The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1895-04-16
PITII AND POINT.

\ swell turnout Round the corner
"hen his tni!or's coming
Ink has no connection with mud.
bn; i. fills the ucn. Life.
The detects in Il mirror are soon dis
covered by woman. Puck.
The only way Il mnu eau avoid max
ing mistakes Is 10 do nothing.
A chip from the old block" some
times destroys the symmetry of the
family tree
Wise men proit by tneir mistakes,
and use the profit as capital il diff
tcrent line OF bushes. Puck.
Tho auction tr's tho queo-est MAJ
iu this o~ any town.
j. t1Sas ming and puts it ~
AM s:ro'gliway knocks it dowl.
'NIiss R2boins sing, like birJ
doesn't she?" Mr.. Blaut-"No; they
stop singing sometimes. - Chica %
Inter Ocean.
"What do you think o; tae moierl
game OF football, doctor" II think.
sir, that the punishment fits the
crime. Truth
Watts -"WelI, how are You TO.
day?' Potts-"Only sew-sew. / have
hld stitch in my back for two or
three dtys indianapolis Journal.
IN ,r tin',l'. trolley ca
HOW Won ls- wlara you ar3i
u tn ipg - vsry dans,
your daIth rat IS jus; INN in5c
-phlalelpha CAV
They tell OF certain Mrs. Nal.
prop that she recently remarked tiiat
she and her family hal spent so much
time in Paris that they all felt like
Parasites. New York Mercury.
A Germantown. bride grew indigl
nant when her grocer asked il she
wanted any cracked wheat She re-
piled that she could ufr1rl to buy the
very best. Philadelphia Record.
B'oBgs-'I have known a fellow SO
har up that he smoked cabbage
leaves. Woggs That's nothing. =
know n grocer on Third avenus who
has smoked bacon. New York Mer.
curry.
"Ihe scenery for the torture cham.
Der is not ready. What will we do?"
Manager That's all right just have
little girl recite 'Curiew Must Not
Ring Tonight. - Chicago Inter
Ocean.
Winston-"What DO people mean
when they say of girl that she is
quaint?' p" Wonston -"They mean
usually that it is charitable not to ex-
press their real opinion Of her. -
Somerville Journal.
Girl Gokingly)--'1'd like place
where I'll have everything / want,
nothing to do, and no one to boss me. "
Clerk-"This, miss, is an employment
Office, not matrimonial agency. -
London Tit-Bits.
First LAW Partner Sc lave YOU read
old Deepfeller's will?' Second Law
Partner Yes; but ] can't seem to
make anything out Of it. F. J.. p
Better throw it ny, then, hadn't
we?'--Boston Courier.
Customer -"You fellows ought to
get rich. You make 800 or 400 per
cent. on what you SELL" Druggist -
"What can / serve you with?" Gus.
toner -"Give me three two-cent
stamps" New York Herald
Johnny Slow-"Do you have fish at
g'''l hbho' Dll d ii'lAN Anuy QUICK
-''No, indeedy. My dad keeps n
fishstand in the market. We have EN-
Saturdays aAd Sundays il he don't SCI
out. "--Philaielphia Inquirer
Young Lady "It you will let mo
have those roses, will give kiss for
each of them bat why do you run
away, cousin? Row rule of YOU"
Cousin-"One moment; I am going
for some more roses. Dorfbarbier.
Gnquisitivo Friend Ger suppose you
wouldn't be defending that bank rob
Der if You thought he really took the
money!" Bright LAWYER "a wouldn't
be defending him il didn't think he
took enough ID pa my biz. New
York Herald.
Indy Widow -''Do you know that
my daughter has set her eyes upon
you, Herr Millcr2' Gent ldatteredl
"Haa che realiy?" Lady Certain
ly; only to-day she was saying.
That's the sort Of gentleman i should
like for my pope. '-- Taglicko Buud
schar.
How TO Size Up Things.