Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1895-04-23

in q concentrated voice. What ye
/ s'pose I'm up here for anyway? Think
I'm addressing the county convention?
Want ME to move an amendment IN
favor of woman's suffrage, don't ye?'
Then the hassock turned slightly, as
the worm is said TO do, and in catching
his balance and breath Mr.. Wiggles-
worth jerked the paper out Of his wife,
grasp. The paper turned a smart cor
ner and Topped up against the wall, 10
which it chung in clumsy and tena-
/ cious embrace.
What We do that for?" shouted Mr.
E Wigglesworth as loud as the uncertain
( hassOck would permit.
II didn't go TO- returned his
frightened wife. and with what alac-
rity she was mistress Of she unpealed
the cold and death like sheet.
Now. you let it alone, dye hear?'
warned her husband, and acting upon
his direction, Mrs. Wigglesworth re-
tired TO the far side Of the room,
whence she watched him in a species
Of fascination This is the tragedy THAI
speedily unfolded itself before her:
Mr.. Wigglesworth. feeling more and
more the treacherous character of the
bassoCk. held his knees at that angle
which gives TO even the strongest man
an appearance of weakness. His arms
we're thurst out to their full capacity,
and. though at a distance, Mrs. Wig
ellsworth could feel their dreadful
ache.
First her husband pressed his end
end of the strip close up to the border;
the lower end caught on also at the
! same instant, but in quite another part
Of the room. and by the time Mr.. Wig
ellsworth had reached painfully down
ward and fetched it loose. at the same
moment muttering something that Mrs.
Wigglesworth tried hard to hear, but
couldn't, distinctly, the upper end
came away and topped down over MIR.
| Wiggleworth's forehead leaving more
paste there than his wife had thought
could be LETT on one forehead in a sin
gle afternoon
Mr.. Wigglesworth's comments upon
this transaction, as he frenziedly
snatched at the paper, were not only
clearly audible TO his wife, but even
penetrated to the hired girl, who
promptly opened the kitchen door to
| palmer.
Then Mr.. Wigglesvorth, with an
earnestness that nobody could avoid no
ticing, sptnked the moist side OF that
paper against the wall and slapped it
with both hands till the creations Of
! Aubfey Beardsley's ran all into each
| other.
Now fix the lower end" chirped
! Mrs. WiggleswoTth from the distance.
! This was one Of those things that
were better left unsaid. Mr.. Wiggles-
| worth fetched a mad snatch at the low
er end OF the paper, and on the in
slant the hassook, with a low, fiendish
| chuckle. turned over on It's other side.
Mr.. Wigglesworth had only time for
one yell, but it was full grown in area,
and then yaulted into the air. the paper
letting 90 its hold and transferring its
affections to the falling fortunes Of the
house Of WiggleswOrJh, and as that
gentleman went sailing through the at
mOsphere, the paper wound itself in
sinuous folds about him, till a stranger
looking in at the window would have
said that Mr.. Wigglesworth was an ad-
mirable living picture reproduced from
the Yellow Book
That's right" he yelled as soon as
he could get to his feet and kick the
hassock through the door; stand over
there with your thumb in your mouth
and toGing in-that's all you're good
for. Wha'd We let go that paper for?'
he continued shaking bis fist at the
ceiling; why didn't Sc steady the
table, samos / told yer?'I You make
me out the blamcst Old fool in Knox
county always trying to help YOU with
your cconomizing, but 1 want you to
understand that the next time you get
me to chOre around at hOuse-cleaning
my name won't be Wigglesworth! and
he rushed up TO the bathroom to clean
himself.
Il felt awfully about it," said Mrs.
+ Wigglesworth to the ladies who called
soon afterWard to ask her to bake a
cake for the lodge sociable, but if you
never saw q man fall eff a mahogany
table with a calico cooking apron tied
around his neck. you never can realize
how dreadful Ellery locked at that
moment w. o. Fuller, Jr, in New
| York Recorder.