Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1895-08-25

IL
Going to the foot of the bed the captain
raised this cover and slowly. carefully
and evenly rolled it up, displaying 10
this company of soldiers a pair of the
smallest feet, the finest ankles and the
handsomest white legs their eyes had
ever rested upon. That was all With
one accord every man raised his hat and
quietly filed out. Long after the story
was told, and when the Puritan captain
was an old man and his grandchildren
were around him, when the Stuarts had
their own and the Guelphs did not rule
England. the toast that excited the
greatest enthusiasm was "To Grand
mammals Beautiful Legs l hope now
that l have gratified the desire of my
unknown friend.
Speaking about storiesit is funny
how nowadays, all the queer stories are
put on Mrs Paran Stevens One ere
dfed to her and which is going the
rounds really belongs to a handsome
Baltimore matrOn, and happened here
This is it: A nOuveau richie said to her,
oh, Mrs. Howard who is that young
woman they are making such fuss alb
out; l never heard of her before, who is
she?" And the answer came, "My dear
woman. I don't know who she is any
more than knew who you were when
people asked me that last summer"
And this. which is bit of a chestnut,
is tackled TO Mrs. Stevens, too, but isn't
hers. A New York woman was at a
dinner in Boston. A clumsy servant
dropped a beautiful platter on which
rested a boiled tongue, and shattered it
in d thousand pieces. The hostess new
/ er lost her equanimity. but said. That's
nothing but a lapsus lingua," and
everybody shrieked with laughter. The
New York woman came home, rehears-
ed the incident with a servant and at
her next dinner party he was in
structed to drop the turkey. Then she
said ooh, that's nothing but a lapsus
linguea." and nobody laughed. And
she said cob. my, New York people
are so stupid: Boston people catch any
thing so quickly
SPELLING LOVE UP TO DATE.
Another nOuveau richie got letter in
which she said: "Amour in England
is Just now spelled fove.' She thought
she would improve on it, so she wrote
to another friend: Amour in New
York is Just now spelled $ove."
Silly? Perhaps but then it is silly
| season of the year, and little bit or
fun goes a great ways. I have gotten
to wondering as I look at some Of the
women here. what really constitutes
style in appearance. The woman who
is counted the most stylish looking in
the place lacks youth, lacks beauty, has
only a few gowns, and yet are con-
scious of an intangible something that
makes her stand out from among all
| the other women and attract your at
| tention.I believe style is born with peo-
ple. Worth used to say he could make
a woman look like a picture, but he
couldn't give her style. Some people
say that it is in the carriage, but |
! doubt it. 1t cannot be analysed. But
| the woman who possesses it has q gift
of great value. for she can idealize even
a shabby gown. There are beautiful
women who lack it altogether. There
are ugly women who possess 1t to the
finest degree. The famous Princess
Metternich used to say that she knew
she was as ugly as a monkey, but that
|
| Of greater worth than beauty, and that
if she and Madame Recamier we're III
| the same room she would be noticed
| first. l know a woman who IS long
| and slim. has small eyes and a Wretched
complexion, and yet she is, without any
! doubt. the most stylish woman IN the
/ place. She holds here parasol Just as
Mace She holds her parasol just as
clothes: even when they are ofthe SIM
plest material, an air OF good form tnaa
would be impossible for any other Wo'
man.
BIBLE JEWELS.
BY the bye. a girl had an Old Itsta-
meme on the veranda the other day ana
she said she had discovered why Jew
esses. as a general thing, had liking
for earrings She found that, long be-
fire the DAVIS of Moses, they were raw
orl1e love gifts, and when JOB had thaC
had attack of boils, the friends VINO
came 10 condole with him each brought
him an earring of gold. l cannot IN
derstand lust why an earring was eX-
nected to express consolation, unless
they were 10 be put in the melting POT
| GOdL2tu
wavs referred to as the most patent OF
men. but really and truly l ial 10 dls-
cover how he was patient. l lnousnt
IN he patient one had to endure in qul-
etness hut he talked his woes, and
walled his woes. and wept his woes, and
had all his relations, all OF his friends,
and all the dogs Of the ne!ghborhood
visit him 10 cheer him up. And with
such lot to entertain him, it seems to
me that il was his duty to forget his
troubles and make himself agreeable.
SuDpose We women started this KIND or
natiencs. bowling, moaning and talk
ing? I think mankind would, very
probably. take us by our necks ana d,p
us into the sea, for the woman VINO d.
1atas on her woes is most Objectiona-
ble. Patience TO me means, as far as
possible. concealing your troubles,
looking out for the bright side. and be-
ing as chirpy as a canary bird. Speak
ing of birds, do you think there is any
thing quite so nasty as a parrot? There
is woman here who has got one. and,
when he isn't screaming in the noarsest
of tones. he IS swearing IN German or
saving the alphabet He always
seems like such'a vulgar bird to me.
Naturally. one connects him with a
monkey and if there IS anything on a
par with him 1t is that vile beast who
claims to be our ancestor. Mr.. Darwin
NAV have had a monkey for his great
grandfather. but I declare l didn't and
I am sure YOU didn't. And still. haven q
Won seen men that looked eXactely ike
monkeys and had all their mean little
ways?
THE BOOK OF HUMANITY.
And haven't you seen women with
| snnn- lil-n narrnts and NOices that Wore