Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-07-11
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND Do
lNGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Jolze1ets that Are Supposed
to Have Been Recently Born-Sayings
and Doings that Are Odd Curious ana
LaushabIe-The Weeks Humor.
Let Us All Laugh.
Man with the gloomy liver,
Cease to deplore thy fate;

And go to digging bait.
Atlanta Constitution.
Visiting New Yorker-Haye you read
"Trilby' yet? Philadelphian-No but
have heard of H.-Somervllle Journal.
Son.-Father. is the position of Sem
ator higher than that of Congressman!
Father-It comes higher, my boy
Boston Post.
Eigg-Are you at ali interested in Sc
cret orders? Fogg-Only in connection
with the soda fountain at the drug
store.-Boston Transcript.
Biggs Why does Brown always write
his Jokes on such thin paper? Digs
So the editor can see through them, 1
suppose.-Albany Journal.
"Well," said the monkey to the organ
grinder as he sat on top of the organ,
'I'm simply carried away with the
music. Philadelphia Record.
"Have you read my last poem in the
magazine?" mo; but if it's really your
last just name the magazine, and I'll
buy itr'-Atlanta Constitution.
"Yass,' said Cholly, 1.-The guvnah
gives me money to burn, but don't do
it, " know Going to the races is
quickah." New York Recorder.
Cholly-Why do SO many of the girls
get married in June? "June brides"
you know. Polly-That's easy. It's be-
cause they're asked.-Chicago Record.
"What makes you think he cares for
you?" ''Why, mamma talked to him
for more than an hour last evening, and
he really seemed to enjoy it. Punch.
She-I was playing whist also last
night 1t was the first meeting Of our
Young Ladies' Whist Club. Hell Won
dered what made you so hoarse.-Har-
lem Life.
Tommy's pop-Why is it the little boy
who lives across the street seems to
have no friends? Tommy-Why, his
fathers a baseball umpire. -Philadel-
phia Record.
"When an 1S-year-old girl says her
mother won't let her accept an invita-
ton to party it is certain that the
wrong person has asked her to so. =
Atchison Globe.
He-You see, the free coinage of sill
yer would initiate prices She-Would
it? Then you'd better let me have some
money so I can get in some bargains at
once.-Brooklyn Life.
Casey-Phat made Mulligan fall off
de ladder? Did his fut ship? BELLY
1t did not Oh told him a joke an hour
ago, an sure he jist now tumbled.-
Philadelphia Record.
Willie-What does alimony mean, pa?
Does it mean all the money? Pa (bit-
terly)-Yes, all the money a man can
scrape together, and more, too, some
times--New York World.
''Talk about daylight robbery being
the height Of imposition said the man
as he shook his fist at the gas meter,
sit is not in it with gaslight robbery.
No '-Indianapolis Journal.
love to swing upon the gate,
Say, just at eventiIe;
That is, if it will bear the weight
OF some one else inside.
New York Herald.
do you know" gushed Miss May
flower, 81 think Jack is very much in
terested in palmistry. He told me he
paid $25 one evening last week just to
look at another mans hand."-Boston
Bulletin.
She Tin the art gallery)-I wonder if
my hat is on straight; everybody stares
at me so. He-Naturally they do; you're
the most perfect picture here. And
now the cards are out.-Philadelphia
Record.
Mrs. Mcbride (entering the kitchen)-
Bridget, didn't / see that policeman
kiss you? Bridget-Well, mum, sure
an yez wouldn't hev me lay mesilf opin
to artist for restrainin' an officer, mum?
-Harper's Bazaar.
Alberta do wish it were not the
custom to wear the engagement ring
only on the third finger Of ones left
hand. Alethea-So do l. I can't get
more than half my engagement rings on
at one time now.-Life.
Bass-Do you know that Henderson
is a regular lady-killer? CAST sus-
pected as much from what he said
about the woman in the big hat just in
front of him at the theater the other
night.-Boston Transcript.
'You have been a good while getting
upstairs said Mrs. Smarte, who with
her lord and master was stopping at
one Of our hotels Yes replied
Smarte; Il stopped to take ar eleva-
tor ooh, you need not have taken
the trouble to tell me, . said Mrs S.. toss
ing her head. II smelt your breath
the moment you entered the room.'-1
Boston Transcript