Birmingham age-herald., 1895-06-23


back. We brought out a box of our best
cigars, showed our private decanter of
TX rye out to him and told him to help
himself. We insisted on his sitting in
the editorial chair and putting his feet
on the desk. He took a handful of our
egars and a long pull at our bottle-a
pull that made us regret our hasty gem
erosity for a moment-but when we in
sisted on his sitting down he rubbed his
hand mournfully over the bosom OF his
pants and said: I'm much obliged to
yer, but l amt set down for three days.
I've had to eat standing up and sleep
standing up. I've had to stand up to
drink, to cuss, to walk; in fact, every
thing I've done has been done a-standing
up. There is going to be a few funerals
in this here town, and won't be satisfied
till I'm a-standing up watching the pa
rade. You amt seen Tim Everfull to-
day, have yer?"
NO" we said; I'VE haven't seen him."
Maybe yer seen Bogy Crosseye some
where about2" said he.
Mary time" said we.
Don't s'pose you've seen Hank Bray
a-goin' a round with broken jaw"
We shook our head and said we hadn't
seen him going around with a broken
jaw or anybody else
Perhaps you could tell me where Id
be likely to find Sam Crook?"
Couldn't do it," said we.
He eyed us as though he thought we
We're lying, and said:
S You don't belong to that gang of cut
threats and body snatchers, do your
What gang is that?" we asked.
The Bungtown Lookup society,""
said he.
Never heard of it. What is it?" we
asked.
IF you don't mind me leaning up agn
the wall fer awhile, I'll tell yer about
We told him to wait moment and wd
would try to make him comfortable. We
then sent the devil out to borrow feath-
er pillow and an old flour barrel When
he returned with these articles we put
the pillow over the open end of the bar
rel and requested Jerry to sit down.
which he did, and was SO delighted with
our ingenuity that he subscribed for the
Cyclone on the spot.
We'll" said he. 81 came over to Bung-
town last Tuesday, and while knocking
around town in the afternoon happened
INTO the Spotted Dog, where Bogy Cross
eye and the rest of that gang were [
bought the drinks and treated 'em white
and we all stayed together till long about
o'clock. Then them felers began to
talk about meeting they We're going to
have that night, and said they would
have to leave me unless wanted to join
their society. L asked what kind of So
ciety it was and Tim said it was a benev-
olent association. Then they all got af-
ter me to join and finally said all right.
So they took me around to their hall
over the All Night Rest, and told me to
wait in the anteroom till they got things
fixed. | sat there and waited, like a
squash-headed idiot, till Tim Everfull
and Bogy Crosseye came out and said
they were ready for me.
Then they blindfolded me and led me
into the main hall. where / was paraded
around awhile. and then brought up in
front of the prelate. He preached me
sermon that made me think of the time
when l was a little kid and went TO
church every Sunday or got a lickn'.
When he got through and they had taken
up collection 1 was once more started
around the room, while somebody played
We Shall Meet On That Beautiful Shore
on fiddle. When the tune had died
away. cruelty murdered by that unhung
boss thief, whoever he was, l was pre-
scented to the senior warden, whose
breath l recognized as that of Sam
Crook. He delivered an address on
Mans Duty to Man that was very elo-
quent and touching, and | began to feel
like convert at niger camp meeting.
In this get glory state 1 was -paraded
up to the vice grand master. He told me
all about what the order was for; how
it would protect the wilder and orphan.
and while 1 didn't have no widders and
orphans to be looked after, I concluded
it was mighty good society, and was
glad l had Joined. When he finished |
was started out on the last grand parade,
and after the fiddle had assassinated an
other tune l was brought up before the
high royal grand. And he, by the way,
missed his calling. He should have been
a senator or a patent medicine man. His
address was a poem of beauty, a fault
less array of gems of thought. He made
my heart swell with gratitude when tell
ing about the grand possibilities of the
order; what great good it would do in
the world, and how its influence would
extend beyond this life and be felt in the
great final camp beyond the grave When
he wound up | was told to get down on
my knees, put my hands on the floor,
palms down. and rest my forehead on the
back of them. In this position my pis-
tol pocket was about Is inches above my
head. When | was in the right attitude
his highness started in to give me the
oath. But never heard what it was, for
just then ] was struck with either a
batterin' ram or a railroad engine. 1
turned two or three somersaults and
when | ripped the blindfold off 1 had
my legs around the grand masters neck.
and before l got through with him his
face would have looked well on a butch
er's counter. The whole gang of wood
en-headed images set on me then and as
they had took my guns | couldn't do
much, but made a few. of 'em wish they
hadn't undertook the protection of Wild
ders and orphans; and before 1 git
through with them there will be a few
bona fde widders and orphans to pro-
tect, and I'll bet a hos agin a chaw
terbacker that none of those skunks will
ever give 'em a cent"
With this Jerry painfully arose from
his position on the barrel, and the last we
saw of him he was limping down to-
ward the Little Dewdrop, looking sharp
ly to the right and left through his badly
swollen eyes. He had both triggers of
his gun at full cock, and such portions
of his face is could be seen between the
strips of plaster showed grim determina-
tion.
farmer entered the Cyclone office
the other day. He had a yellow covered
book under his arm, and on his sun
dried face there reposed a smile--and
such a smile! We never saw but one
like it before, and that was years ago
There used to be a fellow out in Cali
fornia who wrote verses and finally he