The Wilmington daily Republican., 1895-10-01
APPosITE TEXTS.
scRlPruRAL SELECTIONS 70 FIT sPe-
cIAL OCCASIONS.

LutF LIZ mol AtW8Ja nAEfnontEty aoWeN6rs
Business Men IA Wen as ciorEymen
Make use OF the bible to Point q Moral.
Several Pointed illustrations.
Some clergymen have peculiar knack
of selecting apposite texts for almost every
possible occasion, but tho most amusing
Instances of appropriateness are Just those
Undersigned coiDcidcnoes which sometimos
occur when the preachers intentions arc
far enough away from any desire to raise n
smile.
1t is reported OF the late Mr.. Petor Essle-
mont, once an NJ. p. and subsequently
chairman of the Scotch fishery board, that
when he was appointed provost of Aber
deem he was expected to attend church
with the other magistrates, in accordance
with the usual custom. Something how
ever, occurred to detain him, and the con-
gregation was much astonished, and, as
may be supposed, not little amused when
the minister gave out as his text, "Now
there was no small stir what was become
of Peter"
A good story Is told Of the Rev. J. Bate
man, rector of South church, who died not
long ago ut the advanced age Of OIL. He
was a strong low church partisan, and,
much to his displeasure, had q son who ia
yored ritualistic practices. The son had
often asked his father to occupy his pull
pit, but the father refused for long time.
Ultimately he consented, and when he as
cended the pulpit he gave out as his text
Lord have mercy on my son, for he Is a
lunatic," and ON this rather strong pas
sage based vigorous attack on his sons
tendencies. The feelings Of the son may
be better imagined than described.
There Is certain vicar of whom 1t Is
told that, preaching at recent cyolist
church parade, he took for his text, "The
spirit Of the living creature Ii in the
wheel" When In an East Yorkshire
church new stove was put in; next Sum
day the text given, very appropriately no
doubt was: "Ahai am warm; have
seen the 1re." In the same church when
the squire had given warm scarlet oloaks
to dozen poor old women, the clergyman
selected as his text, Solomon In all his
glory was not srrayed like one of these"
which was rather hard on the recipients OF
the charity.
The story told Of the Rev. DR.. Howard
rector of st. Georges, southwark, and
chaplain to Princess Augusta has been
frequently quoted. but win bear repeti-
tion in this connection. This gentle man
was fond Of good living and was oontinu-
ally in debt with many of the tradesmen
in his parish. Specially for the benefit Of
his creditors, he one day preached from the
text, "Have patience and will pay you
all, expatiating at great length on the vir-
tues Of patience, and finally wound up
with the words, ~ now come to tho second
part Of my discourse, which Is and will
pay you all, but that shall defer to q fu-
ture OCCASION"
When the minister was struggling TO put
on q fourfold extra starohed collar and
the perspiration was starting from every
pore, "Bless the COLLAR" he muttered,
"oh, yes bless III bless the blessed COL
lar" to him entered bis wife, who at this
particularly opporture moment propound-
ed the simple enough query, my dear,
what Is your text for this mornipg's ser
monp' To which the sorely tried parson
replied, in short gasps: at Twenty first
v-verse, fifty fifth Psalm. The w-words
Of his m-mouth were s-smoother than
b-butter, but w-war w-was In his heart. 4"
But not only as the pegs whereon SER
mons are hung are opposite texts used;
they are also brought forward In other
connections, Of which many instances
might be given. When DR.. Pierson was
requested to take charge Of the Metropol-
ttan Tabernacle some time ago, ho COM
municated his acceptance In a manner
both unique and economical. His cable-
gram ran as follows: philemon 80. Pier
Son, and the text In question reads, "But
withal prepare me also a lodging, for I
trust that through your prayers shall be
given unto you," the code being thus
manifestly very efficient one
Texts may be and frequently are wrested
very far from their proper use. As an ex-
ample take the oase Of tho church going
merchant who found that one of his col.
lectors had fraudulently retained some Of
the money, To the merchant's indignant
inquiry ~ 10 the peaning Of his disgrace
full action the bold offender replied that 1t
was the result of his following the injuno-
tion Of tho Bible. Astonished beyond
measure, the merchant asked, "what in
junction is thatfn receiving the reply,
"That which reads, Hold fast that which
is good Money is q good thing to hold on
to, isn't itf''
Far better was the Glasgow policeman's
remark when asked for his views on the
subject Of police pensions. He said that
Burns, when an exoiseman, had put them
exactly in his famous toast, Here's to the
last verse Of the last chapter of the last
book Of Kings" Nothing more would he
say, and his querist on reaching home
turned up his Bible and found the passage
ran as follows: "And his allowance was a
continual allowance given him of the
king, a daily rate for every day, all the
days of his life"
Early In the century there was sect of
religionists known as the "Ranters. " One
of the sect, Newcastle baker, had TALL
strong young man as one Of his appren-
tices. One day the master, displeased with
something he had done, laid hold of him
and gave him an angry blow with his
olinched fist, accompanying the chastise-
ment with the text, "If man smite thee
on the one cheek, turn unto him the other
also." But the apprentices, equally versed
in Scripture, replying, with what meas
ure ye mete 1t shall be measured unto you
again, knocked his master down.
A tradesman once defended his habit Of
charging higher prices to the we'll to do by
quoting the apostolic words, "Charge them
that are rich," while an American firm
got into trouble by sending out bills to
debtors Of long standing in black bordered
envelopes, bearing In small type In one
corner these three texts: LET us walk
honestly" lowe no man anything"
Many days and years shall ye be trou-
bled, this novel procedure being mani
testify aninfringement Of theiaw forbidding
requests for payment Of debts to be sent in
envelopes bearing outward evidence of tho
eontents. Words.