The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1895-03-05
SPECIMENS OF WIT.
some HISTORIC FLASHES OF sPoN-
TANEouS HuMOR.

Cieves and BRUTAL Jests Passed Among
EngIishmen of Long Ago.
Generally speaking, the strong have
refused to put up with jesting from the
weak. The Car Nicholas, who had
some fine qualities, was hardened against
y meditated act of cismency by the un-
daunted spirit Of a prisoner. Relief, a
man Of letters, had been implicated in
the conspiracy of 1926 and sentenced to
Zoe hanged. He was launched from the
fatal ladder, when the rope broke and
he was thrown TO the ground, severely
bruised, but conscious. He picked him
self up and said quietly, 'They can do
nothing in Russia. not even twine cord
properly" 1t was customary in Russia
flasco, but on Relieff's words being re-
ported to the czar and his pleasure de-
Imanded he replied, "Prove him the con-
Itrary."
Henry VIII, with all his violence and
tyranny, cosld bear with retort as we'll
Ias give one, for he loved wit. When it
was told him that tho pope had sent the
cardinal 5 bat TO Fisher, bishop of Roch-
ester, he said, "He may have the hat
with" and the bishop was brought to
the block, On one occasion the turbu-
lent Earl of Kildare was brought before
the king, charged with setting fire TO
tho cathedral lrofs. Cashei. II own it,
said the earl, shut / never would have
done it had not believed the archbish-
op was in it," Henry laughed and par
doned the culprit. His bitterest enemy
was the bishop of Meath. who accused
him to Henry of divers misdeeds and
closed his arreignment with, Thus, my
lliege you see that all Ireland cannot
govern tho earl "
"Then," said the perverse monarch,
"the earl shall rule all Ireland" and
INSTANTLY made him lord deputy because
his good humor equaled his valor
Elizabeth resembled her father in her
willingness to put mp with retorts from
saucy subjects and 70 pay them back in
kind, not always with the greatest re-
fnement. The little scene with the i'll
fated Earl of Essex, when she boxed his
ears for insolence and he laid his hand
on his sword, saying that he would not
take such treatment even from her ia
ther is familiar 10 every one.
Going back to still earlier dates, we
constantly find the imperious Plantag-
enet kings giving and receiving retorts
that bear witness Of great independence
among some of their powerful subjects.
1t was Edward who, on the refusal Of
the "Black Dog of Warwick" to join
the king with vassals and supplies for
iwa~-aid, "Sir Earl, you shall either go
or hang" The retort was, "Sir Rex,
will neither 60 nor hang"
Henry Nv of France was good natured
above most monarchs I'm repartee AS a
rule, it is impossible to reproduce in con-
ventional English dress the jests of this
wise and witty king. On one occasion
it was the turn of NJ d'Aubigno TO sleep
I'm tho kings antechamber Fancying
the monarch was asleep he began TO talk
to NJ. do la Force, who shared his watch,
saying, "Your master is the most un-
grateful OF men," La Force, half asleep,
asked him what he was talking about,
when Henry cried out; wake upl He
is telling you am the most ungrateful
iof men. "
pray 60 TO sleep, SIRE" interrupted
D'Aubigno "We have great deal more
to say about you. Henry never showed
less kindliness TO bis servant ON account
of what ne had overheard.
But the cynical generosity of Freder.
ick the Great is unique. A lackey who
owed him a grudge had determined TO
ipoison him. One morning be brought in
the kings chocolate and appeared visi-
bly, troubled in countenance. "What ails
you?" said Frederick, looking fxedly at
him. "You look as il you had put poi
son in my food. The wretch fell at his
feet and avowed his crime. "Get out Of
my sight, you scoundrell" said Freder-
ick and took no further notice of the
mans attempt to murder him.
A delicate compliment is work Of
far higher art than the most biting sar-
casm. Every one knows the story of the
poor creature who found himself seated
between Nine. Recamier and Mme. dc
Stael, and managed to offend them both
by saying that he sat between wit and
beauty, and was crushed by the retort
of Mnie de Stael that he possessed nei-
ther The court Of Louis XIV was the
school where this art was brought to
perfection. The flattery offered to the
king by the men of genius was at once
coarse and exquisite. Witness the inim-
itable reply of Mignard, who was paint
ling the kings portrait for the tenth
time, when Louis asked him, "Do look
older?"
II see few more oampaigss on the
brow Of your majesty"
One of Louis marshals, Bassompierre,
was great at repartee. He had spent ten
years in the Bastille, and on emerging
his majesty asked him his age. Fifty,
sire. " To tho surprised look of the king
the marshal added, ~ don't count tho
ten years | passed in the Bastille, because
| did not spend them in your majesty's
serviea. "-Pbiladelphia Telegraph.