St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1895-01-13

the shoemaker and know his folks.
You sleep just to please the man who
stuck the bed together, and wear clothes
to tickle the -clothier. You sneeze, l
guess, just to show your nose that you
are aware it's stuck on you. Possibly
you wear socks out of respect for your
feet, and put on drawers to keep your
pants from getting too familiar with
your legs, and"
/ looked up. He had ducked.
One night when l was sitting here,
killing cockroaches. smoking a pipe and
eating yellow can ly, very theatrical
looking thing came in and familiarly
sat down on the desk, scraping off sew
eral bank notes, government bonds and
society items which my friends on Sum-
nit avenue had sent me.
~" said he. 'am the agent for The
Charity Ball. which played
At the Theater Tonight.
Gin writing up your notice, or criti-
cism, 1 want you to start out to the
effect that "A large and appreciatiye
audience witnessed, etc., etc. do you
understands y hnA
care you busy?" asked.
''No, not particularly" lie said.
WELL" SAID, lust take charge of
the paper for few hours, | want to go
out and see my girl. I'll be back about
midnight. Write anything you want
and fire anybody that dares to touch
your copy. l recognize the absolute
right of you agents to dictate and shape
the policy of the paper. If there is
anybody OH the staff you don't like, fire
'em out. If you think the type is bad.
get new dress, and if you don't like
the headlines, don't use any. Start
everybody to writing notices for your
show. Tell 'em how to write the no.
tees and cut down the salary of the
man who doesn't say something about
large and appreciative audience. may
stop for supper on my way back, but
don't get uneasy. I'll return. If you
don't want anything printed about the
other theater, kill it. Fill the paper with
notices about The Charity Ball Sit OH
their desks, spill the paste and remem-
Der that you are from the East, and we
don't know anything out here. We are
always ready to resign in favor Of you
people. We are dummies. We can't do
a thing but lasso cow or brand heifer.
We remind ourselves very much of
nothing. You are the real thing. We
never happened. We are cold and frosty
and Oh the bum, We like your sort,you
are always so fresh and ingenious and
good. Oh, you're very good. and ="
He, too. took a quick sneak. and the
last l saw of him he was haggling with
the hotel clerk over his bill. and telling
him at the same time that the news
papers of the Northwest didn't know
anything.
The last person who came in to see
me was a pretty young girl. She was
full of spirits and joy. Lots of joy.
II want you to put it in the paper that
Mamie Briggs is engaged to George
Dude" she said with smile.
care they engaged?' l asked.
mo" she answered, "but it will be
such a good joke"
YES" l said, lit will be splendid
Joke. Mamie will be down here with a
hod full of bricks, and George Will be
apt to smack me in the wrist. l don't
know Name. and, therefore, can't
stand for the notice"
We'll, L know her." she said inGig-
nantly.
st am glad you do" said L; "it prob
ably helps her whole lot"
"Well, thought the paper wanted
news" she said wrathfully.
That's just what it wants." l re-
piled; news, not fakes.
Come in some day when Pm writing
poetry" added, land PIl give you a
kiss
She didn't linger. CORK.