The Dickinson press., 1895-06-15

your lnIernal QueStlOnS. L Sly, COLI
cluded Jack, standing up and looking
like n Of the witches in Macbeth"
Il won't submit to it."
"All right, old man, all right" l
said soothingly. Nobody wants you
to-"
"The fact u.s." said Jack, sitting
down again and assuming q sepulchral
tone, "if I don't bring it off, TI-Ill-"
"What?"
"Ill die of felo-de-se."
i This vas being legal with a ven
geance. Here was my dear chum, six
months since the brightest, happiest,
merriest fellow in London, deeply in
love with a young person called Cissy
Il don't to this day know her other
name. Jack never mentioned it.-and
in the depths Of despair because he
couldn't "bring it off," If I may use
his WI terse phraseology. We held
conversations of this sort about six
times q day on nm average, but never
before had he threatened to-
ut shall be either by pistol or rope"
growled Jack hoarsely, and for the
moment l believed he was thoroughly
in earnest.
I thought I would try the cynical,
man of the world method and scott
him out Of his %foolishness, 80 I said:
"tancy being knocked over in this
way by a pulling girl, a weak, silly
creature, who isn't even a new wom-
AM!
Jack was all on fire in a moment.
"She's not a weak, pulling, silly
creature, and she Is a new woman"
he shouted, forgetting for the nonce
that it is not altogether a desirable
thing to be in love with that feminine
novelty. $50 now"
Internationally I may ask, Why is
1t that people always end up deiances
of this kind with those mystic words,
$50 now" Why is itD
Jack" I said, write to her."
%"Splendid idea" said Jack, who had
been thinking Of different ways Of
hailed that Of doing it by post as an
goes, and thanks awfully, old chap,
for giving me the tip"
Selling quite a quire of note paper
Jack scrubbed and tore up about q
dozen proposals in writing. Then he
that he couldn't do it that way, and
he wouldn't, and he'd hang himself,
and perhaps then she'd be sorry, and
-and-and-u'hy was he born?
my dear 10y" l said, laying my
hand on his shoulder in the most
fatherly way imaginable, 'let's talk
over the matter quietly. Now. suppose
I propose for youw
mo" said Jack. "She'd think 1
was afraid to ask her myself and re-
fuse me on the spot. No. I won't
write and l won't do it by proxy.
Isn't there some other way? Why
don't you suggest something, you
great, long idiot, IL stead Of sitting
there and grinning all night?"
Now, I wasn't grinning, and I had
been suggesting things all the time,
so, naturally. l felt much hurt. I
therefore curlel up and was silent.
For some time Jack smoked savage
~ without speaking O word. After
about twenty minutes of this he laid
down his pipe and began in a very
apologize tone:
81 say"
"Well?"
"Can't you think of any other way
Of p%roposing?"
swear a flower which mean 4
love you.' A pansy or crocus or some
thing. Then, If she wants you, she'll
wear one meaning Your sentiments
are reciprGoated.'"
"Don't think much Of that way"
said Jack. "Know any other?"
Now. l have never been in love in
my life. and never intend to be, and
so ! found 1t rather hard to give Jack
advice. However, l racked my brains
and at length evolved this startling
method:
Propose to her through her fatherv'
"Oh, you hopeless mass of imbecil-
ity" yelled Jack, bounding up aud
grabbing his hat. "How am l to do
that when she hasn't got q fathery"
And he flung himself out of the
room In a towering passion and did
not come near me again for quite q
period. Well, how was I to know that
the wretched girl hadn't a father?
Was I expected to keep a register of
all the births. deaths, marriages and
divorces which occurred in those fam
lilies which contained girls Jack was
in love with? No. thank you. l had
not quite come down to earning my
living by being a love registrar.
Well, you no doubt want to hear
how Jack did propose. In telling
You, I must give you plainly to un-
derstand that I am only repeating
what Jack told me. 1 was not an
eyewitness Of the lleart-rending scene,
1t was like this:
I was sitting one afternoon trying
to find instances Of men marrying
their motlers-!n-law Il never came
across one who did yeti, under an en-
cyclopedic heading called "Matrtmoni-
al Madness, Types Of" when Jack
suddenly burst into tie room with his
face all aglow with delight.
give done it!' he shouted.
l shut up my encyclopedia with a
bang. No need to go on looking for
types of matrimonial madness, when
1 had one in front of me, I thought.
How" l asked coldly. "How did
you do it?'
My manner did not damp him in
the least.
II did it-this very afternoon. and
Ill tell You all about It,"
He sat down close to me, breathing
very hard, and commenced:
You must Know that Clssy told. me
last night that she was going down
to Devonshire to-day to stay with her
aunt. ion can bet l felt cut up. Well,
dAlcI bOluc 1lccltalllOIs L NShcU ueE
whether she would allow me to sec
her off at Faddinston9 She dcnurted
a little and then said Yes You can't
think what a pretty way she has OF
saying Yes Well--lon't he impa.
tient, I'm coming to it-you may feel
pretty sure that l was at Padding.
ton an hour before she drove up. And
when she did arrive you can imagine
how I looked after her, and got her
ticket. and saw that her boxes we:e
labeled, and bought her all the i.
Illustrated papers and Il luncheon has.
ket, and told the guard to keep IN
eye on her, and all that sort of thing.
"She was SO awfully nice that l al.
most went crazy when l thought OF
her being away fer n month, all
among a lot Of other beggars. Well,
she took her seat, and ! tipped the
guard to lock the door. and not let
any n else in. l wanted to have
that last five minutes all to myself,
you see?
$50 she made herself comfortable
and told me l looked awfully red, and
Judging by nv feelings I should think