Arizona weekly journal-miner., 1895-06-05
anlNclNo auRRY AROUND.
There Are Various Ways, and some q
 Them Are Ingenious.

It was at a swell dinner party, and two little women smiled knowingly across the table at each other. As soon as the dinner was over they rushed into a quiet corner and de manded simultaneously;
 Tell me how you ever induced your husband to bring you?"
 How on earth did you manage to make him oome?"
 "Oh, I hadn't much trouble this time, modestly replied the woman in green and black. You know my husband always reads his paper at the breakfast table
 "Of course, but what on earth"-
 Had that to do with it? A great deal. You see, he always answers M'hm' to anything say, so l just determined to turn that habit to ac- count The morning that this invi- tation came ] tested him with sev- eral random remarks and, finding hjm absorbed, said: By the way, here is an invitation to dine with Marie on the 18th. Isuppose we ac- cept?' 'M'hm, was the reply, and I said no more.
 "Oh, well, butt
 "Yes l know. But I made all preparations, and when this evening came 1 laid all his things ready. When he came home he was thun- derstruck, and, though I reminded him that he had told me to accept, he declared that he knew nothing about 1t and flatly refused to go. Then l got my gatling gun in posi- ton. I'm so sorry, dear, l said, but as l thought we were going out l allowed the cook to spend the even- ing with her mother, and there isn't a thing to eat in the house. He muttered something about a restau- rant, but ended by making his toilet. And here we are she added trium- phantly.
 How awfully bright of you and how nice you gre looking. If that scheme isn't copyrighted I might try 1t myself some time.
 Goodness, no; use it if you like. It will be perfectly safe Our hus- bands don't belong to the same club. But you haven't told me yet how you managed to come. "
 Very true. l had rather hard time of it--a second wife always does. You see, her husband isverssd in all the ordinary feminine wileS and she must always be original. I tried coazing, tears, threats, every thing, for mamma had brought me this gown from Paris, and I was de- termiEed to show it if it landed ne in the divorce court.
 'Of course you were. Sleeves like that are worth it. '
 Yes, it took 24 hours to think it over. Then an idea occurred to me. You know Tom is awfully sensitive in regard to the difference in our ages, so the next day I allowed him to find me in food of tears. Natu- rally he demanded to know the cause. At first 1 refused to tell, but finally sObbed out that it was because people were saying such cruel things of me What things? Hewas furi- ous. 'They-they say that I'm ashamed to Do seen anywhere with you because you-yeu are so old! And it isn't true at allr He was quiet for a minute or two. Then in a queer voice he said: By the way, you were speaking of an invitation to dine with the Swellstyles yester- day. weren't you? We'll, I find that I can manage to break the business engagement I had for that evening, so you had better accept ."
 %So you merely did as you were bid, after all?"
 Exactly. Mercy, do look at Clara over there! She is actually wearing her wedding dress againr'-Chicago Tribune.