St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1895-03-04
FUN FOR The BOYS.
FAKE sOUTHERNERs AROUSE
THE IRE OF WAR VETERANS
BY A FAKE CONVERSATION
Concerning Incidents of the Re-
beIIiOn and the Right OF the
Rebel Cause.

Two young newspaper men sat
at supper in the Windsor one day
last week when the hotel was hiled
with veterans of the war. They
were having a good time together
when the head waiter seated six old
soldiers at their table. Their eyes
flashed There was fun in sight,
harmless fun, of course, for no
American lives who does not honor
the veteran. The soldiers were
tired, and contented themselves list
ening to the animated conversation
between the reporters, who erected
cities, dethroned kings, purified pub
lie morals and indicated how the
government ought to be run, all in
the space of a few moments. Finally
the little reporter turned to the
other, and, with a sly wink, re-
marked:
81 notice you are eating corn
bread. They don't make it as good
here as in your old home in Vir-
GINA, do they?"
NO" was the answer; nothing
is so good up North as down South"
The soldiers all regarded him in
tently, but he was looking at his
plate.
"You were born in the South, were
you not?" said the little reporter.
Yes said the other; ''at the
just at the time my father was
robbed of all his property by the
Northern soldiers
1t was growing interesting for the
veterans. The little reporters eyes
sparl1led.
WAS your father a rebel?" he
asked.
No said the other, with bitter
emphasis, .he was a Southern sol
der. There were no rebels
Two of the soldiers exchanged
glances of scorn, and The others
listened. The plot was working
nicely.
What was your opinion of the
war;" asked the little reporter.
A cold, hard expression came into
the others face. In a low tone, tinged
with bitterness, he replied:
Il prefer not to answer you"
But your father must have had some
opinion on the subject" persisted the
little reporter
"Oh, he did. He believes, as 1 do,
that all those battles were merciless
butcheries, and that the Yankees won
from sheer force Of numbers, not be-
cause their cause was just, not be-
for fnht T
tell you, my boy, that might conquered
over right. The Northern soldier never
lived who could battle with Southern
err
Excuse me, young man." exclaimed
one of the veterans, unable to contain
himself any longer, you are talking
nonsense. You are uttering treacori-
able sentiments. You ought to he
horsewhipped."
He was shaking with rage. The re-
porters gazed at him scornfully, then
returned to their conversation.
"They talk about Sherman's march to
the sea and Sheridan's ride" continued
the alleged Southerner why, my 10y,
they never say a word about the sud
den marches they made from Bull Run.
When Stonewall Jackson, the greatest
general that ever lived, appeared on
the scene, those who We're not shot fell
dead from fright"
There was visible commotion at the
table. The veterans were boiling. The
nervous little soldier, trembling with
rage, exclaimed:
You are an ass, sir. You ought to
be hanged, like lot of your traitorous
countrymen were-hanged by the neck,
sir, to a tree
He spoke the sentiments of the crowd.
They were angry to the core.
And when they use the word REBEL
said the Southerner, they misapply the
term. They should apply it to them
selves
eff you don't leave this table at once,
SIR" exclaimed the excited soldier, I'll
have you removed
The reporter did not notice him, aid
as they arose to leave the table, having
finished their supper, the rebel reporter
said:
1.-The man who ought, by right TO lie
the president of this country today lies
in a Southern grave, the grass Of
which is kept constantly green by tears
from Southern eyes. He was Jefferson
! c. Davis"
A chorus of excited eXclamations
arose as the couple left the table. Had
| the veterans slipped into the billiard
room a moment later they would nave
| seen two reporters convulsed with
| laughter They were no more rebels
| than the veterans themselves.