Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-03-07
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
lNGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and JokeIets that Are Supposed
to Have Been Recently Born-Sayings
and Doings that Are Odd, Curious and
LaughabIe-The Weeks Humor.
Let Us All Laugh.

too long when you call on me-" He
'All right, will not come so early after
this indianapolis Journal.
He-"Oh, you may talk, but you
would have been mad enough had I
married anybody else Shelves;
anybody l cared anything about
Boston Transcript.
Mr.. Newcomb-"Whati is the latest at
the opera?'' Miss Wagner-"For the
last three nights it has been young
Mrs Felix in her latest Partisan gown"
New York Ledger.
Our statesmen now, the truth to tell,
In deeds of muscle oft excel;
While our approach to fame must be
Through long debate and repartee.
Washington Star
Cant you manage to get up some
thing new to attract people here? Il
have it, Well advertise that Trilby
will not be among the living pictures"
Chicago Inter Ocean.
She-"Why, this is only thirty-two
inches, and you advertise it as yard
wide Three feet make a yard" Gal
liant salesman-"Not such feet as yours,
laGy."-Boston Transcript.
Let the country still be merry
And raise a hopeful tune;
For freeze in February
Means a rosy peach in June!
Atlanta Constitution.
Traveller Gnquiring at famous CASTLE
T +lo TO- dow
Servant-'I am afraid not. sir. My
lady and her daughter have gone to
town" -Household Words. !:
'"There's a good deal that is swell
about Cholly Cadkins,' said one girl.
Yes replied the other; ''the only
trouble is that most of it has gone to
his head."-Washingt Star.
He loves to steal an hour away
And give himself a treat
On reading up on sunstrOkeS
And sVfferings from heat.
Chicago Inter Ocean.
Il saw De Castro, the magician make
a 500 gold piece disappear in three
mjnutes.' That's nothing. You
ought to see my wife with a $50 bill at
"a church bazar." -Atlanta Journal.
'-:*''Oh, Georgiev' Laura. dearest, I'm
So ''Stop where you are, George!
I'm ever so glad to see you, of course,
but l just will not have my sleeve
rumpled!'--Los Angeles Times.
Of all sad words of wife or cook
These probably are worst, t.
To with lynf
''The water pipes have burst"
Kansas City Journal.
. II do not like big women" said the
needless gentleman sitting next to all
unusually tall lady at dinner, and then,
seeing his blunder, he added, cat least
when they are young. "-Tid-Bits.
Il say, Doctor, tell me what the diff
ference between the grip and cold
really is" Dr. Pillem lin a confiden- :
tial tone)-The doctors fees. People
don't call a physician for :cold~<-Buf-
faio Courier
In the spring the young mans fancy
Turns to love and tender sonnets,~
But the maiden meditates on -.
Wrap and dress and new spring bon
nets.
Chicago Inter Ocean.
"My Wife, complained Mr.. n. Peck,
in an outburst of confidence, keeps
me in hot water all the time" And all
the other passengers in the car looked
at him in shivering envy.-Indianap
oils Journal.
Little sister-Any new studies this
term? Little brother-One-eloc
whats that?" cts learnin' how to
read thing so it will sound as If you
was at the other end OLA drainpipe."
Good News.
MI Bjones-Don't. you think Johnny
is getting too big to be-. a messenger
boy? Mrs. Bjones-No; I'd rather keep
him there, because there is no danger
of his getting into fast company
Philadelphia Record. -.
"Why does Bliggins always insist on
his wife being present when he makes
a political speech 2" "Hum-I guess it's
the only time he enjoys the satisfac-
ton of having her do the listening."-
Washington Star.
O, don't you remember sweet Alice,
Ben Bolt:
Sweet Alice, with hair SO brown?
She puts as much calico now in her
sleeves
AS she used to put in a gown.
Chicago Tribune.
Mamma-'You and your little visitors
are doing nothing but sitting around
and looking miserable. Why don't sou
play something's" Little daughter
"Ne is playin'.'' playing WHAT"
I'VE is playin' that we is growed up
Coed News.