The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-05-22
PITH AND POINT.

We are often able because we think
we are ABLE. Halves.
-"She understands man perfectly"
''She ought to after tending soda
fountain three seasons" = Detroit
Tribune.
-Oakley-"So you like yacht with
a center-board?' Soakley-'I like one
better with well-stocl1ed sideboard. :"
Philadelphia Chronicle.
Man may be happy if he will.
Know then, each mortal is an actual
Jove; can brew what weather he shall
most approve, of wind, or calm, or foul,
or fair.-John Wolcott
The Character of It.-Manager-
''What is the character of the play you
have written?" Playwright = Very
bad. 7 made it to meet the taste of the
times. detroit Free Press.
How. charming is divine philoso-
ply! Not harsh and Grabbed, as dull
fools suppose, but musical as is Appel
los lutte. And a perpetual feast of
nectared sweets, where no crude sur
felt reigns.
what quiet little body she is!''
said the visitor. ''Yes,' answered the
proud father, gazing fondlv at his little
girl busy with her mimic housel1eep-
ing 81 don't think she will ever be
the man her mother is. "-Cincinnati
Tribune.
-Smallwort-'Old man GRIPPE, the
chattel-mOrtgage man, got needle in
his hand this morning and the doctors
had to cut it OUT Nothing
strange in that. They would have
had to do the same thing had it been a
nickel. indianapolis Journal
Depth. -"Professor, said the am
bilious student, Il am determined to
gain recognition from the world as a
deep thinker Could you give me any
advice on how to proceed?" None, :"
replied the old gentleman, thoughtful
ly; unless you write in d sub-cellar."
Washington Star.
-Gertie (who has behaved very rude
ly to her mamma: to her aunt Aunty
Clara, pray don't go away yet!' Aunt
(fiattered)-"I had no idea you were so
fond of me, Gertie.'' Gertie-"Oh!
Aunty Clara, it isn't that, but mamma
said l was to be whipped when you had
gone. "-Dorfbarbier.
-He-''I don't see. Ethel, why it is
that people think Demosthenes such a
plenty Just as good nowadays" She
''But, my dear, just consider at what a
| disadvantage the poor man was, hav-
ing to speak in Greek. Ann Arbor
Wrinkle.
Makes it Credible. Ola biol am
inclined to believe that yarn about
Jonah and the whale and not look up
on it as a fish story" Theolo-''I am
glad to hear it. Will you tell me
why?" Diablo-'' Because Jonah does
not claim that he caught the whale,
he says the whale caught him."
Brooklyn Life.
"A Natural Conclusion.-A small
Boston girl, who was an unnoticed
listener the other day, suddenly piped
up with: Say, mamma, is everybody
wicl<ed?' "Why, no, my child, of
course not" answered mamma. ''Why
do you ask such a question as that?''
Because you haven't said a nice thing
about anyone to-day" The rest was
silence. Boston Herald.
After the Defalcation.-Ban Presi-
dent-''No. really, 1 can not say that
there is anyone against whom we can
bring a charge. But there is Adder
ton, come to think of it; we have al
ways been more or less suspicious of
him" Police Oficer-"But I don't
know as l care to see Adderton. Isn't
there melody about the place in
whom you have always had the most
implicit confidence and whom you
have always trusted?" ''Yes?" Well,
| Transcript.