The Penn's Grove record., 1895-08-09

"The Corners, then, Is full Of finan-
seers," he remarkt bitterly, castin o
casual glance at his slate witch wuz jist
full enuff to turn over and begin on the
t'other side.
But he hezn't any nv the science nv
1t. Iwuz argooin with him the other
day in favor nv my noshun nv q leather
currency, though ! told him silver wuz
much the same thing, and, for example,
! would assoom that silver wuz to be
the currency nv the fucher.
"Now, don't you see, Bascom, that eff
I he'd twict ez much money, 1 Good
drink twict ez much whisky and pay
for it?"
"How much is twice nothin?" wuz
the u%nfeelin anser nv the tyrant who
holds the destinies nv the Corners in his
hands. "That's wat your capitle hez bin
ever sence l knowd you"
"Parson," sed he, II don't see wat
earthly difference It's goin to make
whether silver is currency or anything
else. How are you a-goin to git silver eft
it Is made legal tender? Eff silver wuz
ez plenty ez bricks, wat hev you got to
git any nv it WITH"
"Troo, G. W." wuz my anser,
"but can't 700 see that to hev silver
wood relieve the dettor class? Even
now, afore it is legal tender, it's only
with 90 cents on the dollar, and when
the country is flooded with it it will go
still lower. Then we, or rather SIGH nv
us ez hev property to raise money on,
kin pay off,"
"Eggsactly So" retorts Bascom ;
''you kin pay me for the good, honist
hkker nv mine witch <you hev con-
soomed in coin witch Is less than the
dollar you promised. All rite. But look
here-come in here all NV you. I want
you silver men to know exactly wat you
are rushin into"
And this feend led us into the back
room-that back room witch contanes
the subsistence nv the Corners, There,
in long rows, wuz Bascom's stock.
There, in barrils, piled one on top nv
another, wuz the delishus whisky nv
Louisville, nv different ages, rangin
from that Nv two weeks old to that
witch he'd jist left the still and wuz
scarcely cold yit. There it lay, and ez
my eye ranged affeckshunately over 1t
felt ef I Good hev the drinkin nv all
that hkker I wood be content to lay
down and die when the last drop wua
gone.
Bascom p'inted to an immense tank
witch he he'd erected within q few days,
with q pipe runnin in from the roof.
~ shan't raise the price nv ikker In
conscience NV bein paid for it in a de-
preshiatid currency" sed he.
fell on Bascom's neck in an extacy
nv delite, while the others SHOUTED,
"Rah for Bascom"
90. w." I remarkt, while teers suf'
tossed my eyes, 81 never placed you
much below the angels, but this gener.
Gus act has histid you a hundred pei
cent in my estimashun. Bless You, G..
W, bless you'll"
"But I'll tell you wat I shell do. Ok
you see that tank?' sed he.
INLAY ! ask wat that Is for?" I sed.
"That tank will fill with faneSvater, .
sed he. -''The moment you git to payir
me In silver I shell'take out Nv eech dy
them barrils jist eggsactly three ono
one-1fth gollons nv likker and fill Il
with water"
"Merciful hevingsi' we all exclaimed
land your hkker so weak nowl"
"And when silver gifts down to 7!
cents on the dollar I she'll take out a
per cent nv whisky and fill her up witt
rs per cent Nv water, and so on down
Eff silver goes up, I sheA add whisk,
eggsactly in proporshen. In short, IN,
whisky is jist a-goin to foller currenci
and nothin shorter. You fellers w'icf
work for wagis may SWEET, but won't
"But you'll increase the size nv you
glasses?'' sed I.
"Not any. But you may drink twic,
ez many times to git the same amour
nv drunk ez before by payin for eecl
drink"
And Bascom stalked hawtily back ant
took his posishen behind his bar.
Their wuz oo~nsternashun in the Cor
ners SIGH ez I hev never seen. Their WI,
o hurried cousultashen at the Deekin'
house, and 1 sejested that we enamel
pate ourselves from the dominyun d,
This tyrant by startin a grosery nv GU
own on the joint stock principle, w'ioi
wpz agreed TO, each man agreeip to con
tribbit SO to the oapitle stock, w'ici
wood be enuff to buy q bar'l or two 10
d beginnin
we wuz enthusiastic till we come t.
ballotin for the man to keep the place
when II wuz found insttd Nv my betI
chosen yoonanimusly, ez ! eggspe6ted |,
be, that every man he'd votid 4of Aisself
81 not q soul Nv 'em would rete5e, tA'
skeem wuz blocked rite there and Anelt
he'd to be abandoned, and we went baci
to Bascom's and submittid. That tyran
hez us.
Nv course we can't stand likker di
lootid in that manner. We are willil
enuff to diloot the currency with w'icl
we pay for 1ikker, but we want our lk
ker full strength. We coodent help it
but that mite we signed and sent to oul
representative a remonstrance agin the
silver bill. The Corners is now for
honest currency. Wood, o wood that w
he'd some nv It'll
PETROLEUM V. Massey,
Finanseer