davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
THE WORLD OF HUMoR.
Some of the --latest and Best Things
From the Pens of Our Most
Noted Funny Men.
Everybody Ena.sipatsdi

Wife-I thought You were going to
stay at home with the children tonight
while | went to the meeting Of the
Emancipated Woman's league.
Husband-l did intend to, Lucills,
dear, but at the last moment this after
noon received notice of the preliminary
meeting Of the Emancipated Mems as
sociation.
Wife-Well, what's to become Of the
children?
Husband-Oh! I've arranged that.
They're going to the regular Thursday
night social of the Emancipated
Youths society.-Judge.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
Benefits of High Rui,d,ny.

Little Miss Freckles-Did youse move
ap to the top floor because you is get
tin poor?
Little Miss Mugg-Course not. Pop
has got interested in astronomy, and
wanted to be where he could see the
moon close.-Good News.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05

Cawller-The quartctte at our church
has rare appreciation of the fitness of
things
Cumso-That's a good quality in o
luartette.
Cawker-That's what it is. Last Sum
day, after DR.. Thirdly took his seat,
having preached sermon one hour and
a quarter long, the quartette arose and
sang that dear old hymn beginning:
And are we still alive?"- Judge.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
A New European Feat

Walking backwards is the latest
pedestrian feat for wager A young
Belgian recently walked from Antwerp
to Brussels in two days, going back.
wards the whole time. Practice made
him progress as rapidly as by the ordi
nary mode of walking, but he was OBJ
Eged to wear special shoes with kind
of heel underneath the toe.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
Emotional.

"Jabworth is most ridiculously senti-
mental. When that fellow at the min
strels sung My Sweetheart of Long
Ago the other night Jabworth actually
shed tears
Eyes. His breach-of-promise suit
comes to trial next week. "-Indianap-
oils Journal.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
Did the Best She Could.

Mother-What is that you are draw
ing?
Little Daughter-That's picture of
Adam and Eve, an the apple tree, an
the serpent.
But you have given Eve a hoop
skirt, and dressed Adam in knee
breeches."
We'll, they was the oldest fashions
could think of."-Good News.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
Drumming lin Trade.

Cora-What made the congregation
smile when the deacon was speaking
on the necessity of strict observance
of Lent?
Merritt-Because in private life the
good man is fish dealer. Judge.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
A Misunderstanding.

Lawyer Ito client)-I defended you
once before-let me see, was it not
case of swindling?
Client (warmlyl-Of course it was!
paid you thirty marks, and got
six weeks, Notwithstanding
Blaetter
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
In n Christian Land.

What cannibal you arey said the
seedy humorist at the free lunch
counter.
me, sah?" demanded the Georgia
colonel. ''What do you mean, sah?"
Eating a cracker, you know" re-
Joined the other, making his escape
through the side door.-Chicago Trib-
une.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
The Retort Social.

Little Miss Mugg-I just want you to
know that don't 'sociate with the
likes o you.
Little Miss Backcourt-Yo needn't
be SO uppish, just because your nose is.
Good News.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
Memory and Observation.

Little Brother-You mustn't Civ the
dog so much meat. 1t will make him
vicious.
Little Sister-How do you knowP
Little Brother-I've heard so; and.
besides, I've noticed that the teacher
always brings meat for her lunch
Good News.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
'tainly not" she replied.
Necessary FERMENTATION,

"I'm going to have that Office" said
the professional politician, savagely,
aft it takes a fortune to get it."
very well, sir" said the astute cam
paign manager. 81 will go out at once
and announce that you absolutely de-
cline to run. Chicago Record.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05

Magistrate severely - You are
charged with kissing this young lady
against her will, and on the public
highway.
Prisoner-She was in bicycle cos
tune, and l mistook her for my long
lost brother.
Magistrate (briskly) - Discharged
Call tn next case.-N. Y. Weekly.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
In Washington City.

Guest-The water in your hotel is
something dreadful.
Landlord-That doesn't make anv
difference. Almost all my guests are
members OF a delegation from Ken.
tucky.-Texas Siftings.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
Upset Him somewhat.

Tuthicl- How did you come to spill
that soup?
Waiter-A lady tipped MEN,. Y.
journal.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
MlscELIANEous FRI


EIDELTrY AND DEPOSIT co,,1@
l. MARYLAND onfANl O
sAs
Becomes Security on FIDELITY
C!AL Bonds-Corporation IL ! and I'M
best. security S%S
Because LIT relieves business
soils possessing property s sno N
necessity of saying ING @OaS
at enables heirs and ne,to,
become trustees execn,al kh
administrators. 'on NJ
Sit relieves persons reor,u
bonds from incurrine nSSI oEs
py asking friends M beaagaanaE
curly Tor them, and ph,ome
would feel bound 10 rao9ah Ia h
when the opportunity camIp focs
't em P5esenss undue Influence o..
bit insures a Supervision
bonded. over u
0'-i Ids guarantees prompt payment !.
iOSScS -eut M
lit affords persons OF M nro
friends of financial stanpsssitg d
obtain positions of trlst auag d
lument. "Hu enc
S.-When once adopted if 10
abandoned. 10 heva|
Sit has for its directors some
best known aud most Snhs,oOIl y
men ofthe Sta, e. ana for itS nata
the following gentlemen: 'HiCen
Lloyd l.. jackson, Pres; w. Crawford p,...
Edwin Warfield, Presidents. aa naef
e. Boser, Secretary and Treasurer; WintalIaa
Hammond, General Counsel n WinaaIA
| Williams, Assistant Counsel
Ifyou have bond ofany description to 81.
call at my office and get rates before ooiIsa |
friends WI might for reasons best lt 1v,us
themselves be compelled to say ''No " ''"u5
w. IRVING PARSONS,
Real Estate & Loan AGENT
Mutual Insurance 8uid,n,
FIR derrick. M
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
SHOES.

=, we cant forget the children. This summer
they are the best that have ever been on he
market; there Is a larger variety to select from
Doth ~ tan and black. Don't forget the "Old
Carlisle Shoe" ~"
we also carry a very large assortment of
trunks, Satchels, Telescopes. Valises and
Umbrellas and most everything you can find
IN hfstclass shoe establishment
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
Ringers Of City Life.

First Citizen-The spirit of anarchy
can only be found in large cities.
Second Citizen-Guess that's so. A
man never feels like slaughtering the
whole human race until he lives in
fat, with piano above and baby be.
low.-N. Y. Weekly.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
True to Her Profession.

Nay" said the young editress, coldls
to her penniless lover, TASK me not to
break every tradition of my chosen call
ing-I cannot return your love-for it
is unaccompanied by stamps!"-Life.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
Measure of His Affection.

"Miss Elsie, am in love with You
way over my ears!"
but my cousin George told me the
same thing!"
That may be, but have the largest
earsF'-Sheflield Telegraph.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
Good Advice.

II believe I'll take off my fannels,"
observed one of the boys about the
house when the first mild day came.
You'd better stick to your flannels,
my boy" said Uncle Allen, until your
fannels stick to you" Chicago Trib-
une.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
Tenderness Wasted.

Sorry to disappoint you, miss" said
che turnkey to the young woman who
had called with the basket of flowers,
"but we haven't any murderers in the
jail to-day. Chicago Tribune
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
Makes n Difference.

Johnny-I'd be ashamed to make all
that fuss about havin' tooth pulled.
Tommy-So would l If it was your
tooth!-Chicago Tribune.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
ID UST HA VEINS
CONDITION POWDERS

Is exactly what every Stocls-keeper ana PouI.
try Raiser needs. No Poultry or Stock X eeper
can afford to be without II
II cures disease and keeps stock and Fowit
Healthy. Contains no antmony or anythip
harmful. IL moi a feed bui an honest medicin
al an honest price. Interesting circulars ire
on application.
mv5 RESANT 4 KNOTT
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
Perfectly simple.

Patron This vest is too tight around
the waist
Tailor That's because you throw
your shoulders back too much.
Patron-And the coat fits too tight
around the shoulders.
Tailor-0h! well, you shouldn't stooy
over so.-Chicago Record.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
He Was Positive There.

'The colonel isn't fond of trinkets,
Is hep"
mo; but he always insists on bead
on his whisky. Atlanta Constitution.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
Uncertain.

Now doth the presidential bee.
Buzz forth his hopeful sonnet,
But fit with sad, Inconsistency
From bonnet unto bonnet
-Washington Star
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
We Mother-in-Law as She Is.

Grocer-You seem to be living mostly
on canned goods lately.
Mr.. Newwed tsadly)-Yes; my wife's
mother is away.-N. Y. Weekly.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
SHOES FOR MEN.

Gentlemen, when you think of purchasing
shoes which are all the go this season. why
give us a call and you will find the largest
stock to select from in the city" styles, we
Will give you ali idea; there is the needle, pic
cadllly, opera, razor toes and many Others in
all colors of Tan you can possibly think of.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
HATS.

IL is time to lay aside that heavy felt or wooden
nat You have been bearing all winter and think
OF getting yourself or child stylish straw
nat. We have just received large invoice O
Hats for Men. Boys and hi dren; the styles are
broad brim sailor for the three y, ar old to the
looked "
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
II,rvt ST.

The bride invites on nuptial tribute bent.
All her old friends. and those acquired but
newly.
And cares not II their presence they present,
So long as they present their presents duly,
PUCK.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
4 Ilotne WISH.

MSSwatters-I hear that Skiply is go
ing to settle in New York?
S!liply's Tailor wish he had set
tied here rst.-Syracuse Post.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
Concentrated.

For concentrated selfishuess,
There's nothing meath the sun.
Like two souls with but single thought,
Two hearts that beat as one.
Detroit Tribune.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
Circumstances Alter Cases.

Maud-Is Mr.. Merton still paying at
tention to your daughter9
Mr.. Goldbug- Why, good gracious,
mol He's not paying her any attention
at all now. THEY'RE married.-Judge.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
Very SnlfAfnI

"Doyou believe that Pushem's daugh-
ter was REALLY engaged to Prince Isin.
CLASP"
Certainly not" she replied.
"Why?"
1.-The prince was never known to be
financially embarrassed in his life. -
Truth.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
Ready for Emergencies.

Mamma-My dear, what are you do
ing?
Little Daughter-MakinG dolly for
my little sister.
Mamma-But you haven't any little
sister.
Little Daughter-No, not yet; but
Sally Stuckup has just got one, and
know we always get everything the
Stucllups do.-Pearson's
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
LRoAL NOTICES. Erc.
NIsI ON AUDIT.

ORDER NIsI ON AUDIT.
No 6ll4 EQUITY.
In the Circuit Court Tor Frederick County, sit
ting in Equity.
Jacob 8. Burrier ct al vs.. ]. Newton Maynard,
executor, Eliza A. Burrier, widow, ct al.
in the matter of the Auditors Report filed the
18th day of March, 1895.
ORDERED, That on the 9Th day OF April,
1895, the Court will proceed to act upon the ne
port of the Auditor, filed as aforesaid. IN the
above cause, 10 finally ratify and connrm the
same, unless cause TO the contrary Thereon De
shown before said day; provided copy OF this
order be inserted in some newspaper puonsneu
in Frederick county, for two successive weeks
prior TO said day
Dated this 10Th day of March, 1895.
JOHN L. JORDAN,
Clerk of the Circuit Court for Frederick county
True copy-Test: JOHN L. JORDAN,
Clerk.
sroNER & MorTER, Solicitor. Tmar22-3t.
ORDER NIsl ON AUDIT
No. 1888 EQUITY.
ting in Equity.
John G. Motter and Alexander Neil, trustees,
VS.. Upton C. Darby and wife.
MARCH TERM, 1895.
In the matter of the Auditors Report filed the
10Th day of March, 1895.
ORDERED, That on the 9th dav of April,
1896, the Court will proceed to act upon the Re-
port of the Auditor, filed as Aforesaid, in the
above cause. 10 finally ratify and confirm the
same, unless cause TO the contrary thereof be
shown before said day provided copy OF
this order be inserted in some newspaper pub.
lished in Frederick County, for two success
sive weeks prior to said day.
Dated this 10Th day of March, 1895.
JOHN L. JORDAN,
Clerk of the Circuit Court for Frederick County
True copy-Test: JOHN l.. JORDAN,
Clerk
MoTTER Ri AL, Solicitors. mar 22-3t
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05

ANNlSylLLE wHISKEY.-Eipbt vear
81 - oi9; For medicinal purposes has No
+. v. SrAUR.
lSS N. Market Streei.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
THE OLD AND RELIABLE
SHOE HOUSE.
FREDERICK, MD.
mo GOODS M1SREPREsENTED. "
No. Is N. MARKET STREET.
No. Is N. MARKET STREET.
TO THE LADIES.

Now that winter is passed with ali It's snow
and chilly blast. we beg in to think of those no
therefore we want to do away with those higf
cut shoes we have been wearing to keep u,
warm and think how we can keep ourseye,
cool. Now If you want TO keep COOL which
everybody does, why just purchase a pair O
those easy and "perfect fit Oxford Ties lha
we are offering at such low fl ures this season
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
TMEN SHOULD WEAR
a Conspe ctus Of the Whole FIELD
Of Correct Attire.
AoMs Changes In Coats Spring Shapes
In Hats and the Length of
Mathematician to Order
Easter Clothes.
looPYRIoHr. 1881

ASHlON'S aMn-
ity to folly is its
chief charm in
the min d s Of
men. There Is
that irresistible
delight in the
performance of
foo fish things
which insures a
permanent pop
ularity for love
and dress. Gu
pid and tn g
tai lors would
undoubtedly be
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
GEO. A. GIL BERT.
ID l.. POLK & CO.'S
Maryland and District Of Columbia Gazetteer.

The above work Will co tain n cnref,Ilv com.
biieu llsl OF all the Manufacturers, Farmers
~ ~ slness and Proiessionai People dong bust,
n m,s, throughout the State of Maryland and
B BturS,iNESS DIRE TORY OF BALTlM,IRE
~, ana descriptive Gazetteer of every Post
V ,il, ,l,N, Town and Village ana every exer.
non VIII be made To make II fun and coYmniete
~ every detail and a true reflex of the Apricul.
aai ~, manufacturing and Business prnsperiIy
oi lhe above PAGES, As the work will be thor.
IUusn;y clnvassed throughout the State and
narleu circulaiion, special at enton is called To
i.s eAcehenc> as an Advertising Medium. and
VS. .rusl you VIII give our agent when he calls
an Opportunity TO explain the many adyantas
kes you VIII derive by advertising I'm il : also
address circu airs by s''"in W
X. L. POLK CO.,
publishers Baltimore City Directory.
liz N. Charles ST.. Baltimore. Md.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05
J. & T. COUSINS

handmade Oxfords which sell by their reputa-
ton. you will find after wearing to be the best
oxford you ever had on your foot, they are per-
tect beauties on the feet and as soft as a glove
II you are troubled with those uncomfortable
MS, winch you are always complaining OF Slip
ping in the heel. or TOO tight here or there. try
pair of these which we recommend so highly.
we guarantee satisfaction. Now we can give
you these styles in any color, Tans or Blacks,
for Women, Misses and Children.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05

MARCH TERM, 1895.
In the matter of the Auditors REPORT filed
the 18th day of Ma 'ch, 1895
Ordered, That on the 9th day of April, 1895,
the Court will proceed to act upon the Report
OF the Auditor, filed as aforesaid, in the
above cause, 10 finally ratify and confirm the
SAME, unless cause To the contrary thereof be
shown before said day; provided a copy of this
in Frederick County for three successive weeks
prior to said day.
Dated this 18th day of March, 1896
JOHN l.. JORDAN,
Clerk of the Circuit Court for Frederick County.
True copy-rest. JOHN l.. JORDAN,
MOTHER SToNER, Solicitors. Clerk.
mar. 22-3t.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05

ORDER NISI ON AUDIT.
NO. 1855 EQUITY.
In the Circuit Court for Frederick County sit
ting in Equity.
John G. Motier and Frank l.. Stoner assignees
of Noah T.. Cramer, mortgage of John G.
Burch and wife, on Petition.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1895-04-05

Jacob s. Burrier ct al VS.. ]. Newton Maynard
executor, Eliza A. Burrier, widow, ct 81.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1895-04-13
First pub. March 30, 1855. Last April 90 1895
STATE OF MICHIGAN,
County of Baraga %.

A. u session of the Probate court for the
county of Baragn, holden ut the Probate OF.
flee, in the village of L'Anse on Friday, the
Goth day OF March, in the year one thousand
eight hundred and ninety-five.
Present, Alex q. Shields, Judge of Probate.
In the matter of the estate Of Peter Mcintyre,
deceased.
On reading and filing the petition duly veri.
fed. of Felix Phelen, praying that day may
be set for the hearing of said petition, and
that administration may be granted to Felix
Phelen, or some other suitable person,
Thereupon il Is ordered, that Monday, the
22nd day OF April mt ~ O'Clock in the forenoon.
be assigned for the hearing of said petition.
and that the heirs ut law Of said deceased, and
all other persons Interested in said estate, are
required TO appear nj session of said court,
then TO be holden ut the Probate office, in the
village of L'Anse. and show cause, II any
there be, why the prayer of the petitioner
should not be granted; And IL is further or
dcred, that said petitioner give notice to the
persons interested in said estate, of the pen
dency of said petition, and the hearing thereof,
by causing u copy of this orderto be published
in the L'ANsE SENTINNL, newspaper printed
and circulated In said county of Baraga, foud
l4) successive weeks previous to said day OF
hearing. ALEX. G. SHIELDS,
"a true copy Judge of Probate.
(sEAI,i
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1895-04-13
First pub April 8, 1895, Last May rs, 1895.
cHANCERY NOTICE.

STATE OF MJCHIGAN.-Suit pending in
the circuit court for the county of Baraga, In
chnucery nj L'Anse, Michigan, on the Goth
day of March A. d., 1925, Mary Teahen. com
plainant vs.. Bart Teahen, defendant. In this
cause il appearing from affidavit on file that
the defendant, Bart Teahen,has departed from
his last known place of residence and his resi-.
dence cannot be ascertained, on motion OF
Philip r. McKernan, solicitor for complainant
1t is ordered that defendant enter his appear.
apce in said cause on or before five months
from the date of this order, and that within
twenty days complainant cause this order TO
be published in the L'ANsE SENTINEL, said pub
LEGATION 10 be continued once in each week,
for six weeks in succession, or that she cause
a copy OF this order 10 be personally served on
said nonresident defendant At least twenty
days before the time above prescribed for his
appearance. JA1 y. HIBBELL,
PHILIP r. McKERNAN, Circuit Judge.
solicitor for Complainant
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1895-04-13
STATE OF MICHIGAN,
COUNTY Of BAHA0A.

AT session of the Probate Court for the
county OF Baraga, holden at the Probate Office,
in the village of LAnse, on Thursday, the
twenty-frst day of March, In the year one
thousand eight hundred and ninety-ive.
Present, Alex. q. Shields, Judge OF Probate.
In the matter OF the estate of John Au-ke-
wag-Zence deceased
On reading and Hing the petition, duly veri.
fled, of Charlotte Me-geZince, praying for
reasons herein set forth, that an administrator
may be appointed to the estate of said de-
ceased.
Thercupon II is ordered, that Monday, the
twenty-second day of April. at 10o'clock In the
forenoon, be assigned for the hearing of said
petition, and that the heirs mt law of said de-
ceased, and all other persons interested In said
estate. are required to appear at n session OF
said Court then to be holden mt the Probate
Office, in the village OF LAnse, and show cause
II any there be, why the prayer of the petit
tioner should not be granted: And 1t is further
ordered. that said petitioner give notice to the
persons interested in said estate, of the
pendency of said petition, and the hearing
thereof, by causing copy of this order TO be
published In the L'ANsI SENTINEL, n news
paper printed and ciculated In said county of
Baraga, four az successive weeks previous 10
said day OF hearing
"a true copyD ALEX G.. SHIELDS,
(SeaD Judge of Probate.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1895-04-13
First pub. April 8, 1895. Last April q, 1895
STATE OF MICHIGAN, =.
County of Baraoa

At n session of the Probate Court for the
county of Baraga, holden at the Probate Office,
in the village OF LAnse, on Friday, the fifth
day of April in the year one thousand eight
hundred and nincty-five.
Present. Alex q. Shields, judge of Probate.
In the matter of the estate Of George Pog-in-
O-ge-ziek, deceased.
On reading and filing the petition, duly veri.
fed, OF Catherine Scofeld. praying that day
may be set for the hearing of said petition, and
to determine who are or were at the time OF
his death, the legal heirs of said deceased.
Thereupon IL Is ordered, that Monday, the 9th
day OF May, at 10 o'clock In the forenoon, be
assigned for the hearing of said petition, and
that the heirs at law of said deceased, and all
other persons interested in said estate, are re-
quired TO appear at n session OF said court
then to be holden at the Probate Office, In the
village of L'Anse. and show cause, II any
there be, why the prayer of the petitioner
should not be granted: And IL is further Or
dered, that said petitioner give notice to the
persons interested In said estate, OF the pend
ency OF said petition. and the hearing thereof
by causing n copy OF this order TO be published
In THE L'ANsE SENTINEL, n newspaper printed
and circulated In said county of Baraga, four
t4) successive weeks previous to said day OF
hearing. ALEX. q. SHIELDS,
lsEALl Judge OF Probate
IA TRUE coPYl