Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-09-20
SOME QUEER NAMES.
FOUND eY A CURIOUS MAN IN CHI
cAeO'S DIRECTORY.
Odd Cognomcns That Bear Funny Reia.
tionships To Their Possessors--L Lawyers
Head the List, but Doctors Are Not Far
Behind Them.

Behind Them.
What is the funniest name YOU ever
heard OF? Was it Knockermus, Niggertoe
or WINDMILL What do you think Of Up.
percrust, Winterpiggin or Dcathdew foI
the last name of a man or woman How
about Bluebag for an appellations And
what is your opinion of Mugboy as a cog
nomenY Shouldn't Sunnyday bc "a CHEEKY
sort Of fellow and who could blame Trou.
blesoul for being of "A worrying turn of
mndf
Pretty funny names these, all of them,
but there are plenty just as odd in the di-
rectory and on the streets Of Chicago.
Take any profession or line of trade and
follow it up with this idea in mind, and
quite "A budget of odd names can be col
looted in an hours walk about the down
town streets. Lawyers are prolific in the
use of peculiar names, and here are few
Of them: Talker, Blower Splitter, Nagger
and Windyman are all 70 be found in down
town Offices. Hardmouth, Dustdry and
Slowgocr inhabit the upper floor OF West
Side justice shop. The North Side il re-
sponsible for Sanger, Swearer and Long
tongue, and a south Side suburb supports
members Of the legal profession who re-
joice in the appropriate names Of Patience,
Alltime and Neverquick. The South Side
too, shelters Mr.. Killjustice and Mr.. Hang
man
Doctors are well represented in the CON
gress Of funny names, and the list might
be headed with Sawbones, Killer, Murder
or and killim DR.. Fierce is a near neigh
Dor Of his medical brother. DR.. Gentle,
and DR.. Merryman lives not far from
either. DR.. Sadheart would hardly be
cheerful physician, DR.. Mournful should,
according 70 his name, be just as Lad, and
who would want a man named Grief 10
sit nj ones sick bed sideS DYER has not
cheerful sound, and Graveyard and Green
grave might reasonably be expected 10
handicap struggling physician. But the
gentlemen so named do not seem 70 have
suffered from their melancholy sounding
names. DR.. Gay il said TO be an unusually
solemn man. and DR.. Hothead is declared
by his friends 10 be the very reverse Of his
name. None of the DR.. Stouts attempts to
live up TO his name all Of the shorts are
tall. not single Giant is above medium
height, and solitary DR.. Dwarf is in reality
anything but pygmy.
Dentists come next in point Of appro-
pirate names, and perhaps DR.. Fuller de-
serves first place in their section Of the
IdlIltS WHICH ITtNtht HtFTllntuI. llltr,
Scraper, Filler Polish and Makewhite are
not bad as advertisements of their owners
business and Tccthcr ought s. be posi-
tive help 10 the dentist who signs it after
his given name. GolGplatc Rubbermouth.
Harlequin and Rooter will serve as good
illustrations Of how funny names can be
when considered in connection with the
business of the people who own them, and
the name Of Burr will awaken painful
recOllections in the minds of many per-
sons. Forccpt is dangerously like forceps,
and Pain is too suggestive to look well on
"a dentist sign.
Preachers in Chicago seem to have good
names as a rule, but Messrs Blowhar
Gossip and Cruel have departed from the
correct path in this respect, and Mr.. Free
thinker has followed them. Mr.. Dipper
is, of course, IA Baptist, and Mr.. Waterlove
should be temperance worker. Swing,
BlacKheart, Herring, Sandhater and
Smudge are all queer names for preachers
TO own, but perhaps Gracebucket is the
oldest of all. GoOdvessel is evidently a
relic Of Puritan times, but who can eK-
plain Deathhunter and DevilsfootY All
;hcse names are owned by men who have
once lived in Chicago If they do not now,
and all are familiar TO old settlers Mercer
should by rights rather belong 10 a dry
goods man than a pastor, and Topheavy is
hardly appropriate 10 the ministerial call
ing. 1t Is certain that the name of Gam
bic would 60 sadly against divine who
wished TO preach against cards and bill
lizards but Makepeace and Goodfellow
have decidedly pleasant sound. Shep-
herdboy does very well for a Chicago di-
vinty student, but his classmate, Mr..
otclyf a, 81 1t g.
happened 10 possess this particular name.
Tailors seem 10 be especially fond of
names which are applicable 70 and descrip-
tive of their calling and Beshears might
be taken as "a good example of this kind of
name. Gutter a Stitch" is the inscrip-
ton above the door of "a down town firm
and Threadneedle d Wax must surely have
hailed from London. Filter, Seams. Pad
ding, Sewer Yardman and Mcasurer are
all TO be found among the lists of city
tailors and LOngbill Is printed on the let
ter heads of well known tailor and fur
nsher.
Drcssmakers are not far behind in the
race, and the West side boasts Nine
Scissors, Mrs. Trimmer and Miss
Chargehigh. 1t is not known whether the
latter tries to live up 70 her name or not,
but IL rs suspected that Mrs PoOrmaker
would like to return 10 her maiden name.
Mrs. Venus regards her name a. part Of
her stock In trade, and Miss Graceful looks
upon hers In the same fashion.
Book names arr very well represented in
Chicago, and any one who doubts the
reality Of Dickens characters need only
take walk down Wabash avenue. Wild
dicomb, Boffin, Pecksniff, Snagsby and
Nickleby are all to be found there, and
State street has Chevcril, Dorrit. Jatty-
coram and Jellyby. Twist and Chadbahd
are just round the corner on side street,
and the Dolly Warden store is known to
all old residents at least by sight
Thackeray is represented 10y Pendennis
and a small army Of Newcomes, and Scott
has Waverley Dcrwent, Quentin and
Quackenbotham 10 show that he is not for
gotten. Chicago Tribune.
IN Animal mr. Other Style.