The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1895-03-13
ON THE PREACHER
HUMOROUS INCIDENTS IN The LIFE
Or MINISTER'S.
An Episoopaiian's Only Experience With
IEmersion-The Methodist Preacher and
the Fishing Boy-Tbe MarbIehead Divine
and the Fierce Bull.

All rsl4etOtdlIRn lildlif i3oN S-o.u;
used to relate an experience he once had,
which conyulsed his congregation with
laughter and nearly broke up his services
for the day. He was the rector Of church
in Connecticut.
One day as the time for the annual visi-
tation of.the bishop was approaching, and
he was preparing class for confirmation,
he was sent for TO visit a woman who de-
sired 70 talk with him on the subject of
baptism.
The woman, who was very stout,
weighing somewhere in the neighborhood
Of 800 pounds, informed him that she had
long been attracted toward the Episcopal
church, but had refrained from uniting
with it because she had strorg convictions
in regard TO baptism and felt that she
ought 10 he immersed.
The minister told her that, although
the church believed pouring or sprinkling
to be valid baptism, it did not prohibit
immersion, though, as it was a somewhat
inconvenient method, it was not often
used.
He pointed out the difficulties in the
way, saying that he had no fount in the
church large enough for such a purpose,
and that there was 40 river or beach in
the vicinity. In reply she suggested that
he obtain permission TO use the Baptist
church, which had "a large baptistry under
the pulpit platform. This he consented TO
do, though with much misgiving. The
consent OF the Baptist brethren was read
fly obtained.
The next Sunday Episcopal services
were held in the Baptist church. At the
proper time in the service the candidate
for baptism went forward, and, with tho
minister, went down into the baptistry.
All went well until it came time for the
immersion. Then the minister for the first
time realized his inexperienc9 in admins
tering that form of baptism. When he at
tempted to immerse the woman, his foot
slipped, and they both went under the
water together.
He hastily scrambled to his feet, but, TO
his coBsterntiOn and horror, found, when
he attempted TO raise the woman, that she
could not be moved There she lay like 80
many pounds OF lead flounderng in the
water and screaming for dea~ life In vain
he tagged and pulled. She could not be
even started
Finally several men in the congregation
went to the assistance Of the minister, ard
by their united efforts succeeded in bring
ing the frightened women to her feet The
men We're wet TO the skin, having been
obliged to go into the baptistry The
congregation struggled with its pentup
laughter, but finally it burst forth in a
roar which could not be suppressed. The
services vera continued with great diff
Guilty and the minister drew a long breath
OF relief when they were ended.
IL
not infrequently the cause of great annoy
ance to clergymen. Some years ago
Methodist minister was delivering a ser
mon with good deal of earnestness when
his attention was attracted TO "A boy in tie
gallery. ehe youngstcr was leaning over
the rail and apparently lowering some
thing attached to q cord, which he OCCG-
sionally pulled up, when he would throw
it over again with more gusto than ever.
Do what he would the preacher could not
keep his eyes off that boy.
Shifting his position in the pulpit
slightly, he had better opportunity to
see what was going on and observed that
an old gentleman in pew under the gal
lery had fallen asleep and was sitting
with his head back and his mouth wide
open. Seeing this, the boy had attached
a cork to n string and was enGeayOring TO
lower it into the old mans mouth. He
came near succeeding several times, and
as the cork gently swayCd TO and fro it OC
casionally tickled the sleeper's nose. At
such times ne would stir little uneasily
and brush it away with his hand, TO the
evident delight of the grinning youngster
The whole scene was so exceedingly COM
ical that the minister came near laughing
outright. At length he was Obliged 10
beckon to the sexton and request him 70
put an end TO the boys fishing for the
day or else send him somewhere else TO
do it.
An uncomfortable experience which be
fell Parson Bartlett, Unitarian minis
ter, some years ago, used 10 he related by
his clerical brethren with a good deal of
glee. The parson had been invited 70 ex
change pulpitS with a clergy man in Sa-
lem, and it being a delightful Sunday in
the spring the parson walked across the
fields from his home in MaTblehead, start
ing early enough in the morning 10 be on
time when the hour for service arrived
The cOngre cation assemble at the usual
time, but no minister appeared. Minutes
passed into i half hour and from that into
an hour, and il began to be apparent that
there would be no services that morning.
just as the congregation was about to dis
perse the carson arrived. lie was covered
with muG from head 10 feet His coat was
torn, his hat battered, and a telltale streak
on his shirt front exposed his darling vice
of chewing tobacco.
An explanation was in order and was
given. While the parson was sauntering
leisurcly along, enjoying the bracing
morning air and the picturesque views,
thinking now and then Of the points in
his sermon, he heard q believing behind
him, and, looking around, saw belliger-
ent bull, with his nos;rils diiated and his
tail in the air, rushing directly Tor him.
The parson ran for n wall near bv and
jumped into the next field. Bat The bull
was not 10 be oluGed in that way. lie was
over as soon as his clerical victim. The
parSon jumped over the wall again into
the field he had lel-, but the bull was there
before be was. Ia this way they kept up
the jumping and running. first over one
wall. then over another. until by scaling
fence the parson reached the open road.
The bull was thus brought u standstlh
and ran OF sEoTting defiance. Parson
Bartlett, exhausted with his urwCnted
exertion. bruised and sore in every limb
made his way a. hest be could u salem
Boston Globe.
Toilet Pint.