The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1895-01-10
THE PROCLAMATlO
WORKING UP SENTIMENTS APPRo-
PIRATE TO THANKSGIVING.

Finally Engrossed on Cream Col
ored. Gilt Edged Paper and Signed.
The concoction of that time honored
document, the Thanksgiving proclama-
ton, which sails forth annually as the
impromptu expression of the national
executives religious gratitude, is the
terror Of the state department. Every
year it is called upon to produce some
thing new in that line, and its efforts to
Sly the same thing in different way,
tn avoid if possible verbatim copying
of last years letter. is one of the veneer
able jokes of the diplomatic greenroom.
About the first or second week of No
vember, everybody knowing that the
day falls on the last Thursday of that
month, the chief clerk on some assist
ant secretary suggests that it is time to
think about the proclamation. =
The chief clerk accordingly runs
down the list of drafting clerks, aseer-
tains which of Uncle Sam $ servants il
at the time basking in innocuous desue-
tude and dispatches to the delinquent
by messenger an order to get up draft
for the proclamation.
This rouses the clerk from his lethar.
gy. He rises TO the situation with alao-
rity. His first inspiration Is to turn out
paper different from its predecessors
The second arrests the divine aflatns.
What on earth can he say that has not
been said?
He writes the word whereas and
pauses. In despair, at length, he turns
for help TO the classics-that is, he con-
suits what Van Buren,, Tyler and Fill
more have said in past years and makes
that a groundwork for draft This
embryo proclamation is then sent
through tho chief clerk, to the assistant
secretaries.
The first touch up the document re-
ceiyes is the insertion of a lot of capital
II 5 for dedication, which the clerk has
forgotten III the throes Of composition
Then an assistant secretary, finding it
relniss III pious feryor, proceeds to i'll
sert piety with red ink marginal NOTES.
Thus the word prayer is followed ly
"sonEI Of praise, and tribute Of graf
itude' is braclleted after worship. So
long, so faithfully has this servant of
the people discharged this self appoint
ed task that he is known in Office lar
lance as the divine invuoator -
Thus revised the draft proceeds to
some other grand moeul of the diplo-
that the Deity has been duly attended
to something complimentary is due the
nation at large So carrots, in blue pen
ell, insert "our prosperity and great
hess, the 'labors OF our people or
"our mart5 Of trade and traffic -
This tricOlor draft is now handed
around again and encounters an official
with him He is III peuitcnt mood.
Selling ii pencil, he adds THAT we have
not been visited with swift punishment
for onr shortcomings. =
Another handles the document and
finds that it is too general, fails to iden-
tify the year SO he brings i'll faW
master strokes in purple indelible pot.
hooks abiding to the deadly march If
pestilence, 'at1lictive dispensation
and fury of the clements -
The document now seems to meet the
requirements. 1t is sent 80 an engro-s.
ing clerk, who proceeds to "frcit secuH-
dun artem," like a drug clerk making
up IA prescription. There are rules t. be
observed, rnles as inViOlable as those
governing the Bank Of England 4 Ger.
tain cream colored gilt edged paper is
used An deliberately ornamental title
is fiourishcd half way down the pas III
old German capital script announcing
"a Proclamation by the President of the
United States. = The original whereas
has met with many vicissitudes during
tho travels of the draft
Restored to its proper dignity, tho
chief difficulty now is TO diSentangle The
many colored insertions which crawl
like caterpillars al! over the sheet BY
standing on his head, squirting ON the
bias or humping his guessing bump to
its utmost the engrossing clerk ut last
turns out highly respectable and dec
orous looking document
He submits it to the chief clerk
Meanwhile he waits in nervous sus-
pense lest it be returned with request
for another copy or be disfgured by the
insertion of more colored caterpillars,
If the engrossed copy is approved, it
is taken to the White House The exec
utivo may or may not read it. It's pref
ty safe to say he does not, but he never
fails to sign it, With the president
signature it returns to the state depart
ment
A Autograph copy is struck Off and
sent abroad to our ministers and CON
suls
The original is filed in the Book Of
Credence, SANDER, venerable volume
exhaling an old time aroma from its
yellow time stained pages, which pre-
serves from the foundation of our glori-
oue republic the proclamations of all
the typewriter, that cruel electrocutor
of the epistolary art, has yet to desc
crate the precious flies of the state ar.
chives.
Before seeking its mausoleum, howev.
er, a typewritten copy of the Thanks
giving proclamation is given out to the
press, and the millions of readers think
what very pious, God fearing man is
the president New York World
Economical.
The Boston Transcript has heard OF
an economical man. He is l0cksmith.
and needing Il sign he went to sish
s.. 1...t