Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1895-07-07
THEY SEE IT ALL.
The Absorbing Curiosity Of the ldlel
and His NeiShborS.
FOREVER ON THE QuI WYE.
Women Always Pause Before
Mirror to "Gcnr Themselves
Up"--Dcnth TO the Punstcr md the
Funny Man.


triarchs, and where the numbering ice
wagon forever thun1ers over the stony
streets. we have many things TO draw
our little community toge.h r and 10 pro-
ducc neighSoriy feelings. For generations
our children have mingled together and
jointly absorbed the dirt Of our respective
back yards. and for decades immemorial
the multitudinous infantilc population OF
this patric.an section have narrowed US
with their volocipcdes and graVel-snoot-
ers. But we are happy through II all
Have not Scriptures sad. Love, Thy
neghbor rs ihysel'." and DO W. not even
80 farther than the mandates and adopt
the motto. Love thy neighoor's business
as thy own This we do. and. with Gu
riosity as our guiding star, We make
life pass merrily. and always find plenty
10 10 In the first place, with our opera
g,ass,s we can sweep the surrounding
apartments and gain many bits Of III
formation which our neighbOrs would fain
not have us discover. Little do they know.
when they sometimes fit around In negli-
gee. that we are occupying Dald-head-
row seats in our mansion, and criticising
their moth, r-hubbards or their tea-gOwns.
Little do they suspect that we have dis
covered that they use turpentine soap
instead OF Turkish-bath. and that they
only eat two meals a day. Nor do they
know that We can til Just how much
meat they have for dinner. ana that on
the days we see the confectionery agon
stopping "a their houses We always guess
that company Is coming, ana accordingly
look out for the strangers. When the
doctor drives up TO their houses and
enters, closing the door behind him and
thereby shutting out our gaze, our Gu
rioslty becomes spasm0dic, and life is
uybearable until we have investigated
the matter. And so. too, when the dry
goods man brings up his wares. we perish
TO know who's going 70 have a new
dress and whether ii Is paid Tor. In a
word We want 10 know everything about
our n iehbors business, AID. If this be
impossible. we will only CONTEXT ourselves
by investigating those things they don't
want us to know.
When the little tousle-headed girls in
our neighborhood, who have spen; hours
in ouc gardens Playing mother AMI
child" with their rag dolls. begin to grow
UP and have sweethearis, our time is
so fully occupied watching their move
ments that we frequently have to abandon
oU- household duties. 1t is absolute agony
not to hear what the boys are talking to
them about. and IL there's any way TO
do IL. we generally manage II. We like
To count their bcaux. and keep an item
izer account OF the number Of times they
call. In fact is IL as much as can
&c on summer nights TO keep the run
o. ihem all and TO equip ourselves with
Sufficient cosby data 10 converse fluently
on this subject with those who drop in
and who. by the way. are watched just as
much as the persons discussed. And then,
too. If the newspapers would only publish
statements showing how much salary
each OF the men OF our square receives,
II would relieve us Of "A vast deal OF spec
ulation. and bring universal relief. II
anybody happens 20 get married around
these diggings it's a sensation that creates
the prOfoundest excitement. and affords
magnificent scope for detective work.
Really, it takes us days TO get all the re-
Quisite information. What, with calcu-
hating on the tr0usseauX. the presents, the
fixings, and the guests We run a regular
little bureau Of Information and statistics.
Even funerals are entertaining. We all
watch 10 see II the widow weeps enough,
and II her mourning clothes are borrowed.
and IL the JoneseS across the way cent q
floral design. Then too. IL Is interesting
TO see what the bereayed family are doing
when they get back from the cemetery.
There is yet another event which creates
the widest fiut,er in our neighbo-hood.
j shall not go into details. though all are
in a fever Of excitement When at last
the glad tid.ngs come forth. and the
world hears the announcement IT'S
boy there's enough to gossip about for
weeks
Il it any wonder. in view of all l have
g.ated. that We feel Ike one big family;
tat we do not hesitate to borrow a cup
- vinegar over cur back fence from the
1tdy living next DOR. and that when we
have an exceptionally good dinner we
rend cut a waiter TO the Smiths across
the street, in order that the whole world
may know how We are fixed.
Women have their weak points Just rs
we men do. OF course they are
or superiors In every way $50
/ tell them). but all the same.
tIere are many defects in their
makeup. and they are far from perfec-
ton. All Of them are not vain or con-
ceited Gin fact, none but the ugly ones).
but I've yet 10 see one who wouldn't
stop and take peep at herself every
cine she runs across a mirror. And that
isn't all: they'll unhesltatinsly stop and
give little dig ut their bangs, to see
that the capillary adjunct is In good order.
and then they'll give their cheeks little
approving pat. which eioQuently says:
you're all right. my girl" Mr. Eddie
Williams. the knd-hcartsd old gentleman
who runs the Capitol elevator tand who
has his name on his pooket-bcok written,
Eddie Williams, Elevator Boy'). is
thorough student OF female nature, and
n great adm!rer of the sex. In fact, he
says that after the stronger sex he
doesn't know any that he admires more
than the weaker He. or some other stu
dent of feminine caprice has very phian-
thropically had mirrors put into the ele-
vator. and so. as the ladies go back and
forth In the conveyance. they have ample
time TO adjust themselves and 10 admin
lister those caresses to which / htve above
alluded. But when they make the descent.
they are especially prone TO linger long
and lovingly I'm front OF the mercury
smeared glass. and so. in consideration
thereof. Mr.. Williams always allows them
special dispensatlon at the bottom, In
order that they may gear themselves up
properly for the streets And vet after
all this gearing up. these same females
Will repeat their act in front of the very
next mirror they come across-no matter
If it's just little piece Of glass two
inches square. | can't blame gOod-looking
women for exhibiting this eccentricity
and In truth, I'll confess that ] always
look at myself every time ] shave. hut
what fun some OF these old oyster-opsning
faces get out Of II Is more than ] can
see. Verify. IL l had Il physiognomy like
some OF the supeTannuated relies | see
pcerlng at themselves. my whole life
would be one OF remorse. Still. by
Heayen-sent dispensation, beauty is made
TO exist in the eye OF the gazer. and this