The Portland daily press., 1895-08-16
Nasty on Silver.

Confederit Roads (Which is in the
State of Kentucky, January 90 1875. y
| amt so certin that want the silver bill
to pass ez was. The fact is, the thing
don't work ez I sposed it wood, and
amt clear onto 1T. There is suttle princi
pies in these finanshel questions wict
requires great deel Nv thought, and
there is underlying principles witch a
man has got to understand afore he il
competent to set hiss,lf up ez authority.
One thing I'm certin wv Bascom ain't
DO fnanseer, nor never will be, and j
told him SO.
swat is a finanseer?" asked he.
A finanseer," sed I, assooming the
look of Dan'l Webster, ris a man wich
kin pay his debts with nothin-a man
wich kin git suthin with nothin''
THE Corners then is full of finan.
seers, he remarkt, bitterly, castin a
casual glance at his slate, witch wuz list
full enuff to turn over and begin on the
tother side.
But he hezn't any Nv the science Nv it.
!! wuz argooing with him the other day
in favor NV my noshIn Nv leather cur
rency, though I told him silver wuz
much the same thing and, for example, l
wood assoom that silver wuz to be the
currency Nv the fucher.
Now, don't 700 see, Bascom, that eff I
he'd twict ez much money / Good drink
twict ez much whisky and pay for it?''
How much is twice nothin?" wuz the
the destlnies Nv the Corners in his hands
That's wot yore capitle hez bin ever
since knowd 700.
"Parson,'' sed he, 81 don't see wat
earthly difference it's goin to make
whether silver is currency or anything
else. How are 700 agoin to git silver ef
it is made legal tender? Eff silver wuz ez
plenty ez bricks wat hev 700 got to git
any NV it WITH"
can't you see that to hev silver wood re-
leeve the dettor class? Even now, afore
it is legal tender. it's only with 92c on
the dollar and when the country is
foodid with it it will go still lower
Then we-or rather SIGH Nv us ez hev
property to raise money on-kin pay
off,
''Eggsactly so, - retorts Bascom; "you
kin pay me for. the good honist likker Nv
mine witch you hey consoomed in coin,
witch is less than the dollar 700 promised.
All rite. But look here-come in here,
all NV 700. want 700 silver men to
know exactly wat 700 are rushin into. :"
And this feend led us into the back
room-that back room witch contanes the
subsistence Nv the Corners. There. in
long rows, wuz Bascom's stock There,
in barrils, piled one on top nv another,
wuz the. delishus whisky NV Louisville,
Nv different ages rangin from that Nv
two weeksTold to that witch he'd jist left
the still, and was scarcely cold yit
There it lay and ez my eye ranged
affeckshunately over it, felt eff / Good
hev the drinkin Nv all that likker wood
be content to lay down and die when the
last drop wuz gone.
Bascom pinted to an immense tank
witch heed erectid within a few days,
with pipe runDin in from the roof.
i shan't raise the price Nv likker in
conscience NV bein paid for it in a de-
preshiatid currencyl' sed he
fell on Bnscom'S neck in an extacy Nv
delite, while the others SHOUTED "Rah
for Bascom !"
sc. w." 1 remarkt, while teers
SUPPOSED my eyes, II never placed 700
much below the angels, but this generous
act has histid 700 hundred per cent in
my esJimashun. Bless 700, G. W., bless
you
But I'll tell 700 wat I shell do. Do
you see that tank?" sed he.
May ask wat that is for?" I sed.
That tank will fill with rane water"
sed he.
1.-The moment 700 git to payin me in
silver / shell take out Nv eech Nv them
barriis list eggsackly three and one-fifth
gallons Nv likker and fill it with water. -