Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1895-07-20

"a LITTLE NONSENSE"

Bobby ton ferry-boaD-"I know
why the river is SC angry to-day.
Jack-"Why" Bobby-"Because it /,
crossed sc often. "-liarper's Round
Table.
-"\Nhat do we mean by health
asked the teacher. Health" said a
timid little voice, lis when you are
real fat and have lots of skim
Youths Companion.
"A Mine. The poor young man was
trying to win a rich young woman.
"Be nine" he implored, What kind
of a mine@' she responded. "Eold
mine?'-Dctroit Free Press.
Experience in the worlds ways shows
That AS a general rule
The politician who has the push
Is ore who has the pull.
boston Courier.
NOW said one of the campaign
managers to the candidate, ''to start
with, you are a bimctallist." Excuse
me; I'm a trimetallist." "What dc
you mean?" II propose to run this
campaign on gold, silver and brass."--
Washington Star.
Little Ned Don't take away the
light" Mammal want you to learn
to sleep without a light" Little Ned
Must | sleep in the dark?" Mamma
Yes Little Ned-"Well, then,
wait a minute guess I'll get up and
say my prayers a little more carefully"
Pittsburgh Bulletin.
-Bass-"And of which variety is
your wife, the clinging-vine or the
self%-assertive" CASA little OF
both. When she wants a new dress or
a new bonnet, she generally begins in
the clinging-vine roll; if that doesn't
bring the money, then she changes to
the self-assertive; and-well-she in.
variably gets the dress or the bonnet
Boston Transcript.
-Doherty, an Irish chief Justice.
used to tell how, when posting on his
circuit, one of his chaise-horses began
to plunge fu%riously, then ran away.
stop, stop!' he called out. 81 really
think that horse has never been in
harness before!" ''Begorra, your lord
ships right! It's his first time; and
the masther says that if he brings YOU
lordship safe to the end of the stage
he'll buy him."
.,-Jenkins-"Well, sir, I gave it to
that man straight, l can tell you. sir.
lie is twice as big as l am, too, but
told him exactly what l thought of his
rascally conduct right to his face, and
called him all the names in the die.
tionary." Spudds--"And didn't he hit
you, JenkinsY Jenkins-"No. he
didn't. And when he tried to answer
Jack just hung up the telephone and
walked away. "'-Boston Globe.
-one frequently hears people saw.
when addressed in some language with
which they are supposed to be familiar:
/ can understand it, but l cannot
speak IT." The expression would not
DC heard as often if all who used Il
were treated as ~brusquely as was a
highlander recently by an old friend
Oh n family. The old mar spoke to
MIN in Gaelic, and received the cus.
.omary reply: II can understand n
QUIZ cannot speak it." my dog can
40 that" said the M~acgregor s%cornful.
ly.--Household Words.
Some %Frenchmen were boasting Of
thelr affairs of honor" when one ~
.nen' q M~arseillais, declared that he
nad inflicted upon an antagonist the
most dreadful fate that a duellist had
ever met. How was it?" asked every.
ooy II was at a hotel, and | chanced
20 insult q total stanger. 1t turned
.nn. sna, ne was a fencing-master.
one or the other of u.s. he declared. IN
.eariul wrath will not go out Of this
room aliveg 80 let 1t ber I sbontas
n response; and then I rushed ont ~
ene room, locked the door behind ma
and left him there 10 djeln '1'