The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1895-09-15
WOODY JOURNALISM.
Some Extracts Reprinted From
Astoria Daily Bladder"
CHAMPION OF The PEOPLE
How the Bladder" jealousy Guard
ed the Cause of Truth, Hu-
manity and Justice.

While raiding a gambling house one
night last week the police came across
file of a publication termed the CAS-
tcria Daily Bladder" which was prompt
iy confiscated. Through the kindness OF
the authorities the Astorian will be en-
abled from time to time to publish ex-
tracts from this newspaper" The fol-
lowing paragraphs will serve to some
extent to give people an idea of a style
of journalism that flourished in Astoria
before the coming of the railroad:
Selection No. ~
The Bladder's political campaign is now
on and shisters will please take note OF
same We are going to run a citizens
ticket again this year. which the noble
success of our scheme years ago beck
ons us on to more victories. The Demo-
Gratis outside of two or three soreheads
is organized in there might, and the clti-
zens ticket this year Is going TO play
hokey once more. Old Bill Stypher has
come into the fold. At first he was leary
but we showed him how Republicans
could vote the citizens ticket without
hurting theirse,ves and he is one Of ouc
host. If the boys will only hoop her up
and get about 200 more republicans roped
in we can make the citizens gag go
again. And why not? By their fruit ye
shall recognize them and this two years
been the fattest in the history of the
burg.
The high collar dudes who 60 to the
theatre to ogel and disconcert the lady
actors have got to quit. A theatre is a
place of recreation and not a flirting
pace. Go easy boys we are onto you.
The hogwash in the morning sheet about
purity and morals makes us sick.
aFH
O.d Lady Garnett Of Skamoshwash has
pungled up at last. We didn't want to
expose her before the world, and know
ing we had go onto some things, like the
sensible lady she is, she came around and
decided US thirty acres, though not the
best land we could wish. This is no
b;ackmail sheet but when one gets onto
certain matters he should be recon-
penced for his ce!erity,
The Bladder is now preparing to put
in the markets an addition to Skamosh-
will be sub1lvlsioned into good sized lots
and we guarantee the proper title to The
land which is in no wild cat addition
but good and true investment With
each lot the purchaser can get a share
of stock in our paper, alone worth the
price charged which is five dollars for
insides and ten for corners.
At last the amateur rag is to be done
up, and 1t Is time say We Gentlemen
who have had al lifetime's experience
on the best papers in this continent has
came and will start a new morning daily
Immediately They will have no compe-
titon. The meas.ey rag on the corner
is on its last legs and even now is rotten
to the coar They win at once start
a live newspaper and if they want the
Bladder's hep we will loan them our
route boy for two or three months ana
put them up to some things besides rhli
will make the amateur rags head swim.
Their is a few tricks of the trade such
as clipping out faker telegraph and such
like which we llatter ourselves we are up
to, and can give our friends a few solid
hints about the same. Success to you
boys and may you kill the dirty monop-
oily sheet in short order,
There is a lady in destitute crcum-
stances in this town and it has come
to our ears that she is in a state border
ing on penuriousness. She has severeal
children, and all are starving. Her name
withheld for obvious reasons, not wishing
to let our right hand know what our left
hand doeth and there Is no need to pub
lish her name for the sting OF poverty
to point its finger at her. The Bladder
he's been much moved by this case, and
our collectors viii visit you in the next
few days for subscriptions for this worthy
object. Cash only, or certified checks,
made out to the Bladder editor, is
In order We viii attend to the rest,
such as provisions buying firing &c. We
have ran this charitable kind Of th!ng
two or three times before and its has
been always a success beyond all expect
ations. Get out your pocket books boys
and give without stint. The lady will
bless you for your kind hearts.
II people think that we are the only
ones who have got 1t in for Hammond
they are slipped up There is others with
more power and ability than we, such
powers gained by reason of his previous
intimacy with the man who can roast the
liver out of him, and as can be seen by
a glance at our editorial columns our
friend is getting it hot
The low lived Bladder thief has got
in his work agam but was caught in
the act. Last Wednesday he approached
a Widows stoop as the evening dusk was
setting in and stole up a copy of the
Bladder The widow seen him through
the window and says, 20 sir, don't de-
| prive me of that, 1t Is a necessity to me
ana mine, and take anything else but
.eave me that" And we are creditably
informed that the back hearted scoundrel
| laughed in her face and that he answered
by putting the Bladder in his jeans and
| fesoniously making off with it, But the
reckoning is at hand for all such dirty
work. We Nvill donate the agents OF
the dirty morning rag a copy of the Bad
der, but II ye are men don't steal 1t from
| widows
The following attribute 10 ourselves is
/ received.