St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1895-01-24
WHO DESIRES A TICKET,
Or Else a Severe Roast on
the City and Ticket
System.
WORLD OWES HIM A LIVING,
But He Can't Find the Man
Who Pays the Worlds
Debts.

P. Connolly blew into the office yes
terdaY afternoon with multitude of
red whiskers. and after blowing his
nose at the rate of forty knots an hour,
he sat down.
eth tap av' tn mournin' t'Yc," lie
said, finally, and received all appropriate
response.
'Oi hev bit O. news far ye," he
said, running one finger across the
borders of his beak, AN begorra. sor,
it'll make yer eyes wather wild tears
Whin We know it. OPm pore wurrikin
mon. sor, not Wurrikin now FER tn
reason thet none o thin guys over
there in th' hall III give dacen mon
amy wurrik."
Why don't you see the mayor"
"Ah, be th' saints above, but yer a
woise mon. Oh hev in me hand letther
from th' mayor, an tn same indarses
me fer amy job i'll tOun. But the
thrubble is Oh kin fond 10 wan tibet kin
rade. Here begorra's anther wan 'atll
make a man feel prood Rade that"
passing over a letter that was badly
soled by fingers, also thumbs. The
letter read:
The bearer of this letter, Pat Con-
ley, is an honest man who seldom works.
AS he has no more than several thon-
sand dollars it is hoped some kind friend
will take pity on him and give him a
cigarette"
AT the bottom Of the letter in another
handwriting was the sentence: Hes
good thing; push him along"
Nov there" said Mr.. Connolly when
the letter was read, ''there is letther
that'Il sheW YOU thet there aire some
dacant guys in th'lwurruld. They aire
thryin' ter hip me cot av tin hole, but
begorra TIN holes gittin bigger wld
livery precedin' day. Oi hev wolfe an
NANNY children. yis begorra an th'.
Pore Little Diyiis
are havin' harrud tonne ay it whole
their ovid mons huntin' fer the mate
tibet kapeS th' breythe in their sunken
boddes. begorra. Now there's Mishter
korwin: shure you know him. Av
coorse We do, fer iverbody knows Mishter
Korwln. O know him an a folner
mon never breathed fer two days
twanct. He's bin very koind ter
me. be the powers above. Ony fer
him an old died ter death durin' th'
cowld shnap. Yis, sir, Ord bin carpse
be this tonne. An bein' a earpse in
sich weather as this, begorra, amt no
joke an O'm tellin' ye. Now, you
know Misther Ahern, doan you? Av
coors We know Misther Ahern, tn wan
wal sits in tn hoigh cheer in th' coort
over tn way. an does nothin' but ask
We eff yer guilty. Dye know MiSther
Ahern? Well. he CANINE letther, an
wanted thin. but be the powers, Oh
moight as we'll hev none for tn good
they DO. OF hev troid ter git ticket
for wurrik, but they won't gimme wan.
Wat OF wants ticket, an begorra, eff
they doan gimme wan Oil pull the
hands aft th' coOrt house clock, dye
moind. They hev right ter gimme a
ticket, fer Orm a pore hard wurrikin
mon, an thim's thin wat the tickets is
fer, be me SOWl.
Now wat Oi want now is t. hev We
roasht tn city all tin way from the
Sivln carriers T. Connemara Patch. 0
be allsth' powers Oi am sore all tn city,
an yon know as we'll as ANYONE tibet
o; hev roight t. call an amy aoose-
paper t. roasht th' city from Hamm's
brewery t. Miriam Park.
"Wtll, anyway, it do stroke me, an
a harder wurrikin mon niVer lived than
me, it do strike me tibet mon wild
mitts an him loike mine ort + hev all
tn wurrk he cud do an me wild FAM
lily ay wolfe an NANNY children. Dye
think We kin say wurrud"
Assured that something would be
SAID concerning the ticket system, Mr..
Connolly bowed and scraped few
inches off the floor.
"Be th' powers" he said, "Oim glad
Oh NIT We. Av Oi had a can O. beer
Ord CAV We tn half Of it. Good day, sor,
a1' may the saints be wild ye. Good
day"
Mr.. Connolly had with him a letter
from Mayor Smith, recommending him
as good, honest man, and the words OF
the mayor were Endorsed by Arch
bishop ireland. If there is anyone in
the city who can give Mr.. Connolly
work, the latter and his family will be
grateful. Connolly is all right.