St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1895-01-20
CORK'S CRITICISMS.
He Tries to Get the Job Of
Interpreter in the Legis-
latupe
AND IS TURNED DOWN COLD.
the Position as Correspond
ent to King Oscar Also
Refused Him.
THE MAKEUP OF THE HOUSE
As Seen From the Galleries
One Day Last
Week.

When was a boy-and it didn't hap
pen in this state, either-I imagined
that member of the legislature was a.
little tin god on wheels. I'm older now
than L was then. Now [ think he's
only wheels. [ don't know what I'll
think If L keep on growing older My
future opinion of the legislator looks
Dad from here. 1t might have been
different if [ had been elected, but as it
IS, it is different anyway. Of course
there are a few in the legislature who
enjoy my good opinion. They are the
members [ don't know. The trouble
with me is that I tried to get job in
the legislature and failed. That's what
makes me sore, and SO. like the average
politician, sit me down here to get
rid of all the spleen I've got enseonced
in my gizzard. I propose to make
a lot of nasty remarks. It's the
fashion in politics after you're defeat
ed, and, as heretofore indicated, [ al
ways follow the style
| went up to the state house and
tried to get the appointment of inter-
prefer. 1 had found it amusing to
watch the efforts of the members to
understand each other, and knew in
stinctively that they needed an inter-
prefer, but were afraid to ask for one.
Il this system of catering to outsiders
IS kept up, after a while the audience
alone will need the interpreter The
members will be perfectly able to I'M
derstand each other. They will all
talk the same tongue-Swede
l sat in the gallery the other day and
closed my eyes to shut out the farm
yard scenes on the floor. My ears were
open, though, and they filled rapidly
with a converse ton that reminded me
of my trip through the land of the
midnight sun. When Iopened my eyes
and found myself still in st. Paul, U.
S. A, was startled. For even [ can
become startled, no matter what
passed through when I was crawling
for office. And this is no josh.
Well, as I started out, l wanted the
job Of interpreter in the interests of
the public good, and approached two
American citizens with request for
the appointment. These two apostles
of the red, white and blue stared at me
one of them said:
Wall, aye tank haze ben perty
smart" and the other replied:
Wall, aye tank haze BEN
I was panied. Who wouldn't be?
was worse than that. I was wild
Whats the matter with you fell
lers?" L inquired, just as angry;
they've had Interpreters in Minnesota
ever since they began to settle the
state. They've been settling it ever
since. It'll be good and settled if this
thing goes on. If 1 can't be interpret
err up here in the house I'll exercise the
functions of one on the newspaper. 1t
is necessary for the good of the public.
We haven't any Of your kind of type
in our office. We haven't Norwegian
artist, and are forced to interpret your
faces with pen pictures. If you don't
help us ont we'll have to send the house
proceedings to King Oscar for transla
ton. Now, you see by a little expense
that can be done just as we'll in this
country-just as well. Besides, it will
save Oscar trouble, and prevent rows
in the custom house. Oscar, no doubt,
will approve my appointment, because
he is next to the way you guys spiel,
and, being a proper sort of a gesabe,
he will recognize the eXigencieS of the
occasion"
1t wouldn't go. EXigencies was too
high for them. 1t made them dizzy.
igencies, and the other replied that he
didn't care to meet Exig, and that Os-
car wouldn't recognize him if he got
flash of him.
DO you use Warmers liver regu-
lator?" I asked, and the high guy ran
his fins through his MANILA hair, and
said he could cure all his meat with
out the aid of regulators or anything
like it. I saw this same pipe at Reber's
restaurant later on, and he was SHOW
cling potatoes into his face with a
knife, the descriptive term for such ac-
ton being swallowing the sword
He drank the Worcestershire sauce and
soaked his bread in Alsop's ale, taking
the name of the ale literally, and max
ing it a case of All-sop.
Failing in my desire to get the job
of interpreter, I asked them to ap-
point me correspondent to King oscar,
and promised to give him a faithful
account of everything that occurred in
his branch of America. They refused.
They said he read the papers that were
sent to him at the expense of the state.
Reads the GLOBE, suppose" 1
said, affably.
Nav" was the answer, ''hae ben
guide mon an haze says de Scandlna-
WAN"
I tried to get them to subscribe for
the GLOBE, but they said 1t was a
needless expense, because they dldn
read any English paper, and besides
King Oscar objected to having the pro-
ceedings of the house published in any
but the Scandinavian language.
Finally 1 asked them if they would
give me a match, but they said they
were under no obligations to me, as L
didn't live il their district. Then L
asked them to give me their word that
no one else would be appointed inter-
prefer. They gave me that, and that's
all 1 got. Then I felt grateful and
highly elated to think that L could
make such Roadway in a foreign body.
After leaving them I went out on the
sidewalk, and sat down on the curb
stone to think of America as it is. A
burly officer came along.
Wall. aye tank yeou move along,
he said, and with wild howl L
moved.
He probably thought that sitting on
the curbStone occasioned too -nuch
pressure on the brain. Any way
moved on. 1 think I'll keep on moving.
III move out of the state. l think I'll
go back to the placid banks of the
muddy Maumee and dig potatoes.
can get something out OF that. can
get potatoes.
We have had lots of periods in this
world since chaos. We have had the
eozoic, the paleozoic, the mesozoic and
the cenozoic periods. This is the Nor
Wegian period.
Every once in while the world has
general shaking up. It's taken up IN
a bag, so to speak, and the contents
are distributed over the earth. We got
part of Norway in the last shake.
Let's shake back. There's a horse on
US. CORh.