Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1890-1895, 1895-02-13
PREACHER STORIES.
HUMOROUS INCIDENTS IN THE LIFE
OF MINISTER'S.

Immerstop-The Methodist Preacher and
the Fishing Boy-The Marblehead Divine
and the Fierce Bull.
An Episcopalian clergyman, now dead,
used to relate an experience he once had,
which convulsed his congregation with
laughter and nearly broke up his services
for tho day Hewas the rector of a church
in Connecticut
One day as tho time for the annual visit
tation of tho bishop was approaching. and
he was preparing clnss for confirmation,
he was sent for to visit a woman who de-
sired to talk with him on the subject of
baptism.
Tho woman, who was very stout,
Weighing somewhere in tho neighborhood
of 800 pounds Informed him that she had
long been attracted toward the Episcopal
church, but had rcfrained from uniting
with it because sho had strong convictions
in regard to baptism and felt that she
ought to be immersed.
The minister told her that, although
tho church believed pouring or sprinkling
to BIO valid baptism, it did not prohibit
immersion, though, as it was u somewhat
inconvenient method, 1t was not often
used
He pointed out the difficulties in the
way, saying that he had no fount in the
church large enough for such q purpose.
and that thore was no river or beach in
tho vicinity. In reply sho suggested that
he obtain permission to use tho Baptist
church, which had largo baptistry under
the pulpit platform. This he consented to
do, though with much misgiving. The
consent of tho Baptist brethren was read
lily obtained
The next Sunday Episcopal services
were held In tho Baptist church. AT the
proper time in tho service the candidate
for baptism went forward, and, with the
minister, went down into the baptistry.
All went we'll until it came time for tho
immersion. Then tho minister for the first
timo realized his inexperience in admins
tering that form of baptism. When he at
tempted to immerso the woman, his foot
slipped, end they both went under the
water together.
He hastily scrambled to his feet, but, to
his constcrntion and horror, found, when
he attempted to raise tho woman, that she
could not be moved. There she lay like SO
many pounds of lead flounderng in the
water and screaming for dear life. In vain
he tugged and pulled. She could not be
even started.
Finally several men in the congregation
went to the assistance of the minister, and
by their united efforts succeeded in bring
ing tho frightened women to her feet The
men were wet to the skin, having been
obliged to go into tho baptistry. The
congregation struggled with its pentup
laughter, but finally it burst forth in a
roar which could not be suppressed. The
services were continued with great diff
Guilty, and the minister drew a long breath
of relief when they were ended
Boys in church, as is we'll known, are
not infrequcntly the cause of great annoy
ancc to clergymen. Some years ago
Methodist minister was delivering scr
mon with goUd deal Of earncstness when
his attention was attracted to boy in tho
gallery. Tho youngster was leaning over
tho rail and apparently lowering some
thing attached to cord, which no occa-
/ sionally pulled up, when he would throw
1t over again with moro gusto than over.
Do what he would the preacher could not
keep his eyes OFF that boy.
Shifting his position in the pulpit
slightly, no had better opportunity to
SEQ what was going on and observed that
an old gentleman In a pew under the gal
lcry had fallen asleep and was sitting
with his head back and his mouth wide
open. Seeing this, the boy had attached
cork to string and was cndeavoring to
lower it into the old mans mouth He
came near succeeding several times, and
as the cork gently swayed to and fro it &C.
casionally tickled tho sleeper's nose. At
such times he would stir little uneasily
and brush 1t away with his hand, to tho
evident delight of the grinning youngster
Tho whole scene was SO exceedingly COM
ical that tho minister came near laughing
outright. At length no was Obliged to
beckon to tho SEXTON and request him to
put an end to the boys fishing for the
day or else send him somewhere else TO
do it,
An uncomfortable experience which be-
fell Parson Bartlett, a Unitarian minis
ter some years ago, used to be related by
his clerical brethren with good deal of
glee. The parson had been invited to ex-
change pulpits with a Clergyman in Sa-
lem, and it beng delightful Sunday in
the spring tho parson walked across the
fields from his home In Marblehead start
ing early enough in the morning to be on
time when the hour for service arrived.
Tho congregation assembled at tho usual
. time, but no minister appeared. Minutes
passed into half hour, and from that into
an hour, and it began to DO apparent that
there would be no services tat morning.
Just as tho congregation wal gut to dis
perse the parson arrived. tfv1was covered
with mud from head to feet. His coat was
torn his hat battered, and telltale streak
on his shirt frontexposed his darling vico
of chewing tobacco.
An explanation was in order and was
given. While the parson was sauntering
loisurely along, enjoying the bracing
morning air and the picturesque views,
thinking now and then of the points In
his sermon. he heard following behind
him, and, looking around. saw u belliger-
ent bull, with his nostrils dilatcd and his
tail in the air, rushing directly for him.
The parson ran for wall near by and
jumped into tho next field. But tho bull
was not to be oluded in that way. He was
over rs soon as his clerical victim. The
parson jumped over the wall again into
tho field he had left but the bull wns there
before he was. In this way they kept up
the jumping and running, first over one
wall, then over another, until by scaling
fonce the parson reached the open road.
The bull was thus brought to a standstill
and ran off snorting defiance. Parson
Bartlett, exhausted with his unwonted
exertion, bruised and sore in every limb,