Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1895-12-26
ON HOES sAcK.
wiEgiesworth Tries It end BIanes Eis
VIE Ear tila EasnIt


0ow to help raise her husbands salarys''
They're going on little family picnic
to Pine hill tomorrow. Mrs Wiggles-
worth continued hestitatingly, ..and want
/ us to go with them. I told them would
ask YOU, but didn't think you'd care to
/ go.
That's itl'' cried Mr. wigglesgorth.
| jabbing his knife savagely into biscuit.
Try to keep me cut of all the fun you
can Keep Wigglnsworth tied up in the
Office earning money 50 You can swell
around in society wcsA ing clothes-that' 5
/ the way. hate such selishness.
She said, Mrs. Wiggiesyorth went
on that l could ride in the cafryaM with
/ them, and that they would borrow Mr..
! Bimley's horse for you to ride-if-if you
thought you-you could she added
/ doubtfully.
Thought 1 could2' echoed Mr. Wig
/ ellsworth scornfully why notg Amt
as well able to ride horse as any of
| your family? 1t may be some time since
/ was on saddle, but I don't have to
have none of you nor your ministers to
show me how"
Neighbors looking out of windows next
morning saw Mrs. Wigglesworth loading
into the carriage along with the minister
and his wife, three baskets, four children
and other concomitants of a family picnic
heJoiced TO see you, Brother Wiggles-
worth, = exclaimed the minister heartily
as Mr.. Wigglesworth came down the walk.
Mature is unusually propitious for our
little outing, and our hearts should sing
with gladness.'
That's so, Mr.. Wigglesworth acknowl-
edged Where's my horse?''
At that instant boy appeared towing
long, gaunt animal once white in ecior,
with a little wisp of name and a tail of a
bobbish character He was a horse who
held up his head and regarded the world
with suspicion.
s'Whoal' shouted Mr. Wigglesworth as
loudly as he cared to with the minister
present. "Why don't We hold the horse
still?' he said sayagely to the boy at the
end of the bride.
How kin hold her still?' retorted the
boy, about whom the horse now went re-
volying, closely followed by Mr. Wiggles-
worth. "Git on her back, an she'll stand
STILL
Don't We give me any of your sarse"
said Mr.. Wigglesworth, glaring at the
boy. "Whoa-whoa, good hossy!'
Several times Mr.. Wigglesworth got a |
toe in the stirrup, but the instant he es-
sayed to lift himself the horse would fiaunt |
his little bud of tail and skip kittenishly |
away, while Mr. Wigglesworth would /
come heavily to the ground, and the boy
at the end of the bride would feel his |
arms yanked out of their sockets When
this performance had been repeated for the
twentieth time, they gave heed to the adj
vice which Mrs. Wigglesworth had for sew
eral minutes been earnestly promulgating.
Fetch Ellery one of the kitchen chairs, -
she said, and the minister, solicitous for
the success of the picnic dinner, went and
got it.
Now" he suggested, perhaps l can
assist you, Brother Wigglesworth If you
will stand in the chair, the boy ard will
push the horse up to you, and doubtless
you can then mount with ease
1t wasn't very horsemanlike proceed
ing but the forenoon was wasting, and
Mr.. Wigglesworth, with a hot, red face.
angrily agreed to it,
"I'll take it out of him when 1 get him
on the road. = he muttered, with an awful
air of revenge, as he stood up in the chair.
1t was successful vancouver Thanking
the gaunt steed, the minister pushed him
gently toward the waiting Wigglesworth,
who slipped q leg over tie saddle before
the astonished animal realized the conf
dence game that was being played upon
him. just at that instant Mrs. Wiggles-
worth had climbed out of the carriage in
an earnest desire to lend assistance. Fling
ing his head around with little gust Of
disappointment the horse saw her close
upon him waving her parasol, and with
loud snort he waltzed across to the opposite
sidewalk, Nh. Wigglesworth clutching
wildly at his scanty name and pokin2 his
feet madly ABOUT in vain search OF the
stirrups.
What We doing?'' he yelled as the horse
huttered nervously against the fence.
What kind of a fool you trying to act out
this timer"
II didn't mean to do anything " an
swered Mrs. Wigglesworth, abashed and
frightened. Il was only going TO help,
and the horse saw me and-and jumped
well. what We expect?'' cried Mr. Wig
ellsworth angrily. "What We 5 spose he'd
do when he saw you? Wonder he hadn't
dashe' my lungs out on a telephone pole
get 1at-keep away can't yes" he yelled
as his wife came nearer, tutoring some
coaxing phrases and putting out a hand
to soothe the agitated beast.
Whoa, good little hossyi' she said in
sugary tones
Get awayr' shouted Mr.. Wigglesworth
as the horse, unwon by these blandish-
ments ground his riders leg against a
fencepost. what We doing with that
blamed old red umbrella. Put it Zip, can't
YEP
There are many inscrutable things in
this life and MIR Wigglesworth always has
maintained that his wife is one Of them.
When he shouted for her 70 put up the red
sunshade that she was nervously flutter-
ing in her hand, she put it up Only she
did it the ather way. AS its circular form
famed forth with a cracking noise the
gaunt steed. already overwrought with
the confusion and loud shouting, gathered
his feet under him and holted around the
corner.
Summer visitors out for morning
stroll We're surprised TO see long bony
horse flashing by wearing rider who APP
parently was unaccustomed to that style
of locomotion. The riders feet were
thrust through the stirrups to their an
kles, and his trousers were worked mp
nearly to the knee AT every third bound
of the horse bound shorter and more