The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1895-03-26
PIIH AND POINT.

Seams well-The sewing machine.
No resolution is considered good by
some people unless it will stretch
Galveston News.
At first success makes name after
ward the name makes the success.
Fliegeude Blaetter.
a banker is n man who takes great
deal of interest in his business
Rockland (Me) Tribune.
Boys will be boys; and some of tho
girls are doing the best they can in
the same direction.
The Napoleon ten is the latest fail
in New York-a sort of Bonaparty,
we suppose. Transcript.
"Did the doctor give you anything
for your cold?" Patient-"Yes, a
bill for 2."-New York Mercury.
Blnnche-"C Clara is deeply interested
in hypnotism." Lucy-"Yes. She's
twenty-nine, and she isn't engaged
yet.
Blobbs-"I see that ruflles are be-
coming fashionable again" Slobbs-
Eyes; even my wife's temper is often
ruffied.
If fool and his money are so easily
parted, will somebody tell lis how it is
there are so many rich foolsP-Phila-
delplia Record.
"Was the brute who struck his wife
punished by the Court?" "No, when
it came to the trial the woman wouldn't
acknowledge herself beaten"
She's called by some n poom,
SO dainty sweet Is she.
Ala, they're right learned last night
Sho is nvcrsc 10 lac.
New York Mercury.
"Why SO glum?" asked his friend.
"Aren't You doing roaring trade ?"
eyes, J nm," admitted the basso, "but
it's oil on notes. "-Cincinnati Tri-
bune.
Lady-"Aro You full of gratitude
for that meal L gave you?" Lane
Walkor-"Botter than that, lady.
I'm full of your splendid hash."-
Philadelphia Record.
Now Boarder (shivering)-"This
stovo is too small for this room"
Landlady (kindly) $50 it is. Til
have it moved into smaller room for
you. Now York Weekly.
"What do you call girl who has
done n brave nct?" nsltod Harry's
father. "Not hero, but a-what2"
'I lnowl" said Harry promptly. "a
she.ro NEW York Mercury.
Mabo1-"A lot of Us girls have es-
tablishel secret society, Jack.
Jack -"What nro the objects of it2"
Mabel -"Why, we meet together and
tell secrets, of course. "-Tit-Bits.
Policeman to Whoolman (who is rid.
ing on tho sido path)-"Seo here,
young man, you can't ride there"
Cant, oh2 We'll, you just watch
mo-" And no shot out Of sight. Tho
American Whoelmnn.
Fenderson-"E Evidently my friends
think I'm smart, whatever you may
say. I know that wheneyer say
bright thing they remember it for
months" Fogg-'T should think they
might "-Boston Transcript.
"5hall II clean the snow off, MADAME"
asked the little boy of the Boston lady.
"No, " she replied severely, you'd far
better go to school and learn that it Is
the pavement and not the snow that is
to be cleared off. -Harper's Bazaar.
The lady was making some remarks
about tho kind of clothes some other
ladies Mt church had on. ''rho finest
garment n woman can wear" said her
husband, els the mantle OF charity"
Eyes" che snapped, land it's about
the only one some husbands want their
wives to wear. New York Mercury.
Pearl Passe-"Yes, dear papa is
very generous. On my birthday an
niversaries no always gives mo u dol
lar for each year have lived" Yulie
Younge Indeed? That must havo
been the money Charley Gayboy
meant when ho said you had q for
tune in your own right. buffalo
Courier.