davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

TWO colored dandies were overheard
,.sulaing in the following conversation
an one of the streets of Texas town.
II say, Jim, you doesn't call around
=. much as yer ulster at the house OBJ
MIss Matilda SNOWFALL"
"De truth am. julius. 1 called on her
an many times in dis yer close dat Use
ateered she will suspect my wardrobe
am limited"
"Pshaw! niggah. you is fool. Jes'
keep on goin' ter see her Jes' as yo' is,
and den she will be sure to take you,
becase you are so unchanglng in your
suIt. Heahi heah! heah!'
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29
Blowing Out Candle Through n Brick

to blow out a candle flame through brick
bat" remarked u celebrated physician,
whose penchant is to give scientific re-
search practical bearing. at can be
done, however, and 1t Illustrates the all-per-
vasive qualities of air. Most rooms are
largely ventilated through their walls, and
the brick and mortar are merely very rudi-
mentary lungs, which take in and throw
out the atmosphere with little hindrance.
You may try the experiment yourself.
Place candle on the other side of your
ends on the opposite sides Of the II. brickbat'
with the small end OF one in line with your
mouth and the small end Of the other train
ed on the candle flame. The least breath
will make the light flicker. and hearty
plrati0n will extinguish 1t altogether. Try
1t and sce.''-Toledo Blade.
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

Mn. Peterby is a woman with head
for business.
Just see here. l have bought beau
tful rocking chair at auction worth 80,
and only paid 81 for It: 80 you see. I
have 81 clear profit. Don't tell me at
ter this that women have no business
sense"
asked Mr.. Peterby.
No"
Then what did you buy 1t for?"
ITO save money. OF course. How
could l have saved that dollar IL 1
hadn't. stupid ?"-Texas Slftings.
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

The pleasant effect and perfect safety
with which ladies may use the Cali
fornia liquid laxative. Syrup OF Figs.
under all conditions. makes 1t their
favorite remedy. To get the true and
genuine article. look for the name of the
California Fig Syrup Co, printed near
the bottom OF the package.
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

New Parson Cat Deadgulch ChapeD-
Brethren, let us pray.
Head Deacon lin "A hoarse whlsper)-
Hold on there. pard. Take that back
an say yer'll do the prayin' yerself.
Some o these ducks kin pray an some
Nv EN- can't pray, an the can'ts Ill
git jealous and shoot the lights out
Ex
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29
Iobacco-Stinking Breath.

Not pleasant to always carry around, but II
don't compare with honcrve-destroying power
that tobncco keeps AT work night and day to
make you weak and impotcnt. Dull eyes, loss
Of interest In sweet words and looks tell tho
story Brace up-quit No-To Bae ~ sure
otlicL cure. Guaranteed by Druggists every
where. Book, titled Don't Tobacco spit or
smoke Your Life Away" free, Address Ster-
ling Remedy Co., New York City or Chicaeo'
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

At social gathering, the conversa-
hon being on Baalams ass. Gus De
Smith remarked:
y believe that animals can talk. I
am sure that nowadays asses talk, Just
like Baalam's ass did"
30 hear" said old Judge Peterby.
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

Mrs, Print think 1t is too terrible
for anything, the way these preachers
go In for sensations.
Old Prim-Well, what now?
Mrs. Prim-Here's one who actually
breaches on the subject of the bicycle.
Old Prim--Are you sure?
Mrs. Prim--Well. It sounds like It, lie
calls It a sermon on the mount.-Ex.
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

Ia the remark of many nervous, ih ,nnt ,yay
lie Or SIC VIII soon eeass 10 h IN Course q
aftcr peginhsis emach Bitters. Nothing IKE
Il 10 renew strength aud appetite e. ana spi
digestion u cheeks cd the inr1hae eonstipaie
Gn a rhoumntism and kidney d,s w a,,,
Il iis u Ia every sense great househ0'u ROW
edy.
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29
Unknown.A
Nv York World.

New York WorId.
Northerner-What was the coroner's
verdict in the lynching case?
COL Nipper-Death at the hands Of
narties to the jury unknown.
Northerner-Why. the lynchers were
among the best-known men in town.
COL Nipper-I know, but the Jurors
had never been introduced to them
Elk.
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

"Are they supposed to quit work on Of,
the new postoffice every time 1t rains|
said the biblical student.
Certainly"
"Gracious! What a lot Of comfort
those people could have gotten OUT Vi
the forty days flood!'
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

m,va cot an idea that my boy VIII DO
..What makes you think soY 49,,
aWhy, when he amt hsi'"s ~ :
shooting ducks"
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

Hayseed-Isn't It mighty dangerous to
30 out In New York when there are 50
many collisions?
Citizen-oh, no; why Broadway runs
INTO half dozen other big streets con-
lipually. and nobody is ever hurt.
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

"His mother-in-law has gone to see
him again." IA,
"Why notT' ..o lac,
"He called her an old cat the last
time she was to see him"
swell, she justifies the nafne-the cn'
came back, you know"
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

Mr.. Grass-Seed lin city bookstore)-I
want ter gilt a book ter take hum. mis-
ter.
Clerk-Yes. sir; shall 1t be something
light?
Mr.. Grass-Seed-Not too heavy, mis-
ter. cause I've got some more fixings
ter carry hum. an / ain't as strong as
ulster was.-Texas Strings.
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

wipple-"whateyer IN induced you +"
name your horse Nsil z ,,,,o cam,
Wsppie-"Because my wire y
drive him"
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

1t may not be invariably true that fine
feathers make fine birds, but In the case OF
the parrot they certainly do make a bril-.
liant converse tionalist.
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

s. X. COBURN, Mgr, Clarie Scott, writcs:
II find Halls Catarrh euro valuable remedy. "
Druggists sell 1t, 700.
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

cannot speak too highly of Piso's Cure
for Consumption.-Mrs. Frank Mobbs. 21J
w. 22d street, New York. Oct 20, 1894.
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

A young lady ut n box party one night
defined a chaperon as zone who got out of
the way whenever there was chap
around
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

DR.. Perkins Soonover was called on to
attend Hostetter McGinnis. who COM
plained of pain In his chest.
That's dyspepsia you've got" said
the DOCTOR
what does that come FROM"
Dyspepsia? That comes from the
Creek"
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

After n young woman gets to be thirty
she stops calling attention to her birthdays
by giving parties.
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

To Boston and return July 3-7.
To Baltimore and return July 1914.
To Boston and return August 1923.
Geo. Ady, Passenger Agent, 041 18th street,
Denver. Colo
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

Every mother should always hsvc at hand
q bottle of Parkers Ginger Tonic. Nothing else SO
good for pain, weakness, colds and sleeplessness.
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

Many people who claim to be welded to
their art seem to have been overtnken with
divorce proceedings from the outset.
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

The man who lends hand too often fire..
quently tnds himself without leg 10 stand
on.
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

Now ls tho tins to cure your Corns
comfort to tho feet Ask your druggist for 1t 15c
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

It's the man without much mind who nj
ways .has a mind to do" something and
never does IT.
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

How much easier 1t is to tell others how
they ought to walk, than 1t Is to step right
ourselves
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

There has been no entirely successful ma
chimes invented yet for setting type or set.
ting hens.
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

The mother of the modern girl says her
daughter is like piece of cheap calico She
won't wash
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

The Bank Of England issues notes to
the value Of f4.000.00o every day.
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

The ability of the gas company to make
both ends meet depends on the meter
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

and permanent aoe in DIR. Pierce's
Favorite Prescription. Taken during
pregnancy, the " Prescription"
TAKES CHILDBIRTH EASY
by preparing the system for parturition,
thus assisting Nature and shortening
"labor." The painful ordeal of child
birth is robbed of its terrors, and the
dangers thereof greatly lessened, to both
mother and child. The period of con-
finement is also greatly shortened, the
mother strengthened and built up, and
all abundant secretion of nourislment
for the child promoted.
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29

"Hanson's Magic Corn Salve."
Warranted to euro money refunded. Ask your
druggist for It. Price 10 cents.
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29
ton and return July 81.

Reduced Rates to the East via tho Union
Pacific System.
The Meeker herald., 1895-06-29
N1OTHERS

ArecoVerlflS from
the illness at
tending child
:, birth, or who suf-
Yfer from the eff
fects of disorders,
de a ngem c IL $
and displa C e.
1nents of the wo-
manly organs,
will find relief
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-12-01

means no more than chs,f commander
OF the army and navy. Bat that does not
meet the case. The connection in which
the Emperor declare himself as the
army's war-lord must be considered 10
determine the sense in which he used
IL. 1t is used along with many other Ut
terances that have been made by him
that point irreslstibly 70 the conclusion
that ne Is a thorough devotee OF the
feudal ideas. IL is this fact which we
commented upon. and this fact Will GER
tainly make trouble in Germany. The
civilized nations arc not going to tolerate
any reactlonary movements towards feu-
dalism In this the beginning OF the
twentieth century OF Christian ciyilza-
ton.
Mr.. Victor remarks on the fact that
the Emperor is hard worker, who Sits
all the affairs of government to the bot
tom before he comes TO his conclusions.
and he seems TO think that fact one OF
Importance as bearing on the matter
under consideration.
We do not. Work as he may, but he
will never be the worker that Napoleon
Bonaparte was, and yet no other ruler
ever had in his heart and mind such
despotic and autocratic ideas as Bona
Darte had.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-12-01
OUR GREAT THANKsGIyING-D
ynnT-HAIJ. GAME.

The smoke Of battle. has now suilcient-
" cleared away. and the din OF the con-
test subsidized enough TO enable one 70
make fair review Of the great game
of football played on Thanksgiving
Day between the teams of the respective
Universities Of Virginia and North Caro-
lima.
Il was indeed a memorable game. Those
who never enjoyed football before were
aroused to the highest pitch Of excited
interest by the even match and splendid
efforts OF the really heroic teams. II seems
to be the consensus OF opinion that for
physical power and hard play, the North
Carolnians had the decided preference,
and during the first half no one would
have given d "shotten herring for Nir-
ginia's chance to win. Again and again
they rushed the Nirginans almost over
the fatal line, but by sheer force OF des-
peratlon and indomitable pluck the Viz
ginia team, though tottering on the
brink. >eld their ground until the time
elapsed.
In the second half. by a brilliant and
adroit manoeuvre. the Virginians won one
touchdown and followed it by kicking
goal. the only scores made in the whole
game.
II is 10 be lamented that the players
We're so interrupted and annoyed by the
unwarrantable intrusion OF on-lookers
upon the field. The crowd was immense,
and with very few exceptions, thoroughly
good-tempered and amused. The slight
est police control could at the outset have
kept them off the field, and there seems TO
be no excuse for the omission Of a proper
provision in this respect.
No wonder the teams were harassed by
this annoyance. and that the North Caro-
linians complain bitterly Of its injury to
their cause.
1t is gratifying to know that the game
was as fairly and squarely played as
football can be. considering the tempta-
tons to hard work in close quarters, and
a narrow margin TO tight on. When the
game is played here next year. ample
provision must be made 10 keep back
the crowd. The expense OF a few dollars
in putting up two or three more planks
on the posts would do much to help this,
but, in any case, IL can easily be done
by a few special constables or policemen.
Despite their defeat. the North Caro-
linians had many friends; more than ever
before, and won universal admiration for
their hard and faithful work. The skill
of the Nirginians won the victory
The handsome pecuniary results OF their
play upon a Richmond Iicld
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-12-01
VIRGINIA WOMEN AT THE ATLANTA
INPOSITIOr.

The Woman's Edition of the Lynch
burg Virginian comes to us with the
announcement on the handsome cover
that the proceeds OF its publication are
for the benefit Of the Virginia Board Of
Woman Managers OF the Cotton States
and International Exposition. Upon the
editorial page appear the names Of Mrs.
William Radford Beale, as editor-in-
chief; Mrs. Mary Stuart Smith. assist
ant editor; and Miss Jennie r. Nande-
grift, business manager. OF the yari-
Gus efforts on behalf OF Virginia's ex-
hihit at the Atlanta Exposition. none has
reflected more credit upon those having
II in hand than this. The women all
over the country have acquitted them
selves well in the line OF amateur jour
nalism during the past year, and "wo-
mans editions" have been quite the fash
ion. THE Virgini1n' is unique among
those that we have seen, being publish
ed in magazine form, with contents in
character. The loca- news feature is en-
tirely eliminated. and sketches upon
topics Of particular interest to Virginans
take It's place. and take 1t We'll. AS a
whole. this edition OF the 'Virginian,' is
the latest illustration OF the Virginia
woman's State pride and conspicuous
ability TO do effe tive work.
The price of this edition. which is In
folio form. is twenty-five cents. and
every one who wisheI in the most mod
crate manner TO encourag, these earnest
workers for Virgin ia should secure a
copy.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-12-01
About Our Financial Convert.

Our learned contemporaries, the Dis
patch and the Times, OF Richmond, are
worrying themselves into a useless fret
over the question OF who is entitled TO
credit for the Dispatch's present views on
the money question. The Times says
IL has converted its neighbor TO the right
view. while the Dispatch insists that its
own GOOD sense has led II 10 the proper
conclusion. and that II reached II long
ago. We trust that the dispute will lead
TO no serious consequences. This is a
time for friends of sound finance TO
stand together. not 10 waste good time
and ammunition shooting at each other.
Portsmouth Star.
The Richmond Dispatch is a good news
paper, but its editorial columns exhibit
such a truculent spirit that II is disgust
ing to men who admire franknoss and in
dependence in journalism. II always
stands ready to sneeZe when Cleveland
and O'Ferrail takes snufi. but does not
dare 10 have opinions TIL the proper cue
Of those I'm authority Is given. From an
open advocate OF free silver IL has now
become a most subsrvient organ for the
so-called sound money faction of the
Democratic party.-Bedford Democrat
The Dispatch has the 'fdgets" over the
probable passage by the Virginia Legis-
lature of a resolution In favor OF the
free coinage Of silver and condemnatory
Of the present financial policy of the ad-
ministration at Washington. II IS prob
able that four-ffths Of the members OF
the present Legislature are free-coinage
men, and we seriously doubt II there is
single member IN either house who
favors the single gold standard advo-
Gated by the Dispatch and enforced so
dlsastrously for the government OF the
people by the administration at Wash
ington.
The people Of Virginia. as component
part OF the Federal Government, are
vitality Interested In this matter, and IL
Is the duty OF their representatives TO
voice their sentiments wherever and
whenever such action may be directly
or Indirectly promotive of their interests
II cannot be denied I'm this case. but
that such action would be efficacious and
in line with the wishes Of the people, ana
the fact that the Dispatch IS opposed TO
such action and again threatens the peo-
pie OF Virginia with the power OF the
administration, Is the very strongest ar
gument which could be used in favor OF
such action.
The people desplse towards: they are
watching their representatives now as
they never watched them before. The
representative who hesitates now on this
question is-damned.
The Richmond Dispatch. II published
I'm New England. would breathe an at
mosphere of such financial salubriousness
as would be entirely in harmony with
its tastes. and predictions, and its
trumpetings in behalf of a single gold
standard would be more highly appre-
ciated there than i'm this latitude. But
why desert ones people 10 serve the
eastern Yankee 2-Franklin Times-Demo-
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-12-01

The Fac-Simile of Ballot Voted at New
port News.

NEWPORT NEWS, VA. Nov. 29.-Spe-
cial.-The building in which the polls al
precinct No. 3. Newport News, were con-
Quoted at the last election, is situated In
jefferson avenue, between Twenty-sixth
and Twenty-seyenth streets, and Is any
thing else but attractive.
For many days after the election the
door swung backwards and forwards on
it's hinges. moved by the breezes from
Hampton Roads No one was interested
enough TO turn aside and look within its
walls until i'm mere curiosity your cor
respondent entered the only room OF the
building. AT a glance there was nothing
u be seen that amounted 10 anything
but when one of the many scraps or pa
per which were strewn over the floor was
picked up and examined there was a
pleasant surprise i'm store for the new
eatherer. Another Of the many pieces
was picked UP. and when the HTo had
been put together there was one OF the
ballots as required by the Walton election
law, county clerks seal. and everything,
all complete. Here IL is:
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-12-01

In his letter which we published yes
t.rdav. captain r. l. Cooke makes the
point against State banks that man
wanting gold to export would come 10
Richmond. gather up two millions OF dol
lars OF the notes of Richmond pahKs'
present them 10 those banks, and demand
gold for them, and thus disable or break
them.
This looks very well upon its face but
nothing OF that sort would ever happen
New York is the exporting point ana
when gold is wanted for export IT Is
wanted at once. IL Richmond banks had
ont as much as two millions of dollars
of notes. a man might sit down In Rich
mond for a month and collect together
enough of them TO cause the banks trou-
bic. But, as they would be scattered all
over Virginia, II would take him at least
n month to collect enough of them 10
bother the banks, and in that time, the
hanks would find out what he was at
and would provide themselves with all
the gold they needed. Steam and cleo
tricity make the banks complete mas
tcrs of such a case. But the process
would be so slow, no exporter OF goiu
would resort TO that means of getting his
supply lie would get 1T from the New
York banks. and the matter OF supply
ing gold for export would become as
much matter of regular and fixed busl-
ness as the sale of bills OF exchange
The New York banks would establish
that as one OF their regular branches OF
business, and they would always have on
hand just the amount OF gold that the
exporters wanted. and always charge Tor
IT, 1t Is like everything else. a case
which is controlled by the universal
law of demand and supply. All that is
needed Is that the law-maKer shall Keep
his hands off. and the thing will take
care of itself.
In this connection we were very much
struck by the report of a speech made
at Norfolk 10 the Bankers Convention on
Friday. by Mr.. James r. Branch. He is
reported 10 have deprecated the en-
croachments Of the express companies in
the field Of banking Upon the contrary.
we hail the encroachments with delight.
Banks and bankers have. no monopoly in
the business of trading In money credits
and securities. People who do not call
themselves bankers have as much right
10 trade In these things as those who
call themselves by that name II the
express companies are doing the bank
Ing business. II is becausc-hey are better
adapted 10 certain functions in 1t than
bankers are. They find their adaptability
TO II through processes of evolution, ana
they then do It because they are the best
agency for IT,. The people are interested
10 have business OF this sort done by
the best agencies and not TO have u done
by bankers. when this matter is con-
sidered correctly. our meats of trans
port ton and communication are the
real money OF the country at last. since
J business Is all at bottom exchange or
commodities. and moneys chief function
is nothing but a means for exchanging
them The real agency for doing this,
though. IL the transportation companies.
the mails. and the telegraph and the
telephone and whenever we hear OF any
one OF these invading the territory here
tofore occupied by the bankers. We know
that our facilities for doing business are
being increased
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-12-01
SUNDAY, DECEMBER !. 1895.
MONDAYS MEETINGS AND EVENTS

Pickett Camp. G. v. Central Han.
Temple Royal Arch Chapter, Mdsons, Ma
sonic Temple. ,,.
Henrlco Union Lodge. Masons. Masonic
Hall.
Syracuse Lodge. X. Of p, Odd-Fellows
Hall.
Jefferson Lodge. /. o. o. F.. Odd-Fellows
He'll.
Richmond Lodge. ]. o. o. F., BelviSere
Hall. -
Richmond Castle, X. @. r.. Eagle Hall,
Anawan Tribe. /. q. X. NJ, Iaube s ran.
Indianola Tribe. J. o. II. NJ. Toney's nan.
Richmond Paper-Hangers' Union, Eagle
Hall.
West-End W c. n. L.. Young Mems
Christian Association parlors.
Stonewall club. l.. l.. Of A, Young Men
Christian Association building. .
r. T. Lee Council, Junior .. L. a. NJ
Junior o. L. A. NJ. Hall.
Patrick Henry Council. Junior .. L. A.
NJ. Pow hatan Hall. . g.,
Grove Council. Junior o. U. A. NJ, Coca
Templars' Hall.
Rescue Lodge. /. o. G. r.. Gatewood's
Hall. ....
Myrtle Temple. /. o. G. T., Pine-Street
Baptist church. r-u
McGil Catholic Union. Cathedral Han
Calpenters' Union. Concordia Hall.
Company r. First Regiment, Armory'
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-12-01
L, He an Old Bachelor!

The Richmond Times is considered
very Conservative paper. but on Iues
day 1t took hand in trying 10 make
the young men Of Virginia see a most
disagreeable future. 1t offers from
now until January LIST six-months' sub
scription TO The Daily Times free 10 all
newly-married couples who send promptly
the announcement OF their wedding 10
that paper. Young men cannot with
stand this tempting offer. and by ac-
cepting it they lay themselves liable to
any amount of misery, but We suppose
that paper considers such condition
OF affairs a good joke.-Spirit OF the Val
lev.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1895-12-01
THE GERMAN EMPEROR's KINGLY
IDEA.

The letter Of Mr.. Il. X. Victor. which
we published yesterday fails TO meet
The Times article, to which it replies.
Our article was upon the text that the
German Emperor's words and actions
show that he is thoroughly imbued with
the spirit of feudalism and the divine
right OF kings" that he looks upon the
TO glorify and magnify Him. and that
discomfort was being aroused by this
turn of his mind In Germany that will
soon threaten the continued existence Of
the Empire unless some change OF some
sort takes place..
Mr.. Victor replies with an analysis
~ thu tarm WAr-Lord. showing that It