The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1895-04-13
SPECIMENS OF WIT.
SOME HISTORIC FLASHES OF spoN-
TANEOUS HUMoR.
Not Few European sovereigns Have
Been Fond Of and Given to Repartee.
Clever and Brutal Jests Passed Among
Englishmen of Long Ago.

Clever and Brutal Jests Passed Among
Engiishmen of Long Ago.
Generally speaking. the strong have
refused TO put up with testing from the
weak The Car Nicholas, who had
some fine qualities, was hardened against
meditated act Of clemency by the un-
daunted spirit Of prisoner. Relief. a
man OF letters. had been implicated in
the conspiracy of 1925 and sentenced to
be hanged. He was launched from the
fatal ladder, when the rope broke and
he was thrown to the ground, severely
bruised, but conscious. He picked him
self up and said quietly, They can do
nothing in Russia, not even Irvine cord
properly. 1t was customary in Russia
to pardon the condemned after similar
fiasco, but on Relieff's words being re-
ported to the czar and his pleasure de-
manded he replied, prove him the con-
trary."
Henry VIII, with all his violence and
tyranny, could bear with a retort as well
as give one for he loved wit When it
was told him that the pope had sent the
cardinals hat to Fisher bishop of Roch-
ester, he said. 'r * have the hat,
but he shaiGc1sSe no head to wear il
with. 80 the bishop was brought to
the block. On one occasion the turbu-
lent Earl of Kildare was brought before
the king, charged with setting firtSb
the cathedral of Cashel. 81 own it,
said the earl "but never would have
done it had l not believed the archbish-
op was in it" Henry laughed and par
doned the culprit. His bitterest enemy
was the bishop of Meath, who accused
him to Henry of divers misdeeds and
closed his arraignment with, THUS, my
liege, you see that all Ireland cannot
govern the earl. -
"Then," said the perverse monarch,
1.-THE earl shall rule all Ireland" and
instantly made him lord deputy because
his good humor equaled his valor
Elizabeth resembled her father in her
willingness to put up with retorts from
saucy subjects and to pay them back in
kind, not always with the greatest re-
finement. The little scene with the i'll
fated Earl of Essex, when she boxed his
ears for insolence and he laid his hand
on his sword, saying that he would not
take such treatment even from her ia
ther is familiar to every one.
Going back to still earlier dates, we
constantly find the imperious Plantag-
enet kings giving and receiving retorts
that bear witness of great independence
among some of their powerful subjects.
1t was Edward who, on the refusal Of
the "Black Dog of Warwick" to join
the king with vassals and supplies for
J war, said, "Sir Earl, you shall either go
or hang" The retort was, "Sir Rex, l
| will neither go nor hang"
Henry ~ of France was good natured
above most monarchs in repartee As
, rule it is impossible to reproduce in con-
D ventional English dress the jests of this
3 wise and witty king. On one occasion
3 it was the turn of NJ. dAubigne to sleep
= in the kings antechamber. Fancying
the monarch was asleep, he began to talk
= to M. de la Force, who shared his watch,
Q saying, "Your master is the most I'M
| grateful of men. La Force, half asleep,
0 asked him what he was talking about,
G when Henry cried out: wake up He
D is telling you | am the most ungrateful
Of men.
pray go to sleep, SIRE" interrupted
: D'Aubigne 1--WE have great deal more
/ to say about you " Henry never showed
s less kindliness to his servant ON account
a of what he had overheard
But the cynical generosity of Freder-
lex the Great is unique. A lackey who
owed him grudge had determined to
S poison him. One morning he brought in
s the kings chocolate and appeared visi-
bly, troubled in countenance. "What ails
your" said Frederick, looking fxedly at
him. You look as if you had put poi
Z son in my food. " The wretch fell at his
It feet and avowed his crime. Get out of
my sight, you scoundrel" said Freder-
n lex and took no further notice of the
k mans attempt to murder him.
p A delicate compliment is a work Of
/ far higher art than the most biting sar-
: casm. Every one knows the story of the
/ poor creature who found himself seated
a between Nine. Recamier and Nine. de
Stael, and managed to offend them both
n by saying that he sat between wit and
n beauty, and was crushed by the retort
IS of Nine. de Stael that he possessed nei-
Their. The court of Louis XIV was the
y school where this art was brought tc
perfection The fiattery offered to the
1t king by the men of genius was at once
coarse and exquisite. Witness the inim.
liable reply of Mignard, who was paint
ing the kings portrait for the tenth
time, when Louis asked him, do look
older?"
d 81 see a few more campaigns ON the
II brow of your majesty"
II One of Louis marshals, Bassompierre,
y was great at repartee. He had spent ter
10 years in the Bastille, and ON emerging
Is his majesty asked him his age. Fifty,
% sire. " To the surprised look of the king
/ the marshal added. 81 don't count the
o ten years passed in the Bastille, because
10 did not spend them in your majesty
d service. philadelphia Telegraph
q He Must Do Something.