The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1895-04-03
ALI Sorts of Paragraphs.

as they recognize IL.
- The valuation of the labor Of our
hens in eggs and spring chickens is
every year estimated at s2OO,OOO,OOO
-Lipsey-Loyeis blind. Crusty-
Yes; but there is q suspicion ahoat
that he recovers his sight after he gets
married.
= The two longest words in the
Century Dictionary are "palatophar-
ingeolaryngeal' and "transubstantia-
tionalist.
- Gods thoughts are very great
thoughts, and if admitted into your
mind will drive out the herds Of petty
passions and desires with which it is
filled.
= According to one of the textile
trade journals, it takes 1000, 900
miles Of thread every year to "keep
the people of the United States in
their clothes" F."
- grade microscopes are said
to make the human skin appear like
section from a fsh-showing thous-
ands of minute scales, each overlap
ping the others.
Center County, Pennsylvania, has
man who claims to have telescope
eyes," He can tell the time by the
town clock when separated from it by
a distance of two miles.
During an examination, medi-
cal student being asked the question,
"Nhen does modification ensue?"
replied, "When you pop the question,
and are answered No.
- Ten years ago the teaching Of
sewing was begun in the Philadelphia
schools. Now there are 45 teachers
| and nearly $4,000 children engaged in
teaching and learning this art.
- He (encouragingly)-I'm sure Of
one thing, my angel, you and | will
| never quarrel as that couple are doing.
She with decision) Indeed we wont.
| If you ever speak to me as he did to
her I'll call the police.
| Teacher: "Johnnie, can you name
all the South American States? ?"
Johnnie: "Yes'm; but it wouldn't be
| no use." Teacher: "Why not?"
Johnnie: Nobody d know 'em unless
I used the same old names
= Captain W. G.. Kidd has been the
conductor Of certain train on Ten
nessee line for 38 years, and during
that time has never missed trip or
been reported or reprimanded. And
he doesn't own the road as yet.
Wife: "Cousin Clara needs new
penknife, and I would like to give her
one Of mine; but people say thata gift
of a knife will cut friendship" Hus-
band: "Have no fear; no knife that
one woman gives another will cut any
thing
Wife with newspaper)-s'The
is COW in Liberty County, Ca, that
is giving milk at 16 years Of age"
Husband (thoughtfully)-"I wouldn't
be surprised if the butter We had for
breakfast this morning was made from
that cow.
- There is colored girl in Augusta
who writes her name as follows: "Miss
Lizzie Lee Flower-of-the-Country
Pink-of the F our-Mile-Post Honor
Elizabeth Laura Jones Mary Lou
Ashley Bush Viney George Smith"
And she is in good health and spirits
= Polk Gaines, colored, of Versal-
les, KY, while on his way home Mon
day night in an intoxicated condition,
fell against the fence in front of Ver-
SALES Cemetery. His head became
fastened between the pickets and he
choked to death.
"Isn't it terrible about May
Mark engagement eyes, he's so
dreadfully dissipated. Why, they
say he was half drunk when he pro.
posed to her. I Iwonder how she could
have accepted him." "Well, you
know how it is. A woman will take
anything fifty per cent. off. !"
= It will be an agreeable surprise to
persons subject to attacks Of bilious
collie to learn that prompt relief may
be had by taking Chamberlain Collie,
Cholera and Diarrhee Remedy. In
many instances the attack may be pre-
vented by taking this remedy as soon
as the first symptoms Of the disease
appear. rs and so cent bottles for
sale by Hill Bros.
- A snake story, which is the first
and best of the season, comes from
Clarke County. A farmer was digging
fence posts last week, and while at
work ran across nest Of 20 young
| snakes. Five were rattlers, 10 were
moccasins, two were king snakes and
three were chicken snakes. They all
attacked him, and he was forced to
climb tree to save himself.-Const'-
tuition.
A Wiregras.s Georgia judge g|e5w has
just decided big dog case" "How
did it turn out?" "You see a man
went to Texas and left his dog with
his neighbor, and when he came back
he wanted the dog" "Well?" "The
Judge decided that the man who had
the dog didn't have title, and that
fellow who would leave good dog
oughtn't to own one." What did
the Judge do about it?" "Kept the
dog himself" f"
"A North Carolina justice Of the
peace was recently called upon to
marry couple. The magistrate some
times INDUCES in poetry, and knowing
how little property the bride and
groom possessed, performed the cere-
mony in the following words:
"Jim, will you take Bet,
Without regret,
To love and cherish
Till one of you perish,
And be laid under the sod
So help you God?"
1t is ruled by the postal author
tiles that any reduction Of the size Of
postal card by clipping, rounding of
the corners or otherwise, will subject
the receiver Of the card to charge Of
l cent on delivery. This makes the
cost of postal card equivalent to let
ter postage. Many persons inclose
postal cards to correspondents in en-
velopes too small, and imagine that a
little clipping won't make any differ
ence. Others round off the corners