The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-01-27
AN ENTERPRIsING UNDERTAKEN.

Santo Rosa is an Indian pueblo, cosisting
OF few dozen bamboo huts, hid away
among the mountains of Honduras. 1t has
little to interest the travellers and We were
heartily tired of it; had been waiting
nearly week for Santiago to bring in our
two most valuable pack mules, which,
thanks to the lazy Indians carelessness
had strayed away in the bush. Time
dragged heavily. We had literally devoured
our only newspaper, now three months old
local brevities,'' news items" funny
graphs advertisements, and finally in our
desperation, the editorials themselves-and
there is no telling what the result would
have been but for the opportune arrival of
Jack Humphrey. He was mounted on his old
white mule, followed by his Indian servant
Jack a typical Yankee, hailing from
Connecticut, but whose aimless wanderings
had at last landed him in Honduras where
fortune seemed to have utterly deserted
him. But his was a cheerful SOUL never
giving UP to despair. His resources were
endless, his wit inexhaustible; he could
mend a clock, write a sermon, shoe
horse, and lecture on law medicine
Poetry trickled off his pen like drops from
melting BICYCLE. He could paint house
a portrait with equal facility, and as
for scenes and signs, he could do them
blindfolded, so he said He taught boxing
one season and the next travelled as a
professor of music. He did everything in
fact, but work, and saved everything but
money: The collection of curios, which he
packed about from camp to camp, would
have made respectable start for
museum.
Such an enterprsing spirit could not rest
long without some distraction, and he began
at once to look around for amusement.
Right across the street was the shop and
residence of Jose Funeralo, the undertaken.
His establishment was not extensive, but
If abOunQeI in interesting features. The
business occupied the entire block, which
consisted of one house containing one room
about twelve by twenty feet. One corner
was devoted to the culinary department,
with its stone fireplace. another, was used
and ends required by the native housewife
a half dozen earthen vessels, heaps OF
and over ali this wreckage, a picture Of
the Pope. AS a further precaution against
evil influences, the good man had. nailed
to the wall in the remaining space, rude
cross of his own carving. Don Jose carried
on his trade; his tools were few and SIM
that was seldom used, with the usual rub
Dish that accumulaleS on the bench of
native workman. The plant was not large,
demanded Times dull and our
swarthy neighbor seemed quite content to
repose on the half finished coffin and
dreamily speculate as to who would be It's
occupant, hoping it might be one of the
smoking serenely, while Madame prepared
the. tortillas, with infinite toll, for her
lOrQ dinner.
Jack saw his opportunity and soon had
Jose convinced that all he needed was a
big, bargain sign. As the natives could
neither read nor write, it was decided to
put it up in English, with the. view of
catching the transient CUSTOM as Jack
explained, of travellers who We're constantly
coming and going from the mines. You
can judge of the astonishment with which
we read the announcement next day 1t
was on white muslin, two yards WIDE
stretched across the entire front, lettered
in bright red, as follows:
form the public that he is now prepared
to handle first-class corpses with neatness
him to guarantee satisfaction and he is
willing to enter into agreement with
prospective customers by which he will be-
come personally responsible for any upris-
ing or riotous behavior on the part of those
intrusted to his care He points, with
buried in the years that are gone, not one
of whom has ever complained or found
fault with coffin trimming. Special offer
In order to secure desirable subjects dur
ing the next thirty days. only, / will allow
discount of 50 per cent. and six months
dying in the near future Should take adj
vantage of this golden opportunity and die
now. Grand Saturday matinee! Ladies and
children half price,
The sign a tremendous success at
aetn ad much nnt hat tent9n from the Indians
who could. The shop suddenly became the
center of attraction. Jose was delighted.
collins of all sizes by the dozen, coffins for
individuals, for whole families, collins for
themselves, for their friends, for Christmas
gifts, for wedding presents, all to be de-
ivered within the time limit.
All went well until the Padre from Santa
Barbara, arrived one day to receive confess
sions and contributions. He read the fam
ing announcement with considerable
emotion and Immediately ordered it pulled
down, after which he translated the words
| to the frightened director of funerals This
| is the secret of Jacks sudden call to a new
field of labor.
The childlike simplicity of these people
| is such that they are continually imposed
on by every fakir that comes along. This
| incident, which is true excepting names
| is only one of many similar in Character
witnessed by the writer during his soiourn
| in this land of sunshine and hammocks
Indianapolis, ALBERT NJ. MORLAN.