The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1895-08-16
THE LIMEKILN CLUB.
Judge Chewso Takes the Place of
the Hon. Wintersmith.
BUT HIS PECULIAR STYLE OF ORATORY

by the President-Other Matters of
High Interest.
The Hon. Abraham Wintersmith, the
co1ored orator of West Virginia, had
written that he would be present at the
Saturday night meeting of the Limekiln
club and deliver his celebrated lecture
on 1.-The White Man-Has He Come to
Stay?' The honorable did not show up,
however, and after waiting 5 minutes
over the hour for opening Brother Gard
ner arose and observed that he would
give home talent an opportunity to
glorify itself.
There were many orators in the club,
many pertinent subjects and such pro-
gramme as he had suggested would tend
to increased confidence and rescue ora
tory from the swamp into which the
last legislature had consigned it. He
thought it might be good thing for
Judge Chewso to lead off.
The judge, who is a one story and
basement man, weighing 900 pounds
and being sprung in both knees from
lifting watermelons over high fences,
arose, removed his coat, pushed up his
sleeves, cleared his throat with a sound
like a tin pan rolling along a graveled
roof and began:
Ladies an gem len, To-
"Dar am no ladies presentl' inter
rupted the president.
Jess 50, sah-jess so. I'll begin
again, sab. Teller citizens an Teller pa
triots, go back wild me 5000 Vars an
stan on de banks of de Tiber. 1t am
night an de-
'Brudder Chewso, what has 5000
vars ago got to do wild de "a applica-
shuns for divorce in Chicago in de space
of As minits one day last week?'' asked
the president.
Muffin, sab -
"Den let 'em alone. -
"Werry we'll, sab. I'll begin once
mo-, sab. Friends, naburs and conspir-
ators, what am divorce? A band o. pill
grims leaves England on de Mayfower.
Dey sail an sail an sail, an finally de
crew becomes alarmed an threatens to
frow Columbus oberboard if he doan'
turn back. It was''-
Judge, sot downl' called the presi-
dent
''What fur?''
"Bekase your style of oratory am
crackin all de plaster on de walls an
putin de season back at leas' ten days.
I'ze willin to gin you chance, an I
hope you II some day be heard in de halls
of congress, but jist at de present date
you kin arm $40 beatin ca pets whar
you kin airn 10 cents tryin to ride de
steed of oratory. You am a mighty good
70 l7n17
coal stove or breakin a mule colt, but
de mint you reach oratory your feet be-
gin to slide in all direckshuns, an you
soon land on de back o your head -
The judge sat down with a thud
which Jared down seven lengths of
stovepipe and knocked a leg out from
under the stove, and later on it was
whispered around the hall that he in
tended to resign and make tour of the
country and relate his wrongs from the
platform. When order had been restored,
the Hon. Catalepsy Jones arose to make
an inquiry. He had been asked half
dozen times of late whether the club
had it's special weather prophet for next
winters campaign, and he now desired
to ask for information.
The president replied that the prophet
engaged IS months ago was sunstruck
during a hot spell which he alone pre-
dicted, and the one engaged last winter
froze to death in blizzard he had fur
nished the club at special rates. The
| club was now without weather prophet,
! taking the weather haphazard and run
ming all sorts of risks. The secretary
would be instructed to advertise for can
didates for the position, and all apph-
cants would be given fair show to ex-
hibit their qualifications.
| The committee of the sick reported
that Brother Jogalong Speed, local
| member living on Ohio street, was i'll
and in need of relief
''Did de chairman visit de house?''
asked the president.
''We did, sab. -
can did you note de symptoms?"
"We did, sab. Feelin dat Brudder
Speed war leetle tricky we insisted on
an examination, an satisfied ourselves
dat he had really been knocked down an
run ober by a baker wagon. All pear
ances went to show dat TO teen different
wheels had passed ober him about six
! times apiece, an it am our candid opin-
yum dat he won It be able to run any fut
races befo' next December.
The treasurer was ordered to pay the
victim So per week from the relief fund
until further orders, and it was suggest
ed that Giveadam Jones hunt up the
| driver Of the vehicle and bestow upon
him such reward as he deem best.
The treasurer stated that he had re-
ceived letter from leading citizens of
| Nashville communicating the fact that
a person styling himself Brother Gard
ner, and claiming to be the Brother
Gardner of the Limekiln club, was trav-
cling through Tennessee and organizing
branch lodges and charging candidates
six bits for an initiation fee. The writer's
of the letter believed him fraud, and