The morning times., 1895-08-01

The lean man with the pea-gIcen neck
tie had just slid along little in order to
make more room on the park bench for the
new conner, when his eye caught sight OF
a society button on the lapel Of the latteI's
coat.
What" he exclaimed, extending his
hand, do you too, belong the Y. a. Z. s.
Shake!"
But somehow the gIip failed to work.
Then he shut both eyes, opened his mouth,
and Iolled his tongue about, but TO all
these secret signs the new coIuer made no
reply. A new thought found lodgment
in the lean mans brain.
Say, stranger" he whispered, "are
you a member OF the Yellow Aster Pro-
motion Society"
Nope. l belong to the Young AmeIi-
cans Protective Society"
Huh! no wonder your grip was new to
me-feaIed I'd made mistake, l have
so many on my list. Belong to anything
else? No? I'm in SO many I've lost
tack OF some of them. I'm professional
finer, / am. Theirs the Aztec's An
tiduaIian Association and the Babylonic
Biblical Brotherhood and the Chaldean
CTvptogram Controversies, and so on
through the alphabet. I'm in 'em all
The new conner looked at him in admira-
ton.
But I've been disappointed in some
OF EN-" he continued, with a slow shake
of his head Il j'ined this society that
saves you money if you patIonize the
business firms whose names are printed
on the back of the card. In that way l
had three teeth drawn by dentist on the
list; tue, / didn't need 'em pulled, but
he did the job dit cheap, seeing as how
was a member. / got some snow shoes
and five yards Of sticky fly paper, too.
May be I'll need 'em some time
Ever been expelled from a club?' be
queried. Il have. / was member of the
Suicide Club and about the first thing
l did after the initiation was to draw the
fatal slip It's hard to die so young, but
/ was in fer it, l asked a druggist what
was the easiest way to die aud he said
| chloroform on rag so l got him TO fill
a small bottle for me, and home l goes to
| shuttle off Stranger, 1 suited and snorted
| under that handkerchief for a half hour
| before i dropped to the fact that l was
| smelling cold catnip tea Mad? You bet
| / was! aud next day when the committed on
funeral arrangements came around and
found me still alive they gave me the al
tentative of reSiguing or going 10 the
| morgueand getting substitute. Iresigned
Nothing half way about me-"
The newcomer offered him a chew oi
| tobacco, aud asked him what society he
| joiued last.
well I sorter jined church t'othar
| day. I'd been to experience meetings down
! to the mission and l concluded I'd better get
under cover before it was everlastingIy too
| late. ! experienced religion and became
! member in good standing. OF course, l
| didn't exactly expect that the Lord was
I going to rain down u turkey dinner and q
| tailor shop on me first thing-knowed I'd
! have to put my shoulder to the wheel along
| with the others in the vineyard, so I did a
| turn with the gospel push-cart. 1 wish l
| weren't quite so sensitive, but the street
| Arabs ratified me. They hollered Clam
man passin' and Eat him up, Black Ma
| ria,' and / couldn't stand it. 1 back slid"
His companion looked at his watch and
got up to go. The lean man half arose
| and whispered in a husky voice, casting
furtiveglances abouthim ashedd so" Say,
stranger" he said, ''do you think l could
| break into the Paresis Club and work my
way up to the thirty-third degree?"
And the stranger thought he could.