The herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1893-1900, 1895-03-10
MISUNDERSTANDING
Some Famous Old Bulls Of Various
NntiouaItties

10 tOICtul our tnOuEHb nto bCSh "''f'D
uted to many men, says writer IN
Cornhill. Taleyrand, as is only natural,
is often credited with it, and whether he
said it or not, he certainly acted upon 1t;
3 but, long before the Bishop OF Autun
., learned to practice the art OF tergiversa.
ton, Oliver Goldsmith had written that
the true use of speech is not SO much to
express our wants as to conceal them,
and earlier still Samuel Butler had said,
in his satrical character OF Modern
Politician'--a character hardly yet out
of date-'sHe who does not make his
words rather serve to conceal, than dis
cover the sense of his heart, deserves to
have it pulled out, like traytor's and
shewn publicly to the rabbe." 1t is
evident that the idea was no novelty, but
was common to many writers, although
it was not always so ferocioilsly expressed
as by the author of 'Hudibras.' But
apart from the intentional use of speech
to conceal thought the saying is always
receiving illutration from the endless
Misunderstanding that arise from the ig-
n nornt use, or rather misuse, OF words.
Many instances of a ludicrous meaning
being conveyed, entirely different from
that intended by the use of wrong words
or the wrong arrangement of phrases,
may be observed in public notices. 1t is
by no means necessary to go to Swiss
hotels or foreign health resorts to find
choice specimens OF English las she is
q NiOtC. lhC HOblNC, AhyOHC biCoPooo-
ing on these grounds without permission,
will be prosecuted, was posted up in Ire
land, and on that ground may perhaps be
excused; but the following intimation,
which appeared some years ago at an
English watering place. was really alarm
ing: Visitors are cautioned against
bathing within hundred yards of this
spot, several persons having been drowned
here lately by order of the authorities
The following specimen was to be seen by
the side OF the high road near Canterbury
year or two ago-it. is probably still
there: Fraction engines and other per-
sons taking water from this pond will be
prosecuted.
Even churches are not always free from
slips OF this kind, or at least, from the
use of words capable OF a very different
Interpretation from that intended. What
gan be thought OF this awful suggestion
which appears on the book-ledges OF a
suburban church: Gan kneelers should
be hung up at the end Of the service?'
Shop windows form another happy
hunting ground for curiously worded an
nouncements. Hair cut while you wait"
in BARRIERS window is absurd enough,
but it is not double edged like some other
examples of shop aids to misunderstood
9 ing, as the tempting notice OF the dealer
in cheap shirts: They won't last long
1T this price," Worse still was the adj
monition which appeared in the window
of a cheap Dine here, and
/. you will never dine anywhere else.
!, The most straightforward sentences, or
the plainest question, may be misunder-
stood, either purposely or through ig-
horance. 1t was recently related of Mr..
Sroole that not long ago he entered dairy
7, and solemnly remarked to the shopman:
81 will take a boy" with a glance at the
diarvman. Eyes, or a girl" replied
Toole. The man never doubted but his
visitor was lunatic, and said mildly:
Pardon me, this is a milk shop"
,'Come out sde,' said the joker, and
taking the dairyman. by the arm led him
''I'll take boy and a girl, he solemnly
repeated. Read what your notice states:
Families supplied in any quantity. 1g
norance only is at the root of misunde
standings such as the reply of witness
in a Midland police court, who being
No, your worship, shoemaker" An
other witness at county court was asked
.sHave you sworn9' replied, Wen, not
much, but l have sworn little this
morning" a answer that effected even
was outdone by an Irishman who had to
appear as a witness. What did you do
Pat?' asked friend afterwards. "They
says Swear and l says - and be-
CORA they turned me out.
Perhaps Ignorance had not so much to
do with the answer of the individual en-
joying a standing seat at, the theater, who
on being sarcastically asked by a gentle
man, whose view he INSTRUCTED, whether,
he was aware that he was Opaque, denied
the charge, and said he was O'Brien.
But ignorance pure and simple will ac-
count for many absurdities. Many years
ago certain magnate in the West of
England-doctor of divinity and chair
man of the quarter sessions-was also
an enthusiastic geologist. One day
farmer, who had seen him presiding at
the bench, was riding along quiet rad,
by the roadside on heap of stones, which
he was engaged in breaking with a small
hammer in the course OF hunt for
fossils. The farmer refined up his horse
and for moment .gazed open mouthed;
then. shaking his head over the change
ableness of all things human, exclaimed in
tones Of deepest commiseration What,
doctor! be you come to this 'ready?"
Thu late Duke of Rutland walking one
morning in the grounds of Belvoir, met
gamekeeper's little. girl. We'll, little
one, he said, what do you call your.
self?'' For what we are about to receive
may the Lord make us truly thankful"
was the child's astonishing reply; but
its irrelevance was explained when it
was discovered that the little ones
mother had said to her: IF you meet
the duke, be quite sure to say Your
Grace.
= An Irish member of Parliament, it is
related, was giving a small dinner party,
Mt which one of the guests was priest
Of no small consideration among the
electors of the members constituency. A
goose happened to make its appearance
upon the table, and some one asked the
priest what was Latin for goose. The
reverend gentleman, whose scholarship was
rather shaky, hesitated, and the host,
jealous of his guests education, whisper
ed, 'Anser" The ecclesiastc got very
red in the face and fidgeted in his chair,
but did not speak whereupon the anxious
host, with the best intentions in the
world, again whispered, rather more
loudly, "Anser, anser. The priest
turned upon him in undisguised anger
and roared, Answer yourself, sor"
7 An old west-country cottager, speaking
OF her son. sailor, to a district visitor,
said: "Ah, ma am, my son that has
been up to the North Pole, he tells me
some things that l really can't believe,
though he is my son. He tells me,
ma am, that he has seen with his own
eyes ice bugs as big as church!
Misunderstanding of another class arise
from purposely arranged or accidental
double meanings. In Moore's Diary
there is q story of man selling a horse.
The would-be purchaser, anxious about