davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-09-26
BORROWED BUBBLES.
ALL KINDS OF HuMOR FRESH
FROM IKE JOKE SHOP.
If You Want to XIII the Idle Mo-
ments Try n Dose of These-YOu
Can Read Them to Your Mother,
tn-LaW, without Offending.

81 . p & Z F cd d
His friends were surprised to find
him getting his dinner here and there
among the restaurants, just as he
used to do. tzsa
"NVife out of town"
"Y- no; not exactly, though it
would lie pretty hard t. tell where
she is"
whats the matter, old man?" For
there was little more than the sus-
picion Of a sigh in his tone. a..
Nothing, nothing at ALL
you ought to take your wheel
again. Exercise more in the open air,
and u.s.. >E'* 2'.> X hr'
"Confound the wheel! My wife is
out on my wheel now, somewhere.
You know married bicycle girl. 1
courted my wife on a wheel. We took
lovely long spins through the roman-
tic environs Of New York. We did
Central Park in the early mornings
and spend many happy evenings along
Riverside drive" NJ. .a.... -. -
swell, now" .s,-.s3. =.:-
Nov it is different, you know. I
haven't time to go incoming about the
country forever, and she dotes on the
wheel. We have two wheels, and one
is In the shop most of the time and
she is on the other. And I am broWs.
ing around again for my meals-that's
all"
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-09-26
One on the Teacher.

A certain schoolmaster occasionally
compares the achievements Of his p1-
pills with the work of noted men in
their boyhood days, much to the schol-
airs disadvantage.
snow, John have you solved the
problem?' asked the teacher the 9th
er day. -.....
$40 SIR replied the boy, II can't"
3"How old are you, John?'' y.
SIXTEEN" was the answer.
"Sixteen!' repeated the instructor.
Sixteen, and can't solve simple prob
lem like that! Why, sir, at your age
George Washington was surveying
the estate of Lord Fairfax
The pupil looked Thoughtful, but
made no reply.
After the class was dismissed a
classmate inquired Of him if Wash
ington ever did anything else remark
able when he was sixteen.
Il don't know" responded the boy.
"IIe was a surveyor when he was as
old as I am, and when he was as old
as our teacher he was president OF
the United States. "-Philadelphia
Call.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-09-26
A LOUISIANA LOVE STORY.
BY Matt Grim.

Three years after the close of the
war the Pingres found themselves al
most at the end Of their resources.
They owned plantation near Marion,
Il small village in Union Parish,
Louisiana, and lived upon it, because
it could not be sold and they We're
too poor to go away and leave it I'M
sold, as so many Of their neighbors
did when the slaves were freed. Mr..
Pingre was an indolent, easy going
gentleman with very few practical
ideas and no business experience, and
Mrs. Pingre possessed less ability to
get on in the world than her husband.
She could not adjust herself, to
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-09-26
FOLDING BEDS.
Few Made Nowadays, but the Iron
Bed Is Popular.

Few Made Nowadays, but the Iron
Bed Is Popular.
The folding bed, once an immensely
popular institution, is losing it's grip,
says a dispatch from Grand Rapids,
Mich. Not one is called for now where
two or three years ago a dozen were
ordered. Two big factories here, which
three years ago had difficulty in keep
ing up with orders for folding beds,
even by working night and day, are
now making other lines of furniture
in addition to folding beds, and the
folding bed production in all factories
is steadily declining. In their earlier
days folding beds were made for the
houses of wealthy people, and were
often of mahogany and other expen-
sive materials, and cost all the way
from $3.50 to $500. Later, hotels and
boarding houses were equipped with
them, and they gained great popu-
larity for apartments and flats where
space is small. But they have gone
out of favor.
The accidents which frequently oc-
CuIIcO Will lIS Utu uOuUllcSS
had some bad influence on it's popu-
larity, but this was not the only dis
advantage the multum in parvo furni-
ture had to contend with. The beds
are heavy, clumsy affairs. Even I'M
Ger the most favorable conditions
many are hard to handle without
derrick or yoke of oxen, and they
are also hard to keep clean.
Another interesting fact manifested
al the recent furniture season opening
in this city is the increased call for
beds of brass and iron. Such beds are
practically the only kind sold in Eng
land, and they have steadily increased
in popularity in this country during
the last five years. The demand for
metal beds has not vet progressed far
enough to make serious inroads upon
the market for wooden beds, but fur
riture men are looking forward to the
time when wooden beds will be super
seeded. Metal beds have the advantage
Of being easy to handle, easy to keep
clean. not easily marred, and lend
themselves readily to dressing up to
present different appearance when
ever a change may be desirable. The
furniture manufacturers, recognizing
the tendency of the times, are Offering
many new patterns in special bureaus
md dressers to match with metal beds.
New York sun.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-09-26
Outclasscd.

Patrick Raglan had a face on him
that, as he had once remarked himself,
was an. 'ottinche to the landscape"
Next to his LONELINESS his poverty
was the most CONSPICUOUS part Of him.
The other morning a neighbor met
him, when the. following colloquy en-,
sued:
''An' how are We, Pat?"
''Moighty bad, intoirely. It's shtar-
walton that's shtarin' me in the face"
els that SO? Sure, an it can't be
very pleasant for ayther Of yez."
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-09-26
Awkward Mistake

"It was a bad break the Rev. M,
Fourthly made when he married that
couple the other day."
"What was it?''
'He performed the ceremony all
right, but he never had married any
body in boomers before, and he's a
little nearsighted, you know, and
when he came to saluting the bride,
according to his custom, he became a
little Hurried and kissed the youn'
man.'-Chicago Tribune
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-09-26
An Assurance,

"You're not going to publish every
thing 1 say, are your" said Senator
Sorghum anXiously.
"No,'' replied the reporter; II would
not think of it. If I were to let some
of that summarizes English get into
the paper I'd lose my position before
sunset tomorrow Star
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-09-26
Making 1t Clear.

Father-What are you driving at?'
Suitor-I don't see why you continue
to misunderstood my meaning; 1 have
tried to make it plain enough. want
to marry your daughter; that's all
there is to it. Do you follow me-"
But there was no need of this ques-
ton, for, as the young man turned to
leave he had tangible evidence that
his prospective father-in-law was fol
lowing hin.-Truth.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-09-26
In Sight.

ella, ha! ha, hap laughed the great
detective, II have them now.''
For five days he had been on the
trail, and had neither eaten nor slept.
He had done nothing but drink.
l. Under the circumstances his joyous
assertion that he had 'em bore the
similtude Of verity.-Indianapolis
Journal.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-09-26
Modern Realism, ,

"Gow said the mother, pointing to
the door.
The daughter of Mulberry Bend
covered in terror. ...'
=. "And if you are not back in ten
minutes I'll break every bone in your
bodyw
1t was not a tragedy; it was an ev-
eryday occurrence. The: young girl
departed for the saloon around the
corner, with the family GROWER CD
her arm.-Truth.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-09-26

Mister" said the man with the
suspicious side glance, ''can you tell
me where the nearest trolley railroad
,isv'
"Certainly," was the reply.
''For a dollar and half I ought to
be able to ride about three dozen
times, oughtn't ~
Eyes"
"WeH, I guess that'll do. Some
thing is bound to happen within that
space of time"
What do you mean?'
'You look like a kind-hearted man,
and I'll take you into my confidence.
All I've got is an accident insurance
policy and this dollar and a half. MY
one chance is to cash that policy and
as there hasn't been a smash-up OF
any kind for several days. feel purity
sure that I'm due to draw dlvl-
dend.'' -Washington Star.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-09-26
TrayeIs of fine Pun

Oldboy-I wonder where these big
pulled sleeves are going to end?
Guffy-I don't know; the bicycle
girls just now seem to wear them be-
tween the waist and the knees!-Har.
per's Bazar -
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-09-26
A Fair COmDaniOI

Dicks-What did Parkhurst so to
Europe for?
Hicks-To find out which was the
worst-the morality of Paris or the
immortality Of New York.-Harrisburg
Telegraph. 49,:
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-09-26

The Waiter-I didn't always do this.
Sympathetic Guest-Ah-no-
WATERWAY folks don't know where
am.
Sympathetic Guest with a tear in
his eye)-Ah, your mother
81 Waiter-Yes, mother thinks am a
burg lar.-Truth.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-09-26
A Quiet Game,

Photographer-Did you want a sit
ting to-day, Dashaway? ~. -
Dashaway-Not on your life. had
one last night that will do me for a
mOnth.-Cincinnati Enquirer. ~
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-09-26
A Restless Spiri'

"Henry"'
eyes, your excellency."
"Gold reminds me at times of In.
dians."
MAY ask when, sir?'
when the. gold reserve threatens
to leave it's reservation."-
Telegraph.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-09-26
An Instance.

"There are cases where guess work
is better than practical demonstra-
ton said the prudent man.
Think sop
Eyes. Take, for example, the case
of the man who has a curiosity about
how far out he can swim at the sea
s.Ge."-N'ashington Star.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-09-26
Rain Voices

Over the midnight hills I heard
The whisper of welcome rain,
And the dusty jasmine family stirr'd,
And brushed on the open pane.
And swiftly the Ginning showers draw
nigh
And sing on the thirsting caves,
And the jasmine utters a fragrant sigh
That thrills through her Whitened
leaves.
To earth's parchcd lips the low clouds
give "Ef."
- "A far-dra wn balm from above;
And the jasmine weeps, 81 live, live"
And the murmuring shower, II bve."
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-09-26
Decision

sCould I only read the future"
She nervouslX played with the fra
gile fan, while the color alternately
deepened and faded upon her cheek.
"The future"
For an instant her eyes met the eyes
of the man who stood waiting for her
to speak.
Il have decided" she said, and it
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-09-26
Training Hi. Voice.

Mamma, Jimmie Watts is learning
to be brakeman"
Learning to be brakeman"
"Yes; he can holler Mooresville and
Junctionburg now SO you can't under
stand him."
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-09-26
A Specific Success.

us marriage a failure?"
No; not as means OF grace.
"Er-Yhat?'
ut leads to repentance. Truth.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-09-26

Master (dispatching a note)-On the
way you pass public house.
Man (eagerly)-Yessir."
Master-Well, pass it.-Pick-Mc-Up
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-09-26
AIleln!

He-You know that man proposes
She-No, l don't, MI. Softly; I've
only heard so. When business was br
gun.)-BoSton Globe.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-09-26

seemed that a great peace had taken
possession Of her soul, Make it
chocolate, with lots of cream."'---De'
trOit Tribune.
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-08-09
An Up to Date Hanson Cab.

The latest fad in private cabs IS han
som made to carry four passengers in ad-
dition to the driver. 1t has attracted much
attention during its progress through Cen
trail park on the last two Sunday after
moons. 1t belongs TO wealthy young
clubman, and is a two wheeler drawn by n
single horse, and, in fact looks precisely
like the hansoms in use FOR years. II IS
only in being broader of gauge that 1t diff
fers from them.
The main seat is wide enough to seat
three comfortably. When the trio are
seated, the fourth passenger lets down a
seat which has been folded on the nigh"
side, just clearing the lamps. The fourth
passenger faces the horse, like his compan-
ions. The whole vehicle is balanced TO q
nicety.-New York Journal
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-08-09

with pain and fright, and found a mon
ster "white oak" snake wrapped about his
arm. The snake was striking the boy in
the face with its fangs and lashing him
about the body with its tail Mrs. Rodgers
pulled the snake away from the boy and
killed it. The boy had been bitten in sew
eral places about the face and neck, and the
wounds were bleeding freely.
His'arm was black and blue where the
snake had twined itself. and tho lashes Of
the reptiles tail had striped his body. His
face is horribly swollen, but the doctor
says he will recover unless blood poisoning
sets in. The snake was coiled on one of
the gateposts and sprang on him as he
passed.-St. Louis Globe Democrat
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-08-09
Hopeful of Ultimate Good.

After talking with the college professors
on the work OF municipal reform, was
greatly interested to get some experiences
In active reform movements from DR. e.
N Packard, I'VE have in Syracuse, a" said
DR. Packard "a society Of clergymen of
various denominations, among them a
Jewish rabbi On several occasions the so
oiety has taken an active part in the affairs
OF the government At one time we went
before the governor to complain of sheriff
who had allowed prize fight to take place
near Syracuse, in which man was killed.
We didn't accomplish the removal of the
sheriff. which we were attempting, but the
agitation Of the matter had much to dc
with arousing public opinion against the
neglect OF public officials to enforce the
law We are confident that our work l..
telling along the line Of education. -
Chautauqua Assembly
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-08-09
AN UNDERGROUND CITY.
Interesting Discovery Made by Russian Elk
plorers In Asia.

Interesting Discovery Made by Russian Ex-
plOrers In Asia.
The Russians have made q singular dis
covery In Central Asia In Turkestan, on
the right bank of the Amou Daria, is a
chain OF rocky hills near the Bokharan
town of Karki and a number of large
caves which. upon examination, were
found to lead to an underground city.
built apparently long before the Christian
era. According to efigies, inscriptions
and designs upon the gold and silver mon
ey unearthed from among the ruins, the
existence of the town dates back to some
two centuries before the birth OF Christ
The underground Bokharan city is about
two versts long, and is composed of an enor-
nous labyrinth of corridors, streets and
squares, surrounded by houses and other
buildings two or three stories high. The
edifices contain all kinds of domestic uten-
sils, pots, urns, vases, etc. In some of the
streets falls Of earth and rock have OBJ
structed the passages, but, generally, the
visitor can walk about freely without 80
much as lowering his head.
The high degree of civilization attained
by the Inhabitants Of the city is shown by
the fact that they built in several stories,
by the symmetry Of the streets and squares,
and, by the beauty of the baked clay and
metal utensils and Of the ornaments and
coins which have been found. 1t is sup
posed that long centuries ago this city, SO
carefully concealed In the bowels of the
earth, provided an entire population with
O refuge from the incursions of nomadic
savages and robbers.-London Public
Opinion.
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-08-09
Found a NIiser's Cavern.

A party of boys were out bcrrying at
the south side, near Hartford, recently,
when, crossing rocky woodland, they came
upon small cavern between two hills.
The mouth of this cavern was so small
that they were obliged to crawl in on their
hands and knees. When once inside, 1t
was found large enough to hold ten men.
On looking around tS-ay found an old fash.
Toned frying pan an& Rettle almost entirely
eaten up with rust, hrNd also an old chair.
After further investigation they found in
the dirt two old Spanish coins bearing the
dates of 1875 and 1890 and also other an
cient coins the dates not distinguishable.
This cavern was once inhabited by one
John rockingham, IA miser some 40 years
ago, who died there. All trace of the cav
ern in the woods had been lost until found
by the boys.-Hartford Courant.
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-08-09

The race Of the Beechers represents gen.
Jus and longevity, the latter perhaps in q
higher degree than any other celebrated
American family. The Rev. Edward
Beecher, who died in Brooklyn on Sunday,
reached the highest point in years of any
of the family, being well turned into the
last decade of the century. Five of them
still survive, all in advanced years, such
as their venerable progenitOr reached, who
was between so and 80 at his death.
For some of them the century mark may
be reserved but however this may be, in
the tables of longevity the family takes a
high and notable rank as 1t does in the
line of its varSAus and distinguished
achievements. The Gladstone family, in
England, is comparable with it in both
particulars. but such descents are not nu-
merous anywhere, and are deserving of tho
honor hid celebration which neither Of
these has failed to win.-New York Trib
one.
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-08-09
Skulls as Medicine.

That belief the Chinese have In the
remedial qualities of substances forming
part of the human body seems to BIO TRAD
icable. Thinking that Europeans still en-
tertained the same silly ideas led as much
as. anything else to the Tlen-tsin massa-
ores of 20 years ago. Prehistoric man
drank from human skull, believing that
the uncanny goblet had a certain potency.
Not so long ago, the skull of a suicide was
used in Caithness as a drinking cup for
the cure of epilepsy. Even cases have been
cited when superstitious people within the
last 80 years have dug up bodies, so as 70
possess themselves of skulls for the same
purpose.
As late as 1878, in the official pharma-
oopGiaof the London Collegeof Physicians
mention is made "of the skull Of q man
who had died violent death" For cen
turies in the past, for the manufacture Of
certain quack nostrrtns, notably anoint-
ment, ground skulls were used The med
ical books of Nuremberg Of 200 years ago
always cite mumia-or the embalmed flesh
of mummies-as a sovereign cure for Ger
tain diseases. The Egyptian mummy was
a specific for one malady, the Toneri1e
mummy for Ruother.-New York Times
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-08-09
To Steer Lightning,

Commander Chadwick, chief of the naval
bureau of equipment, has suggested the
protecting of naval vessels under course OF
construction from danger of injury by
lightning by connecting them with the
water by q copper conductor.
The suggestion is based on q report made
by Naval Constructor Woodward that dur.
ing a recent storm gunboat No. Z, under
construction at Newport News, Va, was
struck by lightning, and a number Of men
who were working under her were knock
ed insensible. Commodore Chadwick
thinks the injury to the men might have
been avoided if copper conductor had
been provided. New York Journal.
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-08-09
Swan Half a Mile Handcufred.

Martin Sullivan, a white sailor on the
cruiser Minneapolis, at the Norfolk navy
yard was ironed recently for desertion H.
escaped from his cell and while handcuffed
leaped overheard and swan across the rive.
to Berkeley, half n mile away. He hid un.
der raft while the cruiser swept the wa.
ter with her searchlights.
When they were turned off, he made his
way to Berkeley, where some negroes filed
his handouts off He then exchanged his
uniform for citizens clothes and engaged
to work his passage to New York on a
barge. When "a launch from the yard
passed the barge, he hid in a boiler, but
was subsequently captured. Washington
Post.
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-08-09
MY Sabine Farm.

At last have Sabine farm
Abloom with shrubs and flowers
And garlands gay weave by day
Amid those fragrant bowers.
And yet, oh, fortune hideous
have no blooming Lydias!
And what. an. what's Sabine farm to US with
out its Lydias0
Within my cottage IS room
Where | would fain be merry.
Come one and all unto that hall,
Where you II be welcome, very.
I've a butler who's Hibernan,
But, no, I've no Faernianl
And what. ah, what's a Sabine farm TO you
without FalernianP
Upon this coy Sabine farm
What breeds my melancholy
Why is my muse down with the blues
Instead Of up and lollyt
A secret this between us:
I'm shy of MRcenas.
And what, oh, what's Sabine farm to me
without MDcenasH
Eugene Field in Chicago Record.
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-08-09

stove; / made coffee, baked biscuits and
poached some eggs for breakfast
Then l opened the door into the sitting
room and called, Father, breakfast ia
ready" Suddenly started. There was
a red stain on the inside of the sitting
room door. My heart began to beat in
my ears.
"Fatherw called out; "fatheri'
There was no answer.
"Fatherw again called, as loud as l
could scream. "Why don't you speak
What Is the matterT'
The door of his bedroom stood open.
had feeling that saw red reflection
in there. l gathered myself together and
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-08-09
An Artistic Job.

The sponsors for this years sea serpent
have made good, thorough job Of 1t. The
animal barks like dog, "snaps Its teeth, "
has fine beard and hair is 25 feet long
and foot thick. 1t fought desperately,
but was finally subdued by almost super
human efforts.
It's comforting to know that this impor-
tant matter is attended to, and, on the
whole, with so much eclat. Now let the
glorious summer season proceed.-Chicago
Record
Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1895-08-09
II WENT TO PARIS WITH PAPA"
Lottie Collins' New Song Has Caught on
In London.

Lottie COllinr' New Song Has Caught on
In London.
Lottio Collins, who is in London, has
made another hit with n song which prom
ises to become another ia ra-ra Boom do
ay' for her. 1t is called II Went to Paris
With Papa, and possesses a Jingle which
seems to have made the aural tympanums
OF the Britons vibrate vigorously The
chorus goes
went TO Paris with papa to see what kind the
Frenchmen are.
Such funny ways they've got which English.
men have notl
You really should TO Paris go. You learn 30
very much you know.
saw lot in Paris that was never taught a,
school
Her arch ways seem to have caught the
English public, who have forgiven her for
her temporary desortion of the land of hel
birth, while she played havoc with that
dreadful "ta-ra-ra" throughout this coun.
try.-New York World