The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1895-09-26

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Friend-YOur son. | understand, has
literary aspirations. Does he write for
money? Father feelingly)-Unceasing-
l~y.--Judge.
Waiter-Will you have spinach to-
day, sir? Guest-Yes. but | don't want
it so spunky as it was yesterday. Bring
me some with no sand in it.-Boston
Transcript.
Banks-Let's go. Rivers. -Four acts Of
this is about all can stand. Rivers
Let's sit it out, Banks. Seven Of the
characters are killed off in the next act.
Chicago Tribune.
The Wife-You are a fool. The Hus-
band-I know it. Anybody but a fool
would have known enough to accept
your first rejection of my proposal as
final.-Syracuse Post.
Sub-editOr-How is Pennington on
spelling, anyway? Editor-Well, he's a
little too quaint for ordinary English,
and not quaint enough for dialect
Somerville Journal.
what became of that trifling fellow.
Tweedles? ooh, he went west and op-
ened a store" Doing well?" mo;
doing time. He was caught in the
act."--Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
Small Margery had just been stung
by a wasp. 81 wouldn't a-minded its
walking all owe my hand" she said,
between her sobs, "if-if it hadn't sat
down so hard."-New York Evening
Sun.
Are you very busy "No, sir.
What can we do for you:" Il notice
that the advertisement on the window
says you have 10000 overcoats for sale.
Can | try them On:"-Fliegende Blaet-
ter.
Editors Wife-Who wrote this beau
tiful article on How to Manage a
Wife," Editor-Young CUTLER. Edi-
tors Wife-Why. / didn't know he was
married. Editor-He isn't.-Philadel-
phia Record.
College Freshman-Don't you enjoy
the study of astronomy? High School
Girl-Oh, it's delightful! And l do
think the constellation of O'Brien is
just too lovely for anything; don't you?
-SOmerville Journal.
Biggs-I see Jiggs has been married.
Suppose congratulations are in order?
Miggs-Well, l don't know his bride,
so l can't congratulate him, and l do
know him, so l can't congratulate her.
New York Herald.
She read: LET life be one grand, sweet
song
And then like IL first-class dOlt,
She worried the neighbors all day long
By practicing old Ben Bolt
Louisville COurier-JOurnal.
Horse Dealer-YOu had better buy
the horse, colonel. You will never find
a healthier animal. Colonel Jones-l
believe it. If he hadn't been healthy
all his life he never would have lived
so lOng.-Tammany Times.
BjOnes Ito Brown, who is vigorously
tanning himself)-HellO, old man. Try
ing to keep cool? BrOwn-NO; I'm trav-
cling through Greenland looking for
Peary. Haven't an extra sealskin about
you, have you?-Pittsburg Dispatch.
Little Ethel horrified)-We've inyit-
ed too many children to Il tea (party.
There isn't enough for. them to get
more than a bite each. Little Dot ire
signedly)-That's too bad. Well have
to cali it a receptiOn.-New York Jour
nal.
"You know that although I wealthy
man, l never drink, smoke, gamble or
swear-that l am perfectly exemplary.
Then why do you refuse me-" You
certainly could not ask me to become
the manager of a freak.'-Harper's Ba-
Ear.
Father" said the New Hampshire
boy, II want to go to town to see the
tally-ho parade" Never mind the town
tally-hO, Ephraim," said Farmer Grub
Der. "We'll have a home show. You
hoe the corn and I'll keep tally."-LOw-
ell Courier.
II wonder why Cupid Is always rep
resented as q little boy. A boy couldn't
be such an unerring shot as Gu"
Couldn't he? Say, did you ever have
O small boy and q catapult get O spite
against one Of your windOws|'-New
York Recorder.
II wish we were rich, John, and could
do something for the world" Mrs. B.
remarked half devoutly, half impa-
tiently. But. my DEAR" he replied,
tive can do good in a quiet way now"
"Yes: but no one will ever hear Of it."
Chicago Times-Herald.
II have been almost a hermit" sigh
ed the successful man. NOW that my
fortune is made, and I have a little time
Of my own, l find it impossible to get
in touch with the world" "YOu ought
to get a bicycle" suggested his friend.
indianapolis Journal.