The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1895-01-16
A NOVEL GUARANTEE.
A COMPANY THAT FURNISHES GER
TiFIcATEs TO wooERs.

riageable Daughter Rather One Sided,
ns the wife Is Not Bound-An Inter
viewer of whom Something Was Known.
Seeing the sign over the door, | enter
ed. "If you wish to confer with the
president, sir, " said the young man in
front, you will find him in his private
office" and thanking him entered the
rear room, where pleasant faced man
greeted me cordially
Wont you bo saated?" he said,
grasping me Ivy tho hand "Is your
| businoss-or-conf
mot at all, " replied AS / was
passing by | thought | would stop i'm
and inquire into the ua ure and scope
of tho Lovers Guarantee company,
which | sec advertised so extensively. "
Certainly, herospondod 81 shall
be only too glad to inform you what we
are here for. Tho Lovers Guarantee
company was formed for tho purpose of
securing good husbands TO all maidens
fundamentally inclined, and the great
success we have met with thus fer
proves that there is an excellent reason
for our existence. Tho average man Of
affairs has little time to look up tho
character and antecedents Of the young
fellow who applies for his daughters
hand. We look him up, and if he is sat
isfactory he gives us bond, which ell
titles him to certificate guaranteeing
him to be all that he claims. This bond
may be good for FIVE or ten years. A
mans financial status is of course easy
to determine but it is into the finer at
tributes of character that we examine
particularly. Our certificate is an abso-
lutte guarantee of the man. OF course
we have to be particular, for should the
wife at any time insist upon separa-
tion and show cause under the contract
we would have tc pay all her legal ex-
penses and furnish her new husband
or make over to Ler certain payments. "
But suppose" said l. latter the
man is married off, there develops some
hidden trait, some idiosyncrasy that
causes unhappiness, but not separation,
what do you do them"
Such cases, )" replied the president
Of the Lovers Guarantee company, "are
rare, but Of course they do occur. In
case like this we examine into the cause
Of the difficulty, and if the man be
wrong the fact that he is under bond
gives us power over him, and generally
we bring him to terms
'But, said l, suppose the woman
in the case is wrong?'
This" explained the president, sis
extremely unfortunate, as we have no
means of reaching her direct, having no
power over her. We can, however, ad-
wise tho man what to do, generally with
most felicitous results. AS rule, these
differences come from ignorance on both
sides. Where they are extreme and
separation is advisable we have in our
employ the best lawyers, and divorces
are obtained in the most private way.
"Wo have in our employ one of the
most eminent phrenologists in the coun-
try, who examines the heads of all ap-
plicants, Our head physician, who gave
up large practice to come with us, has
a growing staff of assistants, and these
look carefully into the physical condi-
tion Of the applicants. You may depend
upon it that when an applicant has sue
cessfully run the gantlet we lay ort for
him he will make good husband. We
advise all young married people to have
homes Of their own, no matter how
humble, and have home bureau through
which member can obtain advice on
the most desirable way to live, the best
locations, list of houses and apart
ments and the lowest rents. By this
means we are enabled to make an ar
rangement with landlords so that our
patrons can obtain certain discounts and
privileges. Were you thinking-ahemi
of entering upon the new life?'
"Oh, no." replied modestly. ~ am
already married. and" I added laugh
ingly, "Idon't suppose cases of this sort
come under your jurisdiction
Indeed they do, )" replied the presi.
dent of the Lovers Guarantee company.
"We have lately formed department
for the benefit Of married people and
find it to be a great success. For small
sum yearly, in advance, we furnish la
dies with advice as to the proper man.
agement Of husbands and direct them
how to act in special emergencies For
instance, should husband be called
away too frequently at night 'on busi-
ness, imbibe too freely-I may say this
is one Of our greatest obstacles - or
should he become i'll natured or non.
tractable, we tell her what to do"
Is this department secret?"
NNot at oll - ha sTrIaa1