San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1895-05-12
HE HANGS PAPER.
Mr.. Wiggle swor5hs Experience at
Spring House Cleaning.

AZ lllt LESl SLtD MT. W X 3 lGo'N VI III
made into the front hall his foot rested
upon q moist cake of soap, and in
another instant he was over by the
dining-room door with his arms around
the hat-tree and some language trailing
on behind that left coppery taste in
the atmosphere as it slowly curled up
the front stairs
"Who left that soap on the floor?" he
yelled, as soon as he could unlock him
self from the hat-trec.
"Why-I-I guess Mary must" STAN
mered Mrs. Wigglesworth, who had
rushed il from the kitchen with a
potato masher in her hand. We've
are cleaning house, you know"
Cleaning houser said her husband;
well, sposc We are? You needn't think
you're going to use me to flop up your
moors with" Mr.. Wigglesworth meant
to say mop up your floors, but the sud-
denness of his entrance had temporarily
unhinged his tongue. Think you've
seen me advertised in the back end of
the magazine, don't YEP" he continued,
warranted to save labor or money re-
funded. Reckon Pm to be had of all
grocers, l s'pose, or sent prepaid on re-
ceipt Of price!"
These retorts were so keen that Mr..
Wigglesworth found his good-nature
coming back through their exercise,
and he ate dinner without grumbling
more than q man has to do ordinarily.
When he went into the sitting room he
found the carpet up and there was n
bundle ofwall paper in a chair.
Whats this?' he shifted, suspi-
ciously.
Its wall paper" his wife responded;
Il got it at great bargain down to
Root 8; Gilder's-closing out of new
spring goods just received, at less than
cost"
"Huh!" grunted her husband, unroll-
ind package and holding it wrong
side up. Looks like case of delir-
ious trimmings"
eyes," huttered Mrs. Wigglesworth,
'it is the new art, the man said-after
Aubrey Beardsley."
"Who's Aubrey Beardsley?" coldly
returned Mr.. Wigglesworth with a
falling infection.
"He-he is-the-the man that has
got up so many new ideas of-of art, u
Mrs. Wigglesworth explained; "they
are quite crazy over him, you know, so
the man said"
''Weu, if they're any crazier than
Bearlsley pity 'em," growled her
husband, dropping the roll in disgust.
"Whos going to hoist this nightmare
onto our walls?" he added.
IL want you to step in and speak
to the paperhanger on your way down, "
his wife returned, timidly.
'Oh, yes, that's til" Mr.. Wiggles-
vorth snorted, ''feller with a black
board on his shoulder and a hinge in
the middle and four dollars day
and then an idea shot into Mr.. Wiggles-
worth's active brain. "B'george!' he
cried, firing with it, IN hang this
paper myself" and he began peeling
off his coat.
But, Ellery," his wife said in mild
expostulation, you haven't had any
experience"
Experience nothing!" retorted Mr..
Wigglesworth, whats experience got
to do with handy man? Four dollars
, days experience enough for me, and
1 must be n chump if l can't smear
, some moist flour over the rear end of a
| few sheets of paper and slap 'em uI
: against a smooth wallT'
; When Mr.. Wigglesworth had made
5 up his mind to thing it was like the
l French revolution, it had to go. In
, brief time ne had the hired girl
boiling some paste and Mrs. Wig
l ellsworth had tied one of her aprons
l about his neck, much to his disgust
c She said when all nature was vocal
4 with the melody of spring, when birds
were huting their first glad notes and
D thousand streams made music in theil
: journey toward the sea, she didn't pro
S pose to have her husband going through
!, the street with flour paste daubed al
: over his new spring clothes.
: Mr.. Wigglesworth opened one of tn,
i rolls of pa per, spread it out on tn,
dining-room table and, taking sight
n at the altitude of the room, cut off
Y strip that appeared to be the prope,
e length. Utilizing crumb brush h,
;. spread on a copious quantity of paste
e and then lifted the paper by one end
= he put his arms up to their full length
t but the other end of the paper still lin
e gered on the table.
It "Why don't We take hold of itP' h.
$ said testify to his wife, who stood du
: biously looking on.
Is So Mrs. Wigglesworth appraised tn
a other end and her husband stood in
It chair. He reached for the border lin,
q of the wall, but fell short of it.
"Why don't We go fetch tablet" h
It angrily roared at his wife. That
e rightT' he shouted as Mrs. Wiggles
worth dropped her end of the pape
:, and the pasty side trailed over the bacl
;, the chair and chung about his knees
Il "You told me to get the table," Mrs
u Wigglesworth protested, considerably
r abashed.
"oh, of coursem Mr.. Wiggleswortl
It snarled, clay it all onto me. f L,
n told We to jump through hoop s'pos