The Washington times., 1895-03-03
The STORY OF sHlDRlcH
lBY JAMES L. FoRD.I

L.
III was toward the close OF q colo. .cheerIess
Iay IN January, the 4:02 train from New
ioIA ndu Just paused with snort Of con-
Tempt at the little New Jersey town of
tSoii.ie s' Vliie eahothecommuters whoaIighted
from IL turned their trousers I'M above fbeir
ankles and buttoned their overcoatz srnoIT-
across their chests before setting ont across
the dreary expanse OF fields ana in -,,a,,aTs
streets beyond which shone the cheerful
Ilsh's OF thelr homes. Among these pas-
seiisels s " ds d tai, spare man, with a serious
race ana long gOatee, who bore a ratbar
seedy ulster and carried a large rnsrirst
basket on ms arm He sighed weariiy al ba
bent his steps toward the interestines e,
ample OF oWn-youF-own-home architectnra
IN which he lived, and as he aScended tho
steps the wind moaned sadly throu1b tba
woodenfiligree work that adorned the porch
While the hall windows, bright with colored
papers pasted over the panes in imitation ar
stained glass, ratified with suburban gIee.
Once inside his snug, warm study. where
| aflre was blazing onthe hearth and theI light
was shining eheerfully from a lamp with
| red h0opskirts over it, the commuter depos-
| tied his basket on the table and sank, with
a sigh orrelief, into the big leather reasych
The room was filled with implements Of his
craIt, and so great was the variety OF articles
| displayed that but few Iaymen would have
Deen aole to guess what trade il was that
| CANNED this sad-faced mans labor
A disJointed stove-pipe stood in a corner
| by the fireplace, bits Of fresh orange and
banana peel rested on the table, the manteI-
/ piece had sprincipal ornamenta stuffed
/ yellow wdogthathade evidently seenmuehhard
| service and dozen wooden maDDiEins
| bearing such labels as ''MOther-in-Iaw -
| "Plumbe ''Vassar Girl, - Young Hus-
band, and "Office Boy" sat in a serious.
helpless row on an old horsehair sofa.
The sad-raced man was William Wal
/ nut, the well known professional humor-
lot e.rNA - i
| from 1T number Of packages containing
| Jokes, poems, ballads, short stories. and
other literary wares, he uttered a sepuI-
/ chral gToan OF despair, for these were the
liable goods which had been re
| turned to him that day from the various
newspapers and publishing offices which
| ne mad visited in the course of his regular
weekly trip to the city.
Inc door opened and a graceful woman
| with sad care-wOFn face came toward
him with outstretched arms MY dear
| one" she cried, tenderIy, you look
disheartened; was your triF to the city
a failure"
Alas, Jane" responded her husband
with something like a sob in his voice,
| although / tramped the streets OF the
great town all day long with my basket
| onmy arm, metnothing but disappointment
on every hand, and i have come back
| as heavily laden as / went, and inf
nitely more depressed in spirit 1t
seems to me that the demand for Jokes,
| poems, mother -in-law idyls, stove-pipe
pastorals, banana peel fantasies las
| ceased forever and I really do not see
how we are going to get through the
winter"
William" said his wife. braveIy,
there was gentleman here to day
who wishes to buy-I scarcely dare tell
you OF it, but 1 feel there is nothing
! else to be done. 1t VIII break the chill
dren's hearts,
surely, Jane" cried the husband, you
do not mean that you thiEk Of parting with
our faithful Shadrach2"
Il do" rejoined his wife, firmly but
sadly. This gentleman was passing the
house and saw Shadrach sitting in his
| customary place in the fence corner, eating
his MONDAY shavings. To my surprise he
came in and offered 10 buy him for 500,
! explaining that he was IN need OF good
family goat with long gray whiskers and
| that he had not seen any one among the
many which he had looked at which could
compare in point Of quaint beauty, keen
| sense of hUmor and d0cility with our own
dearly beloved beast"
What does he want him foT?'' demanded
William, suspici0usly II suppose be is
a rival humOrst-"
NO, William, / am sure you are mis-
taken, for he wore beautiful suit OF black
brOadclOth and a cluster diamond pin
In fact, he told me himself that he was the
proprietor OF that big factory whose tall
chimneys can be seen from our room
The following morning the stranger ap-
peared and, tue bargain having been made,
the faithful Shadrach was dragged, in
spite of his resistance. through the front
gate while the children clung TO him with
Sobs and cries and the mother watched
them tearfully from the porch.
Poor Shadrach,'' exclaimed William
that afternoon, Il really don't see how
4 -. Ill
What the compass is 10 the mariner, the
cold deck-to the poker shark the dyed mus
tache to the bunco Steerer, the goat is TO
the American JOke-maker. He is the
cornerstone of our national hUmor. You
may trace his influence in the pages OF
every comic newspaper in the land, and
If his whiSkeTrd tribe were to become eX-
tinct like the dOdO my firm belief is that
the whole profession of fun-making
would disappear from the face OF the earth,
like the repu tatiOn OF a police captain
in the fierce white light Of the Lexow in
vestigatiOn."
"Papai' screamed Tommy from the
front window, ''here comes Shadrach
home again" And there sure enough,
was the worthy goat, accompanied by his
new owner.
The entire Walnut family rushed into
the front yard TO give the wanderer
hearty welcome. The stranger who was
hopping his brow with a large silk hand
kerchief, exclaimed: u don't now
what TO make of this animal. I hap
pened to remark in his hearing that was
going out in search of new foreman, and
he insisted upon accompanying me. had
no objection to that as long as he walked
quietly along, but when We reached the
corner of your street he literally forced
me to your doorstep, partly by dragging
me by the coat sleeve, and partly by butting
me from behind Bless my svdl, what's
the beast about now?"
Shadrach. wZo had bounded into the
house with the children at his heels,
now reappeared with half a dozen sheets
OF white paper in his mouth and brought
them to his new owner.
''Shadrachr' cried William sternIy,
chow often have 1 forbidden you to
touch any OF the papers on my desk?''
Give me those jokes this minute"
''JOkes!' cried the stranger, as he took
the papers from the goats mouth and ex-
amined them eagerly. You deal in
Jokes. sir?''
Il make them as a means OF liveli-
hood" replied William Walnut, and
Shradrach has often evinced a hunger
for them that was nothing short OF can
nibalistic, as many of them were of his
own Species
These are very excellent Jokes, in
deed" continued the stranger. critically
examining the piece of paper, whil8 the
intelligent goat regarded him with keen
delight portrayed on his mobile features.
Il hold diploma as a master JOKER"
replied William modestly.
Excuse me- continued the stranger,
'tmav I If Won are of Sobar fndusrri-