The Van Buren press., 1895-05-18
"A MOUNTAIN STAGE RIDE.
How the New Driver Entertained
His Passengers.

We had ridden three hours with q
stupid stage driver, and I was cha
sgrincd and disappointed. had en-
gagged the front seat for two weeks In
advance, and had expected to have q
chance to study one Of the old-timo
stage drivers on his native heath; but,
though II was said he had been on the
route twenty years, he simply chewed
quid Of tobacco and could not be in
duced to talk. An occasional grunt of
assent or dissent was the most he
vouchsafed us, and it was with feel
ing Of relief that we changed stages
1t Murphy's and had another driver.
Tho drive from Murphy's to Angels
Is over fifteen miles Of dusty and nm
interesting road, and we had looked
forward to the prospect with pleasure,
but our new driver had an air Of busi-
ness and . looseness Of tongue that
wero very refreshing after the num-
mified silence Of the other man, and
promised we'll for our entertainment.
Then, too. we saw that we had made
. mistake about our first driver. The
second man was, of course, the old
ptager, with his many thrilling adven-
lures and hairbreadth escapes, while
the first man was evidently novice In
the business We took our seats and
prepared ourselves for most interest
Ajng time. s--...-sg.4. :
Hope you're NIL comfortable.
jadies?" began our second man, In q
manner very different from the other
gru6 bore. Il do like mighty we'll to
have ladies. In the front seat with me;
but I'm quite fav'rite with the ladies,
It seems-tbey always want the front
seat"
..Dh. SEQ. you are tho old stage
driver" exclaimed, land you will
tell us some of your interesting stories.
How lovely! What Is your name?"
my real name's-no matter. But
they all call me Tennessee up here.
You see come from Tennessee, an
I've got tho southern twang, an when
first como I talked heap bout my
native state, an Dragged some, too, l
guess, coming from tho south, you
know. an the boys like to josh fel-
low. But I've travelled round so much
that I've lost most Of my twang-
knocked bout considerable in my day.
Fellow can't help rubbing on some pol
ish, yon .know--I expect that's why I'm
such a fav'rite with the ladies'
Its real funny how all the old
maids get stuck on me, an the widders,
too" Tennessee chuckled. "By Jim
miny cricketts! Excuse me, II / get of
q swear word now an then-I. don't
know which Is theworst, old maids or
widders." Il took sly glance at my
companion, who. was young and
pretty widow who lived In San Fran
oisco). Pm writing q book on my ex-
perience. with the women"
s'why." said the little widow, II
should think you would get married,
with 80 many to choose from"
''Weil, It does sesm that way. You
SEQ, did try It onct. I'm widderer-
got SONS over twenty years old
wouldn't believe II now, would you?
Most people take me TO be bout
thirty. I'm by rights over forty; but
great Jupiter whipstitch!-ex-cuse me.
We old stagers can't help little pro-
fanity-Il wouldn't have any trouble
marrying. l most always propose to
the women before I get through" (My
pretty companion began to look
alarmed. THE women like it-par-
ticular the widows. Now we're coming
to q little down grade. Got on pretty
heavy load, SO guess we'll take 1t easy.
Go1ong there, Suse = Nick, you old
rack-a-bones!'
We rounded the brow Of the hill, and
the horses began the steep descent
with gentle trot; but within few
seconds their speed had accelerated TO
q hard Rallop. The old Concord coach
rolled from side to side, and we seemed
in danger Of upsetting, but our time
had not yet come, and we reached the
level road In safety. The widow and /
were gazing at Tennessee with admi-
ration. How fearless he was! What
splendid driving! But timid man on
the back seat was the first to recover
his speech.
II think you had better use your
brake, driver" he said in querulous
voice; that driving was altogether too
fast for heavy coach"
"Listen to the old duffer," said Ten
nessee, soto voce. "Guess he never
seen hill before" Then he raised his
voice. well, did try" he said.
calmly glancing back. "Why, Lord,
the brakes goneI" he exclaimed.
We all looked at the rear wheels in
dismay. The brake was gone in truth.
well, we'll have to go back that's
plain" said the timid man.