The record-union., 1895-08-17

lighter on drying. Operations are re-
sumed.)
He tafter hanging another strip
Hullo! What's this confounded space all
down the side?
She-How stupied of us! We never cut
off the edge.
He-Stupid of us! like that. don't
pretend to know anything about it.
She-Don't be angry. dear. We're sure
TO make few mistakes at flrst. we can
easily cover the join. Cut the edge oil
the next piece, anyhow.
(he cuts. The roll goes through sew
eral inconvenient automatic evolutions.)
He-Boa constructors aren't in it with
this squirming paper. l wish you'd hoId
it steady. Look the miserable thing has
rolled up on to the point OF the scissors
and made great hole.
She-Never mind, dear. 1t won't show
when it's up. You might hang the next
strip a little straighter, though. That
last one doesn't nearly lit al the ceiling.
He testify lyl-When put it straight at
the top you said 1t didn't fit at the side.
cont help it. l wonder who the idiot was
that invented wall paper? (Savagely)-
| L should like to kick him.
: She-For goodness sake, don't lose
your temper, or we shall never finish.
/ He groaning)-All right; come on.
| (On the ladder.l How am 1 to hang
this, withthat bell thing in the way.
She-Can't you pull it out and put 1t
/ back afterward?
| He crosslyl-Pm afraid not Both
my hands are engaged, and l can't reach
1t with my teeth.
! She-Don't be silly. pll hold the paper.
Now try.
/ He-Irs dead fixture; if get it out
half the wall will come down.
! She-Ihen we must cut the paper to fit
1t. Just measure whore the bell comes.
! (He measures; she tries to cut the w ct
paper, which drags on the floor and gets
| hopelessly crumpled.)
! He-That's no good. Another piece
wasted
! She-Whst does one strip matter?
must cut it out before we paste. Does
so. While he is adjusting it the step
/ ladder wObbles. He clutches at the wall
rubbing off a large piece of damp paper.)
| He-Thaps pretty, isn't it? I won't
use these rotten steps any more. (Hurls
| the steps out of the door,
She (soothingly)-You can stand on a
chair, dear. 1t will be ever so much easier
to move about.
He (after great struggle to make the
paper tit corner)-Ugh! It's all cock
eyed and wrinkled Why can't builders
round off the corners decently? l must
have something to drink; l feel as if I'd
walked ten miles. | pity the poor devils
w X X
interval for refreshments.)
He after half an hours work)-pm
just about sick of this. Look at the
wrinkles and the smears, and the gaps !!
l wouldn't ask dog to live in the room.
The children will get squints or some
awful optical disease, | know; and it's
ten to one there's arsenic in these cheap
papers.
She-N onsense! That last strip was
much better-we're improving. Shall
we pull down the first few pieces and
start fresh?
He-Great heavens! I wouldn't do it
again for ten pounds | feel like boiled
all over me. Come on! don't stand star
ing. when you might be cutting fresh
strip.
She-Pm sure a boiled cod wouldn't
have such an awful temper!
He'll bet it would if it had taken on
a days paper hanging.
She-Pm not going to argue. You can
say us all my fault, II you like. Just be-
cause L try to save little money! And
you grumble so tearfully at the bills.
He-Grumblel l should think so, Pm
not millionaire, and if had lifty thou
sand year
She-Are you going on with this paper
ing or not?
He-I don't mind. Anything to oblige
which coiiapses. depositing him on
the floor in winding sheet of stick y
paper. He emerges. profaning.) Pm
not proposing to do any more. 1t isn't
worth it, breaking ones neck for two
pence penny. Wipes the paste out of
his hair and kicks the chair into a cor
ner.) You can finish it yourself if you
| want to.
She-You know can't do it without
you.
He-Very well. I'H write to Jenkins
to send out man tomorrow, and il ever
you catch me trying any of those insane
economical lodges again. you can have
me locked up as lunatic. (Retires in q
furious temper and sulks for week. y
| New Budget.