Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1895-06-29
CUPID HAS AN ENEMY
PERSISTENT SOLICITORS WHO DETER
WOULD BE EENEDIcfS.

WOULD BE EENEDIcfS.
Matrimonial Ventures AEadc Extra Hazard
ous By the ucst For Business-A Hair
Raising Warning From . L;sc Insurance
Man.
When the young man walked into tie
newspaper Office and timidly asked the
society editor if she would kindly insert
a notice Of his approaching marriage. he
little thought CT the troable he was
bringing down upon his head.
The announcement YVES printed Scn-
day. When he reached his office Mon
day, he found - stack Of letters waiting
for him, every ono addressed in hand
writing he did not know. he whistlod
when he opened the first. ditto the Sec
ord, looked a bit surprised at the con-
tents of the third and swore fiuently
through tic Gciaace Of the pile. At noon
there were moro. At night there We're
others.
; Despite tho evident curiosity of his
fellow laborers in the Office he did not
take soul into his confidence until the
third day. Then he remarked to his
deslE,ates:
s'Say, tho great American life insur-
ance man isn't overlooking any bets
these days. is hc?"
Wherefore this outbarst?"
For answer the groom to be went to q
drawer and produced q stack containing
LAT lette-s-,e said that was the exact
number, though his friend did not count
thor,-tho accumulation since that fate
full Sunday morning.
every blamed one of them Is from
some agent for sclae life insurance COM
pany who wants to insure my life. Each
one represents the best company Oh the
face of the earth. Each pays the largest
dividends. Each invests the money OF
its patrons TO the very best advantage.
Each moralizes on the uncertainty Of
life and seeks to impress upon me the
solemn duty l owe to my wife that is to
bs to get my life insured for a million
or two Of dollars. And each blessed ono
has come since the announcement Of, my
approaching wedding was printed. F"
The young man paused moment,
then he dug into tho pile and after o
few moments search produced docu-
ment which he showed at his friend,
simply saying:
"Just look at the devilish ingenuity
displayed in tho construction of that
thing"
The "thing" was about the size Of o
theatrical poster known as three sheet,
in other words, three Of them will paper
the side Of barn. Down the center, at
regular intervals, werc q lot Of notices
and warning exhortat;on printed in typo
three times the size of the context, and
in red ink. Here is one choice extract
from the document: lin the Eaidst of
life wo arc in death.
"Let us call your attention that it is
every husbands duty-his solemn duty
to provide for those dependent upon
him. No one knoweth when the angel
of death may Knock at the door of howell
or mansion and how can one be prepared
for his coming. unless time is taken by
the financial forclock? Think of the ray
Of hope which breaks through the clouds
of bitter bereavement when tho SORROW
ing ones reflect that by the careful fore
thought Of the dear departed poverty has
been prevented from adding its horrors
to those of tho grave. 1t is your duty to
provide for your loved ones. Do not pat
it off until tomorrow, for in the Ian
guage of the poet. Tomorrow never
There was another paragraph in the
xl,k cl,oyra<1 Tho foY1ch IF .,
master hand. Itran something like this
"Our policies are devised and de-
signed to meet the wants and needs of
all people desiring insurance. They are
liberal They arc honest. They bring
the very best returns. We have ideal
policies which we can safely recommend.
We can and will guarantee endowment
results at much less than endowment
rates. And again we pledge ourselves to
furnish paid up policies at far below the
usual cost Our dividends are often five
times as large as those of other con-
panies on similar policies. We also make
speciality of making liberal loans to
our clients ON their policies. We are in
the field for business and we mean to get
it. Aud don't you forget it,"
"Do not leave your wife and babies
dependent on charity"
The elocutionary effect the benedict
to be threw into the reading of these ex-
tracts gained him a round of applause
from his companions. 1t also brought to
him the knowledge that every other
man in the Office who was married-in
Chicago-had been similarly afflicted.
But that brought no balm to his soul,
and lie continued to kick. BE didn':
think it the proper thing to do and be
announced his intention of writing a
circular letter to the various individuals
who had importuned him to take q
risk" and informing them Of his feel
ings.
Don't do it, my boy" said the head
| bookkeeper "Wait until after you arc
| married You will get forty Of these
things their to one now, and then you II
have to get out another letter. Wait till
then, and tl,en you can address yourself
at one and the same time to the life in
surance agent, the furniture dealer, the
grocer, the man who has second hand