davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-08-29
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

The Protestant Episcopal conven-
tion of the diocese of Maine has
granted to women the right to vote in
parish meetings.
The German Evangelical Presby-
terrain Missionary society has opened a
theological academy at Toxic. Its IL
brary has nine thousand volumes.
Rev. ID. b. L. Whitman, president
Of Colby college, Waterville, Me-, has
accepted the election to the presidency
of Columbian university, at Washing
ton, ID. G.
1T is announced that the Scotch.
Free Church assembly, by vote OF
274 to 151. has declined to interfere at
all with Prof. Drummend as teacher in
the church college at Glasgow.
The French Catholic missions learn
from Shanghai that the persecution of
Christians in the province of Sc Chuen
has ceased. An imperial edict orders
that compensation be paid for the dam
age done to the missions by mobs.
Rev Wolcott Calkins has resigned
the pastorate of the Eliot church at
Newton. Mass, on the ground that.
having for thirty-seven years preached
to wealthy congregations, is his desire
now to minister to the poor and needy.
1T is stated that the empress dow
ager of China has sent valuable pres
ents to the twenty missionary women
who arranged for the gift to her of the
| New Testament. 1t is asserted that
this testament is really being read in
the palace.
| 1t is announced that there has been
| a division in the United Norwegian
Lutheran church, a body that was
formed few years ago by the union OF
several Norwegian synods. Thirteen
members have been expelled by the
synod of the united body, and it is es-
timated that fifteen thousand members
will follow them. The seceders will
control the Augsburg seminary az
Minneapolis.
The Christian press is tremen.
dous power in the celestial empire.
From the Methodist publishing house
at Foochow were issued $4,000, 00C
pages last year; from similar Presby
terrain establishment in Shanghai 81
900 copies of the Scriptures and 36,700,.
900 pages of other books, tracts, etc.
and the Central China Religious Tract
societ issued about 100000 copies OF
publications.
The Catholics of Germany certain
ly have no right to complain of not be-
ing represented in high places. The
new president of the imperial reichstae
is Catholic, as is also Prince Hohen
lobe, the chancellor of the empire.
The bundesrath, or senate, represent
ing in Berlin the various state govern
ments, is also presided over by an ad
herent of this church, and the leading
general in Berlin is a Catholic. Ever
the minister of justice in Prussia is OF
this faith.
When Investigating the vatican
records Pope Leo XIII. said to DON
Gasquet, the librarian: Publish every
thing of interest, everything, whether
it tends to the discredit or credit of the
ecclesiastical authorities, for you may
be sure that if the Gospels had beer
written in our day the treachery Of
Judas and the denial of st. Peters
would have been suppressed for fear Of
ndalizing weak consciences." Sc
rd Halifax told the English Church
ion the other day.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-08-29
GOOD story from the south.

According to southern correspon-
dent, a great, gaunt colored man
entered the express Office in small
town and asked if there had been any
thing received for George Washington.
The clerk gave him knowing look,
and said, sharply: "What game are you
irving to work on me? Washington
died long ago" This rs companion to
the story of the congressman who be-
gan an address by saying: "As Daniel
Webster says in his great dictionary"
ut was Noah who wrote the diction-
ary," whispered member at the next
desk. "Noah?" replied the speaker.
contemptuously. "Nonsensel Noah
built the arl1I"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-08-29

ky with Jimmy Sullivan, and he used
to drop into Jimmy's every evening,
''just to wash the dust from his t'roat,"
as he phrased it. The washing process
had developed into such proportions
that McGheoghan's wife said he might
as well ''dhrown himself and be done
wild it" Then she applied what she
called the ''wather cure" and Nc
Gheoghan reformed. Mrs. McGheo-
CHAN had such faith in the reforma-
tion that she had taken the baby and
gone for three days to her cousins, the
O'F'lannigans, in Saucelito; and the
only admonition she had given her
husband was the parting injunction:
Mind yer eye, now, Maurice"
McGheoghan had not been particu-
larly proud of his descent from the Nc
Gheoghans of Galway, but his young
wife contin ually dinned it into him that
they were "a fine ould family" and
that he ought not to disgrace them by
associating with people beneath him.
1t was bad enough to be poor, she said,
without mixing with the common herd.
As a distinguishing mark, she always
gave an Italian pronunciation to her
husbands name, Maurice, and insisted
upon his doing the same. Mrs. Nc
Gheoghan had learned Italian in her
youth among the fishermen of North
Beach. Maurice did not take his
wife's discipline kindly, and it was
only his love for her that made him
endure it, Out of her sight he liked to
be one of the boys, and in sly ridicule
other aristoeratic pretensions spoke of
himself as 'humin illevator"-he
elevated bricks by the hodful up a
ladder
When McGheoghan pushed quietly
through the screen doors, slipped un-
obtrusively past the crowd at the bar,
sat down at the last table, and began
looking at the prints in the Irish News,
Jimmy Sullivan knew something was
in the wind; for had not the O'Rourkes
told his wife that Mrs. McGheoghan
had forbidden her husband to have
anything to do with that ''low-down
shaloon-keeper, Jimmy Sullivan?"
"What'll yez have, me bye?" called
Jimmy, as the last man drew one of the
three towels hanging before the bar
across his dripping mustache and
swung himself out into the street.
Faith, but it's long time since
I've had the good luck to grip yer fist,
man. Here's the crane O the sason till
ye."
If the thought of his wife came to
the hod-carrier az all, it probably
brought suggestion to make hay
while the sun shone, for he and Jimmy
filed and emptied glass after glass
while they smoked black cigars and
chatted over the 'ould times" when
they were single. Sullivan kept the
clearer head, for it was part OF his
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-08-29

his nose and shook him up pretty gen.
orally, besides demolishing the wheel
into a tolerably thorough wreck.
NOW, curse you, you won't try that
again. shouted the man in the car
riage in ghoulish glee. Then, as the
victim slowly picked himself up, and
the dust settled SO as to clear the at
mosphere, he was recognized. Horrors!
Rev. Leighton Parks! And his
chastiser was one of his most promi-
nent parishioners.
"Good evening, Mr.. Parks!" ex-
claimed the latter, lifting his hat pc.
litely. The story ends here, but it
seems Mr.. Parks ought at least to get
new wheel out of the episode. -Bos-
ton Record
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-08-29
Took 1t Literally.

"And then saw the handwriting
on the wall" said the story teller in
the course of one of his tales.
"You did," exclaimed the housewife.
"Plainly."
"Well, that's what comes of having
children liz the house. They're always
marking up the walls. Chicago Post
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-08-29
Dnllv,a Feat.

A little girl was overheard talking tc
her doll, whose arm had come off, ex'
posing the sawdust stuffing: "You
dear, good, obedient dolly, l knew
told you to chew your food fine, but
didn't shink that you would chew it 90
9ne as that. Home and Country
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-08-29
swoRE AT THE WRONG TIME

A Boston Churchman Upsets and curses
the bicycling Parson. ~,
There is a certain well-knoyn bust
ness man, the head of one of our big
trust companies, who is passionately
fond of riding and driving, AID equal
ly abhorrent of bicycling. He is scru-
pulously observant of the rules of the
road, and nothing disturbs his equa-
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-08-29
Pointer for Canyassers,

Gentleman-Why do you always be-
gin to beg on the top floor instead of
beginning at the first floor?
Mendicant-Well, you see if I begin
at the top floor and am thrown down a
fight of stairs can keep right on beg
ging on the next floor. Texas Sift-
iunS .NH
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-08-29

Great men often produce their
ends by means beyond the grasp of
vulgar intellect, and even by methods
Numerically opposite to those which
the multitude would pursue. But. to
effect this, bespeaks as profound .
knowledge of mind as that philoso-
pher evinced of matter, who first pro-
duced ice by the agency of heat
Cotton.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-08-29
A ErnItIe.a Onea.

City Boarder Didn't you advertise
that you had plenty of fruit?
Jerseyman.-Thats right. The old
woman's got over q hundred cans Of It'll
Puck
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-08-29

How He Made Zig Pelican strurrl
with Rubber Band.

with n Rubber Band.
Several hundred people were intense
ly amused at the queer antics of the
usually dignifed pelican who swims
around in Stow lake at Golden Gate
park.
OF course, small boy was at the bot
tom of it, and the bird is undoubtedly
still wondering how it all happened.
The pelican's enormous bill with its
membranous sack has made the bird
an object of more than ordinary in
terest to visitors.
So much bread was thrown to it for
the sake of seeing the big bill open and
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-08-29
FROM ROYAL TABLES.

rye Perquisites for the Attendants
Sales In the Easements.
n the Austrian court it is contrary
custom for perishable articles to APP.
lr twice on the imperial table. The
pit is large perquisites for the at
dants. To one man fall all the I'M
ked bottles, to another the joints,
to another still the game or the
let's. Every morning a sort of mar.
is held in the basement of the pal
where the Viennese come readily
purchase the remains. And there is
other means of procuring Imperial
kay than this.
ong ago in England even the great
men in the land were pleased to re-
e such perquisites. In the reign of
iehry H., for instance, the lord chan
ellor was entitled to the candle ends
f one great and forty small candles
er day. And the aquarius, who must
e baron in rank, received a penny
or drying towels on every ordinary
ccasion of the kings bathing. The
ceremonial that the revolution swept
way the first Emperor Napoleon was
areful to revive in less extreme form,
nd it is characteristic of the man that
e made a special study of it, and went
o far as to prescribe the special forms
o be observed on great occasions.
The ceremonial of the Chinese court
S somewhat exacting. IL used to in
lude, if it does not now, complete
'rostration before the throne. Last
entury Persian envoy refuse to go
Trough the degrading ordeal. Direc-
ions were given to the officials to
ompel him by stratagem to do so. On
one day at the entrance to
he hall of audience the envoy found
10 means of going in except by a
wicket, which would compel him to
toop very low. With great presence
If mind and considerable audacity the
turned around and en-
cred backward, thus saving the honor
If his country. IN. Y. Post.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-08-29
M'GHEOGHAN'S LAPSE.
Ky WILLIS CHAMBERLAIN.

g Fl OG II A N
had kept sober
a long time. For
weeks he h a d
not even taken
a glass of WhiS-
The St. Johns herald., 1895-06-27
BONNETS AND CIGARS.
Sure Relief for the Man Whose Wife Buy.
 Cigars fer Him.

Cigars fer Him.
 When lovely woman stoops to folly and sets out to bay her husbands cigars for him one of two things is reasonably sure to happen, says the New York Press. If the unfortunate head of ths household is of choleric temperament he uses language and pitches the offending weeds out of the window. This naturally gives pain tc their innocent purchaser and is ex. tremely likely to bring about 8 family hurricane, with plentiful shower of tears. If the victim of his wife's good intentions is suayc and diplomat he says nothing, but adroitly substitutes Q box of cigars of his own choosing for the gift which was meant to add to the comforts of home, and generously pre- sents the first box to the Italian boot black around the corner. This is un. doubtcdly the better method of the two, but it has tho serious disadvan. tngc of encouraging the misguided wife to repeat the experiment which apparently worked 9 well. This is apt to be trying to tile patience even oi a patient husband. Besides it is very hard on the bootblack.
 Assurcdly some method should be adopted to prevent occurrences so re grettable. Since argument in such cases would in all human probability be utterly useless, we venture to sug. gest another remedy. When . mans wife innicts on him the gift of box oi cigars let him accept them smilingly, remembering the bootblack around the corner. Then let him reciprocate by going out and purchasing hin wife . bonnet approved solely by his own masculine judgment Tho cure mAy seem 6 tri1e expcnsive, but it will work. Tho woman does not exist whc would not take the hint. For the bon net chosen by . man without reference to his wife's tastes is certain to bs ss acceptable as the cigars which the wife buys for her husband.
The St. Johns herald., 1895-06-27
A Naw EldornISn.

The newest of western mining esmpe. the Cochiti camp, in New Mexico, lies near the ancient Indian village of that name on the west bank of the Rio Grande, southwest from Santa Fs. The mines lie in lodges which cross st right angles the walls of three can yons, the Cochiti, the Pino and the Peralta. Some of the ores already taken out there are very rich, and, If the claims as to their abundance arc verified in the continued working, Cochiti will prove one ot the great gold-bearing districts of the United States. At the mouth of the Pino, the central canyon of the three, the hum- ning, brand-new town of Allerton is situated. Two smaller town sites, Kent City and Eagle, have been laid of, about six miles to the east and to the west, respectively. A few frame and more log houses are interspersed among the tents which constitute the greater part of the residence and busi- ness structures of tho camp, in which about two thousand people abide. Saloons and gam bling and dance houses arc plentiful and busy, and even the 'told timer" with memories of Dead wood and Leadville, admits that the Cochiti has generally the symptoms of . booming camp.
The St. Johns herald., 1895-06-27
COURAGE IA SURGERY.
Why Experienced Practitioners fire Cool
 While Operating.

Vhy Experienced Practitioners fire Cool
 While Operating.
 An old surgeon, engaged for the mo ment in eissccting cold roast quail and Eaking, it must be confessed, only an indifferent job of it, had been lis teaing Incidentally to the conversation of his table companions who were dis cussing the calmness and nerve dis played by the average practitioncrdur- ing surgical operations, says the New York Herald. Both agreed that the poise and coolness shown by surgeons at times were extraordinary and hard to understand.
 ''Gow, friends, if you will permit Rc," interrupted the surgeon at this point. ''I would like to tell you that there is nothing extraordinary about it The nerve as you call it, of the surgeon under such circumstances is the most natural thing in the world. 1t is not g display of calmness which has bsen put on for that occasion, or aa exhibition of courage summoned up for an unusual emergency, but simply the normal dcmeapor of s practical, natter-of-fact man who knows what he has to do and how he is going to do 1t.
 "The trouble with many people who marvel at what they call surgeons courage is that they fail utterly to comprehend the conditions under which he performs his work. They imagine that he is experimenting, or that he doesn't know his ground, or that he will cut something that he ought not to cut. Nothing could be further from the facts. No movement in science or mechanics is preceded by g more accurate foreknowledge of its results than the average operation in surg ny. There is no such thing as guessworl about it. The operator knows he is performing an operation which is based upon an exact science. He follows rules which apply to all cases, and is secure in the confidence that causes which have produced cer- tain effects in given instances will do so in all others.
 "Why, then, should there be any need in his work for extraordinary courage? There are cases, of course, so critical or so unusual as to excite even the calmest and most self-con- tained operator, and when these arc under treatment the surgeons powers of self-control are frequently taxed to their utmost limit. To the man who, in such case, can wield the knife without tremor, when life itself de bends upon the accuracy and delieacy of his touch, we must award the praise due to real heroes. But in the aver age case, say of amputation or of skull fracture involving cranial operations, the surgeon neither needs nor possesses more than the courage of an intelli- gent, sincere man, who knows his duty and has learned how to perform it. His technical knowledge of anatomy and it's methodical habit of work &C., custom him to conditions which alarm and excite non professional minds, and he goes about his task with a certain quiet, vigorous, essertive confidence in the result of his movements which the observer is quite likely to mistake for marvellous courage summoned up for that particular occasion. 1t is courage of 3 certain sort, confess-the cour- age of absolute confidence in the in- sllibility of the science he repre- santa
The St. Johns herald., 1895-06-27
Made Love by Lichtninx.

The late Prof. Morse made love by lightning, as it were. Ho met his first wife during an evening call st the house of her father and proposed mar risge to her before he went away that night After some happy years she died, leaving him with several children. He remained a widower until at the age of fifty-seven he attended tho wcdc dlng of his eldest son. One of the younger ones was what the Scotch tendcrly call an innocent" and it was the kindness of relative of the bride to this boy that attracted his fathers attention. He invited the lady to drive with him the following day. Then they returned from the expedition they were engaged to be married.
The St. Johns herald., 1895-06-27
Working Hours in Germany.

! The hours of the German laborer are very long, frequently exceeding fifteen
 hours Q day. but there are certain regu- lations in factories that are rigidly car ried out in regard to women's work. All factories where women are em- ployed are registered, and only eighty houra a year oVerwork is allowed Children under thirteen cannot work in factories, although the law is often evaded by making them work at home. Strange as it seems, the state is moro merciful to the children than the par snts; in some villages children three years old are kept busy threading noodles. Thuringian wetch-makers keep their children working from Sat urdsy noon until Sunday morning st two. After two hours sleep they must work again until church time.
The St. Johns herald., 1895-06-27
NAPOLEON'S HATS.
Existing Relics of the Greet FreasA Mn
 DOrOY.


 peroF.
 Careful inquiry has led to the disoov. cry that there are no flower thar nine of Napoleon I.'s hats still in existence. A writer in The Vie Contemporaine gives Q list of them. One is in the pos session of Mime. Claitte, whose grand. father, Gen. Giraud, picked it up at Marengo. At a critical moment Bona. parte started of ct gsllop, and the wind blowing of his hat he did not stop to pick it up.
 Another of the hats, says the London Daily News, is in little crypt beside Napoleon's tomb at the Invalides. This was worn on the 7th, Sth and 9th of February, 1907, at Eylau, and it Is the identical one represented in the colossal picture of the battle by Gros, to be seen in the Louvre During the peace which succeeded tho battle Gros was commissioned to paint the picture, and in order that the figure of the em. peror might be faithfully depicted the hat was given to the painter.
 At tho death of Gros in 1885 it was found under a glass case upon 6 wooden stand, and it was sold by auc- tion among the painters effects for two thousand and forty-seven francs fifty ccntimes to Dr. Delacroix, who presented it to Louis Philippe. The latter, after the famous second funeral of Napoleon, ordered it to be placed be- side tho remains with the emperor's crosses md the sword Inc wore at Aus terlitz. Of the remaining hats, one belongs to Prince Victor Napoleon end another to the museum nt Gotha.
The St. Johns herald., 1895-06-27
In tho Austrian Arnr.

The polyglot character of the Aus Eian army was abundantly shown the other day when the ancient custom of solemxly swearing in the recruits in the presence of the troops was revived, after having been discontinued since 1868. In Vienna alone the formula of oath to the colors had to be adminis- tered and read out in nine languages, so-wit: German, Hungarian, Croatian, Bohemian, Polish, Ruthenian, Ron manian, Servian and Turkish, while the religious part of the ceremony was conducted by Roman Catholic. Greek Catholic and Greek orthodox priests, Protestant pastors, Jewish rsbbis and Eahcmeta uleea.
The St. Johns herald., 1895-06-27
ALLBEN-ALI, THE CoBsLER.
How He Lost His Wives md Ills Faith ai
 the Same Time.

How He Lost His Wives md Ills Faith at
 the Same Time.
 AliBen-Ali was and is a renegade. He believes in three gods, and drinks spirits of wine, corn and rye. Hc also believes that women have souls and that, whilo there are many houris in heaven, there are more in hell. When the muezzin calls to prayer he puts his thumb to his nose and spreads his fin gers out, which is his Turkish way of expressing derision. Once upon time he owned seven slaves, four of whom were white. Great men were his friends. Now he cobbles shoes, says Vance ThomHsen in the New York Ad- vortiser.
 He might have been a happy man to this day had it not been for that devil of an Alcibiades. Ali-ben-Ali was sit ting on his feet, looking through the open door out on the bluc waters of the Bosporus and the low sandy shore beyond when the Greek camo up. He was 6 low-browed Greek. He was peddling slippers with long red points which curled over like rams horns. Ali was absorbed in thinking of his seven female slaves. He kicked tho Greek in the back violently two or three times, but otherwise ignored his presence.
 The subtle Greek departed. Under his low brow he devised this revenge. He wrote 8 letter to the sultan.
 Well see about this," said the sul- tan. "Mesrour, of with Ben Ali's head and bring mo his seven nice wives"
 Mesrour returned in half an hour, the seven slaves, of whom four were white, trailing after him.
 Ben Ali Is dead" he said.
 Mesrour lied. Ben Ali. by bribes, had secsred his escape and, disguised as bale of tobacco, was stored away in hold of vessel bound for New York. He Is in New York now to prove that this tale is no lie. He cobbles shoes. At times he drinks strong spirits. Then he curses the com- mander of the faithful and Alcibiades, Lhe low-browed Greek. The sultan is } Mohammedan, and him Ben Ali :urses; the Greek is Christian and Is suraed of Ben Ali.