The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-07-02
The Major and Mrs. Bilkins Attend the
the Teachers Assembly--Zeke Be-
lieves that Betsy Had a Cruel

ueVeS G0aC DSISy G4aO 49,
Scheme Brewing.
B.-"Hellol Mr.. Editor"
R.-"HelIo! Major. Tell me the
latest"
B.-'I want you ter tell me the --latest.
Blamed if 1 haint awi broke up myself.
I don't know anything"
R.-"What is the trouble now9
B.-.'Well, Betsy has bin BLOWN me
up erbout hard times an sich, styIn
that NV party hes made times so hard
I can't buy her a new dress nor JAKE
her Ground none: so 1 konkluded ter
give her a little surprise an sum u
stanshul proof ov returnin' prosperity
under a single standard. She hlRteedd
sumthin' erbout goin' to MQP6head So
tole her the other day we would go
ter MoreheaH city an have a guide time
an miSup with the teechers the
Qtfer fashionable folks whut are prone
ter congregate there. That tickled
Betsy right smartly, and she went
ter gittin' ready. Iexpected she would
charge me with goin' there ter Ieck-
shuneer, but she didn't. Honestly, my
sole object in goin' wuz ter create con
ferdence in the administrator, an ter
see Betsy wadin' in the surf with her
bathin' suit on. Ialso wanted to make
a reputashun as a fisherman second ter
none but President Cleveland. 1t IL
my humble opinion that the goldbugs
won't never let any more dymakrats
inter offs unless they are guide at
fshin'."
R-"Well, did you get to Morehead
in good shape and have a fine timer
B.-"You kin bet yer life on that
IL is wuth a trip ov a thousan' miles ter
see Betsy in her bathin' suit Ireckon
half ov the people in the State would
have turned out if they had only
known that we were goin' on that trip.
soon found out why Betsy wanted ter
go ter Morehead City so bad. She had
herd that a man eatiu shark was ca
vortin' Ground in Bogue SouGd. I
think she sorter hoped that 1 would be
headstrong ernuf ter try ter ketch that
shark an probably save funeral eX
penses an a lot ov trouble in the future.
But was anxious ter practis on smaller
fish, an l did it. After we got down
there I let Betsy solt3r mix up with
the old ladies an 1 mixed up with the
old stays like DR.. Skinner, Swift Gal
loway, Prof. benson, eugene Harrell,
Prof. Hobgood an sum more like 'em,
an I Wanter say rite here that the man
who catches more fish than me an
Swift Galloway must carry a half
a dozen ov the best rabbit feet.
They wuz 81 many purity gurls down
there that Betsy had ter keep both
peeled I sorter kept an eye on
her, too. But you jest orter bin erlong
when we went inter the surf. Betsy's
bathin' suit looked large enuf ter hold
q bale ov cotton, but it wuz erbout two
sizes too small when it got wet. Betsy
wanted ter back out after she got in
the water a little way, but I wouldn't
hear to that. She said she was erfraid
folks would make remarks erbout her.
I tole her ter let 'em remark jest as
much as they wanted to, for 1 knew
that they would have ter put in a guide
deal ov time if they made as many re
marks erbout her as she has made
erbout other folks. Erbout this time q
stunnin', big wave cum a sweepin'
erlong an l turned Betsy loose. You
jest Orter a seed Betsy git knocked
erbout an strangled. The waves Jest
played football with her fer erbout
twenty minnits. It reminded me ov
the way we sound money dymakrats
are tossin' the free coinage fellers
Ground in the party. But the waves
soon got tired. Betsy can make even
the Atlantic ocean tired. GUIDE b7e >
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