davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30
SUPPOSED TO BE HUMOROUS

Blbbs-Who was the man you gave the quar-
ter to at the hotel this morning?
Gibbs-An old literary friend of mine author
OF GLOW to Get Rich in the South."-New York
World.
Jack-Blower stuck to his habit of stretch
ing things right up to the very last.
Bill--Indeed!
Jack-Yes; he stretched a rope out in New
gate couple Of weeks ago, poor fellow Spare
Moments.
Hobbs-Wonder why our mail is always late
now?
Dodds-Oh, the carriers are women and they
| can't hustle much when they have all the
postal cards to read.-Louisyille Courier Jour-
nal
Brush-What is the distinguishing feature of
impressionist pictures, anyway?
Palette-There not having any.-Somerville
Journal.
Jones-Come, go fishing with me, old chap.
Brown-Can't do it; just signed the pledge
Judge.
al had counterfeit silver dollar passed on
me last week." said Hicks.
'That was hard LUCK said Wilkes.
at was, indeed" said Hicks. "The only way
1 could get rid of it was to put it in the
contribution plate last nday."-Harper's
Bazaar.
Father-Fritz, 1 saw you last evening helping
home an intoxicated student. Don't do it
again; it makes bad impression.
Fritz-Oh, that's all right. I only did it to
get even with him.-Fliegende Blaetter.
Mrs. Malaprop-Who are the two young
ladies playing that duet on the piano?
Herr Strawitzki-One is the daughter of the
hostess.
Mrs. Malaprop-And pray, who is her accom-
plice?-Eulenspiegel.
Cross-What does Sellers mean by advertis-
ing 'tNew blood in the business?"
Blackwell-Why, didn't you hear7 He's
taken his wife's rich old grandfather into the
irm.-New York World.
Mammal hope you behaved like little lady
while Mrs. Hightone was trying to entertain
your
Small Daughter-Yes'm put my hand over
my mouth every time / yawned.-Good News.
She (sadiy|-Well, II we must part let us part
friends. Good-by, and may all that's good go
with you.
He (decidedly)-If all that's good went with
me you would not remain here.
Then she smiled and laid her head upon his
shoulder and he remained.-Chicago News.
Mr.. Murray Hill-If the Venus de Medici
could be animated into life women would only
remark that her waist was too large.
Mrs. Murray Hill-That's where you are mis-
taken again. The Venus de Medici would have
on pair of corsets before any one would have
chance to say word.-Texas Siftings.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30
Husbandry and every part of rural Cali

HuSDanQry ana every part OF TuTdl Call-
fornia should be included.
The scheme of the Highland Grange is
to establish in the Santa Cruz Mountains,
| near Wrights, summer camp, where tents
and other camping facilities will be
| furnished at a small cost. The encamp-
ment is to extend through the summer and
arrangements have been made with the
| State and Stanford Universities to send
lecturers who will instruct both in
agriculture and economics.
This opens very wide view of posi-
bilities and opportunities. 1t has been
the rule in this State that the success
| achieved by the small farmers has been
that which the larger growers made
possible. 1t is remarkable fact that the
rich horticulturists of the State have not
| only fought the way to successful produc-
| ton and profitable market, but in every
possible way have given to their humber
brothers all the benefits that their larger
opportunities have secured. This generous
band of horticulturists on a large scale
have made this industry in California
what it is to-day, and they represent the
highest type of citizen whom the State Is
proud to own.
Between these men and the vast army OF
small growers who would be helpless with
out their guidance stands the University
| of California with its various branches de-
| voted to the scientific and economical pro-
motion of agriculture. Between a man OF
so conspicuous ability as Professor Hill
gard and the leading horticulturists OF the
| State there was bound to exist the cordial
relation which we observe to-day. 1t has
been unfortunate that the intimacy and
cordially of this relation have been kept
| from their highest development by the in
| tervention of various boards and societies
with which many of the leading horticul-
| turists had become identified. The last
| Legislature, seeing the Gripping effect
which appropriations made to sustain
these societies was having on the useful
ness of the university, took measures,
familiar to all, to concentrate the activi-
| ties in the State institution.
| That having been done, with more or
less inevitable friction. and matters ap-
pertaining to the higher development OF
| horticulture having taken more definite
| shape, it is both surprising and gratifying
to observe that the old comprehensive
order, the Patrons of Husbandry, has come
forward to supply the one lack that is
left. Though originally inspired by politi-
cal aims, it is clear now that the order has
| determined to begin at the ground and
educate its members in the practical ele-
| ments of success. The first thing that it
does under this regime is TO call on the
State University for practical advice, and
| that it has asked Stanford for theoretical
| instruction is equally commendable. This
opens a way for the harmonizing OF all
the various parts of the intricate machin-
cry that is working for the highest devel-
| opment of California's greatest industry.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30
MEETING OF THE MINERS.
1t Is Expected That They Will Take
Up the A1l-Important Mineral
Lands Question.

Secretary W. G. Ralston of the California
Miners Association is receiving assurance
from the delegates to the forthcoming
meeting of the Miners Association that
they will exert themselves to attend the
meeting. Just how important the meeting
might be to the mining interests of Cali
fornia cannot yet be told, much depending
on the associations attitude toward the
opposing railroad interest.
One object of the meeting which has not
been advertised in the circular heretofore
described in the CALL but which is never
theless the most important matter the
miners have to discuss has reference to
the encroachment of the railroad upon the
mineral lands of the State.
1t is estimated that the Southern Pacific
controls millions of acres in the State,
which, properly considered, are mineral
lands within the meaning of the law, and
to which, therefore, the railroad has no
title. To devise ways and means for the
reversion of these lands to the Govern
ment so that they may DE entered upon by
miners is one of the things the association
must determine at its com meeting.
The various committees of the California
Miners Association are as follows.
At Large-Charles G. Yale, c. W. Cross, A.
Scott, s. 3. Christy, R. McMnrray, Edward
Coleman, E. G. LOTUS, A. II. Ricketts,, ]. J..
Crawford, w. w. Montague, TREY L. Ford, s.
K. Thornton.
Legislation-T TREY L, Ford, E. A. Belcher,
Charles 6. Yale, ]. NJ. Wright, A. H. Ricketts,,
Thomas G. Merrill, W. E. f. Deal, J. F. Touns-
ley, r: McMurray, J. B. Treadwell, w. w. Kel-
logg, Il. Y. Reardan, C. F. Hoffman, Ira II.
Reed, C. c. Bush.
Protection of Mineral Lands-A H. Ricketts,
lcha1rman), Charles G. Yale, ]. NJ. Wright, E.
q. Lotus, Charles F. Hoffman,.
Executive committee. H. Nef, Placer
County, chairman; Alameda County-F. Chap
pellet, W. r. Thomas; Amador County, +
Parks, e. e. VOORHEES,; Butte County-A Eek
man, ". E. Duncan; Calaveras County-T. 7.
Lane, ). Foorman; Ell Dorado County, w,
Chapman, James Richards; Nevada County,
A. Tregidgo, J. S. Mcbride; Placer County,.
n. Fulweiler, Harold T. Power; Plnmas
Gounty-W. W. Kellogg, George Standard; San
francisco County,. A. Belcher, D. E. HAYES !:
Shasta County-R. G. Hart. ]. F. Lyons; Sierra
County-Frank R. Wehe, D. T. Cole; Siskiyou
County-John Daggett, A. G. Myers; Trinity
County-John McMurray, C. W. Smith; Tuoi(-
umne County-John II. Neale, J. w. G. Max
well; Ventura County,. B. Treadwen: Yuba
County-James OBrien, Joseph Durfee.
1t is expected that from forty to fiftv
delegates will be present at the meet
ing to be held at the Palace Hotel June 6.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30
PERSONAL.

DR.. Fl. A. Crepin of San Diego is at the Russ.
c. T. Jones, an attorney of Sacramento, is q
guest at the Grand.
A. Chichizola, a wealthy merchant of Jack
son, is at the Commercial.
Colonel William Doolan, owner of Vichy
Springs, is at the Commercial.
]. V. Healy, hotel man of Haywards, and
his bride, are registered at the Lick.
E. W. S. Woods, an attorney of Stockton, was
one of yesterdays arrivals at the Grand.
c. E. Fleming, proprietor of the Ell Captain
Hotel in MERGED, registered yesterday at the
Lick.
Captain c. M. Remission of Stockton came
down yesterday On his way to New York and
registered at the Grand.
George E. Hogg, NJ E., of Sutro, New, general
superintendent of the Comstock Tunnel Com
pany, is at the Palace Hotel.
Henry Janin, well-known mining engineer,
and Mrs. Janin arrived from New York yester-
day and are staying at the Palace.
E. A. Walrund, cashier of the First National
Bank of Fresno, and his bride are in town on
their wedding tour, and are staying at the
Lick.
George W. Lynch of the Hotel Florence in
San Diego arrived here yesterday from the
East, where he attended the annual conven-
eioAi vi Tic NalloHdl holel Men > EAssoCldtlol.
Mr.. Lynch is president of the Southern Cali
fornia Hotel Association and first vice-presi-
dent of the National Association. He is stay
ing at the Grand Hotel.
George S. Mckenzie, Sheriff of Napa County,
came down yesterday with R, N. Breckenridge,
who is under sentence to twenty-five years
imprisonment i'll San Quentin for robbing the
Calistoga stage with Buck English, who was
killed by Sheriff S posse shortly after the rob-
berry. Breckenridge, who is only % years of
age, yesterday pleaded guilty and was SEN
fenced Immediately in the Superior Court of
Napa.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30
THE OHIO PLATFORM.

AS was to have been expected, the plat
form adopted by the Republicans of Ohio
is eminently conservative, safe and strong
1t reaffirms the great principles of which
the party has been SO long the political
embodiment and which have given it such
hold upon the intelligence and the pa
Jriotism of the people. 1t demands re-
turn to the protective system, which, while
restoring American wages and American
products, shall provide an adequate reve-
nue. for the uses of the Government. 1t
advocates a reciprocity of trade, which,
while gaining the worlds market for our
surplus products, shall not surrender our
own markets to foreign-made commodities
which can be produced at home. 1t urges
the maintenance of fair elections, based
upon free ballot and an honest count. 1t
declares in favor of bimetallism and de-
mands the use of both gold and silver as
standard money, either in accordance with
a ratio to be fixed by international agree
ment, if that can be obtained, or under
such restrictions to be determined by legis-
lation as will maintain the parity of the
values of the two metals, so that the debt
paying power of the dollar, whether of
silver, gold or paper, shall be at all times
equal.
With the possible exception of a few ex-
IRENE advocates of free silver coinage, this
platform will be found acceptable to Re-
publicans all over. the Union. That it
offers nothing new in the way of remedies
for existing evils is one of its best features
The long established principles of the Re-
publican party, if carried into effect by
judicious legislation, would solve every
problem of the time in the interests of the
people. A proper protective tariff would
revive industry and put an end to the de-
felt in the revenues that has so gravely
complicated our financial problems. Re-
ciprocity would open to US such foreign
markets as would be. beneficial under
terms conducive to our interest, and
wisely directed legislation in the direction
of bimetallism would prepare the way for
an enlarged use of silver that would in
crease the currency of the country and
revive our languishing silver industries
This platform may be accepted as fairly
outlining that which will be adopted by
the National Republican Convention in
1896. a platform that suits Sherman, Nc
Kinley, Foster and Foraker is not likely to
be displeasing to many Republicans any,
where. The ".Ohio idea" as expressed by
her Republican leaders, never differs much
from the National idea, and this instance
will not prove an exception to the rule. 1t
may be regarded, therefore, as now well
assured that the storms of the money con-
troversy have not caused the grand old
party to deviate from its fixed course, and
that it moves now as steadily as ever in the
direction OF protection, reciprocity, bimet-
allism and honest elections.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30
TO INSTRUCT THE FARMERS.

AS the State Grange, Patrons of Hus-
bandry, has Endorsed the summer encamp-
ment scheme set on foot by Highland
Grange, near Wrights, in Santa Clara
County, and has appointed committee to
further the aims of the Highland branch,
it is eminently proper that the purposes
and possibilities of this movement be con-
sidered. This can and should be made the
beginning of series of summer encamp-
ments throughout the State under the
auspices and guarantee of the Patrons OF
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30
VALLEY ROAD SURVEYORS,
The Second Party Has Gone Several
Miles South Of Fresno and Is
at Selma.

A letter was received by Chief Engineer
Storey of the Valley railway yesterday from
the second engineering party near Fresno.
1t informed him that the preliminary sur
vey had been made several miles south from
Fresno, and that preparations had been
made for establishing a camp west of
Selma yesterday.
This party is working toward Hanford.
Instructions were sent both to its engineer
and the third corps at Fresno surveying
toward Visalia to run the preliminary lines
very rapidly through Fresno County. It
Is believed in consequence of this notifica-
ton that the surveyors will be in Kings
County within week.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30
SPIRIT OF THE PRESS.

Plagiarism should be discouraged wherever
and whenever possible. Journals that incur
the expense of enlighteniug the public on pub
lie questions are deserving of some protection
the same as man who makes an invention.
The modern newspaper is, or at least should
be, the molder of public opinion. The paper
without an opinion is like ship without q
rudder, or a lighthouse without q light. 1t
cannot steer public opinion.-Nevada City
Transcript.
The movement for "greater Los Angeles" is
working along very nicely and the loo, 900
population is in sight. Some of the handsomest
residences in Los Angeles and best improved
places Gre in the suburban sections, which are
now, to all intents and purposes, except polii-
caily, in the city. The Chamber of Commerce
has taken hand in smoothing down the OBJ
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30
Illicit Oniun.

LOO Doom, Chinese, was found guilty of
rnciuy manufacturing opium by jury In the
oniteo states District Court yesterday. Over a
year ego revenue Agents Thomas and Gilchrist
ralded the store of Sam Fook at A13 Comnar'
eaai street and in the rear discovered the
tactory. Inc Chinaman was arrested hut swore
.Ias tne factory was leased to countryman
M Mn9se name he did not know. He promised to
nna me man and bring him into court. After
YEAR search be succeeded and Lee Doom will
now nave chance to serve term for eyading
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30
Objects to Water Pines.

Henri Pottet has sued the Spring Valley
Water Works for $4,000 damages through
having the company's water pipes laid through
his land on Nebraska street. He also asks that
the company be compelled to remove the pipes,
as their maintenance is source of peril
through possible bursting of the pipes, and
will entail the invasion of a corps of employees
on his land to keep them in repair.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30
jectors and the undertaking will soon be con-
summated.-Los Angeles World

summated.-Los Angeles World.
We have enough carnival poems from local
poets on our table to fill the poetry columns OF
the Sentinel every day for several years, and
fill the heads of our readers with wheels for
ever and ever. However, we can insert car
| nival poetry at ten cents line, when accom-
panied by certified checks.-Santa Cruz Sem
tinel.
Kern County farmers sell their hogs in Los
Angeles at SO cents pound and buy them
back again in the shape of bacon, hams and
lard at five or six times that price. How long
it will take to get rich at that rate Is an un-
solved problem.-Bakersfield Californian.
New York has added flock of sheep to Gen.
trail Park, and keeps shepherd dressed in
blue and silver to look after them. He is prob
ably the only man left in America who can
make any money in the sheep business
Marysville Appeal.
According to Edward Atkinson 10000, OOO,-
600 eggs are laid in the United States every
year. 1t must cost Mr.. Atkinson great deal of
time and expense to count these 10000, OOO,-
600 eggs every year.-Los Angeles Times.
A professor calculates that the earth is
shrinking about two inches year. That ae-
counts for the nervous anxiety manifested by
some people to possess it while it is of some
Slze.-Alameda Telegram.
When the great men of the Supreme Court
can disagree upon pure questions of law, there
ought to be room for honest and good natured
differences among ordinary folks.-Redlands
Facts.
The great objection to the modern daily met.
ropolitan newspaper is its bulk, and not one
man in thousand gets time to read one-half
of it-Escondldo Times
Democratic administration issues the
bonds, but a Republican administration will
have to pay them off.-Fresno Republican.
1t is time for the British to evacuate the
Treasury northumberland Or) Sun.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

No striking alternative is offered us
when we are asked whether we shall
choose wheel or woe.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

We owe a debt of honor and of gratitude
to the living members of the Grand Army
as well as to those that are dead.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

LADIES suffering from nervous Affections find
quick relief in PARRER's GINGER Tonic
HINDERCoRNs, the best cure for corns l5cts.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

1t has been long time since we heard
Of the road that is to send US to the Yo-
semitic by electricity.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

1T is remarkable how Hoods sarsaparilla fresh
ems and invigorates the tired body. 1t creates an
appetite, purifes the blood and really does .make
the weak strong.n Take only Hoods
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

AN immense crowd is expected to be present
at the American Foresters picnic, to be held
to-day at Schuetzen Park, San Rafael. Round
trip tickets, including admission to the park.
80 cents. Prizes amounting to over $500
will be distributed.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

The man who laughs when he is not
happy either has something to sell OF
something to conceal.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

Grief lies behind the confession that we
must all begin to tougher our consciences
and call bicycle a wheel.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

The woman who would have the highest
facial beauty must remember that the
light which shines in her eyes must come
from her heart
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

Bear in mind this is not common holi.
day, but day set apart for solemn services
in honor Of those who died that the Nation
might be saved.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

In these days of piping peace it is well to
recall the deeds of heroes in the days that
tried mems souls.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

The living veterans of the war should fine
to-day thousand proofs that their deeds
are not forgotten.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

Paris would despair of success in choos-
ing the prettiest girl among the contest
ants for carnival queen of Santa Cruz.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

A million men combined couldn't make
metropolis if all of them were animated
by provincial ideas.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

Business competitions and political diff
ferences can be laid aside to-day in gen
eral harmony upon the broad platform O.
National patriotism.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

The birth-centenary of Heinrich Marschner,
which occurs in August next, is to be cele-
brated in Hanover, as elsewere in the father
land, by special performances.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

When political combinations begin te
break we may be sure that the bosses have
taken to the woods.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

USE DR.. Siegerts Angostura Bitters the world
renowned South American appetizer and invigora-
tor of exquisite flavor.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

1t is rumored that the fat trout in the
mountain lakes are now ready to be taken
in out of the wet.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

All the people should rejoice to-day in
the Union made one and indivisible by the
blood of heroes.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

The Nation must not only guard the
memory of her soldiers who are dead
but she must guard also the welfare OF
those who are yet alive.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

The ties which the Valley road is buying
will bind San Francisco to the San Joaquin
Valley.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

Johannes Brahms has just completed his
sixty-second year.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

No SAFER Oh MORE EFFIcAcIous REMEDY can
be had for Coughs, or any trouble OF the throat
than +" BTotoTl'S bronchial IToches"
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

This is the day to make manifest the
Nations gratitude to the Grand Army.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

REGULATE your gas, stop breaking globes
save 20 to 40 per cent. Gas Consumers Asso
citation, 316 Post street, established 1873.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

There are ten newspaper editors in the
House OF Commons, six printers and three
statiOners.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

WINE-DRINKING people are healthy. NJ. & K.
wines, sc glass. Mohns & Kaltenbach. 20 Mkt
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

Humility is the pen which genius puts
into the hand Of the recording angel.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

A composite photograph Of the sweet
girl graduates from the California schools
this year would likely drive the roses and
butterflies out of business.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

The great Republic cannot for get the
humblest of those who fought for her.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1895-05-30

This is the day to show forth to all the
world that the Republic is grateful.