The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1895-02-26
Major Has a Good Cry and Feels

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=. Major Has a Good Cry and Feels
p..rer--He Gets a Letter From
Mrs, Bilkins and Writes One
in Reply Political Out
look Still Gloomy.
R-"Hellol Mr. Editor"
p-"HeIol Major. You talk like
An have quite a bad cold"
1--we gota bad cold, roomatizum,
..,tboke, headake, heartake, corns,
s~nions, blisters an likeness ov the
Sa.d but that amt whut makes my
-oi,o so week. I've jist been takin' a
.,,de old fashioned cry. I got a letter
tr,m BETSY this mornin' an instead ov
bain'a q great big grown up polertishum
I'm now a little child. I got homesick
a, soon az I seed Betsy's handwritin'
m the henveiope. Betsy amt an elo-
,ront writer, but she alters could raze
nore tender reckerlecshuns and sky
.osrinl emoshuns in my breast than
any O an livIn' or dead. She has
hin able ter manage me in everything
Init nv pollyticks, an'Ireckin she will
git me swear off on votin' the dyma-
Frst ticket before ten years IL out.
BETSY il a six horse team at most any
thing she undertakes. Here il a copy
O7 her letter:
wake Co N. c.,
Feb. 30, 1895.
Dear Zekie:-
I seat myself to drop you a few
lines to let you know that l am well
and hope you are enjoying the same
great blessing. Zakie, dear Zekie. why
don't you come home to your darllng7
You don't know how much l miss you.
The neighbours all say you r never
coming back to your wiley, but l know
better. l can trust you anywhere ex-
cept at the ballot box. You are the
sweetest man in the State. Z9kie,
come home. You will never be Gov
ernor of the State. You have been in
the mountains for several weeks and
you cen see that Providence is against
you, for you have been snow bound
nearly all the time, and the moonlight
Whskey men nearly killed you. Come
home, dearest. The horses look sad
on account of your absence. Every
thing is getting wrong, The hogs are
out running wild and the COWS are
going dry. You know the machine
will not nominate you. Why continue
OWaste time running around9 Come
home, Zekie, I've got a thousand kisses
for you, a million, if you want them,
Come home, Zekie.
Betsy"
II tell you that made me homesick.
l jes' sot down at once and writ ter her
a. fOllers:
Pilot Mob, N c.,
Feb. %, 1896.
Dear Betsy
your h~eartrendin' an homesick-
snin' letter just reserved. I'm in the
same fix you are, but l can't tell it like
you do. But everything IL Citing out
OV jint with me. I'm homesick an if
this feelin' don't wear off I'll hav' to
90 home an take my chances fer the
next legislator. I'll be like the prodi,
gal son, only I'm the prodigal hus
band. That il my noshun now, but
L happen ter run cross a Cleveland
dymakrat over in these diggins I'll git
over aWI this nyfugglin business
an keep on trampin' Ground. I'm
bound ter be Guverner or bust a trace.
IdOn't beleeve G%uverner Carr will give
up the offs to anybody else. I'm fer
Wimmin's rites If Governor Carr il
agin them. or visa versey. Do awl
You kin ter cumfOrt the nabers an the
horses an cattle till l git home.
Your Deer Zsky."
R-'That letter is all right. You
are a diplomat and know how to pour
oil on the troubled domestic waters"
B.-"I don't know erbout bein: a
diplomat, but I'm a full grown Cleve-
land dymakrat, event if cotton Is 4 cents
a pound. I'm fer high tariff or low
tarlf, an believe IN reciprocity an ter
tne victers belong the Ohses. My
naWWayin policy II awlso bomOprooI
al I'm in favor Ov givin' Finland a
wOftgage on the country fer a debt we
"eVer owed. II that don't make me a
suoe Wall street dymakrat I'll resign
"laVor ov John sherman GUIDE bye"
What this country needs, said Mr..
MIK - VI