davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31
TOO FAT TO WORK.
And He Is Now Being Shaved of 100
Pounds.

And He Is Now Being Shaved of $50
Pounds.
Who has not heard OF the proverbiaI
fat, jolly man? The expression has be-
come so hackneyed that it almost seems
as though no man had Il right to feel
jolly unless he was fat. Well, Thomas
Bower, of New York, is fat. He weighs
$50 pounds and he isn't jolly. On the
contrary he has worried SO much that
he may never be jolly again.
Thomas was a waiter in 81 hotel. He
was a tirst-class advertisement for the
dining room, to be sure; but unfortun-
ately space is valuable in New York
and poor Thomas grew so fat that he
could only with difficulty move be-
tween tables, and he had to go. He ap-
piled elsewhere for work, but his ap-
pearance was against him and he was
rejected. This made him worry, but as
he had worried before his discharge
and through dread Of it he only grew
the fatter now that physical exertion
was removed. Finally he entered
Bellevue Hospital and implored the
physicians to relieve him by cutting him
in two They are now engaged in re-
ducing him by $50 pounds, and the
probabilities are that he will be waiter
again. But he'll never be jolly Worri-
ment lest he get fat again will prevent
him
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31

Thievcry rs profession is accom-
panied constantly by Improvement In
methods and by new qualities of ad-
dress, craft, alertness and daring. The
other day four or five persons drove up
in an express wagon in front OF one of
the finest residences in q Chicago sub
urb and backed their wagon to the curb
They then entered the house and dis
mantlcd the parlor, taking valuable
paintings, bric-a- brac, ornaments,
vases, rugs and other movable articles,
which they loaded into the wagon and
then drove away. The family were at
dinner at the time, with the door be-
tween the dining room and the parlor
closed. Ncighbors saw the wagon IN
front Of The house and the thieves load
ing their plumber into il, but did not
suspect that Il daylight burglary was
being committed in their presence, The
robbers got completely away, leaving
no trace for successful pursuit.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31

Perhaps, after AL. the newspaper
Judgment rs TO the value of a rich mans
estates may not be SO far out of the
way, Notwithstanding the popular be-
lief that the newspapers are prone to
eXaggcrate in these matters. After
the death Of Jay Gould the newspapers
kindly took hand at the business of
posting his books and striking Il bal
ancc for the benefit of their readers.
The result of this arithmetic was the
concurrent journalistic opinion that Mr.
Gould had left about $4,000 900 and
some odd cents. Now it appears that
the newspapers did not place too large
II value on the estate, but, according to
the figures of Appraiser Mcclure, I'M
dercStimatcd it by nearly $90O0,O0O,
the actual value being $SO,96i, 5SO.79,
instead Of ST2.0OO,0OO. If you see 1t
i'll the newspapers yon may set it down
rs Il careful statement based on an in
yeStigation rs to all the ascertainable
facts. Generally speaking, you might
bet on it.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31
TOO MUCH ELBOW GREASE,
Washing Need Not BE the Lnborious
Work 1t lis Ordinarily Found.

Washing Need Not BE the Lnborious
Work 1t lis Ordinarily Found.
Il have found" said one of those
modern housekeepers whose ideas, ac-
cording to the Milwaukee Journal,
would horrify her maternal ancestors
If they could but hear them, that ell
bow grease, when applied to laundry
work, Is not the much to be praised
thing that | have always been brought
up to believe it was, and that in some
cases it is Il detriment to successful
and careful washing. BY dint of many
experiments l have discovered that q
small scrubbing brush will work Won
ders. l can take an ordinary garment
with collar and sleeves badly soiled
and cleanse 1t by this process in one
third of the time and with infinitely
less hard work than the average laun-
dress. l make mixture of soap and
Kerosene oil and let 1t stand over night,
or prepare it and keep 1t in Il stoppered
jug or bottle. With soft brush rub
the collar and cuffs and all Of the
soiled places, then roll the garment uD,
TVc Il few minutes while others are be-
ing done. When all are prepared be-
gin with the first and rinse and BRUSH
the surface with hot soapsuds. In
nine eases out of ten the garment will
need no further rubbing. | do not APP
prove Of clothes being merely scalded.
They need not be boiled for any length
Of time, but should have about one or
three minutes in actually boiling suds.
This diSSolves any gummy substances
that may not rub out of the iiberS, and
tainly more hcalthful. Clothes soaked
over night in warm SudS made with
the soap and kerosene mixture will
wash easier and look better, to say
nothing of wearing much longer, than
those laundried in the ordinary way"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31
Rats Are His Friends.

Thomas Williams lives near Vance
burg, Ky, in little log cabin where he
has resided for many years in complete
isolation. He has many queer tastes,
the most extraordinary being Il fond
ness for rats. These rodents he keeps
about him in swarms, and he looks to
their rearing as one would lot OF
chickens. When he wants a dish that
is particularly toothsome he decoys a
rat into little box and kills it. Strange
10 say, his rats are all on the best Of
terms with him. He feeds them regu-
larly and enjoys their bold sportiveness
about the house. The place Is literally
alive with rats.
He talks about his rats just like n fine
stock breeder would talk about his cat
tie.
He goes on to explain. with coun-
tenance of delight, the fine points about
each favorite rodent. The old gentle
man mas good bulk of money hid
somewhere in the neighborhood of his
cabin. but no one knows anything about
how much.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31
AND ITS DEFENSE.
Possibilities in the Event of Attack
by a Hostile Force.

Possibilities in the Event of Attack
by Hostile Force.
Experiments at Shoeburyness have
shown that an Armstrong shell can be
thrown 9,176 yards-about five and one
third miles-says writer In Temple
Bar 1t is therefore absolutely clear
that If all the fleet were temporarily
absent, either on some special mission
or dispersed by storm, hostile iron
clads taking up position within four
miles of the eastward Of Europa Point
might with impunity send shot and
shell into the outlying ports OF the
fortress and cause much destruction or
life and property. On the other mana,
the Governor Of the fortress would not
be idle, and the experiences OF the late
civil war in America have abundanty
proved that the cannon in fortresses, IL
they strike a ship Of war with thelr
projectiles, even at long range, may 90
considerable mischief; while, on the
other hand, many shot and shell may
strike fort and only do thrilling dam
age. 1t Is practically Impossible 10
throw shot or shell over the high part
of the rock near Spain, and the cannon
enscnnced In the unique rock galleries,
with their royal artillery gun detach-
ments, would be absolutely safe. Even
if the neutral ground between Gibraltar
and Spain were occupied by hostile
foe comparatively little damage would
be the result. During the writer stay
at Gibraltar it was considered desirable
to try the experiment Of firing upward
from the plain on the Spanish side into
the galleries, dummies being placed 10
represent the necessary gun detacn-
ments. A regiment several hundred
strong was accordingly placed in posi-
ton and supplied with ball cartridges.
The range, however, was unknown,
and the fire being directed upward, 1T
was fully an hour before any or the
dummies were hit, after the eXpendl-
ture of much ammunition. In actual
warfare, of course, the British rifle
sharpshooters must have picked out
their foes by firing downward from the
galleries. Bombproof barracks ana
hospitals are potent factors against the
horrors of bombardment, and there is
little doubt that there is ample room at
Gibraltar for some amendment Oh this
head.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31

the probe, which is gently insinuatei
through the tissues; second, Il little
pocket battery, connected with the ear
piece; and, third, the ear piece itself,
which is exactly like the corresponding
part of Il telephone.
1t Is used in this way: The flap is cut
with the Pyle drill and turned back.
Then the chain which bangles from the
probe Is screwed into one of the keys
which projects from the ear piece, and
the hand piece for the operator is sim
ilarly connected with another kew in
the ear piece
The surgeon then takes the probe in
the right hand, puts the ear piece to his
ear, and gently presses the probe
through the delicate tissues Of the brain
until 1t touches the foreign body, bone
or bullet, as it may be. The minute
this contact is accomplished quite a
distinct sound is carried through the
circuit to the operators ear. BY an i'll
genious device pair Of teeth are pro-
jectcd on each side of the end of the
probe, and take immediate hold of the
foreign substance thus found, which
can be deftly drawn out of the wound.
The detective and extractive powers
Of this instrument are said to be In
fallible, and the extraordinary tineneSs
Of it's work is particularly serviceablc
in the brain, whose tissues are so easily
damaged, and where, naturally, the
very least amount Of laceration is de-
sim bJa
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31
He Saw More than the LAWYER.

During the trial of an assault case
at a recent petty session in country
town in Ireland, Il very corpulent bar
rister cross-examined a witness, who
had the misfortune to be blind of one
eye. Tell me, my man, on your oath,
did you see the prisoner strike the
plaintiff with the weapon mentioned?"
eyes, sorr, as sure as guns iron /
saw him.
''Come now, none of that. But how
can you positively swear you saw him
Go 1t, and the sight of your eyes not
altogether as good as it ought to be?"
said the barrister, triumphantly.
Witness (to magistrate)- Shure, yer
honor, that don't make a bit o. differ
enee; and II 1t comes to that, shure I
kin see more than him" (pointing to
the fat barrister) ANY day
'"How Is that?" said the magistrate.
.Well, yer honor, kin see his boots,
and that's more than he can see at any
time as he's got 'em on"
Complete collapse OF the barrister,
and loud laughter In the court
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31

companies this set of instruments, AMI
so still retains at this base It's connec-
tion with the scalp and the matted It's
sue Immediately enveloping the bone
which / have called periosteum.
1t is thus possible simply to turn back
this flap of bone and scalp into It's place,
stitch its outer surfaces OF thin flesh
together, and leave 1t there to heal rs
natural land not foreign protection of
the brain wound. In many operations
by the trephine n metallic button is ein-
ployed to lie between the brain and the
replaced flap OF scalp.
Still more wonderful is the "tele-
phonic probe This instrument com
bines the utmost nicely of mechanical
compactness with the most recent de
yelopments of electrical science. 1t
consists OF three parts. First, there r.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31

The Chinese method of dealing with
army officers who lose battles OF prove
false to their trusts possesses some
UNIQUE features of retributive justice,
4 dispatch from Shanghai states that
General Wei Iu Kwei, who at the bat
tie of Ping Yang failed to bring his
troops upon the field in time to assist
General Tso has been beheaded at Pek-
ing. There were no inquiries as to the
causes Of his negligence. He simply
did not arrive at the battle field and
take part in the fight. Probably in or
der that he may never have Il chance
to repeat the mistake the Emperor has
ordered his head chopped off. The dis
patch adds with grim humor that
should the Japanese succeed in taking
Port Arthur there is no doubt that Ii
Hung Chang will pay for it with his
head. Whether Ii will be responsible
for the loss of>Port Arthur does not APP
pear TO cut any figure in the matter 1t
was his business to prevent its capture
This plan of dealing with those in COM
mand OF Il nations armies. though a
trifle harsh, certainly has its advant-
ages. knowing that II he loses he Is
going to be executed Is calculated to
make a general fight desperate battles.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31

founder of the farm, Richard Siege, for
whom the station on the Southern Pa
cific Railroad near where the ranch is
was named, says it is as big bonanza
as gold mine.
He started few months ago with
1000 California frogs, and now esti-
mates that he has at least 100000.
They are so thick that they jump about
like grasshoppers when they are dis
turbed, and fairly fecked the tops Of the
Gala lilies and nodules of mud in the
pond where they are placed
Mr.. Siege had considerable difficulty
at first in keeping his frogs after he had
them, but he has overcome that, and
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31

now his pond is a safe prison, being
surrounded by a board fence topped
with sheet iron and tin. TO an inter
viewer he said:
"Shall l make any money? Well, I
count that 1t is the best business in
California to-day. 1t is better than
owning South African gold mine. In
summer good fat frogs never go below
$3.50 a dozen, and in winter the ruling
price is from 81 to So
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31
Cheer Un. Yc Men.

How fortunate it is that man i'"
mime censors do not leave him Nl'i'V',
hope in the future. Fallen as 'he ''s
baby man is, woman-the new "o'I una
HOLDS out strong hand to the cn'ln
man. and insists. but with infinite , w.,
derness and pity, upon helpinS n1
up" Our feelings in return, MIS- "'"r,
may rest assured, will be those Of u"''
terable regard and gratitude. urt.
From our clubs, from the moran iii
ters where we lie walloWinS' WE ~
stretch forth our hands to meet , LIN.
of the lady novelist and her anger :, ~" r,il
mates. With "infnite tenderness .nov
we welcome their clasp. ana "n'n .,s an
nave assisted us e i1e ana -, or.
, ~, s's sho " snn,,a hail experience
Ea@ine'
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31
Man NAV be able to withstand &

Man may be able to withstand the
charms of woman. He may shut his
eyes to her beauty and turn Il deaf ear
to her brilliant talk. But when woman
and Fate advances upon him hand in
hand, as ii were. it is time for him to
begin studying the marriage service.
Miss ANGEL MarSton. of New York, rs
an illustra ton had no chance of becom-
ing the wife of Edward Tallman until
Fate took Il hand in the game. Mr..
Tallman did not even know her until
he caught her pony one day when it
tried to run away. Even then he gave
the matter no further thought. and
Fate had to try 1t all over again. On
the second trial the young lady sprain-
cd her ankle i'll front of the young
mans home. and he again came to her
rescue. Then he capitulated and pro-
posed. DEMONSTRATION seemed to be
dangerous, In an endeavor to bring
about the union Fate might make Il
slip and kill the young lady or MAIN
her In some way. AS a matter Of safety
they were married.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31
TOOLS SURGEONS USE.

The New Inventions Greatly Assist
in Brain Surgery.
The modern surgeon must be some
thing Of Il practical mechanic. He is
required to handle Il large number of
delicate and complicated tools, and he
must understand how mechanism may
aid in securing the bast results. The
recent great advances in surgery have
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31

EMRs. r, KING. there would still be
nearly half a million acres outside the
State line. Eighteen hundred ana
seventy-five square miles of absolute
domain, in which one Woman'S VIII
is law. This seems incredible, Dut
such are the realty holdings in farm
lands alone of Mrs. Richard King OF
Corpus Christi Texas. The whole OIL
Southern Texas is divided into rev
great estates, one of which belonged
to Capt. Richard King. He, dying Ill
1885, left the enormous area to his
widow.
Mrs. King is 60 years of age. laoy
of kindly instincts and admirable chai-
acteristics that have made her greauE
beloved by the community. she ll'eS
very plainly and does not spend tl'le
of her income.
The division of these pastures, VINO"
the increase in population VIII SUI"
render inevitable, will be Of great pen
eft to the country, but 1T VIII deSuo'
the entirety of as remarkable Plop
erty rs exists in the United States ~
day. The land alone is worth l"A
S5,0OOO0O as it is. 1t will be worth "'-
told millions when it is deNoteu "
viniculture, a possibility of the ne",
future. for which it is better sulI'U
than it is for the purpose OF ralS'"7
'scalawags'' or long-horned steers
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31
EmpcrOr William finds the name

Emperor William finds the name Of
Bismarck one to conjure with even
when deprived of power by his males
tvs own act. Bismarck was father of
the German navy and chief architect of
its colonial policy. The Emperor, in
his speech asking money to put the
navy on proper footing, felt constrain-
cd to ask it in the name Of the retired
statesman, whose influence is still po-
tent even with his enemies.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31

been made possible very largely by the
discovery Of new mechanical appli-
ances. which have in nearly every in
stance been the invention Of surgeons.
In the treatment of epileptics, where
the surgical interference consists in
opening the skull over the spot where
the affected motor center is known to
be, and either removing it or i'll taking
away II splinter or bone or bullet, which
presses upon it, the success of the OPP
GRAFTON is vastly increased by the use
Of an ingenious instrument, and an even
more adroit apparatus which has been
very recently invented by able sur
geons.
One of the illustrations of this article
shows the skull Of II patient opened by
the use Of DR.. pyle'S diamond drill. 1t
is needless to state how vastly superior
is this instrument to that of the ordi-
nary and now old-fashioned trephine.
The trephine entirely removes a button
of bone, and to do this it is necessary
to detach it altogether from the scalp
and periosteum, and SO prevent it's fur
Their usefulness in the healing process
or as Il protection to the exposed brain
tissue.
But in the illustration /, will be seen
that when the hony protection of the
brain has been entirely cut through in
all parts, except at it's base, by these
diamond drills, it is pried and broken
back by the use of Il lever, which ac-
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31
FUNERALS IN ARGENTINE.

Strange Advertisement from Thai
Far-Off Country.
The following advertisement appears
in recent number of an Argentine
newspaper:
NJ. MIRAS,
UNDERTAKEN AND COACH RE.
POSITORY.
Gale Balcorce 212-G26.
Between Gales Alsina and Moreno.
This establishment is the first and
only one to reduce to fair limits the
price Of interments, thus allowing fami-
lies Of moderate resources to honor their
dead suitably and it publishes tariff in
order that the public may compare
prices with those of other houses.
TARIFF.
Special Category-Splendid hearse,
six horses, mutes, etc, engraved coffin.
with double metal case and bronze
handles, landau for wreaths, 3 special
mourning coaches, 35 carriages, service
for waking corpse, Gothic or Roman.
silver plate for coffin, servants to re-
ceive mourning cards, advertisements
in papers, permit Of registry, coach for
errands at disposal. Price $1,000, in
which everything is included.
Louis XIV. Style-Hearse and horses,
'dau for wreaths, % carriages wroubnt
coffin with metal case and European
handles, service for wake, Gothic plate
tor coffin, permit, advertisements, etc.
servants and coach for errands, etc.
price $3.50.
European Style-Hearse, horses, 3
mourning coaches, mutes, etc, 20 car
riages, wrought coffin, double metal
case, European handles, plate for coffin,
service for wake, permit, advertise
'ments, service, coach for errands, etc.
Price $500.
First Category-A. Hearse, 4 horses.
|mutes, mourning coaches, coffin with
double metal case and European han
dies, table, clothes, etc, house arranged
in mourning, permits, advertisements,
|etc., coach for errands. Price $3.50
B.-Hearse, horses, 2 mourning
koaches, mutes, Is carriages, coffin with
metal case and European handles,
table, clothes, etc, permit, advertise
ments, etc, coach for errands. Price
$500.
C.-Hearse, 4 horses, mourning coach
es, 10 carriages. coffin imitation ebony
with double metal case and bronze han
dies, nickel-plate for coffin, table, linen,
etc, permit and advertisements, ser
wants, coach for errands. prwe $3.50
Second Category-A. Hearse, = horses
mourning coach, 8 carriages, plate for
coffin, cloths, candlesticks, etc, permit
etc. Price $500.
B.-Hearse, horses, coffin imitation
ebony, mourning coach, 6 carriages,
candlesticks. Price $3.50.
C.-Hearse, 2 horses, cedar coffin,
leaden case, mourning coach, 5 car
riages, cloths, candlesticks. Price 5000
This establishment undertakes the
transference of remains from any part
of the world, also from one cemetery to
another, from the camp to city.
Church services with catafalque, mass
es, and without any additional charge.
Families may rest assured that they
will be scrupulously attended to, and
will not be in the slightest inconven-
fenced, owing to the employees being
Thoroughly trained. An order by tele-
phone is quite sufficient to promise the
attendance Of an employee with de-
n ilaI tariff
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31

A California Rancher Has Million,
and Proposes to Supply the Market.
One Of the queerest ranches that has
ever been heard Of has lately been es-
tablished few rods from Steges sta
ton, Contra Costa County, and in the
last few days it has attracted a great
deal of attention. 1t is frog farm, and
bids fair to be one Of the biggest pay
ing enterprises in the country. The
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31
A Famous Sword.

Cen Wolfe's sword. which he wore
when he met his death at the capture
OF Quebec in 1859 and which its owner.
Maj. Dunn, used In the charge OF the
Light Brigade at Balaklava. has just
been bought by the Canadian Minister
Of Militia
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31

The statistics show that 1872 persons
were removed in the United States in
1894 by means of the rope and electro
cution. But there was a big lot left
that needed similar treatment.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31

A pugilist in Springfield, Ohio, died
from the effects of Il blow on the nose,
received in prize fight. But the books
will be balanced by crediting one death
to excessive hemorrhage." 1t sounds
hot tor
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31

George Gould says his foreign yacht
ing tour last year cost him 100000, an
average Of $4,615.3S day. We believe
he could have more fun and get more
action for his money If he would stay
at home and buy daily newspaper.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31

'If man tells a lie," said Chief Two
Sticks on the witness stand, that mo-
ment he drops down dead" He seems
to have been totally ignorant Of the
ways Of civilized life.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31

Ex-senator James G. Fair, the Bo-
nanza King, is dead. With his multi
millions he ranked no better than the
wrctchedcst of the poor when the grim
cleaner got ready to scoop him in.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1895-01-31

"Good stuff well sold" Farmers who
live up to that motto are making money
in crops that others produce at loss.
Paste the words over your desk and
think out the details for yourself.