Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1895-10-03

-l w mere my OlcycleT asked Papa
on the morning Of the Fourth, a. he
came out into the yard. ..Boo.hoo!-I
don't know" said Willy. ''It went off
q little while ago" event off
Where?" ''Boo-hoo! don't know.
f-f-filled the roomatic tire wiz powder
an touched q m.match to it, an'--ah.
hoo-ah-hoo!-it went away Harper's
Mrs. Young-Mother was here last
night. She stayed till after twelve.
Mr.. Young-Did she say anything
about my being out SO late? Mrs
YounR-No. She said she would wait
till she saw you to talk about that
Indianapolis Journal. i
Young Joblots-Mr. Bullion, have
come to tell you that your daughter is
all the world to me. Old Bullion
You're another Of those fellows who
want the earth. Young Joblots-I
don't understand you. sir. Old Bullion
Why, the world Is the earth, isn't it,
and rs my daughter is al the world to
you, doesn't it follow that you want
the earth2 Young Joblots-Well, yes,
If you put it that way.-N. Y. Tribune.
Wonderful, isn't it." began the
Cheerful Liar, what narrow escapes
children run when they are too small
sometimes that anybody ever lives to
grow up. Well, what new,'' said the
Man Who Was Being Bored, resigned
II. "Oh, nothing much. Myyoungest
child fell out of the second story win
dow this morning. . You don't say 30?
And the little creature was not hurt at
I'LL? Miraculous!" Not so surpris-
ing. You see there was one Of these
patent 1awn-sprinklers playing right
baby fell into the stream it tossed him
back and kept him tumbling in the air
till I rushed in and caught him. Got
pretty wet, but there was no damage
done. But" added the Cheerful Liar,
gloomingly. sit proved an expen-
sive accident after all. "How
was that?'' There was . water in.
spector passing at the time, and when
he saw the affair he came in and fined
me ten dollars for using SO big .
stream. Buffalo Express.
You sit on your horse like q
butcher" said pert young officer,
who happened to be of royal blood, to
. veteran general who was somewhat
bent from age ut is highly proba-
BILE, !" responded the old warrior, with
grim smile; "It is because al my life
I've been leading calves to the slaugh.
Household Words.
Came too Late--"It's q great pity, !"
said the convicted burglar to his law
yer, ''that you couldn't have made that
closing speech of yours at the OPEN
ing Of the ease. II don't see that it
would have made any difference .'It
would, though. Then the jury would
have been asleep when the evidence
came IN and I've have stood some
show. Washington Star.
Young Tutter Miss Clara. suppose
that Tomorrow evening l should call
again. and having nerved myself up to
1t, suddenly, while we were convers-
Ing, I should without word throw
my arms around your neck and DELHI
erately kiss you: what would you do7
Miss Pinkerly-Oh, Mr.. Tutter, don't
ask me to look 90 far ahead. Brook
lyn Life.
Times Have Changed. Do you APP
preciate," the old man asked Of the
youth who sought the hand of his
daughter, that marriage is attended
with greater difficulties and discour-
agements than 1t ever was before? The
youth would have spoken had not the
patriarch waved him to silence. Do
you realize" He threw his whitened
locks back from his brow. $ that the
lodge gag is worn SO thin that blind
woman can see through it, and that az
yet nothing has appeared to take it,
ulace. Detroit Tribune.