Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1895-05-04
WHEN CHIMNEY ENLISTED
BY WILLIAM Il. WASsELL.
Copyright, 1895, by William II. Wassell.)

Copyright, 1895, by William II. Wassel)
Private McPhee was sitting on his iron
| bunk, hard at work polishing his kit. He was
all alone in the big, bare squad room, where
| bunk after bunk stretched from one dreary
wall to another-everything in mathemati-
cal eXactness; first a bunk, then four feet
of space; then another bunk, separated
from the third by exactly the same space;
the wooden lockers accurately aligned at
the ends Of the hunks; each mans extra
shoes under his bunk in lines that never
gave the exacting captain an excuse for a
growl.
Private McPhee's bunk was like all the
others, but his blankets and sheets and pill
lows had a freshness about them that
pointed to their owner as a recruit. For
| the first time away from his beloved New
York, with the Bowery swagger still lurk-
| Ing under his ill-fittng blouse, McPhee, who
all his known life had been simply "Chim-
mey," now found Private" tackled in
| front of his name and had to think twice
| to know who was meant when the white
| haired first sergeant called him. And it
was "McPhee, you damned rookey this"
and "McPhee, you damned rookey, that"
| first from one sergeant, then from another,
until the poor Bowery waif was glad to be
| left with only the empty hunks and himself
| in the big squad room.
COdllnR
| of heel bore dadyac to his waist belt, in the
vain hope of making it shine like the rest
| OF the company belts, when a weary figure
! In blue uniform appeared in the doorway.
This figure came toward him, with just the
| ghost of an attempted swagger in it's walk
| but not until seated by his side on the iron
bunk did 1t softly murmur, as though afraid
that even the walls had ears, the old IA
miliar greeting, Hello, Chimney
Private McPhee rubbed his waist belt
with dirty fist before he answered. When
| the rubbing was finished he tossed the belt
to one side, looked around the room to see
that no one but himself and his brother re-
cruit were present, and then said:
Say, Fifty, don't yer wish yer was back
on de Bow'ry, dancin' de heel an toe wild
Maggie?"
Fifty, officially known as Private Burke
| hung his head in deep meditation. Evil
IDENTIFY something more than usual was on
his mind.
''Wot have de blokes been dom to yer
now?" asked McPhee.
'Wot haven't dey been dom, yer mean
Chimney. Yer see it's dis way. We're
Bow'ry kids an as sharp dey make EN-
| but tells yer, Chimney, we'se not int wild
| desc fellows. On de Bowry we could give
'em points on der gran'fader's hayseed, but
| we'se not int out west
Burke paused for a minute. Then he con-
| tinued.
Chimney" he said, "look at me, me-
Fifty Burke. Take good look at me mug
an tell me would yer take me fer a jay?"
|
Fitzy?'
WELL Chimney, twas dis way Yer see
when we'se had supper las night, noticed
! right away dat we didn't have no butter
| How was tknow dat de government didn't
| furnish no butter? We'se had plenty of
| evrythin' else. an I fought dere was some
| mistake. So dis mornin' when we didn't
| have none for breakfas', elder, I spoke to
| bis nobs wot was sittin' alongside O. me.
| He said dat was all right, dat most of de
| men didn't like butter. an SO de cap'n of
| de comp'ny gave dem dollar ev'ry
| mondth instead of de butter. Den he asks
| me If I'd got me butter money, an, of
| course, 1 tells him I hadn't. Den he tells
me to go over to de cap'n's house, an he
| would give it to me-
Burke paused and leaned his head in his
| hands.
| Did yer git it from his nobs, de- cap'n?"
asked his companion.
| Cit it?" repeated Burke in disgust Il
got hell, an deserved 1t for bein' such a
jay"
| His head went in his hands again, and
| McPhee took up the waist belt and the
Dat isn't ALL" said the unfortunate
Burke. after a long pause. Take good
! long look at me dis time, Chimney, an
| tell me If yer tink looks as big a moss
| back as IS. Well, l is, only you'se
me frien' an wouldn't say so. Twas dis
way. Yer see, de first sergeant calls me
some cartridges. an saber, an a KNAPP
sack, an canteen. an a lot O. straps, an
| den goes up to me bunk an begins t. see
wot all l has. Along comes some fellow
an Hello, says ne, got yer outfit, did yer?
Yes says l, cause he seems a decent sort
Yer want t see dat de first sergeant gives
yer all dat is comm t YER says he. How
ought t have" Let me look at dem,' saws
| he, an den he counts, One carbine, twenty
ca tridges wais' belt, canteen, an all de
| res. Why says he, de first sergeant
didn't give yer no saber ammunition. Yer'd
| better go right down an git it before he
| fergits:' So jumps up an rushes down t.
| de orderly room. Where's me saber am
Yer bloomin' jay, F1tzy,' interrupted
McPhee, mot t know dat der isn't no kind
o. ammunition for de saber. But wot did
"Say?' repeated Burke. "Why, he JUS
took me by de collar an gave me a kick
| Dere's little saber ammunition says he,
| come back when yer needs some more"
Yer want t take a BRACE" counseled his
side partner. Now, over here, it's dis
way. or course I'm green in de soldier
ways, but 1 don't need no points on de
outside. Say, yer ought t see me git dem
las night; Dyer know wot de sock game
| NO." murmured Burke, hanging his head
| well, It's dis way" explained the wise
| McPhee. Der is tree games. Yer see de
| fellows wot has money plays de real poker
game; OATS one. Den de fellows wot has
no money but wot has credit at de canteen
| store, dey gifts brass checks an plays for
dem; OATS two. Now. of course, de other
blokes has t have some fun, too even if
| dey hasn't got no money nor no credit at
| de store Well, yer know de COVER ment
| gives ev'ry fellow so many clothes ev'ry
| year, so many pants, SO many blouses, an
shirts, an shoes, an all de- res wot a fell
| low can wear. See? Well de- poor fellows
| dey plays a sock game; dat is, de clothes
| go for JUS wot dey cost. An dats de
| game me Chimney McPhee plays in. Dey
| was playin' a one sock ante las night
when 1 sat in de game, an drags over all
| de clothes de capn gave me, even me
| four different kinds of hats an me tree
| pairs Of shoes. Well, 1 knows nothin about
soldierin but, huly gee. me gamblin' teeth
| was cut on de Bowry shootin' craps, an
knows enough t. stay out of de- pots so
| long as 1 hain't got nothin' t draw to. So
| plays along, losin' sock on de ante once
| or twict, an de picks up me cards an finds
| tree typewriters right in de doorway. See?
| Well, 1 comes in an raises dem six pair of
| white gloves, an dey all stays. 1 draws
| one card, JUS t. fool dem, an sure as Mag
| gle can dance, I catches de other type
| writer. See? Well, one fellow bets a
dozen linen collars, an de next fellow calls
| him wild two summer undershirts, which is
| de same value. Den raises dem a cam
paign hat an a pair of leggins See? An dey
| all calls me- cause .dey all had big hands,