The Progress., 1895-01-26
SPECIMENS Or WIT.
SOME HISTORIC flashes OF SION
TANE0US HUMOR.

Not Few European sovereisns Have
Been Fond of and Given to Repartee.
- Clever and Brutal Jests Passed Among
=, Enslishnen Of Long Ago.
Generally speaking, the strong have
refused toput upwith testing from the
weak. The Gar Nicholas, who mad
some INEQUALITIES, was hardened against
a meditaed actof clclncncy by the IN
dauuted spiritof a prisoner. Relief, a
man of letters had been implicated IN
the conspiracy of 1929 and sentenced to
be hanged He WAS launched from the
I fataIhddE when the rope broke aId
j he was thrown to the ground, severely
bruised but conscious. He picked him
self up and said quietly, "Ihoy can do
notbmgin Russia, not even tWlnc a cord
5 properly" 1t was customary i'll Russia
to pardon ne condemned after similar
dasee but on Relietf's words being re-
Q nrted to the car and his pleasure de-
l mauded he replied. "Proye him the con
!! Hary"
Henry VII, with all his violence and
tyranny, could bear with retort as we'll
wgive one, for he loved wit When it
was told him that tho pope had sent the
cardinal hat to Fisher, bishop of Roch-
ester, he said, He may have the hat,
but he shall have no head to wear it
WITH and the bishop was brought to
the block. On one occasion the turbu-
lent Earl of Kildare was brought before
the king, charged with setting fire to
the cathedral of Cashcl. Il own it, y
said the carl, 'but | never would have
done it had | not believed the archblsh-
op was in it," Henry laughed and par
doned the culprit Ills bitterest enemy
was the bishop of Meath, who accused
him to Henry Of divers misdeeds and
closed his arraignment with, "Thus, my
liege, you see that all Ireland cannot
govern the earl. -
''Then, !" said tho perverse monarch,
"the earl shall rule all Ireland and
instantly made him lord deputy because
his good humor equaled his valor.
Elizabeth resembled her father in her
Willingness to put up with retorts from
saucy subjects and to pay them back in
kind, not always with the greatest re-
finement. The little scene with the III
fated Earl Of Essex, when she boxed his
ears for insolence and he laid his hand
on his sword, saying that ne would not
take such treatment even from her ia,
Their, is familiar to every one.
Going back to still earlier dates, we
constantly find the imperlous Plantag
enet kings giving and receiving retorts
that bear witness of great independence
among some of their powerful subjects
It was Edward l who, on the refusal Of
the BLACK Dog Of Warwick to joir
the king with vassals and supplies fo1
war, said, "Sir Earl, you shall either g
or hang" The retort was, "Sir Rex,
will neither go nor hang.
Henry " of France was good naturet
above most monarchs in repartee. AS
rule, it is impossible to reproduce in con
ventional English dress the jests of thl
wise and witty king. On one occasion
it was the turn Of M. d'Aubigne to sleel
in the kings antechamber. FancyinI
the monarch was asleep, he began to tall
TO M. de la Force, who shared his watch
saving, Your master is the most I'm
grateful of men," La Force, half asleep
asked him what he was talking about
when Henry cried out: "Wake up! H
is telling you am the most ungratefu
of men,
"Pray 90 to sleep, SIRE" interrupte
D'Aubigne. eve have great deal NOR
to say about you" Henry never shove
less kindllness to his servant On accoul
Of what he had overheard, ..
But the cynical generosity Of Frede1
lex the Great is unique. A lackey VIII
owed him a grudge had determined t
poison him. One morning he brought i
the king chocolate and appeared Wis
bly, troubled in countenance. What al
your" said Frederick, looking fixedly
him. "You look as if you had put pc
son in my food" The wretch fell at b
feet and avowed his crime. "Get out
my sight, you scoundrel!' said Frede
ick and took no further notice Of Il
mans attempt to murder him. .
A delicate compliment is work
far higher art than the most biting sa
casm. Every one knows the story OF Il
Door creature who found himself seat
J between Mime. Recamier and Nine. I
/ Stael, and managed to offend them DO
I by saying that he sat between wit al
. beauty, and was crushed by the retc
of Nine. de Stael that he possessed NJ
Their. The court Of Louis XIV was
@ school where this art was brought
0 perfection. The fattery offered to t
t king by the men Of genius was at on
$ coarse and exquisite. Witness the inl1
t liable reply Of Mignard, who was pail
j. ing the kings portrait for the ten
time when Louis asked him, "Do l 10
older?'
Il sec a few more campaigns on
o brow Of your majesty.
One of Louis marshals, Bassompler
was great at repartee. He had spent
years in the Bastille, and on emerge
= his majesty asked him his age. FIT
:. SIRE To the surprised look OF the kl
d the marshal added, II don't count