The morning call., 1895-02-03
THOSE AWFUL HUSBANDS.
They Are So Inconsiderate and So Hard
to Please.


to Please.
''Men are so hard to please" sighed the
young woman with the huge muff.
'They are, indeed" groaned the girl
with the big bunch of violets. "How do 1
know? Why, Walter Penandink used to
praise my playing so much that it set me
to practicing harder than ever; yet that
very thing ended in breaking off our friend
ship!"
'But how?"
"There was clearinghouse next door
to us. He came there to live while he
wrote his new book. My piano was on one
side of that party-hall; his desk was on the
other. That is all"
"And still the industry of the bee is held
up to admiration. But all men are just as
bad-there's not bit of logic in them.
Now, Howard used to praise my elegant
toilets before we were married, and yet
when my dressmaker's bill comes in he
uses such language that l have to remove
my parrot from the room!"
"Humph! and they actually talk as II
we were illogical"
"They do. But what worries me most
is the fact that Howard will smoke in the
house"
''But you probably told him before you
were married that you liked smoke"
"What if did He might have known
that / only meant in rooms where the
carpets and curtains are not my own"
$50 he might"
"But that is really nothing to the time
Lucy is having"
II didn't think a woman who has dia-
monds like hers would know what
trouble is
''My dear, her diamonds have given her
insomnia already"
81 don't see howp
''She can't sleep if she has them all in
the house for fear of burglars, and she
can't sleep if they are in the bank, lest the
cashier abscond with them"
Poor thing. Still she can enjoy them
all day."
every true. But about her troubles.
Maurice is always complaining OF and
poking fun at her big sleeves, SO she TOOK x
advantage of the fact to have her new ball
dress made with no sleeves at all. :"
''Quite, logical, Pm sure"
WASN'T it? She was to help Mrs. Swell
style receive the other evening and she
only kept her husband waiting three
quarters of an hour so he would not have
time to get cross. Then she came down In
her new gown"
'Well, was he pleased?"
''He was not He sent her upstairs to
put on a gown with sleeves in it. They
got to the reception in time to see the last
of the guests say goodnight"
'Well, he is hard to please. You've
heard of Edith's accident, haven't your"
''Mercy, no; what was it?"
''Why her husband pretends to know so
much about dress that she depends on him
to tell her if her toilet is all right. 1t fat
tiers his vanity and saves her lots OF trouble,
too
"A very nice arrangement"
eyes Now Edith has taken to wearing
one of the new chignons."
~ wish could, but hair is SO cruelty ex-
pensive."
eyes Well, she had. to dress in great
haste for big dinner party the other day.
The husband said he would advise her to
place her flowers a little to the Left other
wise she was perfect"
''Well wasn't sheY'
stNot quite During the game course
that horrid Mrs Flaxen leaned over and
whispered that she had forgotten to pin on
her chignon."
GOOD gracious'
"And there Edith had to sit through six
courses with her own hair done up in a
knot the size of biscuit at the back of her
head and her lovely new chignon lying on
the dressing-table at home"
"And after her husband had sworn to
love and protect herr"
Eyes. And she couldn't make him I'M
derstand the enormity Of his offense. He
seemed to think it was a joke and said it
was all her own fault anyhow.
''How utterly unreasonable. Well, If he
keeps going on in that way there will just
be a divorce in that family some day, that s
all."-Chicago Tribune.