The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-03-12
ZRKR RILKINs. Ma

'ID1a.
"TYFN\N
The Major Comes Home Discouraged
An Adventure on Pullman Sleeper
Waited for the Legislature to act
the Fool, but Waited in
Vain--Zeke Takes the
Photographs of
few Mem
bers.
B.-"Hellol Nh. Editor"
R-"Hello! Major. Your voice
sounds as though you are quite near"
B.-'Yes, I'm at home now. Betsy
kept writin' ter me an made me home
sick. She writ that everything wuz
goin' wrong, but when 1 got home I
found everything awl rite, except
Betsy. My opinion il that Betsy
wanted me ter cum home an kept
writin' me that way jist ter git me ter
cum. She liza great skeemer. I didn't
wanter cum much till I got on the
trane at Hot Springs. The konducter
sed the trane wuz maxim guide time,
but it seemed ter me that it wuz goin'
powerful slow. I amuzed myself the
best I could, but I didn't amuze the
News Butchers by buyin' awl their
stock like I did when I started west.
I've got my eyeteeth cut now. We
got to Greensburrow erbout II o'clock
at mite. I Wuz powerful sleepy, so I
climed inter one ov Mr.. Pullmans'
sleepin' wurks. 1t wuz nifty fine an
comfortable an l had never bin on one
before. There wuz sum ladies sittin'
Ground chattin', awlso sum men. I
didn'G see how we could awl sleep in
that little a first an foremost, nor
could I understand how I would go ter
bed unless I could git a little room ter
myself. But I knowed l would git
through somehow. Directly a Teller
with a cap an brass buttons on hiz
clothes cum erlong an wanted ter know
if I had a berth. 1 tole him I had a
seat, but reconed I wUz minis a berth.
He sed awl rite, $3.50 would fix the
bizness. I sed: "Doyou want it in ad-
vance," He lowed that wuz the
rules. I tole him I had sleptin boardiu'
houses an hotels a dozen times an
he'd never bin asked ter pay in advance.
He sed he couldn't help that, the rules
must be obeyed. So I forked over
81 so an he give me a little ~pasteboard
sayin' that I wuze ntitledto 1napan'2
SHORES in berth 81, section D. of the
4th ward, N. E of s. W. IwUz purity
sleepy an the ladies kept ittin' Ground
till I thought maybe they were waitin'
fer me ter go ter bed first. The porter
cum erlong maxim beds outof the seats
an things. 1 whispered ter him how
I wuz situated. He tole me ter git in
my berth an undress. I didn't see no
other way ter fix it. l reckon if my
friends he'd seen me undressin' after
went to bed they would never elect me
governor. But under the sircum'
stances I couldn't do emmy better. The
trane started an bumped erlong, but
couldn't sleep. I didn't sleep more
than twenty minutes awl mite. The
next mornin' got up an dressed, Or
rather dressed an then got up I eZ'
pected ter find sum other teller with
my clothes on, but didn't. The porter
cum around an brushed me off an
held out hiz hand fer a quarter. 1 toIe
him / had done paid Mr.. Pullman 81
fer twenty minnets sleep an that wu7
awl I could invest. He lowed it
would be a cold day when he voted
fer me fer guverner. That brought
me ter time an he got the quarter. By
this time we were at Raleigh an 1 got
off an struck fer home. I tell youit
made my heart thump when I saw the
Muse river an got in site ov home.
Betsy cum a runnin' to meet me But
l will now draw the curtain. After
awl the ceremonies were over Betsy
tole me that the legislature, while fat
frum perfect, had done SO we'll that
there amt no hope fer the dymakrat
party, an I he'd az we'll give up my
offs seekin'. So I concluded ter go
ter Raleigh an take a look at the legis'
Iheard before got there that
Senator Carver had placed a couple oV
deer horns on the Presidents desk, but
they amt like the horns a couple Of
other Senators frequently place about
their persons. I found a real nice