Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-09-26

the n1gnW0yman, Il uOu uecu uhy no
sistance. Town Topics.
Hell believe will propose to her by
telephone. Do you think she WILL ac-
cept me? She-She ought to II you ring
her up properly.-Harper's Bazaar.
Customer-These trousers don't sit
right about the hips. Taiier-Theyr
all right-what you need is something
more in the pockets Chicago Record.
Lea-Caddington's still suffering from
that toothache. though advised MIN
to take drop of carbolic acid and Kill
the nerve. Perrins-Didn't he 60 IT!
Lea--No; he didn't have the nerve
Judge.
Cholly-Thought you were going to
marry Miss Kostique? Gussie-Goins
to awsk her tonight. My chawnces are
about even. "How so, deah boyv' "She
must say either yes or mo- '-Phiia-
delphia Record.
DoZber-Do you think that constantly
wearing hat has n tendency to make
man bald? Jazlin-No; but when
man Is bald I've noticed thar It bas
tendency to make him constantly wear
hat-Roxbury Gazette.
81 don't see any use In getting blne
over it, old man. She isn't the only girl
In the world" That's just what I'm
blue about. Think Of the chances l
have of making the same kind OF a fool
of myself again."- Brooklyn hfe.
Although she had gift, as people SAID.
A generous gift Of song from nature
free,
Her dear papa with rage fell nearly
At finding each short lesson cost v.
-Pittsburg Dispatch.
! "You are charged" said the rurai
. Justice. with stealing two gallons OF
, whisky. Why did you do til" "Steai
two rallons?" Eyes," "Cos couldnt
git away with barrel, yer honor.
never wuz very strong|-Atianta Coz
stitution.
An exemplary patient-"This morn
= ing the doctor ordered me 70 urinA
warm water an hour before every
meal: and here I've been drinking TOT
. the last forty minutes, but I'll be jig
pered IL I can swallow another drop.
-Humoristische Blaetter.
\ $50 you took your family to the sea
shore?" said the facetious mans y
i. did" was the melancholy reply. where
], there As such grandeur in the breaking
of the waves" Eyes" "And TIT
breaking of the engagementsz-E" Yes
and of the $40 bills. "@Washlhgson Star
To folk in city and village and farm
The time Is coming. and wee betide'
When campaign speakers view Wit
ALARM" a31 sm y.
And then incidentally point wit
pride"
Chicago Record.
Tho physician-Great Scott! youn
lady. you say you had eleven dishes
ice cream, four soda waters ana mar
sandwich. Can you wonder why your
sick? The young lady (feebly>-It mus
have been the ham sandwich, SUI
pose.-Louisvill Post.
do you find this weather opprei
siyeY he asked. YES" she replied
.it's very hot and tiresome." "Woul
It make matters more endurable II
were to propose to your 'Oh, yes. d
propose ice cream, soda water and
drive Washington Star.
Fuddy-What is the trouble wit
Caudle and his wife? Duddy-She hs
sued him for breach of promise. Fudd
Breach of promise! How can thu
he. when they are married? buddy
Why, she married him for his none
and he declines to give up the money.
.. Boston Transcript
~ "How will you have your eggs COO
49, ed?" asked the waiter. make any di
ference In the cost Of 'em2" Inquire
- the cautious customer with the bril-
90 less hat and faded beard. NO." "Th'
~ cook them on the top Of a slice Of ham
en said the customer, greatly relieved.
40 Spare Moments.
Mr.. Urban--Why Is 1t that you cou
try people charge so much more +
board than we have to pay In the cit,
-be Mrs. Ensilage-La me! What que
ton! In the city the boardin' hou
!. keepers has plenty Of markets. but he
ms we has to raise everything.-New 70
Weekly.
his 1--WE couldn't help liking each oth'
to you see,
,es, The yacht met with very rou
the weather;
me And while she was pitching and to-
ing, you know,
ok wewere constantly thrown togethe
Brooklyn Eagle.
inc Doctor-I would advise you, d.
madam. to take frequent baths, pier
18th Of fresh air, and dress In ceoi cow
yo' Husband Ian hour lateD-What did
doctor say? Wife-He sa1a Z sught
20 to q watering place. a. 'sfterwal
to the mountains. and - cat some n
put light gowns at once.-Fliegende Bla