Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1895-05-19
D0NLYT0 OUR AGE
Some SeaSOnablo Reflections On The
Celebrations Of Anniversaries.
RECEIVES MANY QUEER LETTERS.
Bin Gossette Tells About Some of
the Letters He Neutrality-suspicious.
A Rather Unique Invitation.

A Rather Unique Invitation.
Anniversaries are mighty queer things.
and Ike collectors. they have tendency
70 come around with remarkable regular
ity and persistency. There is. however
something very pleasant about some Of
these little yearly occurrences, while some
Of them are not calculated to III fellow
Tor special duty at the Young Mems Chris
tian Association. They never fail to re-
mind you that another twelve months
have passed into the cayerns OF time,
and when you size It UP you possibly
find yourself little worse of than at
the last reckoning. Birthdays seem to
come every few minutes, With their multi
plieity OF demands. to say nothing Of the
seasons when spring bonnets and winter
cloaks make small Luray cayerns in your
pocket-book. And then your own birth
day comes, and as you think Of what
you may possibly get you greet your
friends with smile and a bow
which resembles the pleasing atti-
tude affected by the acrobat as
TIC AlNAAit1 hNEI III tA'kAAtAAAN h+ta
vsral horses, and finds himself upon the
soft mating arranged for his feet. And
then again, when the time comes for
The children to put on shoes and socks,
YOU proWl around with a scowl upon your
Shakespearian features. Ike that the King
wears IA the play of Hamlet, leastWlse 1
&c, and i suppose you are no better than
other men.
w0Dld like to remark while speaking
of anniversaries that next month VIII
come an event that l have figured on
forty-seyen times. 1t is true that don't
remember much about the first few OF
them. and there is very little in connec-
ton with the others that 1 care to treasure
no IN memory dear; but l do sincerely
hone that neckties and handkerchlefs Will
he left out the list OF donations. Some
people evidently don't think l wear any
thing else, and there IS supply at home
enough 70 last me and all the BOYS Tor
several generations. Christmas. with its
lows and sorrows, rolls around before
you can get even with last years presents,
and then your weddng-day anniversary
keens coming, and goes from wood To
gold getting more expensive each time
II comes. until a man wishes from his
lum0st soul that time would 60 IN a
straight line. and not 80 clrcing around
bringing up these reminders. once
holders don't like anniversaries worm a
cent. and every time the calendar SHOWS
"a year Of service they feel Ike KNOCKING
the wing of old Man Time so ne Woulu
have to wait till the little obligations
OF tine last campaign had been met. 1t
MIGHT be said that anniversaries are
wearlsomc, for they recall the past, when
n not always pleasant, and really pro-
duce nothing new; they institute
cofoparisons which sometimes are not
favorable, and add to nothing on earth
save age. DO they not demand tribute
to the past that might be utilized as
premium to the future!
Gratitude and charity are beautiful
virtues. and while it grieves me TO re-
c0ld the fact, they are elec'S aDVu'
| as scarce as sympathy and compassion
/ al a sinners funeral Some time ago
/ / leaned friend a dime He forgot 10
/ return The coin. which was good Tor
palr of beers and yesterday, Wnen
! didn't have a quarter 20 loan him, he De-
came angry. and said the Idle Reporter
v-ss writing my letters. Wasn't tina.
mran2 The fact IS, the ldler and myself
are great friends, and really we get qI'le
..tsielc n I happen 10 have some mohes
I but he would just about as soon put ms
| nam. TO one OF my compositions as
/ would sign mine 10 an attempted piece
| ~ humor Of BIN Nye. And then lei
/ low came 20 me for a recommendation
4 which 1 gaze with apparent cneeriulhess'
/ and because be didn't get the JOB ne
! was looking for wrote u letter 10 one
~ nv bosses. saying | was no good.
! poygevsr. | suppose these things happen
40 an great men, and are only the niue
| necessities ts3t accompany prominence 80
| / have TO bear them with the same
| sort OF resignation that / take my meals
| from the mantel for several days atIer a
| long horseback ride.
My mail just at present IS very heavy
! and some mighty queer letters ma heii
! WaV 10 the office. The angular ist
| M some of the gum-chewing correspond
| cuts is about as easy 10 translate as the
| manuscript Of Or. Parker, and while the
| contents OF some Of the epstles are tuL
| OF interest. others are like the fruit iha'
! falls from the prickly burr OF the cnest
| rut-tree That doesn't matter, however
! sweet reader. and II your joke don
| appear in the paper you Just Diame th'
| city editor. Send me everything funny
you know, and II 1t is not very amusing
| Just send il along anyway ana WI
! try and make up anything that Is lack
! Ing. Here is something that the FELLOW
didn't intend TO be funny, but ! VIII give
| IL 10 YOU as IL came TO me. The gen
tleman lives in Caroline, and, as an s00l
people do, he reads the Dispatch. h'
claims to be very fond Of my column
ana says II frequently causes nm q
| forget his work. on one occasion h'
was laughing over some alleged piece o
humor, and when he came 10 hlmselr NJ
I was In the middle Of field, while M
horses and plow had strayed on seVe
raj hundred yards. where they Were
quietly feeding upon the fresh youni
corn. Well. this rustic genius says h'
owns a thousand acres Of land in Caro-
line didn't know the place was tina
big) and adds: III you ever come within
"a mile Of my house, stay there all night
Now, 1 don't think it would be so aw
fully amusing TO remain out I'm the Caro-
line forests all night, particularly II
were In a mile of the home OF such
! friend. This reminds me OF remark
heard az q banquet in Manchester a lev
days ago. After the old wine had beer
flowing around pretty freely several gen
tlemen engaged in conversation. and Wer
lamenting the fact that a certain disun
| guished resident had no children, whei
one Of the party remarked. 1T is Ger
talnly great misfortune. but don't yol
know. / think / have noticed that IL 4
hereditary in some fam.nes?'
l heard a pretty good thing the othe
day OF railroad man. that is, it wa
good as things 80 these days. The gen
tleman is a splendid fellow, has might
nice wife, and the sweetest little daughte
most ever saw, and he lives up +
fashionable West-Endom. Several month
ago when eggs were selling at - cent
for twelve, and the ham and eggs entr
was being left or the bill OF fare a
many OF the bOarding-houses, the gentle
man referred to conceived the idea ina
he would buy Up some hen fruit out o
the road and sell them TO his neighbor