The Press., 1895-10-24

heavy cowld in the h pad an on the chest.
 Prince O'Rorke went up to the king's apartment afther he'd swallyed his own breakfast an found his majesty sittin wud his feet in 8 tub of hot wather, groanin mighty hard.
 "I'm sorry for your throuble, Mac, says the prince.
 "Oh, me chest, me chest !' was all the king'ud groan. "The musthard is burn in like vithriol into the marrow of me collar bones'' an at the same time the ould vagabone hadn't a scrap of mus thard on him at all
 "What about the meetin?" axes the prince |" Twill be a shockin disap- pointment to the free an independent electors of Brefney if you don't turn up"
 "Oh, don't be talkin to me about meetin s. groans ould Mac. Sure, 'tis my death I'd get, if ventured out into the open air after the blistherip I've given meeef Besides Inc Wheezes like an ould woman dyin of a l;ngerin disaise-"my voice is completely gone, an I'd bo no use ill lie to you. "
 "It's bad job, sure cnou vh, sighs the prince, for he was terribly disap- pointed. "Is there no chance at Gll of your pullin yourself together before evenin?''
 "Not chance,' groans tho king. "Maybe 'tis all for the best, Tierny, for twill be a great relief to the people not to have to dhraw my weight on the side car-you know I turn the scale at 20 stone.
 1T suppose I'd best send up the coort dispensary docthcr to you," s,:ys the prince, heavin another sigh of d;aap- pointment.
 "Don't do anything of the soort, :" says the king. 'I wouldn t havo doc ther lay finger on mo for the whole contents of the purse you'll get this evenin. A king has no right to be thrust in himself to dispensary dOcthers. ''
 "Oh, plaise yourself!" says the prince, An wud that the innocent man left the room, sorely grieved to think that the grand speech he was ;lither preparin would be no use to him, for twas sprawlin all over wud remarks about ''me worthy couS Il, the king of Lein- sther ;'' "nle thruated friend and com panion, King DcrmOt MacmurrOugh ;" -four royal chairman, King Dermot of Leinsther, who's stoppin on visit wud me at present ;" "this grand ould war rior, the only Mac that's worth two Macs any day in the year, and so on. He had a toast, too: "Our royal visit. or, King Dermot: May the hay ill his meadows be as long as the hairs in his beard" Then he was goin to call on a Christy minsthrel, specially imported for the occasion, for "The Boys of Waxford, |" in honor of our royal guest. In short, the prince was gOin to show off to any extent, all impress upon his own hand | full of people the close friendship there was between himself an the mighty Mac murrough. an get all the value he could out of the royal visit.
 An all to be knocked on the head by @ musthard plasther!
 Laither on ill the day poor Herman had regular bulliraggin match wud the wife
 She came into his study to do some dustin all cleanin, an as the man was almost disthracted tryin to dodge up a new speech, laivin out King Dermot or thryin to talk of him as bein absent in body, but present in spirit, he felt her room 'ud be better than her company. He axed the wife quietly at first to with draw, but she tux no heed of him, an that angered O'Rorke greatly, an some divil prompted him to taunt her about the king.
 "Iaxed you, Gilly, more than vance, J says he, "to laive me to meself, but you seem to take no heed at all of what l say to you lattherly. Your head seems fairly turned by the soft sawdher of that I ould reprobate up stairs. 'Twould be fit ther for him to be tellin his bades or