River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-10-24
BABIES DON'T LIKE SURF.

But Fathers seldom Seem to Appreciate
This Fact.
Perhaps as interesting an amusement
as quiet man has a right 10 expect at
Coney Island. may be had by watching
the young ones who are taking their
first bath in the sea. Ninety-nine ont
of every hundred of them are actually
miserable and below and bawl in the
most interesting way. A crying baby,
which in the house woulo be a nerve
scraping horror. fzzles out at the sea
beach into mere toy with squawk
that has no carrying power.
The fathers and big brothers who
take the babies into the water haven't,
as rule, much more sense than the
young ones. They wade out with Jim
my or Susie whimpering and gripping
with all the strength of their little
arms and legs, and seualling whenever
the surf splsshes on them. The father
treasures them by saying: law, shut
up. you little FOOL amt a-goin' TO
kill yer" That more than ever con-
vinces the young one that a sudden and
sloppy death awaits it, and it howls
The father sets it down in the cold
water ur 10 it's waist 1t gasps while
waiting for the worst and walls: ~
want to go and see my mamma. Boo
hoo-hoo-hool'
''Oh, no; you must stay right here
with papa See all the people ont in
the water. They like it. Its nice"
mo, it amt 90! Ool Aggle-aggle-
yollop-pittueer' A big wave comes
along and tips the child over and fills
il full of sea water. Its ears are full
and it thinks it is drowning. and just
as it opens its mouth to hslloo MUIR
der!" the water rushes in and chokes
it OF all the nasty things sea water
is perhaps as nasty as it can be and
still be clean. The poor child retehes.
snorts. coughs and cries all at once.
The father laughs a mean, heartless
laugh that destroys the baby's faith in
mankind, and especially in its father.
While it is recovering itself and think
ing what fiend father can be when
he tries, it is held out of the water.
When he attempts to put il back
again there is a life and death strug-
gle. He conquers He is the stronger.
The child fights and squalls, and when
the kicking, struggling, scared crea-
ture gets into the water again it is
just in time to be drowned as before.
except that this time it swallows more
water. because it's lungs are nearly
empty. 1t is hauled out, half stranRled,
for it don't know how to keep the salt
water out of its mouth or from going
further. Either route the brine may
choose to take is likely to be extremely
unpleasant
About this time the father lose his
temper and slaps the young one. This
seems brutal, but it isn't noticed.
Things can not be any worse. blow
in the face don't matter when you are
being drowned. The mother. who is
standing on the beach, often interferes
at this point and jawing match lie be-
gun, which somebody else will hear
carried on all the way home on the
trolley car. Sometimes, she says moth
ing about her husbands laundering
clumsiness, remembering the time
when, as she verify believes, he tried
to drown her in teaching her TO swim.
lie always says she never was in wa
ter above her Waste, but she knows it
was over her head, because it went in
her ears and her feet were off
the ground, and how can water
get into a body's ears and your feet
be off the ground unless the water is
over your head? But she's not going
to begin all that over again now. SO
she says: ''Oh, yes; Susie must learn
to swim, like nice little girl
Nav! Nawi 1 don't want TO go in
any more. Wah-ah-ah-ahr' and they
have to take the wretched young one
out and dress it
After such a scare. it will be many a
day before that child can be coaxed
into the water again. Once hit, twice
shy. OF course, wise folk overcome a
child's natural fear of the water by
taking it where there is no serf at first
and coaxing it out further by degrees
Children seem to have the most fun
in the water, however. when they are
let alone.-N. Y. Period.