The Wadsworth dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1892-1899, 1895-07-13
U. AND l.

A mar may be President and not yei
be the father OF a boy.
Love listens to flattery. friendship is
never given the opportunity.
"Are you a ball crank Mr.. Fitzger-
ald?" 81 WAS afflicted with an acuL,
attack of spheromania last Summer but
| have heard of a game that was played
at st. Clair recently, all!
my child" said the mother to her
married daughter, "a man is like all
egg. Keep him in hot water a little
while and he may boil soft, but keep
him there too long and ne hard4 rs. >
Elk.
The untuneful Tyres who haunt the
corner are responsible for this: A
squaw asked Ike Lothrop for work and
he gave her a note to Ed Short. 1t
read: Dear Ed.-"The bearer wants
washing Very soon the answer cane
back: Dear ~Ike.-"She looks like it,
but l don't fancy the job"
The wife of a local expert at the Sc
ductive but slightly uncertain game OF
draw poker, stated to her worse half,
who was nodding in IA rocker the other
evening, that she was going to make a
call. ''Three skies !" was the dreamy
response of the husband, as he made q
raking movement for the middle OF the
table.
Mr.. Bower and Miss Bowersox, OF
Eugene, were married recently. The
young lady simply took off her sou and
the ceremony was over, says the On
tario News. The Nugget man remarks
And it was time. When a young lady
lives IL or 20 years without changing
her sox, we think it is carrying matters
to extremes.
Young Eckles, the controller, say-
the government cannot make a 80
tChb dOildI 4 IN tCilbb O1 INEioIh
tion." Judge Mcdonnell of Chicago,
in reply said; A government that can
make a statesman out of brass, should
have no trouble in making a dollar OF
silver" Mr.. Eckles has taken the
Judges remarks az personal.
When Mr.. Lonesome Appleblossoms
trusts any more beautiful bouquets to
the stage driver for delivery fifty miles
away we hope he will see the Jeh,i safe.
~ past the DrsPAToH office. Not thai
we did moi appreciate the bouquet lei,
here last Wednesday morning, but ii
hurt our vanity to find that it was not
intended for us and we feel sorry for the
damsel who will get a bunch of withered
flowers today instead of the fresh and
fragrant blossoms she should have r.. :
ceiyed Wednesday. 1t pains US to thif K
oil the dead cold frost that will gre,t
Appleblossoms when he sees her again .
The stagedriver should take out an ac-
cident policy.
A horse tells how to treat a man in
the following language: When a man
drops from sheer exhaustion or illness
promptly seize an end board or cart
stake, and pound him on the head or
ribs. If this does not ~recuperate him,
kick him violently in the belly. This
treatment will restore him if persistent
ly administered. If man finds his load
too heavy and feels that it will strain
him, kick off a fence board and knock
him down-and hammer him thorough
~ with the board. This will give him
renewed energy and he will make no
more fuss. But do not on any account,
tighten the load that would look too
much like common sense. If a man re-
fuses to drink when you offer him water,
don't give him any more for two days.
That will teach him.-Ex.
A DISPATCH reporter was one Of II jolly
crowd who spent Il pleasant evening at
w. II. A. Pixies Thursday. The news
paperman dotes on occasions when he
has a bountiful supply OF cake, freezers
Of ice cream and Trilby pie. Desiring
to pose very gracefully in careless aban-
don before sweet girl VIZ Topped on a
lawn well soaked with cold water from
the beautiful Truckee and wished men
wore boomers instead OF summer trou-
sers. We have always been in favor of
damming the Truckee; we will continue
the policy. In the meantime We caution
our male friends to beware of that silver
sheen which shines in the moonlight.
1t is a delusion and a snare. We believer