The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1895-06-20
TRIBUNETS.

Nothing beats n trial to demonstrate the fslly
of crankism. The late sd Congress was
illustration OF this. II was an aggregation of
the most talented yawpers in the country. and
its performances are remembered with a shud-
der. A lot Of the disciples of Edward Bellamy
went from Australia to Paraguay to put his
ideas" into practical operation. They estab-
lished a model colony away off in the country,
all by themselves, where they could do just as
they pleased, unfettered by "tyrannical laws"
and uumolested by blood sucking capitalists"
Those who able to get away are now fee
ing as from plague spot, and tell terrible tales
of the life they were compelled to lead
Life: Would you smoke cigar if gave
yon one7"
20. I guess SO. smoke those my wife gives
me-"
Tho way rich Americans are emu ing COL
leges makes it pretty sure that future genera
tons will not lack opportunities for higher
education. In spite of the froshing of PoPu-
lists and Anarchists the rich man in America
seems to be an unusually public spirited, gen.
erous sort of fellow, who is animated by q
strong desire to do good to his country and his
ellow-eitzens
II the New Workers keep on increasing the
hight of their buildings they will soou have to
hang their Iightning-rods point downward
from the caves.
Carl Brown has married Gen" Coxey's
daughter. Good thing. There was danger
that be might spoil same other family.
80
Troubles come to Mayor Strong in various
forms Last week his Office was entered By
couple who desired to be married. The lady had
q mind of her own, and was determined that
she would not promise to obey" which she
denounced as a relic of barbarism." The
Mayor yielded and said: ITO love and honor
as faithful woman is bound to do"
The man who is afraid to fight anyone else
is the one who goes home and pounds his wife.
Probably it's on the same principle that China
is jumping on the missionaries.
The alarming report comes that natives of
Cincinnati. o., are universally and abnormally
bow-legged. At least the men are, and when
this fact is stated people remember that Gin
cinpati women have never taken the least in
terest in boomers, either at their first intro
duction or their more recent revival. Rather,
Cincinnati women have always been active in
denouncing such an innovation on the female
costume. Again, nobody can recall ever hay-
ing seen real Cincinnati girl in a ballet
troupe To many these facts are conclusive
that the female form in Cincinnati has suffered
in the same way as the male. Various reasons
have been assigned for this physical endemic,
SO to speak. One is that it is caused by the
elm bling of tho hills upon which the suburbs
are built. But If this were so the people of
Pittsburg sould be much more bow-legged
than those Of Cincinnati, since their hills are
much higher aud sleeper. But it has never
been said that Pittsburgers were generally
formed like the celebrated Mr.. Pumbleehook,
whose legs were so semi-eircuar that they
framed in large portion of the landscape be-
hind him as he approached you. / have never
seen any charge that Pittsburgers had their
pantaloons cut by circular saws, or that Pitts.
burg.mothers fitted their children's garments
over pair of ice tongs. This may be SO,
though, aud not have heard of it. The matter
comes up now on appeal by some Cincinnati
mothers for the City to provide heaps of sand
covered with awnings, for play grounds. They
claim that the bow-leggedness is caused by the
children jumping about SO much on the hard
pavements and that sand heaps would remedy
the evil. / shall wait further developments
with interest
John L. Sullivan wants to go into the hotel
business John would make landlord of the
type that Bret Harte describes who, hearing
that a tenderfoot guest wanted quail on toast
aud cream in his coffee, walked into the dining
room with big six-shOoter and persuaded the
guest that hash-stew was the bealthiest kind
of food, and coffee tasted much better without
anything in it but plain brown sugar.