Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1895-04-04
sprinkles OF Spice.

Our Own Day-A Budget Of Fun.
eprinkles Of Spice.
'She's q very pretty girl. She is really
immense" And she has an immense
father, to boot"-Syracuse Post.
mamma, see how cold that poor
chestnut nan looks! Do give me ave
cents SO he can earn something
F~liegende Blaetter.
Colonel-"Are you one Of the nd.
vanced' women, Miss Passe?" Miss r.
(haughtily)-"Indeed l am not / was
only q last birthday."-New York
World.
Jimson-"Now, you wouldn't marry
me, would your" Miss Sears-"Most
certainly not, but why do you ask such
a question:" Jimpson-"Just to decide
q bet.'-Kate Fields Washington.
Maud-'That Swattles girl is wildly
infatuated with her new chum, that
Molly Jamesby. What does it mean, I
wonder" Madge-"It means that
Molly has a brother. Chicago Record.
She-"I have been listening to an aw.
fully clever man for the past hour"
He-"Then you may find me dull" She
MOT at all. One can't stand too much
OF that sort of thing, you Knoxville.
.Kicksy-"Wife, a you tell me why
I am like a henY Mrs. Kicksy-"No,
dear, why is it," Kicksy-"Because I
can seldom find anything where /
laid it overwhelmingly Rec
ord.
"What has Mrs. De style done with
the money her uncle left herr" "She
did intend to build q house, but l see
she has come out with new sleeves in
two dresses, instead."-Chicago Inter
Ocean.
Jilson says he does not see why there
should be any objection to woman
entering the legal profession. Nine out
enough that her word il law.-Bunalo
Courier.
First dog-What is that row down
the aisle? Second dog-That's n Of
Mulford's pups. He won his first prize
yesterday and his head has swelled so
they can't get his collar o1.-Chicago
Mail.
"How did Ohltimer like the act Of
the lion tamer?" asked the circus pro-
prietor. "He was bored to death. You
see, he used to be the manager Of an
opera company with three prima dom
mas in it."-Washington Star.
Mistress-Why, Nettie. you are a nice
girl! What are you doing with two
s~weethearts? Maid-O! please, ma'am,
l have only m The other only comes
when the one is i'll or on furlough.-
Neueste N%achrichten.
Miss Wahbash-WIl I see you at the
Thornborne's masquerade tomorrow
Mr.. Beaconstreet-Yes; I shall 60 az a
monk. "Oh, how lovely! And will q
hurdy-gurdy man have you on q
string indianapolis Journal.
At the Assizes: Judge-Have you
anything further to say? Prisoner
should only like to ask that the time
occupied by counsel's speech for the
defense be deducted from my term Of
imprisonment.-1l Popolo Romano.
"What is the correct form for the
opening sentence Of a marriage license
when an heiress captures an impover-
ished nobleman" he asked. II give 1t
up" she replied. "Know all men ly
these cash presents."-Chicago Post.
II am afraid" said the languishing
sentimentalist, that your being is not
attuned to welcome sweet spring once
more" Eyes it u.s." replied the practt-
cal man II took fifteen grains Of quiz
nine this Observation-Disclosures Star.
"Bill Doolan's band has been cap
tured In Oklahoma" remarked the
newspaper reader. you don't say So"
replied the man who pretends to keep
posted, but doesn't. "What was Bills
band doing? Playing Sweet Marie 2 :
Washington Star.
Merchant to clerk applying for Il
uation)-So you speak French and
glish? Clerk-And Dutch into thel
gain. Merchant-We have no deaN
with Dutchmenf; therefore I will
one-third Of your ~salary.-Plau
ecke.
MI. Sharpp-If there were no vi
en-, the men would have nothin
laugh at Mrs Sharpp-If there ,
no women. the men wouldn't VI
anything to laugh at. They WI
not feel like laughing.-New
Weekly.
Customer (timidly)-I-er-supposc
you have some-er-suitable books for
a man about to-er-be married? Head
clerk (promptly)-Yes, SIR. Here Skig-
giles, show this gentlman u line Of
largest sized Observation-Disclosures
Courier.
At the Hairdresser's.-A barber, af-
ter applying some sticking plaster to o
cash made with the razor, prepared,
nothing daunted, to continue the opera
ton. Customer-I only fight up to first
blood. The duel IL at an end; let u
shake hands.-Il Motto per Ridere.
Little Dot-.Uncle George says I'm
too loquacious.' What does that
meant" Mamma-sThat means ron
Is = aaM 49,