The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1895-04-17
III Sorts Ct Paragraphs.

Wen are often called Soou Dc-
cause they have not been found out.
= On summer day the average
healthy adult pcrspircs about - oun-
| ccS.
= Mt. Tacoma is the highest point
in the United States about $1,000
feet.
= The man who assiduously courts
trouble will in the end be married to
| it.
= Remember that religion in busi-
ness is just as important as religion in
the Church.
Tie man who swcars has some
thing iu MS heart that the devil wants
to stay there.
= The fellow who undertakes to
fight the devil with fire is sure to
get lickin
= Folks who are always growing at
this world are too scared to hire a bal
loon and get out of it.
1T is considered unlucky in Ire
land to view funeral procession while
the bcholdcr is under an umbrella.
= Gus de Smith-Miss Ella, may
hope to win you Miss Ella-Why,
Mr. de Smith, do you think I'm to be
ratlcd
= Mrs. Moscs-I have made up my
mind. John, to join the suffragists.
Mr.. Moscs-lIcavcns, and I'll be the
sufferer
= Mrs. Gadzlcy-"Do you suffer
much from toothachc q Mrs. Blaz-
zer-"No-that is, not unless my hus-
band has it. y
Never suppose that in any posi-
bic situation or under any clrcum-
stances it is best for you to do dis
honorable thing.
of every 10000 clcrgymcn be-
tween IS and G5, l5 die annually;
among ~. 900 NJ. ID. S of the same age,
a fraction over -.
= The first Bible printed in the
point alphabet for the blind has just
been issued in Louisville, Ky. 1t
COUldllS loD' pages.
If Mr.. and Mrs. Asa Cowdcn, Of
.lmcsbury, Mass, live until next
May they will celebrate their 9th
marriage anniversary.
= 1t is the close observation Of lit
tie things which is the secret of sue
cess in business, in art, in science and
IN o,-ory p,,rS,Iit in life
= Shc-"You never give Inc candy
and flowers as you did before We were
married." Ilc-"No, but | manage
to give you pie three times week. .
Newspaper Editor-Juan, take
that cat away | cannot write with
the row it is making Where is it?
Juan-Why, sir, you are sitting on it.
= One Of the lessons of life which
many people never learn is that it is
not necessary to make a fool Of one
self because one has a magnificent op-
portunity.
a New York halter who ''kccps
his finger on the hat pulse of the
world says that the men of the United
States spend $500: 100000 year for
hcadgcar
= Blobbs-:Do you think the
average man is as stupid before he
marrics as he is afterwards q Cyni-
cus-"Ccrtainly. or he wouldn't get
married.
= Women nowadays arc generally
acknowledged to be an inch or two
taller. and are two or three inches
greater in chest development, than
their grandmothers were.
= A curious burial custom exists in
Assum. All corpscs are lowered from
the roofs with ropes. it being con-
trary to the laws Of the country to
carry dead body through door
= Mrs. Marketmadc (patronizingly)
-".tnI you not married yet, Hulda?
Really, think the men must be
blind" ITulda-"That's what Aunt
Maria said when you were married.
If the lava and ashes vomitcd
from Vcsuvius since \. d. 81 could
be modelled into bricks there would be
:, sufficient number to make a city as
large as New York and London COM
bined.
= The Imperial Canal Of China was
begun in the year $50 \. D. and not
completed until 1850. 1t is 2,l00
miles in length, and is by long ODDS
the most important artificial waterway
on earth.
"A boy who could not understand
what conscience meant was at last
asked: "What is it that gives you an
uncomfortable feeling when you have
done something wrong g?' Dads
cane, was the reply.
But. papa pleaded the impas:
stoned maiden, she is the onl y man
love = "That's right, replied the
brutal old man. Il am glad that
daughter of mine does not love more
than one man at time.
= Colonel, what would you do if a
man called YOU liar? mean
friend 2" "Wcll. sub. if he were a
real near and dear friend. ] would
show him the respect Of attending his
| funeral after it all were over. sub. .
"You don tell me that / am the
prctticst woman at thc"r reception. as
Won used to-. pouted Mrs. Snaggs.
NO" replied her husband: you
must remember that | Joined the
church only two weeks ago.
A San Francisco girl. disappoint-
ed in love years ago. has built cabin
in the woods on the ppcr Salmon
river and lives there alone. She is an
expert hunter and has raised pair of
grizzly bears. which are very affection
ate toward her.
- 1t will be an agreeable surprise to
persons subject to attacks OF bilious
collie to learn that prompt relief may
be had by taking Chamberlain 5 Collie,
Cholera and Diarrh~c Remedy. In
many instances the attack may be pre-
vented by taking this remedy as soon
as the first symptoms Of the disease
appear. ~ and 30 cent bottles for
sale by Hill Bros.
: johnny Smart Is there any
difference between duel and a fght?'
Old Smart Yes. indeed. y duel is
between two people. When your