Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-07-04
sprinkles of Spice.

sprinklcs of Spice.
Trilby, Triiby, give US your answer
true,
What In the name Of goodness have We
ever done to you?
Town Topics.
Miss Cross--what would you do II
you Were In my shoes? Miss Sharpe
Turn my toes out-Yonkers States
man.
"Aw-why do you make your own
cigarettes" "My-aw-doctor ordered
me to take some light exercise."--Pall
Mall Budget.
Citticus-I wonder how 1t Is that so
few women stutter when they talkf
Witticus-They haven't time.-Tam-
many Times.
Chimmie-Wot's de matter wild your
Chonnie-I'm sick. De doctor says I've
got an ulster in my t'roat-Philadel-
phia Record.
She-Tell me, when you were In the
army, were you cool In the hour Of
danger? He-Cool? I actually shiv-
ered.-Tid- Bits.
The boy stood on the burning deck,
And said, "As I'm alive,
This weather makes nae thing of June
In 1885," Washington Star.
She-What kind Of lawn mower did
you get, dearie? Hell got a feather
weight, darling, so you can push it
Louisville Courier-Journal.
New Arrival-Are all your rooms en-
gagged? Hotel Proprietor-Yes; but
there are lot Of summer girls about
here who aren't.-Philadelph Record.
Maud-That stupid fellow proposed
to me last night. He ought to have
known beforehand that should refuse
him. Marie-Perhaps he did.-Brook-
Ign Life. ~
"Oh, wed with me; oh, be my wife.
I'll be the sunshine Of your life."
Sunshine! Horrorsr' said the maid,
"Such talk at ninety In the shadew
indianapolis Journal.
Summer Resorter-And Is everything
on your farm nice and fresh? Farmer
Nice and fresh? guess you'd think
so IL you'd see some Of our city board
ers.-Boston Transcript.
First Sojourner-Do you always get
your meals on time here? Second So
journer-Yes; have to till some Of my
friends show up. I'm deucedly glad
to see you.-Boston Courier.
Miss Oldgirl-You must promise not
to kiss me while I am unconscious.
Dentist shall do nothing of the kind.
Miss Oldgirl with happy sigh)-Turn
on the gas.-Leslie's Weekly.
Experience in the worlds ways shows
That as general rule
The politician who has the push
Is the one who has the pull.
Boston Courier.
Guest-By Jove, I've eaten such
hearty dinner that guess I'll have to
60 up stairs and sleep 1t off. Hotel
Clerk-In that case, we'll have to
charge you with a meal taken to your
room.-Life. t ~
What Is the new boarder's business,
Pauline" asked the Cheerful Idiot.
"Heisrunniga bicycle school," replied
the waiter girl. "Oh! Teaching the
young idea how to scoot, is he?-Cin-
cinnati Tribune. scsSss
Jester-Of course you've heard the
latest about Boozeman; he isn't drink
ing any more. Quester-Don't say;
well, that's to his credit. Jester-Oh,
no; 1t is to his lack of credit.-Rich-
mond Dispatch.
Mr., Busyman-I have been summon
ed for jury duty. how can get of?
Lawyer-Oh, just let them see that you
know how much two and two make,
and they'll excuse you in a fifty
Brooklyn Eagle.
Hell hear you attend the Handel
and Haydn performances. Were you
present at the "Creation?" She Qn-
dignantly)-I suppose you will next
want to know If sailed in Noah's arkf
Boston Beacon.
"Fact is" said one man, 81 married
because / was lonely as much as for
any other reason. To put II tersely,
married for sympathy" "Well," said
the other man, you have mine."-In-
dianapolis Journal.
Miss Kenneth-How is it that you do
not use the telephone in Russia? Mr..
Potter-Well, you see, hello" In Russia
is itkrajanjanski"- the
telephone has not been introduced into
that country.-Truth.
Willie S.-Mamma says she always
likes to call on you. Mrs. Twicken-
ham (highly gratified)-Does she, Will
lie? Willie-Yes'm. When she goes
away she says she feels so satisfied
with herself.-Brooklyn Life.
But papa" pleaded the impassion-
ed maiden, "he is the only man love-"
That's right" replied the brutal old
man; IT am glad that daughter Of
mine does not love more than one man
ut time."-Household Words.
Madame" began Mr.. Dismal Daw-
son, ''you see before you victim Of
circumstances" ooh, I do?" said the
suspicious lady. "What circum-
stances?" Straitened circum-
stances, acknowledgements Jour-
nal. ~
Mr.. Ennicott-There a lot Of steam
er trunks piled out conspicuously in
front Of Mrs. Slimpocket's house wait.
ing for the cxpressman. What does
that mean? Mrs. Ennicott with scorn)