Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-12-12

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To put your trust in princes is
Unwise in many eases; y
But it is worse to trust i'll kings
When t'other man has aces.
-Yenowine's News.
Race prejudice is all right if it leads
q man to refrain from putting his mon.
ey on the wrong horse.-Y onkers States
man.
''Did 1 understand you to say you
were pugiEst?' Oats what" Man
ual, oral OF caligraphic ?"-I Indianapolis
Journal
She-Have you ever loved anybody
else Harold? He (apologetically)-
Well-you know how it is yourself
Somervil1e Journal.
He-Trudchen, DEAR this kiss tells
you all have to say. Have you under
stood me? She-Oh, please, say ~
charlottesville Warte.
She says she can't afford a cab 4
Expenses she must curb,
Yet when she walks upon the street
Her carriage is superb.
New York Herald.
Spencer (vindictively)-Fve an old
score to settle with you. Ferguson
(b1ithely)-I know you have That twen-
ty you owed me SO long.-New York
Herald.
Mrs. Shopleigh-Is it any trouble to
you to show goods? Mr.. Cashcall-No,
ma'am. But it's al good deal of trouble
to sell them, sometimes.-New York
Herald.
Foreman fhrough the speaking tube)
Where do you want that stuff about
Turkey put? Night editor yelling back)
On the inside, of Chicago
Tribune
The glorious charge of the Light Brf-
gade,
BY Tennyson famously sung,
Is nothing to that which my doctor
made
For taking look at my tongue.
-Yenowine's News.
Muggins- They tell me Bjones is a
very devoted husband Buggins-Yes.
indeed. Why he actually goes to his
own wifes afternoon teas.-Philadel-
phia Record.
Elfse-My dearest Stella! I haven't
seen you for four months. How is your
Charles? Stella-Oh, my Charles has
changed very much since then. His
name is now Robert!-Fliegende Blaet-
ter.
We are taught by experience stern
That the girl who doth manage to catch
A husband with money to burn
Is likely to make good match.
Philadelphia Record.
Mrs. Snaggs-I understand that pa
per is made Of wood now. Mr. Snaggs
Yes; SO is string. "String?' Eyes;
what else do you suppose cordwood is
used for"- Pittsburg Chronicle-Tele-
graph.
Goodfellow-If my clothes were not
too big for you, I'd give you an old suit.
Hungry Hank gratefully Boss, IL
you'd give me the price Of square
meal, I warrant they'd fit me all right.
Truth.
Let us be thankful when we eat
Though skies be sad and murky-
That though we still love turkey meat,
We do not live in Turkey.
Atlanta Constitution.
Codger-Funny that such a quiet, do
nestle sort of chap as you should re-
main bachelor. Didn't you ever think
of marrying? Solus-Yes; perhaps that
is the reason never married.-Boston
Transcript
trawber-"Dr. Probe has been treat
ing my rheumatism for the past six
months" Singcrly-"Are you any bet
ter?" Strawber-'I should say so.
When he came with his bill yesterday,
I was able to run like deer. liar
pers Bazaar.
Mrs. Prattle ito her visitor)-Have
you heard Of the splendid catch Miss
Swiftly has made? She is engaged to
nobleman, the baron of-of-(to her
husband) What is he baron Of, my
dear? Mr.. Prattle (who has met him.
Ideas-Brooklyn Life.
eff l give your friend a place. said
the banker, che will have to give bond.
I suppose you win go on:'' "Bond?"
exclaimed the other man. why. he
can be trusted with uncouEted mill
ions.'' Eyes; but all the money we have
is counted Indianapolis Journal.
How are all our great landed estates
in England?' asked the American
pleasantly. Yours exclaimed the
Englishman. Certainly" Il don't
see what claim you have to them.'
NO? Well, perhaps you can tell me
what would have become Of them If it
had not. been for the money Of our
girls. Chicago Evening Pest