The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1895-02-23

He tore the glove on with rather q
very good, moral man when things did
not 60 crosswise.
Jupiter. Almira! why, this dress
he, after pulling away on it for a
space of five minutes.
st is plenty large, only the day is
so hot; everybody seems to swell up
somehow hot days. Try agin, Rufus,
and I'll draw in all I can.
Rufus did try, ard being a tolerably
strong man, he succeeded in fastening
the button. No sooner done than off
burst the button! A second button
shared the same fate. After that it
was easier. The dress was fastened,
and Mrs. Brown pinned over the but
tonless parts, and hid them with O
bow of ribbon. 1t was such a pro-
violence that so many bows were worn
nowadays.
Brown surveyed her in amazement.
my DEAR" said he, "you look like
a wasp in consumption. But. come,
that is the last bell," and he hurried
her away lest they should be late.
The dress was pinching her fearfully,
and she could with difficulty draw her
breath; but she knew it looked "gen-
teel," and Mrs. Jones was just behind
her, SO she was happy.
At the church door somebody STEP
ped on her trail-for the dress trailed
q little-and there was an ominous
sound Of something ripping. What
woman does not know and shudder at
that sound? But Brown would not
stop for investigation, and poor Mrs.
Brown went into the church in a cold
tremor Of apprehension.
She could not find her place in the
prayer book, and she made the wrong
responses, and Brown kept nudging
her and making matters worse.
And then, when, they ros in pray
ertime, old Mrs. Kenny, shook out her
handkerchief which was scented with
musk, and musk invariably made Mrs.
Brown sneeze. She felt the catastro-
phe impending, and tried her best to
avoid it, but her efforts were in vain.
She sneezed, and the strain was too
much.
The fine thread with which the
seams We're sewed gave away with a
loud splitting report, and poor Mrs.
Brown fell down in her seat on the
point Of swooning, and drew the film
sy sack she wore closer around her.
Everybody looked at her she was 80
pale, and Brown asked her if she felt
q spell of the tic doloreaux coming on
again.
Aud then the miserable wOma sat
through that interminable sermon, ex-
pecting every moment that the dress
would give entirely away. and melt
of from her-afraid to breathe, afraid
to stir, and devoutly wishing she
could creep into a knot-hole ome
where. But knOt-hOles are never ly-
ing round loose On such occasions.
At last the services were over, and
| poor Mrs. Brown took her husbands
arm for support. And Mrs. Jones
came up behind her and Whispered in
her r
my dear Almira, your dress is all
burst out behind. And somebody has
stepped on the skirt and torn it.
Those cheap cashmeres do tear SO east
ly. Draw your sack back a little,
dear, and if you walk carefully no.
body will see it unless the wind blows.
I am so sorry"
Mrs. Brown had to hear this, and
had to realize, too, that 1t would not be
just the thing to knock Mrs. Jones
down, as she would like to have done.
Halfway home MI. Brown stepped
on a piece of orange peel and slipped.
In recovering himself he caught at his
wife's dress. The act was fatal.
The whole thing gave away and
about twenty yards Of rufling and
f1uting lay auttering along the side
walk.
Somebody's puppy, followed after,
in a playful mood seized on the ruff
fling, and in spite of Mr.. Browns Wig
orous assault with his cane, he made
off with it.
And that odious Mrs. Jones was only
a little way behind, and saw it all.
Mr.. Brown did not say a word to his
wife by way of preaching to her on
her lack Of judgment-which proves
that he was that Il r thing, a mascu-
line angel-but Mrs. Brown took the
lesson she had received to heart, and
bought no more cheap dresses, and
hired no more cheap dressmakers.
As Mr.. Jones failed in about a month
after her unfortunate dress collapsed,
Mrs. Brown managed to live through
her troubles, and now she has the priv
ilege of informing Mrs. Jones that
cheap things don't pay. She wonders
how anybody can buy them. And Mrs.
Jones CRATES her teeth, in silent rage,
and wishes she had never been born.
p. S.-Women will understand this
sketch. 1t is not expected that men
will coo iofr. r. Of oil