St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1895-01-02
MOnFORT IS BESIECED
By a Small But Eager Army
Of PpecoeiouS Street
Arabs,
WHO DEMAND A DINNER.
The Genial "Cunnel' Argues
With the Young
Leader,
THROWS UP THE SPONGE,
And Entertains the Army
With a Right Royal
Spread.


Monfort at the Windsor yesterday, and,
knowing of his generosity. demanded
New Years dinner. They marched into
the office in body, and "Slim" Billy
was the spokesman. The colonel was
in the midst of a heated argument on
the proper way to raise hair on the head
when the small army marched in and
confronted him.
Yer see, cunnel." said the spokes-
man, tive is kids wot's got nawthin, see?
an Wen desc yer hollydays comes
round we centrally gifts it in de neck.
Nawbuddy invites amy of us ter come
in an take a fill fer deresefs, an wese
now befer We awaitln' fer yer answer
"Well, WE'LL" calculated the colonel.
this is indeed novel method OF secur-
ing dinner"
He gazed in amusement at the pre-
=cOclOus street Arabs for moment, then,
bracing himself against the counter, he
assumed an air Of mock seriousness, and
said:
Gentlemen, while was not prepared
for your coming. still am glad to see
you. 1t may be that your demand Is
unjust, and 1t may be that it is a reason
able one, but we may as well discuss the
matter so as to be able to arrive at
satisfactory conclusion"
'Wot's th' use 'rivin?' interrupted
Slim. "Wese all yer. as we kin see fer
yerself."
Very true. Mr.. Chairman" replied
the colonel, but desire you to explain
to me the grounds upon which you base
your demand"
This staggered the outfit, and they
gaZed yacantly at each other. They
withdrew to a corner of the Office to
consult, while the colonel and score of
friends laughed hllariously at the stu
alton. odd as it was.
Presently Slim approached the colo
mel earnestly, and, gesticulating with
the abandon and awkwardness charac-
teristic of the "newsy," said:
1--WE doan jes git next ter yer spiel.
cunnel, but we'se got tn idee that
y'aint in with it. Now, yer see, wese
kids wot amt got red, see? an benz
ez th' days bloody cold an yer full of
feed up yer, we tot we'd take a shy at
yer anyway an git de bes' we could,
see? faint goin' ter cost yer nawthin',
cause we own de buildin' an de hull
blame bizness. Now, We see, ct amt
agoin' ter hurt none of de guys wot lives
yer, an some O. these yer days wen yer
busted an amt got cent. why some Of
de push III black yer skates fer nawth-
in, see."
''Are you all American citizens?'
asked the colonel, solemnly.
owe is" was the reply, "'ceptin,' of
cose, Sheeny Ike an Dago Tony an
Mike the Bite, volts standin' in the cor
ner. Dey is all born in de old country,
see? But dere faders has taken out
dere papers. see? An de kids is de kids
of dere faders, see?"
''You think, them" said the co lionel,
"that you are entitled to dinner?'
Entitled" staggered Slim, but he
came right back.
"We tinks," he said, "dat we Is hun
cry an dat we orter have de feed, see?"
The laughter of the crowd prevented
the colonel from replying for time, but
when he got all opportunity he turned
towards the army, and, using their own
language, said:
IF all Of you gentlemen will swear
that for the next year you won't give
anybody the worst of it, and promise me
to quit scrapping, Pll set up the feed for
the crowd"
The promise was made with vim,
and as the fast-gathering crowd COL
lected about the small army, the colonel
went out to the kitchen and ordered
dinner for the push. The dinner was
spread in the ordinary half an hour
later, and while it was being prepared
the boys reaped harvest amongst the
assembled guests, all of who m suddenly
discovered that they wanted their shoes
shined, and, In fact, needed morning
paper, too. The boys had sold out their
stock entire and had shined fifty pairs
of shoes when the "cuunel" announces
dinner was ready, and led the way to
the room where 1t was spread. 1t was
before, and they simultaneously yelled
''Holy smokeW when they caught the
first glimpse of the table. 1t didn't take
long to start them off. and two wait
resses were placed In the room to see
that proper amount of decorum was
observed at the table. 1t was a feast
long to be remem bered, and when it was
over. along toward O'Clock, the boys
marched in body around to the front
counter. and sought the "cunnel."
When they found him Slim removed
his cap and said:
Say, Cunnel. ct wuz bully. an yer a
brick of de highest water, see? Dey
amt nawthin wot this yer buildin'
wants an it can't have eff yer on y says
de word. We Is yer frens, see.
The boys gave three cheers and
marched away.
1t appears that the colonel has in the
house two or three friends who love a
practical joke. They collected the boys
and put them up to approach the colonel
and demand dinner. The colonel was
eql9I To the AmArCab6v