davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-01-01
Reduced
From $3.50.

Honey Comb Spreads. with Mar
settles patterns. These are clearing
out prices.
~We are agents for HER
MAJESTY'S CORSET.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08
cou,du,t Make 1t Ont

One evening last November Shep-
herds Bush was visited by dense fog.
making 1t extremely awkward for Pc
destrians crossing the road opposite
Uxbridge Road Station. where cabs and
buses are continually passing to and
fro. So bad was the fog that 1t was al
most impossible to see more than foot
or SO In front OF one. says Pearson's
Weekly. A gentleman going home from
the city, and just coming out Of the
station, thought 1t would be safer to
cross the road first; then, once over.
he would have the assistance Of the
lights from the shops. He got across
the road safely, as he thought, and ran
up against a shop window. Being an
old resident. he was we'll acquainted
with all the shops, but on looking
through the window. this one puzzled
him considerably. He observed several
persons inside, most of them reading
newspapers, sitting in rows and facing
each other. All at once. however. while
he was racking his brain as to what
kind Of shop 1t was. the shop and peo-
pie glided almost noiselessly away be-
fore his eyes, leaving him in the dark
again! 1t turned out 1t was a tramcar
that he had run up against, standing
in the middle Of the road, and 1t al
most cut his toes of.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08
A Cucumber Fiend.

An Americus bailiff, whose weakness
is for cucumbers, struck store where
the innocent-looking undertaker's as
sistants were on sale. Picking up one
about the size of coupling pin he
asked the price.
1.-TWO fer nick" was the brief reply
of the up-to-date clerk.
"That's too much" replied the bailiff.
"Tell you what I'll do. though" he
added. 'I'll give you dime to let me
eat all want"
The offer was accepted, and the bailiff
lit upon a peck measure Of cucumbers.
eating them ravenously. AS one after
another disappeared the grocer's boy
became uneasy, and after the twelfth
had disappeared. offered the bailiff a
quarter to stop.
well, could eat a dozen or two
more" he replied. looking longingly at
the half-fllled peck measure. "but being
as it's you. I'll call the trade or" And.
pocketing the quarter. he ambled away
In search of another victim. - Atlanta
Constitution.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08
SCORE ONE FOR MRS. sLooMER.

Her Trousers We're Responsible for the
Dragoons' Song In 'Patience."
A prominent woman suffrage advo-
cate said the other day to New York
Press representative: do you know
that W. s. Gilbert, who wrote The
Mikado.' 'Pinafore.' Patience and
those other comic operas. got his idea
for a song in Patience from a woman's
suffrage advocate who was active in
New York forty years ago?
"The song Is When first put this
uniform on You know 1t is sung by the
heavy dragons, with Yes, Yes
chorus, and is one Of the prettiest
things in a pretty opera. Well, when the
bloomer fashion was first brought into
notice, In the fifties, Mrs. Bloomer wore
the garb, and some one wrote song
that was supposed to be in her words,
When I first put this uniform on 1t
referred to bloomers, of course, in that
case.
when Gilbert wrote the libretto he
saw there was good opportunity in
this song. So he wrote new words
and Sullivan wrote the music, retaining
the old refrain.
This is the truth, but 1 do not think
1t Is generally known.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08
FIRST TINE. SEE7

An IT'S De Last Time, Too. Dat rss
Asoin' to Do 1t, Sect
Say. mister, w'ere's de bloke wat
gives out dem t'ings wat dey calls
lisens, or whatever dey is, de things l
calls permits ter git hitched? Is dat
de feller? Well, Ise lookin' fur him
good an strong terday."
And thereupon there walked into the
Cincinnati probate court man who
was In search of the clerk who issues
the marriage licenses. He was directed
to the proper desk and strobe up to 1t
with a swagger that would have done
credit to would-be prize fighter who
did all his fighting with his mouth.
Say. pard, 1 want one o. them things
wat permits a feller to git hitched ter
his biddy and gives him de right ter
lick 'er II he wants ter. see? amt
never ben up agin dis ting before, an
tell yer right now it's de first an de
last time. see, but got ter go agin 1t
dis time JUS fur luck. Do want a
certificate? Course do. want ev'ry
ting dat berlongs to the match. Dol
lar an half. did yer say? Gittin'
perty stiff in der price; Mike, got any
dough? amt got der price O. money
wild me, see? It's all right. Mike. dis
Is der last time an it's der first. too,
see? an yer got ter felp a feller out"
And thereupon Mike" the friend Of
the applicant, paid for the papers. and
the prospective husband went away
with visions of bliss and the rigbk to
click" his wife.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08
HIS VIEW OF THE rHINo.

fhs Little Gira Escaped. but He Was
battered Into State of Reckless Ruin
The wheelman who was scorching
through Washington Park rounded one
Of the curves just as little girl about
years old started to run across the
road in front Of him. says Chicago
Tribune. He set his teeth, turned his
bicycle sharply to the left. and new out
Of the saddle In one direction. while
the machine went tumbling in another,
the little girl escaping by q hairs
breadth.
"You careless brute!" exclaimed q
sharp-voiced matron. who came run
ming up. you monkey on two wheels!
What do you mean by racing about the
park in this daredevil kind of way?
Haven't you got any consideration for
other folks? Don't you know you're al
ways liable to run over somebody. DO
you want to scare people to death?
Some people haven't got the sense they
were born with. If had my way about
It. I'd stop this business mighty quick.
You might have killed my child"
Eyes. ma'am." replied the young man,
who had gathered himself up and was
making an inventory of his damages.
But I didn't. She got OF without
scratch. while I've got skinned elbow.
bruised knee, a sprained ankle. and
lame shoulder. There's piece of skin
as big as half-dollar gone from the
palm Of my hand. my hair is full Of
dirt, I've ruined suit of clothes. and
It will cost me SIS to have the machine
mended. II I'm not kicking ma'am, l
don't think you ought to kick"
He picked up his broken bicycle, put
It over his shoulder. and limped slowly
away in the direction Of the nearest
repair shop.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08
CURIOUS TREES.

Gigantic and Historic and Valuable
Specimens Thrive In the South.
The largest orange tree in the south
3 gigantic specimen which grows out
Of the rich soil in Terre Bonne Parish,
Louisiana. 1t is so feet high and 10
feet in circumference at the base. Its
yield has often been 10000 oranges per
season. The "tallow tree" of China has
a pith from one inch to two feet in di-
ameter, according to the size of the
tree, which Is composed of greasy
wax, which is SO highly volatile that it
often catches fire spontaneously, con-
suming the tree to the very ends of its
roots. The largest oak tree now left
standing in England is "Cowthorpes
Oak" which is seventy-eight feet in
circumference at the ground. The
oldest tree in Britain is 'Parliamen-
tary Oak" in Clipstone Park, London,
which is known to be 1900 years old.
The largest apple tree in New York
state is said to be one standing near
the town of Wilson. 1t was planted
In the year 1915, and 1t is on record
that 1t once yielded thirty-three bar
rels Of apples in single season. There
are 413 species Of trees found growing
within the limits of the United States.
The curiosity of the whole lot is the
black ironwood. Of Florida, which is
thirty per cent heavier than water.
Well-dried black ironwood will sink in
water almost as quickly as will bar of
lead. The "life tree" of Jamaica is
harder to kill than any other species
Of wood growth known to arboricultur-
lists. It continues to grow and thrive
for months after being uprooted and
exposed to the sun.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08
sosToN's BIG WATER SCHEME.
Works to Cost More Than Twenty-ssvsn
Million Dollars.

Works to Cost More Than Twenty Seven
Million Dollars.
An engineering plan Of enormous proper.
complete, is the metropolitan water supply
system which the Massachusetts, Legislature
authorized at the last session. 1t proposes to
ton, Chelsea, Everett. Maiden, Medford,
Newton and Somervile, and to the six
small towns lying nearest to Boston. The
population in this district includes about
and It is growing with disproportionate
rapidity. Manifestly. then, the problem Of
furnishing the district with good water Is
not simple or inexpensive one to solve.
The nearest source where a sufficient guam
tty OF pure water can be found Is the
south branch Of the Nashua river. and this
VIII yield 4I2 100000 gallons daily; supply
some time to come. BY the terms of the
measure which the Legislature has passed,
the cities Of Woburn and Quincy, with u
cluster of towns around them are to be
allowed to enter the district, IL they shall
decide to do SO. and 1t Is believed that the
water system which has been planned will
be able to supply their wants, in addition to
district. A metropolitan water board has
been created by the Legislature to have
charge of this great public enterprise, and
1t Is empowered to issue bonds to the
amount OF the estimated cost of the works,
payable In gold after term of forty years.
A sinking fund, which Is to be increased by
regular Investments from the water rent tails,
the payment of the bonds ut maturity. Al
together the enterprise Is one that excites
interest by Its magnitude and the methods
by which Its objct Is to be secured.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08
A SLAVE FROM BOYHOOD.
(From the Red Wing, Mimi, Republic.n.)

F, From the Red Wing Mimi, Republican,
IT am now twenty-four years old"
said Edward Swanson. of White Rock.
Goodhue County. Mimi. to Republican
representative. "and as you can see
am not very large Of stature. When
was eleven year, old became afflicted
with a sickness which bafi1ed the skill
and knowledge Of the physician. was
not taken suddenly Ill but on the con-
trary I can hardly state the exact time
when II began. The frst symptoms
were pains in my back and restless
nights. The disease did not trouble me
settled in my body to stay and my bitter
experience during the last thirteen years
proved that to be the case.
was OF course a child and
in store for me. complained to
my parents and they concluded that in
time would outgrow my trouble. but
when they heard me groaning during
my sleep they became thoroughly
alarmed. Medical advice was sought
and was soon unable to move about and
finally became confined continually to
my bed. The best doctors that could be
had were consulted. but did nothing for
me. I tried various kinds of extensively
advertised patent medicines with but
the same result.
For twelve long years I was thus .
sufferer in constant agony without re-
spite. abscesses formed on my body in
rapid succession and the world indeed
looked very dark to me. About this
time when all hope was gone and moth
Ing seemed left but to resign myself to
my most bitter fate my attention was
called to DIR. Williams Pink Pills for
Pale People. Like a drowning man
grasping at a straw. in sheer despera-
ton concluded to make one more at
tempt-not to regain my health Il dare
not to hope SO much) but II possible to
ease my pain.
II bought a box Of the pills and they
seemed to do me good. I felt encour-
aged and continued their use. After
taking six boxes I was up and able to
walk around the house. 1 have not felt
30 well for thirteen Years as during the
past year. Only one year have I taken
DR.. Williams Pink Pills and I am able
now to do chores and attend to light
duties.
DO hesitate to let you publish what
have said? No. Why should 1? 1t 10
other sufferers know my experience. 1t
may help those whose cup of misery Is
as full to-day as mine was In the past"
DR.. Williams Pink Pills contain. in .
condensed form, all the elements neces-
sary to give new life and richness to the
blood and restore shattered nerves.
They build up the blood and restore the
glow of health to pale and sallow cheeks.
Pink Pills are sold in boxes (never in
loose bulk) at 80 cents a box or six boxes
for $3.50. and may be had of all drug
gists, or direct by nail from DR.. Will
liams' Medicine Company. Schenectady.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08
JOXIAL THOUGHTS.

Friend-Do much fishing nowadays?
Honest Lad-Lots of 1t. Friend-Catch
many? Honest Lad-Um-I don't fish
for fish. Just fisht for fun-see?
Riggs-There was one thing 1 could
buy as cheap at Surfville-by-the-Sea as
I could at home. Biggs-What In the
world was It? Riggs-Postage stamps.
Charming Widow-And what are you
doing nowadays? He-oh. simply
amusing myself. Looking out for No.
1. And you? Charming Widow
Looking out for No. 2.
Critic-I tell you what 1t is. Mr.. Nc
Daub. those ostriches are simply su-
perb. You shouldn't paint anything
but birds. Artist DEMONSTRATIONS
are not ostriches. They are angels!
She (after a passage at arms)-You
loved me then! Hell love you now.
She (resignedly)-Ah, well. I suppose If
a woman can get man to love her
now and then she should be content!
Charles Frohman is credited with say
ing to a vacillating friend: my dear
boy. observe the postage stamp: Its
usefulness depends upon its ability to
stick to one thing until 1t gets there y
What is verse as distinguished from
poetry?" asked the linguistic man.
VERSE;" replied the magazine editor.
after he had pondered. "is the term ap-
piled by any poet to the work of his
contemporaries"
Traveler-Madam, can 1 get a drink
here? Lady of the House-Certainly.
There's the we'll; help yourself. Trav-
eler with a courtly gesture)-Madam.
you misunderstand me. 1 don't wish to
wash my hands: want a drink
"Of-of course, Mr.. Smith, feel very
flattered by your offer; but-but you
can hardly expect a decided answer. as
I have known you for SO short time"
well. what am I to 90? All the girls
who've known me longer have refused
me-"
Boyd Decker. the manager of the Sa-
voy hotel. In speaking of fashy,
snowy woman who was inclined to
muddle her remarks In two languages
said: Her linguistic attainments al.
ways suggest the idea that she mus.
aave learned her English in Franco
.nd her French in England"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08
No I,m,. to Their Imagination.

A west side mother the other day ex-
plained as we'll as she could the story
Of the resurrection to her young sons,
Bennie and Fritz, aged and years.
Some little time after that she missed
them, and in searching for them heard
voices in the basement. There she
found Bennie perched on the coal bin,
while Fritz lay stretched out on the
floor with his hands clasped over his
chest. All was silent for q moment,
and then Fritz called up to his brother:
please bod. I des you're fordotteu
me-" "Oh, scuse me. Jesus, come right
up" was the monchalant reply from
the top Of the bin.-Ex.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08

10 Clpvsr Carl.
She paints n little; glorious things,
Which nature neer produces;
She's also musical and sings
When asked, nor makes excuses
And yet not pictured canvas shows
The cOloring delicious,
Which meath her skill so practiced grows
Upon the dinner dishes.
No melody is half so sweet
As that whose notes come streaming
Out Of the kettle, small and neat,
Where CHEEKY Goals are cleaning
Upon your charming, gifted youth,
The world with Joy is looking:
But of your dainty arts, in sooth,
The daintest IL cooking.
Warrington Star.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08
a ward 10 the Mare

The world is not big enough for the sue
may part, but 1t is not success; 1t is failure.
Both must carry away the marks of 1t. and
whatever may happen neither is quite as
and all easements Of that sort, we have con-
trlved to make deeply serious business Of
marriage. We ought to applaud those who
succeed In 1t, because success Is so indis-
pensably necessary.
declare that am personally grateful to
married people who get on conspicuousy
well. They are a reassuring spectacle In
society, and as part Of society, tnke COM
fort In knowing them and am obliged to
them for existing.-scribner.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08
Don't Drag Your Foot.

Many men do because the nerve centers,
weakened by the long-continued use of tobacco
become SO affected that they are weak, tired
overcome II he tobacco user wants TO quit and
gain manhood, nerve POWER, and enjoy vigor-
ousiy the good things OF life. Take No-To-B Bac
Guaranteed to cure or money refunded by
druggists everywhere Book free. Address the
Sterling Remedy Co New York City or Chicago
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08
s.y Nothing but saw wood.

A sensation was created In Jersey
City Monday night by the performance
Of several young women of the South
Bergen Reformed church, who engaged
In q wood-sawing contest for hand.
some prize. and incidentally to get
money for the church. The contest oc-
CURED at q church fair In two large
tents. Logs of equal circumference
were selected and arranged on saw
horses, which were gayly decorated.
Each contestant at signal placed her
knee against the log. in true backwoods
style, and began to saw.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08

Bethany College, at Lindsborg, Kansas.
will begin its fifteenth year September II.
Bethany has had wonderful growth, and
to-day stands as one of the strongest de-
In the
Its college diploma is recognized by Yale,
Chicago and European universities. Strong
departments in Latin, Greek, French and
German. Good normal departments The
business college has the finest class room In
the state The music sita and art % departmpenabts paab
any Is said to have no competition in the
West. Her artists are trained in Europe.
Bethany has beautiful campus, fine, pleas
ant surroundings, and deserves her popular
ity, which gave her an increase of students
even last year: This year large gymna-
slum and auditorium Is being erected.
Singular that a man With no money to
trouble him should have money troubles
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08
INDIAN BOYS AT SCHOOL.

Amos Black Bull Writes About the Horse
-He Says 1t Has Four Legs.
Following is an exact copy. punctu-
alton and all, of an essay on the horse,
written by an Indian boy of 15 years,
who was at one time pupil of the
Rosebud agency school, in Rosebud. 8.
D., says the st. Louis Republic:
THE horse has four feet and two
ears and one mouth and two eyes one
tail. He can drink; he can eat grass he
can eat corn.
man and draw wagon. He can kick
foot is bad. One horse is little and one
horse is big. Some horse very stout,
hee can pull.
"One red, one black, one white. one
gray and one yellow. One is donkey.
"one boy ride pony. The pony put
down head put up hind feet SO boy fall
down and cry.
I'VE have horses is homo the boys
can ride. AMOS BLACK BULL.
aged IL, Sd year-in school.
Rosebud Agency. South OAK"
The Indian pupils. as soon as they
have learned to do any writing at all,
are much inclined to letter-writing.
and on all occasions. when they could
much more conveniently speak to their
teacher, will send her q letter instead.
The following letter was written by
an Indian pupil to her teacher, who
was much beloved by them:
Little Oak School,
"Feb. 3.
Miss Minnie M
please. Friday Mary going agency.
my sister me very wants my sister he
says where is George go over there Lit
tie Oak Creek.
George I want and Friday come
quickly come and may please Miss
Ne going please.
"Good-by. KOLA MICUSA-"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08
GREAT BOOK FREE.

When DR.. R. v. Pierce, of Buffalo, N. Y,
published the first edition of his work, The
Peoples Common Sense Medical Adviser,
he announced that after $50, 900 copies had
been sold at the regular price, 81. so per
copy, the profit on which would repay him
for the great amount of labor and money
expended in producing It, he would dis
tribute the next half million free. As this
number of copies has already been sold, he
is now distributing, absolutely free, 10000
rGpsss piese' interest t f COUPON ing l and val.
asSs Isd1 esa eGmmen eSen No111 npi,heda %sd
the recipient only being required to mail.
to him, at the above address, this little
COUPON with twenty-one (ar) cents in one
cent stamps to pay for postage and pack
ing only, and the book will be sent by mail.
1t is a veritable medical library, complete
in one volume. 1t contains over 1000 pages
and more than 900 illustrations. The Free
Edition is precisely the same as those sold
at $3.50 except only that the books are
bound in strong MANILA paper covers in
stead of cloth. Send NOW before all are
given away. They are going off rapidly.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08

sided, pallid, woe-begone dyspeptic, II you
reinforce digestion. insure the conversion Of
cover appetite and sleep Sy the systematic
use of the great renovator Of health, strength
and flesh. Aostetter,s Stomach Bitters
rheumatic trouble, nervousness, constipation
and biliOusness.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08

TO CIeHhHe the system
Effectually yet gently. when costive or
bilious. or when the blood is impure or
sluggish, to permanently cure habitual
constipation. to awaken the kidneys and
liver to a healthy activity, without ir-
ritating or weakening them, to dispel
headaches. colds or fevers use Syrup of
Ft0s
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08

W. a. GRIFFIN, Jackson. Michigan, writes:
Suffered with atarrh for fifteen years. Halls
Cntarrh Cure cured me-" Sold by Druggists 75c.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08

State, County. City and School District
BONDS BONDS and ,oWn,s WARRANTs ES,,rS SG1rTesgondence
Cooper Building, Denver Colorado.
Branch: Chamber of Com Bldg Portland Or
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08

Happy the man who secs . God en-
ployed
In III the good and Ill that checker lifsl
-Cowpsr.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08

No one laughs harder at poker joke than
the man who wants the bystanders to be.
lIeve that he understands IT.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08

back number-the one that saucy ur
chin chalks upon an unsuspecting mans
back lust for fun.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08

He who has health has hope: and he
~ bst hops haS svsrythiug!lArshsAH
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08
Laugh md Grow F,rt

A man sentenced to be hanged asked for
a suspension of public opinion in its stead.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08

The height of tyranny-to arrest brook
because 1t murmurs.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08
Twenty-sixth Trienniai Conciave, Knights
Tempinr, Boston, Mass, August $3.50.

The Union Pacific has been selected as the
official route of the Grand Commandery.
Official train Will leave Denver at 10 p. M,
August II to % at one lowest irst-class
fare for the round trip, good to September
Der g. See nearest ticket agent, or call on
or address George Ady, OIL Seventeenth
street, Denver, for additional information.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08
w. Want 10 Rux

The report of the failure of the peach
crop is often a false alarm.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08

Some of the loudest advocates of protec-
tlon for home industry are never engaged
in any Industry at home.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08

"Aanson's Magic Corn 6s1vo."
Warranted to money refunded. Ask your
lruggtst for 1t. Price Is cents
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08

Mothers appreciate this good work
Ginger Tonic with its reviving qualities
IA boon to the sleepess and nervous
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08
PRODUCING A PANIC.
BANKS Owe THE PEOPLE AN
OBJECT LESSON.

Judge Miller Quotes from Gold Stand
ard Sources to Show That the Finan-
eial Horrors of 1893 Were Manufae-
tuFed for Purpose.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08

What has done more for the elevation Of
woman than the balloon?
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08

Piso's Cure for Consumption Is an A-No. l
asthma medicine.-W. r. Williams, Antioch.
Ills, April IL, 1894.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08

A mutton headed doctor always has his
sheepskin with him.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08

When you come to realise
that your corns gone, and no more pain, how
grateful you feel. All the work OF Hindorcorns 1bc
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08

The pictures in a rogues' gallery are not
III steal engravinEs.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08
10 CIeanre the sy.teu

Singular that a man With no money to
trouble him should have money troubles.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1895-08-08

I'm down on your cheek, as the beard sail
to the youth.