Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1895-04-11
exclaimed, selling my hand. 1--WE

be par OF friends instead; but"
He broke Off with Il groan.
Come, fcome!" said l. you aren't
going to &c. You'll be we'll in Il week.
or two"
Il tnowShat. but the papcr-the pa
per! Ncan'ttlo solitary thing. and Nc
Kay alone won't get the matter in Il
week. Then there should be two col
units OF editorial at least, after the
Herald-'He again broke off in con-
fusion. l finished his sentence.
After the Herald comes out. Right
enough. Now, let's see how we can ar
range it, l can do Your part of the
composition to-day. and finished up my
own tonight. If we're both a day late
it won't make much difference. I'll
begin setting at once"
Hurrying down stairs to escape
Rowe thanks, came upon Il spectacle
which took my breath away. Standing
ut 4 case, sleeves rolled up. and thor
oUghly ut home. clicking the type into
his stick at a great rate, was Bud Has
kins!
"Hallo"' said he, looking around;
'how's your editor. publisher, II, pro-
pri'tor to-day? Fin him pretty COM
f't'ble?''
How on earth did you get there?"
demanded I.
Same way you did. Got to thinkin'
that's ALL
He turned round to the case again.
winking hard, as if something had got
INFO his eyes. Mckay. positively smil-
ing, came over from his place to shake
hands with Bud. and I rushed back to
Rowe full of delight.
"Hurrah! The Spy'll be on time to-
morrow" I exulted. Bud can set
type three times as fast as I can, and
do it cleaner, too. Now, about the edi-
torials''
NO use talking of them," said Rowe,
despondingly.
But there is. I've got a scheme"
In few moments I was scribbling
away on an improvised desk by the
bedside almost as fast as Bud was set
ting the type below. Scratch, scratch
think an instant-scratch, scratch
again-think once more-and Sc on I'M
til pile of copy" had accumulated.
Then I was ready to read. This was
the beginning:
"a Fatal Falsehood!
Our by no means courteous and not
in the least esteemed contemporary,
the Spy. which is at once a disgrace to
American journalism, libel upon the
name OF newspaper, and a blot upon
the fair city in which it is as yet still
scolnfully suffered to drag out an
existence noxious to others and of no
value to ITSELF" ETC., etc.
Rowe listened without saying word
At the end he quietly remarked:
That's a powerful article, Warren"
well, now, see how this one strikes
you" And I began reading again:
Despicable Deception!
I'VE had hitherto supposed that the
utmost imaginable depths of reckless,
shameless, honorless, constituencies
mcndacity had long ago been reached
by that sheet unknown to fame, but
Intimately acquainted with infamy, I'M
der the name of the Herald"
Rowe bounced up in bed
DO you mean to say you're going to
abuse yourself like that?" said he.
Il mean to say that such q savage
article as mine has got to be replied
to little more savagely, if possible"
But to do it yourself
WHO will if I don't? That's what
I'm here for By the way, do you usu-
ally call me 'falsifer' or an 'igror-
amus':'
Rowe, by this time, had taken the
humor of the.situation into his fevered
brain. He replied family:
Il think you'd better call yourself
'falsifier' first, and save up the 'ignor-
anus for use later on. Toward the
last you might work in some reference
to your general resemblance to DON
key, if you don't mind"
Mind: Why, it's the very point
want. I'll say that the only thing
in which 1 don't resemble a donkey
is my utter incapacity for any useful
employment. That'll be sure to please
your people, for q good many of them
have told me so already"
Suppose you attack me again." sug-
gested Rowe, when the article was fin
ished. There should be at least two
sharp leaders in each paper. You might
mention the probability Of my being
ridden out Of town on rail because
the citizens can't stand my continual
lying any longer, and, for a finishing
touch, remark that it's all 1 can do to
pay my bills. That last'l be true
enough, anyway" he added, smiling
ruefully.
Its the same with me, my boy.
Poor Bud hasn't had a cent of wages
for three weeks. Well, never mind.
Let's go on"
Aided by Rowe's suggestions I wrote
until l had matter enough for four COL
umns, two for each paper. There were
pair Of outrageously abusive leaders
for the Herald, a pair of outrageously
abusive leaders for the Spy, about q
dozen short paragraphs bristling with
libcls, several scathing communications
from Indignant Citizen" Justice"
Taxpayer" and "Fair Play" besides
two strings Of satirical verses which
I Glanced to hammer out. Bud Has
kins and Mckay, working first at one
office, then at the other, got the pre-
cious stuff into type, and then, with
my assistance, made up the Herald
and ran off the edition that night. Next
morning our united forces did the same
for the Spy.
All this was ten years ago. Gala
bash City is beginning to taunt Chicago
with the certainty of being SECOND to
her in population, wealth and resources
by A. D. 1905 at latest. The Daily Spy
Herald is one Of the leading journals