The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1895-10-23
Clippings from Exchanges.


Little Girl" That's queer. And she's
lady cat, too, isn't she?"
The melancholy days have come,
So runs the mournful ditty,
| When shirt waists cease to give the girls
A garb that's cheap and pretty.
NERVES ON EDGE.-"I was nervous,
tired, irritable and cross. Karl's Clover
Root Tea has made me well and happy"
Mrs. E. B. Worden. For sale by W. e.
Terrill e. Co., Montpelier, Vt.
FIRST TRAMP" Did the woman up
on the hill give you any encourage
ment?" Second tramp" She invited
me TO go to chop house." "Where
you could eat?" mo; where l could
chop wood"
CUSTOMER" Can't you wait upon
me? rve been here for nearly an
hour. Two pounds of liver, please"
Butcher" Sorry, but there're three or
four ahead of you. Surely you don't
want your liver out of orderl"
MRS, CRIMsoNBEAK.-"W We are to
have thirteen at dinner to-day; and I'm
superstitious enough TO think that some
one will die" Mr.. Crimsonbeak-
Why, dear, l didn't know you were
going to do your own cooking"
WHAT is the matter, 'Rastus? You
look angry" 81 is, sub, l is. Dat
Urinary Colonel Peppergrass done called
me a niggah, subj" Well, 'Rastus,
what are you?" 81 is q niggah, sub,
an OATS what done make me 80 mad L,
suh."
YOUNG man." said the merchant,
edo you want employment in my es-
tablish nent?" Certainly" was the
applicants reply. "Thars all right,
them" was the rejoinder, with sigh of
relief; " was afraid you just wanted a
position
A BABY's LIFE SAVED" My baby
had Group, and was saved by Shiloh's
Cure" writes Mrs. j. B. Martin of
Huntsville, Ala. For sale by W. E.
Terrill & Co., Montpelier, Vt.
A JOB FOR HIM.-The Foreman
cts goin' to hustle us to get the paper
out this week. Slug is bilin' drunk,
and he'll stay thataway for the next
three or four days" Editor of the
Phnkuille Bugle-" Amt he fit to
work?' ooh, he's willing, but he can't
tell one box from another" "Turn
him loose on that Scotch dialect story.
Nobody will know the difference"
IHAvE before me letter from a
Partisan friend, a gentleman of some
literary note in his own country, who
informs me that he is learning English
by the aid of a small textbook and a
dictionary, without any other instructor;
and he adds: I" In small time | can
learn so many English as think | will
come at the America and go on the
scaffold to lecture"
PROFESSOR A" Do you know,
find it difficult to remember the ages Of
my children!" Professor B." have
no such trouble. l was born 2,30(
years after Socrates; my wife 500
years after the death of Tiberius Caesar
our son John, 2 900 years after the en-
trance into Rome of Titus Semproniu'
Gracious for the re-enactment of thu
'leges Liciuia,' and our Amanda
1900 years after the beginning of thu
Folk-wandering. That is perfect,
simple, you see."
A GREAT GERMANS PRESCRIPTION
Diseased blood, constipation, an(
kidney, liver and bowel troubles ar,
| l. "
sale by w. E. Terrill & Co., Mont
pelier Vt.
Mr.. KNEER (who is reading maya
zine article)-" They must have hat
some pretty tough times in Richmond
during the war. This author says tina
boots cost $3.50 pair, blankets 5000,
good horse $500, cow $3.50, coffee $2
pound, tea 800, and" Mrs
Kneer-" What did bonnets cost?'
Mr.. Kneer-" Let me see. 'M-Yes
here it is: "A plain black velvet bon
net sold for $175." Mrs. Kneer-
"And yet you made an awful fus
when l wanted to buy bonnet tn
other day for only $3S!'
THE WEST AHEAD.-Eastern Man
"The Boosting of you Westerner
makes me tired. When you cut u
your quarter sections into town lots
and sold 'em at high price, it was t
the East that you looked for buyers
wasn't it?" Western Man" JUS 30. !
"Then it was Eastern capital that pu
money into your pockets, wasn't it?
"Of course" "Then what have yo
to brag of 2" "We brag of our smart
ness in keepin' that money in our poch
cts instead of buyin' back the lots a
half price when you eastern capitalist
wanted to SELL"
A SAGE CoNCLUsION.-"J John, )" salt
the explorers wife, "don't you thin
you had better be making preparation
to find the North Pole?" "No," b
replied, "I'm willing to do my duty
but Pm not going TO oVerdo it. l didn
! lose the North Pole In tho irst ylooa
" But the public expects you to go o.
in your efforts" "No, it doesn't. l
anybody'll come and convince me tina
he needs the North Pole in his busi
ness or that the North Pole would il
anyway contribute to his domesti
happiness, I'll go and find it for him
Aud that's as fair as any man could say.
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