The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1895-05-23

! hapS you will remember how distract
ed was the whole afternoon. I recall
two times that you withdrew your
darling little slippers further back un-
der your skirt, catching my satyr eye
upon them. This is only silly de-
tail, but l mean by i'll had to stay
away those three days for which you
reproach me. Send me some word!
Are you angry with me? Will you
ever speak to me again? Or are you
only disappointed with me, which
! would be worse! Or do you'll can't
help it,, must write it, and for Gods
sake answer, lido you love me?
.... ~.,,. ....t Jack.
November % 1S94.-Dear Jack: No,
I am not angry with you, and l will
speak to you the next time you give
me Il sane chancc-and-I don't love
you. Here there is something
scratched out, which by holding to the
light one can read.) I will confess
that If We're not-(there the sentence
was broken and the pen run across
it several times; the letter continucs)
Il think now I've answered your
principal questions, and l will tell
you just what happened when l re-
ceived your letter. First - Dick
brought it to me, young Dick, mean,
four years old to-duy-diln't you just
a little forget him? son. said, as l
took the envelope, there's Il letter
from Uncle Dick!'
"Now We'll know what's become of
him all this time Bully Uncle
Jack!' answered Dick. q think the
adjective was one of your many pres
ents to him. How about that
"Uncle" Do you want to throw away
all light to that adopted title? And
don't you want to keep the adjective
too, till you're an old man, and
Dickies your Hgc now! Well. I opened
the letter to read it, but before l had
finished some one came into the room.
and for the first time III my life l had
a letter in my hands l was ashamed
OF and wished to hide. AS soon as 1
was alone 1 read it over again, and
tried to laugh and think it was a joke,
and almost looked for Il calendar to
see ii it wasn't somehow or other the
first Of April. Then l had a cup Of
tea, sent word that I was to be denied
to everybody, and read your letter for
the third time. Then did laugh hon
estly. but cried, too, and having fin
lshed with satisfactory fit Of hyster-
les, felt better, and cleared out and
arranged my dreSSing-table drawers
Then l began to answer you, and this
is the sixth letter I've started to write.
l don't know if I shall send this or
not. which is silly for me to say, for
Of course if you don't get it you'll
know 1 didn't.
The trouble is. every one Of the five
others was a lie, and this begins with
a lie. too, and now I'm going to take
it back. I can't help what I've al
ready written. I'm going to tell you
the truth now.
Jack, | do love you. But don't stop
here: be sure you finish this letter
Yes,I do love you, God help me! mot
God forgive me, I don't ask him to
forgive me. He knows that haven't
grown to love you of my own accord,
that it's been in spite of myself, that
I've tried with all my strength of will
not to love you. How is it. I WONDER
that the only thing the mind can't
control is the heart. It's true; you see
evidences Of it all about you. Your
best: friend turns around and marries
the man that bored her to death in
II,
again in the end)
But to go back. or rather to go on
with what I have to write. When
Dicks father so far forgot his bow
and me as to start a second home he
killed my love for him, which had be-
fore this filled every nook and creyice
of my heart. Dead, how that love
shriveled up into nothing! and as time
instead of better, I put the Withered
corpse out of my heart and swept the
place and closed it, and vowed would
keep it empty and clean. 1t isn't
empty any longer, but you must help
me keep it clean. Jack, dear Jack, do
you know what it is for woman-a
young woman who knows what love
is, who has had it and lost it, and has
seemed to be living only under a. mid
night sun ever since-suddenly to find
herself warmed, inspired, glorified I'M
der the rays of a golden MONDAY; all,
! with this knowledge that her ideal
still exists, if she can't attain it that
she can be loved, is loved. as she can
love, does love in return? All l can
say is, the joy is so great it is worth
bearing all the pain, the pain that
| of unloved wives! For the love of
husband and wife is the most precious
thing in life. 1t is the only thing that
takes precedence of all others; it
is the emperor. Children leave father
and mother, when their little fingers
grow big enough for the golden circle;
and so you see that while Just now
Dickie is to me the greatest comfort
and joy, cannot honestly say he fills
the empty space in my heart, made for
another love than his. In a few short
years he, too, will find the same empty
spot in his own heart and fill it with
some good woman's love, I hope. And
then what a loneliness for me! s.
And yet somehow it is largely the boy
that keeps me-that and myself For
in spite of all this loneliness (Which I
doubt sometimes if many men could
imagine) which affects me. I couldn't
go away with you, I know.
But not trusting wholly to nv emo
lions, [ should always, all my life, be
ashamed
But not trusting wholly to my emo
lions, l have reasoned it out. 1 have
taken up an old visiting list, and
there is Mrs. Y, the first name