The Washington times., 1895-06-02

Unlike the policemen In the "Pirates of
Penzance." whose lot was unhappy only
when constabulary work was to be done,
the life OF park watchman is always a
hard one. In the Smithsonian grounds
FOR instance, there are about sixty acres to
be patroled by four policemen, who work
eight hours each.
One man goes on duty at a. m. and
works until 4 in the afternoon, another
works from noon until D. M, and the
same programme is repeated by two Others
at night. From this it can be seen that
there is considerable period when there
is only one watchman in all of this tract.
which presents q fine field for sand
baggers and thugs to get in their work.
In addition to the usual duties deyoIying
upon policeman, these special officers
have great many other things to do, such
as cleaning out the sewer traps, gath
ering up the scraps OF paper scattered
around by careless pedestrians and pic
mic parties. and often they are compelled
to take in hand the pick and shovel.
One thing with which the guardians of
the park have to contend, is the malicious
pulling of flowers and breaking of the limbs
of trees. This is done to greater de-
gree by visitors than by residents of
the city, although very often an impe-
cunious young man, in crossing the squares
in going to call upon his lady-loye, yields
to the temptation to snatch flower to
present to the fond object OF bis af-
fections
In the case of country pumpkins and hay
seeds, who sometimes are unaware of
their wrong doing the tender-heart ed
patrolmen temper their punishment with
mercy, and generally let the offender off
with a reprimand.
HOW TO MAKEA WATCHMAN MAD.
There is one practice OF park freQuenters
at the sight of which the honest keepers
blood fairly boils. Somehow or other
when one has certain letter to read
there is no place which seems so suitable
for its peTusal as a seat in one of the
squares or parks. Generally these letters
when read must be kept sacredly from the
eyes OF all others, and the best way to in
sure this is to destroy it, and then and
there it is scattered 10 the four winds in
the tiuiest bits.
Now each one OF those infinitesimaI parts
must be picked up by the watchman, and
after accomplishing this ii may be imag-
Ined he has an aching back. This is IN his
opinion the most atrocious of crimes, for
world or the next
The department clerks are very fond of
easy methods or quick processes in every
thing, and they chow a decided predi-
lection for short cuts across the grass, and
the blue-coated gentleman must keep his
eyes peeled for these important person
ages. Drunks are common in the squares,
and the most choicy and finniky tramp
wants no better bed than a park bench.
Cranks and mildly insane individuals
usually make use of a settee as stage on
which to cut their capers, or as rostrum
from which TO proclaim TO the world
what Congress should do and how politics
in general ought TO be run.
II may surprise some to hear that there
is q gang of blackmailers who carry on
their nefarious business exclusively in the
parks and squares OF the city. Sometimes
they can be found there by day, but gen
orally just as night begins to cast its shadows
over the city they resort thither and con-
ceal themselves in the grass or skulk be-
hind a tree or bush neara couple ononeof the
benches. Men are sometimes rash and
hasty, and women imprudent and impulsive
and both being only human often say and
do things that they ought not to and such
things when seen or heard by the watcher
are made a means of raising revenue.
The man VIII pay handsomely TO have it
kept out of the papers and from his wife
or family, while the woman win go TO any
extreme TO hide it from husband or parents
OF course large sums are eXtorted from
both parties and the requests become fire.
quent and for immense amounts. The
guilty parties whose offense very often is
not so serious, can not do otherwise than
comply with the demands, for, ii they in
form the police, their little affair VIII neces-
sarily be disclosed and aired in the news
papers.
Ia trying to keep the scuundrei's mouth
shut they are driven to worse crimes in
order to obtain the money which he de-
mands. This is a lucrative business with
a certain class of people in this city and
few but the park officials know TO what
extent it is carried on.
a park bench hisalso fine vantage-ground
from which To study the more ordinary
phases of human nature. One evening
last week Times mau followed the crowd
making its way to the Smithsonian grounds
aud seated himself on a rustic Settee, giving