The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1895-10-04

Oi NIL, Or al the loot OF nil, II
the corner Of a wheat field, or a stub
Bile field, way out somewhere all b,
myself, on a public road, in the cen
ter Of small plat Of land, donate,
TO me by some enterprising farme
for a valuable consideration. Gener
ally am painted white, sometime
| am not painted at all, most Away,
i need paint very badly. On top o
my gable-roof there is a small chin
ney, which is my fa,. Ihave win
dows all around, that don't opel
from the top, but always open from
the bottom, for the convenience o
the odoriferous tramp. Very Otter
! am minus window-pane or two.
The balance Of the panes are molas
sotiei by the school house fly, which
is almost as hungry as the church
mouse. am frequently illustrated
by so-called window-curtains, which
swarm with multife.ous microbes
! am so ugly that the people passing
by on the road look upon me with
contempt. At night they suppose
| am inhabited by ghosts, but it j:
the odoriferous tramp who claim,
me As his castle when darkness en-.
velopes this mundane sphere.
Ny foundation whereupon
rest consists Of several stone props
and the wind whistles under IN,
much to the discomfort Of my floor
| pity the poor feet Of the little raga
mullins who have to stand on IN,
all day and freeze to the bone. Th,
pretty school miss can stand by tn,
lire and keep her sweet toes warm
NV walls consist Of plaster cracked
and holey, sometimes whitewashed
but never clean. Inside | am about
as common as my outside. Ir
fact | am a dreary hole, just suitec
to the odoriferous tramp who inhab
its me by night. The benches, tn
desk, the floor. aye everything, neet
paint, and scrubbing. But l neve
grumble. And why should L
Anything is good enough for tn
IragamutfiLs who congregate withir
me during the day. And the dea
school miss, who presides over th'
gang, will soon enter the matrimo
|nial mysteries and forsake me.
l have often wondered and myste
ried why people don't treat me bet
ter. Their dear ragamufiins learr
to become the good people Of the
future on my insides, and why
couldn't l be made more pleasant
There l. that big fellow the State
who spends much money on eddy.
cashun. There be normals, and
Institutes, after high schools and
sich, where the pretty school miss
LARSs Latin, Greek, French, and
Hebrew; algebra, and higher mathe.
matics; anatomy, chemistry, physi-
oIogy and botany; history, geome-
try, and other highfalutin sciences.
Those highly and concentratedly
eddicated professors teach the pretty
school miss how alcohol ossifies the
dogs stomach, and how tobacco
poisons the cat, and nicotine par
lyzes the frog. and other hair-split-
ting theories. And the sweet
school miss when she enters my por-
tails, which is my front-door, is
chuck full Of wisdom and other nom
sense. But they say she must be
full Of it, in order 10 pass the des-
perate examination for license,
which she must have before she can
enter such a miserable little shanty
rs l am.
Now, | don't kick at all this at all i,
Tor what does such a miserable little
red (painted dirty white) school
house as | am. know about such
things, anyhow? l am willing to
LET the sweet schnolmiss learn every
hing under the sun, and about the
son, for that matter, and | am will
ing to let the good and highly eddi-
,ated professors, and trustees, and
.uperintendents make all the furs in|
he world they possibly can, and Il
nm willing that the people treat me
Is shabby as possible, and / am
Wiling to let my patrons, the afore-
aid ragamufiins, tear me all to|
plinters, but | am going to make al
tick. And that kick is against the|
tramp.
The odoriferous tramp has mol
business in my insides. He is diltyl
md lousy, and he stinks. The rags
IN his back are full Of disease, and
here have been tramps over night
IN my insides, that had diphtheria
md small pox, and scarlet fever
md other vile, mean, and contagiousI
diseases. The tramp's clothes ar,
ull Of microbes, and bacilla, and|
nicrococci, and lots Of pestiferous
title critters stay back after theI
tramp takes his deparf-I |