The record-union., 1895-09-21

is made up of forms which may seem
tedious. l am afraid l must ask you
where you were born" son the
ocean," "Wh-what? On the-o-cean, did
you say? | cannot take that as an an
swer. L mean L fear you are trifiing with
me-" 1T is the only reply you will get.
Here is my passport. Ii that IS not
enough, then you must rest satisfied with
my supplementary answers" "Are you
married? ?" "Yes." "What is your wife's
Christian name?" Hope" "What?"
"Hope.D "That is surely not a name? l
mean not a woman's Christian name.
| There is no saint of that name. TO my
/ knowledge?'' Then my wife has a
chance of becoming the first" How
old is your wiie?" "You must ask
her that question. She would
think me very impertinent if came
TO this country and conhded her
secret to strangers" What are your
81 refuse to say" But you have no
right to refuse. You must answer my
questions. 1t is my duty to I'LL up this
! printed form, and unless you supply me
with the facts, | cannot. What is your
religion?" Now, look here, have spent
an age in this d dreary place, and one
/ by one L have been throwing over all my
engagements. Yes, l answered all your
questions relating TO myself What is
more, | admitted the charge against me
from the very beginning. And now it
will need the greatest dispatch to catch
my train and get TO Hungary, if you keep
me here much longer; and to-day is Sat-
urday. o-morrOw l can transact no
business. L implore you to let me go. L
will pay any fine 10 which L am liable,
but must decline to discuss theological
! problems with police officer" You
! imagine that because l serve his majesty
| in the police l have no idea of theology?
/ Y ou are greatly mistaken. L know much
about High Church and Low Church, and
other sects of Professionalism. Are you
! High church," II refuse to answer. be-
/ cause it would take a considerable time
! to make 1t quite clear to you what my
/ theological views really are. Besides. 1t
would be ludicrous. If it were not dlsas-
! trous, to think that, while l am fretting
and fumlng here, anxious to do anything
and everything in reason so as to be al
! lowed to go and catch my train, police
officer should be endeavoring 10 draw me
out on theology?"
The examination, however, drew its
slow length along for another hour, the
religious question being discussed with
great animus, and in detail, but TO no
practical purpose, for the prisoner refused
to name his church. The train started at
least good hour" before the protocol
was finished, signed, sealed, stamped and
SduO6O, anu hungary Ulu uOL D6IlOlQ budt
| tourist on that day nor the next 1he up
shot of it all was that the Englishman in
hurry was condemned 10 pay fine OF
two florins-a mere trifle in comparison
with the loss occasion by the delay. But
the law, at least, swas scrupulOusly OBJ
served. The same pedantic Journalism
characterZes the Austrian bureaucy in
everything, and one Is never sure that
the most innocent action may not result
IN q hatQrl 81
or Magistrate and the loss of hours or
days.
CURE FOR THE CIGARETTE HABIT.
A foreigner once bought for himself a
number OF cigarettes, about $50, In Aus
tria, and then came to Vienna. Here an
examination of luggage takes place for
the purpose of discovering whether any
eatables, etc., are among the articles con-
veyed-these things pay special tax
which belongs TO the city. His cigarettes
were found, and he was called on to pay
the duty and also a fine ofabout $40. But
they were purchased in Austria" he
pleaded. sit does not matter. They
may have paid duty for all we know, but
unless you can prove that they have paid
duty you must pay it here and the fine
besides" And suppose l pay all that,
can | ever be called on to pay duty again?"
"Yes, if you lose the receipt which we
Will give you, or II you give them to
somebody else without the receipt" ''All
right; PHI pay. for Pm in hurry" But
he had to go into room, sit down and
wait patiently, answer all the usual ques-
tions about names, age. birthplace, wife,
religion, ETC., and by the time he was
allowed to pay the money and go he WAS
weary of life. He had given up smoking
and travelling in Austria.
SEEING LADY OFF.
OF course, Austrians are treated exactly
| in the same way as foreigners, the only
! advantage they possess being a better
| knowledge of the shoals and quicksands
/ of the law. But even this is only relative,
/ as many many native knows to his
cost, Vienna merchant, Herr Liewehr,
! among the numb Der. This gentleman was
seeing a lady off not long ago, at the
/ Western terminus. In order to meet or
see friend off at the railway station in
any part of Austria you must first get q
/ ticket for the platform, and then wait pa
/ tiently in r room until the doors are
/ thrown open, after which each ticket
must be duly punched, and then only is
/ one allowed to enter. Herr LieWehr
! however, fulfilled all the conditions, and
accompanied the lady to the compart-
/ ment in which she took a seat. Here he
| engaged her in conversation, and 1t was
/ only when the third bell sounded that he
! became conscious how quickly time can
! fly. He left the train and turned his steps
! toward the exit, when a railway official
accOsIed him, and informed him that ne
/ must pay a fine ofthree tlorins for having
entered the train without ticket. Herr
! Liewehr said he had never heard of such
a law or bylaw, and that he did not
! think he ought to pay the money, where
! upon, without more ada, the official called
upon the police to do their duty. This
/ reused the merchants ire to the degree of
defiance, and he said he would not endure
| such things at the hands of railway Of
| ficial; that it was impudent and imperti
nent. Herr Liewehr was then taken be-
! lore the Commissary and fined three
/ fiorins for entering the train, and fifteen
! horlns for the too free expression of his
/ opinion. These sums he was compelled
| TO pay then and there, and only when he
had done this was he allowed to leave the
station and reflect upon the unforeseen
miseries of life. But even then his trials
we're not terminated. The payment of
/ eighteen fiorins merely ended the dscip-
/ linary punishments. The unfortunate
man was brought up few days later be-
fore the District Judge to answer to the
charge of having used insulting words to
functionary in the discharge of his
duty. The case having been carefully and
/ fully gone into, as is usual in Austria, the
Judge condemned Herr Liewehr to pay
twenty-five fiorins more. This, it is
hoped, will be the last of the series of
punishments which sprang from seeing
lady off; but one can never tell.
Dangerous Guides In Paris.