The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1895-02-12
PITH AND POINT.


How to make little money go
long ways Drop nickel in the mis-
sionary box.
It's the sensible girl who in hunt
for man keeps her powder dry .-Ad-
ans Freeman.
The man who has habit of getting
loaded should not blame his employer
if he fires him. Hartford Journal
Since it takes trouble to perfect
character, every one should marry as
early as possible. -Atchison Globe.
Tell us, we winged winds
That travel land and sen.
Is there q spot where no one sings
Or whistles st M-e2"
Chicago Inter Ocean
eyes, it's n hard world" sighed
the balloonist, as he struck the fair
grounds with a sickening thud. Yale
Record.
Europe is still making war on tho
American hog. The only place the
poor thing is safe is in the street cars.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
McSwatters 81 hear that Skiply
is going to settle in New York;"
tied here first. "-Syracuse Post.
We know 1t all at twenty;
At fifty, we confess
We have unlearned a little,
Moro or less.
Washington Star.
"Woman will be famed rs we'll as
mani" she calculated as she threw
down the book. eyes" responded
old Cynicus, "for untold ages. -
Boston Commonwealth.
"There is trouble in store for Long
we'd" Trouble in store?" eyes, or
in several of them. His wife gave
him sample of dress goods to match
to-day. Buffalo Courier.
Mrs. Quiggs-"Your husband re-
minds me of somebody" Mrs. Neigh
bors-"He reminds me of his mother
every time the cooking doesn't suit
him. "-Philadelphia Record.
Colonel Shackers- There's one
waiter in your hotel never saw take
q tip" Landlord-"Indeed Which
one was it2" Colonel S.-"The dumb
waiter. Toronto Advocate.
There's Bigger now; would you
call him a patient man?" "All de-
Ponds" "On what?" whether
he's fshin' or wnitin' for his supper"
Burlington iowa Gazette.
"Denr old uncle is shedding tears
over the selection from Wagner"
Eyes; he says it takes him right back
to the days when he worked in a boil.
er factory. - Chicago Inter-Ocean.
The maid was all the world to me
Ere 1 my love made known
But then found she seemed 10 be
Just like the frigid zone.
Puck.
Chow dare you kiss me, sir?" "I'm
awfully sorry, but-did you not en-
courage me?" "And pray, sir, how
did encourage your" "WeIl-you
took off your glasses boston Bea-
con.
Passenger lin rowboat during n sud-
den squalD ooh, we shall sink I"
Boatman-"I can swim" Passenger
But 1 can't" Boatman-''Never
mind, I'll teach you. "--Fliegende-
Blaetter.
Van Masters-'1 understand Hobbs
has been formally expelled from the
Artists Society" Peyster-" Eyes;
he fell asleep in the BARRIERS chair and
the barber cut of his vandyke beard"
Chicago Record.
Laura (old maid, to her neighbor at
dinner) You eat very little, Mr..
Jenkins Jenkins (Aattered, and
wishing 10 return compliment)-
"Ab, Miss Laura, to sit by you takes
ones appetite away. Truth.
should aulj acquaintance ba lorgotY
Thus Scoilgnd's Bobby spoke;
An we reply that he should not
Unless hc has gone broke.
-In1innapolis Journal.
Henry -"Whnt pleasure il IL 10
hear Jabwock talk French :" Charles
"a pleasure! He never comes
within a mile of the proper pronuncia-
ton" Henry That's just it. IT'S
80 English, you know Boston
Transcript.
The boat had pulled away from the
shore some fifteen OF eighteen feet
when Ole Olson reached the bank in
great anxiety 60 get aboard. His
friend, ficls Nelson, stood on decks and
waved his arms frantically, bowling in
the meantime "Yump, Ole, yump,
aye think We can max Get in a couple
Of yumps. Clay Center (Kan.l
Times.