Kansas City daily journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1892-1897, 1895-08-26
OpPOETISE WIT.
Answers That Have ANcrtcd Wrath and
Resulted In rrOiit.

with wisdom says the wittiest and wis
! est writer in our language and not a lit
| tie OF the necessary wisdom consists in the
| timely application OF wit itself \ pretty
| long list might be made Of men who have
| answer given at the right moment. one OF
Napoleons veterans, who survived his
! with great glec how he once picked up the
| emperors cooked hat at n review, when
leSsly: THANK you, captain, I'm what regi-
lVhid Wtted Soldier I'm my guard" @ responded
NAPOLEON, perceiyng his mistake; for 1
A somewhat similar anecd6te is related
a dispatch from the hands of a. Russian
himself on the Danube, attempted to con-
ted as he pr9yed himself to BE- be brays;;
ai$S HGT sA h 9frs n oi he
yet" was o the pn answer How far is it IT, t9
ngcag 6s 9f y9yr Wau yda Sy
YOU saw your men giving %ay?, I'd tell
them that there was wasonload Of whis-
fiSd at All points, the marshal ended with:
What's the difference between your colo
only to say the word" II say 1t now then
@eT be in Hd Sdh cases the hs9p 9
made officers received the promisedo 'om-
The traditions OF the English navy have
preserved another instance Of the kind
ES TGr'h 4a Wam the R Puk Vent 1t
down to portsmouth TO insP"c: the Brit
him. was battered old lieutenant with
one eye, who, lacking friend at court
As the veteran removed his hat to salute
the royal visitor, the latter remarked his
badness and said, 1estlngly: Il see, my
yoGr ilP1 so3Sr y9a ss service oyt Your a6 roya
highness," answered the old salt, so
head, that's it. a wonder have, any hair
professional Joke, but hc made note OF
the old mans name at the same time and
a few days after the latter was agrecaDly
surprised TO receive his appointment as a
Not only has ready wit secured promo
ton. but in not few cases ii has saved
its author when in awkward predicaments.
When Charles Lever was consul at Trieste
he accompanied his daughter on a certain
occasion to London. Lord LyttOn, learning
of his arrival invited him to dinner. "Ah:
Lever" said he, greeting him, 50 glad
your chief-CIarendon" (hen minister for
foreign aftairsl; but Lever had omitted the
81 fear must retire my nose is bleeding"
replied the novelist. making for the door,
which at that instant opened, Lord Clar-
endon being anpounced. After shaking
hands with his host, his lordship espied
Lever before he could make good his re-
treat. "Ah, Mr.. Lever, I didn't know you
had asked for leave" "N-uo, my lord"
stammered the witty novelist II Thought
IL would be more respectful 10 your lord
ship to come and ask It Ia person"
The PROMPT wit Of the late Lord Bea-
consield il well known on one occasion,
when he was a member for Bucks, he pre-
sided NJ the annual dinner Of the County
the company was 4 farmer IN the neigh
borhooi, a son of the Emerald Isle, and
Mr. Disraelps speech was frequently char
acterizel by an almost painful hesitation,
and on this occasion the faltering was even
more noticeable than usual, but the rest
less eyes We're very bright, and the match
less fence was ready with parry or point.
speak up" cried the Irishman "get on
faster" He had fallen into the trap. "Wait,
my friend said the member, 1t takes
some time TO bring my IDEAS down to
ryphal have been current as to the wit of
the late Rev c. II, Spurse9n. one, how
acterlstic Of the man. on one occasion he
was much annoyed by three young men,
who persisted in wearing their hats He
hut proceeded 10 tell his audience of
yyisig he had paid, to a Jewish synagogue.
hat, but was Informed that the great mark
Of respect was to keep il on, Il did so,
wesrn yhough n assure you isit very strange
And. now, as ] paid this mark of respect
10 the synagoguG, may ask those three
with our rules and kindly uncover their
heads The men collapsed
much irritation had been aroused in the
world Of art'-this. it need hardly be
oyasc II had 7f been RG %orRad by e 70 69w
men" on the hanging committee OF the
Royal academy; The late A. Cooper. r, A.,
and David Wilke, who were both on the
committee, We're walking around one Of the
rooms, when Wlkie commenced thus:
Fraser IAN and Wonder one WITH do FOR CieS. 9r
des, Then wen hae Roobarts there, and
"a