The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-12-18
MY BANK ACCOUNT.

When go into bank, I get ratified.
The clerks rattle nae; the wickets rattle
me; the sight of the money rattles me.
The moment I cross the threshold of
bank am a hesitating jay. If attempt
to transact business there, become All
irresponsible idiot. I knew this before
band, but my salary had been raised $50
month, and felt that the bank was the
only place for it. So I shambled in and
looked timidly around at the clerks.
had an idea that a person about to open
an account must need consult the man
ager. 1 went to a wicket marked "Ac-
countant." The accountant was tall,
cool devil. The very sight of him ratified
me. My voice was sepulchral.
"Can I see the manager" said and
added solemnly, "aloneP" I don't know
why 1 said 'alone."
Certainly said the accountant and
fetched him. The manager was a grave,
calm man. I held my $50 olutched in q
crumpled ball in my pocket.
care you the manager?' l said. God
knows I didn't doubt it. "Yes,' he said.
"Can see you,'' asked, ''aIone?'' L
didn't want to say ''alone" again, but
without it the thing seemed self evident.
The manager looked at me in some alarm.
He felt that 1 had an awful secret to re-
veal.
Come In here he said and led the
way to a private room. He turned the key
in the lock.
1--WE are safe from interruption here"
he said. ''Sit down" We both sat down
and looked at one another. found no
voice to speak.
"You are one of Pinkerton's men, pre-
sume?' he said. He had gathered from
my mysterious manner that was de-
tective. I knew what he was thinking,
and it made me worse.
mo- not from Pinkerton's," 1 said,
seeming to imply that 1 came from q rival
agency. ITO tell the truth" went on
as if had been prompted to lie about it,
I'm not detective at all. I've come to
open an account. 1 intend to keep all my
money in this bank" The manager
looked relieved, but still serious. He con-
cluded now that L was son of Baron
RothschiId or a young Gould.
"A large account, L suppose?'' he said.
Fairly large" WHISPERED. 81 propose
to deposit $50 now and 500 month regu-
larly." The manager got up and opened
tho door. He called to the accountant.
''Mr. Montgomery, he said unkindly,
''this gentleman is opening an account.
He will deposit $50. Good morning." /
side of the room.
GOOD morningl'' I said and stepped
into the safe.
Come out,'' said the manager coldly
and showed me the other way. I went up
to tho accountants wicket and poked the
ball of money at him with a quick, con-
elusive movement, as if I were doing a
conjuring trick. My face was CHASTITY
pale.
GtIro,o ,, 7 eo;5 t.7o1o~i+ - Tho 4Ono
of the words seemed to mean. LET US do
this painful thing while the fit is on US. 1"
He took the money and gave it to another
clerk. He made me write the sum on a
slip of paper and sign my name in the
book. 1 no longer knew what 1 was do
ing. The bank swan before my eyes.
rs it deposited?'' asked in a hollow,
vibrating voice.
1T is, - said the accountant.
"Then want to draw check
My idea was to draw out $6 of it for
book through wicket, and some one
else began telling me how to write it out.
The people in the bank had the impression
that was an invalid millionaire. wrote
something on the check and thrust it in
at the clerk. He looked at it.
What, are you drawing it all out
again?" he asked in surprise. Then re-
allied that l had written $50 instead OF
Sc. was too far gone to reason now. 1
had feeling that it was impossible to ex-
plain the thing All the clerks had stop
ped writing to look at me- Reckless with
misery, made plunge.
eyes; the whole thing"
"You withdraw your money from the
bank?'
EVERY cent of it!''
care you not going to deposit any
more?' asked the clerk, astonished.
"NeYer!" An idiotic hope struck me
that they might think something had in
suited me while was writing the check,
and that had changed my mind. I made
wretched attempt to look like a man
with a fearfully quick temper. The clerk
prepared to pay the money.
GLOW will you have itf'
''What?''
Chow will you have it?''
"Oh!" I caught his meaning and an
swered, without even trying to think, "In
hfties." He gave me a $50 bill.
land the sop he asked dryly.
elm sixes,'' said. He gave 1t to mo
and rushed out. AS the big doors swung
behind me 1 caught the echo of roar OF
laughter thst went up to the ceiling Of
the bank. Since then bank no more.
keep my money in cash in my trousers
pocket and my savings in silver dollars in
sock.-Bookkeepe