The morning times., 1895-10-06

| Intellectual but frequently the laugh Is
| on the other side when the danger element
becomes strongly mingled with the hu
| morous.
There is something in almost every Amer
| lean, even If he is so lost to honor as 10
refuse to pay his debts, that makes him
resent the intrusion of any public official
| upon what he regards as strictly his
private affairs.
TROUBLE FOR THE CONSTABLE
He thinks that his creditor has done him
| q grave injustice in suing for debt, ana
| looks upon the constable as d vent Tor his
spleen When he knows that a Judgment
| has been obtained against him he resolves
| to make the collection of 1T Us difficult
as possible and frequently he is rash enough
to promise himself that it will never be
| paid at all That's where the constable's
trouble comes in.
or course, that doesn't apply to all
people who have been sued and lost, ana
sometimes it is unnecessary for the con-
stable TO arm himself even with writ
of execution when he goes TO collect a
Judgment. Such are rare instances, how
ever and an event of that nature is regarded
as an oasis in q desert of tribulations.
The chief wall Of the constable is that he
has no protection. Under the law he is
not allowed 10 carry any weapons; If he
uses force he is liable to lie arrest cd q nd fined
for assault. and in n civil case no policeman
has u right 10 interfere. unless the civil
officer assaults or is assaulted by the debtor.
MUST TAKE KICKS AND CUFFS.
So he must take with smiling face the
kicks and cuffs Dame Fortune bestows upon
him in this roundabout way, getting what
he can, and leaving what he can't get,
pretty sure. unless very tough and robust,
i.at no will nd rpfupa in "a carly
from the trials incident TO haTassing de-
linquent debtors.
Constable William Swinburn is one of the
few who are blessed with a constitution
that could withstand the ravages of time,
bull. dogs, guns, bricks and clubs, and he has
many Interesting "reminiscences of the days
when a civil officer would have to he
backed up by a squad OF deputies before
he would dare serve a writ in some Sec
tons Of the town. II is difficult work even
now. but in the olden times when the city
was thinly settled and nothing but an aux
Hilary guard preserved the peace, the dan
ger element predominated.
One of Mr.. Swinburn's first cases was cal
culated to inspire him with an aversion to
the business. but II didn't. A resident of
the county had been sued for a small amount
and Judgment rendered. Armed with
writ. Mr.. Swinburn got in his buggy and
drove to the house of the debtor, whom he
found at home. The constable got in the
house before announcing his mission, and
as soon as he had done that looked around
for something movable upon which to
levy. The only thing besides a lot Of cum
bersome furniture in sight was hand
some shotgun standing in corner.
JUDGMENT STILL UNCoLLECTED.
This the constable took Immediate pos
session of and started toward the door, not
expecting any trouble. He was too san
cuine. The owner of the gun, a big, strap
ping countryman, made a dive for him, and
after a brief struggle recaptured the
weapon. With loaded shotgun in his OPP
ponents hands. the constable stood not upon
the order of going, but went very rapidly.
The weapon was discharged twice while
he was ma king his escape, but he did not
look back to ascertain whether 1t was
pointed in his direction or not. He Kept
on until the city was reached, aud hasn't
collected that judgment yet.
Sometime ago a constable endeavored to
collect n Judgment against the proprietor
of a saloon on Twenty-fifth street II
there is any one who has sympathy and
helpers on an occasion of that sort 1t Is q
saloonkeeper. and this one had lots OF both.
When the officer reached the saloon he
decided that the only available object upon
which he could levy was a barrel of whisky,
according to the form of law.
But the proprietor of the saloon had an
fdea that he needed that whisky In his
business, and strongly backed up by the
bartender, his wife, and two or three
loungers he entered vigorous objection
to the proceedings. Finally the officer
deputized half dozen outsiders to assist
him. and they sailed in to take the whisky
by force.
KNOCKED THE BUNG OUT.
After a pretty hard fight the barrel was
got on to the wagon, and Just as the ap-
parentlv victorious constable and deputies
were about to lift 1t in, the desperate sa-
loonkeeper knocked the bung out. The
cherished fluid came gushing forth, and
by the time new bung was found an empty
barrel was all that repaid the officials
for their trouble. They came sadly away,
and the salopnkeeper and his trusty friends
went back and drank in triumph. He had
lost his barrel of whisky, but the debt
wasn't paid.
One of the many disagreeable tast>
that fall to the constable's lot is the levy
ing on teams in the streets, while their
owners are in them. This is frequently nee
essary, however, and is a source of much
trouble and annoyance to the officer. On
one occasio a constable wanted to summon
to trial a man whose own reputation
was somewhat doubtful. After looking
for him in vain for several da VS. he saw him
drive past in buggy and rushed out after
him. The man saw him coming, waving
a paper in his hand, and proba bly, thinking
1t was writ for his own goods, grabbed his
whip, and as the constable came within
reach gave him a singing lash down the
back and drove on.
He was arrested and charged with as
sault but on a jury trial 1t was decided
that the officer had no right TO hold a manup
on the streets under such circumstances.
and he was released. The constable was
finally able to revenge himself, how
ever for not long afterward he had to serve
a writ on the same man. He waited until he
again saw him driving in his team, and,
seizing an opportunity levied upon the |
horse and m ade his late assailant pull his |
wagon home himself.
WIT OF THE TAILOR.
One very hot day in summer, a couple Of |
years ago, a certain tailor on street was |
visited by couple of constables with |
Judgment and execution. They entered the |
shop, and explaining their errand, pro- |
ceeded to levy on everything in sight. The |
little tailor was at bis wits end and, as |
be saw his goods being pulled this way |
and that as their value was roughly estt- |
mated, an idea struck him.
The only entrance to the shop was by the |
front door, which he was in the habit Of |
locking with a paddock on the outside. |
Leaving the men at their work he stepped |
,oftly outside, and suddenly closing the |
ioor, bad snapped the paddock before those |
inside were aware that the door was shut. |
BE spent the rest of that hot afternoon |
bunting up his creditor and fixing things |
With him, leaving the constables in the shop !