The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-04-16
CONVERSATION Axo MONoLoern.
The Art OF Listening a Rare as the
Gift of Good Talking.


Rev. H. r. Haweis in New York indie
pendent.
Human talk is of two kinds-coneersa-
ton and monologue. You may be excellent
as monologIst. and very poor at CONVEX
satioa; you may be capital az conversation
and repartee. but quite incapable Of a sus-
tanned effort. The difference between a
talker and a converse tonalist Is some
thing analogous to the distinction between
a fine-set orator and brisk debate Some
of the finest orators have been but poor
debaters. What would become of some
most eloquent sermons were the preacher
obliged to conduct debate over his own
rhetoric at the end? / shudder to think
Few clergymen, but most barristers. are
good at debate
But whether you monologue or converse.
one thing is Indispensable sympathetic.
receptive, harmonious. or excited and
emotional atmosphere. The most valuable
remarks are a little impertinent when they
are not wanted. He who has not the ear
of his audience may dispense his wit and
wisdom il vain. lie who would be lis
tened TO best must choose or create the
psychological moment. The charm OF all
social Intercourse is its spontaneity; but
the besetting snare Of chartered takers
and the cid-fashioned anecdOust is the
tendency to lead UP to their stories, and
pave the way for their opportunities.
1 can tell five minutes before II comes
off where JoWles means to let Off that an
ecdote about the foreigner, which ends as
we all know, with Milo friendo,' said l.
for / had learned little Italian, 'come-o-
TO yO-o along-o with me to the porto
and I took him by the scrun of the neck
and kicked him down stairs
If you have not heard the story before
Il is rather funny; but to see II looming
in the distance-J owles monosyllabic and
distract his eye wandering when you talk.
only waiting to cut In and get the atten-
ito of the company off you. who hap
pened to be quite entertaining about Chi
cago and Steads book-bahl II is nauseat-
ingi Can't the fellow carry his stale
trash elsewhere, and let you have an inn
ing?
This leads me to observe that the gift
of listening well is almost as rare as the
gift of good talking / listen TO Smithers'
story about the cockroaches in the cabin,
because / want him to pay respectful at
tentiOn TO my tale of the snake in the
wardrobe, and may reasonably hope that
my (apparenD attention to his yarn will
be the measure of his attention to mine.
i regret to say that this is not always
the case; for there are people who, If they
can only discharge themselves Of their
own trumpery wares, Will, in the most
cynical manner, decline even to affect an
interest in the most valuable information
you may have to offer. But this only
proves that although you have displayed
pohteness without sympathy, they are In
OF course, we all know that there is a
great deal of polite sO-called hypocricy in
society that Miss EitzgibbOn, who re-
ceives you at the door at her "at home
is not really excited with the little speech
about the azaleas in the hall, which you
made up as You assembled the staircase. She
is looking over the banisters to see wheth-
er Maj. McShaughter is there aad while
she shippers 10 you, her reslear Is open to
a stray remarE just inside The door about
the same major, let drop by that odious
firt-the little grass widow from HYDRA
bad, you know.
Well, if things were always what they
seemed-or, rather, If people seemed al
ways what they were and said always
what they felt-it would be a sad, mad
world, hardly possible to live in
In the judgment of charity. while wish
ing the world better until that time ar
rives let us make allowances for those
who "affect a virtue If they have it not -
tbs a kind of back-handed tribute to the
worth Of virtue, anyhow. and il our words
and looks are at times fairer than our
souls, tbs a, sort of faint aspiration in its
way, at least something to live up to-
thought agreeable in society, you must
often be willing to listen to things you
know very well and have often heard be-
fore" Nothing marks the ill-bred man
more than thistle habit Of cutting n,fin-
ishing up peoples sentences for them. talk
ing through them or talking them down.
These are all low-bred forms Of self-asser-
ton to which the natural man is prone.
but which must be educated out of the
person who wishes to be agreeable and
sought after