davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset reporter., 1895-12-10
THE BORE WAS SHOCKED.
A Blunt Latter That Reached Him From
tha Interior department..

The following anecdote is related Of
Judge Cox, who was once secretary Of
the iut=liot. There is "a class Of people,
aud - -e one, who find pleasure in
correspond Hg with the departments on
trivial SUBJECTS and prolong the cor
respouG.hce indefinitely. A gentleman,
let u call him Mr.. Jones. was one of
these persistent specimens who wrote to
the interior department. Although re-
plies We're mace 10 his inquiries, he al
ways returned to the front with another
unimportant question. His case became
a subject Of conversation among the
clerks, and at lunchtime one day some
one referred to Mr.. Jones ability as a
letter writer.
eff had my way, said a clerk, I'D
soon put an end to his nonsense.
How would you do it,
"Why, I'd write him a letter like
this, - and he wrote as follows:
DEAR MIR JoNes-Yours OF the 9th inst
received. In reply l would say that your in
telloctual capacities are rather inferior TO
those Of a bonalcss Goldfish am tired Of you.
Hoping you Viii not write again, | remain
yours respectfully.
The letter was passed around and read
and finally earelessly thrown aside on II
desk 1t remained there until evening,
when II Was collected, with others, by
the messenger whose duty II was to ear
ry htters from the several divisions to
the secretary for his signature. 1t
CHANGED To be among some letters relat-
ing to routine matters, and Secretary
Cox affixed his signature without read
ing it. Then it went through the mail
to Mr.. Jones The following day the
secretary received a communication
from Mr.. Jones. He was shocked and
grieyed he was fearful that the govern
ment was tottcring to its fall. When a
cabinet officer descended to penning
such sentences, he said, he feared for
the welfare Of the country. Nr. Jones
wounded feelings were soothed by per
sonal letter from the secretary, and to
show that there was no hard feeling on
his part Mr.. Jones at once renewed his
correspondence with the department.
Washington Post.
The Somerset reporter., 1895-12-10
Fresh Domestic Sage at PATTEh'S DRUG STORE


The chalelainc With it's clinkinp,
gltterlng silver tr aets, has a successor
in the Triiby hcal1 and chain, which
promises 10 outdu u IN popularity. But
"A woman Il not content 10 wear only the
big heart containing a picture of the one
she loves The lest Il all-sometimes II
is the face Of de- and sometimes that
Of q. Ian-dargius from her chain. She
wears a dozen gmeracks on her chain
il the house that She weuldn' dream Of
wearing on the street, and 10 be happy
she must have an equal number for the
street that would te bad indoors.
A matron and ii maid met at the nov
city counter in a JeWclry store the otheT
day.
"And what are yau doing ont SO early
in the day asked the former of the
latter
ooh, I'm buying outdoor things for
my Trilby chain! They are absolute ne.
cessities, you know. See, here is a wee
powder box, with dear little puff in
side, and cut pisss - gfette and a
honbon box; a ca.a uf C1utt plaster. a
knife, tiny comb IN Il case, "a stamp
box and pencil, aud If course here is IA
memorandum book that I've purchased
| Won t buy anything else today because
the clerk tells me that they viii soon
bring out some entirely new things fer
the chains and IN going to wait. y
will you tell ne what is left for the
women 10 wear oa thee chains in the
b1uSa>f' tho tflatraft asked tsp glprly
The Somerset reporter., 1895-12-10
Not "a Mere Clerk.

Wealthy Parent-What! Engaged
Yourself to yourg Tapester Outrageous.
The idea of a Van Juneberry marrying
mere store clerk
Daughter-But he isn't store clerk
now, papa. He is gentleman of leis-
IRE
"Eh?4
Yes, he's been discharged. "-Salina
Herald.
The Somerset reporter., 1895-12-10
Rather Vindictive.

Old Boy--How's this? | hear that
y1u have consented to the marriage of
your daughter with young Seekem.
Friend (sullenly)-Yes, l had to. But
never mind; just wait. III get even
with him.
"Eh? Will you dlsinherit heri'
"Worse. III give her concert grand
piano for a wedding present. New
York Weekly.
The Somerset reporter., 1895-12-10
The Spettrd Veil

A new count must be added to the in
dictment against The spotted veil An
up town woman has been III for several
weeks, and has narrowly escaped blood
poisoning from one If them. She had a
slight cut on the upper lip. and wearing
her veil for several hours one day, at
that time, she noticed that it became
mostened and adhered often to the cut
She thought nothing of it till i'll the
evening, when she discovered that her
lip was very much irritated, and began
to pain her very perceptibly. BY morn
ing il was badly swollen, and physi-
clan was called, who sad at once that
some foreign irritant had aggravated
the slight sore, and did not hesitate to
accuse the veil, when he was told of its
wearing the day before aud the suisse
quent events. The ease proved very oh
stinate, and the sore most difficult to
heal, the danger of blood poisoning at
one time being very imminent The veil
was one Of the ordinary black dotted
sort.
1t is some mitigation If the veil evil
for the moment that fashion at present
dictates that these face coverings should
fly loose, after being pinned To the hat
brim. The veil strapped close To the
skin has been Temporarily at least land
aside Nav York Times
The Somerset reporter., 1895-12-10
LIE MULLIGAN- LETTERs.


After the morning hour ON Monday
June ,, Mr.. Blaine rose to a question Of
privilege. He began his remarks by OBJ
serving that the investigation, though
authorized in general terms, was aimed
solely and only at himself. The famous
witness, Mulligan, " he said, had select.
ed out of years Of correspondence letters
which he thought would be peculiarly
damaging to him, Blaine, bnt they had
nothing to do with that Investigation.
He, Blaine, obtained them under CIR
cumstances known to everybody, and
detied the house to compel him to pro
duce Them Had Mr. Blaine stopped
here his enemies could have made him
bite the dust. Apparently he had allow
ed himself to be driven into fatal cnl-
de-sac Not so.
Having vindicated his right to the
letters he proceeded in his most dramat-
ic manner: "Thank God Almighty |
am not afraid to show them. There
they are holding up package of let
tersl. There is the very original pack
age And with some sense of humilia-
tion. with modification that | do not
pretend to conceal, with a sense Of out.
rage which | think any man in my po-
sition would feel, | invite the conf
dence Of Al, 900, 600 of my countrymen
while | read those letters from this
desk. " For the moment triumph turned
to dismay, dismay to triumph. The au-
dience was electrified. The letters seem.
ed to show Mr.. Blaine, in one case at
least, high minded and generous in as.
Stunning the losses of 'innoeent persons
who invested On his request. From
1.-The Plumed Knight and His Joust, ?"
by President E. Benjamin Andrews. in
Scribunr'c
The Somerset reporter., 1895-12-10
Boston, Portland. Lewiston. Augusta
aferyilIn SknMhrphn and RAnpnr

aS-'Flag stations; at which trains will stoI
on signal or notice to Conductor.
Mixed between Bingham and No. Ansou.
STAGE CONNECTIONS.
At Norridgewock. for Merct T, land Electric
Cars to and from Skowhegan.) At Arson. for
Sawyer's Mills, (Stsrks):
No. Arson for North and West New Portland
Dead River. Flagstaff and Eustis. At Bingham
for Forks Moose River, Mayfeld, Kings bury
and Abbott.
W. AVER SUPT.
The Somerset reporter., 1895-12-10

See the young woman.
Is the Young Woman being suddenly
and unexpectedly kissed
All, yes.
And does the young woman raise a
hue and cry?
The young woman raises slight hue,
but no cry.-Detroit Tribune.
The Somerset reporter., 1895-12-10

No married subject in Austria can
procure a passport to go beyond the
frontier unless he can produce written
consent from his wife.
The Somerset reporter., 1895-12-10
Abraham Llncoln's Peach.

A young lady sends to tie Chica2,
Tribune little anccdote Of Abraham
Lincoln. She says that a good many
years ago, when her father WAS i small
boy, her grandfather brought Abraham
Lincoln homo one night to supper. Be
was then poor young man praeticiag
law in Woodford county, Ills.
1t was II cold, stormy night, aud
grandma hurried around getting supper
To have something nice, she opened "A
jar Of preserved peaches. Lincoln spent
a long time over his peach and finally
left it Oh the plate.
Grandma noticed this, and as soon as
he and grandpa had gone into another
room she wclt to look at the dish Then
she saw that instead Of peach she had
given the visitor the little muslin sack
which contained the peach kernels and
the spice. She FASTENED into the other
room and began an apology, but Mr.
Lincoln said:
THAT was all right, Mrs. Perry. My
mother used the same thing, and it was
50 good that | wanted to get all tho
Juice out Of IT. y
The Somerset reporter., 1895-12-10

being twisted up In knots. | was unable 10
dress myself. except with assistance. and
could only hobhle about l'y using cane. !
had no appetite. and Was assured. by the
doctors. that could not live. The pains. al
times. were 50 aN ful. thai could procure
reliei only 10y means of hypode1mic mice
tons Of morphine. had my limbs handaged
i'm clay, IN sulphur III puuliices. hut these
gave only temporary rrliei After trying
everything, and suffering the most awful
fortunes began to TAKE Ayers sarsapaIilh.
Inside Of two months. WAS able 10 walk
without cane. In three months my limbs
began to strengthens and in the course Of a
year was cured. My weight has increased
10 lG5 pounds, aud ! am now able to do my
fun days work as "A railroad blacksmith"
The Somerset reporter., 1895-12-10
UNTOLD MISERY
FROM
KHEUMATIS NJ
C. H. King, Water Valley, Miss, cured by
Ayers SarsapariIla

For five years, suffered untold misery
from muscular rheumatism. ! tried every
known remedy, consulted the best physi.
clans, visited Hot Springs. Ark, three times,
spending $1,000 there, besides doctors bills;
but could obtain only temporary relief. My
flesh was wasted away So that | weighed
only nnety-three pounds my left arm and
leg were drawn out OF shape, the muscles
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1895-12-10
THE COMING REVOLUTION.
rhe EDITOR of "The Erena" Discusses
Mr.. Cali. Book In "a Striking
Paper Dealing with Fund
am<ntai Evils of
the Hour.
CONTINUED from last acesk.)

" CONTINUED from idsf aeek.)
Thus the Rockefellers and the
Flaglers have been able to &C
quire millions of wealth from OBJ
tanning q monopoly in one of
Natures great treasures which
should have been enjoyed as the
land by the whole people, or
subject to rental value.
A third source from which the
privileged class reap millions Is
found in monopoly in money.
Thus in the republic today we
have a spectacle which might
we'll excite the amazement Of a
true republican who believes in
democracy in fact rather than q
plutocrat labelled democracy.
Here we find that.
1.-THE government issues the
money and charges the bank
from o~ne-fourth to one-half of
one per cent. interest for its use;
the bank, in turn, charges the
public rates varying from six to
twelve per cent. and even up
wards; practically, the whole in
terest charged is thus its profits
for the mere distribution of the
money. The bank also receives
individual deposits; paying no
interest thereon; these it lends at
the same rate as before, the
whole charge again constituting
its profits. AS almost the entire
money circulation of the country
passes through the banks, it is
not strange that with such ex-
orbitant profits their fortunes
should be both large and num-
erous.
"The fortune of the banker is
not, any more than those acquir-
ed through inheritance or the
monopoly of land, accumulated
by a struggle like that of the
toiling poor. Money is q. public
necessity, and every laborer and
all industry must have it's use;
or exchange, which means so
much to industrial society, is inn
possible without money. The
banks which are intrusted with
its distribution take advantage
of this necessity.
A fourth source of colossal
fortunes is found in Monopoly in
Transportation.
1.-THE large fortunes are ac-
quired by this means every one
knows, yet SO complex are these
interests that the exact manner
in which these fortunes are &C.
quired is not always known;
there is a growing feeling, how
ever, that it is at the expense OF
society, and the private control
of railroads is therefore looked
upon with increasing distrust.
This plumber first begins in
the building of the roads. They
II regarded as public interests,
and large public aids are give by
land grants and the voting Of
bonds to encourage and assist in
their building; yet notwithstand
ing this assistance. the roads
when built are often mortgaget
far in excess of their actual cost
the public aids, together will
the surplus realized from tn,
mortgages above the cost of Tia,
roads, going to swell the forum
es of the builders. Stock is thel
issued upon the road, much as i
a farmer who had mortgaged
five-thousand-dollar farm for teI
thousand dollars should attemp
to dispose of his equity. Blu
the public are not acquainte
with the cost of railroads, an
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1895-12-10

ITO be continued next week.
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1895-08-15
INTERRUPTED THE WITNESS.

From the Atlanta Constitution.
Some time since, in southwest
Georgia, a murder case was being
tried before a certain judge The
state's attorneys hid seen the shoot
ing, and they had an old negro on
the witness stand. The negro became
interes ed in the story he was telling.
His big eyes were fixed upon the
lawyer who was questioning him,
and he seemed to think there was no
other person in the room. He was
trembling with exc tement, 80 much
80 that he stammered, and he told
his story as If he was having a
strictly private and confidential ION.
v%ersation with the states attorney.
"An' den, boss'' he said in solemn
and awestruck tones, "j-j-jes' ez
war a.comin' roun' de cornah, sab,
I see him 'long o de lamp pos.
ID
"What time was this?n asked the
Judge.
The witness paused just for a Sec
ond, as If something had disturbed
him; but then, without turning his
head, he went on:
"J-j-jess' as I wal a-comin' roun'
de cornah, boss, I seen him 'long o.
de lamp post. /"
The Judge raped the desk before
him smartly with his gavel. 3
"Stopl" he said. "The court Ia
asking you a question. At what
time did you come around the
corner2"
Again the witness stopped and
made a motion with his hands as Il
he was brushing away a fly from hia
ear, but he never turned around, and
again started to tell bis story:
"Ez I wuz a-saying', boss, /
rounded dat dab cornah, an I seer
him long OF de-"
The judge brought his mallet down
with a noise which almost caused the
witness to leap of the stand, and
roared out:
"What do you mean, sir? II you
do not answer nv question i~natantlv
l shall commit you'll"
The witness turned, faced the
court, and said in deprecating tones:
"L-l-look er yere boss, doan' you
see Pm talking to dis gen'leman2"
The lawyers were almost con.
vulsed with Laughter, the judge bent
his head and shook with merriment,
and the witness was allowed to finish
his story undisturbed.
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1895-08-15
I OFTEN WONDER WHY TITS so,

BY FATHER RYAN.
Some find work where some lind rest,
And so the weary world goes on;
sometimes wonder which il best
Tho answer comes when life is gone.
Some eyes sleep when some Dyes wake,
And so the dreary night hours GO;
Some hearts beat where some hearts break
often onder why tits SO.
Some wills faint where some wills Tight.
Some love the tent and some the field,
often wonder who are right
The ones who strive or those who yieldf
Some hands fold where other hands
Are lifted bravely in the strife
And SO through ages and through lands
Move on the two extremes OF life.
Some feet halt where some feet tread,
In tireless march, a thorny way;
Some struggle on where some have fed,
Some seek when others shun the fray.
Some Bwords rust where others clash,
Some fall back where some move on.
Some flags furl where others flash
Until the battle has been won.
Some sleep on while others keep
The vigils Of the true and brave;
They will not rest till roses creep
Around their name about the grave.
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1895-08-15
ON TIE JOYS OF LABOR.

From the Golden Rule.
How God must love work, that he
so highly rewards the work of his chill
dren! In work I find more than for
getfulness of sorrow; I find It's trans
mutation into peace. Work brings me
more than rest from my worries; it
blots them out. Work changes foes
to friends, and sets me at love with
all the world. Work leads me insen-
sibly far from temptation, and makes
me q lover Of heaven. By the dirt
of honest toll, I wash from my soul
the dirt Of sin. o forgive me, Father,
that 80 often I sully this power in
work with thoughts of filthy gain,
that so often I debase it's lofty aims
with my petty ambitions, and dwarf
it's eternal purpose with the timid
touch Of timel Let me work as CO.
worker with thee, as part of thy
splendid ages, ambitious only to be
thy instrument, eager only for thy
reward, and patient with thy long
patience. I would work steadily,
a task for each moment; I would
work serenely, each task for the
eternal years. I would work mod
estly, knowing that I have no power,
I would work courageously, knowing
that all power Is mine. I will make
1t my only task to please God, so
that II God is pleased to order my
failure, my task shall be well done,
none the less. I will not consider
my work begun, except with prayer;
nor ended, except with Thanksgiving.
I will not work that I may be happy,
or work that I may do things, or
or work that ! may work, but I will
work because God is at work, and I
want to do what my Father Is doing.
And 10 I shall be his CO worker,
because I love him.
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1895-08-15
REPUBLICAN.
InyrnRsoa orTy. MISSOURI.
THE RIVER OF TINE,


As It runs through the realm OF tears,
with afauitless rhythm and a musical rhyme
As 10 blends with the ocean Of years.
~
A'"' = ""''is w ur"'"s' hAe naRes o'
o.."een,
go,
On the rivers breast with its ebb and fow
A 1t glides in its shadow ond sheen.
w,.-. ''y On u '
f''''aet
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1895-08-15
NURSING As A PROFESSION.

From 18th Training OF a Nurse,'' in Demo-
rests Magazine.
Expend much time in thought, and
weigh yourself and your capabilities
before deciding to become a trained
nurse. II you desire an easy profes-
sion, select that of the washerwoman
in preference. If You are q practical
b~usinesslike woman, and think OF II
rs a profession which, when acquired,
will yield you a good income in dol
lars and cents, and are willing to
undergo two years OF hospital serv-
ice for the sake of acquiring it--snd
look at it from this standpoint only,
you may possibly make a mechanical
nurse. Your patient will not mourn
your departure, and you will never
be called to visit the same house
twice. If you are q romantic, novel;
devouring maid, yearning to be
known as q modern st. Elizabeth,
and long to battle weary brows and
witness impossible deathbed Genes
ETC., stay at home. You will remain
at the hospital but q few days, and
you will be sadly disappointed. But
If you are q strong, healthy woman,
possessed OF education, gentle breed.
ing, a kind heart, determination, pa
t~ience, and, above all adaptsbility,
and are willing to undergo Whatever
work is assigned you, and to face
bravely whatever comes, II you are
willing to forget your present station
in life in order that you may become
a useful woman and at yourself for
whatever fate the future holds in re-
serve for you, You will not regret
the step you contemplate taking.
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1895-08-15
FOOD OF GREATMEN.

From the New York World.
Rubens was so fond of lettuce that
no at one time thought OF building q
greenhouse, to enable him to have
this esculent all the year round.
Raphael lived principally on dried
fruits, such as figs and raisins, eat
ing them with bread. He had q
theory that a meat diet was not good
for q painter.
Kant, the German philosopher,
was'content with the simplest food
in small quantities. A bit of fish or
an egg, with a piece of rye bread,
made his meal.
Cruden, the compiler of the Bible
concordance, delighted In roast beef.
"If you can get 1t cold, sir, with
plenty Of mustard, 1t is at for the
gods"
Correggio was temperate and
abstemious. A little fruit and q
piece OF black bread, such a. was
eaten by the working people, fully
satisfied the demands Of his appetite.
The Duke Of Wellington was q
good feeder. When In Spain, he
often grumbled at the tsbeGstiy VIC
tuals'' furnished for the use Of HIM
self and staff.
Thomas Fuller did gallant trsncher
duty ct the tables Of his wealthy
parishioncrs. He once said he could
eat anything that anybody elss
could.
Francis Bacon was plain In his
eating tastes. Splendid bAnquets
were provided for his guests, while
he himself ate Of one or two simpls
dishes.
Gibbon delighted In toasted cheese.
Late n night he would repair 70 the
pautry, procure . supply, and, rs-I
turning to hts room, wouId toast u
bsfore ~ own Ase.
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1895-08-15

"Oh, sb, is 1t you, an no Injun--
but I was q leetle sick, an now l
feels PETER"
"It was an Indian you saw" ssid
Mr.. Lsselle. "He came to tell md
that . friendly Indian sent him u
tell me Annette was captured, bui
that he would try to take good care
Of her till she could be rescued. No
doubt they want q ransom, and i
will give all I have to save her."
They walked slowly back to the
house, Mr.. Laselle kindly assuring
Mr.. Hess that the Indian was gone
and that he need fear no danger.
"Look," said Mr.. Hess excitedly.
"What Is that2" lie pointed to Z
bright light in the south, though IL
seemed several miles away 1t was
evidently a fire. at is a house
burning, I am sure,'' said Mr.. Lsseilo
land 1t Is no doubt Browns, our
nearest neighbor. Ours may be the
next, but we car hope for the best.V
All night they sat by their fire,
listening, and dreading the approach
OF the savages. Mr.. Hess clasped
the long iron poker in one hand and
held his pistol with the other. He
would stand bis ground now he
thought, come what might,
Mr.. Laselle triedNto cheer his posS
wife, but she took no heed AZ MI
words. 4ssa3ee6
was in charging hef misery 10 His
account.
els it the wind bowling SOP" sud-
denly spoke Mr.. Hess.
They listened breathlessly.
"No," said Mr.. Laselle, "It is the
Indian whoop."
ITO be Continued.)
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1895-08-15
100.
Exchange Bank,
Jnyy1Rs0N CITY. NO.
CAPITAL AND nU1RLUD, . oee,eoo.oo.

oAxAA AMI D~SSSSo0s00s
u. o. Nwrs6. ryuefdens. -
We. pAIsAny.a. oesAiss.
VA. pAlxxuysz. AssisAans oashisf.
20 eeaseel banking .b~esinsss. NJ and
hishss letssrs q lntredeotoA and Srsdit y
e .s, l: IA: s-iss e 1890 1lSssi s.s e:
IR:sa sssa "a: :ss Z slIs s. -: IL! ss:s' sss.sA. o.
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1895-08-15
Star Of the South.

90 q vslaseo Tor health. ssa cir sal
comforts vhsrs ahips TOO dssp for III ethss
fsxas ports sail IN 40 I'D sst VIII ssss.
vhsrs fruits ripcn earlier aAd pay hetASs
g q oaiifointsi vhsrs ~ sol u nssurui
not-esd, rresA yegetkh,ee ~ vin,er,
ooioese eay - thsee yeasss = <sGpsos enevt
sero. warnee3 eays = 4eNseu1. ySAnnso
100 ~ - i~1veeonao1s u ~ go.
AeoPNnHHAsclPe. $780,, uIse.
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1895-08-15
EASY r FOR CUPID.

From the Chicago inter-ocean.
Justice Martin had q rather heavy
wedding ceremony to perform yes
terday afternoon, in which ~
groom weighed 300 pounds, Will
the bride tipped the scales At a
pounds, The contracting conf
wereG George Hayes, IS years Of e
and Lotto Kelley, aged % year.
The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1895-08-15

ssasrai Passenger and Ticket Agent.
u. LOUIS. NO.