The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1895-11-29
A LEARNED TURKEY,

The oatfields were cropped bare as a
conyict's head. The corn was in the
shock and there was touch Of winter
in the winds which blew over the hill
pasture. The months had gone by since
the thoughtful turkey had been brought
in squawking from the lane He had
grown large and portly and carried him
self with dignity Fortune, which had
appeared to him in the guise of Hilda,
had been very kind to him. He had
been permitted to share the lawn with
an aged peacock of great personal beau
ty, from whom he had learned gentle
manners and department. He had dined
daily at the kitchen door. In the even
ings he had stood near the doorstep,
where Hilda and John-John was the
farm servant-sat and talked. Their
conversation was not instructive. They
talked chiefly about themselves and a
cottage and love and other foolish top
les, but il afforded the turkey food for
thought. He would stand somberly on
one leg as the shadows deepened and
the stars came out and watch the work
ing of their minds.
1T is plain, !" he said one evening,
THAT they are thoughtlessly optimis-
tic. 4"
He was watching them closely. john
had taken one of Hilda's red hands in
his brown hand and was looking par
ticularly and fatuously happy.
when the corn's in, Hilda, John
was saying, "I'll ask the old man if we
can have the little wooden house.
He be only too glad, said Hilda.
- ~ guess he's expecting it, said John.
It'll be big enough for us, said
Hilda.
For the present." said John, and
looked so particularly, foolishly happy
that the turkey turned away in disgust.
He strolled across the lawn in deep
Thought Like all those who are solitary
or have the society only of interiors, he
had fallen into the habit of talking to
himself.
at is evident" he said, speaking his
thoughts aloud, that these two people
will marry. They will move into the
little wooden house. They will live
there. They are such poor, dull crea-
lures they will not even know they are
unhappy. They will have children and
in their fatuous way be happier still.
Poor things 1t is bad enough to be I'M
happy and know it, How much worse
is the state Of those who are unhappy
and think they are happy Poor things"
He stood on one leg and thought.
The moonlight streamed down and
made silhouette of him in black shad-
ow on the whitening lawn. He stood
there for an hour, immovable; only his
brain kept turning, turning and evolv-
ing thoughts.
1T is really very ridiculous" he
said. "but l can't think of any way of
putting an end TO this wretched state of
affairs. l am not at my best tonight. +"
"What seems to be the matter?" asked
the peacock, who came up, trailing a
yard of rainbow plumage behind him.
Il am thinking" said the turkey
rather disdainfully. 'It is All operation
which willn not interest you, my friend. "
"Ah, perhaps not, " said the peacock.
what were you thinking about? And
why were You doing it?"
Il was thinking" the turkey replied,
for he was always willing to talk. 81
was thinking, or, to be more accurate,
was trying to think of some way OF
stopping this silly habit people have Of
coming into the world, eating and 60
ing out of the world again, leaving be-
hind certain number of UNDERSTANDS
to use a phrase taken from the slang
of the theater-to repeat the ridiculous
operation.
$50 you've begun to think about that,
have youi" said the peacock, laughing.
well, should think you would. p"
What are you laughing att" the
thoughtful turkey asked sharply.
"Oh, nothing, said the peacock: "of
course you re interested in the question.
I'm not, you see. F"
well, / don't see "
"You don't see? Well, you re partic.
ularly slow witted, even for turkey,
said the peacock.
Perhaps you'll explain, the turkey
rejoined sarcastically.
Certainly" said the peacock, "why
not?'
go on, said the turkey.
well, they come into the world
don't they?''
They do, said the thoughtful tur
key, Though I've never yet thought x
think where they come from. I'll do il
tomorrow. Go on-people come into the
world. "
what do they do?" asked the pea
cock, with growing triumph.
What do they do2 Eat" said tn,
philosophical turkey
Eat what?"
"Oh, all sorts Of
"Youi" screamed the peacock in ,
burst of triumph, you They eat you
They pick your bones. They suck th,
marrow out of your thigh bones. Som'
of 'em prefer white meat, and some o