River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1895-07-11
PITH AND POINT.

-He-"You reject me because am
poor" Heiress-"Say, rather, that you
are poor because reject you."-Boston
Transcript
Miss Amateur-"Are you musical.
Prof Bisten?" Prof Bisten-"Yes;
but If you were going to play anything,
don't mind my feelings. Sing Sing
Courier.
1t seems to me, observed Criticus,
that Scribbers book reads as though
he were addicted to the bottle" Yes, .
assented Wagg. ITO the mucilage-
bottle. "-Harper's Bazaar.
The Recipe How did Woody
White get his reputation for being
bright?' why, by promptness. He's
always the first to say chestnut when
somebody essays clever observation. ;
Washington Star.
Mrs. White-'And do you mean to
say that yod and your husband al
ways agree about everything" Mrs.
Black Always: except, of course,
now and then when he's out of humor
or pigheaded. or something of that
sort. boston Transcript.
Mean. Even Then.-Mr. Flushley-
do you know that Jazblin beats his
wife almost every night in the week?"
Mrs. Flushley-"No, does hep" O, the
monster,' Mr.. Flushley-"O, / don't
know about that; you see he plays a
much better game than she does"
Roxbury Mass Gazette.
Proverbs was largely the ruin of
me, +" said Mr.. Everett Wrest How"
asked the sympathetic citizen. Take,
for instance, that one about the race
not bein' TO the swift ] guess that
there has made me lose more money on
4-to-l shots than would burn wet
dog. Cincinnati Tribune"
-Wife-"Why, Charles. what do
you mean by burning our old love let
tersP" Husband-'I have been read
ing them, my dear, and il occurred to
me that after ! die sumo one who
wished to break my will might get
hold of them and use them to prove |
was insane. Harlem Life
Uncle George" said the little boy
from the country, ARE these the build
ings they call sky-scrapers?" They
are, Tommy" answered the city uncle
Tommy took a comprehensive look
overhead. THE sky does need scrapin'
here pretty bad. don't it, Uncle
George" ne rejoined. -Chicago Trib-
une.
This original paragraph from Ed
itor Hams recent New York letter is
going the rounds of the country: Il
would not give one good, wholesome,
! Il. I'll
can swing a pot, whistle tune and
kick log all at the same time for all
OF the military mummies between
Battery park and Harlem suburbs. -
Atlanta Constitution.
First Gentleman entering the
apartment of second gentleman
About year ago you challenged me
to fight duel" Second Gentleman
(sternly)-"I did, sir" First Gentle
man-"And | told you that had just
been married, and did not care to risk
my life at any hazard" Second Gen
tleman (haughtily)-'' remember, sir. "
FIRST Gentleman (bitterly)-"Well, my
feelings have changed; any time you
want to fight let me know. House
hold Words.
Helen" said Mr.. Whykins, who
somehow never gets hold of an idea
until it is old. Il have good one for
you. l think you'll appreciate it, only
| you must not let it MAKE YOU angry"
What is it, Henry?" Whats the
difference between woman and an
umbrella?' The difference" she an
swered serenely, lis that a man isn't
/ 20 taly 10 wit i'm
werever he goes, and that he doesn't
try to conceal the fact that it's above
him when real emergency arrives.
That's the principal difference, Henry
Washington Star.