The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-02-24

ter than anything on earth, while on
his cheek the soft touch of Tatters's
little cold nose told it's own story.
After this it is understood that the in
tervfew was no longer conducted strict
ly on business principles, but as Mr.
and Mrs. Archibald are the happiest
couple know, and Tatters's portrait is
one of their most valued possessions, /
suppose that Anne's claim that her first
investment is her best may be con-
sidered proved.
Certainly nobody disputes that Teddy
Archibald is a lucky man.
#. NJ Armstrong, in Frank Leslie's II
lustrated Weekly.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
A supernuity.
Mother1Your penwiper has never been
Little Johnny-Don't need it. My new
pants is black.
Mans Age by ADJUSTMENTS.
Baby-Bawl
Boy-Baseball.
Youth-Footbau.
Man-French ball. -
Not Guilty.
Pastor (reprovingly)- that a poker
Deacon Cndi gnantlys-No. sir, / didn't
have a single chip when quit last night.
Difference In the Point of view.
Somerville Journal.
Miss Twenty-eight-Isn't it strange how
the custom of sending valentines has fallen
Miss Eighteen (demurely)-I hadn't no
ticed it.
Puck
Washington nefer toldt lie?
Misftski (clothier)-ATy son, I peleef it
yos, so; but he would nefer hat succeeded
In der gloading peesnees.
A Change from the Old Way.
Detroit Free Press.
He-They married in haste
she--And. of course. repented at leisure?
she-No?
No. They repented the same way.
Past and Present Education.
Good News.
Grandfather-Never cut knot, my son;
Grandson (who goes to schooD-What?
And get my hands full Of microbes from the
fingers of the person who tied it? think
it's cheaper to cut it, grandpa.
From a Professional Standpoint.
Puck.
First Lawyer-Seems to be an epidemic
of embezzlement and that sort of thing.
Second Lawyer-Yes; and there is one
First Lawyer1What is that? '--o4 una &C.
Second Lawyer-Nearly all Of them are
pleading guilty
A sickening Mixture.
New York Weekly.
Professor vogner-vat hat you dere?
Little Daughter-A box of candy and a
book .elS, OF opera -. airs.
italian operas?'
Vat! You make yourself sick NIT so
much sweet stuff. Put the book away
Fooled Him.
Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
Now, sir, I've found you out" exclaimed
Belletield. when he met Bloomfield on the
Found me out. have you? Well. I'd
just Sn IKE to know what you accuse me Off,
at home, it is perfectly clear that have
Avoided the Subject.
New York Weekly.
Winks-Did McKick have much to say
you were there?
Minks-Well no. You see. just after +
him. The railroad freight on it for a hun
dred miles was quarter; the cartmans
charge for hauling it six blocks was fifty
cents.
One Thing She Can Drive.
Detroit Tribune.
They met by strange chance.
"A woman is driving me-" moaned the
II know just how uncertain you feel"
sighed the Nail.
II don't understand you at ALL" observed
the Bargain frankly.
The Horse and the Nail contemplated the
Bargain obviously
Why He Kept Silent.
New York Weekly.
American Host--It seems to me rather
q singular fact that in all your CONVERSE
tons you have never mentioned Goethe
German Guest-Vell you see how id is
If pronounce his name as you Americans
pronounce i'd, my Sherman friendts will
laugh at me; and If / pronounce id gor-
rectly, my American friendts will nod
know who / am dalking aloud.
Cultivated Convict.
New York Weekly.
Prison Missionary--My friend, are you
not repentant for your past misdeeds?
Convict-Repent nawtEin- You better go
back to school an finish yr edication.
My friend, am thoroughly familiar with
the Bible
Jaw, come off, Just you study up tn,
science o. sociology. an you'll find I am
simply product of environment-thats the
sort of hairpin l am.
His Allment
New York Times.
A small uptown boy, who accompanied
his mother to church on a recent Sunday.
grew pretty restless before the sermon was
over. He finally crept up close to her and
whispered Mamma, mamma, I feel sick
do your" asked his mother. rather
anxiously. why, where or how do you