Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1895-05-09

Don't you think the man who mar
ries for money IL a fool?" He 10,
unless he gets 1t In adyance."-Indian-
apolis Journal.
Fuddy-The villain! But you made
/. him swallow his Words" Duddy-
How could i, when they were so bit
ter?-Boston Transcript.
want any mouse traps? Come buy
one, dor mo. thanks; we have no
! mice" Zach, I'll throw 'em In with
pleasurer'- Humoristlsches
In the Gloaming.-She (pointing at
at a -star)-Ah, there is Orion. Voice
from the darkness)-Ye are mistak-
en-, mum, It's O'Reilly.-Life.
WOOL don't see how dealer can
afford to iron all the silk hats he sells
Van Pelt-Has to do 1t; they'd last too
long II he didn't.-Harlem Life.
BEG pardon, but what did you say
was the name of your Kentucky
friend" "Col. vandewater." "Col.
| Vande-what?"-Cin Tribune.
Jaggers weakly fncetious) : tn
think was a burglar, m dear? Mrs.
: Jaggers-No! A burglar wouldn't have
taken half the time to get in!-Life.
Blobbs-Whats the difference be-
tween gloves and policemen? Slobbs
Give 1t up. Blobbs-Well, gloves are
i usually on hand.-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
Miss McFlirter-I have refused seven
offers OF marriage since last season.
Miss G. Vere-Quite a sleight-of hand
performer, aren't you?-New York
Ledger.
| Wife-Mrs. Ailer has gone abroad to
be treated by a Partisan physician.
Husband-So? She always had pre-
objection for French heels.-Boston
Transcript.
"Why do you punch that hole In my
ticket?" asked a little man Of the rail-
road conductor. $50 you can pass
through" was the reply.-Boston Com
mercial Bulletin.
81 see you have safe in your din
ing-rooln," said Perkins, who was Wis
iting farley. us that for your silver"
mo; that's my wine-cellar," said Jar
ley.-Harper's Bazaar.
Mrs. Kicksey-Why do you suppose
the high hat is making so much trou-
BILE? Kicksey-Because there's wo-
man at the bottom Of it, of COURSE
Philadelphia Inquirer.
'Jinkins, / believe you have some
of the elements of success about
YOU" "Not dollar, old man. Honor
bright You'd be welcome to it If
hau."-Chicago Tribune.
''Will you have the chicken dress
ed?' asked the poulterer. NO" re-
piled young Mrs. Hunnimune; "you
may send it to me-er-in the alto
her."-Washington Star.
First Actor-What, don't you like
this play? know one man, now. who
thinks it is simply great. Second Act
or-Who is that? First Actor-The
author.-Somerville Journal.
Prospective Tenant Ito agenD-You
say this house is just stones throw
from the depot. Well, all l have to
say Is have great admiration for the
man who threw the stone.-Life. ~
YES" remarked the telephone girl
| as she gaZed out ut the waves and
wondered what their number was, Il
am connected with the best families
in our y."-1ndlanapolis Sentinel.
Bouncing lawyer-''Then you are pre-
pared to swear that the parties came
to high words?" COster witness-"Nay.
l didna say that. should say they was
particularly low words" y Sheffield
| Week.
Don't you think that good many
Of these Easter bonnet jokes are over
DRAWN" she inquired. "Yes," replied
her cherries husband; land q good
many bank Washington
Star.
Johnny Smart-"There's big differ
ence between my teacher and streak
Of lightning" Mrs. Smart-"How so,
SOM" Johnny Smart-"He strikes sew
eral times in the same place."-Phila-
.delphia Inquirer.
She-"I think there Is considerable
room for improvement in ladies' dress
es nowadays" He-"Well, in the
sleeves especially, l should say there
was room enough for almost any
/ thing."-Yonkers Statesman.
| Professor-"To what did Xenophon
owe his reputation" Student-"Prin-
cipally to the fact that his name COM
menced with X, and came in so handy
for headlines in alphabetical copy
books. "-Pearson's Weekly.
Mrs. Gray Ito friend who has been to
the prayer meeting)-"Did you have
good meeting" Mrs. White-"Rather
uninteresting. None of the men who
spoke had ever done anything bad
Boston Transcript.
Julia-"Do you consider Mr.. Nippy
mean manY Nellie-"Mean? Not only
mean, but cowardly. Why, he never
will take a seat in a street car for fear
he will have to give it up to some wo-
man."-Boston Transcript.
Hoax-"I see they have new name
for those high buildings which are be-
ing erected" Joax-"Indeed? What Is
ity Hoax-"They are called serial
buildings, because they are continued
stories. "-Philadelphia Ledger.
"My mother-in-law never understands
joke" says a correspondent. $50 I
was surprised to receive letter from
her a few weeks after my little boy
had swallowed a farthing, in which the
last words were. Has Ernest gotten
over his financial difficulties yetr"-
Tid-Bits.