Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1895-07-26
GOOD MANNERS.
Courtesy Is Virtue and Comes From Z
Good Heart.


Courtesy Is Virtue and Comes From
Good Heart.
AS to what constitutes good man
ners" there is great divergence of
opinion. Most people, we fancy, would
give the definition of unselfishness or
thought for others, but that does not
60 quite far enough. Surely manner"
includes the way of doing thing, as
well as the action itself. Else how is
it that some absolutely selfish people
have charm of manner which makes
them universally popular? And what
is that indefaable ease and gra-
ciousness sometimes met with which
makes us II eat its possessor as
if he were a p'ince? That charm is
felt by all ranks and all classes
of society. There are some women
who are always waited upon, who are
served first, who never hear a rude
word, because they are born with
particular manner. This is at variance
with the general view of the subject,
which is that courtesy is virtue,
and not quality, that it springs from
goodness of heart, and not from ma
ture, that it can and must be acquired
by interior cultivation, not ex-
terror. But, nevertheless, it is true. A
man who only wishes to be universally
courteous, because he sees it pays, can,
with patience, teach himself the diff
cult lesson. We are not affirming that
this acquired courtesy will ever be
quite SO perfect and genuine thing as
the native Unborn courtesy which some
people possess, only that it will be in
no sense behind the courtesy which is
arrived at by the desire to avoid giving
pain to others. We are apt to pride
ourselves on our individual good man
ners, and man would far rather be
told that he was bad-tempered than
rude, and yet after all, even if we have
attained TO the standard demanded by
our social life, are we SO certain that
our manners are equally admired by
those who do not live exactly in the
same social circle as ourselves? There
is nothing more curious than the diff
ferent points of etiquette demanded by
different classes.
Some time ago the writer happened
| to hear conversation in railway
carriage, which was SO evidently in
tended to be heard that there could be
no conjunction in listening to it.. Itran
something in this fashion: II travelled
the other day with two people; ladies,
| they call themselves. | shouldn't won
der. Foreigners, they were. May be,
French, and they have dialeck of
their own, we know, and they took no
more notice of me than if hadn't been
there. If they was the real ladies they
thought themselves they'd have talked
affable. | was well purvided with
books and such like, but on journey
one expects to be sociable. But" with
great triumph, 81 let 'em known what
/ thought of 'em before | left" Her
companion answered gravely: SAY,
travelled wi some O. that sort the other
day, too, and they had books, but we
could see they weren't reading, but
looking over the edge all the time, and
just holding them up to purvent con.
versation. Bad manners, calls it."
Surely, in view of this difference OF
opinion no one can hope to attain to a
universally acknowledged excellence,
The sins of omission are apparently to
count heavily against the unconscious
offender; we are not even allowed the
time-honored criterion to do to others
as we would be done by" but are to
yield up patiently all possibility Of
self-defense, and submit to the tyranny
of any one who chooses to faster
upon us. With fellow travellers who
dread breath of fresh air, and those
who think travelling in a rafting trair
a suitable occasion for ceaseless flow
of aimless and useless small talk, the
prospect of railway journey looms
before us as new species of modern
torture Il ondon Queen