Arizona republican., 1895-10-17
AFTER-DINNER ORATORY
Bottled Eloquence Unoorked at
 Big Banquets.

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 the two is leading to interesting conse- quences. It is matter of easy calcula- tion to show that from the first of No vember to the first of May the public dinners given in this country average more than a hundred night, and, as there are at least six speeches at each, the total is usually impressive. At many of these dinners, says Frank Les lies Weekly, the same stories are told; a speaker who originates happy illus tration or successful bon mot is re- echoed wherever his performance is known. ''I wish I had said that" said Oscar Wilde to Whistler, after one of Whistlers best epigrams. 'Oh, but you will say it," responded the merci- less James. It is largely that way with after-dinner oratory, and we may well inquire where the fashion is going to end unless it is more judiciously di- rected.
 There is an awful suspicion that the people who buy ten dollar and twenty dollar tickets, and who simply eat and drink and listen, may get tired of being bored. It is one of the disadvantages of the growth of total abstinence that it makes the after-dinner audience more critical When under the full in spiration Of unnumbered bottles the banquetar cares very little about the quality of the speeches. All that he hopes to do is to keep his eyes open, his body steady, and occasionally to pound the table by way of showing those around him that he is the soberest man in the company. It is easy for prosy speaker to work off moss-covered anecdotes upon an intellectual condi- tion of this kind And it is still easier for the victims of the evening to sing For he's jolly good fellow," whether they really think he is or not. But nowa- days intemperance, even at banquets, is distinctly unfashionable. The many wines are tasted more than they are drunk. The quality is praised, while the man who ''goes in" for mere quan- tity is set down as a vulgarian. There are exceptions, of course, and there are many dinners which end in mental fog and physical uncertainty. But the great majority of the banqRets are sober affairs, and the post-prandial ora tor finds before him 8 hundred or more of clean, keen and intelligent faces that measure hira at his own height, and do not magnify his size or his words through an alcoholic atmosphere. The increase of sobriety, therefore, distinct ly threatens to bring after-dinner speak ing down to practical basis on which a bore will be recognized as bore and a plagiarist as plagiarist.
 At best banquet is tiresome ex- perience for the average citizen, and if the people who support banquets should make up their minds to revolt, what is to become of the numerous gentlemen who are assured in their own minds that they are very happy as after-dinner speakers, but who some times fail to prove the facts to those who hear them? A mania of this kind is practically incurable. Heretofore it has existed upon the good-natured tol- erance of friendship, and in years to come, as there may be necessity of finding way to handle it, there will doubtless arise a -prandial audience agency, which will supply on short no- tice to orators of this kind a brilliant and appreciative assemblage, who will applaud at the right time and with the fervor of real enthusiasm.
 There is another thing. The really brilliant post-prandial speakers are be- sieged with applications all through the year. There are so few Of the really good ones in proportion to the demand that they cannot begin to ac- cept third of the invitations that are extended to them. Now, all this means work, and the men who are worth listening to are generally men who work hard in their profession or in their business. More than one of them has sacrificed a part of his life for after-dinner speeches, which at best could only be feeting in their interest and results. The dinner with us has not yet come to an occasion for the promulgation of important principles of policies. The speeches are most sue cessful when most fragmentary; but the strain is there just the same. As the world grows older every leading business man becomes more engrossed in his particular work. We have not yet succeeded in cultivating leisure. But among the men who bear the hon CTS in the different walks are many who begin to see that they must con- sserve their energies, and that they have yet to learn that sitting six hours ct table and eating and drinking a lot of things which the human stomach does rot especially want is poor way to take care of health. Perhaps these gentlemen may revolt from banquets and leave the field to the great army of mediocrities, who mean well, but who