The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1895-07-25
IS 9

This gave the game to the fats by
score Of Is to II in three innings of
play. Tie fats had A. Butler and VIM
Larson 20 fill places as men dropped
by the wayside from excitement of Il
home run, or q peeled nose, while b
Scott helped the raw bOned aggrega-
ton. The manner in which Rev.
Stokesbury, Judge Pussy, d. Walsh
and other fat men slugged the pig
skin was q caution. Some of the fell
lows who appeared on the diamond
with more of "a grin on their counten-
ance than tallow on their ribs were
enjoying themselves hugely when
the Elder picked up the stick.
However, that grin shriveled rs rap
idly as if a hot south wind had struck
it, for the man of cloth made a three
Dagger, and landed safely on third
base.
For the Leans, treasurer Olson
showed up well behind the bat, al
though he got a cut on the face from
a broken mask, and clerk of courts
Smith gracefully chased some long
hits by the heavy men. The game
was good one, enjoyed both by
players and spectators. OF course
the leans would have won flight
here's where the trouble commenced.
Captain n. Johnson summoned to-
gether his players, and they unanL
mOusly decided it was the fault of
that poor, misguided wart, called
umpire. p. Coquillette, who don't
really know a base ball bat from one
OF J. p. Cuttings radishes moved
that a committee be appointed to
draft appropriate resolutions to
prove to the world how they had
been misused. Gene Cottrell, who
seldom says anything, broke through
his usual reserve, and seconded the
motion. She went through with a
whoop, and well-to see those fellows
laugh, you'd a'thOught it had rained!
That committee was appointed and
the following resolutions passed,
which, as the Leans think squares
them with the world, We reproduce,
and like Messrs. Horr and Harvey
in their financial debate we consider
it too trivial to take up any of our
time in answering:
"Resolved-Thatt there is a gibber-
ing idiot in Miller with polka dot
head, who had been elevated to the
throne of base ball umpire, but it
is an undisturbed scientific fact that
he cannot tell a strike from an es-
trayed broncho that has wintered on
buffalo grass.
The man ager OF On ungraceful and
disproportioned gang OF loafers
known as Fats succeeded in plac-
ing this obstacle to human progress
in the exalted position of umpire,
where this picturesque relic of Boss
allowed the said ungalnly
crowd to make homestead filing upon
any point of the game they needed
IN their business, and when the game
was about won by the graceful gen
tlemen of such weight and stature,
that they are irrevocably opposed to
boomers, the said umpire ruled that
q curved ball was Objectionable, be-
cause it was manifest that the pitch
er purposely intended to deceive the
batter, whereas our daddies had es-
tablished a straight ball as the
unit" and the curved ball had sur
reptitiously crept into the game, to
the detriment of the masses who used
the straight ball for its intrinsic val
Tie, while the curved ball was only a
promise never redeemed.
1t was brutal revival OF the creed
and practices of SO, when every rut
was a creek, every pond lake, every
draw rushing, roaring river, and