The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1895-10-02
Clippings from Exchanges.

anu Wnen WlnJbr COMES rOuuO
1t will doubtless be found
That an icicle goes as an " Ike"
He" Here, darling, I've brought
you a pet monkey" She" Oh, you
dear boy how like you"
A MONOPOLY is a good deal like a
baby. A man is opposed to it On gen.
eral principles until he has one of his
own.
"Do you remember, Julian, why
they shot poor Saint Sebastian full of
arrows?" Because they hadn't any
gun"
"WHALEBoNE," began the teacher,
"isn't a bone at ALL" "Well," broke
in the bold, bad boy, " it isn't a whale
either, 80 what is it?"
"SAY, mamma, why is it papa al
ways speaks of money as the cold
cash p" 81 guess because it gives him
a chill to part with it,"
"THAT woman dispenses a great deal
of social lemonade" What do you
mean9" "Simply that she is always
saying our things in a sweet way"
JAMIE" sharply called out his
mother, ~"you've been loafng all day.
Satan always finds work for idle hands
to do. Take this basket and bring in
some kindlings."
SHE-"Oh, my! there's something
gone'down my backl" He" It's one
of those laundering bugs, 1 suppose"
mo; l guess it's one of those light
ming bugs, George"
CAwKER-" Barlow made a rash pre-
diction just now" Cumso-" What did
he sayp" Cawker-"He said that the
time would come when it would be re-
spectacle to be honest"
"HAvE you the Relics of By-Gone
Days?' asked the young lady, entering
a bookstore. eyes," replied the po-
lite clerk, with a bow, L" we have some
of last years calendars"
SHE-'Do you know, Harry, father
has forbidden you the house?" He
" Forbidden mt the housed l never
asked him for his house. His daugh-
ter is good enough for me-"
ITSAvEs LIVES EVERY DAY.-Thou-
sands of cases of consumption, asthma,
coughs, colds and Group are cured every
day by Shiloh's Cure. For sale by w.
E. Terrill & Co., Montpelier, Vt.
"Do you think, professor" said a
unsteady ambitious youth, " that 1 can
ever do anything with my voice?"
WELL" was the cautious reply, " it
may come in handy to boiler with in
case of fire."
WHAT will we 'shoo' chickens
WITH" asked Mrs. Cycles, " when we all
get to wearing bloomers?" "There
will be no need" replied poor Cycles,
YEARLY; "they'n run without, as soon
as they see you"
eyes, brethren and sisters" said
the funeral sermon, tour dear brother
has gone to the land where all things
are known-even the truth about the
coinage question, perhaps"
GRANDPA-"Don't get scared, Will
lie; the tiger is about to be fed; that's
what makes him jump and roar 3d."
Willie (easily)-"Oh, l amt afraid of
him, grandpa; papa's the same way
when his meals amt ready"
HERE is an epitaph inscribed on a
tombstone in a western New York GEM
etery:
The last remains Of Mary Jones
Lie buried underneath these stones.
Her name was Brown, the name of Jones
Is used because it rhymes with stones.
A NATURAL BEAUTIFIER. - Karl's
Glover Root Tea purifes the blood and
gives a clear and beautiful complexion.
For sale by w. E. Terrill & Co., Mont.
pelier, Vt.
FIRST Little Boy" I've got a new
baby brother that came from heaven
last night" Second Little Boy-"That's
nothing. My little baby brother went
to heaven yesterday. First Little Boy
(refectively)-''I bet it's the same
kid"
A LITTLE boy was taken down the
harbor by his father, and saw for the
first time a large steamer towed by a
putting little tug, with an immense
hawser connecting the two. "Oh,
papa, papa" he shouted in excitement.
See! The big boat has the little one
by the tail, and he's a.squealingp
IKE PHILKINs was discovered by his
mother carrying a vessel so full of milk
that it was stopping at every step.
" Ike, you wasteful thing!" she ex-
claimed, what makes you fill that ba-
sin so full?" "If l didn't start with
it that full" he retorted, 81 wouldn't
have any milk left in the dish by the
time / got to the calf-pen, it Stops So"
The BEST FAMILY CATHARTIC.-
For a general home medicine Hoods
Pills are u%nequaled. They were pre-
pared for family use, and they have
been found entirely satisfactory wher-
eve they have been used. Their
sale has nradnallv eXianded until to-