The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1895-10-05
IiUMOR OF THE DAY.

Love makes the world go ro7nd
but it will not make the eligible young
men 60 round. Puck.
If AIahomet went to the MoHniuln
it was doubtless for the purpose OF
getting his name in the society co.,
1mn.-Boston Transcript.
''What is Charley doing for living
now?" "Nriting." 81 Didn't know he
was literary" "5e isn't. lie writes
home for renittances. "--Tit.B Bit.
"Jow 10 You like my new trolley
hat?' "TrolIeT hat! It's very pretty
hut why do you call it that?" ''Nny'
Johu says it's perfectly killing
Brooklyn Life.
Ncston-''Do ron think p yonns
man can safely marry on $loaweeN!
Eastcn--"Wcll, hat depends good
deal on how lnnch The siriA father Is
worth. "-Somer7!iie Journal.
Rasorter-"And is everything on
your farm nice and fresh?" farmer
-"Nice AMI fresh? I guess yon'd
think SO if You'd see some OF our city
boarders. "-Boston Traveller.
II must bo carer1l," observe tue
cyclone. as it caronel across the
countrr. ';ahout taking dro' too
much. It's oil up with re II once
get lissipatsd: ''-Detroit Tribune
"WAat became Of that tr;ain: le!-
low, TwsedIcs?" "Oh, he went West
and opened a store" "Doju ; weil?'
$40; dong time. He was cauSat IN
the ac.. ."-Pittsburg Cb7oaicle- Iele'
graph.
Pr;ncely-:Did YOU see Jaberson
last night, spending money IKE :"
princa?" "IiSe prince? He blew
in about s.. Do you call that ike a
prince?' '';Sure; the moaey was MS
wife s:"-1nliauapolls Tribune.
.sHow did you feel on your 'i!tleth
birtbday?'' asked one OF boston's
bachelors of another who is begin
ming to grow old. "Se7er happier or
friskier in my liie," sail he, .'Dnt l
had bad headache next morning.
Boston Hera'd d.
''It's hard to tell just what the pub
lie wants." said the tLeater manager
with sigh" II hasn't struck me that
way" replied tbe treasurer; 1T
seems painfully easy t. me. IN nlno
cases ont Of ten it wants It's money
back. "--Washington Star.
Stranger-''Do the people do much
hurting around here?" Native
"rhcy do, for fact. Dead loads OF
it," Svranger-"What do they hu1t
deer and quail?" Native-"Nope'
Money to meet their notes in bank
with. '-Florida Times-Uuion.
Miss Coygirl-"Jack Softleigh told
me last night that I ought to accept
him because he was willing to prove
bis love for me-" Her fren:l -"Whas
did YOU saw" 81 said I couldn't see
it in that light" "Theu what dill be
sav?" Nothing. He just turned the
light ont. ."-Philalelphia Recor i.
'I've always said," remarked MIR.
scrabbles, "that too much education
lest amounted to maxim people furslt
all about common sense" "Whnt's
the matter?" "My daughter this
mornin' asked me how felt. l totd
her L was il pretty bad shape. on,
papa = said she, like she was goin, to
faint. Don't you know that bad
shape is bad form?' Ez il anybody
didn't know that! !'-Washington Star.
"Do you think, asked the Colonel
as he cooked his revolver, that you
can make room tomorrow Tor thas
communication Of mine which has lain
on your desk for six weeks past:
"Certsinlvg" gssped the editor 1T
we're crowded / CAN enlarge the
pa,er, or "Ihat is satisfactory,
interrupted the Colonel, still eyetna
his weapon. 81 heard that you "srs
crow,7etl for space up here, and J
thought ii / got you anu tue foreman
out Of the way there would be more
rno;6 :'-Atlenta Constitution.