Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1895-11-14

<fT7zrFs.' III IuIC may 4Oc IN
HI dulged, but to get
as the truth of the matter might be
somewhat dificalt. And we should
not probably recognize the truth when
VS. found it. A baby of the genuine.
orthodox style-hairless, eolorless and
shspeiess as to body, with a head round
as a bullet, a forehead as puckered
and wrinkled as his grandmother's and
two little blinking eyes, set far back in
mass of putty colored layers of fat
spectacle to contemplate. though we
are well aware that every worshiping
mother of baby will hate us most
devoutly in consequence of our opinion
A big apple dumping, with two buckle
berries judiclously set therein, might
sit for almost any small baby's photo
graph with good hope of success.
The baby's sole idea, if one may be
allowed to judge from his actions, is
how best to get both his fists into his
the problem how he can best turn his
heels over his head without getting off
his back to accomplish the feat. And
when he finds he cannot do either of
these things to his satisfaction, he gets
mad and cries, and the loving mother
is terrified for fear cholera infantum is
coming on, and she gives him a dose of
soothing syrup and sends for the doc
tor.
No doubt baby has some notions of
his own, if he were only given the fac
uity of speech to express them. The
world, to him, smells of flannel and
sour milk. We wonder if his very
soul does not breathe Castorial And
if be would rot like to rid the universe
of that vile abombination which has so
many times been employed to ransack
his infantile stomach and bowels and
which is designated by the label-castor
oil?
Does he like being caught suddenly
turned upside down, and downside up,
in the reckless way people have of
handling babies? Does he relish snappy
kisses from fond old aunts and uncles
who eat onions to kill the taint of
whisky and tobacco, or vice versa, we
do not know which,
What does he think when pin point
sticks IN him and he yells with agony,
and his mother takes him on her knee
and trots him and says she is afraid
1.-THE precious little thing is going to
have that dreadful, nasty collie againY"
! And then comes the Castoria bottle.
| Is it happiness for the baby to be
swathed in flannel, and smothered in
pillows in a room where the mercury
is much higher than it has any legiti-
mate right to be on the Fourth. of JulyP
Does he like to have his feet produced
from their wrappiBgs and shown to ad-
miring visitors as the ,'prittiest little
footsies- -tootsies' in the world9 Does
he like to have his toes felt and
squeezed2 Does he like to have his
bach patted? Does he like to have
fingers thrust in his mouth to make
him show his new teeth2
Don't you suppose he wishes the man
that invented soothing syrup could be
hung? Don't you suppose he wishes
there had never been such a thing as
Ridges Food or Ridge either?
Why does he like to pull hair? Why
does he contemplate his toes by the
hour, and break into spasms of shriek-
ing if anyone crosses the fascinating
objects9
How does he like his mother to cburn
him up and down on her knee after he
is fed, and then put him in the cradle
and rock him till his wretched little
head bonnces from side to side and the
world turns round before his dizzy
vision, and weary with trying to keep
pace with it he, he falls asleep al isstY
We were all babies ourself once, but
we are none the wiser for it, and it
seems likely that time will go on and
none of us win know just what baby
thinks.
Perhaps it is damn itl''