Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1895-05-24
but En- months and trIfles were magnl-

fled into mountains.
Observing that she really felt hurt. /
told her that she looked al right ana
assured her that the platform that she
had succeeded in erecting at the back
of her waist was broad enough to sup
port a political party. This put her In
better spirits and she became confiden-
tial.
do you know" she said, " was
tempted to utilize the pillow cases
They would have answered admirably.
But | feared their absence might lead
suspicion to point to the servants. a
few newspapers would have done very
well, but there were none at hand. With
the aid of a chair / was able to find
an old dusty roll of paper on top of the
wardrobe. did not unite it; | just made
little hole at each end, tied shoe
string in each, bent it little and tied
1t on
You certainly are the mother of in
vention, if of nothing else l answered,
kissing her as + spoke.
About ten days later / was sitting at
the breakfast table, in my Boston house,
reading the morning paper. That's
queer" l said, glancing from the paper
to my wife, Mr.. Claytons will cant
be found. 1 will read what it says:
The will Of Mr.. Parkman Clayton.
the millionaire, whose funeral took
place on the 9Th inst. cannot be found.
His lawyer, Mr.. Phillips Andrews, says
that he wrote the will at Mr.. Clayton S
dictation last December, and that after
signing it Mr.. Clayton took possession
OF the paper. A thorough search has
been made, but without success. Sus-
plc1on points to Austin Clayton, son
OF the dead man, who, If not disinherlt-
ed, was some years previously denied
admission to his fathers house. 1t is
thought the young man may have
gained possession of the document
through the instrumentality of the SER
wants. In the event of it's not being
found Austin would be entitled to his
share of the estate The matter is be-
ing Investigated
In this situation the matter rested,
when. several months later, 1 was dress
ing hurricdly to go to the opera. My
shirt was too stiff to button readily, my
studs We're rebellious and all the an
noying things which invariably over
take one when in a hurry fell to my lot.
| was provoked. and in my agitation ac-
cidentally jerked out my collar button.
AS usual, it sought refuge beneath the
bureau.
! ran into my wife's room, she was
already dressed and waiting expecting
to find one, or something that might
answer But an array of hairpins. but
ton-hooks and manicure implements
alone greeted me. She must have some
thing that will do l thought, as l hast
lily opened her bureau drawer.
y-1,G f cip viii
bons fans. smelling TASKS, wells and
numerous other things We're engaged in
bitter conflict, each endeavoring to out
do the other. In tumbling these about
In my search l came upon an odd look
Ing affair, so unique in design and con-
struction as to excite my curiosity. 1t
was roll Of parchment, or stiff paper
with a shoestring dangling from each
end
BY George!' 1 exclaimed, mentally.
Here is my wife's patent hustle, the
substitute of Bessys Partisan crea-
ton"
AS / held it in my hand glanced in
the opened end and saw that there was
writing within. Hastily tearing it
apart, the missing will of Mr.. Clay
tons, together with deed for some
property in Vermont lay before me.
l was SO delighted with the joke 1
had on my wife that I gave no further
thought to the opera, nor to my APP
pearance. In inartistic deshabille /
threw myself upon the bed and laughed
Unfortunately. In this position / was
found by my wife, who, not unnatural
ly, thought me partially demented.
Are you going to the opera? or do
VOL ON ont in ic
farce?" she asked. pretending to be
vexed.
My darling 1 answered "if, when
you We're in possession of that i'm
mense fortune, or perhaps should say,
when you We're SO near to it, you had
invested in a few collar buttons you
would not find it necessary now to COM
plain of my hardness"
Are you hopelessly crazy?" she
asked, stepping back as if in fear.
What do you mean about my fortune 2"
81 mean" I answered, seriously tax
ing different tack, that you are sus-
pected of having stolen Mr.. Clayton's
will. The missing document has been
found in your bureau drawer, and it's
appearance indicates that it was CON
cealed about your person when you
y
honored guest"
Her cleverness came at once to her
assistance. DO you mean" she asked,
coming closer and speaking low, that
the roll of paper your carelessness
obliged me to use was Mr. Clayton's
will?"
Yes; that is about the situation
1 answered, carelessly. But you may
meet with some trouble in convincing
jury that my carelessness justified
your felony But I'll get you off, said,
seeing / was carrying my joke too far.
1--WE will send it to the Clayton's anon
ymously. They will be SO glad to get
it they will not inquire where it came
from"
I did not do so, of course, but made
an explanation which left out the hustle
incident. However, for many day
1.-The fortune my wife was near to"
served me admirably. But in an evil
hour l, in writing the invitations to a
dinner we were giving, inadvertently
put "R l. p in the lower left-hand
corner of each. For a while my wife
egas master and the Clayton will was
never mentioned Since that date I have
regarded joking as an evidence of low
origin.
pI EASING PARAGRAPHS