The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-08-04
MARK TWAIN BEGINS HIS TOUR.
HE Is CARRYING A LECTURE on
MORALS AROUND THE WORLD.


Twain's lecture on Morals" delivered in
Music Hall on Monday evening. July l5. to-
gether with readings from his books:
Il was solicited 10 20 round the world
| on a lecture tour by a man in Australia I
/ asked him what they wanted 10 be lectured
on. lie wrote back that those people were
! very coarse. and serious, and that they
/ would ike something solid. something in
/ the way Of education. something gigantic:
/ and he proposed that prepare about three
/ or four lectures at any rate. on just NOR
/ ais, any kind Of morals. but just morals.
/ and liked that idea. I like it very much,
and was perfectly willing 70 engage in
! that kind Of work. and I should like TO
| teach morals. have a great enthusiasm
/ in doing that. and should like TO teach
morals to those people. I DO not like TO
! have them taught to me. and I do not
/ know of any duller entertainment than
that, but I know can produce a quality
/ Of goods that will satisfy those people.
IF you teach principles, why. you had
/ better let illustrations come first, illus
/ trations which shall carry home TO every
I person. planned my first lecture on NOR
/ ais. 1 must not stand here and talk all
night; get out watch; 1 am talking the
/ first time now, and I do not know any
thing about the length of it.
Il would start with two or three rules
4 Of modern principles which 1 want 10
/ impress upon those people. I will just
/ make the lecture gradual, by and by. The
/ Illustrations are the most important. so
/ that when that lecture is by and by writ
/ ten and completed, it will just be a wave
| less ocean with this archipelago of smil-
/ ing green islands of illustrations in the
/ midst OF il.
! Il thought I would state a principle
/ which l was going TO teach. I have this
/ theory for doing a great deal Of good out
/ there, everywhere, in fact, that you should
! prize as a priceless thing every trans
gression, every crime that you commit
/ the lesson of it, I mean.
! Make it permanent; impress ii so that
you may never commit that same crime
/ again as long as you live; then you will
see yourself what the logical result Of that
! will be-that you will get interested in
/ committing crimes. You viii lay up in
] that way, course by course, the edifice
/ Of a personally perfect moral character.
| You cannot afford to waste any crime;
/ they are not given to you to be thrown
/ away, but FOR great purpose. There are
/ 462 crimes possible, and you cannot adj
! anything to this; you cannot originate
/ anything. These have been all thought
/ out by most capable men in the peniten-
| tiary. When you commit a transgression
| lay it up in your memory, and, without
| stopping, il will all lead toward moral
! perfection. When you have committed
/ your 1852 you are released of every other
! possibility and have assembled the staircase
/ of faultless creation, ana you finally stand
| with your 462 complete with absolute NOR
/ al perfection, and l am more than two
/ thirds up there. 1t is immense Inspiration
/ to find yourself climbing that way, ana
/ have not much further to go. 1 shall have,
| then, that moral perfection, and shall
| then see my edihce of moral character
| standing fair before the world all COM
plete. l know that this would produce
! it. Why, the first time that l ever stole
! a watermelOn-I think it was the first
! time, but this is no matter, it was right
along there somewhere carried that
watermelon TO a secluded bower. You
may call it a bower, and 1 suppose you
/ may not. l carried that watermelon TO
a secluded bower in the lumber yard, and
] broke it open, and it was green.
Now, then, began to reflect; there is
/ the virtual-that is the beginning of refor-
nation when you reflect When you do
not reflect that transgression is wasted
on YOU. l began to reflect, and l said to
myself, have done wrong; II was wrong
in me to steal that watermelon-that kind
of watermelon. And said to myself: Now
! what would a right-minded and right-n-
tentioned boy do, who found that he had
done wrong-stolen a watermelon like
this. What would he do; what must he do?
/ Do right; restitution; make restitution.
/ He must restore that property to its own
! er; and l resolved to do that, and the mo-
I ment | made this good resolution I felt
! that electrical moral uplift which becomes
/ victory over wrong doing. ] was spirit
ually strengthened and refreshed, and car
ried that watermelon back to that wagon
and gave it to that farmer-restored it to
/ him, and l told myself he ought to be
ashamed of himself going around working
/ off green watermelons in that way on Deo-
/ pie who had confidence in him, and l
| told him in a perfectly frank manner that
| it was wrong. l said that if he did not
stop he could not have my custom: and he
was ashamed. He was ashamed; he said
he would never do it again, and l believe
that l did that man a good turn, as well as
one for myself. He did reform: 1 was Sc
we're with him a little, but that was all
| l restored the watermelon and made him
| give me a ripe one. 1 morally helped him.
/ and l have no doubt that l helped myself
the same time, for that was a lesson which
remained with me for my perfection.
Ever since that day to this 1 never stole
another one--like that.
Then have another theory, and that
| is TO teach that when you do a thing do il
| with all your might l remember a man in
California, Jim WHAT'S his-name, Baker
| He was a hearty man Of most gentIemanly
spirit, and had many fine qualities. He
lived for many years in California among
| the woods and mountains; he had no com
partnership but that of the wild creatures
of the forest. To me he was an observant
man. He watched the ways of the differ
! ent creatures so that he got so that ne
could understand what the creatures said
to each other and translate it accurately.
He was the only man 1 ever knew who
could do this. 1 know he could because he
told me SO himself, and he says that some
OF the animals have very slight education
and small vocabulary, and that they are
not capable of using figures and allegory.
| but there are other animals that have n
! large vocabulary. The creatures are very
| fond of talking. They like to show off.
and he placed the bluejay at the head of
/ the list He said:
Now, there is more to the bluejay than
to any other animal He has got more
different kinds of feeling Whatever a
bluejay feels he can put into language.
and not mere commonplace, but straight
/ out-and-out book talk. And there is such
| a command of language You never saw,