davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-12-24
Tint DncI.ing Trin.

We have not heard the last of that
ducking TRIP. It begins to look now as
if it was not so much Of a ducking trip,
after all, as it was lion hunt planned and
carried out in clever manner. The in
side history of the trip, as CLEANED by
one of the brightest and most reliable
journalists at the capital, runs in this
way;
When the British ambassador placed in
the Presidents hands a copy of Lord Sails
bury's first note on the Venezeula affair
he said his government was anxious to
have the full correspondence made public
Immediately after its receipt in this coun-
try; unless the President had objections
the copy would Immediately be given to
the press in London. This would have
given the President and his cabinet no
time worth mentioning to consider the
note before it became public property.
The matter at issue was very grave one,
and one which could not be determined
off-hand, or in a few hours, The Presi-
dent knew that there was some reason
for the English desire to get the CORE
spondence into print Immediately. Under
the rules of diplomacy the British foreign
Office would be justified in making the
matter public as soon as Salisburys note
was in the hands of the President
The President suddenly remembered
that he was very tired, needed rest and
had a great desire to go off for a few
days of duck shooting. a vessel was or
dered and arrangements made. Secretary
Olney communicated the fact of the trip
to Ambassador Psurcefote. and delicate
~ limited that it would not be quite cour-
teous for Salisbury to make the CORE
spondence public during the absence of
the President from the capital The am
bassador cabled to his home government,
and Lord Salisbury. under the circum-
stances. postponed the publication
Meanwhile. the President was down in
Currituck sound. Shooting ducks? Not
that he had a copy of Salsbury's note
in his pocket when he left the capital.
and that he spent by far the greater part
of his time in the cabin of the Violet
during the trip For two nights he sat
through the night studying the note and
the application of the Monroe doctrine
Ito the situation: and during those two
nights he made a draught OF the larger
( part Of the message that was sent to con-
/ gress. il viii be remembered that there
was a mighty short intervening period
between the time that he returned 70
! Washington and che time that the mes
sage was sent 10 congress. He was then
/ ready for the correspondence 10 be made
public Salisbury was az liberty 10 De-.
lease che copy 10 che English press II be
vas 30 disposed. The President had gain
"a The time Pc wanted, apa had beaten
J ale Epgiish game 10 spring fhe sensation
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-12-24
BRIGHT BITS.

-zigsby-I have put friend of mine on
his feet three times in the last two years.
Perksby-Thats nothing. l pat friend
of mine on his feet fourteen times last
night.-Brooklyn Eagle.
Rev. Mr.. Sainuy-I hope you go to
Sunday school, Bobbie.
Bobbie-Yes, sir. And that's how 1 get
ahead of father and mother.
Rev. Mr. Saintly-How so.
BObbie-They have to go to church,
Brooklyn Life.
II want to pay this bill" he said to the
hotel clerk But l think you have made
a slight error here in my favor. I've
been reading over the extras and / can
not find that you have charged me any
thing for telling me you thought it might
rain. "-Tit-Bits.
y SUPPOSE said the preacher, a little
out of patience, that when the last
trump blows it will find good many of
my congregation asleep" Well" re-
piled one OF the deacons, Il reckon it all
depends on who is doing the preaching at
that particular moment. "-Yonkers
Statesman.
Neighbour What beautiful hens you
have, Mrs. Stuckup.
Mrs. stuckup-Yes. they are all imported
fowls
Neighbor-You don't tell me so! 1 sup
pose they lay eggs every day?
Mrs Stuckup (proudly)-They could do
so If they saw proper, but our circum-
stances are. such that my hens are not re-
CURED to lay eggs every day.-Texas
Siftings.
-Dumley-Townley was looking for you
to-day, BROMLEY. He sails for Australia
tomorrow, where he intends settling, and
he wanted to collect 10 you owe him.
Brownley-Yes; l saw him a little while
ago. promised to forward him the money
by the next mail.
Dumley-In what part of Australia does
he expect to settle?
Brownley.-Well, really, 1 don't know; 1
didn't ask him.-Tit-Bits.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-12-24

DID you ever see drunken fish?" in
CURED Sonoma county wine grower. ac-
cordlng TO the San Francisco Post
No one would confess that he had seen
intoxicated fish, and the silence Indicated
a predlSposition to Incredibly
i suppose you are going to tell lis
about a drunken catfish staggering down
through the orchard and catching a
BIRD suggested one.
DO you think l am a liar?" demanded
the farmer Indignantly, but he was left
in ignorance as to the belief of his hear
erS My winery is right on the bank of
little creek This time of the year the
water stands in pools and every pool is
full of trout, suckers and pike. All of
the waste from the winery is thrown into
the creek and that is enough TO discolor
the water, but the other day a big vat of
sour claret burst and nearly all of it ran
down into the hole of water just below
the winery. In half an hour the pool was
crowded with fish floating belly IN I
thought they We're dead, and pulled big
pike out. but he wiggled and Hoped
around just like an old drunk trying to
get up without anything to hold on to.
One by they disappeared as they sobered
up and when the water cleared two DAYS
afterward there wasn't a dead FISH in
the pool. They had just been Jagged.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-12-24
Personal.

Baron Heckeren, who. under the name
OF ID Antes, killed the Russian poet Pusch-
Kin in duel in 1897, has just died at
the age of 81 at Sulz, in Alsace.
Princes Ferdinand and Charles of
Bourbon, the two eldest sons of the Count
OF Caserta, who is now the head of the
Naples Bourbons, have applied for per-
mission to serve in the Spanish army that
is trying 10 subject Cuba.
1t takes a level-headed philosopher to
reason like Paul Louis Courier who, when
bitterly assailed by a French professor
quietly remarked: Il fancy he must be
giarist, thief, poisoner libeler, forger, lep-
er, mailman, impostor a horrible, filthy
erimacing ragpicker. l gather what he
wants 10 say. He means that he and
are not or the same opinion, and this
is his only way of putting it,
Somebody having said that the deCom-
tesse Casteliane (nee Could does not wear
artistic gowns, the New York Telegram
nails the Islander in this artistic fashion:
AT recent dinner party the comtesse
wore an exquisite white chiffon gown
spangled with silver. The decohettage was
studded with diamonds. The JeWeled chif-
fOn sleeves We're immense-white as snowy
clouds sparkling with star dust"
Simon Bolivar, the liberator Of Vene-
zuela, is represented by an equestrian
statue in Central Park New York, while
George Washington is honored by a
statue in a square in Caracas. The
achievements of these men were much
alike in many particulars. The Nenezu-
clans Yenerate the memory of Washing
ton almost as much as they do that of
Bolivar. There is hardly a house in Cara
cas- that has not ia it a picture of Wash
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-12-24
The Drummer Escaped.

There were eight of us smoking our ar
ter-supper cigars on the hotel Veranda,
says the Detroit Free Press, when a small
man with a great deal of hustle and en-
ergy in his movements came out of the
hotel office and called out in general
way:
'iGentlemen. Is there general out
there?"
group as he half rose and bowed.
'Yes-ah glad to see you, general, .
continued the little man as he advanced,
and shook hands. Now, then, have we
any colonels present2"s
Il am a colonel" replied three men in
chorus as they followed the generals ex-
ample.
"Ha! Glad to see you, colonels-very
glad" said the little man as he extended
hand to each in succession. Lets see!
Have aitln?uy we Ys, judge among us here this
we have" replied two of the four
others. 80 glad to see You, judges-So
gladi Shake hands. Beautiful evening,
this! presume you other two gentlemen
breathe respective titles of major and
professor?'
I'VE do said the pair of us.
"Ah-glad to know lawfully glad. Ma
jor and professor, shake hands-shake
hands. Might have a little more rain,
but we can't md much fault with this
weather"
And who are you, if you please?" ask
ed the general.
"I? OH I'm only an ex-governor. an ex-
present raising 100000 to put another
railroad bridge across the Missouri river.
Keep your seats, gentlemen-I wouldn't
think of intruding my company on such a
distinguished assembly"
Next day, when we found out that he
was only a drummer for a Cincinnati shoe
factory, he had departed, and we couldn
give him the licking he deserved.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-12-24
Origin of Tobacco.

The Prophet was taking stroll in the
country when he saw a serpent stiff
with cold, lying on, the ground, says the
Conte Arabe. He compassionately took
1t up and warmed it in his bosom. When
the serpent had recovered it said:
Divine Prophet, listen. l am now go
ing to bite thee"
why, pray?' inquired Mohammed.
Because thy race persecutes mine and
tries to stamp ii out"
But does not thy race, too, make per-
petual war against mine?'' was the proph-
cts rejoinder. How canst thou, besides.
be so ungrateful and so soon forget that
1 saved thy life?"
There is no such thing as gratitude
upon this EARTH" replied the serpent
and if l were now to spare thee, either
those or another of thy race would kill
me: By Allah, l shall bite thee"
IF thou hast sworn by Allah 1 will not
cause thee to break thy VOW" said the
prophet, holding his hand to the SER
penis mouth. The serpent bit him. but
he sucked the wound with his lips and
spat the venom on the ground And on
that very spot there sprang up a plant
which combines within itself the venom
of the serpent and the compassion of the
prophet. Men call this plant by the name
of tobacco
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-12-24
tories of London Lawyers.

Many prominent lawyers in London are
OF an evangelistic turn Of mind, and en-
ploy their leisure by pulpit exercises in
whatever denomination they favor, says
London letter TO the New York Mail and
Express. Reader Harris. a well Known
queens counsel, for instance, is founder
and head OF the obscure body known as
the PentacOstal League. which IS holding
its annual meetings in London this week.
But the best known preaching queen :
counsel is Samuel Waddy. a leading light
among MethodistS Mr. Waddv is a good
humOrcd old soul, of whom his brethren
learned in the law like occasionally TO
make Iun once when he was on circuit
with Mr.. NOW Sir Frank lockwood, that
witty lawyer determined TO see how
Waddy behaved in the pulpit. Accord
lngly, accompanied by a barrister friend.
Mr.. Lockwood visited the Methodist chapel
where Waddy was to preach. and took a
prominent front seat. But Waddy espied
them when he entered the pulpit, and.
knowing theeir object, determined to get
rid of them: so. after some preliminary
exercises. he rose and sOlemnly said:
Brother Lockwood viii lead the con-
gregation in prayer"
Brother Lockwood's dismay may be
better imagined than described. he van
ished from his seat quicker than thought,
and no "MethOdy" chapel has known his
proud presence since.
It is not often that anyone scores off
Lockwood. Generally il is the other way.
once he was engaged on the opposite side
from Sir Charles Russell now Lord Rus
sell of Killowenl who was trying to brow
beat a witness into giving a direct answer,
Yes or No"
You can answer any question Yes or
No. " declared Sir Charles.
"Oh, can yOu2'' retorted Lockwood.
May l ask if you have left off beating
your wife?'
of course. Lord Russell is not a wife
beater. but he was fairly cornered. If he
said Yes" he admitted the practice; If
he said No" the situation was still
worse. He did not press the point with the
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-12-24
This is Interesting.

The Presidents Venezuela message is
being made an excuse by the English gov
eminent, the English press and. to some
extent even by the English people, for
aba ndoning the Armenians TO their fate
The British government was beginning to
feel that il would have 10 do something
pretty soon to put stop 10 the killing
OF Christians in Turkey. The pressure
was getting to be so great in behalf Of
active measures against Turkey that it
would not have been possible for the
British government to delay action much
longer. when, with startling suddenness,
the Venezuela boundary business came to
the front.
The Armenian question was dropped at
once. An apparently satisfactory reason
existed why the British government should
not press that question to a settlement.
The threatened war with the United
States was Of vastly more Importance to
Great Britain than the Strengthening Of
Christians by 0oslems.
One English publication. the Spectator.
says that President Cleveland's message
is the death warrant OF Armenia" In
other words, the English government has
made the message the excuse for practi-
caily abandoning the Armenians. and it
places the responsibility for abandoning
them upon President Cleveland. More
than one English paper says that Great
Britain could not risk the outbreak of
European war in which. owing to Ameri-
can hostility, she could not interfere.
This is a pitiful excuse for Sinking
her responsibility in the Armenian mat
ter. and it is not to her credit that her
newspapers are trying to make it appear
that President Cleveland is to blame for
her failure to discharge her plain duty.
The outrages in Armenia did not begin
recently They began many months ago,
and have been continued up to the present
time with scarcely any interruption. If
Great Britain ever had any intention of
interfering for the purpose of putting
stop to them. she has had ample oppor-
tunity to do so. The promptness with
which she seizes upon an excuse for do
ing nothing to help the struggling Chris
tians who are in the sultan's power. justi-
fies the conclusion that she had no in
tention of interfering, if interference was
likely to cost her anything. The specta-
tor says 1.-THE Moslems can now carry out
their plans. If there are no Christians
left in Armenia there will be no Armenian
question" That would suit Great Britain.
She doesn't want any Armenian question.
She is willing to get rid of the question
at the expense of the lives of the Christian
Armenians, and the blame for the killing
of the Armenians she would like to place
on President Cleveland. War between the
United States and Great Britain, however
is not imminent There will be plenty Of
time to put a stop to the outrages upon
the Armenians before there is likely to
be an outbreak of hostnities between
them.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-12-24

It takes a great paper like the New York
World TO keep up with perhdious Albion's
trickery and chronicle the stories Of her
greedy grabbing We have long known Of
England's land grabbing propensities, but
we had no idea to what extent she had
carried it until apprized by the World Of
what it'says are the facts. For instance.
up to a few days ago the Sandwich Is
lands were supposed 10 be about midway
the Pacific Ocean and to be under the
domination Of President Sanford B.
Dole and select company of gentlemen
in cahOot with him. But the World tells
its readers. in a carefully executed map.
that the Sandwich Islands have been
seized by England and are bristling with
British guns. And it appears from the
map that not only has England grabbed
the islands, but she has removed them
from their accustomed position and set
them down in the Atlantic Ocean to the
south and east of Cape Horn, in about
the position that the Orkneys used to oc-
cupy before England got her fingers upon
them. What has become of the
Orkneys is matter of doubt.
We suggest that the World watch
closely in order to prevent England from
sneaking them up this way and planting
them off our own coast-off Fire Island,
for instance.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-12-24

There seems to be a sort of epidemic
of looseness of the tongue among the
naval officers. 1t has not been long
since there were two or more high naval
officers reprimanded for talking too much,
and now two others have been reported
to the department for the same offense.
These latter two are Admirals Braine and
Roe, retired. They have been quo
ted in the newspapers as commenting
rather severely upon the Presidents mes
sage with regard TO the Venezuela mat
ter. Notwithstanding the admirals have
been on the retired list for some time,
they are still amendable to the discipline
of the service. 1t is probable that an in
vestigation will be held.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-12-24

Moreton Frewen's prediction that in
event of war between this country and
Great Britain we would confiscate all of
the investments that Englishmen have
made in this country seems to have so
alarmed those of his countrymen who have
money in our securities and enterprises
that they are making haste to get rid of
them. Frewen is one of those cranks who
are always bOthering themselves about
other peoples affairs. When his country
men find he has scared them into sacri-
ficing many millions of dollars of their
money they will wish him in a warmer
place than England.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-12-24
lNDEX TO NEW EMBELLISHMENTS.

Special Notices-Old Fashioned Rye.
Frederick Schwarz; The Star Grocery;
To the Ladies and School Children. Helms
ken's Family Grocery Store; a Merry
Christmas and Happy New Year, Georgia
Brewing Association: Dividend Notice.
Savannah Brewing Company; You and
Tomorrow, r. D. & VIM. baltimore:
Shelled Pecan Nuts. Etc, A. NJ. & c. w.
West; Everything Good for Christmas.
at Branch's; Turkeys Chickens. Etc. at
Estate S. W. Branch's; Turkey Is Being
Roasted the Carving VIII Soon Begin.
John T. Evans & Co; Stop and Get our
Prices Before You Buy, Mutual Cooper
alive Association; Christmas Lunch
Charles F. Graham, Proprietor Pulaski
House Cafe.
Medical-Munyons Remedies; Pura
Blood DR.. Hobbs Sparagus Kidney Pills;
Worlds Dispensary Preparations.
Dainty F'orget-Me-Nots-B. II. Levy &
Bro.
Club Cocktafs-G. f. Heublin Bro,
New York
Our Christmas Reminder-At Collats.
A Few More Words With You Before
Christmas-Falk Clothing Company.
Amusements-Races at Thunderbolt
Driving Park Christmas Day.
Fill the Stocking Full-Ludden & Bates.
Cheap Column Advertsements-Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent;
For Sale; Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-12-24

At the recent meeting of the Mississippi
Methodist conference a resolution was
adopted instructing the ministers of that
denomination to speak out from their pull
pits in condemnation of lynch law. and
exert themselves to aid in upbuilding a
healthy public sentiment in favor of law
and order 1t is not TO be understood. of
course, that the ministers have been neg
lectful Of their duty to sustain the laws
and preach obedience TO them, but the
evil OF lynching has grown to such an ex-
tent In Mississippi that il has been deemed
necessary 10 make special efforts against
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-12-24
Trading in Omees.
From Springfield ciass) Republican und)

Perhaps Congressman Bailey of Texas
intended his bin prohibiting senators and
representatives from IN any way solicit
ing appointments 10 Office as a joke, but
n applies would be mighty glad 20 see
taken seriously. The testimonies that Of.
nce-brokering Is a burden 20 the flesh
and 20 the spirit and that spoils-monger-
ing brings after q many more kicks and
enmities than rrjoieings and friendsh hips
are AZ common as OfiCn~hunfers in Wash
ington, and the proof that % lowers the
tone and ef8cienNy ~ fhe public service
81 oYefwh |mins -buf there are chronic
spofswnn enough in both houses - kill
the Bailey bA nfYerhelces.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-12-24
The MORNING NEWS is pubhs

The MORNING NEWS is published
every day in the year. and is served 20
subscribers in the city at Sl-U a month
500 for six months, and 5000 for one year
The MORNING NEWS hy mall six
times a week without sunday issue.
three months, 500; six months <ie5i one
year, $500.
The MORNING NEWS. Tri-Weekly.
Mondays. Wednesdays and Fridays. or
Tuesdays. Thursdays and Saturdays, three
months, Sl.25; six months, $50; one year,
The SUNDAY NEWS. by mail. one
year. 500
The WEEKLY NEWS. by mail, one
year. 500
Subscriptions payable in advance. Re
nit by postal order, check or registered
letter Currency sent by mail az risk Of
senders.
Transient advertisements. other than
special column. local or reading notices,
amusements and cheap or want column,
10 cents line. Fourteen lines Of agate
type-equaI 10 one inch space in depth
is the standard Of measurement. Con-
tract rates and discounts made known on
application at business office.
Orders for delivery of the MORNING
NEWS TO either residence or place of BUSH
ness may be made by postal card or
through telephone No. 2lo Any irregu-
larity in delivery should be Immediately
reported to the Office OF publication.
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed MORNING NEWS" Savannah
Ga
EASTERN OFFICE. % Park Row, New
York City. c. S. Faulkner. Manager.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-12-24

There will not be any war with Great
Britain, at least during the next two
years. As soon as the American papers
containing the names of the new congress
sional committees are received in Down
ing street, Lord Salisbury will see that
Lemuel Eli Quigg is a member of the
House committee of foreign affairs, and
he will Immediately chain up his dogs of
war He would never in the world risk
the dangers suggested by that name.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-12-24

1t took Lord Salisbury six months to
reply to Secretary Olney's note Il has
been suggested that he spent three
months Of that time in looking around
for allies in case his reply should lead to
a rupture between the two governments.
Now it is whispered that there is a Sc
cret reaty between this government and
Russia, under the terms of which the
cars government pledges itself to sup
port the United States in the event of
war with England. 1t is probable that
there is just about as much truth in one
story as the other, and that the basis
upon which each rests is the desire Of
some smart correspondent to forecast
something before his competitors think
of doing so.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-12-24
Presence of Mind.

Arthur Roberts was once the means OF
avertlng panic in a theater, SAYS House,
hold Words. Some odds and ends of seen
cry had taken fire, and a very pereenti.
BILE odor of burning alarmed the specta.
tors. a panic seemed to be imminent
when Mr.. Arthur Roberts appeared on
the stage. Ladies and gentlemen" he
said, compose yourselves. There is no
danger. l give you my word of honor
there is no danger" The audience did MOI
continued the comedian, rising to the ne
cessities of the occasion, "confound if
all; do you think if there was any daegas
I'd be here?" The panic collapsed.
Uncle Rastus-I done won dat tur.
key at de rattle tonight.
Aunt Dinah-Yo' was lucky, eh?
Yes; / was po'ful lucky. While de res,
was shakin disc I 'scused myse'f -
Rochester Post-EXpress.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-12-24

There has been bloodshed over the Ven
ezuelan boundary dispute. Happily, how
ever, neither an Englishman nor Ameri-
can had anything to do with it. and Vene-
zuela will probably never hear Of it. 1t
occurred in the city of New York. The
combatants were two Irishmen They
were arrested by a German policeman, a
Hebrew lawyer appeared for one of them
and an Irish judge decided the case. The
affair will not therefore, form a part Of
the records of the Presidents commits
sion.