Frederick citizen., 1895-02-15
THE FUNNY PEOPLE.


Who killed cock robin" IT," said
the sparrow. well, who hypnotized
u?"-Detroit Tribune.
Does Blinkins understand horse
racing?' HE must. I never see him
at the ."-Washingto Star.
-
This" remarked the rat as the trap
fell, this is the worst l ever had
sprung on me. e."-Indianapols Journal
"I'll tell you tale that is positively
hair-raising in" For Juplter's sake
tell it to Gibson-he's bald-headed."-
Tid-Bits.
Editor-Some how or other don't
see the sense of this thing. Poet-My
dear sir, that's poetry.-Atlanta Con-
stitution.
Madam" said the old rooster to
the hen that was making an attempt
to crow. you seem to be trying to
unhen yourself."-Chicago Tribune.
Bugglns-Does Goldstein take much
interest in business? Muggins-I
should say he did. He's a pawn
Observation-Disclosures Record.
The decision of a Baltimore Judge
that stealing a cat Is not larceny was
doubtless influenced by the probabil-
ity that the cat would come back
Kansas City Journal.
which do you think is correct?"
asked the studious young woman. Il
would rather go home. or I had rather
go homer" Neither" replied Cholly
Nairgo. I'D rather stay here
Washington Star
Carleton-How did you enjoy your.
self at Mrs. Hamilton's last night?
Cinicus-First-rate; there wasn't
song or recitation sprung on us dur
ing the entire evening.-Tid-bits.
How shall we serve that new mis-
sionary?' asked the chef. "As hash.
L guess" said the King Of Mbwpka.
He told me that the Presbytery had
roasted him just before he left home"
Indianapolis Journal.
riages between cousins. Marie-Why
not? Maud-Because IL you marry
your cousin your own children are
scarcely related to you. They are only
your second cousins.-Tid-Bits.
The students OF the University of
Michigan are forming clubs qualifica-
ton to membership of which is that
each student shall allow his whiskers
to grow. This Is the meanest blow at
the new woman" which has yet been
struck.-Louisville Courier-Journal.
Mrs Naborly-What on earth are
you going to invite that odlous Mrs.
Smithins to your swell dinner for?
I thought you hated her. Mrs. Sweet
thing-Do you suppose I'm going to
give a $2O-a-plate dinner and not make
her see me act as hostess at it?-Chi-
cago Record.
TITS all we'll to talk about issuing
bonds of $40 EACH" remarked Mr.. Du-
kane, but that is not the way
to induce women to buy" What
would you adviser" asked Mr.. Gas
well. LET Secretary Carlisle advertise
bonds at $9.9S, marked down from $10'
Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph
Geltheimer-I don't see Wy Cohen
stein should be nearly crazed nit ghrief
over Hocheimer's failure; his engage
ment nit Hocheimer's daughter was
broken off a month pefore. Silver
stein-Yes; und dot vos Wy Cohen
stein vas kicking himselluf; it vos he
vot brok der enga agement.-Puck.
The foxy boy applied for a job. do
you want a boy?" he asked of the mag
nate of the Office. standing before him
cap in hand. Nobody wants a boy"
replied the magnate. eying him sharp
ly. do you need a boy?" asked the
applicant. nowise a6ashed. Nobody
needs a boy" came the discourag glng
reply. The boy stuck his cap on the
back Of his head. well. say, mister"
he inquired, do you have to have a
boy?" The magnate collapsed. I'm
sorry to say we do" he said, "and I
guess you're about what we want
Detroit Free Press.