Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-11-21
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III proverbs dangers often Turk
Their meaning rather hazy;
"The happy man sings at his work.
But-drives the others crazy.
Atlanta Constitution.
Prisoner-"What, that man is going
to defend me? Why, he couldn't bring
an innocent person through! File
gende Blaetter
''Tom has proposed, and asks me to
give him his answer in a letter. "Shall
you do it," mo; will be more liberal
and give him his answer in two letters"
-Harper's Bazaar.
Wallace-"How did you feel the first
time you got into BARRIERS chair for al
shave?" Ferry-'"ro tell the TRUTH
about it, I felt like a barefaced fraud"
Cincinnati Enquirer.
James-'Is Miss Snowfall graduates
of VassarY' William-"She isl III
thought she was. | heard her ask ifT
the muzzle of a gun was to prevent it
going off.''-Hudson Register
Mowler-'I see some philosopher says
that the way to cure yourself OF a love-
affair Is to run away. Do you believe
it," Cynicus-"C ertainly-if you rum
away with the girl. Truth.
Now the coal dealer fears, good soul,
i AS winter draweth nigh,
Therell be scarcity of coal III
And prices will be high. 'fE+
Boston Courier.
Burglar-"Open you mout' an III
kill yer!'' Mother-"Coward! Only
for one thing I'd raise the house"
"W'at's datw I'D be certain to wake
the babyr'-C Chicago Record.
Blobbs-"Did you hear about. the duel
between De Tanque and Old Soak2
They fought with pistols" Slobbs-
s'Were they loaded?" Blobbs-"No, not
the pistols. "-Philadelphia Record.
Harry-'I cannot offer you wealth.
Marie; my brains are all the fortune
possess Marie-"Oh, Harry, If you
are as badly off as that, / am afraid
papa will never give his consent. -
Scribner's.
She Ito her fiance)-'I heard an old
lady pay you great compliment yes
terday." He-"Quite natural. What
was it?' She-"She said you must be
very bright man to attract me as
you did''-Truth.
Mr. Spinks-"Well, Willie, has your
sister made up her mind to go to the
concert with me?" Willie-"Yep. She's
made up her mind and she's maxim up
her face now. She'll be down in min
ute''-Great Divide.
Mr.. Higgins entering parlor with
Miss Nissan ON his arm)-I have just
had a taste of Paradise; I've been to
your conservatory, major. The Major
Yes | notice you got some powder on
your nose getting it.-Yonkers States
man.
We would not house the gathered
sheaves,
If fortunes lights would fash
And sweet October's golden leaves
Would pass for current cash!
Atlanta Constitution.
s'You can see for yourself that these
goods are marked down. said the sales
man, pointing to the altered price
marks. 'They appear to be all marked
up replied the customer, as he looked
at the many hieroglyphics.-Y onkers
Statesman.
Good-looking Young Girl-Will you
do something for me, Mr.. B? with
pleasure, my dear Miss A. What is
it?'' "Well, / wish you would propose
to me so that may crow over my cou.
SIM I promise won't accept you
Fliegende Blaetter.
Johnny called his mother, "quit
using that bad language" why" re-
piled the boy. Shakespeare said what
Just did" "Well," replied the moths
er, growing Infatuated, "you should quit
going with him-he's no companion for
YOU New York Herald.
How often Dame Fortune looks on us
aslant,
We think Of this life but to rue it,
With it's women who want to be voters
and can't,
And the swells who can vote and
won't do it.
Washington Star.
Mr. Slaveserf Ito his wife) Clara, I
wish you would tell Bridget not to cook,
the biscuits quite SO brown in future.
Mrs. Slaveserf Why, John, what are
You thinking of? Bridget and haven't
been on speaking terms since that
morning forgot myself and spoke has
thy to her when she broke that old
china saucer had had SO many years.
Boston Transcript