Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1895-08-29
Mr.. and Mrs. BOwser.

Mr.. and Mrs. BOwscr.
Mrs. Bowser sat by the front win
dow waiting for Mr.. Bowser to come
home to dinner. She saw him when
he dropped off the car, almost q
BLOCK away, and she knew by the
way he struck the ground that some
thing was wrong with him. He
came down the street with his shoul-
ders bumped up and his hat pulled
down on his ears, and as he assembled
the front steps his scuff! scuff! scuff!
was warning that row was at
hand.
What is it, dear?" asked Mrs.
Bowser as she opened the door for
him.
Mr.. Bowser made no reply. He
sort of lodged out from under his
hat and let it fall and roll down the
hall and then proceeded to the
family sitting-Ioom and sat down
on the couch with weight that
Jared the chandelier.
Anything wrong, dear?" per-
sisted Mrs. Bowser, who had duti-
fully followed him.
Mr.. Bowser united and kicked his
shoes across the room, and holding
up his stockinged feet to her gaze he
hoarsely whispered:
Look there Holes, Mrs. Bowser
holes in my socks !"
Yes, see 'em," she calmly re-
piled. "You woke up ten minutes
late this morning, and when / heard
you rushing around | wondered if
you wouldn't make some mistake,
you see"
Yes, l see," he interrupted. "I
see holes in the heels and toes of
these socks-holes which have set
me almost crazy all day long. That's
the sort of housekeeper you are.
ihats the kind of interest you take
in your husbands comfort and
welfare. Nice thing if I'd met
with an accident and been taken to
hospital, wouldn't it?"
" Where did you get those socks
this morning?"
Where! Where! Why out of
the bag in the closet, Of course.
You don't suppose went up on the
roof looking for 'em, do you, though
they might have been there for all
you knew.n
Mr.. Bowser, put those socks
away three days ago to prevent you
from getting them over. Why on
earth should you go to all that trou-
BILE when you have four or five pairs
IN your bureau-drawer is more than
/ can tell"
" Four or five pairs in my bureau
drawer !" he shouted. "Never =
Not pair, not sock, not even the
heel Of sock. / looked there, but
nothing was to be found but an old
hairbrush. If this house was run
on system, Mrs. Bowser if it
wasn't left alone to run itself, might
find at least one pair Of old socks
without wasting half an hours time
to look for them, but I've given up
all hope. Is 1t any wonder / have
corns and bunions and varicose veins
and rheumatism Is it any wonder
limp and hump and halt and
go about like man 100 years
old ?"
For reply Mrs. Bowser went up
stairs and returned in minute with
five pairs of clean and almost
new socks and held them up for him
to look at.
Yes 1 knows" he said as he
turned his head away. "ProbabIy
had 'em under your pillow or hung
up to the ceiling. Pm neither cross
eyed nor near-sighted nor an idiot.
If those socks had been in my
bureau-drawer, / should have
found 'em."
"They were right there, Mr..
Bowser. You've had that same
drawer for the last ten years, and
there's never been a time when Won
hadn't clean socks in it,"
Woman I" cried Mr. Bowser as
he rose up, "am the head or the
foot of this establishment? Am I
your husband or the man who cuts
the grass in the yard ?"
"YOu are the head of the house
and my husband" replied Mrs. Bow
ser.
"Then treat me as such! No wife
should dispute her husband. When
L say there were no socks in my bu-
reau-drawer L say what / know, and
IT'S not for you to stand up and talk
back. If that were all-but it isn't
Look atthe way I'm bumped up like
blamed old camel 1 haven't
had my feet on the ground to-day.n
Your trousers are too short ,,
said Mrs. Bowser as she stood off and
looked at his ankles.
"Don't know it, and how came
they too short? Yesterday these
trousers were all right; to-day they
have been lifting me off the earth
l found 'em in the bag with the
socks, suppose I"
1.-THE matter is that you've buckleC
up your suspenders too tight. VIII,
didn't you let 'em down."
eyes, why didn't 1 do this, ant
, why didn't do that? ?" he growled
as he walked back and forth ant
kicked the chairs aside. "I'll Civ,
$4,000 reward for the arrest an,
, conviction Of the fend who got n,
In the night aud meddled with M,
3 suspenders But 1t isn't socks AN,
suspenders alone, Mrs. Bowser-
. look at this collarW