New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1895-05-08
THE TALK or THE DAY.

A lady who attended service In All Souls Ep!s-
copal Church. In this city, last Sunday. declared
that the Rev. Or. r. Heber Newton crossed nn-
self every time he krelt down, and rumors OF MS
speedy conversion to Roman Catholicism woaId
have soon been circulated had not a member OF the
church Informed her that when she supposed Dr.
Newton to DO making the sign OF the cross he was
really taking Off his eyeglasses
Twenty Years Hence. -Traveller-Trby! Irhhy!
That is a queer name for town. wohaer "he"ee
Citizen OF Trilby sta,.on--Dunno guess It's In
Jun.-,lndanapo!is journal
Gaazooks-I shall be sorry when the electric bug
gy comes in. because enjoy showing my girl no"
I can drive a horse with one hand.
Zounls-If you look at 1t in that way, the electric
buggy Is Just what you want, Tor II won require
even one hand to manage It.
The March of Civilization; What. What" fh''F SAID
nmns yont hi for sundry purchases in
PEACE cage, d tbs as, iiem replied the "'NAa0
That's what il will cost you in addition II Russia
WON se W Us sas e civ is running oren
tails" the vceroy said with sigh
What do you meanF ,,
in sxras zen me IKE
Washington Star
A, the dinner OF the Authors Guild at Delmonicos
on Saturday last Mr.. 7. Il. Connery Editor OF
"Opcs a Week." In responding to the toast OF The
Press In Literature" praised the society ior inc
berality OF It's constitution In admitting 10 MEN,
bershp women. we'll as all competent ana rep
utablc writer's for the newspapers. The ereatese
as we'll as the most industrious authors OF the day.
no said ARE these everyday reporters and corre-
sponjents OF tho press. who write their Dig ana
little books every day OF their busy lives. Ihey
are the most prolific makers OF history and makers
OF romance. and know SO we'll how TO minsle TACT
and fancy in their clever articles that II is often
difficult determine where one ends and the otheT
begins What had long been needed was just this
Authors Guild which combines protection 10 the
writer with tho promotion OF social intimacy ana
enjoyment" The Authors Guild must not be con-
founded with the Authors Club, which is con-
fined strictly to people who have written books or
been engaged in work closely allied to literature.
The guild Is fashioned after the authors leagues
In London and Paris.
Rough Luck DISTRESSED Female-Oh. please. sir.
give mo something all the same.
Benevolent a 'n SIR Ion YOU
recognize me-? I'm the blind mans wife 49,.
Benevolent Gentleman-Yes. remember you; but
Distressed Female-Oh. sir. we're in fresh trouble:
My poor husband has recovered his Slightest. Paul
Globe.
The evolution OF the negige shirt" says The
Philadelphia Record" "is remarkable biz OF his
tory. Years ago they. indeed deserved their rame.
When hyrt introduced they were designed solely
for outE purposes. and were made OF flannel The
only way In which they could be put on or taken
a
AFFAIR down the front Then buttons were substl.
tuei. and finally they made OF calico cheviot
and madras instead OF flannel With each step IN
the line OF enumeration they deterIoraed In COM
fort. until the so-called ncglge shirt is really
less comfortable and stiff looking than the
ordinary white one"
my son." snld the pious gentleman to the boy
who was playing leapirog In the front yard CONT
you know this IL Sunday"
You're right do, shouted the boy 'Mammy's
gone TO camp meetin'. sisters run off with a book
agent all the groceries Is gone the babys IN the
back yard eatn' clay an dads snokn' an a'cussn'
OF the Methodis,s"'-tAtlanta Constitution.
Tho Rev. DR.. Sprecher, OF Cleveland. recalls .
story told OF Morgan. the Egyptian explorer. lie
once discovered n mummy OF one OF the Pharaohs.
When he got IL 10 the railway station. he refused
to put 1t In the luggage-van. This the officials did
not greatly mind. but they compelled the dscoverer
to take firs.-cl ass ticket for Pharaoh as well as
one for himself. On reaching Cairo there was fresh
trouble with tho "octro' officials.
What have you got there?" Morgan asked.
"A mummy" the reply.
"Ah. you can't get that through without paying"
But" urged Pharach's guardian. 'mummes
surely don't pay 'octror duty?"
Don't they?" replied the Official 1--WE Will see
what the register says"
Here the entire stan consulted the register, but
strangely enough. the article In question had been
overlooked by the Administration
WELL" said the officer. I'VE will enter that a.
dried hsh; duty. three piastres!" And 90 poor
Pharaoh was compelled to make his solemn entry
into Cairo under the degrading category Of dried
nsh.