Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-08-21
CORRESPONDENCE
Semphronicus Trees George
,JOhnstOne in Another County.

Semphronicus Trees George
JOhnstone in Another County.
To George Johnstone "B. M. E. R.
Buzzard's Meat Exceedingly Re-
freshiug."
George, I am forced to think
those letters which form the tail
part of your name are a sort OF
sly advertisement to your butch
er's shop in which is sold that com
modify you so dearly love. "Geo.
Johnstone's buzzard meat is the
best to be had"-so the dogs and
feline ramblers say. He can fur
nish you anything from tender. de-
licious gosling flesh to the steak OF
a venerable patriarch who has
been req concicii atmany a spread.
Give George a call that what sot
him to writing for the papers.
His trade was slim and he wanted
10 advertise. Not having as he
says "de necessary free coined sill
YER ter du It wid," he wants his
dear friend "Sem" to give him a
boost (free) through the CORES
pondence columns of the ADvER-
TIsER. This is what this dear fool
has been trying to beg me to do in
his two letters addressed to me.
He also offers me some advice IN
return for the "boom" was to
give him. He has been little
Inconsistent aud mealy mouthed
in his advice but I'm sure the
good people of Edgefeld will look
over this failing of his--he's such
dear innocent, inoffensive crea-
ture. Why he wouldn't harm a
red bug in blackberry time. Geo.
is as nimble in his heels as cayotte
of the Great Waste. When man
is awakened in the dead Of night
by this prowler's gnauing his bot
heels, saddle, ETC., and picks up a
club to frail him, all to be seen is
two pairs of long logs, two flop
ears, and a "jinted' tail making a
streak for the woods. Exactly so
with George; every time l roach
out fer his collar, he sinks away.
His life is as full of trouble as that
of thu poor school teacher deplc-
ted by Bill Snooks after the piece
cam out in the ADVERTISER.
Don't you think Bill Snooks wrote
that piece a little too soon, George:
wouldn't it have been better TO
have waited till his time was out?
George the first time you wrote, |
thought you were an Edgefeld
man, but I'm glad you aint: her
dear old soil would spurn such a
son. George my "two minutes
assertions seemed to stick you. 1t
was ranking thorn in your flesh.
What hurt you was that you knew
was telling the truth. II hab
never seen you," Bosh George l
never had fight in my life, but
can lake a gal baby from its
mammy's arms and make it run
you out of your hide. I know who
you are.
Yes; I have worried the good
readers of the ADVERTISER. [ ad-
NIT that in sack cloth and ashes.
l humbly beg their pardon. But l
worry such spittoon-cleaners as
you ten times more than [ worry
them, You say I steal my views
from somebody else. Maybe so,
but I never was so close run as to
steal them from a rival-all your
trumpery about Ramsey Sniffle was
stolen from my article on Georgia
Scenes"-your brain never rises
higher than your stomach;
hence you've got to flch or go
without. You say I'm trying to
get into politics, and you lie. Does
politician antagonize something
he knows to be popular? Didn't |
fight woman's suffrage? Didn't l
take position on a question last
winter 1 knew to be unpopular?
Just because I don't tote o slick
pants seat around like YOU, you
needn't think Pm devoid of COM
mon sense. If I wanted TO get
into politics, I'd keep my mouth
shut, and agree with everybody
(but Golf and Cleveland.) You
ask me when I got to be reform
er. Well, when Capt. B. R. Till
man was editor of the Alliance
column in the ADVERTISER. While
1 haven't swallowed everything the
reformers have put up, I have al
ways called myself a reformer.
But you a reformer You are
ten cent coat hanger. You say I'm
liable "ter git fertigued." Yes,
running something down to get to
beat it is very fatiguing, and I'd
have that to do. You are little
hairpin-legged, red-shoed, long
haired dnde who weighs 12O lbs.
and wears big breeches. If I'd give
your breeches, kick, the air in
them would collapse like a shot
gun. You couldn't stamp the tail
feathers out of a decent bantam
rooster. You say you're Sin luv"-
that's always been your fix, but
"de debble oh it is this luving" has
always been on one side.
George don't you remember that
t.~.o ,,o,, f,,,,l - ~;sl3. 1 ILL.,.