New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1895-05-19


In Ohio there is a law making 1t obligatory on
dealers afiix the label POISON on all ootues u
household ammonia sold
POSSIBLY Truc-she-Here Is the story OF man
who says he never made love to girl IN MS "ie'
HeNft may be true Some fellows make speciality
of widows, you know Indianapolis Journal
At the Police Court-Ginn-Who is that tough
looking prisoner whispering to the Judge!
Finn-Great Scott. man. that lis not prisoner,
he is lawyer.
A Question of Charges.-Ford-Your lawyer made
some pretty severe charges against the other ie'-
Smaiiwort-Y-e-e-s but you ought to see how he
charged me.-tCincinnau Tribune
The City Council OF Joliet. H., has adopted
resolution declaring that after careful nvescsa-
ton Of the etymology OF the word Joliet. and its
origin II Is ordained that the only Official correct
and proper pronunciation and spelling OF the name
OF this city shall be Joliet the accent on the
first syllable. with the % In such first syllable
pronounced in Its long sound. as In the words So.
mo-, and foe;" and that ut shall be the duty OF
the officers OF public schools TO prepare ana
enforce such rules as will be best calculated to
secure the proper training OF the young"
CYNICAL SUMMARY
This world is but a fleeing show.
And little JOY he CLEANS
Who curiously undertakes
To look behind the scenes.
II Is not what the player does
That In the long run tells
In rounding out his baseball fame,
But what the umpire yels.
The neetest racer sometimes fails
The victory 10 claim,
IT'S not the horse that gets In first.
But the one the judges name.
And SO 1T is with all success
That human life may zee;
IT'S not the man that counts but what
-(washngton Star.
In a humorous article on the whiskers OF Kansas.
local writer describes one style OF beard that bids
fair 10 make Kansas famous He says There u
still to be found In Kansas an od-fashioned wind
catcher which may be called the family or roller
towe.' whisker. The Peferan whlsker Is a NO
giant family whiskcr This beard Is worn by men
with smalllsh heads and does duty as neckte. nap
kim playthng for the children. savings bank where
the shaving money Is invested. and lung pad II 10
found generally upon retired school teachers Few
lawyers and an occasional Campbcllite minister"
Home Lectures on Finance. Hobbes-I tell you
I'd like to have wife who could discuss question:;
home your wife never talks over the money ques-
ton with you. does she? .....
Poorpusse-Doesnt talk over the money question:
You just ought to hear her when she wants a new
hat.-(Chlca.o Record
Says THE Philadelphia Record: The recent de-
cIsion OF the Supreme Court which classed BIZ
cycles under the head OF vehicles and made II obsa-
tory for cyclcrs to pay toll on country roans nas
aroused a storm OF Indignation among cyclers OF
this city. A cycler one OF the suburban roads.
however. recently hit upon clever plan for the
clrcumventing OF the decision. and. hence. OF tho
tollgate-keepers. Coming to tolgate during
spin along the road.-the cycer dIsmounted. picked
up hts wheel. slung 1t over his back and walked
past the astonished gate-keeper. Arriving at the
other side, he again mounted his wheel and sped
away
who gave her note to the manager OF e'r TS,.
club It read as follows; Dear Mr. a.; ,s LMr
c w1msb back: "psar SIR dare say she does but
don't fancy the job"-Crid Bits
The first number OF the new college mag
azne the Bachelor OF Arts" appeared
yesterday. The editor is John Seymour WOOD
who Is the author OF several college pun
LEGATIONS. The assistant editors are Walter
Camp. we'll known all the country as
leading writer college athletics. and Edward D.
Martin. who has been Life" stan for some
years. and with Harper Brothers. Harry q. CHAP
man will manage the business side or the enter
prise. The first number contains an article ON
Town and Gown Rows at Yale" by ex-Judse
Henry +. Rowland disclosing the name OF Inc
student who murdered O'Neill In New-Haven IN
1854 Charles Stewart Dawson has written a story
for the frst number. Another article OF interest
Is by the wife OF Professor Todd. or Amherst VINO
was an intimate friend Of Miss Emily Dickinson.
and who furnishes through the medium OF tho
new maya zine letters OF Miss Dickin-
sons There Is also interesting critsaue on
BENJAMIN Kids famous book. This Is the nrst
attempt to publish general magazine by college
men, not illustrated. The cost OF Illustrations has
hitherto been found great that It was impossible
to succeed. unless the pictures Of college men, etc.
were paid for BY the subjects themselves The Adj
vsory Board OF the new magasine includes Joseph
H. Choate Chauncey NJ. Depew. J. Frederic Kerno-
chs Il.
w. Alexander. william u. Hornblower. Robert
Grant. OF Boston, the weknown writer; Henry
Cabot Lodge. Austen O. Fox. Elihu Root Daniel
q. Rollins. Henry II. Beekmsn William Jay. Julien
7. Davies and Henry E. Rowland.
The BARRIERS LATHE Joke-'I see You wear .
Grand Army button" said tho man In the chair
Eyes. san said the barber with a smile.
"nelong to q colored post. I supposer'
mo. sab; the cullud post belongs TO me, san
II was not till he had stepped out and seen the
BARRIERS sign that the customer saw the point.