The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-07-11

MMnAM WM
Is described in the Frisco Post: what
can / do for you. miss?" inquired the clerk
In Market street drug store Of a blushing
young woman. She glanced about her in
embarrassment and then replied: II want
some castor oil" "All right; In just mo-
ment." The clerk moved around behind
the counter for n moment and then went
to the soda fountain. do you like soda?"
he asked. "Oh, yes, indeed" what flaw
oring do you prefer?"" Pineapple, please"
The clerk drew a glass of the fizz and the
young lady drank 1t. Then the clerk sat
down on q stool and commenced to chat
with her. She was apparently annoyed,
but replied courteously to all his remarks.
Finally she said: "If you'll give me the
castor oil III Co." "Why, you took 1t in
the glass of soda" "Took it in the soda!
I didn't want to take 1t. 1t was for my
little brother"
NEEDS GROG AND FEED:
"What the Indian needs" said the emf
nent sociologist, 'ds a rational system CT
supervision"
"That's right" replied the man who has
lived in the far west; what the Indian
needs is gettin' his rations to i'm reglar
an enough Of em."-Washington Star.
In G. A. Sala's recently published Rem
iniscences an entertaining anecdote is
told of Lady Harriet D'Orsay She was
presiding at stall at a vente de charlie,
or bazar, held In aid Of the fund of some
asylum or another when there came up
the Duke Of Orleans, son and heir Of King
Louis Philippe. The duke, after some
polite small talk, began to extol the beauty
of her hair, and, indeed, her Henrietta
Maria coiffure had never looked glossier
and softer than 1t did this day. "Oh,"
said his royal highness, 'if I could only
possess one Of those charming ringlets!'
How much would monseigneur give for
one?" asked Lady Harriet. gravely; 5000
francs?" Five thousand francs" re-
peated the duke. "a mere bagatelle."
"Six thousand francs?" Anything so
charming lady chose to ask" II will not
be extortionate." pursued Lady Harriet;
I'VE will say 5000" And then she very
composedly produced dainty little pair
of scissors, shipped Off the adorable Hem
rietta Maria ringlet, wrapped 1t in a silver
paper and handed 1t with dignity to the
duke. His royal highness looked very
straight down his nose and, returning
Lady Harriet's salute. stalked somewhat
gloomily away. But his privy purse duly
forwarded the money next day.
DR.. Burton and DR.. Gage were ministers
Of two Congregational churches and en-
cellent friends. Like many other reverend
gentlemen, they loved Joke, especially at
each others expense. DR.. Gage had trav-
eled abroad. and since his return had been
delivering a course Of lectures on old
world subjects. One Of the lectures-on
Palestine-had been thought not SO inter-
esting as the others, and on its second de-
livery many of the auditors withdrew be>
fore 1t was finished. Not long after DR..
Cages house was entered by burglar.
DR.. Gage was giving DR.. Burton an ac-
count Of the affair. why, doctor. had
him down fiat on his back; I held him
there; he couldn't move an inch"
Good" said Mr.. Burton; "but what q
splendid opportunity that was to have
delivered to him your lecture on Pales-
tine."
WHAT SHE L1KED:
Miss Lapham-Now that you are so in
fiuential. want you to help me to get
into society.
Miss Penstock-You wouldn't like II.
You are a homebody. Why. you would
be bored to death.
Miss Lapham-I know It. my dear. But
I want to have the privilege Of being bored.
Harlem Life.
RHYMES OF THE TINES:
Oh, fair ones. why Is It. we'd like to know
Tho answer is not in books.
That the newer O woman Is found to grow
The older her husband looks?
Washington Star.
He worried lest he'd lose her
When he was her gallant;
And now he worries just as much
Or more because he can't.
kansas City Journal.
IT can't quite understand" she said,
With semblance Of reproach,
''What use them college oarsmen have
On water for coach"
Philadelphia Press.
The roses that bloom In the spring ira Ia,
Have nothing to do with her case:
For hers are the roses that bloom, tra IL,
The whole year round in her face.
Detroit Free Press.
Her golden hair, her silvery voice.
All, me, who could resist?
IT'S easy quite to make my choice
I'm bimetalhst.
-Washington Star.
The poet wandered through the fields,
He thought the birds would sing to him;
The baimy air the ripping rills.
Were pleasant signs Of spring to him
Just then q cold wave came along
And didn't do q thing to him.
Io indianapolis Journal.
A soldier Of the legion
Lay dying at Algiers,
When . comrade stopped beside hin,
with platter full Of beers.
He reached out quickly forthem
And swallowed eight or nine.
Then 1T right out for Bingen-
Fair Bingsn on the Rhine.
Il 4. .a.. -5udg~