The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1895-05-01
All Sorts OF Paragraphs.

- Every man should keep fair
sized cemetery in which to bury the
faults of his friends.
IF you want to get even with an
enemy, forget his existence, and go to
work to amount to something.
In several European countries,
including France and Belgium, cleo
tions are always held on Sunday. q
Over s5O,OOO,OOO is spent in
maintaining the churches of Che Uni
ted States, and s40,0 100000 in runnings
the jails.
= The three most common names
in England, Scotland and ireland re-
spectively are Smith, Mcdonald and
Murphy.
The healthiest children in the
world dwell in the Scottish Highlands.
They seldom wear shoes before they
are IL years Of age.
= Old Beau: 'tMiss Flossie, be
mine, I would give my life for you r.
Miss Flossie "Well, you may, if
it's heavily insured"
= Statistics and reports show that
the consumption of canned goods,
stimulated by low prices, has increas-
ed the past year enormously.
Shelf will be a pleasure for me
to share your troubles and anxieties.
He-But I haven't any. She-Oh,
you will have when We are married.
- Mrs. Kicksey-'Why do you
suppose the high hat is making so
much trouble ?" Kicksey-'sBecause
there woman at the bottom Of it,
of course" !"
johnny Smart-"T -"There's big
difference between my teacher and a
streak of lightning" Mrs. Smart
Glow so, son ?" Johnny Smart
"He strikes several times in the same
place"
-She-"Do you make love to
every girl you know, as you do to
me p Young lawyer-"My dear
young lady, you should not ask a ques-
tion that would tend to incriminate
the witness"
Boarding house mistress (at Sum
day dinner)-"Mr. Jones, why do you
not eat some chicken p" Mr.. Jones
(who has labored fifteen minutes try
ing to carve leg Thanks; never
work on Sunday"
There are on the face Of the
globe some 11O,OOO,OOO of English
speaking folk. Of these, roughly
speaking, three.quarters live in Scot
land, Ireland, Wales, the Colonies and
the United States. 81
Most of the black hair used din-
wigs and ''switches" is said to come
from the Italian and Spanish convents;
most of the blonde hair from the heads
of Swedish, Danish, Russian and Ger
man peasant girls.
The average weight Of women's
in winter is greater than that
which adorns the opposite sex. Worth
once said that the average weight Of a :
mans winter clothes averaged ID
pounds, Of a woman's 18.
The twelve States or Territories
of South Africa have population Of !
about 100000, Of whom 1,400,0 900
are whites. The principal State is
Cape Colony, whose exports last year
were s56,OOO, 900, imports s55, 900, 900.
-"I understand that your son
went West, intending to rise with the
community" said the-neighbor. eyes.
An he did what he started out for. "
Chow 2" ''He hadn't been there a
week before cyclone struck the
town."
During the Franco -Prussian war
the Germans fired 30,000,000 rife
cartridges and $4,000 charges Of ar
tillery, killing or mortally wo,lnding
1000 Frenchmen, showing that 400
shots are required to kill or mortally~
wound one man.
During the most peaceful years
the world has 100000 soldiers, who
are Withdrawn from productive occu-
pations to pose as soldiers. The pay,
equipments, food and clothing Of
these men cost the worlds taxpayers
nearly s8,00O,000 day.
= Irate Customer-See here | Ali
my friends are laughing at this bar
gain suit bought Of you. They say
it's mile too big. Dealer gently
Mine friendt, I know de cloding pees-
ness better dan your friendts do.
Shust you vait till it rains.
"Why do they call them straw
berries 2" is the question most people
have asked about the ruddy fruit.
The name is derived from a custom
long ago prevalent in England, Of the
children stringing the berries on
straws and selling so many strings for
a penny.
In perforating postage stamps a
die-plate is placed below the needles
Of the machine carrying 300. AS
about 180,000,000 holes are punched
a day, the wear on the die-plate is ex-
cessive. Brass plates wear out in a
day, and even steel plates are rapidly
destroyed.
For whooping cough Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy is excellent. BY u.s.
ing it freely the disease is deprived Of
all dangerous consequences. There is
no danger in giving the remedy to
babies, as it contains nothing injuri-,
GUS. 25 and so cent bottles for sale
by Hill Bros.
The Christian above all others i.
should be cheerful and happy. he
has an abiding hope. The sweetest
joys are still before him. ALI life's
shadows will pass like meteors away.
The world gives the best first, but at
last it stingeth like an adder and
biteth like serpent. It's joys are
transitory and feeting. Jesus always
gives the best last. The further we
travel with him the greater our joys :
and the richer our hopes.
The maps of the United States
show that the first settlers of many Of
the towns and cities must have been
at loss for names. Everybody has
heard of Red Dog. and You Bet. in