Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1895-10-17

ut work 10 see how could manage to
get an introduction TO the bank OF
course one is supposed TO give reference,
even if introduced Although l had no
acquaintance with this banks methods,
yet was confident that all those at the
top must be a stupid lot of red tape
sticklers. and resolved to do my bust
ness with them alone. Twas pretty sure
that the routine of an introduction once
well over, so as TO give me access to the
officials, they could be easily satisfied
and made to help ON the fraud in place
of being obstacles. The result proved
my surmise correct, for such lot OF
self sufficient barnacles no institution
in the world was ever burdened with,
the manager reassuring me that their
system was SO perfect no change had
been made in its methods for a century.
l finally made up my mind TO find
some old established shopkeeper who
kept an account at the bank and secure
an introduction through him.
l determined to carry out the plan at
once. The thing was first of all to find
my man, so at ? O'Clock that afternoon
l stationed myself near the bank TO
watch depositors coming out and then
follow them. Four out of five deposit
ors when they take money to the bank
come out examining their paSsbooks.
That afternoon l followed several or
these l selected three One was an opti-
clan and electrician, an old established
firm, doing large business. Another
was an East India importing house
The third was Green & Son, tailors.
The next day | went to the optician
and purchased an expensive opera glass,
and had him engrave ON it, ITO Lady
Mary, From Her Friend, and paid him
for it with a e1O0 note. Then l went to
the East India firm and bought a costly
white silk shawl and lap robe fit for
prince, and looked at camel's hair
shawl at 100 guineas.
l had brought from America with me
a western hat. and as I had resolved to
play the silver king wore it when 60
ing around among the tradesmen. The
English had and still have absurd ideas
concerning that desirable article, 'the
American silver king" The stage ar
ticle they take for the genuine and de-
voutly believe that the pavements are
thick with them in America, all march
ing around with rolls of 81, 900 bills in
their pockets, which they throw out to
bootblacks and bartenders.
Therefore I resolved to play this role.
After my purchase of the shawl and
robe l drove in my brougham up to
Green & Sons and entered, smoking
cigar, and with my big hat pulled well
down over my eyes. Soon as saw the
elder Green felt l had my man. Ger
tainly / had hit we'll, for the firm fla
theirs and sons) had been depositors i'll the
Bank of England for nearly century,
and had considerable wealth, but, Eng
hsh fashion, stuck steadily to business.
This is firm of ultra fashionable tai
lors that, like the historic Poole next
door, charge for their reputation more
than for the fit of their garments.
One of the firm and an attendant flew
to wait upon Inc, but paying no atten-
tion to them / started ON a slow march
around the establishment, examining
the array Of cloths, they following at
my heels. Invent down one side and re-
turned ON the other to the door, Arriv-
ing there l halted, and, pointing first at
one roll of cloth and then another, said:
Zone suit from this, three suits from
that, two from that, a topcoat from
that, another from that, another suit
from that, one from that. Now show
me some dressing gowns P" The first
shown was 20 guineas. instantly said
that would do. One may be certain the
tailor and his assistant flew around, one
to measure and the other TO write the
measurements of this American sheep
that Providence had led astray into their
shop. When asked my name and address
l gave T. A. Warren, Golden Gross bo-
tel, and then, for fear l might forget
my name, made men, ,orandum of ii
and placed it in my vest pocket.
They bowed me ont, evidently greatly
impressed with my taciturnity, and es-
pecially my big hat, confident also that
they had hooked fortune in genuine
American silver king. 1 entered the
brougham and drove directly to the
Golden Cross hotel, Charing Cross, and
there registering 'F A Warren" and
securing room l left for my hotel
This room at the Golden Cross l kept
for a whole year, but never slept there.
1t was the only address the Bank of
England ever had of their distinguished
customer, Mr. Frederic Albert Warren.
l did not trouble any more about the
other two store people, but looked about
the town amusing myself. In due time
I called and tried the garments on, and,
when ready to deliver, left the cash
with the hotel people with orders to pay
the bill, which was done. There the
matter rested for ten days, when / drove
up again, and, remaining in my car
riage, the head of the firm came out to
me, and l remarked, 81 must have
more garments; duplicate that order, "
and drove off.
A week after l called to have them
tried on, and then remarked that as
was going to Ireland for few days
shooting with Lord Clancarty would
send down n portmanteau for the gar
ments and call for it on my way from
the hotel to the station. So, bought
the most expensive trunk could find
and sent it to the tailor. When the day
came for me to call provided myself
with five $500 bank notes, five fl00 and
about 90 Go notes to go ON the bottom
of the roll. Before leaving my hotel
had large trunk put ON the cab, and
then, taking inside of it all the dressing
bags, rugs, silk umbrellas and canes III
the whole party, drove to the tailor's,
paid my bill with a $500 note and had
the portmanteau put ON the cab.
turned to go; but, halting at the door,
remarked quite in a casual manner, BY
the way, Mr. Green | have more money
than l care to carry loose in my vest
pocket to Ireland; / think will leave
it with you. " He replied, Certainly,
SIR" and as / was pulling the roll out
Of my vest pocket he said, "How much
is it, sir?' "Only ca, 900; it may be
e5, ,000," to which he replied, "Oh, sir,
l would be afraid 10 take charge of so
much; let me introduce you to my
bank.
He ran for his hat, accompanied me
to the Bank Of England. and, calling
one Of the submanagers, introduced me
as an American gentleman, Mr.. f. A.
Warren, who desired to open an account.
A check and n passbook were brought
and the signature book laid before me
for my autograph, and / was requested
to sign my name in full, so j christened