The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1895-12-25
PURLOINED PLUMAGE.

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PURLOINED PLUMAGE.
She-''Why does a woman take man:
name when she gets married?" He
why does she take every thing else he's
got?'-Truth.
Not Quite an Expert.-Johnson-"H low
are you getting along with your bicycle
riding?' Observation-Disclosures ] can dc
everything except chew gum."-Puck-
Aunt Fanny-"Goodness. Tommy! What
a lot of toys Santa Claus has brought
your Papa-"Yes. indeed, Tommy has
toys enough to last him a couple OF days. -
! Puck.
Mrs. Suburb-'1 thought you said 1t was
the little boy next door who was making
/ all the noise?'' Little Johnnie-'So ii
was. ma. was hitting him with a
/ stick"-Tid-Bits
| Agert--'why didn't you take the resi-
| dence 1 recommended 10 you?" Parvenu
1t is so near the opera house that my
wife couldn't have used her carriage
Fhegende Batter.
''How IS II that see you no more with
Mss Sweetser?" Oh, that's all over.
kissed her, and she fired me; that's all
there is about IT. l see; salute for sa-
lutte" Boston Transcript.
Mrs. Mcbride (eDtering the k.tchen)-
Bridget, didn't see that policeman kiss
you? Bridget-Wen. mum. sure an yez
wouldn't hev me lay mesih open 10 arrzst
for res3stin' an officer, mum.-Clipped.
THAT makes thirteen times I've kissed
you, darling" he said. as he put on his
hat in the doorway at II p. m. "Oh.
George, thirteen is an unlucky number"
she answered thoughtfully.-Fam Call.
Judge-And now, my good man. what
made you kiss this lady? Cunning Gull
prtt-Your honor, my inherited love OF
beauty. Miss Passee-Judge-er- do not
think III prosecute any further!-Syra-
cuse Post.
See the young woman. Is the young
woman being suddenly and Unexpectedly
k.ssed?" "Ah, yes" And does the young
woman raise a hue and cry?'' Tine young
woman raises a slight hue, but no cry
Detroit Tribune.
Pat-Helfo, Mike, OF hear yez have a 400
job? Mike-Shure have, Pat. Pat
And how are they all up yure way? Mike
Everybody sick. Pat-Aye, ayei That's
too bad, mani Mike-Oh, no; I'm workin'
at Bellevue.-HarQer's Bazaar.
She (sentinentslly)-In the spring all
nature smiles. the birds WOO. lovers kiss;
but, All, now comes winter. He-I know
more things that kiss all the year round,
and never change She-Imposable.
What? He (calmIy)-BnHard balLs.-New
York Dispatch
Boy-Say. mon, busted my ball
Mother-You shouldn't say bust. John:
you should say burst Boy-That's what
teacher SAID. but when the principal asked
me who that was / said 1t was burst o.
General Washington and he licked me. 20
1 thought 1 would stick 70 ust."-Truth.
eff we had trouble with England" said
the sad-eyed reporter whose copy always
needs revision before Il goes 10 the print |
ers. 81 have a request 20 make Weir |
said the city editor. I'D Ike 20 go az /
war correspondent. 7 can speak the EEg- |
lish language. II cant write iL"-Chi- |
cago Tribune.
Rival Dign.ties. -EEghshnaai prcdgc- I
ing a pocket c0sn)-.My grest-great- I
grandfather was made lord 81 The king 1
whose picture you see on thss shilling"
Yankee with q similar ges-1rej-".what /
q coincidence, Ny great Era-ldtzsh-
er was made al angel By the Indian whose
pfcture you see Ok this cenE"-Pgck
'Micky" sad Ny. Do}aa 20 hss son.
"Of Do be afraid ye'rs Eettia' % t. a
dude" II s7oTe nos- Wei. Orve 10
;ioe9 yez wesr.-' yer sandsy Globes ~
week trough. ar t.ls< ye gave - yes
100 fl ne blacksmith shop. - walt %
say. Sid0uI hz-T7zFa I'll say bazsy's fs-z..T. q.
thai in 90 yex 10 hun q be rosIa' Up
yer sleeves more az yer trOGs1Ts iess>"-
washington STAR