davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

The great divide Socialism. Puck.
The acrobat may not always be good
at making Jokes, but he can always
tumble. Philadelphia Record.
A girl who can't sing, and who
doesn't want to sing, shouldn't be
made to sing. Boston Courier.
The man who never forgets any
thing never forgets to boast about it
to everyone he meets. Boston Globe.
''Did you read, =" he sweetly asked her,
''That poem wrote last week?"
81 read 1t years ago. she said,
And now they do not speak.
Spare Moments.
Jaspar -'Jones is q man who grows
on people" Jumpuppe-"Wel I
consider him a mighty poor crop
Puck.
He (protestingly)-> ->"Poverty is no
crime" She" POSSIBLY not NOR
ally, but it is matrimonially. ."--Ds-
troit Free Press.
In spite of the fact that money
talks, there are hundreds of people
who are always complaining that they
never hear it.--Life.
"Where are you going, my pretty maid?''
"Im going a-moving. kind sir, she said. -
''Ill move along with you, my pretty maid.
"Your motions not seconded, sir, she said.
Chicago Tribune.
Much of tho failure in this world
may be at ributed to the fact that too
many people are firing at the bulls
eye of success with blank cartridges.
Puck.
Sweet are the uses of adversity but
it generally happens that while one
person gets the adversely some other
person corrsls the sweetness. Boston
Transcript.
Mother-"You are at the foot OF
the spelling class again, are your"
Boy-"Yes'm. Mother--"How did
that happenY Boy-"Got too many
rs in scissors. lid Bits.
"That's about as crooked piece of
work as 1 ever saw" mused Uncle
Allen Sparks, looking at the track the
lightning had made on the body Of
the big tree. Chicago Tribune.
So devotedly does the Hubite love
his native city that when he calls to the
telephone girl, "Give me Boston," he
invariably adds involuntarily, ''or
give me death. Boston Transcript.
"Why, she actually cut Mr.. Stor-
flington, and Storiington, you know,
is one of the better sort. eyes;
choice cuts come high now, but We
must havo 'em. Boston Transcript.
Mr.. Dunn UNPAID bill in his hand)
= 'When shall call again, Mr..
OwensP" Mr.. Owens-"Well it would
hardly be proper for you to call again
until Ihave returned the hepresent call" "
-Harper's Bazaar.
Student -"Several of my friends
are coming to dine here, SO [ want n
big table" Mine Host "Just look
at this one, sir. Fifteen persons could
sleep quite comfortably under it"
Fliegende Blaetter.
Doesn't Mrs. Noowoman strike
you rs person OF remarkably de-
cided opinions?" "Naw. She can't
make mp her mind, apparently, wheth-
er she wants to be gentleman or u
lady" ."--Indianapolis Journal.
Mrs. Eayson---"What is the price
of that bonnet over thero?" The Mil
liner-"Juss S1S." Mrs. Hayson-
''What will it be if you cut that ugly
piece of ribbon off the side?" The
Milliner---"Only $50. "--Ohicago Rec
ord.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03

One of the strangest collins ever
told OF is that for which the British
War Department is said to be respon-
sible. The story is that workman
engaged il casting metal for tho man
ufacture of ordnance at the Woolwich
Arsenal lost his balance and fell into
. caldron containing twelve tons of
molten steel. The metal was at white
heat, and the man was utterly con-
sumed in less time than it takes to tell
of it. The War Department authori-
ties held a conference and decided not
to profane the dead by using the
metal in the manufacture of ordnance,
and that mass of metal was actually
buried and a Church of England
clergyman read the service fer the
dead over it.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
Bicycle !Maunerlsms.

Each man retains tho peeuliaritios
of his gait on a bicycle TO certain ox-
tent. One man, for instance, who
limps a little in walking does the same
thing on his wheel, emphazing one
stroke more than another. A second,
who moves with long strides when his
feet are on torra flrma, siinply trans
lates this motion TO meet tho new
environment when he goes out for u
rido. A third, being bri~k, energetic
little person, always walking rapidly,
keeps his legs going at relative speed
on his safety and couldn't stroll along
if he tried. Chicago Times-Herald.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03

The big statue of William Penn
which surmouuts the tower OF the
Philadelphia City Hall faces the old
Penn Treaty Park. This displeases
the citizens who get only a rear or
profile view of the statue. So, to
please everybody, ]. Chester Wilson
has proposed to put the statue ON a
revolving pedestal, which will be
turned around once every twenty -four
hours by means OF clockwork.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03

Exit Sir Philip Francis in the role
Of "Junius," exclaims the New York
Independent. Mr.. W. Fraser Rae, in
a letter to the Athen@um, introduces
new and convincing evidences that
Francis could not have been the au-
thor of the "Letters of Junius, az he
has discovered in the eLondon Morning
Chronicle of August 2d, 1774, q hither-
to unnoticed letter of Junius, pub
lished nearly five months after Sir
Philip had sailed for India, AMI refer
ring to current political events which
he could not have known. There is
concurrent testimony of several lead
ing Statesman of the time that they
knew who Jrniua was, and that il was
not Six Philip Franeiu. His vanity,
however, encouraged people TO At.
tEibuts ths letters 10 him.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
Cost Of living in EnrOpe,s CapltaIs.

An investigation into the oompara-
tive cost of living at the various capi-
tails results in the following interest
ing facts: At Vienna the prices of
most articles of food are lowest at
Madrid they arc dearer than in any
other capital, and such things as
bread, meat, sugar and coal are very
expensive. At st. Petersburg also the
price of bread is 50 high that white
bread is still considered n luxury
above the means of the working
classes. Next 10 Vienna, Brussels is
an inexpensive city. Paris is little
higher in the scale, but London is
TERRIBLY expensive. - Westminster
Gazette.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03

The Popular Health Magazine OBJ
serves; ''The desire in a child for
candy and sweets is natural one and
should not be sti1ed. Good candy
and sweets in moderation, if that
point can be found, not only do no
harm, but are actually beneficial. Too
much sweet upsets the stomach and
spoils the appetite, but candy in mod
GRAFTON if it is not taken before meal
is food which children crave natu-
rally"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
CAUSE roR COMPLAINT.

Educated Pig (decisively) )-"This is
the last time I'll do my turn right
after the snake charmer
Wrestling Bear-"Why, what's the
difference?"
Educated Pig-"Well, they always
leave that box of constructors ON the
stage, and when them cold-blooded
reptiles find my act is taking with the
house they hiss me like thunder p
Puck.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
Electric STERILIZATION OF nIiIk.

Two Dutchmen have invented a pro.
cess of sterilizing milk by subjecting
it to the passage Of ar alternating cleo.
trio current. All micro-organisms
taken up by the milk from the air,
etc., are permanently destroyed by
the electric current. This germ. kill.
ing quality of the electric current
docs not hurt tho milk, but a longer
experience only viii teach us whether
this systom can be applied to large
quantities with proper results. Dos.
ton Journal Of Commerce.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
rhe Blind Man Read Roman characters.

by means OF recent invention tho
blind hre enatled to write with fseil-
ity, using the ordinary Ro:nan alpha
bet. The invention is described as
hinged metal plate with square per-
forations arranged in parallel lines,
inside of which the stylus is moved in
making tie letters. Nov YORK World.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
HEREDITY.

"Womani" he Missed, "give me
back the ring"
The retired pawnbroker's daughter
thought a moment.
81 think l ought to keep it. At
least until you return to me the Affec-
ton l have given you in return for
this paltry bauble."
"Will that sufiiee?"
eyes"
"Sure you don't want ten per cent.
month interest besides?'
Then he got the ring, but II must be
confessed that she threw II at him, -
Cincinnati Tribune.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
To Fore,e.l EarthaaaEes.

A Mexican professor Of physics pro-
poses to foretell earthquakes by con
meeting telephones TO the pipes of doep
Nrtosian wells and 20 inotal plates sunk
in dsep mountain crsVicSs. Any un-
usual noiss in tho bowels Of ths earth
would be Aldible In the telcPh0na,
aud would iadieate trouble. -SeW
X0Ek Mail and ExpTesA
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
LOVE.

Love makes tho path Of duty sweet
With roses Of the May,
Though winter rains around it beat
And winter skies arc gray.
And sweoter far,
Meath storm or star
To walk with love alway.
He gives tho rose its white and redj
He gives the lambs their fleece;
Unto the poor dispenseth bread
And bids their hunger cease.
Sand all his ways are pleasantncs5
And all his paths are peacer
Atlanta Constitution.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03

A girl baby was born at Kokomo.
Ind, the other day who is the four.
teenth daughter of a fourteenth
daughter of fourteenth daughter, a
record which is thought to be un-
precedented. The New Orleans Plea
yune maintains that she ought to be q
witch, if there is any truth in tradi-
tion
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03

Cleveland, Ohio, the city of bridges,
is to have the first bridge operated by
electricity and compressed air. The
bridge will be poised on huge stone
piers, and give a clear channel over
the river of lis feet
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
Crusnae Agaln,t sLreet CrIes.

@. II. Campbell, of the London
County Council, has begun a crusade
against street cries in the metropolis.
He proposes that the council shall
regulate than, prohibiting the crying
of wares where it can'be shown to be
a nuisance to residents. Shades of
Charles Larn5l- Chicago Times.Her.
o11
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
A DOUBTFUL YINpIcAT1oN.

"A woman has wonderfully acute
sense OF humor," he remarked.
"That's contrary to the popular inn
preston"
eyes, they've suffered an injustice
in that respect for long time. And
yet everybody knows that only wo-
man sees anything to laugh at when a
man falls down on the street and
hurts himself. Washington Star.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03

A league has been form ed in France
TO assert the rights of pedestrians
against bicyclists. The members
agree never to get out of the way of
bicycle; they think that in case Of
collision the cyclist is sure to get the
worst OF it.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
MABEL ON THE FOURTH.

"You light two crackers thus" she said.
"That's yours, and I'll take this,
And now, II yours should go of flrst,
Why, you can claim kiss.
We watch the powder quickly burn,
Flzz, bang Oh, happy sight
] fold the maiden in my arms
And take what's mine by right.
Alasl II seems so easy thus
To %sn what many men
Win envy later on In life,
For Mabers only ten.
Tom Mason.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
OLD TINE COURTESY.

"What kind of a man is Judge
Bagrox?"
"Undoubtedly a gentleman of the
old school. Why, when asked him
for his daughters hand he pulled my
nose, form of insult which has not
been in vogue for more than forty
years. Truth.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
ABLE TO FLY.

The Major (reminiscent)-''At this
moment the enemy's heavy artillery
opened upon my right wing, creating
diversion, under cover of which his
entire division fell upon my left wing"
Miss Gushington (rapturously)-
"Oh, you dear old angel !"-Judge.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
TAKING THE LESSER EVIL.

Moberly-"You look pretty happy
for man who's on his way to the
dentist to have two teeth extracted. :"
Hanson with great joy)-"You see,
if didn't go to the dentists I'd have
to stay at home to my wife's five
o'clock tea. "-Ch1cago Record.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
TOO DULL A PROSPECT.

Impresario (engaging singer)-"Wie
will treat you with every considera-
ton, madam, and assure you you
will have no one to quarrel with.
Prima Donna with decision)-
''Then just won't take the engage
ment. Chicago Record.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03

' Professor Frank Parsons asserts that
in New York City it costs man from
$50 to 500 year for the samo amount
of transportation he gets in Berlin for
81 En
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
SARCASM.

"This hasn't the sign of clam in
it," said the guest who had ordered
clam chowder. "It's a swindle that's
what it is.
"Excuse me, sir" responded the
waiter, who is too good for that busi-
ness, "but we only undertake to serve
q chowder; not an aquarium. Life.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03

Something like boom is reported
in the gold region in the North Caro-
lima foothills. The field is like that
of Georgia's.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
PERFECTLY COOL.

Clubfellow-"I have resolved on
suicide, James. 1t is my only re-
course"
James-'Good gracious, sir"
Clubfellow-''Not a word, James.
You shall see how a brave man dies.
Bring me the cucumbers Truth.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
MORE DEADLY.

First Brooklynite-"They say the
trolley is to be introduced into
France"
Second Brooklynite-"To take the
place of the guillotine ?"-Truth.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03

Lord ROseberry thinks that the
'new Eastern question" is one of the
gravest that England has ever been
called to consider.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
A FRESH AIR FOURTH.
pT TOM P. MORGAN.

I was during the
hottest hour OF
the hottest day
I h us far OF
the season that q
small boy pre-
sented himself at
tho office of the
Il ~
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
PREVIOUS.

Lawyer-''You will get your third
out of the estate, madam"
Widow-"Oh, Mr.. Bluebagsl How
can you say such thing, with my
second hardly cold in his grave"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE.
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.

Knew When to Keep Silent-No Dis
semblIng-Only One Way-MOre
Deadly-Sarcastic Etc, Etc.
He called her tootsy wootsy, love
And birdy, like all men
But when he came home late at night
He didn't call her then.
New York World.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03

On the Belgian State railways fares
are lower than anywhere else in
Europe.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03

Seventy-five per cent. Of the enlist
ments in the regular army last year
were Of Americans.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03

In time Of war France puts $40 out
of every 1000 OF her population IN the
hsldi Germany, 0l0i Russia, 2l0,
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03

California hos just adopted the
golden poppy as the State flower.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
REASON ENOUGH.

Hall Roome-'I've given up board
ing, old man."
Upton Flats "What forP"
Hall Roome-''Well, the landlady
wanted her money"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03

SARCASTIC.
'Toughnut is dead" "
"Well, he's better off"
$50 they say. Did you know his
wife "-Life.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
RArzs OF ADVERTISING,

One Square, one inch, one insertion. = : 81
One Square, one inch, one months gW
One Square, one inch three months. 90
One Square one inch, one year ...., 10 Q
Two SquarSs, one year.. ...,...... 10 %
Quarter Column, one year ar....,....... BO 0S
Half Column, one year ....,......,..s 20 %
One Column. one wear. -. 100 10
Legal ADVERTISEMENTS ten cs7ts psr hae
each insertion
Marriages and death notices gratis.
Ali bills for yearly advertisements coneoenS
quarterly. Temporary Advertisements nzsst
b paid in advance.
Job work-cash on delivery.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
NO DESCENDING.

Amy-"What did you do when he
proposed?"
Louisa-"Ohl I just grappled on
TO him l"--Puck.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
NOT A BARGAIN.

NOT A BARGAIN.
'fThe entire family refer to Ethel's
husband as His Highness.
eyes; suppose they all know what
he cost. Puck.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-07-03
ONLY ONE WAY.

ONLY ONE WAY.
"Does your wife talk in her sleepf"
eyes; presume she sleeps"
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1895-07-11
NOTICE.

Under and by virture of an order
made in the action of the Bank of
Wayne ct ais, VS. The ARGUS PUBLISH
ING COMPANY ct al, pending on
Wayne Superior Court by Judge W.
S. OBJ. Robinson at chambers in
G~oldsboro, y. c., on July 8, 1895, 1 Of
fer for sale the entire property of The
ARGUS PUBLISHING COMPANY, of
G~oldsboro, N. c., consisting of com
plete newspaper and job printing put
fit and material together with the good
will and subscription, job printing and
advertising business of THE ARGUS
PUBLISHING COMPANY. The said
property will be sold privately if sold
before Aug. 9th, 1895, or publicly for
cash at the printing house of The AR
GUS PUBLISHING COMPANY in Colds
boro, N. G., on said Aug. 9, 1895 at 10
O'Clock m, if not privately sold before
that date.
An opportunity is presented for the
purchase ola valuable business consist
ing OF a daily and weekly newspaper,
and a job printing business.
H. B. PARKER,
July y, 1873. Receiver.
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1895-07-11

bond-holders of the East has be-
come an anachronism. The men
who, when boys, have gone to
public schools know that one
member CT the body cannot suffer
without involving the whole, and
that to dam up the enriching
fountains of gold that flow from
the East is simply suicide, And,
above all, the West should
remember that capital thrives on
cofdence and stability. 1t must
have perfect faith in the integrity
of those that handle it, and if it
bellies that any large class of our
people is ready to temper with it's
promise or connive at evasion or
suffer the sacret obligation of a
promise to.be frittered away, then
capitol will make it's exit, and
prosperity with it
eve cannot afford to disregard
European opinion in treating
affairs, whether that opinion
meets with our views or not. AS
individuals dealing in great
communities to their mutual sat-
isfaction must be tolerant of each
others opinions, so must it be
with nations. Of course, we know
more than all Europe combined
that goes without saying but
until we have had an opportunity
by gentle treatment and con-
fdence, to dispel European
errors, what ever they may be,
we must humor them to the best
OF our ability. There are many
dealers in the great centers of
the European continent who fear
that we may some day break faith
them. We should be careful that
no slipshod expression of pet
ulant irritation shall encourage
such a heresy. Let US keep our
name unfinished, even by sus-
picion, and the rest will follow"
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1895-07-11
Dudley Flashes.
Dudley. N. c., July 9.

Miss Annie Kornegay spent
Wednesday here with friends and
relatives.
P. B. Bowden went down to
Faisons Sunday visiting friends.
Mrs. D. N. McGee, of Colds
boro, is visiting her parents near
here.
There was only a few of our
people at Seven Springs on the
Fourth of July.
w. P. Hall, of Greenville, was
in our town Monday.
). w. Grady went up to Colds
boro Thursday on business.
Capt. J. S. Matthes and family
went down to Magnolia Sunday
on a visit to relatives.
Mrs. D. r. Perry is visiting at
Mt Olive.
J. W. Daily, of Angle was in
u midst Sunday.
Our watermelon growers think
that they will be able to load a
car of watermelons by the Goth
inst, or before. J. B. F.
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1895-07-11
NOTICE!

Notice is hereby given to all
persons concerned, that l have
been appointed Receiver by the
Superior Court of Wayne Coun-
ty. North Carolina, of The
Argus Publishing Company. All
persons indebted to said Com
pany will make payment to me
and all persons holding claims
against said Company will pre-
sent the same to me to be filed
and paid in their order.
II. b. PARKER, JR.,
Receiver.
July 9, 1895.
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1895-07-11
Pikeville Letter.

P1KEv1LLE, N. c., July 9. '95
Dear Argus:-Our farmers are
about done laying by" corn.
MI. R. B. Dempsey, of your
city. spentThnrsday with friends
in our town.
Mrs. Rufus Edmundson, of
Smithheld, who has been spend
ing some days here on a visit to
her father Mr.. j. P. Smith, re-
turned home Saturday.
Frank Weston gave his Do
ramic exhibition here Friday and
Saturday nights which was high
ly enjoyed by all who attended.
MI. E.. M. Chamberlain, of
your city, was in town Thursday
on a business visit.
MI. r. ]. Smith left Friday for
Clinton where he will spend a
few days on a visit to his sister
Mrs. ]. G.. johnson.
Misses Alice and Roxy earn
ner, of S~aulston, were in town
Sunday on a visit to friends.
MI. and Mrs. R. H. Smith and
children, who have been visiting
relatives in Fork township res
turned home Sunday.
Mr.. S. F, Worrell and his good
lady and Miss Rosa Ezzell re-
turned home Thursday from a
pleasant visit to relatives and
friends in the country.
Misses Laura Barden, Laura
and Bette Edgerton, of Pink
ney, were among us Sunday,
the guests of Miss Emily Smith.
J. F. II.
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1895-07-11
CONDENSED News.

Terry Tufft, his wife and three
children were upset in a sail
boat on Lake Kenka, near Bath,
N. Y, and all were drowned.
Three burglars were shot at
Brazil, Ind, Monday night. One
named Harker. was killed, and
another, Arch Ager, was fatally
wounded.
MA Buzzard's Bay dispatch says
everything is moving along
nicely at Gray.Gables as. re-
CARDS oMrs. Cleveland and her
little daughter.
Three hundred thousand dol
lars worth of furniture and gen.
eral merchandise was DESTROYED
by fire in a storage warehouse
in Chicago last night. Three
fremen we're injured by bricks
and glass.
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1895-07-11

Sound Reasons Given for a Revival In all
Branches of Commerce by Practical
Business Men of the Metropolis. StroBg
Feeling Displayed on the Money Guess
ton. One Bank President Who Fav0rs
Free Silver. Others Are Opposed to
the Craze.