The islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1891-1899, 1895-10-03
Rev. Evolution Whaleback.

Rev EvOIu1On NnaieDack.
My suspected hearers wat rs gwine
ter talk ter you all erbout dis year ebe-
min am disclosed in jes one little wud
an dis year little wud hab done NOR ter
make trubble in dis world dan any I'D
der'in our vocolabrtory. Dis wud my
friends ann no figeer OH speach wot says
one thing when ii means ernuther but
am er straight from de shoulder wud
an its name am ZageratiOn, yes my
friends it am de wud Zageration an de
true declination consists in addin five
c,nts wurf of truth of two dollars IN
den relatin de whole mixture fer the
straight goods Now rs not gwine ter
situate my dear cullard friends dat any
OBJ yo'i am guilty oh Zageratin but rs
mighty ftard dat if .yous furnished wild
de five cents wurf of truth you all
would have VERY little truhble in fur
llislin dp fall per centage Ob de udder
iiigregience. as fer Instance if you ship
twenty boxes ob prunes dat brings you
thirty-two an er half cents er box, de
first thing you know you's teIIn how
us you'., done shipped 800 boxes dat lab
materlalised to de mount ob er dollar
an sixty-fve cents er box. En- if you
goes fi|hin an gifts two er three little
rock Gods an somebody axes wot you
cOtclI yous mighty apt ter zagerate bout
dose big ones wot got erway. En- when
yOus lucky enugh to meet up wild er
chicken when yous comm home from
church some night i'm de dark Oh de
moon, you got ter watch out er Zagera-
ton am gwine ter enlarge on dat
chicken till hit am bigger dan er Cnris
mus lucky. So you see my dear cul-
lord niggerS dat duis zageration ebery
whar. Ell you goes down to de grocery
an axes de groc rynan fer some A l
coffee an de groceryman he done war
ents dat to be de SIMON pure artikle,
yous mighty shur to find when de ole
woman comes to bile some fer yer
breckfas dat de parity between de cof-
fee and de Zageration am er heap more
dan Is to l, er big heap more. But my
friends whar you finds ZageratiOn in all
its gloriousness am in de politicle cam
pane an when de oder side gifts after err
candidates record OARS ueber VERY |
economic in de use ob Zageration so ola |
am always perSiminOus in de employ |
ment oh de truth an eff da can find eben |
err cents wuf ob truth crSin de ober side
da am sure to supply er full SUI cheney |
ob Zaggeralion. An | tell you ny
friends it am mighty hard sometimes |
ter tell which am ZageratiOn er which |
am prewarication, caus dar am or heap !
ob men dat rudder lie on ninety DAYS |
time dan to tell de truth for spot cas'l. |
An dars zageration or worse eben cr-
mung de breGren. Look at dat big |
hunibly ignant Niger Brudder Sic Par
ry Us Gimpsonweed wild a mouf from
year to year like De leases on your truck
patches an err voice like de fog horn on
PatOs island, when | hears dat shade
spOutin bout how de Lord called him
to preach to you all jest allow dat he's
zagtratin er else he's prewericatiu, All
if it am de reformtr den rs houn 10 re
mark dat he done ansertd when de
Lord called some odder Teller all when
er whole mteiin hOus fall Oh preachers
thank de Lord cause de hopper louise
done Spite de lager beer an den don't
stand de same courtises to de festive it,
tie insect fer chawin up de barley an
rye ali d. oder ingrejiences fer de max
in OBJ peach brandy al sod cora whls-
key it seems dar must be eder some
Zageration er prewericatiOn erbouu it er
else dar was II heap OLD damphooIisln
layin round dar loose som. wllar an
dats err fact. An now my Teller mig
gers hopes yer gwine ter remember
wOt done told yer bout zagpra ion an
if VOW hears dat brudder Slinbone
Jones was five cents snort when de
Sunday school collection am counted |
don't rush down town an tell cherry
man you meet dat he am Il dirf,lt err to
de tune Ob ten thousand dollars. En- if |
you hears dat ole man JOhIsiny All his .
wife hab had er misunderstanding don't
let Zageration git de better Oh de truth .
till it is all over town dat she famed de /
ole man ODER de head wild de fire shovel /
Dis world am all holy show while .
constitution sway back collects de en- !
trance fee rs de augience passes out OBJ
de door. WHALEBACK.