Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1895-10-12

Ing out with dog under his arm. The
gentleman asked: where is that dog
goingT The expressman sayagely re-
piled: You don't know where he's
going; don't know where he's going;
nobody knows where he's going-he's
ate his tag!'
He was barber and he was enter
prising. He had noticed that the bust
ness of his neighbor, a shoemaker, had
largely increased since the latter had |
put certain sign in his window. He
therefore thought II advisable to adapt |
the notice TO his own line of BUSINESS,
and presently he came out with big |
card on which was inscribed:
Shaving while you wait"
William NJ Evarts was going up |
once in the elevator of the state de- |
partment when 1t happened to be
loaded with an unusual number IL
strangers, presumably applicants for
ministerships and consulships. Turn
ing TO friend who accompanied him,
Eyarts said: This is the largest col
lection for foreign missions that !
have seen taken up for some timer
Apropos OF boosters, Dean Hole tells
a story of an acquaintance of his at
1 bAIOIu. WHO MfuIt MIN II DOte
beginning My Dear Countess" and
| then scratched out Countess substi-
| tuting Hole" whereupon the dean,
not TO be outdone, began his reply MY
| Dear Queen" and then drew his pen
/ through queen and substituted
/ Dick
youth 10 fortune and TO fame un-
known sent Dumas the manuscript of
a new play, asking the great dramatist
TO become his collaborateur. Dumas
was for a moment petrified, then he
| seized his pen. and replied: How
dare you, sir. propose to yoke together
horse and an ASST The author, by
return of post. wrote: How dare you,
sir, call me horsey" Dumas by next
mail: '.Send me your play, my friendr-
A gentleman in Washington who has
for years made a practice OF gathering
personal anecdotes of veterans of the
war, both of the Northern and South
ern services. once asked friend, who
had fought all through the war. if he
had ever killed man that he posi-
lively knew of. Yes said he, re
morsefully. lone. AT Bull Run / ran
al the first fire. A rebel chased me for
ten miles, and was then so exhausted
tia; he dropped dead"
4 young reporter was sent out re-
Gently by the city editor of one of the
Rochester papers TO report meeting
About two hours after the assignment
was made the young reporter returned
" In a sad countenance. The city edi-
tor asked him to get the report up i'm
nediately, as IL was nearly time TO go
10 press. There will net be any re-
l nF. h.
swer. "Why notT' queried the city
editor. There was not any meeting"
replied the young reporter; sit broke
up in big row, and the chairman
was chucked under the table"
A New York undertaken or funeral
director. as the reader may prefer, ad-
vertised for a driver for hearse, and
among the applicants he secured a
good-looking. strong fellow, with a
solemn countenance, and took him into
his private office.
Before employing you" said the
undertaken, II want to know IL you
have lad any experience in this bust
ueSsE'
Wet. ! navc- drove hearse." ad-
mstted tia applicant. but I've drove
. the neNt th;nS TO it, and ! guess can
, give yeu satisfaction"
| ttffW Ga YOU mean /. L ubu unuer-
stard." and il was evident from the
| epdertaker's puzzled look that he was
. | speaking the truth.
, why" said the applicant. with con-
iidence, Il drove rapid delivery
wagon In Philadelphia for seven
years"
lie got the job.
Jerome X. jerome tells in his paper,
y To-day, of giving little dinner once
n and discussing the matter of wine
4 with the head waiter before the guests
. arrived. WELL" said the waited, IF
il you take my advice. you will give
r them a very good champagne to start
r with. let's say Mousseux Sec 1878, and
4 let that go round twice. After that
|, sir--well-here's a very good wine that
Il I always recommend, at 3 shillings the
q bottle: and then. IL / were you, sir,
$ would finish up with this" and he
g pointed to n modest little brand al
t, three and six. And don't you think, y
\ Jerome said, "that they will notice the
i said the man; 1--WE generally do that
[ way. l wouldn't undertake to tell the
o difference myself between champagne
: ut sixteen shillings and champagne al
4 i've after the first two glasses"
II Once upon n time the Clever Cir
o and Young Apropos found themselves
= ut very stupid evening party. After
o several minutes of boredom the Clever
!. Girl grew desperate. II tell you wha,
d let's do" she said; "you take one side
4 of the room and I'll take the other
" and Wen each see how many persons
" we can engage In conversation upon q
Q certain topic without in any way APP
o pearing to drag i'm the topic" "Al
. right" said Young Apropos; but what
4 shall the topic beT' "Cockroaches,
n said the Clever Girl. Straightway they
m separated. and, she going on one side
# of the room and he on the other, they
!. talked to as many persons as possible
= upon cockroaches, Just before leave
% taking time they met, and both agreed
that never had they had a more de