Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1895-10-04
ONE OF THE QUEER FOLKS,

sage remark David Pettibone emphasized
with the flap of a sudsy shirt on the wash
board. 1t was Monday morning, and he
was doing Mrs. David PettibOne washing
for her. while she had the rheumatism.
His neiChbor. Jonas Littlefeld. sat in the
shed doorway nursing his knees, and the
sage remark was addressed to him.
There's queer folks lvin',"
Jonas braced himself firmly against the
door frame. sdewise.
$50 there be. SO there he -" he assented
cone of EN- lives over to the Cross
Roads in the first story n-a-half house TO
the left. goin'. There's little rim of left
over whitewash under the caves, and q
creepn' Jenny over the front door"
"Mis' Beecher's?' Jonas asked recross-
ing his knees and rebracing himself
Conscience Beecher SHE S the ticket.
She's the queer folks there. Know hero
''Not to say know her-jest a speakin'
acquaintance after meetn. | do knows
! ever heard her first name before. nor any
body else's first name like it,
Conscience? Well l guess tbs little
mite odd, but it don't sound out O. the
way to me, as | know Of I've known
Conscience Beecher ever since she went to
school with me an give me bites of her
apple-cores. She's a good woman but
she's as queer as a snow storm Fourth O.
july
T
to the tub and he was Obliged TO fish for
them some minutes He always wore his
glasses when he did the washing. though,
as he wore them pushed up on his fore
head, the clothes could hardly be said to
profit materially by their presence The
t. hecks OF soapsuds on his brown, barred
"a. ~ arms looked oddly out OF place, and the
tlu- apron of bed ticking tied round his neck
suPe looked even more so. He was a little
no md and "a ,r,g
conlil'le washboard, denting him in the middle
i luz a. it did, uncomfortably interfered with
pe puuS' breathing. He spoke with little puffs
"a ec'eu iyeen his words, and italicized puffs at
ochool ST. periods. Jonas Litteield watched
ceL1eu us with lazy amusement. His wife
Sti uo'u' = had the rheumatism he thanked his
nc iioi iesiuencN Conscience AIM a real common
Us SIZE II Way name, david said. adjusting the
NaI e auulCotacles and soaping new garment.
= occupleu'culiar. Conscience father was
T. III 'ui4. accounts for il. He named his
OtrS la se e ut OF his own head, an there
waThSposeu hing common-every-day in
E!antiEpuses' ridges head" 49,
.jonasouu ID a minute then said by
way of SCOPE City:
81 amt livt here long enough TO have
ever heard tell a ut him"
"No? Then it, time ! told We He
was turrble original thinkin man. Had
five offsprings, an of all the names he give
EN-! There was Careful Ann-she was
the oldest She's dead. She warn't quite
careful enough, on took cold to camp
meetn' an died OF it. Then there vas
Peace N Plenty Elbridge-she married
Berrytown Plunket, an had nine of
springs-plenty OF EN-, but I do know
how peaceful they were. Conscience came
next. Then Romulus an Remus last
the two twins, They was the means of
namin' the town O. Rome over yonderr'
Jonas glanced up inquiringly at Davids
putfy chuckle. Jonas was not a classical
scholar.
Rome amt bad name" he remarked
'No-nO, faint. It's a pretty fair
name But as l was sayin', there's queer
folks Twin. Conscience Beechers one of
EN-. do know but it's her name struck
in"
"How's she queer?''
David Pettibone wiped his hands on the
bedticking apron and went over and sat
down on the saWhorse.
"HOws Conscience Beecher queer?
Well, she's turrible poor, shift less, unbe-
comm cumberer o the earth cordin' to
her say. Her house amt much better N
a pig sly, an she cooks turrible victuals''
Jonas frowned u never had no pa-
thence with poor cookers" he said.
"Poor cookers Conscience Beecher's
/
see anybody lay out a sightlier an tastier
meal o. victuals than she can An her
kitchen floors goods lookin glass. MY
land O. gracious, Conscience Beechers way
ahead n
"Thought you said she lived in a pig
pen, Jest minute ago"
"Cordin' TO her say, she does. That's
where she's queer. She's one o. them
women that's always maxim excuses an
out maxim eXcuses-an everybody else
too. She'll invite the presidin' elder over
10 supper, say Well, he won't no more
than step inside the parOr before she'll be-
gin. I'm drettul sorry the house looks
like such fright she'll say. lookn' NOR
tilted It's dretfu dusty an ty-speckled
! hope Won won't look at things real clOst
to-
David got up and rubbed himself and sat
down on one end of the meal chest
"A sawhorse is a turrible unsatisfactory
seal" he said, explanatory. Then he re
sumed his story.
"When it comes along suppeT-time, she'll
say, i hope You amt real hungry. for ]
amt got much of anything for Won 10 eat.
] do knows you can relish anything at all.
The biscuits is a turrible failure-I guess
l got in too much saleratus An if them
biscuits amt lest lights featheT-bed, an
Drowned 10 a turn. II sets my mouth to
waterin' to think of en-
"Then when she passes the sponge cake
she says, real doleful, will you try some
o. this cake? 1t amt a success an ! do
knows Won can cal il. ] had real poor
luck An so on minimum. There won't
be a single dish on that table iii to eat.
'But Conscience got her come-uppance
oncer
David leaned back against the tub and
laughed in reminiscent enjoyment
''She got her cOme-uppance that time
Ii was when the minister sWopped with
the Berrytown parson Conscience board
ed the new minister over Sunday. She
worked turrible hard gettin' up mess o
nice dishes 10 eat We was invited over
Mis- Pettibone an me-to supper Land