The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1895-09-26
SAM JONES' SAYINGS.
EXPRESSIONS SAND
WICKED IN HIS SERMONS.
Slugs of Slang and Wads of Wisdom
Hurled at Winston Salem People by
the Great Evangelist-He Abuses
and Blackguards His Audiences but
They "tiear Him Gladly"
Winston Sentinel.I

tn your pocket and won't give cent.
You ought to get more hair and
snont and tail and 60 to eatin, corn.
There's stranger here One fellow
put in dollar. He don't live in this
town.
1t the devil don't git you, Bud, it'll
be because he don't want you.
The Methodists here pay their pas
tor $500, and the Baptists $1,000.
Guess that's about the right propor-
ton. You see you can ship one third
cheaper by water.
I'd rather be chain gang niger in
the Georgia penitentiary than to be a
methodist that voted for whiskey.
You won't be dead and in hell two
years before Sallie will nave another
fellow sitting on the front porch brag-
ging about marrying your widow.
When see an old maid, l am sure
some fellow amt done his duty. When
l see an old bachelor, l think of a
hog.
Your wife's got as much right to
drink whiskey and get drunk as you
have, you lousy scoundrel.
The girls are as pure as the morn
ing dew, but God pity the crowd
they've got to dance with.
1t one of these dancing dudes is all
right it is the first one l ever saw.
want his picture to show around.
We need some daddies that will
meet the dancing buck at the door
and kick him over the front gate and
Say, Good-by, John.
You girls that don't know anything
but to dance. You'll evaporate some
day and leave some bangs and slippers
on the floor.
like fast horse, but slow gal.
like a drukard better than | do a
close fsted stingy devil. There's hope
for the drunkard. If you get him
sober you may make a man of him.
But if fellows no account, drunk or
sober, the jig's up.
If all hogs had brstles hair mat
tresses would 60 down to $ cents a
pound.
Money makes the filly go. 1t makes
everything 60 that has hair and
makes the bald-headed man go toler-
ably we'll.
Congress got so it couldn't pass
anything-couldn't even pass sa-
loon.
When one of these dirty little law
yers wallows in hell fire he'll say he's
there as an attorney.
If l was running soap factory in
hell and they brought along your car
cass, I'd tell 'em had nothing to deor.
dorize such carcass.
A horse thief is a gentleman beside
the man that votes for liquor.
have only one objection to sa
| loon keeper. The same l have to q
!ouse-he gets his living off the head
of the family.
If you see and old sister that dom
like Sam Jones, it's no sign she's mean
but she's fool. The troubles is abovt
her eyes.
l promised my wife to take car,
of her husband and I'm going tt
do it.
Ifyou can put up with fourteen sa
looms the year round. you've got tt
put up with me a week.
You go around and drink whiske,
and says it's nobody's business. Yo'
are a liar, you scoundrel, you. !
they'd put you up in an ash hoppe
and pour water over you, you'd dri
lye, you dirty dog, you.
If you preachers will hold while
skin, we'll make hides 90 down in thi
market.
Nobody but an Internal fool wi
drink whiskey, nobody but dlsrepu
table person will sell it, and none bu
damnable town will license it.
What have you preachers bee
doing? Shoot, Luke, or give up you
gun.
I'm going to tell you the truth
you lick me three times a day an
send my dead Body to my wife an
children.
Idon't abuse any other denonina
ton except the Methodist. Don
have time. When get through wit
them it's bed time.
You folks that take the front sea
and come TO roost before sundown-
t you ought 70 pay storage.
If had come here for money, ble
: your soul, I'd left after the first CO
, lection.
. I've seen a town where a woma
wouldn't give S., but this the fir
, town where thing with breech
, wouldn't give more than dollar.
$ Every criminal tina, goes unwhi
t of justice is menace TO good citizeI
t ship.
. Lawlessness in town is hot be
| of anarchy.
: Policemen find everything that Il
E sentiment Of the town demands tn.
q shall find.
f If was Mayor c. this town, you
q have to stay at home. old buck.
+ No gentleman will do anything
e denies his wife the privilege Of dom
: Your Uncle Jones lifts the san
9 standard for himself as he does for /
' wife.
propose to 20 you up and put "
S in decent shape, you dirty scoundr'
81 Make Sam Jones Mayer and he