Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1895-09-13
AN INNOCENT PARSON.
HIS ATTEMPT TO DESCRIBE A RAM
FIGHT IN RING VERNACULAR.

| FI6f7 in KING VERNACUIAR.
The Bride ventured Suggestion Which
Caught On-The Preacher Didn't Fully
Succeed In Appearing Unsophisticated.
The Little RAMS Ring Tactics.
A preacher told this story at we'd
ding supper Oh the South Side the other
evening":
II was riding along country road
near Bloomington, he said, "when I
noticed a group Of sheep in a pasture
There was a large open space in the
midst of the flock, and at either end of
the space stood ram. In the center,
but standing little at one side, was a
third ram. The two rams had evidently
had falling out about something, or
else they had come to settle in friend
ly contest which was the better ram
Ram No. 8 seemed to be acting as
judge, umpire-what do you call it?
Referee? Yes, that it, the third ram
was the referee. don't know under
|
may have been Queensberry or Rosebery.
You see am not up to these technical
matters
"When all the preliminaries had been
arranged and both contestants had been
cautioned apparently that there was to
be no 'fouling'-I think I have seen
that word in the newspapers occasional
| In ar16 fhorofn,.a T -
rect word to use in this connection
each backed off to the farthest limits of
the circle, which, by the way, was not
a squared CIRCLE. The referee stepped
out of the way, and the rams dashed to-
ward each other. When their heads
came together, there was terrific crash,
and the force of the conclusion threw
them as far apart as the length of this
| table
All the guests looked the full length
Of the table from the passion flowers at
one end to the BRIDES cake in the far
perspective, and then at the preacher in
| the middle distance, but nobody said
anything.
"Then,'' continued the preacher,
''they took their places, apparently none
the worse for the encounter. Again, evil
| IDENTIFY at preconcerted signal from the
referee, they dashed together. This time
the shock was even more terrific than
the first, and I noticed that as one of
them went back to his-ah, what do
they call it, corner?- he was a little I'M
steady on his legs"
UGrouov y, voDturod tho h,.ida
| 81 believe that is the technical term, :"
replied the preacher, although, as I
| have intimated, am not at all familiar
with sporting phraseology. When time
was called for the third round-ahem-
that is, mean to say when the rams
had recovered strength for third col
lision = there was another rush, a
crash, and one Of the rams, the one you
SO aptly described as 'groggy' with an
Acknowledgement to the bride) fell to
his knees. His adversary did not seem
inclined to follow up his advantage, but
possibly he may have been restrained by
the rules of the meeting. At any rate,
after contemplating his fallen foe grave
~ for a moment he walked back to his
place. The other ram, after resting
briefly, struggled to his feet. The third
ram-the one have called the referee
looked at him rather inquiringly, as
| it seemed to me, but the warrior show
ed no sign Of recognition. He ambled
to his side of the ring and faced about.
A murmur of some sort seemed to go
through the flock. The odds were APP
parently to l in favor Of the other
ram-that is to say, it seemed to be the
general opinion that the ram with the
weak knees had been outclassed, as the
other one was decidedly the heavier Of
the two.
"However, the smaller ram seemed
to have wonderful recuperative powers.
When the proper interval had elapsed,
he came up smiling, as it were. I even
thought I could see twinkle in his eye,
for was quite close to the fence, and
this thing took place only little dis
lance away AS the referee stepped back
from the center of the ring, where he
kept his position between the meetings,
the other two rams drove at each other
pellmell. At the very instant when
their hard horns would have met, how
ever, the smaller ram suddenly changed
his course to the right, and the other
went through the ranks like catapult.
"Just as he turned about, evidently
boiling over with Indignation at the
trick which had been played on him,
the other one, with the added force given
by longer run from one side of the Cir
Gle to q point several feet outside Of it,
where the larger ram S momentum had
carried him, shot at him like cannon
ball, striking him full in the face and
driving him several feet away, where
he lay limp and helpless. The third
ram, who was promptly on the spot, as
suppose every competent referee should
be, nodded his head several times-in
deed it looked to me as if he was count
tng=-spd then the fallen ram failing to
rise the whole flock marched away to-
ward knoll in another part of the
meadow with the victorious ram at the
head. Presently the defeated ram got
on his feet and made his way to q Sc
cluded spot down by little run, where
J. saw him reclining in the shade of a
large willsw tree as rode away"
"What an interesting study natural
history is, - said the brides grandmoth-
es as she adjusted her glasses.
lit is indeed" said the groom's ia
ther, coughing behind his napkin. Chi
cago Tribune.
An Irish Students Reply.
An Irish student, who some years ago
attended the university of Edinburgh,
called upon one Of the most celebrated
teachers of the German flute, desiring
TO know Oh what terms he would give