West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1895-08-15
ST. pErEg Ar rnE GATE.



with solemn mlen aud an air scdate.
Whom mp to the top of the golden stair.
i man aud woman ascending there.
Applied for admission. They camo and stood
Before ST. Peter, 50 great and good.
In hopes the City Of Peace 10 win.
And asked -. Peter 10 let them In.
The woman was tali and lank. and thin
With "a soragsy bcardlet npon her chm.
The man was short, ank thick. and stout.
Ills stomach was built so % rounded out.
his face was pleasant and al the while
lie wore kindly aud gentle smile.
The choir' in the distance the echoes woke.
And the man kept still while the woman spoke
/ oh thou. who guards the gate" said she,
We two come hither boseeching thee
To let Ne enter the heavenly land
Aud play our harps with the angel band.
Oi me. St Peter. there Is no doubt
There's nothing from heaven To bar ME out
I've been to meeting three times n week,
And almost always ia rise and speak
rye told the slnncrs about the day
When they'd repent OF their evil wayi
I've told my neighbors- I've told 'em all
Bout Adam and Eve and the Primal Fall,
I've shown them what they'd have TO do
II they'd pass in with the chosen few;
I " hAai htl tittlt pain OF NuAA clear
Laid out the plan for their whole career
I've talked and talked 10 'em loud and long
For my lungs are good, and my voice Is strong,
So, good Sc. Peter. you'll clearly see
| The gates Of heaven IS open for ME;
But my old man., regret To say.
Hasn't walked IN exactly the narrow way.
He smokes and swears,and grave faults he's GOT
And don't know whether he II pass cor not.
He never would pray with an earnest vim
or goto the revival, or Join In hymn,
50 ! had TO leave him in sorry there
While l. with the chosen. united I'm prayer.
He ate what tho pantry chanced 60 afford
While l, In my purity, sang TO tho Lord,
And If cucumbers were all he got.
It's chance If he merited THEM or not
but o, Peter ! love him so,
To the pleasures ofheaven please let him go
I'VE done enough, saint I'VE been.
Won't that atone? Can't you let him inf
by my grim gospel / know It's so
lhat the unropcntant must fry below,
But isn't there SOME way y0n can sea
That he may enter who's dear 90 MEY
IT'S MARROW gospel by which pray,
but the Chosen expect 10 find SOME way
OF soaxing, or fooliug, or bribing you,
So that THEIR relations can ambe through;
And say, ST. Peter, Il seems to me
This gate isn't kept It ought 10 be-
You ought 10 stand right by the opening there,
And never SIT down in that easy chair.
And say, ST. Peter, my sight Is dimmed.
Idont Ike the way your whlskers arc trimmed
They're cut too wide. and outward toss,
They'd look better narrow, cut straight across
Well, we must be going our crowns TO win,
80 open, St Peter, and Wen pass in"
81. Peter sat quiet and strokoI his staff,
But, spite OF his Office hd had to laiigh.
Then said with a fiery CLEAN I'm his eye;
Who's tending this gateway-you or 1 2"
And then he arose Ia his statute tall,
And pressed button upon the wall,
and said 20 the imp who answered the bell
Escort this lady around TO hell"
The man stood still as a piece OF stone
Stood sadly, gloomily there alone.
life long. settled idea ho had
That hs wife was good and ne was bad:
lie thought II the woman went down below
That he would certainly have TO 90:
lhat " she won't 20 the regions dim
There wasn't the ghost OF a show for HIM.
Slowly he turned. by habit bent.
To follow wherever the woman went.
st. Peter, standing on duty there,
Observed that the top Of his head was bare
He called the gentleman back and said
Friend, how long have you been wed -
Thirty years" with a weary sigh.
And then hc thouglttfully added ''whyf"
ST. Peter was silent. with head bent down
lie raised his hand and scratched his crown
Then, seeming a different thought TO take,
| Slowly, half 70 himself. ne spake;
THIRTY YEARS with that woman theref
No wonder the man hasn Z any haIfi
Swearing is wicked smokes not good.
Tic smoked and swore--I should think he would
Thirty years with that tongue so sharpf
| Oh Angel Gabrioli GrvE HIN n6RPl
\ jewolod harp with a golden string
Good sir, pass IN where tho angels singi
| Gabriel give him a seat alone
ono with cushlOn-up near the throne
Call up some angels 10 play their besti
Let him enjoy the musicand rest.
Sec that on the finest Ambrosla he feeds
! Hes had about all the hell he needs.
/ II isn't just hardly the thing 90 do
To roast him on earth and the future too Q"
| They gave him harp with golden strings,
a glitterlng robe aud pair Of wings,
And he said, as he entered the Realm Of Day
/ We'll this beats cucumbers, anyway rf
| And 80 the scripture had come to pass
''Ihe last shall be- rst and the first hall be last
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