The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-04-30
The Overproduction Fad--A FinaI cial
Investigation--Jim Pew's
Views Thereon.

gOln' ter try IL again an pun 10y
in Grover. I reckon he'll quit turnln'
the screw ON us one of these days. I'm
fer him fer Preserdent next year"
R.-"Some of your friends hope Mrs.
Bilkins will succeed in converting you
before the next election"
B.-''Shux! She can't convert any
body. She calls me a goldbug dyma-
KRAFT, an I call her a silverbug PoPla-
crat. She has got me awl mixed up
on it. But you never know what's
goin' ter happen when Betsy sots her
head. l wanIer have a chat with sum
ov the leadin' Cleveland goldbugs an
git sum lite on the subject. Hitch the
phone ter the editur ov the NetCS and
Observer"
R.-"An right; go ahead"
B.-"Hello HelloII Mr.. Daniels.
Cum ter the phone rite quick"
(Voice)-"An right, Mr.. Bilkins.
What can 1 do for you2"
B.-"Who IL that's"
Woice) Whitaker"
B.-'Ten Mr.. Daniels 1 want ter see
him an hev q little chat on the fnan
shul question"
Silence) Bell rings-''Mr. Daniels
says he is very busy writing an edi
torial on the Monroe Doctrine and
regrets that he can't give you the de-
sired information today. Goodbye"
B.-"Hellol Mr.. Editor. Hitch the
phone ter the Sharlit Observer. Hello!
HeIlo!"
Voice. who is that?'
"Zeke Bilkins, ov the county ov
Wake, State ov North Carolina. Who
are youG"
~"Banks, telegraph editor"
"Mr. Banks, please tell Mr.. Caldwell
Iwanter see him an hev a little talk
on the financial question. I'm awl
mixed up on it an l wanter know whar
he stands"
Silence) Woice)-"Mr. Caldwell is
writing an editorial on How to Drink
aQuart a Day and Still be a Sober
Man, also an argument showing how
"a defaulter and embezzler" can be the
most popular man outside of the pen.
He regrets very much that his engage.
ments will not permit him to give you
an hour or two of his time. Good
bye"
B.-"HitCh me ter Chairman Pew
1guess he has some ideas on the sub
iect. Hellol Mr.. Pew. Zeke Bilkini
IL my name. I'm a married man
harassed by a Populist wife an bese
on aw1 sides with populistic devils.
wanter know whut ter think on tn,
fnanshul question, Dr. whether it il
safe ter think at all"
Mr., Pr am very busy to-day, ant
will ask you to excuse me, if yol
please. Doubtless the financial ques
ton will a. adjust itself in a transmigra
tory way converging toward TIT
duplex at stated intervals, throwing the
diapragm out of a concillatory emer
gency, oscillating backward and for
wards, both horizontal and stipend
ously perpendicular, at all times. Al
the proper time the emasculation will
b superbly transparent and inter
national commissions will circum,
staniate the allegations of histroniC
statesmen. The transformation, fig,
uratively illustrated and weighed in
posthumous consanginuity will elabor
ate all physicaland technical potential
ties through antedeluvian spectacular
and pathegorical as we'll as extraneoui
and contemporaneous ambiguity. NJ
sane man will doubt this and wheneve,
this occurs eighty five times consecu
lively money will be so sound that yo1
can hear a dollar, fall a few feet,
distance of thirty geographical miles
Now, my dear Mr.. Bilkins, I hav
given you, as near as l can remember
the exact words of u die aator an
master, President Cleveland, latel
uttered in a public letter. If you are
good Democrat, you will know that
is the only living authority on tt
money question, Goodbye"
B.-"Goshl Chairman Pew IL tt
only Teller whut would talk, and !
throwed whole d~ickshunary n seve
teen wurks on astronomy at me. If
could talk like Jim Pew I would 80,