The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-10-13
CUSTAVE ECKSTEIN & col
TRES oS o!S Now 1875 DTOughtOn Street.

dry Sundays began. There are many men
going around the town at the present time
suffering from a consuming thirst, when
they attribute to Roosevelt, little thinking
that Flammarion, in far off Paris, knows
the cause to be the still remoter comet.
Nobody would eat, says ILLUMINATION, as
the comet got nearer. That, too, is a
condition noted in New York. Singularly
enough. 1t attacks the same people, for
the men who have the consuming thirst
on Sundays eat only on that day, and the
rest of the week they drink copiously, but
go without food.
by NJ. Flammarion, who finds In the de-
struction Of the human race an excellent
subject for the exercise Of his descriptive
faculties The heat Will rise, he says, I'M
til mercury spuFts out OF the top of Their
mometers, dogs will stick out their tongues
until they turn inside out, and things VIII
have to be put into the stove to cool.
The air Will be filled with flying meteor
ties and people who escape the heat VIII
be hit in the back Of the. neck By falling
stars. Such as escape this terrible fate
by going on board ironclads and carrying
sheet-iron umbrellas in the streets Will be
comet will throw out In advance, as a
gentle reminder that 1t is coming.
Finally, on the third day, as the comet
gets nearer and nearer, the Thermometer
will rise TO 1892 Fahrenheit, men VIII fry
eggs on the sidewalk ana Immediately ex-
pire, and everybody will die from suffo-
cation before 10 a. m. Then. the comet
will rush in and complete the scene OF
weeks to live, according TO the direful
foreboding of the astronomical gentlemen
who have figured out this gloomy ending
for mundane things
Faye's comet is on time. It's wheels are
running smoothly. IL Is coming around
the curve from the infinite with plenty OF
Roadway and steam to spare. It's axles
have all been creased and large store OF
acquired momentum has been slowed
away in the after-locker.
But there Is yet ray of hope. One
astronomer says that the world Is slew
We are behind time, according to this
gentleman.
Everybody up to the present had
thought that things were going at an ex-
tremely rapid rate on this globe. We con-
graduated ourselves on the fact that we
were fast, up-tO-date, fin de Steele out
of sight, IN fact. 1t is good TO know now
that this is not So that %e are s;, nor Only
If we were up to date we would get into
trouble with Faye's comet II we We're
ahead OF time as many people. had sup
posed, then we would be sipged with the
heat from that fiery wanderer of the
skies, which Il itself thoroughly up 70
statement which has been sent out from
one leading observatory, we are away be-
hind the times
This may be ouro salvation. We will
view the passage OF sFaye's comet from
afar. watching 1t cross the place where
we ought to be and bfhaying the laugh
on that meteoric body as It looks around
for the earth at tn e crossroads and asks
'sWhere are we at9she
A little caicdlation Of time has done II
all II the tables are right then we are
safe Il is a great many years since the
human race was destroyed by a comet,
and the presumption IS strongly in favor
of our coming out ahead this time.
Meanwhile Faye's comet continues, &C
cording to the astronomers, to swing into
view Nobody has seen It yet but Them
selves, and for all the public knows the
whole thing may be a myth.
But in any event the betting is strongly
In favor of the earth against the field.
Fayes comet and the chances Of coll
lision find no takers, and even in the event
OF its appearing right in front of US, bet
ting would be strongly in favor of its being
knocked out in the first round. The safest
place of all would be New York, because
Il has more water around ii than any other
city.
-MilIie-Are Won engaged 70 the baron?