Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1895-04-12
gentleman, but tho circumstance
require forgetfulness If self"

1
require fOrgetfulness If SELF"
With wonder the party broke uI
to meet next morning. What has
D. eptauK discovered that will
hit this awfulpall? was the thought
of the three afflicted men as they
YEARLY toddled home. Could the
world ever come right again?
Meanwhile the shades OF night
had fallen, the hours crept on
apdce, but Mr.. Deeptank thou ght
not IF home. He had IA mission
to perform, and, thought sitting
up until 9 a. N. was nothing 10
him, sitting up without grOg was
decide dIy unpleasant. Nevertheless
he fought the battle and won the
1ght. Faithfully he refrained from
nIghtcaps, and when the hour OF
8 arrived he heaved mighty,
sigh, buttOned his coat and made
a line for home. When within
sight of his domicile, he put on as
natural a jay gait as one would
wish TO see. He knew Mrs. Deep
tank had often lold him she could
see hlm staggering along, as she
put it, aud now she should have
a chance to see hin stagger.
Too bad to deceive the wife OF
ones BOSOM" muttered the victim
Of los atty. "ToO bad, but iIs a good
cauSr," and then he cegAn to as
cend the steps with IN imitation
Of profound alcoholism as realistic
in its effect as any genuine Deep
tank Jay ever was. The keynote
was finally found, and DeeDtank
began to have hlstrlOnic asplra-
tons. There was no one as yet TO
appreciate his billtles as al actor
but within himself he felt that
elatiDn which great actors say is
tho highest rev ard of the art.
Derptank was the last to arrive
the next day at the meeting place.
He took bis whisky plain. as usual
but about his eyes was an unusual
twinkle. and IN his hand he cal
ried small round wooden box.
&C .ntleman," he bAgan in bis
suave, apOlOgetic voice, 81 have
made a discovery. a deep con
spiracy has been laid by our
Wives-pardon me, gentlemen, but
hear me-a deep conspiracy, | say,
has been hatchrd to break down
the customs of our friendship, to
destroy our pleasure in lite. AS
you know, | had theory yesterday.
Ih t theory today is a fact, Last
night 1 saw those SHINY spots
like devils eyes, but | vas perfect
ly sure of my senses-parGon me
agaiu, gentleman-and called upon
my better half for an explanation.
She could see nothing, of course
but alter my sufferlngs, gentleman
| was not to be put off that way,
and as result | hold in my hand
the solution OF the mystery. My
wife confessed 10 the whole plot
when she discovered | vas not
er.-under the influence. The spots
were made by sprinkliug pbosp
hOrescent powder on the floor. The
pow der is not made to rival the
Kelley cure, but for the destruc-
ton of the bedbug. Here is the
box, beating It's own inscription
Silently the box was passed tC
General SOake. He adjusted his
glasses, read tho label, aud in
tones loud and clear yelled, "Wai.
ter, my usual decOctiou!"
b, the time the dark was
brought Colonel Jagson had per
sued the colOred Inscription, sniffet
at the contents of the box ant
accepted the explanation, aud he
demanded of the waiter why hls
usual drink was not there.
Then Major Evertnll tumble d
into line. Tue toast was drunk in
silence, hut the eyes of three of
the party were turned With thAuk
fdlness To the hero who had male
life again worth living.
That night Mrs. JLgson realized
that the surest way to have a
secret kept is not 20 tell it to one
dearest friend. bat the O.d GIard
is happy and never speaks o
phosphorus.-N. Y. Sun.
Knew too Much for his own Good
"Mr. s narte," said the head o
tba Arm, al honnaua1 IN ovariau 4