New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1895-02-24
HOME AND SOCIETY,".
THE SORROWS OF THE DEBuTANTE.
At DANCE WITH 80 PARTNERs-How THE
cr,prpox s1.FFERs-A NCEsEMAIDs Be
IIEFs-FRENCH FAsHloNs-fi'hIlf
MISS WILLIAMS.

800 " $500, .r,i,in, endurance under torture
is heroic" remarked young woman OF society
-, -, 10. ..,ben the gir.s should be crowned
,., -, so~ no one knows or can ever realize
tho aoonv OF apprehension We ehdnre before each
e,,ccassivo ball until either We become acknowi-
o5co, belee or age brings the phiosopnic mind
.a,sa ~ lunor comes to our rescue. IT Is
,.t,o,,. cruel for timid young things be har-
s1 win the fear. whether absurd or rot OF
noi,g alone and neglected in a crowd. Humane
rnotrors should try to find some remedy for state
~ things which IS ridiculous and uncvilized.
shall never forget my first big dance as .ons as |
1--we, Mamma. who spent her entire time In the
nursery and had not beer out for years, gave me
a comng-out tea. and then turned me over 10
papa He has always been clubman and has
strong social tendencies and seemed quite pleased
roor doluded dear. at the prospect Of taking me
10 the 'Patriarchs which the family decided was
to he my first pJbnc appearance.
I'VE all unsophisticated about II! oi
| know now that clever and worldly-wise
mothers arrange for their daughters well-being by
divers and sundry methods. \ young people
dinner from which the who.e party go on AFTER
ward the ball. is capital plan: or enlistns 'he
aid of two three masculine frends 10 SCI
girl going: or having her at least attend ua','-
ins-class the winter before. where she can MAKE
,saeul friends and overcome her natural shyhcss'
These are only a few Of the many suggestions
might make to those who wish 10 Id""'" 90
successfully. But for me nothing ""''V w
,oap dono nv parents never realizing the neces-
si,v or that their dearly beloved daughter required
ON, o,b.r recommendation than her face ana her
family For weeks before my DEBUT IL was inc
creat tonic OF the 9ousehod. Papa Kept JOKING
me about my partners; mamma was IN constant con-
su,tation with the dressmakers about my irocAs'
and the children made promise 10 bring them
hack lots OF favors from the cotillon. And when
the eventful evening arrived. and stood arrayed
for conquest in my lovely new gown. all simmer
ing and white ! never had Qualm OF missiVins
but felt like princess entering her rEhtiui 40
main. Ny courage evaporated somewhat when
saw the great ballroom and sea OF strange faces;
but made my courteses nicely to the ladies who
were receiving. and then stood by papa for while
enjoying the brilliant scene.
1T was some time before | realized that part
ners were lac king
Papa began to fret first Bless my heart. child
he said TESTIFY. why don't you dance Girls al
ways so of and dance at balls
How can l. papa. If no one asks me- an
swered. almost tearfully.
Wei. cheer up. cheer up he continued impa-
tently NO one will want to dance with you if you
look like funeral Oh here is Tom Smith, ne IS
a dancing Hello. Tom, | want 10 introduce
YOU to my little girl; this is her first ball There
upon little bald fat, old man bowed to me
politely murmured fen commonplaces-and
then passed on. 1t funny TO see papa's face as
he looked after him in amazement. 'Beastly little
cad" he calculated. AT the club he would nave
been proud to have been spoken to-
by this time there was move for supper and
the room began thinning out rapidly. Papa stood
beside the picture OF despair and dare say
/ looked even more forlorn.
"Iet us 20 home ] suggested. dejectedly
How can We? he returned. almost anSr.IY l
did not order the carriage before two. Come alonS
YOU poor little chicken, he continued. soitenins as
he saw my woebegone face. a glass OF wine ard
80 ha fnnE me 4
TO the supper-room where. happily. ne found
an old lady whom knew and beside whom
ne deposited while ne went OH 10 re-
fresh his inner man and brace up foI the
next act. When went upstairs again the couI-
Ion was commencing. and OF course ] had 10
mariner By that time my one thought to get
home and have a good cry. and was more thank
ful than words say when papa told me to 20
to the dressing room and get my things on. 1T
orally had been introduced TO a soul, except
Mr. Smith. ard had not danced once Ii was TO
fun either returning home after my Waterloo and
hearing the comments and enduring the commits
GRAFTON Of the family the next morning
But mamma is a person OF resource, and rose
nob,y 10 the occasion. She com;oried me- sootheH
papa and ORGANIZED a succession OF nice little ain
ners:-not only that. but she got couple OF even
ing gowns and went out with me. renewed old
acouain,ances and managed so cleverly thac be-
fore the winter was had large circle Of
friends and vas having lovely time. But ii was
poor papas first ard last ball as far as was con-
cerned; he has never recovered from the effects OF
that humilia.ing evening. and never VIII
The debu;antes and younger women are not the
only sufferers by any means from the existing
social conditions and requirements OF a big ball
Even matrons OF assured position feel unpleasant
doubts about their chances OF supper-chances for
which they are utterly dependent upon masculine
favor or chivalry. Many men. through an eAag-
Grated fear II being what they call stuck pre-
tend not to old friends who obviously
need the conventional aogis Of their protectioh'
and not infrequently these good danes 90 hungry
rather than compromise their sense OF dignity by
making their known. BY walking boldly
unattended. with two others In like plight,
into the supper-room.
II perfectly absurd that boy OF twenty
may bring relief and solacc In such prcdicament
to a woman Of fifty. that the distinctions OF
sex should be unfair in a ballroom. in this
age OF progress and enlightenment. OF course the
women have only themselves 10 blame in this mat
ter. a little concerted action by the leaders OF
society would bring freedom and relief from such
ridiculous unwritten salic avs; and it remains
commentary on the sehshness OF those who know
that they cal command attention. and who make
no effort to effect reform which IL much
needed. that they allow a humiliating condition TO
exist.
eyes madam" said the neat, pretty. refned-ook
Ing maiden Il am very fond Of children and get
with them nicely, and should be very glad to take
the situation
The young mairon who had been questioning
various applicants for the position OF nurse 10 her
SINAI! child looked approvingly at this one. she was
trim and sensible in attire her voice gentle per
eyes honest and sincere. her whole appearance
was intensely respectable. her references were ex-
oelent
is this a treasure which before me-"
thought the mother OF the small child; and the
nursery at the moment seemed full Of pleasant
ness and peace
but ought to tell you. Madam" went on the
soit voice. that a Christian Scientist
j don't wish interfere with the religious beliefs
OF my servants" said the lady
Yes. Madam. buff your little girl were be