davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-03
Hotel Guests Who Will Not Register,

The average guest at a first-class ho-
tel puts his fist on the register and
takes what the lord of the rooms gives
him meekly and uncomplainingly.
There are rooms and rooms, says the
Washington Post, just as there are
hotels and hotels; and when the hotels
are crowded it takes an experienced
and determined man to get the best
or woman. No hotel clerk has ever
yet stood up before the onslaught of a
lovely female bent on having a front
room lighted ON two sides and not
higher than the third story. But there
is another class of the jewellers in tents
the men who never register. Every
hotel has them, and Washington hotels
more than any other city. Here it
means the game of politics. The man
who wants an Office, and is afraid his
rivals are going toput up combinations
against him, will slip into his hotel
and tell the clerk that he does not
want to be seen or put on the book,
and the clerk tells him that it is all
right. In some cities such actions
would be rightly regarded as suspi-
cious, but not in Washington. The
leading hotels will average two a dav
during the first year of new admins
tration; after that they drop off to two
week, but it is popularity Of Wash
ingtOn hotels
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-03
HE BEAT THE RECORD.
That was Not RemarkabIe, COnsid
eF1nV His Training.


When the report got around that a
youthful tenderfoot had come to
Deadman's Gulch with the avowed in
tention of starting a saloon, COM
mittee of the best citizens called upon
him. Lead-tooth Bill, chairman of
the committe, opened the proceedings
by remsrking:
"Say, young Teller, do you think
you kin handle pisin fer poperlation
like this? What's yer record? Have
you killed yer man YETI"
"Well," replied the tenderfoot
smiling, 81 think may say that p
1--WE don't want to know what you
think you may say" interrupted the
chairman. ave want to know il
you're fit to 'sociate with gentlemen
like us. There is not one in this
crowd who has not drowned his man
There's Connors, he killed three Bill
Dawson stiffened out FIVE, Buck Sands
has nine to his credit and have four.
teen notches on my stick, and each
notch means business, too. Now,
young Teller, what have you done to
show your fitness for citizenship in
the municipality"
"Let me see," answered the tender
foot with reminiscent smile. al
the last one died in the hospital after
l left the city, and feel sure she did
my record for four months was ninety.
eight-twenty-one men, thirty-two
women and forty-five children. Lam
still in doubt about one man, go
don't count
A roar OF incredulity went up from
the committee.
"What do you mean?" shouted
the chairman. "Are you tryin' to
guy the citizens OF"
mot so, / assure you," replied the
tenderfoOt, looking surprised. 81 WAS
giving you my actual record. You
see, during those four months / was
motorman on a Brooklyn trolley car,
and"-
Enough! We believe you" cried
the committee, in chorus; and they
carried the tenderfoot in triumph
through the town.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-03
TO PREACH TO US,
A Man Must BE Cicero. Chrysostom an,
Augustine at Once.

A Man Must BE Cicero. Chrysostom and
Augustine at Once.
The preacher must be q man of fine
presence, awe-inspiring and, if possible,
philosophical and pensive, logical, po-
etical and fanciful, asserts writer in
the St. Louis Republic He must also
see the humorous side of things, and
be the center of the social circle, and
must likewise possess the ability to
touch the feelings. He must not only
weep with those that weep but must
make those who do not weep at least
moisten their dry orbs.
Beyond this he must cause mirthful
smiles to glisten on the half-dried tears
that he may have started. He must in
his elOquence be q Cicero. He must be
pious without seeming to be SO, for
there is no offense more obnoxious than
cant and lOng-facedness. though he may
employ the undertaken tones at funer-
ais. Smartness and novelty must be
possessed, even if they trench on sacred
associations. -
He must not be oblivious to the funny
side of serious things, for he must draw
like poultice, developing the financial
side of the church. The pews must be
filed. Railway companies and banks
and corporations of every kind may re-
fuse to pay dividends, but the church
must pay through good and bad times.
The pastor must be one of those monde
script financiers who can do better Pc
cuniarily for everybody else than for
themselves, and it is commonly under.
stood to be ''the prerogative of divine
grace to keep him humble and of the
church to keep him poor"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-03

tuuEht by Ills Better Half IN IA Plain Ace
of

OF reception
When Nr kccdlrli reached home the
other evening. LAS the New York
Mercury. he w.k confronted hv avery
an-rv vito. He Lad scarcely got ia
>r!" The door and hung his hat on the
hai. rarh hrforc -hr hlurtcl ont:
you've rpt 4 nov tvpcA ritcr..'
"N"ll Ie-." replied kredick. low
did You tir4d il nut
'-Oh. I'm up u y,nr c0inCs on. can
tell you. You got your new typewriter
yesterday"
Il DID Who told you"" -
we'll. if You must know, il was Mrs.
GasketI. Her husband told her. You
needn't think you can keep things
from me"
Il have no desire to. dear"
Don't dear me. Your typewriter IL
only about eighteen years old?'
AS nearly as ! can Judge of ages, I
should say That va, about right"
And has melting, brown eyes," Mrs.
kc,.,iirli went on. Indignantly.
'l'oNsihly. hu; haven't noticed them
doing any melting.
"bh. no. OF course not. With q soft
voice and charming manners"
'l"u are nearly right"
Nearly right, know I'm quite
right" exclaimed the Jealous woman.
NOW, want You To tell me the name
of the forward creature
You want the name Of my typo
writer?'
'Yc, do"
What for?"
Never mind what for. I want your
typewriters name"
1t is John Henry Simpson. What
are you going to do about it?"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-03
EXPENSIVE ADVICE
Two Hundred Dollars for One Word from
~ . Lawyer.

Two Hundred Dollars for One Word from
T 1t is not often piece Of legal advice
costs two hundred dollars a word, but
yet this recently happened in this city,
says the indianapolis News. Not long
ago Morris Butler, son Of John NJ. But
Ter, who had just arrived at home from
an evening party at two o'clock in the
morning, heard carriage drive up to
the house, and a moment later answered
a ring at the door bell. A young man
of handsome face and energetic man.
ner blurted out without ceremony:
'What states can cousins legally marry
imp" II don't know" said Mr.. Butler,
rs soon as he could recover from the
effects of his visitors bluntness, but
will ask father" He went upstairs,
and, after much knocking, aroused his
father. Father" said he. what states
can cousins legally marry in?" Exam
sas," was the single word in response,
between what sounded suspiciously like
snores. Mr.. Butler returned down.
stairs. "Well, what does he say?"
asked the visitor. Kansas" replied
Young Butler, laconically. "Thank
your The door was closed and the
Young visitor was gone. Nothing fur
Their was thought Of the incident until
Yesterdays mail brought Mr.. Butler a
certified check for two hundred dollars
sor legal advice" from his hitherto un'
known client. This is probably the
highest rate per word ever paid for legal
advice. 1t divides into one hnndr ID dol
lars per syllable and thirty-three dollars
and thirty-three cents per letter.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-03
OVER STEEL RAILS,

MAIL car No. 500 on the Erie railroad
'sregarded as unlucky by trainmen.
THEY are seriously discussing in
England the project of building
:antilever bridge 100 feet high, and
,arrying two railway tracks. across the
English channel. The estimated cost
Is $173, .5O,O 900.
SECoND-CLAss carriages were abol-
shed on the Cambrian railways in
Wales on May i. The only classes now
viii be first and third. The abolition
If the intermediate class is becoming
general ON railroads in Great Britain.
PAYsoS TUCKER, the general man
ager OF the Maine Central railroad, re-
gently adopted the novel social ex-
pedient of entertaining his friends at
the station in Portland, having a recep-
ton in the offices and a dinner in the
station dining-room.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-03
FADS OF THE DAY.

PRESERVED ginger is being fashion
ably handed around with the ice
course.
THE fashionable dogs in Paris at
present are the big French poodle in
black. brown or white, and the ungain-
ly Danish boarhound.
A NEW notion which might be ap-
piled to some of the restaurant menus
for the benefit of customers untutored
in French is to have the dishes num-
bered, as well as titled, in an unknown
tongue.
THE latest fad to be INDUCED in by
the seashore this summer is ''pontho.
NANCY" or fate by footprints. 1t has
superseded palmistry, and now it will
be possible to tell by the toe joints and
curves whether you are amiable or not,
why you are not happy though mar.
ried, and all the rest.
AT dinner given in Paris in honor
of a young girl who had just entered
society, all the table furnishings, deco
rations, and as many of the foods served
rs possible, were entirely white. The
guests were twelve young girls, all
dressed in white and with powdered
hair. The servants wore white liver
laG-
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-03
A PRINCE IN DISGUISE.

a Young Caucasian Who Served on -
American Vessel as Ordinary Seaman.
In connection with the wreck of the
American ship Robert L. Belknap on
Natunas curious story has reached
the Singapore Free Press concerning
one of the shipwrecked crew, a young
ster who was serving on board the ves-
Sci as an ordinary seaman, and who is
said to be a Russian prince. Inqui-
ries were made about him at Yoko-
hama by the Russian consul, and he
was found at work with the rest of the
crew. 1t is reported that these inqui-
ries were the result of telegraphic in
structions from st. Petersburg to find
the youngster. These have been fol-
lowed and the youngster has been sent
home in a Russian man-of-war.
The boy is question is spoken of as
clever inguist- but with nothing else
in particular to distinguish him from
the others serving on the vessel A
stoutiy built young fellow of eighteen
or nineteen, he speaks English fairly
well and has pleasant, agreeable
manner. But there was not much of
the prince in his appearance, dressed
as he was in ordinary seaman's cos
tune. He did not wish to give any
other name than Alexis, and smilingly
declined to say very much about his
people. He admitted coming from the
Caucasus, and added: MY father was
more than q prince before we became
tributary to Russia" His wanderings
he attributed to a desire to see the
world, but would not give further par
ticulars of why he left home. His
journeyings appear to have taken him
first through the Mediterranean, then
to New York, whence he made a voy-
age to the West Indies. Then he said
he thought of going home, but "a
good time" at Havre induced him to
proloug his journeyings. -~-vs
The Russian consul at Yokohama
went to look him up and found him
chipping rivets in the hold. He showed
much respect and endeavored to make
him leave the vessel, but Alexis said he
liked Mr.. Moore, the chief officer, and
was not yet tired of free life. When
the Robert L. Belknap was lost Alexis
was told off to the second mates boat
and was one of the five who were in
the water when she capsized. The six
hours in the water, the drifting down
to Linggi and the hardships he endured
seemed to have convinced him that
there are worse fates than being q
prince in Russia, and he naively said:
ssNow have seen the world, will 20
home"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-03
A Busy Household.

Busy-handed must have been the
women-folk Of a century and a half
ago. 1t is recorded that one family in
Newport, r. l., made in the space of
eighteen months four hundred and
eighty-seven yards of cloth-carding.
spinning, dyeing and weaving every
inch of material used, and also accom-
plished the knitting of thirty-six pairs
of stockings-not the thin, delicate
and often flimsy hosiery seen nova
days, but such as would bear much
heavy use and even be handed down
to posterity." 1t is added that another
Newport family distinguished them
selves by making, in the space OF four
years, nine hundred and eighty yards
OF wooden cloth, two coverlets, two
bedticks, and all the stockings needed
for the family.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-03
THE STORMY PeTREL,
queer superstitIons 1T olI sailors .Abou



'ne of the test &i..-r .t, "a
o.fos Is III" -'"rtt. sr':. l. Is
'''tneSt seen t.:.i.- Ia. -t.- : ..-
h"'Nt tAV waves il ~,Ii, ,'... ~.....-
i'Nh and other sIua1 ai.ua .a.' ar,
drought t"tEr surface ;. -, tr,i.i,.>'
says II Nicholas Ih. ....r~ ,..I
Pe'rclS Neither tA:,t.- ,.a.,..i,..
anu do not view ,h,li.. ,>.tt, iuu, :a,..r
OWING t. their l'tu-- Cd. ~'tI.' ..,lt.l...r-
IONS 81 storms 'Ia,D tA.tt- 'tat
rough Weather mhl ,>t..,;,t ..A,n
ne Secs pctr,l> about and j., aut ,!u.tc
sure that th"y 40 u". % ~su.r ~ay
cause III" tempest. When 'h,. htrI -
ON tn" l""k"ut FIR IL pre- J.: Sums u
walk "n ti'' water. ll.ur,. III. -,..
men 81 often TIM ia Illu>iun - th,.
Apostle Peters Na.n.u-- Oh the water,
called the bird pctrcl. from the Latin
fctrcllu>. Little lct.r
;" FAR from the salIur h.iu4. ~upcr-
Sili'u> as To the capture ~ another
kind II petrol, the cap,. pigeon. which
Is az black and white color AID about
the size Of tame pigeon. ! have
known Jack" To- talk = land "cca-
slohaIiy IN capturing th,n a. n bit Il
recreation during n lug-,vatch.
In southern latitude, the cape ,-
ge"ns follow a ship in Thousands y
common bottle cork / tied t. tn. end
OF piece of thread aid trailcd a~'crn
:" that the cork touches the water.
This gives the required tautncs, To- the
thread
AS the birds fly in cl,lio- from side
To SIDE astern some uf ti.rn constantly
strike the thread with their wings and
the resistance is enough t. turn them
over it, when the thread j. wrapped
around the wing aud th,. bird i hauled
on board. In this manner have seen
hundreds caught in a day
On one occasion Il clipper ship carry
ing paSscE@"rS Ia India captured
pigeon, 10y hundreds and the surgeon
by some miSchancc succeeded in en-
tanglinr stormy petrol
Now. the doctor was an enthusiastic
naturalist and what to the sailors is
known rs a Grandchildren" that is. he
was on his first voyage. The doctor at
once took the specimen to his cabin
and made preparations to skin and
t'NNA'S IL. III not udSlt a UtDuldllon
OF seamen, headed by the old gray
haired sail-makcr. came aft with a re-
quest that the petrol be set at liberty
saying that otherwise the ship and all
on board would surely suffer.
The doctor, somewhat Surprised, in.
tended to set the bird free, but his en-
thusiasm as n naturalist prevailed
over the snperstitious warning and
when the sailors had disappeared the
bird was added to his collection. The
fact soon became known forward
among the men and the doctor was re-
garded with black looks by the crew
Tor the remainder of the voyage.
In the course of time the good ship
anchored in the Hugh river and that
day at dinner the doctor suddenly
died
There was gathering of the sailors
around the windiass that dog-watch
and the doctors sudden death was at
tributed by the superstitious sailors to
his slaughter of the stormy petrol,
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-03
Drowning Half u Qontinene.

When the Panama canal was first
proposed great cry went up that such
n ditch" would cndanger the lives of
millions Of human beings. 1t was
argued that the waters on the Pacific
side of the isthmus were hundreds of
feet higher than they were on the At
lantic side and that the great rush of
water to even up the difference in the
level of the two oceans would drown
out all southern North America, all the
West Indies and most of Mexico and
iucatan. Wouldbe engineers and SEN
sational editors passed their opinions or
wrote yards of scare editorials on the
subject. 1t now turns out that the
Atlantic and not the Pacific is the high
er of the two oceans and that in place
of the difference IN level being hun.
dreds of feet, as had been affirmed, tn
surface of the water on the east side
the isthmus is exactly six and one-h
feet higher than it is on the west
side.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-03
RAMS HORN" GEMS.

THE man who chases bubbles will
bark his shins sooner or later.
TRUTH never builds on the sand, no
matter sw much like rock it may
look.
THE man who falls in love with his
head only never gets wife to suit
him.
\ THE hypocrite throws away his mask
whenever he feels sure that he isn't
watched.
The world is full of people who want
to do good but they are in no hurry to
commence.
PEOPLE who boast that they never
did any harm are generally those who
haven't done much good.
BOYs have been ruined because they
had to stay at home and hoe a hard
row with dull hoe when they should
have been allowed to go fishing.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-03
WORKED TO DEATH.
Tho Plumbers Assistant Turns In HI
Schedule for the Day.

Tho Plumbers Assistant Turns in Hi
Schedule for the Day.
was standing in plumbers Office
the other day. says a New York World
writer, when in came one of the men tc
give in his time to the bookkeeper. II
was about three o'clock in the after
noon, and Mike, removing his corn-col
ored gloves, was preparing to close &C
counts for that days work. Where
did you go first?" asked the bookkeeper
in a voice of deep humility. Il took a
carriage and went up to Widow Reeds
in the Bowery, where l was asked to
put three new tips on the burners.
"How much time, Mike?" "Foul
hours" las much as that?" said the
man behind the desk, in a low tone, al
you talk to me that way Ill have you
discharged" said the plumbers man
"Well, next l called coach and went
to West Fifteenth street, where mend
ed leak in the bottom of n tea-kettle
which figures three hours, then fixed
the stopcOck on the washboiler, two
hours and a half; turned on more pres
sure, two hours; total, seven hours
time" Yes" Then l ran over tc
Del's for bite to eat, for was very
much fatigued, as you can readily i'm
agine. Say, charge up two hours time
at nels. Then l noticed hole in my
gloves, and of course that would never
do, SO l ran over to Brooklyn for Q
dozen new pairs. Add ten minutes more
That makes-say an even three hours
more" Let me see," unused the clerk
'.you started out in a coupe at 1876
o'clock?" YES" "And you quit a,
three?" "Why. certainly. Haven't ]
got to dress for ball tonight" "And
You worked just eighteen hours time?'
'Oh, ho!' said the plumbers man.
YEARLY, 81 knew forgot something.
BY Jove! Say, old chappie, coming
back the L train was caught in fog,
and lost three hours more getting in
to report. Just allow the usual rates
for that. will you, please? And now
touch the button and call a coach and
let me drive for an hour in Central
park. BY Jove! this strain is getting to
be uncomfortable, to say the very least!''
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-03

Physicians generally fail to recognize.
o"-an Mise instead Of the cause of he trouble
The noted specialist, Franklin Miles. NJ. d.,
LII. b., has given the greater part of his life
To the study of this subject, and the principal
discoveries concerning it are due to his efforts.
Dr. Miles Restorative Nervine. the unri-
vailed brain and nerve food, Is prepared on the
principle that all nervous and many other
difficulties originate from disorders OF the
nerve renters. Its wonderful success In curing
THESE disorders is testified to by thousands in
every part OF the land.
Restorative Neryine cures sleeplessneSs,
nervous prostr dizziness, hystcria, sex
ual debility. st. Nitus dance. epilepsy. etc. 1t
is free from Opiates or dangerous drugs. 1t
is sold on a positive guarantee by all drug
gists, or sent direct by the DIR. Miles Medical
Co, Elkhart. Ind, on receipt of price. 81 per
bottle. six bottles for s.. express prepaid.
For sale bv all druggists.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-03
SCIENTIFIC OBSERVATIONS.

A JELLY fish of ten pounds when
dried weighs about ten grains.
THE occupants of a balloon mile
high command radius of ninety-six
niles.
THE bones and muscles of the human
body are capable of over one thousand
two hundred different movements.
PROF. SIMMANDs, of Hamburg, has
proved that flies can infect eatables.
and especially sauces, with cholera
germs.
THE imperial health officer Of Berlin
says that the juice of both the orange
and the lemon is fatal to the cholera
bacillus in few hours.
THE shark manifests distinct lik-
ing for certain races, and will eat an
Asiatic in preference to a negro, and q
European rather than either.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-03
The Human Electrical Forces
How They Control tine Organs
Of the Body.

Tho electrical force of the hum0n body. as
III" nerve fluid may b. termed, il an espe-
cIa!ly attractive department of science, as it
exert, ~ marked an influence on the health
OF the organs of the body. Nerve force Is
produced Ivy the brain and conveyed by
means nf the nerves To the various organs OF
The. h,,dy thus supplying the latter with tho
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-03

tlit. btHly, mus supply lili
vitality necessary to in
sure their health. The
pnrunO:aStric nerve, rs
shown here. may DE said
tO be the most important
OF the entire nerve SyS-
ten. "a it supplies the
heart. lungs, stomach.
bowels. etc. with the
nerve force necessary 10
keep them active and
hetllhyAs will be seen
10y the cut the long nerve
descending from h G
base o. the brain and
terminating in the bow
els i, the pneumogastric.
while the numerous lit
tie branches supply the
heart. lungs and stom-
arh with necessary vi
tality. When the brain
" 'Omes in any way dis
ordered by irritability
or exhaustion, the nerve
force which it supplies
is lcS>rned. and the or
EanS receiving the di-
miniShrd supply are con-
....,,p,Iu ,tna l-ana1
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-03
CRUELTY TO ExiLES. .
The Severe Punishment Inflicted BY
Russian Officer


Here is an instance of official cruelty
reported in a st. Petersburg journal:
The assistant of the natchalnik OF a
populous town in Irkootsk is sworn
enemy to Siberian settlers-i. c., exiles
who are at liberty to choose their own
dwelling place in Siberia. According to
his own statement he has no appetite
for dinner on any day that he does not
infiict the rod on two or three settlers.
When he orders such chastisement he
is invariably present at the execution.
and gloats over the pain and the hui
initiation of his victim. One morning,
says the New York Sun, as he sat at
his writing desk a man wrapped in
heavy cloak came in. He looked at
I'oa furtively and mistook him for the
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-03

WHEN choosing eggs, apply the
tongue to the larger end OF the egg,
and if it feels warm it may be relied
on as being fresh. Another mode of
ascertaining the freshness of an egg is
to hold it to the light, and if the egg
looks clear it will be good; if thick, it
is stale, and if there is a black spot
attached TO the shell it is worthless.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-05-03
The Worlds Most Famous PeODlC

Kings Queens Statesmen, Heroes Actors and distinguished
and in all the ranks of life full description given of
object of interest and brief biographical sketch of people
whose portraits embelsh this choice volume
This book will be given free for three cash subscribers
Standard or for s25 with years subscription All sub
bers present subscribers who pay year advance will
this magnificent volume retailing ST. in addition to the
price of the paper limited number of copies ready delivery
the office of the STANDARD. Call and il.