The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-12-10
THE LTMEKILN CLUB.
BROTHER GARDNER NAMES SOME
! THINGS THAT DON'T LOOK RIGHT.


zactly right to me-, said Brother Gard
ner as he rubbed his bald head with
one hand and opened the meeting with
the other
at doan' look zactly right to see one
man with $40, 600, 900 an anoder with
only 10 cents [applause by Samuel
Shin], but yit if 1 was de $40, 900, 900
man I wouldn't keer wheder it looked
right or not. Sudden end to the ap-
plause.
cit doan' look zactly right fur one
man to own great foundry, while an
oder man am obleeged to work fur him
fur So a day Hear, hear, from Judge
Cadaver], but if wus de So day man
I wouldn't frow myself out of job to
spite de owner or to please a dema-
gogue. 1.-THE judge subsidies.
cit doan' look zactly right to see one
man hold offs all de time, while anoder
man has to shove jackplane fur lib
in [great rustic in Pickle Smiths cor
nerl, but he who shoves de jackplane
has de respeck of de community an
keeps outer Jail. Rustic dies away.l
cit doan' look zactly right to see
fo'ty lawyers rush to defend criminal
who has stolen money in his pockets,
while an offender who am moneyless
am left to dig his way frew ten foot
wall wild an ole knife blade [grins on
dozen facesl, but if I was lawyer I
should arm my money any oder way ex-
cept by sawin wood. De public doan'
look fur any partickler display of con-
science on de part of lawyers, an d&r-
fore suffer no disapp 'intments. [Grins
no longer observable.
sit doan look zactly right fur one
man to have big brick house an anoder
man rough bod shanty, but long bout
tax time de man in de shanty kin sit on
de fence an chuckle over de fack dat he
hain't rich.
cit doan' look 'zactly right to see
one man go pushin an swellin an crowd
in everybody else off de sidewalk to let
de public know dat he am king bee,
but such men have to carry de anxiety
of bein in debt to de tailor an of dodg-
in de grocer, an Of subscribin $40 to
build church widout hope of bein
able to pay 10 cents on de dollar.
Gin fack, my friends, dar am heaps
an heaps O. things dat doan' look zactly
right to us at fust glance, but when yo'
come to fgger it up an divide an sub
tract we've all got heap to be thank
full fur an to encourage US to git up air.
~ in de marvin. A man kin brace his
legs an lay back like a mule an kick
away at de hull world an hate every
body an be hated in return, or he kin
pick up sartin crumbs of cpnsolashun,
crowd inter seat indie back eand of de
wagon, an take a heap of comfort,
KNOWN dat somebody is wuss off dan
hisself. Let Us accumulate to biznesS. 3"
Election.
Sir Isaac Walpole shifted the peach
stone which be held in his mouth for
earache over to the other side and went
his rounds with the beanbox, and the
secretary found a clear horizon for the
following candidates: Fractional Smith,
Hesitation Baxter, Lord Thomas White,
Buckingham Juneberry, Elder Wait
ham and Sixday Foster.
Tor Cause.
The following candidates were reject
ed for the causes named:
Smart Old Smith of Union Springs,
Ala, for walking Is miles to see dog
fight. This club never goes over a mile
and a half to enjoy such a spectacle,
and then always rides in hack.
Comprehensive Baker of Lynchburg,
Va, for having charged 40 per cent in
terest on money loaned to poor wom-
an This club doesn't object to 1 3 per
cent on money borrowed to go to cir
Gus, but the man who grasps beyond
that must and shall be rebuked.
a Moral lesson.
Nir,7c+oo y,11l,ocI- borp arOco and NOV
ed that $25 be appropriated for the pur-
chase of a looking glass for Paradise hall
No one supported the motion, and after
moment Of deep silence the president
remarked:
'fBrudder Pullback, dat moshun am
not only mile an a half outer order,
but it betrays malicious sentiment
dat mus be sot down on at all hazards
When dis Limekiln club becomes sc
purity an so filed up wild vanity dat de
bizness of de United States of America
mus be neglected to stan befo' loOkin
glass an smile at ourselves, it will be
time to disband. I shall fine yo' 1900
and costs ~
Trustee fell back with suddenness
that Jared the whole building, and
during the rest of the session he was
busy figuring how much cash he would
have left to squander on Christmas pres
ents.
| They Are.
A communication from Louisville in
quired if Professor Lyon & Co. of thai
city, who advertise to do calcimining IL
eight different shades, were members o.
the Limekiln club.
ST kin testimony dat dey airs re
piled the president in answer. "Pro
fessor Lyon am not only one of de bes
men to stretch carpet seben inches da
I cher saw, but he has invented six diff
ferent ways of mixin whitewash to imi
tate de lie colors Of de ole masters.
doan' believe dat Shakespeare, Nero o.
Capting Kidd could hold candle tt
him hangin paper or touchin up cen
terpiece. -