Birmingham age-herald., 1895-05-19
THE LAST LAUGH.

piA NsP1Nidi dtliSlll III SGliuiiS iiC O4l wild goose chases" after big game, and enjoyed hearty laughs at my expense whenever l turned up minus. Try as I would to prevent being made their dupe my efforts always proved unavailing, as they would work the racket on me so nicely that l invariably fell into their trap.
 Of course the managing editor was always kept in the dark as to my being victimized, the boys" not daring to tell for fear of a reprimand, while 1 dared not lest 1 should be laughed at for my-gulli- bility.
 The boys" had it all their own way for time, but my turn finally came and the old adage of ..the last laugh fitted me exactly.
 It happened in this way: A plan had been laid out wherein a long run of some twenty or more blocks was to be my dose, and a murder the cause for 1t. The cops had been sated and the first rainy night was set for working the racket.
 The night longed for came. It was dandy. All the afternoon dark, fore boding clouds had been gathering over head. the weather became oppressively warm. and everything pointed to a verit- able food About o'clock the lightning began it's weird illuminations, the artil- lery of heaven was let loose, and by and by the rain began falling in great drops.
 At midnight I, being on the police as 'sgnment, went to the headquarters, and saw the incoming and outgoing patrol men report A clear docket was the re- suit and l returned to the office. The "boys" were there, each in his easy chair with paper in hand.
 Not word was spoken as l entered the sanctum dripping wet. l, too. secured a paper and made myself comfortable Nothing save the tick of the telegraph in- strument and the typewriter in the ad- joining room disturbed the stiffness of the interior and the terrific downpour on the outside was heard with painful to me) distinctness. It was night to be dreaded, and there l sat, fearing every moment that the telephone bell would ring, calling me out.
 1 read on until about ? o'clock and had finally gotten to the point where l felt at ease l looked up finally and scan- ming the faces of my colleagues noted peculiar expression on their several faces inexplicable to me at the time. Thoughts of a ''job" had passed entirely from my mind for the nonce.
 But the call came. The telephone bell rang loud and long and my heart went into my mouth. One of the boys jumped to the phone a twinkle in his eye. All were on the qui vive of anticipation.
 Hello" he cried. Yes, this is the 'Hlghflyer' office. Want Cos? Yes, he's here"
 Ye gods and little fishes-I was in for it. I went to the phone. "Hello!' cried. whats up? A murder! Where?" All in a breath. l found out what I wanted to know-only thirty-two blocks out and not a sign of a hack anywhere. had to go and so did. The parting ex- elamations of sorrow from the boys did not relieve me of any of the pending dis agreeable journey. Still I never dreamed of a put up job"
 l went to the locality and sure enough, not cop was to be seen anywhere. Look as I would there was nothing visible. Then too truly did I realize that l was again duped
 Sick at heart and vowing vengeance on the boys" l turned back toward the sanctum. Hardly had I gone block when three shots rang out on the air and a heart-rending shriek followed. l stopped. Again the shriek rang out, and l plunged through mud and water to the scene from whence the cries of distress came It was a murder-deep-dyed and evidently premeditated.
 Arriving at the house from whence came the ominous sounds I rushed on to the porch, burst in the door, and there in room beheld a woman in negligee, on her knees pulling her hair and shrieking at the top of her voice.
 On the bed in undress was the figure of a man, his life blood flowing from an ugly WOuIu III HIS IlkJHu DIedSl 4NOlIlD6 could be gained from the woman, who was already insane from grief and fright.
 Being well acquainted with the locality I rushed out and went for physician who lived near by. I rang his night bell long and finally he answered I told him hurriedly what had happened and he proceeded to dress at once. Going to the phone I called up the office. I was an- swered by the city editor.
 Hold for a two-column murder" I cried
 "What are you giving us?" was his answer. Gle was in the game of the "boys')
 straight goods" I answered. "Teu the boys I'll have my laugh when l see them, and by the way suppose you send one of them to 616 Carondelet avenue, as I may need him"
 "All right" he answered.; "but don't lag; rush what you can over the phone and we'll make an extra edition for you.
 The doctor was ready by this time, and, plunging into the downpouring rain, we returned to the home of misery and almost death. Arriving there, the doctor examined the wounded man. and said: NO hope; he's goner! The man rallied for time sufficiently to say that a man lof whom he gave vivid descrip- tion and also told his name) had come to the window, opened the blinds and at tempted to raise the window; how the noise awakened him, and, raising up and seeing the man. called to him by name E and ordered him away, whereupon the man fired, the bullet striking home. He also said that he fired two shots from his revolver at the would-be-burglar. E The exertion proved too much for the wounded man, causing a hemorrhage, from which he shortly after expired.
 By this time one of the "boys'' arrived, and, giving him what details l had at hand and winding up with the word ' s1nore." rushed him off to the office.
 Notwithstanding the fact that I was in the presence of death a feeling inde- scribable came over me. and I thought of the "put-up job which had proven sba means of my securing the .jtemn of