The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1895-07-04
Let Us All Laugh,

ms season Is to swing all day
In q hammock built for two.
Judge.
Teddie-"What are woman's rights.
pa" Pa-"Everything they want. my
boy; always remember t~hat."-Boston
Courier.
You seem to be %cultivating old
Kaiones. What do you see about him
to admire?' His daughter Laura
Chicago Tribune.
Nell-"I wouldn't be in your shoes
for anything" Belle (swcetly)-'You
couldn't get into them, my dear
Somerville Journal.
Mrs. Hazeum-''How in the world did
your husband get SO terribly chokcd?"
Mrs. Snapper-"Eatin' bonelcss cod
iiSh.'-Boston Courier.
Student (translating)-"And - err -
thcn-er-er-cr-wcnt-cr and err"
Frofessor-"Don't laugh. gentlemen, to
err is human."-L.ife.
Wifc-"That's Il perfect dream of a
bonnet" Husband-"Yes; but I'll bet
it cost a regular nightmare of a price"
Philadelphia Record.
1T was Henry Clay. was it not, who
said: 4 would rather be right than
PRESIDENT" "YCS. but he wasn't"
How" lie was left.'-Brooklyn
Life.
Miss Amateur-"Are you musical,
Prof. Bistcn:" Prof. Bisten-"Yes; but
if You were going TO play anything,
don't mind my feelings Sing Sing
Courier.
"lou told me" said the weary cOllec-
tor. ito bring this bill the first" Eyes"
replied the editor. but | meant the first
time | had any moncy.'-Atlanta Con
stitution.
Trolley car conductor settle, now,
or get of" Dignilicd citizcn-"What
do YOU take me for. Sir:' Conductor
"Fi' cents, same rs anybody else."-In-
dianapolis Journal.
1T Gems to me" observed Criticus,
that Scribblcr'S book reads as though
he were addicted 10 the bottle" Yes"
assentcd Wagg. 'To Tie mucilage bot
tie" -Iiarper'S liazar.
Whyte-"I thought you said your wife
wrapped up this bundle" Brownc-'I
did" Whytc-"You must be mistaken.
There isn't a pin i'll the wrapping-paper
anywhere" @SOmerville journal.
The grass was parchcd until Ill men
Who gazed on ii were panied:
lie bought Il garden hose. and then
1t rained and raincd and rainel.
Washington Star,
Mr.. Triolct." said Mr.. SnaggS. with
q facetious air. ''hGW is the poetic IL
generally" replied the maker of verses,
with a sigh.-rittsburg Chronicle-Tele-
graph.
What's The matter, Najor:' The
matter. Miss Tomson" well. why
are YOU 50 sober "G-g-graciouS, Miss
Tomson. you wouldn't like me to be
. always intoxicated, would you?'-TLe
Sketch.
Agnes-I think Mr.. Slowe is hOrrid!
lie asked me for a kiss the other even
ing. and of course | Sa+d no. Gladys
What did he do then? Agnes-That's
Just it. He didn't do anything.-Yale
Record.
Mrs. Fogg- Only think of it. They
do say that Mr.. Figg was seen playing
whist last Sunday. Isn't it awful?
Mr.. Fogg-But then You must remem-
Der that Figg plays so poorly. Boston
Transcript.
Il hear that you are engaged to 4
girl with an ideal. You are likely to
lind that sort of girl pretty hard to get
long with 'Oh, | guess am all
i@ht. You see. | am the idcal."-Cin-
cinnati Tribune.
Col. Brown-By Jove! Miss Lilyblow,
how the costumes and makeup alter
people. | hardly knew you. Miss Lily.
bl0w-Do | look n fright then? Col.
Brown-On the contrary, you look
charming.-udge.
Owncr-I van you to sell these
horses for me. Auctioneer-I see their
tails are locked. Wen have to sell
them at wholesale. Owner-What!
Auctioneer-Well, | can't retail them
"hllauelpnla tecOfu.
Presiding Magistrate-HOw came you
to enter the premises? Prisoner
Please, YOU worship, . Il. M, no police
about. an open window on the ground
fioor-you would have climbed in your
self!-Fliegende Blaetter.
"My expenditures never exceed my
receipts said Hawkins. mine do"
sighed wilkins. Sin fact, | am very
much afraid l shall W have any
receipts for some of my last years eX-
penditures."-Iiarper's Bazaar.
Proud Mother-YOu haven't kissed
the baby. Bachelor Uncle-Um-er-
III ~. - rauaaulLa,. naNt tilAA III liSS