The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-08-30
MR.. AND MRS. BOWSER.
Bowser Brings Home Something
We All Need.
AND SHOWS IN HIS USUAL ELOQUENT

no husband is. He simply brings
home patent disinfectants, cough cures,
liver invigorators, new tangled fire es-
capes, consumption remedies, burglar
alarms, fly killers, dandruf eradicators,
smoke hampers, canning strip and mad
dog dodgers from a sense Of duty to
himself and family. He also believes in
the efficacy of each and every one from
another sense of duty. When he came
home the other evening. Mrs. Bowser
knew by the important and triumphant
look on his face that something was up,
and when he carefully deposited a parcel
on the table she somewhat acidly de-
manded:
''Have you been buying some more
stuff to be thrown out of the Window"
"Mrs. Bowser," he answered, chow
many doctors and drug stores are there
i'll this country?''
81 don't know.
s'Of course you don't It isn't your
business to know. do know, however,
and I'll tell you that there are over
2,900, 600 dOctOrs-oDe to about every
80 of our population. Just think of that
There are also nearly $1,000, 900 drug
stores, each one supported by about 40
such people as you are. +"
"Well?" she asked.
"Well, it must follow that there is
mighty little sense among average peo-
pie to run to q doctor every time any
thing gets out of killer. Think of the
money thrown away -
'But nothing ever ais any of US but
headache, " she protested.
"No; of course not. But why not?
Simply because I'm a prudent and far
seeing man. lock the stable before the
horse is stolen. In other words, during
the years we have been married I have
saved Us from at least so fits of sickness,
each one of which would have cost at
least $50 in cash. 30
'Well, have you been getting any
thing today?'' she asked. eff so, you
might as we'll throw it out of the win
dow, for we don't need it. "
"Don't need it, Mrs. Bowser-dcn't
need itl'' be echoed as he stood up and
waved paper package aloft. "But we
do need it-all of us need it-need it
bad. Do you know what season of the
year this is:''
''Of course. It's summer. -
"Well, what takes place in the sum-
mer?''
Various things.
eyes, and one of them is a sort of
collapse of the physical system. We lose
flesh We are spleeny. We are bilious
and subject to chills. We are in just
that state to invite fever to seize upon
US, and in nine cases out of ten it would
be fatal Is it prudence to tone up the
system or to have a funeral in the
house?''
"What have you there?" she asked,
avoiding a direct answer to his question.
''Roots, Mrs. Bowser-roots! Nature
furnishes man all the medicines needed
when it causes roots to grow in the
same soil he treads. Here is burdOck,
sassafras, sarsaparilla, sweetbud, black
berry and two or three other kinds, each
a specific in itself. all combined, a sure
panacea for nearly all the ills human
flesh is heir to. -
''And You are going to eat them-all
of US must eat them?" she anxiously
asked.
''Wait and see!' he replied, with a
pomposity that quite settled her, and in
due time she saw.
"A
session of the kitchen to make his root
tonics. He put the roots in the teaket-
tie, started good fire, and at intervals
of every five minutes he walked out to
cool his face and say to Mrs. Bowser:
doctors Drug stores Faugh In. a
week from now you won't know your
self -
After a couple of hours Mr.. Bowser
poured off two quarts of dark liquid
which gave out an odor similar to that
of a ripe cucumber flung again the
smokehouse door in August. Being
alone in the kitchen at the time, he OF
course took down the roller towel to
strain it through. He then added to the
liquid half pint of whisky, half an
ounce of cloves, a nutmeg and half 9
pound of sugar, and put the whole in al
old fruit jar.
'There-that's off my mind - he saic
as he returned to the sitting room. 'fThe
dose, Mrs. Bowser, will be one table
spoonful three times day for you anc
half that for the baby
} elf we need it. "
eff you need it? Do you suppose I't
go to all this trouble if we didn't neeC
, it? saw the signs Of collapse in you
eyes ten days ago, and I may not be il
time to save our child. The ignoranc'
and obstinacy of some women is amaz
ing!"
She was interested in book and diC
not care to pursue the argument further
and nothing more was said about tn
. tonic until bedtime Then he went t.
: the pantry and took a hearty pull at it
and as he came out wiping off his Chi
he said:
"You can begin tomorrow morning
! | Lands But that is a tonic really fee
a year younger for that one doser'
] ''Then you won't need to buy an
! other stuff this summer?'
''Stuff Stuff That's you, Mrs. Bow
! ser! If you can t have your way abou