Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1895-08-29
pat you to death in some slow, tortu.

GUS way"
had now brought the boys, drag
ging their feet along the lawn, up be-
fore my wicker chair. knew that as
soon as / let go of them they would
bolt, but 1 did not think they would
succeed, because, lying on my chair
was a cane with hook on the end of
it and / thought might induce the
boys to stay even after had let go OF
the coat.
My surmises proved to be correct, for
when let go of one boy to pick up my
cane he bolted, but by the crook I
caught him by the foot and he fell on
the grass.
''It's no use," said to him. You
can't get away, and if you did would
slaughter you before you could get
over the back fence, so you had better
stand the racket peaceably and quiet
ly. You rang the bell and evidently
wanted to see me. Now, here you are.
What is it you want?"
/ sat down in the chair with the
stick handy to prevent any attempt at
escape, and the boys stood before me.
II didn't ring the bell," said one of
the boys.
"Yes he did," said the other,
"twasn't me-"
"You're liar" said the other, and
before l knew it they had clinched fin
gers in each others hair, and were
swearing horribly and tossing about
the lawn in free fight. The table
went over before could prevent it.
Here, you young ruffians," / cried,
''are you going to fight on my lawn?"
l tried to separate them and sue
ceeded after some strenuous efforts,
and stood them on their feet again.
The little fellow was game to the back
bone. / knew that by the way he
struggled and scratched and fought
when dragged him over the fence.
He drew his hand defiantly across his
nose and glared at the other, who stood
looking as if he had gotten the worst
of the tussle.
"Now, boys" said, "you must be-
have yourselves and answer my ques-
tions:
(Which one of you rang the bell?"
Both of them answered simultane-
ously:
"He did, sir" And the little one said
strenuously to the elder: You're a
liar" and then threw himself on top of
the elder and began to pummel him.
inserted the crook of the stick be-
hind the little ones collar and pulled
him off.
You young villain, stand up" l said.
snow don't be so ready to call each
nthar- 1iurc INIT n questions
What is your name"
"His name," said the younger, nod
ding toward his companion, sis Chin
my Fadden."
Hes liar" said the elder; "that's
his own name"
mo, it isn't" said the younger.
You're a liar" passed between them
simultaneously, and in moment they
were at it again, and rolling about on
the grass, screaming and using the
most horrible language.
I tore them apart and stood them
once more on their feet, and said to
the smaller one:
You little rascal, if you call him
liar again, or if you pitch into him
again, I'll thrash you with my cane.
DO you underStand?'
"You daren't do it," said the small
boy. MY father had a man fined for
striking me with stick"
"Oh, did hep" / said; land who is
your father, and where does he live?
I'll go with you and give him chance
of finishing me; but I'll have the value
of the fine out of you in the first place,
and don't you forget it."
By this time the neighbors, hearing
the fearful language, and the noise Of
conflict, came to their windows, and
evidently thought had hired two rag
amuffins from the streets to set them
at fighting each other. 1 saw that if l
did not speedily get rid of the two
young villains was going to lose the
respect of the entire suburb.
"Now." continued to the younger,
''tell me your name and where you
live"
"His name is Smith," said the other,
land he lives in the Lovelace road"
Hes liar" said the elder, where
upon the youngster spatted him in
stantly on the mouth, and they were
at it again. There was no need to tell
me he was liar, for / knew the
Lovelace road was the most aristocrat-
ic road in the neighborhood.
The screams of the combatants rent
the air and when once more separated
them the nose of each was bleeding.
In the silence that followed the COM
bat was made aware, by the remarks
1 heard through the fence, that a
crowd had gathered and were listening
to the struggle, evidently thinking,
from the sounds that reached them,
that a family difference of some in
tensity was raging behind the wall
The bigger boy was blubbering and
rubbing the blood from his nose all
over his face, and making a most re-
pulsive object of himself. The younger
was glaring scornfully at him, and APP
parently ready to spring at his throat
at the slightest provocation.
My greatest desire in life now was to
get rid of these two most Objectionable
citizens. I flung away my stick and
said:
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