The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-09-24
SOME BAPTIST JOKES.
The Old Yarn of the Presbyterian aud
Baptist Kittens--The Lank, Lean
Texan

/ ne OlQ 3&Tu Oh LuS ESSDyGSE4Su AUG
Baptist Kittens--The Lank, Lean
Texan
Ministers, as a rule, are good story
t~ellers. They realize that truth can
best be emphasized by an apt illustra-
ton, and for that reason most of them
have a fund of anecdotes to draw on.
When the Official proceedings of the
Baptist Young Peoples Union Con-
vention are transcribed from Stenogra-
pher Bengough's hieroglyphics they
will, of course, make interesting read
ing to all those who participated in the
memorable gathering. Another set of
minutes, however, might be prepared
to contain the wit and humor that
flowed so freely from the speakers
stage during the sessions and meetings
at the other places. Nearly all of the
prominent divines on the programme
dropped into story telling while the
delegates, and especially those from
the South and the West, related some
good yarns much to the amusement of
the thousands under the tent.
President John Fl. Chapman, of the
Baptist Young Peoples Union, fire.
quently illustrated his remarks with a
yarn. Here is one which he told at
the southern States meetinga at Brantly
church:
PRESBYTERIAN KITTENS
ut was a little Chicago boy who
found a batch OF very young kittens
in the yard of his house one morning,
and, needing pocket money, he started
out to sell them. Walking down the
street he came to the home of q minis
ter. Here he rung the bell and the
pastor came e. the door.
WANT to buy any kittens3" queried
the boy.
mo-" said the preacher, and then as
a second thought he remarked ''What
kind of kittens are they 2"
Presbyterian Kittens" was the
prompt reply.
We'll, how in the world do you ex-
pect to sell Presby terrain kittens to a
Baptist ministers" said the preacher.
The boy shook his head sadly and
walked away. On the following day
he appeared at the house again, and
the minister came to the door as be-
fore.
Want to buy these kittens nowG"
said the boy.
mol no." vas the impatient reply.
But" pleaded the boy, they are
Baptist kittens"
You little rascal" said the preach
er, you were here yesterday and said
they were Presbyterian kittens"
OH said the boy, they have
opened their eyes now"
ONE FROM COLORADO.
When the delegations were striving
to get the meeting place of the next
convention named for a city in their
State one of the Colorado delegates
made a brief address on the beneficial
results of a jaunt to the western health
resort.
"Why," said ne, "we've got the pure
est and best air in the world out there.
Not long ago an invalid came to Col
orado Springs with only one lung.
When ne left he had three"
The convention broke into a hearty
laugh. When they were again quiet
the delegate smiled and remarked:
He married two of them"
TOO MANY BUTTONHoLEs.
An Alabama minister told an in
stance of his pastoral work which
occurred one evening when he had
been invited to dine with a prominent
lady of his congregation. The hostess
was very particular about table Ell
quetta, but, unfortunately, had a new
servant. Before the meal, however,
she took the embryo domestic aside to
give her instructions as to waiting on
the table.
when you bring a dish," she said,
look at the minister's coat, and be
sure to hand it to him on the side you
notice the buttonhole in the lapel"
Dinner was being served when the
green servant entered, carrying a dish
in each hand. She looked at the min,
is5er's coat closely. It was a double
breasted one. To her dismay she saw
a burtonhole on each side Looking
first at the dishes and then at her mis-
tress, she exclaimed:
"Lordy missus. he's got buttonholes
on bofe sides of his coat"
Then, before any one could remark,
| she showed q dish over each of the nar-