davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-10-21
Wichlta PoIico Forcn Rnhncaa.

WICHITA. Oct. 21.-The board of police
commissioners met Saturday and re-
duced the number of patrolmen from
sixteen to twelve and will make fur
ther decrease to ten if possible. A re-
duction of pay from $50 to $50 per
month will also be made, to take effect
Nov. /.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-10-21
Charges for Carrylns Money Raised.

CHICAGO, Oct. 21.-Ihe announcement
is made today that the express companies
will advance the rate on carrying chr
rency. The most noticeable change is
the rate to New York, " hich has been
raised to 50 cents per $1,000, and to $125
per $1,000 to st. Louis, The officers of
the express companies declare they can
not handle funds proita bly, under the old
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-10-21

SEATTLE, Wn., Oct. 21.-The citizens
of Alaska are greatly exercised over the
boundary line question and propose to
take steps in the matter without delay.
They do not not want TO SEQ what they
term the richest portion of the United
States annexed to British Column ia and
say they will fight before they will see it
taken. 1t is not uncommon to hear the
expression give US ten leagues or we
will fiChtv
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-10-21
CasnDo~ Probably Notansane.

New YORK, Oct.21.-Dr. William Shaw
Bowen writes the New York World from
the ci.Y where he is staying for few
days: "The report from Cuba that Gen.
Campo5 is insane is probably unfounded.
If there has been any departure from the
normal IN Campos' condition the change
has occurred since | saw him a fortnig ut
a1o1
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-10-21
OSMER PARISH INSANITY
The Probate Court Didn't Examine Him
Today, Though He Was Near.

Whether Osmer Parish is insane or
whether his wife is insane with jealousy
is perplexing the probate court Parish
was to have been tried at o'clock in the
probate court for his sanity, but sherif's
people were una BILE to find him. He was
up stairs in the district court room all the
time, and his wife aud child were also
there.
Up to noon the officers had not found
the man. He left the district court room
about II O'Clock and his wife went away
soon afterWard,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-10-21
NEW JOCKEY CLUB.
Prominent NOminators for the Different
Stakes.

Stakes.
LOUISVILLE, Oct. 21.-secretary Price
the stakes of the New Louisville Jockey
club, that closed on the 18th inst. The
showing made is a magnificent one
Three stakes wore opened-ths Ken
lucky derby for 1897, the Clark stakes
and the Kentucky Cakes. With Cali
fOrnia and other remote points yet to hear
from the derby has now 159 entries, the
Clark stakes 1871 and the Cakes ZIG.
Among the prominent nominators are
Ed Corrigan, ". B. McDonough, Charles
H Smith and other equally noted owners
Of running horses.
Peerless Steam Laundry Peerless
Steam Laundry.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-10-21
Subsidy fo- an Atlantic Cable,

LONDON, Oct. 21.-The Times Paris
correspondent says: "The government
will pay annual subsidy of 30, 900 pounds
to the cable company. which is to lay d
new direct cable from Brest to New
York to maintain the existing cable and
to extend it to Autillee.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-10-21

Is what the W. j. Florence cigar is made
Of Two sizes, 10c straight and for 25c.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-10-21

Subscribe for the Daily STATEJoURNAL
Scranton Wochenblatt. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1865-1918, 1895-05-24

5amss Blair, Prdiioent.
Q. 3. Briee. 8Be Brdi
3. 6. Q safer. gafiirer.
u. 3. Blair affift. GofIirer.
Sbeo R. Straub. &eQtr
Sirettoren:
Sames Blair, o. 3. 9riee,
SEQ. 8 Gatlin. SSrart M. Spencer,
U. B. Blair, Sames arhbalo.
B. .. 8euneoD 9epitt s. Blair,
@m. 9. Sisiel. Sas. gB. SafforD
aibrt Elm all9emeines 8anfssid6ft.
Siellt Behiel 3abbar in ,rssno einem 8beiIc
Der Welt aus.
8 1rosent Sntersifsn auf 9epoiitsn besabIt
I'm Sunoibaft rulro ssbeten.
Offen Samitas 9Ibenbs bon 7 Bis 8 nbr.
Scranton Wochenblatt. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1865-1918, 1895-05-24
Dttt8ton.

- Sn Der Mount 2ootout 3ede ,u
Bpomins perIor am Uiitttpp6 Morsen
Der 43 Sabre aIte 1bomas Sinss isin
2eben.
- Dur9 cine Ssuersbrunit in Stir.
merbile am Uli..ipod Wursen UNI l ubr
tuurbsn bier @ebduoe seritbrt t-ein SpteI,
Iiquoritore, @roeerie unb 8obnbaus.
Ser 8erIuit 1T ettpa $4,000
= Dur9 eins @aserpIoiOn i'm Sopt
Sdadt am Montas nurbe an Der inne.
rem @inri&tuns befeIben bsbeutsnber
S6aoen anseridtet, aber sIGdIider
Weife niemanb babel bsrIest. gs pirb
mebrere Gage nebmen, um ben Sdaoen
Su repariren.
= Die 4rmenbebbrbe Bat ii4 burd
foIsenoe 8eamte fur bas Sabr orsani.
iirt: Brdi., Or. 9. 9. Seamans :
S6aBmeiiter, 2ouis SeibeI; Sefr.,
Sames Sones GnpaIt, 6. s. 9oban =;
4erSte, Or. o. llnberpoob unb Or. s.
g. BorteuS: 2eidenfatter, &. 8ouff
SanncOmite, PauI 9Oban unb s. 6,
Ntberton.
-8 Bel elmer Gonferens ;ipif6en Der
Scranton uno Suburban Traction Goms
panic unb bem Susbestoipn 8oroust
Council am Sreitas Abenb ipurbe Elm
sdtlider 8sreIeib seiroffsn unb be,
Sompanie bic @rIaubnib ertbeiIt, an brei
Straben i'm Borough ibre @eIeife su lie.
gen, ndmIid an Center, RaiIrpa6 unt
Parionase StraBen.
-aIS SOiepb @rabIif bon emitbpius
am Samitae nit ieinem WonatsIobn
beimfebrte, tpurbe er bon benz Samuel
Sropn fir Elm Darlsben bon SO ssfrast
ais er abidIus, madte 8rofpn sinsr
Ansriff auf ibn. Sos aber ben 9iireren,
iporauf er NIT einem RaiirmeEer bsm
@rabIit eine lebensssfdbrIids @unbs am
SaIis beibradte.
-9atrid Wc2ain bon Sort Cane er.
belt am Samitus cine 8erIssung bes
6ubes in Der Chapman Wine. e.-Sn be,
GoIton garo erbieIt @orrp 8tunses am
WOntas burd einen faqenben SeIsbIod
cine Seri6IaSene Sanb unb elm Singer
mubte ibm amputirt tperben.-Bbiutt
Bennett bon ber Sunction fieI am Wlon.
tag tpabreno er cine Weibe iteIIte, tpobe
ibm elm i4arfer Stod in ben untsrIeit
brans, cine sefdbrIl&e 8erIssuns bsi'
brin8eno.
Scranton Wochenblatt. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1865-1918, 1895-05-24
Sp6e 0arfer Npttseu.

= 0ie gbeIeute glnton Sorad bon
gforb @perett Npenue iinb Iebte @obe
eurd bic gtntunft zines 5b9terIeins ers
freut tporben.
- Ser 4bsuesfanal an @eit 2adas
tpanna Ipenue 1T nabesu poaenbet, bod
piro es nod einise Seit bauern bis bic
Strabe bon Subrperfen benubt nerben
tann.
- Sobn GonnorS bon SeGops StraBe
itarb Olittipo6 Wiorsen i'm SospituIe.
gr bntte bor etipa 3tpel Wobsn itIimme
Verlebunsen erbalten, ais er an elmer
Sommerfiide arbeitete.
= 9ie iunsen 2eute, tpeIde fiir,Iid
auf bic 8Iase bes DiebifabIs in aepier
Sauep unb anbersn Stabttbeilen ar.
retirt purben, iinb am Dienitas ipesen
Dianse! an 8epeiien tpisber entIailen
tporben.
n@- The Star 8Ieibers unb Sdub.
baus, l33 Benn Ipenue, Elm neues
eeuti6es @eiddft, bittet UNI beuti6e
8unei9aft. gteue reeGe @aarsn-bils
Iisite Preiie,
= Die GbeIeute @sorse St6ber bon
Se6fter StraBe berIoren am Wontas
lbren 5 Woden uno 6 Sage alien Sobn
cur8 ben Sob. Das 8esrdbniB fanb
am 0ienitas i'm 8aibinston 9lpenue
5rieobOfe itutt.
- George 3inteI bat bic 4nsepobns
belt, beim 2ampenfillen bieielben iiber
ben 8obleneimer su baItsn, um ettpa per.
i6dttetes Del in bemielben aufsufansen.
9lm leBten Donneritas ma6te er na6
benz 2ampenfiilen elm Seuer unb aIs sr
&oblen oarauf idittete, fling bas barauf
peri6ittete Del 8ranb unb cine srobe
5lamme idlus ibm ms @eiidt, baiieIbe
in elmer idmer5Ii4en Beiie perbrennsnb.
- auf eisentbdmli6e 8eiie fam bic
5idbrise Rorma Susbes bon pedpile
Su ibrem Sooe. Dis 5amiIie befanb ii6
fir einise Gage gum 8eiud BEL ber
Smith Samilie on SHETLAND Strabe unb
am Sonntas Worsen ipielte bic aIeine
NIT sinem 8allen I'M Sofe, nobel Der
8auen unter einen 8retterieitentpee
route; Norma itedte ibren 8opf stpii6en
cine Oeffnuns, um ben 8aasn beraussu.
bolen ano beim 3uriidsIeben flemmte iie
ibren gals feft, 70 bab iie, obne bic
UlDslidfeit einen Salferuf aussuitoBen,
eleneisli4 umfam. Srau Smith bemerfte
bic furioie goiitiOn, in Der iid Der 86rs
per bes Wdbbens befanb, ba6te aber an
ipeiter nidtS unb erit oils auf ibren Gus
ruf feline 8epesuns erfoIste, tpuroe iie
eri4roten; burd ibren Sdredsnsruf
famen mebrere Nadbarn sur STEELE unb
Sames 8arner, elmer berielben, sos ben
leblofen 8brper berror. Die @orenerSs
Surp, tpeI6e suiammenberufen purbe,
CAB Elm Seroift auf StransuIatior ab.
Scranton Wochenblatt. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1865-1918, 1895-05-24
Don Der Snbfeite.

Dlit benz 8adfsinIsssn fir bic neut
SeiOenfabrii bat man am Isstsn MiOntaf
besonnen.
Die Ninen auf bisier Settle arbsitsr
oieie Wo6e ieben anberen Gag, unftat
orei bintereinanber fOIssnbe Gage.
s@- 8er feline llbr gut reparirt babsr
pia, sebe au benz praftif4en nbrmadsr
@m. 8rpit, $50 gittston 4pe. 1879
Scranton Wochenblatt. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1865-1918, 1895-05-24
Ca6 xbal abmdrtS.

- Die TapIor Ssiben unb Wanufaf.
tur GUmpanie erbieIt Ieste @p6e BON
Staatsbepartement einen 5reibrief; bas
aapitaI 1T s25. 900.
- 8dbreno am Treitas Hadmittap
Batrid Garrett am 8roofiibe 3ulmpd. .
i6er su apoca bei6dftist mar, fiel Elm
9aufen Gulm iiber Jpn unO ebs sr ausses.
rabsntpsrben tonnte, mar er erfidt.
The Bryan daily eagle. (Bryan, Tex.) 1895-1898, 1895-12-10

Peat Ice TO a mush, place be-
tween the folds Of cloth and apply
to The throat, continue at intervals
until the disease is arrested. in
the absence Of ice. cold water will
answer. 80 the same time bake
the patients feet to a dre.
Don't be afraid TO try this rem
edy. / know it Will cure for
have tried 10 often and know whaI
/ say 90 be true
Please give this space 10 YOU
valuable paper Tor few week.
Cor the sakcof suffering humanity
Other papers please copy
! NJ. CoorER,
Dexter, Tex.
The Bryan daily eagle. (Bryan, Tex.) 1895-1898, 1895-12-10

Perry Duncan led--grade 9S. He
made 100 in arithmetic, 20 in algebra
aud averaged 9s in bis examination.
Matte Watson and Tibaut skaips
also made 90 10 algebra.
Kate Briea Il on the honor roll Tor
November.
This grade is doing good work. The
papers we're neatly written, and IN
many respects thoroughly satisfactory.
The class work improves steadily as
.he wear advances. The general inter
est in southern literature Is inereasins'
AID the few southern books IN the
grade library are In great demand.
The Southern Literary club begin the
study Of jefferson Davis Friday after
noon. The newly installed officers
/ have taken hold Of the work with re-
newed energy, aud the members enjoy
the exercises thoroughly.
The Bryan daily eagle. (Bryan, Tex.) 1895-1898, 1895-12-10

We have received a dainty book.
let printed in light blue, salmon.
pink aud gray tones--a splendid
illustration Of the beauties Of art
applied to printing The Ladies'
Home Journal announces some Of
its leading literary and artistic
features for 1896. Handsome en-.
Cravings Of the contributors for
next year appear in tho book and
show the management Of the Jour.
nal has secured the best talent ia
the world, and that the Journal Of
'98 will be better than ever before
The Bryan daily eagle. (Bryan, Tex.) 1895-1898, 1895-12-10

Corbelt says he hopes Maher
will beat Fitzsimmons' brains out,
and that II he don't that he (COr-
bel0 will Gghi Fitz for a shoe
striag if the latter can't raise any
better stake than that. when the
great weary ear Of the public
heard that Corbett had retired il
hoped that it was true-that he
had retired jaw and all. Vain
hopel his jaw is not tired at all.
The Bryan daily eagle. (Bryan, Tex.) 1895-1898, 1895-12-10

William S. Smith, a Grimes
county negro 20 years old and
with a genius for navigation sec
ond only to that Of Columbus, has
a scheme to colonize Africa His
idea is to buy a ship and sail
from Galveston westward, leaving
South America to the left and turn
ing southwark, cross the equi.
noxial line over to Asia and Africa.
The Bryan daily eagle. (Bryan, Tex.) 1895-1898, 1895-12-10

Why are the "sound money"
fellows spending 50 much hard
ash to food the country with ap-
proved literature if ''frce silver is
80 completely fatienei out, and
why are they asking another S25,.
900 for the "bureaug' Do they
want to kin u some mo-e2
The Bryan daily eagle. (Bryan, Tex.) 1895-1898, 1895-12-10
FOLLOW THE
CROWD
to NOrrellS.

The Bowie Cross Timbers re-
marks that W. c. Brann sent the
Duke and Duchess Of Marlborough
\ splendid roast for the wedding
banquet Those who read the
roast in the IconOClast will ap.
preciaie the Cross Timber's pun.
The Bryan daily eagle. (Bryan, Tex.) 1895-1898, 1895-12-10
EDUCATIONAL COLUMN
By PHor T.s. Mlsrrn.

The list Of pupils who led their re-
spec,ive classes during the past three
months is given below. The pupils who
ere on the honor roll, and who made
100 In any study during the recent ex-
animation, are also given. To get on
The honor roll the pupil must make 100
In department, and not less than the
required grade In any study.
By required grade Is meant the grade
required 10 be made in that years
Studies, in order to pass the next years
studies.
This required zade, or per cent, 10
rs In the first second, third and fourth
grades, so in 9Th, sixth and seventh
grades, s. in eighth, ninth and tenth
grades.
The Bryan daily eagle. (Bryan, Tex.) 1895-1898, 1895-12-10
xlxrnaRAnE

wesa weddington led-grade9i ll-lo.
This i the highest grade made In the
high school
win Bell. wesa weddington, Lillian
Parks and Leila Guber are on tae honor
roll Cor November.
Richard Xnoblaueh, Of the tenth
grade. made the only 100 in either ninth
or tenth grade this month, and that
was in algebra.
Nellie smith ed the tenth grade
Nllh ~ l.2.
The Bryan daily eagle. (Bryan, Tex.) 1895-1898, 1895-12-10

The negroes are said to be NOV.
ing out Of Madison county The
climate over there don't agree with
their health.
The Bryan daily eagle. (Bryan, Tex.) 1895-1898, 1895-12-10

Col r. b. Parrott of Waco, is
nominated 10y Texas Resources as
candidate Cor governor. Don't
mention the T. b. A., or his old
friends Of tia, defunct organiza'
ton will rally to his standard with
an enthusiasm that might alarm
the Colonel himself.
The Bryan daily eagle. (Bryan, Tex.) 1895-1898, 1895-12-10

The Texas Sandwich declares
"honest merchants can't compete
with creditors who steal their
goods. and had as we'll close their
doors II Texas continues on her
status books the shame-bege'ting
robbery.abetiing, pfeferred-credi'
tor assignment law.
The Bryan daily eagle. (Bryan, Tex.) 1895-1898, 1895-12-10

The largest congress Of labor
leaders ever held in New York is
now in session there. Delegates
representing nearly one million
union working men are present.
The Bryan daily eagle. (Bryan, Tex.) 1895-1898, 1895-12-10

Mise Kate janell. Of the class Of 'eS'
took the State Normsl examination last
summer, and receiyeda drsi grade state
certificate. good for four years. Many
teachers in our villages and towns, aud
a few In cities. cannot stand this ex-
animation, and the fact that one Of our
pupils passed Il speaks vel for the
pupil ands the high school. Miss Jar
rell Is ambitious, and We expect to hear
from her again.
The Bryan daily eagle. (Bryan, Tex.) 1895-1898, 1895-12-10

The midwinter meetiRg Of superin'
tendents and principals will meet IN
Waco on the 9th and 2Sth Of Decem-
Der. Itis TO be hopva that several Of
the county teachers viii attend this
saihering Superintendent 7. ;. Min
ter has bren appointed a delegate, by
ion. IN. Carlisle, TO the Southern
EDUCATIONAL association, which meets
e. Hot SPRING, Ark, December 81 and
January and ?. As county manager,
he would he glad to have large del
getiOn 20 to Hot Springs. Reduced
abroad fare and hotel accommoia-
tons.
The Bryan daily eagle. (Bryan, Tex.) 1895-1898, 1895-12-10

Leap year note; Women are
impatient Of men who never tum.
ble until brick house falls upon
them,
The Bryan daily eagle. (Bryan, Tex.) 1895-1898, 1895-12-10

There are only ten head Of bui.
falo left "a The national park
The Bryan daily eagle. (Bryan, Tex.) 1895-1898, 1895-12-10

Bradley, The new republican
governor OF Kentucky, was inaug
utaled to-day Cru 'day) Demo-
cratic and republican strength Is
equal IN the legislature, aud The
contes, for the United States sena
torship involved will be no, from
star, TO kAih.
The Bryan daily eagle. (Bryan, Tex.) 1895-1898, 1895-12-10

Congressman will have nothing
to do but twirl their thumbs while
ON duty this session.
The Bryan daily eagle. (Bryan, Tex.) 1895-1898, 1895-12-10

Major Jerome Kearhy seems to
be marked for the populisl guber.
Material sacrifice.
The Bryan daily eagle. (Bryan, Tex.) 1895-1898, 1895-12-10

Alice Wellington led her class
grade So. She made 100 in spelling.
Several pupils IN this grade will be
reduced this week to the sixth grade.
They should not have been promoted
10 the seventh grade. Bat more about
this later.
The Bryan daily eagle. (Bryan, Tex.) 1895-1898, 1895-12-10

The Rockport New IRA says:
"Aran.as Pass bar is getting there
with thirteen feet With this un.
lucky complement Of pedal ex.
tremities. the bar must feel as
awkward as a man learning to
lanra.
The Bryan daily eagle. (Bryan, Tex.) 1895-1898, 1895-12-10

Jacqueiie Rypinski led l'sr class
grade %.
Fannie Reniro Is on the homer roll
for November.
The Bryan daily eagle. (Bryan, Tex.) 1895-1898, 1895-12-10

Algy What a low cut dress Miss
Simpson wear tonight ] declare
lrs cot clcar to iho salsi behind.
She hes courage % wear u.
Freddy Ncs. -hc does exhibit con
siderable backbone Truth
The Bryan daily eagle. (Bryan, Tex.) 1895-1898, 1895-12-10

Chicago. So. Louis SaH Fran
cisco and Piusburg are lighting
Cor the honor of tbs next repuhh-
can national conventions
The Bryan daily eagle. (Bryan, Tex.) 1895-1898, 1895-12-10

knt % 20 t1und.
Cora This IS dreadful place ]
aavoa't seen q man yet
Madgc LIS as bad as Looking
under tho bci for ouV Judge
The Wadsworth dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1892-1899, 1895-02-16
ODDS AND ENDS.

Virginia contained fifth Of the popu-
lation Of the whole country at the close
Of the last century.
Pilot balloons provided with self
registering apparatus have been sent to
a height Of 80, 900 feet.
A United States court recently de-
oided that the author Of painting
might sell 1t and yet retain the copy
right
The largest nailmaking machine in
the United States Is at Everett, Wash.
It was made by firm at Greenpoint,
N. Y, and weighs 1216 tons.
The Wadsworth dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1892-1899, 1895-02-16
.syhas aorne more Of your peoples deadt,

&"Nnns some more OF your peoples deaQt,
sergeantf Let me tell you aboudt dose
shokes. You know dot doorbell man on
Butternut streeti His whole family vhas
burned COP 80 y.ars ago, und he doan'
laugh since till yesterday. Den invite
him to my house to fix my bell, und I
held him cop against der wall while Shake
read him four shokes. Sergeant, ha, ha,
hal"
3 ''Mr.. Dunder. hadn't you better see a
doctor before the disease gets seated on
your systemf"
dot system vhas all K o., und dot
disease may keep right onl Dot doorbell
man turns red und den white, und his
eyes hang oudt, und his hair shtands oop.
Idoan' lot go, und Shake keeps right on
reading, upd pooty queek he vhas oon-
wulsed. He goes ha, ha, hal und no, no,
hol nnd ships down on der floor, und
pledge you her word we haf to lead him
home. neffer saw soooh a teekled man
In all my life before
What tiokled himi" asked the ser
seant as he was ready to go.
Why, dose shokea, of ooursel'
You got OF some jokes, did youP'
I 'Did II Sergeant, see how she vhas
You vhas shealous Of dot comic almanac
You yhas down on mo because vhas no
more hayseeds und greenhorns YOU
i've got to go, Mr.. Dunder
so haf l, und we go along by each
other. AS we 60 along vhill read you
some more shokes."
II haven't time to even listen"
dot yhas shust der same Come along
Now, den, Why vhas a man who picks mp
n rodhot poker like dot animal who mon
keys init der buzzsawa Because-ha, ha,
bal Because''-
And as they turned the corner the SER
geant was stepping off as stiff as a ramrod
and looking as solemn as funeral, and
Mr.. Dunder was working his short legs
for all they were worth to keep beside him
and finish the answer.
The Wadsworth dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1892-1899, 1895-02-16
NO TIME TO LISTEN.
THE SERGEANT TRIES TO REBuKE
CARL DuNoER IN VAIN.
Mr. Dunder Has That Almanac Of His ON
the Brain and Insists Upon Reading Some
OF Its Original Jokes Aloud-A Terrible
Ordeal.

OF Its Original Jokes Aloud-A Terrible
Ordeal.
Copyright, 1895, by Charles B. Lewis
II happened to be down here, und
shust shtep In for minute to see how
you feels"
The fat police sergeant had just dipped
his pen IN the mucilage bottle In place of
the ink and was wiping 1T off in disgust.
After waiting for l5 seconds he looked I'D
and said:
"Oh, it's you, Mr.. Dunderl heard you
had left the countryi'
"Who heard your l vhas right here to
shtay Ii he knows herselfi When l vhas In
der saloon peesness und eaferybody vhas
playing some gum games on me, thought
1T vhas better If | go AWAY, but vhas all
right now. Ha, ha, hnl"
Yes. Have you got the winter work
done on the farm, Mr. Dunderi'
Winter work. Farm? Sergeant, look
at me few times. Don't you remember
who yhas2''
why, you arc Mr.. Dunder, aren T your"
queried the sergeant as he scraped away at
his pen with the blade of his pocketknife.
so vhas Carl Dunder, der man who
couldn't find nopody two times alike in
America yhas in der saloon peesness
Der tax assessor, der gas man und der wa
ter tax man used to come aroundt eafery
two hours und come some tricks on my
greenness. You advised me to go oudt of
dot peesness und print some comic alma
macs. Don't you remember herf"
1T seems as If did. -
.'Of oourse take your advice. Dot
almanac vhas wailing sooccess. She
vhas selling all onfer Europe und Amer
lea. She yhas mostly comic, und eafery-
body likes her. Being vhas here, shalt
read you some of my SMOKES for der next
number SN
MIR. Dunder. didn't you read In the pa
pers that-that my aged and beloved
mother was called from earth awayp''
''Yes, did. but he doan' make no dee
ference 1t vhas shust der same NIT my
own aged and beloved mudder. read her
some Of my shokes one night, und she
vhas found deadt in her bed In der morn
ing l shall read you something to sheer
you oop. Listen to me now:
Why vhas q bootblack like der sunf
Because he shines for all
What does dairyinaid most resen-
bier A butteroup.
''Vhen vhas clock like a hammori
When ready to strike
Why vhas messener boy like wag-
on wheels Because he goes aroundt und
shtops und needs grease und vhas always
tired
Why vhas COW oop tree like man
NIT houseS Because he'-
Mr.. Dunder, interrupted the sergeant,
Unjust be at the city hall In ! 8 minutes. +"
dot vhas all right" replied Mr. Dun
der, ''und Will go along und read you
some more shokes on der vhay. Say, ser
The Wadsworth dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1892-1899, 1895-02-16

DUNDER WAS WORKING HIS SHORT LEGS.
geant, got oop all dose shokes in half a
day Den | calls dot umbrella man into
my house to make some repairs, und While
he vhas at work springs EN- on him all
Of a sudden. Hal hal hal / Wish you vhas
dere Oxcuse me, but-but"-
Mr.. Dunder went over to the radiator
and leaned on 1t, and shut his eyes, and
screwed up his face, and kicked up his
heels and noise issued from his throat
like the squeal of a pig caught In fence.
'tMr. Dunder did the man burst blood
vessel in lauRhingf" solemnly asked the
sergeant after couple Of minutes
mo. He began to weep und sob, und
for two hours he vhas like leedle schild.
1t took more ash three quarts of beer to
brace him oop und get him home. Dot
vhas all right. howefer. 1t makes no dee
ference to me II he laughs or cries oafer
my shokes Will now read some more. /"
Really, Mr.. Dunder, but
II know, sergeant-I know, but can't
help dot Your fadder vhas deadt, und
your mudder vhas deadt, but dot doan'
shtop my almanac, chr You vhas in
hurry. So vhas l, but we can wait
leedle. See how you like desc SMOKES:
when vhas mans nose like a bouquet
of fowersi When he vhas nosegay.'
when does person resemble corn
stalkf When he vhas leedle husky.
"Vhy vhas a pig like treef Because
his living depends on his roots.
'tIn What respect does dot island of NADIA
Qascar resemble bob tailed dog? Because
she"-
The officer arose and began to put on
his oyercnat. and Mr. Dunder looked up
from his manuscript and asked: