The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1895-02-27
HUMlR OF THE DAY.

A man vino is crooked usually fol
lows his own bent.
You can usually tell an ass by his
lack Of horse-sense. Puck.
Miss Elderly-"I tainted last night.
Maude--"Who p-oposed?"--Life.
A man would be surplisedif he were
what a woman thinks ne is.--Detroit
Free Press.
She-''Aud what would you be now
If it weren't for my moaeY% He
"a bachelor. Pail Mall Budget.
Elsie-"She says s.,e is twenty.
two" Ethel-"Then She must have
deducted her time allowance. PUCK.
Let play house be built
Which no others may uso
Than the girls with big hats
And the men with big shoes.
Washington Star
He-''Darling, will you love me
when I'm gone?" She-"Yes, if you
are not too far gone. "-Londcn rid
Bits.
Miss Olds-"Zes; he said yesterday
that to him my face was like book.
Miss Friend "As plain as that?'--
Puck.
The first setback in many q mans
life occurred at school when he was
set back among the girls. -Rookland
(Me.) Tribune.
''But what earthly use is IL TO Gis-
cover the North Pole? can't see.
at will save future expeditions. -
Harper's Bazaar
"How can there be sucn thing s.
a whole day, yen know" unused
Fweddy, "when it bweaks evewy
mawning ?"-Chicago Tribune.
"You'll please look over this small BILL
Exclaimed the dun. Tne debtor took IL
And then said he. with weary smile,
'Td rather overlook it,"
Philadelphia Record.
There is one thing 1 have
TO say in favor of the wind when il
whistles" Dullhead- whats thai ?"
Pertly-"It never whistles popular
airs. "-Harper's Bazaar.
No matter how good the deacon is,
he will always look wise and pleased
if anybody suggests that he was a
pretty lively young fellow when he
was q boy.-Somerville Journal.
81 thought you told me that Miss
Brown had spent great deal of money
on her voice?" "Well, SO 1 did. "
"But she can't sing" "Well, didn':
say that she could, did I?"-Truth.
Little Rich Girl-"Don't you wish
you had a pair of lovely red gloves
like me?" Little Poor Girl-"Dont
you wish you had pair of lovely fe6
hands, like ?"-South Boston News.
Bronson-"Havo the detectives
found out anything about that burg
larry yet?" Johnson-"Yes; they've
come to the conclusion that the mo-
tive for the crime was money. ."-Bos.
ton Herald.
There is a woman in Georgia weigh.
ing 600 pounds who makes moonshine
whisky. Hasn't woman who weighs
900 pounds got trouble enough of her
own without making it for other
peopleP-Rockland Mo Tribune.
She lat the dinner) II think our
hostess is the most perfect lady ever
saw" He-"Yes, but l notice that
she made one break early in the even
ing" She-'She always does that.
1t puts her guests more at their ease. "
New York Herald.
Rambling Raggsy-"Will yer please
give me a dime, sir, to get sumthin'
to eat?" Citizen-"What can you gel
for a diner" r.. RI kin get a
plate of hash for a nickel, sir" c.
"What do you want with the other five
csnts?" II. r. THAT, sir, is fur a tip
fur the waiter New York Press.
Sir George-"Look here, John MY
lady complains that when you see her
in the street you never salute her.
What do you mean by it?" john
''Beggin' your pardin, Sir George, but
in a book on ettyketty which 1 pos.
sess it ic set down that tho lady ought
to bow first. "-Household Words.
Tie neighbor who borrows your
wheelbarrOw and rake and spriukling
hose aud lawn-mOwer and one thing
and another in tho summer never
comes to borrow your snow shovel in
the winter. And when he shoyels of
his own walk it is touching to note
with what cxaotness he works up to
the line where your lots divide, with
out infringing the smallest fraction of
an inch upon tho snow that lies on your
part Of the sidewalk. -Rockland Me
Tribune.