Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-07-26
W'ashln9ton Staudara
OLYMPIA. WASH.
HE HANGS PAPER.
Nr. NiggiewOrth's Experience at
Spring IlOusc.CIcaning.

At the iirst-step Mr.. Wigsle>worth
made into the front hall his foot rest
ed upon moist cake OF soap. and in
another instant he was over 10y the
linng-room floor with his arms around
the hat-tree and some language trail
ing along behind that lett Il coppery
taste III the atmosphere as it slowly
curled up the front stairs.
"Who left that soap on the floor"
he yelled, a. soon a. he could unlock
himself from the hat-tree.
Why-I--I guess Mary must"
stammercd Mrs. Wiggleswor,h, who
had rushed in from the kitchen with
potato masher i'll her hand. We
we are cleaning house, you know"
"Cleaning house" said her hus-
band; we'll, s'pose We are? You
needn't think you're going to use me
to flop up your moors with" Mr..
WiggleswOrth meant to say mop up
your floors, but the suddenness OF his
entrance had temporarily unhinged
his tongue. Think you've seen me
advertised in the back end of the
magazine, don't ye?" he continued,
warranted to save labor or money re-
funded. Reckon I'm to be had of all
grocers. s'pose, or sent prepaid on
receipt Of price,"
These retorts were so keen that Mr..
Wigglesworth found his good-nature
coming back through their exercise,
and he ate dinner without grumbling
more than a man has to do ordinarily.
When he went into the sitting room
he found the carpet up and there was
bundle of wallpaper in chair.
What's this?' he shifted, suspi-
ciously.
cts wall paper" his wife responded
1 got it at a great bargain down to
Root & fredericksburg out of new
spring goods just received, at less than
cost"
Huh" grunted her husband, un-
rolling package and holding it wrong
side up. Looks like a case of de.
lirious trimmings"
EYES," fluttered Mrs. Wigglesworth,
cit is the new art, the man said-after
Aubrey Beardsley."
Who's Aubrey Beardsley?" coldly
returned Mr.. Wigglesworth with fall.
ing infection.
Gle he is-the-man that has
got up so many new ideas of-of art,
Mrs. Wigglesworth explained; "they
are quite crazy over him, you know
so the man said"
Well, if they're any crazier than
Beardsley 1 pity EN-" growled hel
husband. dropping the roll in dis
gust. "Who's going to hoist this
nightmare onto our walls?" he added
"I-I want you to step in and
speak to the paperhanger on your way
down." his wife returned, timidly.
"Oh, yes, that's it" Mr.. Wiggles.
worth snorted, "feller with black.
board on his shoulder and hinge in
the middle and four dollars a day
and then an idea shot into Mr.. Wig
glesworth's active brain. B'georgev
he cried, firing with it, IN hang thi.
paper myself" and he began peeling
Off his coat.
"But, Ellery," his wife said, in mild
expostulation, "you haven't had any
experience"
Experience nothingw retorted
Mr.. Wigglesworth, "what's expert.
ence got to do with handy mani
Four dollars days experience enough
for me, and 1 must be chump if
can't smear some moist flour over the
rear end of few sheets OF paper and
slap 'em up against a smooth wall"
When Mr.. Wigglesworth had made
up his mind to thing it was like the
French revolution, it had to 60. In
brief time he had the hired girl boiling
some paste and Mrs. Wiggleswortt
had tied one OF her aprons about hi
neck, much to his disgust. She said
when all nature was vocal with the
melody of spring, when birds were
fluting their first glad notes and a
thousand streams made music in their
journey toward the sea, she didn't pro.
pose to have her husband going
through the street with flour paste
daubed all over his new spring clothes
Mr.. Wigglesworth opened one Of the
rolls of paper, spread it out on the
dining-room table and, taking q
sight" at the altitude of the room, cut
off a strip that appeared to be the
proper length. Utilizing q crumb
brush he spread on a copious quantity
OF paste and then lifted the paper by
one end. He put his arms up to their
full length but the other end of the
paper still fingered on the table.
"Why don't ye take hold of it9" he
said testify to his wife, who stood du-
biously looking on.
So Mrs. WiggleswOrth appraised the
other end and her husband stood in q
chair. He reached for the border line
of the wall, but fell short of it.
"Why don't We 60 fetch tablet"
he angrily roared at his wife. "That's
right" he shouted as Mrs. Wiggles-
worth dropped her end of the paper
and the pasty side trailed over the
back of the chair and chung about his
knees.
"You told me to get the table"
Mrs. Wigglesworth protested consider
oll,, obaShaJ