The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1895-01-23
a HUMAN AERoLIrE.
It Was Travelling by Rail and ConcIHds
TO Take q slower Train.

I = 4
Al brakeman Of the Consolidated rail-
road was idling about. the pretty vii
lage station of the road at Mantle, a
few days ago, waiting for his own
train to come 10 take him aboard.
While he was there passenger express
came flying past with rush and roar.
1t came, says local exchange, and
was gone in an instant in whirlwind
Of dust and cinders. But even as 1t was
crashing past the little building, out Of
the confused, comet-like tail of steam
and smoke and dust, the brakeman be.
held big, round, white ball suddenly
quit one Of the vestibuled platforms Of
the flying cars and bstalSe itself into
the air, like splinter Of shattered
meteorite.
II was singular-loolring projectile,
revolving like turbine water wheel,
all a-flutter with light drapery, and
seemingly stuck full Of clawing legs
and feelers like hitherto unheard Of
and unclassified terrestrial devil-fsh.
1t described parabola, and the aston.
ished railroad man had just time to
dodge when 1t flew past him and went
upon the ground. Imam instant 1t wasup
again, went bounding along the earth
a rod or more, struck again, tied itself
In a knot, uncoiled, Strengthened itself
on its back and then was still mo-
ment. Presently it sat mp and gazed
mistily at the brakeman. 1t was a
man, commercial traveller.
II had the remains Of gripsack in
one hand, the ripped-up wreck of a
huge paper bundle in the other, and
was weirdly draped with the tattered
ribbons and strings Of what was once,
evidently, very long and handsome
white buster. The rimless crown Vi
black derby hat was jammed down ovci
Its ears. Sitting there ON the hard turf,
It gazcd at the brakeman solemnly for
a whole half minute, and the brake.
man gazed, too, at the dazed phenom.
enon, and neither spoke. Finally the
phenomenon lazily rolled on its right
side, studied the ground dream;ly, and
/ inquired in an indifferent tone:
"Wh-wh- whars - in -(hic)-that
train goin', m fren'?'
'Goin'?" echoed the puzzled brake
man; why, it's goin' to New York"
Thereupon the stranger studied the
ground again, evidently absorbed in
some mental computation; but pres
emily he sat up, smiled hazily and
added in a tone Of conviction:
"Well-m' fren'-let her--go-theu!
Letter-go! Ive-g-gone g::e) f.fur
null" .s... ~.
The consolidated brakeman kindly
helped the wrecked aerolite to get on
its feet, then he brushed and patched it
up, and two hours later put it aboard a
west-bound accommodation train that
doesn't tssFel so fast.
~ tns aighest Bidder
| A once famous English barrister,
who dearly loved o lord, on arriving
one day at Hamburg learned that o
distinguished member Of parliament
was staying at the hotel which he
had selected. He at once called the
waiter and offered him half o ma.
poleon, at the same time requesting
that a place might be reserved for
him at table d'hote adjoining that Of
the noble lord. When dinner was
served. no geyer, be entered the
room and found that the seat was
already occupied. He summoned
the waiter. why was not that
place reserved for me2" he demand.
ed, angrily. ''Well, sir, I'm very
sorry" replied the waiter; "yov
gave me half a napoleon to place you
near his lordship, but he gave me =
napoleon to put YOU on the further
lie of the table. "--Argonaut.
reTry winKs Tor insomnia.
81 have o new remedy for In
somnia," said the nervous member
as he entered the club rooms recent
iy.
IF it is good, tell US about It,"
at is very simple. Just 60 to bed
and take the most comfortable posi-.
ton for sleeping. Then slowly open
and close your eyes. II, after forty
winks, you are not asleep, then try
forty more. The great difficulty
with victims ofinsomnia is that they
almost always fall to thinking Of thu
events OF the day. This may bepre.
vented by persistent counting, but
that Is itself a mental effort and
wakes one up. Not so, however, with
winking. Ideiy any Of you to think
Of anything else while you are en-
gagged in lis simple exercise, ~
Utica Observer