The free press., 1895-03-07

OF a nrst'c'ass cold. To keep up
with the procession, and because
the article is obtainable without
COST, wo have been wearing one for
the past week, But now we are
more than willing to dispose of the
fashionable prize, and will throw
In valuable chrome to the indiyid.
ual who desires to rank with the
high.toned, upper~ren circle. We
can highly recommend the cold we
have, and will de scribe few of its
unrIYaleG features. For instance:
Sharp pains shoot through the en-
tire body in such manner that one
can easily imagine that he has been
transformed into a storm cloud in
which millions of lightning flashes
are at play. For a minute one is
so hot that il would prove delic-
ious treat to walk into Nebuchad-
nezzar's fiery furnace. In a mo-
ment or two the sensation changes,
and then all tho blankets and hot
drinks on this sphere would not
afford one~millionth of degree of
warmth. To cap the climax Should
you be an editor) there would be
imminent danger Of dying from a
stroke of apoplexy produced by
rage when the "devil' would howl
for copy, because sore throat and
hoarseness prevents sailor like
"cuss" words from being heard
at the distance Of a foot. The
article is guaranteed the sale is
open-doh't all bid at once.
E. 7 George, secretary, of Me.
ridan, writes as follows:
"We have the pleasure of an
nouncing that the services of the
noted Evangelist, D. L. Moody,
and the great Gospel Singer, Ira
d. Sankey, have been secured to
hold series of meetings at our
Tabernacle, from March 12 to 1S,
inclusive, aud predict that great
good will result therefrom.
Special arrangements will be
made with hotels and private board
ing houses for the accommo dation
of Visitors, and reduced rates ON all
the railroads be secured"
All esteemed contemporary makes
mention of the fact that nearsight-
ed hen, which mlstook saw dust
for corn meal, ale heartily thereof,
then laid a nest full of wooden
knobs, and in three weeks hatched
out set of parlor furniture. Next.
= Enterprise Times.
Lookout, brother Huntley. for an
increase in your mail. There are
scores and scores of would-be bene-
diets in Poplaryille who will be
anxious to purchase that remarks
able fowl.
Some one nudgcd our elbow the
other day, accompanying the action
with the interrogation: 20. Y, do
you knuw it ls lent?' The nudger
was an old friend and is due the
FREE PRESS four or five years
subscription, and his face would
have proved a bonanza to an artist
when we replied: Oh, yes; the FREE
PRESS has been lent to some peoc
pie for one, two, three, four and
five years.
We have been asked the ques.
ton, "Who made the petrified man
that was on exhibition here last
week 2" Well, we are unable to
surmise, without it was the same
artist who manufactured the Cardiff
giant, exhibited by Barnum mum.
ber of years ago. Barnum's hu-
man created norman was another
drawing card that the old gener-
alton may recollect.
Harry Beers, representing John
I. Adams & Co., Of New Orleans,
is as regular as clockwork in his
visits here, and is one of the most
popular and successful tongue
acrobats on this road. Mr.. Beers
is favorably known to every one
In this section, and were it not for his
youthful appearance we would state
what an ancient knight of the grip
he is.