The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1895-07-26
THE LAY OF THE DUMB WAITER.
From Morning Till Evening 1t Interests
New York Flat Dwellers.

From Morning Till Evening It Interests
New York Flat Dwellers.
The dumb waiter, like the feathered
portion of that part OF creation which
we are also pleased to designate dumb,
begins it's lay before the dew is off the
heather, so to speak. The mllkman or
the baker causes it to emit its first faint
blast. There are heard a rafting and
creaking of ropes, rackety slamming
and banging along the sides Of the
shaft, as the dumb waiter is aroused
from it's perch near the sixteenth fiat,
and then the uproarious rush OF the
dumb creature descending toward the
cellar Next follows the sharp, insistent
tinkle of the electric bell, and the dumb
waiter has fairly started on its vocifer-
Gus daily career.
This overture is repeated, with varia-
lions, until all the jewellers in all the
flats, from the oneth even unto the six
teenth, are served with their daily
modicum Of bread and milk from their
daily contingent of bakers and milkmen.
Next comes the electric bell again,
followed by the strenuous voice OF
James, the elevator boy.
"Coalp
The creaking and banging and rat
Ting performance is now varied. Pans
and scuttles and boxes are severally
hauled, cast, thrown and pitched upon
the shelves of the waiter, and the groan-
ing, Gathering dumb thing travels loud
" up and down until all the flats are
served with their morning supply.
At this point a different element en-
ters into the dumb walters noisy work.
There is Irritation, with many tender
passages-dumb waiter shaft passages
in progress between the elevator boy in
the cellar and the cook in the twelfth
story. A playful morning struggle be-
| tween the twelfth floor coal scuttle and
the ropes Of the dumb waiter is one of
its manifestations A gentle message
floats down the shaft
Fill it good and full now, James.
It's for lnel'
"And why should I fill it fuller for
you than for Maggie?"
At this Maggie, whose door on the
eighth floor is always open, gives shrill
laugh at the discounted rival on the
twelfth.
Her triumph is short lived
"Ah, Jimmy, now!'
"You know I'm foolin, Molliel Let
20 the rope, there's darlin. The second
is in duce of hurryP'
Perhaps Maggie is not the only one
whose oomposure is disturbed at the by
play.
One after another, the butcher, the
grocer and the iceman arrive, and each
butcher and grocer and iceman is null
tipied l6 times to suit the various tastes
of the fiat jewellers
Then there are the G. o. D. dry goods
packages, whose bills cause animated
discussions over the matter of change
There is the blinking Of milk bottles
sent down to the dairyman, and there
are the swelling differences Of opinion
between the dairyman and the cook, the
cook being confident that the dairyman
is trying to cheat her and the dairyman
willing to take oath that the cook has
broken or secreted at least two bottles
since he was last there. All these do
nestle problems are waited up and down
the dumb waiter shaft and are distinct
ly audible ON each and every floor
The evening strains of the dumb wait
er are but Investigations of the same
theme. There are hurried deliveries of
forgotten or suddenly needed butcher S
or grocer's supplies. The portion of even
ing cream for the ninth floor invalid
and milk for the seventh floor baby are
slammed and thumped up to them. Nj
merous orders for breakfast are shouted
down to departing trades people, and
each floor becomes cognizant of what
each other floor expects to eat at its ma
tutinal meal
The last sweet words of Mollie and
Jimmy are bawled up and down, and
each floor breathes easier to hear that
Jimmy has to leave hastily that he may
be in readiness to meet Mollie ION the
corner at half past sharp"
And then for some inscrutable reason,
the dumb waiter is Justify hoisted up to
the sixteenth floor, from which advan-
tageous position it may thunder out its
dumb" protest in the morning New
York World