Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1895-10-22

~sGAA.
REAL COUNT IN disguise.
man; but their aspirations are higher.
So that, when communities are formed,
the women commence to establish social
customs for their own betterment and
for the general welfare of their hus-
bands and sons. First comes the priest
and the preacher to aid the women in
founding a church, which is primarily
asocial nucleus and ultimately a school
Of religion and morals. Women found
churches everywhere, and half-civilized
man pays the preacher, but generally
does it grudgingly, until his soul is
touched by love or fear, or both. And
then he tries to outshine woman in the
fervor of his devotion.
| But i'll all communities, no matter
whether they are new or ivy covered,
society breeds excrescences and barna-
cles. Even among the twelve apos-
ties there was one wicked one. But of
all cities on earth it seems that Wash.
ington has not only most Of the social
nuisances which atflict other cities, but
we have select assortment peculiarly
our own. Here is, for instance, the in
dividual who moves in the society of
foreigners-or tries to do so-not be-
cause foreigners are intelligent or in
teresting, but simply because they are
not Americans. The American who
has married the Italian count-tilat
charming swarthy yuacaroni eater, who
hasn't penny to bless himself with,
who hasn't the faintest vestige of
family in Italy, except, possibly,
former wife from whom he has run
away, who takes to beating the poor,
Ideluded, falsely a girl who > las
married him. and -eo ends his career,
after She has wrecked her life and has
finally been divorced from him, by
going back to the sweet melodies OF his
hand organ and the congenial company
of his monl1ey-the American girl who
marries the count because he is a count,
or rather, says he is, is a nuisance ma
tional in character, and is even found in
the great and boundless west, where
life is supposed to be truly American.
But that is not the only type of foreign
loving nuisance that bothers us here.
Our foreigners are men of position in
their own country and are entitled to
consideration in ours, and adoring them
is not quite such blind folly with us as
1T is in other places, where they are so
often Adventures about whom moth
ing whatsoever is known. Neverthe-
less we have little band of nuisances
here who follow the foreigners about
and accord to them devotion that is
laughed at by no people more than for
eigners themselves.
One of our most lamentablen uisances
is the social vagrant. OF course the
man who has no visible means of sup
port, the tramp who wanders into
town, soon finds himself tete-a-tete
with the prosecuting attorney in the
police court; but the young man of
family, who has nothing to do, is an
unassailable social pest. He is proud
of his family; but does nothing to make
his family proud of him. Fortunately
he is not yet very numerous here.
When other people are busy in their
offices or on the street on business
crrands, in their worls-day clothes, he
saunters lazily along clothed like
bridegroom. He goes to his club in the
morning and he loafs there alone, for
there are few people there at that
hour except servants; he walks the
street alone when everybody else is
busy; he is in reality one of the most
solitary and miserable of individuals,
but he thinks he is fortunate, and
many other young men, who don't
know any better, envy him. As mat
ter OF fact, this sort of genteel vagrant
is less worthy of commiseration than
the ignorant and usually vicious fellow
who enjoys his ease upon park benches,
varying this monotony by loafng about
the police court and sometimes invol-
UNFAIRLY participating in the legal pro-
ceedings which take place there. He
lives on an income, too, an income de-
rived from a grateful public that gives
him sustenance, sometimes calling it
aims and sometimes shutting him up in
a comfortable hotel, where he can be
nicely fed and clothed. Occasionally,
the public being niggardly. he is
obliged to take little something from
it without asking forit. There is more
similarity between these two classes
of gentlemen, who neither toll nor
spin, than at first sight appears. Both
could work if they chose. but they do
not choose. Unlike the man who has
worked tor one portion of his life in
order that he may loaf for the rest Of
his life, they have neither of them
worked at all, and the means of loaf
ing have come to them without any
effort on their part. There is, however,
a calculation and a certain amount of
brain power demonstrated in the park
loafer's existence which is wanting in
his colleague.
But II you want'to see and feel and
know the most prevalent social nuis-
ance here, you must meet with the de-
partment clerk who, continually talks
! "a. YOU Of The. pnhtic .husi1esh ana