The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1895-03-06

of old schoolboy days and my compan-
! ion became quite cheerful. Then we
/ chatted about the war, and this led up
/ to the subject of his wound. l got him
/ to describe the first sensations of pain
1 in his head, and to repeat in substance
what the different doctors had said con-
corning it.
II happened TO have strong prepar-
| alton of hasheesh at hand, and along
| about nine o'clock / gave him a dose.
! Then, while he was under its influence,
/ carefully examined his head. 1 had
this advantage over previous doctors,
that his head was now but skin and
| bone. In little while / felt slight
| twitching, sort of abnormal pulsation,
| about two inches above the left ear.
| What could it mean? 1t might be mere
! " an affection of the nerves, or it might
be caused by the undiscovered bullet.
! Il then set my mind TO work and
thought the whole case over steadily.
In the FIRST place, was that impulse to
take human life, OF which my poor
friend had spoken, really uncontrolla-
bic? Suppose, for example, he were to
go one day to that young lady's home
for the express purpose of shooting her,
would he accomplish the act? To say
that the insane mind never changes
its design, or turns from the compile
ton of it's purpose, is simply to say
! that the insane mind is stronger than
the sane.
ION the other hand. my poor friend
y 20 no
| BILE, and therefore, as far as any reac-
ton upon himself was concerned, it
was practically so; for he was satisfied
In his own mind that the sacrificing Of
his own life was the only way to save
the life of another.
Again, possibly his story was mere
pretense to excuse the commission of
suicide. The suicidal mania is one Of
the subtlest of manias, and its victims
have been known to proceed to any en-
tent in their attempts to justify their
self murder to those they leave behindi
Opposed to this idea, however, was the
fact that the victim of suicidal mania
rarely speaks directly of suicide, his at
tempted Notifications being usually
found in posthumous documents.
"These and many other thoughts of
a similar character passed through my
mind. and finally led me to three con-
illusions, viz: His impulse is real and
will have fatal results. He is not Ia Dor
ing under suicidal mania. Confinement
in an asylum would have no curative
effect.
Then 1 took down my books bearing
on the anatomy of the head and studied
them carefully till long past midnight.
Next morning after breakfast was
over Leighton looked across at me in
ouiringly. Weir he said, with ap-
parent calmness, what do you say@
"'Before | answer you Is to whether
you would be justified before God, I'M
der the impulse you have told me of, in
taking your own life TO save that Of
another. Won must answer me several
questions
Certainly he responded
"sWhen you consulted those doctors
did YOU tell them all that you have told
me?'
~ did not dare. told them had
horrible thoughts and cravings, but
did not enter INTO details. though l told
one that feared that l was becoming
dangerous. and the fool smiled
"'Did they ever speak of searching
for the bullet?'
"'Yes. they said it might be the
cause of my sufferings, surprising it
had lodged near the brain, but no one
would take the responsibility OF search
ing for il. in the dark, SO to speak.
They were right, the operation
might kill You, and the bullet not be
found after all
Leighton looked up. The dull de-
jected expression left his face and he
gazed at me with eagerness-
And even if it were found con-
tinued, its extraction might cause you
death just the same.
He laid his hand on my arm, and
tried TO speak but could not.
NEVERTHELESS II would give vou