The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1895-04-04
s3 AND HIS UNCLE

A Chicago man made his nephew
present last Christmas Of watch. The
nephew lives IL indiana. A few days
after the present the beneficiary of the
gift sent his uncle a telegram, collect,
like this:
Watch received. Does it keep Chi
.ago or New York time? BOB"
The uncle replied by letter that it
could be made to keep either. 1t was
constructed that way on purpose. With
in forty-eight hours anomer dispatch,
collect was received by the uncle. 1t
was like this:
Watch an hour ahead Chicago time
IN hour behind New York. What'll /
do? BOB"
The uncle answered that by mail
explaining what might be done, and
had a postscript as follows:
When you want to know anything
more about the watch, write-don't tele-
graph. Messages cost money"
Then there was silence for a few
lays. One morning at breakfast the
uncle was handed message watch
read:
Dear Uncle: 1t won't run at all. !
send this night message cause it costs
only half as much as day rate.
BOB"
The uncle was annoyed, but amused
at the boys persistence and curious
idea of economy. II was boy my
SELF" he said to his elder brother. Then
he wrote to Bob to take the watch to
the matchmaker, have him fix it, and
send the bill to Chicago. Two days
later another message:
Uncle: Man says he don't know
you. But he knows me. I'm suffering
for time 80 send this by wire.
BOB"
The uncle forgot that he had been a
boy and wrote his nephew sharp let
ter, lecturing him for not observing his
request.
You made mistake when you pre-
sented that boy with watch" said the
uncle's elder brother. "Wtat he needs
Is hammer"
"The mischief has been DONE" sale
the uncle, "and ex-post facto remarks
on your part are out Of order"
A few days later another message.
oight rate:
Uncle: Shipped watch to you to
night by express. Man here says you
can have it mended in Chicago cheaper
than he can do it. BOB"
a few hours later package was lait
on the uncle's desk. Charges 80 cents.
OF course he raved, put the watch in
his desk, and went about his business
trying to forget it. Two days later this
message:
Dear Uncle: Did you get her? SEM
Ger day before yesterday. Answer.
BOB"
The uncle took the watch to the firm
from which he bought it. left It, and
wrote to Bob enjoining silence on his
part until he received the watch. Then
the uncle was called out Of town and
did not return for three weeks. He
found on his desk two frantic messages
and two letters from Bob. The office
boy had receipted for the messages
and left them there. The last message
read:
'If don't get her in two days your
conduct in the transaction will be pub
iished in our paper. The editor says lite
O oood ona on Won, BOB"
The uncle concluded it was diplomacy
% answer this by wire. He sent this:
"Bob: Have been out Of town. Just
returned. Watch goes down tonight.
UNCLE"
Two days later this from Bob (col
iecD:
watch received. Not the same watc.
you sent before. Is this what reat
about as a confidence game? Should
think you'd be ashamed to play 1t on
7our own blood. BOB"
The uncle investigated. The concern
aad sent the wrong watch. Telegram
rom uncle to Bob:
Bob: Watchmaker's mistake. YoW
,wn watch goes down tonight. Re
turn other to matchmaker here.
UNCLE"
Two days later. Message from Boz
collect:
Uncle: Watch received. I don't
know watchmaker's name nor address
In Chicago So send it to you. Sorry
10 trouble you. BOB"
The uncle sat down in the same at
dtude and despair as that described by
novelists where the hero gets 1t in the
neck at every turn.
"If ever see that boy again will
lame him for life," said the uncle to
his brother. THAT watch has cost me
In messages and express charges almost
us d. pdl4 Iva l14C NL AkSSo SA4AA3
originally. And the little rascal has
gone and told the chain Of transa ctions
to the editor Of the sheet that is printed
In his town."
The other brother stroked his beard
and said he made 1t a rule to never
make boy present Of any kind.
While this situation was on there came
another message. 1t was from Bob
(collect):
Uncle: Spring in watch snapped
and two Of the hands came off. think
I had rather have pair Of skates. Do
you care? BOB"
This dispelled the gloom for mo
nent. Here was chance to get rid Of
the watch forever. The uncle an
swered by wire:
Bob: Good idea. Push It alons,
Trade quick. UNCLE"
II reckon that will settle it." said the