Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1895-05-17
A LAeas AND july FOOL.
snt lie Knows Deal Moro About Cuinc.
Pigs Than lie Did.

8ut Ua Knows n Deal More About Guinea
Pigs Than lie Did.
Il have Just come i'm from the country
said the young man with the fall stvlC
derby, land | succeeded in making a large
aud juicy fool of myself almost every day
while | was there | staid with an uncle
Of mine who has farm rs u, Il miles from
nowhere, and the Reubens got the laugh or
me so many times that | can't remember
the number
THE queerest experience that | had.
though, was AT one of their county fairs
They held the fair early this year Tor some
reason or other, and | was on han 10 take
IL in ! went out Ia the grounds with
party Of young women who were visiting
In the neighborhOod, aud undl,m aged by
the failure of my former efforts - string
the rustics ! started ont 10 have fun with
them "a soon a we struck the grounds.
We walked around for "A couple Of hours,
and ] was poking all manner OF fun at the
people we met Finally we came 10 the
shed where the poultry was on exhibition,
and as we went along looking at the vari-
ously bred chickens, got particularly fun
ny. At the end of one of the rows Of cOops
was a box with five or six guinea pigsin it.
There were quite u number of couutrymeu
standing around looking at the queer little
animals
I'VE walked over aud looked at tn,
pigs Then / said loudly, DO you know
that if you pick up guinea pig by the
tail its eyes will drop outE The country.
men stared Fact | continued. Pick
one Of them up by the tail, and its eyes will
drop right out Most queerly constructed
anat omically Of any animal known To nat
urallsts. II these pigs were mine, would
soon show you
"a big, strapping fellow who stood be.
side the box said, Stranger, don't believe
you. | insisted that was right, but he
stood and dOggedly shook his head, and the
rest Of the countrymen sided with him.
Now, guinea pig has no tail, and there is
where the joke comes in. | argued fos
some little time and then made a grand
bluff. pulled out little roll of bills cad
offered TO bet the Reuben SO that iust
that thing would happen. Imagine my
surprise when the Reuben hauled a greas.
old pocketbook out Of his jeans and GOV.
cred the money. was sure had him, foi
the bet was catch one anyhow, and as the
young women who were with me were egg
ing me on couldn't think Il fuuking
90 nderstaud,' | said, J claim that il
1Ou ItNN hI' OAflN EN4A'h pa ~ ~ Ndli lCs
eyes will drop out
81 understand said the countryman, a.
he opened "A little door in the side Of the
box and pulled out "a guinea pig. Now
pick this one up and let's see its eyes drop
out
Then began to laugh. 'Ha, my friends,
! said, i have played little trick on you,
that's all. As a guinea pig has no tail you
can't pick one up by it. If you could, / do
not doubt that its eyes would drop out
Il reached out for my half of the bet,
when the big countryman said: 'Hol On
there mister You iist look an see if this
here guinea pig hain't got tall ] exam
ined it, and may be switched if it didn't
have a tail an inch long The countrymau
picked it up 10y the little caudal appendage,
and Of course its eyes didn't drop out.
Then he reached over, grabbed the wad OF
money and put it in his pocket, remarking
the while, i didn't think when developed
that breed of guineas that they would ever
make that much for me
III be blamed if lac hadn't been work
ing for three years 10 produce guinea pigs
with tails. He had succeeded, aud was
chump enough To 90 up against the only
cage OF that kind Of animals in the world
with my chestnut about their eyes dropping
out. .-Buffalo Press