The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1895-04-02
prrHY POINTS AND SAYINGS.

Gleanings from the Field of Humor
and Philosophy.
Between two evils some folks
choose both.
The truly wise man will never worry
about what he can't help.
Kind words cost nothing; they are
easier to use than any other.
-Stammering is practice lily unknown
among uncivi,ized people.
An angels robe is still the DEVILS
favorite masquerading suit.
1t is the idle people of this earth
who make most of the trouble.
Kindness, favored with love, is the
true principal for association.
Corn planted three and a half feet
apart will give $500 hills to the acre.
1t will puzzle posterity to make
cut why some Of her forefathers were
given monuments.
The prospect brightens ahead OF
US; there will be no danger of the
water pipes freezing in July.
Undoubtedly, love of life increases
with years. To an experienced smoker
the last end of the cigar is always the
sweetest.
Fight your own battles-ask no ia
vors. You will succeed a thousand
times better than one who Is always
beseeching patronage.
Assert your own freedom ifyou will
but assert it modestly and quietly, re
speeding others as you wish to be re
spected yourself.
1t was only when Eve expected tc
be invited out that she discovered that
she bad nothing to wear. 1t has been
the same with the sex ever since.
-"Pa. why do you always carry
whiskey bottle with you when you &c
a-ishing |" SIT makes the fish look
larger, my son. There, run along"
In jewish marriages the woman is
always placed to the right of her mate
With every other nation of the world
her place in the ceremony is to the
left.
"A school boy was recently asked
by his teacher, how many mills make
a cent. He quickly answered, None
In this town the times have been toe
hard"
One of the heaviest snowfalls in
the history of the country was Febru-
airy 10Th to "a, I'LL, when the snow
remained five to feet all over
New England.
During an examination, a medi-
cal student being asked the question,
when does modification ensue -
replied, "When you pop the question,
and are answered No"
Tho Atlanta journal thinks the
best way to suppress the legislator
who introduces q bill to tax bachelors
is for the newspapers to say nothing
about him or his bill.
Red stockings were worn by Mis-
Eve Dooley, or Boston, Ind. The dye
caused blood poisoning, and, to save
her life, the girl had to suffer amputa
ton of both legs below the knee.
"A lively old farmer is Nathan
White, of Rutherford county, NORTH
Carolina. Last June he was one hun
dred years of age, and he still does the
heaviest farm work-plowing, etc.
The moon is not so small as some
people have imagined. A recent as
Economical calculation attributes to it
surface an area fully as great as tina
of Africa and Australia combined.
che largest amount of farm in
cumberance is in New York. Mex
comes Iowa, then Illinois, followed by
Pennsylvania, Kansas. Ohio, Wiscon
sin and Missouri, in the order named.
-Bismark is reported as saying
"When we read a medical book We
fancy we Fave all the maladies it de
scribes. But when we read a book OF
morals we at once discover that on
neighbors have all the faults it point
out"
-Watts-"D Did you try that no
water cure for your cold?" Potts
Eyes. 1t is simply great. too. Yo,
see, mixed it with a little whisk,
and lemon, and l never had anything
| sliD down so easy."