davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-06-17
JUST FOR FUN.

great political principles = the nVe
loaves and the two fishes.
The amateur who knows all ABOUT
horse is the chap who thinks ne can
run newspaper better than the eu-
itor.
He-Do you subscribe to the theory
| of evolution? She (the hopeless par
venu)-No. What are the subscrlp-
| ton rates?
Sheridan, once entering commit
tee-room and finding every seat oc-
cupied, said, evil any one move that
L may take the chair?'
''What are you doing on the bureau,
Tommie?'' standing before the look
ing glass; said Tommie; wanted to
see how I'd look if was twins"
'Wen, Johnnie, do you think you
will get any of the prizes in school
this term?" Johnnie-Yes'm; if there
is one for the most blots in the copy
book, I Will"
Mother-Come, Freddy, it is time
for bed. Freddy (wearing his first
trousers) = On, please, mamma, not
yet! I am SO interested watching the
shadow of my legs!
Mrs. Rash-How do you manage to
get your cook up so early? Mrs. Dash
Well, hupted~up young and good
looking milknan and hired him to
come at 5 O'Clock.
A contemporary contains an adver-
tisement of dog for sale. Among
the good points Of the animal are
these: "He will eat anything and is
very fond of children"
A brilliant conversationalist was
told by a lady, "Sir, there is really no
end to your WITT ''Heaven forbid"
replied the humorist, ''that I should
be at my wits end!"
Father impressively) = Suppose I
should be taken away suddenly, what
would become of you, my boy? Irrev-
erent Son-I'd stay here. The ques-
ton is, what would become of you?
Customer-So you sell these watch
es at So each. It must cost that to
make them. Jeweler-It does. Gus
toner Then how do you make any
money? Jeweler- Repairing them.
Father (who has been helping a son
in his school work. = What did the
teacher remark when you showed
him the translation? Johannes-He
said I was getting more stupid every
day.
Fashionable Philanthropy English
man-Why is it you Hamericans copy
the Hinglish? American-We are in
hopes you Englishmen will see how
it looks and get Disguised with your
selves.
II went to Sunday school yester
day." a little girl said to her aunt,
"and the teacher asked me who made
me. SO just told her nobody made
me. wonder if she thought I was a
paper doll!'
When Beau Nash was i'll, the doctor
asked him if he had followed his pre-
scription, ''No, DOCTOR" said Nash.
eff had, I should have broken my
neck; for I threw it out Of the Sec
ond- story window"
Penogolist- Our prisons and peni-
tentiaries are disgrace to civilization.
The convicts are abused, unc2rai for
and poorly fed. Can you suggest
remedy? Philanthropist : Yes; let
them stay our of such places.
Landlady-Wouldy you advise me to
send my daughter to cooking school
or to a music school? Boarder (refiec-
tively)-Well, [ think I'd send her to
a cooking school. It may be more IA
tai in it's results, but it isn't anything
like SO noisy.
Young girl (going through the jaiD
Poor, poor man. May [ offer you
these flowers? Convict from behind
the bars-You have made mistake,
miss. The teller that killed his wife
and children is in the next cell. [ am
here for stealing a loaf Of bread.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-06-17
For Sale.

viii sell on reasonable terms that part OF
my home farm which borders on the road
leading to Bloomington Village; this consists
OF about forty acres of meadow, pasture and
pland, and Is a very desirable piece of proper
ty for anyone living in the village of Barton
Landing, or any one desiring a small farm.
Also, in Sheffield, on the Duck Pond road, q
farm or $50 acres with house and barn on it
which L will sell at very low figures. Call on
or address, JOSEPH BARTLETT,
16tf Barton Landing, VT.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-06-17

In making the announcement of an
addition to his family, country ed
itor says: "Again we seat ourselves
to drop you few lines to let you
know we have a new girl baby at our
house, and hope you are enjoying the
same blessing. We stop the press to
make this announcement, as it has
been thirteen months to a day since
our last bulletin on this subject, and
we have tender regard for your in
terest in the matter. This young lady
made her debut upon the worlds
stage at very early hour this morn
ing as living picture, and did song
and dance to perfection. She has
been permanently engaged as con-
tralto for our quartet. We have
changed our motto so as to read,
what is home without four babies?'
Delinquent subscribers are particular
ly requested to make a note of the
above, and make their remittances
either in cash or anything convertible
into baby food. We will close for
this time. Write soon, and don't for
get to inclose a dollar on account
atlanta Constitution.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-06-17
COMMISSIONERS NOTICE.
Estate of David 7, Colley.

The undersigned, having been appointed
by the Hon. Probate Court for the District of
Orleans, Commissioners. to receive, examine,
and adjust all claims and demands of all per-
sons against the estate of David I. Colley,
late of Bloomington, in said District, 0eceas-
ed, and all claims exhibited in Offset thereto,
hereby give notice that we will meet for the
purposes aforesaid, at the Town Clerks
Office, in said town, on the Goth day of
June and goth day of November next, from
l O'Clock, p. m. until O'Clock, p. m each of
said days, and that six months from the 23rd
day of May, a. d. 1895, is the time limited
by said Court for said creditors to present
their claims to us for examination and allow
ance.
Dated at Bloomington, Vt, this 28rd day of
May, A. D. 1895.
aa.a4 g. g. z. B BENIs0N Commissioners.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-06-17

To make pure blood there is no medicine
before the people equal to Hoods Sarsapa-
ril1a. 1t is the standard spring medicine and
blood purifier and it possesses peculiar merit
which others try in vain to reach. 1t really
makes the weak strong. Do not neglect to
purify your blood this spring. Take Hoods
Sarsaparilla now.
Hoods Pills become the favorite cathartic
with every one who tries them. Csc per box.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-06-17
ONE GOOD MAN WHO DID NOT
RECOGNIZE THE COW.

Several good stories are told of the
divines. Of one popular clergyman,
it is said that when walking on the
street his mind generally is SO thor
oughly fixed upon some subject that
he will pass by his most intimate
friends without the slightest recOgnl-
ton. Once, when in the country,
this minister ran full into COW,
which was calmly chewing her cud by
the way side. Without noticing the
nature of the obstruction, the absent
minded clergyman lifted his hat, and
with bow, said,' 81 beg your pardon"
Upon realizing the righteousness of
his error he made mental resolve
never to commit like blunder again.
Somewhat farther on his ramble,
and while still bordering the same
weighty subject, he approached a
sharp turn in the road, beyond which
he could not obtain sight Of any NOV
ing object. Turning the corner
quickly, he came face to face with
lady, and, before he could check his
speed, nearly knocked the woman
down. Dim recollections of the COW
episode evidently flashed through his
mind, for he said, sharply: GO away,
you dirty beast" What the lady
said is not recorded.
OF another clergyman the tale is
told that he was once riding with a
companion through the woods of
Vermont. For long time not a word
was spoken, as the mind Of the rev
erend gentleman seemed wrapped up
in some matter far from his surround
ings. Suddenly fox darted across
the road directly in front of the horses
head. The clergyman did not see it,
and his companion exclaimed: 'There
goes a fox!' AS if nothing had been
said, the minister continued silent,
still thinking Of the weighty subject
Of his reverie. Fully half an hour
elapsed before he asked quite limo
Gently, ''Where?"-NeaU York World.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1895-06-17

A bowed down and world worried
old man stood at the foot of stately
marble staircase at a house in Palace
Gate. He was quantity dressed; and
his rugged time worn features wore
a curious expression as he gazed
wonderingly upon the splendor of the
West End mansion to which he had
paid visit. For himself, this old
man had been content during more
than forty years with cheap and un-
pretending dwelling in a modest
street, leading off the Thames EN-
bankment atChelsea. Still he gazed at
the marble pavement, at the dado,
and at the white marble columns;
and still his wonder grew, until, turn
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-09-04
IN ANOTHER ROLE
THE NEW WOMAN A SUCCESS
AS A COLLECTOR.
She Takes the Place OF a Street Car Con-
ductor and Gathers In q Whole
Lot of Money.

Bay City, Mich, Sept. 3.-women be-
gan the collecting of fares on the elec-
trio street car lines this morning. The
"new-woman" conductors were the
wives, daughters and women friends
of Masons. who have resorted to this
heroic expedient to raise money. The
women began the collecting OF fares
this morning, and appear to enjoy the
novel experience, reporting no accidents
or unpleasant occurrences. The first
relief took place at IL o'clock. and tho
second occurred at O'Clock this after
noon. Among those OF the crew were
Mrs. Grif Lewis, Mrs. Z. NJ. Sharp and
daughter. Mrs. w. A. Peters and Mrs.
Z. b. Maltby.
The women's ability in gathering
cash fares Is astonishing. A young
woman conductor on the Essexville line
was handed a ticket. THAT don't CO."
said she. smiling. The gentleman sheep
ishly slipped his hand down into his
pocket and drew out silver dollar.
Though ne was alone. she rang three
fares and made change accordingly.
The conductors of the open cars are
compelled to walk the platforms along
the side. A few Of the women do not
experience the least trouble. while 9TH
ers do not gather fares until stop
or "slow down" Is made. Others sit
beside the passengers while making
change.
Transfers Of tickets are seldom made.
The new conductors will gather more
cash fares than was ever known to
have been taken upon a street railway.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-09-04
SHE'S ON THE STAGE
THE FAIR ZELLA BEHIND THE
FOOTLICHTS.
Her Old Flame, George Gould
He'll Retallate.

Philadelphia. Sept. 3.-At last the fair
Zella Nicolaus has accomplished her
dream. She made her first appearance
on the stage as a star of the Lyceum
theater, in the Golden Age" Tuesday
afternoon. She had but little dialogue
to master. and one short poem To re-
peat. Her voice Is sweet and melo-
dious. but nervousness prevented her
from making fun use OF II.
The theater was packed 10 the doors,
and she was the recipient OF many
handsome floral designs. Her stage cos
tune was In excellent taste. II was OF
rich corise silk. trimmed with cream
chiffon. with a hat to match. While
she will never startle the world on the
stage, whatever she may do when her
numerous suits against Millionaire
Gould come up for trial, she is far
above the average burlesque actress In
ability.
She already has two suits against
Gould. and now says she will supple
ment them with third action. She Is
smartlng under the remarks OF Gould.
who spoke of her as a blackmailer and
adventures. and said: THE second
suit was for assault. I shall instruct
my attorney TO at once bring an action
for defamation OF character We will
see which OF us is right. IL any further
continuance is asked when the c-se Is
called in September | shall ask for a
change OF venue. Mr.. Gould has no
excuse for postponement."
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-09-04
FIRST ON RECORD
LASSIES OF THE SALVATION
ARMY AS CAvALRYWoMEN.
They Make q Striking Appearance and
VIII Tour the State of Colorado
In Their Unique Costume.

Denver, Sept. 3.-The Salvation Army
Of Denver has organized a cavalry
corps Of young ladies. Brigadier-Gen-
eral French OF st. Louis was present to
assist In the dedication Of the new
branch Of the service and the First
Baptist church was hardly large
enough to accommodate the crowds
who came out to hear him and the cav
alrywomen.
The new corps Is under the leadership
OF STAN Captain Blanche Coxe and the
other ladies In IL are Captain Harman.
Lieutenant Dunton. Lieutenant Ander-
son. Captain Blackiedge and Cadet
staunton. They present striking ap-
pearance In their uniforms Of dark blue
skirts. regulation red waists, with wide
rolling collars. and regulation bonnets.
The corps enjoys the distinction Of be-
ing the only mounted Salvation Army
fighters In the world. II starts out I'M
mediately for a tour OF the mountain
towns.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-09-04
WHAT FRAKER SAYS
He Tells How He Fell Into the River
and Fell Out Again.
AND SCHNELL WAS HIS NAME
He Thinks One OF His Companions
Gave Him Away-However. He
Is Glad to Get Back Again
and Face the Charge.

Kansas City. Sept. 3.-Dr. George W,
Fraker, the insurance swindler, passed
through here this afternoon. To a re-
porter. who met the train in Iowa. the
doctor talked freely. His answers to
questions. however, were given in an
absent-minded way, Il did fall into
the river the night we were fishing"
he said. "and came very near being
drowned. However. there was drift
wood floating In the stream and l
caught log and fioated down the river
for a considerable distance. Finally |
found place whore l could touch
bottom, and waded out on the land.
l laid there all that night and all the
back to the Springs. and accordingly |
came to Kansas City. Because OF my
appearance I went to a cheap rooming
house on Grand avenue. l stayed there
four days. On the second day shaved
OFF my beard. Then I went to Chicago.
From Chicago went to Milwaukee and
stayed most Of the fall OF that year.
By that time the name OF Fraker had
been too much advertised, and told a
room mate from Denver that my name
was William Schnell. | went by the
name OF Schnell from that time on. l
lived In Wisconsin and Minnesota ever
since. l stayed most of the time In
towns. went from one place to anoth-
er. No. l won't tell you what towns
we visited. I had not decided to stay
away until the papers said all kinds OF
things about me. Then | knew ] was
in disgrace and could not make liv-
ing IL / came back. have wanted TO
come back a thousand times and came
near coming. but the disgrace and what
the people were saying about me kept
me from doing so. This living death is
horrible. and l am glad 1 am going
back"
DR.. Fraker carefully avoided answer
ing questions intended to reveal his
means Of existence. Finally. when the
question: who gave you away TO
the insurance companies and furnished
the information that led to your ar
rest?" was bluntly asked, the doctor
started suddenly and said: II think it
was George Harvey. one OF the men
who went fishing with me. l wrote him
from Wisconsin last winter. told him
about a young man, whose name / will
not mention. who was very kind to me
when was sick. / told him the young
mans name. and. I think. he wrote TO
him and got my address after | moved
into Minnesota"
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-09-04
COPPINCER'S SCHEME
How His Trip TO JacksOn's Hole Has
Affected Him.
STANDS IN WITH THE REDS
He Thinks II Would Be a Good
Plan to Annex the Hole Coun-
try to tho Yellowstone
National Park.

Washington, Sept. 3.-General Cop
plnger, who had command Of the recent
military expedition to the Jackson Hole
country. to-day had n conference with
Secretary Lamont. to which Commls-
sloner OF Indian Affairs Browning was
Invited
II do not consider the Indians were
TO blame for the Jackson Hole affair"
said General Coppnger at the conclu-
sion OF the conference. They are en-
tirely quiet now. and have been. In
fact. they would not say boo to a
goose"
ono question which the general
brought TO the attention Of Secretary
Lamont and Commissioner Browning
was the advlsabllity OF annexlng the
Jackson Hole country to the Yellow
stone National park. He suggested that
the action would solve the problem by
preventing all parties from hunting and
fishing In that section. and said. as the
country was not densely settled. there
would he comparatively little difficulty
In making the change.
Mr.. browning said that, in the first
place, It would be a matter for Secre-
tary Smith and then for congress, add
ing he did not know how the people OF
Wyoming would regard II, as II would
deprive that state Of the territory.
General Coppinger's report on the In
dian trouble has been turned over to
Secretary Lamont. The general de-
clined to say whether he had made any
recommendation FOR the continuance OF
troops In the Jackson Hole country, or
for the punishment OF the participants
in the trouble.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-09-04
ON THE TRACK.


New York Sept. s-Therc were plen-
ty OF upsets in the racing at Sleeps
head Bay to-day and many good
thing fell through. The best finish
was in the second race. when sun Up.
tho first choice. and Manchester. the
outsider. against whom big odds were
laid by n few people. had a drive
through the stretch. and the latter won
by head. Reiff made his first appear
ance In some time on sun Up. In the
Flight stakes Dorian was prohibitive
favorite and won easily, while Relff
managed to land the dcspised Helen
Nichols In second place. The finish In
the opening race was close. for four 2
year-olds were less than n length apart
altogether. Falling Water won by a
short margin. while Prince Lief. Mar
sian and Marquis were only heads
apart behind him. In the fourth race
Pepper was strong favorite but
Chorn rode him all over the track. fin-
ishing third. Red Skin ran well. win.
ming easily from Saragossa. Waltzes
was the favorte for the nth race. At
the fall OF the nag Buckrene took the
lead and held It to the last furlong.
when Leonawell shot out Of the bunch
and won easily with Walter second
and Buckrene third.
Mr.. Belmont said to-day In regard to
the proposed thrce-corncred match be.
tween Henry OF Navarro. Domino and
clifford. that he is willing to take Hen
ry OF Navarro out of the stable for
three races at any amount each. the as
ISOLATION to add any amount they like.
but one mills was the shortest he would
enter and there must be but one race
at that distance. He did not think II
was any test for i-year-olds to run
them In sprint races.
Five furlongs-Falllng Water won.
Prince Lief second, Marsian third;
time. i:0s l-5. Mile-Manchester won.
Sun Up second. Gutta Percha third:
time. lii As. Flight stakes. seven fur
longs-Dorlan won. Helen Nichols Sec
ond. Matt Byrnes third: time. i:27 2-a
Mile and a furlong-Red skin won,
Saragossa second. Pepper third; time,
$50 80. Six furlongs-Leonawell won.
Walter second. Buckrene third: time,
ia is. Mile on turf-Harrington
won. Chesapeake second. Adelbert
third: time. li2 i-j.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-09-04
FROM THE WILD WEST.
Montana Steers In Chicago Give u Free
and Exciting Exhibition.

Chicago. Sept. s.-Twenty-five Mon
ttana steers purchased at the stock
yards, while being driven to the Cud-
ahy packing house last evening. got
away from the drivers. and for two
hours created excitement in the resi-
dence district. At Halstead street a
dozen of them charged an electric car.
The passengers saw them coming and
as many as possible jumped or and
took to the houses close by. They
then attacked the police station Lieu
tenants Keliher and Fitzpatrick with
several officers mounted a patrol wag-
on and, taking rifles. started in pur-
suit. At Union avenue and 47th street
n big yellow steer was tearing up the
soil In view of hundreds. who enjoyed
the scene from nelghboring windows.
Lieutenant Keliher fired two shots into
his body and he jumped into the air
and dropped dead. Then the officers
with a number of men started after
the other members of the herd, and
they were soon rounded up.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-09-04
They Played "Hali Columbia

Berlin. Sept. IA commers' night IN
honor OF the German-American veter-
ans was made the occasion for the
gathering Of the many comrades Of the
late war The Buggenhagen garden
was brilliantly illuminated and deco
rated with flags and a military band
played selections. The president OF
the military association delivered an
oratlon and its conclusion called for
cheers for the emperor. The vice pres
idcnt toasted the visiting American
veterans and their wives. and the band
played Hail Columbia" and a num-
ber OF battle pieces and patriotic airs.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-09-04
Livingston Downs Miles.

Special Dispatch to tn. standard
Livingston. Mont, Sept. 3-The best ex-
hbltlon OF ball playing given here this
season was witnessed here this afternoon
when Livingston met and vauqushed
Miles City by score OF l6 20 u. II was
an interesting contest throughout, and In
the second inning, when the homo team
made eight runs. beating the opposing
team by a score OF / tally, the hundreds
OF spectators We're perfectly Wild uni
sent up cheer after cheer. Al the eni OF
the sixth inning the score stood y and 4,
and the excitement ran high. The vls-
itors failed to score IN the seventh. The
horse team closed he seventh inning with
three runs. sandy" Martin. LlVingston's
centcr-hcld. distinguished himself by his
splendid field work. freezing onto every
hy that came anywhere near him. Butler
made two earned home runs and was
cheered TO the echo. The visitors played
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-09-04
BUTTE is AHEAD.
Talon and Freethey Out Drill the Cripple
Creek Boys.

Special Dispatch TO the Standard.
Cripple Creek. Colo, Sept. 3.-The
Montana boys are on the top Of the
heap and all Cripple Creek Is shouting
Itself hOarse over the victory OF the
northerners in the drilling contest here
to-day. Freethey and Talon OF Butte.
drilled 3515-i6 inches. Dwyer and
o'Neill S3h; Burns and Campbell of
Butte. 32. and Horn and Mcneil. sos.
The first prize was $500 and second $3.50.
In the upper singles J. Fl. Manning
won first money OF 800. with III
inches. and his half brother. william
Lam. second. of $50. with a Q 15-fs-inch
hole. In the boys contest for SIS. Joe
Kinds and Fred James OF Anaconda.
won the money and drilled 10N inches
in 10 minutes. The Butte team will re-
main here several days. and another
match is being worked up for a purse
OF 81 900.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-09-04
BOTH MAY DIE.
Two Bicyciists Fall From Tandem and
Fracture Their sSulls.

San Francisco. Sept. IA bicycle ac-
cident In Golden Gate park to-day will
result in the death Of one and probably
two cyclists. Miss Marian Hall took
her first ride on Sunday on a tandem.
Desiring to take a practice spin to-day,
she engaged George Mcleod. the pro-
prletor OF a eyclery, to take her out on
a tandem. When attempting to scorch
down a hill, Miss Hall suddenly fell
backwards on the seat. catching in the
gearing and striking on the ground vlo-
lently. Mcleod also lost his equilibrl-
um, fell over Miss Hall and struck on
his head. The skull Of each was frac-
tured. Mcleod cannot recover. Miss
Hall has not recovered consciousness.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-09-04
In Omaha's suburbs

Omaha. Sept. 3.-Twelve masked
hlghwaymen held up carriage load Of
people in an Omaha suburb early this
morning. and secured several hundred
dollars. II Is an organized gang which
has long evaded the police. There were
four persons in the carriage. A short
distance from Benson. and near q
clump OF trees. figures emerged from
the shadows and surrounded the car.
rlage. Two men held the horses. while
the 10 others compelled the occupants
OF the carriage to get out. standing
them in a line. and making them turn
over their yaluables,