davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Princeton union., 1895-12-19

Long comes the grocery cart an we all
hook a ride!
But sometimes, when the grocery man is
Worried and cross,
He reaches at me with his whip and lar
rupS up his hoss;
An then laff and holler: "Oh, you never
teched me!''
But jes' fore Christmas I'm as good as I
kin be!
Gran'ma says she hopes that when I get to
be a man
III be missioner like her oldes' brother
Dan,
AS wuz ct up by the cannibl's that live in
Ceylon's isle,
Where every prospeck pleases an only man
is vile.
But gran'ma she had never been to see a
Wild West show.
Or read the life Nv of Daniel Boone, or else
l guess she'd know
Ihat Buffalo Bill an cowboys is good
enough fr me-
Excep' jes' fore Christmas, when I'm good
as kin be!
Then Of Sport he hangs around, so sollum
like and still
The Princeton union., 1895-12-19

Lives also down thar in the holler
On the old road below the mill,
An all us fellers as had our folks
Says, who'll do anything for Bin?"
Settin' round the store, you know,
Seem the folks buyin' a lot
For Christmas stockins an Christmas trees
Thinks I, ''Might do as we'll as not
''Ole hats a-gittin' pretty rough"
An SO I jis took off my own.
"Boys," says I, "chip in for Bill
A willin' gift this time, no loan'"
An they did chip in. Why, had enough,
Fer twenty hats! an when I'd DONE
"Hev to be changed fer paper" says /,
Fer that hat, it weighed a ton
Took us all to take it ter i'm,
Follered his light down past the mill,
Stormed the door an walked right in,
Shouted merry Christmas, Bill!'
Throwed the hat fer him to ketch it,
Sung out "Christmas gift, old boyu'
Ketched his breath an looked all round,
"Wai, ole fellers, Christmas joy"
Looks inside the hat an hol1ers.
"Bless my buttons, lined with dollarsv'
The Princeton union., 1895-12-19

Santa Claus Will Come Down.
Little Johnny-Ma, does Santa Claus
keep chimneys for sale?
Ma-Perhaps he does. Do you want
to buy one? ..-@,
"Not yet, MAJ
"Why not yet?''
'Tause his price is too high. IN
wait till Tismus and then"
"Then what, dear?''
Then Santa Claus will come down.
in his chimney, won't he?"
The Princeton union., 1895-12-19
Too Near the First of the Month.

Too Near the First of the Month.
zone thing I've got against Christ
mas .aE
''What's that?"
1T comes too late in the month";
GLOW does that affect it?'
''Why, when mans wife gives him
splendid present the bill is sent to
him In about a week. It would be
better If he had about three weeks to
get ready for it,
The Princeton union., 1895-12-19
Too FOrnnal,

Mr.. Clerkley (of New York)-WeI.
Cousin Dick, what do you think of our
Christmas tree? Nothing lacking, is
there? .<.... -.
Cousin Dick (of Deadgulch)-Wa-al.
cousin, seems t. me eff yer only had q
couple NV lnjuns er hoss thieves hang
in on it, it I'd look leetle more home
like.-Judge.
The Princeton union., 1895-12-19
Kn oN OS">'

Els eyes they seem 'a-sayIn': ''What's er
matter little Bill?" .a
The cat she sneaks down off her perch, a.
wondern' what's become TX
Nv them two enemies NV hern that use ter
make things hum
But am SO perlite and stick so earnestlike
to biz, ...
That mother sez to father: "How improved
our Willie isl"
But father, havin' been a boy hisself sus-
picions me,
When, jes' fore Christmas, I'm as good as
l kin be!
For Christmas, with It's lots an lots Nv can
dies, cakes and toys,
Wuz made, they say, fr proper kids and
not f'r naughty boys!
The Princeton union., 1895-12-19

Let this day see all wrongs forgiven.
Let peace sit crowned in every heart,
Let bitter words be left unsaid,
Let each one take his brothers part1
Let sad lips learn to smile
A day is such little while!
or all days, this is the shortest!
Let rich and poor together meet,
While words Of kindness fill the air.
Let love spread roses in the way,
Though winter reigneth everywhere.
A day is such a little while! ~.
OF all days, this is the shortest!
Let us help each with loving care,
Our brother on the way to heaven.
Let's lay aside all selfishness,
Let pride from every heart be driven
Let Christmas day bring many smile,
"A day Is such a little while!
OF all days, this is the shortest!
The Princeton union., 1895-12-19

Love to chawnk green apples an 80 SWIM
min in the lake
Hate to take the castor-ile they give f'r
belly-ache!
Most all the time the hull year round there
amt no flies on me-
But jes' fore Christmas I'm as good as
kin be!
Got yaller dog named Sport-sick i'm on
the cat;
Fust thing she knows she doesn't know
where she is at!
Got clipper sled, an when us boys goes
out to slide
Kansas City daily journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1892-1897, 1895-07-21
PENSIONS.

Washington, July 2O,-The following ren-
sions have been granted:
MISSOURI
notwithstanding Bacon dcceased),
Fairville, Saline; Thomas :. scobee, Las
min, sullivan.
Additional-George Walters, St, Louis, ST.
Louis.
Reissue-Davld J. Raughman Kansas
City, Jackson; William Williams. Nandalia
Audrau; John j. Barger, Lcbo. Howell; ;
William Shaffer East Lynne, Cass; John
q, NanderpOOi, flanagan, Mcdonald; ;
Thomas McGannon, Kansas City, Jackson,
oscar \. Pelton, Lamar Barton, Luther
r. Reed, JerCo, Cedar.
Original, widows, etc.-Jemima Monroe
(mother), ST. Joseph, Buchanan.
KANSAS.
Reissue-Lewis j, Patton, Amelly Har-
yey; Hiram Bush, Eldorado. Butler;
James +; Mccall, Atwater Meade; Jona-
). Thomas Rose Hin, Butler John Ledlie,
Burden, CoWley.
Widow Indian wars-Barbara j. Porter,
Great Bend. Barton
INDIAN TERRITORY.
Addltlona!-lsa Waller, Cottonwood,
Reissue John J. Meeks Colbert, Chick
asaw Nation. James O., Trott Ninita,
Cherokee Nation; Elisha Foster Choteau,
Cherokee Nation.
Widow Indian warS-Maragaret Is. Blair,
Terral Chickasaw Nation.
OKLAHOMA TERRITORY.
lncrease-Abraham Lincoln, HeGuessey,
Rclssue-Beniamn smith, Hennessey,
Kinghsher; John Farrell, Redrock, p"
Kansas City daily journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1892-1897, 1895-07-21
SLIPPED INTO DEEP WATER.
Fred IIauss Drowned While Bathing with
Companions in the Blue Near
ShpaieId.

Fred Hauss, the only son of Charles r.
Hauss, of 3St2 East Tenth street was
drowned at 1870 o'clock yesterday after
noon. while bathing with four compan-
ions in the Big Blue river about 200 yards
below the electric power house, near Shef-
field. About O'Clock he, in company with
owen Smith, John Groves, Earl Anderson
and Kenneth Mcclure, went to the river
over seven feet in depth, but the bottom is
of clay and slippery. Fred could not
swim and at first kept close to the bank.
Finally he ventured out a short distance
and lost his footing. He was unable 10
reach shallow water and drowned in sight
Of his comrades.
owen Smith was the first to give the
alarm, He ran nearly the entire distance
to hIs home and informed his parents,
Who in turn notified Deputy Coroner
'bjr Wheeler went to the scene of the
drowning and found three of the boys
seated on the bank beside the dead body
Of their chum They We're crying as if
their hearts would break The body was
recovered by NJ. Kirchman and Warren
Jewell, of Sheffield.
Deputy Coroner Wheeler took charge Of
the body of the dead boy and brought IL
on the train to this city. Al the Fifteenth
street depot he was met by the wagon
of Stewart Il Carroll. into which the body
| was placed. 1t was then taken to Their
| burial, The dead boy was Il years old
ana prime favorite with his compan-
ions. Charles T. IIauss, his father, Is a
stockman with an office in the Stock eX-
change building. The funeral arrange
ments are yet unmade.
Kansas City daily journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1892-1897, 1895-07-21

checked fun of wind. yet she headed up
higher than the old boat by from point
to a point and a half.
The Hcrreschoff model was steadily i'm
creasing the lead until she mistook the
spot where the turning buoy was placed
and by this mIsiudgment lost probably
three and half minutes
At the time Defender made the mistake
at the buoy she was something more than
a mile ahead.
Getting back to her course. however she
rounded the buoy two minutes thirty-four
seconds ahead of Niglant Heading up
for home the yachts ran up balloon glib
topsatls. swung over their spinnaker jib
booms and set their sails over them. In
the handling of he sails Defender showed
undergone while the Nigilant's men were
slower. on the run home it looked as
though Nigilant with her center board
hauled up was gaining but Defender went
over the line first by two minutes forty
tiVe seconds, having increased her lead on
that run by forty-one seconds
Kansas City daily journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1892-1897, 1895-07-21
DEFENDER IS A FAST BOAT.
SHE Ran AWAY FROM THE VIGILaST
IN \ TEST RACE YESTERDAY.
The New Herrcschon Stoop Demonstrates
That She viii Prove Worthy of
Name in Defending the
Americas Cup.

New York, July 2n.-Defender has met
vielran+ and vanauishod he, over a course
Oh hll'eh hi'''S 10 "ih""dTu anu return IN IN
the same waters that the cup race VIII
was ono of tho kind wherein Valkvrle III.
-, ~ X
VIII meet the cup defender ana mat De
Slant WA. clearly proysn. The new boat not
orl,. outsaijad tbe old champion 10 a re-
Y''S , -. ,,sIs -,
markahle extent, but she outfooted her as
we'll, when sailing TO wndward Moreover,
on the nome run before the wind with
'si'''1S > N'". ''''''' ''"'e'' S"
on the champion, an advantage that her
n9ta
'r,, ,rr. ,.,,,rer ,y,s .,o,,t ,yb,t is "a ho cx-
pecJea during the season, IN "nieh the cup
races viii take place There was good
breeze of from twelve to fifteen knots an
hour blowing throughout the day and the
sea was smooth. Taking everything into
consideration. the trial was all that could
believed the Vgllaut has been improved
from five to ten minutes in a course of
thirty miles over her form of 1898. and if
marvel
The public did not seem to understand
thar tho race Of today and that of Monday
may 10 away altogether with the necessity
OF formal .rial races Therefore the very
,te,sS,7 r"IG w1 f aor ~ " 'o'''-
4 ,arbfsnaTI. Who mas Witnessed ali the
races Hrrin. Ia. last twenty wears Saws
that Inn his .Nparfcnae he never ~aw any
tii,,. tr'ttiar I'm tha v4v Of a start man
l',7 tElnt7 n ,l-f ''' ''' way '''' '''''''
~ ~. ~ ts,,b of tt,,,, o,,er and au,ay so
n| t,i, viz, 5.,y hn"p'G Ih,i
Pu1M' M'y a. ,, - ~ o5ht 80 ~ h t
tES,' t'0'-' N''~" '''' ''7''' Wa ~ ~ ~
Nv ny IN. ~ i ,,s,,. .i,,, 60 +,,o,,cb,
g. 'L',a"' "ts ~ PNiit,Il IA - t
~" oNG-i 81 I'M ~ ~ o ''1S SP,H1 "'tE
where from >'opm 70 s'''Tp IN Er'''ns ms
h9tl Iha'N 20 ,"r"t itlS 1gt,llHnt' "''', "a
| mat way gHable nm 10 curry o"( d ,i,- ghsr-
Kansas City daily journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1892-1897, 1895-07-21

Topeka. July 2o,-(Speral) The Rock
panies haye appealed an Of the cases
growing out of the Linwood wreck of a
year ago last January 10 the supreme
court Casper DilmeT, Mary Johnson
Cissa Martin and Ella Hawkins each Sc
cured an award Of damages against the
railroad companies IN the lower courts and
II rs from these judgments that apneal is
taken. The amount of damage awarded
10 each of these people was as follows, The
last three being for the death of a rela-
tive:
Casper Dittmer, sl,25O; Mary johnson,
$1,000; Cissa Martin, $1,000; Ella Hawkins
IS O0O
Kansas City daily journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1892-1897, 1895-07-21

DrS. Copeland & Branaman.

1O2l and lO26 Walnut st., Kansas City. Mo.
altrS-Catarrh. Asthma Bronchitis,
Nervous Diseases, Rheumatism Consump-
tion and all Chronic Affection Of the
Throat Lungs, stomach, Liver and Kid
neyS.
Orice hours: . o.. m 10 70. 80 p. m. to 8
Evenings Mondays, Wednesdays. Thurs
days and Saturdays, : to p. m. Sunday.
q m. TO . b. m.
Kansas City daily journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1892-1897, 1895-07-21
A successor to the Late G. u. Baxter.

Luther j; Brickcr city passenger agent
OF OF ne ne liiI biqirilhston, was Yesterday appoint,
10 I'LL the vacancy caused by the death
of Gideon ID. Baxter. Mr.. Brlckers sue
cessor has not yet been appointed He
came 10 Kansas city in 1885, and was for
two years win the Santa re. after which
was yesterday promoted, MIR. Bricker is a
native of Virginia. He attended college
IN Hartford and went into business there
OF that GlaGs-
Kansas City daily journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1892-1897, 1895-07-21

|T-V0WIT- " T|-V m -TT7 0-"V-T0 T0II
race hctwsau This city au1 piithuru start
ol from MauHm.giai square at 6.i0 "a. m.
ua..makcrs. wtiy the ~tag,. -Four tgam-
were entered. representing 'icycluua Ftt--
uur. Buffalo ANA Irwin, Pa Tn. distance
over 'hr route taken boy Jno riders is I3l
miles and the time limit has been placed
- J. .uML-.
Kansas City daily journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1892-1897, 1895-07-21
McAnlIne md Noung Corhett.

syatusc. g. Ne. July PA letter re-
.crIged here from Honest" John y Ellis Says
that 3 pur-, of Ellwl has been offered for
u4bt betWe,u J4.E " Aulifte ana Young
tprbctt" 10 fgIow the Corbett-Fltzsim-
mons uEht tf Dallas.
Kansas City daily journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1892-1897, 1895-07-21

ison for the meeting which is to he held
here on Wednesday Thursday and Friday
OF noNt week Among the horses at" three
pagers with records under 2.l2 IN" purses
VIII aggregate NUp. TaylOrs park has
hetn greatly improved, and ntranEcmcut-
have lecn made to accommodate the largest
crowd OF people that ever attended race
Kansas City daily journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1892-1897, 1895-07-21
The scnmeIzcr nlucs won.

The Schneider Blues will play the Sines
Of Kansas city, kas.. at Chelsea park this
afternoon at $3.50. The schneider Juniors
have changed their name TO the Schmel-
ger Blues and viii play an senior teams.
Address - Ellison, manager, Ninth and
Broadway. Kansas city, Mo.
Kansas City daily journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1892-1897, 1895-07-21

Eugene r. KauIpu was arraiguoi in JUS
allow his WIf $50 per month alimony pend
ing her action for divorce in Judge Soar
Titts division Of the circuit court. Tho case
viii ue heard Tuesday.
Kansas City daily journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1892-1897, 1895-07-21

Abilene. Eas. July U-CSpeciaID After
three weeks uf waiting, Dickinson county
last night received generous rain Of
about one inch II has helped com, which
and farpeLs Zee much eaeouraled.
Kansas City daily journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1892-1897, 1895-07-21

New YORK. July 2o-Tht Pullman Palace
Car Company has decla ed It's regular
quarterly d.y.dend OF S2 p( share payable
Kansas City daily journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1892-1897, 1895-07-21

- d O / o o 0 O-I 8 4
Lnnhnnl and Snics. Now
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1895-04-11
North Carolina Inventors

Have given the world many notable
inventions. There is not community
in the State that does not possess one
or more local geniuses. who have ideas
that are patentable, and which if prop
erly developed will bring fame and
fortune to their owners. 1t is often
the case that some simple little appli-
ance devised by the housewife, the
storekeeper, the farmer and others to
expedite work or lessen labor. puts
into play an entirely new principle in
invention which may have far greater
value than is known to the originator.
North Carolinians who have evolved
such ideas owe it to themselves and
the industrial enlargement of their
State to ascertain if the same is pat
entable. All such are requested to send
brief description, sketch or photo to
the Patent Law Department of the
Associated Trade and Industrial Press,
ol0 Thirteenth street. Washington, D.
c., and they will hear something to
their advantage. This enterprise ia
managed by we'll known North Caro-
linian who will take personal inter-
est in the furtherance of inventive
genius in the Old North State. Other
State papers are requested to copy this
notice and send marked copy.
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1895-04-11
Fowls on the Farm.

1t is impossible to get the best re-
suits from fowls kept cooped in a pen,
especially during hot weather. Dis
ease and vermin get foothold among
them unless they haye ample range to
sun and dust themselves by contact
with fresh earth. A yard, no matter
how small, that can be plowed or cul-
tivated once 4 week during the sum-
mer'will make rolling place for them
1t will be all the better if their grain
feed is given on this plowed surface,
and the fowls obliged to scratch for it.
They may lose little grain, but most
Of it will turn up at the next cultiva-
ton, or, if it terminates its green
sprout will be eaten. On farms tho
better plan is to let the fowls range
everywhere, protecting the garden by
fence and reserving that for hens
with small chicks.
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1895-04-11
Some of Lees Ideas.
Practical POultryman. ]

Lee has now expressed some of his
valuable ideas in a new book entitled
Some of Lees Ideas Readers who
want to get the result of years expert
ence in the poultry business, as we'll as
a scientific and practical knowledge OF
the same should procure the book.
He starts out on the subject of
poultry houses and in an inexhaustive
manner treats the subject thoroughly.
In like manner he takes the subject OF
fences, doors, fastenings, perch, etc.
He makes an important point of nest
boxes and presents some interesting
and valuable views Of automatic boxes.
Feed troughs and brood cOops also
take an important part in this work.
The shipping coop which fills such an
important part in the welfare of the
fanciers' birds and is such an item to
the purchaser here is pictured out by
words and views, so one may have the
besa OF conveniences in that line at
very little expense.
He closes his work with an excellent
discussion on pedigree breeding which
will be read with intent interest by
every true fancer.
TThe above has reference to work
by J. Henry Lee, the well known
artist, tancier and poultry expert, who
is recognized authority on all matters
pertaining thereto. We have not seen
the book, but have no hesitancy III
saying that whatever comes from Mr..
Lees pen is worthy of consideration
and patronage by those who are inter-
ested in poultry breeding, whether for
pleasure or profit. If you wish to get
a copy address the author at Indian
apolis, Indiana. Price, so cents, post
paid EDITOR GOLD LEAF
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1895-04-11
Specimen Cases.

s II. Clifford, New CaSSel, Wis, was
troubled with neuralgia and rheumatism:
his stomach was disordered, his liver was
affected to an alarming degree. appetite fell
away. and he was terribly reduced in flesh
and strength. Three bottles of Electric
Bitters cured him.
Edward Shepherd, Harrisburg, H.. had
1 running sore on his leg of eight years
standing. Used three bottles of Electric
Bitters and seven boxes of Bucklen's Ar
Mica Salve, and his leg is sound and we'll.
John speaker. Catawba. O., had five large
fever sores on his leg, doctors said he was
incurable One bottle Electric Bitters and
one box of Rucklen's Arnica Salve cured
aim entirely. Sold at Melville Dorsey s
drug store.
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1895-04-11

A story is told of New York girl
who during stay in England was
much admired by subject of the
Queen, who proposed but was rejected.
The girl had a fellow on this side
whom she shortly afterwards married.
One day she concluded to give a
dinner, and thought it would be a
nice courtesy to invite her English
admirer over there in London, which
she accordingly did and forgot all
about it until he put in an appearance
at the appointed time to dine. He
dined, enjoyed his dinner, and next
day started for home, having travelled
six thousand miles to show that he
couldn't be outdone in courtesy by
the girl who kicked him.
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1895-04-11
The Currency Famine of 1898

''The Currency Famine of 1884, by
John Dewitt Warner, is number 6 of
the Reform Clubs Sound Currency SERIES
Summarizing conditions preceding and
accompanying the financial crisis of
1893, MIR. Warner uses them as q back
ground for Il detailed sketch of the cur
rency famine which he notes as the spec
ial feature that distinguished this crisis
from Others which had preceded it; and
accompanies this with mass of detail
as to emergency currency-accOmpa
led by some fifty fac-simile of paper sub
stitutes for money-tha to him appears
most significant, and is certainly most
Interesting.
1t is safe 20 say that few have appre-
ciated the extent to which in all parts Of
the country, not merely without assist
ance of law, but in defiance of it, local
currency instantly developed; how great
and urgent was the local relief afforded;
or how promptly and thoroughly, the
necessity being over, it disappeared.
Copies may be obtained by sending
8 cents to the Reform Club, so William
St, New York City.
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1895-04-11

THE POULTRY YARD.
The Poultry Fancier.

The genuine fancier, the man who
loves his birds, says The Poultry
Monthly, the man who stands among
them and watches them every time he
has chance, the man who prefers the
company of his fowls to that of the
crowd at the corner grocery or saloon ,
the man who is ever looking to their
comfort and welfare-this is the man
who, if blessed with the ability and
knowledge of breeder and raiser, no
matter if he has only the room and
time to raise few birds, stays in the
rank. year afte: year, and who has
helped to bring our thoroughbreds so
near perfection as they are.
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1895-04-11
a SAIL ON THE CLOUDS.
MARY J.. WYATT.

There's beautiful cloud feet passing by,
With white sails all unfurled.
Let's take a sail DER the blue expanse
And visit the mystery world.
Wen sail and sail DER the spacious sea,
With the pilot Breeze to steer,
And never come back to the caIthland
sweet
For a day and month and year.
Wen visit the place where the little dame
Plucks wool from the flcecy clouds
And weaVes it into the snow white robes
That are sent for the winter shrOuds.
We'll sail to the West when the day Is done
And watch while the artists hand
Is painting the glow in the sunset sky
With gorgeous cOlors and grand.
And well see how he fills his treasure jars
With pigments Of brilliant dye,
Where red and yellow and crimson tintS
With the royal colors vie.
For these he must use when the harvest
moon
Looks down on the rpened sheaves
And the time has come to brighten the
earth
BY painting the forest leaves.
Well watch the sun as his chariot rolls
Far down the horizons rim,
And he carries the beautiful day along,
And carthland is growing dim.
jOr Bear
Is holding his dipper Of rain,
And we'll listen to hear how the flowers
laugh
As he cmpties it over the plain.
Well explore the place where the comet
abideS
And brushes her hair Of gold,
Or plays cOqur'te with the polar star,
Or dances with meteors bold.
Then well skim the cream from the Milky
Way
And make us Il choice repast
And lay Us to sleep upon downy beds
And dream while the night shall lat.
Then waking we'll sail to the reddening
East,
Where morning comes in at the gate,
And watch the sun with his prancrg steedS
Ride up to the door in state.
Then again DER the bOundlcss blue we'll
float,
Far Off III the ether clear,
And never come back to the carthland
sweet
For a day and Il month and year
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1895-04-11
A Walled City in North Carolina.

Pollocksville, Jones county, will
hereafter be known as the "walled
city of North Carolina" Pollocks-
vile, it seems had hog law; that is,
they impounded stray porkers that
wandered about the city's streets. This
made the people outside the town
wroth. They didn't propose to have
the freedom of their swine abridged in
any manner whatsoever. Thereupon
they had the Douglass Legislature to
pass an act requiring a fence to be
built around the town of Pollocks-
vile.