The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1895-10-06
TIE ANSWER.

THE ANSWER.
the following interstate correspondence
passed between the gcntlemanly proprie-
tors CT rival magnetic mud springs, and
by suppressing the names | am permit
ted to print them, to show how two
great healers may be called upon to heel
themselves:
EARLY RISING MUD SPRINGS,
% MINERAL FOUNTAINS.
All Different,
Saline, Aphrodisiac, Sulphurous.
Chaybcatc, Alkaline,
Lithia.
ELI, Mo, Sept A.
Mr.. Archie Magruder, Clay Bank Min
oral Springs, Ind. /:
DEAR SIR congratulate you folks
heartily on the proprietorship Of the
Clay Bank Mineral Springs am sure
it is an excellent institution, but are you
not Il little reckless in claiming that you
possess the only magnetic mineral mud
Ill the country? l possess tho same kind
of commodity here and claim priority
OF discovery, and Of course superiority
of mud, all of which am prepared to
prove to your candid satisfaction if Won
will givcan opportunity. Can't you run
over here some Saturday night and in
yestigatc for yourself: Truly yours,
T. b. NUDGE
Then follows the hospitable note be-
low, which, us one may see, brcathes Il
spirit of childlike humility and modcsty
Of the wayside violet style, peculiar to
magnetic mud promoters and press
agents for three ring circus and con
grcsS OF wild beasts without sin:
CLAY BANK MINERAL SPRINGS, Ind.
Sept. s.
e. d. Nudge, p Mineral Fountains, All
Different, Early Rising Mud Springs,
Eli, Mo-:
DEAR SIR have your letter of Sept
a. Certainly, claim priority right to tho
Magnetic Mineral Mud Baths.
wouldn't be ut all backward if l wero
you. You already claim that in Il space
OF 30 or 40 acres you have 81 mineral
fountains, all different. That's the way
to talk to the unsophisticatod American
public, but if you had just gone an inch
or two farther you could very easily
have set up the claim that your springs
We're situated in the limits of the great
city of Chicago and that the property
was very valuable and rapidly selling mt
500 front foot.
Some four or five years ago the writer
personally inspected your outfit, includ-
ing the "a mineral fountains, all diff
fercnt, with a view to purchase. He
didn't buy. That tells tho story
1t is one thing To claim priority rights,
especially III connection with the mag
netic mineral mud, which we say can
only be found 1T the Clay Bank Mineral
Springs, and we have only one spring
here, and wc have only one magnetic
mineral mud, and it is black Prob
ably if yOn dig around u little You
can get red, white and blue mud
The Lord only knows what is under the
surface of the earth, and it has been the
writer's experience that thorc are n lot
OF funny things on top of it, and your
combination OF - IMMORAL fountains,
all different, is about the funniest thing
he has struck in u long time, except
Yourself, of course.
| note your invitation 20 come over
some Saturday night, and thank you.
Ply the way, if yen ever happen to he
travelling this way III the daytime,
say early III the morning, any day in
the week Sundays included, come in
and SEQ us, and | Will entertain You
with magnetic mineral mud bath, etc
After we get through with you, if you
cannot get over the ground for two or
three hundred miles by walking OH ono
leg without. having any uSo for the 9th
er, then lwlll say our magnetic mineral
mud baths are no good, and You will DO
entitled to the priority rights to the
magnetic mineral mud and all that goes
with it, to say nothing of the ~ min
eraJ fountains, all different Yours
very truly, ARCHIE MAGRuDER.
Here follows a reply by Mr. Nudge,
III which he breathes a spirit of i'll con
cealcd bitterness, with dash of acri-
mony and angostura on tho side:
ELI, Mo, Sept. ~.
Archie Magruder, Clay Bank Mineral
Springs, Ind. /:
DEAR SIR have your steamed favor
of the inst. and lock the door upon a
profitable business for minutes whilst
cheerily reply.
You err certainly in drawing the CON
clusion that desire to havo my springs
utilized as a real estate speculation. If
am correctly informed by our bank
here yQn are no more successful in draw
ing at 80 days than you are in drawing
your conclusions.
The fornl9r owner of these SPRINGS