The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1895-09-05

The death Of Sir Patrick O'Brien re-
calls his reply in the house of COM
mons to Mr.. Biggar. who had been
nagging Sir Patrick for the fun he
could get out of it. ''SOr! said the
latter. IF l were to say to this house
that regarded the honorable member
for Cavan with contempt and disdain.
what would the house reply? SOr, the
house would say: Pat, me bhOy. roight
We are
General Gordon. of Georgia. tells
the following story of the war period
to illustrate the shrinkage Of the con-
federate currency: "One day a caval-
ryman rode into camp on a reasonably
good horse. Hello. cavalryman.' said
fOOt-SOldier I'll give you three
thousand dollars for your horse
You go Ito the bad place. was the
hOrseman's reply; Il just paid one
thousand dollars to have him cur.
ried.'
Ihere was once prominent man in
chicago who had 4 very exalted opin-
Ion OF his own city. He died. and.
when he reached his eternal home.
he looked about him with much sur
prise and said to the attendant who
had opened the gate for him: Really,
this does great credit to Chicago.
expected some change in heaven"
The attendant eyes the ChicagOan q
second, and then observed: This isn't
heaven
Sir John Hopkins. admiral of the
British fleet which came here on the
occasion of the Columbian celebration
of 1893. appeared on deck in a fine
new uniform. and said To Julian Ralph
who was his guest on the Blake at the
time: ''Will YOU look ut me-" Sir
John. said Ralph. Il should think you
would feel proud "Pr-roud. me
boy.' said Sir John: I'm as proud
as Il puppy dog with a sladiolus in his
mouth
One day Maurice Barrymore drop
ped in at the Lambs Club and met a
few cOngenial friends. BY the way,
boys" he said, ''how is dear old Joe
Holland? Where is he now? l should
so like to see him" Why. he's play
ing over in Philadelphia at Mrs.
Drew's theatre Why don't you Jump
over there. You'll see him play Bru-
tus in Julius Caesar tonight" I'D
love to do So" said barrymore. eu-
Enthusiastically, but, thank God,
can't"
a neighbor, whose place adjoined
Bronson AlcOtts, had Il vegetable
garden, in which he took Il great IA
tereSt. Mr.. AlcOtt. had one. also. and
both men were especially Interested
in their potato patches. one morning
meeting by the fence. the neishbor
said: How is it, Mr.. Alcott. you are
never troubled with bugs. while my
vines are crowded with them:" My
friend" replied Mr. AlcOtt, Il rise very
early in the morning. gather all the
bugs from my vines, and throw them
into your yard"
An English clergyman. who was sud-
denly called on to preach to 4 congre-
CATION of college students. was unable
to speak without notes. and had only
one written sermon with him, which
was on the duties of the married state.
The topic was hardly one that he
would have chosen for. the occasion,
but he hoped that it would pass mus
ter as being appropriate by anticipa-
ton. But unfortunately he did not
read the sermon over, and so, before
he knew it, he had uttered
this appeal: "And now, word to you
who are Mothers
When, after the second battle Of Bull
Run, General Sickles, assumed COM
mand of division of the Army of the
Potomac, he gave an elaborate fare
well dinner to the officers of his old
Excelsior Brigade. Now, boys, we
will have family gathering" he said
to them, as they assembled in his
quarters. Pointing to j table, he con-
tinued: Treat it as you would the
enemy."AS the feast ended an Irish
officer, Captain Byrnes, was discover
ed by Sickles in the act Of slowing
away three bottles of champagne in
his saddle-bags. What are you do
ing sir:' gasped the astOnished gen.
eral. ''Obeying orders. SIR replied
the captain, in a firm voice; you told
rs to treat that dinner as We would
The enemy, and you know. general.
what we can't kill, we capture
Wordsworth IVES present 1T public
Inner one night, wren he was inform
I'd that Stephenson. the celebrated en-
,ineer, was present. While the latter
was building the SkerrievOre light
house he had been in the habit Of
swinging in hammock during the
and reading the Excursion"
This was told Wordsworth. who was
delighted. At the end of the dinner,
ne was called upon for speech. He
'Ose and said: Gentlemen. 1 can not
make speech; I never did. and am
lfraid l never shall. But there is
Gentleman here, present, Mr.. Stephen
on, the great engineer. and if you call
lpon him to speak, he will doubtless
ell you something that will interest
'ou more than anything 1 could say;
le will tell you how he passed the long
ummer evenings when he was build
ng the SkerrievOre lighthouse.
.
In a New York town which has q
Olony Of colOred people one big dar-
icy was one Gay employed in setting
ut shrubs on the lawn Of handsome
state. The master Of the house was
"a