Middletown transcript., 1895-01-19
coURTsHIP IN A FLAT.
1t is not What 1t is Cracked up to be
When Judged Fairly.


From the Chicago Tribune.
1t was at meeting Of the Young
Woman's Progressive Political Asso-
citation. They greeted each other with
an explosive kiss.
81 haven't seen you for ages, you
dear thingp said the girl with the
poppies in her hat. 'sI'm so glad you
came to-day this is to he perfectly
ideal meeting. Are you married YETI"
mo; and Pm not likely to be as long
as / live in flat,' responded the girl
with the ostrich boa. "I'd like to
have, Let all who enter here leave
hope behind carved over the entrance
to our building"
'If you want responsive shoulder
t) weep on here is mine. j, too, live
in a fat and when our landlord wanted
a new name for the building sug-
gested the Anti -Matlimonial-he de-
clined it, though, said it might affect
the popularity of 'em. l just hate a
fiat. o, yes, we have steam heat, gas
range
Hardwood mantel, porcelain bath
"Tiled hearths, electric bells, and
all modern conveniences," groaned
the girl with the poppies. "Oh, don't;
you make me illp'
''Our fiat has no doors at all, only
portieres,' moaned the girl with the
feather boa, ''and only the man who
doesn't mean anything by it is bold
enough to make love to girl when
member of her family may be in am
bush behind each curtain"
s'I know. And the awful things
that happen to one when one is tempo
rally isolated from ones best clothes.
I was once caught in the bed room
which opens off the parlor, with all my
decent gowns in wardrobe at the
back of the fiat, and swell New
Yorker, who only had one day in town,
waiting in the parlor to see me. 1
don't know what would have happened
if Minnie hadn't gone up to the fiat
above and lowered my tea gown out Of
the window in basket"
"That's nothing. had been wash
ing my hair in the bath room one day,
nd had left part of it there to dry. l
fled to my own room, which also opens
eff the parlor, at sound of the door
bell. It was Jim, and mamma had to
bring me my hair in hand satchel
before could 60 in"
"And l once dropped hot curling
iron down my back while Burt was
waiting for me in the next room, ano
dared not scream lest he find out what
l was doing"
"That comes of a man having ne
sister to familiarize-"
'Nothing of the SOFT It. is the
fault of fat"
"Well, maybe so. Alma has made
her father move to the suburbs ant
take whole house."
"Yes; and hear she is going to b
: married"
"Quite likely. Did you hear hov
she lost Victor?"
mo; do tell meP'
s'He was calling on her the vel.
evening before she left on that trip t.
Kansas, and she had strong hopes tha
he would commit himself. Just abOu
as it was time for him to go, grea
hubbub Of voices arose in the mex
room, and, under cover of it, he said
'Ah, Miss Alma, could-could-coul'
you-'"
"Yes, yes; 60 onl''
"Just then her fathers voice ros
loud and clear: Il tell you now,' b
was saying, this thing has got TO stop
Alma's extravaganza is enough 10 ruiz
any man! No wonder she is "a an
can't Her mother stopped hin
there, but itswas too late. Alma aske'
Victor what he was going to say AM
he stammered out: 'CoulG-could yol
tell me what time it is?"
'tPoIr Alma! And know that b.
the time she got back from Kansas hi
was engaged to that little schoo
teacher, who makes over her dresse
twice and puts her money in th
bank"
"Yes. O, my goodness! They ar
all going and We haven't heard wor
they said. They were going to discus
the most vital question of the day
and"
"For my part, the question we hay
been discussing is vital enough ft
me-" replied the girl with poppies
her hat, and there were tears in he
eyes as she said it.
A little Italian who came to Roc
land last summer had never seen snow
and recent storm was great surpris
Looking out of his window and noti'
ing some of the snow on the walk, /
cried out: II guess one of the lin
kilns is busted" And then seein
some everywhere, he continued: "A
the lime kilns must have busted"
''Say, Mister" said little Frenc
Air child, as she watched the cattle Ell
joying THAR cud, 'do you have to bu
gum for all of them COWS to chew?'