The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-07-17
THEAD. SIGN PAINTER
ONE OF THEM RELATES CHAPTERS
FROM HIS EXPERIENCE.

How He Managed to Advertise on the
Walls OF Fort Sumter-when the Bees
Objected-Let Farmer Blow His Steam
oT-Thc ObligIng steamboatman.
The experience of sign painter at
Fort Sumter makes n diverting story:
You SEQ, got darky to take me
over from Charleston In ono of those lit
tie boats that they sail down there closer
to the wind than anything ever saw
before The fort was unoccupied except
by an old soldier, who showed me all
over the place Have drink, corporalf
said to him after awhile No objeo-
tions, said he, and we walked and talk
ed little further. Pretty lonesome
here, eh, sergeant?' Very, indeed, an
swered tho old duck, warming TO me as
/ brevetted him grade highsx every
two or three minutes.
"'Ah, said /, it's tough old biz,
the army, amt it. leutenant?' Faith,
and 1t is, upon me life, said he.
"Well, / brought my flask out again
and pressed it upon him. Now, look
here, captain. said I. you don't mind
me painting a sign around the old fort,
do your Not bit, my son. Paint as
much as ye Place, he answered quite
willingly, and away went to work,
finishing the lettering before shutdown.
"That little business nearly got me
into trouble, and left Charleston in a
hurry. Nearly as bad was the time was
painting ON a beehive. was walking
along the railway track with my pots
and brushes and saw the hive, which
was in Al position. bound to be seen by
everybody in the trains. stole up to it
and slathed on the paint, taking care
not to make much noise. Buz-z-zl One
little fellow came to look at me, then
another, then another and then u score
or more all at once. They didn't seem
to object--in fact, seemed to admire the
richness of the coloring--but in singing
my leg over the top of the hive upset
my can of turpentine, and not one bee
in the crowd would listen to word of
reason. was laid up for week or two
after that, Tut can't DO quiet long. It
ain t in me to be still I'm an out and
out Yankee, and 1t warns my heart to
be off with the paints, and it amt in
cumbent upon me now"
He added this with compliment and
pregnant glance at his massive watch
chain and jeweled sleeve buttons. which
indicated no little prosperity.
"When anybody gets his back up at
me, / just let him blow his steam off,
and then talk to him, he continued.
"Down in Maryland one day l was
painting fence, and follow working
away from that var fence' / let ON not
to hear him. You git nowl' tho old
man shouted once more, but l dabbed
and dabbed away as industriously as
ever. You won't, won't yerY' said he,
$500 s.s.ss.sHH<t's aihu VIVA - 49,
fork In his hands Folks In Maryland
are generally pretty much In earnest
| when they are mad, but l didn't move
an inch. He'd have lifted me like a
piece Of toast If had, and instead Of a
toast it would have been roast for me.
"I looked as mild and innocent as l
could, shaped out the letters and held
my head back now and then as IL to
study tho effect. Don't you like itF
said us he got up to me. Well, he met
me with some high seasoned expostu-
lations; but, as / told you, never in
terfere with man when he's blowing
off steam; it isn't safe. Tho pitchfork
did not look salubrious, but l held to
my work, and as was finishing 1t he
| b., or ok
to take an interest in the sign. Got n
family?' said l. Yes, said he. Young
uns, too, maybe. Yes. said he again.
We'll, now, said I, 'ain't you ashamed
Of yourself to let your temper get the
better of you in this way? Think Of tho
bad effect ON your children. But I'll
paint it out No, leave 1t on, stranger;
over to the house together, which proves
that when a mans blowing off it's best
not to sit ON the safety valve.
1T went up the Mississippi with old
Captain feathers In the Natchez, with
her smokestaoks painted crimson to
signify that they would DO burned red
hot before she would be passed, and at
the first landing I set to work ON all the
rocks. The old captain was immensely
tickled with tho idea. Look ut tho
darned YankP he cried to tho passon-
gers. How long before you start, cap?
shouted ]. Well wait till you get
through, he answered, and he did tho
same thing at every other landing. But
tho newspapers have made such an out
cry against the dissertation of nature, as
they call it, that law forbidding it
has been passed In some Of the states,
and, ON the whole, rock painting is dis
couraged by our patrons, who think 1t
spoils the sale of their articles. Chi
cago Times Herald