davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-04-25

Mister" said Meandering Mike, as
he stood at the step of the doctors of
fee. kin you hypnotize?'
"Can | Nvhat?" exclaimed the aston
ished practitioner.
Hypnotic. | want somebody dat
kin flimfiam my intelleck."
NO. / never made study of mes
merle science.
DO yer know anybody dat kim"
Yves. What do you want with
such things?'
We'll. we see. doc, it's diss here way:
I'm great reader. am. l reads every
scrap o paper / gifts me hands on. an
rs cole day when l amt up to de
times"
Il suppose you've discovered that
hypnotism is being used as defense
for cri ne?''
Course has. But | amt got no
sech idees. Me intentions is thorough
ly honor'ble / jes' been offered job
At snow shovelin' down de street. an
I'm blest eff amt 50 hard up | feels
mos like workin' ter GIT de money"
But what has that to do with hyp-
notism?"
"Well. fought dat ef you could put
dizzy. hanlSy-panl<y spell on me, see?
SOS ] could shovel dat snow wit'out
KNOWN a ting about it 'twould DC a
ack of kindness to TELLER man. Whut
wants Is some one dat kin make me
imagine dat shoveiiu' snow is rushin'
de GROWER, SOS kin earn de quarter
before | knows what's happenin'. -
Washington Star.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-04-25
INFERIOR YIEW OE al CHuRCH On WHEH S

day of blood atonement at the hands of
man has gone forever. There remains
but little of tAe dueling spirit, even in
those states where the southo sun
presumably gives to men hotter blood
ana quicker tempers.
During recent years there have been
no drunken scenes in the capitol, either
IN the senate or house of representa-
tives, with one exception. A celebrated
debate was closed during the early
days of the Fifty-thtrd congress by a
senator who has lived over from the
past generation; and his voice was very
shalxy, and his ideae were mixed, be-
cause he had palpabsy dallied too long
with the demon thht destroys. Our
fathers and grandfathers lived in an
age when drunkenness was as normal
as sobriety and temperance are to-day.
In those times, maadlin scenes were
common at the capitol, and they were
not considered disgraceful; but were
regarded as exceedingly funny. But
the cause of temperance has grown and
the influence of the ladies of the land
has been so potent that the future leg
islation of our country will be the
product of sober brains.
just before the war, and during that
great militant epoch, there were gam
bling houses all along Pennsylvania
avenue from the capitol to the white
house. To-day there is not a single
game running in Washington which
statesmen patronize, of course there
are some low dives here, as in all cities,
but none which statesmen dare to
enter. Before and during the war it
was not considered wicked or improper
for senators and. representatives,
strolling along Pen.nsylvania avenue,
TO enter public gambling houses and
engage in games OF chance. Nobody
paid any attention Ia such conduct on
the part of public NJ N. The newsPa-
pers of to-day would quickly chronicle
the event If any md Der of the senate
or of the house shqk ID frequent such
places. But in thos1 days the newspa-
pers made no menttcn of the lives of
the great men whdwere attending to
congressional dutie3 but two or three
hours each day, and passing from
twelve TO fifteen hoArs in saloons and
gambling houses.
1t is a comfortable .'efiection that the
world is growing better; at least our
portion of it. The Christian men and
women throughout the country will be
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-04-25

The old Athenian who insists that it
was Capt SCOTS and not Col. Crock
etts coon that came down on a critical
occasion is entirely correct. Capt.
Martin Scott was great rifle shot in
his day and generation. and it is re-
lated that he invited party of friends
out hunting once upon "A time. They
were soon scattered Through v',e woods,
and one of the party came upon rae
eoor that was sitting on one of the
highest branches 81 verE tall tree.
He fired At him and missed ailn. One
by one the other members of the party
took aim and fred. but they failed to
dislodge the animal. At length Capt.
Scott arrived on the scene. and he was
in the act of pulling the trigger when
the coon locked down and said:
Nv 40 are you?"
I'm Scott"
what Scott?"
capt. Scott2''
Are you capt. Martin Scntt21
The same.
Well" said the coon. volunteering
himself, you need not shoot. | will
come down. Boston Herald.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-04-25
In THE GOOD OLD DAYS.
Congre ssmen Then We're Nat
What They Are Now.
The Public Conscience of To-Day Does
Not Countenance Excuses which
Our Forefathers Considered
Mere Eccsntricities.
Especial washington Letter ]

The Fifty-first congress was the tar
get for abuse and vilifcation of all ex-
trernist editorial writer's ia the demo-
cratic party; and the Fifty-third con-
gress, which has recently adjourned,
has been the target for the criticism and
denunciation of all extremist repub-
lean editorial writer's. While great
men are exerting leadership in the eyo-
luton of great events, it is practically
impossible for men to write the truths
of history; and it is only after individu-
ais and congresses are dead that the
truths can be ascertained and pub
lished concerning them. During the
past two years. and particularly during
the last ten months, the ma iority party
of the Fifty-thrd congress has been
the subject of great deal of raillery,
and individual leaders have been criti-
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-04-25
wendell phillips Cutting Ketort.

DIR. Furness, of Philadelphia, tells a
characteristic story about Wendell
Phillips. Several clergymen," he says,
boarded street car in Boston one
day, and one of them, hearing it init
mated that Wendell Phillips was in the
ear, got up and asked The conductor to
point him out. This conductor did so,
and the minister, going up to the ora
tor, said: You arp Mr.. Phillips, am
told Yes, sir Il should like to speak
10 you about something, and / trust,
sir, you will not DO offended There
is no fear of it, was the sturdy answer,
and then the minister began to ask Mr..
Phillips earnestly why he persisted in
stirring mp such an 2nfriendly agitation
in one part of the cSuntry about an evil
that existed in an'bther part. Why
said the clergyman, do you not go
south and kick uplhis fuss and leave
the north in peace?' Mr.. Phillips was
not the least RULED, and answered,
slnilingly: you, 81 l presume, are a
minister of the t5spel?' Il am, sir,
said the clergyman And your calling
is to save souls from help Exactly,
sir We'll, then. why don't you go
there?' Lilies Calendar.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-04-25
FIsHIN' TIME.

When re can have some days &: purity wealth
We dnd so much about the house at borcs:
An then Ne wanter pull ourselves together.
An 70 a-marcAin straiEhrsay out er doors
The sunshine an the chickens social eackle.
The birdsonzs aud the breezes. make you
long ter seek
A r1p % bait an last years 1shin' tlckle.
An pull for some cool shaded blue hole 10
the creek.
Teller gifts glimpse OF EGen. fshin'-
A-settin' dreamy-Nke upon half-shaded
rocks.
The drowsy waters roun' the flags a-swishin'.
Ar list across the stream, in pastures, bleat-
in fOczs,
An seems ter me. ef I WIS ole Dan Satan.
or men a-puilin trout la always steer quite
clear.
Fer then they think that Heavens worth he
Waitin
Efufe beside 4stH waters is as sweet IS
here
WILL T HALF
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-04-25
deacon's FOUND little face was Shining

deacon's round little face was shining
with merriment.
SAY, Jim," he began. stroking his
beard to hide the eonvulsive twitchings
of his lips, you ON yer way home?
Wall. you've no idee how poplar the
turnpike roads been to-day. Kind of
promenade for the hull town.
That's so; it's been n real red-letter
day . ter your domicile." drawled Mr..
Barnes, coming out of the store - Join
in the conversation.
The bystanders. who had gathered
about Jim's buggy, broke Into loud
laughter.
LISA real comfort to see a man
willin' to air his convictions like jim
does, observed one man, admiringly.
Jim gathered up AS reins with an
angry frown.
You're a passed. of fools, and don't
know what you're drivin' at, he retort-
ed. touching the mare with his whip.
''You mean you don't know what
you're drivin' to-" shouted Mr.. Barnes
after the retreating buggy.
Jim drove hurriedly until the village
was left behind and the jeers of his
tormentors died away in the distance;
then he allowed the brown mare to
drop into an easy trot.
In be jiggered if I know what
those fools meant" he ruminated.
Its some joke on me, that's sartin,
but why the whole town should be IN
il / can't for the life of me see. II it's
any-Go-ri!"
The mare had stopped at the hitch:
| ing-post in front of his house, but her
master sat motionless in the buggy.
Once he closed his eyes, as if to dispel
the illusion, only to oper them and
find that the hideous vision had not
/ disappeared.
In gigantic red capitals, sprawling
all over front of the house, were
painted the words:
''LAsHMAN's YEAST Is THE BEST"
They were crazy-looling letters,
sloping in every direction, and they
gave the respectable old house tipsy
appearance. There was scarcely a
spot on its dingy clapboards where
their grotesque length did not extend.
A deep color slowly appeared in JIM
face, and he sprang To the ground.
suddenly a chord was struck ON the
piano within, and from the parlor
, foated out Pruc's silvcry voice:
The prettiest girl in the st tie of Maine
Was Squire's Jones' irter."
Jim thrust both hands into his pock-
cts and drew long breath.
'Bedteh!" he acknowledged, aloud
Lfpincotts Magazine.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-04-25
COMPLETELY PARALYZED
Physicians Are Astounded by a
Peculiar Case.
Young Man Stricken with Landry's
Paralysis and Yet Receivers.
lr.om the rImes. PhilaaelphIa. pa. ]

lEtOm the Times, Phllaueipnla, Ia
Stricken with Landry's Paralysis. and yet
cured. That means but little to the average
lavman but it means a miracle to physi-
clan. Such is the experience of o. e. DALI
more now a resident of Madison, n. j.,
and a rare experience it is.
Yes, it is true that / had Landry Par
alysis,p said Mr.. baltimore to a reporter,
cor else the most celebrated physicians of
London were mistaken.
SIT was on the 18th of March, this year"
he continued, sswhen I was in New York
city. that first felt tAie symptoms of my
trouble. I experienced difficulty in going
up stairs, my legs failing to support me.
consulted physician who informed me that
| had every symptom of Iocomotor Ataxia,
but as the case developed he pronounced it
a case of Landry's Paralysis and know
ing the nature of the disease advised me
to start for my home and friends. gave
up nv work and on April 1st started for
London, Ont well-known physician
was consulted but grew rapidly worse and
on Saturday, April Z, several eminent ply
sicians held a consultation on my case and
informed me that was at deaths door,
having but three to six days to live, still i
fingered on, by this time completely para
lyzed, my hands and feet being dead, /
could hardly whisper my wants and could
only swallow uQuluS. On, bue misery Oh
those moments are beyond all description
and death would really have been wei
come visitor.
''Now, comes the part that has astounded
the physicians. Rev Mr.. Gondy, clergy
man who visited me in my last hours, as he
supposed, told me of the marvellous cures
of paralysis that had been performed by
DR.. Williams Pink Pills for Pale People. !
started to take the pills about Apr1l 70 and
a week after that, felt an improvement in
my condition. There was warm. tiDgling
sensation in the limbs that had been entiIe
ly dead and | soon began to move my feet
and hands, the impro vement continued un-
til May IS when | was taken out Of bed for a
drive aud drove the horse myself. BY the
beginning of July was able TO walk up
stairs alone and paid visit to Niagara.
SLOWLY but surely j gained my oldhealth
and strength leaving Ontario for New York
on October Il aud be ginning my workagain
on October 26, 1924. Cured of Landry
Paralysis in eight months" Toconfirm his
story beyond all q oubt, Mr. baltimore made
the following affidavit.
Sworu and subscribed before me Deem
Der g. lS94. AMOS c. RATHBUN,
[sEALl Notary Public.
DR.. Williams Pink Pills contain all the
elements necessary to give new life and
richness to the blood and restore shattered
nerves. They are for sale by all druggists,
or may be had by mail from Dr. Williams
Medicine Company, Schenectady, n. ", for
30 cents per box, or six boxes for $3.50.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-04-25
a WONDERFUL FIGHTER.
a Highly Intelligent Parrot Kills 81,
Gamecocks.

Highly Intelligent Parrot Kills SIX
Gamecocks.
IT was about eight o'clock when an
English sailor walked into a saloon on
Waite street with parrot on his
shoulder. After imbibing some liquid
refreshments, he and the parrot began
to a~gue over the question of which
was the more sober of the two. The
crowd in the saloon was very much
impressed. and when the sailor as
serted that the parrot was as good at
fighting as talking. one of the persons
present offered to pit a gamecock
against him.
1t was agreed, and q party of dozen
journeyed TO the establishment of the
gamecock man at Ridgewood, where
a pit was prepared and a three pound
bantam brought out. The two were
dropped into the pit.
You're an easy mark. said the par
rot, gazing at the cock. You're a
good thing"
This stirred the cock, and the fight
began Feathers flew and there was
a great old scramble for a little while.
Then the parrot caught the neck of his
antagonist in his curved bill and the
cock ceased to breathe.
THAT was easy" said the parrot in
shrill voice, ana the crowd was
speeches. with astonishment.
The sailor was willing to put his par
rot against another bird, and in order
to make it interesting the owners
wagered ten dollars a side. An old
warrior was brought forth and he
started for the parrot in short order.
There was another shower of feathers,
another grasping of the windpipe and
another dead gamecock.
''Oh, that's Il cinch, said the parrot
gleefully.
The owEer OF the gamecock could not
understand it, and another ten dollars
dropped into the pit. and in a few min
utes another dead bird was added to
the pair already hanging at the side of
the pit The gamecock man was grow
ing wild. and with three fowls and
twenty dollars gone. he backed up his
/ desperate hope by bringing forth an
other bantam and doubling the ten dol
lar wager to twenty dollars.
Once more. twice more, and third
time again the parrot caught the fowls
between the lungs and the head and
stopped the flow of atmosphere through
the throat. That made six birds killed
and the parrot was by this time pretty
well worn. The owner of the bantams
was paralyzed. however.
Always room Tor one more. said the
parrot, cheerfully, as he strutted ny
and down the pit and gazed proudly
I the row of the late six.
''You won't go me one more con-
| tinued the parrot.
NO" answered the cock fighter from
the depths of his melancholia.
We'll, I'm sorry" said the parrot,
but You can have plenty of properly
/ killed chickens for dinner Sunday, any
v IN. y. Journal
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-04-25
HIS TIE CARES OF ALL NATIONS
But He Hadn't Time to Attend to Details

OF Common Life.
'Ain't there no way to put stop TO
this awful war in China?" said the man
with an anxious look on his face TO the
man with blossom on his nose.
Don't know OF none" said the man
with blossom. Ill did I'd stop it. >"
well, it worries me-" said the anx-
ious man. "Terrii lie slaughter, sold
iers freezing to death, troops starving,
villages burned, cities destroyed"
Cant you pay this little bill?"
asked the grocer's clerk, coming up
and handing him a six-months-old $50
bill for groceries.
Don't bother me with such tribes, :"
said he, waving him of. Cant this
war be stopped?" said he. turning once
more to the man with blossom on his
nose.
why don't you try and see?" asked
the man with blossom.
1T must be terminated some way"
he continued. sit worries me. Blood
is flowing, gore is being split, men are
tearing each other like tigers. rivers
are flowing crimson to the sea, the
plains are covered with the slain,
the"
',Johnl john exclaimed his wife,
running in out of breath, Little john
ME has fallen into the we'll Come
home quick and get him out"
Go call old man Smith around the
corner
The red-nosed man started off on the
run for the rescue of Johnnie.
That red-nosed man amt got par
ticle of heart in him." unused the anx-
ious-looking man, mot a particle. He
don't care no more about the awful
slaughter of that war in Asia than an
old cud. He's perfectly heartless. -
n. Y. World.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-04-25
The New Game Law.

The new game law makes number
of radical changes which will be of in
terest to sportsmen in general. The
most important amendment is in rela-
ton to the season for deer shooting.
1t is changed SO that deer can be law
fully hunted only from November to
November 81. Another change consists
In the fact that there is no clause pro-
hibiting the use of dogs in hunting
birds at any time of the year.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-04-25
CI,okef, an Old Lady.

Two masked men entered the house
of Mrs. Ann Kehoe, who lives alone at
Madison, and cholSed the old lady, who
is nearly 90 years of age, until she gave
up her keys, after which the men ram
sacked the house but secured little of
value. Mrs. Kehoe owns considerable
property and had collected rent recent
ly, but had put the money in bank.
She was in a critical condition.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-04-25

On the principal lines of the Chicago,
Milwaukee a. st. Paul railway passenger
trains are electric lighted, steam heated and
protected by block signals. With these
modern appliances, railway travelling at
high speeds has reached degree of safety
heretofore unknown and not attainable on
roads where they are not in use. Electric
lights and steam heat make it possible TO
dispense with the oil lamp ana the car
stove. Block signals have reduced the
chances for collisions to the minimum by
maintaining an absolute interval of space
between trains.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-04-25
WISCONSIN STATE NEWS.
saioonkeeper In Trouble.

Fred Goethe, a Green Bay saloon
keeper. has been arrested the fourth
time for selling liquor TO Indians.
Each case has been continued when IL
came up in court on the application of
Il. r. Hudd, who represents him as
counsel. Mr. Hudd contends that
Goethe has right to sell liquor to In
dams off the reservation; that as re-
suit of the allotment act they have the
same rights as any other citizen and he
proposes 70 make this a test case
through the taking an appeal should
the decision go against him in the
lower court
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-04-25

In the man of average stature the
height OF the body is ten times the
length of the face; the face from
the chin TO the ha,r is as long as the
hand; the arm is fqpr times the length
of the face: the sole Of the foot is one
sixth the length of'the body; ak times
the thickness of tn. hand in the thick
est place equals the thickness of the
body
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-04-25

Is the characteristic title of a profuselv
illustrated book containing over one hun
dred pages of charmingly written descrip-
tons of summer resorts in the country
north and west of Chicago. The reading
matter is new, the illustrations are new,
and the inform alton therein VIII be new to
almost everyone
A copy Of "Short Journeys on Long
Road viii he sent free to anyone who will
enclose ten cents TO paw poStageA 20 GEO.
H. HEAFFoRD, General Passenger Agent
Chicago, Milwaukee 81 St. Paul Railway,
Chicago, III.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-04-25

Banker NJ. A. Thayer was arraigned
before Judge Wyman at Sparta on six
informations charging him with OBJ
tanning deposit money unlawfully,
He pleaded not guilty and was placed
under So, 900 bonds in each case. Judge
Wyman sent the cases to Juneau coun-
ty, where, it is expected, they will be
reached some time during the year.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-04-25

THERE = more Catarrh in tbs section Of
the cOuatry than all other diseases put to-
gether, and until the last few years was sup
posed to be incurable. For great many
years doctors pronounced it local disease,
and prescribed local remedies, and by con-
stantly failing to cure with local treatment
pronounced itincurable. Science has proven
catarrh 10 be a constitutional disease and
therefore requires constitutional treatment
Halls Catarrh Cure, manufactured by F. J
Cheney q Co. Toledo, Ohio. is the only con
stitutional cure on the market. 1t is taken
internally in doses from 10 drops 70 tea
spoonful. 1t acts directly on the blood anC
mucous surfaces of the system. They offel
one hundred dollars for any case it fails e
cure Send for circulars I'D testimonials
Address. F. j. CHENEY < Co, Toledo, ..
sE-Sold by Druggists. 9Sc.
Halls Family Pills, - cents.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-04-25
Made a profit OF $500. 600.

The sale of lease on valuable lands
in Indian territory has been made by
w. A. Dennis, of Marinette. to a St.
Louis syndicate. Three years ago Mr..
Dennis was specu'ating in the west
and camo across these lands, finding
them to be rich with asphalt He and
few friends secured lease of 5000
acres for twenty years from the Chick
asaw Indians. They expected TO mine
the asphalt and make fortune, but
the syndicate's big offer was rot to be
refused and the Marinette gentleman
clears $500, 600 out of the deal.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-04-25

glad to know that their aggregate e.s
forts have been producing notable re'
suits. We cannot see, in our several
communities, that people are growing
much better. But the men who are
sent to congress arr fairly representa-
tive of the people; nd the fact that
their moral tone wonderfully ele-
waited is strongly manifestation of the
fact that the sentimf mt of the country
Concerning morality and superior char
acter is potential arid elevating. When
statesmen drank, fought duels, gam
bled and were publicly maudlin, they
We're representative of the people; for
if the general moral tone of the country
had been otherwise the statesmen would
not have dared to defy public opinion.
Then, as now, the public men courted
popular favor Then drunkenness and
gambling were not unpopular with the
people. Our statesmen are better to-
day because our people are better.
SMITH ID. Fry.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-04-25
The Dinner Bell

Sounds but a moclzery TO the dyspeptic. He
hears il, of course, but his stomach does not
respond TO the call. He ''goes through the
notions and suffers afterwards for the
small amount OF victuals departures of. Hos
letters Stomach Bitters alters his condition
into one of ability to eat pleutifully, digest
heartily, and assimilate thoroughly. Ma
laria, rheumatism, constipation and bilious
ness are conquered by this world-famed
medicine
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-04-25

James A. Dunn, aged 4s years, COM
mitted suicide in Milwaukee by shoot
ing Dunn was boilermaker by trade,
but had been out of work since last
June His wife was committed to an in
sane asylum about three years ago and
the loss of employment and the affiic-
ton of his wife preyed upon his mind.