davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-01-12
HIS OWN FUNERAL.
How \ Drummer Reached Home to
Find Another's Body Being Buri-
ed for His.

/
Two drummers had scraped an ac
! quaintance in a train. Both had tolt
stories of experience when one asked
Did you ever attend your own funer
alp
why. no." replied the other.
well. l have. 1t happened this way
| was in Buffalo three years ago. and
telegraphed my firm in Connection
that l would take a certain train fol
home that night. Luckily for me
changed my plans at the last moment
and did not leave, some business hav'
ing cropped up that would require my
presence there for a few more days
and | telegraphed my firm accordingly.
That train was smashed up in a col.
lision, and large number of persons
were killed.
Il arrived at my home four days
later, just as funeral procession was
leaving it. For moment | was too
astonished to move, but finally mus
tered up sufficient courage to ask a
bystander whose funeral it was. What
was my amaZement to learn that it was
my own. According to my informant.
| had been brought home two days
previously, crushed and unrecogniza-
BILE, out of the wreck on the Grand
Central.
1.-The funeral cortege had got some
distance away before l had recovered
sufficiently to procure a conveyance to
go in pursuit. Not wishing to create
a scene in the street. determined to
wait until the church was reached.
therefore fell into line and joined my
own funeral procession.
ARRIVED at the church. the coffin
was lifted out and caraied up the aisle,
and the burial service was just about
to begin when | stepped to the chancel.
My appearance created aninstant pam
ic, everybody tumbling over themselves
to get out of the edifice. | was left
alone with the officiating clergyman.
In a few moments, however, my
friends and relations began to come
back in to the church. l called TO them
and told them that far from being
dead | was never more alive. Then
explanations ensued. 1t appeared
that my second telegram had never
been received, and beliveing me to be
in the wreck. they had picked out the
most likely-looking corpse as mine. "
New York Herald.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-01-12
The World of Labor.

London has 10. 800 cabs.
Oregon has women miners.
Chicago has $500 factories.
Japan has 1000 newspapers.
Electricity propells windmills.
Havana uses American coal.
Utah canals stretch LOCO miles.
Jerusalem has trolley road.
Germany has 26, ,24O breweries.
Corea has valuable gold mines.
America has $4,000 locomotives.
Chicago has a woman engineer.
Germany reports paper stockings.
Odessa is the chief tallow market.
A Moscow bell is worth $500. 900.
California has a l,100-acre orchard.
Portland, Ore, has Japanese bar
bers
boltimore has S25, 900 mausoleum.
Liverpool has anofficial rat-catcher.
Artificial whalebone is made ofleath.
er.
Vicksburg, Mich, farmers are plow-
ing.
Switzerland has |, 1860 miles of rail-
road.
Gas was first employed as fuel in
1868.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-01-12
CONSUMPTION.
Ii Is More Deadly than Cholera, Ty'
phus, Smallpox and Yellow
Fever Combined.

Fever Combined.
The World wrote the other day in
Advocacy of a systematic effort to
stamp out consumption-a contagious
disease more deadly than cholera,
ltyphus, smallpox and yellow fever
combined. and one more easily pre-
vented than any of these.
Since the publication of that article
a deluge of protesting letters has
been received. Manufacturers of
patent consumption cures" quacks
who get their living by deluding the
helplesss victims of disease and nu-
merous cranky men who wear easily
acquired NJ. d. s at the end of their
names have written to assert that con-
sumption is not contagious Or in
fectious disease, and that it is cruel
to propose to isolate its victims.
| To all these The World has but one
reply to make. When it said that this
worst of all scouragesis is adisease con-
veyed by infection it did not express
an opinion. 1t simply rehearsed the
positive. final, indisputable verdict of
science. a verdict established by ex-
pertinent and beyond the possibility
OF question by any person who is in
formed as to the results of bacterio-
logical investigation.
In the year 1889 the New York
Board of Health received and pub
lished an exhaustive report on this
subject from DR.. T. Mitchell Prudden,
DR.. Herman 5. Biggs and DR.. Henry
P. Loomis-three of the most eminent
psychologists in the world. They
gave it not as an opinion but as the
final verdict of science" that con-
sumption and other forms of tuber-
'culosis are ''both contagious and pre-
ventable. They went on to show not
only that no person ever has this
disease except he catch it from some
other. but that through neglect of easy
precautions patients suffering with 1t
recovery and Fastening death.
They showed, as DR.. Biggs did in
still greater detail in second report
of November. of 1893, precisely howand
under what conditions the infection
was accomplished. and how by proper
sanitary measures the disease might
be utterly stamped out within a single
generation.
CONSUMPTION kills l00. 200 persons
every year in this country. 1t is the
absence of sanitary precautions every
human being is exposed TO the infec-
ton every day OF his life. and DR..
Bi@gs declares that quite one-half of
all the people take the disease ut one
time or another.
We know perfectly how to stamp it
out. how to save the 5000 who annu-
ally die OF it in New York City and
the 100, 900 who fall victims every year
in the country. And yet the vender
Of z patent medicine who wants victims
to whom to sell his nostIum writes
that it is brutal inhumanity" on the
part of The World to join DR.. Biggs,
DR.. Prudden and DR.. Loomis is urg-
ing that this most deadly of all infec
tious diseases should be brought under
tine official sanitary surveillance" of
our Health Department.-New York
World.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-01-12
Lincoln's Wonderful Memory.

One of my cousins, John Holmes
Goodenow, of Alfred. Me-, was appoint
ed Minister to Turkey early in the
Lincoln administration, and was taken
to the White House before his depart
ure for his post to be presented to the
President. When Lincoln learned that
his visitor was grandson of John
Holmes, one of the first Senators from
Maine, and a man of note in his day
and generation, he Immediately began
the recitation of a poetical quotation
which must have been more than a
hundred lines in length. Mr.. Holmes,
never having met the President, was
naturally astonished at this outburst.
and as the President went on with this
long recitation, the suspicion crossed
his mind that Lincoln had suddenly
taken leave of his wits. But when the
lines had been finished the President
said: There; that poem was quoted
by your grandfather Holmes in a
speech which ne made in the United
States Senate in-''and he named the
date and specified the occasion. AS
John Holmes term in the Senate ended
in 1888, and Lincoln was probably
impressed by reading a copy of the
speech rather than by hearing it, this
feat OF memory appears mostremarka-
bic. If he had been by any casualty
deprived of his sight, his own memory
would have supplied him with an
ample library.-Century.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-01-12
Installation of Officers.

St. Marks Lodge No. %, y. F. s
\. NJ. met in regular communication
last night. Sth inst. The installation
of officers being in order. Distric
Deputy Grand Master.F. A. Kage. ap
pointed Virg p. Adams to act as GranC
Marshal, and proceeded to install The
following officers, for theensuing year
viz:
VIM. II. Huters, W. NJ.
Louis H. Graessle. ). w.
H. NJ. Ivy. J. W.
H. \. Po:t, Treas.
Geo. f. Chappell, Secy.
Rev. c. F. J. Tate, Chaplain.
G. w. Tarleton. Marshal.
w. ID. Vandiver, 5. d.
]. Maple, Wilson. J. d.
Chas. T. Lewis. 5. S.
Chas. A. Mcdonald. J. 5.
Virg. p. Adams. Tier.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-01-12
They Don't Like to See a Home En-
ferprtSe Succeed.

The attack on the Cape Brewery and
Ice Company through little WEAKLY
newspaper of this city does not sur
prise us. For several years the
Anthony & Kuhn Brewing Association
of ST. Louis had monopoly of the
beer business in this city and that big
syndicate is not willing to let go of its
hold here without fight. Before the
establishment of the Cape Brewery the
Anthony * Kuhn people were getting
from this section of country nearly
fifty thousand dollars annually. Every
dollar of this money went away from
here never to return. Now our home
brewery with its superior beer has
headed off the big syndicate of st.
Louis and as n resultthe big syndicate
has hired a newspaper to attack our
home enterprise. To make it appear
that our home people were dissatisfied
with the Cape Brewery the st. Louis
concern selected a paper in this city
to use as its agent to do its bidding.
OF course the paper gets pay for its
work.
In its attack the. paper says the Cape
Brewery is owned and controlled by
foreigners-St. Louis capitalists-not
a word of which is true. There is
little stock in the Cape Brewery held
in st. Louis, it is true, but very little,
and that would not remain in ST.
Louis hands if the st. Louis stock
holders would sell their shares. The
investment is paying the share holders
and no stakeholder is willing to sell.
The Cape Brewery is an enterprise
that is a benefit not only to this city
but to all of Southeast Missouri. 1t
keeps at homU thousands of dollars
that formerly went to st. Louis. 1t
expends annually eight or ten thousand
dollars for labor, every dollar of which
remains in this city and circulates
among our people. 1t gives employ
ment to a large number of men who
could not live in our city were the
brewery not in operation. 1t is home
enterprise that good citizens ought to
patronize to the exclusion of foreign
syndicates.
We have no fault to find with Mr..
Frank Unnerstall. who is the agent for
the Anthony & Kuhn Brewery. He is
an old citizen and clever gentleman.
AS agent for the Anthony & Kuhn
people he is doing his duty, but he
must not expect that his company can
control the trade in this city as it did
before our home brewery was estab-
lished. He can rot do it. Our people
are learning that self preservation de-
mands that they shall look after home
first, and to do this they must patron
ize home enterprises for everything
that they need that can be had at
home.
There is no better beer brewed in the
country than the beer OF the Cape
Brewery. This is admitted by all
judges of beer. Then why should We
send our money to another city for an
inferior article towhatwehave athOme?
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-01-12
Entertained HIS Friends.

Wednesday evening Prof. and Mrs.
MCGEE gave a delightful five O'Clock
dinner, it being the anniversary of the
Professors birthday. The following
were present: Mrs. Fuhri and the
Misses Gordon, Johnson and Fee, and
Messrs, McLeary, Wood, Ealy and
Vesey. After enjoying a very pleas
ant evening the guests departed, wish
ing the Professor many retm rs of the
daV,
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-01-12
There is Something in the Wind

The present Grand Jury is evidently
going to stir up muss. About half
the male population of this city went
before the Grand Jury this week.
What the matter is no one will know
till the Grand Jury completes its in
vestigation.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-01-12
Never too Late

To go to Hirsch Bros. if you want a
good wholesome ham that is sweet and
not to salty. For sale ct Will War
ren's. Iw
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-01-12
DANIEL WEBSTER.
He Was Unknown in His Native
Town by His Fathers Friend.

''Some of Henry Waterson' sharp
sayings,are going the rounds again.
Henry inherited his keen wit and his
mack of saying things from his father,
who was one of the best of story tel
lers. Somebody once spoke in his
hearing of the satisfaction men derive
from fame.
" 'Fame!' echoed Mr.. Waterson.
/ never hear the word that [ do not
think of Daniel Webster's story of
the time he met an old gentleman in a
railway car, and learning that he was
from New Hampshire, thought he
would draw him out q little about
the old home State. A little more con-
versation showed that the stranger
came from Mr.. Webster's native town.
Here was an opportunity not to be lost.
Did you ever hear of the Webster
family there?" asked the statesman.
- oh, yes: know them very we'll.
The old man and were great friends.
An! tnen you can PROBABLY tell
me what became of the boys?'
= We'll, Ezekiel became a big law
yer the biggest lawyer, l guess. in
all New Hampshire. The girls, too,
turned out we'll
You don't say so; and wasan't
there a boy named Daniel?'
The old man pondered a little be-
fore he answered.
i" Now, | come to think, there was
a boy named Danl, but he went down
to Boston years ago, and no one amt
heard of him since. Kate Field s
Washington.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1895-01-12
The Currency and the Revenue.

The Democrats would gain more
favor in their crusade for currency re-
form if they were disposed to deal can
didly with the matter. They insist
that the depletion of the gold reserve
is due to the redemption of greenbacks
rency system is, therefore, to blame
for the misfortune. This is not true.
as everybody knows who has an intel
ligent understandings the facts in the
case. The redemption of greenbacks
has been going on ever since January
l, 1879. Throughout this period of
sixteen years the same condition has
existed that is now declared to be the
source of q grave financial trouble.
The reserve was maintained until a
recent time-that is 10 say, until the
Democratic party obtained full control
of the Government and began TO mani
fest its incapacity for the work with
which it was thus intrusted. So long
as Republican rule lasted there was
no difficulty IN that relation: and yet
the ''endless chain" that Cleveland
speaks of was in constant operation.
Why did the reserve remain nintactdur-
ing all of these years? Because the re-
ceipts were equal to the expenditures,
and accordingly there was no monthly
deficit to be made good by drawing
upon the reserve. This is the whole
story.
There is not enough revenue at pres
ent 20 meet the necessities of the Gov
ernment: and this is what causes the
gold reserve to decrease. No kind of
currency reform can change the situa-
ton. An increase of the circulation,
or an alteration of its character, will
not put more money in the Treasury
to pay the public expenses. 1t is not
the currency that makes borrowing
necessary, but the monthly shortage
of revenue. and this shGris; ge is attrib
utable to Democratic monkeying with
the tariff and the finances. The cur
rency system is not perfect, but 1t
worked satisfactorily when the Repub-
licans we're in power. and it is working
well enough nowso far as its legitimate
purpose is concerned. 1t needs re-
revision, unquestionably, to suit cir
cumstances and toprolong the blessing
of honest money: but it has nothing to
do with the raising of revenue. and so
it can not be made to supply the want
of sufficient funds to defray the cost of
carrying on the Government, which is
the true explanation of the continued
depletion of the gold reserve, with the
attendant necessity of selling bonds.
Let the Democrats go to work and put
stop to the accommodating deficit, and
the reserve will cease to dimish. That
is where the trouble lies. and that is
the only place where an effective
remedy can be applied.-Globe-Demo-
crat
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1895-08-16
DON'T STOP TOBACCO.
How to cure yourself while using II

How to cure yourself while using it,.
The tobacco habit grows on man
until his nervous system is seriously
affected, impairing health, comfort
and happiness. To quit suddenly is
too severe shock to the system, as
tobacco, to an inveterate user becomes
a stimulant that his system continil-
ally Graves. Baco-Curo is a scientific
cure for the tobacco habit. in all its
forms, carefully compounded after the
formula OF an eminent Berlin Physi-
clan who has used it in his pri-
vate practice since 1872, without a
failure, purely vegetable and guaran-
teed perfectly harmless. You can
use all the tobacco You want, while
takink Baco-Cnro, it will notify you
when to stop. We give q written
guarantee to permanently cure any
case with three boxes, Or iefund the
money with 10 per cent. interest.
Baco-Cnro is not substitute, but a
scientific cure, that cures without the
aid of will power and with no incon-
venience. 1t leaves the system as
pure and free from nicotine as the day
you took your first chew or smoke.
Sold by all druggists with our ironclad
guarantee, $1.OO per box, three boxes,
(thi:tv days treatment) $3.50, or sent
direct upon receipt of price. SEND
SIX TWO-CENT STAMPS FOR
SAMPLE BOX, BOOKLET AND
PROOFS FREE. Eureka Chemical
& ,ianufac: turing Chemists, Lacrosse,
Wisconsin.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1895-08-16
OF Interest to Ladies'.

We offer no apology in placing be-
fore you "THE LADIES' SAFE PRoTEc-
TOR" it is absolutely reliable, easily
adjusted, does not become misplaced
and insures protection. Can be worn
when desired without observation or
knowledge of another and prevents
disagreeable annoyance under certain
conditions. If you use it once you
will never be without it. 1t is faith
full and reliable friend whenever need
ed by special circumstances requiring
its use. 1t is an article every woman
should keep ready for immediate use.
1t is simple to use, and inspires con-
fideuce to the woman using it. 1t is
reliable and scientifically made, in
sures protection without injury to
health, as any good physician would
say. We are of the opinion that no
article has ever been made which will
give as much satisfaction to the wo-
man of to-day as 1.-THE LADIES SAFE
PROTECTOR" The immense sales OF
this article is substantial indosement
of orr claim Do not therefore ex-
pertinent with any OF the numerous
unreliable articles, as tbs both danger
Gus to health and expensive to do so.
Such experimental can only result
in loss of time, disappointment and
dismal failure. Ladies' should remem-
her this before ordering other goods
and not waste their time and money
on inferior articles The est is al
ways the cheapest THE LADIES
SAFE PROTECTOR" is sold under posi-
tive guarantee for for use for one wear
with full direction l. sent sealed III
plain wrapper n.on receipt of express
or money order for ~, three for $500
Do not wait but order at once Ad
dress THE LA CROSSE SPECIALITY Co.
La Crosse. Wis
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1895-08-16

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ssq9 osIe s3u!puR4s MAS $! Vo!qM 10
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d. ga!qM A3!o uemoH-oITc0 p9Ie5AsI
sAsq 'eouelI 'oq31eS aq3 70 9u9m9IDd
- '9!}2% ri pR9ss!O u! sxoIIvAvDx4
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1895-08-16
ONE KIND OF SAVING.
| A Thrifty Woman's Economy That Comes
Exceedingly High.

exceedingly l1l8n.
A thrifty woman had joined one Of
those cooperative saving societies.
whose earthly function is to protect it's
patrons against extortionate prices by
securing to them reduction of ten per
cent. at the stores belonging to the
combination, says the Detroit Free
Press. She was enthusiastic over the
opportunities for economy the scheme
presented and her husband was rather
disposed to be skeptical on the subject.
At the close Of the first week she had
talk with him.
"You don't believe in the society,"
she said, tentatively.
"Not altogether he confessed.
"Well, whether you do or not, I've
saved ten dollars this week; over one
dollar and fifty cents day for six days"
"How?" he inquired.
"By using my tickets, of course. I
bought one hundred dollars worth Of
things and only paid ninety dollars for
them"
"Ah," he said, beginning to figure.
Eyes, did, and next week. I'll save
twenty-five dollars, or over four dollars
. day." and she was more enthusiastic
than ever.
mo you won't. my DEAR" he said,
emphatically. You arc altogether too
economical. This business of spending
two hundred and twenty-five dollars sto
save twenty-five won't work. You
throw that ticket in the fire and begin
to retrench and reform in some other
direction, please" and she began to cry.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1895-08-16
CAMElS OF MONGOLIA.


THOUSANDS Nen0 Their ivy over the
Rough Trails of the Tartar Strp:'-s.
The popular idea rcgardin. the
ship of the desert" is completely at
fault if applied to the camels II Mon
golia and Pcchili. according Ia th> t.'a-
fury. Juvenile natural histories ;..i:: If
the soft padded foot f,;r wi.i:.h The am
imal is so distinguished, IL, # sandy
bottom" were the only surface upon
which he could walk with comfort. But
the greater part of al mercantile
transport in North China is performed
by camels, and, except in the immediate
meighborhood of Pokin, sand is an I'M
known luxury to this much-enduring
beast.
How vast is the number of camels
thus employed may be guessed from the
fact that during one days journey we
passed more than eight hundred wend-
ing their -lilatory way from the Tartar
steppes to the plains of Chilli. They
chiefly carried sOda-soap, kind Of an
1mal alkali or I've found on the borders
OF mongolia, and cut into blocks, each
weighing about two hundred and sixty
pounds.
At no time is the camel a progressing
object. But here nature provides him
with SO shaggy a covering that his I'M
calmly form becomes even more hid
oous. Camers wool, by the way, useG
for padding clothes, is an article OF con,
siderable traffic hereabouts, and when
spring zephyrs take tho place OF winter
blasts, the herdsmen Of the plateau
shear their camels by process which
preserves the merit of extreme sim
plicity, pulling out by hand whatever
has not been shed naturally. Many an
imals are kept for the sole purpose OF
yielding wool, but the amount obtain
able from each is singularly dispropor-
toned to the huge bulk OF its producer.
A heavy fleece taken from q full-grown
camel will seldom average over seven
pounds, while eight dollars is high
price for the picul of one hundred and
thirty.three pounds.
The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1895-08-16
RANCH Municipalities.
OuAchmen In the West Who have n"s"oA
Thoroughly Americanizeo'

In 1.-The Wilderness Hunter Theo-
lore Roosevelt says that as Il rule DO.
body di plays much curiosity aoou'
other pcoplc's antecedents i'll the 1ar
west: but on one occasion Mr. Roose'
velt returned to his ranch and 1onnn
strange hunter staying there, anu
asked his foreman who was this new
conner. who evidently apprecia ted good
.hinrs and seemed inclined to make
permanent stay. according to the Gus
torn OF the country.
NV foreman. who had large way OF
looking at questions of foreign eth
nology and geography, responded with
indiiicrcncc:
..Oh. he 5 kind of Dutchman; but
he hates the other Dutch mortal. He's
from an island Germany took from
France in the last war.
Thi; :ccucoi puzZling: bpt it turned
out that the island" in Question was
Alsacc.
Native Americans predominant
among the dwellers on the borders OF
the Wilderness. and in the wild coun'
try over which the great herds OF the
cattlc1nen roam; and they take the
read in every way. The sons OF the
Germans. Irish and other European
newcomers are usually quick to claim
to be straight United States" and to
disavow all llinship with the fellow
countrymcn of their fathers.
Once, while with hunter bearing a
German name, we came by chance on
a German hunting-party from one OF
the eastern cities. One of them re-
marked to my companion that he must
be part German himself, to which he
cheerfully answered.:
We'll. my father was Dutchman,
but my mother was white woman
I'm pretty white myself" whereat the
Germans glowered at him gloomily.