The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-03-02

unspeallable thing about it is that I've
got to write it." He laughed bitterly.
Il, Charles Backcrton Salcmaker-moi
qui vous parle-have got write a
fashion article for women. Think of it
Picture it,"
why don't you protest?'
Protest? What else do you think
I've been doing at the office except pro-
testing? Heaven knows l don't mind
work. | give them plenty for their
money. | write the politics, the art
and the nursery notes, and other things
besides, ana I've never complained. /
told you that l did eight columns a
week. That was a lie. | wrote
eleven then, and / have just had two
more put onto me. The Height of
Fashion makes the thirteenth. | lied
to you because l was ashamed to say
how much l did. l had high princi-
pies once, but Home Happiness has
about done for them. You see, pub
fishers won't send us books for review
say they've never heard of us. Thea
| ter managers won't send US tickets.
What's the consequence? | review
books I've never read, and criticise
plays I've never seen; l always notice
them favOrably, ana so I've never been
found out. Last night | wrote an
obituary Of man who isn't dead, and
some Genuine Experiences of a De-
tective, which | never was. But that
was honesty itself compared with what
the editor wants now Besides" he
added, more quietly and rehectively.
ut will be a very difficult thing to
write that article without being bowled
out"
| said that the subject was probably
much easier than was generally sup
posed. | had known some girls who
appeared to be singularly, impressively
stupid, and yet they thoroughly under
stood fashions.
''Ah, yes" he said; at Is not so much
a question Of brains as a question of in
stinct. All women have the instinct.
You think the subject easy? I'll guar
antee you don't even understand the
elements of it, the mere question of
structure, letting alone ornamentation.
Here's thing which may happen any
day. and I've seen it myself The top
half of a woman's dress has two rows
of buttons and button holes; one row is
genuine, practical and works: the other
row is pure fake just put on out of
eNubcrance. Can you tell me which is
which? No, you can't, and / can't, but
girl of twelve could without looking.
Then there are dresses which can never
be nut on at all-at least. one would
say 50 If there wasn't q woman inside
them. How did the woman get there
The only possible explanation is that
| she was melted down, poured in through
the collar and allowed to set. I say
that it is the only possible explanation,
but / am perfectly well aware that 1t Is
not the right one. And you can't tell
me the right one. | don't know and
can't find out the bare elements of the
subject"
"Then why didn't you tell the editor
so?"
81 did," said Shoemaker, pacing ex-
citedly up and down the room. Hes
| n married man, and has got two sisters
into the bargain to my certain knowl-
| edge. He lives in the atmosphere of It.
He would only have to leave the women
in n room together. and nature would
do the rest. They would begin to talk
clothes, and he could have his clerk
| at the keyhole to take II all down I'm
| shorthand. That would give him some
thing to go upon. AS for me, / have
not got one living female relation
However, he wouldn't hear Of doing IL