Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-12-09
JUST FOR FUN.

What most people seem "
fun at somebody else's expense
1t is getting so that it requires nara
work to get along without work.
81 can not vote,'' she walled. mel
Their can the BABY said he, "ouU uhaC
doesn't alter the fact that he is ooss.
Mamma - Why did you give 0ne
baby that drum? Papa-Because he
makes less noise when he has the
drum"
A Maine editor has sent little Mar
ion Cleveland poodle. Most or the
editors have been giving her father
pointers.
Little four year old Ray, being ask
ed WHY he did not put his knife in his
pocket. replied, "My pocket hasn't
got any floor in it.''
eTt,s a terrible thing to get mar
ried.D said a mother to her daughter.
"Yes.n said the daughter, 'but us a
terrible thing not to-"
Porter-Trains ava, man. 4e shoulo
haze ran faster. Passenger-Ran lasC-
arr bod. "a ran fast enough, but a.
should haze startit sooner.
s.This is a sad world" said the pes
simistic boarder. "Isn't it though?''
eurgled the cheerful idiot. EVEN
the heavens get blue over it,"
"Mamma, amt Deacon Dalton a
funny MANI" ''Why, Jimmy, what
did he do?,' Gin church, to-day, he
took his hat around and showed 1t to
everybody.
Hotel Visitor Now, are you sure
this bed is quite clean? Servant-Yes,
sir: the sheets were only washed this
morning. Just feel them; they amt
dry yet.
Nesbitt-I understand that your son
at Harvard is quite literary charac-
ter. Planter-Oh, yes; he commenc-
ed writing for money before he hao
been there three weeks.
sDon't you find it rather lonely
here? asked Cholly, with nobody TO
talk to? Yes, she replied, with va
cant look into space; and it's gettlne
worse every minute.
A mortal can never tell where mes
going to be next in life, SAID the NOR
alist. No, replied the man with a oahd-
age over his eye, especially II mes
learning to ride bicycle.
Paternity boy, when [ was youl
age, I was at my desk att O'Clock II
the morning. Son-That may be, gu
T know the business is perfectly SAFE
in your hands, even when am away
eff a man gets his knee broken
where should he go?'' ITO AFRICA
where the ne-goes." ''lt woman
breaks her knee, where should she go!'
s.To Jerusalem, where the she ney'
grow"
Little Fred, visiting in the country
and seeing for the first time PAIR
oxen attached to cart, ran IN 10 III
mother, exclaiming, 90, mamma
mammal Come out and see this Gov
| buggy SOluS NY
Dog Fancier-Yes, madam, L EaV
all kinds of dogs here. LIS there an.
particular kind you wish? Ola lao.
(who reads the papers)-Oh, anythln!
that's fashionable. Let me see al
ocean greyhound.
Husband-I have made all softs
sacrifices for you. Now what did yo
ever give up for me? Wife What oil
I ever give up for you? Well, L new
err! Why, I gave up half dozen Q
the incest young men in town.
ct will follow you to the utmos
ends of the earth!" Kissed the Vlllal1
mo you WON'T" said the heroine
calmly. "Why won't I?' queried tn
villain, aghas- at her GOODNESS. "Be
cause Pm not going there" she re
piled.
"The trouble with this tooth,'' sal
+ the dentist, probing it with lons
slender instrument, sis that the nerV
is dying" "It seems to me, doctor,
groaned the victim, "you ought
treat the dying with little more re
spect."
An engineer, saying the life of l.
connective was only 80 years, passe1
ger remarked that such tough looE
ing thing ought to live longer tina
that. Well, responded the enginee
perhaps it would if it did not smoH
so much.
Last Christmas eve Mr.. j. went
stairs TO see if the children had hu1
ND their stockings for Santa Claus,a1
. found that little Fred had pinned b
up in a prominent place with slip