The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1895-02-13
All Sorts OF Paragraphs.

"A recent murder in Gorham, No,
was the first that occurred there since
it was incorporated, $50 years ago.
The young woman who is looking
for man of perfect disposition should s
choose one who can tend some one
else's baby.
Longtime you in favor-of a.
gold basis ?" Short-"Silver is good
enough for me. Have 1you spare
quarter ?"
What is the difference between
an editor and wife O. One sets arti.
cles to rights, and the other writes
articles to set.
"A philosopher who had married
an ignorant girl used to callh Drown
sugar." because, he said, she wasi
sweet but unrefned.
= The dog never fails to let per-
son know that he is glad to see him.
Some good men are so. peculiar that
they don't do this.
=" "What did the editor get for his
Christmas ?" A gold collarubutton.'
"Well, isn't he satisfied 2" ssNo
Now he wants shirt ~
Grandma-''You are just like u
clock, aren't you, dear ?" Johnnie
(who has other thoughts Of clocks)
"How's that ? Got works inside Of
me ?"
j. W. Jones, Of Robertson, KY,
has found a pearl on which is the per-
feet outline Of a mans hand. Seen
through a microscope even the veins
appear. 1t is valued by experts at
$3.50.
= This is the way Georgia darkey
handled the Queens English recently:
II doan' in ginerly buy on credit, but.
at dis particular conjunction Iwould
like to git a little resistance on 80
days return" s
He-How does it happen that
none of you women has come forward
with new currency plan (? She -Oh,
we already have perfect one j When
we need currency, we just sit down (
and cry for it.
The population Of London is said
to be 5,948,30 and increasing at the
rate of 100000 year. The city,
therefore, has population Of about
100000 more than Scotland and
/ 100000 more than ireland. q
Teacher-Why did you hit Willie
Winkum with stone :? Little Johnny
-He-he got mad and looked like as :
if he'd like to hit me with something,
so I JUS chucked the stone oyersto
him so he could throw it at me.
The largest check ever drawn on
bank was paid few days ago to Z
Thomas A. Mcintyre Of Brooklyn.
The check was drawn by G.. W -Yeg,
presisgt of the United States Ms
gage company, and was for s12,278,-
750.
RUDY's PILE Suppos1roRY, is guar
anteed to cure Piles and Constisati s
or money refunded. 50cents perTo7!S
Send stamp for circular and Free SAM:
pie to MARTIN RUDY, Lancaster, Pa.S
For sale by Wilhite & White, drug
gista. -
Judge: IT understand the plaS
tiff is suing for horse" Attorney
eyes, your Honor, but there seems to
be a hitch about the evidence
Judge: "Well, you can't saddle the
responsibility on the court. Let the
case proceed"
Mrs. Emily Thorne, who resides
at Toledo, Washington, says she has
never been able to procure any medi-
cine for rheumatism that relieves the
pain SO quickly and efectually as /
Chamberlain's Pain Balm, and that
she has also used it for lame back with
great success. For sale by Hill Bros.
George S. White, known as the
cattle king Of Mendocino County,
CAL, has been ordered by the Califor-
MIA Superior Court to pay his wife,
who has secured divorce from him,
100000 for her separate estate. The
divorce case has been continually in
the courts during the past ten years.
= It is a wise providence that we
cannot see the future. We can see
through one pane of glass easily, but
through ten placed together we cannot
see, yet each is transparent. By liv-
ing day at time we get along well
and all is clear, although we cannot
see through all the purposes Of Gcd
concerning us.
Nicholas Hallock, Of Queens, l..
l., engraved his name on silverquar-
ter in 1874. 1t continued in circula-
tion until few days ago, when it was
taken in change by the railroad agent
at Queens. AS the name was still
decipherable after the coins fifty
years Of wandering, the agent turned
it over to Mr.. Hallock.
The little creature5 which bears
the distinction of owning more legs
(and feet) than any other known or
ganized being, is the millipede, which
literally means 'sthousand-footed."
There are several species Of these curl
GUS worms, all possessing the charac-
teristic of having many-segmented
body, each segment provided with
pair of legs. Unlike the centipedes-
d-footed"-tbev are perfectly