The Van Buren press., 1895-04-27
THE WIFE OF THE FUTURE.
A Sample Case Of What She Is Expected
to BE.

He stood in the dark at the bottom OF
the stairs His coat was over his arm,
his shoes were in his hand, his collar
was unbuttoned, his hair dishevelled
and his breath would have put the
strength of Hercules to blush. He was
musing. What was he to say to her
this time? That he had been with a
sick friend? Bah! that chestnut dates
with Noah when he got back from his
first night out of the ark. Lodge?
Political caucus? Pooh! as soon might
he tell her that there are June bugs in
January. Why not tell her that he had
been dallying cover the chips at the
club, and then pass over q hundred OF
his winnings for herself by way of
reparation? All right in theory, but
where was the hundred? He had lost
just cool hundred and fifty to Col
Keenwun, and, the Lord knows, it
would take a month of severest econo-
mics to make that up. "Well, might
as well go and face the music" he
said despairingly, at last, as he softly
mounted the stair like wrath of by
cones.
Once in his room, he disrobed with
infinite caution. drank pitcher of wa
ter ate handful of cloves and nerved
himself up to the proper pitch. Open
ing the door of his wifes boudoir, he
suddenly stood staring. She was gone!
A horrible query seized him. Had she
fled to her mothers? Had she eloped
with that-that scoundrel of French
marquis who was SO excessively polite
to her of late? Oh, no! that thought
was madness He approached the bed.
No; she had not even been there. The
sweat was oozing from every pore. He
made his way to the bureau and drew
forth revolver "Blood!' he NUT
tered; "blood!-mine, his-any body S;
but bloodv'
There is no telling what he might
have done had not at that instant a
rattle at the keyhole below startled
him. He struggled to the banister
and looked over. There was the wife
of his heart taking her shoes off at the
bottom of the stairs and trying to hang
her hat on several imaginary pegs.
Slyly he crept back and leaped into
bed, feigning sleep.
She entered. Her face was little
flushed, her eyes somewhat bleary, but
she had the very air of her own hus-
band when he has got his story down
pat. Instantly the outraged sleeper
awoke with start. Madam, what
does this mean?" he demanded, rub
l.. IL 4 to Il 4
light and you-you, the wife of my
heart, the mother of my chi-hildren-
just come in at this disgraceful hour
from God only knows where. Give an
account of yourself. Where have you
be-hen-oh, wh-here?"
But the calm wife only faced him
cynically. II will not work off any OF
your own stale old canned goods about
lodges, sick friends and 'caucpses,'
she began a tri1e thickly, ''but III
come right to the point and the truth.
spent the evening at the Dorcas Ad-
vanced Woman's league, where we had
little quiet game. Here, my dear, v
she followed, tossing a roll of bills up
on the bed, take this and buy your.
self sealskin overcoat or diamond
ring. Suit yourself. l won two hun
dred and fifty dollars from Mrs. Keen
wun, the colonel's wife,
Then the foxy old duffer drew long
sigh, grabbed the roll as shipwrecked
sailor clutches a spar, and buried his
nose in his pillow. Forgiven" he
murmured moment later when he
caught his breath from the sweet
shock, and lay awake whole hour
winking at the clean hundred the two
of them were ahead of the Keenwuns.
IN. Y. World.