davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1895-08-08
singers so before. and the Ministries fol-

singers so before, and the MINISTRIES fol-
low after"
Courtship and marriage are recog-
nized targets for wittioisms, of which
Mr.. Punch's famous Don't" is undoubt-
eddy the most brilliant example of a
happy answer. Most of them are of
the same cynical character. A care
worn divine is reported to have said, in
| reply to the ecstatic declaration of an
intending Benedict that nothing in the
world beats good wife, "Oh, yes, a
bad husband does, and--vice versar
| One would like to have known the
schoolgirl who, in reply to her broth
er's jeers and inquiry, Why girls should
be always kissing each other and men
not? said that of course 1t was because
girls had nothing better to kiss and
| men had--lbut perhaps she studied the
question: too deeply, and developed into
| the fair cynic who, after a season or
two of conquests, gave it as her opinion
| that men were like colds, very easy to
catch and very hard to get rid of. Few
better things are recorded than the an
swer of Beaconsfield to the question
| how he felt after the change from the
stormy scenes of the Commons to the
serene atmosphere Of the Lords.
| Feel" answered the statesman, II feel
as though were dead and buried" and
| then, noticing, for the first time, that
| his questioner was a Peer, he added,
| with charming smile and bow, "and
amongst the blest spirits of the great
and good" This adroit recovery from
an unfortunate slip recalls the familiar
story of the Prince Regent and the Of
| ficer of marines. In those brave old
\ days of free drinking the empty bottles
| which gathered apace We're styled ma
rines," for what reason 1t is hard to say,
! The prince called to a servant, and bade
him Clear away those marines" An
| officer of that distinguished corps, who
was present, resented the observation
as being-to adopt the phraseology of
| Mr.. Wellers mottle-faced friend-"per-
| sonal to the cloth" and requested an
EXPLANATION. my dear Colonel" said
his Royal Highness, with winning cour-
| tesy. II called them marines because,
/ like your fellows, they've done their
duty. and are ready to do 1t again.
The apt replies In the iaaguage Of COM
pliment claim literature of their own,
| HIM one must serve pour indiquer les
| autreg eve shall never forget you,'
|
| subjects who was making his adieux.
.sYour ladyship has now given me the
only inducement not to return"
A few examples Of the retort courte-
Gus must conclude our list. Il see,
| said an old cavalier, on being shown
| medal Of Cromwell's, with religious
inscription on one side and the arms OF
! the republic on the other, i see; you
put God and the Commonwealth on OPP
| posite sides" Akin to this was Swift's
remark on seeing medal of William OF
Orange, with his motto, Non rapui SEQ
RECEIPT" "The receiver is as bad as the
thief" quoth the Dean. Waterloo IS
avenged" shrieked jubilant Gaul,
when the French horse won the Derby.
| Yes" growled Briton who had laid
against him, you ran well In both
cases" I'm going to astonish you, my
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1895-08-08
HopN ron CHICAGo.

Can anything good come out of Chi
cago? Before saying no wait and see
how the new civil service regulations
under which the employees of the great
city OF the plain win soon be placed
work. 1t Is believed that hereafter
men viii not be able to get their names
on the city pay rolls without giving
some evidence of fitness to I'LL the posi-
tions which they seek to occupy, and
that those whose only qualification Is
the ownership of a political pull will
be unable to secure employment in any
city department. Not only will the
men and women who hold clerkships
or positions of special responsibility
be obliged to comply with the regula-
tons adopted by the civil service COM
missioners. but the common laborers
are to be employed and retained and
promoted on basis OF character and
faiuhfulness The rules adopted by
the commissioners are regarded as mod
els by those who understand what Is
required in order to make the system a
success. The thoroughness with which
the commissioners have performed their
work may be Illustrated by reference
to the regulationswhich must be COM
piled with by those who seek to gain
admission to class A, which embraces
the official and more permanent posi-
TONS To be eligible for aplace in this
class one must be a citizen of the
United States, must have been a resi-
dent of Chicago at least one year and
must be between twenty and forty Live
years Of age, provision being made
THAT the latter requirement may be
waived in certain cases. The examina-
ton required is practical I'M its nature,
and in order to pass, the candidate
must attain general average of 70
per cent. Those who pass the exam
inaItion are placed on the eligible list,
and they will remain eligible for two
years. Appointments will be made from
those standing nearest the top on ex-
animation.
1t will be interesting If Chicago
changes from shocking example of
municipal corruption to model of
municipal purity. If 1t does faith in
popular government will receive new
justification.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1895-08-08

guess it's one of those lightning Bugs,
George. Workers Statesman,
Guest (angrilyl-What has become Of
that waiter l gave my order to most
an hour ago. Head Waiter-I don't
know, sab, but most likely he's waitin'
on some gent wot tipped him, sah.--
New York Weekly.
Miss Mildmay-I am sure that there
is good in Mr.. Spooner. He certainly is
very tender-hearted, Miss Frost-Yes,
he has a heart that has been rendered
to about every unmarried woman In
town,-Boston Transcript.
Jones-My wife went down town on
Wednesday and spent all she had ex-
cept l cent. Smith-If she does as well
as that on Wednesday, what would she
do on a bargain day? Jones-Get 1t
charged.-Buffalo Express.
Housekeeper-You think you can do
the moving in i've loads? Mover
Yes'm. That is, it will be five regular
loads, but l s'pose there'll be two or
three extra loads to take the things the
teamsters fopget.--New York Weekly.
Little Dlck--I don't believe Til be a
sailor when I'm growed up after all.
Little Dot-Why not? Little Dick--I
talked to an old man to-day who had
been q sailor for fifty years and never
been shipwreclped on q desert island
once.-Tt-Bits.
Fashionable Doctor-My dear young
lady, you are drinking unfiltered water,
which swarms with animal organisms.
You should have 1t boiled-that will
kill them. His patient-Well. doctor,
think I'd sooner be an aquarium than
a emetery.-Household Words.
Summer Resort Shortage.-"D Dear
Fannie" wrote a summer girl, don't
come to this hotel under any consider
alton. The landlord is the only man
here. and he is seventy years old and
married" Dear Jennie was the re-
ply, 81 won't. Our landlord is seventy
but he is bachelor. Detroit Free
Press.
An Erudite Conclusion-"What kind
of money are you in favor Off" inquired
the energetic statesman. (which metal
do you prefer as currency" "Wa-a-l,''
replied Farmer Corntossel, II dunno
2 I kin tell. But the one thing / dc
know is tibet eff put in my time STAN
in round argyin' an worrying bout
it, I'm purity doggone lfble not ter git
either of 'em."-Washington Star.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1895-08-08
THE HTEHW1Y CO1rgrTysrf,N

There Is some curious and silly talk
about the new Highway commission
Of this State being a political machine.
Those who have carefully watched its
work can heartily say In answer to
such talk that If it is a political ma
chine it is a pity that such a political
machine has not been in existence in
this State for many years. The com
mission has gone about its important
business with great skill and system.
1t has made surprisingly rapid progress
in its work, and the results of its wise
planning will soon be apparent A
political machine that can do for the
people Of the State what the Highway
commission has done and is doing is
worth having and should be encour-
aged. The great benefits Of good roads
will soon be apparent to all the people
Of the State, and as time goes on it
will be a very good thing for the State
If it continues to have such an efficient
and far-seeing Highway commission as
the one that is now so industriously
and intelligently at work.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1895-08-08

dear sir" said young French roue to
a money-lender. II don't know you,
and yet want you to lend me five hum
bred pounds I'm going to astonish
you great deal more" wasthe unex-
pected reply, II do know you, and yet
I'm going to lend it to YOU" AS gen
tie passage" of literary arms, with it's
dainty thrusts and courtly riposts on
both sides, the Oxford VS.. Cambridge
squibs of the Revolution period rank
high. 1t was thought advisable to send
troop of horse to Oxford, whose legit-
innate leanings We're well known.
Thereupon an Oxonian published the
following:
"our royal master saw with heedful
eyes
The want of his two Universities,
Troops he to Oxford sent as knowing
why
That learned body wanted loyalty;
But books to Cambridge gave as well
discerning
That that right loyal body wanted
learning"
The happy answer Of Sir William
Brown on behalf of Cambridge was
prompt and apt:
1.-THE king to Oxford sent troop Of
horse,
For Tories own no argument but force;
With equal care to Cambridge books he
sent,
For Wings allow no force but argu-
ment."
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1895-08-08

stems Of the feathers and below the
brim at the right side. A simple twist
of satin ribbon lies fiat on the brim and
encircles the crown.
Leghorns twisted into all sorts of
grotesque shapes and trimmed with
knots and pufings of tulle and few
great flowers are tastefully worn with
bingham and other wash dresses. Tiny
little cooked hats of bright yellow
rough straw with black tulle rosettes
and a bright rose e. so are as jaunty
and up-to-date looking now SIS they
were when first introduced, and they
are now admitted with tailor made
dresses. Many women who effect tailor
costumes are glad to avail themselves
of the license thus afforded
Sailors with very low crowns have
a pair of long wings set on the top of
the crown right in front The wings
spread away to either side and between
them rests a big full rose of brilliant
color. About the brim of the hat are
set rosettes of null and more flowers,
making the hat quite unlike the erst-
while simple sailor. Pure white sailors
with low crowns are trimmed all about
the briin with loose soft flowers. Set
on the very edge of the top of the hat
is a pair of lightly poised wings in
white. That's all there is to it, but
there results a hat that will go with
any rig. FLORETTE.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1895-08-08
SPARE THE BTRDy.

Many think that if the early bird had
not been so persistently shot there
would be fewer worms for the human
race to catch. Those who thus think
will find support for their idea in the
experiments which have been made by
the Massachusetts, Board of Agriculture
to find out to what extent certain birds
are of service in Kidding orchards of
such pests as canker worms and tent
caterpillars. In a large orchard at
Medford insects of all kinds were all
lowed to increase without molestation
during the season of 1894, and last win
ter means were taken to encourage
birds, especially the chickadees, to make
their homes in the trees of the orchard
The birds were lured by attractive
bats, and nesting places were provided
for them. AS a result, considerable
numbers of birds were kept in the or
chard during the entire winter, feed
ing, for the most part, on the eggs of
the canker-worm moth and the larvae
of other destructive insects. To ascer-
tain the extent of the protective work
being done by these birds several of
them were killed and their stomachs
were examined. It was found that the
stomachs of four birds contained 1,02S
eggs and 105 moths. In the ovaries
of each female moth were found about
1856 eggs. Estimating that each chicka-
dee will devour about thirty female
moths a day, the computation is made
that during the month when the canker-
worm moth crawls up the trees, along
in March and April, each chickadee will
be able to destroy about 1873, $50 eggs.
and will aid to this extent in preserv-
ing the orchard from devastation. It
is not strange, then, that the expert
mentors have come to the conclusion
THAT the chickadee is one of the best
friends the orchardist can have. The
oriole and the red-eyed vireo, like the
chickadees. are of service in destroy
ing pests.
Spare the bird and spoil the worm.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1895-08-08
-
FASHION NOTES.
Hard on Drug store Complications.

hatu oh OEuS sure SOfnpieAlOnss
Chiffon wells in white with black
spots are much worn. and while they
are very becoming, nothing could be
worse for the eyes. Another trouble
from them comes to some women, for
they are very warm and once on are
not safely removed because the most
perfect adjustment of powder or make
up cakes under them. requiring re-
doing If the face is to be on view with
out the veil On the other hand, such a
veil preserves the apparent freshness
of the skin all through a long outing
day, and then a heavy makeup may be
safely worn.
Many summer hats have all their
trimming served up on the top like
fruit on tray, but it is generally in
better taste to scatter it a little Black
straws are favored for picturesque
headgear and some of them are of ire
mendous size. The artists selection
here is only moderately large, but is
Of that shade and is showily trimmed
with ostrich plumes and tips. Several
punches Of crush roses are put at the
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1895-08-08


centrates specific lines of business in
certain districts and the offices of spe-
cihc branches of commercial interests
in certain buildings Is noted in San
Francisco, where a big building is be-
ing erected which is to be devoted eX-
cluslvely to offices for doctors, dentists,
oculists and aurists, 1t will not be
merely an agglomeratlon of offices, but
will be uniquely fitted with every neces-
sary and convenience for the use of the
specialists who are expected to occupy
1t. In addition to the suites of offices,
each planned with full regard to light
and ventilation, with reception rooms
and cabinets for private examinations
and microscopic tests, there will be an
operating room and one of the finest
medical libraries on the Pacific coast.
There will be a restaurant and some
apartments in the annex, and in every
way the building is intended to offer
to the specialists expected to occupy it
every aid to their practice. Already
many of the offices are engaged
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1895-08-08
SEEN.

Stout lady lat street crossing, to po-
liceman)-Could you see me across the
street, officer? Policeman-Sure, mad
am, 1 could see We tin times the dis
tance aisy."--Waif
Ellis-Miss Ballad has remarkably
sweet voice. Warburton-She ought to
have. It has cost me about sixty
pounds of chocolates in the last six
months.-Boston Courier.
She-Oh my! There's something gone
down my back! He-It's one of those
laundering bugs, I suppose. mo; I
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1895-08-08
Advertising Rates.

Situations, Wants. Rents and other small adj
yertisements, One Cent u Word each inser-
ton. Five cents word for full week (seven
tjmcs).
Display Advertisements-Per inch, ono III
sertion, 81 .20 each subsequent insertion. 40
cents one week, $3.50; one mouth, $40; one
year. $40.
Obituary notices, in prose or verse. * cents
per line. Notices of Births, Marriages Deaths
and Funerals, so cents each. Local notices, Is
cents per line.
Yearly advertisers are limited to their own
t!onable), and their conti acts do not include
Wants. To Let, For Sale, etc.
Discounts-On two inches or more. one
month and over, 10per cent; on four inches
or more, one month and over, Is per cent.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1895-08-08

Among the coal and iron dealers of
Pittsburgh there is considerable interest
in new experiment in transportation
by means of steel barges which is being
tried on the Ohio river. If successful,
as it promises to be, 1t means that all
the old wooden river and canal craft
which have carried the products Of the
mines hitherto must soon give way to
modern barges constructed Of steel,
capable of carrying greater burdens with
less draft, and not as liable to become
disabled by accident The trial craft
which is running on the Ohio is Of steel,
it's length being 275 feet, its beam 50
feet, and its depth 4 feet 6 inches
Though its weight is 80 tons, it draws
only IL inches of water when unladen.
Carrying 16 laden railroad cars, $50 tons.
with three feet draught, this boat goes
to replace wooden barge with only a
12-car capacity, weighing some 600 tons,
and drawing twenty inches unladen. 1t
is this superiority over the wooden craft
that has persuaded a st. Louis trans
portation company to invest upwards
of $4,000 in it. Such boats can be set
afioat, it Is believed, at a cost of about
$4,000 each, as against $500 or 5000 for
the wooden boats, but the longer life
Of the steel boats and their increased
carrying capacity will far overbalance
the difference in cost. An important
advance step in river and canal trans
portation is predicted as result of this
experiment i'm steel barges.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1895-08-08

The fourteenth annual bulletin of the
French Cremation society states that in
Paris alone more than twenty thousand
bodies have been burned since the COM
mencement of the movement.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1895-08-08

"a steamer running on rails is a GU,
rious sight to be seen near Copenhagen.
Two lakes are separated by a narrow
strip of land on which rails are laid
running into the water on either side.
The steamer, which is "A feet long and
carries 70 passengers, is guided to
the rails by piles like ferry slip,
1t has wheels on either side which fit
the rails, and is driven full speed up
one side Of the incline and down the
other into the water on the other side.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1895-08-08

The Washington Post says that only
two government seals are correct from
the heraldic point of view, namely, the
great seal of the United States and the
new seal Of the Department of Agricul-
ture. All the executive departments
have seals of their own, designed with
more or less regard for the laws usually
controlling such devices: but not one of
them satisfies the requirements of her
aldry. For example some of the eagles
have their heads turned to the right,
and the mounted courier on the seal of
the Postoffice department is galloping 10
the right. This is horribly wrong. in
asmuch as the regulations of the hera1ds
demand that all animals of whatever
description shall face to the left. Then
again, the parallel lines on some of the
shields represented are traced in incor-
rect directions. In heraldry horizontal
lines indicate blue, which is the proper
color for the background of shield,
whereas, if they go other ways they
mean other colors.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1895-08-08
Notice.

wecapnot accept anonymous or return re-
Jected communications. In all cases the name
of the writer will be required. not for publica-
ton. but as guarante good faith.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1895-08-08

American merchant ships are largely
manned by foreign seamen,as may be
seen by the following summary of the
returns made by the United States
shipping commissioners for the fiscal
year ended June 80, which shows 79,415
shipments Of seamen on American YES
sells at the seaports of the United
States, an increase of 5000 over the
previous year. The increase at New
York was 7,100. BY nativity, 24,182
were Scandinavians, 21,SS1 Americans,
11,552 British, 11,057 Germans, 81
French, 1870 Italians. 1,047 Russian
Firms, and 7,455 other nationalities
Compared with the previous year
Americans show an increase of ESQ;
Scandinavians an increase of 1000.
Other na'tionalities also show an in
crease. New York ships two Scandi-
navians for every American; Boston
~ for every American; Baltimore over
two Americans for every Scandinavian.
Those figures cover repeated shipments
of the same seamen in some cases.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1895-08-08

In 1892 the legislature of New York
passed a bill ordering the repayment,
or permitting cities and towns to repay,
moneys paid by drafted men for ex-
emption from service or to furnish a
substitute. The law called forth strong
protest from veterans all over the
State, but several towns and cities have
acted under 1t and paid back draft
money to applicants. Now comes Judge
Brown Of Newburg and decides this law
to be unconstitutional, because the leg
islature has no right to order the re-
payment to individuals of money
they had paid for their own private
benefit.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1895-08-08

Experiments in welding metallic bodies
by simple pressure at heats below their
fusing points, made by the Royal So
ciety of Belgium, show that the most
perfect joints are obtained with gold,
Head, and tin, and the worst with bis
muth and antimony. Cylinders Of ex-
treme1y pure metal with smooth sur
faces were brought together by a hand
screw and kept at a constant tempera-
ture between 200 degrees and 400 de-
grees for from three to twelve hours.
When separated the break did not
coincide with the jointed surfaces.
Platinum was softened and welded at
temperature 1900 degrees below its
point Of fusion.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1895-08-08

An interesting development of the
tendency to Capitalization which con-