The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-06-05
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Many people can do worse than read
spring poetry. They might write it.
philadelphia Times.
Strawber---"Was her father willing
to help you outP' Singerly---"T That's
the way he acted. "--.Brooklyn Life.
"Tom, whom did you say our friend
Lawley married?" "Well, he married
$40, 900. l forgot her other name"
It'd Bits.
do you think the new boarder is
permanent?" eyes, indeed He threat.
ems continually to leave. "---Chicago
Inter ocean.
He---'1'm awfully in love with her,
but I wouldn't have her know it for
the world" She $50 she told me-"
Pail Mall Gazette.
"Oh, doctor, how do you do? You
look killing this evening"" "Thauk
you; but Pm not; I'm off duty, you
know. "---Brooklyn Life.
"Oh, my dear Mrs. -, how glad I
am to see you. 1t is four years since we
met, and you recognized me immedi-
ately?" "Oh, yes; [ recognized the
hat"
Tommy AskeI---'Now, if you was to
git to be artist, what would you
like to draw?" Andy Quick
check on the bank. PHILADELPHIA
Inquirer.
First Boarder-" What's the star
boarder making all that hubbub about
over that berry pie?" Second Board
tgI ha f,,,,,1
Syracuse Post.
Squildig-"He's a great criminal
lawyer, isn't hep" McSwilligen-
"Well, I believe he always stops short
of actual criminality." - Pittsburg
Chronicle Telegraph.
"Say, Jack, what is the capital of
Switzerland" Jack (who has Just re-
turned from abroad) "Why, the
money they get from travellers, of
course. boston Bulletin.
Figgs-"My! but isn't that pic
ture?" Fogg Quite stylish. But
what is it? Looks rather large for u
piano lamp, and rather too small for
woman. Boston Transcript.
She-''So the counts relatives con-
slider it mesalliance?" He-'De-
cidedly. Tho girl has only quarter
of million, and the count owes three
times as much as that. Judge.
Professor Ito his wife) -"Elise, I
have promised to deliver an address
tomorrow evening on the rational ex-
ercises of the memory. Don't let me
forget about it. "-Fliegende Blaetter.
Gussy-"Why do you 50 persist
emily wear the hair of another woman
on your head?" Beatrice For the
same reason that you wear the skin of
another calf on your feet. The Great
Divide.
Goutran burst like a whirlwind in
upon his friend CASTOR. "Will Won
be my witness?" "Going to fight?"
"No, to get married. CASTOR latter
a pause) Cant you apologize?"--
Los Angeles Herald.
Her---''John, do believe the baby
has swallowed your collar button"
Him-"It won't take long to find out,
If he has he will be trying to crawl uu-
der the bureau in a few minutes. -
Tribune.
Wife Ito unhappy husbanD-"I
wouldn't worry, Johu; it doesn't do
any good to borrow trouble. Husband
-'Borrow trouble? Great Caesar, my
dear, l amt borrowing trouble; Iyo
got it to lend. - Colorado Sun.
Stern Parent-"You tell me that
you love my daughter aud wish to
marry her. But how do you expect to
live on $500 year?" Loving Swain
-"Oh, come, now, your income must
be more than that !'--Boston Tran
script.
Nell-'Do you know, l was all
alone in the conservatory for ten min
ltes with that fascinating Charles Ful
.erton last evening, ana l was 80
afraid. " Belle-"!So afraid Of what?
Afraid he was going to propose to
you?' Nell-"No; afraid he wasn't"
-Somerville journal.
Mr.. Shandy ipetulautly from his pill
ow) ETHEL, know | heard II noise.
I'm sure there's woman in the house.
won't sleep wink unless YOU 60
Town and see. Mrs. Shaudy (exit
With reyolyer) "Blamo it all, Willie,
I you bother me like that again, III
end you back to your father. Nav
FORK Herald.