St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1895-02-25

puslVe ouor Oh questionable perfume,
while others were written on cheap,
white note paper, and were backed in
hand which indicated that milking of
COWS or even
SPLITTING THE WOOD
| might be nc foreign task to the writer.
Il don't know about lettin' you read
en- said Swango doubtfully; "some
of the girls might see it eff we printed
it, an l hain't took my choice Wit We
know. This pile here I've finally con-
cluded to pick FROM he said, pointing
to small bundle, which lay on top.
: and I'm goin' ter make up my mind
pretty quick. Why, this doggone thing
| now" he whispered confidentially,
has cost me nigh onto $40 fer stamps.
writin' material an sich-an' besides
that I've had to hire boy to read for
me an do my anSwerin.' Blamed eff
1t WIS to do over agin eff I'd undertake
it. It's too blank expensive these hard
times 1 might have got a woman
somewhere round here lots cheaper
eff I'd only waited a while. Howsum-
ever" and here Swango chippered up
a little as he viewed with satisfaction
the huge pile of letters, 81 ought ter
get somepin good out er that lot, eh, |
mister? Guess I'll let you look at one /
or two, anyhow. Howdy We like this?'' !
A SAMPLE.
Greenfield, Ohio, January q, 1895. |
My Dear Henry: In a dream I was
told we were made for each other o,
how my heart has yearned for you, /
and how it beat wildly when I saw |
your advertisement in the paper. Your
sweet face has haunted me for years. |
l have repulsed many lover in hopes
of finding you some day. Now that
you are found ] cannot wait until I
rest within your arms. Let me know,
Oh, please, Henry, what train I shall
come on at once. Yours forever,
MAGGIE"
This impetuous missive rather fright
ened Swango, and he fastened to re-
ply by postal card that Maggie should
remain where she was until further
orders. He was not quite so sure him
self about the affinity she spoke Of
and Maggie may move to strike out the
words, "sweet face" when she sees
Henry's picture. Mr.. Swango has a
good, open face, but he has certainly
not the sweet, angelic features of a
Raphael, nor the broad, intellectual
forehead of modern fiction.
If Maggie's letter alarmed him, i'm
agine his CONSERVATION when he re-
ceived the following:
Liberty, Ind, Jan. 20, 1S95.-Mr. !
Henry Swango-Dearest Henry: We
both want you, therefore we will let
you take your choice. We are cousins
young, sweet and full of life. Both
of US want a good husband, such as
you must be, and we have been in
tending to take trip to friends North
for some time. We will just stop off
at Coontown on our way, and you may
expect to see us next Tuesday. Good
bye. Affectionately,
"ADDIE AND HELEN"
Mr.. Swango began about this time
to wish he had never advertised, and
was wondering how best to get
OUT OF THE DILEMMA,
when his secretary came to his aid.
A message was sent the girls that
wife had already been secured, and
that they need trouble themselves no
farther.
There are several other interesting
|
Swango says he may yet make his
selection from one of them. and he
does not want them published for this
reason. Some of the epistles are I'M
couth, and not only fiat and disgust
ing, but even mercenary. The lot, how
ever, certainly reveals a most aston
ishing amount of facts concerning the
unmarried fair ones. The bargain
driving girls in particular are dis
pleasing to Mr.. Swango.
Let them open negotiations with
foreign counts" said he. They're not
in style in Fulton county, and would
not be considered good neighbors."
There has been a runor afioat that
Swango intended. after marriage, to
publish all the letters in book form,
and thus recoup the expense he has
incurred He informs the reporter,
however, that, although he has had
such offers, it is hardly probable that
he will accept It would not be treat
ing his correspondents right, he thinks,
although the book would doubtless be
extensively read, and would be of
local iaterest in almosti any COM
munity in the Central states. There
are few localities in Ohio, Indiana and
Illinois that are not represented by at
least one letter in this remarkable coll
lection. Mr.. Swango has finally
sorted the lot down to six, and says
a selection will be made soon.
The lucky woman may expect a
warm reception, as the neighbor boys
for miles around have promised