The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1895-03-06

BUCKS NEW CLOTHES

Fifteen years have passed since John c.
Buck and published The Allen County
Eye at Scottdale. Ky,
The Eye was a small sheet and was
printed on press that took an impression
with loud slap All the announcements
that cur paper uttered were strong, for it
required but few flaps OF our press 10
turn the hair lines OF light faced type into
the black swipes Of holdest exclamation.
We lived in the office cost us DO rent,
as il was believed to he haunted-and took
our meals n herever we happened 10 find
them.
We had been running along for several
months when one night, as Buck and L
lay on thu floor smoking, he turned to me
and said:
II am in love-
WHAT 1 exclaimed.
II am in love, l say. Give me match"
He relighted his pipe, pulled awhile and
continued:
Finest looking woman you ever saw
fat, weighs about twice as much as do,
but she's beautiful. Never met her until
day before yesterday. Went down to the
bluff after a bucket of water. She and old
Hillard's wife were sitting near the spring,
eating alUnch. l asked them if they didn't
want some water. Girl said she did
Handed her gourdful; sat down beside
her Won't you have some lunch?' she
asked Well, rather. nibbled her cheese
and crunched her crackers and snatched
the meat of the leg of chicken. l found
out her name-Niss Cregg-Helen, at that.
! have met her several times since then.
Che gave me poem Tor Tho Eye. Well
print il, though it's tough. Now, don {
object. Well print her matter now, and
if we are ever married I'll choke her off.
Got an appointment with her tomorrow.
She lives ten miles out in the country, but
lover can walk that distance without
any trouble.
went out into the country, and upon
returning, after u stop OF several days,
Buck told me that he was engaged.
This is nonsense, said l.
How sou he asked in surprise.
why, you have got nothing to get
married on.
Get married on credit" said ne
''That's all very well, but you've got no
clothes, and there's not a man in town
would credit you with a suit.
''Oh, the question Of suit of clothes is
settled. The county clerk will give $40
for printing the delinquent tax list, and
with that amount of money l can get a
first class outfit i went down to see the
proprietor of the wooden mill, and he told
Inc that for So ne would sell me enough
jeans 20 answer my modest purposes.
went with him. The jeans was Of a
yellowish cast and was woven in ribs that
were almost as coarse as gridiron, and,
still worse, 1t was greasy and smelled like
wet dog.
We printed the tax list, and Buck took
the goods TO tailor. The old fellow
turned away and hsld his nose when it
was unrolled.
IN take EN-" the tailor said, ''but
you must have the cloth sbrunk first
That's all right. Let me put them on,
and they may shrink until they get tired.
Push the work on as fast as you can, for
an exceedingly important event depends
on these clothes. II. be around to try them
on tomorrow"
Early one cold but beautiful morning
we hired a shackly old hack and set out
for the residence of the brides father. a
drug clerk had given Us a box of cigars,
and onward we went gayly smoking.
think that they were the worst cigars
of hickory. and when we attempted 20
knock off the ashes 1t was rare that the
cigar escaped being broken in two.
Buck, you are sure the girl loves you:"
l asked
''Of course am. Do you reckon she's
marrying me for money!"
You are not going to compel her 10
sleep in the office, are you;"
g. . -
name--until 1 can sorter TX up little. "
But suppose you do not succeed in fix
ing up:'
''Well, then she'll either have to stay
with Mrs. SLOUGH or go back homo.
What the deuCe is that odor? Whewl 1
never snelled anything as bad II almost
takes my breath. p"
Its your clothes" answered.
why do you persist in making fun Of
my wardrobeY From tho very first you
have spoken uneenerously Of these gar
uents. You have not only SPOKEN III Of
their appearance, but have slandered them
by declaring that they smell bad. Asa sin
gle and consequently q thoughtless man l
could bear insults, but a. q married man
AS a man who feels the responsibilities
of life-I must protest against a continu-
snce of indienities- BY George, what is
IL that smells sO:n
Just then Buck lifted the blanket, and
a volume OF smoke rolled out We stopped
the horses and jumped out Of the hack.
The tails of Buck 5 coat were burned
of, having caught from one Of our hick
CRY cigars.
What ought I 70 do-jump in the creek
CT bury myself"
There was in my mind a sharp fight be
tween the l1dicTous and the sympathetic,
but finally pity babe the lndicrous lie
down.
1T Is unfortunate, said I, but not
fatal II : but little farther TO the house
OF your father-in-law'-
stop" he said, holding up his hand
enough, Speak not q wives nor Of IA
thers-in- law. Get IN, and we will 90 back
10 town. Farewell vain ambition" be
continued, waving bis hand, FAREWELL
-Opie Read in Banner OF Gold
Fair Faces on Shaving Mugs
: fad which bids fair % become fairly