Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-02-21
Love and Proposals.
HOW MEN AND WOMEN ACT WITH
OUT HINTS FROM THE
NOvELISTS.

There Is a clever statistician who
could teach a thing or two to the
novelist. This statistician has at
tempted to classify the action and
methods of proposal, and, as a re-
suit, has presented tahulated figures
extremely interesting to psycholo.
gists.
Out of 100 cases, 36 gentlemen
take lady in arms, 67 gentlemen kiss
lady on lips, 4 gentlemen kiss lady
on cheek; 3 gentlemen show very
good taste by kissing lady on eyes, 2
gentlemen kiss lady on hand. 1t is
To hr presumed these 2 out of 100 are
the timid, diffident kind, though it
is possible that they might be of the
quietly sentimental nature. One
gentleman kisses lady on nose. 1t
must be added that the statistician is
careful to insert the saving clause
| Thy mistake.)
There is even record of man
kissing lady on the edge Of her
shawl, but, thank goodness, there is
only in 100, and the chances are
that this man is peculiar.
Seventy-two hold lady's hand, II
hold ii very tightly, IA have Jumps
in their thrOats and 9 eXclaim aloud {:
"Thank God !" Only 7 out of 100
declare themselves to be deliriously
| happy, and ) are too full for utter
ance. Three out of a hundred stand
on one foot when they make a pro-
posal, and two go down on one knee,
while nine make a formal prelude
of hn ol
play, we suppose, when the villain
appeals to heaven to witness the con-
sumIng flame of his affections for the
heart ne plots to ruin, etc.
The behavior of the lady under
the circumstances is equally enter
tanning and instructive. Out of 100
cases 81 sink into the arms of gen.
tlemen, 6S rest their heads on gen.
tleman's breast, and only one sinks
into the arms of a chair; IL clasp
their arms around the gentleman's
neck, 6 weep tears of joy silently,
| and IA weep tears aloud-W whatever
that means; ~ have eyes full of
love, and out of 100 rush from the
are greatly surprised, and 81 out of
100 knew that something was COM
ing. Five giggle hysterically, and
one even sneeZes. Only out of 100
struggles not to be kissed, while
kiss gentleman first. If, you be-
lieve the statiStician, l out of 100
won Ell will say: "Yes, but don't
be fool -
MODEST MosQUITo SToRY.-We
were all telling mosquito stories at a
New York summer resort when one
particularly audacious man said :
'Oh, that's nothin'. l was off the
coast of Barnegat last summer on a
fishing trip and while we were out
on deck early in the evening, smok-
mosquitoes, all Of them monstrOus
birds, came out from shore and set
tied in the boat and do you know
that in fifteen minutes they had
stripped it Of every inch of canvas
and left the masts bare as bean
poles"
We held up our hands in depreca
tion at this tale, when another of the
party exclaimed: Well, don't be
astOnished. / can vouch for that
1t was only a week after that / was
on trip along the coast and the
same swarm Of mosquitoesscame af;
ter u.s."
The first speaker didn't seem tc
appreciate this unexpected support
for he muttered: Hump! They
did, Ell? Well, how do you know
they were the same mosquitoes
eh ?n
How did / know ?" repeated
the other with chuckle. "HOv
did l know? Why, they all had OF
canvas overalls."