Birmingham age-herald., 1895-04-28
SECONDHAND STORIES.
Story No. l.


 Told by a Barber (and not much of a barber, either), as He Clipped and Snipped.-Guess you wasn't old enough to be in the war, though your hair is scarce, and what's left is pretty well spattered with gray. Oh, yes; l was in 'Steenth Injianny through the hull shootin' match round Richmond, Pe- ninsula and Wilderness. I've run both ways-fur and from the inimy-and been scart to death more times than 1 can count, but the worst night ever put in was after the battle of Gaines Mill.
 You see, we made little charge, but didn't last as long as a snowball in she ol I got bored by mimic, and fell on knoll; the ground was powerful rough, gullieS and ravfnes runnin' every which ways. Our boys fell back, and pretty soon here come line of rebs yellin' like all possessed. l wanted water-youu never know what it is to want water un- til you get shot-and my canteen was empty. So when the Johnnies passed raised on my elbow and hollered fur a drink. Some of 'em cussed me, but one young fellow, with face as smooth as baby's, unslung his canteen and pitched it at me jest like you'd throw a bone to dog. But didn't mind that bit, and thinks l, "old man, l hope you won't need this yourself over yonder." In fifteen or twenty minutes the rebs were back on the dead run, and I jest missed bein' trampled to death. One of 'em-a lieutenant, l s'pose-fell on the other side of a gully, not 20 feet from me He was shot through the back, and must have been partly paralyzed, for he no sooner see me than he yelled: "Oh, you blankety-blanked blue belly! I'll git you anyhow!' But when he tried to draw his pistol he give big groan, and l could hear him grit his teeth. Then he lit in to cuSSin' me, and I never heard such language before nor since.
 Bimeby he run out of breath, and the sun went down and dark set in. After awhile he says, low and gentle, "Yank, oh yank!' "Hello," says l. "D-n you" says he, I'm gettin' better and I'm goin to crawl over there and scatter your brains" I could hear him f1oppin' round, and 1t seemed he got little closer, but the pain was too much for him. l couldn't move hand nor foot, and besides I had throwed away my gun; and I real ized if he ever got cross the gully 1t would be all up with me.
 You can bet I kept my ears cooked, and what's more, my face was in a cold sweat. He was still as a mouse for long time, and then he tried 1t again. From the noise he made I judged he was rollin', He would roll and groan and groan and roll and cuss, and I felt he was gettin' closer all the time. About 12 o'clock, I guess, blimety-blim! he tumbled into the gully and fetched such yell as he might II SOIHeUouy Hdu SUCK a feQ-nOt iron into him. Then he sobbed and whimpered from the very pain, but pulled himself together in a few minutes and yelled at me: "I'll git you yetl
 He would dig his fingers in the ground and try to pull himself up inch by inch, and as this side of the gully wasn't half so steep as t'other, saw he had a show to make it. He'd puff and pant, and slip back now and then, but he kept gainin'. l thought heard his hand gropin round within two foot of me, tryin to ketch hold of something, and then I tainted, s'pose. Anyhow. when I opened my eyes agin it was broad daylight, and there was the reb, with half his body over the bank, dead as door nail. His big, gassy eyes were starin' right at me and his mouth had horrible grin, but I had rather seen him that way just then than the purtiest picture I ever looked at In an hour the ambulance corps picked me up. That's why I am bald now. All the roots of my hair were loosened that night, . and it's been comin' out ever sence
 JOHN SPARROW