The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1895-06-01
WILL SOCK IT TO JOE,
"lF THA's ANY LAW THAT'S WORTH \
DuRN," SAYS wAYeAcK GEORGE.

The simpsons and the Piums Engage In
Nrighboriy plcasantrics Over the Circus,
Hopes Up and Then Down, aud the Same
rhing Over Again.
III tha's any law that's worth durn,
then I'm gointer sock 1t on to Joe Plum
on make him sweat" said Wayback
George Simpson at Geeville, in the hem
lock belt. There are two George Simpsons
In that nelghborhood, SO they call one
Wayback George because he lives eight
miles back in tho hills, and the other
Handy-by George because he lives only
three miles down the creek. This Is 50
they won't mix tho two Georges up.
Il s'pose ye herd about the circus that
showed over to town last week. said
Wayback George. First circus that's
been anyways nigh this deestric' in five,
year. Last one that come along me an
the old woman got free tickets for lettin
the Snowman stick some pictur's ON our
cowshcd door, an we was feelin toll able
good over this one, too, for tina wasn't ne
doubt hut what they'd want to use that
cow shed door agin fer pictur's Sure
enough, they drove into our place, jist
ahead o the big thunderstorm TINT sloshed
things around In the dccstric' so periniscu
Gus. asst 'em into the house, an we signed
for the barn door ag in. l made an all
fired good bargain with 'em, fer they
throwed in tickets fer the man catln can
nibals an the pig that plays keerds. Jest
ez they was signing fer the tickets piece
o. light busted right over the farm an
swooped down onto that COW shed. In less
timo than kin tell ye that shed was blaz.
In, an Their wasn't no door left fer to put
She pictur's on. Course that ended the
deal, an felt sorry fer the ole woman, fer
she had set her heart on goin to the show,
an she took on awful cause Their wasn't
uothin left o. the shed TO paste a show pic
| tur' on. Some folks mowt "a thought that
Sairy d "a felt worse over the cow bein
/ killed in the shed by the lightnin than
over the wipin off o. the face o. the earth
! Of "a 3 by 8 slab door, but sotch folks hain't
acquainted with Ssiry's yearnin's.
"'Cows hain't skeerce, said Sairy, but
I'll bate tina won't be another circus with
! In 100 miles o. this deestric' in 40 year!
she says specially one with kcerd
playing pig an q man eatin cannibal,' sht
says.
well, that lightnin made mo an the
ole woman goin to the circus look lcetl'
out o. the question, an things was gloomy
about my clecrin. Sol Parker owed mt
considerable on chopin job, but Sol hat
run poorly well to emptyin's on cash, al
tina wasn't much show for my ever gittii
any from him, but Sairy had an idee.
"'You go over to Sol Parker's,' sin
SAYS, an tell him that We hate to pestc
him, cause ye know he's lcetle close t
the wind, but that tha's circus comm
Lao. Il Toll hin, IN
Sairy, that yen take that ole sheep @
his'n an call it square, says she Then
show folks has got to hev meat fer thei
animals, says she You kin trade 'en
that sheep fer tickets fer the show say
Sairy.
II went over to Soils, an he wasn't II
ways slow in takin me up, for l don
s'pose he could IA got more'n seven shillil
for his old eve. l druv the sheep home
an things cheered up the powerfulcst kind
Joe Plum lives Jest beycnd me, an h
never had no COW shed nor nothin else tina
! anybody could stick n show pictur' on, a
so when he heard that l was spectin {
hire my shed door fer tickets to the sho'
he was madder'n n snake, cause he didn
hev no kind o. chance o. gcttin there hi
!. self When he heerd that my shed wa
eat up by lightnin, an that the deal IL
tickets was off, Joe come over a-grinni
meaner'n hyeny.
!. $50 we've changed yer mind bout goi
= to the show, hcv YEP says he to me. 1t
goin ter be a hummer, they tell me, sa!
he.
r II didn't say much to Joe, fer know
b. he couldn't 90 nuther, an that was son
consolation, fer IL he'd ben a-goin l thin
I'd had to jump on him right there q
thump him SO no couldn't "a got out fer
u month. / made big mistake not ado
1t, tell vel
We'll, when l got Soils sheep, an j
Plum heerd what 1 were Gale latin to
with 1t, he got madder'n he was afore .
; come over an said he had his idee o. foil
that trade of an inherent sheep fer liol
an taggers to eat jest to git in an sec
circus that wasn't goin ter mount
much anyhow. An l laughed Mt Joe, {
twitted him cause he couldn't go to Il
show, an asst him how much Of his clear
he'd give to be me an Sairy on show da
Joe was all but crazy, an l most felt sor
fer him to think what We was goin ter S
an he was goin ter miss.
THE mornin fore show day went
take look at the sheep, an the sheep W
gonel A bar had come down outen {
woods, killed my sheep an eat the me
Of 1t right on the premises, without II
ever gcttin an inklin of 1t. Sairy swoon
cd dead away when l told her an l II
like singin Hark, From the Tonbs' {
THROWN ashes over me. When Sairy col
to, she give few gulps an then says
me:
Don't you say word SO that j
Plum's folks'll hear > this, she sa!
I'd ruther go right over Jurdan Il
minute than hear them Plums a-gloat
cause can't git to see the showl says 81
$50 l KEEP mum, an we gloomed
gloomed for couple o. days. Then
Plum come over, GRIMM wuss'n ever
~ didn't see you nor Sairy to {
show says he 1T was hummer, sa
he.
"'How do yc know" says l.
"Me an my folks was there, says
chucklin.
Il most fell dead,
- "'Ycs,' says he. The mornin II
the show seen a big bar sneakin hi
quarterin from your place here of to'al
the woods, says he. i got my gun
sneaked around ahead o. the bar 81
he, an headed it off. only had to sh'
him wunst. Who d. ye think bought hi
The head Snowman. He give me SEQ
him an tickets fer me an Hammer an
[, the young uns Sorry you an Sa
D. changed yer minds says Joe. 'Ye mis-
heap, says he.
"Now I'm down here s'archin fer la
II tha's any law that's worth durn, /
gointer sock 1t onto Joe Plum an mt
him sweat That bar stole my sheep
knocked me an Sairy outen the show. .
killed the bar that had my sheep ms
of him an gifts to the show that the b
knocked me an Sairy out Of. II that hal
sheep stealth, Its excess'ry arter the ia
by gallinippersl An If don't make
Plum sweat, then tina hafn't no law thu
worth durn!'-New York Sun.
u, The Amateur Farmer.