davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16
peafness CANNOT be- Cured

BY local applications. as they cannot reach
thediseased portion of theear. There is only
one way 20 cure Deafness. and that is By con
stitutiOnal remedies. Deafness is caused by
an infa ned condition of the mucous lining
of tie + 'stachian Tube. When this tube
gets inhaned You have rum bling Sound or
imperfect hearing. and when it is entirely
closed Deafness is the result, and unless the
Inflammation can be taken out and this tube
restored 70 its ormal condition, hearing WIZ
be destroyed forever: nine cases out of ten
are caused by catarrf. which is nothing but
an infamei condition of the mucous sur
faces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any
case of Deafness caused by catarrhl that
cannot be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure.
Send for circulars, free.
T. J. CHENEY & Co, Toledo, y.
- Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Han s Family Pills, - cents.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16
GRAMMATICAL "oEcEPIIoNs.

s-I-ve had horrid time az school,
Said Timmv, with whine;
"And / don't want 20 go any more
To Miss Virginia Pine
s'Twas 'plurlls- in the grammar book;
Just 'est-cats. and 'hirt-birds'
who wants % study half an hour
on little bits Q words:
s-Say, ma, is grammar any Eoodf
We stood up % recite,
And everybody laughed because
didn't get things right
81 thought I'd do Just like the rest
And Billy said 'man-meu,
So when Miss Pine put Tan % ne
piped right up. 'faa-fen.
Tooth came 70 Fanny Smith. she said
The plural form was teeth:
Say. ma. what made en- gigyie 50
Because said 'booth-beethT
- Goose said the teacher. and correct
When Susie answered geese
Moose was the next word. and s'posed
Twas right 20 call il -meese-'
- word that came - Joey sims
Was foot AMI ne said feet
And then Miss Pine laughed right out loud
Because I said 'boot-5eet'
But they AL iaughed the hardest when.
Cause Jimmy said -mOnse-mice,'
kinder stammered over house.
And said guessed twas 'hice.'
-wheu all the rest were marked with I.
II only got 3.
And don't see why these queer words
Should all have come 20 ne.
IF Id studied. teacher said.
'COrdin' u her directions.
I would found little list
Of what theycau 'deceptians'
-well. thraShed Jimmy after school:
But Billy. he thrashed me
Say. ma. don { make me 20 no more:
'Taint no use. can see
Atlanta Constitution
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16
HOW HE WAS USED.
The woeful Tale of an Obliging Touns
Gothamite.

The woeful Tale of Obliging Touns
Gothamite.
boarded a Sixth avenue IL train at
l25th street the other afternoon. At
1l6th street two pretty girls, ingenious
looking, entered the car | occupied.
After looking around in a sort of
where-are- we-at way for a moment
they came to the section where / was
sitting, riding backward. My vis-a-vis
was an old lady. One ingeuue sat be-
side me, the other beside the old lady.
Before had time to offer my seat
the one beside the old lady asked:
Won't you please change seats with
me. sir?''
Certainly. was about to offer it
to you," said.
''Oh. thank YOU"
After riding as far as 1O4th street,
she jumped up and exclaimed, with a
peachblow pout:
"oh. / can't ride Backward Won't
you change again, sir?'
with pleasure" said l.
Sorry to trouble you, SIR"
Don't mention it. l could keep this
up all day"
Have you the time?" she asked, in a
few moments. leaning toward me, not
half far enough.
"My watch is stopped, out I'll just
step of at Ninety-third street station,
tell the conductor TO hold the train a
moment and look at the station clock, !"
said
And l did as had promised
Seven minutes past three" ! said
on my return.
Are you sure that clock is right?"
IL presume so, but to make sure I'll
open the window and ask the ticket
chopper" said.
This / did also.
She nodded her pretty little head and
smiled bewitchingly.
How long does it take to go down
to Forty-second street?" sweetly asked
the ingenue in moment.
About twenty-five minutes.
I'VE want to catch a train at the
Grand Central at $40. Do you think
we can do it?'
II should think so, If you take Gao
at the station"
Those horrid csbsl / don't like
'em. Do you, Mollie?"
No. Mollie didn't either Mollie
asked in her NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
cattenish voice;
How much DO they charge, do you
know"
about fifty cents apiece. Perhaps
they'll take you both for seventy
FIVE"
How far do you 30, sir9'
Il
You couldn't get off at Forry-second
I suppose. and help US with our traps
into cab?'
ooh, certainly. have all day to my
self. i only work at night"
"well-how's that? Are you an
actor?"
"No, am newspaper man"
"A reporter
Copy reader"
whats that?'' came from both pref
ty mouths stimuli -areously.
/ explained.
Forty -secondr' cried the conductor.
'Oh. here's whore we get of, sir.
/ VIII you kindly"
.'5indly." carried their traps
| down stairs. hailed cab. asked what
/ the fare was. Seventy-fve cents
Both opeued their pocketbooks. Meth
er had change. Jehu had none either.
/ was asked il l had. I gave up the
| last three ouarser had. saluted and
started TO walk 70 the Office. jest then
/ heard one sweet ingenue say 70 the
/ other indignantly:
strikes me he's rather fresh on frs;
acquaintance. ~. \. Herald
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16
The Prngress of Road Reform.

The advantages of wide tires, for
both the team and the road, are
thoroughly demonstrated. To by law
compel the adoption of wire tires is diff
ficult because of the danger of injustice
or hardship to individuals. The Penn
sylvania house of representatives has
passed bill that aims to bring about
this result so gradually that there can
be little objection TO the measure.
Other legislation in behalf of good
roads is on the docket in several states.
but most important is il to entirely
abolish the system of paying ones road
taxes by work on the roads. This
wasteful practice has prevented good
roads wherever permitted, because
such slipshod methods can never build
or maintain good roads.-orange Judd
Farmer,
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16
HE LOVES HIS WORK.
Mr.. Thomas w. Smile, Uncle
Sans Chief Photographer.
Some of the Wonders Contained In the
Camera shop OF the Smithsonian
Institution What viii Be
Done In the Future.
TSnecial WASHINGTON Letter.l

One Of the most interesting as well
as important branches of the Smith
sonian institution is the Photographic
establishment, which was organized
many years ago with view of collect
ing and disseminating valuable infor-
nation in the art of photography
among scientists and inventors and to
develop that art among scientific insti-
tutions The establishment has lately
grown into national prominence on ac-
count of the wide scope and character
of its work. The chief photographer is
Mr.. Thomas w. Smillie. who for TWEEN
ty-six years has held the position. He
Is a Scotchman of five-and-fifty years
He is tall and slim, with pale features
His mustache is light and SO is his hair,
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16

When the trees bloom and the fruit
is first formed, the grower can easily
form an opinion in regard to picking
off portion, should the tree show in
dications Of being well laden. 1t is
better to pick off the fruit not desired
while it is very small, so as TO tax the
vitality of the tree as little as possible.
1t will enable the tree to grow larger
and better fruir by thinning out should
there bs appearance of heavy bearing,
and thus avoid propping the limbs
later OIL Spraying should begin as
early as the season permits, and il
should be done IS often as the oppor-
tunity presents for so doing.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16
FARM AND GARDEN.
TRANSPLANTING TREES.
How to Handle Them After They Have
Been Properly Dug About.

How to Handle Them After They Have
Been Properly Dug About.
From the fact that so many trans
planted trees either die outright or
drag along miserable existence for a
year or two, it would appear that there
Is widespread miscenception as to
the proper care 70 he exercised in trans
planting. II is a common practice to
tear tree up somewhat roughly,
breaking off the fine roots that are the
most needed by the tree, and cutting
off the big roots. because it is too much
work to follow them out TO their tips
and then to attempt to eqaalize
matters by savagely cutting off the
branches, leaving little but the stem
Of the tree. and even that usually has it
stop cut off! This seems to me consider
ably like taking out one of mans
lungs because his supply of air IS to be
cut off presently! judicious pruning
Of transplanted tree is all right and
proper, but such slaughter as is usu-
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16
Highest of all in Leayening Power-Laet Us Govt Report
R9H!a!l! Rskii'g
ABSOLUTELY PURE
Piscine Lore.

It is to be noted that Shakespeare
thrice alludes to the leviathan, and ten
times directly TO the whale. twice %
the shrimp and some eight times TO
the herring-(' Here comes Romeo
without his roe, like dried herring"
and, therefore, lacking the better
part, twice to minnows, once to mack
erel, once to the sole with pun
and to fsh generically many times,
Once We hear of mussels-differently
spelled-to wit, when Prospero SAYS:
Thy food shall be the fresh brook
muscles" In the same play Celibau
exclaims: ''rn fish for thee. I'll get
thee young scamels 0impetsl from the
rock. Magazine.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16

slxittish about Jim Bill. I'll bet you
he's got notions Uncle Silas said; and
time justified the wager.
When Jim Bill was elected school
agent. three OF his notions came to
light at once. He hired a girl from
the Scottaway normal school to teach
the winter term. which he caused to
begin in September instead of Decem-
Der; he padloczed the schOolhouse
door; and he told the boys that he
wouldn't have any orgy going on
there"
Powder House Corner boys had al
wavs held down their seats from mid
night SUNDAY until Monday morning.
AS hoy. Jim Bin himself had helped
to make the flOnr sickening mass OF
pie-srustS. tOurhnut fragments and
appie-cores by the time the teacher
came. Nothing hut audacity and
cleverness could Eave enabled him to
carry ont this reform.
When the teacher opened the door
Monday morning She found one boy
sitting quietly in the corner back seat
the most coveted place on the boys
side OF the room When she went
home to dinner she told Jim Bill about
this one boy who had succeeded in vio-
lating his edict.
He was a rather tall boy she said;
thirteen or fourteen years old"
.Light-comPlected and freckled?"
asked Mrs Jim Bill Was he kind of
lathy. foxy-loolung?'
Jim Bill put down his knife and fork,
and looked at Miss IIannaford as if he
would take in her answer by sight as
well as sound Yes" answered the
teacher. that is inst the sort of boy
he was"
''Jim Sine he calculated.
Mrs Jim BilI nodded and helped her
self to turnip.
He gave that name" said Miss Han
naford. hesitatiugly, and the children
called him -. II seemed queer
Jim Bill laughed as he turned to his
corned beef again Twas really inn
pudence, hi, giving you that name
His mother i Simon NasOn's widow,
but there's 50 many Nasons round here
that she's generally called the Widow
Simon. aud he's Jun Slime, same's I'm
Jim BiIl because my father was Viii
liam Mason. Some call Jim Shines
mother EvangeIine Tukey-her name
before she was married.
"How DO You Sposc he got in? Wasn't
any glass broken. nor anything, was
there?- he asked, turning toward Miss
Hanna ford.
II saw nothing out of order. Ididn' I
find out how he got in"
Jim Bill drew long breath. Ellis
mothers into that. somehow" he said,
thoughtfuIly. land I'll find out before
give il mp. too lie went over To the
schocIhouSe before dark. but careful
examination did not reveal how the
bow got IN.
'Ill Law low he said to the teacher.
It'll out some time-murder always
does. But I'm afraid 'Nangy Is after
me"
Miss Hannaford heard more about
the Widow Simon at supper. She had
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16

~ ne devil take The hindmost' is a
proverbial saying, having its origin in
Spain. According to Spanish legend
the devil had a school OF magic at To-
ledo. and. at the conclusion of the term
of instruction, there was a race of the
graduates To get away, the entire class
being pursued by the devil. who was
entitled to the soul of the last in the
procession. According to the story,
tn, one thus overtaken was destined
TO b famous magician. and several
of the most noted sorcerers of medi-
eval times were supposed to have been
thus overtaken in the race from the
Toledo institute.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16

That leads to health are married in the
memory of those who, atregnlar ~ ; and
persistently. have been conveyed tnIther by
HOstetter's Stomach Bitters, a potent aux
iliary of nature in her efforts TO throw of
the woke of disease. Malarial. kidney,
rheumatic and bilious trouble, constipation
and Nervousness take thelr departure when
this bengnant medicine is resorted to for
their eradication.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16

MAY 2lst and June 18th The Missouri.
Kansas a. Texas Railway viii sell tickets at
one fare for the round trip, to points in
Texas, Lake Charles, La, and Eddy and
Roswell, n. NJ, tickets good returning
twenty days from date of sale For fur
Their information address Fl. A. CnERRIEK.
3l6 Marquette Bldg, Chicago, III.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16

"A man who understands nothing of
agriculture. of trade, of human nature,
of past history. of The principles of law
cannot pretend to be more than mere
empiric in political legislation.-F. w.
Robertson.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16
ofaItttis Girl.

Here IS little girl
So sweet. so perfect sweet,
From every golden. wi1d-tossed curl
Down 10 her slippered feet
And even the rustls Of her dress
Is unto me q sweet caress.
Here is little girl
So perfect sweet and pure,
That do think the thought OF her
Shall eyermore endured
And even her lightest football seems
To pass like music through ry dreansi
Here Is little girl
Who AZ the stor-a and strife
Still sweetly whispers words of love
And tenderest words OF lifei
And even her lightest whisper falls,
A melody In memory's halls
Atlanta Constitution.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16
TILE SUBlRRIGATION.
pod Way of Applying Water to Fruits

Good Way OF Applying Water TO Fruits
and Forced Vegetables.
Underground irrigation is often more
useful than water applied on the sur
face, for small fruits and forced vegeta-
bles, especially the strawberry when
the plants are developing fruit. The
sinking of empty Aowerpots here and
there through the plot, and keeping
these filed with water, which grad
ually soaxs into the surrounding
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16
A superior Hard a. the Game.

Footpad Jim-So you'se held up dat
guy / Just saw comm down this dark
street. did you? Who was he?
Sandbag Gabrielle was ward pol
itician.
Footpad Jim (prtmptlyl-IIow much
did he take from yor?- Chicago Record.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16

The poor are only those who feel
poor, and poverty consists in feeling
poor. The rich. as we reckon them,
and among them the very rich, ia a
true scale would be found very INDECENT
and ragged Emerson
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16
YYhsn Ynn Yfant = Thresher,

Horse Power, Swinging or Wind Stacker.
Saw Mill, Self Feeder, or an Engine, adj
dress the j. l. CASE T. II. Co, Racine Wis.
They have the largest Threshing Machine
plantin the world, and their implements may
be relied upon as the best Business estab-
lished 1872. Illustrated catalogue mailed free.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16

Encouraging Dora-"I hope that
photographer win take a good picture
of me-" Coral guess he will. They
say he Is very successful in taking
works Of art. Detroit Free p
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16
a Kew 6 symptom.

Invalid am getting tired of this
monotonous state ~ things. Even a
new symptom. woulh be relief.
Doctor Well, tht h, why not pay me
something on accotInt?-N. Y. Herald.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16
s5S Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Halls Family Pills, - cents

GAeGs-"The fin &c steele bonnet Of the
season doesn't seem 10 be larger than a
humming bird" Waggs-'Tha''s true; but
il it was built in proportion to its bill il
ought 10 be as large as an ostrich. IN. Y.
T7ss5h rrn
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16

Now SAID Iii Hung Chang, ''let us
definitely understand the terms of the
treaty. Certainly replied the mikado :
that's very simple. The terms of the treaty
are cash f'-Washing tOn Star
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16
s,,,, sui.p,cIous.

Burglar dust Quilted by his coun-
sel)-I viii shortly PAIL and see You at
your Office, sir.
Very good; but in the daytime.
please. "-Blumenlese.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16
rne1pected Corroheratlon.

Mrs De Flatte DIR. Knowall says
milk should not be used in large guam
titles, because it makes the hair fall
out DO you believe that?
Mrs Smith-Dear me! II might be.
Our cow sheds its hair dreadfully.-N.
v Weekly
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16

PROSPECTIVE TENANT TO agent You say
this house is just a stones throw from the
depot. Well, all | have 10 say is / have
great admiration for the man who threw the
stone Life
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16

PIso's Cure for Consumption relieves he
most obstinate coughs.-Rev. ID. BUCH-
MUELLER, Lexington, NO., Feb. "a, "a.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16

TRUST him little who praises all; him less
who censures all, and him least who Is indif-
ferent to ail.-Layater.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16

THAT LUMP in a
III a n s stom a c h
which makes him
irritable and nisera-
BILE and unfit for bus
mess or pleasure is
caused by indiges-
ton. Indigestion,
like charity, covers
a multitude of sins.
The trouble may be
N stomach, liver,
bowels. Wherever il
is, il is caused by the
presence of poison
GUS, refuse matter
which Nature has
been unable to rid
herself of, unaided.
In such cases, wise
fpeople send down a
little health officer,
personi6ed by one
of DR. Pierce's Pleas
ant Pellets, 10 search
out the trouble and
remove its cause.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16

PAssESeER-"W What is the train waiting so
long for hereg' Conductor-"Thee engineer
exhausted the steam by blowing the whistle
too long. "-Fliegende Blaetter.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16
THAT LUMP in a

ssDo YoU believe in original sini'' "No;
most of them are plagiarized. PUCK.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16

THE affections are like lightning; you can
not tell where they will strike till they Lave
fallen IAcOrdaire.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16
A TEACHERS REFORM.

The Remarkable Effect Of Snap
shot" Upon a Willy Enemy.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16

HEN Jim Bill came
back to 1--we on the
farm after his IA
theirs death, Uncle
Sias Titcomb ex-
pressed the feeling
of Powder Hous e
Corner about him.
"We.re Kind o {
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-05-16

WHEN lightning strikes it admits of no
arbitration.-Texas Siftings.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1895-01-28

A good story is told of Signor Foil.
the famous basso Once upon time he
was singing 1.-The Raft, when a child
ish voice from somewhere in the stalls
Suddenly piped in and attempted to or
ganize an impromptu duet. Unfortu
nately the next line of the song was:
"Hark! What sound is that which
breaks upon mine earl" This so tickled
the fancy Of the great vocalist that he
burst into hearty fit Of laughter and
left the platform. followed by the pi-
anist Twice they came back and ct
tempted the song, and finally they had
to give it up in despair. much to the
amusement Of the audience.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1895-01-28

We often hear good old ladies advise their
friends when they arc afiiic' ed with boils aud
other ewellings Of . similar character that indi-
cate bad condition d the blood, 10 take rome =
thing TO scatter 'em." This IL the worst advice
that could be given. for, connecting scattering
is e ken, the poison in the blood, which the sys-
TEN h trying to throw OF through the boil or
Whatever the swelling nay be, lie driven back into
the system, and so edectually' scattered" through
it: and BY and by /, ie ely - manifest itself In
terrible wayr. What should always be done when
boile, pimp,es and other erupions Of like nature
appear, lie to give something that will act on and
wi the blood, and help TO relieve itself Of the
impurities in it, something in ehorf. TO aseist the
system in its effort to throw OF impure matter
which Goes not belong there. II swellinss and
cruptions increase after beginning to take such q
medicine &c sure that il Is doing exactly what /,
ought to. II 10 criving ont the poison. When
the blood is puri6od these outward indications oi
inward imrurity will cease The medicine tina,
dee this work most eRcctual,y is DR.. Picrce't
Golten Medical Discovery.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1895-01-28
Michael Angelo.

Michael Angelo was equally great as
painter. sculptor and architect. In Or
der to paint figures properly he devoted
IL years to the study of anatomy alone
His monument to Pope Julius II was
ON SO grand q scale that the Church of
st. Peter in Rome was altered with a
view to affording suitable place for its
reception. Tho tomb was afterward
modified in plan and placed in another
church. His Last Judgment" requir.
ed seven years to execute and was finish.
ed when the artist was nearly IS. A
few weeks before his death the aged
artist was met one day in the street
walking through the snow with great
difficulty. When asked where he was
going. no replied, ITO school to try
and learn something
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1895-01-28
Gray win 1ry 20 sesr,e a..

WASHINGTON. Jan. 28-Mr. Isaac p.
Gray, United States minister to Mexico,
who has been on leave of absence in this
country for six weeks, will leave at oncl
for his post at the City of Mexico. He
has been in consultation with Secretary
Gresham and Is acquainted with his
wishes in the matter Of bringing about q
friendly and peaceable settlement between
Mexico and Guatemala, and II the ap.
peal Of President Cleveland 10 favorably
entertained Mr.. Gray will probably CO
operate with United States Minister
Pierce Young In Guatemala in the ef.
fort to arrange q basis of settlement Of
the trouble.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1895-01-28
A WASHINGTON correspondent say

A WASHINGTON correspondent says
that the only exercise President
Cleveland gets is an hours rubbing
by a masseur, who comes to the
white house at 1880 o'clock every
morning. He received similar
treatment last summer before he
went to Gray Gables, but it was not
resumed this winter until he came
down with the govt. Then, by the
advice of DIR. O'Reilly. the "profes-
sor" was sent for again and reduced
the presidents weight AZ pounds
within three weeks.