Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-10-03

SneS duVdnceu IN lueaSs
But never in years.
Washington Star.
Jones-How's Wheeler getting alons
since he bought a bicycle? Brown.
On crutches, believe.-London Fun.
Blobbs-Did you spend a pleasant
vacation? Slobbs-No; my wife at
tends to all the spending.-Philade
phia Record.
II am moving to-day because could
not pay the rentv' THAT'S first rate, I
am moving for the same reason; let's
change Quartersw-Fliegende Blaetter.
No, Maude, dear, the tailor would
scarcely make good matrimonial
agent, although he does press other
peoples suits for them.-Philadelphia
Record.
Emma, / just saw the lieutenant
kissing you. Don't let me see that
again." Certainly, mamma. We shall
be more cautious hereafter. "-Lustige
Batter.
Miss Planephace exhibiting her pho
aph)-Everybody says it does not
do me justice. Miss Pert-Evidently
the artist Is a man Of tact.-Boston
Transcript.
Some joys of life make me most sad,
When think of how / miss 'em.
The girls l want to kiss are those
Who don't want me to kiss 'em.
Life.
hof do snI- %
ment ringw You dear, sweet old
boy, it's the handsomest ever had-1
moan like it ever so much."-Chicago
Times Herald.
''They must be having electrical
storms at hOme," said Mrs. Harley,
reading letter from her sister. "Jane
says they are having shocking wealth
er."-Harper's Bazaar.
The Bashful One-They say that
there are bacilli on woman's lips. /
wonder what they are like? She (en-
couragingly)-Why don't you try and
find outNSyracuse Post.
She sat before me at the play,
She was a beauty quite;
The house was full, the air was cool,
The play was out of sight.
Boston Courier.
Mrs. Brown-You really must join
our sewing circle. Mrs. Jones-My
dear, haven't the time to spare. !
have to do SO much mending for the
children.-New York Herald.
Customer-A loaf of bread, please.
NJ
Customer (precisely)-I will take one Of
the loaves that you sell for five cents
Somerville Journal.
Once more unto the play goes she,
Serenely conscious that
The man behind her cannot see
A thing except her hat.
Washington Star.
Boatman-No, mister, can't let you
have boat now; there's heavy swell
just coming along. Irate 'Arry-Swell
be hanged Amt my money as good
as his?-Boston Globe.
Yeast-I never saw such a man as
Jumply. He seems to get new trunk
every month. Crimsonbeak-Yes; he
changes his boarding place every thirty
days.-Yonkers Statesman.
They set out on bicycle built for two.
Alas, ere the year was done,
We found them-'tis very sat, but true
On a salary built for one.
Washington Star.
The Complaining Boarder-This meat
is about the toughest that ever came
across. The Philosophic Boarder-Yes;
but then there is very little Of it, you
know.-Boston Transcript.
"You should never take anything that
doesn't agree with you," the physician
told him. IF I'd always followed that
rule, Maria," he remarked to his wife,
"where would you be?"-Boston Home
Journal.
A maiden writes: "Can you tell me
how to change the color of my hair,
which all the young men tell me is red"
Certainly we can. Get rich; they will
then call it golden or auburn.-Erie
Messenger.
Thirty days hath September"
The clam sang on the bar.
The oyster sighed: IF remember,
1t also hath an r."
Life.
And, speaking Of the cup, the col
ored gentleman was not far wrong
when he said: "Good name for dat
boat OBJ ours, Missey. She done keep all
de udded boats off, so she's de fenderv
New York Recorder.
Edwards-"Brown's system reduces
horse racing to an exact science"
Richards ~"Does it?' Edwards-"Yes.
In order to tell how much money q
man will lose it is only necessary to
know how much he has.-Brooklyn
Life.
wonder why Jones moved away
from here. He was doing good busi-
ness, wasn't he?" "Oh, yes-there were
other troubles. You know how fond he
was of telling storiesT "Yes, I guess
do" "Well, he's been forced to take
these stories to new country."-Chi.
cago Record.
Old Mercator Ito little Billy Ducks,
4,,.x lee sohool uho opplfao For a3t,xo.