davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1895-02-21
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

-Robby-''How did the Sphinx get
the credit of being so wise, papa?"
Papa-"By keeping his mouth shut for
1900 years. "-Demorest's.
Avenue Amenities. De STYLE
II like this dress, but it doesn't match
my complexion" Mrs. Van Snappy-
20, that's but trifle; you can alter your
complexion to suit. "-Harper's Drawer
Winter Time in Georgia Lovely
weather, this; warm sunshine and blue
violets!" Yes; if you're not going to
use your snow shovel tomorrow, I'd
like to borrow it!'-Atlanta Constitu-
ton.
What is the matter with Freddy
Bowls?" Teddy-"He says he's got the
toothache, but l don't believe him. "
''Why don't you?" Teddy" Cause he's
standin' right in front of dentists
office"
II really heard" said the major,
''of a man who sold his vote for gal
Ion of whisky" ''Shockingr' Eyes. If
the suffrage of free-born American
citizen is not worth a barrel, smash nv
DCdNcI' huldHld
-Maude- Marriage they say is a
lottery" Ethel-''That's what Carrie
thought, l guess, when she came to
look over her wedding presents. Posi-
lively the entire collection wasn't
worth $50!"-Poston Transcript.
What did Senator Sorghum say
when you asked kim, for an interview"
asked the managing editor. Moth
ing, !" replied the reporter. well, make
column of it. It's just about what the
public expects from him. Washington
Star.
Customer (timidly) = "I--er-sup-
pose you have some-er-suitable
books for man about to-er-be mar
ried?" Head Clerk promptly
sir; here, Skiggles, show this gentle
man our line of goods of largest-sized
pocketboolls. Buffalo Courier.
"A small boy surprised his teacher
at one of the grammar schools by ask
ing her how far a procession of the
presidents of the United States would
reach if they were placed in a row. On
her expressing her ignorance, he calm
~ announced, FROM w dSnlugJOn TO
Cleveland"
Young man." said the elderly
philanthropist, 81 am afraid you are
falling into bad habits. You should
realize that there is no money to be
made by sitting still and smoking your
pipe?" mo money to be made by sit
tin still and slnokin' my pipe?" Those
i.
but you're wrong. I'm a plumber, -
Washington Star.
Tom Raikes, diseur and dandy, but
whose face no amount of dandyism
could beautify, once sent DOrsay a
copy of offensive verses anonymously,
which, being shown about, caused
great laughter at the beau's expense.
To maintain its assumed character, the
letter had been sealed with wafer
and thimble. D'Orsay knew who was
the writer. The next time he saw
Rail1es at the club, he called out: THE
next time, mon cher, you write an
anonymous letter, don't seal it with
your nose"
Pa" asked Johnnie Wilkin,
what is pathologist?" He's man
who lays out paths in the parks and
elsewhere, my boy. Now don't bother
papa any more. He's busy" well, l
only want to know one more thing
papa" said Johnnie. well, what is
it?'' whats a 'mancipated woman?'
"Why don't you reason it out your
self?" asked the father what does
man spell?" Man" said Johnnie
well, then, a man-cipated woman is a
woman that thinks she's man. Now
run away."-Harper's Bazaar.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1895-02-21

temper, fear of impending calamity and q
thousand and one arrangements of body
and mind result from such pernicious prac-
tees. All these are permanently cured by
improved methods of treatment without the
patient leaving home.
A medical treatise written in plain but
chaste language, treating of the nature,
symptoms and durability OF such diseases,
sent securely sealed in plain envelope, on
receipt ofthis notice, with Iocents i'll stamps,
for postage. Address. WoRLD's DIsPEN
SARY MEDICAL ASSOCIATION, Buffalo. N. Y
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1895-02-21
Rev. DR.. Parker

Is the beloved pastor of the Universalist
church at Fargo, y. D., and has also been
pastor in Providence, R. l., New York City
and Troy, N. Y. He says:
81 regard Hoods Sarsaparilla the best
blood purifier and have good reason for
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1895-02-21

Professor Cutter has written much
hat is of everlasting value to science"
How do you know?"
Because l read his last book and
can't understand word of it,
Brooklyn Life.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1895-02-21
YOUNG SPIRITS.

n vigorous body 2nd
robust strength fol-
low good health.
But all fail when the
vital powers are
weakened, Nervous
debility and loss of
manly power result
from bad habits, con-
tracted by the young
through ignorance
of their ruinous con-
sequences. Low
spirits, melancholia,
impaired memory,
morose or irritable
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1895-02-21

this opinion. l
am now 80 years
of age. Four years
ago l was afflicted
with rheumatism
in my back and
limbs, so b adly
that it was impos-
sible for me to get
my usual sleep at
night. l had just
partially recovered
from the grip,
which reduced my
weight 40 lbs. My
appetite was poor
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1895-02-21

ToMMY-"Paw, what is an intellectual
soireefn Mr.. Fight is generally one
where the refreshments do not cost much
more than dime head. Indianapolis
Journal
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1895-02-21

SUCCESSFUL PERvERsITY.-O'Kie How
10 you manage to win so steadily on the
'aces!" McEll-''I read all the tips given
~ the sporting editors, and then bet on some
,ther horsen
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1895-02-21

UNITED THEY STAND. Mrs Jones-"How
does your husband get along with your
is the slightest sign of trouble get them TO
talk about the baby. brooklyn Life.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1895-02-21

SOME people never learn to keep out Of
debt until after they lose their credit.-Gal
weston News.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1895-02-21

Fargo N D. and l felt languld
and weak In fact was in very dilapi-
dated condition. Having heard and read so
much about the wonderful cures produced
by Hoods Sarsaparilla l resolved to give it
trial followed the directions, and be-
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1895-02-21

Mrs UPToN FLATTE -''My nursemaid lef
me without moments notice. I'm goins
TO advertise for girl to- morrow" Flossis
AND Please advertise for a boy, too
mamma Me want little bruzzer orful."
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1895-02-21

DIRECTIONS for using
CREAM BALM. - apply
a particle Of the Balm 1Uell
up into the nOstrilS. After a
moment drdW strong breath
through the nose. Use
three times a day, after
meals preferred, and before
fetirin1.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1895-02-21

THE trousers of your fashion able church
minister never bag at the knees.-Rocklanc
Tribune.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1895-12-10
A Battle with Mountain Lions.

He saw, above the ledge and Il little
beyond, the ears and hea / OF lion.
as it sat watching the deer. Jake rose
in his saddle to place bullet. as he
SAID, midway between those ears, when
powerful lion leaped from behind n
tree on the ledge of rock above, and
striking him in the chest, carried him
of his horse, heallon.y down the noun
tain, and his horse ran wildly away.
a moment later Jake was lying on his
back in the snow, his head ND hill.
and the beast standing over him with
one paw planted firmly on his chest.
the other slightly lifted, and waqpinr
its tail in delight, while its hot bre nth
was eXhaled into Jake'H face. His first
impulse was TO hold down his chin
tightly, to prevent his throat being
torn open, while he cautiously felt Tor
his knife. He found the knife and as
he drew it slight grating sound
caused the lion to rebound at his feet.
and as he did so, 1t uttered scream
which Jake knew only gave him the
chance Of momo Mt. 1T was call for
the other lion. Gearing TO make n
motion OF escape or resistance, he
moved his hand back in the snow, in
search of his rife, which had been
lost in the fall. His finger touched
the stock. He cautiously pulled it
down by his side, and still looking his
captor straight in the eyes slowly
turned the rifle till its muzzle faced
tho lion. The bullet passed through
its heart and it sank on Jake's feet
Before he could move from his help.
less position, the othor lion bounded
over the precipice, and somewhat over.
leaping ITS mark, lie in tine snow, and
instantly received bullet in it's brain
Tho two lions lay denl, not ten feet
apart. Outing
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1895-12-10
Empress Eugenie Lost Her Wager.

In Anna l.. Bricknelrs Century mr.
ticle on Life IN the Tuileries Under
the Second Empire" occurs this pas.
sage:
Nothing could be more magnificent
than the appearance of everything
hppertaining to the court on all pub
lie occasions. The balls, especially.
In the various splendid rooms, partic-
ularly In the immense "Salle DIES
Marechaux," were sight not TO be
forgotten, from the first entrance, and
ascent by the grea. staircase, adorned
with flowers and shrubs, where on each
step stood two of the Gent. gardes"
1.-THE Emperor's body guard MS mo-
uonless as statues. Nothing was more
remarkable than the drill which en-.
abled these men, on all occasions
when on duty at the palace, to remain
without moving u muscle. The fatigue
oil this immobilitv Is said to be so
great that it could not be endured be-
You'd certain time; but it was so
complete that to come suddenly on
one of these guards in the palace was
positively startling. 1t was scarcely
possible to believe that they we're
alive. They were all remarkably fine
men, sub officers chosen out of various
regiments; and when the war came
they proved that they were no. merely
parade soldiers, for they figured
among the best and brGvest troops.
One day the little Prince, when n
young child, in the hope of making
the sentinel move, poured a whole bag
of sweets into his boot, but without
ellclting any sign OF life from the mil
itary statue before him. This play of
the child being mentioned in the pres.
ence of Colonel Verify, who command
ed the regiment, he declared that
nothing could make one of his men
move when on duty. The Empress
would not believe this assertion. and
finally laid n wager that she would
contrIve to make one OF The guards
move. Colonel Very having accepted
the wager, the Empress went with him
into the neighboring gallery, where
they walked backward and forward
before the sentinel, the Empress trying
by every means to attract his attcn-
ton. The guard stood as il turned to
stone. Colonel Verify smiled. The
Empress, with her characteristic i'm.
petuosity, then went straight up to
the soldier, and, according to familiar
speech, "boxed his ears Not n mus
Gle moved. The Empress then acknowl-
edged that Colonel Verify had won the
day, and sent handsome compensa-
ton to the soldier, who proudly re.
fused it, saying he was sufficiently
compensated by having had his sover
eign lady's hand on his cheek
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1895-12-10
The Lon Ion Flower Market.

To speak in detail OF all the flower
IN Covent Garden market would be to
write an article like florists cata-
loSue. Everything is there that is in
season. When we saw it III the las,
days Of July, masses of sweet peas,
stocks and carnations, roses OF every
escription-choice ones tied in small
punches, commoner kinds, with long,
liberal stalks, and abundant leaves
and thorns, bound in big lunches,
such as one likes to bring in from the
strawberries of n generous country
garden lilies and gladiolas white,
red and orange, some in pots standing
tall and stately on the shelves above
the stalls, others laid in layers of cot
ton wool In obiong cases, and looking
as if prepared for their own obse.
quies, forests of palms and maiden
hair ferns, fringes OF white creeping
campanula, hazes of silVery gypso-
phylln, skylIke stretches of blue corn
flower struck us as among the most
vivid and distinctive features.
Between 6 and 7 o'clock we noticed
n good many Sisters of Charity buy
ing flowers for tue churches they tend,
and hospital nurses catering for their
wards. Between and o'clock bus
mess began to be very eager, and from
8 to 8 o'clock the work of disman
thing went on apace. 1t is then that
the poorer class of purchasers come.
the women in the familiar costume of
the street corner-the black or non
descript colored gown and tartan
shawl, and bonnet OF straw, Grape, or
lace, we'll crushed down and battered,
but brightenen up with brave bunch
OF the commonest and loudest artifi-
cial flowers n few pence can buy. This
is the time when bargains may be
made, and the poor woman who wants
to furnish her basket for sale, and the
managing lady with dinner party
coming on, who, Though on pleasure
she is bent, has yet frugal mind, 8"
are equally eager to buy cheap. At 9
o'clock the closing bell rings, and af-
ter few minutes grace, during which
the exodus goes on rapidly, the doors
are shut, and the great flower market
is over for the day. The Spectator.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1895-12-10
Novelty in Ennipagcs.

A novelty in park equipages, Just
little relief from the monotony o; vic.
torias aud dog carts, nothing very
startling this is not nm imaginative
age, as our critics, art. literary and
dramatic, are ALWAYS assuring rs
still some thing to break the dead level
of traps aud carts. The new thin2
made its debut in the park this sea
son, and has still the gloss of novelty
upon it. 1t is nothing more nor less
than coster's barrow, turned out by
n London coach builder very spick
and span, highly vanished and the
appurjenances OF the smartest, but
coster's barrow none the less. Twl
tall young swells-most precious they
look-are fitted into it, and furnish If
in the best style. A most uncomfort.
able perch they have; but then the
pleasures OF eccentrIcity have TO be
paid for. The barrow is not dragged
along by n donkey, but by dimiuu.
tive little cob of pony with barrel
of n body and greyhound legs. And,
50 freighted, it takes it's place in the
drive by the footpath under the trees
among the carria- e. with the ladies in
them. Westm1n r. Budget.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1895-12-10
Structure OF Water Planis.

We can not conceive of higher AMI
NAL without veins and lymph vessels.
But in water plants we not seldom
miss the long and broad duets OF
which the vascular system OF land
plants is constitute |. At all events
the vessels do no. perform 50 I'M
portant part in the vegetable king
dom as the circulation of the life
Juices in the animal kingdom. Their
principal service is to carry water
from the roots to the leaves. From
this we can understand how organs
essential 10 the life of land plants can
be dispensed with in water plants.
They do not need Il special conducting
OF water, because they are surrounded
by that element on every side. The
most marked instance OF the absence
of internal organs is met in an alga
which forms green fields in the deeper
parts of the Mediterranean Sea. Ii
has slender, branching, horizontally
creeping stems which develop above
in the water into leaves and below III
the sand into fine thread roots. But
the whole plant, often many feet in
length, consists only OF single gigantic
cells. A tough skin incloses its juices,
which flow in continuous stream
through the stem, leaves and roots of
the curious growth, here taking up
through the skin and assimllating
mineral substances, there producing
and Transforming organic matter, and
nj the same time advancing the growth
and increase of the whole. Popular
Science Monthly.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1895-12-10
Az AUrUMN lDYL.

brown maid crossed the hills one day,
And carelcSsly sang ~ she passed
"The summer has come and passed away.
The months were like weeks. tho weeks ~
day
Tho buds and the blossoms ar, Just and 10,
cav
What matter il low, only last:'
lad in the valley heard the sweet song.
Aud answered tho words OF the maid:
"No work could bc heavy n sorrows could
thronG.
No weeks could be wca, , n day couli b,
long.
And life would bo plcasan'. fc- naugh' collc
20 wrong,
with YOU for my sweetheart he siid.
A. the lad and the maiden iourncyrd that
day.
Just a. the sun went down.
They met, for their path bo'h lei The .lnc
way.
And he said To her "Tarry with me, pray.
And she answered. him softly With YOU q
will stay
And they nevcrmorc iourneynd alone.
Miller Purv.s. in Wonantinl.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1895-12-10
Facts About Shoes.

The Portuguese shoe has wooden
sole and heel, with vamp made oil
patent leather, fancifully showing the
flesh side of the skin. The Persian
footgear is a raised shoe aud is often
a foot high. 1t is made of light wood
richly inlaid, with strap extending
over the instep. The Muscovite shoe
is hand-woven on wooden frame.
and but little attention is paid TO the
shape of the foot Leather is some
times used, but the sandal is generally
made of silk cordage and wooden cloth.
The Siam shoe has the form OF an an
cient canoe, with gondola bow and
an open toe. The sole is made OF
wood, and the upper OF inlaid wool
and cloth, and the exterior is elabor-
ately ornamented in colors with gold
and silver. The sandal worn by the
Egytians is composed OF sole made
by sticking together three thickuesses
Of leather. This is held TO the foot by
passing band across the instep. Tho
sandal Is beautifully attached with
threads Of different colors. Detroit
FREQ Press.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1895-12-10
The Knont stu Smlslos

The -nine-tails still cuts its
blood way in Russia. The poor peas
ants are often whipped numerically
FOR paltry offenses. Lately the lepis.
lative body OF the Government Of
Tscheringof petitioned the Gar to
prohibit the use of the knout in the
punishment of offenders who have
gone through the full course at the
public school. The petitioners stated
that, in many instances, intelligent
peasants have preferred suicide to the
ignominy Of corporal punishment.
The petition was answered negatively.
New York World
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1895-12-10
The Earth,s shadow.

The length OF the shadow which tho
earth casts into space has attracted
some attention since the eclipse OF the
moon. This shadow is 10 the form Of
cone with the diameter OF the earth
as it's base. IL is S6i, 900 miles long.
That is If you Travelled into space,
away from the earth, more than three
times rs far as the moon, the shadow
would still shield you from the sun,
provided you remained on what may
be called the night side OF the earth.
The diameter of the sun is $50, 600
miles, that Of the earth is 1926 miles.
and the distance from the sun to tho
earth is 90, 900, 900 miles
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1895-12-10
Thrnllry Incident OF a Yacht Race.


= Hell-guarded secret that entirely
escaped the vigilance of the repo, ters
of the metropolitan press is told in
mysterious whispers by naval officers
who have recently returned from New
York. Ii concerns thrilling incident
of the third meeting between the De-
fender aud the ValkyrIe and occurred
about the time the British yacht
crossed the line, and then abandoned
the race because the regatta commit
tee would not agree to call it oil in the
event OF interference from the excur-
sion steamboats,. The incident WAS
nothing more nor less than collision
between Vanderbilt's magnificent
steam yacht Valiant end tho light
house tender Armenia. The latter ha
rs passengers number oil Federal of
iicials, including prominent naval
officers, stationed III this city. who
had gone TO New York specially to see
the yacht race. The Armenia formed
part OF the immense floating process
sion that was steaming rapidly down
the bay toward the starting point.
Nanderhilt's yacht, with selec. party
on board, was also in the fleet, and
through n series OF uunccouutable
blunders on the part Of its navigators
got directly in the path of the Armerin,
in quarters SO close that the latter
escaped running her down only by the
prompt and skilltul action OF her cap
tain IN rapidly changing the course of
his vessel. As 1t was the two vessels
came in collision. They separated,
however, without any material damage
TO either
One OF the naval officers on the
Armenia said ii WAS the closest shave
OF the kind he had ever Witnessed.
He does not yet fully understand how
the Valiant escaped being GU in two.
According to his version she was saved
from total destruction only by the
prompt action OF the captain of the
Armenia IN abruptly changing his
course at the right minute. 49, Washing.
ton Star.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1895-12-10
PITH AND POINT.

Jones lows Wheeler getting
along since he bought bicycle?"
Brown-"On crutches. I believe. -.
London Fun.
This is n change for the better"
remarked WigwaS as the cashier glvS
him eleven tens FOR n 500 bill. -
Philadelphia Record.
Little Girl Ito her mammal What
is dead letter, please" Mamma
"Ono that has been given to your
father to post. - Household Words
Cholly Yachtsman-"Ob,c could nc
your mainstay.' She docking Mt the
clock)-"You are. No one else stays
after half past IL. "-Syr ,cuse Post.
She sat De'or, M "a, the plav
She was u beauty quite.
The house was full. the air Wa cop',
Tho play was ont Of sight.
Boston COURIER
No, Maude, dear, tho tailor woul
scarcely make cool matrimonial
agent, although he does press other
peoples suits Tor them. Philadelphia
Record.
Fogg says they are quite s.ylisl a.
his boarding house. The servan. il
not in livery, but the breakfast is,
six mornings in the week. Boston
Transcript.
81 am moving to-day because L
could not pay the rent" That's
first-rate, I am moving for the same
reason; let's change quarters -
Fliegende Blaetter
Miss Planephace exhibiting her
photography Ever body says it
does not do me Justice Miss Pert
Evidently the artist is man of
tact. boston Transcript.
'Ah, no; do not doubt your love
Her voice with fon1ness thrills
81 know that you would die for me;
But would YOU pay my biIIs?'
Washington Sta.
Customer "a Loaf OF bread,
please" Baker "Five.cent loaf or
ten-cent Loaf" Customer (precisely)-
81 will take one of the loaves that yon
sell for five cents. "-Somerville Jour.
nal.
The Complaining Boarder This
meat is about the toughest that j ever
came across" The Philosophic
Boarder Eyes; but then there is
very little of it, you know. Boston
Transcript
Realization: Nephew -''Do you
know, uncle, dreamt last night that
you lent me 910?" Uncle generous.
ly)-"Is that so? Ait well, you
you may keep them, Otto. La
Perroquet.
YES" said the business man to thu
clergyman, ''ve lost good deal OF
time in my life" ''By fritteriug l.
away, l suppose?" "No, by being
punctual to my appointments. -
Boston Courier
'If we're only pretty she sighed.
'You can easily become So" said her
friend. "How?" Disappear mys.
teriously. never read of girl who
disappeared mysteriously who was not
pretty. Chicago Post.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1895-12-10
Louis NapoIeon,s Friendly BrlckI.re,,

The founder OF the firm OF Godilot,
whose extensive premises were recent
ly burned down, played in his time
subordinate part ID the history OF hi
country. He was employed as brick.
layer at the fortress Of Ham when
Louis Napoleon, who had been con
fined within its walls after his fiasco at
Strasburg, effected his escape. It was
Godillot who lent the Pretender his
blouse aud coarse WOODEN trousers and
thus enabled the Prince to slip out in
this disguise, carrying beam on his
shoulder, which concealed his features
from the soldiers on guard. After his
proclamation as Emperor, Napoleon
III testified his gratitude by paying
Godillot large sum OF money and ap-
pointing him purveryor TO the army
and the Military School Of various ar.
ticles OF outfit which soon became gen.
orally known under the appellation Of
"Godillots. '.-Revue Independence