Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-11-14

On chilly days the maiden grieves
Though dressed in garments new;
She can't display her silk waists
sleeves
And heavy jackets, too.
''He said | was his life's sunshine"
'SI guess you will find that all moon
shine Boston Courier
Professor. how does the haircut
suit your 1.-THE hair is altogether too
short-a little longer, please. Pile
gende Blaetter
"What would you do, miss, if should
attempt to give you kiss?" Il should
certainly set my face against it, SIR
Richmond Dispatch.
"Tell me, guide, why SO few people
ascend that magnificent mountain.
Because no one has ever fallen off it.'s
--Fliegende Blaetter.
ut may be weakness" said the dying
editor, "but can't help but feel CRATE
full to this town. What for?'' For
life enough to leave it"-Atlanta Con-
stitution.
'"That whisky is fifteen years old.
know it because I've had it that long
myself" The Colonel-By Jove! sir,
you mustbe man of phenomenal self
control.--Life.
"NoW that we are married, Penelope,
and have nothing to conceal from each
other, how "I'm 20, George. How.
much did you give the preacherT,,--
Chicago Tribune.
Tommy-Paw, why is it the good die
young? Mr.. Figgs-They don't die
young because they are good, but they.
stay good because they die young.-In-
dianapolis Journal.
He (waxing serious)-Do you believe
in the truth Of the saying, Man pro-
poses; God disposes?" She (archly)-
1t depends upon whom man proposes
to.-Brooklyn Life.
Oh, Peary, please now settle down,
While you with life are blest;
And give yourself, the world at large,
And poor north pole a rest. 49,
Boston Courier =.
construct was an old flame of yours
Blobbs-An old flame? Impossible!
'"Why impossible?" "She's from Bos-
ton. "-Philadelphia Record
Il reckon said Mrs. Corntossel,
''that these politicians says. good
many things they're sorry for" EYES,"
replied her husband, IAN good many
! more tibet they orter be. ''-Washington
Star.
Its a cold day when get left" said
the pawn broker, as he hung up the
$50 overcoat on which he had advanced
81 "Its the other way with me, ''aDtly
remarked the overcoat.-New York
Herald.
do you think" he asked, 'that your
father would consider my suit favor
ably?" Really, Herbert" the mer-
chants daughter replied, II couldn't
say. Did you buy it at his store? -
Washington Star. J.
Oh, legislators, while you strive !,
To remedy our ills,
If you would keep us all alive,
Pass some ten-dollar bills!
Atlanta Constitution.
did you like the matinee?' said
Mabel to Blanche. mo / couldn't
see the stage" "Your seat was well
toward the front, wasn't it?'' Eyes;
but a football player sat directly in
front of me''--Judge.
A.-"When I see you / always think
of the proverb TO whom God gives
an office, to him he gives understand.
ing. B.-"But l have no office!' A.
''Well, don't you see how that fits?''--.
Fliegende Blaetter. 1900
The black bearded pirate. with a.
knife between his teeth, boarded the
passenger ship. Throw up your
hands, he shouted. The passenger
hanging over the rail smiled feebly.
Il think l did, not less than an hour
ago. he said gaspingly.-C
Enquirer.
Are all these young men anxious to
become surgeons asked the visitor.
'.They are, replied the lecturer upon
surgery. "But how can so many ex-
pect to make a living?" Easily. sir;
easily" answered the lecturer Think
of the effect of the present bicycle
craze. Chicago Evening Post
In reply to the cry for assistance, the
.rofessor said: "If could help you. T
couldn't help helping you 1t is because
cannot help you that.f cannot help
refusing to help YOU" And the. men :
dicant darted around the corner. with
terror in his eyes and cries of ..Helpr'
in his mouth. Boston Transcript