The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1895-08-29

lator read NM TO mean militia (thOusan6s) in
stead of Btarytres martyrs, and hence the
error
] am glad to accept this explanation. The
Huns of 200 years age were a very tough lot,
rs many of them vino come TO this country to-
day are hut / never wanted to believe them
capable of killing 1900 Young women ut one
time. 1t was bad enough. in all conscience,
girls
New York Sun He Cat ia m. THE people.
my dear, mustn't rnlo themselves ash to tenn
perauce aud in every respect.
She vigorously We'll, / want you to under
stand from this time forward That | am the
people in this house.
e%4
The Commissioners Of the Distric. of Columbia
have made a rule that unless hotel or restau-
rant in Washington puts up fre-escape it will
not receive license to sell liquor. There's
testimony for you as to the iuhammatory
character of Washington whisky.
-
Gov. Mckinley says that ex-Gov. Campbell
is a very nice man. but he cannot be elected
Governor of Ohio this year.
-
Mexican papers say they don't want Cuba;
would prefer that the island belong to tho
United States. This is unexpected, but thanks,
all the same.
This is the way Candidate Hardin ladies ont
tatfy for what Mrs. Darlington called the " fair
sect: 90 thank the ladies for having graced
this occasion with their presence, but / wish
! had fitting tribute to lay at your feet.
Since the breath of Eve, sweeter than the
blossoms, first breashed light and love and
happiness into the garden, you have touched,
moved and inspired the hearts of men. The
genius of PericIes and the wisdom of Socrates
bowed before the shrine of ASpasla's wit and
beauty. The loneliness of Cleopatra eclipsed
she glory of empire in the eyes of Marc An
tony, and Zenobia, Pslmyra's Queen, swayed
the hearts of an Eastern people" Just US he
reached this point someone cruelty demanded
his views on tire silver question.
@#s
What with sending her citizens to Sing Sing
for stufIins ballot boxes falling them for keep
ing saloons open on Sunday and running shem
out of the State for putting up buildings that
fall down aud kill people, New York will soon
have to annex all the surrounding towns in
urtier to keep her census even with that of
Chicago.
China and Japan buy our Tried apples freely.
The Boston Transcript remarks: THUS does
American industry help to wellthe population
of the Orient"
Germantown, Pa, has q father and hocber
who named the girl twins who came to bless
their home Kate aud Duplicate. Recently boy
twins have appeared and been named Pete and
Repeat.
Death lays so many queer traps for us that
fate and predestination at times seem reason
able beliefs. Last week a man employed in
wooden mill at Newburg N. Y. slipped and fell
against belt, which cut his throat instantly.
Col. Watterson borrows Disraeli's famous
epgram on Gladstone, and describes his fellow
Democrats as drunk on the exuberance of
their own rhetoric" Disrael really said that
Gladstone was intoxicated with the exuber-
ance of his own verbosity." i am not sure that
Watterson's phrase is an improvement.
ANOTHER WRECKED ILLUSION.
A cold-hearted, unimaginative reporter has
been making study of the outlaws brides"
of the Far West, aud instead Of finding them
the wonders OF beauty and grace coupled with
fiend-like courage that dime novels describe,
he discovers them to be painfully homely old
plugs, all past the middle age, who dress like
rights and have az little use for combs,
brushes, soap and water as the outlaws they
associate with There are three of them now
in Jail in Oklahoma. and the man who could
find any feminine attraGtiveness in them would
he likeiy to think a dry burdock as lovely as a
June rose.
Ex-Gov Foraker has happy talent for say
ing bright things. Someone recently asked
him about some of his personal troubles. He
answered: "My dear fellow, when God created
this world he made no place in it anywhere for
man with grievance"
The Democratic members of the Illinois
Legislature spare no pains in finding out just
what Gov. Altgeld wants, so as to be sure and
not give it to him.
80
Reuben p Kolb. OF Alabama, who made
fortune by developing watermelon with a
skin tough enough to stand handling by
freightmen in hurry, and with an inside
which would not addle from week of riding
in the cars, thought this Genius should BIO re-
warded by election as Governor of his State.
The political ring which controls the offices in
Alabama thought that inventiug q new water
melon which put hundreds of thousands of
dollars into the pockets of the farmers was not
TO be ompared to an invention which makes
three white votes count for more than 81 negro
votes. so he WINS turned down. He made two
hercu lean efforts to overturn the ring but they
had the count on him, and he failed. Now he
publicly announces that lie has abandoned the
Democratic party forever, aud gone over bag
and baggage to the Populist camp. Meanwhile
he has not neglected his watermelon patch, but
has raised more and bigger and better ones
than ever.
Truth. Wife-What do you think of Bridgets
cooking?