The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1895-08-01
CONFIDENTIAL RELATIONS
should Always EEi-t B~tween Mother snd
Daughter.


In this era Of change the girl al
home, seeing other girls abroad earn
ing money and spending il. developing
their powers. winning success, recognt
tion, sometimes fame, aud at all events
what looks like happiness, feels that i
is impossible for her TO remain placidly
among hundrum duties that Others
could perform as well at less sacrifice,
others who could perhaps be paid with
tithe Of what she might earn II she
had her way. II she gives voice TO her
unrest, she is frequently reproached
for her unwomanly y spirit. her premises
are denied, and her conclusions
ridiculed, and help 10 change the cur.
rent Of her life is refused. For the
hope of almost every mother IS 10 see
her girls do exactly as she lid, repeat
her experiences. her triumphs, her
happinesses: and even IL she herself did
not find happiness, then, in the
revenges of time, she is all the
more sure that happiness viii
come to her daughter. She can
not rid her mind Of the idea that to be
womanly is 20 do exactly what al
women have done before. and no more
to 90 To church. 70 visit the poor, tc
embroider, to ind the tranquil care OF
household affairs contenting. and the
small gossip Of the neighborhood ex
citing: to await lovers. to give small
sign Of knowledge Of their existence
till they arrive, To wear at last soli-
taire betrothal ring. II that may be.
to be married in white satin and with
a tulle veil. a wedding breakfast. and
a caterer--aIl that seems 10 the mother
the proper part in life for her girl &c
play, and the only one that satisfies
herself II by chance the daughter Of
this timid mother wishes TO 70 out in
the world, to have a studio. to 20 10
college and have a profession. 10 bor-
row capital and enter business. she
is Mortified, she has no organs Of com
prehension of such a wish on her
child's part; what she does compre
hend is the state of mind Of the
proverbial hen which has hatched
duckling that will take to the water.
Now to some extent the mother has
herself TO thank for the trouble which
has overtaken her when the girl rebels.
thinks herself oppressed. begins &c
have her own opinion of her mothers
poor spirit, limited sphere, and narrow
outlook. Long and long ago she should
have made herself the friend and init.
mate Of her daughter. no matter at
what trouble. She should not have
allowed herself to be centered in her
own more personal affairs. in the cor
duct Of the household. the placating
and pleasing of its master, the enjoy
ment Of her husbands society, letting
her children in the meantime rely upon
Others, especially upon younger com
psnions, for that for which. IL she
could have forgotten herself at first,
she would have found it repayiug her
at last From the very beginning, If
she could have withheld unwise re.
proof. II she had maintained an unper-
ceived oversight, and a close acquaint-
ance with her daughters doings
that would have made reproof
unnecessary, had shown her inter.
est, and given her full sympathy,
had realized that the leading of this
new spirit was the task that belonged
to her before any pleasure or any 9th.
er task, had made herself agreeable.
besides being so dear, had made her.
self close and sympa thetic, then the
child could not have a thought apart
from her In this way not only would
she have directed the girl by her in
timacy with her, and with her school
mates too, in her own way of think
ing, but she would have advanced
with the girl. moreover, would have
been able TO take upnew things with
her, and 70 modify them il they went
counter to her feelings. In short. If
she bad maintained deep and true
friendship with her daughter she
would never have been made to suffer
from misunderstanding, contempt.
headstrong will, she would never have
been made to feel that her daughter
regarded herself as a superior being,
and Eer mother as a mere accident of
her existence, Where it was
E-attcr Of educatiou, even If
she had not had time for
study, IL she had interested
herself. she would have ac.
quired sympathetic information, she
might have kept her daughter, at
tanned new ideas, and possibly have
been swept herself into the larger cur.
rent with her. For If the truth were
told, every mother would rather go
with her daughter into the unknown.
into the life that in her own youth
would have seemed bohemian and ir-
regular, rather than live without her
in intense respectability, provided she
were convinced it was not wrong and
ruinous to her daughter. For the con.
fidence of friendship in a growing and
changing era with one whose young
Elasticity felt the growth and change
easily, would have enlarged her to all
that her daughter could become, and
while her sympathy would have made
the daughter obedient to her repres-
sion or her spur. she would have found
her own account in it at the same time.
-liarper's Bazar.
Dull Dsy for Street Beggar.