Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1895-06-09
MANY opp SCHEMES.
Suggested by People with More
Originality rhnn Common Sense.

Originality THIN Common Sense.
There is hardly single government
department or public institution that
is not often approached with wildcat
proposals. The applicants are serious.
but the inevitable effect OF their offers
is to create mlrth.
Perhaps first place rs a queer iden
may be conceded to scheme lately
laid before the French war minister
IL is fathered by Paris professor, who
obviously wishes to have no mercy on
Toe In the field. The savant's plan is
Tor the rearing OF battle blow-iiies.
The creatures would be kept in long
ceses and undergo patient cultivation
oI instinct until they would make, on
release, for foreign uniform. When
s ne need Tor their use should arise. the
mes would be fed on subtle poisons UNI
VI ihey became venomous. Set free
IN the face of an enemy. they might be
1,Apes'eu 70 attack with fury. and
ueath would follow their bite.
=, a somewhat saner Frenchman asks
me war office to train dogs for future
campaigns, and to let every soldier
nave one ut his side This is not sug-
gested Tor companionshlp, but to tear
ana maui an adversary. The fiercer
the animals, the better for the object.
poss as NE preservers, on n large
scale have been recently commended
10 the authorities OF the French capt.
tai by an inventive mind. The pro-
posal Is TO maintain perhaps a couple
OF hundred Ncwfoundlands at stations
on the banks OF the Seine. They would
drag out suicides or the victims of acct
uehts' ana DO II, says the enthusiast in
less Time than man, and with not n
uthe or the risk They would form "A
sensihl efour-footed rescue brigade. This
plan has only Just received official
sanction.
Another warlike originator besct the
French presidents house n year or
Two ago with proposals about a now
| engine OF the most stupcndous destruc-
ton. II was trombone. Presumably
| IL would Stay by mental shock and cx-
| cess OF noise. The fatuous inventor de-
clared that by Its aid in battle the
| opposing force could be fairly wiped
out. His dream lodged him in an In
| Urinary.
a man whose fancy turned TO the
navy and TO the sea suggested that
help should always be provided fot
sailing vessels in the event of dead
calm. His daring idea was n pair OF
bellows on board, according to the
size OF the ship. The proper handles
and hoists would be provided. and
| then whatever the state OF the atmos
. NtaAA NC AbiNNA AAAAO NiiN
| llfelcss sails.
He ignored the little circumstnnc,
| that even the wind in one place alon,
! would not insure motion. This eccen
trio had firm faith in his idea, and h,
experimental for himself He had {
catbeat tewed out on a perfectly still
day. and he rugged up his bellows. II,
worked hard and long, but when tn,
tow-rope was cast on progress cbstin
ately ceased. He was disguised, ant
slackened in the Importantly of hit
proposals.
The United States patent office re
ports n multitude Of highly einguln
designs. one scheme would have h0,
great popularity doubtless II 1t ha,
been carried To success. II was 70
the cure of snoring. But the method
proposed was n loud slng-song repeti
tion of the same set of phrases.
connection seemed wholly lacking be
tween disease and remedy.
Another suggestion was for refresh
ing horses with water while upon
journey. The inventor considered
unnecessary to stop for this purpose
The water could be stored in tn
vehicle, perhaps under the driver
feet. The horses bit was to be hollow
and long flexible tube would condue
to the reservoir. Somehow. this pla
also met with more ridicule than praise
So did second extraordinary animn
E patent that was applied for. 1t wa
/ for the convenience of mlllSmen an
= milkmaids. II proposed the suspensio
I of n weight TO cows tail to prever
, switching during the milking time.
' Railway companies get their shai
g of oddities. suggested or offered. ]
{ Berlin firm of merchants once az
I preached the management Of each in
v portant line represented in the Gel
r man capital. They wished to fit n
] carriages with silk blinds, free of e'
4 pense to the companies. The condition
A were few and simple. The trader
. were to be allowed to change the hlint
d as frequently as they pleased; and, q
: their part, the companies We're 10 mai
d over the privilege absolutely for ter
y of fifty years. They were to accept !
J., blinds from any rivals. As Will
I OWNED. the idea in this was to COW
v the blinds with advertisements. Bl
1 the tender was put on one side.
i The British Museum often has to d
q cline eccentric and useless gifts. M
i to negative queer proposals OF sal
e Some strange decisions appear to
abroad. There are people who ha'
heard that the museum wants n kin
!. fishers nest. and will pay n hundr'
q pounds for a specimen. II Is an u
, founded rumor. So is still more a
a surd notion that n similar sum Is wal
v ing to be paid down for the extrer
n rarity OF a perfect clgar-ash. Near
q every year letters come Offering to 70
e ward to Bloomsbury-for good consi
: eration--a "tortolseshell tom-cat," b
"a lieved to be In request. Nothing OF I
q kind is wanted.
/ In leading college in the Unit
"a States II was determined by the 81
a, dents to form what was called I
n "Anti-Secret Society" II was to d
- fend free social principles. and to pr
"a test against the secret organlzatio
~ that made cliaulsm fine art In
I, many quarters where young life CO
i gregated A committee was appoint
a, 10 prepare a scheme and rules. Tn
Va came back with queer suggestit
ie Rules and routine were all right. b
10 the question OF badge for membt
In had been mooted. In the committee
report It said:
'The badge OF this society shall &C
,s sist OF a bosom-pln about slx-tenths
10 an inch in diameter circular, bla
" disc of let surrounded by wreath
~ gold. bearing In the centre
~ initials of the society's name in rails
~ letters of gold In the enamel"
" The listeners exploded with Taught
l. Modification of that plan was insta
and unanimous. No student wol
s. think for n moment OF weari
= Ass" in large letters on his brea
u Fish That Cannot swim.
s. More than one species Of iish is n