The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1895-12-14
CHILDREN OF TO-DAY
One of Our Matrons Gives
Her Views as to Their
Lack Of Training.
RELATIONS OF MOTHERS 70 DAUGHTERS
Not Sufficient Confidence Between
Them-HoW to Have a Nice
Sponge-The Latest
Thing in Dogs.

For some reason there. is a sad lack
of child-training nowadays; we need more
of the Spartan discipline. Where does
the trouble lie? Mostly. without doubt.
in the mothers failure to secure the con-
fdence of her child"
The complainant was a well-known
writer. The article recent. I took it to
a Philadelphia matron, one who is the
successful mother of four blooming girls;
I say successful" for her girls have
grown up into delightful young women,
gracious. wide-minded ana tactful, says
the Philadelphia "PreSs."
h read 1t thoroughly and acquiesced
in it's truth.
1T is singular, isn't it?" she said.
How little confidence seems to exist be-
tween the mothers and daughters OF the
| present day. Yet there is 40 relation
more beautiful than that which may ex-
list between the mother and daughter. The
mother can completely control the tastes
OF the child, If she first proves worthy
of her trust and confidence. And there
is no one to whom a child would rather
conide her secrets than to such a mother.
on one side. The mother, too, hould have
her secrets which she can entrust to the
| youthful ears.
What would you advise" I asked.
Make your daughter feel that she is
necessary to the comfort and happiness
of the family, and tell her how greatly
SQG Is missed WuGu dDSGul. ASK her du-
| vice sometimes; and interest her in as
sisting in the housekeeping duties, and
i viii make her very happy to know
to Be a real help to mother. she viii
soon begin to cultivate her tastes, TAX
ing you as her model, so that she may
the more readily offer suggestions in the
future: Unconsciously she will adopt
your idea as her own, and when that
point is reached there Is no knowing to
what extent she will ever trust to your
advice.
1T is. well to give a daughter some
thing that she may; call her own, or
bring in spending money. This is as i'm
portant for the as for the son;
She should be made to feel that she rs Is
work entities her to a share in the prof
its. And in her work as in her pleasure
she will soon learn to share her thoughts
and desires and ambitions with her moth
er. Doubtless we can. all recall such
families where the daughter is a young
woman Of excellent judgment because
est and most intimate friend.
DO you think the modern American
mother less careful about such matters
than the European matron?"
THE American mother, like the Amer
of a hurry" she answered.
the time when the future looks SO
large and mysterious, when there are a
thousand questions arising in the daugh-
Z , LII SAO l.'4N
could answer, and she hardly knows that
she is stepping from childhood into a new
sphere, who is better fitted to settle all
doubts. answer the questions, and point
out the beauties of a pure and perfect
-womanhood than ones mother?
Il do think the American girls are al
lowed to go out too much alone.
How many girls we meet to-day be-
tween the ages of Is and II who are
going out in company without either
father or mother accompanies them;
girl or young man as easily Influenced as
themselves. These young people have an
idea that their parents are growing old,
and are of a different generation from
themselves n therefore they neither
understand or sympathize with, them, SO
they seek suggestions from whom they
think will coincide with their views n
with the times generally. How, differ
emily the daughter feels toward the wise
mother who has made Of her a friend
up in the love and influence and con-
fdence of such a mother there will be
no question concerning the useful wo-
.But sometimes" I interrupted, 'sone
sees daughters that are far superior in
moral character to their mothers"
There are instances, of course, where
the daughter would be better off had
the mother no influence whatever over
her." was her answer.
cit is shameful that such a state of af-
fairs should exist, and yet 1t is true. The
mother seems as greatly pleased over the
daughters success in Catching new
beaux aus other mothers feel when their
daughters receive prizes for efficient work
in school. They proudly exhibit the
packet of love letters the daughter has
received in one week, and we V only
to look out upon the street of any town
from twilight until nine to ten O'Clock
in the evening to see the result of such
training. Young girls dressed in their
best are noticed walking up and down
the streets, -endeavoring to attract atten-
ton, or chatting with some youth upon
a street corner. These are somebody's
daughters. Are they yours? Perhaps
some mothers will ask: What harm, so
long as there are other girls with her?
But who are the other girls, and what is
their influence over your daughter? Do
you suppose these girls are the confiden-
tial companions of their mothers, or hat
they repeat to them one-half the CONVEX
satfon which passes between them and
their street f~riends?'
your daughters confidence, however, be
sure it will not be- given you then; for
her timidity and bashfulness will be far
greater at that time than ever before.
If she does not go togyou she gathers a
little Information from one young friend,
a little more from another, and very like
" none of it correct and much of it
sThe complaint of the paragraph, 1
think, is just. Women should make every
effort to be their daughters conidante-
YES. and their sons. too"