davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1895-02-09
puNagNT PARAGRAPHS.


--"Ah, half de wurl' lives by pullin
de othah half's laigs," sighed Uncle
Kiah, as he softly reached for the mid
night hen. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
-Tough-"I want dozen eggs, an
I wants 'cm bad, see?' Go to that
grocer across the street Everything
he keeps is bad. d."-Philadelphia In.
quirer.
Better Unsaid. Young Lady (after
sitting for her portrait)-"Don't you
think am flattered in the picture?"
Gent (gushingly)-"Fraulein, who
would not flatter you?" ?"-Iiumoristische
Batter.
breaking In.-"There's more'n one
way to get into good society,"" NUT
tered the midnight marauder, softly
raising the pantry window of Prairie
avenue mansion and crawling inside
Chicago Tribune.
-"Im going to call my baby Charles"
said the author, after Lamb, because
he is such dear little lamb" 30, I'd
call him William Dean" said the friend;
"he Howells so much, Advance.
Mrs. Enpec-'I can't understand
how man can love woman who has
II physical deformity; can your Enpec
10, / don't know; shouldn't think
less of woman who was tongue-tied."
p. e S. S. Co. S Bulletin.
1.-THE thing that Bicycles lacks is
sincerity" remarked the self-appointed
critic of mankind. What makes you
say that?" "He made resolution to
quit swearing and bought fountain
pen on the same day. ".-WashingtonS Star.
-Preacher-"Every man must some
day settle his account with his Maker"
Tailor wish you could impress Mr..
Palmer with that idea. He hasn't set
tied with me in about two years. -
Harlem Life.
-''It is wonderful what progress has
been made in the way of machinery"
remarked Mr. Figg. II see that there
has been a machine invented that can
make complete pair of shoes in six
teen minutes. Why, that is even faster
than Tommy can wear them OUT
indianapolis Journal.
Mistress (fnding visitor in lSitchen)
-''Who is this, Mary?" Mary (con-
fused)-"My brother, MN" Mistress
(suspiciously) -'You're not much
alike" Mary (stammering apologeti-
cally)-"We We're, MIN, but he's just
had his beard shaved off, and that
makes him look quite different, m'm."
-Tit-Bits.
Lady ito her husband)-'T am
growing so fat that am beginning to
feel quite alarmed about it. l have
just discovered that l weigh 24O
pounds" 1.-Two hundred and forty
pounds And where did you get
weighed?" "On the butchers scales. "
so, then, calm yourself You weigh
exactly half. lie Figaro.
Sir George-"Looll here, John! My
lady complains that when you see hel
in the street you never salute her.
What do you mean by it?" John
"Beggin' your pardon. Sir George, but
in a book on ettylletty, which l pos
sess, it is set down that the lady ought
to bow first. ."-Household Words.
Notes from the Diary of Lady,
First day-On the high seas; stormy
weather; disagreeable company. Sec
ond day-Captain very amiable; made
declaration of love and offered me
his heart and hand; rejected. Third
day-Captain returns to the charge,
threatens to kill me, commit suicide,
and blow up the whole vessel with
three hundred persons; rejected.
Fourth day-Saved the lives of three
hundred persons. ns.-Tit- Bits.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1895-02-09
A RrainY Youth.

Mr.. Richmann-I don't demand that
my daughter shall marry wealth, but I
do insist that the man she marrics shall
have brains enough to get along in the
world.
Young Slimpurse-Well, think I've
shown very good judgment in selecting
father-in-law, don't you? N. Y.
Weekly.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1895-02-09
where tho Cost Comes.

Philosopher-Th only thing that
can make any man, rich or poor, per-
fectly happy, is love, and love costs not
a penny.
Practical Man-True, but keeping
the loved one in clothes costs like the
Old Nick.-N. Y. Weekly.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1895-02-09
Relegated to tho kitchens.

"The question as to what is the best
yeast" wrote the auswcrs-to-corres-
pondents man, in response to a query
that had just come in, must be left to
the cooks and should be- determined by
rising vote. Chicago Tribune.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1895-02-09
Beats Sentiment.

You may talk about the sentiment
The lovely flowers teach,
But II you want package sent
That's got q longer reach,
Just step into the FIRST nice shop
That happens to be handy,
And tell the clerk to send ber up
A great big box of candy.
Philadelphia Record
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1895-02-09
Toughest Man in DeadGulch.

Cholly Tenderfoot-Have you any
desperate characters around here now?
Driver (of Deadgulch coach)-Ya-as;
Alkali Ike's purity tough.
Cholly his record?
Driver - Why, fore likes wife d
been dead week he got full an rode
down ter Bloody Canyon an married
his mother-in-law.-Judg
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1895-02-09
Drew the Line.

Mrs. Hiclts-Here am, keeping two
girls and have to work like slave
myself.
Hicks-Why don't you get another
girl?
Mrs Hicks-Not much; come what
may simply won't work nights.-N.
Y. World.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1895-02-09

Miss Buyem-I never saw furniture
and carpets so cheap. The papers are
just crammed with bargains.
isn't room in this house for another
thing.
Miss Buyem = How horrid! 1 will
have to let all those lovely bargains go,
or else get married.-N. y. Weekly.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1895-02-09
AN Unnecessary DIreetIon.

Gosling-Barber, my skin is tender.
| wish you'd shave me down, not up.
Irish Barber-Down, is it? Sure, sor,
there's nothing else but down to shavel
-Harper's Bazar
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1895-02-09
Not a Fair Test,

Little Girl-Our baby is smarter than
yours.
Little Boy-Tisn't.
"Yes 'tis. Your baby can't say the
first word yet. Our baby is beginning
to talk"
Yes, but your baby is a GIRL
Good News.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1895-02-09
Knew What Ho Was About.

Enthusiastic Colored Spectator (at
fashionable weddingy-Go it, gents
keep de rice a-fying it out live
ly!
Policeman-An' fwhot are yer eggin'
av thin an fur-sure, goa are not re-
lated?
E. C. S.-No, boss; but rice is good
for chiclSins, an l am de sweeper hyahl
Life.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1895-02-09
A Novelty In Dry Goods.

Have You got messenger boy calicoY'
"Messcnger-boy calico, MADAME"
'Why, yes; the kind qua, antced NOT
10 run, you know. Truth.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1895-02-09
At Homo and Abroad.

He could tell without stagger
When out upon the stump,
How to settle monetary national strife,
But at homo he lost his swagger,
And. no matter how he'd hump,
He couldn't settle finance with his wife.
Boston Traveller.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1895-02-09
a Man OF Few Wor.ls.

Ada-Is Jack Rogers talkative man2
Helen = I've been trying for two
years to make him speak.-Life.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1895-02-09
From Her Bachelor Uncle.

From Her Bachelor Cncio.
I've secret to disclose,
Sweet Marie,
1t concerns your ruddy nose,
Sweet Marie,
1t would soon come round all right.
And once more be pearly white,
II you wouldn't lace so tight.
Sweet Marie.
Chicago Tribune
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1895-02-09

He-Your father seems to think can't
support you, dearest.
She-That's not his fault. Every
time he has passed the parlor, the gas
has been too low for him to see any
thing.-Life.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1895-02-09

NW OU who capture hcarts l
" plenty,
Golden-haired and gay,
You will get some ten or twenty
!. Valentines to-day.
7 Each one with Its message tender
Owning absolute surrender
OF the true heart of the sender:
Such is Cupid's way.
You will find my own confession
In among the rest
II is every mans impression
That you love him hest.
So, like nine or nineteen others
OF my sentimental brothers,
am one who vainly smothers
Love within his breast.
But know you. little flirt you
Hope2 Indeed, I've none!
That's the very vine of virtue
Frozen by your fun.
Every line of love you'll parry,
OF these twenty men who tarry,
Then, at last. go off and marry
Number twenty-onel
Felix Carmen, in Life.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1895-02-09
A Certain Remedy.

81 wish" said Mrs. Corntossel, "thet
they wus some way ter keep people
from tallsin' about ye behind yer back"
''They is," replied her husband.
ssWbaton
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1895-02-09

UDlUS CESAR
PODD was a
clerk in a retail
dry goods store.
1t is difficult
to imagine that
a n individual
bearing so his
toric q baptis-
m a l n a IN e
should be q e.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1895-02-09

run fer office. Then they'll talk
about ye ter yer face. Washington
Star. ~
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1895-02-09

''It is less dangerous than the bicycle,
and am certain it will do me just as
much good. od."-Demorest' Magazine.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-15
ONE effect of the bicycle and the trolley

ONE effect OF the bicycle and the trolley
has had but little notice thus far, but it is
one of the most potential Of the inf1u-
ences Of those agencies. They are be-
coming moral ccnservators by rendering
suburban residence possible to a larger
number Of people. They are enabling
residences to be occupied in the outlying
districts Of cities that were not possible
to the poor man few years ago. This,
then, tends to thin out the population in
the central districts, and thicken it along
the borders of cities, and the result is of
moral value, because half the misery.
crime, sickness and restitution in cities,
is due to inability to pay rental necessary
for sufficiency of air and sunlight in the
home. Even in the smaller cities these
agencies work for betterment, because
the man living In the outskirts of the
town is less easily drawn away from
home. He has home pleasures and de-
mands not possible when he lived in the
tenement quarter. The saloon is less a
temptation and attraction to him than
when he resided In q thickly populated
section. Let us then class the bicycle and
the trolley as among the moral influences
of the age.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-15
eating Used to railroads.

Japan now has more than Z, 900 miles OF
railroad, and is getting used to them, but
there were funny scenes when the first
little line of eighteen miles was opened
betw cen Toxic and Yokohama. Women
and children would scream and run when
the dragon horse began to puff, and q
neasant. on entering a car, would remove
his shoes and leave them on the station
platform, to be shocked and grieved later
on to find that they were not waiting for
him at his destination.
The Japanese cars are first, second and
third class, the fare is much cheaper than
in Europe or this country, and the en-
ployes are how all Japanese. The second
and third -class cars have seats along the
side like horse car, and one frequently
sees row of Japs squatting on their
heels along the seat Instead of sitting
down and letting their legs hang over the
edge. American fashion. In the stations
are Observation-Disclosures weighing machines,
with the numbers marked in japanese
characters.
The original Tokyo and Yokohama
Railroad is still, of course. the most
familiar both to natives and visitors. 1t
is only an hours ride. with Toxic Bay
on the east and chance of seeing the
peerless Full on the west. Foreigners
living in Toxic make the trip frequently.
because only in Toxic can they find q
portion of the city which looks some
thing like European or American town.
In the far interior the trains are, OF
course, used almost entirely by the ma
tives, who take readily to foreign con-
veniences.-New York Recorder.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-15

The census returns show that in 1880
there were in the United States 2,9S4, 306
farms cultivated by their owners. In
1890 there were 3.269,72s. The farms
rented for money in 1880 were 322, 357; in
1890, 454, $3.50; on shares in 1880, 702, pa; in
1890, S40,2 That is, the ratio OF farms
cultivated by owners in 1890 to those
rented was as two-thirds is to one-third.
The ratio Of owned to rented farms in
1880 compared with 1890 shows distinct
gain of ownership. So that it is not tr ne,
as the pessimists assert, that American
cultivators of the soil are becoming a
tenant class.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-15

1880 and 1890 the number of employees in
mechanical and manufacturing indus
tries increased 65.7 per cent. but the
wages increased 131.17 per cent In the
face Of this undeniable truth the Popu-
list calamity prophets. the socialistic
pessimists and the radical silver men
unite in declaring that wages have been
and are steadily decreasing, and that the
whole fabric of social, political and bust
ness society is going to the devil.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-15
THAT Russia and France are now allied

THAT Russia and france are now allied
is officially announced, and within q
short time the terms of the compact are
to be made public. We shall await their
publication with interest. It is safe to
forecast, however, that the details will
prove far less sensational than we have
been led to look for. If there ia anything
in the alliance that menaces the peace OF
Europe the assent of the Gar to the pub
LEGATION would not have been so readily
given. A contemporary is of the opin-
ion that the alliance il formed for ag-
erosion, but we prefer to believe that it
is mainly commercial and least political,
with provision for mutual defense in
time of need, but not for joint action ag-
excessively. The present Gar is not ag-
gressive; from the time he came to the
throne to this hour he has shown dis
taste for war, and willingness to go to
any limit within honor to avoid it. In
deed, among Russian jlngoes he has been
reproached for his peaceful disposition.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-15
---------------
: NOTE AND COMMENT.

The town or city that progresses most is
that in which the influences for good are in
harmony, like the strings of q well-tuned in
strument. If there is to be any disagreement
whatever, it should be as to methods only.
But where the ends In view divide the people
greatly and put the public-spirited influences
of the place at swords point, there progress
calls a halt, but not for long, for when progress
halts, if ii does not soon resume the march
forward, reUrogression Will set in. There is
not an instance on record of town growth
and improvement that was not the result of
generous concession and general agreement
upon the schemes of advancement.
The Oakland papers say that the patriotic
spirit OF the people down there is up to 1909
in the shade. Get Knox and his kind to
write another letter setting forth why they
have no use for the Fourth OF July. and pa
triotic mercury up this way will boil out of
the top of the tube.
The hydraulic mining advocates content
themselves with charging upon the RECORD
UNION untruth and misrepresentation. But
it is significant that they do not specifically
point out wherein the RECoRD-UNIoN has
msrepresented and falsified regarding any
mine any hydraulic work, any damage done,
Jury because of the resumption of hydraulic
mining.
The Oakland Times asks: "Why il it that
detectives stubbornly follow a single clew in
ferreting out crime instead of following
every clew presented?' But do real detectives,
men of genuine detective ability and cuItiva-
ton glue their noses to q single clew?
The Japanese are reported as dissatisfied
with their Government because of the terms
of peace made with China, and threaten do
nestle trouble in consequence. What pity
it is that the Japanese diu not suffer some Sc
we're reverses in the late war. If they had
been soundly whipped two or three times they
would be more sensible as victors
The Riuer Nea0s, published at Rio Vista, has
been enlarged to an eight-page paper. 1t is
always filled with interesting local news, and
is a welcome guest on the editorial table.
The Los Angeles branch of the League of
American Wheelmen have resolved that fast
riding in crowded. busy streets in that city
must cease. They have asked for the passage
of an ordinance limiting the speed with
bicycles within certain limits That is sensi-
bIe and the league is to be commended for
not waiting for some one on the outside to
complain. How long will it be before Sacra-
mento wheeimen take the hint?
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-15

The RECORD UNION and WEEKLY
UNION are the only papers on the Coast,
outside Of San Francisco, that re-
ceive the full Associated Press Dis
patches from all parts of the worLd. Out
side Of San francisco, they haze no COM
petitors, either in influence or home and
general circulation throughout the State.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-15

THE Times-Herald of Chicago is
faoetious. 1t raps jingoism sharply over
the knuckles when 1t pictures noted
Senator communing with his soul. after
this fashion: ut is pity that we are at
peace with England, else we might &C.
quire Canada by conquest. and thus
round up our possessions on the north.
Then there is Mexico; why not cross the
Rio Grande? The Bahamas are ours by
rights. And while we are on the sub
ject, what's the matter with the British
Islands? There are too many people in
the world anyway. Let's kill some
bodyN
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-15
Driven to Drink.

Food Crank Doctor-Bread IL the stat
of life? Nonsense; il you eat it when \
is fresh you Will die of Indigestion. i
you eat 1t when it is stale you will die Of
disease germs that have lodged in it. In
short. there is nothing so fatal to life "a
bread.
Patient-Then you advise me to cal
something else?
Food Crank Dootor-My dear fellow.
science has little to offer you in the way
of advice. Everything else is as dele
FERROUS as bread and of course to cal
nothing at all will result in death by
starvation.
Patient-Great Scott! guess the only
thing for me to do is to take to drink
New York Tribune.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-15

..It was Henry Clay, was it not, who
said: Il would rather be right than Pres
ident?'"
eyes, but he wasn't"
sHow?"
'.He was lsfk"-B Brooklyn Life.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-15

cisco labor element IL apparently just the
opposite. When the stranger comes to
settle and invest his money in new enter
prises in California he will be far moro
likely TO come where he can get labor
which parades under the stars and
stripes, than in town where they are
waiting for the American public ITO do
something" Los Angeles laborers are
the public and they know it.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-15
Special Agencies.

This paper is for sale at the following places:
i. P. Fishers, room 81, Merchants Exchange,
California street; the principal News Stands
and Hotels, and at the Market-street Ferry,
San Francisco.
Los ANGELEs.-Eclectic Book Store, corner
Second and Main streets.
SAN DIEGo.-Emmal & Co., $50 Fifth street.
CoRoNADo.-Hopkins & Cox, Coronado
Hotel.
: SANTA Observation-Disclosures News Depot.
FREsNo.-C. T. Cearley, I'LL street.
SANTA CRUZ.-Cooper Bros. News Depot.
Ra- Also, for sale on all Trains leaving and
coming into Sacramento.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-15
Weather Forecast.

Northern California-Fair: nearly station
airy temperature; fresh to brisk westerly
Winds high northwest winds along the south
ern coast.
Hight OF river 90 feet inches.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-15

In every receipt calling for baking
powder better results and more whole
some food will be obtained by the use of
Royal than any other, because Of its
greater leavening strength and absolute
,rifx
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-15
A MATTER OF DUTY.
TRed Bluff SentinelI
BLESSED SIGNS.
[San Diego SUM-

Arizona proposes to meet California
halfway in preventing desert tragedies
from thirst. She will have sgn-boards
erected at different points on her side OF
the Colorado giving directions as to the
nearest sources of fresh water. The one
hundred and seventy-five or more iron
vious Board of Supervisors to be placed
along the desert trail are awaiting our
new road fund, which will be available
in July. These posts are iron gas-pipe
painted red-as that color can be seen the
longest distance-and have sheet-iron
signs lettered with the distance from
point to point and the direction to water
holes. There has long been necessity
for this aid to safety in desert travel, as
life needlessly sacrificed has demon
stratad
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-15
THE WEEKLY UNION

Is the cheapest and most desirable Home,
News and Literary Journal published on the
Pacific Coast.
The WEEKLY UNION per year..............$1 so
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-15

Es- These publications are sent either by
Hail or Express to agents or single sub
scribers with charges prepaid. All Postmast-
ers are agents.
The best advertising mediums on the Pacific
Coast
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-15

THE official statistics gathered by the
Department of the Interior Census
Bureau) show that between the years
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-15

Entered at the Postoffice at Sacramento as
Eecond-class matter.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-15

DENTRAL M. E. CHURCH, ELEVENTH,
I ] between H and 1.-The pastor, Rev. j. L.
Trefren, has recovered from his recent Illness,
and will preach at 10:45 A. NJ. and p. NJ. SUBJ
iect In morning, "Triumphs Of Adversely"
and at night, "Faith's Discovery Of Christ
From Tangible Evidence" Seats free, and
all welcome. Sunday school at 1915 p. NJ.
Epworth League at 2 P. NJ.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-15

THAT San Bernardino case is q strange
one, and, to those not familiar with the
principle of law involved, seems to be a
reproach to the law. Mr.. Barnes found
young Salter sick and destitute. He took
him into his home and nursed him back
to health. Salter thereupon made love to
Mrs. Barnes, and so far won her that the
two entered into plot to poison the hus-
band. 1t well nigh succeeded. but was
discovered in time to save Barnes life,
though the poison brought him to DEATHS
door. Salter was arrested, and Mrs.
Barnes made full and oircumstantial
confession under promise of leniency,
and Salter committed suicide while in
custody. The woman was indicted, but
her confession could not be used against
her. Barnes forgave and took back his
wife. and refused to bear witness against
her. Here, then, is case in which guilt
is confessed and conviction cannot be
had. But it is just. For human expert
ence has demonstrated, and it has become
a principle of justice, that one should not
be convicted upon his or her confession
alone. Were it otherwise, many a crime
would 60 UNPUBLISHED, because the inno-
cent would, by confession, assume guilt
to shield the guilty. Again, it has been
established through ages of experience
that confessions are untrustworthy often,
often made to secure immunity from Sc
we're punishment; and, again. are made
under duress and fear. So it has come
to be q rule of the law that an unsup-
ported confession is not sufficient.
The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1895-06-15

"Record- Union' Telephone.
Editorial Red 131