Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1895-12-04

':Ths happy man sings at his work."
But-drives tho others crazy.
ATLANTA Constitution.
Prisoner-"Whnt, that man is going
% defend met Why, he couldn't bring
IN innocent person throughv'-Flie-
yends Blaetter.
81 cannot vote" she walled. "Neither
.an the baby" said he. but that does
1T alter the fact that he is boss. In.
ilanapolis Journal.
TON has proposed. and asks me to
rive him his answer In n letter" "Shall
Tou do itT' mo: will be more liberal
md give him his answer In two letters" I"
-Harper's Razar.
Wallace-"How did you feel the first
lime you got into n BARRIERS chair for a
shave" Ferry-"To tell the truth
lbout 1t, 1 felt like a bare faced fraud"
Cincinnati Enquirer.
James-"Is Miss SNOWFALL a graduate
If Vassar? William-"She is" II
thought she was. l heard her ask II
.hc muzzle Of gun was to prevent 1t
going off."-HudsOn Register.
Mowler-'T see some philosopher says
that the way to cure yourself Of love
affair is to run away. Do you believe
II" Cynicus-"Certninly you run
away with the girl. Truth.
Now the coal dealer fears. good soul
As winter draweth nigh,
Thsre'll be n scarcity of coal
And prices will be high.
Boston Courier.
Burglar-"Open you mout' an I'll
kill yery' Mother-"Coward! Only
for one thing I'd raise the house."
watts dat?' I'D be certain to wake
the babyr'-ChicaGo Record.
Blobbs-"Did you hear about the duel
between De Tanque and Old Soak
They fought with pistols" Slobbs-
Were they loaded" Blobbs-"No, not
the pistols. s."-Philadelphia Record.
Harry cannot offer you wealth,
Marie: my brains are all the fortune l
possess" Marie-"Oh. Harry. II you
are as badly of Ms that. I am afraid
papa will never give his consent
Scribner's.
She Ito her fiance)-'T heard an old
lady pay you a great compliment yes
terday." He-"Quite natural. What
was itr' she-"She said you must be
very bright man to attract me as
you did."-Truth.
Mr.. Spinks-"Well, Willie, has your
sister made up her mind to go to the
concert with me? Willie-"Yep. She's
made up her mind and she's maxim up
ute."-Great Divide.
Mr.. Hugglns (entering parlor with
Miss Klssam on his arm)-I have just
had a taste Of Paradise; I've been to
-FOUR conservatory, major. The Major
Yes, notice you got some powder on
-FOUR nose getting it-Yonkers States
man.
We would not house the gathered
sheaves,
If fortunes lights would fash
And sweet October's golden leaves
Would pass for current cashl
ATLANTA Constitution.
"You can see for yourself that these
goods are marked down." said the sales
man, pointing to the altered price
marks. "They appear to be all marked
up," replied the customer. as he looked
MT the many hieroglyphics.-Yonkers
Statesman.
Good-looking Young Girl-Win you
do something for me. Mr.. B? with
pleasure, my dear Miss A. What Is
ItY" "well, wish you would propose
to me 80 that may crow over my cou-
sin. promise I won't accept you."-
Fliegende Blaetter.
The dressmaker's maid In a chic gown
arrayed
May the heroine be Of her dreams;
But, except when asleep. she must sew
and not reap,
For she never can be what she seams.
Harlem Afe.
"Johnny," called his mother. quit
using that bad language" why" re-
piled the boy. shakespeare said what
I Just did" ''Well." replied the moth
Pr. growing infuriated, you should quit
going with him-he's no companion for
vou."-New York Herald.
How often Dame Fortune looks on us
aslant
We think Of this life but to rue II,
With its women who want to be voters
and can't,
And the swells who can vote and
won't do It
-washington Star.
Boy ION the stump. who has been pa
tiently watching the strange angler for
about an hour)-You amt caught any
thing, ave yer? Stranger-No, not yet,
nv boy. Boy-There wasn't no water
In that pond till it rained last night
Los Angeles Herald.
Mr. Slaveserf Ito his wife)-Clara,
wish you would tell Bridget not to cook
the biscuits quite 80 brown in future.
Mrs. Slaveserf-Why, John, what are
you thinking Off Bridget and haven't
been on speaking terms since that
morning I forgot myself and spoke has
lily to her when she broke that old
china saucer had had 20 many yearS
-DaGoea XAnGcE1Dt