St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1895-06-15
HE HANGS PAPER.
Mr.. wigglesworth's Experience at
Spring House Cleaning.

AT the first step Mr.. Wigglesworth
made into the front hall his foot rested |
upon moist cake of soap, and IN
another instant he was over by the
dining-room door with his arms around
the hat tree and some language trailing
on behind that left coppery taste IN
the atmosphere as 1t slowly curled up
the front stairs.
sWho left that soap on the door?'' he
yelled, as soon as he could unhook him
self from the hat-tree.
"Why-I-I guess Mary must. STAN
mered Mrs. Wigglesworth, who had
rushed in from the kitchen with a
potato masher in her hand. We've
are cleaning house, you know"
s.Cleaning house!" said her husband;
''we1l, s'pose ye are? You needn't think
you're going to use me to flop up your
moors with" Mr.. Wigglesworth meant
to say mop up your floors, but the sud-
denness his entrance had temporarily
unhinged his tongue Think you've
seen me advertised in the back end OF
the magazine, don't ye?" he continued,
| "warranted tosave labor or money re-
| funded! Reckon I'm to be had of all
grocers, s'pose, or sent prepaid on re-
ceipt of price"
These retorts were SO keen that Mr..
Wigglesworth found his good-nature
| coming back through their exercise,
/ and he ate dinner without grumbling
1 more than man has to do ordinarily.
When he went into the sitting room he
found the carpet up and there was q
bundle of wall paper in chair.
..What's this7'' he shifted, suspi-
| ciously.
.sIt's wall paper" his wife responded;
81 got it at a great bargain down to
Root & Gilder's-closing out OF new
spring goods just received, at less than
ssHuhln grunted her husband, unToIl-
ind package and holding it wrong
side up. Looks like case OF deilr-
ions trimmings Z
ssYes,'' fluttered Mrs. Wigglesworth !,
sit is the new art, the man said-afteT
Aubrey Beardsley."
ssWho's Aubrey Beardsley?" coldly
returned Mr.. Wigglesworth with 9
falling infection.
sHe-he is-the-the man that has
rot up so many new ideas of-of art,
Mrs. Wigglesworth explained; "the5
are quite crazy over him, you know, g
the man said.
ssWeu, if they're any crazier thai
Beardsley I pity 'em," crowded hel
husband, dropping the roll in disgust
stWho's going to hoist this nlghtmar'
onto our walls?" he added.
I'll want you to step in and speal
to the paperhanger on your way down,
his wife returned. tinidly.
ssOh, yes, that's it!" MIR. Wiggles
worth snorted, teller with black
board ON his shoulder and hinge /
the middle and four dollars day
and then an idea shot into Mr.. Wiggles
worth's active brain. sB'georgel' b
cried. firing with 1t, "I1l hang thi
paper myself!'' and he began peelin
q off his coat.
..But. Ellery,'' his wife said, in mil
) expostulation, 4'you haven't had an
experience.
aExperience nothing!" retorted M'
Wigplesworth, whats experience &c
y 80 do with handy man? Four dollal
y a DAVIS experience enough for me, an
must be chump If / can't smes
some moist -four over the rear end OF
few sheets of paper and slap 'em I
against smooth WALL
When Mr.. Wigglesworth had mac
d up his mind TO thing it was like u
French revolution, it had to go.
brief time he had the hired gi
boiling some paste and Mrs. WI
ellsworth had tied one OF her apron
% about his neck, much TO his DISCUS
She said when all nature was voc
= with the melody of spring, when blr'
Z were futing their first glad notes 81
thousand streams made music in the
Journey toward the sea, she didn't p1
pose to have her husband going throul
ri the street with -four paste daubed
|j over his new spring clothes
Mr.. WiggIesworth opened one or 7
rolls of pa per, spread it out on
j dinino-room table and, taking a sigf
at the altitude of the room, cut Oh
strip that appeared to be the prol
length. Utilizing crunb brush
spread on copious quantity OF pas
and then lifted the paper by one eI
i He put his arms up to their full lene
20 but the other end Of the paper still !
gered ON the table.
..Why don't We take hold OF it29''
said testify to his wife, who stood
biously looking on.
So Mrs. Wigglesworth upraised
N other end and her husband stood
". chair. He reached for the border
of the wall, but fell short of It.
~ .Why don't ye go fetch table?''
.-a angrily roared at his wife. TIL;
riahtt' he shouted as Mrs. Wiggl
1 worth dropped her end OF the pa
Ii and the pasty side trailed over the b
the chair and chung about his knees
..You told me to get the table, " .
WiggIesworth protested, considera
abashed.
res a0h, Of coursep' Mr.. Wiggleswo
ID snarled, lay it all onto me. e
told We to jump through hoop 81
you'd done It'll Wellra he yelled as
arms began to draw out Of their s