The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-05-30
THE SECOND CROP.
THEY REAP THE HARVEST OF THE
FIRST SOWING.
No Fresh Man Fit for Mstrimony-Like
Patent Medicine, Sbouid be "Wsli
shaken Before Taken


II has been asserted by our national
enemies that Woman spelled always WIN
a capital w. fails as journalist, De-
o,,,sa che ,,iil not begin her copy with
a statement. This writer, therefore, III
the second sentence of this article ex-
nlains the title by saying the second
cron refers 70 man when he has ones
been through the ordeal OF matrimony
and Is already 10 start again.
In such on edition as this, composed
edited and 10 be read by woman, IL y
humillating 70 make man the subject OF
review. II looks ike taking side track
Ia talk about him at all. For who spells
him with a capital? Who puts nm uil-
der a microscope and calls all science 10
watch hin, wiggle2 Who clothes him
with the adjective and analyses the deep
significance of his putting the children
4, he'd ar sewing on buttons? And yet,
If one writes about woman In certain
relation he cannot be ignored. As long
as woman must worry him and not each
other he has a significance.
So much then by the way Of statement
and apology.
DFLuDFD SOULS.
In this world there are young and silly
females. silly in the primitive sense or
innocence as well as feebleness, VINO
cherish an Illusion about a position
known as that Of the first wife (the latter
adjective we viii not dispute), TO begin
tho world with a man and spend the
morning sunshine Of their lives together.
Even cynics like Thackery, who put
proper estimate on a good cook and the
vantage Of port. has n way OF endowinS
the first wife with an infinite amount or
romance. We have an idea, most of~our
ideas are cotton out Of books which
arc but other peoples ideas. and not our
own, OF something sweet and fair. and
even sacred In the being who lays her
guileless hand IN that Of her first love,
her mind as innocent OF cooking as or
the advantage OF a former matrimonial
experience.
In literature she IS painted in white
| frock and untrOubled eyes tnat look
trustingly in the future.
There Is no telling how many sensible
girls have married space writers on %
a column, because they have read Pen
dennis and had n vision Of Laura IN her
youth and beauty, and nobility bestowins
| herself on that conceited and errauc
| Journalist, Arthur.
THE Evil. DONE BY AUTHORS.
1rvings sketch "The Wife" was the
undoing OF all the judlcious mothers OF
his century .
Mr.. Lowelrs poem about his young
bride. Mr.. EmersOn's rare show or ten
derness written between the essays Oh
self Reliance" and compensation,
his neriod Of widowerhood these fanciful
ana idealistic tributes 10 first and early
marriages have been as misleading as
advice from n specialist In medicine.
II YOU 20 10 an oculist with your leg
| In spljnts he will take out your eye ana
tell you you are wei.
A man with a dead wife, II he have
pretty talent with his pen. viii so
idealize and sentimentalize over the-de-
parted that romantic girls viii envy her
positlon and be willing to be dead ana
buried TO secure Immortality in such
fashion.
character Of literature. but II ii were
there are few terms too harsh in which
to expose IT.
NOT PIT ron MATRIMoSY.
You will note that II is not only the
first wife. it IS the dead wire VINO re-
ceives these tributes. They are not writ
ten TIN I'm the green pastures OF the
second crop the poet views dim iis-
IRE wandering through memory's sunset
air
To make another statement, no young,
fresh man is any more a tit subject for
matrimony than persimmons are good
eating before frcst. In the first place,
men are all exactly alike. while we have
Shakespeare for it that woman hath in
finite variety. For one thing. they are
all deaf and the reason women have
shril voices is because they spend their
lives in screaming at their male reia-.
tons.
Take any undicipllned man and you
will find he never hears any statement
made TO him by woman, that, if 1t
catches his attention at all, he does
not require her to repeat. And as they
are all deaf, so men are all without
Imagination. These statements must be
made In the plainest, most unvarnished
terms, and if there Is any variation from
the first telling that he processes not 70
have heard, and the second telling ne
declares he imporfectly understands,
there is the mischief 10 pay.
WITHOUT IMAGINATION.
A creature who is deaf and without
Imagination of course cannot be taken
in the raw. The woman in the white
frock and the trusting eyes has the Job
Of training him. Year in and year out
she teaches him how 10 be helpless and
an epicure and an egoist, but she also
teaches him how 20 manage. n she hap
pens to have tina, greatest earthly bless
ing-a spirited temper. She gets him be-
fore she reaches the white milestone"
as he Economically describes IL after ne
has placed it over her 10 take her con-
hdences with a grain OF salt. she
quickens his faculties until he ceases 70
say what" and he even so nearly "at-
tains' that he can understand she is not
in the least Ike any other woman that
ever lived, though he Is exactly like
every other man.
sAINTFD VInAGO.
II we might offer advice in gathering
for the second crop. gather the husband
Of deceased viraso. for he who begun
life with a strut OF a view halloo" mas
been known. is generally known 10
come down 10 the quietest and meekest
Of gaits, and when he is gathered a Sec
ond time, ne is not only intelligent. he Is
reasonable. But you may depend it took
the sainted virago a pretty time to ac-
cOmpllsh it. Go IN and rean her sowing