The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1895-11-07
We Embarrassed That Horse.

lead ghost walk. Under the super.
vision of Rev. Peale the event was con.
summated without any fatalities, and all
went merrily until our return. As we
drove into town, about ten o'clock, the
Mayor suggested that he must get
shaved for Sunday, and gave us the al.
Tentative Of driving the rig to his home
and putting up the horse, or OF waiting
until the BARRIERS were through with him.
Any man who has waited in barber shop
until midnight and after, waiting for the
master Of ceremonies to look at him and
shout "Next!" will not be surprised that
we chose the first alternative.
"Do you think you can manage it all
right?"
"Yes, certainly" We assured him it
wouldn't be the least trouble in the
world.
He explained that every part that
needed to be detached was simply fast.
ened by "snap." 1t was the most con.
venient harness he ever saw.
We drove confidently up to the stable
and halted the equipage with whoa,
there ~ that would have made hack
driver envious.
We sprang bouyantly out of the car.
riage, happy in our new.found import.
ance, and landed on the rocky ground
with jolt that brought back every
rheumatic twinge we had felt in the last
forty years.
Then we limped up to the horse and
took critical view of the harness in the
moonlight.
We concluded that the first thing was
to get the animal detached from the
buggy. But we hunted the traces from
end to end tor a "snsp," and there was no
snap, except the one we had got into,
and that was no help. In this emer.
gency we entered the stable and groped
about over the dusty timbers till We
found monkey.wrench. With this we
managed to get the bolt out of the single
tree, and that end of the horse was loose
from the buggy. Meanwhile, the patient
steed kept flirting his ears back to catch
the unusual sounds, and occasionally
turned his head with puzzled look, as
much as to say, "What in the thunder's
the matter now ?'
But we found the beast wasn't loose
yet. About his midships was tangle of
straps wrapped around the shaft, and the
more we tried to pull it loose, the tighter
it got.
What's the sense in all these dew.
bangles on horse, anyhow? Why don't
they just put yoke on him, like they
do on an OK, and fasten the shafts to it
and let him go? When we make enough
lecturing on Ghosts, we're going to get
up harness on common sense princi.
pies, and it'll be some pleasure then, to
keep horse.
After while we found buckle some
place in the neighborhood and loosed it.
Still that strap wouldn't bulge. Then
we found snap and unfastened it. After
some twisting and pulling, the strap
dropped to the ground. But the horse
wasn't loose yet. We found another ar.
rangement of nonsensical straps on the
opposite shaft. After q world of vex.
atious unbuckling, and pulling and
twisting and unsnspping, we threw that
strap on the ground, too. Thanks to
our sagacious and persistent efforts, the
horse was loose. In spite OF our remon.
strances, he marched right through the
open door and into the stable. The rest
of our work had to be done in the close,
dark stall. We reached around in the
night and unloosened every buckle and
snap we could find. 1t was no easy job.
1t seemed like some of them hadn't been
unbuckled since the days of Noah. We
pulled the loose pieces off, one at time,
and then tried to lift the harness. But
it wouldn't lift. Then we thought of
looking underneath. There were two
or three buckles. We undid them
without much trouble, and then we
could lift the harness, but it wouldn't
come off. Then, we surged at it back.
ward. But it wouldn't come. Then we
unloosed the check strap, and unbuckled
the reins and took off the blinds, ap1
surged again, but it wouldn't come. We
found heavy strap hanging around
the horses knees in freat.
Then we stopped while to consider
whether horse puts on its clothes over
its head, like woman, or just works
itself into them like man. For the life
of us, we couldn't decide. We thought,
however, it was worth while to try to
pull the wreck off over the animals
head. Then we surged forward, with
all our might. But the horse whisked
his tail angrily, and stamped his feet, a
much as to say,
"What's the matter With Won. any.