Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1895-07-20
pl1H AND POINT.

Prayers are sometimes made In
church that the devil would be willing
to take OFF his coat ana help answer
Rams Horn.
MARY, how was It saw you treat
ing your friends TO my cake and fruitp'
Mary-"I can't tell, ma'am, for the loife
of me, for I'm shurc covered the key.
hole. Chicago Tribune.
A contemporary contains IN adver.
tiscment Of dog for sale. Among the
good points Of the animal are these:
HE will cut anything, and Is very fond
of children. "-Household Words
--Guest-"I would like nice round
steak, rare done. and some fresh fried
potatoes" Waiter lin stentorian voice.
Carnage In the skillet! Fried Pin
grees on the side!"-Chicago Tribune.
His Rule.-"Yes,' said Rev. DR..
Goodman. II always endeavor to write
my sermons SO that they can be un.
derstood and appreciated by even the
dullest intellect Before delivering
them In public, invariably recite them
to myself."-N. Y. Herald.
Sure Enough man who sent
FIVE dollars last week in answer'an I'D
vertisement promising to tell how to
make one dollar go as far as five, got
his answer yesterday. II was small
red card on which wns neatly printed:
Mail both to San Francisco. "-Somer.
vile Journal.
-Wooing Time. -Weazcr-'I lost
lot Of time counting my wife" Ileazer
-..Ilow was thatY' Weazcr-''Well, !
monlseycd around about year before
| popped. and then found out could
have had her about the second week
after we got acquainted. '--Philadcl-
phia Inquirer.
"A Grateful Citizen.-Citizen Ito
country editor)-''That was very
handsome notice you gave me In this
weeks paper, Shears, and ] called in
to" Country Editor-"Er-to sub
scribe for II year," Citizen"N-no, to
see II you had nn old copy lying about
anywhere. "-Siftings.
Papa" said Jennie, climbing
upon her fathers knee. don't you
think that stead a. ten cents week
you could give me fifteen?" We'll,
don't know, my dear" was the an
swer What do YOU want OF the en-
ira five ccnts9" Il thought my dollie
was old enough to have 'lowance.
and want To give IL to her. "-Ilarper's
Round Table.
A Question Of Cosmology. little
girl In Gorhain, on first discovering the
electric lights. and seeing the moon ut
the same time. propounded this. conun-
drum: Mamma, does God know that
we got electric lights?" YES" re-
piled the mother. 'Ile must know II,
because lie knows everything" "Then,
mamma, why don't lie take in the
moon?"-Portland Press.
"A good story Is told Of two old Ia
dies, who were talking about the
churches. One said: What is the
difference between all these denomi-
nations, anyway?" why" replied
the other, 1.-THE Methodists, they go
down in the gutter and pulls them up:
tHe bupIiSts, tney WushcS tnciu' uhu
the Congregationalists they starches
them. "-Portland Express.
The Modern Idea--Mrs. Young
husband-"0h. Charlie, the cook got
angry this morning and left, bag and
baggage. What are we going to do?"
Mr.. Younghusbnnd-"Why, my love, l
thought yon attended cooking school
for seven months?" Mrs. Younghus.
band-"So did, dear, but that was
merely to learn cooking ms an accom-
plishment, Huntington Free Press.
One time on the Texas frontier a
man came into camp riding an old
mule. "Iow much for the mule?"
asked bystsnder. ".Iist hundred
dollars" answered the rider. "lll
give you Ave dollars" said the other.
The rider stopped short,as II in amaze
ment. and then slowly dismounted.
stranger" said he, II amt a-goin to
let little matter OF nincty-five dol
lars stand between me and mule
trade. The mules yourn."