Pawtucket tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 1890-189?, 1895-06-18
A BAD MEMORY.


was "born so;" anyhow suffered n good
deal at school In tho process OF learning
the dates Of our soyereigns since the con-
quest. Even now have 10 think deeply
before can remember my own date. ~
To my wifes birthday--wcll, 1 don't pro
tend to guess that within six months.
My friends have often advised mo TO
study an artificial memory system. i ala
try one or rather tried TO try It, bought
handbook, and by way Of making good
start forgot TO pay for IT, Then forgot TO
read IL, and when my wife logged my
memory couldn't for tho life OF me re-
member where had left the beastly thing.
So that system was IA failure and never
had the heart 10 try another. y
OF course IL IL quite useless TO trust me-
with letters for the post. have patiently
carried important missiycs In my pockets
for weeks together and been heartily
abused for my pains AS rule, no ono
dreams Of asking mo to do shopping
commission, but one day, my better half
being laid up with "a spraincd ankle, was
sent into our town 10 get a stock OF house,
hold necessaries. 1 was provided with
three similar lists In case / lost or mislaid
come out Of the ordeal with dting colors
Just as was starting my wife sent out
final message by the servant, and as
was too lazy TO pull out all the lists and
make three notes Of IL l tied a knot in my
handkerchief and forgot all about 1t. |.
got through my list OF purchases brave
ly, then suddenly encountered the mne-
monic knot. Did / remember what 1t
meant? Not bit. / hadn't the faintest
idea. At first was rather amused, then
grew angry and registered a mental oath
that wouldn't 90 home without execut-.
ing that mysterious commission.
l returned to the George where my
horse was put up, and smoked pipe TO
sharpen my wits. 1t was no use, so walk,
ed out and stared into all the shop win
dows, If haply the "thing" might meet
my eye and enlighten my understanding.
That plan failed.
I returned to the George and thought
| over the letters Of the alphabet, coming
at last to the conclusion that the article
began with NJ That was the nearest
could get to it.
Then Jones came into the smoking room.
"Jones," 1 said, "you know what an aw-
| ful memory have. Well, my wife asked
| me to get her something, and can't re-
member what it was, but believe 1t be-
| gins with NJ. wish you'd suggest some
| thing"
Money" said Jones promptly.
"No; it wasn't that today, for won
| der"
Then Jones waxed facetious and wrote
| me out a list of M's-macfIine guns, met
ronomes, mangles, matrimonial news, me-
| chanical monkeys and so on. I left him
chuckling over his own idiotic feebleness.
"It wasn't megatherium, was it?" he
inquired as parting shot.
| "No," said l. "nor meddlesome mag
pie"
| He had riled me rather; but, after all,
he had given me hint. I was pretty sure
of the M, and by consulting price list l
might arrive at "a solution of my enigma.
was prepared to swear that the "some-
thing was neither medicine nor music
nor millinery, nor mullins Qncluding all
sorts of pastry, nor melons, as typical of
| green stuff, so that my inquiries seemed
limited to groceries, hardware and butch
| er's meat.
/ wasn't quite certain about the last
| item, so l went to our shop and feebly ask
ed the butcher If he thought wanted any
meat expect he thought I was certainly
formed me that he had sent us out a Joint
that morning. So 1 thanked him and re-
tired hastily.
Then procured an ironmonger's cata-
logue and studied it in vain. There was
nothing at all feasible under an" AS a
last resource, returned to the grocer S,
| where had already made extensive pur-
chases, and asked to see his price list.
| Even then couldn't spot the thing, but
on the off chance Of making lucky shot
invested heavily in macaroni mustard,
matches, marmalade, picked mushrooms
and timed milk. Then cudgeled my
brains till felt quite stupid and finally
gave it up as bad job. drove home in
disgust with enough parcels of food to
victual polar expedition.
| "Nellie," said the moment I got in
doors, "you sent me q message just as l
was starting"-
Eyes, and didn't you"-
| "Stop a momentl Didn't it begin with
mp"
"More or less"
| "Therel knew it did. But I'm very
sorry, dear, couldn't remember what it
was. / sat in the George nearly two
hours trying to think OF IT."
| "Then out Of the house you go this in
stantl particularly told you not to go
near the place, as they'd had case Of
measles there"
| 1t all came back to me in a moment,
that was her parting Injunction She
turned me out into the garden-I felt too
| crushed to resist-and insisted on my
standing in the filthy smoke of bonfire
till she thought was sufficiently disin-
fected. wasn't allowed to kiss the chill
| dren for a week.
Catch me going on any more errandsl-
| New Budget.