Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-10-24

Truth.
Hoax-Why do you call your hunting
dog Indian? Joax-Because he's al
ways on the scent.-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
He delighted with new play)-Isn't
1t grand? She-Perfectly lovelyl It
must have been made by Worth!-New
York Weekly.
"Jones has a good deal Of money,
hasn't hep "Well, he ought to have"
"How is that?" "He never pays any
Record.
no" said young Spooner, II wasn't
really mad when her father drove mo
from the house; but admit that ! was
put out."-Boston Transcript
Barley is In dreadful trouble"
whats the matter-got into debt?"
mo; that's just the trouble. Nobody'u
trust him, and he can't."-Harper's Ba-
zar.
In judgment now / daily err,
As cycles past me whiri;
gaily call GOOD morning, sir!"
Then find it was girl.
-Pearson's Weekly.
He-Dearest, my whole heart 10 de-
voted to you. She-But how about your
pocketbook? He-Excuse me, but I
was thinking about yours.-Beston
Transcript.
Hello, Jasman, where are you living
now?" "With my wife, OF course"
"And where is your wife livingT "Oh
her father."-Cincin-
natl Enquirer.
"Cleopatra's needle weighs $50 tons
or so 1 have been told" said Harkaway.
"I don't wonder she preferred flirting
to sewing" commented Dawson.-Har-
per's Bazaar.
Hotel Clerk-Sir, the visitor in No. 80
complains that the room Is haunted.
Landlord-Tndeed? Then put down on
his bill, zone ghost, 10 marks. "-Hofer
Stadtanzeiger.
Richard-Wonder IL we can get
drink at this place? William-Don't
know. We can find out by going in,
suppose. Richard-Thanks; don't care
If / do.-Boston Transcript
Weary Watkins-The doctors say we
ought to eat more cereal food. Hungry
Higgins-They is too muck OF the serial
business about our style Of eatin' al
ready.-Indianapolis Journal.
Hello, are you back?' said Squildig
to McSwilligen, as the latter came In
after weeks absence. ''No; I've just
gone," replied McSwilligen, mildly
Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
The melancholy days have come,
When man bewaifs his lot;
The leaves we know too well, will fall;
The price Of coal will not.
Star.
Hoax never saw such an. impudent
policeman as that one. Joax-That's
not surprising. He couldn't be a cop
per without large percentage OF brass
in his on.-Philadelphia Rec.
ord.
Speculator-Is there any money in in
yentions? Manufacturer-Nota as much
as there used to be. The inventors are
getting so smart now that they actually
demand a share Of the profits.-Brook-
Ign Eagle.
There are some cases." said the
young man, Gin which scientists say
that smoking is beneficial" "Um-yes,"
replied the man Of years. cts good
thing for ham, for instance."-Wash-
ington Star.
"What principles are you going to ad-
vocate In the next towns" asked the
campaigner's private secretary. II
dunno. You get the next train there,
and find out what their views are
Washington Star.
Softly-Your trip to the mountains
seems to have benefited you. Bilkins
1T has made different man OF me.
Softly-Is that SO. Then what has be-
come Of the man loaned $40 to, when
you left the city?
When winds do blow, predicting snow
And all is sere and brown;
The festive tramp breaks summer camp
And rambles back to town.
Record.
Punster (to ballet dancer)-You peo-
pie are almost always old. Ballet
Dancer-Yes, and you can take the
word almost out Of the jokes that
you people try to make about us.--Phal-
adelphia Bulletin.
Dudely-Do you think Miss Efderkin
IL serious In her Intentions regarding
me? Chumleigh-You bet do, Dude
ly-Well, say now, honestly, do You
think she means matrimony or adop-
tione Chicago Record.
Lawyer-Have you formed any opin-
ion on this casef Juryman-NO, sir.
"Do you think, after the evidence on
both sides is all In, you would be able
to form any opinion?" ''No, SIR"
"You'll do."-New York Weekly.
Mr.. Well, Willie, has your sis
ter made up her mind to 60 to the con-
cert with me? Willie-Yep. She's
made up her mind, and she's making up
her face now. She'll be down In
minute.-The Great Divide.
Customer-Can't you wait, upon mef
I've been here for nearly an hour. Two
pounds Of liver, please. Butchef Sor-
~, but there's three or four ahead Of
you. Surely you don't want your liver
out Of order.-Boston Herald.
n
why Denver's Houses Arc 80 Fine.
Kate Field, who is out In Denver, 10