The Hawaiian gazette., 1895-09-27

enemies have ssid-now whispered in
the ear of his Attorney General.
"The point is well TAKEN" answered
the astute Attorney General, ut is a
legal question, and the law is with
the lame soldiers
So they all marched along bare
footed to within the usual three miles
of our mutual enemies. And here the
first and, let us thankfully say, the
last blood OF this fratricidal war was
shed. The captain of the brave Ger
man troops was now suddenly and
without warning shot low down on
the bottom of his back; but whether
he did it in attempting to draw his
pistol or replace it in the scabbard his
torians differ. When we laid him on
his face to dress the wound this noble
soldier shed scarce tear. Then the
| President came up, leaning on the
arm Of his favorite Cabinet Minister,
both with swords in their right hands
and beautiful little pink Partisan par
asols in their left. When the Presi-
dent saw how the man was wounded
he promoted him on the spot.
The enemy on the distant noun
tain, suspecting that some one Of the
brave little sharpshooters might have
got lost in the brush, and that we
were grouped together in Cabinet
meeting to determine what was best
to do, suddenly ceased firing and
hoisted the poi flag. Immediately
the President called a Cabinet meet
ing to decide what course Of action
would have the best influence abroad.
OF course, he didn't care about the
President of the United States. but the
Emperor of Germany, one of whose
brave subjects lay there in his own
gore, and "our cousin,n to put it in
diplomatic language, the Empress of
India, and also the Gar of all the
Russias-these must be awed awed
The Cabinet decided that it must
stand on its dignity. 1t accordingly
stood, the Greek root infantry formed
in hollow square around the nurse
maids, bottles and baby carriages as
the fearful half black and quarter
black and freckled and red headed |
non-office holders approached, hay
ing left their rifles leaning against the |
rocks on the mountain side.
General Wilcox, their leader, who |
spends his summers at Newport and |
his winters in Italy because of slight |
cough, now coughed slightly. The
Cabinet was like a rock around the
President-a wave-washed rock, where
waves roar and roll and-but let us sus.
pend suspense. After coughing several
times General Wilcox-sai he should
like to see Attorney General Smith.
Smith blushed modestly and pointed
his silk Partisan parasol up at the
towering President. 1t was enough,
The President raised his par
asol to its full height, and told Wilcox
that he should have to sentence him
to death for a few days. "For see
what you have DONE" said the Presi-
dent, tearfully. "This poor man may
be able to walk about tomorrow, but
ne will not be able to sit up for
month" Wilcox was sorry he cried,
md so the sharpshooters took him
prisoner.
Bearing our wounded we slowly re-
urned from the field of battle through
he great gate and found that the
enemy had preceded us and had sur
'endered as prisoners of war, and all
Isking for an Office if only as police or
o work on the roads. And thus ended
he one and only war of the Hawaiian
Islands. The dead were never num-
,ered, but our wounded was counted
md cared for. He was carriage
trimmer by trade and so the pension
allowed him was not so great as it {
would have been had he been mes.
or anybody else who has
o make his living sitting down.
This war wears the belt as the most
'ivil civil war that was ever fought in
he annals of history, ancient or mod
'rn, on all this CORY globe; and il ever
here is another civil war on these
stands, which heaven forbid, it will
De even more civil than this, for there
5 only one German carriage-trimmer
q Honolulu and he will not again be
equired to carry pistol. He has
lone enough.