The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-03-24

of the client who generally lives at some
distant point, like Harlem or Brooklyn. |
They will reach their destination short |
time before noon and their reception is
sure to be chilly and discouraging. IL Is
nrecisely at this moment that the Squarer
begins to get in his really line work IN De-
half of his unfortunate friend.
On entering the house he places the Oh
iect of his solicitude in a vertical position
in an obscure corner of the hall and
then proceeds to shake hands with
every member of the family in turn,
evincing at the same time the utmost cor
diaIity and utterly ignoring the cold looks
of suspicion which will be directed toward
him. The mother-in-law, 1t Is true, VIII
press forward eagerly to return his saiu-
tation, but that will be because she hopes
10 catch the odor of cocktail on his
| breath. Failing in this, she Will resume
| bar customary attitude of frigid reserve.
| Sometimes she will 60 SO far as to send
| the children upstairs when the Squarer,
whose heart is yearning for little human
tenderness and sympathy, gathers them
about his knee and tells them delightful
| fairy stories. in which dill ,ult art he Is
| absolutely without master.
He excels also in the kindred art OF Civ
ing a connected, coherent and plausible
| account of the remarkable chain of cir
cumstances which brought his friend to his
rooms and finally resulted in their joint
annearance in the Brooklyn Tor Harleml
home at such n very early hour IN the
day.
II is while the Squarer is telling his
story in tones of great earnestness and
| sincerity to an audience of the sort de-
scribed in the dramatic departments OF
newspapers as "coidly CRITICAL" that his
client first ventures into the parlor. No
attention whatever is paid to him when
he offers to substantIate every detail OF
the narrative, and even the Squarer looks
at him in a way that means, you'd bet
ter stay in the hall where put you until
YOU'RE sent for. I've got all / can do to
make them swallow this story we cooked
up without having you to come in anC
queer me right in the middle OF 1t.
As a matter of fact, the clients word
carries no more weight with the domestic
: Jury convened in that parlof than that o
. | a convicted murderer ut the bar OF JUS
| tice.
A GREAT many accomplishments an6
Q rare personal qualities enter into the com
a position of the successful Squarer, an
u none of these is of greater Importance
than his ability TO compel the family Il
believe at least half of the straight fol
% ward. unvarnished and highly interestin
account of his friends adventures, whic
u he tells in such n pleasant and coniiier
u tiaI manner. Indeed, it may be TRUTHFUL
II said that that story is the very keysion
10 of the arch on which the future peace an
happiness OF the cornwall client must res
a Al the close of his narration signs of
Q slight thaw are usually visible IN the hon
IS circle and the Squarer is likely to be ask'
~ to stay 10 dinner.
" THIS invitation he accepts with becor
:. inc humility and gratitude, someum'
y throwing out a remark about tho lionel
. ness of a bachelors life and his gre
Is fondness for simple home cooking. Ii
absolutely essential to the success OF Il
;, Souarer's undertaking that he should r
~ main TO dinner, If for nothing more tn
IL 40 40 the carving. His clent viii, u
70 ,r,,e. make one or two Intellectual choI
- in that direction, but the other "
- ouickly take the knife and fork out OF
=" hands with a there, old man, you'd beti
-' lei me attend to that and then Will
-. low an exhibition Of expert meat slci
us which will 90 long way toward restori