davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17
A Fishln And A FoOlin,

But it is way yonder different with
your humble servant now. l still feel
as young and fresh and healthy and
and hongry and happy as a yearlin
boy, you understand, but l can't so as
fast nor come as quick, nor travel rs
many gaits, O cover as much ground
in one day as / use to could.
May be you mought wonder how in
the thunderations l come to find it out
so student like, and in orderment to be
plum natural and honest l am bound to
own up and tell you that l have been
fool enough here lately to try it on.
Bright and early one mornin last
week Will Tom Pickens and little Bunk
Weatherford come by my house in a
wagon and give it out to me that they
vas goin off down on Big Wolf Creek
on a fshin frolic, and nothin would do
but l must pack up and go with them.
l was dead crazy to 60 from the jump,
you understand, but for the sake of
peace at home and general experiments
| pulled on the bit considerable and
finally at last told the boys bein as it
was them / reckon I would have to go.
So we lit out, we did, and on the way
down to the creek we made a run on
Deacon Joiner's orchard, and by this
time YOU understand, that one-horse
wagon was loaded to the guards with
fishin poles and kitchen physic, and
fruit and nicknacks nnd-other farm
producements.
The weather it was particlar hot, but
we made the trip in the cool of the
mornin, ard durin the day down there
on the creek we had more fun-of one
sort and another-than you could shake
a stick at. We didn't do any tishin to
hurt. you understand, but there was a
fryin pan along with us and by dinner
time we had caught fish enough to
make the gravy smell monstrous good.
And in the main time l had managed to
work up a tremendous big appetite. l
felt, right then, like l mought eat a
stewed roastin ear patch and a baked
mule for dinner.
After dinner we went on fishin and
foolin till way long in the shank of the
e~venin, and then took the back trail
and lit out for home. We had the
greatest plenty of fun and some luck,
which | think the bulliest luck of all
was that we didn't see no snakes that
day, you understand. But when / got
home that night l went to bed, and l
stayed right there, off and on, for three
days and nights hand runnin.
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17
A Plain Family Talk.

One day whilst I was laid up for re-
pairs-flat of my back and as helpless
aud harmless as a baby-Mothec lit in,
she did, and give me a plain family
talk. She had been monstrous good
and kind in fixin up the salts and snake
root and other compliments to pull me
through and save my life, and l couldn't
find it in my heart to sass her back.
And what. was more, l jest naturally
lowed it mought be n blame good time
of year for me to say nothin.
IF anything I reckon it hurts me a
little the worst, Rufus, for you to cone
home and go to bed and curl up and git
sick" says she in openin up the con
fabulation. but you can't blame
nobody with the wherefore and whence
ness of all this trouble and confusion
ment but your WI fat fool self. It's
exactly what l lowed when you driv off
down the road with VIII Tom Pickens
and little Bunk Weatherford. To see
yourunnin around over the whole entire
country, maxim stump speeches and
writin for the newspapers, anybody
would think that you ought to have
sense like quality folks, but sometimes
it does look to me like you have got the
most slimmest and pecurious way of
shown it of any man l have ever vet
saw.
"When / see you all donbled up there
with one of them sneakin pains 1t hurts
me; Rufus, but I wouldn't be a good,
true wife if l didn't tell you the naked,
unwnshed truth in regards to yourself.
/ have already before now told you and
told you-more times than 1 have got
fingers and toes-that your young mag
noIious DAYS are over with and past.
You may feel young and try to look
young and make out like you are
young, but .rou amt. And for some
years ! have took particular notice hat
every time you take one of them colty
spells and go gallopin off and carryin
Oh like a youngster. then you come
home and go to bed. If it amt one
thing it is somethin else-the mully
grubs, or the rheumatic, or the summer
complaints. 1t won't do, Rufus, it
begin to sorter half way do for a
man that has lived as much as you
have.
why in the name Of creation don't
you keep company along with your w
gang-men that you was born and bred
and brung up with? As for that. l
Will Tom Pickens and little
Bunk Weatherford amt got no more
baby teeth to shed, but still at the same
time they haven't lived more than half
Is long-and not one-third as much-as
you have. It makes me plum weak and
weary, Rufus, TO hear you talkin and go;n
on about the sights I'VE boys" have
seen, and the fun Gus boys have had.
the other day when I saw you
sailin off down the big road with the
boys, as you were wont to say, I
moved good and we'll that the next
thing in order was for me to 20 and git
the salts and snake root ready.
u reckon no doubts q stsongt and
healthy appetite is . mighty good thing
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17
GATHERED IN COURT,

M. CAcHARD, the legal adviser of this
United States embassy at Paris, has
just translated the Code Napoleon into
English.
C%HILL1corHE, Mo-, is to follow the ex
ample Of a number of western town.
and revive the curfew bell. It is te
ring at nine o'clock, and will be thu
Ngnal for all children under fourteen
to hurry home under penalty of arrest
SOME burglars in Fort Scott, Kan.
after raiding a house, found a police.
man who had evidently been overcome
by that tired feeling" He was sitting
or q shaded stoop, sound asleep. They
robbed him of his uniform and his
boots.
A CHICAGO pickpocket boasts that
last year he made SIS, 1911 10 by his pro-
fcssion; and he is anxious to know if hs
is liable to an income tax on the sum in
excess of s., 900. Business is good with
him, and he is willing to pay such .
trife as s35 for the support Of a heuea
cent Royernmelt
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17

for a man to have. / have heard people
talk about losin their appetltes, ana
from what you say, and from the gene
raj experiments, it looks to me nko
somebody must of lost two or three
appetites down there on the creek, n
you come along and found EN-. 1t may
be mought not be SO bad II you would
but only stick to plain eatin, but you
are too old in the harness now to stand
SIGH a terrible mixtry and 80 many
fancy trimmins. You think more OF
your bread basket, Rufus, and then
turn around and treat it worse than
any man that ever lived in the who'll
discovered world perhaps.
There is one thing in particular that
I would love to put you in mind OF,
Rufus, and o o as ever you git up and
about you can take out your little note
book and set it down. Nature don't do
no slip-shod business on a credit. She
never did and she never will, and when
somever you go and break into her
laws pay day is comm and you must
settle for your fun in spot cash"
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17
but that stuff went to the

~"ByGeorge, but that stuff went to the
in a whole month. You'll see me a
new man in about a week."
That was ten minutes later. Twenty
minutes later Mr.. Bowser gave a sud-
den start and laid his hand on his
stomach.
us it still going to the right spot?"
asked Mrs. Bowser.
Say! I have pain and feel queer!'
he answered as he stood up. Couldn't
be anything wrong about that invig-
orator, could there"
"Of course not. A noted physician
doesn't send an invigorator out
into the world to give his fellow-men
pains and queer feelings, does he?"
"Ooch! BY gum, but the room is
whirling around, and 1 can't keep my
feet on the floor! l believe I've been
poisoned!'
"Here-lie down on the lounge"
said Mrs. Bowser, as she helped him
over. You are sure that was invig-
orator, are you?"
SIT must have been. Great Scott!
but see how ! sweat"
Let me go down and get a look at
the bottle"
She was back in thirty seconds with
the bottle in her hand, and as she held
it out to him she asked:
did you order a bottle of Dandruf
Eradicator this afternoon?"
Yves"
Well, acre it is, and you've taken q
big dose of it in place of the invig-
orator. You never even stopped to see
what the stuff vas
And Im-I'm poisoned" he gasped
as he drew up his legs and threw up
his hands.
"Perhaps not. AS you haven't over
forty hairs and not a scale of dandrutf
on your head perhaps this is to remove
the dandruff from your stomach"
And will I dieo'
II hope not. You lie still while I
get the sweet Oil and mustard"
For the next hour Mrs. Bowser doped
and dosed and plastered, and Mr.. Bow
ser kicked about and groaned and took
on like a sick child. BY and by the
eradicator, seemed to have finished
eradicating and he began to feel
easier. Mrs. Bowser could have said
lots of things to make the situation
more painful for him. but she gave
him words of sympathy and coincidence
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17

instead. It was not until he was so
far relieved that he was slowly creep
ing upstairs to bed that she said:
'Of course your lawyer will see my
lawyer in the morning and arrange
about the alimony and the custody of
the child.'
Mr.. Bowser sat down on the stair
step and looked down at her for a min
ute. Then he sighed and groaned and
went creeping along up with tears in
his eyes. Mrs. Bowser had foored him
for the first time in a year.-Detroit
Free Press.
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17
FOR SALE.

WILL sell for cash or on easy terms the fol-
J. lowing described property, viz:
l. A plantation in Bellevue containing ahout
sixty-six arpents. all thoroughly fenced and
Grained. with tenant house and outbuiIdings.
known as the Narcisse Richard place.
2. A plantation situated on the Courtah ,oau
containing four hundred and forty-two and
u. 100 arpehts, about sixty arpents under pieux
ana wire fence and in cultivation, with two good
tenant houses and outbuildings, Tbe rear of
this tract consists of cypress swamp.
3. Several tracts of wood land on the bavou
nechs, situated between Coulon's bridge and
Barry Landing. "N
The frst and second tracts are rented adyan-
tageousiy for the year 1894, and If sold I will
transfer rent notes to purchasers.
w. &. PERRAULT.
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17
HOUSEKEEPING IN CHINA.
A Recent View of the Land of the
MOngolians.

A Recent View of the Land of tn.
Mongolians.
After reading all about China by
twenty-five authors, / supposed tina
few travellers go there because of it:
filthy cities, terribly-bad inns, and the
hostility of the people toward foreign,
ers. l supposed that if anyone did &c
there he would certainly be hooted al
and hustled. if not stoned, as SO many
of the heroic authors say they were;
he would risk catching the cholera,
the smallpox, or the black death, and
he would sustain himself upon a diet
of rats and cats amid a dirty, poverty
stricken people swarming upon a
wretched country. Even after I
reached China l found that there were
plenty of Europeans in the treaty
ports who know no more of the land
on whose edge they live than to repeat
these calumnies. In spite of every.
thing, / travelled about two of the
eighteen provinces. And by choosing
the best part of the empire, by carry.
ing d large stock of that good-nature
which works the greatest magic with
the Chinese, and by being properly
counseled, I enjoyed the most de-
lightful of all my journeys-one SO COM
pletely delightful that / do not hest
tate to recommend it to the. great army
OF glob%e-trotters, even to the most fas-
tidious ladies and the tenderest chill
dren among them.
saw filthy cities-though few more
dirty than l have seen in other parts
of the Fundamentally Cuba therefore
| avoided all of them except Ka-din,
which proved that not all are especial
~ dirty. Ibid not trouble the inns, and
am not even certain that | saw a single
one of them. I was terribly cursed by
an old hag in Soo-chow, but that gave
her pleasure and did me no harm. I
was otherwise charmingly entertained
by a very good-natured, playful peo-
pie, who never failed to grin at me,
and who always got heartily laughed
at in return, because we were both so
funny-looking in each others eyes. AS
for the smallpox, cholera and black
death, ! have no doubt that, as MIR.
England, of Foo-chow, told me, these
epidemics grow wearisome when the
funerals become incessant," but I did
see one European who dreaded
them, Or more than one who had ever
caught one of these everyday Injuries.
| made my longest journey in the
Swallow houseboat, with every Euro
pean comfort, eating as if | were a
very rich a in London or in Paris,
waited on by eleven servants. at an
average daily cost of about five dollars
each for two of us, enjoying as rich, as
fertile and as beautiful a country as
the sun is able to visit in his rounds,
and being amused and informed by a
constant succession of the liveliest. the
funniest, the ~strangest and the most
interesting experiences that / am able
to imagine with my occidental intel
lect.-Julian Ralph, in Harper's Maya
zine.
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17

and 60 down on the creek a tishin and
swimmin and foolin around, and have
the regular fsherman's luck, and eat
dinner enough for three different peo-
pie, and fling in Fl apples and 81 peaches
and my hat full of plums for good
measure, and never miss a meal Of
tictuals or lose q lick of sleep.
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17

better teeth and
a heapt the moest
fun. l can re-
collect the time
a y b a c K
there in the gol-
den days of my
b O V h @ o d
which it ralev
seems to me like
that was only
y ester a y
when I could
pitch out on a
hot summer day
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17

I'm 1890 there were 472 mannfac-
tories of silk IN this country, with an
invested capital of S5l. 900. OO0, employ
ing over 100000 hands, to whom
were paid wages of $40, 700, 600, the
product Of the factories being roughly
valued at $ss7, Q 1000
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17

Mrs. R1cKETTs-"What do you think OF
Mrs. Dickey?" Mr.. Snooper-''She is n
of the manifest little women l knoW.~
Judge.
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17
Ten The~Hand Miles or Thirty,

SHE-ssThis is so sudden! You must ask
mamma" He-"Oh, that's all right. She
has given me several hints already."-Puck.
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17

Upon receipt of your address we will
mail free a package of beautifully illus
trated transparent cards, picturing and ex-
planning just how and why men frequently
suffer from nervous troubles that prevent
their doing the right hing at the right time.
Edition limited. Ad., mentioning this pa
per, Sterling Remedy Co., New York City
or Chicago.
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17
"EISIiIN AND FOOLIN."
The Sage Of Rocky Crock Goes
Lame at Last.
A Day With The Boys On The Creek-Lsid
Up For Repairs-A Plain Family
Yalk-"It Aint Sweet No More
Fools Amongst Smart Men.
Copyright 1859

Naturally, of course, a man has got
more sense than a boy would have, but
a how il more than probable to have
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17

ALL the impediments in fancy's course
are motives of more ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS.
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17

SAFETY to mother and child and less un.
ple%asantness after confinement, result from
use Of Mothers Friend" Sold by druggists.
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17

TRLLBY, Trilby, give me our answer true,
What in the name of goodness have we
ever done to you!
-Tnurr Torioa
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17

It matters rhE which, nay subject you to
sea sickness on the "briny deep" Whether
you are a yachtsman, an ocean traveller, out
for a day or two's fishing on the salt water,
or even an inland tourist in feeble health,
you ought to be provided with liostetter's
Stomach Bitters, a valuable remedy fer
nausea, collie, biliousness, acidity OF the
stomach, malaria, rheumatism, nervousness
and sick headache. Lay in an adequate
supply.
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17

NOTHING is rarer han the use of a word
in its exact meaning.-Whipple.
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17
b. BLO&,MFIELD.

commissioned U. S. Circuit Court for the West.
ern District of Louisiana.
Commissioner U. S. Court of Claims throuehout
the United States.
Notary Public in and for the Parish Of st Ian.
dry. Once with Hon. John N. Ogden.
Particular attention given to Land Cases and
e Final Proofs. Collections in the Parishes OF
St. Landry and Acadia promptly attended to-.
tensions secured; Patents, Caveats, Trade
Aarks, etc., procured without delay.
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17
It Amt Sweet New.

Now in regards to Mother. she was
right that day. She most in generally
is right. 1t plum natural with
her to be right, and perfectly all right.
But then as to newell, as yet l Sin
only fair to middlin. you understan3 ]
am a right smart like Joe Nick StrinEer
was that time when he got inVS3kar
barrel. When Joe Nick was nVthin but
a yearlin boy he had a tremend us big
sweet tooth for sugar. In re- bard to
sugar he wa about like a fool Srinkin
good whisky-he didn't know when to
take out and quit.
Whereas and consequentially @hest
upon a time old man Stringer took joe
Nick to town, and took him to a grocery
store and showed him to the store
keeper.
There is a boy that has eve got
enough sugar since he was horned into
the world says the old a land l
want him to git egood bait before he
dies. Turn him loose in a sugar barrel
and let him eat till he gifts enough, then
weigh up what is left and charge the
package to me-
So the storekeeper he took Joe Nick
into the back room, knocked the head
out of a sugar barrel and told him to
wade in. Late along in the shank OF
the evenin the storekeeper went into
the back room after somethin, and
there was Joe Nick, you understand,
still packin away the sugar.
"Well, my little man." says the store.
keeper, "aint you got enough sugar
yet?'
NO SIR" says Joe Nick, II couldn's
say for certain that have got enough,
but by the Hokus-pokus I havedone got
down to where it amt sweet"
Now | don't make out like I have got
enough of 6shin and foolin around
down on Big Wolf Creek, you under
stand, but by gracious at any rates l
have done got to the pass where it amt
sweet no more.
Which was Which and Who was Who
About the most strangest thiag in
this wide and wicked world to me is to
find so many natural born fools amongst
SLldI 9lcu. NOW III regards TO sense,
Elder Newton and Bob Nettles stand
way up yonder in the settlement, but
they got into a terrible big disputation
one day last week as to which side of a
railroad train-the inside or the outside
is the highest when she runs around
a curve. / don't know which was which
nor who was who, but anyhow Boo
stuck to it that one side wa the highest,
whilst Elder Newton maintains that
the other side was the highest. So
there they had it-up and down and
over and under-till finally at last they
worked up a little side bet of three dol
lars ard six bits as to which was which
and who was who.
Last Saturday they saddled up their
horses and lit out and rode fifteen miles
up the country to find the railroad and
see a train go round the curve in order
ment to settle the bet, They found the
railroad and a curve and then Numbered
down there and waited for a train to
run. That is all | know c~xceptin that
Bob he win the bet and the Elder says
there amt no kick comm his way.
But me and Andy Lucas are now
thinkin right serious about takin out
papers of complement to send Bob and
the Elder off to the crazy Sloan.
RUFUS SANDERS.
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17

"SoME men, said Uncle Eben, ''am so fab
sighted dat dey KANT possibly lib ter ketch
up ter lie benefit OBJ dab discoveries" p
WASHINGTON Star,
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17
He Lacked the Nerve to Make Her Happ

TRAIN up a hired girl in the wy she
should so, and the first thing you kntw she
will go.-Rockland Tribune.
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17
summer Tourist Rates.

The North-W Yves tern Line Chicago &
North Western R'y) is now selling excur.
sion tickets at reduced rates to st. Paul,
Minneapolis, Duluth, Ashland, Bayfield,,
Marquette, Deadwood, Dakota, Hot Springs,
Denver, Colorado Springs, Manitou, Salt
Lake City, and the lake and mountain re.
sorts Of Inc west aud northwest. For rates
and fullinformation apply to Agents of con
Meeting lines. Illustrated pamphlets, Civ.
application to w. B. Kniskern, G.. P. Il 7.
A, Chicago 81 Northwestern R'y, Chi.
cago, III.
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17
SMALL FARMS

Lot |, Section Is, T 2, S, RI, E, 1924 IS. 100 acres.
Lot 2, Sec. IS, same T and r., 2o4 70. 100 acres.
Situated in Bayou Chicot settlement and
partly improved.
These lands have been patented by the United
Euted by Geo. X. Bradford, Esq, u. S. Deputy
Surveyor, and are choice uplands.
Also W y nv a Sec. "a, T 3, g., r 1. E, State
T3, $, Il. l. W, U. S. patent No. 4945, Containing
q acres.
Y OF Sc "A Sec. II and 70 of W n Sec. 10, T
h. ]. w, containing 161 20. 100 acres. This 10
nlfe timDer land. and adjoins Marlus I,andreneau
On the west. Will sell each lot separately, or
the whole to suit purchasers. Apply to
id. HAGGERTY, Washington, La,
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17
[amilton-Brown Shoe CO.'S sa

Sales for June, 1896. s5ls. 6e7 l2
I" 1894 455 ,693. 90
Gain for June, 1895. S63. 0O3 81
Total sales for 1895 up to July LIS So. 1851 90
" " 1894 q I" :" l..... 2.3S7 CAB. 81
Gain for 1895 up to July 1.......... SlS7, l2l4c
The Opelousas courier., 1895-08-17
MIR. AND MRS. BOWSER.
BY M. QUAD.

UST as the BOwSer family
had finished dinner the
other evening a boy rang
the bell and delivered a
package. Mrs. Bowser an
swered the bell in person,
and as she reentered the
sitting-room with it in
her hand she said:
This seems to be for
you, and l guess it's a
bottle"
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1895-08-03
THE SPRAY.
An Accident In the Bay to Captain
Curtis Yacht.

An Accident In the Bay to Captain
Curtis Yacht.
The yacht Spray, which has
gained such notoriety during the
past few months, nearly lost both
her bowsprit and mast this morn
ing. The Spray had been chartered
for a pleasure trip by two gentle
men, evidently strangers. Captain
Curtis and the crew had the yacht
ready to start at 9 o'clock. Both
mainsail and jib had been hoisted
and the line ends cast of. The
Spray headed straight for the
side of the bark S. c. Allen. The
bowsprit struck the Allen and glided
along the side of the vessel, with
the exception Of a slight bend
not being injured at all
The mast then caught in the
rigging of the Allen, and but fol
the prompt assistance would have
snapped. A sailor on the bark
threw a rope to the men on the
Spray and the yacht was pulled
clear 1t took about fifteen minutes
till the Spray was sailing down the
harbor before a stiff breeze. Some
one suggested to Paddy Curtis moi
to go out, owing to the bad omen,
but the Spray went.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1895-08-03
Highest Of all in Leavening PowerLaet U. s. Govt Report
R@A:!:!!!! RRsklaHs
ABSOLUTEEY PURE

is lengthy one, is from the con
ference committee. 1t was adopted
Representative Kamauoha moved
that the rules be suspended that he
might introduce a resolution. Be.
fore doing so he would ask the
members if they did not think TIA
it would be very handy thing to
have the minutes of the session
printed in pamphlet form, the work
do be done by an outsider as the
secretary would not be able to do
the work.
Representative Richards thought
it unnecessary. Any member OF
of the House desiring to read re-
port of the Legislature can buy a
file Of papers.
Representative Winston thought
that If anyone wanted to print
copies of the minutes of the House,
he could do so, and those wishing
a copy can buy one.
The resolution was not intro
duced.
The cable bill was taken up on
third reading and passed unani-
mously.
Representative Kamauoha intro
duced resolution authorizing the
committee on accounts to purchase
twenty-five copies of the report of
the proceedings Of the House this
session. The work is to be done
by Frank Godfrey, and it will con-
tain the portraits of all members of
the House.
Representative Richards opposed
the resolution OH the ground that
he did not feel like expending the
money of the public for books for
the personal use. -
Representative Robertson favored
the resolution but would make all
amendment so as to read that the
amount expended not exceed 800.
Representative Bond made a
further amendment that the sum
appropriated not exceed $I25.
Carried.
At noon the House adjourned to
10 o'clock on Monday.