Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1895-06-25


room dis evenin' l should like him TO
step ford" said brother Gardner, as
the regular business OF the meeting was
concluded.
Brother Pullback had just crowded
i'm between the stove and the woodboX
To- peel and eat an onion he had brought
along 10 stay his stomach with. and 1t
was with considerable hesitation that
he made his appearance.
"Brudder Pullbeck. continued the
president Of theLime-Kiln Club, "on de
way home from church last Sunday yo
declar'd to brudder Pickles Smith dat
go didn't dun believe de whale swal-
Tered Jonah"
yves. sab.
Dat same eayenin', when elder Toots
cum ober to yo'r cabin, yo' told him yo'
didn't dun believe dar was any whale
around at de time.
u was just talkin, sab
Next day, when yo' met Brudder
Samuel shin, yo' dun said yo didn't
believe dar was any SIGH pusson as
joiner.
Dat was only argument sab.
"Brudder Punback. continued the
president. as he grew more earnest, ''yo'
has sot right here an heard me read
De bylaw agi religus discussions. lo'
has seen members fined an suspended
bekase dey broke de bylaws. Yo' am
one OBJ de oldest members. an yit 20
walk ober de rules an regulashuns as
If dev were straws on de airth. Fustly,
why didn't de whale swaller joiner?
Answer me dat"
81 dunno, sab.
Secondly, why wasn't de whale
around when joiner was frowed into de
sea?'
Dunno"
Thirdly. why wasn't dar q pusson
named joiner. just de same as dar' am :
puss0n named Pulback?"
Dunno"
''Brudder Pullback, has met up Wild
Jest SIGH pig-headed pUssons as y0' am
befOi Yo' believe in ghosts, but yo'
d0an believe in de whale. 70 believe in
dreams. but 70 dOan believe in joiner.
Ii somebody dun tole yo' dat a house
bowed down in Chicago yo'd take it
fur gospel Toof, but when de Bible tells
so bout joiner yo' declar' it's a yarn.
Bekase yo' wasn't right dar' an seed
IL wild yo own eyes 20 argy dat 1t
couldn't hev happened"
"I wasn't I'm airnest, sab, humbly
protested Pullback.
Den so much de wust for 20! De man
who starts an argument fur de sake of
listeuin 10 his own CAB lbs mex doah
to a fule, Hey yO' searched de records
an failed to find Dat dar' was SIGH a
pusson as Jcner?"
NO. sab
Hey y0 looked up de whalln' biz
ness an failed to diskiver dat dar was 4
whale On hand at de proper time an
place.
no, sab"
"Den how does il happen dat yo' am
steppiu' high wild yO'r hat On yo'r ear
an declarin' dat yo doan't believe in
desc s,orieS?'
Brother Pullback was silent.
Il Aey few mo- words 10 say to yo'I
sab, continued tle president as he ap-
preached the edge Of the platform. de
quickest way 10 let yo'r feller-men
know dat yO' am fule is TO argy on a
mact2h yo' dOan dun know nutfHn
bout TO' may believe in the hull
Bible, In half of 1t or In none OF it tall.
buJ y0' must gin odder folks de same
show Oar may be sunthin' powerful
wrong bout Dan'l in de lions den. de
passage Of the Red Sea an de whale
dat swallered joiner, but II looks mighty
Quare dat IL should be left to a hump
backed, kCee-sprung ole man Ike 20
10 find it all out. 70 am de pusson, l
believe, who took Brudder Watkins out
behind q lumber-pile an shook yo'r fist
i'm his face. becase he said he believed
dat Adam was seben feet high?'
How aid he know bout it, asked
Brother Pullback.
An how did yo' know bout Il! 70
said Adam was eight feet high. an he
said seben. Oar am no figgers to be
had as 10 Adams hight, weight or how
FUR he could jump. Boat OF yO' Jess
guessed az his tallness, an Brudder
Watkins was as liable 20 be right as
yo' was. 1t wasn't ODER TO weeks ago
Dat yO was gwine to thump Brudder
Johnson at mis- own gate OF a Sunday
eaveniu' bekase he differed wild yo'
bout NoahS ark. Yo said il was
painted red an he said is was painted
blue. an y0' reached out for his neck.
Wharabouts did yo find out de color
of de ark? In what part Of de Bible
did yo' strike de red1ess Of it,"
Brother Pullbnck hung his head and
scraped at the floor with his foot, and
the president raised his voice Q note
higher as he continued:
Go an sot down. Brudder Pullback,
Tze gwine to continue yO'r case fur
another week or two, At de next meet
i'm mebbe yo1l cum around an tell us
dat yo' has concluded dar' was joiner
an a whale. en- dat yo' feel heap
better to git il of yo'r mind. If yo'
doan' do so den we'll know dat yo' hev
decided 20 resign from dis Lime-Kiln
Club an jiue Wild de Ancient Order of
Disbelievers. an Wen bid 20 good-by
an let yo' 60 Let US now blow out do
lights an perambulate to our homes.
M. Quad. in Detroit Free Press.