Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1895-08-03
McFARLAND's VOCAL CUR1os.

The Entertaining Oral Idiosyncrasies
Of Il Southern Umpire.
From the New Orleans Times Democrat.
foot" said Mcfarland
The man who hadn't been to Sports
mans Park for two seasons turned to a
crank" at his side and said:
What did he say?"
Two out" returned the crank and
craned his head to watch Abner Powell
slide to first.
"Yuroot?" yelled the umpire.
The newcomer scratched his head.
We'll. he is the greatest I have ever
SEEM" he said.
Mcfarland. the man who said foot"
at the top of this article, is the new umpire
Of the Southern League in these parts.
He looks like college man. and Is said
to be one. but he offers curious study
to the student of pronunciation. He can
say two and three in a way alto
gether his own. It's worth trip to the
park just to hear him say it: so that If the
boys play bad ball and there's no interest
in the game If McFarland's only there to
call balls. why it's all right, and the grand
stand goes home happy.
OF course it is impossible to convey in
cold printers ink the delightful admix-
ture of Kickapoo Indian. Tralee bagpipe
player. fiddle string and fog horn that
unite III the resonant tones OF Mcf drlanQ
when he makes a decision but the follow
ing will give something of a phonetic ap-
Proclamation of the sound of his words:
''Str-r-r-roique wun"'
Boil te-h-h-hoo"
A depression is here necessary to explain
the above. 1t means ball two" but no
letters and few tongues can convey an ade-
quate conception of the strange, the weird,
the almost apparitonal effect of the sound.
Nor can language describe the way Nc
Farland works his face to get the effect
of the prolonged 81" This may give the
ghost of an idea: Lifting his right foot
and jumping into the air with his left he
extends his neck, and while i'll midair takes
an enormous respiration. Landing fairly
upon both heels he places his tongue be-
tween his teeth. sneeZes quickly, initiates a
distant steamboat whistle by breathing
audibly from the throat. and ends with a
deep bass vowel sound; so that the whole,
when placed together into one melody,
united In the above, namely:
"Te-h-hoo!'
Boil th-th-t-h-hhreew
But this is futile. If one ear could speak
to another it alone could describe how
Mcfarland says three" Suffice 1t to say
pulling the sound out of a bottle with a
very small neck. The next words that
he utters shows that he has succeeded.
boil four-ri'
bananas. He has pulled the two" and
the three" up by the roots, dragged them
up out of the bottle neck with his labial
corkscrew. and the -four" comes out with
a smooth, round. relieved cadence that
trickles into the air gently as the run
ner takes his base.
"Owl ball!'
This is one of McFarland's most adroit
oral achievements. He means foul ball."
but the grand stand never catches the az
1t goes over to center like a niger chaser
and the owl comes home. The phenome-
non of this singular disintegration of a
word presents a curious effect: When the
far end of the bleachers hears a sound as
of skyrocket going up 1t is known that a
foul has been struck, and when the grand
stand hears the name of bird which Nc
Fsrland initiates when he says "Te-hoo"
it also knows that foul has been hit.
Mcfarland is the only man in the South
ern League that can throw an ''h'' entirely
across the field. With little practice
he might throw them into London. 1t
wouldn't be a bad idea II he threw most
of them over in the bleachers. where they
are sadly needed. Silver Braun says
he will catch few of them himself, and
use dem on the coach line Seer