The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-03-26

Anv of the Massachusetts Commit
tees Proving Around When He
is Governor--An Opinion.
B-"Hellol Mr.. Editor"
R.-"Hello! Major. You Are so late
to day that 1 thought perhaps the legis
ture had repealed your charter"
B.-"Not by a jugful. l stand II
with the legislature in sum reepecks,
an sum I don't. I sorter think Betsy
uanted 'em ter pass a woman's suffrage
hill an they didn't do it. They would
not be no Twin in this country if Betsy
could git ter vote. She would be tryin'
ter run fer governor or the Populist
ticket rite off an disgrace me, an may
Ia heat me-, too. No wimin suffrage
fer me, if you please. No, tt reason
I'm so late ter day IL bekaee | amt got
no liberty. Betsy hes had me ploWin',
spadin'. diggin', pullin' an plantin' in
the garden till l don't know the differ
enc between q magistrate an a Judge
ov the Superior Court. She IL goin'
ter raze enuf inguns, peas, termaters
an cabbage ter supply two townships.
Betsy is purity sharp, l tell you. When
git tired and want ter rest she tells
me that a man who will sit Ground an
let hiz wife do awl the Wurk will never
be governor ov North Carolina. That
fires me UP an / jump Ground ar Wurk
like I wuzzent more than twenty years
old. I'm afraid it will ruin my cOnsti
tuition"
R-Are your political prospects
pretty good nowG"
B-"Only midlin'. I wuz purity in
thusiastick till I heerd how the guver
ner ov Virginia wuz fixed an that put
adamper ON me. I'm afraid they mite
send another committee down here an
| would hev ter entertain a negro at
the Mansion. OF course that would be
awl rite if Betsy wUzEent at home an
it wouldn't git into the papers. But I
tell you Idon't want ter tackle q serape
like that at So. 900 a year. I wouldn't
mind it if it could be Kept a secret. I
wouldn't mind dom anything ter catch
a few votes, but I don't Wanter catch
thunder ter boot. II that liz q part ov
the bargain I'm goin' ter let sum other
Teller hold down the job"
R-"What do you think Of a mem
Der Of a legislative committee who will
get drunk, stay drunk q week and
then wan pay for work he never
doneY"
B.-'I hev a nifty poor opinion ov
SIGH fellera. But they amt no way ter
punish 'em at once unless you make
'em subscribe fer the Net0S and OF
8erUer an read it through every day.
That would beat the Keylie I~nstertute
awl boiler for gitten q man ter sober
up an repent ov hiE sins"
R.-"You may be too severe. You
want to iDfi3t capital punishment for
a minor ofensa."
B.-'I don't mean fer 'em ter read
the editorials an aWl, I only mean
sum things here an there in the paper"
R-"What do you think of the out,
look in general7"
BIT IL decidedly better. Kongrese
hes adjourned an'the danger frum that
quarter il over. The folks air comm
ter their senses awl over the country.
1t is g0in' ter take a hard 1te yit, but
1t will amount ter sumthin'. II they
will elecs me governor I'll promise to
cut the shackles that il bindin' the hu.
man race an mend up things awlalong
the line"
R.-"You are making fair promises y
B-"Fhat Il Whut Kurnel johnson
said ter do an I'm carryin' it out. I'm
a polertishun frum away back. GUIDE
bye"
A NEW PRESIDENTIAL POSI-.
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