Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1895-05-04
| ETTERS OF A.
- LOOKER-ON
AN INFORMAL INTERVIEW.

apr. 80, 1895.
To the Editor Of the Herald.
We met on the public road near the
lane leading to his farm. Neither of
us had any particular business on
hand, SO we drew rein to have a soci-
able chat
Good morning, Mr.. Turniptop,
said /.
'-Mornin' and how do you find
YOURSELF"
Uniformed him that I was as we'll
as usual, and learned in return that
the old gentleman l was addressing
was himself together with his numer-
GUS household as well as common. !"
What's that your bin a-readin'
thar p he asked, seeing me fold up a
newspaper and put it into side
pocket.
Mr.. Turniptop is well-to-do farm
er, and is generally supposed to be for
at least six days out of every week as
busy on his place as any man in our
county; nevertheless his commemorate
industry has never yet been known to
seriously interfere with his pursuit of
knowledge in the line that interests
him most; that is, in the way of a
largely developed curiosity impelling
him at all times, as he himself con-
cisely expresses it, ito know how
things is a-goin'" It was evident
from his last leading question that he
meant to improve the present occa-
sion; whereupon, resigning myself to
the inevitable, I reopened my news
paper, saying as 1 did so, that l had
been looking over the President
Chicago letter.
ooh, you was. was you? I'm list
bin a-readin Nv it myself" he said
beaming brightly at the pleasant re-
collection.
What do you think of it ?" in
quired, hiding under grave counte-
nance that was lying in wait with
most fell intent against the honest
hearted old fellow.
He hesitated a moment, collecting
his ideas in order to give the full force
of concentrated conviction to the ex-
preston of his opinion. Then, with
ludicrously solemn emphasis, he de-
livered himself as follows: "Well now,
es to that, coonsiderin' the thing
myself, en- es l look at it, reckon
think about it jist what most all SEN
sible people think about it, which is
about this, think, that it is tip-top
piece a-writin'. That's about the size
Nv it, amt it ?" and Mr.. Turniptop
winked knowing wink and laughed
oneofhis most boisterous orse-laughs.
my estimate of Mr.. Cleveland's
letter is not so favorable as yours
seems to be, l replied, still drawing
him on
mot so favorable not so favorable!
My sakes man, what is you a-talkin
about My opinion is that you must
a-read that letter upside down en-
wrong side out! Why, bless my soul,
Mr.. Hermes, what sort Nv a nobjec-
ton kin any man make to SIGH a
knock-down legislatif dockerment es
that anyhow, l want ter know? Why,
durn my hide eff Mr.. Cleveland don t
jist make everything jist es plain ter
me en- ter everybody es hes eyes ter
see es that thar mornin' sun a-gittin
up over thar. Oh, I jist tell you
Cleveland S right EVERY time!"
"Do you really think so ?" I put in
mildly, for the old gentleman eyes
began to snap ominously, while his
whole face was aglow with excitement
Think so? Think so? Why,
man alive, l know it's SOL" he cried,
flushing up still more holly in the
rosy morning sunlight.
made no direct reply, but slowly
unfolding my newspaper, l read to the
Presidents irate admirer a luminous
sentence from the Chicago letter-the
first that happened to catch my eye;
perhaps, because-as if to indicate its
supreme importance-it was placed in
a paragraph by itself. 1t was thus:
Disguise it as we may, the line of
battle is drawn between the forces of
safe currency and those of silver mono
metallism."
Now, my dear sir" said I, this
really seems to ME the baldest VERDI
age but"
THE baldest what don't know
but it seems ter ME ter hev the har on
it," interrupted Mr.. Turniptop,
blandly smiling at his little joke.
The fault may be with me, l COLI
tinued; possibly l may be too stupid
to comprehend the simplest utterance
of so profound political economist as
Mr.. Cleveland; yet if the sense was
not purposely disguised, it appears to
be strangely obscure sentence for
even political financier to write for
the information of the dear people.
Now tell me by what sort of peculiar
executive logic do you suppose the
President represented to himself what
he is pleased to term safe cn,7gncy
as the only salvation for the present
benighted and stiffnecked generation
FROM the jaws of his all-devouring
bugbear Si0er recommendation 81
My stratagem of "darkening speed
with words was as successful as that
of the President himself. Mr.. Tur-
niptop was nonplused. At length he
stammered out:
"Oh!-ah!-well now, l must say
fur sartin that that there last word
does sorter git me. It's mighty all
fired big word amt it ?"
What word ?"