Smyrna times., 1895-10-23
SOBER JOKERS.

small steamboat that made tri-weeklv
trips. They had never been on a
steamer before, and they were city-bred
and unaccustomed to travelling; there
fore the trip was one of great novelty
to them. Although it occupied many
hours, they were quite surprised when,
toward evening, the steamer neared a
tiny wharf, and the Captain told them
they had arrived at their destination.
They expected to meet man as finely
dressed as Quaker could be, for
Cousin Sam was very rich. Beside,
this was their wedding tour, and, of
course, he would do honor to the Oc-
casion. Imagine their astonishment,
therefore, when out of the shadows of
the forest strobe a tall, slovenly man.
his gray hair falling on his shoulders,
his hat on the back of his head, his
clothes of the toughest hOmespun, and
his trousers tucked into his great,
clumsy boots ! How dost thee do.
Cousin Elizabeth % cried he, shaking
the bride warmly by the hand without
waiting to be presented to her by John,
although he had never seen her before.
Il hope thee will be happy jump in
Jump in % And, catching her in his
arms as if she were baby, he hoisted
her to two-wheel ox-cart that stood
by, and babe her husband take a place
behind her. There was a board across
the rear part of the vehicle for them to
sit on, and one in front for Cousin Sam
who was the driver. The bottom of the
cart was filled with corn for the mill.
Gee Gee Whoop shouted Sam.
fOurishing a long-thonged, short-han-
died whip in such a way that it made
loud reports like pistol, and off went
the oxen at gallop, causing the cart to
rock like a see-saw for it was a cordu-
roy road they were driving on-that is
a road made of rough logs laid over a
swamp.
As l said, the cart rocked like see
saw when Sam was up, Elizabeth and |
John were down, and when Sam was
down, they were up. They seized hold
of the sides of the cart with one hand. |
and with the other clasped each other
round the waist, not from any sudden
access of affection, but because they
were afraid of falling out.
'"This is dreadful !' whispered the
bride to the groom. ''DOn't thee think
thee can get thy cousin to drive slower j.?
ut is impossible, groaned John, the
words coming by jerks by reason of the
jolting. 81 know him of old. He is a
practical joker. If 1 ask him to go
slower he will only drive the faster.
Our discomfort is fun to him."
'Then think I'll sit on the sacks"
said Elizabeth, with a mournful glance
at her pretty lavender silk wedding
dress, which would be utterly spoiled
by the contemplated move.
''Can thee stop a minute. Cousin
Sam ?" she screamed, elevating her
voice above the rumbling and ereaking
OF the dreadful vehicle in order to be
heard. ''Can thee stop minute while
l get on the sacks ? The jolting is
dreadful -
There was a pleading in her voice.
despite its shrill intonation, that would
have softened the heart of anybody but
sam {; but directly she was reseated. he
set off at the same pace. He drove to
'he grlst mill, where he exchanged the I
corn for flour, which quite finished the {
'uin of the dress. When they arrived ,
It the plantation Elizabeth looked as if
The Just escaped from snow storm. q
md Johns fine brown suit of broad 5
10th was covered with a still browner G
oat of dust. a
The poor little bride felt ready to a
amt when she perceived Mrs. Samuel /
nd all the little Samuels, arrayed in l
heir best, drawn up under the wide I
'orch, waiting to receive her, and a 1
rowd of grinning negroes ranged in
anks along the drive. But she man il
ged to comport herself with dignity, p
nd descended from the cart with toler- O
BILE grace. ..
"How dost thee do % cried Mrs. VI
amuel, embracing her warmly. Il
Chow do, young missis %. shouted a.
ne negroes, while all the children held
p their faces to be kissed. NJ
Then Elizabeth was conducted Il
trough the great hall and barn-like !;
into a huge chamber in -,
ne middle of the room was a great four r.
ost bedstead draped with white mos .,
uito netting. d
''Thee looks fatigued," said Mrs. q,
amuel, comfortably seating herself in
cane rockingham and watching n
1uple of negro women divest Elizabeth
her dilapidated dress. =.
docs Cousin Sam always drive so i
st queried Elizabeth. a.
"Oh, yes, always. He's fond of his n
Ike, and likes to rattle people M y o.
RS. Samuel spoke as though her bus- ~
lnd's idiosyncrasy was rather TO be Nc
than otherwise. sI sun- =,
'se it has tired thee somewhat felt a,
dreadfully at first, but now l rather 40
ke it, and the children fairly delight ~
the motion, So like see-saw, You "a
low, continued Mrs, Samuel, rock h
g herself to and fro. n,
Elizabeth said no more, but resolved
at her visit here should be brief one
er body ached all day long and re-
sed to be comforted.
Inc following morning party of city ne
uslns came down the river to spend a ca
W days at the plantation, and John III
companied Sam to the landing. The liz
dies arrived in gray silk dresses and nc