Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1895-04-06
THE BOWSERS.
Mr.. and Mrs. BOwser Indulge i'm
Spring Cleaning.

Aren't you going TO the office thi:
morning. queried Mrs. Bowser al
the breakfast table, as she noticed
that Mr.. Bowser was wearing an old
suit of clothes.
Not this morning, my dear" he
blandly replied.
"Aren't you feeling well?"
Never felt better"
Then why-why-"
Because feel it my duty to re.
main at home and assist you. | have
noticed certain preparations for clean.
ing house. 1t would not be Just or
fair to put all the work off on your
shoulders
But was simply going TO clean
the parlor bit, and you would really
he in the way instead of assisting, y
stiN pIotesttu
Mrs. Bowser your health is very
precious to me. | will at least move
all the heavy pieces and take up the
carpet. 1t will be a sort of picnic for
me, you know
"But something will happen, and
you'll get mad, and"
Nothing will happen. No one
will get mad. Everything will 60 of
as smooth as grease. l not only need
the exercise it will afford me, but We
might as well save couple of dollar,
as to throw them away"
After breakfast Mr.. Bowser began
moving furniture into the back parlor.
He was so gentle with everything and
so good natured withal that Mrs. Bow.
ser had hopes. He fell from the step
ladder twice while taking down the
pictures, but he got up and smiled as
he rubbed his elbows. The cat got in
his way and tripped him down as he
was carrying chair, but he rolled
over and got up and encouraged young
Bowser to laugh at the circus.
'1'll get mad will II" he chuckled
as he turned to Mrs. Bowser after skin
ming his knuckles on the door.
Some husbands would, no doubt, but
| am not built that way. Everything
is out now and I'll go for the carpet" "
I'll get you something to pry out
the tacks."
THE tacks are all right Mrs. Bow
ser. When | get hold of the carpet
the tacks will came fast enough.
just please to remember that | knew
all about tacks and carpets long he
fore you were born. II will take me
two minutes by the watch TO have this
carpet up"
lie stopped down at one corner Of
the room and got his fingers under the
carpet and heaved. A yard or so
loosened. and Mr.. Bowser :fell back
ward, and his heels kicked high in the
air.
81 told you that you ought to take
out the tacks," said Mrs. Bowser as
she came forward.
"Will you kindly evacuate this
room and take that young un with
your he sternly replied as he got up.
al think | know how to take up a
blamed old carpet. When it has been
proved that don't, you can take
holdr'
When Mrs. Bowser had gone, Mr..
Bowser got fresh hold, and By tax.
ing due precautions he lifted one side
of the carpet A smile was just break
ing through the redness of his face
when he grabbed for another pull and
struck 12 ounce tack. 1t was wait
ing for him, and they heard his yell of
surprise in the next house. When he
came down after jumping two feet
high. the whole house seemed to shake.
"Mercy on me but what's the ,mat.
ter?" exclaimed Mrs. Bowser, as she
rushed in.
when | want you | will call YOU"
he replied as he waved her back.
He wanted te strike the wall, kick
the door or break the window, but he
restrained himself. He even forced
himself to be calm and pull the rest
of the carpet up foot by foot. instead
making one terrific "yank" which
should heave il out of the window and
across the street. He must fold il up
and get it OFT doors. He had this
task half accomplished when he made
a slip and pitched forward and sprawl
ed out. He did not cry out as $50
carpet tacks iabbed him from head to
heels, seeking vital spot. He was
past that An hour later, when Mrs.
Bowser, who had become alarmed at
the unusual stiffness, entered the room,
Mr.. Bowser was not to be seen. He
was not in the back yard. He was
not upstairs. When lunch time came
he entered the front door as usual, and
she rushed forward to exclaim:
"Why, Mr.. Bowser what became of
you all at once?"
"Is this Mrs. Bowser?' he inquired
in ice-cold tones, as he looked her up
and down.
''Of course it is"
wife of Mr.. Bowser?"
Certainly am. You were get
ting along all right with the carpet
last tip,e | looEoI in''