The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-05-11
A DRUMMER STORY.

DRUMMER STORY.
The Reason Why He Joined, by One of the
Boys.
Here's story by drummer in Tope-
ka today:
81 am great fellow on these secret
societies and l belong to nearly all of
them from the Grand Knights of the
Diamond Garter down to the Sons of
Intemperan ce' was sitting on a bath
tub talking to my old friend
Dick Morehouse the other day
and we were getting very much excited
over the new and ever conglomerated
question of political officials in Kansas,
interrupted US with request for two
dollars
"He said that his remittance had not
yet arrived and he guessed it was be-
cause the house did not recognize his
expense account because of the absence
of any bar account or item in it.
told him my So to lend was in, but that
never lent it to any but drummers. He
said he was drummer l gave him the
grand hailing sign of the Black Ribbon
society and he tumbled."
Just then Jack Miller and Dick House
passed through on their way down stairs
{,
and Dick gave him the grip
of the K. F. A, which being answered
satisfactorily, Jack wrote a request to
Trimble to get sample out of town and
grant a general permit to the brother.
Then Dick asked him if he was Pre-
varicator.
"He looked wise and showed a hatchet
suspended to his watch chain Then Dick
Morehouse tipped him the hair pulling
|
smiled and said "H o. This is O
technical term. Blazer dropped in
about this time and asked him if he
would attend social session. He re-
| piled Hironemous. Then Dick More :
| house examined him as follows, to make
sure he was drummer:
From whence earnest thou, pard?"
sFrom the lodge of the holy St Joe,
Mo"
"What seek ye here to do?"
"To take few orders and to collect
some bills"
''Then you are drummer?"
II am SO taken and accepted by the
boys"
"How may 1 know you to be a drum
mer?"
"By my cheek and my ffty-pound
sample case. Try me-"
How will you be tried?"
"By the Squire"
"Why by the Squire?"
because the Squire is a magistrate
and and emblem of stupidity"
where were you first prepared for a
drummer?"
SIN printing Office adjoining regu-
lar post of drummers."
"You then joined the post?"
81 did"
"How gained you admission"
"By the benefit of my cheek"
Had you the requisite amount?"
81 had not, but my friend Guy Huyett
did and lent me some"
"How were you received?"
"By the busting of my natural trousers
! with q gentleman's boot"
"What happened next"
II was set down on q cake of ice and
asked if put my trust in the mercan-
tile reports"
"Your answer?"
"Not if know myself"
GLOW was you next handled?"
81 was put straddIe of goat made Of
two by four and carried around the
room several times"
"What then?"
Il beheld a copy of r G. Dun's re
port open at tie chapter Keokuk
Upon the open book rested
pair of drug scales in on,
pan of which reposed pound of concen
trated lie and in the other a silver jack
ass sitting down."
''What did this emblem signify?"
s'The scales the debter and creditor, tn
other two represented liabilities an,
ass SETS
What lesson did this teach your"
''That the former is always so almight
better than the latter"
"Shake brother. You will be off O
from"
"Dick Morehouse and both lent tn
fellow So"
''Now you see, Mr.. Reporter, why E
Lake belongs to all these secret socie
ties. When a fellow gets dead brok
among strangers, you see. he has a
these things to fall back upon and lc
more things to fall back on him."