The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1895-04-09
PIGH AND POINT

A preferred creditor One who is in
no hurry for his money.-Albauy Ar
EHs.
Why is tramp like flannel shirt?
Because he shFinks from washing. -
Pathfinder.
Fresh from the cooking school, you $50,
She merited the praise
OF him who fondly said that she
Knew beans in fourteen ways
Truth
CDR. White is a specialist, is he mott
What is his specialty?" "He has
two - consultations and fees. -
Vogue.
Throughout the animal kingdom the
male is the superior animal Pardon,
sisters; the accident of sex is against
you. Puck.
The eyes may be the windows of the
soul, but the mouth is the door that
shows what kind of company it en+ara
tains. Puck.
Nobody but q loving mother could
weep bitter tears over lost child, and
then spank it energetically for return.
ing. -Tid-Bits.
These sleighlngs give tho tin-horn hend
chance to blow his strains;
But, oh, alas! aud OH, alackl
He cant blow out his brainsl
Cincinnati Tribune
Little Ethel-"Why is it womens is
always complninin' about the hired
grip" Little Dot--"Oh, that's Just
so folks will know they can afford to
keep one. GOOD News.
New Yorker-"Y ought to have
faster trains between New York and
Boston" Bosto There should
certainly be faster trains from New
York to Boston South Boston
News.
He was so green when he met her
That he didn't know what to do;
And the more he tried to forget her.
The more il made him blue
Detroit Free Press.
Sheriff Ton the morning OF the exc
cution) the prisoner impudent
when you told him to get ready for
the scaffold?" Deputy -''Er-he told
me he'd be hanged if he would. -
Buffalo Courier.
Patron-"Your living skeleton il
getting old, but he holds we'll TO.
gether." Dime Museum Manager
eyes; he holds well together. You
see, we always wire him when we want
TO engage him. New York Press.
Schoolmate-"W why do you never
touch your piano." Miss TrumpegZ
ewes buying it on installmehts.
"What difference does that make ~
'I'm afraid if paw should hear me
play, he'd stop p ying. - Good News
Doubtless the india-rubber man.
Tho museum patrons joy.
Began his life in this world OF strife.
Buffalo Courier.
Plumson-'T'll bo mighty gla when
we get through the nineteenth cen
tury." Rlyson "Why?" Plumson
-"By that time the writer's will be
obliged TO give fin de steele much
needed and well earned rest. - Boston
News.
"Whnt do You think Of these oggs?"
whispered the lean boarder. 'rhese
eggs, responded the fat boarder.
whose occupation was that OF adver.
Using clerk in a newspaper Office, care
boo late 60 classify. "-Chicago Tri-
bune
AANAN AAAND W NAlh hMIEb uOWEd
before YOU will even let me have dol
lar" "WelI. isn't that pretty good
pay for doing what you take q delight
in? You would talk anyhow, even il
you didut get cent. indianapolis
journal
Mrs Quizby- "Why didn't ou sell
your house after you advertised it91
Mrs. Hon ester when wo saw tho
description that the real estate agent
gave Of it wo thought it would be
paradise lost il we did. PHILADELPHIA
Inquirer
Judge On 1920 Prisoner. YOU
have been convicted OF heinous
@ri ne, and the punishment is severe
properly So The sentence OF this
court Is that you must play football on
the Yalovar I teams 70 seven years and
three monih4' Prisoner Gas he goes
out weeping oh, Why did thay