The Van Buren press., 1895-04-20
HETERoPHEMY.
An Awkward Trick for Which the Tongue
or Nerves Are Responsible. .l

OF nerves Are hOBpOnslDl0.
Heterophcmy, the curious disease
which consists in using one word when
meaning to use an entirely different
one, gives rise to many amusing COM
binations. An old lady living in a
town on the Hudson river Is thus af-
flicted. She Is tall and stately in APP
pearance, courtly and gracious in man
ner, and this makes her homogeneous
sentences all the more ridiculous.
Strange to say, she herself Is totally
unconscious Of her infirmity, for the
family, friends, and even the servants
endeavor to save her from the mortiti-
cation she would feel. - ..fI5zI.. LIS.
Not long ago, when she was recover
ing from a serious illness, the bishop OF
the diocese chanced to be making his
annual visitation, and at the sugges-
tion of the rector, they went together
to call upon Mrs. Drew.
She was delighted to see them, and
entertained them with her usual grace
and cordiality. The conversation nat
urally touched upon her illness, and
her thankfulness at her recovery, which
for time had been despaired of.
Presently she turned to the bishop,
saying earnestly, my dear bishop, let
us have little drop" Ha
The startled prelate glanced at the
rector. He, knowing his old friends
infirmity, cast about in his mind for
her probable meaning.
Bishop" repeated the old lady, SER
iously, "let's have little drop"
certainly, Mrs. Drew" interposed
the rector, waiting for her to make
some move which might disclose her
meaning. But Mrs. Drew waited ex.
pectantly, also
''If you have not your Wade Mecum
with you, there is a prayer-book," she
said, after moment. =" 't
The rector, with sigh of relief,
turned to the bishop. ''Mrs. Drew will
be glad to have you read prayers with
her." he said quietly. #.s 4R
Prayers were read, and then the gen.
tlemen prepared to take leave.
"Your visit has been pleasure"
Mrs. Drew said warmly. "Now, Mr..
Belknap, won't you take this little boy
home to your dear wife, with my best
love?p " 4#-la -
! For q moment Mr.. Belknap wondered
if she could mean the bishop, but she
relieved his mind by lifting a magnifi-
cent bunch of roses from vase on the
table. .''4a
Allied to this is another form of mis-
| speech, to which most of us are occa-
sionally subject-the exchange of syl-
tables. A certain young lady, who,
to her intense modification, often re-
verses her vowels thus, says she is en-
tirely unconscious of it, even after
speaking.
One summer evening she was saun-
tering with friend toward the village
post Office of the little town where
they were staying. On the way they
encountered an acquaintance with a
handful of letters. 70 .,.,.
"Ah, good evening"" she said in her
peculiarly gracious, suave manner.
"Are you strailing out for your mole?"
The mystified young woman made
some inarticulate reply and passed on.
As soon as the friend could recover her
gravity she gasped: II suppose you
intended to ask Miss May if she was
strolling out for her mail?'' e, as'
The same young lady was relating q
sad story of various misfortunes which
had overwhelmed dear friend.
"Think," she concluded pathetically,
''of losing husband, children, property
and home at one swell foop!" And a
howl of laughter rent the roof.-At.
| lantic ....r ..r b