The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1895-03-27
MIR. DOOLEY'S VERSION
OF TRILBY.
He Gives a mary of the
Story to Mr.. McKenna.

the bar, "an' read 1t behind th' dure,
an be sure ye don't lave it where
ye'ea wife can get hold iv it. It's
n French book an tough"
"rrilby' said Mr.. McKenna,
examining the cover. "That's
queer name. Where did you get
it and what's it all about?
81 got it with pound iv tay,"
said Mr.. Dooley, "and it's about a
girl be tn name iv Thrilby,
French girl, dye mind. Flltell We.
Ye see, this here girl Thrilby she
amt no better than she ought to be,
an th' beginnin' iv the shtory she's
a milkman. tell ye thrue. Ye'll
see FIR ye'crself. She gets in with
some lads that does be learnin' To
paint some pictures in the city iv
Paris, France, an she gets shtuck
on wan iv thim-a kid be th' name
iv Little Billee. Now this here kid
his people is ha-arn workin,' indus
trious people, and they're sore agin
him marryin' this here Thrilby, for
she's no betther than she should be,
so he goes off an gets his little
skate on bi himselfe an two Frinch
sojers be th' na-ame iv-well, niver
mind th' name iv thim-an'has the
delirium thremens TO heat th' div
vie.
$50 thin they're two other la.ads
come in, wan geezer with long
whiskers like fire escapes be tn
name iv Malasses Candy an, til,
other Scotchman called tn, lard
because iv him bein' smooth lad.
Well, things goes on firm bad to
worse an more of it whin in comes
a Jew man-what tn 'ell's his
name-well never mind, we'll call
him Mose-an' a tougher lookin'
gaz DO We niver see in ye'er life.
He's piano chuner am theaytre
manager. That there's him with
th' whiskers all over his head. But
they was nawthin' the matter with
Nose. He was all right. lie had
tn evil eye an he goes an puts tn
comethcr over this here Thrilby
am takes her around th' wurruld
showin' her in th' theaytres-she
done wan night stands in Rooshia
am Boolgahria am 1 think see her
wanst at tn Lyceem, but maybe
Pm wrong.
"Anyhow, twas dam good thing
FIR Nose whin he stole her away
firm the kid, FIR he can make more
coin be means iv her singin' thin
he cud be chunin' pianoes. Ye see,
she cudden't sing when he want
around, FIR save am excipt whin
his evil eye was on her she had q
voice loike Molligan's COW, am was
on'y good FIR wan song, "Don't Ye
Raymimber Sweet Alice, Ber
Bol?.' But whin he had her right
she'd melt the heart iv amy wan
Well, things wint on firm bad te
worse, an the kid was called home
an got into a row with prowtest
,, ant minister. This here kid was
an infidel and didn't believe in M
Gawd, dye mined, not KNOWN any
betther, bein' raised among tn
French, who are immortal be ma
ture. He was still stuck on Thrill
by in spite Of her bein' no bette
than she shud be an runnin' of
with Nose. Wan day wan iv tn.
other fellows-the la-ad dye mind
they called Molasses Candy-meet'
Nose and they havy throuble, an
his gumdhr0ps belt th' Jewman II
, th' eye. 1t was turrible fight
q but no wan was killed. Thin thi
here Chocolate Crane, he got mix
4 in it up with some French lads, an
took wan iv thin be th' legs ant
beat tn others with him till he''
killed most of thin, whin he win
), out and took a Turkish bath.
q Well, so it kept goin' firm bad t
q worse an no one heerd tell iv Nose
4 but he was around eountin' up tn
. house In Rooshia an B00lgahri
4 an maxim money he th' WACO
. load till he was tn richest Jewmi
amy where. But wan night h
had fit at th' theayter where h
was showin' off Thrilby. The
called doctor, but twas no use, ,al
Nose he fiated. So Thrilby cue
is dent sing any more"
r. "What was the matter with her
2. asked Mr.. McKenna.
s "Nawthin' at all, only whin Mos
s got his lamps off her she lost he
> voice." said Mr.. Dooley.
g "Why didn't she get new man
e ager?" asked Mr.. McKenna.
It "She cuddent find wan with Il
J. evil eye" said Mr.. Dooley. "He
n pipes was frosted If amy wan bu
| NJ A., l. l. 4 4