The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-11-14
THE LIMEKILN CLUB.
BrothsrGardner Says Few Words
to Calamity Bates.
AND, RECALLING A LITTLE INCIDENT


down the aisles and said:
eff Calamity Bates am in dis hall dis
eavnin, he will please step dis way"
Calamity was there, and he promptly
stepped out and advanced to the presi-
dents desk.
''Brudder Bates, - continued the pres
ident as he looked down on him, "yo'
went ober to Brudder Shins cabin
t'other night to pass soshul hour?"
eyes, sab" was the reply.
carter sum leetle talk bout free sill
Ter, sound money an de treasury re-
Earbe yo' swung de conversashun round
10 de ga den of Eden. While Mrs Shin
sot dar wild her mouf open, an Samuel
was a-soakin his feet to cure de cold in
his head, yo' went on to tell what you
knowed bout dat ga'den. Yo' put de
land at 100 acres. Yo' got in q ribber,
two springs, a lake an a grotto Yo'
had peaches an pears an plums an grapes
an apples by de CARLOAD. Yo' had birds
singin an possums runnin bout Yo'
had chickens ready to be boiled, fried
an baked. 70 had Adam whistlin an
Eve singin, an all was happiness an
joy. -
Eyes, sah," replied Brother Bates as
he wondered what was coming.
"Brudder Shin hahn much Of hand
to git excited ober ga dens, as yo' kin
tell by his own, but yo' went on so dat
he finally got reused up an a1ed 20
whar dis place was. Kin yo' member
whar yo' located it?'
81 kin, sab. Dat ga den was in Cuba,
an I'ze bin right past place TO- times
ESIliI11 - a dom rr-E NO 1-OT1I1d lar
did yo'?"
"Dey was dead, sab. "
FWaal, when Brudder Shin reckoned
dat ga den was in Italy, what did 20
dun do? Called him names an finally
hit him on de jaw Brudder Bates, I
want to remark few expreshuns to yo',
an want 'em to surge right ober yo'r
hbin soul like waves rollin down Lake
Erie! In de first place, yo' was jest as
wrong as Brudder Shin bout de loca-
shun Of de ga den. In de next place, it
am none of yo'r bizness whar it was,
how big it was or what it looked like
Mebbe OAR was q ga'den an mebbo not.
Doan' consarn yo' neither way. If some
white man who hain't got muffin TO do
an lots O. money to do it on wants to &C
spoonin round to find whar de ga den
of Eden was, dat S his own bizness Yo'
is simply common black man. Yo'
arm bout So a week, an yo' am de fad
der of fo' pairs of twins. It Gums
mighty hard fur 20 to pay rent an git
three meals q day. Yo'r debts fgger up
mo- dan yo' kin save in 6, 900 y airs. De
idea Of yo'r foolin away time an hittin
folks on de jaw bout de ga den Of Eden
am bout de biggest fool thing cher
heard Of %
"Doan' I want to know all bout it,
sah:" protested Brother Bates.
'Wot fur?''
Fur to git knowledge"
"Wot yo' gwine to 10 wild knowl
| edge? How am knowledge bout sunthin
way back 5000 y ars ago gwine to pay
! yo'r house rent an keep shoes on yo'r
wife's feet? If yo' knowed whether
Adam could jump six feet or ten, would
dat buy Goldfish fur dem TO- par O.
twins? If yo' knowed whether Eve had
red hair or black. would it help yo' to
pay me back dem So yo' borrowed ober
two y 'ars ago?"
'N-no, sah,' stammered Brother
Bates, beginning to weaken.
"Of co'se it wouldn't. 1t would jest
be a leetle mo wind power fur argy
ment 1t hain't yo'r bizness nor my
bizness nor any odder black mans biz
ness to keer a continental cooked hat
whether de ga den of Eden was on a
sidehill or down in a valley; whether
it took 1000 Vars to build de pyramids
of Egypt, or only so; whether dis yere
airth was all kivered wild water six
times, or only twice; whether de planets
am inhabited, or all grown up to scrub
whether dis globe was made in six days,
or 10, 900 vars None of Us want to go
back furder dan to remember what debts
we owe, an why we dun hain't paid up.
Our bizness am to look ahead. If we
knowed man who's gwine to let out
de job of whitewashin 200 feet of bod
fence, it consarns US a heap mo- den
Noah's ark cher need to. Brudder
Bates ~
Eyes, sab. -
"Yo' go an sot down an sot down
hard I shall fine yo' SO, $50 fur dis
cussin religus matters contrary to de
bylaws, an want dis to be caution tC
all other members as we'll Bout half
of our Guild folks religun consists il
openin our moufs an gulpin down de
past, an good sheer CT de odder hall
am devoted to argufyin bout what We
doan' know, can't know an doan' want
TO know bout de present an fucher.
What we want in gineral an in pertick
Ter am less religun an mo- gittin NJ
airly in de mawnin-less ga'den @
Eden an mo- taters in de house; lesl
Adam an Eve an mo- bacon an Goldfish
We will now open one of de alley win
ders to let dat smell of burnin wood gi
out Of de hall, an den purceed to tackle
de programme Of reg lar bizness. :"
Would an appeal be in order at di
juncture, sah:'' asked the Rev. Pen
stock as he arose.
, "What sort of an appeal?" queries
the president in reply.
IAN appeal from yo'r decishun, sab