Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1895-08-09
1t astllngtun Standard
OINuPIA. t>I.
\ RE>OI RCEFDI. COMEDIAN.
How Ilc Managed to stand OF
Debtor.

" ''"'' ~ ~ 'o' 49,
manager. Harris. fifty pounds. and
the latter had a Judgment for the
amnunt.
Now I'm tired of waiting. said
Harris, As he met Smith some time
ago" and you've got to pay the
money at once. or something will
happen
Why, really" said Smith, with
bland smile, Il haven't got the
money on me, my boy; but -as if
struck with a sudden Inspiration
I'll tell YOU what I'll do. Ill get
it for Won, if You'll come with me"
Where to, and how far"
To the chemists at the corner.
The owner is "A friend of mine, and
will lend me some money. But
we'll have to hurry, as | want to
catch a train.
Conciliated with prospect of
getting his money, the creditor
readily accompanied Smith to the
chemists which they found on their
entrance to be fairly filled with
customers.
Confound it," said Smith, Just
my luck, and | am in a hurry, too.
l must see Mr.. Pills and explain
my Grand"
He stepped forward and went
behind the counter where the
proprietor received him with a
cordial smile. Smith held whis.
pered conversation with Mr.. Pills,
frequently indicating the patient
creditor by a motion of his hand.
Then he called Harris up to the
counter as he hurriedly glanced at
his watch.
Mr.. Pills will fix that with you"
he said. Il must run to catch my
train now. By-bye," and off he
went.
THAT'S all right, sir" said the
chemist, in a kindly tone to the
creditor. Just sit down few
minutes, and l will settle that af-
fair of yours"
Mr.. Harris sat down with a sigh
of relief, and waited 10, Is, 20
minutes. At the end of that time
the chemist joined him, and mo-
toned him to follow into a pri, ate
room, where, after closing the door,
he told him to be seated.
"Now, sir" he said cheerfully,
show long has this affair been so
ing on?"
cts a good deal over a year
now"
"Well, for goodness sake, why
didn't you come to me before? |
could have made it all right for
you"
"How did l know"
"But you might have gone to
somebody else. Anybody in the
business could have given you adj
vice."
advice be hanged. l want
money. l am tired of advice"
but haven't you got money to
pay for advice?" asked the chemist.
cautiously.
Certainly l have. But what's
the use of throwing good money
after bad? I have judgment against
him, and that's enough"
Against whom?"
Against Smith, of course"
"What for?"
What for? Why, for the $3.50
you are to pay me-"
Me to pay you!" calculated the
astonished chemist, rising from his
chair. my friend, what are you
talking about?"
II am talking about my $780,"
Numbered the now wrathful Harris,
land l heard you distinctly say
that you would settle that affair of
mine."
Listen" gasped the chemist;
"are you mad or am l? l don't
know the man from Adam. He
confided to me that you were sui
fering from sleeplessness and
hypochondria, and needed advice
and medicine. He never said a
word about money, but l under
stood from him that you would pay
we'll for the treatment"
Harris crawled out into the
street, went home and kicked him.
self and the chemist has vowed
never to listen to patients by proxy
again.
To GET RID OF STUMPs.-To destroy
stumps bore hole one or two inches
in diameter, according to size of tree,
and eighteen inches deep. Put in
one and one-half ounces of salt-petre.
Fill with water, and plug up closely.
In six months put in the same hole
half gill OF kerosene oil and then
light. The stump will shoulder