The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1895-04-14
THE SCHOOL OF SOCIETY.

ciety. Zach of its 4better-known newspa-
pers supports young lady known as 1.-The
society reporter whose business it is to
chronicle the movements of this class or
circle and faithfully publish the facts that
Mrs. William carmen Smith will discon-
tinue her days at home for a period and
"Mr. and Mrs. j. Hicks Van Twiller have
returned from Kokomo,' and to make
somewhat more elaborate mention of sun
dry pink teas" Afternoons "cotillions,
informal Dances and "tearing-down re-
ceptions." Do all these things and the peo-
pie who participate in them constitute so
ciety?' Not bit of it. Other people who
are mot in society can give these things
and find plenty of people like themselves
to come to them. You cannot find out what
society is or who is "in it, by assiduous
reading of the work of the society re-
porter. Lots of people send accounts or
their own or their friends little functions
to the papers. and the newspaper, with
commendable catholcity of spirit. prints
them ALL Each city differs somewhat In the
details of its social standards, and, upon
sh the who're those OF inatanapols are
know. Beauty and ability to dress well do
not open the gates, for l know number
OF stunning-looking girls and young men
who are not lin our set" Long and hon
orable lineage is not the only factor, for
could point out half dozen families here
whose pedigrees would excite the envy of
social leaders who would never think of
inviting the sons or daughters of these same
families to their houses. Wealth probably
cuts less figure here than anywhere in
America. There are dozens of wealthy peo-
pect to gain social recognition. Intelligence
and refinement do not carry one in, for
there are many of the most intellectual peo-
pie in the city whose very names are I'M
known lin society," and one can meet any
number of people of great refinement who
are out of the gay world. One or more of
fhQSa ehar9afarjcfiPG essential
success, but not all of them, for lin socie-
ty'' you will find hosts of ugly and i'll
would hate to mention even their fathers,
to say nothing of their grandfathers and
number of people who have no means to
speak of and spend very little money; you
will occasionally find man who Is none
too sure of his grammar, and you will some
times meet people not only coarse in looks
but in thought and conduct as well. | am
that society people; in ' general lack these
qualities. On the contrary, they must have
one or more of them. but the point is that,
if you are socially ambitious you will not
be barred by lack of wealth. or by lack of
lineage or by lack of any particular one of
What then, is it that brings social sue
cess? The same thing that brings sue
cess in any other walk of life-talent,
eternal industry and SAVIOR faire. l don't
like to use French, but the English trans
lation ito know what to do and how to
not express the full meaning of ''savoir
faire." The society circle" has no arbi-
trary limit. While it is not as anxious for
it usually welcomes them and makes life
pleasant for them if they enjoy that sort
Again let me state that my purpose is to
instruct. and the successful instructor in
anything must always be frank, sometimes
ready inferred that this instruction is for
the benefit of the socially ambitious those
who are altogether outside and want to
n. those
stand about unnoticed at charity balls,
those who have Footing more or less
crush receptions and invitational phil
anthropic affairs and those who are "in
facilitate the Instruction l shall divide you
into three classes, young men, maids and
young married people. take it that when
old people have social ambition it is for
the benefit of their sons or daughters and
the points they need will naturally come
in the instruction of these
The rules laid down to-day are for the
instruction of young men, by whom mean
all unmarried men from eighteen up. I
take them first because 1t is easiest to do
SO, not that they are easiest to instruct, for,
as all the world Knows. the average young
ed amount of social stupidity, but because
their task is the simplest of all. If you are
;t e2 ana come IRON ciaf CITY
inence you already lin it, and will
have no battles to fight. If you dress well.
are fairly intelligent and have good bank
account you will Immediately be in great
demand But let us suppose you come from
another city and have no letters family,
no wealth, nothing but a fairly good bust
ness position, good education and pre-
sentable appearance. Be extremely careful
in the selection of boarding house Don't
make the mistake of going to hotel or to
cheap lodging house or taking lodgings
ing house in the city will not cost you more
than $40 per month, and probably good
fa esn II y6 are not wiz e som
people" and some who are just as nice but
not Tin society" Make a great pretense of
and eschew clearinghouse sociability In a
few weeks you can find out who among your
e,snd are WIFI me mlce fhev
while their sons and daughters are away
take a paternal interest in you. Spend all
you can spare on your dress, but don IN
ddge IN ba anynhg anv mans noa soca le
Be clean to fault, physically and morally:
Your linen should always be fresh and
Indianapolis If your morals are the same
way. You may glide along for few weeks
Single Invitation, In the meantime save
as much money as you can and make what
friends you can awags sn vo need tben
Dent fall to playing billiards or drinking
for want of something better to do Eschew
ones and then only in the best of COM
pany if you have to pay the way or some
way it is not bad idea to put such young
meE under a reasonable obligation to you,
only don't do it too often. Your first fnvi-
tation may come from the nice people who
board or have boarded with you, from one
of the young men you have taken to the
theater or from some friend Who invites you
to join a good literary club. These are
preferable in the order | have named them.
If it is a dinner all the better, but you
are not likely to have such luck. Whatever
it is. accept after some nesltatlon ana
are making some sacrifice of your business
to come / take it for granted that you
have sense enough to dress properly. If
you don't know what is right, go TO the
best tailor ir town, tell him you nave been
so engrossed in business for couple OF
years that you have lost the run of styles
and he will give YOU points. Don't make the
mistake of going to a poor tailor Wnen
you arrive at the pa. " or dlnner, YOU VIII
find that YOU have already met most OF the
men and didn't know they were anybody in
narticular Evince no surprise, but shake
hands Just as though meeting them here
added no new interest in the acquaintance.
Meet as many women as you can. Don't
he stiff Shake hands with each one and
look into her eyes as though you would
read her through and were especially in
terested in her At this party devote al
most all your attention TO married women
and the mothers of the dancing girls.
Dance with them and sit out dances with
them but dance only three or four times
with girls The married women will ask
YOU all about yourself, If they have no
other way of finding out about YOU Vouch-
safe very little. Tell them this is the first
party you have attended In Indianapolis
and you are charmed 10 know the city