The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1895-07-03
A DOLLS FUNERAL.
"1'n ten you what-let's play funeral. +"

"well, we can play that my Josephine
Maud Angelina dolly died, and that we
buried her"
THAT will be splendid. Let's have her
die at once"
Immediately after the death Of Jose
phine Maud Angelina her grief stricken
mother said:
Now, Katie, we must put Grape on the
doorknob to let folks know about 1t, You
run over to our house and get the long
black veil mamma wore when she was In
morning for grandpa"
Katie went away and soon returned
with long black mourning veil. 1t was
quickly tied to Mrs. Stoner's front door
bell. Then the bereft Dorotby's grief
broke out afresh, and she walled and wept
so vigorously that Mrs. Stoner put her
head out of an upper window and said
"You little girls are making too much
noise down there. Mr.. Stoner's Ill, and
you disturb him. 1 think you'd better
run home and play now My husband
wants to go to sleep"
"How unfeelingl" said Dorothy, snatch
ing up the dead doll and her other
playthings, while Katie gathered together
her possessions. They departed, switch
ing their skirts petulantly. They quite
forgot to take the veil off the doorknob
Half an hour after Maria Simmons came
down the street and suddenly stopped in
front of the Stoners' house
Good heavens!" she said "If there
amt Grape on the Stoners' doorknobl
Poor Sam Stonerl knew ho was i'll, but
I'd no idea he was at all dangerous.
must stop on my way homo and find out
about it"
She would have stopped then II it had
not been for her eagerness to carry the
news to those who might not have heard
It. A little farther on she met an ao-
quaintanoe.
"Ain't heard bout the trouble up at
the Stoners, have your" she asked.
"What troubleP"
"Sam Stoner is dead. There's Grape en-
the doorknob. was in there yesterday,
and Sam was up and round the house, but
could see that he was good deal worse
than he or his wife had any idea of, and
amt much s'prised."
MY goodness mel l must find time to
call there before night.
Mrs. Simmons stopped at the village
postoffice, ostensibly to ask for letter,
but really to impart her information to
Dan Wales, the talkative old postmaster.
| Heard bout Sam Stoner2" she asked
| NO' ulu near uo was BEuutlllR rOuuu
q little, butt
HE won't grunt no more, - said Mrs.
| Simmons solemnly. Hes dead"
"How you talk"
Its right There's Grape on the door"
Must have been dreadful suddenl Mrs.
Stoner was here last evening, an she reck-
oned he'd be out in a day or two well as
ever"
II know. But he amt been we'll for
long time. 1 could see it If Others
couldn't"
well, well! I'll go round to the house
soon as my Matte comes home from school
to mind the office"
The news was spreading now from an
other source, and in a way that caused
those who heard it to declare that it was
perfectly scand' lous" for Mrs. Stoner to
carry on so."
Job Higley, the grocer's assistant, re-
turned from leaving some things at the
house full Of indignation.
THAT Mrs. Stoner amt no more feelin
than lamppost," said Job Indignantly
to his employer. There's Grape on the
doorknob for poor Sam Stoner, an when
left the groceries Mrs. Stoner was cooking
. joint cool as a cowcumber an singin
'Ridin on Load Of Hay loud as she
could screech, an when said was sorry
bout Sam she just laughed an said she
thought Sam was all right, an then If she
didn't 60 to jokin me bout Tidy Hop
kinsl"
Old Mrs. Peevy come home with an
equally scandalous tale.
II went over to the Stoners soon as
heerd bout poor SAM" she said, IAN II
you'll b'lieve me there was Mrs. Stouer
hangin out clothes in the back yard. I
went round to where she was, an she says
Jest as fippant as ever: Mercy Mrs
Peevy, where'd you drop down fromf'
II felt so s'prised an disgusted that I
says, Mrs Stoner, this is a mighty SOL
emn thing, an II she didn't just look at
me an laugh, with the Grape for poor Sam
danglin from the front door bell knob,
an she says: I don't see nothin very SOL
emn bout washin an hangin out some
o. Sans old shirts an underwear that he II
never wear agin. I'm goin to fork 'em
up into carpet rags If they amt too far
gone for even that
Mrs. Stoner,' says I, the neighbors
will talk dreadfully If you amt more
careful, an she got real angry an said II
the neighbors would attend to their bust
ueSS sno u dJUenu 10 nerS. Uurneu an
left without even goin into the house,
The Carbury Weekly Star, the only pa
per in the village, came out two hours
later with this announcement:
"We stop our press to announce the un-
expected demise of our highly respected
fellow citizen, Mr.. Samuel Stoner, this
afternoon. A more extended notice will
appear next week" F"
Unexpected / should say so" said
Mr.. Samuel Stoner in growing rath and
amazement as he read this announce
ment in the paper. "A more extended
notice next weekl III write that notice
myself. I'll extend 1t far enough to let
that editor know what 1 think of him.
mp
But how did this Grape get on the front
doorS' interrupted Mrs. Stoner. ~ found
1t there when l went out to get the paper.
1t Is the strangest thing, and I-there's
the minister coming in at the gate Do
calm down, Sam. He's coming to make
arrangements for the funeral, suppose.
How ridiculousp'
Mr.. Havens, the minister, was surpris-
ed when Mr. Stoner himself openad the