davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-10-24
Parried by a Joke.

One of Henry Clay's most formidable
one-armed man, for many years mem
Kentucky opponents was John Pope, a
Der of Congress. and at one time Uni
ted States Senator. He was once run
ming against Mr.. Clay in the Lexington
district, and the contest was close and
exciting.
As election day approached, Mr.. Clay
heard that an Irishman in Lexington,
who had always been one Of his polit-
zeal supporters, had announced his pur-
pose to vote for Mr.. Pope. Mr.. Clay
went to see him, and inquired the rea-
son.
Faith, Mr.. Clay" said the man, IAN
I've concluded to vote for the man who
has only one arm to thrust into the
treasury"
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-10-24
How He Broke the Ice.

Many diffident persons find the be-
ginning of a conversation awkward,
especially on ceremonious occasions
and with strangers. Sometimes, how
ever, the beginning is not half so awk-
ward as what comes afterward.
According to story in Punch, bash
full young man said to lady at din
ner party:
''I've got to take you In to dinner,
Miss Travers, and I'm rather afraid OF
you. you know. Mrs. Jolibois tells me
you're very clever"
The young lady was naturally anus
ed by this display Of simplicity.
II "How absurd!' she exclaimed. "Tm
not bit clever"
The man heaved a sigh Of relief, and
said: t 5,
'Well, do you know, l thought you
weren't"
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-10-24
The Upas Not Deadly.

The nonsense about the poisonous
exhalations Of the upas tree were dis
sipated long ago. 1t Is, however, a good
old myth, with many variants in folk
lore. Professor Weisner believes that
the upas tree Is the Antiras toxicaria,
to be found In Java. There is one spe-
cies, the innoxia, which Is harmless,
whereas drop Of the disipated juice
of the toxicaria will kill dog. Any
how, there are quite number Of the
so-called upas trees growing in the
botanical garden of Java, and you may
walk around the grove In the most
comfortable manner.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-10-24

cost Of Building and Sailing the cuD
Contestants
When Lord Dunraven expressed him
self not long ago as In favor Of reduc-
ing the load water line Of future cup
contestants from ninety to seventy
two feet, he doubtless had In mind the
enormous sum OF money which 1t cost
to build and maintain 50-foot racing
sloop. Few persons have any idea of
the amount 1t now requires to conduct
an International race, and 1t would
doubtless surprise many to know that
the cost of the present series Is not far
from half million dollars.
To begin with the Defender The cost
of her shapely hull is said to be. about
$4,000, Her four suits of sails coss ap-
proximately $4,000, and the value Of
her spars is $4,000. Thus the actual
cost of merely. building the cup De-
fender was 100000. But that Is not
all. A training ship cost $4,000; a ten
der $4,000; wages, clothing and feeding
of her crew for four months $4,000;
bonuses 5000; towing bills, $1,000;
and $1,000 more for docking. To these
amounts must be added $1,000 in con-
veying the Defenders fittings by ex-
press. instead of freight, and $4,000
for repairs and odds and ends, making
the total cost of building and sailing
the Defender $4,000.
The Valkyrie Is not such an expen-
sive boat. No exact figures are obtain
able in regard to the cost Of building
and maintaining her, but competent
experts figure that the total amount
expended in connection with her will
not exceed 100000.
Thus 1t will be seen that the two
boats themselves, their construction
and equipment make total expendl-
ture of $266,000. To this must be added
the $4,000 which Commodore George
Gould laid out In tuning the Vigilant
up to be a trial horse for the Defender,
and taking $1S5,000 as the total SUM
laid out in connection with the chal-
lenge, trial races, entertainment and
similar items, the cost of the interna-
tional races of 1895 will be seen to
amount to fully 100000.
The Americas cup is worth now not
more than $3.50. but fully $1,OOO,000
has been expended in keeping it on this
side of the water since the America
won 1t in 1851.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-10-24
DOWN TO BUSINESS.

compensation, before applying for an,
other weeks wander license; they may
abuse that license by confidence tricks
and petit larceny, but the American
thoroughbred rejects by-trades even In
that form. He loves the art OF uncom-
promising vagrancy for arts sake; and
as long as he can walk and beg, neither
stimulates his appetite with manual
labor nor lets the peace of his digestion
be troubled by the Nemesis Of crime.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-10-24
HER CHALLENGE.
She Downed All Corners Until the Man
with Baseball Lingo Spoke up.

She Downed All Corners Until the Man
with Baseball Lingo Spoke up.
II am the peer of any man!'
As she uttered these words OF proud
defiance Finda Saycal drew herself to
her full height and scornfully gazed
at the group of savants who surrounded
her. All but one Of the throng cringed
before her as If acknowledging her
claim, so great was her erudition, so
masterful was her manner.
The one who cringed not was hardly
a savant. He was professional base
ball umpire, with a large aggressive
looking pompadour and black eyes that
regarded her with look Of confident
cunning.
One by one the savants questioned
her. She answered queries in French,
German, Russian, Italian, Spanish, Por-
tuguese, Chinese, Japanese and Norwe-
gian. She read Greek, Latin and He
brew at sight, and she called Sanskrit
"easy."
Gentlemen" she pleaded at last,
"try to make 1t more interesting for
me. This is mere kindergarten work"
do your worstr she said, mocking-
ly. There Is nothing l cannot under
stand"
What? Nothing?"
1t was the umpire with the aggressive
pompadOur aud the keen, cunning eyes
who spoke. There was cynical smile
on his lips.
Nothing! Nothing!'
She repeated the words as defiantly
as eyeryobut there was a startled look
in her eyes, as If she knew she pos
sessed one vulnerable point and feared
he had found 1t.
Nothing in English would puzzle
you, l suppose?"
"Chaucer without glossary or
Browning without key, of course"
she sneered, "but just try me. And as
for magazine poetry, can tell what il
means when it doesn't mean anything.
There is nothing l cannot understand"
what, then, does this mean?
Taking from his pocket a morning
paper he read aloud: "Nichols found the
leather for the left field fence. Lowe
cracked single, sending Nichols to
second. Long smashed a corking two
Dagger through Eddie Burke, and the
cranks had heart failure as two Of the
Beaneaters sprinted across the plate.
Rusie's next ball twisted like an elon-
gated bedspring, but Duffy pushed his
bat against ii for q single He fell
asleep on first, however, and was nail
ed by big Amie's catapult throw.
fuckers pop fly was pie for Davis,
and Nash famed the ether three times,
sending Beantown to the field. The
Giants were goose egged In their half.
Rus.e banged twister with whiskers
on it to the infield but the leather beat
him out at first Tiernan fouled. STAFF
ford touched Nichols for three bags,
but died when Farrell popped fly"
Pausing, the umpire transfixed the
new woman with triumphant eyes that
seemed to burn into her very soul.
"What does that mean?" he demand
ed.
With shrek Of despair Finda Saycal
fell to the floor.
Lost! Lostw she moaned.
The baseball reporters lingo was the
one thing on earth she could not under
stand.-Louisville Commercial.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-10-24

and blossomed out into types adapted
to every virtue and every foihle OF the
charitable public. There is the tragedy
tramp, who harrows the souls OF SYM
pathetic servant girls with tales Of
woe, and spices his jereminds with
graphic accounts Of recent railway hor-
rors. shIpwreck and cyclod8. often
vindicating his habit Of veridict.on with
bundles OF greasy testimonials. He can
sigh, too, but refrains from tears, since
his experience with the Detroit apple
woman: Madam, may sit down here
and weepw mo, you don't. Police!
quick! policer'
Artfui Dodgers.
The ped,ller tramp's application for
cold viands are always preceded by an
attempt at commercial transactions.
''Need any needles, madam" mo. SIR"
"Any pinsY Don't want them"
Buy some matches, please; only Sc
box" "Oh, pshaw-they're nickel for
three boxes at the next-door grocery"
"All right" CLOSING his satchel with a
look of sanity resignation. Never
saw such hard times; oh, madam-say,
couldn't you spare fellow scrap of
anything to eat?" The Chesterfield
tramp introduces himself with bow
and a paragraph of classic English,
seasoned, perhaps, with flavor Of for
eign accent; evidently gentleman In
reduced circumstances; or, who knows,
perhaps a French count, or poet, for
tune-wrecked in struggle with the
prosaic realities Of the New World.
Is he going to negotiate loan? What!
only &c, for paper and envelope and
foreign postage? Why. of course; give
him a dime, to make ii a round sum.
Then there Is the proxy tramp, who
turks around the corner, while run
away yOungster does the begging for
him; the gregarious tramp, who trav-
els in gangs, trusting to the strength
the blackguard tramp, who terrorizes
unprotected housekeepers with scowls
and hints at his talent for brutal in
vectives and inuendoes. "rell the old
woman to come down here" Little
girl after brief interview with the
materfamalias)-"My mother says she
Is sorry she can't see YOU" Cant
see me-what's the reason? Is she
blind" Then next door, where he is
met by a silver-haired clergyman: "Can
you give a man a cold snackT "Why,
now, that's too bad; all my folks are
out. and there's nothing left from din
ner." Hands nickel, then" "Well,
that's just the trouble-my wife took
my purse along" "Can't you find
scrap of cold lunch?" mo, / told you;
there's nothing left over from dinner"
"Any apples?' sour cellar is so wet
we can't keep them in this warm wealth
er." "Oh, that's it? Now, look here,
old man; would ask We for drink Of
water, If wasn't sure you'd swear on
stack of Bibles that your cistern
froZe up last night"
But the most Enthusiastically Amer
lean variety of the species is the pro-
fessional tramp, who has firmly made
up his mind to die behind hedge rath-
er than accept a chance for any kind
of work. under any circumstances. The
gypsies, the representative Migrants Of
Southern Europe. have half dozen by
trades. They tinker, they tell fortunes,
they buy and sell horses. The jour-
neymcn artisans of France and Ger
many are compelled by law to work
a month steady, even at a minimum
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-10-24
In Pablo.

There is no better criterion Of mans
breeding than the way he conducts him.
self at theater party. If he ignores
the performance. and keeps up little
comedy of his own by laughing and
talking, and thus disturbing everybody
around. him, you may safely set him
Town as a cad. AS rule, when the
heater cad goes by himself he Is quiet
enough. But going in party seems to
have an intoxicating effect upon him,
and he avails himself OF 1t as an op-
portunity to show what he really Is.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-10-24
Hinder the Sea.

The progress Of photography under
the sea, by means of the newly devised
magnesium Lght-a marvel of ingenu.
ity-may justly be described us some
thing wonderful, though the timing Of
the exposures is said to still present
one Of the most serious difficulties yet
to be overcome.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-10-24
A Savings Bank Incident.

Richard Roe deposited sos in the
Bowery Savings Bank in New York,
between 1886 and 1S49. Between 1885
and 1856, $753.S9 were withdrawn.
When the last draft was made the de.
positor's book appeared to be over
drawn 81. There were due Roe at that
time, however, dividends amounting to
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-10-24

Mrs. sweet-Do you find it economl-
cal to do your own cooking? Mrs. Burn
em-Oh, yes; my husband doesn't eat
half as ruch as when we had a cook
Yonkerr etatesmaE
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-10-24

why Denver's Houses Arc 80 Fine.
Kate Field, who is out In Denver, Ia
very much impressed with Its lovely
characteristics, especially as manifest
ed In its fine houses. Every miner
who strikes 1t rich, she says. comes to
Denver, seeks an architect and orders
n house built, merely saying, eBeat, all
creation and d-n the expense" Thus
she accounts for the beautiful homes
Of the city of the great divide.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-10-24

"That racehorse Of yours seems well
broke" said the man who stands
around and looks on. EYES," replied the
melancholy owner Of the animal; "but
he isn't as well broke as am."-wash.
ington Star.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-10-24
THE ANERICANTRAM
sOaaE CHARACTERISTIC TYPES
OF THESE vAcABONDS.
csmbination OF circuustances that Il
Evolving Novel Varieties Of Aneri-
can Nomads = Wandering while
nesndering Mike and PIoddins Pete.


Our North American tramp nuisance
has more than once been ascribed to
ire climatic influences Of continent
which, for ages, remained a haunt OF
nomadic hunters. but the truth seems
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-10-24

10 be that the Industrial classes Of all
ages and all countries have been annoy
ed BY the manifestations Of an instinct
which. In the United States, has been
developed by an unparalleled combina-
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-10-24
HUMOR OF THE WEEK
STORIES TOLD az FUNNY MEN
or THE PRESS.

Odd, cnrious aud sI.eyEhetis 49,
Of Human Nature GfsphfeSliS Fcf
-rayed by Eminent Word Artists Of
Our Own Day-A Budget of Finn.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-10-24

1t Is difficult to humiliate woman
who wears boomers.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-10-24

Indiana is very rich State; Its prop
erty Of all kinds reaching total Of
$727, $751;
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-10-24

Nous travellers to accept temporary
berth On the roustabout deck in con-
sideration Of their assistance at wood
pile work. and the crew rarely grudges
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-10-24

Every man likes to suggest what the
other fellows shall do.
Omaha daily bee., 1895-04-21
OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

ganize the Theosophical society which tbex
watch over and protect. All the members ~
thls brotherhood have lived thousands NJ
years. VI
Notwithstanding that about 95 per cent NJ
the members Of the Theosophical society hold
these and other beliefs, the society as a soci
ely holds no doctrines of any kind Undar
the constitution the society cannot be COM
mlttei to any dogma, even If belief in IL
shouid be unanimous. But as individuals its
members can hold any belief man NAV be
buddhist, Christian, Jew, Mohammedan or
Spirltualist, and eXpound his beliefs But he
must subscribe to the doctrine of universal
brotherhood, which means that all men are
D'others by virtue of being sons of one God
ana that all religions must be tolerated There
Is also no distinction as to sex or color in the
society, negroes being considered as POSSESS
ing souls as well as white men. From this
IL would seem there would be a great diversity
OF belief among the members. But the con-
trary is the fact. The teachings of the mys-
terlous brotherhood whom Nine. Blayatsky
represented are peculiarly synthetic and har-
monlzlng and show, as theosophists believe
mat the various religions on earth are only
dlHerent expressions of a common doctrine
one truth clothed I'm various garments 1t is
claimed that the three views above enumer-
ated were taught, though in yelled form. by
all the great religious teachers and philoso-
pliers.
Omaha daily bee., 1895-04-21

and blue coverings, and the liaDollcal red
mask of Mephistopheles uncovers cookbook
ing youthful face. Maybe Low the little
Spring discovers to her CONSERVATION that she
has been flirting with an entire stranger,
and the velvet Toreador finds that his lovely
Carmen Is past forty, but these things cannot
be helped. The chaperones hop anxiously
around, clucking to their brood. The dining
rooms are filled to overfowing, and the
walters have to strain all their nerves
| am told there are many distinguished
people present, well known authors and
journalists, any number of noted artists, some
favorite actresses, and swarms of counts and
barons with their ladies.
| wander around little longer, watching
the masqueraders as they dance, and prone
made and drink champagne, and then, being
informed that the carriage is waiting, fetch
my wraps, declining the invitation Of my
party to choice supper, and take my de-
parture from the House Beautiful Outside
the night Is chilly and dark, and a few per-
sistent hangers-on loaf around the stairs
From the inside bursts of music, the sound
of dancing feet, and peals OF laughter greet
the ear.
And as / lean back in the carriage un-
buttoning my gloves and humming the air
Of the Champagne Gaop, think of the Jolly
prince, the beautiful princess, the dear little
Pierrettes, the dim boudoirs, the inspiring
music, and wish I'd stayed
INGEBORG ANDREWS.
Omaha daily bee., 1895-04-21
THEOsoPHiC1L CONTENTION.

Have you lived on earth before?
On April rs next a convention Of people
who think they have will be held in Boston
The theosophiss of America will hold their
annual meeting. 1t was not many years age
that tine conventions Of the Philosophical So
ciety were small affairs, attracting little at
tention. Not 30 now. Like Masonry, theoso-
ply has taken root all over the world. and
this within the short period OF nineteen years
for the society was organized only I'm 1875
In America alone there are now 101 branches
Canada, South America, the West Indies and
the Hawaiian islands belong to America ac-
cording to the theosophical map and will be
represented at the convention. In Canada
there are half dozen branches, in Honolulu
one. in Grenada, b. w. L. one. and in Peru
one. There are also thcOsOphists in Mexico,
but, not existing as an organized society
there, they will not have delegates
When this fin de steele convention will have
adjourned cultured Boston will have some
thing to think about for the rest OF the year.
Here are some OF the main beliefs of theos-
ophy, which will be discussed.
/. Man lives many lives on earth.
2. II he is happy or unhappy In this life
II is because he Is having measured to him
what he meted to others in former life.
3. A secret brotherhood OF perfected men
exists, with headquarters in Tibet and has
branches all over the world. All Of it's mem
bers are men OF the Christ and Buddha type.
They have the power Of assuming any form
and OF transporting themselves to the most
distant places on earth at will, and though
they mingle constantly with men, are seldom
recognized, They sent Nine. Blayatsky TO or
Omaha daily bee., 1895-04-21
COSSUBI.iLITIES.

James Harper of Hat Creek Va, a
widower with seven children, and Mary Fos-
ter, widow with fourteen, have united their
fortunes and families
L. Il. Pratt, son of the president of the
college at Honolulu and Miss Helen Augusta
Dixon, niece of Chief Justice Judd of the
Sandwich islands were married in New
York recently. Mr. Pratt is q lawyer and
will reside at Columbus, o.
Mr.. George Curzon, who is to marry Miss
Letter, was looked upon as one of the most
eligible bachelors IN London society. He
Is 36, the eldest son of a baron, who is also
clergyman and the patron OF five livings.
lie is one OF the young men who are listened
10 In the House OF Commons.
Miss Brice, daughter of the Ohio senator,
Is reported engaged to Henry Outram Bnx-
lronsides, second secretary Of the British
embassy.
Miss Maud A. Burke, daughter of the late
G. f, Burke of New York, whose betrothaI
to Sir Bache Cunard is announced was en-
gagged about year ago for brief period to-
Prince Andre Poniatowski. A few months
after the rupture of that engagement Prince
Poniatowsh became engaged to marry Miss
Betty Sperry. sister Of Mrs. William IL.
Crocker Of San Francisco.
Two Louisville swains, instead OF fghtlng
over their lady love, settled their bootless
rivalry by selling the girl to Woodford
county wife hunter and divided the proceeds
equally between themselves.
Never has the marriage season Immediately
following Easter in New York been so gor-
geous as 1t is now. Archbishop Corrigan has
no less than nineteen magnificent weddings
TO oftciate at between now and the end of
May, while Bishop Potter has near a score-
The florists are doing a roaring business and
the jewelers. find the demand for wedding
presents very hard one to fll. The Bur-
dens, the Vandorblts, the Marquands tho
Gerrys, the Wetmores, in fact every one in
society has some relation or other soon to
wed.
Della Fox has come to stay It's the best
Omaha daily bee., 1895-04-21
THE COPENHAGEN CARNIVAL
Description of the Annual Mardi Gras OF
the Danish Metropolis.
FUN, FRoLlc AND FANTASTIC FIGURES
Marvellous Beauty of the Decorations and
Tableaux, Quaint Costumes and Be-
witching Baliot-Memorial Incl
dents OF Night of Mirth.

COPENHAGEN March 20.-(Correspond-
ence of The Bee.)-The Artists and Stu
dents carnival was coming. The ''students?'
Yes, in Denmark there is only one univer-
sity, that al Copenhagen, and all who have
taken the examinations preparatory for 1t
are called students" They form a wide
spreading union OF not little Importance
from the times when they as body helped
to defend Copenhagen against the Swedes
and the Englshmen to later years of stu
dents societies. students sorees. students
debating clubs, and students rarnlTais.
Well, the artists and students associations
have usually each a carnival every year,
but this winter IT was decided to unite their
forces and give Joint great carnival
Whether the idea was to make II more
splendid affair or to attract more people, l
do not know; probably both considerations
were prominent. All who desired the pleas
ure of getting an expensive costume and
frolicking in a mask few hours had to be
introduced" as they say, by member Of
one OF the two associations beside paying
quite a fair price for the privilege. In this
manner 1t is made possible to have a choice
assembly, and, though the carnival is in
one way public, the attendance is restricted.
Copenhagen is n city Of pleasure seeking
and amusements, and finds its match no
Where, i DeleVe, except perhaps IN IariS.
And as for the annual carnival why, one
would think Copenhagen was inhabited by
hot-blooded Italians, insabad Of the tradi-
tionally cool and steady northmen.
Weeks before the great event was to take
place the papers began to disclose the plans
and doings of the committee. Then appeared
enthusiastic descriptions of the decorations
proposed, the names OF the artists employed,
the ballet. etc until all Copenhagen was wild
with excitement, and Carnival, Carnival,
Carnival" stared at one from the editorial
columns, filled the shop windows, crowded
the advertising pages. and buzzed about
you wherever you went, II is said that one
of the modisjes employed sixty extra seam
stresses the two weeks before the carnival
and the shops Nefe making money on silks
and tarlatans, fans, spangles and all the be-
longings Of fancy dress But then, 1000
people In all were going; they came from all
the country, and even Sweden was repre-
sented. The fortunates who were going
neglected all else. and the unfortnnates who
had TO stay at home could not sleep at night
thinking about their unhappy lot.
SKIRMISHING FOR A TICKET.
AS for myself. having the carnival dinred
into my ears from morning till night, i, too
caught the craze, and. two days before the
day, decided to 60. Then came time Of
rushing and "hustling." In the first place
Il proved almost impossible TO get ticket
owing to the lists having already beer
closed, though when the president Of the
committee heard ! wanted to 60 for the