Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1895-01-23
| HARD ON THE PouLTRYMAN.,

|
The Purchaser Was Carrying Out His
Wife's Directions in Buying q Turkey.
He had been gazing long and earn
estly at the rows of turkeys hanging
| from the hooks of stand in Washing.
ton market, and the poultryman began
to eye him suspiciously. Yet he did
not look like a thief, the mild look in
his eye denoting anything but the
CLEAN of acquisition. Still, his actions
were not calculated to inspire conf
| dence.
Every now and then he would walk
up to the rack and feel gobbler's
breast bone, then stand off and take
side look at the fowl, moving around
presently and gazing at it from the
other side. In this way he would adj
mire it from all points of view and
seemed to derive immense satisfaction
| from the observation.
| The poultryman was fast becoming
nervous over these strange proceed
ings and to put an end to his anxiety
as to the mans intentions he ap.
preached him and asked:
swell, sir, what can do for you?"
The man started, and for moment
appeared to be disconnected, but recov-
stammered:
"Why, You see, I don't quite know
yet"
swell. it's about time you did,"
gruff1y replied the poultryman.
"Ye-yes-I suppose SO, but don't.
I want to get turkey, but want to-
be quite sure of my ground before
proceed"
The poultrynan looked at him still
more suspiciously.
II dare say you will think me lit
tile peculiar" continued the stranger,
''but the fact is my wife is not very
WE'LL and she has sent me to buy tur-
KEY for our dinner. Now, / never
bought turkey in my life, and don't
want to make any mistake in it.
have full instructions from my wife,
but still it requires great care to carry
them out.''
ooh, if that's ALL" said the poultry
man, treasured, II will help you out"
"You will?" asked the man, eagerly.
"With pleasure. What's the matter
with this one?" and he took down
turkey and held it up to view.
docs the breast move in or out un-
der pressure?" asked the purchaser
doubtfully.
ssTry it for yourself"
''It seems flexible" said the man
gingerly, pressing his fingers upon the
part mentioned. ssYou know my wife
is great judge of these things and she
told me all about it. Now, about the
color of the legs They should BIO
purpley blue, with just a tinge of
gray"
well, there they are; you couldn't
get anything nearer the description
unless we painted them for you"
''No, no; don't want 'en painted.
She said the color should be natural.
Now, about the flesh; want to pinch
that and see that 1T is elastic"
''Well, PINCH" said the dealer.
The purchaser pinched and pinched
until there was not an inch of the bird
not fairly covered; then he gave a sigh
of satisfaction.
'.That seems all right. But there's
one thing more-the wings You don't
mind my twisting them according to
my wife's instructions? She calls that
the browning test of tenderness" and
he deiicately turned then, around as
he would the knob of door. This
done, he opened the beak and looked
into the mouth devoting considerable
time to minute examination of the
tip of the tongue. Finally he an
nounced his satisfaction, paid for the
turkey and started off with it.
He reached the door, then suddenly
turned.
''Great Heavens! forgot to exam
inc fexibility of the spur, and without
being backed by that all other tests
are useless
But the poultry man had vanished
into nearby saloon and at that mo-
ment was engaged in toning up his
nerves for the next customer.-N. Y.
Herald.
The JUDGE 81 hope shall not see you
here again Prisoner lwhe is arrested
weekly -"Not see me? Why, yer amt