Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1895-08-31
THINGS HEARD AND SEEN

dies and gentleman recently attending
the funeral OF sister-in-law. The party
in question had a lot in the cemetery, in
which were buried their mother and broth
er. Wishing to have a look at the lot
while they were SO near, they asked the
driver. when the services at the grave of
their relatives were over, to drive up
certain road On their way out, as they
wanted to pass lot No. -. They had not
seen their driver take long and frequent
draughts from a dark bottle while the ser
vices were going on. They would not have
left the rest Of the party IL they had.
They were on a strange road and could not
quite get their bearings. SO drove Up one
road and down another until they got the
driver pretty well mixed up. Then he
whipped up his horses, and as it grew
began to grow effective he seemed to think
that what these ladies wanted was a little
pleasure drive around the cemetery. The
horses kept going faster, and the roads
round and round he drove the frightened
women until the sun quite disappeared.
The gentleman was quite OLD and partial
invalid. and was Of little use to rescue the
party from drunken driver. AS darkness
was beginning to set in and they began to
see possibility of remaining in the ceme-
terry all night. they began a series of hal
loas," accompanied by severe pounding on
the window behind the driver
The situation was becoming alarming, for
he paid no heed. Then the women scream
ed Justify to stop these horses" This
brought the gatekeeper from the lodge
who took in the situation at glance stop
ped the horses and the occupants got out
! in less time than 1t takes to tell 1t. The
driver had gone sound asleep on his box.
The keeper escorted the party to the gate.
unlocked 1t and showed them the way to
the nearest street car. After their return
home and their excitement had abated,
they hadn't even the satisfaction of know
ing whether their lot was In good condition
or not.
They didn't kill two birds with one stone
that day.
large, good-natured looking man. who
always stops at a certain uptown hotel,
| was greatly attracted to little girl in the
| dining room the other day. She was abo 1t
| two years old. was beginning to run about
| and talk a good deal and also appeared to
| be. at home in the hotel. After smiling at
him across the dining room, and making
| friends with him at a distance, he accosted
| her in the hail. He asked her the regula-
| ton questions put by strangers to children,
all Of which she answered promptly as her
baby fashion would permit.
Finally the old gentleman shock hands
i with her and said: You are nice little
girl. Shall I bring you box of candy to.
morrow"
The little one looked puzzled a moment,
mo; 90 better doe det 1t now!'
She got the candy that evening.
An Immaculate summer girl and an up
| to-date young man went into fashionable
| drug store uptown, where there are more
| tables and chairs than there are bottles
| and sick room paraphernalia Seating
themselves at a table, the young lady
| ordered sarsaparilla and her escort tonic &"
| When the glasses arrived the one which
| ought to have been sarsaparilla was a
white. sirupy-looking liquid. The young
| woman hesitated not wanting to experi-
ment on strange beverage.
Then up jumped the young man and set
| the glass on the soda water counter say
| ing, This order ought to have been sarsa-
parilla. Please change it,
We'll, isn't it sarSaparilla?" the clerk in
Quired.
why. of course, not; sarsapartla IS
dark"
oo,a but ours is not 1t is just plain. I'M
On further inquiry the summer girl and
| The young man learned that when sarsa-
pariila is dark 1t is because 1t is colored
with burnt sugar.
In crowded 9th street car last market
morning sat young man Just out of his
| tailor's hands. Fresh white duck trousers,
most approved dark blue serge, double
| breasted summer coat new yellow shoes
and white straw hat with a brown band 1t
was all set off to advantage by the pretty
blue neglige shirt with long, white tie, and
he was fetching sight He had been to
the station to meet a young lady. evidently
just from the mountains, and he was on his
very best behavior. sure.
At the market several women got in
with their baskets some having chickens
with their heads sticking out others COW
cred over the top with fresh vegetables,
nd fhar doSty Ia
season.
One very large and very warm lady got
in and dropped into the seat next to this
fl eshly-done-up young man.
Down went her basket on his nice new
shoe, and, perhaps, a corn or two also.
Apologies and a polite rejoinder followed
but the polite rejoinder had a severe ring
to 1t and flash Of the eye that the fat lady
did not like.
She kept her eye on him. He soon turned to
his young lady and said in an undertone:
They ought to run freight cars on this
| line for the market women"
The old lady heard him, turned very red,
then sat up very straight and caught his
eye. With q whitening look and in voice
for the whole car to hear she remarked:
They ought to put on parlor cars for
dudes"
And even the girl at his side Joined in the
litter which followed.
| The cable car was crowded, and when a
passenger boarded it he IVES nearly upset
by the sudden. starting Of the grip car and
tread on the toe of man standing at the
rear end.
IT beg your pardon" he said. very polite
| ly: but the man Of the hurt toe scowled
and in an undertone muttered curses.
The innocent offender again apologized
Yes. but that doesn't help my toe any"
and he growled some mere in an under
tore.
Nearby passengers began to smile.
ST begged your pardon. didn't II" said the
other man.
Eyes, but my toe hurts just the same"
was the reply in an ugly tone.
Then the other mans dander rose, and in
very forcible language he said: Now, look
here. / accidentally stepped on your foot
and apologized for it. If you say another
word about it I'll give you this instead CT
my foot Showing his doubled-up fist), and
it will land right in your face"
The warning was not taken. for he con-
tinued to talk about the clumsiness of
some people. Suddenly the passengers
| were electrified by seeing a fist shoot out,
and the growler lay in the street as the car
passed on. Nobody said anything, but
| some thought it wasn't wise to talk too
much.
Travellers tales fill the air these days.