The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1895-07-18
THEAD. SIGN PAINTER
ONE OF THEM RELATES CHAPTERS
FROM HIS EXPERIENCE.
How He Managed to Advertise ON the
Walls of Fort Sumter when the Bees
objected-Let Farmer Blow His Steam
of-The obliging steamboatman.

Objected-Let Farmer Blow His Steam
of-The obliging Steamboatman.
The experience of sign painter at
Fort Sumter makes diverting story:
You see. | got darky to take me
over from Charleston III one of those lit
tie boats that they sail down there closer
to the wind than anything l ever saw
before. The fort was unoccupied except
by an old soldier, who showed me all
over the place Have a drink, corporate
said | to him after awhile. No objec-
tons, said he and we walked and talk
ed a little further Pretty lonesome
here, eh. sergeant Very, indeed. an
swered the old duck. warming to me as
l brevetted him a grade higher every
two or three minutes.
All, sai& |, its tough old biz,
the army. ain I II, lieutenant?' Faith,
and it Is upon me life. said he
We'll, | brought lily 4lask out again
and pressed it upon him Now. look
here captain said |. You don I mind
me painting sign around the old fort,
do YOU Not bit, my son. Paint as
much rs We PLACE he answered quite
willingly. and away | went to work,
finishing the lettering before spndown.
THAT little business nearly got me
into trouble, and | left Charleston III a
hurry. Nearly as bad was the time was
painting on beehive | was walking
along the railway track with my pots
Il,
was III AL position. bound to be seen by
everybody IN the trains. | stole up to ] t
and slathed on the paint, taking care
not to make much noise Buzz One
little fellow came to look at me. then
another, then another and then a score
or more all ut once. They didn't seem
to object-in fact, seemed to admire the
richness of the coloring-hut III singing
my leg over the top of the hive | upset
my can of turpentine, and not one bee
in the crowd would listen to word of
reason. was laid up for a week or two
after that, but | Gan be quiet long. 1t
ain t i'll me to be still. I'm an out and
out Yankee, and it warns my heart to
be off with the paints, and 1T ain t in
cumhent upon me HOW.
He added this with complaeent and
pregnant glance at his massive watch
chain and jeweled sleeve buttons, which
indicated no little prosperity.
when anybody gets his back up at
me, just let him blow his steam off,
and then / talk to him, he continued.
Down in Maryland one day | Was
painting fence, and a fellow working
in field near by hollered out Hi Git
away from that var fenceN let ON not
to hear him. You GIT now the old
man shouted once more, hut ! dahhed
and dabbed away as industriously as
ever You won't, won t YER said he,
and then he came for me with pitch
fork III his hands Folks i'll Maryland
are generally pretty much in earnest
when they are mad, but | didn t move
an inch He have lifted me like a
piece of toast if | had and instead of
toast it would have been roast for me.
Il looked as mild and innocent as
could, shaped out the letters and held
my head back now and then as if to
study the effect. Don't you like it?'
said | as he got up to me. Well, he met
me with some high seasoned expostu-
lations; but as told you, l never in
| terfere with man when he's blowing
off steam; it ism t safe. The pitchfork
did not look salubrious, but | held to
my work, and as | was finishing ii he
began to cool off and at the same time
to take an interest in the sign. Got "a
family said l. Yes, said he Young
uns. too, maybe, Yes, said he again.
Well, now, said l, ain It you ashamed
of yourself to let your temper get the
better Of you i'll tins way Think of the
bad effect ON your children. But I'll
paint it out. No. leave it on stranger ;
/ like it, he answered, and we went
over to the house together, which proves
that when a mans blowing off it's best
not to sit ON the safety valve.
Il went up the Mississippi with old
Captain feathers III the Natchez, with
her smokestacA painted crimson to
signify that they would be burned red
hot before she would be passed, and at
the first landing | set to work on all the
rocks. The old captain was immensely
tickled with the idea. Look at the
darned YankN he cried to the passen-
gers. How long before you start, cap
shouted l. Wen wait till you get
through, he answered and he did the
same thing at every other landing. But
the newspapers have made such an out
cry against the Dissertation Of nature, as
they call it, that law forbidding it
has been passed in some Of the states,
and, on the whole, rock painting is dis
couraged by our patrons, who think it
spoils the sale of their articles Chi
cago Times Herald