The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1895-11-28
TASTY MANS DIARY
The Danger Of Alteration in Youths
Who Lack Experience.
PERIL IN CERTAIN FAULTS
The Parasite In the Club. a Type
Well Worth Close Study
Making Religion
Mockery.
Copyrtght, 1896.

SopyTxuts lo>o
Monday.-vane has exquisite hands.
They are very warite and the fingers
taper delicately, like lily stems. He
never wearies OF motioning with these
flowers of hands of his. Poor, laugh
able. crude Huggard, who has had the
misfortune to take Vane as his model.
is forever initiating any such manual
gesture as strikes his fancy and, nat
urally. makes a guy Of himself.
Most inexperienced young men are
foolish after this fashion. Some ele-
giant fellow or other captivates their
untaught fancies, and they make them
selves the mirrors of his folly. Hug
Vane affects them He wears curly
bangs over his forehead because Vane
does. Were Vane to fall i'll, / am sure
Huggard would take to his bed.
My heart bleeds for Huggard. He
Is very tall and also thin. He has hay
and his walk is that lank, ostrich-like
strut habitual to boys who have been
brought up in the country. He got m
to our set purely as the result of acci-
dent, but dt is intensely ludicrous to
observe the airs he puts on and the
lofty condescension with which he
treats his erstwhile intimates. He is
at the club morning, noon and night,
consistency which betrays his inexperi-
ence. Huggard is a terrible warning
to those young fellows who permit
themselves to be made the victims or
their own inexperience.
/ would not pay 50 much attention
to Huggard we're 1t not for little in
cident which drew my particular at
tention TO him. 1t happened one even
ing that we were an discussing Stock,
whose verses aroused great interest
lately.
Stock may write poetry" Alton
said, but IL Ii really Is poetry, why
I'm a poet, too"
'Then why don't you write verses as
well as he?" asked Jawkins.
That set the ball rolling. and We all
began to scribble lines I'm imitation of
Stocks. and read them to each other
with infinite merriment.
should have forgotten this incident
completely IL Huggard had not APP
preached me few days later at the
club.
do you remember" he faltered. in
that unsteady speech Of his, "the
verses you wrote IN imitation OF
Stock's?"
/ remember them.
',well," said Huggard, 81 repeated
them to some men here-er-and they
Observation-Disclosures / wrote them
Grand they compfimented meet
and told Stock wrote them-er-"
In short the poor, raw lad had act
uany stolen my credit and was beg
Blnk me not DtlIdy DlIn was
vexed, i admit, but / laughed and as
sured him he needn't be afraid. Many
a time those verses have been quoted
at the club and laughed at, and Hug
gard has been praised in my presence
for writing them. He reminds me of
sheep az such moments. i am sorry
for the poor fellow. He has parted with
his self-respect. However, he is a
warming to all snobbish young men.
and he will have his fall in due time.
Tuesday.-Alton is a magnificent fell
low. His faults are magnificent faults.
Talleyrand says the faults of our
friends are our own stepping stones TO
perfection, and Alton must, therefore,
be a sort of moral staircase. Alton Is
tall. handsome, blue-eyed and fair. He
Is so wrapped i'm dreams that Vane
calls him the astronomer, because his
head Is always among the stars. Alton
has a disconcerting habit of looking at
you with a far-away expression in his
blue eyes and saying, Whats that?"
This is aggravating when you have
been trying to say something import
ant. Another defect in Alton is his
laugh. Now. men cannot be too care
full as TO how they laugh. Atoms
cachination is a high, continuous
squeal with staccato notifications.
Very few men know how to laugh.
alasl
In spite of the fact that Alton laughs.
1n
as a rule tremendously solemn have
seen the pyramids OF Egypt. i have
gazed upon the ruins of the Acropolis.
j have beheld Niagara. Not one of
them is so tremendously solemn as AL
ton. You could actually cut his grav-
tty with a knife. and many a time
Vane has put the table IN a roar by
nimicking Atoms impressive good
morning. and won't you come IMP"
Vane has hit upon a peculiar way of
knocking Alton. He treats him with
severe respect.
Good morningl" Alton will say.
Good morning. sir" Vane will reply,
with an impenetrable solemnity of
countenance
Alton: How have you been?
Vane: Very we'll. sir; how are you,
sir?
Alton: Well, thank you. What IS
new to-day?
vane: Nothing that 1 know of, sir.
Nane during this dialogue has as
sumed a heavy grandeur of expression
that is a caricature of Atoms face.
and we who hook on think Vane abb
surd; but then he makes Alton ridicu-
lous. The moral of Alton's PERSONAL
fty Is that men should beware of ele-
phantfne dignity. because 1t places
them completely at the mercy of any
carfcaturist who comes along.
Wednesday. The Pratsegod Bare
bones of this world are one of its chief
calamities. A certain member of our
set Is tremendously religious. and vane
alludes TO him always as '.the bishop"
The bishop is perpetually praying all
over the place. like a perpatetic dox-
ology. Religion in his hands is a club.
and whenever he sees a head he hits
II a resoundsng thwaok. He is always
approaching me on the subject of my
soul Not to speak irreverntly, he has
The grace OF God on tap and sprays It
all around him like a gardener with a
watering pot. Every Monday morning
he asks me II went 10 church yester-
day. / have heard of little, round, fat.
oily men OF God. but the bishop rs a
whole. big burly marching regiment OF
which man should beware Il IS making
religion a mockery.
After all the faulfS OF men are 50
interesting that one may pardon their
existence. Some faults are the result
of crudity and inexperience. like Hug