Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1895-05-04
sprink1es of Spice.

Sprink1es of Spice.
Mrs Editur-This hat is a perfect
poem. Editur-AlI the more reason I
should decline to pay for it-Brooklyn
Life.
Renter-Is there water on the top
floor of this house? House Agent
Yes, ma'am; when it rains.-PhiladeI-
phia Inquirer.
Mrs. Watts-Don't you ever do any
thing at all? Weary Watkins-Oh, yes,
mum. Sometimes / does time.-Indian-
apolis Journal.
Pipkin-I want money, and | want
it bad. Potts-Then you'll have to get
it from a counterfeiter.-Smit Gray
& Co.'S Monthly.
Teacher Tommy, what was the
name of the wife of Napoleon? Tom
my-It-it-it wasn't Trilby, was it?-
Cincinnati Tribune
81 understand that Freddy is getting
ready to be married" what is he
ing g-school Judge.
Shelf there's one thing | hate it's
being photographed. He-Yes, dear, it
must be hard for you to look pleasant.
Pail Mall Budget
When the weather forecaster pre-
diets a cold wave that doesn't come, 1t
may be referred to as signal failure
philadelphia Record.
''How did Mrs. Lovely happen to be-
dropped from the Woman's Rights
Club?'' "She spoke in praise of her
husband. Brooklyn Life.
Anything new to be seen at the thea
ters now?" "Great Scott, no! The
spring bonnets won't be out before Eas-
ter, man."-Chicago Inter Ocean.
We can't tell you, Constant Reader,
what days are considered unlucky TO
be married on. Authorities differ;
some say 365.-Philadelphia Record.
Father-So you wish to make my
daughter your wife? Suitor-Well, it's
the only way I can see of becoming
your son-in-law.-Chicag Inter Ocean.
''Name twelve animals of the polar
regions said the professor, and the
despairing student wrote: "Six seals
and six polar bears" Youths Com
panion.
"Great Scott! put through a terrible
nightp' what was the troubleY 81
thought I'd borrowed So and woke and
found it a dream."-Chicago Inter
Ocean.
''Do you know the count actually adj
dresses her In public as his treasurer
Treasure? His English is a little off.
He means investment t"-IndianapoIis
Journal.
Hobson-I understand your daughter
is taking great pains with her singing.
The Poor Father-"Taking" is not the
word; "giving" is more like it-Phila-
delphia Record.
Mrs. Watts-So it was in the Chicago
wheat market that you lost your aIl2
Everett Wrest-Yes, mum, all save me
honor-and an elegant thirst-Indian-
apolis Sentinel.
Willie-Papa, Maud and James do
not need light in the parlor, do they2
Papa-Why not? Willie-Because /
ward Lampoon.
She-You were behind me at the play
last night, weren't you? How did you
enjoy it? He-I thought it was one
of the prettiest ones you ever wore
New York Herald.
'sWhat is the meaning of this, Mary?
This is the second time have found a
policeman in the Kitchen" "Lor',
nam! I'm so afraid of the cockroach-
es."-PaH Mall Budget
Ocu1ist presendng bilD-I think your
sight has been improved. Patient
Cooking at bilD-I could have gaen a
thing as big as that before l ever rsouio " :
you.-Philadelphia Inquirer.
NO, George" said the mature but
still lovely maiden to her youthful
adorer, 81 can never be anything more
than a mother to you Your father
spoke first. Chicago Tribune
'sWhere is the pretty girl you were
making love to last summerY" s'Oh,
she's married long ago. "Jilted you,
eh?" ''No, worse than that; she mar
ried me."-Chicago Inter Ocean.
Figg Ito Fogg, who has married n
widow)-"Wonder if you ever remind
your wife of her first husbandf' ST
don't know about that; but she often
reminds me of him. Boston Tran
script.