The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-04-15
A SYMPOSIUM on SERMONS.
For Those Who Write Them as Well
rs Those Whc Listen.

From the Chicago Times-Herald.
"wh do you do during the Sermon
Il listen" replied the woman in mourn
ing. provided it is upon the word Of God
And I listen" said the woman in the
tailor-made suit. aggressively, when it
is on topics of live interest-social reform.
or temperance, or Ibsen."
II try to listen" the school teacher has
tily interposed, in the interests Of peace,
but / confess my mind wanders. Some
thing the preacher says suggests tram
of thought different from the one ne IS
pursuing. ] preach myself a dozen little
sermons from this text. Oliyef W ehdell
Holmes compares that kind Of mental
excursion to the flight Of two birds, one
keeping straight onward, the other cir
cling and wheeling about, but stiil con-
tinuing in the same direction
well, listen, too" said the newspaper
woman, but In an attitude OF criticism
that has grown upon me through nearing
much bad oratory. / mentally condense
and rearrange; cut out the hackneyed
phrases and the adjectives, particularly
grand. noble and true Our minister
uses those ad nauseam. He speaks with
out notes, and consequently repeats him
self good deal; also the end OF a sentence
doesn't always mt the beginning also ne
employs a good deal of cheap rhetoric. 1t
is not in the hour of grief, he VIII say,
1T is not in the time of sorrow, II IS not
in the vigils of anguish, il Is not when the
heart is breaking, II is not when the eyes
are straining-' You all know that kind
of stuff In my mind / run the blue pen
ell through II. / edit it. so to speak.
you attend DR.. NetherbyS church,
don't your asked the woman in mourn
ing "Oh. how can you speak so OF him?
HIS sermons have been the greatest COM
fort to me.
There. you see. Lola" spoke up the
frivolous one, "as Jack would say. one
mans meat is another man, poison.
"And another soporific. | notice your
husband slumbers beautifully throughout
the discourse -
have seen the story about Mr.. and Mrs.
Gladstone at Cannes. They were sitting
near the pulpit, but when the sermon be
gan Mr.. Gladstone turned to his wife and
mind, my dear replied that excellent
woman in a whisper loud enough to
reach the pulpit. never mind; go to sleep.
II win do ytogu much more good 1 never
NO; you study the bonnets and plan
changes in your gowns"
That is better than leaving church
when the sermon begins, as Maud does.
There is tempting side door close TO
our pew. l know that from your consplc-
uous place in the center aisle you al
ways envy me when / slip out unnoticed."
''Unnobcel Lay not that dattering
JUNCTION to your soul. The minister's eagle
eye is on you every Sunday"
well, anyhow, l go to church to wor-
ship l take part in prayer and praise.
listen to reading of what l believe to be
the word of God. Why must l stay when
l don't want to and listen to the word for
man.
"simply out of good manners, dear"
But the good manners are all on one
side. If the minister really has eagle
eyes, he might see that he is boring peo-
pie and not keep their politeness on the
strain for forty minutes"
He never bores me- said the woman in
mourning, stoutly; still, think short
er sermon would do as much good"
Ten minutes is ample" affirmed the
newspaper woman.
plenty" murmured the teacher
Il would be willing to stay through
that" argued the heroine Of the side door
MY husband might keep awake and
my little boy might not say he was
'home-sick,' " laughed the frivolous one
And then the meeting broke up.