The herald., 1895-04-29
A ROMANCE
WITHOUT A | EGINNING OR
AN ENDING

y
cruelty vivid again are all that time has
left of the sweetest romance of life.
could not hope for sweeter-and would
not-but OH how brief it was! Seven let
tiers and memory. Oh, yes, and photo
graph, which 1 cannot destroy, and yet
which brings unshed tears to my eyes
when 1 chance upon it some lonely even
ing.
romance with no beginning and no
end. Fate brought us together. and loved
her Fate gave her great sorrow to bear
and 1 loved her more and more. Then
fs.te or madness, parted lis. never knew
ii she loved mo then. L read in her words,
her letters and in her eyes at parting that
she dreamed of love, but sho was young
and lonely-perhaps she only felt my sym
pathy, and grew happy under kindness
did not realize at first how impossible
my hope was. My youthful dabbling in
literature assumed new Importance. I
was to lay fame at her feet in place of the
wealth l did not possess. My writings
were characterized by new energy. The
Leader accepted them. She read them and
said: Il liked your last sketch. l liked
your verses in Saturdays paper 1t al
most seemed to me that fame had come. I
aimed higher. The editor of monthly
magazine published a poem-for it was "a
poem, being inspired by love Of her--and
sent with the check kindly encouraging
letter. This was the beginning of my ro-
nance, but there was no end.
she was wealthy, while must hesitate
between two scarfs, and choose the cheaper
one. l must write sometimes what l
knew would sell readily, though knew as
truly that the writing was not good.
was going through the university with the
minimum assistance from home, and liter
allure in manuscript does not pass current
for board. The struggle was unpleasant
but not hopeless. And what a goal to
strive toward! Oh, Janet, l hope you may
never know how one man loved you!
Then her uncle came. How clearly he
showed mo what was mot advisable and
chow the world looks at these matters.
Janet is young, and she was lonely when
she knew you first" Alas! realized that
he was right "Janet docs not yet love
you. Will you be cruel enough to make
her love you if you CAM" l made no
promise but could not forget "cruel to
Janet" And yet my love was cruelty.
Fame is so far away from man; hunger
and storm so near. I used to think that if
enough to take wealth as a gift from her,
l could have made her happy. No one who
shall como after can love her more tender
ly than 1 have. But that mad thought has
passed.
Our meetings became more formal The
last time / called the piazza was crowded
with her uncle's friends. We talked be-
hind the vines where we had sometimes
fingered until we We're scolded like two
children. There were the same ivies, the
same stars twinkling through the leaves,
but Janet and l were changed. l have for
gotten if she gave me her hand in greet
ing We talked commonplace and parted
like mere acquaintance.
So the romance ended-with no end
Would that we had quarreled If l had
made her jealous and she had sent me
away in her anger, it would be well. But
loved her too sincerely for that. If had
found her false, how easily l could hate
her. But the romance has no end. Sum-
mcrs and winters have passed, not many,
but long. I have spent several vacations
in her city, but have never seen her. A
friend of hers is one of my classmates. We
often meet officially, but her name is never
mentioned.
My ambition is exhausted My home is
distant. i have friends, but to them I am
only clever failure. They cannot guess
that even youth may have history.
When / met Janet, l was not wealthy.
Now l am worse. Mrs Osmond, who pro-
vides the shingles above on which the
March rain is just now drumming so mu
sically, and who clears up my desk once
week by throwing valuable papers in tho
wastebasket, has asked me, Gould you let
me have little money soong" Mrs. Os-
mond is tragically polite, but she's bust
ncsslike. Mrs. McKcon whose plain but
honest board is supposed to be paid for in
advance, has begun TO place my little
memorandum of account" in obtrusive at
titudes by my plate, and call attention to
it by blockhouse of glasses and butter
dish. The mail is unpleasantly full of
business communications these days. |
used to wait for the postman, hoping jan
cts letter will come today.
There are only seven Of them and a
memory And still the romance has no
end. 1 will graduate in June. My diploma
is forthcoming, though my heart knows
that for the last two years have done lit
tie work worthy of any reward.
1 shall graduate in June. And what
then? What should become rich for, if I
could? There is the army. Once hoped
to be an officer. But a private does not
starve, and B. A. ought in time to merit
cheverons. This is worth the effort. In
the quiet and monotony of the life might
forget what is so sweetly bitter to remcm-
ber And if war should come, the shut in
energy of life would find an outlet.
But if I should walk in the city and see
her once more, l think the madness would
win. How love and pride, or love and rea-
son would war together! But still the ro-
nance has no end, since it had no begin
ning.-Exchange.