The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-10-20
STEPHEN MERELY LIED.
HE ATTEMPTED TO WORK sYNIPA-
THY UPON THE COURT.
Said His Mother Was Dead and Got
Woods Pleads Not Guilty to stab
bling skid' Sandford-Other Cases
in Police Court Yesterday.

Stephen Jackson is the title enjoyed
by a member of the Sixteenth United
States infantry, who was before Justice
Smith at the opening of the session of
police court yesterday morning.
Stephen was charged with being drunk
and a person didn't need to be mind
reader to discern that the soft i'm
parchment was proper one and that
Stephen had been on a high lonesome.
Questioned by the court as to his
guilt or innocence, the accused man
fully asserted that he had been indulg
ing in the cup that cheers together
with a bevy of companions, but urged
as a mitigating circumstance that he
was endeavoring to drown his sorrows.
II was born in New Jersey, and one
morning last summer received a dis
patch that my mother was dead" he
began in the words of a, nonsensical
song which is very popular on the
Hoboken fats, but he checked himself
on noting by the puzzled look on the
face Of the court that he had never
been east and was innocent of the
ways of the inhabitants
you see judge, it was like this. I
received telegram that my mother
was dead and when I came down town
thought to drown the grief the
shock impaired by taking a few drinks.
Before knew it ] was very full and
if you will let me go this time I will
never appear here again
$50 your mother is dead" murmured
the court. Poor man, poor man. And
under those circumstances you thought
1t wise to get as full as a goat in order
that your last reeollections Of her
safntcd face might be smothered as it
were. In order that the fountains Of
your grief might be"
yes, sir" broke in the culprit.
that's just 'ow 1T 'appened."
Have you a copy of the telegram
softly inquired the clerk.
mo sir, lost it along with my watch
and my money and several other mat
tiers of value. I wish I had it sir,
would let you read it and then I would
never come here again, no sir, [ would
not, indeed I would not
His honor had been writing while the
clerk was eliciting this sad state of
facts, and having finished, he came
down from the platform which is by
courtesy called the judicial tripod, al
though there is nothing three cornered
about it, and presenting an order on
the Western Union Telegraph manager
to allow him, the said justice, to read
the telegram referred to, asked the
descendant of the immortal Hickory to
sign it.
Taking up the pen and dipping 1T
into the ink Jackson looked at the
paper for a minute and then. heaving
a, sigh which would weigh a pound
laid the weapon, which in the hands of
men entirely great knocks an army
sabre into a new officers regulation
hat, replied sadly:
"I guess [ will not sign it Judge, I
lied when I said my mother was dead y
Outraged justice vindicated herself
right there and then and when Stephen
was led away to the grey back foundry
it was a ten-day eaItch-as-catch-ca
bout with the many legged inmates Of
the institution.
J. NJ. Woods, the hack driver who at
tempted to carve Ted Sandford's
mortal frame into pie material, was ar
rested yesterday morning and brought
into court. J. NJ. pleaded not guilty.
His case was then set for the 22d, when
he viii explain why he allowed his
thirst for gore to get the better of him.
Arthur Knight was convicted of do
ing plumbing work contrary to the
peace and dignity Of the city and
against the ordinance in such case
made and provided, but sentence was
suspended.
A venerable old party who was too
drunk to give any name was fined $40
and led away weeping because he had
no silver in his pocket with which to
liquidate. Court then took recess I'm
til Monday in harvesting golden and
red autumn leaves for a winter scrap
book. 81