The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1895-04-28
Bah ON ANECDOTES.
OUR WITTY WRITER AT WORK
THINKING UP TALES TOLD
HER LONG AGO.

Uses of the BroOm-NeighbOrIy An
nOyances- Gifts That Came at
Birth of Moman-DIstributi of
Qualities to NationaIities-TheO Only
American Youth who Ever Danced
With Queen Vfctoria-His Quaker
Mothers Fehrs-Necessity of Anec-
dOtes at Social Functions.
New York. April 27.-There are always
people who are hunting up when things
We're invented. You know the kind Of peo-
pie I mean-the people who say pepper
was used by the Athenians. Helen OF Troy
had buttons on her frock, and that those
denominations known as rocking-chairs
We're spoken of by the venerable Bede in
this way: The women now are so luxu-
rious that they do have chairs with wooden
circles on the legs. and which sway back
and forth in such sort that Il malSeth
one sick TO behold them" For my part
think the venerable Bede must have been
a sensible and knowing old chap, for II
ever woman looks sick IL is when she Is
rocking, and it is too queer to see a whole
lot of women in a hotel parlor uneon-
sciously rocking in time and looking as II
all the brains they ever had were in their
feet.
These people who know so much say
brooms were used in Egypt 200 b. c.
1 wonder what they did with them? l
wonder if the Egyptian maid of the day
l mean that day swept. In a debonnaile
manner, the dust that was in the mid
die Of the room and carefully omitted
the corners, and under the tables, as is
the mode to-day? l wonder IL she ex-
far, in hrsr hrpnrp 1
der if, when she thought of that Easter
hat with nodding plumes and pink roses,
the broom took swift, short strokes that
meant happiness? or, If. Directing to a
late dinner on Sunday. or to the fact that
the family didn't give her any terrapin,
the broom described a circle in the air,
gave vicious dab at the carpet, all Of
which told of offended dignity? And l
wonder stll more if the Egyptian maid
used the broom as a weapon of defense
against peddlers, sweeping at them ana
over them as II they were nothing more
than black beetlesg
sweep wei, taking i'm the corners, got
ting up the pins, discovering that lost
ten cent piece, or that dropped dice, not
to mention the poker chip that fell under
the sofa, is the sort of woman who
could be trusted to do anything and do
IL well. broom is like a weak-minded
man. a EAlOllk Will - AN4hlANA " NNtA
troll it, else IL slips and slides, hither
and thither, and finally falls down help
! less. Personally, the chief use TO when
L put a broom Is to bang on the cell
ing with it. This may strike you as
strange, but IL is meant TO express more
! than mere thump. The family who
! live on the floor above me are at once
! Italian and musical, consequently, when
| they feel their music too much they make
| an awful lot of noise. And, as they OBJ
| iect to carpets, at least we think so from
| the sounds we hear. when they are very
| lively, they have an inclination to do d
! little prancing and then l call the broom
| into service. one knock on the ceiling
means I'VE can't stand this much long
| err" and a series of knocks, ending in a
! dun, sickening thud, insinuates that the
] chandelier is slowly but surely, descend
/ ing upon two innocent women. and thai
] they politely, but firmly, request thai
| the Italian musical contingent viii ex
| press their eXuberance and their appre
citation of sweet sounds, less with theil
feet and ofteuer with their souls. / sup
/ pose there Is an opportunity here to maze
a pun-but l am not brave woman anc
| j refrain.
/ don't often steal. but once in a while
/ somebody else writes something so clever
| that / take it,and give them the credit fol
/ Il, which by-the-by, isn't stealing after all
! Frenchman, who, properly enough, ap-
| pTeciates the American woman, has writ
! ten little account of the gifts that came
| TO all women at their birth The teller
| of this little story is Leon Gozlan, and
make to him my bow In recognition of his
american woman. He says: when wo
! man was created there appeared a god
dess, and of the gifts in her possession she
gave to the Castillian long and black hair
in which she might wrap herself as If II
We're a mantiila
ITO the Italian. eyes bright and ardent
| as a midnight eruption of Nesuvius.
"To the Turk, a form round as thC
moon, and soft as eiderdown
ITO the English, the Aurora Borealis
to glorify her checks, her lips, and hel
! shoulders.
ITO the German, beautiful teeth and al
| earnest heart, profoundly inclined to love
ITO the Russian, the distinction of &
"Afterward, she gave gaiety to. tn,
:. Neapolitan, wit TO the Irish, good sense
Now, when the good fairy had giver
| all these attractions to the daughters OF
Eve and had, apparently, exhausted hel
treasures, gay little figure came dancing
up and asked for her share.
"'Who are you, my dear" said the gooc
fairy; rather surprised
II am Parisienne, said the pretty
"'Oh, / am grieved! said the fairy; =
have given everything, and have nothing
| left
1.-The pretty woman wept with grief
and then the fairy took pity on her anC
calling together all the recipients of hel
bounty, told the story TO them and said
| have been oVergenerous to all of you
Now, each OF you give a little of YOU
! gift to this one woman.
/ And so 1t happened that the Parisienn'
| combines in herself all that makes wo
man delightful.
At this time the American woman die
! not exist. When she came, she was told
| the story and she didn't propose TO b'
without the Vaccinations that are intense
| " feminine. Being like the Howard fam
/ iiy Of England, who during the Flood
| had a little boat of their own. She calles
| UP a fairy for her special benefit. Thu
| good fairy advised her initiate the Pari
! sienne, and, obeying her and adding he
| own natural wit, she stands to-day tn,
| possessor of all good gifts with the addeC
| ones of French chic and American cour
! age. Hence, in the opinion of the French
man. she is the most delightful woman IN
| the world.
Speaking of the English Towards nat
| urally suggests the old families I'm thi
country. Everybody knows of the lat
| Richard Naux. of Philadelphia, who wa
| the only American who ever had the hon
or of dancing with the Queen of England
| Few people, however, know how his moth
| er looked at II. This gentleman was
| member of the Society of Friends, an'
| had that peculiar pride of family and o
being a Friend that belongs to them. Tn
| story of her son dancing with the queer
was told TO her. Friend Vaux listened L
| il with calmness, and TO the astonishmen
| of her visitor replied, very quietly, We'll
| I must tell thee l don't altogether lOol
! upon that as an honor. There IS no know
| ing what ii may lead to. Richard Is a yer,
l. handsome young man, and the queen 4
| unmarried and ] should not at all like tn