Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1895-01-04
EFFECTIVE ALARMS.
THE RETIRED BURGLAR TELLS or
 AM ANNOYING EXPERIENCE.


 ue Encountered Most Remarkable sys.
 tenn Of Buraiar Alaraa in 3 Hoese With
 Unlocked Doors-Eeils, Tin Pans and
 Baseban I,at -The Explanation.
 t0no night Iate, said the retired burglar, T went into house ill Q vii lage in western Connecticut entering hy cellar window. a5 usually did when was late, so IS not to disturb the folks. l looked around the cellar and located the stairs and started up. About three-quartors of the way ID rope that was stretched across caught me under the chin and toppled me over down stairs. There was only the stone wall of the cellar on one side and no rail on the ether, 50 there was nothing to grab to. and just tumbled down As bumped uiang something scattered along down with me, Whang- banging down the steps over mo and under me and around ne, chasing me all the way down, and when finally got to the eel lar bottom that thing was lying across ny chest ItHas the eeal shovel, which had evidently been stood up against the rope aud which l had jarred loose.
 .s!}at tho worst thing of all Was tfit my lamp waa broke l lost my jimmy on the way down, but 1 hung on to my lamp, but now the light was out and tho glass was broke. and tho slide Was iaml0sl around in fI0at. and l eoqld not turn it. felt around till found my jimmy, and then l waited to see if I'd woke anybody up. ] didn't hear anybody, and so l started again, and this time 1 felt niy way up the stairs carefully to the door. l found it unlock cd, and l had got l5 open aboutaA inch, I should think, when heard a little bit of q scraping on the other side, and the next instant the dreadfulest racket that anybody ever heard, the falling of [ dishpan that must have been hanging on tho other side on the doorlHob or tho key. aud at tho samo time what imagine must have been the potato masher-I don [ know, because l difin [ look for it--dropped from tho top of the deer upon my head.
 ssIhis door to the cellar opened from D little square hall CT oitry way that had, $ I learned by feeling a door to tho left, to the kitchen, suppose, and ono to the right, l guessed, into the front hall. l waited again, but no sound from up stairs, so turned to tho right and opened that door and stumbled tho first thing over q chair close by ill th9 hall and almost broke my shins. l fel5 along aHd found q TOW of chairs stand- ing elosa together from that door cleaa to the 1f6nr ji651 sat down in che of tEeln and nursed my shin and waited. Still no sound, and 1 tried again. and get along all right this time, and turned of to tho left and into the parlor, and back from that into the dining room, for q wonder without falling over any thing, and l began to feel encouraged. But in the dining room there was neth- ing but plated spoons and forks, which of course ! could tell by the touch just as well as though I'd had an electric light. If they had any silver, they had carried it up stairs, as some people do ct night
 "I turned back into the hall and. groped ny way through that TOW of chairs to hefootof the stairs. To make sure of the first sep in the dark I step ped high and stepped into .pan of Wa ter on the bottom step. That made ma mad, but l didn't make any noise, and I stepped out of it and started on up At about the third step my leg struck a string that was strpng across these stairs and set bell a.ringing that was hang ing on it, and kicking that string start ed down OH me from above shower of pio plates, and presently l fell over 2 wash boiler that had been set OH the stairs step or two ID and brought that down on me.
 As I was iloundering around in this tinware aud string and bells and things I heard children $ voices up stairs, and minute later I heard steps in the hall above, and l could sec in the blaekness up thore the white of a nightgoWn at tho head of the stairs. Then something came slamming against the banisters, hitting me as it rattled down and final ly landing with great bang on the  floor among the chairs in the hall. Ths minute ho threw t, whoever lie was, he ran, and l began to think it was about timo for me to go too Ihad freed myself from the ballcord by this time, and l got down the stairs and into the hall again, and there this timoI step ped on a baseball bat-that was what had como banging down at mo from above-that rolled out from under mo and upset me once more among those chairs.
 l got up and opened tho front door it wasn't lcclea-and got out on the piazza Before l had got to tho top front step heald horn blowing from an up stairs window st tine side of the honsn ana an instant later a shat from revolver and a big boll ringing. There was late moon just rising and liteIe light now, and a5I went away l looked back and saw three children all in white, all leaning ont of one window on the second story. On one side there was ! loy of si7out fl, as Ishould guess by that light, firing pistol Ha vas tho boy, no donht. that had thrown the baseball Lat. On taa other side was his younger brother with t good pair of lans.s blowing a iisah0rn abopt as long