The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-03-16
THE o,RE1L-TwAIN QUARREL.

For fear you do not know what Mark
Twain said about Bourget, writes Mary
Abbott in the Chicago Times-Herald.
will tell YOU. Bourget said: :! suppose
| life can never get entirely dull for an
American, because whenever he can't
strike up any other way to put III his
time, he can always get away with few
years trying to find who is his grand
father was"
Mark Twain replies-and I think every
one will agree that the recrimination rs
ST reckon the Frenchman's got his ut
tie standby for a dull day, too; because,
when all other interests fail, he can turn
in and see if he can't find out who ms
father was" Most of US. I fancy, could
be witty in repartee if we allowed our
zeal for it to outrun our decency. MOST
of us would not. care to try.
To be serious for moment-a feat diff
hcult of accomplishment in this connec-
tion-Paul Bourgeois sally was deserved
spitefui and insulting, whether it was
deserved or not. There is the difference
between a whip which stings and poi,
son which corrodes; between playful
la4shing and a dash of vitrlol in the face.
Max O'Rell claims. and justly, that
Bourgeois sally was a bit of good-humor-
ed chatting on American snobbery. (His
allowance for it,; and that Mark Twain s
is a gratuitouS charge of immortality
hurled at F'renchwomen; and / am not
prepared to say that Max O'ReH is
wrong. But he himself proceeds to make
himself a worthy emulator of his enemy
by hurting anything in his way at Amer
leans; statistics OF LEGITIMACY. and facts
he "hates to state" but manages to men
ton with cruel distinctness, nevertheless,
derogatory to our domestic honor: The
conflict becomes a slapping match. and
an undignified and foolish sport, in which
neither party deserves sympathy. Bour-
get, by the by, is well out of this.
I believe the two intellectual giants are
going to fight a duel now, about their re-
spective national immoralities. I don't
know how the French feel about Bourget
as a champion. l must say, as an Am
erican. do not feel like appointing Sam
uel Clemens guardian of my respectable
ity, or my moralsl He is too rough.
Mark Twain is not learned man; ev-
erybody knows that. He started as
shrewd. amusing, knock-about kind of
Yankee, seeing life through these queer
glasses that distort you. or in. the bowls
of silve spoons. Very funny he is, very
shrewd and a humorous gift of express
ing his experiences makes his books
when he confines himself to Impressions,
extremely amusing. When he ventures
into the paths of sobriety-discourses So
berly of things, l mean-he is distinctly
dull dog. His moralizings are dreary and
unoriginal; his character studies about
as subtle as Mother Goose.
So. Max O'Rell has very decided adj
vantage when he discourses-I wonder
why he thought it worth while!-on
Mark Twain's capacity for judging ma
Mark Twain says: 81 wish Paul Bour-
get had read more of our books before
ne came 1t is the only way TO tn4 }o9,ng
Terre.' :"
Now. is there anything like a profess
sional humorist-one who makes fun of
other people for a living-for setting him
self up as a target of the most grotesque
appearance and easy of aim? OF course.
May O'Rell xrhn him self ifIc
ridiculous when his turn comes-for he is
humorist, too-'jumps on" his foe at
once:
Fancy my saying" he exclaims,
when I found I was coming to Ameri-
ca, read W. T. Stead's If Christ Came
to Chicago" And then he cannot re
of fiction; the other is based on facts
and is written by man who may be
called faddist, but whose sincerity and
honesty nobody doubts
The dome bouche of the whole meal is.
however. this delicious bit of humorous
literature:
81 could give Mark Twain an example
of the American specimen of snobbery
1t is a piquant story. / never published
it because feared my readers might think
that was giving them typical illustra-
ton of American character instead of
rare exception:
81 was once booked by my manager to
give a causerie in the drawing-room of a
New York millionaire. / accepted with
reluctance. do not like private engage
ments. At o'clock On the day the caus-
erie was to be given. the lady sent note
to my manager to say that she would
expect me to arrive at o'clock and then
to speak for about an hour. Then she
wrote a postscript Many women are I'M
fortunate there. Their minds are full of
afterthoughts, and the most important
part of their letters is generally to be
found after their signature. This laGy's
p s. ran thus: T suppose he will not
expect to be entertained after the lee
ture.
ST fairly shouted. as Mark Twain would
say. and then. indulging myself in a bit
of snobbisfness. was back at her as a
flash
Dear Madam-As a literary man of
some reputation,sI have many times had