The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1895-04-24
Aaaersea gntttlisentts
How Hrs. Snarly Was Sllenced

aged, and everybody was AFRAID OF
her. The boldest and most fluent
woman (and alasl most Of them are
Auent) qualied and grew dumb when
ever she put in an appearance; while
the menl-Mrs. Snarly's contempt for
the men was something wonderful;
she said if she was man she'd be
man, a statement that was felt to be
beyond contradiction. If there was
anything that Mrs. Snarly did despise
above another, it was man without
backbone, and, according to her, there
were not Two men with a backbone in
the whole country; even Snarly him.
self never did have more than half of
one, and could not begin to stand
up for his own rights, much less for
hers.
Poor Snarly! Two years before this,
he and his backbone, such as it was,
had gone out to the little graveyard,
there to turn into dust with his father
and to. rest at last with the weary.
Mrs. Snarly had eaten up more people
than perhaps any other cannibal in
the world, and her appetite was con-
stantly improving. She was not at all
particular, and devoured everybody
that came in her way, though she
seemed to be specially fond of your
"precious good Sort" and of young
girls who chanced to be comely.
These were delightful morsels. and
she would take them into her mouth
and let them melt gradually, like cara.
mels. 1t was terrible thing to fall
into the mouth Of Mrs. Snarly, and
many there were that did it. At times
she would get enraged with the whole
population and come down upon the
little community like the wolf and
the Assyrian did once, and devour
every man, woman and child in it..
Upon such occasions she was wont to
say that she had devil in her as big
as horse, and there were those who
thought the estimate remarkably con-
servative.
No one ever dreamed of talking back
to her, for where was there woman
who was able to do such a thing, much
[less a man? Her neighbors had hard
time Of it, and the house nearest hers
had actually deprecated somewhat in
value, for who could stand such an
old tarter, with her chickens and pigs
and COWS?
At the beginning Of a certain year
this place was bought by a Mr.. Norton,
and in short time he had his family
moved in and took possession. His
friends warned him Of what was in
store; but he only smiled and said he
supposed they would be able to man
age somehow. Norton was a quiet,
good -natured man; but he knew thing
or two, and had played more than one
practical joke while a boy at college.
Mrs. Norton was timid, pretty little
woman, who adored her husband and
dreaded Mrs. Snarly.
Everything went on very well until
the spring gardening began, and then
Norton discovered that his neighbor' 8
chickens were likely to prove an in
tollerable pest. So one morning he
wrote note to Mrs. Snarly, and in his
most courteous manner requested her
to keep her chickens at home; but to
this she only replied that he must
build his old fence higher, for she
didn' t propose to shut up her chickens
for any man alive.
This was unfortunate, for Norton
still belonged to the living section,
and hoped to remain an active member
for years to come. In a course of a
few days second note was sent, in
which he pleaded with Mrs. Snarly to
come to his rescue, as her chickens
were turning his garden into barren
waste; but there was no answer to this
whatever. So there was third note,
in which he announced that if some
thing was not done Immediately, he
should be compelled to take steps
against those chickens.
"Just let him. said Mrs. Snarly to
the messenger, "just let him! That 8
all I have got to say. Take steps, in
deed! Hes pretty looking thing to
take steps, amt hep"
Now Mrs. Snarly was very proud of
her chickens, and we'll she might be,
for they were decidedly the finest in
the whole community. Two days after
this Mr.. Norton and his little son went
into the garden, caught goodly num-
ber of Mrs. Snarly's handsomest roost-
ers and hens, clipped as closely as pos.
sible one Of the wings Of each, and
then ran them home. 1t was fear
full deed and Mrs. Snarly's wrath
knew no bounds. She sent "Bill
Norton word that she was coming
up there to give him a piece Of her
mind and she would teach him how to
go round through the country NOM
mocking up other people chickens in
that frightful manner, as sure as she
was living woman! The more
she thought about it, the more she
7'My chickens! Mine! A long-leg-
ged, sleepy-eyed thing, with a lump Of
dough for wife! I'll settle him! I'll
show him thing or two, or my name
ain t Susan Snarly! That's one thing
certainl'
An hour or so later, Norton mount
cd his horse and started down into the
towa.
"My DEAR" said Mrs. Norton, 'sare
you going by Mrs. Snarly's house?'
"That' 8 my Intention he said.
"Well, do be careful" pleaded his
wife, "for that dreadful woman will
throw brick at you, or do something
terrible; I feel sure Of it,
"No, she won't!" said Norton.
"You see mean to get ahead Of her
this time, and do all the talking my
self. It may not be a very manly
thing-no, I don't reckon it is a very
manly thing-but somebody ought to
give the old tartar setting down for
once in her life, and I'm going to do it
in the next FIVE minutes. l mean to
be perfectly furious about those chick
ems when get down there And he
laughed as he rode off.
The house of the enemy was only
some hundred steps away, and near
the road. Mrs. Snarly saw Norton
coming. AS he reached the gate she
sprang out upon him with the full in.
tention of devouring him then and
there. hut before she could get her