San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1895-07-22
MICROBES OF A BACHELOR.
Down on Doctors, Preachers. Base
ball. WidoWa. BICYCLES, Etc.


ball, widows, Bicycles, Etc.
The world existed thousands Of
ye ars and people lived to green
old age in all the past generations,
without so much as dreaming that
they we're swallowing the deadly
microbe and bacillus with each
swallow of water and each mouth
full of food. Truly
"Where ignorance is bliss, tbs folly
to be wise."
Every disease, according to the
latest theory, has its germs in a
microbe, bacillus, or some other in
finitesimal insect only discoverable
by means OF microscope. Even
consum ption is prapogated through
one Of these tiny things that insin-
yates itself surreptitiously into
persons lungs.
The talk and the din INDUCED in
by the medical journals and doc
tors concerning microbes, bacillus,
etc., insinuating themselves into
our bodies through ordinary food
and drink has made stout hearted
people nervous, distrustful and
panicky,a and has 80 greatly alarmed
the timid and hysterical that they
are afraid to eat food and to drink
water.
The microbe and the bacillus
theory embitters life and renders
one thoroughly miserable, even
though he be enjoying robust
health and an excellent digestion
as there is no knowing at what
time he may swallow q microbe, or
a bacillus, those sure breeders of
deadly diseases in the bodies OF
men and women. 1t ia no longer
the torpidity of the liver, or the
consti patton Of the bowels, that
makes men sick. The microbe, or
the bacillus, has done all the devil
ment-
OF course, no layman shouldpre-
sumo TO question what the docto
say respecting the causes of
diseases; but, for all that, l am
sorry, to the core of my heart, that
the deadly microbe and bacillus
were ever introduced on the stage.
How can person be happy who is
liable to swallow microbe, bacil.
lus, or bacteria, ETC., with every
mouthfull of food and drink of
water. The shirt of Nessus and
the sword Of Damocles, suspended
only by a hair above one, were
eight Affections" compared to the
hourly and daily exposure to the
danger Of swallowing, unconscious
ly, dozens Of deadly microbes and
bacilli. .r.. ... g."
1t has been my misfortune to be
sick good deal, and my expert
ence is that each doctor called in
by me has pet remedy Of his own
discovery on which he relies most
implicitly for workiag,a cure. The
result is every fresh doctor that
calls to see me discards all the pre-
seriptions Of his predecessors, as so
much rubbish, and causes me to
buy medicines and drugs enough
to stock a country drugstore. ",.
But this might be borne, after
one had become accustomed to 1t.
DIR. Fancier forbids me to eat GER
tain food, assuring me it is I'M.
wholesome and unfit food for a
sound man in robust health, but
DR.. Know-it-all, who succeeds him.
tells me to eat the very articles of
food prohibited by DIR. Fancier,
and under mo considerations, to eat
the food prescribed by DIR. Fan cier.
The truth of the matter is, that
what with the microbes, bacilli,
ETC., and the changes made in the
diet by the doctors, it real
ly Ia being perplexing to know
what course to take, when so many
roads branch of on all sides. Some
of my very best friends are doctors,
but their prescriptions are hugely
distasteful to nae, and are often
flung out of the window on the
sly, when the doctor has his back
to me. .....,... .....
AS / am a bachelor, love quiet
and peace, and hate noise and fuss.
Baseball has come to be love to
me, and it would not put me out,
at all, were all baseballists decapi-
tated. Bicycle riders, male and fe-
male, should be run into lunatic
asylum.
/ am nightly tempted to flee to
"a lodge. in SO me vast wilder
ness" far away from lawyers, doc
tors, preachers, bicyclists, baseball
lists, widows and old maids, and
spend my days in quiet, peace and