davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1895-04-24
He Shaved Himself,

Il heard good barber story the 9th,
er day" said man in the hotel rotun-
da, "and for genuine sarcasm believe
it carries off the palm. 1t may be an old
one at that, but if it is it's worth re-
peating. 1t appears that certain bar
Der was trying to describe certain man
to customer in his chair. He thought
the customer ought to know him, as he
bad lived here long time and had
often sat on platforms at public meet
ings with other vice presidents.
He is tall, thin man, with dark
hair, said the barber.
Has he a smooth face?' asked the
customer.
mo, said the barber, he shaves
III '''-'-'"-o T~tsr O-aan
A youth who is yet classed as small
boy, in whose family there is a physician.
came home recently from visit to the
M. D. and seemed to be full of knowl.
edge. 81 am not going to play games
with kissing" he announced to his own
family. mo more kissing games for
me-" He was pressed for reason.
"Well," he responded, with the air Of
a child having just made an important
discovery, there is so much disease
going around, and most of it is caught
by kissing, and who knows what the
girls may Observation-Disclosures Post.
The Anglo-Saxons called New Year's
the Wolf-monat because the wolves were
more ravenous then than at other times,
and the Scandinavians also called il
Aefter- Yule. In old illuminated missals
and calendars January is depicted as
an old man, carrying woodman's az
and q bunch of fagots, shivering and
blowing upon his fingers Exchange
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1895-04-24
Slaughtered the Hog.

The Pittsburg Dispatch tells how q
railroad hog" was punished the other
day. He had piled the space next to
him in car seat with his bundles, and
when a gentleman asked him If any one
was to OCCUPY it he replied that the
bundles belonged to man who was
temporarily in the smoking car. "All
right" said the gentleman, 81 will sit
in the seat till he comes," and he pro-
ceeded to remove the bundles. Pretty
soon the owner of the bundles arrived at
his destination and he started to gather
up his effects. But the gentleman at
once put veto ON this. with the re-
mark: "You can't take these bundles.
You yourself said they belonged to o
man in the smoker The fellow got
mad and abusive, but the gentleman
was inexorable.
Finally the conductor was called in,
who delivered his dictum as follows:
''If the bundles are not claimed by any
one on the train. then, by coming around
to the depot tomorrow and Identifying
them satisfactorily we will give them
to you." The mans face was as red as
fire with rage, and he shook like gela.
tin, but he could do nothing, so, amid
the laughter Of the passengers, he rush.
ed out of the car to jump of just as the
train was pulling out from the station.
And he meekly came around to the de.
pot for his bundles the next day, but
swore revenge upon the man who play.
ed such a practical joke upon him.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1895-04-24
TO INVENTORS.

II you have made an invention you want q
patent. And you want good one. There are
various kinds OF patents. Some of them are
not worth keeping around the house. They
don't protect. 1t is as unsafe to trust to them
as to a lightning rod without a ground con-
nection. That is the kind an inventor is like
ly to get when he draws up his own specif1ca-
tions or trusts the work to an irresponsible
attorney. 1t is not the kind dealt in by the
Press Claims Company.
DO you want to know what the Press Claims
Company is? 1t is syndicate of hundreds of
the leading papers of the United States, or
ganized to protect those of the subsc' ibers
who have dealings with Government against
the impostiOns of INSCRIPTIONS claim agents.
The Spectators is member.
This able Company employs the best legal
talent in every branch of its work. II makes
a speciality Of all matters relating to patents.
conducting interferences, prosecuting rejected
cases, registering trademarks and copyrights,
rendering opinions as to scope and validity Of
patents. securing patents abroad, prosecuting
and defending infringement suits, etc. It
charges nothing for information, and very
moderate ices for services.
Addre. S,
PRESS CLAIMS COMPANY,
No. 618 F ST.. N. W.,
WASHINGTON, D. C.
JOHN WEDDFRBURN,
oct 1T-tf General Manager.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1895-04-24
The Baltimore Weekly Sun.

The WEEKLY SUN PUBLISHES ALL THE NEWS
OF each week. giving complete accounts of all
events of interest throughout the world. As
an AGRICULTURAL psper THE WEEKLY SUN is
unsurpassed. 1t is edited by writers Of prac
tical experience, who know what farming
means and what farmers want in an agricul-
tural journal. 1t contains regular reports of
the work of the AGRICULTURAL experiment
stations throughout the country, of the pro-
ceedings of farmers CLUBS and Institutes. and
the discussion of new methods and ideas in
agriculture. Its MARKET REPORTS, POULTRY
DEPARTMENT and Veterinary column are par
ticularly valuable to country readers Every
issue contains STORIES, POEMS, HOUSEHOLD
AND PUZZLE COLUMNS, a variety of interesting
and instructive selected matter and other fea-
lures, which make it welcome visitor in city
and country homes alike.
One dollar year. Inducements to getters-
up of clubs for the Weekly Sun. Both the
Daily and Weekly Sun mailed free of postage
In the United States Canada and Mexico
Payments invariably in advance. Address
a. s. ABEL COMPANY,
Publishers and Proprietors.
Baltimore, Nd.
aapJ Je
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1895-04-24
OVER THE SEA TO SKYE.

Sing me Dong OF a lad that Is gone.
Say could that lad be II
Merry of s,ul, he sailed on day
Over the sea to Skye.
Null was astern, Egg on the port.
Rum on the starboard bow;
Glory Of youth glowed in his soul.
Where is that glory now?
Sing me song of lad that Is gons.
Say, could that lad be /?
Merry Of soul, he sailed on day
Over the sea to Skye.
Give me again all that was there,
Give me the sun that shonel
Give me the eyes, give me the soul,
Give me the lad that's gonei
Sing me a song Of lad that is gone.
Say, could that lad be l?
Merry of soul, he sailed on day
, Over the sea to Skye
Billow and breeze, islands and seas,
Mountains Of rain and sun,
ALI that was good, all that was fair,
All that was me is gone
Robert Louis Stevenson
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1895-04-24
TO MY FRIENDS
And the Public Generally.

have rented the stable on Water street
known as the Club stable, and am prepared, at
my Sale and Feed Stable, to board horses by
also to furnish saddle and driving Orses.
double and single.
| can furnish you a nice nrn-out-Surry,
Buggies. Buck Boards, etc, all in style.
accommodated at moderate prices
Parties wanting f1rst-clasS turnoutS can be
Fine horses always kept for sale.
Hoping to receive share If your patronage
and guaranteeing satisfaction. am
Respectfully,
mar IL If r 4. CLEMMI1R.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1895-04-24

Hours for Arrival and Closing Of Mails at Staun-
ton P0StO1iCe.

ARRIVE.
BY c. AND o. RAILROAD.
q. M from north, south, east and west.
9.57 a. m. from west.
2.4O p. m. from Richmond and intermediate
7.O5 p. m. from north east and south.
BY B. ANDO
7.22 a. m. from Lexington and intermediate
points.
15O D. M from the north
800 p. m. from the north, Harper's Ferry and
intermediate points
STAR ROUTES.
7 a. M. from Plunkettsville, daily except Sun
10 a. m. from Mt. Meridian, daily except sun
5p. m. from Middlebrook. daily except sun
$50 p. m from Monterey, daily except Sunday.
1880 a m. from san eTsville.
CLOSE
FOR h. AND o.
$50 a. m. for Lexington, $50 a. m, Harper's
Ferry and points north.
2.l5 a. m. for Harrisonburg, Woodstock and
points north.
1.tO p, m for Lexington and intermediate
points.
FOR C.AND o.
a.I5 a. m. and 2i5qa m. for north. east. south.
e.0h p. II. for cast. north south and west.
2.l5 ,. nj. for Chiffon Forge and intermediate
points,,
els p NJ. for the west.
STAR RoUrEs-DAILY EXcEPT SUNDAY.
SIC a. m. for Monterey.
6.ik a. IN. for MiddlebrOok.
1.i0 p. m. for Mt. Meridian.
SIS p. m. for Plunkettsville.
I2.3 p. m. for Mt. Solon daily, -
STAUNTON OFFICE
Opens a. M, closes p. m. Money order
and registry business opens at a. M, closes &
o. W. r. McCUE. z. NJ.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1895-04-24
HoW'S
Your Liver z

Is the Oriental salutation,
knowing that good health
cannot exist without a
healthy Liver. When the
Liver is torpid the Bow
els are sluggish and con-
stipated, the food lies
in the stomach undi-
gested, pois ming the
blood; frequent headache
ensues; a feeling of lassi-
tude, dependency ard
nervousness indicate how
the whole system is de-
ranged. Simmons Liver
Regulator has been the
means of restoring more
people to health and
happiness by giving them
healthy Liver than any
agency known on earth.
It acts with extraor-
dinary power and efficacy.
NEVER BEEN pIsAPPo."
As general family remedy for dyspeps
torpid Liver, Constipation, etc., hardly ey
use anything else, and have never been d
appointed in the effect produced; 1t seems
be almost perfect cure for all diseases Of
Stomach and Bowels.
W. J. McELRoY. Macon. Ga
nov 28-1vr
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1895-04-24
Scotland.

Scotland was named from the Scott,
a tribe which had its birth innorth Ire
land. 1t was called by the natives Gale
donia, "the little country of the Gaels,
Gael properly signifying "a hidden
rover The Picts, who inhabited the
lowlands of Scotland, were painted
men,"
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1895-04-24
NOTICE.

WANT every man and woman in the United
States interested in the Opium and Whisky
eases Address B. NJ. Woolley, Atlanta, Ga.
Box 3S2, and one will be r ent you free.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1895-04-24
The Sun!
1895.
| 895


baltimore, MD.
THE PAPER OF THE PEOPLE,
For THE PEOPLE AND WITH THE PEOPLE
HONEST IN MOTIVE.
FEARLESS IN EXPRESSION.
SOUND IN PRINCIPLE.
UNSwERvING IN ITS ALLEGIANCE TO
RIGHT THEORIES AND
RIGHT PRACTICES.
THE Sun PUBLISHES ALL THE NEWS ALL THE
TIME, but it does not allow its columns to be
degraded by unclean, immoral OF purely SEN
sational matter
EDIToRIALLY, THE SUN Is THE CONSISTENT
AMI UNCHANGING CHAMPION AND DEFENDER OF
POPULAR RIGHTS AND INTERESTS against politi-
cal machines and monopolies of every charac
ter. independent in all things, extreme in
none. 1t is for good laws, good government
and good order
By mail Fifty Cents a month. Six Dollars
year.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1895-04-24
Staunto1l Spectator.
RATES OF ADVERTISING.

Advertisements are inserted at the rates OF
IA cents per line, for the first, and 6x cents
for each subsequent insertion. 80
Local Notices are inserted at the rate Of 20
cents per line for the first, and 10 cents Tor
each subsequent Insertion
BUSINESS Notices are inserted at the rate OF
70 cents ior the nrst and cents for each sub
A n6eral discount will be made on all orders
OoaSuarles, Announcements Of Candidates
for ONCE, and all communications Of a nersons
y u PI1vaee character, will be chsrged for an
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1895-04-24
THE SEAT

IdE SE.AT
Of Sick Headache is In
the stomach and tho
bowels. DR.. Pierce's
Pleasant Pellets cure it
perfectly. They regu-
late the stomach and
bowels.mildly, gently,
naturally.
With these tiny Pei
lets, the smallest made
and the pleasantest to
take, there's a peculiar
strengthening and tonic
effect on the lining
a ~
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1895-04-24

A c. BRAXTON
ATTORNEY AND COUNsELLOR.
OFFICE.-CRowLE BUGLDGNG OPPOSITE Y. NJ
L. 4.
Special attention given to corporation and
real-estate law.
Having closed up all outside business, which
for year or two Interrupted my regular law
practice, am now enabled to- and shall, from
1tllS time. give my undivided time and 5Xclu-
sive attention to the law; md to such persons
as my entrust me with their litigation. prom
ise my best efforts ana sach ability as | may
possess. ian lS-tf
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1895-04-24

vent, relieve, and permanently cure Bilious
ness, Indigestion, Constipation, Sick or Bill
ious Headaches, Sour Stomach, Dizziness.
and every liver, stomach, and bowel dis
order
They're guaranteed to give satisfaction,
or your money is returned
One of the most difficult diseases to deal
with is Catarrh Perhaps the only medicine
that will cure it, root end branch, is DIR.
Sage's Catarrh Remedy. So small is the
chance of failure that the makers guarantes
It in the worst cases.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1895-04-24
Castoria.

Castoria cures Collie, Constipation,
Sour Stomach, Diarrhpa, Eructation,
Kills Worms, gives sleep, and promotes di
gestion,
Without injurious medication.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1895-04-24
Castoria.

"Castoria isso well adapted to children that
Irecommend it as superior to any prescription
known to me-" H. A. ARCHER, N. D.,
III So. Oxford St., Brooklyn, NY.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1895-04-24

For several years have recommended
your Castoria, and shall always continue to
do so as it has invariably produced beneficial
results"
EDWIN F. PARpEE, M. D.,
125th Street and 7th Ave-, New York City.
,NPANY, n MURRAY STREET, NEW YoRK CrrY
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1895-04-25
FIND!
The Result of Years of Study
and LaDJF.

The Result OF Years of Study
r. LaDDr.
There has at last been discovered a
sure and never failing remedy 1t has
been tested on patients, who have de-
SPARED OF ever being cured: the results
have been in every case wonderful,
GroH's Rhegmatic Cure is unequaled as a
positive remedy in all cases OF Chronic
aud Acute Infammatory Rheumatism,
Gou., Lumbago, Sciatica, Neuralgia, g.
pecially Ovarian Neuralgia, Dysmenorr-
hoea and all kindred affections, 1t is
also a valuable Blood Purifier, being 80
pecially useful in Eczema, Psoriasis,
S%crofu!a, all Glandular ENGAGEMENTS,
and diseases of the Liver and the Kid
neys! 1t is absolutely free from all mar
cotics. Severe attacks are relieved in
from one To three days and a positive
cure effected in from five to eighteen
days. For sale by II. A. Peabody. Web
ster, =. d.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1895-04-25
Profit in Sheep.

Isadore Boardman, OF Highland
township, took stock Of his belong,
ings last spring and found that he
had $50 W. sheep. He sold his clip
of wool for Z cents "A pound, an ex-
tremeIy low price, and realized SO.
Besides this he sold Sl42 wor.il o:
mutton. and Ae estimates his aock
TO be worth So more than they were
a year ago. The total receipts were.
therefore. s252, or almost 81 per head.
No account was made Of this springs
lambs, although he reports that he is
having splendid lucS. Mr.. Board
man is so well satisfied with his sheep
that this year he will raise no wheat.
but will devote u considerable acrc-
acre 10 corn. aberdeen News.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1895-04-25
''SHAD."

The shad begin TO appear IN the
rivers about the 10th Of March, and
they continue 20 arrive until the
middle of June. 1t is a remarkable
fact that each colony is invariably
divided into three grand divisions,
which arrive at different times. thus
making three successive shoals, or,
as the fishermen call them, runs"
The first run is both small i'm num-
bers and especially poor in quality,
and it is interesting to observe that
this is true of the herring as well as
of the shad. This advance guard is
largely composed of what are known
as ''hickory" shad, and they differ
from the others in such a marked
degree as to form a distinct variety.
The fishermen of the Chesapeake
Bay have an un-Mosaic legend that
at the creation there were a great
many small bones left ever, and that
to dispose of them the '.hickory'' shad
was made.
A few DAYS after these skirmishers
have passed up the river, the second
or great run begins, and continues
three or four weeks. After the fish
appear, nothing will disturb their
constant upward progress except
cold weather, which, inopportunely
arriving, will cause them 70 seek the
protection of the mud at the bottom
of the river, where they remain un-
til the chill has left the water. 1t is
impossible to estimate the number of
fish entering a river in one of these
runs. The estimate of two millions
which has been made for the Della
ware IS very moderate, in view of the
fact that more than ten thousand
slIad have been taken in one haul of
the seine in the waters OF that river.
The third run is small, like the first.
and. though the fish are fine in quail
ity. il receives little attention. 1t is
probably composed of stragglers
from the main body who are some,
what tardy in their arrival. David
bruce Fitzgerald, in. May Iippincott.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1895-04-25
Two Views Of Prayer.

In accordance with a suggestion
made b. the News some weeks ago
fwhen it's in the News everyone reads
it and believes it) the churches of
the city have virtually decided to
suppiicate divine interference in be-
halt of the crops while the season Is
yet young, while most OF the seed is
vet unsown, and while the outlook
is particularly encouraging. The
movement is a commeudable one. If
by prayer a drouth-stricken crop can
be saved in any measure, how much
more easily a green and growing one
can be made to yield abundantly.
Then, as the News stated before, it
savors of a lack of confidence to wait
until everything is gone up anyway
before asking for aid; it looks as
though public and special prayer
was adopted only as a last resort. =
Aberdeen News.
But how will it be when the
prayers of which the News speaks
shall collide at the throne of grace
with the prayers of Loucksand others
of his Tx, who beseech the Almighty
to send renewed and multiplied crop
failures and general disaster in order
that the people may ''rise and crush
the competitive system? This thing
of praying by each fellow for his
own personal and selfish interest. as
he understands it, is likely to mix
things until even Omniscience could
not directly answer both of them,
any more than it could make a thing
to be and not to be at the same time.
In the meantime, those who keep
themselves in that frame of mind i'm
which they believe .He who doeth
all things well"-who Judge not
the Lord by feeble sense. but trust
him for his grace will be most likely
to secure satisfaction at ast.-Sioux
Falls Press.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1895-04-25
GRAY GOOSE CULCH.

Regular Correspondence.
Hank Caters and son Orlando de-
parted last week in a prairie schooner
for pastures new-some place in Texas.
The trip should be a successful one az
both OF them has had yards OF experience
with schooners. They carry with them
the best wishes OF this community and
a pair OF pants belonging to ye cores
pendent.
DIED-The Youngest daughter and only
child OF Rev. y. Orter, ID. d., OF listening
to her fathers sermons, aged nine years
The Trilby craze is in our midst. Last
Monday evening Mrs. Hi'Pockpt gave a
TriIby tea to her many female friends.
receiving in bare feet and Oscars militia
dress coat. After a pleasant unanimous
conversation upon the probable meaning
OF the French pages 10 DuNaurier : book.
tea, crackers and brick cheese WAS served
and the hostess sang Ben Bolt in G. The
guests departed at an Early hour carry
ing with them many kind thoughts of
the charming hostess and an odOr Of
brick cbpese.
Ii * with pleasure that we chronicle
the advent OF any new industry in the
Gulch and it is with the kernpst delight
aud unalIoyed joy that we announce the
opening OF a drugstore which viii go in
the building formerly occupied by the
GoIightly's. This means tn Keeping OF
qnfte an amount Of the Gulch money at
home.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1895-04-25

The average man either knows or
pretends to know the cause of the
low price of wheat and nearly every
one thinks he knows a remedy. To
the rabid advocate of the free coinage
of silver it is the sweetest morscl and
is rolled around his mouth with the
greatest of satisfaction. He says
that the fall of wheat and silver are
caused by a mutual affinity and that
when the white metal was demone-
tized in 1873 the bottom was forever
knocked out of wheat prices. They
not only claim this but have an array
of statistics TO prove il.
That such is the case is not true in
any sense. The fall in price Of this
great food product can be traced to
its true causes and it will be seen
that silver is not in the least respon-
sible. The chief causes in the low
price of wheat have been the adj
dition Of great areas Of fertile lands,
greatly Increased aud cheaper meth
dds Of handling and great reductions
of freight rates.
Ira the United States We have a
surplus Of wheat and to dispose of it
we must compete with India. Russia
and Argentine. The latter country
is Of great extent, fertile soil and
peopled with a thrifty race. A royal
commission appointed to investigate
the cause of the great depression of
British agriculture heard the testi-
mony of a ranch owner in the prov
enee of Santa Re, in the Argentine
Republic, in which was stated that
an Italian colonist could sell wheat
on his farm equivalent TO 33cts per
bushel. and If he could obtain 6Octs
on the London market, it would
greatly stimulate the extension of
wheat growing. 1t is thus seen that
the price of wheat is low in that
country, which is on a silver basis
and which is just beginning to
emerge from the financial clouds
caused by imitation.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1895-04-25
FARM MORTGAGES.
The First Adequate and Comprehensive
Report Ever Made on the Subject.

The First Adequate and Comprehensive
Report Ever Made on the Subject.
We begin at last really to know some
thing about farm mortgages and the
~burdening of American homes with
debt. Census bulletin No. 9S gives the
first adequate and comprehensive report
ever made on the subject, and that re-
port refutes statements that have been
made and accepted. Here are the facts
as CLEANED from the bulletin alluded to
by the New York World:
There are about 4, $50, 900 farm fam
lilies in the country. Only about 900, 600
OF them have any mortgages at all. And
these mortgages, as clearly appears,
represent for the most part energy and
thrift rather than impoverishment.
They are mortgages given for deferred
payments in purchasing land or for cap
ital borrowed to enlarge operations.
Less than 3 per cent Of all the mortgages
represent borrowing for expenses or be-
cause of poverty. The rest represent
profitable business enterprise.
This mortgage Indebtedness lies al.
LuOS5 NHOily uUihH VI tHb GDlOIutC anu
Ohio line. New York farms are mort
gagged for s13S, $50, 903. Those of Iowa
carry a burden of a little more than
500, 600, 900; those of Illinois, a trifie
less. In Pennsylvania and Kansas the
figures fall to abaut x73, 600. 900, in
Ohio to $40. 900, 600, in Michigan TO
$6i, 600, 900, in Wisconsin to S55, 0O0.-
600, in Missouri TO S53, 600, 900, in Ne
braska 10 S41, 600, 900. in California to
SAG, 600, 600, in Indiana about tho same,
in Minnesota TO $37, 600, 600, in New
Jersey to $50. 600, 600, South Dakota
els, 600, 600 and Vermont and Massa-
chusetts 81, 900, 900 each.
Among the southern states West yir-
ginia heads the list with So, GOO, 900
mortgage debt. Virginia, the two Caro-
linas and Louisiana owe between So
900, 900 and 81. 900, 900 each, Mississippi
less than 81. 600, 600, Arkansas about
~, 600, 600. Alabama and Georgia less
than 81, 600, 900 and Florida less than
81. 600. 600.