The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1895-03-06
THAT BROTHER.

My names George George limbs,
that is
/ have a brother, Reginald. dare
say you've heard of him. He's terri
BILE trial to me. He's got himself talked
about good deal lately by appearing
in print in we'll known weekly-that
is, he oonfides his misfortunes to an in
dulgent editor by way of warning to
the public. don't believe that's the
real reason. think it's nothing but con-
ceit and desire to sec his name in
print At any rate, I've put stop to
it. No moro of his plaintive tales bring
ing me in as the callous and hard heart
ed brother. I've had to put my foot
down. He wanted to spin long yarn
about his most recent experience. l
said, "No." He took solemn oath i'll
my presence after that disgraceful affair
that he would never put pen to paper in
that way again, and l mean to see that
he keeps his word.
Besides, to my mind, he's more or
less off his head now and not i'll fit
state to appeal to his friend the editors
all embracing public. don't pretend
to be able to string sentences together
perhaps quite as we'll as he does, but
can always speak to the point. 1t is
more to pacify him than anything else
that induces me to make this thing pub
lie property, for / don want to see him
relapse into that state of imbecility
from which he has only lately emerged.
You may remember the idiotio way
in which he allowed himself to be swim
died out of most Of our belongings by q
common thief got up as detective from
Scotland Yard. He was very bad after
that, and no wonder. All my cricket
and football cups gone for ever all
through his stupidity 1t makes me wild
when think of it, But it had at least
one RESULT made him exceedingly
cautious and suspicious. Suspicious
wasn't the word for it. He gave Mrs.
Plaggs instructions not to allow soul
inside the house on any pretext what
ever unless he or were at home. Then
he began to suspect the friends who oc-
casionally dropped in to see us Of an
evening. He imagined they were detect
ives or thieves made up" to represent
Jickseys or Snibs, as the case might be,
and he put all sorts of artful questions
to these young men, thinking to catch
them mapping. Sherlock Holmes" was
hardly ever out of his hand.
He had got it into his head that all
the noted "oracksmen" in London were
on his track and waiting for chance to
viotimize him. He would dodge about,
as he thought, suspicious looking char
acters in the streets, and imagining that
he was followed would take the most
circuitous route home, and altogether
conducted himself in ridiculous man
ner. But when it came to his carrying
about loaded revolver, always under
his pillow at night, and when he nearly
did for me with it, on my returning
home late one evening, had to do
something. So / sent him on to his
mother for month.
The country air gradually Gained him
down, though at first he gave the local
police something to think about. The
live stock on the farm, too, got wonder
fully expert in lodging his gun. When
some restless heifer ventured too near
the house during the night. it seemed to
know that the cautious opening OF o
window meant premature bloodshed,
and at the sound would scurry off be-
hind hedge, SO that it was only one or
two of the inexperienced Norfolks that
carried the marks of Reggie's breech-
loader, intended of course for thieves.
1t was observed, however, that during
that month there was a marked absence
of followers about the house.
All this is by way of explanation OF
what followed.
1t was about week after Reginald's
return to the city, and he had got home
rather earlier than usual This is what
was afterward told happened. The
faithful Plaggs, our long suffering land
lady, had gone to answer ring at the
bell.
(Which it may be hall right. sir, an
it amt for the likes o. me to say as 'ow
1t amt, but makes bold to remark that
Mr.. Reginald is very nervous O. visit
ors. +"
''That may be, my good woman, but
don't fancy he will be afraid Of his
uncle, who has come all the way from
Australia to see him. So just show me
up.
Thus responded an elderly gentleman
in CHEEKY voice.
Mrs. Plaggs reluctantly complied,
muttering to herself, "It wos a. inspect
or last time. Let's 'ope as 'ow the
hunole will turn out better. / don't like
the looks Of it myself.
"Well. my lad, said the visitor.
we'll dressed and not at all colonial look
ing man, in a hearty voice, ~ don't
suppose you remember your old Uncle
John, eh?" and he held out his hand to
his nephew. Reginald shook 1t ginger
ly, and for a moment a wild look
came into his eye, soon, however, to be
replaced by determined glare.
Dear me, how time f1ies" Uncle
John went ON, without giving his neph-
ew time to reply. "Let me see, 1t must
be five and twenty years since saw yop
last--a toddling little chap In blouse.
Why, it seems only yesterday since !
spanked your brother Alexander--no,
George-for stealing my apples, but
that was before your time, fancy. Aye,
aye, and suppose you all thought me
dead long ago?'' ratified ON the old gen.
tleman. Never troubled to write to
any one, you see How's your mother?
Well, hope. But, bless my soul, You
don't seem over pleased to see meP' For
Reginald had maintained freezing 81
lence. That's the worst Of surprise
visits" muttered the old man in an ag-
grieved tone. "and yet your mother
ought to have received my wire from
Plymouth. That scoundrel of a porter
never sent 1t off, I suppose. Shouldn't
wonder If my luggage didn't turn up