New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1895-05-05
PATS Personal PROPERTY.
1T CONSISTED OF HIS WIFE AND HIS
GOAT

1T CONSISTED OF HIS WIFE AND HIS
GOAT.
April 90 has come and gone, and the days OF the
personal tax dodger are thing Of the past for the
rast of tfe year The Swearing" train started on
the second Monday IN January and has been run
ming at high pressure until 4 p. IN. on Tuesday
when the personal tax books for lS5 We're closed.
The applcants for relief from personal taxation
have never before been more numerous The ENFORCE
nent OF the law each year makes 1t more oppressive
and this year the result Of the hard times and
Clevelands income tax felt and the personal tax
is doubly Objectionable. Ingenuity Is among the
things taxed In evolving ways 70 dodge payment
Tax-paying VAS ever unpopular but never more
so than in these times This city Is the great
centre Of wealth. and. with the present tax laws,
the position OF a Tax Commissioner Is not the
easiest one I'm the city government. He must SIT
and wait the pleasure and coming OF the taxed ne
must explain the law and show the unfortunate
why IT is his duty to yield and be taxed Fer-
sons will declare TO the Commissioners Il nave no
personal property" II am not liable" That IL too
much" Il would Ike 10 know why am annoyed
with these notices" or similar ordinations.
The Commissioner then proceeds 10 Investigate
and explain. lie Is often told that he Is lmper-
tinent. because OF his Inquiries "a 10 personal
property, and women have been known To rant
while Others become hystcrlcal at the mere mention
~ personal property and sounds like the walls OF
lost souls frequently emanate from the Commits
slonors Once. Unreasonable persons must be
pncncl and countless questions answered.
Tho Commandments responsibility ~ heavy, the
tax laws are cNicting. and, nH A consequence, th'
Commissioner must bear tho blame 81 being
arbitrary unjust ana unreasonable. People una
fault with him instead ~ blaming N" laws. ana
IAN - give help 10 the tax reform associations
who sock io have the laws altered.
Again. humor and variety are not wanting In tho
Tax Department. In fact the brightest comedy In
town becomes grim tragedy compared with some
Incidents that hayo occurred. Tho following act
uniiy happened. A. the call Of "NcXt" typical
Ir.hman shunlcl in and took seat beside tho
Commissioner. Upon handing the Commissioner
Ms notice (Which no had undoubtedly consulted
several times daily since he received H. TO judge
by its dlapllatcl tonditon). he was asked
"What is your Nance
"paihrick Mulcahey. sor'
"Where DO You live"
ION Firth ayornoo. sor"
"On FINh-aye.?'
''Yis. I'm "A shanty on tho rocks"
"Iavc you any personal propertyY
IL have sOr.'
what does II consist orr
''Mc wolfc-aud goat"
lie WAS well pleased at rot being assessed. and
told the messenger at tho door In confidence: But
| can't understand. FOR the lofe Of me. how It IS
that Mary Ann isn't personal property"
\ gentleman who had evidently had a long sos-
sion as a member OF the Committee on Jags APP
peared before ono OF the Tax Commissioners the
other day. and throwing down nonresident
notice. said:
SHAY. sonny hic). you can't assesh me-
'Why not?"
"Shlmply becaush I'm Grand hic) Army bum
(hic, and whash more live IN Jersey (hc).'
The white haired officer Is blamed for keeping
the people In line.
The messengers arc blamed for allowing
applicants to be favored by an audience with
Commissioner out OF their turn. barber shop
system OF FIRST come. first served" must be OBJ
served Every feeling oppressed by taxation
looks upon the Tax Commissioner an arbitrary
official who IL taking money unjusty for the ciy's
use All cry for well-paved and clean streets: for
police and fire protection; for the health OF the
city: for moro lights more water and more parks.
and stln grumblo when asked TO be taxed.
The line OF applicants at the Tax Department
seeking relief is a study. The president OF a trust.
a liquor-selier, n minister. a paSnbroker. doctor.
A marketman, peddler. are all awaiting audi
once before the Tax Commissioner.
The law for a resident nonresident must be
explained. The dealer I'm imported goods I'm orig
poration grumbcs at the latest decision OF the
court. The widow With II small personal estate all
In taxable securities, upon the income OF which
she IS supposed to support ana educate large
the unlustness OF the law and the unyielding Com
missioner The estate OF the millionaire is repre-
scented By eminent counsel and equity is preached
TO the Commissioner. The Commissioner in turn
asks for a reference to the law and the authorize
ton Of equity. Tho wealthy man maintains two
residences and while he enjoys the benefits of tho
metropolis for business and n residence for a
part OF the year. swearS of on the ground OF non
residence. People never admit that they are in
solvent other than when before a tax commits
sioner Then. In the most complaccnt manner
they will swear that their debts exceed their per-
sonal property. -
rotions and escapes. lie dies. and has a non resI-
dent executor and the estate escapes. His capital is
borrowed from his mother-in-law In Brooklyn or
his cousin I'm Kansas and escapes.
The stock broker who patronzes "Dels swears
of on The ground that he has no capital works
on commissions only The liquor dealer is in
The brewer declares the mortgages to be value
less. and also escapes.
wrestling with the taxed hoping 10 get sufficient 10
supply The city's wants. All want TO escape ali
cry against the tax rate. all demand improvements
ana sill the unfortunate Tax Commissioner musi
expound the law and deny MS right OF power 10
grant voluntary relief. The corporation swears
10 tho return OF assets and indebtedness and tbs
Individual 10 his personal property and debts
and thinks; perfidy and assumed Ignorance are
nj n nremIiu and the Commissioner calls for tha
next one and thus the days and weeks in he
Tax Department 20 on, ,..
hook ~ his experience In his particular branch ~
the CITY government, but I'm no department ia
character In It's varied types more exemplIned
than In the Tax Department, ana a commissioner
who has served n time there. and gone fhrouyh
with the criticisms showerod upon him, could write
book OF his experiences, enhanced with scenes and
Incidents that TO the uninitiated would seem over
drawn still they would be real WV
IN, thern IA one consolation In Il all "a tha
Commissioner when this earthly strife Ii ali over
and he himself goes before Higher Commissioner.
his return vii, undoubtedly be !ndorsed: "Assess
ment annuiled-hs has had enough Hades on
earth"