The herald., 1895-09-08

his deathbed, requests that the colonel
marry his daughter Mallory, the colonel's
junior by many years. The young lady
acquiesces with the understanding that
they go abroad and remain year. pass
ing as father and daughter and that their
relations shall hn snch- This tina colonel
oensents to and his real troubles begin.
Mallory, being both young and beautiful,
the numbe being three college students.
For lark she encourages their suits and
promises to marry each of them provid-
ing they OBTAIN her fathers" consent.
The interviews between the young men
and the supposed father supplies the first
network OF the many complications which
follow. The colonel surmising that his
young wife is endeavoring to have some
fun at his expense, gives her hand to
each of the young men, in Iact, promis.
ing her to the suffering student before
the latter can open his mouth to make
known the offset of his visit. Still he
does not approve of Msjory's conduct and
to make her jealous gets up violent fir
tation with Mis-. Honeybee, who is "fat.
far and forty and who is assiduously
laboring to reduce her avoirdupois by the
aid uf dunn bells and outdoor exercise.
In the meantime. Ferrette female de-
tective, has appeared upon the scene IN
search OF man and wife who are conf
dence operators and who are known to be
passing themselves off as father and
daughter. She learns of the colonePs
secret marriage and prepares to catch her
game. To add to the complications. which
arc now arising fast and f,iriously, the
colonies first wife who is supposed to
nave been lost at sea many years ago. ap
pears. She and Mallory learn that there
tney each imagine the other to be Fer
rette and both set to work to obtain ad-
vice. They eventually establish their
identity and the fun begins in earnest
to the discontinue of the colonel. Mrs.
Colonel Washington MoVeighs No. l is
iron-wiIled ruler of the Mcveigh estab-
lishment, while wife No. 2, who has met
former lover. Count De Rockford. is
equally anxious to felinquish her claim
on the unhappy colonel. but tactly con-
ceais her desires. In spirit of fun
and the attent ton she bestowsf on the
colonel is gall and worm wood' to the
unexpected visitor from the bottom of
the sea- Ferrette reappears and arrests
Colonel McVeigh, believing him to be a
noted confidence operator. The colonel
blgamy and cheerfully submits. He adj
mits that Mrs. MoVeigh No. 1 and Rev.
Savage, the minister who performed the
marriage ceremony, are accomplices and
they to are arrested. Matters are finally
Strengthened out and all ends happily, the
colonel and his first wife being reunited
and Mallory marrying the count. This,
the funniest of all up-to date comedies.
was written especially for Miss Parker,
who plays Mallory, by Mr.. Sedley Brown,
and it Is pronounced the best of his many
successful plays. The Colonels Wives
every evening next week, with no devia-
tion in the popular prices.
y = y
OIpheum.-"Say, mister, what are your
prices. inquired person at the Orhpeum
box Office several evenings since. His
tricts. The man who presided over the
box office answered his question. and the
guest said: Guess % cents is rich
enough for my blood"
There was nothing unusual in the in
cident up to this point. but what fol-
loved was more amusing to those who
witnessed the affair than the performance
inside the theater, and the tale is one
worth relating.
The stranger threw two-bit piece in
ct the window and Treasurer Schimpf
handed out the ticket, and then came the
fun.
What is the numb of my room?"
said the stranger. 1t was then patent to
all that the stranger thought he was in
the office Of hotel. although there is no
resemblance between the lobby of
theater and the business end of q
hostelry.
Everyone knows how theater tickets
are numbered on the stubs. and the
box office man, glanciDg at the figures,
Ian right" said the stranger. ''Guess
] won't Law down just now. Don't have
TO, do l? Ye see just got in from Ante
lope valley. and kinder think I'll take IN
few OF the sights." He was assured