Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1895-01-15

spring. 1t was arranged that our marriage
should take place the coming October.
And now / began to lose my appetite and
strength. My parents were much alarmed,
and Jerome especially so. A European
voyage was discussed by the three most
soIicitous for my welfare and finally de-
cided upon, but for some reason which I
could not myself understand my will in
this matter asserted itself. I SO violently
opposed the plan that it was given up,
though most reluctantly.
/ had it in mind that was sinking into
decline, and wanted to die in my own
country. In dim sort of way felt that
great change was in store for me in the
coming summer-some crisis in my life
and my languor and depression of spirits
caused me to picture my own death. l
had even mentally arranged the dcathbcd
scene and the probable time of my demise,
which I thought would be either in July
or August. was, in fact, in deplorably
morbid state Of mind
My reading and music were of course
given up. had tainted while at the
piano, and the physician whom we had
known since my childhood issued his man.
date that / was to do nothing in music
during the summer, and that my reading,
if l read at all, must be of the lightcst and
most trashy nature. The 1st of July found
us again at the seashore-at the place
where we had first met the year before.
Jerome's passion for the ocean was, If
possible, greater than ever. He seemed
really satisfied and at case only when he
was near the water or Oh it, liking which
did not share, though l was usually his
companion when he went on his sailing
excursions. One evening l had started
alone for stroll on the beach, leaving
Jerome on the hotel piazza talking bust
ness with friend. The sun was setting
when he joined me, and we stood in silence
watching its disappearance below the hori-
ION line.
"Lct us walk down to the little cove
and take boat and go for short row."
My heart grew sick with apprehension.
at is too late" urged. sit would be
dark long before we could get back
mot at all. The moon will be up, and,
see, there are Others starting out. We shall
have company about u.s. even If we do not
know them
Il feel somehow" insisted, "as if I
cannot go on the water tonight.
Because" he queried.
II cannot tell why, but you know, Jer-
ONE, never oppose you-just now, how
ever
Nor must you now" he said, taking
my hands and looking into my eyes with
his kindly searching gaze.
but tho ocean is so large and our boat
80 small"
Yes, but know the ocean and love 1t.
We are on the best of terms. You know,
too, that l handle the oars with the skill
of professional oarsman.'
BY this time we had reached the cove,
and the man in charge of tho boats had
one in readiness for lis.
The strong will made me obey, as it al
ways did, and l stepped into the boat. AS
we pushed off saw small cloud coming
up out of the west. A sick fear came over
me, and the certainty crept into my brain
that the crisis l had been dreading was
| hanging over me.
| But l said nothing. jerome had no
! sympathy with frightened women. The
cloud grew larger and blacker. 1t was in
comprehensive to me that a man with
such cool Judgment and so large an
amount of caution as Jerome possessed did
not at once turn back The other boats
werc all coming in, but still we went on,
1t grew darker. The whole appearance Of
the night seemed CHASTITY to me. The
ocean lay very black, the breathings Of tho
wind just ripping the water. A thin,
shadowy vapor came and hid the moon.
| Now the breeze died out and the atmos-
phere grew hot.
In the extreme west the shade Of the
heavens was of a dismal state and tho
lightning was winking like stars, dancing
madly in among the gloom. sat motion
less in the middle of the boat, strangely
and unnaturally calm, watching the
growth of the storm. The gloom stole
gradually into darkness, as though giant
hand was warily drawing sable curtain
about US. Twice tried to ask if he were
trying to row homeward but could not
articulate word And now came vivid
flash of forked lightning. 1t showed me
Jcromes handsome face, pale as death, the
features set and rigid. The crash of thun-
der that followed was terrific.
When the peal had died away, some
thing came to my crippled consciousness
as decisive and hopeless as a sentence of
death to criminal. ''Wo are doomed, my
dear child, but at least we can die together.
could not have gone without YOU" The
winll rose, and our boat began dancing on
the crests of the waves as lightly rs o bird
on clover top. 1 thought l saw not far
off a boat larger than ours with some ono
in it, but was not sure that it was not
fancy of mine, born of a dim hope that we
might be saved a thousand lights danced
before my eyes; my senses were leaving
me; my feet grew icy cold and felt as if
they were in water, which was indeed the
All at once tho boat gave whirl and
plunge, and knew no more. When the
morning dawned, clear and cool, l found
myself lying in the boathouse, blanketed
friends about me. Why did not inquire
in regard to the fate of jerome? hardly
knew, but did not.
''Mr Crocker has just gono up to the
hotel to dry and warm himself, :" volun
teered one of my friends. "We begged
him to go. We assured him we would
send him word directly you regaincd your
consciousness"
After a fortnight had passed, during
which time we had not seen much Of each
Other, Jerome being laid up with symp-
toms of an illness which was only warded
off, am sure, by the strength of his iron
will, became aware Of distinct change
in my illusions. Ny nature, hitherto
"tumbling about among inoongruities, "
had found its feet and was planted on tho
firm ground of consistency.
began to discern with clearing vision
the real future, The pearly dawn had
changed into shadowy darkness which
showed me images i'll shaped and hideous
"What would my life be-, repeatedly
asked myself, If spent under the control
Of temperament SO exacting, demanding
the absorption of my whole being into hiss