River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-12-19
TOLD BY AN OLD SNOWMAN.


Three Brief But Interesting Stories About
the Ways of the Monkey.
Speaking OF monkeys" said the old
Snowman, I'VE had about thirty OF
them once in a big cage with a shelf
along each side, up high, for them 10
lie on. and little dead tree with the
ends of the branches sawed off stand
ing in the middle for them TO climb mp
70 the shelves by, and to hang on to by
their tails if they wanted to. One day
we set in on the bottom of the cage a
champagne bottle filed with very
highly fermented root beer, and with
the cork held IN with a cord tied with
bow-knot The monkeys got up on
the shelves and up in the stumpy
tree and looked down on this bottle
very suspiciously; finally their Curl
osity got the better of them and they
came down and moved around the bot
tie to inspect it. At last they got near
enough TO touch it and Fsndle Il and
finally they upset It over or its side.
Then one of the monkeys began pull
ing on the string, with the rest all
clustered around At last he pulled
the knot loose and bangi went the
cork an away went the beer. The
first rush of it knocked over three or
four of the monkeys nearest the mug
zle of the bottle. and 1t drenched half
dozen of them and wet all of them
more or less. for il went through tho
bunch of monkeys like a puff of smoke,
scattering and flying in all directions.
An instant later the monkeys were up
the tree and lying along on the shelves;
there was nothing left on the floor OF
the cage but the empty bottle
"a number of times after that wa
set bottles of beer out in the sun to
ferment, and then set them in the
cage, but the monkeys never would
touch them We could set the bottles
in. but we couldn't make the monkeys
pull the string.
There was a lady standing in front
of the cage one day who had on a hat
with big bunch of red cherries and a
lot of flowers on the top of it A mon
key reached through the bars and
grabbed the cherries. The lady pulled
back, but the monkey held on and
pulled the hat off and tried 10 drag it
through the bars into the cage. Three
Or four other visitors standing near
rushed up and grabbed the nat, and
they pulled one way while the monkey
pulled the other. They finally got the
hat away from the monkey and re-
turned it to the lady. The cherries were
about all gone, and what there was
left of the rest of the hat really wasn't
Of much account The lady said
the would have to be paid for the hat,
and she made for the box Office.
why, certainly said the man in
the box Office. How much do you val
ne the hat?
Five dollars the lady said, and
the box Office man handed out the
money.
The lady smiled; she was evidently
pleased. I didn't really expect you
would pay for it" she said, and she
turned to go away.
Madam. said the man in the box
pfice, and the lady turned around.
Wen take the hat now, if you
please
WHAT said the lady.
THE hat, if you please said tbs
box Office man. We've paid for it,
and we would like to have it
''of course, the lady couldn't go away
without hat, and the upshot of it was
that she returned the five dollars and
went away with the hat
standing in front of the cage one
day was man who had on a pair of
gold speetacles. A monkey reached
through and took the spectacles off
the mans nose. The man was greatly
surprised at this but he was great
deal more surprised when he saw the
monkey, still standing close by him,
push the glasses out of the frame and
push them in his mouth and stow them
away, one in each cheek, and then pro-
coed to twist the frames up. like so
much wire, into small bunch. One of
pur men went into the cage and ehoked
the monkey until he got the glasses
put of his mouth, and then he got the
frame away from him and we returned
them to the owner of course, they
were not of much use to him in that
shape. but it was the best we could
don. Y. Sun.