The herald., 1895-04-16

| in the surf at Santa Monica. 1t is we'll
known that you have been parsimon ious
to fault, but you have preserved your
| selves in alcohol and you are all torn up
with internal dissensions.
g I'm the cock of theNwall1. says Teed.
Rats. says Mundson Indeed I'm boss
OF this place. And so it goes. Why look
at those twenty-five policemen-sweet-
scented jays-that you have put on. That
goes to show. Now in the face of your
general cussedness, incompetency to run
| a government as our royal Queen would
wish, I shall fire you bodily from this
chamber and give your offices to Her
Maiesty's subjects more acceptable to Her
Royal Highness. Constable, do thine
office. Remove the fostering incubus and
call in his Lii Hung Chand, my Right
Hand Bower and High Muck Muck of
the Privy Council. (Scipio-Grover, dust
me Off.
And so the city fathers were deposed
for they fed abashed before the rebuke
of her majesty's great minister and gave
place submit ssively to their successors. In
filed the lords, the hereditary counsellors
from the queens provinces and the royal
city. Ii Hung Chand. the Duke de Los
Angeles, presided, and ranged about him
were the Marquis de Santa Barbara, the
Marquis de San Diego. the Marquis de
Riverside, Marquis de Orange, Marquis
Ventura Marquis de San Bernardino Mar
quis de San Luis Obispo, Marquis de Yer
non. With this array of gallant men
came the board of education, Marquis
Juan de Apablasa, Don Manuel de
Carrajo, Don Juan de CASTELAR,, Don
Pedro de Buena Vista, Don Pancha de
Ramirez, Don Alexandra de Castro, Don1
Tomas de Also, Don Sanchez de Gar
vanza, Don Cesar de San Pedro; super
intendent Of parks, Marquis Alonzo de
Branciforte; health officer, Senor Don
Rodcrigo Calderon; librarian Senorta
Teresa Quelso; chief of police, General
the Knight of Quidado; chief engineer,
Duke of Cienfuegos. The Coming Woman
was represented and wheeled in olr
bicycle dressed in the fashions approved
by the most advanced females of the day.
She was late, but scorned request for an
explanation.
The noble officials then proceeded to ac-
custom themselves to their new position.
and Lord Herald stepped forward and
read declaration of independence that
will show the spirit of the Council that
holds the reins of power over this royal
city.
DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE
When in the course OF inhuman doings it be-
comes the proper caper for people to tear it.
self loose from the gang OF hobos and high
binders that have been running things into
the ground and breaking them off, and to as
sumo among the powers OF the world that
station which their style entities them, a fairly
decent respect for the opinions OF some others
requires that they should declare the causes
which occasion the bust up. We hold these
facts to be giliedged and yard wide. that
some men, but not many, are created equal il
they behave themselves; that they are endowed
with a few rights that somebody ought to re-
spect, whether they do or not; that to secure
these rights city councils are elected to
ofiics with salaries OF hundred dollars
a month"; nolares public are appointed ami
other places OF profit are established. enabling
the lucky 10 secure Dign life low license and
the chase of happiness on bicyc.e built for
two; thatwheaever any form of government
begins to monkey with this plan of procedure