Waterbury evening Democrat., 1895-07-13
THAT TYPEWRITER.
LETTER FROM A MAN WHO WANTED
 HIS BACK.

FtIS BACk.
 Tho Man Who Was Repairing It Felt
 Hurt, but That Did Not Prevent the
 Writer From Going Into History and
 Giving the Facts In tho Case.
 The undersigned has been asked to contribute something neat ill prose or verse to the coming Typewriters' Fair and Exposition of Typewriting Ma chimes, of which I know nothing, MT. Bolivar Lickshingle has had some cor, respondence with a typewriter company and kindly gives mo permission to use letter which he has just transmitted to the firm, to wit:
 II have your amiable favor of the 9th inst, in which you claim that you have not had my typewriter at your factory, where you have been repairing it, for as long a period as alleged. Also you seem hurt about it,
 Let us take the wings of morning. yesterday morning-and the Balkan des- ert pierce. And there amid the continu- ous woods where rolls the Oregon and hears no sound save its own dashing-I will not try to lose you've will sit down, brush away the cobwebs of the past and talk this matter over
 "You will not deny, of course, that you took possession of my disabled type writer about the time that Abraham journeyed into the land of Canaan and went into the lucrative busin..~ graz ing sheep and cattle on the public lands. Little Isaac was born to him, and Isaac begat Jacob, and Jacob begat l2 sons of his own, and still you were tinkering away at my typewriter. Shovel the dust of ages from your records and see ifi am not right.
 ''I It was on the very day that Moses and Joshua camo down from the noun tain that you had letter from the fac tory reporting progress as to the repairs on my machine, At that period you in formed me that the factory was work ing night and day on the cylinder head, which you claimed had been blown out, and which was part of the disable ment- do not wish to complain, but any man with typewriter at that peri cd could have made a nice thing taking down the laws of Moses as he thundered them on Mount Sinai But my machine was i'll your factory and inaccessible to me Right there was at least $7 worth of work which you deprived me of, and, as for Moses, he was compelled to chisel his laws ill the solid rock. And yet it is your view that have no right to com plnln
 "Could l have gotten my machine from you then, or any time during that stirring epoch, would not have said a word about it. But other epochs and cons came and went and still you did 1 not return it.
 Moses had been a long time dead, | the city of Jericho had fallen, David ! had licked Goliath, Absalom was slain, and Solomon had begun to build the tcmple-and still you kept tinkering away at my typewriter,
 About this time Solomon wrote his l Song and the book of Proverbs, but with my machine ill your factory there was no rake off for me. Solomon took his pen in hand and spelled out every solemn, sacred line of his literary work. What pudding that would have been for man with q machine!
 1 Solomon went ahead with his tenn | pie, Besides making the people bring | gold and silver and precious stones, each man according to his wealth., he put | 1000 men to work. From Phnnicia he brought carvers in wood ill stone ] them and made them buckle down to l business In seven years the temple was | finished and the same was dedicated by d grand festival There Was high old 1 time with songs and speeches-but nary typewriter upon which to transcrihe them
 'Solcmon rcigncd for many years, i painting things red in the meantime. I And he died Still there was no type writer and another good chance at regu- | lar rates was lost
 As 1 interpret the records, chewed | by the tooth of time, it was about this epoch that you wrote me saying that the Babylonians working on my machine had discovered that the comma was in a state of coma, the eXclaimer gave forth hollow sound and the interroga- tion point had curvature of the spine. To bring these several parts around SC that each would perform its proper function you asked for little more time
 Ut was not until Nebuchadnezzar had destroyed Jerusalem that you wrote me to the effect that your workmen had made the painful discovery that the up per case "s'' in my machine was crook ed and that the period had elapsed You begged for more time and got it. It was as cheerfully granted as the cash fer of bank extends the time on note.
 'Tnis brings us gayly down to the birth of Christ-and still you were mon keying away on my machine
 "It was some time during the second century of the Christian era that you re piled to letter ill which you stated I that Ch1nSS were progressing smooCnly as to the repairs, and that the outlook was all that the most exacting could ex act Waiting for this machine, wt touched elbows with Cleopatra and tht Caesars, with Elagabalus, Mark An tony and his sister Sue. Time sped on Centuries and cycles hurtled by. For Sumter was frod on The earth grew old and dry and crackly and the Chicago fire broke out. Also the war broke out between China and Japan. Lii Hung Chang effected peace. although shot ir the jaw while doing it.