The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-03-18
MARRIAGE A FLAT failure
Medicine Body Prefers Death to
Welded Life with a Modern Maid.
MARTHA WOULD NOT CHOP WOOD
After a Brief Experience with an Up.to.
Date Squaw the Sioux Warrior Seeks
Happy 0unting Grounds with
the Aid of u Lariat.

Chamberlain, s. d., March ia
tragedy occurred near the mouth of
Willow Creek, which for humor and
touching pathos has yet to be equaled
In the history of this section of coun-
try. Paul Medicine Body, Sioux
warrior, becoming tired of life and dis
gusted with the perfldy of the weaker
sex, attempted suicide at the end of a
rope. and his aged father brought the
instrument of destruction to Fort
Pierre. appealing to the coroner to go
out and sit upon the body of his son,
who. he averred, was much heap dead
-gulp heap" AS there was not sufIi-
cient evidence that the man was dead
however, the coroner declined to go.
On Oct. 20 last Paul Medicine Body
and Martha Head wended their way
happily over the hills and down
through the canons of Bad river to
Fort Pierre They We're to be married
and all the pent-up joy of sizzling love
could he seen spreading itself over their
swarthy features as they realized that
the fruition of their hopes and desires
was soon to be consummated No
more of the aimless life of bachelor
awakenings from long and blissful
dreams of hunting grounds, of fabulous
wealth, to the dull, prosaic necessity
of building fire and cooking break
fast The cobwebs which had accumu-
lated in the apex of his tepee would no
longer impede the blue smoke from his
Wigwam fire as 1t curled heavenward
to be lost in the clear atmosphere of
his beloved Dakota land. He believed
that "as the cord unto the bow is, so Is
woman unto man." Thus sang the joy
Gus Medicine Body, and as he fondly
conjured up scenes of his dutiful wife
patiently cutting the pile of wood, he
thought what noble being was wo-
man! In adversely how comforting.
and in prosperity how lovable! Medi-
cine Body was given much to day
dreaming on that eventful October
morning, and the more he dreamed the
faster grew his pace toward the clerk
of the courts office.
Jeffrics Ties the Knot.
Johnson Jeffries, who was then clerk
of the courts, happened to be in a bar
Der shop getting his whiskers trimmed,
found him. He applied for license to
wed the coy maiden, and Mr.. Jeffries,
who always carried one or more of
those necessary documents about him,
forthwith produced one. Medicine
Body, being of a thrifty and economi-
cal turn, then made overtures to the
clerk of the courts, who was also a
justice of the peace, to marry them on
the spot in cnsideration of a cord of dry
ash wood. The bargain was struck,
and there, while the barber occasionally
nicked his customers as he told funny
story, the solemn rites of holy matri-
mony We're performed from the stand
point of a frontier justice of the peace.
Medicine Body and his wife, with
humping hearts and minds full of an
ticipations of joys to come, bestrode
their ponies and set their faces toward
the setting sun. Back over the hills
and through the canons they went to
the ancestral tepee. where they ex-
pected to live long life of unalloyed
happiness together. But Medicine
Body was doomed to be disillusioned.
Martha would not cut the wood nor
yet brush the cobwebs from his tepee,
or do many other things, small in them
selves. but which in the aggregate go
to make up the qualities of a dutiful,
loving helpmate, while her liege lord,
the descendant of a long line Of noted
warriors, sat and smoked his pipe in
peace. So he became morose, sullen,
and would no longer masticate the
more or less savory dishes which
Martha prepared for him, until at last
life became an intolerable burden to
him and he took his trusty lariat and
went hunting for tree. No tree being
in sight, he took the next best thing,
a rafter in a barn, and sought a happy
hunting ground. where women's rights
had not entered its enlightening wedge
and he could follow the traditions of
his race without molestation. His
friends, however, discovered him in
time to save his life. One more argu-
ment on the side of those who claim
that marriage Is a failure