Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1895-11-21

pose for everybody's benefit, and one
SAID to his mother. before me, Really
l must go out more. The girls ah -
don you know-want to look at me. -
There little man for you. He can't
even look like a fat, dimple, rosy
checked baby without concluding the
rest OF the world is interested in his
appearance. Then a little man is apt
to be fussy about little things. He
wants TO know when he comes homo
at night about everything that has
happened during the day, and he
don want you TO generalize and say,
Well, | went out and bought new
gown but he wants you to tell him
how many yards and what it cost, and
in q meditative way he wonders il you
couldn't have done with less That is
the sort Of man that brings about d.
vorces. That is cause for divorce
Interference in one's belongings. Some
times this tyne of man can sew. / once
heard of one who made a set of
dollies. But when men come to sew
ing, then it will be time for women
TO assume masculine habiliments. The
aforesaid habiliments, that is a nice
sounding. word for them, are being
advocated by the sanitary woman.
THE SANITARY WOMAN is ABROAD
and over the face of the earth. No
place is sacred TO her, and no human
being is free from her. She tests the
air we Breathe the clothes VIC wear,
the dinners We eat, the friends we
have, and she objects 10 all. She says
the air is full of germs; she says our
clothes are not proper from health
standpoint; she says our dinners dom +
furnish US with the right kind of
globules, and she says our friends are
not magnetically, adapted TO us. !
hate the sanitary woman. Give me
six safety pins and | can min up my
frock so that on the rainiest day the
sklrts Will not get wet, and there will
DO no need for the assumption of the
hablllments 1t is Just possible that |
am ultra conservative, but | am quite
willing to live as my grandmothers did
without sanitary blessings. / like
the days of good food, good times,
good clothes, and good friends. Those
days when if you had a pain you got
either calomel or castor oil; If YOU
had mysterious Jumps in you you died,
but you were not cut to death. And
by the.by, it is funny thing, but
until the doctors knew how to do this
slicing there seemed 10 be nothing to
slice.
LAWS OF THE SANITARY WOMAN.
II you happen to be in the house
with sanitary woman you feel that
you would like to use some of the Ian.
guage so highly appreciated by the
late Mrs. Carlyle. On the arrival Of
the sanitary woman in your home, she
carefully inspects the plumbing and
tells you that it is all wrong. Then
she gives her opinion of the food YOU
offer her, unless you have been wise
enough to lay in stock Of stewed
prunes, health bread and that dreadful
slop they call Shells and which
tastes like mixture Of dish water
and ashes boiled together. Soor after
her arrival she tries to convince YOU
that you are not dressed right and
that she is. Nine times out Of 10 her
sanitary underwear is enough 10
frighten fireman, but she boldly
displays it, and calls you a frivolous
female because you lean to ruiilcs and
Iaces.
Why does this type of woman always
say male" and "femaIe'' instead az
man and woman? She makes me feel
as II | were some sort of four legged
animal, and very ordinary kind of
one at that. She il possessed of an
lmpudenCe that exceeds any [ have
ever encountered, and she has no more
hesltancy in asking the most personal
questions than an ordinary woman
would in saying "good morning" She
seems to gloat over diseases, physical
ones, and, somehow, the sanitary
woman, in time, drifts little wrong
mentally. 1t seems as IL constant
hunting for microbes in the MINIS |
makes her ycarn for human microbes.
aAc, Envelopes in her queer and uncon. |
{I'ht lonal ideas especially about men. |
just think OYER the sanitary women |
N1l have met, and see il / am not
right An ideal episode is the meeting
OF the sanitary woman and the China.
man. she looks excited, he looks |
placid. She tries 10 explain the adyan-
iage Of healthful liyiag and he smiles
any smiles, and listens aud still smolies
GpIum and has friends who are probably
lcpers,
joins CliINAMAN's WAYS.
lhcre Is one thing | have alwavs
like about the Chinaman. When he is
glad to see you, he shakes hands Win
himself Not metaphorically, but
really Some peoples hands are So mn
pleasant There is the cold clamy hand
that gives you q chill and makes ynu
feel that you have an enemy Instead
OF friend, There is The round. oyer
fat hand. that suggests rubber ball
ana conVlnees you that among vour
4 "a
long, thin bony hand, that sets Won IA
wondering as to whether ii IS attached
70 villain or a skeleton. The Chinese
way is the best But SO many 81 their
ways arc funny Their men wear skirts
anu their women wear trousers. The
dfrsamakers are men, the women Arc
messenger boys. Books are read barl,.
ward and foot notes are at tho ion of
NE page, Tho language they speak
lRu t written, and the language they
write isn' I spoken. When they put on
mourning they wear white, and brides
MAIDS VINO arc not maids, but old mar.
ried women, wear black. Their Inst
name comes first, and when YOU dine
with a Chinese gentleman YOU eat
candy first and fish and SOM last
Altogether their modes are a little
peculiar, still they are Fascinating.
To, return to the sanitary woman.
She is "D
SELDOM POPULAR WITH MEN,
who as Il general thing like frivolous
women, unless they are cranks, and
then, OF course, they are not men. Eve
- lriyu!ce, y there can be no doubt that
L'!ith did, and feel sure that all the
women who have made history. by
making trouble, were also frivolous.
but they were charming. There is
nothing Charming in having the air
q lsseetei and the water analysed dur. |
nv mnn- Is MINnnr. Ono 1Innnr.i N -,.-....L |