Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1895-10-20
OPEN LETTER TO BARTEMUS
Cuba Grey Reads the Sage of
TriCkem a Few
WILL JOIN IN THE CUNNING
Stands by the Loyal Sons of "0uld Ireland
Vsmisses Ben Adhem and Trains Her Cur
on More important Game.
Editor State Herald:

Editor State Herald:
Gallant knight of southern chivalry AMI
the all-potent quill fellow laborer in the
vineyard of complex politics, Cuba Grey
greets thee with grateful journalistic
grip. Hopeless Cuba Grey, in the claws
of so formidable tiger as the loftily
philanthropic Ben Adhem, doubtless en-
listed the manly sympathies of generous
Bartemus. When Ben Adhem Numbered
in sJovian tones Cuba Grey trembled and
besought Talladega mountains to be cleft
in her favor Immediately, that she might
find some truly secluded crevice in which
to hide her diminished head. Vanity and
pride did truly incur fall when Cuba
Grey, by reckless use of pen, did bring
herself within the radius of whitening
rays from Ben Adhems sarcastic sun,
whose magnitude has never yet been cor
rectly computed by earthly astronomers.
Bartemus rushed to the rescue when
Cuba Grey's chance of escape seemed in
deed forlorn hope Bartemus labored
under the natural delusion that Ben Ad-
hem belongs to the tribe of those useful
animals. whose ears are evidently con-
structed with definite view to the just
appreciation of sound-alias donkeys.
The anxious friends of Cuba Grey may
ment that she escaped from Ben Ad-
hens "brutum fulmen" with something
short of fatal damage; and since the at
tack upon her brought brave Bartemus
TO tilt with a windmill in behalf of
oppressed Cuba" she renders unto
Caesar that which is Caesars due" Bar
temus predicts that Ben is some little
jaekleg lawyer" and remarks that he
ought to be if he is not, because he Tex
hibitS all the impudence which charac-
terzes that pestiferous class of var
minis" Bartemus has worded it for me,
in more chastely elegant language, too,
than have at my weak command in the
repertoire for feminine use assigned. I
had heard from a friend that the modest
solon who paraded whitening decisions
under the title of Ben Adhem' was in
fact the Junior member of a certain legal
firm in Talladega. The Junior" may
suppose that he flies quite high" in the
capacity of tail to the kite" of his Sc
nior, whose mental and legal abilities
assuredly rank superior on the bar file of
Talladega; but the tail" alas! is scarce
1y the kite" in such instance Ben Ad-
hens disclosure of identity in a recent
appears to relieve the Junior
lawyer of odious accusation, however,
and l apologize to the bar" If reap
ing" that which he may not condescend
to SOW" constitutes husbandman, then
1T would conserve the eternal fitness of
things if "Agricola" were adopted as
Ben Adhem's" title whenever the fell
'cacoethes scnbendi' attacks his over
flowing mental reservoir.
| am done now with Ben Adhem as a
subject and shall honor other selections
from the breezy letter of gallant Barte-
mus. Our inky fingers may well ex-
change hearty Irish grasps which in
Guide whole heart and hands. Did any,
thing, by the way, ever equal the genial
outflow OF Irish sympathies? I regret
that L am not altogether Irish, since the
Irish element of Chicago so. grandly
old England the other day.
as Bartemus graphically describes 1t.
think that the Emerald Isle" must be
The identical lips of Mother Earth"
upon which God fondy pressed kiss;
and the sweet green isle has bossomed
with soft sward and warm, generous
hearts ever since. Satan's emissaries-
IN the way of British tyrants--have long
sought to ravish the fair lips, once
touched by God; but the green grass
sprouts with the Shamrock" still on
Irish ground, and loyal souls vet clins
TO their native land with devotion that
may not be suppressed in Difference to
eyfahn1cai DEGREES. Bartemus remarks
That the Irish Chicago convention cost
nothing but a little gas, and was con-
Quoted under the leadership of genial
5arleycorn.' File upon you. Bartemus
for such gross insinuation. You should
not reflect on the patent statesmanship
and gallant qualities of those loyal sons
of "Ould Ireland" as exhibited this side
OF the sea. En- PEASANT, let me inouire
whether it may not be possible that
Americans have on occasions torn a leaf
from Irelands book of political manage
ment? 1t appears that / do recall Ger
tam campaigns between the democratic
a a. no republican parties of America where
IN gas and Barleycorn' acted as par
tai factors, If not as general-in-chief
Now Bartemus, upon honor" tell me If
err in defending staunchly that gIo-
rious Irish blood. of which we both claim
partial ennobling strain? | recognize FIJI
~ the fact that an Irishman will readily
j urnlsh the sport of free fight" even
IN certain instances where he himself is
likely to get licked" for delectation of
the crowd Who, then, is so boldly pen-
erous as the typical Irishman? Upon his
native heath" where the "shamrocl"
grows, he is simply inimitable, and he
loses but few OF his admirable character
1stics when transplanted to these sin
guar American shores. Look for trench
ant loyalty where you behold an Irish
man. for his heart turns, true as needle
justice. 'p''''eu
If Gas and Barleycorn" suffice to in
sure "bloodless victories" to Chicago
IL lshlleH, why tnen not appeal to those
gallant disciples of Gas and Barleycorn''
to come south and "bloodlessly" finish up
those threatening 'goldbugs" whom you
cordially invite Cuba Grey to assist You
in cunning" for Irish wit, ably supple
mented by Gas and Barleycorn," might
come into quite convenient play lust
there. 1rishmen are proverbially unself-
ish. and will generously engage in any
cause where rascality and oppression is
ITO be fought. The genuine Irishman is
not SO particular as to who furnishes the
victim, just so the flight comes off"
Three cheers for ould Ireland! She's nv
taste, and my toast, says Cuba Grew.
Bartemus asserts that I'VE are after
licking the republicans and ventilatinc
war memories. just what suits them"
SO he asks Cuba Grey to ''let I'D on the
war. and go cunning for goldbugs." on
the theory that hogs delight to wallow in
the mire of filth which they have made.
then | believe that the republicans might
happily bask in the sunshine of Cuba
Grey's truthfully ventilated war memo
ries." Cuba is so pronouncedly Sweet
tempered" that she does not refrain from
wholesome ventilation" in behalf of any
set of swine who have been restricted
to rather close quarters by that astound-
ing increase of truly fraternal feeling
which has developed between formerly