Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1895-05-29
TEACHING SCHOOL
In the State of Edgefield.--A
Witty Description of Howa
Young Teacher Made His
Debut.
Ncwberry Collegian.

Palmetto State to seek my fortune
as district school-teacher in this
illustrious estate of Edgefeld.''
Beng fresh from school, Twas con-
stantly reviewing nay college life
and vivid recollection of the
ease with which my learned teach
ers instiEled thoughts or wisdom
into the minds of my class mates
was especially interesting to me
so much SO that this command
was ever ringing in my ears: "Go
thou and do likewise" So being
touched by a sense of duty and
knocked down with sense of ne
cessity, I decided to be district
school-teacher. Having gained
nv own consent, I at once set
about to train myself. I now be-
gin to transact all of my business
in a high-handed domineering sort
of way, and with NY head prop
ped up with assumed dignity
would pass all my former associ-
ates by in silent contempt. I also
began to regulate my diet, by re-
fusing to drink anything but sour
milk, or to eat anything but sauer-
kraut and pickles, SO that l might
not be lacking in the most essen.
tial qualification, ''crabbincss."
After pursuing the above course
of treatment for few weeks | con-
sidered myself in apple-pie order,
so 1 hang out my shlngle and
modestly await q call. 1t wasn't
long before, from away over in the
wilds of Edgefeld, this call faint.
lv sounds IN my ears: "Mr. Bill
Snooks, arise and give your most
earnest heed. Will you take this,
our school, to be your lawful school
and solemnly promise to try to
make the children love, honor and
obey you? if so, answer / will"
Now the call had come, so l got
upon stump, and putting one
hand to my mouth [ answered 81
will" After short pause there
comes back on the gentle breezes
these sympathetic and yet sugges-
tive words: "May the good Lord
bless thee, and protect and keep
thee from bodily harm at the
hands of our children! Amen"
There was nothing for me to do
now but to pack my valise, b.,
shaking out the dust, and buckling
the straps Il little tighter. and to
be gone. L was soon on the train
and was fast being borne from my
native State to that unknown
country, Edgefeld. After Il few
davs I had reached the end of my
tiresome journey, and had found a
most pleasant boarding place at
the home of Mr.. Jeremy Smith.
This was on Saturday evening, so
I circulated the report that l
would start my school on the fol-
lowing Monday morning. Being
from another State, AID 8. perfect
stranger to all, I thought that
some kind of a speech would be
expected from me; SO I began
blinking and thinking, and hiking
and writing, and studying with
| a1TdiHgence. I spent nearly al.
of Saturday night in writing one
for I thought that all the trustees
patrons, preachers, doctors, law
yers, squires and esquires in the
State would be there. Oh, I put
forth an extra effort in it's prepar.
ton, and l can truly say without
boasting that it was indeed q
touching paper. 1t began some
thing like this: "N1y dear little
children: 1t is needless to say
that to me you are all perfect
strangers; but this morning as |
look upon your sweet up-turned
faces, l see playing there merry
smiles of good nature which seem
to me to be breathing forth your
perfect willingness to lend your
hearty cooperation in making our
associations pleasant, ETC." After
much writing and rewriting, pic
turing and word-painting, scrub
bing up and oiling, rubbing down
and polishing, embellishing and
expanding, contracting and con-
densing, bluffing and putting it, it
apparently pleased my ftful fan.
cy, so I went to bed to dream OF
my new and untried work.
Monday morning came in due
season, and with it my duties as
teacher in one of the largest school
districts in the State of Edgeield.
When I reached the schoolhouse
on that eventful morning, I found
it full to overfowing, and still
they kept coming. I saw sitting
out under an old oak all by them
selves twelve or fifteen men. These
I took to be the trustees of the
school, SO I got out to where they
are, and make myself known. A
long pause now follows, after
which one of them says: "What
did yer say yer name wus, buddy?"
1 proudly replies, "Snooks." 81
meant yer tother name,'' says he.
I then told him that my given
name was nothing more than
"Bill." "Guess yer air named af-
ter yer daddy" says he. | tod
him that 1 expect l was, as my
father was about forty years older
than myself. "Umph you needn't
try to be so drctted smart about it..
See If yer can tell me the time O.
I I