New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1895-03-17
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

p,,..,o Secretary Thurber has been wearing his
left leg in splints ever since the news reaches '
washington that Mr. Cleveland had sprained MIS-
knee.
willing to are s at your Se G yisS, n Ss
FOR marrying. You ought to make nay wmie 'h'
sun shines" . -, a.,
house ann proposed fifteen minutes later to grass
Widow.-(Chicago Tribune
While a great many people in the Northwest are
preparing to emgrate to the Southwest. just about
as many residents OF the Southwest are setung
ready 10 to the Northwest
High.-"Mamie AMI have made wager on the
age OF the prima donna we saw last week. SAN
the young woman a..
Yrs Ind indeed " We ut brand new theatre hat"
Washington star
In A letter 20 The Sydney australia Telegraph
a missionary on the FIJI Islands writes thus, ap-
propos OF the recent hurricane: Il most hrmiy De-
leve that the best thing man can do In hurri-
cane Is to keep on praying and mailing up diagonal
braces"
lows vs. rhanSSes are Tor eetting good wife?
Toni should say they were aooui equai 10 the
chsnSss % Nv nj love- Then guess won't marry
Smith Gray x cos illustrated Moh'h'y'
Az he was going down cellar TO rake the furnace
he ,hus unused with himself They say lent Is
- -, ,ackcoth and ashes, but III be hanged II
|
7 have 70 take care OF the ashes
c,ose Resembance.-"There are some points
about your writings that much resemble SNAKES
pear sd mink so? cried the delighted author.
who had brought his contribution in with MS own
hand ,ha editor continued. you employ almost
the same punctuation marks "-(Rockland Tribune.
Mr.. Pitiful-Comng home | met in the car man
who looked extremely sad; his face had the stamp
OF some serious trouble and his eyes looked full of
tears | tell you 1t was painful to see the man
Mrs Wttybird-Very likely the editor Of some
comic paper thinking of new jokes
The New Woman suppose the new T0 nm; n.
asked the merchant Mr. Hayes SEED sGIoih ~ s
chin minute deep down "'no"s '"' ''' "
whlskers anu sala
THE whut?' -. ,-..,.. o., M.
The new woman-the woman who is trying 10 10
Oh / guess she amt. Ercome to think Of !;
they was a bearded woman In the sideshow last
summer Perhaps she was one Of EN-. '-tC.ncinhau
Tribune.
THAT is a funny story" says THE Jersey cry
Evening Journal" that is told of the eagerness'
certain people in old Coventry. England. 70 clam
mo abstraction OF occupying the premises on wa.ca
,he now famous and popular actress Ellen Terry
WAS born. This il the story
.,E,uen Terry reached the age OF forty-seven .as'
month She was born In Coventry fngiand'
house In that place sports brdss pla'e bearing 'e
Ia~end. This is the birthplace OF Miss Ellen Ter
similar plate. stating that This Is the original
birthplace OF Miss Ellen Terry.
This reminds OF the two rival shOemakers IN
this city who years ago put up Their sishs
in front OF their premises. Cobbler No said On
his sign In big letters:
Boots and shoes repaired Mems conscia rect'
"Cobbler No .. whose snop just on the opPo-
site side OF the street. all that consderei ~
and then put up his sign. with this inscription
- Boots and shoes repaired. Mems and women .
conscia rect.'
Diagnosis by Telephone The benefcent uses OF "a
other night young Smythe awoke about a. NJ, WIZ IN
eXcrucatng pain in his stomach me h,orr,ne
sQulrmed the he grew. Finally lhc $3.50
thought flashed upon him that he had been P.assoS
In a moment he dashed out or bed. COW - ~
the telephone. and demanded 20 be swltehed on -
his ply sicans number without delay. r or nea'e"
sake doctor, come at once I'm posoheu II, na5 "a
The NJ D. who had also crawied OUT VI pnaLss
answer the summons growled back, ~" ha' '
you think so? ,,so a, fire
hurry up or I'm dead man. II, any
'fIumph. Does-er-does your stomach hi"Ae "''
nose. -. or some-
Yes: kinder grows-must be arsenic or s'"e'
thing" .- .a,,rs, the Dit
of your stomach. An! | thought so-you W IN, o
to the French Hospital fete this evefihs' '~''"'
you?
Yes sir" u.r.-al fer.
Exactly You're suffering from q g,ne;a' cake
mentaton II lemonade crab saiah, ~ ali right
plckled oysters end Roman punch YOU - az hen 70
y ED 'rs :a il! ,.'@ psERsssSsss