The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1895-08-07
The qa1iets gary Eagle aaednesdag nna auonst

pointed at one end. and whenever he met
laid hold upon him. set his foot on one
of his hinder legs. and seizing the other
in his hand he would dexterously con3klve
to apply the cane. despite the most ener-
getic and praiseworthy resistance. when
he would blow him up as round as ball;
then giving the inflated body a tap or two
with the palm Of his hand. he would
turn to the bystanders. who were always
numerous, and say. well. gentlemen. I
suppose you think Ii an easy matter to
blow up a dog?" And John ]. ingalls,,
judging from his Caldwell speech. would
have us understand as much in regard to
initiating the free silver sentiment of the
country. and doubtless will repeat his
merely to satisfy himself OF peculiar
powers IN that direction. And. indeed.
1t does require dexterity, as well as all
fired. well-nigh diabolical firmness Of pur-
pose, and no little risk in matters OF this
sort; for It Is observed that arguments
for free coinage in the face OF facts leave
small space for the retort curteous. the
Qufp modest. the lie circumstantial. or any
Of the seven forms OF controversial abate-
ment. and one stands to lose on the re-
proof valiant whenever he shall blow once
too hard or too often, ard that. too. at
the precise moment he is doing his best.
But this maniac had a brother. who
lived in the City of Honorable Gentlemen.
whose pleasure IL was TO walk the streets
with large stone upon his head. of no
inconsiderable weight. and whenever he
met with stray cur. he edged silly to-
ward him, and when quite close up let the
stone fall plump upon his body; where
upon the dog, in great wrath. Emped
away. barking and bowling, for more than
three streets length. to the madman's in
tense JOY and qualification. Now ii hap
pened that, among other dogs. he met
with one that belonged TO the mayor of
the town, who valued him nightly: down
went the stone. and hit him exactly on the
head; the poor animal cried out: his mas
ter. seeing the act, was fearfully enraged.
and. catching up a bludgeon. fell upon
the mailman and left him with scarcely a
whole bone in his body: at every blow
venting his fury in reproaches, Dog!
beast! rascali migrate! What! maltreat
my dog, water spaniel! Did you not see.
mailman. that my dog was a water SPAN
iel! and after repeating the word spaniel
very often he dismissed, the culpri;. beaten
to a jelly. The mailman took his cor
rection in silence and walked of; nor did
he show himself on the streets again for
his former amusement with a still greater
stone upon his head. 1t was observed.
however, that, upon coming up to dog
he first carefully surveyed it from head
TO tail and not daring to let the stone
fall, would humble, ''spaniel-water
spaniel. this won't do" In short, what
ever dog he met with, terrier, mastin.
hound. or bull-pup. they were all spaniels
and so great was his dread Of committing
another mistake. that he never ventured
to let fall his slab again.
And If Governor E. N. Morrill, maps out
this week a policy repugnant to all but
small. cold-hearted, narrow-minded sect
of Prohibitionists, and at the behest, too
OF a parcel Of daggle-tailed. perigrinatine
parsons, and sends down here an assistant
attorney, 1t is beyond a mere surm;se
that before he again lets fall the ponder.
Gus weight Of an assistant attorney gen.
eral upon the commodities of Leaven.
worth, Atchison or Kansas City, Kan.
that he may feel an unwonted desire and
yearning to look and examine where II /.
! likely to drop. He will think Of Wichita
E. D. GILBERT.