Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1895-03-09
LIFE IN A HOTEL.
How a steam whistle Bcguiics che
NJ ~.

came so close to his house that they
caused 1t to rattle; since Judge fined a
brass band for contempt Of court sim.
ply because 1t played in the street out.
side the court house; since another
Judge announced that he would punish
any one guilty of whistling in the hall.
way; since some Of the humorous ma.
MACS who drive fast ut crossings have
actually been arrested and taken to po-
lice court; since policeman made him.
self worthy Of promotion by threaten
ing to club the arch flend who dropped
banana peel on the sidewalk-since all
these things have come to pass, Ger.
tain sufferer Is hoping that In some
manner the strong right arm OF the
law will suppress the steam whistle.
The sufferer Is bachelor and works
at his trade.
He lives in Chicago hotel, says the
Record; or rather he drags out one
weary day after another In futile ef.
fort to reform a hotel.
After man has lived ut hotels for
ten years all hotels are bad, and some
arc worse thnn others. He Is tired OF
the life, but he cannot, or will not, give
1t up.
The friend who calls upon him II
charmed with the apartments, and
frankly expresses his envy of one who
Is freed from oil domestic cares, who
can get his meals Mt any hour and has
all kinds Of service Mt the other end Of
IN electric wire.
But tho victim of the hotel habit will
assure his visitor that the arrangements
for heating are exccrablc, the bell.boys
are blue devils, the walters are stupid
anu the chambcrmaids ore hopelessl6
imbecile.
That's what comes Of being waited on
all through life. The coddling causes
indigestion and dlstcmper.
The sufferer Of whom some mention
has already been made frettcd enough
when tho annunciator was working
properly, and all the servants In the
house gallopcd to execute his orders.
He was In no condition 10 Withstand a
real affection.
One morning he was aroused from his
late slumbcrs by sound rs II all the
demons Of his broilcd-lobster dreams
had pounccd upon him and were shrek.
Ing into his cars. lie threw OF the
covers and sat up in bed to swcar-the
usual manner In which he relieved him.
self. The awful noise continued.
lie ran to the window. From the low
roof just across the alley arose furl.
Gus squirt Of steam. Tho place had put
In o new whistle! It was large and
made Of brass.
The noise ceased and he began to vent
his feelings, when the whistle broke
loose with new fury and kept at It fol
nearly minute.
Next morning at 8 o'clock he was sim
ilarly tortured, and he Immediately
packed his trunk md sent IN insulting
note to the manager of the hotel. say
Ing that he had secured apartments In
q boiler shop In Clinton street.
Then the manager called on the com
pany that owned the whistle and beg
gcd to have It suppressed. The company
was surprised that there should be any
objection to little whistling 30 late n
the morning. but It was agreed that the
engineer should DO warned.
On the following morning at 8 O'Clock
the whistle lot out one short and deaf
cning yclp and then stopped. The sui
fercr was asleep when the explosion
came. but 1t lifted him to one edge OF
the bed and left him with his head be
tween his hands. vowing that some ont
would suffer. He was going to move
right out, but of course nc didn't. Tht
man with tho hotel habit Ii always
threatening to 90 somewhere else.
After tho third morning he woult
find himself lying awake waiting fOl
tho whistle. He know It was coming
and yet It always surprised him by 1T
sudden and terrific shrek and left hin
unstrung. muttcring feeble curses.
Ono morning, instead Of stopping sud
denly, the whistle kept at 1t for wha
seemed an hour, sometimes pauslng fol
breath and then striking out In an
other key and shooting half way up ant
down tho octave. During this prolong
cd torture no ran wildly around hi
room, clad only In his pajamas, and dc
cldcd to kill the manager Of the hotel
. the engineer and all tho bell boys.
Once more the manager went to sc,
the people who owned the whistle, ant
they explained that 1t was all mis-
take, O substitute having been put Il
place Of the engineer.
The substitute had reformed bcfor
next morning. He gave the whist
four quick pulls and the sufferer fel
. rs II he had been hit at the base of tn
brain four times with something like
, hammer. The next morning no CAV
J two short pulls and one longer one. II
! week he had invented new variations
} and the man who wanted to sleep wa
kept In condition Of agonized curl
osity.
Then came New Years. The suffere
had retired early. At AS. on Dec. 81
the whistle began the star Performance
Of Its career. The engineer pulled
wide open and tied 1t there.
At 1855 a man half dressed tottcre
down to the hotel Office and asked tn
clerk to ring the police call or let hin
have gun, one or the other.
The clerk said 1t was holiday an
Everything went"
With that the sufferer dropped into
chair and sat US one who Is broken 4
spirit.
At 8 o'clock every morning his ncry
GUS system Is twisted into hard kno
and that's why he Is looking I'D the In,