The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1895-05-25

corder with tho intention of making 1t q
rival Of THE KICKER; but alas, he doesn't
know one end of gun from the other and
is too weak in the back for rough anu
tumble fighter Whenever he has pub
lished a spicy paragraph during the past
six months, some one has called at the Of
flee and wiped the floor with him and
made him feel that life was not worth the
living. He was expecting two or three
callers when we got over there, and 1t
didn't take much coaxing on our part to
induce him to stand back and let us take
Il seat at his editorial table. In fact, he
had gone home and gone to bed, and we
were running things, when big dutfer of
n teamster struck the office to lick the cd
itor for publishing an item to the effect
that spotted horses were going ont of style
and had suffered drop in prices. The
duffcr didn't want to argue the matter or
demand rctraction. He was boiling over
to lick somebody, and he was no sooner
inside the office than he made dive for
us He picked up IA hot iron from the very
start We had him on his back and thor
Oughly licked in less than five minutes,
and we had no sooner let him up than he
subscribed for three copies of The Record
or and paid in advance.
Ne niltl only got our StCblu WIN NlitI
in came citizen of the town to lick
Brother Babcock for saying there were too
many saloons in the place. He didn't
know one editors back from another, but
when we wheeled on him and proceeded to
bump and bang tho breath out of his car
cass such look Of amazemont stole into
his face that we thought he was preparing
to drop dead. In the course of five hours.
inh oil 10,
that day, four different individuals came
In to make Brother Babcock get down on
his marrow bones and plead for mercy and
be mopped over the floor. There were four
separate and distinct surprise parties, and
in each case We came out on top and SO.
cured cash in advance subscribers for The
| Recorder We smashed two kunckles on
our right hand, but the pain and annoy
nncc were more than offset by seeing the
radical improvement wrought in Brother
| Babcock. When he came over and learned
what we had done, he was a new man.
| We put him up to trick or two in the
| manly art, and before leaving had the sat
isfaction of seeing him wallop the propri
etor of n poker room who had called to
stop his paper and punch the editors
| head. We believe The Recorder man has
passed the Rubioon and will be all o. X.
from this time on, but some day next
week we shall ride over again and give
| him a few boxing lessons and teach him
| the use of revolver. We will willingly
do ms much for any other editor within 80
miles of us. We have always held that an
editor should be on top, and though we
| have had to knuckle on several occasions
our average is way ahead of the game.
| POSTAL MATTERS. The Lone Tree Her
aid, which, by the way, is very good
weekly newspaper for one run by red.
headed, cross eyed man, was pleased to
say last week that the editor of THE
KICKER was still hankering to be post
master of this town. We acknowledge the
corn Tho only thing we have reached out
for and failed to get since we struck Ari-
Zona is postOilice. When we had THE
KICKER on paying basis and had been
elected mayor of the town, territorial SEN
ator, president of the Publishers associa-
ton and several other things, we grabbed
for the postotlice. The present incumbent
is a mean man from the ground up. He
is not in sympathy with any party or any
! human being except himself. II he can
find one single man in this town who does
not hate him for skunk, we'll forfeit
|
was our firm belief that we could boost
him out in week, but after two long
years he still sticks. 1t is one of the mys-
teries of politics. We have licked him on
tho street and shot at him through the
general delivery window. We have sought
to buy him off, and we have sent three
different petitions to Washington praying
for his removal and our appointment
We frankly admit that we have left nc
stone unturned in our efforts to handle
Uncle Sans mail in this locality, but W,
are no nearer the zenith Of our hopes thar
when we began. While confessing to dc
feat and disappointment we are trying tC
be philosopher about 1t. Even possibilities
come TO him who waits. In the course Of
time this plum will fall into our hands, a!
other plums have done, and realizing THU
we have contracted to build an addition t.
THE KICKER Office to be used as postof
fee Nothing is too good for an editor
and the editor who Is not constantly reach
ing out aftor the fat things of life deserves
to end his days in the poorhouse,
NJ. QUAD.