The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-04-22
MY FINANCIAL CAREER.
The One Experience of = Man Who Wanted
to Open an Account.

The clerks rattle me; the Wiekets rattle
me; the sight of the money rattles me; eY-
erything rattles me.
The moment cross the threshold Of a
bank am hesitating jay. If attempt
to transact business there become an If
responsible idiot.
l knew this beforehand, but my salary
had been raised to $50 a month, and / felt
that the bank was the only place for it.
So I shambled in and looked timidly
round at the clerks. had an idea that a
person about to open an account must
needs consult the manager.
went up to wicket marked e" Account
anti The accountant was a tall, cool
devil The very sight of him ratified me-
My voice was sepulchral
''Can I see the manager9' I said, and
added solemnly, "alone." I don't know
why said ''alone.'
Certainly - said the accountant, and
fetched him.
The manager was grave, calm man. I
held my $50 clutched in crumpled ball in
my pocket.
Are you the managerY'' said God
knows didn't doubt it.
Eyes, he said.
"Can see you" asked, "alonep'
didn't want to say "alone'' again, but
without it the thing seemed self evident.
The manager looked at me in some
alarm He felt that had an awful secret
to reveal
Come in here he said and led the
way to a private room. He turned the key
in the lock.
1--WE are safe from interruption here, -
he said "Sit down"
We both sat down and looked at one an
other found no voice to speak.
You are one of Pinkerton's men, pre-
sumo he said
He had gathered from my mysterious
manner that was a detective 1 knew
what he was thinking and it made me
worse
mo, not from Pinkerton's," said,
seemingly to imply that 1 came from
rival agency.
ITO tell the truth went on as If
had been prompted to lie about it, 81 am
not a detecti2 at all. 1 have come to open
an account. intend to keep all my money
in this bank.
The manager looked relieved, but still
serious. He concluded now that was
son of Baron Rothschild or young Gould.
"A large account, 1 suppose, he said.
| ! Fairly large, - whispered. 81 propose
to deposit $50 now and $50 month regu-
larly."
The manager got up and opened the
door He called to the accountant.
Mr.. Montgomery he said unkindIy
| loud, this gentleman is opening an &C
count He will deposit $56. Good morn
ing"
rose.
A big iron door stood open at the side of
the room.
Good morning. 1 said and stepped
into the safe.
Come out. - said the manager coldly
and showed me the other way.
went up to the accountants wicket
and poked the ball of money at him with a
quick convulSiVe movement as if I were
doing a conjuring trick.
! My face was CHASTITY pale.
Here" 1 said, deposit it," The tone
/ of the words seemed to mean, "Let US do
this painful thing while the fit is on US. -
He took the money and gave it to an
other clerk. He made me write the sum
on slip and sign my name in Il book. I
no longer knew what | was doing. The
bank swan before my eyes.
els it deposited?'' I asked in a hollow,
vibrating voice.
sit is, " said the accountant.
| "Then l want to draw a check
My idea was to draw out SO Of it for
present use. Some one gave me a check
book through u wicket, and some one else
began telling me how to write it out. The
people in the bank had the impression that
I was an invalid millionaire. I wrote
something on the check and thrust it in at
the clerk. He looked at it.
again?'' he asked in surprise. Then real
lied that had written Sc instead of 6. l
was too far gone to reason now. had
feeling that it was impossible to explain
the thing All the clerks had stopped writ
ing to look at me.
Reckless with misery made plunge.
Eyes, the whole thing"
"You withdraw your money from the
bank?''
t'Eyerv cent of it.
Are you not going to deposit any
! more?'' said the clerk, astonished.
Never
An idiot hope struck me that they might
think something had insulted me while I
was writing the check, and that l had
changed my mind. made wretched at
tempt to look like man with a fearfully
quick temper.
The clerk prepared to pay the money.
"How will you have it?'' ne said.
WHAT"
"How will you have it?''
"Oh." l caught his meaning and an
swered, without even trying to think, in
| fifties. "
He gave me $50 bill.
''And the Skip he asked dryly.
Sin sixes,'' said
He gave it me- and rushed out.
AS the big doors swung behind me 1
caught the echo of roar of laughter that
went up to the ceiling of the bank. Since
then l bank no more. 1 keep my money
in cash in my trousers pocket and my saw
ings in silver dollars in a sock.-Stephen
Leacock in Life