The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-07-23

SF "
The Major is Leading a Quiet Life-Prae-
ticing on Some Campaign Speeches.
B.-"Hello! Mr.. Editor"
R.-"Hellol Mr.. Bilkins. Hope it is
warm enough for you"
Bob! it will do. I amt use ter
cool weather nohow. Betsy makes it
hot fer me the year round. Butt have
been leadin' a quiet life fer a week I
sent Betsy up ter Mt. Airy ter visit her
sister an I've had the house ter myself.
I feel sorter like q Teller whut has jest
got out ov prison. I've bin putin in
my time practisin' on some stump
speeches which I expect ter make in
case I'm nomernated fer any offs on
the dymakrat ticket next year frum
Kongress down, an I'm sure that light
MIN will strike me sumwhere before
the summer il owe I'm goin' ter put
In gum powerful blows fer Kongress or
Governor, but if that misses fire I'll
run fer the legislature, OIL anything
else In Site"
R.-"Seems to me that a speech pre-
pared now may be out of date next
year. If you make a speech now in
favor of ~bimetallism and the party
goes for the single standard next year
it will be awkward for you, and vice
versa"
B.-"OhI that won't make any diff
ference. By strikin' out an addin' in
a few wurds I can make things fit. I'm
fer the gold standard now. I'll tell ov
its great an many advantages, If the
party decides ter go the other way I'll
jist change ter bimetallism an tell ov
the thousand an one advantages ov
hsvin' two kinds ov muney an plenty
ov it. You can't lose your Uncle Zeke.
I'm a p~lutocrat ov p~lutocrats, a dyma-
KRAFT ov dymakrats. Rite or wrong,
sink or swim, I'm a dymakrat. I'm
fer Grover Cleveland fer King, no mat
ter if he makes slaves out ov us awl. 1
wouldn't give a cent fer a man whut
wouldn't rather be a slave than q free
man providin' Grover il in the chair.
I'll give you a few extracts frum my
speech I've bin practicin' on since
Betsy left. 1t begins this way: Ladies
an gentlemen, an feller dymakrats: 1
appear before you in the interest CIV
the guide ole dymakrat party, the
party that Cleveland has made notori
GUS the wurld over. The dymakrat
party IL the poor mans friend. In the
last two or three years it has sold a
hundred million dollars wurth ov bonds
so the poor man could invest his money
safely. Poor Mr.. Rothschilds invested
most of hiz savings in this way. Then,
if he hadn't bin fer the dymakrat party
the country would have been flooded
with silver money. You can't imagine
whut an awful thing it would De ter
food the country with silver. Awlthe
factories would start up, an maybe
they couldn't git hands enough to wurk.
Railroad travel would increase so the
roads would hev hard time gittin' cars
enuf. Trade would increase so the
merchants would be purity nigh wurked
ter death. The price ov wheat, corn,
cotton, tobacco, wool an everything
would go up an the farmers would hev
plenty ov money an would be bothered
ter death erbout keepin' it safe. Deliver
US frum SIGH a calamity. Ter top awl
Ov this the people could pay their debts
an then the poor banks an money
lenders wouldn't have so much income.
Friends, beware ov this silver craze.
Now you see whuC my platform liz goin'
ter be, providin' the party don't decide
that the other way il the best way.
GUIDE bye"