The morning times., 1895-09-08

the train Nowadays when coffin is
sent by freight or express it is always
nailed up in a big packing box, but in
those days handsome coffins were a sort
OF novelty IL the Northwest, and folks that
could afford to own one never thought OF
CUncealing it in packing box.
Il was preparing TO slide the coffin into
my car when man with big piece of
Grape on his hat comes up TO me and says to
nIe: That's the remains of my poor mother
in-aw. / know yOUll handle her careful,
for old acquaintances' sake Who should
IL be but Cy. Truefit! l hadn't ever heard
ofhis having had wife but Inever thought
of doubling his word, and ! felt real
sorry for him So l says: I'm mighty
sorry TO hear it, Cy., and you can depend
on me to do my best in the way Of handling
the poor old lady's remains Cy., he just
dabbed his eyes with his handkerchief and
said, Thank you, MY friend, and then went
into the smoking car, leaving the coffin
in MY charge.
az couldn't help thinking that Cy's
mothef-in-law must have been good deal
above Cy's weight in her lifetime, for her
coffin weighed kaore than any coffin had
ever handled, However, that wasn't my
concern. Some men like heavy women, and
some like light ones. Not being married
man myself 1 don't know which is the best;
but, speaking from a common-sense point of
view, it seems to me that when two hun
dred pounds OF wife don't cost any more
thanone hundred pounds, asensibe man VIII
take the most he can get for his money.
Il gave the old lady nice quiet corner
in my car, and we carried her on to New
1r-Ei ipN firNa IE-aC n
flourshing town, though it's about as dead
now as this identical town where were
sitting got one of the brakesmen to help
me lift the coffin, and set it down gently in
the baggage-room of the station; and the
thing was so heavy that l strained my back
lifting it, and couldn't do justice to or
dinary trunks for the next fortnight.
However, thought I had showed proper
I respect to the dead, and when Cy thanked
me, and said that he and the remains would
be going on TO Garrison Bridge the next
day, and that he had only brought them
down to New BerinOpOlis to have fu-
neral service, the church in West Tangiers
being closed for repairs in consequence OF
the minister having eloped with one Of the
deacon's wives, / wished that / could go
to the funeral myself and back Cy up. But
my duties were imperative, and said good
bye TO Cy, hoping that he would take some
other train than mine the next time he,
wanted to carry any deceased corpSes with
him.
They told me afterward that Cy. paid
the station-mas+er at New Berlinopolis
to let him keep the coffin locked up in
the baggage-room for the night, with the
privilege of keeping the key and going
in from time to time to see if it was all
right. 1 never met anybody who went to
the funeral at New Berlinopolis, but 1
did hear that Cy., in spite of his grief,
showed his samples to all the business
men in the town, and made some unusually
good sales.
1.-The next day when my train came
along there was Cy. on the platform with
his coffin. He told me that the funeral
had been a brilliant success, and that
he was now going to take the remains
down to Spartansville, and settle them
comfor tably in the cemetery there. l
thought to myself that the man was run
ming the funeral business into the ground,
for one funeral is all that any one corpse
is entitled to, according to my notion.
However, / didn't wish to interrupt Cy.'s
mourning by any remarks of my own, so
/ just called the brakesman and we got
the remains aboard the train. When we
had got through, dropping the coffin on
one of my feet and one of the brakes
mans hands, and everything was COM
Portable again, the brakesman said: If
these here remains is any relation OF
yours, l wish for to say nothing; but if
they amt none of your family's I'll just
remark that,whoever's in that coffin must
have been filled up choke-full Of lead,
and serve him right. I don't doubt that
there have been fifty shOtguns fired into
| that corpse, for it weighs four times what
any healthy corpse ought to weigh. You
see the mans thumb was pretty well
smashed, and in the circumstance he
couldn't have been expected to feel kindly
toward the remains.
AT Spartansville, Cy., as 1 was told
by the station-master there, wanted TO