Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-03-05
ON HIS BACK.

cortcr with tho intention of making 1t a rival of THE KICKER; but, alas, he doesn't know one end of a gun from tho other and is too weak in the back for n rough and tumble fighter. Whenever ho has pub lishcd n spicy paragraph during the past six months, some one has called at the of flee and wiped the floor with him and made him feel that life was not worth tho living. He was expecting two or three callers when wo got over there, and it didn't take much cnaxing on our part to induce him to stand back and let us take n scat at his editorial table. In fact, he had gone home and gono to bed, and WIG were running things, when n big duffcr of a tcan~tcr struck the office to lick the cd itHr Tor publishing an item to tho effect that spotted horses were going out of style and had suffered drop in prices. The dufTer didn't want to argue the matter or demand a rctractiun. He was boiling over to lick somebody, and he was no suoner inside the office than Inc made dive for us. He picked up hot iron from the very start. We had him on his back and thor oughly licked in less than nvc minutes, and we had no sooner let him up than he subscribed for three copies of The Record CT and paid in advance
 We had only got our second wind when in came citizen of the town to lick Brother BabcoCk for wing there were too many saloons in the place. He didn't know one editors back from another, but when we wheeled on him and proceeded to bump and bang the breath out of his car cass such a look of amazement stole into his face that we thought he was preparing to drop dead. In the course of five hours,
 which was all the time we could spare that La four different individuals came in to make Brother Babcock get down on his marrow bones and plead for mercy and be mopped over the floor. There were four | separate and distinct surprise parties, and in each case we came out on top and se- cured cash in advance subscribers for The Recorder. We smashed two kunckles on our right hand, but the pain and annoy | ance were more than offset by seeing the | radical improvement wrought in Brother 1 BabcOck. When he came over and learned what we had done he was a new man. We put him up to trick or two in tho i manly art and before leaving had the sat- isfaction of seeing him wallop the propri- l etor of poker room who had called to S stop his paper and punch the editor s head. We believe The Recorder man has | passed the Rubicon and will be all O. K. | from this time on, but some day next 1 week we shall ride over again and give l him few boxing lessons and teach him | tho use of a revolver. We will willingly 1 do as much for any other editor within 50
 miles of us. We have always held that an
 editor should be on top, and though we
 have had to knuckle on several occasions
 our average is way ahead of the game
 1 POSTAL MATTERS. The Lone Tree Her
 aid, which, by the way, Is Q very good
 weekly newspaper for one run by a red ! headed, cruss eyed man, was pleased to
 say last week that the editor of THE I KICKER was still hankering to be post
 master of this town. We acknowledge the
 corn. The only thing we have reached out
 for and failed to get since we struck Ari'
 ZOna Is a postofiico. When we had THE
 KICKER on paying basis and had been
 elected mayor of tho town, territorial sen
 ator, president of the Publishers associa
 tion and several other things, we grabbed
 for the postoffioe. The present incumbent
 is a mean man from the ground up. HG
 is not in sympathy with any party or any
 human being except himself. If he car
 find one single man in this town who doe:
 not hate him for 6 skunk, we'll forfeit
 $500 to any charity he may name. Il
 was our firm belief that we could boos I him out in a week, but after two lonE
 years he still sticks. It is one of tho mys
 terIcs of politics. We have licked him or
 the street and shot at him through thu
 general delivery window. We have sough
 tq buy him eh, and Ua hAys sent thre'