The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-09-18
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

The sorrel nag is a horse redish
A dead failure A deceased bank
rupt.
The man who pays as he goes finds
it necessary to stay home good deal.
Syracuse Post.
Mankind may now be divided into
those who ride bicycles, anil those
who dodge them, Puck.
If dropping water wears away the
stone, it is n pity that some of our
statues are made of bronze. Puck.
1t requires considerable genius for
a man to relate his woes and keep his
friends interested. -Atchison Globe.
1t is better to he sure than sorry;
but if we were not so sure Mt times,
we would not be sorry at other times.
Truth.
a Personal Matter: He-"A fellow
called me donkey the other day"
She-"Didn't you feel like kicking
himY-Indianapolis journal.
Give me the gentle woman with fail
Born of her culture which to follow adds
To her enjoyment: put protect me from
Illt tITlllE one WHOSE ldfl Is having IdlS.
Browning, King Co.'S Monthly.
The reason a boy cuts the fringe off
the window-curtains and picks the
paper off the walls and whittles the
mantel- piece is that he is a boy
Truth.
Prudence" What do you think of
my reform?" Abigail-'I don't like
it at all. 1t doesn't interfere with the
rights of enough persons. Comic
Weekly.
How to make the new dress Take
the material for two skirts and mako
the sleeves, then take the material for
one sleeve aud make the skirt. Nash
vile American.
Boarder lat summer hotel --"How
is it you don't supply soap?" Pro-
prietor-'I found the guests were
using it to make the windows slide up
and down. Judge.
"Some people" remarked thu can
nibal chief, as he passed his plate for
a second supply, 'have mission in
life, while others only have IL mission
airy. Chicago Times Herald.
Wigglos-"W What's the matter with
you, old mani" Waggles -"Oh, sew
eral things" Wiggles -"Well, get
engaged to one of them, aud then let
the rest alone" - Somervillo journal.
Cheer up. cheer up, each misaulhropc,
Aud gather round together;
Though "hard times fail Us ~ q cry.
Lets talk about the weather
Washington Star
Dukane-."So young TimberwheeI
has succumbed to Cupid and married
the ugly Miss Roxgalore." Gaswell-
'Hou mean he has succumbe1 to Gu.
pidity. "-Pittsburg Chronicle-Tele-
graph.
Mr.. Gusher IA would-be suitor)-
"What lovely teeth Miss SmiIer has,
old MANI" Mr. Forceps-"H'm, cr
really -modesty forbids my ex-
pressing an opinion, you know. -
New York Herald.
Teacher-"W "Well, Tommy, you wers
not present yesterday. We're you de.
tanned at home in consequence Of tho
inclomency OF the weather." Tommy
mo, ma am; conldn't come cause
of the rain, "--Tid.Bits.
"Talk about those .horseless vehi.
cles, said Uncle 81, 81 seen 'en-Laag
ago. "Why. pal" begs
Mandy. "Oh, but | did. t..sAesw
remember the ole OK cart we rode to
our weddin' in?"-Indianapolis Jour,
nal.
"When a mans othes are too
loose, " says the Manayunk philoso-
pher, "there are two ways OF remedy
ing the evil. One is to take them
back to the tailor. Another is to get
n new boarding house. '-Philudel
phia Record.
Figg-"It's mighty good thing to
have retentiye memory. Fogg-
That depends. Il the memory IL
yours, it is mighty good thug, as
you say; bnt if it happens to be the
property of your wife, that's another
matter. boston Transcript.
Irene-"Isu'ti it curious how inno-
cent George Ferguesoa is? They say
he never kissed anybo ly in his life
and doesn't know how TO kiss
itl He has that is, he-why, l
should think he would know how by
this time. Chicago Tribune.
SAY said the city editor, 1T
seems to me that thii expression ot
yours about showing clean pair a.:
heels is not just ths thug in the re,
port.of bicycle race, "All right"
answered the lazy reporter. "Just
stick in w aud make it clean pair
Of wheels. - Cincinnati Tribune
Young Tutter Miss Carr, Sun.
pose that tomorrow evening I shouI
call again, and having nervtl myself
up to 1t, suddenly whilo W. were cJn.
yersing, + should, without word,
throw my arms uruuuJ your nee, and
deliberately kiss you what wollI yoa
do?' Miss PinSerly -"O5, Mr., Tat.
ter, don ask me to look 50 iur ahead"
brooklyn Life.