The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-11-04
PETER AND MS WHISPERS.
What Might Result From shaving on
the Hirsute Adjournment.


From the Washington Star
II Senator PETER should cut on his whis-
kers this winter. ami il is intimated that
he may. some strange things might hap
men. PETER is a much misunderstood man.
The public have a wrong idea of him. His
colleagues I'm the senate know him better.
There is a theory that all his populism. is
In his whiskers When this idea was first
suggested IL was not thought much OF.
but the thing has been discussed up one
SIDE aud down the other Some ingenious
scientific theories have been advanced,
ana the characteristics Of bearded men in
history have been called forward to prove
that tho growth OF hair unon the chin in
nueaces the mind. 1t has been pointed
out that all the great and logical think
ers OF the world have smooth faces.
The classical scholars Of the Senate
have pointed that the reason the term
barbarian has come 10 mean unciVihzed
was that the Greeks and Romans Of fine
discrimination discovered a subtitle as
ISOLATION between the boards and lack OF
reasoning powers. II was shreWdly OBJ
served. too, that when smOoth-faced men
think deeply they rub their hands back
ward through their hair OF across their
foreheaqs, thus giving sort OF message
which develops those parts OF the era
MUM, so as 10 give room for the eNpan-
sion Of reasoning powers Of the brain.
on the other hand, men with boards, long,
soft and flowing, invariably stroke their
boards while thinking, thus developing
only the muscles of the jaw and thtcken-
ing the skin upon the cheek, and elongat-
ing and narrowing the face aud head,
and. presumably, contracting the mind
and focusing II on one object, so as TO
diSQualify IL from grasping more than one
idea at time.
This new theory. which. 1t is believed,
may prove of great value 10 the human
race II followed up scientifically, Is con-
fined by it's discoveries in It's application
TO men who enter the neld OF statecratt.
They believe that il may not apply to
FaHsfa~ NNN1aNN Tod a. fEEn
to men in ordinary walks of life. IL Is
held that a merchant doctor, or even
a minister may wear long beard Wl.h-
out injury, but among law makers II
should bc discouraged. The three con-
spicuous examples in the Senate last year
PETER. Stewart and Dolph-gaVe force
strengthened by a careful observation OF
the Kansas senator under various con-
ditions 1t was observed that when he
wore his beard buttoned under MS vest
he was more conservative in his utter
ances: that when Il was allowed 70 How
freely, as was usual he was more radical
and disposed to advance strange PROPOSE
tons. and that when the wind blew Vio-
lently he was more agitated and disposed
to.feel that the country was going wrong
and that there should be a complete po-
litical overthrow.
too. that he was man OF some capacity,
and that there were traits of Character
which indicated possibility OF develop
ment They found In him a man who al
ways Keeps his WORD, one VINO Will NOT
make a questionable bargain, and one
who is always amiable and frank and
well intentioned. They also found him a
great student, but with this one defect
that he strokes his beard while he stu
dies, thereby developing his chin and
cheek instead of his forehead. The re-
suit of all these observations was con-
clusion that If his beard were shaved off
he would develop into some such man
as John Sherman and be great credit
to the Senate.
No one has dared to make the suggestion
to him, but the report that he may shave
Is received with great interest. IL Is re-
ceived. too. with anxiety, lest Il be not
true There is much interest In discov-
ering what his course in the Senate Will
be this winter A great deal depends on
tion whether he will continue to wear a
beard. If the above subtitle theory Is cor
rect, two good republicans might be made
of PETER and Stewart by a handy barber.