The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1895-02-17
1T NEVER HAPPENED
PART OF A MARRIAGE CEREMONY
THAT OUGHT TO BE OBSOLETE

That No One Ever Breaks In on a We'd
ding Party and Objects to Two People
Becoming Husband and Wife, Although
Every Minister Makes a Particular Re-
quest in That Limestone of the Incl
dents Related by Local Ministers on the
Subject.
Most everybody in Wichita has fam
cied, heard or dreamed of something
like this:
The slight bride in her white garb,
her curls trembling with an emotional
tremor over the pure white forehead,
tinted with faint purple veins, placed
the small trembling, tapering fingers
ever SO lightly, ever SO timidly, eve.- SO
maidenly in the greater. browner hand
of her bethrothed, standing beside her,
his teeth set with mild determination
to see the ceremony through, without
hitch, at least on his part.
Before the couple the parson, cere-
moniously stiff, monotonously regular
in his recital of the marriage formula,
careless of infection or meaning of the
spoken words which are Hymens tails
man. ta.z4t'E
The trembling couple still standing
there, hearing the parsons words but
indistinctly, and knowing only that
those words will consummate their
long courtship, and realize the longings
of their constant love.
eff there is any one present who
knows why this man and woman
should not be joined in the holy bonds
of wed-lock," drawls the parson, ''let
him now speak or forever hold his
peace"
II dov' cries a man bursting through
the door. He is tall and dark, with
black, sinister eyes and q bestial mouth.
and his voice is deep and cultural, and
his objection shivers through the air,
freezing the brides heart and firing
the face of the groom with mingled in
dignation and alarm.
1T NEVER DOES HAPPEN.
Now that thing never happens. 1t
has never, to the best knowledge OF the
Eagle, took place anywhere. Nearly
every minister in marrying a man and
woman uses that phrase. No one ever
objects. If any one should object, what
would the minister do? No one knows.
Would he go on with the ceremony?
The chances are he would. Then what
would be his purpose Of asking for OBJ
jectionS if he did not intend that they
should interfere. And if he should re-
fuse to complete the ceremony on acr
count of this testimony, the couple
would forwith seek out another min
lister, and take good care that the OBJ
jector should be locked out.
The question arises: What is this
question for any way?
1t probably had it's origin in some
ancient English custom. But the Gus
tom is long dead. and the necessity for
the phrase which the custom necessi-
tated, is dead as we'll. Still the good
old formula is used. 1t is preserved in
the church rituals and the ministers
repeat it over and over again. If one
of these ministers should really be in
terrupted with an objection-an OBJ
lection which he requests-he would be
jerked out of his boots in alarm.
But the ministers have no fear of
this. The Eagle has made a tour
among them with the result that it
finds that marriage ceremonies are
singularly uneventful and undramatic.
1t is true that the stage and the novels
sometimes present the public with hair
raising nuptials, but investigation
proves them to be the merest fiction.
Every minister in Wichita has mar
people. They would be liable in their
wide and long experience to have met
with some very peculiar and dramatic
episodes, but they have not. Further
than this. The groom sometimes aD
pears on the scene without the requisite
license. Or again the couple will make
the mistake of offering to so through
life clasped together with their left
hands. Or again the runaway couple
At mid itrh -
drowsy minister from his bed to satisfy
the sleepless flame of passion.
Those instances are not very dra-
matte, certainly. But they are about
as dramatic events in the way of mar
riage ceremonies, that happen in the
career of the average minister.
1t doesn't appear right that it should
be so. The greatest emotional period
in mans life, according TO the best
authority, is that which has its bliss
full existence when the heart, that he
has long besieged, capituIateS in fact
and conventionality as well as by word,
at the engagement period. There ought
to be some dramatic coloring in so
momentious an event. But the truth
is that there is no drama at all, except
the quiet, invisible joy OF two hearts,
which are forbidden to show emotion
by the rigorous conventionality that
binds the average wedding ceremony
about.
DIDN'T KNOW A CEREMONY.
A reporter for the Eagle has inter-
viewed several Wichita ministers on
the subject of marriage ceremonies.
The result of his labors are given:
Rev. Sims was asked if he remember
ed his first marriage ceremony. Yes"
he replied, land 1 was embarrassed
very much. 1 had just entered the
ministry and had not learned a mar
riage ceremony. The couple came to
me in a hurry one day and wanted to
be tied at once. / was in a quandary.
What was I to do? A happy thought
struck me. There was another min
lister living a few doors from my house,
and / rushed over there and copied
ceremony. This copy 1 pinned in my
coat so could read il off.
when l stood up before them what
was my horror to find that the thing
was lost There was no time for il and
so I stood up bravely and went in with
all my might. / rummaged around in
my mind for every question l had ever
everything that came into my head.
They looked a little surprised at some
Of my intarrogations, which no doubt
were a trifie strange. but when i de-
clared them man and wife they We're
entirely satisfied.
WORRIED ABOUT SHOES.
zone night was sitting in my room
studying. My hair was all mGSsed up
and one shoe was off and the rest of
my apparel was in accordance. There
was a rap at the door and / opened it
Several ladies and gentlemen bounced
in and declared that two OF them want
ed TO get married right away
Wait a minute" / said, as / wanted
to slick up" a little