Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-05-23
Sprink1es of Spice.

In order to reduce his weight
He purchased him wheel;
Before he'd ridden it a week
He fell eff a good deal.
Kansas City Journal.
The plumber now steps down to make
room for the miIliner,-Philadelph
Record.
Miss Oldun-''I'd like to see any man
alive kiss mel" Mr. SharD-"I GueGs
you would. Statesman.
Robbins Higbee is a genius Brad
ford-"Can do anything, l suppose"
Robbins-"Yes, anything but make a
living
Beggar-' Ach, my dear sir, I have
lost my leg" Gentleman-''Very sorry.
l haven't seen it anywhere about
Wiener Luft.
Some women are so ill-mannered as
to go right into a store and try to inter-
rupt a conversa ton between the clerks.
Cleveland Plain-Dealer.
''How is it that you are still bache-
lor?" inquired Gags. Il don't know"
said Taggs, unless it's because never
married philadelphia Inquirer
Nervous employer-"I don't pay you
for whistling." Office boy-"Thats all
right, sir | can't whistle we'll enough
yet to charge extra for it. Truth.
She-"No. Mr.. Blunnderre, l cannot
entertain your proposal. The truth is
l am engaged to marry your father"
He-"Why, the old idiot!'- Indianapo-
lis Journal.
What do you think of the financial
question, major?" Its ahead of me,
sir The fellow who borrowed my last
dollar left town last night ''-Atlant
Constitution.
He (resuming his seat after a brief
visit outSide)-"What an atmosphere
of realism there is about this play"
She-''Yes. Smells like cloves. Chi
cago Tribune.
Mother-"You are at the foot of the
spelling class again, are you?' Boy
''Yes'm" Mother-"How did that hap
pen?'' Boy-"Got too many rs in
scissors. lid Bits
"Why, she actually cut Mr.. Storfing-
ton, and Storflington, you know, is one
of the better sort" Yes; choice cuts
come high now, but we must have EN-"
Boston Transcript.
Jack Borrowit-'I woke last night
and found a burglar in my room"
George Genrus-''Well! Well! Did you
succeed in borrowing anything from
him ?"-New York Weekly.
That's about as crooked q piece Of
work as l ever saw" unused Uncle
Allen Sporks, looking at the track the
lightning had made ON the body Of the
big tree.-Chicago Tribune.
(Which is my part in this duet?''
asked the prilna donna of her husband,
who was tenor. "Your part? Here it
is, of course. The one with the last
word in it"-London Punch.
Hoax-"Have you seen D'Aubers
new painting? He calls it Friend
less JoaX-"Yes; it's remarkably
realistic. l understand baseball UNI
pire posed for him. ''-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
Have you heard that the big sleeves
are going out, George, dear?" Eyes, my
love. l have but 1 don't believe it."
"Why not, pray?" II don't believe they
can get through the door.''-Harper's
Bazaar.
Mr.. Dunn UNPAID bill in his hand)-
When shall l call again, Mr.. Owens?
Mr. Owens-Well, it would hardly be
proper for you to call again until I
have returned the present call.-Har-
per'S Bazaar.
Doesn't Mrs. Noowoman strike you
rs person of remarkably decided opin-
ions?" Nav. She can't make up her
mind, apparently, whether she wants
to be gentleman or lady."-Indian-
apolis Journal.
He-"Wasn't Browns wife named
Stone before she was married.! She
Eyes, and it was very suitable name"
He-''What do you mean?" She-"Oh,
nothing! Only she threw herself at
his head.''-Life.
Fozzleton-Every time you measure
me for pair of trousers you measure
me a little short Tailor-That isn't
my fault. Fozzleton-Why not? Tail
or-Because you always come in that
way-Brooklyn Eagle.
81 want to see big, roomy fiat" ex-
claimed the pompous man, as he strobe
into the real estate agents Office, land
I'm in a hurry, too you'll find q
mirror in the washroom," replied the
clerk, politely.-Chicago Post
A little girl was overheard talking to
her doll, whose arm had come off, expos
ing the sawdust stufling. You dear,
good, obedient dolly. / knew I had
told you to chew your food fine, but I
didn't think you would chew it SO fine