The Washington bee., 1895-09-21
THE REMoRSELESS BARBER
Experience of Lecturer with the Hair
Trimming Fiend,

| pected to deliver in the evening. an:
so badly scared that l couldn't re
member the subject nor what it wa:
about. l went into fremont stree
Institute of Facial Manipulation unt
TonsOrial DecOra tiOn." and inquired
for the professor who occupied the
chair of Medieval Shaving and Nine
teenth Century Shampoo. One of til,
junior members of the faculty. whC
was brushing an undergraduates coat
| pointed me to a chair. and | climbed
IN. When the performance was about
concluded, the barber said to me:
Have your hair trimmed, Sir?''
l believe not
''Needs it very badly, SIR he said
clocks very ragged"
L never argue with a barber. | said
All right, trim it little, but don't
make it any shorter"
| Immediately he trimmed all the cur
out of it, and my hair naturally. you
know. has a very graceful curl to it
L never discovered this myself until
few months ago, and then l was
very much surprised. l discovered il
| by looking at my lthograph.
| Well. anyhow, he trimmed it.
| On the 9th of December l was al
Bath, Maine. Again | was shaved
and again the barber implored me tC
let him trim my hair. When | an
wered him that it had been trimmed
only two days before, he spitefully
asked where it was done. l told him
and he gave expression to a burst of
sarcastic laughter.
"Well, well. WELL" he said at last
tpir hai II,
Boston. Well, we'll. Now you look
like a man who has been around the
world enough to know better than
that"
Then he affected to examine a lock
Or two very particularly, and sighed
heavily.
Dear, dear" he said, 81 don't know
really, as l could do anything with
| that hair or not; it's too bad"
Well his manner frightened me. and
| told him to go ahead and trim it.
out please not to make it any shorter.
"No." he said, "oh, no, it WASH /
necessary to cut it any shorter: it was
really too short now, but it did neeG
trimming"
SO he trimmed" it. and when ]
faced the Roclland audience that
hight. l looked like a prize fighter.
In four days from that time | was
sitting in the chair of barber down
in New York State. He shaved me
in grateful silence. and then thought
fully run his fingers over my lonely
hair.
Trim this hair little. sir?" he said,
'straighten it up about the edges
l meekly told him l had it trimmed
twice during the preceding week, and
| / was afraid it was getting too short
for winter wear.
Yes" he said, "he didn't know but
what it was pretty short, but yon
didn't need to cut it any shorter L
| trim it. 1t was in very bad, ragged
shape at the ends"
1 remained silent and obstinate. and
he asked me where | had it trimmed
last l told him and he burst into a
shout of laughter that made the win
1ows rattle.
"What's the matter, Jim:' inquired
an assistant partner down the room
holding his patient in the chair by the
nose.
! Jim stifled his laughter and replied
"This gentleman had his hair trim
med down in Maine
There was a general burst of merr
ment all over the shop. and the ap
PRENTICE laid down the brush he was
washing and came over TO look at the
Maine cut. that he might never for
Get it. l surrendered. Trim it 9
little, then" | groaned. "but. in the
name of humanity don't cut it any
shorter.'
NO" the barber said. che wouldnt
make it a hairs breadth shorter"
When l left that shop. if it hadn'
been for my ears. my hat would have
fallen down clear on my shoulders
When | reached the hotel. everybod.
started and couple of men got W
and read a handbill on the wall. des
criptive of a convict who had recent
Ly escaped from Sing Sing. and looked
from the bill to myself very intently
That night several of the audience
drew revolvers as l came out on tht
platform.
Then I went to Amsterdam. y. Y
The barber of that sleepy village
who, in the interval of his other du
ties acts as mayor Of the town. ant
edits the local papers. undertook t.
shave me with piece of hoop irol
he pulled out of his boot lee. When
resisted he went out into the kitch@;
and came back with a kitchen knit
and a can-Opener. and offered me III.
choice. | selected the can opener. ant
he began the massacre. remarking III
cidentally that he used TO keep @oo'
sharp spoke shave for his particull
customers. but he lost it. Then h'
said my hair needed trimming. yer.
badly. l protested that it was i'm
possible. it had been ;mmed three
times within ten days. and was Il
short now as a business man on tn
1st of January.
ooh" he said, sit wasn't too short
and beside there wasn't no style abou
it at all" He could give it som
shape. however, he said, without max
ing it any shorter
So | surrendered and told him t
shape it up. And if that f0redoomed
abandoned. Amsterdam son OF q!
oakum picker didn't go out into tn
woodshed and come back with rust,
old horse rasp and began to file ava.
what little hair l had left. He @!loW
ed a few shreds and patches to II
main. however, clinging here an
there to my scalp in ghosty lionel
ness. 1 rather feared that my a.
pearance that evening would create
panic. but it did not. l observed tha
the majority of the audience had the.
heads shaped up" after the sam
p,annar and were ra ther plea Sed Wit