davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-08-24

He was by nature and heredity one
of those predestincd anglers whom
Izaak Walton tersely described as
born So" His earliest passion was
fishing. His ~favorite passage in Holy
Writ was that place where Simon
Peter throws a line into the sea and
pulls out a great fish at the first cast
But hitherto his passion had been in
dulged under difficulties-with impro-
vised apparatus of cut poles, and fab
by pieces of string, and bent pins,
fish; or perhaps, with borrowed tackle,
dangling a fat worm in vain before the
noses of the staring, supercilious SUM-
fish that poised themselves in the clear
water around a certain hotel dock at
Lake George; or, at best. on picnic
parties across the lake, married by the
humiliating presence of nurses, and
disturbed by the obstinate refusal Of
old Hrrace, the boatman, to believe
that the boy could bait his own hook,
but sometimes crowned with the de-
light of bringing home a whole basket
full of yellow perch and goggle-eyes.
OF nobler sport with game fish, like
the vaulting salmon and the merry,
pugnacious trout, as yet the boy had
only dreamed. But he had heard that
there were such fish in the streams
that flowed down from the mountains
around Lake George, and he was at
the happy age when he could believe
anything-if it was sufficiently inter-
esting.-Henry van Dyke, in Century.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-08-24
HUMOROUS.

An Ellinwood (Kas.) man offered
the editor of the Advocate a quarter to
roast" his wife for running away with
a hack-driver. Cincinnati Commercial
Gazette.
Not Soothing.-He-'Is this the
first time you've ever been in love. dar-
lingo" She (thoughtlessly)-"Yes but
it's so nice that 1 hope it won't be the
lastr'-Tit-Bits.
Ills there much dissipation here?"
asked a New Yorker of a Maine native.
Mary a bit" was the reply. "Why.
the sun can't aver dissipate the fog"
Texas Siftings.
The Husband Seeing his wife Off
You must promise not to ask for
money every time you write" The
Wife-"But that would necessitate my
writing SO much oftener. Life.
II notice you never give credit in
your columns" said the captious read
er. NO, said the editor of the Punk
vile Bugle, but you jist ought to see
my subscription list. indianapolis
Journal.
-Maud-"Were you overcome by the
heat. Mabel?' .Mabel-'No, dear; 1
was Frustrated because 1 couldn't
think of a new combination in soda
flavor; it surely couldn't have been the
seven glasses l had taken."-N. Y.
World
An absent-minded young preacher
in Kew England, wishing to address
the young ladies of his congregation
after the morning services, remarked
from the pulpit that he would be very
glad if the female brethren of the con-
%gregation would remain after they had
gone ome.-Harper's Round Table.
Don't you,'' said the summer
boarder, sometimes envy the city peo-
pie who come here with nothing to do
but recreate?" No" replied Farmer
Corntossel, II dunno's / do. / swing
the scythe till l get right tired an
imagine it lorn tennis, an set out on
the front porch ter get bit by the mers-
cutters Of %evenin's an manage ter have
bout ez good a time as the rest of EN-"
Union Signal.
One of the best stories told by Dean
Hole in his Memories" is of an old
fashioned cathedral verger, lord OF
the ~aisles," who, M noon, found a
piOus visitor on his knees in the sacred
ediice. The verger fastened up to
him and said, in a tom of indignant
excitement: 1.-THE services in this ca
thedral are at ten in the morning and
at four in the afternoon, and we don't
have no fancy prayers"
Sir Benjamin Guinness, Of Xxx
stout fame, was in Dublin and had
shown an American tourist st. Patrick's
cathedral restored by Guinness the
schools founded by Guinness" and
the brewery founded by Guinness"
Well" said Sir b., "what do you think
of that?" I guess" quoth the Yankee,
II guess I never saw a more remark
able combination of salvation, educa-
tion and intoxication." Guinness didn't
speak.-Household Words.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-08-24
MY REWARD.

I met her al the sea shore; twas . lovely July
night:
The band was playing gayly, and the moon was
shining bright
] met her in the ballroom, and I danced the
two-step so
She said: You dance the very best Of all the
men I know"
walked upon the saffron, wave-bea- sands
with that fair maid,
And told her that I loved her, that my love
would never fade.
And she. she smiled so sweetly that knew
that she was mine.
1t needed not her yes to prove nv blessing
so benign
J bought a rlng-a beauty-'twas q brilliant
solitaire:
It dazzled all 5ehodlers; twas. indeed, beyond
CON pare.
1t cost two hundred dollars. and it came from
Binany.
And when she put it on she seemed o'crcome
with ecstasI.
We Grove together, walked together, bravcd
the sea and storm:
We strolled at eve when it was cool, Al noon
when it was warm.
] bought her books and roses, and I took her to
the dance,
And told her that my best reward was just one
smiling glance.
And all went we'll until one night another fell
low came,
/ never knew, and do Lot wish to know. that
fellows name.
But when she introduced MIN, when we met
that awful day,
Said she to me: Il want you. George. to know
my fiance.
And in the fall, when we are wed, I hope that
Won will be
On OF the ushers; you have been so very good
to me.
You've helped me while away the long. dull
hours at the shore.
While poor old Jack was toiling IN the city at
the store,'
-Harper's Bazaar.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-08-24

OCCu oShNu III
"'Well,'' he continued, rcflectively,
putting his pipe. Il was disp'stitioned
that away when I'm a colt. But that's
long time ago, an l amt in line for no
sech gymnastics no more. My years is
way ag'in it; likewise females. You've
got to ketch folks young to marry 'em.
After they get to be thirty years they
goes slow to the altar. If you make
out to marry a mar after he's thirty
you has to blindfold him an back him
in. Females, of course, amt so OBJ
-durate.
No; l s'pose this yere bein' married
is a heap habit, same as tobacco and
jug juice. A man takes a hand early;
it's all right. But let him get to
pesterin' round in the forties an him
not begun none yet; he don't marry
nuthin'. Of course there is people that
gsordid they lakes to layin' for some
woman's stack, wharby they even
makes sech a desperate play as mar
ryin' her to win; but you an me don't
discuss no low game like that.
bar a onexplainable difference with
the girls old man, | s'pose I'd be all
married right now. l was, maybe,
twenty them times. 1t was way back
in Tennessee. This girl was a nice,
luscious girl -cornfed, too. They all
lives about eleven miles from me, out
on the Pine Knot pike, an once in two
weeks l saddles up an goes I'VE Thar
was jest her old nan an mother an
her in the family, an it's that far l
alters made to stay all night. Thar
was only two beds, an SO I'm put to
camp along OF the old man, the times l
stays. l was way bashful an behind
on all social plays an plenty awe
struck about the old folks. l never
feels happy a minute where they are.
The old lady alters does her best to
make me easy an free, too, Comes
out when l rides up, an alters lets
down the bars for nv boss. an'asks me
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-08-24

the wrong bronco. Let me ask this
young female 4 question. Young
woman he say to Tucson Jennie, be
you fully informed as to whose neck
you're hangin' too
Its Dawes, amt il" she says,
lookin' all fearful in his face to make
shore.
"Enright an the rest of us don't say
nothin', but jest looks at each other.
Tut tiushes up an looks pleased both
at once, but jest the same he puts his
arms around her like the dead game
man he is.
"'What1l you have, gents?' Enright
says at last, quite thoughtful. The
drinks is on me, barkeep.'
Excuse me- says Doc Poets, but
as the author of this yere plot, l takes
it the p'isen IS On me. Barkeep, set
out all your bottles
Gents says Jack Moore, I'm as
pe~acefula man as even jinglcd a spur
or pulled a gun in Wolfville, but as I
reflects on the active part l takes in
this yere play, I won't be responsible
for results if any man comes between
me an payin' for these drinks. Bar
keep. I'm dOin' this myself
well, it's hard encomcratin' just
how many drinks we do have. Jim
Wallace throws away the wagon cover
an comes over from the New York
store an stands in with US. 1t gets to
be a orgy.
"'Of course it's all right says En-.
right: the camp wins with Tut in.
stead of Wallace, that's all. 1t illus
trates one of them beautiful character
istics of the gentler sex, too. Yere's
Wallace, to say nothin' of twenty
others, as besieges an ~beleagues this
yere female for six weeks an she scorns
'em. Yere's Tut, who amt sayin' a
word, don't bat an eye, nor wag a
year, an she grabs him. 1t is sech
uncertainties, gents, as makes the love
If a woman valuable
YOU should have asked me- says
Faro Nell, who comes in right then an
rounds up right close to Cherokee.
Why, 1 could tell you two weeks ago
Jennie's in love with Tut. Anybody
could see it. Why, she's been feedin'
of him twice as good grub as she does
anybody else. ''-Washington Post.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-08-24
Rcmnying Putty.

Removing putty from old sashes is
is not SO easy a job as would at first
sight appear. 1t is almost impossible
to cut the putty out with the usual
hacking knife aud hammer without
damaging the woodwork. To avoid
these Inconvenience. and the danger
of accidents to clothing and hands
when strong acids are used, a good
plan is to employ petroleum, at inter-
walls Of half an hour, generally being
all that is required. 1t may be stated
as a reason for this that petroleum
penetrates into the pores of the putty,
and dissolves the hardened linseed oil.
In a short time the putty regains its
original Elasticity, so that in two or
three hours after the application of
the first coat, one eau, with the point
of a knife, cut out the putty with
ease.-Engineering Magazine.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-08-24

to rest my hat the second I'm in the
door.
well, matters go on good enuf IN
til maybe the eighth time I'm thar. 1
remembers the night ali perfect.
Final l gets to sleep a-layin' along the
aige OF the bed, amin to keep way
from the old man, who's snorin' an
thrashin' round an takin' on owe in
the middle.
II don't recall nuthin' until comes
to a-holdin' to the old mans year with
one han an q hammerin' OF his fea-
lures with t'other. l don't know yet
why. Is'pose I gets to allowin' he's a
bar or somethin' in my sleep an tries
to kill him.
We'll, son, itsaway back a long time,
but l shudder yet when l recall that
old mans language. l jumps up the
second l realizes things. grabs my
raiments, an gettin' my horse out of
the lot, goes pintin' down the pike
more'n a mile fore l stops to dress.
The lat l sees of the old maj he's
pitchin' an tossin' an the females a
hcldin' of him, an he's reachin' to get
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-08-24

In bestowing the usual goodnight
caress and kiss Lucy's mamma had
CHANGED to tickle the little girls face
with her eyelashes, which had caused
the little girl to laugh. Later that
night, when everyone in the house
was in bed. mamma was awakened by
hearing Lucy call. fastening to the
bedside she inquired what she wanted.
''Oh, mamma said the little one, u
dot so lonesome! l want you to mate
me laugh adam wiz your eye-bangs."
-,Judpe,
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-08-24
just Judgments.

Mirth is a great sweetener.
There is only one of each of us.
It is better to be born lucky than
tired.
a chiid's "why?" is a parents buga-
boo.
Turn the tragic" hungry from your
gate.
Don't give to man, woman, or child
who whines.
1t is a very mean nature that won't
borrow once in awhile.
An ounce of prevention" and a
pound of a~nticipatory anxiety.
In the home the power behind the
throne is the eldest daughter. Judge.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-08-24
He Retained Twenty-Five Per Gent.

Eckstein-I tole YOU mine Ikey is
shmart. Rachel's young man git him
q fife toller gold piece to play init unit
he schwallerd it, unit the young man
got a shtomach pump.
Levi-Did he get back his fife tollar?
NO, dot poy's full of business. All
he could get out of him was tree toll.
lars unit seveuty-fife cents."-Truth.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-08-24

In 1850 only three per cent Of the
population of Mississippi was engaged
in manufactures, while Arkansas had
but four per cent; South Carolina, Ala
bama and Texas, five per cent: North
Carolina and Georgia, seven per cent.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-08-24

Robbins-I think Mack will regretit
Wvld-What?
Notwithstanding the girls name en-
graved inside the engagement ring
rooklyn Life.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-08-24

Neutrality is no favorite with
Providence, for we are so formed that
it is scarcely possible for us to stand
neuter in our hearts, although We may
deem it prudent to appear so in our &C
tions.-Colton.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-08-24
TUCSON JENNIE'S HEART.

HYEVER amt l 4
married MANI SAYS
you" SO spake the
old cattle man, as
he settled himself
in his chair. The
question had just
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-08-24

The Aroostook, in Maine, was
named from an Indian word, meaning
''good men"
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-08-24

1t is said that SITS, 600, 900 are in-
vested by our farmers in turkeys.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-08-24

-, t Slootin' once or twice says
Moore, might arouse her suspicious.
1t would be over 4 heap too quick for
the real thing
The minut e the shootin' is ceased
we all takes T1tt and surges ove to
the Red Light to try him; a pendin'
of which Dan Boggs santers Cver to
the o. X. restaurant an remarks, all
casooal an careless like:
"'Dave Tut down. Jim Wallace a
minute back-good clean gun play as
ever ! sees. too. Mighty big credit to
both boys this yere is. No shootin' up
the scenery, an the bystanders, nor
sech slobberin' work, but everything
goes straight to centers.'
"'Whar is hep says Jennie, lookth'
breathleSs an sick.
"tJim's remainder is in the New York
store, said Dan.
lis he hurt? she gasps.
- don't reckon he hurts none, cause
he's done iuttered from the perch.
Why, girl, he's dead-eighteen bullets,
caliber 10, plumb through him.
mo, but Dave! Is Dave shot?' Tue
son Jennie says, a-wringin' of her
small paws.
NOW, don't you go to feelin' dis
couraged nome says Dan, begiunin' to
feel sorry for her. We fixes the wretch
so his murderin' spirit won't be an
hour behind Jim's gettin' in. The
Strangers has him in the Red Light
maxim plans to stretch him right now
"WA had just consoomed drinks all
The evening world., 1895-09-18
AN AMERICAN SUNDAY.

Breastworks Miller is shouting for an
sAmerican Sabbath"
What is an American Sabbath? Il 1t
. day on which an honest, earnest Sab
batarian should have the privilege OF
compelling all other men to believe, a.
he believes. that even conversation on
secular matters is a sin? Is it day on
which bigotry. intolerance and can,
should be given power to impose pains
and penalties on all who will not EN-.
brace their own fanatical Views or con.
form to their own hypocritical shams
and pretenses?
What Is there American" in passins
laws to punish every one who refuses te
think as We think. to believe as We be.
Neve, to worship as We worship?
On every week day a good citizen will
respect public decency and preserve goot
order. That is all that should be re-
CURED Of him on Sunday. To pretend
that laws compelling all men to be saint.
or hypocrites on Sunday make al
American Sabbath Is nonsense.
The evening world., 1895-09-18
THE AMERICAN SABBATH"

When on Sundays a man cannot legally take
Anything but cold water II he'd his thirst slake,
when II beer he should drink his freedoms at
stake.
II is called the American sabbath"
When on Sunday a man asks q friend home to
dine,
And sets on his table . bottle Of wine.
By the law OF this State that friend must de-
cline
Or else break the American Sabbath"
And u you are q native OF soms foreign cline.
An American citizen but for q time
French. Italian or German-you'rs guilty OF
To drink on the American Sabbath"
Good Miller. who outside the brsastworks did
nght,
Says that what's good on week days on Sundays q
not right,
And the q. o. p. dared not that question to
slight
How to keep tn. American Sabbath"
But in spite Of their buncombs. Of one thing be
surs,
These laws don't hurt the rich. though they
badger the poor:
At their clubs the big fellows may always pro-
Their drinks on tho American Sabbath"
And soon va are promised whatever our views
That sundays the bootblacks shan't polish our
shoes.
For that might the feelings OF Christians abuse
And would break our American Sabbath"
n A. JENNINGS
The evening world., 1895-09-18
PLATT NOT TOO SLY.

As the years pass by the quality OF
Thomas G. Platt's slyness grows ever
thinner and less dangerous. Few. in
deed. Will be fooled by yesterdays bunco
game at Saratoga. TO placate Warner
Miller, to please the rural Republicans.
to avoid antagonizing the city sentiment
in favor of home rule and to relieve the
Convention of some Of the odium OF be-
1ng absolutely dominated by Platt were
all good things to do. from n Platt point
of view. But they should have been
done less awkwardly and ostentatiously.
When MIR. Platt wants to be 'sly devil
Ssh sly. sir" he ought not to sit on the
front seat and publicly pull the strings
that make his puppets jump.
The source and stimulus OF yesterday S
proceedings were entirely too obvious.
Warner Miller knows very we'll that the
public knows that he was Platts tool.
The rural voters know that Platt was
merely angling for their votes. The city
voters know that 1t was Plat who throt-
tiled home rule. The whole public sees
rlearly that the Convention was run ELL
tirely by Platt and in his interest, and
that the ostensible overriding OF Platts
will in the excise matter was merely u
little dust thrown in the air.
Mr.. Platts machinery works very
smoothly. but there is no mystery about
Il. Everybody can See the wheels &c
round.
The evening world., 1895-09-18
sTIUK A PIN Il ERE.

The Republican party OF New Yorl
State has declared in favor OF the main
tenance Of "the Sunday laws"
That means the Sunday laws At pres
ent existing. which may be proper
enough for the protection Of peace and
good order in rural communities. but
are unnecessary, unequal and obnox
ious in their operation in all large cities
The Republican Convention expressl,
refused to approve a resolution favor.nR
laws under which people In cities could
regulate the excise matter In conform
ance with the will OF the majority.
The issue, then, IL clear cut. for OF
against home rule. The excise question
is only ono feature. The principle In
volved covers every detail Of govern.
ment.
II the rural voters can regulate city
liquor selling they can regulate city po-
lice, city street-cleaning and city govern
ment generally. As a matter OF fact
they already. through their control OF
the Legislature, do Interfere with the
local rights and privileges Of citizens In
New York, Brooklyn and other large
cities, in almost every department Of
municipal government.
The Republican party indorses this
system, and will extend II indefinitely.
The duty OF the city voter Is clear.
The evening world., 1895-09-18
A Glove Innovation.

The women of this country are the
only ones who insist on having their
hands tightly bound in their gloves,
for English and French women all wear
loose ones. French gloves fit truly with
out wrinkle, but that is because they
are perfectly cut and loose. When q
hand so incased is taken 1t can be
felt when an American woman's hand,
trussed up in tight kid, is grasped. 1t
feels more like a little foot in a shoe
than a hand. The English glove does
wrinkle and the English woman has
large hands. too. 1t does seem as II the
American woman might submit to the
two examples, and dealers are going to
try her.
The evening world., 1895-09-18
A Fine Face Cren m.

very delightful face cream can be
made at home by melting three ounces
or lanoline in shallow vessel. then
heating gently one ounce of rose water
In which has been dissolved about
twenty grains of powdered borate Of
soda. The Two should be mixed to-
gether at a temperature as warm as
can be comfortably borne by the fingers.
stirred briskly and then allowed to cool.
The stickiness can be overcome by add
Ing about a ,caspoonful of almond oil
This makes most delightful emolllent
and will be found extremely beneficial
where the skin is rough and scaly. and
is invaluable as a remedy for sunburn
and chapped hands.
The evening world., 1895-09-18
The Kitchen sink.

Be careful that no cabbage water 10
poured down the kitchen sink, as the
odor of 1t. s.ngularly unpleasant one,
is so strong that 1t will pervade the
whole house and produce the suspicion
OF bad drain. The water in which
any vegetable has been boiled should
be thrown out of doors in some remote 0
corner of the garden. When vegetables
which give out odors are being cooked
half a teacupful Of vinegar placed In q
vessel on the back Of the stove will
prevent the fumes from spreading over
the house. A box of lye should be kept
at hand and it is wise every day to
make a solution of this with hot water
and pour 1t down the waste pipe and
into the sink. 1t c!canses thoroughly
and Is a valuable d!sinfectant.
The evening world., 1895-09-18
Enslish Trains the Fastest.

To the Editor.
beg leave. through your paper. to correct
Q misststoment OF facts which has been made by
1.-THE Evening World and all the other New
York newspapers yesterday and to-day with re-
gard to the speed Of railway trains in England
and America. The distance from New York to
Buffalo Is <4l miles. covered in g. 80, or an
average speed of 6JH miles an hour. The dis
tance from London to Aberdeen is $40 miles, COW
cred in 5la minutes average OF 63l4 miles
an hour All stops being included in both cases,
only the English run being the longer. And
again. another mcre equal comparison would he
tbs distance from New York to Albany. l3
miles, covered In l34 minutes. or an average OF
ssis miles an hour; while the distance from
Newcastle to Edinburgh is l24ls miles, covered
In II? minutes, an ACREAGE Of ss,s miles an
hour. Therefore England still holds the record.
emitting. Of course, the dash Of speed that was
made on the Grand Central tracks three years
ago Of one mile in 80 seconds.
C. THOMPSON.
70 Fast One Hundred and Eighteenth street,
The evening world., 1895-09-18
Some New Dances.

To lively little c!tizeness from
Brooklyn Is due the Introduction of the
Brooklyn schottishe, and with her own
nimble feet she has invented a brand
new gay little measure called the
Golfers Polka" because it was first
danced in the golf club-houses at her
!nstigat!on, and has hazards and bunk
ers very difficult for the uninitlated to
overcome. Its cleverness consists in
polking through doorways. over all
manner OF obstacles and actually NJ
and down stairs. But to an earnest
golfer hazards are set for the pure JOY
OF overcoming them, and a polka inva
riably winds up the games held this Au.
tumn at every resort.
The evening world., 1895-09-18
WORIDLINGS.

Fash o. lightning 10 often a mile long.
ArtlnSial ivory 10 made from condensed skim
milk,
Potatoes in Greenland never grow lsrgsr than .
marble.
Prusslan blue pslat 10 made from the sshs,
Of the burnt hoots Of horses.
Two orders are entitled TO the ly: one In
Spain and the other In France.
In 1850 order WAS established q. Clevss
entitled Tho order OF Fools
Mustard used to be eaten whole and dry in
| stead Q: in paste made from mustard -four.
Spruce beer 10 the beverage OF the fishermen
| around Newfoundland. Labrador and the Cult O.
LAArence