Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-10-03

JEsrs AND YARNS Nv FUNNY
MEN or THC PRESS.


NOTHING TO POINT THE WAY.
II don't see,'' said Mr.. Mcguire,
a. he sat in the stern OF the vessel,
"how the captain can find his way
across the ocean. IL he were going
the other way all he'd have to de-
would be to follow that white streak
behind there. but In front there's
nothing to point the way"
A HEAVY BLOW.
"Henry, you look worried; what IL
the trouble?"
II was stung to the quick by an
adder this afternoon
''Heavensl How did it happen?"
"Why. / went to the bank this
afternoon, and the bank clerk. after
adding up the ledger, told me my
account was overdrawn."
PROOF OF IT.
Nell-Dell seems to be infatuated
with Jack Rappide.
Bell-Yes, saw them in dark
corner OF the porch last night, and
she seemed to BIO quite wrapped up
in him.-Philadelphia Record.
OUT OF HIS DEPTH.
They were telling of books that
they had read, and the man with the
forehead asked what the other
thought Of the "'Origin OF Species !"
The other said he hadn't read it.
I'm fact he added, PPM not inter
ested in financial subjects. boston
Transcript.
| PREPARED FOR ANYTHING.
First Desperado-Bill, is the front
gate propped open, and have you got
some red pepper all ready to throw
at the dog?
Second Desperado-Yes. Go ahead.
| First Desperate Cat front door a
few moments later, protected by coat
of mail, base ball catcher's mask,
and drum majors bearskin capt.
am taking orders, sir, for the Author
lied Edition of the Harr-Harvey De.
bate on the Silver Question, sir
Chicago Tribune.
| A NATURAL MISTAKE.
City man (mistaking the saw-miller
for the farmer)-What kind of board
ing can / get at your place?
Saw Miller Qnnocently)-Mostly
weather boardin', but there's little
foorin' left over, you kin hev.
TRIUMPH.
"Hal ha! hal ha" laughed the
great detective, II have 'em now! ~
For five days he had been on the
trail, and had neither eaten nor slept.
p He had done nothing but drink.
Under the circumstances his Joy
Gus assertion that he had 'em bore
the similitude of verify. Detroit
Tribune.
| MONETARY.
Ragged Rube-Boss, I just heerd
you sayin' to your friend that you
believe in free silver.
Mr.. Spouter-Well, what OF it?
Ragged Rube-I hahn seen nothin'
but copper for month. Gimme a
quarter to get on the silver basis
Truth.
| KNEW FROM EXPERIENCE.
81 think I've pretty good story
| here" remarked the occasional con-
tributor, as he seated himself and
lighted one Of the editors cigars.
The editor glanced over the stor y.
YES" he said, II think this is a
pretty good story. tell it myself
occasionally"
| NECESSARY INFERENCE.
Skilton-I don't have very much
confidence in that medical specialist
who's treating me.
Hallen-Why, what's the reason
Doesn't he seem to understand your
| case?
Skilton--Yes, but he doesn't charge
me enough.-Chicago Record.
THEIR LITERARY ACHIEVEMENTS
$50 she rejected Herbert and chose
WILL"
Eyes. They both did their best
to please her. She has literary tastes
you know, and Herbert sent her o
beautifully written volume of
poems"
THAT should have made q good
impression !"
ut did. But Will showed her his
carefully edited bank book. Wash
ington Star.
THE DIVISION.
ut cost me $50 to ascend Mont
Blanc" said the man who has trav-
elled in Europe. You know, the
law requires that one shall be ac-
companied by two guides and a
porter.
oh" said the man who has
travelled in sleeping cars, ''$4 to the
guides and $40 to the porter, l sup
oseY'-Indianapolis Journal.
AKLEPToPHoToGRAPH
He-See that nice looking chap
over there?
She-Of course / do. Would /
miss anything like that?
He-Well, you want to watch him I;
he'll take anything in sight.
She-Gracious Is he klepto-
maniac?
He-No; he's an amateur photo
grapher. Detroit Free Press.
YOUNG AMERICA.
Irate Father--I can't understand
| Won giving voI1r nofhar an ,,nuch inv,