The Washington times., 1895-01-20

pretty much the same thing. That cat re-
mains in the bag sometimes for a week or ten
days, but he is bound to jump out OF it in the
end 1t is not a new joke, he said, but it is
pretty universal that the hotel waiter will dis
cover the fact first. He knows, without much
trouble, that when married man asks
woman If she takes sugar in her tea or asks
her any question that he ought to know, that
he is quite fresh in the matrimonial business.
The suave coiored porter at the ladies' en-
trance of the National said that he had two
infallible tests for determining whether he
was receiving a bride and groom or not.
''They always look new" he said, "and then
l usually catch some words. He did not. or
would not, say what the words he usually
caught were, but those who have been there
can guess them variously.
AT another hotel the porter said that when
man paid him for opening the door he knew
he was never married before. Another way,
he said. was when the man asked what was
the latest hour he could get breakfast.
NO. don't know anything about brides
and grooms, said landlady on G. street.
land L don't want to know anything about
them. OF course, know them when l see
them. I suppose the two that were here yes
terday came broke from hotel. They al
ways do that. Just after Christmas a lady
and gentleman came here, who. | know, had
just arrived from the dust in his eyes She
said that they were tired of living in botels
and they wanted a place like a boarding
house that was so homelike, you know, and
ALL THAT KIND OF THING.
''Well, took them in and for a week they
never got down to breakfast or were on time
for dinner. changed their clearinghouse
for them. Yesterday two others came and
held hands on the sofa while they were try
ing to talk business. So 1 concluded that 1
didn't want any more people who wanted a
homeike place to live"
A guide at the Capitol who has personally
conducted the tour of that building by un-
numbered pairs of pilgrims, said that any
fool could tell a bride and bridegroom.
How? Because they are so .clingy.' There
were Two here yesterday that were about as
good a specimen as ever saw. / was show
ing them the wonder of the whispering gal
lery. She stood on the right spot and so did
he. 1 stood behind her. She whispered
'''Charlie wasn't right when I told you
that mama would -
"'No, damn it, you weren't and it's NEST
time to let that drop, came back in honey
moon whisper.
"They stopped whispering, and she turned
around and said it was truly wonderful
wonder Those people got together again
before we reached the door.
"NIost people think that brides nowadays
are shy and timid. That isn't so. They think
they know what they're about. so they rattle
along Just as If they were never married. but
they are so sure to overdo 1t that you can
spot them in spite of everything and any
thing they can do.
Il don't mean that great many of them
try to fool anybody. Some of them are very
frank and will tell you unasked all about 1t,
as sort of exchange for what / tell them.
Another thing is that tn get used to it very
quickly and think they know each other in a
day or two. But of course they don't.
ANY man who stands by the elevator and
sees these couples get in will be able to guess
the
BIGGEST SECRET OF ANY OF THEM.
'It is all right to hold her arm and show her
in, but there isn't bit of use in holding on
tight until the elevator hits the ground floor,
and they'll do that almost every time.
eff were asked for general rule as to
how to know new pair from an old pair |
would say watch him how he handles her. II
he handles her sometimes he is married; if he
handles her all the time and on the slightest
provocation he is as fresh and new as they
make EN- Look there, now; you see that
couple on the bench. (This was under the
great dome That's bridal party of two.
How do you know? WE'LL you see, she is
pointing up to the frescoes and talking. You
! notice that he Is not looking at the frescoes,
those on the dome, anyhow. That's BRIDE
| groom.
Then up at the Corcoran Gallery there is a
| way that Is somewhat infaliible Talking on
| the subject there yesterday with an expert he
| said: "Whenever you see couple go down
| into the sculpture gallery and come back in
| two minntes, they are bride and groom. II
you don't know why that is, ask the bride. y