The record-union., 1895-11-30
MYSTERY OF A MAN.
The Good Man Finally Agreed to Take
Office.
Then He Rapidly Sank In the Estima-
ton of Even His Former
Friends.

l knew q man once upon time. l
have known many men and many
women, but knew this man particularly
WELL He was a dociie person. That s
why liked him. There was no ferocity
in his nature at the time of which l speak.
He was singularly charitable. he found
excuses for nearly all of humanity s
errors. Man." he would say, sis weak.
So, too. is woman
| My friend, for he was my friend, was al
most venerated by his neighbors. "He is
truly upright" they said. And it became
known all around that he was good to his
women-to his wife, his daughters, and
his female relations. When man is kind
to his women he is celebrated far and
near. good provider goeth a long way
into the untathomable recesses of the
feminine heart. None of Solomon's phil
osophy is wiser than this.
My friend was we'll received at his
bank. which proved, if anything can be
proved to the satisfaction of every body,
that he never paid any protest fees, or
had them paid for him, or had them
charged against him.
A bank, ii you come to think of it, is a
very correct barometer of the weather
conditions In the counting houses within
It's radius. Moreover, il Is an automatic
gauge of business character and rella-
bllity. You can't fool bank. Ii you
are all right you can enter boldly, cheer
July, and Will be met by sunshine and an
invitation to sit down. May be the Cashier
Will give you cigar.
However, it is different if you are not
all right or even if an intangible sus-
piclon turks within your garments. Then
bank becomes a refrigerator and you
don't go there unless you have to. and
when you do go you are cast down when
you enter ana are thrown down imme-
dlately thereafter.
This is history. If you don't believe it,
ask your nelghbor.
No higher tribute, therefore. can be paid
to the memory of my friend than to say
thst MS pank was always glad to see him.
Surely, he WAS one man in whole city.
But his virtues were many more than
have set down. He went TO church every
Sunday. He held that there were numer-
GUS paths TO heaven. He disputed no
route; he condemned no road because it
didn't happen TO be his own. He paid his
pew rent In advance.
This, let me tell you, is rare quality
among men. L really believe that it
would be an epitaph, an epitaph before
which church treasurers would stop and
read with some lamentation, Not lam en-
tation of the dead, but because but no
matter.
Furthermore, my friend was kind to
MS WorkpeopIe He knew them all by
name, and they were many. He paid
cash Tor what he bought, and gave time,
when 1t was wanted. On what he sold.
He pressed nobody. He foreclosed no
mortgages. He took no usury.
But he had his opinions. He was gentle
as ripe peach, but as hard as flint in
moral issues and his own duty as he saw
1t. lie measured himself by process as
unbeatable as steel-thick steel. He
measured everyone else in heart that
was actually overf1owing with kindness
and charity. He had no contentious.
counting it to be unwise TO argue with q
fool and unnecessary to dispute with q
wise man. When he was faced, through
no fault OF bis own, with a suit at law he
settled, holding that TO do so was far
cheaper and much more respectab BILE. He
used no bad language. If he swore he
did 1t silently. His temper was even and
amlable. especially in the morning before
he had his coffee. This, say what you
will, is the supreme test of mans atti-
tude toward man, likewise toward his
wife.
Here was gentleman. sure enough.
But his qualities-were even more. He
Jostled nobody In the street. de made
no eyes at strange women; nor at women
who were not strange. Of course he was
not boastful. He didn't talk loudly in
public places about fishing and hunting.
He wore clean linen, shaved every morn
ing, was respectful TO the aged, and made
no complaint to himself or 10 anyone
else when three women fully occupied
seat In the street car that was mad efOr
four. He obeyed the Big Consolidated
rules and didn't spit On the floor. He
never bought horse for 500 and then
foolishly imagining that he had found
trotter went forth and tried that trotter in
the public streets.
Nor was be an old fogy. He drank
mineral water for his kidneys, bou ght
each of his daughters bicycle and ali of
his sons used his raZors and wore his
neckties. If a mans boys will take his
neckties you can wager your life he is up
TO date, clear up. You can't fool the
boys any more than you can fool the
banks.
The proper development of this story
makes It necessary for me to thus elabo-
rate this unusual man. l want to make
it clear why he got into politics, or, more
accurately speaking, into public life. He
was such a conspicuous citizen, had so
exalted a character and had been so sue
cessful In his own business that the peo-
pie demanded his superior ser vices.
don't mind telling you that he lived q
long time ago and in a far distant city.
Moreover. he is dead.
\ es, the people demanded his services
people sometimes do demand the services
of such men as the man of whom I am
writing. They asked him to run Tor
Congress-. lie declined. Then they
suggested Gubernatorial honors. Again
he declined. Finally they declared that
they would nominate him for seat on
the bench. But" said be in some
alarm, II am not lawyer" The people
confessed that they hadn't thought of
that. This lack of thinking is frequent
fault with some people, don't you know.
BY and by they limited that he might
see his way clear to run for Coroner.
But he wasn't a doctor. However, the
people were bent on having him in one
capacity or some other. They brought
forward office after office-the Senate, the
House of Representatives, the County
Treasury, the Council Chambs and sew
eral others, but be refused them one
after another. Delegations waited on
him at his house and at his place of BUSH
ness. Wouldn't he run for Mayor?
Couldn't he see it to be his duty to be-
come Sheriff? etc., etc.
You can wear lion out if you go
about it in the right way. An Indian or
a white man can run a deer down and
kill him with q club. My friend, weary
almost unto impatience. yielded at last.
He surrendered to the people. And the
people?
They sent him to the Board of Educa-
ion.
The argument was made at the time
that the Board of Education stood in need
of his services. 1t needed his wisdom,
his business methods. his cheerful spirit