davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09
IN FLY TIME.

B-z-z-z-z-zip,
Blest if there amt man in bed yet.
And it's nearly o'clock.
Or else | amt the liveliest fly
In the block.
Oh,
I won't do thing
To you,
Sleeping, are you?
B-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-dZunkgk
Take that.
Why don't you wake up?
You Will turn over,
VIII you?
You just try to go TO sleep again.
Z-z-Zi
That was a corker.
Caught him right in the ear
Say, you were going to swipe me, Ell?
You think you're
Gosh awful smart, don't you?
You just waitI
I'll sit down on the bed post for while
And he'll think I've quit.
And when he's just doing off
Mebbe
won't fool him.
There he goes
Bz-z-z-swat! That's the stuff
Oh, I'll teach you to use
CuSSwordS
Before nice gentlemanly fly!
Amt you aShamed2
Mebby it isn't your time to get UP.
You're going to get up just the same
/ say!
Sayi S-s-s-s-z-z-z-t,
I'll be burned if he amt
Going to sleep again!
O-O-o-h. l just won't
Do-a-thing
This time.
Just wait till | get
My vacuum-producing
Pedal eXtremities
Agains that ugly mug of yours
And clear my voice.
Now then
B-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-
Z-Z-zI
Now will you get up?
Well, L guess yes.
That's betteri
Just stop swearing and mosey
Out of those pajamaS.
That's right,
Why didn't you come to it without max
ing a fuss?
I'll be around tomorrow at
Four a. IN.
And you want to behave better.
See?
What's that? You'll get hy-paper?
Get it,
If you think this fly
Is chump enough to prefer fly paper
To soft thing like you
You're away off!
I'm onto my job, I ami
Ta-tai
Tomorrow at 4. remember!
B-z-z-z!-Chicag Record.
DR.. Prices Cream Baking Powder
Awarded Gold Medal Midwinter Fair. San Francisco.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09
THE MEANEsT MAN ON EARTH.

1t is said that a man who won't buy
a paper because he can borrow one has
invented a machine by which he can
COOK his dinner by the smoke from his
neiShbors chimney. This same fellow
sits in the back pew in church to save
interest on contributions. and is always
wear and tear on his own horselesh.
Yes, you know him. He's first cousin to
the man who never winds up his watch
Tor fear OF breaking I. e spring He IN
who went into the back yard during the
recent cold snap, soaked his hair in
water, let It freeze. and then broke it
OIL in order tC cheat the barber out of
hair cut.-Topeka CAPITAL
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

IT WAS that great Democrat Jeffer-
son who wrote about the necessity of
dissoiving political bonds and of as
suming the separate and equal sta
ton among the powers of the earth to
which nature and natures God en-
titled US, and, mark our prediction, it
will be the Democrats of the present
generation who will write a new
Declaration of Independence dissolv-
ing the financial bonds that connect
rs with England and the continent,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09
WkINLEY KEEPING HIS EYES SHIT

Governor Mckinley is turning out inst
IN me same iItnd of speeches now9and more
@ @dc tnem-that he made before the manu-
tfciI began to raise the wages of
~ EMPLOYEES. II is harder for the
Ia Little Major to change his tune than
1 10 the politicians who are not Iimited
20 20 one one l9ea. with Mckinley it is a ca
Kansas City Star. ~ --l9 i0sl.-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

BRYAN VERY properly said that
patriots should be chiefly anxious to
maintain the parity between the dol
lar and the other kinds of property
rather than to maintain the parity
between two different kinds Of money.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

"PoMPADoUR JIsf' wishes it distinct
" understood that it is the style of
the hair cut and not the approaching
set-to with Fitzsimmons that causes
his hair to stand on end like quilts
upon the fretful porcupine.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

THE ESTEEMED judge is seriously
Handicapped by his lamb-like cold
poiato-or-anything expression; his
chances would be decidedly improved
should he emulate the ColonePs pie
or-nothing air.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09
* rup words Of the toplca! song:

N THE WordS OF the IOpIcdi song:
"Boy wanted, Boy wanted!
Next day that sign appeared above the
door.
Rov wantedi Boy wanted
And Grover doesn't want girls any more.
a girl could never hold his proud posi-
TO nave a boy has been his great ambi-
tion,
So at the break of day
THOSE that CHANGED to go that way,
Saw the sign Boy wanted.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

NEW YORK Sundays are now dry
that is, so far as "drei lager" is con-
cerned, but not IN the case of AIumm's
Extra dry. Does this discrimination
between saloon and club seem quite
right?
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

BY THE way, our offer to compare
the silver records of the Democratic
and Republican parties made at any
time or place is stin open and will
continue open indefinitely.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

FREEDOM or thought and action,
free speech, a free press, free schools,
free trade and free coinage-such is
the doctrine Of an enlightened
Democracy.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

United States can boast of fifty years
standing. The business of DR.. ]. c.
Aver & Co., Lowell, Mass, whose in
comparable Sarsaparilla is known and
used everywhere, has passed its half
centennial and was never SO vigorous
as at present,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09
a NEW RACE OF ROSES.
They Flower Continuously A
Through the Summer,

AhSS lower Continuously All
Through the Summer.
The Gardeners Chronicle calls attention
to new race of roses which have been
introduced by some Paris growers They
belong to the Polyantha group-that is
to say, they bear their flowers in trusses.
The new roses have the advantage over
others of being perpetual" and, conse-
quently, they flower continuously all
through the summer. This advantage they
owe 10 their origin, a natural cross
(croisement natureD. observed in the
Lyons Gardens. between the flowers of
the first specimens of polyantha- intro
duced from Japan and some hybrid per-
petual roses. BY repeated and careful
selection new race of roses has been
produced. which. like ANNALS. terminate.
flower and produce seed in less than a
year; The term dwarf is justified by
the height. which in adult plants is ONLY
about twenty inches. The flowers are
single, semi-double, or double. in almost
equal proportions. and present almost all
the variations of color observed in Guilt
waited roses. Towering commences in the
first year, and even a few months after
sowing. This precocity is one of the
most remarkable and interesting features
Of this new type.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

We OBSERVE disposition on the
part Of the esteemed Tribune to put
bent pins on the place where the Hon.
Charles Carol Crane expects to sit
down
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

WHEN JOHN CHMaIE INGALLS, said
that the climate of Kansas is like "a
mothers caress' he probably had the
step-mother in mind.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

THE CONNECTICUT legislature has
adopted the McTammany voting ma
chine-in exercising his franchise the
Nutmeg citizen will sort of buck the
tiger.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

SENATOR FAIRS widow ought to
hold q free coinage convention-sh
seems to be enthusiastically favorable
to free silver
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09
CURRENT Fun.

What an advantage" she sighed. "a1
educat:on Is, to be sure?"
oil dhe sS was vas, no dandruff on her collar
those subtler evidences Of culture.
She listened until The collegs Shrek o
had reached the bargain counter anC
scored touch down and then she lief
the store.-Detroit Tribune.
she-so you believe your college educa.
ton, complete, now that you have beer
I graduated?
.he-I should say yes! Why. I've wor
SIX medals Tor sprinting, ten diamond
rings for bicycle racing. $1,000 for winning
an amateur prize fight, and got my pic
ture in the Police Gazette for surviving
complete? 1 should say yes!-Syracuse
Post.
Editors gittin' hightored."
q understand he's ordered coat of
arms"
by George! I'll bet he's Iookin' for a
visit from the vigilance committee A t
lanta Constitution.
Wigwag-Whats the matter with Mrs.
Grumpy?
Mrs. WigWa&-Her head troubles her a
good bit.
Neuralgia ,"
NO! Her husband won't buy her new
bonnet. -EnldGelEnla RECORD
Marion-Oh. Laura, don't know what
to do, Fred has promised that he viii
stop drinking if I will marry him, and
Charlie says he'll take to drink if 1 dom t
marry him.-Judy.
''1Ir. Lively" said the managing edi-
tor, wed like to have you draw some
thing comic
Without making reference to the new
woman?"
Yes, sir"
cor The bicycle
Yes, sir"
The artist turned away in silent dejec-
ton. In a few minutes he returned, and
laid a sheet of paper on the desk.
Have you done it so Soon%'
1T didn't take me long to do all
could, under the circumstances"
What is it?''
1--WE drawn up my resignation. Wash
ington Star.
Traveller Gnquring at famous castle)-
Can l see the antiquities today?
Servant-Pm afraid not. sir. My lady
and her daughter have gone out.-London
Fun.
Tramp-Do you know what it is. sir, to
be Stunned by all: TO not have the grasp
of a single friendly hand?
Stranger-Indeed, do. I'm a life insur-
ance agent.-JudSe.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

THEY ARE selling quarter-horse
steaks in the state of Washington.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09
PEOPLE OF PROMINENCE.

4
Rev. Robert Conyer, formerly of Chi
gage, officiated the other day in New
| York at wedding ceremony from which
lie, nIie WCro obey was omitted by COM
mon consent He explained afteTward by
SAVING that women never did obey, des-
pite their promises 1.-The very best
woman in the world promised to obey
me, he said, but she never has,
Rev. John G. Gibson, pastor Of the
emanuel Baptist Church. San Francisco.
Mnere the horrible girl murders took
pace pace not very long ago, addressed a
thronS III a public hall last Sunday night
IN defense of himself against his critics.
En- ny p named Tyndall challenged
i i,,rl ~ seinDlI 10 mesmeric test of mis-
innocence and the pastor refused. Tie
incident created excitement.
The lnfanta Eulalia. of Spain. designs
her own dresses and has a special par
TALLY for blouses, which she buys by
1he dozen, generally in London, as she
does her boots and her tailormade
gowIis: she is particularly fond of
wandering about i'll the rain. hatIess and
umbrellaless. but wearing a msckin-
tosh and hood.
Theodore ,Mommsen. the historian. has
DSeh eecteu Foreign associate of the
french Academy of Inscriptions in
pace OF the late Sir Henry Rawlinson
~ DE was, was elected corresponding member
as long ago as 1866 and would have
Deen elected a foreign associate of the
had It not been for his attitude toward
France after the war Of 1876.
SIR Tatton Skyes, the Yorkshire baro-
net, who is visiting this country. has
name which is known 10 every SPORTS
man IN England and is honored nv ever,
Iyke' IN the world. The famiIy he
represents have always been lovers Of
racing; steeplechasing and hunting. ard
IneV nave made the Doncaster races
E WnaL they are. and the 'Ieger'' the
second race prize of the turf
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

RIGHT on top of that Sunday hurri-
cane Chicago is trying to get the Re-
publican national convention.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

THE CHINESE did more execution in
the United States on the Fourth than
in the japanese war.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

CHICAGO AS d sumner resort ap-
pears to be n, 5sly blow.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

THE EASE with which the Britannia
outsails her suggests that Valkyrie
III is III. What Aflsa?
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

WHEN A gentleman who used to
run an oyster parlor says 'Utah's
mine oyster" he ought to Knowles
had experience.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

SALISBURY SAYS the house of lords
never changes being the same yes
terday, today and forever. Why not?
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

1 KoooRs laugh at the enforcement
of NV Yorks new Sunday law.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

THE Ian who is short in his ac-
counts is generally long on mileage.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

DIR. BUCHANAN took the electric
road. Trolley-lai
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

PROF. GARNER has returned t
Africa to monkey with the apes.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09
IF ANY READER

Is unable at any time to obtain a copy
of The Herald through an under-sup-
ply at any news stand. or from any
railway newsboy, he is requested to
notify the publishers.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

She listened until the collegs shrek of
the WasseE girls announced that they
mad reached the bargain counter and
scored a touch down and then she left
the store.-Detroit Tribune.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

What an advantage" she sighed. IAN
education is, to be sure?"
There was no dandruff on her COLLAR
and she had about her few, indeed of
those subtler evidences Of culture.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

She-SO you believe your college educa-
ton complete, now that you have been
ey1.a n tod
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

he-I should say yesl Why. I've won
six medals for sprinting, ten diamond
an amateur prize fight, and got my pic
ture in the Police Gazette for surviving
twenty foot bah games. My education
complete? 1 should say yes!-Syracuse
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1895-07-09

Editors gittin' hightored."
Il understand he's ordered a coat of
arms"
by George! I'll bet he's lookin' for a
visit from the vigilance committee. At
lanta Constitution.
Arizona republican., 1895-10-18
ARIZONA AGRICULTURIsTs.
Session of the First Irrigation Con-
 vention in Arizona.

This morning at 9:30 commences the two days session of the new Arizona agricultural society, under the aus pices of the University of Arizona agricultural experimental station and the Phoenix chamber of commerce. The opera house has been secured for the purpose.
 Professor Devol, of the University of Arizona, and Secretary Perley, of the chamber of commerce, have been especially energetic in the heavy pre- liminary work that has been in pro- gress for the past month or more and it is believed that the interest aroused will result in large attendance Let ters have been received from points abroad, indicating the attendance of several well-known irrigationists and a thoroughly effective and energetic session is anticipated.
 The programme for this morning includes addresses and discussions by c. W. Grouse, J. M. McMillan, w. s. Johnson and Prof. B. M. Boggs. The afternoon session will be taken up by A. c. Lockwood, Prof. James, w. Tourney, Prof. Wm. Stowe, Devol and P. R. Fully.
 At 7:30 p. m. will be the evening session, when addresses will be made by Governor L. c. Hughes and Presi- dent Howard Billman, of the Univer- sity of Arizona. Music will be an es- pecial feature.
Arizona republican., 1895-10-18
A PECULIAR PICNIC.
Involving a Visit to the Pima and
 Maricopa Indians.

For the three days commencing October 25 Sacaton, the agency sta tion on the MaricOpa and Pima Indian reservation, will have scenes of fes- tivity strange to it's usual copper col ored monotony There will gather in force the clans of temperance to hold carnival. It is to be a picnic to be participated in by the members of the Independent Order of Good Templars, from all parts of the territory and the lodges of the Salt River valley al- ready are beginning to make arrange ments for the excursion.
 Agent J. Roe Young is an ener- getic and valued member of the order. It therefore follows that upon him will depend the duties of host, a task he has undertaken in hearty good will. To add to the general entertain ment he will have present scores of his dusky charges, who in their prim- itive songs and dances, will add some of the most notable numbers of the program. Around the agency, too, are the farms and villages of these in- dustrious and peaceful redskins, and in their inspection many an interest ing hour will be spent by the visitors. It will also be noted that improvement has been agreeable to the Pima and that he now progressively rides in a wagon, uses an American blow, some times builds a house of adobe in white mans style and even wears the clothing of the white man. If all the American aborigines were as teach able and as docile as are the Pimas and Maricopas there would be little use for troops on the frontier.
Arizona republican., 1895-10-18
A HIGH SPEED DEFECTIVE.
Jailor Slankard Develops Unexpected
 Sprinting Ability.

Jailor Charles Slankard, of the county prison, yesterday astonished attaches of the court house by ex- hibiting remarkable sprinting abilities and Charles himself is astonished. He has not gotten out of slow walk for years and he thought he had for gotten how to get hasty move on him.
 It all came about over two hobos who were brought up from Tempe Wednesday night to serve ten day sentences. As they were short term men they were put at work assisting the janitor in the office of the probate court putting in a vault. The couple worked very nicely until the janitor stepped out of the room to get a hammer. He had barely left the room before the hobos dropped their tools and vaulted out of a window to the ground. They did not look behind them, but slunk across the court house plaza intent on liberty.
 Slankard was sitting in a semi somnolent condition in the court be- tween the jail and court house proper, when two flying objects passed within range of his vision. He kicked over his chair and started in pursuit, all though they had block the advan- tage. The hobos, when they reached Jefferson street, slowed down to a walk, but one of them looked back and saw a meteor coming for them with lightning rapidity. Again they
Arizona republican., 1895-10-18

Is now located at Bakersfield, in the employ of the Kern County Land con- pany.
 Charles O. Smith, the Tempe jus tice and terror of evil-doers, was rounding up his Phoenix friends yes terday.
 Frank Baxter yesterday arrived from Agua Caliente with John B. Jones, whom he is taking to the hospi- tai to be treated for rheumatism.
 Mrs. Josephine Wilson, mother-in- law of J. W. Blankenship, and her sister, Mrs. s. L. Roberts, of Big Springs, Texas, are visiting their rela- tives.
 Superintendent Flint of the railway mail service, left last night over the Southern Pacific for San Francisco. He has been absent on his tour about five weeks.
 Governor L. c. Hughes is in the city as escort to Mrs. Hughes, who comes to make a short visit with friends in Phoenix. They will return Saturday night to Tucson.
 The Commercial hotel arrivals yes terday were: Arthur M Brown, San Francisco; T. H. Sutton, Los Angeles Don Tarleton, Iowa; Jas. Gilman, All hambra, Cal; W. Howe, R. B. Wells w. A. Drake, Geo. w. Sargent and Samuel Flint, Prescott.
 Mrs. Carrigan, wife of Conductor Tom Carrigan, of the Santa Fe, is in the city for a stay of several days to show the sights of central Arizona to her guest, Mrs. T. A. Sullivan, ot Peoria, H., sister of MT. Carrigan It is Mrs. Sullivan's first visit to the southwest.
Arizona republican., 1895-10-18
 NEWS IN A NUTSHELL. Happenings of Streets and Town. Epitome of the City'S Local
 Intelligence. The Doings of a Day in Phoenix and
 It's Tributary
 Region.

The only case heard yesterday ln the district court as the arguing of the mining case of Court vs. Hine. The arguments have been concluded and the case submitted.
 A well known collector stated yester- day that business for October is fully four times as good as that in August and that collections have never been easier than at the present time.
 The Populists held meeting at the office of the Arizona Populist last evening. Buckley O'Neil addressed the meeting and ways aud means were considered for future action.
 Manager Goldberg, of the Phoenix base ball club, was yesterday making arrangements with the Tempe club to play a game Sunday at the Phoenix park. It is thought the south siders will accept the challenge.
 There are decided improvements in progress round the Commercial hotel. Landlord Luhrs is adding to the rear of the McNeil company's quarters a large brick room, the upper porches have been extended northward and the paint brush has not been idle.
 At the present time there are forty two prisoners confined in the county jail, of which number two are females. The coming term of court and session of the grand jury will materially les sen the number, as the majority of the inmates are waiting for that body to meet.
 The following transactions of real estate, reported by Coggins & Brown, abstractors, were yesterday entered for record: Lulu Cleminson to Mrs. Annie B. Gray, one-fifteenth interest in following tracts: n1a, block IT, Grand Avenue addition; lots 1, 2, 8, 4, block 14, Central place; e1a of n1a of sell, sec 25, tp n, r l e, and Califor- nia property, $333.35.
 The vigilance of the city officers has put a stop to the large influx of our. usual winter tourists, the hobos It has now been several days since any have been brought to the recorder It is a fact that the only losers by the falling off of travel of this class is the recorder and the reporters The re- corder loses a possible fee and the re- porter an item, but for the benefit of the city the loss is borne without great sorrow.
 Hugh Molloy was yesterday sen- fenced to several days in the city dun geon by Recorder Jobs. Molloy was ar rested Wednesday by Blankenship for drunk and disorderly conduct He called at Partnerships house during his absence and attempted to force an entrance in the front door, but Mrs. Blankenship locked the door on him. The intruder then attempted to force an entrance in side door, but met with similar resistance. Finding he could not gain an entrance he came up town, where he was found by Mr. Blankenship short while after. Billy first gave his man general shak- ing up, then hauled him off to jail.
Arizona republican., 1895-10-18

Now that the seacoast excursion season is over all who are bound to go somewhere, including, of course, everybody else, can avail themselves of the opportunity offered by the cleo tric street railway of taking excur- sions through the beautiful Churchill and Brill additions. The trip is worth many times the fare to both tran sients and residenters.
Arizona republican., 1895-10-18

cut and run, but few more bounds and Slankard had them by the coat collars.
 They were taken back to jail, where shackles were placed on their legs, and for further punishment they were consigned to the dark cell, where for the balance of their sentence they will be fed on bread and water.
Arizona republican., 1895-10-18

There is in Phoenix an exception to the rule that a prophet is not without renown save in his own country. One reads in the morning papers of strang- CTS being in town and when he goes to lunch he finds them at Murray's cafe and likewise every meal during their stay. Murray's is rapidly becom- ing the Delmonico of the southwest.