Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1895-10-25
OFFICIAL PAPER BURLE|GH co.
he WOULDN'T SAW THE WOOD.

\: prominent Kansas City woman has
brought action for divorce against her
husband, because, forsooth, she laid
around and would not help get the
meals This is reported to be the ex-
act language of one or the allegations of
the complaint. A multitude of thoughts
crowd upon the heels of the statement.
In the first place, is the naked asser-
ton that she laid around" This in it.
self is bad enough. He might at least
have been grammatical in his %laziness.
But 1t appears he was as careless of
grammar rs he wes derelict in the
performance of his culinary duties. At
the very outset of the discussion, we find
a grave charge laid against him.
Then2 is the subsequent and equally
horrlfying accusation of his derelicticn
in the matter of getting the meals. Get
ting IN thle',lnstance, implies the prepar.
ing of FOOD to a degree of edibility both
healthful and appetizing. 1t is not the
mere accumulation of a Ipantry full of
raw material. The purchase of raw ma
terial for meals is naught but a vulgar,
commercial trapsaction-a mere matter
of barter and sale. The getting Of a
meal-the revolution of a series of
tempting delicacies from this raw ma
terial-is an art-one of the pre.reqni.
sites of matrimony-with whose details
and mysteries every husband should be
thoroughly conversant. Otherwise, there
is always the likelihood of the divorce
court and the decree, to remind Kim of
his unworthiness.
In the case in point, the wife who ap-
plies for the divorce is a new woman
The complaint does not specify whether
she contracted it before or after mar
riage. If after, there is some excuse for
her husband, and his otfense of omission
is in a measure palliated. But If the
symptoms of the malady we're present
before the tying of the matrimonial knot,
then his fate is just. And he must pay
the penalty of his insufficient prepara-
ton for the performance of his domestic
duties.
For the husband of the new woman
must not expect to sit on the veranda
and pollute the air with tobacco smoke
while his dinner is in course of prepara-
ton at the hands of the wife of his
bosom. He must at the earliest oppor-
tunity rid himself of the impression that
the household cares are to him a thing
apart. With his face wreathed in the
vapor of the coffee-pot. and the aroma of
roast beef in his n~ostrils, he must buckle
down to stern reality and the delights of
the frying pan; he must penetrate the
dense and gloomy Mysteries of the
bread board and the soup-kettle; he
must wade dauntlessly into the mince-
pie factory, and wrestle with the giants
of the biscuit foundry; he must unravel
the secrets of the potato-masher and
the rolling pin, and learn patience at the
edge Of the carving knife; he must be-
come adept in the manipulation of the
can-opener, and wade to domestic con-
tentment through oceans of cranberry
sauce and across mountains of baked
beans, until, with a recipe book in one
hand and a smudge of graham -four on
the end of his probascis, he shall wave
o11f4 q o~1- uph;ko koh1o o1oth o~l NM
claim the complete emancipation of his
better-half.
The man who marries the new woman
must not expect to "lay around and re.
fuse to help get the meals"