davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03
POETRY
THE CHHDREN'S ROOM.

How peaceful at night
The sleeping children lie,
Each gentle breath so light
Escaping like a sigh
How tranquil seems the room and fair
TO one who softly enters there!
Whose hands are those, unseen,
That smooth each little bed +?
Whose locks are those that lean
Over each pillowed head?
Whose lips caress the boys and girls
Whose fingers stroke the golden curls ?
Whose are the yearning eyes,
And whose the trembling tearp
Whose heart is this that cries,
Beseeching God to hear
Whose but the mothers, in whose face
Love shows its sweetest dwelling-place 2
Her hopes in beauty bloom.
And heayen sends down it's light,
Which fingers in the room
When mother says Goodnight. "
SOFTLY treading by the sleepers there,
Her very presence seems a PRAYER
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03

ON BROADWAY.-A man who
stood in front of Broadway hote,
saw two newsboys pick up a wo.
mans pocketbook on the sidewalk
TWO women were walking together
few feet away, and one Of then
had just raised her parasol.
He stepped quickly forward, Iiftet
his hat and asked the ladies' pardon
but did either OF them drop a pock
etbook? The taller one swished
her skirts, puckered her lips and
said, in an icy manner: "We both
have our pocket books, thank you.'
The two swept airily up the street
and the young man returned to his
place with the feelings that a man
has when some one sits on his new
hat.
A moment later the two women
came tripping back, with anxiety
In their countenapces.
~ did lose my pocketbook,n said
the taller one, "and / am ever so
glad you found it,"
"1 didn't find it, MADAME said
the man, with don't-pity-you air.
u merely saw two newsboys pick
ing 1t up and now they are gone"
Why didn't you get il away
from them ?" she asked, sharply.
The man flushed and stammered.
ana the woman eyed him suspicious
ly, as if she felt certain that he had
1t. A crowd was gathering and gap
ing.
" Never mind, Grace" said the
snort woman, there was nothing
IN 1T but two postage stamps and a
stick of gum"
Then the two with a withering
glance departed.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03

A PARSONS FIRST KIss.-The
lev. John Brown, of Haddington,
The author Of the "Self Interpret.
ing Bible," was a man of singular
bashfulness. His courtship lasted
seven years. Six and half years
had passed away and the reverend
gentleman had got no further than
he had been In the first six days. A
step In advance must been made.
and Mr.. Brown summoned all his
courage for the deed. "Jeanet, ,,
said he one day as they sat in solemn
silence, we've been acquainted now
ak years and mair and I've ne,er
got kiss yet. Dye think 1 might
take one, my bonnie lass ?" "Just
as you like. John only be becomin,
and proper wiz it." "Surely, Janet :
we'll ask blessing.o The blessing
was asked, the kiss was taken and
the worthy divine, overpowered
with blissful sensation, most raptur-
ously exclaimed; "Heigh, lass,
but Its guide Well return thanks p'
Six months later the pious couple
we're made one flesh.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03

SO this is where the House sits,n
said man, who was going through
the House Of Representatives for the
hrst time. Yes. You ought to
take of your hat when you come in
here," was the reply. "Take of
my hat! What for ?" "Out of
respect to our members and the great
work they are doing" What
great work did they do last session ?"
" Why-er. Why, they adjourned" :"
$50 they did," said the traveller,
uncovering his head, $50 they did,
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03

AT THE REVIVAL MEETING
Stranger-"I should like to say q
few words tonight" Leader" I
don't know; have you had a career
of crime, been a drunkard, or any.
thing of that sort?" "No, indeed !;
can truly say have led a correct
life" All very well, no doubt !;
but the people won't care to listen
to you. You'd better stay, however
and hear Bruiserboy, the reformed
pugilist, and Mole, the saved sneak
thief. Both of 'em are rattlers.n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03

THREADBARE GENIUS RE.
WARDED.-A mouldy looking way.
tarer knocked at the back door of an
humble dwelling in the suburbs the
other morning, and inquired of the
woman who answered the knock:
Do you want your piano tuned
to-day, ma'am?"
Land sakes !" she replied. We
haven't any piano."
Perhaps the frescoing in YOUR
parlor needs touching up little, "
he suggested.
"There amt any frescoing in the
parlor."
A look of deep melancholy set
tied on the face of the tourist.
Il am very sorry" he said. "By
doing this kind of work for our best
people / make my living. I was
hoping / might be able by the exer-
else of one of my callings in your
tasty cottage to earn my breakfast--n
Lord love you, come right in ~
cordially exclaimed the woman,
opening the door wide.
" You're greasy fraud and know
it; but you've got talent, and 1 ad-
mire talent wherever 1 meet it,
How'll you have your eggs-hard or
soft boiled ?n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03

HER WEDDING Young
Mr.. Smithers, having eaten an ex
cellent dinner, sat down to smoke q
good cigar while his wife ran up,
stairs to make her toilet for the thea
ter.
So peaceful was his state of mind
that he did not even look accusingly
at his watch, when, after the prom.
ised minute" had developed into
sixty, she entered the room.
"Seems to me that you are look.
ing very nice tonight, my dear, u
he remarked.
am so glad you think so, dar-
ling. OF course I care more for
your admiration than that of any
one else. Besides the Skinners sit
right behind us this evening, and
this dress will give her a bad head
ache before the second act Is over"
Mr.. Smithers looked anxious
" SO that Is new, Is it? Wasn't the
old one good enough ?"
"N-not quite, dear. Besides I
earned the money for this one my
self"
But how did you earn
"Oh, after you left l fell to think.
ing what lot Of money S25 was to
spend on wedding present for Ma
rie when l needed so many things.
Then an idea struck me. 1 remem-
bered all those pretty things 1 found
in your big trunk after we were
married-the ones that horrid girl,
whoever she was, sent back when
the engagement was broken. Iwould
not have one of them myself, but II
seemed pity for them to lie there,
so went upstairs and looked them
them all over. Iselected that lovely
silver backed mirror and cleaned It
up until 1t looked just like new, and
and then L"
"Sold 1t to buy the dress I see y,
Nothing of the kind. 1 bought
the dress with the money you gave
me. The mirror 1 sent Marie with
our best wishes. Won't she be sur
prised, and-why, Freddy, are you
ill?"
"Not at all my dear! You are
quite right. Marie will no doubt be
much surprised, for, you see, she
herself was the girl who returned
those presents; that's ALI"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03

DocToR, kin yez prescribe fer q
sick feller fer nothin' ?D .....I
" WHAT'S the matter with you ?"
Indigestion"
"Overeating ?n .
Nav, nothin' in me stumick to
digest 10 a'---o--'
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03

MAN.-Man is an omniverous anil
NAL.
Some smart people call him a BIZ
ped, but that is geological error.
He is just plain, everyday, two
legged animal.
He roams at will, feeds in the day
time and sleeps at night some
nights.
He is very tame.
You can go and put your hand on
him anywhere, so long as you don'i
put 1t on his pocketbook. He has
under such conditions, been known
to kick.
Like the elephant, he has a trunk
cut doesn't always carry it with him
AS to what man is really goot
for, anthropology Is still in the dark
Being strong, he used to draw pic
lures, carry news and pull reyolvers
Properly trained, man can jumI
higher than any other known ami
NAL. He has been known to jumI
mountain resort board bills.
Although IN many respects mar
is like other animals. in this respect
he is different from them all-he
lies standing up.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03
A TOO CONFIDENT COUNSEL.

TOO CONFIDENT COUNSEL.
1 once had a case, said member
OF the bar, against a man in the
country, which was as clear as day.
light In my favor, but, by the cum
ming of his lawyer, he had continued
to avoid coming to trial for about
two years. At last the case was
called, late In the term and late in a
hot day, the court and jury tired and
impatient. stated the facts, pro.
duced the evidence, which was all
on my side; the Judge asked the
the counsel whether they wished to
argue the case, stating that he hardly
thought 1t necessary In so plain a
matter. The lawyers agreed to sub
NIT 1t without argument the Jury
went out, and Immediately returned
with verdict for the defendant.
AS soon as the court adjourned, I
sought the foreman Of the Jury, and
asked him how, In the name of COM
mon-sense, they came to render a
verdict for the defendant.
Why, you see," said he, 1--WE
didn't think much Of the lawyer
against you, and It wasn't strange he
didn't have nothin to say; but, squire,
the fact is we thought you was about
one Of the smartest lawyers in the
country, and If you couId't find moth
Ing to say on your side, 1t must be a
pretty hard csse, 80 we had to 90
against your"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03
AN AUTHORITY QUOTED AGAINST
HIMSELF.

Dan Wilson was once trying case
before a Missouri justice of, peace,
wnen the opposing counsel cited
" Greenleaf on Evidence' SO decid-
edly against him that q bold push
must be made. Wilson asked him
for the book, opened it, rose, and.
with look of solemn surprise, said
he was amazed that so good a law.
yer should bring such book as that
into court. Why" said he, 1.-THE
the author himself never thought of
Its being used for authority I'm auy
case. Just hear what he says In the
preface: Doubtless q happier Sc
lection Of these principles might be
made, andithey might have been bet.
ter executed by another hand. For,
now IL Is finished, I find 1t hut AN
approximation towards what was
originally desired. But in the hope
that II may still be found not useless
a. the germ of a better treatise, 1t Is
submitted to the candor Of liberal
profession Now" continued Will
son, an author who admits that
his work is as bad as this, certainly
never expected 1t to be brought into
court to govern the opinions of q
gentleman who sat on the bench, as
your Honor has for eighteen months. >
The Justice was perfectly satisfied.
lie ruled the authority" az of no
account whatever, and gave his judg-
ment Tor Wilson and his client.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03

EXCUSE me, SIR" said the thir
passenger with the sandy white whis
kers, but judge from your con.
versation that you are Sandow, the
Human Hercules ?"
Yes, sir, that's who l am" said
the strong man, proudly.
" You can lift ten tons in harness p,
" Yes, sir; that's my record"
You can hold five hundred
weight at arms length ?"
Yes, SIR"
And put up nine hundred pounds
with one arm ?"
Yes, SIR"
"And eighteen hundred weight
with two ?"
Yes, sir"
well. then, would you kindly
raise this car window for me? It's
stuck little"
You'll excuse me, sir" said the
strong man stiffly, "but my mana.
ger makes all arrangements for my
tests Of strength and endurance ;
and besides," and 1t was noticed
that the modern Sampson was i'll al
ease, "l'm not In training"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03

"YEs," said Cholly Lonsom,
proudly, as the group of listeners
clustered around him, eyes, saved
the lady's life. She had fallen from
the pier, and the watah was dashing
awound her. Powerless to help her
self, she was sinking for the third
time, when I ran to to the spot"
!" Yes, yes, what did you do ?"-
said the breathless listeners.
81 shwieked for help and it came. I"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03

Pm In peck of trouble. -
" WHAT'S the matter ?" Why-er
you know, I have been paving
some attention to old Stokanland's
daughter. I've got an invitation to
poker with him tonight, and don't
know whether he'll get mad If beat
him, or think 1 have no business ca
pacity If let him beat me.n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03
ONE day Solomon and a fool were

ONE day Solomon and fool were
walking together.
Solomon" said the fool, "why
Is 1t you never talk ?n
" Fool" said Solomon, "that /
may listen to other peoples wisdom. -
And then after a pause, "but why
Is it that you always talk ?"
"That other people," quoth the
fool, may listen to my wisdom"
Whereat Solomon held his tongue
and went home thoughtfully.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03

MY face is my fortune, sir, she
said.
Er--excuse me, madam but you
can't really mean 1t, rejoined the as
tonished male.
Certainly. Pm the lady with the
iron jaw In the dime museum.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03

The CIRCULAR SAw.-A CORES
pondent states that the circular saw
was first invented in America by a
comb-maker hamed Hartshorn, who
used common hand-saw to saw out
the horn between the teeth, thus
forming one of those old fashioned
horn combs.
Finally, thinking it rather a slow
process, he took what used to be
called a Bungtown "copper"" fled
1t down thinner, drilled u hole through
Its center, then squared the hole and
then cut the teeth around it's outer
edge, placed it upon a mandrel, true
and permanent, then put it into his
lathe, and with the fiat horn lying
upon a wooden rest he sawed out his
combs.
From the copper he shortly cut I'D
his backsaw and converted it into
circular saws. This man, Hartshorn
lived and died In Mansfield, Conn.,
He also invented the screw and lin
auger, also tho bits, such are used in
the brace. He was asked why he
did not put In his claim for compcn-
sation long afterward, when We had
patent Office.
His reply was that if he had done
anything that was a benefit to his
fellow men they were welcome to it
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..
Three Court Stories.

AN INVENTORS CLEVER ANSWER.
Harvey Waters, the inventor and
mechanical expert, once distin-
guished himself by a particularly
skillful answer to lawyer who was
ross-examining him. Ross Winans
had taken out a patent on a truck
car-that is, passenger-car mounted
on two trucks, instead of having the
axles running in boxes fixed to the
car, as is still the custom in Europe.
The validity of the patent was at
tackled, and Harvey Waters was
called as an expert, in Mr.. Winans'
interest. Mr.. William Whiting, the
counsel for the opposite party, 4 showed
that 1t had been. usual to transport
long pieces of merchandise, as we'll
as tree trunks and lum Der, on two
small four-wheeled cars, to which
the ends of the long thing were
lashed, and he tried to make Mr.. Wa
ters acknowledge that a passenger
car on two trucks was really the same
thing as big log lashed upon two
small four-wheeled cars. Mr.. Waters
could not be brought to the admis-
sion, and, after a multitude of sharp
questions, the lawyer said:
Will you please tell the court,
Mr.. Waters, wherein consists the diff.
ference between log lashed on two
four-wheeled cars and a passenger
car riding on two trucks ?"
The venerable expert thought for
moment, and then running his fin-
gers through his snow-white hair,
he answered:
"Mr. Whiting, a log lashed to
two trucks Is no more a passenger
car on two trucks, than two men
carrying log between them on their
shoulders are quadruped."
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03
VALUABLE FARM FOR SALE.

TWO miles east of Falling Spring,
Il Greenbrier county, w. Va, l4O
acres, with dwelling and out buildings,
nearly all level. Over 100 hundred acres
cleared, In good state of cultivating,
adapted 30 farming and grazing. Close
to churches, school, mill and postoffice.
Good fruit and water. For further in.
formation call on or address James H.,
VIM. N: or s. f. MYLEs, Failing
spring, w. Va. April lift.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03

THE little boy had come I'm with
his clothes torn, his hair full of dust
and his face bearing unmistakable
marks of a severe conflict. "Oh,
Williel Willien exclaimed his
mother, "you have disobeyed me
again. How often have 1 told you
not to play with that wicked Staple
ford boy J" Mamma" said vii.
lie, "do look as If had been play.
Ing with anybody ?o
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03

ANOTHER illustration of how chill
dren seize the sound of words oc-
Cured when a seven-year-old girl
was asked to tell about her Sunday
School lesson last Sabbath. She re-
piled /" II was In the Psalms where
1t said something about running his
cup over, and at the end said, good.
ness, gracious sakes alive.'" This
Is certainly new version of the 23d
Psalm.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03

WABAsH-"I was sorry to hear
Of your divorce, old man. Couldn't
you live happily together
Van Buren," Oh, yes, happily
enough; matrimony was too expen-
sive. You see, am trying to save
enough money to buy q bicycle.n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03

THINGS Is gettin' mighty mixed
Mandy" said Farmer Corntossel;
" mighty mxed." Whut's the mat
ter ?" The politicians air all try
in to tell the farmers about far min
an the farmers air tryin' ter tell the
politicians about politics.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03
HE fdnrine q terrihla famiIu io-,

He (during terrible family jar)
. don't believe you married me
for anything but my money"
She" Huh! All the money on
earth wouldn't have tempted me to
marry such thing as you"
He" Eth? Then why did you
marry me?" o... :
She" To keep that stuck-up Miss
Pert from getting you.n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03

HE STOPPED SMoKING.-A small
crowd of people was standing in
front of one of the big show win
dows on Main Street on Saturday
night, says the Buffalo Express. A
good many well-dressed women were
there. Well in the center of the
throng was the inevitable man who
thinks his own rights and privileges
are superior to those of everybody
else. He was putting cheap cigar,
and blowing smoke into the faces OF
the women who stood near him.
Finally a mild-looking young fellow
expostulated with him.
Your cigar is very offensive tc
these ladies, sir" he said.
"Then let the ladies get out of the
way" answered the fresh youth.
The other remained silent for 6
minute, and then, az the nuisance
continued, he said, In q more deter.
mined tone, "My friend, will you OF
will you not stop Smoking that cigar
while you are in this crowd?" =
81 WON'T" answered the fresh
young man, with an impudent leer.
81 think you WILL" replied the
other, and, as he spoke, he swung
the palm of broad, muscular hand
in front Of the fresh young mans
face. The big palm struck. not the
man but his cigar, and the next
minute the fresh youth was cough.
ing and splitting and going through a
system of improvised gymnastics to
get that cigar out of his throat, where
the big palm had driven it. And
when he had coughed 1t up, he walked
right out of the crowd as fast as he
could, and did not make even a sin.
gle bluff about its being necessary
for some one to apologize or fight.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03

WE'LL" said the dear girl, with
sigh, "Im very glad for your sake,
papa, that 1t happened so." "What
do you mean ?' asked the old gentle
man. "The fact that Lent and hard
times came so close together
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03
ATTENTION, EVERYBODY.

WE are now prepared to do TIN
:" WORK of all kinds. Nothing
put hrst-class meterial used. Satisfac.
tion guaranteed. Give us a trial and
be convinced that we mean what we
say. ROOFING and SCOUTING a
speciality. Shop in the rear of Law &
Handley's.
MCCLEARY & DARNELL.
Aug. 25-ly. Lewisburg, w. Va.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03

Mrs. MCBRIDE (entering the
kitchen)--- Bridget, didn't / see
that policeman kiss you?o Bridget
-" Well, mum, sure and yez would
not hev me lay mesilf opin to artist
for resfstin' an officer, mum ?n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03

HARRY: "Now look at me as If
you thought I were the only man in
the world"
Maud: "My face Is incapable of
expressing such deep grief"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03
HARNRssi HARNESS,

DUT up on short notice. Of good goods
II and warranted. Repairing q spe-
cialty. w. z. WINALL,
In rear of Lewisburg P. o.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03

"ToMMY, the doctors Is sayin' that
kissin, Is apt to breed sickness 10
~ know. But we men have to
take risks In everythingp
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03


He APoLoGIzED.-It isn't always
safe to swear at a bicyclist who is
responsible for collision.
A member of we'll known ath-
letic club riding along at an easy
pace was overtaken by another wheel
which didn't turn out in time, a rear
end collision was the result.
When the clubman recovered from
the shock he found himself lying on
his back with the baggy knee of q
pair of trousers across his face.
Furious at the stupidity of the
other rider, he struggled to get up
shouting:
Why the devil do you ride like
that ?"
go, dear! o, dear Z" said a plain
tive voice. CT didn't mean to. I
am all tangled up"
"Oh, Lord; a girl" groaned the
young man. "And I went and
swore at her," and his contrition in
creased when he picked himself up
and saw gazing up at him from
around the wreckage a very pretty
face flushed with modification.
Lifting the owner to her feet, the
young man tried to apologize.
Awfully sorry. / thought it
was some idiot of man that had
run into me. That is-er-er-I don't
mean you're an idiot, you know; If
I'd known that you were wouldn't
have sworn at you. No; no, don't
mean that, either. Pm little rat
tied, you see, but 1 thought it was a
man when saw your trousers
That is, l thought your-er-garments
were trousers on man, you know.
If I'd known you wore bloom ers--
that Is, If I'd known those trousers
were bloomers-I mean if I'd known
1t was a girl who wore trousers 0,
confounditall apologize" and the
youth mounted and sped away so
madly that he narrowly escaped
wrecking street car, leaving the
girl redder than before.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-10-03

A BAPTIST JOKE" think
we will give you a CALL" said a well
known Lewiston Baptist to Rev.
Mats. Hughes, the Portland Metho-
dist divine, who preached at the Bap-
tist Church in Lewiston recently
" WE'LL" aaid Mr.. Hughes, with a
twinkle in his eye, perhaps that
wouldn't be 80 bad. My wife is a
Baptist. I call her Moses sometimes i.
I" "Why?" "Oh, because pulled her
ont Of the water, you kuow."