The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-01-22

The Major on His "Tour"-.Re.A.
Baskerville" After Many Tribula.
tions'---His Prospects Only
Medium.
B.-"Helloi Mr.. Editor"
R.-"Hello! Major. Your voi,,
sounds very'week, coming. as it dos'
from 1.-The land of the sky"
BIT reckin' it does sound waoh
But I'm here at Asheful." left HON.
last Wednesday. Betsy didn't wan
me ter go on a tower, but I he'd ter ss
if the dymakrat party kin be resusts
ted or bust. I bought a valice an
Betsy put a couple ov clean shirts An
sum other tricks in it, awlso sum grb
ter eat on the way. She cried a gude
deal when I started an lowed I VII,
breakin' her heart by my carryinsu
I cum ter Raligh, stayed awl mite, an
left fer Asheful at 5 an As in thu
mornin'. Kurnel Johnsin tole mel
he'd better go ter the meatropilis Of The
west an see how the land il lawn
furst. When I bought my ticket at
Raleigh I tole the railroad agent nv
name an that I Wuz goin' on a tower
ter see if the dymakrat party could
be propped up, an asked him if be
couldn't make a little reduckshun in
the fare. He sed he couldn't. IawlU
asked him if he reckoned they'd be
emmy ov them coincidence men on the
trane ter rob me. He lowed be
thought most ov EN- were in Washing
ton, an that I would be safe. WhenI
got On the train I knowed it wuz the
thing ter do ter make myself solid
with aWl Ov EN-, When the KoH
ductor cum through a punChin' tickets
I he'd done bought two segars frum
the news pitcher, or whatever you
call 'em. l tole the konducter Who'll
Wuz an what I wuz up to, an wanted
him ter smoke with me. He sed be
had promised biz mother not ter
smoke, an that it wuz ergainst the
rules, ennyhow. 1 got acquaintA
with the news pitcher an tOle him
whut I wuz up ter. He sed he WU
fer me tooth an toe nails, an i'll
wanted ter be governor jtst ter say
so. He wuz so nice I bought two Or
three papers, two books, sun CheWln'
gum an tole him ter remember me.
sed he would. I aWlso bought q
little trick ter write my name on an
tie ter the handle ov my valice. The
train run like awl t%arnashun, an atOre
I knowed it we were at GreensDurroW'
1 changed cars an wuz soon scootin'
toward Salisberry. I introduced my
self ter the new konductor, awlso the
new news pitcher. The news pitcher
wanted me ter buy anothur stocko V
papers n'othur goods. Iasked
him If he wuz fer me fer Kongress or
He lowed he'd spill biz
asst drop of blood fer me fer emmy
0hce frum a revenue persitshun up
jer president. I went down into my
ergin an bought an armful OF
'hewin' gum, segars, books, dried figs
m things. I asked the konducteT Il
hey Wuz emmy procurement POLITICIANS
" my faith an order on the train, II
10 ter interduse me. He sed he wuzent
'rquaint.w with the passengers. By TINS
lime we were at Salisbury an changed
,ars ergin. I struck a new news boy
introduced myself. He looked az
ny stock ov stuff whut I he'd bought
rum the other boys an wanted ter
NOW whereI Wuz movin' my STOCK
I toIe him how it wuz. HesmIled
N lowed that SIGH liberal, paterotIcK
nen orter fill high p]ersistions an that
% wuz fer me till awl the buttons tel
IF hiz cote. I bought a walkin' cane
n sum little books with fotogratt5 Oh
he mountains. I scooted along lookin
t the beautiful an wonderful noun.
aims, an soon reached Asheful.
sked fer the best hotel an they tux
1e ter the FIattery Mark. 1 hung OUT
here fer half a day an hearin n o7
ne porters say that only rich men stop
lere, I konkluded ter investergate'
he clerk tole me he wouldn't pull me
r but S. per day. I paid up an got
1t quickerin' you could say scat. I've
n hgurin' Ground sum ermong the
shetul dymakrat poIertishuns, blt
INT met much encouragemint. III
Il you lots more erbout it after l stay
a few days. Gudebye.
has leaked out that the new Gov
1or or Delaware can neither read nor