New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1895-01-19


Al the Theatre waggs-HOw gloomy that cur
Gaggs-Wait Till you have seen the play ana 20"
Will think the curtain the brightest thing IN the
house.
said the man With TIA, the mere D
air ar. a free dlspensary in this town g..
lie was told there was. and directed where to hnd
Very d!sgusted look on his face.
Il the Joke air on me ne is sa'd or WIZ dis
pemsary that ole Tnan mad down in Carliny."
Cincinnati Tribune
The Electrical World' tells this story: "A team
pulling a loaded farmers wagon the way TO the
Wallabout market slowly along the car tracks
In Broadway. Brooklyn, the other night. The
driver was asleep. A came up behind the wagon
The motorman pounded the gong vigorously The
team turned Of the tracks. while the driver kept
on slumbering When the passed the team
turned TO the tracks You can that every
night said a policeman. The just
intelligent as the driver himself When the
farmer reaches Broadway. and he knows he has an
intelligent team. he feels safe and goes 10 sleep
The horses know the ring OF the trolley cars. and
know just what IT means
As swiftly Ger the ice they few
As snow Wakes whlrL
Win no one nigh what could he 90.
He Rugged the girl
Inconstant mani \ crash, crack
\ distant
Proclaimed a thaw. and then. Glack
lie husged the shore.
The rolyglo, petition. signed by fifty national-
ties or thereabouts In forty different languages
and including with names and attestatons not
fewer than four million adherents. is TO be pre-
scented in Washington by the officers OF the Worlds
| Womans Christian Temperance Union and other
leading women on February Is. Among the speak
ers will be Lady Henry Somerset. Miss Willard
| Mrs Stevens OF Maine: Mrs. Stevenson, Mrs.
Barker Mrs Fessenden Mrs Hoffman. and Miss
| Belle Kearney OF Mississippi The petition VIII
! be presented TO representatives. OF the United
| States Government. 1t is deemed important that
| this should be done before the third Worlds Wom-
| ans Christian Temperance Union as on that oc-
ca sion the petition Will be presented TO the British
| Government The petition calls for the separation
! % all Governments from the protection OF the
alcohol trade the opium trade and the legalizing
o, social vice.
! safe from Ordinary Maladies.-"You'i better go
woman at the Kitchen door. .,..,<
Madam. replied The tramp. seating himself on
the step with great dcllberaion. the only disease
am afraid Of is appendicitis shall be Obliged t.,
give me any cherry pie '-Chcago Tribune
A Philadelphia barber who has become con-
vert to The germ theory OF disease has discharged
the bootback and coat-brusher connected with
his shop. and refuses even 10 keep brush on
hand for the individual use OF his customers who
may shine their shoes dust their coats.
| He holds that the doctors right, and that
! the germs OF consumption and other diseases are
plenty that they settle on every particle OF the
/ human wearing apparel: and he is not going TO
! have any brushing going about his place that
will disturb disease germs and send them hunting
| for place down his throat. where they can
do more damage than on clothing.
Darling" he sobbed Il am discouraged. Ny
first story is accepted by the first publisher TO
His devoted wife srove to be calm
Herbert" she said. Il am certain you will yet
Such sublime faith could not fail to comfort him.
detroit News-Tribune
"Ot course" says a travelling evangelist. Il get
Il good deal of advice from the local brethren. But
IL down in Georgia that | got the Queerest
| pointer. II may use the expression. | had
scarcely registered the little hotel and brushed
the dust OF travel from my clothes when the chet
deacon called on me. 4 suppose. brother. ne
! said that voc toe preach the howery path
toe destruction and the narrer way 10 the blessed
land, and all the hard times 1t is gittn' there.
don't YEP | answered that II was likely that !
might expand a little In that line Wal he said.
4 want toe tell you right now that II won't do AZ
all. These here fellers round here is so doggohe
lazy that they'll jist simply take the easy road
| Understand? "
Among the passengers Bryn Mawr accom-,
mediation train sb few days ago n wsS se very
there was no room beside her for any one s wss
hearing s" HaSerford station she leaned over and
tapped the shoulder OF a young man In front OF
her Pardon me- young man sh she. saiai ysr
| you tell me what the next station is tiaNets
| FORD ma am" well. young man. she contIn,ueyS,
when get there will you help me on the tram
| The young man expressed his wllnngness 70 ,, ~
her that service. but he looked so surprised tha
the old lady FASTENED to make an explanation.
wouldn't ask your assistance young man. she and
but ! tried to get OFF two stations back ano
| couldn't You stout tnat nave "
| get down the platform steps backward. The con-
ductor me. unfortunately. and thnk'ng arI ="
| my position, that was just boarding the train' ~
helped me on again."-( philadelphia Record.