Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1895-04-27
Let Us All Laugh.

Let Us All Laugh.
Miss Yearsay-Do you think woman
ought to work for a husband? Miss
Quick-Yes, till she gets him.-Phil-
adelphia Inquirer.
Magistrate-Do you prefer charges
against this man? McSwat-Sure, yer
honor, prefer amages.-Philadelph
Record.
Mrs. Brownstone-It think Mary's mu-
sic professor has a beautiful touch.
Mr.. Brownstone-I should say he hadI
Seven dollars a lesson.-New York
World
Wiggins-NIy boy, if you live beyOnd
your income, you are bound to come to
grief. Spenditt-My dear fellow, if l
had to live within it, l would be miSer-
able even now!-Harper's Bazar.
Old man-What! You nave 10000
thalers in debts, and want to marry my
daughter? Would-be son-in- -law-Why,
amt your daughter going to have so
much as that -Fliegende Blaetter.
Northern tourist-Three hours ago
1 ordered possum for supper. Where
is that waiter landlord? Landlord-%
| 'possum, sir-Atlanta Constitution.
Customer fellows ought to get
rich. You make 300 or 400 per cent. on
what you SELL Druggist-What can T
serve you with Customer-Give me
three two-cent stamps.-New York Herr
| aid. AhlH
Heardso-They say every hearty
laugh adds day to ones life. Saids0
That depends 1 had at least week
kicked out of me for laughing at A
man who fell in the mud.-PearsonsH
Weekly. II
First Footballer@"Did Halfback ga
around and wallop that editor WHO
wrote about The Brutality Of FooH
ballY" Second Footballer = MOI
'Why not?" "Halfback is in the hos.
pital Good News. IN
whats this parrot saying2' asked
the visitor in the bird store. ''It doesn't
sound like Polly wants a cracker"
''No. It's Polly wants a beam I'm
educating the bird for Boston lady,n
Washington Star.
Lawyer-What's that book you are
reading? Law student-Oh, it's work
on common sense. Lawyer-Yes, sir,
and one day with such book as that
would ruin your mind for legal work
forever.-Judge.
81 understand the critics showed your
poems a great deal of consideration"
said the young woman. "Why, they
didn't say a word about them," replied
the young man. "That's what 1 meant"
Washington Star.
do you believe in woman's rightsg1
asked the American young man. Ger
tainly," replied Lord Doddleby. 'My
f1ancee has 100000 in her own right,
and consider it deuced charming in
er."-Washington Star.
Smithers-Brown, you are a WE'LL
read man, what do you think is the
greatest thing about the world?
Brown-Well, to be accurate, Smithers,
/ think it's the circumference.-Adam
Freeman.
Young wife (dreamily)-How lovely
it would be if all things in this world
would work in harmony. Husband
ghtfully)-My, yes! For instance,
If coal would only go up and down
with the thermometer.-New York
Weekly.
Wife-Cousin Clara needs a new pens
knife, and 1 would like to give her one
of mine; but people say that a gift OF
knife will cut friendship. Husband
-Haveno fear; no knife that one wom4
an gives another will cut anything
Boston Globe.
First citizen-The spirit Of anarchy
can only be found in large cities. Sec4
ond citizen-Guess that's SO. A man
never feels like slaughtering the whole
human race until he lives in fat,
with a piano above and a baby below.
New York Weekly. I
81 wish could marry a count" said
girl who had been reading about
Anna Gould's wedding. "You have
plenty of admirers" replied her mar
ried sister. NYes, know" she admits
ted, with little sigh, "a countless
number. ."-Pittsburg Chronicle Tele4
graph.
'AIy," said the shoe clerk boarder.
"but 1 did get fine lot of sarcasm
from my tailor when 1 had to stand
him off again. Still, l rather think
deserved it" In other words" gur4
gled the Cheerful Idiot, syou deem his
remarks both cutting and fitting.'s-