New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1895-12-14

II is said that in the Ohio hotels they are scratch
ing reedbirds off the bills of fare and inserting W
their place good plump Mckinley birds.
where's your son Willie. Mrs McGuinnessT
sure, he's put the uniform and gone 10 inc
Gone to the war. is it?" ,,,
War No; he's hallboy in a hoteL"-(Yonkers
Statesman.
Mrs Newrch-I declare to goodness, don't
know whether to give some Afternoon tease or a
big evening deception.
Forestallei.'Yes," said Mr.. Cash Byrnspsa to his
as soon as | stepped in he said, L can see by the
looks Of you What you want hn You u Wan them 20 0 out
Liberal old chappie" remarked the friend. en-
Liberal? was just about to touch, him for for
twenty and he good az knew it. -tindianapoi'
Journal
According to The Mexican Herald" Catholic
church in the City OF Mexico has organized a lot
terry to raise money for the church. The tickets
cost ten cents EACH and the first prize is the rght
to call for the saying of thirty masses for the de-
lverance of souls from purgatory.
Next Th'rg-Extract from society column Of The
New Age" few years hence: There was deNgn1-
and Mr. J. E:esnor smith Brown. 1t attended
by the husbar Dis of the following ladies: Mrs II.
Thempso On smith. Mrs Smith-Thompson, Mrs
Brown and others.-(Chicago Tribune.
A FATAL FOREBODING.
The oyster shrank from the church fair stew;
ITO a sickenng fear own
Not only of being in the soup.
But of being there alone"
Thick-Hero-The plot thic<ens
Villain (anxously)-Do you suppose ANYBODY can
through it?-(Detro!t Tribune.
II. F. McGregor. of Houston. Tex, thus describes
the LILY White and the BLACK and Tan FAC
tons of the Republican party in Texas;
THE Lily Whites believe in giving the co ,i.5i
OF all political honors and emoluments We calm lam
nothing more for the white Republicans OF me
ever. doesn't suit the others, and they demand M
everything Talk about your hog fon ~ n slc6
or late there is marked tendency OF revolt 1sas
the methods OF this faction. and the Lily NM ,5e
Black and Tan crowd is dwndling. Hereioiots
they have ruled the roost but their don''"a"o"
pretty nearly ended
Gadzooks-I heard OF a merchant the other Gay
who is known to be a hre-hend, and yet he retains
his membership in this church
Zounds-Oh. that's impossible
Gadzooks-No 1t isn't; he has become known a.
flre-fend because he is always firing his clerks
"Such funny names out West" said she,
II they had buded Wounded Knee
-(Chcago Record.
instruction in regard to the laws of health and ths
effect OF stimuants the human system is now
obligatory In many OF the States of the Union III
view Of this fact. petition was recently sent TO inc
trustees OF the American University, at Washington
asking that there might be created In IL a depart
ment for such original investigation study and IN
structon as would furnish to the country the needed
teachers OF teachers in he new and almost UNI
versay mandatory bran, Of public school instruc-
ton above referred to- The Board of Trustees CT
the American University complied with this re-
quest certain conditions. and appointed com
mttee viz: Bishop John F. Hurst LID; the
Rev Charles H. Payne. Ii. D.. and wee
Chancellor Samuel l.. Better, Pm. d.. TO mo.'
the Board OF Counsel of the Temperance f'i-
vocational Association TO arrange all details \,
meeting just held In this city II was asree'
that upon the payment TO the treasurer Of the Amer
lean University OF the OF ssOoO or such lesser
sum as should be deemed by the Board OF Trustees
sufficient for the beginning Of the Work OF s"'.
school, there should be inaugurated department "
the university be called The College OF scieht0
Temperance" which shall be a college OF ihVesus"-
ton and instruction In physiology. hygiene ana pa
thology with special reference 10 the nature OF aie
hol and kindred substances together with their O.
fects upon mankind.
The South African newspapers are tuii Oh ea,sr
ing incidents in connection with the ltaiiu ne in
famine. Soda water al I'VE shlilings pot'ic
general for culinary and Washing P"sp, AZ
The demand for Florida water. bay rum, eau M
cologne and other liquids OF like character - he
precedentedly great, and anything that cai' ogs
pressed into the service OF the tonet oi,a"ander
a fancy price A mixture of ammonia ana leSen ~en
water IL said to yield satisfactory results any
vaseilne and benxine are by no means aesps'Ni
Q.ondon Globe.