Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1895-02-20
MEDICAL HUMOR.
He-My wealthy uncle is very siok.
What shall do?
She-Send for minister.

WnaI snail dor
She-Send for a minister.
DR.. Huggins-A German soientist
has discovered that men are becoming
scarce, and that in three thousand years
there will be but one man to every two
hundred and twenty women.
Dr. Kissame-I wish my birth had
been postponed few thousand years.
Flatte-"Whenever my wife lis sick
and we have no cook I always get
breakfast
streete-"T did not know you could
cook"
Flatte-"No more can l."
Streete-"Then how the mischief do
you get breakfast fit to eat ?"
Flatte--" go to the restaurant for
it"
Indignant Customer-"That One
Minute Toothaohe Cure you sold me
is fraud, do You hear? It took it
almost half an hour to aot."
Druggist-"How long did 1t ease
your tooth?''
About minute"
"Yes; that Is the one minute part of
it."
There is good story told of Hart
fordshire farmer. A few nights ago he
went home late and drank pint of
yeast in mistake for buttermilk. He
rose three hours earlier the next morn
ing.
Teacher-"How many bones have
you in your body, Jimmie ?" Jimmie
1.-Two hundred and nine" Teacher
But the other pupils have not so
many" Jimmie-"Well, they amt
had fish for dinner like me-"
Author-I am troubled with insom-
mia. lay awake at night, hour after
hour, thinking about my literary work.
Friend-Why don't you get up and
read portions Of it?
He said-"She is regular peach"
When he wanted to make her his own;
She proved that the statement was
| true,
For he found that her heart was a
stone.
Patient-I am troubled with in.
somnia. Is that bad sign?
Young M. Doh. no. anyone that
has insomnia is sure to be troubled by
it,
His trouble. e.-Guppins- Billings, you
look as if you had been losing sleep.
Billings (whose room is just above
music -teacher's)-I have. suffer un-
told misery at night from chronic
guitar.
The following testimonial of GER
tain patent medicine speaks for itself:
Dear Sir-two months ago my wife
could scarcely speak; she has taken
two bottles Of your Life Renewer, and
now she can't speak at all. Please send
me two more bottles. wouldn't be
without it. -
You may wonder at the seeming alb
surdity of the following oateohism Of
the small boy Of the coming years, says
the Hampshire Gazette" but who
will dare say that it is so very far out
of the way' The pupils Of our future
schools are supposed to submit to this
examination:
Teacher-"Johnny, have you got
certificate of vaccination for small
pox?"
"Yes SIR"
"Have you been inooulated for
croup?"
Eyes sir.''
Been treated with diphtheria
serum?"
Eyes, SIR"
"Had your arm scratched with
cholera baoilli?"
"Yes, sir"
"Have you written guarantee that
you are proof against whooping- cough.
measles, mumps, scarlet fever, and
old age?"
Eyes. SIR"
"Have you your own private drink.
ing cup?"
Eyes, SIR"
"Do you promise not to exchange
sponges with the boy next to you. and
never use any but your own penoil?''
Eyes, sir.'
"Wiu you agree to have your books
fumigated with sulphur, and sprinkle
your clothes with chloride of lime once
: week."
"Yes, sir.'
Johnnie, you have met the first re-
quirements Of the modern sanitarians
! and may now climb over yonder rail,
occupy an isolated aluminium seat and
begin making P's and Q's as your first
lesson"
I Scientists are now telling us that the
dangerous microbe is lurking in the
greenback. "Those in arrears for SUBJ