The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1895-08-14
A GREAT CONVERSION.
HOW TO TURN A PATRIOT INTO
A TIME-SERTER.

OOme years since Lncre was rail-
road strike in this good city of Mime
apolis, and conspicuous among those
who took the part of the workingmen
was half-starved clergyman by the
| name of Rev. L. G.. Powers. He was
| fierce, fanatical and abusive in his adj
yocacy of the cause of the men; and
the men, having few defenders from
the professional class, and still fewer
from the clergy, took the emaciated
| advocate of human rights to their
boSOms and hearts; and soon after
when vacancy occurred in the Labor
| Bureau, established by the Legisla-
ture, as part of the permanent admin
istration of the state government, the
| reverend radical was pushed forward
by the workmen and made commits
sioner Of it.
Then came transmagrification
which might make the angels weep.
Every time the reverend gentleman
drew his salary he saw with increas-
ing clearness that he had "soft
| snap" and that his first duty was to
try to keep it. And SO he cut off his
| hoOfs and trimmed his horns, and
softened the glare of his anarchis tic
eyes; and the hoarse believing Of the
bull of Bashan died away in the soft and
gentle cooling of milk-white turtle
| dove. He perceived clearly which side
of his bread was buttered; he recog-
| niZed the fact that the Labor Bureau
was machine to work the workmen,
| in the interest of the G.. o. p. and the
Plutocracy; and he determined to
keep his place il active Servility could
| accomplish it. And so he proceeded
to cook up lot of garbled statistics to
show that the people of Minnesota
were pre-eminently prosperous and
happy; that there were no debts or
discomfort worth speaking Of; and
''that everything was lovely and the
goose hangs high'' in the pure, upper
air of serene contentment. And all
| this in the face Of the census of 1890,
which showed that there were $197,-
600, 900 of mortgages on real estate, in
this pleasant commonwealth, with it's
O.0O0 voters; and in the face of the
state auditors report that / 500, 900
| people in Minnesota paid every year
$13,0O0,00O Of taxes, while it would
puzzle them to say what they got in
| exchange for that enormous sum.
And then when the silver question
came up the Reverend Mr.. Powers
rushed into authorship, with reply
to Harvy's great book, COINS Finan-
| cial School," He called it "Farmer
| Hayseed in Town"-a sheer in itself,
| for it is based on the idea that man
can not be farmer unless he has hay
seed in his hair. Mr.. Harvey was Of
| course unconscious that this very
| small flee dog. with the G. 0. P. collar
on his neck, was nibbling at his heels;
and so the reverend brother proceed
ed down to Chicago, when the Horn
Harvey debate was going on. and at
| tracted national attention to himself
|. by asking "Coin" a silly question.
And now he has returned and is max
| ing himself still further conspicuous
by writing nonsense for the newspap-
ers, in advocacy Of contraction and the
gold standard.
All this inspires melancholy reflec-
tions upon the infrmities of human
nature. II Mr.. Powers had con inued
in Minneapolis, making street-corner
sermons in behalf of the workingmen,
with his belly 80 empty that you could
| trace the vertabrae Of his back-bon
among his vest buttons, he would be
today an honest man. advocating free
silver and an abundant currency, but,
as Lowell says:
low
| On purpose that we might our principles
swallow"
And Powers was dreadfully hollow
when Plutocracy began to feed him.
the pap ran down into the very calves
of his legs; and in six months there
wasn't anything left of the original
street preacher except the hide.
| Surely the Minnesota Labor Bureau
! is great institution. AS an append
age to the G.. o. P. it is useful; and as
the means of making limited num-
Der of converts to pernicious and
damnable doctrines it is superb.
Next year we hope the Farmer Hay
seeds will take possession of the state
government, and restore Workman
Powers to his pristine poverty and
honesty. We long to hear him once
more denouncing Tom Lowry.
/