The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1895-04-04
MIR. RUBBIT'S BOOTS.

MIR. RUBBIT'S BOOTS.
A Joke That Cost Naval Officer
His Commission.
It was back in the piping times OF
peace, and was hardly more than a
lad when l found myself on board her
majesty's good ship Orontes, outward
bound. The Orontes was troop ship,
and was engaged in what is called the
Indian relief service. On this occasion
she was bearing out to the great Asiatic
possession q number Of detachments
from various regiments, and quite q
large party Of officers, some going back
to join their corps after happy and
all too short furlough in England;
others. like myself, going out to join
their respective regiments. the former
blase of all the pleasures and excite
ments of Indian garrison life; the lat
ter looking forward ardently to that
same thing. So it is throughout life;
the anticipation is the best part OF the
good thing. 1t must have been this
that prompted the late lamented Solo
mon to make that highly sensible re-
mark of his anent vanity.
Mai Williston Ball, of the Bengal
artillery, was the life and soul of the
party, and his mare-an Australian
''waler'-was the most intelligent ami
NAL had ever encountered. He took
the mare wherever he went; she was a
good sailor in rough weather, and in
calm would frisk about the deck in felt
boots and play with the men more like
3 kitten than horse.
Another parsonage, the very antith-
esis of Maj. Ball, was young gentle
man who had just been presented with
a commission as cornet in hussar
regiment. He was the scion of the
senior partner in the firm of Rubbit &
Shine, the eminent backing manufac-
turers, and possessed all the character
istics of his plebeian origin; he was ar
rogant, self-assertive and inquisitive
to a degree, and, although snubbed
right and left, was as unabaShed as
ever
On the evening after we had left
Malta, the first lieutenant invited
half a dozen of us to discuss a bowl of
specially interesting punch in his
cabin. Eusebius Rubbit was of the
party, and, l regret to say, took much
more than was good for him; so much,
indeed, that he suddenly disappeared
under the table, Then some one pro-
posed having some fun with "Seeby,"
as the first officer called him. So we
removed his boots-he always per-
sisted in wearing undress uniform and
riding boots, although the rest of us
were in mutt" aboard ship-and,
putting about pound of carpenters
glue in each, we tied them to the peak
halliards, and, hosting away, left
them flying at the mizzen gaf end.
We then painted his nose green-good
ships paint, hard as enamel-and put
him to bed
About one bell, or half-past four,
next morning, being unable to sleep
and feeling somewhat cobwebby, l
went on deck just as the first CLEAN of
dawn came out of the east. On our
starboard bow, and coming westward
evidently going to Malta-was a
large three-decker proceeding under
canvas; it was the Duke of Wellington
then flagship of the Mediterranean
squadron. 1t was the first time had
seen so large a ship under sail, and it
was destined to be the last, for the era
of iron warships was fast approaching.
And it was most magnificent sight to
see her heeling over towards us
gracefully, as if bowling, her immense
spread of swelling, spotless canvas at
the same time showing the whole
length OF her cream white spar deck
was lost in admiration at the beauti-
full spectacle for many minutes as she
came abeam of us, when | noticed she
ran up string Of signal fln~-s, hauled
them down and ran up another string.
Our third officer, merry young fellow
named Lockhart. had taken over the
watch at four o'clock, when it was
still dark, and had since then been
busy experimenting the swabbing of
the decks; but he managed to spell out
the signals to mean: What signal
mizzen?" He then, for the first time,
cast his eyes aloft, and beheld with
amazement "Seeby" Rubbit's boots
dangling from the peak. He looked
over lug ulTlISly W tIe Iudi teI AldSCcl
at the wheel; that worthy grinned and
said:
''Some of the young gentlemen have
been havin' of some fun with Mr.. Rub
bit last NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. this mornin',
and them's his boots at the peak, sir. :"
Lockhart laughed, and, turning to
me, said:
$50 that's what you fellers were up to
last night, was it? heard the racket;
and now the dear old admiral wants to
know all about it, too! So he shall,
good old man, so he shall!''
4: He then proceeded to spell out the
terse, but significant reply: ''Rubbit
and Shines best" He intended it
merely as q joke, and thought surely
the admiral would understand and
take it as such. The boots were hauled
down and tenderly passed over to Mr..
Rubbit's man, the signal flags slowed
] away, and the incident forgotten long
before the admiral's ship was out OF
our sight astern.
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