The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-01-27

| committee clerks are needed. But IL
some of them are superfiuous, most of the
committee clerks are pretty and he is a
| mighty mean man who would criticise a
member of the legislature for securing a
pretty and deserving girl a s. a day job.
| There is a distinct tendency in the legis-
lature toward economy in the state at
| large. The house bill reducing the salary
of county officers makes a cut of from 20
| to % per cent. The senate bill cuts them
| about % per cent. In neither bill is the
reduction uniform. Some members are
| in favor of a uniform cut of as high as 30
per cent. all around. There Is talk too of
abo ishing tho office of mineral land COM
missioner, who, now that Montana has full
membership in congress, is regarded as
a superfluity. There is also some discus
sion as to the ACCESSIBILITY of dispensing
with the bureau of labor and agriculture.
These two offices, il is said, cost the state
from 5000 to $1,000 annually apiece.
-.
The charge that Helena has no INDUS
tries of her own, or directly tributary to
her. no longer lies. Helena, be it known,
has her Lump Gulch. South, in the direc-
| ton of Clancy, Ia miles distant from the
city, in a region rich and rugged with eter-
nal boulders and luxuriant sage brush.
the hitherto unmolested home of the wild
and untamable jack rabbit, lies Lump
Guch. Here, as is reported, the most as
founding discoveries of gold and silver
and precious stones are of daily occur
renee. Milton sang of the fabulous
wealth of Ormus and of Ind, and of the
gorgeous East, which with lavish hand
showered on her kings barbaric pearls
and gold, and Milton thought he was
whooping it up in pretty good style; but
Milton knew naught of Lump Gulch or
its treasures; never even in his strongest
and serenest flights OF imagination did he
dream of Lump Gulch. 1t has taken ages,
but the world moves and Lump Gulch has
| finally been brought to light. Down
| through the centuries mankind has come,
| toiling, struggling, fighting, praying, ours
| ing, loving, hating, dying, and never
heard of Lump Gulch until now. Genera
tons have succeeded generations, nations
| have arisen on the ruins of other nations
and flourished and fallen, cycles of civili-
cation have come and gone, and still the
human race in it's awful and inscrutable
| destiny has been permitted until the
present day to remain in absolute ignor-
ance of Lump Gulch. Some profound his
| torians there are who insist that the great
events of the worlds history have been
| judcously timed by Providence. But let
| the discovery of Lump Gulch be ascribed as
| il may to human accident or theistic de-
sign, the great, salient fact stands forth
| in all it's power and majesty that the dis
| covery has at length been made-the
world has Lump Gulch, and Lump Gulch
is only II miles from Helena. The news
| has gone forth, the excitement is on, the
rush to Lump Gulch has begun. A stage
for Lump Gulch leaves the head of Main
1 1olA al
| ready as many as five men have poured
into Lump Gulch in a single day. With
| characteristic resolution and enterprise,
Sam Word has organized the Helena q
| Lump Gulch Railroad company,wth a cash
capital of SIS, 0OO,O 01. The Helena board of
| trade has met and unanimously resolved
| that Lump Gulch is the center of the
| worlds precious metal supply, and the
| books are now open for subscriptions to
the stock of the Lump Gulch Wheelbar-
| row, Dinner Bell q Reduction company.
With the advent of spring the develop
ment of the unrivaled resources of Lump
| Gulch will go forward on n magnificent
| scale. The forty-niners of California have
| been famed in song and story, but how
| feebly will they line up with the ninety
| FLYERS of Lump Gulchl There are gulches
and gulches, and the glory of some OF
them has blazed around the world. There
| is Dead Mans Gulch and there is Hang
mans Gulch, Grizzly Bear Gulch and
| Wild Jackass Gulch, Bue-Eyed Nellie
| Gulch and Bow-Legged Mary Gulch,
Crazy Chinaman's Gulch, Sinking Indian
Gulch, Sooner Dog Gulch. Last Chance
| Gulch, all sorts and conditions of gulches
let not their names or memory be
| aspersed. But let right and JUS
| tice prevail, and let the bright
| est crown of fame, the blue
ribbon of Immortality, the first gold
medal of supernal glory be awarded TO the
| Gulch of Lump. AS we'll as in the world
| of commerce and industry, how shall it
not shine in the realm of poetry and
music, now and forever more Itself
supreme concentration of euphony,
what superb possibilities of rhyme and
rhythm are presented, all, as it were, in
| Lump. What delicate and exquisite Ten
nysonic combinations are capable of for
nation with bump. chump, dump, hump,
| Jump, rump, stump, slump and thump.
Never has more inviting theme for lyri-
cal effort offered itself since the worthy
| and venerable Mother Hubbard with
| slow and stately tread conveyed her justly
| celebrated person to the classic, though
hollow and deceptive, cupboard. Go to,
We scoffers at Helena's greatness and
| grandeur, her wealth and power, her in
dustries and resources, her American
cracker factories and Chinese joss houses
and Missouri river dams, consider her
Lump Gulch and be wise. Ie who do not
like il, may lump 1t. All hail to this valu-
| able acquisition, this sweet and priceless
boon to Helena. to Montana. to America,
TO the world. On to Lump Gulch! VIve
la Lump Gulch! Whoop il up for Lump
Gulch with an everlasting whoop.
| -
The death of Lord Randolph Church i'll
has brought TO light the fact that there is
n connection between Montana's solons
and the British aristocracy. Mr.. j. V.
jerome. the courteous and capable jour
nal clerk of the senate, is a first cousin of
Lady Churchill, who is the daughter of
i