New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1895-06-19
CUPID HAS AN ENEMY
PERSISTENT SOLICITORS WHO DETER
WOULD BE BENEDicTs.

When the young man walked into the
newspaper Office and timid y asked the
society editor if she would kindly insert
notice Of his approaching marriage, he
little thought of the trouble he was
bringing down upon his head.
The announcement was printed Sun
day Wheu he reached his office Mon
day, he found a stack Of letters waiting
for him, every one addressed in a hand
writing he did not know. He Whistled
when he opened the first, ditto the sec
ond, looked a bit surprised at the con-
tents of the 4hird and swore fuently
through the bafance of the pile. At,noon
there were more At night there were
others.
Despite the evident curiosity Of his
fellow laborers in the Office he did not
take soul into his confidence until the
third day. Then he remarked to his
deskmates:
.'Say, the great American life insur-
ance man isn't overlooking any bets
these days, is hep ~
Wherefore this outburst?''
For answer the groom to be went to a
drawer and produced stack containing
lat letters-he said that was the exact
number, though his friend did not count
them-the accumulation since that fate
full Sunday morning: -, "
every blamed one of them is from
some agent for some life insurance com
pany who wants to insure my life. Each
one represents the best company on the
face Of the earth. Each pays the largest
dividends. Each invests the money of
it's patrons to the very best advantage.
Each moralizes on the uncertainty Of
life and seeks to impress upon me the
solemn duty I owe to my wife that is to
be to get my life insured for a million
or two of dollars. And each blessed one
has come since the announcement Of my
approaching wedding was printed. .
The young man paused a moment,
then he dug into the pile and after
few moments search produced a docu
ment which he showed at his friend,
simply saying: .~..
''Just look at the devilish ingenuity
displayed in the construction of that
thing 49,. ... .
The ''thing'' was about the size Of a
theatrical poster known as three sheet,
in other words, three Of them will paper
the side of barn. Down the center, at
regular intervals, were a lot Of notices
and warning exhortation printed in type
three times the size of the context, and
in red ink. Here is one choice extract
from the document: "In the midst of
life we are in death. - IT,
''Let us call your attention that it is
every husbands duty-his solemn duty
Ito provide for those dependentlupon
him. No one knoweth when the angel
of death may knock at the doorao howell
Or mansion and how can one be prepared
for his coming unless time is taken by
the financial forelock? Think Of the ray
of hope which breaks through the clouds
of bitter bereavement when the sorrow
ing ones reflect that by the careful fore
thought of the dear departed poverty has
been prevented from adding it's horrors
to those of the grave It is your duty to
provide for your loved ones Do not put
it off until tomorrow, for in the Ian
guage Of the poet, Tomorrow never
comes. '.l- F.. ~,
There was another paragraph in the
document that showed the touch of a
master hand. It ran something like this:
''Our policies are devised and de-
signed to meet the wants and needs of
all people desiring insurance. They are
liberal. They are, honest. They bring
the very best returns. We have ideal
policies which we can safely recommend.
We can and will guarantee endowment
results at much less than endowment
rates. And again we pledge ourselves to
furnish paid up policies at far below the
usual cost. Our dividends are often five
times as large as those of other COM
panies on similar policies. We also make
speciality Of making liberal loans to
our clients on their policies. We.are in
the field for business and we mean to get
it. And don t you forget it. = \"
'sDo not leave your wife and babies
dependent on charity -
The elocutionary effect the benedict
to be threw into the reading Of these ex-
tracts gained him a round Of applause
from his companions. It also brought to
him the knowledge that every other
man in the Office who was married-in
Chicago-Rad been similarly afflicted.
But that brought no balm to his soul,
and he continued to kick. He didn t
think it the proper thing to do and he
announced his intention Of writing a
circular letter to the various individuals
who had importuned him to s'take a
risk and informing them of his feel
ings. ~ -. 81
don It do it, my boy" said the head
bookkeeper. "Wait until after you are
married. You will get forty Of these
things then to one now, and then you II
have to get out another letter. Wait till
then, and then you can address yourself
at one and the same time to the life in
surance ageat, the furniture dealer, the
grocer,' the man who has a second hand
sewing machine to sell, the philan
thropist who wants to see young people
get along and who offers you a lot way
out in the suburbs that will make you
rich in five years, the rental agent, the