Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-12-12

hace preJuu1ce Is all right III IL leads
man to refrain from putting his mon
ey on the wrong horse.-Yonkers States
man.
ibid l understand you to say you
were pugilistY "Dat's what" MAN
ual. oral or cahgraphicy-
Journal
She--Have you ever loved anybody
else. Harold? He (apologetically)-
Well-you know how it is yourself
Somerville Journal.
you all l have to say. Have you under
stood me? She-Oh, please, say 1t
again.-Deutsche Warte.
She says she can't afford a cab
Expenses she must curb,
Yet when she walks upon the street
Her carriage is superb.
New York Herald.
Spencer (vindictively)-I'ye an old
score to settle with you. Ferguson
(blithely)-I know you have. That twen-
ty you owed me so long.-New York
Herald
Mrs. Shopleigh-Is 1t any trouble to
you to show goods? Mr. Cashcall-No,
ma'am. But it's a good deal Of trouble
to sell them, sometimes.-New York
Herald.
Foreman Through the speaking tube)
Where do you want that stuff about
Turkey put? Night editor yelling back)
On the inside, of course.-Chicago
Tribune
The glorious charge Of the Light Bril-
gade,
BY Tennyson famously sung,
Is nothing to that which my doctor
made
For taking look at my tongue.
-Yenowine's News ae.2es
Muggins- tell me Bjones is
very devoted husband. Buggins-Yes,
indeed. Why he actually goes to his
own wife's afternoon teas.-Philadel-
phia Record.
Miss Pert-Is Miss Strait Lace cir
cumspect? Miss Caustic-C ircumspect?
Why, she won't accompany n young
man on the piano without chaperon.
Salem Gazette.
Else-My dearest Stella! I haven't
seen you for four months. How is your
Charles? Stella-Oh, my Charles has
changed very much since then. His
name is now Robert .-Fliegende Blaet-
ter
We are taught by experience stern
That the girl who doth manage to catch
A husband with money to burn
Is likely to make good match.
Philadelphia Record.
Mrs. Snaggs-I understand that pa
per is made of wood now. Mr.. Snaggs
Yes; SO is string. "String? Yes;
what else do you suppose cordwood is
used forT-Pittsburg Chronicle-Tele-
graph.
Goodfellow-If my clothes were not
too big for you, I'd give you an old suit.
Hungry Hank (gratefully)-Boss IL
you'd give me the price of a square
meal, warrant they'd fit me all right.
Truth.
Let us be thankful when we eat
Though skies be sad and murky-
That though we still love turkey meat,
We do not live in Turkey.
Atlanta Constitution.
Codger-Funny that such a quiet, do
nestle sort of a chap as you should re-
main bachelor. Didn't you ever think
Of marrying? Solus-Yes; perhaps that
is the reason 1 never married.-BOstoA
Transcript.
Strawberries. Probe has BEEN tEeat,
ing my rheumatism for the past7six
months" Singerly-"Are you any bet
teri" Strawber-"I should say SO.
When he came with his bill yesterday,
l was able to run like deer."-Har-
per's Bazaar. ~
Mrs. Prattle Ito herANfsitor) laHaYe
you heard of the spleidid catcnHAi0
Swiftly has made? She is engaged f6
a nobleman, the baron of-of--(to her
husband)-What is he baron Of. my
dearY Mr.. Prattle (who, has met ,hiw)5
Ideas.-Brooklyn Life. ~ F4l''5
Success is toboggan slide; ''0 -
It's mighty slippery, brother,
You scarcely reach one end before
You're hustling for the other. 49,,
Washington Star.
"If / give your friend place." said
the banker, che will have to give bond.
1 suppose you will go on" Bond"
exclaimed the other man. "Why, he
can be trusted with uncounted mill
IONS" "Yes; but all the money we have
is counted. Journal.
"Haye you anything to say before
sentence is pronounced against your
asked the judge. 1.-THE only thing I'm
kickin' about" answered the convicted
burglar, sis bein' identified by q man
that kept his head under the bed clothes
the whole time. That's wrong
Judge.
"How are all our great landed estates
in EnglandT asked the American
pleasantly. Yours exclaimed the
Englishman.. Certainly - II don't
see what claim you have to them"
"No? Well, perhaps you can tell me
what would have become of them II It
had not been for the money of our
girls. Evening Post.
The Senae of Direcfion