The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-12-14

sometimes obviously III. though on deck
nevertheless. Sometimes, too, he Is as
brown and evidently as tough as leath-,
er, having been seasoned to the out
door work through years and years of
service. He Is always cockney, too.
Never, in all the hundreds of bus rides
which have had, have I encountered
what could be called a gentleman con-
ductor" for in the code existent over
here no one is gentleman or gentle
woman who drops his "hs" says lady"
for lady. or "die" for day, and so on.
Setting that aside, however. and re-
membering that kind hearts are more
than coronets," have many and many
time been permitted to ride on the bus
of "one Of natures noblemen," and have
been honored to receive his polite and
courteous attention while under his
thoughtful care. He helps you in so
carefully, answering your questions as
to route with equal patience and polite
ness; helps you off again, and carefully
directs you on your way If you have
still farther to go. and takes oh! such
good care of the old ladies and gentle
men and the poor mothers with chill
dren, as they get on and off. Many a
time have l wished that I We're the
Queen Of England. that l might carry
that little sword Of hers about with me,
ride incognito on the buses, and some
times knight deserving conductor on
the spot.
Studies in Human Nature.
Again, there are the jolly, humorous
| conductors and drivers, not too refined.
who chaff each other in friendly way,
and sometimes so well that the passen-
gers, try as they may to maintain
properly grave outdoor demeanor, are
often fain to break into smile at some
| sudden sally of genuine wit. Only the
other day I overheard q driver re-
preaching another in most melting
terms for making him move "igher up
| the street corner, saying that he had
the somewhat unique family of six
| teen children and widow to support
and therefore needed all the passeng-
| ers at that corner. 1t Is seldom that
| any of their chaff Is levelled. at a pas
senger, but in extreme cases it is, and
| to good purpose, too. For instance,
the other day young man signalled
the bus from the middle of the block
We stopped and waited for him to jump
on. Now, you must know that bus
| rarely stops except at corners; it is a
concession on the part of horses, driv-
er and conductor when it does and
people are expected to sufficiently ap-
preciate it to jump on in very ex-
| peditious. if not, dignified manner.
Our young man was very sweetly
gotten UP, however. with pale, glossy
waXed mOustache, immaculate broad
cloth, and correctly frowsy chrysan-
| themum in his buttonhole. He picked
his way daintily over the road, and then
| proceeded to mount the stairs to the
outside, in manner best calculated to
prevent the bagging of his trousers at
the knees. which you may know was
more leisurely than not, instead of fling
| ing himself on and up in the approved
breakneck way of boarding a London
bus. The conductor. collecting fares on
| the top, fumed at the loss of time, and
| when the young man was at last in his
seat relieved his feelings by delivering
himself to the rest of us in this wise:
| "Some O. these young fops, dye knuw,
are worse than any O. the ladies. They
stops the bus. instead O. jumpin' on, as
| they might debut law! their mothers
| says to 'em. fore they come out, Take
care O. yourself, dear, and don't go
jumpin' on the busses, for fear you'll
urt yourself, dye know" Poor young
! man! We were all on broad grin for
five minutes after that. and 1 doubt il
he ever was deliberate again.
The Other Kind.
Team recall also, conductors who can
only be DESERVED by one word as ] think