The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1895-06-29
HE HANGS PAPER.
Mr.. Wigglesworth's Experience at
Spring House Cleaning.

l
made into the front hall his foot rested
upon a moist cake OF soap, and In
another instant he was over by the
dining-room door with his arms around
the hat-tree and some language trailing
on behind that left coppery taste in
the atmosphere as it slowly curled up
the front stairs.
"Who left that soap ON the f1oor?" he |
yelled, as soon as he could unlock him.
self from the hat-tree.
"Why-I-I guess Mary must" STAN
mered Mrs. Wigglesworth, who had
rushed in from the kitchen with q
potato masher In her hand. We've
are cleaning house, you know"
Cleaning house!' said her husband;
"well, s'pose We are? You needn't think
you're going to use me to flop up your
moors with" Mr.. Wigglcsworth meant
to say mop up your floors. but the sud
denness of his entrance had temporarily
unhinged his tongue. Think you've
seen me advertised In the back end OF
the magazine, don't YEP" he continued,
warranted tosave labor or money re-
funded! Reckon Pm to be had OF all
grocers, s'pose, or sent prepaid on re-
ceipt of price!"
These retorts were SO keen that Mr..
Wigglesworth found his good-nature
coming back through their exercise,
and he ate dinner without grumbling
more than q man has to do ordinarily.
When he went into the sitting room he
found the carpet up and there was a
l.-J1o 80 II mar In a chair
ssWhat's this?' he shifted, suspi-
ciously.
"It's wall paper" his wife responded;
81 got it at great bargain down to
Root & Gilder's-closing out of new
spring goods just received, at less than
| cost"
| "Huhl" grunted her husband, unroll-
ind a package and holding it wrong
side up. Looks like a case OF delir-
ious trimmings"
Eyes" fluttered Mrs Wigglesworth,
"it is the new art, the man said-after
Aubrey Beardsley."
"Who's Aubrey Beardsley?" coldly
returned Mr.. Wigglesworth with q
falling infection.
"He-he is-the-the man that has
got up so many new ideas of-of art, "
Mrs. Wigglesworth explained; "they
are quite crazy over him, you know, SO
the man said"
"well, If they're any crazier than
Beardsley I pity en-" growled her
husband, dropping the roll in disgust.
"Who's going to hoist this nightmare
onto our walls?" he added.
IL want you to step in and speak
to the paperhanger on your way down,
his wife returned, timidly.
"Oh, yes, that's It'll" Mr.. Wiggles
worth snorted, teller with black
board on his shoulder and hinge II
the middle and four dollars day
and then an idea shot into Mr.. Wiggles
worth's active brain. "B'georger' h
cried, firing with it, "pll hang thi
paper myself" and he began peelint
of his coat.
"But, Ellery." his wife said, in mild
expostulation, lyon haven't had any
experience"
"Experience nothingl" retorted Mr.
Wigglesworth, whats experience go
to do with a handy man? Four dollar
a DAVIS experience enough for me, an
!, must be chump II l can't smea
some moist -four over the rear end OF
few sheets of paper and slap 'em u
!, against smooth wallr'
When Mr.. Wigglesworth had mad
up his mind to thing 1t was like tn
. French revolution, 1t had to go. L
brief time he had the hired gin
boiling some paste and Mrs. Wig
ellsworth had tied one OF her apron
about his neck, much to his DISCUS
J. She said when all nature was voca
with the melody Of spring, when bird
Is were fluting their first glad notes an
a thousand streams made music in the
tourney toward the sea, she didn't pr
= pose to have her husband going throug
the street with flour paste daubed
over his new spring clothes
y Mr.. wigglesworth opened one OF Il
% rolls of pa per, spread it out on Il
dininQ-room table and, "taking sigh
+ at the altitude of the room, cut of
y strip that appeared to be the prop
=" length. Utilizing crumb brush
spread on copiods quantity OF pas
~ and then lifted the paper by one en-
He put his arms up to their luli leng
:. but the other end of the paper still II
gered on the table.
"why don't We take hold of it?'
re said testify to his wife, who stood q
~ biously looking on.
So Mrs. Wigglesworth appraised
" other end and her husband stood II
%. chair. He reached for the border Ii
az of the wall, but fell short of 1t.
na "Why don't We go fetch a tablet"
~ angrily roared at his wife. "Tha
:. right" he shouted as Mrs. Wiggl
-, worth dropped her end OF the pal
ilo and the pasty side trailed over the ba
ICE the chair and chung about his knees
"You told me to get the table" M
on Wigglesworth protested. consideral
- abashed.
"0h, of courser' Mr.. Wiggleswol
AAS | t4ox all mt, mo n