The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1895-03-28

Fer that's the time for readin. books.
Or maxim. hddles play.
10 home. or to the grocery store, f#
I'm happy when II rains; s
Fer they need 1t on the mountains,
Ants welcome on the plainsi
IA :l. Atlanta Constitution
IN THE NEXT CENTURY.
The Oracle Tells q Story Of Things
That Are to Come.
The Oracle, who had been sitting
silents not needing the conversation
that went on, suddenly broke out.
It Is the year 1945. The scene is an
elegant mansion on Pacific Heights. "a
lady is in the wide open hall, walking
mp and down impatiently. She Is In
the dress Of the period. A tail coat Of
blue silk, such as negro minstrels wear
now, . low-cut vest Of delicate shade,
with diamond buttons; a frilled lace
shirt front, q white stand-up collar
edged with gold braid, white tie with
flower sprigs all over It; elegant silk
knee breaches, silk stockings and
delicately-tinted patent leather shoes.
She wears q rose-colored silk crush
hat, and she puts an eyeglass to her
eye as she looks up the broad stairs.
"John!' ri ~ i;
Eyes, dear" $500. :. - Sssa#s
Aren't you ready YETI" s45 5.ss
+ ''Ill be down in minute.
..Sainted Cecilia! How long it takes
you men to dress. I've been waiting.
half an hour already" :.
..Only ten minutes.
A tall, fne-looking girl IN livery
comes in. '.s .;s' %
IF you please, ma'am, the, motors ct,
the door. .
.Johnl John! are you not ready YETI"
please come and button the back Of
my coat" ~, .2..z ~ q.s <.: ~. !.
''Holy Saint Anne! Amt you any
further along than that?"
'"The buttoning machine broke down,
and left me only half buttoned."
She turns to the girl in livery.
''Go up and button the idiot. Do
hurry up, John, we'll miss the first act. :;
whats the play, dear?" .5ss
Don't you read the papers? Don't
you know it's the new version OF
.Othello?''' --zl: ,ss 3D.. {. I, s5ss
I'll didn't know. You know never
get time to read the papers What with
going visiting and men calling, i never
get time to do any thing. Z
ma 'sOh, for heavens sakel Doscome
along. want to hear the great scene
where Desdemona sauces her father"
!. Before the duke?" :sS4Iss
Before the duchess This is the new
version, 1 tell you. . s.:s..ys
Martial"
what is it, now?'
'tDid / leave my handkerchief down
there?'' @
(Which handkerchief
1.-THE one with the Strawberries en-
broidered on it. I" h. z..sa 4 fs s@...
upon my word! You men don't
know where you put anything.
The husband comes downstairs. He
is dressed in a silk waist, with rufaes
at the wrists and around the neck, di-
vided skirts Of similar shade and slip
pers with buckles 3 !s5.<
Great Cleopatra! John. you are not
going without your hat?''
'tOf course I am. It's very swell,
you know. .s. sc. ..s 81 5..4
! No, John. that bald head would dis
grace me. !" ss. FL s@z55
II can't help that. It isn't good form
to wear your hat at such fashionable
first night.
i '.John, you look positively. indecent
without your hat. Go and put it on. :"
81 know Jones is not going to wear
his. His wife told him she didn't want
him to-" .g2a
"Jones, my dear, has q head Of hair.
Go and put on your hat. .
''Why didn't you tell me before?
would have worn my other dress. I
went and had my head manicured this
afternoon just for this affair."
x ohm, you go and put on your hat.
won't take you to the theater If you
don't. That's all there is about It,"
II think it's real mean.
y Let me look at you. Why, you don't
mean to say you did not get your
whiskers curled?"
"My dear, I've had them in papers all
night and all morning. They won't curl
worth cent. .i: s--s. I"
81 can'tstand thismuch longer, John.
I'll have to dispense with your services
as husband. 81 s55
ST tell you, Maria, II you don't have
some more consideration for me I'll go
home to my father . 81 ~.
S'.Go and put on your hat.
The husband goes meekly upstairs
and comes down with hat with wav-
ing p1umes.
. s'Is that all right?''
oh, yes, you'll have to- do. !"
They enter the family coach, 9 coupe
run by electricity in q storage battery.
A handsome woman in livery is seated
behind; she turns q crank and away
they go at fifty miles an hour.
q. my dear" says the husband, you'll
really have to get me anewvalet. This
fellow doesn't know how to take care
Of my dresses.
You're always growing, John.