The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-17
WISE OR OTHERWISE.

Charles Lever, the novelist once got
himself out of a very close place by his
ready wit. The Standard tells how when
he was consul at Trieste he accompanied
his daughter on Il certain occasion to Lon
don. Lord Lytton, hearing of his arrival,
invited him to dinner. "Ah, Lever" he
said, greeting him, $50 glad you were able
to come! You will meet your chief-Clar-
endon" (then minister for foreign affairs);
but Lever had omitted the formality of
applying for leave of absence. II fear
must retire. my nose is bleeding" replied
the novelist, making for the door, which
at that instant opened Lord Clarendon be-
ing announced. After shaking hands with
his host, his lordship espied Lever before
he could make good his retreat. "Ah, Mr..
Lever, l didn't know you were in Eng
land! l didn't even know you had asked
for leave" "N-no, my lord" stam-
mered the witty novelist, Il thought it
would be more respectful to your lord
ship to come and ask for it in person"
~.
Europe's public debt is now $l5, 900, 900
Democratic party.
~
The following most remarkable instance
NJ
French Academy in 1929. 1t was that OF a
boy years of age, feet inches in height.
At the age of 5 his voice changed, at 6
his beard had grown and he appeared a
man of go He possessed great physical
strength and could easily lift to his shoul-
GERS and carry bags Of grain weighing 200
pounds. His decline was as rapid as his
growth. At 8 his hair and beard were
gray; at 10 he tottered in his walk, his
teeth fell out and his hands became pal
of extreme old age. And yet we moderns
complain of living too fast!
..s
One common habit of persons who do
not talk much Is the unconscious transpo-
sition of syllables. A recent contributor
to the Atiahtic-hot IN Ut. homes IA
nous sense-ihehuohs the case OF GER
tain charming young lady VINO was az
hi'ted WIN the VeAihS haoit. ohe su u
mer evening she was sauhterlns win
friend toward the Viiiase postoihce Oh the
little town Where they were staying. On
the way they encountered an acquaintance
with handtul OF letters. An, good
evening, she sald' IN her peculiarly gra-
cious manner Are you straillhS out Tor
your mole?" The mystihed young wo-
man made some inartlculate reply and
passed on. AS soon as the friend could re-
cover her gravity, she gasped. Il suppose
you intended to ask Miss May If she was
strollng out for her mail?" The same
young lady was relating sad story of
various misfortunes which had over
whelmed dear friend. Think she con-
cluded pathetically of losing husband,
children property and home at one swell
foop"' And howl OF laughter rent the
roof.
-
A DIFFERENCE:
"Our minister is one of the salt of the
Garth"
"Humph, ours Is so fresh we hardly
expect 10 keen hjmr'-Life.
=.
ina,
The unit OF 'he u.,l,'y Oh lhe teIephone
s mas ~ ~esy "v. -, ,,..,
cumstance related in the San Francisco
Examiner The other morning, about 9
o'clock, an afiluent young 'F'rscoan whom
we may call Smythe awoke with an ex-
cruciating pain In his stomach. The more
he squirmed the worse he grew. Finally
the terrible thought flashed upon him that
dashed OUT OF pea, downstairs 10 the teie-
phone ana uehahoeu 10 De sW,tcheu on 10
ms physicans NUMBER "'thout delay.
.For heavens sake, aoctor' come at once!
I'm poisoheu' me M D'' VINO had also
crawied Out OF pea 10 answer the sum
mons srowieu DUCK, What makes you
think SO? Frigntiui pain-awiui cramps
-ihsiues on hre-nurry up or III u DEAD
man! Humphl Doesmer-uoes your