West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1895-02-28
OLD MAN B0WSER.
HAS FUN PUTTING UP A STOVE
FOR HIS MOTHER MILAN.
Gets The Worst OF u as Usual and
Proceedings For Divorce
are Threatened.

Vu NHVW tHWt uiuluCT VIII Uc
here tomorrow, said Mrs. Bowser
at dinner the other evening.
"ies, ] remember" replied Mr..
Bowser, "and shall be glad to see
her. IL all mothers.in.law had been
like her. the funny men couldn't
have worked of single joke about
it,"
"She will have The side bedroom
UPSTAIRS"
"All right"
"But as tho furnace doesn' seem
to heat that room sufficiently !
thought I'd put mp small stove.
"Thars the correct thing, my
dear"
"rhe girl got the stove up there
this afternoon, but she couldn put
the pipe together"
"Just so, Mrs. Bowser, and you
want mo to do it. All right"
I'll was gong to ask you to
telephone to stove man"
"What forY When the time
comes that can't jerk three or
four lengths of stove pire together,
I'd better retire to an asylum"
"But you--you -"
"Will lose my temper, eli ? Not
much I'm as placid as n mill.
pond and could set up 40 joints of
stovepipe without u wink. II all
husbands were as calm and good
natured as ] am, this would by II
far better world, Mrs. Bowser. I'll
trot up and fix things and be down
again inside Of five minutes"
Mr. Bowser reached the room
mentioned to find three Joints of
pipe and an elbow awaiting him.
lie threw off his coat and picked
up two of the joints. All ends
were exactly Of the same size. He
changed ends, but found them the
same. He placed the three joints
IN line, but the same fact was still
apparent. He was pondering over
it when Mrs. Bowser entered the
room and handed him the hammer
and said
"You may need this. One end
must be squeezed into tho other, Of
course. Ii you think you can't"
"Mrs. Bowser, what did | come
up here for ?"
"To put up the stovepipe, dear. "
Exactly. l know how to do IL.
I'm going to do IL. | was squeez.
ing stove pipe together before you
was born. was simply wondering
If the man who invented stovepipe
was a fool or q lunatic. I'll be
down in minute"
when size had gone he dropped
down on his knees and began work.
ing at two joints. There was some
thing wrong-just trifle some
where. II he squeezed at one spot,
u bulge appeared in another. When
he tapped with the hammer on one
side, the other Immediately dis
played Il cantsnkerous disposition.
There are six ends TO three joints
Of stovepipe.
Mr. Bowsef counted them and
was perfectly satisfied Of this fact.
Three Of the ends ought TO have
fitted into the other three, but they
were mulishly obstinate. He was
trying to st tho elbow somewhere
between tho three joints to see il he
could not break the combination
and hit q prize chrome when Mrs.
BOwser entered again.
care you having trouble ?" she
asked.
"Not a Bit. was Just expert
mentiDg little. As you are only
IN the way, you'd better 60 down.
III want your valuable assistance,
I'll call yoo."
Mr.. Bowsor's face was streakcd
with pcfspration and CRIME. His
shirt sleeves had wiped of = goodly
portion Of tho stove blacking. Even
The back Of bis neck seemed TO have
come in contact with the pipe. NJ
ter Slrs, Bowscr had gone he tried
the elbow on the JOINT which be had
mentally marked exhibit A."
No 20. Tf,en re tried il on "Rx-
hibit b." No go. Neither end "
"EShibit g" would At in or fit over.
He hammered the end Of ono Joint
in and Of the other out, but wo've
all been there. Mr. Bowser was