Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-05-09
SprinkIes of Spice.

y
ries for money is a fool?" HE is,
unless he gets it in advance. Indian
apolis Journal.
Fuddy-The villain! But you made
him swallow his words?" buddy
How could l, when they were SO bit
ter?-Boston Transcript
"Want any mouse traps? Come buy
one, dor "No, thanks; we have no
mice" Zach, I'll throw 'em in with
pleasurev' -Humoristisches.
WOOL don't see how a dealer can
afford to iron all the silk hats he sells
Van Pelt-Has to do it; they'd last too
long it he didn' t.-Harlem Life.
BEG pardon, but what did you say
was the name of your Kentucky
friend?' 'Col. Vandewater." ''Col.
Vande-what?"-C Tribune.
Jaggers (weakly facetious) - TIL
think I was burglar. m dear? Mrs.
Jaggers-No! A burglar wouldn't have
taken half the time to get in!-Life.
Blobbs- What's the difference be-
tween gloves and policemen? Slobbs
Give it up. Blobbs-Well, gloves are
usually on hand.-Philadelph Rec
ord.
Miss McFlirter-I have refused seven
offers Of marriage since last season.
Miss G.. Vere--Quite a straightforward
performer, aren't you?-New York
Ledger.
Wife-Mrs. Ailer has gone abroad to
be treated by a Partisan physician.
Husband-So? She always had a pre-
objection for French heels.-Boston
| Transcript.
"Why do you punch that hole in my
ticket?" asked little man Of the rail
road conductor. $50 you can pass
| through was the reply.--Boston Com
mercial Bulletin.
81 see you have a safe in your din
| ing-room," said Perkins. who was Wis
iting farley. us that for your silver"
mo; that's my wine-cellar," said Jar
ley.-Harper's Bazaar.
Mrs. Kicksey-Why do you suppose
| the high hat is making so much trou-
BILE? Kicksey-Because there's Wo-
| man at the bottom of it, Of COURSE
| Philadelphia Inquirer.
"Jinkins, l believe you have some
of the elements of Il success about
| you.'' mot dollar, old man. Honor
bright You'd be welcome to it if l
."-Chicago Tribune.
"Will you have the chicken dress
ed?' asked the poulterer. NO." re-
II
may send it to me-er-in the alto
gether." -Washington Star.
| First Actor-What, don't you like
this play? | know one man, now, who
thinks it is simply great Second Act
or-Who is that? First Actor--The
| author.-Somerville Journal.
Prospective Tenant Ito agenD-You
say this house is just a stones throw
! from the depot. Well, all | have to
say is l have great admiration for the
man who threw the stone.-Life.
"Yes,' remarked the telephone girl
as she gaZed out at the waves and
wondered what their number was, Il
am connected with the best families
in our y."-Indianapolis Sentinel.
Bouncing lawyer-'"Then you are pre-
pared to swear that the parties came
to high words?" Coster witness-''Nay.
I didna say that. should say they was
particularly low words. . Sheffield
| Week.
Don't you think that a good many
of these Easter bonnet jokes are over
| drawn?" she inquired. Eyes," replied
her cherries husband; "and good
many bank accounts" -Washington
! Star.
Johnny Smart-'Therc's a big differ
ence between my teacher and 4 streak
of lightning" Mrs. Smart-"How 50,
SOM Johnny Smart-'He strikes sew
eral times in the same place. "-Phila-
delphia Inquirer.
| She-"I think there is considerable
room for improvement in ladies' dress
| es nowadays" He-"Well, in the
/ sleeves especially, | should say there
was room enough for almost any
thing "-Yonkers Statesman.
/ Professor-'"To what did Xenophon
owe his reputation" Student-'Prin-
cipally to the fact that his name COM
menced with x, and came in SO handy
! for headlines in alphabetical copy
| books.'-Pearson's Weekly.
i Mrs. Gray Ito friend who has been to
| the prayer meeting)-"Did you have
good meeting?" Mrs. White-"Rather
uninteresting. None of the men who
spoke had ever done anything bad
| Boston Transcript.
| Hoax-'1 see they have a new name
for those high buildings which are be-
| ing erected" Joax-"Indeed? What is
! it," Hoax-"They are called serial
buildings, because they are continued
stories. "-Philadelphia Ledger.