The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1895-06-12
IA DISGRUNTLED DEMOCRAT.

HE MAS A SERIES OF BAD SPELLS-IS
About READY TO VOTE THE PEG
PLIES PARTY TICKET.
Groverville Mimi, June 5. 1S9fve.
Mistur Donelly-They say you know a
crate deal bout politicks, SO I'm going
to rite yu for a few pointers. am a
demokrat, leastways / wuZ a demOkrat
til our party got to acting SO durn queer
that~I can't kepe up with them. ! don't
war I have bin Dragging what we demo-
krats would do If we wonce got ther
chance. Their repubercans always. had
VI 10 we couldn't do nothin! But in g.
two we got our chance. We had ther
preserdent, the Senat an Their house, and
the postofices. got postofice myself.
il = postmaster by trade.
After electun l wuz swelled up with
pride like pizened pup. drunk cheap
whisky and hoped and shouted my
lungs loose for cleve-an' -$1-wheat! Then
I sot down In my postofice to watch my
party snatch the cuntry from the mire
of destrukshun and lift it to Their hills of
prosperity. I am still sittin' and wait
ing. It's al l can find to do these days.
The cuntry is still in the mud, an them
goode times hasn't showed up at the gin
Gral delivery window yet.
Let us sea what the demokrats prom
Used and what we performed. 1t looks
ter me like the demokrats are staving
goode prommisers, but the poorest per-
formers / ever seed.
We allus fit trusts and corperashuns;
but the first thing he did to show his
hate for them, cleveland put three cor
made me dizzey.
We allus dispized everythin' the re-
publercans done, yet congress adopted
their Reede Rules and seemd tickled to
get them. This maid me sneez onct.
We promised fire silver and lots of it,
then the demokrats went rite to wurk
aad shet the minis and nailed up the
dores. We promised to give the peple
more money, then we kontracted the cur
ency about $100-milyun a yere. Bi this
time wuz mad huff to lick my grand
muther, but kept kahn and tended to
bizness.
We promised to cut down expenses and
ekonomize, then we increased the taxes,
hired more clerks to help the congressman
to do nuthing, and went on a spree for
bonds. When herd Of them bond issues
I was that mad riz up an tore my whis-
kurs and bit holes in my necktie!
We allus yelled for states rites and a
limited natshunal power, yeti the pres
erdent showed that he had rite to throw
a empty mail bag inter freight car and
send the Fedral trupes along to kill eny-
body what mTnkeyed with It, This
gived me a sunstroke!
But l brased up again when they be-
gun to reform the tariff. 'Hoorah' SEE l,
the iniquishus Mckinley tariff must go,
and the blessed fire trade will come at
last But what did the demokrats do?
They took sugar In theirs. The trusts
buyed tariff reform by the yard Every
body what was willin' to pay for it, cud
get all the tariff they wanted. When /
saw what had bin done got violent, and
my folks shut me up in the milk hous
for days.
am mixed UP.
Do democracy mean republercanism
Do it meen to preach Tom Jefferson and
practise Tom Reed? Do it meen to make
laws to plese John Shurman? Do free
trade mean a protective tariff so high
that Mckinley would like to be a god
father TO it? Do free silver and econ
omy mean no silver and free and unlim-
tied bonds? Do ekwal taxashun meen a
tax on everything the poor man needs,
and no incum tax for the rich? Do
state rights meen railway strike and
fedral trupes?
II that do mean demokrasy then amt
no ,demokrat. am a outlaw Pleas,
mistur editur, tell me what I am and
WHARF I am at" If don't get straight
end out mighty sumo l may vote Their
Populis tiket, l am getting that reckless.
Yours with sad hart, Sam Sucker.
Zone who haz bin fooled long enuff.)