Hutchinson gazette. [volume] (Hutchinson, Kan.) 1895-1902, 1895-09-12
SS53;ai7;EIiAiE|;3

Gilbert Parker recently encountered
a Canadian bishop whom he. had
known in his boyhood. The bishop
pompously inquired: "Ah, Gllbertl
and are you still writing your-ah-llt-
tie booksT" Mr.. Parker promptly an
swered: Eyes, bishop. And are you
still preaching your-ah-little SER
mOnsp
Dean Hole tells of an old-fashioned
cathedral verger, "lord Of the aisles,"
who, one noon, found a plous visitor
on his knees in the sacred building.
The verger FASTENED up to him and
said, In a tone Of indignant excite
ment:"The services at this cathedral
are at 10 in the morning and at 4 In
the afternoon, and we don't have any
fancy prayers"
The late Sir John A. Macdonald was
once at reception, and bishop from
Belgium was present. AS the party
were being escorted by a body of men
In Highland costume, the foreign bish-
op, seeing the bare legs and kits,
asked why these men were without
trousers. TITS just q local custom"
gravely replied Sir John; "in some
places people take off their hats as q
mark of honor to distinguished guestsj
here they take of their trousers"
At one time the Duke Of yelling
toms extreme popularity was rather
embarrassing. For instance, on leaV-
ing home each day, he was always
intercepted by an affectlonate mob,
who insisted on hosting him on their
shoulders and asking where they
should carry him. 1t was not always
convenient for him to say where he
was going, so he used to say, Garry
me home; carry me home;" and so he
used to be brought home half dozen
times day a few minutes after leav-
ing his own door.
Suzanne Lazier was good actress,
but extremely stout. She was one
night enacting a part IN melodrams
with Taillade, the original Pierre Of
"The Two Orphans" and this actor
had at one moment to carry her faint.
ing of the stage. He tried with all
his might to lift the "heshy" heroine,
but, although she helped her little
cOmrade by standing on tiptoe, In the
| aro,Iol hn VrO IInohln IN n1nUp
her an inch. At this juncture one Of
the deities cried from the gallery;
"Take what you can and come back
for the rest"
The lectures of a certain Oxford
tutor were once reported to be "cut
and dried" Eyes, said Prof. H. J.
Smith, the witty mathematician
dried by the tutor and cut by the
men," A dispute arose at an Oxford
dinner table as to the comparative pres
tige Of bishops and judges. The argu
ment, as might be expected at party
Of laymen, went in favor Of the latter
NO." said Henry Smith, "fOr judge
can only say, Hang yOu,' but bishop
can say D-n you" Speaking Of ar
eminent scientific man, to whom he
gave considerable praise, he said
"Yet he sometimes forgets that he II
only the editor, and not the author Of
Nature"
Bishop Simpson preached some years
ago in the Memorial hall, London. Fol
half an hour he spoke quietly, without
gesticulation or uplifting Of his voice
then, picturing the Son Of God bearing
our sins in his own body on the tree
he stopped, as If laden with an i'm.
measurable burden and, rising to his
full height, he seemed to throw it from
him, crying: "HoW far? AS far as the
east Is from the west, so far hath he
removed our transgresslons from US. "
The whole assembly, as If moved by
an irresistible impulse, rose, remained
standing for a second or two, then
sank back into their seats. A profess
or Of elocution was there. A friend
who observed him and knew that he
had come to critlcise, asked him, wheI
the service was over: "Well, what dc
you think of the doctors elocutionT
'Elocution" said he; "that man
doesn' want elocution; he's got the
Holy Ghost~
The Scotch Arcl bishop Foreman In
the sixteenth century, was so poor q
Latin scholar that, when he was
obliged to visit Rome, he found great
difficulty in conforming to some Of the
customs Of the pope's table, to which
he was invited. Etiquette required
that the Scotch bishop should take
part in uttering a Latin benedictiou
over the repast, and the illlterate guest
had carefully committed to memory
what he believed to be the orthodox
form Of words. He began with bis
"Benedicite," expecting the cardinals
to respond with "Dominus," but they
replying "Deus" italian fashion, 50
confused the good bishop that he for
got his carefully-conned phrases, and,
ain good, broad Scotch" said: ITO the
devil I give you all, false cardinals, y
to which devout aspiration pope and
cardinals (who understood only their
own language piOusly replied,
"Amen."
Mrs. Z" is one Of those good-na-
| turpd women who are ALWAYS wanting