The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1895-03-09
MR.. AND MRS. BOWSER AGAIN,

as ne lad aside his paper the other even
ing, chow foolish it is for men to strive for
Tor money beyond certain point"
Yes, quietly replied Mrs. Bowser, as
she looked up and wondered what was
coming.
Take our case, for instance While we
are not rich, we take solid comfort. We
have all the necessaries and many of the
luxuries. If we were worth $1,000 900
you could not be more loving or devoted
wife,
"Do you really think SOP" she asked a.
smile of pleasure rested on her face.
Think so? You bet do? You are
the best and dearest little woman in all
this world, and ! am a cantakerous old
crank and kicker
You are good man, Mr.. Bowser."
No, amt Pm obstinate, selfish and
cranky, and sometimes wonder why YOU
don't run away and leave me. | wish |
were bester."
You are good enough for me, said Mrs
Bowser, as she went over and patted his
bald head and kissed his left ear.
But Pm always blaming you while you
are never to blame. Don't you remember
my buying that horse"
eyes, dear"
You warned me that would regret it,
but would buy him, and lost clean 800
and came near breaking my neck Then [
got the crazy idea Of keeping n COW, and
was S25 out on that deal. Then bought
pig; then got the chicken fever; then
had the back yard plowed for a harden;
then invested in "A fire escape; then"
'Never mind, DEAR" she interrupted,
us she fondled his chin.
But can't help but mind" he per-
sisted. Think Of the idea of my invest
ing SO in that microbe destroyer when
there wasn't blamed microbe within a
hundred miles of our house. And then
paid SD for "A family medicine chest and
and nearly poisoned the whole of us with the
first dose! Mrs. Bowser, if had listened
to you-if all husbands had the sense to
listen to their wives-I'd have been a
heap better off. "
do you really think so?"
II know it, and am free to confess it,
Then, dear | want to tell yeu some-
thing"
Crack ahead. 1t will be hard common
sense, whatever it is"
Wont you please get over those idle
fancies in regard to your health? In the
last two weeks you have bought a lung
pad, IA liver pad, six bottles of stomach
bitters and lot Of lozenges and troches.
1t is only money thrown away. Nothing
ails you You are simply led away by
whim, and hope
"Whim! Led away?' repeated Mr..
l5owser. Mrs. Bowser, do you mean to
intimate that don't know what want?'
mo, no. dear; but you see you imagine
that this Or that als you
81 imagine these things, do 1" I
imagine them and then rush off like fool
and buy cure! Did buy that lung pad
to check consumption in its incipent stage
that might be spared to my family, or
simply to throw away six good dollars
Idle fancies. Led away
''Well, let's drop the whole subject"
said Mrs. Bowser as she felt the ground
shaking.
''If anything ails my liver. If my liver
was all right would | be fool enough to
buy a liver pad? Perhaps my head is
stuffed with saw DUST It's wonder that
II certain person hasn't applied to the
courts to have me sent to an idiot asylum"
But you were saying that had such
good judgment, and that if you had list
ened to me you'd
"Never said thing of the sort! That's
the way with you and all other wives. A
husband admits that he might possibly
have done better in one single instance,
and then they jump in and try to make
out that he doesn't know enough to pound
sand. Who runs my lungs, my liver and
my stomach? Who is the best Judge of
what all 'em? Nothing ails me, Ell?
| am simply led away by idle fancies, the
same as born IDIOT
You know didn't mean it that way,
dear"
MRS. Bowser had within that we
might put in a couple of weeks at the sea-
shore next summer We don't put! [
imagined that you would want about $500
to fix up your wardrobe, but we won't fix!
When mans own wife looks upon him az
driveling idiot, it is time he struck
another job"
"Mr. Bowser, when you called yourself
cantankerous old crank and kicker-when
you admitted that you had made dozen
bad mistakes when you
81 crank and kickerr' he shouted as
his ears twitched and his neck Redeemed.
81 admit that | have made dozen bad
mistakes! Mrs. Bowser, it is POO miles to
your mothers home There are four trains
per day! 1t is yet early in the evening,
and you will have time to catch the first
train in the morning. Your lawyer can
open correspondence with mine as soon as