have and to
hold forever 2. Go on farming. 8.
Farm some more. 4. Farm until the COWS
are seen to be in the act Of coming home.
5. When asked for principal or interest,
simply regret in a gentlenanly way that
you are unable to pay the same, which
will be absolutely true If my own exper-
fence amounts to anything whatever.
6. Do this patiently until foreclosure.
and then hire out by the month TO farm
the place, as the capitalist Of course does
ret know how to farm. II he had he
would have been a poor man. Z. know
OF no better way to get even with capital
than to compel it to own the farms, keep
them in repair and have them operated.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1895-12-21
Grover and His 11.4 Pound Dog.

4 "a little dog Of black aud tan.
a present, for great, big man:
Y The dog weighs but a pound n q quart
+S err ~
Il h,he man u hundred moren he orter,
y The dog is but four inches tall,
The mans the high chief sofaus all. Ss
The tiny pup Is two yearsold, 5E.
II The man has fifty summers told.
i And vet the dog both barks and bites,
ssrhe man does neither, though our
ss Are rsienaced East and threatened
3: West, i rs IL . 5&
u vhich does his task appointed best
That wee rldicNlons ki-oodse, s.,. !, ;
s ~ I'LL IN eM, York # ecorder.
iaweiry,. Diamonds and all
gold acttir-
q
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1895-12-21
The Felons of Our Land.
.A.ir-Auld Lang Syne.


Fill up once more, we'll drink toast
To comrades far away
No nation upon earth can boast
= OF drawer hearts than they.
And though they sleep in dungeons deep
:, Or fee, outawed and banned.
We love them yet, we can't forget "
The felons of our land! -
In boyhood's bloom and nnanhood's pride
Freedoomed by alien laws,
Some on the scaffold proudly died
For holy freland's cause.
And, brothers, say, shall we today
Unmoved, like towards, stand,
Whilst traitors shame, and foes defame
The feons of our land?
Some in the convict's dreary cell
Have found a living tomb,
And some unseen. unfrlended, tell
Within the dungeons gloom!
Yet, what care we, although 1T be
Trod by a ruf1iian band s.,
God bless the clay where rest today
The felons of our land!
Let towards sheer and tyrants froWn,
OH, little do we care
A felons caps the noblest crown
An Irish head can wear!
And every Gael in Innisfail
(INho scorns the serf's vile brandt.
From Lee to Boyne, would gladly join
The felons Of our land!
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1895-12-21

There Is Il man i'll our town
dis name my memory slips)
Who kissed ten thousand microbes
OF his sweetheart's ruby lips.
And when he found what he had done
With all his might and main
He rushed up there another night
And kissed them on again.
--Pick-Nle-Up
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1895-12-21
TIPPERARY.

The Clonmel corporation, ON Novem-
Der %, Endorsed the petition for the re-
prieve of the man Shorts, now under
sentence OF death in Canada.
The Carrick-on-Suir saw mills were
sold by auction OH November Is, to Mr..
George White, in trust, for FL, 200. Mr..
Thomas Rocket was the arlctioneer.
A severe accident befell Mr.. Parker
Hutchinson, SON of Mr.. Anthony Parker,
D. L., Castleough, in the hunting field,
on November 16, when he got kicked by
a horse ON the leg, and sustained a COM
pound fracture.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1895-12-21
Inc

Direct route to ali Eastern points. 3
Through Sleeping ard Dining Gar serv..ssE.
ice between ST Paul Minneap polls, OF s
Il tawa, Montreal and Boston, Solid n
Trains between st. Paul. Minneapolis q
and Montreal. Lowest Rate. d s8;
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1895-12-21
LEITRIM.

The death is announced of Sir Gilbert
King, at his residence, Charlestown,
Drumsna, on November II, ait the age OF
SO years. Deceased, who was second son
of Sir Robert, the second baronet, was
born in 1872, and succeeded his father in
1926. He was high sheriff for Leitrim
in 1876, position filled by his son, Mr..
Gilbert King, Jamestwn, In 1883. De-
ceased had the reputation of being a SYM
pathetic and considerable landlord, and
lived, during his life, at home among his
tenantry.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1895-12-21
TYRONE.

On the morning of November -, about
3 o'clock, fire was discovered ON the
premises of Mr.. Mckee, confectioner, at
the lower end of Scotch street, DUNCAN
non. The fire had so far taken posses
sion of the lower part Of the house that it
was with some difficulty the inmates were
got out, Mr.. Mckee himself having to
jump out of the first story window, The
premises were completely Quilted.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1895-12-21

q small QlldnLiLy OIL SplTltS. Oh American
manufacture, on which duty had not been
paid. The articles were found in her
trunk after she had stated she had moth
ing liable to duty. She was fined IS. 3d..
being the single value and duty, and 5s.
3D.. COSTS The tobacco and spirits were
forfeited. .5ase
At the same petty sessions Thomas
Mc(1rath was put forward, charged with
having unlawfully concealed two pounds
seven ounces of Cavendish tobacco, on
which duty had not been,paid. The pris-
oner was fined in the single value and
duty, making in all FL is. I'd.
At a. recent meeting Of the committee
of the Cork Harbor Board it was de-
cided to advertise for an engineer in sue
cession to the late Mr.. Barry. 1t was
resolved to allow f200 year to the fam
lily of the late engineer.
On November 10 the ship Socotra, in
command Of Capt. Gaertner, arrived In
Queenstown from San Francisco. On the
previous Sunday, when twenty miles
south Of Cork Haxb0r, she encountered
|; the full force of the terrific southwest
gale which swept along the Irish coast
on that night and the next day. Nearly an
entire suit Of sails was blown away; the
vessel was blown to the eastward, nearly
as far as the tTuskar, and it took her two
DAYS to get back to the entrance Of 6he
harbor. where she was taken in tow and
brought to safe anchorage in the port.
| During the severe storm on November
10. which ragged over Fermoy and the
district uprooIing trees In all dire tions,
owing to the mall car road at MalloW be-
ing blocked between Fermoy and Bally-
hooly. the driver was directed TO take
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1895-12-21

The Boy of &. It II, ].

BRos. y ! PRoPRIEToRs
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1895-12-21
SLIGO.

Mr.. Il. Foley, the present proprietor Of
the well known Tough Gill brewery,
Sligo seems determined To- sustain the
name OF that old establishment. He has
secured the services of Mr.. P. Graham, a
highly qualified and experienced brewer.
That MIR. Graham is SO is proven by the
fact than porter made by him when he
was in charge of the Cloankilty brewery
County Cork, from which place he came
to Sligo, secured the gold medal at the
Chicago exhibition.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1895-12-21
FERMANAGH.

On November 20, Coroner Porter held
an inquest on the body of a man named
Hugh Thompson, who had been killed in
q fax mill at Dunbreen. Deceased was
putting flax through the mill rollers when
his hands were caught and he was pulled
Into the swiftly revolving rollers and in
stantIy killed. The body was terribly
n,angled. q The jury returned a verdict
Of :accFdentaI death
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1895-12-21

is fits rumored that the Salisbury gov
ern1nent are about to appoint a promi-
netit Catholic Tory Unionist to the presi-
slency OF the Galway Queens College.
ThereTare Sat present nearly one thou
sand psstients In Ballinasloe h1natic
asylum, 90 leoted from all parts Of the
Western provinces. II
III the last Tuam presentment sessions
Colonel Nolan. i. 81 Pr Z, in the chair, a case
of iI1nalicio injury arising out Of the;
.sleetipn I'd North Ga Way at the recent.
genera seleetio was heard and decided.
afaltha SD k, ~ b1ack smith d, who resides
insf ha I'LL the
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1895-12-21
QUEENS COUNTY.
IN, SnroaQmf. ElAnQ

On November l6, Sergeant Flanagan
arrested a public carrier named James
Doran, residing in Carlow !Graigus, on a
charge OF having fatally assaulted a man
named Henry Flanagan, at Corey. or
that day week.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1895-12-21
CAVAN

An action by the Rev. II. M. Henry,
Presbyterian minister, Cootehill, against
the Great Northern Railway Company,
for damages for injuries sustained While
travelling on the railway, terminated, on
November 81, in an amicable settlement,
the plaintiff receiving $500 for damages,
with f1OO for legal costs, and t15 Tor
other expenses.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1895-12-21
CARLOW.

: On Monday, November Is, DR.. ]. }.
Nolan, coroner for Carlow, held an IN
quest at Bagnalstown on the remains OF
James Brennan, who had died in the nos
p,tal ON the previous Saturday from I'LL
iuries alleged to have been inflicted on
him early in the week by man named
James Pearce, against whom a verdict OF
1nanslaughter was found by the jury.
Pearce decamped after the occurrence,
and eluded the efforts OF the Constabu-
larry to capture him up to Sunday, when
he surrendered att Coolcullen police par
racks, and was committed to answer the
charge. rs-.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1895-12-21
MONAGHAN

Very Rev. Dean Birmingham, P. r, Is
reported as lying dangerously Ill, in Car
rickmacross, IN which the parish the Very
Rev. gentleman has lived for a number
Of years. Dean Birmingham is u years
The Atlanta constitution. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1885-19??, 1895-10-14

of the Adamses and of all the great reVo.
Iutionary heroes, and last at the luherdl Vi
John Marshall.
cbon~in., his line Just a bit. he said
uyybo+ would our American constitution
bove been without John Marshal. the
treat iurist. to interpret it? what wo 'A'i
our country have been without JcHeiSon
ana Hamilton to frame our constilu..oi Il.
Webster to expound it. John MaIs'. s,,i ~
interUret H. and-thank God, / can say ~
~ Groreia without Lincoln to save IL; /
am delighted to know that We naSG ne ~
with us today the great-sranddtushtel %
.~f;nf t,te.so~ = r-r NarS'"f
The Crowd Cheer and Cheer.
lie took the hand OF the beautiful young
The Atlanta constitution. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1885-19??, 1895-10-14

offered prayer. Men have wept 0VeI ~
children have kissed it. From Fhlla"el-
phia we marched into Richmohd anu ~
t'rad Tho tow, Then we continued the
march through Georgia. and here we are
not with fire and steel, but with love as
brothers standing upon q common grouhu'
(Applause.) ... a., moo
THE past, with its bitterness us Voc
with its tears with its blood mas gone
forc,.ar and the common people. with
common destiny, welcome the future Win
slaGHess Applausc.) ,,,,
Every inch of your ground y haii' ~,
ground II must be in association 10 you
Oh what heroism you displayed when
YOU fought for it and defended IT, men
The Atlanta constitution. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1885-19??, 1895-10-14
,,,crnrNr OF THE DAY.
7 would not

the south, in old Georgia. Wou!u M, nGs
have missed what I have seen III ~
southland since we left Philadeipnl" W. -.
This relic of our fathers. POOR as az, =,
r,or,dIv goods. l would not have MISSED
49, : have seen for thousands and taou-
sands of dollars. (Applause) MN.
.'This old relic, on It's march from III ..'.,
soInbia has been welcomed at every sup
of it's progress. Children win Win" '..ll',,''
hands. turned out from school, have SNOW HH,
cred and bombarded II with roses. -
49, 80 como M ard have wept upon
a.. ard in one place, not far from where
ne stand at this time. an old man WIN =.
but few years left in the calendar Of u,ns
life. looking upon the platform where was was
standing this old bell, went down anu