The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1895-02-13
SPECIMENS OF WIT.
,oMe HISTORIC FLASHES OF sPoN-
TANEoUs HuMoR.
Not a Few European sovereigns Have
Been Fond OF aud Given to Repartee.
Clever and Brutal Jests Passed Among
Engiishmen of Long Ago.

Clever and Brutal Jests Passed Among
Engiishmen OF Long Ago.
Generally speaking, the strong have
refused to put up with jesting from the
weak The Car Nicholas, who had
some fine qualities, was hardened against
u meditated act of clemenoy by the un.
daunted spirit of a prisoner. Relief, q
man of letters, had been implicated in
the conspiracy of 1925 and sentenced to
be hanged. He was launched from the
fatal ladder, when the rope broke and
he was thrown to the ground, severely
bruised, but conscious. He picked him
self up and said quietly, "They can do
nothing in Russia, not even twine cord
properly" 1t was customary in Russia
to pardon tho condemned after "a similar
fiasco, but on Relieff's words being re-
ported to the czar and his pleasure de-
manded he replied, prove him the con-
trary."
Henry VIII, with all his violence and
tyranny, could bear with retort as we'll
as give one, for no loved wit. When il
was told him that the pope had sent the
cardinals hat to Fisher, bishop Of Roch
ESTER he said. He may have tho hat,
but he shall have no head to wear il
with" and the bishop was brought to
the block On one occasion the turbu-
lent Earl of Kildare was brought before
the king, charged with setting fire to
the cathedral Of Cashel. 81 own it, ="
said the earl, "but never would have
done it had not believed the archbish.
op was in it" Henry laughed and par
doned the culprit. His bitterest enemy
was tho bishop Of Meath, who accused
him to Henry of divers misdeeds and
closed his arlyiignment with, THUS, my
liege you see that all Ireland cannot
govern tho earl "
"the earl shall rule all Ireland" " and
instantly made him lord deputy because
his good humor equaled his valor.
Elizabeth resembled her father in her
willingness to put up with retorts from
saucy subjects and to pay them back in
kind, not always with the greatest re.
finement The little scene with the ill
fated Earl of Essex, when she boxed his
ears for insolence and he laid his hand
on his sword, saying that he would not
take such treatment even from her fa.
ther, is familiar to every one.
Going back to still earlier dates, we
constantly find the imperious Plantag-
enet kings giving and receiving retorts
that bear witness of great independence
among some Of their powerful subjects.
1t was Edward ! who, on the refusal Of
the "Black Dog of Warwick" to join
the king with vassals and supplies for
war, said, "Sir Earl. You shall either go
or hang" The retort was, "Sir Rex, I
will neither go nor hang"
Henry w of France was good natured
above most monarchs in repartee. As a
rule, it is impossible to reproduce in con-
ventional English dress the jests of this
wise and witty king. On one occasion
it was tho turn of M. d'Aubigne to sleep
in the kings antechamber Fancying
the monarch was asleep, he began to talk
to M. de la Force, who shared his watch,
saying, "Your master is the most un-
grateful of men. " La Force, half asleep,
asked him what he was talking about,
when Henry cried out; "Wake upi He
is telling You l am the most ungrateful
of men"
PRAY go to sleep. sire," interrupted
D'Aubigne "We have great deal more
to say about you. Henry never showed
less kindliness to his servant on account
of what he had overheard.
But tho cynical generosity of Freder.
iok the Great is unique A lackey who
owed him grudge had determined to
poison him. One morning he brought in
the kings chocolate and appeared visi.
bly, troubled in countenance "What ails
your" said Frederick, looking fixedly at
him. "You look as If you had put poi
son in my food" The wretch fell at his
feet and avowed his crime. Get out of
my sight, You scoundrel" said Freder.
ick and took no further notice of the
mans attempt to murder him.
A delicate compliment is work Of
far higher art than the most biting sar.
casm. Every one knows the story of the
poor creature who found himself seated
between Nine Recamier and Nine. de
Stael, nnd managed to offend them both
by saying that he sat between wit and
beauty, and was crushed by the retort
Vi numC. uo OInol Lldt no pUbb6bb6u u6l-
ther. The court Of Louis XIV was the
school where this art was brought to
perfection. The fattery offered to the
king by the men Of genius was at once
coarse and exquisite Witness the inim.
liable reply Of Mignard, who was paint.
ing the kings portrait for the tenth
time, when Louis asked him, do lool
older?'
II see q few more campaigns on the
brow Of your majesty"
One Of Louis marshals, Bassompierre,
was great at repartee. He had spent ter
years in the Bastille. and on emerging
his majesty asked him his age. Fifty.
sire. F" To the surprised look Of the king
the marshal added, ~ don't count the
ten years passed in the Bastille. because
did not spend them in your majesty
service. "-Philadelphia Telegraph.
------
He Must De sOmething.
An inhabitant whose heels were strik.
ing sparks from the pavement as he
walked entered the waterworks office
l. T. IL N