The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-10-05
wleeLEswoRrA WASN'T SICK.
A Sunday School Excursion and WEias
Happened Thereon.


summer outing and Willie Wigglesworth
came home filed with it.
''Will I got" said Mr.. Wigglesworth
grandly. ~sOf course III go. And III
show ye how to take q day off and enjoy
yourself too. If your mother wants to
hang around the house here and be
mummy, she can, but don't propose &c
dry up that way
The day was bright and a royal breeze
from the northwest filed the air with IN
MIGRATING life and made the waves in the
harbor to dance merrily. The steamboat
Daniel Webster gay in bunting, lay 81
the wharf while the children swar1nad on
board and fell over things that were ap-
parently made for land people to fall over.
The WiggleSworth party arrived just ss
the lines were casting off and the paddlea
entering upon their preliminary churnina-.
Mrs. Wigglesworth had the basket in one
hand and Willie in the other, and her face
was very red with haste.
With much shouting and pulling and
some language on the part of the Cecs
hands that didn't accord with the eharac-
ter of the picnic, but which seemed in
measure justified, Mrs. Wigglesworfh ard
Willie were hoisted over the rail and 2Ir
Wigglesworth followed, trailing his white
duck trousers over a rope that appeared to
have been newly tarred expressly for that
purpose.
''Glad to see you here, " said the minis
ter, cordially shaking Mr.. Wigglesworth 4
hand and getting some of the tar OH it.
Yes, I thought I'd come, " responded
that gentleman, gloomily contemplating
his trousers.
Delightful the minister said with
enthusiasm. We are y largo party ard it
rejoices my heart to behold the little folks
in their fresh young life and exuberance
of spirits
That's SO, - assented Mr.. Wiggleswortb,
somewhat Modified as the salt breeze De
gan playing through his whiskers
Gathering speed, the Daniel Webster
clave the dancing waters, the flags faunt-
ed bravely, a Lrass band on the upper decI-
crashed into the measures Of "a Life on
the Ocean Wave, - and boys Of remarkable
smallness began to implore their mothers
for cake. Mr.. Wiggiesworth, cooking his
wide brimIned straw hat rakishly to ono
side started fer a stroll about the deck.
Don't leave me, Ellery, " pleaded his
wife, 81 beg Of you"
whats the matter?' querulously re-
piled Mr.. Wigglesworth. "Think we'1s
going to strike on the rocks and go down
with all hands-with tar on emp he add
ed, glowering at his own.
These boaes are never safe, - Mrs. Wig
ellsworth limited.
81 guess this one is, retorted her hus-
band. They've got her tied with a rope.
What ye 'fraid of, anyway? Think some
| bodys going to bore hole in her ard
sink her SOS to drown the whole of us
and get our life Insurance.
But-but suppose it should tip oyers''
suggested Mrs Wigglesworth, cIutching
nervously at her husbands arm.
'Yah!' exclaimed Mr.. Wigglesworth,
shaking off her grasp, ''what ye think it
is, a lamp? Puts ye in mind OF o center
! table with q vase on it, probly. Why
can't We act rational, now we've got ne
out here? What's the use coming on an
excursion if We can't eHter into and enjoy
yourself, sane's I do?''
But I begin to feel sick, Ellery," ex-
| postulated his wife.
"Thats itr' Mr.. Wigclesworth cried;
THAT S the way to have Il good time
Come out here for fun and then cali fer a
Doctors certificate the first thing. Why
didnt ye stay at homaY What's the use
| breaking out into society that way and
spelling the whole things''
| Under the soft side OF an island, near
! the mouth Of the harbor, the Daniel Web
! ster lay to, while the eEcursionists, with
merry hearts, opened their baskets and
| had dinner. Men and women Of high
! character, but low digestive faculJies,
| flung themselves into perfect abandon Of
| hard boiled eggs and pie while the min
| lister, a special favoritc, had something
from every basket. Children with jam on
| their fingers came and took hold Of pure
white dresses belonging to their maiden
aunts and begged for more Washington
| pie and got it. Young men IN the first
| faint flush of early mustaches took their
third and fourth cream taFts, and smear
ing some of the cream over the InUstaches
left it there, and thus established il The
eyes of the world what they were striving
to accomplish. Maidens, giddy with ex-
| element, spilled uncOunted glasses of lem
onade into the laps Of their lawn dresses
and laughed aloud. Even 1lr. Wiggles-
worth, under the excitement Of the mo-
ment, forgot his dyspepsia and loaded
| himself to the muzzle.
| Then the Daniel Webster turned PROV
for home. The local papers have esz-
| planned how the wind had unexpectedly
| whipped around TO the southeast ard gone
| to prying up the lower waters, over whose
crested and yeasted tops the Daniel Web
ster DOW went rockiiy careering, but none
| of their columns has been equal to aGe-
quately setting forth the scenes that tho
decks of the steamer speedily presented.
Nor does the present historian consider
| himself equal to that emergency.
Dir. WiggleswOrth, bis hat blown over
board and smeaTs Of jelly mingled with
the tar on his white duck trousers, stag
gered aft along the deck. Mrs. Wiggles-
worth saw him coming and tottered Tor
ward.
"O-o-h-h, E.lloryW she moaned, falling
Imply about his neck.
''Get outl" shouted Dir. Wigglcsworth,
his pale face twitching in passion. ''Wha5
ye trying to act on1 nov?"
con, 1 feel $3.50 sickH' groaned his
wife
'Sicl1l'' snorted Mr. Wigglesworth,
struggling to get free. What that got 10
do with it? Wha'd We spose when ys
came out here? Ilidn't l tell ye how
'twould be? liver know me to miss it,
Lego my neckl''
Saying this, he Nrenched Ji,nsef loose
and his wife fell in q huddla on the deck,
while the impetus shot Mr. Wigglesworth
! under a seat, where he curled 10 against q
nile of life r1rnserrni.s and efifl thl.re q. L