davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1895-04-13
Wanted to BE In Time.

Friend-There Is a new cure for your
disease-discovered by a noted European
scientist. All the papers are talking about
1t.
Patient-My gracious! Get me some at
once. Don't lose a day; don't lose an
hour; don't lose a moment!
Certainly. But, my dear friend, your
disease is not dangerous. Why SO much
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1895-04-13
Too Much.

The eldest Of three little chaps was
sternly reproved by his mother for his bad
behavior. You are the oldest, Cyrus"
she said, land you ought to be an example
to Homer and Jack" "Well, I'll be an
example to Homer" said Cyrus, shut I
won't be an example for both Of 'em.
Homer's got to be it for ck."-Boston
TRANSCRIPT.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1895-04-13
A Late Lullaby.

The following is the way the lullaby Is
sung now in Kansas:
Rockaby, baby, your mamma has gone.
She's out at a caucus and will be till dawn.
She wore papa's trousers, and in them looked
queer.
30 hushaby, baby, your papa is here.
Fresno Republican.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1895-04-13
This Must Be How 1t IL,

The Weather Man-Are the people on
the streets dressed as though they were
prepared for a mild day?
His Office Boy-Yessir.
The Weather Man (chuckling)-Then
just reach for that cold wave valve and
send her down to Is low.-Chicago
Record.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1895-04-13

hurry?'
'There is not an instant to waste.
These new cures always stop curing after
they have been tried a few weeks. New
York Weekly.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1895-04-13
A Flood Of Light.

Drug Clerk-What did you say is the
matter with your husbands
Customer-Neuralgia.
Drug Clerk-Now l can read tho pre-
scriptiunl-Harlem Life.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1895-04-13
IncOmprehensibIe

81 don't see why people call that frowsy
little German girl a poem"
Jack-Probably because no one can un-
derstand her. Chicago Inter Ocean.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1895-04-13
The Voice of Experience

It Is better to be alone in the world than
to bring up a boy to play ON the accor-
dion Texas Siftings.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1895-04-13

Did your uncle remember you in max
ing his willf,''
Charlotte must have, for there is no
mention of my name in it.-Chicago In
ter Ocean.
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1895-01-16
Brown Of Oxsnvvotamie.

John Brown of Ossawatomie spake on his
dying day:
1 will not have to shrive my soul a priest
in slaverys pay,
But let some poor slave mother whom
have striven to free,
With her children, from the gallows stair
put up prayer for me!
John Brown of Ossawatomie they led him
out to die;
And 10! poor slave mother with her little
child pressed nigh,
Then the bold blue eyes grew tender and
the old harsh face grew mild!
AS he stopped between the jeering ranks
and kissed the negrO's child.
The shadows of his stormy life that NOM
ent fell apart;
And they who blamed the bloody hand for
gave the loving heart.
That kiss from all it's guilty means re-
deemed the good INTENT
And round the grisly fighters hair the
martyrs aureole bent
Perish with him the folly that seeks
through evil good.
Long live the generous purpose unstained
with human blood
Not the raid of midnight terror, but the
thought which underlies;
Not the borderer'S pride of daring, but the
Christians sacrifice.
Nevermore may you Blue Ridges the North
- ern rifle hear,
Nor see the light of blazing homes flash on
the negro's spear,
But let the free winged angel Truth their
guarded passes scale,
To teach that right is more than might.
and justice more than MALL
So vainly shall the future set her battle
in array;
In vain her trampling squadrons knead the
winter snow with clay.
She may strike the bouncing eagle but
she may not harm the dove:
And every gate she bars to Hate shall
open wide to Love!
Whittier
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1895-01-16

l said with some asperity He was a COM
mon looking man. Don't you remember
Bontor of ST Gregs?" he said.
l was half inclined to decline to recognize
and | need not know him if got better off
We talked-or rather he talked. He told
me he was clerk in an office in Gray's Inn
road-not doing very WE'LL he said "You.
see,' said he, ''our boss is bit of a screw.
and he believes in buying in the cheapest
market. He bought me there, and l am
dirt cheap. That's why 1 am lunching out
here. Have bit?'
mo, thank your said coldly. Il have
lunched." That was not true.
LAS you please, old chap How's things
with your?
Il doing fairly we'll, thanks" l re-
piled.
"Of course" he acquiesced. l looked up
sharply, suspectng sarcasm, but he was
looking at a sparrow You were always
a brilliant chap and were sure to get on -
This-whether sarcasm or honest belief
was rather more than l could bear. / got
up and said that l must CO. Said Bontor.
I've got half an hour to spare, so I'll walk
win you We walked along Holborn, he
with MS hands in his pockets He laughed
contentedly over his troubles. and told me
shamelessly of his many shifts of life This
suited me, as it left me no necessity to talk.
IL seemed he was the same BontOr as at
school. Make a bit sometimes" he said.
Know thing or two. knocking about
quiet chaps like you. know lot. but don t
know where to get things. l do-and so
make bit. Pipes? -this anything in your
llne? And he pulled out a fashy meer-
schaum in a red case. l said NO" and he
continued: Il s'pose not: nothing under
Muras for you, eh? Don't smoke myself
too expensive. I sell these things though
100 per cent and not bad value after all,
All l make that way l put away-do some
thing with it some day. At present l live
on my screw-or less, if possible. Look
here!'
"Well?' l said.
''See my front and cuffs? Look very we'll.
don't they? Grand idea-cartridge paper
Gentlemanly appearance at precious little
cost. Good wrinkle-but no good to you, of
course. Ave a drink?
l said Mo- and held out my hand 'Oh.
come and have drink he urged. and
yielded The bit of going without lunch
is a hard one to acquire and l felt faint.
Besides l could pay him back some day.
We went into private bar. in Chancery
Lane, and had some ale. He said of course
l usually drank better tack than that but
he couldn't spring it. A man came in as
we talked; forid with drink and affable
Excuse me minute said Bontor. hi
rectly afterwards l saw him speaking n
the stranger; the pipe was held up for in
spection, refused, re-offered. haggled over
and finally changed hands. Bontor came
back gleefully, thinking half crown and !
| form. Have another said he; declined
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1895-01-16

Such. in the Opinion of a Western
Lawyer, Is the Federal Supreme

II am a lawyer from Western CITY in
Washington on business, said Alfred FIRE.
mont to a writer for the Washington Star
Il have seen the sights other visits and
find myself with an idle afternoon. I re-
call that the supreme court is in session
the most august judicial tribunal in the
republic, whose members are the very en-
bodiment of the majesty and dignity of
the law. | conclude to go there with a
reverent feeling. hoping for baptism of
the spirit which. will inspire me to better
efforts in my profession / enter tho
their judicial majesties in awful array in
their great high backed. padded chairs and
NEST of them apparently asleep. But I
reflect that such position with closed
eyelidS is conducive to abstract attention
and reflection. They are pondering deeply
the arguments of counsel a man of age
and dignity who has perhaps spent months
in preparing for this OCCASION which TO
him is the high water mark in his profess
sional life. Suddenly one of the Judges
rouses himself and makes some remark TO
his left. 1t is evidently irrelevant to the
case for both laugh and pass it down the
line from right to left. 1T provokes com
ment and retort back and forth and smiles
and mods until the whole court is engaged
with itself, while the poor LAWYER on his
feet, not daring to notice the inattention
and discourtesy even by momentarv
break in his speech, plunges hoDeessly on
realizing that his carefully prepared argu-
ment is receiving no attention When the
irrelevant subject is exhausted the Judges
settle back into impressive high proved
silence. which is broken again and again
as they lean over and talk to each other
right or left or call page or examine a
docket, write a note or retire to the ante
room.
"But this is not the worst, for just as the
clock strikes AIT the very first stroke
without even SO much as L beg pardon or
May / interrupt your the chief Justice
breaks in, Adjourn court in the very midst
of the speakers sentence, and all the
Judges jump up and are off as though they
were SO many laborers in a trench throw
ing down their picks at the stroke of the
hour The constitution insures them their
offices during good behavior What pity
good behavior had not been defined to in
clude courtesy and politeness toward the
| bar. whose members, appearing before
| them, are officers of the court, charged
| with the equal duty and dignity of main
| tanning the laws and securing justice. Why
! quette for the same court, one requiring
| even from the most venerable practitioner
| the utmost Difference, while it permits alb.
| solute rudeness from the court? These me1
of the bench are refined gentlemen, Observ-
| ing the forms and usages of polite society
and how such rudeness can have become
| the practice of this great court is prob
| lem to lawyer from the West, where
] judges are models of judicial courtesy and
| dignity
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1895-01-16

GREAT NORTHERN RAILWAY.
TICKETS: 800 Nicollet Ave and Union Depot
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1895-01-16
VARIETIES,
Montreal's big bridge is almost two miles on


The intensity of confined sound is illustrated
at Carsbrook Castle, Isle of Wight, where there
is well 200 feet deep and II feet in diameter
When pin is dropped into it, the sound of it
striking the surface of the water, 1s2 feet below
be distinctly heard.
Delaware is not densely populated state, but
Texas as thickly peopled her population
would be about %, 900, 900. Were Texas as numer-
ousy peopled Massachusetts her population
would exceed 10. 000 900 the total population of the
United States according to the of 1890.
More impressive still, if Texas were as densely
peopled Rhode Island her population would
be more than So, 900, 900.
About Engagement Rings.-An important de-
olson has just been pronounced in Vermont as to
engagement rings. A young man sued to recover
that he had given to a young woman who
after accepting the ring, repudiated the engage.
ment. The judge decided that it must be re-
turned or else that the recipient must fulfill the
conditions under which it was presented. The
English courts years ago decided that an
engagement ring is not recoverable under any
circumstances.
Good Woman.-It is told of the late Prof.
Swing that, he sauntering slowly along
near his home in Chicago one winter morning,
the stone pavements were coated with ice, and a
woman who lived in the neighborhood was eau
tiously picking her way along Suddenly her
feet flew out and she came down hard upon the
sidewalk. Prof Swing paused to satisfy himself
that she not seriously injured. Then he drily
remarked Mrs. s., in my opinion you a
very good woman" Pqued at his remark and
at the same time at her predicament, she re-
torted: Il don't Know why you think so. What
do you mean?'' Scripture has it," gravely re-
piled Prof. Swing, that the wicked stand in
slippery places You seem to be sitting down. "
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1895-01-16

If you are not a subscriber of the REP
RESENTAT1VE send Twenty-Five cents
for trial subscription.
The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1895-01-16

II you are not subscriber Of the REP
RESENTAT1VE send Twenty-Five cents
for trial subscription.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-03-03

In my direction. He had evidently
heard me. bat had not quite located my
position But before he had tine 10
make Up his mind or to appreciate his
danger. had broken his spinal column
with hasset fran my 1856 Marlin. /
did not see him for quite little while
the conruotson be was making I judged
that I had nortaiiy wounded him. Ny
companions. rushing up. wanted to
know what I had fred az and. when I
pointed TO where the bear was. Cal
made rush for him and IL was all we
could do 10 keep him from closing in on
the bear with his sailors knife. On
going nearer, we found the bear had
dragged himself about thirty yards
over logs and through br.ars. until he
had become damned between two logs.
The general getting a good view OF
him from stump. fired $50 Sharps
rife az his head, which only stunned
him. although the bullet passed through
his head barely missing ne brain I
then fired again at him. trying for his
brain, but the result was no better
than that OF my companions shot,
Thinking that We had virtually dis
patched him. we allowed Cal TO finish
him. which he did by driving the i'm
menseskT-efs 10 his heart several times.
Well, we had our bear, and the next
question was: How TO get him to camp
We first cut him open TO dispose of his
entrai!s. and see where we had struck
him. We found that we had broken his
back and struck him twice in the head.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-03-03

out the limbs most prolific OF fruit.
Selecting branch a little above the one
he was standing upon. he carefully
climbed 10 a secure position land then
placed one OF his hind feet on IL and
pushed until he had separated II from
the trunk. He watched the branch fail
to the ground and then deliberately
selected another. which he broke off
In the same manner as the first. He
probably would have stripped the tree
entirely OF its branches had not yelled
at him TO see him scramble down. He
first turned his head quickly. and then.
locating the noise. he deliberately
backed down and rushed off in the
underhrush. leaving, as he hurried
through n wake that would have done
Justice to a herd OF frightened cattle.
oh. how / wished for my kodac. lis
was in a splendid position. only few
feet away and in open view. This was
the first time | had ever seen a bear
feeding on bearberries. but l have fire.
quently seen where he had spoiled a
tree, by almost denuding IL OF It's foil
age, but never before had an oppor-
tuniiy OF observing how he did il.
He l. Quite Harmless.
AS II we'll known. the black bears are
the most harmless OF any species OF the
genus ursus They will never attack a
man unless badly wounded. and will
run from him In the woods like a scared
rabbit. Their senses OF smell and hear
Ing are most acute. and on this ac-
count they are as difficult To Kill or
trap as any animal that has ever
roamed unchecked through the wilds OF
nature. To :llustrate: Last June had
the pleasure 81 whipping tho Skyko-
mish. by courtesy called river. hut
more properly raging torrent" for II
rushes down from the mountains over
a bed Of bouiders with such deafer-
ms roar that you can hardly hear your
self think. While spent and weary with
s'that tired feeling" which sometimes
takes possession ef even anglers. I law
stretched on the messy bank under tha
darkening shade of a gigantic cedaf.
whose drcopine branches seemed to De
playing last tag" with the lcapsnr.
bounding and sumbling waters az that
mad. rushing stream. = saw .ne~re
from the brush on the opposite side ~
the river a hage bear. the very largest
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-03-03

smith. who placed him at the edge OF
q small swamp in the draw. with IN
structions 10 keep stiIl and not TO
breathe. and By no means 10 fire at
anything until he had made out the
object at which be intended TO shoot.
These instructions are. OF course. only
necessary 10 be given to the tender
foot and then n order to be perfectly
safe YOU should drive them into his
head with club until you have pound
ed him into fnsensihsiity. Smith then
left him TO so around the head OF the
draw. ana 10 approach the swamp from
the opposite side. A half hour brought
him 70 where he intended to take his
stand. and he had no more than seated
himself when he heard a shot and the
whiz OF a bullet. and while he was
scraznbiing 10 get TO the leeward side
Of friendly tree, a succession OF shots
arose from the center Of the swamp
that resembled an Infantry skirrnish.
A few pine cones and several small
branches from the tree came tumbling
down upon HIM. While he was trying
10 make out the cause OF this most un-
expected ftlsilade a large bear came
crashing through the swamp in direct
line toward him. OF course Smith
knew what to do under the circum-
stances. He didn't do anything but
place bullet through old bruins heart.
After a few calls and tremuIous ans
wers. Smith succeeded III collecting Mr..
T. from the swamp. who upon seeing
the bear writhing in his last strong
agony, breathlessiy exclaimed:
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-03-03
TAKING HOME THE spoILs.

The first shot was indeed a lucky one.
for by breaking his back and four ribs
We prevented h.sn from getting away.
We proceeded to gather him up. but
found We had a cross little TOO heavy
to 'bear." Fortunately, our route was
down hir all the way, SO We pulled,
tugged and dragged, and dragged.
tugged and pulled, until We had him in
camp before breakfast. The other por-
zion of the party returned in the course
of an hour or 50. but had nothing 10
show for their tramp. although one of
them reported that the other was so
badly frightened that he allowed bear
twice the size of the one we had in
camp to walk away from him, without
even giving him a parting salute. The
commodore himself reported as a fact
that. while he was standing on a log
In the swamp the bear stepped upon
the other end OF the log. and quietly
proceeded to walk toward him. He was
SO startled that he had great difficulty
in realizing that he was bear hunting.
At any rate. by the time he had found
his gun and shoulder. the bear had
stepped off the log into the swamp and
out OF view.
Teaching Tenderfoot.
Another incident OF this kind hap
pened short while after our first hunt.
this time to a visitor to our camp who
was exceedingly anxious to kill a bear.
He came fully equipped with gun. pis-
tol and knife. All he wanted was to be
taken TO where there was good. large
sized bear, and he would do the rest.
/ knew that such a paraphernalia as
the one in which he presented himself.
10 use the vernacular Of the Wild and
wocfy West. was "hoOdoo.'' and worn
only by the "tenderfoot." and | did not
care TO risk my life in the woods with
one of them. ] prevailed upon Smith.
careful hunter ana dead shot. 10 take
him ont. Wei. Smith good naturediy
promised him that. IL there were any
bears in the woods. he would find one
for him. Smith was one OF our most
enthusiastic hunters. had killed dozen
or more bears on the canal, and was
thoroughly acquainted with every spur
and draw on the eastern slope Of the
olympfcs He had been anxious for
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-03-03

sound Is so great that the stencil aris-
ing from the carcasseS Of dad salmon
crowded ont of the water has caused
much sickness, and has driven settlers
70 the hills Tor months The raHchers
on Woods creek. In Saehor1ssh county.
fer4iIsx3 trekr fields wlfh salmon sb-
tasnes b simply driving tneir wagons
In the ssxesrx and using their pitch
forks 10 Load with Trout being 50
much smaller. IL L. not quite 60 easy
for old hruin 20 obtain a meal. but ne
enjoys the sport as much as ever did
enthusiastic follower Of cid Izsak. and
he relsshes the speckied beauties as
rnueh as any nakoo that ever spent
a summer a. a saoantata resort
His manner OF gathering berries Is
almost human. He can strip bush OF
huekieberrses as quickly and as seien-
fif1eaIiy as "k.ootchman." and as Tor
gathering bea-he~rie= he IL an expert
Several summers since. while fishing In
the saosTazsgI-.e river. by the way, one
OF the finest trout streams in the world.
ard while coming down the stream IN
a canoe manipulated by a 'siwash."
my attention was called by the wild
gesticulatlons Of the Indian TO large
black bear, which happened at that
moment To aoe feeding, or rather gath
ering iearberrles We had come down
with the current so quietly. and being
20 Ieeward Of him. were not heard or
scented by him ! m0tioneG 20 the 81
wash 10 hold the came, which he did
by driving h4s paddle into the bed of
the stream. and by obtaining a good
purchase in the gravel came to d stand
still.
Bruin Gathering Berries.
had a perfect view Of the bear and
his MARINER Of gathering this particu-
lar berry. The bearberry Tree. species
of Rhamnus-purshiana or shittim-
wood tthe bark OF which is famous for
its medical auaiitfesl. Is about TWEEN
~ feet high, the berries much scattered
and about the size of the wild cherry.
They are sweet and palatable and
much sought after by his brsfinship
The bear was. at the time ! first saw
him, about midway up the tree, hold
ing on To the trunk with his paws.
while his hind feet rested on a good
sized limb. He seemed TO be scanning
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1895-03-03

brains, frogs a la palet. etc. but ants.
bees and hornets. He thinks no more
OF robbing a hornets nest than small
boy would of robbing melon patch
when the old man has gone TO town
with load of wood. His prodigious
strength enables him TO procure these
delicacies, for with his teeth and claws
he can tear a stump or log into
siivers. and soon reach what an
army OF the most intelligent in
sects known thought to be an
fmpregnable fortress. / have seen
fir logs. comparatively sound. some sgo
or three feet In diameter. torn asunder
by him as though struck by lightning.
Here Is where he resembles that other
epicure, for instead of a waste OF
shekels see what time and power he
expends To obtain so dainty a meal.
1t Is has weakness for these dainties
that has given him the name of the
great American ant-eater.
How He Catches salmon.
But he does not by any means pre-
tend to suhsist on 50 :ndigestihle a
diet I can understand his fondns.ss
Tor fish. for here he enjoys what che
world al large envies. fresh salmon and
mountain trout, How does he catch
them? Well. IL is dIttcsit 60 make one
believe his modus operandi. unless he
has seen run" az salmon or front.
To those who have never Witnessed
such an interesting spectacle IL becomes
a delicate subject 90 handle. since 10
impart the information Of any natural
phenomenon we are obliged to- rely en-
sireiy upon the crNzanhty OF human ma
sure.
or course. IL Is a wc!i-known fact
that salmon are salt water fish. and
that they spawn In fresh water. and
that they SO 10 the head Of fresh water
streams. or rs near Ii as possible. 20
deposit their spawn or eggs The fe-
male after covering the eggs with sand
and gravel leaves them % the male.
who comes along and carefully guards
them from interference by other fish
Until they are Matched. An ordinary
school OF salmon. say from 1000 UP 10
600. ascending a small stream and
having reached thae stage az The
stream favorable I've spawning. and thls
must be- on a rifle az least deep
enough for them to keep in the swim.''