The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-07-07
sEAsONAnLE ADVICE.
To Gentlemen Intending a Stay at a
Summer Resort This Season.

From Life.
When starting for the resort which you
intend to honor with your presence be
sure that you have at least eight trunks.
You may find it difficult to fill them all.
but your wife may be counted on to assist
you, and by taking along a winter ulster
and hall rug or two it can be managed.
The surplus baggage will cost you a trife
more for transportation. but the extra
expenditure is fully justified by the SEN
sation your arrival will produce AS for
the porters, just announce to them care
lessly that you will see them later; this
saves wear and tear on your trunks, and,
besides, gives the porters something to
live for
1t is probable that you will discover,
shortly after your arrival, something that
displeases you, which necessitates what is
technically known as a complaint" To
complain is one thing, but to complain well
requires study. Always approach the Of
fee shortly after dinner, when the lobby
is well filled; wear a calm but panied ex-
preston; lean over the desk confdentially
and speak as loud as possible; this pleases
the clerk. Be sure to compare the oc-
currence of the displeasing affair to the
excellent management of the hotel which
you put up the previous summer and DO
not neglect to threaten to give up your
rooms at the end Of the week il the thing
occurs again. Above all, keep your voice
raised; the rest of the guests will be in
terested After placing the clerk in
state of nervous prostration, saunter care
iessly away with the final request to "have
it attended to Immediately" This never
fails of effect
If you have your own horse and coach
man with you. it is advisable TO make the
fact known. If the office is connected with
the stables. by telephone, ask permission
to give your own order. Do ii in this
manner: Ring the bell violently; when
you have attracted attention say, in
voice sufficiently loud to be heard outside
on the veranda: Hello! What? Hello,
hello! Send Mr. Snobleigh's man to the
phone--ah-er--hello! Is that you James?
What? Well, this is Mr.. Snobleigh. Put
the bays in the surrey, James, and bring
them around right away. And James,
put in the heavy robe. And, James,
my daughter win want the gray in the
Stanhope at 4 sharp. What? Yes, the
Stanhope, sharp. That's all" Ding,
ding.
1t is advisable to emphasize your social
prominence by retiring to the billiard room
Immediately after dinner, in case there is
only one billiard table and holding poses
sion of the same throughout the evening.
This will ensure you the respect of your
less fortunate acquaiAtances and also per,
feet them IN that greatest of all virtues,
patience.
You will have your bill placed among
your mail at the end Of each week. When
calling for the latter, sort it over be-
fore leaving the office, and return the bin
with a nonchalant: Never mind that
now; just place it back in the box, win
you?' By doing this for several days
YOU will gain the love and esteem of the
management.
Audible remarks derogatory to the fish
or game are very telling and stamp you
at once as a connoisseur. The fact that
they are excellent need not deter you from
stateing them to be vile. Never let a day
pass without sending back the soup or
game Remark. succinetly TO the rest of
the table that not one chef in a hundred
knows how to roast bird. In this way
you will soon acquire the reputation of an
epicure.
1t is an excellent idea to drop into the
managers private Office as often as-once'
in every week for a little talk. Be careful
tosselect a time when you know him to be
busy: never mind If he appears disturbed;
your visit Will afford him needed rest
from the cares and worry Of his business.
Open the conversation by observing quite
tovially that it must be quite a trick to
look after a. house Of this size" He will
appreciate this remark for its refreshing
originality. But should his countenance re-
main unfrendly facetiously add that you
suppose he will be a rich man by the end
of the season at the prices he is getting"
After letting drop a few gems of advice
regarding the Improvement Of the cuisine,
hand him a cigar and retiring gracefully
after promising to iook in againsin day
or So