Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-03-21
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
lNGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed
to Have Been Recently Born-Sayings
and Doings that Are Odd, Curious and
Lau-hable-The Weeks Humor.
Let Us All Laugh.


Flapjack-Glibly is quite a talker,,
Isn't he? Treacle-Yes; but his hat will
ret down over his mouth.-Springfield
Union.
Judge-Your age, Miss? Miss Elder
Thirty two. Judge Ito secretary)-
Put down born in 1S32.-Fliegende
Batter.
Miss Dixby-Do you draw everything
larger than it really ought to be? Artist
Everything but my salary.-Washing-
ton Post.
'Your brother? did not know that
you had brother" "Oh, yes; or, what
IS the same thing, have two half broth
ers.''-Life.
First Beat-Wot yer dom fer livin'
now? Second Beat-Workin'. e. B.
What? S. B. Same OF racket.-Bos-
ton Courier.
No, it is not proper to speak of the
"modern woman as 1.-The woman Of the
age Don't forget this.-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The man who signs for the happy day
" ucu Il UdIclUCL 10y Ic luh
Is the same old boy who used to say:
II wisht wuz q man.
| Philadelphia Record.
HAZEL can't realize, old man, that
you are father? Nutte-Can't you?
Come around and spend the night with
me.-New York World.
care you the boss here?" Mr.. Meek
| ly-Do | look like a man that would
allow his wife to get along without
cook ?-Chicago Inter Ocean.
Carleton-Did you see much cham
payne flowing on your trip across the
ocean? Montauk-No; but saw a trc-
mendous ice fioe.-Brooklyn Eagle.
"1an wants but little here below"
Now, I'm inclined to doubt it;
He gets but little; wants a pile,
| And has to do without it.
Truth.
Hardup (scribbles)-My dear fellow
couldn't Z lend me a V? Virgins
(scribbles below)-NIy boy, you must
think am J!-Harper's Bazaar
"Have you named the baby yet?"
mo; but my husband has sent for three
sets of encyclopedias, and we may ar
rive at one before long. syracuse
Post.
us your sister succeeding we'll in her
elocution lessons?'' beautifully;
whenever she begins to recite people
get up and leave Chicago Inter
! Ocean.
Love laughs at locksmiths, so they say
But not at locks, that's plain,
For once grim wedlock shuts him in
He seldom laughs again.
| Life.
Miss Waltzer-Let us have another
round before the music stops. Young
| dancer generously, but absent minded
| ly)-Er--certainly- me, this time
Brooklyn Life
"Ef women" said Uncle Eben, "am
cz contrary ez some folks clah's dey is,
de bos' way ter git 'ein out of wantin'
suffrage am ter tell 'em dey gotter vote
washington Star
Miss Logan Square, suppose thistle
down is the lightest thing in the world.
Miss Diamond Street-Did you ever
hear young Lighthead try to talk?-
Philadelphia Inquirer.
cousin Ethel, is Col. Blazer brave
scldier?" "Oh 1 don't think he's afraid
Of powder" ''No, | don't think he is,
for I saw his nose against your face
last night. minneapolis Tribune.
'Tf you want to sell rae an overcoat,"
said the customer at the clothing store
decidedly, you'll have to show me the
heaviest you've got. l am going south
for a few weeks Chicago Tribune
Wiggies-Why did they call it a char
| ity concert, do you think? Waggles-1
don't know Possibly because it is so
often necessary to be charitable toward
the performers.-Som Journal.
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Yell, and the world yells, too.
| But you'll most always find,
| If your rent is behind,
| You will have all the grooming to do.
Atlanta Journal.
! Cholly Chappey-I see that earrings
are coming into fashion again. Have
your ears ever been bored? Miss Caus-
| tic-What question. Haven't often
| listened to your twaddle syracuse
| Post.
"It's all nonsense, dear, about we'd
ding cake. l put an enormous piece
under my pillow and dreamed of no.
body" "Well?' ''And the next night
[ ate it and dreamed of everybody
| Life.
| Old Drywater- boy, in all creation
you won't find any animal except man
who makes habit Of smoking. Young
Puffs- Yes. sir: but neither do know
any other animal that cooks his meals
! -Ha rnnrsS RaZar