The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1895-01-15
WELLS AS a PLATYPUS.

& David A. Wells, the eminent statis-
ticIan and recognized authority on tariff
matters, has discovered a new constitu-
tional objection to the income tax laws.
He declares the law is unconstitutional,
in that the Sd, 900 exemption is in viola
ton of the constitutional provision that
t'all duties, imports and excises shall be
uniform throughout the United States"
David A. Wells was at one time re-
publican, but he is now a pretty thor
ough democrat, or at least free trader.
He has probably discovered more mares
nests than any man in the United
States, including New Jersey. Mr..
Wells, while turning the lamp of his in
tellect onto the intricacies of the tariff
laws of the country a good many years
ago, stubbed his toe on full grown nest,
of the kind we have mentioned that had
very large sized free trade egg in it,
which the eminent statistician aforesaid
at once proceeded to hover, and assisted
largely in successfully incubat1ng. Just
what he succeeded in Matching the
present administration has demon
strated. After the egg, such as it was,
was Matched, Mr.. Wells maternal feel
ings being also fully developed, he
turned, Gas soon as the feathers again
sprouted on his gallinaceous breast,) his
whole attention to proving that the fin
ished product of his labors was swan,
notwithstanding the fact that its noisy
gabbling proclaimed its anserine parent
age, and species.
Now, Mr.. Wells has stubbed his toe
over another nest, which this time con-
tains an income-tax egg, which the
eminent statistician aforesaid, is firmly
OF the opinion, was born out of wedlock.
He thinks the tax unconstitutional be-
cause it does not tax all incomes, and
therefore violates the provision of the
constitution, that sail excises shall be
uniform throughout the United States. :"
He fails to see that this tax is uniform,
yet it is undoubtedly go. If Mr.. Wells
position is correct, then the tariff on
sugar could not recognize the grade
thereof; the tariff on woolen goods would
be so much per yard, without regard to
value, and to go further, since the tariff
tax is practically a per capita tax and tar
iH on, consumption, the tariff laws would
be unconstitutional unless every con-
sumner paid the same tax, and hence
would have to be abandoned, unless a
Law could be passed compelling the poor
man to purchase as many diamonds and
drink as much champagne as the rich
one, for otherwise the tax being unequal
would be also unconstitutional. Mr.
Wells has not always been of his present
opinion. In 1870 he stood with Senator
Sherman who said on the floor of the
senate that "the income tax was the
most just and equitable tax ever placed
upon the statute books of this, or any
other country" The income tax hai
come to stay, for while at least; anC
that, whether we like it or not. Tha
those who have the tax to pay object t.
1t now, and will continue to object to i
as long as it is on the statute books, is
foregone conclusion. That those VIII,
do not have it to pay will pronounce it
just tax, is equally certain. The incom
tax was never popular in this country
1t was levied as f'war measure" jus
as the Morrill, tariff was, but as soon al
the war was over the income tax was re
moved before the debt created in tn
prosecution of the war was paid, which
was neither just nor honest, although a
the time it seemed necessary, if Uncl
Sans ears were not to be foreve
deafened by the ceaseless clamor of thos
whose incomes were largely the result c
the war, in which the debt was incurred
Mr.. Wells has fecund breast bone, tn
warming effects of which are.vlvifying t
the contiguous ovuna regardless of genus
His oviparous tendencies, taken in con
nection with his numerous bills woul
entitle him to rank as the Great Amer
ican Ornithorhynchus.