davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06
uUMOR OF THE DAY.

Time fies-Seventeen-ye locusts.
Barking dogs sometimes bite the
dust.
It is the man who beats that is will
ing to let by-gones be by-gones.
The camel is lucky brute. 1t never
has to hump itself. Troy Press.
A lawsuit wears out sooner at the
pockets than at the knees.-Puck.
A skeptic is man who doubts the
accuracy of his own watch. Puck.
Talk about women being fighty !,
Look at bank cashiers. Texas Sift-
ings.
1t is probably called pin money be-
cause the husband is stuck for it
Troy Press.
Our uncle, the pawnbroker, may not
have pleasant ways, but we have top put
up with him Puck.
Nearly all the men who have in
vented flying machines are residing III
our cemeteries.
That many men have many minds
Proverbial law astutely finis.
To me it oftener seems to fall
That many have no mind at ALL
The mite that the Anarchist is will
ing to contribute for the promotion
of his cause is dynamite. Detroit
Free Press
81 didn't know it was SO late," said
the volcano, awaking from its long
slumber; 81 must start my fire. -
Chicago Tribune.
When Fogg has run upstairs and ar
rives at the top out of breath, he very
properly refers to his pneumatic tire.
Boston Transcript.
Mrs. Slimdiet-'Don't you find it
little lonesome sitting down to luncheon
all alone?" Bordaire-"Oh, no; the
cheese is here. Truth.
'1've got it in for you, my friend.
soliloquized the mosquito, sinking it a
little deeper in the sleeping victims
nose.-Chicago Tribune.
We are all willing to acknowledge
that we have our faults; but mighty
few of us are willing to acknowledge
the faults our friends see in us. Puck.
Wealth does not bring coutentment,
And none gets what he axes:
For II he did, he'd want the earth,
And growl about the taxes.
Judge.
''From what I've been reading I
suppose boarding houses must have
been found first in Turkey" "Will
you explain why?" ''The best variety
of prunes grows there"
(Which of us would you rather
have?" asked one of the two men run
ming across the field. 81 don't care"
replied the bull; '.it's toss up be-
tween you. ."-Washington Star.
Don't You think Mrs. Stanton's
opinions are very much biased?" Mrs.
Latestyle - ''Mercy, I am not sur
prised, for she hasn't any more idea
of style than q heather. Chicago
Inter-Ocean.
''They amputated his leg after all,
eh? What made the doctors wait so
long?" "Judgin' from their bills, it
must have been to give 'em a chance to
pull it before they took it of. ff."-Buf-
falo Courier.
Jack-'I don't believe all that
stuff about women always wanting the
last word" Dick-"Whyd don't you?
Jack-''Well, last night told Miss
Checkbook that knew that was not
worthy of her, and she did not say
word in reply."-Inter- Oc can.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06

Lake superior is III danger of losing
its distinction of being the largest fresh
plorers begin to think lake Victoria
Nyanza Is larger.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06

"What We want Of you," said the edi
tor to the poet, 'is something new."
But what do you call newY
"Something worked over and smash
ed till you can't recognize it."-Atlanta
Constitution.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06
Nobody Knew.

Wilkins-WhO Is that man!
Bilkins-That's Prof. Littlewitt, the
famous weather prophet He makes
predictions three months ahead an0
publishes them in all the daily papers.
do they come true?"
mo one knows. Nobody keeps daily
papers that lOng."-New York Weekly.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06

When snake has gorged itself with
a large meal, its skin IS SO stretched
that the scales are some distance apart.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06
Dangerously Bright.

DanGerously Bright.
Sunday School Teacher-What are we
10 understand by this passage: "Ye ask
md receive not because ye ask amiss?"
PrecociOus Boy-Ought to ask o
widOw.-St Louis Republic.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06
Time for Reflection,

Kitty-Jack says he will stop drink.
Ing II I will marry him.
Janet-Well. be careful. my dear. It's
easier for him to begin again than 1t Is
for you to get unmarried.-DetroitF Free
Press.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06

FITS stopped free Oy DIR. KLNE's GREAT
NERVE RFsroRER. No dts after first days use.
Marvellous cures. Treatise and 100 trial bot
lie free. DR.. kim. g9l Arch St. Phila.. Pa.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06

Scrofnln, salt rheum, and all disease of the
blood dyspepsia. headache kidney and liver
complaints, and catarrh, are cured By Hoods
sarsaparilla, the great blood purifier.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06

IT. Kilmers SwAMP-Roor curas
all Kidney and Bladder troublea
lamplet and Consultation free
Laboratory Binghamton. N. Y.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06

One reason why we are doing SO little
to-day is because we have our hands so
full of yesterday and tomorrow.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06

A Canadian experimenter preserves
wood from the boring beetle by soaking
1T two or three months in q saturated
solution of lime.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06
Withdrawing 1t.

Il will withdraw my suit" remarked
young Jobson. as he counted up his
cash and found that II cOrresponded
with the sum on his pawn ucket-Bos
ton Home Journal.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06

Piso's Cure for Consumption is No I
Asthma medicIne.-W. X. WILLIAMS. Antioch
Ills, April IL, 1921
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06

q E Jay h a W k
family was in g
state of intense
excitement, which
increased as the
Fourth of July
sppro q c h g d.
Nothing had oc-
CURED since the
birth of Jehial,
the only scion of
that rural house
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06
He Lost Caste.

Haverly-That policeman seems to
be stunned by the rest Of his brother
officers.
Austln-Yes. When he was charged
with violently clubbing an inoffensive
citizen he proved himself quite inno'
cent Of the charge.-New York World
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for children
teething, softens the gums, reduces intam ma
ton. allays pain. cures wind collie. zoe a bottle
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06

lfrA Plune-''Don't you think my
new bonnet il perfect dream" Plume
-"Yss; and . mighty psd ess."~
puok
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06

OA<O @ANJO3 x -
Both the method and results when
Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant
and refreshing to the taste, and acts
gently yet promptly on the Kidneys,
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys-
tenn effectually, dispeis colds, head
aches and fevers and cures habitual
constipation. Syrup of Figs is the
only remedy of its kind ever pro-
duced, pleasing to the taste and ac-
ceptable to the stomach, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial in its
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances, its
many excellenf qualities commend it
to all and have made it the most
popular remedy known.
Syrup of Figs is for sale in so
cent bottles by all leading drug
gists Any reliable druggist who
may not have it on hand will pro-
cure it promptly for any one who
wishes to try it. DO not accept any
substitute. a
CALIFORNIA re SXRUP co.
| sIx kRAscssco. cAL
S90NAs IL NV vo16 ~
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06
Near Training Quarters.

Motifs 1t true that pugilists are S.
liberal with their money that they are
proverbially poor?
Stott-Nonsense; they are the most
close -fisted men In the world.-New
York World.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06

The Southern Pacific will use elec.
trio headlights on all its locomotives.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06
Time Flies with the Butterfiies.

Miss Giddy-You don't recognize tina.
letter? Why. Algy, that's one you
wrote me last summer proposing mar.
riage.
Algy-Lawst summer! A :, that,
ancient history in our set. But isn't
1t a jolly good thing you refused me,
80 now we're good chums instead OF
man and wifeLNew York World.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06
or Course She Took 1t.

OF Course She Took 1t.
Lady-What Is the price Of this crepei
Clerk-That Is SO cents a yard, mad
am.
Lady-Oh. that's outrageOusly high.
Clerk-But It's reduced from 81.
Lady-Is that so? You can give me
ten yards, then.-To Date.
Bathing Suits Down Below.
satan-Tell that young lady she neeu
not bring her bathing suit with her;
It's too suggestive Of water.
Shade-She says bathing suits are
not worn In the water nOw.-New York
World.
Too Bad.
"Why don't you try to be more orig
lnalf' asked the publisher.
II do my best" replied the detected
author, ''but It's Of no use. Whenever
1 get good idea I find that these class,
ical od-timers have gone ahead and
plagiarized 1t before get a chance at
it"-Washington Star.
At rheir 8 O'Clock Tea.
The Daughter Of the Revolution-At
our last meeting Mrs. Oldfield told how
her great grandmother sacrificed the
family plate for the cause.
The Colonial Dame-Yes; I've heard
that the continentals were often hard
pushed to find lead for their bullets
Truth.
Expensive
RounderLThis has been q very ex.
pensive summer for me.
Sounder-I thought you sent your
family away on a farm somewhere?
Rounder-So did. But stayed In
town.-Philadelphia Record.
It Would Mako Us All Happy.
Masher-Ah! my dear lady, speak the
word that will make me the happiest
of mortals.
Wealthy Heiress- y!-sonntags
Plauderer.
Gave Himself Away.
May-I know he has never loved be
fore.
Clara-Why?
Maybe can't kiss without making q
smack.-Truth.
Not Do.
"You wouldn't do for a cable car con-
ductor," said the water pipe to the gas
meter.
"WhyT asked the gas meter.
"You register too much."-Hariem
Life.
The Modern Poet.
Fffend-Do you know that am at
last beginning to understand your
poetryr =
Great Magazine POet-Heavensi is Il
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06

Hoods Pills cure jaundice biousness, sick
constipation and all liver ills
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06
The Modern Poet

Fffend-Do you know that am at
last beginning to understand your
poetry!
Great Magazine Poet-Heavensi is II
then true that am losing my cunning3
Syracuse Post.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06
THE FOURTH AT KA BOB
By FORREST CRIssEY.

go H E Jsyh
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06
Not Do.

"You wouldn't do for a cable car con-
ductor," said the water pipe to the gas
meter.
"WhyT asked the gas meter.
"You register too much."-Harlem
Life.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06
Bathing suite Down Below.

Bathing suite Down Below.
Satan-Tell that young lady she neeu
not bring her bathing suit with her;
It's too suggestive Of water.
Shade-She says bathing suits are
not worn In the water nOw.-New York
World.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06

Expensive
Rounder-This has been q very ex.
pensive summer for me.
Sounder-I thought you sent your
family away on a farm somewhere?
Rounder-So did. But I stayed In
town.-Philadelphia Record.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-11-06

'.From what I've been reading I
suppose boarding houses must have
been found first in Turkey" "Will
you explain why?" ''The best variety
of primes proEs there"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-01-10
A PRETTY HOME WEDDING.
Mr.. John r. Davis WEEDS Miss Eva
Josephine Middleton.

A pretty home wedding was celebrated
at the residence of the brides parents. No
100 Duffy street, last evening Mr.. John r.
Davis and Miss Eva Josephine Middleton
being the contracting parties. Rev. A
NJ. Williams of Wesley Monumental
church ohiciated at the ceremony. The
parlors were filed with palms and potted
plants, and many friends of the happy
couple We're present to congratulate them
The bride was gowned in a travelling dress
and wore no ornaments. The groom is an
employe of the Morning News composing
room, and the bride is the daughter of
Mr.. and Mrs. II. J. Middleton. The cou-
pie were the recipients of many handsome
and useful presents.
Mr.. and Mrs. Davis left amidst a shower
of rice via the Central railroad last night
for Kansas City TO visit the parents of
the groom, and will be absent from the
city about three weeks ON their return
to Savannah they will reside at No. 100
DuffV street
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-01-10
IN STOCK TO-DAY
At Estin's News Depot, 81! Bull
Street.

Savannah Morning and Weekly News.
Sandow on Physical Training. by G. Mer-
Ger Adam; The Waits of Fighting Rocks.
by Capt. Charles McIlvaine; From Heyen
to New York, or the Good Hearts and
the Brown Stone Fronts, by Isaac GEORGE
Reed, Jr.; Constance. by +. c. Phillips
author of As in a Looking Glass; Bevond
the City, by A. Conan Doyle: In the Davs
of the Mutiny. by G. A. Henty: A Case of
Identity, A. Conan Doyle; The Man From
Archangel, by y. Conan Doyle; A Loval
Lover, by Mrs. Z. Lovett Cameron: Sin
gularly Deluded, by Sarah Grand: Ladies'
Home Journal for January; L'Art de Ia
Mode for February; New York Daily
Herald, World, Sun, Times. Tribune
Press. America, Recorder, Zeitung. Phila-
delphia Daily Press. Times Daily Re
corder Boston Daily Herald. Boston
Globe, Washington ID. c. Post. Balti-
more American, Baltimore Sun. Chicago
Inter Ocean, Times, Cincinnati Gazette
Enquirer, St. Louis Republic. LouisvilIa
Courier-Journal Atlanta Constitution
Macon Telegraph, Augusta ChronicIe
Charleston News and Courier, Colur3
bia Is. c. State, Florida Times
Union, Atlanta Journal.-ad.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-01-10
THE CHATHAM BANKS ELECTION.
Three New Directors Added to the
Board to Fill Vacancies.

The Chatham Bank held its annual cleo
ton of directors in the presidents office
yesterday, between y and o'clock. The
election was in charge of NIessrs. Anthony
Fernandez and Lester Hubbell as tellers
and from the beginning the balIoting was
quite lively.
More than three-fourths of the 5000
shares of capital stock were voted and
the following directors were elected with
out opposition: Nessrs. c. S Ellis. ].
W. Fretwell, w. w Chisholm George A.
Hudson, Leopold Adler, Thomas Ballan-
tyne, b. II. Levy, NJ. L. Byck, r. F. Bur
dell, W. f. McCauey, C. f. Prendergast
and Pope Barrow.
The three last mentioned directors were
elected to make complete board of
twelve, as required by the charter. three
members of the old board having resigned
within the last year and a half or two
years During the election an elegant
lunch was served in one of the upstairs
rooms of the bank and for time the
stockholders and their friends were roy
ally entertained by the members of the
board and officers who were on hand
The board will hold a meeting TODAY
to perfect permanent organization for the
ensuing year Mr.. w W. Chisholm is the
present president, Mr. r. r Burdell.
cashier, while the office of vice president
is vacant
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-01-10
A QUIET oHURoH WEDDING.
Marriage of Mr.. M. T. 0uinan, Jr., and
Miss Anna Jordan at st. Patriok's
Church.

Marriage of Mr.. M. T. Quinan, Jr., and
Miss Anna Jordan at st. Patrick
Church.
There was a quiet but pretty and pleas
ant church wedding at st. Patrick S
church yesterday morning al o'clock
in which the contracting parties We're Mr..
Michael Thomas Qunan Jr, and Miss
Annie NJ Jordan. The ceremony was wit
messed only by the relatives and most in
innate friends of the bride and groom
and after it was over. Mr.. and Mrs. Qui-
nan received the congratulations of their
friends, and took the morning train on
the Savannah. Florida and Western rail
road for Florida, where they win be gone
for about two weeks.
The bride is the charming daughter OF
MIR. George J.. Jordan, and has numerous
friends in the city. She has many ad-
mirable and amiable qualities, which have
made her a general favorite among ner
friends.
Mr.. Qunan is a son OF Mr.. NJ. r. Out
nan. and is now employed as teller in the
banking house of Messrs. Hun & Lathrop
where he started in business about FIVE
years ago and has rapidly pushed his way
towards the front lie is "a bright young
business man and has many friends in the
city who wish him and his bride a bright
and successful future.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-01-10
TACKLED THE COURT OFFICIALS.
Clairvoyant Moore Does a Few Tricks
in Macon.

Deputy Marshal Walter Dayton re-
turned from Macon yesterday morning,
where he escorted Dr. Frank B. Moore,
Of clairvoyant fame. Moore was taken be
fore Commissioner Erwin of Macon and
was released on $1,000 bail to appear be-
fore Judge Speer for a hearing not later
than jamie.
As soon as Moore was released ne at
once got TO work astonishing the natives
and Mr.. Dayton reports that he is sue
ceeding to the queens taste Moore first
got in his work on the United States Of
fcials, including Marshal Harreu and the
clerks of the courts. They were asked to
write a lot of names of dead and living
friends while Moore went out of the
room. The slips on which the name
were written We're tightly folded, but
Moore by simply placing them TO his fore
head distinguished between the dead and
the living, and did it so readily that the
officials were completely mystided. Moore
then paid call to the Macon Telegraph
Office, where he was turned over to the
snake editor The result was that he got
a column in Yesterdays Telegraph. Mr.
Dayton acknowledges that he is com
pletely at loss to explain the feats per-
formed by Moore in his presence. Moore
is undoubtedly the slickest man in his
business that has ever been in this sec
ton.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-01-10
TALK OF THE TICKET.
DR.. Duncan's Friends TO Rally To-mor-
row Night.

A large attendance Is expected al the
meeting Of pr Duncans supporters az the
theater tomorrow night 10 receive the re-
port OF the committee appointed to SCI
lcct ticket of alderman. Besides re-
ceiving and accepting the ticket there
will be some other features to tho meeting.
Short speeches are expected from several
of DR. Duncan's leading supporters.
There is considerable curiosity as TO the
ticket ana the meeting will undoubtedly
be "a large one. The members OF the COM
mittee are very close-mouthed as 10 the
ticket and though the majority OF the
names that win be ON 10 are known there
are still several which are uncertain and
the committeeman claim that they viii
spring some entirely new names. IL was
reported yesterday that John r.. Young
would be one of those named on the
ticket 1t is known that MT Young has
been solicited by both sides TO allow the
use Of his name and there is good reason
TO believe that the report that ne is on
the Duncan ticket is correct II is known
that Mr.. John L. Lubs is slated for a place
on the ticket. The names OF Mir. +. }.
OConnor and Mr. James Il Morrison are
reported to be on the ticket but IL Is not
known positively that the name Of either
gentlemen is on the ticket.
A new feature Of tho campaign is the
campaign buttons which are now beiug
sold on the streets. Both Duncan and
Myers buttons are being worn. Every ar
dent partisan viii soon Doe wearing his
candidates likeness in his button-holc.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-01-10
BAKING POWDER
THE INpoRsERs CAUGHT.
They are the Ones Who VIII Suffer By
the Receivership.

There were no further developments in
the Electric Railway receivership yester-
day. Receiver Young is in fun charge,
and is directing the operations OF the
property. Several prominent bondhOlders
who were seen expressed the opinion that
the receivership would be made perma-
nent at the hearing in Augusta before
Judge Speer Jan. Is. They seem to think
that this would be the best solution Of
the difficulties into which the company
has gotten. and that reorganization could
be effected easier through the medium
of a receivership than in any other man
ner.
The receivership is no surprise to me,
said a gentleman who has been promi-
nently identified with the Savannah Street
railroad Those on the inside have eX-
pected il any time during the last twelve
months or more. My understanding is
that Mr.. Pevear of Lynn, Mass. who
brings the bill. bought his bonds from
the Nashville people, or, more probably
from the Thomson Houston Electric Com
pany, which received them from the Nash
Vile people. He has received no interest
on his bonds in eighteen months. and he
cannot be blamed for the step he has
taken. The recetvershfp is really a good
thing for the bOndholders of both roads,
l think. The plan of reorganization which
it was proposed 10 be put through would
not have improved the situation materi-
ally. There would have been merely
shifting of obligations. The roads are run
ming down and the equipment wearing out
with no prospect of any immediate i'm
provement. The best thing that can hap
pen for the bondholders is for the road
TO be sold out by a receiver. The bond
holders can then buy the property in
with their bonds, and the property will
be clear of Indebtedness. The holders of
the floating debt and the indorsers on the
company's paper Will be the ones to suf-
fer. The number of the bondholders who
viii be caught in this way will be compar-
atively few. Most of them fOresaw what
was coming and got from under The
road will then be reorganized under a new
management There is very little pros
pect of Mr.. George Parsons acquiring
possession of the property, even should
he desire to do so, which I doubt very
much. He would have to put up $500,000
In cold cash to get the property, as that
IS the amount of the bonded Indebtedness
of the two roads 1t is not likely that
Mr.. Parsons has a half million which he
desires to invest in Savannah at present
The prospect is that the property will be
reorganized at an early date after pass
ing through the hands of the receiver"