The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1895-08-27
HUNOit 0F THE DAY.

sIsu't Smith poet?" ''No; can't
borrow a quarter TO have his hair cut
that's ali!"-Atlanta Constitution.
Kitty" "Why do they call it Ocean
Bluff Eouse?'" Tvm-'' -''Eccause it
makes bluff at being on the ocean"
Puck.
Jack" "To feather your nest yo';
must have money" Tom Eyes, there
is nothing so delightful rs cash down"
-Truth
Now tha druggists fa"a IS hcam;nS. as fha
ni"lirls {" him r;r%:.
Aul Il" think: tii"r"i Iun in selling ir2ta
Z; half-f.-iimc Il glass.
--Erston Couricr.
"l'm going to marry sensible wo-
man" ''lmpossible. "Why"
"rhey are the ones who wont marry
you. "-lrrth,
81 hate these bicycles built for two, "
said Miss Jemmison. eft encourages
people to talk behind your back. -
Harper's Bazaar.
Little Glrl-.'What Is tact, papa:
Papa-"Something every woman has
and dexercises until she gets married.
New York Weekly.
"Oh, don't mind it so much, ssf1
the sporty ex-banker, cheerfully, alter
the failure; ''wo had a run for our
money, anyhow !'-Puck.
First Physician-''Is this case that
demands q consultation" Seecnd
Physician-'I think 1t is. The
patient is extremely rich" -TrutE'
Tommy-"Paw, what IS the board
of clucation?" Mr.. Figg-"1n tho
days when l went to school 1t was q
pine shinglc. - indianapolis journal.
"Hr ha., mon"yto burn" is 4 phrase played
out.
In this season before do; days ara lei;
And now. to ease Il financial dDuh:.
We arc prone to say, II" has Ice - nelt'
Detroit Free Press,
els this the first time you've
ever been in love, darling" She
Observation-Disclosures; but it's so nice
chat I hope it won't be the last r.
Tlt-Bits.
"Guy, do be quiet" said mamma;
"rou are so noisy" 'l'm obliged to
make noise, mamma; somebody
might take me for a girl. "-Phlla'
delphia Times.
jasper. Gas men grow older they
crow meaner." Jumpuppe-'Natur
ally. The older they grow tho more
thay learn how mean the rest OF the
world is. Truth.
Clara Winter5loom-''There is only
enough to about half fill this trunk.
What shall | do: fill it with papers"
Mrs. WinterbIoom-"No; let your
father pack it. "-Brooklyn Life.
Mother -'If You wnuted to go fish
inc, why didn't you ask me instead OF
running off and going?" Johnnie
(rrom experience -" because | wanted
to 90 fishin'. ."-DetroiS Free Press.
BARLOW made rash pre-
diction inst now Cumso-""hat
lid he say?" Cawler -"He said that
the time would come when 1t woulG
be respectable to be honest. - udSe.
Van Pelt-"Isn't 81 day rather
high for Il hotel in the mount"ins"
LanllorI-" "But, my dear sir, you
should think of the scenery. Van
PcIt-"How much do yon charge or
i.nt?"-New York World.
II hava hparI worss playing than tnat'
said he.
As H.. r"as.,I, Wit, u cheerful air,
And the audiencr wcari!r rose to 50.
And 81 liz murmurs:l ''Wh"rc?'
Life.
"Who is the master Of this house:
asked the agent of the man who an
syered his ring. "Well," was the
curious response, in resigned tone,
ST am the husband and father. -
Life.
First Little Girl-"Anl Isn't your
cat afraid of mice?" Second Little
Girl-"Ob, no, not single bit "
First Little Girl -" that's queer. And
she's 81 lady cat, too, isn't she p
Somerville Journal.
Kitiy-'I understand Mr.. Softeigh
fell off the dock aul it WAS fifteen mill
utcs before he WAS tished out. Jane
--"How did he keep his head above
water so long?" Kitty-"lt was the
lishtest part, 1 presume. "-Detrolt
Free Press.