Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-02-21

must be cold, dear, I'm sure.-Judge.
Hobbs-How is your furnace work
ing this winter? Pitt-Like the mis-
chief on warm days.-Chicago Inter
Ocean.
Baron-My former coachman was
drunk every other day. Are you So
Der? Coachman-O, very often.--Flie-
gende Batter.
Since the fair sex took to wearing
mems apparel the average brother and
sister are bound together by a good
many ties.-Buffalo Courier.
do you like golf?" asked the Phila-
delphia girl. I'm really not sure
whether ever tasted any," gurgled
the Chicago girl.-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
Mrs. Bacon-It is terrible down at
your clearinghouse. You can never
get any hot water. Mr.. Bacon-Only
we have soup, my dear.-Yonkers
Statesman.
Robert Extending a cigar)-There Is
q cigar that can recommend. George
Thanks; but 1 should prefer one
that you would care to smoke yourself.
Boston Transcript.
Blinks OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES greedy
world this Is; the great majority Of
people always after money. Hardup
(sadly)-Yes; and long way after 1t,
too.-Buffalo Courier.
"How could you conscientiously tell
Miss Elder that she is the only woman
you ever lovedY "It is a fact Com
pared to her, the others were mere
girls. Boston Budget.
They say when Cupid aims his darts,
He rarely ever misses;
Yet when he shoots at woman's heart,
IT'S then he makes the Mrs.
Syracuse Post
$50 Rusher has got job ut last, Ell?
wonder is it that one with the Sleep
ing car companyY II guess not. At
least he told me he'd struck a comfor-
table berth."-Buffalo Courier.
Johnny (who has damned his finger)
Plague take ut! Teacher-Oh, John
ny, you shouldn't say that Johnny
You'd oughter hear my papa when he
hurts hisself!-Boston Transcript
Lillie-Why did you speak to that
horrid fellow in the car? Weren't you
afraid it would affect your standing?
Millie-Not a bit. He never offered
girl seat in his life.-The Sketch.
"Mrs. Goodsense is going to start a
dress reform movement here. What
do you think of it?' Mercy! l had
never noticed that her figure was so
bad as all that."-Chicago Inter Ocean.
Insurance agent-Any poetry in your
family? Poet-Why, yes-that isl
-" Insurance agent-Sorry you men,
toned 1t. There are some risks the
company won't take.-Atlanta Consti-
tuition.
(Which do you think is correctY
asked the studious young woman, 81
would rather go home, or had rather
go home" Neither" replied Cholly
Nairgo. "I'd rather stay here. Wash
ington Star.
Witherby-I forgot my latch-key last
night, and when l came home couldn't
get in, so had to wait until the fam
lily got up. Plankington-How long
was it, old man? About half an houry-
New York World.
Primus-Dalton's sight has become
strangely affected, poor fellow. He
sees everything double. Secundus-
BY Jove! I'm glad you mentioned 1t.
/ owe him pound, and I'll tender him
this half sov.-Tit- Bits.
Jones-Why don't you go to work
and earn a living? Smith-Whats the
use? / tried it once for very little
while, and no sooner did earn dol
lar than / had to spend it. So gave
it up.-New York Recorder.
Her young man-I-I-I, sir, would
like Her father-Well, what Is it,
young man? Why don't you stop num-
bling? What have you got in your
mouth? Her young man-I-I'm afraid
it's my heart, sir.-Pearson's Weekly.
First Vassar grille said he could
not live without me; that 1 was, in
short, sine qua non. Second vassar
girl-And you said First vassar
girl-Well, 1 gave him to understand
that he was not exactly persona non
grata.-Harlem Life.
Judge-I understand the plaintiff Is
suing for horse. Attorney-Yes,
your honor, but there seems to be a
hitch about the evidence. Judge
Well, you can't saddle the response
bility on the court. Let the case pro-
ceed.-Atlanta Journal.
"AIr. Bluffiy," she said, graciously,
"you are one Of the most original men
I have met in ever soslongS Kou haven't
said single word about the weather"
NO." he replied, with a tinge Of regret
In his voice, Il couldn't in the presence
Of Observation-Disclosures Star.
The Colonel with ostentatious mod
esty)-Yes, did kill some small bears
when out West. Mrs. Kaustik (who
had heard his tales too often)--Non-
sense. You should say "big bears"
They've been growing ever since you
killed them.-Chicago Record.
Married man--Why don't you get
married. Miss Perkins? You are get
ting to look like a "back number
you will soon be an old maid. Miss
Perkins-If were as easy to please as
your wife was, would have been mar
rid long ago.-Boston Home Journal.
Mistress-I don't know what am to
do, Bridget, unless you get up earlier.
Breakfast is never on the table when