The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1895-08-31
PuNoENT PARAGRAPHS.

-.sCholly believes in himself thor.
oughly," said one girl. YES" replied
the other; .'he's SO credulous. WASH
ington Star.
-Biggs-"Why does Brown always
write his jokes on such thin paper?'
Diggs-''So the editor can see through
them, / suppose. ALBANY Journal.
Prom Her Standpoint -He-"How
do you like my new diamond scarf
pin?'' She-eIt would look much better
made over into ring. Free
Press.
First Sojourner-"Do you always
get your meals on time here?" Second
Sojourner-"Yes; have to till some of
my friends show up. I'm deucedly glad
to see you. Boston Courier.
-Lumleigh-"What makes you think
young Phether Waite is drummer for
. bicycle conccrng' Chumleigh-"Any-
body can see that. He carries samples
in his head."-N. Y. World.
"A Lively Time.-She-"I was play
ing whist also last night 1t was the
first meeting of our Young Ladies'
Whist club" He-"I wondered what
made you 30 hoarse. Harlem Life.
--Helen-"How could you give up
Harry Haussman for Tom Waterman?
You used to think everything of
Harry" Martha-'I know; but the
theaters are nearly all closed now,
and Tom has such a lovely yacht
Boston Transcript
Visitor Ito attendant friar in the
refectory Of a convent)-''Are we al
lowed to smoke here?" Friar-"No,
SIR" visitor-..Then where do all
these stumps of cigars come from that
l see lying about?" Friar-''From
those gentlemen who didn't ask. -
Tagliche Rundschau.
Putting Him on His Mettle.-
Doctor said the sick man, who is
painfully shrewd. II haven't dollar
to leave to posterity; not square inch
property" II don't quite see how that
concerns me-" II dunno that it does
in particular. Only was hopin' that
I'D get well right soon SOS to hustle
around and earn money to pay your
bill "-Washington Star.
"A New York undertaken, or funeral
director, as the reader may prefer, ad-
vertised for driver for hearse, and
among the applicants he selected
good-looking, strong fellow, with a
solemn couutenance, and took him into
his private office. Before employing
you," said the undertaken, II want to
know If you have had any experience
in this business?" well, 1 never
drove hearse," admitted the ap-
plicant, "but I've drove the next thing
to It, and guess can give You salts
faction" .'How do you mean? don't
understand" and il was evident from
the undertaker's puzzled look that he
was speaking the truth. why" said
the applicant, with confidence. II drove
a rapid delivery wagon in Philadelphia
for seven years" He got the job.-N.
Y. Sun.
1T was Tennessee Methodist class
leader who had before him six
months, probationer whom he was
questioning for admission to all the priv
ileges Of the church. ''Well, Sambo."
said the class leader, Il hope You are
prepared TO live Christian life in ac-
cordance with your profession. Have
you stolen any chickens during the
last six monthsY' mo, sah l done
stole no chickens" "Have you stolen
any turkeys or pigs?" Sambo looked
gricved. mo, sah!" II am very glad
to hear this good report" continued
the class leader" ''and j trust Won will
continue to live an honest, Christian
life.' After church Sambo hurried
home with his wife. who bad overheard
the catechising. When they were fair
ly out Of everybody's hearing he drew
n long breath of relief and turned
self approving glance Ia his better
half. ''Golly," he said, ia a half-cau-
tious whisper, "efhe'd er said ducks I'd
BEN q lost niggah, suah. "-Bostor
Budget.