The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-01-27
A ROMANCE OF DULLTOWN.

BY J. w. TEMPLE.
Copyright, 1895. by s. S. Mcclure, Linn
ited.l

tIdHUS, SITUATED on the line OF the X. X
j. railroad, in the county of Blank, and
the state of Incogn7to.
To describe 1T as a. real estate agent
would do, it is the centre of a fine agrlcul-
tuTaa region. and trading point of no
mean order, judged by the staples
stripped from its depot, and the merchan-
disc sold by dts several "stores" to the
country people located near it 1t has the
regulation supply of shops. Offices and
Warehouses; its churches, its schools, its
line residences and humble cottages; it
numbers among its population its rich
man, its well-to-do tradesmen, its day
daboreTs, Its lcafers; it has its preachers,
hts doctors, its teachers; it has its local
politicians, its office-seekers, its cranks,
2tS weather prophets, its orators for
tourUh-ot-July demands and other occa-
Sions. " has its local S1uabbleS, its pro-
EeSSlOna1 Jeal0uSleS, it's commercial riVal-
mes. II has its rnilliners, its dressmakers,
us nSshlonable coteT1eS, and their humble
AnioatorS. 1t has its elections, on which
days society is stirred to its prOfOundeSt
depths by the struggles of Smith, Brown
ana Jones to become constable, justice,
assessor or collector. 1t also takes a live
paIE IN greater affairs, and sends its three
or tour delegates to county conventions
with commendaiOle punctuality.
II, aN of these pointers having been
gwen the intelligent reader cannot To-
cate the village or town i'm the writer's
mind, he must be dull indeed. He can
nave NO more data from me. It is quite
possible, however, that different persons
VIII locate it differently, as 1 SO on with
an analysis OF some of the peculiarfties Of
3tS prominent citizens.
tNrSt, that We may show a proper re-
specJ Tor wealth, let US commence with
the rich man of the town.
I'h1s important parsonage, who has now
EeIlreu from active commercial pursuits,
ana is III the enjoyment of dignifed old
age, came TO the county Of Blank in its
early. settlement. Having a little money
and much shrewdness, he decided that
pneahlnS prairie and raising stock was a
SLOW way 10 wealth; so he established a,
country store, where he could enjoy
monopoly OF the trade, and whatever per-
cent4Ge ne choose to ask on his sales,
Wnlch Sinlpihed merchandising very much
an thoSe early days. He also invested
some spare money in buying tax titles,
having the good luck Thereby TO become
lhe owner OF several pieces of land for
1eited by their former owners, under
pressure OF the times, to the inevitable
Tx laws. He also gave credit, and even
dn2Qe small loans. at big interest, TO sew
eral farmers, VINO owned occasionally
good farms in his vicinity, but were poor
calculatorS; and when the times of set
IIement came, and the debtors failed to
pay, further obliging them by extending
the time, on their executing certain mort
cages TO secure the same, which mort
cages generally swallowed farms and i'm
proFenentS when the times got bad. as
they usually did in those DAVIS These
1arms thus falling into his hands he
mortgage to secure the balance or rented
20 tenants, taking chattel mortgages to
secure the rent on the crops and teams of
mis- renters, so that. let crops succeed or
IAN, ne was safe; and, in fact a failure
OF puyer or tenant was better to him
IMAM thelr success So, in a few years
ne quit merchandising, and set up as a
banker-loaned money, shaved notes.
bought and sold farms-aud is now re
Fnl'ed from active business unless collect
saS renls ana cutting coupons be called
mi 411a
WeIl-spent life in the Difference and de-
pendence OF hosts of his old neie-hbors
thousn some are Nl-natured enough to
aSSocAate ms name with that OF one Shy
JOCK, OF ShakeSpeaT6an memory: but there
are enVlouS men everywhere, as also
Vhere are men who call a spade a. spade
II would give me great pleasure TO so
on describing other residents OF Dull
town, ii DID not fear to bore the rea der
should !lke TO describe its one lawyer,
whose principal forte it was TO stir M
llugat1on in the nefghborJhood [ should
nike 10 sketch The two justices OF the
peace, ulsnlned as owls. and as ignorant
OF law, but with fairly good Judgment
70 get at the equity of cases unless be-
logged by the lawyers. I should like TO
uescr1be the preachers, who, filling their
several appointments, came every two
Years, full OF energy and purpose to do
much good, but who found themselves
confronted at the start by Quarrelsome
chqueS Within their own churches and
petty jealousies, chickering's and scaDYials
without, which neutralized their best eff
1orts az reform; While social life hed its
casts, its SETS" and its rsfr7 SINS
which no merit in the Individual nor In
terest in the cause could combat I
could describe, also, that ubiquitous per-
punctualiy put in an appearances every
evening at the corner restaurant or ogled
young ladies on their way to church; who,
IN spite OF the care of the authorities
found means to keep his flask fflled-and
enpued-eVery DAY, and became eloquent
9ll9 raeIoqlous frequently, as well as err
ingS; also that class of hangers-on of the
village who seemed to have no visible
means Of SuppOrt-t.hose unsolved conun-
drums of every community who 'etoil
not neither do they spin" but vet con-
tTiVe to keep fat and sleek
could describe another class-most
active IN the village life of DulltoWn-
that class OF Self-constituted censors of
r.ubllc morals, whose duty and pleasure
IT seems 10 be TO watch over the affair
OF oTher people, much gra-tified to find a
screw loose or a flaw somewhere in the
Tunnlng-gearS of the social machine In
deed, 50 Jealous do they become, that
they grow prophetic, predicting evils, they
can't see; and, like the dentist in his
work, Of they find no cavities try t0
make them. They have capital nases for
fauFts-they assign discreditable causes
for actions. good or bad; if frailty claimsd
FlcIm, lhey 'Susplcioned Il long sgO:
II misfortune overlook a, neighbor, they
had looked for it from his foolish man
agement To be first to unearth a slam
der and to variegate it with fanciful dec
olTat1ons Is: as Scott says, the very
Sklnming of their life's cream
But all these pointers will help The
reader little 10 locate Dulltown- There
are several villages we know of, pos
sessed of like citizens; and the reader
viii feel like calling the writer to time
and bidding him quit generalities, ana
drive ON with his wagon
Well, DulltOWn had its romance. Start
rot, ncredulous reader. 1t is not alone
the unexpected, but the improbable thai
happens Was it probable that a tan.
ner of Gaaena. or a sheriff of Buffalo, a
51ali-sPII1ter OF Illinois, or a canal-boat
boy of Ohio, would fill the worlds high.
est places? Was amy good expeefed
10 come out of NAZARETH" So a 70.
nance IS possible anywhere even ir
DuAtoWn. For the ingredients of romance
are they? Youth, love, ambition, hope
success. Given a poor but gallant youtl
for a lover; lovely, romantic maiden
with TeEnlatlon blpe or hazel or DARK
3a the shape of village sociables. OF
other leveling or democratic assem- bIages
where 1.-THE rich and the poor meet to-
gether," and 'fthe Lord is the maker al
Them all.'' as the Bible SAYS. to iIiustrat Re
the dwelling function Of such meetings.
and you have material for a romance
even in the .Dulltowns of the world
So we Will prepare to mix our ineredi
epts. Perhaps the incarnation of Mac
beth's witches would be a. good introduc
ton: Double, double, toll and trouble
But 1t needs no mystic rhyme, Trouble
viii double" fast enough Of its own mo
ton in such cases as this But we wi
artfully adjourn our story here to tn,
leAt chapter.
II.
The widow Brown moved into Dulltowl
one cold day in November or 1 forge
what year. But no matter. thine is no
the essence of my contract" It is NOR
,.roptia1 N COW fbot rho Widow Io,o.,.,