The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1895-08-15

ground that something was wrong with
him. He came down the street with his
shoulders bumped up and his hat pulled
down on his ears, and as he assembled
the front steps his scuff scuff scuff
was a warning that row was at hand
"What is it, dear?" asked Mrs. Bow
ser as she opened the door for him.
Mr.. Bowser made no reply. He sort
of lodged out from under his hat and
let it fall and roll down the hall and
then proceeded ON to the family sitting
room and sat down ON the couch with
weight that Jared the chandelier.
Anything wrong dear?" persisted
Mrs. Bowser, who had dutifully fol
lowed him up.
Mr.. Bowser united and kicked his
shoes across the room, and holding up
his stockinged feet to her gaze he hoarse-
ly whispered
Look there Holes, Mrs Bowser-
holes in my socksl"
"Yes, l see 'em, " she calmly replied.
"You woke up ten minutes late this
morning and when heard you rushing
around | wondered if you wouldn't
make some mistake. You see"-
Eyes, see" he interrupted. 81 see
holes in the heels and toes of these socks
holes which have set me almost crazy
all day long. That's the sort of house
keeper you are That's the kind of in
terest you take in your husbands COM
fort and welfare. Nice thing if I'd met
with an accident and been taken to q
hospital, wouldn't it?"
Where did you get those socks this
morning?"
Where Where Why, out of the bag
in the closet, of course. You don't sup
pose l went up on the roof looking for
'em, do you, though they might have
been there for all you knew"
Mr.. Bowser, put those socks away
three days ago to prevent you from get
ting hold of them until l could look
them over. Why on earth you should 60
to all that trouble when you have four
or five pairs in your bureau drawer is
more than can tell. -
-Four or five pairs in my bureau
drawerr' he shouted. Never Not .
pair, not a sock, not even the heeI
of sock. looked there, but nothing
was to be found but an old hairbrush.
If this house was run on system, Mrs.
Bowser; if it wasn't left alone to run
itself, l might find at least one pair Of
old socks without wasting half an hours
time to look for them, but I've given NJ
all hope Is it any wonder l have corn'
and bunions and varicose veins and rheu
matism? Is it any wonder l limp and
hump and halt and go about like a mar
100 years old?'
For reply Mrs. Bowser went up stairs
and returned in a minute with five pairt
of clean and almost new socks and held
them up for him to look at.
Eyes, l Inowr' he said as he turned
his head away. Probably had 'em un
der your pillow or hung up to the cell
ing I'm neither cross eyed nor near
sighted nor an idiot. If those socks hat
been in my bureau drawer, SHOULD
have found 'em.
"They were right there, Mr. Bowser
You've had that same drawer for the
last ten years, and there's never been 6
time when you hadn't clean socks il
it. "
"Woman' p cried Mr. Bowser as he
rose up, "am the head or the foot of
this establishment? Am 1 your husband
or the man who cuts the grass in the
yard?"
"You are the head of the house and
my husband" replied Mrs Bowser.
"Then treat me as such No wife
should dispute her husband. When say
there were no socks in my bureau
drawer, say what know, and it's no
for you to stand up and talk back. Il
that were all-but it isn't Look at the
way I'm all bumped up like blamed
old camel! l haven't had my feet OIL
the ground today"
"Your trousers are too short, sale
Mrs. Bowser as she stood off and looked
ut his ankles.
Don't know it, and how came they
too short? Yesterday these trousers wer,
all right; today they have been liftinl
me off the earth l found 'em in tn,
bag with the socks, 1 supposed"
1.-THE matter is that you've buckleC
up your suspenders too tight. VIII.
didn't you let 'em down."
Eyes, why didn't do this and VIII,
didn't do that?" he growled as HI
walked back and forth and kicked tn,
chairs aside. I'm give $40, 900 reward
for the arrest and conviction of the fienC
who got up in the night and meddlet
with my suspenders But it isn't sock
and suspenders alone, Mrs. Bowser-
look at this collarl''
give been looking at it," she re
piled. "You woke up late, dressed in
hurry, swallowed your breakfast befor
/ got down, and the fact is You hadn'
half dressed. Your collar wasn't but
toned behind, and as consequence ha
been up around your ears all day Turl
around here. No; it isn't buttoned. :"
"And why not, Mrs. Bowser-wh,
not?" he demanded as he stopped be
fore her and drew himself up. ''Is m,
head filed with sawdust? Haven't
enough common sense to button col
lar on? Who got up in the night and
and
Nobody got up in the night, but 20,
got up in the morning" she said as h
paused to find words to finish his sen
tence. lyon must have something be
hind your shirt bosom to make it put
out that way. Well, if that isn't jus
like you"
She held up a towel before his eye
and gave it a shake, and bis face turne
from red to white and back again as HI
whispered:
MRS. Bowser, how-how did thai
towel get-get behind my shirt"
lyon put it there, Of course. Have
you any old hats, shoes, hair brushes OF
brush brooms hidden away under the
back of your vest or in your pockets?"
"Woman-woman" -
Eyes, I'm woman. You didn't turn
the sleeves of your coat wrong side out
when you put the garment on, but you
vest isn't buttoned up right, and You We
put your glasses in the wrong pocket.
What's this in your shoe, Mr.. Bowser?'
"In-in my shoe?'
"Yes, in your shoe. You were limp.
ing as you came down the street Here's
one Of your shirt studs, and it's been
digging into your heel all day. Didn't
it occur to you to take off your shoe?"
Mr.. Bowser stood and glared and
realized that he had the worst of the ar
gument. 1t wouldn I do to acknowledge
1t, however, and so he pulled himself
together by great effort and said:
Very we'll, Mrs. Bowser-very we'll
/ see how it is l understand this little
, business right from the beginning, and
no matter how painful it may be to me
it is my duty to-to-to''-
ITO come down to dinner" she said
as the lump in his throat choked off his
words.
But he wouldn't He picked up his