The Wadsworth dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1892-1899, 1895-03-02
SPECIMENS OF Wit.
SOME HISTORIC FLASHES OF SpoN.
TANEoUS HUMoR.

NOV Few European SoveroignA Have
Been Fond OF and Given to Repartee.
Clever and Brutal Jests Passed Among
Englishmen of Long Ago.
Generally speaking, the strong have
refused to put up with jesting from the
weak. The Gar Nicholas, who had
some fine qualities. was hardened against
a meditated act Of clemency by the an
daunted spirit Of prisoner Relief. q
man OF letters. had been implicatetIin
the conspiracy of 1929 and sentenced TO
be hanged. He was launched from tlso
fatal ladder, when the rope broke and
he was thrown to the ground, severely
bruised, but conscious. He picked him.
self up and said quietly, "They can do
nothing in Russia, not even twiue n cord
properly. 1t was customary in Russia
to pardon the condemned after u similar
fiasco, but ON Relieff's words being re-
ported to the czar and his pleasure de-
manded he replied. Prove him the con-
trary
Henry VIII, with all his violence and
tyranny. could bear with a retort as well
as give one. for lie loved wit. When. it
was told him that the pope had sent the
cardinals hat to Fisher, bishop Of Roch-
ester, he said, He may have the hat,
but he shall have no head to wear II
with, and the bishop was brought to
the block. On one occasion the turbd-
lent Earl of Kildare was brought before
the king, charged with setting fire to
the cathedral of Cashel. II own it, .
said the earl, but never would have
done it had not believed the archbish-,
op was in it.. +" Henry laughed and par
doned tho oulprit. His bitterest enemy
was the bishop Of Meath, who accused
him to Henry Of divers misdeeds and
closed his arraignment with, .'"Thns, my
liege you see that all Ireland cannot
govern the earl.
Then, said the perverse monarch,
''the earl shall rule all Ireland" and
instantly made him lord deputy because
his good humor equaled his valor
Elizabeth resembled her father in her
willingness to put up with retorts from
saucy subjects and to pay them back in
kind. not Always with the greatest re-
finement The little scene with the i'll
fated Earl of Essex, when she boxed his
ears for insolence and he laid his hand
on his sword, saying that he would not
take such treatment even from her IA
ther. is familiar to every one
Going back to still earlier dates, we
constantly find the imperious Plantag-
enet kings giving and receiving retorts
that bear witness of great Independence
among some Of their powerful SUBJECTS.
1t was Edward who. on the refusal of
the BLACK Dog of Warwick" to Join
the king with vassals and supplies for
war. said. ''Sir Earl, you shall either go
or hang The retort was. ''Sir Rex. !
will neither go nor hang.
Henry Nv of France was good natured
above most monarchs in repartee As q
rule, it is impossible to reproduce in con-
yentional English dress the jests Of this
wise and witty king On one occasion
it was tho turn of NJ d'Aubigne to sleep
in the kings antechamber Fancying
the monarch was asleep, he began to talk
to M. de In Force, who shared bis watch,
saying, "Your master is the most un-
grateful Of men. La Force. half asleep,
asked him what he was talking about,
when Henry cried out: wake upl He
is telling You am the most ungrateful
of men,"
Pray go to sleep. sire" interrupted
D'Aubigne I'VE have great deal more
to say about you" Henry never showed
less kindliness to his servant ON account
of what he had overheard
But the cynical generosity Of Frsder-
ick the Great is unique A lackey who
owed him q grudge had determined to
poison him. One morning he brought in
the kings chocolate and appeared visi-
bly, troubled in countenance. "What ails
your" said Frederick. looking fixedly at
him. lyon look as If you had put poi
son in my food The wretch fell at his
feet and avowed his crime. "Get out Of
my sight, you scoundrel" said Freder-
ick and took no further notice of the
mans attempt to murder him.
A delicate compliment is work Of
far higher art than the most biting sar-
casm. Every one knows the story of the
poor creature who found himself seated
between Mime. Recamier and Mme. de
Stael. and managed to offend them both
by saying that he sat between wit and
beauty, and was crushed by the retort |
Of Mime. de Stael that he possessed nei-
ther The court Of Louis XIV was the
school where this art was brought to
perfection The fiattery offered to the
king by the men of genius was at once
coarse and exquisite Witness the inim-