St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1895-01-28
CORK PLAYS EUCHRE.
be Attends Another Social
Function With DisaS-
trous Results.
he STARTS OUT ALL RIGHT,
eut Is Pursued by a Crazy
Hostess With a Conduct
or's Punch.
he STARTS OUT ALL RIGHT,
ais 0LD-TIME FRIEND MAG
Shows Up Somewhat Unex-
pectedly, and More Trou-
bic Follows.

Iattended another social function the
other night and had trouble with the
family. 1t all grew out Of their igno
rance Of the ways of society. In at
tempting TO show them the proper way
to act, broke up the party. had
nearly SIS much fun as L had at the
Summit avenue dinner where ran up
against my old friend Mag, who used to
be a hasher in a chop house. A few
days ago found amongst my many in
VitatiOns one to a progressive euchre
blowout on the hill.
Most of my invitations come from the
hill. | don't accept any others. People
down town invite me because they want
Il report of the affair in the paper. PeO-
pie on the hill invite me for myself
alone. They kick if they see their names
in print. never write about anything
l attend myself. am never invited ITO
the same place twice. The reason for
this is that the people fear my profess
slonal enthusiasm will cause me to write
report Of their party. You all knO w
that society people don't want anyb ody
to know what it's doing. This is true
in many respects.
l decided to go TO the euchre blowout.
! also decided not to wear my full dress
suit. | wore it to the theater one night
and people didn't recognize me. They
thought was hasher out OH lark.
Besides they invited me to the eachre
party for myself, not for my clothes.
They ought not to kick if | came ID a
towel, because people are supposed to
suit their own comfort on such Oeca-
Sions. The euchre party was all right.
but it ended diSaStrouSlY for me. l
know all about euchre, but wasn't on
to the progressive part of it. Hence
the trouble. In the first place l had
"A Dummy for a Partner
She played as if there was something
In it, and had CRAVING of the HAIR be-
cause, in accordance with the customs
Of society, didn't pay any attention to
the game and try to win out. Anybody
would have thought, to see her play,
that she was stalking her life on the re
suit Anyhow, she was one Of those
faded yellow-skinned Creoles, and [
couldn't stand for her. she wasn't the
real thing. She was only an imitation,
and she wouldn't do.
Every time | attend social function
l am stacked up against nine spot
like that. 1t isn't on the square. Pm
no josh mark. The next time it hap
pens Pm going to do something thafil
make them all leave the place. NV
nIne-spOt partner didn't know any more
about euchrc than i.ill Lewis does about
acting. Anybody who saw Lii knows
how my partner played. or tried to play
euchre. She was strictly on the bum
When | first struck the house | made a
frost. / was introduced to Harry Bangs.
why" said l to the hostess, you're
foolish. l knew Harry before you
started to give euchre parties. He's
stuck on the game, too. | saw him
playing with hackdriver in a wine
room the other night. That shows how
he likes the game"
The hostess hurried me on into the
other room; hurried me because Their
were other people waiting to meet me
They had heard Of me dragging for Office
and had curiosity. They had NOR,
than that before | got throu Oh will
them.
Just before the game came off thu
hostess showed me three things which
she said were prizes.
One Of Them Was a Vavvse.
Ihat Is the proper way to say it if yot