Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1895-11-09

| Vas you a regular boliccmans?"'
| Eyes"
well, vas dat Teller right as I said we're
vas de schlate building, und he walked
acrost de yard und said gif me half toll
lar, und toll him go off NIT himself, und
he said he had me arrested right away?
| You did not have to give him half dol
lar unless you wanted to-
"ole woman" turning to his wife, you
vas .:y no g zoo You sif dot mandot money.
Don't you say a word. 1 don't Civ you
de money any more
A marital row seemed impending and the
into dot building for?" asked the husband.
mo charge will be made"
We'll. now, dot Teller said We couldn't go
in. Mr.. Bolicemans. I Ike you, und ven
you come by dot Hoboken. I lief on der
third story alreaty. und 1 hat beer on ice
all de vile. Come right away oop und see
u.s."
But don't drink beer"
dot don't make no dfferens. Schrst
COON oop und enjoy yourself vatchin' me
dhrink it. Now I find dot Teller und get
| dot feefty cents back right away
''If man can't tell when he's got enough.
| he better let it alone altogether" moralized
the car conductor coming down town early
| one morning last week. booty Individual
getting off the car at @ street had turned the
| conversation en- the back platform into a
temperance channel. Il haven't drank
drop since a year ago last July" con-
| tinued the conductor. Couldn't be sat-
| isfied with shifter now and then.
| When1 started played the whole game, SO
| 1 had to quit or lose my situation and he
went through the car to gather up the stray
| nickels.
Funny, too, what small thing will make
| big impression on drinking man some
| times" said the conductor, as he got back
| from his collecting tour. Now, there was
| Jim Smith, lived UP near me, one of the best
mechanics in the city. Jim used to go on a
spree just regularly Saturday night
! came around There was a saloon attach
ment to the grocery where he traded, and
| there is where all his money went. One
Saturday night Jim went into the grocery,
| ard a woman stood there trading, with her
| market basket full standing on the counter.
There were some small crackers IN the
basket and Jim took couple That angered
| the woman and she opened on him.
| :" Look here! Jim Smith You just step
| drinking so much whisky and you'll have
| money enough to buy your own crackers!
That started Jim to thinking pretty hard.
III have money enough to buy crackers and
| other things, too he thought after he had
| worked the matter over in his mind for some
time So he concluded to turn over a new
| leaf
THE second Saturday night, when Jim
went to the grocery, the proprietor said:
Didn't stop with us last Saturday even
ing, Jim; what have you been doing with
yourself?'
Been buying crackers and things said
Jim
We'll" said The Star man, who had be-
L
suppose Jim has comfortable home Low,
and has money to buy everything he
| wants?"
"Nawr snorted the conductor He turn.
| ed that new leaf over the wrong way, and
now he gets drunk twice a week-Wednes-
days and Saturdays. Change cars for the
| avenue liner
| Gen. Miles told story to q few friends
| the other day on a Scotchman by whom he
had been entertained on the. Pacific coast.
The Scotch friend has been very successful
| on ranch he has in California, where he
has raised many fruits, but the pride Of
his life is his olive crop. In fact, the
country is noted for its extraordinary pro-
ducton of olives. After he had acquired a
| good fortune he determined to visit Scot
| land. While there his friends urged him to
| take fE other parts of Europe, and he did
| Holy Land. On his return he was asked
by his California friends for -de3aiIsssof his
| trip, which he gave with a great relish.
Gen. Miles. = 49,
Europe WIS very fine" answered the
Scotch-American, land Egypt is very old.
But don't think much of the land in Asia.
| Why, went to the Mount of Olives. Do
| you know, there amt cny olives there to
| speak of. 1 raise more olives on my ranch
than they do in the whole Of the Holy
| Land"
| Not long ago there was a sale in WASH
| ington of the effects of the Historian Ban
| croft One of the ladies in Washington
who is welded to Washington ideals and
| associations, wanted a desk which had
been the historians, for the associations
| surrounding 1t. She liz wealthy, and was
determined to have that desk if money
could get it. Intrinsically 1t was worth
very little, but that was no reason why she
| would not bid high on the desk. The day
| of the sale sire was too Ill to go, and SO
| she sent her daughter, with Instructions
| to bring home the desk, and told her to
| bid as high as 500 for it, The daughter
| went early to the sale and secured seat
near the coveted desk and waited until it
| was put up for sale. Then she began to
| bid for 1t along with several Others When
| the price reached some SIS everybody drop
ped out except the young lady and some
one over near the door. Every time the lady
| hid there was advance from .he
| known bidder until the price had mounted
| UP to 500. Knowing that her mother want
ed the desk. but fearing that some one was
| bidding against her for the sake of getting
| more money! sort of straw bidder, as 1t
| were-she advanced the bid two or three
times while she was endeavoring to move
around to the door to see who her un-
known competitor was. The price had
reached Sis, the last bid being made by
the unknown Just AS the young lady reach
ed the spot Much to her surprise she
elder lady feared her daughter would not
| secure the desk and came herself to pur-
chase 1t, and here these two mad been bid
ding against each other all the time. 1t
is needless to add that the family got the
desk.
A group of ardent admirers of Mrs Cleve-
land were discussing the many estimable
qualities of Mrs. Cleveland recently. 1t
was at boarding house, where these par
| ticular friends who are very intimate with
the Cievelands were temporarily residing.
| n q a woman who had