The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1895-11-14
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Dean Hole tells of an old-fashioned
cathedral verger, lord of the ~aisles,"
who, one noon, found a pious visitor
on his knees in the sacred building.
The verger fastened up to him n
said, in a tone of indignant excite
ment:"The services at this cathedral
are at 10 in the morning and at A In
the afternoon, and we don't have any
fancy prayers"
The late Sir John A. Macdonald was
once at a reception, and a bishop from
Belgium was present. AS the party
were being escorted by a body of men
in Highland costume, the foreign bish-
op, seeing the bare legs and kits,
asked why these men were without
trousers. Its just a local custom"
gravely replied Sir John; ''in some
places people take off their hats as a
mark of honor to distinguished guests;
here they take off their trousers"
At one time the Duke of yelling
tons extreme popularity was rather
embarrassing. For instance, n leav-
ing home each day, he was always
intercepted by an affectionate mob,
who insisted on hosting him on their
shoulders and asking where they
should carry him. 1t was not always
convenient for him to say where he
was going, so he used to say, Garry
me home; carry me home;' and so he
used to be brought home half q dozen
times a day a few minutes after leay-
ing his own door.
Suzanne Lazier was a good actress,
but extremely stout. She was one
night %enacting a part in a melodrama
with Taillade, the original Pierre of
"The Two Orphans" and this actor
had at one moment to carry her faint
ing off the stage. lie tried with all
his might to lift the 'feshy'' heroine,
but, although she helped her little
cOmrade by standing on tiptoe, in the
usual manner, he was unable to move
her an inch. AT this juncture one Of
the deities cried from the gallery:
Take what you can nc come back
for the rest"
The lectures of a certain Oxford
tutor were once reported to be "cut
and dried" yes said Prof. Fl. j.
Smith, the witty mathematician,
dried by the tutor and cut by the
men" A dispute arose at an Oxford
dinner table as to the comparative pres
tige of bishops and judges. The argu-
ment, as might be expected at a party
of laymen, went in favor of the latter.
NO" said Henry Smith, 'for a judge
can only say, Hang YOU but a bishop
can say On you" Speaking of an
eminent scientific man, to whom he
uo Va nonSi1nrn h1n rroion bo co;I.
"Yet he sometimes forgets hat he is
only the editor, and not the author of
Nature"
A country minister, in n certain
town, took permanent leave of his con
gregation in the following pathetic
manner: "Brothers end sisters, |
come to say goodbye. l don't think
God loves this church, because none of
you ever die. l don't think you love
each other, because l never marry any
Of o l don't think you love me, be-
cause you have not paid my salary.
Your donations are moldy fruit and
wormy apples, and by their fruits We
shal know Them Brothers, l am 60
ing away to "A better place. | have
been called to be chaplain of a peni.
tertiary. Where l go We cannot come,
but l go to prepare a place for you,
and may the Lord have mercy IN your
souls. Goodbye
Bishop Simpson preached some years
ago in the Memorial hall, London. Fol
half an hour he spoke quietly, without
gesticulation or uplifting of his voice,
then, picturing the Son of God bearing
our sins in his own body on the tree
he stopped, as if laden with an i'm.
measurable burden and, rising to his
full height, he seemed to throw it from
him, crying: How far? AS far as the
EAST Is from the west. SO far hath he
removed our transgressions from u.s.
The whole assembly, as if moved by
Rn irresistible impulse, rose, remained
standing for a second or two, theI
sank back into their seats. A profess
or of elocution was there. A FRIEND
who observed him and knew that III
had come to criticise, asked him, wheI
the service was over: well, what d,
you think of the doctors elocution?'
"E%locution?" said he; that MAJ
doesn' want elocution; he's got TIL,
Holy GhOSt.'
The Scotch Arcl bishop Foreman iii
the sixteenth century, was so poor ;
Latln ScnOlar ina Wnon he wa,
obliged to visit Rome, he found grea
difficulty in conforming to some of III,
customs of the pope's table, to whicl
he was invited. Etiquette required
hat the Scotch bishop should tax,
part in uttering a Latin benedictiol
over the repast. and the iIliterate CUES
had carefully committed to memor,
what he believed to be the orthodo!
form of words. He began with hi
"B~enedicite,' expecting the cardinal
TO respond with "Dominus," but the,
replying Deus" Gtalian fashion, s.
confused he good bishop that he for
got his carefully-conned phrases. and
lin good, broad Scotch said: "To til
devil | give you all. false cardinals,
TO which devout aspiration pope an,
cardinals (whO understood only thei
own language piously replied
amen"
tured women who are always wanting
to make other people comfortable
She happened to be in the railway sta
ton the other day. says the Washing
Ion Post, when a man she knew cam
in. He said he was going to Pitts
burg. Mrs. b, whose husband is
director of the read, knew the conduct
Dr. of the Pittsburg train, who passe,
through the waiting room just ther
Mrs. B called to him. Conduct
pr she said, this is my eSpecia