The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-09-17
WIGGLEsW WORTH WATERS.
at First the Machine wouldn't work.
AfterHard II hid.

oh, dear, y complained Mrs. Wiggles-
worth, it's so aSyfully dusty I can't keep
the house clean a minute
S'Pooh!'' commented Mr.. Wigglesworth,
with a mans enlarged view Of housekeep-
ing, ''that's like d woman. Don't s'pose
'twouId ever occur to ye to sprinkle tho
street. That's where your dust comes
from. Wet the street down and ye'd have
clean house enough. Any fool knows
that. I've known it for years
but how can we sprinkle itY'' she won
dered, after deep cogitation.
why sane's anybody does, of course"
explained Mr.. Wigglesworth. ''Wha'd ye
s'poseS Think ye used a lawn mowerf
Wanted a cross cut saw pro bly-that's
what most people use.''
With an infnitude of this sort of Ia
BILE talk did Mr.. Wigg1esworth lergthen
the dinner hour. At evening he came per-
spring homo under the weight of some
small rubber hose and revolving lawn
sprinkler.
''Therer' he pulled, unloading his bur-
den, ''now Wen show ye how to keep
clean.''
Hurrying through supper with less than
his usual critical review of the biscuits,
Mr.. Wigglesworth fastened to the lawn.
'What is this iron thing with the crook
ed arms for?'' his wife wanted to know.
returned Mr.. Wigglesworth in a tone of
Importance. "What ye think got it for
Ito bake bread with? Reckon it's for the
hired girl to use in breaking dishes, don't
yep
To which oral accompaniment Mr. Wig
ellsworth busted himself with attaching
the hose to the kitchen faucet and then
making the other end fast to the sprinkler.
It was an upright iron device, painted
green, with four eccentrical1y branching
arms of polished metal.
CHOW, Emma, :" he called in a tone of
authority, stye let on the water in the
kitchen, and III show ye something
that'n surprise ye."
And that was what he did after the fol-
lowing manner, to wit:
Mrs. Wigglesworth attended to the kitch-
en- faucet as directed and then ran hastily
out to witness the display, but the foun-
tain was dumb.
"Why don't ye let on the water9" cried
her husband testify.
81 did, 2 answered Mrs. Wigglesworth.
"WelI, why don't the thing squirt then?'
growled Mr. Wigglesworth, and he rushed
down to have look at it.
"Yahl'' he snapped as he noticed the
turn cock on the machine. ''Dont ye
know enough to let 'em all on at once?
S'pose waters going to squirt through
With his usual precipitation he fetched
a wrench at the cock, and the polished
arms began whirling merrily. Mr.. Wig
ellsworth, on his hands and knees, fell
easy prey to the showering water.
"Yow' he yelled, scuttling about on
all tours: ''Shut her off! What We doing!
Get out!'' But the swift revolving ma
chine, under full city pressure, distributed
its streams with such liberal and diverse
1olS <3,olU
was utterly unable to get free from it I'M
til his wife, rallying from her stupor,
rushed to the kitchen and shut off the
supply
"Wha'd ye do that forP'' shrieked Mr..
Wigglesworth, dragging his leakye person
up the stoop. Don't ye know anything
In the world? Amt ye got more sense
than to go letting on that faucet fore I'd
had time to turn on the machire?'
''You-you told me to-" seammered
Mrs Wigglesworth.
''Told ye top snapped her husband
trailing his watery course up the front
stairs whats that got to do with it?''
Unable to combat the subtlety of this
argument, Mrs. Wigglesworth contented
herself with hopping up her husbands
trail and listening to the rumble of his ut
terances as he charged about the room
above putting on some dry clothes. Hear
ing him coming down later, she discreet
" withdrew into the pantry, while Mr..
Wigglesworth went out on the lawn and
kicked the polished arms off the sprinkler.
Somewhat Modified by this transaction,
he put a nozzle to the hose and fell to lay
ing the dust in the street. There was
something so pleasant i'll the singing Of
the water as it spurted through the nozzle
/ and flung its refreshment upon the dried
and powdery thoroughfare that Mr.. Wig
glesworths nature softened.
'That's the Stuff he said, with an air
of satisfaction, and he deserted a variety
of figures on the dusty face Of the street.
The minister stopped and beamed upon
the performance.
"How delightfully."- cooling and invigo-
ratingl'' he exclaimed.
eyes, faint bad, Mr.. Wigglesworth
acknowledged complacently, as if in a
sense he was responsible for it.
+ ''There is something so grateful in these
! showers of water upon the parched and
thirsty EARTH the minister continued,
land nature always exhibit in her instant
g., revivifcation the gratitude she experiences
at such generous contributions.
'That's so, nodded Mr.. Wigglesworth,
wetting down q passing dog.
| F'When Moses in the Wilderness
| But before the minister could draw his
| parallel fashionable outfit dashed up the
street. A stout. red faced man was driv-
ing, and two beautiful women in light
| summer costumes sat at ease upon the
rear seat, appearing to great advantage.
Mr.. Wigglesworth had turned his head to
attend the minister and the red faced man
was within the circle of the Batery stream
before anybody realized what was the mat
ter. he uttered hoarse yell, natural
enough to the occasion, whereat Mr. Wig
ellsworth turned hastily, with just enough
agitation to direct his stream into the rear
seat, where he had the summer costumes
wet down in less than two seconds.
With another roar the red faced man was
over the wheel. The minister, in the in
terest of peace, started forward The red
faced man eamo roaring up the stream of
water which AIr. Wigglesworth, in dazed
| manner kent steadily PLAYING and his