Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1895-04-25

tered my head that l should write q |
book OF etiquette. 1t has been my |
doubtful fortune to read a number Of |
them, and came to the conclusion, as
they invariably contradicted each other, |
that good manners are the result of |
kindness and sympathy. That so-called |
social laws differed in every city, and |
that the women who were counted as
social leaders made laws for themselves
i had no intention of starting an San
sweIs TO Correspondence bureau; but
II has been forced upon me. | regard
1t as greatness, but as greatness that is
not to be longed for, inasmuch as, when
you tell somebody that a certain rule
exists where you live, you are at once
contradicted by somebody else, who
says that they don't do it that way in
Philadelphia or Kalamazoo, in Boston,
or st. 10. Now, it is to be understood
In answering these most interrogatory
."letters" that an telling what they do
In New York.
A CURIOUS SOCIAL LETTER,
The thing that troubles women mostis
the simplest function in the world-the
!, afternoon tea. She VINO is invited
wants to know if she must send an an
swer. To this l most certainly say, no.
Her appearance is enough; but, if she
doesn't go, and is a married woman, she
sends, by post, in card envelope ad.
dressed to her hostess, one of her own
and two of her husbands cards. Ii she
goes, she leaves the same number of
cards, and she makes no after call. If
she is asked to dinner, her note of ac-
ceptance or regret must be written ut
once, and she will certainly never be
asked again If she sends such note as
this, which was received by a we'll
known woman:
Mrs. Norfolk Howard regrets that | can
not accept your kind invitation, but my
husband has made an engagement for me.
and it when he comes home he can break
it, then Mrs. Norfolk Howard will be very
glad indeed to come. Yours truly,
Mrs. ALICE NORFOLK HOWARD.
Shades of grammar, defend the writer
of thisl You, who asked me about sig
natures, must know that there are no
circumstances thet permit the prefiXing
of your title to your name. Business
and formal notes are written in the
third person. All other notes are signed,
"Mary Edwards Brown" And if Mrs.
Brown fears that the person getting this
letter will not know her title, she writes
in parenthesis, in the lower right-hand
corner, "Mrs. James Brown"
To return to the tea. The wise hostess
. has her tea table in the most convenient
room, possibly the music, possibly the
dining-room. If in the dining-room, the
table is larger than in any other. If
she should elect it to be in the drawing
room, it Is small table having upon it a
white cover made elaborate with en-.
broidery and drawn work; then the
brass tea kettle with its alcohol lamp
under it, the teapot, the tea caddy, an
array Of cups and saucers, platter OF
waters or tiny sandwiches, and pile OF
napkins. There is wisdom in inviting 4
friend to serve the tea, and neat maid
wearing apron and cap, should BE-
trained to quietly remove cups tina
have been used and replenish the tel
table with fresh ones.
When table is spread in the dining
room, more elaborate meal is offered
By-the-by,
NEVER USE THE WORD "REFREsH
. MENTs." -..
it is intensely vulgar. Here there may
be tea served at one end and chocolate
at the other. Cut-glass dishes may b.
filled with strawberries, for which pow
dered sugar and whipped cream ar
offered as adjuncts, while sandwiches
tiny cakes and very small biscuit spill
and buttered while they are hot, ar
counted good form. From o'clock on
people may drift in and out to In
dining room as they please. In Londor
they say, 1t is only Americans who ghak
hands. Here, that rather embarrassin
fashion, is limited to the greeting of th
hostess, while simple bow is cousIdere
sufficient for new acquaintance, and
old one gets bow, smile and fe'
words. Those hideous jars advertise
by the big shops as "cracker jars an
meant to hold small biscuits, and not,
might be supposed, fiery traes, suite
for what small Quaker boy calle
"the Fourth day of Seventh month" ii
no longer seen in good houses, for the
are too suggestive TO the pantry, or u
grocers. Ii you are asked to dinner, VIC
pay your hostess the compliment
dressing in your most beautiful Cow
and wearing your richest jewels. YC
cannot overdress for dinner, for yol
appearance is always compliment
your hostess. Even at the most inform
dinner, the host heads the procession
the dining room, taking with him til
lady vino is of the most importanc
while the hostess comes last on the ar
of the man of most importance, wi
sits on her right, as does the lady {
corted by her husband on his right. III
question of being seated and the lcavi!
the table can be made easy by watchil
the hostess, who suggests by a look
each lady, where she wishes her TO 8
while her husband acts in the sal
"' manner toward the men. Here
after-dinner call should be made with
ten days, although it is not consider
necessary in London.
HOW TO TREAT STRANGERS.
As nation we are 800 prone to ma
presentations where they arc not
sired, and 10 give letters Of INTRODUCED
to acquaintances of recent date
woman of the world will consider W
VI before she vouches socially for one, Il
then, when she does, her friends real
that she means all she says, and that :
" wishes them to show courtesy to
n stranger who comes in her name.
I, England, u letter Of Introduction is
u, once met by dinner invitation, and
this reason, funnily enough, wi
American called his numerous lett
"soup tickets" The next letter is alb,
cards. The received card ion ladies
quite thin, pure white, not as large
before, and with the name, address d
X sat home" day engraved in ordini
script. There IS no excuse for a writ
card, nor for, horror or horrors b
one with rose, painted by hand, in
corner A young woman who era,
ated with high LonOrs at Il weli.kno
,atI,tr, ,uby, p.o,l IT,I,r,,r -. -, :,