Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1895-01-20
IT HAS A DARK SIDE.
The ldltr Says Society Isn't What It's
Cracked Up 10 Be.
MUST KEEP YOUR SHOES SHINED.
When Appetite Calls We Must Obey
What the Market Reports Say
About Provisions.

sugar Bottom; but, Oh, dear friends,
there are times when this butterfly ex-
istence pals upon ne and when my
sAuzy wings become weary with these
I social fui,er!ngs around the puach-bowl
and tho sdiad-dsh. There are moments
when the scaly neck ana the whitewashei
features OF the superannuated belle arouse
not my admiration for the beautiful, and
when aw4klng 10 a sense Of duty | realize
that the pockets Of my dress-su.t are
n.lel with bills. OFT ana DER again. amid
/ the perfumes OF the roses and the qu.ver-
ins strains of the string band (who are
kept hidden in order that ID one may
| murder them for the music they proluce
! / ind myself counting the days when the
/ statute Of limitation VIII begin u run
! on certain accounts. Many and many q
! tline when all was merry I have felt the
| winters chill az IL Ste1lthly crept up
J ny dJeSk!n trCusf Is, or stole into my
| snowy bosom and often have / gone nome
| atter a collation. - know that | should
"coila,e" no more until | got another
| did, Then ths duties incident q up
| holding your position On the upper crust
/ are sometimes ou-ilus In the extreme.
/ This thing az making your lie an eX-
/ ample for Otlcrs Will 30 very Wail for
/ G"orgc Washington aul pc pie who sIc-
| cod n carving their initials on history
: but wnat glory shsI / ever g-t oGt of
, ~ When 1 am dead aul gone ami the
/ immortcllc5 have wlthCrel ON my tomb.
folks VIII forget me. and not even my
! cp.t1ph. engraye on Il recherche -0'nb-
s ne will bring me back % mind, unless.
/ perhaps. some fellow 7lys: ooh! here's
/ thI, du0cr that owed me 81
GENERALLY try to meet ny social duties
: hfuyely. J shave once evrry fortnight; l
/ TIt slyc'r.1e 90 my hands ia cold wea-
thcr, snub people vino are not in my
4 set, ami in anneNng my signature /
write my middle name In ful, and my
/ iiist with only an initial o.. Cornelius
/ Mugsns for example,. bat there is one
! function | cannot invariably peif0rm !
, hate 10 blacken ny shoes. | feel that
/ my dignity rises above this. sometime
| when friends invite me- ont, / Gp not
mind shining the toes. bur, gen;l meu.
I never polish the her.s. That's asklr., too
! much OF me. l would be encroachirs on
! the territory OF the c1l0rad brother, and
/ wasting energy on "A useless undertaking.
few days AGO a transaction connected
with this very performance embttarcd
B my father against me. and made him
! dospsn me for moment. H. doesn't
/ like % polish boots eth r. IN fact. as y
! general thing wears uatent-l .athcrs 70
! avoid it-b.t on "A recent occasion be-
! couldn't ind his euam He'd toJtlpich-.
| ana so he decided 80 don plain pair OF
! caif-sSius. lie went To- tte family shoe
/ pie, where the household f,o-e-ar has
assumed pyramdal marni,uie. and So
/ iccted two conely-lookins shoes. These
| he polished with a degree of skill that
| caused his reelection t. shine therein.
} tti afrftF To B. q.
! pat them on. Observing with disgust that
| th were TOO small for him. he said
I bitterly: why have BACKED your shoes
! by mistake" Thank you. SIR" | said.
I with dignity (chuckiing internally. but
! afraid II crack a smile)-and he looked a.
.A>ne as If he could have been guilty of
! murder.
DUring thes, hard times, when tho
! nci2hbors are doremct in their duty %
| throwing the debris OF their meals over
| my backyard fence. | find that it is no
! easy matter t. obtain the requisite
/ amount Of food to sustain my ch rli.G
| appearance. You cannot got blood ont
! Of a turuip; neither can ycu get "a square
! meal out OF It when there is only one
! trrnip ana several pairs of eNuectaut
! uss await its demolition. And 50, too
| although y0u can max, 4 TURKEY last
!
on the fourth and thereby have the
! marrow from his bones properly utilized
! You can go no further. uuic.s you cln
/ possibly negotiate with n jInE-shop for
Z IN. sale OF SAID turkeys Oseifr remains
! S1adoW-soup may IN the aching voiI for
! ono day, but on the next you feel that
| something u missing in your young lite
| and that living on love must be an
! awful test Of affection. True. You can
! dine with your relatives Wnless they are
! as poor as you. or you can brighten the
| lree-luuch counter wiki your melancholy
/ smiles. but the time will surely come
! when unsympathctc humanity viii ct
! "outo" yo.r curves. and then you'll have
! 10 eat atmosphere. Imagination can sup
| ply a woudrous lot Of needed things, but
| iis notes always 80 - protest when
| drawn in favor o. appetite. You can
| fool al men sOmetimts. but you can't
! fool all men an the timc-nelther can you
! ever fool your appetite. II IS like your
| impoverished relatiyes-always with you.
! fL.hful even unto delth. When your
! appetite finds that It's love is not uuro-
! ouit,l. It Is the dearest friend You have,
/ but when its outbursts Of affection are
/ received with coldnos5, It becomes your
/ deadly enemy.
! l:eing myself possessed of IN appetite
/ which IS entirely disprop0riionate with
! tho rest Of my dimensions. | know where
| OF I speak, and my remarks Gt being
! near the hour we used & have dinneD
! are uttered I'm no idle spirit Of fri.oilty.
| IN fact. I am all reverence for the sub
| ject under discussion, and | would fa,a
! make 4 Yotive Of ring o. Il. Since the
| wolf has been bowling around my doors
! / have exercised all the ingenuity in my
! composition T. make both ends meet
! Gladly would 1 throw a little Re Riding
! Hood ard two or three extra grandma5
| 10 this wolf If he would cease the dis
| t,rbauces which affect me internally:
have studied the market reports for
| days, trying 10 see if rations hadn't been
| reduced IN price. but. 10 tell the truth
| | can't make head or tails out Of the
| publications. The New York Produce
| Exchange says in its statement:
Beef-Dull and unchanged: beef hams
! quiet at A7oo. tl-rced beef dull.
| Peanuts-i,asy
March. a3.N4l3@; MAY. <l3G- l3S): Sep
| t-mber. Sl3.1JUI3.sO: Dec mltr, SEQ.
Spot steady hJt dull.
| Sugar-Ro fined dun but steady; fair re-
! fn.ng, =. &C.; centrifugals. 50 test, Sc. Re
| fined dull.
| Now. what in the name Of goodness
IS the use OF putting on all those frlis
in giving the status OF the market. Tall.
| about beef being "dull. unchanged"
| WITH the hunger I've got on me at this
stage OF the game, l wouldn't give =
| continental whether the beef was in
| t5ilectual or hopeleasly duh: neither
would / care whether the hams kept
| quiet or danced a regular cot,llon on
! our table. In summer 1 never try 10
| keep ham quiet, anyhOW-that Is, | don't
| believe In putting too much restraint
| on 1t.
| Then the report goes on to say that
| peanuts are easy" and that coffee is
| STEADY" That's well enough. / have
! always found COOLERS quite easy-foiae
| dn fact. they disappear with facility
! when ! am arounD. and coffee couldn't
| BE- anything else but steady. That's the
| business OK 4 temperance drink. Now
| there would be some excuse for whiskey
| not being steady, just a. there IS some
| excuse FOR the unsteadiness OF the fel-
| low who is lucky enough 10 find some OF
| II 20 drink. Then. again. the report adds:
| "SUga%Refined duh, but steady" etc.
| After a man has been using sorghum in
his coffee as have done for weeks, Ie