The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1895-05-31
WISE AND OTHERWISE.


Some one with nothing else to do has in
vestigated the way in which 100 men in
fiction are represented as proposing. Sew
enty-two hold the lady's hand, II hold 1t
very tightly, "A have Jumps in their throat
and Q exclaim aloud: "Thank heavens"
Only Z out of 100 declare themselves to be
deliriously happy, ana are too full for
utterance Three out of 100 stand on
their feet when they make proposal and
2 go down on one knee, while make a
formal prelude-something like the slow
music in the play, when the villain appeals
to heaven to witness the consuming flame
of his affections for the heart he plots TO
ruin, etc. The behavior of the lady under
the circumstances Is equally entertaining
and instructive. out of 100 cases 81 sink
into the arms of the gentleman, 6S rest
their heads on the gentleman's breast
and only one sinks into the arms of n chair;
II clasp their arms around the gentleman's
neck, weep tears of joy silently and "A
weep tears aloud-whatever that means:
72 have eyes full of love and . out Of 100
rush from the room and tell everybody.
Only are greatly surprised, and 81 out of
100 knew that something was coming.
Five giggle Historically, and l even
sneezes. Only l of 100 struggles not to be
kissed, while kiss gentlemen first.
THE VOYAGE:
Out from the harbor of the shadowy Shore
We sail into the gladness of the day;
A breath of spice from islands far away
Alllures us on to where the deeep seas roar
The lightning plays about us, and before
Our cleavlng prov the tempest works its
way
With broken wrecks: but still we cannot
stay,
A voice beyond the storm calls evermore.
We spread our sails to catch the wind and
breeze,
The wandering zephyr, or the simoons
breath;
And on we sail, no strength nor pur-
pose fails,
Till through the sunset Of allurng seas,
Through twilight splendors do we drift
toward death:
The silent Isle of Unreturning Sails.
Sam Walter Foss, in the Sun.
"You are the man. he said as he leaned
forward in the street car and pointed his
finger to the complacent and self-satisficd
looking passenger opposite-"you are the
man who predicted last October that We
WOulu nave IL Tlllu eS, Il
replied the man. "But we had n terrible
winter insteadw Eyes" "And you are
no prophet" ","No" "Then, why slr-why
did you make such prediction?' "As
matter Of business. I am in the coal trade,
and 1t was my duty to keep people from
running off to Florida to escape hard
winter" But. sir, but" "Oh! we shall
have long hot summer and II you want
fly screens please call around! I'm going
into that line for the seasonw-Detroit
Free Press.
ANOTHER KIND OF GIRL:
ITO Frank L. Stanton, Eugene Field,
w. s. Lord and numerous other poets Of
good children the following humble lines
to n neglected little maid are respectfully
She is homely. She Is tricky;
And am greatly grieved to tell,
Her hands are always sticky
With chocolate caramel.
Her dolly's battered features
Speak of many frantic hurl,
She's the terror OF her teachers
That naughty little girl.
She can whoop like a Comanche,
You can hear her round the square;
Further--like an Indian she
Often creeps and pulls my hair.
And she steals into my study;
And she turns my books a-whirl:
And her boots are always muddy
That naughty little girl.
She dotes upon bananas;
And she smears thom on my knees,
She peppers my Havanas,
And delights to hear me sneeze.
Yet-why can't discover
Spite Of every tangled curl.
She's darling, and I love her,
THAT naughty little girl.
Samuel Minturn Peck.
Today, writes C. A. Hurlburt, we have
landlords and landlords, but the concen-
trafed citizen who twenty years ngo
kept tavern" and presided as proprietor,
manager, clerk, bartender, porter, bell
boy and chef has passed away and the
boys who knew him bless him because he
Is not. recall one of these peculiar char
acters who for Yeara kent the beat faxern