The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1895-02-15
A Montana Divorce Suit.

the rear platform of the express when
she went through here this morning."
said the Jericho station master. He's
the Athensville Baptist preacher, and
he's on his way to Chicago to give his
testimony in the great divorce suit.
What l never told you about any di-
vorce suit? Well, you surprise me,
for that there divorce suit is just the
biggest thing Of the kind we have ever
had in this section of the country.
THAT Baptist preacher hasn't any
thing to do with it except to swear
that he married the plaintiff and the
about the Rev. Mr.. Humphreys. He's
as good as they make 'em, though l
say it myself, and don't think much OF
Baptists as general thing, having
been brought up a Methodist, though
/ resigned from them when l wBs
made conductor, which is q berth that
a man can't do anything with unless
he can swear a blue streak when the
occasion arises.
"This hyer preacher took charge OF
the Athensville Baptist church mat
ter of five years ago, and being won
derful man for managing a church
and making it attractive to the general
public, it wasn't long before he had
the largest congregation OF any
preacher in the place. The Presbyte-
rian minister felt that he had to do
something to maintain his position, so
he preached series of sermons on
baptism, proving, as he thought, that
sprinkling was the only authorized
way of baptism, and that immersion
was all a mistake. In one of his SER
mons he made pretty good point by
showing that on one occasion John the
Baptist baptized SO many people in
the course of q day that he must have
averaged three to minute. This,
the preacher claimed would have been
impossible if he had done it in any
other way than by sprinkliug. Mr..
Humphreys only laughed when they
told him about this sermon, and said
Just wait till we have our regular
spring baptizing season. So the next
spring, when there were about forty
people, young and old waiting to join
the Baptists, Mr.. Humphreys, lie
takes the whole lot down to the creek
and immerses every one of them in
less than ten minutes, breaking the
record, 'and beating John the Baptists
best time. This made him more popu-
lar than ever, aud that year the peo-
pie built him a new church twice as
big as the old one. 1t stands on the
hill about q mile out of Athensville,
tor when it was built it was caflated
that the Tern would grow in that di
rection, which somehow it hasn't done.
81 tell this just to show what an en-
terprising man the parson was. He
insisted on having the tallest steeple
to his new church that could be found
anywhere in Montana Territory, and
b'gosh he got it. People used to come
from miles away to climb up in that
steeple and see the view. There
wasn't any view to speak Of, the coun-
try being too hilly in those parts to
have much scenery, but for all that
people are anxious to say that they
had been to the top of the steeple.
"There was an old maid in Mr..
Humphreys congregation who was
more determined to get married than
any woman you ever saw. She was
one of those thin, persevering looking
women, and a mighty dangerous sort
they are. Miss Payson, which was
this lady's name, was bound to marry a
young man by the name of Halsey,
who had never done her any harm,
and was about as sensibleoand well be-
haved chap as there was in all Athens
Vile. OF course, he didn't have the
least idea OF marrying the woman, but
chaps that are always afraid to say no
when a woman asks them to do any
thing. Good temper is the ruin OF lots of
folks. It's kept me down, | know that.
If I'd been one of these crusty, rampa-
geous fellows that never does a kind
action if he can help it, | should have
been superintendent of this road in
stead of being only station master at
one of the smallest stations in the ter
ritory. Never you be too good tenn
pered. Of the two it ruins more men
than whisky.
zone day Miss Payson she gets
young Halsey to take her up in the
steeple of the Baptist church. You
see visitors were always going up that
steeple between the hours of 10 and )
o'clock, during which the sexton stay
ed at the church to attend to things,
and see that everybody conducted
themselves as they should. At 81
o'clock he locked up the door that led
to the steeple, and then he locked up
the church door, and went home for
the night.
"Miss Payson and her young man
went up the stccple about 3 o'clock in
the afternoon, but she said she enjoy
ed it so much that Halsey was prevail
deal later than he had intended to
stay. She kept him pointing out all
the houses in the town, and every hill
and valley in the whole neigh borhood,
and when she finally asked him to
-ook at his watch and tell her the
time, she was, as she pretended,
dreadfully alarmed to find that it was
half-past ) o'clock. Halsey ran down
the stairs and found that the door was
locked and nobody was within hearing
Thesexton had forgotten that there was
any one up the steeple, and had looked
up and gone home at ) o'clock as usual.
Halsey came back and told Miss Pay
son, who burst into tears, and said that
her reputation was ruined. She and
Halsey would have to spend the night
in the steeple, unless he was willing
to Jump out of the window and break
his neck, and she had rather die
thousand times than let him do that.
"Halsey was considerably scared
himself, for he saw that unless he
could invent some way of getting Miss
Payson out Of that steeple he would
have to marry her whether he wanted
to or not. He thought the matter over
for a while, Miss Payson weeping her
level best, and resting her head in a
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