Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-12-26

She put her little hand i'll mine
Some might have thought her bold
And yet there was no romance, Tor
She's hardly two years old.
Louisville Journal.
HoaX-"Does your dentist take pains
with is work. JoaX-'No; he gives
them. philadelphia Record.
Alice Uhe friend)-'I don't see how
anyone can help loving Blanche" Ger
trude (the rivaD-"She can't help 1t
herself" life.
boy, are there any fish in this
pond?' Il don't know, SIR why are
you fishing in it, then?' ITO find out,
sir"-New York Herald.
Fudy-"There goes Grabwell. He's
what l call self-made man." buddy
Yes; people who know him intimate
ly say he is all self Boston Tram
script
He-''What leads you to call Mrs.
Smilax eccentric?" She-"She was tell
ing story the other night and began
it, When was girl. Philadelphia
Record
Where are YOU going. my pretty maidT
ITO my Christmas shopping, pa, shes
said.
r Pa drew Ii check and wiped his eye,
And thought of the coming buy and buy
New York Herald. :.
The heiress--"I'm afraid papa wiz
never consent The impecunions-'I
your ia Their down on me?' The heiress
No; he says he's up to you."-Boston
Courier.
She-"Shes just about your age,
isn't she?" He-"No, I'm much the
older She--"What makes you think
so?' He-''We were born in the same
Record.
Weary Watkins-"N folks always
told me was cut out fer gentleman"
Hungry Higgins you was,
pardner, but eff you was you sure be-
long in the misfit department. LII
dianapolis Journal.
Mrs Snaggs-I was out after tips this
afternoon Mr.. Snaggs (who has had
expensive experiences with nps)-Noe
tips on stocks. surely? Mrs. Snaggs-
No; ostrich tips.-Pittsburg Chronicle
Telegraph.
A rose by any other name would smell
as sweet,
AS truly would veen, dozen such;
But Just to make the sentiment complete
A rose by any other name would cost,
as much.
Philadelphia Record
81 believe" said the young man, "in
giving the devil his due" "Um-yes,
replied his father, who was looking.
over the stubs of his check-book. ''Still,.
don't quite see the propriety Of your
paying him at my expense. Washing
ton Star
Jinks-I am always embarrassed
when l want to say the word Vase.
don't know whether to say vaze, vace,
vahZ. or vawSe Binks-You might take
hint from our hired girl. She simply
speaks of all ornaments as them
there Truth
Wayworn Watson-W'y, wat YOU
runnin' fer? Did She set the dog on
We: Perry Patetic-NaW But she set
me out whole half chicken, bread,
but:ern jelly an a pack O. cigarettes.
bet She wants to marry me!--Cincin-
natl Enquirer.
CIipple-Please help a poor man, SIR
lost my leg on the field. Wigwag-
Why. you're too young to have benin
the war. Cripple Gndignantly)-Whos
talking about war? l wish you to un-
leratand. sir, that am an ex-foot-ball
p.4.yer-T philadelphia Record.
Come. sirrah.' said the Sultan; make
Nty; promises for me, -
And plainly mark them fragile,
And ship them G. 0. u"
Washington Star
A little Boston girl who had recently
learned to repeat the Lords prayer was
asked by her mother il she knew the
meaningof Forgive us our trespasses.
why, yes she replied; ut means ex-
cuse us for going on the grass. "-Bos>
ton Gazette.
At kindergarten IN Mount Vernon
during the Thanksgiving exercises, the
question was asked: What was tho
name of the vessel which brought the
Pilgrims to this country n One little
boy. years old, promptly raised his
hand ard replied: II know! 1t was the
Defenderr- York Tribune.
"Bliggins is fine fellow" remarked
the promiscuous eulogizer. 81 believe he
would share his last dollar with a
friend" Well replied the chronic
debtor, maybe he would / guess i
have never been so fortunate ais, to run
across him when no was dcvxrx, ~ sh;s,