Iron County register., 1895-05-09
A DOMESTIC HITCH.

"A meeting OF the Woman's Literary
ciuo was to be held, but Mrs. Upjohn
declared she wouldn't go, as her domes-
TIC arrangements were greatly upset.
1t was Bridget's regular night out.
however. Mr.. Upjohn insisted that she
should not miss the meeting.
But wouldn't go off and leave you
alone with the children"
why not, should like to know?
they'll both be asleep"
Yes, but Janet is SO little. She
might wake up and want something,
what If she did? Couldn't give it
TO her? believe have feet and 1 be-
Aese nave hands as well as you.
wish You women wouldn't act as
though you were the only ones in the
family that know anything"
Mrs. UPjohn smiled sagely, but at
eight o'clock she put on her wraps and
went of in cab. Not long after her
departure a small voice cried Mann
maj! In an instant Mr.. Upjohn pre-
'sented himself at Janet's bedside, smil-
ing with paternal benignity.
What is it, little girl?"
want mamma"
Wont papa do?'
''No"
As SCos hC WILL. Leu papa W0dC
you want. dear"
want mamma"
Hes, yes-but what is the matter?
Would You like a drink?"
81 want mamma
Don't you say that again. You
can't have your mother"
Copious weeping follows this re.
mark.
Here, take nice drink of water"
Moo"
"A cracker, then. Here is a beauti
full cracker for little Janet"
Moo"
Does Janet want her dolly? Poor
Josephiner'
Moo"
"Oh. papa knows Janet wants
some candy. Here's great. big, lovely
piece of candy to pop right in Janet's
little mouthy."
Moo"
''Well, what in Halifax do you want,
fhen?"
Mamma"
Il told you once you couldn't have
her. How can / keep her at home?
She's always chasing off somewhere
just when she's wanted"
I've got pa1n-oh-oo-oo."
Mr.. Upjohn brightens. ''Oh. that is
it, is it? Very well. Now have some
thing definite to work on, I'm all right
Here, let papa rub the poor little stom-
ach. Is that better? Is the pain bet
ter now, little girly?'
Moo"
The excited parent begins pacing the
floor in helpless agitation.
'Of course, complicated thing like
this has to happen when Florence is
away. l could give her a drink of
water, or anything rational. as we'll as
her mother, but l don't pretend to be
a house physician-a specialist. Oh.
know! Where can that book be that
Florence has about children's COM
piaints?"
He rushes into the nursery and be-
gins looking about in the most unlikely
places, upsetting everything within
range, while Janet's cries grow louder.
Finally, little red volume. entitled
Nursery Hints" is discovered in plain
sight on the table. Let me see! Let
me-see! Oh, here it is: Collie: Apply
hot plate to the agitated part"
Down to the basement Mr.. Upjohn
few. He hastily snatched a delicate
Limoges breakfast-platef from the china
closet and threw it on the Goals in the
kitchen range. When it began to crack,
As it soon did. in every direction. he
concluded that it was hot enough.
Then he carried it upstairs on the fire.
shovel and deposited it without loss of
time on the tenderest portion of Janet's
anatomy. The shrieks are redoubled
in vigor. The paternal remedy is
pushed hastily away and slides to the
the front door. Her husband snatches
the Limoges plate from the floor and
hides it under pile of linen in his bu-
reau drawer. Florence anxious face
appears in the doorway.
There, knew something would go
wrong. 1 couldn't make myself stay.
What is the matter?
Nothing-nothing at all. Only that
.child's got a stomach-ache."
Leave her to me. Jack. You go back
to your paper"
After a few minutes Mrs Upjohn
tears down to her husband in a tremor
of fright. Jack" she whispers, Il
don't want Janet to hear-she mustn't
know we are alarmed--but there's a
red spot on her poor little stomach as
large ASA breakfast plate"
Mr. Upjohn gives low whistle. His
wife goes on:
1T must be some new kind of dis
ease. Run for q doctor as fast as ever
you can"
Mr. Upjohn looks down at the floor.
s.May ybe-perhaps-dont you suppose
she might have got scorched little
some way?"
.'How could she possibly get
.scorched?"
That's so. How could she? The best
thing for me to do is to rush for the
~doctor."-TrNth.
Three PoisonS In Tobacco.
Nicotine is not, as used to be sup
posed, the most dangerous principle