Blue-grass blade., 1895-01-13

not think any man ever paid higher
tribute to my generosity than Colonel
Shelby inadvertently did on the occasion
to which allude, and the details OF
which the daily papers have given.
had given him every advantage. He
had seen me in a most pleasant conver-
satior, in my office, with my editorial
friend, Judge Halsey, and when had no
kind of a weapon, and the Colonel had
no reason to suppose I had any, and he
and his man Friday certainly had had
an opportunity to arm themselves, and
the Colonel had stick, and yet under
these circumstances I was willing to go
with them only into room where there
was nobody else, and was SO entirely un-
conscious that I had given them any
cause for ohense, that did not at all un-
derstand until the Colonel pulled out
my freshly issued paper, and read the
passage that made the rufppus, for which
/ expressed some regret and my dispo-
sition to apologize; for it does not mat
ter what / may say, want every utter
ance to come rigidly and strictly up to
the standard of undoubted historical ac-
curacy, and want it to be such as no ra-
tional man can dispute.
There are probably ten million people
in the United States that will say that
what said was true, but that does not
make it true, and being rather volum-
mus in my style any how, can not, with
any regard for terseness, go into each
little detail like was writing thing
for court record, and rather than thus
cumber my style will take the chance,
especially as much that say is evident
ly intended to be regarded as Pickwick-
ian, of one, in thousand things that
say, saying something of subordinate
importance, in some side issue, that
would not stand the test of the square
and plummet, and apologize for it and
make the best amend that could when
l 90 wrong; and with those facts we'll
known / was surprised that Colonel
Shelby was offended.
I certainly have taken, like a little
man thousand times as much of this
kind of medicine as have given; but
then it's true that l am in public life,
where it's my business to take this, while
Colonel Shelby Is in private life, and the
difference is considerable.
All of this appreciated and so ex-
planned to the iiascible Colonel, but
the generations of Presbyterian religion,
that coursed through his distinguished
veins, seemed not at all to have induced
1cny che. st.s..t.A
Ito be one Of the salient Christian virtues.
While the Colonies words were all en-
tirely photographic, and such, as, indi-
vidually, may be used with the highest
propiety, in their aggregate effect they
were exceedingly forcible, and calculated
greatly to irritate one who is irritable.
For instance, while it is fact, that am
enveloped in the dermoid membrane,
that is common to the entire human
race, except when we use allegory or
hyperbole, the Colonel assumed that 1
was pachyderm, and instead of alluding
to my epidermis, as he should have
done, when the point at issue between
us was one of accuracy of expression, he
said he would take his redress out of nv
"hide." But even in thrs he did not ad-
here to the accuracy in his own style
that he demanded in mine; for he pro-
ceeded to hit me on the head with his
stick, thus avoided damage to the hide
proper, but probably on the principle
recognized between butchers and tan
ners that "the horns 60 with the hide"
The Colonel alluded to my recognized
'irresponsibility' as fightist, and was
for moment alarmed lest he was going
again to inflict on the long suffering
newspaper public, Bill Owens statement
that l was "long cared, long haired ir-
responsible BRUTE" that Bill got off in
one of his highest flights of eloquence
in the Opera house here; but was glad
to hear Colonel Shelby clothe the same
idea in language that sounded more ap-
propriate from the scion of great
gubernational sire, while rip saw was
the prominent feature in Bills family
escutcheon.
When some other fellow is in the
scrimmage, and am doing only the
newspaper reporting, l can get down,
pretty fine, what is said and done But
it's another thing for a fellow to hold up
his end of rumpus like that, and take
notes for newspaper report at the same
time; and acting in the double role
can not make as good report of it as
could lhave done, if some other fellow
had been getting his curls disarranged
by stick in the hands of another man.
The thing has afforded me and my
friends, to say nothing of my enemies,
much more of amusement than it has
of trouble. and with no malice toward
Colonel Shelby, and no special reason
for any, am in good shape to give him
some fatherly advice, though it might
be best for his man Friday Shankling
not to come fooling along with me, any
more, while there are deep snow banks
about town, for he may find his head
sticking i'll one of them, and struggling
in the Intellectual attempt to walk off ON
his ear. His size wont protect him.
The only solicitude felt during the
scrimmage was that | would get my BIZ
focal spectacles broken, but the Colonel
or Shankling or |, don't know which,
by some kind of an inadvertent, or pur-
posed, COUP de- main sent my glasses
whirling, clear hOrS dH cOm6aEbeen
reading "Trilby," and naturally quote
French an adjoining room, much
to my relief, after saw them safely
landed under table; for while a little
damage to my hide might grow up it.
self, in day or two, my glasses are of
peculiar make-observe them in the ac-
companying diagram, at the top of the
first column on the first page-and ,ost
lot of money for these hard times.
Now, tor Colonel Shelby's own good,
am going to tell him little fable with
moral to it 1t will be noticed that
do not call him "little Johnnie Shelby"
any more; but that call him Colonel" I"