Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1895-06-27
PlTH AND POINT.


-He-ssYou reject me because On
poor. Heiress Say, rather, that ron
arc poor because I reject you Boston
Transcript
Miss Amateur-ssAre you musical.
Prof. Bisten?" Prof. Bisten-'Yes:
but If you were going to play anything,
don't mind my feelings Sing Sing
Courier.
1T seems to me, observed Criticus.
..that Scribber's book reads rs though
he were addicted to the bottle. .'Yes,~
essented Wagg. TO the mucilage-
bottle. -Harper's Bazaar.
The Recipe. How did Woody
White get his reputation for being
bright?" Why. by promptnesa He's
always the first to say chestnut when
somebody essays clever observation.
Washington Star.
Mrs White-"And do you mean to
say that you and your husband al
ways agree about everything?" Mira
Black-'.Alwayss except. of course.
now and then when he's out of humor
or pigheaded. or something of that
sort Boston Transcripts
Mean. Even Then.-Mr. Flushley-
.sDo you know that Jazblin beats his
wife almost every night In the weck?"
Mrs. Flushley-ssNo, does he?r O, the
monsterr' Mr.. Flushley-"O, 1 don't
know about that; you see he plays q
much better game than she does.n-
Roxbury (Mass.) Gazette.
Proverbs was largely the ruin Of
me-. said Mr.. Everett Wrest. "How?n
asked the sympathetic citizen. Take,
for instance, that one about the race
not bein' to the swift. 1 guess that
there has made me lose more money on
dog. "-Cincinnati Tribune"
-Wife-"Why, Charles. what do
you mean by burning our old love let
ters?' Husband-'I have been read
ing them, my dear, and it occurred to
me that after die some one who
wished to break my will might get
hold of them and use them to prove
was insane. Life.
Uncle George" said the little boy
from the country. ''are these the build
ings they call sky-scrapers? They
are, Tommy" answered the city uncle
Tommy took q comprehensive look
overhead. THE sky does need scrapin'
here pretty bad, don't it. Uncle
George?' he rejoined.-Chicago Trib-
une.
This original paragraph from Ed
itor Hams recent New York letter Is
going the rounds of the country: IT
would not give one good, wholesome,
hearty, rosy-cheeked Georgia girl who
can swing pot, whistle q tune and
kick dog all at the same time for all
of these military mummies between
Battery park and Harlem suburbs
Atlanta Constitution.
First Gentleman (entering the
apartment of second gentleman)-
About year ago you challenged mo
to fight duel" Second Gentleman
did, SIR" First Gentle
man-''And told you that had just
been married, and did not care to risk
my life at any hazard" Second Gem
tleman (haughtily)-''I remember, sir"
FIRST Gentleman (bitterly)-"Well, my
have changed; any time you
want to fight let me know."-House-
hold Words.
Helen" said Mr.. Whykins, who
never gets hold of an idea
until it is old. "I have good one for
you. think you'll appreciate it, only
you must not let it make you angry
''What is it, Henry?" ''What's the
difference between a woman and an
1.-THE difference" she an-
swered serenely, ''is that a man isn't
afraid to take an umbrella with him
werever he goes. and that he doesn't
try to conceal the fact that it's above
him when a real emergency arrives.
That's the principal difference, Henry
Star.