New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1895-04-20
THE TALK or THE DAY.

A young Englishman ION his uppers' in Boston
left word at various teachers agencies that he
was prepared to teach the true English accent
He got some pupils.
slgnidcant.-"Did you know Jack had changed
the name Of his new mare from Sa!lie TO Mother
no Why"
because she interferes"- (Boston Beacon.
The Boston Transcript thinks it would be
good thing FOR this country 10 sell its sxty-cent
dollars 10 China for ninety cents. and then for
China TO pay them over to Japan at par.
The Principal Direrence.-"Pve heard your
preacher half dozen times" said the boy who was
whiting a stick. You people pay him $1,000
year He amt BIT BIT better'n our preacher and
yes. but our preacher says eyeiher and nyether.
ing his knife on his shoe.-(ChicagO Tribune.
THE Outlook says an American who re-
Gently travelling in Europe visited the Vatican and
asked see the cattle pens. The attendant was
very much surprised and said: Cattle pens? Why,
We have nothing OF the sort signor." The response
Where in the world do you keep the Papal
bulls"
He Loved Aprilx"There's nothing more beaeutifaII
80 do l." he answered. ferventy.
You. too are fond Of nature. then
Yes indeed. Besides, have note coming due
on the LIST OF May."VWashington Star.
While the Governor OF the State OF New-York
has been issuing proclamatons offering rewards
for the discovery Of the now recaptured convict
Perry. Frances Chief Magistrate is seriously
sidering the policy OF procaiming reward for the
discovery OF the Whereabouts OF the sardine. The
latter, which constitutes the chief means OF exist
ence OF most OF the seaside population OF France
has disappeared in a most mysterious manner. not
only from the coasts Of that country but also from
those OF Spain and Portugal well. and within q
short space OF time the entire sardine industry in
hes vii be AT a
The Cheerful IDIOT notice" said the scientific
boarter. that they have succeeded in making very
fair bread from wood"
II suppose" Clipped in the Cheerful Idiot. he
opening, that IL would be more pa.atabs
II spread with little log jan" indianapolis Jour
nal
An Episcopal clergyman passing his vacation In
Indiana struck an old farmer, who declared that
he was Episcopal" ITO what parish do you
belong?" asked the clergyman. Don't know
nawthin bout emmy parish" the answer.
well, them" continued the cergyn an, what do
cese do you belong to-" They aint nawthin' like
that round here" said the farmer. who con-.
hrmed you. then" was the next question. NO
body" answered the farmer. Then how you
Epscopalian? asked the clergy man. WE'LL"
was the reply you see. it's this way. Last winter
went down to Arkansas vistin, and while l
there went TO church. and It was called Piscopa.
and l herd them say that they'd left undone the
things what they'd oughter done and they had
done some things whot they oughten done and
says to myself. says l. That's my fix. exactly and
ever since | considered myself Piscopalean." The
clergyman shook the old fellows hand and laugh
ingly said: NOW l understand, my friend, why the
membership OF our church Is so large"
Misplaced Metaphors ditor-Dld you see the
complimentary notice save you yesterday?
who says I've got plenty OF sand, that the milk I
sell is of the first water. that there are no flies on
the market may mean well, but he is not the man
want to Halter me Il second time.-(Boston
Beacon.
Says THE Worcester Gazette AT the time
when James Il. Macks secured his contract to
travel as n RUDE with the Forepaugh show.
related in the Timely Notes yesterday, there was
a little after incident. which Macks has since been
In the habit of relating with great gee although
at the time the laugh on him. Shortly after
tho contract was signed Macks met some OF his
friends who the show grounds 10 con-
graduate him on the success OF his plan to secure
an engagement. Yes Macks was saying TO
little group OF friends who were clustered about
him. 4 was In great luck have struck the old
man for $40 week and expenses. Just then ne
glanced over his shoulder and there stood the old
man at his back. You thought YOU were smart.
didn't your said Forepaugh why, you young
fool I would have given you 500 week rather
than have lost YOU Macks made great hit
everywhere with the Forepaueh Show. and re-
manned with 1t for five or six years getting .
much better salary after the first season. Inc
first time Macks appeared in Chicago with the
show procession getting In the way OF everybody
with his country wagon, he was arrested thirteen
times I'm one day. but quickly set at liberty
when tho police learned that he was part OF the
show"
Fogg-What do you mean by saying that the
thing can't he done? Gouger says II can be done'
and (fouger is the best authority In the whole WORLD
suppose you will admit that? . 49, a..
Fenderson--Oh. OF course! III Gouger says
ha hay
Flgg (after Fendersons departure)-Who ~ TINS
Gouger? And is he such an authority upon the mat
ter? a.. ,,.,
: Fogg-Never heard OF him IN my life; don't know
there is such person. probably there isn't TX tnsre
is don't know whether he Is an authority iou lthn
or any other question: Boston TraSsSEtpt ,,.s