Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1895-10-23
LESSONS IN FINANCE.
One Of Petroleum v. Nasby's Brightest
Contributions.

inR ietter lron reUrOleum V. NaSbY or
the silver question. which shows, in
connection with recent events, thai
public opinion in Kentucky has beer
greatly enlightened since the year OF
grace, 1868:
Confedrit X Roads Which is in the
state of Kentucky January 90, 1873
| ain t 80 certain that want the silver
bill to pass ez wuz. The fact Is, the
thing don't work es I sposed it wood,
and an t clear onto it. There is suttle
principles in these financial questions
which requires great deel Nv thought,
and there is underlying principles wich
a map has got to understand afore he
is competent to set hisself up ez author.
ity.
One thing am certain NV. Our sa.
loonkeeper, Bascom, ism tho finanseer,
nor never will be, and told him so.
What is financeerT asked he
"a financeer," sed I, assooming the
look of panl Webster, 'is a man wich
kin pay his debts with nothin-a mar
wich can git sutbin with nothin."
"The Corners, then, is full of finan
seers," he remarkt, bitterly oastin a
casual glance at his slate, which wuz
jist full enuff to turn over and begin
on the tother side.
But he hezn't any Nv the science Nv
1t. wuz argooing with him the other
day in favor Nv my noshun Nv a ether
currency tho l told him silver was
the thing, and, for example, would
assoom that silver wuz to be the cur.
rency Nv the fucher.
Now, don't yoo see, Rascom, that
eff he'd twict ez much money Good
drink twict ez much whisky, and pay
for is1"
"How much is twice nothinY" wuz
the unfeelin answer Nv tyrant who
holds the destines Nv the Congress in
his hands. That's wot yoor oapitle
hez been ever sence knowed yer"
"Parson," sed he, II don t see what
earthly difference it's goin' to make
whether silver is currency or anything
else. How are you agoin to git silver
ef 1t is made legal tenderp Eff silver
waz ez plenty ez bricks, wat hev you
got to git any Nv it WITH"
Tru g. W." wuz my anser; "but
can't yu see that to hev silver wood
relieve the dettor classp Even now
afore it is legal tender, it's only worth
90 cents on the dollar, and when the
country is floodid with it, it will go
still loer. Then we-or rather sich Nv
US hev property to raise money on-kin
pay Off
"Eggsactly so, retorts Bacon; you
kin pay me for the good honist liker
Nv mine, which you hev cosoomed in
coin which is less than the dollar yu
promised All rite. But look here
come in here al Nv yu, l want yu sill
yer men to know exactly wat you are
rushin' into.
An ! this feend led us into the back
room-that back room which contains
the subsistence Nv the corners. There,
in long rows, wuz Bascom's stock.
There, in barrils, piled one on top NV
another wuz the delshus whisky Loois-
vile, US different ages, rangin' from
that us two weeks old to that which
he'd jist left the still and was scarcely
cold yit. There it lay, and ez my eye
ranged effekshunately over it, felt eff
/ Good hev the drinkin' Nv all that lik
ker wood be content to lay down and
die when the last drop was gone.
Bascom pfnted to an immense tank
witch he had erected, within a few
days with pipe running in from the
roof.
u shan't raise the price Nv likker in
conscience Nv bein paid for it in de-
preshiatid currency" said he.
fel on Bascom' mex in an extacy NV
delite, while the others should; "Rah
for Bascom."
"G. W." remarked, while teers suf-
foosed my eyes, ~ never placed 700
much below the angels, but the gen.
erous act has histid yu hundred per
cent in my estimashun. Bless you G..
w. Bless yu."
"But I'll tell yu W at shell do. Do
i yuse that tankY" said he.
"May ask wat that is forpn l sed
"That tank will FIJI with rain water, u
sed he. 1.-THE moment you git to pay
in me in silver , shed take ou NV ech
Nv them barrils jist eggsackly three
and one fifth gallons Nv likker and fl
it with water"
"Merciful hevings, we al exclaimed,
land yoor likker So weak now"
"And when silver gifts down to rs
cents on the dollar / shall take out %
per cent Nv whisky and fiji up with %
per cent Nv water. And so on down.
Ell silver goes up shall add whisky
| eggsactly in proporshun. In short,
my whisky is jist agoin' to follow cur
1 ri
lers wfch work for wagis may swet,
but won't.
| "But you'll increase the size of your
glassesp" sed /.
/ Not any. But you may drink twice
ez many times to git the same amount
| Nv drink ez before by paying for each
drink
And Bascom stalked hawtily back