The Van Buren press., 1895-02-23
A MOpELHUSBAND.
Was So Perfect That He Made I'll
Wife Uncomfortable.

NIe CucOmIOFtaUl0s
oae Frceport lady, writing to the
women's edition of the journal, has the
following interesting essay on the sub
ject of model husbands.
never had but one model husband,
and mercy salxes! never want another
one.
You know how mighty uncomfort-
able-like you feel when you're all fixed
up for Sunday? Well, that's just the
way felt all the time that man was
livin'.
You can't imagine how wearin' it is
to be on your good behavior every
blessed minute, but you can reckon
wasn't goin to be outdid by any man
manners. So there it was! Instead of
bein' tit for tat in squabblin', we was
all the time seem who could be the po-
litest, and sometimes it would get SO
monotonous that I'd be most dead for
good rumpus. But, land alive, I
might as we'll tried to pick fight with
q full-feathered-out angel.
First thing in the mornin' there he
was in the kitchen buildin' the fire!
Now if there's anything more aggra-
vatin' to woman's temper than that,
I'd like to know what it is tell you,
I'd stood good deal before in my time,
but that was a little too much.
Then, off he'd go to the barn; but
he'd never fail to get back till break
fast was ready, not him! Catch him
givin' me chance to scold him for be-
in late And just let him be readin'
an me goin' for an armfu1 of wood, an
wouldn't he drop that paper and go
himself? Did you ever hear the beat
of that?
An if I wasn't feelin' we'll, an was
tryin' to take nap, he'd sneak out Of
the house aa' never slam one door the
hull way, which same were terrible
tryin' to woman as had had a noisy
man before.
Come evenin' an me sewin', an there
he'd set and read by the hour; SO inno-
cent-like he was he never knowed men
didn't do such things when they're
once married, an I guess they don't
much before, leastways not unless it's
poetry.
At night when I'd forgot to lock the
basement an was hearin' burglars,
he'd jump an go along. Sometimes l
kinder thought as how he was afraid
to stay upstairs alone; but never felt
that way unless he'd been fearful ex-
asperatin
He hadn't no consideration for a
woman's feelin's, or he'd have knowed
| was expectin him to be like other
men is, an not SO terrible polite an
pretty-mannered to me after he was
married.
He would have made such good
woman, but land alive, he didn't seem
a bit like man. Why. / never heard
him swear but once, an then didn't he
come an apologize for bein rude!
Law me! thought I'd have to laugh
in his face, for l was thinkin' how my
other man would have swore blue
| streak, an never give cent whether
heard him or not.
He was mighty queer might have
knowed he wouldn't lived long. He
always would persist in cleanin' off his
boots before he came onto the porch,
an if he got ashes on the stove he'd
hunt up a rag an rub 'em Of
Poor man! he might have been livin'
now if he'd only been willin' to be like
other men. But one terrible cold day
when l was shovelin' path, he came
an made me quit, an of course, he
overhet himself in shovelin'. That
night his head were dreadful stopped
up, an instead of lettin' me get up an
| get some mustard, he would go him.
self. The next week he up an died.
1t were very bad day the day he were
buried, so didn't go the graveyard. l
were bound to respect his wishes to
the last, an he wouldn't have wanted
me to go out in such weather.
were a good woman to him, an he
were a model man, but not half as
comfortable as the one I've got now
Rockfork Qll.) Register~Gazette.