The Wilmington daily Republican., 1895-10-04
THAT s1ove.
wissiesworth Thought Hs knew Now -
Set It Up.


but he was too busy today"
"what you want to rush into expense like
that forf' demanded Mr. Wigglesworth
virtuously. "Ain't they crowd enough OF
us, I'd like to know, to set up an 80 pound
stove without paying a man % to como
and leave an impression Of his smutty
hand on the parior paperf"
"But it amt blscked," F" said Mrs. Wig
ellsworth.
"well, why amt itG'' said Mr.. wiggIes-
worth. whats that hired girl doing, I'd
like to ask, that she can't find time to
smear little blacking around whero it's
peededf Been putting full library bind
Ing ON one of those flreproof pies, s'pose,
or arranging loaf of her impervious
cake. Where is that stoves"
He charged out into the shed, where the
stove was discovered, after considerable
search, buried under wealth Of debris
such as the North American shed knows
so well how to accumulate.
"You're a dandy housekeeper, aim youf'
growled Mr.. Wigglesworth as he fought
his way toward the stove, while his wife
always have things handy, you dol
Hints on Housekeeping, by Mrs. Wig
ellsworth, in two volumes, with full
glossary and key. Specially recommended
for young people who have their own
house and want 10 keep 1t themselves.
That's what you are"
To this sort Of running accompaniment
Mr.. Wigglcswofth snatched his way
through the debris, pausing now and then,
when he encountered an ambushed nail,
to put his fingers into his mouth and Inn
parting thereby weird tone to the howl
that he gave vent to.
"Who nailed the thing downf" no an
grily called as he finally got In where his
hands could grip the stove. He was bent
over in the most painful manner, which
afforded him but little breath to spare
Everybody knows how mad that makes
man.
"I think" Mrs. wigglesworth timidly
ventured, "that It's heavier than you
thought"
"oh, yes," growlcd Mr.. wigglesworth,
you're a great thinker, you are. You're
the woman that stands around on one foot
thinking up things for the poor. I've
read about you In the literary reviews.
Thoughts That Mrs. Wigglesworth Has
Thought Off Particularly designed for
people who have to have their thinking
done elsewherei All you want to do is to
get Mr., Gladstone to read one of your
books and your fortunes made. Why
don't you come and catch hold heref" he
yelled.
"Mercyl" calculated Mrs. wieglcsworth,
startled from her perch by the intensity OF
her husbands command. II didn't know
you wanted me to helpf'
"Whats the reason you didn't" returned
Mr.. wigglesworth. "Think I've got tho
only back in tho family that needs break
ing2 Want me to pull my arms out to
double length, don't you, SOS you can uso
me to feel around on the top shelves of
closets and find thingsP That's what you
want"
"It's-it's awful heavy" complained
Mrs. Wigglesworth as she bent over and
fastened her grasp on the iron edge.
"Poh" shifted her husband. "There you
go first thing, finding fault. Why don't you
lift and not stop to growl SO muchf"
The setting sun, looking negligently in
at the cobwebbed window, impaired an al
most unearthly radiance to the distorted
oountenance of Mr.. Wigglesworth as he
strained at the refractory stove and SO set
q noble example to his wife, which that
worthy woman SO ably emulated as to
burst both back seams of her waist.
where's that hired girlf'' snarled Mr..
Wigglesworth, pausing to wipe his face
and SO ornamenting himself with some ar
tistio smooohes of SCOT. "What you got her
concealed for Just the time we need her
mostp Thinks she's too good to lift on a
parlor stove pro'bly. Has to save her
strength for the dance tomorrow night"
Mrs. Wigglesworth called the girl, who
came out wiplng her hands on the cup
towel.
Here" directed Mr.. wigglesworth,
"you two women take hold Of the top,
- L.. 4
Whether the hired girl possessed n
strength hitherto undreamed Of or the oar
lier efforts had disengaged the numbering
kindlings and other impedimenta from
about the stove legs, 1t remains fact that
the very first boost sent the whole process
sion careering rockily across the shed floor,
the stove surging and toppling and Mr..
Wigglesworth s. vortebra sending forth u
ereaking noise that was ominous.
Put 1t down." he grunted as loud as
his bcnt position would admit. "What you
trying to do anyway" he clustered as he
Strengthened up and glared at his assist
ants. "Want to snap me in twof"
st seemed to come ITSELF" painted Mrs
Wigglesworth looking at the stove.
Course it did" retorted Mr.. Wiggles-
worth scornfully. Leave It alone, and it
would waltz clean into the parlor pro bly,,
stick its pipe in the chimney and go to
smoking. Great stove, thatl'' he added
and then stopped few minutes to grin
over the unexpected Joke he'd made.
NOW ketch hold again. he ordered,
and this time he took the lighter end him
self, while Mrs. wigglesworth and Inlo-
gene tugged with freshened zeal at the op-
pesite extremity.
Across the cluttered shed floor they went
slowly shuffiing, their heels occasionally
catching against things and threatening
disaster, while Mrs. Wigglesworth, whose
tender hands were laoerated, dropped hot
tears from her bulging eyes and OCCASION
ally hoisted up sob.
What you bellering ats'' puffed Mr.. Wig
ellsworth testify. "Don't you know any
better than to cry all over cast iron stove
and rust? Great household economizor,
you aref'
Then they came to the step that rises
from the shed to the kitchen door, and Mr.
Wigglesworth, by virtue of bearing the
lighter end, essayed to take this backward
Careful, nowp' he shouted as the hired
girl, in proof that she was not exhausted,
gave an energetic shove. You amt
washing dishes this time. Be little
easierln
Then he stepped gingerly upward, and
his female ooadjutors trailed afterward.
Lift Why don't you liftg, he shouted
as tho effort Of stepping upward eommu-
nicated unexpected weight to his burden.
"Think I'm going to do all-wowi'
The concluding remark was forced out
of him suddenly, as the bung leaves u
fermented beer keg, by the unexpected en-
thusiasIn Of the hired girl, who, giving o
shoulder, grandly sent the stove full into
Mr.. Wigglesworth'S stomach and pinned
that gentleman against the Kitchen door
just as the woman who lives across the
Reecharn-s nils are for