Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1895-12-25

4ouu6 american STOOD. or rather walk
ed, a portion of the time in front of
the Care du NOrd, waiting for the train
from Brussels. which was niHre than an
hour late. As he paced up and down
he became aware of the fact that an
other. too. was pacing up and down.
by and by the second man so arranged
II that the paths of both conyerged.
At length the stranger said:
Bon SOir."
The young American had grappled
sufficiently long with the French Ian
guage TO be able TO translate the saluta-
ton Having digested it mentally, he,
TOO. said Bon soir," although it may
have sounded like "bung sour"
'VOuS etes Americana"
"OUi somewhat suspiciously.
Eet ees vat / say to myself. Eat
clothes, he ees American. He ees vair
moOch bettair Zan re Francois or re
Anglals. Paree ees vair gay at re pres
ent. l spik re Inglees after re one
long stay in Londres."
Yes. said the American in a non
cOmmittal tone of voice. wondering in
Wardly what was coming next.
You hat seen mOOch of Paree? Om?
You like Paree? Oui? You like to see
more of zee citee re citee. pardon. vat
you call re under. re under, ze-oh, 1
hat forgot ~ word"
It's beautiful city. New York can
give 10 pointer or two.
Pardon? All. Oui. oui. pOintair.
VAR good, vair good. Ha, ha. Ell re
zhenueman would prefair to see re
ozer sights I should be crafty to be
MS sairyant My carte, sill vous
plat"
This card bore the usual inscription,
10 the effect that the owner was cou-
rier. that he knew more about Paris
than the project of police. and that his
terms were reasonable. The American
was now in the humOr TO be amused.
and he inquired the terms upon which
the courier purSed his vocation.
VAR cheap. vair cheap. monsieur"
said he. eagerly and hungrily VAR
cheap. Eef day work. eet ees one franc
feefty re hour. Eef night. Get ees one
franc feefty re hour. Eet ees not easy
20 show re Paree by night without lose
mOOch sleep"
81 suppose so, - replied the American.
You would like ze sairvees of re
courier? AT what hour l make me to
begeen? I show you re grand Paree at
night. Re Moulin Rouge, re place vat
YOU call re pancake. re Quarter Latin;
all vat YOU want. l hat re one great
honor 10 be the courier vat accompany
your deesteegueeshed Martin Twain.
You ran around with Mark Twain
too Why. you're the third man in a
week that's sung me that song.
don'a want any courier"
"Eet cannot be; eet ees somewhair
mOOch fraud I am re onlee Martin
Twain courier l haf-'
The American waited to hear no
more. Bustle at the arriving side of
the station indicated that the belated
train was coming. and he left the third
courier of IT, Twain 10 his thoughts
However. there was another
He stood right in front OF the en-
trance TO the Cathedral of Notre Dame
How in the world he came TO get out of
the beaten track of the hotels the
young American could not understand.
But there he was. He was short and
dumpy and his breath was irritating
with the OdOr of new mOwn garlic. He
did not beat around the bush. He came
10 the point at once. The young Amer
lean and his wife We're about TO enter
the cathedral He stepped In front of
them and offered his card. Il stated
that his name was NJ. Maurice Fauver.
His terms we're easy and his paths
paths OF peace. for he knew everything
that any tourist could possibly want to
know. Furthermore. one little line in
the lower corner said that he was the
official courier of Michael Twain. the
great American writer.
Sir. or monsieur. or whatever and
whoever you may be" said the young
American in his mOsJe grandilOquent
tones. 81 don't know Mike Twain I
am not an American. You have made
a mistake. You should have given me
a card that said that YOU were official
courier 10 Queen Victoria. Then YOU
might have got away with your bluff -
He swept proudly by with his wife
and left the official courier to Michael
Twain suffering with the volubility
of an enraged parrot and filling the i'm
mediate neigh bOrhOod with microbes
and bacilE Of garlic.
The next it happened was at the
royal palace at Versailles. The young
American and his wife had scarcely
entered the vestibule when a decorated
official approached with a card in his
hand
by the whiskers of Gen. Grant. are
they everywhere shrieKed the young
American to his wife in a stage whis-
per Then ne gritted his teeth and
said under his breath, "Ill fix this
one.
He walked to meet the decorated Off
cial with the prOffered bit of paste
board and said:
Glad to meet YOU. Knew you the
moment I laid eyes on you. Let's see;
you're the best courier in Paris or Yer
sailles or wherever We are, and you
were the official courier to Marcus
Bozzaris Train when he made his last
visit through Paris. Am l not right?
But the decorated man said. "Je ne
comprends pas. Votre parapluie, sill
vOus plat
The young Americans wife. who
knew vastly more about French than
he did. came to the rescue with a wild
dash:
You big goose, he's not courier, -
she said. That's the custodian of the
palace. and ne wants your umbrella so
that you won't go pOking it at the pict-
ures all over the building That piece
of pasteboard is your check. Which
was a "horse." as they say in Chicago,
on the young American.
All the above was brought wildly to
mind by reading a paragraph in a
-. -Lo orIar rl1v which 81 id