davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iuka vidette., 1895-04-25

"IIIT am er good ting" said Uncle Eben,
"foh folks ter try ter be satisfy wifi whut
dey kin un'stan'. IT dah was less hypnotism
goin' on an mo- baptism, dah wouldn't be
SO much trouble ut de prosen' time."-Wash-
ington Star.
The Iuka vidette., 1895-04-25

sPAPA," said boy, ~ know what makes
folks laugh i'll their sleeves" "Wel, nv
son, what makes thems' "Cause that's
where their funny bone is.p
The Iuka vidette., 1895-04-25

KITTY -"He's an emotional bruiser."
Janet-"And what's thatt' Kitty - "A
heart smasher, don't you know."-Detroit
FREQ Press.
The Iuka vidette., 1895-04-25

OUR neighbor secs our faults, but he hasn't
seen the bitter tears they have made us
weep.--Ram's Horn.
The Iuka vidette., 1895-04-25

SOME people have not heard tho truth in
so long that they are getting so they willnot
stand it-Galveston News.
The Iuka vidette., 1895-04-25

HoAx-"rm going to take cornet lessons
from Prof Blowhard." Joax-"Going to
take him for your tooter, ohp-Philadelphia
Record
The Iuka vidette., 1895-04-25

"WHAT are you giving met" said the Il
quisitivo patient, as the physician poure
out the medicine.
The Iuka vidette., 1895-04-25

WHEN man is called "Honest Bill" or
sold Reliable jack" it is high time to in
vestigate his accounts.-Texas Siftings.
The Iuka vidette., 1895-04-25

THERE is a sad difference between finan-
cial strait and a financial fiush.-Galveston
News.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29
A MAN OF RESOURCES.
This Dentist Was willing to AccommO.
Glete His Patron.

This Dentist Was willing to Accommu.
date His Patron.
The dentist didn't want to talk shop,
he said, but he thought the story worth
telling, SO he told it. "Not long ago."
he said, "a western railroad president
came to New York, aud one evening
was invited to dine with some Of his
friends here. The dinner was particu-
larly jolly affair, and when the western
man reached his hotel he was in a mer-
~ mood. It was his custom to place his
oct of false teeth under the pillow every
night just before going to bed, and he
was certain he had done SO on this par
ticular evening. Nevertheless in the
morning he was unable to find them.
Searching high and low in the room
was Of no avail, and finally he came to
me for o new set.
"'How long will it take you to make
them?' he asked. told him four or five
days. Cant listen to anything like
that, he replied. TN give you triple
money to make them in "a hours You
see people from Chicago think that
money laughs at everything, even time.
"All my arguing with the old fellow
did no good, 90 I set to work on his
teeth. In the meantime, however, I told
my assistant to hasten around to the old
mans hotel and make q scientific search
Of his room. The westerner insisted
that he had drunk no moro wine than
usual at the dinner, but was satisfied
that he was deceiving himself. I had
not been long at the preliminary meas
urements when my assistant called me
out and handed me the teeth. He had
found them in the pillowcase, where
the owner had put them instead Of un-
der the pillow.
II returned the teeth and the railroad
man was 80 overjoyed that he did not
cancel the order. but told me to go
ahead with the teeth. They might come
in handy some time, he said. He even
unbent so far as to admit that perhaps,
after all, he had drunk glass Of wine
too much tho night before, and when I
sent him my bill I received a check for
double the amount from him. New
York Tribune
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29
THE BARBER'S REVENGE.


A Tale Of Talkative Tonsorial Artist
and His 0ruH Customer.
As he threw himself back into the
embrace Of the cushioned chair Of o
Union square barber shop he scowled
6ercely at the barber and buried his
face in the newspaper. But the barber
didn't mind the ugly opening. He
leaned over, garroted the tonsorial pa
tient with a towel and painted his face
with lather. When he had flipfapped
a razor once or twice along the strop he
began mildly:
"Nice day, sir.
"Oh, is it," answered the other.
The barber looked startled, but he
tried again.
Paper says we're going to have nice
weather now"
"Thanks," was the answer, II know
how to read myself"
At this rebuff the barber kept 81.
lence. But he shaved against the grain,
tweaked the others nose aud daubed
soap into the corner Of his mouth. The
gruff man swore softly, the barber
smiled, and as a final act Of violence
grabbed the other by the top Of the scalp
and twisted his head until the cervical
vertebrm crsaked again.
"Say," cried the gruff man. "my
head amt no roulette wheel"
But still the barber shaved on in 81.
lence. He shaved and shaved, scraping
the skin 90 close that it showed ragged
under the blade. Then, leaning over, he
grabbed q handful Of raw and tender
skin and rolled 1t between his fingers
until the other groaned aloud. As the
tear drops stole down the scarified face
the barber administered the final taunt:
"Do you shave yourself, sir2'
"No," reared the gruf man, leaping
up in the chair, II shave my grand
mother and sisters nieces"
Then he buried his face in the paper
and the barber smiled and smiled and
smiled, while he rubbed alum into the
core spots on the victims chin.-New
York World
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29
Mistaken Idea Of Capital.

Honest men who believe in property
rights and the just payment Of debts
would do we'll to note the attacks ON
capital" which are such prominent
feature in the FREQ coinage press and
literature. Capital is denounced as
robber Of industry, and the people are
urged to vote for cheap dollars as q
means Of injuring the oppressive cap.
italist. To any one who knows what
capital really is-that is, wealth saved
for the purpose Of aiding to produce
more wealth-these denunciations are
extremely silly. OF itself capital is an
inert thing and can do nothing without
human labor and natural resources. In
the form Of money It's only use in pro-
duction is to purchase real capital
buildings, machinery, raw materials.
etc.-for giving men work. and thus
adding to the general welfare. II man
has right to own that which he pro-
duces, he must have right to the cap.
ital which he saves. II he has right
to own 800. he has an equal right to
81 900 or $1,000, 900, 80 long as be
honestly earns it.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29
Water Wheels,

The point is made by a writer in one
Of the mechanical journals that the
greatest obstacle now encountered in
the successful operation Of water wheels
ID, from an economical aspect, the too
often entire absence Of engineering skill
In utilizing the power. and that many a
water power would develop greater eff
cheney were it properly controlled and
had the turbine been selected because Of
Its adaptability to the conditions and
been properly set. On their introduce
tion. he remarks, turbines were used
singly, but now they are used either
singly or in sets Of two or three or moro,
o. expedient, and in batteries of sets ;
by the use, too, Of iron or steel PEN
stocks and feed pipes the expense Of in
sailing has been largely reduced and
far greater economy in the use Of water
secured; the growing demand for large
units Of power has also been satisfied,
90 that whereas a few years back a 500
horsepower turbine was almost unheard
Of, turbines Of 5000 horsepower are
now employed.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29

Uonal prosperity, credit and honor.
These new pests would II unchecked
cause the country q greater loss in one
year than have the grasshoppers since
they first appeared. They seek to estab-
Nsh financial policy which means the
population Of debts, the debasement of
our money and the adoption Of the 30
cent dollars which are the currency Of
Mexico With false and misleading
promises Of increased wealth, which
they pretend would follow the enact
ment Of law for the free coinage Of sill
yer at 10 to I. they try 10 delude the
farmers into supporting their schemes.
We're they to be successful trade and in
dustry would be paralyzed. capital
would be withdrawn from agriculture
and general business depression would
follow. The only safeguard against the
threatened danger 10 to vote down tho
repudiators and elect only mem pledged
to support honest money.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29
"All - Good ~ GOld.~

There has been a good deal Of con.
troversy and argument about what freq
coinage Is. Here we have in this bill the
plain, unauthorized free coinage Of sill.
yer. That is not what the people want.
They do not want cheaper money; they
want more money, plenty of it. All as
gold as gold. These two ideas have been
blended together in the popular mind as
II the only way to get moro money was
by the free coinage Of silver. Free coin.
age Of silver would reduce the volume
Of money because it would demonetize
the whole Of the gold we have on hand.
How long it would take to supply the
vacuum by the boards Of silver that may
come from all the countries of the world
I cannot answer, but the immediate ef-
feet would be the lessening Of the guam.
tity Of money in our country. Hon.
John Sherman, June l, 1899.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29

As a rule natural history and geogra.
ply are more delightfully."- taught in
Prussia than here. We gladly use its
maps, colored pictures and natural col
lections. School hygiene in Switzerland
Is enforced in wonderful ways. Skating
vacations ON we'll prepared icefelds
are prescribed, and there are vacation
colonies and milk cures" for the sick
". From Vienna comes the demand for
more Fairgrounds under the care Of ex-
perienced teachers maintained by the
city and regularly attended.-Last Re-
port Of United States Commissioner Of
Education W. Harris.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29

Mr.. G. Caillouette, druggist, Beavers
vile, ILL.,, says: "To DR.. Kings New
Discovery I owe my life. Was taken with
Ia grippe and tried all the physicians for
miles about, but OF no avail and was given
up and told could not live. Having Dr..
Kings New Discovery in my store I sent
for bottle and began its use, and from
the first dose began to get better, and af-
ter using three bottles was up and about
again. 1t is worth it's weight in gold. We
won't keePstore or house without it," Get
a free trial at ], R, Evans drug store
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29

Workingmen may not have time TO
study carefully the various cheap money
schemes Of the silverites. greenbackers,
etc. but there is no reason why they
should be deluded into voting for any
Of them. So far the 80 cent dollar or
the fat no cent dollar have not made
many converts among the laboring
classes, but 1t is likely that in the next
national campaign special effort will
be made to induce workingmen to vote
for the silver standard. To all appeals
for such support the intelligent work
men should ask this question, "1s it not
fact beyond dispute that IN every
country Of the world which has the gold
standard wages are higher than in the
countries which are OH silver basis?"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29
Big Bells In China,

Besides hundreds Of bells weighing
from 10, to $4,000 pounds, Nankin,
China, has four bells which weigh so, 900
pounds each. They are nearly IL English
feet each in height, and are almost %
feet in diameter. The metal in thesemon.
sters averages about 5 q inches in thick
ness throughout, being about s inches
Oh the lower lip, Or rim. In Picking there
is chime Of seven bells. each Of which
weighs 10000 pounds. Louis Re
public.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29
Beeonias For Garden Decoration.

1t is now getting to DO well under
stood that many plants that 1t was
thought could only be grown under glass
do remarkably we'll in our climate nm
der summer shade. The begonia Is es-
pecially suited to this summer work.
The writer came across little piece Of
rockwork constructed under the shade
of some large trees, in which the whole
mass of rocks was completely covered
with species Of beeonia. Every night, OF
nearly every night, water was showered
ON them through hose from q hydrant.
Nothing could exceed the beauty OF this
pass.-Meehan's Monthly.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29
DESTRUCTIVE siLvERHoPPERs.


A Plague That Threatens to BE WOrss
Than the Grasshopper.
The farmers in Kansas. Nebraska and
other western states have in past years
suffered greatly from plague Of grass
hoppers, which swarmed In millions
over the prairies, devouring hay, grain
and other crops Wherever the greedy
insects came they brought desolation,
and many fourishing settlements were
completely ruined by the pests. With in
creased cultivation the swarms gradual
" diminished and Of late have done it,
tie harm.
But another and worse foe to the
farmer is abroad in the land. Especially
In the south. west and northwest there
has sprung up plague Of silverhoppers
that threatens the destruction Of our ma
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29

In connection with the above state
ment Mr.. Atkinson presents the follow
ing plan for the payment Of outstanding
notes and certificates:
The forced loan undo: the Bland and
Sherman acts exceeded $500, 000, 900,
deducting the silver dollars in circula-
tion as specie and token coinage to-
gether with the paid up Sherman notes,
this debt has been reduced to $485, no.
400, against which the government owns
silver to the nominal value Of $512,S38.-
750.47. The remainder Of the Sherman
notes If presented would make demand
Of $115,978, 7O8. They could be funded
by issue Of 800, 900, 900 Of 4 per cent
United States bonds at the present price
Of 1923 or 1874. This would add $8,-
60O,O to interest charges. But it
would give absolute stability to the re-
naming outstanding notes, both war
and Bland issues.
The amount Of Bland silver certiA-
Gates outstanding after the funding Of
the Sherman notes would be $3.50, 000,-
900, secured by $51s, 900, 900 Of silver
IN the treasury. The market value Of
this silver would about cover the Bland
certificates. for the redemption Of which
In silver at market value authority may
presently be given by congress.
When notes issued under the Sherman
act are presented and paid In coin they
are paid notes. Their reissue is not man
datory under that act, only permiasivs
In case the government should be short
Of money to pay current expenses
The revenue Is now sufficient to meet
all current expenditures and will soon
be In exoess hence 1t follows that when
Sherman notes have once been paid they
cannot be lawfully reiasued. because by
such executive act a new loan or bor-
rowing Of money would ensue.
Many Of the Sherman notes are doubt
less in bank reserves. They could be
gathered In by the banks and presented
for payment tn gold. This would put
the banks on gold basis. It could be
undertaken at the rate Of go, 600, 600
per month. The gold needed would
either be retained from our own rapidly
increasing product on from the gold
waiting safe Investments in Europe.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29
ATKINSON'S PLAN,
HOW HE WOULD PAY OUTSTANDING
NOTES AND CERTIFICATES.

The Ohlcial Treasury Statement IL Not .
value-No Deduction Made For Claims
Against the Government.
The following statement has been pre-
pared by Mr.. Edward Atkinson. In his
opinion the official statement, issued
monthly, is not now and has not for 30
years been true one, in that it includes
as assets silver bullion at its cost price,
when, in fact, it is worth only about
two-thirds Of this amount. It also makes
no deduction for notes outstanding which
are claims against the government treas
ury:
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29
Similar.

Cynicus-My wife would like you to
send around a quart Of pauperized milk.
Milk Dealer-I guess you mean pas
teurized milk.
Cynicus-Very we'll, but I presume
there ism t much difference.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29
The Mean Thing.

Maude-Do you know Mr.. Jiuks faint
ed last night at the dance and would
have fallen If hadn't caught him in
my arms3
Ethel Slightly jealous)-Yes; he told
me that he'd been suffering from the
effects Of the grip
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29
NOTICE TO CREDITORS,
In THE MATTER OF THE ESTATE OF MATS ERIC
SOY PUSSILA, DECEASED.

In THE MATTER OF THE ESTATE OF MATS ERICK-
SOB PUssILA, DECEASED.
Notice is hereby given by the undersigned,
Frank Gustevison, administrator of the es-
tate of Mats Erickson Pussila, deceased, to
creditors of, and all persons having claims
against, said diseased. TO exhibit them, with
necessary vouchers, within twelve months af-
or the first publication of this notice, to said
administrator ut his residence in Township
seventeen north of Range Nine west of Will
iamette Meridian, the same being the place for
The transaction of the business of said estate in
Chchalis county, Washington.
Dated this 18th day of July. 1885,
FRANK GUSTEvISON,
Administrator.
J. C. Cross, Attorney for Administrator.
Date of first publication, July Is, 1895.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29
ABERDEEN MARKETS.
Prices are given as of day Of publication, an
are subject to market changes during the weel

GROCERIES,, PROVISIONS, ETC.
Corrected by E. II. TANNER.
FLouR.-Washington, 81. 25 "a $50; CAL
ifornia, $3.75@$4.OO.
WMEAT-S5c per hundred.
OATs-White, side oats, 50@55c; COM
mon, 45@49c.
CnoP-$16.C0@ls.O0 per ton.
HAY-Timothy, baled, $11.00@$l2.0O.
Observation-Disclosures 60c cwt.
DAIRY PRoDUcE-Ranch butter, fresh
made, fancy, Acc per roll; California
pickle, 35c; Creamery, soc 10. Cheese,
l5c. Eggs, fresh, 15c per dozen.
SUGAR-Powdered and cube, 7H@8c |;
dry granulated, $3.50; golden G, 1920;
extra G, 81 60.
CoFFEE-Arbuckle's, 25c per ID; other
brands, 25@ 40c per III.
LARD-Pure lOc per ID.
JAPAN TEA-4Oc, Coo, 75c.
BREAKFAST BACoN-l0@12H per lb.
SUGAR-CURED HAMs-.13c per ID.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29

At either pole the intensity Of the So
lar heat is one-fourth greater than at
the equator, because at the pole the sun
shines during the whole "a hours
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29

Tacoma Markets.
WHOLESALE.
From West Coast Trade:
FLoUR-Standard, $2.l0@$3.0O.
BurrER-Creamery, 22c; dairy. lao
Ice; cooking, 1Oc.
Washington full, 13c; half
skim, 1Oc; California, S@10c.
EGGs.-strictly fresh ranch, 121a@13.
PouLrkY-Dressed chickens, 12c per
h.; ducks 1l@12c; geese Ice; turkeys
lC.; live chickens (spring). $4.OO@$4.50
per doz. ducks, *3.OO@3.50; geese, SIC
8.
VEGETABLES - Cabbages, California,
$1.5O@$l IS per GENITAL; potatoes, Yakima
$l2 per ton; home grown, $7@$S; Onions,
Silverskin, 81 % per GENITAL; Tnrnips, SOC
@75c per sack; Beets, 50c@75.
MuLsrUFFs-Bran, $1,000; shorts, $14 !;
rolled barley. $3.50; choppd feed, $14.0O
oils; chicken wheat, 1890.
OATs-Sound, $10@$22 per ton.
HAY-Iimothy, east of-the.mountains,
$lO.OO@l2.O0; Sound timothy. 5000
1000.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29

must have known life otherwise in
opochs long since fed, for in my veins
some orient blood Is red. and through
my thought are lotus blossoms blown
T. B. Aldrich.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29

FOR SALE.-Onc Of the finest quarter
blocks in North Aberdeen. Will he sold
at bargain If taken soon. Apply at this
office.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29

FoR SALE.-Onc hand skid1er in good
order, and 1875 feet of hali-inch wire cable.
See l.. +. Mayhall. If
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29

There are over rs foreigners to the
square mile in the state Of New York.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29

The Sahara Is 80 named from tho Ar.
abio word signifying desert"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29
MEAT AND LIVE STOCK.

Corrected by II, STOECKE.
BEEF-Live weight, first.class steers,
2@2lac.
MUTToN-Live weight, 21a@3c.
HoGs-Lhve weight, first-class, 4@41aC
SrocK CArrLE-Average $l0@$20 per
head.
BULLS AND STAGs-11ac per 10.
Dry Cows-2@21ac per 10.
CALvEs-I.ive weight, 3@4c per ID.
LAMBs-$1 .O0@$2.OO per head.
PouLTRY-Domestic ducks, live, $3.50
rer doz. chickens, $4.00 per doz. geese,
$70O@$S.0O per doz. turkeys, 121ac per
pound.
TALLow-5c per ID.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29
Wanted to Knov Too Mucl,

Wanted to Know Too Much.
Broncho Bill-Whatcher shoot de ten
derfoot fer?
Firewater Jake-W'y. do kid he'd
uerve ter az me where I got five aces!-
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1895-08-29
A Neat H0nle:

a six room house, with bath room, sink Closets all in g
condition, with its SYSTEM This house. with two
for $3.50, will trade for horses wagon and harness.
young cattle.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1895-05-04
THE RISE IN SHOES.
Tho Continued Advance In tho Prico OF
Leather ResponAibis for It.


Bosros, MASS, May 9.-Tho contcm.
plated advance In the price OF shoes for
tho fall season, which waa q result OF a
meeting OF tho manufacturers In this
city fcw daya ago, Ia creating consider.
able dissatisfaction In shoo circlos all
over tho country. Especially Ia this tho
caso whorc jobbors and retailers have
taken contracts, rolylns upon tho pros.
ont prices a. n basis.
A representative OF tho Associated
Press visited some OF tho leading
leather firms in this city, and ropro-
sentative Of tho firm Of Chase, Merritt
& Co. gave tho following statement Of
tho cause Of tho advance in prices Of
shoes:
"Tho continued riso in tho price OF
leather, which is caused by lack Of
hides. Is responsible solely for tho con.
templated advance In tho prices. The
shoe manufacturers to-day don't want
to take orders; thoy simply desiro
to keep enough orders on hand to have
their machinery running They havO
made concessions so long that they
must stop 1t. aud no jobber or retailer
can place orders with manufacturer
to-day unless they pay M advance OF 10
per cent per pair"